#i get the comment karma but consider: i literally have nothing to say about most other posts

[darlinimamess]

reasons why reddit frustrates me: for many subs, in order to post, you have to have a certain amount of karma. in order to get karma you have to post.

[tpher]

scary girl analysis !

something something the most clearly gimmicky gen 4 character we know. as your resident pahkitew island apologist, i dont care. it actually took me a bit to warm up to her and i figured id talk abt why that is

so her main thing is being creepy and sadistic for the sake of jokes. its not serious.. mostly. she does prove to actually be down to hurt others (such as when she got a hold of a jackhammer). but what about an instance where she wanted to hurt someone for actual reasons? when was that?

that was when priya went up to her to compliment her on doing a good job on the previous challenge. priya says that shes surprised by scary girl having done a good job.

scary girls response?

a very defensive "oh, it surprised you that i was good? cuz you thought id do bad?"

and thats the thesis of this post

scary girl is very insecure

backing up for a moment, in ep 2 when the teams were on ships and attacking each other, she was the one who came up with the idea of sinking the other teams ship as an idea on what to do when they were out of ammo (? iirc). but no one else heard that, just zee

then in ep 3, ripper makes her go last in the relay race thing bc he didnt want her to "blow things" for the team. she reacts by trying to bite his finger. not with a funny creepy smile, but with genuine anger to her literal bite. and then during that challenge, she infamously grabs a bear by the arm and starts beating it up while saying "thats what you get for growling at me!!!". once shes done, she goes "byeee" and goes on like nothing happened. proving that if someone wrongs her, she can easily let it go.. so long as she gets to do something back. remember this for later

and here we come back to her interaction with priya. so far, scary girl has proven herself to be a pretty alright player and she herself knows that. so the notion of someone being SURPRISED she did well?? does not sit well with her at all. but the way that she harps on the wording, even before zee steps in to make it worse, is what gets to me. it just really adds an extra layer to her character that, well. ironically surprised me! for someone who always seems to be in her own world, so unconventional, so ill-fitting with everyone else to also be insecure in some capacity?

anyway she tries to hurt priya with a spoon but gets interrupted. later on, priya is still thinking abt their encounter and feels bad so she tries to make it up to scary girl by flattering her. namely by saying that scary girls question was smart.. and priya being her awkward self, only dug herself in a hole by making it seem like that was a smart question by scary girls standards

scary girl is speechless. baffled. mad beyond words

it should be noted that scary girl looked offended when priya even started speaking. meaning that she also did not forget about their conversation that morning. she REALLY took it to heart. applying the bear logic here, had scary girl hurt her with the spoon earlier, would she be less mad? would she had considered each other even? and in that case, would this comment go over better or would it had simply restarted her need for revenge?

well. they dont interact for the rest of the episode up until the very end. after ripper used priya as a human shield, obviously injuring her

scary girl tells her that rippers a jerk and that priya didnt deserve that. so she'll be voting to get ripper out. and calls priya her "friend".

(her face and tone makes me a bit suspicious if this was genuine. but thats probably just her being her offputting self so i'll ignore it.) ok so by scary girl logic, priya deserved to have SOMETHING bad coming her way after what she said to her.

but not this.

scary girl, who came here to "make friends and watch them get really hurt", was not okay with what ripper did to priya. perhaps she thinks that only she could be allowed to hurt priya to balance things out? personally giving priya her karma, perhaps?

but now she considers priya a "friend". who likely wants to see her get hurt. but in the fun way that scary girl likely sees most other contestants as, possibly? idk.

anyway after all of that, we can see just how insecure scary girl can get over unintentionally awkward phrasing. just how deeply it hurts her feelings to be underestimated like that

season 2 spoilers ahead !!!

in season 2, we see even less of her. but there is SO much to work with

normal girl is so fascinating to me

by the time s2 starts, scary girl already has an all new look. shes trying to be "normal"

she admits in her confessional that some ppl thought she was too scary in the first season so thats why she changed her appearance and her everything. who were these ppl?

other than a dog as a joke, online forums, showing an interesting glimpse into the in-universe ""real world"" stepping into total drama. perhaps also a meta joke on the fandoms response to her but who knows. imagine unabashedly being yourself on tv and everyone is telling you to change. you are 16 and likely going through a weird phase. feeling a lot of heightened emotions already and ""knowing"" that this is who you are (at the moment). and if its not a phase? still 16 on international television getting lambasted by millions

and last but not least, her MOM??? her own mother. that just raises more questions abt how scary girl was before getting on td. was she NOT like this before? was she playing it up for the cameras? or did she just go unhinged without parental supervision? in any case the fact is that even her own mom wasnt okay with what makes her happy and how she presented herself.

so scary girls solution? to try her best to suppress anything that made her unique. to try to adhere to "societal norms", in her own words.

we dont see much of her in this ep other than her commenting on how shes normal and totally did not want to see someone get hurt. shes clearly struggling so bad. she knows that apparently what she likes isnt "right", therefore the opposite must be true, right?

she is simultaneously so immediately different that the others didnt even recognize her at first. yet still so "scary" that she cant fit in. she just doesnt know how no matter how hard she tries. if she were to stay longer, what can she do? this game is not only abt your skills in the challenges its also a social thing. how long until she snapped and went back to her old ways?

and then we get to the campfire ceremony. chef is about to call out whatever it was the she did wrong that day, but she interrupts him with a simple "no."

she cannot fathom being sent home, at least not this early. bc shes normal! she is sooo normal and she tried SO HARD to be normal! she read normal books and normal movies and studied normal people. she even taught herself to smile in a more acceptable way, which is so autistic coded to me. so she deserves to stay longer.

(getting flashbacks to my topher psychoanalysis and his entitlement being both a tragedy and his self-imposed downfall)

..but she studied "normal people" in her own not-normal way. while they werent looking. while they were sleeping. while they had no idea she was there.

so she got booted out for that. and she cannot believe it.

when she says that she "didnt even try to hurt anyone this time", she is mad. that was her ""fun"" and she managed to control it 100% only to get eliminated??? shes fed up!

but when she talks about how she taught herself how to smile in a "less-creepy" way?

she softens up and looks genuinely hurt.

she tried so hard. she saw all those horrible comments from people judging her based on like 5 episodes on a reality show. her own mother didnt accept her. her insecurity won and she aimed to change and repress everything that made her unique

and it still wasnt enough

[thisisthinprivilege]

My experience with the thin privilege roller coaster

I've struggled with my weight since I was about thirteen years old. I'm now twenty-five, and I have been on both sides of the spectrum. I've experienced both thin privilege and fat discrimination. At my heaviest I wore a size 16-18 and weighed about 200 pounds at 5' 6" tall. I realize that isn't incredibly heavy and I still had more privilege than many people, but I was still what many people consider "fat." I couldn't shop at the same stores as my friends. American Eagle jeans? Out of the question. Better go to Old Navy and check out their "vanity sized" clothing. I could have shopped in "plus sized" sections, or even stores, but I was too embarrassed. I couldn't bring myself to even look at them.

I couldn't get a date to save my life, despite the fact that, over the years, there were several people I was interested in. But they always went for the thinner girls. I remember my dad telling me, "You know, you'd be really pretty if you'd just lose weight. I bet you'd get a boyfriend then."

When I was about twenty, something in my life changed. I transferred schools and was incredibly busy with my homework while also working 25-30 hours a week. I didn't have time for snacks and honestly, I didn't even think about eating most of the time. I was quite unhealthy, often only taking in about 800 calories a day. This continued for months until I weighed 145 pounds. 

And suddenly I was in a completely different world. People held doors open for me. They smiled. If I wore a skirt or shorts, I'd hear crude comments from men, and even the occasional cat call (this is not a good thing and I would never, EVER advocate men treating women like this; I'm simply commenting on the fact that it happened.) My size 8 jeans fit perfectly. I was far more outgoing and confident. I started going on dates and making friends with people who I thought wouldn't have even given my 200 pound self the time of day. I went to the beach for the first time in years. In all honesty... I was happy.

How sad is that? How pathetic is it that losing 55 pounds - in a very unhealthy way - just makes the world open up to you? Instead of people whispering about my weight, they were whispering to ME about OTHER PEOPLE'S weight. And the most sickening part of it all? I laughed along with them. I was happy to finally be included. 

Be it karma, a change in my schedule, or just settling back into old habits, I gained most of my weight back a few years later. Suddenly doors started closing on me. There were less smiles and more shoulder bumps from people who either didn't care or didn't notice me. Men stopped asking me out, and I was even turned down for a teaching job in Japan because of my weight.

Very few "overweight" people are able to say they wouldn't be happier if they were thinner. I'm not saying this to advocate thinspo - quite the opposite, actually. It's the fact that we live in a world that tells us thin people are harder working, more attractive, more intelligent... I'm sure I could expand this list for paragraphs. In many cases, thin people are more likely to be happy because doors (both literally and figuratively) open up for you when you're thin. My self-esteem plummeted when I gained back weight. It wasn't because I was a different person. I didn't magically become lazy or ugly or unintelligent. But the world believed I was, and so I believed I was.

I did lose weight again because I decided to take up running. BOOM - the privilege was back. But this time I aware of it. I remembered that fat me and thin me were the same person. Thin me is not smarter. Thin me is not more charming. The only difference between thin me and fat me is that, in the past, thin me could be incredibly cruel. But thin me will never discriminate against someone for being overweight again, because pounds mean nothing. They do not change who a person is, only the way the world perceives them. 

Although I have learned a lot from gaining and losing weight several times, I wish that this experience had taught me to be immune to wanting thin privilege. I wish that I could eat a bacon cheeseburger and not feel regret for days afterward. I gained some weight back over the winter because I stopped running, and now that the weather's broken all I can think about is wanting that thin privilege back. I keep telling myself "you need to lose ten pounds if you want to wear shorts this summer."

If you're considered "overweight" and you're comfortable wearing shorts, I think you're an absolutely amazing person for saying "screw you" to a world that tells you you shouldn't wear shorts. Because you should wear whatever you want to wear, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

For me, personally, I need to feel thin to allow myself to wear shorts. I care so much about what other people think, and I hate that about myself. So what do I do? I cut calories and push myself too hard at the gym. All because I want more thin privilege than I currently have. Because I want that single digit jeans size back. Because I like when people hold doors open for me, strike up conversations with me, and invite me to parties. How sad is it that to feel like a proper human being I have to feel thin?

[curiouskurona]

 ( for context , this was originally a comment on this post but i tend to be long winded / i could tell it was gonna get long so i decided to just maek my own post bsdjhgfkjdhgja . also abuse discussion tw for tha following + tha post i linked to , as well as spoilers for Princess Tutu )  

 ive made my peace with rue and fakir-- well , not 100% completely absolutely , but ive come a long long way from where i was when i first watched tha show , where i hated fakir SO much , and i had more sympathy for rue but wasn't fond of her either . in fact , where before i was adamant that i hated fakir , i can say i actually liek him now . didnt think i would ever get to this point lol . and i liek rue as well , though her turn around came easier for me          

 i feel like i would have warmed up to them a lot faster if liek . they got ANY consequences for their actions . im not talking about either of them being sad / having other troubles , im not talking about cosmic punishment / karma , i mean direct consequences for the way that they treated mytho . ive heard people argue that " well mytho doesnt have feelings so it doesnt matter how they treated him " , but that argument falls flat fast when you point to tha fact that they both KNEW mytho was getting his feelings back , and they did absolutely nothing to change their behavior . hell , they might have even treated him worse , because of the stress of tha situation or whatever . fakir pushed mytho's face against the mirror and said " look at this repulsive face thats regained the feeling of loneliness " . rue backed away unsettled when she saw mytho smile . there is no argument of " well he didn't feel anything " or " well they didn't realize " . they knew what they were doing   

 and they kind of just ... get away with it . they dont really have to acknowledge the way that they treated him past an almost throwaway line from fakir in the end where hes liek " damn i was kinda mean huh "         

 i would probably be moar forgiving about it if they got ANY sort of consequences ( narratively or through fandom perception ) for their actions , but most ppl dont really care enough about mytho for that . and seeing his situation be largely ignored made me defensive and bitter towards them [ fakir and rue ] . as a trauma survivor myself ( who heavily relates to mytho ) it was a really high hurdle for me to look at them , fakir especially , in a positive light , regardless of whether or not i could recognize their own traumas / understand why they did som of tha things they did .  

  and yeah ppl change n whatever . wounds can heal , relationships can be mended . but fakir never even tried to mend theirs . mytho never got any closure or an apology or anything and it just sucks so much . i mean yeah he got to tell fakir off as r!mytho during that one battle . but most of him being all * evil laughter * at fakir wasnt even him , you can see he doesnt even consider himself that person when hes staggering back to his dorm clutching his heart going “ what are you , who are you , whats goin on ” . mytho got to be a lil scoundrel to fakir as r!mytho but thats not tha saem as any meaningful acknowledgement / apology on fakir’s part      

 and im just . idk . im hesitant to put this in any tags , i dont think i will . bc i know ppl love fakir . but liek . please . can we at least acknowledge what he did . or are we going to keep pretending that his worst offense is being abrasive / grumpy . im sorry to have to tell you this but fakir’s ( and rue’s * ) behaviour towards mytho is literal actual textbook abuse . they isolate him , control him , berate him , lock him up , get in his face and yell at him , manhandle him , tell him who he can talk to , tell him what he can read , tell him that he has to listen to them and no one else . liek . hello . i know you dont want to hear this about ur fave characters but theyre abusers . its not even subtext its just THE text    

 the fact that fakir grows softer after meeting ahiru is irrelevant . him treating ahiru better as the series goes on does not mean that he is treating mytho better as the series goes on . him softening up and growing into a better person is not equal to an apology or any kind of closure or comfort for mytho  

 and dont even get me started on how mytho and rue should not have ended up together . no piece of media is perfect , i do have some things is disliek about PT , and one of them is definitely the ending unfortunately . but thats another post . and its purrobably not even for tha reasons you might think i have    

 also , this is not to say that i think fakir or rue are evil , or that they dont care / never cared about mytho . i dont think its as black and white as that . fakir and rue arent such one dimensional characters , silhouettes laughing evilly to themselves as they take joy in hurting him . i dont think that the fact that fakir abused mytho means he was never worried about him or didnt care about him . i dont think tha fact that rue abused mytho means that she never cared about him either . its messy . they were all put into a very straining situation . ive talked in other posts acknowledging the strain fakir was under , and ive talked at length with friends about why rue felt the need to act the way she did , too . but that doesnt make what they did okay . and i just wish that mytho got any sort of apology , closure , or comfort . instead of everyone going “ well glad thats over !! lets move on with our lives while pretending we all [ sans ahiru ] didnt just abuse mytho this entire show “       

 anyways this post isnt very organized and i purrobably didnt maek any sense . i was just rambling i guess . this is something that ive thought about a lot    

 * if youve noticed im leaning harder into fakir rn , its purrobably bc ppl are moar willing to acknowledge rue’s behaviour . shes loved as an evil gal girlboss or whatevar , even if its often joaky ppl are moare ready to go “ yeah lol rue was so fucked up “ , and have made a lot of serious fanart about the toxicity of her relationship with mytho too . but for tha moast part ppl shy away from putting fakir in any serious negative light . aside from a few posts ive seen ( that were a breath of fresh air honestly ) that talked about his actions , moast ppl portray fakir as someone whos grumpy and abrasive , kind of a jerk , maybe even a “ tsundere “ , but ultimately harmless . so i guess im harder on fakir for that . because im frustrated that ppl only care about shipping him with ahiru , and are more than ready to downplay how horrible he was to mytho so that they can pretend its all sunshine and rainbows with him or something . again it goes back to them receiving no direct consequences for their actions , narratively OR through fandom perception . rue is at least acknowledged as someone that doesnt have a totally great track record , in tha fandom                   

[aceredshirt13]

In (Partial) Defense of Godot

Let’s talk about Diego Armando. Love him or hate him, he evokes a lot of strong opinions within the Ace Attorney fandom. Certainly, he is a flawed character, and certainly, he has done some things that aren’t what anyone would call great. But what I have difficulty understanding is the degree of near-universal vitriol he seems to receive at the hands of the fanbase, especially when it can often seem hypocritical as compared to other characters. So today, we’re here to talk about it - the main criticism that gets thrown around any time his character is discussed. Is Godot sexist? For the most part, I’m gonna say no, and explain why.

I see people cite his frustration and self-loathing with not being able to protect Mia as representative of him thinking women can’t protect themselves - extending this to his desire to protect Maya. But… are you implying his feelings about this would change if Mia and Maya were men?? I sincerely doubt that. He loved Mia, that much is obvious, and people hating themselves for not being able to protect people they care about, even when there’s no way they could have known what would happen to them, is a BIG trope in this series. Simon blamed himself for not being able to protect Metis, right? I highly doubt it was because she was a woman - he had nothing but the deepest respect for her. Badd blamed himself for not being able to protect Byrne. Adrian blamed herself for not being able to help Celeste. And look at Raymond - he beat himself up for seventeen years at least for not being able to protect Gregory! This is a trope that knows no gender - anyone who loses someone they care about feels helpless, and wishes they could have done something, anything, to stop it. As for Maya, she’s the younger sister of Diego’s dead girlfriend! Of course he’s going to want to protect her - in a better world, she would have been his younger sister, too! I don’t think that if Maya was a guy, he would have just been like “eh, he can take care of himself” and not gotten involved.

I also see people say his anger at Phoenix for not being able to protect her reflects his misogyny - that is to say, blaming a man for not being able to protect a woman. But let’s think about this for a bit. Mia had deliberately cut herself off from nearly everyone because she was worried about their safety as she looked into the Redd White case. Besides her mentee, the only people we have any proof she interacted with in the series at all were Diego, who was in a coma, Grossberg, whose office she’d left, Maya, who was A. in Kurain most of the time and B. literally seventeen years old, and Lana, who at the time was ghosting everyone because she was under Gant’s influence and didn’t want anyone to get hurt. (To people saying Lana was still in contact with Mia during that time, considering Lana wasn’t even in contact with her own sister, I highly doubt that was the case.) Phoenix was quite literally the only person Mia interacted with on a significant basis - so if Diego was going to do his unhealthy self-loathing projection onto someone, there was no one else it could be.

Next, we get to the messiest part - the conversation that is most-often cited as being incontrovertible proof that Godot hates women: his case 5 altercation with Franziska von Karma. Before I make any comments, let’s read the whole exchange.

Godot: I had something slightly more important than a common cold to deal with. The importance of which is something you have no hope of ever understanding.

von Karma: Enough! I believe I have the measure of you. You are the very worst kind of prosecutor. What could be more important than a trial?

Godot: ... Who's the wild mare, Trite?

Phoenix: This is Ms. von Karma. She was the acting prosecutor in your absence today.

Godot: Ha...! Well, I guess I owe you one then. But you can go now, princess. It's time for the big boys to take the reins.

von Karma: Just who do you think you are!? This case is my…

Godot: Hey, Filly. Know your role, and shut your mouth. I can't stand women like you. I'm only going to say this once, Lady von Whippingberg. Go home!

von Karma: ... Phoeeenix Wriiight!

Phoenix: Wh-What are you hitting me for!?

Godot: Ha...! You deserve more cracks of the whip than that, Trite.

Phoenix: Wh-What!?

Godot: You still don't get it, do you? You don't realize that you've set something in motion that you'll never be able to undo.

Phoenix: (There's something different about Godot today... I'm getting such a strong sense of... something from behind that mask of his. Is it anger? Or... Is it... sorrow?)

But let’s take a look at these, too. The “know your role” line, which is the one most described as proof of a “stay in the kitchen” sentiment in regard to women by the fandom, is actually one of AA’s many pop cultural references - it’s a direct quote from the wrestler persona of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. While he did very occasionally say this to women, he almost always said it to men - men he was going against in the ring, announcers, riling up audience members into saying it with him, etc. So though it certainly doesn’t come off as great, I don’t think it was the writer’s intent for him to be dismissive because of her gender. As for calling her princess, saying he can’t stand her, and otherwise being patronizing, I think that’s less because she’s a woman and more because she’s incredibly young. I’m hardly excusing how condescending he’s being to Franziska - to put it plainly, he’s being a total asshole. But he’s also nasty to Phoenix here, too - and after he leaves, Phoenix points out that he seemed unusually angry and upset, which could certainly lead to him lashing out in anger. (And if there’s anyone who understands how hurtful you can be when you lash out in anger, it’s Franziska von Karma.) 

This is why I don’t think this conversation is proof of misogyny. We gotta look at his interactions with other women to decide that. For one - do any of us really think Mia would have dated him if he was a sexist asshole? This is Mia Fey we’re talking about. The firebrand, the fierce presence, the brilliant, confident, self-assured woman that saved Phoenix Wright’s life and inspired him so greatly. I feel it discredits her character to say that she’d be in a relationship with someone who thought she wasn’t on the same level, instead of kicking his ass halfway to the moon and having nothing more to do with him than she absolutely had to. I’m hardly saying that strong women can’t be the victim of unhealthy relationships, but that really doesn’t seem like what’s happening here. Godot respects Mia a lot, clearly - the whole key point of his bit of closure at the end of the case is him seeing that all of Mia’s intelligence and ability and strength lives on in Phoenix. Godot is also one of the only people in the franchise who repeatedly warns that Dahlia is not to be underestimated - a sentiment few of the other characters consistently share. You could definitely say that Diego underestimated her when he went to coffee with her and she poisoned him, but once again I don’t think that based on his behavior, that’s something that can be chalked up to him underestimating women as a whole - especially not considering how he reacts to Dahlia for the rest of the game.

Finally, let’s get to the other sore point people with misogyny accusations have about him - his habit of calling women “kitten.” Is it kinda patronizing? Honestly, I won’t lie, it kinda is. But I bring this up because this isn’t something exclusive to his character - Klavier is out here calling every woman he interacts with “Fraulein,” which is essentially the German equivalent of “little miss,” and sounds pretty damn condescending. Why is it that Godot is constantly being called sexist, when Klavier is not? Isn’t that hypocritical? And while we’re diving into the notion of hypocrisy, we absolutely need to talk about Aura Blackquill. Aura seems to be quite a popular character, despite her numerous flaws. But the thing about Aura is that she and Godot are incredibly similar characters, and frankly, short of Misty’s death, she arguably did much worse things than he did. She took out her anger on the robots that were a symbol of her love for Metis, robots that felt real human emotions, and abused them as some sort of petty revenge. She even kidnaps Trucy, someone who has nothing to do with the case, and in the bad ending Phoenix never sees his daughter again. I don’t hate Aura. Aura’s seriously messed up, and she needs to work through a lot of her problems before she gets out of prison. But it is wild to criticize people who like Godot despite his flaws, and then turn around and act like Aura, a near-mirror of his character, did nothing wrong.

Last bit to cover - Lanamia shippers. I actually don’t dislike Lanamia as a ship. The “intellectual attraction” thing? Honestly, sounds pretty gay, and I’m for it. I enjoy the idea of them having dated in college, and while they broke up amicably and stayed friends, perhaps Lana still had some leftover feelings for Mia she couldn’t quite chase away. But what’s frustrating about looking at much of the extant Lanamia content is that it often serves to erase Diego entirely, either scarcely acknowledging that he and Mia were in fact in a romantic relationship, or having her suddenly flirt with Lana barely a year after Diego falls into a coma! Please, let’s be realistic - she’s not gonna move on from her comatose boyfriend that quickly.

Godot is a flawed character, and deliberately so. He unfairly projects his own self-loathing onto Phoenix, when Phoenix is also grieving Mia’s loss, as a petty attempt at revenge. He was cryptic and didn’t let Phoenix know about the plan to protect Maya because of this pettiness and bitterness, which ultimately led to the loss of Misty’s life. He admits that he stabbed Dahlia in Misty’s body not just to protect Maya, but also out of his own blind rage, not realizing that it would be his dead girlfriend’s mother who he’d be killing. And yeah, the kitten nicknaming thing? Probably something he needs to work on. (Personally, I think he maybe grew up in a sexist household, and has been spending his life fighting those entrenched values, but they slip through the cracks now and then.)  But the biggest thing that bothers me is the fandom’s refusal to acknowledge the most important aspect of the end of Trials and Tribulations - he realizes all of this. He knows he’s done wrong, that he’s been unfair and done stupid things. He literally would have gotten off the hook scot-free in defense of another, but he himself admitted in court that it wasn’t his only motive. So many people in the fanbase treat him as if he’s some complete asshole who refuses to get better, but the fact that he realizes everything he’s done means he has the capacity to change, and someday become the man he used to be. I think it’s a shame that Capcom never brought him back, because it would be immensely rewarding to know that he’d eventually left prison, and tried to piece together a better life again. This whole series is people who have done bad things trying to become better, isn’t it? Diego is just as deserving of a second chance as anyone.

As always, if you wanna discuss anything, hit me up in replies, reblogs, asks, or wherever! Thanks for reading this far, and I’ll see you around!

[apiratewhopines]

I’m going to alternate artwork so we get leather-clad Killian and fancy dress up Killian.

Midnight

Chapter 3 — The Godfather

Summary: In which our heroine accepts the finer things in life

Chapter 3 of 7 on AO3

“He gave her things that she was needin’

He gave her a home built of gold and steel

A diamond car with platinum wheels”

-Minnie The Moocher, Cab Calloway

The creeping pace her warden set was nerve-racking. She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or if every eye in the place was watching their slow procession through the ballroom. Finally exiting the room, they paused in the hallway and Emma said resignedly, “Let’s get this over with.”

“I’ve had my eye on you from the moment you walked in,” the other man commented, nodding to passersby with no hint of distress. “You should have known better than to think you could escape unnoticed.”

“Well, I thought if I left quietly, no one would be the wiser,” she replied, smiling at him with a hopeful kind of chagrin. “You can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“Don’t apologize, my dear. There are three of us in rebellion against this entertainment if you want to call it that. I think I may turn down all future invitations from Regina if this is the torture we will be subject to…” Grabbing her arm softly, he started steering them through the throng still attempting to find a place in the ballroom.

She was shocked they weren’t heading to the front entrance. The man, who had yet to introduce himself, was leading her down a back hallway. Moments later, he paused in front of a closed door. “You do play bridge, yes?”

Emma hadn’t played the game since she was a teenager staying with Granny, but as usual, the lessons the older woman taught her were going to save her from a terrible fate. “Yes, though I’m a bit rusty. But why me?”

“You’re charming, you’re bored, and you have the face of someone who wouldn’t trump your partner’s ace,” he explained with a breezy smile. Placing his finger to his lips to hush any further conversation, he pressed an ear to the door and then gave two quick raps against the frame. Taking one more second, he then opened it and ushered her in.

Upon entering, she saw two occupants huddled by the fireplace, which blazed happily with a roaring fire in opposition to the warm night. Immediately, his pause made sense as she noticed a faint smudge of lipstick on the smooth skin of the man’s face.

“Lancelot, Guinevere, allow me to introduce Madam—I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name.”

Scrambling, she said the first thing that popped into her mind. “Jones.”

“Ah, Madam Jones, I’m Sidney Glass, your knight in shining armor for the evening. This is Guinevere Soberano and Lancelot du Lac, your fellow insurrectionists.” Her knight joked before adding, “Lance is the most dangerous man in the room, so watch yourself.”

Seeing how the tall, handsome man took his time sizing her up, she had a feeling she knew what made him dangerous. The fashionable lines of his tuxedo did little to hide his muscular build, and while he wasn’t the sexiest man she’d met that evening, she knew if they had met on any other night of her life, he would have been. She could tell by how his eyes continued to seek her out that he wasn’t immune to her charms either. It should have made her feel better considering she’d been in the same outfit for nearly two days and her hair was still wet from her dash through the thunderstorm. Instead, it made her feel tired.

Taking a seat with trepidation, she tried to hide her feelings of discomfort. She was the one who ran when offered a cozy landing place, so now she needed to play the hand she was dealt. Literally. Watching as Sidney took over as dealer, she asked, “What are we playing for? Bragging rights?”

“How about our normal stakes? Five dollars a point?”

Eyes wide, she calculated if she remembered the game correctly, there would be thousands of dollars exchanging hands tonight. If only a fraction of that money came her way, she may be able to get out of this dress and fill up her tank so she could hit the road and resume her search. She refused to think about what she would do if she didn’t win. Granny had been a cutthroat player, so she had more than enough practice.

Lance settled in as her partner, his eyes never leaving her face as the group silently arranged their cards and planned their strategies. Her heart racing, Emma mumbled, “Two spades.”

And the game began.

Hours later, they were in the hole and she couldn’t help wishing Sidney or the other woman was her partner. Lance seemed much more interested in flirting with her than winning, and if she weren’t sure it would get her thrown out, she would have kicked him under the table for screwing up her chance to turn her luck around. Not to mention the fact that with every suggestive exchange, Guinevere’s eyes grew a little bit colder. She had a feeling the woman would make a formidable enemy.

The door to their hideaway opened to admit her former neighbor, his eyes as unnerving by firelight as they had been in the brighter gleam of the ballroom. The ever-present smirk was there in full force as he made his way to their table and planted himself between Lance and Guinevere. “Darling, why don’t you introduce me to your newest recruit?”

“Madam Jones, this is my husband Arthur Soberano, the only man on the planet who enjoys these little parties. Arthur, this is Madam Jones, a woman in need of a better bridge partner.”

“It’s so hard to concentrate on cards sometimes,” Lance murmured, his heated glance never leaving her face so no one had any doubts about what was distracting him.

Arthur observed the exchange, and the subsequent reactions, with the expression of a man who finally found his silver lining. She hoped it was catching. “Jones, eh? Would you be one of the Rhode Island Joneses?”

Pasting a bright smile on her face, she demurred. “No, but I’ve heard they’re lovely people.”

“You’re American, correct?”

“What gave it away? My abysmal accent?”

“Something like that,” Arthur responded with a smile. “So if not Rhode Island, what Jones clan do you hail from?”

“Oh, Jones is my married name. My husband is from Cambridge.”

“Of course! I should have known. I ran into Baron Jones a few years ago in Budapest, and he spoke of an American girl. How is he? Is he here tonight?”

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, because of course there would be a Baron Jones and of course this enigmatic man would know him, she stared at her cards and hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt when she said, “No, no. He’s still in Budapest. He wasn’t feeling well enough for transatlantic travel. You know, the old trouble flaring up.”

Tsking with a hint of amusement, Arthur narrowed his eyes. “That’s too bad. Guinevere, we really must make a trip there soon. Beautiful city. Tell me, Madam Jones, did they ever finish the metro Line 1?”

For the love of all that was holy, would the man never stop with the questions? “You know how construction is…the roads are still a mess here and there.”

She knew by the way his body shifted that she had misstepped. She wasn’t sure what trap he laid, but she walked right into it. To add insult to injury, the final hand of the night went into their loss column.

Lance shook his head in defeat and pulled out his wallet. “I really must apologize, Madam Jones. I’m usually a much better player. You’ll have to let me make amends to you. Perhaps lunch tomorrow? What’s your favorite place?”

“That depends, Lance. How much money am I out tonight? I will exact revenge in corresponding measure.”

Sidney piped in with a gleeful laugh. “Four thousand dollars from each of you. Not a bad haul, if I do say so myself. But bypassing the awful concert makes the win priceless.”

Her head swam with the figure, trying to ignore the way Arthur was circling the room like a caged lion and wondering how plausible it was for a baroness not to carry cash. Surely, the nobility class had people to handle this kind of thing for them. “I’m not sure I have that much on me. I hope you’ll accept my IOU. Has anyone seen my bag?”

She saw the look Guinevere and Sidney exchanged and her stomach dropped. They wouldn’t let it go. Perhaps looking for her non-existent purse would allow her to sneak out.

“Is this it, Madam Jones?”

“Yes, thank you.” Turning around, she saw a beaded clutch she’d never laid eyes on before in Arthur’s extended hand. She hadn’t stolen a single thing in her life, and she wasn’t thrilled to start now, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Opening it, she found a wad of cash that looked like it could bankroll a small country for a year. Shocked, her gaze flew to meet Arthur’s and he winked before departing the room.

—

No matter how hard she tried to shake him, Lance would not leave her alone. Subsequently, everyone in the entourage hung on like they had nothing better to do than tag along while she flitted around the club trying to lose them. Finally, the evening started breaking up. Large groups of people gave each other air kisses and made plans to meet at various houses for brunch the next day. Freedom was within reach if she could only make it out the front door.

They bid goodbye to their hostess, who was high on finding the supposed party crasher, an older woman they dragged from the downstairs powder room and tossed out into the night, still swearing she didn’t know anyone named Neal and claiming she was the Duchess of Longbourn.

Emma thought a silent apology to the woman and hoped karma graded on a curve.

“Allow me to wait with you until your car pulls around,” Lance said, offering his arm to help her down the steps.

“I’d hate to trouble you,” Emma ground out, her voice deepened with the effort of holding in a groan of frustration. “My chauffeur is habitually late.”

“Then I should give you a ride,” Lance countered. He had yet to let go of her arm, and she was afraid she would have to cut it off to make a clean break. “Where are you staying?”

Having no clue of the lodging situation in Misthaven, she worried about another trap under Arthur’s expectant stare. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

“The Ritz,” he immediately countered.

“Right in one! But really, I’d rather wait for my car.” When the words left her mouth, the familiar lines of a black BMW cruised down the street slowly like the driver was looking for something. Or someone. Panicked, she flashed her new admirer a dazzling smile. “On second thought, let’s get out of here.”

As Lance handed her into his sports car, she heard Guinevere’s voice muttering to Sidney, “We don’t know anything about her. She came here all alone.”

“I notice she’s not leaving alone,” Arthur replied, smile widening as he caught her eye through the window and gave her a jaunty wave.

By jumping into a car with a virtual stranger for the second time that evening, she avoided one issue but created another. Her time was running out because this charade was doomed to fail when they arrived at the hotel and there wasn’t a room for Baroness Jones. She’d have to get rid of him in the parking lot.

Unsurprisingly, considering how her night was going, it was easier said than done. Lance appeared to be a gentleman if you overlooked his tendency to have affairs with other men’s wives and wouldn’t hear of dropping her off at the entrance. Throwing his keys toward the valet stand, he made his way to the concierge desk over her protests that she had some things to handle in the lobby before heading to her room.

She closed her eyes as she heard him say, “Checking into Baroness Jones’s room.”

Here it came. The boom.

“Of course, sir. Will that be all?”

Opening one eye, she watched as the employee handed over the room card. This couldn’t be right. She must be trapped in some nightmare where her pain and humiliation hung like a knife above her head, and the anticipation of the stabbing turned out to be worse than the violent act itself.

Laughing with fake merriment, she snatched the card from Lance before he could pocket it and said forcefully, “Thank you for a lovely evening. Good night.”

“My mother always said to see a woman to her door, or my job wasn’t done.”

Unable to hide her exasperation one second longer, she asked, “Don’t you know when to go home?”

“No.” With a broad smile, he held the elevator door open while she entered and wished for death. In hindsight, her original plan of sleeping on a park bench seemed like a real winner compared to this slow torture. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about the warm bed and warmer smile she had also turned down.

Tired, annoyed, and pining for her original driver of the evening, she didn’t even try to maintain a conversation with the man beside her, her head filled with dread at the idea she was about to open the door to a hotel room occupied by the real Baroness Jones. With the resigned stride of a prisoner walking the green mile, she reached the room slower than the situation called for and leaned against the door facing Lance. With a stony expression, she said pointedly, “Look, right to the door. You did your mother proud and can go home and sleep peacefully.”

“What? No nightcap?”

“No, absolutely not. I don’t need a mother to tell me inviting a man into my hotel room in the middle of the night is a bad idea. Go home.”

Laughing, he reached out and pushed her hair away from her face. “You’re magnificent.”

“I’m also married,” she bit out, barely resisting the urge to slap his hand away. There was something riveting about a man with an overabundance of confidence, but she refused to be charmed. If she were going to give in to any urges, she would have done it with the person behind Door Number One.

“So I’ve heard. At least make sure the card works. Those things are notoriously fickle, like most wives I’ve met.”

Chuckling despite herself, she swiped the card against the reader, grateful to hear the lock disengage in the quiet hallway. “There. Good night.”

Before he could say or do anything else, she slipped into the room and clicked the door firmly back in place. She tiptoed through the suite, not daring to turn on the lights while she looked for any trace someone else was in the room. Her search coming up empty, she reached over and flooded the bedroom with light.

The king-size bed looked heavenly. Giggling, she decided to make the most of this temporary reprieve. She dropped her clothes in a pile and ran to the bathroom, happy to find it as luxurious as the rest of the rooms in the suite. Turning the water all the way to hot, she allowed the steamy spray to wash away the hurt, the hopelessness, and the hysteria.

She stepped out of the shower an hour later, eyes red-rimmed and body weak with fatigue. Not even bothering to dry off, she collapsed in the bed and fell into a sleep plagued with blue eyes and black cars.

—

The sound of the antique telephone ringing penetrated the fog in her brain as the last strands of sleep broke. Startled, Emma glanced down at her nude form and immediately looked beside her to see if she was alone. Her dreams of the previous night didn’t fade quickly, and the vivid image of the Captain and his wonderful stubble made her ache.

Groaning as memory replaced fantasy, she plopped back against the mattress and grabbed one of the nearly two dozen pillows haphazardly strewn across the bed to cover her head in an attempt to drown out the noise.

It wasn’t really her hotel room, so she probably shouldn’t answer it anyway.

Unfortunately, the caller didn’t know she was an imposter and seemed determined to reach the room’s occupant. She picked up the receiver and pulled it under the pillow to join her. In a groggy voice she asked, “What?”

The chirpy voice of a hotel employee responded, “Good morning, Baroness Jones. Your luggage has arrived.”

“From Boston?” That didn’t make any sense. She’d pawned her last remaining possessions less than forty-eight hours ago, but unless she packed a boomerang in the pocket of her favorite jeans, she wasn’t sure what they were doing in Misthaven.

“I’m not sure, madam. The delivery driver only mentioned it was for the baroness. It should be arriving at your room momentarily.”

As if summoned by magic, there was a knock and she hung up the phone while trying to wrap herself in the thick comforter. Dragging the ends of the blanket like a train behind her, she threw open the door and felt her eyes widen at the sight greeting her. Lining the hallway was a parade of hotel employees carrying a few pieces of luggage each.

In mute shock, she moved out of the way and the group started piling the bags in the living room of the suite. When the final trunk was laid in the corner by the wall of windows overlooking the town, she stood staring unblinkingly at the head bellhop.

“Will there be anything else, Baroness?”

“No, I think this is quite enough.”

“Very well.”

The group seemed hesitant to depart, and she did a quick check to make sure her makeshift toga hadn’t slipped. Finding everything was as it should be, reason soaked through her dazed brain and she said, “Oh, the tip!”

“No, madam. Your chauffeur took care of it already. He wanted to know if you’d be needing the car today. It’s beautiful weather out.”

“My chauffeur took care of the tip and wants to know if I need the car…” she echoed back, trying to see if the words made more sense if she was the one saying them. No. No such luck. She was going mad. That was the only explanation. Or maybe the Captain wasn’t all he seemed to be and he had drugged her and this was simply a hallucination. Noticing the flock of bellhops was waiting patiently for her response, she smiled benignly and said, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

A voice called out from the doorway, “And what about breakfast, Baroness?”

The hotel employees filed out, leaving her and her unexpected visitor alone. Pulling the comforter more tightly around herself, she hissed, “Arthur. It was you.”

“What was me, my dear?”

“The money, the room, the clothes, the chauffeur. Does Baron Jones even exist, or did you make him up?”

“I like to think of him as more of a group effort. You provided the inspiration; I provided the title. Seeing you in all your lost girl glory last night gave me an idea.”

“From the moment you looked at me, I had an idea you had an idea. I’m not interested.”

Chuckling, he tossed his hat and jacket across a nearby chair and sank into the couch. “I’m sure there is a robe or something a little less linen closet in one of these suitcases. I’ll close my eyes while you look if you’d like.”

“I think I’ll stay over here.” Where it’s safe.

“You have nothing to fear from me, dear. I’m here to make a proposal. One that will be mutually beneficial, I hope,” he drawled, picking a piece of fluff off his pants. He continued to avert his eyes, which she found strange since he stopped by to proposition her over breakfast apparently. “This is only the tip of the iceberg. I can guarantee you’ll never have to worry about money again.”

“Still not interested. You know the way out.”

“Come on, Baroness. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable and hear me out? I promise it’s nothing like what you think.”

“Arthur, when Little Red Riding Hood spots long, gray whiskers, it’s ridiculous to keep insisting you’re the grandmother,” she retorted, moving carefully toward the nearest bag so she didn’t accidentally flash him. Pulling out a shirt at random, she riffled through the case until she found a pair of shorts as well. Scrambling to the bathroom, she called out over her shoulder. “Go huff and puff somewhere else.”

“I guess that means I’m the big bad wolf,” he said with a smile as he moved to trail after her. When she slammed the door in his face, he raised his voice and added, “I’ve certainly been called worse. Tell me, what was your impression of Lance?”

“I think neither of you takes no for an answer very well,” she mumbled as she pulled on the shirt and stared at herself in the mirror. What bizarre alternate universe had she stumbled into, and how in the world was she going to return to reality. Talking to her reflection, she said, “You’re Emma Swan. You’re not a baroness. Killian Jones is not your husband. You are not going to shack up with Lance or Arthur.”

“Nice pep talk, but if I may be so bold as to suggest a different path,” her visitor interrupted from the other side of the door. “You see, my old friend Lancelot and my wife think they are in love.”

“That’s very cozy but not my problem.”

“I’d like to pay you to make it your problem, Emma Swan. Nice name, by the way. Last night was the first time since their affair started that I thought there might be a ray of hope. The whole time Lance was flirting with you, my wife was fighting tears.”

Rolling her eyes, she snapped open the door and was satisfied to see him lose his balance. “Who won?”

“I plan to, and I’d like you to be on my team. I just need you to keep his attention long enough for Guin to come to her senses.”

Moving past him, she picked up her discarded dress from the prior evening and grabbed the laundry bag out of the nearby closet. “Why don’t you punch him and be done with it?”

“He’s the top man at our boxing club. And besides, the last thing I need is to drive her further into his arms by making him a martyr.” He reached over and placed his hand on her arm, stilling her frantic movements. “Please. At least hear me out.”

Meeting his gaze for the first time since he entered the room, she observed, “You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yes. She’s not the only one who made mistakes. I need your help to make this right. And it might work out well for you too, you know. Lance’s family makes a superior income from a very inferior champagne. He’s no baron, but he does have the bank account of one.”

“I think you need a lawyer, not another homewrecker.”

“I’ll never get a divorce. Come on, Emma. We’re having a party at my estate in the Enchanted Forest. Come out this weekend and give it a go. I’ll pay you fifty thousand to show up and another fifty if this harebrained scheme works.”

“I… I’m not sure…”

“Am I upsetting some other plans? Do you have another offer?”

Thinking of black leather jackets and pie, she smiled wistfully. Shaking herself, she tried to focus on the fact that a hundred grand would pay back what Neal had stolen from Granny and leave enough for her to put a down payment on a place in the city. “Yes, I think I do. But fine, I’ll play along through the end of the weekend. Then I’m out regardless of what happens.”

“Fair enough. I’ll let Guin know I ran into you and invited you to join the party,” he said with a grin. If he had a mustache, she was sure he’d be twirling it.

Before they could discuss any other details, there was another knock at the door. With an exasperated expression, Emma asked her companion, “What now?”

Putting his hands up in a placating gesture, Arthur assured her, “Hey, this one isn’t me.”

Yanking open the door, she saw an enormous bouquet of red roses. She took the flowers with both hands as Arthur cocked his eyebrow in silent question and pulled out the card. “‘If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. -Lance.’ Huh. I rather resent that. The note to Guin just said, ‘So glad we met.’”

Notes:

For those who were wondering about Arthur’s trap, the Budapest subway is one of the oldest in the world and the line he mentioned was completed in 1896.

The quote on Lancelot’s card is from Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @stahlop @motherkatereloyshipper @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @klynn-stormz

[thebestsandiever]

Regarding the chaos and aftermath of the Verstappen crash at the 2021 British GP

Before I begin, this is solely my own thoughts on the crash and aftermath of it, resources and intel being from various news reports, articles, interviews, social media reactions/on track fans reactions, commentators, careers etc. Also important, this post was made around 11 PM CEST, so other news after that or in the midst of this, I haven’t considered.

  Comments and discussions are welcome, though remember to keep the tone guys. I rarely comment on anything on Tumblr, but looking at this chaos, I felt like sharing a bit.

  Starting on the incident that happened, I don’t believe that I can clearly decide what happened and who caused, and the only comments I have is that I believe it was a racing incident that has no bad intention. We hear in conclusion from sources (there was an after analysis) (e.g. also Lewis’ Sky Sports interview) that both could have given each other space. Lewis trying to get in, and Max defending his position. People who think Lewis did it intentionally clearly have no common sense, no one wants Max to end up going to the hospital (but he is fine so no worries). Of course, nothing excuses that a crash happened, and it’s a big shame.

  All the hate Lewis is getting should tone down, I think it’s fair to be critical in perspective of racing which consists of the crash and his comments regarding it, but anything that comments on something other than that with negativity, shouldn’t be.

  Something that many F1 fans have brought up and Horner I believe (slightly) is Lewis 15+ years of experience in Formula one and numerous of championships. Which I think in any sport or topic isn’t a fair argument, because mistakes happen to anyone, no one is immune to that, though this is not me calling the crash a mistake, because I don’t believe that is the right word. It’s more Lewis knowing the danger of closing in and Max of course defending himself on track, and this is the end result. And if anyone was a viewer of the Euro 2020 Football Cup Finals, it’s a bit like the Southgate criticism on the penalties.

  This also applies to all the fans who bring up Max’ aggressive and old nickname “crashstappen” from his early F1 career. Whether you have your impression from Netflix’ Drive to Survive or the fact that you’re new, anyone will agree that Max has matured greatly both on and off track, in my opinion one of the calmest drivers on the grid considering the amount of criticism, hate and burden that he gets/has. The fact is that there have been some people on Twitter (when I now and later comment on fans and reactions, it’s usually the very chaotic Twitter), that mentions Verstappen’s past, the infamous Baku and this season’s races where Lewis is the one who, in their words, “has backed up and gave space” (the reason I say their words is because I can’t quite remember so I won’t say that I know for sure). But again, as I mentioned, this is not valid, because it doesn’t excuse what happened today. Every track is a title fight, and previous races and tactics doesn’t apply to this. What I mean is that because Lewis gave space previous races, does it mean that Verstappen should crash? Or worded differently, because Max didn’t give space like he has previous times, that “it was coming” or that he should crash? Biggest takeaway from this is that past and future shouldn’t mean more than what happened in the present. This leading me on to a bit of the hate Max got which I think was quite undeserving, especially under his circumstances, which is f1 fans (mostly Twitter) calling it “karma” and using his young past to somehow “justify” the crash.

Also I really disliked the videos of “British fans” (we can’t actually determine that all were British, but it was home track) cheering when the crash happened, but in general I think cheering on a crash will always be awful even if you’re favourite driver gains position. Gladly though, it quickly died down on the stands as they realized it was hard impact. Very Euro 2020 vibes, though a much better English crowd- Just kidding, maybe you can see I’m not happy when any kind of fans act out of order (also I don’t hate English football fans, but sadly, the ones who make stupid actions overshadow the rest).

  Now I also want to comment a bit on the drivers and teams’ comments and the PR.

  So regarding Max’ social media post about the race. I honestly think it’s fair for him to be upset, no one wants to be taken out on the first lap considering that he is leading while a VERY good and competitive Lewis is trailing behind. My first reaction was that it was quite an aggressive post and the part about him unfollowing Lewis (if that is correct, I haven’t seen it myself yet) was obviously implying that he isn’t happy. Though, emotions run high as well does Lewis’ celebration reaction. I know his mind is to win on track and he has always been outspoken about that fact. Also I don’t quite believe that Max’ comments were full heartedly himself, but the PR team considering he’s just been at the hospital. I’m not happy with his post at all, but I understand both from a PR perspective and a driver’s. I believe almost any driver on the track would have said something like that in an interview if it happened to them. This just happened to be online because of health circumstances.

  Regarding Marko and Horner, I must disagree with their aggressiveness or at least the way they decide to comment on it. I do understand the anger, considering the championship but also concern for Max (anyone who knows their relationship knows that they care about him.) Again, I have to say emotions run high and if anything, managers are good at, and this is not specifically only attacking Horner, but it’s stirring up tension. I would say it’s fair for him to say, and quite expected, not saying I think it’s fair for Lewis to receive though (hopefully you get what I mean).

  Commenting a bit on Lewis’ Sky Sports F1 interview, we can confirm he didn’t know about Max going to the hospital before celebrating. Anyone who wins has the right to celebrate, especially at home, so props for his win, though unfortunately through a crash (this meaning Verstappen was his biggest threat on track). Though I wasn’t pleased about the commenting on Max. This leads further into the interview.

  We get Lewis’ insight on the incident and where he sees Max as the aggressive one, both not giving each other space and having the crash as end result. So in conclusion, Max trying to defend his position and Lewis trying to get in, fair. Please watch the interview, because it clears up a lot of what is spoken about in the media.  

My thoughts on Lewis’ response both before and after hearing about Max going to the hospital in the Sky Sports interview, is that he probably could’ve/should’ve toned down on Max being the aggressor, as they were both considering what the crash led to, and him saying that it was just about who was going to give space until it was too late. It kind of goes against what he just said. But I do agree that Lewis has the right to celebrate because he simply won. I also liked that he had championship spirit saying that considering what happened, it didn’t take the shine away from his win. It may sound disrespectful, and I do still kind of think it is, but on the other side, it’s him being competitive, and both drivers have each other’s respect on being able to fight on track. So he’s got the spirit, just maybe not the right interview to show the most competitive spirit (I think the most competitive spirit/response he’s shown this 2021 season)

  A bit more on his spirit and fighting on track is seen from Lawrence Barreto who tells us that Lewis has the “game on” spirit and is ready for attacks on track but there needs to be respect on track “and if not this will happen more often I guess.” - Lewis. Just a bit more closure from another source, I like that he is more responsive, but this does make it sound like he blames Max for it. I think any driver who are up against each other have the right or it makes sense to give the majority of the blame to the other, they have their own rear mirrors (see it from their own perspective when they drive, quite literally), but it isn’t the best comment to be honest. Since he says himself, both could’ve given space.

  My biggest disagreement that I must mention is the penalty Lewis got, which was the 10 second penalty. Assessing the severity of the crash with high speed, 51G impact, first lap etc. I think the penalty didn’t really serve much of a penalty, but this is also me being critical of the penalty system. These 10 second penalties don’t really make you lose that much of position (depends on car), also this is not a blow at Lewis but just the system. Afterwards, he was also given 2 penalty points. I think compared to someone like Yuki who also got 2 penalty points for crossing the white line twice while entering the pits and George yesterday at the Sprint Race (1 penalty point + 3 place grid penalty) are quite different but looking at the number, there isn’t a big difference in what’s given. But all of this penalty talk is on the stewards and system, so nothing against Lewis and he did take his penalty that was given.

  I did not comment much on the actual incident as I have a hard time really deciding (I can admit I see Lewis unintentionally drift a bit in + this being a very fast turn, I believe just a misjudgment but so many fans think it was intentional), so therefore do read and watch the current and coming interviews and articles to get some racing perspective. It keeps updating and even drivers like Riccardo, Leclerc, Alonso etc. have given their comments, and who better to listen to than professionals themselves. So I encourage you to get perspective there, because I know not all of us are the most technical fans, and we tend to comment by being led through a bias and crowd.

  But if we’re feeling a bit tired from today, so far the drivers are leaning towards a racing incident. They speak of it as quite unclear to determine, basically saying that both drivers could’ve done and were doing something --> could’ve given space.

  We all have to remember this situation is a big deal since it’s the only two to be fair at the moment, who are competing for the championship. Both mad talented and on each other every track. Media blows it out more than them and before we know it, they’re back to what they do best, which is drive.

  Heart goes out to Max, it was quite an impact and if not his worst crash so far in his career. His team radio was quite scary to listen to, I’ve never heard him so shook, but he is doing quite fine at the moment, and he will hopefully recover well enough for the next race.

  As well for Lewis, emotions are running high and people are quick to assume and accuse without using common sense that Lewis wouldn’t endanger Max or himself. He has every right to celebrate a win and props for him winning.

  In conclusion to those who has taken the time to read, don’t let my thoughts be any decider, but more so a way to understand and be a bit more open minded. We are all subjective in the end and I try to see from both perspectives and to be critical as well, not being led by others’ opinions. I’ve stated my sources, and this is only my overall thoughts at the very moment, so remember, as drivers evolve and move on, we do too.

  I again encourage you to watch and research with an open mind so not being led on bias, especially if you’re willing to spread anything on the topic. It serves a greater outcome than sprouting from emotions and lack of information, as we have well seen from this sport. Because media does influence and we as an audience is a part of it. So I must remind again, that this is simply my thoughts.

[wemakeitupaswego]

“I really hope they stay friends tbh. As much as all of this has been entertaining, it is tragic seeing the two growing apart.”

Seeing things like this makes me so happy to be a cockles shipper. It just shows me how not toxic we are compared to the other side. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really liked J1 ever since the doxxing business, so long before the finale. But I’m certainly not jumping up and down in joy about a seemingly ruined friendship, even though it was kinda funny, as you said,but I certainly wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

So while I’m not happy about the fact that apparently j//2 weren’t as close as we thought, I am happy that their crazy stans got to see it all, I’m not saying all of them are like that, but most of them are. All those copypastas and comments about Jenmish’s friendship being PR, all the unnecessary hate towards Misha and j//2’s wives, them trying to convince themselves and everyone else that Jensen actually hated Misha(ha). It just seems like delicious karma to me. I’d hoped this whole thing would humble them a bit, but apparently most of them are back on their usual bs after the PR make up.

I see a lot in the fandom hating on Cockles shippers for shipping real ppl. We don't go over to them and demand them declare their love for each other. We simply percieve. I know some rookie fans have gone over the board but most of us, we try to keep it all here. You don't bother them with your specs whether how much they make sense or not. Rule 01!

Considered to the whole j/2 speak the truth manifesto and all the craze of stalking their families, we have literally done nothing to bother Jensen and Misha. Best example is the recent roommates revelation. Most of the shippers knew and assumed. But were ethically developed enough to keep it under wraps. Because if you care enough to make their relationship work, then you should know how careful we have to be to not out them or force them to be out. It has to happen naturally...

As for J1 I am not a big fan or anything but I certainly don't wanna hate the guy. He makes it difficult tbh. I think at one point we weren't annoyed by J1 but more annoyed by his fans who went too far with the relationship between the two Js. Ship all you want but the moment you sent fish hooks to Dee, you are the most pathetic human for me. So yes whatever happened I think a portion of those shippers who forced it too far deserved to be lit like that by the reality of it all. Jensen is not the person they thought he was, because they fantasized and idolized him into someone they wanted Jensen to be in their minds.

I did enjoy the whole drama that went down because it was necessary for something like that to happen for some people to open their eyes and get out of the maze. Evidently some did so anon. And others bunkered themselves even deeper. But at least next time they hate on Js wives they should remember that both boys chose their families over everything else. Jensen and Dee are doing the prequel together. No matter how much J/2 shippers don't want to, Dee is gonna be involved oh so much regarding the prequel and I am here for it.

Oh yes sweet karma that was. For all the hatred towards Misha, something like an avalanche on their ship was bound to fall. When something is made of lies and fantasies a little slip is enough to make it all tumble to the ground.

And they should remember that Jensen is his own person and do not need J1 to tag on all his projects. Jensen is moving on and happily without J1. And we should accept that. I so want Js to be friends again because it is too weird out there without them making up. But now we will always know...at least 50% of that relationship is PR. Most of all the other side realises that. So before they sent out another bag of hooks to the wives, I so hope they remind themselves that.

Hope you're doing well anon.. Mutuals are always welcome 🙏

[obeymeluv]

The Bros and School Headcanons

I have other stuff in mind but this is something short I can put out for now.

It’s my headcanon on the types of school/college people the bros are. I guess you can consider it college AU?

Lucifer

The Type-A asshole everyone probably hates

Doesn’t originally start out that way, doesn’t mean for people to hate him. Soon LIVES for it. Seriously, it’s like his coffee.

Prideful AF. MUST be top of the class!

His motto: “Do it right, do it once.”

Runs on an insane amount of coffee and just as insane (read: little) amount of sleep

The type to remind the teacher about assignments that were due in class if it seems like they’re going to forget about it

Asks about extra credit on day one

If people ask repeat questions that were LITERALLY just answered, he gets pissy and silently suffers

Ends up a little sad and burnt out, wondering if the grade was worth skipping out on other opportunities

Says he’s not going to do it next semester, but gets addicted to that grade high

The “friends” he makes in class are usually fellow rivals and they have a hot and cold relationship that somehow works really well

When he drops the grade-chaser stuff, he’s actually really nice to be around. He has really deep, interesting conversations that are between philosophical and educational (you just have to pull his head out of his ass first)

Mammon

Some people wonder how he got into the class, some people wonder how he’s passing it

Mammon is the dude who looks like he doesn’t know about the subject but is an absolute FOUNTAIN of knowledge

Always has sunglasses on and has some kind of drink within arm’s reach. Usually a very big coffee with lots of espresso

Constant bedhead (even if he says he fixed his hair)

Tried sitting in the front row the first week, kept getting sleepy. Now sits in the back row towards the doors.

He’s either early or late. Never on time.

The one that brings a notebook and a pen to class. Nothing extra.

Usually falls asleep or cat naps. Says he learns through osmosis

This asshole is really good at auditory learning and gets by recording the lectures

Blows through exams like they’re nothing. He’s a good BS’er and gets C’s, minimum. Usually low B’s.

This guy laughs at the Type-A stresser’s and enjoys his minimum studying

Can be suckered into group studying fairly easily but most people won’t study with him because he turns study sessions into anything BUT studying

Knows people who know people. Could probably get his hands on old tests and stuff. If he can, it’ll cost you. A lot.

Levi

This poor baby has testing anxiety hella bad when it comes to subjects he’s not super interested in or that he’s already struggling in

If he likes the subject and feels confident in it, there’s no testing anxiety.

Also brings a drink to class. It’s an energy drink.

Always comes to class early and is usually in a pair of wireless headphones, browsing on his phone

A great visual learner.

His notes are written sloppily and kind of sporadically but they’re decently organized with notes in the margin and things like that

Doesn’t like asking questions out loud. Will either email the teacher, ask after class, or make a friend that isn’t afraid to ask them for him.

If he’s having a good day, he’ll try to make jokes that only make a few people laugh. It’s usually bad timing and he’s a little sad.

MUCH BETTER AT DRAGGING PEOPLE! It’s not something he thinks about. It just slips out! Before his face can overheat, he realizes people are laughing and he kind of basks in it for a while.

Has coordinated stationary; is probably animes he’s into or colors he likes

If he has a laptop, it’s absolutely smothered in stickers

The BEST guy to have a study session with. Something about being in a library or quiet area ramps up his focus and he’s like a second-hand teacher.

Very different from his in-class persona, but is often spot on with ‘If I were the teacher, I’d put this on the exam.’

Want to be friends? Comment on his merch. He’ll start a conversation if he sees a shirt/pin/bag/pencil or anything he likes. It helps if you offer Starbucks or snacks in exchange for being tutored

Satan

Takes pride in his grades but doesn’t go out of his way to make people hate him

Will casually drop his grades when asked, but won’t own up to being the top grade. Very vague (”I did okay. Just like I expected.”)

He more or less enjoys the satisfaction of seeing a good grade come back to him after all that studying

Prone to over-thinking

Probably the first one done, but he’ll do 2 or 3 look overs to check everything before turning it in

Low-key exhausts his professors with written assignments because he gives them a fucking book. It’s all technical and correct but, really, it was only supposed to be three pages!

The one that will yell at the obnoxious people interrupting lecture. Will throw things at them if they’re in reach.

Super protective of his books and class materials. Has a hoarding/scooping reflex when messy people spread out their stuff or unwrap food. The books are not to be desecrated!

If an obnoxious eater/drinker is beside him, he thinks about strangling them to the point where it distracts him from lecture

Usually reads ahead and works ahead

If he gets points off of something, he’ll want an explanation. If he feels the points were taken away unnecessarily, there will be words

If he gets too overstimulated with noises or just hits a point of being fed up, he’ll leave lecture

Rarely brings food or drink to class but can be found at the Starbucks on campus before class. Maybe after. Some days it’s both.

Best notes around. Very technical and perfectly organized. Not colorful or anything, but definitely the envy of people.

Sells his notes/study guides each semester for money

Asmo

That guy who can slide into any friend group

Socially sharp. Can tell who the most prepared are and has an instinct for who the strongest class partners will be

Makes friends with the TA’s before the professors.

Totally convinces that TA to give him hints about the upcoming exams

People either love him or hate him. Most people love him, some people hate them because they can’t be him.

Almost always has a drink and it’s rarely the same. Usually a healthy smoothie or one of the cute juice drinks from Starbucks.

The type to bring in outside food and pick at it while he listens to lecture. Tries to listen, anyways.

Really easily distracted. Gets bored with monotonous voices and HATES teachers who just read off of a powerpoint.

His notes are very colorful and aesthetic but may not be the most informative

Does his best to stay on top of assignments but usually has 2 or 3 big screw ups a semester

Somehow always gets his ass saved. Boy has good karma in stock

This is the guy that things ALWAYS seem to work out for, and they fall in his lap

Proposes cute/semi-extravagant study dates. They are rare and exclusive. Extended to a few choice people (no, it’s not to sucker anyone into giving him class notes.)

Aim’s for C’s because anything more is just a bonus. D’s and F’s are unacceptable.

Will drag a bad partner in a heartbeat. If they didn’t help in the group project, their name isn’t going on it.

Beel

Also one of the types that doesn’t look like he belongs, but he does

Is a fountain of random knowledge

Very strong memory, but not perfect. The type that needs a little push before the absolute WALL of information comes out.

Really strong test taker

Brings tons of snacks to class

Once brought a whole-ass meal to class. He ate it one-handed and took notes with the other.

The guy that somehow gets roped into favors by other people. It’s usually quick stuff and he’s good about setting boundaries to make time for himself and his studies

Want him to study with you? Mention about splitting a pizza or something.

Your hype man. Good guy to reassure you before tests if you get test anxiety

Sick and skip class? He’ll check in on you AND send copies of his notes

Doesn’t always get assignments in on time. Only late once or twice a semester. Either eats the point difference or convinces the teacher to give him an extension.

Will take you out for post-test fun errands

Belphie

Does he exist? You won’t find out until it’s time to take an exam.

Belphie does a lot of research before he signs up for a class. Would like to go 100% online but knows that isn’t realistic, so he combs teacher reviews to get nice, easygoing professors

Has a photographic memory, so all he really needs are the powerpoints and to check out reference copies of the textbooks from the libraries

Tries to take the same classes as his brothers so he can swipe the textbook for a bit

If his only option is a morning class, he DEFINITELY picks the same one as one of his bros to make sure he gets up and goes

More of a night owl

The one that’s addicted to caffeine, stays up all night, and somehow gets 7 assignments done. Has periods of intense focus then it’s back to not knowing what day it is. He just wants sleep.

Usually seen with Beel or Satan. Tends to show up at events with free food.

Loves finals week when they bring in dogs and pets.

Has wireless earbuds and is always listening to a podcast, Tedtalk, or something soothing

Catnaps through class. Even if he’s woken up from a dead sleep, he can answer whatever snarky question someone asked

Takes advantage of the meditation classes and alternative therapy walk-ins promoted by the Mental Health Clinic. He really likes guided meditation with singing bowls.

[raveneira]

Alright this extends from a twitter discussion, this is my counter argument to this post right here that they referenced, now this is my rebuttal.

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

First off thats not how reincarnation works, several times in this post they make the argument that in order to be a true reincarnation that the two people have to be one and the same, this couldnt be further from the truth though.

Reincarnation, also known as rebirth or transmigration is the philosophical or religious belief that the non-physical essence of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body after biological death

In most beliefs involving reincarnation, the soul is seen as immortal and the only thing that becomes perishable is the body. Upon death, the soul becomes transmigrated into a new infant (or animal) to live again. The term transmigration means passing of soul from another body to another after-death.

THIS is how reincarnation works.

The body itself is not that of Ashura, but of Naruto, but Ashura’s SOUL is INSIDE Naruto’s body. They may have the same soul, but the new body functions largely as its own individual.

Take Inuyasha for example, Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyo, she has no memories of Kikyo’s but she inherited her spiritual powers and affinity with a bow and also her love for Inuyasha. Kagome and Kikyo are separate individuals yes, but she still has Kikyo’s soul and her powers by extension. The same applies to Naruto, he and Ashura are different people yes, but he still has Ashura’s SOUL and as such his power, he also inherited his love for his brother Indra which was passed down to Hashirama for Madara, and then Naruto for Sasuke.

To clarify YES Kagome grew to love Inuyasha through her own experiences for her own reasoning, and Naruto grew to love Sasuke like a brother through his own experiences and for his own reasoning. But this was both DESTINED and FATED to happen because of who they were, or more specifically who they are inside. It was inevitable.

The individuals may be different, but as reincarnations they still inherited their past lives powers and bonds/feelings towards the person who was most precious to them before dying. In Kikyo’s case it was her strong love for Inuyasha passed on to Kagome, and in Ashura’s case it was his strong love for his brother Indra and desire to save him passed down to Naruto.

When Hashirama and Madara died, the transmigration cycle resumed. Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will. 

This is from the Naruto wiki, but it is still an accurate description of what reincarnation is in Naruto, the transmigration of someones soul into another persons body, which is exactly what Hagoromo says happened with Naruto and Sasuke.

It’s important to note Naruto is the only one who refers to it as being haunted by a ghost and possession, Hagoromo specifically says in EVERY instance that Naruto and Sasuke are reincarnations and that Ashura and Indra have reincarnated inside them, so to use Naruto’s words here as evidence is inaccurate, because Hagoromo specifically says reincarnation, not possession. 

In Hagoromo’s own character file refers to it as the transmigration of souls walking through an eternity of samara, making the argument of possession null and void.

Saṃsāra is a Sanskrit word that means "world". It is also the concept of rebirth and "cyclicality of all life, matter, existence", a fundamental belief of most Indian religions. In short, it is the cycle of death and rebirth. Saṃsāra is sometimes referred to with terms or phrases such as transmigration, karmic cycle, reincarnation, and "cycle of aimless drifting, wandering or mundane existence"

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

So this statement right here ^ is thoroughly debunked.

The definition of reincarnation and possession is vastly different with how they function and honestly disproves your own point of them being different people, because in order to be possessed you have to be CONTROLED by another entity which Naruto and Sasuke are not.

To possess is to take control over, if Indra and Ashura took control over them and have been in control their whole lives that means two twin brothers consciously developed romantic feelings for eachother by your logic, which is even worse than them just being reincarnations.

Possession is a term more accurate for Edo Tensei or Karma, not reincarnation.

So what am I getting at here? Reincarnation in Naruto doesnt mean being considered the same person as the deceased, it just means you have their soul, it DOES NOT MEAN Naruto is Ashura, he still has his own identity, but part of that identity is influenced by Ashura.

Hagoromo actually refers to it in several ways but they all essentially have the same meaning.

‘Ashura’s chakra is clinging about you’ 

‘Ashura’s presence inside you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated as you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated inside you’.

All different phrases, but carry the same meaning, Ashura’s soul reincarnated inside of Naruto, and Indra’s soul reincarnated inside Sasuke.

Your putting too much emphasis on the wording rather than the meaning.

 Ashura clearly influenced Naruto in many ways despite them being separate people, by having the same soul its only natural that Naruto would inherit many of Ashura’s traits. Hagoromo himself points out how much like Ashura he is.

So their not really that different after all. Ashura’s soul still had alot of influence on Naruto’s beliefs, personality, and ideals as well as his strong bond with Sasuke. Naruto may have reached those conclusions in his own way through his own experiences but the result remained the same as Ashura’s due to his influence from inside him.

However although their not the same person physically, I think its important to note they are the same person spiritually. They still have their own unique chakra signatures that can be distinguished by certain ocular jutsu’s, but they are still overall the same spiritually with the same soul and chakra.

Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will.

Again this is from the wiki, but it still accurately depicts what happened. They are different people, but they still inherited Indra and Ashura’s will from having their souls inside them.

Dont misunderstand, Naruto and Sasuke still have their own wills too and not all of their decisions and feelings extend from Indra and Ashura, Im just saying that they had an INFLUENCE on them in several aspects of their lives, but they still formed their own bonds and relationships through their own life experiences. Zetsu even comments on how Naruto and Sasuke are cooperating closely together more than any other reincarnate before them, proving they are still their own person capable of doing things their own way.

The fact that Naruto was able to succeed where Hashirama and Ashura failed is also proof of their individuality, but that was also predestined to happen.

Ultimately, Naruto managed to succeed in Asura's final goal which all other reincarnations failed at: end the rift between the two lines of the reincarnated brothers. Naruto achieved this after defeating Sasuke, who then finally accepted Naruto's ideals.

Everything I said for Naruto applies to Sasuke so I dont really need to reiterate it.

Onto the next point.

My point is that Indra and Ashura clung to people of their bloodline that was a lot like them, in terms of personality or ambitions, and thereby were reincarnated… So Naruto and Sasuke aren’t brothers and instead are just possessed by brothers..

This is impossible, because Indra and Ashura didnt possess Naruto and Sasuke like I said, but reincarnated inside them not long after they were born once both previous reincarnates were dead, meaning Indra and Ashura had NO idea what Naruto and Sasuke’s personalities or ambitions would be later in life. Their not psychic, they cant see the future so this argument is invalid. 

They simply reincarnated inside Naruto and Sasuke because they were newborns and Hashirama was already dead, so all that was needed was for Madara to die which didnt happen till years later when Naruto and Sasuke were born. Once Sasuke was born Indra reincarnated into him, and when Naruto was born Ashura reincarnated into him. Naruto and Sasuke just happened to be born at the right time, there was nothing more to it than that.

So now that we’re done with the reincarnation counter argument, now for why NaruSasu is problematic because of it and yes, they are in fact brothers.

For starters going off what I said about reincarnation alone already makes things problematic, infact it is the MAIN reason its problematic. Just because Naruto and Sasuke arent literally Indra and Ashura doesnt change the fact that they have their SOULS, meaning they are literally SOUL brothers, do you really not see the problem with two guys who were TWIN brothers in their past lives to be romantically involved? come on now.

Here he says that he and Sasuke aren’t true brothers, which means that they’re not actually related despite being reincarnated from brothers.. Which again, to my knowledge, if you’re reincarnated from brothers you’d still be brothers… But he says that they’re not…

This is flawed on so many levels, as I’ve already explained how reincarnation works in both Naruto and Japanese beliefs they are SOUL brothers. If your soul was reincarnated into a new body, and your brother or sisters soul was reincarnated into another body, would you want your reincarnates in a romantic relationship with eachother? I know I wouldnt, because as shown in Naruto Indra and Ashura are still very much conscious inside them, which means they are AWARE of whats happening, they just dont have control over them.

Even if they WERENT conscious its irrelevant, because the core issue is that they are THERE and they are BROTHERS, this is not incest in a physical sense, but in a spiritual sense this is very much an incetuous ship as they share both body and soul, that is still VERY problematic because they are STILL brothers, not by blood, but by soul.

While Naruto does say that he sees Sasuke as a brother several times, it doesn’t seem like that at all… To me it seems more like a crush that he doesn’t realize he has, or a crush he isn’t ready to believe he has…

Thats all speculation and how you choose to perceive things, but there is beyond enough evidence that proves it wrong which I’ll go more in depth in another post I’ll link back to here. But honestly theres not only tons of evidence that proves it wrong, theres literally nothing anywhere in canon that suggests romantic feelings between them in the first place. Thats a fact not an opinion.

Want my more condensed version of why NaruSasu are brothers refer to my twitter thread here

But just to add one of my points here, which is the other biggest reason NaruSasu is problematic, is that they are ACTUAL brothers.

I know right? I just said their not Indra and Ashura and are their own person how are they brothers? simple, thats true only for the show, however theres one other key factor that makes any argument you try to pull from the show for WHY their not brothers null and void. Which is that they are brothers by DESIGN.

Unfortunately the link is no longer available but this persons summary is pretty much what Kishimoto said. And the one above it is an actual sceenshot from when the site was still up.

From the beginning they were modeled after two real life brothers, Kishimoto and his twin brother Seishi, that was always the INTENT when making Naruto and Sasuke’s bond, so regardless of if their brothers by blood, by soul, or by bond, they are brothers by design, theres not a single argument you can come up with that’ll change that.

So in conclusion, yes, Sasuke and Naruto are real brothers by design, so for some people to call it incest is not far from the truth, because to ship Naruto and Sasuke your essentially shipping Kishimoto and his Twin brother.

I didnt wanna make this too long, so I focused on just the reincarnation aspect as that was the main point of the argument, and saved the other stuff about their relationship for another post so there wouldnt have to be a ton of scrolling on one post. But honestly? I think this post sums it up pretty well on WHY shipping this is problematic, you dont HAVE to stop shipping it if you dont want to, Im just pointing out why saying they are not brothers is factually incorrect.

[a-crimson-lion]

Katsuki Bakugo And Minoru Mineta Are Funny For All The Wrong Reasons

In this essay I will

No, but seriously, this is a problem. Spoilers and all that jazz. Let's start with the obvious.

Minoru Mineta

Minoru is the poster child for this topic. He's a complete scumbag, but is kept around because he's funny, when in reality he'd probably be expelled somewhere down the line.

While he does have some funny moments, there's only a small amount that don't come from his perversions, which is highly concerning.

His brand of humor isn't particularly inspired either. Let's go through some of his moments.

Hero Costumes

Minoru flashes his thumbs up when he looks at Ochako's uniform, stating that he loves the school. This is less funny and more unsettling, but it gets a pass 'cause Minoru is still relatively new to viewers.

USJ

Minoru grapples onto Tsuyu's breasts twice. He gets dunked on the first time. He gets nearly drowned the second time. We laugh... but it's not because Minoru is funny. Seriously, dark humor is one thing, but Minoru's actions are just plain creepy and borderline sexual harrassment. The fact that he nearly has to die to get us laughing doesn't help matters (he's scum, but scum should face long lasting consequences, not temporary bouts of comedic violence).

Changing Rooms

Almost forgot about this one. Minoru tries to peep on the girls. Kyoka notices and skewers his eye. We laugh. Not because Minoru's funny, but because we're suppose to enjoy his suffering. Imagine if everyone DIDN'T bash him upside the head! (There would probably be content apathy if there wasn't at least a small outcry for reprimands, to be honest.)

Obstacle Course

Minoru clasps onto Momo's gym uniform to pass the Obstacle Course, and he has a nosebleed. Momo calls him the worst. Again, relying on the fact that "Minoru sux" in order to get a laugh. That's sad.

Class Rankings

Mina says it best: guys like Minoru are only endearing when they're stupid, or something along those lines. If they're stupid, that lowkey implies that he has the potential to learn better. But Minoru already knows a lot, which os MORE unsettling than the alternative. Now, common sense doesn't equal intelligence, but the fact that Minoru is considered smart when he continually makes the stupid decision to try and get some in horrible ways is just... the worst.

Swimming Pool

Minoru and Denki collaborate on getting a view of the girls in swimsuits. (Before you bring it up, yes, Denki is also a perv character, but unlike Minoru, he actually has more going for his personality instead of just having a running gag joke define 90% of his character. And the most Denki's done on his own is attempting (and failing) to flirt with other girls.) Denki and Minoru are shocked when the rest of the boys show up, and Denki is disheartened to find that the girls are wearing school-issued swimsuits. Minoru, of course, finds the scene nice nonetheless. This is less of a "HAHA!" moment and more of a "*groan*" moment.

Hot Springs

Minoru tries to violate the girls' privacy just so he can see them naked. Luckily Kota is there to stop him. He swats Minoru off the wall, leading him to fall pathetically back to Earth. And we never speak of it again. You see a pattern with his stunts yet? Also, Tenya did not deserve what he got at the end of that scene.

Provisional License Exam

Granted, this is where Minoru is at his least perverted, but he still finds a way to be annoying. "The hierarchy is falling!" Oh gee, it's not like you had a tragic backstory and underwent actual character growth which helped you grow as a person, Minoru. You being smug is doing nothing to help your character.

Before The Interview

In the anime exclusive season premiere of Season 4, Minoru starts creepily talking about a potential female reporters breasts, before he gets restrained by Mr. Aizawa. While most of us thank him for stopping the pervert's actions, keep in mind that this is the one of the few times Mr. Aizawa ever tries to actually do anything to curb Minoru's behavior. Then again, since Horikoshi likes Minoru and Katsuki, they basically get immunity from Mr. Aizawa's actual character.

Joint Training Arc Aftermath

Sometime during the JTA, Minoru ricochets off of Mina's chest. Mina (rightfully) calls him out at this, and we're later treated to a scene with Minoru in a straightjacket with his eyes forced open while Mina keeps an eye on him. Physical punishment will do nothing to Minoru; at this rate he'll develop an immunity. What he needs are concrete consequences that will actually get him to think about not being perverted.

Izuocha Reaction

This moment is... admittedly tame. After Izuku and Ochako share a fist bump in Chapter 256, Minoru makes this weird gremlin face while asking himself what's going on. It's harmless at first... until you remember that Minoru is a shameless pervert who has a vain physical infatuation with most girls, Ochako inclued. Minoru's reaction is basically an entitled Lv. 1 gamer looking at an experienced Lv. 50 and going, "Why the hell isn't that me?"

Of course, there are other moments where Minoru is perverted, but it isn't funny, a la he hopes to see Eri again in 10 years or something like that. I've heard he's been mellowing out a bit more in recent chapters, but I'll remain cautiously optimistic for now. The fact that his main shtick is that we should despise him, and therefore laugh at his karma, is... kinda sad. That type of thing could work for a villain or a really unlikable character, but the fact that Minoru is a supporting character who we see progress with his classmates with very little growth in his character? What a waste... Moving on, then.

Katsuki Bakugo

Ah, King Explosion Murder. Most of you will know how I despise him. And unfortunately, part of the reason is similar to why I don't like Minoru:

His AnGeRy BoI tantrums get old really quick. Let me explain.

Catchphrases

"DIE!" "I'LL KILL YOU!" "EXTRA!" If you've been paying attention to Katsuki, he says these things s lot. He's been letting go of "extra" recently, but he'll still spew the first two comments without hesitation. He probably doesn't mean it literally, but that doesn't warrant his excessive aggression. It's one of the worst character traits I've seen in a while to be honest, and it's heavily concerning that a 15 (now 16) year-old has this kind of mindset. The fact that it's played for laughs ("DIE!" or "GO TO HELL!" while Izuku states deadpan off to the side) isn't any more assuring.

Gremlin Face

Katsuki will do this for a multitude of reasons. His base appearance treads a fine line between pretty boy and disgruntled madman, but when Katsuki gets more pissed then usual, he goes full gremlin. The faces are somewhat funny out of context, but they're kind of petty in context.

Bus Ride

The kids call out Katsuki on the bus ride to the USJ. This is basically a way to tell the readers that Katsuki isn't much of a big shot anymore, but the fact that it ultimately holds no water later down the line is... disappointing. Within several chapters, people will be flocking to him, regardless of his garbage personality.

Eijiro's Analysis

Eijiro brings up how Katsuki should be all "DIE! DIE! DIE!" while they're fighting villains, to which Katsuki ironically responds in kind. It's a "Bakugo sux LOL" moment, but the fact that this is how likely most students see him and they STILL flock to him is just... wut? Plus, Eijiro was originally skeptical of Katsuki after the Battle Trial, and his sudden support of Katsuki here is... half-heartedly executed. And while Katsuki has shown that he treasures the relationship he has with Eijiro to a degree, it's pretty clear that Eijiro holds it in a much higher regard.

Less Than The Best

Gremlin face returns when Katsuki gets 3rd (and therefore not 1st) in the Sports Festival's Obstacle Course. Katsuki screams when he gets 2nd (and therefore not 1st) in the Cavalry Battle. It's "funny" now, but I fear for the day when this guy has to regularly do interviews and doesn't get the Number One Hero spot for the first few months (if he ever gets it at all).

Sore Winner

This is probably the one joke I can say is the least funny. Everybody remembers the whole Katsuki in bindings and acting like an animal bit, right? Yeah, no one is sane in this universe... And even if Katsuki's desire to reject the first place medal is understandable, he isn't exactly cordial about the whole thing (I mean, I'd be miffed if someone had be bound like that, but I doubt more growling is gonna get him out... the teachers need help). And then we still see him with the medal in his mouth sometime later, and Gremlin face show up when the class is talking internships. Where's the therapist again?

Teeth

Katsuki telling the germs in his mouth to die as he's brushing his teeth. It's only funny because of the absurdity of the notion. In reality, telling microscopic organisms to straight up die in such a threatening manner is hella concerning. See "Catchphrases" for why I still don't think this is okay.

Knife

One of the more tame jokes. Katsuki's good with knives, Ochako brings it up, Katsuki is offended. Honestly, I'd prefer more of this type of humor compared to... whatever Katsuki's doing right now.

I'll Kill Him

It's an exam, Katsuki, AN EXAM! This moment during the Provisional License Exam is only funny for a moment, because when you think about it, the purple dude has a point (even if he's still a stuck-up elitist) and Katsuki would have failed if Eijiro and Denki didn't follow after him. Still, does he think he can get away with saying he'll kill villains in the actual Hero world? Good gravy...

Stop Being Nice

This is a trend we've seen post-Deku vs. Kacchan 2. Izuku complements Katsuki or makes a remark about him. Katsuki proceeds to tell him to back off in some or fashion. If it's his winter costume, Katsuki will chew the speech bubble. He'll reflexively tell Izuku to get out of his way. When Izuku mentions Katsuki's technique, Katsuki will tell Izuku to stay away from him. I know some of Izuku's habits are borderline-stalking, but he's not being overtly creepy. And in a narrative where Izuku and Katsuki are supposed to be "good friends," this does a poor job of showing it.

Ninja Star

Katsuki looses his temper when Izuku brings up Blackwhip, and throws one of his head pieces at Izuku like a ninja star. Izuku gets injured, but the entire thing is played off like a nice joke. Except it isn't. Izuku wasn't about to spill anything about OFA when he talked about Black Whip; Katsuki's just stupidly jealous and annoyed when anyone like Izuku talks for too long about their achievements. It's basically telling readers that Izuku's gonna get shoved around for having pride in himself. That sucks...

I Win

The latest incarnation of Gremlin face, and Katsuki's stupid winner's complex in general. I've already talked about it in this post, but Katsuki's assertions in Chapter 257 were highly immature and disrespectful. All Might tells the boys about the OFA users and their short lives, how they weren't chosen ones but were still entrusted with the Quirk, hoping to pass it on and hoping to beat AFO. What does Katsuki say about them? They had lame Quirks; they were a bunch of nobodies. He goes out of his way to tell Izuku he'll lag behind while mastering the next Quirk while Katsuki ensures his victory. All if that "character development" and he still pulls stuff like this. How do I put this?

A few steps forward followed by long periods of regression is not character development, that's bad writing.

Katsuki's seemingly humorous outbursts would be terrifying in the real world. He's got serious issues and he needs help. His anger is no laughing matter. It'll hurt him, or rather, continue to hurt him. It's already hurt other people, and continues to do so.

TL;DR Katsuki and Minoru's one note humor is damaging to the narrative and to their characters, and unless it's properly addressed, it will continue to do so. Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (19 January 2020)

[vanikolya]

hello! can i request a matchup (male characters) for bungou stray dogs & assassination classroom if that's okay? thank you 💕

― i’m a female and a grey asexual!

― appearance-wise, i’m 165cm (5’4"), asian, with shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes! i don’t like wearing dresses, often times i’m wearing long sleeves paired with shorts or jeans.

― personality-wise, i can be cold and really blunt at first and i don’t let people in easily bc trust issues™ at the rare times people actually succeed in making me their friend, i’m a bit chaotic. i’m a rational person (which sometimes offend others??), but i can be very childish at times. i have pretty dry and dark humor, and i love making sarcastic comebacks. it’s literally second nature at this point. i’m a vv moody & have a short temper. people say i’m iNtElLiGeNt, and so naturally, i’m the person my classmates go to for academic help, despite being super harsh when they get something wrong. (i can’t help it bc what i teach them usually seems easy to me ;-;"). and sometimes i’m just so done with everyone’s shit that i don’t care about anything HHHHH it’s like i have two separate personalities??

― i like horror, psychological thrillers, action & action comedies. i’m very interested in psychology & pathology, and i want to be a psychologist or a forensic psychologist one day. i love spicy food and have a sweet tooth! (ill eat literally ANYTHING sweet) i also prefer working alone than in groups, bc i do better alone. i love foxes & cats too! (i have a cat named ginger eEEE) i also really love collecting stationery!!

― i hate crowds & socializing. i’d prefer staying in and binge watching anime or movies! despite being the person people come to for academic help, i absolutely hate studying and rarely ever do study.

― my hobbies are writing, drawing, playing the piano, violin & guitar and singing! at a young age i’ve been taught how to play those instruments, but i’m only really good at piano. the life of an asian lol

this is rly long omg- anyways, thank you!!

{i hope this is alright! it’s my first time doing a matchup ^^; i hope you enjoy! i wrote them in a headcanon format since that’s what i’m most comfortable with, hope you don’t mind that! - s}

i ship you with...

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  RANPO EDOGAWA  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

at first, ranpo finds your bluntness interesting; he isn’t going to push you just for the sake of figuring you out, but he can tell there’s something more to you than your cold attitude

completely understands you getting annoyed when your classmates ask you for help and get it wrong, he feels similarly whenever he has to explain the reasoning behind his deductions, and when his clients don’t understand him

he loves that you’re both chaotic/childish and also rational, as he understands that sometimes life really does call for being serious, but downtime is still precious to him and he’s glad he can have someone to relax with outside of his work/the agency

supportive of your dream to become a psychologist, he definitely knows you’re smart enough for it. if anyone tries to convince you to do something else even if you don’t want to, he’ll honestly just like, complain about them to you but he’ll do it in front of them to put them off the subject. he also thinks the idea of being with a forensic psychologist would be interesting, but not in a kind of way where he’d be dissatisfied if you chose to do anything else

stubbornly possessive of his own sweets and sweet stash, but honestly doesn’t mind sharing with you or letting you take some, just as long as you replace anything you’ve taken for yourself

ngl i hc that he loves cats too, if the two of you were to move in together at all but ginger stayed at your family home he would be constantly, cheekily asking to see them, but if ginger moves in too he is chuffed

thinks it’s super endearing that you like to collect stationary, though he doesn’t particularly understand why you love it so much. doesn’t mean he’s not going to buy or ask yosano to buy things for you if he ever spots little stationary things like stickers or memos that he thinks you might like

prefers to stay inside with you anyway, most if not all dates planned by him consist of things like movie nights or playing games inside. if you do want to go outside somewhere though, on occasion, it isn’t a problem with him but it doesn’t change his preference considering he struggles to do certain things without using his ability

isn’t going to pressure you into singing/playing for him when he figures out you can but i feel like he’d enjoy it if you did, even if you’re not specifically playing for him, just practicing, he still likes to listen to you

he’d ask you in a cheeky/childish way, like “not to be cheekyyy, but can you play/sing for meee”

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  KARMA AKABANE  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

teases you for your height, but in a kind of “aww, you’re so small, so cute” way, even though you’re only about a head shorter than him. he’ll stop if you ask him seriously enough but until you do he’s just going to assume that you don’t mind it

treats you the same way as he would with anyone else in the class, until he gets to know you and sees that you aren’t entirely as cold and blunt as you were letting on

he likes getting on your nerves to a certain extent, only ever really driving you to a “i love you but if you don’t shut up-” kind of mood, not too much to really set off your temper and make you mad at him. he finds it fun to bounce off your sarcasm with his own, either to tease you or someone else

willing to help you out with your classmates if they ever come to you for help, after all he has some of the highest grades in class if not the highest, so he’s capable of helping. however, he’s similar to you, he’s harsh and gets a little agitated if someone fails to understand something that’s so easy for him

similar film tastes, his favorite genres are action & action comedies. he gets surprisingly into discussing films with you. if there’s a new film coming out that you both want to watch and he ends up seeing it before you, he might joke about telling you spoilers but he wouldn’t actually ruin the film for you, because it would annoy is sm if someone did that to him

honestly not too fussed about what your dream job is and what you’re aiming for, that’s your business, just as long as your happy. if you need help with it though, he’ll take an interest and try to help as he knows it’s something that’s going to make you happy

he’s fine with either going outside or staying in with you, he prefers to go out but isn’t going to pressure you to. sometimes he sees spending time inside with you as special even if you’re just watching anime, it’s more private

if you do go out though he’ll try avoiding crowded areas with you, whilst also trying not to make it obvious that he’s doing it ig

he’s never particularly been interested in creative things like writing, drawing, and music; his strong points in class being more maths and science; so anything you make or play is honestly amazing to him especially since he has nothing like his own experience to compare it to (if that makes sense-- sorry for the personal comment aha but like ig it’s similar to if you’re drawing and you don’t like it but someone who doesn’t draw will think it’s great)

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Season 2 Shenanigans

AHEYYY sO I went on a giant Knight Rider binge the last few days, and I've FINALLY seen all of Season 2!!  Big thank you to @trust-doesnt-oxidize who watched with me and stayed up absurdly late because I wanted to see Garthe before I went to bed AIDBWJFNEM

I just wanted to post a quick reaction to all of the episodes, spoiler warning activated!

Goliath Parts 1 & 2

I LOVE MY DOOFY VILLAIN SON. K.I.T.T. is HILARIOUS, I love his dynamic with Goliath, as is evident by my handle oops- I hate how Season 2 starts with my son almost dying tho, almost had a heart attack tyvm! This is back before I knew anything about the direction of the rest of the series so I was legitimately in shock lmbo- Moustache Michael is a gem tho I love him. I SURE HOPE HE STAYS A DUMB VILLAIN WHO'S JUST REALLY SILLY TO WATCH. SURE HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE HIM TOO SERIOUSLY.

Brother's Keeper - Blind Spot

I- forgot that these episodes existed until I looked at the episode list for this, soooo...

I should really not be lazy and look up an episode summary and try to remember what I thought of these but the problem is that I am in fact going to be lazy because this post is already taking so long

Return to Cadiz

This episode is so,,, frustrating.  Not the plot or the format or anything like that, nono... I mean how they essentially introduced April.  Like, okay, I know that she has been here since the beginning of Season 2, but she hadn’t really said much up until now.  This was where we really got to know who she would be, and, uh... After this episode, I absolutely hated her.  Despised even.  She forces my son to go drive on the same ocean on the same beach where Karr DIED without any testing beforehand AND is chastising Michael in a flirtatious way.  The heCK is this woman?!  WHERE’S MY BONNIE???!!!  I was so mad at her you guys I.  But the thing is, I don’t hate April, not by a long shot.  In some ways, the rest of Season 2 does a better job giving her a character than all of Season 1 did for Bonnie!  I really enjoyed April and wish that both could have stayed.  BUT THIS EPISODE makes her SO HATEABLE and I just ugh.

also I tried to watch this a long time before I got to and after seeing the intro and not knowing the title of K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. at that point in time, I thought Karr was gonna come back based on all the panoramic shots of the underwater and I am so sad that he didn’t so oops this episode gets my wrath a bit

K.I.T.T. the Cat

0/10 there are no cats.  False advertising.

Seriously tho this episode was a pretty run of the mill episode.  The best part of the episode was Kitt, because it always is, but seriously that guy with the hedges was amazing- I GOT THE GAG BY THE THIRD TIME IT HAPPENED BUT THE FIRST TIME HE GOT STUCK IN THE TREE OH MY GOSH I WAS DY I N G- Also the fact that Kitt messed him up again trying to apologize is so sad yet funny ahosihdfiohasdf

Custom K.I.T.T.

APRIL GET THAT STUPID DECAL OFF HIM OH MY G O S H-

Somehow her 2-d design ideas looked almost worse than the actual thing and I thought the actual thing looked like a that default sticker decal that you get on a Hotwheels car.  I’msorryI’mnottryingtoroastanyartistsIjust I why there’s so much potential with giving Kitt decals :(

Seriously I want to use my drawing software to draw fire on Kitt at some point because it could be done so cool and that ain’t it chief.  I’m probably not going to be too great at it either since I don’t do backgrounds nearly enough and fire would be a background element for the most part but I could at least alter the colors ; m ;  OR LIGHTNING OH MY GOSH AAA LIGHTNING WOULD BE SO COO L ON HIM-  anyway it needed so much more red- and it was so asymmetrical too aHHHH-

I.  I’m fine it’s fine I’m fine it’s fi-

I don’t even know why Kitt needed a decal anyway, the other cars didn’t have to have decals to be considered custom, surely his dash alone could have done it-

ANYWAY

This ep was so WEIRD at times oh my gosh.  What was that series of insults the two ladies spat at each other?  Like the one just complimented her eyeshadow aggressively and the other one accused her of wearing “training bras” or something like whAT EXCU S E ME What is this episode?!  Kitt was so upset about the decal too :[

Soul Survivor

OH MY GOSH IT’S CUTE IT’S SO CUTE YOU GUYS-

I was recalling @knight-rider-fan-2000‘s theory about this episode (plz go check them out btw aaaa), and after watching it I totally agree.  Michael was especially kind in this episode, and he seems to be overall a more supportive mentor for Kitt this season, starting with Soul Survivor and being pretty consistent throughout.  I love their new dynamic so much- There’s definitely still episodes and moments where he’s closer to Season 1 Michael, but Season 2 Michael is a far superior human being in my opinion.

KITT’S SO ADORABLE LIL TINY CPU OH MY G O S H YOU’RE TELLING ME OUR SON IS ACTUALLY T H A T SMALL AAAAA

Michael really is so sweet in this oh my gosh, that whole arc where Kitt is his partner no matter what and that the car isn’t what made Kitt-- AW!!!!  ADORABLE!  Kitt being so unsure that he repeatedly asks Michael how it feels to see the Knight 2000 without him in it or fusses about his limited functionality as Michael patiently reassures him again and again that he’s wanted just the way he is, I just- Feelings.

One thing that hit me as funny though is when Michael finds Kitt’s CPU in the garage and the trash can is just like PULSATING and then he like yells at it like “tAlK tO mE kItT” and Kitt’s jus sitting there as a box of colored lights like “...”

I can just imagine a cut scene where Kitt’s like, “Oh and by the way Michael, if I could have said something I would have done so LONG before you started asking me to.  Believe it or not, I don’t like being in a trash can.”

“You Dingaling.”

Also Michael and his whole “I’m an honest man you can trust me listen I’ll give you a small TV just like this one” and then he proceeded to not do that.  Hmm.

Anyway, yeah, it doesn’t get any cuter than this.  The only thing that would have been better is if Adrianne didn’t exist.  Good thing she’s gone now~!

Ring of Fire

THIS IS SO TRIPPY THIS EPISODE IS SO TRIPPY

I would say that I hate Michael trying to get Kitt to subject himself to testing if he can withstand insane levels of heat.  I would say that if April did not then walk in and karma the crap out of him.  Gosh I loved it.  How he immediately was like whAT NOOO YOU WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE DO THAT and Kitt’s just like :/

dang hypocrite, Michael my feelings towards you are so complicated sometimes

anyway

So. Many. Dogs.  I usually love seeing Kitt interact with dogs but this started to get unsettling, I can’t blame him for not loving 6 different dogs all swarming him at once whAT- Have they nothing better to do than to jump on my son.  What the heck language were those banjo players singing in?  Was it a language or was it just gibberish keyboard spam that accidentally made it to the final script AOSHDIAOHSD

This whole swamp setting is really unique to this episode, and part of me really does commend the chance they took by switching up settings.  It’s almost always a small town on desert roads.  The way this all happened though was??? What?

I think the scriptwriters forgot that Return to Cadiz exists because Kitt got so much water damage AHSIDHAOISDH- I know April said the system was damaged but surely it would have minimized this a little bit.  Also did literally anything change by the end of this episode?  We didn’t see the guy get arrested, did we?  And the girl decided to stay living out in the swamp forest thing.  The only thing is that she, like, conquered her fear or something?  Even though she still isn’t acting in that direction?

This episode didn’t actually d o anything did it LOL

alsowhatevenwasthatexplosion

It’s not a bad episode though, just really bizarre.

Knightmares

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID ABOUT IT NOT GETTING ANY CUTER?

I WAS WRONG.

THIS EPISODE this episode THIS EPISODE.  TOP TWO MATERIAL?  MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK.  TDR will always be my fav until the end of time I’m pretty sure because I don’t think another episode will get me to ugly sob like that (aLTHOUGH I AM MEGA HYPE HERE BECAUSE I WATCHED KvK AND IT WAS GOOD ALSO BUT WE’LL GET TO TH A T LATER) but in terms of sheer adorable buddies happiness this is the winner by all accounts.  I really like how they portray Michael Long, and I genuinely think the arc here has an impact on the rest of the season in terms of how Michael treats Kitt.

I love how Michael had told Kitt a long time ago how they were partners, like how he used to have a partner when he was a police officer, and how now when Long is so confused about everything everyone is trying to tell him, Kitt chooses this specific word to help introduce himself, and everything feels a bit more grounded for Long.  I love how Long immediately revolts against the way Devon and April try to tell him he’s wrong about who he is currently, which is, despite good intentions, the opposite of what he needs.  I love how Kitt then swoops in behind him and decides to treat Michael Long like a WHOLE NEW PERSON, one who Kitt tries to get to know.  I love how Long recognizes just how hard Kitt is trying and genuinely opens up to him.  I love how he never reverts to being mean or rude to Kitt after he gets in the car the second time, NOT EVEN ONE sarcastic comment.  How he never calls him a computer again after Kitt asks him not to, how he compliments his new partner left and right, how despite having no clue who Knight is he really wants to be that person for Kitt, because Kitt seems sincere and pretty great.  I adore that bit where Kitt gently, lovingly lists traits good and bad about Knight and how Long can finally connect to this other version of himself.

“One more thing about Michael Knight.”

“What’s that?”

“I was extremely fond of him”

I love how Long starts saying “Good work, Kitt” after they complete parts of their mission and how Knight does not stop this for the rest of the season, even after he regains his memory.  I love so much about this and could frankly talk about it even more than this but this is a brief summary so.  So yeah, we’re moving on ;W;

Silent Knight

It’s funny so.  I didn’t realize that Knight Rider had done any Christmas specials.  I knew about the Halloween specials, but I didn’t realize the Christmas special existed.  And so I was laughing at how funnee I was while I was like “SILENT KNIGHT HOLY KNIGHT ALL IS COME-” and then that’s exactly what the pun was meant to be.  they done bamboozled me.

ANYWAY THIS MIGHT BE THE STRANGEST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TO EVER EXIST EVER.

They kept mentioning the Christmas banquet thing to make it mildly related to the season but then it wasn’t, it really wasn’t, it all revolved around clowns.  There was.  There was a Santa I guess.  Albeit a bank robber Santa--

And the kid is juuust obnoxious at first, I love how Kitt absolutely hates him immediately for some reason even though Kitt usually doesn’t hate people unless they do something really bad, but it feels so deserved because the kid is a jeeerk.  Maybe it’s because the kid accused him of endangering human life and that Hurt?

Kid: Just let me drive and I’ll throw away this dumb clock thing

Michael: No

Kitt: YES

Michael: W H A T ?!

Kitt: YES

Michael: ugh whatever

I was kind of expecting Kitt to pull some sort of shenanigans while the kid was driving as payback for whatever he absolutely despised him for, but Kitt was actually just really sweet and gave him a bit of freedom until he started endangering himself and then helped him get back into control.  Very wholesome.

AND the end was CUTE though, like the boy who had previously been a jerk going over and patting Kitt and being just sincerely nice to him ;w; wholesome

A Knight in Shining Armor

Gosh I always forget what this episode is about because the title is so loosely related LOL

The dynamic with Michael and the girl of the week was actually really cute and chemistry was not entirely nonexistant, so that’s a nice change from some of these that come out of nowhere.  Her arc was actually pretty sweet, how she resented technology because she wanted to be loved and cared about, how she thought computers were incapable of doing that until she talked to Kitt...

And the cave was prebby.

But why couldn’t she understand that her DAD was in PRISON.

“Why didn’t he ever come to see me?” “Because he was in Jail.” “oh.  But why didn’t he call???”

Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend

SOMEONE

AHAHA

SOMEONE CALLED MICHAEL

AHAHA

BERNIE CALLED HIM A DINGALING. Speaking of Bernie, all I could think this whole episode was

White-Line Warriors

LONG-LEGGED PUNK-

Seriously idk what this season’s love affair with the baddies picking on Michael but I love it.

Honestly the twist of this episode was really interesting, I still don’t fully get how the baddies’ plan comes together though.  So the song plays on the radio and the police go to investigate the drag racers and the crims are IMMEDIATELY ready?  okay then.

Radio announcer Kitt tho.  That is blessed.

I want Radio Announcer Kitt.  Then again, I just want more Kitt in general so.

Race for Life

INHALE

Y’ALL ARE REAAALLY TRYING TO MAKE ME DETHRONE KNIGHTMARES AS THE CUTEST, AREN’T YOU?

Well ha, joke’s on you episode, you’re getting docked points for only giving Kitt and Becky two interactions.  And for making the donor obnoxious for most of the episode (although that end scene was pretty adorable).  So, okay, second cutest.

THE WAY KITT WAVED I-

HE IS SO CUTE

he is so cute.

Devon was really sweet this episode, not gonna lie.  I’m not sure if I’ve said it on this blog before, but I had strong dislike for Devon after Season 1.  I can explain that later if anyone wants, I’d be perfectly willing to compare the two seasons, but Season 2 Devon is pretty alright.  He doesn’t have much of a presence, but when he does, he’s kind.  I’m assuming he let Becky win at checkers, in which case uh, aW?!  Devon that’s cute.

KITT TRYING TO TEACH THE TEN YEAR OLD CHESS AHSIODHOAISD I LOVE YOU BUDDY

Also, I feel like this is the episode April really became her own character, separate from Cadiz.  She’d kind of just been a slightly perkier Bonnie, but now we get to see her family, her concerns... And April’s a pretty good character.

OH AND THE WHOLE “Kitt is family” ARC IS THE SWEETEST THING ASHDHAOSDohIAD

“Julio, meet Kitt.  He’s part of the family”

“Thank you, Michael.”

MY.  HEART.

Speed Demons

Okay so.  This is another one of those episodes where very little seemed to change by the end of the episode.  The guy who was actually in danger quit motorcycling anyway soooo...  The episode plot itself isn’t what I feel like talking about.

What was WITH that one announcer guy?  Were we meant to like him or not???  First he tries to Kick the Kitt and Kitt’s like :/ whatever

and then he comes back and they start to have like, a deep conversation, and he lovingly pats the hood before walking away.  And we’re like AWWW OKAY THIS GUY IS NOT TO BAD

AND THEN he asks Kitt to talk for someone and Kitt’s like “...” and the guy riots.  Why did Kitt not talk for him and why did the guy go so absolutely bonkers when he didn’t?  Were the cameras rolling and I just didn’t realize?  And then we kind of hate the guy again because he once again absolutely went ballistic at Kitt.  “That’s Showbiz.”

But then the dynamic with that coworker keeps coming up, and yeah, I guess she does seem a bit annoying.  But she also seems like a potential lady of the week and a potential protagonist.  So when she gets splashed with mud or whatever that was and the guys all like :D

What are we meant to be feeling?

Are we meant to feel bad for her or happy for him?

Because I just felt confused.

Goliath Returns 1 & 2

GOSH DARNIT ADRIANNE IS BACK

ALSO I-I-I I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A DOOFY AND STUPID VILLAIN JUST P L E A S E STOP ; M ;

SERIOUSLY WHEN DID GARTHE TURN FULL PSYCHOPATH-

THE FEELING I GOT REMINDED ME OF WATCHING THE SHERLOCK FINALE.  S H E R L O C K  F I N A L E.

Sigh, I should have known he’d gone off the deep end when he walked into a hot tub with jeans on.

I will forever be mad at some versions coughincludingtheoneIwaswatchingoncough for cutting out the fact that Kitt’s microchip was almost ENTIRELY WIPED/OVERWRITTEN AND PUT INTO GOLIATH.  Because uh, the way the show cut it up for TV, it seems like Kitt’s really in no danger other than being annoyed.  But no, literally everyone almost dies.  Fun times!

Seriously why did this convoluted garbage get a two-parter but Kitt vs. Karr didn’t?

This episode makes me sad.  Not just because Garthe tried, and almost succeeded, to take away everything we love in this show.  Not just because this episode strayed far enough from the typical formula for this to seem like some dystopian nightmare version of Knight Rider. Not just because freaking Adrianne is back.

I mean because I loved Garthe’s character, and this totally changed it.  I like that they went into Garthe’s trauma a bit more with this one, but unlike some villains in the Knight Rider canon (okay let’s not play games, UNLIKE KARR-), what he does is so dastardly, SO insaNE, that there is no way to argue that he might be justified.  No.  No.  Garthe, Adrianne, and Goliath are gone now, and that’s how it had to be.

OH ALSO GO O F F APRIL YES QUEEN I LOVE YOU- I honestly felt so bad for her when she turned around and broke down right after standing up to him, like dang, that hurts.  And Devon was sweet in this episode too ;w;

Okay but were they planning on making another episode of this?  Because that end scene was such an obvious teaser it’s not even funny.

“I hope we don’t run into those very much drowned people out in the streets again, Michael.  And I especially hope that they do not construct another semitrailer with the exact same scale and name as the previous one that was driven into the ocean.”

“Yes, I agree Kitt, this is also an anxiety that I possess despite the fact that they are very much definitely Deceased.  I sure hope that plot convenience does not interfere in the future.”

THANK GOODNESS THAT ADRIANNE IS GONE

wait what?  her actress is in another episode as another character who’s just as awful? wHYYYYYY

A Good Knight's Work

THAT BEAR NEEDS TO DIE. I am so glad Michael ejected the dumb thing at the end, Kitt deserved it. Especially after Michael essentially told him to temporarily kill himself. Michael's a cyberbully now ig. The arc with Kitt and the car salesman was cute. Apparently deactivation is considered programming now? Michael my mans you could have given Kitt any warning at all (I kind of take this back after one of the Season 3 episodes I’ve watched uHHHH this was a lot of warning compared to how Michael rolls in S3 what the heck is wrong with him). Cute episode overall tho I guess. ALSO I JUST NOW REALIZED "A GOOD KNIGHT'S WORK" IS A PUN BECAUSE KITT IS WILTON KNIGHT'S WORK AND I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT NOTICING IT SOONER-

Mouth of the Snake and that other garbage one that's title makes no sense

David might as well be a plank of wood. A plank of wood that yeets himself ten feet into the air whenever possible, but I digress. Does this count as superpowers? I just love how he offended Kitt 0.1 seconds after meeting him and then Michael proceeded to tell Kitt off for reacting. Love that soooo much. It's also hilarious to me how most of this episode has a similar structure to most Knight Rider episodes and then they randomly start reacreating the Most Dangerous Game--

Let it Be Me

Why isn't this the season finale?! I mean, I'm glad it's not, but why? This is way worse than White Bird like why- I feel like the Stevie episodes are kind of a controversy in this fandom? I loved the first one. This one's just, blegh it's okay. She and Michael still have pretty great chemistry WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING IN REGULAR SPEECH. I do not like Stevie singing the same song with Michael 100 times. The duet at the end is kind of cute though, sue me I like corny things.

Stevie: I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have been with this one guy but ;m;

Michael: has been with approximately 100 women by now

Also Michael: How could you ;m;

Big Iron

This episode is kinda wild. Why does the guy manage to have a full out breakup with Lucy in less than one minute? Why is Michael a marriage counselor now? Why couldn't Kitt take the oxygen out of the cabin when Michael was definitely going to die if he didn't?  Since when does Turbo Boost use a ton of oxygen anyway?  Why does this man just immediately make up with his wife after finding out that she helped him? And most of all, WHY DIDN'T THAT BARTENDER LADY ACT THE LEAST BIT CONCERNED WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY TORE UP THE PLACE??? Lmbo she's just like "Stop it guys :/"

It’s so bizarre that this is the season finale ahsdoifhasodf but go off I guess NBC

[kvngjoong]

she was a rainbow [two - lee felix]

→ felix lee x f!you, university!au, in which felix discovers that his feelings aren’t as easy to understand as he first may have thought → 5.4k+, pretty much all angst and unrequited love

part 2 of 3

“I actually met this guy?”

“This guy?” Felix repeats, unsure of what you mean. It sounded like a question you were posing to him, and Felix wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted in return.

Your blank stare means that the image of you with another guy beside you, hugging you, showing his love to you in every form, it’s pretty much on the right track. It wasn’t him who you’d met. It was a guy. “Yeah, you know. A guy.”

“Are you going to elaborate?” Felix’s irritation is clear through his properly enunciated syllables, each word clearly being presented to you. Luckily you don’t notice, likely because you’re thinking about whoever this guy is.

“Okay,” you reply with a wide smile. Felix feels bad for accidentally giving you permission to tell him about something he really doesn’t want to know about. He could listen to you talk for years, he could sit across from you and watch your pretty lips explain any topic picked out of a hat, though to tell him that the love he was feeling for you, even if he didn’t realise as of yet that it was love, that wasn’t something he could sit by. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”

Felix has always wondered what the future may hold.

He doesn’t consider himself someone who struggled to keep his head out of the clouds, but he was a dreamer and didn’t care too much for it. If his head wasn’t in a book about other worldly activities, he was playing a video game that was fantasy based, or he was imagining it as he stared into the distance and imagined a world that was oh so different to the one he lived in.

Not because he hated the world he lived in, oh no, Felix Lee lived a very good life that he enjoyed very very much. He had a strange group of friends that he had grown to like over the years, he felt that he was everything he wanted to be, and most importantly he was enjoying himself. It had been that way for a while, since he moved to South Korea and made friends with an equally small boy named Seungmin.

The pair were pretty much inseparable through school and that continued all the way into university, since they were now living together and continuing life like they always wanted to. Except, now they had the addition of a guy that Seungmin met in one of his classes named Jeongin. The boy who Felix swore was a descendant of Inari Okami, blame Seungmin’s anime for that reference, was a pretty good addition to make their dorm bills cheaper and the pair a trio.

Yet, Felix found himself so lost in a fantasy world because something was missing.

He never understood what it was, but he could feel from the very bottom of his soul that there was a part of him which he didn’t understand; he couldn’t grasp like he was meant to. The key to unlocking it could be found somewhere but he was yet to find it.

“Um… Excuse me?” a voice behind Felix pulls him from the daze he’s in, staring at the board with some fliers stuck to it as he waits for his class to be called in. He takes one of the earbuds from his ear. “Is this class on employment law?”

Felix raises a brow at the girl in front of him. You’re not too different in height than him, you have messy hair and a bright coloured striped top which is brighter than anything he’s ever owned. He’s definitely never seen you in a lecture. “No, this is clinical psychology.”

“Oh.”

“Do you study psychology?”

You shake your head. “I study international business. I thought this was the room. That’s what one of the guys said downstairs.”

Felix feels some pity for you. You must be a new student, judging from how you were lost in the building which was the least easy to get lost in. He remembers when he was new and found out that Seungmin would not be with him when he had his classes he went into a slight panic mode because he had a tendency to get lost easily, too. So he decides to help you out, being the kind of guy he is.

“Where were you supposed to be?” Felix asks you.

“Uh…” You pause to look down at your phone and squint a little, despite your glasses. Maybe they were fake. “It says D2.8. That’s here, right?”

Felix offers a sympathetic smile. “You’re in the wrong building.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s not too far…” Felix waits for a moment, realising that he would be murdered by his parents for ditching someone who needed some help. “I can take you there, if you like?”

He’d miss his class for helping someone out, no one in there talked to him anyway. Felix was talkative if he had people to talk to, but no one even wanted to sit next to him in there. There was a bundle of things Felix could complain about, but now he was helping you.

“I’m Felix, by the way.” He sticks out his hand for your to shake, earning a curious look from you. “Bit of a strange way to meet, huh?”

You smile softly at his joke. “Terrible way to meet. Now I’m going to be late and I’m making you late too. It’s terrible karma. I’m (Y/N).”

Cute name. Felix doesn’t know if it means anything special, but he repeats it a few times in his head because it sounds cute. Felix was a fan of name collecting, he liked hearing people’s names because names are the most personal thing someone can tell you. He remembers what Seungmin has told him about demonology and fairies too.

“Did you just move here?”

“To Korea?” you ask. Felix raises an eyebrow, considering that your Korean is almost perfect, you must be from somewhere in Korea. He can’t work out your accent. “Yeah, I did actually. My parents moved around a lot when I was younger but I wanted to come to Korea for university. I figured it would be cool to see.”

Felix hums. “Yeah, I get you. I lived in Australia for a while before my parents told me to come back here to study. I kinda wanted to meet all the family I never got to before. Are you liking Korea?”

“It’s beautiful here. Literally, I find myself walking around a lot because of how much there is to see. Probably will get me in some trouble one day, walking around a late at night. I don’t know if it’s as safe here as it was where I was from.”

“Well, if you need someone to walk with I’m always free,” Felix tells you with a smile. He may have accidentally started to flirt but it was definitely an accident because Felix couldn’t intentionally flirt to save his life. He just rolls with it; you’re cute and this must have been a sign.

Felix knew he was the world’s worst unintentional flirt. He didn’t mean to say the things he did but when they left his mouth and he was left staring at the face of someone who was realising that he was flirting with them, he felt worse about it than he should have. It just came out, it was natural for him.

And he realises that, with you, his flirting comes more often than he can account for.

The subtle problem of flirting with you becomes a bigger problem over time, since you’re not the girl that he walked to class when she was lost anymore, you end up becoming his friend over a shared number and sitting together in the library. Not that he studies. Felix sits opposite to Jeongin and Seungmin praying that you’ll show up and he can have some time away from dumb and dumber (self proclaimed).

There’s too many times he’s sat next to you listening to you ramble over whatever book you were reading or something that caught your attention, and he’ll absentmindedly pull his lip between his teeth as he listens to your speak. A habit that he can’t break, no matter what he tries to do.

Of anything he was appreciative to have a new friend. He had no idea how it happened. One day you were just texting since you offered to share your number and agreed to it, not yet knowing that you might have taken his walking offer as flirting, and the next you were getting lunch together and he was laughing at your jokes and expressing himself to you in a way he hadn’t quite done with anyone else.

“You just get me,” he tells you, looking across the table at you with wide eyes and a blank smile. He watches as you laugh off his comment and wishes you’d have taken it seriously, though plays along with your humour. “Like, we just understand each other.”

You hum, still amused by his expression. “Maybe it’s fate we were to meet then.”

Oh, it may just have been fate, but don’t tell Felix that. Since he loved those old style books, the ones from the Greek and Roman times, he was a big believer in your fate being decided before you were to ever have a say in it.

Any mention that fate was between you to would have had Felix shoving your key inside his lock, even if he knew it already didn’t match just by looking. Though he did check, and Felix was sure that you key was a perfect match for his lock.

Even if you were just friends.

Felix was starting to feel like that hole in his life was disappearing. He wasn’t looking to a future that didn’t exist to complete him. He didn’t even contemplate the idea of a fantasy world unless he was dreaming. His thoughts, his feelings, his memories; they were all falling down to you.

And the worst thing?

He’d only known you a matter of weeks.

It was all moving so fast for him and there was nothing that he could do about it. Felix had never experienced such a flurry of emotions which left his heart racing and eyes with hearts around them. Wasn’t it just a second ago you were lost in the building and he showed you to where you should be?

No, a second ago Felix was watching you as you told him about a show you were watching, and Felix had an unexplainable desire to kiss you. Because your lips looked soft. Because you probably tasted really nice. Because, over everything else, he wanted to have his hand in the back of your hair and feels your nails run over his skin.

Felix wasn’t experiencing imaginary feelings towards someone that he made up for the purposes of his own satisfaction. Not that he did that very much anyway. Felix just… had a story going on in his head where his life was perfect and everything went well for him.

Unfortunately life isn’t that simple, and it never would be for him.

Not with you around.

“I have something to tell you.”

Felix looks up from his laptop, surprised to hear your voice when you’d been so focused on the work you said you’d been doing. He knew you had coursework due but also knew you were leaving it to the last minute to get some sudden inspiration on the topic.

So he takes out his other earphone on the premise this was likely going to be more important that you would say it is. “What is it?”

“Nothing important,” you answer, shrugging a little in return. Felix was right, as he assumed. You were deflecting from the topic you actually wanted to share. It was important to you, and he knew that already. Felix is running a list of topics you cared about through his head until you interrupt him with the one thing he didn’t expect. “I actually met this guy?”

“This guy?” Felix repeats, unsure of what you mean. It sounded like a question you were posing to him, and Felix wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted in return.

Your blank stare means that the image of you with another guy beside you, hugging you, showing his love to you in every form, it’s pretty much on the right track. It wasn’t him who you’d met. It was a guy. “Yeah, you know. A guy.”

“Are you going to elaborate?” Felix’s irritation is clear through his properly enunciated syllables, each word clearly being presented to you. Luckily you don’t notice, likely because you’re thinking about whoever this guy is.

“Okay,” you reply with a wide smile. Felix feels bad for accidentally giving you permission to tell him about something he really doesn’t want to know about. He could listen to you talk for years, he could sit across from you and watch your pretty lips explain any topic picked out of a hat, though to tell him that the love he was feeling for you, even if he didn’t realise as of yet that it was love, that wasn’t something he could sit by. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”

And god did that piss him off.

His fake smiles might not have been obvious to you, and for that he’s glad, though anyone else who really looked at how Felix responded to your questions would have been able to tell that he was not, in the slightest, happy for you.

He could feign that reaction to you.

He could act like every little thing you told him about your dates, about your newly certified best friend or, even worse, boyfriend, really didn’t affect him that much.

But Seungmin noticed the very first time there was a problem not being addressed.

“She’s with Hyunjin.”

Felix’s statement is enough to catch the attention of Jeongin as well as Seungmin, the pair looking to Felix like he’d revealed an entirely new plot of lore to a game they’ve all been playing. The latter frowns at a new name in the puzzle.

“Who’s Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks.

Felix shrugs, looking back to his laptop. He has messenger open and an unread message to you staring right back at him. You were never the quickest at responding but it had been a few hours now and you’d stopped replying halfway through a conversation. “Just this guy.”

His explanation isn’t the clearest, but the other two are smart enough to realise what he’s referring to. Jeongin notices the discontent in his elder’s voice though doesn’t say anything. The youngest is usually quiet about things like this and brings them up at a later date when things get awkward.  

Instead, it’s Seungmin who misses the point completely and, given that the time you’ve spent with him too, believes wholeheartedly that Felix cares just as much about your happiness as his own.

“Damn, lucky her,” Seungmin states, placing his phone down on the table. He ignores the questioning look that Felix shoots him, focusing more on you, as Felix should have been doing. “It’s good she found someone who doesn’t just wanna smash and pass.”

Felix is happy that Seungmin ignores the pressing issue of why you were skimmed over so quickly. Why Felix, as your best friend, had nothing else to offer on the topic apart from that guy and a name that he had put to a face far too many times, since he couldn’t get it out of his head that you were now going to be with someone that he didn’t a, know that well, and b, wasn't him.

Yeah, Hyunjin was the kind of guy everyone would like to be with. He was an athlete that was kind of stuck up in his ways and, rather obnoxiously, wore his sports gear around campus like he wanted everyone and their mum to know exactly who he was and what he did.

It was enough for Felix to roll his eyes each time he saw the taller guy with nice skin hanging around.

And honestly, he gets it.

Felix understands your attraction to him, because Hwang Hyunjin was a very common topic in the cafeteria in one of the buildings and apparently every girl is swooning over his tall frame, pretty eyes and plump lips. There was also his majestically styled hair, the fact he could dance, and his accent when he spoke English.

Felix contemplates the true power of his Australian accent because of that one. He really thought that girls liked it, since he knew the other Australian on campus, Chan, was a big hit with girls since they liked his voice.

Though now he’s thinking that’s more to do with the fact Chan can sing.

It was beside the point, Felix had realised that the key you held in your hands wasn’t fitting lock completely. It touched every pin, though it missed the pin that he needed so badly.

He couldn’t help but want to hear that things weren’t working out for you. He would have begged to hear you sit down one day, distract him from his coursework, and openly tell him that you thought Hyunjin was terrible at something.

The problem was that Hyunjin was amazing at everything. All the way from contact sports to stealing your heart without a trace left for Felix.

It was always Hyunjin this and Hyunjin that for you. Felix would listen like the good friend he was though he would never actually say a word to you because he was worried he would tell you something crazy if he opened his mouth.

You know, like, I love you. Not him.

It’s one day after you’ve been together a few weeks that Felix stumbles across a topic that he thinks may catch the athlete out. They were yet to meet, but the absence of your presence on his social media (that Felix was unashamed to admit he was stalking, for your benefit of course) and the way that you presented Hyunjin gave him one impression.

Hyunjin wasn’t very capable of emotions.

“Does he love you?” Felix asks, words louder than the TV in the distance.

You look over to him, eyes wide. You’re not sure if you’ve heard him correctly, though it’s likely that you did given the stern look he’s returning you with. You look back to the TV momentarily, swallowing your pride and deciding to answer him anyway.

“It’s been three weeks, why would he love me?”

Your reply is enough to send Felix to silence, wondering whether he fell in love with you within 3 weeks. He thinks he did, he thinks that by week 2 he was enamoured by your smile and his heart would miss a beat each time your laughed. Week 3 for him must have been about when he stopped wondering whether his heart going doki doki was an indicator that you were his soulmate.

Before he gets judged, he was just struggling with his emotions on the opposite end to Hyunjin.

Whilst Hyunjin appeared to not be able to show them, Felix had far too many of them and he wanted out.

Emotions hurt too damn much. All Felix wanted was a peaceful time at university, to get his degree and move on so he can go onto writing the book he always dreamed about whilst he gets his qualifications to go into forensic psychology, since that was a pretty cool unit when he studied it.

It was far from peaceful for him, though, especially within his own thoughts. The only escape Felix gets is when he approaches Jeongin in the hopes the youngest could offer some advice in the form of… Felix not having to deal with his thoughts on his own.

“Because he probably doesn’t,” Jeongin states. His statement causes Felix’s heart to skip more beats than the boy would ever be happy to admit. Jeongin looks over to a couple that are sat near to them, watching them for a moment before he turns back to Felix. “I heard they got together at that party. He did just wanna smash and pass after all.”

Felix frowns at the thought. He didn’t go out with you often, but he thought you were on a more conservative side. He didn’t know jack shit about your relationship with Hyunjin but he thought it was more than that. You were comfortable with Hyunjin, more so than with Felix it seemed, and he couldn’t imagine that Hyunjin was with you this whole time just to do that with you.

So Felix defends Hyunjin for some reason, believing it was in betterment to you. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” Jeongin states. The youngest chews on the straw of his drink for a moment, then sips some of his drunk. Felix only looks on with discontent, his point unproven. “Because I’m an expert when it comes to love.”

Felix can only scoff at the statement. Yang Jeongin was many things, but the boy was too nervous to talk to girls and went as far as avoiding group work with anyone he wasn’t friends with. Honestly, girls scared him, and Felix was very aware of that fact. The only thing that Jeongin had to his advantage was that he always listened, and he always knew what was going on behind the scenes. It was the emotions bit he didn’t get.

“Find me someone to love, then.”

“I can’t.” Jeongin’s reply cuts a little too deep at Felix’s ego. The younger defends himself with a blasé statement and shrug. “You don’t want to love anyone.”

“What do you mean?” Felix asks, all the while knowing that Jeongin’s statement wasn’t too far from the truth.

It’s not that he didn’t want to love anyone, it was that he didn’t want to love anyone but you.

It’s an unfortunate fact that Felix faces when he’s sat out in the darkness you like so much, the stars shining down on him and the moon offering a calming cup of reality and sympathy.

He doesn’t see you out, even though he knows this is where you would have passed at the exact time he was sat there - not that he was a stalker, he just remembers you saying from before.  He knows you’re off somewhere with Hyunjin, enjoying the love you feel for someone other than him.

His heart feels like breaking.

Felix sits on the bench until the sun starts to rise and the birds are catching the worms, eyes fixated on the path he wished that he was walking on that day when you met Hyunjin.

Oh, how things would be different.

Instead of moping around about it, he returns home with his under eyes red and head thumping from tiredness. He sleeps for about fifteen hours when he finally lays face down in bed, covers not even over him, the last thought on his mind being that he should just tell you.

Tell you how each time you look in his direction he’s reminded that the sun is a star.

Tell you how each time he hears your name he’s reminded of the peace that comes alongside the cosmos.

Tell you how, no matter what you do, he’s so effortlessly in love with you that his heart is about to burst like a supernova.

But you’re just a blackhole that can’t give anything back to him.

He thinks about it all day, knees hugged to his chest and headphones on. The right amount of sad songs convincing him that being honest is the best way forward. He considers calling you, but at the back of his head there’s a lingering thought that he doesn’t want to have you reject him without him seeing your face.

So he asks you to meet him the next day instead, hoping that seeing him in person might give you a little extra… well, push to actually love him back.

“I have to tell you something,” Felix says, interrupting the silence between the two of you. He realises that he’s a little louder than intended when you look up from you book and check around you both to see if anyone else is interested in the conversation, too.

“What?” you question, head turned slightly to the side in interest. “Are you okay, Felix?”

How could anyone be fine when they were going to give a confession they’d put off this entire time out of fear of rejection?

God, you had a boyfriend, this was about as pointless as the thoughts he had of you two actually being together in the future.

“Yeah.” Felix answers, his hands and voice both shaky. He pushes through it, offering the most generic of smiles he can in order to convince you that there was no other emotion running through him than… content. Yeah, he was content. Nothing else. “I’m fine”

“You look like you’re going to pass out.”  

Way to state the obvious.

Felix feels like he’s going to pass out, too. Or at least throw up a few hundred times in response to coming to terms with his feelings for you that he’s pushed to the back of his mind for more time than he can remember.

He wonders if he can avoid all of this by staring at you and creeping you out enough that you just leave and you never talk to him again. Who is Felix kidding, you are too kind to do that. You’d have tried to be the best friend that you can if you though he was going through something.

So he works up the courage to tell you what he wanted to, albeit slowly, and finally admit to you that he had a never ending string of feelings for you that he couldn’t get to go away no matter how many times he tried to.

Except your phone starts ringing and his heart stops beating completely.

Your look is apologetic for what you think he’s going to tell you. Felix can at least appreciate that. “Hold on, Hyunjin is calling me. Can it wait five minutes?”

He realises then that he could never tell you.

Hyunjin was always there to block him off, put your attention elsewhere when the one you really needed to be paying attention to was Felix.

It wasn’t even like Felix could put a logical reason to it. He wasn’t better than Hyunjin in anyway. He wasn’t more attractive, he wasn’t taller, he wasn’t any more talented. They had their individual things and Felix was just mad you loved Hyunjin instead of him.

At first he gets a bit angry. A thrown book, a thrash at his pillow, two screams into the blanket at the side of his bed. Felix lets out his anger for this whole situation in a matter of seconds in the hopes that things will die down in his head.

The thoughts were back. The ideas of a fantasy realm where he was in love with someone, and they were in love with him too. He was back to searching for a key to his heart and no matter what he did, you were always the one leading the search for him.

That’s what hurt him the most.

No matter what he did, no matter how many times he tried to get your face out of his mind, you managed to weasel your way straight back to the front of his mind and it left him more pissed off than ever before.

So he decides to act like nothing has changed. To try his best and accept that you don’t love him, you love Felix, and instead of thinking so negatively he would try to support you in the best way he can as your best friend.

Which works for the better part of a few weeks.

He listens to your rants about how good Hyunjin is to you. He sits back and lets you tell him every little detail, even the ones he doesn’t particularly want to hear, because he wants to be a good friend to you. There’s part of him that really wants you to see how good he is to you, and that same part of him hopes you’ll adjust your feelings just a touch to see him in the same way you did Hyunjin.

It gets easier over time for Felix, anyway. The days pass by like nothing and instead of being caught up in the thoughts of wanting you to love him back, he’s back to enjoying spending time with you and looking forward to the next time he saw you.

He feels that everything is back on track and that it’s all going well.

That is until he meets you one day and you’re fixed with nothing but a blank stare and teary eyes.

Felix does the whole good friend act like always, he buys you a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, he finds you a good place to sit, he even offers you the latest take on an album from your favourite artist and offers to buy it for you in the hopes it will cheer you up.

He expects you to say there was an argument, but the way you look into the distance like something is missing, a look he knows all too well, tells him that this is more than just a Hyunjin argument.

“We broke up.”

Felix isn’t surprised to hear the words leave you, especially when you’d spent the entire day quieter than you’d ever been before. He feels more anger than sympathy in his heart, mind falling on the one person he thought had caused him problems this entire time.

“Hyunjin broke up with you?” He asks, eliciting little more than a nod.

It has to sit with him for a few hours before it sinks in to him. Though you’re by his side the whole time, sat next to him watching whatever movie you wanted to put on, Felix can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that you aren’t dating Hyunjin anymore.

Even a few days later, weeks even, Felix doesn't feel like anything has changed.

At first he thinks it’s because Hyunjin isn’t around at all anyway. His presence wasn’t suddenly missed, there was never a group of Felix’s friends that involved Hyunjin. Instead it was just the lack of his name in conversation and an inability to refer to your boyfriend when the opportunity arose.

It takes a while to occur to Felix that, despite the image of a dastardly boy who stole away his princess which came to mind when thinking on Hyunjin, the main issue at hand was never that he loved you.

No, Hyunjin never asked you to love him, and nor did he force it either.

It dawns on Felix when he hears you say to one of your other friends in the corridor that you were looking at dating sites because you wanted to find someone who could replace Hyunjin. Not even a glance in Felix’s direction the entire conversation.

When he gets home, sits on his bed and stares at the wall for twenty minutes, he realises the comment he can deduct from the entire situation.

Hyunjin was never Felix’s problem.

You were the problem this entire time.

You were in love with Hyunjin and you had all of these feelings which never pointed to Felix and you never wanted to give Felix the chance to show you, prove to you that he cared for you and would have treated you better than anyone else ever could.

And he shouldn’t take it personally, because sometimes love is unrequited.

Felix is left with a dilemma which means he’s in love with you, a girl who won’t ever consider him more than your best friend. He’s not sure what to do, because he still knows that telling you is pointless. A confession would drive you apart and your friendship means a lot to him.

But the endless nights of insomnia and wandering thoughts at points in the class where he really didn’t want to be thinking about you, they catch up to him.

He draws the line in caring when he realises his chance is back to zero. Though it might be selfish, he values the idea of a peaceful night's sleep without your face popping up to remind him of what he wished to escape so badly.

Sometimes you have to let go of what you love, in order to show you love them.

“This is Changbin,” you say, introducing the boy to your side. He looks a little shy. He has his hair hanging over his face, shirt too big for him but suiting the rock band guitarist look he was going for. Felix hides his sickening feeling with a smile and offer of a seat. You don’t notice the look in his eyes that he would with you. You don’t see how he’s left with nothingness filling the space around him once again. “I hope you get on well.”

You don’t see how Felix is left at the bottom of a dark pit, none of which fit the lock he’s got wrapped over and over around his heart.

The light you shone down onto him is switched off by the plug. He can’t see his shining, silver key that he thought you were pointing out to him, he’s surrounded by a pile of keys that he’s been trying for years to no avail.

You were a rainbow in the darkness that showed him a path forward, but he was hoping for so much more.

[nny11writes]

For the fic writer ask game: What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write? (Feel free to rant :) )

Hahahaha, sorry were you looking for one trope? 

I’m usually so positive so now you’ve done it. You’ve unlocked me complaining about random shit that doesn’t usually matter. Because the damn busted wide the fuck open! Okay, so I’m going to approach this as outside of smut fics with intense kinks I can’t stand (vore, foot fetish, scat play, etc), because that’s me getting squicked and/or triggered and not just tropes that I wish would die in a fire.

My only disclaimer up front is that if you love most of these (hopefully it’ll be obvious which ones I will not forgive/excuse you from), that’s awesome! Go for it! Read it, write it, print it out to loving re-read and paste on the walls! Fandom is, in large part, about finding your niche and enjoying what you enjoy pretty much shamelessly. So I’m not passing judgement on anyone who enjoys reading or writing (most of) these.

CW: rape, sexual assault Also I’ve had a shit few days, so if you don’t want to read someone just being negative and bitching this is probably not the post for you friend. But it all below a cut so people can avoid!

Crossover Fics/Rule 50

My main gripe with this is that without fail a series I love get crossed over with a fandom I either don’t care about or hate. Every time I’ve tried to force myself to read one it’s never worked out for me. Sometimes fics aren’t properly tagged and I’m getting into the setting only for other characters from another fandom to suddenly show up and literally I instantly loose interest. The closest I got to writing a crossover fic, was on FF.net where I had all the characters I wrote for “talking to me” when I hit a big wall of writer’s block in the hopes that writing something so different and strange for me would help. It didn’t. It was interesting for 0.2 seconds to wonder how characters would interact, but then I instantly lost interest because I end up leaning so heavily of character tropes to make it work which, for me, isn’t fun to read or write.

Like, just write fusion! I like fusion! I’m currently writing a SPOP-SW fusion! It allows me to play with characters in a fun world that I already understand, but without the frustration of characters becoming more 2D or very OOC (or both) to force them to interact with one another. Rage Fics

Honestly? If you write and post rage fics, fuck you. Full stop. Fuck you. 

I’m about to tangent, but I swear it’s related. This is the equivalent of someone tagging a character or ship or fandom they hate in a post bashing them or blasting them to hell and back. Fucking beyond rude and obnoxious. That’s what rage fics are cranked up to 11. You are 100% allowed to hate on fandom/character/ship/trope/whatever the fuck, but when you do that shit you are forcing people who enjoy the media to see/interact with your BS because you fucking tagged it to show up where we are. A great example here in SPOP is Catra. I love her! I understand why some people don’t, and they’re 100% allowed to hate her and resent that so many people like her. Recently I went to the Catra tag to find art and fic, maybe some of the top notch meta this fandom puts out if I was lucky, and got stuck seeing post after post after meta post comparing her to another character in the show to explain why she’s an awful person, badly written character, and anyone who likes her (but didn’t like the poster’s fave) was an idiot/asshole/troll/bitch/dumbass and you know what? I went from having a decent time decompressing after a shitty day at work to getting fucking sent around the sun with stress. Like, bro, I’m here to ENJOY myself thanks, and when you tag things I go to for fun and fluff when I’m out of spoons and ready to snap to ranting about hating it, you make me want to scream.

Y’all don’t know how many people are lucky that I write up responses in word so I can get it out of my system and then just DELETE the whole fucking thing. Rage fic is that same fucking set up, but instead of being a relatively quick post (where I can block the poster here on tumblr), it’s a fanfic that people are going to continue to click into over and over and over again for fun only to get body slammed. There’s no way to warn people on AO3 if something is a rage fic beyond not leaving a kudos and dropping a comment. I don’t know a lot of people who read comments first so it doesn’t always work. 

If you post rage fics, grow up. Stop that shit. Fuck you. Instead, try not purposefully interacting with fandom that makes you so mad that you think doing this is an appropriate reaction. Block tags, block users, regulate comments, go whole fucking hog. You should be able to enjoy fandom too! But if you can’t do that without tearing down other people in fandom then you make me want to beat you over the head until you self-isolate to play by yourself in a different sandbox. Seriously. Fuck you if you do this.

Troll Fics

Did you think I came on strong for rage fics? This is worse. 

If you do this? Fuck you. You get NOTHING but my pure rage and if I find this shit I will report you however I can and then shout from the rooftops about it. And I’m sure if you do write troll fics because you enjoy being purposefully offensive and triggering then you’re probably delighted that my reaction to just thinking about this is wishing I had the power to fuck up your life. 

Like, the ONLY thing I can say for rage fic is that at least typically the person writing it actually enjoys some aspect of the fandom or fandom in general. 

Troll fics are just meant to be offensive on purpose and if you write and post that you’re a bad person. No exceptions. You can make different choices and work to become a better person or a good person, but right now, right this second as you do it? You’re a bad person. You should probably figure out why you get so much joy out of posting things with the sole purpose of hurting/triggering/being cruel to others. And you might need help to do that. I legit think you should reach out to people with different opinions from your own to try and break out of it. Get a therapist. Do fucking something worthwhile, because posting troll fics is not worth anyone’s while. Fuck you. Rape as a Backstory

I hope I don’t have to fucking explain why this makes me want to literally explode. I’m purposefully not writing that as R*pe so that people with rape tagged don’t see this.

If you think that rape is the only way to push your story forward or is a great way to give a character “free and easy trauma”, literally stop. Just. Fucking. Stop. There are other ways. Really look at your work, really think about /why/ it’s so important to you that the character /has/ to be raped. Most of the time the real answer is you don’t have a reason you just chose it because you either don’t care, think it’s not a big deal, or never considered other possibilities. There are stories where rape does need to be included, stories that address the topic kindly and/or tag appropriately for it. I’ve read some of these that were really amazing, both short (<1k) and long (>100k) because the author actually took a hot second to address the topic in an intelligent way. Whether that was to dive into how it’s harmful, address their own trauma, or (honestly) even for the smut porn of it but with all the proper tags on it. If you have it to be purely enjoyed by yourself and/or others with dubcon or noncon kinks, cool, good for you, TAG IT APPROPRIATELY. Fucking bless writers who still use “Dead Dove/Do Not Eat” tags y’all are doing great work. But the vast majority using this trope? 

They aren’t that, they aren’t anything like that at all, they aren’t always tagged correctly or at all and that’s by design, it’s often for shock value or a quick ‘well that’s why they’re anti-social’, it’s sometimes used as an excuse for one character to swear off sex until the “right person” comes along to “cure them”, and they shouldn’t have ever been posted.

Redemption Equals Sex/Sexual Karma

I know this is spring boarding a bit, but please stop writing these two tropes. 

I’m exhausted  y’all. And not just because I’m asexual. This trope is disgusting and usually comes with heaps of sexism, racism, and homophobia. If you want to write smut please just write the fucking smut. I’m literally posting smut fic and am planning to work on another one tonight! JUST WRITE SMUT WITHOUT MAKING IT DISGUSTINGLY ANTI-MINORITY GROUPS AND PLAYING INTO HARMFUL STEREOTYPES.  If bad guys become good(ish) guys because a woman saw past their barriers, took care of them, are a surrogate mother, and then had wild and kinky sex with them then it’s a bad fic. Likewise, if a character is punished for having sex, or is sexually assaulted to show that they’re now bad then it’s a bad fic.

If a character’s suffering is rewarded with sex to “cure” them and “make them better” then it’s a bad fic.

There are so many ways that this shit becomes a seriously harmful fic.

Please. Please, stop doing this. I am on my knees. Stop!

I am sick of ‘Draco’s in Leather Pants’ (can’t fucking believe I’m whipping that term out again holy shit what year is it) getting redeemed because they slept with someone and now found a reason to care. Sex leading someone on the path towards redemption is so EXTREMELY rarely handled in a way that’s well done. Just. Don’t. Be an unapologetic villain lover, slap them in an AU where they aren’t a pure villain, but don’t do this. Like I wrote above, I’m also just sick of (usually, but not always) dudes who put rape in to punish (usually, but not always) female characters or to punish weak/pushover characters (usually, but not always males). And equally tired of traumatized characters “casting off their shackles” to enjoy wild and kinky sex because someone with a magic dick/strap/fingers/tongue “showed them it’s okay” and “made it all better”.

Just, don’t. Be a fucking decent human being and don’t.

Character/Reader Fics

I...I really just don’t get this? It’s very uncomfortable to me and I’m assuming that’s due to me being aroace, I can’t read them and if I try to I either become so uncomfortable I stop or so rage filled I stop. 

I don’t mind 2nd person stories, but most of the ones I see are character/reader fics and it’s...like, it’s just bad. Not “cringe” just enjoyable for me. I can’t explain why I hate this so much considering I do enjoy some 2nd person fics. Idk, I really don’t have the words to explain why these bother me so much. :\

I ain’t got an alternative, if you like these you like them, and if you don’t you just don’t. Thank you for tagging so I can avoid. Have fun on your own! Song Fics and/or Audio/Sound Cue Fics

Sorry guys, I just hate it. I can’t really read a fic and listen to music at the same time, it becomes background noise 100% and detracts from both for audio cue fics.

Fuck, just realized I don’t know if people know what those are. Audio/Sound cue fics are fics where you’re reading along and all the sudden there’s a link or URL that you’re supposed to follow to help set up the next scene/enhance it. Hate it. Hate, hate, hate. It detracts from your story and makes it weaker while being annoying and breaking me the reader out of my enjoyment of your story. Hate! Telling me in the A/N that this (or these) are the song(s) you listened to while writing, song(s) you based the story on, or even that you think they’re good songs to get you in the mood for the story is totally okay! I’ll probably ignore it unless I went head over heels for it, in which case I WILL go back and listen to all of them. (Why hello Rhythm and Blues, you punched me in the face and I now listen to every song even vaguely mentioned in the story or A/N, you’re that good, it’s so fucking good guys, I can’t stop talking about this fucking series it’s just so good?????????) Song fics are also typically in this boat for me. And I want to be really clear, not fics where a character is singing in the fic with lyrics written out. That doesn’t bother me, that song is now effectively part of the story and draws me in. But if it’s paragraphs of description before suddenly cutting it’s annoying. Why, oh why, do I put up with this misery? Still looking for a reason For now it is a mystery to me Why, oh why, do I put up with this misery? Still looking for a reason But for now it's ancient history to me

So yeah I’m making an example to complain about the example. 

But question. 

Was that needed? 

All I did was make overly explicit my feelings in this text that was already there in what I’d written. Song fics feel to me like writers who aren’t confident that their writing is good/understandable/relatable and so they are desperately throwing someone else’s creation into their own in the hopes the reader will get it. Friend, I promise you, we’ll get it without the song! The song lyrics detract when they’re just floating out there, and have taken goods fics and made them frustrating. Either that or you think you’re so amazing that your shit don’t stink and the rest of us idiots can choke because of your brilliance. I’ve found several song fics that if I copy and paste them into a word document and delete the song out, I really enjoyed the fic itself on it’s own merits in a way I literally couldn’t with the lyrics in there. Again, if you are weaving music into your fic, weave it in. Have characters sing, write the lyrics out as a character is listening to the music, quote the song in your fic (preferably without it being super obvious. I’m not saying my take on that was the best, but I did write a Catradora fic on giftly request based on a song and I 100% used lyrics from it in my prose and built my whole plot around it without breaking out to quote the song explicitly), just do something that’s not, like, punching me in the face because “clearly I couldn’t get it” or from a fear that “they won’t understand”. At best you seem insecure and unsure about your story, which is fantastic without the song. At worst it seems like you’re saying your fic is so beyond the average reader that we would never understand your vision without someone else’s original content in it.

[i-growl-growl-growl]

(Yandere!Monsta x) Hi...I'm new around here, can anyone show me around? *Shyly smiles fixing my afro Puffs and glasses* I would love to make to make new friends- kina

This may not seem like yandere at all but I’ll still put it in the tags.   

This reaction is also different from the usual way that I do it. Hopefully it makes sense and you can enjoy it.

~Savie

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*All of the boy’s heads turn to look at you as you ask them to show you around. Each one of them waves and gives you a big smile before saying anything*

*Shownu is the first to approach you despite the eagerness exuding from the other members. He pays no attention to the knowledge that the rest of the boys are staring daggers into his back as he gives you a heart-melting eye smile and bow of his head in polite but friendly greeting* “Of course we can show you around. it’d be a pleasure. My name is Shownu. It’s nice to meet you”

*as he takes your hand and holds it in his, both of you hear protests from the others, especially as he’s beginning to lead you away. For the most part you both ignore the others since they tag along but a snark comment from Kihyun about how Shownu will crush your hand and send you to the hospital makes him snap back and push the other boy to the ground with brute force* “Shut up!! You’ll scare our new friend away before they even get to know us properly. Seriously! How insensitive could you be?’

*While Shownu is busy wrestling with a now fired-up Kihyun, Wonho makes his move and walks to your side. The sheer size of him has you slightly shaking in fear but his hearty laugh at the ruckus between Shownu and Kihyun quickly dissolves that fear within you.* “ah! Don’t pay attention to those dimbos, Kihyun’s always getting into fights with us because he acts like he’s tough shit and says stupid things. Lets get on with the tour shall we?”

*Unlike Shownu, Wonho manages to get you through a bit of the tour before I/M catches his attention by yelling out that you should keep an eye on him because you wouldn’t want him to touch you after he’d been fapping to some porn right before you got to the dorm. This just so happens to happen as Wonho was about to touch your back to guide you to the next room.     Wonho, obviously irritated with the outburst looks back to the other boys and threats them with a death glare* “Funny, coming from the likes of you who doesn’t wash their hands no matter what they do. At least I washed  up afterwards and wouldn’t get caught dead doing that while they’re around unlike you!”

*Just as Wonho believes that the boys are going to back off and let him continue leading you on the tour, I/M jumps on his back like a wild monkey and holds him back, nearly making Wonho stumble to the ground.* “Ah haha!! Y/N, it’ll be just a moment. Let me get this ape off my back then I’ll continue showing you around.”

*Hyungwon, seeing his chance at that moment, makes his way forward and pushes Wonho and I.M aside* “Aish!! can you really believe these mongrels? C’Mon y/n, let a real man show you around. You should have to deal with these overgrown buffoons”

Unfortunately for Hyugnwon, Minhyuk had had the same idea. Just as he took your hand in his to lead you away, Minhyuk did the same with the other hand, pulling you in the opposite direction of where Hyungwon had intended on taking you.    The poor boy looks in the direction that his hyung is leading you and visibly pouts, crossing his arms and huffing in irritation at being denied the chance to lead you on the rest of the tour.*    “Seriously!!!! They never give me the chance to shine! That was totally my shot!  aaaaahhh, I swear I can’t stand my hyungs always getting in my way anymore!”

*Minhyuk easily dodges around the hoard of boys that block the hallways as they nag and fight with one another about ruining their time with you. Once he deems that the two of you are far away enough from the rambunctious group he takes the time to wave at you and smile, like they all had when you first entered the dorm.* “Hello!!!!!! I’m Minhyuk. Sorry about all of that. They’re all immature but you have nothing to worry about now. We can get on with showing you around without anymore interruptions. I hope I get to see you around often and, whenever you need anything, you can always depend on me. I’m at your service!!!”

*You only manage to get a brief “Hello” in before Minhyuk gets his own karma served to him.      Just as he’d taken you from Hyungwon, You’re immediately attention is grabbed by someone who slides in-between you two and and whisks you away from the eager boy. who’s now left to ponder his lack of luck and stupidity for making such a long introduction rather than leading you on tour like he should have*  “Of course I did that! Of course that simpleton would get in our way and steal them from me! Of course!!!!!” How stupid could I have been to think that no one would come between us?”

“Hello, I’m Jooheon” *that’s it, just a simple wave and his name is all you get from the new guy leading you around. At that point you’re actually glad for that though because, now, you might have a chance of finishing this tour without any more interruptions.*

*unfortunately, yours and Jooheon’s hopes are dashed after he manages to show you a few more bits of the dorm before the infamous maknae barges his way back into the lime light by tackling Jooheon the same way he had tackled Wonho earlier. The only difference is that He manages to make his mark by successfully knocking Jooheon to the ground. Unfortunately for him though, Jooheon is quick to get back on his feet and has now had his attention turned to getting revenge* “Who do you think you are little punk? You think you can do that to me without any repercussions? Do you know how weak you just made me look in front of our guest huh? Come here lil bish! Imma fuck you up!!!!”

*as Jooheon and I/M fight each other, the man that you’ve come to know as Kihyun makes his way over to you. With a suave aura surrounding him, you can’t help but forget about the shitstorm happening around you from the rest of the boys in the dorms who are all tearing at each others throats literally and figuratively.* “I’m Kihyun.” *he says in a voice that makes you want to melt like butter* “you’re standing in front of my room, it’s the closest one to the living room. If you ever need a quiet place to stay you can always use my space, I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Yeah, like they’d ever want to be alone with a sleaze like you” *says Shownu as he marches up to you two.* “I’d be more worried leaving them alone with you than with Wonho or I.M. I can only imagine what you’re hoping you’ll get to do with them if they ever are dumb enough to accept your offer.”

*the suave aura around Kihyun dissipates in a flash as his eyes simultaneously widen and narrow at the words that Show throw out. He looks over to Shownu and you can tell that another fight is to ensue between them.* “What’d you just say you waffle brained ditz? You wanna say that to my face rather than theirs huh?”

*Just when you begin to wonder if you’ll make it out of this tour alive, a familiar face appears. You’re amazed that he seems so clean and un-bruised considering the fact that this boy is the same boy who’s been attacked by two of the three strong boys of the group.* “Hello” *he says awkwardly as he stands in front of you* “I’m I.M and…well uh…. there’s only the living room left to show you so follow me and I’ll lead you back there.”

*A sigh of relief escapes from your lips as I.M manages to get you to the final part of the tour in one piece. He shows you whats around to room and even offers to let you sit on the couch, which he chooses to sit down in next to you when you accept the offer.    oh.... but don’t think that this meant that the taunting between the boys was over because Wonho makes his way over and makes it clear that he wasn’t done with I.M yet*  “OOOOH lookie here, our lil baby I.M thinks he gets all th treats after being such a bad boy today huh?” *he pokes the other’s cheeks as he taunts him* “nuh-uh-uh, not if I’ve got anything to say, or do, about it! Bad boys don’t get dessert!!” *With that said Wonho sits down on the other side of you and pushes you closer to him.*

*The rest of Monsta X find their way to the couch and take turns sitting nest to you throughut the rest of you day at the dorms with them.     By the time you’re able to leave you couldn’t help but hope that you wouldn’t have to see them for a while but, if you did, hopefully they’d be MUCH calmer the next time.*

~Savie