#i got partway through it
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Have you ever watched Thirteen because that is also catherine hardwicke and it has blue tint in the end
I have not! A safe guess for movies and shows is to assume I have not watched something until proven otherwise, as I don't watch many things.
I looked it up because of this though, and some of the images have the blue tint! Oh interesting, apparently Nikki Reed (Rosalie's actor) co-wrote the script loosely based on her own childhood (when she was 12-13) when she was 14. I think the summary of it being a "tumultuous" childhood are understating it a little bit.
Anyway! I had no idea that movie existed, but I wonder what it is about the blue tint that is just so captivating, so alluring...is it just a Hardwicke thing or did other people do that? I have no clue
#quil's queries#nonsie#this is making me realize I never finished reading her director's notebook#i got partway through it#but the font is just so jarring#it's not made to be easily read it's like. made to be quirky and interesting#which means horrible formatting and difficult to read fonts#so I took a break after a little bit because it was giving me a headache and then just never picked it back up again#i should do that
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Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.
It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).
It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.
(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).
It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).
It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.
It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.
It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.
She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)
It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.
It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.
Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.
On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)
#txt#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#ena5#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#25 ji nightcord de#niigo#n25#mizuena#i'll tag it for the shippers too bc why not they'll enjoy this#closing my eyes and hitting post because on one hand i want to keep editing this because it's a mess but if i spend another minute on this#I Will explode#physically i have moved on mentally i am still staring at that damn card on my monitor while the music swells and mizuki is wailing out#that damn image has like actually rearranged my brain chemistry it's not even funny#i'm so fucking weak for this specific character dynamic/relationship yeah it might be cliche yeah i'm lame whatever#but like. FUCKKKK THEY DID IT SO WELL. THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE. they put so much care into mizuki as a character it's crazy#oh mizuki. i hope you find peace and happiness.#i hope you look around you and the people you've surrounded yourself with one day and realize that you've found safety#anyways yeah sorry this is incomprehensible nonsense also sorry if the pronouns were confusing i hc she/they for mizuki#y'know partway through writing this i half considered turning this around into a fic but like. nahhhhh. tumblr text word vomit it is#sorry about the *checks* 1.4K word text ramble. but thanks for reading if you got here B))
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#I read so much tamora pierce as a kid#both circle and tortall#though I was more partial to tortall overall#I haven't reread any of them in a while#but it occurred to me somewhat recently that like. I basically did a keladry irl#I just got sick before I could finish#(combat roles were closed to 'females' until literally the day I signed the paperwork in 2015)#(like I'd already chosen something else but the recruiters called me later that day like 'hey they just changed the rules')#(I wasn't The First to go into training and so on because I was partway through my last quarter of college)#(altho kel was too young to take advantage the moment the law changed it's just that no one else tried first in her case)#but idk I spent a long time kinda pretending it never happened for Complicated Brain Reasons#so I don't think it's fully sunk in yet still
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27. Lay out the plot of Death Note using only emojis.
[Death Note ask meme]
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The wildest thing about veilguard opinions is I see my fellow DA2 and similar fans of taste saying ‘I really wish these characters had more bite’ and I’m like. Yes, I agree, I would really like that. The characters having bite is a huge part of why I like DA2
And then I leave my bubble and I see someone be like ‘omg it’s so bullshit that certain characters get mad at me for making a choice in a no-win situation that negatively affects them’ and it’s got over 1500 likes and it’s like
As much as I, too, wish the characters had more bite (I actually wanted them to yell at me more for the above decision! People are irrational! Let them act like it and take out their grief on me for at least a second! Yell at me! Make me feel an emotion!), I think there’s a lot of people who say that’s what the want when in reality they absolutely do not. Those of us that genuinely want that seem to be in the minority and lbr, that’s probably why the companions are so pleasant - even this is too much bite for some people
#like. this is the thing#I’m only partway through the game but I do agree with those saying it feels very safe#but I’m ngl I think a lot of that is… what at least some significant parts of the fandom asked for#even if they say otherwise#and like. it’s fine if people want that - that’s their taste#what annoys me if people who do say they want edge#and then say characters who should absolutely be allowed to yell more are yelling too much#anyway my shaders are done verifying I’m going back in lmao that’s my Hot Take of the day#added tag: oh! I just got taash and the ‘taash is too mean :c’ people too oh my god#not to compare to bg3 but exposure to lae’zel would instantly kill these people lmao#dragon age#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#text#shut up nerd
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Anthologies including aro stories
(that I have read recently)
I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.
1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.
I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.
2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.
I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?
3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.
A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)
4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.
YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.
#aro#aromantic#aro books#It's still sort of aro week right...#I'm partway through a couple of actual novels I thought I might write about but I got distracted reading other stuff#Tbh I found all three of the all out/out now/put there anthologies disappointing#Especially in regard to representing a broad range of queer identities
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wanted to draw something that looks nice. sisters :)
#sth#metal sonic#sage the ai#sonic the hedgehog#fanart#id in alt text#got lazy partway through oh well!#i only have so much patience
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Made some lava 🌋
#needle felting#fiber art#please tell me it looks like lava bc it was getting really phallic partway through and I got worried 💀💀💀
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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Chapter 18
are we finally getting somewhere with the trial? please??
SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY
Some pre-chapter notes:
was tempted to start this chapter with toko waking up and gasping 'i think i like girls!!'
wanted to say that everything would've been resolved way earlier if people were just a little nicer to toko before remembering that aoi was literally doing that and she STILL obsessed over byakuya. can we get this girl to a therapist please
shoutout to @digitaldollsworld for reading this at ass o'clock in the morning while i was still writing it. a real hero tbh
Content warning tags: self-deprecating language, implied self-harm, canon-typical manipulation and language
< previous - from start - next >
There’s a moment of stillness. Someone shouts in alarm, and a few people nearly step away from their stands with intention to help. But just as quickly, the dark figure slumped behind the rail begins to clamber slowly upwards, hands bracing against the balusters as she totters to an upright position.
Slowly, carefully, Toko Fukawa stands up straight, trembling all the while. “I-Is this a trial? W-what’s going o-on?!”
The stammer certainly sounds like Fukawa.“...Toko? That’s really you, right?” Asahina tries tentatively. “Um, are you okay? Are you feeling alright?”
“I…” She looks around, hands fisted tight around her braids, twitching with the same nervous quality of a bird. Her eyes must have landed on Byakuya, and the venomous stare he was giving her, because she squeaks and cowers again. “I-!”
“Chihiro’s body was found today. Approximately twenty minutes after you left the library.” He says coldly, words clipped and harsh. “Kyoko says you were both in the boy’s bathroom before the body discovery alarm. Can you verify this?”
“W-what?!” She stutters. “I-I don’t know w-what’s going on, I n-never know-” She’s shaking violently, as if she’s about to faint again.
“Let’s try a different question.” Kirigiri cuts in. “Toko. What were you doing between 12:30 and 1 o’clock today?”
“Wh- A-are you accusing me of s–something?!”
“No. But everyone else has given testimony on their whereabouts during this time. Yours would help grant us a better understanding of the course of events.” Kirigiri says patiently. Fukawa sways for a moment, thinking carefully, before she answers.
“Th-the library,” She half-mumbles, hands twisting in her braids over and over again, the black coils weaving over her pale fingers like eels. “Um, I w-wanted to talk to B-Byakuya alone, so I w-went to the library, a-and we t-talked for a bit…and then-”
He suddenly realizes what she’s about to say, but it’s too late to stop it. “Then, u-um, he h-hit me…w-with a book.”
He can feel eyes turning towards him, and the air turns disapproving. He scowls back. “She’s left out the part where she tried to blackmail me with the secret that she peeked at the other night.” He explains, and at once Fukawa flushes darkly and begins stammering something out.
“I-! I wasn’t b-blackmailing you!”
“What other word should I have used then? Manipulation? Coercion?” He asks sarcastically, and she shrivels and withers at his words.
“I told you m-my secret too, s-so it’d be fair-”
“You told me you were a serial killer who targets the men you fancied. Forgive me if I wasn’t immediately won over.”
The atmosphere turns a little less hostile at that. “Okay, yeah. If it’s like that I kinda get it.” Hagakure is nodding sagely, as if he understands everything. “But, seriously. You shouldn’t hit girls, man…”
“...Are you really going to do this now?” He just needed this trial to be over, already. The adrenaline of the earlier reveal had worn off, and now he felt sick with anger and exhaustion. “The whole thing barely took ten minutes. I wasn’t interested in dragging it out any longer than I had to.”
“Still, hitting is sort of-” But Hagakure shuts up at the glare Byakuya gives him, and quickly amends. “Never mind. Gender equality. Especially in self-defense. Cool, got it, my bad.”
“So, I suppose it is safe to assume that the source of the blood on your hand, and the book from earlier, was because of this confrontation?” Celeste asks. And, without waiting for an answer: “Then, that would also mean that the reason you were holding that file on Syo was due to what Toko had revealed to you.”
She sounds all too satisfied with herself for reaching that conclusion. “And so, it seems that the most damning evidence that had been implicating you has been disproven. Is that not reassuring?”
“...Don’t patronize me.”
“Why, I wouldn’t dare.” She laughs lightly, a soft sound that perfectly conceals her shrewdness.
“Toko. Please, continue.” Kirigiri says again, and there’s a quiet rustle as Fukawa yanks at her hair, the strands scraping over her fingers.
“A-after he h-hit me, I left…u-um, I went to the bathroom t-to w-wash my face, and when I touched the faucet - I-I mean, I wiped my f-face with my hands earlier, a-and the b-blood…” She trails off and shakes her head, and shoves her face into a fistful of her hair.
Byakuya suddenly recalls something, something that Fukawa had mentioned during their confrontation in the library in a hurried, muttered tone. “Syo comes out when you see blood.” He remembers aloud, and her incoherent words begin clicking together.
Her pale face immediately darkens to an ugly, blotchy pink. “Yeah, um. I-I’m scared of b-blood, so…a-and when she’s out, I d-don’t have any m-memory of what s-she does.” She cradles her face in her hands, swaying a little like a swooning maiden. “S-so you did remember…” She mumbles, apparently to herself, and he feels his stomach turn with disgust.
It’s not worth wasting the effort on her to think of a response, so he opts to ignore her fawning instead. “So Toko left the library and went to the boy’s bathroom, and fainted after seeing the blood on her hand.” That seems logical enough, but something about this sequence of events bothered him.
According to Kirigiri, Syo only woke up shortly before the body discovery. If Fukawa went to the bathroom right after leaving the library, why had it taken so long? And that aside, there was something that bothered him about her story. Something that he couldn’t place a finger on.
He’s not the only one who noticed the fallacy. “Excuse me, Toko,” Makoto tries tentatively. “So…that means from around 12:40 to one, you were unconscious?”
“Y-yes? What, do you n-not believe me?” She immediately goes on the defensive, cagey and snappish. “Y-you think I’m l-lying, right? J-just because I’m l-like this, you th-think that e-everything I say is a l-lie-?! Y-you all think I s-strung Chihiro up, I kn-know it!”
“Toko…no one said that.” Asahina has her hands raised, in some attempt to calm her down. “We just want to know what happened.”
She was proving to be an impossible witness. Byakuya raises a hand to press to his temple, feeling his pulse throbbing beneath his fingertips. “Kyoko. Can you verify what Toko has said?” He asks, exasperated, and Kirigiri actually seems to startle a bit, head snapping to look at him.
“...I can’t.” She says, after a pause. “Because she did not enter the bathroom at that time, or else I would have noticed it.”
She remains fixated on him for a moment longer, before turning away. Belatedly, he suddenly realizes this was the second time he’s caught her off guard. The first time was when he pointed out the fact that access to information on Genocider Syo was limited.
He doesn’t have the luxury to dwell on that though. “So, that means that either you, or Toko, is lying about their whereabouts during this time.” He sighs. “For now, we need to identify which one of you both is deceiving us.”
Both are equally suspicious. Kirigiri has been mysterious, even more so than usual, and purposefully vague about her activities. And he didn’t trust Fukawa at all to start with, but she was also clumsy and awkward. It was hard to imagine her being able to plan everything ahead to this degree, from planting the evidence, to staging the actual murder…
“Wait. Something’s not right.” Makoto says suddenly, and his voice is clear and contemplative, his chin tucked over his knuckle. “If Toko fainted before she actually washed her hands, then how come her hands are clean? Remember, when we first met Syo, she showed us that her hands were totally free of blood.”
“I-I-!” She squawks, indignant, but she can’t seem to formulate a reply for a few moments. “M-maybe Syo washed my h-hands or s-something, I don’t know! S-she’s the one that k-kills people, so o-of course she would h-hide her tracks!”
“But, again, the sinks of the boy’s bathroom were all dry.” Makoto points out, and Fukawa sputters some more. “And…”
He pauses, and his head dips for a moment, enough for a shadow to cast over his face. “Toko. How did you know that Chihiro is dead?”
Byakuya figures it out a half-step after him, and silently kicks himself for not picking up on it earlier. And the others pick up on it as well, and the atmosphere turns dark, thick with unease and suspicion. Same as the elevator ride down, but this time, directed at Fukawa.
She’s gaping like a fish. She turns left and right, shuffling slightly. The rails of the stand stand tall and straight like the bars of a cage. “I-that’s-the portraits!” She yelps, and jabs out a pale hand in Byakuya’s direction. “Ch-Chihiro’s portrait, i-it’s crossed out! Th-that means s-she’s dead, so-”
“He’s dead.” Byakuya corrects sharply, and glares so fiercely the confused question that Fukawa was preparing simply vanishes. “But the fact that you weren’t aware of that means that Chihiro never came to speak with you about it. When he already discussed the matter with the rest of us.”
“I-that doesn’t m-mean I k-killed he-him!”
“Maybe that doesn’t implicate you,” Kirigiri concedes. “But earlier, you said ‘strung Chihiro up’. How were you aware of what the crime scene looked like?”
Fukawa squeaks, and smacks her hands to her mouth, as if she can retroactively shove the words back. “Th-that- i-isn’t that like S-Syo’s habits? S-so o-of course I would a-assume-”
“Syo said the crime scene doesn’t match what she does.” Makoto interjects. “All her victims are pinned by her scissors. Like you said, Chihiro was crucified using a cord.”
“I-”
“The time period doesn’t make sense. If we assume that Kyoko is being truthful - why did it take so long for Syo to wake up, in the time between you fainting and Chihiro being found?” Byakuya stares at her icily, and she squirms and shudders beneath his gaze. “You woke up awfully quick just now. For someone accusing us of labeling you a liar, you don’t seem inclined to tell the truth about anything, do you?”
His words drip with vitriol and acid, and Fukawa digs her fingers into her scalp and stamps her foot and screams, a long, strangled noise of frustration and anger. It’s a piercing sound, sharp enough to make Byakuya flinch, and it echoes for a moment up to the high ceiling of the chamber. And then everyone is silent as she catches her breath, hands pulling slowly away from her thoroughly disheveled hair.
“Fine,” She spits, and somehow, her voice is steadier than he’s ever heard it. “I hung up Chihiro. A-and I framed Byakuya for it.”
The confession sounds almost giddy with how breathless she is, but maybe Byakuya was imagining it. After a moment’s pause for people to register what she said, there’s no small amount of shock.
“You- you did?!” Yamada, standing directly next to Fukawa, cows as far away as the stand will let him. “Wha- but you seemed so…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but the implication of the word ‘harmless’ hangs in the air. “Yes, I did.” She snaps back savagely. “I-it was easy. H-he’s so small, a-and I knew B-Byakuya would be l-looking for s-stuff on Syo…and, t-the extension cord…”
Byakuya suddenly remembers, then. How she had stumbled as she left the library, foot smashing through some box and getting tangled in its contents. And how he hadn’t paid any mind to it, already too preoccupied with his own survival to care.
“How did you manage it without turning into Syo?” Kirigiri asks, and Fukawa’s face twists. It's only as she turns her head, and Byakuya notices the subtle glint of her bared teeth, that he realizes that she’s grinning.
“He had been i-ignoring me f-for so long…I was w-working so hard. T-to be normal and good. S-so he would l-look at me…” It’s not hard to figure out who she was referring to by ‘he’. Byakuya feels eyes on him once more. But his attention is turned to her raised forearm, exposed by the sleeve drooping around her elbow from how her hands are clutching at her scalp, and the strip of white that is almost imperceptible against her already pale skin. “I-I thought if I could - I could g-get over it, I could prove th-that I could be normal, then…”
She trails off, energy quickly depleted. “So, you had been training to not immediately faint at the sight of blood.” Kirigiri concludes, and Fukawa nods once, jerkily.
“Wait, so you did all that just because he ignored you?” Hagakure asks, mouth agape.
“Yes!” She shrieks vehemently, so sharp and sudden that Byakuya nearly jumps. “You don’t get it! None of you g-get it! I-I can stand it i-if he was mean to me, o-or if he h-hated me, but- it’s the worst when h-he acts like I’m n-not even there!”
Her voice breaks, and for a long moment the only sound in the room is her quiet sobs. To some degree - and Byakuya is furious with himself for even thinking this - he understands why she might behave this way. Clearly, she had been abused, and likely neglected, and this manifested into the extreme, self-demeaning, aggressive behavior she displayed now. Her actions had a twisted logic. She herself was pitiable.
But just because he understood, did not mean he had to accept it.
“Well, you have my full attention now.” He says coldly. “Congratulations. Why don’t you try and keep that attention by telling us what we all want to know?”
“Yeah, how about you tell us how Chihiro died?” It takes Byakuya a moment to place that the question came from Owada, who had been mostly quiet for a while now. He’s not blazing with fury anymore, but there’s an edge in his voice now that Byakuya can’t read. “I don’t give a shit about your fucking crush. I want to know how you killed Chihiro.”
Fukawa tilts her head in thought, and the action is somehow reminiscent of Syo. “B-but, I didn’t kill Chihiro?” She says, and she sounds almost innocent. “I-I just found the b-body…I-I think if I d-did kill him th-then Syo w-would have woken up r-right away.”
As if anticipating it, Kirigiri raises her hands, as if trying to stop the rush of questions and shocked exclamations from the others. It’s no use though, as Owada bellows: “Like hell we’re believing that!”
“Guys, the time limit-!” Makoto has to shout above the din. At that, Byakuya glances at the clock hanging over Monokuma’s chair, the flashing red digits initiating a countdown. How long had it been already? How much time was left? There was no way for him to tell. He’d totally forgotten about it. “Just. Toko, can you tell us how you found the body? Please?”
“W-why should I?” Byakuya feels his jaw physically creak with how hard he’s grinding his teeth. It seemed that in the time Fukawa spent unconscious, she had absorbed the worst aspects of Syo’s personality.
“We may all perish if you don’t.” Sakura points out, a low threat in her voice.
“I-I don’t care.”
Byakuya thinks he might scream. “Why?! What else do you have left to lose?” He demands, and his voice rasps slightly, throat sore from how much he’d been talking. “We know what you’ve done already. You’ve already revealed everything about me. What else do you want?!”
And she giggles, a breathless, insane sound. “I-I don’t c-care what happens t-to me,” She sings. “I hate you. I h-hate everyone here. I kn-know I-I’m gonna get t-targeted no matter w-what I do, b-because you all th-think I’m so horrible…so I should h-hit back f-first, right?” She wobbles, hands knotted in her hair again. “B-but I hate you the most. I-I wanted y-you to know how you made me feel, even j-just a little.”
Even without seeing her face, he can sense her malice, thick and unpleasant like the smell of rot. He hasn’t been the target of such blatant contempt in years, and the complete hostility that she radiates makes him feel a little unsteady.
“Fine. We will figure out the details ourselves. You’ve given us enough clues already.” Kirigiri replies coolly. “Unfortunately for you, only one person will be dying after this trial.”
He’s not sure how she can be so confident about that. The pounding in his head is getting worse, and as his eyes slip closed, he finds he’s not even sure where to start with everything; after all this, they were still not any closer to a definite conclusion. All they had done so far was run blindly around each other, getting lured to dead-ends and circles.
Through the low throb of pain in his skull, he can just barely make out the sound of quiet muttering fromMakoto’s direction. If he opened his eyes, he might have seen the other boy tapping his foot, resting his chin in his hand as he thinks. And if he could have seen, he might have noticed how Makoto’s eyes were darting, drawing invisible lines between fixed points in his mind.
“The place where Chihiro died. And Toko found the body. That’s what we need to figure out,” He says aloud, slowly. “I don’t think Chihiro died on the second floor. There’s no place with enough blood that could justify it, or enough evidence of a clean-up to suggest that it happened there. Even in the hallway where the body was found, the only blood there was against the wall from where Chihiro was crucified. There’s no splatter to match the method of death.”
“Yeah, but there’s no place on the first floor to suggest that Chihiro died there, either.” Asahina points out.
“No, there is one room. There was no blood there, but there was evidence that it was cleaned recently.” Even as he says this, Owada is beginning to gasp, ‘Wait-’, but he continues. “And, it’s somewhere someone got injured recently, so any blood that was missed can be explained away.”
He turns to the pale, silent figure of Kiyotaka Ishimaru, as still and unobtrusive as a ghost. “Taka. Can you please tell us what happened?”
___
Of course, Mondo blocks him before Taka can even respond.
“How dare you.” His voice is a low rumble, and he somehow looks angrier than Makoto has ever seen him. He can practically hear the creak of wood where Mondo was gripping the bannister, knuckles white and bulging. “What the fuck are you trying to pull, Makoto? What the fuck are you trying to say?!”
Makoto swallows, his heart feeling like it’s about to pop out of his chest. He’s seen Mondo both at his most violent moments, and at his kindest ones, his face softening with sympathy as he was listening to Chihiro, the hearty reassurance and gentle clap on the back he had offered to them both. But now Mondo looked like he might actually kill him, and would make it hurt while it happened.
But despite that, he presses on. “I know you said that a trophy fell on Taka’s head, and that’s how you found him. When I went to look at the trophy room, the floor was still wet, and it was clean - like, really clean. And I assumed it was because you went back and cleaned it up after Taka got injured, but looking back, that doesn’t make sense.” He glances briefly at Kyoko, who merely closes her eyes in silent assent. “If your friend had a concussion, wouldn’t you stay by his side?”
Mondo’s face pulls into a snarl, a vein bulging at his temple. “So what if I went back and cleaned it up? Maybe Taka wanted to rest alone. What the hell does that matter?”
“No, I think it does matter. You don’t act like it, but you’re really nice, Mondo. When you were talking with me and Chihiro, and told us about your bro-”
He cuts himself off for a moment, suddenly hesitant. He’s already revealed Byakuya’s secret. He didn’t want to have to reveal Mondo’s as well, even now. He didn’t want to betray anyone else, but-
He already hates me for what I’m doing. He thinks to himself. Whether he reveals Mondo’s secret now or not, he knows that no matter what, he was going to be hated; there was no chance at the friendly ribbing and pleasant exchanges they had in the past. But even despite that, he finds himself unwilling to form the words on his tongue.
He needn’t have bothered though. Kyoko is the one who speaks up in his stead. “There’s no point in hiding the fact that you care deeply for Taka. We all remember the display of friendship the two of you put on the other day after spending weeks at each other’s throats. And as someone who’s familiar with violence, I imagine you’re also familiar with basic first aid; so why would you abandon someone with a head injury to clean up the other room?”
Mondo glares at her furiously, but there’s sweat beading on his forehead now. “You-you meddling bitch, what the fuck are you-?!”
“Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything.” She sighs. Makoto thinks she looks a little haggard, with dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes, and wonders when the last time she slept was. Despite that, her eyes are still sharp, and meet Mondo’s glower with a cool stare. “But, since we are missing out on Toko’s testimony, I think we should have our last witness speak for himself.”
And before she had even finished her sentence, Taka was opening his mouth.
< previous - from start - next >
#thpff#thpff chapters#byakuya togami#danganronpa fanfiction#my earlobe itches. i think i got bit by a mosquito. it's right over where my piercing closed up too....#really hoping that toko's personal reasoning makes sense here. oohh babygirl you are so full of problems....#might make a separate post trying to analyze toko in this context. maybe. idk yet#byakuya straight up clocks out partway through this so makoto gets to narrate#both bc he's tired as hell and also bc i got worried i was making things too repetitive with his pov#i think its pretty clear by now who the culprit is. amazing team effort by the class to start figuring it out in the last stretch of things#curious if anyone else thinks they know what the full story is before it all gets revealed next chap (eyes emote)#sorry for da wait btw i was simply turning into soup. u know how it is
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I recently got watercolors and I LOVE THEM!!! I'm especially proud of the lighting on the candles. :D
#unrelated post#jewish art#I got carried away painting the outlines and poppy seeds on the challah and then realized partway through “OH NO!”#“I FORGOT THE COVER!!”#ah well
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#got through my bone marrow biopsy 👍#I have a very high pain tolerance but I still needed a break partway through#my partner went with me and was very helpful#(my wife just started her job a month ago so it's harder for her to get the time off)#I should get results in 2 weeks#I hope it's the 'worse' option tbh#because treatment would be much more accessible and straightforward
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March is turning out to be the month where my monthly reading list is, by far, leading me to the best books. Just winner after winner. Books that I not only enjoy, but recognize as quality literature.
Part of this is because I stacked the list with Great Christian Writers I already know I like and who have large bodies of work to choose new books from, but for every book I happen to choose from these authors to be this good is pretty astounding.
And that's not even getting into how exploring the reading list leads me down rabbit holes that also lead me to great books. Like, I picked up my unread children's poetry anthology in the vague hope that there was a Chesterton poem inside that I could use to cheat on that list item. There wasn't one, but I dove into those poems and I've read 2/3 of the book now, and that led me to pick up some Christina Rossetti.
I feel so literary and I'm loving it.
#books#the only dud so far was emily wilde unfortunately#got way too deep into the paralleling fae with demons thing than i'm comfortable with and i quit like 25% through#and i haven't even touched the lewis books yet but i have high hopes#(i keep intending for it to be a sunday read and then having other things to do on sunday)#i'm not going to comment on the books i have read because i'm only partway through most of them#so it'd be better to save it for easter#also this month is teaching me that choosing an author is a better plan than choosing a specific book#it allows for more flexibility in the choices#like i usually have a specific book in mind for each author but if i'm not feeling it then i can branch out into their other work#and it leads to some nice surprises
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The more I think about The Bad Batch as a complete show but incomplete story, the more I think that if they’re doing what I think they could be doing, the more I think it could work really well from a storytelling perspective. So well that I’m actually annoyed about it.
#the bad batch#yes I’m still on my ‘I don’t think the story is over’ bullshit#the Hunter-Omega relationship arc resolved and it actually resolved very well#nothing else resolved at all#not even Crosshair#not completely anyway#a lot of my criticisms about the finale come from a place#of thinking that the bad batch is a very good show#that’s mostly very well written and thematically consistent#but which simply doesn’t end#apart from the Hunter-Omega-Tantiss plot#it all just kind of stops#I actually think “the cavalry has arrived#works very well as a season finale#which#I think that’s what it is#we didn’t get a long finale#we got episodes fifteen and sixteen bunched together I think#you can almost see where the credits are supposed to roll after the first half#and the thing is#as long as we’re getting more in some form#even if—perhaps especially if—there’s a shift in the POV character#I’m actually okay with that#it’s a good show I just need the rest of the story#now if that is what’s happening#if this is a story artificially cut in half with a POV shift partway through#I still think this is the most batshit way to handle it from an audience expectation perspective#and I don’t appreciate that AT ALL#for MANY reasons
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anon is right, more hunter lore.
he's very fun. love your ideas.
Do you mind if I ask what goes on regarding all the magic stuff? Is he Aideen-adjacent or just kind of vibing? Somewhere in-between? I know there's some drama going on with Sabine 🤔
I wasn't expecting my guy to get this much attention, thank you guys!
Going to be completely honest here: I'm a very new player who only really started playing SSO in January of this year, and took about a month's break from the main quests in March. As a result, I've almost definitely forgotten a lot of important lore surrounding Aideen/soul rider magic, and don't have many of the magical shenanigans in Hunter's story fully thought out :'))
But! It has definitely been on my mind. Hunter's specific role among the soul riders + his relationship with the different circles of magic are works in progress so here's what I've been working with so far!
(Content warning for some (pink) blood in image!)
Lately, I've been messing with the idea (just for fun) that Hunter's a conduit for Aideen, rather than a descendant or reincarnation. He has almost no magical power of his own, and relies pretty much entirely on the whims of an incorporeal, deity-like being to perform any kind of soul rider magic. Essentially, he gets partially possessed every now and again when what remains of Aideen's soul decides that it would be beneficial to the fate of Jorvik and/or its inhabitants. During this "possession", Hunter functions as a point at which her soul (which I think was supposed to be scattered among the horses, people, and nature of Jorvik? correct me if I'm wrong. Hunter's lore google doc is in dire need of revision and organization anyways) can condense enough to produce magic from any of the four circles, and create the illusion that he's the mystical fifth soul rider.
Other bits of this idea from the google doc:
The four runestones in Valedale respond to a concentrated "presence" of Aideen, rather than to Hunter himself.
He's aware of this. Aideen's not of this world in cannon (emerged from a falling star), and practically dissolved into the entire island of Jorvik. Containing even a fraction of her soul in a human body is a jarring experience that can cause a lot of issues for the "host" ranging from minor side effects (cold sweating, shortness of breath, dizziness, headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, mild nausea, etc.) to more severe (short memory gaps, nosebleeds, migraines, loss of consciousness, insomnia, severe nausea, visual disturbances and/or hallucinations, auditory disturbances and/or hallucinations, etc.).
Maybe losing so much of his memory and original personality in the process of getting to Jorvik counts as losing part of a soul? So it creates a kind of "empty space" that Aideen's own soul is able to fill whenever she so chooses, and that's why Hunter works as a conduit/vessel, rather than a reincarnation. Idk. May have to workshop this.
The soul riders, valiant reincarnations of previous soul riders. +This one guy who has a weird thing with the local deity
Hunter and Aideen have a similar relationship to roommates who butt heads frequently but have no intention of leaving to seek a better roommate. but in Hunter's brain/soul/body. Bodymates. Soulmates (derogatory) (not romantic) (not platonic either). Symbiotic relationship. Both parties benefit and Hunter recognizes the necessity of it for saving Jorvik but he's still having a very bad no good time with the side effects, and he's still mad at her for letting him die.
This is the idea that I like working with the most so far, but I'll update y'all if there's something better in the works! :^D
As for Sabine: I was in a weird headspace while making that little comic of Hunter and Sabine up in Dinosaur Valley. At the time, it was just intended to be the end of Hunter's story. He'd be a spooky character who haunts the forest up in the valley as a ghost and that's that. Maybe the world's doomed by Garnok now, maybe the keepers find someone to replace him. Hunter doesn't know, he's dead on a mountainside and doomed to spend eternity wandering in search of an escape from Sabine.
A couple weeks after making that scene, I decided I didn't want that to be the end of his story. Just because it's kind of sad :( As much as I delight in making Hunter's wildly out of place string of crimes for a backstory, and making him experience endless horrors, Star Stable's very much a happy game for me. It's something I couldn't afford as a 10 year old but desperately wanted, and bought for myself with adult money a decade later to live out some old horseboy dream with beloved pixel horsies. :) To end my first (and so far only) player character's story there feels like a disservice, so I've got that scenario tucked away as a sort of AU/alternate timeline thing. It's still very fun to draw and think about because I love giving characters horrors to experience, but I want him to keep going on horse adventures in Jorvik :D
I decided that he does in fact die there in the Hidden Valley though. Not many people can survive that kind of thing after all. Aideen, however, decides she doesn't want to lose her vessel just yet, and Hunter's resurrected through a combination of the power of horsies and friendship Aideen's connection to the star circle and WizardEgg's (Starter horse) Starbreed magics. Magical resurrection results in the ability to channel more of Aideen's magic, but also the worsening of side effects, and a glowing star-shaped scar on his forehead that appears when using said magic.
^Old doodle from when I was playing around with negative side effects of magic :)
The whole scene creates a point of tension between he and Aideen. Hunter thinks Aideen could have done more to prevent it, and isn't particularly fond of the new, worsened magical side effects. Aideen isn't mortal and so doesn't think the way mortals do. She sees her vessel as having gained more power, and knows he'll come to understand the value of that power in the future. She's right, but he's still going to be mad about it.
As for Sabine? Hunter's still scared of her! Her and all the dark riders! They're spooky 👻 and he's a bit of a coward! Hunter lost a lot of his nerve/confidence with his memories during the boating incident, along with coordination and a couple other odds and ends.
#Thank you for the ask and sorry for delay!!! I've been working on a big thing for the Jorvik Pride event! This was fun :DDDD#SSO's magic lore is super cool but I sadly don't remember a ton of cannon info :((#sso oc#my art#cw blood#oc asks#Hope this answer's alright :') partway through it feels like I got lost in the sauce
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timelapse of maid boy rollerblader 🎨
#art timelapse#timelapse#process#clip studio paint#glad tumblr actually lets me post a 5min vid instead of capped at 2min loll#it feels like its harder to tell what changes are actually happening when i have to speed it up a lot haha#also it starts partway through bc i was redrawing in an old file and i just remembered to actually turn the timelapse on before i got too#far into it fjgjg#i did actually want to put this under the cut in a reblog of the og but tumblr wouldn’t let me put a vid there 😔 idk if i did it wrong lol
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