#i gotta calm myself before any of this goes down bc i will not make it

[dansleftthigh]

phannies in ANTWERP BELGIUM about to meet dan and phil: me, in fucking birmingham alabama in the united states of america: holy shi6t???? holy fucking shit??? it's happening??? oh my god??? what the fuck??? holy sh-

[iraprince]

this might not be something you personally have difficulty with, but i was recently diagnosed with severe adhd and i was wondering if you had any tips regarding just like….drawing?? i have such a hard time getting started even though i usually end up feeling pretty stoked and happy with my work if i manage to get something down. i used to draw constantly as a kid to help me focus in class, but in my adult life i just feel like there are so many invisible barriers between myself and putting pencil to paper. i’m sure there are a lot of perfectionism issues involved as well, so i guess just any sort of advice in any of those areas would be greatly appreciated! your work is fantastic and i’m really grateful that you share adhd stuff as well!! have a great day! :o)

i actually have a LOT of difficulty with this -- i have more difficulty than i have advice, probably! but my advice always ends up boiling down to the same thing lately, and it sounds really hokey but i mean it as literally as possible bc it's the only thing that consistently works for me: be fucking nice to yourself!

for a long time the only solution i had to being Inexplicably Unable To Do Something was to yell at myself, bully myself, assume that i wasn't trying hard enough, and end up a miserable little ball of confusion and frustration. it was def worse before i was diagnosed, but it's definitely not gone (sometimes "i don't know why i can't just do it!" just gets replaced with "well, i know what the problem is, so why can't i find a way around it?!"). and after many many years of experience with the bullying reaction vs a much shorter time comparing this reaction to other, kinder approaches, i can say with a lot of confidence that handling it with internal yelling and shaming doesn't work, straight up. it's not helpful, and most of the time it makes things worse -- even if you manage to force yourself to complete a task once or twice like this, it's too exhausting and demoralizing to be sustainable. so, while you haven't mentioned frustration in your question, that's still where my mind goes as a first step: if you're experiencing distress or anger or embarrassment over running into those barriers over and over again, the first step is practicing being calm and forgiving, not immediately trying to find a way around it. once you hit the wall and you find you can calmly go "oh, okay! this isn't working. let's figure out why" instead of immediately launching into "what the fuck is WRONG with me????", finding solutions is a lot easier.

the times i've surprised myself by having things just suddenly Flow after a long period of struggling are usually brought about by a ton of excitement and enthusiasm! i get really into a rarepair and i'm gripped with the need to make my own content, or i make a new oc who i really love, or i get back into a piece of media i haven't touched in a while and get all charged up with excitement. you gotta feed the tank to make stuff, so setting time aside to consume stuff that inspires and excites you is just as important as setting the time aside to actually sit down and try to draw.

another thing that has helped me is trying to be really purposeful abt reminding myself WHY i draw; sometimes, especially since it's my job, the images i'm supposed to be making just turn into this big featureless stack of Tasks instead of me really thinking about + appreciating what i do and why i love it. when i'm in a rut with commissions, for example, sometimes before i even try to start working (or if i HAVE tried to start and it's just not happening), i stop and sit down with the wips and really LOOK at them. i go through them one at a time and point out things i like about them or what i'm looking forward to doing: "the pose came out so good on the first try and i want to see what it'll look like finished," or "detailing all this hair is going to be so fun and relaxing." when you get so caught up in the constant repeated thought of "i just want to DO something, i want to DRAW," especially when it's been days or weeks or months where you can't, i think you can unconsciously start replacing "i want to draw because it's fun and i like what i make" with "i want to draw because i keep failing to and i just want to prove i can still do it," and for me the latter thought is usually way more distressing than it is motivating.

and finally, a failsafe: sometimes, when i can remember to do it, my secret weapon is counting down at myself for the tiniest steps possible. like i'll literally say out loud, "on the count of five, i'm going to stand up and go get my sketchbook. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...." it has to be out loud and i think the reason it works is because like. if you say it out loud, reach five, and you don't do it, you feel astronomically goofy??? and then i just go from there: "on the count of 5, i'm going to find an empty page." "on the count of 5, i'm going to start sketching a head." it kind of forces through the executive dysfunction in a way i haven't really been able to replicate with anything else. it doesn't always work in a super meaningful way -- like, plenty of times i do like three steps and then i'm like "i hate this and i don't want to and i'm not gonna make anything good like this so i give up!" and then i just take the L for the afternoon. but when the "frozen in place, literally cannot stop just staring at the page" thing is the main issue, it might be enough of a push to get going!

as always here's me going "oh oop no i dont have a lot sorry" and then rambling for paragraphs and paragraphs but by now we should be used to that. good luck, and remember 2 be patient + nice :D

[1kook]

dreamy

—pjm x (f) reader

summary; You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. warnings; ANGST lol, fwb, reader is very :(( rating; mature (18+) bc tiny smut lol  misc; small smut scene, a happy ending <3 wc; 2.5k

notes; i have to post on #JIMIN’s bday or else i cannot live with myself anyway here’s me trying to fit an entire novella plot line in less than 5k words clap for me except maybe don't bc its not proofread anyway hbd jimin <3

Jimin is a nice guy, but you doubt he’d make a nice boyfriend. He fucks you hard and fast, just as you like, but hardly goes out of his way to sprinkle in any other requests. He’s got a one track mind, doesn’t dwell too long on what you say or how you’re feeling. Doesn’t matter because he’s just supposed to be a fuck buddy, the hot guy you met at a party, so you don’t let it phase you. But, well. Jimin is dreamy.

Sometimes he holds your hand while he eats you out and it sends your thoughts into a frenzy, makes your heart pound a little too fast to brush it off as just arousal. He’s got this gorgeous smile, plush lips framing pearly teeth, and when he flashes it your way, it makes your knees weak. Tells you you’re pretty when he picks you up from class, always holds your hand on the way to his place for your routine fuck. Cute and nice like an angel, but just like an angel, he hardly gives a shit about anyone’s feelings but his own.

He laughs when you ask him to hang out that weekend.

“What, like a date?” he snorts, bare chest glistening from his post-fuck exertion. You're pressed against his side now, circling his pretty brown nipple with your finger. “That’s corny.”

You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. “Yeah, silly right,” you murmur, ear pressed to his heart. It’s calming and soothing, a slow thrum that contrasts with your own racing heart.

He’s not one for dates or for romantic things like that. But neither is he some player, a cheater, a two-timer. You can count the number of times he’s slept with someone who wasn’t you in your weird fuck buddy relationship, and all four of those had been when you first started sleeping together and only when you had been out of town. You’re no saint either, so you try to understand. He was just horny, liked getting his dick wet, and sometimes he couldn’t wait for you. Understandable, you tell yourself, but your heart hurts a little bit when he begins snoring without really answering your question.

See the thing is, you really like Jimin. It’s been a little over a year now since you’ve met, so you’ve had plenty of time to learn all about him. He doesn’t like pancakes for breakfast, prefers them for lunch actually, and laughs when you tell him that’s weird. He’s got this really dorky laugh, something between a bell and a whistle— it depends on the situation. Sometimes, Jimin likes when you play with his hair, and other times he doesn’t. He’s a sweet boy, you know he is, so why won’t he settle down?

You hate to attribute it to some past trauma, some “my girlfriend broke my heart when I was seventeen” mess, but the more time that passes you begin to believe it’s true. Jimin was a tough nut to crack, and the longer this drags on, the longer he ignores your feelings, you begin to doubt you will ever see them fulfilled.

Maybe you should end this now before it’s too late.

You don’t stay for breakfast the next morning, simply kiss him goodbye at the door like always. He’s older than you, about two years, so he doesn’t go to school anymore, just chills at home all weekend. “I’ll see you soon?” he grins, low-lidded eyes tracking the movement of your mouth as you bid him adieu. You never give him a solid response, figure a guy like Jimin will forget about you soon enough.

Then, suddenly, it’s been two weeks and he doesn’t reach out. Yeah it hurts, but it’s better than having confessed to him and losing him all at once. You’d rather this ending than the one where he terribly rejects you, breaks your heart into a million pieces, and throws you away. Still, it hurts.

Jimin was so cool. He was smart and confident, had a snappy sort of attitude that he liked to use now and then. He could be mean in bed, lick your cunt until you cried and call you a stupid girl when he wanted to. But that same tongue had snapped at a guy who was trying to pressure you into bed with him at a party. That first night you met, where you had sillily followed him home after his dashing intervention, you had thought it would be nothing more. Just a fling, just a fuck.

But then he was in your bed and in your head, twinkling eyes and cocky grin trailing after you everyday. He was so pretty and so suave, made you feel good even when he was being mean. But you suppose most cocky men like Jimin are like that. They know they don’t disappoint, even when they’re not really trying.

Jimin doesn’t call or text. You don’t see his car pull up outside your campus anymore. He’s gone and that’s that. You cry a little (see: a lot) and pretend you’re over him. You definitely don’t think about his soft laughter or his hands on your chest. Nope.

So that ends.

Or so you think.

Your friends say you’re mopey and sad, too down for someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend. It’s true, which sucks, but they honor your admittance by taking you out to a bar that night. It’s supposed to be chill and relaxing, just some drinks with the girls to soothe your aching heart. But the name of the bar reminds you of something, of someone you can’t reach anymore, and you don’t even know why. You’ve never been here before, never even knew this place existed. But everything about it brings you back to Jimin, like you’re in his space now, and you’re unsure why.

It reminds you of his laugh, his smile, to the point you swear you can hear it, right beside you, down the bar, to your left—

He waves.

There’s this look he used to give you every time he picked you up from your last class, this mix between adoration and lust that made your skin tingle with excitement. It’s not there now, in fact, it’s replaced with the complete opposite. It’s, like, the meanest look he can muster, something akin to a scowl. He smiles, but it’s so plastic-y and fake, it makes your head hurt. He’s so obviously unimpressed with you, probably because you ghosted him before he could ghost you. Maybe his pride is hurt and looking at you grosses him out. Maybe he just hates you.

Either way, eleven pm rolls around and you’re crying in the bathroom. Your friends are out on the floor having fun and singing karaoke. They think you’ve gone inside because you got your period, because that’s what you’ve told them. You don’t know how to explain that your ex who isn’t really your ex is out there looking at you like you’re a piece of gum stuck under his shoe. They’ve never even met Jimin. Why? Because he wasn’t your boyfriend. Who meets their friend’s fuck buddy? No one.

You sniffle, press a balled up tissue against your eyes in a feeble attempt to save your makeup. The bar isn’t that small, but neither is it huge. There’s only a few bathrooms in the back, and you’ve been hogging one of them for some time now. Someone knocks on the door, and you don’t even get the chance to ward them off before the crappy knob jingles and the door bursts open.

“Come on,” he grumbles, “you’re not the only one who’s gotta piss—“

He pauses, meets your eye through the mirror in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you blubber, hurriedly washing your hands in an effort to avoid his gaze. Jimin lingers at the door, which has long since fallen shut, and watches you with the eyes of a hawk. Your hands tremble and shake, fumble over the towel dispenser three times before you’re hastily making your escape. “Sorry,” you mutter again, head downcast as you move around him for the door.

Just as it cracks open, the music from outside filtering in, he slams it shut with a flat palm. You flinch, close in on yourself as he steps behind you. “What’re you doing here, doll?” he murmurs, deep yet careful. Tentative. “You don’t like bars.”

You know you don’t like bars. You didn’t know he knew that. “I’m with some friends,” you explain, jump when a hand touches your shoulder. “I— I’ll leave soon.”

A second attempt for the door is thwarted by Jimin. “Don’t,” he startles, breath heavy against your ear. “Don’t leave again…” he sighs, forehead against your shoulder. And then, quietly, “why did you leave me?”

Your heart syncs up with the music outside, thunders in your ears as you purse your lips. You don’t want to talk about it now, don’t want to confess to these emotions that drown you. Especially not when he’ll never understand nor will he ever care. It’s best to leave it as is, you convince yourself, slowly shrugging him off.

“We don’t want the same things,” you reply, eyes burning with the need to cry like a baby. But it’ll weaken your argument, make you look like the sentimental girl you know he won’t like. “It wouldn’t work anyway.”

The hand on your shoulder jerks you around, makes a gasp catch in your throat when he crowds you against the door. He’s got that same glare on from before, the one he had sent you across the bar earlier, and it makes your lower lip tremble when it’s this close. “You never asked me what I wanted,” he hisses.

It is then that you realize it isn't anger or disgust, but frustration that paints his features. It’s pure, unadulterated confusion and distress on his pretty face, furrowed brows and narrowed eyes pointed your way. You don’t know what it means, don’t know what he wants. “I,” you choke, weakly covering your face with your hand before he can see you crumble. “I just wanted you.”

Jimin deflates, steps closer until his body is pressed against yours, hands on your shoulders. “And you have me, doll,” he murmurs, bumps his nose against yours. “Always have.”

You shake your head, choke on a sob that bubbles up your throat. “No, not like that,” you stress, losing yourself in the emotions you spent so much time bottling up. “I wanted more.”

Jimin shushes you, guides your head into the crook of his neck where you paint his skin in dark mascara tears. “Is this about the date?” he sighs, patting your head gently.

“It’s more than just the date,” you cry, fists curling into the material of his shirt until it rumples beyond repair. He doesn’t understand.

Jimin nods, let’s you cry and sob until you’re feeling better and someone else is pounding at the door, yelling at you two to get a proper room. You don’t want a room, you only want his heart. 

He takes you home again, helps you out of your shoes at the door because you’re still sensitive and quiver like a leaf when you walk. His bedroom is familiar, smells like him and his detergent. You miss it so much, want to savor it once more. Something in your gut says this is the last time, this is just Jimin getting one last fuck out of you before he really abandons you.

So you cry when he sits down on the edge of the bed. He hasn’t even said anything, hasn’t even taken his socks off yet, but you’re already a mess.

And of course he’s there to catch you, tugs you between his legs to look up at you as if you’ve hung the stars in the sky. “Don’t cry,” he whispers, reaching up to brush away your tears. But it’s not your fault that he looks like that right before he’s going to break your heart.

He’s so cool, even when you’re falling apart in his hands. “You don’t want me,” you sniffle, let him guide you onto his lap. “You just want to fuck and that’s it.”

Jimin leans his forehead against yours, warm breath washing over your skin. “I never said that,” he murmurs. “We’ve been over this.”

You huff. “Well you never said you did either,” you snap, rubbing at your eyes.

You cry and cry some more, until your sobs subside and you’re left with the hiccups afterwards. Jimin maneuvers you beside him, lets your hair spill across the sheets as he lays you down. They smell just like him, make your head spin when he kisses your cheek softly. “I want you,” he confesses. “I want this.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No, you don’t,” you sniff, but you’re not so sure. It’s what you’ve been telling yourself for the longest. Hearing him say otherwise sounds weird, even if he’s saying what you want to hear. “You don’t.”

Jimin catches your hand in his, pins it to the mattress. “I want you to be mine,” he adds, swallows your cries of denial with his lips. He kisses softly, and for the first time, it feels like he’s paying attention to you. Not your body or your lust, but your heart. “Had me feeling like shit when you didn’t come back. Like I lost something big.”

You still cry when he kisses down your neck, over your chest. His hands pull your clothes off, carefully like you’re a present for him to unwrap. Those plush lips you love so much drown you in kisses, over your tummy and your mound, until they’re buried between your cunt. “You’re mine,” he husks out, hand entwined with yours.

His eyes are dark from down there, long lashes blinking up at you as he dips his tongue in the places you crave him most. It brings you to a shuddering end, has you whimpering his name into the empty air until your toes are curling and you’re coming against his mouth. Jimin has never shied away from you, and doesn’t know, sits up with a hazy look in his eyes as he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

Jimin wastes no time undressing, pushes off that sexy jacket until his lithe body is coming into view, thick thighs and lean abdomen. He slides right into you, holds your knees to your chest as he fucks you like never before. It’s slow and sensual, makes you shiver when he says your name in that low register of his. “Don’t leave again,” he whimpers, cock throbbing between your walls. He’s desperate today, ruts like you’ll slip right between his fingertips. It’s funny because you're the same way, clinging onto his shoulders until you’re practically glued together.

You come and so does Jimin. He pants against your ear, feels so warm and heavy on top of you. He doesn’t say much more that night, just plays with your hair. But he asks you on a date, mentions something about a carnival. “Yes,” you respond right away, because, well.

Jimin was dreamy. Maybe he’d be a good boyfriend.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[plusultrachaos]

Ok ok saw your pinned post and yay we have the same ships from what I can see but also I really wanna hear how you think Erasermic accidentally finding out about Shinso (I hc him as their son) dating Denki. Hc or drabble I guess whatever you want I just wanna hear your thoughts on it 😊

hc it is

so starting off

at first, shinsou was not wanting kaminari to meet his dads. its not because hes embarrassed by them or wants to keep kami a secret from them.

its bc aizawa has a tendency to overdo the shovel talk (shinsou walked in on it once when it was just a friend.) meaning that he threatens them with prison and potentially death if they so much as touch shinsou. (the friend wasnt a friend after that. aizawa was happy.)

yamada... yamada is a Dad™️ and hes not even funny about it. he just kind of sees an opportunity for a pun and will literally just go nuts. its terrible

he loves his dads for these... unique attributes, but he knows his boyfriend and he knows that kami will go absolutely bonkers about it.

shin hasnt told kami anything about his dads, just tjat he has them.

kami is patient about meeting shins mysterious dads, but when shin is finally like "get dressed nocely" he does what is expected and goes nuts.

at furst that is.

i hc kami as perpetually anxiety ridden. along with adhd, so hes like conscientious about the things that he is doing, but hes also like gotta zoom. and so like hes excited and zoom about meeting, but by the time that wears off, he is panicking.

he calls The Squad™️ in for help and together they get a nice but casual look on kami and send him kn his way.

(some how baku knows about shins dads being who they are (probbaly bc hes not fucking blind and can see shit) and so he leaves kamis room with a harsh "hes screwed")

shin meets kami in the lounge of the dorms and when they start to leave, kami is just Stream Of Consciousness™️ literally just spouting off anything and everything in his mind out of pure anxiety.

shin stops in front of the teachers dorms and kami is top tier confused. he doesnt know why theyd be there and just like stares at his boyfriend for a few seconds before it like finally clicks and its just like

"OH OH SHIT IM FUCKING SCREWED IM DEAD. AIZAWA IS GOING TO KILL ME. IM ABSOLUTELY DEAD."

shinsou has to like hold him back from running out bc his dads are waitinf and its taken them long enough.

(side note:i hc them to like have a really sweet calming technique for when kami is like super overwhelmed and like panicked. shinsou just like cups kamis face in his hands and puts their faces close and just breaths with kami. its not instant, but it does the job.)

he does that and kaminari is just like calm but still amped up and he runs a hand through his hair and its instant static. poof. and it like defuses any worries either of them were having and they are laughing.

they take each others hands and walk in and get to the yamada-aizawa labeled door and wait.

aizawa opens the door, looks st them and shuts it again.

shinsous just like "dad."

the door opens and this time its yamada.

"pop, tell dad to stop. if he threatens denks, im leaving."

yamada just laughs and lets them in with a "good luck with that, child."

kaminari is very nervous. he stares at the pro heroes until suddenly yamada makes a pun out of nowhere and hes laughing.

hes instantly yamadas favorite little listener.

"now why cant i get you to laugh at my jokes like that."

"theyre not funny zashi." -aizawa

shinsou eventually excuses himself for the bathroom and on his way back to the table he slows down to hear his dad giving kami the shovel talk.

he doesnt go out to kamis rescue because he hears in response.

"i understand your concern, Aizawa-sensei. you have nothing to worry about though. i really really really like your son and if i do anything to hurt Hitoshi, i will be turning myself in and i dont think i will trust myself."

shinsou melts and goes out there. he knows that kami wasnt intimidated away and that makes him like him even more.

(after shinkami leave, yamada turns to aizawa and goes "we liked him?" "absolutely despised him" [in the most lovingly sarcastic way possible] yamada starts planning the wedding.)

[jj-5656]

🎄Fa-la-la-late🎄 With; Diego Hargreeves

A/N:Ummmm...hello? First off, thank you all so much for the love on my last couple imagines. Sorry for the hiatus, what can I say junior year is as hard as they say it is. Anyway, I was supposed to be sleeping last night but I was writing this instead. Leave it to me to become inspired at the worst times. This is for everyone celebrating a holiday this year without your family because of the pandemic (which is still a thing btw.) Also, this is very long but I love it. Okay enough talking, enjoy!

TW: None except...Well, Klaus is Klaus. And more random POV change bc I can!

He’s running, sprinting really, brown bag tucked haphazardly under his arm as it’s contents jostle around inside with his movements. Filled with last minute groceries for the evenings event. Never in Diego Hargreeves’ life had he thought he’d be rushing home in preparations for a Christmas party, in a red sweater for that matter. But what can he say, a year into his relationship with her and he’s officially whipped. Ever since the two of you met you had introduced him to an enormity of things he’d never considered important. Whether it be birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, you’ve added so much more to him that he could never really repay you for. So, he figures making a very last minute trip to the ever so crowded grocery store on Christmas Eve is worth it. Having to deal with other crazed and unprepared city people for three types of cheeses, four types of crackers, and a particularly expensive bottle of wine.

Apparently a Christmas party, or any get together for that matter, is simply incomplete without an assortment of appetizers. Right, Diego Hargreeves hosting a Christmas party for his siblings. The same ones who only learned about holidays in their World Culture textbooks during hours sectioned off on their daily regimen instead of actually celebrating them. The biting cold reminds him of the lonely Christmas’ throughout his life, which was at the time any other day of the year to him. He snaps out of the dark thoughts when he realizes he’s made it up the stairs and to the front door, a chorus of clanging pots and curses coming from inside.

He fumbles through the door, reminding himself he’s supposed to be rushing, but the beautifully decorated apartment distracts him from the task at hand. The warm feeling he’s still getting used to fluttering through his stomach as he recalls when you first surprised him with the holiday decor.

“It’s not too much, right? I know you never really celebrated Christmas, and neither of us are religious but my family always made the holidays a big deal and I thought-”

“You did all this?” His brown eyes are wide, gazing up at the assortment of twinkling lights aligning the interior of your shared home, a beautiful tree full of red and green ornaments in the middle of your living room. It’s stunning, to say the least, and Diego’s sure he’s never felt so much at home as he does now.

You’re gazing up at him, eyes nervously darting between your boyfriend and the assortment of ornaments. He walks forward from the entryway to admire the garland above the fireplace and the evergreen that just barely scruffs the top of the ceiling. It’s all new to him, and a bit overwhelming, and suddenly Diego realizes the resentment he’s held toward the holiday ever since he was a child was completely misguided. Because the joy he feels now, the warmth tingling throughout his body is foreign but so comforting.

“You hate it, don’t you? Listen, I just thought maybe I’d try and show you Christmas isn’t all about consumerism and selling shitty-”

“It’s beautiful.” He interrupts again, and you swear there’s a moisture begging to leave his eyes as he finally looks to you with an awed expression.

“I don’t, I’ve never...I always hated Christmas. I guess because I never had a real family as a kid. But this, this is j-just...Thank you.”

*End Flashback*

“You’re late!” You shout as the front door bursts open, a familiar thud of boots kicking snow off their bottoms and then walking towards the kitchen. Diego walks in with hands full with groceries, hair wet and messy with flurries of snow littering the raven strands. You narrow your eyes at the sight of him, dopey smile on his face as he sets the bags down on the counter.

“What’s gotten into you? I thought you’d still be grumpy at the fact that we’re hosting.” You’re less than presentable at the moment, having been cooking all day and leaving getting yourself ready for last minute. You puff a stray hair out of your face as he responds.

“Nothing, and actually I am still upset that my siblings are coming over.” He leans against the counter as you unpack the groceries, eager to finish up so you can look a little less crazy when the remaining Hargreeves arrive. Diego is still staring at you, grinning fondly at how flustered you look. And although he’d rather not have you meet his brothers and sister, you deserve to know why he’s keeping you from meeting. After all, it’s been a year since you’ve been together, and he’s met your family already.

It’s different though, because although they too have their issues, your family isn’t a dysfunctional pack of emotionally-stunted freaks. He’d much rather protect you from their intrusive antics. The warm feeling fades as he realizes what’s to come. He appreciates your optimism, truly, but he suddenly can’t shake the feeling that they’ll manage to upset you and ultimately screw up what you’ve been preparing for all day.

“A little help please?” You ground him once more, gesturing to the bags beside the both of you and the assortment of trays of food on the counters. Diego grabs onto your sides when you try to brush past him to check on the turkey, ignoring your incredulous look as he presses his body against yours.

“There’s still time to call this all off, you know. We can watch all the cheesy Christmas movies you want, and have dinner all to ourselves.” His eyes are hopefully looking into yours, the persuasion in his tone hinting a part of him isn’t really joking.

“Absolutely not. Di, we’ve been together for a year now. I want to get to know your siblings. Besides, you met my family and they loved you!”

“That’s different y/n, you’re family is...Well, they’re not like mine! You guys are normal! My brother is a moon-obsessed, half monkey moron and my sister is a mind-controlling movie star.” You can’t help but giggle at his words even though his frustration is adamant. He backs away from your embrace and runs his a hand through his hair in an effort to calm himself down. The sudden thought of one of them being too pushy or making you upset is overwhelming him now. If it’s one thing he’d like to keep you from, it’s the bad side of him his siblings tend to bring out.

“Diego.” Your voice is soft now, you’re using that love-laced tone that always makes him feel like he’s melting. He shivers as you get closer to him, still somehow getting used to the effect you have on him. And although you don’t notice, you seem to be aware you’re calming him down. “I’m scared too, I don’t want to mess something up or embarrass myself in front of them. Hell, your little-or...Older brother is a time traveling assassin who’s kind of a genius. It’s intimidating definitely, but they’re your family Di. I know you hate to admit it, but they’ve played a huge role in who you are. And even if a lot of times you resent each other, it’s clear you love them.”

He’s gotta admit, you’ve always had a way with words. “Fine, what can I do to help beautiful?”

“you can start with setting the table so I can get ready and actually look beautiful. And use the good China!” You plant a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing off to the bedroom, silently praying the anxious won’t drop a plate or two in the process.

****************************

“Baby, does red or white wine go with tur-woah.” You’re doing some finishing touches on your makeup when Diego walks in, honey brown eyes shamelessly looking over your figure with a smirk as he now leans against the door frame.

You roll you eyes at his ogling, but can’t help smoothing down the silky olive green fabric of the dress your wearing with a pleased smile. Gold jewelry adorns your neck and ears, with matching gold heels to bring the look together. The red of his sweater (he so stubbornly obliged to wearing) compliments the green you're wearing beautifully. A year ago, Diego wonders just how much it would take him to put on anything other than black.

“Cmon, they’ll be here any minute.”

As if I’m cue, the doorbell of the apartment rings. You rush to the front door, Diego trailing behind as he reminds himself how important the evening is to you.

“And remember, no knives.” You whisper to him, turning back around and opening the door.

“Fröhliche Weihnachten!” Klaus pushes through the entryway excitedly, tackling you in a hug in greeting. Luckily, you’ve already met the most eccentric sibling of the bunch. As he often crashes at your place, much to Diego’s disliking (or so he says).

“My my my, that dress is to die for! I’ll be borrowing that soon. And those heels! Please tell me we’re the same siz-”

“Alright bonehead, you can steal her stuff later. Take yourself and the booze to the kitchen.” Diego interrupts, shrugging when you slap his shoulder at his bluntness.

Greeting the rest of the family goes better than expected. Allison and Luther arrived together (an innocent carpool of course) whilst Vanya had come just a few minutes after Klaus, happy to see she wasn’t the first to arrive. She brought along with her a homemade dish, Allison with a top notch bottle of champagne, and Five with a box of Griddy’s  donuts and...Coffee? His odd choice of food making the perfect ice breaker, to his confusion of course. 

“Alright, enough small talk. Diego, how much are you paying this lovely lady to pretend to be your girlfriend?” Klaus interjects your conversation about current events as the rest of the table looks to the pair of you and laughs. 

“Seriously, Allison couldn’t even rumor someone to be this good of a cook,” Luther chimes in. Not having looked up from his plate for a majority of the meal.

Although slightly offended, Diego realizes his siblings have a valid point. You’re blushing crimson as you laugh along, shaking your head and nervously rambling on about when you just last week almost burnt the apartment down trying to perfect said recipes. He’s entranced as you speak, admiring the way you seem to capture all of them with unknown ease. Unknown, truly, because you’re still too modest to see how perfect you are. He doesn’t deserve you, but he’ll spend every day trying to even out the impossible score. It's known he can be quite the competitor. 

“I’m just shocked he’s out of black for once.”

“Says the 45 year old in a school uniform!”

                                          **********************

“Alright, I’ll clear up dinner so we can start dessert.” Y/n announces, just in time to halt a three-way argument between her boyfriend, Luther and Five about some Academy mission from when they were kids. The evening has been lighthearted for the most part, with a majority of the conflict being steered off by Allison or Vanya. The two practically experts at distracting their egotistical brothers. You catch on as they do so, the three of you having shared a few sly smirks between one another a few times throughout the meal. 

“Please y/n, let me. You’ve done more than enough tonight. Besides, I need someone to test out that wine for me.” Allison assures, kicking Diego’s shin and motioning to the kitchen when you’ve given her an appreciative smile and inquired Vanya on her violin skills. 

Allison’s knife wielding brother shoots her a look of shock at her actions, trailing along confusedly after her. Your empty plate and his own in hand as he sets them down in the sink. 

“What the hell? Why-where-you-hiding-her-from-us!) The curly haired woman emphasizes each word with a smack of a stray dish towel to his arm, sure nobody can hear them over Klaus’ obnoxious storytelling back in the dining room. 

“Quit it! I wasn’t hiding her I-I was protecting her from you shitheads.” Diego defends, once again bewildered by his sister’s playful outburst. 

“Diego! She’s amazing, you should’ve introduced us forever ago.” 

“Right, she’s amazing. What do you not get by the word protecting? If you all had met her any sooner you would have scared her off!” He flails his arms as he speaks, unaware of his flushed cheeks as his sister smiles fondly at him. 

“What now Allison?”

“You loooveee her.” She poke his side as she teases, chuckling again when he swats her arm away. The scene is childish, but something about the heat rising through his neck to the tips of his ears makes Diego feel like a kid again. Allison teasing him about girls, just as they had when they were young. 

“Wh-whatever. Yeah, I love her. Can we go back to the table now, or should we paint our nails and giggle about how totes adorbs Luther Looks in that coat?” They both laugh at his mocking, leaving the room and too giddy to remember the discarded plates left behind. 

                                      ***********************

“An espresso machine? Wow, Columbia-brewed K-cups too! You shouldn’t have y/n.” Five is beaming at the gift in hand, wrapping paper still hanging off the side of the box as he admires the machine. His siblings stare confusedly at his jolly demeanor, and he immediately clears his throat before giving said girl a curt nod. “Thanks.” He deadpans, and you laugh with a nod at his change in demeanor. 

Luther and Allison have already opened their gifts, the burly man pointing to his miniature moon replica and lecturing about the craters and valleys to an extremely bored Klaus. Allison has already put on the elegant gold charm bracelet you’ve given her, rolling charm with Claire’s initials and birthstone on it with glossy eyes. Beside her, Vanya delicately peels the wrapping off to a freshly polished violin case, her name inscribed in cursive on the top. 

“It’s beautiful. I-I’m so sorry we didn’t get you anything. If I had known-”

“Nonsense V, I’m just glad you could all make it tonight.” You reassure with genuine smile, glad to see her positive response to the nickname. 

“I still can’t believe you got them gifts.” Diego mumbles from behind you, having climbed over the back of the couch you’re all sat on to have you sit between his legs. He kisses your temple and wraps his arms around your middle, softly humming when yo lean into him. The fireplace is crackling, and the record payer you love dearly quietly plays a Perry Como Christmas album. You close your eyes, taking in the warm feeling and relaxing in Diego’s touch. The two of you jumping when a shout comes from beside you.

“My turn! My turn!” Klaus claps loudly to grab your attention. You chuckle at his childish ways, leaning down to pick up the wrapped present at your feet and handing it off to him. Unlike the others, he eagerly rips apart the wrapping, gasping dramatically when he lifts up the skirt. 

“You’re a bit hard to shop for, there’s a gift receipt if-” The excitable man scrambles up from the floor tug on the fabric, twirling around in it in a fit of giggles before you can finish your statement. 

“Great, he’ll never take that off.” Diego mumbles in your ear, you shake your head with a smirk at his teasing before you’re reminded of something.

“Oh! And one more thing.” You note suddenly, climbing out of Diego’s hold as he huffs reluctantly. You pull a a final present from under the tree, secretly handing it to Klaus to make sure the others don’t see. Though they’re too enveloped in conversation to noticed.

“Another one for me?” He whispers happily, eyes furrowing when you shake your head. Sitting back down in Diego’s arms before you explain. 

“No, well...Yes, sort of. You’ll see.” You ramble, gesturing to the box in his hands as he apprehensively chuckles. You feel Diego’s eyes on you, deciding to place a peck on his jaw instead of elaborating. 

Klaus pulls out a pair of books, readig the well-known titles before looking up at you. You motion to the box once more, biting your nail as he sets them aside and reaches in once more. He pulls out  picture frame with a sharp intake of breathe, hand going over his mouth as he looks up at you once more. Your boyfriend, eager to see what has silenced his rowdy brother, takes the frame to inspect it. 

It’s a picture of him, Klaus, and Ben on the front steps of the academy. Having to be only five or six in the photo. Klaus has an arm around Ben, smiling big for the camera as his brother offers a smaller, but no less genuine grin to the lens. Diego sits a step above them, mouth frozen open in a laugh as he must of been reaction to something only Klaus could make him react so much at. 

“I remember Di telling me Ben read a lot. And...Well, it felt wrong to get everyone else a gift but him. Those are two of my favorit-”

“Wh-Where did you find this?” Diego whispers, arms encircled even tighter around you as he holds up the frame in shock. 

“When we were moving in. I found it at the bottom of one of the shelves at your room at the gym. It was under a bunch of old books you had, I figured it could use a frame.” Just as you finish, Klaus practically tackles you in a hug, a soft hiccup coming from him when he pulls away. 

“Geez Klaus, it’s just a skirt!” 

“Can-it Luther!”

                                     *************************

“You think he’ll be alright?” You mutter from the bedroom hallway. You and Diego leaning against the wall, looking at Klaus whose passed out on the sofa. The others having left hours ago, but you simply couldn’t wake him at seeing how peaceful he was. The picture frame still tucked to his chest as he snored softly. 

“Trust me, he’s fine. I think he’ll be sleeping in that skirt every night from now on.” Diego pulls you to your bedroom door as you laugh, the exhaustion from today finally setting. 

“Hey, would you look at that? Mistletoe.” Your head trails upwards to gaze up at the fruit being dangled above your head as you grin.

“Those are grapes Di.”

“Are they? Hmm, must be from that stupid cheese board I had to run across town for.” 

“It’s a chacuterie, actually. Didn’t you learn French Hargreeves?”

“Yep, but I only seem to remember two words.”

“Oh really? And what might those be?”

“Embrasse moi” He finishes as he connects his lips with yours, holding your face as if you might slip away when he lets go. 

“Smooth, knife boy.” You pull away softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“Merry Christmas Di.”

[infinitebells]

so, angst. being moran's childhood bsf so when he becomes colonel you're like "you better come back or i'm dragging you back haha" and he teases you bc "aw you love me that much you'll actually go to war?" and he sees how upset you genuinely are and he's like "of course i'm coming back" but surprise u hear he's kia and you're a wreck so when he DOES come back you're a mess of tears and sputtering bc "you were dead!" cut to him holding u in his arms and telling u he loves u - ruby anon

i have stayed up thinking about this for two nights straight and every time i do i change it up a bit so hopefully my thoughts are more coherent on paper. also i lowkey made myself cry writing this

✧ he was literally your best friend, you were never apart from him for more than a day unless one of your families was traveling

✧ you’d known him since you were both kids, having lived next to each other your entire lives

✧ you two would always be seen running around the town and laughing

✧ he was so so protective of you, he got into fights with boys who would tease you or make fun of you

✧ the older you two got, the more it was painfully obvious that you were in love with each other

✧ through your teenage years he’d do anything to have alone time with you, sneaking into your room at midnight to stay up and talk with you, pulling you to a random meadow so you guys can have lunch, anything to be with you

✧ as you got older though, your parents were less inclined to let you two hang out since moran needed to focus on his education and you needed to learn how to be a ‘proper lady’

✧ hence the need to sneak into your room in the middle of the night to spend time with each other

✧ when he found out he had made colonel and he was being shipped off in two weeks, he was devastated that he had to leave you

✧ that night you could tell something was off with him, he was quieter than usual and couldn’t meet your gaze

✧ when you asked him what was wrong, he didn’t say anything at first, until he reached out and pulled you into his lap so that your legs jutted out over his left leg and the temple of your head was pressed to his chest

✧ he could barely get the words out, his voice so low he was scared you wouldn’t be able to hear, but the way your body stiffened slightly allowed him to realize you did

✧ he held his breath, waiting for you to say something until he felt you shift in his lap, turning so you could face him, legs straddling his waist before wrapping your arms around his waist and putting your head in the crook of his neck, congratulating him with a shaky voice for doing such a good job

✧ he holds you tighter against him, swallowing the lump in his throat

✧ he can feel you trembling in his arms, but he doesn’t say anything until you pull yourself out of his neck and give him a wobbly smile, tears in your eyes

✧ “you better come back or i’ll drag you back myself”

✧ he knows you’re just trying to be your usual sarcastic, witty self to try and push through the reality that the love of your life your best friend is leaving and may never come back

✧ he laughs, grabbing your face and keeping it gently in his hands

✧ “aw, you love me that much that you’ll actually go to war?”

✧ when he finishes talking, the tears in your eyes spill out involuntarily, and your head drops from his hands to try and hide your tears from him

✧ he realizes how upset you truly are, grabbing your face again and bringing your forehead to his, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs

✧ “i’m coming back princess, i promise”

✧ when you open your eyes and look up, you realize just how close your faces are

✧ your brain short circuits and every memory you’ve had with him flashes before your eyes, and you realize way too late that “oh fuck i’m so in love with him”

✧ meanwhile in his head, he’s thinking that even with tears in your eyes he’s never seen you look so beautiful

✧ so he brings your forehead to his lips, kissing it softly before pulling you back into him

✧ the next few nights he comes over, you barely talk

✧ he knows how upset you are, so he just keeps you in his lap, brushing his fingers through your hair and telling you random stories to keep your mind off of the fact that he’ll be gone soon

✧ the night before he has to leave, you’re both deathly quiet

✧ you’re on different opposite ends of your bed, staring at the floor

✧ after another few minutes of quiet, you crawl over to him, pushing yourself into his lap so that your legs are once again over his legs and your head is resting just above his heart

✧ he doesn’t hesitate holding you close, breathing in the smell of your hair

✧ you’re scared to ask him your next question, but you push through with a very shaky voice

✧ “can you please just hold me and stay the night?”

✧ he’s quiet, terrified that this could be the last time he gets to hold you

✧ “anything for my princess”

✧ you nod against him, pulling your blanket up over you two before he settles so he’s lower on your headboard, one arm secured around your waist and the other stroking your hair

✧ that night is the only time he allows himself to cry, tears hitting the top of your head

✧ he knows you’re crying, he can feel your body shaking, but he doesn’t say anything. there isn’t anything he can say to make this any better

✧ but when he hears a choked sob, he holds you even closer to him, his eyes scrunching up because when he hears your cries, when he can feel how badly you’re shaking, he never wants to leave you

✧ you’re full on sobbing now, hiccuping every so often as you hide your face in his chest, hands balled up in his shirt

✧ he runs his hands over your back, kissing the top of your head, trying to comfort you

✧ in a spur of the moment decision, he starts humming a tune that had always been one of your favorites, hoping it would help

✧ he feels your shaking start to stop, your cries quieting, the only noise coming from you now is just occasional sniffles

✧ when you finally fall asleep on him, your tear stained face peaceful once again, he stares for a few minutes committing to memory the scene of you sleeping on his chest, hands clutching tightly onto his shirt with his arms around you

✧ once he starts to see the sky lightening, he slowly maneuvers you off of him, staring down at you one last time before leaving his ring with an ‘m’ engraved on it on your nightstand, as well as a note

✧ “i’ll come back for you princess. our story isn’t over yet, i still have things i want to tell you ok?”

✧ when you wake up and see the note and ring, you don’t hesitate to slip the ring on, putting the note in a box of your most precious keepsakes

✧ the first week he is gone, you’re utterly silent

✧ your parents heard that moran was getting deployed, and they knew you were close, so they didn’t try to comfort you because they knew you’d be inconsolable

✧ after a few weeks, you start talking more, but they know you’ll be off unless he’s back home

✧ your friends can’t say anything to help, you just change the subject every time, refusing to hear anyone talk about it

✧ it isn’t until three years later, when you’re 26 years old and he would be 28, his parents ask for you to come to their house

✧ when you get there, his mom’s eyes are red and his father is solemn

✧ your heart drops at the sight, and when they finally spit out the fact that he was killed in action, you stop breathing

✧ everything is a haze, the way they hand you his jacket that he wanted to give to you, his pocket watch that he’d left for you, and a letter he’d written in case he died on the field

✧ you don’t remember how you got home, but when your parents see you with his jacket and the watch with the letter, they know something awful has happened

✧ no tears have left your eyes, but you can hear your mom crying against your dad as you robotically make your way to your room, dropping yourself on your bed

✧ with shaky hands, you open the letter he left

✧ “hey princess. if you’re reading this, that means i broke our promise, and i’m so sorry that i did. my only motivation to come back home was you, and i’m eternally sorry for the fact that i can’t come home and be with you. there was still so much i wanted to do, to say, but i suppose i can tell you here. i love you. not the way that family loves each other but the way that i’m so desperately in love with you that when i think about you my heart beats two times faster, my palms get sweaty, and i can’t help but smile. i wanted to make you mine when i came home, but that can’t happen anymore. i’d give anything to hold you in my arms the way i did before i left, you looked so beautiful in my arms. god i miss you so much. i gotta go princess, but please know i love you so much, even in death. p.s. please keep the jacket, pocket watch, and ring. don’t get sad when you look at them, just remember all the good memories we had okay?”

✧ that’s when the tears fall, and then they don’t stop

✧ you’re screaming, sobbing, and your parents can’t do anything to calm you down

✧ your dad runs to get a doctor because the only way you’ll calm down at this point is with a sedative

✧ your mom holds you but you can’t say or do anything except cry, and cry, and cry because your childhood friend, your best friend, the one you’ve been in love with for years is gone, and you never got to tell him

✧ once the doctor gives you the sedative, your dad goes to the moran household to give her condolences, and your mother stays by your side, wiping your sleeping face with a damp cloth

✧ when you wake up, you’re completely numb

✧ after reading his letter for the first time, you put it in your box along with the note he left you before he first left

✧ for the next few weeks, you don’t speak to anyone. you’re mute, only doing work around the house, saving up for your own place because you can’t bear the thought of being in your room without him

✧ after two months, you leave your parents house, getting your own apartment

✧ your parents are understanding of the fact that you need space to yourself to get away from everything

✧ they help you move, and once you’re finally in your apartment, all you can think of is how badly you wish he was here to live in it with you

✧ you collapse on the floor, crying silently for the first time since you found out that he had died

✧ you had been wearing his jacket because it was cold outside, so you pull it even tighter around you, feeling like your chest was caving in on you from the way your heart throbbed painfully

✧ you didn’t stop crying for an hour, and when you finally did, you grabbed his watch off the kitchen counter, walking out and going to the nearest bar because you needed to be inebriated

✧ by the time you sit down at the bar, you’re completely unaware of your surroundings

✧ you signal the bartender for a whiskey, wanting to indulge in his favorite drink for old times sake

✧ as you’re sipping your glass, without your knowledge, moran is in the corner, drinking his own whiskey

✧ he hasn’t stopped thinking about you ever since he had been pronounced killed in action, wondering what you were feeling

✧ you on the other hand are so caught up in your drink you don’t acknowledge the man who slides onto the barstool next to you

✧ he taps your shoulder, and you turn to see him smiling at you

✧ he introduces himself, and you only nod before turning back to your drink, already tired of the social interaction

✧ he slides closer, asking if you’re here alone, and you nod once again, not even bothering to look at him

✧ he continues to flirt with you, and you only give half hearted replies, getting tired of him already

✧ once you feel his hand come to rest on your thigh, you fly up and clock him in the jaw, sending him flying off the stool and onto the floor

✧ everyone in the bar, including moran, looks up at the commotion

✧ he’s frozen, watching you stand furiously over this man who’s cowering on the floor before you

✧ “i’m very obviously wearing another man’s jacket, i’ve got a ring on my finger, i’m barely responding to you and you still continue to flirt with me? my husband died in the war two months ago but before he left he still taught me how to fight so unless you want your ass beat, i suggest learning some fucking boundaries,”

✧ with that, you storm out of the bar, and moran in a trance follows you, kicking the guy on the floor on the way out

✧ you’re fuming, shaking in anger, so much so that you don’t realize that moran is following you, in awe of how much more beautiful you’ve gotten

✧ by the time you’ve reached your apartment, you’re still shaking, but this time you’ve got tears in your eyes

✧ when you hear a knock on the door, you wipe your eyes and open the door

✧ there stands colonel sebastian moran, and you can’t breathe

✧ he’s there, in a jacket matching yours, black pants, black boots with a brown top, and a gray button up underneath his jacket

✧ his hair is longer now, and he’s bulked out, much taller than you compared to before when he was only three quarters of a foot taller, but he’s here

✧ “so i’m your husband now? i’d love to have had an invitation to the wedding”

✧ he sounds more in awe that you’re here in front of him, but hearing his voice again makes everything crash down onto you, and you collapse on your knees sobbing

✧ he rushes down to your level, closing the door before catching you before you hit the ground, holding you impossibly close to his chest as he devolves into tears, his heart breaking at your heart wrenching sobs

✧ “you were dead! you were dead, you were gone, and, and-“

✧ “i’m here. i’m here and i’m not leaving i promise”

✧ you pull back from his chest to grab his face and smash your lips onto his, tears still streaming down both of your faces

✧ his arms envelop your waist, both of you kneeling on the ground with your lips on each other’s

✧ your kiss is desperate, needing to feel him against you to know he’s really there and not just a figment of your imagination

✧ he kisses you back with just as much fervor, his body pressed to yours because it’s been almost three years and he needs to feel you against him once again

✧ when you finally pull back, you aren’t crying out of overwhelming sadness and shock, you’re smiling with tears of joy in your eyes, foreheads resting against each other

✧ “i’m in love with you sebastian”

✧ “i’m in love with you too princess, but i was supposed to be the first one to say it”

✧ you laugh through your tears, holding him closer to you because he’s finally home in your arms

✧ he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you to your bedroom before laying down against the headboard with you in his arms and on his lap

✧ he peppers kisses all over your face, holding your face in his hands once again

✧ he pulls back once again, looking you up and down

✧ “you look really beautiful in my jacket princess”

✧ “i’d look good out of it too”

✧ his eyes widen before he’s flashing you that smirk that always has you swooning

✧ he promises that he’ll get you out of everything you’re wearing another day, but for now he just wants to hold you again in his arms

✧ he pulls both of your jackets off, kicking his shoes off as you take your own off, before he’s pulling you back to him

✧ you fit perfectly in his arms once again, and when he has your head resting against his chest once again, with your blanket pulled up over you two, he has to hold back tears of happiness feeling you with him once again

✧ “how about tomorrow we start planning that wedding that i missed huh?”

✧ “i knew you’d bring that up”

✧ “well i was planning on marrying you once i came back, and i still intend to”

✧ “good, i wouldn’t want anything else”

[kittylaboo]

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad  

 TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ 

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him 

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott 

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck. 

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened 

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety 

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race 

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive 

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water. 

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks 

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods 

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her 

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t 

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later 

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown 

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much 

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am” 

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.” 

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

[emiyummy]

third gym babies reacting to their sister being lesbian/bi!

pairings : elder brother!bokuto x reader , elder brother!kuroo x reader, younger brother!tsukishima x reader tw : nth except for reader isn’t straight hehe a/n : hello guys welp a lot of you might know me as a reader and this idea popped up on my mind yesterday which i shared on @dearkags and @bluberryparfait‘s discord but my brain went whoooooAT if i wrote it myself jhhshsjdh. this is my first work and i’m stil trying to figure out how tumblr works. pls dont hate i’ll cry. avoid if it makes you uncomfortable ig.

bokuto koutaro

so you’re bokuto tiny sister and you two share one braincell but you try your best not to show it bc “i’m the better sIBLING.”

at first you thought the attraction you had towards your bestie was normal but then realized “waIT whaT yall dont wanna kiss ur bff all the time??”

bokuto is dumb so he prolly didn’t notice anyth and only focused on protect (read restrict) you from the BOYs

you’re usually loud and outgoing like bokuto but when it comes to your bestie that you like more than just frEnds you get absolutely red and nervous

so you decide to go with the song challenge on tiktok where you tell the person to focus on the lyrics and whoosh

do you did it yay

and just as the music goes “i don’t wanna be your friend i wanna kiss your lips” (stan girl in red uwu) you lean in and just kiss her

she kisses back!!

and bokuto is also back!!!

he never knocks. by never i mean NEVER you gotta lock your door or oops

and your dumbass didnt

so just as the kiss was getting a lil steamy from soft

“HEY DUMBASS I NEED MY HEADPH-ooh...”

you both instantly pull away and the room is filled with silence except for the music still going 

he just stares dumbfounded like O-O

and then it hits him and he goes

“y/n you’re gay?!”

you facepalm so hard pls leave koutaro

“the term is lesbian-”

‘ I NEED TO TELL AKAASHI”

he needs to tell akaashi everything

10/10 supportive tbh but doesnt change the fact that no premarital hand h*lding  >:(

will probably hide it from your parents until you’re ready to tell then

best elder brother ever ok

kuroo tetsurou

at first he thought you just prefer being around guys more after seeing you get all wobbly and nervous when any girl gets close to you

he’s a very supportive elder brother ok so you probably try talking to him abt why you couldn’t kiss your current bf

you were just uncomfortable??

he told you he prolly wasn’t the right guy until he saw you smiling at one of his classmates as you waited for him after your classes

your eyes were just shining and it your nervousness was evident but she somehow made you noT run away ig

he was watching for a while, how you were tightly clutching onto the strap of your bag and how red your cheeks turned as she gave you a headpat before walking away

and your eyes lingered

but he decided not to say anyth that day cause he wanted you to realize and talk abt it when you’re comfortable

from that day on you waited for him (her) a lot

even ditching your classmate and shared bff at lunch one day as you sat on the bench outside beside her

kenma knew

this goes on for a while until you decide to tell him when kenma came over one day

he noticed. so he just smiles and pats your head 

“you finally admitted huh?”

your eyes widened how did he know jshjsd

“it was lowkey obvious. the guys weren’t wrong, the gender was.”

teases teases teases teases

you : literally just existing  him peeking into ur room just 2 annoy u : oya thinking abt your senpai?

they both help you prepare and confess

“you need to get it off of your chest, no matter what the outcome is.”

she accepts!!

and if your parents aren’t supportive, he will speak up and fight!!

tsukishima kei

so you’re a third year and go to a different school where you’ve been dating this girl for a while

he often saw you at the cafe near karasuno often

veeeryyyy often

with the same girl

he doesn’t pay much attention to that tbh 

but on a sunny weekend morning, he was passing by the cafe and looks at you through the window when yams says your name

you seemed stressed, kinda scared

they were planning to go to tadashi’s house and study or sumn

he comes back home to akiteru and your mom sulking in the living room

“your sister is being salty again. says she had a fight with her girlfriend and is crying upstairs.”

due to the smaller age gap comparing to akiteru, you two were kinda closer and he somehow knew that wasn’t fitting

you didn’t cry that easily.

he lets you be until he need one of your his dino manga or sth you borrowed

so he knocks on your door and you open with red puffy eyes, sniffing

he enters and decides to stay silent until you burst into tears again

he kinda stares awkwardly not knowing what to do and waits for you to calm down and start talking

as salty as you might be at times, you were extremely soft at times like your elder brother

so you tell him in the midst of sobbing

“she broke up with me. it wasn’t working out. i kinda saw it coming but it still hurt.”

only after venting you realize you never told him you were into girls, or even dating one and your eyes widened upon realization

“kei i-” “i didn’t like her anyway. she seemed too uptight and self-obsessed (hah)” “how do yo-” “i saw you at the cafe. you can get better chicks than her”

you smile and gently hit his head, telling him not to badmouth her

he doesn’t make a big deal out of it and treats it just as he would if you broke up with your boyfriend

and you’re glad that he is

won’t show it but he doesn’t want anyone to hurt his sister ok, he won’t tell you but he will fiTE

actually cares abt you

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

Writing Tips (Pt. 3): Writing Believable and shippable relationships in literature.

Hello friends! First of all, let me say a HUGE thank you for the support on the Kataang post! I worked really hard on it and it means so much to me all the little notes you give it and reblog it! I know it’s not at a huge number of notes, but I like knowing that people took time to read through the endless rant and reblog it! I’m planning on doing another full analysis on Zutara and why specifically it doesn’t work. I’ll make it respectful though as I know that a lot of Kataang fans are REALLY defensive and anti-zutara. I promise I’m not one of those people, and believe that no matter who you ship, your opinions on fictional characters are your opinions and you are FULLY entitled to ship and like whatever you want (as long as it’s not incest or a huge age gap. PLEASE don’t ship that stuff lol. U nasty mfs know who u are.) Speaking of ships, let’s talk about writing them. Writing ships for movies, books, shows, etc. can be surprisingly hard. Writing characters themselves can be hard enough as it is, but writing a pair of characters that fit together like a puzzle piece can feel impossible. Nevertheless, I’m here to make that process a little bit easier. When I’m trying to set up a relationship that’s going to happen, here are some things that I keep in mind to make sure that I and the audience of my writing  ship the characters I have end up together. 

DISCLAIMER before I get a’rantin: I am by NO means telling you how or what to write and am by NO means a professional writer of any sorts. I’m doing this mostly because I write a lot and speak from my own personal experiences with writing and because these are just the things that I found work best when writing my own stories. I also read and analyze a lot of others work on my own personal time, and these are just the details that I pick up on that I find makes a piece of writing effective. With that in mind, remember that writing is and art form, and the beauty of that is that there’s no one right way to do it. Ever. You can read the same thing as another person and interpret it in a completely different and unique way. 

1. Complementary Characters usually work out best. 

This is more than the classic “opposite’s attract” theory, and characters don’t necessarily have to be opposite to be complementary. Some things to think about when thinking of and writing complementary characters:

-Complementary doesn’t necessarily mean complete opposite in every single way. Often times I find it much more helpful to have characters share a common interest in hobbies, upbringing, childhood trauma (that one’s a bit overdone these days), etc. so that they’re not butting heads all the time. Just like yin and yang, theres a bit of darkness in the light and vice versa. To keep the balance harmonious, you can’t have characters be polar opposites and have no common ground. That leads to what many people consider a toxic ship, and will either lead to an unrealistic balance that inevitably leads your characters to be fighting all the time. 

-Keeping common interests in mind, often times the paces where character’s contrast is in their personalities. (Shy and bold, heart and head, bubbly and brooding, quiet and gregarious, etc.) Different personalities often are able to balance each other out and hold each other accountable for their weaknesses.

-Going off of that, one character’s strength is another’s weakness, and all traits are both. A character’s empathy can lead them to be loved by many, but may cause them to starve themselves and drain their cup so there’s none left to take care of themselves. A character’s logic may lend them top of class or calm in stressful situations, but can lead them to be insensitive to others and even their own emotions. Your characters should balance each other out and work well together, and part of this is helping each other grow from their weakness. 

-This one isn't as important, but what I also find super compelling, especially in film and tv shows is when the authors/writers deliberately choose to give the characters complementary color palettes. (I dove more into this on my Kataang analysis so go read that if you’re super interested.) If the character’s look ascetically pleasing together, it makes shipping them a whole lot easier. Focus on orange and blue, yellow and purple, red and green, and any variation of those colors together. 

2. Buildup

Often times one of the biggest critiques of ships that just don’t work out is that there’s not enough buildup or foundation to have a romantic relationship. It seems obvious, but if you’re going to have them end up together, there’s going to need to be some buildup or else the entire relationship will feel wrong and contrived no matter how pleasant you make it. 

Some tips for increasing and establishing buildup:

-Have your otp spend time together as friends first. I personally find that the healthiest and most successful ships are friends before they’re lovers. This is why Kataang specifically works so well, but Korrasami, Romionie, and Liesel and Rudy from the Book Thief are all good examples. If you observe these ships, all of these characters spend time together as friends first. Korra and Asami were able to bond and become friends over a toxic guy (cough cough MAKO) and eventually developed feelings for one another. Ron and Hermione weren’t romantically interested in other people and were friends until they started seeing other people and found out they liked each other. Liesel and Rudy were best friends before anything else and Liesel didn’t realize her feelings until it was too late. 

-Time together. When your otp spends time together, make sure that whatever time is being spent together is time that they both enjoy. No, the activity itself doesn’t have to be enjoyable to both characters, but the time spent together should be. If the characters really aren’t enjoying the time spent together, then it’s never gonna work out. I’ll use the ship that I’m writing as an example. Currently, I’m in the process of writing a third atlas series and we’ll use my characters Liang and Hana. (Yea I used my own name for one of my characters. I think it suits her bc she’s basically my clone, just, she’s the avatar. I’m going to change both of their names once I do more research and can find culturally and historically accurate names.) Liang REALLY loves pro-bending matches. Hana, not so much. She still goes with him to see matches and attends his matches when she can. On the flip side, Hana really loves going to her favorite tea shop. Liang vastly prefers a strong cup of coffee, but he goes with her anyways. Why would they choose to do something that they don’t necessarily like? Because that’s more quality time spent with each other and doing something for the other person. 

3. Romantic Gestures

Going off of my last point, we have the art of romantic gestures. These can range to things anywhere from a hug, to an elaborate firework display, to a locket with both of their pictures in it. Make sure that the romantic gestures are there! It’s gotta be clear that both characters are thinking about one another and consciously choose to do something for the other person. Here are some fun ways to do it:

-Remembering a gift the other character wanted. This one’s cliche but it works, because often times the best way to show affection is through physical gifts and objects. Think coffee from a favorite shop, handwritten notes, that piece of clothing the other has been eyeing, etc. 

-~symbolism~ *add chime here* By that I mean have an object to symbolize their relationship with, like Korrasami’s iconic hair pin or Liesel’s book that Rudy retrieved for her. This way, the readers not only have a visual representation of their favorite ships, but the object can physically link characters together and make a vague relationship full cannon. (I know for sure that someday when I get a tattoo, I want the hairpin tattooed on my wrist, ankle or side of my body.) 

-PDAs. Works best in film and visual stuff, but still applies for everything. I’m talking cuddles, kisses, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the whole shebang. I mean how much clearer can you make it than a pda?

-Love languages. Each person loves in their own unique way. Have characters figure out and learn each other’s love language. It really shows and adds a whole other layer to the cake. This one can make a ship that feels a little bland have more depth and realism, because in the real world, healthy relationships are formed and aided by learning and applying each other’s love language. 

4. Dialogue. This one can be hard to master, but once you do, it’s a breeze. First off, I recommend getting all your ideas out, and editing. DON’T EDIT AS YOU GO! This is often tedious and super annoying, so get everything out first, and go from there once you have a decent amount to work with. Dialogue is tricky, because dialogue in and of itself is meant to communicate and express feelings. Here are some tips and steps to at least get a start: 

a. Know EXACTLY how your characters feel about one another, and make that evident through communication. It seems obvious (again) but this really helps and I find that putting myself in the character’s shoes for a second and really thinking about it helps to decide exactly what they would say in a given situation, especially if the scene you’re writing involves confrontation about feelings for one another. 

b. Dialogue is more than just talking. Body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. are all part of dialogue too and are SUPER important! In the real world, humans communicate through more than just words, and sometimes a playful grin, grimace, crossed arms, or pout is much more effective than a character outright saying something. 

c. Once you’ve written the dialogue out, be concise and smart about your dialogue and pare it down as much as you can. Often times, adding too much dialogue can make a scene boring and flat. Use your words sparingly! The purpose of writing is to covey a story or message and often times this can be done effectively with less words rather than more. The main point in dialogue itself is to provide necessary context and information. Otherwise, don’t use it.

d. Make sure the conversation is two sided. This (say it with me now) SEEMS OBVIOUS, but make sure that both people are talking/communicating. it’s a conversation, not a speech. (Unless it is a speech or declaration of some sort.)

Before I go: A QUICK (Long) PSA ON TOXIC SHIPS: 

The concept of a toxic ship is very common in a lot of literature. Often times writers choose to include elements that may be toxic to heighten romantic tension in a story. While I do recognize that this sometimes may be a stylistic choice, there are MUCH better and effective ways to create tension that having something be toxic. Toxic relationships in my opinion share one purpose, and that is to establish a relationship’s toxicity and ineffectiveness. I don’t recommend writing these into a story unless it’s an obstacle for your characters to overcome, and having a character forgive the toxic actions of another character and still end up with them isn’t the right move because it completely disregards and diminishes the effects of what happened previously.

One of the best examples I can think of is Reylo from the new sw trilogy. I did touch on this briefly in a couple of my earlier posts (The Effect Of Modern Day SW characters and My Tips for Writing (In General) which I highly suggest you go read bc they both took me a bit of time and state the purpose more in depth) but I think I’ll quick reiterate and say that it wasn’t a good choice on the writer’s part to have some of the dialogue be so intense and vicious and then have them end up together. I still like the idea of Ben Solo and Rey together and ship them together out of cannon, but in cannon, it’s the perfect example of an ineffective ship. There was little to no build up, the dialogue was often spiteful and sharp, and it escalated a bit too quickly. I would’ve liked to see more of Ben Solo (NOT Kylo) and him feeling sorry for and repenting for the bad that he’s done before he and Rey end up together. Yes, we’re all suckers for the enemies to lovers trope, but PLEASE make sure to filter out the toxins before boarding your ships and watching them sail. 

That’s it for now! I hope this helps a little when writing shippable characters! I’m always free to rant to and to critique. I’m going to start posting as much as I can, because these guides help me too! Check out my other ones if you’d like to know tips for writing in general and I made another one on how to write characters. 

[trensu]

Episode 19: The One with the Return of the Gay Yearning Death Grip, Now with More Sword!

After enduring EXTREME EMOTIONAL TRAUMA for the last THREE (3) EPISODES IN A ROW, we finally finally get an episode that has some wangxiantics again!!

I mean, they’re still gonna gut us emotionally here too but we can pretend it hurts less because of our brief wangxian moments!!!

Because this is the episode with the BURIAL MOUNDS

*cries*

Alright so golden core transfer Happened. 

Review: wwx is now weaponless, penniless, golden core-less, and alone

Except jk, he’s actually surrounded by wen flunkies, so not alone! Worse than alone!!

And we all know our beloved wwx has the survival instincts of a lemming so instead of you know, keeping his mouth shut for once in his life, he decides to mock and insult wen chao and his flunkies.

WC decides to take wwx on Evil Field Trip Part 2: Burial Mounds Edition and has wen zhuliu freaking drop-kick wwx into the cursed place

Oh, hello, Bad CGI, nice to see you again!

And here we have the Return of the Screams bc apparently wwx decided to keep the Screaming Sword of Resentment in his magic pouch??

Good thing he did, i guess?? Bc the Screams summon up some resentful energy that helps him survive the fall

We cut away a moment here to see our beloved wen sibs and we are sad bc they are locked up MOVING ON

Wwx is all alone in this awful place covered in dead things and lacking sunlight, THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF OUR PRECIOUS, LIVELY, SUNSHINE BOY

It’s terrible but we’re getting a piece of wangxian pie here (a tiny one)

So the Screams are still happening, and our wwx is collapsed on the ground not responding to any of them.

They’re all shouting “wei wuxian, wei wuxian” 

And still our precious sunshine boy lies there limp and exhausted

BUT SUDDENLY

AMIDST ALL THE SHOUTS

We hear a calm,soothing voice call “wei ying”

Wwx finally moves. He sits up and starts looking around for the source of that voice

BECAUSE THAT WAS LAN ZHAN’S VOICE

THAT WAS LAN ZHAN’S VOICE GENTLY CALLING “WEI YING” THREE TIMES

THREE!!! TIMES!!!!

And it’s so sad bc for a moment there wwx hears the voice and must think that lwj is there with him, there to rescue him!!

But he isn’t *cries* he’s not there and wwx just looks so lost and scared here *cries HARDER*

Instead of lwj, wwx finds the Screaming Sword of Resentment that legit says to him, “wwx, do you want revenge? Let’s be together.”

And, idk guys, swords that talk to you about revenge don’t seem like, the kind of swords you wanna be touching.

But wwx decides to become besties with it, i guess, and grabs it. 

The look of triumph on his face after he accepts the swords offer is really cool if you ignore how UTTERLY DISTRESSING the whole situation is

AND HERE’S THE SCENE WHERE LWJ MAKES THE MOST BADASS ENTRANCE.

YOU THOUGHT THE THING WITH THE ROOFTOP BACK IN "THE ONE WITH THE ICONIC REUNION” WAS COOL?? THIS ONE TOPS IT.

To set the scene: we’re at Qishan where Evil Summer School took place and a bunch of wen flunkies are getting drunk and bragging about their evil deeds bc why not

And then we get a shot of white shoes (boots?? Idk) slowly walking up the steps of the evil staircase

And then the camera gives us a shot at the top of the staircase and we see LWJ clad in all white in a bitchin’ new robe, slowly appear into view, rising a little more with each step he takes up the stairs and the wind is providing ambiance by swishing elegantly through his hair

As that is happening, we see the blue flash of power that shows up whenever lwj uses his guqin and it knocks the wen flunkies down on their backs BC FUCK YOU WEN FLUNKIES

We go back to lwj, and get a closer look at his face. His face is blank and hard as a stone, and he keeps going at this unhurried, unbothered pace

Bc he knows

HE KNOWS

He’s gonna get what he wants here and now, one way or another. And what he wants is information about wei ying.

CHILLS, GUYS, THIS SCENE GIVES ME CHILLS IN THE BEST WAY

THE MOST BADASS ENTRANCE IN THE SHOW

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

So after he guqin’s the wen flunkies down (and they start cowering) he towers over them all imperiously

Lwj: Kneel

(so commanding, his tone. I know at least some of you guys Felt Things at that)

(guys, I've been on ao3, I'VE SEEN YOUR TAGS, don’t try to deny it, you kinky bastards)

(It's okay, this is a no judgement zone, and lwj is looking hella sharp in his new outfit, I get it)

Lwj: where is wei ying

(so unyielding, so demanding, but not once does he raise his voice, what a BAMF)

The wen flunkie that lwj had been kinda choking with guqin magic raises his hand (lol, this isn’t a classroom pal)

Lwj: Speak.

And the wen flunkie informs him (and JC, who showed up at some point but whatev) that they dumped WWX in the Burial Mounds

Lwj, our precious darling lwj, we know he doesn’t have the most expressive of faces, right? But the way his face tilts ever so slightly downwards at the news, you can tell, you can tell, that he was hit with that sick, cold, sinking feeling in the stomach

Kneel. Where is Wei Ying. Speak. THAT'S ALL HE SAID IN THE WHOLE SCENE AND YET HE HAD EVERYONE CAPTIVATED (and Thirsty, in some cases, it's all good, it's all good)

After all that awesome, we are forced to watch wc and jj have a domestic spat of some sort AS IF WE’RE SUPPOSED TO CARE. WE’RE GONNA IGNORE IT BC FUCK THOSE GUYS

We’re back at Evil Summer School in Qishan, and we’ve got JC and LWJ doing that thing where they stare manfully at the mid-distance and talk about vaguely Feelings-related Stuff

WuJi starts playing in the background as JC tells LWJ about how WWX was supposed to meet up with him at Yiling and never showed up; i thought he went after you, he says, but maybe the wens really did dump him in the burial mounds

And the music freaking crescendos here bc some lan disciples show up with everyone’s swords but most importantly THEY HAVE SUIBIAN which they bring to lwj directly

Makes you wonder, huh. Why did they bring suibian to lwj when jc, wwx’s brother, was right there??

PROBS BC THE LAN DISCIPLES HAVE BEEN WITH LWJ AND JC THE WHOLE TIME AND REALIZED THAT LWJ IS IN LOVE WITH WWX BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE SEARCHING SO OBSESSIVELY

LWJ’s eyes widen just a fraction the minute he sees suibian

HIS SOULMATE’S SWORD

IT’S ALL HE HAS LEFT OF WEI YING RIGHT NOW

JUST LIKE BEFORE WHEN ALL HE HAD LEFT OF HIS HOME WAS BICHEN

STOP LEAVING LWJ WITH JUST SWORDS, LET HIM HAVE HIS LOVED ONES!!!

And god the way he GRIPS it with YEARNING.

All of his motions are still very sedate, but just the microexpressions we’re getting from him change the tone of the movements

Wang yibo - guys, idk much about any of the actors but this guy does a great job. Like, how does he make such emotional expressions when his actual face hardly moves??? WITCHCRAFT, I TELL YOU, WITCHCRAFT

Lwj tries to unsheathe the sword but here we find the Suibian has sealed itself (bc he’s a loyal sword; he aint cheating on his master with no one!)

Lwj: wei ying, where are you

Such quality Lwj Yearning™

And then we get interrupted by Plot Things again, ugh

Blah blah we’re at qinghe blah blah we meet jzx's asshole cousin and hate him blah blah

Lwj and JC show up at qinghe and interrupt jzx’s Disaster Het shenanigans (thank god)

Jiang sibs have a reunion while jzx and lwj stand awkwardly at the side

Lwj sees that display of Emotion and is like, nope, that is Too Much, i’m gonna distract myself by staring at this disembodied head hanging at the entrance

(he’s already in emotional turmoil bc his soulmate is missing, he cannot handle anything more than that!!)

Idk why by jzx decides to join him

Jzx: hey, that’s wwx’s sword! Did you…

Lwj: *Death Grips bichen AND suibian with Extra Yearning™*  

Lwj: evil summer school has been burned

SUBTLE CHANGE OF TOPIC THERE, LWJ

Also, c’mon jzx, LWJ IS NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT OR ACKNOWLEDGE ANY MORE FEELINGS RIGHT NOW OKAY

Jzx goes off to talk about something unimportant and lwj is like phew, dodged a bullet there

Except, JUST KIDDING

Jzx: soooo, where’s wwx? I need to return his sister to him

Lwj: *stoically silent*

Lwj: *refuses to look at jzx*

Lwj: *gives off major I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT vibes*

Jzx: *doesn’t take a hint*

Jzx: yeah, so where is he??

READ THE ROOM, JZX

Idiots, we’re surrounded by emotionally incompetent idiots

Lwj doesn’t react until he hears jyl softly gasp when jc updates her and even then, it’s only to just briefly glance in her general direction

OUR BOY IS HURTING, POOR LWJ

And now we’re back to Plot Things

Blah blah battle strategy blah blah nmj looks imposing blah blah baxia does a thing blah blah

Jzx: yeah, so we’re doing great, we just gotta take back gusu and yiling now

Lwj: I volunteer AS TRIBUTE for the mission in Yiling

Jc: dude, SAME, plz red blade master, let us go there

Nmj: uh, idk guys, that’s right next to the wen’s stronghold…

Lwj; red blade master…

Nmj: yeah, okay, fine

Wow, capitulated pretty easily there, pal. Thought you were supposed to be a tough guy, nmj…

We get a jiang sib moment

With soup, ofc

Ooooh, now we get to watch jj have a mental break AND IT’S GLORIOUS

Disembodied eyeballs!! How fun!

And that’s the end of that episode!!

Oh god, i’m so glad we finally got some wangxiantics. Like, not a lot of them, and they didn’t share screentime BUT THEY WERE STILL VERY EMOTIONAL WANGXIANTICS

THEY MISS EACH OTHER SO MUCH *SOBS*

Return to Masterpost

[nox-bones]

Little bit of a rant here..might put under read more bc idk how long it’ll be. Gonna be mentions of covid-19 *no one has it just mentioning it* but yeah. Just having a lot of anxiety about shit and I need to vent it out.

So Tuesday morning I got an email from my boss asking for my new availability so they can start making up schedules for all the therapists (and I’m assuming front desk too) when we re-open, so that we get the most optimized schedule that’s as fully booked as possible.

The problem is. We don’t know when we’re gonna be able to re-open - Originally they slated April 17 (so this Friday) to open back up, and now they’ve pushed it to April 26 (which, okay, but Florida is under a stay at home order until April 30th soooooo idk wtf they think about opening before that but okay).

The othe problem is - THERE STILL ISNT A FUCKING VACCINE FOR THIS STUPID CORONAVIRUS BULLSHIT!! WHY!! THE FUCK!!! WOULD YOU!! RE OPEN A CLINIC!!! OF MASSAGE THERAPISTS AND ESTHETICIANS!!! TO THE PUBLIC!!! WHILE THERE IS NO FUCKING VACCINE ?!?!!?!?!?

Like I get we can clean, wipe down, sanitize, and all that mumbo jumbo but none of us truly KNOWS where these clients are coming from, who they’ve been around, if they’re sick or not (they may not even know themselves), how often they wash their hands or keep up general cleanliness, etc. WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEIR HABITS AND WHERE THEY’VE BEEN.

WHY would you fucking RISK the lives of (a) your employees, (b) your clients, and (c) everyone’s family and friends who end up getting exposed to all the above?!?!! Like I know businesses really only give a fucking fuck about money and profit and shit, but peoples’ LIVES are fucking more important than your goddamn business. 

I am so fucking sick of how society runs with business. Money is NOT everything. I know we need it to do things and have homes and food and shit, but I for one am not gonna risk my fucking life or anyone else’s lives for money. I’ll find some other remote fucking job where I don’t have to be around people and possibly contract the virus.

It’s not to say that our clinic WILL open in April - we might not even open again for another year depending on how everything goes, but I’ve made up my mind to just...not go back. 

I’ve wanted to quit for a while, long before this pandemic even started. I want to move on with my life, and move out of Florida, and finally start living the life that I want to live. This pandemic has given me the opportunity to do just that (minus the moving bc gotta wait until after vaccinations start happening and it’s safe again), and I am gonna grill myself so hard to get a new remote job (it might take a while, but I’m determined to get something going for myself because I need to get OUT asap).

I’m supposed to be having a call or conversation sometime later today (thursday - it’s currently 5 AM that I’m writing this...and they want the schedule by 3pm...but I probably won’t wake up until 2pm lol). I am prepared to have “the talk” with them about not returning when we re-open (especially if we re-open before a vaccine is released bc I am just not willing to risk it). I might share my sentiments about it (in a professional calm manner), but ultimately I have decided to quit my job.

I’m finally gonna file for unemployment (god that took fucking forever but I’m gonna be mailing it out either this weekend or monday). I also just got the $1200 stimulus check, and I still need to file my taxes, so I’ll have some money for a little bit to hold me over and save on, but I do need to find a remote job either part time or full time so I can get myself out of Florida when the time comes.

But when I read that email from my boss, I had such a horrible anxiety attack. I was not prepared in the least to hear that we may be re-opening in the next few weeks, and that they want a new availability. I haven’t had a chance to think about work because I’ve been dealing with a bunch of other bs. :/

Now suddenly it’s in my face, and we only had 2 days notice? I mean, I understand if my boss only had a 2 day notice, but the people above them shouldn’t fucking plan so horribly. 2 days to figure out what everyone wants to do is not enough time. Even if I was gonna go back to work for them, it took me a whole fucking month to figure out what I wanted my full time schedule to be...how do you expect me to do it in less than 2 days?!?!

I’m just so irritated, frustrated, stressed, anxiety-ridden, and I just can’t handle it. I mean, I will handle it and I’m doing my best, but it’s fucking hard and I don’t talk about it enough about how much I’m struggling emoitonally/mentally with everything. I’m no good at telling people how I really feel. I never have been (I mean, I type up posts and shit but that’s different than directly talking to someone). I’m not gonna say it outright, but that thing that depression often leads to when someone is at their point of no return...yeah..I’ve been down here for a while and fighting back and forth. I’ve been pushing through, and I think I’ll be able to keep fighting it and pushing myself, but it’s still there in the background of my thoughts. I think about it a lot now.

Sigh T_T :(

I think I’m done ranting now. I don’t know if I feel better or not, but eh.

I think the only things that will suck about not returning to my current workplace is not seeing my coworkers again, and not seeing my regular clients (who I’ve seen for the past 3 1/2 years) again :/ but sometimes that’s how life is I guess...

let’s see if I get any sleep today ;--;

[hangjie]

speak now. [ finn wolfhard ]

anonymous: hey, could i request a finn w. x reader based off of taylor swifts song called 'speak now' ? <3 thank u

summary: aged up!finn is getting married to someone horrible

warnings: swearing and arranged marriages

word count: -

author’s note: oof this song brings me back to when i was 9 years old HAHAHAHAH. literally thought of doing this as a present day!finn going on a date instead of aged up!finn’s wedding lmao. this is so bad and took me so long to write oof i’m sorry, anon ;(( 

not a traditional wedding in a church, but the wedding takes place in the backyard of finn’s house btw! (i didn’t use a gif of finn bc it weirded me out that i was writing a imagine about an aged up 16 year old’s wedding heheheheh sorrry)

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

i am not the kind of girl

who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion,

but you are not the kind of boy

who should be marryin' the wrong girl.

never in my life have i seen a situation where someone barges in someone else’s wedding. i’ve only seen those in movies, never in real life.

who knew that i would be that person barging in on my boyfriend’s wedding.

it sounds messed up, i know, but to make the long story short, finn’s manager forced him to marry the girl he’s been dating for publicity.

fucked up, right? but it’s not my choice and his manager threatened him if he didn’t do it.

i should remind finn to get himself a new manager next time.

so, here i am, outside of finn’s room, where he is preparing for his big day. i take a deep breath before i knock on the door softly. seconds later, finn’s head pops out and his eyes brighten when he sees me.

after he lets me in, i am immediately engulfed in a tight hug. i sigh and wrap my arms around his torso as his arms circle my waist. i breathe in his scent and i feel my eyes water as the thought of someone else in his arms comes into my mind.

when we pull away from each other, his hands cups my cheek, brushing away the tears that have escaped my eye using his thumb. “don’t cry, (y/n).”

“how can i when my boyfriend marrying someone else?” i sob.

“(y/n), you know that i have no choice and this isn’t my decision.”

“but still, you’re marrying her.”

finn presses his forehead against mine and brings our bodies closer, his brown eyes staring right into my (y/e/c) ones.

“but i love you, not her.” i take a deep breath, closing my eyes. when i open them, there are tears brimming in both of our eyes.

the moment between us is broken when a knock is heard on his door.

“finn?” i hear the voice of his mom from the other side of the door. our faces turn pale and he pushes me into his closet when the door knob starts turning. i manage to get into the closet before his mom enters the room, making me sigh in relief.

“are you ready?”

i open the closet the tiniest bit, enough for me to be able to see what’s happening outside. i see him sigh in relief when his mom doesn’t notice that i’ve been in the room.

his mom approaches him, a sad smile playing on her lips. “my boy is getting married.” she approaches him and fixes his tie and collar with teary eyes. finn looks down at the ground, sadly. his mom places her hand on his cheek, making him lean into her touch. “i know that you want her to be (y/n), but if you both really love each other, you both have to be patient.” finn’s mom wraps her arms around his shoulders, bringing him into a comforting hug.

“we’ll break our contract soon. don’t worry.”

she kisses his forehead before reminding him to be ready soon and leaving the room.

as soon as finn’s mom is gone, i come out of the closet and place my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. he looks down at me sadly before wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

“i wish it was you up on that altar,” he says against my hair. i press my ear against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. “soon, my love. it’ll be me as soon as your contract breaks.”

when he pulls away, he presses a loving yet passionste kiss. i feel my tears slip from my eye and roll down my cheeks.

we pull away from each other and i quietly say, “i love you. i’ll be back soon,” before leaving his room.

i sneak in and see your friends

and her snotty little family, all dressed in pastel

and she is yelling at a bridesmaid,

somewhere back inside a room,

wearing a gown shaped like a pastry.

as i walk through the hallway of finn’s house, i hear yells and the sound of glass breaking from a nearby room, sparking my curiosity.

i walk towards the direction of the room and peek through the small crack of the door. before i could open it and ask the person if they’re okay, i notice the puffy white dress and the blonde mop of hair wearing a long veil.

i back away from the door and lean against the wall beside the door frame, making sure that nobody inside the room saw me from outside.

“what the hell is this?! you call this a fucking braid?” i hear the voice of finn’s ‘bride to be’, mackenzie (a/n: i literally just googled ‘most hated girl names’ okay don’t come for me hdsjsksksj). before anyone could answer her, i hear glass shattering, making the hairs on my neck stand in fear that she hurted someone.

i peek in and see one of her bridesmaids looking at her apologetically, picking up the shards of glass from the ground as mackenzie towers over her, fuming with rage.

mackenzie opens her mouth to shout more at her bridesmaid, but gets cut off by her mother who was dressed in a pastel green dress.

oh Lord, help me.

“mackenzie, that’s enough. you don’t want to waste all your energy on something useless.” she rolls her eyes at the bridesmaid whose eyes were glassy because of her incoming tears.

“but mom, she’s ruining my wedding—“ her mom sends her a look of impatience and annoyance, making her shut up.

her mom approaches her and fixes the veil on her head. “shush now, child. you don’t want that your groom to hear your tantrum now, do you?” mackenzie snickers mockingly. “why would i care for that ‘wolfhard’ boy, mom? i don’t even love him.”

“yes, but he has money and fame, mackenzie. you do want to become famous, don’t you?”

i can feel my blood boiling inside of me and i try my best not to barge in and slap mackenzie and her mother.

mackenzie nods and says, “yes, my dreams of being a celebrity are getting closer and it’s all thanks to you, mom.” she embraces her mother in a hug and manages to despite her wedding dress getting in the way. “i’m glad that you slept with his manager, mom.”

no fucking wonder.

i take a deep breath, letting myself calm down before i walk away from the scene.

like what mackenzie’s mom said, ‘you don’t want to waste your energy on something useless.’

i continue to walk through the hallway, mumbling profanities and stomping in anger from the scene between mackenzie and her mom. i forgot about my plan of keeping a low profile until i hear someone call me from behind.

“(y/n)? is that you?” i turn around and come face-to-face with nick, finn’s older brother. i run to nick and immediately wrap my arms around his torso, him returning the gesture.

“nick, i cannot take it anymore. i don’t want finn to marry that bitch,” i say against his chest. i feel him stroking my hair in comfort and shushing me.

“it’s okay, (y/n).”

“no. it’s not okay, nick! finn is going to marry that bitch face, mackenzie and i can’t do anything about it.” i cry against his chest, possibly making his suit damp with my tears, but neither of us cared.

we continue like that until we hear the voice of finn and nick’s mom call for him and that the wedding is about to start. “shit,” he curses under his breath. “i gotta go, (y/n),” nick sadly says. we pull away from each other and bid each other goodbye.

before nick could disappear downstairs, he turns back to me and says, “i really wish that you were the one up on the altar.”

i smile sadly at him and say, “that’s what finn also said.” nick returns the sad smile and goes downstairs, leaving me standing in the hallway with a million thoughts running inside my head.

fond gestures are exchanged

and the organ starts to play

a song that sounds like a death march

and i am hiding in the curtains

it seems i was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be.

she floats down the aisle like a pageant queen,

but i know you wish it was me.

you wish it was me, don't you?

it took me a while to decide whether or not to stay at the wedding and in the end, i hid myself behind some bushes in finn’s backyard. thankfully, nobody noticed me sneaking in and the bushes are large enough to cover me.

the sound of an organ playing ‘here comes the bride’, convinces me to peek from the side and i see mackenzie and her father starting to walk down the aisle.

she sways her non-existent hips from side to side and unlike the traditional slow walk, she rushes towards finn who looks at her with distress.

i gag at the sight of her winking at finn and just the sight of her so called ‘acting’ alone makes me want to bash my head with a fucking rock.

i can see tears rolling down the cheeks of finn as he stares at mackenzie who is smiling from ear to ear and my heart aches, knowing that he’s imaging that it’s me instead of her, but instead, i’m here, hiding behind a bunch of bushes.

“my dear friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between finn wolfhard and mackenzie williams.”

this is going to be a long day.

i hear the preacher say,

"speak now or forever hold your peace.”

there's a silence, there's my last chance.

i stand up with shaking hands.

all eyes on me.

after an hour and a half, the wedding is nearing to an end. i can feel my heart racing as the ‘speak now’ part of the wedding nears.

“if anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace. any reason any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now,” the preacher says (a/n: i don’t know if this is the actual line in a wedding bc i’ve literally only been to two weddings).

this is it. this is my chance.

i begin to stand up and right before i could speak up, mackenzie says, “oh, look. no one’s objecting. come on, let’s get on with the wedding—“

“i object!”

horrified looks from everyone in the room,

but i’m only lookin' at you.

everyone’s attention turns to me and most of the guests have surprised looks on their faces. well, at least, in mackenzie’s side.

my eyes scan the faces of finn’s family and friends are most of them are smiling in relief and are quietly cheering me on, motivating me.

i take a deep breath before i say, “that’s my boyfriend! mackenzie is only marrying finn for fame and money and his manager only allowed this to happen because he slept with mackenzie’s mom!” everyone gasps and flickers their gazes between mackenzie and her family.

mackenzie screams and throws her bouquet of flowers on the ground, shouting, “fucking bitch! you ruined my goddamn wedding!” her face is red with anger and starts throwing more insults and cusses at me, but everything is a blur to me because i’m only focused on finn.

finn sighs in relief and looks at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes.

my thoughts are interrupted when finn grabs my wrist and drags me away from his backyard and out of his house.

we are giggling like children and he stops in front of his car, digging his pocket for his keys. once he finds them, he opens the car door on my side and lets me in. he goes around the car and slides in, turning the car engine on.

“finn, where are we going?” i ask, turning towards him. he only smiles and says, “far away,” before driving out of town.

and you say, "let's run away now.

i’ll meet you when i’m out of my tux at the back door.

oh baby, i didn't say my vow.

so glad you were around when they said, "speak now.”

the sea breeze fans my face and cools my heated body as the rays of the sun illuminate the sea waves from below the cliff.

i readjust my position on the hood of finn’s car and i lean my head against his shoulder, snuggling closer to him as his arm wraps around my body tightly.

“i’m so glad that you got me out of that hell hole,” finn says, making the both of us chuckle. “of course. i couldn’t let you get married to that witch of a bride.”

“yeah. i can’t even stand being a few feet away from her. let alone marry her.”

“it’s a shame that you wasted a pretty good suit though,” i say, fixing his collar.

“who said that i was going to put this to waste?”

i look at him in confusion until finn gets down on one knee in front of me and pulls out a ring from his pocket.

“(y/n), i know that we literally just ran away from a wedding and i know that you’re tired with all the wedding bullshit, but i nearly got married off to someone else and i couldn’t help but see you as my bride, not mackenzie.” tears prickle my eyes and start rolling down my cheeks. “(y/n), i love you so damn much and i want to be with you forever. so, will you do the honor of making me the happiest man on earth and become my wife?”

i jump down from the hood of his car and hug him, shouting “yes!” repeatedly. finn chuckles, sending vibrations between us.

when we pull away from each other, he slips the ring into my finger, letting it shine and sparkle in the sunlight.

finn places a hand on my cheek, making me lean into his touch. he smiles at me and says, “i’m so glad you were around when they said “speak now”.”

“stop quoting taylor swift and just kiss me already.”

finn chuckles and doesn’t waste a second pressing his lips against mine.

MASTERLIST

[juupajaa]

🌋Acts for change:

I chose the erupting volcano for this bc honestly that’s pretty much exactly what this stage is all about. This is the most difficult stage in eds, but also the stage that has the most powerful emotions and biggest character growth. It’s do or die and it’s ugly as hell, but we’re so close to being in the clear, we can’t lie down yet!

Ok it’s time to start a war lads. Acts for change is the worst when you’re in it, but afterwards it will feel like the most badass thing you’ve ever done. 

You’re ready to fight back and it’s time to take all those emotions you’ve been shoving under your pillow ever since things first started to go bad and you gotta take them out, and pour some gasoline on them, because we need to burn through all of it before this shit can stop. Acts for change is all about doing things you hate, fear and loathe. You’re going to go through a lot of shame, guilt, sadness, fear, anger, confusion, disgust, discomfort, anxiety yada yada yada. Just every nasty feeling you can imagine, you probably will go through it during this stage.

Depending on how long you’ve been stuck with your ed or how thoroughly the disordered thought patterns have infiltrated every corner of your mind, this part might be relatively easy or near impossible. For some, this part doesn’t need much, just some positive encouragement and a good enough lure at the end. For example, once you’ve pushed yourself out of hope for change and into this stage, you might have been building up a lot of willpower, and your life isn’t at a crumbling point. Maybe you know that something good is going to happen and you are extra motivated to recover for the sake of it. 

For others, their life still isn’t looking great and they’ve just barely made it into the acts for change by fear or pressure alone. In such a case, the workload can become overwhelming, and especially since there isn’t “much to look forward to” recovery doesn’t seem very appealing all the time. Needless to say, it is important to establish some sort of a dream for yourself. Anything to look forward to and fight for.

No matter the situation, everyone goes through some horrible days or even weeks during this stage and in general, you might be extremely confused by your mind, since it can pretty much turn upside down in an instant. One moment you’re full of might and you’re eager to get better, the next you’re regretting every step you’ve taken away from your ed. You’re going to be very moody, scared and irritated and that’s normal and everyone has to understand that you’re not yourself right now. Your mind is splitting in two and you’re constantly working extremely hard to save your life. Here are some thoughts you might be going back and forth with:

This is too hard, I will never succeed at this VS I can do this, I’m already doing so much

I wish I could go back to my ed VS I don’t ever want to go back to my ed

I am going to regret this so much VS I will never look back once I get out of this mess

I must have been faking the whole thing VS I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be fighting this hard if I had faked it

There’s nothing wrong with me, I should stop wasting everyone’s time VS I’m still very much ill and I am where I should be

Sometimes you don’t win this war and you relapse. It happens, but it doesn’t have to mean you sink back into the bottom. You can always climb back up to where you were, and every time you come here, you are smarter and stronger. If you do get overwhelmed and resort to going back a few stages, you can climb back up the same way you did earlier. Never think that you can’t climb back up here if you fall down. 

This stage requires you to face your fears and it isn’t easy. You can’t get it right on the first try, you’re bound to fail here and there, everyone does, but you have to make sure you keep your eyes to the future, rather than the past. Here are some things you might want to try/focus on during this stage:

Proper nutrition: the easiest way to do this is to get on a meal plan. You can find normal meal plans online. What you want to aim for is regular meals with enough nutrition to keep you healthy. This stage requires a lot of mental willpower and strength from you and you simply can’t beat this without being properly fed. It is such a bitch, because your relationship with food won’t get fixed without you eating normally. It sucks, it’s the worst, but honestly, try to imagine food is your medicine. You can hate it as much as you do, but you have to take it in order to get better.

Keeping external stress at bay: You are already under a lot of stress. If it’s at all possible, put a halt to most of your life. Ideally you could literally not think about anything but getting better for a few months, but that isn’t possible for many, so doing what you can and getting the help you can is a must. If there’s responsibilities you don’t have the energy to do, see if you can’t get someone to help you with them for some time. Keep your screen time very controlled, don’t let yourself see or hear anything that might upset you or make you feel more negative emotions. Surround yourself with things you like and things that make you calm.

Establish a dream, goal, or a future you’re working towards: I already touched on this briefly, but basically, you’ll need all the motivation you can get and sometimes it isn’t even enough. One of your main ways to cope with recovery/losing your old coping mechanism, should be daydreaming. Daydream all day if you like, make up big plans, make up small plans, just get busy and start picturing a life you want for yourself and keep thinking about it and how much you want it.

Practice mindfulness and consciousness: Yuck, I hate this shit. I’m too much of a hardass to feel totally composed regarding these exercises, but sure enough I have to do them at therapy every week. It does help, not gonna lie, but I don’t like it one bit. Some do, some find these things calming and enjoyable, but I mostly just start nervously twitching and squirming whenever I have to stay still and think about a happy place or to consciously tell myself that “I love myself and I wish good health for myself”. These exercises have helped me to stop running down my old disordered thought patterns everytime something bad happens to me and they help me to deconstruct those disordered thought patterns, but oh my god I hate doing these exercises, I just can’t calm down and relax.

During this stage, you are working to deconstruct the thought patterns that your ed has created for you. It is slow work, it is hard work, and it will feel like you’re stuck and not progressing at all, but trust me, you are making progress. Everytime you don’t do something you ed tells you to do, you’re undermining the thought pattern. Everytime you think something your ed makes you think, but add your own new recovery-flavoured addition to it, you’re undermining the thought patterns. Even if you don’t believe a word you’re saying to your ed when you’re trying to convince the both of you that this is the right thing to do, you’re making progress. These things are like picking up blades of grass with tweezers from a golf field. One at the time, slowly but surely.

This stage can last for months, you might slip backwards a few times, but rest assured, your progress won’t be undone. Just climb back up the next day, try again, and again, and again. Little by little you’re getting better and closer to the last stage of your ed (SPOILERS: it’s pretty good).

Let’s talk about treatment options, yeah? During the acts for change, you are extremely vulnerable to falling back into your disorder, for the negative emotions and discomfort are bound to be high and you are so used to using your disordered behaviour to compensate those emotions. 

This is why inpatient/residential is the most effective treatment option, because it relieves you of a lot of responsibility over yourself, while also removing you from you daily life and the stress. You are in a safe place where you can be as weak and miserable as you truly are, and someone is always there to help you through the hard moments and making sure you stick to your recovery. Inpatient isn’t the only way though and often not necessary. The only time inpatient is absolutely necessary is if your physical health is deteriorating and you need medical care. Being severy under or overweight, malnourished, or suffering from health complications might make inpatient needed, but in general, inpatient treatment is not necessary, unless you want it or can’t recover any other way. I went inpatient for my fourth episode with me ed. I was underweight and badly malnourished, but there was no medical emergency, so inpatient wasn’t exactly necessary, but I had the option to go and I took it.

Outpatient treatment, such as talk therapy sessions can be just as effective as inpatient, although it requires a lot more strength and willpower from you yourself. Outpatient treatment can be for example talk therapy, group therapy, regular check-ups with a doctor or a nurse, physiotherapy or seeing a nutritionist. The most effective way to make outpatient work is to make an outpatient team that communicates with one and other, and together you decide how to proceed each week.

Recovering without professional care is possible, but it is definitely the most difficult way to go about it and it can leave you unprepared for possible relapses. I’ve recovered on my own three times and each time it required me to sacrifice something in order for it to work. Usually I had to quit school or move back to my mother’s, so I could focus on what was important. I ate my mother’s food and didn’t do anything else until my disordered thought patterns had faded into oblivion. The support of family and friends is very important in every option, but especially if you don’t get professional care. 

I live in Finland and we have a really good healthcare system that didn’t absolutely bankrupt me and my family when I got help for my ed, but I know that’s not the case everywhere. However, even if you assume that you can’t afford care or don’t have options, I recommend confirming it from someone who knows these things. There are lots of ed centres online that you can contact and ask for advice if you don’t know what your options are. These places usually have some sort of crisis chat or number where you can talk to professionals, usually free of charge, if you feel like you’re about to lose your shit. Taking any help you can is key in recovery and trust me, you need it and you are absolutely worthy of it. These people get paid to do this, you’re not bothering them and they’re doing their job.

Acts for change lasts as long as it needs to and the shift to the next stage is gradual. It is the worst bullshit you’ll ever go through, but hey, you’re so close to being in the clear, you just gotta get through this one last stage and then it’s all going to fall into place and you’re gonna finally get to relax.

[nozomijoestar]

After finishing TWDG’s final episode with Clementine I needed to write something I thought of after seeing the epilogue dialogue choices, so here’s Clem getting a prosthetic from the materials I chose to have Willy steal in ep 3 (that’s admittedly inspired in design by Guts false arm bc I love Kentaro Miura’s Berserk, minus the built in cannon, there’s also an allusion in one of the ways Clem sits here to this panel)

The silence intensified the sounds of their work; the loudness making his heart pound fearfully. Sure the walls beyond them were mossy bricks that’d bore witness to blood and fire yet held but-

“Alright you can pass me the screwdriver again. I just gotta get this other screw tight and the top should be done.”

He obeyed placing the tool in Willy’s hand ( it had funny looking faded letters on the handle, he’d have to practice reading later ) and cringed at the clanking of metal being manhandled. His fingers went over his ears. His tone was reprimanding.

“Loud is still bad.”

“This is nothing like a gunshot AJ, or that time on the boat. No Walker is gonna come knocking for a meal ‘cuz of some tinkering. ‘Ya gotta relax a little more buddy. You were doin’ real good.” 

“Really?” AJ asked in his best quiet voice as Willy hunched further into his work. 

“Yeah. Ah shit, there’s one more thing I need. Can you get me Clem’s boot? She should be out in the yard. I’d give you the ruler too but,”

His eyes measured AJ up and down, stocky for a five year old with a face too molded into harsh angles; accustomed to survival. He shook his head as the boy’s brow twitched sensing something unspoken. 

“Nah I’ll do it myself. Hurry before she goes anywhere.”

“She can’t move fast with those cru...cruh, crutches.” AJ wrestled with the word still shiny new in his arsenal. 

“Maybe she’s getting cooties kissing Violet then.”

The snicker in Willy’s voice made AJ’s nose crinkle as though he’d tasted something sour. He had no clue what cooties meant and grasped a rough concept of kissing. Shaking and stirring the two well while adding the echo of Willy’s tone was enough to send him running out the door. His heart raced and swelled in his throat while darting past those walking through the halls. A churning flipped his stomach with all the force of exhilarating panic and dread. 

Any threat to Clementine had to be eliminated. The threads of a plan began to knit in his mind; they twisted and bound fiercely. If cooties were like when he’d get the dukies, or caught a cold, then he’d carry her to bed. If he could find even one of the special roots and flowers Clem had shown him, he’d ask Ruby to make medicine. He’d feed it to her himself kneeling at her bedside and everything would go back to normal. He smiled to himself. The idea was perfect!

Before he knew it he’d sprinted into the sunlight then stopped. For a moment he was blinded before he shielded his eyes. His body coiled like a spring searching the yard that blended into one blur until at last he found her. 

She sat with her foot propped on the furthest pillar of the admin building’s front steps. Her back reclined against the pillar beside the first. She let her right arm dangle on her knee as though its shadow would conceal the bandaged stump that once linked her left foot. Words and sentences in colored pencil decorated the gauze until it nearly disappeared. Her face is too far away to make out the details beyond its pensive air. A pair of crutches were leaned against a pillar base.

The slight breeze made her hair flutter with a sense of something ethereal. Within his mind however, he has no word he knows to describe it. It only makes his head hurt attempting to decipher further. Such a thing was unnecessary compared to the way his heart swelled to see her alive. He sighed in relief finding Violet nowhere near. The war against cooties would be shelved for another day. 

“Hey there little man. You gonna talk to Clem too?”

He looked to his right and found Violet peering at him; an attempt at a comfortable smile on her face. Behind her eyes he shuddered to sense waves of grief still crashing against a cliff of rage. He was plunged back in time, seeing Tenn’s neck spurting into a fountain of blood. His frail body had stumbled toward the gaping mouths and grasping hands the dead held out while AJ stood firm behind the smoking gun. They’d swarmed Tenn as he fell like starving sharks closing in at last. It surprised him still how clearly he could remember seeing the soles of Tenn’s boots being all that signified something of him remained. 

AJ wondered there not for the first time if Violet yearned to have taken Tenn’s place. If he’d broken the balance of what fate intended. He swallowed and sighed deeply. His mind cleared as he stuffed the memory behind one of an infinite hall of mental doors. He had to be strong. 

A sad-mad Violet as she’d put it was better than a dead one. The proof stood before him, revealed itself in the smile it put on Clem’s face like no other. What she wrestled with would eventually smolder alongside the days, becoming an ache from a lifetime ago. It’d be the same for himself. But it would never leave. That was nature. Right then he felt he grasped a better understanding of ‘Trauma’. 

He remembered she was awaiting a response and nodded. Had her voice ever been so soft lately? It rasped this time as though the hours she’d spent crying were baring themselves raw. He tried ignoring it. 

“Yeah, Willy wants to measure her for his project. So I need her boot.”

“Walk with me and we can let her know together.”

“...Okay.”

It took little to shake Clementine from her thoughts when she heard them approach. She smiled looking between them; her eyes crinkled. AJ giggled feeling her pat his hair. At once a calm flooded warm and strong within him; it drove back the encroaching shadows of insecurity. 

“Someone’s been hiding all day. You here to tell me what you’re cooking up with Willy finally?”

“Nah. We need your boot though or he can’t finish it.”

He watched Clem give Violet a weighty stare that said everything in nothing. It left his expression crumpled and puzzled. He hated when she left him in the dark; for an instant he felt his calm waver. She untangled him from his thoughts with a gentle chuckle. 

“Alright then kiddo, just give me a second.”

Without being asked AJ made room for Violet to pass as Clem adjusted herself. When she nearly slipped on her footing he lunged forward but Violet was quicker. Instead he helped pry loose the laces, easing Clem’s burden. Before long he completed his task and did his best keeping the sight of her struggle from overstaying its welcome. He and Willy were going to fix everything. That was all that mattered most. 

The racket from the door as he burst in almost sent Willy tumbling from his seat. Without waiting for him to right himself, a hand clutched over his heart, AJ placed the boot on the desk with pride. He grinned and crossed his arms; unflinching under Willy’s shout.

“Jesus you could’ve knocked! I thought someone was coming to kill me for damn sake.”

“You wanted to swear didn’t you?” 

“Shut up and don’t tell Clem or she’ll let me hear it if you learned one.” 

“I won’t. Promise.” 

AJ stuck out his pinkie, eyes brimming with hope that payed off when Willy sealed their pact. He turned his attention to the skeleton of a prosthetic laying in wait. Its top was basket shaped at the contact point, connected then to a disk. From there a metal rod jut out backward diagonally; it was crudely welded onto the end of another rod that went diagonal in the opposite direction. The bottom of this last rod was capped by a metal ball. It showed the craftsmanship of a talented amateur. The sight of it filled AJ’s stomach with butterflies. 

Willy had moved on to inspecting the boot.

One moment after the next he shifted a miraculously preserved ruler around at varying angles. Doing his best to make as little noise as possible AJ pulled up a chair beside him. He rested his chin on his palms. His eyes were wide and pondering, mustering all his remaining innocent wonder. 

They passed the time in resumed silence broken only by the sounds of work and the order to pass tools as needed. Neither noticed the sun as it shifted through its cycles until it clocked out. Moonlight proved barely tolerable and Willy wasted no time requesting candles be lit. AJ left to retrieve the igniter hoping Clem wouldn’t catch him in their shared room with a lecture ready. Ruby stopped him in his tracks the second he opened the workshop door. Her hands moved from ready to knock to on her hips. Her natural ruddy face was pinched in agitation that masked worry.

AJ knew well her hawk eyed stare and went stiff as a board; his mind went blank. Her comforting Southern drawl took on its hidden razor edge.

“Now ya’ll can’t sit here all day and not get some dinner in you. Omar said the food’s ready. Ya’ll are gonna eat before bed ya hear? Clem ain’t goin nowhere so ya’ll shouldn’t kill yourselves on that thing.” 

They grumbled and gave halfhearted protests that turned into whimpers when Ruby pinched their ears. Dinner that night became an unannounced duel to eat the fastest; one AJ vowed Willy would lose. No sooner had he picked up the pace did Clem put a hand on his shoulder. He began to slow down before her firm reprimand came. The reflection on the broth of his stew showed him a boy weary with the troubles of an old man. He frowned and grunted. 

At his side singled out from the other conversations that buzzed around the table he heard Clem sigh. Instinctively he set down his spoon, turning to search her face for the slightest pain. These days she spent her time awake in bursts that quickly fizzled out before repeating. Often she carried the effort for conversation on her shoulders like a yoke; fighting against years of exhaustion that crept up now all at once. AJ wondered if this too was trauma. If the loss of her legs had suddenly let a part of her she’d always concealed burst. If maybe she was, though forever a worrywart, itching to rest. 

That was the only time he questioned if her foot should be restored. 

The thinking hurt his head. Clem had carried on away from his notice. She was whispering something against Violet’s hair; letting her rest her head on her shoulder. They exchanged words too fast for him to hear except the aftermath as Violet giggled and blushed. As if on cue he saw Louis slide a folded paper their way. He wiggled his eyebrows and tilted his head toward AJ when Clem threw the message back at him. She snorted and rolled her eyes. Her voice maintained a whisper.

“AJ if you ever feel weird around me and Violet, you can look away.”

“Hmm...ok, if you say so.” He replied shrugging his shoulders. It made her chuckle.

“When you’re older I’ll explain it a bit more.”

That only confused him again; today had made him feel that way more times than he cared for. His eyes grew heavy, his sight dim. He was vaguely aware of being carried; then a bed’s softness and unmistakably Clem wishing him goodnight. 

He dreamed she ran and played with him on a day of endless fair weather. Their laughter was easy, the world bright. There no one tired; there no one suffered. When he woke in the dawn chill shivering his skin was drenched in sweat. He rubbed his eyes, wondering if indeed just as he’d woken he’d heard Tenn’s voice. No matter how hard he tried to remember the exact words spoken escaped him. A long while marked by tossing and turning dragged on before he returned to sleep against Clem’s side. 

After a modest lunch, largely dry seasoned fish he felt proud to have caught the day before, he excused himself to Willy’s workshop. Arranged on the desk were bigger handfuls of the material they’d seized from Delta ( or as Willy would put it, kindly took what was theirs ). A stack of pre-cut sheet metal, small screws, ball-peen hammer, chisel, and the return of a welding kit were new additions. Metal shavings glimmered on the ground like diamonds. 

“There you are AJ. I was wondering when you’d wake up. Help me layer some of these together.”

He was handed five rectangular cut sheets already sized to the length and width of Clem’s boot. The edges were roughly worked into the curves of a foot. AJ smiled. He lined up each separate template and noted the holes Willy had placed at key points. 

“Now you get to screw in the screws so it becomes one piece. Just be careful not to go too tight or it’ll wear down faster later.”

“Got it.” 

He lifted the screwdriver with its funny words and worked keeping his eyes on Willy for approval. Slowly a solid plate was created. They high-fived when it didn’t bend, nor did the screws fall after a drop test. Though neither could be certain both agreed ( rather, Willy insisted on a hunch ) it must be high grade aluminum preserved from the Old World. 

“See that means even though its lightweight it’ll be tough as nails! Clem could break rocks with this thing.”

“No she can’t, nobody can. That’s magic.”

“Don’t underestimate engineers AJ!” 

Those were new words he knew too little about to dispute anything further. He settled for shrugging his shoulders; he made a memo to ask Clem later. At last the time came to weld the plate beneath the entire frame. AJ left the room at Willy’s bark that it was far too dangerous for him to stay unless he wanted burns. He wandered the yard kicking stray stones; he tried calculating just what it took to turn one to dust, maybe a huge hammer, or a bigger rock. Definitely not a foot though her new one would be metal. The jury was still out on the matter, he decided. 

Ruby allowed him to join her on lookout. Almost immediately he received a lecture on remembering to care for himself. Even if he felt driven he had to remember his meals, remember to sleep, remember everyone shared the weight of responsibilities. He crossed his arms and sighed most of the way through even if he partially understood. With her fire burned out and nothing closing on the gates, she found the tables turned as he questioned her knowledge on medicine. As he suspected there were plants that left her dumbfounded. He liked to think of them as even after that. 

The sun had begun to dim when the burst of a door and the sound of someone running out pulled their attention. The entire yard followed suit. Willy rushed to the gate, his hard work glittering from the dusk. In sync AJ and Ruby’s jaws fell open. 

“Its done! Go and get Clem out here dude!” 

He didn’t need to be told twice and soon she emerged; her eyes squinted to make out the dark. He hovered nearby and directed her movements as the others lit candles. The light would be needed for dinner soon anyway. Willy stood near the steps with his hands behind his back. An ear to ear smile was plastered on his face that gave him a ratty look. With help to keep her balance Clem sat by the pillars. She wore an expression that feigned at suspense. AJ read it clear, she knew what was coming. The way his whole body buzzed in excitement made him not care if it’d been spoiled. 

Everyone else had gathered in a half circle around her when Clementine spoke.

“Alright Willy, what’ve you got for me?”

“It wasn’t just me AJ helped a lot.”

“I don’t doubt that.” She said with a smile. 

AJ gripped one of her hands and bounced slightly. The crowd held their breath. Finally Willy brought his arms forward. The prosthetic was encased in a shell of sheet metal shaped into a lower leg. Its ends showed marks where it’d been burned onto the skeleton. On the sides of its surface there were raised lines with fullers flanking them. The foot plate itself had seen the most care in its welding. Though she’d braced for what she’d suspected, Clem’s eyes widened; she gasped softly. She sat motionless as Willy approached and looks fell upon her. 

“Its the solidest thing I’ve ever made. None of you get to say I suck unless it ever breaks. I know Clem’s gonna take care of it though.” He addressed the crowd. 

“Its...I...I don’t know what to say.”

“Try it!”

She took a shaky breath and swallowed hard. AJ cocked his head; had he seen her almost cry? He pat her arm as she held the prosthetic that had become far greater than a hunk of metal. With a final deep breath she lowered her stump into the basket; Violet and Louis moved to help her stand. She nodded slowly when she found her balance. They backed away, Violet went rigid, poised for the slightest accident. Clem shut her eyes, reopened them, drew another deep breath. She looked down. The foot caught moonlight as if giving a grand greeting. 

“Good thing you kept your knee so it should be easier to use. Take a walk whenever you’re ready.” Willy said. 

It moved well for its design, giving her a slight limp. Baby step by baby step she willed herself to the wooden table and back. Twice she stumbled to fall into the arms of the others. AJ watched in awe; a smile seemed permanently fixed on his face. He cheered when she moved to climb the steps and stood at the top, baffled. She wiped the corners of her eyes. She almost stumbled again feeling him crash against her for a hug. 

“Easy there goofball. I’ve still gotta get used to it.”

“You can walk again though, isn’t that great?”

She knelt down slowly on her natural leg. Ruffling his hair made him giggle. Her heart soared pulling him into a strong embrace. 

“You helped it be that way.”

[jiminies-ahmee]

SERIES: ARCADE WITH BTS

ARCADE DATE WITH BOYFRIEND!BTS 

NAMJOON

I love him so much but he’d be a little bit of a clutz

but , not like tripping over his own feet kinda clutz

More like getting his money stuck under machines or having the machine eat away his money and not give him a turn

*initiate pouty namjoon*

You’d ruffle his hair and pull out your purse

“Come on, joonie, you can buy the food” you’d laugh

And he’d get a lil blushy, but would follow you around the arcade, taking a hold of your hand

the two of you would go to race on the cars

And namjoon would lose bc halfway through he’d get a leg cramp bc they were too long to fit in the tiny space

“Sorry, y/n, this whole date turned out to be a mess”

“A mess? Don’t be silly, Namjoon. This was the best date ever, I don’t know how you’re going to top it.”

SEOKJIN

very enthusiastic 

v e r y 

he’d definitely drag you to the dance game bc that’s his forte and he wants to show you some of his skills, duh 

you’d probably end up crying from laughter bc he’d make those noises of his whilst doing it 

and you’d have to walk away bc you just couldn’t stop laughing 

and then you’d hear this loud voice yell, “YAH Y/N Y/L/N, COME AND FACE ME LIKE A WOMAN! I DEMAND A REMATCH!” 

and you'd just got beet red bc wow everyone was looking at you bc here Seokjin is pointing at you 

but it didn’t really matter to you bc lmao there goes Seokjin babbling like a turkey 

“Seokjin, oh my god! Fine, bring it on! If I win, I get to keep your sugar gliders.” 

“NOT ODENGIE AND EOMUKIE, HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?!” 

YOONGI 

he’d act pretty cool about everything 

but he’d be so ready for the basketball game 

like “yes, this is my shit” 

but he wouldn’t go over to them 

and you’d see him glancing at the game over and over again 

you’d sigh and be like “do you wanna play, yoongs?”

and he’d look at you “no, what? pfffttt” 

but you’d see right through him bc you know your man 

and you’d drag him over to the basketball game and press start before he could back out 

ugh you’d melt watching him bc wow could he get any cuter 

his tongue would probs be poking out a lil while he shot hoops 

and once he was finished he’d just look over at you with a smirk bc he knew you were low-key checking him out 

“you good there?” he’d ask 

and you’d just slap his arm before rolling your eyes 

HOSEOK 

this cutie sunshine baby soinfsioeowhe

he’d run about the entire arcade, holding your hand the whole time 

and you’d be stupid if you thought he’d let got of it 

the both of you would end up playing every goddamn game they had available 

but i think hobi’s fave would be the duck one where you push a button that pushes them over  

yeah, that’s hobi’s favouriteeeeee

and he’d make those cute ass noise effects of his whenever he managed to knock a duckie down 

and even tho it’s just a pure habit of his, he’d realise it made you laugh so he’d do it even more 

only bc he loved you and love your laugh and loved seeing you happy 

and when the both of you had had enough, he’d cutely ask if you wanted to get ice cream 

“ice cream, baby?” 

you’d boop his cheek and nose before saying yes 

“ofc, sunshine” 

JIMIN 

park bloody jimin 

what a fkn cutie 

he’d just shyly take you around the arcade and ask if you wanted to play anything 

but as soon as you walked past the dance game it’d all be over 

his facade would be gone 

“come on, y/n, i’ll choose an easy song, i swear” 

you’re going to find yourself wondering how many kilos you’d lost bc honestly dammit park jimin 

“jimin you’re going to have to carry me out of here, you’re bloody ridiculous” and he’d just giggle and smile that eye smile of his 

and tbh you’d forgive him then and there bc how could one not???? 

but once he was done, he’d wrap an arm around your waist and walk with you like that 

“i got you, jagi. don’t worry” 

(if you didnt hear that last bit in his voice idk who you are) 

TAEHYUNG 

this goofy lil bean

he’d just be a boxy smile, running around the arcade with you 

“just take it slow, tae, we’ve got plenty of time” you’d laugh 

“no, we gotta play them allllllll~” 

and you would bc taehyung’s word is kept 

taehyung is gonna tire you out omg 

he’ll play all the arcades over and over bc he’s a little kid sometimes, ya know??

he’d want to play the air hockey game but you gotta give him a minute bc he’s gonna laugh so hard remembering what happened to jin hyung last time they played the game 

once he’d calmed down and ppl had asked you if tae was okay 

he’d thrash you 

but with grace

bc that’s how taehyung is 

but he’ll hug you and kiss your cheeks, nose and forehead 

“i love you, y/n. maybe you can beat me next time, yeah?” 

JUNGKOOK 

competitive af 

like that’s literally his middle name 

he’ll be all cool with it in the beginning but once he realised you were pretty good with arcades, the competition would begin 

he’ll be glancing at you while the both of you race in one of the car games 

and bc he was so focussed on you, you’d win easily 

hehe 

cue a pouty and slightly upset jeon jungkook 

“y/n! why are you so distracting?” 

“who? me? noooooo” 

yeah he’d be real pouty

so you’d let him win the next game 

and he’d offer to buy food 

win win situation if i don't say so myself 

jeon jungkook is just a lil baby boo 

[randomfandomimagine]

Stupidly Obvious (Remus x Reader)

Character: Remus Lupin ft .Wingman Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter/Marauders

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Gryffindor!Reader

Title: Stupidly Obvious

Requested by anon:

remus x reader where she’s best friends with the marauders(but she doesn’t know about the animagus stuff) and he has an obvious (not for her ofc) crush on her and they get him to ask her to the yule ball. but it’s a full moon and remus has to leave with a shitty excuse and reader is super sad bc she thinks she’s not good enough for him. reader leaves and goes to the shrieking shack, a secret hiding place of hers to be alone. there she meets the marauders in there animal form and she is super shocked that remus is a werewolf and he almost attacks her but sirius saves her & later in the morning when remus turns back they meet at the black lake alone&he says sorry & he wants to confess to her but he thinks she will never like a werewolf like him. So Sirius steps in and ends their misery by saying that they like each other so why don’t they just kiss.fluff pls thx♡♡

A/N: This is the first proper imagine of the Marauders I’m writing, so bear with me! I hope it was accurate and I got the characterization right and that it was any good :P

I smiled when I saw the four of them walking my direction, with James stupidly shouting my name to make me laugh and Sirius jokingly winking an eye at me. Peter smiled at me in silence, and Remus just stared at me shyly.

I had been friends with those four ever since we were all sorted in Gryffindor back in our first year, and Remus had never acted that way around me, and I couldn’t really understand why.

Lately he had been behaving strangely, they all had! But specially him, as he seemed always quieter than usual, not to mention flustered and shy. I asked him multiple times, but he would always brush it off or change the subject.

The other three weren’t much help either, because they would change the subject as well. I felt like I was missing something, not understanding those complicity glances and low giggles they sent each other.

“Hey, Y/N” James was the first one to speak up, stepping up and placing a friendly arm over my shoulders. “Remus here wants to talk to you”

“Really?” I replied, excited that he was willing to face me. “What is it?”

Remus finally seemed to relax his tense posture and his concerned expression as he warmly smiled at me.

“I wanted to…” He began to say, pursing his lips together as though he couldn’t find the right words.

“Just be honest and straightforward, Remus” Sirius whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, just as he pushed his friend closer to me.

“I just wanted to ask you…” Almost asking them for support, Remus looked over his shoulder to the rest, who nodded encouragingly. “If you have a date for the dance”

“Not yet…” I pouted and rolled my eyes. “No one asked me”

“Would you go with me?” He asked instantly after, so fast that I hardly understood what he said.

“Yeah, sure!” I smiled in excitement, knowing how fun it would be to go with one of my best friends. “Such a good idea, just go with a friend! I should have thought-“

I interrupted myself because, behind him, James and Sirius were making weird gestures, shaking their heads and ushering me to stop talking. And Peter just watched me with wide eyes.

“Eh… exactly” Remus piped up in the end after a moment of silence.

He dedicated me a weak smile before he turned around and left where he came from. Peter followed him, and I noticed how he made wide gestures to him in an attempt to catch his attention.

“What the hell was that?” I asked Sirius and James, confused.

“Nothing, Y/N” James patted my shoulder, with a mysterious smile, and went to reunite with the others.

“Just… dress up for the dance and get pretty, okay?” Sirius chuckled as his arm casually fell over my shoulders.

We started walking to the Great Hall, and so I chuckled and pushed him a little.

“Are you saying I have to dress up to be pretty, Sirius?”

“I wouldn’t dare, Y/N, not unless I want to be turned into a frog”

*

I was oddly jittery when the day of the dance came. Everyone was rushing, pacing and hurrying as they prepared to go to the Yule Ball.

I stood before the mirror, watching my reflection thoughtfully. If it weren’t because my roommate assured me that I looked great, I would have been very self-conscious about it.

Honestly, I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous! I was just going to meet with my friend Remus and hang out with the rest of my friends as usual. With the small difference that we were all dressed up and we were going to a dance. Why was that any different from any other regular day?

Taking a deep breath, I left the bedrooms and passed through the Gryffindor Common Room until I made it to Great Hall, where the Yule Ball was being held at.

I glanced around looking for my friends until I found them. It wasn’t too hard, as they were being loud and rambunctious as usual. Smiling to myself, I walked over to them. They hadn’t noticed me yet.

James and Sirius were talking amongst them, and I could have sworn I heard my name being spoken in the conversation.  

“Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back?” I playfully told them, interrupting them.

“Y/N!” James smirked at me, eyeing me up and down.

“Wait until Remus sees you” Sirius chuckled in disbelief. “You look great!”

I glanced at Peter as he was silent, and he just smiled at me.

It was probably the first time we saw each other out of our usual school tunics, or at least into something so fanciy, and it was quite the sight. To witness them wearing tuxedo like outfits was strange yet oddly charming. And for once, James had managed to comb that mess of a hair.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked them, strangely eager to see him.

“He was a little nervous, he’s taking his time” James winked at me in a way that I didn’t really understand.

I frowned and opened my mouth to ask, but Sirius interrupted me.

“Are you nervous, Y/N?” His smirk had a mischievous hint to it as he leaned an elbow over my shoulders.

“No…” I lied, gently pushing him away from me.

“You do look nervous” Peter pointed out.

“Shut up, I don’t!”

“You better not be lying, because here he comes”

I quickly turned around, hurriedly combing my hair hoping they weren’t messing with me. But indeed, there he was. Remus looked very handsome, and I nearly melted at the tender smile he dedicated me when he saw me. His eyes were dripping with fondness as he approached me.

“Y/N!” Kindly, he took my hands in his. “You look… beautiful! So beautiful!”

“You don’t look too bad yourself” I grinned at him.

I could hear Sirius and James muttering behind us, even giggling. But I was too smitten with Remus to pay attention to them.

*

It had been a lovely evening, like a beautiful dream. Perfect.

I had fun with my friends, slow danced with Remus and talked and laughed a lot. But all good things must come to an end. In this case, rather, the magic spell was broken when Remus left behind his calm yet jittery behavior, which was replaced with a panicked and hurried one.

Had I done something wrong? Was it something I said? Why did he look so frantic and worried all of a sudden?

“I knew this was a bad idea…” I heard him whispering to himself as he broke away from our embrace.

“Re-Remus?” I spluttered, completely astonished.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I have to go, I…” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he struggled to get away from me, despite my efforts to hold him back.

“What’s wrong?” I urged him, desperately trying to get him to stay, to linger in the closeness and intimacy.

“I… There’s something I… I’m sorry”

Seeing as he wasn’t giving me a clear answer, I turned to the other three. They exchanged glanced of concern in silence, almost forgetting I was there with them.

“We gotta go” Sirius hurriedly mumbled, urging them all outside.

“Sorry” Peter turned to me one last time before leaving me there. Alone.

Resigned, I sat down and heaved a big sigh.

I couldn’t understand, they didn’t give me a proper explanation! They didn’t give me an excuse, not even a crappy one! Was it really that bad?

It was me, wasn’t it? Remus noticed we were getting too affectionate and romantic and he didn’t like the idea of it. Was I not good enough for him? I thought he enjoyed being with me! Why did he abandon me like that then, so hurriedly? Did I really scare him off?

Maybe I was just deceiving myself thinking he might like me. Maybe he just left, dragging the rest along with him, because he saw things were getting out of hand. He just… ditched me!

I absently looked up, feeling a painful and empty sadness taking over me. All across the room were happy couples talking, dancing or laughing together. It was almost like they were reminding me what I could be doing at that moment with the boy that, I realized, I liked. That I really really liked.

I only noticed when I started craving something I didn’t have. Something that I nearly got but that was snatched from me.

Heartbroken and miserable, I stood up and left the dance. There was only one place I wanted to be at, and it was far far away from there.

A place that somehow helped me think and calm down when I was upset. Perhaps because of the feeling of isolation it gave me, that I could relate to when I was in a mood bad enough to seek it.

Taking advantage of the secret passage way of the Whomping Willow that the boys had told me about –which they discovered not too long ago and were planning to write down, along with the others that would someday hopefully help other lawbreakers like themselves -, I headed for the Shrieking Shack in the hopes that it would comfort me enough to then go back to Hogwarts.

*

I thought I might, but I didn’t cry. I just sat there, alone, trying to keep my mind blank. And eventually, the silent environment of the Shrieking Shack –even though everyone called it so, whenever I went there everything remained quiet, which confirmed that the abandoned house wasn’t haunted like the rumors said –along with the calm ambiance of the night, helped me calm down. I was still upset, of course, but I was feeling a little better.

Just as I wondered why the Shrieking Shack was called like that if I never heard any shrieking in it, a shrill scream sounded in the distance. I gasped, frightened, and stood up.

Absently brushing the dust off my dress, I stood up and stared at the direction the shriek came from.

Knowing the best idea would be to hide from the danger, I left the room and went to the next room when I heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

I peaked at the door, somewhat curious to see what was happening. Four voices talked over each other, frantic and almost panicked. But… they sounded familiar.

“We’re almost there, hold on!”

“Fight it, you can do it!”

“I can’t!”

“It’s too late!”

I gasped when I saw none other than Remus Lupin, being held down by James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Because it seemed like he was… changing. Shifting.

His features were elongating and becoming sharper and wilder. Almost like those of an animal. What was happening?!

Too worried to think straight, I jumped out of my hiding place and revealed my presence to them.

“Remus?” I muttered, even if my voice came out lower than I intended.

Startled by my sudden presence there, the three boys turned to me in awe. Until Remus fully shifted into a werewolf. And because they were distracted by me, he escaped from their grip.

I screamed as I saw him lunge at me, completely rid from his human side as the moonlight entered through the cracks of the planked windows. I should have known.

While I waited for him to inevitably tackle me and hurt me, my mind did something strange. It slowed time and I found myself thinking back.

Back to other nights that also happened to be full moon, in which Remus would excuse himself and disappeared for many hours. Back to the mornings he returned, worn out and exhausted, and would never explain what happened to him, no matter how much I asked.

Part of me always knew there was something going on. Part of me figured Remus was a werewolf, piecing everything together. But the conscious side of me preferred to see Remus as I always did. The calm, kind and gentle boy I liked so much.

The werewolf side of him clashed so much with the other one that I just refused to believe it. Until then.

When Remus was tackling me to the ground, hurting my arm as I hit it when I fell. I screamed out in pain and terror, but his fangs never made contact with my skin.

I realized I had shut my eyes tight when I had to open them to see what was going on. A big black dog was defending me, tearing the werewolf form of Remus away from me.

To make sure my friends were safe, I looked over to my friends. James and Peter were still there, but where had Sirius gone to?!

Unless… the black dog was Sirius.

Once Remus was temporarily dazed by the attack, the dog glanced at the boys and then at me. Without further ado, the dog turned back into Sirius, who gripped my wrist and dragged me away from there in a rush.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! What the hell is going on, Sirius?!”

“Remus is a werewolf”

“That much I figured myself”

“We became animagi to help him” Sirius urgently tugged at me so I would walk faster, never making eye contact. “James is a stag and Peter is a rat”

“Why hadn’t you told me?” I exclaimed, outrage by what I was just finding out. “I had the right to now!”

“We wanted to tell you” Sirius only stopped once we were at the end of the passage way, near the Whomping Willow. “But Remus refused, he was afraid of letting you know”

“Why? I don’t understand, Sirius, why…”

“There’s no time for that right now, you need to get to safety” He shook his head vehemently. “Besides, that’s not for me to say”

“But-“

“Go to school, and don’t come back here”

“What?! I’m not gonna-“

“Promise, Y/N”

Watching the urgency and concern in his eyes, I sighed and obliged.

“I promise, Sirius” I nodded and he nodded back.

Then he disappeared back inside to assist our friends on restraining Remus.

I resigned myself to keep my promise and went back to Hogwarts. And even though it was night time and everyone had left the ball to go to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep at all that night.

*

The next day everything felt hazy like a dream.

It was not strange in our wizarding world, but discovering the boy I liked was a werewolf and my best friends were animagi was quite the shock. I was still trying to completely wrap my mind around the idea.

However, I went to Remus in the Common Room and asked him to meet later. And there we were, even if we were supposed to be talking and we hadn’t said a word so far.

We just walked in silence, being awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe asking Remus to talk and sort things out wasn’t the best idea, but I refused to let him go so easily. Even if it was as a friend, I wanted to keep him around.

And for that we needed to clarify some things, like what happened the other day. I wasn’t stupid, I knew a werewolf when I saw one. But why did he keep it from me? Why did the rest of them know and not me? Did he not trust me?

Every now and then he would look at me and open his mouth, just to regret it and resign himself to remain quiet. I wanted to say something myself, but I didn’t know what. After all, he was the one that needed to explain himself.

Remus cleared his throat as we walked alongside the Black Lake.

“I’m sorry” He uttered in the end, finally breaking the suffocating silence.

“For what?” I piped up as well, but he didn’t reply.

I stared at him, silently urging him to speak up. But he just frowned and looked down to the ground. He seemed troubled.

“I knew you two would be here doubting yourselves and not confessing!” A voice said behind us, startling us.

As we looked over our shoulders, we saw our dear friend Sirius running our direction to catch up with us.

“Sirius, what…?” Remus began saying, but his friend’s glare shut him up.

“Wait, confessing?” I asked, eyeing them intensely.

“He thinks you will think differently of him for being a werewolf” I had never seen our friend so fed up, he even rolled his eyes tiredly.

“Why would I?” I turned to Remus, gently squeezing his upper arm to reinforce my words. “You can’t control it, it’s who you are when you’re Remus that matters to me”

With the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius grinning widely at my words. Almost proudly.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed taken aback by my response. He didn’t react at first, until he smiled just a little and locked eyes with me.

“Really? I thought that-“ He began to say, just to be interrupted by Sirius.

“Why don’t you just stop being stupid?” He shoved us both a little. “You like each other, it should be obvious!”

I felt my cheeks burning and knew that I was blushing. It was a cheeky thing to say, but it somehow reassured me despite my embarrassment.

I was right, Remus did enjoy being with me! He did like me! So it was probably his fear of rejection why he kept everything from me. It was that what held him back from telling me the truth, from telling me everything.

“It’s so stupidly obvious!” Sirius groaned in exasperation.

“So you do like me back” I uttered with a happy chuckle.

“Like you back?” Remus was dumbfounded, and I noticed he was blushing a little as well.

“There we go” Sirius seemed to finally calm down, because he crossed his arms in satisfaction. “Now kiss”

“Sirius…” I whined in annoyance. “You’re embarrassing-”

Remus did, in fact, kiss me. It took me by surprise and I probably blushed even more, judging by the bright chuckle coming from Sirius. But Remus was smiling at me as he broke away, in a wide and calm tender gesture.

That was the Remus I knew and loved. In fact, the Remus I now knew more.