#i got the job!!!!!!

[lordgroose]

i roasted in the 90 degree 70% humidity sun for four hours getting two customers online today 🙃 i'm exhausted

in good news! they walked back the decision on the position i applied for! the person they were giving it to had marks on his driving record that didn't allow him to qualify for the position, so they offered it to me today! (i already drive as a field technician for the company, so i know i'm good to go there lol)

feeling good! exhausted, but good! what a way to end the week lol

[dekuboya]

Short Jon gender euphoria comic for the soul :,)

[lazylittledragon]

dadkarios doods sponsored by my stress migraine

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can’t believe FNAF movie Mike never got paid

[potatoescanbesadtoo]

my alive gay goth son????

[lotus-pear]

horrendously late entry for @luneariann’s dtiys!! congrats on one million ely i’m so proud of you <3

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[noodles-and-tea]

Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans

[ivegotyourbackbuddie]

I would love a classic scene of Eddie questioning if he’s straight or not, and Buck swooping in with a, “I wasn’t sure until Tommy kissed me, so maybe you just need a guy to kiss you.”

Of course, Eddie would look right at Buck and ask, “Do you know anyone offering?”

And Buck, thumb hooked in his belt, chest out, would walk up to Eddie and say, “I think I do.”

Only for Chimney to interrupt the moment and yell, “Alright! Pucker up, buttercup. They don’t call me Mr. April for nothing!”

[hinamie]

brighter days ahead

[secretdazedragon]

emotional lestat

dw he will keep him company

[adaki]

Bath and Body(works?)

(sorry I haven’t been posting I got a job…)

[octoling-wearing-gauges]

will the real lars fans please stand up

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Michael’s interview with Phone dude went in FNAF 3

[hamletthedane]

Imagine telling somebody in 1995 that one day, Snoop Dog and Flavor Flav would both be beloved American icons highly associated with the Olympic Games. With Snoop acting as an official NBC commentator and carrying the actual Olympic torch in his 50s.

They would look at you like you were absolutely insane. What an incredible world we live in