#i gave birth to him ok y'all don't get it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fungifanart · 5 months ago

Text

Checkmate?

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Grim, Yuu!reader, male reader

Cw: Chess *horror movie scream*

Word count: 1.9k

Notes: Look! It's my piece for the @princes-uprising zine! It's been an absolute blast working with everyone, so I hope y'all enjoy our work!

-----------------------------------------------------

Life is one big chessboard.

This is the mindset that Leona has abided by ever since he was young.

It's the easiest way to make sense of the world around him.

People are forever bound to positions given to them upon birth with no hope of changing, such as how a pawn has no hope of becoming a king.

Everyone has a finite amount of actions they can take, which are clearly defined, leaving whether or not they succeed as a matter of skill.

Which also means that luck, too, is calculable and thus, predictable.

Or at least, it should be.

That is, until the school's spelldrive tournament happened and everything fell apart like a harsh wave crashing into a sand castle.

And because of such a stupid plan, too. To this day, Leona is mortified that he got blindsided by such a ridiculous plan, thought up by a magicless herbivore, no less.

Well, there's no way he'll let himself get played like that again.

Much like he did with Azul, Leona decides to observe how the herbivore strategizes.

His plan for knocking the Octavinelle housewarden down a peg gave Leona some good initial insights, such as how he places a LOT of faith in the people who have the shallowest reasons to help actually pulling through. He should consider himself lucky that Leona had a deeper reason to help than what he gave.

But that's not enough for him. Being lucky is not a strategy and clearly not the only factor at play letting a magicless nobody pull the wool over the eyes of TWO separate housewardens. It baffles him to think that both him and that octopunk actually got suckered in by those schemes.

Ok, now Leona's getting angry.

Simple observation isn't enough this time. There's only one way to get to the bottom of this irritating little conundrum.

Portable chessboard in hand, Leona begins the trek to the place the herbivore almost lost with that gamble of his, otherwise known as Ramshackle dorm.

After knocking on the door, Leona hears a ruckus on the other side and the sounds of both the Prefect and his feline companion yelling before the sound of footsteps approaches the entrance.

The door then opens, revealing the Prefect in his infuriatingly enigmatic glory.

"Oh, Leona! Hi! It's great to see you!" He greets the lion warmly, "What brings you here?"

'Figuring out what makes you tick.' Leona thinks to himself, but what he actually says is, "I was bored and thought you'd be able to amuse me with a game of chess."

The simplest of lies, one that any other person at this school would see through and reject instantly, but the Prefect smiles nonetheless.

"Well, I don't know if I can really provide the mental stimulation you're looking for, but if that's how you want to spend your afternoon, then why not, I guess." He responds while stepping to the side to allow Leona in.

Leona pulls up a chair to the table in front of the lounge couch and starts setting up the board as the Prefect rushes to the kitchen for refreshments.

After coming back with water and snacks, the Prefect takes his place on the couch in front of the white pieces leaving Leona with the black.

"Myeh! So how does this 'Chess' thing work, anyway?" Grim asks while hopping up beside the Prefect and shoving chips in his face.

*crunch*

"Well, both players take turns moving one of their colored pieces at a time across the board in an attempt to capture their opponent's king piece. And each piece has its own way of moving to account for," The Prefect answers while picking up one of his pawns and moving it forward one space, "For example, your pawn can usually only move one space up, down or to the side at a time."

"Mm." Leona adds, having already shifted into his focus mode and moving one of his pawns two spaces forward.

*crunch*

"Hey, wait! You just said the pawns can only move one space!" Grim complains between bites in that irritatingly shrill voice of his.

"Pawns can move forward two spaces when it's the first time you're movin' 'em. Next question." Leona explains bluntly while trying to refocus on the board.

"Yeah, what Leona said." The Prefect agrees before picking up his bishop and using it to capture Leona's first pawn, "Next is the bishop that can move as far as it wants, but only diagonally."

Tch, why did he move his pawn there?

*crunch*

The next few turns involve the moving of pawns, but, just when Leona had them lined up to leave the other man's bishop open to his queen, he quickly moves his bishop back to its original spot.

Is that so?

*crunch*

Moving another pawn forward to capture one of his opponent's, Leona then finds said pawn captured by the Prefect’s knight, "Next, we have the knight, which can only move in an L shape in any direction, but is the only piece that can jump over other pieces in its path."

"Whoa, that's cool!" Grim comments before shoving a whole pawful of chips into his mouth, making a loud crunch that makes Leona's ear twitch in annoyance.

"Herbivore, can ya get the furball outta here?" He says, slightly rubbing his temple while sending his rook out to capture the Prefect's rightmost pawn.

"Don't be mean, Leona. Grim's not hurting anyone." The Prefect responds before using his other knight to capture Leona's first rook.

With a slight smirk, Leona uses his other bishop to capture the knight that was left exposed.

*crunch*

The Prefect's eyebrow twitches and Leona notices the kind, calm gaze he'd held since his arrival lose its warmth, becoming more calculating.

Looks like the kid gloves just came off.

*crunch*

The Prefect moves his pawn.

*crunch*

Leona moves his other rook directly downwards.

*crunch*

The Prefect captures said rook with his other bishop.

*crunch*

Leona moves his queen into place--

*crunch*

The Prefect moves his pawn.

*crunch*

Leona uses his queen to capture the other bi--

*crunch*

The Prefect moves his--

*crunch*

Leona captures--

*crunch*

The Prefect moves--

*crunch*

Leona--

*CRUNCH*

Leona pounds his fist onto the table in great frustration at the unceasing sounds of that DISGRACE of a feline chomping away at his chips with no regard for the people trying to focus, "Will ya just can it, ya little runt?!"

"It wouldn’t kill you to be nice for once, you know! The game's almost over, so it doesn't matter much anyway." The Prefect protests, making Leona's eyes widen.

"What...?" He responds before quickly looking back at the board.

Wait.

What?!

Well into his side of the board stands a single white pawn, clear as day, which the Prefect moves into Leona's first rank, setting it up for promotion.

"Well, well. I think I'll be promoting my pawn to a queen." The Prefect says, his face a twisted mirror of the smirk the lion himself had worn not too long ago, "And I do believe that's more or less checkmate!"

Scanning the board again, Leona realizes what the other man means.

He'd never moved his original queen, which left her poised to shut down any attempts to retreat on Leona's part and even if he did escape at first, there's no outrunning two queens with so few pieces left on the board.

He's well and truly trapped.

Begrudgingly accepting his defeat, Leona sighs, "Fine. I surrender."

"Yay!" The Prefect pumps his fist in the air, looking very pleased with himself before reaching into the bowl of chips the little runt had been devouring, finding it empty, "Grim! You know it's rude to eat all of the food meant for everyone! Go to the kitchen and get some more for me and Leona."

The direbeast complies with a disgruntled look on his face as Leona goes over the match in his head to figure out what went wrong.

How did he let himself get cornered like that?

"It’s called 'Misdirection', dearest." The Prefect says smugly, no doubt after reading Leona's expression, "When you keep someone's attention on one thing while you're busy doing something else under their nose?"

"Ok, but when did ya 'misdirect' me, as you so eloquently put it?" Leona fires back, rapidly losing patience.

"Well, technically *I* didn't do anything beyond trusting in those powerful beastman ears of yours." He answers in a way that makes everything click in the lion's brain.

"You had the furball eat those chips so loud that it would distract me from the game?" Leona asks in slight disbelief.

"Yes and no. I really wasn't confident that I'd win on a completely level playing field, so when Grim jumped in, I thought I'd play along and see where it would go." He answers matter-of-factly.

Leona can't believe what he's hearing, "So you're tellin' me that you based your strategy around the whims of a CAT?"

"Isn't that a mark of a good leader, though?" The Prefect tilts his head, "Being able to improvise and pull through when things aren't going as planned, I mean.”

"Ya say that like it's some failsafe 'Get out of jail free' card." Leona says, slightly irritated, "Ya came up with some halfway decent plans in the past, but no amount'a 'improvising' would've saved ya if they went south."

"Wh– says the guy who fell for one of those 'halfway decent plans!'" The Prefect counters, hitting the scar in the lion's pride dead-on, "Look down on my strategies all you want, it doesn't change the fact that they worked!"

"Only because ya skated by on dumb luck!" Leona stands up from his chair, thoroughly offended, "At least I have the sense to not leave the crux of the plan up to chance and 'improvise' if it doesn't work!"

"Well, at least it's better than shutting down and giving up once something goes wrong like you did just now! Like you did at the Spelldrive tournament!!!" The Prefect stands up as well, unyielding to the lion's gaze.

"ARE YA CALLIN' ME A QUITTER, YA MAGICLESS NOBODY?!" Leona practically roars, shoving his forehead against the other man's, uncaring of personal space, but the Prefect stands his ground all the same.

"BETTER A MAGICLESS NOBODY THAN A COWARD PRINCE!!!" The Prefect yells while pushing back and maintaining eye contact.

"WHAT'D YA JUST SAY?!"

"YOU HEARD ME!!!"

"Hey, Henchman! Turns out that was the last of those chips, so I made popcorn instead--" Grim says as he walks in on what may well have turned into a fistfight, "U-uh, what're you guys doing...?"

The Prefect quickly breaks away and sits back down, taking a deep breath to calm himself, "Nothing, Grim. Just a little discussion between friends. Right, Leona?"

"...mm." Is his sole response before sitting back down with a huff as well.

“Are ya sure?? You guys looked like ya were ready to throttle each other!” Grim says while cautiously walking forward and placing the bowl of popcorn on the table.

“Don’t worry, Grim.” The Prefect reassures his companion with a headscratch, “We were talking about what strategies we might use for the next match, isn’t that right?”

‘The next match, huh?’ Leona thinks to himself, initially not interested, but eventually deciding to “see where it goes.”

This was his thought after the first match.

And the second.

And the third.

And the four-- oh, screw it. He's having fun.

He can't really explain why, but playing with the Prefect has caused a fog he didn't know was there to lift from his mind.

It's made Leona realize something he should've known from the start.

A pawn has no hope of becoming a king, but with time, effort and some luck, he supposes, it can still become a queen, which is more than enough to win the day.

"Checkmate.”

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #twst leona #twst grim #twst mc #twst yuu #why is this mushroom writing fanfics?#twst fanzine #the princes uprising #twst x reader #twst x male reader #twst x yuu #twst x you

154 notes · View notes

restinslices · 1 year ago

Note

We going fluffy for a lil? YAY! Can I request EarthRealm guys being dads for the first time?

This is longer than what the Earthrealm guys typically get. Usually they all get around 200 words because writing for them takes longer because it’s 5, but this was so cute I got carried away and they all got around 400-500 words😀

Johnny Cage

A mini Cage? Are you serious?

Can I be honest with y'all? I think this kid would be an accident

Because of that he'd be nervous. Johnny has a huge ego but he also has huge debt and a dwindling career so he'd be worried about how he'd even take care of this child

He'd work extremely hard to get more money. He'd even sell his house to get a smaller one that's more affordable (that's how you know he's serious)

He covers his nervousness with humor. This is a whole human he's gonna be raising now

The closer the delivery date gets, the more nervous he gets. His partner moves a little weird and he's “IT'S COMING!”

Calm down Johnny. Damn.

The entire delivery he's jumpy as fuck. He didn't realize how long it'd take and his nerves are through the roof

Does Johnny have a huge ego? Yes. Is he an asshole? Yes. Does he make everything a joke? Yes. But this is different. There's a human that's relying on him to survive

Everytime he looks at the baby he's like “oh shit, I got a baby”

Baby accidents actually make him cringe. His baby vomits on him and he has to physically stop himself from throwing it

Johnny as a girl dad? Omg.

That's his little princess. Any money he makes goes to her. She has so many unnecessary toys and he dresses her like an actual princess

The baby got its own room from jump

He'll never be against a tea party or a makeover

During those makeovers he's giving pointers. “Don't use that color, it'll clash with my hair” type of shit

Be prepared. No matter how hard you try, this kid is becoming a mini Johnny

He tries to be really active in her life when he's not acting

Has debated on retiring but you need money so that's not happening

You'd think he'd want his kid to become an actor but he knows that shit is not safe so absolutely not

He makes little films with her though. Really cute shit he'll rewatch when she's older

Time to him goes by so fast. He feels like he blinked and suddenly she was 18

He's the dad that gets emotional at her graduation. Straight sobbing as she walks the stage

“I'm a cool dad” *puts on shades*

Ok Johnny

His ability to not take shit serious doesn’t entirely disappear. He’s the parent the child wants the principal to call when in trouble

Little fashion shows? Absolutely

His kid is so spoiled, it's ridiculous. Even if he didn't want a child, he loves them with every part of him

Kenshi Takahashi

Another accident baby-

He's trying to fix this whole clan situation so a baby is not something he was thinking of

So when he's told he's gonna have a baby his heart stops for a quick second

Being terrified is a normal reaction and trust me, he's terrified

He doesn't know how to be a dad at all and videos aren't helping

I know I mention this whole on the run from the Yakuza thing a lot but that's a big ass problem. How do you have a baby when mfs are gunning for you?

Why does he agree to keep it? I ain't think that far but anywho, it's too late now. Too far along-

He tries to prepare himself by looking up videos and reading books. He wants to be an amazing dad for his baby

We don't know how his parents were but I'm assuming his childhood wasn't the best

He promised himself that he's gonna care for this baby and give it a fantastic childhood

Idk how his vision works now tbh. I'm assuming he can always see so I'm guessing that's not a problem

Once the baby is here he's all over it. You'd think he gave birth with how much he's playing with it

I wanna make all of them girl dads tbh and I'm the one writing this soooooo that's what imma do-

Kenshi is making sure everyone is comfortable. His partner and the baby. He's gonna help anyway he can

Having a tiny human depend on him is definitely a wild concept to him

He wants to teach his daughter how to fight but he doesn't want to make her a monster if that makes sense

He wants to make sure she never uses her skills to harm others for no reason and because of that, any school reports about violence is taken seriously

Let that school call him and he's asking 20 questions tryna see who the aggressor was. If his daughter was being harassed and she defended herself then as long as someone wasn't seriously hurt then it's ok. If his daughter was the aggressor? Oh nah

Kenshi is not afraid to lecture and discipline (I don't mean whooping. Whether or not you think any of them would is up to you. I'm not getting into that. Be free) his daughter

His kid is never walking all over him. He don't let them slide with shit

He's harsh but it's in a loving way. He's not on her ass for no reason. He wants her to conduct herself well and to be a good person and better than the people he's been surrounded by. He carries this out by being a bit more harsh and strict than he needs to be

That teenage rebellion phase is gonna kick his ass. Omg

He's strict but I don't think he'd be unsafe for his daughter to go to, yk? His daughter knows she can go to him if she needs anything

If she felt like she couldn't tell him something, his poor little heart would break

I don't think he'd ever take his bandana off around them. Idk how the healing would work but I could imagine it'd still look brutal

So protective of her. Let someone move towards her a little quick, he's on his feet before he even realizes it

He doubts his parenting at time and how safe he can keep her but he's doing a really solid job

Kung Lao

Idk whether or not his baby would be an accident or not

Either way, Kung Lao has a huge ego and he'd assume it can't be that bad

He definitely can figure all this out as he goes along. It'll be easy. Nothing to worry about

He wishes he could go back in time and smack himself for being so stupid

At first it's fine, then he remembers he has to consistently deal with a baby and he's like “I may have miscalculated”

Why do babies shit so much? They're so small.

Terrible Twos have him stressed

When the baby's teething he slowly starts to lose his grasp on reality. All the yelling drives him nuts but he's locked in now

He tries to use his baby as a challenge to keep him motivated but honestly babe, you're never winning that challenge. Babies are unpredictable

He has to learn that. Babies are a learning experience and you can't try to use them as some great challenge. Just relax and take things one at a time

He also teaches his baby how to fight

Makes them a mini hat but puts something non sharp on the edges, like crayons or something

Some may think “oh a daughter! She has to be feminine and sweet and blahblahblah!”

Nah, that's now how it works with him

His daughter is learning some Leon Kennedy moves

After what he's been through he's definitely teaching them how to fight because conflict will always happen. You're never catching his daughter slipping

The dad that asks “did you win?” if his child gets in trouble for fighting at school

Let's his child watch scary movies

He's never doing that bullshit again. She was up all night and he's never regretted anything more

The type to “randomly” decide to sharpen his hat when his daughter brings a boy over

“What are you doing dad?” “I'm sharpening my sharp hat that's sharp enough to cut through humans… because it's so sharp”

Puts “The Great” in front of her name whenever describing her

His daughter probably has a huge ego also. This dude does not teach her to be humble and compliments her when she does anything

You think a mini Johnny is bad? Mini Kung Lao gives them a run for their money.

Raiden

I feel like Raiden would have kids when he's older. Idk why but I think he'd be way more careful than everyone else

So when he hears he's having a baby, he's both nervous and excited

He's on it. Decorating the nursery, reading books, looking at websites, he's on it all.

He wants to be prepared so he doesn't mess up

Messing up is inevitable but don't tell him that

Once the baby is here, he's super happy. The room is already decorated and he's so glad they can lay in there

Super affectionate towards his baby. Constantly kissing her head and playing with her

If any of the other Earthrealm men have a baby, he insists on playdates

Even if they don't, he plays with his daughter enough

The type to actually make his voice higher when playing with dolls

Gives his kid cute nicknames that they'll undoubtedly get embarrassed by when they're older

Are we surprised he also teaches his daughter to fight? No.

He was minding his business and was told he had to help protect Earthrealm. His kid gotta know how to scrap

He keeps a good balance of combat and normal childhood so it's fine

He does little lightning shows for his kid. Is it irresponsible? A little. Is Liu Kang gonna take it back though? No.

Raises a daughter similar to him; soft spoken and sweet but is willing to throw down when necessary

He's the parent that genuinely hears his kid out when they get in trouble

Since this is his first kid he's new to all of this so making mistakes is something that'll happen. Good thing about Raiden tho is that he's willing to apologize when family conflict happens

He takes so many pictures, it's ridiculous

Takes pictures the entire first week of school and is spamming Kung Lao with them

He's really invested in child drama ngl. A kid threw a book at another kid? Tell him more so he can gossip with Kung Lao

Discipline is difficult for him because he honestly doesn't know what to do. He's worried he's being too harsh and doesn't wanna push his kid away. It's common knowledge that they'll grow up, move away and he won't see her as much so he doesn't want to push them away and lose them earlier than necessary

Kids need some sort of discipline though so he gotta figure it out

When his daughter no longer needs him to check the closet for monsters, his heart might shatter a little bit ngl

He's taking it one step at a time and honestly? He's doing really good

Liu Kang

Probably didn't even know he could have kids

He just assumed a keeper of time was outta the game so wdym a baby is on the way?

Liu Kang has watched humans evolve so he's watched plenty of parents raise their babies so he has a lot of references

He's not as nervous as everyone else. Like I said before, he has plenty of references of what to and what not to do so he's pretty confident in his abilities

He's only nervous about the threats they'll face once they're alive. Man is used to fighting for his life

Decorates the nursery and child proofs the entire house

Makes sure his partner is incredibly comfortable. He wants them completely relaxed

He packs the bag for when the delivery happens, he doesn't leave the room unless necessary, he's really supportive.

Once the baby is here he's lowkey hogging the baby

Thinks his partner should be relaxing after so the baby is always in his arms

This baby to him is the most precious thing he's ever seen. Having a family is something he really wants so he's on cloud 9

Watching over his kid to see if they get any powers like him, which is likely

Liu Kang has a good balance between discipline and softness. He's not super strict but he doesn't just let them get away with anything

Imma sound like a broken record but his daughter is scraping. This is Liu Kang we're talking about

His daughter is gonna become Gamora-

Fighting skills will be impeccable. Say excuse me if you bump into her or she's going 2 back flips, lighting her body on fire and blowing the area up

He wants to spend so much time with his daughter. He knows how fast time flies. He's seen humans not appreciate each other and that's not happening with him. His daughter will know she's loved

He has references like I said earlier but that doesn't mean it's the easiest to do. He tries his hardest though and is probably the most patient

He's more excited for the firsts than they are. This is not your first day of school Liu Kang, why are you so geeked?

Tons of photos of his baby

Other dads can be really stressed when it comes to their kid growing up but I think he's more accepting of it. Is it sad seeing his baby grow up? Yes. He's used to the idea of aging though. Also his kid is immortal like him so he's comforted by the idea of them never growing older than him

Liu Kang is a parent that is 100% ok with admitting when he's wrong. There's no toxic shit with him. If he fucked up, he fucked up.

Probably has the most or one of the most humble kids

Very affectionate

Probably wants more kids

10/10 dad and imma stand on it

“Forgive me Kenshi. I misspoke.” Liar.

I always ramble at the end of these so here I go: y’all I am out of dry dog food and I’m broke so I can’t pay my sister to get food from her job so I’ve been feeding my dog wet food, right. It is 3am, so naturally we’re not on a walk rn. Why did she drop the most devastating shit? I actually wanna walk into traffic. I did not know it could be audible. She didn’t even eat anything before she did it. Donate to $JMentallyUnstable for my cause😔 (I’m joking but not about my suffering. She’s small. HOW is a felony coming outta you bro?) (If I find a tall building-)

113 notes · View notes

autistic-crypt1d · 7 months ago

Text

Season 5 SGA live blogging:

S1, S2, S3, S4

Big ass cliffhanger, Teyla is still being held captive by Michael and the team is racing against the clock to find her before she gives birth only to have a damn building fall on them!

Updates:

- Ronon calling Sheppard buddy 😭

- good lord that was a long ass zoom out

- Ronon and Teyla love eachother so much dude

- "you don't have to do everything yourself" facts Ronon, facts

- awww Rodneyyyyy

- Ronon carrying Teyla and her baby is just so AHHHHH

- HOW DARE YOU REPLACE SAM

- OH NO, THE SEED

- I don't remember how Keller got infected in the first place, during the rescue op for Sheppard, Ronon, Rodney, and Lorne?

- Carson!!

- ahhhhh yeah it was that planet

- I missed Teyla so muchhhh

- poor Sheppard y'all

- it always gets me watching Ronon pace around aggressively when something is hurting people that he can't fight. You can literally see him wanting to punch whatever it is no matter what it is or the fact that it is unpunchable

- of course Rodney stays with Sheppard ♡

- also, does this mean that all wraith hive ships are people??

- love how Woolsey is immediately and very rudely awakened to the reason why "going by the book" on Atlantis does not work

- shouldn't the stuff be attacking Sheppard now that he's cured?

- well, now it is

- did the vine stab Sheppard or just break a rib or something?

- Broken Ties, if this is the episode I think it is I'm about to be very sad

- I love seeing Ronon and Teyla together so much

- Ronon's jacket is so cool

- wait no I think the episode I'm thinking of is one of the last 2

- for all of his faults, I really so love how understanding Woolsey is when it comes to Teyla and her baby

- oof ok I remember what this episode is now and while it isn't the one that I thought it was, I will still be very sad

- Tyre you're a back stabbing little shit and I hate you

- DAMN IT TYRE

- Woolsey really does become quite sweet in SGA

- Rononnnnn AHHHHHHH

- of course Sheppard is the person Rodney goes to when he gets stuck

- Lorne!!!

- Ronon's voice on the verge of tears, BRO

- Kanaan, supportive husband of the year

- WOOLSEY WITH THE BABY PFFFT

- Tyre gets points for helping them get Ronon back but I still hate him for everything else

- let's go Rononnnnn

- Ronon truly looks very coo coo bananas here

- god the acting is so good

- Rodney talking to Ronon while he's unconscious recovering 😭

- Ronon holding the sword after Sheppard gave it to him, AHHHHHH

- ah crap, The Daedalus Variations, this is one of the few episodes that I immediately know by title

- I always wanna yell "DON'T GET ON THAT SHIP!!!"

- The duplicate bodies, AHHHHH

- is Ronon wearing a cardigan? It's fantastic regardless

- I love Rodney's little rectangle backpack so much

- the alternate reality drive is reminding me of the spore drive from Star Trek: Discovery, I still need to finish that

- ok it's not a cardigan but the cut is very similar and I dig it

- Ronon is so good at talking Teyla through stuff

- this other alien race intrigues me so much

- how tf did that dart just zoop through the shield??

-poor Sheppard being the only one who actually knows how to operate the ship in any significant way, Teyla knows a bit but that's it

- Ronon really has a 6th sense y'all

- good lord it takes a lot to down those aliens!

- I wish we got to see more of them so badly. Maybe if we'd gotten another season?

- ahhhh Ronon and Sheppard are the most badass duo ever istg

- poor Ronon y'all, he is not prepared for operating this shit

- since when does Atlantis have F-302s? I mean I know this is an alternate reality but like, you'd assume they'd be jumpers

- alternate reality Atlantis came in clutch tho

- not Sheppard basically flirting with himself XD

- Sheppard and his ds, I love it

- the way Rodney absolutely adores Torren even though he's simatioualy terrified of him is so cute

- I wish we got to see more of the alien fauna so badddd

- Ghost in the Machine, oh boy

- Atlantis going dark is always so freaky and cool

- AHHHHH the Elizabeth episodes always hurt so bad y'all

- I really don't understand why replicators want to ascend so bad, they can live forever, why not just go explore the galaxy now? Why do they need to do it as energy?

- I hate that Elizabeth has this arc

- YOU TELL EM WOOLSEY

- ouch ouch ouch

- The Shrine, ouch ouch ouch

- y'all this episode breaks my heart

- Rodney calling for John, OUCH

- AHHH you can see the organism in the water!!!!

- I know the water would've come through too, but couldn't they have just gotten back into the water and they open the shield just long enough for them to swim through???

- Rononnnnnn, he's so caring and sweet and AHHHH

- the whole thing with Jennifer hurts, Rodney tells her he loves her and she has to watch him fade away

- I don't really understand why the jumpers can't be cloaked while going through the gate, the only reason I can think of is that they made it up to make it difficult

- y'all Rodney coming to John on the verge of tears, desperately coming to him for comfort breaks my heart

- GIVING HIM HIS JACKET

- "you're stuck with me Rodney" HELP

- Sheppard loves that arrogant, whiney man so much

- "I keep seeing a face, everytime I close my eyes. I think it's my mother" BRO

- Keller has come such a long way, I mean she went from a flailing mess on the Bola Kai episode to proposing brain surgery in a damp cave to remove an alien parasite

- Whispers is so cool, it freaks me the hell out, but still cool af. Everytime I see the intro though I think of the SG-1 episode where they can't sleep or they die

- also, love seeing Carson again

- Porter and Mehra irritate me so much though. When characters are supposed to be tough but are either written badly, acted badly, or both, it's just so bad. Same thing with characters that are supposed to be hot, like, yuck.

- pfffft, Sheppard and Carson bonding over being in stasis pods

- I really like Vega though, and Teldy is cool

- I also desperately hate the weird thing between Porter and Carson, like, it makes me WILDLY uncomfortable

- god damn that was a clean ass transition

- VEGA DIES???? BRO

- Mirellus I swear to god

- THE CRAWLING ON THE WALL, HELL NO

- these things are so scary y'all, I love it

- honestly Mirellus, you deserved that. Not only did you release these things but you started screaming about them, like, wtf

- he really could've just grabbed the rope to bring up the bucket instead of using the crank, then used it to lower it the rest of the way

- poor Carson, his first mission back and he gets this

- see Mehra is great when she's being a bit goofy, but the whole dead pan serious tough as nails thing is so bad. I've never once enjoyed a character like that unless they had something else going on. Like, Teal'c and Ronon have personalities on top of that. I just think she was written badly honestly.

- The Queen, oh boy this episode is wild

- I truly do not understand the whole surgery thing. What exactly are they doing to her and how tf is it not permanent or leaving any lasting effects???

- Ronon's little smile at saying they were getting their asses kicked is so cute

- at least they finally got a new actor to play the Primary wraith queen

- ahhhh Ronon loves her so muchhhh

- oooo and new actors to play the wraith dudes too! Let's goooooo

- nice work Teyla, god damn

- Todd, buddy, you're really pushing it rn

- it will never stop being hilarious that Ronon has to get stunned like 8 times to go down

- Teyla is the tiniest wraith I've ever seen and it's so funny

- Tracker, very exciting, I kinda love this eoisode

- Sheppard is so totally jealous about Rodney and Keller

- AH I hate the awkward tension between the 3 sooooo much

- Rodney, Ronon, please be normal for like t seconds please

- the thing I hate about this episode is that they suddenly bring back the thing between Ronon and Keller. They don't mention it for a long ass time and their interactions don't hint to it whatsoever and now all the sudden he's into her again

- also the fact that it's so obvious Ronon loves Teyla so the whole Keller thing is just super weird

- it's weird they don't have a life signs detector with them, or maybe Keller has it

- Ronon and Rodney are both like obsessed with Sheppard (for different reasons), but it's hilarious that when they're without Sheppard, they're just a mess of a duo. Like they cannot agree on anything, they're constantly bickering, it's a mess

- idk about y'all, but I ship Keller with Kyrik more than anyone else

- GET HIS ASS KELLER

- Kyrik is awesome man, I'm really sad we never see him again

- ahhh I hate the awkward love triangle shitttt

- DANIEL!!! First Contact is one of my favorite episodes, I'm so excitedddd

- Daniel and Rodney are so funny together, I love it

- pfffft, Rodney telling him to push against the wall as hard as he could XD

- good lord that attempted speech interaction was awkward as hell

- poor Woolsey XD

- god damn the hyperspace window opening over the water is SO COOL

- I may not like these Asgaurd but they are so damn cool, the way they just completely ignore every effort Atlantis tries to stop them is wild. Shield? Ignored, floors between them and their goal? Going through them. Gun fire? Shields.

- THEY'RE SO BADASS

- the way that the 3rd just no hesitation sacrifices itself so the other 2 can get away with the guys and the device???

- poor Sheppard man, he's been in charge for only like a couple hours and they've been invaded and 2 of their people are taken

- god those two are so sassy I love it

- AHHHH Sheppard and Rodney thinking the same thing is so gay I love it

- the self destruct feature so that no one can find out what they really are??? AHHHH

- y'all, the existential crisis Todd has thinking about who the wraith would be without the war is devastatinggggg

- pfffft Daniel and his immediate urge to talk it out with his kidnappers

- those knockout sticks Todd has are so cool wtf

- the power spike, AHHHH CHILLS

- Sheppard staying with Radek no matter what, he's such a good leader y'all

- the explosion FX is not great lol

- oh shit I forgot this was a 2 parter

- I recognize the travers lady from somewhere

- omfg Rodney stepping between Daniel and the gun, BRO

- oh right she was on One Tree Hill!!

- yeah idk how anyone could ship Ronon and Keller in my opinion, they clash so badly personally wise

- good lord that engineering room gives me and Zelenka anxiety

- PFFFT THE SASSY HEAD BOB RONON GIVES WHEN HE SAYS NO

- THE ASGARD REVEAL

- I can't help but wonder if the war would've ended differently if instead of hiding, the Asgard had helped the Ancients

- man Daniel is really getting tossed around today

- ahhhh I missed Daniel's silly little mannerisms so much

- Keller with a P-90 is dope af, way to go doc

- I'm like 90% sure those "empty suits" had people in them cuz I could kinda see them swaying a bit and I think that's hilarious

- Daniel looks cool af in that suit

- pffft Daniel's little shrug

- Daniel please stop standing right by the damn antenna you're giving me anxiety

- LET'S GO SHEPPARD AND TRAVELER'S

- Daniel you really cannot die again

- "wanna unzip me?" "I'll look for a can opener" PFFFFT

- Ronon may be very emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people's feelings, but when it comes to his own, NOPE

- of course Rodney and Daniel are immediately sassy with eachother now that they're not about to die

- Rodney, please

- Outsiders is such an infuriating episode y'all, the way the villagers turn against these innocent people is just so AHHH

- Jervis I hate you so much, please shut up

- Jervis you are actually like, the worst

- the fact that he thinks that there is even a chance the wraith will keep their word and not destroy their village anyway means he is a damn fool

- Safaris you are also the worst and a fool and I hate you too

- Todd is literally the only wraith we've seen to my knowledge that's actually ever kept his word but even then he steals shit or throws wrenches in the plan every single time

- ok Rodney left out the time they did in fact escape from one of those cells but Ronon had like 80 knives on him that allowed that to happen sooooo

- wraith facial hair is so scrungly looking

- LET'S GO CARSON

- dude has become such a badass since he came back to life

- "you're gonna have to hold them off" "am I now?" PFFFT

- PFFFFT Carson and Rodney shoved into the dart is hilarious

- oh damn

- way to go Rodneyyyyy

- awww, Carson realizing Rodney misses him and taking a break for him 😭

- Inquisition, I have no recollection of this episode so far

- oh wait, oh yeah no I remember this

- honestly the counsel isn't entirely wrong, but they've been trying their best to fix their mistake and they're the best hope this galaxy has of defeating the wraith

- plus the fact that they woke them up early led to the infighting which gave them the advantage to defeat them

- why're they showing clips of the wraith that was converted long after Michael with the consent of the queen instead of Michael's transformation when that's what they were talking about?

- y'all they are fully tripping if they think the Genii's nuclear plan was going to defeat the wraith, there are far too many for them to have succeeded with a plan like that. Working with Atlantis there could've been a really helpful alliance but instead they decided to betray them again and again

- Atlantis has been making a lot of unilateral decisions yes, but like they said, they're the only ones out there fighting them. The ancients failed and there was no one left with the tech or numbers to stand up to them until the expedition showed up

- a lot of their plans have made things worse in some ways, but that's what happens when you're taking action, you can't be sure how things will turn out most of the time but you have to do something

- SG-1 got shit for this too about how they went about fighting the Goa'uld, but again, they were trying. Granted so were the Tok'ra, but they were also letting people die, leaving worlds enslaved, and had completely written off the Jaffa

- not to mention the fact that they've been expending countless resources giving aid to every society in need they come across, most of the time with zero in return

- these people revere the ancients as gods even though they were quite literally the cause of the wraith and replicators existing and abandoned the pegasus galaxy when they realized they couldn't atop the wraith, but now they put the expedition on trial for accidentally stumbling across what they left??? It's not their fault that the ancients left a damn minefield of awful shit across the whole damn galaxy

- I just noticed that Ronon had to physically drag Sheppard away when Elizabeth was sacrificing themselves

- I know that these people are upset but if they didn't wake them and they had those 50 years to prepare, the lives would've been lost anyway, different lives but lives nonetheless. At least with Atlantis here they have the chance to win and save future generations from this ever happening again

- Woolsey you sly dog

- LET'S GO WOOLSEYYYY

- Pfffft wtf was that swivel John XD

- The Prodigal, oh shit here we go

- see, Rodney and Sheppard are literally always spending time together

- I feel for Rodney with the stairs y'all, they are my sworn enemy

- Teyla is so pretty

- god damn it Michael

- damn that door lowering shot was pretty sick gotta say

- Lorne!!!

- Michael's obsession with Teyla is horrifying, he truly does not understand why she won't just go with him

- LET'S GO BANKS

- we don't get a lot of Chuck and Banks but I ADORE THEM, especially her

- YOU GET THEIR ASSES RONON

- Ronon may have technically lost that fight but he gave Teyla the opportunity to run and that's a win in this situation, especially given the fact that that buys them all time

- god I love Sheppard and Rodney during these situations "what do you need? 15 minutes?" And Rodney just rolls his eyes and does it

- Teyla is so resourceful and smart, she can't fight because she's holding a baby but you bet your ass she can kick that mf down the stairs

- the jumpers chairs look so comfy, I want one

- MICHAEL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, TEYLA IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER

- YOU STEP AWAY FROM RONON RIGHT NOW

- yessss let's go Radek!!!

- ooooo the fight scene is coming!!!!

- it's soooo over for you Michael

- Sheppard what did I say about hanging off of towers

- MY GOD THIS SCENE IS SO COOL

- YES TEYLA BEAT HIS ASS

- you tried to hurt her baby, you were never getting out of here alive

- god Teyla is so cool help

- Ronon's mission report is so cute

- Remnants, poor Sheppard man, I'm stressed and it's been 2 seconds, I just knw what's about to happen to this man

- also, Rodney's immediate flustered reaction as to why Sheppard would volunteer to spend a night away from Atlantis (him) is so gay I love it

- y'all watching this episode knowing what's actually going on from the start is wild, especially from Sheppard's pov. Bro really just could not help torturing himself

- poor Chuck

- also, have the uniform colors changed a bit? Chuck's looks like a weird dark green and Rodney's is a different blue than I remember. I feel like this must have happened when they changed the uniform style but idk why I'm just noticing.

- are Amelia and Chuck both military???

- ugh, Brain Storm. Malcolm is the worst.

- I hate that they did Bill Nye so dirtyyyy

- the fact that Keller doesn't trust Rodney's instincts that this is a horrible idea is WILD

- "you're smarter than me" "I know" DAMN RIGHT RODNEY

- PFFFFT the Bill Nye slap

- LET'S GO RODNEY

- "I love you. Have for some time now." CALLBACK LET'S GOOOO

- Infection, see now this is the episode I though Spoils of War was initially. This episode is so freaky I love it

- I originally was remembering it as being caused by the Hoffan virus but it's Keller's treatment, I remember now

- the wall melting, SO COOL

- THE MASKLESS WRAITH WARRIORS

- I still ship Rodney and Sheppard, but I will still admit that Rodney and Keller are sweet

- my god the wraith eating people is just such a new horrific thing

- SO FREAKY AHHH

- the massive crater in the ship is so cool

- THE SHIP BEING INFECTED, AHHH SO COOL!!!

- I love wraith shit so much, it's so unique and so cool and freaky

- "we're too late, the pods are opened" AHHHH

- oh my god I love this scene, the hive tearing in half, Rodney freaking out, they're going down y'all!!!

- "impact in 15 seconds" "not if I can help it" AHHHHH

- THE SHIP ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE, THE TENSION!!!!

- the cgi of the shop landing in the water is rough af but still

- Identity, ah hell I hate this episode

- poor Radek, he was just trying to help

- Vegas is such a weird episode

- Vegas feels like such a random place for them to be, the wraith being there I can understand, but why are John and Keller?

- man I remember watching this episode for the firs time so vividly

- the scene where the wraith is disguising himself is so cool, but also like totally confirmation that wraith would be emo, punk, or goth if they were on earth lmao

- a wraith playing poker will never not be funny

- and the damn finger conversation

- god this chase is so cool, taking the gunfire like it was nothing, leaping down the stairs, thr wall vault, and god damn that no hesitation leap off the roof only to stand back up after slamming into the pavement, AHHHHHH

- SHEPPARD'S FACE

- there is not a single reality where this mf doesn't get dragged into this shit somehow is there

- Rodney!!!!

- alternate reality Todddddd

- I guess Keller was there cuz the government sent her and she was brought back from Atlantis too? Idk

- I'm sorry but an emo wraith wielding dual machine guns is so cool

- rip John

- wait stop this is sad I hate it, his face when he lies down just broke my heart

- ENEMY AT THE GATE, LET'S GOOOOO

- I'm so excited, I may hate that the show ends like this, but my god are these episodes so cool

- I'm honestly shocked the finale isn't a 2 parter

- pfffft Todd in a Deadalus jump suit is so silly, they unfashioned him

- LET'S GO DAEDALUS

- Sam!!!!

- Atlantis is leaving the Pegasus Galaxy y'all!!!

- Davis!! Loved that guy in SG-1

- ah hell the converstaion between Woolsey, Teyla, and Ronon makes me tear up

- one would think they would've adapted some of the shield technology they've come across and used it to defend where the chair was being held in case of something like this. I get they can't protect the whole planet with it but they could at least cover that

- rip chair and area 51

- Sheppard's on yet another suicide mission

- oh shit this is the episode with Ronon that makes me cry

- RONON 😭

- Teyla and Rodney's yells for him break my heart y'all

- I love you random ass wraith for saving Ronon ♡♡♡

- Lorne supporting Ronon, ahhhhhh

- ATLANTIS LET'S GOOOOOO

- KICK THAT HIVES ASS CARSON!!!

- "it's Atlantis, they're engaging the hive!" CHILLS

- AHHHHH

- y'all I'm tearing up this is so cool