#i finished this at 6am so forgive me if it's bad lol

[gahye0n]

Candy Rings

pairing: siyeon / reader

word count: 1.7k

genre: angst, fluff

request: @chocolatemakeupbratzdoll asked → hi can you do a siyeon x idol reader where the reader is a billionaire and siyeon gets a lot of hate from the readers fans because the reader buys her a lot of stuff and a lot of fluff at the end please?

--

Excitement in every step, Siyeon fluttered around the room like a child with a sugar rush, never lingering in one place for too long. Bright green encompassing her face, the pixelated 'GAME OVER' written across the screen brought a pout to her lips. She turned towards you and you pressed your hands to either side of her cheeks, squishing them between your palms and wishing you could lean forward and kiss her frown away. Giggling behind your face mask, you intertwined your fingers with hers. “Let's go play something else, I'll go easy on you, promise.”

“You better not!” she warned, letting you take the lead as you weaved through the crowded room. A grin spread across your lips when you found the machine you were searching for, surprised and delighted that it was still there after all those years. Her dark eyes twinkled as she held the plastic gun and you could almost see the memory replaying in her mind. The smile that gradually brightened her face brought flashbacks of your own to fruition and you saw the visage of the girl you fell in love with so many years ago.

You almost missed that time, back when your life wasn't buzzing with managers and fans and tight schedules, back when you could have a lazy day by yourself – that was how you met Siyeon after all. The pretty stranger, with her faded jeans and worn out sneakers – similar to your own – and how she accidentally stole your heart in that little arcade still lingered sweetly in your memory. Neither of you could have imagined that when she slid into the booth beside you, picking up that beat up plastic gun and asking to join your game, that she'd become the love of your life one day.

“You better not go easy on me,” she reiterated, pointing the gun towards the screen. “I'm definitely going to win this time!”

“We'll see about that,” you challenged, raising your own weapon. Occasionally, she would glance over at your counter, whining when she noticed that your number was higher than hers. “You know, you'd do better if you paid attention to your own screen, babe.”

“You're totally cheating!” she accused with a stomp of her foot. “Look, you have more enemies to shoot than I do!”

You wouldn't have known whether her allegations were true or false, as you were not looking at your screen but, rather, the pout forming once more on her lips. Eyes doing a quick sweep of the room, you lowered your mask and pressed a quick kiss against them until you felt them curve into a smile. The timer buzzed as you pulled away, displaying that you'd finished with more points than her.

Teasingly, she stuck her tongue out and poked a finger against your side until you were squirming away from the slight tickle. “Cheater!”

You laughed, pulling your mask back up in the hopes no one had seen your face. “Me? I would never.”

She pointed towards the screen and then to her lips. “Then explain that.”

“Hm... I love you very very much and always want to see you smile?” She scrunched her nose at your cheesiness but made no more accusations. “However can I correct my terrible wrongdoing?”

She hummed thoughtfully before placing a hand against her stomach. “Food? You did say we were going out to eat earlier.”

“I did say that, didn't I?” You rubbed the back of your neck guiltily. “What do you feel like eating? Seafood? Steak? I'll buy whatever you like. It's getting pretty late, should I just call over Ms. Kim and have her cook for us at home?”

Siyeon chuckled at your babbling, intertwining her fingers with yours and leading you towards the adjoining food court. “How about chicken and cola?”

“Your wish is my command, beautiful.” Briefly, she swung your hand up to her lips and pressed them to the back of it, leaving a hint of sangria lipstick on your skin. Glancing over at her, you noticed her smug grin. “What are you scheming?”

“What? I'm not aloud to kiss you?” She played innocent, batting her lashes. When you narrowed your eyes, indicating towards the mark she left behind, she relented with a sigh. “I was hoping they'd realize we’re not interested in company.”

Peering behind you, you noticed the group you'd amassed, whispering to themselves and gesturing in your direction. Out of habit, you ducked your head down and pulled your hood closer to your face even though you were sure they’d already saw you.

“Excuse me!” one of them called and you suddenly wished you could have rented out the arcade beforehand. Sighing, you turned towards the voice. “Are you who we think?”

Donning a practiced smile, you finally removed the mask. “Maybe, are you a fan of mine?”

The small group bounced on their heels, excitement shaking their frames. One of them stepped forward, nervously fumbling with their phone. “Is it okay if I ask you for a picture?”

The rest of them chimed in behind him with a lilted 'me too' and you complied, shooting Siyeon an apologetic glance. Nearly blinded by the flash of their cameras, you finished their request before rushing back to her side. “I appreciate your support as my fans but I really have to g-”

“Isn't that your girlfriend? I read an article about the two of you last month.”

You swallowed thickly, unsure of which direction he was headed. You'd had a plethora of responses since the two of you went public, most were supportive but envy colored more than a few and, unfortunately, Siyeon took the brunt of it. “She is, I'm very much in love with her.”

He nodded silently, gaze settling on the diamonds lining her neck. Shifting uncomfortably, she clasped the top notch of her button-up in an attempt to hide the expensive jewels. “I'm glad you’re happy but you should be careful, people might take advantage of your status.”

Your smile faltered a bit as you barely managed to suppress the urge to roll your eyes. “You're not implying that she's using me for my money are you? Who do y-”

Siyeon's hand tightened against yours as she shook her head. “Thank you for being supportive of us, I hope you'll continue to be in the future too. Since you know so much about us, I'm sure you know we're very busy people so we have to be on our way.”

Her words were sweet yet sharper than anything you could have managed, and you followed her in stunned silence as she led you back to the gaming portion of the arcade. Stopping suddenly, you pouted. “You should have let me talk to them. I'm tired of them thinking they can talk about my girlfriend like that.”

Siyeon shook her head. “And what would they think about you? The sweet idol who cares so much about their fans, the royalty of fan service, telling them off? I'm not going to ruin your reputation like that.”

“What does that matter when the woman I love is being hurt by them?”

She hesitated a moment before shaking her head. “It doesn't bother me.”

Tears of frustration pricked your eyes. “You really think I didn’t notice? Ever since we went public, you've been refusing more and more of the things I try to buy you. Your sister called the first few nights and told me how you were crying. I even saw you reading their comments on the way here. Why do you think I brought you here to begin with?” you sniffled, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I just wanted tonight to be special.”

You thought about the fancy restaurant you'd rented out months prior in preparation for your proposal. You'd wanted to reveal your relationship after you'd proposed, yet you'd been caught red-handed. A flicker of hope tricked your heart into believing that, despite the exposure and jealous comments, you could still go through with your plans. In hindsight, you should have waited instead of letting the excitement and impatience rule your judgement.

The ring in your coat was an anchor, rows of diamonds sinking to the bottom of the blue velvet pocket. The only thing heavier was the look in her eyes as she switched off her phone and gazed blankly out of the car window. Afraid that she'd feel even more suffocated in such an expensive place, you asked your chauffeur to drive you to the opposite side of the city, to the arcade where you and Siyeon first met, yet it seemed to have ruined everything instead.

Wiping your tears, she drew you away from your straying thoughts. “It is special. You think my night was ruined because of some jealous fans? I've already forgotten them, and besides, there's still something you have to do.”

You tilted your head in curiosity and she giggled, wrapping an arm around you and leading you towards the vending machines at the back of the arcade. Fishing a coin out of her purse, she placed it in one of the candy machines, twisting the knob until a plastic sphere popped out of the dispenser. She pressed the container to your palm, closing your fingers around it before wrapping her hands around yours and leaning forward to kiss you.

“What was that for?” you whispered, mind annulled of all thoughts except the taste of her still lingering on your lips.

Bright specks of light twinkled in her eyes as she pretended to think. “Because I love you very very much and always want to see you smile?” She hummed and you breathed out a laugh at the sound of your own words. “Also, I was waiting for you to ask me something but that wasn't it, angel.”

Hands falling from your own, she gestured towards the ball still pressed to your palm. Popping open the lid, bewilderment swirled in your eyes at the sight of a candy ring. “You knew?”

“I'm not saying Gahyeon accidentally let the secret slip but...” You never thought you'd be thanking her for spoiling your proposal yet, you suddenly couldn't be more grateful. 

Bathed in pink and violet neon, Siyeon smiled sweetly and nothing felt more right in that moment than dropping to one knee and offering a ring of blue raspberry. “Lee Siyeon, will you marry me?”

[adhd-wifi]

So uh, someone sent me an ask about my opinions of the different adaptations of mdzs (and cql) but I accidentally deleted it. Anon pls forgive me. 

Anyways here’s the answer under a cut so I don’t spam anyone with my opinions (unless you wanna know I guess in which case thanks???) Warning: I got a little more into this than I probably should have. 

I’m just gonna do them in bullet points it’s just easier. At least while I’m on desktop lol.

The novel

It’s a really great read overall. I love the details and the comedic aspect of the story and characters really shines in the novel. However I can’t say all too much because I’m still actually struggling to finish reading it. 

The reason for this is because I actually...hate reading Chinese-To-English novels. Not saying the English fan-translation is bad, and in fact I think Exiled Rebels Scans did an amazing job with it (there are some nitpicks, but eh, they’re providing free content with no compensation they deserve all the praise regardless). I just hate it because, as a Chinese person, you tend to notice all the things that are lost in translation or things that just CAN’T be translated properly. I’m currently reading the Chinese version, but my Chinese reading isn’t great so it’s taking a while. 

The animation

My personal favourite, but mostly because I’m biased towards animation in general LMAO. It was also my starting point into the franchise. My friend, who I hadn’t seen in 10 months at that point, came to my house and made me watch the first two episodes. I finished the anime at like 6am from that same night. Safe to say I had fallen into hell. 

The only things I didn’t like about the anime was the fact that it was clearly rushed, which is why I’m okay with season 3 coming out in 2021, and the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE the censorships hit it and we’re not gonna be getting any on-screen gay. I mean the only scene that displayed this was the scene where WWX pretended to be attracted to LWJ to get JC off his back, but that scene was played off as him flirting with EVERYTHING on the basis that he was insane, but gay. So yeah, I’m not expecting gay but eh. 

Unpopular opinion, but anime!WWX has my favourite WWX voice. I love the audio drama/CQL voice, but I just love the playful notes of anime!WWX’s voice. 

The anime also amps the dramatic flair of literally everything up to 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. As much as I love the other adaptations, you can’t really beat the anime in terms of it being the drama queen of the adaptations. I love it. Also, it was therapeutic to see Wen Chao torn to shreds and beheaded the way it was done in the anime. 

The manhua

The manhua actually has my favourite art style of the adaptations, I like it even more so than the anime. Also props to them for making teen!WWX look different from Mo XuanYu (seriously, help me I’m a confused dumbass okay)

I’m...not a fan of the pacing. The pacing of the manhua for like the first few arcs was just so rushed and confusing, and because of the more comedic nature of the manhua as a whole, sometimes the seriousness of the scene just falls flat (e.g. the Mo Manor scene with the fierce corpses, it was so...dull). Then Yi City comes along and that arc alone seemed to last like 62 years. While I like the characters, I’m not a major fan of the arc itself, so I was mildly peeved. Oh well. 

The audio drama

To be fair, I’ve only heard like 3 episodes and several snippets of the audio drama. Mostly because I can’t find it. (I’m aware SuiBianSubs have it shared on their discord, but I’m scared of giant servers so I’m holding off on that unless I really can’t find it anywhere else.)

That being said, I really like the audio drama so far. I really, really like WWX’s voice actor here, and you can tell he’s really going ham with it while he was more restricted to match Xian Zhan in CQL. 

Anyways the audio drama version of WangXian is the best one don’t @ me.

The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (Warning: LONG)

Hhhhhh oh CQL, CQL, where do I even start with you?

See, I didn’t like the first one-third of the drama, and took like a month watching those bits, but then basically after WWX became the Yiling Patriarch I got really into it and basically finished like 30+ episodes in 3 days. 

I still don’t like several of the changes, and I’m not a fan of some of the directing decisions, because some of them just made little to no sense. I especially hated the fact that WWX wasn’t the founder of demonic cultivation, and instead it was some rando who was probably Xue Yang’s greatX12 grandfather. 

All that being said, I actually like the character writing THE MOST out of all the adaptions. Every single (named/significant) character was expanded upon, and it gave basically everyone more depth as characters (except I guess Wen RuoHan and Wen Xu, but no one likes them in CQL anyway so who cares). 

Basically, every character just felt so much more alive, and I’m not just saying that because it’s live people on screen. It’s that the actors really did wonderfully, bringing out the characters so vividly, and giving them more depth and building on their relationships. The little moments here and there, like JZX planting lotus plants for JYL There are some moments I’m just EH on (such as the changing of the moral scale for some *cough*MOST*cough* characters), but for the most part, I just found it so much easier to relate and feel for them. And as someone who doesn’t typically like watching live dramas (again, I just prefer anime), that meant a lot to me as a member of the audience.

I especially like how they handled Mianmian, I was EH at first to see her as a member of the Jin Sect, but in the end I really liked that. I mean, who can’t love a bitch who renounces her sect colours right in front of the then-most powerful man in the cultivation world? Also, the soup scene with JZX and JYL, I really liked that it was Mianmian who defended her instead of some nameless, faceless servant girl. It gave her more character, and built nicely on her relationship with JZX as his subordinate. Mianmian in MDZS was great, but she felt little more than a plot device to me. In CQL, she was actually a character, and thus made her actions more significant.

Listen I just have a lot of feelings for Mianmian considering she was the only named female character to survive the series and I have salt about that but I still like her so I’m glad CQL made it easier for me to like her

Welp I’m done rambling. If you didn’t get bored halfway and made it all the way down here, thanks for you time lol. I hope this was entertaining. :D Also, anon I hope you’re reading this. ^^;

[mubal4]

Noticing’s

 At this time, it is easy to get distracted.  There are certainly good distractions and there are bad distractions, ahem…..#TigerKing, and we will get to that in a minute. Instead of distractions, I am using the terms, “noticing’s,” well, because that is what I see these things as.  Over the last few days I have noticed quite a bit of strange & unusual things more than just the obvious stuff.  I wanted to throw a distraction into the blog and steer away from what has been encompassing us and share some of these “noticing’s.” But, what I really wanted to do is through some humor out there and have a few laughs.  There may be some areas that seem like me on my soapbox, and maybe it is but it is again, just what I’ve noticed and I am reporting those findings 😊!!  

 First off, I love getting out to the trails with my wife Robin.  Again, would love to have the girls join us but 6am hike on a Saturday morning for 2 teenagers isn’t something that is on their radar 😉!  The pictures included here are all from our hike/run at Elephant Mountain up in Cave Creek, AZ.  Been hearing a lot of this loop and the views.  I tried to get up there a couple of weeks ago but the rains we had washed out all the river crossings.  This past Saturday I decided to head up and Robin wanted to join me.  About an hour in she may have been second guessing that decision 😊.  It is a tough trial, both uphill’s and downhills are challenging and incredibly technical.  But the views, well, you can see some of them, they were stunning.  Definitely a new area that I will be adventuring to more often.

 While on the topics of the trials (soapbox #1), this virus must have caused people to lose their trail etiquette, as well as general counting & number skills. I don’t know, maybe we have parts of AZ that are transitioning to the metric system and have lost the understanding of what 6 feet means? Maybe they think it is really 6 meters? Also, groups of 10 doesn’t mean groups of 20.  When you have a group of 5-6 people on a trail and you are made aware of people passing you “ON THE LEFT,” get your ass as far to the right as possible.  That goes the same for people you are approaching; move as far over to the right as possible or even step off the trail if you can.  I understand these are different times but Christ folks, pay attention.  Okay, moving on from there and I will say the trail run I did yesterday the people were much better.  I will just chalk it up for us all adjusting and adopting the new ways of life right now. Patience is key right?

 These times have certainly changed what our trip to the grocery store looks like.  Once again, outside of the obvious things, but we went from tons of fruits and veggies to incredibly amounts of processed carbs and red meat.  Oh, and beer, lots of beer.  Seriously, I need to start social distancing myself from the fridge. We keep telling ourselves that we will start a cleanse on Monday, but we are just not identifying what Monday at this time 😊.  Interestingly enough though, I am still feeling good on my runs and staying consistent. That said though, my feeling is the big race I have on the calendar for July will likely be canceled or postponed. Most ultramarathon’s and races in general, are being canceled or postponed, good for them too, so like most things, we will wait and see how things play out over the next few months. Whatever the case, with all this stuff now, we have a few ideas and plans up our sleeve. At least for this week though, cereal, pasta, bread, chips are continuing to be consumed along with copious amounts of beer!!  We are making a lot of stuff from scratch though and grilling out more which is fun. What is sort of disturbing with this dietary change though, our groceries are noticeably less expensive!!! Scary!  We did decide that this is the last week and next Monday we will begin our cleanse………. stay tune for that – LOL!

 Even though we are throwing a bunch of nonsense in our heads we are all staying consistent with exercise.  I am so proud of our daughters for getting their “required” workouts in each day.  It is cool to see them get their stuff in at the house.  Also, Robin started “teaching from home” today; ironically, as she was gearing things up to start, we got an announcement that school is cancelled for the rest of this year so everything will be done online.  This morning was pretty cool though, as I was on and off conference calls myself in my office, Robin, who set up shop about 30 feet away from me in our “dinning room,” was having classes with her kids.  I listened in to some of the conversations and 1) it was awesome to experience the engagement and relationships she has with her students.  2) It was also incredibly funny hearing them working to adjust to the new way of things.  They are leveraging WebEx for classes so getting use to turning on/off mute, the camera feature, and adjusting to new technology was cute to listen in on.  I did hear a couple “haven’t been doing too much the last 2 weeks and this is really early to start.”  Not ideal for many of us these days but I am certainly getting some laughs out of this.  While this was all going on, both daughters were in their rooms getting their online learning in as well.  Shockingly, Alaina, our soon to be 14-year-old, felt being in school would be much more organized and actually said, “yes, I would rather be in school.” That warmed my heart 😊.  I am going to refer to this blog come next year when the “I don’t want to go to school today” comes up!!  

 Strangely enough, I am not going through withdrawal from sports.  Sure, it would have been great to see the NCAA Wrestling Championships, March Madness, and the start of baseball happening right now, but well, it pains me to say a bit, but they are distractions.  Of course, they are but what I mean is that they have distracted us (Robin, the girls, and I) from spending time together.  Robin and I were having this conversation yesterday and I did note that this would have been different if it was college football season. I would be likely sitting on the TV watching replays of any college football game I can get my hands on and again, consuming large amounts of beer. 😊  Now, not so much.  We’ve been enjoying games of Ping-Pong and delving into new shows.  Alaina got Robin sucked into Stranger Things and I would be lying to you if I haven’t enjoyed a few minutes of it 😊. However, I am, like much of what I’ve been learning out there, drawn into and captivated by the disturbing ridiculousness of the Tiger King documentary on Netflix.  Holy shit!  I think it was on Friday, as a couple of my buddies and I were checking in on each other, that they suggested I tune into it.  It was described as a complete train wreck that is alarmingly hilarious. After asking what it was about, I respectfully declined but they kept sharing little nuggets with me.  Then on Saturday, our oldest Isabella, after watching the first episode, said we have to watch this today.  I told her that I wouldn’t “waste my time with that nonsense” but she was telling how much I would like it.  So, Saturday afternoon we watched the first episode and I immediately felt dumber from the experience.  

 Dramatic Pause!!!!!

 As I began to get dinner started, Robin, once again sucked into another show, wanted to watch the 2nd episode, so we did and then all shit fell apart and I was sucked in myself.  So much so that we finished the rest of the episodes on Sunday.  What a shit show but freeking hilarious. Talk about a distraction from what his happening throughout the world.  The timing couldn’t have been better for these guys &, if want some extra added humor, go to Facebook or Twitter and search for #tigerking. The comedy scale is meteoric.  

 I know there will be folks out there that will take umbrage with others making light of things.  My comments to them, “lighten up.” I think we all understand the severity of what is happening throughout the world but that doesn’t mean we can have laughter, distractions, and “notice” things.  We are living in a time when much of what we are doing right now is unnatural.  We are all adjusting to what is a new way of living and it is taking time to create those new routines.  I don’t believe all hell is breaking lose or anything like that.  Yes, my actions are not characteristic but there are also things that I am staying consistent with.  

 There are several things that I am doing that aren’t typical for me.  That’s okay. I will forgive myself.  I will transition back to my everyday routines, and things will be just fine. We will figure this shit out and in the meantime, if I want to soak in some Joe Exotic for a laugh or two and suck down a few beers and a steak at the same time, I am going to do.  And yes, then I will get up and run 15 miles the next day.

 Let’s do our part to stay safe, stay well, and lighten up a bit; this shit won’t last forever. 😊

[2spry]

Minnesota Voyageur 50 Race Recap!

Running your first Ultra is such a journey, so I am going to start from the beginning. Forgive me if this is a little long. I’ll try and keep it as short as I can. :)

I had been eyeing the Minnesota Voyageur for a bit, but wasn’t sure if it was going to work out with summer schedules. I decided since I didn’t know, it was better to back off of training rather than to run myself into a rut. Ha! If I had only known that it would work out… hindsight is 20/20. So when I clicked the register button one hour before the online registration deadline, I knew that I was completely under trained, which helped me be resigned to the fact that I may not finish. I had less than 48 hours before I would be picking up my race packet and heading out for the pre-race ritual of a good pasta meal. 

The Day Before Race Day

What a crazy day… I spent the morning running around town trying to pick up last minute things like salt tabs, gels, snacks, etc for the race so I had multiple options if my stomach went south. My friend Hannah was making awesome homemade bars as well so I would be set! Then it was just waiting time for my husband to be able to leave from work. We took off mid afternoon with a 4.5 hour drive ahead of us which wasn’t bad. We hit Bemidji and the truck started to make a loud clicking. Classic… It never fails that something goes wrong with our cars during road trips. After pulling over to check, it sounded like the AC was going out. Not a good thing when its supposed to be blazing hot during your race. But at least everything else was ok so on we went, hoping it would last until after the race.

We made it to packet pickup with a few minutes to spare, got my shirt and race bag, walked around a bit, and headed to Duluth for pasta dinner. Everything in town was packed!!! We had to wait an hour to eat and my head was pounding. Great, I thought, nothing like getting a mild migraine the night before your race. I hoped it would go away after dinner but I wasn’t so lucky. Dinner was excellent though and the view was beautiful. We finally got to the hotel and I started to put all my stuff together, getting to sleep around midnight. An hour later my head was just insane! I got up to take an advil and tried to lay down again. All in all I probably got 2hours of sleep.

Race Day

3:30 alarm! Head still pounding. Nothing I could do except get up and get moving. Shower, get ready, make my staple bulletproof coffee, and off to the race! I really didn’t have time to think. I was super nervous and excited, but a little concerned about my headache. I just hoped it would go away. We arrived, parked, and stopped to pray for the day. There were a ton of people and a lot of repeat racers. Some have done it over 10 times and I believe up to 30!!! After the announcements it was just a few minutes before we were off and running.

It was 6am and into the woods we went! I stuck myself smack dab in the middle of the pack and was just listening to everyone talk. Then I heard someone yell “I just made it to 10,000 steps!!! Woohoo!” and everyone started to laugh.

Hurry up and wait. We were all in a single file line on a narrow rocky trail with nowhere to go. This actually lasted awhile and would happen again. I thought to myself, this is probably good so I don’t go out too fast. I looked down at my watch and noticed that it was not keeping track of miles or pace correctly at all. When I got to the first aid station my watch said 1.18 miles where it was supposed to be 3.44. Uh oh. I knew then that I would not have any pace or mileage for the rest of the day. So I just kept track of the time to get to the zoo to make cut off.

At this point I had not used my sunglasses at all and put them on top of my head. Big mistake. As we were crossing the river, they fell off, then I fell into the river after them. LOL! It was a refreshing cool off and I had a good laugh. First fall down, more to go I was sure. I had to pass off my phone though since it had gotten wet which meant no music. Bummer.

I’m not going to go through every section, but I do want to talk about the infamous power lines. I tried to read all about the race before I went, and everyone talked about them. Super steep, super hot, really muddy, etc. All of it was correct. You could literally stand, reach out touch the hill. After making it through this, I knew going back in the heat of the day would be quite interesting and brutal.

I’d finally made it to a runnable section so I took off. Just a few seconds later I was sprawled out on the trail! Fall number two! I had clipped a taller rock and went down. Took a second to make sure I wasn’t injured, got up with a few scrapes and bruises, dusted myself off and kept on truckin’! Falling is just par for the course in trail running, and honestly it is a fear of mine when going downhill. So having two falls and being ok really helped me to relax a bit. Sounds strange but it did.

I made it to the ZOO turnaround in 5hrs 39 min. YES! This was well before the cut off, but I had to pee so incredibly bad. I knew there were bathrooms somewhere, but had no idea I’d have to run a quarter mile to get to them! Should’ve gone in the woods. Oh well, I handed off my water bottles to get filled by my amazing crew, and trotted off. Came back, downed a bunch of salted watermelon, oranges, and a couple small bars. This aid station stop was by far the longest of the day at 30min, so next time the woods it is! Oh, and my headache was still there, just slightly better.

Nausea was setting in. My flavored water just became completely unsatisfying and was making me feel sick. Part of this was because it was so warm. I tried adding ice to it but it was too late. The flavor just wasn’t cutting it. Thankfully my crew brought me an aloe drink! My salvation! I drank half of it and then went to try some coke and took an electrolyte pill. It all went down great! So I grabbed my 2 ice cups, put one down the sports bra and one in my hat and off I went! (this was my ritual for staying cool at almost every aid station btw). I started feeling better within minutes. Thank goodness! At the next aid station my color was back, and nausea was gone. I finished the rest of the aloe drink, had some more coke, salted watermelon, and pickles. Weird combo I know, but it worked! Also, my headache finally dissipated, only took over 7 hrs!

I was pumped to be going into the power line section feeling good because I already knew what I was in for, and it was going to be even hotter! Chaffing was becoming an issue though. It was really bad and I felt it with every step. I just hoped I could deal with it the rest of the race. I was so soaked that the body glide wasn’t working anymore. (I cannot imagine how bad it would have been had I not used it though.) Guess I’ll just have to grin an bare it. Power lines here I come!

I thought for sure I was going to lose about three toenails the downhills were so steep! I was being overly cautious because if you fall your going all the way down. There is nothing to grab on to. Thankfully I made it through quicker than I thought, but I got really really hot. From my ice ritual to water being poured down my back, I was able to cool down a bit before heading off again. 10 miles to go.

Oh no… the nausea was coming back and we were hitting the road section. Ugh… the road felt like a thousand needles going through my feet!!! I was so thankful when I hit the trail again, amazing what a difference pavement felt like. I really slowed down here which I wasn’t happy about, but I just kept thinking “your only goal was to finish and you are going to do it!”

I hit the second to last aid station and I told my husband I wasn’t feeling good again and he could tell. I tried everything from gummy worms, to coke, ginger ale, salted watermelon, pickles and pickle juice, but it was my B-Line energy gel that ended up helping the most. It was another longer stop, but at this point I knew I was going to make it and I didn’t want to be stupid and do something that would compromise that. So I fueled the best I could and headed out.

It took awhile to feel better and I really didn’t begin to until I hit the last aid station. Again, I was really thankful for this as the last 3.4 miles are super rocky, rooty, and difficult. I had heard of people having to drop due to rolled ankles so I took my time. I did not want to DNF with only a few miles to go. I began to get a second wind and was able to start moving faster. I came to the final stretch of road and asked how far I had left, only a half mile! I couldn’t believe it! I picked up the pace and rolled out! I rounded the final corner to see the finish line. I heard someone say “remember this moment!” Remember this moment I would. I had a huge smile on my face and was fighting back tears. When I crossed the finish line I heard a volunteer say “that smile says it all”. Yes it does. I had finished. My husband, my friend, and the pups were all waiting for me. I didn’t know what to say. I was without words. Speechless isn’t something I thought I would be. I have seen many ultra finishes and many different emotions. You will never know how you will feel until you do it. I thank the Lord for the ability to be able to run and to have been lucky enough to experience an ultramarathon. Right away I knew I would do another in a heartbeat and was sad it was over. 12hrs 22min and change.

Post Race

I was absolutely filthy and drenched! So I hit the showers. I was already having difficulty walking to to horrible chaffing, but I had no idea just how bad it was. IT WAS VERY BAD! I was racking my brain on what in the world I was going to do. I can’t even hardly take a step and oh the burning!!! I hobbled very slowly back to our spot on the grass to watch the rest of the finishers come in. I asked for help getting the pasta dinner from Hannah because it would have taken me forever to go there and back, plus I was starting to not feel very good. I needed food. So I sat and ate slowly while hanging out with my peeps and fur babies. I tried to shift positions and I thought how am I going to do this!!! Then an idea… Desitin cream! I gotta get to a drug store.

We didn’t book a hotel that night because we thought we would drive back. Unfortunately none of us really got any sleep the night before and the fatigue was setting in. So we called all around the area and everything was booked. Ugh… we got up, and slowly walked to the pickup. Well I slowly walked to the pickup. LOL! We drove to the grocery store, got Desitin and hit up a gas station. I walked as best I could to the bathroom with some pretty hilarious stares. Destin cream to the rescue! And rescue me it did. I don’t know what I would have done without it. Side note… don’t get it on your clothes. It is difficult to near impossible to get out!

We drove out of Duluth and guess what… the AC broke! So glad it lasted during the race or it would have been a miserable time for my crew and the pups! We kept calling hotels to see if we could get a cancellation along the way home. We actually finally found one about an hour from Bemidji. SLEEP was calling all our names. I still couldn’t believe it was over, but I was excited to find another ultra to do and apply what I had learned to training and racing. Until next time…

***Huge thanks to all the volunteers and fans at the race. You guys rocked! My crew was so amazing I really don’t have words. They were so on top of it and I cannot thank them enough. A shout out to my peeps at Jaybird Sport and Road Runner Sports for their support and supplying of amazing gear for both training and racing, to Altra running and Injinji for keeping my feet happy, to Salomon for making a race vest that doesn’t bounce or chafe, and to Os1st for their arm sleeve protection! I feel so blessed to have been able to run this race and cannot wait to try another… maybe even further!

Your Running Friend,

Trish

[laurintheuk-blog]

October 21st, 2017

Hello!

Today was a big day! I had set an alarm for 5am in order to get ready and catch my cab to Leicester Station at 6am. My train to Bath was at 06:49 but I wanted to give myself enough time to get situated and know where I am going before getting onto the train. I went yesterday after school to the station to retrieve my tickets so I didn’t have to worry about them in the morning, however I underestimated the length of time it would take to drive to the station and I was VERY early. I guessed the cab ride would take 15-20 minutes but it ended up taking less than 10... it didn’t help that I was 5 minutes early to my cab so I got to the station at 6:03am LOL. I just stood and waited and watched as other people retrieved their tickets and headed off to the earlier trains. When it was time to catch mine, I got on just fine and grabbed a seat. It wasn’t busy at all so it was nice! I had an hour ride to Birmingham New Street where I had to make a change, but had 25 minutes between each train to find my next platform so I wasn’t too worried. I got off the train and found my next platform just fine again haha. Waited for a bit and caught my next train. This time we had assigned seats and I was originally assigned an aisle seat which I was kind of disappointed about, but it was a nice surprise when I got on the train and saw that the woman who was supposed to have the window seat actually put claim to my seat so I was able to take the window haha :). I had about 1h20mins before my stop where I had to make my second change to catch the final train of my journey. When I got to Bristol Temple Meads I had about 10mins between trains to find my platform and when I got there, the train was already very busy! I was able to snag a seat though so I was happy about that :) This train was only about 15mins to Bath. 

When I arrived in Bath it was just past 10am and I headed straight to the Roman Baths. I navigated my way to the city centre from the train station seamlessly! (I was pretty proud of myself ahah). When I got to the baths I was very lucky, it wasn’t busy at all yet so I took less time in them than I allocated time for. They were really cool! Just as I was wrapping up the tour inside of the building, a woman who works for the Roman Baths announced that she was about to start a walking tour of them. I decided to tag along and she walked us all through and around the baths, telling us what each room was used for. After she finished I took a few last pictures and headed out. All together I probably spent about just over 2 hours in the baths. 

When I got out and chose a random direction and started to walk. I came across the Thermae Spa (which is like the modernized bath/spa) and people were lined out the door! I continued to walk to see what I could come across, but it was VERY cold and I decided to go to Primark to buy a cheap scarf (Primark was right across from the Thermae Spa so it was easy to find LOL). When I got to Primark I found a huge blanket scarf for 4 pounds so I was very excited about that haha. I also came across a pair of light mitts for only 2 pounds that I decided to get too because my hands were freezing! I thought about wearing a scarf in the morning, but since I have had a fever with this flu I didn’t want to be super hot with it and end up just carrying it... I didn’t mind buying the new scarf and mitts though because they are something I will use again and again. 

When I left Primark I headed back in the direction I started walking aimlessly in. I took all kinds of pictures and came across this secret stairway that led me down to the other side of the river. I was excited about this because I wanted to go to Prior Park, but in order to do so I needed to cross the river. I headed in the direction of the Park and walked along the riverfront which was really nice! Unfortunately it lead me way out of the city and on my map it appeared that I was still very far from the park so I decided to turn around because I was worried that I would completely lose my bearings. I walked back along the riverfront walkway and went up a different set of secret stairs that lead me back to the other side of the river. At some point in my walking I reached Pulteney Bridge which is the famous bridge that Jean Valjean jumped off of in Les Mis. I continued walking and reached the other side of the city. By about 1:30pm I was getting quite hungry so since I was freezing and wanted a tea I went to Pret a Manger to see what kind of sandwiches they have. Unfortunately they didn’t have anything that really seemed appealing so I left and decided to go to Subway. To be honest my sub didn’t taste very good, but it filled the hole in my stomach so I can’t complain.

After lunch I walked around for a bit more but I felt like I had seen everything I wanted to see shortly after. Since it was so cold I started to just walk into random stores to browse (and get out of the cold for a few minutes LOL). I came across a different Pret a Manger along my travels and decided to go in for a tea. I sat and drank my tea and watched all the bustle outside through the window. After tea time I decided to go people watch some more on a bench in between The Roman Baths and Bath Abbey. There was a lady who came to perform her singing and a guy after her who came and played the trumpet. I was surprised at how many homeless people there were... and they all seemed to have dogs too. Additionally, there were a lot of pigeons and they were fearless! They were getting so close to me I was getting annoyed LOL. 

I wanted to go into Bath Abbey, but wasn’t sure how much it would be and I felt bad walking into a church and then walking out because of the price so I didn’t plan on going in at all. I was then talking to Rachel and she asked if I went into it yet... I told her my issue and when she said she thinks she only paid 2 pounds I decided to go check it out. I walked in a door (which I thought was the entrance) but turns out it was actually the shop that the exit lead into... I realized this however when I was inside the cathedral and saw a separate door people were walking in from. Boy did I feel bad... not only did I cheat the system, but I cheated the system with a church (Grandma put me in your prayer book and ask The Lord to forgive me). The inside of the Abbey was beautiful! It was cool to see people buried in the ground with their tombs as the floor.

After leaving the Abbey I decided to walk back to Pulteney Bridge to get a better picture of it since I saw that the one I originally took was pretty close up. At this point the wind started to really pick up (although it was very windy all day) and I felt like I was about to be blown away... at times it was difficult to walk LOL. I was worried that the wind would take my phone as I was holding it up to take a picture. It wasn’t before long that the rain hit so I decided to head back to the train station. It was just before 4:30pm at this time and although I didn’t really want to go sit in the station for an hour, the rain was coming down harder and I didn’t want to be out in it anymore. I got to the station, put claim to a bench and sat and went through my pictures. 

Despite my train being 8 minutes late, the wait in the station didn’t feel long. I started to worry though about my delay because I had to make a change for another train from the one I was waiting for and I only had 10 minutes between each train to make it to my next platform. Sooner or later the train I was waiting for came and once again I got on just fine haha. I made it to my next stop (Bristol Temple Meads) but having an 8 minute delay only gave me 2 minutes to make it to my next platform. I had an idea of which platform I would need to go to (thanks to the Trainline app, I had been using all morning too haha) so when I got off I just needed to quickly confirm and head there. Luckily enough, although I got there 1 minute before my train was scheduled to leave, the train wasn’t there yet so I guess they had a couple minutes delay too. When it came shortly after, I got on and relaxed for a bit before my next stop at Birmingham New Street to make my final change. When I got the Birmingham I had a longer wait but the train was already there so I just got on and put claim to a seat. Good thing I did because it filled up quick haha. I was happy to be on my final train where I could just kick back completely without having to worry about a stop because Leicester was the last one :)

 When I got back to Leicester I made it back in perfect time. My train arrived just before 9pm and the next bus was coming at 9:05pm so I didn’t have to wait long at all. I probably could have caught a sooner bus actually, but the one I waited for dropped me off at the bus stop right outside of my house, whereas the other one I would have caught would have dropped me off a 10 minute walk away. When I got off the bus it was even more perfect timing because Ellie, her cousin and her friend were just crossing the street coming back to our house after going to the Village Hub. I talked and caught up with them for a bit before heading back to my room and heading to bed for the night.

                                                                 Xoxo,

                                                                 Lauren 

P.s. I am feeling much better than I had been last week. I just have a really annoying cough now because every time I breathe in my chest feels very constricted so I am continuously coughing.

[traceandsee]

on the ball, last straw

Early in the morning grind. 6am. I went to thy designer to see if my gown is ready for thy le masque ball. Opted for a princess-y ball gown with a balabal thing for cover up. Final fitting and hey, my deyms are sticking out.

Balabal= No help at  all. Alterations ora mismo!!

Internship check in: 8:30. Check out: 12:00. I asked my friend to accompany me at sb coz I’ve been this dang addicted to their Macadami cookie. Knowing that my friend haven’t tried any sb treat, I’ve decided to surprise her. She said that she wants to try them blueberry cheesecake but she can’t buy it coz she’s saving. So yeah, I asked her to sit down. Purchased a drink, my cookie and that damn cheesecake. As we exit sb, I saw her glancing for the last time over that dang cheesecake. Inside my head I was like, “surprise mothafucka, wait until we get into the cab.” Then yeah, we got into the cab. Handed her the paper bag. And she inspected it. Smelled it. Opened it. And she literally cried. Like happy tears were coming out of her eyes. HAHAHAHA. LOL

So yeah, we arrived at tipol around 2. We have to wait until 4pm for them make-up artists to arrive. And tadah, filipino time, they arrived around 4:30. I got my hair fixed first while thy sb friend had her make up done. Then thy blockmates saw thy make-up artist and they’re like, “Oooh, pwede ako next?” I was like “sure. my hair’s just half way done pa naman.” And yeah, the artist finished them hair by 5:30. And bro, the ball starts at 6... I dont have my make up on..... So yeah, I sat down around 6:30 for them make up. And I am so late for them ball. Good thing, the president of the student government is with us, and a plus factor that she’s the girlfriend of them psych society preseident (talk about relationship goals) LOL so yeah, we went to the plaza around 7:30 and went directly to the buffet table. We were starving lels

APPRECIATION POST (them constants throughout my college year)

PARDS.  Since IDH a solo pic with them pards. Forgive meeee. TyG for making thy university co-ed the moment we enrolled. Having guys around us made us more grounded, plus less drama. Well, in our case. Hey there pards, Arj! (Beatrix’s not pleased at all. LOL)

NRR . Hola mi amigas. They are like my second and third friend since first year!!! Yay, we’ve been on each other’s asses since circa ‘13. Thank you for a less drama friendship! So yeah... Trying to take a decent photo with thy thesismates NRR (Navarro-Roca-Romano.)  And suddenly, someone greeted me from afar so I’ve decided to stick them nasty tongue out as a response. Talk about perfect timing, eh?

MAHAROTS of QC. Curiosity killed the cat - what we always say when someone did something that’s soooooo out of the usual. Like something dumb or something.......... dirty. LOL. Them friends who kept me sane. Knows all of my flaws, “almost” all of them dirty & trashy little secrets, gives me advice abt the birds and the bees (LOL kiddin) Thank you for making me realize that it is sooooo dang normal and okay to feel nothing or everything at once. Ride or die.

BESHIES. Lunchmates since ‘13. We’ve literally been through a lot. We’ve got into a lot of fights, unfriended a couple ones, and even spreaed humors about someone. (LOL we’re totally over that) We only got limited time to decide on where we should eat lunch  these remaining days, make sure our cravings will be satisfied. Oooh, oh! Friends that eat together, get fat together. So yeah, maybe that’s the reason why each of us gained 25llbs. Lels. Road to fitness starts  after  graduation. Hopefully!

OBREROS. (Incomplete tho) (Plus talk about bad angle. LOL but my skin’s lit here lol.) My amigas, my chikas, the one who I can talk to about almost anything. The people who makes  me soooooo happy everything I’m at tipol. The one who makes white lies whenever anyone from the group is absent. (hehe thanks) Thy protector, thy friends,  thy forever. (Yiee, cheesy.)

PSYCHOLOGY SOCIETY ‘16-’17 OFFICERS WITH OUR DEAN.

Thank you for your undying energy, officers. Thy society became so active this past shool year, all because of  us!!! Also, thank you to them ever so supportive and energetic Dean, Dr. Lai! Them psych  soc is so hyped because of your enthusiasm and vibe the lights up the whole room. Good  luck to them next batch of officers. Future ates and kuyas of psych soc. (Who happen to be my ates and kuyas now. Coz I started school early lels)

COLLEGE LIFE WOULDN’T BE THE SAME WITHOUT THEM CONSTANTS. Next step: GRADUATION. Ball is in our court, let’s make it happen!

[reaperseal-archive]

Just current mundane life rambles lol

During the past week I’ve felt really exhausted even when I’ve slept for like 12 hours and I guess it’s a mixture of GAD and depression but I was also off of my iron supplements for a few months and I guess i’m probably anemic again. 

For some reason iron just doesn’t stay in my system so I’ve been on and off supplements pretty much my entire life and no doctor has ever told me why the problem never stays fixed. So i’m on my heavy duty expensive meds again and hopefully within the next couple of weeks I feel better.

I’ve also felt anxious, not in like a horrible awful way but in a “there’s nothing to do” kind of way. Like everything is boring and I just want to lay in bed and stare at a wall. As depressing as that sounds I don’t mean it that way at all i’m not really sad or super happy i’m just kinda meh with any activity i’d normally participate in.

I also attribute the boredom to the fact that i’m unemployed and really stressed because I’ve handed out 50+ resumes since I graduated in like the first week of October. I got an interview but wasn’t hired bc the other chick they interviewed already had experience with the same company. I also worked in housekeeping for a little bit but I got less than 10 hours/week and dwindling and I really hated it so I quit. Obviously it’s been hard to get a job because the town I live in is seasonal and low end minimum wage jobs that have good hours are either already taken or only hired for in the spring/early summer.

Like before I was afraid of working as a waitress or cashier but i’d literally take anything with at least 20 hours a week. I’ve even considered getting my liquor license and applying to all the bars in town.

I could deal with an emotionally and physically exhausting horrible job that makes me miserable as long as i’m making that mad $$$$$. I’m kind of disappointed in myself for not being able to get a job for this long but I know it’s not my fault at all since I’ve been giving it so much effort. It’s a small town and people usually get jobs through connections. I even applied for some sophisticated office assistant positions, but of course I didn’t get it because someone with an administrative degree probably applied.

I know that this summer will be amazing and i’m just getting so antsy waiting to get a job and start going outside more when it’s warm.. I’ll be making money and i’ll actually be able to start moving forward in my life saving up for whatever college course I wanna take in the future, for a car, art supplies, being able to treat myself and buy my own damn shampoo instead of feeling guilty that my parents still have to 100% take care of me.

Part of me is scared that I won’t actually get a job during hiring season but that’s literally impossible because I’ll be applying EVERYWHERE for full time and part time. Bbbbut that little voice in my head will convince me of failure even over things that have like a 0.0000000000001% chance of happening.

Tomorrow I have a phone interview with mental health intake so I can get into adult therapy. Even though my life is a lot better and my mind is a lot clearer than it was a year ago, my anxiety still creeps up and I find myself making problems in my head out of nothing and i’m just. Wondering if i’m a bad person, if everyone hates me, if I suck, if i’m a gigantic failure, if my art will never get better, etc constantly. Stupid shit that I know is all wrong but I can never get my mind to shut up. There’s nothing wrong going on in my life other than my job struggles but it’s like I have to find something to obsess over, a reason to beat myself up... Ick.

I’ve set a goal that when I get into therapy i’m actually going to stay in therapy. No more “I feel better, I don’t need it anymore!” Because I always end up falling down again after I thought I had everything under control. And maybe this time if i’m recommended I should be on meds, i’ll actually give them a try instead of taking them for a few days and being convinced that i’d never need them.

Other 2017 goals include;

Draw more (More specifically draw for at least 20 mins every day)

Get my license when the snow melts (Also learn to parallel park first that’s the only thing I haven’t learned and that’s why I don’t have my license)

Learn how to take care of my skin better (Try new products, actually taKE OFF MY MAKEUP BEFORE I GO TO BED!!!!)

Read more

I want to try to eat better, not in the “Hurr hurr i’m vegan/gluten-free/vegetarian/organic” way, but having more balance and eating more meat and fruit because i’m aDDICTED TO CARBS AND VEGGIES AND JUNK. For some reason I just don’t really like meat.. i’m not a vegan or morally against eating meat, It’s literally just not my favorite taste/texture in the world.

Continue waking up early in the morning

Write in my (physical) journal more often

Continue to grow my hair out and keep it healthy

Nipple piercings (hopefully)

First tattoo (hopefully)

Push myself to socialize with more people

Quit smoking

Continue molding myself into the person I want to be

Give my boyfriend a bajillion trillion kisses and do SO MANY FUN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of molding myself into the person I want to be, I’ve already changed a lot since the legitimate end of my grade 12 year (June 2016). I’m more confident, i’m a lot more mature, I ended a relationship in which the both of us brought the worst out of each other, I’ve ended many friendships that were just unhealthy, I think a lot more clearly, I have an inkling of Adult Responsibility, I no longer give the people who hurt me a voice, I’ve gotten better at forgiving myself for my mistakes, i’m in a relationship that makes me so happy I can’t explain in the English language how much he means to me. If I could reach into the sky and pluck the stars for him I would. Waking up next to him, just SEEING him after a couple days of not seeing him makes my heart blossom and have a mini fireworks show. He still gives me butterflies. I love everything about him!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m a lot more independent than I used to be, which I attribute to higher self-esteem and just kicking my anxiety to the curb. I don’t really stay up late anymore like I used to (Until like 6am lmao) and I actually really enjoy mornings now.

But yeah all in all I just don’t feel so lost anymore? Of course I still do, but in different aspects.. Before I felt like my life was dead-ending and I had nowhere to go and that i’d never finish high school or get anywhere in life, but now I see beyond that since I finished high school. Now i’m lost more in the career world, i’m scared of how much more growing up I’ve got to do for the years to come. And of course I still struggle with GAD.

If you read this entire thing i’m amazed right now lol. I think i’ll do these little journal entries to the internet more often, they can be anywhere from super short to super long though.