#i fucking hate antis and i have a thing i want to say abt them but alas
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it’s very important to me how my therapist (attachment trauma specialist) who works with a lot of adoptees and ffy is also obsessed with supernatural. and agrees that jack is not adopted, and it’s important to his storyline that he isn’t. it’s so frustrating trying to explain to people that adoption isn’t about ‘what’s in their hearts’ or some other bullshit, because adoption isn’t about love, it’s a legal process that tfw don’t partake in. they never try to to erase his lineage or require it for there to be love. jack keeps his last name! jack has a picture of kelly at his bedside! jack gets the freedom to meet his first family, including lucifer! he gets to make his decisions about that even after he argues with cas about it! he is not adopted y’all just don’t know how else to describe their relationship because of the romanticization of adoption in ‘found family’ media and the fact that most non-adopted people have no idea what adoption actually is.
#also it’s not y’all’s fault that u don’t i really don’t want people to take offense to this#adoptees actually often face barriers when creating stories about adoption because people cannot handle the complexity lmao#like adoption has to go one of two ways and the options are perfect happy nuclear family or evil adoptive parents#who took someone’s baby/child and the mother has been looking for them for years#there’s hardly ever any in between#and now we have an influx of what i’ve seen coined the adoption adjacent trope#which is basically jack. serves all the emotional purposes of adoption with less complications bc#the first families are either dead or abusive and the ‘adoptee’ adjacent character#is old enough to have agency over their decisions#which alleviates some of the issues with consent that adoption has#and on top of that there’s no paperwork for whatever reason#it still serves the narrative purpose for adoption without actually telling an adoptees story#*adoptee’s#which is fascinating because we rarely get scenes like meeting first families and having complex relationships with our APs or first parent#and i genuinely think the only reason we get this with jack is BECAUSE he is not adopted#jack kline#anti adoptee jack kline#tfw2.0#dadstiel#adopted jack kline#adoptee jack kline#jack and his three dads#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#sam winchester#also if i get any hate about this pls know im an adoptee and i will be loud abt ur hate. and if ur like whiskey why would u get hate???#bless ur fucking heart u have no idea what it’s like to be an adoptee who is anti adoption industry on the internet. i have genuinely gotten#more hate for being an adoptee than i have for being gay or trans. the things people say to us unwarranted r fucking abysmal
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All the cegan antis I see are those stupid Carl x reader people who write smut and then try and bash on us cos we ship cegan 💀 my guy you're writing smut of a minor too
I've said it before but I'll reiterate here:
It's okay to be possessive and protective of a character. It's okay to selfship and not want to share that character with others. Those are okay things.
What's NOT okay is harassing people for what they ship.
There are PLENTY of ships I don't like for characters, and I blacklist their tag! And that's okay. It's okay to do that. It's good to do that, actually! (For example: I don't like some Daryl ships because I see him as aroace and am picky with who I MAYBE ship him with, so I block the tags, and that's well within my right to do that.)
It's also fine to like some ships in some capacity but not others. It's okay to like some ships soft but not like how it's portrayed by the majority of people, and so you block the tag.
But putting anti nonsense in the tag of the ship and then being SHOCKED when people block you, or rise to the bait (like you wanted) is so fucking stupid. It's so childish. And not even like toddler childish, it's middleschool childish. It's immature.
If you're younger than 13, you shouldn't be on tumblr. If you're younger than 18, you shouldn't be reading or writing smut openly.
Teens are going to do whatever the fuck they want, gods know I did, but be fucking subtle, don't draw fucking attention to yourself, and if an adult says Do Not Interact if you're a minor then fucking don't.
I'm going off on a tangent but my point is internet etiquette has been lost in fandom spaces because people who aren't freaks and weirdos fucking infiltrated and now they won't leave.
#shipcourse#i fucking hate antis and i have a thing i want to say abt them but alas#ask#anon#ecks barks back#and what REALLY gets me is the whole “Thats a MINOR” and then i see their posts are smutty and involve carl but hes aged up#what like i cant do that? i cant make him 18? or 19? fuck i csnt make him 21???? fuck your hypocrisy tbh#anyway yeah i hate antis ksjskcnen
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
CHAPTER SEVEN: SHE'S THUNDERSTORMS
← prev chapter // next chapter →
✦ summary: in which corroded coffin performs at the hideout (wc: 9.3k+)
✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF, jealousy, jealous!menace!eddie, the kiddos make an appearance!!!, uhmm kissing,,, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, uhm thats it i think.
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. hopefully this makes up for it. as usual the song is by arctic monkeys, and the other song mentioned is lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. but we'll pretend like its all by corroded coffin so shshsh.
anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗
series masterlist | series playlist
“Dude, I’m telling you it was not my fault.” Gareth exasperated desperately, hands up in the air in defeat.
But Eddie was quick to shake his head, “You drove her here, how is it not your fucking fault, Gareth?” He spat, bitter and angry.
“She insisted! She wants to apologize to Pinky!”
“What?” Confusion etched across Eddie’s face.
With an annoyed sigh, “Yeah, the whole fuckin’ world has to revolve around her,” Gareth muttered under his breath, knowing that saying anything about you would drive Eddie crazy.
“Watch it,” Eddie warned, mouth downturned in disgust almost immediately.
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Gareth, I’m not gonna tell you this a second fuckin’ time, okay? Don’t do that shit around me and never say one fucking word about her again, you got that?” He gritted through his teeth, his hand unintentionally clenching into a fist.
“Jesus Christ.”
“I mean it,” Eddie spat.
“Fine, fine!” Gareth threw his hands up in defeat, both of them downing their drink before scurrying away.
Shit.
You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get a drink for the group, surfing through the sea of people—which was unusual for The Hideout. Still, you guessed the only celebrity from Hawkins was enough to have people swarming in, and Gareth and Eddie happened to be chatting right behind you.
Even though it stung to hear Gareth talk of you like you were the fucking anti-christ, hearing Eddie defend you like that had that familiar warmth spread through your entire body. And you hated it, you hated the soft spot you’d always have for him, how it would take you back to five years ago when he would be there for you, every single time.
Fucking great, you had so many people to avoid tonight; Chrissy, Gareth, and Eddie.
With a sigh, you quickly disappeared into the crowd, carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. Plopping it on the booth with a slight sloosh.
Everyone reached for it and you were quick to slap away Max, Lucas, and Dustin’s curious hands. “Oh, come on!” Max protested with a groan.
“Not legal,” you hummed with a narrowed gaze. “Yeah, I’m sure you were legal when you were shotgunning beers and smoking joints like it was your lifeline during senior year,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, quick to get settled into his seat with a huff.
You gasped dramatically, “Lucas Sinclair!” Exclaiming as he gave you a simple shrug.
“So what’s new with you and Mr. Rockstar, now?” He teased, and you narrowed your gaze at Max who snickered underneath her hand.
“Nothing,” You mumbled, shying away from everyone’s gaze on you.
“Good thing, we can always ask the other party, too,” Dustin chimed in with a smirk, head pointing toward behind you.
There was a slow tap on your shoulder and you were quick to jerk your body around.
Of course.
Eddie.
His soft gaze was dumbly addicting, that boyish grin curled deliciously on his lips while amber eyes took you in wholly.
His gaze wandered to your figure, the midnight blue dress embracing your figure, accentuating your curves, its hem grazed against your mid-thigh, allowing him to get a glimpse of your sun-kissed legs, simple but exuding how breathtakingly pretty you were.
He couldn’t place why your brows were so tightly pinched together, or why your arms were crossed against your chest, plump lips downturned with a pout. Still, you looked so pretty, so alluring that he could barely form any sentence.
Mind captured entirely by you, almost feeling paralyzed while he took you in.
“H—hey!” He stammered, awkwardly putting his hands in the back pocket of his chained black jeans. He was just him, and oh, god, you were you.
Plush lips that curled into the prettiest smile, the most captivating eyes, even when you seemingly looked upset, brows pinched together, those glossy lips downturned, you were perfect.
You ignored Eddie’s greeting, your piercing glare was still not that noticeable to him, all he could think about was how beautiful you looked, and how he was glad that he saw you before his set. He wanted nothing more than to see you watching him perform the songs he wrote all about you.
“Wow… Uhh—you look… amazing,” He mumbled, breath getting hitched on his throat when he saw your unreadable expression.
And all you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile. Almost immediately wiping that glow off of his face, face going momentarily blank.
But he should’ve expected this, he knew you wouldn’t jump into his arms at any opportunity, he deserved this. He needed to do more, he needed to win you back.
He opened his mouth to speak, desperate, needing your approval, but you interrupted. “I—I’m going to get a drink,” you mumbled, face flushed with heat, you didn’t know how to act either.
Eddie glanced over at the tray of drinks on the booth, with his head tilted, “there’s a bunch of drinks over there,” he mumbled, he didn’t want you to leave.
“I can see that, but I still want my own,” you sassed with a narrowed gaze, not letting him talk back once you left to go to the bar.
Eddie watched your figure leave with a deep sigh, turning to the booth to take one of the drinks. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Yup,” Steve muttered with a nod, and Eddie was quick to give him a death glare.
“So, will you finally enlighten us on what happened with you and Mrs. Grumpy over there?” Dustin huffed impatiently, grabbing three drinks from the tray now that you were gone, handing the other two to Max and Lucas with a grin.
“She didn’t tell you guys?”
“No! Which is a shame because she usually can’t say no to my adorable face.” Dustin blinked quickly, batting his eyelashes while Eddie shook his head at him with a chuckle.
“Oh c’mon, Eddie, just tell us!” Max let out an impatient huff, her captivating icy blue gaze was pleading in a way that he could never say no to.
These doofuses would always be his weakness.
“Yeah, Eddie, pretty please?” Lucas added exaggeratedly, mocking Max as she hit him in the chest playfully.
“Fine, fine!” He sighed, running his hand over his forehead in frustration.
“But nothing really happened and I don’t think it’s—” When he felt everyone’s gaze piercing through him, he was quick to shut up. “Okay, okay!” He huffed.
“She came to my trailer guns ablaze and then just slammed the note against my chest, calling me a coward, and then I told her off—”
“Wait what?” Max was quick to interrupt him, brows pinching together.
“Yeah, I told her I wasn’t the one who left.”
“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t you kiss Chrissy in front of her?” Max taunted.
“Yeah, and did you not bring her to Steve’s?” Dustin added.
With a huff, he turned back to Steve. “Jesus, Harrington, did you gang up all of them against me?” He just gave Eddie a shrug.
“That’s not even the point! Everything has just become too convoluted with us,” He spat, anger returning quicker than you intended to, while the rest of the gang sipped their drinks with an ‘oof’.
“It’s not convoluted, just tell her how you feel!” Max inquired, gently, almost like she was trying not to tip him off.
“I—” He took a deep breath. I will. He wished to say, but saying it out loud felt too real. And you were right, he was a coward.
“I’m gonna properly apologize and make things right by her,” he muttered, taking a big sip from his drink.
“You better hurry up, rockstar,” Steve taunted smugly, the weird face he pulled was making crinkles appear on Eddie’s forehead.
Eddie’s head cocked toward Steve, aggressively. “You better tell her how sorry you fucking are.”
With an all-knowing snort, Steve’s finger accusingly pointed towards something behind him. “Or someone else might swoop in.”
“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes before he turned around with a huff.
Oh, shit.
Everyone’s gaze turned toward Steve’s accusatory finger, a slight ‘shit’ escaping from Robin’s lips which Nancy elbowed gently to shut her up.
Eddie could barely move, his entire face feeling hot and jaw clenching involuntarily, jealousy shooting through him faster than the alcohol swimming in his system.
Because there you stood, in front of the bar, with your head tilted sideways, a pretty grin sitting on your lips, mellow gaze looking up at the guy in front of you—dirty blonde, hair cut shorter than Eddie’s but almost as long as Steve’s, wearing the most expensive and tidy outfit Eddie had ever seen—making him feel stupid for choosing to wear those black chained jeans.
His scowl was anything but pretty, brows furrowing in a way that made him look like a complex puzzle, eyeing the way this stranger was touching you.
“Oh, isn’t that—” Robin spoke up, and the entire table shushed her because they also realized exactly who that was.
James.
Your ex, not Billy, of course, the other douchebag before Billy.
He really wasn’t much of a douchebag, a genuine, nice guy, and to make matters worse he was a total gentleman; attributes Eddie would never call a typical high school Jock.
The relationship only ended because he went to college one too many states away, the distance getting between the two of you, but Eddie always referred to him as ‘the douchebag’ The jealous feeling sunk into his chest even then.
Rich kid, a jock in high school, older than both of you, someone who had his life together. Everything that Eddie never was. Everything Eddie always wished to be.
But now, seeing you with him made something almost click in Eddie’s head, like he was meant for you as he suited you much better than Eddie ever would.
He could treat you much better than Eddie would, sure Eddie had his name now, the riches he never had back in high school. But he was still just Eddie.
And he was certain James never kissed Chrissy, he’d never fuck up like Eddie did.
He watched the way your eyes lit up when he was animatedly talking, his gentle touch on your arm, the smile that curled on your lips.
What if he asked for your number? What if he wanted to reconnect? What if you said yes? Just because Eddie had been a total fucking idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him?
He tried so hard to push the idea of the two of you together back into his mind. To make sure it never left, to make sure it never manifested.
But the way his jaw clenched and the deadly glare burning through both of you showed that he couldn’t.
He was jealous, a type of jealousy that quickly translated into anger, one he could almost feel on his skin, hot and prickling rage stabbing into his body, agonizingly slow, making it harder for him to stay glued there and not do anything the more he eyed the hold James had on you. He was standing too close for Eddie’s liking.
Usually, he’d let this feeling sink back into his mind, take a breather, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and then act like nothing was wrong for the rest of the night while he spent it sulking. Keep that rage caged in his chest, so he could keep his feelings contained.
But he couldn’t do that this time, no. He wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, not again. He was going to fight for you, he was going to show you that you belonged with him.
No matter what Mr. Fancy Pants could offer to you, he needed to tell you how he really felt, he needed to make sure you knew. Because even if he could feel the insecurities jabbing into his brain, he always knew, deep down that there was something there between the two of you. Something always left undiscovered because both of you were cowards.
He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
“Oh, I get the appeal now,” Max murmured, breaking the silence between everyone, and earning a hard glare from Eddie.
“What? He seems nice, has pretty hair, much better than Steve’s, and that outfit probably cost more than your wedding,” Max spoke bluntly, now earning more than just the hard glare of Eddie, mouth hung open Steve looked offended, Nancy and Jonathan narrowed their gaze, but Robin snickered behind her hand, almost giving Max her approval.
“Max!” Lucas reacted before them and Max furrowed her brows, a smirk earning her way to her lips. “You’re still my number one Lucas, don’t worry,” She hummed, pinching Lucas’ cheek and ignoring Dustin’s groan.
“Dude, why would you do that?” Dustin whispered, eyeing Eddie worriedly while nudging Steve by his jacket.
With a dramatic huff, Steve pulled his collar back, “Relax, I know what I’m doing.”
Eddie’s fingertips absentmindedly traced the rim of the glass in front of him, his eyes never leaving the two of you when he downed the drink, slamming it back on the booth, making everyone flinch.
“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, a forced chuckle escaping his lips.
“What are you even going to do?” Robin inquired, almost mocking.
A smirk landed on Eddie’s face. “I’m not going down without a fight, Buckley.”
“Not this fucking time,” he hissed, almost all the brows of the gang raising at his determination.
“I’m gonna tell her how I feel, and I’m not letting another douchebag ruin this,” Eddie mumbled, and a dumb smirk was placed on everyone’s face almost too quickly.
He was going for it, and the soap opera was continuing, the gang watched in excitement.
“Was he ever really a doucheba—” Dustin’s worries were quick to die down when he threw him a deadly glare.
Without another word, he stormed off to the side of the bar. Quick, too fucking quickly that it almost gave him a whiplash. He didn’t know what had taken over him, eyes burning the back of their figures as everyone else at the table watched him with a proud look.
But the child-like jealousy he felt within his body was uncontainable, it felt like his face was almost too hot to touch, he was desperate, quite literally.
The tap on James’ shoulder was anything but gentle, making him turn to Eddie with his pair of brows furrowed, and Eddie’s muscles were quick to tense.
His dark gaze only softened when he looked back at you, muscles relaxing, and creased brows returning to their normal form.
The jealousy eased inside of him, not dissipating quite enough, but slowing with one gaze from you.
Back in the booth, with another sip from his drink, Lucas huffed, “Five bucks says they’ll confess by tonight.”
Robin was quick to snort at him, “You’re trusting them too much, kid, Steve’s ‘little push’ might help them,” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “But Jesus fucking Christ, just look at her face, she’s going to go off at him. The most they’ll probably do is have another fight, get just a little bit close to talking about their feelings, and then do it all over again.”
Steve, ignoring Robin’s theories, exclaimed with a smirk. “Ten bucks that Pinky will sleep with Eddie tonight!”
“I second that,” Max said with a grin.
“Steve!” Nancy warned with a disapproving tut.
“What?” He huffed.
“They’re kids!”
“We’re nineteen!” Max groaned.
“I turn twenty next month!” Dustin chimed in.
“Still!”
“Fine, fine!” Steve sighed with a glare at Nancy, “Then ten bucks that they’ll kiss tonight!”
“No fucking way.” Robin shook her head.
“Nah, they’ll at least kiss tonight,” Jonathan said with crossed arms.
“Are you guys seriously betting on our friends?” Nancy said with a furrowed brow.
They all nodded vigorously, “Fine,” Nancy muttered.
“Then I second Steve, ten bucks for them sle-kissing.” Nancy corrected herself, earning a wicked grin from Steve.
“Come on!” Robin groaned, dissatisfied by Nancy’s answer.
“I agree with Robin,” said Dustin with a shrug.
“Finally!” Robin exclaimed, hands rubbing together in victory. “Someone with common sense. There’s no way those idiots are going to do anything but fight, just watch her come back here, all fuming about how much she hates Eddie.”
They all shrugged, going back to continue watching the soap opera unravel in front of them.
“James!” Eddie greeted with faux excitement, a grin playing on his lips, amber gaze remaining on you. With your brows creased, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ you mouthed behind their awkward hug.
He shrugged, and his hands clutched James’ shoulder harshly, making him chuckle awkwardly. “Munson, the man of the hour!” He greeted him with a beaming smile.
He really was too nice for his own good, wasn’t he?
“I’d ask what you were up to, but it seems you’ve been doing just fine, rockstar,” James exclaimed, returning a friendly slap to Eddie on his shoulder—in a much nicer way than Eddie intended with his.
You smiled uncomfortably, your gaze still throwing daggers at Eddie, who was actively avoiding it. “I have to say that last album? Fucking Christ, had it playing over and over again for days.” He beamed again, much to both of your dismay.
That all-knowing smirk on Eddie’s face disappeared, the unexpected compliment seemed to make him uncomfortable, conflicting with the defensive walls he had put up.
“Uhh—thanks man,” he chuckled awkwardly, casting a quick, scrutinizing glance at you, catching the small smirk on your lips.
“What have you been up to?” He asked, curiously, desperate to know what the two of you were talking about, nervous to see if the two of you would do anything more than this.
The confidence in the way James held himself, his slicked hair, his fancy outfits up close, Eddie’s insecurities washed him over once again. Now with that part of his brain convincing him that the two of you would somehow end up together again.
“Oh, you know, I was just in town, got a nice job here, thought I’d stop by to see Corroded Coffin play, been seeing the posters everywhere—great marketing by the way,” He hummed, flashing Eddie a smile.
And Eddie returned a forced one, lips pursed together in annoyance. “and then I thought I’d get a drink, but then I heard this familiar voice next to me, yelling to the guy next to her to fuck off for attempting to steal her drink, and I thought oh that’s Pinky.” Eddie couldn’t help but not keep his gaze on you, studying your features, almost gauging your reaction, trying to nitpick something to fuel his jealousy.
“Been a long time, but I’d never miss this one’s sassy voice and that pretty face,” He mumbled with a sly smirk, making Eddie’s face scrunch and almost making him scoff out loudly.
“Oh, stop it!” You mumbled with a smile, all flattered, and Eddie’s gaze narrowed, jealousy overtaking him again.
“So you two are… reconnecting for the old times' sake, huh?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Eddie—”
With a smile, James turned to you, “I mean I’d love to grab a drink, are you free tomorrow?”
“Ah! I wish I could, but I need to help Nancy out with some wedding stuff.”
“How about next wee—”
“She’s busy,” Eddie interjected quickly.
“Eddie!” You warned with your brows raised, heat rising to your cheeks, what the fuck was he doing?
“Can I just—steal you away for a minute?” Eddie turned to you with his jealous gaze, hand gently having a hold on your arm.
“Oh, sure, man!”
“No!” You and James exclaimed in unison.
James stared at the two of you with his brows furrowed, both of you breathing heavily, an intense gaze connecting the two of you. With a sigh, you followed him out of the crowd, an apologetic smile thrown toward James.
“What the hell are you doing?”
You scoffed, “Me? What the hell are you doing, Eddie?” You snapped, naze garrowing.
“I’m not locking lips with James that’s for sure!”
“Jesus Christ I was not locking lips with—” You halted abruptly, the absurdity of the sentence hitting you like a wave. Taking a moment to breathe, “What are you a child?”
“Well, if pointing out the obvious means I’m a child then so fucking be it!” The words tumbled out of his mouth harshly, almost lost in the din of the bar.
“The obvious? Do I need to remind you that you were the one who kissed Chrissy?” You accused sharply, your anger returning and cutting through Eddie’s jealousy like a knife.
“Look, I—I’m genuinely sorry for that, Pinky, I am. I should’ve never done that, it was a mistake—” His voice strained, getting lost amidst the background clamor, their set was about to start and Eddie could careless.
He took a step closer, but you didn’t budge. “You don’t kiss someone as a mistake, Eddie! You don’t invite them to brunch as a fucking mistake!” You snapped, tone a poignant mix of bitterness, jealousy, and an equal amount of hurt. Teary yet ablaze gaze bored into Eddie's, breaking his heart more and more.
His shoulders sagged under the weight of your words, the realization of the irreparable damage sinking in.
He took a step closer, a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap.“Will you just listen to me?” Eddie's plea hung in the air, the room seemingly shrinking as you and Eddie’s gaze connected. Your breaths mingled, heavy with unspoken words that pulsed between you.
Only inches apart, and you couldn’t help it when your gaze drooped down to his lips, then back to his mellow eyes.
“Eddie, this is the fifth fucking time they’ve been calling you.” Gareth’s irritating voice snapped the conversation, loud enough to have you almost jump back, as you threw Gareth a daggering gaze.
“Just fucking wait for a second,” Eddie spat, trying to dismiss him, but the moment was gone.
And Gareth wasn’t having it. “No way, dude we go on in like five minutes,” He scoffed, momentarily dragging Eddie by his arm.
“Fine, fine!” Eddie scowled, shaking off the hold.
“You should uh— go.”
“Let me explain,” He almost begged, desperate.
But with another dismissal, you left.
Eddie wanted to drop everything and run to you, apologize, tell you what he felt, but somehow, some way he was always managing to fuck up the things between the two of you, now.
It was like he was fourteen again, his dad letting him know that he always managed to fuck up something good, that he was destined to the Munson name. Like he could never manage to do something right.
Wayne, Jonathan, Corroded Coffin, and Nancy all changed that belief.
But, you? Oh, god, you made him believe that he was good, you pulled him out of that darkness, you were the first one to believe in him, you were the one who encouraged him. You made him feel like he was on the right path, always.
And you were the one who mattered, if he didn’t have you believing that now, what else did he have?
With a hand on his shoulder, Jeff was dragging him back, he stared at your figure leaving, and with a sigh, he headed backstage.
-
Aurora was the fifth song they sang, and it should’ve gotten to you, the way his gaze didn’t leave yours, how vulnerable he sounded, the way he barely even made eye contact with the guitar he was supposed to be focusing on, that should’ve gotten to you.
But it didn’t.
Your glossy gaze and your crossed arms, as everyone else around you cheered for him, did nothing but upset you more and more.
Everything was so confusing that you couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore. Yes, you were mad about everything with Chrissy, but you also knew he didn’t know everything that transpired between you and her.
Chrissy and Billy should’ve been enough for him to not want anything to do with her, yet you still believed him when he told you it was a mistake, that he would’ve never done it if he knew. And the pool… the things he said in the car. Hours ago when you went to his trailer.
Sure, he was sorry, and he said he’d prove himself to you.
But none of you ever out loud said anything, it had always been a cowardice dance around your feelings, and you were afraid that if this dance ended, then it would be all too real. It would all be over.
A heave of breath exited your lips, attempting to drown away the worries, but they were spiked up the second the song ended and Eddie spoke up again.
“This next song is for my friends over there, Nancy and Jonathan,” He exclaimed with a grin, finger excitedly pointing towards the two of them, it was the first time his gaze had left yours, involuntarily your head turned to your right.
“They’re getting married this weekend, and were kind enough to let me and my dipshit friends play,” He said with a sheepish grin, and Nancy and Jonathan shyly smiled at him, waving him off in a dismissive way,
“So this is for the soon-to-be newlywed couple, and for the special girl next to them, who’s mad at me for a lot of reasons, and she has every right to be, I was a total ass.” He earned chuckles and some cheering from the crowd, who unintentionally all faced you.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but hey, maybe this might help my case, huh?” He said with a grin, his gaze was dangerously addicting, full of promises, and you couldn’t help the way it made stupid butterflies appear in your stomach.
It was so easy for him to get you like this, you were starting to feel pathetic.
Speechless, and the heat quick to rise to your cheeks, you were trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the crowd, but it was basically impossible.
The opening chords were enough to rattle your memory, the dreamy guitar riffs from Eddie sweeping in echoing the space as if it was just the two of you.
You knew exactly which song he was playing.
And the vocals, added with Eddie’s smooth, sultry voice were enough to have your heartbeat raising making you almost feel small, haziness overtaking your mind.
And it only brought back one memory to your mind.
FIVE YEARS AGO.
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.
Another job interview, another opportunity you feel like you have missed.
It hadn’t been long since the two of you had arrived in Los Angeles, yet every passing minute felt like you had been wasting away your time, you needed a job, and no one in stupid LA was hiring you.
A groan escaped your lips when you plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to Eddie who was way too into scribbling something into a notebook.
Wait… was he using the…?
“Is that… the notebook?” Your eyes lit up happily. It was such a small, stupid thing.
But for you, it was important. That notebook was important. And you never actually thought he’d care about it, but it looked like he was carrying it in his back pocket.
“Is that a crime?” Eddie sassed.
With a scoff, you narrowed your gaze. “No, doofus! I just didn’t think you’d actually use it.”
Almost taken aback Eddie sat up straight on the couch, knees brushing against yours now. “Are you kidding? Half of this bad boy is filled with lyrics.”
“What is the other half made of?” You asked with a dangerous grin.
“You’d have to kill me to find out.” Eddie enunciated dramatically, tone drooping lower to mimic mystery.
“Oh, come on!” You huffed, curiosity getting the best of you. Scooting closer to him, you pouted. “Can’t you at least give me something?” You asked, all doe-eyed, tone sticky sweet, in a way that always got to Eddie.
“Oh, sweetheart,” He groaned, almost melting into you, “You know I’ll give you anything if you ask that sweetly.”
You grinned happily, clapping your hands together in victory once he ripped up a page and handed it to you.
“That is the chorus of a song I’m working on,” He mumbled, eyes nervously following you, waiting to read your reaction.
She's thunderstorms
Lying on her front, up against the wall
She's thunderstorms
Your eyes blinked quickly to process everything. It had been not too long since the both of you had come to L.A., Eddie was desperately trying to send the band’s best material to any label who was willing to sign them.
And you had just gotten out of a horrible relationship, things had not been steady enough for the two of you to ever discuss anything about your feelings, always tip-toeing around it, but too scared to ever actually delve into it.
Yet, you could tell this was about you, something about being described as thunderstorms stuck to your mind, maybe he somehow meant it as good. But all it reminded you of was destruction. And he wasn’t wrong.
It was like everywhere you went, something horrible followed, exactly like a dark cloud looming over, waiting to strike anyone daring to be near you.
Your hand flew to your mouth, teeth grazing through your nails anxiously. “Who’s this thunderstorm girl?” You asked, masking your nervousness with a brittle smile.
He snatched the notebook back, ignoring your little huff. “Someone I went to school with,” He answered cooly and then leaned further into your face with a grin. “I was drivin’ around one day, then saw this girl’s car on the side of the road, to be nice I helped fix her car but then she became totally obsessed with me.” He recalled the first time he met you, animatedly.
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah, didn’t leave me alone for years.”
With a narrowed gaze, “Asshole,” you bantered.
“That’s so weird,” He hummed with a smirk “That was her favorite nickname for me,” quipped Eddie and you stuck your tongue at him childishly.
With a slight push on his elbow, he drew closer to you. “So… what did you think?” He coaxed nervously, you could tell it was important to him, yet being this close was making your mind spin.
“I like it,” you muttered, unable to face his beautiful features when he was so close, and your mind spinning with the fact that Eddie thought of you as destructive, too.
“That’s it? You… just like it?”
“No that’s not it, it’s just—” With a sigh you snatched back the notebook from his hands. “It’s just… isn’t this bad?”
“What?” His brows creased together in worry, “W-which one did you not like I can change it-” You shook your head, interrupting his anxious ramble.
“No! I love all of them! But describing… uh—this girl,” Tip-toeing around it, causing Eddie to smirk. “As thunderstorms? Isn’t that bad?”
“No, not at all. It’s a metaphor.” He shook his head, explaining gently.
“She embodies the essence of thunderstorms—unpredictable and explosive. She has the power to create chaos and destruction, and on the surface that might sound bad, yet within that destruction she sparks a new life. You know, making it so much better,” He hummed, licking his lips.
“And she also feels like a thunderstorm, intense and electrifying, shaking up your life, in the best way possible.”
“Oh. Wow,” You mumbled, gaze turning mellow with how well he explained everything, heart melting with how he saw you, not just from the surface, like he could peel the intricate layers of your existence, appreciating every part of it.
“Uhh, then I love that actually,” you concluded with a smile, attempting to mask the fluttering in your stomach. Did he really see you in that way?
Did he really see you as someone worth all of this? You tried to ignore the tears prickling in your eyes, begging to pour out, but you weren’t going to ruin this moment.
You didn’t deserve him. In the slightest. He didn’t deserve to get caught up in your bullshit. You shouldn’t have dragged him here. You were being selfish, but, god, did it feel good.
To finally feel safe, to finally have someone take care of you, to finally have someone you could rely on. After everything, didn’t you at least deserve to be a little selfish?
But that feeling ate away at you, even though you shook it off for the moment, it was eventually going to return. And it did.
“You do?” His brows raised in surprise, it made you want to fuck all and just grab his cheeks and kiss him, lips plush together until the two of you couldn’t breathe.
But you couldn’t afford that, you couldn’t afford the feelings, nor could you afford the fallout. You couldn’t lose him.
“Mhmm,” You answered with a broken smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He always did.
“She sounds special.”
“She is,” Eddie agreed, eyeing you with a worried look. “Very, very special,” He repeated, he could tell something was off.
But it was okay, because he was here for you now, and he wasn’t going to leave.
NOW:
Suddenly the room felt suffocating.
Eddie’s gaze on you felt mocking.
It was stupid, he had just dedicated the song to you, yet all your mind could focus on was everything bad that had happened. Ruining everything good that happened with him.
How were you even going to be with him if you couldn’t even handle this?
Fear, trust issues, being afraid of not knowing how things were going to go, if you would fuck this up too, then that was it for you. No one else could compare, and you knew that.
Maybe if you just knew that the same went for Eddie, if you just could see that the five years you spent apart had been just as hell-ish for him if not more. The constant thoughts in his mind reminded him that he could never be over you, truly. Sure, it hurt less now, but the scar was still there, scabbing the second someone mentioned you. The realization of knowing no one could ever be you etched onto his skin.
“Hey… you okay?” Steve’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts, Eddie’s voice served as a background noise while his gaze was still stuck on you.
“Y-yeah, I just—” You faltered, face growing numb and anxiety increasing when you suddenly needed some air.
Too much, all of it was too much.
Eddie could almost sense it, he grew worried at your frowny brows and your tear-streaked gaze.
“I’ll be right back,” you mumbled, body jerking back scurrying out quickly when you ignored everyone calling out for your name.
Eddie’s vocals almost halted, missing a few notes on the guitar before Gareth was quick to snap him back to it.
His head cocked toward your direction, desperate, nearly begging to stop the show, but all of them shook their head quickly, and once Eddie turned back to see the look on Jonathan and Nancy’s face, he realized he couldn’t do this to them.
This was his friends' wedding, and he owed this to them. When the song ended, he was quick to mouth to the others, “After the next song, we’re taking a break.” It wasn’t a request, it was final.
And frankly, the rest of them were too tired out to even argue with a hot-headed Eddie.
“So how is your plan working, dingus?” Robin jeered at Steve.
“Shut up.”
There were a couple more people outside, all leaning against the wall, chuckling while talking over each other loudly, the smoke of their lit cigarettes quick to take over your senses.
With a cough, you leaned further away from them, mind still unraveling what had just happened. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore.
You wanted to smoke, hand itched to reach for the pocket of your jacket and light one to take away your stress, but you could barely breathe as it was right now.
A light tap on your shoulder snapped you away from your thoughts.
Who was it now?
You huffed loudly when your head cocked back.
Fucking great.
Chrissy.
“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance, this just had to be your luck, your feet picked up quickly, hand quick to reach for the door and go back inside.
“Please, please don’t leave,” She pleaded.
Your hold on the door remained, barely glancing back at her, “Just leave me alone!” You snapped.
“I just want to apologize, please, then I’ll leave you alone, forever.”
“Please, just five minutes.”
You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t.
Your hold on the door faltered, and with a deep sigh, you turned to her. “Fine.”
“Five minutes,” You warned, your patience already wearing thin.
Her face lit up, blinking a few times to make sure she heard you correctly. “O-oh, okay, good,” She cleared her throat.
“First of all, I’m sorry, for everything, for what I said five years ago, for what I did with Billy, for using what he did to you like a fucking joke. For w-what I said about your parents.” She stammered.
“It’s too late, I know, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done any of those things, you didn’t deserve it. You deserved a better friend, someone like you.” She almost looked at you like she was waiting for your approval, gauging your reaction, your expressionless face encouraged her to continue.
“I was bitter, jealous. Which isn’t a fucking excuse, I know, I was just—” she took a deep breath. “You were everything I wanted to be, careless, had all the boys' attention, and you didn’t even have to try, you didn’t have to do anything, and they’d just fall at your feet. And I was stupid, bitter, and insecure enough to envy that.”
“That’s not my problem, Chrissy.” You spat out with your gaze narrowing, you couldn’t handle her pity party right now.
“And really, you wanted to be me? Chrissy I didn’t have parents, my boyfriend was a narcissistic asshole.I was broke.” You scoffed with an ironic chuckle, shaking your head in anger.
“I know, I know. It was stupid, and I was stupid, and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Sincerity. Something you haven’t seen from her in years.
“I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault.” Now your gaze narrowed, a chuckle rolling on your lips.
You opened your mouth to speak, to protest. “No, I know you’re going to say you didn’t think that but I know you do. Even though you hate me, which I don’t blame you, I know you like the back of my hand, you blame yourself, you always did it. And I’m telling you shouldn’t because it was all my fault. A-and I shouldn’t have done whatever I did with Eddie, I practically took advantage of him like he did to me and then got mad at him, oh god, I’m such a fucking bitch, aren’t I?”
Your eyes blinked quickly to process all of it. Her apology didn’t mean anything, her words didn’t mean anything. But deep down, you knew she was right, even if you wouldn’t admit it. Because you spent many nights blaming yourself, for even opening up to them in the first place.
“First of all, breathe,” you mumbled with annoyance.
“Second of all, yes you are,” you huffed.
“And, taking advantage? What do you mean?”
“Some fucked up part of me wanted him because I knew you wanted him back then, a-and he was right there and he was being nice to me and—” Chrissy took a deep sigh, big blue eyes staring into you knowing that you were not going to like what she was going to say.
“I should’ve known.”
With puckered brows, you crossed your arms against your chest. “Known what?”
“That he was still hung up on you,” she muttered.
You were quick to roll your eyes, “Chrissy—”
“No, no just listen.” But she wasn’t going to let you spiral.
“Look you were dumb enough then—” You threw her a glare, so daggeringly cold that she stopped.
“Sorry,” she muttered before continuing, “Look, the two of you wasted a lot of time. And I know it’s funny hearing this from me because I took part in it, but I’m only saying this because he’s a nice guy, even though I don’t particularly like him right now, he’s a nice guy, and you deserve someone like him.” She enunciated, azure hues embodying such sympathy that had you taken aback.
“You loved him back then, too. I could see it, and I could see it in him, too. That’s what I always wanted, and maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much. But I knew he never got over you.”
You could feel your heart skip a beat, it wasn’t anything new, but hearing this from her, it meant something.
You needed to take control of your feelings, and hearing Chrissy’s words was doing nothing but fuel them more. “Chrissy stop—”
“No, Pinky! He told me! He told me it was you! It had always been you!” She exclaimed, her face growing a nice pink color as you stood frozen.
Your brain felt mushy, rest of your body felt so warm, but still that anger lingered. Why couldn’t he just tell you this? Why couldn’t he just show you?
“What?” You mumbled, brows pinched together.
“Yes!” She exclaimed, sighing at your reaction.
“Look, I just wanted to tell you this, and tell you to get your head out of your ass. I know I’m the last person you wanted to hear this from, but I had to at least make one thing right for you because I know I fucked up every other thing.”
You wanted to tell her to stay the fuck out of it, you wanted to tell her it was all because of her. That she basically ruined your life. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t all her, it was Billy, too. It wasn’t all her, Eddie played a part in it, too.
But you weren’t going to waste your breath, you didn’t need to blow up in her face for her to know she was wrong, she needed to let that feeling sink in. You weren’t going to forgive her, and you didn’t need to make a fuss about it to feel real.
This was it. A closure.
“I’m sorry, for everything. And I know that you won’t forgive me, but that’s okay. I’m sorry, but please listen to what I just said. Please don’t get in your head and try to ruin something this perfect, okay?”
A peaceful smile appeared on your lips, and you took a deep breath. “You’re right, I won’t forgive you.” You weren’t going to give her any satisfaction or approval, her words didn’t mean a thing.
“Goodbye, Chrissy.” You mumbled.
You could see her stammering, struggling to open her mouth, because she couldn’t say anything else, and this is what she promised, five minutes. It was over.
You backed yourself against the wall, fingers fishing out the pack of cigarettes sitting in the pocket of your jacket.
Without having anything else left to say, she left. And you heaved a sigh of breath, the tip of your cigarette smoldering when you lit it.
You inhaled with eyes squeezed shut, head swirling with much to think about. But at least you were alone. Finally, some space for you to think, and to lay out a little bit of your stress with the most unhealthy outlet.
And of course, that peace lasted for about a few minutes, just when you had finished your cigarette, squishing the remains on the nearest trashcan, Eddie appeared, lightly squeezing your arm to have your attention.
“What?” You snapped when you saw him, eyeing the way he looked taken aback.
His hands held up in front of his chest in defeat, clearly not understanding your sudden rage. The laughter around you had died, people who were smoking outside the bar were clearly more entertained by your drama.
With a huff, you dragged Eddie away from it all, still close to the bar but far away to not have any other distractions.
He sighed, brows etched with worry. “Why did you leave?”
Your hand flew to your forehead, trying to calm your nerves, trying to clear your mind. “Eddie, are you kidding me?” You scoffed, arms wrapped across your chest defensively. “You can’t just drag me away from James, dedicate songs to me and—”
His forehead puckered. “Why not? They’re all about you anyway,” he said with a sly smirk.
“Aurora, She’s Thunderstorms, Zero, Forget Her, Resolve, Fool, two fucking albums, all dedicated to you, you know that.”
“These notes? These stupid notes I’ve been carrying?” He huffed loudly, hand quick to fish inside of his back pocket, aggressively flipping through the pages. “Even if every nerve in my body were numb I’d still be able to feel her.” He turned the page toward you before flipping again.
“I have tried to forget you but I can’t, you invade my dreams, my mind, my whole fucking life. You’re stuck in me and I don’t have the heart to get you out.” He shook his head, reciting it all like it was nothing, but you felt all of it.
His notes making you dizzy. His words scrambling your mind like never before.
“She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever. That one is uh—in a song, too,” he mumbled, cheeks flushing with how passionate he was getting, and you held your breath, it’s like you were staring into his soul.
Stark naked. Laying bare, he really was doing this. And you didn’t want him to stop, even though your mouth suggested otherwise.
“And so much more embarrassing stuff that I don’t want to include to not ruin my chances,” he muttered with a lazy smile, and you hated that you could feel it in your skin, the flutters, stomach flipping in the best possible way.
“All fucking about you. Because it was you, from the moment we met.”
“S—stop,” your mouth betrayed you, it was the furthest thing from the truth, and you needed to hear more. You needed the reassurance, you needed him to convince you. More than anything in the world.
But it was all so scary, and he was so close to you that you could feel his passion integrated into your veins.
“Why, Pinky, why should I stop? Why do we have to tip-toe around each other, huh?” He was desperate, eyes flashing with a newfound of desire for you, he wasn’t going to let it go this time.
And it scared you, him being this determined, getting so close to what you actually felt was making your skin crawl, because the way you could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage wasn’t normal. What he was making you feel wasn’t normal. “Because w—we can’t!”
“We can’t what?” He complained, a deep sigh escaping his lips.
“W—we can’t do this, you can’t—”
He shook his head with his brows puckered. “Who are you to decide that? I want to, I so badly want to,” He spat, taking a step closer to you, face merely inches away from you.
His gaze was dangerously inviting, those alluring amber eyes melted into yours, making your pupils dilate, breath hitching as you struggled to keep him away. “Please, Eddie, d—don’t.”
You gulped, hand raising to put a space between the two of you, but it was impossible. He was in your veins now. “Too much has happened, you with Chrissy and—” You didn’t even know what you were blabbering about, just anything to stop your feelings from getting out.
“Chrissy was a mistake!” He retorted with a hiss. He hated that you saw Chrissy as a problem between the two of you. Yes, he fucked up, but it really was a mistake, he’d take it all back in a heartbeat if he could.
Your gaze narrowed, that pettiness returned when you scoffed. “Which time, when you kissed her or when you brought her to brunch?”
Eddie let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head when he looked at you with a dumbfounded look. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He took a breather. “I can’t believe you’re doing that again,” he mumbled, realizing that it wasn’t going to be easy to get you out of this mindset.
It was going to be hard, to convince you of anything, and he understood that, he had trust issues himself, but he wasn’t going to back down. This was it.
You crossed your arms against your chest, gaze avoiding him momentarily. “Doing what?” You muttered.
“You just— you get scared when things get serious, running away when it gets just even a little bit too real,” He scoffed, angling closer to you, fingers ruffling through his curls in frustration.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah! You call me a coward and fucking look at you!” He snapped, hands gesturingly pointing to you.
“Scrambling just at the thought of us being together.” He argued, some part of him feeling a bit insecure, that maybe you didn’t want this. But, no, he saw that glint in your eyes, he knew the little angry twitch on your lips. You felt the same. And all you needed was a little push.
You breathed, mind scrambled and trying so hard to convince yourself to leave. “T—that’s not it, you—uh you just don’t get it!” You complained with a huff.
Another step closer. One more step and his lips would be on yours, Eddie knew this, you knew this. His gaze momentarily drooped down to your lips, then back to your dilated pupils.
“Then make me understand, let me help you, don’t fucking run, not this time.” It was a little jab, but something needed to get you to spill, he was playing all the right cards and you were getting overwhelmed.
“J—just stop!”
“Why? Fucking why? Tell me one good fucking reason as to why we shouldn’t try it, we never even gave it a chance!” He ranted, veins in his forehead popping with how much he was trying to keep it all together. And you weren’t even trying.
“We wouldn’t work, okay?”
He shook his head. “Not good enough,” He argued.
“W—we’re on two different paths now, Eddie.” You didn’t have any good excuses, he was right.
“Not good enough.” Once again, that same arguing tone.
You huffed. “Too much time passed and—”
“Not fucking good enough!” He cursed, hands landing on your shoulder to keep you in place, and your cheeks flushed immediately, while still trying to deny it. You were pathetic.
“Stop being a fucking coward!” He seethed, eyes fiery and red.
Why were you insisting on being so fucking stubborn? You were driving him crazy, yet it wasn’t going to stop him.
Coward is what had you scrambling. Because you knew he was right. “Fuck you,” You spat, body jerking quickly to leave, feet picking up quickly as Eddie groaned loudly.
So. Fucking. Stubborn.
He was quick on his feet, letting curses slip past his lips before he yanked you to him, earning a small gasp from your lips before you finally faced him.
Gaze mellow, but just as fiery, your furrowed brows and dilated pupils only encouraging him more and more. Flutters in your stomach had never left, your skin was burning, everywhere, but specifically on the hold he had on you.
You didn’t manage to utter anything else, you couldn’t because he had you this time. There was no running away from it, your heart was hammering so hard inside of your chest that you were sure he could hear it.
His hold on your arm was firm but somehow gentle, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let you go.
You opened your mouth, wanting to speak, but he interrupted, his hands now firmly cupping your cheeks, squishing you with force, and you couldn’t help the contended sigh that left your parted lips. “I’m not letting you run away, not this time,” He mumbled, words sounding like silk falling from his lips, all you could do was gaze into him. He stood inches away from you, breath fanning against your face.
He licked his lips desperately, gaze drooping to your candy-glossed, needy lips. Face so close that you could feel the desperation radiating off of him. And you shared it. You managed to take a quick breath before his hand fisted your hair and his mouth crashed down to yours.
He pressed you harder against his chest, breathless, your lips molded together, a perfect fit. And he could taste the Cosmopolitan on your tongue, a tinge of alcohol mixed with your sweetness, making his head spin, a taste he realized he’d never have enough of.
Those little thumps your heart did were now out of control, possibly pounding a million beats a second. His small stubble scratched against your chin, rough, it should’ve made you uncomfortable yet all it did was make you kiss him harder, shutting up your brain as your mouth replied to him, kissing him back with just as much force, you melted into him, melted into his hold, and you let him engulf you, fully, completely.
Plushy lips slightly parted apart, his tongue slipped past between your teeth, your hand finding its way to his hair, feeling the curly strands between your fingers, it’s softer than you expected and your lips parted to let out a slight whine as you tugged at them.
All those years of wishing, all those years of wanting, yearning, and needing exploded into this. Kissing like your lives depended on it, chests pressed against each other, Eddie’s hand slipping to your waist, desperately tugging you closer to him as if that was even possible.
Your heart exploded into your chest, his tongue not wavering the chance to explore yours, sucking on it, greedily, desperately.
The background noises disappeared, the cackles of the girls, the booming music coming from inside of the bar, and the honks from the busy street. They ceased to exist and it was just you and him. Feeling each other, completely, fully.
You knew at some point one of you had to pull away, but none of you dared to, it was just pure desire, a hunger that couldn’t be sated.
All the years spent yearning and pining, acting like two fucking idiots.
He wanted to breathe you, drink you in, and he wasn’t intent on letting you go. Ever.
You from five minutes ago who wanted to refuse him, refuse this was an absolute fucking idiot. Gone. You tasted like the sweetest honey and he tasted like everything you wanted and more. It’s even needier than the first kiss, more sure, it’s like a promise.
This is it. Both of you can feel it. This finally changes everything.
final authors note — uhhhh so yeah... if yall wanna talk about that my asks r open LMAO.
#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson series#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson angst#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#getaway car series#getaway car
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making this anonymous because i want to be a sneaky girl… i fear you’ll probably know who i am and if you know pretend u don’t because she’s not me i promise LOLLLL but i liked part 7 a lot i really liked how there was a big emphasis on how they’re doing this because they love each other i thought that was really sweet 😭 i think for me personally i’ve always had this thought of if a man wants to have sex with me he sees me as an object, so i’ve always kinda opposed the whole sexual thoughts thing but while reading dybmn (not to say blah blah fanfic cured me blah blah blah) it helped me realize you can have those thoughts and feeling for someone while simultaneously loving them and that doesn’t make you a bad person, i appreciated how much that showed in part 7.
(ALSO COULD BE TOTALLY WRONG ABT THIS NEXT PART DONT CANCEL ME I KNOW THE DYBMN ARMY ANALYSIS THESE FICS TO PIECES SO IF IM WRONG PLS IM SORRY this is just what i gathered)
what i think made this part different from the rest (besides the loss of virginity thing) is that if i’m not mistaken this was not only readers first time having sex, but spencer’s first time having sex with someone who mutually feels the same way about him COULD BE SOOO WRONG but with the whole elle thing and then him just having a slut era where he hooked up with a bunch of women i just assume he’s never had sex with someone who is in love with him but i’m sorry if i am missing something 😭😭 obviously they did like hand and mouth stuff first but they were both under the impression they either felt differently about each other, or weren’t aware of it yet. so i thought it was really cute how they kept saying i love you because i’m sure having that emotional factor changes sex but what would i know LOLLL it was just special to me💕 anywho im done yappin now, have the most perfect night!!!!
OK OMG IM GONNA TALK ABT THIS UR BRAIN IS SOOOO HUGE
that was one of the most important parts to get across for me. i think porn and smut have really fucked with people’s perceptions of sex and obviously i am contributing to that in my own way but i REALLY wanted to write something where it was so clear that the love came first and was far more important than the sex, but also that they intertwined so much, like the sex was an EXPRESSION of love. and also even though reader has been beggginggg spencer to fuck for like ever, in MY opinion she subconsciously wasn’t actually ready for it until now. she basically wanted to have sex because she was worried abt what other people thought and wanted to appease her insecurities but for both of them, having sex was really about love which is always my attitude towards it as well, i am very anti hookup culture being the dominant way people connect and obviously do what you want but i hate that now it’s the expectation that you aren’t or even shouldn’t get attached to the person you’re sleeping with. so basically this is propaganda and me furthering my own agenda. i don’t think sex has to be “dirty” or warrant guilt at all, it can be something (we’re getting corny🚨🚨) that is JUST for you and your partner, not performative, and done because you truly love each other. like to me that’s so romantic—eliminating all outside influence and being very private bc it’s this one incredibly intimate thing you share only with each other. obviously this will not be everyone’s perspective but i find monogamy and commitment soooo sexy lol like make each other feel special!! that is so cute!! choose each other and share things you wouldn’t share with anyone else!!!! i love it!! sex when u love someone has like nothing to do with our societal perception of sex and it sucks that we’ve like bastardized it so much
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Hi! Saw you jumped on the tim hate train, welcome to the club! Aplarently you're Damian fan, which is good bc hes also one of the characters who's hit by tim's..woobification? Victimization(???) while simultaneously being the bestest, most competent batfam member. You Damian fans honestly have my respect for the pure amount of shit Damian gets because of tim.
hi lmao. Thanks xD. I usually try to keep all my negativity off of the internet, but last night I was going the anti Tim drake tag bc my frustration was flaring up. At first i was collecting posts by liking them instead of rb, then I was replying, and then at some point... “Fuck it. I want this on my blog.”
(This is gonna be a ramble btw, I don’t care abt making a good post rn.)
I used to be fine with Tim! I think the whole thing was a lot less prominent in the dpxdc fandom bc DANNY was the fan favorite/community elected woobie, but then I kinda moved out and... well. It still took awhile for this issue to seep in bc those Tim fans (you know the ones) are certainly a minority, but I just don’t think you can be a Damian fan for longer than a few months without getting frustrated.
Nowadays I refuse to read anything tagged with any variation of “Tim Drake angst” that features the batfam. Timkon fics are usually just fine though.
Actually— recently? Shit’s been bothering me so bad that I don’t wanna risk reading fics that have Tim in the first relationship tag at all. He’s gotta at most be in the second one. Ship fics are again an exception, but I don’t tend to seek out ship fics much anyway.
But, like I said, I usually keep it to myself. Every time i catch myself venting in the tags I either screenshot the tags and delete, or I delete and retype them. I put them into a private notes document. I also journal in there a lot instead of posting it.
That document is pretty long.
I do wanna say that there’s nothing wrong with what tim fans are doing. It is fun to woobify your fave. It’s fun to prop them up and tear others down and make everything about your blorbo and it is harmless. I do it too (usually in my daydreams). It’s a fantasy, and that’s what fanfiction is for. People who act like it’s “problematic” are wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s not annoying. Because it is. It’s annoying as all fuck.
Also wanna mention that I once read a damian fic that like... started off with some delicious whump, but then it turned into a whole Damian pity party and it guilt tripped all his friends and family. Damian IS my blorbo and I couldn’t read that. I didn’t even know who Maps was at the time but it seemed so bizarre to throw her under the bus. Anyway I feel like that’s what a quite large portion of Tim fic is like except a bit less extreme.
I used to tell myself that “ohhh it’s just a rivalry. I’m sure Tim fans get the same shit in reverse all the time” but I literally NEVER see it in the other direction and spend the most of my time in Damian circles. The only time I see tim hate from damian fans is frustration at those particular fans in response to it or in response to favoritism of authors.
I mean i saw a good chunk of it last night, but what else can I expect from the anti tim drake tag?
It’s actually funny how most of the stuff in anti tags is polarized hate shitting on the character with a lot of bad takes, but in tims anti tag it was almost exclusively frustration from Damian and Jason fans, and usually pretty mild takes. Also people calling Tim boring.
Ngl, Idk much about Jason. I’m familiar with his fanon, but the only comic i’ve read that featured him in a major way was Gotham War. I don’t know him well, and I don’t have too much interest in him. However, I hate “Jason falls over in guilt and kisses Tim’s fingers begging for forgiveness” type posts in solidarity. It’s yucky.
Anyway, I didn’t even mean to get on this anti tim train you speak of, It just sorta leaked out of my vent doc. Don’t expect me to keep posting about it.
but also... don’t not expect it. It might happen.
Even so, my dms are absolutely open for Timothy Drake related frustration! I’m pretty tired of being nice to him.
#anti tim drake#ask#i may delete this later#i might also delete all my anti tim posts#i might also continue hating on him#depends on my mood#also lmao idr how much i rbed you but your blog was the source of so many of the anti tim posts
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Rant abt experiences and opinions I've seen as a proshipper.
I'm a proshipper, but I'm not gonna be here and make everyone feel welcome to share their interests with me. It's so weird that some people assume that proshipping comes with some obligatory openess to allow anyone and everyone to feel "safe" near you. Thinking it means that I want them sharing their kinks, tropes, fetishes, pairings, and fics with me, when that's not how that works. No, not wanting to interact with you and your interests, and discouraging sharing with me doesn't make me an anti, it doesn't even put me in anti territory, I can have boundaries and things I dislike and still be proship. I'll fight for your right to like and publish the shit you wanna, but I'm not going to be all buddy buddy with you or protect your feelings by never sharing my opinions and boundaries. Asking what I think about something? I hate it, but if you like it, enjoy it, just leave me alone about it. I can even just say I hate something, and still be pro doing whatever the fuck you want, I'll just avoid it, block it, move on. If that hurts your feelings or makes you feel bad because I just don't like what you like, or even actively dislike it, that's a you problem. You don't need to follow me, you don't need to read my opinions, if you still decide to stick around, then that's on you. Grow a skin, why the fuck is my opinion or stance so important that you gotta claim I'm an anti when I voice my thoughts? That's your problem for expecting proship to mean something it doesn't.
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This acc is becoming an mcu twitter for me but I fucking HATE secretary Ross so fucking much and vision is a dumbass.
Correlation does not mean causation that’s the first thing they teach u in ANY lower division fucking undergrad research class. So wtf was that toaster going on ab with the rise in superheroes and rise in threats like. CorrELATION DUMBASS. You’d have to do years of empirical research to determine causation. Also has any of them heard of critical refugee and border studies???? Reading a SINGLE article from that field would give u the fucking answer. Like come ON. The Sokovia accords shouldn’t even be a fucking debate—it’s a stupid ass idea and the only person I understand besides those who refused to sign is nat’s position of disagreeing but wanting to regain public trust and keep one hand on the wheel. Everyone who wholeheartedly trusted in the accords is fucking wrong. Also I blame Ross for nat’s death. Bc he’s the whole fucking reason thanos won. The scarlet witch should’ve just killed him “so ur saying they’ll come for me” Wanda says but it’s fine baby just kill them it’s ok god I’m so pissed and this is all fake. Also wtf is up w rhodey being like “omg this is the UN” like. No one in any REAL social justice field likes the UN. No one likes human rights studies. Like. They’ve been wrong ab most things and everyone is critical of them FOR A REASON.
Cap’s all like “we failed” after infinity war NO it’s bc everyone scattered yall and u were a DISASSEMBLED team and were very disempowered. These gov officials, the UN, and all these ppl who liked the Sokovia accords, y’all deserve half your loved ones disappearing. You brought this upon your fucking selves now suck it up and deal w the consequences of ur own actions u whiny whores
Edit: oh I did not know there was a whole subsection of mcu fans who r actively anti Sokovia accords and dive deep into what it entailed and how it’s wrong. It seems as tho some ppl in that subsection come from a legal background too which is so cool. Y’all r cool and I’d love to join in on convos w my theory background and comment on how theoretically the accords aren’t for the protection of the ppl and only aim to solidify existing racialized and sexualized nationalist tools such as consolidated military power and borders, which are inherently polysemic and overdetermined in nature (Balibar 2002) are are for those exact reasons that the accords r being drafted and that should honestly be enough to make the general public and world leaders question it in the first place. But anyways. Would love to elaborate one day if let into the fanclub😌
Another edit: im just mad and ranting to the void at this point but y’all who try to argue FOR the Sokovia accords in a legal matter. It straight up DOESNT. MATTER. Bc if u look for even a second at critical social theories, you’d understand that the accords literally cannot work for the people. So you’re arguing for something that strengthens the power of those already in power. Which is fine, but just admit that. Also on the lowest key that’s equivalent to arguing for white heteropatriatchal power. But like. Just admit that. Bc. Again. I repeat, the accords are not FOR THE PEOPLE. Now, we literally don’t know the full content of the accords so there’s only sm we can all say ab the details of it. But as an overall idea, that’s what it does. But if this was a real thing I’d be concerned abt yalls ability to critically think and also that y’all get a say in this country (yikes) ESPECIALLY to that one user I blocked saying that all they needed to see was that cap, a white man, is arrogant, wants to keep his white power, and therefore the accords must be signed, to keep white power in check, then Jesus fuck you’re dumb as hell. Like yes, I had that same initial thought too, but then I THOUGHT AB IT for longer than a SECOND and the same damn thing could be said ab Tony, that his white guilt is clouding his judgement and making him sign. Also non white ppl backed both sides. Like. Use the one brain cell u have for the love of god. Do u rlly think the mcu cares enough to make a racial statement here? And to all Sokovia acc supporters, don’t u think it ended w thanos winning FOR A REASON?! Also. To say “but we need regulation therefore we need the accords” is the same exact thing as saying “we need safety therefore we need cops and the military” like Jesus fuck there r other options. Be creative for a SINGLE SECOND. I hate this world and I hate that I have to share it w ppl who have such smooth brains y’all concern me a LOT
#marvel mcu#sokovia accords#anti Sokovia accords#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#wanda maximommy#wanda maximilf#vision is dumb#Ross is dumb#vision please read theory#Ross is to blame for nat’s death#Ross deserves to rot in the raft and then in hell#everyone except wandanat can die
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Anon bc idk how ppl are gunna take this
I’m fairly certain the reason for jirais getting their accts taken down is bc addy posted a screen cap of a jiraiblr saying they wanted to make a “murdering addy harajuku moodboard” & then a bunch of jirai accts were like “wow I hate her she sucks she should die” etc
all of the accts I’ve seen be deactivated either posted a fuckton of sh stuff or were posting mean stuff abt addy I think people just went through the jiraiblr tags & reported people
Honestly I think you’re safe I think most blogs are safe it’s rly just like if you’re posting pro ed stuff or a bunch of sh stuff or threatening users all of those things are against tumblr TOS, we know this, it’s not shocking when accts get taken down or banned. Back in like 2016 we all made multiple accts for our pro ed spaces bc we were always getting banned and coming back and getting banned like it was just an accepted part of it bc we knew we were breaking the rules.
There isn’t like a “war on jirais” - the community just finally got big enough that the website started to notice we’re breaking TOS.
hmm, i haven't been really active on tumblr for that long so i wouldn't know how things were in 2016. but you seem to have a good point!
but like, addy should've censored the name when posting that screenshot imo. don't get me wrong, i do think that was a fucked up thing to say but... her fanbase is huge and people WILL go out of their way to attack the community as a whole.
but honestly what else do we expect from someone who stubbornly spreads misinformation all the time?
tbh idk what kind of blogs got deleted because i don't think i have been moots with any of them. 😭 but yeahh...i got a little too worried this morning when i found out jirais are being deleted off tumblr. i just hope whoever these mass reporters are, that they leave blogs who aren't anti-recovery alone...
#jirai kei#jiraiblr#jiraiblogging#jirai girl#jirai#landmineblr#landmine girl#landmineblogging#landmine kei
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OMFG A PROSHIPPER !!+! SAME BUT I HAVE TO HIDE MY IDENTITY BC EVERYONE HAS DNI PROSHIP IN BIO LIKE WHY?????
UMMMMM ..... Rant bc it's so rare to find a kindred spirit in this shitty immature ""war""
it fr just means i believe we should ship and let ship??? why is the "i don't judge u for your preferences" thing seen as bad idfk like. it's fucking fiction.
if it's problematic then I don't condone it irl. but I'm human. I have curiosities and shit. Like,, ppl don't listen to true crime bc they condone murder and ppl don't go calling true crime fans murderers. so WHYYYY is shipping any different, in fact it's b e t t e r bc at least fiction. isn't. real.
like why tf is what i ship anyone else's business??? unless it's bc we have smthn in common to bond over, why tf do ppl care abt the ships we don't have in common.
istg ship wars are crazy af and this whole pro- anti- ship shit is just another way to try to control smthn that doesn't need controlling.
it's like U said no one fucking cares abt it irl and the damn DEATH THREATS ppl get over **not giving a damn what other people ship** instead of being the fucking fandom shipper police or smthn is disgusting and i hate that im never allowed to talk abt this w/out ppl hating me and calling me a disgusting monster.
why can't I just do what I fucking want when in my own privacy while not causing any harm???
like ppl are so damn delusionalllllllll!!!!.!.!.!
-> some proshippers just mean they support any and all ships bc fiction is fiction
-> some proshippers ship "problematic" ships and that is FINE because it is NOT REAL and THEY ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE and i meannnnm ppl are curious right. they gonna explore alien concepts some way or another. why tf would ppl stop them from exploring it in a safe. healthy. fictional. harmless. way.
why is it that it's okay to consume problematic content but not okay to ship problematic ships?? literally what is the fucking difference ships are a subgenre of content.
if you think it's okay to be a fan of lotr or american psycho or some shit then it is damn hypocritical to say it isn't okay to ship something problematic. same thing if you think it's okay to stan/simp for a villain character.
it's only even called ~problematic~ bc that's how the relationship would be if it were real. which it isn't. so it isn't fucking problematic bc it's fictional content and the ppl shipping it do not condone the irl versions.
also sidenote,,, why tf are proshippers and multishippers grouped together in the dni stuff?? they are not related. a multishipper just. ships the same character w/ more than just one (1) other character. how is that problematic too?????
okay sorreryyyyyy i just have so many thoughts on this that im never allowed to share pls feel free to let this one collect dust in the inbox. or just straight up delete it lol.
Do not apologise! I love a good rant!
If you want to interact with proshippers more the tags "proshipper", "proshippers pls interact" and "proship positivity" are usually very nice and lots of wonderful people post there!
And you could always make a side account for proship stuff if you want to be able to take a break from the intense pro vs anti stuff if and when it gets too much, whilst still having a place to enjoy that stuff.
Honestly I think a lot of the issue is people seem to take the word "ship" as their ideal relationship. Less so than a dynamic they enjoy in fiction. But I don't know, I can't pretend to understand the mind of antis.
Proshippers and multishippers getting clumped together is probably linked to the idea that a ship is a pairing you want to see canon and shows actually pandering to ship wars lately. Or maybe people are just weird!
Everyone takes shipping way too seriously now and acts like a fictional pairings existence will romanticise the topic and brainwash kids. My general rule is that its for fun, who cares ?
And feel free to rant in my inbox whenever! It's always open to anyone. Glad you could get that off your chest :)
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I know it was abt shipping but that's exactly what drives me crazy with Bkg antis.
Like it wasn't a misinterpretation of something that wasn't explicit or left open ended, they just fucking lie. They lie ALL the goddamn time, and people somehow believe them as long as they are being homophobic.
It's so fucking stupid! It is!!
BkDk was one of the ships I was thinking about when I wrote that post.
BNHA debuted as a manga back in, what, 2014! It is 2023, about to be 2024! Nearly ten years and Bakugou and BkDk antis will still say shit like "they hate each other"!
I don't know about the rest of you, but I wouldn't be holding onto a card I got with someone when we were kids for years.
I damn sure wouldn't be calling someone a cutesy nickname with a genuine smile on my face if I hated that person.
They're making up shit now at this point! They want to be homophobic without outright saying "I'm homophobic".
I feel like any anti who still goes around saying "they hate each other" and "Bakugou and Midoriya aren't gay" and among other things is a bored homophobe who has nothing better to do.
It's not even just with Midoriya and Bakugou I get agitated about, I also feel this way about Uraraka and other characters.
I really hate seeing the "timeskip" posts where the poster will say something like "I can't wait for the end of the series to see Uraraka be Midoriya’s wife and have his baby"!
Um... why reduce her to just be a wife and a mom? I would have been okay with "I can't wait to see them be heroes together".
See the difference?
Like, let's not forget that Uraraka also wants to be... hell, she is a hero! Let's not take that vital piece of her and throw it it away!
You can ship them without reducing the female character, it is so easy.
#kiya answers#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bakudeku#bkdk#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki
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so, idk if i should do this for my two of my friends bc my parents dont approve of me doing it for others.....so i kinda need advice on what imma bouta do for em it's about disabilities and the ph government i cant post this anywhere else but tumblr .com so
tw one mention of hospitals n overdosing
slightly long post but i need sound advice 😭😭😭😭
↓
so disabled people here have this pwd card thing, however they are very restrictive and pedantic about the application and SLOW AS FUCK for the processing. only recently (last month i think) did they approve of mental disabilities as a disability. the card is difficult to get. two of my friends are neurodivergent and one of them has depression, however their families aren't that...well, receptive about it.
it's not my first time falsifying documents so im thinking:
i replicate my doctor's prescribing pad and ‘prescribe’ them medicines as proof of their illness, ive been prescribed a ton of different medicines so it's quite easy to make combinations hshhssh, i also need to falsify a certificate vouching and verufying that they do have an illness. it's fucked up bc they are ill andidk why they need so many verification steps to give the benefits i fucking hate this governmnt why do disabled people need to prove shit multiple times but yeah im not actually falsifying because their illness and disability is real and the government is a fucking asshole abt it so let's use create and not falsify as a verb uwu
i can also create an admission slip for them by replicating and just modifying my own slip from the time i overdosed (twice hshsh) as proof that theyve been hospitalized due to their mental illness bc just the presc. pad may not be enough, so for good measure yep.
i can just accompany them or give them a script of what to say when they get interviewed.
ive falsified vaccination cards for my oarents bc theyre anti vaxxers and i coyldnt fucking get them to ge the vaccine (gurl they are gonna drive me insane) and it worked, ive also falsified an id for myself saying im 21 during the pandemic too bc only people olderthan 21 can run errands and minors werent allowed to go out accoding to our local gov. and i was elected president during my 1st yr bc i made effetive excuse letters that our dean didnt question (mfs (my classmates) said i was doing gods work for em theyre lucky i love em) and ive recently copied someone's signature to get an spa (special power of attorney) andlied to our social security system (went okay hshwhhs) so WHY CANT I DO IT FOR MY FRIENDS IF I CAN DO IT FOR MY FAMILY FUCK GATEKEEPING THIS IS ABOUT DISABLED PEOPLE NOT GETING THEIR RIGHTFUL BENEFITS THIS IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE I ALSO CARE ABOUT
but yeah it's not easy, but to me it's only proper they ge their benefits like i did.
(also cheated mine bc like i said they only considered mental health recently so i went and falsified that i have really reaaly horrible eyesight and bribed my optometrist AHSHSHHWHSSH)
so should i go ahead with this and override my parent's permission bc i am still a lil scared of my mom this could cause a big fight but like...i love these ppl, i want them to have a slightly better life man hshhhahsshsh
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i really dont want my team to go to utah (puke!) and the nhl sucks big balls for all of this, but also i just wanted to say we shouldn’t just be mad at them or even primarily mad at them because the ownership is sooooo the problem with arizona and has been for like ever, and the nhl really wants things to work in arizona, like they are already talking about how expansion would work to come back, so like i dont think its that they dont want us to be fans because they would have jumped ship instead of playing in mullet for so long. hope this doesnt seem like im defending the league because i hate them but i just wanted to point out that like the nhl has done way more than they ever have for other orgs because they want this tv market and stuff so bad, so yeah. its still fuck utah and fuck the league but its more about gate revenue and wanting the utah jazz guy to be in the ownership group because they (the other owners etc) hate arizona’s owner because he costs them money and stuff, like it’s not an anti diversity conspiracy as much as its a profit based move for arizona’s ownership (getting rewarded for bad decisions) and the league (profit sharing and an owner they like better to be in their little club) which is still very bad and wrong but i dont want anyone to be surprised when they try this again because now they think the people of arizona(’s dollars) aren’t desirable to the league anymore
no youre right say that! i do think it's a way more multifaceted issue around business and management and money than most people (even me!! i made that post based purely off my gut feelings of ickiness abt the initial announcements and didn't expect it to get traction at all lol) are making it out to be, and a case where a lot of things are true at once yknow? it was clear that arizona was big gaz's little pet project that he wouldn't let die but at the end of the day all anyone in the league cares about is money so this is what we get.... thank you for offering a more nuanced take on it!!!
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Should I block the French Guy?
This mf has the audacity to pretend to agree that AI “art” is wrong, then STILL is using AI to generate images of his ocs. I posted the quote of Araki condemning AI “art” and this fucking guy has the audacity to like it, even tho I had him in mind while posting it.
I was like “yk, I havent seen this guy’s story in a while because it’s 100% hateful, maybe I should check to see if he still does.” The most recent one I could find was from September 8th in a highlight abt ocs, but that’s not to say he hasn’t used it since and just didn’t save it to highlight. Make of that what you will, but I choose to believe he’s still using AI. I remember once I even had a convo telling him to stop using AI, but bro just went “ok” and still used AI BRUH🗿
But guess what else I saw: he likes Jimmy 😭😭😭 this was 100% expected tho. He once changed his pfp to Curly and i was like “your ass is NOT Curly ur Jimmy bro.” He posted 3 whole stories abt the community judging ppl that like Jimmy. He compared it to how ppl like DIO and said its bc he has pretty privilege and not Jimmy and thats why ppl judge them. I won’t lie; yes, most ppl like DIO bc hes pretty and charming, but at least he has some types of redeeming qualities. Jimmy is just 100% asshole. Every scene you see of him is he’s being a jerk or a fuck up that says “i can fix this” but actually can’t. Mouthwashing is SO un-nuanced in the way you’re supposed to hate Jimmy, it’s amazing rlly. We’re not even shown much of his personal life or other aspects of his personality; unlike other antagonists like Kira or Diavolo.
Now, am I gonna throw rocks at your window for liking Jimmy? No. Do what you want. But, i will psychoanalyze you and conclude that you like him either for the abusive dynamic or you like him bc he’s like you. This guy 110% likes Jimmy bc he’s relatable.
Simply looking at it face value right now, the way this guy is so OBSESSED with other people is insane. 90% of my conversations w this guy has been bruja arianna, snerufu, antis, women who make self insert ocs, or his arch nemesis Fay that he just can’t stop stalking. It reminds me of how Jimmy was obsessed and jealous of Curly’s success. He is also negative all the time. Even when making a joke, the punchline is always someone else or a cheap horny joke that comes across as a 7th grader. It reminds me of how Jimmy HAD to take Curly saying “i want more in life” the wrong way. It even manifests in the way bro had Curly as his pfp; because he wants to be like Curly.
We met from me shitting on bruja arianna. My criticism came from logic and a want to make change in the community, but it’s clear now that his criticism comes from hate and insecurity. He’s so passionate about hate, i think it’s the only thing he’s passionate about. He’s not even passionate enough about his own ocs to draw them himself. He’s so hateful he makes fun of women in the fandom for damn near anything they do, as if millions of ppl don’t also see him as a woman and as if he never lived as a woman. Then he hides all of his edginess as “im French lol we’re just angry :p” be so serious
His only other characteristic is being hypocritical. This guy “doesn’t deserve hate” but is constantly negative all the time. This guys gets upset at shit on a screen just to search it up more. This guy HATES bruja arianna for mocking trans men, yet all his male ocs are “androgynous” no mf they look like girls.
Chat, I don’t care anymore about being stalked. I’m stronger now. I have better things to worry about now that I have a life. I don’t care if he talks a lot of shit nor do I care if he “exposes” me for some made up bs. He can have a tantrum all he wants; i have better things to care about
Poll whether I should block him under the cut.
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txt: soobin catching strays for *checks notes* watching an anime..
tldr: a pann article(?) was starting shit abt an anime soobin mentioned on a live from MONTHS AGO. the anime (made in abyss) has some disturbing/horror/gore themes. he said he thought it was boring and was hesitant to recomend it to moas in the live. but in another live he had with seungkwan, he said he watched it because woozi mentioned it and then said he recommended it to sk. moas started making it a real issue, saying "if u defend him for this block me" & implying he endorsed the themes in the anime. sigh..
when ur in a meat eating competition and ur opponents are soobin antis who call themselves moas😱😱😱😱😱 yall are annoying as fuck all shade.. leave him ALONE abeg
tonight soobins name is trending on twt dot com for something other than the seunghan live or pannchoa making shit up about him😓 apparently (because i couldnt find it) a REAL kr pann article, not flopchoa, was made resurfacing an old live of him talking about animes he's watched. one of them was made in abyss, a psychological horror anime that is meant to be disturbing.
in this live he says that its not something he wants to recommend to moas because of the themes in it. after the clip started making rounds on twt however, people brought up the fact that he'd mentioned it before and said he enjoyed it.
now lets not jump to conclusions like SOME lewsers and realize here that the anime version of made in abyss that's available in korea is highly censored. it reduced the s3xual/problematic scenes that were in the manga, and had a lot of stuff cut out of it that made it bad.
but even if this wasnt the case, its so silly to suggest that u endorse every piece of media u watch☠️ are u a vehicle if i watch cars 2?? are u a murderer if u watch true crime?? are u gay if u watch heartstopper? well yes but lets please use some critical thinking here friends
the first two screenshots from his live alone should be the end of this discussion because thats obviously how he really feels. but noooo user28247943 on twt.com always has to create some thinkpiece for other no brain having ass kpop stans to like and rt and make blockchains abt.. exhibit a:
like what the hell r these people yapping about. me when im trying SOOOO HARD im PISSING and CRAPPING MYSELF to make this grown man from south korea who has no idea i am look like a bad person☠️
yeonternet was the person who started all this bs tho. idk if theyre the one who brought the pann article to twt but their tweets abt it are so braindead lord.. this person had over 1k follows trying to police what an adult man watches & saying it makes her uncomfortable that he does.. girl dont watch what he watches then?? and after shitting out that steaming load of crap shawty deactivated without clarification cause she couldnt take the heat ! ikdr never come back
++apparently the author of made in abyss admitted that they used the show to portray their s3xual fantasies abt children but even hardcore watchers of the show didnt know that like..
also when he initially said all this in the live the response was fawking normal as it should be..
bc it isnt just gore and horror and nasty scenes, it has worldbuilding elements, characters, plot, etc that people enjoy it for. its rated highly and its so fucking ridiculous that people were genuinely throwing around the word PEDO for stupid shit like this. when actual pedos show up yall wont even be able to recognize them through the serious justice warrior twitter brainrot thats spreading rn..
but the bottom line here is that its pretty clear people are trying to start a smear campaign on soobin. the pann article itself was just nasty akgaes and antis adding onto the hate train hes been getting since the sh live thing. and it's just so nasty and horrible to see self proclaimed moas jumping on that the first chance they got like damn bitch ur just a LOSER who never liked sb in the first place. need all of these mfs ran off the app immediately like its concerning to see how many of them have large followings
uarmyeonjun went priv but she had almost 2.5K FOLLOWS before those twts. genuinely be careful who u call oomf like these people are real hybrids all it takes is an alt/priv and a dream for a normal person to turn into a complete FREAK ASS😓 hell is real and its called moaville
a story in 3 parts:
maybe 4
1.3k follows are we not SCARED?
here’s a link to a thread of the clowns in HD ! point and laugh❤️
https://x.com/beomjzns/status/1726102040848527854?s=61
anyways stay safe in these streets trust nobody stay strapped at all times. kpoptwt gets uglier everyday bye
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Why are you mutuals with a racist transphobic person who's only argument to their beliefs is sexual assault ? I hate to break it to you but if someone's only way to argue on a topic is to harass them, they have no argument and they are in fact in the wrong.
Ok bet I know who your talking about, astro right?
1. How are they racist? The only and ONLY thing I know abt when they brought up race was talking sbt a rcta person (3therian and if you fucking like them block this fucking blog asap) and that's it making fun of them bc rcta ARENT FUCKING VALID!!! if u have more go ahead inform me.
2. Transphobic? How? Genuinely how?? Im so confused on this one like explain it??
3. Sexual harassment arguments. Now I don't agree with sexual harassment stuff ok? I don't like them but also licking someone isn't sexual harassment and that's mostly what he does is threaten to lick you and yes I know he's done more but it's mostly licking and that's not sexual harassment again that's just weird ok?? I dint agree with the real sexual harassment stuff ok? But besides this he DOES make good points on anti endo stuff ok?? He does if you go read it ok?
Now if you want to say this do it un-anonymously bc i would take you way more seriously ok, now I can't force you to do it ok I'm just saying j want to see the blog I'm talking to but if you don't wanna cool ok?
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Sephiroth, for that ask thing
Sexuality Headcanon:
Gay in the way that any person they would enter a relationship with would be a queer relationship, that's just how they work
Gender Headcanon:
biology wise I have Seph always as intersex in some regard and genderwise it depends on how much thought he's spared himself--overall I think he's nonbinary in the most overarching definition and if given the chance to exist outside shinra he would gravitate towards femininity and eventually land on only feminine pronouns for herself! as it stands canonically i think she transcends gender in the corrupted ascenion to godhood seph has, but overall has left the aspect of his gender unassessed
A ship I have with said character:
tsengseph! genseph! I like smashing the obvious yin and yang counterparts together and also the red guy with the almost-sort-of-blue guy
One day I'll answer this on a more eloquent level HAHA
A BROTP I have with said character:
aeriseph but I do also ship them sometimes--i just cannot get over the thematic resonance of the child of the calamity and a child victim of the calamity essentially unionizing. This would be peak full circle, cue the cycle breaking, cue the chrysalis to butterfly, all that jazz
A NOTP I have with said character:
angealseph/sephgeal-- i personally find angeal unbearable. he really annoys the fuck out of me im sorry angeal fans but he's not my man... I think that his hardheadedness/stubbornness in his idea of honour would grate on sephiroth, but the reason sephiroth likes him is because of his care otherwise. It's just not something I can see sephiroth pursuing romantically though Lol so in that vein I also don't really like AGS or any angeal ot3 😔
A random headcanon:
niche weirdest hc i have is the eyeball nipple ALSO applies to seph, he has that eyeball nipple guys.
Less insane hc is that he is a sugar fiend, desserts are his favourite food and his drinks could all be classified as syrup. also despite not being the biggest fan of citrus he really really likes yuzu! I tend to flit between him being vegetarian and not as well, mostly because he would be tripping over himself to try new things because he's excited over the prospects of new sensory stimulas that isnt, say, Pain in a new flavour
General Opinion over said character:
WAAAAUUUGH! i love this blorbo. I wish he had a chance to live and not die everything he was always going to be. It was really self fufilling and in the end he died as what Hojo wanted of him--never breaking free, dying under the abuse, becoming the abuse that made him. Fucking kills me! I want a world where he breaks the cycle, where he becomes the future. That's a reason I love the transformative aspect of fandom here, I couldn't love ff7 the way I do without all the AU's, there is just far too much here to mess with, to reshape.
Totally tangentially, but I don't agree with people speaking of him being irredeemable or deserving of punishment, these are fundamentally reductive ideas and don't even line with the politics of ff7 itself LOL Atonement and redemption does not mean everyone suddenly forgives and forgets, but it does mean everyone is afforded another chance. Everyone is deserving of that. Even people who've committed heinous acts, because foundationally they're still people. It all depends on whether or not they double down on their damage and believe in it till the end, if they're apathetic and even jubilant at their violence. If he came back uncaring, apathetic, and fundamentally unchanged from the blind bitter hate filled attitude he had before, then yes he is unredeemable because he is refusing it. But were he to acknowledge the wrongs and try to right them, try to move on and apologize then yes he could work for atonement. Sorry for the random anti-punishment rant LOL I've just been thinking abt this for a while, check out philosophytubes video on capital punishment (its on youtube!) for further challenges on this idea :D
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