#i forgot to make a starter call fuck lmao

[hausofwoo]

handy | choi san

pairing: choi san x afab reader

word count: 5K

summary: you move into a shitty apartment with a long list of maintenance issues. your landlord puts off sending someone to fix them, only making your frustrations grow. that is, until the maintenance man finally arrives and you discover that he's hot... and you find yourself making excuses for him to keep coming back.

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, maintenance man!san, tenant!reader, reader is kind of a perv lol, unprotected piv (wrap it up!), oral (f receiving), san is a tease, fingering, hair pulling (m receiving), cumplay, kitchen counter sex!!!, he kinda throws u around hehehe, choking, dacryphilia, use of a petname (baby), lmk if i forgot anything!

author's note: umm.... hahaha um...... so this is lowkey based on a recent experience i had of my maintenance man coming to fix some shit in my apt and he strangely had SO much rizz and i was like wait a minute.... this could be a great fic idea LMAO thank u to @hausofmingi for being my beta-reader ily always ♡

when you signed your lease at your new apartment, you didn’t expect to sign up for a list of problems.

you desperately needed a new place to live, and with the measly budget you had for rent, all that was left available were slim pickings. so when you finally found a small 1 bedroom apartment that wasn’t double your desired price, you jumped at the opportunity. you applied for the place on the spot and were approved the same day. you didn’t really think anything of it, but when you finally got settled in and actually gave a good look at your newfound home… you were in for a fucking nightmare.

for starters, the window unit in the bedroom wouldn’t blow cool air. it’s right in the heat of the summer, so coming home after a long day only to sweat all night long was not cutting it for you. you put in a maintenance request through your tenant portal app the first day when you realized this.

another annoyance was the dishwasher. one of your biggest must-haves was to have an actual working one. maybe you were asking a bit much with your budget, but with the amount that you work, it was imperative. you were thrilled to see the dishwasher during the viewing, only to find a few days worth of dirty dishes later, that said dishwasher was rusty and moldy. literally unusable. so you put in another maintenance request.

last one, and maybe now you’re just getting picky because you’re pissed, but your shower water pressure sucked, and by the time you would finish a shower, the water would take forever to drain. another request sent.

all these maintenance requests and not a single one fixed. you started to wonder if the tenant portal app even worked, so you called your landlord, only to grapple with them on finding a time for them to fix it while you’re still home. you might want these things fixed asap, but you’re not willing to let a stranger in your space when you’re not there.

you started to fucking lose it. a few weeks with no cold air, shitty water pressure, and dishes piling up your sink, and not one thing being done about it. you call your landlord one more time, urging them to finally fix these issues, arguing that they should’ve been fixed before you even moved in. and with that last push, they finally caved and did their fucking job. they said they’re sending someone there first thing tomorrow.

so when you finally wake up and go about your day-off routine, you’re constantly watching the clock. when they said “first thing tomorrow,” did they mean “first thing tomorrow once the maintenance man feels like it”? because it’s already pushing noon and you’re getting impatient. it’s obnoxious; you’re not able to run any errands (let alone actually go out and enjoy your day off) and you’re just waiting around for some dude to actually do the job you’ve been asking for for weeks.

just as you find yourself dialing the landlord’s number, you hear a knock at your door. fucking FINALLY. you jump off your couch, mind spewing profanities out of frustration. you walk towards the door, ready to give this stupid maintenance man a piece of your mind. you swing open the door, and your heart drops.

the maintenance man stands before you, with a tight black tank that hugged his muscular build and dirty worn jeans. he has a tool belt strapped to his (surprisingly small?) waist and a heavy tool box gripped in his hand. he’s a little dirty, and his chest is shiny with sweat due to the humid outside air. his rugged exterior is a huge juxtaposition to his face, however, with sharp yet kind eyes and a sweet smile.

“you need some maintenance done?” he asks.

“oh, uh, yes,” you stumble, suddenly at a loss for words. “come on in.” you hold the door open, allowing him to walk through to your living room.

“so you’re having issues with your water pressure?” he says, looking around the apartment.

“yeah, that and a few other things,” you reply. “but the biggest thing is the window unit in my room. it doesn’t blow any cold air.”

“i can fix that,” he looks at you with a grin. “which one’s the bedroom?”

you walk him to your room, thanking god he can’t see the blush forming on your face. he walks in and places his tool box down, promptly inspecting the window unit.

“i’ll just let you do your thing,” you say, twiddling your thumbs. “i’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

he nods, and you go back to sit on your couch. you mindlessly scroll through your phone, all while spiraling in your head. did your landlord hire this guy from a fucking modeling agency? he has the build for handyman work, that is certain. however, his face is what’s really getting to you. he could be on the cover of vogue and you wouldn’t bat an eye. but there he is, working on a shitty a/c window unit in your room.

you suddenly become hyper aware of the appearance of your bedroom. what does he think about your decor? is he cringing at the plushies sat on your bed? what if you left a pair of underwear out? oh my god, did you leave your nightstand drawer open, with your vibrator out for the whole world to see?

“it looks like you’ll need a whole new window unit,” he says from your room, interrupting your swarming thoughts. “this one doesn’t even have heat, and you’ll need that for winter.”

“oh, yeah,” you say, getting up and standing in your bedroom doorway. “how long will it take to get a new one? this heat has been brutal.”

“i should be able to bring one tomorrow, if you’re available,” he says, turning back to look at you as he closes up the tool box.

“i’m available,” you say all too quick. dude. be cool. “i mean, yeah, i can try to get off work a little earlier, maybe at like 3?”

“works for me,” he smiles, standing up. “can i get your number?”

you can’t hide your blush this time, nodding at the insinuation, but knowing it was just to iron out arrangements. “here,” you say, opening your phone messages so he can send himself a text.

he types away and hands your phone back. “you need a new dishwasher too, right?”

“i do,” you confirm.

“i can try and get you one by tomorrow too,” he says. “i’m off duty by like 5, so hopefully i’ll have enough time. now the shower?”

you nod and lead him to your bathroom. he examines the shower head, and you watch your cat approach him from behind.

“oh my god,” he says, startled at your cat rubbing against his leg. “this little dude came out of nowhere!” he reaches down to pet him, all while he’s purring up a storm.

“wow, he really likes you,” you stand shocked. your cat is always so standoffish to strangers, usually hiding under your bed or couch. but he’s rubbing against your maintenance man’s legs like he’s best friends with him.

“cats tend to really like me, i don’t know why,” he chuckles, scratching at your cat’s head. “what’s his name?”

“leo,” you say.

“like the zodiac sign?” he looks up at you while still petting him.

“yeah, i wanted to name him after his own sign but he’s a cancer, soooo…” you trail off, awkwardly fiddling with your hands.

“i’m a cancer!” he lights up, looking back down at leo. “no wonder we get along.”

you smile, and then realize you’re staring again. “i’ll go back in here so you can work.”

after distracting yourself with your phone again for a bit, you look up and see the man starting to walk out the bathroom doorway, already with his things together.

“okay, it should be good now, but let me know tomorrow if there’s any issues,” he says. you nod to him and lead him to the front door. you open the door and he walks out, but turns to you before he leaves. “so, i’ll see you tomorrow?” he has a smile on his face, with a hint of something behind it that you can’t quite read.

“yeah, tomorrow,” you say.

after locking the door behind him, you slump onto the couch with a big sigh. that was somehow the most nerve-wracking thing you’ve ever experienced. you remember he texted himself on your phone, so you open your messages and see the unsaved number.

sent 12:28 pm this is san :)

you can feel heat rising to your cheeks. even a stupid smiley face in a text has got you kicking your feet. you text him back, telling him your name and a quick thank you.

dear lord. this man didn’t even do anything, but he will be the death of you.

you come home early the next day, even earlier than you mentioned. partly because you wanted to clean up your place a bit, but the other part to mentally prepare yourself for a hot man in your apartment again. you clean up your room, tidying up so it looks a tad better than it did the day prior. once you’re done, you find yourself fixing up your makeup, realizing you’re putting way too much effort into seeing a fucking handyman fix your a/c.

are you really doing this? intentionally getting dolled up for this?? haha never! right….?

you hear a knock at your door and jump up. you check yourself in the mirror one last time, fixing the gloss on your lips. you go to open the door to reveal san, standing in front of you again with a familiar sweet smile on his face. you smile back too eagerly.

“i got your window unit!” he says, nodding down to the large box in his hands.

“oh, come in, that must be heavy!” you say, ushering him into your living room.

“mind if i go in your room?” he asks.

“of course, please,” you say, opening your bedroom door and letting him set the box down. you attempt to subtly watch his arms flex as he drops it. oh my god he is so hot.

you retreat to the living room as usual, allowing him to work in peace. you work on some things on your laptop to pass the time, but the thought of this man working on your a/c, muscles protruding, sweat glistening… it’s all too much of a distraction. you decide to put your ear buds in, trying to drown out your own perverse thoughts. you finally are able to hone in on your work, catching up on the things you couldn’t finish during your shift today since you left early.

you don’t realize that san finished installing the window unit until you feel a hand on your shoulder, making you jump.

“oh!” you stammer, pulling an ear bud out. “sorry, what’s up?”

san has a smile creeping on his face. “my bad, i didn’t mean to scare you. i just wanted to let you know i finished putting in the unit.”

“that’s great, thank you so much,” you say, standing up. “did you get the dishwasher today too?”

“yeah i did,” he says, but then he checks his phone for the time. you realize it’s about to hit 5 pm, and he said he’s off by that time.

“you’re almost off, i forgot,” you say apologetically. “you can just come back another day?”

he checks his phone again, contemplating. “well… i mean i already have it in my truck, so i don’t mind working a little bit over my time.”

“you really don’t have to, san,” you plead.

“it’s okay,” he says. “i’ll be right back with it!”

he exits your apartment, giving you a moment to kick yourself. having a dishwasher that works would be so great right now, but you feel guilty for having him work past his time. another part of you wants him to go anyway, if it meant he would come back again.

you hear a loud noise outside your front door, so you open it to see san with the new dishwasher on a dolly. you hold the door open for him, allowing him to enter your apartment and bee-line to the kitchen. he props the dolly down to drop the box.

“i should be able to finish this in about an hour, is that okay?” he asks, already unboxing it.

“as long as you’re okay with working this late,” you shrug.

“i don’t mind at all,” he smiles, looking up at you.

“okay, i’ll just be in here,” you point behind you, gesturing to the living room.

“alright, dishwasher is done,” san says, walking into the living room with a broken down empty box in one hand and dolly in the other.

“thank you so much,” you smile.

“is there anything else you need then?” he inquires, quirking up an eyebrow.

a moment of silence washes over the room momentarily, with you wracking your brain trying to find a reason for him to stay longer. but you push that away, knowing he’s been working way too long past his scheduled time.

“no, i think that will do it,” you sigh, unintentionally sounding disappointed.

“well,” he mumbles, toying with the box in his hand. “well you have my number, so if you need anything, feel free to shoot me a text.”

you walk him to the door, thanking him. he stands out in the hallway, you looking at him out your front door.

“really though,” he insists. “if you need anything.” with one last sweet smile, he leaves.

so what does he mean by that? “anything.” maybe you’re delusional for thinking there’s a hidden meaning behind that statement. as in, you can text him if you want him to fuck your brains out, “anything?” definitely not, but your mind wanders at the thought of it; that he’d drop everything and book it back to your apartment, heaving and sweaty, ready to take what’s his. you’re actually fucking crazy.

and to make yourself even crazier, the next few days you find yourself itching to get another reason to have him come back. you check your kitchen sink’s water pressure, it’s fine. you test out the stove for the first time and it cooked your food perfectly, no gas smell. then you find something. one of your kitchen drawers won’t close completely. it’s something small, but enough to put in a maintenance request. for the first time since you moved in, you feel grateful you live in a shitty apartment.

you swing the door open, happy to see the cute grin san always gives you the moment he sees you.

“sooo… a drawer, huh?” he quips with a hint of a teasing tone.

“y-yeah, i tried to fix it but i don’t know what i’m doing wrong,” you defend, rubbing the back of your neck.

“i can fix that,” he says, passing into the kitchen, tool box in hand. you’re ready to retreat to your living room as usual, but san stops you. “you know, you don’t have to wait around in your living room for me to finish. i like having company.”

“oh,” you mumble, turning around. “i thought you might want privacy while you work.”

“no, it’s okay,” he says, opening his tool box to grab a few items. “if you wanted, you can hang around. i like learning about the tenants i’m working for.”

“okay,” you murmur. you open a kitchen cabinet to grab two mugs. “do you want some tea?”

“i would love some tea,” he says.

you put the kettle on the stove, heating up some water. you chat with san about work, how many units he has to visit in a day, about the interesting tenants he meets, how long he’s been doing this. once the kettle starts whistling, san is already finished fixing the drawer, placing it back into it’s assigned slot. you can’t help but feel disappointed that your time with him is almost up. you put the tea bags in the mugs of hot water, offering one to san.

“i know you’re done, but if you still want it,” you say, and he accepts the drink with a grin. you both sit at your kitchen table, continuing to chat. your cat leo enters the kitchen, going to straight to san’s legs to rub against him.

“there’s my boy,” san coos, scratching leo’s head.

“i still can’t get over how much he likes you,” you laugh. “he’s never this friendly, he’s only like this with me.”

“he seems friendly to me,” san says. “maybe he just has good taste in people.”

you chuckle, wondering in the back of your mind if he meant that about you too.

san checks his phone, realizing the time. he sets down his tea and stands. “i should probably get out of here, there’s another tenant waiting for me.”

“i didn’t mean to keep you—”

“no no,” san interrupts. “it’s okay. i really liked this. not a lot of people are this welcoming.”

“of course,” you reply, standing up with him. “i—i really liked this too.”

san smiles, biting a bit at his lip. you look at each other for a moment, feeling an intriguing tension in the air. he finally shakes head, going to grab his things to go. you walk him to your front door. you say another thank you, about to close the door.

“like i said,” he repeats, leaning against the door frame. “anything.”

you hadn’t seen san in over a week. it was driving you mad. you became addicted to his energy, to his warm greeting at your front door, to the lingering gazes you shared. you didn’t have any reason to see him again, and you needed to find another. so you did something you’re not entirely proud of… something that an actual crazy person would do. you loosened a bolt on a pipe under your kitchen sink, allowing water to trickle the smallest amount in the lower cabinet.

listen. you know it’s bizarre at this point, but you had to see him again. it’s not like anything would happen; he’d probably just fix it up, have another nice chat with you, and be on his way. is it so bad that you meddled with your sink just to see him?

when san arrives, he has that all-knowing grin on his face the moment you open the door.

“the sink now, hm?” he asks.

“yeah,” you chuckle anxiously. “the sink.”

he goes to the kitchen and inspects the pipes under the sink. you lean against the counter, hoping to god he doesn’t notice that the pipe didn’t magically get loose.

“ah i see,” he laughs to himself. “it’s just a loose bolt. easy fix.” he tightens it with his tools, quickly finishing.

“oh, haha,” you say, nerves bubbling in your stomach. “i guess i could’ve done that.”

“you know, it’s so interesting…” he trails off, standing up to face you, running a hand through his hair.

“what?” you ask.

“i’ve never had to do so much maintenance work for one tenant before,” he says, sly grin across his face. fuck. do you think he knows?

“and i swear, that bolt kinda looked like it was loosened by a wrench…” he trails off again, stepping closer to you. HE KNOWS.

“n-no, i would never,” you defend, feeling backed against the counter.

your eyes are locked on san, wandering over his built frame, over his sharp features. he’s inching closer and closer, and you feel your breath hitch. he catches your trailing eyes as if to ask for permission, and leans in to kiss you.

finally, the thing you’ve been wanting so bad from him, to feel his lips against yours. he cups your cheek with one hand, letting you melt into his touch. your lips part to allow his tongue to slide in, deepening the kiss with fervor. his form pushes against yours, pressing you against the kitchen counter. his hands begin to wander, grazing from the side of your face down to your waist. he holds you in a tight grip, pulling your hips forward to meet his. you can feel him harden in his jeans as he lets out a groan against your lips.

“you did this on purpose, hm?” san says, separating from your lips. he lifts you up and places you to sit on the kitchen counter in one swift motion. he kneels to the floor, grabbing at the waist of your pants. “just to see me?”

you nod emphatically, watching as he pulls down your pants and underwear. the cold air hits your core and you try to close your legs, but san pushes them back open to admire you. putting your legs over his shoulders, he runs his fingers against your folds, eyes drinking in the sight of you. you shudder at the feeling, knowing all too well that he’s already got you soaked.

“you like seeing me like this?” he whispers, looking up at you. “i bet you imagined me like this, between your legs.” when his fingertips graze over your clit, your body lets out a shake, and he knows he found what he wanted.

he attaches his mouth to your core and places a firm hold on your outer thighs. licking stripes up to your clit, each stroke of his tongue feels like heaven. he dips down to your hole, dragging your slick upwards. he moans at the taste of you, devouring at you with more passion. your hands grasp at his hair, relishing the stimulation.

he tugs his head back, looking as pussy-drunk as ever. “i imagined you like this too,” he moans, lips still hovering over you. you unintentionally tug at his hair, yearning for his mouth back on you. “i wanted you so bad the moment i saw you.”

he releases a hand off your thigh and snakes it back between your legs, teasing at your hole as he goes back to circle his tongue around your clit. he looks up at you as he slides his middle finger in, watching you crumble at the feeling. once he can tell you’re comfortable, he slides in another, slowly starting to pump them into you. you whimper at the feeling, walls contracting around his fingers.

your moans are uncontrollable, and he matches them, letting the vibrations enhance the stimulation. he curls his fingers into you, hitting that perfect spot. he can feel your core clenching more erratically, causing him to pick up the pace, but maintaining a steady rhythm. his tongue flicks at your clit just right, making you squeeze your eyes shut and tighten the grip on his hair.

“s-san,” you let out. “i’m gonna cum.”

he detaches from you briefly, still finger fucking you. “cum for me, baby, i want to taste you.” he immediately latches back onto you, eating you like his life depends on it.

you feel a wave of pleasure wash over your body, feeling like chills. you’re shaking now, unable to control the sheer amount of bliss your body is experiencing. you moan out to san, coming undone on his tongue. he continues to work at you, allowing you to ride out the entirety of your orgasm.

he finally disconnects from you, pulling out his fingers coated in your essence. he licks them clean, looking up at you with the same look of desire. he stands up, promptly placing his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. you can taste yourself on his fucked-out lips, and it makes it that much hotter. you can hear him fumbling with his belt, and your hands reach down to help. you place your palm over his bulge, it twitching at the contact.

san separates from you, letting out a heavy sigh. he pulls himself out from his underwear, rubbing the tip at your spent pussy. he looks down and lets a string of his spit hit his throbbing cock, spreading it around the expanse of it with his hand. he angles himself into you, and slowly starts pushing in. you gasp at the size, him stretching you out much more than his fingers initially did. he takes it slow, acknowledging the whimpers leaving your lips.

once he’s fully inside, he groans. “god, you’re so fucking tight.”

he watches himself enter you as he starts rolling his hips into you. he places a hand on the back of your neck, pushing you towards him for a messy kiss. he starts to pick up his pace, earning a sharp hiss on his lips in between kisses.

“you feel so good,” he murmurs to you. “i knew you would feel good.”

you moan in response, completely unable to form any words. all you know is that the stretch of his cock is deliciously painful, and the sweet kisses he’s peppering over your neck gives you goosebumps all over. you can’t even believe this is happening right now, that your fantasy of fucking your maintenance man is coming true, and it feels even better than you imagined.

“you wanted this so bad,” san teases, continuing to piston into you. “for me to fuck you like this. you probably imagined it, touching yourself the moment i left.”

and he’s right, you found yourself needy and horny after every visit he made. you couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing your vibrator and pretending he was the one fucking you, not yourself. but the feeling of the real thing was much different, much more euphoric. to have his chest heaving in front of you, sweat beading on his temple, desperate energy emanating from his body, saying i want to have all of you.

suddenly, he lifts you from the kitchen counter, holding your thighs firmly with his cock still in you. something about the fact that he can completely hold you up, still bouncing you on him even… you feel like his little play toy that he’s throwing around. he takes you to the bedroom, dropping you down on your bed and landing on top of you.

he wastes no time in sliding back into you, desperate to continue feeling your tight walls around him. his body is hovering over yours, your legs tangled as he thrusts into you. he pecks around your neck, hand ghosting over your throat as if seeking permission. you place your hand over his, allowing him to choke you until you’re lost in a euphoric haze.

his thrusts become more intense and forceful, each stroke sending chills down your spine as his length reaches deeper inside you. you swear you’re shaking the whole bed, the headboard repeatedly slamming against the wall. you’re so clouded by pleasure that you barely even notice he’s fucking you so hard that he’s pushing a dent into the wall from your bed frame.

“i can fix that,” san whispers with a smile, not even bothering to stop.

you let out a chuckle, then press a soft kiss to his lips. his hips begin to slow, as though he’s really taking his time to melt into you, to feel every part of you. he then lifts up to hit a new angle inside you, gripping your waist and slamming your hips into his with powerful, deliberate motions. you move your hand to your clit, feeling your walls tighten around his throbbing cock. your vision blurs, tears starting to well up in your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.

“you gonna cum for me?” san asks, sensing the irregular pulsing of your core. you nod up at him, eyebrows furrowed and lip caught between your teeth. “cum on my cock, baby, let me feel you.”

your orgasm builds to a peak and then cascades over you, sending you into a state of pure bliss. san is still fucking into you, extending your orgasm while still chasing his own. it’s not until his hips begin to falter that you feel him shoot ropes of his cum into you, filling you completely. his moans echo yours, his hips gradually slowing until he finally comes to a stop.

he pulls out of you, falling next to you on the bed. the room is filled with the sound of your heavy breathing as it gradually returns to a normal pace. you look at each other, smiling with a shared understanding of the unexpected moment you just experienced. he wraps his arm around you, drawing your head to his chest to where you can hear his heartbeat.

“sooo…” you chuckle softly, pointing at the dent in your wall. “you’re gonna fix that, right?”

san grins, pulling you closer. “i mean, i can, but then i’d have no reason to come back tomorrow.”

“now that i think of it,” you say, chuckling. “i think there’s probably a few more things that could be fixed…”

“anything you need,” he says. “anything.”

a/n: guys this was so fun to write, i hope u enjoyed it too!! something about san lately oml... plz leave feeback as i'm new to writing, and reblog to support me! it motivates me to write more!

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[m1ckeyb3rry]

AHAHA WAIT yuki stealing the show again with a badass entrance i love it

DARK ON DARK TYPE HATE CRIMES /j LMAO I think it’s pretty common for deino to have relatively volatile personalities too so that’ll be really interesting but LMAOO reader catching deino out of necessity so it doesn’t trash their campsite is so funny Karasu comes back to like half their things a mess and a bunch of used quick balls on the floor like “what the fuck just happened” and readers like “I had to use ur quick balls to save the world teehee” I’m laughing so hard otoya would so do that nurse joy asks him to uncover and entire underground abuse black market scene and hes like “anything for you babygirl” meanwhile reader who stepped away to stock on potions comes back and is like “you agreed to WHAT”

The one thing yk I won’t forget is that gorgeous graphic it’s burned in my mind dw but swapping out houndoom for each main pokemon mmmm yes imagine lining them all up side by side after they’re done that would look so clean

NAH FR I’m pretty sure I read that shortly before we started talking I’m ngl that’s probably one of the bigger influences of me requesting fwtkac

SHSHSHS wait yeah I forgot that a good amount of people don’t know the concept of familial/platonic love dw we manifest pursuit will be THE piece to enlighten the community then they’ll all understand the wonders of non-romantic love

LMFAOAOA I forgot that’s one of the starter picking scenarios he would so be that professor (Niko saving his ass would be SO funny Niko coming in clutch in oaeu and pursuit)

Wait also kinda unrelated but pursuit got me thinking…so it’s set in kalos right…do you remember that one plot involving the zygarde zygotes (idr what they’re actually called) but iirc in the show too the gang carries around one of the zygotes only later it’s revealed that they come together to form zygarde imagine otoya picks one up eventually and hes like great another weird looking small cute useless thing until one day it turns into a zygarde and he finally gets his badass pokemon moment (idk if we’re keeping this game or show consistent so even if he doesn’t catch zygarde he’ll still get to battle alongside it maybe or sth)

LMAO wait you writing on your iPad is insane for some reason I imagined it being a computer…actually now that I think about it if you have one of those cases that flips into a keyboard that makes sense but whenever I type on the iPad screen keyboard my typos increase like tenfold and my speed drops to like zero idk why I just HATE the feel of it LMAOOO

Yeah I’m also very confused (as usual with jjk) so yeah seems like last chapter is a mission?? Wait I didn’t even register that in three days all the pain and suffering will come to an end guys what!!!! I did hear some people talking that there’s hints pointing to some form of a sequel and I’m just like HUHH but ig we’ll find out in like three days

I bet when aiku offered only to split the dessert Niko was like “I’m not getting paid enough for this shit”

HAHAHA Karasu the only home wrecker I’ll accept I’m gonna miss the aikulations /hj but VERY EXCITED LMAOO Reo said “no I don’t want otoya cooties” or imagine alternatively we get evil team v Reo with “I don’t take advice from anyone shorter than me” LMFAOOOO

IM FR EATING JT ALL UP like what’ll Mira put out next/whats gonna happen next week I’ve said this a bunch before but your world building/development skills>>>>> makes the whole story a lot more fun to read and a lot more immerse esp for me personally I end up visualizing everything fr like an episode of a show in my mind so I love all the little details and Easter egg like things too!! You might think I’m kinda insane but I think esp because I’ve been slowly watching the bllk dub version whenever Barou was like “you fucking donkey” I read it in his dub voice LMFAOO

SHDSHSHA no it’s ok this way people get to marinate with their thoughts of s2 and then once you open them back up you’ll get the best of the best ideas that have been brewing in peoples minds and have been given time to age and develop!!!! Idk how you keep track of so many if it were me I’d probably end up replying to the wrong one LMAO

- Karasu anon

YUKI ALWAYS COMING IN W THE BADASS ENTRANCES omg wait imagine karasu’s inspired to get a ground type after seeing steelix in action against electric types and that’s why he’s so quick to grab gible

if you think about it the entirety of pursuit is just dark on dark hate crimes LMAOOO between the houndoom v houndoom battle, houndoom and deino disagreements, and literally all of barou’s team it’s fr just dark types going insane FJDJDHSJ okay wait it would be funny if he got mad at her but lowkey in my mind he’s like really worried at first maybe because she lowkey had to chase the deino?? so he gets back and the campsite is trashed and she’s nowhere to be found and he’s like uhh wtf and freaks out until she comes like “look at my new pokémon karasu 😄” AHAHAH that’s his first experience with reader just randomly going missing/dying…wait because the way i just went on an entire rant about how they’re strictly platonic/familial but now i kind of need him ☹️ i need to get back to thinking of more nagi scenes or else i’m going to swerve JFDJDJJS

HELP THAT’S EXACTLY THE VIBE TOO since in kalos the pokémart and pokémon center are in one building it’s even funnier because she’s literally at the checkout line and she overhears him and she’s like HELLO ⁉️ AT LEAST GET TULLIA AND KARASU TO COME THEY’RE THE ONES WITH SOMEWHAT FULL TEAMS 😰 but tullia and karasu are up to smth (ZERO idea what) so it’s truly reader otoya froakie and houndour against the world…the craziest part is that they’re actually successful LMAOOO I LOVE THEM truly a dumbass x dumbass chemical reaction (this scenario is def also a plus one to the karasu freak out tally JFDJDJSJ he and tullia get back to the pokémon center and are like “where are y/n and otoya???” and nurse joy’s like “busting a pokémon abuse ring for me 🥰” insert many expletives from our fave baby crow who immediately freaks out and goes to collect them only to find them just chilling because by that point they’ve already managed to bust the ring so it’s like nbd)

AHAHA I DO LOVE THE PURSUIT GRAPHIC IT’S SO PRETTY i think it would be fun to have the diff pokémon there for the side stories esp because they all have pretty sprites for their art since most of them are from the earlier gens when the art was still really good 🥹 omg i’ll def make a compilation of all of the headers too that would def be top ten most aesthetic m1ckeyb3rry posts LMAOO

FRRR like yes we’ve got this dramatic amazing slowburn going on with nagi but at the same time our friendships with tullia karasu and even otoya are so important to the story?? as well as the barou x reader cousin bond…considering how many people loved the gojo and reader bond in pomegranate ink i think barou and reader are def safe it’s just people mighttttt swerve to karasu especially because i like him as a character so i’ll definitely glaze him when i write him vs otoya won’t get quite the same treatment HAHAHAAH (love him too but he’s very bullyable so he gets to be menaced by tullia instead)

IMAGINE AIKU GETTING CHASED INTO A TREE BY A ZIGZAGOON LIKE PROFESSOR BIRCH 😭😭😭 and then niko has to save him…actually aiku lowkey gives professor birch hold on

wait this is too good I’M CRYINGGG old age did my man aiku dirty (this is def making it into its own post i’m sobbing at this)

i’ve considered adding legendaries into pursuit especially because xerneas is one of my fav legendaries but for some reason i feel like it takes away from the feel of the verse?? it’s meant to be a bit of a different look at the pokémon world while not getting too crazily violent like some au’s do and since the legendaries are meant to be gods i think that IF they appear it’ll be very awe inspiring and terrifying…lowkey otoya does kinda look like zygarde if i was assigning legendaries he’d def have zygarde, nagi would have mew, karasu would have zekrom, reo would have suicune, chigiri would have zapdos, tullia would have cresselia, reader would have rayquaza (just based on her team’s vibes…going off of hers alone she’d probably have like diancie or shaymin or smth)

FJFJSJSJ YES I HAVE A KEYBOARD CASE i do have a laptop as well but it’s windows since most programs run better on windows and i write on apple pages so i can also write on my phone in a pinch which is why i have to use my ipad!! i used to use my laptop and google docs but in 2021ish i got my ipad w the keyboard case because it’s easier to carry around and fit into bags than a whole laptop…google docs is kinda glitchy and crashes a lot (there’s also a lot of ai rumors w them but idk how true those are so they didn’t impact my decision) especially once documents get longer and you know how much i write (i had to split pomegranate ink into three separate google docs) so i switched to pages in 2023!! i actually really like it much more than google docs i’d say…the customization options are much more fun and accessible and it runs way nicer without freaking out. but it does mean i can’t use my laptop to write sadly 😓💔 for a month my laptop was getting repaired so i had to borrow my uncle’s which is a macbook and it was SO NICE being able to write on my phone, laptop, or ipad as i chose but sadly all good things come to an end and now i’m back to my ipad and phone alone (i love my ipad though it’s super fun and functional that’s also where all of my silly diagrams are sketched out and notes are scribbled before outlines get upgraded to notion so it is nice having everything on one device for sure!!)

i feel like there must be a sequel there’s so many weird things that have been introduced in the last few chapters??? like that random ass old lady idk 😭 can’t believe we might have jjk boruto…tbh idek if i’ll read it if so because i’m very much not into the story arm 😓 ig i’ll probably learn what’s happening in it by osmosis/tik tok but anyways…we’ll see what happens ig

HAHAHA we still get aikulations in the nagi version, the yukimiya version, and ofc aiku’s own version 🤩 otoya reo and karasu do not have any aiku povs though sadly ☹️ but he’s still there still goofy and still keeping things silly so it’s all good

STOPP I’M BLUSHING for me i can clearly envision the scenes i’m writing in my mind like SUPER SUPER clearly as if i’m watching it happen in a show so i’m not writing or coming up with something new i’m just describing what i’m seeing in my head?? maybe that’s where the immersive feel comes from either way i’m glad it’s coming through!! and i’m actually thinking about dropping something very special tonight hehehe you might go crazy when you see it (no promises though so if you see this and are like “what is she talking about” i either fell asleep or chickened out)

HAHA it’s def a lot but i do love hearing everyone’s ideas!! depending on my mindset once everything’s cleared i might keep things shut for a bit so i can get back to working on my long fics…bllk fandom cannot think my max capacity is 41k words w bfb LMAOOO LET ME REACH THAT DELICIOUS 200K WORD RANGE AGAIN PLEASEEEE LFJSKDKSK anyways we will see how things go ig!! taking it day by day…i have a really good mix of characters in my inbox so i’m excited to write literally whatever strikes my fancy at the moment 😈

[hertwood]

dts s5 e1-2

e1: -oh my god i was so hyped for this ep yet completely forgot it starts with mattia and gunther's lunch date LMAO -'we like to think of this a documentary' 'its not a documentary' see if yall just LISTEN to toto you could be having some fun here -red mercedes rollhoop was so UGLY at least it looks better against the black now but i cant stop thinkin abt it when i see the car -also seb looks so fluffy. miss him need him etc etc -if max doesnt interview for next season i'll be So Upset i love him sm -LOVE the kevin return he deserves it SO MUCh -damn they rly set ferrari up here. starting with the highs so the lows hit correctly later. damn -LOVE every alex cameo hi baby :) -LISTEN. the first race i ever watched in full was bahrain 2022. i knew max won the championship, but i didnt know any of the details of the races, and i think this was such a GREAT start for me. the max&charles backnforth, the last minute max dnf, checo dnf in final lap had me GAGGED i'm so glad dts gave it justice. this race has such a special place in my heart -also red bulls don't have mechanical dnfs like they used to!!!! bring this back!!!!

e2: -unfortunately dts does charm u to like toto. he is charming. i am charmed. sorry -pre-fluffy hair george is a jumpscare honestly -lewis wont have to remember the full mercedes team name next year :/ -seeing old pre season testing is making me INSANE its so close i need it NOW -i forgot how widespread the porpoising problem was at the start. i know mercedes struggled the longest but it really seems like a legitimate oversight regulations wise if it happened to EVERYONE -'you cant overstate how much trouble mercedes are in' cut to them in THIRD in the rankings god even when they're flopping theyre on top thats how iconic they are~ -HI SAM COLLINS -the way they just let the bouncing cockpitcams play in silence is so effective. makes me wince. poor bb. -unrelated but i cannot even look at baku turn one without thinking abt the f2 pileup there last year. like 6 dnfs at once insane. anyway -HI ROSS BRAWN -this whole team principal meeting is so goofy and staged as fuck. parent teacher association core -silverstone is simply a banger of a track sorry. not overrated, perfectly rated actually -if dts is good for anything its good for these slow motion shots. the way the roll hoop just disintigrated is insane -so i've noted in previous season they've done a good job of setting up background info before big moments. i think they really dropped the ball here and should've introduced guanyu before the crash. not a big amount, just a lil bit would've done WONDERS -i will say, in the grosjean episode there was this talk abt how he wanted to walk to the ambulance to show he was ok. from a medical perspective that is such a bad fucking idea. it looks scary but i'm glad zhou and the medical team got him outta there on a brace like that. turned out not to be necessary but rly could've been -I LOVE U FORMULA 1 MEDICAL TEAMS BTW -i know merc are bitching but i do think back to grid starter order was the right call. sorry lewis ily -every time i get worried abt ferrari's history with pit fuckups for lewis i need to remind myself that mercedes is just as bad lmao -"i think lewis will win" i dont EVER wanna see anyone saying britcedes dont love eachother britcedes antis dni unfollow me i hate you -THROUGH GOES HAMILTON UNBELIEVABLE STUFF -the lil trick they pull.....the ~ferrari~ wins the british grand prix...... so they can rehash this all again from a carlos v charles angle next episode...... i see u

[le-agent-egg]

Ok to add a little more context, the guy (D) was yeah, going behind my back and deadnaming me, even to people who I was personally close with. Apparently what he would do was, when talking about someone who didn’t know me, drop my deadname. Which. They didn’t know me so just?? Refer to me as Zach??? Bro worst part is I’m not even surprised anymore lmao

Additionally there is one thing I completely forgot to mention in the first post, but I’ll put it under the cut since this is already piss long. Quickly: Tw for general weird behavior, mentions of sex and such, really fuckin weird text messages, and potential ableism

This is gonna be a lot shorter, but one thing I didn’t mention is how that group of people would treat me with the topic of having a crush. For starters let me say that I am most likely neurodivergent in some form, however the group of people I mentioned multiple times took and made a running gag about me being autistic. Which is really gross. This also included them sort of infantalizing me regarding relationships, and like I mentioned before, they were probably at least fetishizing me for being trans just a little.

ANYWAY. The first thing I wanna talk about regarding that is a discord conversation from a while back. That group of people would sometimes host get togethers where they would go to get fast food and then go to either a person’s place or Walmart. On one trip, I didn’t feel like going, can’t remember why. While the trip was happening, I get this string of texts.

These were sent on the same account. The black is the guy from before, D, texting, and the red is someone else, who was also the owner of the account. Obviously I do understand that having “edgy sex jokes” isn’t uncommon per say, especially in a group of high schoolers, but. These don’t really come off as jokes. Especially with this text message from D

Ignoring the random spam of emojis, the image he sent gives me a very good reason to believe the person texting in black was D. My friends also agree that this was really really weird, almost creepy to send.

To go a little further into this, I am completely unsure of how it happened, but a running gag also started of me having a crush on a guy who I’ll call C. I barely knew C, and honestly he. Wasn’t that cool of a person. “Bigotry is peak comedy” type guy. But even if you ignore that fact, D did something really weird on my birthday.

So my birthday was on the tenth of May, sixteenth, big deal you know? And it’s not uncommon, at least where I’m from, to decorate people’s lockers for their birthday. What D did was print a bunch of pictures of C and tape them to the inside of the locker. Really fucking weird. Additionally, very often he would make jokes about me making out/having sex with C. Gross and icky and ughhh. I have proof of the lockers but I won’t put them here, since I do have at least a bit of respect for C’s privacy regarding his face.

Honestly with all this shit about the running gags and trying to demonize me for being neurodivergent in some way and the really weird behavior with crushes and deadnaming me behind my back I’m. not even surprised anymore lmao. Should have known that a guy hanging out with people who thing being a bigot is the funniest thing ever wouldn’t be a good person. I am so fucking done.

Ok now that school for me is over I finally feel comfortable for talking about how this year went for me, because holy fuck it was horrible.

Now I in absolutely no way wish to overstep boundaries for anyone who sees this, so here we go: trigger warning for s**cide, s**cidal thoughts and tendencies, s*xual assault, mentions of r*pe, smaller mentions of homophobia/racism/transphobia, potential fetishization of trans people, and just general power abuse from schools. Please, for the love of god, if you do not feel comfortable with any of these topics, do not read this post.

I would like to preface by saying that I come from a very European bloodline, like everyone leading up to me is European, however I myself am Canadian, and I have a lot of North American influence in me. With that being said, one thing that is pretty common from what I know is for people, especially in the country my mom is from, to be people pleasers. I am a very heavy people pleaser, I don’t like talking about my feelings, all that fun stuff.

In the city I live in, there was a school that I wanted to go to for two reasons: most of my friends were there, and there was a specific program I wanted to be in, though it was mainly the former and not the latter. The only problem is that due to the amount of people going there, it is a closed school, meaning people from out of zone are unable to attend UNLESS you are in the program. You can see where this is going.

Even though I was ok with going to my designated school for a while, around of March 2023 I decided I did want to go to the school with my friends. I submitted my first application form, and around June, I got an email saying I would in fact be a candidate for the program.

Tenth grade starts, I start going to the school, and everything is fine for the first little while. Some details will be kept private, but some work related things happened to my family around early October. Now for the really fun part:

The thing about this program, and honestly school in general, is that it’s very focused on academics, and almost wearing people down. We were doing a novel study on the book The Chrysalids, a book that I personally relate to very much, when shit really went down.

To start things off, we had a pop quiz on the book, that I ended up only getting 40% on. I was completely freaking out, only thinking of how angry everyone was going to be. Then while we were reading the book, a lot of the religious references started getting to me, the ones regarding the “true image of man” if you’ve read the book. (For context, I am a trans man, and that stuff kinda made me feel. Not very good.)

So I end up going to a school counselor, talking about that, which eventually leads to me finally spiraling into talking about my own suicidal thoughts. For a bit more context I’ve been struggling with mental health since around the sixth grade after needing to go to the hospital for something with my eye, as well as my grandfather passing away. I started talking about just how bad I was feeling, and since it’s part of the safety rules, the counselor did have to call my parents. Let me tell you there is nothing more awkward than your parents finding out about the fact that you’re dealing with suicidal thoughts, especially over phone.

So. Long story short, we ended up going to my city’s children’s hospital for a risk assessment. We talked about some stuff, got some resources, all that fun stuff. Really awkward to explain to people why I wasn’t in class.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I’m called down to the office again. Since this was around the time the people at my school were doing assessments for people for if they would get into the program or not, I got the news that based on the past week where I finally snapped, that they didn’t deem me fit for the stress of the program, despite the fact that for the previous month and a half, I had been doing fine. Additionally they said that I could stay with only one class instead of the required two, however this was the one I didn’t want as much. They kinda gave me a pity acceptance because they thought I would be too much to deal with haha. My dad kinda went off on them.

When I got home that day, I decided that after having my own mental health issues used against me, I wanted nothing to do with the school. Also, again, if you’ve read The Chrysalids, you’ll probably understand why I relate to much to the main character David (being in a society where you’re different from others, but in turn seen as a hassle)

Officially speaking, I denied the pity acceptance around December, meaning that in grade 11, I would be going back to my designated school. We were also getting help from a few counselors, so that really helped. I also ended up doing my oral final for English on being a part of a society that treats you bad because your different with David from The Chrysalids and Juliet from you can probably guess where. I cried during it lmao (because I said that I would end up like David in the sense of finally being somewhere that accepts me, rather than Juliet with… you can see the implication.)

You’re probably thinking “oh yay we’re at the happy ending!!” Nope nooooo haha we just finished semester one. Now moving onto semester two:

We need to go back in time to set the stage a little: Remember how I mentioned that one of the main reasons I originally wanted to apply was because most of my friends were going to that school? One of them, who I’ll call D, was included in that. D and I had met in eighth grade, since we were in the same French class and debate team. He introduced me to a larger group of friends, where I actually met a lot of cool people. He was someone who I considered my closest friend, and honestly, the main reason I wanted to go to the school.

Around the start of ninth grade is when my egg cracked so to speak, and I realized I was a trans guy. He ended up helping me choose the name Zach, which is what I’ve gone by for the past year or two. After everything else I say you’ll understand why I’m thinking of changing it, mostly because I feel like I didn’t really choose it. Anyway.

Ninth grade is when I probably should have realized that stuff was getting a biiiit weird. Obviously ninth graders are not known for being very mature. So one thing D would always do is hug me before I got to my next class. Seems innocent enough right? Well I’ve always been averse to physical touch - ask my parents, they can confirm that even when I was a toddler I hated being hugged. But I really liked D, platonically I should say, so I let him hug me, because I liked seeing him happy.

This evolved into him kissing me goodbye. For most of ninth grade he wore a mask, but around halfway he stopped, and often times our lips would make contact. People would always joke “haha you’re dating get a room” but I hated getting kissed, like genuinely hated it. Probably because, again, I am very averse to touch, and was never ready for a romantic relationship. I would just kinda dissociate whenever he would do that.

These jokes didn’t stop once we were in tenth grade, and neither did he. The kissing stopped, sure, but it evolved into constantly touching me and wrapping his arms around me. Again, I am very averse to physical touch, but even with feeling wildly uncomfortable I let him do it because I’m a people pleaser. I think what sucks for me is that so many people probably noticed how uncomfortable I was with all of this, and yet said nothing, like “hey are you ok with being touched”, or something. I understand I should advocate for myself, but I genuinely felt so trapped.

Whenever I would try to hide in the school, he would always somehow find me, and start the cycle over again. Sometimes he would hug me to tight that it physically hurt. But the worst thing is that, on multiple occasions, he would “accidentally” touch my ass, inner thigh, or upper chest. This is, as my friends describe both it and the kissing, borderline sexual assault, and under no circumstances will i EVER let myself be treated like that again. I felt like two years of a mutual trust build between us had been tossed in the trash, because even with a crush on me, he couldn’t keep his hands off me.

Not to go all conspiracy theorist mode, but I honestly feel like it might have something to do with the fact that I’m trans- none of this happened before I came out to our larger group, but after I did, all of this happened. Let me tell you that larger group has a lot of not very good people in it, like I’m talking thinking that racism/homophobia/transphobia/rape is the funniest thing ever. WHICH IT IS NOT. IT’S NOT VERY GOOD TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT RAPE WHEN SOMEONE IN THE GROUP IS BORDERLINE SAING SOMEONE ELSE.

So. Not very epic. But wait, there’s more!!

Another person who went to the school was someone who I knew in ninth grade as well- lets call her A. A is known to have a very big princess complex- she’s never been told no in her life, she always thinks she’s the center of attention, and she loves making herself seem like a victim. Literally, in a team-based activity we had, when we said we work bad as a team, she took it as a personal insult.

Another thing A is really bad with is that she does not know how to keep her hands to herself. She would constantly poke at my waist, even when I told her to not touch me. When we were learning some basic CPR stuff, and I said “don’t touch me”, she was like “Oh ok I guess if you’re choking I’ll leave you to die since you don’t wanna be touched” ?????

She was one of the worst with the “get a room” jokes, even when I told her to stop. We had a martial arts unit, and at one point she was hitting me so hard and frequently that I was unable to recover. Where did having respect for your opponent go? We’re sparring, not trying to kill each other lmao (also she actually did end up hitting my wrist pretty weird, and it was so painful I ended up sitting out for the rest of class. yippee.) To top it off, on the last day of school when I was telling a close friend about why I wouldn’t be in the school next year, A decided to barge in saying that it was my fault for getting kicked out of the program because of my mental health issues. Not a very nice thing to say to someone.

ANYWAY. TL:DR, I ended up getting my mental health used against me to get denied from a program, was borderline assaulted by someone who I thought was a close friend, and had a generally bad experience with another student who ended up telling me that it was my fault for getting kicked out of the program, all in the span of less than ten months.

Thankfully I am doing better now that I’m leaving that school and the bad people in it for good, and I also have some really great friends as well. Honestly I’m just glad I survived this year, because as bad as it sounds, without everything happening, I don’t know if I would have made it to 16.

If you’re still reading this, have some sweets because fuck that was heavy. Thanks <3 🍫🍰🧁🍩🍪🍦

[barbchill]

 since ,  turns  out ,  i’ve  never  done  one  :   here’s  a   starter / plotting  call !

[cohendyke]

hi! do you recommend reading demons/have any tips? i recently read crime and punishment and im trying to get into more ruslit

hi! this is going to be so fucking long im sorry in advance lmao

overall i really liked it, crime and punishment is still number one for me but this is a close second (until i finish tbk and notes from underground.) i know some people (cough, redditors) hate it because it's pretty long for like. three things to happen at the very end but!! i would argue that a big part of the point of the book is how the village and the different classes within interact. it's not plot driven, but it's also not meant to be plot driven; its a satire of real people who dostoevsky knew of and hated lmfao. (side note i love how so many of his works are thinly veiled criticisms of shit he hated. he is So Interesting to me) demons is also pretty swag because you could make the argument that multiple characters can be easily read as gay which adds SO MUCH. (the big one is pyotr verkhovensky, but they’re all kinda 💅 ) no spoilers though if you’ve been on my blog since i finished you’ve probably seen them but there is one chapter that is very very emotional and touching and i was crying... iykyk. anyway the rest is under a cut

some things that would be helpful when reading this is for starters, reading it on a regular schedule; there are a lot of details early on that i forgot because i was just picking it up when i felt like it/when i had time. also, the pevear/volokhonsky translation hits (there are a lot of scenes with word choices that made me go umm... gay.... so if that’s your thing...) and the appendices are very in depth and very explanantory (demons is verryyy 1860s russia and there are a ton of references to that and i, as a 21st century north american, did not understand at all.) It took me 3.5 months to finish demons, but i wasn't reading it very consistently. Finally, i think most editions/translations have the chapter 'at tikhons' as an appendix, and apparently it was one that dostoevsky wanted to include, but wasn't allowed to. definitely read it, either right after the chapter that replaced it, or the end of the book. (i read it after i finished the book)

Here are some themes/devices to keep an eye out that i looked for that are pretty significant imo

what is stavrogins deal? is he the mastermind/god people seem to think he is? is he a villain or is he just caught in a shitty situation?

DEFINITELY read into christian imagery and allusions. note allusions to the holy family (i picked up on two, there probably are more) and who is being called a christ figure, and who is calling them that? are they right?

what is the deal between stepan trofimovich and varvara petrovna? what events can they be blamed for? are they just as bad as pyotr/the revolutionary circle?

likewise, take note of things that are called demonic, insane, possessed, etc. note when they happen as well, and the frequency.

try to pinpoint when things start to go wrong for everyone/when fate is sealed.

look at the main guys in the revolutionary circle, and which ideologies they seem to represent, as well as their main conflicts. what are their main personality traits?

the ladies, both Stavorgins Sluts (sorry marya timofeevna:( ) and the rich old ladies. how are they hypocritical/ironic? are they victims or enablers of their men (specifically stavrogin and the verkhovenskys) which of them are ignorant (or are they just stupid? note: definitely not a feminist novel.)

a lot of people (not just tumblrinas) read pyotr verkhovensky as kind of gay when it comes to stavrogin. is he actually, or is he acting to further his schemes as some sort of fucked up flattery? how is this expressed through the eyes of other characters around him?

what is the deal with kirillov and shatov? what do their philosophies say about one another and their relationship (pertaining to like. literary analysis but also are they gay?)

obviously this is a critique of nihilism/atheism/socialism in russia in the 1860s but i found that a lot of the sentiments and the r/epublican party/ m*ga movement. do you agree? what do you recognize from today’s politics? 

if you read this mess of a book (cue white mom sign that says bless this mess, because there is so much drama ) i hope you enjoy it and please like. talk to me about it i need to scream about this criminally underrated book.

[akechicrimes]

loki appreciation agenda continues because i am speculating on the reasons why goro can change outfits. this is a super speculation-heavy post on goro’s outfit-changing abilities based on theories that loki was created through experimentation to force goro to awaken a second persona, and i don’t think i can necessarily “prove” anything in this post, but the lore on how personas work surprisingly checks out so it’s plausible if nothing else.

anyway, i think goro has two different outfits because he awakened to his “first” persona, twice.

explanation under cut:

(FIRST of all, i know there’s doylist explanations for why certain characters get new outfits and others don’t. this is a watsonian explanation because i have goro akechi brainworms and i cannot stop thinking about my boy.)

the basic premise is that your outfit is something you get when you have the will to rebel. outfits manifest when you’re in a palace that sees you as an enemy, thus activating your rebellious spirit to tell them to suck a dick.

that rebellious spirit comes from a moment of resolve: knowing that you don’t want to die, knowing what it is that you fight for, and knowing whose ass you want to beat. usually, then the character manifests a mask, hears the voice of their persona inside them, and they rip it off.

the will of rebellion also typically triggers a character awakening to their first persona. i’m going to call it the starter persona.

insofar as i can tell, a starter persona is a very specific type of persona that comes from a very specific type of phenomenon:

the manifestation of your resolve/will of rebellion

the persona you get when you awaken to your persona-using abilities for the first time

the first form of your persona

a persona that is unique to you and your soul

theoretically a persona that comes from within you, rather than an external source (e.g. shadow negotiations or the velvet room)

a persona gained under extreme duress marking a drastic resolve in oneself

a starter persona is not:

an evolved edition of your starter persona due to a moderate change in yourself (second-tier/third-tier awakening)

a new persona gained through capturing a shadow (akira’s new personas)

a new persona gained through fusing pre-existing personas (velvet room)

when a second-tier persona occurs, or a new persona is gained through shadow capture or fusing, a new outfit is not gained, because outfits come with the starter persona only.

so my theory is that robin hood and loki are both “starter” personas, even though loki was gained ostensibly way, way after goro had awakened to his general ability to summon personas. loki is not a persona that was gained through shadow negotiations or the velvet room, and loki is not an evolved form of robin hood, since robin hood and loki coexist and first-tier personas disappear when they turn into second-tier personas. 

loki is basically as if goro underwent his first awakening, but a second time, and that’s why there’s a separate outfit for him, in the same way that all the phantom thieves get an outfit when they awaken for the first time.

and now i’m going to go into way too much detail about how starter personas are a very hyper-specific phenomenon that are different from the wild card ability to gain multiple personas and are also different from second-tier awakenings:

CASE ONE: wild cards

wild cards demonstrate very well that starter personas are unique in that they’re created from within a persona user, whereas other personas that wild cards can wield must come from outside sources. and even for wild cards who have six jillion personas, they really only have one starter persona (and in akira’s case, one accompanying outfit). 

i think it’s alright to assume there’s something unique about arsene in relation to akira, in the same way that izanagi is unique to souji or orpheus is unique to minato. every other persona that these wild cards get have to be gotten from either capturing shadows in the wild, or from fusing captured shadows in the velvet room. they’re personas that are found from outside of the wild card, and then taken in to become one of the wild card’s masks.

by contrast, arsene, izanagi, and orpheus seem to come from “within” the wild cards, in the same way that any non-wildcard undergoes an awakening to pull a persona from inside themselves. arsene, izanagi, and orpheus aren’t gained through capturing a pre-existing shadow or fusing pre-existing shadows. so even though akira and other wild cards can wield multiple personas, all of them only have one starter persona.

i’d theorize that, although wild cards have the ability to wield many different masks, the other personas are more like impermanent additions to the general ability to wield multiple personas, which comes with the starter persona. (arsene and izanagi in particular seems really stick around even when you fuse him away, especially since arsene comes back in a second-tier awakening as satanael and izanagi as izanagi-no-okami.)

(NOW THAT I’VE SAID THAT, according to persona lore, all personas come from the sea of the soul! i did not forget. when i’m making the distinction between a persona that comes from “within” a persona user and a persona that has to be found externally, i mean that all shadows/personas ultimately come from the vast sea of the soul/collective unconscious that connects all human beings, but these personas get obtained through different ways: starter personas seem to be summoned from the sea of the soul entirely internally, whereas other shadows have to be summoned from the sea of the soul from either finding them in palaces, mementos, or the velvet room.)

akira, obviously, does not get a new outfit every time he gets a new persona, although that would have been cool as fuck. the outfit happens only when the starter persona is awakened--the persona from within akira, rather than a persona he acquired from the outside.

CASE TWO: general persona users and second tier awakenings

normal persona users don’t have the ability to find external shadows and make them into their own persona. normal persona users have only their starter persona which they got from within themselves, in the same way arsene is unique to akira, and are born from a moment of internal resolve. their personas are all “internal affairs,” so to speak.

normal persona users also have the option of a second-tier awakening, though. second-tier awakenings involve only the starter persona, a new resolve in the character, and again seem to be a persona that comes from “within.” so it seems a bit like the persona user has “awakened” a second time. it’s certainly an entirely internal event, requiring no additional personas obtained from palaces, mementos, or the velvet room.

but the second-tier persona is not an entirely new starter persona. second-tier personas are just their pre-existing already-awakened starter personas changing into a slightly different persona with the same abilities. second-tier personas inherit all the stats and abilities from the first as well, a bit as if it’s just the starter persona in a different form. so although the phantom thieves “awaken” a second time, it’s not so much an awakening so much as it is just an evolution of a pre-existing persona.

this makes sense in terms of the “personas manifest as a will/resolve to rebel” logic, too. it’s not necessarily that they manifested an entirely new resolve to rebel; their pre-existing resolve to rebel just evolved, changed, or was reaffirmed.

there’s also a visual cue for this: awakening a starter persona is a whole fucking deal involving a stressful situation, thinking you’re going to die, usually having to face some asshole in your life who abused you, hearing voices, screaming, manifesting your mask and ripping your face off. second-tier awakenings don’t involve this lmao. god could you imagine if it did. it’d actually be so funny tbh

second-tier awakenings, also, seem to be a phenomenon specific to “starter” personas, or personas obtained from within. you wouldn’t see a persona that akira got from a shadow negotiation evolve in the same way that arsene evolves into satanael, or carmen evolves into hecate, or izanagi evolves into izanagi-no-okami. you could argue that “high pixie” is a second-tier of “pixie,” but there’s no way to make pixie have new resolve and evolve into high pixie like a pokemon; pixie would have to be fused with some other persona to create high pixie. personas obtained through external means have to be fused with other personas, or absorb the life force of other personas through executions. 

anyway, to get back to the point about goro’s two-outfit deal, second-tier awakenings also don’t get you new outfits. which makes sense if we assume that outfits come with obtaining a starter persona, since second-tier awakenings are just your starter persona evolving and is not actually an event in which you obtain an entirely new starter persona.

CASE THREE: haru and sumire

weird fact i forgot until i wrote this meta!! but both haru and sumire are cases of people who got their outfits and a “semi-awakening” to their personas, that then led to a period of not quite being able to actually summon their persona. so, from what we can understand, their will to rebel is there, just not solidified enough to manifest a persona.

morgana, our resident lore expert, tells us that when haru has her outfit but not her persona, milady is more or less there already, just confused due to conflicted feelings about haru’s father, and therefore can’t fully take shape. so she can sort of summon milady, but just not in an effective way that can deal battle damage.

personally i think this is just the atlus writers creating a reason to have haru in the palace in cute clothes without having her go through an awakening, so that she could awaken later for full dramatic effect. but since morgana went to such lengths to explain the mechanics of it and tell us that milady is technically already there, it’s a really interesting case study that demonstrates outfits are not something that are specific to having a starter persona, but doesn’t guarantee that that persona can be summoned.

the same thing happens to sumire: she gets her outfit sometime in october, and for some reason can use cendrillon up until she remembers that she’s sumire and not kasumi. then she winds up in a state like haru’s, where she has an outfit, has the will to rebel, and technically even has cendrillon, but she just can’t summon cendrillon. then she has to go through the whole song and dance of ripping her face off to awaken to cendrillon (which might be kasumi’s soul depending on the interpretation of the scene). and of course, from there her starter persona can have a second-tier and third-tier awakening to vanadis and ella.

but it looks like the same case as haru, ultimately: she technically had cendrillon, but wasn’t able to use it or manifest it because her resolve was jank as fuck with all her identity issues.

SO BASICALLY: 

what i’m getting at is that the outfits come from awakening to a starter persona only. 

a starter persona is, as shown above, a hyper-specific phenomenon in which you pull a persona out of your soul, as opposed to capturing an external shadow and adding it to your pre-existing persona abilities, or transforming your pre-existing persona into a new one. awakening your "first” persona is a thing that happens only when you dig up all the weird sediment from your soul when you think you’re going to die, generally. starter personas come from a moment of internal resolution, and the resulting persona seems to be unique to that person and the circumstances of the persona’s awakening.

really, it’s such a theatrical ordeal, too. like i mentioned before, starter personas get obtained through this WHOLE fucking ritual involving stress, hearing the voice of your persona inside you, manifesting your mask, ripping your face off, manifesting your outfit, etc, etc. (i think it’s fairly important to note that ripping the mask off is the first instance of the larger outfit showing up, too; the mask itself, the outfit, and the starter persona seem to come hand in hand.)

we already know that loki is not a second-tier awakening of robin hood, because robin hood co-exists with loki. we also know that loki is not a persona gained through shadow negotiation or fusion, because external personas that are gained through those methods don’t come with an outfit.

so it really looks like goro just manifested the internal will to rebel, and the accompanying new outfit and entirely new persona, twice.

this, actually, fits really well with the medical experimentation thing, since starter personas, the will to rebel, and the outfit seem to come from stressful situations, where the persona user, in an attempt to not die, pulls a new persona out of their soul from no external source. if the featherman game is implying what i think it is, shido’s scientists and maybe wakaba were trying to force a persona out of goro with stress and trauma, in the same way that you’d manifest a persona for the first time. these scientists were not handing him shadows to turn into personas, like how the wild card is intended to be used. these scientists were not trying to transform robin hood into a new form, like how a second-tier awakening is supposed to work. they were inducing the same conditions that you’d need to awaken a persona for the first time.

it also makes sense from an in-universe perspective, because i’m assuming that, since goro and these cognitive psientists didn’t know jack shit about the metaverse at the time, goro just told them what he knew about persona awakenings: he awoke to robin hood under duress, he reached into his soul, found robin hood there, did a bunch of yelling, pulled off his face, BAM. robin hood. so the scientists said, well, if you wanna see a phenomenon a second time, you might as well recreate the conditions from the first time, right? make him pull off his face again and see what happens.

that would explain how loki is unique to him, in the same way that arsene is unique to akira, or any of the other personas are unique to their phantom thieves. it would explain why there’s an accompanying outfit to go with loki as well--it’s literally an entirely different “first” awakening, as if he manifested the ability to summon a persona twice, rather than just adding on new personas to his pre-existing ability. and it also explains how he has two unique personas that are separate from each other.

it also explains why he never seems to, say, use robin hood while in the black mask outfit, and why he never uses loki while in the white crow outfit. it’s not a cosmetic choice; the outfit is tied to the persona he’s using at the time. the outfit is tied to the separate awakening, and the separate “first” persona that was generated from that awakening. (EDIT: goro does actually use loki very briefly while still in the white crow outfit during his boss battle, although presumably loki is not “fully” summoned because loki is blacked out/colored strangely/vaguely see-through.)

(meanwhile, hereward doesn’t get a new outfit to match him because he’s a tiered transformation awakening. a pre-existing power gets transformed. hereward even existing is also good evidence that robin hood and loki are “starter” personas rather than personas gained through external means, since shadows obtained through mementos/palaces/velvet room don’t get tiered evolutions.)

which is a really interesting bastardization of the wild card ability, if that’s actually what happened. because he’s a wild card with the ability to wield multiple personas, he was able to awaken for the “first” time twice and wield two different personas, but in an extremely corrupted way, not at all the way that wild card abilities are intended to be used.

and i know that this is all just speculation at this point, but it does make hereward look a little bit like goro managed to finally fuse together the two “corrupted” halves of his wild card ability into a singular, whole persona. something or other--growth can only occur when thesis and antithesis synthesize? ...something like that.

anyway i’ve never felt so much like matpat in my life.

[nanstgeorge]

how acosf makes sense: the essay

i hate that i get so annoyed with acotar since it’s unfair cause it’s an unfinished series but as someone who likes knowing why a story is choosing to go down any particular direction—i can’t help but be frustrated? the original trilogy had solid foreshadowing which made it easy to understand how well orchestrated feyre’s arc was. but while i know that acotar is character based, as opposed to tog, it just feels like sjm bent so many of her storybuilding rules in acosf. nesta’s journey is one of the first things that comes to mind when thinking about my issues with the book. not because it was ooc, but rather that it was so unexpected and so terribly accurate. it’s difficult for me to give sjm credit on this because i have a feeling it was sjm’s self-indulgence instead of masterful storytelling that unintentionally created one of her greatest arcs ever.

for starters, i might just have zero reading comprehension but to me, there were so many signs of nesta not being a physical warrior and more of a mental strategist. so basically, nothing caught me more off guard than the entire valkyrie arc. not that there��s an issue with it since it ended up being one of my favorite elements of acosf, but it made me doubt my entire characterization of nesta.

it was likely that all of our initial theories of acosf were that there was an illyrian rebellion that nesta and cassian were going to have to deal with along with the antagonism of devlon. nesta was described so many times as a “queen holding court” in the original trilogy that i assumed she would make battle strategy her kingdom. but instead, everything that was introduced in acofas got snuffed in the first five chapters of acosf. knowing the three year difference in-between acofas and acosf, it makes sense that this was just another plotline that sjm changed her mind on. other examples of this are the flames drawn on the drawer to represent lucien/nesta and that both archeron sisters were only supposed to be evil stepsisters. both are clear indicators that nesta’s story was constantly changing over the course of several years.

going into the second phase of acotar, it was important to note that the pov change would complicate the story even more. we only knew nesta through feyre so everything that was described about her would be somewhat biased. nesta and feyre probably have the most complicated dynamic in the entire series so this was a very dramatic perspective shift. nesta was the haughty eldest sister that didn’t seem to care about anyone besides herself and elain. she treated feyre like trash and didn’t give a fuck. almost every mention of her in the first book has a somewhat negative connotation and it’s clearly stated that nesta is their mother’s daughter. but then, the audience finds out along with feyre that nesta tried to go over the wall for her. this is extremely significant for obvious reasons relating to their strained relationship but also when it’s noted that at this point in the story, feyre thought everyone forgot about her.

“You’re just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up, and someday—someday, Feyre, you’ll have no one left to remember you, or to care that you ever existed.” - Nesta, Chapter 2

My family, glamoured, cared for, safe, still had no idea where I was. The mortal world … it had moved on without me, as if I had never existed. A whisper of a miserable life—gone, unremembered by anyone whom I’d known or cared for. - Feyre, Chapter 19

No one would remember me back home—I was as good as dead to them. - Feyre, Chapter 19

I would never be able to paint Elain’s little garden outside the cottage the way I remembered it, even if my family didn’t remember me. - Feyre, Chapter 19

feyre was broken over the thought of no one remembering her and we find out that nesta—nesta of all people—came for her. the bitchy older sister, who refused to hunt in the woods and called feyre a savage for it, was the only one who remembered feyre and even tried to do something about it. this is not just a surprise to the audience but to feyre which proves that all of nesta’s mentions in the trilogy can be taken as very ambiguous. it’s after this moment that we can conclude that nesta does in fact care about feyre and there’s more to her than expected.

but aside from the obvious statement that every assessment in a sole narrators POV is biased, what makes acosf even stranger is that nesta’s ultimate arc to becoming a warrior makes complete sense? as human emissary, nesta made a good speech at the council meeting but she’s also driven by emotion, stubborn, and straight up impulsive when it comes to her actions. a prime example being that she had the choice to flea to safety but instead chose to literally die with a man she’d known for less than a year. this was a character that relied on her younger sister to keep her alive and was seemingly supposed to be selfish: yet given the option, she physically could not leave cassian and wouldn’t let him die alone.

to me, it’s a call back to when she chose not to marry tomas mandray in the first story. a man who, while also poor was still better off than the archeron’s were, could have given her a step up from her own life. tomas is a way out for nesta and she was going to use him to keep elain from starving. we then find out in a deleted scene between cassian and nesta that tomas had also attempted to sexually assault nesta and that feyre’s characterization of him as a “bad man” was correct. yet it’s explicitly stated that the attempted assault took place the day nesta ended their relationship. a relationship that nesta was ending because tomas refused to go to the woods with her to save feyre. nesta was willing to overlook everything about tomas, even offer her body to him, but his refusal to save her sister was the one thing she couldn’t accept.

“What happened to Tomas Mandray?” I asked, the words strangled. “I realized he wouldn’t have gone with me to save you from Prythian.”

No, she had not been with any male, Fae or human. Tomas had wanted to, and she . . . some part of her had known no future lay with him. Knew about his hateful father, and that he did nothing to prevent the man from beating his mother.

She’d been prepared to offer the only thing she had to barter to Tomas, if it would have kept Elain from starving. Would have sold her body on the street to anyone who’d pay her enough to feed her sister. Her body had meant nothing to her—nothing, she’d told herself as she’d felt her options closing in. Elain meant everything.

“But Feyre had come back with that food. And then vanished over the wall. Three days afterward, Nesta broke it off with Tomas.”

and to add on to the pile of initial nesta sentiments, she never wanted to be in a position of power in the first place unless it kept her from feeling weak. she was mean to people because she was angry at everything and cruel words were her only line of defense. but her arc as a valkyrie allowed her to become physically stronger and gave her an outlet to channel all of her energy. quite frankly, it’s easier to look back on how it was always elain who held the strings and was more of a strategist than feyre or nesta could ever dream.

all in all, i won’t give sjm credit for choosing to not expand on nesta’s death powers (since it annoys me lmao) but it’s clear that those were clearly unimportant to her storyline. she stole those powers out of anger and they would always remind her of the trauma from the cauldron anyway. they weren’t essential to the story because they weren’t nesta. the powers belonged to the cauldron whereas it was through being a valkyrie that she used her own personal strength. looking back, nesta’s entire supposed arc from the original trilogy is probably like the biggest red herring ever?

[phoebehalliwell]

I think Piper was meant to be Gaia who, according to Wikipedia, was herself a Titan and mother of the other Titans (which would explain why she was so crazy powerful and also feed into the motherhood thing they were drumming endlessly with Piper). It would make sense, with a Titan as the only being capable of killing the other Titans - if I didn't think that was giving the writers too much credit.

off my other gods ask: it does beg the question, why the show chose those particular gods. I mean, Piper, earth god, had the raw power. Paige, war god, had the battle strategy and the offensive powers. Phoebe, love god, brings nothing to the table. Nothing in her power set makes her useful in the fight against the Titans, and she was pretty much useless once they got god powers. 

i’m assuming these r the two connected asks. if not i’m just gonna answer them both in this answer lmao whatever So. i actually kinda really like the idea of piper being gaia who really is the primordial earth mother it kinda bugs me bc she is like not just a titan she is like Thee Titan she is the mother of like everything so like. sick as fuck but if you’re saying the titans are real but the goddess were just mortals completely roided out. like that doesn’t make sense. gaia shouldn’t be a godsona to give out. But. bonus of piper being gaia is that he lover is oranos, lord of the heavens, and it was their love that first brought life unto the world, but now they are forever to be kept separate (which is why atlas holds up the sky) so like piper being the mother of all as leo assumes the title of lord of the heavens thus driving them apart,,,,, i’m not giving the writers like any credit for this parallel but it is a whole ass vibe. in regards to like the actual like godhood. yeah. it really didn’t do shit. for starters, paige saying she ran literally every battle strategy that could possibly be and they get defeated in all of them when literally all it took was a tiny earthquake from piper like. okay?? and i think aphrodite really does fit for phoebe but you’re right in that it does completely nothing. i mean it did raise a shitton of money for charity but um that really doesn’t help w the whole apocalypse situation. like aphrodite is simply not a warrior. she’s a god and she is actually technically more powerful than most olympians as she is a descendant or oranos who also as i forgot to mention previously was sliced up with a knife and dumped into the sea at one point my greek mythology is a little rusty in fact gaia might have been the one to incite that bc she had a bunch of kids who were these ancient beasts like cyclops and maybe chimera blah blah blah i think oranos called them ugly and like she killed him or something that’s not the point the point is aphrodite is powerful but like in a 1v1 or even a 3v3 she’s not like a major asset. if they were just doing god shit in general, sure, but she can’t really like. do anything. jumping paige to paige’s utility i gotta say i’ve always found in hilarious how piper’s like single-handedly bringing down the titans and paige grabs her little trident and shoots lightning to make the crevasse slightly bigger so they fall into it (which like. the mythology of paige being athena/ares with a trident that shoots lightning like Please Kill Me) but yes i think it’s So Funny that they were like paige contributed to!! they should have had phoebe blow a kiss at the titans that knocked them into a daze so they would fall like just 4 good measure. but the whole. the whole godhood. the whole we have to declare ourselves gods??? and then they were just like okay ew done w that lmao like. aight. if that’s what were going with.

[doyouever-daydream]

Since we’re alone

A/N Hello lovely humans, this is my attempt to write what I wish would have happened in s13ep12, I’ve had this idea in my mind for a while and at the end it turned out to be more, uhm, cheesier? intense? Something like that, and I blame this song because I was in the middle of writing it when it came on my Spotify and boy, did it change the direction of this fic lmao. But seriously tho, I love the song and it’s beautiful and if any of you already know it, I love you too. Anywho, let me know what you think and enjoy! GIF is not mine.

This is another oneshot for my BAU does blind dates series for the blind date prompt for my @cmbingo​ card

Summary: When blind dates go wrong and the universe conspires Penelope and Luke end up spending their evening together, bonding over french fries and burgers.

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez 

Warnings: Language (Luke says fuck once lmao)

Word count: 2801

Masterlist

“Since we’re alone, show me all that you are and if you get lost in the light, it’s ok, I can see in the dark”

“Everything happens for a reason”

Penelope stood outside the restaurant repeating those words to herself and feeling different things at once: disappointment, annoyment, sadness and hunger. She never even got to have dinner. She took a deep breath and started walking towards Esther, thanking God she had decided to meet her date here and not having him to pick her up. 

Despite what everyone might think, she had other friendships at work, not only the BAU, and one of those friends, Betty,  had offered to set her up in a blind date. Penelope was unsure if she wanted to be set up but her friend insisted she could find someone good for her but oh, what a mistake that had been. The guy was not only super late but incredibly rude to her. She held back the tears, but with her blurry vision she bumped into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying atten- “ She couldn’t finish her sentence when she saw who was standing in front of her.

“Penelope? Hi, uh, what are you doing here?” Luke asked surprised but glad to see her.

“Uh, I was supposed to have dinner, what are you doing here?” For a moment she forgot the date gone wrong and was having mixed feelings about Luke Alvez being there wearing a black sweater and looking extremely handsome.

“I had a blind date” He replied with a blank expression on his face.

“Funny coincidence so did I” She looked less excited than him and he wasn’t that much excited.

“Was it bad?” He asked with a sympathetic look.

“Bad is an understatement, he was almost an hour late for starters” Her voice was full with frustration, she reminded herself to keep calm or she would end up crying in front of Luke and that wasn’t what she needed right now “Then when he arrived, he made it clear I wasn’t what he expected, he criticized my outfit, I won’t go in to many details but he made me feel like crap, now here I am, having wasted my Friday night with a guy who was not worth not even a minute of my time” Penelope closed her eyes and sighed, feeling less frustrated now that she had said everything out loud, maybe Luke wasn’t the ideal person to vent, but she was glad he was there.

“What the fuck is wrong with him? You should’ve left before he even arrived, he kept you waiting” He felt angry at the man who had done that to Penelope, she was so sweet to everyone she, out of all the people, didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.

“I know, I sat there longer being alone than with him and I am so mad at myself for not leaving before he got here it’s just…” She suddenly stopped, Penelope didn’t want to vent her insecurities in front of him.

“Just what?” He placed a hand in her shoulder, while searching for her eyes. “You need someone to talk and I happen to be here, please, tell me”

“It’s just I don’t date much, I’m not like, well other people, who have dates every weekend, I don’t get asked out a lot and I foolishly set my expectations too high and this clown, he was awful, he made fun of the way I dressed and…” She couldn’t keep the tears inside anymore and they silently fell on her cheeks, the whole scene had Luke feeling like finding the asshole and telling him off, but also he wanted to reassure Penelope that she was beautiful and deserved the world.

Suddenly Luke’s mind went somewhere he had been trying to avoid. Ever since he met Penelope, he knew she was special. As much as she tried to give him a hard time about being the new guy, she was really sweet. She cared so much for her friends, tried to see the silver lining in every situation and did anything she could to help others. Not to mention she was incredibly beautiful, more than once he had to force himself to stop staring at her, her eyes, her smile, her curves, her lips. Her lips were always a huge distraction for him whenever she was close, the times she presented a case, he focused on the casefiles rather than her.

But he was almost certain Penelope couldn’t see him in that way. She only saw him as a friend and he wanted to treasure that, it was the most he would have. 

“Penelope, don’t pay attention to whatever he said about you, none of what he could have said is true, I’m sure” He wanted to lift her chin so she could see in his eyes he meant it.

“How could you know? You weren’t there” She tried to smirk, while dried her cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter, I just know, now, you said you left, did you have dinner?” Penelope looked at him with soft eyes and Luke just wanted to take her in his arms and wash away the sadness.

“No, but it’s ok, I have food in my apartment” Penelope held her bag and started to feel self conscious about being too sensitive in front of Luke.

“I’m not about to leave you like that, what would you like to have for dinner? We’re gonna get it” He stood in front of her with both of his hands in her shoulders.

“I honestly don’t know” She said in a small voice.

“Come on, there’s something you must want to eat right now” Luke was trying to cheer her up.

“I don’t know, you choose” Knowing Penelope was willing to spend some time with him made his smile grow bigger.

“French fries? I love french fries” Luke had already eaten but he was always willing to make space for french fries.

“Sounds good, yeah, comfort food to makeup for the awful date, I’m in” The mood was lighter between them now.

Penelope agreed to follow Luke so he could take her to the “best diner in town” according to him. When she got there, she was unsure if the feeling in her stomach was because she was hungry or she was about to spend one on one time with Luke Alvez and his brown eyes and killer smile.

“Here we are” He opened the door for her and guided her to his favorite booth, close the window and far from the people, not that there were many people but he wanted to have a nice conversation and didn’t want the fuzz to get in the way of it.

“There’s a burger I think you should try” Penelope cut him off.

“I’m vegetarian, Luke”

“I know, this is a vegan burger, I’ve tried it before, it’s really good” His expression made him look like an excited kid, she was unsure why he seemed to be that happy but she brushed it off.

“Ok, I’ll try it”

The waiter took their orders and he went off to tell her how he knew this place and why he liked it so much.

“You sound like a food blogger, Alvez, are you sure you’re not one?” She asked while taking a french frie into her mouth.

“No, I’m not, but I really love it here, besides it’s open 24 hours so sometimes after a case, this place saves me from starving to death” He took a sip of his soda.

“So dramatic, Luke, now tell me how was your date?” She was genuinely curious to listen about her friend’s night.

“Phil set us up, she’s really nice and beautiful but there wasn’t a spark, you know?” He stared at Penelope thinking how this felt more right than the date he just had.

“Maybe you should give it another try, have a second date” There it was again, her kind heart, Luke thought.

“I don’t think I’ll do it, I mean I wouldn’t mind hanging out with her and Phil but just that, nothing else” He spoke as if he was trying not to get into trouble.

“Ok, but don’t miss out on someone just because you’re afraid or something”

“What are you trying to say, Penelope?” 

“It’s just, sometimes people prefer to run away before trying to see if there’s a future there, you know? You said she is really nice and beautiful, that sounds like a catch” He almost fell as if she was scolding him, which put a playful smirk on his face.

“Oh, come on, now I have to marry her just because of what I said?” He joked.

“No, listen what I’m saying, I say it out of experience, don’t give up on something that could be good just because you’re feel unsure at first”

“I’m not gonna argue with you, I’ll try to call her and see if she wants to go out some other day, alright?” He lied just so she would stop insisting.

“Alright, if you end up marrying her and having children, I want to be godmother” She winked.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, now let me show you how french fries should be eaten” Her eyebrows shot up in amusement at the sudden change of subject.

“What are you gonna do? You have a reputation that precedes you, you know?

Luke gasped feigning hurt. While he put barbecue sauce and caesar salad dressing on the side of the plate of fries they were sharing.

“That doesn’t look good” She admitted while scrunching her nose.

“Maybe, but it tastes really good, come on, try one” He put up the plate with one hand and with the other he took some fries dipped them in the mix and the ate them.

“Ok, just because you’ve been a great company tonight” She tried them and was pleasantly surprised it tasted good.

“See? I was right” He had a cocky smirk and Penelope rolled her eyes.

They ate the rest of their food in a comfortable silence, that was until Luke noticed Penelope was too deep in thought and the look on her eyes gave away she was still thinking about the earlier encounter she had.

“Watcha thinking about, chica?” He carefully watched her getting out of her thoughts.

“Should I be less… Uh, colorful? Wear less patterns?” She said in a serious voice.

“Not if you don’t want to” He replied with the same tone.

“I know I say I’m eternally young but does the way I dress or talk makes me look or sound, I don’t know, ridiculous?” She looked at him pleading honesty.

“No, no” He replied within a second she had finished speaking “Penelope, you are… I don’t even know how to describe it, you’re you, and that’s beautiful, you are beautiful and whoever doesn’t see that or tries to change the way you see yourself is an absolute moron, I cannot begin to explain how wrong they are” He licked his lips, knowing he was about to come out and say much more than he intended to.

“I am not lying when I say you are everything that is good in this world, and in my world, you are the light at the end of the tunnel, the color that brings my days to life, and I know I sound incredibly cheesy but it’s true, the whole reason why Phil set me up tonight was because I told him I had feelings for you and I needed to get over them because I know you won’t feel the same way, and seeing you beat yourself up over what some dickhead said is not ok with me, you are your own person, with your clothes and the way you talk and you’re million different glasses and your optimism, your way of loving people, your intelligence, I could go on and on if you wanted me to just so I can prove to you, how incredible you are, Penelope Garcia.”

Penelope was speechless and very touched by what Luke had said, never in a million years she would’ve thought he thought that much of her. He felt that way towards her.

Luke was also surprised that he had said all of that out loud, after trying to lock it in the back of his head for the past few months. He held her hand across the table and squeezed it.

“I-I-I don’t know what to- what…” Penelope was unable to speak coherent sentences. She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming, so she just stared at him wide eyed and open mouthed. Luke had a feeling that maybe he wasn’t going to be turned down so he continued pouring his heart out now that he had finally dared to do so.

“Ok, since you’re not going to talk just yet, would it be crazy of me to ask you for a chance? A chance to see if something can go from here? Please” He pleaded with his eyes, not letting go of her hand.

She swore he could feel her heart beating faster and faster, for the second time in her life, she felt it was going to come out of her chest.

“Luke, it’s me you’re talking about” He looked at her trying to make sense of her words “I can be me, with all my quirks and my-” He cut her off.

“Didn’t you listen to me? That’s what I want, you, all of you, if you feel the slightest willing to try, let’s do it, I’ll do everything I can to not break your heart” She was still at loss of words and Luke’s confidence was wearing off but he had one more thing to say “A friend told me I shouldn’t give up on something that could be good just because I’m afraid” 

“I told you I said it out of experience and that’s because I’m good at running, running away from relationships and commitment”

“It’s ok, I like the chase” And with that he leaned over the table and kissed her. If any of them needed proof that there was electricity between them, that was it. The feeling that went down their spines when their lips touched could not be compared to anything they’ve ever felt before.

When they pulled apart, it was Penelope’s turn to squeeze his hand.

“Alright, let’s try it then” Her smile and her eyes made him almost feel dizzy.

A month later, Penelope and Luke were feeling more than happy with the way things were, it had been a month of getting to know each other even more over date nights whenever they weren’t on a case. The team was ecstatic learning.they were together, everyone had a feeling they were good for each other.

“Penelope!” Betty, her work friend, called out to her and Penelope regretted coming down at that time.

“Hey Betty” She tried to be nice, it wasn’t her fault that her friend was an asshole.

“How are you, little liar?” Betty said with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” She was surprised at the accusation.

“You stood up my friend, that wasn’t very nice, Pen” Her friend’s face softened.

“I didn’t stood him up, he was an idiot, I’m sorry but he was” She felt bad saying that about Betty’s friend but it was true.

“How could you know that if you never showed up?” Betty’s confused look mirrored Penelope’s. 

“I did show up and your friend Ben was not only late but rude to me”

“He told me you didn’t show up, that he waited almost an hour for you” Betty knew something wasn’t right, neither of them lied “Are you sure it was Ben? The Ben I sent you the picture of?” Penelope hadn’t seen any picture.

“What? I didn’t see a picture, you told me his name was Ben” Penelope unlocked her phone and there it was, below the text that read Remember his name is Ben, was a picture of a man that wasn’t the one she had the misfortune to meet.

“Oh, Penelope, who the hell did you have dinner then?” Betty was now laughing, unaware that the first date she had that night went terribly wrong.

In that moment Luke walked  by and saw Penelope, she also looked at him and smiled.

“It doesn’t matter, say sorry to Ben for me, ok? I have to go” She never took her eyes off Luke while he looked curious as to what she was saying.

She approached him and her smile grew bigger.

“What is making you smile so big this morning, Penelope?” He asked with his own smile adorning his face.

“Everything happens for a reason, Luke, everything happens for a reason”

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (4)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.9k (this chapter), 13.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Phil did not invite Chris and Sophie to come to Rossendale with him. Not because he doesn't like spending time with them, but because he wouldn't know how to explain a situation to his parents that he doesn't even understand himself. To his knowledge, PJ also did not invite them.

"Change it," Chris whines from the backseat. He'd lost the scuffle against Phil to claim the front, and he's been complaining about Phil's music choices for half the trip so far in retaliation.

"You like McFly," Phil huffs, continuing his search for an album that won't elicit a loud sigh from behind him.

"That's fucking slander, is what that is. You hear that, PJ?"

"Oh, I hear you both," PJ says, flat. "Loud and clear."

They've only been driving for probably forty minutes and PJ already looks like he wants to kick them all out of his car. Phil doesn't exactly blame him, although he resents being lumped in with Chris in the 'annoying background noise' category.

He has no idea how they've managed to invite themselves along, but Phil was too polite and PJ was too smitten to tell them off when they came out to the car with their bags.

So, this is a group activity now. Phil's parents had been thrilled to hear it when he texted them the updated situation - they're taking it as a sign that Phil has a motley crew of good friends again, like he'd had as a kid and again in uni. He supposes that they're not wrong, exactly, but he's definitely anxious about introducing them to Chris.

"I like this song," Sophie says, mild, and Chris closes his mouth.

"Fine, this one is alright," he says begrudgingly. Phil glances at them in the rearview - Sophie is patting Chris' knee and giving him the sort of smile that always makes Phil feel like he shouldn't be present. He looks back down at his phone so he doesn't have to sit with that feeling too long.

PJ turns up the volume, probably to curb any more bickering before he has to toss them all out of his car, and Phil tries to just lose himself in the music for a little bit.

His friends sing along at varying levels of obnoxiousness and Phil tries not to keep opening the Tumblr app to see if someone has messaged him. Well, someone specific. I'm going north today!, is the last message sent between them, and Phil is still waiting for Winnie to offer to meet up or something.

After their non-starter interview, Phil and Winnie kept missing each other's free time to finish it over Skype. Phil kind of wants to hear more from them before he checks it out himself, but that's not looking likely at this point, especially if he's lugging his housemates along with him all weekend.

Phil opens a puzzle game on his phone and lets the mostly-mindless swiping distract him. It's a long drive up to Rossendale, and the last thing Phil wants is to be left alone with his thoughts.

--

Phil's parents love having guests round almost as much as they love to have him home, so Phil isn't at all surprised to walk in and smell a roast cooking. He expects that treats will be made as soon as the oven is free, because that's what his mum is like.

"Hello," Phil calls into the house, kicking off his shoes. His friends follow his lead - PJ puts his boots carefully on the mat that Phil didn't bother aiming for, and Sophie struggles with a particularly stubborn knot in her laces - as he hangs up his jacket. "Mum? Dad?"

"Child," his mum greets him happily, appearing in the entry to the kitchen and making grabby hands at him until he envelops her in a hug.

"Missed you," Phil tells her, quiet enough that his friends won't hear to make fun of him.

"Oh, I missed you," she says, giving him a kiss on the side of his face. She turns her beaming smile onto his housemates, who all pause in what they're doing like a frozen tableau. It's a little funny. "More children! Hello! I'm Kathryn, it's so nice to meet you. And so nice to see you again, PJ," she adds in that somewhat pointed voice that Phil hates so very much.

"Hello, Kath," PJ says, grinning wide. He gives her a hug, too. Chris holds out his hand for her to shake when she's done squeezing the life out of PJ, but Kath will have none of it.

"Don't be silly," she says, wrapping her arms tight around Chris' waist with a laugh. "We hug in this family."

"Really?" Chris asks, and the look he gives Phil is almost more embarrassing than if he'd asked 'so why isn't your son a hugger?' out loud. "Something smells absolutely delicious, Kathryn. Is that you, or is supper cooking?"

Phil stops himself from groaning out loud, but barely. He probably shouldn't be surprised at all that Chris' cheeky, flirtatious charm extends to mothers as well. Kath laughs and smacks lightly at Chris' chest before she turns to Sophie.

Skilled at making people feel comfortable in four seconds flat, Kath chatters away about supper and how lovely Sophie's curls are and how long it's been since she's seen Phil, did they know how long it's been? She herds them all into the kitchen like they're cattle and insists that Phil take their things upstairs while she puts the kettle on.

"Er, alright," Phil says, looking at the small collection of bags that they'd brought with them. Their clothes and toiletries are all there, of course, but so is all the filming and hunting equipment. He'll have to make at least two trips.

"Your father got the guest room and Martyn's room all set up before he went out," she tells him, either not noticing or ignoring his internal struggle.

Oh, wonderful. Phil had somehow forgotten about the part where they had three beds for four of them. He's positive that his housemates won't mind sharing with each other, but now he's been tasked with the anxiety-inducing puzzle of whose bags to put where.

"Okay," Phil says again, even though they've moved on to talking about their favourite kinds of cakes so that Kath can wow them all with her skills. He tries to catch PJ's eye, but PJ is too wrapped up in a conversation about strawberries to notice.

Alright, well. Phil grabs as many bags as he can carry and brings them upstairs, feeling some tension deep inside him get a little tighter as he notices that most of their personal effects are packed away, either in storage or already on the island, and his childhood home looks more like a show home than he's comfortable with. The stairs only creak a little under his weight, nothing like the old house in Brighton, but Phil still feels unsettled.

In the end, he throws PJ and Sophie in the guest room. It's a selfish move more than anything, because he's brought PJ for enough visits to be familiar with the way his parents look at each other every time PJ teases him.

They don't ask. They're not the type of people to pry, and Phil isn't the type of people to offer information unprompted. They've all been in this limbo for years where Phil doesn't tell them that he likes boys and they don't outright question if PJ is just a friend and, frankly, Phil is tired of it. So, Chris can sleep alone.

He takes his own bags up last, because he knows that stepping into his bedroom and seeing all the personality stripped from it is going to make him feel things he isn’t prepared to feel. Phil takes a deep breath before he goes inside, and releases it shakily as he drops his things on the floor.

The beige carpet is almost mocking him, telling him that it's time to grow up, and Phil leaves the room as fast as he can.

--

God it is so hard to get anything done here. Sorry to complain at you randomly but like... I forgot how hard it is to work when my parents are hovering and asking a million questions lmao

Winnie still hasn't responded to Phil's early morning message, but the frustration of his parents distracting him and his friends from their work is starting to get to him. Chris has completely charmed them, somehow, and both Sophie and PJ are too polite to put headphones on and ignore them the way Phil has decided to.

Surprisingly, he gets a reply right away: omg how have i never considered the fact that you had to tell your parents you wanted to hunt ghosts for a living thats so fucking funny also that sucks i live in a house full of students and i always have to go to the coffee shop to work on essays and shit

There's nothing good like that where my parents live. Your coffee place is in the city, right?

“No! He didn’t!” Chris is laughing, somewhere in the living room, and Phil has to turn up the white noise on his headphones. The idea of his parents and housemates trading embarrassing stories about him while he's holed up at the table with audio files he hates makes him itch.

yeah, Winnie says. Phil is so thrown off by the short message that his fingers pause on the keyboard.

Is he annoying them? He doesn't mean to. Phil thinks over the messages they've exchanged since talking on Skype, the wheel of worst case scenarios spinning quickly.

Before Phil can apologise or even really get his anxious mind to settle down, his laptop bloops again, once, twice, three times. Relief from the worry that Winnie doesn't like talking to him curls around Phil's shoulders, relaxing them.

It's a screenshot of Google Maps with an address pulled up, a different building circled in a bright blue. yeah i hella recommend and it's really close to wilkins as well, is the message accompanying the screenshot. Then, right afterwards, 10/10 hot chocolate if i do say so myself.

Phil isn't very big on hot chocolate on its own, but he is very big on quiet coffee shops.

It takes a lot of cajoling and promises that he won't be out too late for Phil to convince his parents that they'll be fine to drive to the city by themselves. His dad gets the same look on his face that he always does when Phil talks about work, but his mum merely pats his cheek and says, "Oh, love, be careful. I'll be cross if I have to get you from the police again."

"That was one time," Phil says, feeling his face flush as Chris looks at him with glee.

"One time too many," Nigel says, a bit too sternly to be a joke. Phil wonders if his friends pick up on it or if they just think he's banting like he's been all through supper, that same dry humour that Phil can see in Martyn making him funnier than his housemates had expected.

PJ and Sophie both laugh a bit, so... probably just Phil's knowledge of his dad making it more pointed than it really needs to be.

The coffee shop is open late, so Phil and his housemates decide to do some recon at the Wilkins place. The sun hasn't quite set yet, and the street isn't completely deserted or anything, so they have to wait for a good moment to leave the car.

They're careful. They've done this before.

The Wilkins place is an older townhouse in Rusholme with windows that have been boarded up since the early noughties because they kept getting broken. Technically, someone still owns the property, but the Wilkins family either didn't care about it or had forgotten it existed, because it's been abandoned as long as Phil can remember.

It also isn't very scary in his memory. It's draughty and has rats scurrying about, but the electricity and heating still worked, somehow, and the social situations he'd gotten thrown into at Martyn's shoulder were definitely more nerve-wracking than the house itself.

All of these things are still more or less true, according to everything Phil has been told, but when Phil climbs in through the loose boards of the kitchen window, the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. He hesitates for so long on the sill that Chris pushes a bit at him, reminding him to move before some annoyed neighbour calls the police.

It's dim inside but not so dark that Phil's eyes strain; the streetlights and setting sun filter in through the boards and showcase the dust covering every surface.

Phil helps Sophie and then Chris through the window, PJ giving them boosts from the outside. They take the various bags from PJ and Sophie immediately pulls out the camera, ignoring the thuds that PJ's feet make as he launches himself up and clambers in like a monkey.

"Sexy," Chris drawls as PJ nearly tumbles onto his face. He's grabbing out equipment of his own, and so Phil is tasked with getting PJ through the window safely.

"At least I've got a modicum of upper body strength," PJ says. Neither of them are bothering to whisper, and that's making Phil anxious.

He can't put his finger on it, but... it doesn't feel like they're alone in here. There's probably someone hiding out from the chill of late October in one of the various empty rooms, and Phil's worst case scenario wheel is spinning so fast it's making him dizzy.

"Do you hear that?" Sophie asks, hushed. That stops PJ and Chris from continuing their bickering, and all three men freeze as they strain for whatever it is that Sophie's hearing. After a moment of complete silence, Sophie shakes her head. "It stopped. Hopefully the mic caught it over you lot."

PJ looks appropriately abashed, but Chris just shrugs. He's got a flashlight and an EMF meter, and he slings one of the bags over his shoulder before disappearing.

This is technically for Phil's channel - they're checking the place out, and Sophie is filming just in case something happens - but Phil still feels weird when PJ ducks off in another direction and Sophie stays at his side instead of following one of her boys, camera steady in her hands and the tip of her nose pink from the cool air.

"What did you hear?" Phil murmurs, beckoning her further into the house. The sound of creaking wood is so loud, like it's right above their heads, and Phil can only hope that it's one of his friends going upstairs.

"It could have been the wind," Sophie says mildly. "Or rats."

"Is that what it sounded like?"

Sophie blinks up at him and her mouth twists in an emotion that Phil can't place. "No. No, it sounded like a person talking."

Yeah, that's what Phil was afraid of. "Someone might be living here," he whispers, focusing on the dark hallway and trusting that Sophie is following.

The creaking again, this time from beside them, and Phil peeks his head around the corner to confirm that the staircase is what he's hearing. Chris is halfway up it, flashlight off between his teeth as he grips the railing like he's afraid the stairs are going to give out under him.

Phil hates this part. He'd rather do this completely alone than have to herd his friends like sheep. He leaves Chris to his own devices and moves into the lounge. This is where the majority of the litter is, empty bottles and cans and crisp bags everywhere. Phil takes a couple photos of it all and sends them to Martyn.

Remember your friend who used to bring a garbage bag to every party? Looks like he was the only one lol

He pauses. All too aware of Sophie's eyes and possibly the camera lens on him, Phil sends the photo to Winnie as well with a different caption: Does it always look like this?

Neither of them respond by the time Phil has picked his way through the first floor, which is at least good for his focus, but it doesn't explain why the house feels so much different than it had seven or eight years ago. Phil feels unsettled here in a way that he doesn't usually get anymore, goosebumps down his arms that aren't from the cold and the constant, unnerving feeling that someone is looking at him from the shadows.

Phil's phone buzzes as he and Sophie debate in whispers if they should go upstairs. Phil hates leaving anything to someone else, even if it's just a few rooms that surely PJ and Chris are capable of exploring on their own. He's in the middle of trying to explain that to Sophie when his voice catches in his throat.

"Peej says we should go," Phil says, interrupting himself. "He found something weird in the attic."

"What's he doing in the attic?" Sophie hisses.

"Dunno. I didn't even know there was an attic."

"We should go, then," says Sophie, like that decides it. Although it does rankle a bit to be lower on the totem pole of his own project, Phil has to admit that Sophie is right. If PJ is saying that it's time to go, then it's time to go.

Phil climbs out of the window first, taking the equipment with him, and then helps hoist Sophie safely down. She's so small that it's not even a strain, really, even with how little exercise Phil gets. They wait, huddled together, and Phil feels some of the knot in his chest start to loosen when he hears Chris and PJ arguing in whispers before the window boards get slid out of the way again.

"What did you find?" Phil asks immediately, and PJ hushes him on his way down.

"Let's go, I'll tell you at the café," he whispers, leading the way down the pavement with strides so purposeful that Phil wonders if he's been in this area before. It's all the rest of them can do to keep up with him, and Phil spares a moment to feel sorry for Sophie and her short legs.

He hangs back with her and lets Chris keep pace with PJ. Chris is still talking at a silent PJ in a hushed, passionate tone, like he's fighting with a brick wall, and Phil doesn't need to be involved in that.

The coffee shop is only a couple of streets away, but the tension that the Wilkins place and PJ's subsequent discovery has brought to the group makes it feel much further. PJ stops in front of a purple door, and Phil has a begrudging respect for his ability to remember where something is after simply being told the address. The shop is small and a little dingy, but the lighting inside is soft through the narrow windows and there's a fireplace that Phil longs to curl up in front of like a cat.

Chris scowls at PJ and holds the door open for him in the same breath. Phil doesn't understand their relationship and at this point he's too afraid to ask, but he ducks into the inviting warmth anyway to try to get the goosebumps off his skin.

The two employees behind the counter look at the door like they've been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. A girl with brightly-coloured hair is holding a bunch of marshmallows, a hand poised mid-throw, and an unreasonably tall guy with an unreasonably large mouth is gawping as one of the marshmallows hits him in the chin.

"You missed," Phil informs them, grinning a bit as he unwinds his scarf.

"Oops," the girl laughs, setting the marshmallows down and pulling up a customer service smile. "What can I get for you guys?"

While PJ and Sophie pore over the menu and Chris starts asking if she'll throw marshmallows into his mouth if he asks very nicely, Phil's eyes drift to the other worker.

His mouth is still open, a bit, and his face flushes when their eyes meet. "Er," he says, glancing behind him as if Phil is looking at someone else, and that's so endearing that Phil is sufficiently distracted from the mystery down the street.

Phil isn't extremely self-conscious or anything, but he also knows he's not going to be the hottest guy in a room, so he's a bit flattered and a lot confused about this guy's reaction to him.

The thing is, the guy is very attractive. A couple of perfect curls poke out from under his cap, and there's some type of shimmer on his face that Phil could not put a name to if you paid him. He knows literally nothing about makeup, but he knows that it makes this giant of a man look softer and his blush even more obvious when it deepens.

"Hi," Phil says, giving him a little wave. He can still hear Chris chattering on and Sophie debating the merits of a hot chocolate versus a cappuccino, so he's pretty sure nobody is paying them any attention. The guy twitches like he wants to look over his shoulder again, but he stops himself.

"Uh, hi? Sorry to be, like, weird, I just - I didn't expect -"

The voice is familiar, the rambling is familiar, and then it clicks. "Oh, hi," Phil says again, warmer this time. He steps closer to the counter and grins up at them - an unusual thing in itself, since Phil doesn't meet many people taller than him. "You didn't mention that you work here."

Winnie's shoulders slump forward in a kind of relief, and they scratch the back of their neck, looking awkward and out of place even in an outfit that coordinates with the colour scheme of the whole shop. Phil looks the uniform over and immediately regrets it, because he didn't mean to see Winnie's name tag and now he feels weird about knowing something he wasn't actually told. He doesn't feel too weird about being here, though, because - well. Winnie had technically invited him.

"Honestly, I didn't know you'd be 'investigating' so soon," says Winnie. They're still blushing and the finger quotes are somehow cute, even though they're being used to poke at Phil's career. Their nails are dark and sparkly, and Phil desperately needs to stop noticing things about their hands. "I would have told you, probably, or I'd just - I dunno, try to make a better first impression."

"You're making a fine first impression," Phil assures them.

Winnie snorts. "Oh, bullshit."

"Phil," PJ says, nudging him. Phil suddenly remembers that there are, in fact, other people around him, and he can't just keep looking at Winnie's long, dark eyelashes. "What are you having?"

Honestly, Phil hasn't even looked at the menu. He's so easily distracted by pretty boys with big hands and - oh, right, he's got to be careful about that, even in his own head. Especially in his own head. Winnie isn't a pretty boy, he really shouldn't be thinking about them like that at all.

"Uh," Phil says eloquently. He's very particular with his hot drinks, usually, but he's got a lot going on in his mind right now and it's easier just to shrug at Winnie than to look away and think. "Dunno, actually. Surprise me?"

Winnie smiles, and Phil's stomach twists. "I can do that."

[agirlinhell]

my blog: [reaches 100+ followers]

my eyes: ey yo look like i’m goin for a swim

HOLY SHIT IT’S BEEN A BIT OVER A YEAR AND Y’ALL ARE STILL HERE?? jfc I LOVE YOU GUYS. in all seriousness, though, i met just the greatest people ever while i’ve been here and uuuuuuuugh, I LOVE interacting with each and every one of you, i love seeing you guys on my dash and I JUST AGLGGALJGAGALJGAGLAJ so thank you all so much for sticking with me through this. i probably don’t deserve it and you’re all here anyway<333

before we get real deep into this: thank you. whoever you are, if you’re reading this, i’m thanking you. for being here, for following this trash ass blog and loving this muse as much as i do. also i’m thanking you for waking up today, for drinking water and eating your food, for doing your chores, for taking a shower, brushing your teeth, for taking a nap, for getting through yet ANOTHER DAY OF THIS BITCH OF A PLANET. and even if you did none of those things — thank you. stay with us. this world needs you. all of us are unique. there’s no one like you, 

thank you for existing - i love you.

NOW LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE HUNS

i hope you’re all ready bitches bc IMMA SHOWER Y’ALL WITH LOVE:

@keptmanners​ / @morefinesse​ / @worldendured​ : I’VE SAID THIS SO MANY TIMES BUT UUUUUUUUUGH, this person right here, ande, is one of the people responsible for this blog being what it is today. no joke. when i was at my worst (activity wise) ande was always here, replying to our shit, plotting and discussing concepts and screaming about our muses and just being nice and kind and understanding to me whenever we talked. the relationship we built between clem and ruby/louis/your muses was one of the things that kept me from leaving this blog altogether, so thank you so much - i honestly really appreciate and admire you.

@taggedbastard​ / @paulklee-guild​: listen to me YOU LITTLE SHIT AKJAJGAGLJGA no jk, i love you so much and that’s so crazy because we haven’t even been talking for that long - we deadass started talking like two-three days ago? like, we fell in love with each other bc we’re cancerians and with the OTP in like 0.2 seconds and it was beautiful??? UGH I LOVE YOU BITCH AND I AIN’T NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH.

@prctecthem​ : TSUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! i got you, okay? but seriously, thank you for becoming such a good friend and great person to talk to these last few weeks. i am so glad to have met you <3 AND I LOVE OUR THREADS WHAT THE FUCK?? like we should have hundreds of them, honestly. no jk <3 bUT MAYBE???

@weprevail​ : BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!! I LOVE HOPE SO MUCH??? A VALID LEGEND IN THE RPC!! SHE SPOILS ME WITH LEE, DUCK, MITCHENTNE AND VIOLETINE CONTENT AND I CR Y!!! i love when we talk about stuff!! you can do it, you can accomplish your dreams, i believe in you - i’ve got your back okay??<33

@rcdhccdie​ : IRL BESTIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE GRADUATING AND THAT YOU’RE ABLE TO KICK SCHOOL RIGHT IN THE ASS!! ILY ILY ILY ILY - I’LL SEE YOU SOON, OKAY??<333

the bad bitch brigade:

@dcadrct​, @stillgcod​ & @mortuism​: MY HOMIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. no seriously like, artie, merc and jude are the some of the bestest friends on tumblr/discord that i could have ever asked for and i can’t imagine my life without them anymore. i mean, lmao, i have more verses with them combined than anyone else in the world, artie and merc are just ALWAYS THERE WHEN I WANT TO TALK TO THEM AND I JUST !!!! <#3333 AND JUDE IS DOING HIS BEST AND I LOVE AND SUPPORT A LEGEND!! artie destroys my ass with marlontine / clouis angst/fluff, merc has me crying up in the club about sophietine and jaiko and jude makes me cry like a little bitch with his lee, carl, violet, brody and lilly content  i am truly honored and glad to share this muse with such wonderful people ( or at least formerly in merc’s case ALGJGAAGLAGALJ ) and to just be your friend???? y’all have always been there to call me out on my shit if i ever fuck up and i get my shit together accordingly so i really appreciate it - y’all are also some HILARIOUS ASF PEOPLE

the gay juicebox squad

(or people i love interacting with and want to interact with/talk to even MORE &&& people that i JUST started interacting with and WANT TO KEEP GOING BC YOU’RE PERFECTION – &&&&&&& PEOPLE I HAVE PLOTTED WITH BUT I STILL OWE A STARTER / REPLY TO BC I SUCK, BUT I’M EXCITED TO RP WITH AAAAAAAA ):

@twdgdeadmanwalking, @rcdhccdie @creolejesus, @corpsepaintd, @zombeam, @pyrrhaeic, @weprevail , @crackinthewhip, @youngshct @we-are-strcng @livesrot @reekcd @corpsepaintd​ @forgedvalor @goldenngore @emsorcism @thecomplication @sympaheart @almostskylight @agirlofwinterfell​

the SENPAIS

(bc i stalk you from far, far away and we either don’t talk much/at all and never interacted and i want that to change but i’m too intimidated by your everyday PERFECTION AND FLAWLESSNESS ON MY DASH):

@killthebxy​ @sevenbled​ @plannedahead​ @zaldrczes​ @highhking​ @creaturologist​ @dracharenae​

IF I FORGOT ANYONE: i am sorry. i occasionally suck. plus, it’s deadass late. but i suck. yeah. love y’all <3

now let’s do the giveaway thing!!!

MY APPRECIATION FOR THE GOOD, ACTIVE (some inactive bc i’m trash) & TALENTED PEOPLE THAT I FOLLOW & THAT FOLLOW ME, CATEGORIZED.

THE WALKING DEAD

@twdgdeadmanwalking​, @crackinthewhip​, @keptmanners​ @prctecthem​ @morefinesse​ @stillgcod​ @dcadrct​ @victuus​ @weprevail​ @mortuism​ @shitbircl​ @ofstonerisms​ @worldendured​  @childtroubled​ AND SO MANY MORE

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE/GAME OF THRONES

@killthebxy, @longmayshereignxcersei @reekcd, @zaldrczes, @dracharenae @goldenngore @mcsttrusted @bcarexiled​ AND SO MANY MORE

HARRY POTTER

@creaturologist​

                      NARUTO

@bitiing​ @cursemcrked​

GANGSTA.

@taggedbastard​ @paulklee-guild​ @forgedvalor​

FANDOMLESS & MUMU & OTHER FANDOMS & FANDOMS I’M NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH

@emsorcism @ncvabcrn @illicios @corpsepaintd @creolejesus @xendure @sevenbled @bonezone @bloominghands​ AND SO MANY MORE

;& PERSONALS

YOU’RE LIKE THE BEST? i have no idea why so many of you follow me, but i’m super happy to know that you like this blog for some reason. thank you for being here with me. you ROCK!!! ALL OF YOU!!! 

a few honorable mentions: @aesthetic-survivor-of-twd​ @thewalkingclementine​ @rascet​ and @twdgjames​!!<3

____________________________________________________________________________________________

As for the giveaway, I offer the following prizes: one drabble, one edit/promo, five to ten icons, or an aesthetic / moodboard - the choice is entirely yours.

-None of the art unless otherwise stated that will be used in aesthetics and edits are mine.

-I will mostly be doing individuals for aesthetics/drabbles/promo’s/icons, but if you want me to have it ship related, and if i can find the right pictures for aesthetics and icons, this will be done, too.

-If a winner desires a drabble for a prize, I will write any genre you want me to, but you must tell me what exactly you want. The genre, the characters, the settings, the events, canon or alternate universe, what happens in a plot ( if there is any ), whether or not there’s a ship. Lengths and verses may vary. Oneshot, only, no multichapters.

-For aesthetics, the programs I use are ipiccy because unfortunately I don’t have nor use photoshop at the moment. You must tell me exactly what you want.

-My drabbles / aesthetics / icons DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE WALKING DEAD RELATED. I’m perfectly happy with doing prizes in relation to our muses and in other fandoms / alternate universes / crossovers.

-I can show you previews of icons, drabbles, aesthetics and edits while I am doing them, but once I am done with the results, I will not be doing a second version or an update.

-THERE WILL BE FOUR WINNERS.

-We MUST be mutuals - meaning you must be following me in order to have a chance to win.

-Feel free to like and reblog this as many times as you want - it increases your chances.

-However, I must warn you that, due to time restrictions on my part, your prizes might possibly come in a bit slower, I apologize, but it’s the constraints that bind me to this.

-The winners have until tonight at 8:00PM EST, approximately TWELVE HOURS FROM NOW, to be exact, due to time constraints on my part, to contact me. If you do not contact me after tonight is over, you will not earn your prize and it will be given to someone else at random, just as it is with the chosen winners.

[pxppinmolly-archived]

♠ ‽ ✌

BANGS POTS AND PANS. 

♠:A character I desperately want to roleplay with

More Vaggie’s. I’d like to interact with a Vaggie, I’ve only done it once or twice but I think the relationship could be incheresting !!!

‽ An unpopular/unusual ship with my character that I love

WELL. I think every ship with Molly is deemed unpopular and can be even argued ‘unusual’ cus. Lol.

BUT!!

I guess ONE OF THE MANY off the top of my head is Molly and Vox

Because that seems one of the most outlandish ones I think LMAO

Again, another ship with an overlord I never saw or planned to happen but it did and boy do I fucking love it.

It’s hard to explain why I love this ship without getting into two specific RP partners of mine but!!

I really do enjoy the interactions Molly has had with Toxic and Illicit’s Vox. Especially on Discord with Illicit Molly and Vox have had a LOT going on and they’re so very soft and adorable!!! And with Toxic they def are more hot and heavy but have some, I would think, serious feelings and I feel they both kind of. Vibe with a lot of the same. Issues. I think. And I’m very excited to see where things go with them too.

Molly is a character that is very soft! And squishy. But she also is a tough bitch who can tear apart a whole room if she needed to and was driven to. She offers a LOT of validation, attention, affection… She’s a nurse! In more ways than one. She offers a lot of soft love and care and tenderness, so it’s with characters like these I think is what really draws it.

Also I really do love Molly being with overlord powerhouses because that power? Yes. Molly isn’t power hungry, no, but she does like the taste of it and I feel with certain development she might get that to her head. I think it’s incheresting!

✌:A character I played on a whim and FELL IN LOVE WITH

YOU’RE LOOKING AT THEM!

I honestly played Molly absolutely on a whim. I mention in my about I have had Molly in development for over a year, she’s a character I’ve had living in my head long before I decided to make a blog for her.

I forgot what sparked it, but I think it was Glitter making an IC post talking bout Molly from an ask. I decided at 3 AM I’d make a test muse starter call on my OC blog. I had one reply from Glitter from a starter I made and made the blog right then and there.

I originally had this blog low activity because I didn’t see myself going to be writing too much for her and BOY WAS I WRONG!

She’s currently my most active fucking RP blog, and she’s only a sideblog!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 134: A Magnificent Debut

Previously on BnHA: Some yakuza dickwad shot Amajiki with a bullet that deactivated his quirk. Kirishima ran off after him and laid him out with a manly punch. The guy acted like a good defeated villain for about 30 seconds, and then shot himself up with some sort of quirk-enhancing drug. Then he sprouted a bunch of swords from his body and tried to stab Kirishima. Kirishima flashed back to his quirk-strengthening training, and a pep talk that Bakugou gave him about never backing down. Present-day Kirishima then proceeded to hulk out into a badass unbreakable rock man.

Today on BnHA: Kirishima wraps up his fight and, spoiler alert, wins. Everyone congratulates him and it even ends up making the news. Meanwhile, Fat Gum relays the news about the quirk-suppressing and enhancing drugs to Nighteye. Several days later, Kirishima is called back in to his internship along with Deku, Tsuyu, and Ochako. All of them meet up at Nighteye’s office, along with the Big Three, Fat Gum, Ryuukyuu, and even Aizawa and Gran Torino. Nighteye informs them all that he’s gathered them to discuss the Eight Precepts.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 164 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

Kirishima Eijirou has turned into a weird sort of dinosaur looking dude made out of rock

and he’s running toward knifey stabby man, whose swords are now all broken, as you’ll recall

oh damn, knifey stabby man is making one last all-in play here

that’s enough swords to build the goddamn iron throne

Kirishima is taking the entire blow head-on because there are still people behind him and people in the shops around them

he’s so fucking heroic you guys

he’s thinking to himself that he’ll use brute force to overwhelm him. heeeeey. exactly like All Might said, huh

I was just starting to think to myself that I was getting a bit tired of Kirishima just turning into a rock dude and doing muscly rock dude things, and then this fucking happens and I’m like, “but damned if it isn’t satisfying to see Kirishima punch this guy so hard he goes flying off his feet, though”

and then I also remember that my all-time favorite moment in this series is not when Bakugou fought Deku the second time, or when All Might hugged Deku on the beach, or even when All Might hugged Bakugou, but rather when Kouta punched Deku in the nuts that one time

so idk. maybe at the end of the day I’m pretty simple-minded after all

that said, this guy had better be down for real this time

that was pretty manly, dude

one of the bystanders is like, “he’s so young... but such fury...” lmao. yes. look how furious

furious like a damn puppy

knifey stabby has started crying again

he’s fucking asking Kirishima to let him go. um, no lol

what the fuck Kirishima

“sorry I can’t do that because you shot my friend and tried to kill me after you just pulled this exact same stunt two minutes ago. but I will still be empathetic towards you because I’M LITERALLY THE NICEST PERSON”

seriously Kiri, Red Riot isn’t gonna cut it any more. time to change that hero name to Mister Nice Guy

and then when you get really pissed off, you can be all, “THAT DOES IT!!! NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY.” get it. I think it’s a good idea that could really catch on

now what is this son of a bitch up to

are you gonna launch yourself into the air or something. don’t do that, actually. Kirishima’s not that mobile. although it has been a while since we last saw FG so maybe he could show up and catch you

oh look. he is launching yourself into the air

Kirishima’s cursing himself for just standing there and letting him escape again. yeah, you dumb, boy

knifey stabby is gleefully whooping about how Kirishima is way too naive and trusting, and that he’s gonna get away! for sure! no way he’s getting caught!! famous last words, what do you mean, what are those

lol

as many times as this series has pulled the rug out from under me, it’s nice to still be able to call it every once in a while

FG’s capturing the guy with his quirk and reminding Kirishima that while villains may have any number of goals, the heroes’ goals are always the same: capture the villains without any victims

hey, that sounds familiar. basically just another way of saying “win and rescue”, isn’t it? All Might really was right

anyway here’s FG’s quirk

at first I read this as “5000 goopy” and I was like, “what an odd unit of measurement”

Kiri’s standing there excitedly and thinking “wow! FG beat him instantly!” but really all he did was stand there and absorb him into his goop

now a nice Kansai accented man is thanking Kiri and says he did amazing, and that he didn’t fail to notice how Kiri was purposely keeping knifey stabby focused on him so that he wouldn’t attack the others

what a nice thing to say in front of Kiri’s mentor!

LOOK AT THIS WHOLESOME CONTENT

[HAIR RUFFLES!!!!]

now we’re back by the takoyaki place and Kiri is apparently telling FG and Amajiki about the quirk-enhancing drug

FG seems to know a lot about this. he says the short duration indicates the drug is an Asian knockoff. apparently there are African ones that last up to 1-2 hours

how much do you want to bet that Overhaul kept all the long-lasting ones for his best guys

(ETA: sweet jesus imagine if he had. we would still be in that basement to this day)

one of the cops is running over to FG

looks like they found the “bullet” that ricocheted off of Kirishima’s hardened forehead earlier and are going to check it out

Kiri’s asking Amajiki if he’s okay, and Amajiki is hiding himself under his costume hood

he’s embarrassed not just because his quirk stopped working, but because his kouhai had to cover for him. d’aww

he says Kirishima is the same type as Mirio. “another of those that shines bright like the sun”

Kiri says Amajiki shines just as much!

I’m starting to feel like Kirishima may literally be compelled to say something whenever someone around him starts badmouthing themselves. like, he physically can’t stand there and let them

while they bond, Fat Gum is thinking to himself that although he’s familiar with the quirk-boosting drugs, he’s never heard of a drug that makes quirks unusable. and he’s thinking to himself that this doesn’t look good

so they’re gonna take Amajiki to the hospital to get him checked out. good call. why haven’t they already done that, in fact. why were they just standing around talking for so long

“for starters, let’s head back to the office.” dude. I’m glad you’re being chill about this, I guess, but there’s like no urgency at all

BACK TO U.A. HOORAY

Kaminari is excitedly waving his phone in Kirishima’s face and announcing that Kiri made the news

meanwhile Bakugou is grinding his teeth but not actually saying anything. does that count as being supportive

(ETA: ooh I forgot he was in this one panel here. probably because he does absolutely nothing at all. but he really sells that background gag though)

Ochako and Tsuyu made the news too! niiiiiice

Iida is telling them that they’ve “rendered a splendid service”

BUT

sometimes he reminds me of Percy from HP

now they’re talking about supplementary lessons and stuff. actually, yeah, I’m impressed Kiri is managing to juggle both the internship and his schoolwork. unlike the other interning students, he’s in the bottom 25% of the class. Ochako isn’t much better, but I’d bet her grades are more middling

apparently Sero was considering interning too (and he’d be great honestly), but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it. I think he was ranked like 17th out of 20. I just posted that recap pretty recently

while everyone else sits there being excited about their internships, Deku is sitting there being moody af about his. and I can’t honestly blame him. All Might potentially dying, Nighteye believing Deku isn’t good enough and being determined to prove that Mirio is a better choice; and last but not least my poor sweet little jelly bean Eri whom I have not forgotten about and who is still in peril!! :|!

and Deku hasn’t forgotten about her either and says the thought of her is constantly present in his mind day in and day out

now it’s “several days later” and Kirishima and Deku are meeting up outside the dorms early in the morning and seem pleasantly surprised

and the girls too! that’s nice

obviously this is the day of the big operation Nighteye was talking about that he had called in additional agencies to help with. and as we know, their agencies were coincidentally the ones he called

though it doesn’t seem like they’ve actually realized that yet lol

they’re remarking on how they’re all taking the same train even though Kiri’s agency is in Kansai. he says he was told the meeting place is somewhere different than usual

weird that Deku was told he didn’t need his costume though. were the others told the same?

(ETA: I keep forgetting there is a really easy way to verify this, which is just to look and see if they’re actually carrying the costume briefcases lol. and they are not)

also, are their senpais already at the agency? Mirio and the rest?

lmao

how fucking slow are these kids

at this point if I were Deku I’d be half-suspecting some sort of weird surprise party lol

finally they’re turning the corner and there are Mirio, Hadou, and Amajiki

I wonder if Amajiki’s quirk is back yet??

OH MY GOD

EVEN FUCKING AIZAWA IS THERE. and Gran too! AND IS THAT SOME SORT OF FUCKING COCKROACH MAN HOLY SHIT I JUST SUPPRESSED A SHUDDER

so Deku’s freaking out that two of his teachers are there, and he’s trying to figure out what’s going on

dude, you know what’s going on. even I remember, and it’s been more than a week since I read the chapter where Nighteye mentioned this whole thing

so now Nighteye has arrived and is calling the meeting to order

and the chapter is just ending there. lol. okay

 BONUS:

I’m gonna be honest with you guys. I didn’t read this bonus page until literally the night before I posted this recap. it’s like that for all the bonus pages in this volume

and also, I’m not quite sure if this is the correct page for this chapter? but he is in the chapter, albeit just as a background character on that one page with Everybody

anyway. Centipeder. what can I say about him. he scares the living shit out of me. I’m so scared of centipedes. they’re so gross and they’re fucking sneaky and the few times I’ve seen them they were just chilling on the couch or even the bed without any warning omg. one time when I was in college there was a centipede hiding under the strap of my messenger bag and I didn’t notice until I’d already grabbed it and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I would seriously take spiders over centipedes any fucking day

anyway. so here’s a centipede who’s six and a half feet tall. and they say he’s a hero and a gentlemen. sure. okay then. but I don’t trust him. pretty sure he is the U.A. traitor. even though he doesn’t actually work at U.A. he’s evil okay. just... I don’t want to look at him anymore lmao

[iiyanadesu]

As the news of AcEijun spreads like wildfire, I'm gonna spew out some unpopular opinions about the developments (or lack thereof, as complained by some fans) on Act II.

Not really spoilers. Just a personal view from someone who never plays baseball. (Although I had, at one point, played Pawapuro.)

During the first 100 chapters of Act II I read complaints on the spoiler forums. Most of them can be summarized as such:

1. "Why tf Furuya gets power-up in Spring Koshien? His control and stamina is terrible!" 2. "Why haven't people recognize Eijun already? Look at him, his pitches, his control! *does the Will Smith pose*" 3. "Wtf is Kataoka doing throughout spring? Planning on buying new shades? lol"

And one question that arose from Act I:

4. "Why didn't Kataoka let Eijun pitch in the Fall T finals till the end? Don't give the glory to Furuya ffs!"

(There are probably more questions but these are the noticeable ones.)

So my issues with the replies to these questions are that... they are not satisfying to me. All of them are said in the technical aspect of the story, while ultimately forgetting that this story also leans towards the people aspect. We, the readers somehow are trained to think that EVERYONE who watches baseball are players and automatically know the baseball jargons.

The thing is, they aren't.

The in-universe spectators actually have the very same reactions like IRL spectators. Some of them are / were players themselves, meaning they knew all the rules and technicals. But the majority of them? They know NOTHING about baseball.

People who know nothing about baseball (let's call them the plebs) watch the games differently than those who have experience playing baseball. People who do play baseball pay attention to all the details; pitch type, whether a pitch is strike or ball, pitch count for each pitcher, the usage of the strike zones, all the detailed statistics.

But the plebs? They can't differentiate between a corner strike and a corner ball. Curves and slurves, 2-seamers and 4-seamers look the same. So they focus on what they can understand.

Pitch speed display "154 km/h"? Wow look at that pitch, it's damn fast! Players making errors on the field? lolololol what the heck. A runner ramming against a fielder? OMG is the fielder okay? OH, HE GETS HOMERUN!!!!111 And ofc, "Aww look at that pitcher, he's the ace his pitches are fast he even gets a homerun, so cooooooooooooooooool~"

So before you start typing and complain about the spectators, maybe you need to read the manga as someone who never plays baseball. This is a manga with multiple perspectives, if you choose to only read it from a player's PoV ofc you'd wonder why the heck Eijun is not immediately popular in Spring T.

Okay. Opinion time.

1. "Why tf Furuya gets power-up in Spring Koshien? His control and stamina is terrible!"

The statement, that I totally agree. From what I've noticed, Furuya is the type of player who must not go all out in a peak body condition. He has excessive strength - unfortunately it's not needed because it keeps backfiring on him.

Just. Look at all of his matches when he's at peak condition. His pitches go all over the place lol he even injured Ono with them, poor boys.

"But, but how do you explain his best pitches?"

Okay, here's the thing. One thing Furuya always does when he becomes a relief is to pitch in the bullpen. And he always goes all out. After a while he loses that extra strength, he gets sweaty, he's warmed up - then he could pitch better. When he's the starter, he has little to no chance to warm up, no chance to flex the stiff muscles, no way to reduce that excess strength, hence the reason his pitches fly everywhere.

Spring Koshien is a tournament packed in about 7 days. Imagine pitching for many days straight? Your energy gets drained, you sweat a lot, you become fatigued.

Luckily, Spring Koshien is held in - surprise - spring, meaning cool breezy weather, less sweaty, nicely rested. Stamina lasts longer. Fatigue is still there though, and it limits Furuya's pitches.

Aaaaaaaand yep, because fatigue became Furuya's limiter his pitches were more manageable. All of his best pitches are always due to some kind of limiter. Spring Koshien with his fatigue. Fall T finals? It was because he was pitching despite a foot injury lol must be painful, it restricts his movements.

Just. Re-read those matches.

(Miyuki is the only person who notices this particular weakness and has been pointing it out, but Furuya just. Doesn't. Listen. Another huge weakness Furuya has.)

2. "Why haven't people recognize Eijun already? Look at him, his pitches, his control! *does the Will Smith pose*"

This complaint came in during the Spring T arc. Do you know? Only 2 high school baseball tournaments in Japan get TV broadcasts - the Spring Koshien, and the Summer Tournaments all the way to Summer Koshien.

Spring T is not broadcasted on TV, so whatever development Eijun showed was limited only to those who personally went to the stadiums to watch the matches. On the other hand, whatever impression people have on Eijun is still stuck at the Spring Koshien debut. You know, that match where Eijun rolled off the mound lol

If we want all 120 million people to recognize Eijun's greatness during Spring T, they'd have to go to Tokyo and watch in the stadium, which can only fit between 35k to 60k people. Realistically? It's an impossible feat. Seriously. You're dreaming of the impossible.

BUT.

Because Eijun's epic debut is that funny incident, people are not going to forget him that easily. (Compare to the possible scenario on debuting normally, which means he'd definitely be overshadowed by Furuya because what did Eijun have? His pitches was not fast, his batting skills were still questionable. Very easily forgettable.) Now that he's officially appointed as Seidou's ace, what do you think people's reaction would be, now that Summer T will be broadcasted on local TVs and online?

"Hey, isn't that the guy who fell on Koshien's mound last spring? HE'S THE ACE?? WTF HOW?? WHY??"

Oh, people's reactions will be priceless. And they will definitely be interested in him. Because last time they saw this kid, he was a clown.

NOW IT'S EIJUN'S TIME TO SHINE.

3. "Wtf is Kataoka doing throughout spring? Planning on buying new shades? lol"

This question refers to Kataoka's impassiveness throughout Spring Koshien and Spring T. He went silent mode during training and matches and left all players to do things by themselves (under constant monitoring ofc). Yeah we're not the coaches but I do get why he acted like that.

First of all Kataoka wanted the players to think for themselves. Play in matches, watch the replay, recognize their strengths and weaknesses, work on them. Eijun does that. Miyuki does that. Kuramochi and Zono do that. Kataoka did not try to meddle in their training (unlike one old man) but if they ask for help, he will help. Eijun and his batchmates have been teammates for a year, they are supposed to know what to do by now, so Kataoka can focus on new kids.

But of course, his silence didn't help much because Furuya was clearly struggling, to the point that Eijun got royally pissed off in the match against... against who? Was it Ichidai San? I forgot.

(People were like "Yay, look at Miyuki, he has goosebumps! He's very proud of Eijun!" but judging from Miyuki's facial expression I was like, "lolno, Miyuki is fucking scared of Eijun's accurate pitches, Eijun's really pissed off lmao")

Eijun's pissed off pitches were wake-up slaps to Kataoka's face lmao

Aaaaaaand the final question.

4. "Why didn't Kataoka let Eijun pitch in the Fall T finals till the end? Don't give the glory to Furuya ffs!"

My instant response for this question: lol you guys rly don't care about Eijun's mental health, do you.

I want you to imagine this:

It's Fall Tournament, and Eijun has been suffering from yips for about 3 months. He can't pitch to the inside corner; the deadball against Inashiro's Shirakawa in the last Summer T finals made him scared of pitching there. He has to try other ways, other methods, and eventually he learns the outside corner.

The outside corner is so effective, but when the opponents figure out his pitching pattern? They forced him to eventually use the inside corner. He succeeded, yes, but it was still scary. What if he pitched a deadball again?

Fast forward to the semi-finals. Seidou vs. Seikou, a.k.a. the scariest game in Eijun's life. Ever? Probably ever. Because despite his success on pitching into the inside corner, and that he learned change-up, remember that he was still afraid of deadballs, and one wrong step could destroy everything he had worked. For good and for real.

If you actually read the Seidou vs. Seikou match from Eijun's PoV, you'll find that it's indeed fucking scary.

First, he threw a deadball. Just several days after he was able to throw to the inside corner, and he pitched a deadball. The thing he was scared of the most, he did it.

Second, Kanemaru's mistakes. It added more fuel to trigger the yips back in full force. Ever noticed how Eijun's hands tremble after that? Eijun was so fucking scared, he was stressed, he actually panicked. It was thanks to his teammates that he was able to pitch easier after that.

Then when he got an easier time pitching, came another incident. Miyuki was slammed by the big pitcher. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

(I can imagine part of the reason Miyuki hid his pain was because he knew Eijun was already nearing his mental health limit just playing in that game. Imagine if Eijun found out - even he'd be devastated no matter how much he wanted to emit sunshine. That was why Miyuki kept hiding it until the end of the Fall T finals.)

So the finals came ONE DAY after the semi-finals. Eijun's mental health was improving but was still scarred from yesterday's match. Kataoka knew this. Miyuki knew this. Their decision: to not stretch Eijun's mental health limits too far.

And we all know which is the most stressful part of the finals, because we have seen it before - the final innings of the match.

Basically Kataoka pulled Eijun off the final inning to preserve his mental health that had been stretched to its limit due to yesterday's match against Seikou. And you guys wanted him to face the most stressful inning that destroyed him last time in the Summer T? wtf

So what if Furuya hogged the glory? Furuya only pitched in that one inning, he shouldn't be too complacent (even though he was lol)

And that's basically my opinions throughout the so-called unfair treatments throughout the series. Like I said, this manga is not supposed to be read entirely from the technical aspects of high school baseball. You need to understand the people involved in it, too.

Peace. ;)

[devoraakss]

Maybe for modern au...Drunk one night stand with Aveana and Lucio but HE gets attached and keeps finding excuses to visit her

this is going to be so fucking long oh my god i gOT CARRIED AWAY. Maybe i’ll start a series in a modern au centered around this? a whopping 2,585 words im fdgsf

Lucio was no stranger to one night stands. They were fun, simple, easy, chaotic. Everything that Lucio adored. It started like it always did, he had maybe a biiit too much to drink… but he was sober enough to have a coherent conversation and not come off as a total ass.  

He had seen her from across the bar. Like some kind of awful romantic comedy, he knew he had to get closer to her, talk to her– something! If he was lucky, take her home. Lucio knew he was a catch, he’d been flirting all night but… well, he hadn’t seen anyone quite as… eye-catching as she was.

A mess of dark brown hair tied up in a messy bun, pale skin speckled with so many freckles he could make constellations with them if he wanted… Her right arm is inked with intricate geometric designs and he can see the beginnings of another tattoo on her thigh, peeking out from under the hem of her short dress that hugged her hips so perfectly. Her body was sinfully curvy, with thighs that look like they could kill a man. she looked so soft and plump… He had to at least try to get a piece of that.

When he finally tears his eyes from the rest of her, he’s been caught. a startling pair of mismatched eyes are staring him down, and a teasing smile plays on her full lips. Well, if he didn’t move now he’d just look like a creep.

With relative ease, Lucio stands and strides over to where she sat at the bar, taking the empty seat beside her and offering her a charming smile. “You come here often?”

This… exquisite woman laughs, blessing his ears with her musical voice– He swears she looks more beautiful than he does… It must have been the alcohol.

“Classic conversation starter… maybe I do.”

Her voice is like silk, sending shivers down his spine and making him think of what else that mouth of hers can do… especially with those pouty lips.

“That’s odd, because I’ve never seen you before, and I know I’d remember a pretty face like yours.”

“Oh? you sound very sure of yourself.” She moves and her skirt slips a little higher up her legs and gods, what he wouldn’t give to have those thighs wrapped around his head– Lucio quickly looks away banishing those thoughts from his mind. The last thing he needed was to pop a stiffy in the middle of the crowded bar– though it would be interesting. He wasn’t interested in a quickie by the bathroom, he wanted so much more than that. To drag his hands over her curves, bruise her, mark her, have her screaming his name… Speaking of…

“If there’s one thing I have an abundance of it’s confidence, my dear… I don’t believe I caught your name.”

She gives him a look that is mildly amused, giving her drink a stir. “Aveana. and you are?”

Lucio grins, resting his elbow on the bar as he leaned a bit closer to her. “My name’s Lucio, Aveana.” He lets her name roll off his tongue in a sultry purr, and by the way her eyebrow arches at him, biting her bottom lip… She was as… interested in him as he was in her.

“What do you say we get out of here? I’m sure I can show you a good time, if you’re interested.”

Aveana laughs once again, finishing off her drink with a smile. “That sounds like an invitation if I’ve ever heard one.” 

Lucio can feel his heart racing in his chest, holy shit this was working? of course it was, she would have to be blind if she wasn’t interested in someone as enthralling as himself. “It was, are you coming with me, or am I going home lonely tonight?” Lucio teases, but he hopes to god she says yes. Being able to run his hands down those supple hips of hers… He just might be drooling a little. Aveana gives him a look that’s almost searing, incredible mismatched eyes gazing at him like he is the mouse and she is the cat. She stands from her seat at the bar, flagging down the bartender to pay for her drink and then turning back to him, a haughty smile on her lips. “Your place or mine?”

Lucio woke up with the hangover from hell, coupled with two sets of paws digging into his back. Mercedes and Melchior were barking up a storm, excitedly stepping all over him in their attempts to stir him from his sleep, which only served to make his head throb even more. His dogs still when they see he’s awake and they excitedly shove their cold snouts under the covers, the shock nearly making Lucio fall off the bed, but he manages to keep them at bay with his foot. “m’fuckin’ dogs… go away.”The dogs huff, but seeing as they are not  dragging their human out of bed anytime soon, scramble over him and run out the door to his bedroom, barking and snapping at each other.Bloodshot silver eyes flicker open, squinting angrily at the sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window of his penthouse. He huffs angrily, grabbing one of the satin red pillows and putting it over his head, trying to bury deeper into the sheets. He was almost back to sleep when his phone buzzed from where it sat haphazardly on his nightstand. With another irritated huff he reaches for his phone, feeling around before his hand closes around the device. He turns it on and winces at the brightness, quickly turning it down before squinting to read his notifications… A new text from Nadia– he had seventeen missed messages, and two missed calls… Damn… what time was it? He glares at the clock and groans. 2:30 pm. 

He had a lunch date with Nadia and he missed it. Well he didn’t want to go anyways but he always at least tried to make an effort. He sighs, quickly typing back a half-assed response to Nadia– ‘srry noddy 2 hungover to care lmao’ with a few emojis just to piss her off.The missed calls were both from Valerius, no doubt because Nadia had been furious he missed their engagement. Lucio shrugs and sets his phone back on the nightstand, content to go back to sleep before– There is a angry banging on his door, muffled voices reaching his ears. The sound makes Mercedes and Melchior go ballistic. Lucio snarls a few curses into the pillows, kicking the covers off himself like an angry child who was just told to get up for school. Pulling himself from the comfort of his bed he is suddenly struck by the fact that he was bare ass naked. This wasn’t too odd, though a quick look in the mirror reminded him of the… adventure he had the night before. Dark purple bruises are setting in on his neck, shoulders and chest, a quick glance at his back shows angry red scratches– and it all brings a shit eating grin to his face. It came back in blurs, but the more he remembered the faster it started coming back. Aveana. He didn’t bother looking for her, he figured she was long gone, but there was that small part of him, the silent disappointment that he likely wouldn’t see her ever again… another impatient bang at his front door drags him from his thoughts and he quickly fishes out a pair of sweatpants from the clothes piled on one of the couches in his room and tosses them on, hand coming to rub at his temple as he makes his way towards the door. “Fuckin’ hell I’m coming! good gods…” Lucio barks out, and Mercedes and Melchior race to the door, nearly tripping him as he reaches it. 

“Mercedes! Melchior! G– augh, Go away!” 

He shoos the dogs off, placing himself between them and the door to keep them from running out. He grumbles as he undoes the lock, cracking the door open to reveal a furious Nadia. Scarlet eyes bore into him but he can’t find it in himself to care how angry she was, returning her gaze with an unimpressed praise of his brow. “What did I do this time.” Nadia’s gaze is scorching, and not in the good way. “I know you don’t care about a lot of things but when we make plans to have lunch, with my parents, I expect you to arrive!! I can tolerate being a bit late but blowing it entirely? And making me look foolish?!”  

She shoves her way into the luxurious penthouse and he lets her, rolling his eyes as she passes– though he wasn’t expecting the shorter, white haired person that follows her. Asra is staring at his phone texting someone as he enters behind her, gaze flickering to look at Lucio with a disgusted scrunch of his nose, shaking his head with a sigh. “Nadia, I hate to say I told you so, buuut…” “Then don’t!” Nadia fumes, heading to the kitchen and grabbing one of Lucio’s favorite wines. Lucio makes a face, like he just bit into the worlds sourest lemon. 

“Sure, make yourselves right at home.” He comments flatly, glaring at Asra as he shuts the door behind them. His house was by no means fit for guests, and Lucio was only just now seeing the clothes strewn around the living area… were those his boxers on the counter?Nadia doesn’t seem to notice, not even bothering with a proper glass as she uncorks the bottle and takes a strong swig of it. “Aw, c’mon, Nadia that’s–” “Shut up! You don’t get to bitch about your wines! Do you know how long my sisters are going to hold this over my head!? ‘Oh, poor Nadi, can’t make her husband show up for a simple luncheon’ I’ll never hear the end of it,” she rounds on Lucio, pointing accusingly at him with one perfectly manicured fingernail.

“And it’s all. Your. Fault. Our relationship is for show but you kind of defeat it’s purpose when you don’t fucking show up!” 

Nadia collapses into one of the chairs at the island counter, steepling her fingers against her temple. Asra clicks his tongue, sliding into the seat beside her and propping his feet on the counter. “Gonna take a bit to fix that one, Lucio.” Lucio rolls his eyes again, willing to say just about anything to make them both go away. His hangover was making Nadia sound like a shrill harpy, and Asra was beginning to sound a lot like Camio…

 “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I forgot.” He begrudgingly apologizes, moving to rifle around in his medicine cabinet for something to soothe the ache in his head. “Convenient.” Nadia snaps back, but she doesn’t sound too mad anymore… she must have ranted most of her anger to Portia before coming over to chew him out. If it weren’t for both of their parents fixing up their relationship Nadia and Lucio wouldn’t even have to make an effort to be together– but alas. Here they were. Nadia makes a disgusted sound, and when Lucio turns around Nadia is glaring at a.. Thin piece of fabric draped over the table, the dark red lace a clear indicator that it wasn’t his. Lucio quickly grabs the underwear and tosses them somewhere in the living room– if he had any shame, he would be blushing, but the only thing on his face is that shit eating grin. “Sorry about that.” he remarks, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. “I cannot stand you.” Nadia fumes, taking another drink of wine and resting her head on the marble counter. Lucio chuckles, shrugging his shoulders. “So you’ve said before.” the next hour is Nadia ranting about what exactly transpired at this lunch, and the longer she talks the more Lucio is glad he missed the damned thing. The second the two of them leave he promptly passes out on the couch. 

Lucio spends the next few days making it up to Nadia, going to a brunch with both her parents and her sisters– it was painful to sit through. Especially when his thoughts were occupied with someone else. He couldn’t get Aveana off his mind, it was stupid and foolish but he was 100% sober and remembered every moment of them together. It was a simple one night stand, but he silently hoped that if he returned to that bar… he would see her again. This distracted state of mind led to many questions from Nadia’s family met with a confused ‘Huh?’ or ‘I’m sorry, what?’ Which served to make Nadia more flabbergasted, and afterwards Lucio made up some half-assed excuse about having another engagement to get away from her.A quick text to Valerius and he had a ride home, so that was taken care of.. in the mean time, maybe he could do some shopping– Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the person in front of him until he walked right into them. A disgruntled ‘oof’ left Lucio’s mouth, his face screwing up in a displeased scowl, perfectly stylized brows drawing together. 

“Hey, watch where you’re–” His breath caught in his throat when he saw those familiar blue and gold eyes, expression going from a scowl to one of utter shock. “Lucio?!” Aveana looked just as startled, her voice cracking on his name, nearly dropping her phone in her hands.They both stare at each other for a few seconds– though to Lucio it seems like hours, and his heart is slamming against his ribcage. He knows exactly what she looks like under those clothes, the expanse of soft skin covered in gorgeous lines of ink, the freckles that dot over every inch of her. He knows how she feels beneath his hands, soft and perfect. He knows how she sounds when his lips are on her neck and– “Lucio, what the fuck” Asra’s voice shatters his thoughts and his expression is back to that scowl of his, silver eyes darting over to him. He’s so thrown he says the first thing that comes to his mind. “What are you gawking at?” Asra has his arm hooked through Aveana’s in a friendly manner which floors Lucio even more– Asra knew her! Asra knew her and all this time he could have– no, no, scratch that, Asra probably wouldn’t have told him even if he asked. “You’re the one gawking, goatshit–” “Asra.” Aveana gives him a hard jab in the side, cheeks bright red as she cuts her eyes at him. Asra makes a face, glancing at his friend. “Hold on, are you telling me you know him?” Lucio grins, folding his arms. “We do indeed know each other. I think I still have something of yours back at my apartment, too…” he remarks offhandedly, giving her a knowing look and watching the blush on her cheeks just spread.  

Asra opens his mouth to speak, but then he stops himself, eyes going wide. “Hold the fuck on, just a minute,” He’s sputtering now, violet eyes wide and accusing in Lucio’s direction.“Asra, we really should get back to Muriel, you know he doesn’t like staying in the food court by himself…” Aveana tries to interject but Asra is all out glaring at Lucio now, it was too late. “Those– on the counter?!– I cannot fucking believe you!” Asra’s abject horror only makes Lucio’s grin widen, which in turn makes Asra even more irritated. Aveana quickly pushes Asra towards the direction of the food court, offering Lucio a sheepish smile. 

“I’ll, uh… stop by your place later to grab that… thing..” She mutters, averting her gaze from him and tugging Asra off in the opposite direction. Lucio watches with an emboldened sense of glee forming in his chest. He had this little dove in his grasp again, and this time? He didn’t intend to let her go.