#i fucking love male pattern baldness

[scurvyboy]

I love the way you draw Fiddleford and his bald spot.

i like drawing his bald spot a normal amount

[get-more-bald]

my perfect beautiful boy

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

@justanotheran

Hi there! I love your stories!

If you don’t mind, i want to be really masculine… I wanna look like the embodiment of testosterone. I don’t mind what I look, what I do or what I like. I just want to be really manly. Could go do that for me?

You want to be the embodiment of testosterone. Pure masculine energy. Then there is only body for you. A true end result that will take you to the epitome of masculinity. You wake up in the middle of the night breaking out in a cold sweat. Your sheets wet and it feel as if someone just dumped a bucket of water on you. And in the corner all you see is a set of red eyes glowing. And a sinister grin. Instantly pain grips you from all areas of your body. You’re not even sure what hurts worse and you’re instantly restrained. Screaming in pain you can’t even hear your own screams over the sinister laugh. You feel like a ghost in your own mind and you can’t escape.

It’s not long before you pass out from from the pain. Left in the darkness alone. The last thing you hear is the sinister laugh. And while you sleep you’re body changes. You wished to be the embodiment of masculinity. As you slept your bones broke and lengthened making you 6’8”. Your feet now hang off the bed and every bed you will ever lay in as a matter of fact. You’re shoulders widened in your twin bed and now hung over the edges as they broadened with muscle. You’re legs and arms packed on muscle from hours of being in the gym while your pecs became defined as your back widened. All the while you’re bed continued to creek as you weight continued to to increase rapidly as your wish forced you to gain masculine weight. Your feet grow from a small size 10 to a massive 15 wide. And where abs would be expected to grows none came. A strong core grew layered with toned muscle and fat. Sure you’d never be considered skinny but you’d be strong. Abs would never be a through in you head after this. And speaking of head….your hair begins pull into your scald as your hair begins to rapidly recede. First giving you male pattern baldness. Then you’re completely bald. You’re jaw breaks and squares itself instantly as a thick beard grows never able to be shaved. Tattoos begin to to form on your now massive upper arms but soon thick hair from your over powered tester one filled body takes over. Hair covering every inch of you from head to meaty toe front to back. So thick you’ve literally earned the name bear. THE HUMAN BEAR. While your groin responds and explodes in side making none of your underwear fit anymore. Heavy labored breathes come from your massive bulked up frame now.

When the sun rises the room smells of nothing but sweat. You feel the dirty and grime from years of working out as it feels like your body has gone through them over night. You smell like a locker room. A mixture of bo. Feet. And cum. A smell you’ll never wash away now that you wished for the epitome of masculinity. You struggle to sit up just now realizing how fucked you are after wish. You’re huge ! You struggle to bathe and realize you smell like an animal even after showering. Deodorant doesn’t help. You realize your wish is curse when you go to put socks on. Struggling to heft a large sole up to put the sock on you hear that evil laughter again. You grit yourself teeth in pain and you feel the bones in already large feet begin to break and reshape. Right before your eyes you see your feet grow 3 sizes larger making you realize your wish would force you to continue being the epitome of masculinity even against your will.

March 15th, 2022 9:20pm

[progmetol]

Cecil Headcanons #1

Ok this is assorted with no particular order or theme. I’ve been sitting on this for a while and I keep adding to it. So I’m gonna post it now while it’s a… “reasonable”… length, and probably eventually do a part 2. I also intend on eventually doing a GDA headcanons post because I have a lot that are more broad to the GDA as a whole and not just Cecil.

Discusses his backstory from the comics slightly but nothing that’s really a spoiler.

- From the outskirts of Jacksonville, Florida (dear God no wonder he’s the way he is). Has a southern accent that he represses, but slips out occasionally. It does in the show too, so this isn’t entirely conjecture.

- Father is from Alabama. Mother from Florida.

- Majored in counterterrorism (most 3 letter gov orgs irl require a bachelor’s degree, I can’t see the GDA being any different)

- Chose to enter the military initially due to his older brother being a victim of a supervillain terrorist attack. Previously a sports prodigy, he was left paralyzed and unable to pursue his dreams.

- Was a green beret before being introduced to the GDA. Was invited to the CIA’s SAD or the GDA’s SPECOPs. He chose the latter.

- Was a spec ops commando that worked to support behind the scenes of superhero operations. Basically, they’d do dirty work while the public superhero they are working with is soaking up the attention and serving as a distraction.

- His call sign was Rooster, inspired by his mullet. The hair in front would stick straight up, which caused him to grow that thing all the way out. He eventually was “promoted” to Phoenix, which got it after being, quite literally, reborn from ash. Had a few other nicknames too though, mostly derogatory and in reference to his scar.

- Usually supported/worked alongside Brit. They became best friends and still are to this day please don’t cut him from the show Amazon

- Due to the chemical treatments he takes to maintain his artificial skin grafts he looks older than he actually is. And that’s not even mentioning the immense amount of stress he endures. He’s actually in his mid 50s but nobody really believes him. Male pattern baldness is a bitch as well.

- Insane sharpshooter and is proficient with just about any firearm you put in his hands. Even to this day, sets aside an hour to train in the range and keep those skills sharp. Never know when you’ll need them. Always carrying heat.

- Addicted to coffee. Occasionally adds whiskey. That isn’t good for you, but nobody has the guts to scold him (anymore).

- Usually drinks coffee black since it’s easiest and fastest to prepare, but will not turn down a latte. Loves any coffee with three pounds of sugar and milk dumped in it.

- Also likes jack and coke but this is much more seldomly witnessed.

- Wine too. Anything alcohol he will drink really. Beer.

- Loves Italian food. Isn’t really a picky eater though and will eat just about anything put in front of him, for better or worse.

- Refuses to use any sort of cloning technology on himself. He believes that with the idea of only having one chance in the back of his mind, he will be more pressed to use that chance to its fullest. This isn’t public knowledge though.

- Really likes sweets and that problem is the primary reason for his weight gain besides stress. Baked goods are his favorite but he even likes shitty cheap candy.

- The US flag pin belonged to his wife. He wears that one specifically to remind himself of her. He likes his stupid ass reminders.

- Enjoys listening to music or sports while doing things like paperwork (but he never sets aside time to just listen to them). He enjoys classic rock, old school heavy metal, and surprisingly, piano music. If I had to name bands I’d say Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, Led Zepplin, etc. As for sports he’s mostly into football (his team is the Jags).

- Messy as fuck, but in an “organized chaos” kind of way. He knows where everything is in his office but it looks like a wreck.

- Smokes a pipe. This actually isn’t a headcanon it’s in the early comics. It’s a rare occurrence, he is somehow not addicted. Despite this, his mouth and respiratory system are in perfect condition due to GDA medical tech.

- He’s a fucking hypocrite about a handful of topics, usually morality, emotions and relationships. He also is completely aware of it and views it as an unfixable flaw.

- He knew Nolan killed the guardians from day 1. He just hired the detective to make it seem to Nolan like the GDA didn’t know and was still investigating. Just a means to buy more time. His contingency plan for Nolan was not ready. I genuinely think this is canon btw but it’s never explicitly stated.

- He thinks the costumes that heroes wear are stupid and (mostly) impractical. The only reason they still are used is to divert the attention towards the heroes and not the fact that there is a government organization directing them.

- Black belt in Taekwondo + skilled in some other martial arts. Basically Solid Snake with his CQC. Similar skill set between characters. Is a stealth guy also.

- Carries four guns on him at all times. Two in his coat. One in his belt. One on his shin. One of the ones in his coat is a laser pistol, just in case you run into someone bullet resistant. But as the Heavy from TF2 says: it’s tough to find someone who can outsmart bullets. Unfortunately I can name three major characters in Invincible right off the bat that can. Tough luck.

- May come as surprising but he’s religious. His main thought process is that in a world as chaotic as his, some people may be inclined to think there isn’t a god, but he is inclined to do the opposite because he thinks that there are some situations in which you’ve done all you can and all that you can do now is pray. He isn’t really hardcore though. This idea stems from all the religious imagery that shows up around Cecil for some reason. I’m not tweaking I swear. I could go on a whole thing about that correlation but that’s a different topic.

- Adding on to this, a major idea in Christianity is that God allows evil to persist because it will eventually result in a greater good. SOUND FAMILIAR? He got it from somewhere.

- The only Korn song he knows is Here to Stay and he knows it by memory. Yes this is oddly specific and I will not elaborate.

- Tends to be crude, but in moderation. Definitely tries to tone in down in front of women. Professionals have standards.

- Dude could still break your back (assuming you don’t have superhuman durability) even in his older age. He’s a little out of shape but the muscle memory is still intact.

- Can sing surprisingly well. No training at all so he’s not professional level, but it’s pretty damn good for no training. It’s rare that anyone ever witness though. Once in a lifetime event if they are lucky.

- Can write with both hands, simultaneously, different things. It took a lot of effort to learn (just kidding. secret government hypnosis) and is incredibly useful for multitasking.

- His hair genetics are really screwed up. First he started showing male pattern baldness in his 20s, though it didn’t really get notably bad until later (we know how that turned out). He’s really attached to his hair and refuses to shave what’s left of it. He’d never admit it but he is self conscious about it.

- In addition he started graying severely at a relatively early age, 30s, due to stress. He dyed it back to its platinum blond color almost religiously but eventually gave up, too much work for no payoff.

- Occasionally when his work is super backed up, he doesn’t get to shave and his stubble grows out. Hair doesn’t grow where his burn scar is so there’s a big spot there that has nothing.

- The side of his mouth with the scar has reduced mobility due to nerve damage. It doesn’t impact his speech but his muscles do not work properly there. When he smiles or frowns that side of his face just doesn’t move.

BONUS

CECIL’S SCHEDULE (just for fun)

Literally at any given time he can go on call because incidents can happen whenever. But on a typical day…

5 am - Work day officially starts. Paperwork time, get ready for the day. Check meeting schedule and any missed news.

6 am - Breakfast. He’s still working while eating.

6:30 am - Meeting window opens.

- Check on department heads, make sure there’s no problems.

7 am - Check on Guardians and other GDA teams.

12 pm - Lunch. See breakfast.

12:30 pm - Check on department heads, make sure there’s no problems.

3 pm - Meeting window closes. Exercise hour because gotta stay in shape.

6 pm - Dinner. He’s still working, what did you expect.

6:30 pm - Check on department heads. Make sure there’s no problems.

7:00 pm - Check on Guardians and other GDA teams.

9 pm - Cecil hits the range because you gotta stay sharp and strapped. Training hour.

10 pm - More office stuff.

12 am - Brinner. That’s right. He has four meals a day, because he doesn’t sleep. Plus, even with the reinvigoration he gets from the chemical treatment, he needs more energy to account for him being awake longer and burning more energy.

3 am - The infamous hot tub. Reinvigorates his body as a whole, not just the skin.

4 am - Make sure night shift stuff went well. Otherwise, paperwork.

[beetlehoven]

Bug Moore, (formerly) the best shapeshifter in Europe!

Now, uhh....he's not as focused, you could say

My Skulduggery Pleasant oc/self insert! Omg! My guy! My man! My stress ball to traumatize with every new idea!

(if im being completely real those all abt me school worksheets r actually useful as hell for ocs. also giggle worthy)

Okay SO. Most important thing, his magic. obvs. He can shapeshift, he's a neoteric and was gonna be raised without annyyy knowledge of magic but! He is also.....a....tranana 🏳️‍⚧️ (self insert part). So little eight yr old girl him was wishing really really hard to be a boy and it happened 🙀. but that was at the beginning of the 20th century so it'd be a bit awkward to explain allat to family and neighbours n stuff so the most logical thing to do was to run away and start a new life. obvs. So that happened and he did a few things and joined maybe an uprising or two before the Sanctuary started getting on his ass abt using magic while fighting in mortal stuff. hate when that happens!! 😾😾 so he kind of works w them kind of not bc they like having this kind of unique guy that they can boast abt or something.

he fights by changing into something with sharp teeth and/or claws (or giving himself those if he's feeling adventurous that day) and just going at em (he CANNOT fight without his magic he's bad at prioritising like that). He gets tired and achey and all if he does too much, yk the drill. he eats A LOT to keep up his energy for it. sometimes he photosynthesizes.

reason for the bald spot! surprisingly not male pattern baldness!

stick with me here. i LOVE darquesse n tanith and billy ray so when they were all working together in sanguine's safehouse i had to get my guy in there somehow. So!

when darquesse got control in the bride's of the blood tears temple she knew she had remnant Tanith to come back to so she decided to get her favourite apostle a gift! thenn there was a whole thing where she tortured my guy Bug and, very meticulously, stabbed his brain so he was a little bit stupider than a dog (idk if that's fucking possible i just thought it was cool alr darquesse is smart she can do that) but it was all in the name of her gal pal cus then Tanith had a barely conscious shapeshifter to use on all her misadventures! Yay!

yea soooooo that happened! and eventuallyyyyy with the Sanctuary's cool magic medicine they got the dagger out of him when all those shenanigans were over and kind of put some of his brain back together (if they can do it for scapegrace they can do it for my little guy) but he was still a smidge traumatized and brain damaged and can't look at any darquesse imagery or at Valkyrie cain without being on the verge of pissing himself but oh well. life happens yk. that's when his twink death starts and he starts spending every evening in scapey's pub and distancing himself from everyone he knows and loves.

what do i say its half 5 in the morning rn.

oh yea and his name is bug bc memory loss so he just goes by a nickname his old mortal soldier buddies gave him. buggyyy bug bug

hes kind of like jschlatt if he was trans and depressed and magic and had ptsd but was in denial and i don't know anything about jschlatt actually i just like his mutton chops he's hot

[thegeminisage]

ok we watched the tng pilot. let's get into it

data is my best friend on this show and i love him

i liked riker but jonathan frakes looks like a baby without facial hair. he's gotta grow that in. also, at one point he asked someone a question and i got really excited. he should ask more people more questions i think thats what jonathan frakes was born to do. that and sit in chairs with style

also liked geordi even though we only saw him for 3 seconds and worf even though same.

the sections with q draaaaaaagged. ik people like q and whatever he has going on with picard but i'm just not there yet. this "humans are NOT savages anymore" plotline has been played out in tos many times to better effect

actually shocked picard was such a dick. idk why i was expecting him to be more kind maybe i was projecting professor x onto him?? but he kinda sucked lol like what was EVEN going on w his little pissing contest with riker

love and light, there should not be children on a starship. space is fucking dangerous. they're literally boldly going where no one has gone before. these kids could get hurt

the ship??? splits?????????? IS THAT LEGAL????

ok, furthermore, sorry, speaking of kids, not to be a misogynist but out of the 3 ladies (troi, crusher, and yar) i dislike 2 of them. love and light to deanna troi but i really hope she gets something to do besides emote and go OH THE PAIN...her look was slay. i understand completely how she turned women gay. give her something to do. give her a chance. i know she could be good.

i didn't mind dr crusher until she let her kid on the bridge even though you're not supposed to do that and they told him to touch nothing and he proceeded to touch everything and then she got mad when picard got mad. picard spent 70% of this episode being a dick and the one time he was justified she was like :/ wow you're such a dick. lmao. girl come on he literally said don't touch anything he was already being nicer than he had to be. the child was in the wrong children shouldn't even be on this ship

also they talk about wesley like he's their affair baby. idw if its true but nobody tell me. let me believe it. wesley crusher destined to suffer through male pattern baldness

also, i can see now why you're not supposed to date your ship mates. dating them is fine but being exes with them is excruciating and we had TWO PAIRS this pilot

anyway. tasha yar was rad i DID love her.

it's weird though how many of them use first names...in tos sometimes they didn't even use last names, only titles. spock called bones "doctor" almost exclusively. so riker calling geordi geordi after like 5 minutes of knowing him was a little weird

i cried when bones showed up. sue me. his prosthetics were terrible and i already miss him so much.

SPACE JELLYFISH. that part was good

overall both the adventure and the interpersonal stuff was a little ????? which is like. you can flop on one or the other. i DO have faith it will get better but i feel kind of lukewarm on it so far

there's a lot of direct counterpoints to tos, but it's shuffled JUUUST enough so it feels like it isn't copying tos's homework word for word but rewording it to trick the teacher. for example, data is like spock in that he doesn't understand emotions or whatever, but it's actually the inverse because spock understands and pretends not to, while data truly doesn't understand but wants to. then you have deanna troi who's sort of filling in for the other thing spock used to do, which is give us general impressions about unknown alien life, but she SPECIFICALLY does it through emotions so she doesn't resemble spock too much. the captain and first officer have a lot of scenes together but they're tense so it doesn't look too tempting to the slash fans. the doctor is still a bit grumpy but she's a woman this time. they don't use tricorders but geordi's special prosthetic helps them see all that shit anyway. it's tos but shuffled. lmao that it took 2 people to replace spock <3

anyway my favorite part, aside from the part bones was in, was when riker and data talked in the holodeck. and riker was like actually yeah the fact that you're a machine DOES make me uncomfortable. and data is like well i am superior but i'd like to be human actually! and you could see the little gears in riker's head turning and later he called data friend. i liked that and i love data. i love data he's very important even though the pilot wasn't good i think i would keep watching no matter what for data. and i knew it would be like that.

[questionable-chnt-hc]

Ive got a ton of stupid little things that im gonna mush into one ask:

Soren has rabies

Sydney doesnt take testosterone because he doesnt want male pattern baldness

Elijah ate the worms for the same reason i did when i was an itty bitty doodad, he just thinks its really really funny

Juniper has the weird fucked up antenna things that girafefs have on their head

Sydney and jedidiah are always im layered clothing cause they are both constantly freezing cold

Adam does so much self mutilation cause hes aware that hes a dream man and that he'll be fine

Joshua drinks lake water

Rowen gets frequent migraines cause of the sky</3

Salem is a caterpillar enjoyer

Most councilers in the camp have absolute shit taste in fashion(and i love that forthem all)

Lucile is trans, MTF

I thibk thats all:]

All of these canon canon canon

[captain-jimmy]

anya told me ur gonna be bald in a few years cause of male pattern baldness :/ sucks to be u ig... (also that intro post is fucking golden i love it)

Anya is a terrible fucking liar whos going to hell when she dies

[earlsocksiii]

tekken is such a funny series. like it is at its core an emotional, highly dramatic and personal story of the clash between bloodlines, the centre that holds it together is just amazing. (sometimes it’s written badly. but that’s ok). But then it’s just got a big shell of weirdness and the most insane shit a game series could ever have. I cannot figure out a good metaphor for this

most people’s impressions of tekken is the core, sure, that it’s a serious series of normal-looking guys beating eachother up, but.. it is so weird past the surface

like you got Heihachi Mishima, intimidating bastard with incredible hair falchions, who.. has trained three separate bears in his personal Mishima-style fighting karate. And he names them all ‘bear’ in Japanese or Panda. because she is a panda

Bryan Fury seems like just a normal criminal sociopath guy who is a bastard, but he’s actually just a full cyborg with an entirely artificial body. who is also a bastard sociopath guy who enjoys causing pain

the director of the series Katsuhiro Harada, infamous stubborn as hell guy, has confirmed that having the devil gene, bloodline powers that invoke the name of Devil (devil being both an adjective and a person here) prevents the Mishima bloodline from having male pattern baldness

there is both incredibly accurate and beautiful martial arts animation, of real techniques that looks like it had so much love and care put into it, Hwoarang’s taekwondo, Eddie’s capoeira, Steve’s boxing, Leo/Julia’s baji quan; so much of it is incredible. but they also put in a bunch of not very credible but. pretty cool stuff, and they make that also look so beautiful and perfect, Leroy’s wing chun, Marshall’s jeet kune do, a guy named King with a jaguar mask who does actual pro wrestling on people. just in tekken 7 they added Claudio, a fucking exorcist of a secret millenia old order who does Sirius-style Exorcist Fighting Arts and uses Real Magic. it’s all so satisfying and good

this series makes me both so excited for each narrative turn and also has like 20 different plot threads they created and forgot about (the nature of Asuka’s powers, Kazuya/Paul’s rivalry, Julia’s whole deal about defeating the devil gene, literally all of Leo, Feng and Hwoarang’s backstories in later games) (I guess that part’s because of how many characters there are, not everyone can be focused on and developed even with like a new sentence of development in their bio)

I truly love tekken and it has forever touched my heart. and also the music is real good. yodeling in meadow hill (hidden retreat) tekken 6? kinder gym tekken 7?  dr. bosconovitch theme tekken 3?

man. I can’t wait for tekken 8. I wanna play Leroy so bad.

[elek-tavor]

i started watching the movies (for the first time) after finishing reading the hobbit and lotr, and here is my take on the thirteen dwarves' design after seeing an unexpected journey:

thorin. why does he look like a model? it's not exactly uncanny valley (like a certain other drawf i will be mentioning later), but he still looks instantly out of place among most dwarves. i wish they at least did something wild to his beard. but he does look cool and my gay ass isn't immune to a hot guy, even if he probably shouldn't be hot, so i'll give you that. 6/10

balin. WHY IS HE SO FUCKING OLD? this feels like a hate crime. he is literally canonically younger than thorin, and he looks like he is one foot in the grave. like, i understand that they are both a little under 200 years old at this point, but pick a fucking struggle?? either make thorin look like an old wrinkly man as well, or make balin look younger. also, the design itself is boring as fuck. 2/10

bofur. this one is my favourite. he looks very cozy but also a little scary. he could be heading out the back with an axe to chop some wood for a nice little fireplace. he could also be an axe murderer. he's actually the sweetest dwarf you'll ever meet. he reminds me of my grandpa. 11/10

kíli. WHY THE FUCK IS HE YASSIFIED? he literally looks like what i imagined aragorn to look like while reading lotr. he barely has a beard, his hair is just... long. this is some fucking guy. not a dwarf. i do not care that he has a romance plot - you don't need to yassify a dwarf for him to be in a relationship with an elf, just ask gimli. 0/10

fíli. this is a solid design of a younger dwarf. he has more braids in his hair than i can count. he has a weird long ass mustache and it's also braided. i can see him growing into a more unhinged look that most dwarves clearly have as he becomes older. but i do feel like he was cleaned up a little for a lesser contrast between him and his brother. 7/10

ori. he looks very cute. his design instantly makes him stand out and i feel like i already know his personality just by looking at him (which is great for a trilogy with such a huge cast). he's a silly little dwarf. perhaps a little naive. must be protected. 10/10

nori. somehow, i feel like this was the last design they worked on. what is going on on that head. is he the inventor of middle earth hairspray? if he is, he's doing the worst possible thing he could with it. this isn't quirky or interesting - it just looks bad. the beard is kind of cool, but there is still something off with it. 4/10

dwalin. this guy is here to maim and kill. i feel like his haircut choice isn't even due to male pattern baldness. he just wanted as much hair as possible AND head tattoos. he found his look. he has a scar on his face. 10/10

glóin. i haven't seen lotr yet but i know what gimli looks like in the movies and the goal with gloin's design was clearly to make him look as much like gimli's dad as possible. this guy is already walking in his son's shadow, but i don't mind. overall, a solid dwarf look. i love the metal thingies in the beard. 8/10

dori. when i look at him, i have that "look at this distinguished gentleman" sound in my head. he's got a very intricate braiding situation going on in his hair, and i kinda love it. he has clip on piercings on both his ears and he has clearly constructed his whole look so he could show them off. 9/10

óin. we are evidently starting to run out of personalities, because this guy is also here primarily to maim and kill. to be fair, that's what a lot of dwarves are, so i'll allow it. i like the two giant beard braids - i'm pretty sure he has more facial hair than i have hair on my head, which is exactly the kind of impression a dwarf's beard should be giving. 7/10

bombur. he reminds me of obelix from the french cartoons. he has an entirely insane beard-works-as-a-moustache-extension situation going on as well as a huge circular braid which i can't even tell where that's coming from. it's a nice unique design. 8/10

bifur. he's got an orc axe stuck in his head. i forgot that was a detail in the book and i also did not understand what it was until i googled it. i thought it could just be an accessory choice. but i might just be stupid. i can, however, tell that he had an emo phase and he still meticulously dyes strands of his beard jet black, so he could have a trendy dark-and-silver look. 7/10

[acheronist]

ok here's my player fansign event gossip

🐙

i was running a teensy bit late so i didn't get to say hi to rasmussen but he did look VERY handsome and looked a bit afraid LMAO. my sweet moose was probably out of his depth.. socially awkward darling

debrincat came out second and he was so so so so kind to fans. he was taking a ton of time to stop and sign something for EVERYONE who wanted something signed. about 8 or 9 guys passed him and went inside before he was nearly done walking thru the crowd to sign stuff... :'-) welcome home kitty we love u + it was so nice to see him recognize how excited we are for him too rahhh

i honestly dont remember seeing andrew copp at all but he must have walked by lol

berggren was sooo 🤏🏻🤏🏻 and cute and polite. he signed things very neatly and small and carefully (literally just JB48 in like a 1" square. its ok baby u can take up more space) + we congratulated him on getting called up again because we all love to see him skate and he seemed really genuinely surprised/pleased to hear it

it seemed like ville was bouncing back and forth between both sides of the walk a ton... also just trying to sign everything for everyone who wanted it... he was so 🙂 shaped though.. and he really is pale as fuck i think my guy was refracting sunlight as he walked by. i liked his signature a lot though it was very tight + angular + neatly written. big emphasis on the double Ls in his name. I dont even remember if he spoke though i'll be real.

ben chiarot looked sharp as FUCK. he had a turtleneck on under his suit jacket and his hair all slicked back..... he was serving sexy team dilf without children realness. so my bestie asked him if he just got done at a GQ model shoot while he was signing her shirt and he smirked and laughed under his breath a bit. whore <3

fischer was really fun to look at irl. his face is crazy i want 2 draw him. thats all i got LMAO. i dont remember anything else sorry to the christian fischer stans of tumblr dot com

compher was very polite too but he was moving thru the crowd really quick.. again i think he was just awkward and a little out of his depth w the crowd in the same way ras was? but he was very polite + nice + softspoken tho and i took a selfie w him for @comphy-and-cozy because she's violently in love with him but couldn't be there LOL

ghost looked SAUR sexy.. dark green suit well tailored very kind and polite.. i like that boy ! he was really softspoken too which surprised me because he's been such a freaky bitch on the ice lately

i also dont remember sprong at all but i do remember thinking it was kind of a #serve to match the toque to be the same burgundy color as his suit (also extremely well tailored. everyone looked very handsome). creative ways to make early male pattern baldness be kind of cunty + well dressed for the weather.

DYLAN.... DYYLAAANNNNNNNNNN

he was so so lovely.. definitely doing the same move as debrincat where he was just taking his damn time to sign smth for everyone who wanted smth. he was kind of in Good Captain Autopilot Mode it really reminded me of clips of stevie from the 90s... hockeytown loves our captains so much its unreal. but he signed my jersey and said hi to our little group and i sooo shaky lmao. but i handed him the art & he started to sign the plastic sleeve it was in? and I went no it's for you! and he kind of checked back into real life and went oh OH!!!!! and smiled when he actually looked at it and carried it w him thru the rest of the line :'-) idk i feel like he must get a lot of gifts from fans? but he definitely looked at it inside the doors of the LCA and he definitely carried it w him and didn't throw it away immediately so. big win for people who are me.

lucas and mo were funny asf they made it about 75% of the way thru the line and then the sun came out and was in their eyes and they both said ok i'm done now thank u and left. #respect

joey was so cute.. my bestie made a sign calling him a himbo last year and (then) he asked what a himbo was so we said Lmao google it, and this year he was signing stuff and talking to us and we were like "did you ever google what a himbo was" and he went huh. ohhh yeah lol like he was somehow both Pleased and Very embarrassed about it . cutesie.

newsy came out too!! and his daughter was with him and it was so cute they had matching friendship bracelets and newsy was like (to us the crowd) omg guys can we take a selfie ? can we do that?? and we were like Dawg you're head coach you can do anything you want..... so we all got a selfie w him LMAOOOO and he was so sweet and gently spoken and kind to fans. which still is crazy. i get whiplash every time how different he is to blash (the old coach who was a bitch and looked like he wanted to call people slurs but knew better) its unreallll

i think all the interviews where walman's said how much he likes detroit + feels wanted here weren't lies or exaggerations at all.... he stuck around so long to sign things for everyone (like dylan and debrincat did) and I think he was the last guy on the walk? and he was so funny and smiley and happy to be there.. my fucking GUY!!!!

[homiro]

I don't give opinions because I don't have the mental sturdiness to deal with being misunderstood either by accident or on purpose. And some people seem unable to disagree with other people's opinion without immediately jumping their throats, making assumptions, and overall implying that the person is stupid. And I already know I'm stupid, I don't need any more confirmation of that. So this is ranty vent where I ended up calming down by thinking about how much I love martial arts, especially boxing.

So this isn't an opinion, this is a vent. I felt the same about Caster Semenya and once again we're seeing the same fucking bullshit with Imane Khelif. Let's get Phelps out the way, frist. That guy is a giant, he snatched all the medals when he competed, nobody said a damn thing. Why? He's a cis white Anglo-Saxon male. Case closed.

But transmisogyny is rampant in official competitions, especially the Olympics. Trans people are not even allowed to compete. LET THAT SINK IN. TRANS PEOPLE CANNOT COMPETE. NOT EVEN IN FUCKING CHESS. I'm not even following it, I'm just seeing the shitshow from the news and posts on here. And I'm not talking about Caster or Imane BECAUSE THEY ARE CIS WOMEN SO THEY ARE NOT FACING TRANSMISOGYNY. They are facing misogynoir, that is, misogyny specifically targetted at black women. Because it's more vile than regular misogyny since black women are stripped of their femininity because they don't fit the European standards for what a woman looks like. And that is because transphobic ideas of what a woman is are rooted in WHITE European standards. Short, white, straight nose, light eyes, straight light hair, etc, etc. You know what I'm getting at. The real and most ideal woman for a transphobe seems to be Aryan. There I said it. Transphobia is rooted in white supremacy and the idea that women MUST be short, white, and frail. Transphobes and incels share a lot of the same ideas of what constitutes a "woman of value", whatever that fucking means.

And to show why this upsets me so much, and why this isn't an opinion coming from the outside and why I'm so fucking angry I needed to say something, I'll share some things.

Look no further than k-pop. The guys are called women because they're pale and wear makeup and are slim and I've seen AND HEARD racists say they can't tell if an Asian person is a man or a woman. Not only about East Asian people, but also South Asian people and Brown people. And it wasn't being said to me or around me but within earshot and I am blessed and cursed with very good hearing.

I have seen several videos of black women saying that transphobia affects every woman, not just trans women, and especially it affects women of colour. One of them is Brazilian and got hit with some transphobe saying he could see "his" dick under "his" dress on the subway. There was no dick, she is cis. This motherfucker just looked at this black woman and decided that she wasn't womanly enough. And that is not transmisogny and she clarified that. She said that transphobia affects everyone, especially women of colour who don't fit the white European standards for what a woman is.

And now me. I'm pale but Mediterranean. I am AFAB and I bleed. I have an intersex condition, and it affects my ability to fucking bleed for months at a time, but it happens. This intesex condition doesn't affect my ability to lose or gain weight, but it makes me have male pattern baldness and facial hair along with thick, black leg hair and arm hair. My chest is mostly flat. This intersex condition isn't what made me trans, by the way. If that were the case, everyone with it would also be, and that is really not the case. People with this condition by and large are AFAB and undergo female HRT, which was what they immediately suggested when I got diagnosed with it. Needless to say I didn't accept it. I recurrently get mistaken for a transfem and it leaves me torn because okay so I don't look cis, and to me personally, that's nice especially because I can't be subjected to transmisogyny and can easily embarrass the transphobes, but considering all of the above and the fact that transphobes think trans women are all ugly, it's bad. Not because of me, because I know I'm ugly, but because they're implying by extension that trans women are ugly, which is simply fucking wrong.

I think the most horrible incident that happened to me and honestly I fear for Imane at this point, was one time when I was at the pool and this cleaning lady looked at me "funny" and when I went to take a shower there (it doesn't have booths there), she randomly popped up and I saw her look at what the fuck I had between my damn legs. And I was startled and she quickly pretended to be looking for a bucket. But no, trans people are the perverts and predators and creeps /sarcasm. I haven't returned there yet and this happened over a year ago. And it's important to say that the locker room was empty save for me and this transphobe. And all this to say that while I'm a trans man, I relate to these women because I've been subjected to similar shit, only that wasn't that dangerous, so it's personal and it makes me really mad. And I will repeat that this is not transmisogyny because I cannot be subjected to that since I am AFAB. And I will reiterate that these are not opinions, this is a rant and a vent based on facts and personal experience.

I'll just put four pictures here of four boxers, and allow you to have silent reactions to them and their stats:

Top to bottom, left to right:

Imane Khelif (Algeria) - Lightweight (60kg/178cm; 132lbs/5'10'';

Lin Yu-Ting (Taiwan) - Featherweight (51kg/175cm; 112lbs/5'7''.

Claressa Shields (USA) - Light Middleweight, Middleweight, Super Middleweight, Light Heavyweight, and Heavyweight in Boxing - (currently 76kg, 173cm; currently 168lbs, 5'6'';

Savannah Marshall (UK) - Middleweight, Super Middleweight in Boxing - 73kg/180cm; 161lbs/5'11''.

(The last two have fought against each other)

A tangent here since this isn't an opinion and looking up fighter stats calmed me down since I love martial arts. Height is not a factor in categorising people into weight classes. If transphobes actually cared about the arts/sports, they would know that reach advantage is a thing and is listed when you look up fighter stats. And reach advantage would be the arm length. That's why shorter fighters tend to prefer to fight inside their opponent's reach, that is close to them, because that puts them at an advantage since it's unlikely to get hit with a straight jab in the face if you can almost kiss your opponent's chest. And what's more, if you're a shorter fighter in a weight class where people tend to be taller and thus have longer arms (which is an advantage for them since they can punch harder from further away and step back to avoid an instant counter attack, in case that wasn't clear), it's good to master the clinch. The clinch is what they call when the fighters seem to be hugging and can't really fight, especially in boxing where blows below the belt are illegal, blows to the back of the head and neck are illegal, and kicks are also illegal (that's why kickboxing exists). Because it's close quarters and if you master it, it's a good way to catch your breath during a round, since being shorter against a taller opponent requires being faster and thus spending a lot of stamina faster.

I'm a big fan of Muhammad Ali and of Claressa Shields (and I'll admit my bias towards heavyweight fights, though I also like welterweight fights) and they both exude an amazing confidence. Muhammad Ali called himself the boxing GOAT and Claressa Shields calls herself the boxing GWOAT. And I personally agree with both. If this piqued your interest, look them up and see their wins. Claressa is too young to have a lot written about her, but Muhammad Ali was the one who started the boxing taunts thing, and it was pretty terrible at the time because people saw it as disrespect, but it wasn't. He was just a jokester and when George Foreman won against him and his family was mad at Muhammad Ali for what he'd said, he apologised and said he didn't mean to disrespect him (it wasn't anything super mean, he just said he was slow and fought like a mummy and then mimicked it. And that's because what distinguished Muhammad Ali from other heavyweights was that he was very fast). Muhammad Ali was so goofy that even after he retired because he had Parkinson's, he called his manager and friend out into the snow, and was really stubborn about it, much the latter's annoyance, and said "I'm the fastest puncher in the world" and the manager said "In the heavyweight class, yes" "no, any class" "that can't be" "want me to show you?" "sure" *Muhammad doesn't move* "well? where is it?" "want me to show you again?". Geeking out about my fave, sorry. Just to show that he wasn't a bad person (which is also corroborated by all the tapes he recorded for his daughter since he couldn't spend a lot of time with her and said that one day she'd maybe value those). Claressa has lost against Savannah, but I'm kinda torn towards the latter because she talked about this situation with Imane and the Italian. She's playing devil's advocate, but she did highlight that the qualification criteria for Olympic boxing is ridiculous, mostly because nobody knows exactly how they evaluate people, especially women. In regular, official competitive boxing, it's all very clear.

And finally, you want to see what I look like? I'll put that shit under the break so that you're not immediately jumpscared. My stats in boxing, based on AGAB, are: Junior Featherweight or Super Bantamweight (54kg/166cm; 119lbs/5'5''). And yes, I have training. Mostly boxing, but also Jiu-Jitsu and Muay.

The last one was when I had to present fem for a wedding. The others are how I normally look and I did the Joker makeup and a closet cosplay, because my hair pulled back looks like his and I joke that I'm getting jokerised all the time. Or rather, half-joke. This picture was never publicly posted anywhere before today. I wanted some body pics but only have that available on this PC. That one at the top is a vintage outfit. I lost a lot of weight due to trauma but my bone structure is still wide and "not-feminine", that is, I'm very fucking androgynous. I once tried asking for opinions on reddit and lol I got told that I was ugly in every possible way. The only positive comments were of people saying I'd look good as a guy lol And if you clicked this read more, sorry for the jumpscare again. I just wanted to showcase where I'm coming from. Again, not an opinion, this is a vent. That turned into a bit of a lesson on boxing I guess.

[theygotlost]

ok here's a compilation of a bunch of thoughts i had while watching Perchance to Dean. good gravy people !!!

...why did he say that. why are you so gay and pregnant all the time you bald motherfyucker youre not even bald yet in this flashback but still. i know its just supposed to be early 90s fashion but my LORD theres some nonbinary slay going on. the undercuts... brocks stoner hoodie... the doc's bowling alley carpet ass vest... ive already gotten off track

HE EVEN SLEEPS IN BROCKS JACKET OVER HIS AQUAMAN JAMMIES 😢😢😭 THATS SO CUTE AND SO SAD. BROCK I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

any teenager would be concerned about losing giant clumps of hair but i can make ANYTHING support my Dawn agenda if i try hard enough. doc venture is for sure passing on those male pattern baldness genes so its possible that hair loss could potentially feed into dysphoria ☹

IM GONNA THRUP ☹☹ none of it was his fault man he just wanted to be loved .... HE WANTED TO BE PRETTY!!!!!! 😭

he's 5'7". LOL.

ive already complained about how much i fucking hate sargeant hatred but oh my GOD enough. why is the doc's reaction to the idea of a child predator taking advantage of his son to just be....

like, kinda annoyed??? and not do anything about it. kill yourself. ALSO BRING BACK BROCK ALREADY PLEAAASE BROCK WOULDNT TOLERATE THIS!!!!

he quite literally put her ass in The Egg Chair....... 📸*snap!*

MAN.

the post credits scene shows that eventually hank went back home and presumably saw that dean was fine but for at least a few hours he really genuinely believed he had killed him.... I WISH DEAN WAS HERE......... 😢 also i just watched the next episode and they dont try to reoslve this at all but wouldnt hank have been confused or something once he realized dean was alive? he very clearly saw (one instance of) his dead body. we dont even see how he and dermott disposed of it but it must have been fucked up to come home and see the brother you killed walking around like nothing happened. thats gotta do something to you

why was failed clone deans hallucinatory dad is GAY ASF. whatever

IT MAKES ME SO SAAAAAD !!!! i still like doc venture as a character but also i hope he dies evilly. he unabashedly plays favorites and makes it clear that he doesn't like hank and thinks he won't amount to anything, meanwhile he's projecting all his own daddy issues onto dean (did somebody say GENERATIONAL TRAUMA? 😀) and imposes all these expectations that dean cant and doesnt want to fulfill. dean is just as unhappy being the "favorite son" as hank is being the rejected son and it sucks for both of them!!!!!! I GOTTA SAVE THEMMMM

[the-terukane-archives]

im waiting for the day i inevitably forget to smash the ask anonymously button and reveal my naked mole rat self to the blinding sun

anyways terukaneaoi frieren au cause fuck it

-teru and aoi are the immortal elves who accompanied akane the human on a quest to slay the demon king

-they eventually succeeded, and both teru and aoi left akane afterwards in the capital, resuming their wanderer lifestyle, but not before promising akane to take him to see their favorite sunset in fifty years.

-the years go by and aoi + teru sometimes travel together when their interests align (teru is a powerful warrior that utilizes some magic at times, aoi is a great mage of a bygone era)

-neither visit akane, not until the promised time has arrived

-fifty years come and go and now akane is old and balding (teru made fun of him for it and akane didnt give a shit)

-they travel a long distance that the younger akane could have easily tread without breaks, but the journey takes much longer. just another stark reminder of how the passage of time has affected him so much

-akane made an offhand comment about how they'd look the same even after his passing, which genuinely was the point where the two elves realized that their cherished companion truly has almost reached a point of no return in his life

-they see the sunset and fast forward to the funeral. only outside the cathedral does aoi break down into tears. teru however is still in shock, like akane would turn the corner any minute and tell him to get back to work

(can you tell this au has been crawling in my mind for a while)

-pc anon

i’m sorry this is a great au but also the part about akane balding was so out of left field… we love our male pattern baldness having king 😍😍😍also i hope that day comes soon 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 i need to be your mutual (if i’m not already) fr!!!

[finniestoncrane]

I know you probably don't care but I may be balding and all I can think about is Arkham Jervis' lovely cranium every time his hat is removed. A nice slap, if you will. Also now I'm on anti-bald meds, they're little octagons.

khjkjhasd MALE PATTERN BALDNESS MY BELOVED (also balding my beloved anyway) but fuck yeah jervis rocks it in the arkham games, gives him a much more cretinous little sneaky look i think >:3 💚 (also i love when pills are fun shapes!!)

[zumpietoo]

Moar Snorteee.....

Not me, but amusing....love easy she is to troll, too!

Attempting to recover from her disappointment that PP has yet to go make another sooperr low-budget, seemingly won't even get bought by streamers "movie"....

Ummm.....Cole isn't "getting drunk", he's singing karoake....and yes, he's permitted to leave the house, have an adult beverage and hang with friends even when his GF of 3+ years is off "spreading her beige personality" (extra heelarious given how PP certainly doesn't have one, past middle school bitchy) to her family/working at the gainful employment she doesn't have......

Cole's worn hats like that for years, including while with AloPPecia, who's the only one in danger of balding....(side note, generally male pattern baldness appears well before 30, so he's likely safe....and, again, love your endless ignorance)

Ummm....to quote YOU upthread, didn't know you were such good friends with him that you knew he's high...which he isn't and he sounds good. Also, again, your kween????

Also, who knew it was now a crime to have a favorite garment (especially given how outfit repeating IS something your faves routinely do, as well....)

And, again, dude....over the past 4 years Cole's accomplished wayyyy moar, across the board, than has your kween....unless you consider dating a cheap copy of him/scabbing on a failed project/joining a cult "serves".

I gotta looooovveee how fucking bitter you are----and how obvious it now is that you're, also Silly/janASS.....I mean that's too much word for word verbatim/narratives to be otherwise....and we already had proof (by tumblr) that Keen/Zelda/Daisy were them....(her/you)