#i get distracted super easily though and i was REALLY fucking high tonight so it took me two hours just to start and then another four

[sofarsogoodsowhat]

Hewwo anon here I heard you want some asks, hope you're alright

HI thank u 🥺 im doing ok but ive also had two and a half redbulls tonight and my adhd medication makes my insomnia worse so im either not going to sleep at all or im gonna crash within half an hour. its 4;35am here

[kindahoping4forever]

My Drug Is My Baby // Ashton Irwin

Thank you to everyone for your patience - I wrote and teased this story quite a while ago but I’ve unfortunately had some real life matters keeping me away from Tumblr. So it fits that I’m back with somewhat of a comfort fic (with a dirty edge because obviously) 😌. No big backstory, I was in a shitty mood, decided a horny smoke sesh in Ash’s backyard was the only cure and I wrote this surprisingly easily (for me). Thanks to @cal-puddies​​​​ for assuring me that this wasn’t just a “me” fantasy (lol) and for cheering me on in the form of copious clown emojis in the comments section of Google Docs.🤡🤡🤡🤡

Warnings: A boyfriend!Ash fic featuring weed smoking, mention of masturbation and sex toys, dirty talk, brief manual and oral stimulation of a female, dry humping, cum play

Word count: 3300

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

You close your eyes, stretching out on the patio lounger and losing yourself in the music pouring from the bluetooth speaker on the table next to you. The cool night air blows across you and you surprise yourself with the volume of the pleased sigh you let out; it could just be the state you’re in but you swear it’s the best thing you’ve ever felt.

It’s only Tuesday but you’ve already absolutely had it with this week and all day the only thing you could think about was getting home, getting off and getting high. You’d hoped to tackle those last two items on your checklist with your boyfriend but just as you were pulling into the driveway, he texted saying he'd be home late.

You felt disappointed but adaptable and made a nice little evening for yourself: you ordered dinner from that Italian place only you like, indulged in a hot shower that went on for far too long and spent some quality time with your favorite vibrator. To close out your evening, you threw on your panties and one of Ashton's hoodies and headed out back to have a smoke in his “garden.” 

It’s not much, just a few pots with flowers and vegetables, but he’s so fucking proud of it, especially since you’ve helped him spruce it up with string lights and furniture, you’ve come to love it as much as he does.

You sigh again as the breeze continues to tickle your skin and you wiggle your toes, trying to decide if your bare legs are actually chilly or if you're just sensitive from your high. You're pretty sure you saw a blanket by the door but that seems super far away right now so instead you just hug your knees to your chest and try to fit them inside your oversized sweatshirt.

"Thought I heard a party back here," a voice teases from across the yard. 

You turn to look behind you, delight decorating your face. "I didn't hear the car pull up!" You consider running over to him and leaping into his arms but again, that seems like a lot of work so instead you just sit up on your knees, pucker your lips and wait.

Ashton chuckles, bounding over to plant a soft kiss to your impatient mouth. "Mmm, you taste sweet," he comments.

"Oh! I saved some for you," you exclaim, offering him the three-quarters eaten bag of kettle corn you've been snacking on.

He snorts and shakes his head but still dips inside for a handful. "Midnight snack in the garden and about 20 minutes ago I got five different messages that had no words but roughly three dozen kiss emojis… my love, are you high?" He spots your pipe on the table and turns it over in his hands, exaggeratedly inspecting. 

"Why, you jealous?" You giggle as you swipe it back from him.

"A little," he laughs, running a hand over your face and grinning as you melt into his touch. "Had a bit of a day myself."

You pout at his statement, yanking him down into another kiss, mewling as his beard scratches your face. "I was thinkin’ about packing another bowl, come smoke with me, tell me about it,'' you insist.

“Planned on it when I heard you back here,” he smiles. “Might need to go in and grab us another snack though, evidently.”

You stick your tongue out at him. "Oh wow, you're right, I am super sweet," you observe distractedly, now happily licking your own lips. 

Ash laughs joyfully, settling into the chaise opposite yours. You start off asking softball questions about each other’s day, wanting to save the bigger complaints for later, when the high can take the edge off. In between anecdotes, there’s that comfortable silence you always love falling into with him. The two of you are thinkers as well as talkers and sometimes you need to collect your thoughts before you launch into the next topic; you love that you both recognize and appreciate that need. You also love the chance to just observe your man, love watching his wheels turn as his mind works, love taking him in, marveling that he exists in your world.

Tonight you find yourself fascinated as he takes the supplies off the table and gets to work, fingers reaching into the stash jar to break off pieces of the bud, long hair falling in his face as he methodically loads them into the grinder. You can’t take your eyes off him, the metallic cylinder seeming to disappear in his large hands, veins becoming visible as he grips it, arms tensing and tattoos flexing as he twists, offering you a soft smile when he notices your gaze.

He stretches in his chair, trying to reach the pipe near you. It takes a minute to register that you should hand it to him, you’re caught up thinking about how big he looks leaning across the table, how his t-shirt pulling across his chest like that makes you want to bury your face in it, how warm it’d be, how safe and content you would feel.

Ashton gently says your name, breaking you from your reverie and gesturing towards the pipe.

You grab the glass piece and happily plop onto his chair to hand it to him, pecking him on the cheek for good measure. He chuckles at your eagerness, shifting to make room for you; he watches amusedly as you attempt to find a sitting position opposite him that is both comfortable and allows you to cover yourself with your hoodie.

“You know you’d probably be warmer if you didn’t come out here pantsless, baby.”

“You know I don’t believe in pants after 11pm, I can’t believe you’d suggest such a thing,” you reply with playful indignance, looking up at him triumphantly as you successfully bring the sweatshirt down over your crossed legs.

He cackles as he packs the ground weed into the bowl; he nudges your knee, which you correctly assume is his way of asking for the lighter he knows is in your hoodie pocket. You hand it to him and watch as he lights up and starts to take his first couple hits. 

You intended to pay more attention - admire his lips wrapping around the mouthpiece, his fingers flicking the lighter, let yourself be awed at how small your pipe looks in his hand - but you got distracted at the sight of his thick thighs as he sits cross-legged in his favorite basketball shorts. You think to yourself you don’t appreciate Ashton’s legs enough and reach out to tenderly rub your palms over them, humming contentedly when you find his skin as warm and comforting as you imagined.

“Baby...” He squeezes your hand on his thigh, refocusing your attention as smoke pours from his mouth. “You’re in a mood tonight, aren’t ya?” You can tell by his sing-songy tone and goofy smile he’s already starting to relax.

“Been thinkin’ bout relaxing with you like this all day,” you say dreamily. He offers you the pipe and you take it, practically purring when he sneaks his hands inside your sweatshirt and strokes over your legs while you smoke like you did with him. “Just happy you’re home and here with me.”

Ash pulls you into a slow kiss, tongue moving in the same delicate pattern his fingers are tracing on your thighs. “I missed you too, baby,” he admits as he pulls away. “You know I try not to be a downer but it was one of those days where I couldn’t help thinking it would’ve been better if we’d just shut off our alarms and stayed in bed together.”

“God, fucking same,” you commiserate, taking one more puff before passing the pipe back to him. “Tell me what happened.”

The two of you go back and forth trading stories, the pipe and every so often, a kiss. After a while, he decides to pack one more bowl and you lean back opposite him on the chair as he sets up again. You look at the stars, smiling to yourself as the combination of your high, the breeze and the sound of Ash quietly singing along to your playlist makes you shiver. Today was hard but if it’s what you had to go through to end up here in this moment? It was worth it.

You sit up on your elbows when you hear the spark of the lighter. You watch him take a long drag from the pipe and you’re not sure what it is but he just looks so goddamn beautiful, you find yourself overcome. Before you even realize what you’re doing, you crawl over to him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

He giggles softly, sitting the pipe aside as you attach your mouth to his neck, giving him what could either be three hundred quick kisses or just three long ones, you’re not sure, your lips seem to be moving of their own accord and really all you’re thinking about in this moment is how much you wish the beard burn you’re feeling on your face was between your thighs.

“You good, baby?” He asks with a slight rasp in his voice, which you suspect is partly from his long day but also perhaps an indication he’s beginning to feel needy for you too. You take a detour to nip at his ear for a second before you kiss your way down his neck again; you work your mouth over the front and you moan when your tongue feels the vibrations of the soft moan he lets out.

You climb into his lap, straddling him and he stretches out his legs to accommodate you. You wrap yourself around him, in a kind of koala hug for a beat or two before quietly murmuring, “Been thinkin’ bout this all day too.” You offer him a deep, passionate kiss that tells him how much you need him, today, everyday and right now this fucking minute.

Ash waits for your lips to slow and then he pulls away, cradling your face, looking into your eyes, searching. His hazel eyes are gorgeous as always but blown wide from smoking; you know yours must look similar but you can tell he sees the love in them, can sense your hunger. He makes out with you for a few minutes, following your lead, waiting to see how far you want to take this.

Your kisses are becoming increasingly heated, increasingly filled with need and he decides to have a little fun with you. His hands run down your back and land on your ass, affectionately rubbing over your hoodie covered backside as he cheekily replies, “Thinking about me all day, huh? What exactly you been thinkin’ about all day?”

A naughty grin spreads across your face. You love playing this game with him. “Started this morning when I had to drag myself out of bed even though I had you naked next to me,” you start, leaning into another slow kiss before you pull back just slightly, staying close enough that your lips brush against his while you speak. “You looked so good when you told me goodbye, laying there half-asleep, cock more awake than you were. Wished I’d taken the time to slip you inside me, started off my day by feeling you get hard for me.” You begin grinding into his lap to emphasize your point.

Ashton licks over your lips, squeezing your ass approvingly as you move over him. “If you’d have done that, I guarantee neither of us would’ve left the house today,” he laughs sinfully. “What else, baby?”

Your hands brush over his bearded cheeks. “Every time I saw my reflection today I expected to see the marks your beard leaves - every weekend I just get so used to seeing my neck and chest so red… I miss it when we have to go back to reality,” you sigh, leaning back on your hands as you grind, exposing your neck, whining a little as he takes the bait and sucks a few spots on your skin, purposefully dragging his beard on you.

“Like that, baby?” He eggs you on, helping you ride him over his shorts, hands now roaming your ass over your panties, your hoodie having ridden up from your movements. “You want to know something I thought about today?” Suddenly his fingers are firmly gripping you and he gently lifts his hips up against your center, meeting your hips a few times to show you how hard you’ve made him.

You nod, gasping as you feel the swollen head of his cock rub directly over your clit, just two thin pieces of fabric separating you. Weed always makes you sensitive but you can’t believe how you can feel yourself already soaking through your underwear, making them feel even thinner than they already are.

You can tell Ash notices it too, his fingers moving down your ass, inching closer to your pussy, clearly having felt the wet spot you’re spreading on his shorts and wanting to feel it for himself. “Mind was wandering while I sat in traffic… thought about that time we got caught in that big jam driving home from the airport? Been so long since I’d seen you… you didn’t want to delay our reunion any longer so you started jerking me off right there,” he remembers, breath heavy. 

For a brief second you think he might pick you up and take you inside, fuck you against the glass door or maybe on the table in the entryway. But instead he keeps moving his hips with yours, biting his lip as the friction builds. "Got so hard remembering your lips wrapping around my cock just as I started to cum… I was so sure someone was going to see us but you couldn't give less of a fuck… Jesus, baby, you're dripping." His fingers dance over the wetness that’s spread down to your thighs and you breathe his name as he stills and pulls your panties to the side, sliding his fingers through your folds.

You brace yourself on his shoulders as he teases your clit. “Thought about you all day, Ash... was so ready to let you have me however you wanted as soon as I got home… but then you weren’t here… had to do it myself, think about you some more.” You’re not sure if you’re making sense but you’re so far gone you don’t really care and judging by the look on his face as he watches you grind into his hand, he doesn’t either.

“Saw your vibe on the nightstand, wondered what I’d missed out on,” he laughs, pressing your clit a few more times before bringing his fingers to his mouth and licking them clean. “Might have to ask for an encore performance, you know I love watchin’ you, baby.”

You feel his cock throb beneath you, as if to back up his claim. You groan and grip the tent in his shorts, pulling the material slack against him and squeezing, watching in awe as precum seeps through the fabric, leaving his bottoms almost as wet as yours. You can’t stop picturing how angry and red his cock must be from leaking like this; you decide you need to see it and pull him out of his shorts, whining when you see how shiny and wet he is for you.

You tap his cock on your clothed clit, rolling your hips over him, the both of you moaning at the motion. As good as it feels, it’s not enough and you push your panties to the side again and rub his tip directly against you, whimpering as he growls your name, his hands flying to your hips to keep you moving. 

Ashton’s fingers dig into your skin as he holds you against him, thrusting steadily through your wet folds. In your hazy state, you have the briefest thought of slipping him inside you but you’re already sure you could cum from this and it’s just feeling so good… has anything ever felt this good? You don’t want to stop. As you slide your pussy over his length, you can feel every ridge, every vein, you swear you can even feel his pulse as you move against his cock. You can’t stop.

“So fucking wet, baby,” he pants, hips moving wildly now. He slaps your ass a couple times, partly hoping it’ll get you moving faster and partly hoping it’ll get you to cum sooner because he’s not sure how much longer he can hold out. “Were you this soaked when you played with yourself earlier?”

You moan when you feel the sting of his palm. “Of course not,” you huff, nearing your end. “Nothing’s ever as good as when I’m with you… fuck Ash… love your cock so much, don’t even need it inside me to get off,” you ramble as you move eagerly on him. A few breathless whimpers later, you’re grabbing onto his shoulders as you cum and shake against him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck,” he groans, pushing through your wetness once more just as it gets to be too much. You feel his cock jump and then he’s shooting cum all across your pussy; you gasp when you feel the warmth of his release on your thighs, a stark contrast to your cool, exposed skin.

Ashton tries to keep his eyes open so he can watch himself cover you in rope after rope but between the noises you’re making and the relief of finishing, he has to let his head fall back in bliss. You lean over him, softly nibbling at his lips as he comes down. 

“Hi,” you coo as his eyes flutter open.

“Hey,” he sighs, dazed.

“Think you ruined my panties,” you smirk.

Ash grins devilishly. “Is that a complaint?”

You coyly shrug and squeal as he suddenly presses the latch on the armrest, laying the chair flat, settling back to easily hoist you up over his face. You let out a desperate “Oh! Ash!” as his tongue licks you clean, eagerly moving across your folds and your thighs, mixing his cum with yours and swallowing it all down.

As he pulls away, he flicks over your clit a couple times, laughing warmly as you nearly jump out of his hold. “Relax, baby, I’m just playin’,” he soothes, pressing a soft peck to your pussy and each of your legs before moving you off of him.

Neither of you can seem to hold back the satisfied smiles painting your faces as you resituate yourselves: him putting his cock away and readjusting his chair, you peeling off your underwear and pulling your hoodie back down before crawling back into his arms.

You lay against his chest and the two of you bask in euphoric silence for a few minutes, curling into each other as the late night breeze picks up. You start to wonder what he’ll do if you fall asleep out here, when he reaches for the long-forgotten pipe, sparking the lighter to finish the bowl he started before you got frisky.

Your eyes meet as he pulls his hit and when he’s done, you press your lips to his, inviting him to pass the smoke from his mouth to yours. You easily finish off the bowl together like that and then you’re back on his chest again, sated and stoned.

“Sorry you had a shit day, love,” Ashton murmurs, pecking your forehead.

“Same… but it’s kinda funny to think that the shittiest days always seem to lead to some of my favorite nights with you,” you muse, softly sighing as he wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tight.

————-

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[1kook]

distractions

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

summary: “Soft.” / “No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.” tags: gamer kook, soft bf jeon, extensive knowledge of the MCU (Mario Cinematic Universe) warnings: nsfw; mostly tit play, dry humping, slight praise, jizzing in ur pants like ur fifteen again wc: 3k barely 

when u have 34827 other fics to finish but ur brain hyper focuses on this image at 1 in the morning. not proofread bc idk ppl 

ty for all the nice comments on skirt chasers btw<333

There were a lot of things about Jungkook that you didn’t learn until you were official. Like the fact he rarely matches his socks unless they’re cool socks. Or that he prefers his pancakes pre-drizzled with syrup. Not necessarily bad things, just aspects the general public wouldn’t normally see. In fact, the worst “trait” you’ve learned about Jungkook in the past year is how easily distracted he can get. Nothing crazy, just tiny actions, like forgetting to eat for three hours because he refuses to leave his Wii until he can beat the guys in three rounds of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the Mushroom Kingdom stage. Strangely specific, but it’s Jungkook and you’ve long since learned he’s an enigma.

Times like now, when you creep up behind him as he continues screeching into his headset, voice cracking every now and then in that adorable way it does when he’s overwhelmed. You are no stranger to Jungkook’s apartment, having visited more times than you can count, and even dropping by and doing a little dusting while he was on tour. However, you’re surprised you can see the back of his coconut hair from the low backing of his new computer chair. He’d told you he recently threw away his big leather, super villain gaming chair because it’d started to tear, but it was a fact you hadn’t really paid much attention to.

Now, however, you’re feeling a little happy he did, because it means you can slide your palms around his shoulders in somewhat of a back hug. It’s way better than having to walk all the way in front of him, and you bite down on a grin when he mutters the softest “hi, baby.”

“Which stage are we battling on today?” You murmur, pinching the tip of his mic to twist it away. Faintly, you can hear Taehyung’s voice shout a greeting your way.

Another button smash of his remote, hands enveloping the tiny device. “Wii Fit Studio with Wario,” he replies, eyes flickering across the screen like his life depends on it. You snort.

“I thought you hated Wario,” you point out, and move with him when he jumps after being shot off the screen.

He looks at you for the first time as he waits for his character to respawn. “Changed my mind. He’s just misunderstood. Listen to my theory, babe,” he starts, and you let go of him because you have the back of a ninety year old war veteran and can only hunch over for so long. You take up a very bodyguard-esque position behind him, watching him play and gently pressing your thumbs into his shoulders. “Imagine this. You’re a kid trying to have fun and this other kid who looks exactly like you but better is somehow also cooler than you.”

You hum, letting go of his shoulders to toy with his hair. You pull it into a makeshift ponytail and giggle, not that Jungkook minds, too immersed in his game and his sudden loving Wario speech to care. “Then, you get older and this same dude is still getting all the credit for being exactly like you. On top of that, his little brother is doing the same to your little brother! I’d be so pissed.”

You let his hair drop, and then quickly brush the strands away from his face when he whines. “Uh huh. But theoretically speaking, aren’t you the Mario of your little universe?” Jungkook is silent. “If we’re going by your little story, I hardly doubt there’s another Jeon doing better than you,” you point out.

Jungkook’s Wario gets blown off the screen for the last time, and he’s left blankly staring at the screen. You poke his neck. “I don’t wish to discuss this further,” he says rather matter of factly. You laugh, shaking him and his seat. “Baby, why would you say that!” He cries.

You smile, flicking the switch on his headset before pushing it off his head. Jungkook moans again, head lolling back to glare up at you. “I finally come to terms with the fact that Mario is the true asshole, just to find out I’m Mario? Fucking absurd.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, fingers dancing down the stretched column of his neck. “Listen, no one told you to go out and create an entire deep backstory for the Mario Cinematic Universe.”

He scoffs, eyes fluttering shut as he continues basking in your soft caresses. “The MCU,” he chuckles under his breath. On screen, Taehyung is still fighting with whoever else they were playing with tonight, a little Isabelle and Dark Samus dancing across the screen.

Meanwhile, you’re still absentmindedly running your fingertips along Jungkook’s skin. For a second, you think he’s asleep by the deepening of his breaths, his body so soft and relaxed beneath your touch, but then he gets one of those weird twitches of his, and pushes his head between your breasts.

“Ah,” he sighs, eyes still shut. “Soft.”

“No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.”

The little shit snuggles closer at your words. “My favorite place in the world,” he croons, and you pinch his neck for his stupidity. “Tell me when they’re done,” he mumbles, sounding as if he’s actually gonna fall asleep.

You relent, continuing your gentle massaging of the muscles in his neck as you tune into the match on screen. You’re not exactly sure which one Taehyung is, but your gut tells you he’s probably playing as Isabelle, so you root for her. You’re weirdly into it, jumping every time a good spar happens.

By the time the match ends (literally only like 4 minutes later) and you check on your boyfriend, he’s snuggled his way between the valley of your breasts, his cute nose poking out from between. “Oh my god,” you sigh, having to take a momentary pause to collect yourself from the sight.

Jungkook giggles.

“Well. Taehyung’s done,” you inform him, and he hums though he doesn’t really seem to care about Smash anymore. His hands go slack around his remote, crawling up to dwarf yours.

He sighs, sounding so happy with himself. “Baby, you’re so soft,” he hums, and you try desperately, and you mean desperately, to ignore the sudden drop of his voice, his hands ever so gently tangling with yours.

You try to hit him with the facts, because you know where this will go if you don’t. “Well, breasts are made up of mostly fatty tissue, and lobes for producing milk,” you inform him.

Contrary to your goal, the handsome smile that envelopes his face has you fighting down the curl in your stomach. You can never win.

“You know I love when you talk anatomical to me,” he purrs, and it takes everything in you to not punch him straight in those pearly whites.

You don’t have enough time to respond, too caught up in a mental pep talk to re-evaluate what your body considered attractive. Jungkook’s corny jokes should definitely not be high on the list, but your rock hard nipples said otherwise. “So, you gonna let me suck on them or what?”

“I hate you,” you groan, reaching over to completely unplug Jungkook’s headset because you were absolutely terrified of creating an accidental porno with your celebrity boyfriend.

Jungkook chuckles. “No you don’t,” he teased, finally wiggling his way away from you to whirl his seat around. “Could feel your nip nops pressing into my forehead. No bra today? She’s bold.”

“She’s bold and embarrassed that her boyfriend calls them nip nops,” you sigh, climbing into his lap. His remote presses hard against your thigh, and you yelp before he tugs it out and throws it on the desk behind him. Vaguely, you register the screen lighting up behind Jungkook, but then he’s nudging your shirt upwards.

He’s barely brushed his hands against you, but you’re already shivering and squirming in his lap. “Relax for me, baby,” he assures you, a new depth slowly creeping around his words. “Gonna take care of you, alright?”

You nod, breath already caught in your throat just from the way he looks at you. He flashes you another smile, bunny teeth slightly pressed against his lower lip, before he’s pushing your shirt above your chest, and marveling at your boobs.

You don’t miss the way his gaze becomes glossy, eyes hyper focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Just as you’re about to urge him to do something, he’s reaching up to brush his thumb around your nipple. “Oh,” you blurt out, the skin around your nipple rising with goosebumps.

Jungkook lets out a soft huff of air at your reaction. “So sensitive. Bet I could make you come just by touching your tits, baby.”

You scoff, choking back another sound when he does the same to the other nipple. “I wanna say I doubt it, but I feel like you’ll prove me wrong,” you retort.

At this, Jungkook smirks. “Oh, so now it’s an expectation?” He smiles, and it’s the last angelic side of him you see before he’s ducking down and latching his supple lips around your breast.

Immediately, your back arches forward, hands scrambling to grip onto his shoulders as he licks across your breast. “J-Jeon, wait—“ you cry, body shaking at the way his tongue dances around your nipple.

Your hands tangle themselves in his hair, tugging and twisting it as he flicks his tongue back and forth, knocking it against the hard pebble. You moan, and almost choke when he pulls away with a lewd pop.

His lips are glossy from his own saliva, red from the friction. He’s looking at your glistening breast like a starved man, thumb returning to glide over his own messy artwork. “So pretty,” he hums, Puckering his lips to blow a soft tuft of air against it. You shiver. “Aren’t you the softest little thing,” he says, one hand falling to your waist and gently easing you closer to his crotch. His sweatpants do nothing to conceal how he’s feeling.

You hate to admit how your insides had turned into a Fruit Gusher the second he started sucking on your boob, and now that you think of, you'd be absolutely embarrassed if you did come from just this.

As if sensing your inner turmoil, Jungkook meets your gaze. “I fucking knew it,” he says, slightly out of breath. You furrow your eyebrows, to which he pointedly raises his and gestures to his crotch. “You started pressing down so hard on me the second I got my mouth on you,” he brags, and as if to punctuate his statement, grinds his hips upward into you. “Did sucking your titty make you that wet, doll?”

Your cheeks flush at his words. Belatedly, you nod, your eyes falling to his lips that quirk up into a smile. “Oh, you’re just so desperate to be touched, aren’t you?” He continues, and then reaches up to pinch your nipple between two rough fingers.

You gasp, body arching into him. The pain is new, but definitely welcomed. “Yes,” you cry out, hand reaching out to grapple around his wrist. Though you try to tug it away, it feels disgustingly good and you know he knows, which is why he gives it a slight tug.

Finally, when he lets go of you, he doesn’t hesitate to lower himself down by your other, ignored breast. “I wanna see you cream your shorts, okay? So I’m gonna suck your other titty until you’re near tears, baby,” he states, before giving you a soft push of his hips.

“Please, be gentle,” you choke out, words stuck the moment he wraps his lips around you. This time, he’s ruthless with his tongue. He traces it all over, tonguing your nipple like a lollipop. It feels nice, the wet caress, that you don’t see that bite coming at all. You moan, body unconsciously pushing away from him in surprise.

“Nuh uh,” Jungkook tuts, strong arms wrapping around your lower back to bring you back into his embraces. This closer position has your core pressing down directly over his dick, and the sudden double stimulation has your vision momentarily going white. “Gonna give you a pretty little bite right under your tit, doll,” he announces, and in a scary act of trust, presses his fingers into your spine until you’re staring at the ceiling, the only thing supporting you his strong arms. He nudged your breast with his nose until he finds the perfect spot to place his impromptu hickey.

It’s right against the bottom curve, where your skin folds over, that he settles on. “Need you to to sit nice and still for me. You can do that, right baby?” Jungkook says, big doe eyes looking up at you. You nod your head quickly.

His teeth are cold, unlike the rest of his mouth. “Jungkook!” You moan, toes curling and thighs attempting to clamp shit. They hit the outside of the chair instead, slightly squeezing around his thin waist. “You’re s-so good to me,” you wail, pushing down into his covered cock for friction.

As much as you wanted to act like this wouldn’t affect you, your body is no liar. Fingers tangled in his long curls, you find yourself gently rutting against him. Much to your surprise, this makes him break away, a thin bridge of saliva connecting his mouth to your chest. You mourn when it finally breaks.

“Told you to stay still, doll,” Jungkook warns, one set of long fingers sprawling on the small of your back as the other reaches up. “You had all the time in the world to work yourself on me, but you wanna choose now?” He gently reprimands you, twisting your nipple between two pinched fingers. You mewl. “Promise you’ll be good?”

“I can’t,” you whine, desperation seeping into your voice as your traitorous hips jolt forward again. You nearly fall onto him when a particular nudge of his cock over your core feels just right. “Want your cock so bad,” you wail, throwing all hesitation out the window as you begin full on humping yourself against his crotch.

Jungkook sighs, trying to act annoyed with you but the twitch of his cock beneath you cannot lie. “Well I’m not done having fun with you,” he says, though the way his words are tinged with complaints, you can tell he’s trying hard not to pout. Nonetheless, he latches his mouth around your breast again, and you nearly faint when he rolls your nipple between his teeth.

“Jeon,” you cry, looking down with probably the world’s worst quadruple chin only to catch him absolutely savoring your titty. He’s got his eyes closed, pink tongue licking across every inch he can get. His arms are wrapped around the smallest part of your waist like he can’t possibly fathom letting you go. When he moans, a whole new found wetness coats your walls. You choke on a sob, “I-I love you, Jungkook.”

You can feel a smirk pressed around your breast. It’s this moment when Jungkook finally gives up on his little quest to tame you, hips bucking up to meet your offbeat grinds against him. He pulls off your breast with another wet pop, though he’s slightly lower than you from how consumed he was when sucking you tits. He has to make a little effort to stretch his neck up to look at you, and even then it’s over the top of his nose that he gazes at you.

His lips pucker slightly, and the next time you grind down onto him has them brushing against your lower lip. “That’s it,” he croons, admiring the different expressions that contort your face as you become closer and closer to your orgasm. “Come all over your pretty panties for me, baby,” he encourages, sucking your lower lip between his.

His mouth had been so dangerous to you today, licking and sucking in all the right spots, but nothing has ever felt as right as having it on yours. “I-I’m sorry,” you whimper, fingers knitting themselves in his hair.

“Don’t be,” he comforts, gripping your hips and swiveling you in a circular motion. “Next time you’ll do better, won’t you?”

You nod, head bouncing like a bobble head. He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your thighs twitch. “I was gone for so long,” he rambles, hips picking up their pace the second he hears your breath hitch in your throat. “Didn’t think you’d become so sensitive and needy.”

A faint smile passes through your lips, and your toes curl and your belly tightens in that delicious way it does right before orgasm. Another grind against Jungkook, and he sighs “I love you,” as you cream your pants like a dweeby high schooler being touched for the first time.

Jungkook’s gentle movements halt the moment he sees that orgasmic face overtake you, pressing soft smooches all over the bottom half of your face, peppering your lips with them, until your fingers finally loosen in his hair.

“Fuck, I’m embarrassed,” you huff out, feeling gross and sticky in all the worst spots. Jungkook chuckles, and you can still feel his hard cock nudging the insides of your thighs.

“Nah,” he says. “It’ll make it easier for me to slide in.”

Even in your post orgasmic state, his words have a brand new coil of heat revving up. God, you were whipped for him. “Bed?” You ask, and he nods as you clamber off his lap, tugging down your shirt.

Immediately, he whirls around and catches sight of his abandon Smash game. “Huh.” He says, and you already feel the distraction staple itself into his mind. “Have you ever noticed how Dark Pit—“

You cut him off, gliding your hands around his neck and slowly craning it back until you can give him a tiny Spider-Man kiss. “If you make me cum a second time I promise I’ll listen to whatever theory you have about him,” you purr, punctuating your words with a tiny smooch.

The screen is off in record time.

[marvelsdc22]

The Agent V.S. The Assassin

Intro: Hello, lovelies!! I hope you guys are having a good day/night!! This one was requested by an anon, I hope you enjoy!! Also, I want to make a pt. 2 of this but I don’t know who to choose so tell me whether you want it to be Natasha, Maria, or both!! :)

Note: Y/N is an agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. This is so filthy, I literally couldn’t stop myself and I don’t know whether to feel ashamed or what lol

Word Count: 1853

Would you be willing to write a smutty fanfic x female reader love triangle with either Natasha and Maria Hill or Kara(or Alex) and Lena Luthor? Preferably where the reader likes one of them and the other swoops in to get her? Could be dramatic but super sweet.

18+ only, bby’s

During a debriefing, you found yourself once again staring at Maria, you couldn’t help it, you were drawn to her and you liked her a lot, you were sure she noticed since she was very observant but she never did or said anything, leaving you to believe this was a completely one-sided crush, but it didn’t stop your heart from being drawn to her even though you were sure it would lead you to heartbreak.

After the meeting, Maria asked you to stay a moment longer and you thought how this was your chance to admit your feelings, that was until she introduced you to the red-head named Natasha “Y/N, I want you to be in charge of her, just make sure she doesn’t get into trouble” Maria said, looking at you and smiling when you nodded “Great, I’ll let you two go then” she said, shooing you both away.

“So…” You said once you guys left the room, looking at Natasha who had yet to say anything but was staring at you “You’re very pretty” she said finally, smirking slightly as she watched you get flustered before she walked away from you, leaving you to be a stuttering, flustered mess.

xxx

A few months later, you and Natasha had grown closer, it not going unnoticed by Maria, she felt jealousy bubble up every time she saw the two of you together, whether it was the two of you working at your desk or you two laughing at something she was unaware of, finally one day she found you alone at your desk, sure she could’ve called you into her office but that would make you suspicious.

She walked over to your desk and gave you a small smile “Miss Y/L/N” she said, watching as you looked at her and gave her a small smile “Miss Hill… What can I do for you?” You asked, leaning back in your chair and raising an eyebrow when she seemed to struggle with her words before she regained her composure “Dinner? Tonight?” She asked, looking at you and watching your eyes widen before you nodded “Sure, dinner sounds great” you said, giving her a smile which she returned “I’ll pick you up at 8” she said before retreating back to office while you sat there, stunned at what just happened.

A while later, you were working with Natasha on some paperwork when she realized you were a little distracted “What’s got you so distracted?” She asked teasingly, watching your face flush before you looked at her “I have a date with Maria tonight” you said, looking at her and watching as she looked slightly taken back before she regained her neutral expression “Oh? That’s great, but really out of the blue” she said, feeling the jealousy build inside her like it usually did when you mentioned Hill “It is, but she seemed sincere” you said, giving a shrug before glancing back at the papers “Lets get back to work” you said, getting back to it while Natasha contemplated what she would do to win you back.

xxx

“Thank you again for joining me” Maria said, looking at you with a smile which you returned “I’m glad you invited me, dinner was amazing” You said, smiling at her as she led you back up to your apartment and the two of you stopping in front of your door, staring at one another before you broke the silence “Do you… Wanna maybe… Come in for coffee?” You asked, knowing that was the oldest trick in the book but it was all you could think of “Of course” Maria said, smiling at you before following you inside.

As soon as the door was shut, Maria had you pinned back against the door and you moaned into her mouth as she started unbuttoning your blouse “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this” Maria husked, all but tearing your blouse off once the buttons were undone “Oh I think I know” you breathed, reaching behind her and unzipping her tight, black dress and pushing the straps down her arms “You were planning this” you moaned, seeing she wasn’t wearing a bra “You know me… Always prepared, now pants off” she said sternly, you eagerly complying.

Before long, Maria had you pinned on the couch as she attacked your neck, you gasping when she sucked on the skin just below your ear and bucking up into her “Please” you begged, moaning and arching your back when she took one of your pert nipples into her mouth “Fuck!” You cried when you felt the hand not holding down your arms ghost over your soaked core “Tease” you said, trying to move your arms but she was much stronger than you and trying to glare at her when you heard her chuckle only for her fingers to run over you once more, causing you to groan and throw your head back “Patience, my dear” Maria said, slowly kissing down your body.

You squirmed as she seemed to press a kiss everywhere she could as she trailed down, slowly but surely making her way down to where you wanted her most and releasing your arms when she pressed a kiss to your inner thigh “So beautiful” she whispered, pressing a kiss to your other thigh before she looked at you “What do you want?” She asked, you looking at her and seeing her pupils blown and full of lust “Fuck me” you said, locking eyes with her and watching her smirk “Gladly” she said before burying her face between your thighs, causing you to cry out and grip at her hair with one hand while the other held onto the armrest of the couch for dear life.

Every lick of her tongue sent a new wave of pleasure through you, throwing your head back and releasing a loud moan when she wrapped her lips around that bundle of nerves and sucked “Maria!” you moaned, your eyes shut tight and gasping when you felt her slip a finger into you, knowing you wouldn’t last long if she kept that up “Ma-Maria-“ you tried to warn before you saw white, your back arching as you released, tears leaking from your eyes as she carefully worked you through your orgasm “That’s it, baby girl” she cooed, watching as you came down from your high and looked at her “That was…” you said, causing her to smile and nod “It was, continue this in the bedroom?” She asked, smirking at you when you nodded at her enthusiastically.

xxx

A few days later, you were walking down a hall when you were all of a sudden pulled into a closet “Hey-“ you started to protest before you felt lips on yours, you not knowing why but you melted into the kiss and looked at the person in front of you when they rested their forehead on yours “Nat?” You whispered, able to smell her usual perfume which gave her away “I like you, Y/N” she breathed, pulling you close to her and sending your heart through the roof, knowing you were now in deep shit if two of the most powerful woman you knew liked you, question was, who did you actually like, but before you could think more on it, Natasha captured your lips with hers once more.

You moaned and wrapped your arms around her neck as she pushed the bottom of your skirt up “Nat, what if we’re caught?” You asked, pulling back which gave her the chance to press kisses to your neck “So what? Isn’t that part of the thrill” she said, lightly nipping your neck and causing you to swallow back moans “You just have to be quiet” she said, lightly grinding against you which made you realize something, she was packing and that alone made you have to bite the back of your hand to quiet the moan you released, gasping when she ran her hand over your now soaked panties “So wet for me already” she teased, pushing your panties out of the way enough for her to slip a finger into you, causing you to bite more on your hand as you groaned out what sounded like her name “That’s it, baby girl” she purred into your ear, you burying your face into her shoulder.

She teased you for a bit longer before you felt her shift and her zipper to her pants being unzipped, her pushing her pants and underwear down enough to pull out the fake dick out and gently run it along your wet core “You want this, baby girl? Hm?” She husked, feeling you nod against her shoulder and causing her to tsk “Use your words, baby girl” she scolded, looking at you and hearing you groan out a yes before she lifted you up and easily slipped into you, you throwing your head back and moaning a little too loudly, her covering your mouth with her hand “You don’t want everyone to hear how much of a slut you are, do you?” she said, thrusting into you and you letting out small gasps as she did, when you seemed like you were going to be okay sound wise, she dropped her hand to your waist so she could speed up her thrusts, you burying your face into her shoulder once more and biting her shoulder.

“You want more, baby girl?” She asked, smirking when she felt you nod until you remembered you needed to say it “Please, more” you begged, clinging to her as she pounded into you “Nat, I’m c-close” you moaned, tightening your grip on her and feeling one of her hands move down to your clit “Let go, baby girl” she purred into your ear, causing you to cry out her name into her shoulder and tense up, her helping you ride out your release and whispering praises into your ear as you came down from your high “Nat” you said, her gently setting you down and helping you fix yourself before she fixed herself “I know, baby girl” she said, pressing a kiss to your lips before she walked out of the closet, acting like nothing happened while you stood there trying to catch your breath.

xxx

As days past after the event with Natasha, both her and Maria would leave little things on your desk or take you out for nice lunches or dinners which made it even harder for you to even try to choose between the two of them, you cared for them both deeply and you didn’t want to hurt either of them but you knew you had to decide sooner or later, sooner happening when Maria called you and Natasha into her office “So, Y/N… Which one of us do you want?” Maria asked, looking at you as she stood behind her desk with her arms crossed and Natasha standing to the side, leaning against the wall and you closing your eyes as you thought of who you would want to be with, taking a deep breath as you looked at both of them “I want to be with…”

End Note: I hope you guys enjoyed!! If you want to be added to a Taglist, shoot me a DM or an Ask!! Remember to let me know which you want for the next part!! Have a good day/night!! :)

Requests Closed

[purplesurveys]

924

Do you have a taste in your mouth right now? What of? Just the faint taste of coffee since I have a cup at the moment but haven’t drunk from it in the last few minutes. Which is your least favourite day of the week? I’ve lost the concept of the days of the week for a few months now, man. Back when we used to do things, though, I hated Sundays as I felt loneliest on that day. It was always an automatic thing too so I had little control over it. If told to clean the house, would you be more inclined to clean one room really well or clean all of the rooms with hardly any effort? Clean all rooms with maximum effort. I’d be really bugged if I didn’t strive to be perfect with the whole place lol. Do you put glue on the object you're sticking down or on the paper? Object, so that the amount of glue I’m putting would be accurate. What was your last dream about? I don’t remember the details anymore but at the very least, I know it was very vivid since I remembered it throughout the morning. I’ve been having very detailed dreams lately – it’s the depression for sure. 

What is your favourite part of the last movie you watched? Haven’t seen a movie in a while but the last thing I watched in full was The Crown; Vanessa Kirby as Princess Margaret really shone through in the last episode I saw. Have you stuck any stickers to the computer you're using? I put all my stickers onto my laptop case but not the laptop itself. I haven’t had the case on for a while now though, since I’m always just at home now. Do you ever write or talk to yourself in your head when you're bored? Yes or when I’m feeling upset, as long as I’m alone. I’ve found that talking to myself is a healthy way to address and deal with my emotions. What interests you the most about other people? What I find interesting always varies. I have friends who I find interesting for their music tastes; some others for their knowledge of random trivia; some for their jobs, etc. It’s always different. Do you ever take random pictures out of boredom? What of? Not really. If I take photos it’s because I want to remember a moment or because I find something cute or funny. Basically anything that elicits a strong emotion out of me, I’m bound to take a picture of. Do you prefer listening to things through headphones or speakers? Headphones. How many siblings do you have? Do you get on with them? I have two siblings. I only get along with my sister; I have not talked to my brother since last year and have no desire to again. Would you rather live in a log cabin or a brick house? Mmm I’d take the brick house. Log cabin would be nice for a quick getaway, but I wouldn’t want it to be my permanent home. There’s a psychological factor in there and I just think that staying in a log cabin would make me feel suffocated eventually, haha. Do you have a calendar up for this year? I have a ‘Job Applications’ calendar that I’m currently monitoring, and it tracks the applications I’ve sent out to different companies and how long I’ve been waiting for a response from each of them. Really needing some positive vibes and energy since I actually just got my first rejection notice today. Other than that this year has been pretty fucking boring and there’s been little need to keep an active calendar. What was the very first CD you bought? The first CD I remember asking my parents to buy for me was like the High School Musical official soundtrack. I was big on Disney as a kid and wasn’t a big fan of any solo acts or bands up until I was around 10. Do you keep things like old train tickets, etc? Yessssssss. Do you like your smile? Why (not)? I like it; I find my smile friendly and warm. I just hate smiling with my teeth at the present since one of my front teeth protrudes. Can’t wait to get braces again. Would you rather be able to sing or dance? Why? Dance. Dancers are super hot, lmao. What was your favourite colour when you were a kid? Do you still like it? It was purple/violet and it was mostly influenced by my great-grandma who lovedddd the color and had it everywhere in her home. When she passed away, my love for the color slowly faded away and I don’t think too much of it now. Have you ever said 'lol' in real life? Haha yeah sometimes. I pronounce it as ‘lohl’ and never ‘el oh el’ though. Do you like your friend's parents? I like most of their parents, though I’m aware that some have abusive tendencies. Most of the parents are super nice, though. JM’s mom cooked a big lunch for us once and his dad buys like four party-sized boxes of pizza every time we come over, Angela’s parents treat me like their own kid, Gab’s mom constantly tells me she loves me...it’s in the little things. How many times have you moved? I can remember just the two times, but I know that we moved several times more when I was an infant. Have you ever refused to try a certain food? Which? Most stuff with fruits, hah. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, like when a sushi roll has mango or if I’m having banoffee pie, but I almost always refuse a meal with some kind of fruit in it. What's your favourite type of soup? Not really big on soup. I just like miso. Very occasionally I’ll have mushroom soup too. What is your favourite candle scent? I don’t buy candles nor do I know people who regularly get them, so I’m not very familiar with the different scents. Does the sight of blood make you feel ill? In real life, it would. I always have to look away whenever Gabie gets a nosebleed ha. But I have no problem watching bloody wrestling matches and I actually enjoy the bloodier ones. Super weird quirk of mine. What do you call it when you're sick anyways? (Sick, ill, not well, etc) If I’m referring to a fever I call it sick/ill/not feeling well. If I feel like throwing up I say I’m getting dizzy/need to vomit. I’ve never referred to puking as ‘getting sick,’ and it took me a very long time to realize that it was a common American saying, haha. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy? I did, and I felt super betrayed when I put my tooth under my pillow only to see it again the next morning. If you had to appear in a movie, which genre would you choose? Coming of age. What do you do with unwanted gifts? I keep them, since I still appreciate the effort of the gift-giver. Are there any clothes you haven't worn in ages, that you've suddenly started wearing again? HAHA yes. There will be rare instances where I get to go out and I always take the time to look stylish as all fuck, even though I’m only running an errand and wearing flashier pieces would be so unnecessary. I just miss dressing up and looking cute, man. Do any keys on your keyboard stick? Like, if they’re sticky? No. Would you rather own a laptop or a computer? Laptop. Love it when things are portable. Do you think you'll look at old photos of yourself and be embarrassed? My teenage years are definitely bad especially with regard to my fashion choices lol, but so are everyone else’s so I’m not super embarrassed. I cringe at the photos but I wouldn’t mind if my friends poked fun at them because chances are I’d join in too. What was the worst hairstyle you ever had? I always hated it whenever my mom took me to the salon to have my hair rebonded. That kind of look has never worked with my face shape and so I usually did everything for my hair to start curling up quicker and go back to its original form. Do you like t-shirts with sayings on them? Why (not)? Not really. It’s just not a personal preference. I like plain or slightly printed pieces. Do you click on the adverts at the side of the screen? No. Have you ever coughed and sneezed at the same time? I’m sure it’s happened before. Are you embarrassed to show people your ID photo? Nah. Whatever dude. Have / would you ever become a cheerleader? I haven’t, but I would have loved to. We don’t have a cheerleading club or varsity in my old school though so I was never able to hone my skills, if ever. What's the longest you've gone without eating? Maybe a little more than 24 hours. What is one of your biggest irrational fears? Commercials airing at night. I find jingles and graphic effects unsettling by a certain hour lol. What comes up when you press Ctrl + V? “I reeeeally miss seeing you and your purple things and seeing you give glares to people who deserve it. what a lodi <333” omg aw. It’s Jane’s birthday today and I copied that bit of my greeting to move it to another paragraph so that my message would flow better. Out of the bands you listen to, were most of them around before or after you were born? After. When did you last jump out of fright? I don’t remember. Are you currently waiting on something? What? For a company to take me in. Does time pass slowly or quickly when you're on the internet? Usually it’s quickly, but now that I feel more and more useless around the house, time’s been more slow and for the first time the distractions of the internet haven’t been working. What about when you're at school / work? Depended on the amount of stuff I had to do and whether I’m enthusiastic about them or not. Does the thought of being pregnant gross you out? The thought of giving birth does, but not pregnancy. What was the last thing you made with your hands? I mean I made myself a cup of coffee tonight, but the coffee mix itself was already pre-packaged. I just mixed it with hot water. Are you good at making shadow puppets? I’d say no. Are you more hungry or thirsty right now? Neither. I’ve been so anxious and depressed these days I’m actually skipping every single meal except dinner, and even then I eat very little. I don’t even do it on purpose; my anxiety has simply stopped me from feeling hungry. No idea what the weighing scale’s gonna tell me the next time I check, sigh. Someone hire me plz. God it really sucks being a fresh grad in this current state of the world. Are you prone to headaches? No. They only come out during hectic schedules and stressful weeks. Do you forget things easily? The little and everyday things, like forgetting my school ID at home or where I placed my keys. But I don’t forget things that are more bigger-picture, like birthdays or faces or memories. Do you enjoy going out to dinner? I enjoy it and I terribly miss being able to do it. Would you ever go on a cruise ship holiday? I would and I have. Lots of fun. Would do again and again. What's your favourite sea animal? Dolphins and whales. Do you get coughs or colds more? Coughs.

[danetobelieve]

Faetal Promises || Jeff and Winston

Just one fae promise ... as a treat.

Winston needed a drink. They weren’t above drinking when things got tough. What was that saying? When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing? Something like that. Either way, before Winston could do anything like that they needed several shots of some whiskey that they were certain they would hate. Heading to the bar, they made eye contact with the bar tender. “I …” they paused and looked at the menu, “what should I have? I always feel like I order the wrong stuff and I always end up hating what I’m drinking, so please can you recommend me something I’d like. I love coffee, do you have any coffee-tails? Coffee-cock-tails?�� Looking up at the muscular bartender, Winston’s stomach sunk. Why were they always so hot?

Jeff was pleased to be at work talking again. His boss had been riding his ass over the no talking routine, which apparently as head bartender was ‘unacceptable’. Not like it was his fuckin’ fault, as he tried to express many times. Jeff slid a Karen her margarita, side eyeing her when another person approached the bar looking for recommendations. Jeff grinned at Winston. “Coffee tails?” he said, considering a moment. “Depends on how simple you want it. Irish coffee, rum and coffee, I’ve made an espresso martini before. You got options.” Jeff finished listing off possible cocktails he could make when he realized something. Ah hell, they looked a little young didn’t they? “Maybe slide me your ID first though.” 

Raising an eyebrow gently, Winston fumbled around on the inside of their jacket for their wallet and with the most clumsiest fingers began to slowly and painstakingly begin the process of guiding their ID from the wallet. “Sorry, it’s just, like stuck with another card, just one second,” eventually, after a full minute of fumbling they produced an ID and handed it to Jeff. “What is in an espresso martini?” Winston asked curiously, “because honestly if it is made with coffee and it sounds alcoholic then I am in. You know what, can I get one anyway.” Winston settled down at the bar, taking their seat carefully as they waited for Jeff to make their drink. “What do you normally drink?” they asked curiously.

Jeff bit back grinning from ear to ear as he watched them fumble with their ID. Hilarious. Poor kid. “Take your time,” he said easily. It wasn’t like the bar was hopping tonight anyway, the only other person that paid any kind of attention to him was some woman with the Warden haircut. He stopped being as nice to them as he did since his first encounter with them. He checked the ID and nodded. What was it with the kids these days looking so young all the time? “Expressio, vodka, and coffee liqueur. Not my fuckin favoite to drink, but gets the job done.” He considered a moment as he went to make Winston’s drink. “More of a straight whiskey person.” He considered a moment longer before he realized that Winston should probably be out with friends or something instead of looking around for coffee martinis by themselves at a bar. “Long fucking day?”

In that moment Winston couldn’t have wished more that they were less clumsy, especially in front of the overly attractive bar tender in a slightly too tight shirt. Either way, they weren’t going to be able to avoid that. “I get that, everyone that’s a freshman and stuff now just looks like they’re barely out of middle school, let alone high school. Must be a tough job working out who’s old enough to drink, I guess that’s why they make you ID kids.” Winston frowned. “Everyone drinks Whiskey and I kind of get it, it burns good but I don’t know if I would always want to go for straight whiskey.” They frowned and tapped the table. “Kind of, long … five months?” They weren’t exactly sure they should pour their heart out to a bartender, it was a little cliche. “Things are hectic and I’m trying to do the self care shit, I don’t know if drinking counts but I wasn’t really hungry or in need of pampering so…” they shrugged.

Jeff snorted. “You’d be surprised at how many fuckin’ kids I have to kick out for being fucking underage. I’ve gotten pretty good at figuring out who’s trying to sneak one by me at this point, but it’s always better to check then be fucking sorry later.” It was funny hearing that Winston didn’t always go for straight whiskey though. That had been his drink of choice since he participated in underage drinking. He glanced at Winston as he finished off the Martini and slid it in front of him. Geez, everyone in White Crest always seemed to be having long months. “Drinking is not self care,” he confirmed. “It’s self-distraction. But in moderation that’s not necessarily a fuckin’ bad thing.” Jeff considered a moment, before glancing at the clock. He was almost off and the kid shouldn’t drink alone. “You want shots?” Jeff asked, “I’m drinking after I get off, I’ll do them with you.” 

“Honestly, I used to make fake IDs for those kids back in the day, like when we were in college not high school I’m not completely devoid of responsibility,” Winston had always been good with photoshop and fake IDs weren’t that difficult plus it had paid for the tech that they had needed at the time. “I know the fines and shit are pretty steep, not really worth your time letting some underage teen get drunk when you’re the one who would be in trouble. “Okay, if drinking is self distraction rather then self care, well I definitely need to be distracted,” they nodded, “Fuck yes, I’ll do shots with you. They’re on me, at least like the first three, I’m not made of money unfortunately but I can swing three shots. If you want of course,” Winston wasn’t going to turn down the chance to drink with a hot guy. Besides, he seemed cool. “I’m Winston,” they said sticking their hand out over the bar.

“Trouble maker,” Jeff said. Fake IDs were a big pain in the ass, but at least he could spot a poorly made one a mile away. Someone tried to hand him one with Robert De Niro’s face on it. He almost felt bad the poor kid had wasted money buying the piece of shit. “The fines and shit were pretty awful in Massachusetts, it’s the same here in Maine.” Jeff scowled thinking about it. Of course, his bar in South Boston was packed and rarely full of college students like the ones here were. There was more military personel from the nearby base than students. “This town is fuckin’ wild,” Jeff said. “And I’ve only been here about four months.” Jeff glanced down at Winston’s hand and only hesitated half a second before grabbing it and shaking it. He was in high spirits today, his pheromones were under control. Besides, he wasn’t about to accidentally pheromone some poor fucking kid. “Jeff. Don’t worry about the shots, on the house.” He waved it off before grabbing shot glasses. “Just promise me you’ll do a shot everytime you see me do a shot. Keep up with me.” 

“Don’t worry, I don’t do that anymore and I actually help get a lot of them off of the streets.” Winston at the time had not considered that fake IDs might be used for something other then drinking. “Are you from Massachusetts originally?” Winston asked curiously, “I’ve always just been stuck here, in White Crest. Not that I actually mind.” Winston laughed and raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me that this place is weird? I don’t think that there is a single thing about this place that is at all normal. In fact, I’ve almost died a few too many times because of some of the weird shit going on.” They nodded and took their shot in their hands and looked at it. They didn’t even consider the promise that they were making. “Okay Jeff, I promise that I’ll do a shot everytime I see you do one, please don’t be a super heavy weight drinker.” 

“Former trouble maker then.” And now a narc, so it sounded. Not that Jeff particularly gave a shit, it made his job easier. “Boston born and raised.” He could never imagine growing up in a small town. There were so little people in this town and it was a little disorienting being recognized every time he went to the drug store. Jeff snorted. “This place is fuckin’ weird, I saw a mime creature eat a raccoon. The poor thing.” Jeff grinned though as the kid made the promise. Deirdre did say he should promise bind people, and a little harmless one to help distract the kid from his worries - his deadly worries, apparently - couldn’t hurt. “And to always tip your bartender,” Jeff said seriously, raising his own shot glass before knocking it back.

“Something like that, I just never got caught I guess.” Winston had been a teenager once. They weren’t exactly all that straight laced. They just liked to think of themselves as not stupid. Which was perhaps a little rich, but even still. “Shit, what was Boston like?” Winston asked curiously, they would’ve loved to have experienced life in a ‘big’ city. Wincing at the mention of mimes, Winston hoped that they were truly done for and gone for good. “God, fuck the weird obsession with mimes, they’re so creepy and just not funny at all. That was before they started … eating the wildlife. I just don’t get why they picked mimes y’know?” And cloning and trying to murder everyone. Winston had never really considered tipping their bartender, it was something they did when they remembered it but knowing service staff wages they weren’t sure that it wouldn’t be a bad idea. “Sure, I’ll tip my bartender.” Winston swallowed their own shot in time with Jeff and immediately began coughing, eyes watering from the fiery booze. “Damn, that’s … something.”  

“Boston’s like…” Jeff started, considering a moment. He missed Boston. He missed his friends and his mom. It was better this way though, to stay here and get them away from his uncontrollable pheromones. “A big city with lots of fucking people.” He decided on that breif descriptor, before snorting again at Winston’s description of the mimes. God, he hated them. Ever since that fucking thing had scared his goddamn dog they were on his shitlist. He didn’t even regret having to replace a window from trying to punch the thing. The alcohol burned his throat, but he liked that feeling. Alcohol never bothered him, but he had to keep himself from laughing at poor Winston. “Not a shots fan?” Jeff asked, kindly, swiping up another as he tipped another back. “You get used to the burning, honest.” 

The Whiskey rushed to Winston’s head and swaddled them in a fuzzy feeling that was strangely reassuring. Winston had always liked drinking, but this was almost comforting. Maybe this was why people drank whiskey? Maybe if Winston just didn’t spend the whole time drinking Jack Daniels they’d find out. “Better or worse then our White Crest?” Winston asked with a smirk crossing their face. Jeff was so pretty. Winston normally wouldn’t do shots back to back, but they couldn’t help but feel compelled to knock them back in that moment. They were having a good time and they wanted to at least try and keep up with Jeff. “If you say so, it’s not that I don’t like shots, it’s just that I’m bad at drinking.” Winston wasn’t exactly a party animal. “But I guess you’re going to put that to the test or something like that. Right?” 

Better or worse? Good question. Jeff leaned against the bar, thinking hard for a moment. He wasn't’ sure it was fair to compare the two, not when the hardships he’d faced in both places weren’t necessarily their fault. And that seemed a little too heavy to put on a some twenty-something year old kid. So instead, Jeff said, “Depends on the fuckin’ day.” Jeff was notorious for holding his alcohol, he was a big dude. The rush of whiskey was hardly a problem for him and he grinned. “That’s fucking bullshit - no one’s bad at drinking! There’s no such thing! And I won’t let you get alcohol poisoning kid, don’t worry.” Honestly, it was probably safer for Winston to quit while they were ahead anyway, but still Jeff knocked another back. “What sort of White Crest near-death bullshit are you distracting yourself from tonight?” Jeff asked, curiously. He went to go grab Marty - the Bartender coming up to replace him - to get some water for the both of them. If they were going to get drunk, they would also get hydrated! 

“Wow, I guess I get that.” Winston did not. They had never lived anywhere else and had only left White Crest a few times in their life. Mostly to visit relatives or go on vacation. They had nothing really to compare it to. White Crest was always White Crest irrespective of whether or not it was a Monday or a Thursday. “Well, that is really really reassuring because that was definitely something I had thought of, and absolutely not something I had not considered until you just said it now.” Winston would’ve normally stopped, but why end the fun now. Jeff had promised that he wouldn’t let them get alcohol poisoning and the guy seemed to know what he was doing. Besides, he was a bartender, this was computers for him. Following suit, Winston winced slightly less this time, but they were sure it was still noticeable. “Where to start, some mimes tried to kill me, there’s a woman I’m helping with tech support who might bite me and to make things worse I think I saw a cult attempt a ritual. This place is so fucked.” Maybe they were a bit more drunk then they realised.

Jeff had seen too many college students get alcohol poisoning - he always cut them off before it happened, but somehow they all still fucking drank more. God he hated 21st birthdays more than anything else. But he wouldn’t let Winston get royally fucked over - maybe just enough to cause a headache for the next day. A good reminder to not drink and run away from your problems. Honestly, it was a life lesson that Jeff needed to be reminded about every once in a while. Jeff did, however, pause in his next shot to gape at Winston. He heard a lot of shit from Nic about this kind of thing, but cults and biting tech customers was definitely a new one. “This place is fucked,” Jeff said solemnly. “Fuckin’ Karens trying to kill fairies and squids and shit. And now cults? You should get that creepy tech support customer arrested. Biting isn’t fuckin cool.” And back went another shot. “How you feeling, kid?”

Winston was beyond the point of considering the alcohol that they had consumed. Was it three? Was it four shots? They weren’t above making it five as Jeff reached for another one Winston wasn’t sure if they wanted one but they went for it anyway. They had promised after all. “So fucked, I don’t know how I didn’t see it for so long,” they giggled and shrugged. “I don’t think that police would want to go after her, she’s pretty charming really and so far hasn’t actually tried to bite me, but the threat is ever present. But everything here isn’t the worst, I played truth or dare with some pixies the other day.” Winston was too drunk to really think about what they were saying, normal people didn’t play with pixies. “I’m feeling much better,” they said slapping an arm reassuringly on Jeff’s giant arm. That bicep was really, hard. Swallowing, Winston reached clumsily for their water and sipped it, a little dribbling down their chin for a moment before they wiped it away with the back of their hand and sighed. “I get why you drink whiskey.”

“If she does try to bite you, get that lady locked up, fuck charming. Charm is for losers and people trying to fucking sell you something.” Jeff scoffed, waving it off. Honestly, this woman sounded like a menace to society. But he was more curious about the pixies - weren’t those Fae? He was pretty sure those counted as fae. Deirdre said. “Pixies? You played truth or dare with pixies? Were they nice?” He asked curiously. How come this child was better at finding Fae than he was? He glanced at Winston, and shook off the alcohol that was starting to affect him too. Ah, shit, how many had they had? He slid Winston a napkin, considering as his arm was slapped. He almost jumped off his stool at the unexpected contact, but didn’t. It was fine, he wasn’t even hungry. “Yeah? You think you like it now? How about you watch me just do one more?” Jeff asked.

Winston swallowed more water as their head swam from the whiskey. They were sure that they had drank too much and they weren’t sure why but here they were anyway. “Uh, I think so? They weren’t mean or anything but they weren’t there to make it a super good time, but you know, when you play with pixies you’ve got to be careful about what you say because they’re surprisingly sensitive when it comes to us ‘giant’ people.” Jeff was pretty giant. They took the napkin and stared at it rather than using it to wipe their face before setting it back down unused on the bar and nodding. “Not sure I like it, but it’s strong.” Winston didn’t even consider Jeff’s question. “Fuck yeah, I’ll watch you do another shot. How are you so … not drunk?” 

“Giant people?” Jeff thought about the information a moment. Were pixies small? He knew leprechauns were 2 feet tall. Were they smaller than leprechauns? He’d never met a pixie before. “‘Course you do, you have to be careful what you promise too. Especially to fairies,” Jeff nodded knowingly. “Oh, and don’t call them fairies. Of course I don’t mind, but the real term is fae and others usually fucking mind a lot.” Alcohol always loosened lips, Jefd realized he basically just admitted to being a fairy. Ah fuck. Deirdre awas going to kill him. “One more,” Jeff said, before taking the shot, and reached for his own water. “And then why don’t we get you an uber, kid.”

“Well, you know, they’re like two or three inches tall,” Winston wasn’t sure that was an exact measurement, “but I don’t think they like it when people act as if they’re the ones that are weird. Which is cool, i get it. No one wants to be weird.” Raising an eyebrow, Winston laughed. “Wait, are you a fae or something? I think I knew … most of that, because a fae once accidentally took my name and that was quite the time, but I … you know, I just wondered how you knew all of that.” Winston grinned and watched as Jeff took his shot, their hands moving of their own will, scooping their shot up and knocking it back. “An uber would probably be a good idea, I’m definitely too drunk to drive. But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you’re a fairy if you don’t tell anyone I can do magic. Seems like a fair trade.” 

“We can take names?” Jeff asked, screwing his face up. What the fuck? How did that work? Wait, no! Stop talking about that thing. Right, yes, he now was in charge of getting the magician kid into an uber. You know, Winston seemed like the kind of kid that would be into stage magic, though Jeff wasn’t quite certain why they would want to hide it. Whatever, kids were so nervous about all sorts of things these days. Well, now that he thought about it, kids were always nervous. God. Jeff shook his head, pulling out his phone to order the kid a car. “Alright alright, fair enough. May the alcohol distract you from fucking cults and fucking biters. Fucking White Crest.” Jeff muttered. “Fucking. White Crest.”

“Yeah, but don’t do it. It’s the worst.” Winston was sure that they never wanted to experience that again. Missing a piece of their identity was something else entirely, a truly unique and truly horrible feeling. Winston sat there, extremely drunk for a moment as Jeff ordered them an uber. “I’ll get you back for the uber for sure, and we should, hang out … more … I mean ag-again.” Winston hiccuped comically. Before stumbling towards the car that had just pulled up. “You’re, like, really cool, Jeff.” 

[k-drabblings]

only then (pt. 5)

KIM JIWON (BOBBY) X READER Type | Genre: badboy au | fluff/angst Word Count: 1663 A/N: I thought this was much longer than 1.6k words... Guess not.  Also I do update very very slow, I know. It’s mostly because I have no idea what to write next, and I don’t want to write nonsense. So thank you for your patience. I hope this doesn’t disappoint!  To be honest, it feels a little weird to write about Hanbin after the huge scandal, but it felt weirder leaving him out of the story after including him in the beginning.

Also wtf happened to line breaks? Why is that not an option anymore? This sucks.

part one two three four

Jiwon looked at the well healed scar on his arm fondly, running his finger along the raised ridge. His smile couldn’t help but widen as his phone buzzed. 

[23:22] y/n: i can’t sleep [23:22] jiwon: y? [23:22] jiwon: cause ur too excited to be talking to me? [23:23] y/n: ... zzz ...  [23:23] y/n: o look i fell asleep

He chuckled. Within a matter of days, teasing had already become part of their regular banter. So cute.

[23:23] jiwon: ...  [23:23] jiwon: do u think ur funny or something bc let me tell u rn that u r not [23:23] jiwon: boooooooo [23:24] y/n: if im so unfunny then y r u texting me hmm HMM??? [23:24] jiwon: cause i pity u [23:24] y/n: ...  [23:24] y/n: GOODNIGHT

Even though he knew was joking, his fingers still quickly scrambled to reply. 

[23:24] jiwon: im just kidding!! [23:24] jiwon: ur funny sometimes [23:24] jiwon: a little bit [23:24] jiwon: real little [23:25] y/n: then go talk to ur other super exciting and funny friends y dont u [23:25] jiwon: now dont be jealous [23:25] jiwon: the more time u spend with me the more exciting and fun u become [23:25] y/n: ive only seen u like 3x [23:25] jiwon: thats y ur so not funny

His finger hovered over the keyboard, wondering if he should type out the next line. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he couldn’t help himself. Fuck it. He firmly pressed the upward arrow.

[23:26] jiwon: so i guess we’ve come to the logical conclusion that we should hang out more [23:26] y/n: i guess we have

You felt bold as you sent that last message. Was this considered flirting? You hadn’t known that your heart rate could increase so much within a mere 4 minutes. The past few nights had consisted of increasingly witty and teasing messages - messages that got your heart racing, your face flushing, and your imagination going a little crazy. Nothing even close to romantic had happened between you and him, and yet your ridiculous mind was coming up with possible scenarios that could maybe (just maaaybe) happen in the nearby future. You felt like an silly high schooler again, getting too easily excited over someone you barely knew. You didn’t even know how exactly how old he was or what he did for living. 

But all those unanswered questions just made you more excited - kind of like a good mystery book you just didn’t want to put down. 

[23:27]: jiwon: ok so whens ur next day off

Your breath hitched. You were off the upcoming Thursday, which was in 2 days. You hadn’t expected the next time you were going to see Jiwon to come so soon. You were used to seeing him like twice a month. You knew you could simply lie and give him your next day off, which was in a week or so, but you knew you didn’t want to wait that long.

[23:28] y/n: thursday [23:28] jiwon: ok cool so ill see u then [23:28] jiwon: and if ur busy... [23:28] jiwon: make yourself unbusy thanks

Your lips curled into a smile. How could someone this cute possibly be bad news? 

“You’re distracted, Hyung.” Donghyuk mumbled quietly so Hanbin wouldn’t hear. 

“Hm?” Jiwon murmured. “Nah, I’m good.”

Donghyuk’s eyes narrowed as he carefully tried to peer over Jiwon’s shoulder to see what was keeping him so preoccupied.  A girl’s name. He rolled his eyes. He was more than willing to bet that this was the same girl that had so nicely bandaged Jiwon up that rainy night. “Let’s keep outsiders... outsiders, okay, Hyung?” Donghyuk warned in a hushed tone.

Jiwon immediately shut off his phone screen and gave his younger friend a long hard stare. “I’m not fucking stupid, okay?”

And of course, despite Donghyuk’s words, he still went to see her on Thursday. They met up later in the afternoon, mainly because he slept in well into the afternoon. Since he did his work mainly at night, his sleeping schedule tended to be slightly off. When he woke up, you were getting some errands done - groceries and such. That gave him some time to get dressed and ready - he wanted to look good for the first date.  This is a date right? He hadn’t made it explicitly clear, but he was hoping you were on the same page as he was.

He recalled the the other day that you had said you wanted to try this restaurant that you had seen on some celebrities eating on TV.  And since it was on the other side of Seoul Station, they could walk along Seoullo 7017 along the way. He supposed that would be a good, somewhat nice way to start the date.

And you were delightfully surprised at how much Jiwon had actually planned out. You wouldn’t say it aloud, but you had been expecting somewhat of a haphazard schedule of activities that randomly popped up into his mind. 

“You look cute.” You jokingly scowled. “Are you saying I wasn’t cute before?” He rolled his eyes and laughed. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He put his hands up defensively when he earned a playful punch to the arm. “Hey, you gotta appreciate my honesty, right?” He grinned. “No, but seriously. You should wear dresses more often.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled shyly, having always been slightly awkward at accepting compliments. You glanced down at your outfit. It was a pretty plain dress, but this was the most dressed up he had ever seen you. 

“Where’s the scar from - if you don’t mind me asking?” He asked, pointing to the mark on your forearm. If it hadn’t been for that scar, he probably would have never recognized you. “Nothing cool,” you responded. “Got it while I was helping out at the bakery a while ago. Hot stuff can do that to you sometimes, you know.”  He laughed. “See? You’re already getting funnier - thanks to me.”  You rolled your eyes exaggeratedly but couldn’t help but join him in laughter. 

You were sure he had a fair share of scars all over his body, and also exciting stories behind them. But you were reluctant to ask, afraid that it could ruin the lighthearted mood.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur - partially because Jiwon had convinced you to share a bottle of soju with him during dinner. ‘You can’t enjoy pork belly without soju!’ he had insisted.  You had initially refused, being worried that you might end up blabbering and saying something stupid or embarrassing. But Jiwon was one convincing young man.

But luckily the only embarrassing thing that slipped out was a, “Fine, you’re kinda cute, okay?” after he had pestered you about what you thought about him. And boy, did he enjoy that answer.

You were partially disappointed when the date ended with a simple hug. You probably would have thought he were moving too fast if he had gone in for a kiss, but by no means would you have refused. In fact, as much as you hated to admit it, you'd immediately have shut your eyes and puckered your lips.  But a long, warm hug was what you got tonight. And you weren’t complaining. "Thanks. Today was really fun,” you said with a warm smile.  “Okay, so when can we have fun again?”

All of a sudden, you had something to look forward to every week. Every date with Jiwon was exciting. You got to experience thrilling things like ziplining, but even just sitting at a cafe and chatting got your heart pumping. You felt like your life had been recharged.  You had even bravely kissed him on the cheek when he had dropped you off at your door tonight. 

As Jiwon walked over to work after dropping you off, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. “Jiwon Hyung! Hyung!” Junhoe shouted from down the block. "Where’re you coming from?” He asked, frowning. Wherever Jiwon was coming from, it wasn’t from the direction of his home. Jiwon played it off vaguely. “Just was doing something. Don’t worry about it.” “Come on, tell me!” Junhoe whined. “Why’s it a secret, huh?” Jiwon pressed his fingers against his tall friend’s forehead and gave it a good shove. “Have you ever heard of a personal space? Look it up.” He couldn’t recall the last time anyone had made him so easily excited, and he wasn’t willing to part with you now.

His friends had also noticed that he was constantly in a good mood these past few weeks.  Donghyuk wasn’t too happy about it, but the others seemed to enjoy having a less moody Jiwon around. He wondered if Hanbin knew what Jiwon was getting himself into outside of work. But he didn’t want to tick off Jiwon, so he kept his mouth shut. A pissed off Jiwon was one scary man.

“How long do u plan on keeping this up, Hyung? It’s going to serve as a distraction to you and a danger to her. She doesn’t even know what you really do. If you tell her, do you think she’ll stay?” Donghyuk hissed. “Yeah, right.” “I know. I know.” Jiwon mumbled. This was like the fifth time he had approached him about this issue. He was thankful that Donghyuk hadn’t blabbed to the rest of the guys, but it was a disturbing reminder every time. Why was it so wrong to enjoy it while it lasted?

[rawmeanderson]

bring you back to me ― part iv

ft. jeff skinner plot: when your high school sweetheart gets traded to the same city where you now live and work, your best friend just can’t mind her own business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ warnings. swearing, drinking, a lil bit of steam~  word count: 6.7k notes at the end!!!

You weren’t sure that time had ever passed so slowly as it did as you waited for Sunday.

Friday night after Jeff left your place, you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as you replayed the kiss over and over in your head. The longer you thought about it, the harder it was to fall asleep. Jeff was so much more confident now, the difference was obvious, and that made it even harder to get him off your mind.

To say you fantasized about him that night would be putting it lightly. You hated that just kissing him for that far too short moment seemed to completely ignite your libido, leaving your mind absolutely stuck on his mouth.

Saturday dragged on and on, and you were restless as you forced yourself to run some errands, to clean up a bit around the house. Jeff texted you here and there between practice and spending some time at the gym, and you toyed with the idea of inviting him over. You’d always considered yourself to be independent, and you liked your alone time, but now, all you wanted was for Jeff to be there with you.

Lydia showed up unannounced with pizza and wine sometime in the evening, which turned into the two of you watching Great British Bake Off and bitching about work. It was a nice distraction after having spent most of the day in your own head, and to your surprise, she didn’t bring up Jeff but you were willing to bet that she desperately wanted to. You felt rather sly, Snapping and texting back and forth with Jeff while you and Lydia relaxed, like it was your own little secret.

Lydia stayed late, until you were both practically dozing off on the couch, before heading home, and when she asked what you were doing the next day, that’s why you let it slip that you were seeing Jeff again. She was impressed that you’d kept it quiet, and offered a wink on her way out the door that of course had you rolling your eyes.

With the house to yourself again, you took the wine glasses to the sink and left the empty pizza box on the counter to take out to the trash later. You’re feeling drowsy, but you force yourself to wash your face and throw a load of towels in the wash before getting changed for bed. Your phone buzzes on the end table as you’re tugging on a pair of sweats, and when you reach for it, a grin slides onto your face after seeing that the message is from Jeff.

You climb into bed as you read his message, pulling your blankets over your lap. He’s asking if he can call you, and without bothering to reply, you instead lift the phone to your ear to call him. As it rings, you chew on your bottom lip, feeling slightly nervous for some reason. Jeff answers quickly though, and your heart leaps the second you hear his voice.

“Hey, I’m glad you were still up,” he says, sounding rather tired. You wonder if he’s in bed like you are, and part of you wishes the two of you were on FaceTime so you could see him smile.

“Yeah, Lydia took off about ten minutes ago, so I’m just now climbing into bed,” you tell him, your free hand coming up to push your hair out of your face. You settle into bed a little more, sinking back against the pillows.

“I’ve been watching TV in bed for the last hour, it’s been pretty nice,” Jeff says, letting out a quiet breath of laughter. “A couple of the guys tried to talk me into going out tonight, but I really just wanted a lazy Saturday night.” His words get a laugh out of you this time as well, and it’s honestly just so nice to hear his voice, especially with how soft and warm it was right now.

“I think Lydia and I managed to watch almost half a season of Bake Off tonight, and I don’t know why I let myself binge that show. Every time, without fail, it just makes me want to bake like crazy, even though I’m not really that good at baking.” You feel like you’re rambling a bit by then, but it makes Jeff laugh.

“I remember when we tried to make a cake for your parents’ anniversary the one year and it somehow was hard as a rock,” he teases, laughing after he’s finished speaking. You scoff before laughing along with him, shaking your head at the memory.

“Hey, I still maintain that that was Logan’s fault somehow,” you say, still trying to defend yourself all these years later. Your cheek are flushed, and really, you’re just so happy to be talking to him, even when it’s just this playful banter. “Besides, even if I did manage to fuck up the cake that badly, I’m sure I’m a lot better at baking now than I was at 14.”

“I dunno if I believe you, honestly,” he says, obviously just trying to bug you by then. You hate that it’s working, and you can imagine that he’s grinning, quite pleased with himself. It doesn’t take long before you’re scoffing again, quickly changing the subject.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to call you, or did you just want to drive me insane all night?” you ask, trying your best to sound irritated but it doesn’t quite work.

“Believe it or not, there was a reason,” he says, and you can practically hear his grin through the phone. “I, uh, figured we might want to iron out some plans for tomorrow.” There’s a sudden nervousness to his voice then, and it bleeds right into you, making your cheeks burn in the dark.

“Oh...yeah,” you pause to exhale a laugh. “That’s a good idea, actually.” He laughs with you then, and he clears his throat before speaking.

“So, I’ve kind of got something planned, but I wanted to run it by you first, to make sure it wasn’t...too much or anything,” he explains, that nervousness settling into the tone of his voice again. “There’s this Italian place that a couple of my teammates are obsessed with, and it’s pretty fancy, like I don’t think I can even pronounce the name of the place, and I―”

“Jeff, please don’t feel like we have to do anything over the top,” you interrupt quickly, biting your lip afterwards. You sink down into the mattress more, shifting between the sheets in an effort to get comfortable.

“I know that, but after all of those cheap dates I took you on in high school, I feel like I’ve got to step up my game now,” Jeff tells you, and immediately, both of you are laughing before he continues on a moment later. “I’ve got a couple good back up ideas too.”

“No, no, I’m totally on board with the fancy Italian place, trust me,” you assure him, still grinning widely to yourself.

He exhales then, sounding rather relieved, and you laugh again. “Okay, good,” he says, and you can all but hear him relax. It still amazes you that it’s so easy for him to make you feel like a nervous, lovesick teenager all over again and it’s becoming more obvious at least that you have the same effect on him as well. “Do we wanna do dinner at 6 then?”

“Uh, yeah, that works for me,” you tell him, voice rather soft then as you feel excitement bubble in your stomach now that plans are set in stone for tomorrow. You’re quite for a moment as you chew on your bottom lip. “Any chance I’ll be able to talk you into hanging around at my place for a while after dinner?”

“You’ll just have to say please,” he teases, making you roll your eyes, because of course he won’t just make things easy on you.

“Oh, well, we’ll see if I’m up for that tomorrow then,” you respond, trying to sound as noncommittal as possible, even shrugging to yourself for dramatic effect. Jeff thinks it’s funny at least, and he laughs softly. You can damn near imagine him smiling at you, and just that thought has you exhaling a quiet sigh.

“What are you thinking?” he asks a moment later, and there’s a gentleness to his voice that makes you want to curl up into him and never move.

“Nothing really, just that I’m excited to see you tomorrow,” you tell him, picking a piece of fuzz off your shirt idly as you try not to think about how warm his hands had been when they were resting on your waist last night.

He’s quiet for a moment, almost to the point that you feel antsy. “I’m excited too, trust me. I’m glad we’ll finally just get to spend a good chunk of time together all at once,” he says, and by that point, you’re smiling so hard that your face hurts.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” you respond, trying to ignore the warmth that’s settling through your body in response to his words.

The two of you end up talking a while longer until you can’t stop yawning, and one of the last things Jeff says is that he can’t wait to see you the next day. You doze off easily, thinking about him and how eager you are to have him to yourself for several hours.

By early Sunday afternoon, you’re kicking yourself for thinking Saturday had passed slowly, because today, waiting for six o’clock to arrive it actually felt like time was moving backwards. Jeff seemed just as impatient, really, and the two of you spent most of the day texting, stemming from the good morning text you woke up to. Lydia texted you a few times as well, mostly just to bother you about the date. Now that she knew about it, she had no problem being nosy it seemed.

Jeff showed up a little earlier than you’d anticipated, and because you’d been in the bathroom trying to make your hair look decent, you’d missed his text that he was heading your way. As soon as you heard the knock on the door, you were cursing under your breath as you try to get your earrings in, padding barefoot down the hall to let him in.

“You’re super early,” you say as you swing open the door, and it’s a good thing you started speaking when you did because seeing him standing there in a suit makes your mind go blank.

You’d seen him in suits after the games you’d been to, but now? Damn, he looked good. He’d gone without a tie, and his shirt wasn’t buttoned all the way up. Just as you realize that you’re practically staring at him, you notice that his eyes are on you just as much as yours had been on him.

“You….look incredible, wow,” he murmurs eventually, eyes lifting to your face as he flashes you a grin. You feel your cheeks heat up as you grin, stepping to the side to let him step into the foyer. His eyes are still on you, taking you in, and you try to ignore the heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“I’ve only got one earring in,” you respond with a quick laugh, trying to sound modest as you remember that the other is still in your hand. At least putting the other earring in gave you a short distraction from how good he looked. You’re dressed at least, which is better than nothing. After worrying about what to wear to such a fancy place, you opted for the classic little black dress, deciding that simple was the way to go.

“Well, I trust me, I wasn’t looking at your ears,” Jeff says, clearing his throat a second later and stuffing his hands in his pockets like he’s worried what he’d said came off weird. The words make you snort though and you grin, your hands smoothing down the front of your dress as you look at him. You meet eyes and you’re both quiet for a beat, both of you grinning at each other like you don’t know what to do next.

“I, uh..I should put some shoes on, uh, then I’ll be ready to go,” you tell him, stumbling over your words a bit. He nods, biting his lip and you see his eyes drag over your frame again. You’re about to turn away from him, to run back to your room where your heels were waiting, but instead, you step toward him.

He must be having the same thoughts as you then, because as soon as you’re close enough, his arm is settling around your waist to pull you even closer. “I missed you,” he tells you, the words half whispered as you look up at him with a grin.

“I missed you too,” you reply, loving the smile that spreads across his face in response to your words. The dimple is driving you extra crazy today for some reason, and you tilt your head up enough to kiss his cheek softly.

You’re about to pull away when he says your name quietly and you look at him through your eyelashes. His hand comes up to cup your face, and his eyes move over your features slowly, leaving you feeling a bit impatient. Just when you’re about to say something, he kisses you, soft and almost lazy as the two of you stand there in your foyer.

You raise an arm to settle it around his neck in an effort to keep him close, your other hand resting against his chest as you lean into him. He’s warm, and you can smell his cologne, and you’re already feeling so weak for him that you’re not sure you’ll be able to handle looking at him in that suit all night. Despite the burning need in your stomach, you manage to keep the kiss slow and easy, and you force yourself to pull back after sliding your tongue along his bottom lip.

“I should go put some shoes on,” you repeat with a breathless giggle as you try to pull back. His arms still tight around your waist though, and he’s grinning, cheeks flushed, as he keeps you held in place close to him.

“Yeah, you should,” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your mouth. It’s short, but firm enough to have you practically melting against him, and just as quickly as he’s pulled your body to his, he’s letting you go. “Otherwise, we’re gonna end up missing our reservation.” He’s grinning at you then, biting his bottom lip, and there’s a mischievous look in his eye that leaves you feeling weak in the knees.

You use the time it takes to grab your shoes from your room to try and slow your heart rate, hoping that somehow you can forget about just how sexually frustrated you are and get through dinner without wanting to tear that suit off of him. With your shoes on, you leave your room a moment later, and find Jeff looking around your living room, particularly interested in the photos on your bookshelf.

“Glad to know the NHL hasn’t snapped you out of your nosiness,” you tease, and he jumps like he hadn’t heard you coming. A flush colors his cheeks quickly as he turns to face you, and a smile slides onto his face.

“I’m in this picture!” he says, pointing to one and sounding rather happy about it. Realization washes over you, and you feel a little guilty that you’d forgotten he was in one of the photos you’d had framed and on display in every place you’ve lived since college.

“Honestly, I forgot you were in that one,” you admit, smiling nonetheless as you shift your weight from one foot to another.

“I see how it is,” he murmurs, shooting you a skeptical look that makes you roll your eyes with a laugh. He’s grinning again a second later, his attention leaving the photo frames to move toward you again. “You ready now?” His eyebrows raise as he speaks and you practically beam at him, nodding. “Good.”

For the majority of the ride to the restaurant, Jeff held your hand, and it was impossible not to think back to the days of quick ice cream dates between school and practices. It felt good to have time though, to know you got to be with him for more than an hour or two. You talked a bit, mostly just small talk, but you both just seem happy to be in the same space together.

The restaurant far exceeded your expectations of just how fancy it would be. Jeff was certainly enjoying it though, having the opportunity to treat you to something so nice. He ordered a bottle of wine for the table, and as soon as the waiter walked away, Jeff looked at you with a bit of a grimace.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I butchered the name of that wine,” he says, shifting in his seat with a wide grin, simply shrugging it off. His words make you laugh, and glancing around, you feel far underdressed and out of place, but being there with him is worth it.

The two of you blow through a few pieces of small talk, sipping at wine and enjoying the fact that you were together. Of course, the food was incredible, and when there was a slight lull in conversation as you were finishing up, you sat up in your seat a little more.

“Wanna know a little bit of a secret?” you ask, biting your lip as you lean forward slightly. You know it’s terrible manners, but you rest your elbows on edge of the table as you look at him.

“Always,” he says, looking intrigued as he reaches for his wine glass. He takes a sip, then mirrors your actions, leaning forward so his elbows are on the table as well.

It’s impossible to stop yourself from grinning widely at him then, and you can only imagine how odd the two of you must look to the other diners. Clearing your throat, you feel your cheeks flush slightly, but you hold his gaze.

“So, you remember that first game Lydia took me to, and I said it was a last minute thing?” you start, clearing your throat as you pause.

“Yeah, I think I might, why?” he responds, and the snarky grin on his face makes you nudge him under the table with your foot teasingly as you roll your eyes. His grin only widens in response to the contact, and he responds by nudging your foot right back.

“It’s not really much of a secret, I guess, but Lydia knew about our history before you even came to Buffalo. I mean, she texted me in the middle of a meeting when you got traded for christ's sake,” you say, laughing rather nervously as you shake your head. “She bugged the hell out of me about trying to reach out to you, but I dunno, I guess I was just scared, so she took matters into her own hands. The day of that game though, she talked me into going to eat downtown, but then sprung it on me that we were actually going to the game.” You pause again, taking a deep breath. “Long story short, I guess, the devil works hard, but Lydia works harder.” Jeff is grinning then as you laugh with a shrug, leaning back in your seat now that you’ve finished speaking.

“Well,” he starts, letting out a deep sigh as he watches you. “Guess I should probably clue you in on my own secret then, since we’re on the topic.” He pauses, pushing a hand through his hair and you look at him expectantly, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “I, uh..I knew that you lived in Buffalo. That was the first thing my mom told me when I said I got traded, that you lived here.” He was blushing like mad, just like you surely had been when you were talking about Lydia’s meddling. You’re about to jump in to ask questions about what he’d just said, but instead he continues on. “Every time I was out, I felt like I was looking for you, hoping we’d bump into each other somehow, but I guess now I owe Lydia a massive favor or dinner or something for making my life a lot easier.”

His words make you snort softly, and you shake your head. “She made both of our lives easier, honestly, but if we ever tell her that, she’ll never let us forget it,” you tell him, grinning as you bring a hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear. Jeff laughs as he reaches for his wine glass, and you can see a soft flush coloring his cheeks.

“My lips are sealed then,” he says, nodding as he nudges your foot under the table again lightly.

When dinner is over a while later, Jeff’s arm settles around your shoulders at the valet booth as you wait for his car to be brought up. You lean into his side easily, enjoying the warmth of his body and the smell of his cologne as he kisses your temple before letting his nose nudge at your hair lightly. When you have to pull away a moment later, you glance up at him and lean back into him enough to press a short kiss to his mouth.

On the road a few minutes later, Jeff glances at you before reaching for your hand. “Does the offer still stand to hang out at your place for a while?” he asks, brushing his thumb over your knuckles lightly as you lace your fingers with his.

You turn your attention to him, raising your eyebrows slightly. “What, you’re not gonna make me say please?” you tease with a wide grin, squeezing his hand.

“Nah,” he says, looking at you again as he comes to a stop at a red light. There’s an almost shy smile on his face, and he shrugs a second later to make you exhale a breath of laughter.

“Don’t worry, the offer still stands,” you tell him, feeling giddiness creeping into you then as Jeff nods.

“I was never gonna make you say please, y’know,” he tells you, his eyes moving back to the road when the light turns green.

“I know,” you respond, enjoying the fact that he’s still grinning even as he’s watching the road.

The last few minutes of the drive are quiet, and you’re impressed to see that he remembered the better route back to your place. He doesn’t let go of your hand until he’s pulling into your driveway and reaching to turn off the car. Turning toward you, his shy smile is back and you’re pressing your lips together as you unfasten your seatbelt.

“C’mon, let’s go,” you tell him, reaching for the door handle. He nods eagerly, clearing his throat as he steps out of the car. You’re expecting him to approach you, but instead he opens the back door to grab a bag from the floor.

He catches the rather surprised look on your face and shrugs with a rather self-conscious smile. “What, did you expect me to lounge around in a suit all night?” he asks, reaching for you hand once he’s close enough.

You exhale a soft laugh, shrugging back at him then. “I dunno, I really didn’t really think about it, I guess,” you respond, giggling as you tug him toward the front porch. You’re fishing for your keys then, letting go of his hand once you’re close enough to unlock the door. As you fit the key into the lock, your hands are shaking from the feeling of having Jeff’s eyes on you, and you let out a soft breath of relief when you get the door open.

Jeff closes the door behind him once he’s followed you in, and he slips past you as you nudge your heels off easily. They certainly weren’t the most comfortable shoes, and you were glad to be out of them now. When you turn to Jeff, he’s still watching you, looking like he’s waiting for instructions on what to do next.

“I, uh..I’m gonna go get changed in my room. There’s a bathroom off the kitchen if you didn’t want to just disrobe in the living room,” you tease, taking a step toward him as you grin. He smiles back at you, nodding as he motions for you to come closer to him. It’s impossible to say no to that smile, so you step toward him, which only makes his smile widen.

“Hi,” he says, slipping his arm around your waist as he pulls you into him.

“Hi,” you repeat back, biting your lip in an effort to hide the eager groan that slid onto your face so easily as you looked at him. His hand is resting flat in the small of your back, and you’re suddenly feeling very aware of everything that’s happening as your heart races in your chest.

When his other hand comes up to cup your jaw, holding your face gently, your eyes drift closed as you relax into his touch. Everything’s still and quiet for a brief moment, then he’s kissing you, so soft and gentle that it makes your knees shake. Your hand comes up to grip the material of his suit jacket, half to pull him closer and half in fear that your knees would give out if you didn’t have something to hold onto.

It would be so easy to just give into the desperation that’s vibrating through every inch of you, but instead, you pull back before the kiss gets any firmer. Instinctively, you lick your lips nervously, and when you meet Jeff’s eye, there’s a darkness there that makes your core start to ache. Letting out a soft breath of laughter, just trying to break the sexual tension, you look away from him as you feel your cheeks burn.

“I’m really dying to get out of this push up bra,” you say, just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. You need to put some distance between the two of you, otherwise you’re going to end up giving in to just how badly you need him.

Jeff blinks at you before cracking a grin, and he nods before untangling himself from you easily, motioning for you to take the lead out of the foyer with a laugh. You point him in the direction of the bathroom, then move as quickly as you can to your own room.

More than anything, you wish you had the time to take a cold shower before joining him in the living room, but you don’t. Instead, you take a few deep breaths after closing the door behind you, trying to at least bring your heart rate down. Eventually, you change out of your dress and that awful bra, tugging on a bralette, along with a pair of leggings and long sleeved shirt from college.

Tugging at the hems of your sleeves nervously, you return to the living room where you find Jeff stretched out on your sofa, clearly making himself at home. The remote is in his hand and from the looks of it, he’s trying to figure out how to turn the TV on. He’s in a Sabres shirt and grey sweatpants, of course, as if you weren’t already having trouble keeping his dick off your mind.

“You look cozy,” you say, grinning as you sit down in the opposite corner of the couch, already curling your feet under you. You’re trying to put as much space between the two of you as possible right now, and from the way he looks at you, you’re sure that he’s onto you.

“Yeah, it feels nice to be out of the suit, that’s for sure,” he says, grinning at you as he looks up from the remote. “And I bet you’re happy to be out of that push up bra.” His tone changes a bit and it gets a laugh out of you as you nod.

“Trust me, I am,” you tell him, hand coming up to push your hair out of your face as you pull a blanket into your lap. “You wanna keep trying to figure out how to work the remote, or do you want me to take over?” Your words come with a soft laugh as you grin at him widely, only to be greeted with an exaggerated eye roll out of him. He tosses you the remote a second later with a sigh of defeat and it’s taking everything you have not to laugh at him teasingly.

Silence settles over the two of you for a short moment as you turn on the TV and open Netflix, your eyes stuck on the TV before you glance at him. You find that he’s looking at you already, and you feel your cheeks heat up as you clear your throat. You’re about to open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.

“Why are you all the way over there?” he asks, sounding like he’s doing his best not to sound too needy.

“I dunno,” you respond with a quick laugh, pushing your hair out of your eyes again nervously as you force yourself to stare at the TV. “Just trying to behave, I guess.” Your own honesty surprises you and you let out a quiet snort of laughter that he echos a moment later.

“Come over here,” he murmurs, already sitting up slightly as he reaches to tug at your hand. It’s impossible not to give into him, and you both shift easily. He stretches out along the length of the couch and pulls you into his lap easily so you’re leaning into his chest.

It’s a lot closer than you’d anticipated, and you can smell his cologne and feel the warmth of his muscular frame through his clothes. You look up at him and he’s all grins as his arm settles around your waist comfortably. Your cheeks are flushed, you can feel it, and it takes a moment before you relax into him easily.

“That’s better,” he says softly, bringing a hand up to run over your hair before rubbing your back gently. Snuggling into him is so easy, and you can’t help but press your face into his chest for a moment and just nuzzle there.

“What do you want to watch?” you ask a moment later as your head rests against his chest, just wanting to have something else to focus on as you search for the remote again. He makes a sound of indifference and you scoff quietly, grinning to yourself as you scroll through the recently added movies idly.

From the way you’re laying, you can hear his heart beating in his chest, and you can feel the way his muscles move as he continues to rub a hand over your back idly. Eventually, he gives some input on what to watch, and after you press play, you lean to put the remote on the coffee table for safe keeping. When you move back to him, there’s some distance between your bodies as you lean over him, and he’s looking up at you as his hand slides over your waist easily.

You’re both silent for a moment, just looking at each other from this new angle, and before you can stop yourself, your eyes drop to his mouth. He mirrors your action, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth before he’s leaning up enough to kiss you. It’s slow at first, and given the fact that you’re still hovering over him, it’s nice to still feel in control.

His hand settles in the small of your back again, this time holding the fabric of your shirt lightly in an effort to keep you close. The kiss is easy, light, but when he sighs quietly against your mouth, you let your body rest into his a bit more. You’re taking your time, knowing that you’ve got all the time in the world right now. Everything still feels so new, like you’re getting used to each other again despite the fact that you’d grown up together.

You’re starting to get stuck in your head about everything, you can feel it, but your mind goes blank when Jeff’s tongue drags along your bottom lip. The motion somehow takes you by surprise, and you groan into his mouth as his free hand comes up to hold rest on your jaw like he’s worried you’re going to pull away. Tired of holding back, you shift so you’re straddling him and he moves along with you, hands immediately gripping your hips.

The kiss deepens and his tongue slips into your mouth, making your clit throb between your thighs. You’re suddenly very aware of just how wet you were already, and it’s a struggle to keep yourself from rocking down against him. When your body tenses with the effort of staying still, his hand on your jaw moves to thread his fingers through your hair as he pushes it back out of your face.

He breathes your name, making you shiver, and a second later, he’s pulling back to look at you. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are searching your face as you blink down at him.

“What is it?” you ask softly, licking your lips quickly.

“Nothin’, just wanted to look at you, I guess” he murmurs, a slow grin sliding onto his face as you roll your eyes at him.

Immediately, you’re leaning into him again, kissing him hard enough that he groans into your mouth. His fingers tighten in your hair, his nails just barely grazing over your scalp, and the hand in the small of your back moves higher, rubbing over the fabric of your shirt easily. Just when you feel like you can’t breathe, Jeff pulls away to kiss along your jaw, his breath hot against your skin as he moves down your neck.

You’re panting by then, biting your bottom lip as he sucks at your pulse point. Whimpering his name, your hand slides into his curls, and you give into your desperation for friction, your hips grinding down into his. The sound that leaves him does nothing to help the soothe the throbbing between your thighs, and you’re already turning your head to seal your mouth over his again.

Somehow, this kiss is even more heated, and both of Jeff’s hands move to your hips. He squeezes you there, letting his fingers just barely slip under the hem of your shirt as he pulls your hips down to meet his again. It’s your turn to whine, realizing then that his cock is half hard, and when he bites at on your bottom lip, you grind down against him again eagerly.

Jeff exhales a curse against your mouth, hands still tight on your hips, but this time, he’s pushing you back slightly. “Fuck, we need to stop,” he murmurs as he pulls back, chuckling a second later. You nod in response, grinning as you feel your cheeks flush. The face that his mouth is a little swollen is quite distracting, and you’re having trouble tearing your eyes away from his lips.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” you respond, despite leaning to press another soft kiss to his mouth. “We missed the beginning of the movie.” Your words are followed by a soft giggle that makes Jeff grin as he shrugs.

You shift so you’re not straddling him anymore, moving back to sit at the opposite edge of the couch, just until you’ve both cooled down. Jeff keeps stealing glances at you, and fifteen minutes later, he’s sitting up enough to reach for you, pulling you back toward him to rest against his chest. Committing yourself to behaving, you nuzzle into his collarbone briefly as you settle into him.

Your eyes are on the TV, but you’re hardly paying attention to the movie. With your head on his chest again, the sound of his heartbeat is relaxing enough that you’re having trouble even staying awake. It’s barely even 9pm, but you’re so cozy and Jeff is so warm. He’s rubbing your back idly and toying with the ends of your hair, even kissing the top of your head a couple times.

The sound of Jeff’s voice is what wakes you up, and as you come to, you feel him rubbing your back still as he says your name. When you stir, you grumble under your breath, turning your head to bury your face in his chest. The motion makes Jeff chuckle quietly as he pushes your hair back from your face. It seems a lot darker in the room now, and when you open your eyes and look at the TV, you see that the credits are rolling.

“It’s time to get up, baby,” he tells you softly, nosing at your hair lightly. You stifle a yawn into his chest as you nod, exhaling a heavy sigh a minute later as you sit up.

“Sorry I fell asleep on you,” you say, trying to smooth down your hair and hoping that you don’t look too terrible. Jeff only grins, sitting up to lean toward you before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t mind, trust me,” he assures you. “I almost fell asleep too, if that makes you feel any better.” His words make you smile and you turn your head to look at him, immediately leaning a bit closer so you can kiss him softly.

It’s not hard to tell that he’s holding back, not letting the kiss get too deep. You hate that you know you’ve got to say goodbye soon, and as your mouth easily against his, you take his hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Can you stay here tonight?” you ask quietly when he pulls back. You’re still leaning into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body.

“I wish I could,” he tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead softly. “I’ve got an early practice tomorrow, and we’re heading to Chicago straight from there, and I haven’t even packed yet.” His words come with a soft laugh, and it’s impossible not to grin at him. The sleepy part of your brain wants you to beg him to stay over, selfishly wanting to just stay curled up with him all night.

“Shocking,” you tease, making him scoff before he kisses you again.

This time, the kiss is a little firmer, and his arm slips around your waist to pull your body closer to his. Your hand settles on the back of his neck as your mouth curves into a smile as you lean toward him. When you lick into his mouth, he makes a high sound that leaves you squeezing your thighs together. He pulls back a second later with flushed cheeks, and his eyes move over your face quickly.

“Yeah, I gotta go,” he says quickly, and the two of you laugh in unison as you nod. You both know that if he stay any longer, it’s just going to be harder for him to leave, and you’re the first to get to your feet.

Clearing your throat, you offer him a hand as you nod toward the door. He grins widely, taking your hand and pulling himself to his feet before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Jeff lingers with you in the foyer for a bit longer, stealing a few more kisses as you hold onto him. Your arms around around him as you lean into him, all but desperate to keep him from leaving as if he’ll be gone for longer than a couple days. When you finally let him go, he kisses you a few more times and promises to call you tomorrow before the game. The door closes behind him a moment later and you sigh, pushing your hair out of your face as you realize just how in love with him you are.

pour one out for the last safe for work chapter y’all 🥳🥳🥳 i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I’m so sorry it took so long for me to get this written, but I’m trying to make it up to you by finishing part five within the next ten days, so we’ll see how that goes, i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ as always, comments and messages are always appreciated!!! i’ve been trying to figure out a way to do some sort of comment board of sorts bc I know a lot of people don’t reblog fic so idk. if y’all have any ideas, I’d love to hear them!

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

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A/N: Please understand that this has been my vision for how karaoke night would unfold with this group forevveerrrrr so I’m excited we’re here. Nobody puts Bella in the corner mmkay? Oh and it gets a little suggestive so y’all know what we’re in for soon.

Chapter 36.

"So what about them?" Ben questions while we all witness Vinny and Bianca make their way to the karaoke microphones. "How long have they been together?"

"They're not," I tell him. "They just met tonight."

Ben gasps, eyes flying wider as he looks at us. "Shut up. I love that. I'm so glad this is happening."

We’ve stood up from our stools at this point, gathered behind our table for an optimum view.

Vinny receives his shot from the bartender, lifting it appreciatively to our table and tosses it back. Then he hands the empty glass off to the deejay and smacks his own chest with his palm as he gets the booze down.

Noble nudges my arm and chuckles in amusement. "Watch, watch."

The TV screens around the bar always display the upcoming song just before it starts and we glance up to see (I've Had) The Time Of My Life roll across the screen in fuzzy, bright purple text.

Vinny studies the monitor in front of him, furrows his brow, then looks out at us, confused.

The three of us all blow out a hard laugh while the rest of the bar is already excited, hooting appreciative cheers.

"Yes!" Bianca tips her head back and grasps Vinny's arm. "You know this one," we hear her assure him. "Dirty Dancing."

"Oh shit," he groans in realization.

"Look, the parts you sing are in green--" Bianca instructs, pointing to the screen. "Be ready, it starts quick."

Now I-- The song begins and Vinny glances around at the unexpected start and Bianca pushes against his shoulder to prompt him.

"... the time of my life--" He hesitates, edging closer to the microphone.

As soon as Vinny starts, Noble immediately hollers for him, clapping loud and triggering the crowd around us to scream out for the easily recognizable song.

"Oh my god." I mutter the words and my amazement keeps both my eyes and my mouth from closing while I watch.

Vinny cautiously sort of mumbles his initial part until Bianca joins in with hers. And when she does, the clear, airy melody actually starts to sound familiar.

Laughing at himself, Vinny drops his head and shakes it when the beat settles in. But it makes everyone around them cheer even more.

Bianca looks out, nodding at them as if to keep it coming for him. Then she goes to work during an instrumental measure, pops Vinny's microphone off the stand and hands it to him before lifting up the stand to move it out of the way. She does the same to her own mic, just in time to return to the screen and point to the new lyrics that roll in.

"This is you," she tells him.

"I've been waiting for so long… now I finally found someone to stand by me…" He tries to get the hang of the phrasing with only an instrumental track to back them.

When Bianca sings her part, it helps even out the tempo. She gestures to the screen again to alert him, "This is both of us--"

"Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly…"

"Okay--" Vinny announces with a nod of confidence that’s starting to take hold the more everyone else around him cheers and joins in with the words. "I got it. I got it now."

"So we take each other's hand, 'cause we seem to understand the urgency…"

“Just remember!”

I smack my grip onto Noble’s arm and seeing this might seriously be how I die. “Holy. Shit, dude.” I’m struggling because I want to crack up but I’m too stunned watching and I can’t believe it’s happening. And Ben on the other side of Noble wailing “YESSS!” in appreciation makes it even funnier.

They fall more in sync as they build to the chorus and Vinny finally begins to relax next to Bianca.

“I’ve never seen a karaoke crowd like this,” Noble observes. “This is fucking hilarious.”

“I’d say we’re pretty rambunctious at our karaoke nights here in general,” Ben shouts over the music. “But this song always brings the house down and I’m loving them so much.”

I have to laugh at the guys gathered in front of Vinny and Bianca, singing along, dancing with one another and so into it.

Bianca starts off the second verse and encourages Vinny when it’s his turn. I’m amused every time he focuses intently on the monitor to follow the lyrics when he’s not entirely sure how to string the words together. And then parts will become more familiar to him, like he’s just saying fuck it and would rather deliver a good performance.

Ben wasn’t kidding about the song being a crowd favorite because when the chorus kicks in the second time, there’s literally a disco ball that lowers from the ceiling, casting colors all across the bar when the lights overhead go dark. The entire room erupts in this wild cheer and even though Vinny and Bianca have the mics, you can hear everyone like a collective chorus.

Because--

I’ve had the time of my life…

I finally notice I’ve been smiling all this time. This entire thing is funny and fucking joyful as hell and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like it. I keep turning to drop my forehead onto Noble’s shoulder to laugh there against him and he does the same to me, gripping hard at my back and pulling me into a hug.

“Oh, my god,” he groans during the lively instrumental break and saxophone solo where everybody’s just dancing. “Dude, I’m fucking pissed this is happening,” he tells me. “He’s gonna win her over with this shit.”

“Oh, I think she’s winning him over,” I suppose. “But yeah, talk about lengths a guy will go to. He’s done it.”

“Yeah, I assure you she’s in love with him,” Noble decides. “Dammit.”

With a thoughtful tilt of my head, I peer out at the stage. “I’m kind of proud of him, though.”  Leaning my back against Noble’s chest, he keeps his arm draped over my shoulder. “I’d hyperventilate before I did something like this, so good for him.”

“How much shit are you gonna give him on Monday?”

“Dude, so much.” I chuckle. “I’ll never forget this for the rest of my life. I hope we’re partners forever and I can tell this story at his retirement party.”

Letting his head fall, Noble cracks up, his drunken laughter tickling the side of my neck. He pushes his face there, then he meets my cheek for a kiss.

Shifting in front of him, I turn my head and lean up to touch my lips to his. My hand grasping his face and into his hair, his grip trailing high along my side, I kiss him long enough to forget all that’s around us, for merely a still moment. Probably nothing to anyone else nearby, but for me it feels significant.

I've kissed him a hundred times but my heart's racing when I slip away. It takes me a second to notice it and I tilt toward him, nudging my head against the edge of his jaw to calm the flaring pulse I can feel between my ears.

Pressing my lips together to force some feeling there, I turn away after a quick, rough squeeze of Noble's hair in my fist. And I don't miss his throaty little grunt when I do. It doesn't matter how many other distractions surround us, he won't pass up a chance to react to a cursory hair tug.

Damn, it just sort of came over me how badly I need to go home with him. But I don't have to tell him when I meet his heavy gaze for a brief moment, then move away and reach for my drink when I remember what I'm supposed to be watching.

"Hey, you have to help me with something," Noble says. He follows in behind me and I feel his hands low on my hips. "Because I'm super horny and I might forget."

I nearly cough out my whiskey when I laugh and turn to face him once again with a narrowed gaze. "Oh yeah? A bar full of cute boys has got you super horny?”

“No.” He grins at me in the glittery darkness as I linger right there against his chest. “Just one. And he’s more fucking hot than cute,” he decides, before he dips his head so his mouth is at my ear. “And irresistible, and sexy as hell and god,” he groans. “I really wanna take him home and suck his dick right now. So forget cute, alright?”

Shit. I’m so buzzed and turned on and the weight of it, of my want for him, just tugs deep and hot inside me. Enough to make me chew on my own lip until I suppress the temptation. It’ll surface again, though, with a little more momentum. “Well damn." I smirk. "Don’t let me keep you from him."

With a nod to the front where Vinny and Bianca close out the last chorus, he proposes, “After this, let’s head out, yeah?”

“What am I supposed to help you with?” I remind him.

He gestures a finger up toward the microphones. "She can't go home with him. I don't know where this is all going to lead tonight. But if we turn our backs and her ass sneaks into a cab with him, I'm calling the cops."

I regard him thoughtfully. "Good plan. The cops'll totally get him."

“I mean it,” he laughs.

“You don’t trust Vinny?”

He lifts defensive shoulders. “I don’t trust… the situation just yet.”

While it’s a bit of a double standard -- Noble thought it was perfectly reasonable to run around with me in the city he’s supposed to avoid and yet he won’t let his sister out of his sight -- I understand.

And really I can’t determine whether Vinny and Bianca even have those intentions with one another. Right now they’re kind of jumping around on the stage while the music begins to fade out. And knowing him, he probably just wants to laugh the whole thing off, say his goodbyes before heading home for the night.

“Let’s hear it for Bella and Vinny!” The deejay announces to another adamant cheer from the crowd around the stage.

The two of them replace their microphones on the stands and deliver a bunch of high fives to everyone there. The idiotic pride I feel swells again and I can’t contain a smile when I clap hard for him as they return to the table.

“Good work, partner.” I laugh.

He slings an arm around me to pull me into a hug and I slap him hard on the back. “I found my true calling,” Vinny decides. “But seriously we’ve gotta get the fuck outta here soon.”

“No encore?” I question, reaching over as Bianca slides under my arm for a hug. I turn to her and pull her in. “Look at the magic you made happen with him.”

“I knew he could do it.” She shrugs.

“I don’t think we could top that.” He looks at her, his brows pulling together. “How many guys have you sung karaoke with?”

Bianca grins. “That’s a personal question.”

“But was I the best?”

She reaches out and pushes her palm flat against the center of his chest. Her head tips back with a laugh. “Oh my god.”

He smiles. “I just wanna know.”

“To be determined,” she gives her coy answer.

I glance over at Noble to see if he’s witnessing this and he shakes his head in disapproval.

“Alright, I’m gonna go settle my tab,” Vinny announces. “Be right back.”

Clearing my throat, I offer Noble a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder before I turn to follow Vinny to the bar. “Yeah, me too.”

[angrylizardjacket]

maybe youth is wasted on the young {Roger Taylor}

ask your destiny to dance Modern High School AU

A/N: 2685 words. Not Asked For But Here Nonetheless. might write a bit more for this AU, but i’ve got a lot of prompts, so no promises. hope you enjoy.

Brian got saddled with the two worst tutoring students in the world, and if the high school wasn’t paying him, he’d have let them both go after the first day. Roger he knows; before Brian had graduated they’d both spent lunch times in the music room, and Brian taught him a bit of guitar, and Roger smashed away at the drums and sometimes took a nap. He never expected Roger to be taking physics, but they didn’t usually talk about school when they were at band practice. The band had formed in Brian’s last year of high school, and fortunately there was only a few months after graduation where Roger was the only highschooler, until they went in search of a bass player, and found John Deacon, who seemed to live his life in the engineering workshop room. Together, along with Freddie, who’s two years above Brian, and a design student of all things, they make a pretty great team, musically speaking at least.

Ash, as a student, is an unknown quantity, bursting into the room he’d booked for studying, covered in paint and clay, and fifteen minutes late. She’s bursting with apologies, but Brian gives her the benefit of the doubt, points to the seat opposite him, and smiles. If he was being honest, Roger’s session finished late, he was thankful to have a full hour between appointments to grab some food and go over his notes.

He doesn’t know if they’re in the same class, but they’re in the same year, and both not there out of their own free will. Ash sleeps in class, Roger gets into arguments with the teacher; both are failing. 

Ash is new to town, and all of her school shirts are pink. Not on purpose, but she put them through with a red sweater and the rest is pretty self evident, and she hates Physics more than almost anything else in the world.

“Then why are you doing it?” Brian asks when she announces this during their second session together.

“Because I don’t wanna dissect frogs and rabbits and shit, and I can’t remember the periodic table to save my life; maths, even complicated physics maths, is still maths.” She explains, slapping down a falling apart notebook and fishing around her bag for a pen.

“Language.” Brian admonishes, and Ash frowns at him, elbow deep in her bag.

“I’m seventeen, go fuck yourself.”

The thing is, she's a good student, she can do the math, it's just a struggle working out what it means, but she's scatterbrained more than anything. And often late. Usually only by a few minutes, but everything changes the day Roger comes in ten minutes late, which comes as a surprise, he's always quite punctual, and he's covered in lime green paint. It's in his hair and everything. He looks like he’s had an afternoon full of regrettable situations.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He doesn't even give Brian time to ask, though Brian himself is rather distracted; it's a Friday, they've got a gig tonight.

"You'll be right for the show thought?" Brian asks, and Roger agrees easily, looking uncomfortable; the paint was still partially wet. As promised, Brian didn’t ask, and when the hour’s up, Roger leaves to go home and have a shower. After Brian’s break finishes, Ash doesn’t show up. Fifteen minutes after she’s meant to arrive, she’s still not there.

“What?” Ash snaps into her mobile when she picks up, and Brian’s taken aback; she’s not necessarily soft-spoken, but he’d never known her to be so hostile.

“Just reminding you about your tutoring session is all.” He said gently, and he hears a sigh on the other end of the line.

“Fuck. Right. Okay.” Ash breathes, a little distracted, a little put-upon, and it’s followed by scuffling, a door being slammed, and a tap blasting water into a metal sink; the art room. “Hey, listen, I’m just a bit-” sighing again, this time with resignation, the water’s still running in the background, “I’m just not up for it right now, some stuff has happened, and I just-” And there’s rustling as Brian hears her cover the receiver and holler a string of curse words at the empty - at least he hopes it is - art room.

“Is everything okay?” Brian asks when Ash uncovers the mic and apologises quickly.

“I’m fine. I will be fine.” She tells him, before apologising that she won’t be able to make it to their session that day. She hangs up.

When he makes his way to the art room, because she’s obviously not fine and he cares when one of his students misses a session, he sees her through the window, sitting down with her head on her arms at a table covered in various shards of a sculpture. At a glance he thinks she’s asleep, but as he knocks gently on the door, he sees her look up, shocked, her eyes red-rimmed.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, roughly wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, standing in the door frame. She sniffles a little.

“I just came to make sure you were okay; the art room’s the only one with a metal basin that sounds like that.” He pointed over her shoulder at the art room’s sink. “What’s wrong?”

Ash is quiet for a very long moment, narrowing her eyes when she looked up at him, before turning on her heel and heading to the table with the sculpture fragments on it. They seemed to be in some sort of order, and Brian can pick out that it’s meant to be the bust of a woman, but it’s completely shattered, with a few pieces super glued together, though it seems she’d given up.

“My major work was destroyed.” She explained, voice flat, the statement followed by another sniffle. “Some dickhead put it in the kiln beside a piece with a huge air bubble in it.” At Brian’s confusion, she picked up a piece that looked like it had part of an eye; “the air bubble expanded and exploded and took out all my hard work on the way.” 

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what else to say, she looks absolutely devastated about the whole situation.

“I’m not up for Physics, I’ve gotta try and jigsaw this all back together.” And as she looks over all the work she still had left to do, her lip began to tremble.

“Yeah no, no worries; is there anything I can do to help?” Brian asks gently, Ash just shakes her head, can’t even open her mouth to speak because she knows she’ll start crying again. There’s a blur of movement out the window, and when Brian turns to leave, there’s a figure in the door. He’s tall, with the same striking ginger hair as Ash, and looks like every hipster English major Brian’s ever encountered.

“Who are you?” The ginger man asks, scowling, and Brian raises his hands in surrender, but Ash cuts in.

“Oz, he’s my tutor, he’s just checking in because I couldn’t make it today because- because-” and her voice catches on her explanation as she looks over her weeks of hard work scattered on the table before her. Brian goes to introduce himself to ‘Oz’, who he’s pretty sure is her brother, but the moment Ash sniffles, trying to hold back more tears, Oz brushes past him and it’s like they both forget about Brian.

“It’s going to be okay, Biscuit,” Oz murmurs gently, wrapping a now weeping Ash up in a hug, “I’ll help you stick all these back together and then we can go home, okay?” And he’s so fucking gentle about it that it actually surprises Brian, who hasn’t really thought enough about Ash as a person to devote an opinion on her beyond the fact that she’s a good student with a sharp sense of humour and terrible work ethic in regards to physics; not once, until now, had he ever really considered her fragile. 

He tries not to think about it too much, as he leaves, but it’s hard not to when the two of them show up at his gig later that night. Even in the dim light of the pub he’d recognise her hair from a mile away, and he’s silently wondering how she got in. 

‘Oz’ turns out to be Oscar Clarke, a friend of Freddie’s, Ash’s older brother, and as Brian had called it, an English major. 

“I didn’t realise I’d be seeing you again so soon, are you feeling any better?” Brian asks when the first set finishes; Ash is sitting on a high stool by one of the little round tables, and Oscar is leaning beside her with a bright smile. Ash nods, though she’s still a little subdued, and Oscar gives Brian an official greeting, thanks the guitarist for taking the time to check on his little sister, and offers to buy him a drink.

“Oz! It’s so good to see you!” Freddie wraps Oscar in a hug, interrupting them, before turning to Ash with a bright smile. “You must be Ashley, it’s lovely to finally meet you, my dear.” And Ash is halfway through a greeting and a grin when Roger hops down the the pub’s stage and comes over with their bass player to see what all the fuss was about. The moment they realise who the other is, both Ash and Roger freeze.

“I’m going to fucking murder him.” Ash says with a terrifying degree of confidence, and Roger can’t read her lips without his glasses but he sees her expression, and how she’s sliding out of her stool, and he bolts, leaving poor John confused. Oscar wraps his arms around Ash without hesitation, restraining her. “I’m going to gut him like a fish.” She says, with that same calm fury, struggling in her brother’s arms.

“So you know Roger?” Brian asks, and Ash snorts out a laugh but doesn’t say anything.

“Why do you wanna kill him?” Oscar asks, matching her calm tone, and Ash stop struggling.

“He’s the one who ruined my major work; him and his fucking meme-y, dick sculpture.” She spat, the composed veneer breaking as she dwells on it, and Oscar lets her go and turns back to a confused and concerned Freddie.

“Is she going to kill our drummer?” He asked, as John joined them, looking like an actual child, and he asks if someone can go to the bar and buy him a coke.

“She might.” Oscar says blithely, and heads to the bar. Freddie frowns after him. Brian chimes in, thinking only of Ash, covered in clay and crying alone in the art room hours after school had finished for the day, super gluing her shattered project back together one piece at a time.

“Listen, Freddie, I don’t say this lightly, but he might deserve it.”

“You’re a fucking bastard; if you don’t know how to work with clay properly, you shouldn’t even try, do you know how much work I put in-?” Ash snarled as she found Roger trying to hide his face at the end of the bar.

“I didn’t mean to-” He tried; she’d just thrown paint at him earlier that day, didn’t have the words to articulate herself. This is worse than the paint.

“You sculpted a dick - a dick of all things - around a piece of scrunched up newspaper and didn’t think to leave a hole to let the air escape? To let the air in the clay expand? Have you never-” She seethes, standing right up against the stool he’s sitting on, forcing him to edge away.

“Are you yelling at me about sculptures in the middle of a bar?” Roger asks, and yeah he feels guilty about what happened, but he’s also pretty sure she’s using a fake ID, and the bouncer only didn’t card him because he’s in the band, and if she draws too much attention to them they’re both going to get kicked out.

“Yes.” She snaps, and shoves him rough enough to push him from his seat. He catches himself before he faceplants. “I should kick your ass.” Snarling, she gives him the single most derisive look he’s ever seen, though he stands his ground.

“First of all, I’d like to see you try,” he smirks, moving the chair back and stepping into her space; her hands twitch as if she’s aching to hit him, “and secondly; over a sculpture?”

“Over my major work!” She crows, and he finally realises what the whole situation meant for her. “Do you know how much work I put into that? Over a month and a half, you dipshit!” There’s tears in her eyes, and it seems to take her a moment to realise, and she turns away, gently dabbing to not smudge her mascara.

“I’m sorry, Ash.” Voice gentle, Roger awkwardly pets her shoulder, but she brushes him off. He crosses his arms, unsure of what to do with his hands. “Can I get you a beer or something?”

“We’re the same age.” She squints at him over her shoulder, and he shrugs.

“I’m in the band.” He smirks, puffing out his chest a little, and she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t drink.” And with that she leaves, finds her brother who’s bought both her and John sodas, and Brian gives her a sympathetic smile, and Freddie breathes a genuine sigh of relief when Roger follows behind, somewhat sheepishly.

“How you doing, biscuit?” Oscar asks, wrapping Ash in a side hug, and she shrugs, taking a long sip of her drink and leaning against him. They stay for the rest of the band’s sets; Oscar had brought her out to cheer her up, and eventually, when she starts bopping along to the music, it starts working. Roger, from what he can make out of her in the crowd, feels something in his chest ease to see her relaxing and enjoying herself.

When asked about how the confrontation went, when the band is packing up and Oscar and Ash have left for the night, Roger, to everyone’s surprised, tells them she had every right to be pissed.

“Though if she follows through on her threat to deck me, she’ll have another thing coming.” He snorted, packing up his high hat stand. Brian asks if they’d known each other before, and Roger turns an interesting shade of pink and goes quiet. “We’ve got art and physics together.” 

“But you’re not friends?” Freddie asks, watching Roger for a moment before he and Brian share a small smile.

“Do we seem like friends?” Roger snapped, and Freddie grinned wider. “She’s the best sculptor in our class; even our teacher was pissed when she found out what happened.” He admitted, before his voice dropped to quietly amused. “Ms Roberts got so close to swearing at me like four different times, it was actually pretty funny.”

“He likes her.” Freddie stage whispered to Brian, and Roger turned scarlet at that.

“I do not.” He growled, “she threatened to murder me.” But he was all flustered, and clearly a terrible liar while a little tipsy off of only two beers.

“You think she’s cute and you want to snog her because you know she wouldn’t really kill you.” Brian cooed, dodging Roger’s thrown drumstick easily.

“This is bullying.” He grumbled.

“She is cute,” John piped up, “got really nice eyes too, though the lights made them look all gold at times.” He mused, though Roger couldn’t see the bassist pointedly watching him.

“They’re green.” Roger corrects automatically, and John’s grin widens. He realises too late what he’s said, because both Brian and Freddie are howling with laughter.

“They're green!” Freddie wheezes, and does not get out of the way of the other drumstick quick enough, but also doesn’t seem to care. 

“Fuck all of you!” Roger snaps, thankful when he hears the honk of a horn and sees his dad’s station wagon parked outside and waiting. He starts lugging his stuff out as the others are still doting on him. Assholes.

[midnightbluefox]

I actually cried when @gopherbroke gifted me this amazing Reylo Halloween art this morning. 

At the beginning of the month, we talked about what costumes Rey and Kylo would wear for Halloween in my fic, Broken Things, but I never expected to be gifted something so amazing. She is beyond talented and has such a kind heart, I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS. 

It’s honestly just beyond beautiful and I can’t thank her enough <3

I also wrote a Broken Things one-shot featuring The Princess Bride costumes and all the fluff, which I’ll post below.

If you haven’t read Broken Things and want to, you can right here!

----------

“I, uh, I don’t know how I feel about this,” Kylo said, and Rey turned around just in time to see him pulling at the black pants molded around his thighs.

Admittedly, they were a little tight. But damn, she wasn’t complaining. Not when it meant she got to admire every inch of his thick, powerful legs encased in black leather.

He turned around to look in the mirror again and her mouth went dry at the sight of his ass in those form-fitting pants. Nope, she wasn’t complaining one bit. Not one single bit.

“I think you look great,” she told him honestly. “And it’s too late to turn back, you’ve already committed.”

Kylo grimaced. “How was I supposed to say no when you got so excited? You played me.”

She laughed, shaking her head as she pulled her red dress out of its bag and smoothed out the wrinkles. When Poe had told them that he wanted to plan a Halloween party, with costumes mandatory, Rey instantly knew what she wanted to do. The Princess Bride.

There was no denying it; the thought of Kylo in those black pants, billowing shirt, and pirate boots… it did embarrassing things to her. And how could she not love the idea of dressing up like Buttercup? That red dress still gave her flutters in her chest every time she watched the movie.

She’d never thought that he would agree but here they were, and he was filling out that costume in all the ways that she had hoped. Better than she had hoped, if she was being honest.

He lifted his arms in front of the mirror, his black sleeves puffing with air from the movement. It was a little comical looking but all she could focus on was the way that shirt stretched across his broad chest, the front ties just begging to be undone.

Fuck, it was going to be a long night.

She draped her dress over her bed, going over and wrapping her arms around Kylo to press a kiss on his shoulder. “Listen, it’s Halloween. Everyone gives each other a hard time about their dorky costumes, that’s just part of the fun. But I think you look amazing.”

His dark eyes met her own in the mirror, an uncertain look settling on his face. “You really do?”

Rey nodded, letting her hands slide down a little, fingers dipping under his shirt to stroke at the bare skin of his stomach. “I’d be happy to show you just how good I think you look, after the party.”

His stomach muscles tensed under her hands and she could see a small smile curling at the corners of his lips in the mirror.

A deep sound rumbled through him. “Are you sure we can’t just cancel?”

Laughing, she pulled away and spun him around, tucking his shirt in quickly, then handed him his mask. “Not on your life. Poe would just break down the door and yank us out of bed.”

“I mean, I didn’t say anything about using the bed,” he said with a suggestive gleam in his eye.

She rolled hers with a grin, pushing him towards the door. “Go make sure everything is ready, I need to get dressed.”

Kylo dipped into a wide bow, backing out of the room. “As you wish.”

Her cheeks were hot as she closed the door, hating how easily he affected her.

——

Fifteen minutes later, she was just coming out of her room when someone knocked on the door. She heard Kylo heading to answer it so she took a minute to straighten her long dress and gave her apartment one last quick look over.

She had been worried that suggesting the party be here would end up being a mistake, but Poe and Finn had stopped by earlier and decorated the whole place. It felt like every inch was covered in cobwebs, bats, or black lace tablecloths, the whole place lit up with festive purple and orange lights. To be honest, she had just wanted the party to be here so if Kylo got overwhelmed, he could go hide in the bedroom and calm down without feeling weird. But it had actually turned out better than she had hoped.

He still hadn’t come back from answering the door so Rey made her way over to make sure everything was okay. The sight that greeted her was nothing she could have ever imagined.

Poe, obviously dressed as Ian Malcolm, complete with thick-framed glasses, an open black button up, and a splint on his leg, was helping Kylo pull a very unamused looking Finn through her front door. Finn, who was wearing one of those inflatable t-rex costumes.

She lost her shit.

“Can you stop laughing at me and help?” Finn snapped, embarrassment obvious in his voice.

She tried her hardest to stop, she really did. But then she looked at him again.

“This is not helping,” he ground out. He tried to shoulder-shuffle through the door, his little dinosaur arms flopping around.

Kylo stepped back, covering his face with a hand, shoulders shaking. He was trying so hard.

“Okay, wait,” Rey managed to gasp out, trying to catch her breath. “How did you even manage to get him up here in the first place?”

Poe grinned hugely, like he’d accomplished some great feat. “We took him through the double exit doors around back. And I just walked behind him and held him up on the stairs. There were a few close calls but we made it.”

She just stared at him as Kylo shook his head slowly, lips pressed together tightly as he tried not to laugh.

“Can we talk about this after you get me through the door?” Finn nearly growled, much to Poe’s delight.

In the end, they just had to deflate his suit. Luckily, Poe brought the fan in case he wilted throughout the night. He was free to move around the kitchen and living room, though no one mentioned what the plan would be if he needed to go to the bathroom. She supposed they’d tackle that one when they got to it.

On the plus side, they’d all been so busy laughing at Finn’s costume that no one commented on Kylo’s, though Rey did catch Poe checking out his ass with an approving look on his face.

A few minutes later, someone else knocked on the door and Rey let in Rose and her sister Paige, both dressed as Hogwarts students. Though they weren’t super close, especially with Rey not working at the cafe anymore, she’d always liked Rose’s sweet and supportive nature.

A couple more friends of Poe’s shuffled in and Rey’s little apartment was starting to feel a bit crowded. She wiggled through people to find Kylo serving drinks out of a bowl shaped like a witch’s cauldron and oozing mist from the dry ice.

“Hey,” she muttered, pressing against his side. “You doing okay?”

He nodded, though the movement was a bit jerky and she could see a muscle tick in his jaw. This many people in her small apartment, necessary socializing with strangers… it was wearing on him.

“Don’t forget, just say the word and I’ll create a distraction so you can slip away.”

His smile was strained but genuine. “I’m okay for now.”

“I’m not,” an annoyed voice said from the other side of the counter. Hux stood there, empty cup in hand, trademark scowl across his face. “I’m exhausted thanks to my client from hell and everyone keeps giving me dirty looks for not wearing a dumb costume.”

Kylo looked thoughtful, raising his eyebrows. “Client from hell… Hux, that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me. Maybe coming to a party and loosening up a little is good for you.”

Hux actually sneered at him. “You’re one to talk about loosening up, Ren. How long until you nervous sweat straight through that ridiculous shirt of yours? I only came because you said free drinks.”

“Actually,” Rey whispered loudly, “he’s only in a good mood because Rose wore that short plaid skirt.”

She was totally reaching, making a guess based off of the lingering, carefully expressionless look he’d given Rose across the kitchen earlier, but his ears turned bright red.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said stiffly, turning around and walking away with his empty cup.

They watched him go in a stunned silence.

“Well, that was weird,” Kylo finally said. “Should we warn Rose?”

Rey considered for a second. “I mean, I feel like I should, as her friend. But also, I want to see where this goes. And it’s not like Rose couldn’t take care of herself if he approached her. That girl would destroy him, and I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind seeing it.”

Chuckling, he leaned against the counter, looking visibly less tense and together, they watched Finn try to back into an empty corner without knocking anything over.

“This is the first Halloween party that I’ve ever been to,” Kylo told her. “Or uh, thrown, I guess.”

Rey grinned, remembering cheesy party after cheesy party over the years. It was pretty much an unspoken requirement that if you were throwing a Halloween party, it couldn’t be too high budget or cool.

“You haven’t missed much,” she told him. “They’re all pretty similar to this; silly costumes, cheap drinks, and cheaper decorations.”

“I kind of weirdly like it,” he admitted. He always sounded so surprised when he tried something new and enjoyed it.

She felt bad for a second, thinking about how she’d almost declined to have the party or go at all. Leia was throwing one for her foundation and all of the kids they’d been helping were invited. She didn’t want to miss it, or the chance to connect with some of the children who she’d been counseling, but now she was happy she did. Making these sorts of memories with Kylo would always be a priority to her.

“Then we’ll do another one next year,” she said, giving him a smile. “Though, we might have to use your apartment instead… mine will probably still be going through repairs after Finn gets done destroying everything tonight.” She laughed, having seen him knock several things over already.

He tensed up next to her. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that… though now might not be the best time.”

Rey could feel her eyebrows coming together in confusion. What exactly did he want to talk to her about? The Halloween party next year?

Taking his hand, she led him out of the kitchen and through the crowded living room, managing to make it to the bedroom in one piece. She distinctly heard a suggestive whistle that she knew was Poe, and gave him the finger and a saucy smile as she closed the door behind them.

BB immediately darted out from underneath her bed, Kylo’s mask firmly between his teeth. She’d been looking for it all day.

“You brat,” she muttered, going over to sit next to Kylo on the bed. He looked pale, paler than before, and his fingers were tapping out a frantic beat against his leg.

She caught this hand in her own, squeezing gently. “Hey, what’s going on? You’re obviously nervous.”

His dark eyes met hers, always so vulnerable and open. If anyone ever wanted to know what he was feeling, all they needed to do was study his eyes.

“You’d think after everything we’ve been through, I wouldn’t get nervous with you anymore,” he said, a self-deprecating smile curling at the corners of his mouth. “I wasn’t planning on asking you tonight but I just… I couldn’t get it off of my mind and we’re having a good time and it just seemed-”

“Ask me?” Rey cut him off, mouth going strangely dry. She was suddenly hyper-aware of the heat of his hand in hers.

He took a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you to move in with me. I mean, if you’d like to move in with me. I know we live literally right next to each other but if we moved in together, we wouldn’t have to-”

She laughed softly, cutting him off again. “Kylo, you don’t have to convince me. I’ve been hoping you’d ask for a while now. It makes sense and I want to live with you.”

And there it was; the look of surprise lighting up his face and turning his dark eyes into a warm brown.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay, let’s move in together.”

“Well, we can’t right this second,” she teased, shifting closer, heart pounding with excitement and love. “There’s kind of a party going on, if you didn’t notice.”

“Really? I didn’t,” he deadpanned, making her chuckle.

Leaning up, Rey kissed him softly, his lips warm and welcoming against her own. She’s known for a while now that home was wherever Kylo was, where they could be together.

He wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer, deepening the kiss eagerly. He tasted like relief and happiness, of the promise of their life together.

A loud bang on the door sent them jerking apart, a startled gasp escaping Rey.

“Are you guys getting it on in there?” Poe called, banging on the door again, sounding like he’d already had a few drinks. “I know life finds a way and all that, but there’s a party out here and we’re all going to listen to you guys if you are.”

A loud chorus of “nopes” and “no ways” followed his statement and one disgusted sounding scoff that had to have come from Hux.

Rey covered her face, wondering if this hadn’t been a mistake after all.

“You know what,” she told Kylo, who looked like he didn’t know whether he should laugh or hide under the bed. “I think my window opens to the fire escape. Want to sneak up to the roof and hide out all night?”

His laugh shook the bed. “That sounds perfect.”

[kimjoongs-main]

soulmate au - mark

↳ requested by: no one

↳ type: bullet scenario

↳ warning(s): angst...just....angst...please proceed w caution

↳ a/n: @ mark stans,,,,,,,,,,pls don’t come for me after reading this thanks i’m looking at you nic

you hated the soulmate system, you hated it for taking away your father, you hated the tattooed words on your wrist, you hated it all

you hated it so much that you even went to the length of covering up your tattoo whenever you went out in public, bc seeing the very last words your soulmate says before they die...it hurts to think about

especially considering the words your soulmate is going to say....it’s not exactly an easy thing to hear

and you’ve also heard of people who had blank wrists, meaning that they will never get to hear the last words their soulmate will say to them before they die...because they’ll die first

your father had a blank wrist, and the last thing he said to your mother before he passed was ��i love you, take care of our child” ....and those were the exact words that were inked onto your mother’s smooth skin

you never told anyone what your tattoo said, not your mom, your other family members, and even your best friend mark

however, in your defense, mark never told you what his was either, so ig you could say you two were even

unlike you though, mark was really into the whole soulmate idea, he loved it!

the fact that there’s someone out there waiting for him and him only makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside

and you, despite your utter resentment towards the idea of soulmates, you didn’t wanna make mark feel bad so you just kept your mouth shut

and that actually worked pretty well.....until you reached senior year that is....

the thing is,,,mark’s had this huge fat crush on you ever since the sixth grade when you played w him all the time at recess

he’s always wanted to tell you how he felt but was too scared of ruining your friendship if things didn’t turn out the way he wanted

mark knew you hated committment, for reasons he didn’t know of, and when he asked you just shrugged and said “i just don’t like committment, simple as that”

so he knew if he confessed, he’d lose his best friend, so he’d rather keep his feelings to himself

but like i said....that method worked up until senior yr

ahh yes, your last year of high school has finally come, and w graduation only a few months away, it was safe to say you and mark were busy bees

you two would go out on study dates pretty much every single day, and since you two got distracted easily, you guys made an agreement to hold each other accountable; whoever went off topic and got distracted first was to buy the other person dinner afterwards

and for the past few times, mark’s had the unfortunate displeasure of losing and that night wasn’t any different :’)

this time, mark decided to buy you sushi and you two ate in the back of his pick-up truck

it was rlly late at night so the weather was super chilly and you kept shivering, so mark, being the absolute gentlemen he is, takes off his hoodie and gives it to you

you reject it at first but then he’s like it’s fine i’m not cold, just take it he was totally freezing but whatever thanks mark

so you put his hoodie on and when you do, you get a whiff of his cologne and your heart just,,,,does this weird thing,,,where it skips a beat and you’re like wtf heart calm down there buddy—

once you two are finished eating, you both decide to chill for a bit before going home, and that consists of you two playing so music and having a deep conversation

deep convos w mark weren’t unusual, you always found yourself (whenever you two were alone) talking about serious topics w mark bc he was so easy to talk to?? and he never judged you so you could say what you wanted

however,,,the topic mark touched on tonight,,,made you slightly uncomfortable,,,

“y/n...i know you refuse to tell me about your tattoo, but i’m just curious as to why?” and he looks at you w that look on his face and you’re just like shit what am i supposed to do??

so you decide to throw the question back at him “you never told me the reason why you’re hiding your tattoo either ya know?”

and he laughs bc yah you’re right,,,,and then he shifts so that he’s directly facing you, and you gulp at the serious look on his face

“how about this..if i tell you the reason why i won’t show my tattoo, will you tell me yours?”

you gape at him, jaw dropping and eyes widening

one part of you was telling you to say no, but the other part, the curious part of you, was urging you to say yes...and you were always a curious person so you succumbed to it

you nodded meekly at his proposal and mark smiled, clearing his throat before he shifted closer to you and locked eyes, your heart skipping a beat again

from this close proximity, you could easily admire the tiny details of mark’s face, especially under the light of the moon; his long lashes, his perfectly sculpted cheekbones, his sparkling doe eyes, you could see it all

“well...i guess i should just come right out with it...please don’t freak out okay?” he then lifts up the sleeve of his thin sweater, revealing his wrist......which was perfectly clean, no black-inked words in sight

you gasp and mark smiles sadly, covering up his wrist once more

almost immediately, you recall the meaning of a blank wrist and your vision blurs w tears

bc this boy, mark lee, despite knowing the fact that he’ll die before he got to hear his soulmate’s last words, he was still in love w the idea of soulmates and thought they were beautiful

“at first i was scared when i found out what a blank wrist meant, but then as i thought more about it, i realized that...maybe it’s better that way? i know it sounds crazy, but since i have the blank wrist, then that means my soulmate doesn’t, and that means they’ll be able to hear my last words to them.”

you listened carefully as he explained, but you couldn’t help but say “...you’ll never get to hear what your soulmate’s last words are to you tho..”

“yeah you’re right about that, but it’s better than them not knowing my last words to them”

and he smiles sadly once more and your heart aches; mark lee, the one who’s destined to leave this earth, is still thinking of the people he’s leaving behind

you sniffle, which makes mark chuckle and he carefully reaches out and tugs you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and rubbing your back

“hey don’t cry y/n, it’s okay. i promise you i won’t leave before you do”

and you start crying just a little bit harder, forgetting that it was now your turn to tell him about your tattoo

the days occuring after mark’s shocking revelation were surprisingly very normal

mark still kept his wrist hidden and so did you, and not once after that night did he ask you about your tattoo, which you were grateful for

and if you didn’t already hate the soulmate system, you absolutely detested it now

first your father and now your best friend? the universe rlly loves to fuck up people’s lives doesn’t it?

mark urges you not to treat him any differently bc that’s now what he wants but you can’t help it, knowing that any day your best friend could be taken from you any day now hurt so much

but mark, oh mark, as usual he put others feelings before his own and made it his goal to cheer you up whenever you were sad

he’d take you out for ice cream, or to the movies, or if you were in desperate need of cheering up, he’d even invite yukhei to tag along w you guys bc he never failed to bring a smile to your face

and you appreciated his efforts, you rlly did, but the idea that mark wasn’t gonna be around to do those things in the future absolutely broke your heart

you made sure to remind mark how much you lovee him, just in case, and he would just get this goofy grin on his and say “i know”

but one day,,,you were out with your mom and hadn’t seen mark once

while you were out at the mall, you received a phone call from mark and when you answered it, you could tell he was pouting

“y/n you didn’t tell me you loved me today i’m offended”, you start laughing and roll your eyes

“sorry sorry, i love you mark...there happy?”

you heard a muffled shuffling sound and giggled, mark probably nodded his head and realized you couldn’t actually see him “very, thank you”

there was a pause on the line before mark spoke again, however this time he spoke very quicky before hanging up, and you were barely able to catch his words”

“i love you too y/n”

then the line went dead and you stood there for a few minutes, confused

and that’s when you felt it

a sharp sting of heat spread all across your arm in instant, sending you into a state of shock

the pain was so excruciating that you fell onto your knees and let out a loud shriek

your mother immediately kneels down, panicked and afraid, and is about to ask you what’s wrong when she sees it

you’re clutching your wrist

her eyes then glance over at your phone beside you, mark’s contact name still displayed on the screen

connecting the dots, your mother’s heart drops as she gently reaches out and takes your arm, ignoring the scared look on your face, and pulls down the sleeve of your sweater

once your eyes focus on the five little words on your wrist, everything stops

the pain stops, your heart stops, time stops

bc there...written on your wrist in perfect, neat cursive, are the words i love you too, y/n

[escapingreality1992]

Bars and Hookups

Carol Danvers x OFC

“Lila? Hello? Lila!” a voice called out, a bit muffled as my attention was affixed elsewhere. There she is, standing with a group of people, laughing at someone’s joke most likely. The girl is a blonde with a slight wave to her hair; her eyes remind me of chocolate for they are a warm shade of brown. She’s taller than me, maybe by a few inches. This girl is beautiful. I imagine her laugh is beautiful, sweet as sugar. I don’t know for sure because I can’t hear it; she’s too far away.

           “Will you stop staring? One of these days she’s going to see you and come over here. What are you planning on doing then? The same voice from earlier says.

           “Huh?” I ask, my gaze still on her. A swift blow to my arm breaks my stare for a minute, my head swiveling to the person sitting across from me; now I remember that I’m hanging out with my friend, Sarah, a roommate from college. It also happens to be her birthday. Damn her for bringing me to this bar, I think to myself. When I agreed to this outing I hadn’t know we were coming to Haven, where she always comes…with the same group of people I’ve noticed her with.

Haven is quiet and cozy, the atmosphere always bringing good vibes. The interior is a cool shade of blue, reminiscent of the ocean in some ways, the wood paneling making it seem as if it were made out of driftwood. All the tables were black as midnight, the granite glimmering in the dim lighting. It was my favorite place to come if I wanted a drink and if I needed to cool off from work.

The first time I saw her was a few months ago when I desperately needed a relaxation from my stressful job, the bar drowned out as she walked in with a group of people, the same group of people she was in here with tonight; I was drawn to her, to the way she walked, the confidence oozing out of her. I couldn’t help but to think about what if she was mine to do as I pleased with her. Sarah had started coming with me a few weeks ago and had begun to notice how I’d sneak a peek in her direction, the infatuation brewing inside my aching heart. Now I was completely ignoring my friend, the guilt getting to me.

           “I’m sorry. Guess I’m a bit distracted,” I manage to say, resisting looking back over at that woman. I don’t know her name but I’d like to; I wanted to hear her say it, wanted to hear her voice; those rosy pink lips were a favorite thing of mine, my gaze always drifting down to. The people she came in with were easily recognized as the Avengers but I wasn’t sure which ones, except of course Tony Stark, his face constantly plastered everywhere before he saved the world during the battle of New York. The other ones were girls- a redhead with a curly bob, green eyes and the other a brunette, the same color eyes as the redhead-and I secretly prayed that the other three weren’t in relationship with my crush.

“Lila! You’re not even looking at her and yet you’re still daydreaming about her. A bit distracted? I think you might be a lot distracted,” Sarah commented, sipping her dirty martini.

           “Sorry…” I mumbled, picking at my fingers, ashamed of ignoring her. I decided to take one last peek at her…and found her staring right at me; she caught me. Shit. She’ll probably think I’m a weirdo, I thought, whipping my head back around, focusing on my friend.

“Uh oh. I think she saw you. Remember how I said she might come over here? Well…that’s exactly what she’s doing,” Sarah remarked. My body went rigid, my heart hammering in my chest, nerves spiking afraid of what was about to happen. The woman in question approached our table, standing in between my friend and me, hands on her hips, one jutting out to her right side.

           “Hi, my name’s Carol. I couldn’t help but that notice you were looking at me and I wanted to come over here to introduce myself. What’s your name pretty girl?” She greeted me, a smile on her face. I was at a lost for words, the reality of the woman I’d come to admire actually talking to me. I opened my mouth to speak, still no words coming out, my nerves taking over my senses.

           “Lila. Her name is Lila,” Sarah answered for me.

           “Nice to meet you Lila. I’ve seen you in here a couple of times before but you’re usually alone. What’s the occasion? Are you on a date?” Carol continued, her smile widening.

           “No, no. We’re not dating. We’re here celebrating my birthday. I invited her out for drinks and I hadn’t been here in quite some time,” Sarah replied, when I still could form no words, no voice.

           “Well, birthday girl, would it be terrible for me to buy your friend here a drink? Mind if my friends and I join you?”

           “No, not at all. In fact, I insist you join us. It’s kind of fun seeing her speechless for once,” Sarah said, nudging my leg under the table with her boot.

           “Perfect. I’ll be right back with my friends,” Carol stated, leaving the table. As soon as she was out of earshot and out of view, I kicked Sarah in the shin, making her curse and shoot me a glare.

           “What the hell do you think you’re doing? I can’t talk to her much less be around her. She probably thinks I’m a weirdo,” I snapped at her.

           “Weirdo, no. I do think you’re super cute though,” Carol’s voice penetrated my ears. Fuck, she’s quick, I thought, trying my best to fake a smile.

“So, anyway, this is Steve, Wanda, Natasha and I have no doubt you know this is Tony Stark. Guys, this is Lila and…sorry, I didn’t get your name,” She continued, pointing to Sarah and me after gesturing to her friends as she introduced them.

           “I’m Sarah. Please, join us,” Sarah stated.

           “Have a seat and I’ll be back with another…Bloody Mary for Miss Lila,” Carol remarked, making a note of my drink of choice.

“Extra spicy,” I choked out, receiving thumbs up from her.

“Finally! She speaks,” Sarah said, clapping her hands in a mocking fashion.

“Shut up,” I mumbled, playing with my straw.

“Danvers told us it’s your birthday. What better way to spend it than with the Avengers? At least with the ones that are here right now,” Tony stated, slinging an arm over both our shoulders.

           “Hey, Stark! Paws off my Lila,” Carol snapped, returning with my drink and one for her as well. Setting them down, she pulled up a couple of chairs, the rest of her party gathering around us. Draping an arm around me, she held me close, shooting dagger eyes at Tony.

           “Uh, Danvers. I don’t think she’s really yours,” Steve stated, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the back of his chair.

           “Not yet anyway,” She shot back, kissing my cheek. I stood up abruptly, excusing myself to go to the bathroom, embarrassment flooding my entire body. Entering a stall, I sat down on the toilet, angry tears springing to my eyes.

           How could I have been so stupid? Why did I have to get caught? Now I’m being flirted with and being humiliated by friend in front of her, I thought to myself. The sobs racked my body, my hands gripping my hair behind my ears.

           “Lila? Are you all right? You’ve been gone a long time. Carol and Sarah are worried about you,” a voice called out.

           “Yeah, I’m fine,” I blurted out, pulling out some toilet paper, dabbing at my face, wiping off any evidence I had been crying. Unlocking the door, I strode out, coming face-to-face with the woman whose name was Wanda.

           “You don’t look okay. What’s wrong? Did Carol come on too strong?” She asked me.

           “It’s nothing. I think I’m going home. I’m not feeling too well,” I replied, washing my face with a wet paper towel, cleaning up the makeup from where it ran while I was crying. Peeking outside, I made sure the people at my table weren’t looking, planning my exit from the bar.

           “She likes you by the way. She has been watching you the whole night. You’re the first person she looks for when we come here. You shouldn’t leave. I know it might make you scared but come have fun with us. Tell her to back off a little if she’s flirting too much. Don’t go Lila,” Wanda stated, freezing me mid-step.

           “I can’t. Not with Sarah humiliating me in front of her. I’m sorry, but I can’t,” I told her before ducking out the front door. I had driven by myself, no worries about Sarah getting stranded at the bar. I wouldn’t step foot in Haven again, not until a couple of weeks later when work got be too much.

  Three Weeks Later

At work things had gotten stressful and it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right. Some people didn’t want to bother working or being slack on the cleaning, nothing positive coming out of anyone’s mouths; I really wanted to snap back at those who aggravated me. I desperately wanted a break and after a few hours spent pacing around my apartment debating on going to Haven, I gave in to driving to the bar hoping I would see her; I wanted to see Carol.

           I wanted to get out my frustration and the only thing I could think of was to tear off all of her clothes and fuck her until the sun rose high in the sky. Thank goodness I lived only 15 minutes away from that bar and today is a Friday; no work on the weekends. I parked my light blue sedan, getting out and stalked up to the front entrance, pulling open the large wooden door. Scanning the crowd, I spotted Carol with the same group of friends, laughing and having a good time at a table in the back of the bar. She was wearing a brown leather jacket, a black shirt and dark blue jeans, black boots to match; it was a magnificent site. My nervousness spiked knowing what I was about to do wasn’t a thing I’m known to do.

           Breathe, Lila. Go make her yours, I thought, taking a deep breath and straightening my back and marching through the sea of people toward their table. Her eyes flickered to me, eyes wide with surprise; she didn’t a chance to speak as my lips smashed against hers, my hands grasping a handful of her soft, blonde hair, yanking her body to mine. At first, I thought she had changed her mind about me, her lips immobile as I kissed her; that was true until her arms secured my body to hers, those plump, pink lips capturing mine in a rough, longing second kiss. Someone cleared his or her throat, breaking us apart for a moment.

           “Are you going to join us or…?” the voice belonging to Tony asked, gesturing to the table in front of us.

           “I’m sorry, but no. I must steal Carol away for the rest of the night. There…are things I want to do to her. Things I should have been bold enough to do earlier,” I replied. His eyebrows raised and his mouth gaped open, the implication of what I wanted to do extremely clear in his expression. I grabbed Carol’s hand, tugging her to the entrance of the bar, exiting to my car in order to take her home.

 At my apartment building, I parked and led her up to my apartment door, unlocking it to usher her inside. Closing the door and locking it behind us, I turned to face her, my lips connecting once again to hers, both hands now interlaced in all of her hair.

She backed me up against the door, my back slamming into it hard but I didn’t care. I wanted her, needed her now. I moved my hands down to her jacket, pushing it off of her, the material hitting the floor, her shoulders bare against my skin, the shirt being a tank top underneath that jacket. She lifted me so I could wrap my legs around her waist, her lips moving down to my neck; I tilted my head back at the contact, her lips sucking on my sweet spot.

           “Where’s your bedroom?” she asked, mid-kiss, returning back for more, her hands slipping under my periwinkle blue shirt, warm hands cupping my breast still in the bra I was wearing.

           “In the back room down the hallway,” I answered, moaning as she had pulled down one cup of my bra and brushed her thumb across my nipple; it hardened at her marvelous touch. She carried back to the bedroom, laying me down on the mattress, removing my shirt from my body, ripping the front of the bra freeing my breasts. The cool air of the air conditioning, hardened my nipples even more, prompting her to press her mouth to one; the hot saliva and the way she swirled her tongue around it causing me to arch my back. She pinched and twisted the other one, my hands clinging to her shoulders, nails digging into her supple skin. From my breast, she trailed a line of kisses down my stomach, that soft hair making me shiver in anticipation as she unbuttoned my jean shorts, pulling them off, leaving my panties on, not quite ready to have me naked in front of her.

She lifted me up to remove the remaining remnants of my bra, returning her lips to mine, one hand sliding underneath the silky fabric of my panties and stroking a finger against my core until she inserted one finger inside my body. My hands ventured to her tank top hem and I shifted it upwards, her movements pausing to let me take it off her, unhooking her bra and tossing to the side. I unbuttoned her jeans, yanking them down along with her underwear, while she decided to take mine off, tired of the fabric getting in the way of her touch.

           I moaned as she inserted two more fingers, stretching me. Faster she went as she pumped them in and out of me, bringing me to climax, drenching her fingers; a loud moan from me echoed around the room.

           “I love that sound from you. I’m going to make you come again just to hear it one more time. Or maybe I’ll make you come over and over so that it never ends,” she told me, replacing her fingers with her mouth. My hips bucked, my legs spreading further apart as my hands clenched at the sheets. She sucked on me, her tongue lapping at my juices; tiny moans escaping my lips, crying out her name as she made me come again.

           “You’re as delicious as you look,” Carol stated, licking her lips. I growled in delight and flipped her over onto her back, my turn to make her orgasm.

           “I’d like to taste you to see if you’re as scrumptious as you appear to be,” I commented, trailing kisses of my own to her core, spreading her and pinning her legs to the mattress so she wouldn’t escape the pleasure I was prepared to give her.

           “Lila, fuck! Keep…going. You’re…fantastic…with…your tongue. Lila!” she called out in between breathy moans, as I brought her to climax inside my mouth. She did indeed taste fantastic, her appearance definitely matching with it. We played with each other, our touches and kisses continuing until we were exhausted, sweaty, coming to cuddle right as the sun began to rise. We had opened the blinds to watch it, her body pressed up behind me, her blonde hair fanning out against the pillow.

           “It’s stunning, like you,” she stated, kissing my neck, snuggling closer if that was even possible. Turning to face her, I kissed her lips, a sweet moment compared to what we had been doing throughout the night.

           “I’d like to take you out on a proper date. I like you. A lot. Tonight I was frustrated because of my job and I’d like this to be more than what it seems. What do you say? Want to go out with me tomorrow night?” I told her, receiving a nod from her.

           “I’d like that very much. I’ve been crushing on you ever since the first night I stepped in that bar,” she said, caressing my cheek and kissing me for a final time; we both fell asleep in each other’s arms the beginning of a very special relationship.

[hyperwrites]

The Scars That Make Him: Chapter 1

Ao3

Stiles is ten when he and his dad moves to Beacon Hills. He is freshly without a mother, and arrives with an ugly scar marring his face. It starts directly under his right nostril, trails with a slight angle over his mouth and under his chin and then directly opposes the angle just to the right of his Adams’ apple. It follows the curve of it and continues straight down to his right collarbone, where it bumps over it and stops just a centimeter under the hard just of it. This is the only scar visible for all to see. He hates it’s origins, hates what it remind him of and what he’s lost. He wears it with a strange pride regardless, the pride shown only in survivors of terrible things. A pride to old for a ten year old to wear so confidently, like an old friend or familiar companion.

Stiles is only ten when his life changes, when his innocence is lost forever to the cruel mistress of human life.

___

The waxing gibbous moon shines bright over the treetops. Fate has her plans tonight, a destiny unwritten but well known that must be met. She sets it into motion with a simple push of wind on old wood, and a doorway opens in the Stilinski household. An old but loyal dog escapes into the dark, and the young Stilinski follows suit. He calls up help from the asthmatic McCall, loyal in his own, selfish, way. The two souls venture into the forest. Though the circumstances are different, they do not search for torn and shredded bodies; they do not separate as late as they should, the outcome will never change. The Stilinski child stumbles upon his loyal dog and the search party led by his father, and the McCall is nearly trampled and certainly bitten by a wolf.

___

Stiles slips out of his blue and trusty jeep, sweet sweet Betty, followed quickly by four-legged Roscoe. Today the dog wears his blue vest, matching the blue flannel showing under Stiles deep green hoodie. As usual, there is no leash in sight, despite the school’s requirement for one. They have long overlooked the fact, Roscoe has been around as long as Stiles himself has. They wait for Scott to arrive at school, Stiles’ idly petting the brown fur of Roscoe’s head as they sit on the steps. Scott’s beat up bike arrives not long after.

Stiles feels himself smile at his friends arrival, quickly ignoring the uncomfortable but familiar stretch it brings to his scar tissue. The thing is no longer the obvious shock-white it had been when it first appeared, but it remains an obvious lighter shade to his skin, and easily splits three of his moles into jagged halves. He turns his mind to Scott’s tale of the night before, apparently his friend had found the body his father was looking for, but lost his inhaler in the process. The claims of a wolf bite, however, are absolutely ridiculous.

“Look, Scotty, it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just that it literally can’t be a wolf.” “Stiles, you weren’t there, I know what I saw.” “There aren’t wolves in California dude, haven’t been for 60 years.” “Oh.”

Scott looks defeated at the news, most likely bummed his bitten-by-a-wolf story is now a much more boring bitten-by-a-dog one. Stiles doesn’t try to lift his friends feelings, knowing far better than to try the impossible. Instead he distracts Scott with the beginning of the Fall Semester, and with it, Lacrosse Try-outs. He himself knows that his spot at bench-warmer is guaranteed, and he certainly isn’t going to attempt to get a field position. But Scott wants to get first line this year, and so Stiles will gladly support his inane idea, no matter are far-out and impossible they are.

Things only get weird though. Roscoe is acting strange around Scott, suspiciously submissive around the teen, and Scott as a weird moment in English were he offers the new girl (He thinks her name is Allison) a pen he had no previous clue to her even needing. It only get’s worse, with Scott seeming to completely ignore him and Madison in the hall, somehow hearing what Allison and Lydia are talking about despite them being more then 10 feet away and whispering. Something is up with Scott McCall and Stiles is going to get to the bottom of it.

___

It’s so much weirder at Lacrosse Try-outs. Scott gets chosen to play goalie while everyone (minus Stiles) throws goal-shots at him. Scott catches his first one, in fact, he catches them all. Even Jackson’s. If he didn’t know better, he would assume steroids or some other athletic enhancement drug, but he does. Scott’s as innocent as a butterfly, would never even accidentally do drugs. So something fishy is going on. Scott doesn’t even seem concerned though, simply ecstatic that all his practicing actually worked. Stiles knows though, without a doubt, that his practicing at best would have only gotten him to second line and nowhere near first.

He, unfortunately, doesn’t get a word in edgewise with all of Scott’s rambling about Allison and finally getting his life together. He would almost say that Scott is talking more than even Stiles could, but he’s fully aware of how carried away he can get. Before he knows it, him and Scott are back out in the woods looking for Scott’s inhaler. Those things aren’t cheap, and while Stiles has a backup for Scott, he would rather not waste it if he can avoid it. Roscoe trots dutifully in front of them, leading the way while he and Scott finally have proper conversation.

“Maybe it was a werewolf dude.” Scott balks at the idea, no imagination whatsoever bumping around in his noggin. “Yeah, right. Because werewolves totally exist.”

Except, Stiles actually thinks about it. Scott had told him he could literally hear Allison while she as outside the school building. It would be one thing if she’d been outside the classroom door, or right near the windows, but apparently she had been on the other side of the courtyard when Scott reported hearing her. That plus the sudden athletic prowess and suspicious lack of asthma attacks or just wheezy breath- werewolves are looking kind of plausible right now. Scott isn’t even limping or favoring his side like he had been that morning, when his bite wound had only been hours old. Stiles would bet his jeep that the “dog bite” was gone or quickly on its way there. He’s about to seriously suggest the idea to Scott when the sudden voice of Derek motherfucking Hale spooks the ever loving shit out of him.

“This is Private Property.”

Roscoe immediately returns to Stiles side at his surprise, and Stiles instinctively places a hand onto the dogs soft forehead. Scott doesn’t jolt at all, though he does look mildly surprised. Stiles momentarily squints his eyes at his friend, clearly remembering that Scott is just as jumpy as he is normally.

“Are you deaf? I said this is private property, so leave.”

Derek’s voice rings out again, and Stiles feels a bit of irritation at the presumption tone the Hale uses. He turns his squinty gaze to the older teen, full intensity locked onto his chiseled face.

“Actually, the county reclaimed about a year ago- after all there were no able-bodied Hales living here.”

It’s a low blow- and Stiles really hate pointing it out, especially in such manner and tone. He knows all about losing loved ones, even if it’s not to the scale of what Derek must of lost. But the older teen is getting on his nerves and needs to be knocked down a peg or two, he and Scott have every right to be there. (Somehow though, Stiles still feels like what Derek said is true. How despite the legal nature of who owns the land, it will always belong to the Hale’s). Derek scowls at him, clearly not happy with his words or tone no matter how true they are. Something about Derek sends warning bells off in Stiles’ head, and he and Roscoe seem to shift into high alert at the same time. The change brings Derek’s attention to the German Sheppard by Stiles side, and Stiles absolutely hates the calculating gaze behind the green eyes. “Sorry man- we were just looking for my inhaler, I dropped around here last night.”

Scott’s words bring Derek’s attention back to the two of them, and Stiles relaxes a little without the scrutinizing glare on his dog. Derek’s eyes seem to narrow even more, glare becoming almost deadly sharp, and Stiles is very glad that eye’s can’t actually cut anything, or he and Scott would need some medical care. Derek throws something at Scott, too fast for Stiles to really process what he’s throwing or that he even moved at all until after it’s done. Scott, however, managed to catch the thing with ease, holding it against his chest for all of a second before looking to see what it was. It’s revealed to be the inhaler in question, and Stiles idly wonders how Scott managed to catch something moving so fast when not even days ago he couldn’t he catch something going much slower. Of course, he’s pretty sure he knows the answer already.

Derek looks unimpressed, but the calculating look is back in his eyes. Stiles narrows his own in turn, no liking at all what that could mean for Scott. If he’s right about the werewolf thing, it could mean that Derek is also a werewolf, or even a hunter. Because if werewolves turn out to be real then it would be a no-brainer to assume that werewolf hunters are also a thing that exist.

“Leave.”

Derek’s tone brokers no room for argument, so before Scott can get uppity about being told what to do, Stiles wisely leads him the fuck outta there. He briskly walks them away, trying to put some distance between them and Derek Maybe A Werewolf Hale. He has no clue if he’s right about this, but on the off-chance he is and the super senses are a regular werewolf think, he wants to make sure that Derek doesn’t overhear them.

“Dude stop dragging me-” “Don’t you realize who that was?” “Uh no, super creepy if you ask me, what was he doing out he-” “Scotty that was Derek Hale, you know, of the Hale Fire and the Hale House Ruins? His whole family minus him and his sister got burned alive-” “Oh shit dude, really?” “Yes really, I wonder what he’s doing back in town, I was sure he would never come back after what happened.” “Stiles, who cares? He’s creepy and I have my inhaler, let’s just get out of here.”

Stiles sighs in response. He’s not really surprised at Scott’s response. Scott has never been the brightest bulb, he probably thinks that whatever changes he’s going through are natural at best and rabies at worst. If Stiles is right, and it’s looking like he is with every passing minute, then he has his work cut out for him.

___

Stiles’ first scar is received at the ripe age of four. A simple starburst of shock-white just under the dimple of his left knee. At this age, he is all babbling brook speech over crooked rock beds and four lengthy limps that stumble clumsy like over uneven ground and not-there cracks. It’s no mystery how nor why he falls and scrapes his knee onto harsh sharp rocks. Only a wonder in how he did it in the cityscape park where no such rock can be found. His mother laughs off the injury, just as energetic as he and simply antiseptic wipes and bandages the bleeding skin. A kiss that makes a younger Stiles’ think of mother’s magic healing touch over the band-aid. The injuries pain seems to disappear in thin air with the gesture, and upon looking back Stiles will wonder if it was all in his mind or is something more was happening under the surface, but in present time as an enchanted four year old, Stiles simply giggles with glee and demands ice cream from his favorite parlor.

It’s the first of many similar scars, all the pain washed away by the same magic kiss only mothers seem to know. It is only looked upon fondly by older amber eyes in the futures, when the scar is nothing more than a strange change in texture on the knee. The first of many to come, but held in special memory of long gone simpler times, nostalgia worn. It is one of few that brings a smile to his eyes.

[i-might-be-a-kpop-fan]

KPOP SONGS! Part 2/?

So I thought I’d make a list of the songs in my „kpop“ playlist and write a little about them because I’m bored. These are supposed to be chronological, but after looking at the list I’m not so sure about it also because I love to buy music in bulks. 

PT.1

THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS/EXPERIENCES TAKE IT WITH A PINCH OF SALT AND DON’T KILL ME! 

Also write me if you wanna chat about it :D 

ZUTTER - GD & T.O.P:

 This song is a little scary tbh, apart from the badass vibes

I always loved T.O.P’s deep ass voice and with GD’s high pitched rap it’s just perfect

The MV is funny, creepy and a bit fucked up but what did we expect honestly :D

They rhyme aLOT in this song which makes it really interesting to listen to

made me addicted to the GD & T.O.P combination 

…..ZUTTER!

THE BADDEST FEMALE - CL:

 It took me a while to understand that this isn’t a solo version of „I’m the best“

It’s the queen saying she’s a bad bitch so you know it’s a banger

As almost all CL songs this is good to let off steam and regain your badass level after someone pissed you off

The MV is a sexual awakening on it’s own and performances of that song are also definitely worth a watch

„Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good you know?“

Perfect to practice bitch drops and feel yourself to

Burning Up (Fire) - BTS:

 So I don’t really listen a lot to it but I still like it

Has all kinds of badass vibes and I like the soft breaks in-between

RM’s part is by far my favourite his deep voice is so satisfying

The MV is also really cool

You can see from previous songs I had a badass song phase (I still have this phase, I love badass songs) where I only took badass kpop songs seriously

Growl - EXO: 

Okay, so I sometimes forget about this song haha

A good song that screams SM to be honest which I always thought was not that much the case with other EXO songs

The dance to this is really satisfying to watch and was probably the reason I bought this song

It shows EXO’s excellent vocals, has a nice feel and is easy to listen to 

Quite an early song too

I love that you could potentially dance really hard to this but still is very soft

Instantly recognisable and also a kpop classic I would say

GOOD BOY - GD & Taeyang: 

 Is this a kink? This is a kink right?

An awesome song i have bopped to a million times

I really love the „pretty/good boy“ trope and who is better for that then our bad boys™️ GD and Taeyang?

Their voices sound a bit alike and I sometimes had trouble differencing them….whoops

The dance is so so good and the MV is such an accurate representation of these two freaks

God I just love them and miss them so much

I am the best (JP. Ver) - 2ne1:

Welcome to another round of Aki isn’t capable of differencing Japanese and Korean lol

I must say I prefer this version though, I recently bought the korean version and it’s just not the same I got so used to the english parts lol 

This is also a classic, bow to the queens of badass girl group songs!

The MV made me fall in love with CL and the gang

„It’s 2 in the morning our bodies getting freaky, the beats bumping loud but this boy keeps talking! I can’t really hear him but I think he’s saying he loves me? Put his number on this paper but i throw it like frisbee, huh?“

I C O N I C this song raised me, fed me, dressed me and gave me the kick in the butt I needed.

Oh my god! 

BOOMBAYAH - BLACKPINK:

 Why of course after discovering 2ne1 BP wasn’t far behind

Recently showed this MV to a non kpop friend of mine and she drooled over all of them soooo, you can do that

Loved this song the second it started and love dancing violently to it

I now, btw, also own the whole album but it took me a bit to get into them (I was in girl group denial, don’t be like me show them girls some love!)

OPPA!

Being only four really makes it possible for all of them to shine, the vocals are clean and pretty but raspy enough to fit the concept and Jennie and Lisas raps are perfect as always

The beat is easy as is the whole song, doesn’t get annoying and is just a bop.  

Fantastic Baby - BIGBANG:

Nananananananana wow, fantastic baby!

Well well well if it isn’t history right there

Watch the MV, listen to the song! It’s mandatory to know this I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

Danceable, walkable just all in all go crazy(-able)

Boomshakalaka! 

A bit poppy so maybe not for everyone as it sounds a lot like stuff that is randomly on the radio

A dance song that probably was never intended to be more than that. Typically YG, a bit flatter than Bang Bang Bang

I’m repeating myself but you know I heard it’s also something non kpop people enjoy (Basically show them all of BIGBANG, lol)

Ice cream cake - Red Velvet:

Oh boy! My first Red Velvet song that I have because the refrain was stuck in my head and I wanted to know what it was

There’s way more RV later on but for now I think it was the only song

As I said I was in denial of girl groups that didn’t have a badass concept which was soooo dumb!

I love the song, it’s cute and easy to listen to

I love RV’s kinda cute-creepy concept and with the music box in the background it feeds into my liking very easily

I have moved on from it though after discovering other songs from them so I don’t listen to it as often

„I scream, you scream, gimme that, gimme that ice cream!“

Sherlock (Clue + Note) - SHINee:

I have known this song for years! Back when my best friend was into kpop and told me all about SHINee I looked into it, Youtube gave me this song and I instantly clicked. Didn’t like it clicked away and didn’t touch it for 5 years

Well now I love it and can’t stop dancing when it’s on

„SHINees back….“

The MV is confusing but god they’re all so cute in it! Taemin looks so adorable with long hair!

I have watched the dance practice about 100x times and you should too! (jk)

„Tonight, SHINee’s in da house! So give it up for SHINee!“

And as much as I love SHINee’s vocal squad and they’re great in this, Key and Minho really do it for me in this song

The song lives from the dance and the performance and makes it 10x better

It’s also good for just listening though but not really calm and casual so be prepared to break out into sudden song

„Oh I’m curious, yeah!“ (Is it noticeable that I’m listening to it while I write? probably not.)

Breaking News - SHINee:

 And my struggle with japanese songs continues haha

„Come on break down the walls!“

I really like this song though, especially the refrain it’s so much fun

It’s also really danceable (as I think every SHINee song is, I mean have you seen them dance?)

Partly really dramatic (slay Onew slay), partly badass rapping

I mean it’s SHINee it’s fun bright and has a dance rhythm what more could you possibly want?

Ring Ding Dong - SHINee:

 Yeah, i doubt you don’t know this one

Coincidently the first kpop MV I watched after deciding to dive deeper down the rabbit hole and well would you know it…now we’re here

It’s the one about the broken doorbell! Break it down!

This song and dance is Legendary!

Also a fun song that isn’t to be taken too seriously

The MV is kinda dramatic for this song lol

Good to listen to, has a nice beat and melody

There are these songs that every idol can dance to, this is one of them (In the list of “songs every idol can dance to” you’d find a LOT of SHINee btw)

„Ringdingdongringdindongringdigidingdigiding“

SHAKE THAT BRASS - AMBER (feat. Taeyon):

Amber…oh Amber. I love her really a whole lot and as I saw the MV I just had to have this song!

It’s a super fun and dancey song with (as the title suggests) a brassy sound

Much like Woof Woof I really enjoy this song bc of the MV, 

Amber is rapping and being the goofball she is ;)

BUT! As much as I like that song and think she deserves all the solo stuff she can get I like her new stuff more because it’s more „hers“. I really enjoy her singing as well.

And confession of the month: I don’t like f(x)’s sound so I’m happy she does solo stuff

She’s such an inspiration with her unique style and attitude (sighs in very gay)

 Lucifer - SHINee:

 I LOVE this song! OMG!

The MV is kinda uneventful but the DANCE PRACTICE!

Oh boy! Well first off Lee Taemin is very distracting in it but you have to see the dance to believe it! That’s what they perform with! On a regular basis!

The sound is very electric and theres a quiet electric melody running through the whole of it that kinda sounds like some alarm clocks lol

Edgy™️

You should absolutely watch performances! Jonghyuns high note is not portrayed well in the recorded version, boy has breath forever!

Apart from the vocals slaying absolutely every note the rap parts can’t be discarded by any means

It all just fits so perfectly

Oh and of course for a song of it’s time it’s just a little bit...nonsensical (especially the english parts lol: Loverholic, robotronic. what?)

Hero - MONSTA X:

 I’m thinking of a helicopter landing platform, pulled up shirts and a scared Wonho 

The dance to this song is…well do yourself a favour if you like abs and boys

Apart from the drool worthy performance, the song is super cool! Kinda chill, but still powerful and damn rapline went off!

This song really made them known more and it’s for a good reason

The sound in this is what is „typically“ MX for long time (Till up until Jealousy I’d say)

„I can be your hero, I can be your man!“

Sometimes a bit repetitive but what song isn’t lol?

Also still is in the „we all dress awful and don’t know what to do with our hands“ phase but that passes soon

Lead to many wonderful reality shows that makes it easy for new fans to get to know them better (Their group dynamic never changes they all just mature a bit it’s really nice to see.)

Also yes, Jooheon is kinda scary in this but I swear he a cutie

[a-splash-of-stucky]

A Messed Up Place | Five

Pairings: Bucky x Reader || Steve x Reader

Summary: Bucky tries to take his mind off you. Things don’t go as planned.

Warnings: Borderline smut (basically just some intense making out). Language, as usual.  I think that’s it....?

Notes: For @hellomissmabel’s challenge. I spent two hours or so writing this, instead of writing up my notes. Can you tell that I’ve got my priorities in check?

Also -- we’re a third of the way through the series, more or less! 

AMUP Masterlist

Bucky Barnes is very much conscious of the fact that his grave has already been dug. He’s now playing a waiting game, just hanging around, holding onto his will to live by the thinnest of threads. He’ll stick around until the final nail in his coffin is hammered into place and then—well. Then his worries will be gone, won’t they?

The nail-biting suspense consumes his every moment, hovering in the back of his mind like a pesky fly. No matter how hard he tries to shove the fear away, it always comes swirling back, stronger than ever. It’s all he can do to wait.

So he waits.

And waits.

And — goddammit when is Steve going to come and talk to him?!

It’s been nearly two weeks since Bucky decided to drink himself stupid in his bathtub and pour his heart out to Steve Rogers, aka the world’s most clueless best friend. Although a tiny part of Bucky is clinging to the hope — hah, hope. What a far-fetched concept — that Steve did not pay attention to Bucky’s drunken ramblings and has no idea who Bucky was talking about, a significantly larger part of him knows Steve. In fact, Bucky knows Steve better than Steve knows himself, sometimes. And if Bucky knows anything about Steve, it is that the man is smarter than appearances would imply. It’s tough to pull a fast one on him.

Which means that Bucky’s pretty sure that Steve knows that he was talking about you. Oh, who is he kidding? He wasn’t just talking about you, he was fucking professing his love for you. Bucky was essentially laying bare his heart and soul, spilling them all over the bathroom floor in vivid shades of love-struck red.

Bucky remembers the paralysing terror that gripped his muscles when he woke up the next morning and recalled the events of the night before. His memory of those couple of hours are fuzzy at best, tinged with the warm glow of alcohol-induced haziness, but he remembers the general gist of what was said and knows that it’s as convicting a piece of evidence as any. There’s no two ways about it; Bucky was referring to you.

Steve knows that Bucky has feelings for his girl.

What Bucky doesn’t know is why on earth Steve hasn’t approached him about it. It’s been over two weeks since the bathroom incident. In that time, Steve has carried on as normal, acting like nothing’s wrong between them. He’s behaving as if nothing’s changed, like everything’s right in the world. Then again, maybe Bucky’s just reading too much into the situation.

But because Steve has been going on with business-as-usual, he’s been dragging Bucky to the gym and out on runs at any given opportunity, trying to spend time together. Of course, Bucky wants to do anything but spend time with Steve — because really, why would he put himself through the torment of scrutinising every second, wondering when Steve will finally confront him — but he knows that avoiding Steve would come across as overly suspicious. Hence, although Bucky would much prefer hiding out in his room or some other, equally private and Steve-free place, he forces himself to plaster on fake smile after fake smile, laughing and swaggering around the place like nothing’s fucked up about him.

He’s terrified of what might happen if he were to stop pretending.

Maybe Steve wants Bucky to broach the topic. Or maybe, Steve is okay with sweeping the issue under the rug, pretending that it never happened, attributing it all to the looseness of tongue that comes from drinking a tad too much Asgardian mead. Bucky wouldn’t put that past him; in fact, pretending like it never happened in order to preserve Bucky’s pride sounds exactly like the kind of self-sacrificing thing that Steve Rogers would do.

Ah crap. He’s overthinking again.

Bucky is fully aware that he could put himself out of his misery if he just plucked up the courage and actually just talked to Steve, but therein lies the issue. Bucky doesn’t have courage. No matter what people say about him — he’s a coward at heart. Too afraid to tell you that he loved you and now, too afraid to come clean with Steve and potentially lose the trust of the only person who understands him in this strange new world.

Bucky wonders about a lot of things, but a thought that keeps on popping up is how Steve would react. Would he end his relationship with you so that Bucky could take his place? The two of you are pretty serious, so it’s a highly unlikely scenario, but still.

He’d like to think that there’s a chance.

He doesn’t deserve you, but Bucky wants you all the same. He doesn’t deserve you, but he wants to deserve you, wants to work his ass off to show you how much he cares. It’s conflicting, it’s confusing and it’s maddening enough that sometimes, all Bucky wants to do is ram his head against a wall. Several times. At full, no-holding-back, super-strength force. He’d bang his head several times, knock the thoughts of his head — or, y’know, knock himself out. Whichever came first.

It’s these kinds of thoughts that keep him up at night.

Bucky sighs heavily as he rolls onto his side and checks the clock he keeps on his bedside table. Seven minutes past five in the morning is an acceptable time to get up, no?  To be fair, he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before — three hours, at a stretch — but then again, when does he ever get more than four hours of sleep a night, anyway? Nowadays, thoughts of you, thoughts of Steve and worries about his life in general are enough fodder for his brain to chew over, keeping him tossing and turning well into the quiet hours of the morning.

He needs a distraction.

A distraction of a particular kind. Bucky knows that it’d only be a temporary fix, will only take his mind off the hell that his life has become — take his mind off you — for a couple of hours if he’s lucky, but fuck. He needs it. He needs a break from the raucous cacophony that is the inside of his head.

With a weary sigh, Bucky heaves himself out of bed, pulls on a pair of sweatpants and yesterday’s t-shirt, then trudges out to the into the common area in search of her. If he’s lucky, she’ll be here.

Natasha never was one for sleep.

Sure enough, when Bucky enters the spacious living room that functions as the compound’s main lounge area, he finds Natasha curled up on the plush armchair in the corner, mug of coffee in one hand, legs tucked underneath her body and a book propped up on the armrest of her chair. She’s dressed in slim-fit black jeans and a striped grey hoodie, with a splash of red on her lips to match the fiery redness of her hair. It’s not uncommon for him to find her like this most mornings. The two of them hardly ever sleep through the night — in fact, Bucky’s fairly certain that she sustains herself entirely on power naps throughout the day — so they’ve developed a kind of amiable, if rather silent, morning routine around each other.

Bucky knows that she’s heard him come in, so that fact that she’s chosen to not acknowledge him is entirely on purpose. He flops into the the two-seater sofa directly opposite her and clears his throat.

“Natasha?”

Her gaze flicks up sharply, coming to rest on him. Her eyes narrow almost imperceptibly as she studies him for all of two seconds, makes some sort of judgement in her mind and decides that Bucky is worth her attention. She lifts her mug to her cherry-red lips, poised to take a sip. Before she does, though, she arches an eyebrow inquisitively, as if to say go on, I’m listening.

Bucky licks his lips. “I need a favour,” he admits.

She makes a thoughtful humming noise, sips her coffee, then sets her mug and book down on the decorative side table to her left.

“Tell me more,” she replies.

———————

Amy is nice, by most people’s standards. More then nice, even. She’s got bleached-blonde hair that brushes her shoulders, a charming but not overtly-memorable face and a killer body, highlighted by the skin-tight blue velvet dress she’s wearing. Amy is kind enough to chuckle at Bucky’s half-hearted attempts at humour and is interesting enough to keep the conversation flowing easily.

He doesn’t know much about her background, only the barest details that Natasha thought would be useful to him. Bucky knows that she’s ex-SHIELD, went with Natasha on a couple of missions whilst the two were based in DC. Her skill-set meant that she got snatched up by a private security firm the moment SHIELD ceased to exist and now works as a bodyguard for high-level female clients. To be honest, Bucky doesn’t give a flying fuck about her background. All he cares about is the fact that she’s pretty, she’s sweet and she’s almost enough to take his mind off you.

Almost.

The waiter comes by at that moment, bottle of fancy red wine in one hand. He tops up their glasses and asks if everything’s alright.

“We’re fine, thank you,” Amy says, flashing him a polite smile.

She’s got nice teeth, Bucky notices absentmindedly. Takes care of her oral hygiene, he supposes. Good to know, given the fact that he’s probably going to get up-close-and-personal with her teeth in under an hour.

Sure, a part of him — the last remnants of James Buchanan Barnes, ladies-man of the 1930s — does feel a twinge of guilt at the thought of what tonight means. He’d been explicit with Natasha. He’d told her that he wanted a girl with a nice enough personality that he could stand having dinner with, and a nice enough body for him to fuck his way through his grief. It’s terrible of him, he knows this, but goddammit, how else is he supposed to give himself a break from thoughts of you?

To his credit, Bucky knows that Amy is under no illusions about what this evening is about. They’re going through the notions of dinner at a respectable restaurant just to make Bucky feel a little less terrible about himself; an attempt to pretend that chivalry is still alive and thriving. In reality, he and Amy know exactly where this night is headed: to her apartment. Possibly her bed, although Bucky’s not picky about where they do it. This is a fuck-date, through and through.

Bucky shifts in his seat and readjusts the rolled-up sleeves of his white dress shirt. Amy catches him fidgeting and raises one perfectly-manicured eyebrow.

“D’you wanna stay for dessert, or would you rather have something at my place?” she asks, batting her eyelashes suggestively.

Bucky chuckles, decides to play along with her game. “What kinda dessert are you offering, ma’am?”

Amy laughs softly as she pushes around the remains of her pasta with her fork. “Well…I was thinking…something sweet?”

“I like sweet,” Bucky murmurs, spooning the last of his mushroom risotto into his mouth.

“Mmm, maybe we could even have dessert in bed,”.

“Now you’re talking my language,” Bucky chuckles, waggling his eyebrows knowingly. The corner of her lips crooks up into a half-smile. It’s settled, then. Bucky signals to the waiter, pays for the bill, then leads Amy out of the restaurant with a hand resting on the small of her back.

The cab ride to her apartment is blissfully short, no more than ten minutes. Amy drapes her body against Bucky’s side; a pleasant source of warmth. She keeps her hand on his thigh, idly stroking up and down the inner seam of his dark skinny jeans, starting from the inside on his knee and stopping just a fraction short of where his dick is. He knows she’s doing it on purpose, trying to rile him up and boy does it work.

Bucky exits the cab with his leather jacket folded over one arm and strategically held in front of his body, to hide the semi he’s got going on. He catches Amy’s eyes flickering over him, the tiny smirk on her lips; she’s clearly aware of the effect she’s having on him.

She knows what she’s doing when she exists the elevator first, walking a few steps of Bucky so that he can admire the sinuous curve of her back and the gentle swish in her hips as she walks down the corridor to her place. Bucky knows that she knows that he’s watching, knows that she’s probably exaggerating the sway of her hips for his benefit, but damn, she looks good in those heels. His dick presses up a little bit harder against the fly of his jeans.

Her apartment is neat and nondescript, largely devoid of any kind of personalised touches. It’s the home of someone who’s hardly ever home, lacking the decor and finishing touches that give a place a lived-in feel. Bucky kicks the door shut behind him and allows himself to be pressed to the wall. Amy leans in close, but pauses a hair’s breadth away from his lips, giving him one last chance for him to back out.

The room stills. Tension is fraught in the air. She’s close enough that Bucky can feel her hair tickling his stubbled cheek, can feel the warmth of her breath against his lips every time she exhales.

Tonight is not about backing out.

Bucky surges forward, cupping the back of her neck with his flesh hand as he crushes their lips together. Amy responds in kind, immediately catching onto the fact that tonight is not the night for gentle touches and tender caresses. Bucky wants it rough, wants it tinted with the red-hot filter of pain. He nips at her bottom lip and, when she moans heatedly, slips his tongue into her mouth, flicking it around teasingly. Amy huffs in frustration and fists her hands into the front of his shirt, using her grip to bodily yank him over to her sofa.

She pushes Bucky into the cushions and stands between his spread thighs. Bucky runs his hands up the backs of her legs, slipping them underneath her skirt and letting them rest just below the swell of her ass. Her hair is fluffy and slightly disheveled, eyes heavy-lidded and pupils blown with desire. She kicks her heels off then climbs into Bucky’s lap, shins bracketing the outsides of his thighs.

Amy’s close enough that Bucky can feel the heat radiating off her like a furnace. He leans into her touch as she trails her fingers down his cheek, humming in approval as she scratches her nails against the skin behind his ear. Amy licks her bottom lip coquettishly, cocks her head to the side and comes in close, brushing her lips against Bucky’s own.

Bucky feels like he’s been starved of touch as of late, so he lets his hands roam wherever they may go; kneading her ass, smoothing over her hips and trailing up her back. Amy’s nimble fingers begin to undo the buttons of his shirt as she presses her lips to his more insistently, deepening the kiss. Bucky closes his eyes and lets her tongue into his mouth, tries to lose himself in the moment, attempts to make the dissonant racket inside his head quieten down to ambient white noise.

As is to be expected, he fails.

Kissing Amy, drinking in her taste, feeling her up is all well and good but it’s not…it’s not you. It’s wrong. It’s all wrong, doing this. Bucky is conflicted. Her smell is wrong. It’s too flowery, too sweet, a far cry from the fresh, crisp scent of your skin. Perhaps that’s a good thing, he tells himself. But as much as Bucky tries to convince his mind that this is what he needs, he knows that in reality, he’s just lying to himself.

He doesn’t need Amy.

It’s not Amy’s laugh that makes his heart thrum a little bit faster. It’s not Amy’s touch that makes Bucky feel complete. It’s not Amy’s eyes that calm the storm that rages inside him.

He doesn’t need Amy. He needs you.

There’s a sinking feeling settling into the pit of his stomach, like someone’s dropped an anchor and is bringing tonight’s events to their premature end. With much reluctance and a heaving sigh, Bucky pushes hard against Amy’s shoulders and forces her to sit back in his lap.

“What’s wrong?” she asks breathlessly, raking her fingers through her hair to push it out of her face.

Bucky sighs again, smiles apologetically and scratches at his chin. “I—I’m sorry. I can’t do…this,” he mutters, using one hand to gesture in vague circles between them. “It’s not you…it’s me,” he says immediately, “Sorry. I—you’ve been great, but I just…can’t. M’sorry,”.

He braces himself internally for the slap. The rejection, disdain and disappointment. He is surprised when it does not come.

“There’s someone else, huh?” Amy murmurs, cocking her head to one side as her understanding dawns on her expression.

Bucky winces. “Um..kind of? I—yeah. It’s…it’s real complicated,”.

Amy exhales a breath of air in a rapid whoosh, nodding her head as she makes a disappointed clucking sound with her tongue. “Well. I kinda knew. I was expecting this, if I’m honest,”.

Bucky’s gaze snaps towards her. “You what?”

Amy shrugs. “Kinda had an inkling the moment I sat down at that table, Barnes. You weren’t in the right headspace for a hookup. Been reading the bad vibes off you this entire night — s’ kinda what I’m paid to do,” she says.

“Damn it,” Bucky grumbles, “I really was making an effort,”.

“Really?” Amy asks, the teasing lilt returning to her voice. “You call that makin’ an effort? You were a terrible kisser,”.

“Hey!” Bucky protests.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Amy chuckles, petting his cheek. “No, it’s fine, I was prepared for this to happen, so I’m not that disappointed, really,”

“Sorry,” Bucky says again; quieter, more sincerely this time.

She smiles gently, rests her hand against the side of his neck. “Don’t be sorry. I get it. I hope things work out for you, Bucky,”.

The right side of his lips twitches in a wan attempt at a smile. “Me too,” he breathes. Amy appraises him for a moment longer, then swings her legs off him and throws herself onto her couch, sprawling ungracefully across the empty space.

She lifts her head up slightly to look at him. “D’you wanna stay, or…?”

Bucky shakes his head ruefully as he does up the top buttons on his shirt and looks around for where his jacket’s been discarded. “I…think I’ll be heading back now, if it’s all the same to you,” he tells her.

Amy waves her hand dismissively, “Eh, the new season of Stranger Things is out, and I need to catch up on that anyway. It’s no big deal, for me,”. Bucky mentally thanks Amy for being so cool with all this. He needs to tell Nat to send her a thank-you present of some sort. Bucky stands up and retrieves his jacket from where it’s been dropped on the floor. He bunches it up in both hands as he chews on his lip and stands awkwardly in her entrance hallway.

“Something wrong?” Amy calls.

“This was…it was nice, Amy,” Bucky says, shooting her a half-smile, “I had fun, I really did. I’m sorry I…yeah. this was fun,”.

“It was,” she agrees, “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to take your mind off whoever this was. Must be one hell of a crush you got there, Barnes; most men find me irresistible when I’m grinding in their laps,”.

“I will admit, you almost had me, at one point,” Bucky laughs, as he shrugs on his jacket.

“Damn. I’m losing my touch,” she mutters.

Bucky chuckles as he turns the handle of her door. “Bye, Amy. Thanks for—everything,”.

“It was a pleasure. Have a good night, Bucky,”.

———————

It’s a clear night, so Bucky decides to get off the train a few stops early and walk the rest of the way to the compound. His rationale is that the crisp, slightly chilly night air will help to clear his mind.

He’ll take anything that has even the slightest chance of clearing his mind, at this stage.

Bucky can’t stop thinking about you. He’s in love and he’s suffering as a result. Every thought he has of you is bittersweet; you are his pleasure and his sole source of pain, his light and the very reason for the darkness threatening to consume him.

Bucky’s mind is a mess of emotions right now. His pissed off with himself, envious of Steve, frustrated with the universe and generally fed-up with how shit his life has become. He knows that the two of you aren’t together — you were never together in the first place — so he has no right to feel like this. Why should he feel protective and jealous and angered in a way that has his hands clenching into tightly-balled fists? Bucky has no right to feel this way, especially not when he factors Steve into the equation, but none of that — none of the rationalising of what is right and wrong and should and shouldn’t be — changes the fact that he does feel.

He feels too much.

Tonight was a bust. Bucky knows that he’s fully entitled to sleep with another woman. There’s no way you could’ve held that against him, what with you being in a committed relationship with Steve, and all. Even so, Bucky can’t help but feel that by sleeping with Amy, he would’ve been cheating on you, in some way. It’s utterly irrational, but fucking Amy would’ve felt dirty and sinful in all the wrong ways, like he’d be betraying your trust, somehow. He knows that that thought is complete nonsense, but it’s one that he can’t ignore.

That seems to be the recurring theme, Bucky notes. He knows. He knows this, he knows that, but the fact is, he knows. And yet, no matter what the logical part of his brain is telling him to do, Bucky never seems to be able to listen to it. It seems that his body is hard-wired to follow the instincts of his love-stricken heart, and look where that’s taken him.

In a way, he’s glad of the way the night’s turned out. Amy doesn’t deserve to be used that way, as if she were a means to an end. She’s more than just a temporary patch-up for a problem that has no solution. Bucky has fucked up a lot in recent weeks; he doesn’t need to go out of his way to make yet another mistake.

His feet have carried him to the gates of the compound without him even realising where he was going. Bucky taps his access code into the panel, lets FRIDAY scan his thumbprint and then makes his way up the gravel drive once the gate lets him through.

It’s just after midnight when he slips through the front door, so Bucky’s pretty surprised when he sees that the hallway light is still on. Most of the lights in the compound are operated via sensors, with FRIDAY automatically turning them off when no one’s in the room. Bucky catches the low thud of footsteps and—

—his breath catches in his throat.

“Heya, Bucky,” you chirp. You’re dressed in a pair of loose flannel pyjama pants and one of Steve’s t-shirts. A glass of water is in your hand.

“Hey,” Bucky croaks. God. How do you manage to make fucking pyjamas look sexy?

“Nat told me you went out tonight. Had fun?” you ask, eyes quickly taking in his outfit.

“Umm…yeah, it was okay, I guess,” Bucky murmurs distractedly, “Not the best night of my life,”.

“Hmm, well…” you let your voice trail off as you glance down the corridor, “I—um..I better…Steve’s waiting, I think,”.

Bucky’s eyes widen a fraction before he catches himself. “Oh. Yeah, yeah, sorry—didn’t mean to keep you,”.

“No, it’s fine!” you assure him, as you shuffle down the corridor, towards your room. “G’night, Bucky,”.

“Night,” Bucky replies.

Bucky doesn’t bother to add the ‘good’ because there’s nothing good about tonight. Not for him, at least.

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