#i forgot to copy and when i pasted it put a selfie i had in my clipboard into the tumblr post box! and that was a terrifying experience

[antiadvil]

day 6 of posting wip snippets for the phandommetrics

The first thing Dan did when he got back to their flat was take a shower. He let Phil sit in the bathroom with him, just in case, but it was an uneventful shower. The lights were on their dimmest setting, and they didn’t talk: Phil just sat, cross-legged, on the ground, listening to the water run.

[theblacklupins]

The bunch of keys in Remus’ hands jingled as he unlocked the glass door, opening the doors to the big space of bookshelves filled to the brim with leather bound books. Turning around, he smiled serenely as he looked around. Sunlight filtered through the gaps of the curtains.

He opened them, light now illuminating the entire bookstore. He sighed as he turned on the air conditioning, letting a cool breeze sweep over the entire shop.

He loved his job. He was surrounded by things he loved and it was all so calm and peaceful. Everything was what it was supposed to be.

Remus went behind the counter, clearing up any dust that had been left behind the day before. He looked at the clock.

“Eight,” he murmured, smiling softly to himself. “Gives me an hour, then.”

He shrugged on his coat, fixed his hair a bit and headed out with his wallet and phone, locking the doors again.

He headed down the street to which he’d just moved into, admiring the cute houses and occasional shop. He smiled brightly when he walked up to the place he’d been coming to ever since he opened his store.

He pushed open the glass doors, the smell of baked goods and coffee making his stomach rumble.

He stepped up behind two people who were queuing, silently pulling out his phone to scroll through Instagram. He smiled at Lily’s selfie with Marlene and Mary in the background. He commented sarcastic eye roll emojis and hearts and put his phone in his pocket when it was his turn to order.

“The usual, Mr. Lupin?”

Remus smiled shyly and he nodded, looking up only to find his breath taken away, as always.

Because in front of him was the cafe cashier, Sirius Black, wearing a white apron and a black turtleneck underneath, hair tied up in a messy bun.

“Yeah,” Remus replied a little breathlessly. “The normal.”

“Iced latte and chocolate muffin!” Sirius yelled to the people manning the food and drinks a few meters behind him. He faced Remus again, shaking his head amusedly. “Don’t know why you still drink an iced latte in this cold ass weather.”

Remus let out a small laugh. “Don’t know either.”

Sirius perked up. “Almost forgot. Now, don’t tell anyone, but...”

Sirius slid a paper bag with two warn double chocolate chip cookies in it. Remus blinked and shook his head, trying to refuse but Sirius pushed him away as another customer entered the store. Remus sighed as he took the cookies and waited at the side of the store for his order. In less than ten minutes, his name got called and he collected his order, sending a fleeting smile towards Sirius and then rushing out of the cafe.

Every day it was like this. Head over to the cafe, buy breakfast, maybe flirt a little with Sirius, run out to tend to his bookshop and be busy for the rest of the day. Only talking to Sirius once every day, and then going to sleep thinking about his smile.

It could be better, but Remus wasn’t going to start complaining.

He sighed as he bit into the muffin, deciding to save the cookies for later.

𓅰𓅰𓅰

Remus woke up late on a Friday, because he’d been up late arranging and sorting out the new delivery of books that he’d ordered. He only collapsed on his bed at two in the morning, not even bothering to change his clothes.

He woke in a panic at fifty minutes past seven and hurriedly got ready and went down his bookstore. His apartment was situated a level above the bookshop, so it was much more convenient instead of having to wake up much earlier and then having to walk. Which meant that even if he woke up late, he wouldn’t be too late.

He managed to run down the stairs, nearly twisting his foot and unlocking the doors only eight minutes late. Thankfully, there weren’t any customers yet. People usually came in in the late afternoons or just before dinner, which gave Remus plenty of time to sort out orders and deliveries for books.

But only after a half an hour, people started coming in, streaming through the doors and browsing the shelves. Remus was surprised; usually only a few people came in once a day. Why so many now, and in such a short amount of time?

“Hey!”

Remus jerked, head looking up and eyes widening.

“Sirius?”

Sirius grinned, now wearing a leather jacket instead of his usual white apron. “Hey, stranger. Noticed how you didn’t come into the cafe today. Here.” He placed Remus’ order of iced latte and chocolate muffin — plus an extra two cookies — and leaned against the wooden counter.

“Nice thing you’ve got going on here,” Sirius commented lightly, smiling at the books. “It feels like it would be calm. Well, calm if there weren’t a crowd of people here right now.”

Remus laughed. “Yeah, sorry, don’t know why either. Usually it’s really quiet until later. And I didn’t head to the cafe because I woke up late. Been up all night sorting everything out.”

Sirius pursed his lips. “I... may know the reason why you’ve gotten a bunch of customers all of a sudden.”

Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

“I may have... promoted your bookstore a bit? Yesterday?”

Remus blinked. “What?”

Sirius scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I, uh, went onto my cafe’s social media platforms and uh, promoted your bookshop.”

Remus whipped out his phone and went to Twitter, searching the cafe Sirius worked at, and sure enough, a picture of his bookshop, taken while Remus wasn’t in. The light from the sun illuminated the inside through the windows, making the entire shop nearly glow. The caption above stated:

Mr. Lupin’s bookshop is a must to visit once you’ve bought from us! Books and cafe delights are something to bring peace to heart and mind. Check out Mr. Lupin’s bookshop and you won’t be disappointed, with your favorite titles about romance, adventure or fantasy at your fingertips with a cup of coffee right beside.

Remus’ eyes widened and he looked up at Sirius, who smiled sheepishly. Before he could say anything, though, a few customers started to line up. Sirius had to move to the side so Remus could help them.

Once that was tended to, Remus faced Sirius, who had sidled up next to him behind the counter. “You— you really did that.”

Sirius grinned. “I did.”

Remus smiled softly, blushing just a tiny bit. “Thanks. This... really means a lot to me.”

Sirius’ grin turned softer, quieter, more of an adoring look than a smile at that point. “You’re welcome. I’m glad it made you happy.”

An elderly woman came up to the desk, holding a copy of Anne Frank. “Hello dears, how much is this?”

Remus helped her with her payment, and when she had the paper bag in her arms securely, she asked sweetly, “You boys look very sweet together. Reminds me if my own grandson and his husband.”

Remus blushed and became flustered, trying to explain how he and Sirius weren’t together, but he was silenced when Sirius replied, “Thank you, ma’am. I like to think we look good together too.”

She smiled serenely and walked out of the store, leaving behind a stuttering Remus.

“You...”

“Go out on a date with me, Remus Lupin?” Sirius asked quietly, fiddling with his fingers. “I know— we don’t talk a lot, but I’m really smitten with you and I’m hoping—"

Remus cut him off with a chaste kiss, only pressing in a couple of seconds before parting.

“Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you,” Remus breathed. He jumped when a wolf whistle sounded through the shop, and everyone started applauding. Remus blushed furiously and shrunk back, glaring at Sirius who grinned at him and bowed as if he was part of a show that dramatically changed everyone’s lives.

𓅰𓅰𓅰

“So we’re having a coffee date right?”

“Would be wrong not to, to be honest.”

[angelatmidnight1]

If We Could Turn Back Time

A/N: So, this idea came to me randomly and I was too excited not to write it. I was inspired by Horizon’s and Mirage’s voice lines and the song Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots. I love the mother-son dynamic between the two characters, and I wrote this story with that in mind. Space mom is best mom, and I hope you like the story!

Before joining the Apex Games, Horizon made a promise to her dear son, Newton. She promised that she would return home safe and sound after she returned from her dangerous mission. She made this promise before Dr. Reid betrayed her and left her to die in a black hole. Eighty-seven years have passed since Horizon made this promise, but the astrophysicist remains determined to see it through. This is especially true on January 6, the day that would’ve been her son’s eighty-eighth birthday. Horizon, using her current winnings from the Apex Games, hunkers down inside her lab to conjure up a new spacecraft that would take her back in time to be with him. Everything goes smoothly until it unexpectedly crashes, but Horizon is determined to get it working. The astrophysicist becomes so engrossed in her work that she forgets that she was supposed to have tea and scones with Mirage. The trickster heads to her lab and finds a tense, tear-stricken Horizon. Elliot panics and rushes to her side, urging her to talk to him. Dr. Somers voices her frustrations, even going as far to denounce herself as a mother for leaving Newton behind. Horizon breaks down moments later; Elliot steps in to put a smile back on her face. 

“Repulsors, check…” Horizon chewed on her pen as she rounded the corner in her lab. She had a clipboard in her hand with her latest blueprints taking up the majority of the page. The astrophysicist had spent a considerable amount of time on the spacecraft’s design, and she was certain that she covered every detail down to a T. All that was left to do was to test it. 

“Stabilisers, check…” She looked up from the clipboard as she approached the spacecraft. She ran her hand along the smooth surface of the ship, humming thoughtfully. There were no scratches, no dents, no holes...everything seemed to be in place. Dr. Somers rounded the spacecraft once, twice, and even a third time before she felt comfortable enough to enter it. This is going to work… She thought. It has to.

“Best buddy…?” Horizon called out expectantly and hugged her clipboard to her chest. There was a brief delay before N.E.W.T. came floating in the room after her, beeping happily. She turned to her bot and grinned, stepping up onto it and laughing when he did a little spin. “Check.”  

N.E.W.T. carried the scientist over to a small panel on her leftmost wall. The panel served as a mechanism that would simulate zero gravity inside the laboratory. Horizon flicked a switch on the panel and gently tapped her foot against the bot. The bot compiled by carefully boosting her upwards so that she could float back over to the spacecraft. Horizon settled into the seat with N.E.W.T. nestling beside her. 

“Alright, little Newtie,” She said with a hopeful smile, “"Let's have a wee play with the laws of physics, shall we?"

N.E.W.T. beeped in the affirmative and watched as the scientist gripped the thrusters. She powered up the spacecraft and beamed as it roared to life. The sound grew louder and a bright light emitted from the propulsion systems. The spacecraft rose into the air and hovered in place, which made Horizon cheer. It was working! Recreating the ship she took in the past was a small step towards home, but it was progress. The scientist slowly steered the ship towards her left and right hand side to test the mobility. Then, she decided to do a full 360 degree turn, which is where the ship began to shake. 

“Easy, girl. Just a wee bit higher…” Dr. Somers murmured, squeezing the thrusters and steering the ship further up. A low whine emitted from the spacecraft as a response and, much to the scientist’s disappointment, the ship came crashing down moments later. Horizon squeaked and pulled N.E.W.T. into her lap, looking down at him worriedly. 

“You alright, darlin’? Are ya hurt?” The astrophysicist scanned the bot for any dents and patted the top of his head soothingly. N.E.W.T. beeped and flickered his light twice. It was a system they had; one flick meant yes, two flicks meant no. Horizon breathed a sigh of relief before she climbed out of the ship. She floated back over to the panel to switch off the zero gravity simulation. Her Spacewalk perk allowed her to gracefully land on the ground, and she took another breath as she approached the spacecraft. The leftmost delta wing had fallen off and both of the ship’s boosters were cracked. The astrophysicist let out a mild curse as she assessed the damage. 

“Damn it...was it a miscalculation somewhere? A six where there should’ve been a seven?” Horizon mumbled to herself as she looked at her clipboard again. She didn’t immediately see the error and dropped the clipboard on her desk with a sigh.  N.E.W.T. hovered over to her and nudged her leg, looking up at her. Dr. Somers looked down and leaned over to pet him again. “We’ll get this, Newtie.” She affirmed, her eyes finding the damaged ship. But then, she looked at her desk again and saw the small, framed picture of her and her son. “We promised.”

After repairing the spacecraft’s damages, Horizon made another attempt to steer it through the air...only to be met with the same results. She wrung her hands through her red hair and, after some more repairs and new calculations, tried to fly it again. But, this time, she couldn’t even get the ship into the air! The repair-recalculate-crash pattern continued well into the early evening hours, and didn’t stop there. After another crash, which completely destroyed the right side of the ship, the astrophysicist angrily dropped her clipboard onto her desk. 

“No, no, NO! I had it!” Horizon yelled, abandoning the ruins of the ship and dropping into the chair at her desk.  N.E.W.T. flinched and fled to the corner of the room.  The astrophysicist buried her face into her hands and exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, Newtie. I didn’t mean to scare ya. It’s just--he’s countin’ on me. It’s the one thing that he ever asked me to do...just keep a promise…” She stated in a whisper, glancing up to her son’s picture again. Horizon let out a shaky breath as she took the picture in both of her hands. A tear slipped down the woman’s face and, pretty soon, more tears followed suit. 

In the corridor that led to Horizon’s lab, Mirage came strutting down with a grin on his face. The trickster had scored another win in the Apex Games, totaling up to his fifth win in a row. After the game, he spent time interviewing, signing autographs, and taking selfies with his fans. He snagged a copy of the magazine that had his face on the front cover before hurrying to Horizon’s lab. The astrophysicist had invited him over for tea and scones after his game, and Mirage had plenty to talk about! The trickster strolled right up to the laboratory door and rapped his knuckles against it.

“Hey hey, Dr.Somers! I’m here and ready to par-tea!” He chuckled; he was proud of that one. Normally, he would hear machines humming from inside the lab...but it was oddly quiet. The astrophysicist was also normally quick to answer the door and deliver a pun of her own which, he had to admit, were pretty good. So, for a solid minute, Elliot stood at the door and waited for any indication that she was around. Certainly she didn’t forget about him coming over? Mirage waited a bit longer and, the disappointment weighing down on him, finally turned to leave. But then, the door opened with a gentle squeak. 

“There you are!” Mirage grinned and faced the door. “I started to think you forgot about me! I even got a little miss-tea eyed---”

The trickster stopped speaking when N.E.W.T. floated into the hallway. Mirage furrowed his eyebrows; how did he manage to open the door? The bot looked up at him and beeped softly, nudging the side of his foot. 

“Oh, hey buddy.” Elliot smiled and knelt down to the bot’s level. “Where’s Horizon? Is she here? If not, I can come back later! I don’t wanna, ya know, be a  nuance--news--...you know what, I can just come back later.”

N.E.W.T. beeped again and nudged Mirage’s foot with urgency. “What?” Elliot’s brows furrowed again and he stood back up. The bot got in front of him and blocked the path back that would lead him away from the laboratory. “You wanna show me something?”

N.E.W.T. hovered up and down before floating further into the laboratory. The bot kept looking back to see if the trickster was following him and, when he didn’t come right away, he beeped sadly. 

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” Elliot entered the laboratory and closed the door behind him. He half expected Dr. Somers to be waiting for him on the other side of the door, but there was still no sign of her. He hesitated; he had been in her lab plenty of times, but didn’t normally roam around unless she said it was alright. He didn’t want to accidentally get sucked into another dimension! But, the bot seemed anxious as it led the trickster up to another large door. Mirage sighed and helped N.E.W.T. open the door before heading into the room. 

“Oh, Newtie, I told you. I'm fine.” Horizon spoke quietly from the opposite side of the room. Her back was facing the door so Elliot couldn’t see her face, but the trickster could hear a quiver in her voice. N.E.W.T. beeped sadly again and bumped Mirage’s shoe, his optic going from him to Dr. Somers. Elliot cleared his throat and tentatively stepped further into the room, startling the astrophysicist. “Dr. Somers? You okay?” 

“Elliot! Oh goodness, dear, you scared me.” Horizon started to turn and face the trickster, but stopped halfway and kept her back to him. She was still sitting at her desk and had something in her hand that Mirage couldn’t see. “How did you manage the door? I’m sure I locked it…”

“N.E.W.T. opened it,” Mirage explained before walking towards the scientist. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re--whoa!” The trickster paused and finally noticed the destroyed ship. “What happened there?”

“Bloody thing crashed. I had her in the air just a few hours ago, and  now she won’t fly. I’ve run tests, redid all of my calculations, patched her up…” Horizon’s voice got louder the more she spoke, which startled Mirage. He’s never heard her yell before, not even when they were participating in the Games. It was then that the scientist finally turned around, and Mirage could see her red, teary eyes. “I know there’s something I’m missing. But I just---I don’t know what it is. And I have to do this, Elliot, I have---”

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s okay,” Mirage panicked and immediately rushed to Horizon’s side. He hated to see others upset; it tore him up inside. He put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re the smartest person I’ve met, Dr. Somers. I’m sure you can rebuild it.”

Horizon shook her head and wiped her eyes. “There’s more to it than that…” She whispered, handing over the picture she was holding.  It was a younger Horizon holding a smiling boy in her arms. “Today is Newton’s birthday,” She sniffled, “And I’m no closer to home than I when I left.”

“Oh…” Mirage held the picture and looked at it thoughtfully. It reminded him of the pictures he’d take with his own mother. For a moment, he felt a pang of sadness in his own heart, but then he refocused on the woman in front of him. “It looked like you two were close.”

“Oh, he was a rascal.” Dr. Somers stepped closer so that she could look at the photo too. “Couldn’t get him out of trouble before he fell back in again.” Dr. Somers wiped her eyes and smiled faintly. “When I told him I was leaving, he bawled from sun up to sun down. I thought he’d try to sneak into the car just to come with me. But that night, I sat him down and said, ‘Dinnae worry, Newtie. Yer maw will be back before you know it. I promise.”

Horizon’s eyes threatened to spill over again. “The world was about to destroy itself, Elliot. The world that my little boy was going to inherit one day. I didn’t want that to happen. All we needed was Branthium. But when I look back...” She gently touched the corner of the frame. “All I can think about is my wee boy waiting for his maw to come back. He waited so many years and...oh, Elliot, what kind of mother leaves her child behind?”

Dr. Somers began to cry and Mirage gently pulled her in for a hug. “Aw, Dr. Somers, don’t cry.” The trickster rubbed her back, and Horizon rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m sure he knew how much you loved him. I mean, you went to save the world. All for him! That had to make you a superhero in his book.” Elliot tried to lighten the mood but when she sobbed, all he could do was hug her tighter. 

“...Maybe, Dr. Somers, instead of thinking about the lost time…” Mirage continued after her sobbing calmed down a bit, “Think about the time you did spend with Newton. The times where you two laughed together, spent time together, ate some good food. Ya know, the good times.” 

Horizon met Elliot’s eyes after another moment of silence and nodded. “Aye, you’re right. We did share some fond memories together.” The astrophysicist responded with a small smile gracing her face. She recalled a memory of her and Newton at dinner, where he decided to stick carrots inside of his nose and pretend to be a walrus. At the time, Mary worried that he’d accidentally get the carrots stuck; but now, it was just one of the many things that Newton did that made her smile. Mirage beamed when he saw Horizon smiling. 

“There we go. You’re smiling already! Just keep those thoughts in mind and it’ll be much easier to build something that’ll take you back to your son.” Mirage smiled, “It also helps that you can literally control the universe.” 

Dr. Somers’ smile brightened as she wiped her eyes again. “Well...”

“You can! I’ve seen it first hand. N.E.W.T. is out of this world.” Mirage smiled some more when the woman chuckled. “Oh, did you like that joke?” The trickster grinned, “Because I totally didn’t planet.”

Mary finally laughed and shook her head. “You’re funny.” She giggled, seeing N.E.W.T. float over to them and look up at her. She let out a little sigh as she knelt down to pet him. “I’m sorry, Newtie. Yer maw’s just feeling a bit forlorn. But there’s no replacing you, dear. You’re my best friend.” 

N.E.W.T. perked up and beeped happily, cuddling against her side. This made Horizon laugh again, and the gears in Mirage’s head started turning. Mary looked up at Elliot and noticed her reflection in a mirror behind him.

“Oh, I’m a mess. I’m sorry you had to see me this way, Elliot.” Dr. Somers frowned and wiped the rest of the tears off her face. Mirage shook his head and helped the woman to her feet. 

“Don’t worry about it, Dr. Somers,” Mirage smiled, “ I can keep a secret. It’s one of my many talents.” 

Horizon returned the smile with N.E.W.T. happily circling her feet. “Thank you, dear. You’re very kind.”

“Anytime, doc. So, how long did it take you to build all this?” Mirage nodded towards the spacecraft before approaching it. Although half of it was destroyed, the trickster still thought it was impressive that one person built it alone. Horizon followed him and observed her work. 

“Oh, maybe about, ehm...three days or so? It was really just the better part of a couple of afternoons.” The astrophysicist knelt down to gather some debris from the floor, sighing. “But now it’s back to the drawing board..”

The trickster didn’t want to lose her to her work just yet, so he followed her lead and gathered more debris from the floor. “Well, since I’m here,” Mirage started, “ Maybe I can help you put some pieces back together. More hands, less work, right?”

Horizon dropped some debris in a large waste bin by her door and looked at the trickster. “Are you sure, Elliot? I don’t want you troublin’ yourself over me.”

“It’s no trouble! Just tell me what to put where, and I’ll do it. It’ll be a piece of cake.” Mirage grinned, getting rid of his own debris before returning to the ship. He eagerly slapped the side of the spacecraft, flinching when he accidentally knocked another piece of it off. He looked up at the astrophysicist sheepishly. “Uh, I’ll put that back…”

Horizon chuckled and went over to the trickster, picking up the piece to discard it. “Dinnae worry about it, darlin’. Nothin’ the two of us cannae fix.”

The duo spent the next two hours cleaning the area around the ship before they, mainly Horizon, began the repairs. While they worked, Mirage asked her where she managed to find all of the supplies to build the ship. He didn’t remember World’s Edge or King’s Canyon having these materials laying around, after all. This sparked a conversation about what Dr. Somers used to build the ship, and how easy it was to find the supplies if one knew where to look. This was Elliot’s chance to strike. After welding the leftmost delta wing back on, Horizon returned to her desk to write some more notes on her clipboard. Mirage slowly walked over and stood behind her, poking her side. The scientist flinched and accidentally drew a line across the page. She turned around to face a now smirking trickster, raising a brow. “Did you need something, dear?”

“Yeah, where’d ya say this goes, again?” Mirage held up a triangular piece of the ship as he looked at her. The astrophysicist was holding her arm closer to the side he poked, which only made him smirk some more. Horizon gave him a quizzical look at first, but then visibly relaxed as she put the clipboard back down. 

“Oh, I’ll show you.” Dr. Somers led Elliot back over to the ship and gestured to the appropriate location. It was at the upper part of the ship; not out of her reach, but high enough where she had to reach up a bit. “You can put it right hehehere---!”

Horizon flinched and giggled when she felt a pair of hands squeeze her sides. She lurched out of the sudden squeeze and stepped away from the obviously guilty Mirage. “Whahaht on eahahrth are you doing?”

“What? I thought you were gonna fall, so I was just holding you up! I’m only the best person you could ever be friends with, so what would it say about me if I didn’t catch you?” Mirage chuckled, putting the spaceship piece down and following after her. “And you know what?” The trickster grinned, holding his hands out in front of him and wiggling his fingers. “I’d be an awful friend if I didn’t make sure you were all cheered up~.”

The realization dawned on Horizon and her face turned red. “Now wait just seechohohohnd! Elliot!” She tittered when he managed to squeeze her sides again. Before he could squeeze a third time, she grabbed his hands, pulling them off of her sides. “Let’s nohohohot get ahead of ourselves.” She giggled, “I’m fine. Really.” 

“But that’s what they all say!” Mirage playfully argued, pulling his hands out of her grip. “I’ve gotta be sure! That’s what friends are for.”

With that, the trickster lunged forward and pulled the scientist towards him. Dr. Somers squeaked and attempted to push him away, making it easier for him to reach under her arms and tickle her armpits. 

“Nohohohohoh Eheheheheliot dohohohohn’t!” Horizon gasped and brought her arms down against her sides. This only helped with keeping Mirage’s hands in place as he gently scribbled his fingers against her hollows. “STaahahahahahahap!”

Mirage raised a brow and gently scraped two nails down the center of each of her armpits. “Don’t stop?” The trickster repeated, having to raise his voice a bit when the scientist belted out a laugh. “Well, okay, if that’s what the doctor ordered…”

“No! No no no noohohohohoh thahahahat’s nahahahat wahahahaht I mehahahahahnt!” Dr. Somers protested and, in a panic, she whirled around and tried to make a break for it. For a moment, she freed herself from Elliot’s hold and was able to put some distance between them. But, she didn’t get too far before she tripped over herself and tumbled to the floor. Mirage was able to catch up to her and made sure she didn’t hit the ground too hard. Then, after pinning her arms down underneath his legs, he resumed tickling her armpits. This time, he gently drilled his fingers into the center of her left armpit, while scritching circles around the outside of her right armpit. Mary sputtered before she fell back into her giggling fit. “Ah! Nohahahahahahahahahah Gohohohnahahahe nohohohoh dahahahae thahahahat! (Please don’t do that!)”

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” The trickster chuckled and suddenly squeezed her sides again. He snickered when she arched her back and squealed. “Can you say that again in laman--lemons---no, what’s the saying again?”

“LAaahahahahahahaymaahahan’s teheheheheheherms!” 

“Bingo, layman’s terms.” Mirage nodded and stroked along the scientist’s sides, easily keeping up with her when she twisted her torso around. Horizon’s laughter had a warm, musical quality to it, and it made the trickster smile. After a few more seconds of gentle stroking, the trickster dug his fingers into her sides, laughing along with her when she snorted.

“I-I saahahahahahahahahaid dohohohohohn’t tihihihihicahahahaah mehehehehehe!” Mary shook her head, unable to get a clear word out as Elliot kneaded her sides at a fast pace. “Eehehehehehehehliot plehheheHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Please what? I still can’t understand you!” Mirage grinned and went back to stroking her sides. “Say it again.”

Mary’s giggles calmed down to the point where she could speak. But, before she could, Elliot swiped his fingers over her stomach. She bucked her hips and coughed out a laugh, her squirming becoming more frantic. The trickster noticed and, smirking, he wiggled his fingers into the sides of her stomach. 

“NAHAHAHAHA EHEHEHEHEHEHLIOT!”

“Doctoooor~.” Mirage answered in a sing-song voice, finding himself laughing along with her. He put his fingers together to make a claw-like shape with his hands, scratching up and down her abdomen. “I didn’t know you were so ticklish,” He teased, playfully jabbing her side before returning to her stomach. “That’s quite the discovery!” 

“PLEHEHEAHASE STAHAHAHAH!” Horizon’s face lit up bright red at the trickster’s teasing and she desperately tried to pull her arms free. Although her stomach was only her second worst spot, the ticklish sensations were still maddening. “I CAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“But I’ve gotta cheer you up! And this is working a treat.” Mirage declared happily, moving one of his hands up to poke at her ribs. After some test pokes, he settled on her uppermost ribs, wriggling his fingers in circular motions. He kept his other hand on her stomach and raked his nails just above her navel. 

“I’M CHEHEHEHEHERED UHUHUHP! I-I’m nohohohoht lyhyhyhyhing tohohohoho yohohohu…” Dr. Somers’ laughter calmed down to giggles when Elliot switched back to her armpits. The trickster tapped his nails against her armpits, occasionally squeezing the spot right where they ended. 

“Hmm...I just don’t know,” Mirage mused, zigzagging his nails back into her hollows. Mary yelped, her nose scrunching up from how hard she was giggling. “Whaddaya think, buddy?”

N.E.W.T. had floated over to the duo and trained his optic on them. The little robot beeped and, when Horizon heard it, she looked up with a start. 

“Newtie! Neehehehehwtie hehehehehlp me!” The scientist yelled, squeaking when Mirage dipped his hands down and drilled his fingers into her hips. Horizon cried out again and arched her back, momentarily losing herself in giggles before she was able to speak again. “Ihihihihihi nehehehehehd yohohohur HEHEHEHEHLP!”

Mirage started to prod her stomach again, poking at a pace fast enough to send her back into a fit of panicked laughter. “I’m just trying to raise her spirits,” He explained, continuing the tickling as the robot floated up to his side. “See? She’s laughing!”

Horizon cackled out a protest and N.E.W.T settled on top of her legs, beeping cheerfully. The little robot wasn’t entirely sure what was making her laugh so hard, but he was happy to see her smiling. In fact, N.E.W.T. got so excited that he activated his black hole ability, swiping her shoes. Sometimes, N.E.W.T. was rather playful, where he liked to take her things and float away. Pens, books, mugs, and today, shoes. The astrophysicist’s head shot up while she was laughing, a feeling of dread settling on her shoulders. “GIHIHIHIHVE THOHOHOHOSE BAHAHACK NEEHEHWTIHIHE!”

The trickster glanced up at the robot and halted the tickling. “Oh, you wanna help, Newt?” He grinned, noticing the shoes that N.E.W.T. was levitating in the air. Horizon breathed heavily and paled when Elliot glanced back at her feet. “Wait! Elliot, plehehease..” She pleaded, squeaking loudly when Mirage reached behind him and stroked one finger down her sole. “Dohohohn’t tickle my feeheheheht! Plehehehehase!”

“But I have to! Newt here wants to make sure you’re cheered up too.” Mirage chirped, quickly turning around so that he could face her feet, but keep her arms pinned. With N.E.W.T. sitting on top of her legs and the trickster holding down her arms, it was even more difficult for her to struggle. So, when Elliot dragged one nail down Horizon’s sole again, again, again, and again, the scientist immediately dissolved into uncontrollable laughter.

“AHAHAHA STAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Horizon screamed and kicked her feet at Elliot’s hands, prompting the trickster to hold onto her ankles to keep them still. He fluttered all of his nails against the center of her sole, smiling at the heavy laughter it produced. 

“Nope! No-can do, there are tickles a-foot.” Mirage snickered, his fingers dancing over her arches before settling back onto her soles. N.E.W.T. beeped and cuddled against the scientist’s legs. 

“NAHAHAHAHAAHAH NOHOHOHOH I CAAHAHAHN’T TAHAHAKE IHIHIHT!” The astrophysicist laughed and desperately arched her back, but she wasn’t going anywhere. N.E.W.T. wasn’t uncomfortably heavy, but he weighed just enough to help keep her in place. “PLEHEHEHEASE!”

Mirage noticed that Dr. Somers laughed harder the higher up he tickled, so he wiggled his fingers until he got underneath her toes. She screamed again, her laughter momentarily going silent before picking up again. “Oho, this spot seems toe-tally ticklish. Haha, get it?” Mirage laughed and raked his nails against the stems of her toes. Horizon’s face only grew redder as her legs jolted, threatening to throw N.E.W.T. off of her. 

“EHEHEHEHELIOT NOHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAH!”

The laughter poured out of Horizon like honey as she tried to curl her toes. The trickster held her toes back with one hand so that he could easily tickle between them, prompting another cry of laughter. 

“Coochie coochie coo~.” Mirage teased, tickling between her toes some more before raking his nails along the length of her foot. Horizon arched her back again, shaking her head wildly as she laughed and laughed. While he tickled her foot, something fluttered in the distance, barely catching his eye. He looked up towards the scientist’s desk and, in a little container at the corner, were a collection of pens. One of the pens had a fluffy tuft of pink feathers at the top of it. The trickster halted the tickling and turned to nudge N.E.W.T. 

“Newt, buddy! Can you go over there and get that for me?” Elliot motioned to the fluffy pen while the astrophysicist greedily breathed in air. Both N.E.W.T. and Horizon followed his gaze over to the pen and, when the bot went to retrieve it, the weight was lifted off of the scientist’s legs. She attempted to pull her ankles free from his ironhold, but he held strong. 

“Dehehehar, hahahve mehehehrcy on mehehehe…!” Horizon started giggling again as Mirage poked at her feet at random intervals. By then, N.E.W.T. returned with the fluffy pen and dropped it onto the trickster’s lap. He picked up the pen and glanced back at her; although she was breathless, she looked much happier compared to when he first saw her. And, on top of that, he was having a blast! He didn’t want to tickle her too much, but he wasn’t ready to stop just yet. So, after a couple more pokes and some idle twiddling of the feathered pen, he started to gently tap her feet with it. 

“Not yet, Dr. Somers. I think you’re almost cheered up~.” Mirage smiled, slowly stroking her heels with the feathers. Horizon flinched and snickered, tugging at her legs with a renewed vigor. 

“Noheheheheheheheheh f-feheeHEHEHEHAHAHTHEHEHERS!” The scientist protested, momentarily pulling her ankles from his grasp and covering one foot with the other. Elliot pulled her ankles back under his arm and flicked the feathers up her soles instead, drawing out squeals and cackles. 

“No?” Mirage chuckled and wiggled his fingers on her left sole, stroking the feathers along her right sole. Horizon yelled and fell back into heavy laughter, crossing her feet repeatedly, although it didn’t block the tickles. “Is this better?”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOH IT’S NAHAHAHAHAT!” Horizon yelled, squealing and laughing harder when focused the tickling on her left foot. The trickster noticed that her left foot seemed more ticklish than her right foot, and when he rubbed the feathers against her left toes, she arched her back and dipped into silent laughter. 

“What about this, Dr. Somers? Is this better?” Mirage smirked and wiggled the feathers between her toes. She squeaked and fell back into silent laughter. He eased up on the tickling by stroking the feathers down her soles and arches, which still made her laugh, but not quite as hard. 

“EEEHEHEHAHAHALIOT DEAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHA!” Horizon shut her eyes tight and panicked when she felt the feathers trailing back up to her toes. “IHIHIHIHIHIHT REHEHAHAHAHALLY TIHIHHI-AHAHAHAHA!”

Mirage suddenly put the feathered pen down and used his nails to tickle all over Horizon’s feet. The scientist bucked her legs and shrieked with laughter; but, when the trickster buried his fingers back underneath her toes, her laughter went silent again. He looked back at her to see the tears streaming down her face and finally stopped the tickling, releasing her legs. Horizon gasped for air and hid her red face in her hands. 

“Oh my stahahars…” She giggled a little bit and looked up when N.E.W.T. returned to her side. The bot carefully put her shoes back down and tentatively beeped, which only made her chuckle. 

“Dinnae fash yersel, Newtie. I’m not upset with you. But, aye, I could use my shoes.” Horizon smiled, her smile widening when the bot floated into her arms to cuddle. She then looked up to see Mirage offering his hand to her and, keeping one arm wrapped around her dear companion, she stood up with his help. 

“So, how’d I do?” Mirage looked up at her and gave her a small smile. “Do you feel better?”

“Maybe a bit winded, but aye, I feel much better, dear. Thank you.” Horizon smiled brightly, and it made the trickster’s heart swell with pride. 

“You’re very welcome! Now, since it’s getting late, how about I get us some pizza? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Elliot chuckled. Horizon’s eyes widened; she had completely forgotten that she promised him tea and scones!

“I suppose it is getting late…” She responded, glancing over at a digital clock she kept on her desk. “How about I still make you that tea while you get the pizza? It’s the least I can do.”

“Deal!” Mirage took out his phone so he could call the pizza order in. While he did that, Horizon put her shoes back on and left for the kitchen, her companion following close behind. He pocketed his phone once the order was placed and looked towards the picture of the scientist and her son. Although he succeeded in cheering Horizon up, there was one more surprise that he had up his sleeve. After all, every kid deserves a present on their birthday. 

It didn’t take long for Mirage to get the pizzas; they were ready by the time he arrived to pick them up. But, that’s not all he went to get. On his way to get the food, he bought the biggest, most colorful birthday card that he could find and an assortment of colorful pens. He even managed to find some balloons but needed to tie them to his wrist so they didn’t blow away. Then, he returned back to the ship so that all of the Legends could sign it. Although he didn’t give all of the details about Horizon and her son, most of the Legends were happy to oblige. But, when the trickster went to Rampart, she wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. 

“Aww~. I didn’t know you were such a softie, Witt!” The modder teased, reaching up to pinch his cheeks. Mirage groaned and pushed her hand away; it took all of his will power for him not to blush. 

“I’m not! It’s just---it’s for---I--it’s for Horizon’s son, Rampart.” Mirage stammered, sighing as he adjusted the pizza boxes in his hand. “And it’s supposed to be a surprise…”

“Oh, give it here! I was just teasin’ you.” Rampart snickered and made a gimmie motion with her hands so that the trickster would hand over the birthday card. She chose the bright orange pen to sign it with, her grin softening as she handed it back to Elliot. “It’s a really nice thing you’re doing for her, mate. I’m sure she’ll love it.” 

“Of course she will!” Elliot was quick to respond as if Ramya said the most obvious thing in the world. But then, he faltered and gave her a genuine smile of his own. “But, thanks Rampart.” 

Rampart smiled and waved him off as he left, returning to Sheila and picking up her wrench. Mirage could tell the pizzas were getting cold, so he hurried to his party ship for the last part of his surprise. 

~

While Mirage was gone, Horizon boiled water for tea at the stove. She played ping-pong with N.E.W.T. while waiting for the water to get hot. The astrophysicist giggled as the bot darted across the room to volley the ball back to her. Once the kettle whistled, she paused their game and set two mugs down on the countertop. “He’s been gone a while, hasn’t he, Newtie?” She mused as she poured the hot water into each mug. N.E.W.T. beeped softly and flicked his light once. “I wonder where he went?”

Horizon set a tea bag in each of the mugs, her gaze suddenly trained onto her lab. “Did I leave a light on?” She stepped away from the counter and saw a bright light engulfing her laboratory. She looked at her companion before the two of them went back into the lab. When she got there, she heard faint music sounding outside of her observatory. She furrowed her brows and pressed another button on the wall so that the roof opened. Her eyes widened when she saw Mirage’s party ship hovering above.

“Dr. Somers!” Mirage’s used the ship’s megaphone to call down to the scientist, grinning. “I thought we’d celebrate Newton’s birthday in style!”

Mirage hit the party button on his ship to launch the fireworks. Instead of his huge decoys dancing around the ship, the fireworks were green, blue, orange, and white, with the words Happy Birthday, Newton stretching out over the dark sky above.  Horizon stood dumbfounded, the words getting caught in her throat. Her stunned silence gave way to a huge smile that even Elliot could see. 

“Well don’t just stand there,” He chuckled, sending a zipline down to her. “Come on up!”

Horizon put N.E.W.T. on her back and zipped up to the party ship. She put N.E.W.T. back down once she got up there and looked around, the red balloons catching her eye. Then, Mirage hopped down from the platform and waved to the smiling scientist. 

“Elliot, ya beauty, this is wonderful! I-I’m speechless. You didn’t have to do all of this for us...” Horizon finally found the words she needed as the trickster strolled up to her. 

“But it’s Newton’s birthday! And I know how much you wanted to celebrate with him, so think of this as celebrating early. Ya know, for when you see him again.” Mirage happily insisted, handing her the huge birthday card. “Here, this is from all of the Legends. I may have, um, scribbled Revenant’s name in there. But let’s keep that a secret.”

Dr. Somers blinked and took the card from him. She opened it and looked at the colorful signatures and messages from her fellow Legends. Her eyes welling up with tears again. “Elliot…”

“Wait, hold on. I forgot one more thing.” Mirage took off the medal he got from his recent game and handed it to her. But, Horizon didn’t take it. 

“Oh no, dear. I couldn’t. I know how precious your medals are to you.” Horizon looked at him hesitantly and held the birthday card to her chest. Mirage took a step forward and carefully draped it around her neck anyway. 

“Yeah, but there’s someone else out there who it’ll mean even more to. I mean, hey, his mom is a Legend. I’m sure he’ll be one too.” Mirage smiled, gasping when the astrophysicist pulled him in for a tight hug. 

“This means the world to me, Elliot. Thank you…” Horizon whispered, putting her head back onto his shoulder. Mirage slowly returned the hug and beamed. The trickster never shied away from the spotlight and loved it when all eyes were on him. But, nothing felt as good as making someone else’s world a little bit brighter.

[vandoornestoffel]

Hey has anyone asked you yet about the time you got to meet the Mclaren team? If not, I'd love to know about it more!!

oH WOW.

I wasn’t expecting this.

Well, I’m watching a 24hrs race with 11 hours to go, I might as well take the time to write this down. Sit down and get ready to read a lot of text. Seriously it’s a lot of text. I’m sorry but this story took part in about 4 or 5 hours so a lot happened. 

So the story has a little bit of background. I’m kinda vocal in Twitter. Not as much as the Papaya McLaren+ members, but somewhat vocal, specially around McLaren. The every weekend wishing the best for my babies, and such. Also, in 2017, I got to meet Stoffel and Fernando at the pitlane walk thing in the Mexican GP. Even appeared in Fernando’s Instagram Stories AND on the worldwide feed because I was the only Mexican with a Belgian flag cheering for Stoffel. So after that I told the team I was going to be back the following year and I did. For extra context, I had literally 48 hours earlier, broken up with my boyfriend at the time (fuck that guy), so I was really really sad. 

So the morning of Thursday before the 2018 Mexican GP, I jump into a plane and take the trip to Mexico City for the GP. I didn’t had a pitlane walk ticket but I was planning on going to the race track and buy one (illegally) outside. So I land, or well, the plane lands, and when I turn my phone on again I find a really surprising message. From McLaren’s official Twitter, I got a DM asking me if I had plans on going to the racetrack that day. For context, I had told the team I was excited to see them on action that weekend. So I said that I still hadn’t a pitlane ticket but that I was looking to buy one. I went to my hotel and then to have breakfast and while I was having a meal, I get a second text asking me if I could meet them up in a door of the racetrack, that they had a gift for me and give me a WhatsApp number to stay in touch. WhatsApp number is British, I don’t know how to save it up because my phone kept putting the Mexican first few numbers as I tried to send message to them, it was an stressful mess but when it finally worked, I was already outside of the racetrack. I met a guy, Danny, and when we meet he gives me a paddock pass. I’m freaking out. On the walk past security and all of that, we are chatting. He’s such a nice guy. I still have his phone number but I don’t dare to text him again. He explains I do have to give the pass back at the end of the day and teaches me to use it and then says Go and see the full paddock, let’s meet up here in 20 minutes. So I have plenty of videos seeing everything. Saw Mauricio Arrivabene, KMag, Romain, Charles, Russell, Gio, and a lot of drivers up close, but they were busy with interviews and I didn’t wanted to disturb them. 20 minutes are up and I meet up with Danny and two other men who I can’t remember their names. That’s when we are talked into the McLaren pit. They explained a lot to us, and the cars were being worked on so we could see the engines up close and many other amazing little details. We walk out again and that’s when we are told. They are also giving us a Pirelli Hot Lap. I cried. No joke. We were walked over the Pirelli Hot Laps place and got to see the cars up close, tried a helmet, met my driver (Josh Cook) and I was eating my brain off. Eventually it’s time to go. We walk the main straight to where the cars were waiting for us, and met Charlotte and Helen (PR girls of McLaren at the time), I got the second to last lap in a McLaren 570s, so as the cars came and went I got more and more anxious. They did delivered me a copy of the video that was filmed but I don’t appear in the Mexican clip they published in their YouTube Channel. And I never published it myself. But if you have seen the “Oh, you drivin’ drivin’” it’s pretty much the same. Going side to side. At times yelling but mostly silence of “holy shit this is happening”. When I got off the car I was shaking. Huge smile in my face. Asked for a pic with Charlotte and Helen, and now I wish I had asked pictures with Danny and Josh as they were super special for me that day. 

So this is where things get weird. Have you ever dreamt of something so much that you have a headcanon on how it’s going to be if something happens?? Well, I had a headcanon that I met Stoffel Vandoorne and in my headcanon I turned around to face his adorable smile. First time, that didn’t happen. This time around, we got invited to McLaren’s hospitality, got a free coke, Fernando was there but he didn’t wanted to even wave. He was in a chat with Buemi in the corner of the hospitality and Charlotte and Helen didn’t even made eye contact with him, it was clear to me that he has like “do not disturb” moments. So I was driving my coke and I hear one of the guys say “Oh the girl is going to freak out so much” and well, I was the girl, and I was wearing my 2018 team shirt with Stoffel’s name. So I was chilling and suddenly I hear a “Hi!” and I know that voice. I’ve heard that voice a million times in interviews. I leave my coke in the table and stand up to turn around and see him. Stoffel Vandoorne. I turn around again and sit down because this is not happening. This is a dream. I probably passed out and I’m dreaming. Charlotte asks “Are you ok?” and I know she’s talking about me. I turn again to face Stoffel and tears are in my eyes. It’s really him. And he has that stupid smile in his face. I can barely say “Hi” and my voice cracks but I’m trying my best to not cry. I raise my arm to shake his hand as Stoffel says “Don’t you want a hug?”, I crack again and just approach to hug him. IT IS THE BEST HUG IN MY LIFE. I can’t tell you what he’s smelled like because my definition is just clean. I didn’t smelled a cologne or sweat, I just smelt clean clothes and a clean man. We got a few pictures taken. On the first Lando is in the background, all funny, and we invite them to our picture. He stood on the side of the group and one of the other guys says “Why don’t you stand in the side of the girl, so she can have a McSandwich”. Best McSandwich ever. Stoffel had to leave (to track walk, I believe) and Lando stayed chatting with us for a while. When he finally left, we were invited for one last walk around the paddock. Even got into the stadium area of the circuit. And then it was time to leave. On the walk back to the main door where it all started I asked Danny why me? Why had they invited me? He said that he had noticed my tweets beforehand but the fact that I had tweeted to Lando saying I was excited to see him in FP1, and he retweeted me, was the reason why I got the invite. So, my dream way of meeting Stoffel Vandoorne became a reality thanks to Lando Norris and his really cute way of being with his fans. 

As soon as I gave the pass away, I started to run. I was on the opposite side of the circuit than the pitlane walk door. So I ran, bought a ticket, ran some more, and pushed myself to the front of the crowd to meet Stoffel again. Yeah, I’m that crazy. So Charlotte sees me and says “Hey, look who it is Stoffel!” and Stoffel sees me and he’s like HI AGAIN! so HE FUCKING RECOGNIZED ME. So I chat with Charlotte a bit and say that I forgot to ask for an autograph so as Stoffel is signing one, and hands it to me, she says, “give her more”, so Stoff signed 2 more and handed them over. I told him I was going to miss him in F1 but that he had my support wherever he went, and he said thanks and carried on with his duty before leaving. I stayed there, as people left when they realised there were no drivers to sign cards, until I was told I had to leave. Prior to this, I met Lee Mathurin (a McLaren mechanic who I just discovered he has deleted his Twitter account, and I’m scared) and asked for a picture with him and other mechanics (he chicked out in coming to meet me along so he asked some friends to tag along) and as I try to snap the picture he grabs my phone and walks to the pits. He snapped a few good pictures of Stoffel’s car and the people around and came back to me to take a selfie of us. So after that, I got asked to leave by security and I rode an Uber back to my hotel room. As soon as I walked in and my mom asked “How it went?” I started crying my eyes out. That was waaay beyond what I had ever dreamt about. I was coming there still crying about my ex (I literally cried about him on the plane) and I started crying about how lucky and happy I was 12 hours later. McLaren, unknowing to them, made my life experience something I could never afford, in a moment when I most needed it. I couldn’t attend to the 2019 race and I’m not going to the 2020 race either, but I couldn’t ask for a better and happier day in my life. I truly owe that day forever to that team.

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

Part 3

<<Prev | Next>>

"So how was that show you went to last night?" Javier asked as he preened in front of the mirror. 

"Oh my god, it was so, so good," Angel replied as he peeled off his shirt and folded it. "Totally worth taking off a Saturday for. I actually got to talk to the lead singer for one of the bands and he was so gorgeous." 

"Yeah? Tell me you got pictures." 

"I got a couple when they were playing, here, come look." He motioned Javier over and retrieved his phone from his locker. 

Opening up his photo gallery, he'd already pushed the photos from the show down under a wall of selfies, most of the same angle and expression, with only the most minute of differences. 

"Girl," Javier said, clicking his tongue as he looked over Angel's shoulder, "you are so conceited." 

"Shut up, I am not. This is advertising." 

"Sure it is, Miss 'I'm a thousand followers away from ten K.' I saw your post begging for brand deals. Hey, if you get those flat tummy teas to sponsor you, you can do a post about how they flush out your system so you can take a ton of dick." 

"Oh my godddd," Angel laughed. "You are such a bitch! Do you want to see these pics or not?" 

"Yaaaas, show me!" 

"Here," Angel tapped a photo and it expanded to fill the screen. It was probably the best picture he'd gotten at the show, one of Demie as he'd growled into the mic, his long hair cascading on either side of his face, which was half cast in shadow by the stage lights. Angel was especially fond of the way the shadows highlighted Demie's long, gaunt face, and the way the fake horns curled up around his ears. 

"...Girl," Javier said. His tone didn't sound like he was impressed. More like he was being judgemental. 

"What?"

"That is like, one of the ugliest dudes I've ever seen." 

"What? No he isn't, he's hot A.F." 

"Giiiirl, you can't be serious. Look at that ratty-ass beard! Oh my god, could you imagine trying to kiss someone with one of those?" 

"Oh whatever, you think bald old men are hot." 

"Nooo, I think Daddies are hot, not every old guy is a Daddy." 

"Ugh, gross." 

"You won't think it's so gross when I'm married to a hot rich old guy who dies and leaves me his mansion," Javier said, giving Angel a little shove and heading back over to the mirror. 

"That's right, I forgot your idea of romance is murder," Angel shot back. Javier shot him a look, pursing his lips, and gave Angel the finger before heading out of the locker room. 

Angel laughed to himself. He took another look at the picture of Demie. He'd taken surprisingly few photos of the show - something about the music had just taken such a strong grip on him that he'd forgotten to document the experience. In a way, it had felt too intimate to post on Instagram with a long-winded caption about how much he loved music or whatever. 

Plus, he preferred to tag artists in his posts, and despite doing a lot of digging, he hadn't been able to find any social media presence for Bacchus at all. No Instagram, no Twitter, no Spotify, not even a Bandcamp page. He'd even scrolled back through nearly a hundred of Marius' Instagram posts, looking for a picture of Demie or Elaine, but both were notably absent. 

That tracked, he guessed, considering Demie had said he didn't have a phone, but he could've sworn he saw Elaine on one. Surely she posted something about them, at least to let fans know if they had a show coming up. But all he'd been able to find was a post on a heavy metal Subreddit with a low-quality recording of the band, asking if it was true that Marius used to play for them. There were only two replies - one reporting that Marius had said in an interview that he used to play bass for an indie band, and another saying that Marius' music sucked. 

Angel sighed, thinking that he should've gotten a selfie with the band, to memorialize the show for himself if no one else. With that thought, he put his phone back in his locker and stripped down, changing into a g-string and heading out onto stage. 

He liked his job, for the most part. He enjoyed the freedom of being openly, luridly sexual in front of others. He enjoyed feeling like he had a power over the men who came into the club. It was a power he didn't really get elsewhere. Sure, he was tall and muscular for an Asian man, but in comparison to the average American, he was still short, and in the local gay scene he was expected to be a submissive little bottom. 

Not that there was anything wrong with being a bottom. He definitely was one. But he didn't appreciate the way he was expected to be a doormat for tops. 

When he was dancing, though, he held the power. And he loved that feeling. 

He didn't love when drunk guys tried to get handsy, though. And he didn't love having to pay to work the club, nor did he enjoy how unreliable the pay was. Some nights he could pull upwards of $600, others he struggled to get $100. Taking a Saturday off for the sake of a concert was an especially unwise move, since weekend nights were the best financially. 

He didn't really regret it, though. He was glad he'd gone to the show and had the opportunity to meet Demie. The singer occupied his mind the entire day, so much so that, after the club closed for the night and he got home, he pulled out his phone and dialed Demie's number, already saved to his contacts. 

The phone rang four times, and he was ready - albeit let down - to accept that Demie had given him a fake number when a female voice finally answered. 

"Hello?" She asked groggily. 

"Um… is Demie there?" He asked. 

"Who the fuck…" He could hear her say, though it sounded like she'd held the phone away from her. Her voice came back louder and asked, "Can I ask who's calling?" 

"This is Angel, Demie gave me this number after the show last night?" 

"Jesus fucking…" Her voice got muffled, but he could make out that she was shouting Demie's name. 

After shouting Demie's name twice, Angel could just barely make out Demie's voice shouting something back. 

"Phone! It's that guy from the show," Elaine shouted. There was some weird feedback, like she was rubbing the mouthpiece of the phone on her shirt, and then a clatter as the phone was handed over. 

"Hello?" Demie asked. 

"Hi, this is Angel. We met the other night." 

"Dude, it's like four in the morning." 

"Oh! Oh shit, you're right. Sorry, I work nights. I can call back later…" 

"Nah, it's cool, I was already up." 

Angel could hear Elaine shout something that sounded like 'I fucking wasn't.' Demie grumbled something and a few seconds later there was the sound of a door slamming shut. 

"What's up?" Demie asked. He made an 'oof' sound, like he was flopping down on a bed or chair. 

"What's your band's Instagram handle?" 

"Oh. We don't do that shit." 

"Seriously? What about Spotify? Or Bandcamp?" 

"What are those?" 

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Never heard of them." 

"Where do you sell your music, then?" 

"Uh… I've got some cassette tapes that we used to sell at shows. They're old stuff though, back when Mar was still in the band. Why, do you wanna buy one?" 

"Holy shit," Angel said with a laugh, tossing himself down on his futon. "What fucking decade did you walk out of?" 

"What? Tapes are cool. I don't know why anyone would want some e-file digital copy on their iPod or whatever when they could have a physical copy." 

"God, you sound like a hipster."

"I don't really know what that means but I'll take it as a compliment." 

There was a brief lapse in the conversation. Angel wasn't sure what to say. The more he found out about Demie, the more quaint he seemed. It was oddly endearing, knowing that there was no way Demie would've seen his Instagram. He never would've seen the airbrushed photos or the flirty stories or the pics of beautifully crafted breakfasts that he never actually ate because he had to maintain his abs for the sake of his job. 

In a world where everyone had to put their best self on display at all times for a digital audience, Demie had no expectations. He didn't see Angel-the-wannabe-micro-influencer. There was something beautifully vulnerable in that. 

"So what are you doing up at 4am?" Angel eventually asked. 

"Eh… I was writing some music. Haven't really done much since Mar moved out, but I dunno… I just kinda got this flash of inspiration. Just gotta see where it takes me, y'know?" 

"No, I get it. Back when I was in school, I just couldn't write essays during the day, somehow the words only came to me when I'd been up past midnight." 

"Hm. Yeah." 

"Can I ask what the song's about, or is it like… trade secret stuff?" 

"Yeah, no, it's cool. You ever heard of Orpheus?" 

"Oh, yeah. A friend of mine is in love with that one musical, what's it called? Hadestown?"

"Oh shit, they made a musical out of that? I thought it was just an album." 

"See, I didn't know it was an album first." 

"That's cool. So this song's more about the original myth…"

[drews-diary]

My new laptop got delivered yesterday. So, in order to get myself used to the new keyboard that is much wider than the one I was using I have decided to tell a very detailed story on here about a few very small events. 

This is going to be a recollection of my past encounters with 5sos. And I do not recommend that anybody reads it because it is going to be incredibly detailed so that I am able to look back on those days. 

The first time I ever met 5sos was back in 2017 when they played at the Pentaport Rock Festival that was held in Songdo. They played a 50 minute set that started at six on the last day of the festival which was August 13th and it was a Sunday. 5sos landed in Korea on Friday though, and I went to see them at the airport. 

I was really really so fucking nervous to see them for the first time and I wasn’t even completely sure if I had the right flight info so things were kinda crazy. I remember that day bcuz my friends and I went to the movie theater to watch the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast and we also took pictures in the mall’s photo booth that day. We were originally going to have dinner together too but I saw that luke had posted a story of him in what looked like an airplane so i apologized to my friends and I headed home so that I could make my way to the airport. I used the LAX and Incheon airport website to figure out what flight they were on and then started to get ready.I hadn’t written my letters in advance even though I had already bought their gifts so I wrote down a few lines for each member with shaking hands. I also wrote a longer letter that was addressed to the band as a whole where I wrote down a bunch of things that I really liked to do in Seoul should they get the chance. I don’t remember the specifics of what I wrote though, I wish I took pictures of what I said to them. I remember the flight was supposed to arrive around 9:40 pm that night so I left my house at around 7:30 pm. That was probably one of my first times ever skipping a meal because I did not have dinner that day. For their gifts I got Luke a set of temporary tattoos bc he didnt have any at the time and I thought it would be funny. I got Michael a mask that said 접근금지 which is basically do not approach bc I knew he was antisocial like me and maybe he could make use of it. I got Ashton a bandanna, which I knew he hadn’t worn since 2014 but in the summer of 2017 bandannas were a really big fad in South Korean fashion and I thought it was a really funny coincidence. And finally for Calum I got matching towels for him and Duke. I remember when they stepped out into the airport I couldn’t breathe. Like, I was quite literally shaking and I couldn’t even scream. I love all four of them but I knew who’s lane I was in so I made a beeline for Calum. I tried to wait patiently but honestly I was about to start hyperventilating and people were pushing me so I just made my way up to him and asked him to sign my iPod touch which was what I carried around with me at the time because I wasnt allowed to have a smartphone until I graduated high school. Honestly I wasn’t even able to say anything because I was so nervous I just handed him the iPod and the pen and he knew what to do. Either way he signed it for me and my hands were shaking the entire time I couldn’t believe it. It is still one of my most prized posessions. I handed him my gifts that I had put into this blue ryan (the lion) shopping bag and went “this is for you” honestly i was shaking so hard and looking back I am impressed that I was even able to get out those words. He looked at the gifts and then back at me and went 

“For me? Aww, thank you”

let me tell you I nearly fucking died. He said aww to me. CALUM HOOD. SAID AWW. TO ME. fuck. And then I forgot how to talk and somebody else butted in and pushed me out of the way so I didnt get to ask him for a picture. Once I regained my senses I somehow made my way back and got a selfie with him. I later put that photo into my portion of my school’s yearbook when I graduated so that everybody in our school was forced to have a copy. While we were taking the photo my right should slightly touched him and let me tell you that felt really weird. Not to be pervy, it was just something that happened. But then they had to leave and I followed them out to their van and waved until the van was out of sight. I took the subway home that day just like how I got to the airport. I was shaking during both rides out of either anticipation or disbelieve, the difference is that on the way home I cried a little bit. 

Two days later was the day of the festival. I am going to try to keep the other details shorter but I left really earlier. I was alone that day bc I decided I would rather not show others what I looked like during their performance. I left my house and I got to the festival grounds around nine, they started letting people in at ten. I immediately ran to the main stage where they would be performing later and six so that I could wait while holding onto the fence (of course I positioned myself so that I was right in front of where Calum would be standing). We had to wait in line again because we weren’t allowed in until twelve. That day I was wearing my waste the night shirt which is still one of my favorite pieces of merch with a pair of pink shorts. I starved the entire day that day and I also made sure not to drink anything so that I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. I instead took 에이스 which is a type of really high calorie cracker so that I wouldn’t pass out. I also took 박카스 (a small version of energy drink) so that I could take one right before the performance to enjoy the show to the full extent. Around one o’clock bands started to play and I cheered them on with the rest of the crowd because honestly they weren’t bad and I do enjoy music festivals as a whole. But I made sure not to jump around to save up my energy. After a few bands had played, I would say around 3ish maybe the staff were getting the stage ready for the next performers and I was sitting with my back against the fence when somebody tapped my shoulder. 

When I turned around there was this lady and her friend who looked to be in their early twenties (I was seventeen at the time) and she asked me if I liked 5sos, I bet she could tell from my shirt. I told her I loved them and she said she thinks that some guy who was watching the stage from afar was Ashton, as in the drummer and that I should go and say hi. Honestly, this is one of the things that I regret most in my life, I was so surprised I forgot to thank her. I just said “really?” and then grabbed my selfie stick with my ipod attached and I ran off. Thinking back that was so rude of me this woman literally went out of her way to help me and I just ran on her. Ugh, I still think about this sometimes.

Anyways so there I was running and he was looking at the crowd waiting in front of the stage. I would say he was at about a 4? 5ish o’clock angle from the stage. When I approached him I saw that it really was Ashton and he had a body guard next to him, it wasn’t dave. The guard seemed to get wary as I approached but Ashton stepped up first and said hello to me. I am literally about to cry just remembering. I was so fucking nervous. He was wearing the white and black checkered shirt he wore on stage that day. He didn’t have his sunglasses on. Back to what happened, shit i’m shaking rn just remembering fuck. He smiled and said hello to me in a really friendly, approachable way. I was timid as fuck and so nervous so I whispered hi back. He laughed and said hi again and myself being the dumbass I am I said hi again too. This back and forth exchange of hi’s happened about four or five times, each time with ashton smiling bigger than the last and me getting closer and closer to tears just because I was so overwhelmed. Finally he busted out laughing and said “you are so adorable”

ashton. ashton irwin. ashton called me adorable. fuck. I think it was around this point that I forgot how to breathe. I spat out how much I love the band and their music. I was totally blubbering and making a mess out of myself. I was approaching tears at that moment but they hadn’t fallen yet and it was at this point that as he was thanking me and called me adorable a second time (!!) (he said something like “you are too adorable” ohmyfuckinggod), ashton went in for a hug. Whether it would have been a side hug or a full hug I will never know because I was too nervous and overwhelmed to notice. I only realized that he was going to hug me after we had parted ways. I still kick myself to this day. I should have let him hug me fuck. either way he opened up his right arm for me to step in but I didn’t move BECAUSE I DIDNT NOTICE. COME ON BITCH UGH FUCK. either way he just smiled, laughed and thanked me. I honestly wasn’t in my right mind. I told him that I went to see them at the airport but I knew he wouldn’t remember me so I just kept talking. The next thing I said to him was so fucking... ugh. I literally went “Michael is soo hot. Like, I knew he was hot but when I saw him at the airport I was so surprised because he was so much hotter than I thought he was going to be” fuck.

This is true. Personally I find all four of the boys really attractive but it’s true that people in the fandom even back then would call michael the ugly one. The reason I felt strong enough about this to say to Ashton was because when I went to the airport and saw them all in person for the first time, the other three pretty much looked exactly how I thought they would. They looked the same as when I saw them through the screen. But Michael, honestly he looked so much better in person. I dont know how to say it, but he was just one of those people who the camera never did justice. Everybody else was amazingly hot, just like they are on screen, but Michael honestly looked so much better in person. To be fair, I was shocked, and I felt really bad for him because he gets so much hate online for being “ugly” when that was far from the case.

Back to when I met Ashton. I hadn’t expected this meeting to happen, you know, so I had no idea what to say and the comment about michael being hot literally just flew out of my mouth. I didn’t have time to think okay I was totally put on the spot and I was just, I’m just surprised I didn’t faint. Thankfully, he busted out laughing again, and I got to hear that fucking beautiful laugh. The security guard cracked a smile at that one too. I am honestly still so embarrassed about this ugh what did i do. Either way, Ashton laughed at what I said and then told me he would make sure to tell Michael. It was at this point that I figured I had overstayed my welcome. I hadn’t realized it at first because I was too excited about the opportunity to meet him but I felt like I was taking up too much of his time. He probably just wanted to get a look at the stage and here I was, a crazy fan barely breathing, probably red in the face telling him how much I love him and how hot I thought his band member is. Fuck, it’s still humiliating to this day. At least he probably won’t remember it. So i’m the only one left with the embarrassing memory. And here I am writing it all down so that I never forget. 

I quickly asked him if he could tell Calum that I love him. He didn’t hear me at first and said “huh?” I repeated myself and he said he would. And I know that that was incredibly cringey of me but fuck it I said what I said. It was true and it is still true. Honestly, if I ran into Ashton in the streets tomorrow, I would still ask him to tell Calum that I love him because that is just how true that statement is. I then told him that I would be going. I remember mumbling something like “I don’t want to bother you” At this point I still couldn’t properly breathe. He said something along the lines of “oh no, you’re not bothering me” but I knew better and said “no, it’s okay.” And that’s how the interaction ended. I told him I hoped he had a good time in South Korea and I walked back to the stage where I had placed my bag to save my spot. I looked back a couple of times while I was walking and he waved, which I of course had to wave back to. Once I got to my spot I spent a few minutes trying to breathe. When I looked back to where he was he and the body guard were gone. 

A few things about this interaction. First, something I feel absolutely horrible about is that I never told him that I love him. I know it probably doesn’t matter because he’s Ashton Irwin and I’m just a fan but still. I told him how much I love his band and their music and his bandmates, fuck I even asked him to pass along the message to Calum that I love him yet I didn’t tell him that he is also somebody that I love so, so, so fucking much. I still feel so horrible about this to this day I regret it so much. This is what happens when people who are not good at talking to others are suddenly put into a conversation, they forget everything that they want to say, everything that they mean and that they should say and instead just spit out bullshit like omg ur bandmate is so much better looking in person honestly what the fuck drew. that was honestly unintentionally so rude of me. I FORGOT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM. I FORGOT TO TELL SOMEONE I LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY MY ENTIRE HEART THAT I LOVE HIM!! honestly what is the matter with me.

The second thing i wanted to add in is the fact that I didn’t get a picture. When I ran towards him it was with my selfie stick and iPod in hand, but I made sure to keep it down in case he didn’t want to take pictures because while we were in a public setting this still wasn’t work time for him and I didn’t want to ask him to take a picture with me if he didn’t want to. And while he didn’t directly say no pictures he had to have noticed my selfie stick but he didn’t say anything that implied he was cool with taking pictures right now so I just didn’t ask. I thought it would be a long shot too but I still took it just in case. I told myself as I was walking up to him that unless he brought it up first I wouldn’t ask for a picture so I am completely fine with what happened. I still think I pretty much intruded on his private time so I didn’t want to force him to do anything. 

I still feel really bad that I didn’t get to thank that amazing nice lady who let me know that Ashton was there. Fuck, I looked around for her afterwards and I think I caught a glimpse of her at some point in the crowd but when I got to where she was she was already gone. I wish I could say thank you even now. Honestly, I must have seemed so rude from her point of view. I just was so overwhelmed and I wasn’t thinking properly and I feel so bad to this day. I don’t remember what she was wearing and if I saw her walking along the street I probably couldn’t recognize her but I still am so sorry and sooo thankful. 

The performance that day was the first time I saw 5sos live. Actually, it was the only time so far but I hope that changes soon and I get to see them again when this whole pandemic is over. It was absolutely amazing. I don’t even know how to put it into words. It was just everything I had ever hoped for and more. I took videos the entire time with the limited equipment that I had. I supplied videos that day to 5sos stan twitter update accounts. It was a good time. I think that performance, the 50-minute set was one of the happiest moments of my life. not joking. 

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. But that’s okay. I’m probably going to be the only one to ever read it anyways and the fact that it’s long means that it’s detailed right? It probably just means that I monologued a shit-ton. The purpose of this blog is for it to be my diary anyways so who cares. 

But still, shit this ended up being pretty long. I guess I’ll have to write about my encounters with 5sos that happened in 2018 and 2019 some other time. Probably after finals, which I am procrastinating from studying for right now. 

Also, I wrote the beginning of this sometime in January I think but it is currently June so yeah that sure says a lot about me I guess. Hopefully, I’ll write again soon bc i sure do have a lot of fucking shit to say.

This has been an entry about the two encounters that I had with 5 seconds of summer back in 2017. I know shit’s pretty bad these days and the fandom is basically on fire constantly but I still wanted to write down the good memories that I have. Hopefully I’ll come back soon to write about the times I saw them in 2018 and 2019. I hope I get to see them this year too, but that’s probably not going to happen. I’ll also come back and add details about these incidents when I remember them later on. I want this to be as detailed as possible so that I can come back and read this again and remember everything. I’m not sick, I just have a bad memory. Better come quick to record what happened the other times I met 5sos before I lose the memories. 

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

TRR New Beginning ch.10 - The Godparents

Words: 1607

As Drake and Liam rejoined Olivia and Emma, they all sat around the fireplace. Drake noticed Emma trying to sit away from him, but there was no space to sit other than directly next to him. As she sat down, her leg brushed against his and he felt a spark from the contact. He closed his eyes at the touch and when he reopened them he noticed Olivia staring at them with an amused look on her face. He cleared his throat

“Thank you both for coming over here today. We needed this, all of us.” He said, glancing at Emma.

She nodded in agreement “Yes. This was….so great. And God I am still just so happy for you!!!” she was practically bouncing in excitement.

Liam grinned. “I’m very glad to hear that. And regarding our child, we have something we need to ask of you both.” He took Olivia’s hand. “We were hoping that the two of you will agree to be the Godparents. You are our closest friends and we view you as family. It would mean a lot to us to have you so involved. And I know I would feel better knowing that, if something did happen to us, the two of you would raise our child as your own.”

Emma gasped, and Drake’s mouth fell open

“Are you sure, Liam?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Absolutely.” Liam responded without hesitation. “I know it’s customary for the Godparents to be married to each other, however, we have broken custom many times over already. What’s one more?”

Olivia smirked “Of course, Drake, if you’re not up to it, we can choose someone…well, anyone, other than you.”

Liam elbowed her and she just shrugged innocently. “I’m just saying.”

Drake rolled his eyes. “I would be honored. I can teach them all kinds of things! How to camp, how to fish, how to build fires, how to build houses…” he trailed off thinking of the possibilities.

Everyone looked at Emma, waiting for her response.

“Oh my God, I would love to!!” she squealed. “But what if I don’t stay in Cordonia? What if…I mean, what if it doesn’t work out?”

“You’re not leaving Emma. This is your home. You have friends here. You have family here.” Olivia spoke sharply. “Now, let’s get a picture of you and Drake for the scrapbook”

Emma’s eyebrows shot up. “Olivia, you don’t know that I’m staying. Stop assuming everything”

“I’m not ‘assuming’ anything. Are you saying you want to leave?”

“Well…” Emma stammered. “No, I don’t want to right now, but there’s circumstances that may be out of my control. I might not always be able to stay here.”

“Because of your abusive ex? Don’t tell me you’re going to go back to that, Emma. Should we have discussed that earlier? Because I would think the answer to that is pretty straight forward. Or is this about Drake? You don’t have to live with him either.”

“Olivia” Drake warned

“Oh, shut it, Drake. You’ve seen her. Are you saying that if she tried to leave you wouldn’t try to stop her? For more than one reason?”

“Of course, I would stop her!” Drake fumed.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Emma broke in. “I never said I was definitely leaving. I said someday I might have to. There’s a difference. Geez you guys, I forgot how much you like to argue with each other. I will love to be Godmother. Thank you, I’m thrilled.”

“You don’t have to…” Liam began but Emma held up her hand

“I’m going to. End of discussion. Drake and I are Godparents. It’ll be good. You’re right. Cordonia is my home and I should just look at it like that instead of thinking something could go wrong.” She smiled at the group. “Thank you, really. I’m excited, I’ve never been a Godmother before.”

Emma noticed a nervous look passed between Drake and Liam before she spoke again “So. About that picture. Let’s do it. Make it official.”

Olivia whipped out her phone with a grin to turn the camera on. “OK, you and Drake go stand in front of the fireplace…Drake put your arm around her.”

They stood and took their positions. Olivia smiled mischievously. “Now, Emma, rest your head on Drake’s shoulder and wrap your arms around his waist. This should be a…cozy, intimate picture. You know, for the baby. They’ll want to know their Godparents are close.”

Hesitantly, Emma complied. As she leaned into him she inhaled his scent and started to relax.

After Olivia snapped a few pictures she said “OK, now it’s time to do a selfie with all four of us!”

They all scrunched in together until they heard the click of the camera, then they crowded around her phone to review the pictures. The group picture turned out amazing. The four of them were grinning widely and looked full of excitement about the future. Then the pictures of Emma and Drake came on the screen, and Emma’s breath caught. The two of them were standing so close and as Emma smiled at the camera, Drake was smiling down on her, a look of adoration and pride on his face. She swallowed. That looked like love. She caught Drake’s eye and he smiled softly at her.

"Absolutely perfect!” Olivia exclaimed. These are so adorable. I’ll print them out and give you a copy of them too. I can’t hide these away in a scrapbook!”

The rest of the day went by with the four friends catching up and playing card games. It felt just like old times, and everyone was in good spirits. By the time Liam and Olivia took their leave it was nearly midnight.

“That went well” Drake said as he and Emma started cleaning up.

She smiled “Yeah. I’m really glad to see it worked out between them. Olivia really loves Liam, I’m thrilled that he loves her just as much. And they’re having a baby! What could be better?”

“I can think of something” Drake said quietly. He stopped what he was doing and turned to Emma. She looked at him, questioning him with her eyes.

He took a deep breath “Our baby. It would be better if we had our baby. It would be better if the past year apart had never happened.”

Emma froze, shocked.

“Rose…” He started again “You mentioned leaving. Even if it’s not right now. Did you have plans to? Before Olivia cornered you?”

Her eyes widened. “Not…exactly. But…I don’t know what the future holds. If I have to go, I promise I won’t just disappear again. I’ll call you from wherever I go. I’ll leave a note, I’ll do…. something. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly planned it. I’m hoping it won’t come to that.”

“I don’t want it to come to that.” She added softly.

Drake ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t go back to Randy. Please. Anything but that.” He whispered. “I can’t lose you again and he’ll kill you. I know it”

She shook her head “He won’t.”

“I hope you’re right” Drake responded. “But…if he ever lays a finger on you again, you should know that I’ll kill him with my bare hands.”

Emma stood there, silent, not knowing what to say.

“If he contacts you again…will you tell me? Please?”

“Okay” she breathed

“Why didn’t you confront me for reading through your messages? You’ve been so angry with me, I’m surprised you never said anything.”

Emma bit her lip. “I…I don’t know. You’ve already seen the bruises. You’ve seen the scars. You already knew what was happening, you just didn’t know his name. When I thought about it I realized nothing really changed.”

In a flash Drake had closed the distance between them and wrapped her into a big but gentle hug, being careful not to hurt her. “But it did change. You came back. You’re here. Despite everything I said to you, in spite of my pushing you away, in spite of losing our unborn child and having someone hurt you on a daily basis…you’re here, in my arms. I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever again, Rose.”

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I wasn’t there for you before and I’ll never forgive myself for it. But I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

As he felt her breath against his chest he had one more thing to say for the night. “Promise me one more thing. Promise me you aren’t going anywhere either, no matter what happens.”

Emma shook her head “I can’t promise that, Drake.”

“Yes, you can” he whispered.

She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. “Drake….”

“I’m never letting you go again.” His response was instantaneous, and she felt her heart flutter. She nodded, then took a step back.

“We can clean tomorrow.” She said. “It’s been a long night.”

Emma walked away and as she reached the stairs she turned back to see Drake where she left him, looking after her. She gave a little wave and went to her room, with a million thoughts flying through her head. Their dynamic was changing. Something between them was shifting, and she couldn’t deny it any longer. As she lay in bed she heard her phone buzz. Sighing she reached over to it, afraid of what it said, but to her surprise it was a message from Drake, even though he was right downstairs. When she opened it, she realized Olivia must have sent him their picture and he had forwarded it to her with a single word

“STAY”

 @blackwidow2721 @sleepwalkingelite @flowerpowell @agent-bossypants @annekebbphotography @carabeth @imaketerriblechoices @eileendannie @innerpostmentality @mrsernestsinclaire @furiousherringoperatortoad @wannabemc2 @blubutterflyy @traeumerinwitzhelden @choicesmacmakes @andy-loves-corgis @nekkidmolerat @sweetest-marbear @notoriouscs

[horansqueen]

BITTERSWEET (1)

1.

Most of the time, Harry Styles was happy. Why wouldn't he be? What could he possibly be missing? He had everything he wanted, right? An amazing career, a beautiful and not really dysfunctional family, a large circle of friends (famous and non famous) and more money than he could need for 3 or 4 lifetimes. And Harry was happy. He loved his life and even if he could, he wouldn't change anything about it.

Sometimes though, after a concert, after hearing the screams of his fans, after filling his heart with all the love they were sending him, after the boost of adrenaline he had every single time he was performing... sometimes, after all this was gone and he ended up alone in a hotel room... sometimes, he felt lonely. Sometimes, some things from his past rushed through his mind. The mistakes he made, the words he said but didn't mean, the paths he choose impulsively.. all this invaded his thoughts, no matter what he was trying to do.

He would never admit it, but sometimes, he even found himself crying in bed late at night, unable to fall asleep, as if something was forcing him to go through those memories again and again.

"Are you ready to get back on stage?"

"Mm?"

Harry looked up at his new best friend and guitarist, diving his gaze into Mitch's eyes before quickly nodding.

"Yea, only a few shows left."

He wasn't even sure what he wanted, anymore. He loved being on stage, it gives him a sensation he wasn't able to get anywhere else. It brought inside him a feeling intense that couldn't be compared to anything... or almost. He pushed the thought away and just shrugged. Harry also liked relaxing, and he knew he needed it, but where was he supposed to relax when this tour will be over? Home? Where was even home? He didn't know anymore. The only real home he could remember was when he lived with his sister and his mom. That was home. Since then, nothing had really felt like home.

He grabbed his notebook and scribbled the word "HOME" in caps, followed with a bunch of question marks. He would laugh at himself if he didn't feel so pathetic.

"Can we stop at a book store?" Mitch asked, looking at the road ahead of him.

Harry was not the type to let himself get driven. He liked to take the wheel, he liked to be in control. In every single part of his life. There was no exception and there probably would never be. But today, he was tired, and he didn't want to argue. Perhaps, he felt a bit nostalgic that his tour was almost over.

"Yea, sure, why not." he just said, shrugging. "I need something new to read anyway."

The book store was small and normally, the cute bell that rang when Harry pushed the front door would have made him smile but he just couldn't. What was right in front of him was not something he expected to see.

There was a big photo in the middle of a table, surrounded by a ton of copies of the same book. He stared at the girl on the picture and held his breath until Mitch passed by him, hitting his shoulder lightly.

"Mate, you okay?"

Swallowing hard, Harry just nodded but couldn't take his eyes off of her. She smiled exactly the way he remembered and somehow, it made his heart skip a beat. How many months passed since he had seen her? 20? 22? Almost two years.

He took a step closer and held his breath as he grabbed the book in his hand, turning it around swiftly only to meet her smiling face again. She had always wanted to be an author, and she had talent. No matter how many times she would doubt herself, no matter how many times she would groan as she sat in front of her computer, no matter how many times she'd delete everything to start again... He knew she had talent. He was her first reader, and he hoped that somehow, it changed something.

Slowly and very carefully, he opened the book, moving the pages gently until the very first. There was a few words written as a dedication and reading them made him swallow again.

"To you. You know who you are."

He didn't want to sound vain, but he knew it was for him. He knew this book was written for him and even if he was scared of what was inside, he was also touched and slightly excited. He turned the book again, his eyes stopping a few seconds again on her picture, before to read the short synopsis.

"When Amelia Carter met Henry Miles, her whole life changed. He was handsome, rich, and famous, but it was not what dragged her to him-"

With a frown, Harry looked up and sighed. Henry Miles? Was she serious? Quickly and without thinking, he walked to the front desk to pay, putting the book on the counter a bit roughly and searching for his wallet in his back pocket.

When he was not on stage, he liked to wear comfortable and totally non-glamorous clothes and today was no exception. Simple black shorts and the first t-shirt his hand had reached was the outfit he had picked this morning and he couldn't really careless.

The girl he handed his card to was looking at him like she knew who he was and he didn't feel at ease, suddenly. Perhaps it was because he was buying this book or maybe just because he was not in the mood to talk to fans on that day. Either way, all he could think about was walk out of this place and leave. With his purchase, of course.

"Would you like a bag?"

He avoided the girl's eyes and simply nodded, tapping his fingers on the counter, his black painted nails making an annoying noise as he did.

"Thank you for shopping here!"

He smiled and grabbed his bag, still not looking at the girl in the eyes, which was not something usual for him. He's always been polite and well-mannered but at this exact moment, a bunch of shit was invading his mind and the thoughts that crept in his head on some alone nights in hotel rooms were now bothering him during day time.

Where was she? What happened to her? Did she think about him sometimes? Did she hate him now? After all the pain he made her endure, he wouldn't blame her if she did. Then why did he hope that she didn't hate him? Why did he desperately want to see her again?

--------------

The ride to the airport was boring and long. Every other second, Harry would glance at the book in his hands. Why he didn't have the guts to open it already was obvious and every time he'd flip the first pages, something would stir in his stomach. He wanted it. He wanted to know how she felt about him, he wanted to know what she actually thought of him. Of course, it was a work of fiction, but he knew when she wrote, she put her whole heart into it. Did he enjoy thinking he was still in her heart? Perhaps a bit more than he should, yes.

For some odd reason, he was so lost in his thought that he forgot he was not alone. He forgot he was in public. He forgot there would be paparazzis waiting to snap a picture of him in his old sweatpants and holed shirt. He forgot his face would be all over the internet in less than an hour.

He grabbed his bag and got out of the car, holding the book in one of his hands. The cover seemed to burn his palm but he walked naturally, sending small smiles to the fans screaming his name and waving gently at them until they were out of sight.

How he managed to sit in the plane with the same damn book laying on his lap was a mystery but he stared at it and it seemed to stare right back, teasing him or smirking at him just to piss him off.

"Why did you buy it if it was not to read it?" he breathed to himself in an annoyed tone before grabbing it roughly and skipping the few empty pages at the start.

"She fell in love the first time she saw him. He was tall, dark, handsome, and totally inaccessible."

Was he really inaccessible? He didn't feel like he was, but perhaps, from the outside, he could seem like it. Wait, did she write she fell in love the first time their eyes met?

"He made her lose control, a control she was attached to, a control she liked having. Falling in love with Henry Miles was like throwing herself off a cliff without anything to absorb the shock, without anyone to catch her at the bottom.  Falling in love with him was the most daring thing she had ever done, and letting him get in her life, the most dangerous."

Harry re-read the paragraph four times, maybe five, without really knowing how to feel. He never knew her feelings were so strong, he never knew she gave him a chance to break her. And that's what he did. He broke her.

Slowly, he closed the book, letting the words he read sink in. It took him a few seconds before grabbing his phone and turning it on. Not his official phone, of course. Not the phone he texted his friends, family and management with. Not the phone he needed for work. No, he grabbed the other phone, with the dark pink phonecase.

He moved his fingers on the screen until he got in a specific folder. Her folder. He couldn't help his lips to curl sadly at the sight of them together. She would always insist on taking selfies of them both. "For the memories" she always said. "When we'll be old and senile, we'll need those pictures to remember."

He only laughed at her words but deep down, he always thought that he wouldn't need the pictures because he'd always have her. But now... Now he didn't have her anymore, and he was glad those pictures existed.

She looked so young, maybe even younger than him, even if she was almost 8 years older. It didn't matter. For some reason he didn't understand, she enjoyed when people would mistaken her for younger.

His heart twisted in his chest as he flipped the pictures quickly and he swallowed the pain that was slowly spreading inside him. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and turned the phone off again. He desperately wanted to text her. He wanted to ask her so many questions, tell her how sorry he was, and maybe even more, but he didn't. Instead, he threw his phone back in his bag, along with the book.

He needed time to think. He needed time to put all the pieces back together. He just didn't want to admit to himself that he needed her.

[surveysonfleek]

1041.

1: (truth) Who was your first major celebrity crush? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle and post the first five songs. dare: permission - ro james, so amazing - boyz ii men, when we - tank, over my dead body - drake, rock wit u - ashanti.

2: (truth) What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in the past week? (dare) Refresh your dashboard and send an anonymous compliment to the person who posted whatever’s at the top of your dash. truth: my phone network sent me a message saying my payment bounced from my bank. i didn’t tell anyone i knew personally but it was still embarrassing.

3: (truth) What are your three favorite things about your appearance? (dare) List all nine of your tumblr crushes, and describe each blog/blogger in one word. truth: i have thick hair (no whites yet), full eyebrows and nice skin tone.

4: (truth) What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? (dare) Post the oldest selfie on your camera roll. truth: planned a surprise getaway for me.

5: (truth) If your parents knew everything you’ve ever done, what would they think is the worst thing? (dare) Tag the three nonmutuals you admire most. truth: definitely the drugs.

6: (truth) What is the last thing you purchased? (dare) Tag three people you’ve thirst followed. truth: money for my travel card haha.

7: (truth) How many hours did you sleep last night? (dare) Send an anonymous compliment to the last person who followed you. truth: eh... about 5.

8: (truth) If you could go on a date with any of your mutuals, who would it be and what would you do? (dare) Send an anonymous compliment to one of your four “Biggest Fans” on tumblr. ugh, i’m really not a tumblr person so i’ll skip this.

9: (truth) How did you meet your best friend? (dare) Refresh your dashboard. Open the blog of the person who posted whatever’s at the top of your dash. Reblog their most recent selfie. truth: at a house party through mutual friends.

10: (truth) What was your favorite band five years ago? (dare) Tag a blog that posts very different content from yours, but that you couldn’t imagine not following. idk.

11: (truth) Where did you get each article of clothing you’re wearing right now? (dare) Pick up the closest book to you. Turn to page 39 and copy down line 7. truth: jumper - best n less, undies - bonds, shirt and shorts - cotton on.

12: (truth) What are your five favorite girls’ names and five favorite boys’ names? (dare) Copy and paste the 14th line of text from the last document you worked on in Word or Google Drive. pass.

13: (truth) What’s your most irrational fear? (dare) Tag five mutuals who take amazing selfies. truth: cockroaches.

14: (truth) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life (consisting of clothes you already own), what would it be? (dare) Tag someone you follow who has amazing fashion sense. if the weather didn’t matter probably my black dress with detailing on the front, denim jacket and ankle boots.

15: (truth) If you could rock any unusual article of clothing/makeup technique/hairstyle, what would it be? (dare) Go to the blog of the last person you reblogged a text post from. Reblog your favorite of their selfies. super colourful makeup.

16: (truth) What is your dream job? (dare) Post the four most recent pictures in your camera roll. travel writer. or vlogger even.

17: (truth) Where is the last place you went that took over two hours to get to? (dare) Post screenshots of your phone’s lock screen and home screen. work when there was a crazy traffic jam.

18: (truth) How old were you when you had your first kiss? If you haven’t had it yet, how old do you want to be? (dare) Go to the last app/tab you opened. Post a screenshot. i was 16.

19: (truth) What is the first thing you remember having to keep secret? (dare) Tag five bloggers who you associate with being obsessed with something particular, and list what each of them is obsessed with. my older cousin smoking in front of me and asking me not to tell  my parents. i was like, 4.

20: (truth) What does your bedroom look like? (dare) Take one selfie and post it. You only get one shot! (No old selfies or retrying, even if you think you look bad) messy.

21: (truth) What three fictional characters would you most like to meet? (dare) Write your name down on a piece of paper and draw a quick picture of yourself. Take a photo of it and post it idkkkk.

22: (truth) What are three things you’re looking forward to? (dare) Tag the last three people you reblogged posts from, and estimate how many followers they have. the weekend, weddings this year, concerts.

23: (truth) What are your three biggest turn ons, and your three biggest turn offs? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle. Without actually listening to it, write the lyrics to the chorus of the first song boring.

24: (truth) If you could only own five material objects (not counting life necessities like food/water/a house/etc) what would they be? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle. Post what the first three songs are, and for each one, tag a blog that the song reminds you of. a givenchy handbag, the biggest, flashiest engagement ring ever, a tesla, all the shoes and a new macbook.

25: (truth) What is the last thing you lied about? (dare) Tag three people you want to know better and ask them each three questions about themselves. i forgot.

26: (truth) What’s the last movie you watched? (dare) Reblog the most recent of your own selfies posted on tumblr, and in the tags say two things you like about your appearance in it? girls trip.

27: (truth) What are three things you like about yourself unrelated to your appearance? (dare) Post a picture from your camera roll that you’ve been meaning to post on tumblr. i’m funny, very honest and loyal.

28: (truth) How do you take your coffee? (dare) Post the last picture you posted on a social media platform other than tumblr. iced coffee.

29: (truth) What are your worst habits? (dare) Put your Top 25 Most Played songs on shuffle and list the first five. laziness.

30: (truth) What is the last thing you did that you have to keep secret from someone? Who do you have to keep it secret from? (dare) Tag five blogs with great URLs. just... not say anything?

[ladyanywhere23]

Wish

Prompt: “You didn’t see anything! Back to bed!”

Ship: TJ Hammond x Female Reader (friendship)

Word Count: 1855

Triggers: Angst turned into fluff, Previous drug use, Depression, Some language…

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Looking back, I feel like this is a prompt that would be good for a couple having sex and their kid walking in on them. I decided to go in the opposite direction because why not? 😉 I also tried to fit in as many Easter eggs to other Seb characters/movies/TV shows as I could. See if you can find them all lol

After writing scripts for the past year, my fiction writing muscle needs some stretching. Thoughts and critiques are appreciated but please be kind. (Copying and pasting is super annoying so if anything looks out of place, bear with me…)

And most importantly, Gen, congrats on 8,000 followers and graduating! Thank you for letting me be a part of the celebration.

***

What a day… you thought as you walked home in the unseasonal drizzle. The wind whistled around you as your heels clicked on the pavement. Your bag, filled with countless papers and pointless clutter, dug into your already tense shoulder. And the space between your eyes pulsated with painful pressure. It was a long and arduous day; one of those days where you wish that you could drown it in a bottle of Jack and chase it with a bottle of Johnny. You stopped yourself for a moment and took a breath. And with your exhalation, the downpour started.

“Fuck” you cried, running in the direction of your apartment which was, thank god, not very far. Scrambling, you run up the steps and attempt to pull out your keys. Your phone come out with it and bangs against the pavement. You wilt to the ground to examine your phone. The screen now had a lovely crack over your screensaver; a goofy selfie with your best friend. You didn’t even have the energy to cry or scream or even have a real reaction. You just got your keys, picked up your crap, let yourself inside to a dark and empty apartment. If your heart could sink anymore, it would be floating downstream to the gutter. Nothing. Nobody. Just you alone. Everything you had with you just fell to the floor. Your soaked coat was dumped on your favorite arm chair. Shoes kicked underneath the dining room table. Who cared if the place was a mess? Nobody was there to see it.

Wanting to wash off from the day, you walk straight into the bathroom and with the turn of the light, you cringe at the sight of yourself. Your beautiful styled hair from the morning was a disaster as it stuck to your forehead. Your make up: melted. Your eyes: sad. Everything you’d worked so hard on was for naught. If only you could’ve walked in with the same confidence you left with this morning. It was a shitty day. You remembered the untidiness in the living room and guilt sunk in, remembering that it wasn’t just your place. All you could do before walking out and picking up your stuff was side-eye yourself in the mirror and say:

“Happy Birthday to me.”

***

“Y/N?” TJ shouted as he walked in and turned on the great room lights. The house was quiet. Relief washed over him as put his many shopping bags on the kitchen counter. With you out of the house (so he thought), he could prep for your birthday surprise. TJ loved you so much so he was pulling out all the stops. Everything has to be perfect he thought as he took out the birthday cake he picked up from your favorite bakery. You were one of the few people that stood by him those dark years of his addiction. That’s why it was so hard for him to find out that you too, were also suffering.

Between overloading your class load and interning at one of the most prestigious law firms in D.C, you found yourself more and more retreating to the bottom of a bottle. At first, it was a glass of wine to loosen you up at company dinners. Then it was two. And then it was a couple of glasses of brandy when discussing current affairs with your parents, TJ’s parents, and other political big wigs at various conferences while attempting to uphold the equally powerful family name. Pretty soon, you were racking up large tabs at various bars and liquor stores in the city. And you gained a one-way ticket to the front page of every fake news tabloid, discussing your new party girl persona and how long until you crashed and burned in glorious fashion.

You seemed to no longer be the ambitious and studious woman you made yourself out to be. At the worst of your alcohol dependence, you couldn’t remember anything for three days straight, coming to at your very public birthday party last year. The press took sick pleasure on seeing not one but two political dynasties flounder in embarrassment. An intervention took place a day later with your closest family and friends and you packed your bags to rehab; a surprisingly well needed break from the rest of the world. Taking steps every day, you re-devoted yourself to your health and studies, which led to your graduation and becoming a junior associate at your firm.

That’s why this day was so important to TJ; not just because it was your birthday. But the fact that you had been sober for a year. And not only that, but you had inspired him to continue to fight with his sobriety. And because there wasn’t a cake for being one year older and one year sober, he had to improvise. He pulled out your barely used mixer and a print out of a frosting recipe. How hard could it be to write out a few words in homemade frosting? One by one, he added the ingredients into the bowl and turned the mixer on. Powder sugar flew out of the bowl on to the counter; not to mention, his black T-shirt, dark jeans, and loafers. It looked like he was attacked by a baking ghost.

”This may be harder than I thought” he said to himself before sneezing on the powder sugar still hanging in the air. 

***

You awoke from your nap, completely unrested. The day still hung onto you even after you took your hair down and wiped off what was left your make up. A light shown through the crack of your door. You and your aching body got up from your bed and made your way out of your room.

“Teej?” Your small, tired voice elicited no response. You followed the light down the hall to find your best friend and roommate huddled over something on the counter with a mess around and on him. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Shit! You didn’t see anything! Back to bed!”

“And hello to you too, asshole” you growled with bottled conviction.

“Hey, hold on!”

“Don’t even bother, TJ” shouting as you walk dejectedly back to your room; not even he cared about your birthday.

“Y/N?” Reluctantly, you turned around. 

“Look TJ, I’m tired. This day has been momentously terrible and you being an jerkface punk isn’t helping. I just wanted to get something to drink and-.” He interrupted you by handing you a wine glass with a fruity drink.

“Sparkling apple juice” he reassured you as you looked at the glass wearily.

“And see if there was anything that resembled cake and go back to sleep and forget about this crappy day.” He held his finger up, mouthed ‘one moment’, and walked back to the kitchen. You took a sip as you waited, enjoying the refreshing bubbles hit your tongue. TJ reappeared with a beautifully messy cake glittered with lit candles. And just like that, you forgot that you were angry.  

“Happy birthday, darling” he said, sincerely. A tear started to form in your eye. And just as he was about to sing: 

“Oh god, please don’t sing. Just stick to the piano.” He laughed with earnest and nodded his head.

“Good idea. But do you like it?”

“Yes. It’s beautiful” you spoke as you closed your eyes to think of a wish. You then blew out all the candles on one breath. “It seems like you were the only one that remembered.”

“I think because you always tell people not to make a big deal out of it.”

“Yeah, well especially after last year…”

”Oh fuck last year.”

“Language, Mr. Hammond” you mocked with faux discipline. Rolling his eyes, he continued.

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t worry about what happened last year. That was a year ago. You’ve made so much progress and look at how much you have accomplished. I can’t stop bragging about my brilliant best friend I want you to know that I am so completely proud of you, it’s not even funny. And honestly, you should be too.” That was the best thing you had heard all day; even better than ˜happy birthday.” 

“Thank you, TJ.” You planted an innocent kiss on him and wrapped your arms around him awkwardly as he still held the cake in his hands. “I needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome. I wish the cake could’ve been better than the sentiments but maybe my hands should just stick to the piano.” 

“What are you talking about? It looks great” you admired the cake. On closer inspection, you noticed something. “But you’ve known me for how long and did you seriously forget how old I was turning?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“You put two more candles on the cake.”

“Oh, well, that’s because one is for your one year of sobriety. And the other is the lucky candle.” You beamed at the small but meaningful gesture. 

“With friends like you, I don’t need luck. But you have thought of everything haven’t you?”

“Pretty much.” He lead you back into the kitchen, putting the cake back on the counter. He took one the shopping bags off the counter and handed it to you. “Here.” 

“What did you get me” you asked curiously. You pulled out a fantastic red dress in your size. “Holy crap, this is gorgeous.” 

“I know it is, it’ll make your boobs look great” he chuckled as you spun around like a child. “And don’t think this is your present because we have a lot more in store.” 

“Oh really, like what?”

“You’d better get yourself all dolled up and get that dress on ‘cause we have reservations to get to if you’re up for it.

“If food is involved, you know I am in. Where are we going?”

“Buchanan’s Steakhouse at 8:30. We’re meeting up with your parents, my parents and Nana, Dougie and Anne, Rachel, Nancy, and a certain gentleman caller of mine.”

“I finally get to meet the famous Christopher?”

“Yes, you do. And you think I was the only one who remembered your birthday.”

“Ahh! I can’t believe you did all of this for me though” you exclaimed as you grabbed him for a hug again. He squeezed you tight and then pulled away.

“Now, you go get changed. I’ll put the cake in the fridge and clean up the mess I made and then we will go celebrate.” You ran with your new party dress to the bathroom after yelling: 

“You’re the best!”

“Tell me something I don’t know” he yelled back.

You closed the door and looked in the mirror again. You didn’t see a sad, beaten down woman. You saw a lucky woman with friends and family who love you and support you. You knew that you were going to walk out just as confident as you walked out that morning. And you also knew that you were going to be fine.

“Happy Birthday to me.”

After all, you wished for a good year so it might as well start out good.

fin

Tag List: @bucky-plums-barnes

[heyhihelloidontusethisanymo-blog]

deh cell phone/social media headcanons (?)

ok so I like rarely post on this blog but I couldn’t stop thinking about like what they’d all be like using their phones and stuff?? idk im tired this is gonna be shitty but less go

jared:

ok but he would def have an ifunny and have like 1834384 followers (or whatever idk how it works but he’d be popular ya know)

and like brag about it  constantly

like “guys I’m like,,, ,, kind of famous not to brag”

(but he would be bragging)

(110%)

ok hear me out,, but he would SO be one of those people who have an android phone and believe that apple products are Spawned From Satan™

like if anyone would be like “haha lol why do u have that crappy phone” he would launch into a fULL ON RANT about how much apple sucks and all the cool stuff on his phone and how much better it is

he would probs have a meme account on insta too tbh

he would have a voicemail that goes “hello?” and trick the person to start talking ya know

and like ten seconds in he would be like “SiKe i’m not here rn hahAAA leave a message”

he would text in all lowercase for sURE

lots of crytyping and excessive commas obvi

uh he would have the highest snapscore (or whatever it’ ever it’s called)

his story would always be sooo long 

all just vids of his day and people doing funny things

he would have 23859320495803 snapchat memories ok

he would just be v funny idk i love him

connor:

connor frekaing murphy okay

just hear me out pls

,he would probably have a tumblr that’s like surprisingly aesthetic?

(idk how to word that but you now what i’m trying to say)

but it would be a Major Secret™ like if someone asked him he would be like “lol tumblr who is that”

his screen on his phone would always be shattered

he wouldn’t really care tho tbh

his insta would probably be like empty except for one picture he posted when he was really young

but after he meets evan he posts a lot more

like really really random candids that most people would just delete

that would be his entire account okay

(also pictures of evan being Cute)

he would most likely always have the second newest iphone

like when everyone had an iphone 7 he would have a 6 know what i mean

ok but 

cmon

he would DEF take so many selfies

and like keep them in his my eyes only on snapchat

he would never post them anywhere but one day he decided to post one on insta and everyone was s h o o k 

and freaked out

im talking like 200 comments

anyway

I just don’t picture him using snapchat that much

i think he would like have a streak with evan and maybe like a 3 day one with jared every once in a while but other than that nothin

his voicemail would be like “u can leave a message but ill probably not listen to it so just text me instead bye”

yeah that’s connor

zoe:

zoe i love her omg

ok 

so she would have an insta and it would have The Best Theme Ever™

it would be v pastel i feel

and there would be a lot of pictures of flowers

and of alana

obvi

she would also post vids of her like playing the guitar and other instruments and they would be so good and get like so many likes

her bio would be something really deep but in french?

like she would probably go on google translate and type in a cool quote and just copy and paste it into her bio tbh 

but it would be so cute and cool

she would have a rose gold iphone

no matter what

it would always be the newest kind

and she would like n e v e r wear a case on her phone 

(except for those clear ones, in which case she would like draw on them or put stickers on)

but her phone would never crack or get scratched

ever

and everyone would be like “????? how???”

she would DEF have a tumblr

she would have a personal blog and then an aesthetic one and like 39483 extra sideblogs

her voicemail would be the typical “hey, it’s zoe! can’t get to the phone right now, pls leave a message!”

she would have had it as one like jared’s before but it probably somehow screwed her over

so she changed it

she would text in all caps a lot i feel

i just love her?? ok??

alana:

guys.

GUYS

i have so many for this girl

she would have a tumblr too

and she would follow every single one of zoe’s blogs

she would SO have a studyblr okay

like she would for sure have a bullet journal 

and have such pretty and high quality pens and highlighters

it would be everyone’s goals

her insta probably doesn’t have a theme tho

I feel like she wouldn’t post often?? ?

but when she would it would either be a long political thing or just a cute pic of zoe

she would have like mostly perfect grammar when she texts

except she would just use like SO MANY question marks

not like?? this??

but it would be like Wow?????????

like that

that made no sense

ok moving on

her voicemail. her voicemail

would be so extra okay

like she would have definetly (that’s not how u spell that ok) have found a way to make it so u have to press the numbers when u call her

like “for work calls, press 1. for family calls, press 2. zoe murphy, press 3.” that type thing

and she would have SO MANY different categories for everyone

people would get annoyed with it and give passive agressive messages sometimes but she wouldn’t care reallu

she loves her organized voicemail

she would def save her own money to buy her phone

but she would like mostly buy the iphone 6

idk why

she just would

SHE WOULD HAVE A SNAPCHAT STREAK WITH EVERYONE. dont fight me on this i know it

i love alana too 

evan:

okay okay okay guys

i saved the best for last

i like,,,, love evan so much ok

what a little bean

anyways

so first of all 

he would probably have the iphone 5s

and it would run out of battery in about .2 seconds

he wouldn’t really care but he feels bad missing his mom’s calls so he’s always asking for a car charger 

his background would be of trees on his lock screen (obvi okay)

but his homescreen would be a pic of connor 

4 sure

of course

and once they’re like “official” his lockscreen would be a pic of them

just bein cute

aw 

ok this is for a different time but id like to mention that i feel like he would have a dog?

moving on

his voicemail would probably be the standard “your call has been transfered to an automated voice messaging system. blah blah blah.”

but jared would be like “dude. u gotta change that.”

so after like 203857 tries he finally just goes

“hithisisevanimnothererightnowpleaseleaveamessage”

(connor would think it’s adorable btw)

his instagram would be adorable

he would probably post every two seconds

he would post a lot of pics of trees

but when becomes closer with alana and zoe and connor he starts posting pics of all them together and like cute blurry selfies

his bio would be like “HI, this is evan! Here are my pictures.”

he would have a snap but not post on it much

like maybe every once in a while

but he would of course have a streak with connor

(probably alana too tbh)

oh i forgot to mention this but he would be terrified to crack his phone

he would have a big clunky case 

(like an off brand otter box but worse)

he would text with perfect grammar

it would be so cute

like “Hello, how are you?”

aaaaa

but when he would get really anxious he would pull up like one of those soothing sounds apps

and put use the apple headphones that you get with the phone in

(he would still have those and never loose them btw)

and he’d just try to breathe and listen

i love this boy so much. so so much. yeah. 

wow this was longer than i expected lol hope u enjoyed that crappy headcanon!

(ps i ended up actually making the pets headcanon so if u wanna see it lmk and i can post it lol)

[chaekkung]

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

[narrator-scio-story]

What's Happening 8/22

I’ve been on a couple of awesome - if perhaps short - trips in the past week. A visit to California, and a separate trip to Nebraska. My mother tells me that I visited California once before, when I was a baby, because my parents went to a conference there. They got a rubbish babysitter while they were at the conference, who just sat in the hotel room and made me watch cartoons the whole time. I really hadn’t been a TV watcher prior to that, and my parents wanted me to be taken around outside in my pram but since the babysitter didn’t do that, I hated it. Well, this visit to California was at least better than that. Our main goal of the trip was to visit colleges - when we looked for tours at CalTech, Harvey Mudd and UC Berkeley earlier in the summer, UC Berkeley was already full so we just booked tours for the other two. I wasn’t especially excited about CalTech, I really just wanted to visit Berkeley and Harvey Mudd, but since we were going all the way there, it only made sense to visit at least two, and since Berkeley tours weren’t available, I visited Caltech and Harvey Mudd. The first day, though, we didn’t visit a college, we just visited JPL. It took a while to get the rental car - the plane landed at 2:45 and getting out of the airport, getting the shuttle to Budget, and waiting in line took us in total an entire hour. (We traveled with only bags small enough to fit under the seats in front of us so we didn’t have to pay the baggage fee. We flew Frontier, so yes, there would’ve been a baggage fee for overhead luggage.) Once we got the rental car we set Google maps up to take us to JPL. It was just about rush hour, and Google really didn’t want to put us on the highway. First it asked us to turn left at a no-left-turn intersection, then it tried to drive us through the airport and we were like no, so eventually we ended up getting all the way across LA on tiny side roads which involved way too many left turns. We were maybe an hour and a half later to JPL than we’d intended, and the visitor center has apparently closed but my mum’s friend who worked there had requested visitor access for us, and managed to give us a tour of the emptying campus. We saw the Mars yard, and some movies, and all sorts of models, but of course I was most excited about all the Earth observing satellites. I took photos of the diagrams of where the satellites were, I took selfies with posters about OCO-3, it was very exciting. Science Olympiad has done this to me I swear. Remote Sensing is literally the best event but that’s another discussion entirely. Another discussion I have a lot but won’t have here because it would get boring if I did it too many times. We stayed overnight with my mum’s friend and his family, who were very entertaining and had good discussions and told us all about their cats and chickens. Then the next morning it was time to visit the colleges - we’d signed up for the tours and so on at specific times - and despite Google Maps again giving somewhat odd instructions, we made it to CalTech on time. My tour guide was studying geochemistry, she said - she might have said she was the only one in her year? - but mostly during the tour it feels like I learnt about what was fun on campus. We heard a lot about their house system (similar to Hogwarts houses, they claimed), and their dinner rules and traditions, and the pranks, and the parties. It’s funny hearing the story of CalTech’s cannon from the perspectives of both MIT and Caltech, and Harvey Mudd too which I’ll get to later. I suppose CalTech is more fun than I’d imagined - for some reason in my head, it seemed very isolated in location, with people who all came out the same (aka not as the only geochemist they had). I understand the value of their core curriculum, I’m just worried that I might not find all of it interesting, and not end up working as hard as I should. Also, despite not being as physically isolated as I thought, the tour guides still told me that people don’t normally bike into town, it’s more public transport if not driving. And LA doesn’t seem to really have a center. I don’t know how happy I would be to live there. Plus, it sounded like the students were mentally inside their little bubble. Okay, Caltech’s a tech school rather than a liberal arts school, but the tour guide never said anything about politics or initiatives or really caring about issues in the world. I’m sure I could fit in as a techer and be happy there. But would I really become the type of person I hope to? Harvey Mudd, later that afternoon, left me much less on the fence. After a little bit of mess from my selecting the wrong town in California to drive to (we basically just got off the motorway too early, and we got back onto it having only lost a little time), we arrived from Caltech with enough time to grab something to eat before the information session. We actually got to the cafeteria just after it had closed, but the women working there nicely directed us toward the other cafe which was still open. We managed to get lost again on the way there, but another girl - I assumed she was a student - pointed us back where we should be. I actually saw her again through a glass door as all of us going to the information session were sent from the upstairs waiting room to the small auditorium downstairs. We smiled at each other so I think she recognized me. At that point, I was already like, I like this place, I’d be happy to come here. During the info session and tour, okay, I didn’t pick up the same dorm culture that Caltech has - part of the culture that makes me so much want to go to MIT - although the tour guide insisted they did have some. I didn’t feel like I asked as many questions, but I think that was because so many things I cared about were already addressed, rather than because I didn’t care as much. The tour guide also told us that they stole Caltech’s cannon first, that the MIT students had just copied them. And apparently some of their dorms about each other. It wouldn’t be boring, I’m sure, even if it’s not as big a thing? I guess? The reason I first heard about Harvey Mudd was that they have created a much better gender ratio in the computer science major than in most other places, and hearing about the core curriculum, I can really see how that would happen. Having special relativity as your first physics class - of course that would create an interest. Using programming in other math and science courses - obviously that would make people appreciate it better and understand its value. Plus, while I didn’t feel like Caltech’s campus was as small as I’d imagined it, at Harvey Mudd, with even fewer students, it felt like one UK-style college in a bigger university. All the Claremont colleges seemed so integrated together, it didn’t feel like you were going to run out of people to get to know it that all of your friends would be too similar to you for you to learn anything new. So I am still a bit on the fence about applying to Caltech, and unlike a lot of other colleges, there’s not some older South student I was amazing friends with to try to really understand what it’s like to be there. There were aspects of it that really made me happy though, so it’s tough to decide. I guess I’ll probably apply in the regular decision round if I do apply, so that does let me change my mind late in the game if I really need to. And applying of course doesn’t guarantee getting in or going. Harvey Mudd I wouldn’t have a role model either, but from just the little I know I feel like it’s a forward moving place which would push me in the right direction. I want to apply there. I don’t know if I’d go if it were a choice between Harvey Mudd and this college, or Harvey Mudd and that college. But it’s a place I want to try for. And then we got in the car and drove straight to the airport because apparently security lines are long at LAX. Our flight back actually ended up being delayed though. Oh well. And then the other trip! The eclipse! Yay! The original plan had been to wake up at like 5am and drive to Wyoming, inside the path of totality, to watch it. My dad has had the eclipse glasses for ages. But then somebody at work made this plan with him to go to Nebraska and camp for the night and then watch the eclipse there instead, and that’s what we ended up doing, 3 families. We camped in the Pawnee National Grasslands, managed by the National Forest Service (I don’t know why, there literally were no trees). It was technically still in Colorado, but just near the border with Nebraska, so we wouldn’t have as far to drive the day of the eclipse. What I don’t think anyone planned, but what made me super, super happy, was that we happened to be just across the road from loads and loads of wind turbines. It wasn’t a campsite or anything, just some grass and we did a fire pit because somebody forgot their grill and the website said no fire restrictions, but I swear it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever slept. We could watch the sun set brilliantly behind the wind turbines, there were a couple of hills to climb which gave you an amazing view across the plains, it very much avoided light pollution of the stars. And then the next morning around 8 we joined the long stream of traffic heading north, got stuck in the enormous lines at the first gas station in one of the towns there (we later saw that the town had a second gas station nobody at all was using but oh well), fought about whether it would’ve been a better idea to have gone with the original plan about Wyoming, tried to convert the eclipse start times from UTC to mountain time, and eventually made it to a spot on the side of the road - quite close to the center of totality for longitude - a few minutes before the partial eclipse started there. We watched with our glasses as the tiny wiggle in the edge of the sun grew to basically swallow it like a cookie (always less than 3 minutes at a time though, I read that instruction on the side of the glasses and everyone tried to follow it, while also questioning why, exactly, I had read something like that), and when there was just a sliver left and it seemed to be shrinking faster and faster - when the sky had gone dusk colored but with a rainbow, sunset-like thing all around the edge and we were wishing we’d stayed in long pants because it was suddenly a lot cooler - I ran further up the hill and everyone followed me and we put on our glasses again just to watch the last of it disappear. And then when we’d checked that it was really, truly gone, we took our glasses off and my dad set his 2 minute timer to tell us when to put our glasses back on. It was beautiful, you really could see the corona and it was huge and so much paler than any blurry photos on my phone make it seem like it was. We actually waited there on the side of the road until the very end of the partial eclipse, although we saw loads of cars driving back south from the moment totality had finished. We ate our lunch during the rest of the partial, the little girls in the group criticized my slowness and caution coming down the hill and made me do it again faster, we sat in our folding chairs in a row joking about this being like a very slow sporting event. The traffic was pretty bad when we finally left, and you knew it was all because of the eclipse because it was so, so much stronger going in the direction we were headed than the other direction. Even during rush hour, if it had been people coming home from work they should’ve been heading the other way, away from Denver. But overall it was a brilliant trip, there were some oil drilling things (which are depressing) at the beginning of the drive there but all the beautiful wind turbines in the middle made up for it. (I actually saw the oil things in California too, those ones didn’t have wind turbines to match them though.) So I’ve enjoyed my first visit to Nebraska and almost-first visit to California, and now it’s back to the normal day-to-day trips to the library to produce Science Olympiad tests because my laptop can’t connect to the apartment wifi!

[sargentsnowy-blog]

Never Forget You

New idea popped into my head when I was doing the other one-shot. So here it is.

Song: Never Forget You

/\/\

~I used to be so happy~

~Buy without you here I fell so low~

Star sat in her bedroom on Mewni. Tears streamed down her face.

She just left her home on Earth, her favorite dimension. And even worse, her crush, soulmate, true love, Marco.

She left him without any knowledge of what was going on. Star felt her happy dememanor slip away.

~I watched you as you left~

~But I never seemed to let you go~

Marco stood in the empty guest room, soon giving in to his weak knees as he fell to the floor. He let tears freefall from his eyes to the ground, creating a large puddle in front of him

Friends, family, random people even, stood behind them, sad Star left and feeling pity for the boy.

But he didn’t care. He had to get her back.

~‘Cause once upon a time you were my everything~

Star remembered how she gave up her wand for the boy, falling in love with him. That was after she realized how much she needed him.

~It’s clear to see time hasn’t changed a thing~

Marco let himself remember when he pulled Star away from the abyss of darkness after going to the prom. How he made sure he wouldn’t let go. Even if he got pulled in too.

~Its buried deep inside me~

~But I feel there’s something you should know~

Star stood up from her dark room, grabbing her wand from the nightstand. Waving it, it turned into a sword, sharp and silver, gold at the handle.

~I will never forget you~

~You will always be by my side~

Marco grabbed his phone from his pocket and unlocked it, scrolling through his gallery of him and Star. They grinned, hugged, took individual selfies in his phone. How had he not noticed she liked him?!

~From the day that I met you~

~I knew that I would love you till the day I die~

Star remembered when she first met Marco, he was kind but didn’t like her at the time. But after the first hug she gave him, she knew that she would love him.

Not that she would fall in love with him. They were different, barely, but fairly different.

~And I would never want much more~

~And in my heart I’ll always be sure~

Marco jumped to his feet, wiping tears from his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

Turning back, he saw it was Jackie. She gave him a reassuring smile before letting him go.

He ran into his room and grabbed his scissors from his desk. He was going to Mewni.

~That I will never forget you~

~And you’ll always be by my side~

~Till the day I die~

Star felt her heart thumping as she remembered the Blood Moon Ball, how it combined her and Marco’s souls together for all eternity.

This is for Marco, she though angrily. Toffee was the reason she wasn’t on Earth with him, with her friends, family.

She knew Marco was with her somehow, and he would always be.

She looked over her shoulder to see a portal behind her. Star was even more surprised at who came out of it.

~Funny how we both end up here~

~And everything seems alright~

Marco smiled at Star, new tears running down his face as he voiced his thoughts.

“You aren’t leaving my that easily Star. You are my best friend. Even if you do like me, that doesn’t mean I can’t help you with whatever.”

~I wonder what would happen~

~If we went back and put up a fight.~

“But Toffee is back, Marco! You can’t help me! He has the other half of my wand and is way more powerful than me!” Star said, teary eyed.

“What if I was stronger? Maybe I could’ve broken the glass for good and just destroyed him! But I had to cleave the wand!” Star wiped away tears in her eyes.

~Cause once upon a time you were my everything~

Marco walked over to his teary friend and hugged her, putting his face into her hair. It was so soft and nice, she even smelt like strawberries with rainbow on top of it.

~Its clear to see that time hasn’t changed a thing~

Star hugged back, crying into his shoulder to where he was pretty sure the hoodie was gonna be soaked. She thought so too. Hugging him brought a sense of safeness and warmth like when she stood under the sun.

~So what in this world do think would ever take you off my mind?~

Marco couldn’t help but think of the hug when Star lost her book if spells or when her wand was cleaved. She was so sad each of the times. But this one seemed worse.

She lost her home, and that wasn’t gonna change to Mewni soon.

“I will never forget you~

~You will always be by my side~

Star pulled away, wiping her red eyes a bit. Then she gave him a wide grin. It was happy too.

"Let’s kick some Toffee butt?”

“Let’s kick some Toffee butt.” Marco grinned right back at her, her face heating up a bit.

~From the day that I met you~

~I knew that I would love you till the day I die~

Star lead Marco into the hallway, not caring she was holding his hand. She dragged him along, reaching a spiral staircase that lead down to the main hall.

~And I would never want much more~

~And in my heart I’ll always be sure~

Marco let Star drag him down the stairs, keeping her hand in firm hold of his. The hand was so soft and warm, he felt happier than he ever did.

~That I’ll never forget you~

~And you will always be by my side~

~Till the day I die~

Star remembered when the bike she was riding took her to the highway. She almost got hit with cars so many times. But Marco was always chasing her, goat, car, he believed in giant invisible goats for her.

~Feeling it, loving it~

~Everything we do~

Marco recalled when Star took him to Pixtopia. The Battle of the Pixies. He really loved that visit, being Star’s mess up twin fit the day.

~And all along I knew I had~

~Something special with you~

Star grinned as she squeezed Marco’s hand tighter, not letting go when she remembered Marco helped her with Mewberty. Though she didn’t remember much, she still knew Marco gave her a hug at the end.

~Sometimes just gotta know these things fall through~

~I’m still tired and i can’t hide my connection with you~

Marco gave a yawn as he walked ahead of Star. She giggles and tries to catch up, but now she was being dragged. He squeezed her hand tighter, feeling the softness settle in.

~Feeling it, loving it~

~Everything we do~

Star felt a little thump if her heart when she saw a ripped Marco when he was older in Hekapoo’s dimension. Grinning, she gave another squeeze; she was gonna get in the front.

~And all along I knew I had~

~Something special with you~

Marco felt a thump in his heart as he felt Star squeeze his hand again, reminding him of when he and Star had danced her second day on Earth, how they spun around. Before he was knocked away by Ponyhead…

~Sometimes just gotta know these things fall through~

~I can’t hide my connection with you…~

Star remembered the time she saw Jackie looking at Marco the night of the prom.

She clearly showed a frown, and had given a fake smile while taking a picture.

~I will never forget you~

~You will always be by my side~

Finally reaching the castle doors, Marco pushed them open revealing a dark purple sky with stars shining a bit in it.

~From the day that I met you~

~I knew that I would love you till the day I die~

Star pulled Marco to the ground where she sat contently on a hill. He took a seat beside her and they stared up at the sky. There were a two moons and two suns which they could still see, just far away.

~And I would never want much more~

~And in heart I’ll always be sure~

Marco smiled at Star.

“These are really pretty stars, Star…”

“It is Mewni Marco! My dimension is beautiful just like yours!”

Grinning, they stared up at the night sky for the rest of the night. Hand in hand, they sat and soon got tired.

Star lay her head on Marco’s shoulder and fell asleep, Marco resting his head on hers and followed suit.

~That I will never forget you~

~And you will always be by my side~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

~Till the day I die~

/\/\

That is my song, like I sang the whole thing in class today and everybody was just staring at me.

But I finally satifed myself because this idea has been bugging me for 2 hours.

Enjoy!

Copy and pasted from my fanfic on fanfiction.net.

Forgot to add the fanfic is called Random Starco one-shots

[thegreenwolf]

Note: This was originally posted on my Patheos blog in 2015; Patheos still has not taken down my content even though I have made formal requests for them to do so. So I am copying over some of my posts to my personal blog here, so that I and others can link to them without giving Patheos advertising revenue. ************************

My apologies for the light posting as of late; summer is festival season, which means I’m busy with vending and other activities, and it’s tough to find time and energy to write. However, this particular topic has been rolling around in my head, and I finally found the right words for it.

It all started a few weeks ago when birds–particularly crows–started fledging here in Portland. I began getting questions from people about scrawny, sick-looking birds that had others “dive-bombing” them as they sat on the ground. After seeing a few photos, it was pretty clear that people were seeing fledgling crows which, while ungainly-looking and still unsure of that “flying” thing, were in generally good health. The “dive-bombing” was parent crows feeding them, encouraging them, and otherwise staying close by in case danger threatened. Crows, after all, are highly intelligent and social; they understand what’s at stake during this vulnerable part of a young bird’s life.

I assured these folks that the crows were just fine and, with a little time and practice, would be up and off the ground with the rest. Thankfully no one decided to pick them up and put them into boxes in their garages, unsure what to do next. That’s just one example of how well-meaning humans think they need to interfere with nature’s ways and in the process make things worse. The instances in which human ignorance can be dangerous to human and non-human animals like are numerous; these are the ones that have cropped up on Facebook and elsewhere just in the past week or so:

–Every spring and summer there’s a cavalcade of people who find baby birds on the ground or baby rabbits huddled in the grass. Baby birds do fall out of nests before they’re ready to fledge, and mother rabbits often leave their babies hidden (with varying degrees of success) for hours at a time. What people should be doing is putting the birds back in the nest if they can, or making a new nest by nailing an empty plastic tupper to a tree and putting grass and the bird in it (parent birds will often feed their young even in these unorthodox holdings.) For bunnies, they should leave well enough alone, unless they look obviously ill, injured or otherwise distressed. Putting a circle of flour around them shows whether the mother has come back to check on them (thereby disturbing the flour) or not. Instead, they take possession of these little critters and either try to raise them themselves, or take them to a veterinarian or rescue facility. Even with the best of care, the mortality rate for birds and rabbits is significant, and quite often well-meaning humans sentence these animals to death by not leaving them in the wild. Here’s a good resource on what actually to do when you find baby animals unattended by their parents.

–While we’re on the subject of rabbits, there are enough domestic rabbit owners who don’t understand rabbit behavior and health that someone had to write an article on why rabbit bath videos aren’t actually cute. If you don’t understand how to properly care for an animal, maybe you shouldn’t own one–or should at least do a lot more research on that species’ behavior and unique needs.

—This video of someone feeding wild deer potato chips. Besides the fact that chips aren’t especially good food for anyone, least of all deer, these people are just encouraging the deer to lose their fear of humans. Why is this bad? Let me count the ways! Deer that aren’t afraid of humans are more likely to go wandering into people’s gardens and munch on the vegetables and flowers. They’re also at greater risk of getting hit by cars (bad for everyone involved) and they’re easier targets for hunters (the easier population control doesn’t justify the means.) The more you feed deer, the more the deer are able to reproduce and survive through hard winters that would normally thin their numbers. That means overpopulation leading to greater rates of starvation, disease and other unpleasantries.

—This misinformed person who thinks a picture of a long-dead, probably roadkilled, doe is proof hunters are routinely shooting does out of season. Fawns are born in spring and can be independent as early as two months of age, well before hunting season starts in fall (usually the second half of November). Guys, Bambi was fiction. Yes, there are poachers out there, but they’re the minority and other hunters would like to see them stopped as much as anyone else. For now, an imbalance of apex predators means hunters are one of the main ways to keep deer from becoming even more overpopulated. (Yes, I am in full support of natural, native predator reintroduction.)

—People laughing at this black bear that drank three dozen beers. Never mind that, again, beer isn’t good for a wild animal’s system. Like deer, bears are increasingly encouraged to see humans as a source of food. It’s not just a matter of campers not knowing how to bear-proof their food and drink, either. Many people deliberately feed bears and other wildlife, to include in mighty Yellowstone, because they want the animals to entertain them. They’re not content simply letting them be themselves. Eventually you end up with bears attacking people to get to their food, which all too often ends up with the bear being euthanized.

–Speaking of Yellowstone, there’s been a rash of idiots getting seriously injured while trying to take selfies with bison. (Dishonorable mention to the guy who almost died trying to take a selfie with a rattlesnake. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.) Despite the fact that it’s illegal to get close to the bison, and despite numerous warnings from park staff, people still somehow think bison are docile cattle, just a part of the scenery. (Cows are dangerous too, by the way.)

—Apparently animal rights activists still think it’s a good idea to release farmed mink into the wild. What they think they’re doing is saving the mink from being skinned alive. (No, skinning animals alive is not a standard accepted practice in the fur industry.) Instead, they’re dooming most of those mink to slow, painful, cruel deaths by starvation or exposure because they come from generations of captive-bred animals. The ones that survive compete with native wildlife and cause many other animals to have slow, painful, cruel deaths by starvation because there’s not enough food to go around. Those mink can screw up ecosystems for decades as invasive species. So much for kindness to animals.

I could go on and on about our inability to treat other animals the way they need to be treated, and our own lack of skills for when we’re outside of a comfortably civilized setting. We learn in school how to determine the hypotenuse of a triangle, go over the Revolutionary War in excruciating detail every year in history class from fourth through twelfth grade, and our biology textbooks are distressingly generalized and sterile. With few exceptions, kids are kept corralled indoors except for recesses on blacktop playgrounds. We learn how to be good little worker ants in an industrial model, but we learn early how to ignore anything that isn’t human-centered. And we spend more time indoors than ever. We’re conditioned to see the outdoors largely as the place we have to traverse in order to get to the next indoor spot.

These people who ask about fledgling crows–if they spent a year studying their local wildlife in detail, watching from a window every day, do you suppose they’d get some sense of the rhythm of non-human nature? Maybe they’d get to watch a mated pair of crows build a nest, raise and feed their young, and then integrate those young into the greater corvid community. Perhaps they’d see a mother rabbit leave and return to her young in their hiding place, or watch deer grow up, lose their spots, and start their own lives well before November.

Our utter lack of nature literacy and our disgraceful self-centeredness is leading us to destroy the entire planet, ourselves included. We need to know these things–we knew them once, but as we stopped living close to the land, we forgot them, ignored them entirely. We need to understand how delicately balanced an ecosystem is, the webs of relationships and balances that formed over thousands of years of fine-tuning and evolution. We need to know how much our actions can screw the entire system up, whether through introducing an invasive species or destroying habitat for one more golf course. We need to have our hands in the soil, watching the creek for the flash of a salamander’s belly, our eyes to the trees for the first sign of autumn’s flush of color. We need a personal relationship with non-human nature that doesn’t end with a perfectly manicured, chemical-treated lawn.

But we don’t all have to know the particulars of climate science or marine biology or organic agriculture to be attuned to our local environment. It all starts with the little things, the individual animals, plants and fungi. What if the proper response to finding baby bunnies was as well-known as when the new season of Orange is the New Black starts? What if we looked forward to the fledging of baby birds as much as the arrival of Memorial Day? What if we knew how to watch the clouds, and were able to predict how long before rain showed up, so we could decide whether or not to water the garden?

We need to return to an ancestral way in which nature is not an Other, but an Us. If we truly love nature, if we consider ourselves friends to the animals, then we need to know nature itself, through books and observations, through science and questioning. We need to know the rest of nature as well as we know ourselves.

We can no longer afford nature ignorance; it is time to embrace nature literacy.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider picking up a copy of my book Nature Spirituality From the Ground Up, which weaves together natural history and pagan spirituality.

[conorpmaynard]

All Started With a Song Part 10 // Conor Maynard

Word Count- 2221

Summary- Conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) here it is! this is way longer than i thought it would be and i didn't get to half the stuff i thought i would. so i re-planned everything. there will most likely be 13 parts now! i hope you enjoy. 

p.s. nothing crazy happens, this is mainly a filler chap. sorry if you were expecting drama!

~~

You guys headed to bed rather early that night. With all that happened and your plans for tomorrow, you guys needed the beauty sleep.

At 6 o’clock on Sunday morning, you three left the hotel and started your adventure. Alice had looked up a really nice café for you guys to have breakfast at. She got some pancakes, Olivia got an omelet and you settled for a bagel.

“So where are we headed to first?” you asked before taking a sip of your tea.

“I really really really want to go to the walk of fame.” Olivia pleaded. “Can we please go there?”

“Of course Liv!” you smiled. “We’ll head there right after we’re finished eating.”

She squealed and clapped her hands, causing Alice to snort.

“You are too awake,” she mumbles, taking a forkful of pancake.

“Hey, don’t judge me. I’m just excited,” Olivia frowned.

“Oh, you know I love you,” Alice laid her head on Olivia’s shoulder. You quickly opened the camera app and snapped a pic.

You posted it on your Instagram with that caption:

i have the cutest friends ever… btw expect lots of pic today and tomorrow #sorrynotsorry

“Awwww, Al look at what Y/n posted. She’s so cute!” Olivia gave Alice her phone.

“She’s so sweet, let’s post one of her.”

You laughed, “No, please don’t.”

“Aw c’mon. You’re adorable babe.”

“Fine, but I get to approve the picture and caption,” you emphasized the and.

“Deal! Make a pose!”

You rested your elbows on the table and your chin on your hands, flashing the camera a small smile.

After a few moments of intense typing Alice handed you her phone, “Is that okay?”

Cannot thank @y/i/n enough for this trip. Love you lots babe xx

“You’re so sweet Al,” you handed her phone back to her.

“Alright, here’s the bill. Are you ladies all finished up here?” the waiter asked as he handed you the receipt.

“Yep!” Olivia smiled.

“Do you think I could get a to-go cup for my tea?” you asked.

“Of course,” he turned to walk away when he stopped. “I’m sorry to bother you. But are you guys from the UK?”

You three started laughing, “Yes, we are,” Alice answered.

“Oh my gosh, really? Would you mind if I ask you a few questions?” he instantly took a seat next to you.

“Of course not, whatcha wanna know?” you smiled.

“Is it always rainy?”

This caused you three to erupt in laughter yet again, but stopped when he frowned.

“Oh love, we’re not making fun of you. It’s just cute,” Liv placed a hand on his and smiled.

“But to answer your question, no. Sometimes it’s really nice out. But most of the time yes, it’s rainy.”

“It’s not even always rainy, just really cold.” You added.

“I’ve always wanted to go to London,” he sighed. “Is it worth taking a trip to?”

“I can’t answer that without bias, but I think coming here was definitely worth the trip. If that helps.”

He stood up, “Well my name’s Clayton.” He pulled out a piece of paper and began scribbling. “If you girls need anything, here’s my number. I’m free whenever after noon.”

“Well thank you Clayton. That means a lot,” you smiled.

~~

After that cute little meet up you girls grabbed an Uber and went to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was so much fun. You girls had races to see who could find this person first or who could find a ‘James’ or ‘Amy’ first. You may have looked crazy to others but you three knew it was all in good fun.

You were only here once, why wouldn’t you make the most of it?

After the Walk of Fame you three headed to any and every shop that the London didn’t have; which was a lot. You hit lots of clothes shops, make up shops, and so so many candy shops.

You picked up something for Alex and a few gifts for your mom. Alice got something for Brandon, but insisted it was for her friend that ‘you don’t know that well’. And Olivia, of course, got something for Sean.

After what felt like a lifetime you guys finally found an In-N-Out. You all had been craving it ever since Sabrina took you guys to it your first day in LA.

While you three munched on your burgers, you just chatted about anything and everything.

“What time is it?” Alice asked.

“Just past 11,” you clicked your phone shut. “So what’s next?”

“Honestly? I want to go back to the hotel and take a power nap,” Alice sighed, Olivia vigorously shaking her head in agreement.

“Okay, I’m down for a nap. Then the beach?”

They both smiled signally they were okay with that.

~~

“Wake me up at two,” Olivia sighed, falling onto her bed. You laughed and watched as Alice copied her movements.

You walked out to the balcony and sat up against the wall. You were tired, but you didn’t want to sleep. You didn’t want to miss anything LA had to offer.

You knew you shouldn’t have, but you texted Anth. It was a low blow honestly. But you were bored and didn’t have any clue as to what to do. You opened SnapChat and clicked his name.

You sent a simple selfie with a caption:

any fun activates you know of in LA?

You scrolled through Instagram while waiting for a response. You noticed Conor posted a new picture.

You knew it would hurt, but you couldn’t not look.

It was of him sitting of the edge of a bench, it was nighttime. He was facing away from the camera.

He captioned it:

C’mon LA, you have yet to let me down. Please don’t change that.

There were hundreds of comments that ranged from ‘ARMS’ to ‘why are you sad :(’ to ‘i hate when he doesn’t tell us what’s going on’.

You were hesitant, but ended up liking the picture anyways.

SnapChat from anth.melo

He sent a picture of him in front of a mirror of what seemed like a gym. You could see Conor on the side, but it was only an arm. You cringed at the fact that you knew it was Conor simply by an arm.

His snap read:

sorry y/n, kinda busy rn.

You sent another selfie with a frown:

okay, but we NEED to hang out soon. i leave in two days :(

You closed your phone and went back inside. After sliding off your shoes and plugging in your phone, you slid into your shared bed with Alice.

A few minutes of shot eye wouldn’t hurt.

~~

“Y/n!!!!” you heard someone shout.

You shot up from the pillow, “What?!” you shouted back, not having opened your eyes yet.

“Its 4:30!” a voice, you recognized as Alice sighed. “You had one job. One bloody job!”

“Oh, sorry. I fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm.”

“It’s okay, we can still go to the beach!” Olivia piped up from her spot in front of the mirror.

“I guess,” Alice sighed.

“Haven’t you always wanted to see a sunset on the beach?” you asked, getting out of the bed.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Let me check when sunset is.”

You bent down and grabbed your shoes.

“It’s at 6:04, should we invite anyone?” Alice asked.

“Like who?”

“Clayton!” Olivia jumped up. “Please invite him!”

You smiled, “Okay, I’ll invite him. But i can’t promise anything.”

You sent him a text that read:

Heading down to the beach to watch the sunset. Care to join us?

You sat your phone down and began braiding your hair.

“Did he text back?” Alice asked.

“Check my phone, I’m kind of busy.”

She stood up and walked over to where your phone was sat on the bed.

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing, but Anth texted snapped you.”

“You can open it up if you want,” you said, closing your eyes to focus on the pattern.

After a few seconds you heard a gasp, “What’s wrong?”

“Look! “Alice shoved your phone into your face. On the screen was a selfie of him and Conor and it read:

Okay, we’re free tomorrow

He was smiling and Conor was sporting his signature ‘kissy face/pout face’ look.

You stared until it disappeared, then you let out a sigh.

“What’d he mean by that?”

“I asked him if he wanted to hang out,” you said, sticking out your tongue as Alice snapped a picture.

“Oh, well.” She smiled, helping you up. “Looks like we got plans for tomorrow!”

You three changed into your swimsuits and packed a bag. You were going to go to the beach no matter what, Clayton being there was just a plus.

Your phone dinged and the girls sat, eyes wide; waiting for a response.

Of course! Meet me here in 10 minutes.

The link sent you to your Map app. There was a blue line from the hotel to a beach about 5 minutes away. Due to it being so close, you three decided to walk. As you left the hotel you sent him a quick text back.

see ya soon xx

~~

As usual Anth and Conor stayed up late doing whatever they do. Most of it was just joking around. But part of it, a very small part, was very deep.

“Mate, I gotta ask,” Anth sighed.

“I can’t answer it. I know what you’re going to ask. And I honestly don’t know. I was jealous and upset. I just-” he sighed, looking at Anth. “I messed up.”

“Well do you like her?” Anth asked hesitantly.

“Of course I do! I liked her before I met her. But I overthought everything. I assumed she didn’t like me, so I wanted to make her feel how I felt.”

“Do you want to be with her?” Anth questioned again.

“That’s the thing. Like, I don’t know her. But I want to. And I want to see what it could become, but I don’t want to give us a chance and it be awful and I have to break her heart again.”

Anth remained silent as Conor poured his feelings.

“I’m just so angry. At myself. But also her. And I know I have no right to be mad at her. But she’s just so perfect. And I want to hate her and just forget about her. But I can’t, because whenever I see a girl, I notice that she isn’t Y/n. But I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me. And I just want to punch myself, every time I remember what I did.”

Conor knew there was more to how he felt, he just wasn’t ready to admit it.

Anth stood up and put his hand on Conors shoulder, “Well, how about you sleep on it. And tomorrow we go to the gym; work out all the anger. Then afterwards, you can talk to Y/n.”

~~

Conor and Anth didn’t make it to the gym until a little before noon. Conor woke up to Jack spamming him. Jack lost the keys to his apartment so he begged Conor to tell him where his extra set was.

Conor really didn’t want Jack to be at his flat alone. Who knew what the kid would get up to? But after a few minutes of Jack begging (and almost crying, almost. it doesn’t count if the tear didn’t fall) Conor told him to message Alex.

After that, they were about to leave but then Anth realized he forgot that he planned to Skype his grandparents. Knowing he couldn’t let his friend not call them, Conor sat in the guest room while Anth chatted with his grandma and grandpa about various things.

After Anth’s grandma finally said goodbye, they headed to the gym. On their way they stopped to get juices.

“Mate, the Strawberry Mango is way better than the Green Machine,” Conor dragged on as he walked aside Anth.

“Stop playing dude, the Green Machine is the best!”

“You’re mad, y’know that right?”

“Nah man, you’re just stubborn.”

When they arrived at the gym, they both popped in their headphones and got to work on their preferred workout equipment.

Within the first thirty minutes, Anth could tell Conor was more upset than last night. He was lifting way more than his body could handle, but every time Anth would bring it up Conor would brush him off.

“Mate, your calves don’t need that much weight,” Anth chuckled, pulling out a headphone.

“Why come to the gym if you’re not going to push yourself?” Conor asked, standing up.

“If you say so,” Anth said, grabbing his phone to change the song. He scrolled through his notifications. He went to close it, but then he noticed your name. Why were you snapping him?

He walked over to Conor, opening the snap.

“Hey, look at this.”

Conor looked at the screen then turned around.

“So do you want to?” Anth followed him

“Not really,” he muttered.

“Okay,” was all Anth said. He sent a picture of him in front of the mirror.

A few seconds later Conor said, “I don’t know what to say yet. But tell her we’re free tomorrow.”

Anth just smiled. Conor was head over heels for you and him trying to hide it was so cute.