#i get a normal amount of anxious about things that objectively are awesome and i am hyped about (lying)

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

oh shit new tma gonna happen: 👍

one of the nice things about listening to it currently being the fact that it already ended a bit ago so i dont have to deal with the stress of being up-to-date on it or having to deal real-time fandom things i can just enjoy it in my own time and there is a set "end" that is already established and also since it all had already came out i can binge listen and not have to worry about running out of content because as i already mentioned there is an end that's already established and set and i know what it is. but now that i know in the future there is going to be new content it completely throws out all of those aspects: 👎

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

Caffeinated drinks, black dots and I should’ve stayed at home

Kanene’s Notes: Heya, heya awesome beans! Howz you are all doing?!

I am very glad that I finally finished this idea dfghjkderty. Shinsou was the second character that my mind screamed that I NEEDED to put in a cat cafe and kjhgtrertyu I think that one is a litol more funny and fluff than hurt/comfort, like the one with Midoriya, but worry not! In the end of the day one more kid is adopted :D

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Dadzawa and Yamadad and their relatonship can be seen as romantic, if you wish.

* This happens in the same universe as This Fanfic Here and you can also find it on AO3.

* There is passing out due exhaustion, sleep deprivation and cursing, but besides that i don’t think that there are any more warnings. This is more funny and fluff.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing the manga/anime Boku no Hero.

* Something around 2.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Oh!! If you have an idea for another scenario in this universe, hmu! I would love to hear it !!Thankys so much for reading this. Take care! Drink water! Eat well!! Pet a cute animal today!! And please sleep a bit, okie? <3 Byeioo!~

                         [~*~]

Shinsou blinked for what it felt the fifth time on the last minutes, which was probably the same amount a normal human being was supposed to blink but right now it just felt wrong. He rubbed his stinging eyes again, suppressing another yawn, firm on his purpose to concentrate his brain enough on the task of remembering his order, an almost impossible action by the way a growing headache involved his mind since he woke up.

The teenager focused again on the colorful, full of doodles of paws and whiskers menu, wishing for the first time in nearly two months attending the place that the drinks’ names were objective and direct, and not awful cat puns that made his braincells prefer to combust themselves instead of gathering the necessary information to remind him of the beverage he should ask.

 He squinted his eyes, dots appearing in the air. Hm. Definitely not a good sign. Maybe he should order two of the most caffeinated drinks instead of just one? He stared the menu again, frustration flaming on his veins as the words blurred and lost their signification, dancing together with the café’s lights.

 And it was only 7 AM.

Perhaps he should have stayed home, on the safety of his bed and the darkness of his room. He knew he should have cancelled his training.

 And yet, even thinking about that possibility made Hitoshi’s stomach be consumed by anxious tugs and knots, leaving an unpleasant taste of displeasure on his mouth. His trainings were one of the best moments on his entire week. They were events he would catch himself smiling as he thought about a newest move he learned or how his body seemed to recover quicker from the lessons. Or even how good, how right and free he felt on the gym, tired and sore, in the moment that his mentor nodded, proudness flicking in his eyes.

 … How amazing it felt to look at the mirror and see that same feeling reflected on his own gaze.

 He couldn’t deprive himself of that sensation, even if dealing with the painful consequences of his sleep deprivation and probably a lecture if his mentor caught him was the only other options.

 “Just one more. Just one more person and then I can ask for the strongest caffeinated shit here.” Yeah. This time those cups would be enough to make him endure at least his afternoon classes, he repeated to himself in mumbles. Two cups. Two cups and some minutes petting a cat and he would be ready. He would be ready for the world and society and the whole being a functional human being thing. And then he would get on the metro and nap until he gets home where he would have the real opportunity to properly sleep. Almost there. Just two cups. Two. Two cups.

 Gosh, he probably sounded like Midoriya, mumbling non stop like this. A mental image of the energetic teen looking as tired as Shinsou and drinking coffee as if his life depended on it popped on his brain, leading to a sudden urge to giggle manically take over the purple haired boy, and for the way some other customers eyed him warily he possible vocalized that impulse as well, limbs feeling at the same time too much heavy and too much light.

 He was so fucking tired.

 “Next one!” Loud. So loud. Shinsou obligated his body to step closer, opening his eyes enough to realize that dark spots still painted his vision. Huh. When did he close his eyes, again? “Good morning, little customer! How can I help you today?”

 Hitoshi stared at the figure in front of him, senses slow like he was under water, trying to understand the distorted sentences being directed at him, the dots growing and twinkling. Black dots were supposed to be able to do that?

 The world swayed a bit under his feet. He tried to move his lips but they didn’t obey him.

 “Little customer?” The voice sounded worried, and maybe that is what compelled the boy to take a deep breath, putting all his will in forming word after word when a nauseating wave of tiredness hit him, leading his conscience’s grip in reality weaken.

 “I am going to pass out.”

 And then the world got completely black, his senses disappearing together with a background screech.

 Well, fuck.

 […]

 Yamada had seen a lot of crazy, strange things while working at the cat café.

 As example that one shift when an adult of blue hair, strict pose and clear exhaustion dripping in waterfalls from his form was convinced that he was in a library and fiercely tried to return a book to them, doesn’t taking a ‘no’ as answer until the blond was left stupefied with a book of “The Secrets Hidden in The Bottom of The Ocean” on his arms.

 Or that occasion when a boy with a blank expression wearing Victorian clothes and completely surrounded by crows opened their door, looked from a side to another, stared at the deepest parts of Yamada’s soul, analyzing all his dark fears and secrets before slowly blink and say “Wrong store, my apologies” walking back and calmly ignoring the hissing and battle yowling of dozens of cats and crows.

 Or the day a green haired woman with a kind, calm aura just walked behind the counter completely unphazed by Hizashi and Aizawa’s unbelieved looks, made two healthy snacks, patted their cheeks saying ‘You two need to eat more, dears’ and then disappeared as if nothing had happened.

 However, none of those events ever prepared him for the moment which purple eyes would stare his in an unfocused state, not really looking at anything and a wobbly smirk – if he wasn’t accustomed with Shouta’s grin, he would easily call it ‘creepy’ – would paint his customer’s pale face, the silence ringing alarmingly on his ears.

 “Are you okay, little listener? Do you want to sit for a minute? You look extremely tired.”

 As the words came out of his lips, a spell seemed to break, the other’s face getting even paler, smile falling and eyes widening leaded his body to stumble forward instinctively, something on his guts screaming for him to get ready. A few other customers on the line grumbled in impatience, looking at their watch and protesting. Somewhere, in the deep part of his brain, Yamada wondered why those things only happened when Aizawa was out and no procedures for those kinds of situations were previously discussed on their contract.

 “Hey, guy,” a blonde teenager behind the paralyzed one said, tipping forward in an attempt to catch the other’s expression, his kimono following each move, “are you… here with us?”

 “Little listener?”

 A hesitant poke on his cheeks, two pair of eyes warily watching a third.

 His mouth finally moved.

 “I am going to pass out.” His voice was light, stitched together by certain. His legs trembled under his own weight, body collapsing.

 “You WHAT?” A terrified shriek mixed itself between Hizashi’s words, flying across the whole store.

 “Oh, shi-”

 His blonde client didn’t waste a second before holding the other, arms locking under his armpits in a strange kind of hug, knees weakening with the sudden, unexpected effort, the limp teenager not even flinching with the touch, laying there completely motionless.

 Hizashi blinked, gulping, adrenaline exploding on each one of his fibers, color slightly draining from his own face, a piece of his conscience wishing with all its strength for this to be only a dream. When his eyes opened, everything would be the same.

 He blinked, the deafening silence still crushing the room, one set of black eyes staring at him in confusion and growing panic, another set closed, heavy, dark circles under it.

 Right. He didn’t have time for this.

 So, he blinked again, finding himself in front of them both, pushing his feelings under a mask of a calm, an easy reassuring smile already slipping on his face, crouching to get the legs of his customer, catching the gaze the other and winking, “let’s get him on a more comfortable position, right?”

 A determined nod, quick, careful steps as they both laid the purple haired one on a small couch placed under some shelves, having to gently dislodge three sleeping cats, who hissed in irritation. The voice of Nemuri, attending the rest of the line filling the space and being acknowledged in the back of his mind, serving as a firm ground and helping his muscles to relax, even if just a little bit.

 Hizashi stared the young boy in front of him, looking somewhat peaceful, a bit of color having already returned to his face, soft snores coming out from him.

 … Hitoshi. That is his name, right? He wasn’t a new client, always coming at every fifteen days, always by morning and always caffeinated drinks that only Yamada - on his most delirious moments - ever thought in trying, quick to go to play with any feline who appeared in front of him. Although, he never stayed more than ten minutes, the quiets ‘bye’s he gave to the felines never failing to melt Yamada’s weak, bleeding heart.

 A childish voice pulled him right out of his thoughts.

 “Mom, is he dead?”

A snort escaped his lips before he could help it. Kids.

 “Sir?” The teenager shook a small device with a shiny screen in front of him, the logo of a new rock band he hadn’t a chance to listen to yet on the background “I found his phone, I think we should call his emergency contact…?”

 “Of course! Thank you, little helper!” He ruffles his hair, flashing a smile and thumbs up as his finger quickly clicked on the call button, listening, not trying to show his impatience as it ringed.

 “You’re late.” A tired voice answered him, and Hizashi felt his entire body relax completely, right before the surprise shook its frame, too much pieces clicking together in a puzzle he didn’t even know he was solving.

 “SHOU?”

 [~*~]

 “I am sorry.”

 “You will be writing a formal letter apologizing to Hizashi, Nemuri and to me, our classes will be cancelled for this week and, if I notice you didn’t recover properly on this free time, for the next week as well. I am not going to stand by and watch you running yourself to the ground, damaging your potential because you lack of some sense of self preservation, do I make myself clear?” Shinsou tried to not visibly flinch at his sensei’s words. He almost forgot how much intimidating Aizawa could be when totally serious. They stopped by the Cat Café’s door, the black eyes staring at him.

 “Yes, sir.” He answered, lowering his gaze. Shouta sighed, his worry stopping to come out as harsh and necessary words to materialize itself in the form of him patting the boy’s head, messing his hair for a few seconds before opening the door and getting into the establishment.

 “Good. Now come in, Hizashi has been worried and he won’t stop pestering me until he sees with his own eyes how you are.”

 Hitoshi didn’t had time to question how someone that he just met – if you consider passing out in front of him a proper meeting – could be worried about his well-being when, as the door clicked behind him, an excited screech filled the room, forging the realization that maybe that weird high sound before his faint wasn’t just the ring of his ears.

 “SHINSOU!!” And, in a blink of eyes, the blonde was in front of him, hands on his face, turning it from a side to another, up and downwards, “You look so much better with some color on your face! I am glad that you finally took some necessary rest, huh? Your eyeshadows even got lighter, which, phew, is such a relief! For a very terrifying moment there I almost thought you would be as bad as this guy right here.” Yamada locked his arms around Aizawa’s shoulder, using the time to take a breather and smile, gladly giving the younger some time to process the flow of words thrown at him. “You gave us both quite a scare, kiddo.”

 “I am deeply sorry for inconveniencing you and interrupting your work, Yamada-san.” He bowed, a slight embarrassed blush dusting his cheeks.

 “Just please don’t do that again and you will be fine, little customer.” Hizashi then squinted his eyes on his direction as Hioshi brought himself back to his previous position, shoulders tense and straightened back, much different from his previous more slouched pose. Yamada’s eyes got a few inches wider. “You gave him The Talk!” He turned himself to Shouta, his excited sentence, loud enough to probably making his friend deaf, if the black haired adult wasn’t already used with the other’s attics, previously covering his ears before the outburst.

 His response was a grunt, Aizawa dislodging himself from his touch with scoff and half heartedly mumbles, ignoring the confusion on his pupil’s gaze. “Maybe he looks like that because of your total disregarding of personal space.”

 “Don’t worry,” Hizashi put his hand at the side of his mouth, as if he was confiding Shinsou’s a secret. “He only does that because he is worried about you, too. Don’t let yourself to be fooled by his grumpy façade. He is a mother hen at heart.”

 “I am going to lock you outside and give all your CD’s to the kittens a their new toys.” The other threatened, going behind the balcony and turning the coffee machines on, preparing the store to open. The few cats who were already wandering around the place yowled and meowed in despair, as if the blonde hadn’t feed them fifteen minutes ago and they were starving under the hands of such unloving and uncaring creature. Aizawa crouched and distributed the treats hidden on his pockets for everyone of them, nevertheless. His friend used the distraction to mouth a ‘see?’ at the younger’s direction, eliciting a snicker from him, his body language more relaxed.

 “Feel free to do whatever,” Aizawa proclaimed, not staring at the boy, who felt a flower of warmth blossom on his chest. “Just be sure that all your homework is completed by lunch time or the moment you decide to go. Sushi is probably napping now, but when she wakes up, I will warn you.”

 “But first,” Hizashi clapped, capturing the attention as he walked with a dance on his step to the bakeries, taking two plate on his way. “breakfast! For you both. And that means something substantial and not just a cup of coffee.”

 Shinsou startled from the table he decided to place himself, shaking his head. “Yamada-san, it’s okay, you don’t need to-”

 “Nonsense, nonsense! I want to. Eating breakfast alone is just sooo boring, you know?” Hizashi spun on the place, almost throwing the muffins and breads around as Ochaco used his distraction to attack his shoelaces. “Uravity, stop, I need those.”

“Her name isn’t Uravity.” Shouta appeared again, bringing drinks and yawning, his focus changed to the boy’s. “Better give up. I’ve been fighting against him for years now.”

 “Also, her name is Ochaco Uravity Fluffy Second and you just refuse to call her that because you’re just jealous of how much genius I am.”

 “I refuse to call her that because I care for her sanity.”

 “Lies, lies.”

 Hitoshi snorted, hiding his smirk behind his hand. “I prefer his name better, sensei.”

 Aizawa watched them high five between the cheers of the blonde with an unimpressed expression. “Cheeky brat.”

 “You’re just grumpy because he has a good taste. Friendship ended with Shouta, now Shinsou is my new best friend.”

"I am truly devasted." Aizawa deadpanned, taking a long sip of his beverage, hiding his smirk as Shinsou snorted, Yamada's dramatic wailing in the background.

 And, as the playful bickering engulfed them between the warm food and purrs, Hitoshi decided that maybe losing his weekly training wasn’t so bad if that was what waited for him.  

[mikazukikannagisjourney]

Spiritual Log June 5 2019 2.0

The Savior Mentality or Messiah Complex and why this might be proliferating a lot of ideas with regards to salvation, redemption, and allowing psychopaths, abusers, narcissists, and other lacking-in-self-awareness bullies in our lives (and I am very concerned)

I am putting this here because I was triggered. Very triggered. Because apparently mass media has been glorifying dangerous psychopaths (not the OK and harmless ones who are just trying to get by, but those who stop at nothing to get whatever needs they have that are unmet, even if it means killing or hurting a lot of people) and that some people actually believe that such people could still redeem themselves and be good people. Some people actually think that abusers can ALWAYS make a change. That they can do good. Eventually. That they won’t hurt people anymore. That they won’t use people for their own personal gain anymore. That they will see others as humans that deserve respect and won’t treat them like objects anymore. That they will magically say sorry and make things better and let the rainbows and unicorns loose and live happily ever after. And I was like HOLY SHIT THAT CAN GET YOU KILLED. I am scared of the possible implications.

OK, so before I get some flak on putting out my personal opinions on this one, I will make this clear:

I believe that people who did the wrong things can still make amends and turn their lives around, provided that they have a strong sense of self and self-awareness, a good grasp on inter and intrapersonal relationships, and at least a decent amount of empathy. Not sympathy. Empathy.

That such people have done a lot of their inner work, has endured a lot just to change what needed to be changed, has recognized their strengths, flaws, and what needed to be bridged in order to reconcile those two so that they can both feel strong and vulnerable without any issues

Healing has been undertaken by such people under THEIR OWN VOLITION. Because they chose to. Because they KNEW THEY WERE DAMAGED TOO. And they recognize a need to be a BETTER PERSON, because they want to do it without much expectations in return. Meaning: Doing it not to fluff up their ego.

Those who relapsed because they thought they were better but worked even harder to heal and now live a quiet but still an awesome life. Wait, these might be the depressed and anxious but oh well.

Unfortunately, I have seen the other side of this kind of healing a lot of times unraveling, and not to put judgment but uhm, ever heard of someone famous who was once at the top of their game but then fell out of grace and got themselves redeemed and became loved again but then fell out of grace and well, kinda stayed there EVEN AFTER BEING GIVEN A LOT OF CHANCES to heal? But that’s a bit mild, because they might still be wanting to heal and be better, right?

Of course, such people exist. And they try so hard to be better, despite the relapses. I salute such people, and I think they deserve as much love as those who are NORMAL by societal standards. No. This post isn’t about them.

This post is about the really, really unredeemable ones. Those that no matter how much “help” they receive (hint: they KNOW they don’t need any help and that they are FINE), still hurt people, still use people like tools, still see others as money-making machines, still feel so entitled that no matter how many crimes they commit will NEVER, EVER admit that they have faults and just shift blame to others. Yes, such people exist. And I believe that we should just stay away from such people NOT because they deserve to be punished, but because WE must also be open to the idea that we must give up on some people. Because they take away a lot of our energies, our resources, even OUR LOVE. This is time to focus the love INWARDS. To love ourselves MORE than these people who have hurt us.To recognize that maybe, just maybe, WE DESERVE BETTER TREATMENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE. We can walk away from what makes us hurt and frustrated. That sometimes, SOME PEOPLE JUST CANNOT BE HEALED. And that WE SHOULD BE OK WITH THAT.

Unfortunately, most of the stuff I see in mass media makes it seem like ALL CAN BE HEALED. ALL CAN REPENT. ALL CAN REDEEM THEMSELVES. And for that, it makes it OK to be abused, to be hurt, to be used by PEOPLE WHO HAVE ZERO REGARD FOR THE WELL-BEING OF OTHERS, despite the fact that the symptoms are there: that such people only think about themselves. And it sucks to see that movies and series make this an actual thing. This even makes people (those who think they can SAVE others by ALWAYS BELIEVING IN THE GOOD IN OTHERS EVEN IF THOSE INCLUDE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT PEOPLE IN RECORD-BREAKING NUMBERS) have an idea that THEY CAN CHANGE PEOPLE. They can HEAL these “misunderstood” people (even if these people see themselves infallible and see nothing wrong with them). And NO, you can never, ever change a person fully. If they (or you) choose to change for the better, for themselves, then yes, that is a lasting change. Otherwise, they’ll just return to their default selves. Which is why it is better to walk away from chronic liars, the chronic cheaters, people who keep promising that they have changed but deep in your soul YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE.

I am not against giving second chances, but I also believe that IF, after giving the SECOND chance SIMILAR MISTAKES still appear, with seemingly ZERO changes made and things feel like they’re the same shit as before, I hate to break this up to you but NO. This person HAS NOT CHANGED. I had a lot of experiences with such people. No matter what fucks up their lives, they just recuperate, brush off the dirt on their clothes, and DO THE SAME HURTFUL THINGS ALL OVER AGAIN. Yes, they exist. Their charisma makes them appealing to others but if you’re an awakened soul and you could see right through their lies, they will do whatever it takes to cut you out of the picture. Some will even come back stronger, harder, and with a thicker skin than beforre that you’ll suddenly scratch your head and think: Has this person even learned something?

Well, the harsh reality is this. These people NEVER LEARNED what you wanted them to learn. The only thing they learned it HOW TO BE A BETTER ABUSER, LIAR, BULLY, OR WHATEVER THE NEXT TIME AROUND, to succeed. Yes, that is the painful truth. If this is your situation, YOU NEED TO LET THIS PERSON GO. For you. For your sanity. For your safety even. Seriously, some people get hurt, get their lives broken, heck, some even DIE because they didn’t choose to walk away AFTER GIVING a lot of SECOND CHANCES. I hope you are all getting my point here somehow.

So.... What is my point in posting this? Simple: If you know how to love yourself, if you have healed properly and has done all that you can in reconciling your shadow self and true self, and you now know that walking away can sometimes be the best thing you have ever done to improve your life, then your self-awareness of the fact that some people WILL NEVER CHANGE, can prevent you from ever coming back to narcissists, to abusers, to liars, to manipulators, to the unhealable psychopaths. Love yourself enough to walk away. And if you’re still giving so much hope on this person so much, or you are scared of cutting your ties to this person so you’re giving your all in this relationship, please take time to ask yourself the following:

Why am I putting so much out for this person?

Why am I scared to let this person go?

Why am I not giving up on this person?

Do I have to be the one to change this person?

Do I have some unmet needs that only this person can fulfill?

Is my life being enriched by this person,which makes the pain all worthwhile?

Is it all worth it to just be with this person?

Ladies and gentlemen, please, for the love of all there is, nobody is going to punish you for giving up on someone. What you need to know is that YOU WILL SUFFER the consequences of NOT GIVING UP ON SOMEONE IN EXCHANGE FOR GIVING UP ON YOURSELF. Staying in abusive relationships, whether it’s romantic or career or friendships or even families, do not give you power at all, unless you have the upper-hand. But if you have the upper-hand then why are you even reading this? Be honest with yourself. What is it that you really, really want? Or even need?

I want you to be empowered, you deserve the love that brings you true joy and happiness. And I am not just talking about romantic love here. But finding true love that encompassess the self, which makes everything worth it. Which energizes you and makes you look forward to each day. Which makes you feel blessed and blesses other people in return. That is what I want for us all, not just for me, but for you too. So if you feel like life has robbed you of so much just because you did your best in sticking with the person who has hurt you for the longest time but only realized it now, then run forth. Be free. You deserve love.

And above all, YOU DESERVE THE PUREST LOVE YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF. Because if you can’t love yourself that way, how can others love you the way you want them to?

And with that, I wish you all well on your journey through life.

Love and hugs,

Mikazuki

[awesomelephuoclocblog-blog]

MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Review – From A Real User With Special Bonuses

https://lephuocloc.com/mytrafficjacker-review/

MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Review – Introduction

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MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Review – What Is My TrafficJacker?

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MYTRAFFICJACKER 2.0 RATING

Easy TO USE PRICE FEATURES QUALITY SUPPORT BONUSES

Summary

Doesn't just stop with Wikipedia and Youtube, My TrafficJacker (MTJ) will urge you to really take traffic and authority in like manner from bbc and quora. I should express these two new one aren't no progressively expected to battle how inconceivable they are. With four these locales, you will win part commissions in 24 hours or less by picking alive anyway ended associations through, by then use them anyway you see fit.

Up to now, there is none

MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Review – Features And Benefits

The most remarkable bit of leeway you will get to guarantee MTJ is that it is 100% and all the time legal to hold onto regions from every one of the FOUR of these districts and arrangements in inside only a solitary day. Hence, you will have the choice to construct your intriguing traffic and your locales' rankings:

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MyTrafficJacker 2.0 Review – My Experience in Using It?

I used this thing as an analyzer and today I'm going to give you my most this real review and essential direction to use this instrument straightforwardly underneath.

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Understand watchwords or claims to fame that you have to seize

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Go authentically to the investigation section if you have your own catchphrase

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Appropriate with one of 4 destinations

a/Let's go with my model with Quora.

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275 target associations were related to My TrafficJacker that is more than awesome. You can check the availability of all the found associations in the overview, by then if those associations in spite of everything have region masters or page experts which you can take ideal conditions to backlink from these locales as well.

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Snap to the URL and it guided me to the article:

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b/Im going to endeavor this instrument with another enormous site: Forbes

In the wake of having putting aside money as my watchword, clicking make button, My TrafficJacker gave me the result as follow:

As you see, the instrument helped me to find 34 broken associations that will be available gotten. Look underneath the once-over of the associations, for example the chief article, you can see there is no region open, in any case, the mechanical assembly skillfully offers you another limit check space openness which will remind you when the zone will be available. To do thusly, go to movement decision, pick whols like this:

It will show you the nuances of the space with the objective that you can understand when it will be ended. Besides, you can snap to the update picture as I set apart, by which My TrafficJacker will normally remind you when it will get passed for you to buy. At the point when it is available, you will be the essential individual to get it close by.

Another way that has same ability to help you the status to recall spaces you have to get is Domain Reminders. As I referenced, there are amounts of broken associations that have been starting at now disregarded by the owners yet not passed. So Domain Reminders will be an extraordinary one to ring you straightforwardly after the associations are available.

Basically I'll give you how MTJ capacities with BBC. I endeavored it with the contribute catchphrase, the item will take me to the result this way:

So as you see the couple of starting ones are not available at the present time, so basically snap to the open space catch to find which one you can rapidly get now, it will show you the URL as underneath:

To check whether the page authority of the association, simply copy the association given by then paste it to any free space authority checker, for instance, WSO, I did a model for you as follow:

Ensuing stage, copy the URL found from BBC and add it to the checker resource likewise like these two diagrams:

Ensuing to clicking to the check button, the checker resource will give all point by point information about the space authority (DA), page authority(PA) of the associations like this:

So here as found in the scree, the ensuing association is the BBC region with 95 DA and 44 PA, which is amazingly mind blowing that we can get strong backlinks from it. Very significant I should state. Also, we can see the essential interface has 13 DA and 14 DA and it is very worthy to get it. We in general know the huge proportion of traffic BBC asserts so with these associations you can have the choice to guide individuals to your associations, or just offer the associations with make advantage as well.

Furthermore, you moreover can hold onto traffic from youtube with MTJ. Look at the screen underneath, you can see it works with fundamental walks as I portrayed for you above.

Various limits

Well in addition, Subjacker is furthermore a critical redesign of MTJ 2.0 If you have associates or even you don't have the chance to find slipped by spaces using MTJ 2.0, subjacker is surely for you. It grants you

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[anhed-nia]

i’m a bad writer

at the end of my twenties i quit any kind of superstition or “spiritual” practice cold turkey, because, to be brief about it, it was making me delusional. since then, i don’t even allow myself to read newspaper horoscopes, for fear that it will activate my imagination in an unhealthy direction. so, maybe it’s just because i’m in such a desperate situation with my job that i allowed an enthused coworker to do my chart recently. i’ve certainly had my chart read before, and i understand a little bit about how it’s supposed to work, so i wasn’t expecting too much. looking back at my experiences with astrology, it always amounted to the same interchangeable generalizations about personality, combined with bullshit projections about times of growth and times of challenge. somehow, my rando coworker made herself the first person to really surprise me. we were talking about my rising sign of capricorn, and my scorpio moon. i remarked that i always really objected to the capricorn designation, with its suggestion of being extremely competent and hard-working and even parental. it isn’t just that i find all that shamefully boring, but that i don’t think it actually represents me. naturally, i started digressing about how people usually have this perception of me being capable of *anything* because i’m sooooo smart and talented and responsible and everything--when in reality, i’m absolutely not that bright, i’m terminally impractical, and i’m really only hard-working when i’m afraid of getting in trouble or causing problems. the result of this is not just that i often feel like the bar is set too high for me, but that when i fail at something like maintaining my grades or getting an awesome job or something, then it’s seen as me just not trying, or being dramatic or petulant or something. another related issue is that when people aren’t pissed off at me for these supposedly avoidable failures, then they’re making ludicrous “the sun was in my eyes” excuses for everything i do wrong, no matter how consistently i do the same things wrong, so i don’t always get the support i need to acknowledge my real actual problems and find ways to cope. so, i’m droning on about this, when my new astrologer points out that having a capricorn rising with a scorpio moon exactly indicates the frustrating condition of people not identifying the “real you”--and specifically, people thinking you’re like this effective and upstanding citizen when the truth is that you’re kind of a mess. i had never thought about my personality in those exact terms before, i had just been blindly experiencing it, so hearing her describe me that way totally blew my mind.

it’s with this in mind that i felt like writing down the conversation i had with a friend this morning that turned into a full accounting of my life history of being a bad writer. it began with me casually remarking that i’m good at recounting events, but i have no idea how to build a good fictional story, with interesting characters and a cohesive story arc. this is something i think about a lot, because of various kinds of writing i’d like to do that are just always dreary and embarrassing when i try them. but, even though this thought occurs to me a lot, it was only this morning that i suddenly remembered every time that someone told me i was a bad writer, in virtually every school i’ve ever attended. many of these remarks were inspired by the fact that people expect better of me; i got good grades from kindergarten through high school (because i was excellent at rote memorization and terrified of being yelled at), i have a large vocabulary (more rote memorization), and i seemed really bright in comparison to the (rebellious, neglected, acting-dumb-to-fit-in, or actually kinda dumb) kids at my crappy schools. the truth was that i when i was trying to be “creative”, i was usually just laboriously copying some commercial material because i didn’t know what else to do. i wouldn’t draw or write anything with any kind of energy to it until i reached a very narrow moment in my early 20s, and none of that really translated into excelling or progressing in class or work. 

the first time i remember being informed that i was a bad writer was when i was probably about kindergarten age. i had attended this cool library event where little kids got to write and draw their own books, and then the books would be bound for us and everything. i sat down with my materials, and without a thought in my head. i wound up just making a bunch of captioned drawings of some cats doing various disconnected activities. the librarians were coming around to help people, and this very disappointed-seeming woman struggled to explain to me that stories usually have a beginning that introduces you to a situation, then some kind of challenge, then a resolution. i can’t remember if i managed to add a page or two that gave it a little more structure and got her off my back, but the message was pretty clear that i had fucked it up and wasn’t smart enough to understand stories. maybe she was worried that my parents would be disappointed in the library, the way that anxious yearbook photographers occasionally went after me to smile bigger as if i were throwing them under the bus with my shitty face.

the second time it happened, i was in fifth grade or so, and our normal school routine was interrupted for us all to take this writing test. i wish i could think of the name of it, because i’m sure it’s some sort of common institution; it consisted of a series of essays, and i think it’s meant to test your critical thinking and creativity, which most of our curriculum certainly didn’t do. the first assignment was to write about your favorite animal, which really excited me because all i thought about were reptiles at that age, and i had whole encyclopedia passages about them memorized. i happily crammed my essay full of endless minutiae about corn snakes, only to have the teacher make an example out of my bad work. i had to sit there in front of everybody while she told everyone what a crappy job i had done. naturally i can’t quote her exactly, but the general content of her speech was, You students might have thought Claire would do really well on this, because she’s supposedly all smart and creative, but in reality her essay is extremely dry and boring and bad because it’s all facts and nothing else, so actually any one of you can/has done better than her. i had the feeling it was supposed to give the other kids a boost, like “you don’t need to be an A student to do well at this”, but it was pretty horrible for me.

the third time it happened was in junior high somewhere. i think we were reading To Kill a Mockingbird, and we were asked to rewrite a certain scary scene from the perspective of a side character, this kind of big dummy kid. so i wrote this frantic monolog, using all the language that i knew kids like this to use, and i totally failed the assignment because the grammar was really bad and i shifted tenses a few times, and things like that. i didn’t manage to defend myself, but this was a rare time that i really felt robbed; like, do you want me to write the way a kid like this would talk, or not? 

the fourth time it happened was at the beginning of my first year at a fairly prestigious liberal arts college. we all had to take this late summer orientation course that involved discussing a lot of famous essays, and doing some creative writing, to introduce us to what would be expected of us intellectually for the next four years. my thing at that time was that i liked to pile a lot of adjectives together, because i liked the textures, and i liked the way it made ordinary things seem abstract or fantastical. *everyone* hated everything i wrote. in fact, the professor took me aside and gave me this extraordinarily condescending talking-to about how “adjectives are like salt or pepper, they’re nice to add a little bit of flavor to a dish, but you wouldn’t want them to be the whole meal...do you understand?”, with a pained expression. to get out of trouble, i downshifted to my old technique of imitating commercial work, the result of which is too humiliating to even discuss.

later in college i did some ok writing in my art history classes, which some people thought was pretty good. actually, some other people hated it a lot and told me this in no uncertain terms, because what i did was never an art history exercise; i just wrote whatever i felt or thought about the subject at the time. during my B- thesis review, one professor said generously that “if (your paper) is a failure, then it’s a grand failure”, while another one refused to even look at me, and spent the whole event with his arms folded rigidly, glowering disgustedly at the wall. it still feels miraculous that i ever got out of college with a degree, and for a while it seemed like that was never going to happen due to my hopelessness and general dysfunctionality.

definitely the best writing i’ve ever done is here on tumblr. there are two ways i know it’s some form of “good”: people tell me that they like it or that it makes sense to them, and i enjoy doing it. i think i was set up for this in some way by my deviant, misguided art history career, from which i really just learned a greater ability to express my subjectivity. sometimes i think it would be fun to do something bigger with it, like put together a print book with some illustrations, but i don't totally know what the payoff would be. i just know that as of the last few years, i finally figured out an activity that i can do just well enough that it’s fun for me. now if only i could get out of the eternal snare of people’s embarrassing expectations. a few years ago i idiotically expressed my career woes to my grandmother--an exceedingly shrewd woman with some worldly understanding who did nothing but excel professionally and financially for her entire pre-retired life--and she said to me, in an infantilizing tone, “why don’t you just become a writer?” as if my brother and father and stepmother didn’t all commit themselves to a long and serious academic career, in combination with great personal exertion and hustling in order to get published, as if people don’t write their whole lives only to die in obscurity with day jobs they hate, as if i could just quit my current gig and become a paid writer overnight by dint of choice, as if she’d ever read anything i’ve written, as if i don’t have to choose between being an astronaut and being the president when i can just decide to become the queen of the moon. maybe my family really does know how stupid i am, and i’ve just been too dumb to figure it out.

[hallieh68-blog]

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[ltjlily17]

Oh my love, don’t you worry.

What song can you relate to the most? None? All of them? I can’t say theres like one at the moment that I’m really FEELING, but it does happen. Sometimes, you hear the right song at the right time, and it’s like, your LIFE. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Hmmm. I don’t know? I’ve never experienced anything outside of the normal human condition- heartbreak, actual bones breaks, you know. That stuff sucks. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? There’s no one thing. Nature, perfect times in the city, the wind blowing in the trees- just new beautiful moments that keep on coming. Do you have a secret crush? Nope. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Someone left a note in my desk in 4th grade that said “You’re Awesome” in like drippy block letters and I never found out who it was. Some say they still think I’m awesome to this day. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? No Diary. What is your escape from your problems? Um, waiting too long to make a decision on something that it decides itself? Sooo lazy. What do you want to name your children? I really like the name Samara. Like the murderous child from The Ring that crawls out of the well. My husband doesn’t know thats where that name comes from. Don’t tell him. Do you watch youtube videos a lot? No. I purposely don’t watch any youtube videos. I just don’t like watching videos, just write an article and let me read it for heaven’s sakes. This is really where I feel a generational divide most in my life- youtube didn’t exist until after I graduated high school, and I just never adopted it into my life. Do you feel all alone in the world? Nah. What year do you want to re-live again? None. That sounds tedious AF. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? Oh man. I blurt out  the stupidest shit when I’m anxious. All 34,968 things I’ve said inapropriately count as one collective stupidest thing, lol. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would you ever post all your secrets on the internet? Nope. I don’t really post much of anything on the internet, save for this right now.  Do you have any secrets? None that would be of any interest to anyone, most likely. No soap opera level reveals here, sorry. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? Ha ha, no.  Is your life at risk? Not that I am aware of? Do you feel safe in your hometown? Sure. I live like 2 blocks from the police station. I’ve always felt comfortable walking here alone at night. Even after the mass shooting downtown this summer, I think I’d still feel relatively comfortable even there, if not just cognizant of what had occurred. Where do you dream of moving to? Everywhere, all the time. Seattle, New York, somewhere in the Caribbean, a beach house somewhere on the east coast... I’m honestly not sure we will leave our hometown area at this point, though. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? The ocean is scarier. Do you ever hear from God? Ha ha, no. Does God speak to you often? Must’ve lost my number. What day of the week were you born on? * I think I was born on a Tuesday, near midnight

^Same. A Tuesday at 11:47 pm.

Do you have a piggy bank? There is one in my house. I don’t ever use cash, though, so theres probably nothing in it. Who do you hate?  No one. Did you choose your sexuality? I didn’t chose the thug life, it chose me. …Do you feel you could have chosen a different one? I really don’t think thats a thing. What does your middle name rhyme with? Nothing? Barry? What middle name would you pair with Eliana? Nothing, I don’t like that name lol Would you ever name a child after yourself? Definitely not. It’s like how I feel about cars- you only get so many in your life, why would you buy the same one twice? Do you want to be famous? Probably not? I think everyone has some type of fantasy about being famous, but I have no idea what one such as myself would ever be famous for?  Are you an alien? Sure Have you ever had an alien from outer space land in your backyard? Nope. Have you ever seen a UFO? No. My friend and I saw the same thing once and she thought it was a UFO and I thought it was some type of meteor. I’m just not a believer. What’s your favorite type of moon? Um, the Earth’s? Do you make wishes on the moon? No, but sometimes I tell him he’s pretty. …or the stars? dandelions? What do you make wishes on? I used to wish on the stars. Not like shooting ones, even, just regular ones. Didn’t seem to work, they’ve probably got some important star stuff to do. Are you superstitious at all? No. Again, I really don’t believe in things, lol. Has anyone ever beaten the life out of you? Figuratively, yes. Literally, no. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? My husband kind of does? What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? Ha ha, no idea.  Do you get offended a lot? …why? No. I don’t really ever get offended. What color are your cargo pants? I have no cargo pants. Cargo pantsless. What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? I’m proud to say that all the weight I’ve gained has been from delicious food.  Do you name inanimate objects? I do, occasionally. What do you throw across the room when you’re mad? No. Sometimes I want to, but then if I did, I’d have to go pick it up and I am very lazy. How many subscribers do you have on your youtube channel? Zed. Do you believe in fairies? Nope. …in unicorns? Nyet. …in dragons? Again, I believe in very little.

What do you think the constellations mean? Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Once. I got hit by a wave that broke behind the breakers and it slammed me into the ocean floor when I was 7. I was a good swimmer, but I was so disoriented, I was just swimming straight into the sand over and over again. Luckily, my dad saw me and was able to pull me out. Do you eat a lot of crackers? I can eat no crackers. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? It was in a gym, so typical, but not exciting in any way. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hailey, I guess? Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? The last two are just made up. Are you mad at someone? Nope. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I think it’s still in my possession? Do you have a professional camera? My camera is technically a “prosumer” camera, but jokes on you, I shoot weddings on it and people pay me anyway. What would you change about your hair? I kinda want to change the color, but the current color is so dark and the pastel I’d like would be really challenging. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Maybe 3 months ago I just gave up the fight and dyed my hair teal like I wanted to, adulthood be damned. Now I don’t have a job, so maybe not the best decision? Do you like rose gold? Yes, I prefer it, I think. Do you pull all-nighters? Nah, I think I’ve outgrown the desire or ability for that.

[theextraspoon]

My experiences with with CBD and tattoos

Tattoos hurt, plain and simple. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a dirty liar and trying way too hard to be cool. I have a lot of tattoos, and although different places on the body come with wildly different levels of pain when it comes to tattooing, every single one of mine hurt. Especially my hands. Seriously, that was an experience.

Truth be told, I almost sort of “like” the pain that comes with tattooing. I know that might sound crazy, but I find it almost meditative in a way. Something happens an hour or two into a long tattoo session where I begin to relate to pain differently. I stop looking at it as an enemy I have to fight and instead give in to the pain and see it as just another bodily experience, a sensation that isn’t as scary and negative as I once thought. It’s like I’m able to take a step back from my experiences and view them objectively, rather than being under the direct subjective influence of those experiences.

But I’m weird, and most people, very understandably, are afraid of the pain that comes with tattoos.

Recently, my fiancee and I went in to get some work done and thought we might see if CBD could be used to make the tattoo experience a little bit better. Spoiler alert: we actually had some pretty awesome results. Read on!

Preparing for a tattoo with CBD

You know that a lot of factors go into creating the sensation we experience as pain. Pain is super weird, and our brains take a lot of things into account when it makes us experience pain. Take this video of the rubber hand illusion as an example of one way our sensory perceptions are way weirder than you think.

The point is, there is a lot more than just the actual stimulus itself that goes into us feeling pain, and the way you feel going into a tattoo can dramatically impact how you handle the experience. This is why many tattoo artists and studios recommend that you get a good, full night’s sleep the night before a tattoo, and that you are well hydrated and comfortable. They know that the more relaxed and the less stressed you are, the easier time you are going to have with your tattoo.

Even though I’m a freak who sort of enjoys the tattoo experience, I’m not naive, and I still get a little nervous going in. The meditative nature of being tattooed is valuable, but you have to go through a lot of pain to achieve it, and that isn’t a lot of fun. My fiancee Melissa is the same way, and we both tend to get pretty tense as we walk up to the door of our tattoo studio.

This is where our experiment began. We decided that Melissa would take CBD before the tattooing began, and I would focus more on taking it after. Very scientific, I know.

CBD can help you relax before your tattoo

Thirty minutes before our appointment, Melissa ate four-fifths of a Grön CBD dark chocolate bar , totaling about 80mg of CBD. This would be a pretty big dose for most people, but she has a lot of experience with CBD and REALLY wanted to try and dull the pain.

Signing in, prepping and applying the stencil of the design, and setting up the tattoo station took a little while, so it probably wasn’t an hour to an hour and a half until the tattooing actually began.

Already, Melissa noticed a difference. “This is the most calm I have ever been going into a tattoo,” she said. “Usually I’m stressed out while I’m waiting to start, but I almost feel like I could take a nap right now if I wanted to. This is way better than I normally am.”

It makes sense. CBD has known anti-anxiety properties, and I have heard plenty of reports from people that CBD just helps them relax. If the thought of getting a tattoo makes you anxious, then it might be worth giving CBD a shot. And if what we know about pain is correct, being more relaxed might also make that tattoo hurt a little less.

CBD can help with the pain while getting tattooed

Now, I have been with Melissa while she got a few of her tattoos, and I can tell you that I noticed a pretty remarkable difference. Normally, she would be silent, eye’s clenched, with her face pressed into the chair. This time, however, she was much more talkative and looked far less pained by the whole experience.

In fact, she told me that this was the best tattooing experience she has ever had! Earlier, on the drive out to the studio, Melissa was telling me she might actually stop getting tattoos because the pain was starting to outweigh the joy she received from the artwork. Tattoos get more painful for some people as they get older, and that has been the case for her.

However, afterwords she was all smiles, saying that with CBD she feels like she would have no problem getting more. It was quite the change!

My turn…

Once Melissa was done, it was my turn to step up to the chair. My plan was to take CBD after the tattoo, so I didn’t have the same calming benefits that Melissa had going in. However, once the tattooing began, I saw that my tattoo artist Dan Smith actually uses a CBD cream during the tattoo process. According to Dan, the CBD cream helps “calm down the skin” and generally makes the tattoo process easier.

I’m not sure if the cream helped too much with the pain, but I can say my skin was far less inflamed than it usually is after a tattoo. I have a tendency to swell up quite a bit, but this time my was skin was noticeably less puffy and not as warm to the touch as it normally would be.

Once my tattoo was done, I ate a few pieces of our CBD chocolate, and it did actually seem to help with that lingering, post tattoo pain that generally sticks around for a few hours. About thirty minutes after eating the chocolate, I was chatting with my fiancee on the drive home and almost forgot about the tattoo I had just received.

I can definitely say that CBD made our tattoo experience much better. If you are at all worried about pain, or if tattoos make you anxious, then definitely give CBD a try.

CBD for tattoo aftercare

Anyone who has tattoos will tell you that the pain and discomfort doesn’t stop once the tattoo gun shuts down. The healing process can take up to 3 or 4 weeks in some cases, and that time period can be filled with a lot of discomfort. Not only that, but how you care for your tattoo in the first few weeks will directly impact how that tattoo looks in the long run, and no one wants to sit through all that pain just to have a tattoo that looks off.

CBD creams and balms can fight inflammation in the skin. Well, I don’t know of anything that would inflame your skin more than shoving a dozen needles into it two thousand times per minute.

With that in mind, Melissa and I both set out to use CBD Tattoo Balm in our tattoo aftercare. Multiple times a day, we would take a small amount of the CBD Tattoo Balm and carefully spread it over our tattoos. Keeping your new tattoo hydrated is super important, so why not add a little CBD while you are at it?

Well, I’m not sure if it was the CBD aftercare, or the CBD used during the actual tattooing, but both of our tattoos healed much faster and much better than normal. I’m an avid triathlete, and my tattoo healed so well that I was able to get back to running and biking within two days of getting my tattoo (it is fairly large and located on my upper leg), and I was able to get back in the pool after just under two weeks. I’m actually pretty sure I could have swam even earlier, but I wanted to be extra careful, as swimming pools and lakes can really be bad for tattoos that aren’t completely healed.

Melissa had a similar experience, and said her tattoo, which was on her back, healed much faster than she was accustomed to as well. I would definitely recommend giving CBD a try for your tattoo aftercare.

Final thoughts

All in all, I was VERY impressed with how CBD helped the entire tattooing adventure from beginning to end. CBD helped relieve the pre-tattoo jitters, it made getting the tattoo itself far more comfortable and way less painful, and it really did seem to speed up tattoo healing time.

But I want to hear from you! Have you tried using CBD for any part of the tattoo process? What were your results? Everyone is different, so it’s likely CBD won’t make everyone’s tattoo experience better, but for me, I’ll be using it before every tattoo from now on.

via Natural Healthy: Latest News

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Political News Is Bad for People, Specifically Parents

Every generation has the memory of a momentous or catastrophic event that played out on the news when they were children. The moon landing. The Kennedy assassination. The events of 9/11. The experience of seeing stories develop in real time on a mass scale makes them totemic events in the lives of children. It also makes them totemic events in the lives of parents who must navigate their own fears while helping their children understand and process what flashes before them on screen. In our modern media era where political news dominates, adults and parents are affected in a particularly harmful way.

Plenty has been said about the benefits of shutting off the constant barrage of information and wheel-spinning that comes from the 24-hour news cycle. One of my favorite explanations came from author Yuval Noah Harari. In a conversation with GQ, he said “I rarely follow the kind of day-to-day news cycle. I tend to read long books about subjects that interest me. So instead of reading 100 short stories about the Chinese economy, I prefer to take one long book about the Chinese economy and read it from cover-to-cover.” It’s a practice Harari himself acknowledges leaves gaps in his understanding of the day’s headlines, but it ultimately gives him more calm and focus to specialize.

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The negative effect of the news cycle on you and your family is twofold. First, you’re not actually getting the quality of information you’d expect from the quantity of news you’re consuming.

“Perhaps the biggest problem with the 24-hour news cycle is that few stories are given the depth of coverage needed for the audience to understand the significance of an event, the background behind the story, how the story fits into a historical context, and doesn’t provide an objective and balanced view of the different perspectives behind the story,” says Andrew Selepak, a professor in the department of telecommunication at the University of Florida. “While it seems counterintuitive, in our current 24-hour news cycle of cable networks and social media news, we now know less about what is going on in the world than ever before.”

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But the more pressing problem this poses to childcare is in the developing mind of your child. Elesa Zehndorfer, author of the upcoming book Evolution, Charisma & Politics: Why Populists Win, notes that “the 24/7 news cycle is particularly vicious for youngsters as the immaturity of their (impulse controlling) prefrontal cortex… makes them especially vulnerable to tech overuse and addiction, stress and anxiety.”

So, the news is not great for children. However, adults, particularly parents, are equally at risk for some of these downsides. Studies have found that both children and adults who are exposed to constant news and upsetting images can exhibit signs of PTSD from the overexposure.

“Becoming addicted to constant clickbait news headlines wears out dopamine receptor pathways,” says Zehndorfer, who adds that it “overexposes us to the stress hormone cortisol and poses a major danger to overall emotional health.” The influence of social media is particularly dangerous, Zehndorfer notes, due to the “roulette wheel” effect of not quite knowing the next image you’ll see, and yet feeling compelled to see what it is, no matter how disturbing or anxiety-provoking it might be. “The uncertainty ramps up cortisol and often the brain processes that image as if it is actually happening before it,” says Zehndorfer.

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These addictive qualities may partially be due to the ‘natural negativity bias’ that leads our brain to pay more attention to threatening stimuli in order to keep itself safe. But in effect, adults may find that consuming large amounts of news as a way to stay informed will see them less able to distinguish between elements of the news and elements of their own lives.

“Viewing negative news means that you’re likely to see your own personal worries as more threatening and severe,” psychologist Dr. Graham Davey told the Huffington Post. “And when you do start worrying about them, you’re more likely to find your worry difficult to control and more distressing than it would normally be.” Distressing images will register in our brains as actual threatening stimuli, as Zehndorfer says, even though we intellectually understand them to be simply a visual representation. Stress, anxiety and depression can quickly follow, along with their requisite physical manifestations. For people who are already stressed about the futures of their kids, this does no one any good.

It’s worth noting that there’s a separate psychological reality that inextricably ties the news’ effect on you to its effect on your child. Dr. Jennifer L. Hudson of Macquarie University cites bodies of research that demonstrate how parents model anxiety for their children.

“The degree to which a parent behaves in an anxious manner by either showing fearful or avoidant behaviors or by communicating threat to the child has been shown empirically, in a number of experimental studies, to impact on subsequent child emotion and behavior,” she says.

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The result is somewhat of a feedback loop. You care about your kids and want them to be both informed and safe. However, as your perception of the news becomes clouded, you may find it harder to accurately communicate the state of things to your child, and may find you have trouble answering those difficult questions kids will ask about the world, which can’t help but to add to the existing stress of parenting and your honest desire to parent well.

What’s more, the process of parenting requires a healthy amount of long-term planning, and while grim, fatalistic news throws everyone into a bit of an existential mess when they consider what their futures might bring, parents know that they’re not the only ones they’re responsible for. The stress of considering all sides of this can understandably make it hard to plan the contents of that day’s lunchbox, not to mention college, etc. You want to have all the answers for your kids, and you want to base your parenting around your confidence in the answers you have. The state of the 24-hour news cycle is bound to undermine that instinct, and make your job as a parent twice as difficult.

So what’s to be done here? I certainly don’t mean to pig-pile on the bad news, suggesting that just because the forces that govern our reaction to the news are stronger and more complicated than one would assume, it’s a necessarily hopeless situation.

However, there are plenty of ways to remove yourself and your children from the influence of the 24-hour news cycle. It’s just a matter, per the experts, of leaning away from a powerful contemporary current. And the answers are likely exactly what you think.

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“Switch off social media,” suggests Zehndorfer. “Then identify a news source that has a bit of a filter — a high quality newspaper that you carve out time to enjoy with a coffee, for example, slowing down and upping the quality of the news experience.”

Selepak concurs, also stressing, again, the importance in upping the reliability of the news-source you’re using, staying away from those who use conjecture and loose-ends to keep you tuning in.

“We have a choice and can decide if we wish to be informed or not,” he says. “But we can only do so when we go beyond the 24-hour news networks and seek out the news by real journalists who understand the awesome responsibility of their position.”

Reputable journalism gains nothing by stressing you out, and will necessarily avoid the sensationalism that will get a child hooked on something they don’t understand. You can’t solve all the world’s many problems for your child, but you can create and environment for your entire family — yourself included — that puts everyone back in the driver’s seat when it comes to how the news affects our emotions, and how it affects your ability to be a family in turn.

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Source: https://bloghyped.com/political-news-is-bad-for-people-specifically-parents/

[santoshechofeel-blog]

What Is The Best Strategy To Increase Views and Revenue for Hotel? Check the Best hotel by offers.

What is the best lodging methodology to expand inheritance and income? How might we separate ourselves to contend with other huge lodging contenders?

When I opened my first Boutique Hotel I didn't have any related knowledge in the inn business. The main experience I had with inns originated from being a visitor in lodgings myself. I didn't contemplate friendliness administration not one or the other. So what did I do to take care of business? I reached an advisor and approached him for help. The expert needed to charge more than $10K for just three months, thus I chose to do all the advertising without anyone else's input.

Here is the manner by which I began:

I reached the Online Travel Agencies - HRS, Booking and Expedia. I put all the data about my lodging together: pictures, offices, enhancements, the inn's area, open transportation, separations to particular attractions from the inn, ordinary costs and exchange passages costs. I finished every obligatory OTA preparing and concluded the agreements. When my lodging was accessible on the OTAs I instantly got reservations. That was really astonishing. Hence, I need to accentuate to hoteliers/loft proprietors, that it is important to be bookable on the fundamental OTAs on the net. I should concede that without being on these specified OTAs my group and I would not have filled in the same number of visitors as we have in the most recent years. When you connect with your visitors, it relies upon you on the off chance that you can pick up them as customary visitors or not. That needs to do with giving the best administration you can envision. Your objective ought to be to influence visitors to recall you for your administration, quality, benevolence, home-feeling, uniqueness and mindfulness. Ensure that your visitors leave your lodging fulfilled. Likewise, I am utilizing an independent "Visitor Come Back Card" as a Honors/Point program. At Check-Out, I am giving visitors a GCBC. On the off chance that a visitor has gone to us ten distinct circumstances, they get some rebate on their next remain. The "GCBC" is a practical other option to a costly "Point-Program." This GCBC is only an illustration; you can give one free night as a blessing also. At Check-Out, we solicit visitors, most from the time, if an extra reservation is required. This system prompts numerous rehashing reservations. While you are making this inquiry, it is a decent strategy to say the upsides of booking at the exact second. (bring down cost than on OTAs, rooms accessibility, room-decision, and so on.) If you see that some of your general visitors are not returning, at that point call them and ask them for what valid reason. It is significant that you discover what happened; with the goal that you can promptly kill any issues. Disclose to them that you need to offer them the best administration they can discover in your town and that you are anxious to roll out an improvement for good. Try not to beseech them to return, however demonstrate to them that you give it a second thought and that you would love to see them once more. Another methodology we jump at the chance to utilize, is to contact organizations that are close by. Numerous organizations near us have consistent workshops or occasions. Once in a while, a few organizations are simply not mindful that an inn is close them. Because of that reality, you have to stand out enough to be noticed. One basic answer that you for the most part find to the topic of this post is: Apply to more OTAs and your inhabitance will increment consequently. All things considered, I don't concur with this answer. Two or three months prior, I connected to an extra OTA and following a couple of days my lodging has been accessible on the stage. Over a few months I got 8 to 10 appointments through this channel. Accordingly, adding new OTAs to your current OTAs isn't generally the answer for more reservations. Obviously, being on different OTA stages has points of interest, and it certainly builds your perceivability. Having high perceivability is vital to your prosperity. All things considered, have as a primary concern that being on numerous OTAs implies that you have to contribute more opportunity to keep up your extranets.

Having a channel supervisor is another approach to help your inhabitance. In the primary week my inn opened I didn't have a direct director set up. That was distressing. I needed to physically square rooms on different OTAs, in light of the fact that when I got a reservation, suppose from HRS; at that point, Booking. com and Expedia did not think about it; thus I needed to sign into the extranet of these two OTAs and piece the room. As you can envision, that is a great deal of work and you must be quick also. On the off chance that you don't obstruct the rooms immediately, you may have an overbooking after a timeframe. I prescribe each single individual who is accessible on different OTAs to utilize a channel administrator. Utilizing the correct channel administrator kills a ton of stress. I can totally promise you that!

Consideration: Do not radically diminish your room costs; envisioning that you will get many reservations and dependably be completely reserved starting with one day then onto the next. Most importantly, on the off chance that you cherish your convenience and you need your visitors to regard your offices and deal with them also, at that point be watchful how low you set your costs. As far as I can tell, the more I brought down my costs the outsider my visitors were. When I offered low costs for two weeks, I had six extremely abnormal visitors in my inn. They were so odd to every other visitor, that I needed to approach them and disclose to them our home standards. Presently I comprehend what my rooms are worth and I won't offer them under that sum any longer. You don't have to offer low costs to build your income. Plus, numerous visitors will relate the cost per live with the nature of the settlement. That is another reality that you ought to have in the back of your psyche.

Presently how about we increment income.

The first inquiry of this post was: What is the best system to build income?

To answer this inquiry, you above all else need to comprehend what you're offering. In this way, on the off chance that you are wanting to expand your income, begin making a rundown of all things that you are offering in and around your convenience. For example, I am offering: a room for each night, smaller than expected bar things, the alternative to registration early and registration late, additional beds, and a van benefit (once in a while). I could offer breakfast, Wi-Fi and stopping (however they are incorporated into the cost).

When you have your rundown convenient, go to the subsequent stage: investigate every thing and ask yourself "What do I need to do to expand the cost or offer a greater amount of this thing?" When I take a gander at my thing "room" and the quantity of offers in seven days, I am really fulfilled and sure that gradually yet without a doubt I will acquire and more normal visitors. Though, the cost of this thing still has sufficient opportunity to get better. All things considered, in the event that I increment my room-costs by 10€-15€, my normal visitors will ask me for what good reason I did that. I may even lose some of my customary visitors. I would prefer not to go out on a limb thus I ask myself what I need to do to build the cost of my room and roll out my visitors acknowledge improvement in cost. All things considered, to expand the cost of this thing, I have to build its esteem. Along these lines, I am will put a couple of flip-tumbles, a shower robe, a blanket and a cell phone cleaning cushion in their room. Presently my consistent visitors will understand my cost increment and even appreciate the overhaul.

Next, I take a gander at my smaller than normal bar. I offer 14 smaller than usual bar things. Consistently I have to refill a few smaller than usual bars because of the direct costs and choice of things that I offer my visitors. The smaller than usual bar can be viewed as a money dairy animals. Here you can do part of attempt and mistake. Truth be told, I recommend to offer another thing like clockwork.

The following things on my rundown are early Check-In, late Check-Out and carry benefit. Right now, I don't publicize these things anyplace, yet when a visitor is requesting them I endeavor to make them accessible and charge for it. I can't ensure that these things are constantly accessible; that is the reason I don't say them all over. In the event that you can promise some of these things to your visitors, at that point showcase them on your site and on your booking catch. As to a Corporate-Hotel, there is dependably a requirement for early Check-Ins!

An additional bed is a decent thing to offer also. You generally ought to have an additional bed to save. This thing is an easy decision.

I am utilizing my free parking garage, free Wi-Fi and included breakfast as magnets to pull in new visitors. It is extremely hard to get a parking spot in the city for nothing out of pocket. By offering my parking garage as an esteem added to my rooms, my lodging turns out to be more appealing to potential visitors. As I would like to think, Wi-Fi ought to dependably be gratis. These days, it just has a place with the standard administration. Offering free Wi-Fi expands your engaging quality too.

On the off chance that you are putting forth an awesome breakfast in which visitors can discover everything that they are searching for, at that point you should charge for it. Charging for breakfast expands income. It isn't irregular to charge €10-20 for a culinary enjoyment breakfast.

Sadly, I don't have enough space to set up various features; else, I would fill these grandstands with cowhide wallets, belts, umbrellas, connectors for electric gadgets, keepsakes, gift vouchers and self-marked desserts. I have been requested these things several times thus I know there is a requirement for them. In the event that you have enough space, you should consider setting up no less than one exhibit to increase some understanding.

Offering packaged items is another approach to expand income. Individuals love to find out about unique arrangements and marked down things. On the off chance that you consolidate diverse things together, put an appealing sticker price on them and make shortage through number of things accessible or time affectability (accessible until), you will make more deals. Take a gander at all the things on your rundown and begin joining them. I am certain your will think of some intriguing offers.

The last inquiry of the posts title is: How would we be able to separate ourselves to contend with other huge inn contenders?

The majority of my huge lodging rivals/chains have a larger number of rooms than I do. Subsequently, they most likely gain increasingly and have more cash accessible to spend on offices, new contraptions and favor plan. They can inspire their visitors with: helpful instruments in the rooms, an immense hurl 

If you are struggling to receive great online reviews for your accommodation business then I suggest to download eBook "10 Simple Steps TO RECEIVE GREAT ONLINE RATINGS!" on the following page: jacarandahotels.com/ .In addition, you will learn how to increase your direct bookings as soon as you unlock your free tutorial.

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[diegotaylor443995]

Is roofing Any Good? 15 Ways You Can Be Certain.

After you might have made positive that everything is sq., you might then draw a line that will serve as your information once you lay down the first few metal shingles. However earlier than you begin laying them down, you will need to take a few minutes to familiarize your self with the directions contained in the installation information for metal roofing that is provided by the producer. Understanding how to install metal roofing over asphalt shingles is significant particularly for the interlocked roofing techniques. These shingles have mechanisms for interlock on four sides and there are particular instructions to follow when installing them yourself. If it is your first time to install a roof, you could need to ask for some suggestions from contractors and different professionals. Don't forget to ask them about security points, comparable to the truth that metallic roofing is dangerous to stroll on because it is slippery, especially when it's wet. It is usually important to remember that making modifications to metal roofing is tougher than for other supplies. Thus, it is very important do it appropriately once you install it.

Different roofing systems are cheaper because the supplies don't provide the identical help and protection. With one of these roofs, you're free to focus your mind on different aspects of the house. With shingles and tiles, it is rather simple for weather harm to trigger issues that should be fixed. For people who should not interested in having to keep up and restore their roofing on a yearly basis, metallic is the solution to go. The price of steel roofing will depend on a few different things. Various kinds of roofing price greater than others, and like all products obtainable in the marketplace, there are levels of quality. The higher the standard, the more expensive it could possibly get. For instance, a lot of roofing material, nails, screws, and different international objects will end up in your lawn during the roofing process. It is crucial to rent a roofing company that will go away your yard in pristine condition. While many firms say this, it is very important get it in writing. On the subject of hiring the right roofer, the choice is as much as you. You will need to hire a roofing contractor that you're snug working with, and somebody that has the expertise and skills to give you an awesome roof that can last for years and years to come. Ultimately, it comes right down to marrying these three ideas: quality, trust, and worth. If you find a contractor that does that, you may have a winner! They're designed in such a manner that your buildings can resist the exposure of fire for about an hour. The standardized system is developed for evaluating the performance of supplies used for constructing throughout intense publicity of fire. One of these rating can be applied to walls, floors and roofs. The foam-insulated panels are blocks of foam insulation that is inserted between two facings. These panels inhibit energy loss in summers and makes environment power efficient. Incessantly individuals stress concerning the coverage provided that it begins leaking or displaying indicators of placed on. Leakages are normally averted altogether when you ever adhere to set standards and rules though constructing the coverage from the beginning. Roofing business follows certain norms put forth by way of the Nationwide Roofing firms Association or even the NCRA. NCRA is anxious maintaining the vehicle protected tips, advisories for dwelling homeowners and contractors and roofing solutions. ALLTRADE have over 30 years of experience which allows them to handle customers starting from all fields of industry and countries. Subsequently, with the helpful data available, the company is ready to supply elements underneath their Aims Forklift Truck elements. Aims Forklife parts must go through certain test for his or her quality and lastingness approval earlier than they are transported to the fingers of shoppers. Each customer of theirs do not must bother about parts for forklift and have their each day business operation run easily.

Secure and waterproof seal

In the correct, stowed place: The anchor is residence

900mm x 900mm (2)

Do they require a deposit upfront

Roofing Contractor vs Roofer vs Roofing Company: Is There a Difference

We only use the most effective materials

Ground Fans

Clear (21)

Roofing contractors could be a peculiar bunch. Removing an previous roof and installing new roofing is a dirty, labor-intensive job for sure. Regional Issues. Roof repairs London The strategies of putting in a roof within the Northeast U.S. Southern California, for instance. Expect different roofing systems and installation procedures, depending on the particular region. Additionally, be absolutely sure to work with a roofing firm that meets all local licensing, code, and insurance coverage necessities. Kind Of Roof. There are actually a whole bunch of different types of roofing supplies that can be utilized. It would be best to just be sure you select a roofing company that states they've at least a labor guarantee on the new roof. That will mean if the brand new roof falls apart earlier than a sure time, the roofing contractors will come back out and do it over free of charge. Generally they'll make you pay for materials if it is simply on labor. Typically they'll cowl all of it. When the manufacturing supplies or structures grow to be more resistant to hearth, it known as fireproofing. On receiving unsatisfactory rates, a contractor of the constructing can install sprinklers within the ceiling. It has been seen that the majority buildings want fire rating of one or two hours. The fireplace rated panels might be constructed in a short interval. The block walls want assist attributable to weight, however the firewalls doesn’t need so.

Roofing estimates are needed to give you an thought on the amount of money that is needed to repair your roof or replace it when it's broken. Everyone knows that roof damages and put on are inevitable, and at a sure point, you'll must have it repaired. The problem could get worse if you don't find resolution instantly. A worsened roofing downside could trigger you to spend more than the quantity that you've ready. Any homeowner who's been by way of the problem and expense of changing a roof knows simply how attractive this benefit is. It may possibly save homeowners money in the long run. Though it usually costs extra up entrance, the long-time period financial savings are important. Not only do homeowners not have to worry about roofing repairs and replacements, like they do with traditional asphalt shingles, but their electricity payments will also be impacted. It's energy efficient. If you beloved this article therefore you would like to get more info pertaining to gutters london (they said skywaysroofing.co.uk) i implore you to visit our web-site.

[lunamysteria-blog]

photographer peter lik

fotograf "That's an excellent photo, you need to have an exceptionally good camera!" Such will be the thought of most who don't truly know everything about a taking photos. It's approximately the same logic as expressing "which was an awesome dish, you will need a nice cooker!" After you have been a digital photographer for years (as well as trying to sell picture taking products for a long time) I've heard this affirmation very often. When I was trying to sell, clients would constantly appear to me and say comparable claims. The main one I probably read by far the most was "My buddy Tom includes a [place video camera brand right here] high-end camera and then he will get excellent pics so I would like to purchase the same 1. Nearly without having are unsuccessful the same explained purchaser would come lower back several weeks afterwards whining because "some thing need to be improper together with the digital camera you distributed me because the images aren't as great as Tom's." I would generally answer with "may possibly I see your digicam?" and would then inquire if they minded when i required several pictures. I might put the digital camera either in aperture top priority method or manual, adapt the options according to the take pictures of which i needed to develop, touch the shutter button, then display the customer the photo. They would generally followup with something like "Seriously, that looks good, the reason my images don't look that very good?" Which I would personally commence the lengthy conversation on how I take advantage of a digital camera to be a instrument to make the looks I want instead of simply being determined by a camera to carry out every one of the considering personally. Due to people, typically erroneous, thinking about digital photography I've made a decision to create a listing of 101 reasons that many of us need to work with a specialist digital photographer instead of according to their "good friend having a pleasant high-end camera." This collection - in no specific get - is principally focused on wedding photography but may include almost any taking pictures. A Professional Professional photographer 1. produces images, he doesn't obtain a photograph and "hope it comes out." 2. has put in yrs researching every facet of creating a images. 3. is aware of which camera lens to make use of in which condition. 4. understands how to set up your camera for any steady appear no matter position (wedding service, reception, outdoors, and so on.) 5. understands how to effectively make use of a flash for gentle, even lights. 6. is aware of when you use many flashes to make a wonderful arena. 7. is able to generate a scenario appear "normal" rather than like he was using a display whatsoever. 8. understands what aperture to set his camera lens to for that search that will make you look the ideal. 9. understands what shutter speed to create to record the ambient lighting, produce the a sense of movement, or freeze an object set up. 10. will sometimes shell out several hours retouching just one picture to make sure it is ideal. 11. is aware when you should use out digicam lighting effects (strobes) to make a selected seem or smoothly light a small grouping of people today or even a area. 12. has specialist equipment. 13. has spent about the same sum or more for *each individual* zoom lens that he operates than he have for his digital camera entire body. 14. manages multiple high-end camera systems if there is products disappointment. 15. is familiar with to validate his photos to multiple spots to protect yourself from laptop or computer collision problems. 16. has invested much more on add-ons Backdrops , Light-weight Holds , Controllers for Display , Storing Cases , Umbrellas , Tripods , Tripod Heads , and so forth.) than he performed on his digital camera(s). 17. spends significant amounts of cash and time setting up a web site, advertising, and advertising. 18. will be glad to spend several time reaching with you, addressing queries, emailing, going through every piece of information with the wedding day, scouting the place(s), and many others. to make certain that all things are accomplished how you will need it. 19. will talk about a "photo record" to you in order that practically nothing, or no one gets overlooked. (You already know that you've got an granddad Joe, however your wedding photographer doesn't if you do not inform him.) 20. are going to be expert about consuming pictures with the precious bride and bridesmaids since they are getting ready. 21. knows how to immediate groups of customers to be photographed in order that everyone seems good (no shut down sight, yawns, people today concealed at the rear of other individuals, etc.) 22. won't be ingesting in the wedding party like granddad Joe. 23. is able to record the minute. (not when you're pulling beyond the very first kiss but appropriate as your mouth contact) 24. is able to come up with a marriage record so that it not just reveals great photos, but tells an incredible storyline. 25. is able to fit the hue of his display lighting effects towards the shade of the background mild (tungsten, phosphorescent, in the open air from the color, and so on.) 26. keeps on top of the most recent tendencies in picture taking designs to make sure that he will be able to offer you anything that a person could possibly want. (imagine reddish colored wine cups by using a grayscale backdrop ) 27. maintains track of the most recent electronic digital editing equipment to make distinctive and unique artwork for you to appreciate. 28. can snap video. 29. did this before. He's not at the wedding ceremony to "process his photography" 30. will allow your guests be a guest. Uncle Joe will in fact manage to experience the wedding as opposed to being anxious about being sure that he becomes each of the photos he believes you must have. 31. will typically spend around 5 time Ahead of the wedding day when preparing, and among 40 and 60 hours AFTER the wedding croping and editing pics, helping to make designs, framing, making slideshows, generating wedding day albums, confirming instructions, speaking to the clinical, and many others. Do you think you were having to pay many thousand bucks simply for 8 hours on the wedding day? 32. understands that the average price of a large wedding ceremony is around $20,000 knowning that the only thing that you just will keep (other than the gown) is the digital photography. 33. knows that the average price tag allocated to catered food items service is around $3000. 34. knows that the standard selling price devoted to blooms(that may end up in the trash is focused on $2000 35. will gladly permit visitors get photographs throughout the wedding ceremony. 36. will conform to all principles concerning flash photography in your ceremony. Most places of worship will never permit flash photography during the wedding. How will you get good photographs in a dim church with no flash...? Employ a professional! 37. is able to make great pictures while becoming unobtrusive and unobtrusive. 38. knows that it is significantly smarter to save money by skimping for the roses, foodstuff, music and songs, spot, and so forth. as an alternative to to skimp on the only thing that you may have to keep from a wedding day (your pictures). 39. is aware what it's like to have a woman (who didn't hire him simply because her uncle Joe possessed a great digicam)contact him in tears inquiring should there be in any manner he could "resolve" grandfather Joe's pictures. 40. has learned the value of not retaining his clients holding out on their own photographs for a few months at the same time. 41. will focus on capturing wonderful thoughts instead of conversing with his close friends within the wedding ceremony (eh hmm...grandfather Joe...) 42. knows how to pose the bride and groom (along with bridesmaids, groomsmen, household, and so on.) so that you will look your absolute best. 43. is familiar with what perspectives to take so that your photos would be the most flattering. 44. understands that the buying price of your camera has absolutely nothing regarding the creative expertise of the digital photographer. 45. will "see the photo" long before he raises the video camera to his eyes. 46. will prepare for the second ahead of time to ensure he is completely ready when it comes about (the kiss, the wedding cake receiving smeared with your new hubby's encounter, etcetera.) 47. has seen the marriage course of action many times and definitely will happily work together with you (or perhaps your coordinator) to make sure that all the things moves as sleek as possible. 48. are going to be full of great ideas to help out together with your wedding far above just taking the photographs. 49. can shoot objectively and won't be as emotional as a relative or buddy. 50. can catch the sentiments of everyone different within the wedding. 51. is able to put together and deal with other professionals at the celebration (ring, DJ, wedding day coordinator, minister, and so on.) 52. has a vested curiosity about causing you to appearance your best. Not alone have you paid out him for his providers but also, he sees that if you appreciate what he does you will then be advising him to your entire pals. There's a classic indicating among photography addicts that goes "should you mess up a portrait you should apologize, should you ruin a marriage you should abandon area" 53. is aware that you can expect to hardly ever be sorry for experiencing employed an expert and getting skilled effects, however you will feel dissapointed about, from now on, looking to "save money" and having your pal function as the shooter. 54. doesn't use the "vehicle" setting around the digicam. Ever. 55. sees that word of mouth is the perfect promoting and definately will just be sure you are taken care of so that you can propagate an excellent phrase. 56. can placed individuals comfortable who aren't use to becoming while watching camera. 57. features a "bag of techniques" up his sleeves to create the most awesome practical experience feasible for you and your wedding ceremony. 58. causes it to become enjoyable. This isn't a career for him, it's a interest! 59. won't just provide you with a Compact disk or Digital video disc of images right from the digicam, and may painstakingly go through just about every impression to by professionals boost them while using the most current electronic software program. 60. knows about personal time management and definitely will capture so as to maintain your big day flowing properly.

[supermanonesie-blog]

the brain of a crazy bitch

First thought: Why do people share? Why write and then invite others online to read what you have to say? For me, it’s a matter of de-stigmatization. Bad stigma causes undue social shame. That’s unnecessary. I often forget what my mother told me a long time ago—one of the many valuable things she has taught me over my twenty-six years of existence (along with how to use a toilet, which has come in handy truly countless times, as you can imagine). She said, when you think you’re the only one in the world who feels the way you do, remember the billions of other people on the planet—and it’s SO unlikely you’re the only one. (I think we’re at about 7 billion right now.)

This idea was one of the few sentiments I heard as a child that defied the theme of “you are special and unique and there is nobody like you”. It also, now that I reflect upon it, aligns with a common trend in my thinking which is that of statistics of large numbers—another occupational side effect—although numbers in the billions are quite small compared to numbers that deal with atoms and molecules vibrating and whooshing around in the air and water and other phases. Damn, Avogadro. Your name sounds like avocado, and you really nailed it with 10^23. Two things that make you awesome. And for those of you who are like, ummmm excuse me, it’s actually 6.0222 blah blah blah? Fuck off, those decimal places are a joke.

As usual, I have digressed. Although, statistics of large numbers is quite on point—perhaps more so than you may know. The reason is this: I think that intellectually, we can understand that other people feel the same way we do about a given subject. However, because humans are cursed with the overwhelming phenomenon of emotion and the unfortunate skill of emotional analysis, when overwhelmed with a certain feeling, it is nearly impossible to remind ourselves that we are not broken or fucked up or so different or too much or too little or wrong in some way. It is SO hard to remember that you’re really fine to be whoever you are. If you fall somewhere within 5 or 6 sigma of the Gaussian average of humans, you (no matter how much you fight or deny this) care a great deal what people think and how far you fall from your conceptualization of what is “normal”. Now, depending on who you are, you may range from caring to what one person thinks of you to what 7x10^9 people think of you, but you fucking care. It will greatly calm your overall emotional existence to care MORE what you think of yourself, but I do think this is a common struggle.

Here, I ruminate on my experience with men in the lens of this theme. Unmistakably, this applies to a crazy number of women. Not 10^23, but a lot. As a woman (and you fuckers who are like, ugh gross, she’s going to go on a rant and she’s a man hater – shut up, I love men – A. LOT. and I don’t hate most of you, just the uninvited pussy grabbers and feeling-shamers). Okay, so as a woman who is 26, I have lived a lot of my pre-teen to adult life receiving direct and indirect messages from guys that they would like me more if I were different. I could reach perfection if I could just get rid of a fewwww things about me. And furthermore, that I am some level of unworthy of respect, appreciation, attention, time, whatever—because I care, am engaged, interested, emotional, aggressive, confident, insatiable, curious, intense, and my favorite: CRAZY. 

But if I lose my center and start focusing more on how he might think of me and less of what I think of him, then the only thing I am doing is playing games (potentially just with myself) to make me feel like I am desirable and in possession of the upper hand. This is one of the most challenging things to avoid in my personal life. This might be singularly the only challenging thing in my personal life. This leads me feeling shitty, alone, undesirable, WEIRD, CRAZY, STUPID….the list goes on. 

When did I become like this and why? How did I fuck up so much? 

It’s been like this since I was something like 12 years old at camp and my initial reaction to having a crush on this boy (a whole year old than me!!! Omigod) was the thought that there was no way he would like me because I was not as pretty as other girls. (Side note, total bullshit because I was adorable and way thinner than I thought I was, and objectively very cute.) From that point on, I garnered so much anxiety from feeling like I had to act like the “ideal girl” that I spent a stupid amount of time trying to look like it, talk like it, act like it, etc. 

This worrying was and is made a thousand times worse by the fact that 1) I have – as one of my best guy friends has put it—the eye of Sauron. Meaning, I notice and interpret the subtlest nuances of physical, facial, and inter-personal behavior roughly a million times better than the average human. (Comment on this: it in no way means that I respond in a smart way. In fact, it’s about 40/60 idiotic/smart. I’ve thought about this a great deal, and I’m convinced that it’s more amusing to do unpredictable things and see how the other person reacts. It’s fucking masochistic. And also endlessly interesting.) 

It (my worrying) is also worsened by the fact that 2) I have generalized anxiety. It wasn’t called anything until my therapist said it aloud about 4 years ago, but looking back on my life, it’s something that has influenced my behavior and choices in one way or another since I was about 12 years old. The first time she said it, I came in (like a wrecking ball, if you will or if you won’t – lol) with alllllllll sorts of judgement about what this meant, and how I felt like I had to pretend I didn’t have this, and how it meant I was different and messed up, blah blah blah. But basically, it’s what I’ve inherited genetically, I can’t change that it’s there, and it unfortunately means pretty much what it sounds like. I garner anxiety from generally everything, plus or minus some things depending on what my anxiety has me nervous about. It’s taken me through absolute rock-bottom hell, which I clawed my way out of with the unwavering love, patience, strength, and kindness of a dear friend (and two amazing doctors). After two straight years of what I would classify broadly as SHIT, I found something that worked for me in order to live my best life and as much as possible diminish this blanket anxiety. I don’t think I toot my own horn a lot, but god damn, that is something to be seriously proud of while getting a PhD. 

I bring this up because I think that over the years, my anxiety latched onto this phenomenon of being the ideal woman (in the eyes of men). The problem was that as I set my goal to summit this mountain, and gain the ultimate freedom from feeling not good enough and having to pretend I was someone different, I picked the wrong summit towards which to climb. I – rather unknowingly, I think – decided that if I was to be free from this, I would be SO amazing in the eyes of men that I would be desirable to them all, and not be under their control. THIS – THIS IS INSANE. For so many reasons. This also DROVE ME INSANE, because, DUH, “men” are not identical humans with identical tastes and identical values. This makes this mountain, well, insurmountable, sets up a totally unhealthy power dynamic, and fuels anxiety. It’s a fucking positive feedback loop sort of nightmare. 

But why is it so hard to kick this habit? One, because when you do something for a decade, it’s always a practice to change. And I fuck up. A LOT. I am stupidly good at chasing boys off. And it makes me kick myself in the head, because then it becomes totally unclear if they are assholes, idiots, whatever, or they are totally thrown by my erratic fluctuations between when I decide to play the game (so tempting) and when I decide to be totally open and when I decide they’re a jerk (the fallback).

It’s also hard to kick this habit because it’s become all-too common social standard for women to be classified as “too much”, “too talkative”, “too into talking about feelings”, and on and on. I would like to say that women and men are wired differently. Of COURSE women talk. We are wired to be good at emotional communication. We also have higher body fat content that is not so easy to decrease. AND NO, CHILDREN, it’s not just in our tits and asses. Women’s magazines somehow are all about instructing us to get the Brazilian Booty, Kaley Cuoco’s abs, Give Him the Sex He Dreams Of (thanks Cosmo, you actually say the weirdest shit), what to eat to be skinny, how to be happy having three almonds every four hours because you’re too fat, spend time deciding Who Wore It Best, shame Kim Kardashian because OMG she has cellulite on her enormous ass (honestly, how is she supposed to tone that whole thing? It’s the size of a planet), shame women and not men for making sex tapes, tell women that they’re only pretty if they look young, make sure that we don’t have pubic hair even though we grow it... the list is so long. It is insane. And it is 90% about how to be more appealing to guys, even many things under the guise of “how to be your best self”. But tbh, magazines, part of being MY best self involves not torturing myself and wasting my time reading your bullshit. 

So, that’s why it’s hard to get rid of the anxiety. Even for women who are lucky enough not to be generally anxious.

I’ve been lucky enough to have many romantic relationships. Roughly 40% of these guys have in large part not been good to me, and I’ve stuck around, trying to be the person they wanted. Luckily, I am not longer in one of these. Actually, I’m not in any romantic relationship. They make me fucking nervous because I’m convinced I’m going to ruin it or they’re going to bail. 

I don’t regret the unhealthy relationships because – as with all things, the bad doesn’t make the good any less good, and I always absolutely adore the times where the physical or emotional connection was so insane, I literally felt like I was on drugs.

I also am so grateful that I have had relationships spanning 3 years and then 2-ish with men who adored me and respected me and made me feel safe. They loved and love that I am fucking nuts and spontaneous and say and wonder about deep things and stupid things and immerse myself earnestly and unselfconsciously (when it happens) in all curiosities and the fun of life and being an animal (some feline variety, duh). They also, through their confidence in themselves, have the ability to appreciate that people are imperfect, and that was unavoidably contagious.  

It’s almost two years of being single – the longest I have ever been single since the start of my dating life at 15 (wuuuuut??). I sometimes feel old habits emerge, and the judgment that stems from that perturbs my hard-won confidence into an oscillating unstable disaster.  

I know I can’t explain all of this to someone I like who I’ve just met because, well, it’s baggage, as all people have, and you can’t just bring your whole big bag of shit and dump it on someone as they’re just establishing that you’re potentially pretty cool and they really want to stick it in your ear (Yeah, I said ear.). But oops, I just did it again, Britney Fucking Spears style. And the guys who spaz, the hypocrites who are allowed to do their version of crazy while I swallow it and stick around? They should probably grow a little. I don’t even want to say “grow up”, because this isn’t something that necessarily comes with age. It just comes with life and realizing that the low-hanging fruit isn’t all that stimulating-- it’s actually pretty boring. And sometimes you gotta take some weirdness to get the juiciest peach higher up on the tree. 

So, it’s fun to fall down the rabbit hole. I want to have a bunch of moments where I feel like I can be free and open, and meet people who are interesting, open, anddddd can throw down and retain their confidence and not get swayed by some minor aspects of you because well, you’re a human, and you have a history, and you’re imperfect. But with that will inevitably come many men who peace after I drop a bag of my anxiety on their toes by accident. It feels sucky, but saying “that was a sucky thing” instead of “I must suck” took a long time, and I wish I had learned to do that earlier in my life. 

You don’t have to be perfect; you don’t have to meet his expectations. You need to meet yours. And if you’re a fun kind of crazy, go be your fucking fun brand of crazy, because that’s why you love yourself after all. 

[pickshoeswithfafa-blog]

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