#i genuinely do luv them so i drew something sweet

[smilezandmics]

mmmm methinks i would love to see some chaggie snuggles of some sort. vaggie wings included, because making a cocoon out of your wings around you & your partner is the best concept ever & its why we should have wings. so yeah.

chaggie cuddles with a safety blanket made out of wings. or hot make out session, thats also always goodB)

so jealous of charlie bc if i had a cute thicc latina angel gf i’d never leave our bedroom

[ikeromantic]

Summertime Swim

Written for @cinnamon-hoe as part of my 500 follower celebration

Arthur, Riches, Something Borrowed, and Surprise Me!

Approx. 1900 words - spicy NSFW!

It was a hot afternoon in Paris. The pavement shimmered in the heat and the air felt thick against the skin, too heavy to breathe. Arthur had shed his gentleman’s coat hours ago, and his vest soon after. His shirt was undone, and his tie hung loose at his collar.

Sweat beaded over his chest, the drops swelling until they ran down his slick belly. He couldn’t remember a day in which he wanted to be naked more than this one. Clothes, any clothes, felt unbearably heavy.

Arthur glanced at the woman beside him. She was pink-cheeked from the heat and fanning herself with her hand. He could see how damp her collar was, and imagined she was even more uncomfortable than he in all those layers of clothing.

They were on their way back to the mansion with a wrapped set of books Arthur had borrowed from one of le Comte’s friends in town, and a few items for Sebastian. The errand seemed like a good idea but now that they were halfway through, he was regretting the choice.

“I suppose we might have been cooler at the mansion. Sorry luv.” He squeezed her free hand lightly. “I didn’t realize it would get quite so hot.”

“It’s alright. It will just make us appreciate the cooler air outside the city more.” She smiled over at him.

Arthur shook his head. “Always so cheerful, aren’t you? Even when you look like you’re about to melt.” He leaned close and kissed the tip of her ear. “If you melted, I would have to eat you up.”

“Only if I melt?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I never said only!” Arthur leaned close and flicked his tongue across the skin just below her ear. He smiled at the way she shivered. “I’d eat you any time.”

She poked him. “When you say it like that, I can’t even think straight.”

“And that is half the point. The other half is seeing how much you want me.” He nipped her earlobe.

“Hey! It’s entirely too hot for you to be doing that. You’re just making it worse.” She smacked his arm and pretended to pout.

Arthur took a step back. She was right, of course, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, taste her . . . even when it was so hot they were both dripping. What he needed was a way to cool down so he could heat things up in a more pleasant way. And being his smug self, he knew exactly how to do it.

They were better than half way home, with the sweltering Paris streets behind them. In the countryside, the breeze was sweeter and a little cooler, though the fields still shimmered under the bright, afternoon sun. In the haze, just past a field of waist-high wheat, Arthur spotted his only hope. A blue ripple in the golden brown afternoon. It was a small lake, rimmed on the far side by trees.

He tugged his lover’s hand. “Come on, let’s take a little break before we walk the rest of the way.”

“What? But why? Don’t you want to -” her eyes found the lagoon and she stopped mid-sentence. “Oh! Yes, I think a little break would be great. We can splash our feet in the water and enjoy the shade.”

Arthur grinned. “Spot on. You read my mind.”

The lagoon was a perfect spot for a picnic, a rowboat trip, or an afternoon swim. And since it was outside the city, few people ever came this way to enjoy it. The two lovers walked around the water to the far side where the trees were tall and the shade was deep.

Arthur set down the bundle of books and began shrugging off his coat, vest, and shirt.

“Ah, A-arthur? You . . . I think you’ve lost your shirt?” She covered her mouth with her hand and he couldn’t tell if she was serious or just teasing.

“I’m about to lose a lot more than that,” he grinned. And undid his belt.

“Wait! But . . . I thought we’d . . . just put our feet in.” She was blushing now, and Arthur knew this sudden shyness was genuine.

He let his belt drop to the ground and slid his pants off. He was gloriously bare underneath and gods but the air felt good on the bits and pieces. Arthur nearly sighed with the sheer pleasure of the breeze. “Oh, come now, my pretty little skirt. You didn’t really think I was going to sneak you off to a secluded pond just to splash our feet in the shallows, hm?”

“But someone will see!”

“Oh yes, there are crowds hiding in the wheat,” he chuckled. Then he took a step toward her. “Don’t you want to take a swim, luv? Aren’t you achingly hot?” He ran his hand up her arm, tracing the droplets of sweat with his fingertips.

“I . . . I can get cool enough . . .”

Arthur tugged at her skirt with his other hand, pulling it up and up until the fabric rested at her hip. “Doesn’t the air feel good on your skin? Now imagine the water . . . look at it. It’s cool and blue and perfect.” He smiled as her eyelids closed and she took a long, slow breath.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he grinned. His skillful fingers found the buttons of her gown and he popped them open one after another. With each little bit of exposed skin, he found himself more and more excited. He’d seen her nude so many times before that he expected the novelty to wear off, but with her . . . it never did. Just seeing the curve of her breast, the lines of her bare shoulder - it was hard to go slow. To be patient.

“W-what if there are snakes or - or -”

Arthur laughed. “Luv, the only snake here is the trouser variety.”

“You’re so wicked,” she giggled, and peeked at him from one half-opened eye. “I can’t believe you just stripped down like that!”

“I don’t know how you can even tell, with your eyes shut. Why don’t you open them and see if you enjoy the view?”

She blushed a deep crimson, but her eyes fluttered open. They traveled from his damp brow and messy hair to his eyes, and his lip. Past his shoulders to his bare chest. A pearl of sweat trickled past his nipple to the dimple of his bellybutton. She licked her lips.

“Ah, Arthur, oh . . . you . . .” she coughed. “You -”

“Now you see what you’ve done to me, hm? Naughty girl.” He popped another button open, revealing even more of the inner curve of her breast.

“You can’t blame that on me,” she said breathily.

“I can. I do.” The last few buttons came loose. He pushed her top open. “Come on luv. Come swim with me.”

The last bit of resistance in her broke as the cool breeze sighed across her breasts. She slid her clothes to the ground.

“Mmmm, that’s the way.” He lifted her up, sweat slicked-skin to skin, and carried her into the water. The pond’s bottom was soft and he stirred the silt with each step as he walked them deep enough to be covered to the shoulder. Then he let her down.

“I hate it when you’re right,” she sighed.

Arthur laughed. “Is that so?”

“It is!” She splashed him. The water drops fell in a splatter over his face and shoulders.

He sent a little wave of water at her in revenge. In seconds they were shouting and laughing, turning the lagoon into a warzone of water weapons. It was all fun and games until Arthur went under. He swam out past her and then turned. She was watching for him to surface, but that wasn’t the plan.

Instead, he moved slowly until he was close enough to touch. And pinched her. Just a light one, enough to startle.

She let out a shriek and leapt up, half out of the water like a startled mermaid.

Arthur surfaced, laughing so hard he was almost in tears.

“That isn’t funny!”

“It is,” he grinned.

She crossed her arms. “I thought for a second that something bit me!” Her lips were set in a frown, half annoyed and half amused.

Arthur sidled close. “But luv, something did bite you . . .” He lowered his head to her neck and kissed her. His teeth grazed her skin lightly, enough to pull a sigh of longing from her lips.

Her legs wrapped around his hips, and her arms went around his shoulders. “You’re an awful tease.”

“Pot, kettle,” he muttered. With her snug against him like this, his need became a physical ache. No more play. No games. He just wanted her.

She smiled. “I never said I wasn’t . . .” She leaned down and bit his neck where at the join with his shoulder. Her little teeth were sharp for a human, but what made him gasp was the way she suckled at the bite, and licked the skin.

“Wicked,” he gasped. His wit was nowhere to be found. Gone along with all sense. He could hear the pulse of her blood. It matched his own heartbeat. Fast. Desperate.

Her smooth fingers circled his shaft under the water. Playful fingertips danced along that so-sensitive skin from root to tip and he felt - he felt as if he might burst just from that light caress. “Mmm, I guess I am . . .”

Arthur felt helpless in her grip. The water and the way she’d entwined him . . . “Is this payback,” he asked hoarsely.

“For all the times you teased me? Absolutely.” Her laugh was crystal chimes and silver bells. Sweet and saucy. “But especially for that pinch!”

She laid bare his need with her soft hands, taunted him with her lips. She used him, rubbing the head of his cock against her hard little pearl until she climaxed. And worse, slid just the tip - the tip - inside to let him feel her heat, and the shuddering pleasure he brought her.

Arthur was almost begging to be released. Every brush of her skin on his was torture, bliss, a fire in his heart and his groin. “L-luv . . . I’m . . . please . . .” He gasped as she let his shaft slide against her clit again.

She drew back and for a moment, he thought she would only tease him again but this time she sank onto him. A slow descent. The cool water replaced by her searing, tight heat.

He might have tried to draw it out, but he was savage with need. Arthur grabbed her hips and plunged deep into her, again and again. It was heaven. The silken slide of their flesh, the gasps and sighs and shivered cries, the way her nails dug into the skin on his back.

Arthur felt himself almost peak. He lowered his head to her neck and bit. The sound she made pushed him over the edge, and he knew he’d brought her there too - again. He came hard, with the sweet-copper taste of her on his lips. He would give all the riches in the world to stretch this moment into forever. Their breath mingled, joined at heart and hip, and the pure ecstasy of making love.

They got back to the mansion near dark. Hair dripping wet, both smelling of pond-water and sex. Sebastian didn’t ask any questions. Just pointed them to the baths. Arthur set his borrowed books down along with Sebastian’s bag of sundries. There would be time for reading later. Right now, he was ready for some payback of his own in the shower.

[tinalbion]

Hey Best Writer- (I really mean it 😔💕💕💕) If you take ask(ik your asks are open but I’m just making sure 😤💕) could u do a scenario/hcs (whichever you want) for Buckman and his S/O that have a L O T (arms, back and legs) of tattoos and is a heavy metal singer- If it’s okay 😂👉👈 I just had this magnificent idea Ps: I luv your writing so much 😔😔😤😤😤🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👁👄👁

FRUTTI! YOU SWEET AND WONDERFUL DARLING, YOU! Best writer? You’re WAY too lovely, omg, bless you~

You’re always so kind and I love you so, so much! This is definitely okay and I cannot wait for you to read what I have, may you enjoy it! 💖 And I love YOU!!! Thank you~

Mayor Buckman x Reader who is a Heavy Metal Singer Covered in Tattoos

Rating: None

Length: 1.2k

Upon meeting

Coming to Pleasant Valley wasn’t exactly what you signed up for when you got lost on your way to the beach, but the detour sign was the only way you could have possibly gone what with the other roads being blocked or out of service. So here you were, staring ahead looking like a deer caught in the headlights as your car was surrounded by all of these people who had greeted you so kindly, some were even playing instruments as you sat in the driver’s seat. Then suddenly, they all parted to make way for an older gentleman who looked as friendly as the rest of them, his face giving you that sense of ‘everything is gonna be okay’. He was dressed very well and he looked really intrigued by your look.

“Well greetings there, darlin’, Buckman’s the name, mayor’s my game!” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you took it firmly, shaking it and surprising even him with your grip. “Welcome to Pleasant Valley.”

You stepped out from the car to speak properly and that’s when they all got a real good look at you in your tank top and shorts. Buckman had been rendered speechless as you stepped out looking up at the large manor as you shield your eyes from the harsh sun, his gaze glued on you as your attention was elsewhere. You really were a very unique creature and it almost shamed him to look at you like that, especially with his background and his personal beliefs.

It only got worse from there as he kept an eye on you throughout the day. Granny Boone caught you and gave you a glass of fresh lemonade and conversed with you, commenting on your tattoos.

“So darling, what made you think of getting all those tattoos on you? Seems to be a perfect way to ruin your skin…”

You smiled kindly and shrugged. “I’m an artist in a way, I sing, probably not the type of music you listen to, but this is another way to express my artistic feelings and I just think they’re gorgeous. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, that’s totally understandable.”

Granny Boone listened as she sipped at her glass, quiet as she looked up and down your arms and legs, smirking ever so slightly. “Sounds like a very interesting take on it, dear, I respect that.” And that was that.

What neither of you knew was that the mayor had been hanging around, listening to you speak. It was a completely different way of thinking, he didn’t understand it to the point of getting it inked into your skin, but as Granny said, he could definitely respect it. But what really caught his attention was your confession of being a singer, though you mentioned it wouldn’t be something they may like. He was still genuinely curious about you. You seemed like this really hard, really aggressive-looking person, yet something in your face and in your voice was really sweet, it drew Buckman in like nothing ever had before.

He walked along the dirt roads of the town and gave instruction to the townsfolk for the other guests that so happened to stop into town thanks to their cleverly crafted detour sign, but he firmly instructed that the heavily tattooed gal was to be off-limits for now.

It wasn’t until the sun had gone down that you came out from your quarters and almost quite literally ran into Buckman as you were wandering around Pleasant Valley and enjoying the music that echoed in the air, and you caught your footing before stumbling, grabbing the mayor’s hand before he too fell onto the ground from the impact.

“Oh, I am so sorry, mayor!” you chirped as you dusted off his jacket for him, panicking that you may have upset him or offended him, but when you looked up, he was chuckling. "Oh, I'm sorry?"

"Well, well, if it isn't our little charming camellia," he greeted and placed his hand on yours. "Don't worry so much about it, darlin', you okay?"

You blushed a little and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. What are you doing out here so late?"

Buckman looked around and gestured at the sky. "Well now, the sky is clear, the moon is high, and the evening is still early. Gotta relax and have some fun, ya know? Let loose a little. By the way, I heard about your music, what kinda music do you sing?"

You looked up at him and smiled, wondering just how much you'd scare this poor man with your preference of music. Though showing that he was interested was amusing in itself. "Well, as I mentioned to Granny Boone, I don’t think you’ll be too excited about it. You folks seem to like a certain charming genre while mine is uh, heavier... “ you explained with a grin.

Buckman didn’t seem to mind as he walked alongside you, his hands clasped behind his back as he listened. “You are an intriguing creature, I hope you know that."

You looked up at him and eyed him curiously, unable to hide your smile as you both stopped at the edge of the grassy field that stretched out before you. The moon pulled your gaze away from him and you couldn't help but really admire being out in the country like this and really being closer to nature. You were a city person, you didn't get the time nor the pleasure to get the chance to do this very often.

"Well uh," Buckman began, "I'd be willing to hear your music some time if you decided to stay for the next couple of days."

You looked back at him and smiled excitedly. "Yeah, I'd really like that, mayor."

"Oh now, do go ahead and call me Buckman," he cooed and slipped his hands in his pockets, walking away and making it back to the life of the party, leaving you to your thoughts in the moonlight. And that's where it all began.

Establishing a relationship

After capturing his interest, it ended up going from there and you two grew ever closer, so much to the point that he spared you from ending up on the dinner table that Jubilee. You were in the dark and had no idea of the fates of the guests that had passed through.

The more time you spent together, the more you allowed Buckman to see the real you; you told him your interests, you told him your likes and what drove you, what you were passionate about. He seemed to take interest in these things all without really telling you much about himself.

What seemed like days was almost a fever dream for you and then something had changed. He asked you to stick around even though he warned you that if you did, things would become complicated. You didn't know what that entailed, but despite it being cryptic it was almost sweet the way he asked you these things.

"Aren't I a bit too different for you, though? I mean, this whole 1800s thing, I don't know if I'd-" You were unsure of yourself and yet you were almost leaning toward the choice of staying here with him despite it being very far from your comfort zone. "You mean, you don't mind that I look like this?"

"Darlin', you're one of the most unique individuals I've ever come across, and I've seen a lot of different folk stop through here. I think this place will be good for your soul."

[chrolloctrl]

Maybe like a short kurapika comfort thing ? Like you're really sad for some reason and he just tries his best to comfort you. If you don't mind💜

just wanted to say that you were my first request <3 you are so sweet! i’m writing this as a blurb/one shot, i hope that’s okay! thank you so much once again :)

word count: 818

omg it came out lil longer than i expected sorry :(

ratings/warnings: a lil bit of angst, but the fluff makes up for it i promise!!! also kurapika is kinda corny, but i genuinely think he would be this way when he’s in luv <3 the only warning i can think of for depression/mental illness. if you’re struggling with any of that pls feel free to send me an ask to talk I am always here <3

okay that is enough of that I hope this is okay !!

Kurapika was always a man of few words. He was keen on the idea that if you weren’t going to say anything of importance, that it would be best to not say anything at all. You understand and respected this. It usually worked out very well, when something was wrong, you both would just sit silence. For some, (especially Gon), this was something that always confused them. But it worked, and it stayed that way for a little while.

But you were getting worse. Things were getting worse. And you didn’t know why.

You had Gon, Killua, Leorio, and of course, Kurapika. All of these four people loved you in so many different ways. They cared for you, they fought for you, they were always present.

But the emptiness in your heart just wouldn’t go away. And you just didn’t know why.

Kurapika was away that day, probably on some special journey with Gon and Killua, since they were always dragging him somewhere. That morning, he asked you to come with them.

“No it’s okay,” you said, “I’m not feeling too good, I would probably just bring you guys down.”

He looked at you, an eyebrow raised, “Suit yourself darling, but you would never bring us down. You know that.” And with that he gave you a kiss on the forehead and off he went.

You cleaned the whole house, tried reading (but failed), turned on a movie, but nothing.

Absolutely nothing could stop the pain in your heart.

It was a foolish pain. It was always lurking for no reason. Telling you that you weren’t loved, telling you that you were worthless. It was always there, just in different intensities.

You weren’t like the rest of them. You weren’t some strong hunter, you were just a person. A person with too many feelings and zero clue as to why they were there. Your mind and heart were battlegrounds, but there was no battle being fought.

You stood in front the mirror and stared at your reflection. The bags under your eyes were prominent, since you hadn’t gotten a goodnight’s sleep in days. You reached forward and put a hand on the mirror, a single tear trailing down your cheek.

“Why Y/N…why do we feel this way…” The tears started flowing a little more freely.

“You are being selfish. You have everything, more than you could ever ask for. You aren’t the person you were…so why…why does it hurt so much. Why doesn’t it go away?”

You set your hands down onto the sink to hold yourself steady, your vision cloudy with your tears. As more and more tears started coming, you couldn’t hold back the tiny sobs escaping. You covered your mouth to muffle them, as you slowly slid onto the bathroom floor.

“It hurts so much.” You whispered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” A voice whispered from the doorway.

You turned around and saw Kurapika standing there, a tear trailing down his cheek.

You shook your head, “I-I didn’t want to worry you. There are more important things to worry about than me being sad for no reason.”

He crouched down, eyes level with yours. He gently grasped your cheek in his hand, and gave your nose a small peck.

“There is nothing in this world more important to me than you.”

You chuckled, wiping away your tears, “Not even killing those spiders?”

“Nothing at all.” His face remaining serious.

You looked down at your feet, as he inched closer and embraced you as tightly as he could. It was too hard to hold back, and you broke down in his arms. He drew small circles on your back, lightly humming in your ear as your sobs echoed throughout the room.

“Why does it hurt so much…it just doesn’t stop hurting…” His grasp tightened a little harder.

“I don’t know dove, I don’t know. Pain is a confusing thing,” He pulled away from you as you looked back up at him.

“But what I do know, is that you have strength, whether you believe it yourself or not. You have a heart of gold, you are loving, you are kind, you are compassionate, and I have never been so lucky to hold someone as bright as you in my arms.”

“You really think so?” You mumbled.

“You are brighter than the brightest star in the night sky.”

After that, he embraced you once more. For a while, you both stayed in that position as long as possible. It was silent, as usual, but Kurapika had done more than make you feel comfortable. He had made you feel loved, wanted, appreciated.

You know it would take you a while to yourself the way he loved you, but together you were both just two stars dancing in the night sky, hoping to somehow make it through.

And that was all you needed.

[bitnotgood28]

Thank you @hometothecanyonmoon for tagging me!!

1) When did you become a Louie?

Embarrassingly late. I’d say around mid-April 2020, since that’s around the time I learned about Larry and joined the 1D fandom. I focused mostly on Louis and Harry and whatever they got up to, so during that I just noticed little quirks and started to pick up on their personalities. Harry is sweet and dorky and I adore him, but I love Louis’ wit and his sarcasm and his compassion, basically his character in general. Afterwards, I learned that Louis has recently released LT1, so I downloaded the entire album to give it a listen and have not stopped listening since. His whole album is a blessing, all of his music is so meaningful and touching; you’ve heard his songs and lyrics, yeah?

2) Why did you become a Louie?

Multiple reasons, the two main ones being his music and his personality. I’m not greatly interested in the type of music that’s mostly being released at present (no offense meant), and Louis’ voice is just incredibly unique, something I really like in artists. Everything that he’s written has been sincere and expressive, like a touch of rawness in them, especially when he sings. There’s just so much emotion behind every word and note, and his voice!! It has the sweetest rasp to it and his voice has gotten stronger and more powerful over the years, yet it can still be soft and light like during the bridge in Defenceless. He is also such a sweetheart, treating everyone kindly and with understanding unless he thinks they’re undeserving of it. The way he socialize with children and animals makes my heart melt, he looks so happy and excited during those interactions with his crinkling eyes and his smile-goodness, he is truly God’s gift.

3) One thing that drew you in specifically?

Easily his charisma and satire. His humor and jokes always stood out to me during interviews, his quips are just hilarious, that sweet boy. He draws attention to himself and leaves an imprint on you, and you get attached to him and his personality and his cheekbones-essentially his entire being. I was also kind of irritated with the amount of lines he and Niall were given compared to the other boys, so I paid more mind to the two of them (along with Harry) at the beginning. I think it’s also because I tend to notice those who aren’t as noticed or not quite under the spotlight-is that they proper description? Anyway, between Louis and Niall I wound up taking more of a liking to Louis with his sass and his cheek and his eyelashes. Man, is he even real? He’s so sweet and genuine, he’s endured so much and has continued to stand strong after each blow; it’s as heartbreaking as it’s inspiring. I just want to wrap him in a blanket and take him far away from all the cruelty present in the world, maybe feed him some tacos and stroke his hair until he falls asleep. He can still joke around and enjoy life while also doing his job and doing it brilliantly, might I add. I feel like he’d be a wonderful best friend to have, empathetic and supportive, someone you’d be able to stir up chaos with but also who’d keep your moral compass pointing in the right direction. Honestly, I’m quite certain that God created him with the thought of sunshine and sunflowers in His head.

4) Favorite song on Walls?

Oo, that’s difficult. I love Always You, its tempo and it’s tune are just really lively and upbeat. I’ve also got a special place in my heart for the lyrics of Fearless (God, that second verse and chorus and first verse - the whole song), Defenceless (“I come running to you like a moth into a flame,”? “I’m too tired to be tough, just wanna be loved by you,”???), Only For the Brave (“It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray,” “All the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave,” this song is so lyrically poetic and I love every second of it), and Two of Us (the bridge.. God it’s so melancholy yet somewhat hopeful[?]). Kill My Mind also has this great indie rock sound to it, I’d gladly listen to it for hours. I.. am realizing that this absolutely does not answer the question, but I hope you now understand how good Louis’ songs are and how much I love them <333

5) Who would you want Louis to collab with?

Okay, I took a bit of time on this and I think one would be Alessia Cara. I’d really like to hear how they would sound together, considering how unique and distinctive both of their voices are individually, and how the music they produced would mesh with each other. Another would probably be Ed Sheeran, lyrically I think they’d be quite powerful like Louis and Alessia, but I’m not sure how they’d sound as a unit. It’d be interesting to hear though, I’m sure. Last is Harry, and if you’ve heard edits and that duet in the chorus of Truly, Madly, Deeply, you know what I’m talking about and you know how good they sound together.

6) Favorite Hairstyle?

Peaky blinders is one, he looked like a sweet little hedgehog during that time. Cinnamon swirl is also high on the list. He looked like actual royalty (I mean when doesn’t he, but this is god tier princely) and everything was right in the world. He was just- the living embodiment of delicate. His messy quiff and messy fringe back in 2013-2014 were just.. so attractive? Those hairstyles also make me miss seeing his full face :((

7) Back to You, Just Hold On, or Miss You?

(where is the Just Like You option)

I love the lyrics and meaning behind Just Hold On, it’s all really hopeful and motivating. The whole song was really well done, Louis and Steve Aoki did such a good job. Miss You also has a great sound to it, and you can really hear his accent throughout the whole song (fook, luv, anova, need I go on). I also love the bit of violin (I think it’s a violin) they added in the second pre-chorus and final chorus? It adds kind of like a lighter factor to the heavy guitar and drums already present in the song, and some sort of assurance that everything will be okay (I’m bad at describing things I’m sorry akdjsjdj). Back to You, God the notes they hit during that song.. beautiful (“We don’t know how to make it stop,” and “I love it, I hate it and I can’t take it,”). Can I also just say that Louis and Bebe both looked really, really attractive during that music video? Like damn please hold back on the extra chili, it’s already hot in here.

8) Louis in suits or sweaters?

Louis in suits is just.. all his assets (ha) are accentuated and he looks so sharp and beautiful, his shoulders just a bit broader, and his curves more defined. Then when he wears blue suits, his eyes are just that much more blue. Louis in sweaters, on the other hand: sunflowers incarnate, sunshine and kittens, a soft heated blanket with socked feet and a fireplace while snow falls softly outside the window. He looks so, so warm and huggable and sweet with his sweater paws- imagine being his friend and being able to cuddle him? Just snuggle and chat about what he’s got prepared for LT2, maybe watch a horror movie. God truly has His favorites. In conclusion: Louis in sweaters.

9) Favorite tattoo?

I think the compass was really well made, like the shading and the contours make it look almost lifelike. Then it points to HOME, which I think is so sweet and personal, like he already knows what ‘home’ is to him and he’s sure that that’s where he’d want to go back to, every time without a doubt. I also like the “It Is What It Is” tattoo, it’s written elegantly, kind of like a Ballantines font and it’s definitely an eye-catcher, displayed on his chest. The stag one also isn’t bad, its right eye is just a bit more bugged out than the other. It makes it a lil more special though, it’s easily identifiable as Louis’ tattoo because of that and the antlers are sort of majestic.

10) Favorite Louis photo (currently)?

I am going to pretend I read that as ‘photos’ because I am an indecisive little shit :))

(HELLOOOO HE LOOK LIKE THE SWEETEST HEDGEHOG // He is just- in his element, he is living up there)

(He makes the tousled hair look so good what the hell // Does this need elaboration, I mean, his smile literally powers everything on earth, and the crinkles by his eyes, and his sweater, and his lil canines, and-)

(Please God he is. Ethereal. Stunning. Perfect. In both photos, his eyes are just. Bright. And the cinnamon swirl, I- I’ve ascended to a higher plane of existence. He’s just so beautiful. Gorgeous really.)

11) Random extra?

When one is given the opportunity to express their love for Louis Tomlinson’s accent, one must accept.

His accent is like. Familiar, a bit like home (no, I’m not English), and I love that he’s been able to keep it even after years of living abroad. He has one of those accents where you can tell it’s present even when he sings, and when he uses endearments, God, it’s just so charming and sweet. It’s also really strong and distinctive, you can tell who he is by the first syllable or word he says. It’s a part of who he is and I love it so much and I love him so much, Jesus Christ akjskjd

I had fun being able to talk about Louis in this, there’s so much to him and every bit of it is another ray of sunshine <333

I tag @adorelou-28, @makethebestofwhatyouget, @28-oops-hi, and anyone else who wants to do this, no compulsions :))

[ts-akhmim]

Rites of Passage

TJ: Bodhi – I don’t know that much about you, but I’ve heard you are a crackhead, so I guess I’m ok having saved the experience of playing TS with you for a different time. It would have made the original tribes a lot more interesting to say the least, lol.

AMIR: I am so angerry we didn’t get to play together!!! I wanted to work with you back in Survivor Cutthroat and when I saw you were cast on this season i was excited to play with u again and was robbed of the opportunity AGAIN!  u were also the only person on this cast that i have played with previously so the familiarity was lovely, so anyways u were robbed even tho you got like a 35 in the first challenge luv u always

AUTUMN: I wish we had gotten to play together longer! I’m glad we’re in another game together because I think you’re a cool guy and I appreciate your humor, honesty, and just candor about everything. I know in the moment the vote felt very hurtful but it was purely about the challenge and wanting Thoth to be as strong as possible moving forward (little did we know what was coming lmaaaaoo)

TJ: Trace – Another person I never got to meet in this game, but everything I heard from the Brains that I did get to talk to was that you were a super nice guy and really respectable. Sorry this season didn’t work out for you; I think we all know we can just blame Thoth for being a cursed tribe!

AMIR: We never got to meet :(  may b in the afterlife

AUTUMN: I hope you’re well! Honestly your death felt like true Survivor because the target was someone else but once Devon and I found out that you had made an alliance with everyone except us, I flipped it and said you had to be the one to go. I think the game would’ve been completely different had you stayed because there’s no way you would’ve let me get this far and once I realized you wanted me on the bottom, I was like ok Trace is the real deal he knows I’m trouble hahaha. You’re a great guy though and I hope you understand it was just game

TJ: Isaac – The third person I have never met in this game (I feel bad, Autumn is going to be the only one of us three who can actually say anything about these first three). I know you brought an interesting dynamic to the tribe based on the tribals I had watched, so kudos to you for being able to make an impact on the tribe. Another person I think we can just blame Thoth and not really blame anything gameplay wise, lol.

AMIR: Bane of my existence but also taken way too soon from us smh, you didn't deserve to be on cursed ass thoth, rip in peace’s sweet bottom

AUTUMN: You’re so sweet and wholesome and I really miss our conversations. I was being dumb and naive when you told me Scott and Duncan were a duo because I was an alliance with them and Devon. So I very much wanted to believe we were rock solid but YOU KNEW!! You called it before anyone else and for that, I stan. That alliance is literally the reason you want home and I just didn’t want to turn on them at the time. But in hindsight you were right about a lot of things and I appreciate your kindness and maturity about it all even though you were lowkey robbed

TJ: Austin – I never thought that we would reconnect after a few years away from being on the same site, so it was a great surprise to realize that you and I had actually played a couple games together in the past. I wish we had more than 24 hours together to maybe see what a future in this game could have been like. You are just as genuine of a guy as I remember you being, so that was really nice for me to see.

AMIR: Hello king of dairy queen, we honestly never talked too too much but you always were really nice to me and everyone else on hathor, and even after you were voted out, you were kind and left so gracefully

AUTUMN: You were so fun to talk to and if it weren’t for Devon’s mist I would’ve saved you lmao. I almost wish that twist hadn’t happened because had we met at a normal swap, I think our good vibes could’ve turned into a great alliance and we got along super well. It was nice getting to know you in the time we had though and I hope we get a chance to really play together one day

TJ: Lovelis – I can’t apologize enough for having to vote you off both as early as I did and how I did so. I’ve played now two seasons of the Challenge with you, but I found that I built a better bond with you this season than those two seasons combined, and then it just snowballed into this giant series of unfortunate events the tribal we had to go to and there was nothing that I could do. I’m genuinely so sorry for not being able to tell you what was going on and hope there’s a small chance you may understand sometime down the line.

AMIR: I never got to meet you unfortunately but I always thought your name was pronounced Love-El-Leez and then someone said “Loveless” and i was shookums

AUTUMN: SIR WHERE DID YOU GO??? I love that you don’t give a single fuck though haha because mood and I love dramatic exits- do you boo

TJ: AJ – Other than a brief convo during the Osiris vote, you and I never really got to meet. From what I did see, you seem like a really nice person and one that I think got voted out way too early. Hopefully I can verify that myself in another game if there is one in our future, but I wish we had been able to meet and see what could have been!

AMIR: You are so funny and and one of my fav people from Hathor 1.0 when it was such a simple time, also your winter bells score was inhumane and you had a great presence to be around, i just had a hard time ever trusting u and ya hehe

AUTUMN: ROBBED KING!! We didn’t really get to meet but thank you for sticking up for Adam on Hathor and for being honest with him. Although it led to a crazy divide amongst the beauties that lasted the whole game lmao (cmon impact!), I think that takes character to step out on a limb for someone especially when it risks your game. Merge would’ve been so much more iconic with you since I’m rooting for everyone brown haha. I hope we get to talk more after the game!

TJ: Connor – You seem like such a great guy and I wish I had spent more time trying to know you on Hathor. One of the things that always scares me in these games is when I can’t get a read on someone. I never was able to get a solid read on who you were and what you were capable of, and for that, that made you the person I was most threatened by in that circumstance. 

AMIR: 

AUTUMN: SIS I MISS YOU!! That tribe was BLAND after you left lmaaaoo I couldn’t wait for merge. Even though we didn’t talk a ton, I feel like we really vibed towards the end and just talking about Survivor seasons all evening. I screenshot your rankings and I reference them all the time/ they’ve been a fun conversation starter at merge. But anyway you’re hilarious and messy and iconic and I’m glad we got to meet. Also, you’ll be glad to know I finished Cagayan, I am neither Tony trash nor a Spencer fan, and I’m watching Pearl Islands now

TJ: Dan – Seeing you on the cast and on my starting tribe was almost like a little sigh of relief. Knowing someone and trusting that they aren’t going to just randomly screw you over is the greatest feeling in that initial stage of this game, and it sucks that it wasn’t able to go too much further than that since we got through an easy tribal at Brawn and then we got swapped onto opposite tribes. You and Drew brought me into this crazy world that is TS, and I hope I can complete that initial season now with a win here.

AMIR: Oh my gosh has it been a long time, I really haven’t seen you around or spoken to you in about 3 years, so seeing you in this game brought back a lot of nostalgia and memories from being in this community during like 2016 looooool, but it honestly was really nice to reconnect with you and see where we’ve gone in life since leaving here, wishing you the best (‘:

AUTUMN: Girl what happened??? I mean ok yes a part of me was relieved that you wouldn’t be able to kill me haha but you were robbed and we really could’ve fucked shit up. Had a different Apis member been over then instead of you, whew we would’ve done damage together on Hathor. It’s all good though- I hope everything is well with you and that you’re taking that well deserved break. All these back to back orgs we’ve been doing is getting OLD haha

TJ:  Scott – When I saw the cast reveal, I was so excited to meet you. I really thought I would be a Brain and that we would be on the same tribe. We would have worked so well together, and I hope in some alternate universe you come back to ORGs and we find each other in another game to play. 

AMIR: Scott !! Oh wow I have thots when it comes to your vote out, I did know u were getting voted out and I’m sorry, but honestly, you were just too good!! Our whole tribe was loyal to you dead ass, and I felt like if you got to merge, you would run the game using the brains and the beauties. U were just too damn likable during the game and I hope U understand why I did it

AUTUMN: Wheeeww Scott. I’m still gagged by that tribal that was something else. It was hard to see you go out like that because you truly deserve the best and have such a kind, amazing spirit. To the point where I would’ve had a hard time ever voting you or even getting anyone else to do the same so. Yes you were robbed but please don’t internalize it cause you were playing an amazing game (even had the boys confronting me about all the tea you shared haha/ gave me some messes to clean up) so please please please play again because you will WIN

TJ:  Liam – Of all the names I wrote down this season, yours was by far the hardest. Emotionally, I had really grown close to you and I felt awful for the situation you were in. Everything I told you that whole round and before that was 100% genuine. I just wanted to see the fight you had that first Brawn vote when I wanted to save you over Lovelis. You are one of the kindest dudes I’ve ever met in these games, and I have so much respect for you, your priorities, and how you carry yourself.

AMIR:  We never really got to talk much at all, but the few times we have talked you were always very sweet, I hope you are doing well. Autumn: Ok I do actually love you I swear haha. You’re a very sweet, compassionate guy and I could tell you were going through a lot which I 1000% get. But once merge hit, I knew shit would hit the fan really quickly so I basically got everyone to target you because most people didn’t know you too well and all the other Apis boys went with it because they were terrified of being the sacrificial brawn (since 5 of y’all made merge). I hope things are going better for you and I hope not having to worry about this wild ass game helped in some way. You thought you and I were tired back at pre-merge- girrrrrlll that was nothing hahaha

TJ: Jordan – If you told me Day 1 that you would be the person I would strategize the most with and become the closest ally too, I would have laughed in your face! I thought there was no freaking way that our personalities would click. And then I got to know you, we bonded over Survivor, and then a genuine friendship formed in this game. We made a F2 pact during the swapped Hathor tribe and I would have stuck to that to the end of this game. You are a great player and fun influence for these games, and I hope I made you proud throughout this merge.

AMIR: Oooof! Okay we did not leave on the best terms, you, similarly to dan, bring me a lot of nostalgia and you remind me of what it was like being in this community years ago. I never really got a chance to meet you in a personal way and get to know you at all until this game and I loved that we were able to reflect on the past and look back together, but unfortunately, by the time we did finally get on the same page, it was a little to late for me strategically. We got to connect over c*rcle and going to Ryerson and you’re honestly a real cool guy. I’m sorry for doing you dirty and I was happy to hear that you felt better the day after everything happened. I still stand by my decision and do not want to come across as a suck up, because I felt like you were after me prior to that point, and while I did feel a person connection after one call, my head still said that betraying all my allies for your plan was not smart for me. I truly do wish u the best and really hope u give me a chance outside the game, because that call we had did truly matter to me i swear I’m not evil looool Autumn: There’s so much I could say here but I’m gonna go about it like this: hi, I’m Autumn Hill and everything I do in Survivor is purely based on of strategy. I’ve always wanted to play with you just because of all the things I’ve heard about you but I knew we were too cracked to ever really work together. So I said yes to that alliance to appease Duncan and to keep an eye on you/ figure out how to take you out from the inside. There’s been a running joke all game that I just woke up and decided to kill you lmao and I swear that isn’t true. Yes I had been taking notes on you the whole game but no I was not waiting to specifically kill you at Final 11. I literally just wanted you and/or TJ to be captain because neither of y’all had done shit the whole game and it was already Final 11. Did I KNOW y’all would wile out and you would dig your own grave? No but I was really hoping you would hahaha. So you openly targeting me made it easy for me and then you snapping on everyone before tribal sealed it. I hope you don’t still hate me but I wouldn’t be surprised if you do even though I don’t think it’s justified because it’s literally just game and you had no intention of going to the end with me anyway. And I’m sure you’ve been praying I walk into jury but that has given me so much motivation to do the opposite you have no idea

TJ:  Duncan – Regardless of how our relationship in the game ended up, you are still someone that I enjoyed getting to know and genuinely connected with you during the Hathor swap. You are such a smart and genuine soul, and that’s not something that’s always easy to find in these ORGs. If I screwed something up between us, I’m genuinely sorry about that and would love to talk it out afterwards.

AMIR: *wendy_williams_with_the_hat_over_her_head_gif*  you did not deserve what happened to you in this game, i hope you believe me when i say I was super super happy to see that you’ve been cast in this game, and assumed from the moment of cast reveal that we would be working closely together. We connect well, we had a lot of important conversations and both being gay poc and our experiences and I always felt that we would be great allies. Unfortunately in the game, the round where you were getting voted out, I actually wanted you to stay but all my closest allies did not and I felt like being a leader in that round was not what's best for my game. I was upset to lose you way earlier than I wanted to and I hope you know me not warning was never personal, and i really hope you’ll want to be friends afterwards b/c I definitely do Autumn: My bb :( I STILL LOVE YOU BUT YOU KNOW HOW I AM!!! I can’t be tamed lmao and I just felt really suffocated by our alliance and paranoid about us having been together the whole game. Devon lowkey came between us on Thoth and I felt like you were jealous that I was close to someone else so when you got Devon to vote me back on Thoth I was really shook. Idk it felt like a warning shot, that you and Scott would basically dangle me off a cliff for no reason so I knew what had to happen. Then the alliance with Jordan and TJ happened and you didn’t fuck with Ali and Adam and I was like oooop I need to cook something up. Then I really started aligning with other people at merge (Jakey, Amir, Augusto, etc.) and I was like ok I need to cover my tracks. And Idk there were just a lot of weird moments where you voted TJ captain first but wanted me to convince everyone else to do Adam, you protecting Jordan during the immunity challenge and cutting Augusto’s rope only for you to force Devon to cut Jordan’s rope, lying to Adam about targeting him- so I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew I was trying to go deep in this game and I felt like we couldn’t go any further together so I put the vote on you and it became unanimous since a lot of people were hurt by all the lies you told. So whew that’s the tea but you always said if I ever killed you, I better win and here we are lol and I hope I continue to make you proud

TJ: Devon – Ah, Slithers! I was so excited to reconnect with you because there was so much unfinished business between us after Guyana. There was so much we could have done that game, and I was glad to at least get a small taste of that in this game. I wish we had met before merge so that we didn’t have to throw something together right at merge. Your elimination was a blessing in disguise for me, because it was that round or the round before that I started becoming weary of the fact you were telling things to others you said you had only told me, so maybe it was good? You’re a strategic genius and I truly think you’d win if you came back one more time.

AMIR: Oh my god Devon you were always a confusing one for me, I felt quite close to you for a lot of this entire game and for a good portion of it, I actually felt quite loyal to you. When I met you at one world, we instantly clicked as people and I was excited for you to get back into the game and we were tight from that point on. At merge, things started getting complicated and at some point, I truly did start to get intimidated by your social game and how calculated you were about every single decision. I definitely was not the driving force behind your vote off but I also did not do much to try and stop it, overall tho, you protected me a bunch of times in this game over and over and I’m not ignorant to that and I’m thankful for that time we had as allies and friends mr 95% top Autumn: Girl what the fuck hahaha. I have half the nerve to leave the message with that but you’re lucky I still love you. To this day I have no clue why you turned on me and I was always loyal to you. So many people talked shit about you but I continued to give you the benefit of the doubt and forgive you. And I genuinely wanted to go to the end with you, Amir, and Augusto (or you, me and Ali) and had you actually believed me, you would be sitting here instead of me. But then you tried it and got the whole tribe to lie to me and if that wasn’t bad enough, you were coming at me for believing you were the rat (even though you, Amir, and Augusto were intentionally covering Kendall’s tracks) and saying you had my back no matter what. So between that and realizing that you were intentionally trying to put me on the bottom of the tribe is why I put a hit on you. I was truly never coming for you until you gave me a reason. So yes I was in my bag about it then but it’s all good now and I’m now back to thinking you’re a sweet, funny guy who deserves nice things. I miss the good ole days on Thoth ugh when we just call and laugh and make fun of everyone but alas. ALSO THANK YOU FOR CUTTING THE WRONG ROPES!! It’s one of my favorite moments of the game and it makes my day every time I think about it lmao I really need all the laughs I can get these days. Unless you actually have been rooting for me this whole time and you cut your allies’ ropes intentionally??? I can’t wait to finally hear that story hahaha

TJ: Ali – I need to start by apologizing for not replying the last hour-ish before your elimination. You are such a high caliber player – potentially the highest of caliber – that I didn’t want to give you any more information to possibly spook you and change what you and Jakey had talked about. You were someone I knew from the getgo that I couldn’t let you get far, and yet you cease to amaze me in your ability to be so freaking likeable and get far in these games. I will never forget doing the name scramble with you and I truly wish every challenge could have been that.

AMIR: WHHEWW weeeee i have so much respect for you, you have no idea. Like okay I never had met you but I knew that you were a godly player due to bbpokemon, but I never judge based on placements, but playing in this game with you confirmed that. Tbh tbh we were never gonna work out as loyal allies because you scared the absolute shite out of me as a player and had a damn toybox of powers, but i am glad that this game gave me the opportunity to get to know you as a person and ive come to really really like you. You were a force in the game but also super nice and respectful to everyone the entire way through and i can only admire that, and after like literally years of just hearing about you i get why everyone loves u

Autumn: I CAN’T DO THIS. I cannot cry over you twice in this game I really cannot. I cannot articulate the guilt I felt watching you die when you didn’t have to. I go back to that moment where you gave your negator power to Adam in case you died and it crossed my mind to tell you to play the idol on yourself because I just had a weird feeling. And like- we were right we knew we wouldn’t be able to do this whole game together because Auli is too powerful. But I just thought we had more time together. You really are like a brother to me and when you died, Adam and I called and he did all the talking for a good 15 minutes because I was on the other end just crying. But! This means you’ve joined the elite cause the only other allies I’ve MOURNED are Ned and Eddie. I just love how you are literally the nicest person but constantly have everyone shaking in their boots. Like the way all these people had a hard-on trying to get you out like 3 rounds in a row is just so powerful ugh. King of living rent free in everyone’s minds! Idk it would’ve been too good to be true for us both to go to the end but you  are truly a legend and I’m grateful for literally any time I get with you and I REALLY wouldn’t be here without your idol sis so your spirit really did live on

TJ: Jakey – Day One I really thought that you and I would be at the end of this game together. And even throughout that entire merge, despite a few ups and downs we both had, I really saw us sitting here together. It sucks that we got blindsided together and I didn’t have that chance to save you, but I am so glad that we were able to connect the way we did. Our dynamic in having information from both sides of the house was perfect for both of us, even if it was your downfall. I was not kidding when I told you after Jordan left that I still had your back and that I wanted to get us to the end. 

AMIR: I am so glad I got to meet you in this game because you literally became one of my fav people ever in the span of a month, and you know I love you. You’re someone I plan on being tight with for a very long time and have come to care about you so much, and we ended up calling like every single day for hours. You not being in the game anymore always did feel weird afterwards since you were essentially my other closest ally in terms of how you knew just about everything about my game and were kind of like a sounding board for me. I didn’t fully trust you sometimes, and I often think back to a “what if” and if we both could be here rn if my ass decided to take that risk and fully commit to this alliance and 100% trust you, but when this game is over, our nightly late night calls are probably going to be the main thing I remember and I am so appreciative that I got the chance to get to know you and become as close we did ❤️

Autumn: LMAO now see when you do clownery… I have so much respect for you and you are truly brilliant but girl you do too much haha and you know I’m OLD. I can’t do the back and forth and watching someone play both sides and have this je ne sais quoi energy about fucking everyone’s games up, allies included. Fam if you had waited to kill Ali ONE MORE ROUND, this game would’ve been yours. You had Amir and TJ whipped, you would’ve had me, Adam, and Kendall powerless, and Augusto would’ve kept chilling. But no I had to avenge Ali so me and Adam got to work and came up with a bunch of lies and truths to get you out and the kids ate it UP. But anyway, you’re still my son, you will bounce back, and I’m rooting for you in everything you do.  You’re hilarious and perceptive and cracked and I told all the POC’s every round you were the only white boy I would actually vote for hahaha and I mean that

TJ: Adam – My biggest personal regret is not getting to talk to you more and at least get to know you more on a personal level. You always seemed so sweet and we talked about a decent bit, but I don’t think I ever put my best foot forward to build that connection since we were never on the same side. You are such a kind, sweet guy and I wish more guys were like you. 

AMIR: Hello hunty, I think out of everyone in this cast, you are the first person I had ever met and it goes way way way back...like 2014 back. Our relationship is this game was…. ICONIC and messy to say the least. I was always a huge fan of your blog back then, and never thought we’d both end up on the beauty tribe. I honestly saw so much potential for us being super close allies, and at some point, I considered you my closest ally during day 1-2. The issue was the creation of an alliance without you in it, and then that alliance targetting you and you getting word of it which just kinda set us on the wrong foot from the very beginning because you didn’t trust me and I was anxious about that. It was literally all just shitty circumstances because bible i literally wanted to work with you so bad. We eventually set things straight again, but due to alliance lines, previous mistrust, and the people we were both working with, we ended up being on opposite sides and never were able to work out on a strategic level despite the fact that we always meshed well on a personal level, it was unfortunate but also kind of an iconic rivalry/alliance thing that was going on

Autumn: MY BABY!!! When you died I was just numb and I miss you so much. That happening right after I finally won immunity was just cruel and my system short circuited. We had a million alliance chats and just like that the house was empty and it’s just been quiet all the rounds since. Tbh I was triggered cause I was ALONE alone in Crossroads so when you died I was just sitting at Final 5 with the idol like awww shit here we go again haha. You are one of the funniest, kindest, most loyal, and most authentic players I’ve ever met and your social game is TOP SHELF sir. Watching you lie and finesse and manipulate people round after round actually cleared my skin. In my mind, I always referred to you as the Mad Hatter because you always had tea and you always had something brewing on the stove haha. I miss our conversations so much and I really wouldn’t be here without all the trust you put in me and for being like “giiiirrrl you need to get on the blog RIGHT NOW.” You know I can make hoes mad all by myself haha but it was at its best when you were by my side

TJ: Augusto – I want to mirror what you said about me in your goodbye message. You are so pure, you are so likeable, you are such a king when it comes to the social game. I didn’t think our games would gel that much coming into this game, but once we got over the little hump that was the first couple rounds of merge, I really clicked with you and enjoyed meeting you this game. I wish we had followed the plan and you’d still be here over Amir, but ‘tis the game.

AMIR:  This is probably the hardest one to write because you have been my partner in crime and my closest ally since day 1 in this game, and I truly did want to go to the end with you and Kendall. You kept me sane for like the majority of the game and I 100% could not have made it here without you. I am not going to diminish the impact that you had on this game and how big of a factor you were in my survival. I have never lied or kissed ass when I said I believed you played one of the strongest games by far. As a person, I love you and you know I mean that and have enjoyed your friendship a lot over the past month, and really really hope we’ll be friends after this game. The game does not feel the same without u there and i miss your dumb gay memes that make me cackle, and im sorry for how things ended up, I truly felt like at that point, it was me going home or u, and i chose to pick me. I don’t want to dwell but I also don’t want to invalidate how badly I screwed you over and how you get to be mad for it. i cant wait 2 talk to u after the game  

Autumn:Lmaaaaooo listen. That whole thing was one of the most cracked things I’ve ever done in my entire org career and Iiiiii don’t wanna get into it here but I will so that miss Amir can’t take credit for it hahaha. Basically…. what had happened was… I was very much going to idol Amir out but he randomly came into my pm’s after TJ won immunity and begged that we work together and that I spare him if I had the idol even though he had just killed Adam. And it took a lot of convincing but I thought about how well positioned you were to go to the end with anyone so I said: yes Amir but I’m killing Augusto which means you’re going to tell the beauties you have the idol since everyone has to vote me. Meanwhile TJ was talking to me and being very straight up that it was between me and Amir/ it was based on who had the idol. So I threw Amir under the bus and said everyone was giving the game away to him and that TJ was no better for always talking shit but never doing anything about it. And he kept trying to corner me into saying I had the idol and that “everyone was still concerned” so I got tired of going back and forth and was just like lemme go address everyone in the tribe cause I’m not doing this all day when I know I’ll be at Final 4 no matter what. So that’s when I gave a monologue in the tribe chat about how everyone should be honest with me and that there’s no point in lying when I’m essentially a sitting duck. Then you and Kendall admitted to voting me, which allowed me to a) play the idol correctly and b) split you and Amir. Tbh I just felt like you had the best spot in the game because the whole round it like never crossed your mind that you could die and I was like oop hold my beer. Meanwhile you had talked shit about Amir’s game to me more than once so I started twisting the knife on him and when you weren’t talking to him as much, Amir really got paranoid and was like they’re gonna kill me soon I just know it I’m all in. So that’s the tea. But! You know it was strictly game because I adore you and I legit called you more than anyone in this cast haha. I just got spooked about you getting any deeper in the game. You have a great heart and I hope we can still be friends after this because you’re an amazing person and I’ll always be here for you

TJ: Kendall – You haven’t even been gone for 24 hours and I already miss your lunatic history facts! I never expected to meet someone in this game who I truly understood and care about in this game, and that’s exactly what I found starting very early in that merge with you. You are so freaking quirky, but so am I so I get it completely. I wish everyone in this game got to see how amazing you were and how you were completely robbed from being able to make the finals with me. I truly think I met a friend for years to come with you, and I’m so grateful for that. (Also ps, apparently we had a flirtmance going according to the other two… I wasn’t aware of this, lol).

AMIR: This is interesting because I kinda already messaged you yesterday right before the vote with everything I have to say, in the end, you have the right to feel how you feel and your reactions are 100% valid. I apologize for lying to you and blindsiding you, It was not an easy decision and I own it, and even writing this right now is quite difficult because I want to talk about the hilarious and amazing times we had together and make it a cute rop, but I know the wounds are still fresh and I know you said you are not happy with me rn and I would not want to act oblivious to your current emotions. Maybe if I make it to jury or FTC, you will be able to say everything you want to say to me and we can move on from there and pick up where we left off,

Autumn: Sis I don’t even know where to begin with you haha. Because we were never allies or even friends lmao but we always had mutual respect for each other the whole game and just tried to stay out of each other’s way. I do genuinely believe you get a bad wrap for no reason and people talked a lot of shit about you for no real reason. And I love that both the women in the game were despised but for different reasons haha. You were playing a good game tbh and even though I really considered sitting beside you at the end, it frustrated me that you (like Augusto) felt like you were guaranteed to be at the end and you were essentially the prettiest girl at the dance and meanwhile I had to fight for my life every single round since Final 6. So I was like ok if sis really wants to go to the end, then she’ll pull up and meet me at firemaking haha. Amir went back and forth about the whole thing and legitimately told me he was voting me earlier that day but I got in his head and I said you know damn well they will clip you at Final 3 no hesitation so unless you want this whole game to have been for nothing, you need to just send me to firemaking and if Kendall wins she wins and if I win I win. So, it was strictly strategic for me because there was no way for you, me, and Amir to all make final 3 and you and TJ were very transparent about voting me lol. But anyway! Thank you for your humor and patience and constant forgiveness throughout this game and your incredible knack for manipulating men. I salute you and I’m glad we got to meet

Amir: Tj tj tj oh wow oh wow, I literally feel like our relationship is like the disappointed dad (you) and me being the rebellious child who keeps promising to straighten myself out and then keeps up my fuckery. Anyway, it was a pleasure playing this game with you, you were kind to everyone, had a huge underdog hero arc, and you were probably the person who was onto my antics the most. Somehow after every vote, you’re like “I hate u but I get it so I still like u” and it was just a very wholesome hilarious relationship that I’ve had this whole game. You had me shaking during that final “autumn take me” riff raff and you deserve to be sitting in this spot just as much as I do

Autumn: Oh boy- not to be dramatic but killing you, my favorite adversary, wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be. Listening to you talk last night made me realize how much heart you had put into the game and I felt really compelled to give you a chance to vouch for yourself at FTC just out of respect. But I know how allies get and I didn’t see a whole pocket of jurors voting for me over you when they had probably been rooting for you the whole game. So once my laptop died last night haha and I was sitting with my notes, it came down to a) leveling the playing field amongst the jurors, b) trying to picture what jury would really value, and c) how persuasive you are. If you could do aaaaaall that off the record to save your game, I knew you were gonna bring it at FTC. But it’s not the same without you. I have no one to tease, no one to call out, no one’s business to air, no one’s game to undermine lmao- it’s too quiet, everyone’s dead. The reason I love our relationship so much is because we think very similarly so our elaborate multi-round game of cat and mouse game gave a lot amusement and frustration but most importantly focus. We are literally the movie Catch Me If You Can and you’re were always watching me scam everyone and do the most and no one wants to listen to you so you take it upon yourself to chase me yourself round after round. And I was always watching you and egging you on and doing everything I could to throw you off my tracks haha. You’re my Tom Hanks and I’m your Leo and a lot of people made it easy on me but you never did and I have a lot of respect for that. You never miss a beat and you have fantastic instincts so after all this time, I can finally say I am a TJ fan, fedora and all

[sherlockmonkeesstartrek]

aw dear i hope everything's alright :O you can talk to me if you want. i don't know what to request, but what about some good old Beatles, maybe a cute fluffy early days Starrison? haven't read that in a while. i'm sorry i can't think of anything else. I hope you'll feel better soon my dear!

Hi my Luv. Everything is ok. I hate to be the type who complains on tumblr about my woes, so I thought I’d turn it into something positive. This has ended up longer than expected, so I haven’t finished it, but I hope you like it. 

The Chance to be Alone

Neither Richie nor Georgelived in the kind of home they could invite the other to. That was the sadthing really. Sure, George’s parents wouldn’t have minded much if he’d broughtRichie over, but with all his siblings, that wouldn’t really be fair. And Richie’sparents were a little too overbearing, even if he did live in the kind of placehe would be cool with inviting George to. Basically, they were in this paradoxwhere the only time they got to spend together was when they were playing atthe same joint. And they certainly didn’t get alone time.

Money was short, so when theycome into some, they didn’t get to use it. It went to their families instead.So, this, this was a very special occurrence, one Richie kind of felt guiltyabout. This money probably could’ve gone to the family. They’d done so much forhim, sacrificed so much for him. And what was he doing? He was sacrificing themto spend a night with his friend. What kind of a son would do that?

But he scolded himself forthat thought, because honestly, he didn’t really do all that much for himself.And this wasn’t a life-changing amount of money. It was enough to buy a hotelroom for one night. A shitty hotel room in Liverpool, their home city.

They weren’t getting far awayfrom home. They weren’t going on holiday. But they were leaving the worldbehind for one night, just one night.

Oh, but Richie hadn’t toldGeorge yet. He thought he’d make it a surprise. He thought of the smile onGeorge’s face, one with his little vampire teeth showing. That would be areward enough for the night. That seemed to make this little sacrifice of moneyworth it. He couldn’t wait to tell him.

The area Richie lived in waspretty rough. He kept his head down and walked fast. His mum had worried abouthim leaving the home without her. It didn’t matter to her that he was probablyold enough to go out when he pleased. He was a boy that, in her eyes, reallydidn’t need to get into any trouble. He’d been a sickly boy, as she’dconstantly remind him. He wasn’t well, she’d tell him. Well, his health didn’treally have an effect on him, and it wouldn’t make all that much of adifference if he was mugged. Without anything worth stealing- save for themoney in his back pocket at that moment- he’d probably get roughed up no matterwhat. And having lived around there all his life, he wasn’t afraid. Very littlecould stop him from going to George’s house.

It always seemed noisy andfull of music at George’s, whether it was playing or not. His mum loved music.

Richie strode up to the door,which was open, and politely knocked on it. He wasn’t just going to walk in.That would be something John Lennon would do, bloody arrogant guy, thought heowned every home of his friends. Not that Richie had anything against him.Actually, he liked John. He probably just got the wrong impression from otherpeople. Of what he heard from George, who knew him better anyway, he wasn’tthat bad a guy. Though George would probably say that arrogant is a good wordto describe him.

Richie, in comparison, wasquiet and gentle and certainly polite. He waited on the doorstep for a coupleof long minutes, soon realising his knocks hadn’t been heard, but out of fearof annoying his friends and family, he didn’t knock again. It was instead bychance that George himself, the slender thing dressed in a plaid shirt twosizes too big for him and trousers that hung off his hips, walked passed theopen door and saw Richie standing there. He paused and smiled so friendly. Morefriendly that he would have afforded anyone else.

“What yeh doing out there?”He asked.

Richie smirked. This is whathe had been waiting for. He’d decided that he didn’t see George enough. Seeinghim when he was with the rest of the Beatles or when he was hanging aroundcertain pubs, just didn’t satisfy him. And he didn’t turn up like this enougheither. He thought, then and there, it might be worth doing it more often,especially when George seemed quite pleased.

“Coming to see you.”

“No, I mean what yeh doingoutside?”

“I’m not staying long.” Hesaid with a smile, “And I’m hoping on taking you with me when I leave. Do yehthink your mum will have a problem if yeh stay the night?”

George suddenly neared thedoorway, lowering his voice, but the smile on his face told Richie he was allup for it.

“Are yeh serious? At yours?”

“No. At a hotel.”

His eyes then widened.

“How did yeh manage to swingthat?”

“Don’t ask. Now, go and getyour things”

George didn’t have to be toldtwice, even though he worried. Hotel rooms cost money, and he had none, so wasRingo going to pay for him? No way, he didn’t like that. Course it was sweet ofthe boy, typical Richie, but George knew he wouldn’t be able to pay him back.It wasn’t fair.

Still, he also felt as thoughhe couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to let Richie down like that, just becauseof his ow pride and politeness. He ran upstairs and packed a bag full of achange of clothes and a pack of cards. He also snuck into the kitchen to takesome bread.

“Hey mum!” He called fromthere, “Richie’s here. Can I stay at his?”

He didn’t really hear thereply. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure where his mum was. He just heard areasonably positive tone as he rushed to the door and joined Ringo in walkingdown the street.

They didn’t have a hotel inmind. They just started walking and hoped they might come across something.They considered catching the bus, but that cost money too. They were happyinstead to walk with each other, where ever their feet may take them, because,for once, they were alone, they had no excuse to hang out together other thanthe fact that they wanted to. For once, they were two friends, just hangingout.

Well, friends… Both boyswished it could be more. After being around John and Paul for so long, the twoguys in George’s band, they kind of got wind of this idea that guys could fancyguys. And then then sort of noticed just how attractive guys could be. Richienoticed George’s pleasantly slender body, his evil little mouthless smiles andshaggy handsomeness. He also loved watching the boy play guitar, as it seemedthere was nothing Georgie could get more pleasure out of then coaxing gorgeoussounds from that instrument.

And George was totally takenby Ringo’s huge blue eyes. He also liked the way he looked in leather, hishair, the rings he wore, but it was those eyes, those eyes that melted George’sotherwise stole cold heart. As he walked along beside the drummer, he sometimeslooked up and caught his gaze, and just seeing the blueness of them, made himsmile.

“What?” Richie chuckled,“What are yeh laughing at?”

“Not laughing.” George said,as though he was lying. He wasn’t at all, but to tell his mate that he wasgazing into his eyes, that was far too cheesy for his liking.

 “Yeah yeh are! What areyeh finding so funny? Do I make yeh laugh?”

“Yes.” George shot back,quite genuinely, “But in a good way.”

 “Oh good, that’s notworrying at all.”

“Worrying?”

“Ok, not worrying…” Hetrailed off. He wasn’t really sure what to say, nor what he wanted to say. Herolled his bright blue eyes and reached out to grab George’s tiny shoulders.Clumsily, he drew him into a sort of manly embrace, though he was sure, for a moment,he got dangerously close to pressing a kiss on his cheek. He wondered if Georgehad even noticed.

Judging by the pink colouringhis pale cheeks, he thought that he might have. But neither acknowledged it.

Had George noticed the wayRingo had gotten almost a little to intimate? No, he hadn’t, but any touch,like the affectionate hug he’d been pull into, was enough to make him blush.God, even if he wasn’t in love with this boy- which he was starting to fear wasthe case- he did love him, like a brother, like the closest mate he’d ever had.He hadn’t even realised he’d possessed so much love within him, but for Richie,he did. He couldn’t even explain it.

And now he felt as though hewas becoming as bad as the cheesy love ballads his band avoided singing.

 Theywalked for a while, until their legs hurt. Then they found a pub with roomsthey could rent. The place was pretty rough, people in there drinking earlyenough to suggest to the boys that they’d been there for much of the day. Itwasn’t the ideal place to ask for one room to share, but Richie cared not. He’dtake the prejudices and slurs. He’d shoot every person a dirty look. For allthey knew, these two boys could be brothers, yet they’d think the worst,because they were too drunk to have a clear thought.

At thebar, George tapped Richie on the back.

“Justgoing to the loo.”

“Alrightmate. Don’t be too long.” He chuckled back. As George left, Richie caughthimself watching, fondly. He convinced himself it was to ensure he got to theloos safely, though was sure if anyone else saw that, they’d probably guessthat he was certainly not that boy’s older brother. He couldn’t help smiling tohimself, an inner voice practically screaming that he’d finally done it, he wasfinally going to get time alone with Georgie.

Andhe knew how that sounded. If George was a girl and Richie had booked a hotelfor them both, the implication would be that they would have sex. The thoughthadn’t even crossed his mine. Well, this one had. Course, he knew what it may’veseemed like, even to George (he so hoped George didn’t think anything of it.)But he hadn’t thought of having sex with George that night. That wasn’t whatthis was about. He’d hardly even told George of his deeper feelings really. Itwas sort of an unspoken mutual understanding they both had. They didn’t need tosay it.

No,this night was literally a chance to be with George for longer than a couple ofminutes, before swarms of people joined them.

“Oneroom, please.” Richie told the owner of the bar. The man was a red faced, hardlooking guy who seemed to judge everyone quite openly. He may not have seenRichie come in with George, but Richie felt as though he was judging him forthat, those dark eyes of his narrowing as he took Richie’s money.

Therewas some left over. Richie hadn’t exactly thought of dinner or anything likethat. He’d literally just thought of getting into a hotel room and hanging outwith his little mate. But now he had some money, just a little, just enough for…

“CouldI also have a sandwich?”

He wantedto be quick. He wanted it to be a surprise for George. Bet he wasn’t expectinga whole night out. The owner shrugged and pissed off into the tiny, grubbylooking kitchen as Richie reclined against the counter. He was feeling quitesmug, treating this boy. Ok, this really was worth spending his well-earnedmoney on something a little less… responsible for once.

Thankfully,the sandwich came before George came back, so Richie stuffed the thing into a loadof tissues and hid it under his jacket. In his hand, he clung to the hotel key;his one chance at privacy with his friend, the one chance to block out theworld.

“Alright?”

Hehad been so excited, so distracted by the thought of getting into the room thathe’d hardly noticed George’s return.

“Oh,yeah, do yeh want to get going?”

Georgelowered his voice. Ringo understood why. “Yeh got a room?”

“Yeah.Come on.”

Therewas no second floor. All the rooms were in a second part of the pub, and therewas only around three, none of which seemed occupied. The two boys could guesswhy as they got into their room. The covers on the narrow bed didn’t seem to beclean, the carpet was covered in so many stains that its normal colour was inpatches and the en-suite, which they did actually have, was grotty. Propergrotty.

Still,it was a room. It was their room that night. A soon as the door closed, theydidn’t care what they could hear or see of the outside world, because they’dlocked it out. For once, they were the only ones in the entire world thatmattered…

…andthey quickly realised they had no idea what to do.

“Sooo,”George hummed as he hazarded sitting on the bed. It dipped beneath him to suchan extent, he felt as though he would be swallowed by the mattress, “What’s up?”

Richiesmiled. Throwing the hotel room key on the rotting bedside table, he shrugged. “Areyou hungry?”

Georgedidn’t know how to reply. He was always hungry, but saying yes would mean thatRichie would probably find him some food. He’d already bought them a room, thatwas all George could allow.

IfRichie had not already spent his leftover cash on a sandwich, which he producedbefore George could formulate an answer. Staring down at it, George was stunnedinto silence.

Itwas just a sandwich. It shouldn’t have meant all that much. If anything, thehotel room was a bigger gesture than a bloody sandwich which Ringo could’vemade at home for all George knew (ok, he knew that Ringo hadn’t been hidingthat thing under his jacket the whole time, but that wasn’t he point.) YetGeorge took it as though Richie was handing him a new guitar.

“You…”

“Ithought yeh might get hungry.” Richie said quite casually as he took up a seaton the opposite side of the bed. George held it in his long-fingered hands. Hefelt truly undeservingly spoiled. He felt simultaneously guilty and utterlyflattered.

He wishedhe had some way of showing Richie how much this meant to him, but the best hecould think of was, “Share?”

BeforeRichie could reject the offer, which George knew he would do, George thrusthalf of it into his friend’s hands and stuffed a mouthful into his own face, asif to say ‘no take backs.’

Aftereating, George drew out a pack of cards.

“Whatare we playing for?” He laughed.

Richietapped his coat, as if checking for money, or something to play for. Of course,he had nothing. And neither did George. Or so they thought.

“How’sabout we play for a kiss?”

Richiedidn’t hesitate, “Sure. If I win, I get to kiss you.”

“Andif I win,” George laughed, “I get to kiss you.”

Neitherwere sure if the other really meant it, but somewhere inside them, it was nojoke. George had suggested it, because he wanted some kind of intimacy withRichie, to show him, if he couldn’t tell him, how much he meant to him, whichwas certainly beyond his vocabulary by then. Richie agreed because he thought,why not? Why not try the whole intimacy thing, to see how far his attraction ofGeorge went?

Andwith this win-win situation, they were going to find out either way.

“Bestof three?” George suggested.

Richieknew he was never all that good at cards, and George was a big cheater. Once,when he was playing with a mixture of the Beatles and the Hurricanes, George somehowproduced 6 Aces. 6! Not even one more than should be in a pack, but two! Andhow they missed it, Richie will never know, as the design on the back of thecards were totally different to the pack they were playing with.

Hedid, however, manage to bag the first game. The other two, as was expected,went to George, who smirked, glimpsing Richie as he collected the cards. He wasrecalling the wager. Did Ringo really mean it? Would he really…?

“So…”George hummed, “This kiss.”

“Yeah?”Richie replied, filing the cards into a neat pile, nervously.

“Arewe actually…?”

“Well,you have to… you have to kiss me.”

“True.Do you mind…?”

“Whywould I mind?”

Theawkward politeness had gone on long enough, George decided. It was just makinghim even more nervous. Because he was actually going to do this. Richie wasstill playing with the cards, shuffling them, the rings on his fingers glintingin the low light. George took the opportunity, as Richie’s attention wasn’t onhim, to turn towards him, kneel on the bed and lean down. He caught Richie’s fulllips with his own, quickly, chastely. And for that brief touch, his eyesfluttered closed. When he opened them, sitting back beside him, Richie was halfsmiling, staring at him with those bright, stunned eyes.

“Thatwas nice.”

“Thatwas.”

[peacefulwriter88]

Space in Between - Part 2

A/N: Remember this old gem? Sorry it’s been a while – because I work for a school district work comes in tides and waves. Things have slowed down a wee bit that I can dedicate my luv to this sweet little space nerd. Also I might post part 3 after the 2:00 NFL games....

Warnings: None yet :) 

Tag List:  @sleepretreat @lancetucker @xxhuffelpuff-girlxx

Day 1

It was wearing on him. He looked down at the neat, signed papers resting on his desk, looked at the perfect penmanship of his wife – correction his ex-wife – signature and re-read the words staring up at him from the page.

He didn’t know how it had ended like this.

He had wanted to make her happy, make his son proud. But she couldn’t handle his obsession of space, still constantly needed to unveil all of its mysteries with their family. Didn’t want to deal with the disappointment anymore. Even after she moved back North, he had followed her. Tried to work their marriage life. Tried to lead a normal life.

But it hadn’t worked. He had found the whole situation dull and she knew it. It wasn’t like him. He wanted to continue to push the continuum, not settle down and read about it.

So, a year and a half ago they separated. Three months later, he was delivered divorce papers.

He tried therapy. Tried reconnecting with her. But her mind was made – divorce. Not only was the process shamefully painful, but it was also a prolonged son of a bitch.

These were the last papers after the meetings with lawyers, after hundreds of emails and even more calls. After strained smiles and moving out. After rebuilding his life alone. He had his son, of course, but only twice a weekend and one Wednesday. Elijah was still only two, still too young to understand the consequences of their decisions and he wanted to maintain some normalcy around that.

He looks back down at the papers, sighing deeply before picking up his pen and signing his name on the crisp line. He pushed the paper back into the envelope before licking it closed, the dark letters of the law firm peering back at him.

The past three years of his life was disappearing in the form of ink and paper.

Life was a son of a bitch.

Day 7

It was only a week, but as he sat in his apartment, a cold beer in his hands as he looked down at the book in his hands he knew there was a problem.

Beth didn’t have a problem bouncing back. According to Alex and his fiancé, she was doing just fine. Barely made eye contact with him when he picked Elijah up, barely acknowledged him when he dropped Elijah off. Her hair was different. Cut short, framing the fine features of her face. She had color back in her cheeks and smiled more.

She was probably seeing someone.

That was what had caused this distraction. He wanted to move on and couldn’t.

Day 17

Autumn was coming. You could smell it in the air, feel it when you walked from building to building on the large campus. His senses were coming back again. Food wasn’t bland anymore. Was chilled when the east coast air flew in.  His brain started applying things he saw in real life to how they could function in space. He laughed at dumb jokes Alex, or Mark or Rick called.

He was starting to feel like him.

Day 25

It was too soon. It was a month into the semester, a month into his inherited role as professor of Environmental Sciences. He had adjusted to his role on campus – half professor, half infamous astronaut that had been one of the few who had gone to Mars. He shielded away from his celebratory status, trying to deny talking at any events or going to any special dinners. Trying to keep to himself as he tried to figure out what the hell he wanted to do next.

And then you had happened.

It had been in late September, a few weeks before homecoming. He hadn’t forgotten about you, hadn’t forgotten about the way you had shed light to his celebrity.

But now you were different.

You were attentive. You came to class over-prepared, your laptop at the ready as your eyes followed him throughout the classroom. You pushed back on theories that he synopsized about, providing new solutions. You questioned everything, wanted to know everything.

At first, he had thought it was a child’s crush. A lot of the women (and men) had made it obvious they were attracted to him. Alex even teased you about it, also working on campus on a few science projects.

“Every woman on this campus, student and faculty alike, are curious about Dr. Chris Beck.” He would coo, resulting in a soft punch or a chuckle.

It was flattering but it was the last thing on his mind.

Until there was you.

You weren’t asking dumb questions, like everyone else would after class. You would dig to the root, genuinely curious as you shuffled through your piles of paper, presenting them to him as he tried to pack up. When you showed up to his office hours, it was with articles on articles that ran parallel to lessons he was teaching in application to what it would look like in space.

And that was what drew him in.

You were just as obsessed about it as him. You would bite your bottom lip as you shuffled through papers, looking at your laptop trying to spot differences as your free hand would write out equations. Your eyes would furrow together, your hair falling in your face as you absently pushed it aside. The way your face would light up, jumping in enthusiasm as you would point out something to him.

It had him excited. Had his blood pumping to do just as much research – wanted to gauge your response when he brought up something new to you.

Had him looking forward to class. And he knew that was a problem.

Perhaps he needed a hobby. Or get laid.

He probably just needed to get laid.

Day 31

You were wearing mustard. It was a color he didn’t have any opinion on before until he saw it on you. Mustard patterned dress that accentuated your breast and stopped a little above your knees. Intricate designed tights that stuck to your skin like it was a part of them. High brown boots that moved past your calf. Your hair was thrown up in a bun as you laughed alongside the two friends you always came to class with, finding your seat as he brushed through the pages.

He cursed himself again.

Freshly divorced and barely halfway through his first month teaching and he was in full heat over you – a student.

He had tried dating. Tried to have casual sex. It was useless because he already knew that he belonged to you.

“Who’s the girl?” Alex had asked, bringing a beer to his lips as Rick quirked up an eyebrow.

“Girl? There’s a girl in newly single Beck’s life?”

Rick had flown in the night before and they had decided to quickly catch up for dinner after work. He had rolled his eyes, falling back in his seat as he shook his head.

“There is no girl. I have no idea what Alex is referring to.”

Rick, always happy to instigate, turns back to Alex who’s shaking his head chuckling.

“You’re full of shit and you know it. Lisa’s been trying to set this guy up with everyone she knows. Every woman so far, who have literally thrown themselves at his feet, haven’t been called back for a second date. Haven’t been invited to his home. So either Beth made you a eunuch or there’s someone else preoccupying your mind”

He had tried to brush it aside, taking a swing of his drink as Rick exclaims,

“You have females throwing themselves at you, newly free and ready to party and you’ve been throwing that away.”

“Listen,” he finally says, their eyes watching him carefully. “I’m not trying to jump back into another relationship. Not trying to just mess around with a woman. Did that enough in my twenties.”

“Now you’re in your mid-thirties and got all the time in the world.” Rick continues and he scoffs.

“I’m just trying to enjoy being with me.”

They had watched him, rolling their eyes before jumping into another conversation. He was grateful, grateful for the distraction as he tried to remind himself of the same thing.

But now you were in his classroom, wearing that damn dress that hit your curves just right, and he was stuck questioning if he was full of shit. He tried to ignore you as you leaned into your friend Mara, turning his attention to the white board. He only gets through half of what he needs to write before he hears your exclaim,

“What!?”

He turns back to the group, sighing before clearing his throat. Perhaps he could feel you out. Maybe you were also just as into him as he was you. He thinks back to the conversation he had earlier with Alex,

“Listen, I wasn’t trying to call you out in front of Rick last night.”

He had shrugged it off, scrolling through his phone while they waited at the coffee cart and Alex sighed.

“Come on – we’re going to dinner this weekend. Will probably go out dancing after. You should come and have a good time. Lisa has this friend ...”

“No more Lisa dates.” He cuts Alex off and Alex chuckles, slapping him on his back.

“Well you gotta get out since you’re a newly single man. Beth’s dating – don’t see why you don’t.”

They take another step forward and he groans, shaking his head.

“Beth’s been dating for months. Good for her. I’m just not sure I’m ready.”

Alex snorts, shaking his head before pointing to his phone. “Please. Let me guess – you were answering a text from that woman you’ve been talking to.” Chris gives a blank stare as Alex continues, “Listen, I know you haven’t blatantly said it out loud but I know there’s another girl because of the signs. You always bring up this mystery woman that you’ve been meeting for coffee to discuss environmental science theories because that’s a thing. You always are checking your phone to see if she’s sending you messages and when she does, you smile. Don’t play dumb with me Beck, I know a crush when I see one.”

He had tried to mask the smile that was inevitably spreading on his face as Alex finishes,

“Just invite her or whatever. Do it for all of us – her included. Sure she’s tired of you leading her on.”

It couldn’t hurt to see. He did like you. And if you weren’t into him, then he could go back to feeling miserable for himself like had been for the past year and focus on his future.