#i found all of them myself except the yellow butterfly which i got when i was a little kid

[sparklev0id]

presenting my epic awesome (and ever growing) bug collection bc i figure y'all would appreciate them as much as i do >:3

[lavynrose]

- a oneshot for artem wing when he finally mustered up courage to ask out their s/o to hang out as friends (theme parks or just garden strolls, you can pick which type of place you want i won't mind!) to confess to them and when he confesses their s/o confesses at the same time too? and the s/o is kinda shy and awkward with him so he gets surprised and all flustered with them confessing at the same time?

(ackk this has been stuck in my head for a while, sorry if there are any grammar mistakes since english isn't my first language! i hope u have a great day!! :D <3)

- coomkie anon ♡

Artem Wing and his s/o confessing at the same time pt. 1

Title: Dedicated

Pairing/s: Artem Wing X Reader

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Genre: Fluff

Warning/s: Grammatical errors probably

Notes: blushy artem is best artem, and we have celestine being the best wingwoman again

enjoy an amusement park date with Artem <3

Artem Wing is a dedicated man.

If it had been any other person, they would be home right now.

but not him.

Even now, as the looming hours of the night began to tick, he sits at his swivel chair, busied with the love of his life called paperwork.

"Aren't you overworking yourself?" He looked up from his papers to see Celestine waltzing inside his office with documents in hand.

The question should've made him stop and think to at least consider getting rest, but no, we're talking about Artem the workaholic here.

He has heard Celestine's question directed at him for the past few days, and from different people at that.

"Overworking means I have more time to double-check these documents," Artem said as he reached out for the folder that Celestine brought over, "Don't you think it's pretty convenient?"

"Artem," She started with concern in her blue-green eyes, "I know you're trying to distract yourself."

Artem was silent for a few moments before coughing, "Whatever do you mean? There's nothing I have to distract myself from." He said with complete calmness in his voice that he could even fool himself.

"You don't have to hide it, you know? I see the way you look at them," She smiled as she recalled the lingering stares and soft smiles setting display into Artem's face when he's around his colleague "The way you act around Y/N." she added with a hint of teasing.

The mention of your name seemed to short-circuit Artem's brain, Celestine took advantage of this with delight.

"Also... They've been getting friendly and close with that new employee.." She puts her hands on her chin, thinking.

Earlier today, she caught Artem's looks of distraught while his eyes were on you and the new guy. You were having a friendly conversation.

Too friendly.

After that, The youngest senior attorney even requested you to work with him at his desk, claiming that he, quote "needs to keep close tabs on the files that Y/N is handling." end quote.

but Celestine knew better.

Jealous is the only word that can describe how Artem was acting. She decided she will push his buttons tonight.

"Aren't you... threatened?" She beamed at him, waiting for his reaction.

"..."

"They've been on your mind lately, I reckon."

"..."

"They're getting closer with each other, don't you think?"

"..."

Hopeless. Celestine thought.

To say that she's frustrated with this whole situation surrounding the two of you is an understatement. Everyone in your circle clearly sees it - you and Artem like each other.

In the way he bought cake for the whole office that one afternoon the day after an episode of an office drama aired, or in the way that he went out of his way to take care of you in the hospital when you overworked yourself to sickness, or in the way you blushed around each other, the lingering touches, oh the lingering touches. It was all obvious.

The both of you spend your time together more than anyone else, everyone thinks your blooming affections were inevitable at this point. Solving controversial cases meant having the mental and emotional intimacy to get to know each other better compared to your average professional relationship.

You don't see each other as "working partners" anymore, it's clear that you guys want each other as a different kind of partner.

It was known to everyone except for the two of you, apparantly.

Celestine sighed before rummaging through the magazine shelf in the office, grinning when she found what she's looking for.

Artem shot her a look of suspicion. He has a bad feeling about this.

"There." She said with satisfaction before dropping the magazine into his desk.

The magazine lays there, with an eye-catching font and colorful cover page, Artem blushes as his eyes read, 100 cute date ideas...

Judging from the cover, the magazine might actually be useful when giving date suggestions. Under the big font however, there was a smaller text that read, Your significant other is waiting!

What is this...

"I'm sorry but I have work to finish." He tried his best to unsee what he just saw, and decided to turn his focus on the headache of workload in front of him instead.

Celestine raised her eyebrows at him with a frown, "Don't be stubborn now, I'm your boss, I'm giving you both a day-off tomorrow. I mean, you haven't used your day-off at all ever since you started working here. So please. " Her voice is laced with concern.

He looked away with a sentimental look in his eyes, "You don't have to do this for me. I'm fine with... Giving them affection without them realizing it."

Celestine just frowns deeper.

"Come on now Artem, doesn't it sound tempting to you?" She clasped her hands and continued a little too excitedly like a schoolgirl in love, "Having alone time with Y/N, finally asking them out on the date so the other guys threatening your future can back off."

It does sound tempting, Artem admits.

He looked away with reddened cheeks, "I'll think about it."

He doesn't need to look at Celestine to know she's sporting a big grin right now.

Later that night on his bed, his mind keeps flashing images of you. You, wearing a big, warm smile on your face. You, with your little mannerisms that he came to memorize from hours of being with you. Every little thing, every moment, as long as it's with you, he cherishes it.

Oops. The butterflies are starting.

He didn't mind.

You looked stunning today, but then again, he finds you stunning everyday.

When was I this cheesy? He thought to himself.

His thoughts kept racing with reveries about you when a new image interrupted every nice thought.

It was of you and the new employee laughing together.

He frowned and his stomach churns.

"Are they interested in each other?" He finds himself asking the wind. His mind was reeling.

He thinks about the time when he first heard you say that you were married to your work. Surely, you aren't interested in being in a relationship with some guy, right?

Right?

Groaning, he then realized that he needs to make a move now before it's too late.

To him, you're the loveliest person he's ever met, your kindness, your welcoming smile, the passion that you present when you're in the court, the way you always remain headstrong no matter how many people clash with you and try to break your principles.

The only one that occupies his heart, you.

Artem is sure he won't regret giving you his feelings, and eventually, reveal them.

He got up from his bed and sent a glare at the magazine that is now resting on the lamp table beside his bed, mocking him. He picked it up with less hesitation than before.

'What should I choose?' Artem asked himself before flipping the pages, a faint blush adorning his cheeks.

This is a big step for him, and he wants to make sure that he's going to do it right.

7:00am

You rubbed your eyes and stretched your limbs as the sunlight permeated through your bedroom window, the yellow glow giving you a peaceful feeling, a new day is about to start.

A new day without work at that.

You had been ecstatic when Celestine called you to inform you last night of your long awaited day-off, you smiled at the memory as you stand up to brush your teeth.

"You deserve it for all your hardwork!" Even through the phone, you heard the smile in her voice.

Soon, your thoughts drifted to a certain raven-haired man.

'How about Artem? I'm his assistant, does he get a day-off too?' You wondered as you finished washing your mouth, finally heading off to the kitchen to prepare for breakfast.

You were about to choose what to eat from the fridge when you hear a song play from your phone in your room.

You hurriedly went back as you recognized that ringtone - that ringtone you had set for a particular contact.

There on the screen, displays the name of the object of your affections.

Mr. Wing.

'Why is he calling this early? What could he possibly need?' you thought to yourself before pressing the green button.

"Good morning Artem, what is it?" you didn't even try to hide the happiness from your voice, Artem calling you this early doesn't happen often, after all.

"Good morning. Do you have plans for today?" His morning voice echoed through your ears. It was husky and rough, filling all of your senses.

Realizing that he just woke up, you can't help but blush at the thought of being the first person to talk to him today.

He thought of you first thing in the morning!

You tried to control the lingering heat in your face as you replied, "Uhm, yes uhh- none. I have no plans for today, Artem. I'll be thinking of what to do though. Why did you ask? " You hoped he didn't mind the sttuttering mess presented to him this early in the morning.

You wondered if there's an emergency case needed to be taken care of, he rarely ever calls outside of work.

Then again, you're always at work.

"That's good," the other line was silent for a bit. As your anticipation for his reply grew, he finally said, "A new amusement park is going be opened today. I heard they'll be having a fireworks display tonight to celebrate the opening."

You've heard about the said amusement park from your coworkers yesterday, you even heard that it was a project from PAX.

Marius' wealth truly knows no bounds, you thought.

Kiki even invited you to come with her this sunday, as it's the only freetime the both of you had before Celestine's sudden news of a day-off.

Is Artem coming there today? He doesn't seem like the type to go to amusement parks, but now you know that he likes them, or at least he didn't mind going, you added this info to your list of things about Artem that make you fall in love with him more and more. Because let's be honest, what's there not to like about the man?

He's handsome, sweet, a good cook, a senior attorney you can look up to, and he always makes sure to reassure you that you're doing well, that he's proud of you.

He cleared his throat, breaking you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to go there..." He paused, his nerves getting the better of him, unbeknownst to you, "With me? I have two tickets, and I wanted to invite a close friend. Is that alright with you? "

What?

'Is he asking me out on a date!?' you were practically screaming internally as you paced frantically in your room.

No. No way. This isn't a date. Not until he says so.

He said 'close friend' so you shouldn't overthink this. You were partners, after all!

At least you try to convince yourself.

"Of course Artem. I'm glad you invited me, I'm really happy." You weren't lying, his invite was the most unexpected thing that happened to you this week.

He hummed, "I'm happy, too. I'll be there at 2:30pm to fetch you, they'll open around 3pm. " He said in a gentle voice before hanging up.

You pumped your fist in the air. You have plenty of time to prepare.

2:30pm

Among all of the outfits that you could've worn today, you decided to wear a cute, beige, knitted sweater. A pair of faded ripped jeans, white sneakers, and a beanie to top it all off.

The amusement park being your destination, you decided to wear casual clothing since you'd be hopping on rides left and right.

You wouldn't want to wear a skirt just for it to blow on the wind while you're in the air, screaming for dear life.

Nope. You definitely don't want that.

You're now waiting outside your apartment after Artem sent you a text 5 minutes ago that he's on his way.

Your head is plagued with expectations on how this friendly date is going to go. You've never felt as giddy as this before.

It's understandable, right? The person you like asked you out to go with him to an amusement park - using his morning voice, nonetheless, so it wouldn't be strange for you to think that this is like an actual date.

You bonked yourself mentally.

You keep reminding yourself that it's just a friendly date. It's just a friendly date. You believe in the power of your mind, it's a friendly date. He even said so himself.

Artem's going to think you're weird. It's not like you're going to hold hands or anything...

Yet, you didn't even try to stop the daydream clouding your mind.

While you were busy indulging yourself in your fantasies, your eyes caught a familiar spot of black in the parking lot. Artem's car!

That's your cue. When his car stopped, you made your way over to him with a small smile on your face.

His black car opened, spilling out Artem clad in his casual clothing.

You scanned his appearance, taking in those breath-taking, familiar eyes. Taking in the beige, knitted sweater he's wearing, paired with slacks and black shoes.

Wait.

You did a double take- beige, knitted sweater?

You looked at his clothes, then looked down at your own, then back at his again.

Red and warmth crept up to your cheeks as realization hits you.

You kind of looked like a couple.

"What's wrong?" Artem inquired with concern as he stepped closer and reached out his hands to your flustered form.

He even placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature.

Yes, you think you have a fever.

It's only when he got to take a good look at you when realization hits him the way it hit you.

He retreated his hand and looked away, face as warm as yours.

"Uhh..."

"..."

Why are you acting like a highschooler!? You're better than this, getting flustered just because you wore identical clothes.

With the person you like, you added.

The both of you stayed silent for a few seconds before you spoke up with a grin, thankful that the pink that dusted your cheeks is now cooling down a bit, "We should get going now."

You expected the ride to be as awkward as earlier, but to your relief, that wasn't the case at all.

Artem played the radio on your drive to the amusement park, and even asked you about how you're feeling lately and whatnot.

Honestly, with how he's always so concerned about your well-being, you're doomed to fall even harder.

"What are your favorite rides, Artem?" You decided to talk about something connected to where you're going to go.

"Hmm," as he hummed, you looked in front of the car to see the gates of the amusement park came into view. You can even see the familiar structure of a rollercoaster and a really grand ferris wheel turning slowly.

Majestic.

Is the motif for this amusement park golden!? The railings are shimmering with gold, some parts of the rides are adorned with gold, wherever you look, gold!

PAX outdid themselves with this one, definitely took "shining, shimmering, splendid" to a whole new level. Too much for the word grandeur, you think.

You can't even imagine how wide the place must be. You haven't even stepped foot inside, yet your eyes were oogling as some more rides were seen from outside the gates.

"We're here Artem! Look!" From your side, Artem turns to take a look from the road to the park, his eyes screaming nothing but amusement.

"It's beautiful," He breathed while you nodded furiously with agreement. He shot you a look, "I'm glad I get to spend my first time here with you." The softness is his eyes is blinding as you stared at him and processed his words.

"Me too..." you managed to choke out, turning away to hide your blush.

While you were taming your flushed cheeks, Artem had parked the car already.

He opened the doors for the both of you as he offered you his arm. Confusion takes over your features.

"So you wouldn't get lost, it's a big crowd out here, " He tilted his head to have a better look at your still sitting form inside the car, "Let's go?" He said with that gentle smile, as comforting as ever.

You stood up and linked your arm with his and suggested, "How about the bumpy car first?" excitement was evident in your voice.

He shook his head and chuckled, "Whatever you wish." He said as he locked the car doors with a click. You both headed to check in and do the formalities first. After all that, with a skip to your step, you pulled Artem to the bumpy car's ticket booth, and went inside.

You're elated.

"I can't believe the Artem Wing, the youngest senior attorney, is losing to me!" You sound hysterical as you bumped Artem's car with yours over and over, your bumpy car dominating his.

This is fun! Just minutes earlier, the atmosphere between you and Artem seemed a little tight because of the matching clothing incident. Just a little. However, the laughter of everyone playing in this space is infectious, it leaves you in a really good and playful mood.

It makes you feel like you were a kid again. You hope Artem feels the same.

Before playing, you made a bet with him earlier that whoever bumps the other the most, wins.

"Y/N. I think this car is defective." He said with a frown, his eyebrows furrowing as his hands tinker whatever there was in the steering wheel.

You looked over to him and replied, "We can switch cars, let me see." The two of you switched from each other's bumpy ride and you assessed the supposedly 'broken' car.

You realized he didn't push the right buttons to ride the bumper properly.

"Artem..." You looked at him blankly and said, "Have you ever been to bumpy cars before?"

He was silent before replying with darting eyes, "No, I haven't," He cleared his throat, "I have only been to the ferris wheel and escape rooms, I haven't been to bumpy rides before. Sorry."

You beamed at him.

"Don't be sorry!" You flail your arms to disagree, "There's nothing wrong with that. I'm actually happy that you allowed me to drag you here despite you not having played it before." You flashed him a thankful smile.

He looked a little surprised at first, but then that warm smile of his came back, "Thank you." You stared at each other's eyes for a few beats in time, his ocean eyes containing a sparkle you rarely see them hold. It looks so gentle, so welcoming.

So fond.

You stared at each other for a while, his deep eyes were enough to drown out the crowd. To drown out everything that existed but him.

Blinking, you snapped out of it to teach him how to drive the car.

The cars were booster types, different from the old models wherein you just turn the wheels and you'll be good. In this specific model, commands are needed to be performed in order for the car to execute it's special feature.

"You turn it like this..." Artem is a fast-learner, so the both you were back on track as soon as you guided him the directions.

In the end, you were tied, the bumper time limit resulting the draw.

"I'm definitely beating you next time!" you declared with a smug look, hands on your waist.

After the bumper, a receptionist from what seemed like a family raft ride made his way to invite the two of you.

"You guys look like you're having fun!" He then pointed at the paper he's holding and said with persuasion, "You're going to have even more fun here! The family raft ride is the only free ride we're offering in the park for it's first day, be sure not to miss out on this special bonus!" He then turned his heel to find more costumers.

You blinked, "Too bad we don't have extra clothes..." You hung your head low and you sighed as your mind thinks of a different ride to enjoy.

"Well, he did say it's a special bonus," Artem pondered, "They sell clothes here anyway, and there are restrooms we can change on," you wondered if this is going the way you think it's going, "I can see no harm in trying this free ride." He finished with the corners of his lips turned upwards.

Your eyes sparkled with so much joy that he's glad he suggested this.

"Then what are we waiting for!?" You squeal and jump from where you stand and Artem could only shake his head at you with an adoring look in his ocean eyes.

You both headed to the line of people waiting to get their tickets for the raft.

"That's a long line..." You're already mentally tired as you stared at the single file of people in front of you.

"There's still plenty of time before the fireworks at 7pm, I can go and buy us ice cream. Do you want some? "

You're face fell, remembering you were on a diet, "I appreciate the offer, but no thanks, I'm on a diet." An ice cream sounds really tempting right now, but you must resist.

"I heard they sell low-fat ice cream in here. How about that?" He proposed as his eyes glinted with satisfaction.

He knew this would do you in, sure enough, you gave him the biggest grin you could muster.

"You're the best, Artem! Any flavor is fine, by the way. " You beamed as he turned his heel to the ice cream stall, you just stared at his back the whole time he was away.

A minute later, the man wearing a cozy beige sweater that matches yours turned around and went over to you, two chocolate chip ice cream in hand. You reached out to take your ice cream, your fingers brushing.

You ignored the tingling feeling and the chills. He looked away.

While eating, you talked about how the line for the rollercoaster was two times longer than the raft's even though it's literally free.

"I believe they added a new feature to the coaster." Artem reasoned.

"You bet. The rides' golden theme is already impressive enough," You eyed the unbelievably long line from the coaster's ticket booth, "We can go back here some time to see that feature for ourselves." your face heated as you realized the implications in your words.

His eyes widened for a single moment and then looked at you with such intensity you can't bring yourself to look away, "I'd love that." a gentle look worms it's way in his features once again.

Comfortable silence dawns on your own, little world while you both busied yourselves in your ice cream.

The two of you were thrilled as it was your turn to ride the raft, ice cream long gone, replaced by the life-vest in your hands.

"Ah," you sighed, fumbling with the vest a little longer than you should have.

Artem, of course, noticed your movements. He was kind enough to help you adjust the vest.

Of course.

"Come here." He said as his arms finds it's way to your waist, pulling you towards his stature. His hot breath hitting your face while he circled his arms around you to wrap the vest securely.

This is not good for your heart...

He's so close, you could kiss him if you wanted...

He pulled away, his warmth lingering still.

Even when the both of you sat down on the raft. The ride is going to start in a few and here you are, lost in the feeling of Artem being near you.

"Y/N," You abruptly turned your head to him when he suddenly called you, "are you nervous?"

You blushed so hard you wanted to evaporate with the water, 'Yes. You make me nervous.' you're tempted to respond.

"Yes, but don't worry about me." was your reply instead, and you smiled awkwardly and stared at his blue eyes, blue eyes laced with concern.

He leaned closer, probably so that the other people within your raft wouldn't hear, "I care about you and I want you to feel as comfortable as possible," he whispered in your ear, sending chills to your spine.

This is definitely not comfortable, Mr. Wing.

Your heart is doing flips, this isn't normal!

"Please tell me if you need something." The gentleness in his voice took your breath away the way it did as the first time.

The fact that he's unaware of his effect on you angered you so much. You scanned his face for signs of teasing. Smirk, maybe a playful glint, anything.

Yet you found none.

The raft began to move, a perfect timing to change the subject!

You leaned on him, but not too close, and whispered, "It's starting."

Water began to splash, as the raft moved with the current.

The track was smooth at first, you getting small splashes here and there.

Until a bumpy track decided to present itself.

Like before, the raft went with the flow of the water, except that it bounced and rotated harshly that one particular splash of water was enough to wet you and your clothes completely.

"OH MY G-" you exclaimed when the raft hit a rough spot again, soaking everyone wet.

You were making a surprised pikachu face as the water seeped into your clothes.

You turned to look at Artem to see his state and you suppressed a giggle with how he's making the same face as you did earlier.

Never in your life you thought you'd see Artem with the surprised pikachu face.

You took pride in knowing that you're one of the very few people who gets to see this side of him.

"Artem!" you shouted through the noisy stream of water. "We look silly!" you laughed as the water rocked everyone in the raft as harsh as it possibly can. Round and round, back and forth.

"We do!" his laughed mingled with yours even when the water relentlessly kept soaking your already wet bodies.

You smiled once again, gazing at his form with profound fondness longer than just a friend would've done.

6:00pm

"That was really fun!" You shouted to the air while Artem scooted beside you, offering his arm like he did earlier, which you eagerly took.

The both of you went for another round on the raft after the first round, not caring about the long waiting line. The ride was worth it!

All you ever did was scream and laugh at each other's state, but it was the most enjoyment you've ever had in years.

You were completely dry now, changed into fresh clothes that were sold as the park's merchandise.

Even with the change of clothes, the clothes you were wearing right now still matched Artem's.

You weren't complaining.

The crowd continues to enjoy themselves, all while the sunset was making everything in the theme park look like a fairytale.

"Yes, it was. I enjoyed it very much." Artem flashed a smile so genuine, you wanted to see this sight a thousand times more. The orange glow of the sunset gives his raven hair a golden shade, light reflecting on his blue eyes, making him look so bewitching. So you carved it to your memory, not knowing how to elicit that same image from him once again.

Looking up at him, and looking back at the things that happened today, you realized something.

You couldn't take this silent pining anymore, you wanted to tell him how precious his smile is to you, to tell him you're glad he's spending his time with you, to tell him to make more memories with you.

To tell him he's the reason of the warmth flooding your whole being right now.

'I'm in love with you' is what you first thought of saying. No matter how cliche that may be, you wanted to let him know, that you're in love with him.

"Uhh, Artem, I-" You were about to spill your feelings then and there when a voice boomed the speakers of the park.

"Everyone! One hour more to go for the fireworks! Please look forward to it!"

Your confession's gonna have to wait for later.

part 2 here

do not repost © lavynrose 08/15/21.

[a-simp-20]

Ok, either Kuina teaching Chishiya how to roller skate or Chishiya teaching Kuina how to roller skate 💖

Roller skating Besties [Pre-borderland AU]

[AIB Masterlist]

Characters: Chishiya Shuntaro,Kuina Hikari, Takeru Danma, Aguni Morizono, Arisu Ryohei (briefly,he's there! Just wait~)

Summary: Chishiya is at his college,studying medical health care and other med student things,Kuina came to visit him and asked him if they could hang out together.

Warning!: none

Genre: Fluff,Crack. just two besties roller skating :3

Word count: 2.1K

Tag's: @niragis-right-hand-rabbit hope you like it girl!

I'm sorry this took so long!, I had to write other fics and the request on my wattpad account 😖

It's a normal day in medical school,Chishiya is at his college's lab studying on things with the other people who are in the same class as him. This time their learning about how to: Cut open a person's chest/stomach for surgeries only 101-.

I'm serious "Now beneath this white sheet,there is a dummy that you need to cut open with this small knife here..but we're not in to that step yet,the first step is to..get use to the smell of someone's corpse...without your medical masks on" His professor said,as he take's out his hand to all of them,signaling to hand their masks over to him. Everyone reached into their pockets and took out their masks,handing them over to the professor.

"Everyone ready?" The professor asked,everyone shook their head confidently while Chishiya just smirks. The professor took off the white sheet that was covering the dummy now not covering it.The smell of a corpse was fresh coming from the dummy,everyone puked and some of them holding their breath and passing out as Chishiya closes his eyes calmly as he inhaled the scent of the corpse,smirking like the Cheshire he is "Everyone failed...except for you Chishiya,you passed..now cut it open" His professor said smirking back at him "Gladly professor~" He said,as he grabbed the knife and went to the dummy.

He stood right next to it "Where do you want me to cut it open professor?" He asked,looking at his professor "The most scent able part...the stomach" His professor replied. Chishiya nodding as he brought his left hand up to the dummy's chest as his right hand cuts open the stomach of it, the scent of the dummy's stomach now filling the air, everyone once again puked and passed out in the floor and holding their breath,Chishiya? No he inhaled the scent again "Good job Chishiya!, I'm very proud that ONE of my students will TRULY become a doctor" His professor said,mentioning to the other students who failed.

[TIMES SKIP]

It is now lunch time,Chishiya sitting in the cafeteria alone eating his vegetables...specifically peas. He got out his phone,seeing a bunch of text messages from Arisu and four from Kuina. He read through the text's that were from Arisu. Arisu was talking about a medical game that he just brought that included doctor's injecting some needles into zombies to cure them back into human, Chishiya just chuckled and went into Kuina's messages.

[QUEEN-Na]

QUEEN-Na: Hey! Hey Chishiya!,ya still in school?

QUEEN-Na: guess you are. So I was hoping maybe we could go like hang out together??,Oh! Maybe we could go to a cat Cafe.

QUEEN-Na: and after we go to the cat Cafe...wait for ittt.....WE'RE GOING ROLLER SKATING BESTIE!

Doctor Cheshire: after I finish my peas we'll go.

QUEEN-Na: HECK YEAH!,I knew it you could agree!

Doctor Cheshire: yes yes now I want to enjoy peas,thank you very much.

After the chat ended Chishiya continued to chew on his peas,while looking at the window that was beside his table where he ate..he then realized...he didn't know how to skate-.

He just shrugs the thought off of his mind as he continues to eat his peas.

[AFTER MED SCHOOL]

Chishiya waited for Kuina outside his college. Kuina told him that she's going to pick him up with her car, so he waited with his hand's inside the pockets of his white jacket that the zipper was loose and revealed his black and white striped shirt,he wore black jeans and a backpack that had cat ears on them...that was given by Kuina of course for his birthday. He heard a honk of a car. He looks up to see the girl inside the car on the right driver's seat, Chishiya smirks as he walked towards her car and got in the passenger seat that is right next to her "Welcome aboard Doctor Cheshire" Kuina said smiling at him starting the car "Thank you for welcoming me..Miss Sexy butterfly girl" Chishiya said as he turned on the radio to hear some music.

Kuina began to drive "So what did you learn this time?" "Why do you want to know?,are you my mom now?" He asked,looking at her by the corner of his eyes "As if!, she's a cruel Bish! You don't deserve to be forced to do anything ya know?"

Kuina said,keeping her eyes on the road "Yeah..we're going to the cat cafe first right?" He asked her. Kuina just smiles and nods "Yup! After that we're roller skating" She said with a wide grin on her face now. Chishiya just lay's his head back into his chair as he closed his eyes.

They both finally made it to the Cat Cafe. Kuina shaking Chishiya's body lightly "We're here doc" She said sarcastically "I can see that clearly sexy butterfly" He said, looking at the Cat Cafe through the passenger's seat window "Well,time to get out!" She said,getting out of her car. Chishiya following her as they both got into the Cat Cafe to be greeted by so many cats "Look at all these little cuties!" Kuina squealed, as she grabbed a yellow munchkin cat "Look how teensy his leggies are!!" She said, holding the cat up to Chishiya's face "Are you mocking me?" Chishiya asked "Mocking?, how am I mocking you! Look at him!!! He's so cute!!!" She chirps again.

They both finally found a place to sit and ordered their food and drinks "So Chishi, do you know how to skate?" Kuina asked him while petting the yellow munchkin cat that's on her lap "Well..for someone like me that is likely to have a GOOD childhood...no" He said stroking a cat that was laying right next to him,showing it's belly demanding belly rubs which Chishiya did do.

The cat meows and purred at his touch "True,true..Oh! Maybe I could teach you how to!?" Kuina said excitedly "Sure..i would love to" Chishiya said, as the waiter put their two puddings on the table and one iced coffee for kuina. Chishiya got himself a black coffee which he is now sipping calmly while still stroking the cat beside him.

They chatted for awhile. Saying about how their doing and how work is going for Kuina and how college was going for Chishiya "Everyone didn't like the smell of the dummy..me? I liked it. I felt really at ease when I inhaled the scent of the fake corpse-" "Now you're making me want barf.. But at least it sound cool" Kuina said cutting Chishiya's sentence while sipping at her iced coffee "How is work at the shop going for you?" "Well,customer's come by and go. Buy some clothes ask if there any available size's for it, they buy it and leave" Kuina explains, swaying her spoon while explaining "Like always then?"Chishiya asked and she nods.

After the chat, they played rock papers scissors to see who would pay for their meal. Apparently, Kuina won and Chishiya lost, but Chishiya didn't care because he is wealth of money thanks to his dad. They both got out of the Cafe and went inside Kuina's car again "Next stop!, the mall!" Kuina said starting the car "So the roller skating rink is at the mall?" Chishiya asked "Yup!, I can't find any that was close in this city and your college,only the mall" She said while driving"That sucks...i hate the mall" Chishiya replies "Why?, because you don't like people surrounding you while you're walking?" Kuina asked "More like I don't like places that are crowded by..peasants.." Chishiya continues as he had a Cheshire like smirk on his face "That's the same thing but in Chishiya language" Kuina said while chuckling.

They both made it at the mall. Kuina parks her car and gets out,Chishiya following. They got into the big building "I haven't seen the mall since...last month" Chishiya said, while looking at the ceiling of the mall "What!?,you haven't gone to the mall that much before...never mind I just remembered on what you said in the car" She said. Both of them spend their time keeping each other company, both of them walking side by side. They didn't go straight to the roller skating rink no, they stopped at a hat shop that was in the mall, checking out some of the cool hats in the shop "These are some hats" Kuina said, grabbing a top hat and putting it on Chishiya's head "You look good with a top hat Chishiya" Kuina comments "Thank you..and yes I do love top hats. I really want one ever since when I was kid..my father won't let me have on cause-" "Let's not talk about that old man of yours right now, we're here in a hat shop. You live alone in an elegant apartment by yourself, you could buy the top hat if you want to!" "And the young woman is correct!" Someone said after Kuina finished her sentence "Allow me to introduce Myself, I'm Danma Takeru..also known as Hatter and the owner of this fine shop you may say" Hatter said, grinning widely "Nice hat you got there Mister Hatter" Kuina said, pointing at his hat "Why thank you!, my father gave it to me" He replies with a smile.

The shops bell rings, revealing a tall buff man with no hair. He looks like a tired dad "Ah! Mori Chan!, welcome" Hatter greets the man "This my friend, is Aguni Morizono. He's my best friend!" Hatter explains with a grin. Chishiya and Kuina nodding "So what brings the both of you here at the mall?" Aguni asked "We're here to roller skate!,and I'm teaching this kid how to do it properly" Kuina said, mentioning to Chishiya "Well that sounds fun!, maybe we could join in? It's okay if you don't want us to be there" "Sure..as long as you don't get too close to me" Chishiya finally spoke "Great!, what do you think Aguni? Would you like to?" Aguni nods "Sure" He said.

After that the four of them said their good bye's, Hatter and Aguni said that they will catch up when their both done taking care of the shop "Those two were nice" Kuina smiles as she looks down at Chishiya that was still wearing the top hat on his head, Hatter gave it to him�� for free. Hatter heard Chishiya's story of life and felt horrible so he decided to just give the natural blonde headed cat a gift, which was the Top hat that he likes so much.

"Ah!, and here we are!" Kuina said. Chishiya looking up to see a sign that had roller skates on it "Let's go in" Kuina said, as she opens the door "After you" Kuina mentioning to the open door for Chishiya to enter. Chishiya did enter and Kuina did the same.

The room inside was filled with neon lights and...peasants Chishiya say's. Everyone was on the rink, laughing and having fun "Doesn't this look great?" Kuina looking down at Chishiya that had a disgusted look on his face "Look at all of these peasants" Chishiya say's pointing at one of them "C'mon now, don't get your Cat attitude out!, let's go" Kuina grabbed Chishiya's hand and dragged him to the main counter.

They both got in the locker room to pick out their roller skates that were their foot size "Chishiya!,look at this one!" Kuina said excitedly. Chishiya looks at her and saw that she's holding two pair of roller skates that is black and had cat faces all over it "Huh..interesting" Chishiya said, while grabbing the roller skates that Kuina held "I knew it you would like them" Kuina grins as she grabbed a pair of blue roller skates that had white and yellow and pink flowers on them. They both put on their roller skates as they walked to the rink.

Kuina holding Chishiya's hand, guiding him to the rink. They both stepped in, Chishiya wobbling a bit "Keep your balance, it's okay. I told you I'll teach you right?" Kuina grabbed Chishiya's hand as she started to move. She let's go Chishiya's hand,leaving Chishiya at his will "okay, the first thing you have to do is walking. Just like normal" Chishiya took Kuina's advice and started taking little steps "Like this?" "Yes!, keep going...aaaand stop. Okay the next step is to balance yourself, don't panic and stay completely calm" Chishiya stayed still, balancing himself "Good! Just like that, now push your upper body to the front while lifting up your right feet and dragging it" Chishiya then did exactly that...and he did it "I- I can't believe I'm roller skating" He said, skating across the rink until he fell on his butt. Kuina trying so badly to hold her laughter as she went towards him to help him get up to his feet.

Chishiya grabbing his top hat and cleaned the dust out of it as he put's it on top of his head again "I hate this." Chishiya mumbles as he stood up again "Oh come on!, you just fell like..once" Kuina crossing her arms, looking down at the short blonde figure that was wearing a top head "Fine..i'll try again" He grumbles, Kuina smiling widely while cheering "Heck yeah!" She said as they both continued skating.

The end-

[Meanwhile Hatter and Aguni]

The two men are now skating happily together with happy faces "Isn't this fun Mori?" Hatter said, smiling at his friend that is skating behind him "Quiet so" "Oh come on!, I don't see a smile on your face" Hatter said pointing at Aguni's emotionless face "No..i am happy..this is my happy face" He said "Well whatever you say" After that Hatter didn't looked where he was going and bumped into a ln angry Chishiya.

The end~

[honesthammie]

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 13 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: very very brief mentions of death

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 13: Lesser Celandine Means ‘Joys to Come’

The nine-year-old bounded out before Alex and Thomas through the botanical garden. They had been living together for about three years already and life was treating them right.

Both still worked for Washington, they still argued about small stuff – which they claimed were discussions in good faith and their friends called bickering like a married couple – and Philip was doing well in school.

They had fallen into a routine together that the versions of themselves from five years ago could have never pictured. As much as they started as jagged edges running along each other, they now found themselves puzzle pieces fitting together.

It was early May and one of the first few beautiful days of the month after a lot of rain, so the three had decided to go to the botanical garden nearby.

However, Alex didn’t know that Thomas and Philip were in on a plot together, a plot to do with a little box in Thomas’s pocket.

Philip pointed at a cactus and yelled: “Look, it got spikes!”

“I can see that, kiddo,” Thomas called out to him, “Can it flower?”

After reading the little sign for a moment, Philip pouted and yelled back: “No.”

“That’s a pity,” Thomas said, then called out: “This one here had beautiful peach colored flowers, if you want to see.”

“That’s not peach,” Alex butted in.

“Yes, it is,” Thomas retorted.

“No, it’s obviously orange.”

“What do you think orange looks like?” Thomas sounded more distressed than anything.

If Alex looked again, he could see that it was indeed peach and the lighting had made it appear more orange than it actually was, but now he had taken a stance. So, he said: “Kind of like that, though I will give you that it’s light orange.”

“Peach is pastel orange, you know that right?” Thomas said.

“So, then I’m right and it’s orange,” Alex shrugged.

“No, because there are many shades of orange and this particular one is peach,” Thomas sounded frustrated.

“I don’t know, Tom,” Alex made a great show of observing the peach colored flower, “If I look at it now, it looks more like apricot.”

“Peach is the lighter and pastel version apricot,” Thomas exclaimed, “The difference is literally super small, but I know my colors and this is lighter than apricot, okay. It’s peach.”

Alex grinned at him and the realization dawned, Thomas tiredly stated: “You’re just doing this to fuck with me.”

“You know me so well,” Alex smirked.

From between them, Philip spoke up: “I think it looks pretty.”

“It does,” Alex agreed, before reading the signs and saying: “Oeh, there’s a butterfly greenhouse, we should go.”

Thomas took Philip’s hand and offered Alex his arm: “Lead the way, darlin’.”

In the butterfly greenhouse they marveled at the butterflies fluttering around. Alex looked mostly up, but Thomas and Philip made sure to read each sign, since they had agreed on a certainflower for it to happen.

When they walked past a particular patch of flowers, Thomas got distracted by Alex, who gasped when a butterfly landed on his face. He grinned at Thomas, who snapped a picture. Then Philip elbowed him in the side and pointed at a sign.

They found it.

Philip quietly retreated to the background with the camera, while Thomas squatted and pretended to read the little sign.

He hummed and read: “Lesser Celandine, or Ficaria verna. Classified as a noxious weed, since it flowers before much of the native fauna, establishing dominance over native species.”

Alex stopped looking up and inspected the small yellow flowers. He hummed: “Interesting, what made that flower catch you eye?”

“Well,” Thomas said, here it was, “I happen to know their meaning.”

“Is that so?” Alex asked, suspicion creeping into his voice.

“Yes, they mean ‘joys to come’,” Thomas shifted and reached into his pocket, “And I was wondering if you would want to explore all of the joys in the world with me.”

Gasping Alex looked at him with wide eyes, completely speechless.

“We’ve been through so much together,” Thomas went on, “You gave me so much more than I’d ever thought I’d have. So, Alexander, will you marry me?”

Alex didn’t care that he looked like the ultimate gay stereotype as he fanned his hands in excitement, tears in his eyes as he nodded and chocked out: “Yes!”

Thomas grinned and took out the ring to slip on Alex’s finger. Philip ran up behind him, camera still in hand as he threw his arms around Thomas’s neck, still at the perfect height from where he was knelt and babbled: “You said yes, right, Papa? You and Da are getting married!”

“I did, Pip,” Alex grinned, admiring the simple band with purple stone, “And I suppose you were in on it, little rascal.”

“Of course,” Philip smiled toothily as Thomas stood up, lifting Philip in a piggy back, “Da had to ask someone for your hand.”

“You asked Pip for permission?” Alex laughed.

Thomas shrugged: “Seemed the best option. I felt like he should get a say.”

“And I knew who he could trust,” Philip added.

“Oh yeah?” Alex asked, amused.

“Hm-hm,” Philip nodded.

“Yeah,” Thomas agreed, “It was smart to not involve Laf in this, just Eliza.”

“Dork,” Alex rolled his eyes, but he knew Eliza still had his ring size from when he and her went to find rings for his wedding to John.

“But I’m your dork,” Thomas informed him, “And you’ve just agreed to that being permanent, so I feel like that’s more on you than on me.”

“You’re insufferable,” was Alex’s reply, but they all saw he couldn't stop smiling.

“I know,” Thomas agreed, putting Philip down.

Alex pulled him into a kiss, while Pip made slight gagging noises that they both ignored. When they pulled apart, Alex whispered against his lips: “This was perfect, you’re perfect. Thank you.”

“Charmer.”

“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone!” Alex gushed. He had been the one to ask John, so he never got the excitement of sharing, just the stress of asking. The novelty of this new feeling, making him even more excited about it.

Thomas smiled at him, love filled eyes. Alex didn’t even know how beautiful he looked right now, basked in sunlight with butterflies fluttering around him as his eyes sparkled and his smile tried to break his face in two.

He kissed him.

“What was that for?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Who’s the charmer now?” Alex teased.

“Da, Da, did you show him your ring?” Philip tugged on Thomas’s hand.

“I hope you don’t mind that I got myself one, I just had an idea,” Thomas shrugged, when he saw Alex’s quirked brow.

“I helped pick!” Philip told him proudly.

“Really?”

“Jup,” Thomas confirmed as he showed him the ring. It was identical to Alex’s, except that the stone was green instead of purple. Thomas said: “You know, those few years ago, I thought it was kind of obvious that we wouldn’t like each other, because purple and green are on other sides of the color spectrum, but I had forgotten how well they go together.”

“Only you’d judge people based on their color pallet,” Alex rolled his eyes, but his voice betrayed how touched he was.

“Do you like them?” Philip asked, eyes shining.

“I love them, Pip,” Alex ruffled his hair.

Thomas offered him his arm and that way Alex could look at his own hand, resting on Thomas’s arm with the ring reflecting the light. As they walked through the rest of the garden, Alex missed most of the flowers by being distracted.

That evening they invited their friends for drinks, when they were all sitting around Eliza spoke up, she had been the one involved, so she knew why this was happening: “So, Alex, any reason for the sudden get together?”

Alex grinned at her: “Well, Betsy, there is actually.”

“Is that so?” Eliza smirked.

“Jup, I got some jewelry today,” Alex told her, holding up his hand to show off the ring.

It was quiet for a second, then everyone seemed to make the connection and there was a wall of noise as everyone congratulated them, asked them how or when, as well as demanded to see the rings.

As Laf held their hands to see and compare the rings, he cried: “These are beautiful, but why wasn’t I told.”

“To be fair, I did think about it, but I was warned against it,” Thomas told him.

“Why!” Laf pouted.

“Because you nearly told John, by bursting out in tears when you saw him,” Eliza cut in, “I had to tell him your pet bird back in France died and he looked like him.”

“Oh, so that’s why he gave me a drawing of a bird,” Laf nodded, then moved on, “Anyway, I have grown, I would have been the perfect wingman in this.”

“I think Philip did a great job,” Thomas disagreed, “Right, kiddo?”

“Yeah, I got it on camera,” Philip said proudly, inviting a new round of chaos as everyone demanded to see.

“Ahw, ‘Lexi, you cried,” Angelica cooed, teasingly.

“I didn’t,” Alex huffed.

Herc looked at the video again and said: “Well, man, it kinda looks like you did.”

“Give me that,” Alex studied it, “No, maybe there was a bit of moist happening, but I feel like that’s more all the pollen in the air. We were in a big garden after all.”

“First of, using moist and grossing everyone out isn’t working,” Peggy said, “Second of, you fucking cried, just admit it.”

“I will agree to teary eyed, but no more,” Alex told her.

“Alright, Mr. Teary Eyed Little Baby Man,” Peggy rolled her eyes.

“Now that’s just plain rude,” Alex pouted.

“No,” James said, from where he had gotten a hold of the recording, “that’s truth, I can see it clearly here in this frame.”

“Gimme,” Lafayette snatched it and snapped a picture of it, “We need to start collecting pictures to show at the wedding.”

“Oh no, you’re all going to be terrible,” Alex whined.

“No, we’re going to be helpful,” Laf corrected.

“I somehow doubt that,” Thomas sided with Alex.

In the end they did have to come back on that. Their friends were absolute champions when it came to wedding planning. Though Thomas and Alex mostly made decisions themselves, the others were all there to give second opinions or double check for them.

They had decided on a late spring/ early summer wedding, so it would take a little less than a year, before they actually got married, but wedding planning took time and Alex took great joy in the word fiance.

Thomas did too, he just didn’t want to admit it.

That summer they arrived in Monticello – as had become tradition – however, instead of the usual greetings, they were met with: “Show us the rings.”

“No, hello, how are you, long time no see, what have you been up to. Of course not, why would they ask about us instead of some shiny pieces of metal,” Thomas grumbled playfully as he and Alex were practically passed around by the family.

Alex just grinned and let them, still amazed by the family he had accumulated.

Thomas had been right back then when he had told Alex that with Ma and Mary on their side everyone was bound to like him too, but Alex had still been nervous each time he met one of Thomas’s siblings. A fear he could now hardly imagine with how comfortable he had gotten in his family, a family he would soon be officially part of.

When he got to Ma, she pulled him into a hug: “I’m so happy for the two of you, son.”

And Alex couldn't do anything, but hug back and say: “Me too, Ma, me too.”

The months came and went and soon they were sending out the wedding invitations out. It was plain white paper, with on the back the date and place as well as the instruction to come dressed in white. While the front bore a poem written in cursive:

let us live like flowers

wild and beautiful

and drenched in sun

e.e.

When the day was there, Alex was stressing in the back of the church, while Thomas was waiting in the front. Alex had offered him the position of walking down the aisle, but Thomas had declined claiming it was too much pressure and that he at least knew what to expect if he got to stand.

Thomas was wearing a beautiful tailored magenta suit made by Hercules as he nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot.

The doors at the back of the church opened and first came the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. All decked out in beautiful white with accents in the colors of the bouquet, as well as flowers in their hair.

It began with Eliza and Maria, after them came James and Angelica, Lafayette and Peggy, Randy and Mary with Herc again roped into the position of flower boy, though he was helped by Kitty and Francie.

Once James, Angie, Laf, Randy and Mary had taken their places behind Thomas and Eliza, Maria Herc and Peggy on Alex’s side, the theme for Alex to walk started to play.

He was given away by Jane, who wore an elegant white 50s style dress, while Alex wore a tightly tailored emerald green suit. His hair was braided with flowers in it matching his bouquet of cluster musk rose, Christmas rose, heliotrope and hawthorn.

From the round window the sun illuminated him and Thomas’s breath caught when he saw him walk. There might have been tears, but that was a whole other thing.

Jane gave his hand to Thomas and smiled at him, before going to take her place in the audience with Kitty and Francie and the rest of the Jefferson clan.

Everyone sat and Washington appeared by Alex and Thomas’s side, ready to ordain them. Before he started Philip came down the aisle carrying the rings. He was dressed in an adorable light blue suit and his hair was tied back with a ribbon in the same color.

After he had given the rings to Washington, he stood next to Alex.

Alex had wanted to make him his best man, but since the best man had to sign as witness and Philip was too small for that, he was the ring bearer and Eliza would sign for Alex and James for Thomas, just like both had done before.

Washington started: “We’re here today to witness the union between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. Before this is officiated, they will say theirvows.”

“Thomas, when I first saw you I thought you were incredibly handsome and a gigantic asshole. One of my assessments has been proven entirely incorrect. You are one of the most kindhearted souls, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting,” Alex began.

He went on: “To me you are laughter over dinner, jokes in the hallways at works, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold like an anchor. You are sparkling eyes with crinkles that paint happiness on your features and a mouth that runs as smart as mine.”

“You know how to argue, but also when to let go,” Alex said, “You keep me on my toes, while knowing I sometimes just need to stand. I claim your arguments are shit and while that can be true, they always make me think and I love that.”

“The way you care for Philip and never asked for more than I could give, made my heart grow so fond of you that I cannot possibly picture a life wherein I do not love you,” he told him, “When I come home and see you there, I feel like I am whole.”

“According to Eliza I can’t force everyone to sit through the hundred pages I had written – even though it’s my wedding – which is rude, so I’ll try to wrap it up,” at that Thomas laughed, he could picture the scenario clearly.

“So, Thomas, you are all the little things that make life great,” Alex said, “No matter what, I want to support you and care for you, because I love you so much that it would hurt if it didn’t feel so right. I love you.”

Both were crying a bit and Alex chocked on the last three words as his hands shook while trying to put the ring on Thomas’s finger.

“Darlin’, you came into my life like a forest fire,” Thomas began, “You burned through all my arguments and notions of the world, like that was what you were meant to do. For a long time I thought you were out of control, but you proved me wrong once again.”

“You see, you’re not a forest fire,” he told Alex, “You’re a bonfire, a hearth in the heart of the home, a central place for family to gather. You make sure to keep the ones you care about warm, to illuminate them and pull them out of the darkness.”

He went on: “I always thought you talked too much, but I now know that for all your words, you know how to listen. Your smile can do as much as your words and you know how far a hug can go. The way you can be so intensely caring for the people you love is breathtaking.”

“I wanted to compare you to a thousand other things, but nothing could fully describe your beauty both within and out, which is incredibly corny, yet completely true,” he chuckled, “Anyway, this is my long winded way of telling you that I love you too.”

Now it was Thomas’s turn to struggle with the ring through the tears while behind them Washington began to speak again: “Alexander Hamilton, do you take Thomas Jefferson to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,‘till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And Thomas Jefferson, do you take Alexander Hamilton to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish‘till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Then you may now kiss the groom.”

Neither hesitated to kiss the other lovingly, while beside them the church burst out in cheers and applause.

After they broke apart, they waved at everyone as they walked out of the church, with Philip between them.

Outside they took pictures with everyone, since everyone who had come was decked out in white, the three spots of color stood out all the more.

The time came to do one with the entire family, Alex cried again as both his friends and Thomas’s relatives gathered around them. When he had gotten to America he was all alone and then he had lost part of his family again, but now he was surrounded by almost more people than he could count.

They also took one where Thomas carried Alex bridal style, something Alex and John – being around the same height – had both failed at when they had tried at their wedding. Before Thomas could do it, Alex asked with apprehension: “Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve done this before, it’ll be fine,” Thomas smiled reassuringly, before literally sweeping Alex off his feet. He informed Alex of that fact and got an annoyed look in return, which was beautifully captured and framed by Angelica for on their desks at work.

The Schuyler sister insisted on taking one with Alex, because he was practically their brother anyways.

They took one with the Washingtons and Jane, a picture in which Alex had never felt so short in his entire life.

Herc and Laf, roped Randy and James into taking a picture where they carried the two groomsmen on their shoulders, something that most definitely went almost wrong on multiple occasions.

However, Alex’s favorite picture was the one where he and Thomas held Philip between them and both kissed a cheek, while Philip beamed.

Later he would hang that picture on the mantle between the other two wedding pictures, finally filling the promise that had been in the empty space.

But for now they went to the wedding venue for the reception.

When they were greeting all the guests at the reception, Burr congratulated themwith Theodosia at his side, little Theo had already disappeared with Philip, Kitty and Francie. He shook Alex’s hand: “Congratulations to both of you.”

“What a nice change to see you both here, you were even at the ceremony,” Alex grinned as he also shook Theodosia’s hand. Her smiling and congratulating them both.

“You’re never letting that go, aren’t you?” Burr sighed tiredly.

“Never,” Alex confirmed, “Good to have you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Burr waved as they disappeared into the crowd.

“What’s the story there?” Thomas asked, leaning in.

“I’ll tell you later,” Alex whispered back, before smiling and greeting the next guests.

Once everyone was there Alex and Thomas got to cut the cake. They had both agreed that neither of them would push cake into the other’s face, which meant that both ended up with cake in their face, naturally.

They mingled until dinner, when it was time for everyone’s speeches.

Thomas’s siblings all had rewritten a song from Thomas’s youth to fit the two of them and preformed it badly, but with a lot of love.

“I don’t know them,” Thomas whispered to Alex when they did that, making Alex laugh.

Jane retold embarrassing childhood from Thomas’s youth while Herc and Peggy had put together a PowerPoint of all Alex’s lowest points college and after.

Highlights included him standing on a table in a bar, tie around his head with a group surrounding him from that time he had attempted a revolution.

There was a picture of him surrounded by empty coffee cups, while he was passed out between them, face covered with sharpie.

Him with a cat on his lap, while he looked very displeased. Herc and Peggy took great joy in explaining why the cat had put that look on Alex’s face.

And it ended with the frozen frame of Alex crying – still claiming misty eyed, Pegs – while Thomas proposed to him, obviously they’d had help from Lafayette, but the Frenchman had an entire speech for them, mostly existing out of ‘I told you so’s.’

Washington had a short heartfelt speech about seeing them grow at work together as well as a few army stories about Alex.

Then Angelica stood up to give a speech: “I have to admit that when Thomas fell onto my couch over fouryears ago proclaiming that he couldn't flirt, I could not have predicted that we would be here now. Naturally I rooted for them, but you have to know that Thomas and Alex could be like water and oil at work, or maybe oil and fire would be a better description.”

A few chuckles from colleagues were heard.

“But here we are and I have seen how much you two have grown together,” Angelica went on, “Did I have to bribe and threaten you both to get that information? Maybe, but I did get to know everything.”

Thomas and Alex laughed at that.

“I remember the little humble beginnings, the tentative flirting, the first dates, the panic, the good times,” Angelica said, “And I knew you both for many years before that, I have seen you both happy and sad. And I am not the poetic one here, but I know what love looks like in your eyes and I can see it on both of your faces.”

She raised her glass: “To the grooms.”

The room echoed.

“From you friend, who is always by your side,” she went on, “To your union.”

“To your union.”

“And the family you have build,” she finished, “May you always be content and satisfied.”

She gave them both a kiss on the cheek and ignored they were all crying before she went back to her seat and Philip got to the front.

With Eliza as hypewoman, he walked in the Schuyler sister’s footsteps with a poem he had written and preformed as a rap:

“My name is Philip, I am poet

I wrote this poem just to show it

And I, can speech fine

You can find family, but you can’t find mine!

I practice French and play kite with my father

I have a Papa, and he’s a great fellow robber

My daddies tying the knot on this day, swank

Un, duex, trois, quatre, cinq!”

Everyone cheered and cooed as he ran into Alex’s arms afterwards and made himself at home on their laps as Eliza said a few words: “Alex is the speech writer between us both while I tell him it can’t be too long, so do not expect essays.”

There were chuckles around the room and Alex rolled his eyes, knowing she added that because she knew he would call her out in his vows, which she had proof read for him many times.

“But I did want to say that you’re a fighter,” she looked at Alex, “You always have been and I can see how much you’ve met your match in Thomas. I’m happy for you both.”

Alex hugged her closely and whispered: “God fucking dammit, Betsy, you’re not allowed to make me cry again on my wedding.”

She whispered back: “Like you weren’t already crying, you big baby.”

“Plausible deniability,” he sniffed.

“We’re filming it,” she smirked, before hugging Thomas as well and patting Philip on his head as she went back to her spot next to Maria.

Lastly, James got up to speak: “I am not a man of many words, so I’m keeping it short,” Thomas smirked and nodded at that, “All the times you annoyed me, Thomas, about what to do, have been worth it to see you so happy again.”

Now it was Thomas’s time to get emotional, hugging James tightly and saying: “I knew you cared,” attempting to tease and obviously failing.

“I know, a shocker,” James pretended it had worked.

After that dinner was served and everyone appreciated the dishes set out. While they ate, the whole room was alight with chatter as people talked, laughed and enjoyed themselves.

When the time came to dance, Thomas lead Alex to the tune of Hozier’s Like Real People Do. It was slightly haunting, but they had picked it, because it fit them so well. The song told the story about the singer recognizing the sadness in his lovers eyes and making them forget, focusing on the now.

As they spun, Thomas looked into Alex’s eyes with that crinkled smile and Alex nearly melted into the floor as he faltered as step.

He unknowingly retaliated, when Thomas picked him up and he beamed down. His braid had loosened slightly and a pluck of hair framed his face, while the lights gave him a halo, causing Thomas to nearly drop him.

Since there wasn’t really a father-daughter dance, Alex danced with Martha Washington, while Thomas danced with Jane. And after that, the two of them danced with Philip, the three of them laughing as they attempted it.

Throughout the night Alex danced with all the Schuyler sisters, Lafayette and Herc, while Thomas was whisked away by his own sister as well as Angelica and Lafayette.

At some point Jane took Alex’s hand and made him dance with her. Once they were on the floor, Alex smiled: “Hey, Ma, enjoying the wedding so far?”

“Immensely, sweetheart,” Jane smiled, patting his cheek, before he spun her.

“You’re an amazing dancer,” he commented.

“I’m spry for my age.”

“What age? You look not a day over thirty,” he grinned.

“Charmer,” she smiled, then said, “But I wanted to properly welcome you to the family. You’ve been a part for a long time, but still, today is a big day.”

She stopped dancing and reached into her purse. Out of it she got an old time watch with a leather arm band. As she handed it to Alex, she said: “When Thomas came out as pan to me, I prepared a wedding gift for all genders, just in case. Martha got my grandmother’s necklace, but this was my late husbands watch.”

“I- I don’t know what to say,” Alex stared at it with big eyes, he’d never had a family item.

“Maybe a thank you,” Jane grinned.

“Yeah, of course, thank you so much,” Alex hugged her, and repeated,“Thank you so much, Ma.”

She patted her cheek when he let go and said: “No problem, you’re one of us now and we don’t let go easily.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Alex smiled.

They parted ways again when the song was over and Thomas appeared at his side: “What was that about?”

Alex showed his wrist: “She gave me this.”

Thomas looked at it, then smiled sadly: “I remember that. It suits you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Thomas told him, “I also know that Lafayette and Herc are about to do what they’re calling a classic college trick at the chocolate fountain and I need you to either stop them if it’s bad or help them.”

“Oh, definitely helping,” Alex remembered this one, “Grab your phone and film it. We’ll get them back if they ever get married.”

After an eventful night with enough tomfoolery that they were probably permanently banned to ever rent a venue from that company again, they returned home.

Thomas carried Philip to bed, while Alex put away their wedding gifts. When he was done, he joined Thomas’s in Philip’s threshold.

“He’s still so young,” Thomas commented, “But he looks like when I first met him when he sleeps.”

“That’s already so long ago,” Alex hugged Thomas’s arm, leaning heavily on the other man.

“It seems crazy,” Thomas agreed.

Alex hummed, then they stood there in silence, before Alex asked: “Did you have a good day?”

“Of course, I did,” Thomas replied, then after a beat, “Though I am fucking exhausted after this, why did we invite all those people again? I hate talking to people.”

“Because we wanted to actually fill the church,” Alex grinned, “But you’re right, I could sleep for a week.”

“Well, sleeping beauty, you will have to make do to with,” Thomas checked the time, “five whole hours, then we have to catch a plane.”

“Ah, yes,” Alex said, “Paris is waiting.”

“Along with the future.”

“You fucking sap.”

“Excuse you, that’s your fucking forever sap, Mister.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

“Who’s the sap now?”

“Oh, shut up,” Alex said, but didn’t protest when Thomas lead him back to their bedroom. They still had a future waiting for them. ‘Till death to them part, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Today in I try to write a natural time skip between chapters.

Me describing a scene in a botanical garden with one flower as the end goal along with a whole ass wedding with flowers, is such a struggle lmao, but that’s what I get for making flowers important.

Btw the wedding bouquet means charming (cluster musk rose), relieve my anxiety (Christmas rose), devotion/faithfulness (heliotrope) and hope (hawthorn). Fun fact: I wanted to name this chapter after heliotrope at first, but that felt a bit too cliché.

Also the bit of poetry is from ‘i saw you as a flower’I got the book! It’s so cute and I love it, I’ve never been a poetry person, but I’ve always wanted to be, so here’s to me trying stuff :D

I am never getting married for the sole reason that I do not want to write vows ever again.

Also, the wedding bouquet:

[mazzy-moon]

A Lone Butterfly - Chapter 4

Title of Chapter: Numb

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings/Tags: Grief/Mourning, Mentions of kidnapping, Angst and Feels, Age Difference

Pairing: Javier Peña (Narcos) x Isabel Cotrille (OFC)

Summary: After being in the hospital for a week, Isabel is looking forward to going home to see her mother. Before she can leave though, Javier must reveal something he's been keeping from her.

Notes: Follow my blog for more! I will try to post a new chapter every 1 to 2 days. Find me on ao3

A full week has passed since I was brought to the hospital and I've finally been told I can leave tonight. My body has not fully healed, but the doctor said I should be good to go as long as I take it easy. A bandage is wrapped across my entire mid section, due to the broken rib I suffered. My body is still riddled with purplish-yellow bruises and the cut across my neck is taking forever to heal, but I feel much better than I did a week ago.

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and assess myself. Wow, I look terrible. My facial bones stick out more than normal and I have a fading black eye. The color that was once in my cheeks is now nonexistent. My hair looks decent since I washed it, so at least there's that. I sigh and head back out to my bed. Plopping myself down on it, I finish my breakfast.

Once the nausea wore off and I was able to hold down my food, I couldn't stop eating. I had never been so hungry in my life. Slowly, but surely I regained some of my strength. Physically, anyway. Inside I felt hollow. Maybe I was just bored. Staring at a white wall for seven days will do that.

I was questioned again a few more times, each time more frustrated with myself for not being able to remember anything new. They told me it wasn't my fault, that I was kept drugged most of the time spent at the cartel fort so I may not remember anything for a while. Or ever.

Javier has remained a constant presence since my rescue. A little guilt creeps up on me when I think on how obliging he's been. I've been so stuck in my gloom, that I've forgotten to thank him for for being here with me. He helped me get in and out of bed the first few days and helped me change out my bandages among other things. The nurses took his place when it came time for me to shower, which I was grateful for. I know Javier already saw most everything there is to see since I was barely clothed when he rescued me, but that doesn't mean I want him helping me shower.

It's strange the since of familiarity we've developed over the last few days. Before then, he was a fleeting presence in my life. I only saw him a handful of times. I spent the majority of my childhood in the states with my mother and my grandparents, except for the visits we took to see my father. I remember him bringing me to his office, to parties, and Javier would be there. I had to have been around eleven or twelve. As got a little older, I remember thinking in an innocent way how handsome Javier was. He was much younger than my father, and new in his career. I would get shy around him and my father would laugh at me.

Then there was the funeral.

Last year, my father participated in a raid on one of the largest cartels in the city. A shootout took place which ultimately claimed his life.

I flew in for the funeral by myself, my grandparents having already passed years prior. I had inherited their condo and had lived there by myself for the last two years.

I stood with my mother during the ceremony and as the burial took place. Many people came up to us and talked of what a great man Agent Cotrille was. Javier was the last to approach. He told of how my father taught him everything he knew about the job, had even saved his life on one occasion. At the end he made us promise him that we would let him know if we ever needed anything. We had already heard those words a dozen times, but something in Javier's eyes made me realize he really meant it.

As I eat the last bite of toast and finish off my orange juice, I hear a knock at the door.

"Come in," I raise my voice loud enough for them to hear.

It's Javier.

He's wearing jeans and light brown jacket. His hair is damp from the rain outside. I look up at him and our eyes meet as he closes the door.

"So...are you taking me to see my mom?"

He waits before finally speaking.

"Look. Isabel. I have to talk to you before we leave. I haven't been totally honest with you."

I'm annoyed. I just want to go home.

"What do you mean?"

"After we rescued you from the cartel, they... retaliated. You were very important to them. It was no accident that they chose an ex DEA member's daughter. They wanted to use you to send a message to us. That they wouldn't hesitate to go after each DEA member personally. We've also found out that they sought to use you as an in to the sex trafficking ring, though we stopped that before they were able to get very far with it."

I listen to his words and my stomach is sick. He continues.

"My point is...they had plans for you. Big plans. They weren't going to just let us get away with taking you."

"What did they do?" I demand.

He looks at me with a pained expression for a moment before masking it.

"They killed your mother."

He says it like he's ripping off a Band-Aid. My shock doesn't allow me to process it immediately. I sit there on the edge of the hospital bed, speechless. After everything that's happened to me, this hits me the hardest. My eyes glue themselves to the linoleum floor. I don't feel numb anymore. I feel...angry. And panicked. And scared.

He looks intently at me, sympathy radiating from his body.

"Isa. I'm sorry-" I stop him before he can go on.

"How?" I show no emotion in my voice.

Javier sighs deeply before beginning.

"They broke in, thinking you'd be there. When your mother wouldn't tell them where you were they... they shot her."

"When did you know?" I demand.

"Two days after you got here." Which meant he knew she was already dead when I asked him about seeing her. He lied to me.

"Why did you let me believe she was alive?" I almost yell the words. A tear escapes and falls down my bruised cheek.

"You had already gone through so much- I didn't want to overwhelm you."

I was furious. And I needed time by myself to process this.

"Get out."

"Isabel..."

"Get out!"

Javier looks at me one last time before turning the doorknob.

Once he's gone I turn my head into the pillow and sob until my cheeks are puffy. I cry for my mother, for myself, and for everything taken from me. Eventually, I cry myself to sleep and dream of my mother. In my dreams I go back and forth in my swing set as she waters the flowers in the little garden outside my childhood home. The sun shines down upon us and I watch as butterflies fly circles around her. She turns to look back at me.

"Mama!" I squeal in delight.

"Too high, Isa. Come help me with the garden!"

I watch as my child self runs up to her. I'm almost there. She holds out her arms to me but disappears just as I reach her. In her wake the sky turns bleak and even the flowers at my feet have all shriveled up and wilted away to nothing.

I stand there all alone. A lone butterfly.

[dansnaturepictures]

15th July 2021: Purple and White-letter Hairstreak, Swift and Buzzard and more at Lakeside and home 

I enjoyed seeing a Buzzard soaring over out the back as I worked today. I hadn’t seen many birds of prey around for a while so this was nice. When going over to Lakeside at lunch time I saw probably the first Small Skipper butterfly I ever have on the green out the front before reaching Lakeside. When I got into Lakeside walking from the eastern meadows along to the visitor centre then around Concorde and the westernmost lake and out along the northern path, the meadows were like a pick and mix so bright and deliciously varied were their rich colours. Once again, so lovely to take in. And on Big Butterfly Count Eve species like Marbled White and the Small Skippers were out in great numbers again. I took the first three pictures in this photoset of views as I walked around with great willowherb making a great impression on the landscape looking pretty and pink. I took the fourth and fifth pictures in this photoset too of Concorde lake and the green and yellow carpet of grass and ragwort and bird’s-foot trefoil which looked nice with the bit of woodland looking nice looming behind. By the lake, with the cow parsnip making some nice scenes today all together to, I spotted some similar nice little yellow flowers fairly high up and I found via the PlantNet ID app its wild parsnip the first I ever recall seeing and I really liked seeing it did look beautiful. 

Walking beside the westernmost lake shown in the seventh picture in this photoset I saw some nice birds, Great Crested Grebe pretty well and some Mallards very close by I took the sixth picture in this photoset of one with another special Swallow over the lake. I took the final three pictures in this photoset going along the northern path within Lakeside to exit the country park. 

With the sun just hinting at poking through as it did this afternoon and the evening at the end of the lunch time walk the tone of the day would be set. As I mentioned on Friday night: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/656278778443628544/9th-july-2021-part-1-of-2-wildlife-photos-and I saw some butterflies which I thought were potential hairstreaks getting very quick views of them at the tops of trees either side of the northern path seeing them in and outside of the country park. I could just not see them for long enough or see them landed to confirm whilst I liked seeing them as they were and whatever they were of course. So I had no confirmation on if they were hairstreaks or which one they were. To slight relief then I enjoyed seeing the two potentials the rare White-letter Hairstreak and Purple Hairstreak at Knepp in Sussex alongside Purple Emperor at this brilliant place on Saturday. But all of a sudden today, I’d checked a few times in cloudy and sunny weather again this week, a hairstreak was in the air around the tops of the trees and did seem to come down for a minute too. And it had the bright brown glow of the White-letter Hairstreak. I saw it a few times and was happy it was this species as my lunch break came to an end but I wanted one view of it, even for a minute landed to really take it in and watch it. 

And this prompted me out for what turned into an amazing evening walk. Having done a bit of reminding myself of the trees the White-letter Hairstreaks frequent before the walk, I walked along to the trees I had seen the hairstreaks Friday and today or the probable hairstreaks on Friday and didn’t see any again. But on the way I had noticed trees which looked just like the trees at Peartree Green in Southampton where in a heatwave with England doing well in a senior men’s football tournament White-letter Hairstreak came into our life in one glorious summer week off where I first discovered Knepp and Yorkshire three years ago. So I thought these would be a good bet. And I was delighted to see hairstreaks gently dancing around the tree top, two small ones. And they were landing and I could just about see where. In this unique butterfly season for weather where maybe the changeable conditions means butterflies are seeming to be seen landed less, this was the most I’d seen any hairstreak land this summer (the only other hairstreak I’ve seen this year the Green Hairstreak as I often do one of the spring butterflies more so). And even though the trees they are found in differs to the white-letters, I was astounded to find that these were Purple Hairstreaks with their cute little spot, prominent white lines and violet stained markings! I got a photo of one which I posted on my Twitter Dans_Pictures tonight. 

I knew in my mind these were different to the lunch time ones so both species are here. I am thinking, whilst I would not change the fact that Knepp is where I ticked it this year because I really wasn’t sure here on Friday but at Knepp I could be, that what I saw on Friday night was most likely Purple Hairstreaks so the white letters possibly came out later. White-letter Hairstreak we were given information on the last two years were at Lakeside but still a big thing to see obviously but Purple Hairstreak was a real surprise. I could not believe my eyes as I saw one of these a little way up the path or maybe the same one again flying around and landed. With both of these monumental hairstreak species patch ticks for my butterfly section on that, its only the third place I’ve ever seen Purple Hairstreak and White-letter Hairstreak, after Bentley Wood and Knepp and Peartree Green and Knepp respectively. It felt amazing to be able to say that my local urban country park Lakeside is on the lists alongside some of the leading locations for butterflies in the country! It was fantastic seeing these hairstreaks especially the purples maybe after seven years and fourteen days since I saw my first ever at Bentley Wood. I was just so proud not only that Lakeside but the northern path which has given me some of my best wildlife moments this year recently with butterfly and flower species seen really well with a few firsts of years, that these rare butterflies are here and it was exceptional to see them. On my patch list for butterflies are over half of all the butterflies I’ve ever seen which makes me proud too.They are two of my butterflies of the year even just on the Knepp sightings and I felt they helped propel the day into insect gold for me. It felt like the butterfly version of my Tawny Owl, Lesser Spotted Woodpecker and seen on one day back in late winter* you get things that mirror each other interestingly in years I find. Some of my best ever moments of butterfly watching at Lakeisde, the place that has given me so much of my love for butterflies from the early days onwards. 

Also tonight, Swifts were delightedly gliding in the lovely bright conditions I got some smashing views of these dark brown beauties. There were other great insects around like bees high up on the trees too. A momentous day of butterflies for me and a great day all round. I hope you all had a good one. 

Willdife Sightings Summary: My first White-letter Hairstreak and Purple Hairstreak seen on patch ever, one of my favourite butterflies the Marbled White, two of my favourite birds the Great Crested Grebe and Buzzard, Small Skipper, Meadow Brown, Mallard, Black-headed Gull, a Lesser Black-backed Gull well from home out the front, Swift, Swallow, Starling, House Sparrow, Woodpigeon, Collared Dove, Jackdaw, bee and moth. 

*The explanation of that Tawny Owl/Lesser Spotted Woodpecker moment as I wrote about it on the day https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/646225357122535424/20th-march-2021-house-sparrows-on-world-sparrow

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch9

This was meant to be just a quick bit of practice at freehand drawing so I could work on doing neat straight lines and circles.  Then I found my old glass paints that have been in a box for...8 years (?) and suddenly I now have a WASP suncatcher.  I’m a bit wobbly with the relief edging, probably not helped in that the tubes had gone a bit firm and funky, but I’m predicting more sun catchers and maybe a few candle holders will appear soon.

Many thanks are due to @willow-salix​ who has provided much hand holding and head pats.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Nine

Gordon fell into line amongst the other hopefuls.  For the next few days he wasn’t Gordon Tracy, Olympian and heir to one of the largest fortunes in America, he was Number 14 and the anonymity suited him just fine.  The elastic armband around his bicep was the sole identifier to distinguish him from the other candidates as the assessors marked down their observations.  Only the course leader had the information that linked names to numbers; each stage of selection was kept separate to avoid bias.  

“Atten...shun!”

The command was barked out by the officer placed in charge of his group and Gordon found himself jumping to the alert and snapping his feet together automatically.  Evidently something had remained buried deep in his memory from all the times watching Scott being taught drill by their father or practicing out in the yard in Kansas all those years ago.  The rest of the group also snapped to attention with varying degrees of success.

“Group C, your first test is pool fitness.  You have two minutes to fetch your swimming kit and fall back into line.  Go!”

There was a mad scramble towards the door of their temporary accommodation as Gordon and the other potential recruits allocated to group C raced to retrieve their kit from their bunks.  They had barely been on base for an hour but had already learnt that failure to meet a time limit or just being last to complete a task would result in being given punishment press ups.  By the time they had reassembled groups A and B were nowhere to be seen, evidently separated off to undertake one of the other selection tests.

As they marched across the base to the pool Gordon couldn’t help but feel slightly pleased that his group was getting to swim first.  This was his natural environment and he justifiably had every confidence in his own abilities.  It would also give him a good chance to stretch out his muscles after sitting around in the airport and then being cramped in an airline seat; domestic flights were always taken in coach class for a Tracy son travelling solo.

Once within the pool building more orders were barked giving a time limit to get changed.  Gordon quickly found a space on the bench and started stripping.  Some of the other recruits seemed a little uncomfortable about changing in the communal space but Gordon figured that privacy would often be hard to come by within the submarine service and now was not the time to be worried about modesty.  After years of completing the action several times a week he could be in his kit almost as quickly as he could swim 200m and he was one of the first ready.  

He snapped on his sunshine yellow swimming cap drawing a few strange looks but Gordon shrugged them off; so what if only a couple of candidates in his group were wearing them?  To Gordon the cap was just a standard part of his kit, however he was glad he had decided to leave his Team USA branded items at home and opt for his plain training set; there was no need to draw more attention to himself than was strictly necessary.

Out on the poolside the elastic armbands were replaced by numbered stickers slapped on shoulder and thigh.  From the way the sticker pulled tightly at the skin Gordon just knew that ripping it off later would be a painful experience.  Once numbers had been applied everyone lined up expectantly, awaiting further orders.

“Right, I want two circuits of the pool as warm up.  No cutting the corners.  No touching the wall.  Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir!”  the chorus of voices responded in unison.  

“Into the water, in number order.  Go!”

One by one the men allocated to group C were counted into the water to complete their circuits around the perimeter of the pool.  The pace was frustratingly slow for the Olympian whose number placed him towards the rear of the pack and it took a lot of self control not to stretch out and overtake those ahead of him.  

The slow pace allowed Gordon plenty of opportunity to look around the facility.  WASP evidently invested in its sporting areas for the pool itself was up to Olympic standards even if the viewing and changing areas were a little more basic than Gordon had encountered at some of his competitions.  If he was given the opportunity to continue his swimming training, and it wasn’t unheard of to encounter military participants released for competitions, he would have no complaints about the standard of the Marineville pool.  Unfortunately his appraisal of the facilities nearly earned him a kick in the face, he hadn’t realised how close he had got to the swimmer in front and had to drop his pace yet again to maintain some distance.  For him the actual tests and the chance to stretch out his limbs couldn’t come soon enough.  

With warm-up over the first eight swimmers were allocated their lanes.  Gordon watched the action even more closely than the assessors, critiquing the style of others was all part of his ingrained training and he winced at some of the sloppy dives and mangled turns.  Still, the tests were about meeting a minimum standard rather than being competition ready.

Soon enough it was time for swimmers 9 through to 16 to claim a lane.  It didn’t escape Gordon’s notice that his number placed him in lane six and the coincidence struck him as lucky.  If you had asked him just a few months ago what his favourite lane was he would have promptly answered four but after his Olympic success he has developed a soft spot for his current position, after all it had been good enough to earn him gold and a world record.  He adjusted his goggles and wiggled his toes on the edge of the pool, he would have preferred to use a starting block but he could adapt.

The sound of the whistle had him launching into the water in a clean dive.  There had been no stipulations on the stroke to be used and Gordon automatically found himself using his preferred butterfly, unaware of the raised eyebrows this was causing among the onlookers; his rejection of freestyle making him stick out almost as much as the yellow hat.  That and the fact that he left the other candidates in his wake.  He shot through the water, powerful muscles propelling him towards the finish at a rate that far exceeded expectations.

Less than 2 minutes later and Gordon had completed his fourth lap and finished the test.  He had taken it easy, or at least he thought he had until he turned and realised the next nearest swimmer was almost a full lap behind him.  He returned bemused stares with a shrug and a smile before placing his hands on the poolside and launching himself out to sit on the edge and wait for the others to finish.

The remainder of the pool tests passed in much the same fashion with Gordon easily outstripping his cohort.  He could swim faster, dive further and hold his breath for longer than any of the others.  His techniques were sharp and in the water he moved with a strength and grace that were enviable.  Even skills like casualty towing, which wasn’t part of his usual repertoire, came naturally to him and he aced the tests with ease.  The assessors scribbled some hurried notes on their pads; when it came to the water based activities at least candidate 14 was marking himself out as someone to watch.

xoxoxox

The first day drew to a close and Gordon was thankful when his group were released to the freedom of their dormitory.  The pool session had been swiftly followed by a run then a drill lesson in one of the large parade squares dotted around the base.  His muscles were weary and clearly grumbling at the lack of deep stretching after his swim but he was in a better shape than many in the room.  WASP only accepted the very best to join its ranks and the selection tests were designed to weed out those not up to standard.  Already three beds in his room were empty after their allocated occupants had withdrawn, either having had a change of heart or to avoid the shame of being rejected at the end of the course having already failed too many of the test elements. 

Tempting as it was to just flop down onto his bunk Gordon knew from painful experience that he would regret it the following day.  He settled himself on an empty patch of floor and started running through some yoga poses to try and work out the tension in his back and legs.  Just because the instructors hadn’t given them much opportunity to stretch didn’t give him the excuse to neglect his body.  It also gave him something productive to do while waiting for his turn in the showers.

His activities drew some curious looks and half-sniggered comments from the others in the room but he zoned out and ignored them, instead focussing on his form until the showers came free.  He didn’t have long to wait, two showers came free at the same time and both he and Number 13 grabbed their towels and headed through to the wash rooms.

He stripped down to his shorts and picked experimentally at the stickers left in place after the pool session, the glue was strong and part of him was tempted to leave them except the edges were just beginning to lift and annoy him.  He gritted his teeth, pinched the loosest corner and ripped back sharply.  He swiftly repeated the action on the second sticker then rubbed briskly at the angry red patches left on his skin.

“That looked painful.  Not too sure I want to do that to myself”

He looked up, met the eyes of Number 13 and grinned.

“It’s just like pulling off a band-aid.  Nothing to it.” 

“Rather you than me.  I think I'll try and get mine in the shower.”

They went their separate ways into the empty cubicles and Gordon turned the shower up high.  The accommodation might be spartan but he was glad the water was hot and plentiful.  The powerful drops blasted away the sweat and chlorine that had built up on his skin and he turned his face into the stinging stream.  Much as he would have liked to stand there for longer he knew others were waiting their turn and it wouldn't be fair to hang around.  The temptation was strong but he hadn’t been impressed by the amount of time some candidates had taken and it wasn’t fair to keep the last few waiting longer than they had to.  

All too soon he was back in the chilly dorm room, hauling himself onto the bunk that had been marked out as his.  Eight sets of bunk beds lined the room, with thirteen of the individual beds now filled.  He wondered how many more gaps would appear as the selection course progressed.  Murmurs of conversation broke out around the room as the participants made use of the first real chance they had to get to know each other since arriving.  The instructors had kept them busy all afternoon and unnecessary chatter during the tasks had been swiftly quelled by punishment press ups,  but now, with no instructors around, the candidates could speak more freely.

Gordon lay back and listened.  It was the usual first-night whispers he remembered from some of his swim camps; name, city but unsurprisingly not their favourite distance and stroke.  The introductions travelled around the room; it seemed Marineville saw applicants from the west coast right through to the central states.  Gordon knew it would soon be his turn and he resolved to say as little as possible, he was enjoying being just another person in the crowd.

“So what about you 14?”

“Gordon, I'm from LA.” 

If he thought he was going to be able to get away with the bare minimum he was sorely mistaken.

“So what were you doing before you decided to try out for WASP?  You're built like a tank and you swim like a fish.  You some personal trainer or something?”

“Me? Uh, I've just high finished school.  I do swim competitively though.”

Thankfully the candidate doing the questioning latched on more to the school part than the swimming.

“Only just left school?  You don't act like some kid, I thought you were at least 20, maybe 22.”

“Nope, only 17.”

“Jeez, that makes you the baby of the group.  So what do your family think of you heading off to sea first chance you get?”

Thankfully Gordon was spared answering by a bellow from the doorway.

“This is a military base, not a holiday camp.  If you lot have enough energy to gossip you obviously aren't working hard enough.  Now if I hear another sound from this room I will have you outside running laps until you drop.  Do you understand me?”

A chorus of “Yes, Sir!” rang out before the room descended into total silence.

Gordon rolled over, wondering what challenges tomorrow would bring.

xoxoxox

The second day of selection started with the sound of drums at daybreak.  Sleepy heads were raised in confusion.  Others who were quicker on the uptake, Gordon included, leapt from their beds and started throwing on clothes.  He was glad he hadn’t skimped on the stretches the night before, some of his contemporaries were looking decidedly stiff after the exertions of the previous day.

The now familiar sound of shouting filled the room.

“Up!  Up!  Sports kit on and outside for PT before breakfast.  Move!”

Gordon was no stranger to early morning training.  As the first beats had sounded from the speakers in the corners of the room he had been on his feet, all shreds of sleep disappearing in an instant.  It was an enviable skill and obviously not one possessed by all in the room.  To the observing instructor in the doorway  Number 14 shone through yet again as one of the stronger candidates.

   There was no denying that WASP selection was a taxing experience. The group was whisked from one set of tests to another.  If it wasn’t their bodies being tested it was their minds as they sat exam papers or explored leadership scenarios.  By lunch time another member of his group had dropped out, and judging by the numbers sitting down to eat groups A and B were now similarly depleted.  Even those that lasted the distance had no guarantee they would be accepted to wear the prestigious grey uniform; the standards might have an absolute minimum but it had been made clear that if more met the standard than was needed then only the very best would be made an offer.

While many were struggling Gordon was relishing the challenge.  It was as though he had found his niche.  Even the written tests, which he had approached with some trepidation, had been well within his comfort zone which helped his confidence soar.  Theories and concepts which had seemed so abstract at school seemed to make more sense when applied to a real life scenario and for once in his life Gordon walked away from a classroom without feeling a failure.

After lunch group C were to take their turn on the obstacle course, a gruelling array of beams, walls and aerial wires that would require both strength and agility to navigate.  To Gordon the course looked like a massive playground and he couldn’t help but grin at the prospect.

The instructors divided the group into smaller teams of four and Gordon’s team set off onto the course first at the sound of the whistle.  

The group raced along, leaping over pits using rope swings and stepping along narrow beams as quickly as their balance allowed, each candidate aiming to be the first to reach and therefore clear each piece of equipment.  It was every man for himself.  That was until they were brought up short by a 10 foot wall.  Number 6, who was keen to keep his early lead, took a running jump at the obstacle.  His fingers caught the top edge but he was unable to keep a good enough grip to climb over and he soon fell back down again.

To Gordon the solution was obvious; it was quickly becoming apparent to him that this test was different to those that had gone before and if they were to have any hope of making it through successfully then teamwork would have to be the order of the day.  

“Look, if any of us are to stand a chance of getting through this course we are going to have to work together.”

Number 6, after a second failed leap, was quick to agree.  Numbers 3 and 10, arriving a moment later, could also see sense in the plan.  

“Sure.  So how are we going to tackle this one.”

Three sets of eyes turned to Gordon expectantly.  Having been the one to voice the idea the others were evidently expecting him to come up with the solution.  He thought for a moment then turned and planted his back against the wall, bending his knees to make a step.

“6, you’re tallest, you go first.  Use me as a ladder to get up but stay on top of the wall, don’t drop down the other side.  You can then help up 3 and 10.  Once you’re all on top you can reach back down and haul me over.  Got it?”

There were three nods of agreement. 

Gordon braced himself as first his legs then his shoulders were used as steps.  Once.  Twice.  A third time.  His clothes became marked with muddy footprints but he didn’t care, the plan was working and he was soon being bodily lifted up and over the obstacle by the team he had helped up first.

Having made the decision to work together the group soon found themselves speeding through the course.  Many obstacles, while able to be attempted solo, could be cleared much quicker with careful cooperation and support; Gordon had evidently read the situation correctly.  

Despite being the youngest the others seemed happy to defer to him as their leader and Gordon found himself naturally assuming command of the team.  He directed the group to make the best use of their combined talents.  Before long the band of four found themselves at the far end of the course, just one final obstacle to navigate their way over then the run for home.

Using their now tried and tested method the team were soon atop the final wall despite it being the biggest yet.  From here they could look back over the whole course, the other candidates and their assessors were indistinct figures in the distance.

“Wonder who that is come to visit?  Probably from the World Navy.  Best make sure we put on a good show, they might be important.”

From his lofty vantage point Gordon looked back towards the start point.  Number 6 was right, someone new had joined the cluster of watching assessors, the dark blue of their uniform a stark contrast to WASP grey.

“No idea.  Come on, let's finish this as a team.”

The group jumped down from the final obstacle and began the mad sprint back to the beginning of the course and their waiting assessors.  As they closed the gap between themselves and the waiting officers, making sure no one was left behind, the mystery figure resolved itself into a familiar form for Gordon 

Recognition led first to confusion and then to anger.

Scott.

[doggendoodle]

New Horizons Status Report #19 (Day 10)

Session 1

oh my God Isabelle is so cute. Anyway, morning announcement: the campsite is up and running! Construction has also finished on the suspension bridge and started on the Able Sisters' shop

I found an ankylo tail fossil (new!) in the bamboo forest, and retrieve my shopping from the mailbox, as well as thank-you letters from everyone

Flick is in town and he's geeking out about bugs, aw. I sell some bugs I had on me, and then go get my emperor butterflies out of storage to commission him

ok maybe geeking out wasn't strong enough of a word - he's basically worshipping them... it's kinda adorable

The bugs supplied Jeremiah with another DIY recipe, this time for a garden rock. I take a copy for myself, and also found a recipe from "Ed" for a decoy duck

Then I go fossil hunting - I find a mammoth skull (new!) on the east coast, a a tricera torso (new!) on the cliff near the orchard, a loom from a balloon (not a fossil, just wanted to mention it), and a stego skull (new!) at the picnic spot

I finally manage to give Pinky her windflower wreath and she gives me 936 Bells in exchange :)

I make and customize a few decoy ducks - one mallard, one spot-billed and one common pochard. I keep the mallard, give the spot-billed to Boots (in exchange for a layered shirt :O) and mail the pochard to a friend

Session 2

I visit Resident Services, and Tom Nook says that the campsite is blowing up in popularity, and we should expect visitors soon. I access the Nook Stop real quick, sending a gift to a friend and buying the ACNH Switch, and then talk to Isabelle about the town flag. I change it to a flag depicting the day/night cycle, with a crescent moon against a red beaming sun.

And now, with its town tune and flag, Ryland is finally a home away from home :D

Paula gives me a pair of triangle shades, and I find a floor sign in a tree

Paula and Jeremiah have a conversation in the plaza. Jeremiah is surprised that Paula knows about flowers, and to strut her stuff, she tells me about roses. Yellow roses mean friendship, and orange mean trust. Jeremiah wishes he could have an orange rose, so that's my first plan as soon as I get some (second plan is giving red roses to Boots, third plan is giving the girls roses too)

Speaking of flowers, I buy some hyacinth and pansy seeds from Nook's Cranny and plant them in my flower garden. I do so much gardening I attract an emperor butterfly. I also shoot down a recipe for a bamboo-shoot lamp, and added one to my collection of bamboo-related items, surrounded by bamboo fencing, since most of their recipes are listed as "seasonal" and I don't know what that means, but I know that if the recipes disappear in summer, I want to at least have all these items made

Session 3

I spend some time watering my flowers, and Paula teaches me how to Laugh! I shoot down a balloon containing 5,000 Bells, another one containing a colourful wheel, a third one containing a cute sofa, and a fourth one containing 5,000 more Bells. I also found out you can hop between wharfs, if they're close enough, and dig up a few manila clams to make fish bait

I spent 1,500 Bells on a fax machine for a TikTok idea, and purchase and redeem another Nook Miles Ticket. I end up at an island with a koi pond. I spend a long time there, catching fish that are going away in April, emperor butterflies, plenty of koi and goldfish, and some trash because I have recipes that require trash

Earlier, Paula wanted to talk to me, but forgot what about. When I get back, she remembers and gives me some square glasses while... blushing?

I find Flick in the bamboo forest, and sell him all my emperor butterflies for exorbitant amounts. I then sell most of my fish to Nook's Cranny for an even larger amount, except for one goldfish which I keep as a pet. I make so much money off my trip to the island that I can pay off the final part of my house loan. I get to remain debt free for longer than usual, as I decide to hold the ceremonies for the suspension bridge. Then I go straight back to Resident Services and upgrade my house again because I desperately need the storage, especially since the Able Sisters are opening tomorrow too, and I have ways of making money quickly *cough99000BellMoneyTreescough*

Session 4

I shoot down *another* 5,000 Bells while hunting for sturgeons and stringfish. Aurora compliments my humble sweater and gives me some traditional suteteko pants to go with them, so this is now my outfit, sorry honey I don't make the rules I just happily enforce them

Boots tries to flog a sleeping bag to me for 1,400 Bells. I've got plenty of Bells for it from all the occult stuff I've been doing with Flick, but he seemed really worried about not being able to sell it before I talked to him. He really likes the vest with binoculars that I gave him, though. I place the bag at the campsite

I'm getting tired of the ladder, so I pop into Resident Services and talk to Nook about an incline. I pick the natural one and head to the west coast to place it, picking up a reply letter & gift of a mounted blue marlin from my friend on the way. I cut down a tree to make the path to the incline more clear, but I discover a wasp's nest. Thankfully I manage to escape to the museum in time. Then I make a small contribution to the incline fund, since it isn't as critical as the bridge was, and go back to sturgeon-hunting

I redeem another Nook Miles Ticket and head off to a waterfall island, so I scale the falls to head to the top. I head down when I see there's a river mouth, and what do you know, I catch a second, third and fourth sturgeon! The first one being the sturgeon I have at home

Apparently Paula used to live in a rural town, but came on the Deserted Island Getaway Package for a change of pace

[romantic-reveries]

He throws it out there, almost offhandedly. So much that I think he’s kidding. “If It were up to me, I’d have already hung out with you. I mean, I’m off tomorrow. Do you want me to come down there?”

I laugh, but he doesn’t laugh with me. “You’re serious?”

“Do you want me to come down there?” He repeats.

I flounder. “Well, yes and I don’t know?” I hadn’t considered it being this soon, with everything going on.

“Well, why ‘yes and I don’t know’? What’s the ‘I don’t know’ part?”

“I just usually need time to mentally prepare for things.” He understands and tells me there’s no pressure, but he wants to put it out there, that he has nothing going on the next day, so I can just let him know.

I think about it before I fall asleep, and surprise myself by texting him the next morning to ask if he’s still interested. He is.

• • •

He’s about an hour from me, and plans to come in the early afternoon. I spend the whole day feeling surprisingly calm about it. Cleaning, and getting ready, and taking Ella for a walk. I stay busy. And about ten minutes before he’s supposed to get here, it hits me. My stomach fills with butterflies, and I’m restless, rambling on to my grandma about nothing in particular just to fill the space.

He shows up here with flowers. A pretty vase of lilies. My brain melted at the sight. We sat in the living room, and played with Ella, and talked with my grandma for a bit, and when there was a lull, I asked what he wanted to do. He needed to eat, because he’d skipped lunch.

So we went and he got something to eat, because I’d eaten already and wasn’t hungry, and then we went to a local park, with an infamous big yellow chair, and he picked me up and put me in it because I couldn’t climb up myself. There were carvings all over the chair, as people tend to do in hotspots like that. He asked me if I wanted to, and handed me his keys. I felt flustered and asked for suggestions of which he gave me none, and finally settled on the old cliche—JD + AL. We’re memorialised there now forever, and that’s strange to think. We kicked our legs like little kids and I avoided his gaze, because I was scared. We finally settled on going back to my place.

We found ourselves in my room, and he played some music for me, and I felt myself sucked back to last January, with another boy picking up my instruments in turn, sitting at the end of my bed, and singing me a song.

He got up to use the bathroom, and when he came back, he smiled and said, “This is what I really wanted to do,” and tackled me to the bed. We clunked heads, and I ended up on top of him, giggling. I told him he was cute, and he kissed me, and I felt like I was dreaming.

We spent the remainder of the time listening to soft songs and kissing, touching, tasting in the softest, most tender ways. He told me that he wants me to set the pace for everything—that once we hit a certain point, he’ll have no reservations doing so, but he puts my comfort above everything else. He doesn’t judge my lack of experience at all, and he’s so patient with me. Kissing is okay, but making out isn’t something I’ve done much of. Boy #1 mostly just stuck his tongue in my mouth and that was that, and it wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t much of an active participant. Boy #2 tried to swallow my face. “We can work on it,” He chuckled against my ear after I’d shoved it against his neck in embarassment. “It’s all about give and take.”

“Do you want to try it? Or no?” He was leaving it up to me.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, nodding bashfully against him. “But I need a little instruction.” And so he showed me, and we practiced.

I tell him, once, that it feels a bit silly how even feather-light touches get me worked up. I feel like a panting little mess for so little stimulus. He tells me just because I can’t see him panting doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting him in other ways. I tell him I know, that I’d wanted to feel him earlier, but I chickened out. I didn’t want to feel like I was teasing him on something I wasn’t gonna follow through with. He told me I could, so we kissed, and I skimmed my hand down his torso, fingering his waistband. “Guide me,” I whispered against his mouth, and he did.

After some hot and heavy, we settled down and just snuggled together. He skimmed his fingers gently up and down my back, played in my hair. It felt so warm and incredible I could’ve fallen asleep.

I think about the guy from two years ago, who I pined after so intensely and relentlessly, and how when he came here—after seven stupid fucking months—he made me feel small, and silly, and insignificant, and hollow. He texted me from his truck when he got here, told me I was loud, gaslit me by telling me that him not coming sooner wasn’t because he was scared, just busy, despite the fact that I had text evidence that said otherwise. He played romantic songs to me when he had no right; even Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift—a song that I had on the playlist I’d made about him that he had no idea about, and so I let myself believe it was kismet—and let me sing it, thinking it meant something. He wanted me to play with his hair, but didn’t touch mine. He told me to open my mouth wider when we kissed, while it felt like he was trying to eat my face. After looking into someone else’s eyes today, I realize how dead his were. An hour and a half, one really awful kiss, and a few unsatisfactory touches later, he said it was “about that time,” slipped out the door and closed it behind him when I had intended on walking out with him, and left me all alone in the turmoil of that. And really had the nerve to text me, “you okay?” after, and then never explain anything.

The difference is night and day. The first one texted me from his truck. This one, he came to the door with flowers.

The first one told me I was loud. He worked to elicit giggles from me.

The first one lied, while he communicated openly and honestly, consistently, exactly who he presented himself to be.

The first one wanted me to play with his hair, but only in a specific way—he wouldn’t let me touch the front—sure some kind of vanity. He played with my hair, and stroked my back.

They both kissed me first, except the first one took me by surprise, because I’d told him I didn’t just want it to be about that and I wasn’t even looking at him when he leaned in and then he told me to open my mouth wider. This one... He waited for my signal, and if he hadn’t kissed me first, I was about to kiss him, and he deferred to me, only gently guiding when I asked.

The first one made it sexual, and I let him, because I felt anxious and afraid I wasn’t ever gonna see him again, and I was right. But him, he let me lead, and we both kept our clothes on, because why rush?

JD is really cognizant of my bad experiences. “You know how sometimes you can’t know how bad something really was until you have something good?” I ask him. He nods.

“That’s what this is.”

He laughs. “Well, if nothing else, I’m glad to be a positive experience, because you deserve that.” And it was. Everything that guy did wrong, he did right. Everything I wanted that to be, this was. It felt like a dream, like everything I’ve been wanting for so long. To just be tender with someone and to feel allowed to explore them with no expectation. To trace his face, and arms, and hands, and get to know his body, and have him do the same. To lay there together with gently wandering hands, and soft, lingering kisses here and there, tender music a background for us. Like a fucking movie.

And he looked at me like... like I’ve always wanted to be looked at. Like I hung the moon, and he couldn’t believe his luck. Warm, and reverent. It was hard to stop myself from just... thanking him, and telling him over and over how he’d just given me something I’ve dreamed about for so long, that seems so fucking simple, like it shouldn’t have been so hard to find or taken so long, that it makes me want to cry when I think of it. Just that one day, even. Even if it had ended up being nothing else, was so fucking beautiful, and perfect, and warm, and nourishing for me.

I want to bask in the feeling of it forever.

[sagi-andherthoughts]

A Night to Remember

Summary: The event of the year is here! And as preparations, uninvited guests and dancing ensues, sparks will fly and certain feelings will be revealed (maybe). 

Pairing: Bill Weasley x Female!OC

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I know I know I’m very very late with this part 2 and I’m sorry!!! I’m just such a procrastinator and things have been so hectic lately. Anyways I’ve left the ending on the cliffhanger, and I’m sure if I’m gonna continue or not because I’m actually (maybe) planning on doing a series inspired by my MC’s adventures. I’ll let you guys know. 

Link to Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Viviane’s Dress:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After successfully inviting Rowan to the ball as my date, I was summoned back to the Great Hall by Andre, who was excited to show me my clothing options. I owned a couple of dresses and skirts in my wardrobe, but none seemed fitting for what would be the grandest event of the year. And after seeing what Hogwart’s Style Wizard could do, I was looking forward to what he came up with.

The Hall was empty except for myself and Andre, and even from the entrance I could see three mannequins in the front, each with a different dress on them.

“Andre, how did you get everyone to leave so fast?”

“A little magic perhaps?” He joked. “Just kidding, once everyone heard it was for you, they cleared out pretty quickly.”

“Well that’s nice of them. So what are my options?” I looked over to the mannequins and was immediately stunned by the beauty of the dresses. One was a dark blue with stars and constellations woven into the fabric, sparkling and twinkling as if they were real. The second one was a deep maroon with a ruffled tiered bottom and white patterns running across the neckline. The final one was a green cold-shoulder dress with a short slit opening in the middle, and pink petals running down the dress to make it seemed like they were falling.

Seemingly satisfied by my reaction, Andre smiled and waved a hand about dramatically like he was presenting.

“Take your pick Curse-Breaker.”

I walked over and touched each of the dresses, feeling the softness of the fabric under my fingertips. “They are all gorgeous Andre. But…I just feel like they still lack something.” I bit my lip, afraid that my comment had upset him, but to my surprise he had a smile on his face.

“I thought you would say that Viviane, so that’s why I saved the best for last.” He walked over to the corner of the room, where a room divider was set up to form a makeshift changing space, and wheeled another mannequin out.

I gasped as soon as I took a look.

The dress on the mannequin was simply stunning. It was an A-line grey tulle dress with delicate lacing on the bodice. It was also off-the-shoulder and had a sweetheart neckline, helping to show off the right amount of skin without being too risqué.

“Oh Andre.” My hands covered my wide open mouth. “This dress is beautiful.”

“What are you waiting for then?” He was practically pushing me towards the changing space. “Go put it on.”

I quickly changed out of my uniform, and as soon as I put on the dress, I knew that it was the one. I didn’t know how Andre found out my measurements, but it fitted me perfectly, flaring out at my waist and hugged my chest just right. He must truly be a style wizard.

I walked out, cheeks slightly reddening. “So? What do you think?”

“Wow Viviane, you’re going to turn a few heads tonight.” He whistled admiringly. “Twirl around a bit would you?”

I did as he asked, giggling when the dress twirled in a perfect circle, making me feel like one of those ladies in a Jane Austen book going to a soiree.

“You’re a miracle worker Andre, how will I ever thank you?”

“Do the dress justice Curse-Breaker, and that will be enough.”

I went back to change, and as I hugged the dress close to my body to go back to my room, I’ve never felt more excited for the ball.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The 4th year girls were all scrambling around like mad, screaming and shouting every time someone occupied the bathrooms for too long. The girls’ dorm was a mess of makeup, dresses, shoes, and jewellery flying about, and I coughed as some powder flew into my face.

Rowan was in another bathroom getting ready, and we both agreed to meet at the Great Hall instead of going together to keep the surprise, even though I had already seen her dress. I wiped the powder from my face and dusted them off my dress, then proceeded to put my black hair up into a chignon bun that brushed the nape of my neck. For the finishing touch, I also put on some light lip gloss.

While looking at my reflection in the mirror with satisfaction, I also had to fight the urge to run my hands through my hair and untangling them as a mix of nervousness and excitement started to pool in my stomach. I took a few deep breaths, calming down enough to step out of the bathroom, allowing another girl to race through me and go inside.

I exited the Hufflepuff Common Room and started to make my way to the Hall, catching a few glances and looks on the way as my silver sandals clacked against the floors of the castle. My face began heating up as the looks continued as this was the first time I dressed up this much.

The Ball was already at the full-blown level of activity when I entered, a cacophony of laughter and noises and endless twirls of satin and silk and cotton filled the entire place. Some were standing and chatting, some were munching on the food and refreshments, while others were already swaying to the lively music.

“Viviane!” From a distance, I heard my name got called. When I turned, it was Rowan who was walking towards me. “You look absolutely brilliant! I’ve been telling everyone that you’re my date, I hope that’s all right? I’m just so excited!”

“Of course it’s ok! And you look smashing as well. But I got to see your dress beforehand so I knew you would.”

“Just look at you two.” This time, it was Ben who appeared, more confident thanks to the “Maximus Confidencia” charm. “I’m afraid you might be too adorable for your own good.”

“I’m so glad that you talked us into going to the Ball Viviane, and thanks to Andre, I’ve been getting compliments from everyone.”

“I’ll second that, everyone wants my hat!”

“I’m so happy to hear that. And Rowan?” I turned to my best witch. “I’m sorry that I forced you to go at first and not listen to how you feel. I’ve never seen you so crossed with me, I should have been a better friend.”

In response, she put a hand on my bare shoulder and gave a reassuring smile. “Hey, it all worked out, so there’s no use living in the past yeah? Let’s just enjoy tonight.”

At that moment, Penny in her white and yellow ensemble walked over, looking as beautiful as ever. “Apologies guys, I need to steal Viviane for a moment.” I followed her with a promise that I’ll be back shortly, and we ended up near the night sky dance floor.

“It may sound corny, but I feel like you’ve been part of my Celestial Ball journey from the start!”

“Of course Penny! You deserve to be the head of the committee, you did a fantastic job.”

At that moment, Professor Dumbledore took to the front and cleared his throat, gaining the attention of everybody.

“Students, may I have your attention please? I would like to recognize Professor Flitwick for stepping in to lead the Celestial Ball committee’s decorating efforts. Also, I would like to recognize Penny Haywood, head of the decorating committee. The Great Hall never looked as stellar! Enjoy the ball, everyone!”

“Look at that.” I turned to Penny. “You got mentioned in front of everyone.”

“Oh I could explode with joy right now!” The blonde next to me was practically smiling from ear to ear.  She then turned her head around to take in the atmosphere, abruptly stopping when her eyes went to the large front door. “Merlin’s beard, is that Bill?”

My head whipped around faster than a lightning crack, and indeed entering the hall was the handsome Weasley that had been plaguing my mind since the day I found out I have feelings for him. My eyes were drawn to his figure, which wasn’t in his uniform as usual, but in a classic suit with a deep red shirt. As he approached, I also noticed that he had on a grey waistcoat, the same shade as my dress.

‘Andre you sly wizard.’ I began to blush as I realized that he must have deliberately colour-coordinated our outfits, and couldn’t help the erratic beating of my heart as he walked closer.

He came to a stop in front of Penny and I, widening his eyes when he looked at me. I started to become even more self-conscious under his appraising gaze, and had to mentally stop myself from reaching up and tugging at the loose hair strands brushing my neck.

“Bill! You came by after all.”

“I promised Rowan I would after all.” He smiled. “You look absolutely fantastic by the way.”

I fingered a hair strand as the butterflies came. “Thank you, Andre helped with me with the dress. You looked handsome too.”

“Andre insisted I changed into something nicer. Something about the outfit making the wizard.” He weaved a hand through his fiery hair sheepishly. I wondered if he realized we were basically matching. Penny must have, because as she stood next to us, she kept looking at us back and forth and had a knowing smirk on her face.

“Oh no.” Penny groaned as a flash of pink caught my eye. “What are you doing here?”  

Emily Tyler, that bloody witch, sauntered over in her usual horrendously pink outfit and smug face.

“I came to see if your decoration theme turned out better than mine would have. It didn’t.” She eyed the hall in disdain, making my blood started to boil a little. “But mostly, I was looking for Bill and saw him walk in here.” At that, my blood immediately went from hot to cold.

“Looking for me? Why?” Bill was as confused as we all were.

“To rescue you from these kids so we can spend some time together.”

“Kids?” I didn’t try to hide the sarcasm in my voice. “We’re not that much younger than you, Emily.”

Bill looked back to her, still having this confused and incredulous look on his face. “You want to spend time with me, Emily?”

“Yes, I made a mistake rejecting you, Bill. And I don’t make mistakes often. So let’s get away from this Celestial Ball nonsense you’ve gotten involved in. We can go to Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer. What do you say?” Emily looked at him up and down, definitely realizing how handsome he was.

“I say…” My eyes kept darting between them both, and as I saw Bill mull over the idea, my heart began to sink. Of course he’s going to say yes, how could he not? Emily is gorgeous and feisty and Bill used to have the biggest crush on her. I was wrong to even hope that there was something more between us, he probably said what he said when I was struggling to find a date to encourage me.

I hung my head and bit my lip in anticipation of his sure reply, one which will definitely break my heart.

“Not if you were the last witch on the planet, Emily. You’ve been too rude to my friends and to me.”

Wait…what?

I flung my head up, totally shocked by his reply. And I wasn’t the only one with a wide-open gape.

“If you’ll excuse me, I see Rowan.” He gave us one last satisfying smile, and proceeded to walk briskly to the girl in the blue dress standing by the fireplace. All three of us followed his figure, still surprised by what he said, but this time I had a wide smile on my face.

“Bill would rather spend time with Rowan Khanna than me? Even if I were the last witch on the planet?”

“Wasn’t ‘Planets’ your decorating theme?” I couldn’t help but added. “I much prefer Penny’s stars.”

“I’ll walk you out, Emily. And by the way, nice hair.” Now Penny was the one with the smug look on her face, completely enjoying the event that just happened.

The pink witch was visibly taken aback by our reaction, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. “Now I’m the one not sure if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

After the Emily Tyler debacle, the night went on without a hitch. We enjoyed the food and chatted before going to the dance floor and dancing to the music. Rowan and I danced to some Celestina Warbeck, and our whole group joined together when “Livin’ On A Prayer” came on. Thanks to some of the Muggleborn and Half-blood students lending their several records, we were able to enjoy both Wizard and Muggle music.

After a while, I felt myself breathing hard from dancing and laughing so much, so I decided to retire to the refreshments table, sipping a cup of chilled Butterbeer and munching on mini Cauldron Cakes. I was in the middle of stifling a laugh seeing Ben trying to do the Moonwalk when out of the corner of my eyes I saw Bill walking towards me with a wide smile on his face.

“I never thought dances can be so fun.” He leaned back on the table trying to catch his breath.

“I know, it’s a welcoming change from the usual.” We stood there for a while, simply talking about anything and everything, when I heard the music change into a slow and mellow song. People on the dance floor began pairing up immediately, and after the first few notes I recognized it to be Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross.

“This is my favourite song.” Already I was humming along and tapping my foot silently.

“Oh? Then,” Bill suddenly turned to me, bowing and offering his hand. “Can I have this dance?”

I was motionless for a second before my brain finally caught up. I smiled and took his hand in mine. “I would be delighted.”

We were on the dance floor once more, but this time his hands were circled around my waist while mine wounded together on the back of his neck and we were so close that I was afraid Bill could hear the erratic beating of my heart.

It took a moment for us to learn each other’s rhythms, but once we did we soon found ourselves lost in our own world, a world of starry skies and twinkling lights. This was my first time dancing with Bill, so inevitably I was very nervous, and found myself avoiding his gaze.

“A galleon for your thoughts?” It was his voice that drew me back to the blues of his eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Oh you know, the usual: classes, Cursed Vaults, Emily Tyler.” I might have whispered the last part under my breath, but he heard me nonetheless.

“Emily Tyler?” He raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Well,” I momentarily released one hand from his neck to play with the loose strands of my bun, trying to act nonchalant. “I was just wondering why you turned her down earlier. You used to fancy her a lot.”

“The keywords in that sentence is ‘used to’ Viviane.” He chuckled. “I fancied her once, yes. But ever since I found out her true nature and how she treated people my feelings for her began to fade. Besides,” Bill leaned closer to me, so close that our foreheads were almost touching. “There’s someone else on my mind now.”

I would have choked and died if I had not reminded myself to breathe. Would it be too absurd, too unbelievable, for me to think that he might be referring to me? To think that William Arthur Weasley, the coolest Prefect and skilled dueller of Hogwarts who I’m sure most girls fawn over, fancies Viviane Themis Albion, the troublemaking Curse-Breaker in search of her missing, possibly mad brother?

“Oh?” My throat suddenly became very dry, and I had to swallow several times to try and form coherent words and sentences. “And do I happen to know this person?”

Bill didn’t answer my question immediately, opting to give me a smirk instead, his blue eyes alight as if he enjoys keeping me in the dark. He quickly turned around to scan the room, and once satisfied he raised a hand to stop my fingers from playing with the hair strands, and tucked them behind my ears, making my cheeks heat up.

He leaned down and whispered into my ear. “Why don’t we get out of here and find out?”

The song stopped.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Twenty Two

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

August 13th, 2013

Patton didn’t know why his mom was so upset. All he had done was pointed at a girl and said, “Her skirt is really pretty!” Virgil had agreed softly before making a beeline for the slide at the park, and Patton was going to join him, before he was stopped.

“Patton, honey, you can’t say that sort of thing, all right?” his mom asked.

Patton frowned. “Why not?” he asked. He really liked the girl’s skirt! It had butterflies on it and it swished when she spun in circles and it all-in-all looked pretty cool.

“Because if you say that to the wrong person, they might get angry,” she said. Then, in a whisper, “They might call you gay.”

Patton frowned. “What’s gay? Is it bad?”

His mother shushed him and Patton clamped his mouth shut. “Gay isn’t good, Patton. It’s not bad, but it’s not good. And if people think you’re gay, they might hurt you.”

Patton paled and promised not to comment on dresses or skirts again, and she let him go play with Virgil. But now he was scared. Did wanting to wear the skirt the girl was wearing...make him gay, like his mom worried about?

April 20th, 2019

Patton was jumping up and down, clapping his hands together, practically skipping across the parking lot to the store. Dad and Ami were behind him, as were Virgil and Dee. But he couldn’t settle for even a fast walk at the moment, he was just too happy. Because today...today, he finally, finally got to pick out a skirt to wear.

Last night, he had admitted to Virgil he was a little scared about finally getting to wear a skirt. He said he vaguely remembered Mom not liking whenever he looked at skirts and dresses, even in passing, and how she’d whisper the word “gay” like it was bad and horrible, and that Patton didn’t want to be bad and horrible. But what if he was for wanting to wear a skirt?

Virgil had looked at him in surprise, then said, “You won’t be bad just for wanting to wear a skirt, dummy. You won’t even be bad for being gay.”

“How do you know?” Patton asked him.

“Don’t you know what gay means?” Virgil pressed.

Patton shook his head. “I was too scared to ask Mom, especially if it was something bad.”

“Pat, being gay means liking other guys when you’re a guy, or liking other girls when you’re a girl. That’s what Dad and Ami are. Dad and Ami are gay,” Virgil explained.

“What?” Patton asked, blinking. “That’s it? That’s all being gay is?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “What did you think it was, tax evasion? Something you could go to jail for?”

“Well...yeah, kinda,” Patton had admitted, looking down at the ground.

“I mean, people can get in trouble for being gay, but not where we live,” Virgil asserted. “Being gay isn’t bad. Dad and Ami wouldn’t love you any less if you were or weren’t. And besides...actually, nevermind. That’s not important to this. What is important is that you’re not bad for wanting to wear a skirt, okay?”

“Okay,” Patton had said, and that was that.

Now, they were walking through the parking lot, Patton no longer worried about wearing a skirt, and the second they were inside the store, he ran to the girl’s section to look at all the sundresses and skirts they had to offer. Dad came up behind him, and said, “Ami is taking Virgil and Dee to look at some clothes for them in the summer in the boy’s section, so right now it’s just you and me here.”

Patton nodded. “But you’d let Dee and Virgil pick stuff out over here if they wanted, right?”

“Of course,” Dad said. “Right now, though, you’re the only one who’s said anything.”

Patton nodded. “Virgil wouldn't want to wear skirts, I think. I don't know about Dee, though.”

“Yeah, Dee’s a little unpredictable, isn’t he?” Dad asked. “One minute he’s so quiet you forget he’s there and the next he’s acting like a normal kid, and then the one after he’s climbing on top of the refrigerator and giving Ami a heart attack.”

Patton laughed at that mental image. Dee would totally climb the refrigerator just to see Ami’s face as he did it. When he focused on the skirts, though, he found he had a conundrum; they were all very pretty, and came in pretty colors, and had cute things on them like cats and puppies and flowers and butterflies, but Patton had no idea how to choose! “They all look so pretty,” Patton said, frowning. “How do I pick?”

Dad hummed and crouched down next to Patton, looking the skirts over. “They all do look very cool,” he agreed. “But we can probably narrow down the choices some.”

“How?” Patton asked.

“Well, do you prefer yellow or blue?” Dad asked.

“Blue,” Patton replied without missing a beat.

“Okay, so let’s look at the blue skirts and not worry about the yellow ones,” Dad said, steering Patton in the direction of the blue skirts. “Do you prefer pictures or patterns?”

“Patterns,” Patton said.

“Okay, so we can stop looking at some of the skirts with just one picture on them. That leaves us with a few options. Manageable?” Dad asked.

Patton nodded. His eyes flitted around the different skirts, until he saw one that made him gasp. It was a deep blue, and covered in stars and planets. “That one! I want that one!” he exclaimed, pointing at it. “Logan said he likes space and stuff, and he’s been teaching me about it, and it’s really cool! I wanna wear a space skirt!”

“Okay,” Dad said, laughing and picking a skirt off the rack, holding it up to Patton’s waist. “That should fit you, yeah. The band is elastic, too. Do you want any others?”

Patton’s eyes widened. “I get to pick more than one?!”

“If you want,” Dad encouraged.

Patton turned back to the skirts with a new sense of wonder. “I never got to wear a skirt before, and now I can have two? This is the best day ever!” he breathed.

Dad just smiled and let Patton hum and poke the skirts, taking a closer look at what each of them had to offer. When his eyes lit up as he found a light blue one, covered in polka dots shaped like puppy and kitty heads, he knew he had found the perfect skirt. “This one! I want this one!” he said definitively, pulling it off the rack.

“Okay,” Dad agreed. “Are there any others you really want, or should we look for shirts and pants?”

Patton thought about it. “I just want these,” he said. “But I kinda wanna look at dresses sometime too, you know? Dresses are pretty, and I like being pretty.”

Dad nodded, standing up. “Do you think you just like being pretty, or do you think you like being what people often think girls are?” he asked. “It’s okay if you don’t know the answer, I’m just curious.”

Patton thought. “I don’t think I’m trans,” he said. “At least, I’m not trans in the way Logan is. I wouldn’t wanna change my body to fit what people see girls as. And I don’t think I’d wanna be a girl if I got the choice to choose. But...I dunno. I probably wouldn’t choose to be a boy, either. Why couldn’t I just be Patton? Why would I have to be a boy or a girl?”

Dad shrugged. “You could be nonbinary.”

“Non-what?” Patton asked.

“It’s something some of my clients have said they identify as. So there’s boys and girls, and that’s what’s called the ‘gender binary.’ But some people don’t identify as either, or just choose to not identify at all. And usually those people are somewhere under the ‘nonbinary umbrella,’ which is a fancy way of saying that all these different labels people use are not part of the binary,” Dad explained.

“So...I don’t have to identify as something if I don’t want to?” Patton asked for clarification.

“Nope,” Dad said.

“Then I’m not gonna pick,” Patton said. “Because I just wanna be me. I can say I’m a boy to people, but that’s just...my ‘government assigned gender.’”

Dad smiled at him. “You should talk to Logan about that. He probably knows more about it than I do.”

Patton nodded as they moved to the boys section and nearly crashed into Virgil, Dee, and Ami. “Hey, guys,” Ami said. “Virgil helped pick out some stuff you might like, Patton, so we were about to find you and see if we got the right sizes.”

“Oh, cool!” Patton said. “Did you know that you don’t have to be a boy or a girl if you don’t want to?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool, right?” Ami asked. “Emile told me about it a while ago and it took me ages to understand, but it’s pretty neat!”

“It is!” Patton exclaimed. “So like, I might tell people I’m a boy because it’s easy, but really, I don’t feel like a guy or a girl, and that’s okay!”

“Wait, really?” Virgil asked. “You don’t just...automatically feel like you’re a guy?”

“Nope!” Patton said. “I assumed I was a boy because everyone said I was, but I never felt like one or the other! I was a little confused about Logan at first because of that, actually! Because I knew he felt like he was a boy and not a girl, but I thought he was an exception to not feeling gender, not the rule!”

“Oh!” Virgil exclaimed. “That’s really cool, Pat!”

Patton nodded. “So I’m a boy, I guess, but if I didn’t want to call myself a boy I wouldn’t have to!”

Virgil gave him a grin. “That’s really cool. Is it okay to still call you my brother and use he and him?”

“Sure,” Patton agreed with a shrug. “I’m not picky.”

Virgil nodded. “If you ever change your mind let me know.”

Dee waved his hands and signed, “Me too.”

“Thanks, guys, but I don’t think I’m changing what I want to be called yet,” Patton said with a smile.

They went to the dressing rooms for Patton to try on some of the shirts Virgil had picked out, and the skirts he had chosen as well. All of them were just a little big, but that was okay, because Patton knew he’d grow into them over the course of summer.

When they got back home, Patton immediately changed into his space skirt and went to Logan’s room, knocking on the door. Logan opened it about an inch and quirked an eyebrow.

“I wanna learn more about space,” Patton said simply. “And about being nonbinary.”

Logan’s eyebrows arched. “Since when did you know that word?”

“Since the store when I told Dad I wasn’t picky about being a guy or a girl, and if I had the option to change my gender I would just say I wanna be Patton,” Patton said.

“Huh,” Logan said, opening his door wide. “So you could be agender, or cassgender. Those are the two more obvious choices.”

Patton climbed onto Logan’s bed as he walked over and sat down a foot away. “What are those?” Patton asked.

“Agender is where you don’t have a gender, and cassgender is where you feel like your gender is unimportant, or you don’t care what it is.”

Patton mulled that over for a bit. “It’s not that I don’t have a gender, I don’t think,” he said, looking at Logan. “Because I guess it’s there. I just never felt strongly about what it was. I assumed I was a boy because that’s what everyone said I was. So I nodded along and said I was a boy when asked. But I just...don’t care. I’m me, and that’s all I really care about. So...I guess I’d use cassgender, if I wanted to have a label. Which...I dunno. The whole point is that I don’t care.”

Logan laughed. “Yeah. That’s kinda fitting. Do you want to see the pride flag for cassgender?”

“Sure,” Patton agreed.

Logan pulled it up on his phone and Patton grinned. “I like the blue,” he said.

“Yeah, it does look similar to your favorite shade of blue,” Logan agreed. “I like your skirt.”

“Thanks! I thought of you when I saw it and knew I had to have it!” Patton said with a bright smile.

Logan looked a bit choked up at that and swallowed. “That’s sweet,” he said. “Do you want to learn more about space, now?”

“Yeah!” Patton exclaimed. “We were doing constellations last time, can we do constellations again? Pretty pretty please?”

Logan laughed. “Yeah, sure, we can do constellations. Northern or Southern hemisphere?” he asked.

Patton blinked. “That makes a difference?!” he asked.

Logan nodded. “It also makes a difference depending on what season it is,” he informed Patton. “Do you know why?”

Patton shook his head, eyes wide in wonder as he asked, “Why?”

“Well, you see, the way the Earth is set up is that it spins around the sun, right? And one full spin around the sun is a year. But because there are so many stars in so many different places in the Milky Way alone...”

[ropergillt-blog]

Bad Knees and Over Training

I have been working on fixing my bad form on the jump through, a trick similar to the classic skipping through a vertical loop except this one is done with a smaller loop size and can be mixed in to a butterfly routine. I wrote about it earlier as I was preparing to learn the “Texas” Skip and I noted my tendency to lift the loop up so that I went headfirst through instead of the loop passing directly horizontally around the body. Well, I have corrected my form on that and in doing so I have totally overworked myself and caused injury, hopefully not permanent but I’m not sure yet. 

Photo: Gill T. doing a jump through and wrecking his knees 19 Mar 2019

I came out of a week recently where I had trained too hard on other jumping tricks, spoke hops specifically. So my knees were already partially strained, but I didn’t realize the extent of it. After taking some down time I felt ready for another workout, I was loving the feeling of doing the jump through so on Tuesday I took one of my regular lunchtime getaways to the park near the office and roped for a good hour. I started out on many other tricks but the last half of the workout was all about jump through. I was practicing them repeatedly, working towards the point where it’s solid and I would hardly miss, that’s the goal, performance ready.

It was feeling so good I didn’t want to stop, but the time was requiring me to return to the office. After finishing some work that afternoon I picked up my rope and ran the jump through for another 20 minutes, still feeling pretty good, tired, but good. After dinner I started to feel it, my knees were aching and cracking and popping every time I bent them. It wasn’t a muscle ache but in the joint and the swelling began. These warnings came far too late and as I went to bed that night I knew I wouldn’t be doing that or any other jumping trick any time soon. It’s a very depressing feeling.

I lay there pleading with my maker to give me a healing miracle so that I could once again do these tricks, I was just at the point where I felt ready to show my skills to the world! I found my limit by pushing it and exceeding it in a destructive way, and I hope that now that I know this information I can use it to know how hard I can train before taking a break next time. But if I don’t recover to the point where I am able to do these tricks again then I learned a lesson that I cannot directly apply, which would be just a really terrible thing. I might be over-reacting, I really hope that’s what’s going on here and after a few weeks I’ll be well enough to start working these tricks back in, but at a much more reserved pace. I resolved to wait at least a week before doing any sort of jumping trick and that if I do recover enough to do these tricks again, I will practice it a little here and a little there, never again replicating such an intensive training schedule.

I am 41 years old, and although I usually feel rather fit, I am feeling the unavoidable physical degradation that comes with age. It’s suddenly hitting me hard. I thought that staying vigorously active would be a great thing for my body, but the yellow light didn’t come on soon enough, or I was so wrapped up in the joy of jumping through a spinning loop that I didn’t notice it. I have had some joint issues in the past, and I’ve been aware that it’s a weak spot for me. My first knee issues started around age 13 when I was skateboarding in the emptied out swimming pool in our backyard. I heard a pop followed by acute knee pain, I rested and recuperated for a while and then talked to a doctor about it who said it was probably Osgood Schlatter, an issue common in teenage years. Eventually both knees were similarly afflicted and I was told I would grow out of it, which indeed seemed to happen. I don’t know if that has any connection to my current state but over the years I have had other wrist and ankle issues in addition to frequent popping and crackling noises coming from my knees. It’s never put me down like this though.

Alright, I am being a baby about it, I can still walk right now. I’m avoiding stairs if possible and bending especially my left knee. My left ankle was aching too but not as much. I iced it a few times, last night it was feeling a little better but was still noticeably swollen and I feel like I’m a far ways off from being able to safely jump up and down. It’s just a quite different experience than how I felt 3 days ago, shocking that it can turn around like this without even a specific point in time during training where I felt like I was injured or getting injured. Age is a stealthy killer.

I got video of some of that last practice session, to check to see how my form is coming along. If I can never do it again, at least I’ll have that video proof that I could jump through a loop with the best of them. I can re-watch it as I feel sorry for my old-man-self. Self pity is not becoming, so I will have this day of lament and then I will move on. There are many other roping tricks besides high impact jump throughs, so I can’t throw in the towel that easily. Plus I still have faith that the human body can heal, I’ll be older and wiser for getting through this bump in the road, definitely older.

[theopenmindpalace]

Precipice

(So this is kinda fueled by my own anxiety and it might be triggering but I feel like someone might be helped by reading it, or they may feel that they aren’t alone)

(Because, you are not alone. I promise.) 

“You have no idea what it’s like to be human!” Clara sobbed. “You never been down there, struggling! What do you even have to hate? You’re a joke!”

Morgan bit her lip, stepping back at the accusation. She forced down a vile retort, instead taking a shuddering breath of repressed tears.  

Clara’s face was blotchy red, angry tears running down her face, her nose leaking. She snarled at Morgan, waiting for an answer. For what did the high and mighty immortal have to say about her poor mortal plight? Clara scoffed, turning away and violently wiping her nose.

The two stood in a despondent silence on the roof of a towering building. The wind was taking its share of everything; the hair of the both the girls, Morgan’s skirt and feathers, the fur on Clara’s jacket. The wind was loud enough to filter out the clatter of the city around them, allowing the skyline to be nothing more than a web of yellow lights in the bleached darkness.

Morgan took another breath, filling her lungs with the light. She took three steps, stopping short at empty air, where Clara had been not moments ago. Morgan fiddled with a bit of paper in her fingers, swallowing the lump in her throat to speak.

“I was, human…”

“You- what?” Clara hissed.

“I was… desperately lonely, like you. I felt unclean, lying for the approval of those I relied on. I yearned for physical contact… but could not bear to seek it out. I was… always and entirely, helpless.”

A joyless smile rested on Morgan’s face. Her wings unfolded sightly, just to feel the pressure of the wind against them, a physical force pushing her back from the edge.

“Just like tonight, I stood at the edge of the precipice. Many times, but… I… didn’t… didn’t have wings, then.” Morgan tilted her head towards Clara, her tears getting the better of her.

Clara cautiously stepped closer to Morgan. Her anger had dissipated, but only somewhat.

“You… were human? You expect me to believe that? Then how’d you get like this?” Clara accused, gesturing at Morgan’s wings and antlers.

“I died.” Morgan shrugged.

Clara didn’t flinch, or show any sympathy. She knew where this was going.

“You jumped.”

“No. I didn’t.”

Clara paused. It wasn’t quite the answer she thought was coming, but now she really knew where this was going.

“Oh so what? Cause you found happiness, I’m supposed to just la-di-dah on my way and hope the same thing happens?” Clara’s mouth curled into an ugly snarl, her voice a venom spat into the face of the world. “There are plenty of miserable people! It never got better for them! They just lived and they died and no one gave a fuck! And I’m one of them.”

Morgan sighed, a miserable laugh shaking her shoulders.

“Oh, darling, I was one of them. And now I’m their Queen.” She smoothed out the paper she had been fiddling with, and began to make deft creases as she spoke.

“I’m saying, live for hope. I failed. I died. You haven’t yet. Because, maybe you don’t make it. Maybe you become one of the millions of forgotten. But that’s fine, as long you didn’t forget. If you let every emotion burn into your soul, if you hang on to your ideal and your dream, even both are impossible… Well, even if it’s a tragedy, at least it was a good story.”

Morgan finished folding, and gingerly palmed her creation.

“Let me tell you something. I didn’t regret dying, because I wanted to. But I also didn’t regret living, because I clawed a hole into the world. I made sure to be kind. I made sure to leave my mark on those around me. I gave the comfort I so wanted for myself to the ones who needed it like I did. And when I left the world, it became a little bit colder without me.”

Morgan sighed, scoffing at herself for her own messy thoughts.

With two hands, she reached out toward the city. She held out her creation, a tiny origami butterfly, as if she was presenting it to the starless sky.

“Sorry, I talked too long, didn’t I?” she apologized.

She blew gently on her butterfly, which miraculously had not been snatched by the wind.

The butterfly twitched. Its wings fluttered.

It flitted from Morgan’s fingers, taking flight despite the wind over the city. Clara watched it, the little impossible thing, as it danced against the lights until it was lost among them.

Morgan turned away from the edge. She noticed most of the redness had faded from Clara’s face, that the wind and the cold had dried her tears. Morgan suspected however, that her own face had not calmed so much, as she could still feel the heat of her blood and the fresh tears on her jaw.

Morgan waited for Clara to say… anything. But she didn’t. It wasn’t as though they had come to an understanding, but maybe… maybe there was perspective gained. At the very least, a calmness reached.

“I’m sorry.” Morgan said, shaking her head. She folded in her wings until they were hidden from human eyes, and walked past Clara, heading for the stairs. “I’m sorry. I won’t… say anymore. Except… hatred and anger can be terrible things. But spite is an excellent source of strength.”

With that, Morgan disappeared, the heavy door to the rooftop slamming closed behind her.

Clara stared out over the city, trying to pick out the butterfly astride the lights. She squinted, her eyes dazzled from the strain. 

Accepting that it was well and truly gone, Clara stepped gingerly, peering out over the edge of the rooftop.

The ground below was utterly devoid of life. The wind swirled about all sorts of trash into tornados of white and brown fluttering things. A few cars whizzed past, indifferent to the scene about them.

Clara took a deep, shuddering breath.

And stepped back from the precipice.

“Maybe,” she muttered. “Maybe one more day.”

(by @colorofinsanity)

[throwaway5436854678]

The average TERF experience

Sunday was warm and sunny, just how I always fantasized it would be when I finally went through with it. I stared walking to the dumpster again, I think about 2pm, and I was really excited and nervous. I felt butterflies in my tummy, just anticipating what I was about to do.

The dumpster is in the alley behind a restaurant near my house. It gets emptied on Tuesdays, so by Sunday it's pretty stinky and there are flies buzzing around. Which means there are things rotting inside there and that's just perfect for me. A few times in the past I climbed into that dumpster and masturbated. Nothing too intense. Most I'd ever done was take off my pants and hump against the dirty garbage bags. And one time I laid there with my legs spread, watching the flies land on me.

So anyway, I walked down the alley to the dumpster, and as usual I made sure nobody was around, just to be extra careful. You have to go behind a tall wooden fence to even see the dumpster, and the restaurant is closed on Sunday anyway, so I knew I wouldn't be noticed. But this time there's no way I want to be disturbed. I climbed up and over the side and onto my hands and knees into the mass of plastic garbage bags and other miscellaneous rubbish. The bags felt warm from the sun. The smell in there was extremely foul, much worse than usual, and I knew it was because of my rotting meat. I sat and tried to get myself to relax for a few minutes. There was no reason to hurry. When I was ready, I calmly took off my sandals, my jeans, and my panties. Both pairs. I was wearing two pairs of tight panties with a bunch of my panty liners in the crotch, which keeps anything in my vagina from coming out when I move around. But I was going "all the way" this time, so I went ahead and got completely naked. That was a weird feeling, being totally nude inside the dumpster. It seemed very erotic to me. The sun felt warm on my skin, especially my boobs, which pretty much never see the sun.

I took a pair of rubber kitchen gloves out of my pants pocket and put them on. There was no way I could bring myself to actually touch a maggot with my bare hands. Lying with my back against the side of the dumpster, I fingered my pussy. I was really wet already. I knew I would be. The sensation of the rubber glove against my clit felt unusual, and I kind of liked it. I did that for a little while, just thinking about what I was about to do, while staring at the smaller garbage bag in the far corner of the dumpster where I'd left it yesterday. I still felt the butterflies in my tummy. I kept thinking to myself that I can't wimp out, that I had to go through with this. I wished for a moment that someone else was there to force me to do it, but decided that it was somehow much more sick and depraved to do it to myself willingly. And I thought, yeah, that's me. That's what I want. I deserve this. And so I knew it was time to do it

I got back on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the dumpster. I sat down next to my garbage bag, gently picked it up and placed it in front of me. The terrible smell was already stronger. Carefully, I tore the bag open. And there they were. There had to be thousands of maggots, kind of beige-yellow with little black spots on them, all writhing in a large mass. I couldn't even see the rotting meat underneath them. Dozens more maggots clung to the inside of the black plastic, which was coated with a thick light-brown slime. It was such a repulsive sight I thought I was going to throw up right there. But I didn't. I took a few minutes to get control of myself, fingering my clit while staring at the maggots, trying to work up the courage to continue.

I scooped up some of the slime on my gloved finger and brought it to my nose. I knew what it was from the reading I'd done before. It was digestive juices from the maggots, full of bacteria. And it smelled just horrible. I thought to myself, that's what I'm going to smell like. That's the stench that's going to come from my vagina. I want that, I thought, spreading my legs wide apart. I dragged my slimy finger between my pussy lips. My clit felt like a hard little pebble beneath the slime. I didn't want to cum right then, though, and I was still right on the edge of gagging, too. But I knew there was no turning back now, so I let my fingers lightly touch the top of the maggot mass. The maggots felt like nothing I'd experienced before. They seemed to have such energy, totally different from picking up an earthworm or something. And they felt so alive. I was fascinated and nauseated at the same time. Sinking my fingers into the mass, I felt the solid meat beneath. Gently breaking it apart, I could see that the meat had turned gray except for the very center which was still pink, and that the maggots had penetrated into it but not too deeply yet. There was still plenty of food for my filthy little babies. I broke off a small chunk of meat that was covered on one side with maggots and held it for a moment while I fought back another urge to vomit. It was finally time, I thought. I leaned forward, and holding my pussy lips apart with one hand, I gritted my teeth and pushed the maggot-covered chunk of meat into my vagina. And then, totally without expecting it, I had an orgasm. A quick, sharp one that only made me want more.

And more was coming. I broke off another small chunk of meat, along with another part of the maggot mass and pushed it inside me. This one had more maggots on it, and I stopped for a moment to see if I could feel them inside me. I wasn't sure I could, but it didn't matter. I wanted them all. I needed to take them all inside me. With that thought, I went sort of wild. I started pushing bigger chunks of meat and maggots, and even handfuls of just maggots into me, over and over. I was practically hyperventilating, too. I wasn't thinking at all about the noise I must have been making. But now I could definitely feel the maggots squirming inside my vagina. Just the idea of it made me cum again.

Finally, once I had crammed all of the rotten meat, and all of the maggots I could inside me, I felt so filthy, so disgusting, like I'd turned myself into some low, depraved sort of beast. And that made me so incredibly hot, together with the constant movement of the maggots inside me. But it was time to go. Holding my hand over my crotch, I slowly crawled back to my clothes and managed to get dressed again without anything coming out. I put the gloves back into my pocket and climbed out of the dumpster. And right then I could hold back the revulsion of what I'd just done no longer. Holding myself up against the side of the dumpster, I threw up. Ever vomited while you were horny? It's weird.

Walking home down the alley, I felt like I was in a daze. I kept asking myself how I could have done this to myself, but then asking why I'd waited so long. I had to walk slowly to make sure nothing got squeezed out of my vagina, but also to keep from cumming again. I found myself amazed at the whole thing, that I'd stuffed the most intimate part of myself with these things that were too disgusting to even touch without gloves. And that I was totally getting off on it.

Once I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom, took off my clothes, except for my double-panties, and got into bed. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the maggots squirming inside me. For a while I tried to watch TV, but I could really pay attention to it. The maggots were too wonderfully distracting. I skipped dinner. Later on, when I really had to pee, I did it by taking down my panties and holding my hand over my crotch, wearing the rubber gloves, of course.

The next morning I called off of work after being awake most of the night. I mainly stayed naked in my bed all day masturbating, barely getting up for anything. I wanted to do nothing but let my nauseating little babies grow inside my pussy. Pretty early, though, I realized the smell was getting really horrible. I opened the window. I also wet a bath towel and stuffed it under my bedroom door. I didn't want my parents to get suspicious.

A little later on I realized that I didn't need the panties to hold the maggots and the meat inside me. The mass pretty much stayed in place as long as I laid kind of still. I thought hey, I guess that means I'm infested, which made me cum again. I was always right on the edge of orgasm, and it didn't take much to go over the edge. I also noticed that the maggots seemed to be more active if I kept my legs apart and realized that they probably needed to breathe. So that's how I stayed a lot of the time. I did get up and read my email and posted an update on my web page but I couldn't seem to think clearly enough to write much. Then I had to pee again, but I just didn't want to get up. So I just peed in the bed. It made me cum. I just wanted to keep feeling the maggots moving. And they were. They seemed even stronger, in anything. I was totally in heaven with it. I didn't eat at all, either.

I heard my parents come home from work. During the evening my mom said hello through the door and wondered why I was staying in my room like a hermit. I said I was reading a novel all the way through at once, which I actually do sometimes. She left me alone. I hoped she didn't smell anything. I surfed the Web for a while that night and looked at porn. I came a few more times. I decided to go ahead and take a shit in my bed, right where I was. That just made me more turned on and I ended up smearing some of my shit over my thighs and my pussy and cumming again. I noticed that the maggots started coming out a bit. Maybe they liked the shit. A couple tmes one would creep up on my belly. I'd just flick it back down between my legs.

I was getting tired at that point. It really was time to sleep and my vagina was throbbing and kind of sore from all of the attention. But I was most worried about making sure my maggots could breathe while I was sleeping. Somehow, I managed to find the energy to place a chair on either side of my bed and use sheets to tie my ankles to them. That would keep my legs apart during the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and dozed off lying in my piss and shit.

For the most part I slept through the night, but I kept waking up sweating, with my vagina throbbing worse. I knew I was getting a bad infection from this, but I didn't care. I was not thinking right. I could also feel maggots crawling all over me. I guess I decided I liked that and I'd play with my clit until I came again. I don't know if I realized at the time that I wasn't wearing the rubber gloves anymore. I'd fall back to sleep and wake up again later with little phrases running through my head. Other girls have babies but I give birth to decay and filth, I'd keep thinking to myself. Or I'd say I'm probably ruining my womb and I don't care, I want to be ruined. I know I must have been hallucinating from the infection. I was hoping the maggots had given up on the rotten meat and were eating my vagina instead. My fingers were buried inside my vagina, with my fingertips against part of the meat. Whenever I pressed on it, the maggots would squirm faster and I'd climax again. I could do it over and over and keep cumming.

Finally it was Tuesday morning and sunlight made me wake up. I knew I was really, really sick at that point. I felt weak and dizzy, I knew I had a fever, and now my whole lower belly was sore and throbbing. Despite all that I was still horny and I was still right on the edge of cumming. And then for some reason, all I wanted to do was see my maggots.

I pulled the blankets aside and saw that I really did have maggots crawling all over my body. I was so whacked out I loved it. But I also saw that I had a rash spreading over my tummy and my thighs, and I was soaked with sweat. And then suddenly I needed to see what it looked like between my legs. I sat up a little, picked up the hand mirror I have on the table next to my bed, and held it between my thighs.

My pussy was totally gaped wide open. I'd never seen it like that before. It reminded me of a mouth in a sick, gagging expression. My inner lips were swollen and dark purple, almost black, while my outer lips were cherry red and I was losing a layer of dead skin, like a sunburn. A stream of the light brown slime was oozing from inside my vagina and down my butt crack onto the shitty mattress. Although I could still feel a large mass of maggots and rotten meat inside me, there were maggots everywhere between my legs. Hundreds of them.

And then I saw my fingers on my pussy. They plunged deep into my vagina and dragged out a wad of slime and maggots, which I pressed hard against my clit. I remember having a huge orgasm right then, and I must have passed out. I think I was sobbing too, but I'm not sure.

That's all I remember until I woke up in the hospital.

[mezzanine-sink-blog]

A short Story

Sunday was warm and sunny, just how I always fantasized it would be when I finally went through with it. I stared walking to the dumpster again, I think about 2pm, and I was really excited and nervous. I felt butterflies in my tummy, just anticipating what I was about to do.

   The dumpster is in the alley behind a restaurant near my house. It gets emptied on Tuesdays, so by Sunday it's pretty stinky and there are flies buzzing around. Which means there are things rotting inside there and that's just perfect for me. A few times in the past I climbed into that dumpster and masturbated. Nothing too intense. Most I'd ever done was take off my pants and hump against the dirty garbage bags. And one time I laid there with my legs spread, watching the flies land on me.

   So anyway, I walked down the alley to the dumpster, and as usual I made sure nobody was around, just to be extra careful. You have to go behind a tall wooden fence to even see the dumpster, and the restaurant is closed on Sunday anyway, so I knew I wouldn't be noticed. But this time there's no way I want to be disturbed. I climbed up and over the side and onto my hands and knees into the mass of plastic garbage bags and other miscellaneous rubbish. The bags felt warm from the sun. The smell in there was extremely foul, much worse than usual, and I knew it was because of my rotting meat. I sat and tried to get myself to relax for a few minutes. There was no reason to hurry. When I was ready, I calmly took off my sandals, my jeans, and my panties. Both pairs. I was wearing two pairs of tight panties with a bunch of my panty liners in the crotch, which keeps anything in my vagina from coming out when I move around. But I was going "all the way" this time, so I went ahead and got completely naked. That was a weird feeling, being totally nude inside the dumpster. It seemed very erotic to me. The sun felt warm on my skin, especially my boobs, which pretty much never see the sun.

   I took a pair of rubber kitchen gloves out of my pants pocket and put them on. There was no way I could bring myself to actually touch a maggot with my bare hands. Lying with my back against the side of the dumpster, I fingered my pussy. I was really wet already. I knew I would be. The sensation of the rubber glove against my clit felt unusual, and I kind of liked it. I did that for a little while, just thinking about what I was about to do, while staring at the smaller garbage bag in the far corner of the dumpster where I'd left it yesterday. I still felt the butterflies in my tummy. I kept thinking to myself that I can't wimp out, that I had to go through with this. I wished for a moment that someone else was there to force me to do it, but decided that it was somehow much more sick and depraved to do it to myself willingly. And I thought, yeah, that's me. That's what I want. I deserve this. And so I knew it was time to do it

   I got back on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the dumpster. I sat down next to my garbage bag, gently picked it up and placed it in front of me. The terrible smell was already stronger. Carefully, I tore the bag open. And there they were. There had to be thousands of maggots, kind of beige-yellow with little black spots on them, all writhing in a large mass. I couldn't even see the rotting meat underneath them. Dozens more maggots clung to the inside of the black plastic, which was coated with a thick light-brown slime. It was such a repulsive sight I thought I was going to throw up right there. But I didn't. I took a few minutes to get control of myself, fingering my clit while staring at the maggots, trying to work up the courage to continue.

   I scooped up some of the slime on my gloved finger and brought it to my nose. I knew what it was from the reading I'd done before. It was digestive juices from the maggots, full of bacteria. And it smelled just horrible. I thought to myself, that's what I'm going to smell like. That's the stench that's going to come from my vagina. I want that, I thought, spreading my legs wide apart. I dragged my slimy finger between my pussy lips. My clit felt like a hard little pebble beneath the slime. I didn't want to cum right then, though, and I was still right on the edge of gagging, too. But I knew there was no turning back now, so I let my fingers lightly touch the top of the maggot mass. The maggots felt like nothing I'd experienced before. They seemed to have such energy, totally different from picking up an earthworm or something. And they felt so alive. I was fascinated and nauseated at the same time. Sinking my fingers into the mass, I felt the solid meat beneath. Gently breaking it apart, I could see that the meat had turned gray except for the very center which was still pink, and that the maggots had penetrated into it but not too deeply yet. There was still plenty of food for my filthy little babies. I broke off a small chunk of meat that was covered on one side with maggots and held it for a moment while I fought back another urge to vomit. It was finally time, I thought. I leaned forward, and holding my pussy lips apart with one hand, I gritted my teeth and pushed the maggot-covered chunk of meat into my vagina. And then, totally without expecting it, I had an orgasm. A quick, sharp one that only made me want more.

   And more was coming. I broke off another small chunk of meat, along with another part of the maggot mass and pushed it inside me. This one had more maggots on it, and I stopped for a moment to see if I could feel them inside me. I wasn't sure I could, but it didn't matter. I wanted them all. I needed to take them all inside me. With that thought, I went sort of wild. I started pushing bigger chunks of meat and maggots, and even handfuls of just maggots into me, over and over. I was practically hyperventilating, too. I wasn't thinking at all about the noise I must have been making. But now I could definitely feel the maggots squirming inside my vagina. Just the idea of it made me cum again.

   Finally, once I had crammed all of the rotten meat, and all of the maggots I could inside me, I felt so filthy, so disgusting, like I'd turned myself into some low, depraved sort of beast. And that made me so incredibly hot, together with the constant movement of the maggots inside me. But it was time to go. Holding my hand over my crotch, I slowly crawled back to my clothes and managed to get dressed again without anything coming out. I put the gloves back into my pocket and climbed out of the dumpster. And right then I could hold back the revulsion of what I'd just done no longer. Holding myself up against the side of the dumpster, I threw up. Ever vomited while you were horny? It's weird.

   Walking home down the alley, I felt like I was in a daze. I kept asking myself how I could have done this to myself, but then asking why I'd waited so long. I had to walk slowly to make sure nothing got squeezed out of my vagina, but also to keep from cumming again. I found myself amazed at the whole thing, that I'd stuffed the most intimate part of myself with these things that were too disgusting to even touch without gloves. And that I was totally getting off on it.

   Once I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom, took off my clothes, except for my double-panties, and got into bed. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the maggots squirming inside me. For a while I tried to watch TV, but I could really pay attention to it. The maggots were too wonderfully distracting. I skipped dinner. Later on, when I really had to pee, I did it by taking down my panties and holding my hand over my crotch, wearing the rubber gloves, of course.

   The next morning I called off of work after being awake most of the night. I mainly stayed naked in my bed all day masturbating, barely getting up for anything. I wanted to do nothing but let my nauseating little babies grow inside my pussy. Pretty early, though, I realized the smell was getting really horrible. I opened the window. I also wet a bath towel and stuffed it under my bedroom door. I didn't want my parents to get suspicious.

   A little later on I realized that I didn't need the panties to hold the maggots and the meat inside me. The mass pretty much stayed in place as long as I laid kind of still. I thought hey, I guess that means I'm infested, which made me cum again. I was always right on the edge of orgasm, and it didn't take much to go over the edge. I also noticed that the maggots seemed to be more active if I kept my legs apart and realized that they probably needed to breathe. So that's how I stayed a lot of the time. I did get up and read my email and posted an update on my web page but I couldn't seem to think clearly enough to write much. Then I had to pee again, but I just didn't want to get up. So I just peed in the bed. It made me cum. I just wanted to keep feeling the maggots moving. And they were. They seemed even stronger, in anything. I was totally in heaven with it. I didn't eat at all, either.

   I heard my parents come home from work. During the evening my mom said hello through the door and wondered why I was staying in my room like a hermit. I said I was reading a novel all the way through at once, which I actually do sometimes. She left me alone. I hoped she didn't smell anything. I surfed the Web for a while that night and looked at porn. I came a few more times. I decided to go ahead and take a shit in my bed, right where I was. That just made me more turned on and I ended up smearing some of my shit over my thighs and my pussy and cumming again. I noticed that the maggots started coming out a bit. Maybe they liked the shit. A couple tmes one would creep up on my belly. I'd just flick it back down between my legs.

   I was getting tired at that point. It really was time to sleep and my vagina was throbbing and kind of sore from all of the attention. But I was most worried about making sure my maggots could breathe while I was sleeping. Somehow, I managed to find the energy to place a chair on either side of my bed and use sheets to tie my ankles to them. That would keep my legs apart during the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and dozed off lying in my piss and shit.

   For the most part I slept through the night, but I kept waking up sweating, with my vagina throbbing worse. I knew I was getting a bad infection from this, but I didn't care. I was not thinking right. I could also feel maggots crawling all over me. I guess I decided I liked that and I'd play with my clit until I came again. I don't know if I realized at the time that I wasn't wearing the rubber gloves anymore. I'd fall back to sleep and wake up again later with little phrases running through my head.

   Other girls have babies but I give birth to decay and filth, I'd keep thinking to myself. Or I'd say I'm probably ruining my womb and I don't care, I want to be ruined. I know I must have been hallucinating from the infection. I was hoping the maggots had given up on the rotten meat and were eating my vagina instead. My fingers were buried inside my vagina, with my fingertips against part of the meat. Whenever I pressed on it, the maggots would squirm faster and I'd climax again. I could do it over and over and keep cumming.

   Finally it was Tuesday morning and sunlight made me wake up. I knew I was really, really sick at that point. I felt weak and dizzy, I knew I had a fever, and now my whole lower belly was sore and throbbing. Despite all that I was still horny and I was still right on the edge of cumming. And then for some reason, all I wanted to do was see my maggots.

   I pulled the blankets aside and saw that I really did have maggots crawling all over my body. I was so whacked out I loved it. But I also saw that I had a rash spreading over my tummy and my thighs, and I was soaked with sweat. And then suddenly I needed to see what it looked like between my legs. I sat up a little, picked up the hand mirror I have on the table next to my bed, and held it between my thighs.

   My pussy was totally gaped wide open. I'd never seen it like that before. It reminded me of a mouth in a sick, gagging expression. My inner lips were swollen and dark purple, almost black, while my outer lips were cherry red and I was losing a layer of dead skin, like a sunburn. A stream of the light brown slime was oozing from inside my vagina and down my butt crack onto the shitty mattress. Although I could still feel a large mass of maggots and rotten meat inside me, there were maggots everywhere between my legs. Hundreds of them.