#i got my disability card if it wasn't apparent

[japhgura]

*holds up my disability card to rizz you up with my autism* Is that enough or do you want me to talk about highly specific character dynamics for a long time

[lilacgaby]

title: i've changed, won't you see?

pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader

summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.

tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread

(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)

wc: ~4k

your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.

they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.

"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"

"quirkless don't do anything."

your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"

in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..

once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.

blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.

were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.

but katsuki remembered so much more.

the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?

his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.

he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.

he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?

finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.

you didn't respond to them either.

katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.

he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.

one that wouldn't disappear.

he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?

but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.

your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.

your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.

the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.

you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.

you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.

yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.

he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.

everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.

that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.

with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.

because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.

he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"[name], uh-- this is your work."

you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.

he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,

and he couldn't even apologize.

- - -

U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.

as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.

nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.

katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.

he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.

but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.

he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.

a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.

you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.

he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.

he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.

he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.

"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.

as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.

he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."

he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."

"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"

his heart jumped into his throat.

"uh.. we did."

"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"

"i definitely don't think so."

"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."

"uh-- i--"

"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.

it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.

he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.

he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."

your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.

"i know this is a lot but,

can we be friends?"

he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.

in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.

he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.

"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.

he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.

after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.

"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.

"what makes you ask?"

"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."

she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."

"then i'll take you."

"you don't have t--"

"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."

"i..

okay, okay bakugo."

"katsuki."

you smiled, "katsuki."

going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.

he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.

you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.

he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.

a penthouse.

as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.

you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.

he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."

the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.

"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"

at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"

you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.

"of course i want you to come,

katsuki."

you signed his name differently than other times,

you'd finally made a name for him.

he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.

but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."

"okay, that's good."

"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.

you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.

"sure, okay."

he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.

the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.

he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.

but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.

"'suki. g'morning."

his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."

after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.

"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.

he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."

and he did walk you home, hand in hand.

those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.

he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?

is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?

he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.

he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.

he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.

it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.

on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.

the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.

also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.

you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.

you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.

you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.

what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.

you'd never been so happy.

the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.

the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.

you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.

you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.

the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.

your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.

you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.

you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.

a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.

you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.

"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.

"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.

the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.

your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.

your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.

your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.

"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.

"kats--"

"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.

"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.

i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.

that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.

i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.

not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.

i guess what i'm trying to say is..

sorry, and.. i love you [name].

you don't have to--"

he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.

it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.

"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.

and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.

i really care for you too katsuki."

the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.

your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.

seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.

he thinks he was born to make you happy.

the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.

a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.

"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."

"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."

he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.

he wished he pushed you more.

he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.

you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.

you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.

but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.

you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.

katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.

he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.

why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.

when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..

scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.

it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.

you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?

you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.

after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..

until he saved you from yourself.

you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.

but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.

he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.

you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"

you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.

you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.

little did you know, he was thinking about you too.

the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.

it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.

"can i come in?"

you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.

"katsuki i--"

"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.

"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.

it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."

"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."

"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."

a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.

"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."

he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.

he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.

"wanna take this back to my place?"

he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.

you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.

he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.

he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.

he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.

...

but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.

he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,

and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.

you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.

he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,

with a kiss.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For insisting on not paying past due library fines?

When I (nonbinary) was about 7 or so years old, I had a book report due for school and I needed to borrow some books from the library to do it. My mom took me to borrow some. My mom told me when I was done we could go back and return them before they were due back (which would be the next day). My mom took the books when I was done, put them aside to bring back the next day, and then promptly forgot. I reminded her a few times and she said she'd bring them back after she got out from work while I was at school. I believed her, until a handful of years later when I was looking to borrow one of her novels to read in high school, and I saw them buried at the bottom of a box in her closet. I talked to her about it and she said "well it's too late now, it's fine they won't care because it's been years" and I believed her. I didn't bother again with the library until about last year or so (I was 24) when I wanted to replace my old library card so that my daughter (4 at the time) could borrow some books. I am VERY good at returning the things I borrow from anyone on time because I panic and get paranoid if I don't, so I wasn't worried about making the same mistake my mom did.

The library did not see it that way. Because the books when I was 7 were taken out under my name, those debts were not my mom's- they were mine. They told me I was not allowed to replace or use a library card until I paid off my fines. I owed about $200 apparently. I told them that I was only 7 years old when I borrowed those books and that I had no way of returning them on my own without a parent or guardian, and that my parent had failed to help me return them on time. That shouldn't be on me, because again, I was 7. And I didn't realize they were never returned until nearly 10 years later. They kept saying that I had to pay the debt, and that my daughter would never be allowed to have a library card until I paid my debt or she was an adult, whichever came first.

I'm 25 now, my daughter is 5, and I've still been trying to fight off this debt, because it doesn't seem fair. I especially can't pay it now, I live off of disability and foodstamps and live in a shared shelter agreement with a family member. But my daughter loves reading, and I want her to be able to utilize the library. I also would like to start reading again, and borrowing books is the easiest way for me to do so.

My family keeps saying how I should just either pay it off or let it go, that I'm a "Karen" for bothering the librarians about this so much. I don't like being rude to people, I've been about as polite (and apparently timid according to my partner) as I possibly can be about this, so I'm really worried that me fighting this has been making it harder and stressful for the librarians. Am I the asshole? Should I just stop and let it go?

What are these acronyms?

[princess-of-the-corner]

Honestly, one thing to bring up about canon: Adrien only gave his "high road" advice ONCE, when all Lila was doing was "lying about having disabilities" and Marinette seemingly got her Akumatized by obsessing over something that honestly wasn't a big deal, and he NEVER brings it up again after Lila starts targeting Marinette.

Also, the only reason he HELPS Lila is to basically try and negotiate to get her to leave Marinette alone. He does not bend over backwards to encourage her behavior.

Yet Salt Fics act like he lectures Marinette to "take the high road" every time Lila goes after her and was in fact doing whatever Lila asked of him from the moment she first showed up.

Which is just...

The exact opposite of what happens in canon?

Like, his advice makes PERFECT sense with the information he has access to. Eventually, if Lila really IS lying about her disabilities, she'd slip up and her entire house of cards would collapse around her. He doesn't know that Lila threatened Marinette, and Marinette didn't mention that when they talked about her after the fact.

Frankly, Marinette is lucky that nobody cut ties with her for apparently bullying a disabled kid over seating arrangements, because frankly, as someone who has been accused of faking PTSD for clout because the person I was arguing with REALLY wanted to win that argument we were having, Marinette was just looking like an ableist Karen.

Yeah no like.

I've discussed this extensively, but while lying is still 'bad'(especially lying about disabilities), as far as Adrien observed nothing that 'bad' is happening. The 'worst' thing that happened was the class rearranging to accommodate Lila's disability(which he has no proof is fake even if he doesn't believe the cause). It kinda sucks for Mari, but that's more on her for being last one to class so she couldn't pick her own seat. But that's a different conversation.

Adrien's advice isn't just 'take the high road and things will work out'. He says that her current actions are doing very little harm, so unless she starts causing harm, stay back and don't...... act like a madwoman scrutinizing someone's disability claims to the point she gets Akumatized.

Saltfics often went into ways that Lila's lies /could/ cause harm. Purposeful manipulation to turn them against Mari. Promising the class to get them all sorts of things with her 'connections'. Giving awful advice like that 'she tells Alya to toss her babysitting duties at Marinette' trope that was popular. And then these fics throw it in Adrien's face of 'see she is causing harm!!'

Completely ignoring that 1.) She hadn't been doing any of that before in Canon, and 2.) Adrien literally said 'if it gets worse then we do something' and that qualifies as 'worse' so he'd do something!

Swinging back to Mari:

Honestly though like. We the audience know Lila is probably lying about everything. But the class has little reason to doubt any of Lila's claims, especially the disability ones. And I actually applaud them for taking a disability claim at face value and helping with accommodations!

And yeah that's why the class is so mad at her in this episode. It's not 'how dare you question Lila!' it's 'girl you are foaming at the mouth trying to prove that the new student is faking a disability what the fuck is wrong with you'?

Especially because, thanks to Marinette's actions, the class fully believes this is about Adrien, not about Lila's hypothetical lies. Not just 'she sometimes goes nuts over Adrien' but her actions this very episode.

Remember the seating issue? Lila's new spot was next to Adrien. And when Marinette is raving about how Lila is faking and how she doesn't want to sit in the back, Adrien speaks up to try and help saying 'Okay, you can take my seat and I'll go sit in the back', prompting her to scream that no he has to stay there and Lila has to move.

So yeah she really made it seem to be all about Adrien without Lila even having to do shit.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Installations

Well, first, the Saga of the Graphics Card.

The graphics card was supposed to arrive just before New Year. And then it didn't. And it didn't. And it continued to didn't. So by about the third I just went, "Okay, fine, time to get on to customer service". Since this was a first offense, I decided it didn't require "talking to a human being", so I hit their support chat and basically went, "The graphics card I paid a fair bit of money for has not arrived, so could you just send me one that actually gets here? Thanks". And the AI or whatever said "Sure".

Taking the delivery was fun. While the doorbell technically works, I still can't buzz people into the building from the comfort of my foyer (my stepfather is looking into it; which means I'll probably have it fixed sometime next year). So I had to haul my poor disabled ass downstairs to let the guy in. He was such a nice guy. He not only had my graphics card, but he also had the new headset mic I'd ordered (since my last one has proven to have worn out to the point where my input is a staticky mess). Thing is, he only remembered seeing it when I got to the door, so he went all the way back to his van to get it. See, while we do have visitor parking out front, we have a few residents who use it for their second cars, so the visitors parking is usually full ... which is ironic when you consider that only maybe two-thirds of the actual residents have cars and use their allotted parking spaces. Anyway, he had a couple of deliveries for other residents in the building so since I was going upstairs anyway, I offered to take the one that was going up to my floor. He was so nice, I figured I'd spare him the trip.

So anyway, I wasn't going to install everything last night because ... well, the machine was on and doing things, and I didn't want to turn the whole thing off and on again, and I figured to do it in the morning (or afternoon, whenever I woke up) so I'd be fresher for any disasters that happened in the process of installing the new graphics card. I did test the headset mic, though, with help from a voice chat with @true0neutral - the new headset works fine, and proves that my poor old headset has to be put out to pasture.

So today, I put in the new graphics card.

THINGS I CAN NO LONGER DO EASILY BECAUSE OF FUCKING FIBROMYALGIA, #839 - manhandle a computer tower to install things.

I mean, the unplugging of everything was a bitch, and then hauling it onto the desk was more of a bitch, and then I had to do some dusting of the inside of the PC, which I guess was okay, and then I had to pull the old graphics card, which was a little frustrating, and then I lost a screw in the casing and had to rattle it around like one of those toys where you tilt a box to get a marble through a maze into a hole, which hurt, and then I had to plug in the new graphics card, which was awkward, and then I had to put everything back together again, which hurt, and then I had to plug everything back in, which hurt more...

And then it decided it wanted to enter setup mode because I guess something went wrong in POST, which was terrifying. But I honestly made no changes to it that I'm aware of; I just put it back to default settings (which apparently changed nothing) and it restarted just fine. However, as is the nature of things, I'm going to be paranoid about it until I'm sure it's not going to do that again.

For now, it all seems to have worked out. My machine is ... actually quieter now, and apart from a little bit of hiccupping as it decided which of my two monitors it wanted to be using for what, and which speakers to use (WHY is it defaulting to my headset? I have speakers and I want to USE THEM), things seem to be working as intended. Of course, I haven't tried to play any games on it yet. I did all this before I'd even had my coffee, y'see, so coffee has to happen before anything else. So the first part of the testing - regular PC function - has to happen while I have at least half my Big Mug O'Coffee. And then I am going to start slowly with an indie game, nothing too graphics intensive, and then I will check how it runs with DA2, and only then will I try it on Baldur's Gate 3.

Look, I get a little paranoid, okay? I've been doing this for about two decades and I should be pretty chill about upgrading my PC when I've literally built a machine from spare parts twice ... but it pays to be cautious, I've found. I'd rather have a little bit of paranoia for awhile and catch any problem before it becomes a big one than tell myself everything's fine and then get blindsided by something exploding. The last time I was too chill about an upgrade, my power supply basically blew up.

No, I am not kidding.

[zanyana626]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss Oops episode! 😈🤡

Everything’s tagged as #hb spoilers until tomorrow for those who haven't seen it yet!

Not a cuckoo c**k for a clock!

Wakey-wakey Ozzie (not a morning person apparently)! *airhorns*

"Burger time! Burger time! Burger Time!" Ok, Fizz is starting to become my new favorite character! Also, why he pronouncing vibrators like that???

Greed Ring having a city named Ransom? Yep, that sounds about right for the ring.

I FUCKING KNEW HE CALLS HIM BIG DADDY!!! AND "Fizzie-frog"?!?!?! Too cute, <3.

And look at them big ol' eyes, I definitely couldn't say no to that face:

"We're so NOT in love!" "Yeah! Love. Is. STUPID!!!" Denial's not just a river in Egypt, you two!!!

"I'll be SUPER low-key!" ... Riiiiight.

The Queives (plural for Queefs, according to the subtitles). And the little disabled one??? VIV, WE WANT NAMES FOR THE LIL GUYS ASAP!!!

Enter Blitzø, who's complaining about some shitty coffee place!

"Well, at least I'm still actually working for my shit & not getting everything handed to me like some pampered attention wh**e!" VS "Plus, my horns were always bigger than yours... weren't they?"

Crimson & Striker teamup! Guess Blitzø & Fizz are gonna have to put their beef aside and work together to get away from them!

Ozzie & the Dildo Factory

So asking for an asmodean crystal was real! Poor Stolas being conflicted about how he feels towards Blitzy.

And Ozzie respecting people's hookup intentions and having the idea of lust as a consensual thing? Glad to know he's not like Valentino, who as far as we know, monetizes sex & treats his workers like shit/his property.

"My partner-um BUSINESS partner" Yep, keep telling yourself that Ozzie, at least you and Stolas are in the same boat for that!

Jeez Crim, what's your problem with Ozzie???

More Blitzø VS Fizz drama

Also Blitzø, Stolas does seem to care, he just has a tough time trying to say it to your face and plus, you're no better by bottling up your true feelings for him & then push him away like whatever!

Fizz, I love you now, but also envy you for having Striker grab you by the neck like that!

"I SAID WATCH 'EM, NOT F**K 'EM!!!" Typical Crimson

Damn, Ozzie could've signed over Fizz's head to be one of Crimson's wall trophies if Stolas wasn't there to help him out!

Nope nevermind, that wasn't the real contract! Also, why does Crimson want more dildos after failing to convice Moxxie that they're around the house for "his liking"??? I'm guessing he's trying to recuperate the funds he lost after Millie murdered all his goons & trashed his place!

Happy owl noises:  "I love words!" He's such a dork, I'm living for it! <3

Blitzø always having something up his sleeves when it comes to escape plans!

FINALLY, FLASHBACK/ANSWERS ON THEIR FALLING OUT!!! No wonder why Fizz & Barbie hate Blitzø's guts & Blitzø acts the way he does.

He's very much aware that he screwed up big time even if it was an accident and never meant to almost kill his bestie, traumatize his sister, & HIS MOM!!!

I'm guessing Cash was the one who tried splitting them up. He went as far as to give Fizz a birthday card that literally says "I wish you were my son"!!!

"WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A F**KING EMOTIONAL MOMENT HERE!"

Using Blitzø as a human/imp? shield does kinda serve him right in a way

"Kaiju C**k". Yep Fizz, we're very much aware that Ozzie's a big boy

"Look At This" has been stuck in my head since listening it for the first time. Perfect distraction musical that makes no sense other than just being a distraction musical!

"So, f**king, BYE BYE!!!" 🎶

Damn, cowboy daddy's starting to go insane in the brain! He's most likely gonna have burned scars now the next time (yep, he got away again) we see him!

You can take Blitzø out of the circus, but you can't take the circus out of Blitzø!

THE BOIS HUGGED IT OUT!!!! Hope this means they're on more neutral terms now! I get that it might take Fizz a while to fully forgive & start over with Blitzø now that they're aware of the whole misunderstanding on both their ends, but still, it's a start!!!

"Woooould it f**k up the moment if we made out now?" Blitzø please, we're aware you had a (love) note for Fizz before the incident, but he's clearly happily taken by one of the 7 sins!

Fizzmodeus/Fizzarozzie reunited & it feels so good! <3

At least they're trying to be more open about their relationship, even if it's limited to their coworkers/entourage at the moment!

Welp, looks like Stolas is getting that crystal after all!

I'd say this is the best episode so far out of Season 2, Fizz & Ozzie were totally worth the wait and have now become part of my top 5 characters of the show!!!

[rosetyler42]

I actually recently had a moment like this!

See, back in about March of this year, I was having bad symptoms I would later find out were dental abscesses and bad-teeth related. I felt like crap, had a hard time sleeping, I was having nosebleeds, the works.

Anyway, I ended up dragging myself out at like 4-something in the evening and went for a walk. I got to this spot where the local furniture store dumps out into my street and saw a car heading right for me. Now, had I been clearer headed, I probably would have tried sprinting for it, but I didn't. Not sure if I didn't think to or wasn't sure I could. Anyway, So I waved my arms to try to get them to stop.

They didn't. Apparently the sun was too bright and they couldn't see me. Luckily, they only knocked me over onto the road, scraping my knee and spilling my water bottle on the ground. But otherwise I was fine.

Luckily, this guy was quite nice about it. He apologized profusely and went to go get me a new water bottle. Even gave me his card in case I needed some furniture or appliances. And I got a snack from one of the passersby.

But yeah, I kinda feel like all these guys are being jerks. Yeah, it's not nice to threaten to run people over. Especially for some dumb post. And it's bad to assume EVERYONE out walking is being a dick and WILLFULLY DISREGARDING Traffic safety rules with only a pass for the old and disabled. You don't know other people's lives, and people are already dicks to those with invisible disabilities and illnesses. There's already a tendency to assume malice when someone doesn't act the way we expect them to. However, it's just as bad (and DANGEROUS) to be cocky to drivers while out walking and to deliberately hold things up. Not only is it rude to hold things up regardless of circumstances, but road rage is a thing. You could end up with the light turning green on you before you finish. And you DO have a big disadvantage in a fight between you and a car. There's a reason pedestrians have the right of way. There's a REASON cars have to stop to let pedestrians cross. There's a REASON there's so many rules and regulations around car use.

A car is a big zooming metal box, and you are a walking peice of soft squishy meat. In a fight between a car and a human, even if it's a complete ACCIDENT, the car almost ALWAYS wins.

It's NOT a power trip on EITHER SIDE. It's a safety precaution.

It's like why it's not a good idea to get in the way of somebody holding scissors or a knife. Even if they have no intention of hurting you, accidents happen. And when people are mad, they don't think straight.

I don't care HOW annoyed you get, or how powerful things make you feel. Don't assume all pedestrians are being jerks out to annoy you, and don't piss off people who are piloting potentially dangerous vehicles.

[littlewalken]

may 7

Got several creative half ideas to do depending on the time and if I'm home situation. As hard as it is to try an organize my notes for one of them it will be good for my brain.

Still having to put other things on hold for an IRL situation out of my control. I know the moment I make a mess that only tiny girl can get thru a giant repair person will also need to get in.

I think I will be parting with more physical books. When I can go thru them.

The dollhouse is going to move to a more visible place in my room. Haven't set it up yet, yay migraines, but I still need to put something under it to get the ground floor off the regular floor so it'll attract less dust bunnies in their kitchen.

I thought the two figaro chains I had put my charm bracelet charms on would do them, looks like I'll have to redo it again. Can't say if we're going back to three chains of double charm spaces or I'll be taking apart the figaros and making one bracelet of just long double links. Time to think about that.

Well...

Actually I should believe I have to put the broom charm back on my bracelet and be prepared to declare shenanigans. Which month's rent receipt do you want to prove the assistant manager with a stack of them on her desk didn't process ours?

Yeah. We're going there today.

Do not make me have to find my disabled card neither. While she knows we're on disability, had to do all the income checking stuff, and rental assistance, she doesn't know what my disability is because it's invisible and unless it's about accommodations you really can't easily and outright ask.

My memory wasn't affected and my probably on the spectrum ass is so structure happy that my rent amount, yay money orders, regularly comes out of my bank account and I have years of receipts and stubs.

So as I said, which month for this place do you want.

And our state just passed a bill where yo have to scream from the mountain tops why you are kicking a tenant out without a legal reason because you want to move friends or family or similar bullshit in.

Our only request was downstairs and not by the pool or playground. This wasn't the only downstairs unit ready at the time.

And this is not the only 'something's going on' going on apparently.

*What's going on is someone's email reading comprehension is for shit and it was just an automated message to remind us that late fees can occur.

But the saga of mis remembering a number by someone who easily confuses directions and what not continues and looks like it will until we leave this place if not for the rest of their lives because they refuse to understand something that we just got the print out for.

Didn't help that the fish store is still out of cleaner skrimps.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Villain DekuWifeAU | 4

"Hi Ms. Midoriya are you still able to meet at the cafe."

"Yes I can sorry i'm just running a little-ack! Sorry just running a little late because I've had an unexpected visitor in my house."

The detective chuckled behind his hand as he heard the swooshing of your broom and the croaks of a frog through the phone.

"Take your time Miss I'll be here."

Shinso relaxed in his seat sipping on his fifth espresso for the day. It wasn't his typical scene, staying awake when the sun was up but when such an important witness to the case couldn't be reached without raising alarm it was just better. Comfort over compromise. His motto, one that he chanted when the curse of boredom sought to stink up a perfectly good stakeout.

He'd spoken with the woman in question few times before as she seemed to be the center of a lot of villain activity, coming out unscathed. Then the way her husband was just didn't rub him right. He spoke with the suspect, a strangely fit for such a square. Apparently he's quirkless and a big fan of heroes; he religiously follows along with the merchandise and TV series of the heroes. What he noted as especially weird, was the insane amount of cameras in the house. Small ones, in very intimate spaces. He took the liberty of taking them down and disabling them. (Y/n) wasn't aware and It didn't seem like Izuku knew about them either. When he came home he was surprised at the detective but coninued to carry on casually completing his tasks. Hardly moving strangely at all for the camera's convenience. Either way his assessment on the Midoriya's is that they were involved in some capacity with the villains, possibly familial? He really didn't know but good for him both Mr. and Mrs. Midoriya had a habit for rambling and hopefully he'd catch something new.

-------------- Shoto was not happy. His inside view of the his family was completely severed. Thanks to that wretched detective! He especially needed to know what was happening in there so he would know how to play his cards right. He was sure Izuku knew about them or maybe he didn't. He honestly didn't know. Something that distinguished the two as villains was that he could never tell if Izuku was working a persona or really just as two-faced as he acted. Deku would've identified the cameras and would have exposed Shoto immediately but Izuku on the other hand was probably too tired from of his 'stressful job' and too occupied wih fawning over his wife. Right now it didn't matter, from what he got before the cameras self destructed, that hypnotic-detective was the culprit. Recently he'd been a thorn in their association's side: chasing away clients and policing routes. He was someone they had to crush but that was easier said than done when this detective was tipping actual underground heroes to investigate. Actual connections to real threats didn't make him just an average detective. He wouldn't have cared if Deku hadn't made such a point to avoid him and he hated when Deku didn't just crush threats immediately. 'Speaking of crushing threats immediately' he figured maybe sending Pyrodast's little team on their own might be a good idea. ---------

"Welcome home, Honey!" Peck.

Izuku returned the gesture to his wife, reaching for you as you walked back to your task of cleaning the living room. He was so nervous, this was going to be so hard. But if he wanted it both ways he'll have to make some headway with you. For Shoto's sake.

"Hey Love, can I ask you a question?"

"Oh yeah, sure."

"What-what do you think of Shoto, that coworker that gave you the manga?"

You immediately snapped to attention. As if you didn't know who Shoto was. He was the work husband that had been bold enough to come to your house and challenge you. On top of that he had the audacity to try and buy you off with an entire set of discontinued series of manga. Jokes on him all it did was wisen me up to his richboy's tactics.

"What I think about him?"

"Yes."

"I think he's a very nice man. What do you think of him?"

Oh no. That was oddly passive aggressive.

"Uhm...Well I l-like him."

"Oh you do, huh?" You turned to smile at him but the rag you were tearing in your hands said that it wasn't for a good reason.

"Uhm yea-" "Bet you're itching to go out to a fancy hero event all by yourselves, huh?!"

Izuku was super confused but it sounded like you knew too much but at the same time knew nothing at all.

"Not exactly. But baby can I ask what exactly you're talking about?"

"I-I didn't want to tell you about it but-but me and Todoroki-kun are rivals fighting for your love!"

"What?"

You continued on animatedly telling him all about this dramatic battle that wasn't even actually happening. He loves you, deeply, but you can sometimes equate people with your manga character archetypes.

"Oh darling, you're far too precious."

"OH! I'll have to reschedule with that detective. That frog really made a mess of things."

Izuku chuckles and facepalms.

1st attempt to widen the relationship-failed

Bonus: "Let's execute plan 55, I know I can get the info we need. I'm sure of it." "Fine but if you end up getting decked in the face, don't look at me."

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

I'm finally back at the house.

The biggest issue that I didn't have time to get into in prior reblogs, was the fact that Bethy came to my room to tell me that Dave's dumbass friend, accused me of stealing the coffee that they drink every morning. And he told Bethy that if I don't give it back, he's coming to me room to get it himself.

This guy and I got into an argument a few weeks back because I was asking my mom about absentee ballots and he interrupted our conversation to stand over us making snide remarks about democrats and liberals and even followed me outside, making these comments as I had to wait for a Walmart order and the delivery guy was a black man, who had to hear a lot of M@G@ bullshit, as well the jabs about how I wasn't responding. So, I simply stated, "I don't break bread with Nazis," and got a snort from the delivery dude and a rant about how 'it's just politics' from the idiot.

Ever since then, for a guy who was supposedly unfazed by my words, he's been trying to claim I'm stealing his stuff at every opportunity.

He is homeless. Jobless. And a drunkard. He uses his disability payments on beer. He buys 2 24-pack cases every few days because he goes through them so fast. Everything my Ko-Fi and Patreon makes, goes to mom. She gets about $300 from me a month, which is basically me paying rent for this bedroom and the right to use the bathroom. That money often gets us food and toilet paper when we're out by the middle of the month.

He does not help with anything.

So, mom messaged me the other week to tell me he told Dave I ate his Pop-Tarts. They were about 5 weeks old and were on top of the fridge the entire time. I took one packet for myself, and mom saw there were Pop-Tarts and asked for some. I gave her the other box up there as it went untouched and unopened. Mind you, SHE bought them. He then started claiming I was drinking his soda.

Mom buys all the drinks. She drinks the ZERO versions of stuff these days whenever she gets it but gets a regular version 'for the house' as she calls it. That also sat there for 5 weeks because no one apparently liked strawberry Dr. Pepper(I think that's what it is). I asked to try one and she said sure(it was gross btw). He saw me take one. He whined to Dave about me taking his drinks.

The drinks that are for him specifically are Pepsi. Of all the things to accuse me of stealing, Pepsi would make more sense as it's close enough to Coke, but mom gets me Fauxke from Walmart now and then so I wouldn't even need it.

What I know is that while he was in prison for a month for assaulting a state trooper, Bethy got ahold of his card and used some of his money for groceries. On one hand, theft, on the other hand, if she didn't, he would have been several hundred dollars over the $2,000 max disabled people are allowed to have in the US. So, he would have lost his disability benefits entirely if she didn't use his money to get us food.

He first claimed not to care because he was glad not to have lost disability. Then a day later told Dave he was pissed and wanted all the money back immediately. Then said it didn't matter, and he didn't actually care all that much. Then barged into Bethy's room to scream at her over stealing his money. Then tried to claim a bunch of unrelated purchases were also her fault(they weren't) and tried to corner her into admitting it(she didn't). He's been very nasty to her ever since then.

It's been one dramatic thing after the other these past few weeks, so before Bethy and I left to visit mom, she came to tell me he was accusing me of stealing the coffee. Because I was supposedly eyeing it up. And in her words, she told him that, 'Helen doesn't drink coffee, and how would she make it without a coffee maker?'. And he claimed I could use my mini rice cooker to do it, so then she asked why he hasn't seen me using/washing cups of any sort when I regularly bring my cooker down to clean it. And why hasn't he smelled the coffee being made if I took it for myself? They can smell when I make ramen/pasta/rice, but not coffee?

He threatened to come into my room and get it if I don't hand it over.

So, in front of her, I hid a bunch of stuff in different places, cleaned up a bit, and left the broom in front of my door inside the room. It would blockade the door with the brush against the right wall and the handle leaning on the armoire to the left of my door. It was tricky to accomplish with the door mostly closed and would be hard to replicate.

When we got back, the broom had been moved. And the cushion on the sofa was shifted.

Neither mom nor I trust him, so I hid both of our laptops in the back of messy drawer in my armoire before going to the hospital. I brought both tablets with me. I hid my chargers and PS4 controller.

Bethy went back to the hospital, and they've given her permission to stay with mom for the night.

Finally, while at the hospital, Bethy confessed that dimwit has also accused me of abusing his dog. He told Bethy I kicked his dog super hard and that I need to keep my hands to myself, and Bethy apparently asked him why he'd care about the dog anyway since he was punching him in the face the day before yesterday and loudly screamed that he wasn't going to feed him all day as punishment(which he did in fact do, so Bethy fed him on the sly and got yelled at for it). That shut him up real quick. She also asked when this abuse supposedly happened because I never come downstairs unless it's to use the bathroom, and that dog doesn't come near me ever because he's either laying between mom's legs or lying beside his owner at any given moment.

So, the panic from mom being hospitalized, getting stuck there for hours without a ride, and knowing this asshole was left free roam of the house for hours before Dave got back from work, had me stressed tf out.

Bethy thinks he might have gone into her room, though she wasn't too sure. He's been making all kinds of accusations as of late, so this is where we're at.

I hate having to rely on ppl for things cuz Bethy left to get something and I've been stranded at the hospital for 2 hours and visiting hours are now over.

[laguera25]

Dear Rammstein,

On March 13, 2020, my dentist called to cancel my appointment. Because of the lockdown, he said, but not to worry, it would only be a few weeks, and then he would fix that cavity. I had no way of knowing then that I would not leave the house for anything other than dental procedures and the renewal of my library card until September 12, 2022.

It wasn't so bad at first. I have never much been comfortable around people; I have the social skills of a turnip and the social graces of a hyena with gout, and it was nice to have an excuse to bunk in with my long-neglected book trove and sit around in my underwear. No being stared at as I trundled along in my wheelchair, no being given pitying looks in the grocery store or stepped around as though I weren't there. No well-intentioned but annoying Christians offering to lay hands on me so God would heal my affliction. Just quiet. Blessed, blessed quiet.

Splendid. Until it wasn't. Until the momentary sense of community ignited by the onslaught of COVID disintegrated into paranoia and conspiracy theories and earnest discussions about whether or not the old and the fragile and the disabled were an acceptable loss if it meant the sacred economy could return to full function and those who "deserved" it could go back to their lives. Until I opened Twitter and saw my fellow countrymen declaring that trying to protect the vulnerable was a waste of time and resources, and that if a bunch of cripples died, so what? Why should they be robbed of their freedom by...wearing a mask. We could just stay inside forever and rot as long as they got to go on their vacations or out to eat. It was sad for the unfortunates, and they felt terribly, but those were, apparently, the breaks.

It should be noted that their heartfelt sorrow for the plight of did unfortunates did not stop them from spewing their awfulness with merry impunity where anyone could see it.

I've always known that my life never carried much value as far as the world is concerned. When your eyes are at asshole level, you see a lot of shit. But to see it expressed so baldly, and by people you respected--and by your grandmother, ab old lioness for has protected you all your life--breaks something inside you, collapses the faint hope that you were wrong, that you are just a crotchety misanthrope who wants to believe the worst. That people are better than you think.

Five months into the pandemic, the local hospital issued an edict that if medically-vulnerable people contracted COVID, they would not be treated, but sent home to live or die as they might. The resources were needed for those "with a better quality of life," i.e., those with lives they deemed worth living.

And I broke. I ate and slept and read, but I was numb and tired and empty and angry. The world didn't want me, so why should I want it? Why should I waste energy on it? I turned off and tuned out and spent my days staring blankly at Youtube videos.

And then, what should happen but that you should announce that the 2021 tour, which was out of my financial reach, was now slated for 2022? And here I was with two stimulus checks of which I had not spent a cent. In 2010, the hope of seeing you at MSG kept my head above the water. Maybe you would do it again.

Instead of moping, I began researching. Organizing. Planning. Weighing options. Budgeting. Who had time to listen to the nasty little ogres on the Internet when there were logistics to consider? For the first time since that phone call, I had hope of doing more than moldering in my rooms so my healthy superiors could live unencumbered by the dreadful horrors of a cloth mask they could easily remove.

I still seethed at the casual cruelty of my fellows, but now I got up and checked for tour news and watched videos of the European leg to see what to expect and savored Jens Koch's stunning photo work that allowed me to see details I knew I would miss in my terrible accessible seats. I had a purpose. A goal. I felt something other than nothing.

On September 12, 2022, I got into my van and made the eight-hour drive to Florida to pick up a friend, and then we made the thirteen-hour drive to San Antonio. It took four days because I'm just not built for endurance runs, and because my stubborn companion refused to believe the air conditioner was broken until we began to sweat to death even with the windows rolled down. Four days of hotels with no accessible rooms despite them being mandated by federal law. Four days of bathing in sinks and pissing in lobby restrooms and eating fast food and sleeping like shit because my body was in rebellion and exhausted from the adrenaline and the wild fluctuations in body temperature.

We pulled into San Antonio on the 16th. Surely I would get a shower now. My reservation was marked as accessible roll-in shower guaranteed. And this was a swank hotel. I could finally regain a little dignity.

Except...

After leaving me to stew in the lobby for two hours after I arrive, an alert bellhop realizes I've been there a while and fetches the manager, who has the grace to look embarrassed and personally delivers the keys. I got to my room, ecstatic at the prospect of a bath, only to find...a bathtub. Which I cannot get into.

I want to cry like a two-year-old. I am hot, dehydrated because it's dangerous to drink when you're not sure you can pee, and filthy. I reek. I know how I must look, like some greasy, slovenly invalid who lacks the awareness or ability to take care of herself. Like someone who should be institutionalized.

I want to protest, but the hotel is fully booked, and I don't want to draw attention to myself. I have driven roughly seventeen hundred miles in in a rolling blast furnace, and I can't risk being kicked out for not being properly grateful. So no shower. At least I can piss in private.

And then it is the 17th, and there is Schneider, and the darkness explodes, and I burst into tears because there you are. I made it. I might stink like a polecat in heat and be sore and dehydrated and exhausted, but you are there, and you are beautiful and magnificent, and nothing else matters, and for two hours, nothing hurts. I weep sporadically from "Armee der Tristen" through "Engel" and again at "Adieu." I'm sure some folks in the section thought I was crazy. I don't care. I was alive. I had rediscovered a sense of wonder I had lost.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. You kept my head above the water until I found the strength to pull myself out of the despair that threatened to pull me under. You reminded me that there was joy in the world, and wonder, and hope. You gave me a reason to fight even when I don't want to. There can be no greater gift.

No one will ever convince me there aren't wings beneath your skin. Bless you and godspeed, and may you find happiness wherever you go.

[fuck-customers]

I think I met the most stubborn customer alive today. I'm the movie theater employee that posts a lot, the one where my work has a Unlimited Movie Membership where you have to show the ticket person (me) your picture of your face on your digital card to use your free ticket.

Anyway, this old man comes in with an Unlimited ticket but isn't able to open his app. Turns out it was the person in box's first day working box so she accidently let him have his ticket from his old plastic card (which they're not allowed to use for the Unlimited. It's gotta be the digital one in the app. Yeah it's a pain in the ass, no I don't make the rules.)

Long story short, he stood next to me for almost two hours, grumbling at me and fiddling with his phone, trying to log into his app but not knowing how his phone works and also not letting me help him get the app to work either. It was less than a two hour movie.

This is extra annoying for me because I'm disabled and can't stand for long periods of time, but I am also not allowed to sit while I'm supposed to be helping a customer. I think I made it for almost an hour and a half before I was literally about to collapse any second and not be able to get back up, which is longer than I expected, but I did almost fall on my face at least half a dozen times and had to catch myself on something so I didn't hit the ground. But that was the point when I said fuck the rules and sat down anyway.

He wasn't even making any progress. I could see his phone and he was basically just resetting the password over and over and then opening the webpage (not the app), rinse and repeat. I dunno if he was just stalling in hopes I'd give up and just let him in without it, but you'd think of that's the case, he'd give up before the movie was basically over. I tried to give him directions on how to get it to work on his phone and he'd just say "that's what I've been doing" and then keep on angrily muttering about how he's been a customer for years, blah blah blah. It got to the point where I was just like "are you sure you don't want to just give up sir? It's clearly not working, and it's so late into your movie that it's not really worth watching at this point, yeah?" But he still didn't want to give up or let me actually help him.

My managers didn't want to do anything/deal with him because I guess he does this like, every time, so they just told me there's nothing they can do except wait for him to figure it out, stop asking. From what they said afterwards, there's something wrong with his app and he needs to email the help desk but apparently refuses to do so (despite the fact that he clearly knows how to use his email on his phone, since I saw him access it multiple times when resetting his password), so we just have to deal with this every time. Like bro, it'll be a hell of a lot easier for you and for us if you just do it? It's less effort than resetting your password at least a hundred times. Though for all I know, he got locked out of the app for spamming the password reset function.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for using my moms money to buy games?

The title sounds bad, but I'm not sure how else to word it. This is also going to be a weird one as, in advance, I know the other party isn't an asshole, however I think it's a similar situation im tone and I really need some feedback on this.

I'm 22 and live with my mom and cat. I've lived with her my whole life, and continue to due to disability. My mom has 2 jobs that she mainly works on weekends, and I'm unemployed. Ever since covid it's been incredibly difficult for me to find work because it is still very much a thing despite what people want to believe, and I can't be in contact with random people physically due to immune issues and the chance of getting sick. Online jobs are apparently very hard to find (my mom has tried) and many ask for a payment beforehand. I do however get social security income that pays most of our bills/utilities, and we're also on foodstamps for groceries.

My family has never been well off. I wouldn't call us dirt poor, we've never had to go hungry, and I always had toys to play with/clothes as a kid. But my mom has had to manage funds well and we've never had a lot of money for leisure or frivolous purchases. My mom will buy herself things like some new clothes, a phone charger, roku set, etc smaller things like that when she gets her paycheck but extra expenses such as furniture have to be planned out probably weeks/months ahead of time. We also moved recently and ever since then our budget has been more difficult, the down payment really screwed with my moms expenses.

Because of our situation, I never really had games growing up. I remember we had maybe 3 big family consoles during me and my sisters whole childhood (with like 3-6 games on them each, most of which were guitar hero which my mom and sister loved to play), and I would get a new handheld for myself every few years. I never got to play the new exciting games people were always talking about, and my gaming experience has really been limited to like. Animal crossing, the sims, and cooking mama.

I played a bunch of roms as a kid so that helped, but I was always kinda sad and felt left out that I never got to experience gaming the way other people did. I really wanted to try the "classics" people talked about but didn't have any way to. People (especially as I got into my 20s and started following streamers + nintendo direct for example) would always talk about the New Thing coming out and playing it the day it dropped, all the excitement and community people had around that, but if I really wanted that kind of game, I'd have to wait a few years before getting it and trying it out, and by then no one was playing it anymore anyways.

As time went on things got a little better. Especially because of my moms new jobs, both of which she genuinely loves doing, though it's still work, we have been a bit better off. It's only been recently we started struggling more again.

Recently I've been kind of asking for things from my mom. Mostly it's steam games. I found I've gotten much more into gaming as a hobby as I've gotten older, and I have a long wishlist of games that I really want to get into, but of course have no money to myself. I should also clarify that NONE of these are those big triple A $60 titles, as I still can't ever justify paying something so expensive for one game. So sometimes lately I've been asking my mom "hey, can I get this/these games?" And use her money/card to purchase them. I don't do it constantly, or even super often, but I feel like it's becoming more often and it makes me feel really guilty.

I have done this before, around high school I started asking my mom for certain things I wanted around the house, and usually she had no problem buying them for me. This also wasn't large stuff, nothing ever over $30 and usually only up to $20. But when I'd find something I *really* wanted, especially if it was a time limited thing like merch drops from a favorite content creator, often yarn for my knitting or art supplies I wanted to try, I would ask her.

I've pretty much always felt guilty about this. I would ask for something despite my better judgement, and for the most part my mom would say yes, and that it was okay, whereas I was the one apologizing and asking if it was "really alright". She has told me she has no issues buying things for me as long as I ask her. She says the social security I get is "technichally my money", and that she wants me to be able to use it. (Obviously we don't use the actual ssi to buy random shit, but her giving me spending money is the next best thing).

Every time I've asked my mom for something like this, I've told myself that it would be the last time, that I would get my own job and own money and not mooch on my mom anymore, but both with the stress of chronic illness and depression I never seem to get around to it. I try to do dishes and keep my room clean, take care of the cat etc as ways I can help without working, but for some reason the money really weighs on me. I know that it's really my fault, I haven't even been looking for jobs and I could always take art commissions again, but somehow a mental block always stops me.

I feel like I have a bit of an impulsivity problem when it comes to spending. The money I got from my one summer job and commissions would never last long, and honestly I couldn't even tell you what I spent it on for the weeks I had it. I have issues taking money from people, but when I realized that I may not have had the stuff I wanted as a kid simply because I never asked for/communicated that I wanted it, it made me more bold to actually ask my mom for things.

I never pester my mother about this. I'll ask once and if she says no I'll be dissapointed but won't continue. Sometimes she says that we don't have the money for it then, or that I'll have to wait until xyz thing is paid for, which is always fine. I also have *never* bought anything with her money without asking first. I get pretty much all the steam games I buy on sale (usually that's what prompts me to ask about them, actually) as personally I can't justify getting games for their asking price for the experience I'm going to get.

I feel bad as I feel like I'm wasting our money, mooching off my mom and not putting in the work to have spending money myself. I also worry that sometimes when she says it's fine, it's untrue and she's really just trying to make me feel better. I also sometimes don't play the games as soon as I get them, I have a sizeable backlog of games I have gotten but haven't "got around" to playing as I was excited to get them at a low price at the time, but then haven't felt like I'm in the right mood. This also makes me feel worse because I feel like I'm not being appreciative enough of her buying for me.

So am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[pastamic]

Please reblog!

I wasn't able to start my new job today as we have had to self isolate from someone in our household testing positive for covid (thankfully mine and my bfs results were both negative, thank you miss Dolly) but my bf hasn't been able to get money from donating plasma due to his heart rate being too high the last few times. And they apparently were anticipating firing me at the vet's office bc they gave me my last check that day (This was last week and it immediately went all to bills). We have to somehow find $400 to get our car turned into the insurance company to be fixed after the accident we were in ($50) and $288 to keep our car (that was what they finally settled on for an extension due to me losing my job was that amount up front within 10 days) and $62 for my cat's vet appt so he can go to his follow up for his eye. They thought it was lymphoma but after his antibiotics now we're not so sure and I'm just still really worried about him. It's also so we can buy food for them bc we're running out bc my last check literally went to paying $400 for the car and $80 for Nart's wellness plan but we're still in a hole bc that vet's office screwed me over so if anyone wants to donate to us or even spread this around that would be amazing bc we're kind of drowning rn and can't do much bc of self isolating. I've applied to unemployment but they're backed up as hell and there's a chance they lied about why I was fired since they seem to think I lied about whatever happened (a situation where some dogs got out of their kennel which has happened to everyone but because a client from a rescue saw I not only got screamed and cussed at, but fired. There's more context over on my twitter) and seemed to think I "lacked integrity" (I'm p sure it was related to me taking less hours due to my Disability and bc I'm autistic and they just wouldn't let me explain) My bf's paypal is @MPhillips120 if anyone wants to donate or spread it around. I can't even use my paypal bc my debit card account was closed without notice bc the vet's office didn't send back the overdraft when I paid it in October for the wellness plan so I'm kind of just dealing with a lot of financial nonsense and I really just wish it would stop. We both have job offers for pretty decent jobs but can't start them yet because we're still in mandatory isolation periods. I've even applied for pet food, litter, and medical assistance as well as rental and car assistance but a lot of places are so backed up that we haven't really heard back from anyone so if anyone can donate that would be amazing v.v Bf's paypal: MPhillips120

[defiantsuggestions]

cw: major privacy invasion, very long vent here

i still remember once when i was 14 my emotionally unstable, explosive mother who'd blow up over little things like answering a question "wrongly" cornered me in her car and asked me a question that immediately set me on edge

she told me that somebody (she vehemently refused to say who) told her that i was depressed, and she asked if it was true.

meanwhile i was texting my one brother things like "bro did you tell mom i was depressed shes cornering me in her car and im scared."

i said "i don't know." which was an honest answer.

i didn't know.

apparently that wasn't good enough for her.

so when i was taking a nap on the couch, she snatched my phone from me right as i woke up and READ MY PRIVATE MESSAGES IN FRONT OF ME.

i couldn't stop her. i was panicking and crying and clawing at her arm to try and pull it away from her and she just kept reading.

then she threw the phone back to me and said "all you had to say was the truth." and stormed off, entirely pissed after she didnt like the answer.

the answer was the same.

i told him i didn't know.

i think i was dissociating at that point bc my memory is rly blurry but i remember trying to put a lock on my phone and her coming around to tell me that if i did that she'd disable my phone.

this moronic whore stole my property, invaded my privacy, and then had the nerve to get mad bc i didn't trust her.

yeah no kidding genius this is what happens when ur emotionally abusive with a penchant for manipulation and gaslighting.

yeah, i blew up on her.

she had the nerve to pull the "concerned mother" card after i screamed at her about how much of a horrible person she was.

she tries to ignore it, like it never happened, but i will always remember the feeling of being absolutely violated for the rest of my life.

people tell me i shouldnt hate her bc shes my mother and she'll always be family but i dont see it.

family doesn't act like that.

You're completely in the right to hate her, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. People need to get it through their heads that sometimes a person's relatives are abusive assholes who don't deserve loyalty or respect.

"She'll always be family" bullshit, she abused you, invaded your privacy, terrorized you, and then got angry at you for having a reaction. Being related to someone by blood doesn't tie you to them, it isn't some sort of magical relationship that Must Be Upheld. She treated you horribly and she has earned your anger and distrust.

You're in the right. She hurt you. A "concerned mother" would have talked to you about her worries like an adult, would have offered support and a listening ear, not backed you into a corner and start screaming.

Nosy asshole doesn't give her kid privacy and then is shocked, shocked at the lack of trust.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You deserved better. Always remember that the damage to your relationship is her fault, she did this, not you.

(I do, gently, suggest you rethink your use of the word whore as an insult. You are absolutely allowed to be angry and to swear in this situation, but "whore" is often a sexist insult used against folks who are open with their sexuality, and they shouldn't be demonized.)

[tittyinfinity]

My bf and I both have warrants out for our arrests over things that neither of us did (2 unrelated situations, we weren't together at the time)

Like literally they're false charges and I wasn't even expecting to have a warrant since they let me out of jail the moment they realized they were wrong and said I was free to go???? But apparently I missed a court date, since my mail went to my mom's.

I was pulled over for having expired tags, but when they saw my friend passed out drunk in my back seat, they decided to assume I was drunk too; they gave me a breathalyzer, didn't tell me the results, threw me against my car, refused to tell me why I was being arrested, I demanded to be read my rights but they refused. BUT when they gave me a breathalyzer at the police station, they said I was fine and let me go. Yes, I had alcohol in my system from the couple of drinks I had, but I was way under the legal limit (and completely fine to drive), I blew a .037 or something like that, the legal limit is .08. They took me in and handcuffed me to a bar for 2 hours, DIDNT GIVE ME MY CLOTHES BACK, wouldn't let me use their phone to call a taxi since they impounded my car, stole $160 from me, made me walk to the gas station in NOVEMBER in 30 degree weather in A SHORT SLEEVE PAPER SHIRT AND PAPER PANTS THAY WERE RIPPED AT THE CROTCH WITH NO UNDERWEAR, just for me to get there to see the cop who denied me a ride to the gas station (HE WAS GOING THERE ANYWAY!!!!!) and then have to go home with nothing but my debit card that they returned.

My boyfriend was driving his ex's friend somewhere when he got pulled over, and didn't know that the person he was driving around was a meth dealer that had enough on them to be considered trafficking, and he got arrested for drug trafficking and is going to court for it a year and a half later still, having to take weekly drug tests despite the fact that he has never ONCE tested positive for meth.

Anyway. Fuck the police. And fuck our corrupt legal system. We're literally both innocent.

Also I know this is like the 100th time I've made this exact post about these exact situations but God dammit I need to vent bc it's pissing me off again.

I'd go to court, but I didn't qualify for a public defender and I can't afford a lawyer. My bf has a lawyer, but he sucks ass and doesn't do his job. I'd crowdfund to get a lawyer but it took me 3 weeks to crowdfund $25 for my nausea meds😅 being on disability sucks