#i got like 3 messages from my crush today and i might get more!!!!

[sadieladyreal]

Artwork from today

self portrait, gonna for part of a larger peice

Need to make the brow less prominent it looks like i have 4 eyebrows

[homestylehughes]

3 times jack wanted to kiss you and the one time he did.

pairing(s): jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: 3 times jack wanted to kiss yn and the one time he finally did.

warning(s): absolutely none! pure fluff : )

word count: 2k

authors note: hiiii guys! guess who is back from the dead... ME. for some reason I've hated everything I've written recently but something changed today and here we are LOL. this is going to be my last installment?? last part?? idk how to word it ANYWAYS this is my last fic to this prompt, I really enjoyed writing all of the different players to this, it was so fun! I hope you guys enjoyed them as much as I did :'). anywhoooo! I'm working on more things, be on the look out for a luke fic tmr!! I hope you all are healthy and well. much love as always <3

1.

Jack was convinced he was going to throw up. His hands shook as he sat on the steps of the lake house, awaiting your arrival. He hasn't seen you since christmas, and it's now june, 6 months of not seeing his best friend. Who he might or might not be in love with, but that's besides the point. He couldn't wait to see you, and have you all to himself for the next two weeks, if his family doesn't peel you away from him, which is very likely.

The speed of Jack's bouncing leg started to pick up as he saw your car pulling down the gravel driveway. His heart beat rose, as a smile spread across his face. Jumping up as soon as your car was parked in place. He practically spirited to your driver's side, throwing the door open quickly, pulling you into a bone crushing hug before you even got out of the car. 

“Jack!” your sweet voice giggled out, your face pressed into his neck, he couldn't help but take a deep breath of your shampoo, he can't believe you're actually here, in his arms. 

“Hi. im sorry, i missed you” he says pulling back to get a look at your face, seeing a bright smile and wide eyes looking at him.

“I missed you too, Jack,” you say before leaning up on your toes, pressing a sweet kiss on his cheek. The kiss catches him by surprise, he can literally feel the heat rush to his face as you pull back, sending him another smile. 

“Are you going to stand there and look at me like a lost puppy, or are you gonna help me bring my bags in?” 

“Oh. yes, sorry "Jack says, clearing his throat, stepping away from yn moving towards her truck to get her things.

Yn follows behind him, opening the trunk, turning her back to him as she takes in the view of the lake in front of her. 

“It's so pretty here jack, thank you for inviting me” yn says as she turns around, sending him another sweet smile before helping him grab her bags out the car. 

“You’re welcome, I'm happy you’re here” jack says sending her a smile as he walks behind her towards the house. 

He couldn't help but feel like something was different between them. The kiss that she placed on his cheek a few moments ago, had already left an invisible mark on his face. He couldn't help but imagine how her soft lips would feel on his. That's when jack hughes knew he was completely utterly in love with his best friend, and he really really wanted to kiss her, 

2. 

Ever since the lake house, something changed between jack and yn. Their communication became stronger, texting and calling almost everyday of the week. Innocent touches when they were together, Jack's hand never failing to find her lower back, yn always placing her hand on his arm, or maybe even moving to hold his hand. flirty banter between the both of them Jack couldn't help but feel like their friendship was beginning to blossom into something more. 

Even with the sudden change in their relationship, Jack couldn't help but be nervous as he typed out a message, asking her if she’d like to be his plus one at a gala for charity event that devils players attended every year. She’s come with him to these types of things before but this time it felt different. 

Hitting send on the message before turning his phone over. Jack let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, he wasn't even sure why he was so nervous. His phone dings not even a second later, with a text. Opening it quickly when he sees it from you, his eyes running over the text, that says you'd be more happy to go with him. He smiles at the response, typing another text to you, about the date and time. He couldn't help but wish Saturday would come sooner.

–

Before he knows it's Saturday, and once again Jack's hands are shaking as he walks down the hall to your apartment, with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Once he reaches your door, he can't help but worry if the flowers are too much. Do you even like flowers? Are you allergic to flowers? Pushing those thoughts down, deciding it's now or never, he says to himself as he knocks on your door.

“One second!” he hears you call out from the other side.

A minute or so passes before your door opens. Jack's breath leaves his body as he stares at you in awe. The floor length black dress you're wearing, fits your body like a glove. He can't help but trail his eyes up and down your body, taking all of your beauty in, 

“Do you like it?” you say, breaking the silence 

Jack swallows before speaking, “You look beautiful, yn” 

“thank you, you look quite handsome yourself” she says with a smile

“Thank you. Oh! These flowers are for you” holding the flowers out for yn to grab. “I'm not sure if you like flowers, I can't remember what kind you like, or if you even like them at all. So I just got a random mix. I hope you like them.” jack rambles anxiously

“Jack” yn says, stepping closer to him, taking the flowers from him, and leaning just close enough to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“They're beautiful, I love them. Thank you.” she smiles, “Now come inside, you look like a creep standing in hallway” she giggles 

Nodding his head in response, following yn into her apartment, shutting the door behind them. Jack can't help but let his eyes wander to how her ass moves in the dress. Taking a deep breath as he runs his hand across his face, in attempts to pull himself together. 

“I'm almost ready! I just need to put my shoes on and throw these flowers into a vase!” you yell from your bedroom

“Okay, take your time!” Jack says as he begins to slowly pace around your living room. 

The only thought running through his mind was how good your body would feel against his, how your dress would look laying on the floor, and most importantly how your lips would feel against his. 

3. 

“So when are you gonna finally ask yn out?” quinn says from beside him

“What? Where did this come from?” jack asks, turning to look at quinn 

“It's so obvious that you've been in love with her for literally forever” 

“Its not..” jack trails off 

“Dude. it is, you both are too scared to make the first move. She’s obviously into you” 

“I don't think so, i can't read her sometimes” jack counters

“Are you serious” quinn scoffs

“Yes..?” jack says slowly

“Jack, can you do me a favor?” quinn asks 

“Yes” 

“Please, do me a favor.. grow a pair of balls and ask her out” 

“What if she rejects me, and i ruin our friendship” jack says defensively 

“Jack, for the love of god. She won't reject you. Just ask her” quinn sighs 

“Okay okay. But if this all goes to shit, i'm blaming your dumbass” jack says, pointing at him

“It wont, but okay” Quinn replies, rolling his eyes. 

“Should I ask her out in person? Of over text? Facetime? Call-” 

“Call her now” quinn says cutting him off

“Now?” 

“Yes jack, go call her now” quinn says, giving jack a slight shove

“Okay okay, i'm going” getting up before quinn can say or do anything else. Walking into the kitchen, pulling out his phone, clicking on your contact, moving his phone to his ear as it rings.

“Hi jack” you say, answering on the second ring

“Hi yn, i wanted to ask you something” 

“Yes?” 

“Are you busy this weekend?” he asks nervously

“No, I don't think so, why?” you ask 

Taking a deep breath before he speaks, “I was wondering if you'd like to go out, like on a date, with me?” The line is quiet for a moment, Jack almost feels stupid for even asking, as you go radio silent.

“I would love too” you finally answer

“Really? I mean- okay great. I’ll pick you up on Friday at 7?” 

“Friday at 7 works for me” you say, jack can practically hear the smile in your voice as you speak

“Okay great, i'll see you then” he smiles 

“Bye jack” 

“Bye pretty girl, see you friday '' he says before ending the call, he can't help but throw his hands in the air like he's celebrating a goal. 

“QUINN!” he yells 

“Yes?” quinn answers as he walks into the kitchen 

“SHE SAID YES!!!” he shouts, before pulling quinn into a hug

“What did i tell you” 

“I know” 

“But hey, at least you finally did it. Maybe you'll get that kiss you've been wanting so bad, "Quinn says, smacking his back before walking out of the kitchen. Shaking his head at his brother's statement, even though he can't help but hope he's right. 

Because Jack really really really wants to kiss you, and he's not sure how much longer he can wait. 

+1

“Okay give me your hands' 'Jack says to a blindfolded yn, who's holding out her hands as she begins to follow him, walking like a baby beer who's just taking its first steps. 

“Jack, i swear to god if i fall, i will kill you” 

“Calm downnnn, you know I won't let that happen. Especially on our first date '' Jack says, sending her a smile even though she can't see it. 

“Okay how much longer? I'm getting nervous” yn asks 

“Almost there pretty girl, be patient” 

“I’m tryingg ” yn whines to him

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at her, “only a few more steps, i promise” he says, walking them about 5 more steps before stopping. 

“Okay are you ready?” he asks

“Very” 

Taking a deep breath, Jack moves in front of her, pulling off the blindfold from her face, moving beside her once it's off. Yn’s jaw drops slightly in awe as she stares at the sight in front of her. 

A picnic setup lays out in front of her, with every type of snack you can possibly want, all of her favorites. Along with a bunch of pillows, a bottle of wine, flowers; you name it, it's there. Her eyes couldn't help but water as he stared in awe. Jack's hands nervously move from beside her, waiting for her to say something. 

“Jack..” yn starts, turning towards him, “this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can't believe you did all of this” 

“You deserve nothing less than the best” he smiles 

“You're so sweet. Thank you this is all so amazing” she says, moving closer to him, Jack who's thinking he's about to get another sweet kiss on his cheek is greatly surprised when he feels her lips come in contact with his. His lips against hers before his brain even registers what's happening. 

Her hands snaked around his neck, as their kiss deepenes. Jack's hands move to her waist, pulling her body into his as their lips continue to move together as one. A few moments pass before the pull away, their lips swollen as they stare back at each other. 

“I wanted to do that for a long time” he says

“Me too.” yn replies 

“Wanna do that again?” jack asks with a small smirk

“I'd thought you'd never ask” yn replies before reconnecting their lips

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖? 𝕆𝕦𝕣 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖?! ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: hiii!!!! hru? i have a little bit specific request, hope thats ok!!!

idk if u know the translation from the song “karakuri pierrot” by miku, but basically shes gettin dumped cuz her crush left her waiting on the date and never came 😭

id like to request smth based on this song with fantasista squad, like, they forgot abt the date and then theyre like😨😨😨😨((a happy ending would be appreciated <3

sorry if its too much, if it bothers you just ignore this LMAOAAOAO😭😭😭

anyways ty and bye!🤍

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hii! I'm sorry but u don't do songfics but it still sounded interesting so I just based it on your description! Hope it's alright!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

"What the hell is wrong with this strand..."

Akito muttered to himself as he tried styling his hair a bit more elegantly. He had a date at a restaurant with you today and he prefered to look properly on it.

He was fully focused on his hair, getting a bit annoyed... he let our so many curses, even Ena came to his room and gave him instecutions just so he could shut up! But despite her tips... he had that one annoying hair strand that he couldn't get a hang of...

He finally decided to just look up some tutorials on internet, when he noticed the time... it was half an hour after the time you agreed to meet! And the amount of messages he got from you only told him how pissed you could be now...

He decided to drop his tries at calming the strand and just get to you as soon as he could, hoping that you were still there... you didn't leave this place yet, right? At least you haven't texted him about it...

He tried not to run to not sweat in his suit, so he settled on quick walk. When he arrived he noticed you getting up from a bench, clearly disappointed and about to leave, and he couldn't blame you for it...

"I'm sorry... I... I had a little problem."

He points at his hair strand as soon as he walked up to you, and you couldn't help but chuckle. He was dressed formally but that strand was ruining everything about this style!

"Hehe~ You really did. You could've asked me, I would've helped you..."

"I guess I will next time... you look beautiful, thank you for waiting for me... let's catch up, alright? My treat. And we can go to mall after it..."

You knew how much he hated going to mall, and now he didn't even said anything about not caring your bags so maybe he will? He really looked like he wasn't lying so... might as well forgive him for this one time situation, right?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @hayillaaaaaaa - come get your pancakes lover!

Toya actually wasn't late, he'd be even 5 or 10 minutes early in this tempo so he walked calmly. It was when he was walking past some granny who was clearly struggling and he couldn't just walk past without caring...

"Excuse me, are you alright?"

And that's how it started... it turned out the older lady had a problem with getting 2 bags up to 4th floor, so of course he helped. And after he did that? She offered him some cookies, cup of coffee and even a small chat... she was so nice and chatty he couldn't just say he needs to go...

So thinking he has the time, he accepted it and didn't even realize it was half an hour that passed untill he looked at his phone, and finally excused himself.

"<I'm aware I'm running late, please wait just 10 more minutes for me, I'll be there soon and explain everything to you.>"

He texted you in a hurry as he picked up his peace and quickly walked towards location of your date.

When he finally arrived, he was just a little bit out of breath but quickly sat down next to you and as soon as he catched his breath, he explained everything to you.

And honestly, how can you even be mad at someone as pure as him? He just wanted to help person in need after all... sure, it's still 30 minutes delay but just this time, maybe he can be forgiven for that...

"And when I thought she finished telling me about her cat's story for past 15 minutes, it turned out she had 3 more cats..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @toyaslove @bl4cktourmaline @infernoram - come get your cookie lover!

It may be a simple date, but for Tsukasa? It was big event and he had to look dazzling! He didn't care if he was rejecting 5th outfit by now nor did he about passing time... he thought he still had time and continued looking for perfect outfit for your date!

And when he finally found it... the perfect outfit! He finally reached for his phone but froze upon seeing the time... he was 1,5 hours late already and had around 17 unread messages from you!!

"<Y'know what? Fine. I'm going home. Thanks for nothing.>"

"<I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T LEAVE YET>"

"<Too bad, I'm already home since HALF AN HOUR>"

He could feel his heart sinking and he knew all of that is his fault alone. So he got up quickly and ran straight towards your house.

After around 10 minutes since Tsukasa's text, you heard a knock on your door, so you of course went to open, just for flowers and chocolates to be showed into your face when you did.

"Please forgive me... I wanted to look my best and... I had hard time deciding..."

"You're always looking your best... you could've just came..."

"I know, I should. And I'm really sorry that I didn't! Please let me take you out on a date... this time I'll be an hour early."

He had desperate look in his eyes as he tried to convince you to give him just one last chance... but whether you give him this chance or not, is only up to you! I mean... he does assure you plenty of times to set multiple alarms next time just in case... maybe he'll indeed do better from now on?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star~

Rui hummed gentle tune to himself while he was working on a robot. He was fully focused but he forgot to mute his phone... so he kept hearing notifications in the background but ignored it, thinking it's Tsukasa having spider under his bed again... and that could wait a little bit~

But when notifications became too much, he finally checked it and his face immidietly turned to pure shock and nervousness when he noticed it's his partner... and it hit him, he forgot about the date! He quickly opened your texts and rushes to respond while he got dressed.

"<We can cancel it I guess...>"

"<Nononono!! I'm coming now, I'm so sorry for making you wait! Please give me 5 more minutes, I promise to run!>"

At this point, he was panicking, he just grabbed essential things and of course little gift he prepared for you, and ran out of his house.

When he arrives, you were just sitting on a bench with head in your hands, obviously disappointed and it was obvious he hurt your feelings. Seeing that, he immidietly rushed to you and wrapped his arms around you and caressing your back.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... It won't happen again, I promise..."

He could only wrap his arms around you tighter and he tried fighting the tears himself, realization of him driving you to this point finally hitting him. But now, he'll do his best to catch up for his mistake and make this date one to remember.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @infernoram @superstar-ethereal - come get your crazy inventor~

[stevesbestgirl]

Phases of the Moon - Part 3

Steven Grant x f!Reader, eventual Marc Spector x f!Reader

4747 words

Warnings: minor angst, mutual pining, idiots in love, chances of a few minor swears, miscommunication

As always, keep in mind that I am not a system and am not an expert. All of my information about their relationship comes from the Moon Knight show and I use that as my reference point.

*Bold type is spoken by Marc when Steven is fronting.*

Masterlist

Steven sent you his schedule for the next week on Sunday, “We can start the north wing this week, if you like.” He was a bit nervous about it- after what Donna had said.

You wanted to see him again; you were still happy to be friends with Steven. But you hadn’t replied yet- you needed a bit more space than you’d originally thought in order to get over this crush.

Steven was working Tuesday again and even though you hadn’t responded to his message, he’d still hoped you would show up. But his break came and went and he started to worry that Marc had been right. Maybe he had blown it. He’d must’ve done something on Saturday that made you decide not to come back. He knew he could be a bit oblivious, but he couldn’t figure it out for the life of him.

Come Wednesday, he spent far too much time agonizing over whether he should call you. He was up so late, he overslept Thursday morning. It was strangely nostalgic of his life before he’d known about Marc, but the charm quickly wore off when Donna got on his case. Not that she ever needed a reason, but she seemed pleased to have an excuse to torment him.

In fact, she must have enjoyed reaming him so much that morning that she returned in the afternoon. He did his best to appear busy as she marched up to the counter, her phone clutched in her hand, “I suppose you and your girlfriend think you’re being rather cute, don’t you?” Her tone was more derisive than downright angry.

“Sorry, what are you on about?”

“Like you haven’t seen this?” Donna brandished her phone. Steven tried to get a look, but only caught a glimpse of the some website before she huffed and pulled it back around, reading aloud, “Received a tour today from the gift shoppist, Steven Grant. Steven’s knowledge of Egypt is only surpassed by his enthusiasm for it, which makes this museum patron pity the museum management who waste his talents for touring in the gift shop. So-” 

Steven didn’t realize he was smiling until Donna looked up from her screen, “Oh- don’t look so pleased. Your girlfriend can write all the reviews she likes, but it won’t convince me to make you a guide.”

“There’s more?”

“Like I’m going to continue stroking your ego or whatever,” Donna wrinkled her nose. “Just get back to work. At the counter.”

As soon as Donna disappeared from sight, Steven had his own phone out, not bothering to hide it from the customer that had just walked over to browse. He scanned the site until he found it- your review. 

He read aloud, beginning hushed and growing louder as he went, “So, I will most definitely be returning for the rest of the tour in hopes that others might share in the experience. As lucky as I’ve been to enjoy a private tour, it would be selfish to keep Steven a secret.”

Steven’s chest felt light, “Did you hear that, mate?” The young man clutching a plastic pyramid looked around, confused, but Steven didn’t wait for a response, “I think she likes me. Or she did like me. Bloody hell, I’ve gotta call her- I’ve gotta call her right now.”

He pulled out his phone and faltered, “Wait, but-” his finger hovered over your contact, “If she liked me enough to leave that review, why hasn’t she replied to my message?”

The customer gave a weak shrug, hesitantly setting the pyramid on the counter. Steven seemed to only notice him just then, “Right, of course, let me get that for you.” He cashed him out and once he was out of sight, he continued staring at his phone. He’d texted you Sunday; this was the fifth day with no response. What if you’d changed your mind?

“Steven, just call her.” Marc sounded exasperated, watching on from the mirror behind the counter.

Steven glanced at the mirror, looking stricken, “What if she doesn’t like me anymore? That’s why she hasn’t answered.”

Steven was putting the phone away, moaning under his breath about how he’d blown this. Marc knew he could front, call you himself, but that kind of defeated the purpose. This was Steven’s show to run.

Steven pressed his palms into the wood, “Alright, get a grip on yourself, mate. C’mon.” 

His halfhearted attempt at a pep talk stuttered to a halt when he glanced up, seeing you walk in. You were dressed casually today, wearing a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt with planets on it. Not that it made any difference to Steven; he thought you looked lovely in whatever you wore. 

“Marc, she’s really here right, I’m not just mad, am I?”

“Two things can be true,” Marc quipped, falling silent as you approached.

*

You tried not to look too much at Steven as you approached the gift shop; you needed to keep yourself in check today. No flirting, no admiring, and definitely no pining. Steven was your friend, that was all.

“You came back.” Now your eyes were drawn to Steven as he spoke, sounding like he’d seen some kind of angel instead of just you, torturing yourself.

“Of course I came back, I need the rest of the tour, right?” You smiled; that wasn’t flirting, right?

“I didn’t hear from you, so I thought you might have gotten tired of hearing me talk,” he chuckled weakly. 

You breathed a sigh of relief; at least it didn’t sound like he’d seen your review. He deserved it and you hoped he might read it someday, but it was easier this way. It gave you time to quash the little ache in your chest at the sight of him.

“I’m sorry about that, my cousin’s been dragging me off to visit family all week, so I’ve been a bit scattered.” Lying to Steven didn’t feel very good. “But I’ll always come back for a tour; you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

Steven couldn’t figure out what you were thinking. You were being perfectly pleasant to him- it didn’t seem like you were upset. But you’d withdrawn from him; you weren’t being as playful- as open with him as you’d been before. You were being polite. Distant.

He tried to swallow past the tightness in his throat, “Does that mean you want to start the north wing today?”

“If you’ve got time for me- if not, that's completely alright, I should have told you I was coming-”

He nodded furiously, “Course I do; always got time for you, don’t I love?”

You tried to keep your expression even; why was this so hard? Why did he have to be so sweet and charming and positively dense? “Thanks.”

There was a beat of silence before Steven clapped his hands together, “Well, let’s get started then.” 

Things were awkward. And it was your fault. But you couldn’t let yourself be sucked back into that magnetic field of Steven’s warm personality. It would make this- being friends- impossible. You were probably giving him a weird vibe. And maybe he was mad at you for ignoring him. Most people would be; you might’ve been if you were in his position.

But he didn’t give up on you, that was for certain. He still spoke to you with the same enthusiasm as before. You wondered if he even had it in him to be mean to someone; it seemed doubtful. 

It felt like if you tried hard enough, you could envision the little bubble of radiant energy that emanated from Steven, with you standing just outside. He was trying extra hard to make you smile, it seemed, adding little jokes to his explanations. You couldn’t help yourself, lips turning up as he asked you, “Why didn’t Cleopatra go to the psychiatrist?”

“Why?”

“She was the Queen of Denial.” He rocked on his heels and did a “buh dum tss” motion with his hands, a goofy smile on his face.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of you, “That was absolutely awful, Steven. How long have you had that abomination in your pocket?”

He seemed rather relieved to see the hint of your usual self and suddenly it felt the same as it had before. You were back to making your little quips and teasing him again. He realized he’d missed hearing your laugh. 

He kept moving, beaming as you continued to complain about the bad jokes. He’d been scolded an awful lot of times in his life, but he never liked it so much before you did it. The way you’d roll your eyes at him, but then you’d smile; it made his stomach drop. 

Glancing at his watch, his stomach dropped again, but not in as pleasant a way, “Oh bollocks, I’m late getting back again.” He hadn’t thought you were coming today so he hadn’t set an alarm.

This time Steven pulled you by the hand back toward the gift shop. “I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” you huffed, trying to keep up with him and ignore the way he was clutching your hand.

“Sorry, I’m a bit hopeless I’m afraid,” he grimaced as he hurried around a corner, only to stumble to a halt as he caught sight of Donna over by the front desk with JB. He ducked back behind the wall, pulling you back with him. Surprised by his sudden change in direction, you stumbled.

In a moment of rare coordination, Steven kept you upright by your hand, pulling you back in and catching you in his other arm. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared up at him, pressed to his chest by his arm around your back. 

“Careful,” he breathed, speaking so low that his accent was barely audible.

You peered out, comprehension dawning on your face. That is, until you inhaled, the scent of whatever kind of soap Steven used filling your senses. You were far too close- this was not good. It felt like you were short-circuiting, staring up at him with your mouth half-open like a deer in headlights. Two minutes ago, you were thinking that maybe you could pull off this whole friend deal and now you were struggling to form even a single word because proximity to Steven was intoxicating.

“Sorry to surprise you,” he whispered again, only now beginning to blush. 

“You’re- uh- it’s fine. Fine,” you managed to get out. You peeked around the corner again, “I think you’re safe now.” 

You took a hasty step backwards and now Steven looked flustered, “Right. Better get back then and hope she hasn’t gone to check on me.”

You nodded, following him back the rest of the way to the gift shop, relieved to see Donna wasn’t poking around. You leaned against the counter, hoping your face wasn’t flushed, although you supposed you could blame it on all the rushing around, “Sorry.”

His brow furrowed slightly, “What are you sorry for?”

You gave him a wry smile, “Seems like I keep getting you into messy situations. I’d hate for you to get into real trouble.”

“I’ve been in real trouble before, you don’t need to worry.” He chuckled and you almost felt like you were being left out of a joke. But he smiled at you, “But just to be safe, when will you be back? So I can set another alarm. Just in case you get busy again, you know.” You weren’t prepared for Steven to tease you; you suddenly felt a bit warm.

You turned away, absently examining a stuffed mummy off one of the racks, “When do you have time?”

“I’m working the morning shift tomorrow; if you came by around two, we could do like we did on Saturday,” he offered.

“You don’t mind staying late after a real shift?” You smiled; teasing him wasn’t flirting. And he was doing it to you too. 

“I told you, love, I’ve always got time for you.” It was like he wanted you to suffer.

You chuckled weakly, “And you’re sure you haven’t gotten yourself punished with inventory again this week?” 

“I haven’t been punished quite yet, although that might change now that Donna’s read your review,” Steven smiled. “She was a bit steamed about it this morning.” You tried to smile back, but your mouth was suddenly dry. Steven tilted his head, “You alright?”

You prayed your cheeks didn’t give you away even as you could feel the warmth creeping through them, “Sorry, yeah. I didn’t, um, realize you’d seen that. It’s a bit embarrassing.” 

“Why’s it embarrassing?” That little furrow between his brows returned and you wanted to shout the answer at him; it felt like it was so obvious and it was somehow more humiliating that he hadn’t picked up on it.

“You didn’t think it was-” you bit your lip, searching for the most diplomatic way to put it, “A bit much?”

Steven’s lips parted in understanding, but his brow remained furrowed, “A bit more than I deserve, maybe, but I thought it was lovely. No one’s ever said something so nice about me- not that I can remember anyways.” 

You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from telling him that he deserved to hear so much more than that; Steven was oblivious, but not that oblivious. At least you didn’t think so. “Well, I’m glad I posted it then. Especially if Donna wasn’t happy,” you smiled.

“She read about half of it to me and it was quite satisfying, if I can be honest,” Steven grinned guiltily.

“Did she see any of the others?”

“The others?” Steven cocked his head. “Did you leave more than one?”

You shook your head, “No, the other people who have been listening to your tour did.” He stared at you like he didn’t understand, so you smiled, chagrined, “Okay, so maybe I mentioned it to a few of them when that little boy was asking you if he could draw on the walls like in the displays.”

You gestured for him to check his phone and Steven was quiet for a long moment, just scrolling through and seeing his name before speaking softly, a small smile on his face, “No wonder Donna was so short with me this morning.” 

“And you still didn’t get inventory? You must be having a good day.”

Steven remembered how nervous he’d been this morning, thinking that you didn’t want to see him anymore. You’d pulled away from him and he wasn’t sure why. But all of those worries had dissolved into nothing when he’d heard you laugh. And he’d gotten to hold you close, albeit because of Marc’s split second of intervention. And you were coming back to see him again tomorrow.

The corners of his lips tugged up, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” you patted the counter. “See you tomorrow at two then?”

He nodded,  “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Once you were out of sight, Marc spoke up, “No one’s ever said anything that nice to you, huh?”

Steven rolled his eyes at the gift shop mirror, “I was excluding people I share a body with.”

“Oh, well you should have said so-”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to mention that to her next time, won’t I?”

Mark’s retort was cut short by the clack of Donna’s shoes on the polished floor. “Stevie, glad to see you’re back at your post,” she mused, sarcasm evident. He opened his mouth to protest, but she tapped her watch, “I came by at three seventeen and where were you? Not here, that’s for sure. Off with your little girlfriend again? You know what I’m gonna say.”

“Donna, no- I’ll stay late tonight to make it up-”

“What good does that do me? No. You’re in the back tomorrow.”

“I can’t work late tomorrow, I’ve got a date.” He was going to ask you to dinner after the tour was finished.

“Well I imagine you don’t anymore, do you?”

“I can’t cancel, Donna, I’ll do the next two Fridays instead.” Steven hated that he had to plead with Donna; he usually just put his head down and took it, but he couldn’t cancel on you. He couldn’t risk messing this up again. 

Donna gave her head a derisive toss, “Well, guess you should have thought of that before you took an extra long break, yeah?” And she clacked away, taking Steven’s good mood with her.

Steven shook his head insistently, “I can’t- I can’t cancel on her.” But still, he took out his phone, sending you a text, “Spoke too soon on inventory, I’m afraid.”

You were already on the bus, on your way home, so you replied quickly, “Oh no. Was it because of the reviews?”

“No, completely unrelated.” Steven wasn’t going to tell you that it was because he’d gone over on his break either. He didn’t want you to feel guilty about coming around to visit him.

“Well, I’m still sorry- I’m sure it wasn’t justified. We can reschedule, no big deal.” 

“We could still get dinner after I’m off at eight, if you like?”

Last week you would have been overjoyed at the offer, but now you felt strange. You wanted to go, but you had a feeling it might be bad for you in the long term. You were already pushing your luck as it was. 

“I’m sorry, Steven. I’ve actually already got plans for dinner tomorrow.” It was difficult to type and even more difficult to actually send it; you hated lying to Steven.

“Right, of course. I’ll let you know my schedule tomorrow. We can choose another day.” He felt a bit of panic; what if you had a date with someone else?

“Looking forward to it.” You sent a follow-up message, “Don’t forget to read those other reviews. Hope they cheer you up a bit.” 

Steven sighed at his phone. So much for his good day. Although, thinking about the nice things you’d said about him, the way you’d looked at him when he’d held you close- maybe it was still alright. He returned to the website, searching more thoroughly this time. 

There were a handful of others, the most recent from barely twenty minutes ago. He wasn’t even sure when you’d found time to speak to anyone today, but somehow, you had. And they were all lovely. He felt his face flush at the idea of all of those people saying nice things about him. One in particular caught his eye, though not because of what it said about him.

In the very last paragraph, it read, “Steven, if you’re reading this, you’re a lucky man. Hold onto her. -Dorothy.” She signed her name on the review like it was a letter. Steven remembered the older woman who’d been trailing after you during his tour; he’d slowed down a bit that day so she could keep up.

“Well Dorothy, I gotta get my arms around her to hold on, don’t I?” he murmured sardonically. 

Come Friday, Steven started his shift feeling a bit downcast. He should be walking around the museum with you right now- making you laugh, finding a way to hold your hand again. Instead, he cursed Donna under his breath and clocked in. He was pleased to find out from the first shift at the gift shop that she’d left for the day; at least he wouldn’t have to listen to her complaints today.

Around four, Steven’s heart leapt as your name popped up on his phone, “How’s the inventory going?” 

“I’ve not started yet. Manning the counter until 7 and then inventory after close.”

“I could call Donna and try to order a pizza if it’ll make you feel better.”

Steven chuckled, “Afraid she’s ducked out early today.”

“That’s hypocritical.”

Steven hit a bit of a busy spurt in the gift shop; it was Friday, which meant that the kids in the after-school programs were extra rowdy. They needed to touch absolutely everything, but rarely had the pocket money to buy anything. So he spent a great deal of his afternoon fixing the displays, his phone still hastily stuffed in his pocket.

Meanwhile, you were deciding where to order pizza from. If Donna wasn’t in, you could afford to brighten Steven’s day a bit. Especially since you still had a sneaking suspicion that he was working late because of you.

He’d told you about JB’s negligence; you waltzed right through the lobby at quarter to seven with a pizza box in your hand and he didn’t even look up from his phone. Pausing at the entrance to the gift shop, you watched Steven for a second. He was typing something on his phone, only to shake his head and mutter something before deleting and typing again. He repeated this process twice before tucking his phone away and moments later, your own phone chimed in your pocket.

Steven’s head snapped up from the plushes he was sorting and you lifted the pizza box, “I really wanted to order that pizza.”

A slow smile spread over his face, “Are you having a laugh? You’ve actually brought pizza into the museum?”

You shrugged, “You told me JB wasn’t the best security guard.”

“Actually I said he was bloody awful, but you’re much sweeter than I am,” Steven chuckled. 

You set the box on the counter, “If we want to eat before I get busted with this, we’d better get going.” Noting his hesitation, you added, “It’s vegan cheese. Don't worry."

The corner of his mouth quirked up. He'd only mentioned it offhand, but of course you were listening. You always listened- you made him feel like the most interesting person in the world, even if no one else but you cared. He followed your lead, taking a slice of the still warm pie, “Thanks- for this. I’ll admit, I was having a bit of a shit day-” he caught himself, “Sorry-”

“Steven Grant, did you just curse?” The little bubble of laughter that left you was pure delight.

His face went hot, “Yeah, sorry, slipped out I guess.”

“No, I love it,” you grinned. “I wanna hear more Steven curses.”

“You want me to- curse?”

You nodded, laughing again, “Let them all loose- all the curse words you know, right now.”

“I don’t think it works that way,” he chuckled weakly, half-tempted to comply, if only to see the way your nose scrunched up when you laughed. “After all, you’ve gotta earn a true curse.”

“I suppose you’re right,” you conceded.

He smiled, tentatively checking his watch; he didn’t want you to go. He was about to invite you to stay while he did inventory- he could tuck you in the back until JB had done his walkthrough, but then he remembered that you were supposed to be busy tonight.

His brow furrowed, “Did your dinner plans fall through?”

He seemed so genuinely concerned, you crumbled immediately, “That was a bit of a fib actually,”

Watching his expression fall made your heart ache, “So you didn’t have dinner plans tonight?”

You chewed your lip, suddenly nervous, as you shook your head, “I thought maybe we shouldn’t get dinner- together, you know. It would’ve felt like a date and you made your position on that clear, so I-”

“Oi, what the- You can’t bring food in here!” JB had started his rounds early, likely eager to get out of work on a Friday night.  

You jumped whipping around, “Right, sorry about that. Wrong address.”

JB grabbed the pizza box from the counter and shoved it into your hands, giving you a firm push toward the exit, “We’re closing up anyway, get moving along.”

Steven felt a flash of anger that was unusual for him, “Hang on now, no need to be so rough.” And he wasn’t finished talking to you; what had you meant about his “position?”

“Stand back now, Scotty, let me do my job, yeah?” He pressed a hand to Steven’s chest and Steven felt the irrational urge to grab his fingers and twist. 

“You don’t need to touch her- she wasn’t hurting anything!” 

“Look mate, it’s Friday, I wanna get out of here, alright?”

Steven pulled JB’s hand from his chest, glaring at him as he dropped the closed sign down on the counter with a loud clatter, “What’s stopping you then? It’s closing time.”

 JB glanced off in the direction you’d gone, muttering something under his breath before moving on. 

Steven wanted to follow you- to chase after you and talk more, but he was on thin ice as it was. He’d been lucky to get his museum position back at all, after everything, and if JB was feeling cross with him, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he reported back to Donna. And he was always on thin ice with her. So he stayed where he was. But once he was sure JB was out of earshot, he pulled his phone out.

You hesitated a second before picking up; you were just out front. You’d needed to stop and take a moment to admonish yourself for blurting so much out; you’d been so swept up in doing something nice for Steven that you’d forgotten about the lie you’d told him. When he’d brought it up, you’d panicked.

“Hello.” You grimaced at the forced normalcy in your tone. 

“Are you alright, love? He shouldn’t’ve pushed you like that and I’ll be sure to have a word with-” there was a pause as he considered who’d he’d be chatting with, “-someone, about this on Monday.” You’d never heard Steven so riled before.

“I’m fine, Steven. No need to get all worked up, alright?” You were hoping- praying even, that Steven had only called to check on you. But that hope was short-lived.

“Yeah, you’re right, I know. I just-” he took a deep breath, “Right. I’m good- I’m aces. Very calm.” There was a pause, then he cleared his throat, “What did you mean, back in there?”

You played dumb, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you said you didn’t think we should get dinner because it would feel like a date.”

“Right, that,” you acknowledged.

“Then you said that I’d made my position on that clear. But the thing is, I don’t remember that. And sometimes I forget things, but I don’t think I’d forget that, you know?”

“Steven, we don’t have to-”

“If I said something, I want- no, I need to know what it was. Please tell me.”

“Right.” You sighed, “Last Saturday, you mentioned that you’d told me you were working because otherwise it would have seemed like it was a date.” 

“It wasn’t, was it?” To Steven, giving you a tour wasn’t a date. Not a proper one, like you deserved. But he did remember saying that and now that he recalled the memory, he remembered the way you’d faltered in the conversation. And you’d worn that dress.

And suddenly it all made sense. The long silence in your absence, the way you’d been reserved when you came back; he’d hurt you. And you’d still left him that lovely review. You’d still come to see him again. You’d brought him dinner at work just to toe the line he’d accidentally drawn in the sand. 

“No, of course not, you said so yourself,” you agreed quickly. “Sorry Steven, I’m getting on the bus, so I’ve got to go.”

“W-wait-”

“I’ll see you again soon, alright Steven?” And then you were gone. 

If he could have made it down the street to the bus stop before they pulled away, he would have made a run for it. But he heard the familiar hiss of the brakes just before you hung up, dropping his phone onto the counter and fisting his hair. 

“God, I’m such an idiot!” He raised his hand in a mock toast, “Cheers to Steven, the biggest knob on the whole bloody island.”

“Statistically, probably not the biggest.” 

Steven glared at his reflection in the mirror at the back of the counter, “Not helpful, Marc.”

“I wasn’t trying to be helpful.”

“Great. Thank you for that. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.” He began working on the inventory, but the real work was brainstorming how he could make this up to you. You deserved something special- something that would make it obvious how he felt about you. 

[beepboopeeboo]

Classmates | 5. Café

Heyy i’m back kinda 😀 i hope y’all are still interested in reading this smau 😭😭 I ended up making this chapter a bit long to make things up (or at least I think it’s long)🧍‍♀️

“You know it would be really funny if Haerin and her friends walked right into this cafe right now,” said Rinji.

“No it would not! How’d you even find out?” Y/n gave a confused look knowing damn well she didn’t make it obvious that she and Haerin exchanged numbers.

“Danielle told me”

“You guys still talk?” Haruna questioned.

“Of course we still do. You’re making it sound like we’re exes, she was literally my band’s vocalist.”

Y/n shrugged, “I mean technically she is since shes a ex-member.”

“Can ex-band members not be friends or something?”

“They can they can its just…I thought something bad happened which was why she left.”

“Oh, no she had to leave since she wanted to focus on college. We’re all cool though.”

“Good to know” Y/n receives a text message a few minutes after and checks to see who it was from.

It was Haerin

“WHAT!” Y/n was so taken aback that she stood up from her seat and was quickly sat back down by Haruna. The people in the cafe looked at her with a concerned look, while her two best friends awkwardly laugh and smile apologizing to the onlookers.

Haruna hits the lover girl on the arm

“Ow! What was that for?!” Y/n says loudly as she rubs her arm pouting. Earning even more glances from other customers.

Rinji leans in whispering to Y/n, “You fucking idiot did you forget that we’re in a public place,” she continues, “What got you so surprised that you suddenly stood up?”

Y/n shows the two girls her notification and their eyes widen.

“Answer back what are you doing?!?” Haruna says.

“What do you want me to say!”

“Just tell her “yeah hey its y/n” or something.”

Haruna looks over at Y/n’s phone, “That’s it?”

“What else- oh she replied back” Y/n looks at her phone again

“Does this girl want me dead. My GOODNESS.”

Rinji waves her hand in front of the enamored girl’s phone to get her attention, “Y/n? Earth to Y/n!”

“Huh? Wha?”

“Dude you’ve been staring at her picture for almost 5 minutes. Send her a contact photo back or else she’s gonna think you’re leaving her on read.”

“Oh shit. You’re right.” She quickly looks through her gallery for a picture to send back to Haerin which took like a minute or so to find, but Y/n eventually found one that she liked and sent it to her. “Aaaand sent.”

Haruna just shakes her head at the girl in disbelief. Her childhood best friend of however many years has had the same crush on this girl since sophomore year and they are now just interacting outside of school, but don’t get her wrong she is happy for her though. Rinji on the other hand is just glad that Y/n won’t be texting them about the tiniest interactions that she and her crush just had or when she sees her in the hall every time. However, something tells her that she’ll still be dealing with even more of Y/n’s crush related things.

“WHAT?!?”

“Oh yeah. I invited Eunchae too so she might end up bringing someone along with her. Hope that’s alright with you guys?”

“Yeah thats cool. I’m guessing it’s Kyujin or Haerin?”

“Was this Haruna’s plan to get me to interact with Haerin??!”

Not really. Haruna just wasn’t sure if her tennis bestie was bringing one of their teammates or another friend.

“To be honest she didn’t really specify who she was bringing but I guess we’ll have to see.” Haruna shrugged it off meanwhile Y/n is trying her best to stay calm. “Anyways, while we wait I want to know how orientation went for you guys today. Because mine went pretty well surprisingly.”

“Same here. I got some classes with a couple of people that I know.” Rinji replied.

“Honestly me too and it’s mostly because I have like 3 classes with Haerin this year.”

“Really?” The two girls say in unison.

“Yeahhhh. We looked over at each other’s schedules in which the times and classes matched for 3 of them. Then it resulted into us exchanging each other’s socials and numbers once we were in our 3rd class together.”

The two girls just looked at each other then at Y/n with a face. Before one of them could even say anything the bell from the cafe door rang and Haruna checked to see who it was from her seat. Coming in was Eunchae, Kyujin and Haerin. Y/n’s heart was beating a lot more faster and she became nervous once she saw a glimpse of her crush standing alongside her own two best friends and she immediately looks down at her phone pretending to be occupied.

“Okay i gotta stay calm and pretend I didn’t see her. I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t see her or her friends.”

The three girls walk over to where the other trio were sitting after ordering and thankfully the table near them was empty so they all would be able to interact with one another. They were also allowed to put their tables a little closer to each other, as long as they put them back to where they originally were, and so they did. Haerin sits down on a chair close to Y/n but not too close.

“Seriously Y/n a fucking thumbs up??”

Y/n looks up from her phone and tries to scoot over a little more towards Haerin, while trying her best to somehow not embarrass herself. Her heart continues to beat faster so she distracts herself by fiddling with her fingers and goes on her phone to scroll through instagram. Her being shy doesn’t help the fact that she wants to talk to her crush, however, she couldn’t really think of anything to talk about. Haerin is also pretty shy and quiet so she doesn’t really know what they should talk about either.

“Y/n Kim go get our drinks,” said Rinji.

“Damn, why are we suddenly using my full government name out loud,” Y/n says as she’s standing up.

Rinji rolled her eyes

“I’ll come with you too, Y/n. I think ours should be done soon,” said Haerin and gets up as well.

“Oh. Yeah okay.”

As they both head towards the counter together, Y/n tries to strike up a conversation.

“So did you end up having any other classes with your friends?”

“Oh uh I think I only have one class with Kyujin, but I still have the same homeroom as Eunchae,” her crush replied.

“Same. I only got one class with Haruna and another with Rinji. Oh wait we literally have AP Lit together with Haruna and Kyujin.”

Haerin lets out a chuckle, “You forgot your classmates already?”

“Possibly.”

They giggle to themselves and grabbed the cup carriers holding their drinks, then walked back to where they were all sitting.

The six girls continue on to talk about random things from one topic to another.

“We should all seriously hangout again together some time!” said Kyujin. “Before I forget, Y/n and Rinji, is it alright if you guys can give me your numbers?”

Eunchae pulls out her phone too, “Oh! Can you two give me yours too so I can make us a group chat?”

“Yeah definitely,” Rinji tells the girl her phone number and afterwards Y/n tells hers next.

“Cool, thank you guys!”

After exchanging numbers, they put the tables and chairs back to where they were before both groups parted their ways.

“I guess that wasn’t so bad”

[previous, next]

Taglist: @sofakingwoso @newhairnewjeans @fluffyji @wintersgff @linnnsworld @aprilsavagegirl @frankzz9 @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @pandafuriosa60

[sanriokamabodo]

college!bf douma

A/N: im struggling w writers block + had a heavy day so i decided to write smth i conjured up instead of a request!i will be back in business soon my sweets!heehee<3 if y'all want a part two feel free to ask djdjd

CW's: hes kinda sleazy in the beginning, reader sucks at math. suggestive themes>:) douma is goth in my college au bc i said so. the day i proofread is the day i die!

A psychology major with a minor in religious studies. Doesn't practice any religion himself but finds the subject interesting nevertheless.

Barely studies but somehow manages to pass with flying colours.

That one hookup you regret with all your might, let me elaborate;

Douma tutors math and it's no coincidence he slept with majority of the people he tutored.

No, you're not an exception. Cute try though!

Something about Douma's piercings, his choppy hair that he probably cut himself and his 'don't give a fuck' attitude managed to dissolve your IQ and last bit of self respect around him.

He knows how to give you just enough attention to keep you interested, but little enough for you to purposely screw up your math tests for an excuse to see him.

Yes, he mocked your intelligence by asking if rats ate your brain or whether you were just born this stupid, but the way he ruffled your hair as he fake-pouted at you made something bubble in your stomach.

It's no surprise you ended up with Douma in the men's restroom, a hand smacked tightly over your mouth that day.

You weren't allowed to ride the high of having hooked up with the hottest guy on campus for long.

Throughout the night you were bombarded with messages from your friends, all of them being about Douma. Why didn't you tell them? Was he good? ... Was he big?

You thought your heart was going to thump out of your chest. Sweaty hands refreshing the messages five, ten, twenty times.

This had to be a sick joke, right? Was this Douma's true nature?

About to throw your phone away in defeat, it vibrated once more. You didn't want to look but curiousity got the better of you.

[Douma, 11:06]: I think we need to talk.

Your chest thundered with anger at the message.

[Y/n, 11:07]: You think!?

[Douma, 11.07]: I know you don't owe me anything, but can we please meet somewhere?

[Y/n, 11.08]: I don't feel like showing my face today, thanks:)

We're you being dramatic? Maybe a little. But you were an introverted person. Being known by everyone on campus wasn't on your to-do list, and the reason why just made it that much worse.

[Douma, 11.08]: Text me your adress, I'm coming over.

[Y/n, 11.09]: No.

[Douma, 11.10]: Please, give me a chance to set things straight. I'll fix it, I promise.

You pondered for a moment. Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen? You texted him the address of your dorm and within an hour you heard a knock on your door.

Opening the door Douma stood on your doorstep, looking rather apologetic. You waved him inside, a thankful smile grazed his lips.

"I like what you did with the place."

"Shut up."

"Fair enough." He nodded.

"So..?"

"I did tell my friends we hooked up." He said, making you scoff. He threw his hands up defensively, before you could say anything.

"But! But! I didn't want them to tell everybody else..! They know I like you... a lot."

A small blush across up your cheeks at the sudden confession.

"You like me?"

Now you've done it, Douma started rambling.

"I get really fucking dumb about crushes. I wanted to text you all the time but I didn't want to come across as creepy. I thought we could just... hook up and I would forget about my stupid little crush and of course it just made me like you even more, because c'mon you're hot as fuck." He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose dramatically. "So what I'm trying to say here is that I would really like to make it up to you because I'm really fucking sorry and I would also really, really like to take you on a date and have a fresh start, please?" A shy smile painted his features.

You laughed. You were stupid if you were to deny him like this, especially considering you really liked him too.

"I'd love to go on a date with you."

[dirtyvirgotarot]

CHILL Messages, Chill Vibes Pick-An-Image Reading

A late-night Pick-A-Card, best enjoyed late at night, curled up in bed with your favorite drink and some jazz in the background. 😎 Or at least, that's how I would enjoy this one anyways, but that's definitely the vibe for this Pick-A-Card! I'll be using a regular ol' deck of playing cards for this one to match the theme! Minor Arcana only, folks. Some non-stress messages and advice for you to enjoy! Take in the aesthetic and pick your reading! I'll see ya there. ❤️😉 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 1 (The Roulette Wheel): Your Hand: King of Clubs (Wands), Queen of Hearts (Cups), and the 7 of Clubs (Wands), 9 of Clubs (Wands) as a clarifier. You and your best friend/lover are doing fucking AWESOME at overcoming challenges at the moment. It's you two vs. the world, and you both are slaying it, even if it doesn't feel like it! Your bond is only growing stronger by working together. I have a feeling you two are complimentary opposites, water and fire, black and red. You and your partner have found a complimentary balance that will serve you well going forward. You're being encouraged to keep leaning against one another, to keep supporting each other when the other is down. I even sense in some friendship cases a sense of hidden attraction. You or your friend may have a crush on the other, and are stubborn about admitting it to the other. This might be a sign that the time is right, for those of you. If this is in fact a relationship for you, I see the challenges you overcoming only spurring on sexual encounters. You find the other's strength so sexy. Damn baby, you did that. After all, when fire and water combine, they do create steam. 😉❤️💙♨️💪 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 2 (The Swirl): Your Hand: 9 of Diamonds (Pentacles), Jack of Hearts (Page of Cups), 8 of Clubs (Wands), 2 of Hearts (Cups), Queen of Clubs (Wands) Damn, today's your lucky day! Or at least, in the very near future, I see a windfall comin' your way. Money, babey! It may be that someone will tell you that you got a raise, or maybe your partner got a raise, or sudden influx of money. Someone around you is levelling up, and it's effecting you in a real good way! It'll be really unexpected, and happening soon! If you got a honey, I see a date to celebrate in your future! That Queen is a fiery one... I wouldn't be shocked if it was the Queen in this scenario that got the raise, whether it be you or your S/O. Maybe you're the kindly Page, and you're the one that lets the Queen know. Either way, it'll only serve to bring you two together more. If you're not in a relationship at the moment, not only are you getting this influx of money, but someone is coming your way! Look out for a feminine energy, black or red haired perhaps, and they are going to come in like a light in a dark room. Love at first sight, for some of you! They are mysterious and intimidating, yet loud and fun at the same time. For you, my dear Pile 2, I detect some serious summer lovin' coming your way, and the windfall of money to be able to live it up! 🪙💸💘😍💞 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 3 (The Poker Chips):

Your Hand: 10 of Clubs (Wands), 2 of Diamonds (Pentacles), 3 of Diamonds (Pentacles), Queen of Clubs (Wands), 8 of Hearts (Cups), Queen of Diamonds (Pentacles) as a clarifier to the 8 of Hearts. Help is on the way, Pile 3! If you're struggling with life, or wanting to move on from something like a large project or undertaking, someone is coming in to help you balance things out. Perhaps a new coworker, friend or partner! The teamwork is palpable, you both get along and work together flawlessly. Despite this, I feel that sexual intimacy will be temporary, if not just staying a friendly partnership. Romance would go pretty south, as I get the feeling that this person isn't the greatest when it comes to relationships morally, or might be toxic in that area and a relationship would be unhealthy. If you're already in an unhealthy relationship with someone, and your history sounds similar to what I've explained, it is a safe time to move on from them! Still, I get the feeling that for the most part, this person's gonna get you out of a pinch or love you when you're lonely, or already has, and ease/d some troubles you've been having so you can move on to a better job or better person, and a better, more healthy you! 🤝⛓️🐦🪙🏃☀️ ~~~~~~~~ Pile 4 (The Boulevard):

Your Hand: 8 of Spades (Swords), King of Diamonds (Pentacles), Ace of Hearts (Cups), 9 of Hearts (Cups), 10 of Hearts (Cups) You may feel trapped or lonely right now, Pile 4.. But if you can believe it, the one who you love most loves you right back! A nurturing, stoic yet kind energy, someone who has always been there, always been your rock, perhaps masculine in energy. He is going to extend his hand and offer his heart to you. This is your person, Pile 4. If you simply take off the blindfold, if you let them take away your bindings and dry your tears, if you let them know that you see them and their feelings, and that it's mutual, and grasp the full cup they offer to you back, I see your soulmate in this person, the person you will marry!! You've found them, Pile 4. Call their name! 🗣️😭🙏🤍💞🫂💍 ~~~~~~~~ General Afterthoughts and Notes for All Piles: 😳😳😳 Gosh, you guys.. Love is in the air!! Then again, it is the middle of June.. Every single pile had something to do with love, whether physical or emotional in some form!! Lots of Clubs, Wands, fire! The theme really ended up matching the messages! Whew! 💦 Red is your lucky color right now. Wear lots of it. 😉 I hope these readings resonated, and I wish you the best in luck AND love, guys!! If you want more, check out my Tumblr, and my Youtube page for more in-depth readings!! If it REALLY hit different for ya, here's the link to my Ko-Fi! You would be supporting a disabled, queer reader! Stay tuned for more fun readings!!! :D Have a beautiful day! -DV💜💚

[sourbinnie]

title -> alight genre -> angst turned into fluff pair -> jisung x gn!reader plot -> crushing on someone is easy (but anxiety and jealousy don't think so) warnings -> cursing + one mention of anxiety words -> 1421 lowercase intended

i'm so obsessed, i go to bed i get undressed i lie in bed, look at the ceiling and i find you in my head yet again, i wash my hair, i tell myself that i don't care about the girls you find appealing or what's under what you wear.

alight / ninajirachi

thoughts running a marathon in my head as i get home from minho(e)'s party. my glitter still hangin' and my mascara is intact but i still feel a heavy weight on my heart as i start to take it off completely. how pathetic can one be? to see the boy you like for so long, talking to another guy/girl and feeling that immediate weight on your shoulders, those bad thoughts crawling back and that heavy heart that won't be fixed with nothing but a confession. minho(e) is gonna kill me for leaving but i did not care, i needed to be alone in my room with my anxiety & emotions like a tsunami in me.

i knew i wasn't the perfect candidate but i always had hope we would be something more. when i first got introduced to him, i fell so hard, it hit me like a wave and i just had to be friends with him at least. now movin' on two years later and i'm still hanging on a crush (that's clearly not a crush anymore) and on a friendship (that i wanted it to be more) and all of my friends saying "you should just tell him!" (ehem, minhoe, ehem) but it's not that easy isn't it?. as i looked at myself once again in the mirror i realized that i was nothing like the guys/girls he used to have a crush on and i have so many flaws. this is where chan comes in and tells me "everyone has flaws" but if i hear that speech one more time, i might kick his ass back to australia. 

i wasn't crying this time, just staring at the ceiling and waiting for the messages of "where are u" to pop up. first one from minho(e) obviously, then binnie, then chan and lastly jisung. god he didn't even know how much a message from him turns my world around and my attention just draws back to him. but then i remember that pretty guy/girl he was chatting with, their long hair, their flirting...

yeah i was screwed wasn't i?

sung<3

fuck why did you leave

you know i can't do these kinds of things alone

that was at 1:38 am and the second message was true, i was just like him. parties were never my cup of tea but i dealt with them mostly fine if i had my friends by my side, today wasn't one of those days. as much as i tried to get as pretty as i could to impress (myself & someone), all of them seemed to have better business and that was probably getting a hook up to go home to. i was never the hook up kind so i was just left all alone as i observed the other people in the house. but as soon as it hit 1:00 am, i decided that it would be better to head home. kind of dangerous to just walk to my home in the middle of the night but my heart felt so heavy as i tried not to picture jisung kissing another person.

sung<3

can i come over?

i rlly wanted to talk to u

oh god, my worst nightmare was about to come true. i will have the impulse to confess and this night is gonna end more terribly than it already has. i debated whether i should pretend i was sick but i could never do that, they always see right through me so i just responded "sure" and tried to dress presentable. if i knew i was seeing him again i wouldn't have taken off my makeup but barefaced it is. it didn't take him too long since i wasn't that far from minho(e)'s house and i left the door opened. there he was in all of his glory with his beautiful squishy cheeks and his hair getting blonder day by day. i'm not drunk, just hopelessly in love with an idiot. which reminds me, why is he here? why isn't he with that guy/girl i saw him earlier? oh god if i ruined his chances of getting laid he will kill me.

"(y/n) hi." ok this is odd, he never calls me by full name but i'm gonna play along.

"han jisung what do i owe you the pleasure to?" i ask as i look at him from the living room. i didn't even bother to move since he opened the door himself and i was just too fucking broken over stupid shit to care anymore. "thought you would stay longer at the party."

"i got bored without you there." he said and i could tell he was being honest, his eyes never lie as he moved next to me and sat down on the couch. "i thought you would stay longer too but you didn't even tell anyone you were going."

yeah that was a bad move on me, one message would've been enough but when you get so fucking lost in sadness, you don't really care do you?

"i know, i'm sorry about that." i pouted and he just shook his head as he gave me that little smile of his. god i was so head over heels for this idiot and i don't know how much longer i'm gonna last with these feelings until i burst. "you shouldn't have left though."

"why not?" he asked and i could feel his hand on my thigh as he looked at me puzzled. i immediately blushed at the sensation and just didn't know what to say but i found a way to send my words out.

"i just thought you were having fun like chan, minho(e) and bin." i said and i wasn't wrong to think that. he walked in with the person and stayed with them most of the night. god what if it was his significant other? and i was just being an asshole? panicking is the only thing i know how to do. 

"me? not at all, just spent the whole night trying to think how to approach you and failing." ok that was also weird, why would he need to think how to talk to me? we've been friends for 2 years. "i'm sorry i didn't, i'm just a coward at the end of the day."

"what do you mean? you're not sung and definitely don't need to think of ways of approaching me, we're friends right?" i ask and he sighs, i felt like i said the wrong words immediately. i want to get inside his head just to see what he's thinking so much about, i wanna know what he's feeling and what he's saying, especially since i seem to not be getting anything at all.

"that's the problem, god how the fuck do i say this? i'm the worst with words." well that's also a lie since he's the best freestyle rapper i know (don't tell bin) and somehow he's more nervous than i am about this situation. i felt more calm in his presence which is something he always tend to drive me to. i love talking to him because it feels easy and like nothing's gonna bother me anymore when i'm with him. "can i do something? you can punch me in the face later but please just once".

"you can do anything sungie and i wouldn't punch you ever." i said and his trembling hand found it's way to my cheek, caressing it softly. i felt like i could melt right then and there as he just closed his eyes and i did the same, feeling a pair of my lips fitting right in with mine, it wasn't the perfect kiss but it was definitely more than perfection to me. it didn't get heated and it wasn't just a peck but it was so beautiful that i had to make it last. that's when all the doubts went away and i truly felt like i was floating. 

as we split away, i could only feel my hand on my lips as i looked at him and he just smiled again. his full on smile made me blush crimson red as i tried to hide from him but he just took my hands away from my face and whispered softly.

"i am so in love with you since i first met you".

i felt everything come into place just with those words as i responded.

"i've been dying to hear that since i first saw you."

[billpottsismygf]

Okay, rewatch complete and my feelings are just so *mixed*. When I was halfway through, I wrote this whole thing about the weak plot and bad pacing, but having watched episodes 4-6 in one sitting today, I’m now feeling much better about it. In fact, the emotions of the last scene were even more hard hitting this time, and I no longer have as much of a character issue with Aziraphale’s decision as I did my first time through.

To get my bad thoughts, all written yesterday, out of the way:

The plot is so weak and the pacing is all over the place. What is series 2 about? Crowley and Aziraphale take in an angel who has lost his memory, they successfully hide him for a few episodes while trying to set up two shopkeepers, then we find out what was going on. The End. Series 1 works because we get all this amazing character stuff for Aziraphale and Crowley on top of an engaging romp about the end of the world, with a huge cast of characters and lots of moving parts that all come together at the end for a satisfying finale.

I found episode 3 a particular slog, which is a shame because I do actually like the Georgian setting of the flashbacks, but it gets very flimsy very quickly. I just don't believe Elspeth's sudden desire to kill herself (with an apparent sudden change of heart re: bodysnatching, since she says she doesn't want anyone digging her up), then another sudden turnaround once she's been given the money. I liked the general message they were going for wrt poverty and Aziraphale's ignorance of how the world really works, but it just doesn't quite work for me.

I also don’t buy into Nina and Maggie at all. If it was established that they knew each other a little already, then it might work, but Maggie’s deep investment in Nina liking her just reads as either overbearing or unbelievable. They’ve clearly never spoken about anything other than coffee before, and Maggie has a crush fair enough, but after one somewhat awkward evening locked in a shop, she’s crying and declaring herself in love. I like both of the actresses, but I’m not sure they completely sold it either. (I feel bad pointing out particular instances, but when Maggie’s “crying” when Aziraphale goes to ask about the song, she doesn’t even believably read as upset, let alone crying.)

There's also just the, fanfic-ness of it all, especially with Gabriel and Beelzebub. I've always seen that pairing as a bit of a crack one, though I'm glad there are people who enjoy it, and for it to become canon like that... Maybe if they were still bitches at the end? But the mushy lovey dovey 'wherever [they are] is my heaven/hell' stuff just doesn't read as in character for either of them. It's like they switch into totally different characters at the relationship reveal (though on the rewatch, I did appreciate knowing why Beelzebub was so keen on finding Gabriel).

Really the main things this series has going for it is, firstly, that it is often pretty funny, and, secondly, the chemistry between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, on top of their individually brilliant performances. I am deeply invested in their relationship at this point, as well as the wider implications for Heaven and Hell, but if I weren’t I don’t know that I would be all that excited for series 3. 

I do think series 3 will be better, as this was always described as the series that got us to where series 3 needed to start from, but this is so obviously a filler that it’s hard to see why it was made in the first place. I imagine we needed that break up scene at the end to lead into the final series, but I wonder if that couldn’t have been achieved with a special, or honestly if we couldn’t have just found out what happened through flashbacks within series 3 itself.

Now, onto the good, written today:

The second half of the series is actually much more enjoyable. I adore the entire conceit of having a Regency ball, and it works so well alongside the gathering menace of the swarming demons. I also love the entirety of the 1941 flashback, even if it doesn’t have much to do with the main plot - sidenote, but the thing of calling the flashbacks ‘minisodes’ is very odd given that they often take up the vast majority of their respective episodes.

Now that I was expecting the Gabriel and Beelzebub stuff, it wasn't quite as jarring as the first time. I stand by what I said above about the out of character-ness, though.

The Nina and Maggie of episodes 4-6 are also much more believable, because they're actually talking. They're taking part in the main plot, too, and they get to have agency at the end and tell Crowley off for trying to manipulate their love lives.

As said above, this time the entire final scene between Aziraphale and Crowley packed an even bigger punch. I loved it the first time round, though of course I found it devastating, but this time knowing where it was leading, it hit me all the more. It’s a real showcase of both Michael Sheen and David Tennant’s acting chops, as well as the complex relationship between their characters.

Derek Jacobi, master that he is, is of course completely fantastic as the Metatron. I wonder if he’ll have a bigger role in series 3 (if we get it). I really hope so; I’m always delighted to see more of him. Muriel is so adorable as well, and I find the rivalry between Uriel and Michael so enjoyable.

This series is such a mixed bag and I just cannot settle on a consistent opinion. I think perhaps it would have fared better with either a more complex plot, or fewer episodes. I’ll probably do another rewatch soon, but on a much slower episode-by-episode basis.

[crushed-starlight]

welcome back to me stealing ideas from @about-the-two-of-us !!

todays episode: i might turn this into a more general digital diary about my social life, rather than focusing so much on crushes. ysee this is what happens when i have to spend a whole half-day without meadow lmao

anyway !! here’s updates :D

meadow went away for the weekend to visit a friend :(( so we couldn't hang out BUT before their train we still went to class together and made jokes about the place they’re visiting and they left their snacks in my bag so i got to see them briefly again to give them back right before they left n we hugged goodbye at the place we first hung out aaaa

that was last weekend, n since then a ton of wild lore has happened !! its been literally 4 days how is any of this real.

monday evening jiji and odie hung out in my dorm and watched some youtube videos from a channel that odie and i rly like that we're trying to introduce jiji to !! those two r always so kind to me im rly glad i have them as friends rn. otherwise the stuff w meadow would be way more taxing i think

tuesday evening i went over to meadow's place after class !! i played a game they introduced me to (they like backseat gaming for this one hehe) and he gave me tons of tips on how to get a good build n i ended up getting further than i ever have before on my last run of the evening !!

and on wednesday (yesterday) meadow and i went on a mini shopping trip after class, then went back to their dorm again for a mini movie marathon !! we got through the first 2 hunger games movies since i hadn't seen them before and meadow is hype to watch the new one that just came out. i rly enjoyed them !! not my favorites ever but i can totally see what the hype is about. and for bonus points, one of my 2 best friends from before uni ,, we'll call them fish (new character alert !!) watched them too super recently so i can talk to them abt it !! fish is the coolest and im gonna be around them more this winter since i'm goin back to their town for a while :D but fr meadow and i watched the first 2 movies in his bed under the covers :,D not quite cuddling bc im a COWARD but squished up next to each other sharing snacks :3 thats still a win in my book !!

aaaaaaaaaaand then came earlier today >< i had a class with goose which was fun but she dipped after that to go study and i walked home alone. when i got back meadow started messaging me that someone they met on their weekend away (a friend of a friend) was messaging them n theyre DOWN BAD. they were GUSHING TO ME AND ITWAS TORTURE i am in actual hell !!!!!!!! turns out hearing ur crush gush about their crush ,, kinda hurts your soul in a way that you feel !! the conversation ended but now im thinkin i should rly confess soon just to save myself the trouble ;; idk how long its healthy to stay in friendship limbo like this.

[beesflowers]

𝒟𝑒𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓉𝒽 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎 𝒱𝑜𝒾𝒸𝑒-𝐿𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈

Characters: Derreth

Type: OC description

Hello

Welcome dear and mighty Traveler! I heard of your achievements and of how many people you saved! So… what do you say for small deal, huh?

Chat: Counting

1, 2, 3... huh... I made only 3 thousands mora today... ehh... not much clients...

Chat: Game

Its' boring here... Wanna play a game? No? Oh...

Chat: Song

♪ I love Mora~ And Mora loves me~ Mora comes- ♪ No wait... that's not how it went... Oh well, who cares?! ♪ Lalalalala ♪

When It Rains

Wait... Did I closed my stand?! Oh let's hope I did...

When Thunder Strikes

Watch out. It can be dangerous during this time and I don't sell any medications.

When the Wind Is Blowing

Ahh, I love wind like that~ What? It's not often when you get cold wind where I come from!

Good Morning

Good morning! Eat something and begin new day! I'll go on stand a bit later... surely I can enjoy my meal!

Good Afternoon

Good afternoon there! Would you like some Zaytun Peaches? I'll give you 25% off since you're such a great companion!

Good Evening

Good evening! Are you done with your quests? If so, how about we go on a walk? It may be good to take your mind off things from time to time!

Good Night

Good nigh! I don't know about you but I'm definitely going to sleep! I don't want to be a zombie tomorrow after all...

About Derreth: Wondering

I often wonder how Dori is doing... I really hope she's having a good childhood... maybe I should visit her someday? No, others might recognize me...

About Derreth: Best School

Did you know that I attended to one of those "fancy schools" back in elementary school? Well it's actually horrible! You meet kids that are spoiled, teachers that see you as money and they have strict teaching system! Good for me I knew how to cheat... I passed that whole school and all exams with flying colors!

About Us: Travelers

So you say you come from different world? Well I just think we may not be so different after all... you got here by force and I had no other choice that to escape my region... Oh well, let's not think about it! Let's go somewhere else, okey? This place seems to take out too much memories from me.

About Us: Friends

After how much we've been through, I think I can safely call you my friend. This comes with many benefits! We can help each other with our problems and if you catch me on good mood, I may even give you small treat for free~ Don't get used though!

About Vision

I got my vision when I was escaping from Sumeru. It would've been more useful before it but... I won't complain. But Pyro Archon does have... interesting taste it seems. I'm a little scared to go to Natlan region now!

Something to Share

Okey, let me tell you BIG secret! Did you knew I had a husband? Hehe~ Yeah, I really did! But it wasn't that great... that's why I'm kinda holding back with marriage now. Heizou seems to understand tho!

About Dori

Oh Dori! How's she doing? Can you tell we're sisters? Yeah, unfortunely we had to part away... you won't mind if I use you to deliver few messages, right?

About Heizou

Oh? Heizou? Haha! Let me tell you a secret! But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone else! Especially Heizou! Okey so... after we started dating, he started wearing shoes that make him look higher~ It's kinda cute if you look at it...

About Sean (@vodka-glrl OC)

He's great! He could be less grumpy sometimes but I guess it's only accurate looking at what he've been through... Not gonna tell you that! But did you know that he has crush on Yo- actullly no, wait... if I tell you he might ACTUALLY tell Heizou that one secret of mine... let me remain silent then...

About Arataki Itto

He's really nice guy! But the place where we met was… a jail… not great start of friendhip but hey! We're friends now!

About Kuki Shinobu

She's great!! She always helps Itto when he gets into jail and since I'm Mr. Detectives girlfriend, I can help out a lot~ I also suggest that if you ever get into jail, you can count on both of us!

About Kujou Sara

This little… Agh! Can I not do what I'm passionate in Inazuma anymore!? Honestly she needs to mind her own things!

About Yae Miko

She's amazing! We often flirt with each other for fun and some people think it's for real! I can't tell you how many times Heizou told me that he was informed that I'm cheating on him with Yae...

About Yoimiya

She's great! She's always so lively and cheerful! Honestly, if you look for someone to entertain you and I'm unavaible, she's the best option!

About Sayu

I honestly would love to sleep all day... I know she has work as ninja but just being sleep for one whole day would be perfect for me! As nice is it seems, I doubt I could stay in bed for so long...

About Sangonomiya Kokomi

I only know a little about her from Ry- Sean! She seems like very nice lady to me! It's a shame she had to go through all this... How about you tho? Did you met her yourself? If so can you tell me a bit about her as well?

More About Derreth: I

You know, Yoimiya isn't the only want you can go to when you want to escape from Inazuma! I admit, she's great but if she's busy, you can always come to me! I may or may not have some experience~

More About Derreth: II

I'm honestly really glad that I'm all healthy now! It's really a curse to lay in hospital bed through a long time... afte a week, I can guarantee that you'll get bored to death! I hope my sickness won't come back after all those years...

More About Derreth: III

You wonder how it's possible that I had a husband when I'm just 18? Well you see... there's something like forced marriage that exists... usually when both families have some benefits and they force their children to be married. Not fun... but it's important that I'm not stuck anymore! I like my freedom very much you see!

More About Derreth: IV

When I escaped Sumeru, I left my good friend there... I honestly hope he's doing alright now... life also wasn't good on him... Oh well, I believe he's a responsible guy so I'm sure he'll be just great!

More About Derreth: V

I'm sometimes not sure about Heizou... I know he loves me but I'm not a saint. I don't just mean the more... illegal trades I do. I mean my past... Sometimes we have no choice... or I was dumb and stupid... well I don't like going back to it. How about we change the topic?

Derreth's Hobbies

Now I like to go around different dark places in Inazuma and hide there. It's rather peacful, especially that one cave in Inazuma. I will take you there one day! It's really pretty there~

Derreth's Troubles

I'm kinda not used to heat anymore, as much as I was before traveling to Inazuma. I feel like even if I wanted, it would be hard for me to deal in Sumeru. Sure I can skip walks around deset... eh... I will think of it.

Favorite Food

I absolutely love Tulumba! They may be a bit unhealthy because of the amount of oil they need but it's really great! I even managed to make it a bit healthy just so I can eat it every day! I'll give you a nice treat if you'll deserve it~

Least Favorite Food

I dislike dishes that have nothing but meat. Don't get me wrong! I like eating meat but not when it's alone. I need something alongside...

Receiving Gift: I

For me?! Oh you didn't had to~ Well show me!

Receiving Gift: II

Aoooh~ I see you understood my taste~

Receiving Gift: III`Receiving Gift: III

You're so generous today! Don't mind if I take it~

Birthday

Hey there Traveler! Happy Birthday to you! Hehe~ Don't think I forgot! I prepared day full of surprises for you~ Follow me! I'll show you our first stop! And you can also find your first gift there~

Feelings About Ascension: Intro

Huh... that's a nice gift, I'll tik it! Thank you!

Feelings About Ascension: Building Up

Oh so it wasn't just one time gift... I'm a bit interested to see how far will you go...

Feelings About Ascension: Climax

Oh! I feel so much better now! Well, well, keep going and I might reward you~

Feelings About Ascension: Conclusion

Traveler wins!! Hehe~ alrigth, I told you I will reward you so I did! You can choose anything from my stand for free! And I don't mean my fruit stand! You know which one I mean~ But it's not all! I wanted to thank you. At first I wasn't sure if you're just using me but now... I see that you're my true friend. Thank you for that.

[daydreamgoddess14]

First Impressions - Chapter 3

MASTERLIST

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Summary:

More flirting, more fluff :)

Thank you so much anyone who's read, commented or added kudos. It's so much appreciated. I think I've read every single bit of JL content I can get my hands on this week, my crush is going nowhere! I'm also so wildly out of practice with writing so thank you for persevering!

************

Despite three pairs of socks, a rapidly cooling hot water bottle and a fleece blanket, Lexie was cold. She’d spent the previous day somewhere between hungover and on cloud nine but her good mood had tumbled along with the temperature. It was coming up to 1am and there was still at least 4 hours to go before the changeover in shift. She dug the radio out of her pocket to check in with Andy.

“Fancy a perimeter walk, And? I think I’ve still got some tangfastics if you’re interested?”

“Yeah the walk might warm me up a bit. I’ll swap ya for some malteasers.”

“Got any tea left?”

“No bab, sorry, long gone.” Lexie tutted,

“Should have brought bigger flasks.”

“Maybe next time.”

“I’m not bloody doing this again Andy. Not until August at least. Come on, get your arse out the car, see you in a few minutes.” Lexie rolled her shoulders and blew into her hands to try and get warm. She started the walk of the perimeter they’d set at dusk and headed toward their designated meeting spot. She heard Andy before she saw him. So much for covert. She handed over the sugar covered contraband and they exchanged a quick high five as they passed each other “Don’t forget to lock your car.” He muttered. Once she got back to the car, she could see an object on the hood of her car. She frowned and looked around frantically. She’d only been gone 15 minutes… approaching carefully, she saw steam rising from a travel mug, and a small paper bag nestled next to her windscreen wipers. She peeked in the bag to see a chocolate brownie. “Ooh. Sophie Clarke you’re good to me.” She grabbed the goods and jumped back in the car, locking the door behind her. She reached for her phone to check for messages, but there wasn’t a new one from Sophie. It was River.

“Told you it’s cold. Hopefully this will keep you going for a bit longer.”

Lexie looked around in the dark, trying to see if he was still around. The cup was still piping hot and she hadn’t seen another car.

“Have you gone again? I must have just missed you. Went to deliver haribo to Andy”

“Back in my warm bed already. I’m not lurking out there like a creeper!”

“Shame. I’d have made you swap with me. No one will ever know. Please, please don’t 

mention warm beds.” Please don’t mention your warm bed Lexie added mentally. She knew where she’d much rather be right now.

“Height difference might give it away. You’re also a lot cuter.”

“You’re sleep deprived. Thank you for the chocolate, you’re a hero.”

“Be safe, speak to you in a few hours. X”

The kiss at the end was new. Lexie let the short conversation warm her from head to toe and settled in for the final stint of her shift. By the time she’d debriefed her replacement and had a quick ten minutes with Andy, it was nearly 5am. Lexie was dead on her feet. She blasted the heat through her 

car and Lizzo through her speakers, the heat making her tired but the music keeping her attention. She parked up across the street from the flat and piled her arms high with her cold hot water bottle, blanket and rubbish. The front door opened without her having to juggle everything and she looked 

to Sophie gratefully.

“Thanks babe, fuckin’ cold. So tired, why the hell are you up already? I didn’t know you were on shift today?”

“Kettle’s on,” Sophie’s voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, “he’s here!” Lexie’s eyes widened.

“What?!” she mouthed “I’m a fucking mess! I look like a fucking vampire!”

“Go and dump your stuff and get another hoodie on. I’ll make tea.” Sophie said loudly, giving Lexie time enough to try and make herself somewhat presentable. She dashed to her bedroom without looking to the kitchen. Her room wasn’t a mess. Good start. Not that that mattered, it wasn’t like she was about to invite him in. But she needed to tidy herself up a bit. Pulling off her cold jeans and jumper, she swapped out for a cozy loungewear jumpsuit and dragged a brush through her hair. She checked the mirror. Not too bad, a bit pale, but it was 5am after all.

“Good morning night owl.” River smiled as she made it to the kitchen after a couple of minutes. Sophie nodded her approval at the outfit change.

“Morning, I see you’ve met Soph?”

“I have. I met Jess too before she left for work.”

“Aww my Jessy. That’s why you’re up early.” Lexie turned to Sophie.

“I’m not far behind her actually, just long enough to check in with you and meet River.”

“How wonderful for you both to meet without me here to supervise.” Lexie arched an eyebrow at Sophie. She cackled into her tea.

“Don’t worry, I only told him your top three deep dark secrets. Nothing too drastic.”

“Oh good, that’s fine then.” Lexie grinned.

“I was hoping for top five but I guess I’ll have to hear the rest from you Lex?” River nudged her.

“Guess you will. While I have your attention Doctor Clarke, are you and Jess working on Friday night, I was going to cook?” Sophie looked at the calendar on her phone.

“I’m on til 3pm, Jess finishes at midday so that sounds good. It’s your birthday though Lex, you can’t cook on your birthday?”

“Bugger I forgot. I can, I don’t mind. Besides, I don’t trust either of you two to cook for me. I trust you to save my life afterwards, but I’m not eating anything you pass off as food.”

“Harsh. True though.” Sophie nodded in agreement. “River, you’ll come too won’t you?” Lexie coughed into her cup of tea.

“Only if I’m invited, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Of course you won’t be,” Lexie recovered. “I was about to invite you, before Sophie stuck her nose in.”

“Again with the rudeness. You need to sleep my darling. I’m away to work, see you…. in a few days? I’ll text you later.” Sophie hugged Lexie and kissed her cheek. “Night night. Lovely to meet you River, see you next week.” She gave a little wave and slammed the front door behind her. Lexie responded with a huge yawn.

“Come on, get to bed. All nighters don’t suit you.” River chuckled as he put her cup in the dishwasher. He followed her down the short corridor. So much for not inviting him to her room.

“Where you going Cartwright?” she asked with another yawn.

“Just trying to make sure you don’t fall asleep halfway between the kitchen and bathroom.” He murmured behind her. He pulled back the blankets on her bed and went to close her curtains. She snuggled into the bed.

“Come and say hi.” Lexie requested, her voice thick with sleep.

“Only for a minute, I’m going to work and you’re going to sleep.” He lay next to her.

“I am. I am so tired. Remind me to never volunteer for a night shift again. Do you cook?”

“I do, I’m not too bad actually.”

“Ooh, you can prove it on Friday.” Lexie nudged herself a bit closer, still feeling the cold from her night in the car.

“Happily. Is it really your birthday?”

“On the Saturday it is, but Sophie and Jess are working.”

“That’s when I’ll take you out then.”

“Hmm.” Lexie sighed and tucked her head into his shoulder. A couple of deep breaths later and River knew she was asleep. She was as close to him as the blankets would allow and he felt his eyes get heavy, giving in to the sleep he’d struggled with while knowing she was working all night.

*********

River had slipped out of her room at around 8am. Lexie was still sleeping soundly and he hadn’t wanted to wake her. He’d pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and left a text on her phone to wake up to. He muddled through the morning at Slough House, keeping his head down and not allowing himself to get wound up by Jackson’s merciless teasing or Shirley’s not so discreet round of 20 questions.

“Why you so happy lately?” she perched on the corner of his desk.

“I’m no happier or unhappier than usual.”

“Liar. Have you had a shag?”

“Shirley, go away.”

“No. That’s not it, not yet anyway. Had a date?”

“Shirley, go away.”

“Nope, still too grumpy so it’s not a date.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” River asked defensively.

“Well you’re hardly Mr Happy. A shag would definitely put you in a good mood. A date probably would as well. But you’re not quite there yet are you?” She exaggerated stroking an imaginary beard as she thought aloud. River was about to counteract with, “I am Mr Happy” but then realised how absurd (and untrue) it was and shrugged instead.

“I’m not unhappy.”

“No, you’re not. So something is different, but it falls somewhere between ‘nothing at all has happened’ and ‘your world has been turned upside down’. I’m just trying to figure out where.”

“Everything is fine, Shirley.”

“I know that dickhead. I’m not all concerned like, I’m nosey that’s all. Besides, I’ve got a bet with Roddy on when you’ll finally get laid.” She hopped down from the desk and pinched his ear to force him to face her.

“Oww! Let go, that hurts!”

“Don’t be a baby. I intend to win my bet, River. Don’t let me down!” River was left rubbing his ear when his phone buzzed a path across his desk.

“It was nice seeing you this morning. You shouldn’t have though - you must be exhausted.”

“I’m fine. Just wanted to make sure you got back ok. Did you get much sleep?”

“Never enough. Just heading to the station if you need coffee?”

River was on his feet and pulling his coat on before he’d even fully read the message. “Going to get a coffee.” He shouted through the building to no one in particular. He ignored the requests for various lunch items and drinks and slammed the door on his way out.

Lexie was sitting in his usual window seat spot already. She had more colour to her cheeks and didn’t look anywhere near as tired as when he’d last seen her. The cafe was busy but she’d made a very clear stake on the seat next to her. She also had two large coffees and two pieces of cake in front of her.

“Bloody good job you’re here. I so nearly ate your cake.” She grinned.

“I’d probably have forgiven you. You ok?” He placed a hand on her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her cheek. She flushed pink.

“No, don’t tempt me. I’m trying to be good. I say trying - not particularly hard. And by trying it’s more like only having one piece of cake rather than two.”

“I’d say that counts as trying. It looks great.”

“Right?! I’d never let this place down by giving up their cake. I’m doing my bit for the economy.”

“Exactly. Businesses need all the support they can get. You’re truly doing them a service.” River agreed sagely, Lexie’s smile reached her eyes.

“I’m sorry if you think Sophie dragged you to dinner next week - please don’t feel like you’ve got to come.”

“Not at all, if you’d like me to be there then I’d love to? Plus, I think I’d make an excellent sous chef.”

“I’m sure you would.” He turned to face her fully so she put her feet up onto the footrest of his stool, he let his hands drop to rest on her knees, finding the edge of the carefully designed rip in her jeans. “What's on your menu?” she asked. She blushed at the sudden closeness and intimacy, distracting herself with filling the silence. He leaned further forward conspiratorially,

“Depends, what’s your favourite?” his eyes dropped to her mouth, then back to her eyes before kissing her gently. Lexie sighed and felt her entire body relax. It was different to the excited, rushed kiss on her doorstep previously, when they’d both been a bundle of nerves - even in spite of the alcohol. Now they were both totally sober and yet Lexie felt the calmest she’d been in a long time.

He tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned back in his seat, a smug smirk starting across his mouth.

**********

The next week and a half flew by with a couple of coffee meets in between work, and near constant messages exchanged. With River’s input, Lexie had planned the menu for her birthday meal and by mid-afternoon, after making some noise to Catherine about ‘going to do some research’ and escaping Slough House early, he was on her doorstep with flowers. Lexie flung open the door with flour in her hair and floury handprints on her yoga leggings.

“Ohh, they’re beautiful! Thank you!” She took the flowers and turned back to the kitchen, “Come in, sorry - I look like crap, it looks like I’ve been having a scrap in the Mr Kipling factory!” River felt all of the oxygen leave his body as he watched her dash back down the hallway. He composed himself enough to make it to the kitchen where she’d put the kettle on, and was at the sink sorting out the flowers. He looped an arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder where, unsurprisingly, there was more flour. She shivered in his arms and turned to kiss him properly.

“Hi.” he whispered, letting his hands travel down to match the handprints on her tight leggings. “These are going to be a problem if you’re going to continue wearing them.” Lexie blushed furiously.

“I don’t wear them in public. I was supposed to get changed before you arrived but…I had a slight problem.” She gestured to the situation further along the kitchen worktop. A cake mixer, and much of the surface was covered in various ingredients.

“If it’s any consolation, I am so, so pleased you didn’t have time.” he murmured against her lips. Running his hands over the curves accentuated by the fabric.

“Oh really? Well. That’s good to know.” Lexie sighed, all attempts at conversation suddenly abandoned. Being pressed against the kitchen counter by River was overwhelming in the best possible way and she gasped slightly as his hands brushed the waistband of her leggings before reaching up her back and bringing her even closer to him.

“Oh shit. Sorry guys!” A loud voice interrupted and River sprang away from Lexie.

“Sorry Jess.” Lexie cleared her throat and took a second to get her breath back. “Umm… this is River.”

“I know love, we’ve met.” Jess waved in River’s direction and smirked at Lexie. “Forgot I was here?”

“No. Yes. Shut up if you want dinner tonight. Let’s not mention the number of times I’ve had to sneak past you and Soph shall we?”

“I mean, at least we manage to find a sofa. Actually, it might be good that you guys didn’t. Well I’m just popping out for a bit. Won’t be long, but I’ll be long enough.” She said with an exaggerated wink.

“Jessy! You’re as bad as Sophie. Piss off, dinner is at 7.” Jess wiggled her eyebrows at Lexie and left making far more noise than she had previously. Lexie turned back to the kettle while River surveyed the damage surrounding the cake mixer. “The settings play up so it goes like a rocket when you least expect it. I’d just chucked half a bag of flour in there and now I look like Casper the bloody ghost.”

River said nothing but picked up where Lexie had obviously left off and started wiping the surfaces. 

By the time Jess had returned with Sophie, the kitchen was spotless, Lexie was changed and far less floury (to River’s very vocal dismay) and they were cooking side by side. Lexie swayed gently to the music, her hip bumping River every now and then as she sang along.

“Look at him looking at her!” Sophie whispered to Jess

“So cute. She must know.”

“You know Lexie. For a detective, she’s astoundingly obtuse.”

“But he’s so into her! For a spy, he’s very direct.”

“He’s doing it on purpose, look-” Sophie pointed as River let his hand trail across the small of Lexie’s back as he passed behind her to reach a knife from the block.

“I know you’re there, you two. Make yourselves useful and get the wine out.” River called out.

“Just observing what a lovely team you make. Smells good in here.” Jess went for the glasses, while Sophie fetched the wine.

Dinner was a blur of wine and laughter, Lexie was both impressed and encouraged by just how well River fit in with her closest friends. While Sophie and Jess cleared up, Lexie leaned into River, standing between his knees while he sat at the breakfast bar. She turned in his arms and brushed a hand through his hair. His eyes noticeably darkened and she leaned to whisper in his ear, emboldened by the wine.

“Would you like to stay tonight?” She felt his smile against her ear, and his fingertips at the hem of her dress.

“Only if you’d like me to.” He replied firmly. She sighed happily against him and nodded.

“Right,” Sophie threw down the dishcloth, “I’m done. I’m going to bed, work calls tomorrow. You lovely pair have fun. And happy birthday to you my darling. I love ya.” She blew Lexie a kiss, and turned off the overhead light as she and Jess left, leaving Lexie and River alone in the near darkness.

“Busy day tomorrow.” He said, punctuating the sentence with a kiss.

“Is it?”

“Your birthday, and I’m taking you out, remember?”

“Where are we going?”

“Secret. Big secret.”

“Such a spy. Did you know I’m a detective? I can make you tell me.”

“Bet you can’t.”

“Bet I can.” Their faces were so close, their breath shared.

“Do you want me to tell you?” he asked before kissing her. She shook her head and pulled away from him slightly.

“No River, I want you to take me to bed.”

*******************

Chapter 4

[gurugirl]

i’ve been meaning to give a mini update but haven’t really got the time so i’m just gonna bulk it up here. yasss if you don’t mind

BASICALLY!

you got mini promo in my critical thinking lecture bc we were learning about Buddhist philosophy and my professor was like yeah these stories usually have a ✨guru ✨ and i was like OMG I KNOW HA! so yeah that whole week you were living rent free in my mind like woah!

and then i started talking to this person, not talking in like a omg this has the potential to be something more bc now that i think about it… i think i might be aromantic or something or it could just be that i have some like unresolved deep rooted subconscious trauma i need to work through to feel comfortable being vulnerable around someone… let alone a MAN ugh. anyways yeah the thing is when i told my roomies that this person may be idk have the intentions of being more than friends i got this feeling my roommate might have feelings for this person so i was like woah i need to back tf off. like to me if they did have feelings i would’ve used it as a way to get my virginity over and done with like GET HER OUT OF HERE! but now i’m setting up that boundary and i tell my roommate like girl you need to do something about this crush and she’s like no no you texted first and i was like GIRL I DONT LIKE THEM! but yeah i’ve hung out with them like twice and yeah im not feeling it at all, call me fucked up but they’re just too nice, it’s like they’re beating around the bush with me and prioritizing my feelings like hello? that’s not how i work, i’m so indecisive don’t put every decision we make on me yk? and they’re also very feminine which i feel really bad about saying bc they’re non-binary/ gender fluid but i tend to be attracted to more masculine/dominant energy (hence why i love your shit hello? 😋)

this is my finals week too and i just had my first final for chemistry and i just know that shit was bad like tell me why i guessed on 3/4 of that exam 😭 and then after i was done i turned on my phone to see messages from my study group saying they’re outside the building to celebrate… EXCUSE ME?! CELEBRATE WHAT EXACTLY?! i flopped. f for fail? more like f for FLOP! but yeah i have a bio exam tmrw and im not feeling it! like whyyyyyy! this is what i get for being a stem major like-

also! i read your new story and OH MY GOD! i love how harry like kinda knew she was reluctant bc of him so he like took the time to play with her a bit! AND I LOVE HOW YOURE BROADENING YOUR WRITING CATALOGUE! like ugh i love your creative growth, going from stories where y/n is submissive to somewhat dominant (stepmom) and then from having a third party being submissive (angel from profrry) to them being a potential dominant figure it’s so exciting! i love how you’re dipping your toes in different writing ponds UGH! i’m so excited to see what’s to come!

Ahh oh my gosh, babe! Love the update and I'm so flattered you were thinking of me during your critical thinking lecture 🤭😇

And I love that you're in stem! I'm so impressed 😍 Love that! Good luck this week to you! I finished my last final today (early) so I'm done until Spring semester starts 🎉

As for this person you've been talking to, yeah it really just sounds like you're not into them, which is fine. If you're not feeling it then that's okay. There has to be some attraction and connection and you just don't have it. They're probably better off just being your friend.

Thank you so much for saying all that about my writing! I really like trying new things so I'm happy you appreciate it 🥰

xoxo

[luvjoshuahong]

next door surprise - yjh

☆ featuring: next door neighbor!jeonghan x fem!reader ☆ tags: fluff. no kissing or anything just a cute birthday surprise and jeonghans confession ☆ wc: 674 ☆ a/n: happy birthday to @tangylemonade ! this fanfic is in response to this request you sent for your birthday<3 also not proofread at all and a little bad since im sick so i struggled writing this

your birthday is soon.

you always celebrate your birthday with your 3 close friends but this time they’re all traveling somewhere. not having any close family either, you decided to not celebrate at all.

drowning yourself in your school work for the weeks before your birthday seemed like a better idea. you often met your neighbor jeonghan in the library and you ended up telling him about your plans.

you and jeonghan had became good friends over time. as you live right next door to him, you both would go to school together.

you were outside one day looking around for something to eat when you got a message from jeonghan

han💫 hi ^^ sorry for the short notice but do you think i could stay in your guest room for a week? i had a pipe leak in my apartment and they said they need a week to fix it :(

y/n ☆ sure! i’ll clean it up when i get home and you can stay starting from tonight<3

han💫 thank you!!! you’re a life saver <3

as soon as you got home, you cleaned up your guest room and freshened up the guest bathroom. by the time you were finished, jeonghan knocked on your door with an overnight bag.

“thank you so much, i can’t explain how grateful i am that you let me stay”, jeonghan expressed as soon has he walked in.

“anytime! i never mind helping out my favorite neighbor”, you tell jeonghan while laughing and leading him to his room.

jeonghan sets his bags down and you leave letting him settle in. you show jeonghan around your kitchen and tell him he can stock up on food he likes. you also let jeonghan know you might not be home much for a few weeks since you’re caught up with your studies but he can keep a spare key so he can let himself in and out anytime.

the week goes by in a blur and you hadn’t thought that jeonghan would do anything for your birthday even though he was staying in your house. the night before your birthday you had gotten home just before midnight as you took a long walk to freshen your mind. when you got inside the house was dark so you assumed jeonghan had already went to sleep. you walked into your kitchen to take some leftovers when suddenly jeonghan switches on the lights.

“surprise!” jeonghan and joshua scream with a cake and gifts in their hands.

“joshua?! when did you get here and where had all this come from!” you knew joshua since he was jeonghans best friend and you shared a class with him. you were shocked to see that jeonghan and joshua prepared all this for you.

“jeonghan spoke about how you were spending your birthday alone so he came up with a plan to surprise you! i told him i would help with the gifts and decoration since i thought it was sweet he was doing this for you”, joshua said while you looked at everything in awe.

all 3 of you spent a good time until joshua had to go home since it was getting pretty late and jeonghan had decided he would go home that night.

“thank you, jeonghan. i appreciate everything you did for me today”, you expressed to jeonghan as he was packing his things.

“anything for you, y/n. you’re a dear friend to me and i didn’t want you to spend a day like this alone”, jeonghan said with a soft look in his eyes

you walked jeonghan to his door to show your gratitude when he suddenly started speaking, “maybe one day, we should have dinner together. i really enjoyed tonight and hope to spend more time together”, jeonghan said sincerely.

you told jeonghan you would clear your schedule for the weekend and you were looking forward for your date. when you get to bed, you’re thankful jeonghan asked you out as your secret crush on him could now lead to something more.

☆ end notes: this is not well written i'm so sorry </3 i was sick when i wrote this so it's not too good but happy birthday to lemon! also thank you to my soojin for giving me the idea for the fic since i have a crazy obsession with neighbor/roomie han

masterlist | taglist | rules | carrd | help palestine

[rantbunyey]

Hello, been over 8 years.

I know the landscape of Tumblr has changed wildly, and yet I find myself here again. I've tried my hand at other blogs, but there's still something familiar and comfortable here. While this place might not be the best for blogging nowadays, well... who is going to care or even see?

I originally made this blog page because it was my place to rant. Away from my other page where I reposted memes and shitposted. So, I'm back for some more of that. I did draft out another post talking about the difficulties that I've had over the past decade. Things have been up and down, and down again, but that's nothing I haven't talked about before. Still working on myself and surprisingly still finding myself growing and changing in certain ways, even if things around me don't change so much. So I thought... why not take a different approach today, and talk about something that's been on my mind that actually makes me happy. Allow me to talk about her.

Who is her? Who is she?

She is someone who I've known for probably 4 years now, but still makes my heart flutter when I hear her voice. I've had a few relationships here and there over the years. Nothing that got very far in progression, but I've dated. Still, what is it about her that warrants its own happy post? Well, she's not exactly someone I'm in a romantic relationship with. I suppose you can just say that she's someone that I have a massive crush on.

She is a friend. I've always been a bit hesitant to talk about it, because I'm afraid of putting my feelings into words sometimes. She's someone who I've become friends with over the past few years. For the past 2 years or so, we've exchanged at least one message nearly every day, even if it's just a meme or two. Still, she's been one of the constants in my life as of late, and that's due to no small effort on my part. Regardless of the circumstances, she is a friend that I chose. Not a friend that I just happened to sit near in class, not someone I happen to be near due to work or commute... she's someone I chose to get to know.

She is someone that I've had feelings for well over a year now. Last year I drew a Valentine's day card, and this year I gave her chocolates. Perhaps I'm overstepping since we're not in a relationship, but sometimes I wonder if I didn't convey my feelings well, short of just spilling my guts and word vomiting like I've done in the past. I worry about these things. Given the circumstances of our friendship, I have to question whether it's okay for me to feel this way. Given our dynamic, is it okay to feel this way? Even if it's fine for me to have these feelings, is it okay for me to tell her how I feel? I think that my behavior over the past few years have indicated that I'm interested... like... there's no way that she doesn't know, right? And yet, I'm afraid to ask. The thing is...

She doesn't live near me. This is a long distance friendship. Between work schedules and different time zones, I've made an effort to talk to her as much as I can, but it's still tough sometimes. We've... never actually met in person yet. It's... a little embarrassing to admit honestly, but spending time talking to her is one of the things I look forward to most every day. It's one of the things that when I'm down about life, about myself, hearing her voice can always bring a smile to my face. So we've never met face to face, but we will soon.

She recently sent me a gift pack and a letter as a surprise, and my dumb ass was grinning ear to ear as I grabbed the package from the mailroom. I almost tripped over a dozen things trying to get into my apartment to open it. The letter was just a friendly letter of appreciation, but like I mentioned earlier... feeling seen is one of the things that I wanted most. So yes, I was still smiling like an idiot reading every word slowly. A faint scent of her perfume on the letter - my heart was beating out of my fucking chest and I had to reread each sentence 2-3 times before I could make any sense of it through the deafening sound of my heartbeat. Am I the dumb one here? Does this mean anything? I know there's a lot of uncertainty. One thing that I'm sure of in this moment is how much I care about this person, and how much I want to be there for this person, and have fun times and memories together. But... one thing at a time. I'm going to see her soon.

All I know is that right now, I'm looking forward to seeing a good friend that happen to have admired for a while now. I'm excited, but also so so nervous and anxious.

So, who is she? Someone who is very important to me.

And to end on a gushy note...

Say you want me with you here, beside you Anywhere you go, let me go too That's all I ask of you

I'm out.

[kaiseeee0]

i've had an idea today, that why not make a poem for each of the guys i've liked before and here it is, i admit it came out too good even i am amazed.

To all the boys I’ve liked, here’s a little message — a collection of words that linger in my mind like a vestige. Hoping it finds your ears or your thoughtful mind, May this message, like a spell, leave you astound. In rhymes of the heart, emotions intricately entwined.

let me start with my number one, a default crush i’ve had since i was young. someone i consider a friend, a confidant and one who’s presence left me sprung. Eight years, a time too long, I’ve looked at you from afar, learning new things for start, All I could is stand aside and cheer for your every achievement, playing my part as an audience standing from afar.

Three boys all in one year, no I didn’t cheat, it’s more like courting where avoidance it led. The first, younger by a year it was fun ; yet fun didn’t last long, and emotions were shed. Second is a one-sided ‘crush,’ where I confessed anonymously and kept it hushed. Lastly, a friend so true and genuine, yet it turned sour; and emotions were blushed.

this one led me to tears, a boy i’ve felt comfortable with after years  touches felt sincere, never once did my stomach turn and there was no fear i got a attached. though religion clashed leading to my tears; and a question remained unanswered: ‘If you knew it would break your rules, then why did you continue?’”

2 years after that i found one where i grew fond of, a boy in the same class loud and always leaving me baffled, our little jokes turned to something true a relationship started that surprised a few, and exchanges of ‘i love you’s ending it like how it started, so sudden that all i could do was ask ‘what was i to you?’

3 months later a boy came to view, i thought my heart was fixed, could trust once more. yet i was wrong, it didn’t last a month fear struck my cord i distanced without remorse; it left me full of guilt, i was a coward afraid to repeat the same tragic tale. where i was left crying; thus i turned my back and left a simple goodbye on my bidding

another year passed and as if god played a trick, i think an angel decent an angel with a sinful mouth, always cursing leaving me astound once more it was a one sided throes, where i made letters and poems making my admiration known, rejection is what i hope for yet there was nothing and it left me hollow. 

i don’t know how, nor why my attention shifted from the angel, to this guy, an acquaintance for years, a friend of an ex was stirred. he came to view confessed and i was pursued, yet twist came to me my stomach churned a touch is all it took, to leave me shaken and in tears, and thus once more i turned my back and left, leaving a simple explanation yet it didn’t seem to get through?.

Young love was fun, they say, yet I think it only left me in dismay.  The only fun I felt was for those unrequited feelings the default crush I’ve always had and got me returning. Too early it might be, or maybe I just need to wait and see. Patience, perhaps, will reveal the love meant for me

Maybe I was in so much rush that everything just doesn’t seem to fit. Maybe I rushed too much, it left me thinking, maybe love wasn’t where I sit. In the haste, I overlooked the signs, now I’m left with fragments of heartbreak, questioning if it’s too late to rewind time.