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canonmisogynyvictimstournament · 1 year ago

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PROPAGANDA

MIKAN TSUMIKI (DANGANRONPA 2: GOODBYE DESPAIR) (CW: Mind Control, Bullying)

1.) She is literally the saddest side character I know out of the series. She canonically went through severe abuse and bullying, oversexualizes herself as a defense mechanism, and has really bad anxiety that interferes with her interactions.

Does she get better? No.

Even though the whole theme of Danganronpa is overcoming despair, she never gets the support she needs despite having a lot of supposedly nice classmates. She CONTINUES to get verbally abused by another classmate nobody really bothers to stop, and one of her best friend even ENABLES some of her bad coping mechanisms. She's also the main source of fanservice for the second game.

Then she gets fucking brainwashed into one of the main villain's henchwoman. Yeah, the writers did NOT let her catch a break.

2.) The first two chapters are obsessed with having her do that stupid 'oh nooo all my clothes came off :"( u can see my panties :"(' shit and her free time events especially drift into the 'I'm accidentally saying something that's sexy but I don't know the connotations' brand of jokes. Idk what the spoiler policy is so I won't say much about her actual good points, but when she gets a chance to shine, she's really really interesting! For sure one of my favorite characters in the game! She's got nuance and character and relationships and motivations and interests and all that good stuff! She's even gay! It's just that its almost completely eclipsed by mediocre at best horny jokes for the first 2/3rds of her screentime in game and it drives me actually insane.

3.) You could put nearly all of the dr girls in this bracket, actually. But I picked Mikan because she's such a clear example. They just put her in there to sexualize her and her trauma. There were many ideas that could have been executed well with Mikan (I can relate to the aspect of her sexualizing herself, but the fact that they use it for fanservice is. Wow! And not in a good way) but they use her for fanservice instead. And she had the WORST execution or at least it was somewhere in the top 3. They unceremoniously cut off her development with the "despair disease" (hate that motive btw) and basically made her whole personality in what was supposed to be sorta love her 3rd act villain breakdown into "oooh my beloved ahaha I can't wait to be reunited with my beloved." I don't know shit about the anime but she seems to have been treated just as terribly there if not made worse! If it weren't for the fact that I refuse to acknowledge the animes existence it might have made me dislike her during the time I still actively liked the franchise. All the outfits they give her also feel like they were made just for fanservice shots (most of the outfits themselves aren't really bad at least not the ones I've seen it's that they were made with the intent to sexualize her and not to look good and fit her character) which is super frustrating. Oh and she was treated terribly in the game by Hiyoko but when she killed hiyoko it was just whoops she saw me kill ibuki gotta end her instead of giving her an interesting motive for even one of her kills. Honestly what makes me says she's screwed over by misogyny specifically is the fact that shit like this probably would not have happened if she were a guy. She wouldn't be written perfectly but her writing would be so much better. Like she was reduced to fanservice so so so many times and treated awfully.

OCHETTE (OCTOPATH TRAVELER 2) (CW: Racism, Ableism)

1.) SO. actually she's combod by the heavy anti-pasifika racism in ot2 but one of the strongest elements of that is that ochette herself is infantilized to the point of a 20 year old woman, who is a fully trained adult warrior and ingame stated to be like a week away from replacing her island's ultrabeast white lion guardian, being characterized by cool normal things like "having the white catholic inquisitor character promise to teach her backward people human language(the fantasy pasifika tribe she's from are kemonomimi because of course they are)", "haha ochette no understand human custom and have funny naive misunderstanding", "ochette draws the catholic inquisitor character a cutesy kiddie drawing", and being completely removed from any discussions around sex because octopath has this sexism problem where the only two types of women are innocent babies and femme fatales which is so cool AND normal. so ochette gets actually written to be essentially a "mental child" or sometimes an actual animal and is never, ever, ever allowed to have any dynamic with a human that is not paternal in nature because she is Baby. so she's also fighting the ableism. and despite all odds being stacked against her she manages to fuck super hard in a way that makes it so obvious that if ot2 was just less sexist and less racist and less ableist and someone suplexed the non-pasifika dev team and brought in at least a sensitivity reader, she could have fucked SO much harder. honestly imo the fact that the racism against her is superficially gender neutral is not proof that it's not sexism but proof that it IS, as a major part of racist sexism is treating the womanhood of woc as either unimportant or inferior compared to white womanhood, where pasifika woc specifically are often treated as eternal innocent girls who just can never understand an adult woman's relationship with gender. ochette not being allowed to be a woman and trapped at "child too young to even have a gender" is sickeningly sexist. she should have been allowed to have zest for life and be literally the "my daughter might have autism but god damn she can work a grill" lady and be unsure about taking on a hugely important position without it being used as shorthand for her being a toddler in the body of a notably very skinny girl considering she is canonically jacked enough to carry an iguana the size of a bus but WHATEVER. she should also have been allowed to hunt the white catholic inquisitor whose story climaxes with him killing an indigenous woman who secretly infiltrated the church in order to get revenge for them massacring her entire tribe that confirms ochette's people are kemonomimi because an ancient wizard cursed the brutish natives for their violence. actually fuck it i would put kaldena in too but thinking about her actually makes me depressed im so fucking sorry girl. they should BOTH have gotten a ten minute cutscene of beating hm to death with hammers

#polls #round 1 #week 1 #new #cw mind control #cw bullying #cw racism #cw ableism

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rosalind-hawkins · 9 months ago

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Mastershipping Musings ft. Pegasus

Pegasus is obviously a point of contention between Duke and Kaiba.

Pegasus and Kaiba still have to be business partners after Duelist Kingdom in anime canon, and that's the primary canon I follow because I'm still working on the manga. (side-note: Pegasus probably makes Kaiba pay through the nose for BEWD royalty rights, don't ya think?) Anytime they encounter each other, in business meetings and gaming conventions and tournaments, they have to play (mostly) polite in front of the cameras, but Kaiba can't stand him. That said, he's built his entire company based on Duel Monsters, so he has no choice but to put up with him. I imagine that Kaiba keeps Mokuba away from Pegasus as much as possible, to the point of making sure they're never ever in the same room together and trying to just never mention Pegasus to Mokuba if he can help it. Mokuba doesn't act outwardly traumatized after DK, but he's not taking any risks and not putting his brother in harm's way. Pegasus is a dangerous man, and Kaiba learned that lesson the hard way.

{Long post, rest under cut}

Duke idolized Pegasus as an artist and creator, and was basically the sole inspiration for Dungeon Dice Monsters. Once he finds out about what Pegasus did to the Kaibros in Duelist Kingdom, he's going to feel so conflicted. I think the internet's been around for long enough that we've all had a creator that we liked get outed for something awful they've done (I feel like it's happened a lot) and then we have that uncomfortable feeling afterwards of "but their art/content is so good" "but I shouldn't support them" "but you can separate the art from the artist" "but not when consuming the art is giving them money." Duke is gonna have a whole crisis about it when he finds out. When.

I don't think Kaiba feels a need to explain to Duke what Pegasus did, as he really doesn't come up too often as a topic of conversation between them, but also because he doesn't want to deal with the memory of it.

This gets a little bit into something that's fun for me: the different histories that Duke and Ryou have with Kaiba. Ryou experienced Duelist Kingdom (complete with the Kaiba bros getting their souls stolen by Pegasus) and Duke knows nothing about that. There's no reason for anybody in the friend group to tell Duke about what Pegasus did to Kaiba, or that Pegasus even had a Millennium Item (I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that never even comes up around Duke in season four). Ryou has no reason to talk to him about Pegasus because Ryou never thinks about Pegasus. Just forgets about the dude most of the time. And it also slips his mind that Duke doesn't know about that.

On the flip side, Ryou knows nothing about the Noah Kaiba virtual world adventure (I imagine Duke calls it the Battle City Bonus Round) because he was in the Shadow Realm, so he doesn't know about the KaibaCorp missiles that still exist btw (that's something important from that arc that I think it's easy to forget about, but yeah, Kaiba still owns all the weapons that KC had when he took over) and he didn't meet Noah or Gozaburo or find out how screwed up the Kaiba family is from that. He gets told or finds out later that Seto and Mokuba are adopted, but that's about it.

It's also entirely possible that at some point these three—Pegasus, Duke, and Kaiba—will sit down to a business meeting together because of the deals between their three companies. Just imagine Duke going into this meeting with no idea of the personal history between Pegasus and the Kaibas, all he knows is the professional stuff between their companies, and he assumes that they're on friendly terms with each other. Boy oh boy, is he in for a surprise (yes, this is a scene that I have planned for Power of Three). Duke goes in clueless with his boyfriend and the artist he adores, and then they're both going for the jugular, and he's just in shock. One of the few things that can leave Duke truly speechless, but he's got words for Kaiba after the meeting, you can count on that!

Power of Three snippet/preview below, because this scene won't be getting published for a looooong time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You were so much cuter when we first met," Pegasus sighed. "Fifteen and full of hope, and so terribly naïve."

"You've always been an opportunist,” Kaiba scoffed. “I wasn't nearly as naïve as you thought I was."

"You were naïve enough, dear boy. After all, you trusted me."

"At least you admit that you're untrustworthy."

Pegasus smiled.

Again, Duke was at a loss.

"Have you seen the pictures of when we first met?" Pegasus asked Duke, his smile smooth and charming. "He was downright adorable."

The way he stressed that last word made Seto's skin crawl.

"I'm not sure that's relevant to the topic of royalties," was Duke's tactful response. Seto had told him to keep the conversation on-topic; he’d thought Seto meant for him not to get distracted, not to keep the other two on track.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not the one luring children to my private island in international waters,” Kaiba sneered, and Duke couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him look so angry.

"Children are delightful, and they have such vivid imaginations." Pegasus laughed, his relaxed posture a sharp contrast to Kaiba's tension. "I can only imagine what Mokuba invented about his visit with me that makes you so resentful."

"You call that a visit?"

"Of course it was a visit. He even had his own little room." Pegasus's single brown eye twinkled. "And so did you, for that matter."

Kaiba stood sharply, glaring down at Pegasus, who simply leaned back in his chair and met his gaze. Duke held his breath, too confused to know what to say at this point. The silence stretched out, the clock on the wall audibly ticking down every second that passed.

"You're a damn lucky man that I can't cut ties with you," Seto finally said, releasing the fists that had been clenched at his sides.

"I'm a damn clever man for making things that way."

The air felt heavy in Duke's lungs and on his shoulders as he looked between the man he loved and the man he idolized.

"As long as you're damned, I'm content." Kaiba carefully sat back down.

"You're never content, but that's alright. I like you that way." Pegasus leaned forward again. "Back to the contracts?"

"Yes."

#seto kaiba #kaiba seto #maximillion pegasus #pegasus j crawford #duke devlin #ryuji otogi #otogi ryuji #mastershipping #fanfic preview #snippet #my writing #mumbleshipping #Power of Three (fic)#ryou bakura #mokuba kaiba #don't tag as toonshipping

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beardedmrbean · 7 months ago

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Sorry, the long puzzles things is meant to show how the Templars influence history while the assassins desperately try to stop them

Oh yes I know about Ford Antisemitism, ac acknowledge that in the long video I sent

As Ford sent a certain item to Agent “H” to kick off WW2

Ugh, okay which king I have to strangle in hell that decided that Jews were only good at doing “dirty” jobs like money?

I sure hope that antisemitism don’t come back like virus because people wanted to treat a geopolitical conflict like it a fucking kids cartoon

Oh btw, yes their fully grown adults, but Candace and Kanye antisemitism? Welll

It’s heavily because how my community views the world

Yes I’m 24, but allow me to explain

You see black Americans, since the fucking womb, that white people are the root of all our problems. Like years ago I learn that Africans sold Africans to Europeans

But if my reactions to the horrific connections the Dahomey is to the black American diaspora

Imagine the mentally hell older blacks may have

But about Kanye because someone pointed out a line in Micheal Jackson song. Given how a lot of powerful people in the music industry often screwed over artists happen to be Jewish so I think Kanye projecting that a lot.

No infantilizing him and sorry for the pain he caused

But the reason why I say I’m a zoomer Huey, i acknowledge that yes black Americans been fucked over…but we also have a lot of self destructive habits

Also look how black activists say Asians are white adjacent or how magical negeroes thought the fuck up “joke” saying upset white people are the most dangerous animal on the planet

Candace and Kanye bigotry…isn’t surprising when a huge chunk of the black community have the “Jews ran the world!” mindset but changed the Jews part to “ white people”

Yeah tomorrow anon but people acting shocked about their bigotry…sure if you turn a blind eye to the unhinged dog until the rabies comes out

Shit that kinda racist, but if people switch “white people” to “Jews” in the racist af but Society approved statements black activists got

You would think it’s a black edition of Mein Kampf

Sorry, the long puzzles things is meant to show how the Templars influence history while the assassins desperately try to stop them

no need to apologize I try to give some time to the things folks send, even most of the silly stuff.

Oh yes I know about Ford Antisemitism, ac acknowledge that in the long video I sent As Ford sent a certain item to Agent “H” to kick off WW2

Ya he was pretty bad, not uncommon at that time either, Louis Armstrong had a Jewish Lithuanian couple that lived next to him as a kid taught him some of their song, he found an affinity with 'these white people that got treated like us black people' always war a Star of David in their honor, if you have a little time to spend reading about it, it's a good story.

Ugh, okay which king I have to strangle in hell that decided that Jews were only good at doing “dirty” jobs like money?

That would be the Pope, Christians couldn't extract usury from other Christians so Jews did the loans since they could do them.

They were excluded from lots of jobs, that's why we wound up with so many of them in the arts and sciences and also entertainment.

Stayed in their own communities because not only community, but kosher is easier that way too, among other things.

I sure hope that antisemitism don’t come back like virus because people wanted to treat a geopolitical conflict like it a fucking kids cartoon

Feels like we're getting there, sadly, I hope I'm doing enough to stop it.

Oh btw, yes their fully grown adults, but Candace and Kanye antisemitism? Welll It’s heavily because how my community views the world Yes I’m 24, but allow me to explain

all ears

You see black Americans, since the fucking womb, that white people are the root of all our problems. Like years ago I learn that Africans sold Africans to Europeans But if my reactions to the horrific connections the Dahomey is to the black American diaspora Imagine the mentally hell older blacks may have

Best part of that movie was forcing people to confront that at last.

But back to my community…the problem is that my community have extremely bigoted views that is normalized. Like i remember someone saying that black activists (and many blacks in general) views white people the same way Nazis viewed the Jews But about Kanye because someone pointed out a line in Micheal Jackson song. Given how a lot of powerful people in the music industry often screwed over artists happen to be Jewish so I think Kanye projecting that a lot. No infantilizing him and sorry for the pain he caused

Look up ice cube's "no vaseline" dis track aimed at Eazy-E (E would be shredding his old mates lyrically if he hadn't got AIDS) I don't remember the exact line but you can tell cube isn't fond of the Hebrews even though he'd be dead on the street if not for the one that helped make him and the rest of them famous, also kind of homophobic and honestly saying I hope you get prison raped dry is not something anyone should say.

But the reason why I say I’m a zoomer Huey, i acknowledge that yes black Americans been fucked over…but we also have a lot of self destructive habits Also look how black activists say Asians are white adjacent or how magical negeroes thought the fuck up “joke” saying upset white people are the most dangerous animal on the planet

Go back to Louis Armstrong and what he'd said about that couple, now look at where the two groups are currently,

MLK was a Zionist and the Jewish community for the most part joined in with the black community for civil rights marches and protests and all that.

I don't know how Politico can actually determine his motive for doing it, but still the point here is that even in 1995 there were clubs that had a no blacks no Jews on the door, still are some too.

I always like people that say shit like this, guy doesn't care who you love and the only colour he cares about at the club is $$$green$$$

But that's beside the point, 1995 even if you could pay the $100,000 fee there were clubs all over the world you couldn't get into if you were black or Jewish, really should be more solidarity there I'd think.

Candace and Kanye bigotry…isn’t surprising when a huge chunk of the black community have the “Jews ran the world!” mindset but changed the Jews part to “ white people”

nick cannon ( I think) stepped in it a while back too, cost him his tv gig

Yeah tomorrow anon but people acting shocked about their bigotry…sure if you turn a blind eye to the unhinged dog until the rabies comes out Shit that kinda racist, but if people switch “white people” to “Jews” in the racist af but Society approved statements black activists got

@inverted-race is fun, dead but the race swapped posts are still there and good fun

You would think it’s a black edition of Mein Kampf

They made a feminist one and it got peer reviewed and published in a academic journal, team that did that one did several and I think all but four were published, so why not.

Gonna have to wait on that other one till tomorrow, it's time to start shutting my brain off I'd like to get some final fantasy VI time in, still need to order a controller so I can do the other games I have that I really want to play but I keep forgetting to get a controller.

#zoomer huey anon

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squonkinaswamp · 1 year ago

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okay I just need to get all my thoughts out here because across the spiderverse?? and absolute masterpiece

SPOILERS!!!!!!! for across the spiderverse btw if you didn’t catch that /////

I absolutely loved and am blown away by just how different across the spiderverse is from into the spiderverse. I love both films so so much for very different reasons but it was so much more adult in their struggles and their problems. it wasn’t better, per se, but it was amazing in it’s own way. everything about it was amazing and I can’t even begin to imagine anything of what they’re going through. all of them.

the beginning sequence with gwen was so ANGSTY I loved how she introduced miles it was so good and then the fight with her dad was so bad I actually cried in the theatre it was that good. and then fight between MILES and HIS parents and then we find out he’s only 15?? and he’s already going through so much?? they expect so much from him but he started out as spiderman when he was 14 and he’s been living a double life since like fuck. I thought he was older than that. he’s so precious though and you can tell that the pressure if getting to him in some of the most humane scenes I’ve seen in animated media, which I am absolutely loving.

then when he found out why gwen was actually there and then AGAIN when he found out that she wasn’t trying to protect him but in fact earth-50101 because of the canon events with the cop, just the absolute BETRAYAL that he felt in that moment and how he just needed to get away and cope and deal but he couldn’t, because he was missing and can we just talk about how he found all of this out within a few hours?? like the whole movie took course over a couple of hours and we’re just expected to what. be fine with that? honestly how miles didn’t cry I don’t know.

then when miles was going through the go home machine I was on the edge of my seat bc 42?? that's not his world huh?? and then he WENT there are rio had weird eyes and then it CLICKED and FUCK it was so good what the hell and THEN when he went upstairs and uncle aaron looked at his phone it was like. shit. oh god. so THATS whats happening. and THEN, PLOT TWIST, since there's no spiderman in that universe jeff died and miles became the PROWLER but it does raise the question was he ever supposed to be spiderman? in the original universe of 42? or was he always destined to be the prowler but on a chance encounter ended up destroying the lives of so many people by becoming a second spiderman in a completely different universe?? because we KNOW that he's an anomaly and we KNOW that he wasn't meant to become spiderman and because he DID the 1610 peter parker died and he basically replaced him and screwed up 1610 because he inadvertently created the Spot(love what they did with the bagel) so. was he originally supposed to become the prowler?? in universe 1610?

and fuck how is he dealing with the knowledge that HE'S the reason that the universes are so screwed up and he can't fix it no matter how hard he tries. because what does it matter? he can't do anything. and it sucks. and now he’s stuck in another universe that isn’t his and he can’t do anything about it, he can’t even cope with any of the stuff he learnt in the past few hours because he’s got a fight to do, he’s got to fight himself and god what about jeff and rio? they don’t know anything, only that he isn’t safe, only that he’s gone and they have no idea that he’s fighting for his life, for their lives at the moment, after finding out he’s simultaneously destroying everything everywhere else. they just think he’s snuck out, they have no idea what’s going on. and they won’t find out, they can’t, because miles /isn’t there/. It’s messing with me god.

I’m actually crying though across the spiderverse was so good and incredible and I’m screaming throwing a fit throwing up it was so cool and so good and I can’t. I just. woah. holy fuck.

but also characters I loved them all and the MUSIC was so good and matched the scenes so well and the OST WAS INCREDIBLE thank you daniel pemberton for this masterpiece and the ART. the art was so good. it was incredible and outstanding and amazing and holyyyyy shit so. I loved all the different styles they incorporated and yeah all the easter eggs were so cool but the art style overall was incredible.

cannot wait for beyond the spiderverse and the story they continue to tell.

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nathaniacolver · 2 years ago

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need to live tweet my playing of totk but don't wanna be annoying on my irl so i'll just do it here. this is the first bit:

BEWARE: TOTK SPOILERS BELOW

"i know i'll be ok with you link" okay they are IN LOVE

WHERE IS LINK IN THE CUTSCENE. THEY HAVE TO SHOW HIM IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS OR I WILL FRET

ZONAI????!!?!!?!??!?!?! (Listen i forgot the gameplay trailer)

me walking at a respectable pace as to not leave zelda's side

BABE THERE'S TOO MUCH MALICE HERE WHY ARE WE STILL GOING

just talked to zelda and she was like "i'm so excited!!!!" GIRL DO YOU NOT HAVE AN OUNCE OF SELF-PRESERVATION

swinging the sword swinging the sword

WAIT WHY DO I HAVE 30 HEARTS WHYYYYYYY DO I HAVE 30 HEARTS

THEY JUST ADDED AN INSTRUMENT OR TWO OH FRICK AND IT'S GETTING LOUDER oh i already love the sound engineering

GLOWY SPIRAL????

DON'T PICK UP THE TEAR BABY oh frick oh frick

OH THAT'S WHY I HAD 30. FOR THE DRAMA

CAN'T LOOK AT MY TYPING I'M WATCHING THE CHTSCENE

OH FRICK IT JUST SHATTERED OH FRICK

gamer lean on x games mode rn

mans said screw it i'm out. fly you fools

BRO I WAS TYPING THE ABOVE WHEN HE LUNGED AND I GOT SO NERVOUS THAT I'D HAVE TO FIGHT FJSKDKJSJDAHHDLADG THE JOYCONS ARE FLOPPING AROUNS ON MY ARMS

THAT TEAR BETTER PROTECT HER I HOPE THAT'S WHAT THAT GLOWY YELLOW WAS

BRO WHAT. THE BLUE GLOWING IS GOOD. this is so anakin skywalker of him btw

baby don't you worry i'm gonna make link level up so fast so he can come and get you

oop naked link again AND HIS SHORTS ARE SHORTER????

nice mani link

A MAN'S VOICE???????? WHO IS IT WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW THEIR NAMES

okay so The Voice just gives him an arm. okay

the malice or whatever stopping just at the triforce is Symbolic, i think

is it really a master sword or is it a master Dagger

i rly be taking screenshots of everything like i'm a tourist

okay green hand thing go off!!! oop give it a high five and it turns blue and goes behind you as a save point

*taking notes* okay cogs are cogging.......gears are gearing..........

now why the frick did it have me dive like that. what was The Reason

i Forgor that link can tread water indefinitely. swimming king

not me searching every nook and cranny like there's gonna be secrets in this Cave

PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARCHAIC PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wait i put them on and now he looks like a gladiator.......cardboard skirt & Jesus sandals........ok shirtless king

oop just noticed his hair animations & the layers are CRAZY but it lookin good

wait so they was underground......and now in the sky...................i have Theories

they said aerial view shot once again but i mean AERIAL

ope no climbing, you're already too high in the sky

the lighting looks SO GOOD!

it's so silent up here i love it.

the MUSIC AHHHH

WAIT EVERYTHING'S AN ISLAND???? OH WE WAY THE FRICK UP IN THE SKY LINK. HOW CAN YOU BREATHE THAT THIN AIR

this game is making me fall In Love. with Silence

TREE BRANCH YES THE WORLD IS HEALING

apples. i could Cry

is that a broom?????

wait so the soldiers are bad and the stewards are good. it's just like real life!

why do i have the feeling that this is a /different/ princess zelda that left this to him.......oh nvm it's just the purah pad. what happened to the sheikah slate???

is link gonna look at pics on it and get emo

wait so. garden of time (ok Christianity reference). so zelda has lived through some trash already and is like poor link in the past. let's give him this

aw it's lonely :(

YES WE'RE GETTING ZELDA RIGHT AWAY I COULD CRY

ooh the purah pad looks slick (i'm so sorry but why does that sound like a tampon brand LIKEEEEE)

high five!!! oh wait high fives have OTHER FUNCTIONS???!?!

now why did the bridge have to do all that fancy stuff. (ik it's for stability or whatever don't @ me engineers)l

just smashed some pots. link's Primeval Urge

ok so linear path for Diving. got it.

that's a hot-footed frog.......................i could cry. i AM crying

picked up a rock. now i just have to see some Chickens

there are Grates in the ground and you can peek below. idk why i like that so much.

i am hunting these ostriches like i might die

THAT GUY SNUCK UP ON ME SO SILENTLY. I DECIDED I HATE FLOATING MACHINE ENEMIES (don't worry i was fine)

why did i try to light a frog on fire

#totk spoilers #okay that's it i have to go to work now but enjoy.#i do this bc i don't have a reaction yt channel but IF I DID #also i had to edit this ob my computer bc i accidentally added a poll and idk how to get rid of it #totk #tears of the kingdom #loz #playthrough

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quodekash · 2 years ago

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i went to bed instead of watching abaab and i woke up and im ✨sick✨

its not the plague but i have a sore throat and im really congested and i feel like a dump truck ran over me and poured all the bin juices in my brain, but its fine cos im here, im queer, and threezo are near

CONTENT WARNING: if youve seen this episode, youll be aware that there will be discussions of rape, sexual assault, and pedophilia. if any of these topics are triggering for you, please take the measures you require to stay safe, and please call emergency services if you require help, and talk to someone you trust. remember: you are not alone, and there will always be people who love and care for you, but you havent yet met some of them. stay safe everyone, i love you

i cannot for the life of me remember how the last episode ended so its lucky that they have little summaries at the starts of episodes cos otherwise id have no clue whats going on

OH YEAH THOOP WAS ARRESTED

hang on, dont they still need to go to work?

i cant remember what day it is and what they were doing before cher got that phone call but still

dang it ive already had a cup of tea today but i think i need another one

THREEZO HELLO (ft jack's luscious hair on the side there)

THREEZO ARE SO SWEET WHY ARE YOUR FACES LIKE THAT JACK AND TUB

okay, yeah, fair

HE IS HAPPY

HIS HAIR IS FLUFFY AND HE IS HAPPY

GREHJKDFGKJRB

aww

AWWWHHHH

awhh thoop is cryinggg

bro is in desperate need of a hug

IM GONNA CRYYYY

i love deep platonic bonds

especially when its found family

fnjgbhfbvhfb

**gasp** despicable!

HELLO THREEZOOOOO

hes so prettyyyy

and hes also so prettyyyyyy

GJKRTBNFDHKJRG I LOVE THEM

am i crying? yes.

im crying a lot

i love threezo so much

the grip these two have on my mental health and sanity--

have i rewatched this scene four times? yeah. do i now kinda just wanna curl into a ball and sob for a day or two? yeah. unfortunately i have to keep watching the episode

okay so its literally like six hours later now, ive tried having two naps, ive had three cups of tea today, as much medicine as i can have, and the sickness has done nothing but get worse which is just so fun but the only reason i wasnt watching abaab is bc i was trying to sleep and that's just not happening so im continuing the episode now

the commentary is gonna be very little tho btw bc im having trouble making coherent thoughts through all the conjestion clogging my brain

the way they smile at each other is so 🥺🥹

im TRYING--

sorry, last week i couldnt stop talking about the freaking pomegranate i was eating, today i cant stop talking about how sick i am, ill try and shut up about it and just watch the episode lol

SCREW THAT GUY

VAFFANCULO

I HATE HIM

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

idk much about the mother

BUT THE STEPFATHER CAN GO SHOVE A PIGNA UP HIS CULO

look, i hate cops and law enforcement

but i even more hate thoop's stepfather

and law enforcement, unfortunately, have a lot of power, but thats fortunate in this situation bc they can force him to shut up which is nice

oh, wouldya look at that. i was right.

im not happy about it. its freaking horrible. and its even worse that it happens every day in every single country and state and city and suburb and yet nothing is being done about it.

um. yeah. thats all i can think of to say.

SHE HAD TO PUT UP WITH IT FOR THREE YEARS???

holy hell thats freaking disgusting

i hate this so much. not that they included this in the show, im really glad they included it because it's freaking disgusting and not talked about enough, especially in mainstream media and stuff. i just freaking hate that rape exists and people have to put up with it every single freaking day of their freaking lives, and NOTHING is happening to fix this freaking disgusting issue

this episode is a lot heavier than i was expecting and idk if anything im saying makes any sense because im too sick for this and the things that happened are making me even more sick

HUZZAH, I WAS RIGHT

AND THIS TIME ITS A GOOD FEELING THAT IM RIGHT

HES NOT HOMOPHOBIC

HUZZAH, HUZZAH, PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JACK'S ALMIGHTY FLUFFY BEAUTIFUL HAIR

sobbing, i cant do this, theyre too sweet

AH SHOOT, I JUST REALISED IVE BARELY DRANK ANY WATER TODAY

as per usual, your hair is on fleek today, my friend

he's angry at laem, but his hair is perfection

the perfect way to get someone to shut up: shove food in their mouth as fast as possible (im using this at some point) (also how the hell is his hair so pretty i love his hair too much. i think i always spend more time talking about jack's hair than i do talking about the actual episode)

gun's mother has such a sweet sounding voice but her words sting like poison, jeez

OH HELL YES ITS THIS PART

IVE SEEN SCREENSHOTS

side note: look at three and zo's knees pressed together gjfngjbhfgbh

HEYYY GUYS

ITS SO FUNNY

WHAT ARE THEY DOING WATCHING SIMM

wait so. bad buddy exists as a series inside the msp universe. simm exists as a series inside the abaab universe. what's next??

the frame changed suddenly, kluen was looking down slightly earlier and now he's looking right in nuea's eyes (yes i had to include jack's hair in the screenshot, so what?)

side note: i love all of jack's ear piercings (and his hair) so much

(ive now used all my 30 photos for this post so you just have to deal with that. on the bright side, the final photo was of jack's beautiful face and beautiful earrings and beautiful HAIR)

i love this friend group so much, theyre all just sitting in a circle in their gaming chairs supporting cher as much as possible in their own little ways and its so sweet and so happy and gfbhbrhgb

ignore your bfs phone calls only to show up at his house with food

AWWW, THE WAY HE JUST PULLS HIM INTO A WORRIED HUG AS SOON AS HIS HANDS ARE EMPTY- I LOVE THEMMMM

"promise me no matter what happens, we will fight it together" RGHBKRDFHGKRBDFHB

AWWWW TEHY KISSSSS

"(talking to himself) if your mum knows about this, she will hit you to death, cher" "know about what?" "she gave me only one heart and i gave it all to you" "youre as cheesy as i am" IM DYING WHAT THE HELL THEYRE SO SWEET

BRO CHILL

CALM DOWN

I DONT NEED TO SEE THIS

I MEAN LIKE GOOD FOR THEM

BUT WHY DO WE NEED SUCH A LONG SHOT OF GUN'S BARE ABS

theyre so soft with each other what the hell

"i just want to hear it from your mouth-" AND CHER CUTS HIM OFF WITH THE SOFTEST KISS EVER??? (well, not ever. no one can ever kiss as softly or lovingly as freaking akk, but that's neither here nor there) THAT ONE TINY MOMENT IS GONNA PLAY IN MY HEAD FOR AGES NOW OMG

keep the pants on please guys

oh thank goodness they finished the episode before it got to that, i appreciate that

anyway THAT WAS SO SWEET GBFHGBFHBHG

im desperately hoping that next episode will be mostly fluffy happiness bc i cant take much more of this seriousness, especially not if my sickness persists (which i really hope it doesnt, id love to be functioning this week)

um yeah. that was that. i hope you enjoyed that? sorry for all my ramblings about being sick, i just really hate being sick.

once again, i hope youre all safe and healthy, if you're not, i hope you can find a safe space and people you trust, please contact someone who can help you if you need it. i love you all, have a great week :]

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nerves-nebula · 1 year ago

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was wonderinv who to ask then saw ur poston art school and went . yo!

anyway can i ask hows art school? like . is it worth it?? whats the experience and everything like + do u regret ur decision to go there? (dont feel forced to answer any of these) (for context + incase it wasn’t obvious ive been wanting and thinking of going to one if ever given the chance)

Oh man, where to start. Well first of all some of the main reasons to go to art school are the resources and the connections.

If you wanna get into furniture for example, that’s a lot easier if you have access to a whole workshop with tons of different saws. I’ve learned to use three different book binders as well as done hand binding myself, which is great fun for me but idk how I’ll make money out of that.

The thing is that depending on your major/department, a lot of the stuff you do in art school you could theoretically do on your own as well. So if you think you have enough willpower to make your own schedule and find your own resources then I’d say do that, and work on building your portfolio so you can show it off if you ever get the chance. especially if you don’t really have the money for college (I’m incredibly lucky to have someone help me cuz otherwise I’d be screwed)

If I’m honest, I didn’t really want to go to college at the time of me applying. I was kind of interested in learning how to wrap cars, and I wanted to take a course in that, if you can believe it. but all of my parents kids have to go to college no matter what (as in my mom forced me to apply to college and then sent me off like “I can’t help you pay for college btw good luck!”) so it was inevitable that I was going to go to an art school. which is fine because i've also always kind of wanted to go to a school, i was just stressed about not being able to afford it haha.

THEN there's what kind of art school you're going to. I'm at one of the most prestigious fine arts schools in the USA, because though I got admitted to others, I couldn't afford to go to others. the one I'm at offered the most money, because they could afford to. Idk what I'm gonna do with this degree but im in graphic design rn so I'll probably do something in that field. and it helps that the name of my school is renowned.

but if you, say, want to get into animation you're probably going to NEED to go to an art school. even if you cant get into an animation school specifically, any art school at all is better than none when it comes to animation (I think, idk for sure i'm not interested in animation as a job. my friend is tho so maybe I'll ask him)

now, HOW is art school? WELL. I've heard this isn't uncommon, but the first year was literally actual torture. it was really really bad. it made me more suicidal than I'd been since I was 12 and it ALSO made me start cutting for the first time ever. but I survived it, and the second year was way better! (if still stressful) the first year is for where they try to kill you, and the second year is where they go "haha just kidding ok lets get into what you want to know" at least that's how it is at where I am.

DESPITE the pain, and despite how even now I'm anxious about going back, I don't regret it at all. I really like my classmates and I love my professors. I love a lot of the work I've done and the skills I've learned. I liked living on campus and being so close to all that Art Stuff, even if i was too tired all the time to ever go out to any of the events.

plus on a more personal level, anywhere is better than living with my parents. so even if it was hellish the first year, i'm at least happy that i got things done and i wasn't wasting away at home with my mom.

hope that answers all your questions :)

#nnstuff #ask #art college

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cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga · 1 year ago

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Man, that personal garage project post got me real curious. I wanna know more. I have a lot of questions but thankfully I just cut them down to a few major ones: When you started the project, did you make a proper schematic fully detailed and professional like or did you just start rough and improved it later on? Did you have all the tools or at least know which tools and equipment you needed in the beginning? How many items you had to order or just get new during the middle of the project (just give a % approximation)?

What was the hardest part of the project? The mechanical part, electronic part or a mix? What was the hardest mechanical part and electrical part btw? Are you willing to share all the possible schematics, list of items and any other project info that you are comfortable sharing? I'm not asking for anything personal or sensitive. Finally I have two questions that are just slightly related: Are you a machinist or an electrician? you have mentioned about you job before so I'm just confirming out of curiosity. Also can you share any schematics of projects, machines, parts you have worked on? I love that type of stuff so I'd be eager getting anything you don't mind sharing. This is for everything other than the garage project. I know I'm asking questions like a damn supervisor lmao 🤣 but really just wanna engage in shit. Gotta have some fun with tumblr

"When you started the project, did you make a proper schematic fully detailed and professional like or did you just start rough and improved it later on?"

I did draft up an entire series of schematics and blueprints they arent very comprehensive or details but I had to so I could submit them as a permit for the city I live in, though I did have to make on the fly adjustments to my plans as I went.

"Did you have all the tools or at least know which tools and equipment you needed in the beginning? How many items you had to order or just get new during the middle of the project (just give a % approximation)?"

I did have to buy a lot of the specialty tools for the project but Luckily I am pretty well stocked inheriting a bunch of tools from my father and grandfather best tool I already owned was a nice Multi meter I think the only Tools I really needed to spend money on was a conduit bender and cutter everything else could be done with screw driver bits I had. so maybe 5%

"What was the hardest part of the project? The mechanical part, electronic part or a mix? What was the hardest mechanical part and electrical part btw?"

Oh for sure It was the electrical part, the mechanical aspects of putting together the conduit bending and putting in the walls was something I have experience with, but I had only wired a few 120v outlets before this, I had to learn how to wire an entire subpanel properly witch took some damn doing Ill tell you

"Are you willing to share all the possible schematics, list of items and any other project info that you are comfortable sharing? I'm not asking for anything personal or sensitive."

Schematics are a no go since they had to be submitted as apart of my permit I consider those protected papers on a legal side of things. I dont even thing I have a list of the materials anywhere!

"Are you a machinist or an electrician? you have mentioned about you job before so I'm just confirming out of curiosity."

I am an Areospace Machinist NOT an electrician I took a big risk doing this project I have no training as an electrician. Repairing the mechanical structure of a plane engine requires no knowledge of wiring at all.

Also can you share any schematics of projects, machines, parts you have worked on? I love that type of stuff so I'd be eager getting anything you don't mind sharing. This is for everything other than the garage project.

Sadly this also falls under legally unable to disclose more due to NDA's and things that I am under than personally uncomfortable with sharing, I really wouldn't even feel comfortable saying what company I work for.

#Ask #Friend #HOLY SHIT THIS WAS A LONG ASK #Thank you for the interest in my projects

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hana-the-ghostieee · 9 months ago

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so remember this bahooey? if you don't feel like clicking, uhm basically i took the screw you pusu band, tuyu's/omutatsu's bus-chan from the songs anoyo-iki no basu ni notte saraba and shuuten no saki ga aru to suru naraba and wondershow-ified her cuz she somehow ends up getting in some of my ruikasa posts (that barely exist cuz i almost never make them. dw my head is brimming with other less angsty ideas. [insert fluffy beach scene here but we're not talking about that now])

and well... i never really mentioned what happened to ruikasa with the inclusion of bus-chan to wxs soooo uhm. here.

so you know how bus-chan's songs are about suicide, right? uhh yeah... (i think you know where i'm going with this I'M SORRYYY)

uhm MEGA trigger warning suicide under the cut (uh oh. also besides the trigger warning this text post is VERY long)

uh huhh. so my ultimate scrunklies end up oofing themselves. don't ask me how or why. somehow and somewhy (a part of me wants to say they deserved this for eating my brain packed with fandoms at their fixer dinner date but also. THEY DIEDDD WAAAAAA)

i'm thinking for tsukasa it's more of a kako ni situation where he somehow messes up on one of their shows and it all just. spirals down from there while for rui we just. jump right to anoyo-iki

and right before darkness, a butt ton of white triangles cover their vision, as if they're entering sekai and all that jazz (they oof separately btw. and in numerical order, 1 goes before 2)

and then when they come to (apart from each other obviously) they wake up in essentially the real world, just. there's no one there. not even miku. (also did i mention it's like midnight forever. heh 12:00) so they explore this "sekai" and stuff! and it's just you know blah blooh bleh what is this place is this where you go when you die i must've deserved this then. where this au starts is essentially shuuten no saki "a warm flower bed, how inviting.../and bathing under this sparkling river.../and at night, all of the stars, they're just so close/but even so, there isn't anyone here!"

and before you ask yes. i am sitting on the floor, on my knees, raising my hands, asking myself what i have done and why to reach this

i'm literally just doing this on the floor

and theeen. they finally find each other. at first they're like OH MY GOD WHERE WERE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE with the huggies and the crieses and then the realization sets in WAIT YOU DIED TOO NOOOO YOU NEVER DESERVED TO DIE TTTTT^TTTTT just. "i just never wanted you to ever end up like me"

did i forget to mention. uhm time in this "sekai" (i'll keep using quotes idk what to call it) works differently than time irl, so irl the whole looking for an endpoint thing takes about a week, but in the "sekai". honestly who knows how much time has passed.

anyways from that point they're just working out their feelings. the main goal here is to have the accept what has happened and move on, i guess? they're supposed to find their self-worth (which in this state? is going to take a while.) but also. ruikasa confessioooon hehe!!! so back when they were still alive they had crushes on each other but of course. never got around to saying it. so now they've confessed and are trying to make the other see what he sees and then they slowly start to regret oofing themselves

from the start of this thing about two days has passed irl and yeah everyone pretty much found out they're gone (saki was lying on the floor screaming crying the liquid water out of her body. leo/need suspected something and was met with that scene. and they're all going to comfort her. basically time to take a break from whatever this above paragraphs are.)

anyways when they (scrunkles) finally accept they are worth something and regret oofing themselves and are like. "if there's an endpoint, a way out of here, please, i want you to go, just take it and leave" oh my goodness finally

the sun rises and miku FINALLY arrives (not like any miku or version of miku bound to any sekai but THE miku hatsune) (the appearance of hatsune miku) and she's like "hi i'm hatsune miku, not the wondershow miku but THE hatsune miku big deal i know. so i see you've finally realized your true feelings once more and blah" and they go "okay so can you... i don't know... resurrect us into the real world of humans?" and then she goes blink blink "i may be the one to watch over all of the sekais, and maybe control them but even i only have so much power. i can take you to another place, but it won't be what you expect." and then they're like "...what--" and then miku takes them to ~the in between~. you know. the in between of all the sekais to ever exist. the white triangley space where you as in the player can talk to miku. anyways cue journey by deco*27 (the miku version)

so miku's like "welcome to the in between! this is the place in between all the sekais and explanation stuff there are about as many sekais as there are people probably and whatever and here's rin and len and everyone else, say hii" and then she goes "so. as vocaloids we can just show up in any sekai whenever we want, but once we enter, we get another persona influenced by the feelings of the creators, or in your and mafuyu's case, creator and can't leave. in your cases thooouuugh, i'm pretty sure you can just. hop in and out of a sekai kind of like how you do normally, except when you exit a sekai you go back here rather than the real world. you can also enter a sekai and project onto their devices too! so you're basically one of us vocaloids, without the robotic voice" and then rui's like "...so if i hop in say this sekai i'll interact normally and stuff, just when i exit i go back here" and miku goes "mhm!" meanwhile tsukasa's just. "WHERE IS SAKI'S SEKAI I NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER NOOOOWWWW SHE'S PROBABLY CRYING OVER ME" and kaito's like "okay okay. hold on i'll pull up the school sekai for you" and yay tenma siblings reunion!!! and he explains his situation and stuff and his boyfriend follows him and they explore all the different sekais like me scrolling the ruikasa tag on ao3 and whatever.

i do feel like they'd probably hang around the empty sekai more (cuz ~ eMoTiOnS ~ and ~ fEeLiNgS ~ and they have hands on experience with the suicide and the self harm)

wow the freakish amount of crack-fic i could work on from there is stupid. just imagine not only tsukasa, but rui too showing up in the street sekai. "hmm. i sense a new presence." "WAUGH HOW WHAT WHY ARE YOU HERE" "wait HOW DID THEY GET HERE" "guys calm down they're just rui and tsukasa??? i mean yeah, how did they get here but why are you guys scared of them??" "WE HAVE TO BE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING DEAD HOW-WHA-WHY-WHAAA???" "wait they're dead??? oh my god what's going on???"

hweh that's all =w=

#ruikasa #tuyu #tw suicide #project sekai #prsk

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owlixx · 11 months ago

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CoD Notes: BO2 Beat

Got this game done start to finish in record time so it’s all a bit of a blur, but I’ll jot down my overall impressions before going level by level.

Overall, I like this game a lot. I think it’s not a hot take to say it is mechanically stronger than Black Ops, but narratively weaker. Finally getting hit markers and class customization in the campaign is a godsend, and I’d rank them at the top of the list of new features. Somewhere in the middle would be the “branching paths” story decisions, and towards the bottom would be the strike force missions. Oh, also I do like the campaign mission challenges too.

Now, the class loadout system did just turn into me using a threat finder scope on an LMG towards the end, but I appreciate that I got to choose that for myself. And I like certain gear being unlocked from challenges to encourage replaying. If I had played this on the 360 where I got games much less frequently, I likely would’ve replayed this campaign tons, but I got this on PC after becoming a PC gamer and having a zillion games to play.

To elaborate on the Strike Force missions, I simply do not like them. I only did the tutorial one and I barely survived. I had a lot more patience for these as a kid but I just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe it’s just because I’m in a rush to get to the next game, but I just want an objective and some guys to kill. I also think this would’ve made more sense as a take on MW3’s Survival mode, with the option to purchase troops between waves and using each multiplayer map.

The split narrative of this game is another “new feature” I suppose, and it’s just…fine. I like having an entire second set of weapons to play with, but this felt very unnecessary. It makes me wonder if they already had some of these levels or story bests designed before deciding to go futuristic. I don’t think anything they said about Mason/Woods really needed to be said, and I may have preferred to have kept the action focused in either 2025 or 1985.

For that matter, a lot of the “high tech” sci fi stuff like the wing suit, grippy globes, spider drone, etc. feel a little shoe horned and unnecessary.

I wanna say this is also the first of these games to just start making up entirely fictional weaponry, which makes sense given the setting but still kind of contributed to the franchise’s identity going forward.

Raul Menendez is just an okay villain. In theory, he’s more complex than previous villains because of his dead sister, but that doesn’t really connect to his weird cult or dark knight joker antics, it just feels like they needed a reason for him to hate Woods. He comes across as a kind of…wannabe villain. Sure, the Black Ops 1 villains are just standard evil Russians, but somehow that felt more believable than “a cartel guy from the 80’s becomes the leader of a billion person cult in 2025 just to really screw with one singular guy”. They never even really explore the implication of his cult having 1-2 billion members. Also I’m already misremembering some of the details of Raul with some of the details of Hades from Advanced Warfare.

This is already starting to take up a bit of time to write out so I’ll just rattle off some mission thoughts from memory rather than pull up the list of every mission.

The hotel resort mission - kind of a cool concept and decent in execution.

Driving a car that one time - I really fumbled with it, and weird that it lets you pick whether to do the car or the drone.

Opening mission - seems weird to open with basically a Black Ops 1 epilogue but it’s fine enough.

President saving/Final mission - a little toasty in terms of difficulty, but fine.

Also it’s so funny to me any time they transition to Woods by saying “hey remember that one time my uncle told us about a story?”

Oh btw I got the worst ending possible.

The mission where you play as Raul is so silly to me because he has a ton of health and a melee attack but I died anyways so my version of events is Raul huffing and puffing and being very mad about his sister dying but still carefully popping out of cover with a scoped rifle.

I wanna say this is kind of the beginning of a lot of grey hallways being a go to for the series.

I do really like that the HUD is different between the 80s and 2020s even down to the hit marker visual.

Oh, and I did really enjoy the one 80s sniping mission.

And the scene where Woods is tricked into shooting Mason is a lot of fun! …but it’s no Black Ops 1.

Finally, I did play a singular match of Town on zombies. Managed to find a guy online! He didn’t know English well but we still managed to interact a small bit and got to round 18 or so before I blew it and brought us both down. Got a ray gun on my first try at the box! Well, my third try, but the first try where all I wanted was a ray gun. Okay, fourth try because I had gotten monkeys on my actual first try.

Also couldn’t find a match in game so I hopped on Plutonium (fan server add on) and played one match. I mean, it’s not bad, but I don’t think I feel the urge to revisit the multiplayer of this era as badly as I thought I would. It is hilarious seeing just how much I used the pump shotgun in this game online and nothing else nearly as much in my career record.

In the rankings, hmm…probably below BO1/MW2 but above MW1/3

#CoD #call of duty #black ops 2 #black ops #bo2

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extsev · 2 years ago

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The Silly Story PT 1

(FOR MY FRIEND AND I, READ IF U WANT BUT JUST KNOW IT ISNT AN X READER) THIS IS AN AU OF SOUTH PARK BTW

This high schools a hell hole. Mila and I are considered "the weird kids," as you may call it. For some reason, we're not bullied as much as the others. We're kind of just, ignored?

There's these four kids. Eric (well we call him Cartman because its his last name,) Kyle, Stan, and Kenny.

Eric wears a red sweater with a blue scarf, and dark brown sweatpants. His outfits pretty simple! He doesn't really talk much, he's nice.

Kyle wears a trapper hat, with fluffy flaps to cover his ears. He has a black turtle neck, with an orange button-up jacket on top, black sweatpants, green gloves and a blue necklace that adorns on top of his outfit.

Stan wears a red button-up, with a half zipped brown jacket. He wears blue jeans. He used to wear a blue and red beanie, but eventually ditched in middle school.

Kenny's outfit is my favorite. (Along with Kyles, but shh...) He wears an orange parka, with light brown cargo pants. He used to like matching his pants and parka with the same color, but decided the brown looked better. Good on you for color theory! Instead of hiding his face with the hoodie like he used to do, he just wears a fabric mask to school.

During the years they've gone to this school they've just made it worse. They torture the kids here to the point some even went to the hospital. I don't know why the school doesn't do much about it. The most they get is a suspension, never kicked out of school.

Surprisingly, even though my bestie and I are "weird kids," we're not beaten up. We're just ignored. That's good, but it kinda sucks when no one knows who you are.

"Sev! Wake up girl, it's lunch time. I gotta go get my lunch. And, y'know, you don't have to since you get the free lunch shit.... Sev? Heellllooooo...? Girl, are you narrating your life in your head again?" I wake up from my trance, as Mila snapped in my face.

"Fuck- Sorry! And uhhh... Maybe..." I shooed her away as I got up in embarrassment.

She facepalmed, and dragged me into the hall. "Ughhhh... What have we talked about..? This ain't no Disney movie! Plus, it's really distracting you now. All you do is zone out and imagine scenarios!"

"But it's fun! Plus," I brush my pants off from the dust of my chair, "I don't have to deal with being ignored 25/8 if I imagine that stuff!"

"You'll still be alone eiithherrrr wayyyyyy!! Although, you do have me!" Mila flipped her hair smiling, as I walked away. "Noooo! Don't leave! I need to go to my locker!"

I chuckle and turn to her, "Just meet me in the lunch room, m'kay?" (haha.. mkay..? ... shhh)

IN THE CAFETERIA

I grab my lunch, and walk over to the spot her and I always sit in. Suddenly, I bump into a tall dude. Bruh. Move, the fu-

OH. Okay, never mind. It's Kyle. Oh shit. I knocked his stuff out of his hands too. I'm definitely screwed, this is how I become known. Literal dead meat.

"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Let me get your stuff." I mutter, reaching for his bag.

He slapped my hand off his bag. "Don't even bother," he spoke, picking it up. "Who the hell even are you? I've never seen your stupid face around here."

"Oh! Uh, I'm Sev! I'm still really sorry.." I scratched my neck, I'm so stupid. He stayed silent for a moment, but looked to his friends.

"Sit with us."

HUH? BITCH WHAT? HELLO? "Well uh, I always sit with my friend Mila!-"

"Sit. Now. She can sit with us too." He told Cartman to push a seat out on the opposite end of the table, and he patted it.

"Well, if you insist..?" I sat down near Cartman, who clearly was always terrified. How is he still friends with those 3? Well, I mean he is stuck. I spot Mila, and wave at her to gain her attention. She stands in total shock, sweating at the sight of the boys. She runs over, clinging onto the sleeve of my blue hoodie.

"Why are you sitting with them..? They could completely bite your face off!" She whispers into my ear, as they glare at her.

"C'mon, sit down! It'll be fine!" I whisper back, and drag her onto a chair.

"So.. What do you guys do after school for fun?" Stan questions, poking at his food.

"Well, we like to go to 7-11! Or that good ramen place on park!" I spoke, as Mila looks at me with terror in her eyes.

"Sick. Which 7-11?"

I draw a line of the road with my fingers as I talk, "Y'know the one near the gas station? And the little park right there!"

"What do you get there?" Kenny finally talked, shocking Mila and I. I thought he doesn't talk?

"I love to get orange Monster! Or a coke-" I state, but Mila cuts me off (although I don't care because I was about to stop talking anyways.)

"I like pink lemonade!" Mila slowly lowers down because she talked. "Sorry.."

"Mila it's okay girlll!" I reassure her, patting her shoulder. Kenny leaned over, whispering in Stans ear. Stan nodded and whispered back, as Kyle added on. Cartman, Mila, and I sat there confused.

"Uh, do you wanna like.. Hang out with us after school? Kenny'll pay for you guys."

Mila and I look at each other giggling like idiots, and I exclaim, "Heck yes! We'd love that!"

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castle-dominion · 1 year ago

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4x23 always

Liveblog

ooh <3 always, great title!

I can't believe it has been a whole season since the shot! Good recap sequence!

Ok lmao both my father & I have fallen down mountains before. You cannot catch yourself like that, & if you do then you are probably able to swing yourself to the side to land on that balcony there. Like you can see, she pulls herself to get a better grip there!

But once one arm falls, you need to pull it back up & grab a different (non-sweaty) part of the ledge. & while yes your fingers are strong, you would do better to Bring Up Your Other Hand

Ok def sounded like castle not "man" as the captions said, then it sounded like "someone" pretending to be castle, then it sounded somewhat like castle again. (first "beckett" might have been SD told to speak like castle, could have been a different person told so. Then it was def not castle, then it was someone pretending to be castle & then the "hang on" was castle again.)

Still tho, I don't much like the unrealistic hanging scene. Actually no I really did like it & I can find reasonable excuses for the stuff I find unreasonable. It's cool.

3 days earlier

no caps. I love it.

Alexis <3 <3 <3

oh lmao she is valedictorian. I sometimes relate castle & alexis to me & my mom, but in this situation mum is alexis (smart val) & I'm castle (barely passed).

or TWILIGHT! *blinks*

RC: You know, the most worthwhile things in life are often the most difficult. For example…

*phone rings from beckett*

RC: Wow, that really is a smart phone.

btw love the golden light

KB, with a bomb cute jacket: you're probably the guy who had nothing on but boxers underneath his gown.

Me: *ran away from my graduation & climbed my way on top of a giant dumpster/storage pod*

RC: That is so insulting. If you must know, I was naked underneath.

THEY ARE GOING ON A DATE A DATE A DATE

KB: You coming, Castle?

SDFHSKJDHF I LOVE IT

Hm, two shots...

Love a shoe thing

Ooh lockpicks. Nice. I finally picked one of my locks the other day. I was using my rake tho, not my feeling peg so I would not be easily able to recreate it. I want one of those clear locks that you can see through.

Cazadores, love it when they tap the r.

Ryan is not super pretty rn

lmao poor guy down on his luck broke af, goes into the military? Sounds about right. Screw the military, this poor kid.

Captions were missing the accent on the N

Marisol? parasol? paraplui? paranormal? paralysis? analysis? synthesis? Synthwave? Literally my little brother & I went down a thought path like this. we both have adhd btw. I can't remember what thoughts came after that but we got all the way to fruit-by-the-foot.

How old is she?

I believe her.

F yeah girl. They keep blaming him & you just want to get the one who killed him.

They are so wrecking the crime scene lol.

Love how he smells the gun to see if it was fired recently ugh so good.

MONTGOMERY'S HOUSE???

Love how beckett & espt know his address but ryan looks shocked & castle (who was friends, or at least acquainted with montgomery before the show) did not know.

That was ryan not esposito who said that. This time I could tell.

Doesn't he have three kids? These pics are so weird. Roy, his wife, an older daughter, some boy... oh maybe it is a boyfriend. The baby boy would be what like 5 by now?

Girl I hope it is Not Loaded. In canada you need to have your gun locked up, though on the farm we would only lock up the bullets not the gun.

Love her.

So he knew when they were out of the house.

Btw I love espt's scar on his forehead & beckett's mole on her cheek, both give a little bit of Character to them.

Well obv this is going to be a plot heavy episode, but now is about the time I'd say it has to do with beckett not just roy & his files.

It has been like a year, or almost a year, why would you still have his old work files? nvm a year is a really short period of time

Her handwriting right now...

also I like her turtleneck.

I mean it COULD be a coincidence & it could be just for their own personal gain like maybe some rando roy put in jail & it is not actually related to johanna (in fact it makes things harder for The Big Bad Guy bc now Rando has the files)

Castle is still here, he did not leave after all <3.

She is stirring her coffee so smoothly.

KB: Say something reassuring.

RC: There are thousands of break-ins in New York City every year.

He's right: "Montgomery worked hundreds of cases. Just because this guy was after files doesn't mean he was after your mom's case."

Castle now might be the time to tell her

Green intro. Remind me to take a pic of that

Martha <3

Ooh transition! Murderboard to murderboard!

Yeah no she looks tired af.

Holding hands & they are not quite together yet but aaaah

Esposito looks nice & ryan looks incredible. Must pic this.

They blamed gangs for johanna's murder too

A MONTH after mongt was killed!?

That door really WENT. they BLEW IT UP.

Finally! They are wearing helmets!

Esposito *gets file* *face goes*

Ryan *what???? what is it?* *takes file* *face also goes*

RC: Well at least that's something. What was the crime scene?

JE: It was a shooting.

Me: ...!

their faces upon telling her, you can see how much they love her

Ryan's hands dangling there like that.

You can see ryan feeling conflicted abt this.

RC: Maybe you should be off this case.

Me: So true bestie

He brings out the first name. He loves her so much & wants her to be safe. In fact, castle has confided in him, like that time he asked ryan to keep an eye out for stuff related to johanna's murder but didn't tell becks nor espt.

(that was a weird way of pronouncing "why")

Esposito is right tho in the sense that nothing will stop her. (Except maybe castle telling her that someone forced him into a deal for her life.)

(also ryan's hair & the way he avoids eye contact)

I think I remember seeing something in the s5 bloopers but this is s4... hmm weird. I'll clip it for u tho.

No the heck you do not hold all the cards...

Who is "they"?

tbh smith is kind of unhelpful with that. I mean the rest of it was good but... idk man.

also like, they just killed another person. a thief. How many more people are they going to kill if they don't get taken down? Beckett would SO be willing to put her life in (temporary) danger to take down this ring that not only wants to kill her but also other ppl sometimes. Is her one life worth more than the lives of so many others who die because of this? They are turning a blind eye on so many things to let her live...

Interesting lighting. like the scene with alexis.

Girl he is more afraid of Them than of you.

Oh or not or he's telling her stuff

"make him whole" interesting words

Same "they"?

He KNEW he would come back to the gang & he accepted that price? Even tho he literally said he just wanted the loan? & the wife said he would not get into that?

Vincente Delgado, being poetic: Caught a glimpse before the night swallowed him whole.

KB: Yeah, but how did they know [he was desperate for money]? How do they know his background?

Me: bc they can tap into police files?

JE: Because they knew him from the military. He was hired by somebody he knew.

Me: or that

RC, trying to keep everyone safe: But whoever's gotten close to that secret is dead. I think it's clear we're in over our heads here.

JE: Speak for yourself, bro.

of course she is. If you get a mysterious $10k & don't question it & then your husband ends up dead you too would run.

Oh no the poor son!

WHAT is going ON with the lighting?

Also this room needs to be brighter than the observation room.

GIRL NO. WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH NATIVE KIDS IN THE FOSTER SYSTEM

Captions come on, I want to read what she said! I'm hard of hearing but I am NOT monolingual! If hearing people can understand the spanish, I WANT TO SEE THE SPANISH.

Someone military.

Getting files from the dead cop's house.

Montgomery would DEF have duplicate files hidden somewhere of the important files at least.

I love a good church. We have a native church where I live & it serves as the base church for other ethnic churches. The huge & popular italian church got its start here, the eritrean church is still in here just getting started... Plenty of good programs. It is a great church. It is one of the few churches I feel comfy going to, as a queer fnmi christowitch.

They just happen to sit near the back of the church?

& he just happens to show his face?

You can just go through the files manually.

What does cid stand for btw?

KR: How are we supposed to investigate if we can’t investigate?

My little bro while I had it paused: "I work in homicide." 'YOU KILL PEOPLE?'

Nice zoom there, love it, going into her window murderboard.

Wow a lot of shots from the past there, love it.

Oh & now we see castle doing castle investigation at home!

& we also see esposito doing investigation at night in the precinct, which kind of sucks for him, he hasn't gone home yet. (Also they haven't made his apartment set yet lol)

What is that, a pair of pliars? A razorblade?

& we don't get to see ryan investigating?

Wow he shows up at her house & esposito called her & he was ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT IT WAS A KEYCHAIN?

But at least it's a haystack.

He's going to tell her!

& he is not talking about mental health.

Ok so now Tell Her!

RC: Before Montgomery went into that hangar, he sent a package to someone, someone…he trusted. It contained information damaging to the person behind all this. Montgomery was trying to protect you. But the package didn’t arrive until after you’d been shot. Montgomery’s friend…struck a deal with them. If they left you alone, the package and the information inside would never see the light of day. But they made one condition—you had to back off. And that’s the reason you’re alive, Kate, because you stopped.

He's crying he loves her he really does.

Ok chill! Also he was not the one striking the deal! He was a pawn!

Yeah I thought he was behind the murder too but he could not have been bc why would he SAVE kate? maybe he is NOT saving her but he is preventing her from looking into it.

Yeah bro now is not the time to bring it up

(but I always love a "because I love you" & it is always SO good)

RC: How are you s—? Because of everything we’ve been through together! Four years I’ve been right here. Four years just waiting for you to just open your eyes, and see that I’m right here…and that I’m more than a partner. Every morning, I—I bring you a cup of coffee just so I could see a smile on your face, ((AAA <3 <3 <3)) because I think you are the most…remarkable…maddening…challenging…frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you, Kate, and if…that means anything to you, if you care about me at all, just don’t do this.

KATE NO HE WAS NOT THE ONE WHO CUT THE DEAL LIKE YOU WERE A CHILD. MONTGOMERY DID BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU LIKE HE IS YOUR FATHER. AAAAAAAGH

Actually yk what? He should have told her ages ago that someone struck a deal & she would have to back off. Except she would not have listened, just like this conversation now.

KB: Let them come. They sent Coonan, and he is dead. They sent Lockwood, and he is dead. And I am still here, Castle! And I am ready!

Ugh I had to stop my watch (which was the plan in the first place anyway) but I had the opportunity to try on my computer, I wanted to finish watching the ep & maybe post some photos that I could more easily get, but the issue is the library DVDs we have are blue ray. My computer won't play them. So yeah that's fun. I ended up doing some recording for the audiobook which I have not worked on in over a year. (About since I've been on T.)

Ok good morning I have work at 16.00 (so I need to leave before 14.45) & it is only 10 right now so I have plenty of time. But ofc I am working until midnight so that sucks pine sap. Tho I will be let off 15 minutes early so I can get home w/o breaking the law.

sdfjkfdhdsjkhhdffdkash aaaaaaah hdskjhfdska;euvn

& alexis is graduating... I cannot believe it is 2012. I mean half of 09 (s1 was short), all of 10, all of 11, & "all" of 12 (tho it has kind of only been 6m of 2012 bc she is graduating now in june)

I put my graduation tassle on my bike helmet. I rode my back to school during the warm months & I had an extra year of high school after graduating so I got to bike to school boasting that I graduated.

AC: I have watched or read every graduation address ever written and compiled all the best advice into one speech,

Me: Good idea, you overachiever

AC: and then I read it out loud. And guess what I sounded like? A pompous ass.

Me: Yeah

AC: I’m eighteen years old. What the hell do I know?

Me: You are correct, you are missing a lot more life experience than you will end up with, but you have a lot of experience now & your current speech will be relevant to the people who are here in this situation.

That's one of the reasons I stayed in high school for an extra year, I did not feel ready. I mean I also was not ready in the sense that I needed to upgrade courses but other than that I also did not feel ready on a psychological level. As an adhder my brain develops more slowly so at 18 I had the executive functions of like a 12 year old. That last year was great. I was legally an adult, I had mstured since g10, I knew the people & teachers, I was willing to accept help but I had also grown more independent, & I had gained the respect of people/staff. I was not some baby googoo gagaa, they were not robot overlords, we were people. Equals as people, though they had authority over me.

Oof fidgeting with the ring hhh

The lighting again.

They don't know what happened last night to get castle off the team & they are thinking "he would NEVER abandon beckett like that" so they know smth bad happened.

Cole Maddox.

But they looked him up so don't They know they're coming for him now?

I like how ryan is watching beckett this entire time through here, he is not looking at the driver's license he is watching beckett

Also since the tiger don't they need to tell ppl where they are going?

(also ryan's sweater is great)

Becks used to be the goody two shoes & now ryan is arguing her to go the pro way

The ether?

Wow it has been 13 years!?

First names

IDK IF YOU DO GOT THIS

"or the entire graduation" I mean like it is fine lmao

WHO from the 12th?

RYANNNN

beckett SAID he was off the team but ryan didn't believe her, he knew castle would help, like that time beckett got montgomery to kick him out & then monty still got castle back to pick her up & take her away from the hangar.

But now ryan probably thinks castle truly is NOT on the team anymore

Y'all at least wearing vests?

"get out of the way" lmao

Girl grab it & go OR un-ass the place

Oof those sexy Xs on the place

I thought they said this place was clear

Wow that was way too easy. he just Took Down both of them.

So he comes in from the front door I think. Maybe the door to the kitchen actually bc becks falls in the living room it looks like. He grabs her & smacks her against the wall, then she falls the other direction & drops her gun, which slides over to where the doorman is lying too; then esposito comes up trying to attack the guy near the door again, arms out probably trying to take a gun or maybe maddox is the one who had the gun, Madx twisted espt to the side, then looks like he maybe kneed him in the gut & threw him down to the floor too. esposito is left reeling, doesn't look unconscious.

My little bro: Savais! ("know" in french) Javier!

back to the fight scene: becks then pushes herself on the floor to grab her gun. Madx is already running away. She gets up & runs after him, then he is already running up the stairs when she shoots at him.

You can tell they had multiple sets to film this here bc suddenly they are on a roof. Lighting is fun. I'd like to hear this episode commentary by the lighting one. (Sorry, I don't watch the credits most of the time.) Well, it is also plot heavy so I'd like to hear the writer & director but shush, I want Every episode with commentary, & I want some of my fave episodes commented on by several groups. I want to hear the actors, I want to hear the writer producer & director, I want to hear the DP & lighting one & the set designer & costume designer...

Also her gun. When did she cock it & turn the safety off? I would not feel confident running like that with a loaded cocked gun like that.

She could stop for a second & shoot him... I'm sure she could make the shot.

Oh wait she does.

Look up. He probably climbed it & is going to jump you from the top.

& he probably does climb it bc he managed to get behind u.

Why does he pick her up like that? If I were him I'd use my Cool Military Training to karate chop her shoulder & knock her out.

Ooh now that was a great scene, he flips her over his shoulder & she rolls & we see it from a bird's-eye angle of destiny long shot thing? So good.

There we go he finally kicks the gun away from her, but why kick with your foot? Kicks are not useful so high, they should always be low. Chi geuk or whatever.

She is really wailing on him & he is just Fine.

Kick him in the balls hun.

lol I slowed down the video & that kick was... well. Again, don't kick the face, kick the nuts. I cannot tell if he dodges it or if he gets kicked & doesn't flinch.

Also what happened there? She goes to attack him but the camera pans down & his hand is just kind of Out & she falls?

Solar plexus? Winded her?

XD the way he just picks her up

For a sec I thought they were going to kiss

Grab her gun & shoot her? Bro come on.

The people on the street was a good choice in filming this.

(why is he just waiting there?)

(I said that out loud & lil bro said "because he's Powafull!!")

btw where is eposito? Was he knocked out there? He didn't seem unconscious. If Becks got up & came out here, surely espt (even if he was unconscious for a few seconds) could be coming up to help... UNLESS MADDOX HAS ACCOMPLICES THAT ARE KIDNAPPING OR KILLING ESPOSITO RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK

KB: Just tell me who’s behind this.

As if there is One person, which doubtless there is not

CM: You’re wasting your time, Detective. You have no idea what you’re up against.

KB, hot af: Neither do you.

*tries a sort of double takedown which really just fails*

& now is the start of the episode. Why doesn't he kill her tho? Long live the king mufasa style?

Oh I see. She DOES catch herself for a moment on the big ledge, making her slow enough in falling to catch herself a second time.

Like you can see she readjusts her hand! She should start side-bar-ing to the balcony to her right.

Your fingers are surprisingly strong. She is doing all this flailing & readjusting & gripping that she should totally inch her way to the right

Ooh the music

Ooh a pushzoom

Maybe growing up with parents who rock climb made me too smart.

Losing one hand might make you swing which can be dangerous but girl Bring Your Hand Back Up. Hold on with TWO hands. Unless catching absolutely ruined your tendons so you can hold on as long as it is up there but as soon as your arm fell you can't pick it up again.

She is yelling for castle not esposito who is Actually There

I already went over the voices, but this time I went over them with my little bro. Whose voice did they use when? Was it Dever trying to sound like castle?

The wedding ring!

Also y'all, if someone is falling, you do NOT have the weight to keep them up. You need to anchor yourself.

See the only reason ryan did not also fall was bc ppl were holding HIM.

Again good music

(also upon slowing it down you can see the uh.. consistency in grabbing someone falling. Have you ever done that bar trick where you get someone to catch a bill? They cannot do it. In fact, we did a similar thing in biology class. They cut & zoom in a little bit. They make ryan's sleeve into beckett's sleeve somehow.)

Castle is not here babe. It sounded like castle bc you were on the brink of death.

& gates there. She looks mad, not concerned that becks almost fell off a building

At least someone else's hand comes in there too to help her up.

& NOW beckett reaches up her other hand.

See? they have ryan & the other one down low holding up beckett & then there are also (at least) two others who are holding THEM up.

The thing is, ryan would probably be too low to pull her up, he was just holding her up. The other one helped by taking off some of the weight & pulling so that ryan could reposition himself & use his weight to pull her up.

You can see tho that she stops *there* once her elbows are on the ledge. It is hard to lift someone up. They would need to lift her up enough that she can do a pullup & get her elbows on the ledge. Then they probably grip her shoulders/upper arms to help her up while she pushes up with her arms & gets friction with her feet. Then she would roll onto the ground. & THEN she would stand up & they would be face-to-face. I would honestly like to try out smth like this (in a safe environment) to see how it works for myself rather than my logic limited experience. I want more exp.

Ryannnnnn!

(again with the lighting)

I mean yeah communication is important babes. I'm surprised she doesn't fire them.

Also esposito looks so saddddd.

VG: Don’t you “sir” me!

XD idk why I find that so funny

they don't even wear uniforms tho lol.

Girl don't resign. Don't do this you're emotional.

btw esposito in the t-shirt is great.

She looked at the badge so fondly there before resigning.

Ooooof alexis' speech over this ending? immaculate.

Wow I really feel that.

oof she looks back at the chair castle sits in hhhh

(btw they took esposito's gun but not the extra magazines he has on his belt.)

*Esposito walks angrily past Ryan and grabs his coat.*

KR, sitting on his desk after watching beckett leave & now watching esposito get going too: Javi… I had to.

*Esposito leaves without looking at Ryan.*

(& then beckett takes the elevator but not esposito??)

*Ryan throws a book across the bullpen.*

(which like...??? we often see emotion here but he yote a book. What did it hit? Where did it go?)

Ugh the rain & Her SwingsSet! I looove the swingset location in this show. I read a fic after this scene recently & it was p good. ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122723 )

What song is this btw?

Self is a construct. You are a person made of all the people you surround yourself with. When mum & I make the exact same noise of sympathy at the exact same time, you know she raised me. When I adopt a new word into my vocabulary from a character on a show. When I make my tea the way a past friend taught me. When my brother gets a new fidget or display of physicality...

She ends it with always instead of putting the always first shfaskjdfhsdjkfhsjhf this episode aaaaaaahhh

"in our hearts that will be with us,, always."

See? Adults are meant to play too. xbox is not just for preteen to teenaged boys.

Eeeee he puts the tassle On His Lamp!!

Don't delete it don't delete it don't delete it at least send it to her before deleting it or smth hsdjhskjdh

(at least he still has the recycling bin lol)

Knocking on the door, it has been like one minute since she called. She was probably calling to say "tell your doorman to let me in"

(fun fact, according to that set design bonus feature in new york, caskett live a 5-10min walk from one another.)

YOU

FINALLY THEY ARE KISSING WHY DID IT TAKE FOUR WHOLE SEASONS.

Sorry for what?

YOU DIDN'T CARE?

yes YES this is GREAT

& the MUSIC

& the lightning+thunder & the closing the door

& HER SCAR (but no surgery stars from when they cut her open to fix her heart lol)

Oohhhhhh it is not the end!!

Wow man looks way younger

NOOO MADDOX IS HERE IN SMITH'S PLACE AAAAH ON NO

Why is there an obsession over kate beckett? She is surely not the only enemy of Them.

& that's the end of the season!

Ok I started at 10, it is quarter to noon, it took me two hours to watch like 15 minutes of show. Holy moly.

I need to get all the clips & bonus features I want & then I'm good to send this back to the library.

#plot heavy #castle 4x23 #castle 4x23 quote #castle 4x23 spoilers #castle s4 spoilers #the always episode

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shoppingshoppingshoppingshopping · 2 months ago

Text

Listen/purchase: I'm Sorry That Happened so Fast by Local Teen

OK new album write up time.

Well, it looks like I screwed up the release date and set it for september 2023 when it was supposed to be september 2024. so the question is will it always be out of order for the rest of time or will i be able to fix it at some point?

cdbaby as usual has awful support and still hasn't gotten back to me to fix the date. why is support so bad everywhere? anyway....

I was doing all the boring technical stuff as i thought it was ready and then cdbaby rejected my files. apparently they don't take 96k audio. so now i am opening up each session and having to re-render at 44/16. Which is a total drag cuz now i have to relisten to the entire album again. I love most of these songs but i am also so damn sick of them now after hearing them 1000 times.

all these songs except the neat neat neat cover are from 2019. Meaning I started them then. Many were just chords and maybe a melody. A few had lyrics and were mostly done except needed clean up and a mix.

ok so first song,

away from home: this one I think I had almost everything except lyrics. All those were recorded this year. This album took forever to put together. I think I finally sat down and decided to finish it right after I released the last one. Lemme check. Oh crap that was december 2023! Damn I take forever. Or not. I know what I like and i get pickier as time goes on. I guess this is just what it takes.

I am finding I have less desire to polish old songs that don't have much to grab me. Like one of the ones in this pile was this really cool bass line and drums. I've spent maybe 20 hours trying to shape it into a song and I haven't figured out yet how to do that. There are a few like this. A few albums back I wouldn't give up and would eventually find it. But I dunno. It's just so much effort and pain. When I have literally 100s of songs that will come together easier when I finally get to them. So I'm wondering why bother.

Another lesson is that album of unfinished songs I put out. A few of those will come on my spotify shuffle and now I can hear exactly how to finish them. So the lesson there is wait. It might come. If not? that's OK. This is life. Ya gotta let go sometimes. There is pain in making music/art. It's uncomfortable. The hard part is figuring out what kind of torture is good and what isn't.

Anyway, Away from home has lyrics about a violent cartel crime situation. I love crime movies. I just rewatched michael clayton again for the 10th time? it's so good. Pulp fiction too. Which took a while to pull me in but after the overdose I was in all the way and didn't want to leave it. Butch's girlfriend isn't as bad as Bill Simmons says she is. In fact she's just fine. John Maclane yelling to himself in the car felt a little forced very "acting".

BTW it's taking at least 20 minutes just to open the 3rd song session. I think there's over 250 tracks in there.

Listening back. Away from home chorus is sooooo good. I couldn't stop myself from recording this really jazzy harmonies. My music theory talk sounds like I know something but really I aint shit but I think there's like 9ths and 7ths and diminished somethings in there.

I played the broken cello I got from craigslist free on this. Some wood glue and a jerry rigged "clamp" using ratchet tie downs and it's playable. I have no idea how to play the cello but I was able to get some good sounds out of it for this song.

2: use a hoe

this is kinda funny. i found an earlier version of this. Spent MONTHS on it. Then towards the end of wrapping up the album figured I needed one more song. Went into the next batch of unfinished songs and found this version. I thought it was so much better. It was completely done except for some clean up and much needed mix changes.

lyrics are about some of the poor folks I spent a lot of time around when I lived in florida. when people say "i don't get trump voters" I always think "Ah you never spent any meaningful time with different kinds of people."

this is one of the negatives of tiered experiences like fast pass at an amusement park or anything not general admission at an event. a society is better when different people mix in positive ways over a shared enjoyment.

It's funny that this is bragging now but my florida experience gave me bonds with fresh off the boat Hatians, Cubans and pretty much all of latin America, not to mention kids whose family have definitely been at a KKK BBQ before (or maybe it was just a rumor that everyone that lived near moon lake was KKK. I dunno. I was too scared to go) and just all sorts of people with lots of debt, loyalty to the strangest things, strong family bonds hidden under resentment and the types of folks the media just never ever shows you.

Lower Middle Class life just isn't romantic. There's a fair amount of substance use, lots of humor, missing teeth and bad tattoos on even worse skin. That doesn't make for good streaming content. One lady I knew had no front teeth and her car was literally infested with roaches. You'd see them crawling all over the seats at any time of day. how the florida heat didn't kill them? I have no idea. Also if her car was like this what was her trailer for of kids like?

Who are they going to cast to depict her in a show? Glenn Close? She has the face of a shoe that only rich people know about.

i'm solid to maybe upper middle class now but those folks still exist inside me like guardian angels. They write a lot of my lyrics. I get them but i also resent them for not doing what i would do. not that that's right, but just reporting from subconscious.

When I was 16 working in fast food, I worked with a 40 year woman named BJ. She said it was short for something like "Billie gives the best blow jobs". Kids, the 90s were wild. or maybe just florida or both. This lady also was kind of illiterate and her kid names on his birth certificate was "BRAIN" no Brian. I hope she's doing well but I doubt it. The world has changed in a way that hasn't been protective of folks like that. That's just sad. I liked these people. We worked together as team. There is a special bond you gain when working on a time crunchy environment. I hope they made it out of poverty OK or least didn't go lower.

3: send the girls over

This was one of those songs I couldn't stop writing. It was so inspiring. So many ideas and lyrics. I saw a songwriting friend recently and told him I wanted to be better at lyrics. Then I went back to finish this song and saw that I'm not crap. I can pull it off sometimes. Cuz I am so proud of these lines:

so you didn't want to lie yet we did watch it grow that thing upon your face that drips when you get cold that looks down on the poor turns up when you get old through which you soon will pay for sticking it where it surely doesn't go

Keith Hopkin of The Blue Album Group and Asobi seksu sang on the woah parts. I love his voice. We used to be in a Weezer cover band together.

So did my nephews, probably the missus as well. I had anyone that came over sing on those woahs for a few weeks.

I just love this song. Listening to it now the "I knew it was you part" still gives me chills. I also played the trumpets on this. I don't know how to play at all. Yet I was so inspired that when I hit record and blew my heart out and ya know what? the right notes just came out! I WAS FUCKING FEELIN' IT! God is good, man. I'm tellin' you.

That's the magic of music, man. It can make you do stuff you can't usually do. It's like a super power. I can feel my version of god in this moment. Thank you universe for the gift to stick with this craft and to keep trying to make songs I like. And thank you for the love I get to feel for myself when I hear what I made.

Ok now I feel exposed.

I'm pretty sure there's 250+ tracks in this. It became impossible to work on because it uses more resources than my computer can handle. But nevertheless he persisted.

4: come on baby

there's a version with 3 other parts not in this one. They were more metal/butt rock than I like. So I wrote all new parts. And then ended up redoing everything. Vocally I was trying to find the right voice then heard a DFA1979 song and thought "oh I should try that".

My les paul through my orange tiny terror is the perfect guitar tone for this kind of song. Its my favorite amp/gtr combo just because when it's right it's just perfect. It's just not always right for each song.

5: why start now - a classic vibe of "why bother? let's get ta slackin'". feels very 90s to me.

I love my funky bass lines. I feel like I should show them off more cuz I do some pretty cool stuff sometimes.

You know what's very un 90s? The amount of self love I have for my work as I write this today. It took lots of therapy, will power and the desire to change to get here. Don't get me wrong I hear the "you suck" voice daily. Just now I thought "you're being really honest here. We feel vulnerable. don't do this" then another voice said "no one listens to your music and never will so who cares?". Then another voice said, "just be in your creative space and flow. this is a gift to have this. so many people wish they could make things. you're lucky".

This song had a completely different feel. Then I went on a dancehall trip with my spotify deep dives and realized I should try that. Re did the drums. Then realized lots of other stuff needed to be redone but cause it didn't work with my new groove. so yeah, this is a dancehall song. for me.

6: neat neat neat - i made this in like a week towards the end of my last album. it came together to quickly. i put it on there but then went i went to release it Landr was like "no covers otherwise you can't make any money from ANY of the other songs on the album".

So I am putting it on this one since I am using CDbaby to release this one and they won't ding all the other album tracks if they get lots of youtube streams.

Keith Hopkin sang on this too!

7: What we are

I have a slight headache. I probably have covid. this morning I had a million great ideas for a new song I am working on. I was also so excited to do all this admin work to release my new album. but now I just feel so scattered and can't wait for this to be over.

first line is something i remember steve albini saying in an interview when asked about movies or tv shows. talk about yucking someones yum! i often have to turn steve off in my head when i am watching something mediocre. i can see the acting and just how silly it all is.

i used a lot of 1176 compressors on the first version of this. ended up removing nearly all except on the gtrs. i dunno why but that thing never worked for me. I have friend that loves it. I don't like his drum sounds. but i get that it's a classic sound.

8: use a hoe slower

spent a long time trying to get this one to work. i like it's chill vibes.

Do I sing about being dead or alive a lot? I think I sang something similar on another song on this album. I dunno. I make a lot of music. I'm bound to repeat myself

Ok i'm done. I just did a proof reading pass about a week later. I definitely have covid. I toggle between dizzy, tired, confused, hungry and inspired to make dance music. I've started 3 tracks with beats and basslines and then stop. That's fine. It takes a lot of practice to get good at a new genre.

#punk #punk rock #indie rock #brooklyn bands #alternative #localteen #one man band

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angelsandarsenic · 10 months ago

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you said you weren’t going to hit all the plot points you wanted in Go Tell the Bees, so what were the rest? If you can tell us without giving spoilers ofc

Ooh good question I’m glad you asked! I don’t think I’m going to finish that or certainly not any time soon so I’ll give you everything

—sbi family game night

—Reference to spiderma where slime is a scientisct/chemist doing stuff with spiders and Tubbo is like--hey, so this seems like a bad idea, lest not OR same thing but tommy gets bit and becomes tubbos sidekick

—the hero commission learns the Golden Apple is in L’manberg and send the retired Puffy and junior hero Fundy to come find the totem and Blue

—Tubbo gets enderpearls

—Tommy becomes Tubbo’s sidekick before he finds out abt the rest of the family being villains, Ranboo becomes their official healer

—benchtrio catches on to The Syndicate trying to bring Blue to L’manberg from Germany and finds out Ranboo’s family is big mafia working with the syndicate

—poor Tubbo just being traumatized

—some particular ways I wanted to beat up Tubbo

—Ranbob goes (has been) rogue and tries to get the Apple, blue and the totem for himself, plus with the presence of official heroes Tubbo and the Syndicate start working together

—Phil with a scythePhilwith a scythe PHILWITH A SCYTHE

—Schlatt dies (L)

—Just read the last excerpt

also I have some of these written out! So excerpts (in order) under the cut :) (directly from my drafts btw)

———— On the roof across from Golden Stinger, standing staring at the skyline, was a woman in a long red pirate coat with flowing rainbow hair.

Holy fucking shit is that The Captain?! He must be seeing things. He must be. The Captain is retired.

The hero looks away and then suddenly she's gone, just like that. So I was seeing things after all. Disappointment blooms in his chest. The Captain was always one of his favorite heroes when he was younger. The world got a lot more dangerous when she retired.

Tubbo remembers when Totem died. The Captain turned in her hero's licence and hung up her hat the very same day. Villains across the world got a hell of a lot more ballsy, and Tubbo had some of the worst few weeks of his life. Absolutely no one took the news of Totem's death well. The rumor mill especially went absolutely wild. Some people had made adamant claims that he had been involved in illegal activity. Every story of his death was different and more exaggerated than the last. Some people speculated that The Captain killed him herself--after all, how was an immortal supposed to die? The years old rumors about them being mother and son sprang up again and only added fuel to the fire.

As it was, however, the hero commission of Essempi kept their lips firmly shut, nothing was ever confirmed.

———-

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my city?”

”I'm Vulpes, I’m a junior hero with the hero commission, studying under The Captain; I’m here to help."

Tubbo stopped and stared, mouth hanging open beneath his mask. Then he got angry.

Oh no. No, no, no, the hero commission doesn’t just get to ignore his city and suddenly send in heroes now that shit is going down. They especially don’t get to send in junior heroes, as if 1. Tubbo can’t handle things himself like he’s been doing for almost two years, and 2. An apprentice can do this better than him. As if his villains aren’t powerful enough to warrant an actual goddamn hero. He saw the captain the other night--he knows he did now--but apparently she can’t even be bothered to show up!

”Look kid, I don’t need your help. Tell whoever sent you here to—and I quote—screw off.”

Vulpes frowned. ”Sir, you’re dealing with the Syndicate here, a vigilante can’t take them on on their own.”

Tubbo sucked in a harsh breath to cool the fire that erupted in his chest and it took everything in him not to snap at this kid. It wasn’t his fault, even if he was being a condescending little shit. Is that what they were calling him?! A vigilante?! And how fucking dare these uppity punks come out here and try to tell him who he’s dealing with, like he hasn’t been the only defense against them all this time?! The Syndicate has been here for years, and this is proof that the hero commission hasn’t given a damn the whole time, because L’manberg was already a crime riddled minor city.

Tubbo couldn’t help but laugh, but it wasn’t pleasant. The Piper snorted along with him. Just as he opened his mouth to reluctantly not scream at the kid, The Piper spoke first, with more venom than Tubbo would have used. “Believe me, he’s well aware, and he’s far more capable of ‘dealing with us’ than you ever would be, you snot nosed, kiss ass, audacious little worm.” Tubbo choked on surprise. Siren kept going. “I would turn you into a smear on the pavement," he sneered. As he paced toward the junior hero, the guy scrambled back, eyes going wide. He doesn't even have ear protection! "so like this brat said, scamper back home and tell your bosses that you don’t get to just show up here and try to hero our city.”

�� Golden Stinger could only watch in shock as the apprentice turned with a blank look and disappeared off over the rooftops. Finally, “was that a compliment Piper?” He snarked, slowly breaking into a grin.

“Fuck off.” ———— They waited in tense silence for a moment, crowded around the computer. One beat, two beats, th-

"...(smth)" Dammit, he didn't know what they were saying! He knew there was a chance this would happen, which was why he was recording, but this really just made it a hassle. All of the sudden, there was flurry of motion beside him and when he looked over, Ranboo had a pencil and was scribbling rapidly. Is he...there's no way he understands them, right? That must be enderian then, how lucky. He tapped him on the shoulder, but the blonde just shushed him. "(smth smth)" Ranboo's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes went slightly wide. He hesitated. What are they saying?! What's happening?! He hurried to pull up google translate, but that probably wouldn't be good enough. Besides, what if they were talking about suspicious black market stuff and google translate thought it was something else because normal people don't talk about that? "Be patient, ⌰⟟⏁⏁⌰⟒ ⏁⍀⏃⎐⟒⌰⟒⍀."

Then Ranboo stopped completely. "...⋔⍜⋔?"

(Niki is one of Ranboo's friends, runs the Th⟒'⟒nd branch of the syndicate) (they're speaking ender)

—————

"Alright creeper...where are you?"

All was quiet. Tubbo was honestly impressed that the villain was able to stay so silent. Or at least he would be, if it didn't scare the shit out of him. Nothing was more unnerving than the constant sense of danger, the screaming of his fight or flight response and the knowledge of knowing someone was watching him, without knowing where the hell they were.

"Where you least expect me!"

Suddenly, something grabbed him, the thing's momentum slamming him into unforgiving metal. His cry was a half choked gasp as all the air got knocked out of his lungs by what had definitely at least fractured his ribs. Then, before he could recover, he was soaring up, up, up, rapidly getting way too high above the city for his liking.

As soon as he was able to breathe again, he wasn't. The massive talons curled around his torso and midsection began to constrict. He let out a strangled scream as the pressure turned fractured into definite breaks...the Angel may not have been taking his sweet time, but he clearly relished crushing Golden Stinger's ribcage. The crunching of his precious tech at his back was almost more painful than the physical crushing of the hero himself and his fear ramped up tenfold realizing that he didn't have his wings anymore. His scream petered out due to the thinning oxygen. With any luck, he thought dully, he had managed to break the villain's oxygen mask so he couldn't be up here very long either.

Tubbo's ears popped sharply, making him whine in pain. His brain was torn completely between I need to get out of and back to the ground! and Holy fuck that's really high please don't let go please don't let go I'm gonna die!

In conclusion: Tubbo was completely helpless. Checkmate.

The Angel of Death dropped him and Tubbo could feel something pop. He was falling faster than he could process, the stabbing feeling in his ears piercing all the way through his head.

————

He was never meant to get caught in the cross fire. J Schlatt, the mayor of the city, Tubbo’s dad was never meant to get caught in the crossfire. “Dad? Dad- dad no, wake up please. Dad wake up. What are you doing? What are you doing?! Wake up!”

“I’m here- I’m- I’m here, just- h-hang on. I don’t feel to good.”

“Ok. Ok that’s fine. You’re gonna- “ You’re gonna be fine. He’s not gonna be fine. Oh god. Oh god, he had to do this now. He had to do this now before- before- “Dad?" Tubbo voice broke before he could even begin the rest of the sentence. "You know I love you right? You’ve been an amazing dad and I love you more than anything else in the world, dad- “ he was sobbing. He couldn’t help it. His brain wasn't fully processing that this was happening but at the same time he knew, more clearly than he had known anything before, his dad was dying and Tubbo couldn't save him.

The man's breathing was ragged. He seemed to be trying to form words but realizing that it wasn't working. Schlatt’s hands were raised weakly, trying to do something, combing through his hair and Tubbo was crying, forehead pressed to his. You need to know. Please, you need to know. I need to stop this. I can’t stop it. I need to- The hands fell away from his face. “No! No no no no, please-“ there was no more movement, not even blinking. Schlatt’s face was already becoming ashen, at some point all the warmth had faded from his skin. He was smiling.

;;

Someone. Is going. To pay.

————

(Ranbob captures Tubbo and straight up shoots him)

“I told you to stay in the car!” Was the first thing Ranboo expected to hear as he managed to stumble out of the wrecked vehicle, adrenaline drunk grin stretched across his face. The hero would be laughing as he said it, already knowing what was coming next, or he’d be upset at Ranboo for endangering himself, which was equally endearing, of course.

“I did,” they would reply. But they didn’t. As soon as they saw the lifeless body slumped in the chair, the grin fell and he was stumble-running to Golden Stinger’s side.

Ranboo’s mind only barely had the time to register that the person behind the shattered mask of the city’s most beloved hero is Tubbo. His head really hurts and his ears are still ringing from when the airbags deployed—they might have broken some of his bones, who knows? What’s important is that over there, laying on the ground burned and bleeding and motionless is Tubbo. His Tubbo, who is so brilliantly smart, so kind, funny and brave-

-And absolutely cannot be dying right now what do they do?! He didn’t know. He didn’t know and his hands were shaking so badly he would have dropped any tools if he had them. “There is going to be one that makes your hands tremble. There are going to be ones that you can’t save, no matter how good of a surgeon you are.” That’s what his med school teacher had told them once. But that couldn’t be now. Please please—for the love of Prime don’t let it be now, no NO! It can’t! His mind takes too long to catch up, but finally he pulls out his phone, almost dropping it and speed dials Ran. “Ran! I need your help right fucking now! Get your ass over here and bring the totem!” It might be too late. By the time he gets here it might be too late for the totem, it might be too late for the golden apple hidden at Ranboo’s apartment, it might already be too late. In a hurry, Ranboo puts his hand on the hero’s chest. He’s still breathing. They don’t remove their hand.

But there’s something soft looking and strange floating near where the car crashed that makes Ranboo leave Tubbo’s side. They recognized it immediately. There’s nothing in the world that’s like- like whatever that is, and knowing what they and the villains have been chasing after this whole time, Ranboo knows immediately what it is. He reaches the car and it pauses, then begins to float serenely over to him like it knows they're there. It’s…mesmerizing.

It makes nausea roll in his gut and he forces himself to stay in the moment. The Blue can’t seem to decides whether to be a fine mist or a thick, heavy cloud. It stretches out in every direction, but particularly towards Ranboo and somewhere under the car. It’s only on instinct that he doesn’t reach out and touch it, instead, he wanders around to the other side of the car (the Blue following him) and stops. There’s a body. A bloody one. Ranboo knew they must have interrupted someone’s nefarious plot, that someone must have shot Tubbo, but they didn’t think they'd run right into them.

Good.

The person actually looks… familiar…

“Ranboo…” he croaks weakly.

Oh. “Ranbob?” What the hell is doing here?! Since when did he get here?! Was he the one who-

“Help me…☊⍜⎍⌇⟟⋏…” They could help him. He’s mostly crushed, but he’s salvageable if he gets help now. Ran is on his way.

Ranboo examines the area around Ranbob. It appears that the last of the Blue is leaking out of a smashed bottle. Probably best not to touch it. What can he use… Ah, there’s a water bottle in the car. Ranboo dumps the rest of the water out of it and just kinda- holds it out to the Blue floating towards him. They have no idea how to capture it or if that would work, assuming it wouldn’t, but it’s like it all gets sucked into the container once the first bit got inside.

Ok then. Good. Ranboo closes the lid on the bottle just as Ran pops into existence next to him. They don’t let their older brother see their cousin's body, just points adamantly towards Tubbo and wheezes something like, “There, over there, him-“ (the pain is starting to catch up to them) and suddenly they’re beside him in a flurry of purple. Ran let go of his younger brother in order to scoop Tubbo up in his arms, then they were gone again, reappearing in Ranboo’s apartment.

Ranboo had blood on his hands.

#Angel writes #SpiderMan tubbo #SpiderMan au #mcyt #benchtrio #q and a time #Villain sbi #Go Tell the Bees #ao3 writer

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