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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 4 months ago

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Reborn Again (and again and again)

(Sanzu's bday fic with tones of angst)

(Bonten HaruMai)

It's been a while since I posted my fics here bc no spoons kept my away of tumblr ( I'm gonna try to post all of them and they are always on ao3!)

But.... Sanzu Haruchiyo birthday seems like the perfect occasion for this!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PINK GREMLIN, I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! (but I'm gonna give you angst and a lap full of Mikey, oopsie?)

(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)

Summary: Sanzu remembers his last birthday, bittersweet memories that keep his delusions afloat.

And of course, he'll never lose his faith in his king.

(even when Mikey's eyes are completely devoid of all emotion)

Warnings: Manga Spoilers (Bonten timeline, so yeah), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Suicide, Mental Health Issues (issues is an understatement xD), Toxic Codependent Relationship, Heavily Depressed Mikey, Burn Out Sanzu, Unrequited Delusional Love, and idk, is Bonten they are so totally not fine and it shows, okay?

Yeah, this fic is an emotional roller coaster, it felt like it writing it and is not less of it as a reader (or I've been told that). Oh, Sanzu is sad and horny bc you can't tell me Bonten Mikey has energy to fuck (or live)

There is a part of the fic inspired on this art, bc Mikey sleeping on Haru's lap is for some reason precious to me 💜

Sanzu was bored, his feet kept tapping the ground, his mind drifting far away from here. He should be paying attention to his surroundings, guarding the building where his king was.

Instead, he was lost in the memories of his last birthday, almost one year ago. Wondering if it would be different this time, if Mikey remembered his promise. He shook his head, immediately feeling guilty for daring to doubt it. Of course he did, Sanzu was only feeling insecure, nothing new.

(He had to repeat it as many times as necessary, to convince himself that Mikey’s eyes had not been completely devoid of all emotion for more than a month)

To be fair, the fact that Hangaki didn’t represent any type of threat to his king, wasn’t helping him focus on the present or to keep his thoughts from wandering back to the previous year.

Sanzu was having a shitty day. That wasn’t exactly unusual lately, he had become more and more tired during the last years few months. Exhausted would be the right word, but he couldn’t afford to rest, to even entertain the possibility that he should delegate some of his responsibilities to others if he didn’t want to end up completely burned out. But of course, he couldn't trust anyone else to perform his duties, so Sanzu was forced to continue stretching himself thin.

(If he was more honest with himself, he could admit that he had been falling apart for way too long. But he wasn’t, he couldn’t)

Whatever. He was used to it. He’s handled this weariness before — today wasn’t unique. He was a grown ass man, who definitely wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because everyone forgot it was his birthday. And twenty-seven wasn’t a memorable number either, so who cared?

This was just Sanzu being salty, tonight's job took up more time than he anticipated, so he had to see Takeomi’s ugly face for way too long. Yeah, it was totally unrelated to the pang of jealousy he felt when he overheard the older man explaining to Kakucho how this week was special, since the anniversary of Senju’s death was close. He wasn’t that pathetic, to hold a grudge because, even now, his sister kept hogging all the attention.

(What sister? Sanzu was an only child, his own mind was playing tricks to him again)

He sighed, using his own set of keys to open the door of Mikey’s penthouse and trying to be as silent as possible. He was fully aware his king wouldn’t be sleeping — it was getting harder each day to convince him to even try it.

It was better to be quiet anyway, at least, until he had a clue of which mood he was going to find. Would it be one of those days of empty glares and cold words, where he was only ‘Sanzu’? Or…

“Haruchiyo?”

A weak whisper, but more than enough for him to quickly locate the source. Mikey was sitting on the sofa, completely in the dark except for the dim light that came through the window, proving the outside world was still there, uncaring and merciless.

“Hey… I’m back.”

His heart sank when he got closer, finally noticing Mikey’s puffy eyes and his tear-streaked cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to comfort him, caress his beautiful face and erase any trace of pain in it. But he knew better. Years of walking on broken glass around his lover taught him better.

(Was ‘lover’ the right word? When he had to repress his own feelings, pretending there was no love in order to stay by Mikey’s side? Probably not)

“What’s wrong?”

He asked cautiously, sitting on the nearest armchair. Mikey blinked a couple of times, looking at him in awe, almost like he was processing that Sanzu was really here.

“I thought you wouldn’t come tonight.”

There was no point in reminding him that he could just text or call —that no matter what he was doing, Sanzu would leave it in a heartbeat to run to his king's side. Mikey was fully aware of it, but he refused to show this type of weakness.

“I’ll always come back to you, Mikey.”

He gave him a soft smile, hoping it was somehow reassuring. It seemed to work, considering the next moment he had a lap full of Mikey, wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s neck and hiding his face in it. He didn’t have to think twice before hugging him back and gently pulling the thin body closer.

“I’m sorry, the deal took longer than I thought.”

A noncommittal hum was the only answer he received, another sign that Mikey cared less every day about his own organization. It was fine, Sanzu could keep the gears turning and perfectly greased, waiting until his king was ready to step back in the game and take what was rightfully his.

“But I’m here now, I’m right here…”

His voice dripped with affection, his touch conveying the same feeling as he started to play with the white locks. The soft caresses spoke louder than the words he’ll never say. It was fine — he was good at hiding parts of himself, burying it with all his secrets.

(So many secrets, weighing him more every day, slowly drowning him until he couldn’t recognize his own reflection)

“You are.” Mikey finally lifted his head, looking at him like he was trying to figure out something. “Even if this morning…”

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

It was a lie, they both knew it. Of course he remembered how detached his king had been, how disgusted he looked by his weak attempt at cuddling. The cold voice, clearly commanding him to disappear from his sight. ‘Don’t you have work to do, Sanzu?’

It was a lie, one of the many he carefully crafted for Mikey’s sake. There was no need to dwell on it when Sanzu wanted to comfort him, not burden him with guilt. Especially when the cause was his own inability to hide his stupid hopes and desires.

“Apparently about nothing.”

“Yep, nothing at all.” He repeated, softly brushing a strand of hair out of Mikey’s eyes and kissing his forehead, earning a simper in return.

Wait, what? A smile? A coy one, small and probably easy to miss for anyone else. But not for him, Sanzu was able to spot the most subtle change in his king’s expression, and this wasn’t subtle. A genuine smile on Mikey’s face? And thanks to him?

Sanzu’s inner turmoil disappeared. The fatigue that he constantly carried with him was gone too. Just like that, a simple gesture from his king, made everything better, all the problems more than worth it as long as it meant protecting these rare moments of happiness.

(A necessary reminder of why he kept fighting, always so restless, refusing to let go, reinventing himself over and over)

He leaned in to cross the small distance between their lips, kissing him slowly, wanting to savor the moment. There was no rush for once, and even if he longed for more, even if his body reacted to the closeness and the familiar taste, he knew too damn well Mikey’s libido had been practically nonexistent lately.

No matter how much he yearned to go further, he’d take whatever his king offered to him without presumptions. For now, Sanzu was content with the way Mikey’s lips parted, allowing his tongue to explore freely. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning inside the kiss, realizing he sounded too desperate.

Damn it, when was the last time they actually had sex? He couldn’t recall when it was, but he could clearly see the memories – the way Mikey whimpered in his ear, his body pressed against the shower wall…

Fuck, he had to calm down before his own neediness tarnished this moment doing something stupid — Like pressing Mikey’s warm body down onto his growing erection, bucking his hips slightly, rubbing himself just enough to feel the friction against that tight ass he adored so much… Stop it, brain!

“Sorry…”

Sanzu pulled away from the kiss with a flustered face, looking at Mikey with glossy eyes and pressing their foreheads together, still catching his breath.

“Why are you apologizing, Haruchiyo?” There was a sad undertone in his voice that didn't go unnoticed. “It’s me, I can’t even give you that, you should…”

“Don’t go there.” He gently placed a finger in front of the other’s lips. “I don’t need it, okay? I can live perfectly fine without fucking.”

“But you want it.” Mikey deadpanned.

“Of course I do, because you’re gorgeous and I can’t help feeling attracted to you.” He gave him a soft peck. “And that’s on me, you don’t owe me anything, alright? Having you in my arms like this is already the best birthday gift I could ever wish for.”

“What?!”

“Nothing.” It was too late — he knew as soon as he saw Mikey’s eyes widening in a mix of surprise and clarity.

“Fuck, it’s July… That’s not nothing!” He groaned in frustration. “Did you get to celebrate it at least?”

Judging by the way Mikey looked at him, the answer to this was probably written in his face. That was the exact reason why he didn’t tell him, to absolve him of the guilt, to prevent him from falling deeper into self-loathing.

“It’s okay, we can still celebrate it together if you want-”

“It's not even your birthday anymore.”

His rage was icy cold, Sanzu was sure the temperature of the whole room dropped a few degrees. Suddenly he was freezing, despite the anger not being directed at him for once.

“Then we don’t? It’s not a big deal, really, there will be other occasions. It happens every year, right?” His gaze stared at him with disbelief. “What? I’m serious, I don’t need some fancy ass shit, this is already perfect.”

“Haruchiyo…” Whatever his king wanted to say, the way Sanzu hugged him tighter seemed to change his mind. Instead, he sighed, burying his face on the crook of his neck. “Fine. Next year?”

“Next year it is.”

He started to stroke his hair once again, wanting to leave this conversation behind. It was true, his day got infinitely better the moment Mikey sat on his lap and hugged him. Sanzu couldn’t ask for more, because there was nothing but him.

“I won’t forget it, I promise.”

Sanzu gasped at the honesty in those words, a lump in his throat that threatened to make him cry, touched by his king making a promise to him. It wasn’t going to happen, he couldn’t put his own burden on Mikey, it was his to bear alone.

(Alone and isolated inside of his own mind)

“I know you won’t Mikey, I believe in you.”

He whispered with raw devotion. He will never lose his faith in Mikey, because as long as his king kept breathing… Everything was possible.

Sanzu smiled softly, melting slightly with the memory of how Mikey ended falling asleep on his lap, of how he made sure to stay still, to not interrupt the other’s dreams. If he closed his eyes, he could see how perfect Mikey looked when he woke up hours later, well rested for once. The way his face lit up when he saw that Sanzu was still there, hugging him for hours and making sure he was comfortable. He could even feel the lingering sensation of his lips on his own… Damn it, how could he miss Mikey so much when they were almost living together?

(It was due to Mikey fading in front of him, disappearing somewhere out of his reach. No, he couldn’t admit that)

He sighed, frustrated with himself. He was doing it again, yearning instead of being grateful for what he was given.

A sudden change in the white noise from nearby pedestrians forced him to snap out of his inner turmoil. He lifted up his head, scanning the surroundings to find the source of the commotion.

Sanzu’s eyes widened with panic, the world went silent. Except for the echo of his own delusions shattering into thousand pieces, ringing in his ears for a split second that lasted for ages.

“Mikey?!!”

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outpost51 · 1 year ago

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The 51 Post

so. bad week, if the prolonged absence wasn’t enough of a clue. but! i did write a... moderate amount. listen, i've been coping with sims.

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed

get on my taglists for WIP updates, 51 post, tag games, and ask events!

BRHP: Chapter 17 posted; K A DM O S.

Unlikely Adventures, Ch 2 posted; it’s literally in the blurb but it hurt me to write too

BRHP: Chapter 16 posted; baby's first fight pit, and a family secret is revealed.

Murky Water: the 7th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; our new Keeper finds her answers.

This Week's Jams

aliens (porcelain remix) || xylø, porcelain [spotify/youtube]

avoidant attachment || libby larkin [spotify/youtube]

fire fire || flyleaf [spotify/youtube]

no care || daughter [spotify/youtube]

let the flames begin || paramore [spotify/youtube]

devil’s teeth || muddy magnolias [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

hngggg i am. behind. it’s all outlined but my god i was too tired to write much

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

[affectionately strangles zadimus]

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

[vibrates] hhhhhh i love the orville scene, i forgot how much i love the orville scene, yes i will post the orville scene this week if yall bully me (pls)

Stellar Parallax

elmorise.gif

Lighthouse in the Fog

8th short will be coming out some time tonight or tomorrow, it’s been an uphill battle to write today, anyway things have Developed in a Direction i was not Expecting

In the Works

i have noodled some of those random shuffle prompts. some of you are getting whacked with the emotions stick

From the Skwad

SSSC 006 wrapped up! see the entries here.

@thetrashbagswasteland posted a little too good to be true, a follow up to a little too much like me as their submission for MEBB 2023 and it is rife with snark

speaking of MEBB, @sparatus also published his triumphant return to His Original Bullshit: serpents in the garden and i am living. he also wrote skewed results for FFF208 bc we all need more teia

@uraniumwriting also wrote a submission for FFF208 in which caspian is forced to be a reporter for a day

we have FIVE updates from @teamdilf this week: a sweet piece in which adrien is offered some kittens, ch 20 of in-laws and the grandparents, this drabble that actually ripped my soul out through my eyes, ch 16 of man of many talents, and the first chapter of father, daughter, rocket launchers, and a side of wrex

@bambino1294 dropped the second chapter of upright tower and it was well worth the wait

@equusgirl has given us two more treats for sapphic summer: heaven or hell and if the bird likes it's cage so very much, why is the cage so tightly shut

@commander-krios wrote this squee-worthy despina/theron piece and also this stolen moment between jeff and john

@writernopal wrote a character study with mariel and sartor that i’m still thinking about actually, it’s wild to see how much the characters have developed between the first and third books

@asher-orion-writes posted another installment of fairweather YAY hhhhhh i fucked up and peeked at the last few lines before i read it and now i’m trying to wrap up so i can go eat it

Around the ‘Blr

@tabswrites blessed us with both the second chapter of ascension and chapter 4 of silver sentinels!!!

@vacantgodling’s art comms are open which i will be taking a look at given it does not fall through the holes in my swiss cheese brain, he dropped toph art that i’m OBSESSED with AND a lukewarm rejection sneep bc toph’s bday was the 7th. tell him happy birthday 4 me

bit over a week but i missed it last week — @autumnalwalker announced that the archivist’s journal is COMPLETE, so if you were ever looking for a reason to binge it, now’s the time (the anniversary is july 16th!). find it here @thearchivistsjournal

@captain-kraken dropped a sonhara lore masterpost oh my GOD

screaming crying frothing at the mouth over @liv-is’s fae headshots WOW

@void-botanist gave us the LORE on the revalo tailory & hotel and i will chew off my arm if tumblr doesn’t start giving me gd notifs about this

@artdecosupernova-writing dropped SO MANY shorts this week, so here’s the tag, go nuts; also a post on the planet holeph that i am eating with a spoon

we now have such amazing faces to put with the cast of @elshells’s agent ace (courtesy of @illjustpretend)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!

#my fic #outpost updates #if i missed you throw something in my inbox or tag me!!

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discord-area · 3 months ago

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I FORGOT TO POST THIS LEMRES BDAY ART HERE AAAAA

hi hello happy birthday lemres i dont talk much about him nowadays but i still care him a lot yeha

#monodoodles #puyo puyo #lemres

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zzl0z3rxx · 1 month ago

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Intro <3

Hii!! Erm this is my first time doing a into so pls bare with me here😭 This isn’t my 1st time on here or first acc. I was jus getting bored of my old acc so yaur

Erm so ig i’ll tell u some basic info

Im black 😭(so erm if ur racist pls stay like 6 ft away/jk but if u r racist I could care less bc I hate black ppl too 🥰/its giving uncle ruckus)

My fav emojis r:😭😔😛🥰😝💀🤓😼🙁

My fav colour is blue but I have more like sage green, red(all kinda tbh)/ any pastel colours/ and ermm I actually forgot 🙁

I draw erm yeah lol

Im problematic if u couldn’t tell 😭 but guys I promise im nice

My bday:6/26

Ermm i dont rlly have any preference for pronouns but im rlly jus used to she/her(not that im comfortable with those it’s just what my family uses bc ofc they would) but u can use any pronouns(actually no i do prefer he-him-they-them BUT ITS UP TO U GUYS BC IM A PPL PLEASER 😁😁😁😁😁😁)

Also u can call me by my real name Ari or some stupid nickname(pls make one for me) ALSO i have multiple little sonas like idk how to explain it like they’re all me/ for example:Adora Alex, Alex, Riri, Ri, Ira, Adora, and Axel and I think its more. Idk but like all them r the same person but in one IDK BC IDK IF ITS LIKE A DID THING OR NOT😭

I love-hate bugs like I made these lil comics with human designs for bugs and I love researching them but I hate seeing them irl😭 erm well im fine with grasshoppers and ants etc but others NO

Songs I like/love(NOT ALL BC WHO FINNA PUT ALL THAT)

(i love steve lacy/frank ocean/odd future/tyler, the creator/Dazey and the scouts/Destroy boys/AND LOITER SQUAD 😛😛)

ALSO IM NOT SHARING MY AGE ON HERE BC I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH DOING SO 🥰🥰🥰

My interests

Proships

Eddsworld

Among us(okay guys dont bully me but erm I used to draw among us nsfw/ IT WAS LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO DAWG😭)

Dead plate

Mitski

Tyler, the Creator(im literally getting audio cd’s for Christmas of his albums and I already have his vinyls except for bastard and goblin 😛)

Melanie Martinez

Incredibox Sprunki

Countryhumans(unfortunately 🙁/im a victim fr😔)

Countryballs ig

Ybf/your bf game(okay guys im just joking 😭)

Dick figures(I love this fandom so much, also unrelated but literally NOONE OR NOTHING CAN GET ME TO LIKE HOMESTUCK😭)

Fnf

Fnaf

My oc’s 😛

Pasta(like I rlly like pasta)

Ao3-Archive of our own

Scp

Htf-Happy tree friends

Oddbods(ik they literally don’t say shit and it’s cringe BUT I DONT GIVE A FLYING erm flip i was gonna say flip, but yeah jeff is my pookie fr 🥰🥰)

Necrophilia-other philia’s ig(idk if thats how u even spell it)

Mr. Circus Papa:Ghost eyes/The finger game/and the rest of his comics-art(some of his comics r on webtoon and other apps and u can see some art on patreon)(also bc i dont feel like putting it anywhere else, I DO NOT SUPPORT IRL INCEST OR OTHER STUFF THAT I SAID I ONLY LIKE FICTIONAL THINGS)

Erm im running out of things so MOVING ON

Also a lil not so fun fact/ I wear glasses 🥲

OKAY SO ERM I DONT RLLY HAVE A DNI BUTT(lol “butt”) I WILL SAY THIS IF YOU R LIKE 20-54(okay thats not even a possible scenario) DO NOT INTERACT PLSS but other than that ily guys :3

ALSO PLS DO DONT COME LEAVING DEATH THREATS OR HATE COMMENTS BC I WILL RECORD ME KMS/jk❤️🩷💕💕

Also this blog will be so boring and depressing 😭 like yk SH and vents and ED stuff ig but erm some other stuff this stuff will have ig(i dont wanna actually say bc yk digital footprint/lil bit too late for that bud)but like yk incest shotac0n and other crap idk im rlly lazy so I might not post at all(prob jus reblogs) OH WAIT ALSO I LIKE INVADER ZIM 🥰 forgot to mention that lol also I prob do have other interests too but idk oh I like coryxkenshin(idk how to spell his name😭) aphmau/SSSniperwolf/laurenzside and i kinda used to like inquisitor master(well I liked everyone besides her like yk sora, jaxx and etc.)

But erm guys I think that concludes this intro- OH MY OHIO SKIBIDI GYATT i forgot to tell yall, i know German 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 but erm yeah thx for reading like fr tho bc not even my friends read the stuff I write for them 🙁 but yaur (i dont think im ever doing a intro again I rather just yap irl-I hate texting 😭)

ALSO IF U WANNA BMF PLSSSSS SAY SOMETHING IM SO LONELY LIKE PLS ASK TO BE MY FRIEND IM SO FREAKING DEPRESSED( I promise im cool :३) (Also if u need to vent my DM’S r always opened! Even tho I may reply late)

I made this at 1:00-2:46 am listening to loyalty by Kendrick im going to be so tired tomorrow 😭🙏(I gotta get up at 5:00 😁)

#proship #pls bmf #weirdo #🥰🥰🥰🥰#Spotify #SoundCloud

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stelyost · 1 year ago

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Big Apology about Askbox.

Tumblr stopped showing me any indication that I had messages sitting around for years (All these messages came in the timeframe of 2019-2022, I literally just figured out how to look at the timestamp of individual asks). Contains messages addressing things related to UTAU, music, personal. I dipped in activity during those specific years due to offline things going on, so I wonder if I toggled it off and forgot about it. I'm not sure if the people who originally asked them will still be around to see my answers, but I'm going to do my due diligence and answer them all here, just so I'm caught up. I will also try to dig around and see if I can actually get that inbox notification back so I can be more on top of answers going forward. Long post incoming:

No, music is a medium meant to touch people, I'm happy to hear that it resonated with you that way. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Thank you very much for the birthday wishes! (These were from 2019, 2020)

ありがとうございました。Thank you for the bday wish. I'm very happy you like my works and my UTAU! I am continuing work on Galvan's voicebank in the background currently. Please look out for more signs of his voicebank / multipitch in the future.

Yes, I intend to do a redone / new cover of that song, as I really like it too.

Thank you very much for your support! I am happy to hear it can inspire you. If you're talking about my original music - maybe/ yes, it'll take some time to get uploaded, some songs still need work, but I started with one song so far, and it is going to be sort of an ongoing process (as I sort out what exactly I want to do with the video or art for the songs).

Hello two anons, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'm no longer interested in distributing the Electrolysis voicebank, it's no longer the representation of Denki Sai and Galvan Ize that I want to continue with.

I don't remember deleting the Mega download, but it's also possible the file ended up expiring. 極彩色 / Ultra Vivid Color was actually test covered with Galvan Ize THEORY and DenkI Sai PROOF - Not Electrolysis!

Calamari Inkantation is also Denki Sai PROOF, not Electrolysis. Galvan Ize THEORY and Denki Sai PROOF are both multipitch banks. Because of my offline issues, I haven't been able to continue with their development nor release. Thank you again for your interest, I will continue with their voicebanks in the near future.

I appreciate your concern, kind anon. I was not okay for a time, but I am okay now. Thank you very much.

Thank you!

Not currently.. I'm sorry! I will try to figure something out for fan submissions. Please stay tuned.

Ahh, this ancient relic. If you're referring to the song by Caeles, it was a song by Kaoling "The World Turns, We All Turn", with Miku - Very underrated. I meant to do a full cover and it just never came to pass.. but now that I'm reminded of it, I may consider covering it.

#steelanswers #steel.txt

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penguin--person · 1 year ago

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Alík anon back for more. 1. I still think your OCs are cool as hell. I like all of them but Alík(obviously lmao) and Nastya are my favorites.

2. I love how you portray Anya and Dima, in both your art and your fics. Your stuff is part of the reason I like them, and also their side of the PAFL story more than before.

3. Your fics are so good. You’re scary good at, like, gory ones too, like with Divergence and the one where Sanya beats you up(sorry, forgot the name). Those two fics made me feel exactly where my heart was and made me feel the bile in my stomach. I mean this in a good way. 👍🏽

4. I think this is the last thing. Also, first reason for me wanting to send this ask. I saw the alík x sanya playlist and thought “hey that’s sick as hell, lemme like that.” First thing is, are you okay with that? Can I have the playlist in my library? And second, on a funnier note, I made a playlist filled with songs that made me think of sapphic longing, and it was unintentionally very similar to the alík x sanya playlist. Which makes sense considering their relationship. I think. First songs I can think of were Wet by dazey and the scouts and Squaring Up by Sir Chloe. Oh great taste btw that’s all for now bye

ohh anon thank you.... my dearest anon...

alík doodles just for you!! chomping on a mic... ive been thinking of making like, a comic for her !! ive never rlly done one before though, so, im scared it will suck. but. whateverrr alík would love whatever i'd make!! fuck it we ball!!! ive been neglecting her a bit lately, not drawing her much and all that... so sad ... i keep getting distracted... first with nastya, now with patho x pafl, my friends ocs, i wanna draw smth for my friends bday too.. and theres a dtiys that i wanna join .. there's soo much nastya stuff you dont even Know... So much nastya lore... 90% of it is in my friend discord tho !! my friend tarot (@/tarot-the-silly-one) is her biggest fan ever and has drawn her soo much!! hes posted some of his art of her there!! tho most of it is in the server hehe... look at this thing he made of alík!!! you may have already seen it but oughhh it lives in my heart... the other character in it is his oc zhenya!!:) i love her... shes my friend..

2. heheee!!!! my swag skillz!!!

3. thank youuu!!!! lots and lots thank you!!!! i appreciate it lots <333 the sanya beats you up fic, fun fact, is named after this

bc i love it so much... this could be us but yuo killed me ten times ten fucking times sanya when will yuo learnt o love me a gentleman gamer instead of going after dumb jocks?!!?!? bitch. gamers rise up.. thank you again!!!! its always nice to hear that people like my fics!! and its awesome i made you feel sick... thats the intent im going for... hell yes... my liefs work!!!

4. ya ofc!!:D you can like any of my playlists 👍unsure if i've shown you the alík one? well !! here's alíks playlist and nastya's playlist <33 hehe... thank youuu!! coolest anon of all time

#alikcore #mm... gonna make a tag for ya if ya appear again and gonna try to tag your previous asks too #if i can find them #hmm #what shall i call you #swagnon? no... hmm..#alín... alon.. hehe... hmm #ur my passing ship in the night anon... i know nothing about you yet ur so sweet and nice ... yeah that syour name now. unless you tell me #to give you another one or if theres a specific tag you wanna have 👍 im Assuming youll send me more asks after this !! which is why im maki #ng the tag and also wanna have your nice messages in a neat pile.. thank you for asks also!!!! alwayscheer my day up #nonymous

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