#i genuinely don't think i have ever been as infatuated with a character as i have with him IT'S ACTUALLY WILD LMAO 😭😭😭

[loveydoveylex]

I LOVE MY BOYFRIENDDDDD I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!! GUYS!!! DID YOU KNOW!!!! I ADORE HIM!!!! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY, HE IS MY EVERYTHING 💖 i'm sososososo happy i got into his games, it is genuinely crazy how much i fell for him, but god am i glad i did!!! ❤❤❤ bELOVEDDD BELOVED BELOVED

[pushingdaisies1]

Its never too late baby . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Mutant Reader >_<

(✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> You were always someone who utilized your strengths. Physical and mental, you were a jack of all trades. You were a true hero to the students you taught within the school. Amongst the other X-men, you would always be one of them. But you had this little tick, that always annoyed Logan no doubt. You were a secretive person, too secretive for even his "standards." For others, you were a pillar of nurture and guidance. He saw your well-meaning nature from miles away. It was almost sickening to him how you would stretch your capabilities out to no end. He would never deny that he could be selfish. Sometimes it's more worth it to save your spine, than risk it for someone else. Though with the problems being thrown the team's way as of recent, he always saw you spinning your wheels. You wouldn't reason with him even when he of all people would lend you a shoulder to cry on. Even the students at the school could see it. With their childish snickers and big-eyed looks at your comfortable banter with Mr. Howlett whenever he helped with class. You were in love with the Wolverine. Again, out of all the Canadians - him? It wasn't something like a schoolgirl crush. It was an infatuation sort of deal. You burned for him mind body and soul. You would pretty much follow this scoundrel to the ends of the earth, even the end of your life if prompted. Which causes something to break between you two after you risk your livelihood for your family. The people that made up your heart, including Logan.

(✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> hi party people!! I saw so much of the sweet reception for my first ever logan piece , so tysm!! Genuinely from the bottom of my heart the love means so much. As I’m currently going through my x-men marathon time if you will , I’ve had this idea brewing for a while. Thankfully the resurgence of logan content has given me the push needed to formulate this yk! This isn’t a part two to my previous logan post. That will be coming very shortly, but this is its own thing. Timeline wise... erm.... idrk a good place to put this SIGH. I'm thinking like in between x2 and the last stand. also one last final note , the title I took from Chemtrails over the country club. specifically the one lyric - "it's never too late baby so don't give up." felt like an appropriate whimsy title, nd I have been hearing that song everywhere lolz. Anyways, toodles!!! ᐢᗜᐢ (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Descriptions of blood and graphic injury , they/them pronouns for reader !! , mentions of major character deal , Logan cares too much ... which could mean nothing , ur comatose for like the good first chunk of this , Jean and u have LORE!!!!! (not rlly but u and her have backstory beefers/her "passing" affect reader 100%) , mourning/grief, And that's on having no healing powers!! Buh-dun-csh!!

Your fall from grace was quick on the battlefield. This was supposed to just be any regular mission. You were using it as a way to clear your head after all. But you took a leap too far and now here you were, plummeting. The issue at hand was apprehended, sure. But you didn't leave the fight unscathed. Your vision grew too spotty for you to even make out your surroundings. Your hearing too even started to fog. Looking down, somehow or some way a large-sized piece of shrapnel metal had made it into your torso. Right in the sweet spot that was not in the lungs. Your legs began to wobble, losing your footing slowly but surely. You didn't realize your body was falling to the ground. The warm feeling rushing through you was the blood exiting from your hefty wound. It was ironic the last thing your eyes met before collapsing. Logan turned back around immediately once he noticed you weren't clamoring to the jet. His heart sunk to his stomach as he immediately sprung over to you. By the time your head had smacked against the ground, you went out. Your fingertips began to buzz, your fatigue lifting all of a sudden. All of the hurt and weight on your shoulders lifted? You felt freer than before, with a piece of debree stuck inside of your body no more. Even if some people regarded mutants as the next step in human evolution, a majority were still stuck with fleshy bodies. If only you were made out of steel. In this momentary unconsciousness, you thought about everything that went wrong. Your existence as a whole, joining the school. Moving up from student to teacher at Professor Xavier's school, like Scott and Ororo you were one of the first. Regarded as maybe one of the most useful of the bunch. No one could ever compete with Storm, the literal incarnate of a goddess. You thought of her as your eyes closed, embraced with the warm memories of your early days within the school.

The professor was never one to play favorites among his students. But when he searched you out and arrived with a less conniving Magneto at your door, it was clear you were special to him and his cause. From that day forward you were seen as a pillar of hope to a lot of the students. To some, you were like a mother, to others a guardian who would save them no matter the risk. To Logan Howlett - "The Wolverine", you were a coward. A coward that he admired. A coward he respected due to the ways you handled... stress in the simplest of terms. From the day he met you, he wandered around the halls of the mansion bewildered and confused. Something about you stuck out. He would've done something with this urge sooner if his eyes weren't honed in on another.

From day one you were not surprised how fast he fell and yearned for Jean. The woman you saw as your confidant, your best friend, she was magnificent. Smart and poised all in one with a strong set of mutant abilities. She was on the same power level as the professor, which made sense for their connection.

For living in Jean's shadow, you didn’t hate it. You were her right-hand man. Your balance was comforting, she was like your sister. The professor in small quiet moments of honesty to you liked to compare you to him and Magnus. When times were simpler they weren’t at opposing ends of the mutant kind spectrum. Yours and Jean's dynamic made you feel at ease with yourself. How could you worry? Your identity became a part of hers a long time ago. Logan saw more to that with you. Sure you could nag a lot of the time, and you always barked up his tree whenever he found ways to smoke on school grounds. But you just had this pull for him. He'd always find his way to see you first whenever entering a room. His brash and gritty attitude always got all mushy around you. He over time grew a lot more fond of the smallest details when it came to you. He was an amnesiac, his past only bits and pieces. But you made him feel grounded. You cherished his growth in ways no one else had. You were the reason why he was so drawn to the "now" of life. He needed that in times like this. He couldn't keep up for long after the realization that Jean was gone finally sunk in. Drowning at his one-sided attraction, the longing that he could've done more, you pulled him right out from that rut. Thank god that the two of you combined had horrible sleep schedules. His nightmares still stirred while you were suddenly afflicted with these with the memories of being on that jet when it wouldn't take off. That same pain rocketed through you every night as you were haunted by the sight of Jean finally swept into the oncoming flood. The feeling of grief ricocheted throughout the entire school. But you found your way to stay afloat. It was Logan, which you never thought of yourself admitting. But truth be told it was him. He was the most anchoring thing around you. Ororo distanced herself for the first month, while Scott cracked under the pressure of grief. Late nights dashing around the campus halls to the kitchen, out to the court where you two just talked. You had never seen him talk so much until you two became each other's support. It made you feel better seeing him smile more. Especially when it was at you. Again, you would never utter that truth EVER. At least that's what you thought. But his smile was a nice reminder of all of the light he held inside of him. As much as he despised ... everything, he was still so nurturing in his own ways. Nightmares were an excuse for him to be next to you. Nightmares were his excuse to hold you tight to his chest. The pain of loss was a collective "excuse" between the two of you to just .. be close.

Soon though, this ideal predicament between you both started to crack. Because even though she was dead, you still knew you would always be inferior. It may be all in your head but the hate kept you driven. It kept you driven but also mad. Small things would set you off soon enough. You knew deep down whenever he'd look into your eyes, it was a nice reminder of Jean. Even with how much he denied it when you came to him in tears, your bitter pain and grief clouded your judgment.

Logan saw that even with his help you were still hurting. He didn't want to get involved in it entirely as some of it was your own demon. But he saw how bad your spiraling was and still wouldn't accept his help. Not even from Ororo or Scott, not even the professor. Neither of you would admit who started the argument. It was late, and you were tired from pushing yourself to grade papers. Logan couldn't sleep and wandered his way to your classroom of course. The conversation was fine until he mentioned the problem. Your problem which you didn't want to deal with right now. As you were only running on a few hours of sleep. But even with Logan's usual "take and give no fucks" attitude, he knew he needed to push. You were slowly shutting yourself off this time, and he didn't expect himself to be a part of that mix. It was all a misunderstanding, but the two of you were angry and fire was thrown.

Your shared feelings were complicated. This whole ordeal with him brought out the "worst parts" of your love for him. He too was dealing with his internal dilemma. How could he move on from Jean and you were still latched onto the idea of her? It was a stupid question that was brought up in a Logan way, which of course caused the spat to escalate. His poor mistake was what he shouted. Already with the fear of waking one or even all of the students, you hated what he even dared to utter. "We're friends, you need to calm down about this whole obsession thing bub!" Originally you were thinking of just heading to bed. You were too tired to continue on with this constant bickering. But that's when you exploded on him. You regretted every last word you said to his face. Because it was you speaking your honest truth. About what you felt for him, about your hurt and your pain. How Jean was practically your lifeline. Losing her was like losing a piece of yourself. Especially since you rubbed it in about the kiss he and her shared. That you had seen and that made you sick to your stomach. A couple hours later she was dead. Your heightened emotions make you feel almost dizzy. The more you talked the more you realized his expressions distinct shift. As he was reaching out for you, you immediately swatted his arm askew. He didn't realize he hated to see you cry as much as he did until now. With broken sobs, you ran out of your classroom. The papers once stacked neatly were now laid messily all over your desk. You made sure to keep quiet. What broke your heart even more was a half-awake Rogue you ran into. She looked even more awake seeing your distraught state. Her feet tip-toed against the wooden floors of the hall before she looked at you. A big reason you and Logan were so close too, was because of Rogue. She was a good kid, he always rubbed off on her. He told you everything about how he and Rogue met. You were so enamored hearing him recount even the foggiest of memories. It could even be arguments with Scott he had, you'd just sit there with wide eyes as you listened. His word became your gospel. It warmed you to your core hearing him almost sound like a dad. He had looked out for her from the beginning. You always tried to do the same even when he left for Alklai Lake for answers.

It was so silly when she had practically pushed you and Logan to talk. She was just a kid and you two took up the almost suto role of her protectors. Friend or parent, she too found two trusted people to confide in. So you immediately went into "teacher mode" as soon as she saw you with watery eyes. She looked puzzled when her face met yours. You calmed down her storm of questions as she sputtered on and on. What's wrong? , is something happening? Are you okay? The hug you shared was one of the last meaningful hugs you had with another living being. You practically cradled her in your arms as you helped her calm down. She looked up at you, her larger brown eyes almost like the ones of a puppy. "Please don't be lying to me... y'know ah don't like liars." She whispered softly, her bubbly southern accent quiet. Your heart broke into a couple more pieces as you lied through your teeth. With a content nod, you bidded her a goodnight. Turning back to your room to drown your sorrow in god knows what. It had only been a good couple of months after Jeans' death that a mission arose. The X-men were laying low after everything at the base. For the school's and students' sake. But it was always on time when something bad happened for the team to fix. Old enemies came a-knocking and this time it wasn't Magneto. It was all supposed to be an in-and-out operation. You immediately clamored to get your hands dirty once again. You and Logan hadn't been talking for the last couple of days. Not even meeting in the dead of night to speak to another. You longed to hear about his afternoons subbing with Storm. This was your chance to regain some well-needed level-headedness. The thrill of doing what's right for a better tomorrow always made you feel better The mission even got Scott to come out of his puddle of mourning. Making you feel even better seeing your good friend so triumphant as he quickly clamored for his uniform. You and Logan didn't even brush shoulders as Storm and Scott dashed off to prepare the jet for takeoff. Everything should have gone fine. You should have all made it out alive. Every single one of you, that's what you had planned. Your lapse in judgment will always be your curse. Because now here you were, in the lap of the man that made your stomach churn. That made you feel LIKE that silly schoolgirl feeling you despised. Snapping back to reality, you realize where you are currently laid. Logan's eyes eased from his previous panicked look of fear as he saw you conscious. You were still bleeding but it seems that with quick medical attention either one of them got it to lessen. Your heart raced as you felt the warmness of his hands as they pressed against your cheeks. "Come on, there you go. Just focus on me." He cooed to your heaving chest. In the far back of the jet, you couldn't see Ororo or Scott. What you could see though was the remnants of blood on Logan's suit. He must have carried you off of the rubble and into the X-jet. Your smile was nothing compared to the horrid wince that left you. Finally, after this long moment of ease, the pain set in.

Going down to hold your gut, you shuddered as your vision all of a sudden wavered. You took in a sharp breath as finally, you noticed how in bad shape you were. Red filled your palm as you shuddered. Thankfully Logan noticed you and your shaky breath and immediately gripped your hand. Even in this state, you were currently in, you would always be able to focus on him. "I know, I know it's scary. You got hit pretty bad, but it's okay. Just focus on me and you'll be okay? I have you." He encouraged softly with that comforting rasp in his throat. His eyes were shaken and his lip was firm. Though his mood lightened somewhat because at least now you were awake.

You tried to speak but you were so weak. That same fatigue stung you as you stumbled over your words. He cradled you in his arms as he kept his eyes only on you. Your weary mind still around belittling you, another one of your eerily humane curses. He saw your chest quicken and lip quiver as your eyes began to lull, you were struggling. "Hey .. don't strain yourself - what is it?" He too began to worry as you saw his vulnerability bloom. Finally your chest steady as you took in one big breath of air. You let out the one thing keeping you from slipping back into rest in one huff. "Don't let me die, asshole." The asshole part came out more garbled from you after you coughed out your last words. Your last words before your eyes fell closed. For some reason, your hearing stayed for just a while longer. In and out, you could hear him cursing under his breath. The last thing you hear is Logan's panicked shouting at Scott, "Can this hunk of metal go any faster?!"

Finally, after so much pain, there was quiet. Peace and quiet after your constant heartache. You felt freed from the chains of reality. From birth to now, now seemed like your death. You left your current reality with a bitter-sweet smile as you felt consciousness swarm over you.

You couldn't feel how long you were out. Oh, but Logan could. Six weeks you lay in the infirmary. With some sort of miracle and hope, Ororo was barely able to stabilize you. The team rushed back into the mansion in panic as your wounds were assessed. But no, you couldn't feel the panic that coursed through your loved ones as you lay so peacefully. You didn't know your heart rate was being tracked. You were stable but anyone could guess it'd take you a while to re-reach consciousness. That your accident broke the barely well Scott Summers. But most of all it affected Logan to the core. He felt his world shake under him as he finally realized what had just happened. Something snapped in a man so stuck in his ways. Those words you said to him before you went back down. They were short but in the moment meant so much. Not to mention the fact that even Logan, so careless and free, was guilty. Every time he came back just to see you, he wanted to curl over and into you. Just like how he mourned Jean, he mourned you. Though .. he couldn't because you were technically still here. He may have not noticed it but everyone else could. The lack of your presence hindered him the worst. He missed the way you'd bother him out of the blue during the quiet time around the school. He missed you telling him about your life. He missed the shitty snort you did when you laughed too hard at one of his bad jokes. He missed seeing you happy. He missed seeing you move around. Pestering students for turning in assignments late or cheating. He missed the feel of your lips against his forehead when his nightmares of Jean flared up. He missed the way you looked at him. The way you saw him not only as a man but as himself. He didn't know how to admit it but he.. missed you. He missed you so bad and it was eating away at him. He spent hours out of his day visiting you. Like what you two always did when you were alone, he talked. About his day, what he ate, and even the lessons he overheard. The school got even quieter with you gone and he hated it. He felt bitter and broken, he didn't want to feel like that. He especially missed the way he felt with you. Almost like being on cloud nine. He finally understood the pain you felt when Jean died. This time on a more intimate level than he'd like to admit. He felt like the moon was ripped away from him after the sun. Now he was just the lonely tide, washing away against the shore until you returned. Ororo did all she could to help. All she could do was maintain your physical well-being as your body healed with rest. Logan hated the wait. The time you spent not walking around the halls of the school was maybe one of the worst times in his life. Since it hit him so deep on a real level. In this array of pain and even more guilt, he felt something dawn on him as you were still comatose. He was in love with you, Logan was in love with you. He felt like an idiot but the realization would always stay true. No matter how stupid he felt. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew. In the middle of his thought process, he heard the swift slide open of the infirmary doors.

Right now he was standing over you. The one thing that kept his spirits high about your recovery was the gentle rise and lower of your chest. He didn't have to look behind him to know it was Storm. She too had taken her time checking in on your unconscious form. He sighed as she walked up right beside him. She gently cupped the examination table where your body would lay. She looked down at her hands with a bitter-sweet smile on her lips. She looked over to Logan, who was at a pause with himself. She decided to finally break the long silence. "You know they'll be fine, right?" She hummed as she glanced up to look over you. He chuckled softly as his brow pinched. His chuckle came out more like a rugged scoff. "I know, this just feels weird." He sucked in a breath of stale air. "It was funny the first night you arrived at the mansion.." Storm drew up a memory of that fateful night. "As soon as I and Scott brought you in, they immediately volunteered to help Jean down here with your examination. They were always enamored with your set of abilities. You were one of a kind to them especially, I suppose." Now his hands gripped into the sides of the examination table. He looked down, in pity of you and himself. How could he be so blind? Storm butted in once more as she noticed his demeanor shift. "All I'm saying is, they'd be happy to know how much you worried." He nodded in response, reminiscing when things were good. From your first encounter to now, his heart warmed. "I'd do it for anyone else." He gritted out as he bit back a smile. The truth was he was still in agony about Jean's loss. It felt wrong to love you as he had longed for her after all of this time. But you felt like a whole different story. He didn't have to sit in agony knowing that no matter what his love would always be with another. You always gave him the time and day, hell even down to the minute to just be honest. He needed you at his side no matter what you were to him. Maybe you were more than a friend, maybe he was crazy about you, but you understood him. In a way maybe Jean never had. Ororo knew he needed more time so she complied with the awkwardness in the air. "I'll give you some more time. Rest easy Logan, they'd want that." She insisted before making her way out of the infirmary. He immediately looked down back at you, before looking back at the monitor tracking your heart. He sighed, biting into his lip. He stuttered the only thing that had been keeping him sane since he last felt your eyes open. "Don't fail me now dimples... I need you." He gritted as his teeth were practically ground into his gums. It has become a regular part of his routine now. Once the students were back in their dorms for the night, down to the infirmary he goes. He could never be tired of seeing you at rest. Seeing you okay and not in pain. He just wished he could hear you speak. He hoped that you could hear his pleas for you to wake.

As much as he longed for you he just bided his time. Like the fool he was, like the idiot he felt like when you made him so weak. You made him feel the most human he ever could feel.

That day was supposed to be a normal day. Classes had been more and more brief. After the loss of Jean and you being "put out." But he did not expect to see what he did next. Going into the elevator to head downstairs, to of course see you as always. He was ready to talk about what you missed away and so on. His chest tightened once he saw what was right in front of him. It was you, you were walking? You were awake and on your own two feet. Your midsection was still bandaged but at least you were standing up straight. But then it finally clicked. Wait, you shouldn't even be walking around right now?!

He immediately ran to steady you once your expression went more absent. "Welcome back to the land of the living." He roughly inquired with a small, pleased grin. "I feel like shit, so don't start with me Wolvie." You gritted out with that smile that made him too feel all good on the inside. Quickly, his arms calmly wrapped around you. He longed for your embrace for too long. It wasn't like you were fighting him when he enacted this. You wrapped your arms around him too. He made sure not to squeeze too tight with your bandages and all. A gentleman must stay mindful, he could recall you poking at him as he had a beer bottle half hidden in his jacket.

Your head gently rested in the crook of his neck. That quiet he hated so much before when seeing you in the infirmary was warmer now. He liked the peace and quiet between the two of you when you were there WITH him. After some minutes passed, you met him back face to face. You eyes lingered as you watched the way he swallowed in with composure. You had longed for him to see you. Finally, all the puzzle pieces were clicking, and with your luck all at once. You knew before this would have never happened. It felt wrong and almost hurtful for you to be doing this. But go big or go home I guess. It was you who initiated it, and he gratefully complied. Still keeping you steady, once your lips met his hand immediately went to cup your cheek. In the bliss shared, all of a sudden it felt right. The tender embrace of your lips with his felt good. It was hungry and it was liberating. You could feel his heart beating out of his chest as quick gasps for air were taken. "I'm sorry." He uttered out, forehead against yours. "I know." You said with a sanguine look in your eye. "I love you." He uttered again at a rapid pace. "I know." You purred, your eyes looking back into his hazy ones. Things would always be complicated between the both of you. But deep down you had hope. Maybe not now, someday things could just be normal between you and The Wolverine. That's all you wanted and that's all you dreamed of. Yours and his timing by all means was horrible. So it wasn't surprising this delightful moment got interrupted by Scott of all people. You and Logan looked back, hands immediately darting off of one another. Time to address THAT later.

Scott's mouth fell agape as he began to regret coming down here in the first place. He readjusted his glasses with a small scowl. "Well hello to you too, and Logan." He turned his head to give him that same look. "Wanted to check on you but clearly -" He made sure to put a specific emphasis on 'clearly.' "That job has been overtaken by him.. I'll get Ororo." Before either you or Logan could interrupt him, Scott was already pressing buttons up to the main floor. Now that it was just the two of you bubbling laughs were shared. You felt finally okay. You felt like yourself after those months of nothing but remembrance. You and The Wolverine wormed back into conversation as you could finally talk BACK to him. Another thing you wouldn't ever admit was that yes, you did hear him. His gentle words would always be your favorite secret. After that display of affection though, your and Logan's bond never stayed just a little secret after that. Even after all the trial and error, and the more soon to come, you finally had another moment. Another moment that you could look at when you are older and with more grays on your head. Logan Howlett was yours, no matter how much the universe wanted to throw you around a loop. You'd always have him by your side, till the end of time. Nothing would stop you from cherishing this connection. Not even the burning phoenix crackling over the horizon. You and Logan against time baby.

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3

[lych33dragoncookie]

Only the masterpieces that survive the fiercest flames earn their place in history.

(Analysis post)

Alright, they absolutely cooked this update. Like, undeniably so. I was admittedly not that huge of a fan of the last 2 beast yeast chapters we got; they had really good ideas, and Mystic Flour is a wonderful character, but... Dark Cacao hasn't really been done enough with for it to feel like it had the amount of weight it could have, and it really doesn't feel like much about him actually changed at all. Combine that with a complete lack of interesting dynamics and you have a lot of very good and genuinely pretty well thought out story concepts with extensive cultural research, executed in a way that feels more like a traditional old-school story that weakens the attachment the audience feels to the components of said story.

Here, though? I have no complaints so far. It was absolutely wild in fact, to the point where I don't think it's gonna happen again (nor am I entirely sure it should ever happen again). This was back to back, non-stop, smack to the face one after the other. The moment the first point of conflict came up, it was just shit happening left and right; even in the mandatory moment of rest where we chill out for a bit, it's revealed that hey, these sandstorms? Yeah the sand is actually ashes. It's the remains of all the people that live here. Whether they died off on their own or were killed by someone else.

And if that wasn't enough, very shortly after;

... It's fucking crack.

So, people die and kill each other here very frequently, and not only are their remains visibly on display, their ashes also become sandstorms that make it near impossible to navigate the land; on top of being something that people snort like cocaine to become more energetic and aggressive.

We started fucking wild, dude. This whole thing is pulling no punches.

Though, I do wanna note; I really, really enjoyed the interactions between Smoked Cheese and Golden Cheese. It shows not only how forgiving she is, but how these two have known each other for an incredibly long time, and know each other well. They're incredibly comfortable around each other, despite it all, and despite how brazen and Very Much Not Strategic the queen here can be. I really, really enjoyed them.

Always fun to see a recovering villain do things for good, but in their own unique way that's still not exactly heroic but definitely effective and, at times, very gratifying.

Though I enjoyed all this, there's one thing I wanna talk about above all else.

The star of the show. Note that every single part was enjoyable, of course, and he wouldn't be half as interesting without Golden Cheese Cookie to serve as a parallel, but they've cooked up something special here.

So far, Burning Spice's extent of onscreen appearance is very, very short, but... I don't think I need to tell you that he's already made an impact and a half.

Christ, that's violent. With the sound effects and everything too, god damn. But, I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a pretty superficial source of judgement for this character. It's very very telling of what kind of person he is now, what he's all about, what he's willing to do, what he likes doing, but...

More than anyone else in recent memory, the devil is in the details. So let's look at those details.

Nothing too much so far, other than how much he absolutely loves destruction, but there's already a trend; namely on "Nothing lasts forever. It's as simple as that", "In the end, everything becomes dust.", and "You, too, shall see that destruction is the only way.". There seems to be an infatuation with the natural process of everything fading away, turning to dust and dying out. An entirely honest one, believing that there is just about nothing else to life. These will be important to keep in mind.

Here, we see a bit of his current relationship with his own immortality. He doesn't seem to mind the idea of losing it, finding something that may eventually take him down, but he still takes great pride in it. These lines, in text, seem somewhat miserable (and trust me, they definitely are), but the voicework in just about every language conveys that they are said in a more neutral, even potentially proudly manner. Again, not much on their own, but...

Here's where we get into the fun part.

This. This is the crux of their character. At the start, him and Golden Cheese cookie were more or less the same. Benevolent royalty, close and personal with their subjects. Beloved, and loving.

And then, they lost it all.

One way or another, their kingdoms were lost, reduced to almost nothing. They were overcome by grief, desperate, unable to cope with their loss. One tried to latch on as hard as possible. Preserve what she could, blindly, replacing the harsh truth of reality with an idealized, constructed world, where no one would ever have to know pain ever again. She shut herself off, and retreated in the safety and peace of a false reality. She would rather have lied to both herself and all her subjects than face reality. And eventually, she had to learn to move on. Let herself and her kingdom heal more naturally, facing reality. The other, meanwhile, was desperate to let go. He detached himself, trying to move past the pain of loss. But, of course, he couldn't force it to happen. No one can. And so with the grief of losing that which he held dear, continuing to be faced with the reality that nothing is forever, over and over, while he endured, the world slowly turning to ash around them again and again... It's no wonder something in there eventually cracked.

What will it take to destroy me. Nothing is forever, and yet, I am.

Nothing is forever. And yet, I am.

With time, misery turned to mania, and in an attempt to overcome their grief, they embraced it, in the worst way possible. A coping mechanism gone horrendously wrong. That destruction, that loss, the inevitability of death... It's not painful, no. It doesn't have to be. It can be thrilling. Exhilarating. A new reason to live. If all you care about turns to dust anyways, if that's really the only logical destination... Why not have some fun with it? Why not embody that inevitable, unstoppable force? Why not become what you fear, so you no longer have to be afraid anymore?

... You know, at least that's what I think is going on here. The next chapter could contradict this reading, but... From what all we have right now, it seems like Golden Cheese and Burning Spice are two completely different paths for the exact same type of pain. They are, in a way, the same, but diverge in almost complete opposite ways where it counts.

Spice is genuinely equal parts absolutely terrifying and absolutely miserable; a balance that is incredibly hard to strike in writing, but always absolutely fascinating and wonderful to observe when it happens. I have to say, the more I found out about them, the more I couldn't keep my eyes off everything they have going on.

I'm loving every little bit of this update. Mad props to the devs for cooking something up here that I am genuinely incredibly invested in, almost to the same degree as White Lily and Dark Enchantress. Banger update. Absolute S tier material.

TL;DR: Burning Spice is terrifying, miserable, and ridiculously cool. Everything about this update was an absolute merciless flurry of consecutive gut-punches. And I loved every second of it.

... Now we sit and wait for Shadow Milk's release next year.

[jaydenix]

Miraculous Ladybug is so disappointing to think about - it could have been way better

I probably sound like an NPC at this point but I just need to get across a brief amount of the totality of the thought I've put into this mess of a show

So, Miraculous Ladybug has received a wide array of critique over the years. One of the key reasons for this is the writers overblowing the characters' personalities. Marinette is a commonly cited example of this, it's okay to write a young girl infatuated with a good-looking wealthy boy, but Marinette is obviously not an example of this. To say her obsession with Adrien is unhealthy would be an enormous understatement. We all know what she's like - she's a stalker, knows everything about his routine and everything else, it's genuinely hard to put into words how insane she is without just listing off everything she's done but if you've watched the show you know what I mean. Marinette just goes way too far and the show never challenges her on what is obviously wrong behaviour, it tries to make her seem like she's just a little too boycrazy like isn't she so quirky? But it's just frustrating and wrong. Similarly, Chloe also is just way over the top, she is indisputably abusive to Sabrina, in general treats everyone horribly, and she's only gotten worse since the beginning. Every time she opens her mouth its the same old shit you've heard 1000 times it's bad to begin with but it gets so old very fast. And all the while I'm constantly reminded that show decided so deliberately to miss out on what could have been an awesome redemption arc for her, maybe they'll do that in the later seasons but like I don't have masses of hope + the show should've ended with season 5 but not with fucking GABRIEL getting redeemed are you SERIOUS??? The S5 ending is horrendously bad but that's a story for another time. There's plenty of other issues to like Adrien just... not getting anything to do and other stuff but sufficed to say: MLB has a laundry list of issues that hold it back significantly.

But there's another side to MLB: at times the show has proven that it can take itself seriously, and this is what really gets me. It's few and far between don't get me wrong but in these moments I start to see the MLB that could have been. The one I like the most is at the end of S4E3 - Gang of Secrets, Alya is with Marinette and she finally confesses the truth, that she is Ladybug. This point in the show definitely has a "calm before the storm" kind of vibe, things aren't so bad right now but it feels like it's gonna get really bad sooner or later. Marinette is the new guardian and so the pressure to keep her identity a secret is higher than ever, but she finally breaks. It's a beautiful moment and feels so real and very serious. One of either Marinette or Adrien were gonna break eventually and this felt like the perfect time to do it. MLB really could've been a serious show that had its comedic moments but knew at the right moments when to not mess around, it's disappointing there's not more like this.

[lagomorphics]

Majora's Mask remaster for the Nintendo Switch OLED screen could you please make a relationship chart for your AU's 🥹👉👈

ABSOLUTELY. SMILES. i've only made charts for narigoatlamb / narilamb but at some point i'll probably do some big charts including the bishops and other side characters :)

PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT THOUGH BECAUSE THIS GETS. VERY VERY LONG. because i looove overexplaining myself <3

starting with lucky card!! since i'm still working out everything for how i want these threes dynamics to evolve i only have one version of their relationship </3 but heres my longass ramble on each dynamic:

Ines and Jahel's relationship kinda takes front and center for most of the au, since they're in close proximity most of the time, and they care about eachother A LOT. pre-Ines' deal they were 'friends', and only got closer because of All This Mess. Ines likes the fact they can be themself around Jahel, and Jahel loves Ines for all their snark and charm <3

Ines and Nari spend a lot of time having a very hot n cold relationship. Narinder usually texts Ines and holds the deal over their head to get them to go somewhere or come to the casino for something, which pisses Ines OFF because they like DOING THINGS, NARINDER. Nari has a very hard time being emotional and is practically A Wall, and Ines is. well. the opposite. Ines does think Nari is extremely hot, and (while annoyed) does go along with the deal they have, but it's only really late into things do they actually start to genuinely Fall for Nari. Nari falls first, because Ines' presence starts becoming less of an annoyance and more of something she.. really enjoys. Sorry about the divorce in their future

AND FOR THE MOST STRANGE OF THE BUNCH. HOO BOY. Nari does NOT trust Jahel (for very funny reasons. haha. lmao. lol.) and thinks they're going to ruin everything she has been trying to accomplish. Jahel is doing everything they can to convince her like "hey. i know. i swear i'm not that." but its. a very very slow process. The two probably wouldn't ever be alone with oneanother until like halfway through the plot, where Nari DOES try to kill Jahel. lol. it's fine. I'd say after that they'd start trying to get along a little better. They don't fall in love until post Nari's 'defeat' though

i also included a little funny. Jahel has another connection that they feel very very conflicted about :) wow i wonder who that is. aha. whaat. runs away extremely fast.

SNAH au <33 three lil versions of their dynamic evolving (can you tell i REALLY rotate this au around)

to start off; when Narinder was TOWW, Lambert was VERY infatuated with him, to the point that they kinda convinced themself that despite how much he talks about sacrifice, they would be the exception. To TOWW though, he grew to care about them and admired how vengeful they were, but watched as that vengence slowly cooled and mellowed out, almost resenting it. He always planned to sacrifice them, because to him; what's a greater honour than that? he promised he'd make theirs meaningful, though. Obviously Lambert did not like this in the slightest.

Post-defeat and for the early days of their relationship, Nari just kinda hated them really bad. To him, Lambert took EVERYTHING from him, including his own death. my Nari is.... not the most stable at the start? he struggles a lot mentally, and (if the day ever came) he knew he wanted death to be his end, to not even have That pissed him off. Lambert, however, still has lingering feelings for him, because at the end of the day, Narinder was like a friend to them. he did listen to them, let them spend time with him, gave them advice etc etc... so it hurts a lot to know that a) he was gonna sacrifice them (they are very pissed off about that still) and b) he is actively making everything difficult. it does not help that Nari is able to read minds and can use magic, hes causing problems and its stressing them out </3

they do eventually get to a point of being friendly though!

AND THE LAST ONE. so in SNAH, Nari DOES die at a specific point (lol), and it is an extremely rough time for both of them because Narinder realises Oh actually. i dont want to die. and his time in the afterlife is horrible, and Lambert is freaking the hell out because Holy shit. Hes dead. Oh my god. They actually personally go and retrieve his soul because the last thing they wanted was to potentially fail the resurrection ritual, but after all that happens they both just... grow closer. Narinder realises that Lambert cares about him so much, always reaches out for him and is ready to catch him at any moment. He realises he does still care about them, and he also starts to appreciate mortal life and everything way more. what dying does to a mf.

Nari dying also made Lambert realise their infatuation HAD changed into being genuine love and care, and also it hurt really bad to see him like that. it also helped them connect better to the domain they now rule over, and just... they realise that they never want to see him hurting like that again. they really do love him and want him by their side, if he wants that too. (they get. way better at Being Normal about their own emotions)

AH!!! AGH!!! (BLOWS UP)

[m0e-ru]

i know your blog mainly focuses on more of the “side characters” (?) from p4 but i was curious if you had a favorite member of the investigation team? :3

side characters AHAHAUAHAA i like that theyre to the side because it makes it less pressuring to think about them compared to like an izanagillion piranhas infesting a lake about a more popular character. maybe that's why I'm repellant to them <- ??????

anyway I love risegirl from the bottom of my heart I want to brush her bangs and kiss her exposed forehead and tell her she's doing amazing and we hold hands and run around in a circle lalalalala. I don't have any pictures but shes just so sweet to me.

her idol life and masking 24/7 absolutely crushing her I'm glad she made the decision to bail and actually chill for a while a be herself with people that love her, instead of trucking on and breaking herself like other poor child idols. she has the strength to let people into her life and know that they'll accept her back. it's absolutely astounding to me that she can be so cheerful and hype up others to be their best even after everything she's been through, or maybe that's where she got her willpower in the first place. her ambitions for being an entertainer are genuine as she just wants to make little girls like she once was, and still is, be the best that they can be.

the competition and drama in the entertainment industry is predatory, but I'm also so happy she can bond and be friends with kanami and the rest of the kitchen girls, despite the rivalry being forced on poor middle school scouted idol kids.

it's so fascinating to me how she has a navigator persona, a support persona. along with her endearing and cute nature, she's keen on reading people and reacting accordingly. of course, you can't blame her for her shit reactions, with naoto most notably, because she's literally going through puberty I mean she just turned 16 cmon guys cut her some slack. she can raise people's spirit whether or not she's in her idol persona because that's her power as Rise Kujikawa, that's just the kind of person she is.

she's free to express her feelings, whether her excitement, her playful infatuation with bancho, push her boundaries when shes unsettled and needs space, being angry or annoyed or stressed, and even crying tears nowhere near crocodile tears. she's a very genuine girl and a very genuine teenager of her age. she regulates her emotions accordingly, whether or not she actually does, but it makes her feel real in that regard. there are things she'll regret once she's older but I'm glad she's living and thriving the way she's supposed to: freely—despite her working as an idol.

speaking of genuine, I love her quirks. her laugh is so cute and the way she squeals is adorable, in the english or jp dub, so props to both voice actors. she's pretty athletic, being a great dancer with enough stamina to sing along. but she's kind of shit at songwriting, with that one flavor text I thought was funny. she spends her free time outside her classroom looking at the fire alarm, tempted to ring it. she knows so much about tofu and walks around the shopping district in her apron when business is slow. she goes to remedial with kanji during the summer because their autism lies in doing vocal exercises and crocheting NAWT the pythagorean theorem.

don't get me started with her beef with marie because I think it's the cutest and most hilarious thing ever. imagine you're the labeled tsundere of the cast but your category 9 autism transfers all your tsundereism to the girl behind you. marie is hot and cold about her feelings, just being embarrassed when she puts her guard down in front of bancho usually. but she's a curious and impressionable girl, so when margaret insults the girl on TV, Marie's just going to parrot that and rise starts pouting about it "that's not how the slogan goes!!" But when bancho's out of the picture, they can be normal girl friends, eating desserts and styling outfits for each other and singing duets. hell, in pq, theodore makes a lame haiku and marie and rise giggle in unison. well, maybe rise isn't a tsundere in these cases, but her seiyuu Rie Kugimiya is known for voicing tsundere roles, some I'm already familiar with, so it's funny hearing her in her element.

I could keep going on how I love risegirl but I'm going to sleeo goodnight I love girls

[eddiegettingshot]

So I didn't really want to post this anywhere because some people got very protective of Buck/Tommy very fast and don't like it when people disagree (which is fine I guess, I also like my own opinions better than those of others) but I need to get it out. I admit it. I don't really feel Buck and Tommy together. Or, I see Buck being into him, at least while he's not talking about Eddie instead, but I don't see it with Tommy. In both ep.4 and 5 he just seems more amused with Buck than attrackted. For example, to me it felt like he was more, nodding along with a very eager Buck and then brightens up when Eddie shows up in ep.4. And then he takes Eddie on a helicopter ride to a sold out fight, hangs out with him a lot and meanwhile doesn't invite Buck to anything.

(And then there's the fact that Buck seemed way more worried about not having told Eddie that it was a date than about ruining the date with the guy that he was so much into that he injured his best friend to get his attention)

I feel like this story could have worked so much better if it would have been Eddie's.

...or maybe Tommy just enjoys to help babygays and bis figure out their shit in his spare time.

(Or maybe the problem is that Buck's whole behavior in ep.4 and 5 just doesn't feel very attractive to me)

I don't know, I just can't really get into it, and I know it's only been 2 episodes, but the fandom seems to be 10 steps ahead of me and back here I still don't see why this should go better than any of Buck's previous relationships. I'll stop now, sorry.

no, listen, i think there are WAY more people than you'd expect who are thinking exact same thing as you but don't want to rain on anyone's parade. so don't worry about it, i am here to be the resident storm cloud lmao.

i genuinely don't see it either - there is nothing in 7x04 barring the end scene where tommy indicates that he's ever been interested in getting to know buck (imo). even in 7x05, i fucking CRINGED when he called him "adorable" because it continued to be in line with the whole, "i'll treat eddie like a peer, but i don't think you're quite on my level" feeling i've been getting from him the whole time. i'm also incredibly baffled by tommy's choices in 7x05. if i had to cut a date short with someone because they were still so insecure in their sexuality that they impulsively suggested to someone they knew that i was also heterosexual, and then they called me up a week later to be like, hey i still like you do you want to come to my sister's wedding and meet my whole family + people i'm not out to yet even though we just talked about how we don't know each other and also remember our disaster date? WHO WOULD SAY YES TO THAT? maybe buck wouldn't have, but why didn't TOMMY ask to take it slow? that would have been good for buck! (i know why. because he needs to be at the wedding. For The Plot.)

i 100%, absolutely AM convinced of buck's infatuation with this guy, i understand how it ties in with his bi awakening and it's also par for the course for him. i get that. i am not convinced that the actual relationship between buck and tommy - what we are actually seeing on screen - is all that great. buck isn't handling this any differently from the way he's handled any other relationship. i still don't really see the chemistry between them even though lou ferrigno jr. seems to be acting his ass off. i like tommy! but buck and tommy together make even less sense to me than they did before. i don't like the circumstances of their relationship and i don't think buck needs to be in a(nother) situation where someone could get VERY, VERY hurt by the potential fallout of him trying to figure his feelings out. especially when we're talking about a character who has, apparently, already struggled in the past. this could have been remedied by them taking things slow and casual!

meanwhile, eddie's response to FINDING OUT that tommy is gay WITHOUT TOMMY EVEN BEING IN THE ROOM felt way more like Something AND IT WASN'T EVEN ON PURPOSE (?!) i get it. i understand why we don't have eddietommy and it's out of anyone's hands. but no i don't think you're obligated to be super into this ship by any means, just like no one is obligated to dislike it!

[misslavenderlady]

Love at First Bite pt. 2💞

David/Female!OC & Male!OC/Female!OC

Summary: Sis can't stop thinking about the adorable redheaded waiter that treated her like the queen she is. Once she and the pack get to know him a little better, he'll see them for what they truly are~

This was inspired by @ghoulgeousimmaculate and her characters from the series Party the Pain Away and the various fics that take place afterwards. Ghoulie and I discussed the possibility of having another boy join the coven after so many girls were brought in. Please read part 1 if you haven't yet!

WARNINGS: Fic contains mentions of fear, emotional manipulation, power dynamics, toxic relationship dynamics, PDA, mentions of blood/murder, sex and alcohol. This has references to Ghoulie's stuff, and takes place in the modern world, not 1987. Part 3 HERE

"You're serious?" 

"Absolutely! You should have seen him, hun. He was the cutest thing I've ever laid eyes on"

It gave Gem quite a surprise to see her sister bride in such a cheery mood. After the last few difficult months for the pack, she had been worried about Sis and her psyche facing permanent damage. Becoming a vampire came with its own mental and physical tolls. What Cyrus had put them all through was an entirely new level of suffering.

And yet, here she was. All doe-eyed and sappy like a schoolgirl with a crush. The happiest she had been since her resurrection. Usually only being with her babies made Sis act like herself again. This human boy had to be pretty special.

"And you don't want to bring him over for a fuck and a meal?"

"Surprisingly, I don't. At least….not right now," Sis explained. She smiled to herself as she fell back onto the couch, putting her feet up on Gem's lap to relax. "I dunno, he was just such a sweet guy. Genuine, polite, doting. You don't see many boys like that anymore." 

Gem smirked, rubbing her queen's legs as she listened to the story. Seeing her in such a good mood had Gem feel quite pleased as well. It made her quite curious as to what potential could be in a human. 

"Well, we are due for a girl's night out. How about we ask the boys to watch the babies and then you, me, Babydoll and Red go out for some fun," Gem proposed. "You can introduce us to the human."

The mere idea made Sis' eyes sparkle in delight. She was already excited to pick out her outfit for such a special occasion. Something truly special for a well-deserved night of fun.

Oliver's shift honestly could have been better that night. He was out of the zone. Forgetting to put in a large order, giving three different tables the wrong drinks, and getting yelled at by an elderly couple for having the audacity to forget their senior discount. He felt so clumsy and careless. It was rather embarrassing. 

What didn't help was that his coworkers were noticing. They had been in the game long enough to recognize when one of their fellow servers was having a rough night. 

"Hey Ollie!" one server greeted him, making small talk while punching in an order. "You feeling alright? Need a smoke break?"

"No thank you, I don't smoke," Oliver explained as he tried to organize a messy stack of menus. "And I'm fine. I just…my mind hasn't been where I want it to be lately. I'm not usually like this, I swear."

The server smiled and gave Oliver a friendly pat on the back. He definitely had nights like that too. 

"Something on your mind?"

"Well….someone actually."

Oliver knew exactly what was making him trip over himself and act like his head was in the clouds. 

Sis. He could not stop thinking about her. Though he was grateful for her generosity when she paid him a large enough tip to pay his rent that month, that wasn't at all the reason he had such a deep infatuation. 

She had this magic to her. Like an aura of true beauty. Though her curves and her flawless looks definitely showed how stunning she was on the outside, Oliver had a deep feeling that there was something truly remarkable about her on the inside too. 

Growing up, he was taught that you could learn a lot about a person just by how they treated a stranger. Especially if that stranger was a poor, struggling service worker. The world wasn't always kind to people who had a difficult life. 

He didn't know what it was about her, but he just had a feeling she understood him. That she knew compassion could go a long way.

"Well, Romeo, you might wanna get your head back in the game," the server interrupted his thoughts. "You got company."

"Salve signore! Right this way!"

Giuseppe had welcomed a group of ladies into the restaurant, ushering them to the back area just as he did the other night for David and Sis. 

And speaking of which. The lady at the head of the pack was a familiar one. It was her. 

Sis.

Once again she was all glammed up from head to toe, though instead of being out on a date with her husband, she seemed to be enjoying a girls' night out. The three other ladies that walked past the curtain were all quite stunning in their own ways, but he couldn’t take his eye off of Sis. 

His staring must not have been as subtle as he hoped it would be, because while the other girls made their way to the back, Sis stopped in her tracks, glancing his way. Oliver stood as still as a statue, not sure exactly what to do in terms of movement. 

Thankfully, he didn't have to stay like that for very long. To his utter joy, a smile formed across her beautiful face, showing off her perfect pearly whites. Sis crooked her finger, beckoning him in a come hither motion before disappearing behind the dark curtain. To say she enchanted Oliver was quite an understatement. 

Instead of standing around, Oliver hustled to get enough silverware and menus for four ladies. He'd never been more eager to work in his life. 

"Hello again~" Sis greeted Oliver with a purr as he entered the private area. "I was hoping you'd be here again tonight."

"Oh? You were?" Oliver asked, feeling his heartbeat ramp up in speed. "Well, I'm really glad to see you again too, Miss!"

The gaggle of ladies all shared a round of playful giggling, like schoolgirls with a secret. 

"Awww! You weren't kidding! He's a total sweetie pie!" a fellow redhead chirped. 

"So you're the famous Oliver," a brunette with green eyes commented. "Sis has told us so much about you!"

Oliver would be lying if he said he wasn't flattered by that. His stomach was practically doing backflips with the amount of butterflies he was feeling. He wasn't used to such compliments. 

"O-Oh! Well, I'm very honored," he smiled. "It's really nice to meet you all!"

His words trailed off after his greeting. He wasn't sure how to get the right words out in order to ask for their names as well, but they all seemed to get the hint as to what he wanted to say.

"Gem."

"Red."

"Babydoll!"

They all have such different names. Very….creative, Oliver thought to himself. It must be a California thing!

He finally felt comfortable enough to perform his job properly once the introductions were done. As per Sis' request, he brought back the same brand of Chardonnay he got her the last time she was there. This time, he was determined not to spill any on their gorgeous outfits. When each glass was equally filled, the girls all clinked their drinks to share a toast. 

Oliver put in the same energy when he took their orders. Each lady knew exactly what they wanted, and they cooed at him to hurry back since they'd miss him. It put quite a dopey smile on his boyish face. 

Little did he know that his coworkers were watching him with a look of dread in the corners of the restaurant. They all knew the secrets that Sis and her lovers shared. Oliver wasn't ready to see the deadlier side of the brown-eyed beauty. 

"You really are too good to us, Ollie," Sis complimented the redhead boy when he set all their entrees down. Even with a table completely covered in the finest Italian cuisine imaginable, she kept her gaze fully locked on him. 

Almost like he was the one she found to be the most delicious. 

"It's nothing, really! I'm just happy to make up for my wine snafu from last time." 

"Speaking of wine," Gem spoke up, taking Sis' chin in between her manicured figures and tilting them in her own direction. "I wanna see if I can taste the Chardonnay on your lips, hun~"

Oliver only got to ponder what she meant for a mere second before getting a shocking answer. Gem pulled her into a deep kiss, moaning softly as both pairs of plush lips pressed together. Without much influence, Sis immediately melted into it, smiling and wrapping her arms around her lady friend. 

His green eyes were practically bulging out of his head as the two of them began passionately making out just a mere foot in front of him. Oliver turned towards Red and Babydoll to see if they were just as surprised, but found instead they were looking at him as if he were the odd one. They raised their eyebrows up at him, curious at his gawking. 

Perhaps it wasn’t the right time to stick around and just stare with an open mouth like a codfish.

“Y-You ladies enjoy! I’ll be back later!”

Oliver practically kicked up dust behind him from how fast he got out of the private dining section. He had already seen Sis get rather intimate in the restaurant already. But he hadn’t expected to see it between her and someone other than her husband. 

Flashbacks of the last time when she made flirty gestures at him while literally riding David were coming back to him. He didn’t understand the behavior fully, but what he was absolutely certain about was how stunning she was. So confident, so beautiful, always knowing exactly what she wanted, yet still showing gratitude when she got it. 

It made him ever so curious about whether he truly had a chance with a woman like that. Compared to people like David and Gem? Fat chance, he thought to himself. 

Time passed by, and the night was finally winding down. Oliver and his coworkers had split their tips, cleaned up the restaurant, and helped set up for what they needed the next day. In between his tasks, he had stopped in to check on Sis and her friends. They had long since cleared their plates and finished the last sips in their glasses. Yet they seemed to want to stay a bit longer and enjoy some girl time.

So long as it was okay with Giuseppe, Oliver let them be. 

By the time everyone else had clocked out and left, he popped his head in one last time to check on them. To his surprise, the three beauties that had come along for the night had already made their leave at some point earlier while he was cleaning up. The one that remained was Sis, sitting pretty in the booth with her fingers intertwined, allowing her chin a place to rest. 

She was smiling at him again, a twinkle in her eye as she gestured to the chair placed across from her.

“Care to help me finish off this bottle?” she asked. There wasn’t much left in the second bottle of Chardonnay he had delivered earlier that night, but it was just enough for the two of them to have a little taste. Half a drink wouldn’t kill him. 

“Where are the others?” he casually asked as he sat down.

“Oh, they’re outside. Just having a smoke and texting the hubbies.”

Hearing her say that reminded Oliver of David once again. He really wasn’t one to pry, but the curiosity to ask about what kind of relationship Sis had with them all was still there. He would have kept his mouth shut about it if she hadn’t seemed to read his mind on her own. 

She pulled her phone out from her purse, maneuvering around the screen until she found what she wanted. Flipping the device around, Sis showed him some pictures of her with various people. Some he recognized, some were unfamiliar faces.

“In case you were wondering, I’m polyamorous. We all are,” she explained. “You’ve met David already. Those three boys are my other husbands. Marko, Dwayne and Paul.”

I didn’t even know you could be married to multiple people in California, Oliver thought to himself. In the first picture, four incredibly handsome men surrounded Sis. Being pansexual himself, Oliver found himself practically swooning at how perfect-looking they all were. As much as he wished to look as hunky as them, he couldn’t blame her for finding all of them attractive. 

“They have their own partners too. Some of which I get to date too,” she said, swiping at the screen to show more pictures. 

Babydoll being carried by Dwayne, a pregnant Red being held from the back by Marko, Gem and Paul flashing peace signs at the camera, and many more. So many other beautiful ladies were in the arms of these men. It was as if fate had brought the most attractive people in the world together. 

“So the other night when you said your ‘girlfriends’, you weren’t just talking about besties, huh?” Oliver playfully commented. To his delight, Sis giggled at him, thoroughly amused. He loved the sound of her laugh. It was as beautiful as her.

“That’s right! And we all have our own families too,” she explained. She pointed out the various babies that various couples had together. Oliver’s heart was melting at the pictures of chubby-cheeked infants with gummy smiles. 

One of the final pictures that Sis showed off was a family portrait with her, David, and three little ones. He listened with deep focus as she told the story of her family. 

“Laddie is the oldest. I adopted him with Dwayne way back when. He’s also the best big brother to all the others,” she cooed. “The little girl is Eva. My angel on Earth. Her name was inspired by my mother. And that’s Evan. Little mama’s boy in the making, that one.”

“You have a beautiful family, Sis,” Oliver complimented her as he handed back the phone. “I can just tell you’ve got a lot of love for those babies.”

Sis sighed in content, taking a swig of her wine. 

“I really do. I don’t know what I’d do without them��.” 

Though talking about her children seemed to bring her great joy, Oliver couldn’t help but notice there was a lingering sadness in her eyes when she pondered the possibility of life without them. As if that very thing almost happened. 

Oliver smiled sympathetically, allowing her to see that he genuinely cared about what she was going through.

“Well….if you ever want to talk about them or anything else on your mind, I’m a good listener! Honest!”

“Thank you, Oliver,” Sis said. She reached out her hand, taking hold of his and giving it a soft squeeze. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

While puffing away on their cigarettes, the three girls kept their eyes peeled for anyone that would possibly cause trouble. The vampires were always on their highest guard whenever they were out with the queen. Ever since the gruesome night of the beheading, they couldn’t risk being too careful.

There was always someone out there wanting to dethrone the vampire king and queen of Santa Carla. They would be damned if they’d let such a thing happen again. 

Sis never wanted to leave the cave alone. She wanted a minimum of two mates by her side, one to watch her front, and one to watch her back. The mere idea of dying again put the fear of God in her. She wasn’t ready to go, especially when her babies needed her to get by in this cruel, cold world. 

But something was different. New. There was a sense of hope for her now. Someone kind and gentle and ready to care for her every need. The girls saw quite a lot of potential in Oliver. He was a soft boy and a bit too innocent for the life of a vampire, but he made Sis feel safe again. Like she could live her undead life to the fullest. 

But it was up to the king about what they would do next.

“So, she really does like him, huh?” David asked, sharing a video call with the three brides. 

“She must since she’s been the calmest I’ve ever seen since….you know,” Gem explained. 

David tilted his head in wonder as he thought things over. For years now, he and his brothers had collected quite a few brides to have and to hold until the end of time. Each one shaped to their liking and trained to not run away. They all embraced their vampire nature and were loyal as could be.

He hadn’t considered the possibility of adding a groom for the queen. 

“I need more time,” he said. “I still hold a lot of pain from what Michael did to me. To our family. Keep an eye on Oliver for me. I’ll stop by during some dates or send one of the boys along. Really make sure he’s right for Sis.”

“You got it,” Red chirped.

“What happens if he gets your approval?” Babydoll asked.

David’s lips pulled back, a devilish smirk stuck on his handsome face. The gears were already turning quite a bit in his evil head.

“Then we bring him home for training. The little wife needs a pet after all~”

end of part 2

Tag List: @ghoulgeousimmaculate @vampirefilmlover @aairadaebak @thelostone91 @palomam18 @crustyboypix @themarginalthinker @britany1997 @michael-after-hours @6lostgirl6 @kurt-nightcrawler @bezinful @legal-lost-boy @american-idiot-jpg @desoolate @oceansrose2002 @bloodywickedvamp @vigdys @charlizekkelly @crustyraccoon

[eldritch-spouse]

Brenti may be an abomination but he’s SO interesting as a character. I love that we get to ask the questions you’ve already answered about breg and santi and get different answers. What kind of yandere is he? What’s his personality like? How does he meet the reader?

[Christ, hold on hold on-]

What type of yandere is he?

Brenti is just as delusional as Breg is, but instead of being oblivious and relying on cheesy depictions of love made by humans, he adopts Hell's models of love and relationships. Which can be brutally different.

Neither Breg nor Santi are very bright, but Santi has a certain type of street smarts and cunning Breg lacks, and Brenti retains that. What ends up happening is that Brenti passes as a poor ignorant monster that doesn't know much about civilized human living, when he's in fact much more informed than he lets on and is passing himself off that way deliberately to lower your guard.

He can be seen as a dedicated, openly perverted, confident yandere. However, Brenti ends up coming off as if his intentions are a lot more nefarious than they actually are, and he handicaps you early on.

Brenti's ideas of flattery and courtship are a lot more depraved than you're ready for. He has less tact than Santi, so he truly believes telling you how hard you make him and that he'd fill you everyday are genuine, wholesome displays of love and you'll be charmed by him. He's definitely the type to give you "tributes".

How do you meet him?

He's not a fugitive from a breeder facility, and he was conceived (more like cursed to existence) in Hell, but he's been in and out of the surface ever since adulthood- Although he never truly adapted to it, in spite of his fascination. Brenti is in love with certain aspects of human living, and he wants to add a filthy little twist to them, which society won't allow. So he ends up being inappropriate in his half-hearted attempts to fit in, resulting in him getting shunned out of various locations, rinse and repeat until he stumbles upon your general living area.

A lot of things can spark Brenti's infatuation. Maybe a mix of delicious-smelling lust and a genuine desire to help him when he seems lost, he finds you irresistible, immediately expending as much magic as he needs to keep you enraptured with him for as long as he can milk the encounter. It's utterly obvious early on that he's salivating after you, and though his charm is clumsy from overexcitement, Brenti manages to basically steal an entire evening with you.

Cumbrain that he is, he was thinking of fucking you in the nearest convenient surface, but that's gotten him in trouble way too many times, and he's determined to not be driven away from you too easily. It physically pains him to end the encounter without even getting his fingers on you, and he's going to need to relieve himself, but that's a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, everything else goes downhill.

See, much like Breg, this loser creeps into your living space far too easily. Except these episodes are now a lot more detrimental to you. The first thing Brenti does is slap his mark on your body. You may wake up with the pain of it being branded onto your mons, but unfortunately, your face is being pressed hard to the pillow, masking your startled scream as a monster much stronger than you keeps you still with his weight, gently shushing you and grinding two dribbling cocks on your ass. Blunt force makes you pass out.

Maybe you know what the faded thing in your lower half is, maybe you don't, but it's there now. You've already lost.

Every night after that one is spent having wildly erotic dreams while Brenti trains your unconscious body to respond to him, just like it should. He rubs his own seed on your skin before he leaves, causing you to wake up in the middle of the night in fits of feverish lust, longing for something very specific but not being able to place what. You spend your days in a state of bothersome sexual frustration, to the point where it'll start getting in the way of your routines and causing you to lose functionality.

Brenti starts showing up more often around you when you're practically dripping senselessly with desire. It's only a matter of time until you invite him over, he believes.

You'll realize how you've been betrayed when you see the faint mark on your mons become more pronounced the moment you come around his cock, looking up at the blissed out face of the monster who's to blame for all of this...

Personality

While still somewhat socially awkward, the concubus side will translate that demeanor into an oftentimes charming quality of his.

Brenti has his moments of total charm and temptation, but they're not a constant act like Santi's. In fact, he's a lot more genuine than most concubi, which is something you may end up valuing in the long run, even if it means you're often privy to information you don't want.

In a strange way, he's more open to sharing you than Breg ever was but not to Santi's degree. Brenti only has eyes for you, he craves to pleasure you in every way possible, so he's surprisingly okay with letting others worship you. But only that. He's always in control of these encounters and doesn't really seek to fuck the other person, he's more focused on making sure they get you to cum your brains out.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Hello!!! :D Hope you've been having a nice day so far! 💖

For whe writers truth & dare ask game: 🍓🥤🦷🏜️🥐

hi!!!! you too!!!!! it's been pretty uneventful for me lol.

thanks for the ask!!

heres the ask game if anyone wants to see it.

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

It was elementary school. 5th grade or so, but I was deeply invested in TMNT 2012 with a few of my friends. We would all talk about it, and at one point I wrote a little story in my notebook by hand without knowing what it was called about the show (its long since lost in a flood that happened years ago rip) but I found ff.net months later because I had two infatuations. TMNT 2012 and the original teen titans. I even remember reading fanfic on deviantart. I was really big into April and Donnie and Beast Boy and Raven. I didn't start posting anything until my Wattpad days around 14-16. That was about bandom, Pitch Perfect, then Citrus (I have made bad choices and I meme on myself now but I was JUST THAT STARVED for wlw ships.) Anyway wattpad account got deleted and there was a whole thing where my email got hacked and everything just is gone. (its really soulcrushing to lose work like that). But yeah!! I got back into fanfic during 2020 and the pandemic because I had watched a movie and just decided to write for it. I don't recommend reading anything of that era because it's cringe and just... no.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIEND GHOST!!!! @localowlhousefanatic. THEIR WORK IS AWESOME AND THEY WRITE SOME AMAZING VEESHA STUFF. ALSO SHOUT OUT TO @witch128chick!!!

Can I give multiple fanfics I love though?? I can't add everyone due to time but I'll give a couple.

TOH:

1.) learning how to be (with you by my side) by uniqueusernamegenerator (<- THIS is my favorite toh fanfic) 2.) I’ll Catch You by Black_Cat_Autumn 3.) all i got is my heart (and my pride) 4.) warm coffee, summer blues by uniqueusernamegenerator 5.) "I love you," ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? by kfaerie 6.) The Rest is History by amityadmirer for Shannon_shannon_shannon 7.) No Tip Necessary by Rohad 8.) i want you to be here (but please don’t come near) by stongrays 9.) Tallmity and Petite Luz future au by the_Shan_yousee 10.) You're My Rainbow in the Dark (HAITUS) by Underw0rld

Arcane: 1.)the oldest game by thehaakun 2.) the heart is a bullet by thehaakun 3.) The World Ends, Or Doesn't by Misthios 4.) how big, how blue (how beautiful) by panglosian

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Story sprints are a godsend. Also plotting helps alongside voice memos. I don't really have someone to bounce ideas off of but it helps me to verbalize what I'm thinking if I'm stuck so sometimes I talk through what I'm thinking aloud. Also making playlists or mood boards/collages of character outfits. Just giving you a more visual aspect of what you want to write.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Just genuine praise of my work feels nice. I don't get comments often. Sometimes they give me anxiety too. Maybe if you have any pointers of my fic to say something like that??

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

FOG HORN SOUND EFFECT. SORRY BUT IT CRACKS ME UP.

[the-kuzusouda-hideyhole]

Who Would Confess First? – a very long and rambly infodump

So. Love confessions. They're one of my favourite things to think, read and write about when it comes to my ships, and Kuzusouda is no exception. Lately I've been thinking about who'd be more likely to make the first move, and I've come to the conclusion that it'd probably depend on which point of the canon we're at. I feel like pre-despair (or non-despair if we're going the AU route; this includes things like Danganronpa S and the Talent Development Plan), mid-killing game and post-canon are all very different points in time, thus all the SDR2 characters would have noticeably different worldviews, experiences and priorities in each time period. And this can even inform things like confessing your feelings to your crush.

Let's go into that in more detail.

Pre-Despair/Non-Despair

I think Fuyuhiko would confess first.

Now hear me out – I know there's that whole thing with the yakuza and him needing to continue the bloodline and all that. I do think that he'd sit on his feelings for a good while before making any moves, both to see if they'd go away on their own and because he just doesn't like having to talk about his feelings if he can help it. That being said, if his feelings persist long enough and/or grow too intense, he'd rather just get them out there before they eat him out from the inside or ruin his friendship with Kazuichi. Assuming that he and Kazuichi have grown close enough to be able to talk about anything with each other – which they likely would've for Fuyuhiko to catch feelings for him in the first place – I figure that Fuyuhiko would feel pretty awful about hiding something like this from him. He'd confess not because he wants or expects Kazuichi to feel the same way or begin a relationship with him, but rather to get it out there so that he can begin to move on and really focus on what matters most to him. This confession could also double as a queer coming-out, and to Fuyuhiko, that could be the real test on whether Kazuichi is really a friend worth keeping around.

Now, it's not impossible for Kazuichi to be the one confessing in this time period, but I do find it unlikely because of his past experiences with losing friends. Kazuichi would probably be kinda clingy with Fuyuhiko, and very, very careful not to do anything that could damage their friendship. Kazuichi doesn't know how Fuyuhiko might respond to a love confession from him, and he likely doesn't even know how Fuyuhiko feels about LGBT+ people. To him, the best way to deal with his crush is to fake it until he makes it, basically. This might include playing up his infatuation with Sonia long after those feelings for her have vanished – if they'd ever existed in the first place.

During the Killing Game

Compared to a pre-despair or non-despair setting, the dynamics between Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi are a little different. They have good reason to distrust each other now, especially early on, and the progression of their friendship would be faster (keep in mind that the KG lasts a couple of weeks in-universe) but a little rockier. Keep in mind that they don't remember anything about their time at Hope's Peak, so whatever might've happened back then doesn't really matter for the most part.

With this change in dynamics and circumstances in mind, I actually think Kazuichi would be more likely to break the ice.

A major part of Kazuichi's character in SDR2 is his crush on Sonia. Indeed, being trapped in a killing game and fearing for his life every single day doesn't stop him from not only getting attached to Sonia, but being very open about his crush to the point of making her uncomfortable. While this crush was very much present pre-despair as well, you could argue that here, it is, in part, a coping mechanism and an attempt to distract himself from the reality of his and his classmates' situation.

If Kazuichi were to then develop feelings for Fuyuhiko – genuine feelings for someone he actually knows beyond a surface level – then he might eventually confess to Fuyuhiko in the hopes that they can get into a relationship and he can have something to distract himself from all the death and despair. It's not a good or healthy reason to ask someone out, but 1. Kazuichi is a hormonal teenage boy, 2. he's literally stuck in a life or death situation and 3. he's already not one to think things through very well and the killing game is likely making that worse. I figure that he'd still be kind of clingy to Fuyuhiko and anxious about how his crush would affect their friendship, but since their friendship here wouldn't have been as much of a "slow burn" as it was pre-despair, and there's a very real chance Fuyuhiko will die anyway... well, it's not really as much of an issue here.

Fuyuhiko would be the opposite. I think he'd swallow down his feelings no matter what because he's in a killing game and he knows that his #1 priority is to get out of there before anyone else dies. I feel like he'd find it pretty silly to focus so much on high school romance drama in such a dire situation. Besides, the dude's just lost two of the most important people in his life. He's gonna be sore about that for awhile no matter how much he tries to move on and be strong for them.

Post-Canon

I always like to say that a post-canon setting is actually the best place for Kuzusouda to succeed long-term, because by that point they've known each other for a good while, they've been through a lot together, and, provided that a lot of time has passed and they're both in a healthier headspace, there's nothing stopping them from being together. It's for this reason that I believe that, in this setting, both are equally likely to make the first move.

Inevitably, the former Remnants of Despair will have to start thinking about romantic relationships at some point. Problem is, given that they're to be isolated from the outside world for the rest of their lives, their dating pool is... not very big, to say the least. On the flip side, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi are now in a position where, if they were to ask the other out, they wouldn't have anything to lose.

Possibly the biggest hindrance to Kuzusouda succeeding in a non-despair setting is the Kuzuryuu Clan. Fuyuhiko needs to continue the bloodline as the up-and-coming heir, and he can't do that when he's with a man. He's spent his entire life working up to this point, too; he's not gonna throw all that away for Kazuichi so easily. Here, the Kuzuryuu Clan is long gone, and Fuyuhiko's future is nothing like how he'd envisioned it. His entire life has changed in a very drastic way, and, again, he needs a lot of time to come to terms with that, just like everyone else. Once he does, however, he'd realise that now, he has the freedom to love whomever his heart desires. In time, he'd come to accept a relationship with Kazuichi as part of his happy future on Jabberwock Island.

As for Kazuichi, I figure he'd go through a lot more character development here than he ever really did in the game proper. If he sought comfort and escape during the killing game, then this is the point where he'd have no choice but to face reality. Nothing about his life is normal anymore, and he has an immense amount of trauma to work through. As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and although Kazuichi would probably have a harder time overcoming his hardships than most of his companions, he'd likely come out of the other side as a much more mature person. He'd confess to Fuyuhiko if Fuyuhiko doesn't confess to him first, not to distract himself or satisfy his hormones, but out of genuine love and care for Fuyuhiko, because he wants a future where Fuyuhiko will always be at his side.

What About Island Mode?

Island Mode is more of a canon divergence than a full-fledged non-despair AU, given that the only thing that's really changed is that there's no killing game. We, the audience, know full well that these characters are the Remnants of Despair and that they're in a simulation designed to rehabilitate them, but as far as the characters are concerned, they're meeting each other for the first time on a fun school trip. The Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko we see here are pretty much the same Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko we see pre-despair or in a proper non-despair AU, so my headcanons for those settings would apply here as well.

That's All, Folks!

Thank you for reading this long-ass infodump, I hope you enjoyed it 🩷💛

[chaiiitealeaves]

look i've tried my best not to go absolutely insane about good omens s2 but that has failed miserably and here i am. i just. heres a massive rant mainly about aziraphale. (good omens s2 ep6 spoilers)

i am such a firm believer that there is no theorising to be had with the ending, regarding why aziraphale did what he did. there's nothing you can say. it was totally in character for aziraphale, and it was totally in character for crowley. it made so much sense and THAT is why it hurt; i just cannot for a second outsource aziraphales responsibility to the metatron or anyone else.

the metatron didn't coerce aziraphale - he didn't have to. aziraphale just jumped at the opportunity to 'fix' things. things, however, do not mean crowley. i mean, i'm sure this opinion has been BEATEN TO DEATH by now, but i'd still like to get it out there.

aziraphale tends to pick up very well on verbal communication, but not very well on non-verbal communication. aziraphale will always listen to crowley's outbursts (such as, calling crowley nice, and being pinned violently to a wall because of it), and will not take it personally. he listens, regardless of tone, and seems to understand crowley better through his verbal responses. that obviously isn't to say they ever communicate, THEY DON'T, but aziraphale is still better at verbal cues than non-verbal ones. aziraphale can never anticipate crowley's actions, however, and we see this with job's children. aziraphale was genuinely unsure of what crowley would do. with crowley, it seems to be the exact opposite. he anticipates aziraphale - he knows that aziraphale is going to like food before he's even tried it, he knows exactly how to coerce aziraphale to help stop armageddon in the first series/book because he knows exactly what aziraphale likes and cares about.

i think that communication difference is exactly why the end hurt so much. aziraphale - and i will die on this hill - must've firmly believed that crowley was going to be happy with the news. and so, he was totally lost when crowley responded poorly. and i mean, aziraphale knew IMMEDIATELY that crowley had responded poorly, he just thought that he had to explain his point better. aziraphale just wasn't able to pick up on the true reason for that very obvious, deep hatred for heaven that crowley has. his angelic ball of thoughts that we liken to a brain is telling him that not that crowley hates heaven because it's corrupt, but that crowley hates heaven because he was CAST OUT. it's a misinterpretation built on 6000+ years of no real communication.

aziraphale wanted to fix heaven for crowley, he didn't want to fix crowley for heaven. and yet, that's exactly how it came across. and because neither of them talk, crowley was taking aziraphale's words in his own (wrong) way, and aziraphale was taking crowley's reactions as 'not understanding'. honestly, aziraphale's overeager want to make things 'good' and 'right' again is what makes. every word he speaks is hypocrisy, because he's not speaking for a principle, he's speaking to try and convince someone. that's why we get such extreme statements from him: "you could be an angel again" is just an echo of "nothing lasts forever" - he is so insanely sure that crowley would want to - should want to - be an angel again, that he's willing to leave everything behind for his one little corrupt corner of eternity. it's poisonous, watching aziraphale stick so intensely to the rules of heaven and hell. but it's inherently in character.

to aziraphale, gabriel and beelzebub's departing was initially grounds for a confession. i mean, look at him.

just look at his absolute happiness at being able to take crowley out to dance!!! in this episode, we get some real gems of aziraphale's true, deep love in his reactions - the infatuated smiles, the 'you're being silly', the hand on crowley's chest in the pub, the 'oh, crowley loves saving me' and VERY specifically, the gripping of crowley's shirt when he sees gabriel and beelzebub together because it means that they could be too. and quite honestly, i don't think the series conclusion throws ANY of that away!! i think the conclusion enhances it so aggressively! why? because it's made so much more painful.

aziraphale was so, SO ready to accept crowley's confession. he was going to confess himself - i am willing to die on that hill. throughout the whole season, he seems so infatuated and so ready to open himself up. yet, the moment the metatron proposes a promotion to archangel, that is all thrown away. all the rebellion he was willing to put up is lost. and i can understand that, because of the switch around in thought pattern, it's easy to say that the metatron manipulated him. but honestly? i really disagree with that take!

aziraphale is just not the type of angel to go against the rules. it took stupid amounts of alcohol to even get him to consider going against heaven regarding armageddon, and even then, he had to find his own loophole to justify it, AND EVEN THEN, HE ATTEMPTED TO CONVINCE HEAVEN TO CALL IT OFF DEMOCRATICALLY UNTIL THE VERY END. THE REASON HE ENDED UP DISCORPORATED AND FORCED TO POSSESS MADAM TRACY WAS BECAUSE HE WAS CONVERSING WITH THE METATRON TO TRY AND DEMOCRATICALY STOP ARMAGEDDON.

as he was ending that tether of obedience - as his want to be with crowley overcame the want to follow the rules - he seemed more bold. when he saw gabriel and beelzebub, that boldness solidified. he was willing to break rules and stand up for himself and crowley - at least, that's how i interpreted it, this season. but of course, he switched his opinions when an easier and SAFER route was provided for him. by making crowley an angel again, all the 'problems' would be solved. he wouldn't have to disobey heaven, crowley wouldn't be bound to the 'wrong' side, and they could be together. of course this thought pattern is inherently wrong, but it's a route that he would be more willing to take because - in his mind - it is a route that protects them.

and oh my god!! that apology after the kiss!! despite the fact it was tone deaf, it was also an apology in good faith. like the apology in s1, he is doing something, but unlike the apology in s1, he's also doing another thing. these things are:

distancing himself from the scenario. by apologising, he doesn't have to actually confront that what crowley's saying might be the better option. he is giving crowley the opportunity to take back his words so that both of them can continue playing by the book. we see this in season one.

misinterpreting literally everything. in season 1, that apology was a distancing attempt. hard and fast, clean and cut. but this time, i am genuinely and ENTIRELY willing to believe that aziraphale didn't understand crowley's kiss. sure, the apology might've also been based on distancing himself, but i would rather die than step down from my belief that aziraphale just wasn't able to grasp why crowley would kiss him if it weren't to apologise.

let me elaborate on this because i can't just put it in one point.

that kiss was seemingly out of the blue, for aziraphale. they had argued, it was nearly over, and then crowley decided to do something kind of - to aziraphale - a bit mental.

i mentioned, at the start of this bloody endless essay, that aziraphale is more adept at picking up on verbal cues. crowley, however, is able to pick up on non-verbal cues. what makes the scene so heart-wrenching is how they both choose to communicate. aziraphale explains again and again because words are what should make sense, and so crowley fumbles his way through communication. aziraphale listens - he waits, he's patient, like he always is - and then he just goes back to explaining, calmly, patiently, as if crowley is somehow just not understanding it. so crowley, as a last ditch attempt to get aziraphale to stay and rethink everything, kisses him.

you know that scene. the scene. this one.

this thing? this moment? you know, where aziraphale doesn't even flinch? i mentioned this earlier - aziraphale is prioritising the words, and listening to their meanings, disregarding the venom in his tone. there's a reason people keep comparing the two scenes! whilst shot similarly, the most harrowing similarities and differences arise the moment you look a bit deeper. for example, aziraphales demeanour. he's calm when crowley pins him to the wall and seethes in his tone, but he's flailing when kissed. see, when crowley finally does something that isn't accompanied by words - a human display of passion and love, a plea - aziraphale has nothing verbal to go off of.

"i forgive you" is a terrible thing to say, don't get me wrong, but aziraphale jumped to one conclusion. one that would let him believe - in his mind - the best case scenario. that the kiss was an apology. and so, when crowley storms out, we get this.

regret, confusion, guilt, that's all very present. he's not only misunderstood crowley, but he's talked down to him and severed a very important and close relationship. but the way he touches his own lips, oh my god.

aziraphale's always been tempted by humanely pleasures. food, obviously. but he also just enjoys their culture an obvious amount. books, for instance! that's not something you'd be getting in heaven, even though the bible is probably endorsed. books are a human thing. as is food, as is theatre, as is magic.

a kiss is totally within that spectrum. it's a human pleasure. and aziraphale adores that closeness, and he has just LOST IT FOREVER. it's the most specific look of regret i've ever seen on a character. it's performed so well. aziraphale truly thinks that he's doing what he's doing for good - transforming heaven, making it less corrupt, making it better. so when he walks away for good and gets in the elevator, he thinks he's making the right sacrifice. but, if you ask me, crowley must be thinking that aziraphale has finally found the one temptation he won't give into.

and it's crippling, for the both of them.

tldr; aziraphale fucked up so bad, and it is his own fault. but also, it's still totally in character!!!

sorry for the longest post ever oh mygod

[jainiss]

hello!

bringing reactions from some characters from one piece, when yn is someone they don't see for a long time, and when yn return, she is very, beautifully, different.

Ps: forgive me if there are english mistakes. English is not my native language.

Ps2: these are guesses at what I think it would be. all fictional.

Zoro's reaction was a mixture of surprise and admiration when he saw Yn after such a long time. His eye widened as he took in her stunning appearance, and a faint, almost imperceptible blush crept onto his cheeks. He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, and then gruffly said, "You've changed a lot, Yn. Looking good, I guess." His words may have been gruff, but his eyes betrayed the genuine awe he felt.

--

Ace's heart raced as he caught sight of Yn after such a long time. He couldn't believe how stunning she had become. A mixture of surprise and admiration crossed his face as he struggled to find the right words to express his feelings. "Yn, is that really you? You look absolutely incredible!" His eyes remained fixed on her, unable to tear away from her newfound beauty.

--

Sanji's reaction would likely be one of extreme surprise and admiration when he sees someone he hasn't encountered for a long time, only to find that they've become exceptionally beautiful and attractive. He might react with wide eyes, a dropped jaw, and possibly a classic nosebleed, as he's known for his infatuation with beautiful women. Sanji would likely shower the person with compliments and offer his assistance, as chivalry is one of his defining traits.

--

As you return, looking more beautiful and alluring than ever, Mihawk's sharp eyes widen ever so slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. He remains silent for a moment, studying you with a mixture of curiosity and admiration before finally acknowledging your presence with a nod and a faint, almost imperceptible smile.

--

Shanks reaction is one of pure astonishment. His eyes widen as he takes in her stunning transformation, her beauty leaving him momentarily speechless. A warm smile slowly spreads across his face, and he says, "Yn, you've grown even more beautiful with time. I'm truly glad to see you again."

--

Crocodile, when he sees you after a long time, would might be a mix of surprise and intrigue. He might raise an eyebrow and smirk slightly, his trademark cigar dangling from his lips as he quietly observes the transformation, his sharp eyes never missing a detail. While he may not openly express his emotions, there would be a subtle shift in his demeanor, reflecting his appreciation for the person's newfound beauty.

Byebye ~~

© jainiss ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

[awalkoflife]

sometimes i'm totally fine and then i'll think about india's reaction to felix's death.

this is purely based on my own headcanons and my interpretation of india as a character so feel free to disengage entirely, i just needed to write it down. i think that india and felix were close friends before they ever became lovers. there isn't a lot of evidence to back this up but there is a level of comfort and familiarity and consistency with the two of them that would suggest they have a bond that extends beyond just mere sexual intimacy and attraction. she respects him for who he is, for his quirks and charms and yes, even his flaws. she understands him, can relate to him, is aware of the pressure and the pedestal that he's been placed upon.

india was the girl born into privilege, who was given everything from a young age not only because she was wealthy but because she was beautiful. i think she shared this burden with felix --- both of them yearned for a deeper connection, to find a sense of clarity and purpose. she is spoiled and entitled and a princess in every sense of the word but she isn't cruel. her heart is easily bruised and although defiant in nature, she craves the idealisation of belonging. she never wanted to solely belong to a world of materialistic aristocracy, she wanted to belong to him. to experience genuine love with someone who knew what it was already like to have everything else in the world handed to you on a silver platter. she wanted the kind of love with felix that wasn't easily obtained. true love. the kind of love money or privilege or status couldn't buy. something that would forever be just theirs.

the night of felix's death, i don't think it was their first rendezvous in the maze. yes, they were a little drunk and intoxicated but they were also giddy and laughing and holding hands. they knew what they were about to get up to and they were revelling in it together. that sense of familiarity is echoed in this scene; with each other, with the location, with the utter excitement both are experiencing as a result. there's also something to be noted about the way that they escaped together. they wanted to be alone, to detach themselves from the suffocating confines of oliver's party inside of the saltburn estate. it wasn't just about sex for them. it was about being alone, just the two of them, in their own private domain where they could give each other pleasure and intimacy and a taste of the connection they were craving. to me, this decision on their part made a statement: it wasn't just a quickie, it hinted a lot more about the precious, sacred nature of their relationship.

although not included in the canon event of the movie, there's an alternate reality where my portrayal of india would have gone up to felix's bed and slept there the night of the party. she would have waited on him even though they were interrupted, fallen asleep and would have woken the following morning to her worst nightmare come true. grief, up until that day, was a foreign concept to india --- a girl who had never lost anything of importance. while she worshipped felix the same way that everyone else did, it wasn't as straight forward as simple infatuation. in truth, it didn't start out that way for her. india first fell in love with felix while they were friends, before they ever became lovers. she loved him for the man that he was. the vivacious, fun, gorgeous, silly, wondrous creation. he was a dear friend first and foremost, someone who she wanted to protect, to cherish and to hopefully be with in the end. the loss of felix in her life represented more than just the loss of love. it stole away a part of herself that she'll never be able to retain, a part of herself that he awakened within her. she'll never forgive herself for leaving him in the maze and for not going back to check on him. life, inevitably, is never the same without felix river catton.

[not-poignant]

we know that alex has been in love for a long time but what about sebastian? he makes me so confused lol

i’m always wondering about what’s going on in his mind

Okay, so, I'm happy to talk about this! But it is kind of spoilery so like gird your loins or whatever :D

Sebastian has not had any romantic feelings for Alex at all. Ever.

He's never really thought about him sexually, and when he has he's kind of been grossed out because he can only really imagine Alex in heterosexual situations (that might be changing, but slowly, lol). He's concealing no secret feelings or anything like that.

He is however growing genuine feelings of friendship and care, and there's definitely potential for him to grow more (otherwise this story wouldn't work).

But there's no 'mutual pining' here or anything. Alex was completely alone in his love for Sebastian. Not only that, but Sebastian didn't even realise he was gay until he met Martingale (at least that's the working theory I have so far, we'll see when it comes to writing it). Not only is Alex gay, he's known it about himself for actually a lot longer than Sebastian has about himself.

Sebastian has a strong sense of internal justice when it comes to being paid fairly and being treated well for work. This is pulled directly from the canon. In the very first cut scene we ever have with Sebastian, he's pissed off that his mother and Abigail don't take his work seriously, and you also have the option of respecting / not respecting his work. So this is pretty foundational to his character. It's the first thing he ever opens up to you about. So that's definitely influenced some of his behaviour in A Stain that Won't Dissolve.

But it's not like Sebastian offered Alex the cleaning job, Alex actually had to put himself forward and then really push for it, because Sebastian's initial response was no / that's not a good idea.

I honestly think the thing that really opens Sebastian's mind to the idea that Alex could be someone he's attracted to, is learning that one of his guy friends hits on Alex (which is coming in a couple of chapters).

But yeah, much of Alex's love would have been received as extremely unrequited, and Alex has also known that. It's why he doesn't try to like... subtly 'seduce' Sebastian. He just wants to be closer to him. He hopes at best for friendship and doesn't expect even that much. He doesn't think about his infatuation with Sebastian as anything more than something he has to deal with privately for the rest of his life, like a burden his brain made him carry and he can't make himself stop.

On that front, he's actually pretty accurate in his assessment of Sebastian as being not attracted to him, or at least not personally interested in him (I think Sebastian could be attracted to Alex - I mean he obviously will come to be - but has ruled Alex out due to him just being a straight dickhead, lol). The reason it's hard to tell what Sebastian's thinking on that front is because Sebastian isn't really engaging on that front.

I don't think Sebastian has any idea that Alex is gay, that Alex could be into him, anything like that. Alex has done a good job of hiding it from everyone, which many people who fear for their lives re: their sexualities do actually get pretty good at, especially in country towns. Especially if you know your family wouldn't have approved, or worry about it.

Sebastian definitely isn't like... secretly aware of this stuff, and he's not secretly concealing feelings towards Alex. Sebastian's story is a slow burn towards growing attraction. Alex's story is unrequited love for way too long.

Also, Sebastian finding out Alex is gay, Sebastian finding out Alex might be attracted to him, and Sebastian finding out that Alex is in love with him, are all going to be three completely separate realisations!

[vldkeith]

Hey! No hate at all but I’m genuinely curious, how do you stay interested in one thing for so long? Personally I had a Voltron phase that was really strong but then lost it after awhile, I was still interested but just not infatuated, I was wondering if it was similar for you

i am very much not neurotypical so theres that. obviously my active engagement waxes and wanes based on things like how busy/crazy life is, what's happening in the fandom, etc but i dont know voltron has just become over the years ever-present in my life & intertwined with so many relationships i have that i cant imagine not really being into it anymore. my love for the characters just hasn't lessened, even when i don't actively engage in making things about them. ive always been very intense about my interests though so i definitely think your experience is more normal than mine lol