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guess who hit the big 3-0? it's me!!
#i forgot tumblr has titles on posts#anyway i turn thirty today!!#hoping this decade is kinder to me tbh#a woman came up to me out of nowhere yesterday and said Jesus loves you and idk it felt symbolic#genuinely a nice gesture!#this is a queued post btw I don’t know how much work I have to do on my birthday
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I spent the evening looking into this AI shit and made a wee informative post of the information I found and thought all artists would be interested and maybe help yall?
edit: forgot to mention Glaze and Nightshade to alter/disrupt AI from taking your work into their machines. You can use these and post and it will apparently mess up the AI and it wont take your content into it's machine!
edit: ArtStation is not AI free! So make sure to read that when signing up if you do! (this post is also on twt)
[Image descriptions: A series of infographics titled: “Opt Out AI: [Social Media] and what I found.” The title image shows a drawing of a person holding up a stack of papers where the first says, ‘Terms of Service’ and the rest have logos for various social media sites and are falling onto the floor. Long transcriptions follow.
Instagram/Meta (I have to assume Facebook).
Hard for all users to locate the “opt out” options. The option has been known to move locations.
You have to click the opt out link to submit a request to opt out of the AI scraping. *You have to submit screenshots of your work/face/content you posted to the app, is curretnly being used in AI. If you do not have this, they will deny you.
Users are saying after being rejected, are being “meta blocked”
People’s requests are being accepted but they still have doubts that their content won’t be taken anyways.
Twitter/X
As of August 2023, Twitter’s ToS update:
“Twitter has the right to use any content that users post on its platform to train its AI models, and that users grant Twitter a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free license to do so.”
There isn’t much to say. They’re doing the same thing Instagram is doing (to my understanding) and we can’t even opt out.
Tumblr
They also take your data and content and sell it to AI models.
But you’re in luck!
It is very simply to opt out (Wow. Thank Gods)
Opt out on Desktop: click on your blog > blog settings > scroll til you see visibility options and it’ll be the last option to toggle
Out out of Mobile: click your blog > scroll then click visibility > toggle opt out option
TikTok
I took time skim their ToS and under “How We Use Your Information” and towards the end of the long list: “To train and improve our technology, such as our machine learning models and algorithms.”
Regarding data collected; they will only not sell your data when “where restricted by applicable law”. That is not many countries. You can refuse/disable some cookies by going into settings > ads > turn off targeted ads.
I couldn’t find much in AI besides “our machine learning models” which I think is the same thing.
What to do?
In this age of the internet, it’s scary! But you have options and can pick which are best for you!
Accepting these platforms collection of not only your artwork, but your face! And not only your faces but the faces of those in your photos. Your friends and family. Some of those family members are children! Some of those faces are minors! I shudder to think what darker purposes those faces could be used for.
Opt out where you can! Be mindful and know the content you are posting is at risk of being loaded to AI if unable to opt out.
Fully delete (not archive) your content/accounts with these platforms. I know it takes up to 90 days for instagram to “delete” your information. And even keep it for “legal” purposes like legal prevention.
Use lesser known social media platforms! Some examples are; Signal, Mastodon, Diaspora, et. As well as art platforms: Artfol, Cara, ArtStation, etc.
The last drawing shows the same person as the title saying, ‘I am, by no means, a ToS autistic! So feel free to share any relatable information to these topics via reply or qrt!
I just wanted to share the information I found while searching for my own answers cause I’m sure people have the same questions as me.’ \End description] (thank you @a-captions-blog!)
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HABITS [ curly / reader ]
when it comes to picking coworkers, curly isn’t the most dependable. but.. the same could be said about keeping his feelings in check.
tags / ex - friends with benefits to lovers(?) | bittersweet | oral sex ( fem. receiving ) | slight praise kink | porn without plot | canon-divergence | chubby coded reader | curly isn’t 100% accurate & i am sorry this is my first time writing for him | curly is lowkey a liar but it’s okay | curly is big ( based off fanart mostly but also game ) | pet names | etc. if i forgot something please alert me.
notes / it has been like.. months since i last posted on tumblr. but i am slowly getting my spark back. this has also been cross posted on archive so if you see it there do not be alarmed. my writing is rusty, so please be nice with criticisms i’m quite sensitive 😭 but please do enjoy <3
“You look like shit.” You murmured softly, eyes carrying up the man’s form. You hadn’t expected anyone to be awake at this hour, let alone outside of their quarters. But whether to your dismay or pleasure someone had joined your little excursion, that someone being your beloved Captain; Curly.
Who looked to be teetering between the land of the dead and living. Bags lined those pretty eyes, a little red— surely from strain. When was the last time he got enough sleep? Was a thought that quickly passed your mind. Regardless you decided against asking, seeing as you were positive he wouldn’t have an answer for you anyway.
The Captain— Curly, allowed the corner of his mouth to lift; a humorous sigh escaping him. “Do I? Hadn’t noticed..”
“And here I thought Mr. Handsome prided himself on his vanity and dignity.”
The man shook his head at your usual flirty remarks, glancing about your own form. He took in the makeshift wrap of blankets you held around your pajama-clad body, noticing your feet covered in slippers. Not the proper attire obviously, but reprimanding you just didn’t seem worth it at the moment.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
You shrugged, eyes shifting away to glance at a wall. “More like didn’t want to. With so much work to be done I rarely get any time to my thoughts.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.”
“For you.. maybe. I quite enjoy my mind.”
You smiled at the soft chuckle that escaped him, taking the moment to move just a bit closer. Again, your eyes landed upon those dreaded bags; hand rising slowly to his face. You watched as his eyes focused quite quickly, clearly puzzled by your sudden attention. Regardless he didn’t move, instead allowing your palm to press against his cheek— your thumb then moving to trace a bag.
“I’m serious though. It looks like you haven’t gotten sleep in days. Is something wrong?”
A flicker.. just a slight glint, drifted through his gaze. An emotion you couldn’t quite place but didn’t like regardless. You stood silently, watching as his hand rose before your own. Gentle fingers wrapped around your wrist, dragging your hand down his cheek — the abrasion of his facial hair tickling your palm — before pulling it away from him.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about [Name].”
Curly spoke, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. But you knew him. All, too, well. The man could hold water but there were times it spilled over just a little. Even if he didn’t explicitly say it, you knew his concern was something big— something that definitely affected you.
“Captain stuff, huh?” You said slowly, hand pulling away from his own in a dejected fashion. You couldn’t help but feel that way, eyes drifting away almost stubbornly.
“I thought our relationship was above such titles.”
“[Name]—“
You shook your head, Curly clamming up in response. Times like these were exactly why you regretted taking the man up on his offer. The promise of lines not being crossed was a discussion made in the same breath, yet here you were; questioning why exactly your past relations meant little to his decision to be secretive.
But it was just relations.. right? Just sex, a way to blow off steam. People that sleep together with no love shouldn’t act like this anyway.
Your eyes finally lifted from its stubborn gaze on the wall and back to the blonde before you, attempting to seem unfazed by the intense stare he was delivering you.
You forced a smile. “I’m just messing with you, Captain. Lighten up a bit.”
Curly continued to stare before coming close, a single footstep that pressed against the metal beneath the two of you. You nearly forgot how large the male was; broad and tall, staring down at you with those bag lined.. beautiful eyes. He reached over, fingers ghosting the back of your hand for a moment before grabbing it.
This caused you to shiver, eyes widening slowly as you watched the man bring it back to its previous place; right at his cheek. He used his own appendage to assure you cupped his face.
“I know you well enough to know when you’re joking or not, [Name].” Curly spoke lowly, eyes flickering between multiple spots on your face. “Right now.. I don’t want to worry you. It’s something I’ll figure out, but I will let you know soon.. I promise.”
That’s what you hated most about Curly. Even if you were clearly worried about him, he just loved to spin it so he could worry about you. All while easing such worries with the prettiest words. a master of the tongue. In more ways than one.
The flush of warmth that broached your cheeks was hard to ignore, eyes fluttering to the ground as his gaze grew intense. You allowed your thumb to trace his skin, teeth grazing the inside of your cheek. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let such thoughts or feelings resurface. Strictly professional was your own personal mantra.
Yet here you were, holding the cheek of the man you’ve been pining for— desperately wanting to touch more.
And that you did.
Against better judgement, head clear of thinking— you pressed forward, allowing your lips to brush against his own. You felt his breath stutter, body growing still at your bold action. This allowed your eyes to rise, batting thick eyelashes at the man as you spoke:
“Then.. until then, why don’t I take your mind off of it?”
You solidified your words in a single kiss, free hand clutching your blanket that threatened to slip. You felt the hand on your own slowly fall, clearly from shock. You couldn’t blame him. This was going against everything the two of you decided on. Everything the two of you have built since being onboard of this ship.
Even so, you didn’t mind destroying it— nor did your beloved captain.
Large hands slid under your blanket, finding the small of your back. With a pull you were flush against his form, the kiss deepening. Soft lips collided in a gentle battle, that slowly became fierce as time passed. Feelings buried deep began to bubble over, creating that haze that left you breathless. You could only moan as his tongue slid across your lips, effectively parting them. There, Curly took his time to claim your mouth as his once again, coating each and every inch with his saliva.
Your hand slid from his cheek to a large shoulder, gripping him so tightly as your knees began to buckle. Any longer and you were sure you would topple over right then and there.
Desperate for air Curly reluctantly pulled away, staring at that little string that connected the two of you. Heavy breaths escaped you, causing the want developing deep in his stomach to just burn even more. His eyes lifted away from you for a moment, an inner turmoil playing behind his eyes.
He was the Captain. He didn’t have time to play hooky and hook up with an old fling. Curly had duties.. responsibilities and expectations. And yet, as his flicked back to your form; so wanton and palpable— any thought of being the revered Captain of Tulpar escaped quite quickly.
Leaving behind Curly. A man who couldn’t quite help his desires. And a man who wasn’t the best at picking his coworkers.
“Come here.” Curly spoke softly, tugging you close before leaning; slipping his hands under your legs and lifting you easily.
The butterflies in your stomach tumbled and tumbled, threatening to spill from your mouth the moment he stepped towards his room. Effortlessly, as if your body meant completely nothing. Oh how you loved whenever he showed off his strength.
The door slid open routinely, revealing the simple quarters. A bed, desk, and dresser— surely filled with underwear and extra uniforms. The air was cool, perfect yet you couldn’t help but shiver the moment the man laid you across his sheets. A breath caught in your throat as he climbed over you, a hulking mass covering your line of vision only allowing you to see him.
Curly’s hands pressed against the mattress beneath you, leaning down to steal your lips once again. His light beard brushed against your skin, a feeling that caused you to chuckle, a feeling you missed.. feeling. Your hands rose, collecting his face into your palms as you deepened the kiss. Soft smacks of passion passed throughout the room as lips tangled in a secret conversation.
A hand rose from the mattress, treading down your plump form to find the edge of your shirt. His fingers, ever so gentle, slid under the fabric to spread across the span of your warm stomach. You sighed into his mouth, reeling into his touch as it grew higher and higher— soon skimming the bottom of your breasts.
“Curly..don’t tease.” You pulled back to speak, eyes focused on his features. You couldn’t help the pulse between your thighs the moment an impish smile crossed his features.
“I’m not, just.. remembering.”
With his soft murmur Curly was lifting your shirt off your body, placing it somewhere on the bed. Lowering, his breath fanned across your warm skin, gentle kisses pressing against your neck.
You hissed, eyes pinching closed, as your hands lowered to grasp his arms. Your lips parted as a large hand soon covered one of your breasts, gently squeezing whilst his thumb brushed against your hardening nipple.
As much as you wished to beg for more you knew better than to do so. Curly wasn’t a person that rushed when it came to these things. He enjoyed taking his time, building your pleasure bit by bit so when the main event happened you were completely lost in ecstasy. And as annoying as it was to admit, you couldn’t help but love his attention to detail.
The kisses lowered to the valley of your chest, tongue gliding across the hot skin, sliding to your untouched nipple. The man mumbled against your flesh, licking and sucking; delivering such sweet attention you couldn’t help the bated breaths beginning to form.
Should you be worried? The others weren’t close but weren’t far. And you highly doubt any of them would want to be waken by your less than professional “activities”.
Unfortunately, as Curly’s other hand traveled low concern for their sleep slowly drifted away.
You whimpered softly as his hand breached your pants and panties, fingers gliding across your slick slit for a moment before using two to spread you gently. Fuck.. was the simple sigh that escaped you as his middle finger easily found your swelling bud, rubbing it into slow circles.
“Fu..fuck Curly, I’m supposed to be taking your mind off work.”
Curly lifted from your breast, nipple red and slick from his constant attention. “Oh don’t worry, you are.” The man confirmed, allowing a finger to slide lower— pressing against your entrance. With ease it was slipping in, velvety walls swallowing the thick digit greedily.
“Now all I can think about is you, your body, your reactions.. how much I missed when you’d…—“ As another finger of his slid in, the Captain curled them ever so slightly, watching intently as your lips parted wider, a breathy moan escaping your throat.
“— did that.”
His lips curled, clearly delighted. Would it be cocky to admit he loved the way you didn’t change? How he still remembered every single button to press? It was if.. you were made perfectly, just for him.
That, or Curly ruined you for every other man.
The man released your breast for a moment to tug your bottoms down, allowing him to watch his fingers appear and disappear into your wet snatch. Soft plaps escaped from between your pretty thighs, arousal trickling down his appendages and surely to your taint.
His mouth couldn’t help but water, and without thinking the man was lowering closer. Curly’s lips parted above your cunt, breath fanning across the wet heat for a moment before covering your sweet little bud. His free hand quickly came to rest on your lower stomach, only to then decide to hold you down with his forearm.
There; unable to move, his lips sucked your swollen clit, beard brushing across you so deliciously.
A swear dropped from your lips, hands flying to your mouth to cover more sounds that threatened to spill. Your legs fluttered, a warmth brewing deep in your tummy— one you haven’t felt in months. Sure, when you could you rubbed one out — unfortunately without your beloved vibrator that hadn’t made it on Tulpar with you — but this was different. A feeling you couldn’t quite replicate with your own fingers or imagination.
His fingers were just so much longer, bigger; filling and stretching you perfectly. Pushing against your warm walls, curling to press against spots you couldn’t achieve. And even as your clit began to sting at the sensitivity, the pleasure was far more overwhelming.
Tears sprung at your eyes and through a glossy gaze you were taking Curly in. His own eyes were closed, heated breaths and groans fanning against your cunt as he devoured you effortlessly. Such a fucking messy eater. And you loved it.
As the pleasure brewed, forming into a band bound to snap you allowed a hand to lower to his hair, fluffy blonde locks sliding through the gaps of your fingers as you clung to him. Your legs shook, body arching off the bed as your other hand held your mouth so harshly you were sure there were scratches on your cheek.
“Fuck..!” Slammed against your palm in a muffled cry, body clenching as you came undone. You heard an all too familiar groan of pure delight as Curly gently lapped you up, withdrawing his fingers but refusing to remove his arm.
Whimpers of overstimulation did nothing to him, the man continuing to clean you up until he was satisfied. And when he finally was, he rose, the bottom half of his face coated with your mess.
Your hand lowered from your mouth, soft pants escaping. “I hate you.”
“Do you?” Curly was quick to answer, moving his arm to instead grasp your thighs. He lifted you a bit, pulling your bottom closer to him. Once you nodded the man chuckled, thumbs gliding across the marks that were painted across your hips.
“I don’t believe that. Not one bit.”
You opened your mouth to retaliate, but was left silently searching for snarky banter as you watched the captain’s hands move towards his slacks. There, his thumbs caught the waist band of his bottoms, tugging them down to reveal that sharp v-line and much more. Curly was a large man, everywhere. His length was thick, a round tip— bulging red with an angry vein traveling down his pale shaft.
You wondered if a pillow would be better than your hands at this point.
“Thought you were gonna say something..”
Curly teased, pulling his bottoms down the rest of the way and tossing them with your pile of clothes. He could only chuckle as you shook your head, crawling over your form to hover a breath’s away from you.
“Good.”
The man was smart to capture your lips as the moment you felt his length prod and push, you couldn’t help the little cry escaping you— perfectly muffled by his own mouth.
The stretch burned, burned so damn good you could have came again just from that. Curly was a gentleman of course, pushing in slowly, allowing you to grow accustomed to his size after so many months.
About halfway you were pulling away from his lips, head pressed against the pillow beneath you as sharp pants escaped you. Curly’s hand brushed your hip whilst the other cradled your face.
“That’s good.. breathe, you can take it all— can’t you?” His voice was sweet, soothing as his hips continued to push— plunging deep inside of you.
Your eyes were struggling to stay open, pretty groans falling from your tongue, easing into a sigh the moment you felt his hips stop; now fully seated within you. The feeling was mildly uncomfortable, even with his loving preparation, but you could make do.
You have before.
Curly leaned down, pressing his lips to your face, peppering them across his skin. Your forehead, under your eye, your nose, lips, and chin— everywhere he could reach. Attempting to soothe you even more.
Your hands rose gliding under his shirt to instead press against his broad, muscular back. Your finger tips traced little shapes across his skin, soon curling to allow your nails to scrape the moment he moved his hips.
Curly began to pull them back slowly, allowing only the tip inside before pushing forward. A single motion that caused the both of you to shudder, pleasure quickly brewing once more.
Soon enough with little restraint, Curly started a gentle pace. Back and forth, a hand on your waist whilst the other kept him upright. His length pressed into you deeply, pushing against a spongy spot that caused stars to invade your vision.
Your eyes were screwed shut, mouth lax as whimpers of passion escaped you sharply. Your nails dug and dragged into his back, an ache forming in your hips as his simple thrust became drills.
Curly couldn’t help himself at this point. He’s been holding back for far too long. Every interaction, every playful banter, every secret exchange of the eyes— played within in his mind. The man was smart enough to acknowledge how stupid he was. Playing with yours and his feelings, pretending your past didn’t matter; that coworkers were a status that you could achieve.
But no. He was fooling himself. There’s no way in hell, especially after this, was the man going to be able to go back to just being coworkers.
“Curly.. fuck, fuck— they’re gonna hear—!” You cried, legs shaky and wrapped tight around his waist. In the midst of his haze had suddenly increased his speed, ferocity; placing nearly his entire weight behind each thrust. Your eyes were rolling back at this point, nearly lost to the pleasure if it wasn’t for the sudden banging of the bed against the wall.
That fear of being discovered nearly killed your high.
Fortunately, Curly heeded your concerns, his hand lifting from the bed to instead grip the metal railing. You nearly gushed on the spot, watching his eyebrows pressed close, focusing so intently on your pleasure. His grip on your hip nearly mirrored the bed, refusing to release you. Every thrust you took, pushing you deep into the mattress as your breath threatened to leave.
“Mi..missed you.. I missed you so much.” Curly huffed, pants escaping his open mouth as his thrusts never faltered. The wet sounds of skin on skin filled the room, a steady rhythm to accompany his thrusts.
You tugged him closer by his back, shoving your face into his neck with your mouth directly against his ear. You wished to reply, expressing you felt the same exact way— even more. But of course you were left to only moan and gasp, his name coming out in struggled cries that only stirred him up even more.
Moments of your intense passion continued until your peaks grew closer, the two of you struggling even harder to keep your voices level. Maybe you two truly didn’t give a damn who heard.
“Curly!—“ His lips were colliding with yours in moments, sealing the deal as you came undone for the second time that night. You gushed around him, coating his dick with your thick essence— trickling to his sheets.
The man, releasing a final groan right into your mouth, pushing deep; releasing inside of you. Filling you to the brim.
The captain’s hips slowly settled, yet his lips continued to cover your own; moving slowly and lovingly. Curly released the bed frame to instead cup your face, cool fingers an ease to your hot skin.
Soon enough the two of you pulled away, a soft groan escaping you as the man slowly slid out of you. You tried to ignore the rather unpleasant feeling of his release slowly trickling out of you, instead focusing on the man above you— who was currently smiling.
Your swollen lips flattened into a pout, hands rising from his back to instead rising to his face.
“Don’t smile at me, Captain.”
Curly chuckled, hands sliding under you to lift whilst he sat up. Pulling you onto his lap, the man cradled your waist, thumbs brushing across your skin.
“It’s habit at this point, my love.”
You couldn’t help your own smile, arms wrapping around his neck, leaning to give him a small peck.
“Mhm..” You only hummed, eyes closing in a blissful manner as his forehead pressed against your own.
“No matter what, I’ll always be here to support. You know that, right?”
“I know, [Name]. I know.”
#black fanfic writer#black fanfiction#black tumblr#black!reader#x reader#black reader#chubby reader#poc writer#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#curly x reader#curly x reader smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#curly x you#curly x you smut
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FLYING TO THE MOON...
updated: 01.28.25
— woah, moon is finally posting on shiftblr? to be honest i forgot how tumblr works anyway so bear with me while i probably post, delete, rinse and repeat trying to find my style.
i'm twenty-four (yikes), black and have been shifting since circa 2019/20. i can't remember to be honest. you may or may not know me as moonsdrs formerly kenobishifts back in my prime on shifttok. i like anything cowboys and military (unfortunately) and self-taught myself korean for the past nine years. and—
(moon, you're yapping and we're getting bored) okay, i'm sorry! i'll get onto the actual cool shit you're actually here for.
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INTO MOON'S MAIN MULTIVERSE...
✶ 1960s FAME DR. (main) — mary-lynn hendrix is a mo-town pop sensation who rose up the billboard between the mid-60s to early 80s. her musical prowess and soulful voice inspired many up and coming artists in their own productions under her detailed mentorship especially in the mid-70s with artists such as the jackson 5 and more! (s/o. m. nesmith)
✶ LAW & ORDER DR. — dr. alexandria anderson is one of the newest detectives in baltimore's homicide unit. while alex manages to prove herself as a strong asset to the team she has the opposite success in her love and personal life as a newly divorced woman. (s/o. j. munch)
✶ CHALLENGERS DR. — london dunn is an american tennis player who has reached career-high rankings of world no. 1 in singles and number 2 in doubles. she has won 11 singles titles, including in the 2008 us open and 2012 wta finals and 11 doubles titles including the 2006 us open. her career is linked to that of former tennis player, tashi duncan, who served as her doubles partner in her 2006 us open win. (s/o. p. zweig, a. donaldson, t. duncan)
other drs i'll introduce later!
— cm x bones dr (s/o. l. sweets), marvel legacy dr (s/os. o. monroe and logan), 2000s fame dr (s/o. j. chasez), timebomb au! arcane dr (s/o. vander), nepo fame dr (s/o. j. quaid), the boys dr (s/o. h. campbell), 9-1-1 dr (s/o. r. panikkar), final fantasy xiv dr (s/o. i. scientia), etc
- pinterest | - multiverse masterlist
#reality shifting#shifting blog#desired reality#black shifters#shifting community#shiftblr#reality shifter#law and order dr#fame dr#shifting motivation#anti shifters dni#moonsdrs
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Oh boy, I forgot to post about it here!
IT IS TIME! Welcome to Lemuria, an alternate timeline for our planet, with a focus on the title giving landmass Lemuria. Lemuria is what happens when Madagascar and India never separate. This has massive ramifications for all of history which is why we are starting in the Cretaceous, not that long after the divergence point. This phase will not look too different from what you are used to, but as we are going through the ages the fauna of this place will get more and more bizarre. We are still in the process of figuring everything out! But for now I hope you all enjoy this first phase of Lemuria!
Rules Please note that submitting an entry does not guarantee that it will be canonised or drawn. Some species might not be included in the murals but will be canonised later, potentially giving rise to new taxa in the next phase.
Maximum of 60 entries, five species per entry. Please only use clades from the provided lists. Entries should be submitted on Discord in the #event-submissions channel or on Twitter, DeviantArt, Tumblr or Facebook under #LemuriaChallenge. Entries must be in a human-made visual medium (NO AI, we will disqualify you). When working with traditional media make sure you get a scan or a good photo of the piece if possible, we want to be able to see what you worked on! Please follow the posting guide when submitting entries: Besides the image, it is best to include a description of the species you show. It’s best to keep it short and to have it on the image or as a separate image, but make sure to always put the description in the discord message. That way we can easily find your work while browsing the entries in our folder or #event-submissions.
Descriptions should look like this: -Species name -Creator -Clade -Habitat -Size (please use the metric system like civilized people) -Ecology -Additional information if needed/wanted
Learn more from our google folder: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vr2wqR05qiW13VxomeFqDDEhOAwySywG?usp=sharing
map by @petitepaleoartist
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Pen pal
Geto x fem!reader
College AU
Word count: 12,6K
Summary: After your meme post about your STEM studies is noticed by a kind stranger the two of you start a conversation and become internet friends.
Warnings: cussing, typos, grammar mistakes, probably not accurate for all colleges since I'm using mine as a reference, fluff, angst, slowburn, eventual smut (i'm bad at writing it so sorry)
A/N: wanted to write angsty af, but turned to smut.... enjoy and don't get used to it 😂
You hit send and stretch on your chair, your spine cracks after sitting down and hunching over your laptop for so long. It wasn't the healthiest but once you started writing you couldn't stop. Words in your begged you to let them out into the world. Or rather your final essay.
It took a while but it was finally finished. A week in advance, might you add. With this thing off your hands you could finally relax and concider the first year of your college to be officially over. All finals done and graded, no fails or retakes. And you have three months of doing absolutely nothing before you.
You smiled looking at the mail to the professor, your essay attached and secured.
Wait a minute.
The file you saved and attached has a different name than your final version.
You panic, quickly attach the file titled "final draft" and write: I'm sosorry mr prof i acidentally sentd the wrong file, this is the corr.rect one.
Only after you hit send did you notice all the typos but frankly you didn't care. Even this little embarassment was way better than your little what you deem funny notes written everywhere in your essays. It's like a fun excercise for you, using humor to keep your brain from falling asleep and potentionally hitting a block.
"Calm down heart, everything is okay," you whisper to yourself, "look, the correct version is there. Now you can start a summer break. So please, stop beating so fast."
But your heart knew something you didn't yet and kept rapidly beating. You stared at the new mail. The correct file was right there so why-
You didn't copy the conclusion from the draft to the final file. You checked the final draft just in case and sure enough the three paragraphs you wrote ten minutes ago weren't there.
"How can I be this fucking stupid?!" you cussed at yourself while you were pressing ctrl, c and v keys fixing your mistake.
This time you took deep breaths, wrote gramatically correct apology, attached the correct file (which you opened before you attached it) and finally hit send.
You finally calmed down. Now that you think about it the poor professor of yours will be so confused but amused as well. You chuckled to yourself and already formed a meme in your head.
After couple of minutes it was shining proudly on your laptop screen:
Maybe it was the sleep deprived state you were in or the hilarity of your dumbness but right now you though this was the funniest meme you've ever created. You proudly logged on your tumblr account and posted it.
Your blog was relatively small, only reblogging interesting pictures and almost never making your own original posts. And even those you did make didn't get any recognision so you started treating it as your own personal diary. Venting about stuff that went wrong in your life, making memes either about things happening to you or after your brain once again made a weird connection between two subjects discussed in class. Almost no one but you found them funny, hence the lack of notes under your posts but you stopped caring a long time ago. You found them funny and it was all that mattered.
But now all that matter was you finally getting a good night's sleep with no stress, no alarm waking you up early to study, absolutely nothing.
Being dumb as always you forgot to turn off your usual 7am alarm. Groaning you rached for your phone and with one eye still closed you tried turning it off. Only to notice something unusual. You got a notification. From tumblr. Someone liked your post. And commented too!
All sleepiness left your body as you quickly went into the app on your phone and checked the notes.
⬛ black-swallow commented: damn and here i thought i was the only one making dumb mistakes in college 😂
For your first ever comment it was certainly...something. You didn't know whether to comment back playfully or leave it. But out of pure curiosity you commented back.
@ black-swallow yeah nah, there are more of us. Btw what was the dumbest thing you did?
The reply would probably take a while, if ever, so you started your morning routine: skin care, brush your teeth, hair, etc.
As you sat down with your breakfast you checked the notes and surprisingly your new buddy commented back.
⬛️ black-swallow: i basically did the same thing you did with your essay, but i did it with my application. Had to send it four times...
You almost spit out your water. Four times? Poor fella. Must've been so stressed.
@ black-swallow oh that sounds really stressful. But hey you got in in the end!
⬛️ black-swallow: yeah, and got kicked out too :')
Okay now's the time to stop talking, unless you want to embarass yourself even further. Cringing at yourself you closed the app and turned off your phone. First person you interacted with on that god darn app and you embarass yourself like that. Unbelievable.
After finishing breakfast you had no plans for the day. Other than enjoying your fellow freshmen stress about their finals which you since long passed. You just propped up your legs and relaxed. Until you heard another tumblr notification.
But this time it was a dm.
Sorry to bother you like this but can i ask what does bioarcheology mean? Sounds terrifying.
"Calm down," you said to yourself, "it's just a dm, nothing difficult. Besides this person sounds nice. They don't know you, they can't see you, they can't hurt you."
The years of your parents beating your head with 'don't talk to strangers online' went out the window the moment you replied to the very first person reaching out to you through internet.
Nothing interesting really, i picked that class for extra credit anyways 😅
The reply came in imediately. You and this person must be in the same timezones. How lucky!
Come on, don't be so humble. When i passed my first scary sounding class i was talking about it to everyone willing to listen
Well, what was your scary sounding class then?
Biophysics
Holy 💀 physics alone is hell but mixing it with biology as well?
Ikr? Honestly some lectures were really interesting but others were like a lullaby for me 😴
I understand, some bioarcheology lectures were boring for me too. By the way what college are you on?
*were. Medicine.
Sorry, i forgot 😣 and yeah, should've guessed... sorry
Hey it's okay. And don't apologize, maybe things were supposed to be like this
What do you mean?
I wasn't feeling very well on that school, i just didn't wanna quit in the first year. And before you ask i dropped out after second
So you were forcing yourself to stay on a school you didn't like anymore for two years?
Yup. Everyone else had gotten to the schools they wanted and loved it, i felt like i was wasting my time but if i left willingly only after a year i would be a year behind everyone else. So i left it up for fate
And fate decided to kick you out
True to that. But i still like science, just not the medicine part of it...
After studying biophysics i'm not even surprised...
It took your college drop out some time to write a reply so you made yourself a cup of your favourite tea, force of habit since you studied with it too. So far you're starting to like texting with some complete stranger. Getting to know their story. Is this why people casually slide into others' dms?
Your friend finally replied.
Sorry, my roommate needed help with packing. As for your last message there were lots of other classes that were equally if not harder than biophysics, but all of them either dealt with anatomy or physiology which is basically memorizing. When it comes to finding patterns and math and using logic i'm pretty slow
You chuckled and typed a reply.
You'd like it on my college then. Lots of memorizing, very little logic. Which sucks for me because i'm the exact opposite 😂
Well, now that i'm a free man and know an insider i just might apply 👀
So now that you know he's a man. Okay, you can live with that. Even though you felt a tad more nervous now that you know something a bit more specific.
What's your school called?
It's the natural science one. The same city as your previous school
You vividly remember your bus passing by the best medical school in your entire country. You just hope he really was attending that one and not a different, less prestigeus one.
Natural science? So STEM in other words
Basically
Yeah i know which one. Coincidentally after highschool that one was my second choice in case med doesn't work out.
See, maybe fate wanted you in STEM all along
Haha, maybe 😂 My name's Suguru Geto by the way
I'm Y/N, nice to meet you :)
*
Summer quickly passed and the only thing you remember was your talks with Geto. They were shy and reserved at the begining, mostly starting with 'how are you?' continued with 'good, and you?' followed by some awkward silent minutes before it evolved into a deep conversation about the immortality of a cockroach.
You found out lots of things about his life. How he met his best friend in highschool, how the two of them and one other girl used to wreak havoc across the town, how they all got into the same college albait with different intentions. The girl called Shoko genuenly wanted to become a doctor dreaming about it her whole life. Geto's best friend Gojo, being very competitive but also a son of a wealthy CEO didn't need to go to a college but wanted to to be with his friends (later he admited to Geto he got into that school just to show Shoko it's not as hard as she said it was). And Geto applied because he had no idea where else to go. He liked science, biology, chemistry, being in lab, creating something new which would help the world. Med school sounded like the clear answer for him, if it wasn't for the boredom he experienced the first semester.
He told you how he struggled in some classes finding them absolutely unnecessary and beneath him, his professor condescendingly talking to them as if they were less than worm beneath the ground if they didn't know an answer. He went above and beyond to at least pass the class hoping next semester would be better. Oh how wrong he was. No matter what he did, no matter how selflessly he helped his classmates they never showed gratitude. When he upped his grade from barely passing to top of the class no one even bat an eye, as if that was a sure thing.
By the time second year came he was so mentally drained he didn't even bother to show up to classes anymore. Why bother if the teachers are just reading the text off of their powerpoint presentation and he has to learn it by himself in the end anyways?
The more he ranted to you the more you pitied him. For you STEM was the first and only path in your life, dreaming about it since you were a kid. For him though? Thinking you finally found your path only to be this utterly disappointed must've been like a stab to the back.
Getting a letter about him being expelled must've been half relieving to him and half disappointing. On one hand you have your freedom of choice back on the other you have the stress of possibly not making it in.
The entire summer wasn't just about him talking to you, no no, he was also a great listener. You complained about mundane things to him and he always answered in matter of minutes. He was always there for you, but now you were the one to be there for him as well.
Y/N i'm so stressed i feel like puking
You'll be fine, don't worry about it. If anything there are lots of plant pots on hallways for you to puke in and fertilize them ^^
As if... i'll go to the deanship like a civilized person thank you very much
Very classy geto 🙄 By the way which place holds the entrance exams? Have you found it?
B1 404, standing infront of it. Why? Did you take it someplace else last year?
No, never had to take it, had grades good enough
Show off
I know 😘
You cringed as you realized what emoji you just sent him. Force of habit from sending it to your friends whenever you manage to prank them. To your surprise he sent you back a winking AND smirking emoji. You blushed. He has never sent you anything flirty or suggestive. Why would he? The two of you didn't even know eachother that well or what the other one looked like. He could be a slimy looking weirdo with a pedo-moustache for all you knew.
Okay Y/N, gotta go now, wish me luck
Always Geto, good luck!
*
Can I ask you something?
It was weird for him to start your everyday conversation with this sentence, you thought.
Sure. Is it something about the school mister accepted?
No, don't worry, i'll get to exploiting you later 😏 I wanted to ask, what do you look like?
If the first message didn't make you blush the second one sure did. You never asked eachother about your appearance. You already made an image of him in your head. The longer you knew him the more your imagination turned him from a questionable weirdo to an almost cute nerd.
You'll see once the semester starts
You really think i can wait that long? Do you even know me? If you're shy would it be better if i showed you how i looked like first?
Yeah, that would be better.
It took couple of minutes before your screen lit up with a new message.
You almost passed out. There's no way someone can look this good in just an oversized tshirt and sweatpants. And a man bun of all things! The jawline, you were pretty sure it could cut diamonds. His eyes, narrow and sharp, with irises dark enough to not even see his pupils. And yet they seemed oddly kind to you.
The longer you looked at the selfie he sent you the more heat rushed to your face. There's no way a guy this gorgeous has been texting with you this entire summer.
That's not you
It is
It isn't! You just googled a model or something
A model you say 😏
That damn emoji will kill you one day. Before you could get a hold of yourself you got another selfie from him. This time he had a post-it note with your name on it between his lips.
Believe me now?
*
It's been a couple of days since he sent you that picture and you still haven't replied. Every morning Geto woke up and checked his phone but still no replies from you. Well, aside from a picture of a naked cat and calling it your nude.
"Your girlfriend still not talking to you?" Gojo asked.
Geto sighed. "Stop calling her my girlfriend. And yes, still nothing. I told you that last selfie would be too much for her."
Gojo took a bite from his apple. "Was worth a try," he said mouth half full of his granny smith, "didn't she send you a pic back?"
Geto showed him his phone screen and Gojo coughed out his chewed peace of apple.
"Ew, you're cleaning it," Geto jumped back from the mix of apple and spit that landed next to him on the couch.
"Hey and whose fault it is to bag a girl with an excellent sense of humor?" Gojo reluctantly went to the kitchen to get a wipe to clean up his mess. "And even if she's ugly her being funny may make up for it."
Geto sighed. "She's just a friend who happens to be my future upperclassman, I don't care if she's ugly. I mean, I'm friends with you afterall," he smirked.
Gojo showed him his tongue while pulling one of his lower eyelids down and left the living room. (A/N: what Gojo just did is like giving someone a middle finger but in japanese way)
*
You were more stressed than ever. Which was partially understandable, you're about to enter the second year of university tomorrow. The assignments, the lab reports, the midterms, the finals.... Your head was already spinning from the amount of studying that's infront of you. And they say the first year is usually the hardest.
But other than the usual fears you had another one called Geto Suguru. A guy you've been talking to the entire summer. A guy who has sent you bunch of winky and smirky faces. And his actual face. Twice.
Since then you'd talked sporadically. Not that he was pestering you about your own face reveal, he was oddly conciderate about you not wanting to show yourself to him just yet. Both of you were just busy. You with buying new supplies for all your classes and him with probably the same.
It wasn't that you thought of yourself as ugly or anything. On your best days you even thought of yourself as quite cute. But compared to other girls around you... you just fell into the background. Forever the side character.
Either way, the closer it got to the first day of the semester the more messages from him blew up your phone every day. Stuff as "where is the xyz class" or "does this professor take attendance every lecture?" was on a daily basis now. Gone were the deep talks or good mornings that made your heart skip a beat even before you knew what the guy sending you these messages even looked like. But you couldn't blame him. New environment. New people. If you were in his place you'd probably act the same.
For the last time you checked your phone for new messages from him. Aside from the one thanking you for a map of the campus nothing new. He must've gone to sleep already, you thought.
Checking your backpack for the last time before bed has soothed your thoughts about possibly bumping into your internet friend tomorrow. You finally went to bed.
*
The bus is usually empty whenever you take it to school. Which you thank all gods for because it's a thirty minute drive and with the amount of walking you still have to do to get to the school you were greatful for always finding an empty seat. Sitting by the window as usual, looking at all those different people going about their morning routine. Kids of all ages going to schools, adults either nervously honking at the car infront of them or taking their dog for a walk with no care in the stressed out world around them. You were stuck inbetween these two worlds. Still burdened with school work but also with adult chores. Stuck in your own personal limbo.
The bus turned right. A huge light blue building appeared in the corner of your eye. Outside the window was the medical school you always passed by kn your way to school. The same medical school your new friend attended few months ago. You started to wonder about him for the first time that day and your usual angxiety returned. How will you meet? And when? Would it be today? Should you approach him if you see him? How will he react?
Your train of thoughts came to a stop just like the bus. Outside the window at the bus stop stood a familiar modelylike face. The same face you took a screenshot of and stared at every day since he sent it to you.
Suguru Geto boarded the same bus. Eyes still half asleep never even looked your direction. He took a seat right infront of you giving you a perfect view of his luscius hair tied in a half up bun. You stared at him as if he was a ghost. You weren't ready to meet him this soon. What should you do? Should you tap him on the shoulder? No. Rather not. You remember how he told you about his morning temper and how he can snap at people if he doesn't get enough sleep.
Out of fear of him snapping at you you pulled your hand back and stared out the window again. You'll bump into him later. Hopefully.
You were tense the rest of the drive to your school. When the bus finally came to your stop you practically sprinted to the bus door and out onto the busy street. Not even bother to look back if Geto gave you a weird look you quickly walked up the stairs and up the hill quickly getting surrounded by fellow students. Some were familiar from the previous year, some were complete strangers. You could easily spot a freshman, by their nervous faces and unsure steps. You looked just the same before.
Now your step was more confident, knowing where to go, but your hands were nervously rubbing eachother. Sometimes you checked behind your shoulder and sure enough Geto was right there towering above most of the students. You had guessed he was tall but that tall?
No matter. Pretty soon your paths would drift apart. He already told you he has a virology lecture which takes place in a completely separate building than your biochemistry labs. If you were lucky you could pass by him in a hall today. You hoped not to though. Sitting behind him has already made your heart nearly beat out of your chest, how would it react if he was walking right towards you?
Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket as you walked through the front entrance. It was Geto. You exchanged phone numbers in case he ever needed anything and you weren't online to see his message. Which was what you told him. In reality you really wanted to hear his voice at some point. In a safe distance.
You pulled out your phone and checked to see what he had sent you. It was a picture of the front entrance with a caption "i'm on a highway to hell". You chuckled. Of course he would be into that type of music. Before you turned the phone off something caught your eye. It was the back of your head. Right there in the middle of the picture about to enter the school. You blushed. If only he knew he already took a picture of you.
You only replied with a smiley face and informed him you're already on your way to your first class. He wished you good luck as you did him and both of you stepped into the new chapter of your lives.
*
You traitor
Only a week into the semester and he already scared you half to death. Did he already find out what you looked like?
Why didn't you tell me i have to take organic chemistry again 😫
You sighed in relief.
Sorry buddy. But hey, look at it from the bright side: you already studied all of it once before. And i doubt our organic chemistry is more difficult than yours was
The lectures are fine, already had one this week. But the labs. THE LABS
Come on it can't be that bad. Judging by the pictures of your cooking over the summer, you're quite skilled at measuring and mixing ingredients. It just won't be edible
It's not that. The labs are super boring. You don't acomplish anything during them and their only purpose is for you to learn how to behave in labs in general, how to work with the various tools and how to properly write lab reports. They just prepare you for AFTER you already graduate
Isn't that how all labs are though?
Well, yes. But we at least had little competitions during our morgue classes
YOU WENT TO THE ACTUAL MORGUE 💀
No, don't worry. Me and Satoru called it that. It was actually autopsy room
Satoru. Your friend right?
Yeah
Do you miss him?
Sometimes. i mean we are still roommates but since we have different scheudals we don't get to interact much outside of weekends... But on the bright side as you like to say i can finally focus on the lectures 100%. Before Satoru used to always taunt me into playing tic-tac-toe. I miss the winning tho...
You chuckled. He was so goofy, despite looking really serious every time you caught a sight of him. Maybe he just has a resting homicide face.
Anyways, have to go now. Tomorrow is my first organic chemistry lab
Okay, good night Suguru! Good luck!
:)
What?
You called me Suguru
Only then you realized your mistake.
I'm so sorry 😣
It's fine. I like it. Good night. Sweet dreams <3
*
As unlucky as you were while texting Suguru you were lucky in other aspects. Your morning lecture got cancelled. Which meant you had around two hours of free time. Which you couldn't spend in bed unfortunatelly, because the little remnants of bad luck caused you to read the mail about cancelation only after you were already in school. It was fine tho. You could finally get a taste of true college life.
You got a coffee from school café, bought a sandwitch from the diner, found yourself a couch in a chill zone near the chemistry department, which were usually all full of stressed out or relaxing students, pulled out a laptop and worked on your lab report.
Working came easy to you even though you had rushing students all around you. Even through all the noise and distraction your fingertips still dance across the keys, your mind still produced intelligent sounding senteces. You were about to save the whole file when someone tapped you kn the shoulder.
"Yeah-?" you looked up and nearly died right then and there. It was Suguru. Towering above you with his hair fully pulled up except for a small strand framing his face. Has he found you already?
"Sorry but, do you know where the room CH1 409 is? We're kinda lost and only have like 7 minutes to get there," he said sheepishly as he stepped aside revealing what you assumed were his three lab mates. Two of them were girls. You hated how jealous you started to feel.
"S-sure," you managed to stutter out. "I can take you there actually. It's a little difficult to find and I'm not the best direction giver," you chuckled awkwardly while putting your laptop back to your bag.
"Wonderful! Thank you," said one of Suguru's friends.
You nodded and walked ahead of them. It was a shame you didn't get to hear his voice more. You decided to change it.
"So, you're freshmen," you started. As much as you hated smalltalk you really wanted to hear that smooth baritone of his.
Your unluckiness strikes again. "Yeah, how did you know?" said one of the girls.
"You dummy," told her the other girl, "she knows where the lab is, she's probably had to take the exact same classes as us!"
"Oh, yeah you're right."
"And how do you like it here so far?" you tried again.
"It's great here," answered the guy, "though some classes are pretty difficult. I have no idea how I'll be able to pass."
"Don't worry, if you have motivation you'll pass," you tried encouraging him. "What about you?" you directed your question at Suguru who was walking behind everyone.
He only shrugged. "Don't know, has only been a week. Too short to judge," he answere a bit coldly.
"Oh don't mind him," one of the girls patted your back, "he can be a giant ass sometimes."
Not to me though, you thought. What about all those times he was the sweetest guy with you? Maybe he just hasn't slept well. Yeah, that must be it.
Before you could try to conversate a bit more you arrived at the lab. There were other freshmen already waiting in their lab coats on and their notebooks in hands. Suguru and his friends pulled out their lab coats as well. Disappointed at your very first (albeit unofficial) meeting you turned around to leave when one of the girls stopped you.
"Thank you so much for showing us the way!" she said cheerfully. Behind her stood Suguru. Now that you think about it he was always walking behind her. If you inspected her more closely you noticed she had a miniskirt on with fishnets underneath.
Jealousy is a beast that you usually fight off quite quickly. But today you lost. "Can I give you an advice?"
"Sure," she smiled, her perfectly white teeth stood out against the deep red lipstick she had on.
"Don't wear too much make up to labs, the fumes from chemicals could react with it and burn you. Also tie your hair up," you gestured at her long silky waves while noticing how she tried to hide her big forhead by letting it down, "they could catch on fire."
Hopefully you desguised your pettiness as good enough of an advice. The girl you were talking to seemed convinced as she thanked you prefusely before asking around for a hairtie. The other girl already pulled out hers.
You waved goodbye to the freshmen, mostly Suguru. They waved back, except for Suguru who kept looking at you quizicaly.
Your previous spot on couches was occupied. You opted for a different resting place, near a room where your next lecture will be held in. It wasn't as cozy as the couch but it was free of any people and it had a desk too. No more balancing your laptop on your thighs.
As you sat down you pulled out your laptop, notebook from labs and a phone who was already telling you about one unread message from Suguru.
Met my first unpleasant person in this place
Your heart tightened. Unpleasant?
What do you mean?
However he didn't respond back. Of course he didn't. He had labs. He was probably busy with titration or other bullshit you did a year ago. You will just have to wait.
The waiting took half a day. Right as his labs were finishing your lecture was about to start. And since this professor wasn't one of the kind ones to send you his presentations you had to take notes manually. It took more than two hours for you to finally get on your phone.
We were lost on our way to organic chem labs and i had to ask someone on a way there. The girl was nice, she even lead us there. But then she made some passive agressive comments to my friend
Oh shit. Were you really that bad?
What did the girl say?
Just told her she can't wear that much make up and has to tie her hair back. My friend has acne she masks with the make up and pretty big forhead which she told me she's self conscious of. Whatever that girl was a bitch for saying that to her
You resisted the urge to cry, swallowed the huge lump in your throat and sat down on the nearest bench. You didn't mean to be that bad. Were you really acting like a bitch? Maybe he's just exaggarating. It was only pettiness. It won't happen again.
Those were good advices tho. The fumes from chemicals could mess up with the make up and burn her skin and if she leaned down above a burner her hair could catch on fire
Once you realized how much you sounded like "that bitch" Suguru was talking about you quickly typed another message.
It was the first thing our professor told us and he beat it into our heads every time a girl came in with lose hair
A reply from him came couple of minutes later.
Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just that That girl had a weird look on her face
You had no way of replying to that. Or mood to reply as well. You just wrote him a quick ttyl and went to the bus stop. On your way downhill from the school you felt your face heating up more and more from embarassement. You knew you should've fought with jealousy more. You knew you should've kept your mouth shut. Now that moment will haunt you forever. And not only that, if you ever get enough courage to reveal yourself to him he will instantly remember you as his first unpleasant person in there.
All in all, it was just the first week but you already want the whole semester to end.
*
Couple of weeks passed. Suguru and you texted nearly every day. Mostly after school. Sometimes he teased you by sending you picutres of stray cats near the campus with captions 'this you?' to which you always sent a rolling eye emoji.
Makes me wonder how many times we passed eachother 🤔
Lots, trust me
Whaaa? And you never bothered to talk to me?
We did actually
Your last message made him lean back too much on his chair and fall.
"You okay?" asked Shoko who still visited him and Gojo either out of boredom or nostalgia's sake.
Suguru ignored her concern and quickly shuffled in his memory. He has talked to so many people outside his class already. Mostly asking for directions to different places. But for the love of him he couldn't figure out if he talked to any girls or how many he talked to. Or how they looked like.
Aaaand can you tell me what we talked about?
You were asking for directions to a lab
Do you even know how little that narrows it down? And why are you so talkative today anyways? Did i tell you something rude or?
No. It's biochemistry. I can't figure it out 😭
Aaaw, my poor girl
As much as he liked the flustered reactions whenever he happened to mildly flirt with you he genuenly meant it this time. He remembers his own time figuratively and literally crying over biochemistry. He decided to take a leap of faith.
How about i study with you? I had biochemistry for two whole semesters and passed it by some miracle
You'd do that for me?
Sure. Besides after all the material you've already sent me and how much you already helped me it's about time i helped you back. Otherwise i just feel like a leech
There was no reply from you for couple of minutes and Suguru was affraid he maybe overstepped this invisible line you drew between them.
He heard hushed voices behind his back.
"What?" he snapped a little more annoyed than he intended.
"Is that girl ignoring you again?" Shoko puffed out some smoke from her cigarette.
"She isn't ignoring me," he waved his hand around in the cloud of smoke clearing the air a bit, "it just takes her a little longer."
"Riiight," Shoko put her cigarette between her lips again.
"I don't understand how the two of you haven't met already," Gojo complained. He should be studying along with Shoko but as usual he kept lounging around, dismissing Shoko's comments about him failing this class for sure with that attitude.
"Half of the semester is behind us already and you still have no idea how she looks like."
"She's shy, let her be."
"Aaaw, look how he's defending his girlfriend," Gojo cooed.
Geto glared.
"Soon to be girlfriend," Gojo corrected himself.
"With the way she's talking to me soon to be an ex friend. She's been so distant lately..." he rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"Don't worry, maybe she's just busy," Shoko reassured him.
"She did mention something about biochemistry."
"See!"
"Even then, her messages have been rather weird. Sometimes she's her happy talkative self and other days she barely texts back a full sentence," he sighed.
Gojo patted his shoulder. "That's girls for you. Which reminds me," he pulled out his own phone out of his pocket, "there's a joined party for med students and scientists as well. How about we go? You'll finally get to relax," he adressed poor Shoko hovering above her notes, "and you can invite your soon to be slash maybe never be girlfriend and finally meet her! I plan on meeting this one lady myself so we can organize a double date if you're shy."
"No matter how much you try Utahime will still tell you to go fuck yourself," Shoko reminded him.
Gojo turned around at her. "Well first of all-!"
Geto payed no mind to their arguement anymore. His phone buzzed in his hand. You replied.
Okay. But can we study right now please? Through a phone call?
In a speed of light Geto sneaked out of the living room to his own bedroom and searched for his old biochemistry notes. Even though he offered to help he himself was pretty clueless and barely passed the finals. Still the urge to finally hear your voice was bigger than the embarassment possibly awaiting him.
As soon as he found the old dusty notebook he sat down at his desk and dialed you.
It took only two rings for you to answer.
"Hello?"
By god your voice sounded so cute. He wanted to squich your cheeks so bad. Unfortunatelly he couldn't remember a single person he talked to who would even come close to sounding like you. Granted, the phone makes everyone's voice sound a bit robotic but still. Should he start recording every conversation he has from now on?
"Well hello there," he greeted back with a smile. "So, what is it you need help with?"
You hummed. He distantly heard ruffling of couple of papers. Eventually you answered. "Gluconeogenesis."
"Okay, a bit more specificly?" he already started looking for a page about it but couldn't seem to find it. Did they even cover it?
"Well, the whole thing basically. I know it's glycolysis but backwards but in the presentation the professor showed us were couple of reactions that looked confusing and I don't know what else to do."
Even though he found your whine at the end of your sentence cute he was frantically turning page after page looking for any headtitle starting on G but nothing.
Someone opened his door.
"Who're you talking to?" both his best friend and Shoko peaked through the opened door.
Geto waved at them to leave. "Uhm give me a moment okay?" he said to the phone and then pushed it to his shoulder. "Shoko do you have a biochemistry notebook here?"
"Is that your girl?" she asked insted, excitement in her eyes. "Put her on loudspeaker!"
"Do you have it or not?!"
"If I say I do will you let me hear her?"
Geto contemplated. He wanted to keep you just to himself for a while longer. But without Shoko's help...
Gojo came in with his own half torn notebook dangling it infront of Geto. "It's all yours if you let us hear her."
Geto frowned into his best friends smirked face which matched Shoko's. He rolled his eyes and finally spoke to the phone again. "Listen Y/N, my friends want to hear you, can I put you on a loudspeaker?"
"Uhm, sure?"
As soon as he did Gojo started asking bunch of questions. "Heey how are you? Are you the Y/N Sugu won't shut up about? How do you look like? Why didn't you send my boy a selfie? He likes black so go on and buy some nice black lingerie for him yeah?"
By the time he finished his little rant Geto covered his phones's microphone and nearly kicked him in the gut. Hopefully you didn't hear most of his questions.
Shoko punched him as well chastising him for scaring you off. "Don't mind him Y/N, you'll get used to him. Now say something already!"
After a second of silence you peeped out a shy: "Hi."
"Oh my god Suguru she sounds so cute," Gojo gushed.
"Don't let her near him," Shoko pointed at Gojo. "It was nice to hear you Y/N, can't wait for Suguru to introduce you to us properly. Enjoy your study date!" she said as she dragged Gojo away before he could blabber out some more inapropriate things.
Suguru turned the loudspeaker off and it was just you two again.
"What the hell was that," you asked with panic in your voice.
"My friends trying to ruin my life. They mean well though, don't worry. It's just rare for them to see me interacting with a girl."
"But whenever I see you on the halls you're surrounded by couple of girls though."
Geto smirked. "Is that jealousy I hear?"
"Maybe."
Before he could press any further you asked about biochemistry and he quickly found the page he needed. Thankfully back then Gojo was at least trying to take notes in classes so the entire gluconeogenesis was neatly explained. After about twenty minutes you exclaimed you finally understood and thanked him.
"My pleasure Y/N. Was this why you weren't talking to me that much?" he leaned back on his chair.
"This and another thing, but it's okay now."
"Aaaw, what other thing? You know you can always talk to me right?"
"I know, but not this time. Sorry."
"It's fine," he said sadly. In the back of his mind he imagined bunch of different scenarios that could trouble you. Failed test, mean classmates, or worse a crush on a classmate.
"Hey, you have a nice voice," your words pulled him from his thoughts.
He chuckled. "Look who's talking. Even though are you sure it was me you talked to? I swear I never heard such a melodic voice from anyone in school."
"Well, you were kinda in a hurry. And was focusing elsewhere too..."
"Huh? What do you mean?" he genuenly didn't understand. Focusing elsewhere?
"Nevermind. By the way how do you like it so far? It's been almost half a semester now."
"It's going pretty good. Much more interesting than med school. Even though," he rocked on his chair back and forth, "it would've been nicer if we could've met face to face."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really."
"I don't think that's a good idea though."
He quickly stopped rocking and sat up straight. "What? Y/N..." he couldn't even find words. Why wouldn't you want to meet up with him? "Y/N, have I been rude to you? Have I scared you off while we talked in real life?"
"No."
He sighed in relief.
"You barely even looked at me."
His heart tightened again.
"It's just that," you paused for a second trying to put together a whole sentence, "I've seen the girls you hang around Suguru and all of them are really beautiful. Standing besides them I look nothing special. You would be disappointed if we met and you knew it was me. Isn't it better this way? I bet you imagine me as this model or something," you chuckled but he could hear the sadness in your voice.
"Y/N, first of all my imagination is pretty bad so I only imagine you as a girl with your name written across your face," you chuckled at that which made his heart swell, "and second of all those girls hang around me, not the other way around. Most of the time we travel in groups and look for places together which is way more efficient than getting lost alone. Besides, none of them can even hold a candle to you intellectually. Once in a virology lab this one girl gathered a sample of bacteria on that wire thingy and put the whole thing into the burner. She was very surprised why she had nothing grown on her petri dish a week later"
"Oh my god," you laughed out loud. "How will she pass?"
"Maybe she won't. I heard some other upperclassmen say the first year is usually treated as a sorting out year."
"It's possible. But her effectively killing all her bacteria sample is something else."
"It is," he chuckled at the memory. "Now that I think about it do you remember that unpleasant girl i told you some weeks back?"
"Yeah," you said emotionlessly but he paid it no mind.
"The girl she gave advice to was the same girl who burned off all her bacteria. Maybe she was right about advicing her like that. Maybe she could smell the stupid on her."
"Maybe."
There it was again. The one word answers.
"What is it now?" he asked concerned.
"Nothing, I just," you paused. He could sense a hesitation from your side. Eventually you spoke up again. "I just think I know that girl."
"Oh? Is she your friend?"
"More or less."
"Then I'm sorry if I offended her."
"Nah, it's fine. Do you still think of her as a bitch?"
"No."
"Then all's fine," he could hear you smile and he smiled as well.
"Well Suguru, as much as I like hearing your voice I have to go to sleep now. Thank you for explaining it to me again. I don't know what I would've done without you."
His heart sped up at the praise. "It was fine Y/N, that's what friends are for right? Oh and one more thing!"
"Yeah?"
He hesitated but finally he gathered enough courage. "Satoru told me about an upcoming party for scientists. Are you coming?" he asked hopefully.
"Maybe. It should be after a midterm from embryology. Let me check."
He patiently waited while you checked your calendar. Even if you wouldn't be going he would still find a way to meet you. Now that he knows what you sound like he could just walk around and listen to people talking.
"No, unfortunately it's the night before the midterm. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," he tried masking his disappointment. Even though he admired how dedicated you were to your studies he really wished you could make an exception.
"Hey, maybe next time, okay?"
"Yeah, maybe fate will arrange my life again," he joked and you chuckled.
"Yeah. You never know. Good night Suguru. Sweet dreams."
*
Your midterm was around the corner. As was the party Suguru mentioned. You still see him in halls here and there, often surrounded by a group of people. There didn't seem to be a time where he was alone. Unsurprisingly so, since he looked like... well, like him. To sooth your jealousy there didn't seem to be any prominent lady hanging around him all the time. The faces in his close circle were always changing. Even the famous dummy from virology seemed to disappear. Maybe his words about merely traveling together were true.
Today however you payed no attention to him or his newfound friends. The only thing on your mind was your midterm. Other groups have already taken it and you heard them say how life draining it was. Their words were confirmed after you passed by a group of your friends who just finished it. Well, friends was a strong word. As freshmen you often relied on eachother but now that you know your way around and you were sorted jnto different groups you talked less and less.
"Hey," you greeted them. "How was it?"
"Run for your life girl," the one who had most prominent eyebags replied.
Some other people who you didn't know nodded, their faces equally as tired. Eveb the biggest know it all you've met in this darn buidling was mumbling something about retaking it.
From there your legs took you straight to library. It didn't look like those in movies you watched growing up. No fancy decoration or tables with green lamps. Just basic library with books stacked up to the ceiling, basic wooden uncomfortable looking chairs and tables with chipped edges. A pleasure to study there.
With a list of helpful books in your phone you walked around not looking for a particular one. Just procrastinating. If you managed to find one off your list you just flipped around and put it back in. All terms in there were already familiar to you. You doubted you could learn anything new by now.
Few rows bahind you something fell to the ground, the loud noise making you jump. A pretty loud 'fuck' along with a very familiar scolding from librarian soon followed. Amused you peeked into the corridor to check the poor guy's first experience with the dreaded librarian. It must be a freshman. Everyone else already knows to not even breath when in closed proximity of that witch.
It really was a freshman. But your freshman. Suguru stumbled from the alley into the corridor and quickly hid in the same row you were in, running by you, barely sparing you a glance.
The librarian calmed down and returned to her usual spot, a spawnpoint as you liked to call it. Once she did Suguru sighed and leaned back, a small smile tugging on his lips.
You admired him for a bit. It's been a long time since you've seen him, let alone been this close to him. Once he calmed down his head fell back to its usual level and he finally noticed you. His smile faded and your heart cracked. "Hi," he politely greeted. You only nodded back aknowledging him and opened the book you held on a random page. The whole book could be upside down and you would never even know, the only thing you were focusing on was his figure. Which was moving slowly towards you.
"Uhm, excuse me," his melodic voice made you look up at him. Your cheeks got heated as you waited for his next words. "Could you move?" he asked and pointed at the shelf you were leaning on.
"Oh, sorry," you whispered back and quickly moved. Your legs itched to walk away completely to not embarass yourself even further but something stopped you. A sudden urge rose inside you. 'Talk to him. Tell him.'
He flipped through his book, completely unbothered by his surroundings. Thank god for that. It gave you some time to psych yourself up. Twice you opened your mouth and closed it again. He took out his phone to snap couple of pictures of the pages in his hands. An idea.
You pulled your own phone out and messaged him.
Hey, you there?
After hitting send it only took couple of seconds for his phone to vibrate. He glanced at it again with annoyance but after a while a smile creeped up his face as his fingers danced across the screen.
Well hello, how was the study session?
Good. Listen, where are you right now?
Butterflies flew around your insides as you watched him type.
In library. Why? Wanna meet? ;)
This is it. It's now or never.
Look left.
With hope filled eyes you watched him and waited. The message finally got delivered. He read it. Then he turned his head. Your eyes finally met.
"Hi," you said carefully.
"Hi," he repeated, a dumbstruck expression on his face.
You expected a lot. Everything actually. But not what he did. It was just a small movement, some would write it off as just a spasm of muscles. In split second his eyes drifted from your face to someplace behind you and back down to you. As if checking if you're really the only one there.
Your throat tightened as tears slowly clouded your vision. "You're disappointed, right?"
That brought him back to reality as he shook his head. "No, no, of course not. Just surprised, that's all!"
How you wished you believed him. A tear has already escaped your eye and you cursed yourself. Not wanting to embarass yourself even further you turned around ready to leave.
"Hey, wait up," he stopped you by putting his large hand on your shoulder.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS," came an angry voice of the librarian. Both of your hearts stopped beating for a moment.
"Outside?" he mouthed to you.
You nodded and both of you practically sublimated out of there. Standing outside he finally took a good look at you. His eyes resting only on you, despite people walking around. Feeling selfconscious you tugged on your coat. It was supposed to snow today so you took the fluffiest you had, making you look three times your size.
"Ehm, so," you broke the silence, "it was nice meeting you and all but, I have midterm to study for sooo..."
"Oh, but we only just met," he pouted. It was cute, seeing a hunk of a man like him pouting like a kid who lost his favourite toy.
"Sorry," you apologized genuenly meaning it. Even though you'd love to stay time was pressing down on you.
Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Do you remember the party I mentioned to you?"
"The one in two days? Yeah, I remember. Why?"
He grinned. "My roommate is going there so my place will be free. And I need to study as well so we can study together. What do you say?"
His suggestion was tempting. But then again, being with him, all alone, possibly even staying the night? But you always studied much more efficient when you had someone beside you.
After few moments of pondering you nodded making his eyes even brighter.
"Great! I'll text you the address," he held up his phone and winked. "See you later kitten."
*
"This was probably a bad idea," you tell yourself as you check the address one last time. You were already standing under the building. A pretty fancy one. Didn't look like dorms at all. Maybe it wasn't. He did mention his roommate is unholy rich though so maybe this is one of the perks of being his friend?
First snowflakes dropped on your phone screen. You looked up. The clouds didn't even look dark enough to start snowing. The weather forecast didn't mentikn it either. You pulled your coat tighter around you a regretted not putting on another layer just in case like you use to.
The front entrance opened revealing Suguru in black sweatpants and black knitted sweater. "There you are! Come in before you freeze," he stepped aside and held the door open for you.
His place was on the eighth floor. The ride in the elevator wasn't long but for you, being so close to Suguru, it seemed like hours. Finally the elevator dinged and the doors opened. A white haired man wearing a pretty expensive looking shirt stood infront of it. You looked up and him and gulped. What kind of a man wears shades in the building?
"Sugu, is that her?" the man asked pointing a finger at you not even looking in your direction.
Suguru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, this is her. Y/N, this is-"
"Satoru," he took your cold hand in his and leaned down, "pleasure to meet you."
Before he could kiss the back of your hand you pulled it from under his nose and held defensively against your chest. Suguru's shades slid down his nose slightly, revealing surprised blue eyes.
Giggling came from behind him. "I like her," said a brunnette in dark blue dress. "I'm Ieri."
"I'm Y/N," you smiled.
Suguru cleared his throat. "Okay now that we all know who the other one is," he placed his hand on your lower back making your blood quickly travel to your cheeks, "we better go study. Enjoy the party you two," he gently pushed you inside the open apartment door.
"Fine, fine," Satoru rolled his eyes. "If you need condoms I put some of mine in your bedside table."
"We are really going to study though," you said but he only chuckled.
"Yeah I know. Embryology," he winked under his shades and pulled Ieri along with him leaving you and blushing Suguru behind. Alone.
"Ignore him," he said and offered you Ieri's soft slippers. "Tea?"
"Yes please," you took of your coat and hanged it. Their place didn't look like it belonged to a pair of students at all. Everything looked expensive. The ridiculously giant aquarium in the living room wasn't helping at all. Upon further inspection you only saw two fish in there, one black the other white.
Suguru came back from the kitchen. "Those were Satoru's idea," he tapped the aquarium glass.
"It's cute. To represent you and him?"
"Yeah," he put his hands in his pockets and stood beside you. In the glass' reflection yout two almost looked like you were on a date in aquarium. You smiled at the thought. "He also wanted Ieri to have one as well but she refused. I have a feeling she's shipping us."
You chuckled. "Then my presence must be ruining her ship."
"Hmm, are you suggesting something?" he smirked and leaned in closer to you.
"Ehm," you averted your eyes and pulled your backpack off of your shoulders, "we got work to do."
"Right," he straightened back up, his expression unreadable. "Do you want to stay here or go to my bedroom?"
"We can go to yours," you say without actually thinking how it might make you look. Thankfully Suguru found no deeper meaning behind it and lead you to a decently big room. You could tell he was preparing for your visit. No man is this tidy. Even though it's Suguru.
"Make yourself at home, I'll go finish the tea."
"Thanks."
You walked around a bit. There were some pictures of his youth. Some were with people you didn't recognise, some with young Satoru. On all of them he looked extremely cute. Puberty must've hit him like a truck. You also took notice of the dumbells and other training equipment hidden in the corner. You always assumed people like him just went to a gym, or better yet had their own personal gym. Guess he's more of an introvert than you gave him credit for.
Without any further inspections you sat down on his bed, so soft and welcoming. You resisted the urge to lay back and drift off to sleep. It would be perfect. Big soft warm bed, picking up snowstorm outside, a handsome man laying by your side. You shook your head. You're just friends. You're just a friend.
"Tea is here," he walked in with two mugs in his hand handing one to you.
You just held it, wamring up your cold fingers. "Thanks."
With a small smile he nodded and sat right across you on his gamer chair. Did he play videogames as well?
"So, how does the whole studying in pair go?"
You sipped on your tea. Actually you had no idea. The only collective studying yoj ever did was with him through a phone that one time. It was more him explaining things to you rather than mutual teaching. In the end you shrugged. "We'll have to figure it out as we go."
"Guess we will," he leaned back.
He gazed at you so long it made you selfconscious. "What?" you giggled nervously.
He shook his head. "Nothing, just," he moved to lean forward on his legs, "never thought I'd have you here."
"Weren't you the one to beg for a meeting?" recalled all the times he asked on which floor of the school you were or asking for your schedual to surprise you after class.
"I didn't mean that," he said and pointed at his bed. "I meant here."
You looked down and blushed. "Oh."
He chuckled at your flustered expression. "Don't worry, I'm not like Satoru."
"Like Satoru?"
"Horny."
You choked.
"C-can we start studying now?"
He nodded.
*
The clock on his bedroom wall slowly ticked away. You revised everything yoh needed and now was just helping Suguru. In the past hour he restlessly moved from sitting on his chair, to sitting on the parapet to now sitting on the ground right between your legs while you were playing with his long silky hair.
"Come on Suguru! I know you know this!" you tapped his scalp.
"Even if you threatened to shoot me I wouldn't know," he groaned and flipped through his notes again. "Maybe it won't even be on the damn midterm."
"The last time I said this I had to retake it. Besides if you don't pass on the first time then you'll have to retake after Christmas along with your finals. Do you want that?"
He leaned into your hands and closed his eyes. "That won't happen," he tilted his head back and looked at you, "because I have you now."
You chuckled and somehow didn't get flustered. Maybe you were desentisized after spending multiple hours on end with him? "Like I will sit there with you while you take it."
"Why not? I could squeeze you up," he got up from his spot and hugged you real tight against him, "and put you in my pocket like a talisman."
You giggled at him hugging and squeezing you. Without even realizing it he fell down with you in his arms on his massive bed, laughing along with you. When you opened your eyes you were met with his bare neck and long hair framing it. You looked up and realized how close the tow of you are. And how dark it has gotten outside.
He noticed how awkwardly you held your hands infront of you and losened his grip. "I'm sorry. Do you want to go?"
You shook your head and shushed the butterflies in your stomach. "Nope, I just-" you looked away from him, "maybe you're used to it but I've never been this close to a man before..."
He smiled and brushed your hair out of your face to get a better look at you. "I'm not used to it. I told you it's not often I'm close with a member of the opposite sex, and that's why Satoru and Ieri acted so weird. Besides," his hand fell from the top of your head to your neck and rested there, "you're the first girl to lay in this bed."
Your eyes went wide. "Really?"
"Yeah, really."
You had no words. How do normal people even react to something like that? You just hummed and let your eyes roam around his face. He looked really cute right now. Like a cat. Even before he always reminded you of a cat. One of your hands rose up from your chest and with the lenght of your forefinger petted him under his jaw, like you would a cat.
"Meow," he said and you chuckled. But your finger didn't stop petting. Hiw own thumbed rubbed the back of your neck, his palm heavy on the side of it.
"I like bwing around you," you confessed."
"Me too. You're so calming."
You hummed and closed your eyes. "Would you mind if I stayed the night?"
"Not at all. I"ll even drive you to school tomorrow so you won't have to freeze in a bus."
Your eyes shot open. "You have a car?"
He shook his head. "Satoru does. He owes me for so much already. And he forgot his keys here too."
You swatted his shoulder lightly. "You're the worst!"
"Only for you."
There it was again. That damn smirk you imagined every time he sent it in an emoji form. Now it was right infront of your face. You readjusted your head. Now it was on the same level as his face as opposed to before when it was underneath it.
"Why did you message me that first time?"
He thought for a while. "Out of boredom mostly. But I'm glad I did," his hand moved from your neck up to your cheek.
"And why did you keep messaging me?"
"Why did you?"
You weren't sure yourself. "I don't know. You were nice I guess."
"And?" he moved closer to you, the tip of his nose brushing your own.
"I don't know!" You whined and moved your head to brush his nose. "What do you want to hear from me?"
"A confession or something," he mumbled. "I really want to hear you say you like me."
Your movement stopped. He wanted what? "Why?"
"Because," he brushed his thumb on your cheek, "I like you and I want to hear you say it back."
"You like me?" you asked not believing him.
"I do."
"Why?" some self-hating tears burned your eyes. There's no way you were this lucky. There's no way he's serious. Someone like him won't just start liking someone like you.
"Because I felt like it. Will you let me?" he asked and quickly glanced down at your lips. His question was about more than him liking you.
You closed your eyes and let the fate play out this scenario however it wanted. It was its fault he came into your life in the first place.
Suguru smiled and pulled your head towards him. His lips were soft. At first it was just a snall peck, filling your chest with warmth much sweeter than the tea he made you. When he pulled back you kissed him again. He locked your lips together, enjoying the way you moved against him. His other hand pulled your waist towards him and you sighed into his mouth. No one has ever touched you like this before. You could get used to this.
When sweet kisses weren't enough for him anymore he rolled you on your back while stradling you and deepened the kiss. You were surprised, sure, but certainly not dissapointed. You pulled on his lose hair, making him moan into you. This amount of power over a man wasn't so bad. Your hands snaked around his neck while his lowered to your thighs propping them up to lock around his waist. Something hard poked into your center.
Your eyes shot open and you gently pushed on his shoulders to give you some time to breathe.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked. From this short of a distance you could finally see his pupils agajnst his dark eyes. They were blown wide with desire.
You gulped and shook your head. "I'm scared."
He smiled gently and stroked your cheek. "Shh, it's okay. I'll be gentle."
His other hand played with the hem of your shirt, silently asked for permission. Which you gave.
He pulled your shirt of exposing your bare chest to him. You don't even know what you thought that morning not putting on a bra. But right now you were kinda glad you didn't. Less time wasting.
He immediatelly started kissing a path from your neck down to your chest. Sucking a hickey on your sternutm while both of his hands squeezed and massaged your breasts, thumbs flicking across your nipples. You whined at the foreign feeling. The hardness between your legs got even more prominent. Your legs locked around his torso and lifted your upper half to be close to him again. While your ass was off the bed he tried to pull down your warm trousers. Eventually they joined your shirt on the floor.
"Not fair," you whined and pulled on his sweater.
"Lemme fix it," he mumbled into your skin and sat up to pull his clothes away.
Of course he had a six pack. Of course he did. He leaned down and continued kissing your chest. You saw his back muscles. You swore he had muscle groups you thought were a myth.
Once his mouth got to your panties you came to a horrifying realization: you didn't shave.
"Sugu, stop," you tapped on his back making him look up at you.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry, I-I didn't," you looked away in embarassment.
"You didn't what, sweet?" he caressed the inside of your thigh and you shivered.
"It's a mess down there," you finally admitted hiding your face in your hands.
He tsked and pulled your hands from your face giving you a soft kiss. "No good man is affraid of a little forrest," he winked at you and dove right back where he stopped.
"Oh my- Sugu~"
He made out with your lower lips just as passionately as he did with your upper ones. Not used to the new sensation your legs tried to close but he held them wide open, even folded them up against your chest giving him better access. You moaned and whined, everytime you did he tried something new. New speed, new preassure. He spelled his own name on your clit with his tongue before sucking it, making sure to make you feel as good as possible.
Suddenly something poked your entrance. You shot your eyes opened panicked but quickly shut them closed when his long finger stroke your insides. No one has ever touched you in there. Not even yourself. Once he made a 'come closer' motion you were done for.
With a final kiss he pulled out his glitening forefinger. "Well, that was fast," he commented.
"Shut up," you hid your face once again.
He chuckled and moved up again, your legs found their home around his waist. He kissed your hands hiding your face. "It's cute kitten, don't hide away from me," he tapped your wrist. You pulled your hand away revealing your flushed face. "There you are," he smiled and kissed you. He licked inside your mouth and you tasted something more than just his saliva.
While he made out he pulled down his sweatpants and the hardness you felt before sprang free now. Too embarassed you didn't even attempt to glance down. Feeling how big he was down there was way more than seeing it.
"No way that will fit inside," you sighed into his mouth.
"We'll make it," he kissed you before straigthening up and leaning to the side of the bed.
"What are you-?"
"You wouldn't want to study embryology in practice now, would you?" he winked and opened his bedside table.
Embarassed you looked away from him and studied the arm that was still resting beside your head. His bicep must be bigger than your face. And the veins on his fore arms! A wet dream of every nurse for sure.
You mentally slap yourself. Why must you always think like a scientist?!
While you were scolding yourself he quickly slipped on a condom and his tip was now poking at your entrance.
"This will probably hurt," he whispered into your ear.
You found his hand and held it tightly, his fingers interlocking yours. "I trust you."
Slowly, inch by inch he moved inside. If his finger was way too long you weren't even ready for his nether region. He stretched you out in all directions, but mostly forward as he disappeared inside you more and more. You whined here and there but he kissed your cheek and told you how well you're doing and how it will feel good afterwards. His thumb kept rubbing the back of your hand as he moved his hips thrusting up into you.
Then, you didn't even know how but he was all inside. Once he was he groaned. "Fuck," he breathed out and his head fell into the crook of your neck and kissed you there. "You're so soft."
He breathed against your neck and you felt shivers run down your spine. He pulsed inside you and by the way he was breathing you knew he was trying to control himself to not hurt you. Oh how you loved this man.
Your other hand, the one not holding onto his, got lost in his hair. "Y-you can move."
You felt him grin against your skin. He pulled out, making you feel awfully empty, but quickly filling you up again making you gasp. "Oh~"
His arm moved from beside your head to hold your ass in place as he thrusted inside. Slow and steady. His tip always caressed that one spot his finger previously discovered. Every time you moaned he kissed yet another hickie into your neck and you feared you won't be able to last long.
A new feeling grew inside you. Much more powerful than the one before. "S-Sugu~" you breathed out, not being able to finish your sentence.
"Yes kitten?" He lifted his head. God he looked amazing. With his black hair framing his face and little beads of sweat forming on his forhead, like a crown of dewdrops.
"I-I-" he hit that spot again and you moaned seeing stars.
"Oh, you like it here," he angled his hips and poked that spongy spot again.
"N-n-n-" in this new position his pelvis rubbed just perfectly against your clit and it was damn near impossible for yout to even think.
"You're close?"
You nodded.
"Right behind you," he moaned and kept hitting that one wonderful spot unditl both of you fell apart. You first, him following closely after, filling the condom to the point of it leaking around his base. His head fell back into the crook of your neck, leaving soft kisses and catching his breath. Your own chest went up and down, touching his toned one with every breath. He stayed inside, staying nice and warm. You came to love being stretched like this. Unfortunately, both of your bodies would soon grow cold and would have to separate. He pulled out making you hiss.
"Sorry," he chuckled.
"Nah," you caressed the side of his face, "I loved it."
He smiled and kissed your palm. "Sleepy?"
You nodded and as if on cue yawned. Damn he was only with you once and he already knew your body better than you.
He got rid of his condom and threw covers over both of you, pulling your bodies together in the process. This was great. Exactly as you imagined. You and him together after a good and thorough study session, nice and warm while winter went crazy outside.
How could one stay awake?
*
Suguru stroked your naked back. Up and down, then back to your head again, scratching you like a cat. He woke up in the middle of the night and had been caressing you ever since. Usually he would curse this sudden wave of insomnia but now he was greatful. Who knows when will the two of you be like this? With how seriously you take school and his own hectic schedual mixed in? Better to enjoy this while he can.
Sun began to rise when he heard noises outside his bedroom. Satoru must be back.
Sure enough the white haired man stumbled through the threshold, his shades aslant and shakimg from the outside cold.
He made his way into kitchen but stopped once he got a peek into his bestfriend's bedroom. Thankfully you were laying chest to chest on him and most of you was covered by his blanket anyways but still Suguru tried to cover you from unwanted eyes.
Satoru grinned. "Just study?"
Suguru threw a pillow at him.
#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto fluff#geto smut#geto x y/n#geto x you#jjk geto#jjk au#geto suguru x reader fluff#geto suguru x reader smut
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Modern AU Caracalla and Geta!
Brother Shenanigans! Part One
(Barnes and Noble, Target, Olive Garden)
Warnings: not edited properly uhh idk I don’t have siblings so idk if this is accurate 😞🙏
A/N: officially a tumblr writer I suppose, and it’ll just keep being gladiator for a while. anyways, I saw a post of a photo of Caracalla in a restaurant and I forgot what it said but it sparked an idea in me. (btw, go join the roman history/gladiator community!!) anyways this will be a series, and comment stores/locations you’d want me to write about!!
Summary: Caracalla and Geta go shopping together and stuff happens.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Caracalla always drags Geta out of the house, wanting to take his brother on random and spontaneous shopping trips.
Caracalla adores going to Barnes and Noble, spending time in both the history and fiction area. He’d spend time looking for interesting titles and skimming through pages of books, easily spending three hours on one. (Also occasionally going to the kids area, reliving his favorite childhood tales and keeping up with new children’s literature.)
Caracalla would also spend time in the cookbook area, as he yearns to learn how to cook. (Geta does all the cooking, and Caracalla can only make things like toast and simple breakfast. For the sake of Dondas of course.)
Geta in this situation would spend time at the Starbucks in B&N and would probably have a magazine. (Assuming they’re emperors/royalty, most likely a magazine of himself.) He’d get his usual drink, some sort of caffeine filled delicacy to keep his nerves alert.
Caracalla would get ready to leave and checkout and find Geta still drinking his fifth drink and tenth brownie. He’d get up and see Caracalla smiling and be content his brother was happy.
Soon after, in the car (chariot) Caracalla would read his books and Geta would drive to the next location. (they have money so they’re target people lmao)
Pulling up to the Target, I feel like Geta would be the one most interested here. He’d walk around with a cart, acting like he owns the place but truly just looking for clothes and home decor. He loves vases for flowers and for a historical vibe.
(Gotta keep the “palace” nice.)
Caracalla wouldn’t be far behind his brother though, and he’d be complaining to Geta saying something like;
“Getaaaa. Enough with the sweaters, you have enough at home. I’m boredddd. Ughhhhh. I forgot to feed Dondas I think. Anyways, Geta keep moving or I’m going to steal your video games.”
This motivates Geta (he’s a gamer most likely bc of Caracalla) and he keeps going. A long time later, they stop to eat dinner at Olive Garden.
(Italy reference help I’m so sorry if you’re Italian and this is offensive I love you all)
The brothers sit down to eat and take time to order food. When they receive their drinks, Geta with a soda and Caracalla with a semi alcoholic drink (erasing the pain) they order.
Geta gets pasta with shrimps with a Cesar salad on the side.
Caracalla orders some chicken parmesan, some spaghetti, a chili soup, with a tiramisu as desert.
They eat and go home to their lovely mansion, decorated with a pool in the back. Dondas runs to Caracalla and his books. While they hug, Geta brings in the sweater he bought and the five different vases he got too. They watch a movie on Netflix, one titled Pompeii.
(Actually a movie btw it’s okay)
The day’s action has exhausted Caracalla, and he falls asleep a few minutes in. Geta simply smiles and continues his work from the morning. This routine keeps them happy, and keeps them bonded. He’s happy to have someone to trust. He’s grateful he has a brother.
the end <33
#emperor caracalla#caracalla x reader#gladiator x reader#emperor geta#geta x reader#gladiator ii#gladiator two#joseph quinn#fred hechinger#modern AU
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tagged by @butchdiaz for a 2024 fic roundup but I'm copying them and adding my edits in there too 🥰 this is the most I've written in a year (and by a huge margin) by virtue of me writing my longest two fics ever back to back. so hopefully next year goes similarly because I already miss writing 😭😭
May:
sounds like forever (5k)
No, he doesn't remember falling. He just remembers looking at his best friend one evening, cooping up a sleeping Christopher into his arms, murmuring ‘I got this’ to a half-asleep Eddie who'd made to carry his own son instead. He'd watched as Buck walked quiet but confident steps to Christopher's room, depositing him in bed with a whispered ‘goodnight’, and thought, in his sleepy haze, I love him.
my very first buddie fic!! wrote it a few days after finishing the show for the first time. was still finding the characters voices but it'll always be special to me
August:
Season of Hope (After the Flood) (58k)
Eddie's summer of missing his son, unrepressing more than just his sexuality, and realizing that somewhere along the way he's fallen in love with his best friend and forgot to fall out of it.
And maybe that's okay.
I genuinely still can't believe this fic exists. and the fact that it does is all thanks to @livingincolorsagain. my longest fic ever yet I wrote it relatively quickly. and I still think back on the writing process fondly. getting to figure out where the story's headed. the chapter titles. all the lovely feedback. it was such a lovely journey even the parts where it fought me lol
September:
slow motion, double vision in rose blush (20k)
Eddie has kissed a man.
Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man.
Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie. OR Buck is very normal about his platonic friend's kissing habits.
this one was literally a haze. I had an idea for them watching their first kiss through the screen and absolutely ran with it. I think that one scene in there is 12k on its own which is kinda insane. also only realized after posting that's it's my first published E rated fic
November:
merry christmas please don't call
MY VERY FIRST EDIT. my baby. I'd been thinking about getting into editing for a bit back then. but was way too intimidated to take the first step. then I heard this song on tiktok and was possessed by the ghost of shannon. and here we are
my heart is buried in venice
I still don't know how I made this one in such a short period of time. but also not complaining. loved putting the opening montage together so much
futile devices
I do. love you. yeah
December:
drawn to the blood
okay this is the first idea for an edit I ever had! idk how close I got to what I had in mind. plus it gave me hell. but it's out there now so!
What do you do about a haunted house.. (600)
a little tumblr ficlet I wrote half asleep because I was so happy I finally felt like writing again I couldn't let it slip through my fingers and risk forgetting it in the morning
so you are tired
my last edit of the year!!!! wasn't gonna post it but a told me to lol. initially it was more buddie focused. but the song is so buck I had to make some adjustments. absolutely loved cutting the song as I please lol
not to get too sappy at the end here but getting into this fandom and getting back into creating and getting to create new things and making new friends has been so so fun. thank you so much to everyone who's read and watched and said a nice thing in the tags and comments 💕💕💕💕💕
no pressure tagging @livingincolorsagain @sibylsleaves @buick118 @userbuddie @confessionseddie @chronicowboy
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hey yall!
soooo there is a situation with gracieispunk and i had a long time ago and with all this drama going on i felt like it was time to explain my side of things.
story under the cut
months ago (if you were on tumblr in september) i wanted to write a maintenance man joel x male reader but, since i started on wattpad i wanted to make sure i got gracie’s explicit consent before even writing it, around september i texted her, but she never responded.
it’s now october at this point and my friend tags me in a WIP game so i post my drafts and along with my drafts i post my maintenance man draft and at this point i couldn’t figure it the title for the of my fic so i just put “maintenance man — maintenance man!joel” and then i wanted to give me asking her another chance, so i went in here ask page and see if she was able down to talk.
she responded to my WIP and finally we got to talking
*here are the screenshots and proof that it was september that i first texted her in september, proof that she responded to my WIP game and then we talked
as you can see, she blocked me shortly after that, this is when i had a full blown panic attack and i had to call one of my best friends that helped calm me down and made me realize some things, but i couldn’t help but see if gracie had posted something about this situation, and she did.
but a couple days had passed since the situation (this happened in like a span of a week might i add) and a lot of people, whom i’ve talked about the situation with, has stated that people can’t own a character or anything and i made the conclusion that im still going to write maintenance man joel for the male audience, a whole different thing, inspiration and plagiarism are two different things!
the male community is tiny compared to the community that i don’t write for. i would understand if i was just stealing her idea, word for word, but that’s not me. at all.
i forgot to mention that a bunch of authors that i had looked up too, to come out of my shell in the writing world had blocked me, i don’t know what gracie told them, but all that i know is that a lot of authors blocked me, maybe they had their own reason, i don’t know.
but, all of this drama with basically putting small writers down, i would like to say i was one of them in a sense, where i literally almost quitted my future career. but im glad i told people about the situation and everything, because if i hadn’t, i possibly would’ve deleted tumblr and not made any of the friends/acquaintances that i have now.
so if you wanna hate me? go ahead. support me? i love you. shit on me? make me feel bad about myself? try it, i do it every day. i’m not posting this out of hate for no one at all, im just here to write and have a good time.

#support writers#sweetenerobert#gracieispunk#hate me or don't i don't care i just want to write#pedro pascal x male reader#joel miller x male reader#small writer
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pt XI good omens season 1 finale I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE, I WAS READING FANFIC.
How is this a title I'm now forced to write. Yes, I know it's been a week since I finished episode 6 with you maggots. And today is the day we start season 2. However, I, the Official Good Omens Mascot, procrastinated writing part XI, because I was reading too much good omens fanfiction. Yesterday I do believe I was reading till 3 in the morning. Thanks guys.
Season 1 finale, or whatever I can figure out with my records of the watch along chat, at least. WAHOO.
[EDIT: I'm back at the intro after finishing this post, and I realised this is a very long summary, because most of it is me yelling at you guys. As I typed it I started reliving my rage of last week. Read on if you dare, yes the post is long, and yes the second half is in all caps. THIS TOOK EMOTION. YOU GUYS BETTER REBLOG IT INSTEAD OF LIKING IT SILENTLY WHILE LAUGHING AT MY PAIN. I WANT MY RAGE EVERYWHERE ON TUMBLR.]
Someone puts a message about how Crowley can no longer sense Aziraphale's presence, and again for some reason covers it with black. My reaction is of course horrified, and then everyone tells me to STOP CLICKING THE SPOILERS, ASMI.
So that's what that was. I realise this out loud, and everyone is ready to cry with exasperation. I explain to them very reasonably that while I don't read every message on the watch-along chat, every time there is a black message I assume it's important and I click on all of them to reveal the text.
Realising the spoiler function has backfired, as most things do with me, the chat sighs and everyone goes for a break. Then someone puts another blacked out message about the bookshop, and I react to that, leading to another blacked out message which simply says STOP CLICKING THE BLACK.
Oops, I already forgot. THE SPOILERS ARE JUST TOO CLICKY. CLICK CLICK CLICK. I HAVE TO CLICK ALL OF THEM.
Someone says I forgive you, Asmi. I reply with Don't bother, which leads to tears and threats to stab me. The chat maggots give up and we start episode 6.
There is a random flashforward. I don't understand what is happening, but then again, I never do.
Back at the airfield. Crowley walks in, recognises their hubby instantly, and takes charge sexily. Then the Bentley bursts into flames.
Crowley is heartbroken. No one comforts them. When I point this out (read, YELL IT AT THE CHAT IN DEVASTATION) someone tells me that this is how it always is.
APPARENTLY DAVID WAS TOLD TO THINK ABOUT THE TARDIS EXPLODING IN THAT MOMENT. I HATE THAT I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.
Crowley needs all the therapy. Someone says kinder fanfic authors give it to him. LIES, I point out, FIRST THEY GIVE HIM EVEN MORE REASON FOR THERAPY. THEN GIVE HIM THERAPY.
Everyone is yelling about a fanfic called demonology while Adam the Antichrist feels so weird at Aziraphale being inside someone that's not Crowley that he separates them in the First Bigeneration style. Doctor Who is inspired.
Aziraphale like the babygirl he is, tries to girlboss his way through the situation by making Crowley murder the kid.
Pepper FUCKING STABS WAR IN THE NAME OF FEMINISM WITH THE SWORD OF EDEN AND THEN OTHER TWO KIDS END THE OTHER HORSEPERSONS IN THE NAME OF HOMECOOKED MEALS AND ECOFRIENDLINESS AND WHAT THE FUCK THESE KIDS ARE TWELVE WHAT PERCY JACKSON LEVEL OF BADASSERY-
Crowley and Aziraphale give a half-assed attempt at a father-son (gn) talk with the Antichrist as the world is ending. It is a terrible contribution to saving the world. The Antichrist thankfully has inherent common sense, because he wasn't raised by them.
Aziraphale tries to overshare his and Crowley's meetcute and has to be shushed by an embarrassed Crowley who is trying to keep them alive.
Satan is supposed to arrive. I mistakenly assume Gabriel is actually Satan. Which pleases a lot of people.
Gabriel and Beezlebub talk and blame Crowley and Aziraphale (who contributed exactly JACK SHIT to averting the apocalypse).
I kind of ship Gabriel and Beezlebub after seeing them interact for 30 seconds, which for some fucking reason leads to a lot of reactions and yelling. I want them to be together. Which leads to more yelling. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY CANON?
Satan arrives. Antichrist disowns him. Through the power of Manifestation, Law of Attraction and Positive Thinking, Adam is now no longer the Antichrist, Satan leaves, none of this happened and the BENTLEY AND BOOKSHOP ARE SAVED.
NO ONE IS FUCKING HUGGING CROWLEY. I'M GOING TO STAB A BITCH.
There is the bus stop scene Crowley asks Aziraphale to move in with him and they hold hands I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BY NOW THE CHAT HAS DESCENDED INTO CHAOS I'VE LOST MY BRAINCELLS.
ICE CREAM DATE AND SUDDEN INVASION AND I'M WATCHING THE ACTING AND I'M LIKE HANG ON A SECOND SOMETHING IS OFF AND I ASK SUDDENLY IF THEY SWITCHED.
THAT'S RIGHT, I ASK IF THEY SWITCHED. I KNEW THERE WAS A SWITCH AND I THOUGHT IT WAS MIDWAY THROUGH SEASON 2. BUT THE SIGNS ARE TOO MANY HERE. EVERYONE IS NOW YELLING AND PEOPLE KEEP IGNORING ME.
ALL THE ACTING IS FLIPPED I'M NOT BLIND YOU FUCKERS. AZIRAPHALE'S FACE IS DOING CROWLEY'S COULDNT-CARE-LESS EXPRESSION AND HE'S QUESTIONING HEAVEN AND CROWLEY'S TALKING HAS LESS CONSONANTS THAN USUAL AND NO CROWLEY SASS MORE AZIRAPHALE SASS IT'S THE SAME BACKGROUND AS THE NOSE-SCRUNCH SCENE AND SURELY THAT WAS AZIRAPHALE RIGHT.
EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME TO WAIT AND SEE. I KEEP YELLING THAT THEY MUST HAVE SWITCHED.
SOMEONE SAYS I'M EITHER A MADMAN OR A GENIUS. I TELL THEM I'M BOTH BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT DID THEY FUCKING SWITCH.
I'M NOW QUESTIONING MYSELF BECAUSE EVERYONE ISN'T LYING BUT THEY'RE MAKING ME QUESTION MY REALITY SO THE CLASSIC GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSSING.
I'M YELLING ABOUT HOW ONLY AZIRAPHALE WOULD BE POLITE ABOUT JACKETS AND SURVIVE HOLY WATER. EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME. I'M NOW 60% SURE I'M WRONG.
PEOPLE KEEP YELLING WAIT AND SEE AND TALKING ABOUT SADIE AND DOTTIE I HATE IT HERE.
CROWLEY IS IN HEAVEN THAT WAS HIS DISMISSIVE LOOK I'M NOW 90% SURE I'M RIGHT. I'M YELLING ABOUT IT.
ADAM LEAVES THE GARDEN IN A METAPHOR AND THEN AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY SWITCHED BACK. THEY SWITCHED BACK. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. I AM LIVID. I AM YELLING.
IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL AND NIGHTINGALES AND THEY TOAST THE WORLD AND I'M VERY EMOTIONAL BUT I'M COPING BY THREATENING MURDER BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING RIGHT.
THE END.
SEE YOU GUYS TODAY AT SEASON 2 I GUESS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
#good omens mascot#good omens#good omens fandom#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#crowley#aziraphale#lgbtqia#maggots#neil gaiman#anthony j crowley#go 1#good omens season 1#good omens 1#go 1 summary#go 1 finale#good omens livestream#go 1 livestream#aziraley#azirowley#adam the antichrist#weirdly the prophet#good omens prophet#good omens posting#good omens funny#IF MY RAGE IS FUNNY#sorry back to tagging#michael sheen#david tennant#no nightingales
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yapping about how i approached translating karamatsu's brand new world. just discussing the localization liberties i took and other things i think are interesting. i just love yapping sorry
part 1/4 because i forgot about tumblr post image limits lol
establishing my ethos: im still learning japanese but have been translating (chinese -> english) for over 7 years, so my translation skill is higher than my japanese skill. if there's anything i get wrong here pls point it out!!! i usually translate mostly songs, anime (donghua), and manga
The Title
japanese has multiple alphabets: 2 phonetic ones and 1 derived from chinese characters (kanji) that dont tell you anything about how they're pronounced
kanji characters have multiple pronunciations. for example, 心 can be pronounced "kokoro" or "shin" depending on the context it's used in.
"how do you know which kanji pronunciation to use" you guess. alternatively, media geared towards children (who have lower language skills) will sometimes spell out the right pronunciation above the kanji in little letters
sometimes people will just make up their own pronunciations for kanji for Style Points, in which case they will also spell out the intended pronunciation above the kanji
so this title actually reads "matsuno karamatsu's brand new morning". however the Style Points pronunciation guidelines indicated that this is pronounced "Brand New World". i deliberated over this for a while and ended up going with "brand new world" because the phonetic pronunciation is in english so i assume this would be the preferred title for an english localization. unfortunately this did lose the interesting double reading of "morning" and "world" but sometimes it just be like that.
Chapter 1
every time choro says something about the chopsticks in this first part, he's repeating the same thing each time: "Stop [pointing with your] chopsticks". but this 1. doesn't sound very natural in english, and 2. is too long to fit into these speech bubbles.
translations often have to take liberties due to the medium. in anime subtitles, they need to consider how fast a watcher can read the subtitles. in manga, it's often about how many words they can fit in a vertical text bubble.
the underlying impression is that choro is annoyed he even has to tell oso to stop pointing with his chopsticks (this is common sense, you're a grown ass man, why don't you know table manners, etc), so i tried to write it in a way like he's saying it short and snippy like an annoyed mom who has already reminded you 5000 times about this exact thing: Chopsticks.
oso calls totty "あざとい" here after hearing that he's trying out pancakes at a new cafe. as far as i can tell, this roughly translates to "cunning" or "sly" and is used to describe women kinda derogatorily, like a girl at the office who speaks harshly to the women but sweettalks to men (like tsunoda from aggretsuko).
i couldnt really think of a natural-sounding equivalent to this implication in english, so i settled on the kind of close "coquettish" to get across that oso is calling totty girly in a strange and insulting way. oso's dialogue here literally goes something like "sly.... you really are sly...", but since "coquettish" is kind of a weird word to use in english, i ended up localizing this around to suit my weird word choice to make it sound like oso was thinking for a second about the right word to call totty, which i also think comes off as a little more natural-sounding
japanese (and chinese) have a plural second-person pronoun, but english doesn't (besides y'all, which i did use in oso's dialogue earlier lol) which is a real headache and almost always needs some creative thinking to get sounding Normal. this was a relatively straightforward case: "how would a father address his sons as a collective?" -> "Boys"
CHAPTER 2
the dreaded jp onomatopoeia without an english equivalent. im lucky that these boys' whole gimmick is being from an old cartoon so i could get away with the very cartoony "honk" sound effect for "blowing one's nose".
the source material always translates イタい as "painful" so i do it too but i wish osmt had come out like just a few years later when "cringe" was in the common vernacular because it's a way better localization. in my opinion.
also a minor note: in the first bubble totty is actually repeating kara's words back at him "someone's? watching? me?", which is made clera by him using kara's self-pronoun (オレ) and not his own self-pronoun (ボク) (if you don't know about self-pronouns i will talk about them more in a future note). however this nuance is lost in english and could be misconstrued so i just went and made it so he's repeating back what kara said but not using the exact words
"頭おかし" does literally translate to "strange in the head" but colloquially just means "insane" or "crazy". but ichi is being really harsh to kara here, and kara does start questioning his mental sanity later in the chapter, so i went with a more harsh translation here that specifically references the head. also "YOU'RE INSANE" does unintentionally have a different meaning to most of us here on tumblr dot com, doesnt it lol
i dont know what the consensus is on giving iyami a french accent when localizing him. it's probably overkill to do both this AND keep the zansus. however i cant convey a mid-atlantic accent in writing so this is my next best way to convey that iyami talks very strangely. also it's funny
this panel was really hard to redraw. please clap
anyways same use of "strange" here as before with the head thing ("crazy") but it can also have the vibe of "abnormal". i thought "is something wrong with me?" helped convey both these meanings. come to think of it later in chapter 6 i translate okashi very literally as "strange". maybe i shouldve said "is something wrong with me" there, too....
CHAPTER 3
jyushi literally says "why do we do the olympics?" here. i localized it this way because it means essentially the same thing and is funnier. dats the art of translation babyyyyy
japanese personal pronouns quick rundown: in english we tell others to refer to us as different pronouns- him, her, they, etc., but we only have one pronoun to refer to ourselves with (I). japanese has many self-pronouns, and which one you use to describe yourself with is usually based around context and personality (some pronouns are more polite to use than others, some give off the connotation of being stuck-up or of being a country bumpkin, etc). this is helpful for characterization and also being able to tell who is talking through written dialogue
we aren't meant to know who this figure is at first, but we're also meant to have the clues to figure it out (if you were to investigate, you would find that f6 oso is the only one with full black gloves and knee high boots).
oso usually uses the masculine self-pronoun 俺, which is a rude and casual pronoun very fitting of the slacker eldest. however, f6 oso, a reliable and polite dreamboat, uses 僕, a polite and proper masculine pronoun (normal choro uses this pronoun). so this pronoun use masks the identity of this mysterious figure- but if you looked into it, you'd be able to see that this does link up to f6 oso. it's also possible the artist didnt know this and just went with 僕 to fit the fairytale prince vibe here though lol
i have no way to convey this in english so all of this is just lost nuance in translation. womp womp.
for the record these are the boys' personal pronouns:
oso: 俺 (ore can convey that he's rude, kanji alphabet can convey .... he's old-fashioned, possibly? shrugs?)
kara: オレ(ore can convey that he's full of himself, katakana alphabet can convey that he's [trying to be] stylish or loud)
choro: 僕 (boku can convey that he's polite, kanji can convey that he's proper)
ichi: おれ (ore can convey a kinda casual-lazy vibe, hiragana alphabet can convey that he's soft-spoken kinda?)
jyushi: ぼく (boku can convey that he's Just A Little Guy, hiragana alphabet can convey that he's childish)
totty: ボク (boku can convey that he's Just A Little Guy, katakana alphabet can convey that he's [trying to be] stylish and modern)
CHAPTER 4
demonstration of localization for the medium: totty's dialogue here translates most literally to "What are you talking about?", but "talking" and "about" are pretty long words that are hard to fit into that skinny dialogue bubble. "the hell are you on about?" conveys the same thing, has shorter words that are nicer to fit into a bubble, and also shows a bit more personality (and i think is a little funnier).
this part ends here becaues i forogt about the tumblr post limit. i will continue in future posts
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
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Forgot to share these two music pieces a while ago so I'll do it now I guess. Both here are linked to their version on soundcloud because it's easier than the built-in tumblr audio stuff.
First one here is an orchestral piece I wrote earlier this year called 'Winter's Immemorial March'. I think I forgot to upload it because I wasn't pleased with it at the time but right now I can't really be bothered reworking it. There is a lot in the score that doesn't really play through with the midi program which is a shame and I'm yet to convince anybody to perform this, let alone record it. The piece is about the endless march of winter and the desolation that it brings on. There are a lot of missing elements and this render really doesn't do it justice. I did for once get an image for it so it has a nice cover.
The second one is a longer funeral choral piece titled 'Hymnus Ante Somnus ~ Before Sleep' that I wrote somewhat recently. The text is a 5th century poem by Prudentius on the topic of death and forgetfulness. I think I put the full poem somewhere in the description on soundcloud and I have the score lying around somewhere else for now but that isn't really important. I don't have a cool cover picture for this so you get my cat.
I've also updated the rest of my stuff to have different pictures of my cat, just for the fun of it.
Anyways back to cat posting soon.
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Hi. I've made a post about this before, but I have more information now (and hopefully I can organize it better).
Ghoul is a n//zi. Only censoring because I tried to make this post already and it didn't show up.
Here is a list of all the social media accounts I could find that he uses so you can block/avoid him.
There is a possible tumblr sideblog I might be unaware of (edit: this has been found!). Click the read more for more details/evidence.
Twitter: xGOREGHOULx
Tumblr: previously d34d-d06-404, now gunk2d34th (warning for bright/eyestrain theme on desktop)
(Edit) Tumblr sideblog: fourexforevrrr
(Edit) Another Tumblr sideblog: dreamobjectshow
Discord server: OBJECTZSPACE
Discord username: gir4life
Pinterest: deranged_number4 + xX4_1STH3B35T1NT3G3RXx
Youtube: xGOREGUNK2009x + xGOREGHOULx
Soundcloud: xUR LOCAL GABBER KIDx + GORE GUNKZ
Pronouns.page: xGOREKIDx
Rentry: DERANGEDFOURNER (warning for bright/eyestrain/flashing gifs)
(Edit) Strawpage: gunksite (warning for flashing gifs/eyestrain)
Carrd: goreghoulquest (warning for moving/spinning/rotating background image. i'm dizzy/have a headache from it. it's a first person video game perspective of somebody spinning in circles in a brick maze.)
On October 21 2023, Ghoul posted these to his pinterest. I looked at the website page data in order to get that date, because I don't think pinterest has a clear way of showing when things were posted (and if it does, I don't know about it).
That's the n//zi salute from Kratcy (CFMOT) and n//zi uniform from Yoshka (CFMOT), complete with a red n//zi armband.
In the last one of Kratcy, the caption is HEIL, MEIN FÜHRER!!! In English, this means HAIL, MY LEADER!!! Führer is the title Hitler gave to himself when he came into power.
On October 22 2023, Ghoul posted this to his twitter.
Three drawings of Four (BFDI/BFB) wearing a n//zi armband. It's censored out in two of them, but Ghoul forgot to censor out the first one. This is an indication that he knew it was bad to draw/post, but did so anyway.
Later that day, he posted this.
Another drawing of Four wearing a n//zi armband, with a caption to spell it out for you.
On October 23 2023, he posted to his twitter again.
Another one.
On December 20 2023 (two months after all those posts), somebody on twitter pointed out the armband in Ghoul's post. The callout post got a little traction, some of the other art was found, and Ghoul was asked why he drew n//zi art. This was his "apology." I included the second screenshot so you know I'm not intentionally cutting anything out with the first screenshot.
Mania does not suddenly make you antisemetic. Mania does not suddenly compel you to draw n//zi imagery. Ghoul tried censoring two out of the three images, trying to hide it. He clearly knew it was a bad thing to do. He is using mental health issues to excuse his actions.
On December 21 2023, he answered this ask on his tumblr.
And then left this in the replies of the ask post.
Again, using mental health issues as an excuse. If you felt bad for it, wouldn't you have deleted it as soon as you got into a clear headspace? Would you not have addressed it sooner instead of waiting for people to call you out on it first? If you were truly trying to ruin your reputation, why did you try to censor some of it? It isn't "old art", either. It's from three months ago.
I'm including this screenshot so people know what the discord server looks like. I am not in this server, I only clicked the link to get the screenshot. I do not know if anybody is co-running this server along with Ghoul, or if it is only Ghoul himself running it.
I'm including this poll because I don't know if he ever made that sideblog or not. If he did, I don't know the url. If anybody does know it, please tell me. I'll leave your name out of it. I just want people to be able to block it if it exists.
(Edit) This sideblog has been found! It's @/fourexforevrrr
As of writing this post, it is January 7 2024. Ghoul has not said anything about this since and continues to post art like normal. I don't want this to be swept underneath the rug. I'm not allowing a n//zi to exist in the object show community. I don't care that he's a minor (16). This is vile.
#bfdi#bfb#bfb four#bfb x#tpot#bfb 4x#bfb 4#cfmot#xfohv#hfjone#bfdia#ii#iii#inanimate insanity#osc#dni#beware#sorry for crosstagging i just know these r the tags he's most active in#i wrote this yesterday but it wouldn't post. i'm gonna keep trying until it does
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While searching Tumblr for an old post about Ableism, I found another about Faux-Positive Disability Representation
It was a dream diary post that I wrote down so I wouldn't forget it. ... And then, I promptly forgot it.
So I'm quoting the relevant bits to restart the conversation, and maybe it'll stick, this time:
The next scene I remember is everyone, including me, seated inside, at a banquet table, being served a multi-course dinner, and having conversations on various topics. The conversation turned to disability representation in popular media (particularly TV and movies) and how some supposedly "positive" representation is actually detrimental, because it erases the actual discrimination that disabled people face, and makes systematic ableism seem like no big deal. And the example we used in conversation was the TV Cop procedural Ironside, with wheelchair-using IRL Raymond Burr as the title character. [...] And the reason it's detrimental was because although Ironside was a capable character who continued to be treated with respect and still able to do his job, even after becoming paralyzed and using a wheelchair, was that every set for every scene in the show was purposely built around his chair [...]. Every doorway, every hallway -- even in apartment buildings where suspects lived on the poor side of town -- was wide enough for him to get around independently. [...] And at this point in the dream conversation, I cited my mother (or maybe my mother was there and added this bit herself), as giving this kind of representation the name "Castle Representation" -- probably because the setting for this dream was in a castle-turned-tourist-attraction that was nowhere near as accessible as it promised to be at first (And the lucid part of my mind said: "ooh! it has a name, now! That's Clever! Remember that!)*
#an old dream rediscovered#disability representation#fake “positive” representation#“Castle Representation”#(Gentle Reader - I did not remember that)#Ironside (TV Show)#raymond burr
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Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration
Dear Everyone,
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.
First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.
I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.
When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.
I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.
I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.
Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.
You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.
That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.
The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.
INTRODUCING: The Vault
6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.
I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.
Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).
-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.
INSTALLMENTS:
1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.
2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.
3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.
4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.
5. Halloween (Smut) 18.
6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.
BONUS:
7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.
A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).
Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.
With love from yours truly,
Lizzi <3
#lizzi writes#follower celebration#valentine’s day#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x f!reader#matt murdock x you#frank castle x reader#matt murdock smut#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#charlie cox
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1000 Follower Celebration!
I'm blown away, honestly. The last time I had any notoriety in a fandom was back in, like 2007 or 2008 when I was on the Dibbuns Against Bedtime fan forums for Redwall. I was made the head of my dorm as the site started dying because I was the most active member in said dorm.
But you all? You're here because you like something I'm making? It's so wild to me. I appreciate every single one of you. Every like, every reblog, every comment. They warm me up.
I've been thinking over the last few days what I want to do. The obvious answers—prompt fills, polls to determine what I write, story snippets—I do all that with too much regularity. And I'm trying to avoid taking on more fics as I focus on the ones I've already got going.
So we're gonna do something a bit different this week.
Over the next week (From Wed 2/21 to Wed 2/28) send me the title of one of my WIPs (listed below) and I will respond with a few paragraphs. Not my usual 1.2-1.6k that I like to do for WIP Wednesday, but a few paragraphs. At the end of the week, I'll compile them all and post everything in a single post.
I won't be adding all the links like I usually do with each addition to a story until I post that final draft, but I'll tag everything with "[story name] 1000" so you can click that and follow along with the fic in some sort of order.
There are six WIPs eligible for the game! Please limit yourself to one fic per ask, but you may send in multiple asks. I will request that, for now, you limit yourself to one request per fic (aka a max of 6 requests per person). If I find that I'm able to keep up, I may waive that request in the upcoming days. But it will depend on how busy my inbox (and life) get.
Bring Me Home
Ghost!Robin
Answer My Call
I'll Carry Your Heart (Until I Find You Again)
Want to Hold On and Feel I Belong/Bad Reveal AU
Empathy!Verse
I totally forgot about the Empathy!Verse when I did my last ask game. Mostly because that has been entirely written on Tumblr and I...kinda forgot to transfer it to a Scrivener document. Ooops. 😅
Something to Feel isn't on this list because I want to dedicate my time to it today. I'm close to the end, I think, and already have one ask in my inbox about it that I totally meant to get to before now (if it's your ask, I promise I haven't forgotten you!).
Brief Story Summaries
Bring Me Home: Tim and Danny are online friends and know each other's secrets. Currently in the arc where the Young Justice and Team Phantom help Danny escape after a reveal gone wrong.
Ghost!Robin: Jason is haunted by the ghost of the Robin he used to be. Danny finds out when Jazz introduces him to Jason over a meet-the-in-laws dinner. Currently, Jason and Robin are meeting with Frostbite to learn what may have happened.
Answer My Call: Jazz is sending texts to Danny after he escaped a GIW facility and they can't talk. But it turns out Jason is the one who's actually been getting them.
Carry Your Heart: Jason and Danny meet in the Ghost Zone while Jason is dead. They become friends. But Jason runs to Desiree to wish for his life back. A wish she fulfills. Danny goes to visit him, only to find his core left behind in a lair that's in ruin.
Bad Reveal AU: Danny is living with the Waynes when he finds out they're also the Bats. He freaks out because he believes the bats are working with the government (aka the GIW). So he shoots Bruce and runs away. The bats are now trying to convince him it's safe to come home.
Empathy!Verse: Liminal!Jazz is studying in Gotham and feeling the lack of other liminals to interact with. After getting used to the undercurrent of emotion that follows all interactions with ghosts/liminals, humans just feel...flat. Then one day, she literally runs into another liminal as she's going to the library. Jason Todd. Only... he doesn't know what it means to be liminal. So Jazz is there to show him.
#1000 follower celebration#ask game#name a wip#send an ask#and I'll write you a little something#hope you all have fun with this!
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