#i finished the fic i've been working on for like a month :3
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bharv · 1 day ago
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2024: My year in writing
Inspired by the incredible @rowanisawriter, I thought I would look back at my year in writing. I thought I might do a bit more fic this year but I think I'm done - partly because I'm also writing original work!
Last year I wrote just shy of 100,000 words - 30,000 up from 2023. And I had such a good time creating with the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom primarily - it's been a delightful fandom to be a part of. I have been so fortunate to have such beautiful responses to my work. Thank you to everybody who read, who wrote beautiful comments, gifted me fic and art. You are wonderful, all of you!
2024 Summary
Words written: 95,603 fic, and 65,872 original work.
Fics published: 25
My favourite fic: A tie, between two favourites...
The Diamond, Gortash/Jannath, a surprise that poured out of me for the fantastic Gortash Week celebration.
Stonemilker, the final "big" piece of my Durgetash writing, which took me a little while and was a real labour of love.
My most written pairing: Durgetash, by some measure
My most used tags: Canon-typical violence, Character Study, Cult of Bhaal (dungeons & dragons)
What I learned: I can grow characters. I can write dialogue people like. And, more than anything, I've learned that people genuinely like my work. It sounds so silly, but I'm literally still sat there in awe every time anybody comments. I'm not for everybody, but I'm for some people who are so generous and passionate and I love that. I have also learned that perhaps multi-chapter is not my strength in fanfic lol, and that is okay.
What I want to write next year: I had high hopes to move into another fandom and write more, but I think that's not happening, which is a blessing in disguise, as painful as it is. I want to finish the draft of my current original work and I want to try out this other idea I have, and that will take a lot of brain space. The one thing I DO want to do is complete Clever Boy, my Haarlep and Gortash piece. I lost a chunk in a data issue and it's meant I've not updated in like 10 months. I want to make sure that's finished.
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violetsareblue-selfships · 4 months ago
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good morning!! <333
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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that-was-anticlimactic · 6 months ago
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see a world so beautiful and strange (spinning off somewhere)
“Why? Why are you suppressing?”
“Because I can't tic,” Alya whispered, fingernails digging into the skin on her arm. “I know Tourette’s isn’t exactly uncommon, but it’s part of my identity as Alya Césaire. It can’t be a part of Rena Rouge, too. Someone could figure out who I am and then…”
And then she’d have to give up the coolest thing that’s ever happened to her, give up living her dreams.
[or, alya is suppresses as rena rogue in order to protect her identity, but neither ladybug nor trixx will let her hurt herself like that]
🦊2,345 words | alya-centric, alya & ladybug friendship🦊
happy tourette's awareness month!!!
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emloafs · 6 days ago
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no pressure but i would read a thousand full length novels of ur hawkmetri fics. soo
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stop anon you're making me blush
(you're def not ready for what i've been cooking)
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taegularities · 1 year ago
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plantenjoyer · 5 months ago
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
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#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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kindahoping4forever · 5 months ago
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The tiktok with the roses was straight out of Encore and when he posted that video of himself watching the sun on his birthday, that reminded me of your fic about the birthday camping trip! Clearly he's been reading thru the kh4f archive for ideas!
I had absolutely 100% forgot the camping fic was a birthday fic as well omg 😭😭
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spittingspite · 2 years ago
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10 first lines fanfiction game
Rules: share the first line of the last ten fics you wrote and tag some people
I was tagged by @cryptid-crawly
OwO now I get to root through my fics and remember how I really need to write more fhsfffjgh
1. Diagnosis: Phantom Lovestruck, chapter 3
The day hasn't even started, and Shouta is already regretting agreeing to discussing the upcoming trip in person rather than over email.
2. Untitled
Consciousness cradles Shouta almost as tenderly as sleep does, coaxing him awake before he can have the presence of mind to refuse it.
3. Smile At Your Discretion
Shouta doesn't look in the mirror often.
4. The Bonuses of Coworkers, chapter 2
Toshinori stumbles into the teacher's lounge half asleep, still yawning and rubbing his eyes.
5. Knock Knock
Toshinori's breath is hot on his skin, every brush of his lips a whisper of a promise.
6. Push 'Til I Shatter And You'll Bleed From My Shards
"Remember," Dabi's voice warns him through the receiver, "we can't help you once you go in."
7. Tied Up With Want
Toshinori wasn't sure what to expect from Aizawa's apartment.
8. Untitled
The room is silent aside from their heavy, trembling breaths, intertwining in the air to create a breathy duet for just the two of them.
9. Untitled
The warehouse the police have been led to is dirty, crumbling, and overgrown with weeds.
10. Let Me Be Your Wings, chapter 5
It's not the first time Crowley's seen the bookshop after the fire, but looking up at it now, towering tall and proud over the Bentley like nothing ever happened to it, still feels weird.
And I tag @fghtinus because I love you and your writing ❤
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angered-box · 1 year ago
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I wonder if I can finish the mikakoga oneshot I've been writing since march before the end of the year....
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julymusings · 2 months ago
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Jason Todd x Single Mom!Reader
I've been plagued for many months now by the idea of jason todd x young single mom!reader. I literally made this blog this morning just to post this
this is so LONG try as i might to shorten it i've been itching to get all this out of me so enjoy this word vomit i might just make a full fic if i'm feeling extra frisky
You got pregnant in college, and now you’re fresh out of grad school moving to a new city with your 3 year old daughter
You got a job at Wayne Enterprises, leading an important new project. You and your colleagues are invited to the latest Wayne Gala, hosted at the billionaire’s own manor. All these years as a young mother and a student, you hadn’t any experience with such extravagance-- how could you say no?
the party lowkey sucks because it's all old rich people so you sneak out to a balcony where you find a young man drinking whiskey and texting on his phone.
he introduces himself as jason, and his hand is rough and calloused when you shake it, but it's warm and sends a tingle up your arm. (😏)
You chat about your work, he complains about the stuffiness of a life at Wayne Enterprises and you laugh when he warns you to get out while you can (he's joking, of course. not because he thinks it's worth staying but because if you leave he'd never be able to hear that adorable laugh again)
when you go off on a tangent about how excited you are for your project, he's not even listening anymore. the sheer passion that lights up your face has his mind going fuzzy and a full orchestra playing in the background
you're pulled back in before he can get your number :( he's so mopey all weekend he doesn't even have it in him to retaliate when damian makes fun of him for having pink pony club as his top song for this month :(
when you get home your email is flooded with warnings from other parents at your daughter's daycare about a lice scare?? okay, you think, she's definitely not going on monday, you can just bring her to work with you, right? what's the worst that could happen?
the following monday he just happens to show up at the office (He can't just stop by to say hi to his brother who he loves?) (tim calls security almost immediately)
you're not at your cubicle (in a meeting, your desk neighbor informs him) so he mills about the floor like a lost puppy just waiting for you to show up so he can "accidentally" run into you
the woman at the front desk has a chair pulled up next to hers where this little girl with pigtails is sitting, trying to console her as tears stream down her face
jason springs into action, kneeling in front of her chair to ask what's wrong
she just sniffles and holds up her stuffed animal, an elephant whose button eye has popped out, the woman watching her trying to get her to hand it over so she can sew it back on but she wont let go
he goes full grey's anatomy, fussing over the toy like it's in mortal peril and complimenting her for being so brave before gently asking if he can try to fix it
she lets him take it and he uses the woman's travel sewing kit to stitch it back on
she's ecstatic, leaping forward into his arms to give him a big hug
but now she won't let him leave because no he has to have a conversation with the elephant first and introduce himself and give it post-surgery care instructions and listen to it talk about how much she it wants a puppy and he feels like such an idiot talking to that thing but anything to make this little girl smile
she pulls a little picture book from the backpack hung on the back of her chair and asks him to read with her and he can't just say no!
so he plops down on the tile floor and starts reading out loud and even though she's standing next to him craning her neck to see the pictures he's a head taller than her
when you finish your meeting and head back to the front desk to thank gretchen for watching your kid the sight you see makes your heart absolutely melt
jason and your daughter are sitting criss-cross applesauce on the floor of Wayne Enterprises as he reads to her, and he's pulling out all the stops, he's doing voices, sound effects, and she's giggling so hard she can't sit up straight
but then they both finally notice you
"mommy!" she yells, running to you and wrapping herself around your leg
you're surprised to see him, but definitely not disappointed, and if what you just walked in on indicated anything, it was that you wanted, nay, needed this man
so now you're flushed and hopeful, mind running with possibilities of why he's here; could it be? he couldn't stop thinking about you either? he came all the way to ask you out?
but jason is also surprised, astounded even, by the miniature carbon copy clinging to your leg saying something about scooby snacks
he's freaking out on the inside
through a tight-lipped greeting he excuses himself with what he hopes is a neutral demeanor (spoiler alert: it's not) and goes home to think
and you obviously know exactly what that was about, one doesn't go through pregnancy at 19 without becoming well-acquainted with the whole catalogue of surprised/judgy reactions
of course you're a mess because the early/mid 20s dating scene is hard enough as it is but with a toddler? forget it, might as well just give up now
you go home to call your best friend and get drunk over face time while she assures you that men aint shit and offers to put a curse on him (you consider it, but how are you supposed to get a lock of his hair?)
he's up all night hating himself for being such an asshole and trying to come up with a scenario in which this works, in which he can have you in his life and also a child and be the red hood because he can't stop thinking about you
so then he just says fuck it and the next morning he shows up at your office with flowers and a puppy stuffed animal and finally asks you out
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lokidjarin-7567 · 22 days ago
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The Prophecy
Viktor x You When the friend of your youth, Viktor, sees you still living in the Undercity, and working in a strip club at that, he is determined to reconnect, and rekindle a childhood friendship that was rooted in something more. Contents: fem!reader, fluff, angst and smut all in one folks, 18+ MDNI, a few physical features described but still reader insert I think (hair colour and freckles), both Viktor and you POVs, long-ass one shot 8.1k words Taglist: @night-fall-moon @zsuzsu321 @sh1zhu @circeinspace @casualjagodek @retrokatz @am-3-thyst @xlittlemissydjx @sseleniaa @thefandomsfervent Hi guys, thanks for bearing with my while I've been working on this one!! I have been absolutely obsessed with this man ever since I finished Arcane, so I just had to write something about him! I also think a lot of people mischaracterise him, so I tried really hard to get his personality right - let me know if I actually have lol. Anyone who knows my works knows how slutty my smut can get lol, but this is actually quite tender so a new one for me too. Anyway, I'll stop waffling now, I hope you enjoy. TTPD Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
DISCLAIMER: while this, in my opinion, is still classified as an ‘x you’ fic, a few physical features are described, namely ‘you’ having burgundy red hair that is, at one point, described as curly and having freckles, alongside a handful of super vague descriptors (eg. fluttering eyelashes, slope of her nose AKA things that can be applied to any and all faces) - basically everyone in the Arcane show has cool hair so I thought this would be a cute detail. It’s possible to ignore if you don’t want to think about have a different hair colour, but if you don’t want to, don’t read it! Almost every comment on this fic has been relating to this which, when I put hours of hard work and effort into something that I was proud of, is insanely demoralising. There has always been a disclaimer in the contents above, but I’m adding it here as well so it’s as clear as possible. Dead dove do not eat and all that. And I’m always open to constructive criticism, but there’s a way to go about it, and a way that will put someone in a slump for months, so please think before you comment! Anyway, not to put a downer before the work, thank you for the reposts and loves so far ❤️
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Viktor was lost in thought as he made his way back to Piltover, small tube of Shimmer tucked away in his satchel. He didn’t know what to do. Using it might stabilise the Hexcore, allowing it to keep the plants alive and accomplish everything he and Jayce had been working towards for years, maybe even curing this sickness that had taken over him, or…
Or it could end horribly.
The undercity was as dark and unpleasant as he remembered it. He had never fit in here in his youth - too scrawny, too bookish, and with his leg, he stood no chance. And now was no different.
The neon store signs stood out against the blackened buildings and muddy streets. This part of the city, deep in the underbelly of Zaun, seemed busier than the rest, roads bustling with call girls and salesmen and tourists from Topside taking their pick of unruly establishments. Hundreds of voices layered atop each other in a cacophony of harsh laughter, garish music and argumentative tones. There was barely space to walk, especially with his cane, and he was starting to wonder if this journey was even worth it.
Then something caught his eye. A flash of red, deep and vibrant, moving towards him on the far side of the lane. It was hair, bouncy and curly and his subconscious told him it was shorter than it should’ve been, but it was a colour he knew. Her face wasn’t one he could place at first, but as she got closer, he saw the freckles that smattered across her nose like a constellation, her pink lips that were perpetually curled into a soft frown, her eyes that she always accentuated with brown liner. It was her.
The only friend of his youth. A young girl who used to sit behind the foliage near the water where he tested his inventions. She was shy, even shyer than he used to be, too scared to ask him anything about what he was making for a long time, just watching with curious eyes. But he would never forget the day she moved closer. The way her long, burgundy locks flowed around her, almost touching the floor, the way she was trying her best to be confident, but there was a soft shake in her hand, and a slight stutter as she said hello. Then she produced a small invention of her own - a submarine, the same colour as her hair, designed to float perfectly so the periscope was the only thing that peeked out from the surface.
For years, they were inseparable. She was more artistic than him, always adding a flair to her designs that he didn’t have, so he’d let her ‘improve’ his too. They would play together, and then as they got older, build together, each creation more daring and experimental. And then they started to drift apart. They were in their mid teens when her mother got sick, and she couldn’t make it out as much. Viktor always offered to help, but she refused, not even allowing him to see where she lived. And so, when Professor Heimerdinger found him and offered him an opportunity to be his assistant, he couldn’t even tell her. He left a note, delicately placed under a rock where they would build together, telling her where to find him and how to get in touch, but he never heard anything.
And now here she was. He called out her name softly, not wanting to alarm her in this hostile city, but she didn’t hear. She’d walked past him now, so he turned, following but she was walking fast, faster than he could manage. He called out again, but it wasn’t until then that he noticed the headphones over her ears. She couldn’t hear a thing. He carried on, hoping she would stop but she didn’t. If it was anyone else, he would’ve gone home, given up, but now he’d caught a glimpse of her, he had to see her. To talk to her. To find out why she never got in touch. To apologise for leaving her behind.
She disappeared from view for a moment, and he panicked, thinking he’d lost her again, but he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye, entering an alley beside a row of bars and clubs. He grimaced, following her to see the red locks just moving out of sight again, and a bouncer closing the door behind her. He tried to follow her into the building, but the man stopped him.
“Please…” he asked, out of breath, “it’s an old friend, I need to see her…”
“Staff entrance only, pal. You’ll have to go ‘round the front like everyone else.”
“But… she’s right there… I only need one moment, if she just saw me…” The words died on his lips. Would she even recognise you?
“Don’t make me ask you twice.”
It was dark inside the club, the lights low apart from on the stage and around the bar. It was only mid afternoon, but the place was near full of lowlifes just starting their evenings, sloshing their drinks and talking loudly. The neon from outside carried into this space too, strip lights around the platforms accentuating their presence. There were dancers atop each of them, but he averted his eyes. He shouldn’t have come here. This was so far from his comfort zone, loud and unruly, a long way away from his lab, but he had to see her. He couldn’t let her go again.
He found a stool by the bar, ordering a soda and waiting for her to start her shift. There was no way he could miss her again if he was right here when she started.
And then he saw her at the very edge of his vision, as though his eyes were programmed to search her out in any crowd. She was on stage, cherry red hair glowing in the soft lights, combined with the neon from below making her look like a ghost, ethereal. What was she doing up there?
***
“Afternoon, Joey.” You muttered to the bouncer, and he opened the door for you wordlessly as you slipped off your headphones, replacing your perfectly selected playlist with the sleazy music of the club. Just one of the many reasons you hated working here. You were running late, as per, throwing your things in your locker and quickly changing. Lacing up your shoes always took the longest time, and you barely even had a chance to check yourself in the mirror when you were finished. Your hair looked perfect at least, the naturally burgundy curls sitting at shoulder length. You missed the long hair of your youth, but it become impractical very quickly, and the memories it held… you ended up cutting it all off soon after your mum died. That was when you started working here too. You’d had dreams, of course you did, but growing up in the Undercity made it almost impossible to follow them. There were worse places to work though - for the most part, the patrons were respectful, and everyone who you worked with was kind, but it was still a strip club. At the end of the day, no little girl wanted to be an exotic dancer when they grew up. At least it just about paid the bills.
You had been put on a long shift today - late afternoon until the early hours. You didn’t mind though; it was exhausting, but more time meant more tips. And you needed the money. You were saving, slowly but surely. One day, it would be enough.
These shifts always started slow. Not many tips this early in the day. Not enough drunks - they were all too willing to part with their money, an exploit you knew how to use. After a while on stage, it was your turn to make your way into the crowd. You started away from the bar, smiling at a few, a couple of words of flirtation thrown around, but no one was loose enough for anything else yet. There was something different about the energy today though. You felt… exposed, on display, more than usual. Self conscious in a way you hadn’t been since your first week. By the time you got to the bar, you were already feeling frustrated at the lack of interest. But your favourite coworker was pouring the drinks tonight, and she had one ready for you already.
“Thanks, Katie” You crooned, knocking back the shot quickly and she immediately offered to refill - something you gratefully accepted.
“Thought you might need it. Slow start?”
“Yeah, not the best day so far.” You took your second, thanking her again, when you heard a voice call out your name. Your real name. It made you start, whipping your head around to find the source. You didn’t use that name here. You were expecting to see an ex, or an old boss, but instead you were met with a face you hadn’t seen in years.
His eyes hadn’t changed. Kind but tired, amber in colour and glowing like whiskey in sunlight. The curve of his nose was the same, the curl of his lips, the small moles like points on a map - one beneath his right eye and the other to the left of his lip. There was a cane tucked beside his stool, and he was dressed well. Too well to be in this part of town. A uniform of some sort, something a Topsider would wear: blue shirt accented with a cream ascot and waistcoat. It suited him.
As soon as you saw him, every fond memory of your childhood rushed back to you like a river. The gentleness when he explained his creations to you. His willingness when you asked if you could paint them pretty colours, or add cute designs. The way he held you as you cried about your mum falling ill. How quickly he offered you support, and how quickly you turned him down. You didn’t want to be a burden, but you regretted that choice as soon as he stopped showing up to your usual spot. You kept going for months before you gave up, still trying to find him. The last time you visited was to scatter your mum’s ashes - your stories of Viktor’s designs and the beautiful creek where you tested them out together being one of the last things that brought her comfort.
And now, he was here.
He’d made it out. He’d made it Topside. And you’d only fallen further down.
If there was one person you never wanted to see you like this, it was him. He was the only slither of your youth and innocence left, the only soul in the whole of Runeterra who knew the true version of yourself, the first version of yourself. The version you actually liked. And now, he had to see this. You couldn’t tell what you were feeling. Every emotion was vying for attention: joy, nostalgia, anger, envy…
He repeated your name in a questioning tone, and you realised you’d been staring at him, the rollercoaster of emotions you just went on likely visible on your face.
“Do you know him, darling? Or shall I grab Joe?” Katie asked from behind the bar, staring him down with a protective look. Viktor opened his mouth to speak, indignant look on his face, but you answered for him, never once being able to tear your eyes from him.
“Yeah I… cover for me? If anyone asks, he got a dance.”
“Of course.” Viktor’s gaze had returned you, confused, and you just muttered a ‘come on’, signalling him to follow you, and you lead him across the floor to one of the private rooms. They weren’t exactly the nicest places to talk, the whole room painted a hideous deep purple, a weirdly-shaped black velvet sofa the only thing to sit on. As soon as you closed the door, turning around to see the soft look on his face, every drop of anger seeped from you, replaced with relief. Relief that he was alive. Relief that he had done something with his life. Relief that you hadn’t lost him forever.
You couldn’t help it but let the tears fall as you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tight.
***
He was surprised by her warm welcome. After all these years, he had always imagined she would resent him, but here she was, face pressed to his chest as she hugged him, tears falling onto his shirt. He didn’t even have to think about it, one arm naturally surrounding her as she cried, keeping her close, while the other held firm to his cane, ensuring it was stable for the both of them. He never wanted to let her go again.
She eventually pulled away though, wiping her tears with the shy smile he remembered so well.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.. on your fancy Topside shirt too.” She laughed nervously, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I… um, I imagined bumping into you one day, finding you again, but I never thought I would be dressed like this.” He finally let himself glance down at her when he said that, to take her in completely, safe in the knowledge that she wasn’t meeting his eyes. She looked beautiful - a black two-peice set, solid silk on the areas that counted, but the frills and accents were a sheer lace, stockings too, glittering beads woven into the delicate material. Even if the environment didn’t suit her, somehow the clothes still did, the same style he’d seen her develop in her teenage years. Simple in colour, beautiful in design - the cunning of her inventor’s mind applied to her other passion.
“What are you doing here, Viktor?” She sat down on the awkward sofa, curling her legs up onto it, and he followed suit, resting his cane against the arm.
“I could ask you the same thing.” It fell from his lips before he could stop it, and he winced, expecting her to be offended, but she just smiled sadly.
“You got out.” She stated as a shrouded question, ignoring his quip, and he nodded. He could explain, he should, but not yet.
“And you never wrote me.” He responded.
“Write you? Viktor, I didn’t know where you were.” She never got your letter.
“I left you a note by the creek. You never got it?” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve found you somehow, or…”
“It’s ok, Vik.” She shuffled closer on the loveseat, grabbing his hand and squeezing tight. Hearing the name she used to call him sent a pang of pain to his heart. This is what he had been missing out on all these years, all because of a stupid letter. “If I was in your shoes, I’d have done the same. Besides, I never let you see where I lived, or anything else about me. And when mum… I fell off the face of the earth. I wouldn’t have let you in no matter how hard you tried.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“I know.”
***
You spent a long time asking about his life now. He was working in the academy, partners with Piltover’s favourite researcher, helping to create the HexTech that kept the whole city afloat… he had changed the fucking world. And you were… here. Still.
He said your name softly, as though trying to broach a subject carefully and you knew what was coming. You had seen the query floating in his eyes since the moment he saw you.
“What are you doing working here? I mean, you’re brilliant, more so than me, and yet…”
“I’m still stuck in the Lanes?” You sighed.
“Well, yes.” You’d never once thought of him as ignorant. Maybe he’d been living Topside for too long.
“I never got my break. You deserved what you got, of course you did, and you’re the smartest person I know, Viktor, but that doesn’t change the fact that you got lucky. And it’s not the same here as when we were kids. Sure, things weren’t great then, but now… There are no jobs, no money, housing is insanely competitive even though most of it is disgusting.. it’s a vicious cycle meant to keep you in the shitter. This is what I could get. It pays my bills and lets me save a little, the other girls are nice, it’s close to my apartment…”
“But…” You knew from the look on his face what he was going to say - a long speech about how much potential you have, and how much better you could have it. You dropped his hand.
“But what?” You couldn’t help but snap, defensive over the very job that you cursed daily. “But I’m better than selling myself to sleazy drunks? You think I don’t fucking know that? You think I want to be losing my sense of self every day just so I can keep the lights on? You think it’s my dream to feel like I’m a lesser human being because I will let someone pay me to take them into this room and…” You stood up then, starting to pace as silent tears fell. You never let yourself think about any part of your life longer than you had to. Not pondering on it was the only thing keeping you alive.
“You know I wasn’t saying that…”
“I know I’m sorry… I just…”
“I know… I know…” He stood up then too, wrapping you in his arms and letting you cry. Again. You felt so stupid. “I missed you.” He whispered, face nestled into your hair, barely audible.
“I missed you too.” The tender moment didn’t last for long though, as a sharp knock on the door startled you, jumping away from him and wiping your eyes.
“Vikki?” Joey’s voice called out, and you breathed a sigh of relief. “You ok in there?” You put on your smiley voice, cooing back to him.
“Yeah, all good Joe, got a paying customer in here...”
“You got it, doll.” You heard him walk away, and turned back to see Viktor looking at you, head cocked, small smirk playing across his features.
“What?” You asked with a shy smile, wiping away the last of your tears.
“Vikki?” Oh.
“Well I couldn’t exactly use my real name.” He laughed at that, and you couldn’t help but giggle too. “That does mean we’ve been in here too long though, I should…”
“Yeah, no of course…” he moved to open the door, grabbing his cane, but you stopped him quickly, pressing your hand against the door frame.
“One second…” He frowned as you reached towards him, but he didn’t move, just watched curiously as you took your time unknotting his ascot. Once it was off, you unbuttoned a few of his buttons, trying to ruffle his shirt a little, make it look like you had actually been doing your job rather than talking to an old friend. “There…” you muttered quietly, realising he’d shuffled a little closer to you as you worked, and now his lips were only a breath away. He was looking at you so intently, as though there was something he wanted to say, but he never spoke, just gazed at you in a way that made your heart swell. Your hands lingered on his chest, comforted by the warmth and solidness of him. A reassurance that he was real and here. You didn’t want to move.
“Please, don’t go anywhere just yet…” you muttered, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
***
She had been backstage for a while now, muttering something about trying to move her shifts around. She came back beaming, and it was infectious, a smile he was trying to fight taking over his own face just at the sight of her.
“Ok, if you’re busy tonight, or you have plans, you can tell me to piss off…”
“Never.” She blushed in response, her wide smile spreading further as she spoke, and he was helplessly drawn to her, eyes scanning her face intently.
“Well, someone came in early for their shift, but someone else is running late… anyway, our schedule is a mess, but good news is I only have to stay for another hour and then I’m free so… I was thinking, maybe you’d want to grab some food and catch up? Unless you have somewhere else to be…” She still sounded so shy, so unsure - the same habit she had when she was young, babbling when she was nervous. He was finding it hard to connect the dots in his mind: the timid person before him now, the girl he used to know, and the dancer on that stage, full of bravado and confidence.
“That sounds wonderful.” The joy in her face was intoxicating, and he watched as relief visibly washed over her body.
“Ok, brilliant.” She spun away for just a moment, trying to track down the bartender she seemed to know well. “Katie, he’s with me, ok? Send him back in like an hour, and his drinks are on my tab.” He tried to protest, but she rested a hand on his shoulder, quickly silencing him. “I insist. It’s the least I can do, considering how long you have to wait around.” Again, he tried to tell her didn’t mind, that he’d wait as long as she needed, anything for her, but she was gone already, slipping into the crowd, his shoulder cold where her hand had been. He sighed, turning back towards the bar on his stool, taking another sip of his soda.
“That’s our Vikki…” Katie mused, slicing a few garnishes behind the bar. “Never accepting that somebody else would want to do something for her.” He let out a dry laugh, half at the name, half in agreement.
“That sounds like her.” A beat of silence passed between them. The club was starting to fill up, but it wasn’t too rowdy yet, and nobody else was at the bar, all relying on bottle service and shot girls instead.
“Drink?” He shook his head politely. “How do you know her?” Katie asked, staying busy but obviously trying to snoop. He didn’t mind. She was a topic he didn’t mind talking about.
“Childhood friend. I haven’t seen her in… a very long time.” Her eyebrow shot up at that.
“What was your name, by the way?”
“Viktor.” A look of surprise flitted across her face.
“Ohh.” She drawled knowingly, smiling at herself as she continued to wedge limes.
“What?”
“I’ve heard of you, that’s all. Her childhood love who disappeared on her while her mother was dying…”
“You don’t know the whole story…” He snapped back quickly. He might hate himself for what happened, but he felt the need to defend his choices. It had turned out well for him, he just wished he could’ve found her. Taken her with him. Their life could’ve been so different. Katie chuckled, continuing her tasks.
“Oh trust me, I do. She’s very quick to defend you, you know. You can do no wrong in her eyes…”
“Not so sure about that…” As he muttered to himself, something she’d said suddenly hit him. Her childhood love…“Actually, on second thought, I will grab a drink please, whatever she usually has. But don’t put it on her tab…”
“I wasn’t planning on it, Topsider.” She saluted mockingly with a smile.
Two down and that was all he was having, just needing something to take the edge off after Katie’s admission. All those years wasted, because you thought childhood love was stupid and pointless. And now, seeing her again, you still love her as much as you did back then…
Katie was on her break, so he twisted in his seat, trying to find her in the crowd. She had never been difficult for him to spot, everything about her so familiar to him, and this time, she was centre stage, which made it even easier. Every part of him was screaming to turn away, to not taint his view of her, but he was instantly transfixed. She danced so fluidly, so gracefully. Every movement she made was purposeful and poised. However much she hated her job, she took pride in it. He was a scientist, sure, but she was a creator, through and through.
***
You were finally finished, and you were exhausted. Even though it wasn’t even half a usual shift, seeing Viktor, all the memories it brought back, it had been so emotionally draining.
You were grateful that the changing area was empty. It wasn’t the usual shift time, and no one ever came here on their break, so at least Viktor wouldn’t have to deal with that. You almost laughed at the thought.
There was a gentle knock, and his voice sent a flutter straight to your heart.
“Vikki?” He called out mockingly, and you laughed at the way he’d latched on to your new name. It was inspired by him, after all. “Are you decent?”
“Yes, you can come in.” You were looking good, if you said so yourself. The fashion and the opportunity you were afforded to express yourself in that way was one of the few things you did like about this place. You’d tried to incorporate the shapes and designs of your ‘work attire’ into a more Lanes-friendly outfit, layering a black organza shirt over the lacy bodice, beading shining through the sheer fabric, pairing it with a bubble skirt and knee high boots, just the right height to allow your stockings to peek from the top. There was only one item that wasn’t black; his neckerchief that you had taken earlier was now around your own collar, tied in a dainty bow. He grinned as soon as he laid his eyes on it, striding towards you and gently holding the hemmed edge between his fingers.
“I guess I’m not getting this back, huh.”
“Never.” He shrugged.
“I’m ok with that.” God, the way he looked at you. It made you melt without fail, warm flush spreading across your cheeks.
“Are you ready to go?” You muttered, eyes still glued to his, honey tones making you feel as though you were stuck in them. A fly trapped in amber, resigned to its fate.
“I’m ready when you are.”
You’d decided you were going to cook for him tonight instead of taking him out. The places near you either weren’t nice enough, or they knew you for the wrong reasons. Besides, you wanted to show him your place. To show him that, even though you were still here, you had done everything you could to make the best of it, to continue learning and inventing and developing yourself.
That did mean you had to stop by the store, though. Which meant bumping into Angel. He and Viktor would not get on.
You had grabbed Viktor’s arm as soon as you left the club, a habit from the times Joey had walked you home, knowing that you were safer beside a man than by yourself. Even though the Undercity was bustling tonight, there was something so soothing about being here with him. A nostalgia warming you from the inside out. He let you guide him into the shop below your apartment, chatting absentmindedly about nothing and everything, when a smooth voice stopped yoou in your tracks.
“Not so fast, Vikki…” You groaned, turning back the few steps you had made into the entrance.
“Hey Angel.” You cooed, although it felt wrong falling into your usual flirtatious routine when Viktor was right behind you. He was working behind the counter today, thumbing through the till. His long dreadlocks were down, grey peeking through his beard, wide grin as his eyes traced over you, following your arm to where it joined the man next to you.
“Is that a nickname, or…” Viktor muttered, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you responded.
“No, Vik, this is my landlord Angel…”
“Landlord, huh? Thought I was more than that, sugar…” He leaned across the counter, shit-eating smile on his face, clearing noticing and enjoying the fact he was winding up your new companion. Viktor scowled, moving a step closer to you.
“Yeah, yeah, keep dreaming, old man…” You sent him a wink, and he laughed, the booming noise of it always making you smile. “What have you got in that’s fresh? I’m actually cooking tonight…”
You chatted a little longer, grabbing what Angel recommended and some wine, before heading upstairs via the back of the shop. Viktor was still scowling slightly as you were unlocking your door, and you laughed lightly, nudging him with the bag of shopping.
“What?” He huffed.
“I don’t like that guy.” He grumbled, feeling smug that you had called it.
“He’s my landlord, Vik, and a friend. He’s a good guy, don’t worry.” He just shrugged as you finally got the door open, and you thanked the stars that you had remembered to tidy last night, or else it would be a complete tip. There were still remnants from your busy morning scattered all around the studio: scrap pieces of fabric and thread strewn across the kitchen table, the half-finished neglige you were constructing laid over the back of one of the chairs, the cogs and pieces of machinery lie abandoned next to your sewing machine in the wake of the modifications you were trying to make so it could handle more delicate material. The space itself was dark in colour, olive and navy washing the walls, brown leather sofa and black countertops marking their territory in the small apartment, the stain-glass screen in front of your bed the only splash of jewel toned colour. You could feel Viktor’s curiosity at the place, and as he stepped further into it, a smile settled onto his lips.
“It’s so very… you.” He said, and in any other intonation, it would’ve sounded like a bad thing, but when he said it, full of adoration.. it was a compliment of the highest order.
***
She was mesmerising as she cooked, twirling in the kitchen to her carefully selected vinyl, a wide smile on her face as she tested what she was making. He wanted to help but she wouldn’t let him, batting him away and telling him to sit down, and for now, he had obliged. But, as much as he wanted to help her always, right now, he just wanted to be close.
“At least let me pour the wine?” He said, already standing to help, and she huffed, but didn't object. Instead, she handed him the corkscrew and the bottle wordlessly. He smiled, leaning against the counter and continuing to watch her as she stirred. She was always so chaotic when she was creating, something evidenced by the near bomb-site on her kitchen table. It was just so… her. Everything about her apartment was as well, such a perfect and beautiful representation of everything she was, every tiny detail of her life and personality reflected in the space she lived in. The colours, the soft furnishings, the bookshelves lining the wall behind her bed. Then, he noticed something about the stain glass screen that separated the room, soft light from her bedside lamp washing through it and creating a blue ripple across the floor like a stream. It was of their place, their creek. It was abstract, sure, but he would recognise it anywhere. The way certain rocks jutted out, the colours of it all, the small boat floating in the still glass water.
“Did you make that?” He asked earnestly, and she briefly glanced up from the stove to see what he was looking at.
“Yeah, I've been trying out a lot of different hobbies actually, things to keep me busy when I’m not working. That was one of my favourites…”
“It’s beautiful.” She smiled sadly, focusing her attention back to the pan.
“It reminds me of you.”
He poured them both a glass, and she gratefully accepted.
“It’s nearly finished, just a few more… oh I meant to ask earlier…” Her mind was such a beautiful thing, the speed at which it moved so captivating, not even time to finish her own thought before starting another, “why were you even here today? In the Undercity, in my club… I just never thought I’d see you back here by choice.”
“I was visiting an old friend, a quandary about a new gadget Jayce and I are working on, but…” He was going to say something about it, ask her opinion on whether he should follow Doctor Reveck’s advice, what he should do next, but he decided against it. “He didn’t have any insights.”
“Maybe I can help?”
“No, I…” She looked hurt at the speed the word left his mouth, almost recoiling and turning back to her cooking with a frown. “I mean that you probably could, but I don’t want to taint tonight by talking about a project that has been frustrating me for weeks. Another time though, of course I would appreciate your insight.” She sighed in relief, smile flitting back across her face. She grabbed a spoon from the drawer, humming as she did, a flurry of breathtaking movement as she dipped it into the sauce, spinning back around and holding it up to him.
“Taste?” She asked, the look on her face so hopeful it melted him, her joy infectious. But underneath all of it, he couldn't help but notice the cracks: the bags under her eyes, the tiredness set into them, the subtle shake of her hand. But he just smiled, enveloping her hand in his and bringing the spoon to his lips.
“It’s perfect.”
“I’m not sure I’d go that far.” She looked proud nonetheless, spinning back away from him and he was left to watch again, heart swelling. He wanted this. Cooking with her, drinking wine in the kitchen to her favourite record, letting her order him around. He wanted the… intimacy of it. The domesticity. The realisation of it ached. You could’ve had this. All these years without her, all these years wasted. Precious time that you no longer have to spare. If you’d have just waited, just taken more time to find her, insisted on helping her even…
“It’s ready!” She exclaimed, presenting a plate with a wide grin, and every stress, every regret simultaneously melted away and intensified, a pit forming in his stomach.
“It looks wonderful.”
***
You had eaten, and you were both now on your second glass of wine. You felt closer to him with every single second, drawn to every word he said like moth to a flame. At some point in the evening, you’d moved to the floor, backs to the sofa, as you looked through some of your old sketches you had found. The conversation lulled momentarily, a faraway look in his eyes, and you realised how close you had gotten. Your elbow was leaning on the sofa, supporting your head with your body twisted to face him, knee pressing against his thigh. You moved your head forwards to glance at the sketchbook, and your hand fell, resting on his shoulder. A stillness fell over him at the touch, and he smiled sadly to himself.
“I think you should come back with me.” He stated with finality, and you froze.
“What do you…”
“I think you should come back to Piltover.” He closed the book, placing it gently on the low coffee table. He was serious. “Help Jayce and I with our projects. Let me teach you about HexTech.”
“Vik, I don’t exactly have any actual experience. I don’t have an education. I can’t afford to live Topside…”
“You can live with me.” He said it so simply, like it was so obvious. Of course you would love that. Now you’d seen him again, you didn’t want to be apart from him but… “Professor Heimerdinger can give you lessons, but you have the mind already. There are certain things that can’t be taught. You have the passion, the skill, the creativity…”
“But…” You weren’t trying to pick apart his plan, but it felt terrifying. Even though it was everything you had ever wanted, it felt so far fetched. Like a fever dream. It didn’t feel like your life, your future.
“No, I… I lost you once, I can’t do it again.”
“Vik…” He grabbed your hand that was resting by his shoulder, and you felt yourself relax into his touch. He turned head to meet your eyes, sadness creeping into them.
“I don’t have much time left.” The finality of his statement shocked you, and you couldn’t tell what he was talking about. Did he have somewhere else to be? Oh god, you’d already kept him here too long…
“What do you mean, time left?”
“I’m dying.” It felt like somebody had punched you in the gut, all the air in your lungs gone.
“You’re…”
“Dying.” He repeated factually, and your heart sank further into your stomach. “And if we don’t… Jayce and I are working on something that might help, but if it doesn’t, I need someone I trust to take over from me.”
“Viktor, hold on, I need to think…” Your mind was racing, and you still couldn’t quite wrap your head around everything, hands running through your hair. He was dying. He wanted you to move Topside. He wanted you to work with him. To take over his life’s work. “It’s been years. I haven’t seen you in years and now you want me to… now you trust me to…”
“Of course.” He muttered, speaking your name softly to get your attention, hand gently wiping your face where tears had fallen without you noticing. “You’re everything to me, you always have been. There’s nothing I wouldn’t trust you with.” His hand was still resting on your face, and as you searched his eyes, you saw something else. Something pleading, something that echoed the feeling bouncing around in your heart. It would be hard. It would take a long time to settle in, to learn the ropes, to feel like you belonged. But it was your dream. To help change the world. And if he didn't have long, there was no chance you were wasting any of your time left with him.
“Ok.” You answered nodding, and you watched a smile take over his face, heart swelling at the sight.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… Vik, you’re offering me my dreams on a silver platter, and on top of it all, I get to be…” You nearly slipped, about to say be with you but you knew that was a lot. That you had only just reunited and to spring the whole I’ve loved you since I was 10 and I’ve never loved a soul since thing on him might ruin the dream that he’s just given you. But, fuck, you wanted to kiss him right now. “I get to work with you again.. there would have to be one hell of a catch for me to say no to that.”
“The whole dying thing isn’t too much of a problem then?” He asked with a slight smile, trying to hide a genuine fear beneath a joke.
“Oh, honey, knowing that we don’t have another decade of time to lose… I’m not letting you slip through my fingers this time.” His hand felt so natural resting against your cheek you’d forgotten it was there until it moved to cup the base of your neck, thumb drawing gentle lines across your jaw. His amber eyes were searching your features, looking for anything to indicate that you were unsure, but your resolve shone through, and you could see the moment he realised this was going to work, relief flooding through them.
Then, before you could process what was happening, his hand gently guided you forward until your lips brushed against his—light as a feather. For a moment, you couldn't believe he had just kissed you, that it was real. But as you met those pleading honey eyes, everything else faded away. Every doubt, every regret, every sliver of worry vanished, replaced by such overwhelming care and love that you felt you might burst. Your body gave in without conscious thought, melting into his arms as you kissed him. His hands drifted to the back of your head, tangling in your hair and pulling you closer. You couldn't get close enough, your hands gripping the front of his shirt. His fingers traced down your body until they reached your hips, pulling you over him. A soft giggle escaped into his mouth as you swung your leg over his, settling onto his lap. When he finally broke for breath, you found yourself chasing his lips, panting into the space between you with a wide smile.
His lips found yours again, this time with more urgency, more need. Your hands slid up his chest to his shoulders, steadying yourself as his grip on your hips tightened. The feeling of his fingers pressing into your skin sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn't help but let out a soft moan into his mouth. He smiled against your lips, one hand moving to cup your face while the other remained firmly at your waist.
"I've wanted this for so long," he whispered against your mouth, voice rough with emotion. You could only nod in response, too overwhelmed by the feeling of finally being in his arms after all these years.
The record had long since stopped playing, leaving only the sound of your shared breaths and racing hearts in the quiet apartment. His thumb traced gentle circles on your cheek as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, full of warmth and something deeper, something that had been there all along. Something that you had been too blinded by insecurity to notice earlier. Something that you knew all too well, reflected in your own heart. You pressed your lips to the mole on his cheek, and the one beside his mouth, a small smirk playing across his features as you did.
“I still can’t quite believe this is happening.” You muttered softly against his cheek, and he sighed, thumb dancing across your lips.
You eventually found yourselves entwined on your bed, limbs tangled in soft cotton sheets, his back pressed firmly against your sturdy wooden headboard as you rocked into him with gentle, deliberate movements. Each subtle shift of your hips sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making your breath catch. You panted softly into his mouth as his strong, careful hands helped guide your every motion, his touch both grounding and electrifying. The overwhelming need to be closer drove you to pull him tighter against you, your arms wrapping securely around his shoulders until there wasn't even a whisper of space between your bodies. Your chest pressed firmly to his, feeling his rapid heartbeat matching yours, as your head naturally found its place in the crook of his neck. You pressed feather-light kisses against the sensitive skin, tasting the salt and breathing in his familiar scent. The intimacy of the moment was almost overwhelming - so intense, so raw, so perfectly natural - and you found yourself climbing toward your peak faster than you ever had before, your body responding to his every touch as if it had been waiting for this moment forever. You whined softly into his skin as pleasure built within you, each movement bliss, and he responded with a groan as he pressed his lips tenderly to your temple.
"That feels so good, sweetheart," he drawled, his voice coarse with desire, and your hips instinctively bucked harder against him, drawing a sharp gasp from both of you. His meticulous fingers traced teasing patterns across your hipbones before finding their way between your bodies, circling your sensitive clit with perfectly measured pressure that made your toes curl. His other hand gently cupped your chin, drawing you back until your eyes met his, gilded with desire but still so full of tenderness. His lips ghosted across yours before he pressed his forehead to your own, releasing your face and returning his hand to your hip, guiding you once more. You could feel yourself fluttering around him as your pleasure built to an almost unbearable peak, and his eyes rolled back, a broken groan escaping his lips and filling the charged space between you. The coil of pleasure wound tighter and tighter as you approached your climax, desperately seeking more of him, claiming his mouth in a deep, passionate kiss that swallowed the stream of desperate moans spilling from both your lips. When your release finally crashed over you, it was like nothing you'd ever experienced - all the pressure, all the built-up desperation exploded like a supernova and pure, white-hot ecstasy consumed every nerve ending, every thought, every sensation except the feeling of him inside you and against you. He followed shortly after, gasping your name like a prayer against your skin as his own pleasure overtook him, his lips finding purchase on your neck as he shuddered through his release. In that moment, it was perfection, hearing him, feeling him, everything you had ever dreamed of and more. But as you came down from your shared bliss, you couldn't quite silence the intruding thought lurking at the edges of your consciousness - that you wouldn’t have him for long.
***
She looked so peaceful curled against him, her head nestled perfectly in the crook of his chest as if she belonged there, her beautiful red hair fanning out like a fiery halo in the dim light. Her beauty was staggering - the gentle slope of her nose, the delicate arch of her brows, the soft curve of her lips - and he couldn't help but trace each feature with his fingertips, mapping the geography of her face with tender precision. She sighed contentedly in her sleep at his touch, unconsciously pressing closer to him, one hand curling loosely in the fabric of his sheets that lay across them. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this complete, this profoundly at peace, as if all the jagged pieces of his life had suddenly aligned. His fingers continued their gentle exploration, committing every detail to memory - the light dusting of freckles across her nose, the subtle flutter of her eyelashes, the way her lips curved slightly downwards even in sleep. He wanted to capture this moment, to carry it with him always like a talisman, a protection. A reminder that he would do anything to preserve her peace of mind. To make her happy.
The soft amber from the bedside lamp caught in her hair and painted her skin in warm honey tones, making her look almost otherworldly in her beauty, an ethereal being who had chosen, inexplicably, to be with him. He pressed his lips to her forehead in a feather-light kiss, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair, before letting his own eyes drift closed. Despite everything - the illness creeping through his veins, the uncertainty that clouded their future like a torrential storm on the horizon - right now, everything felt exactly as it should be.
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angelfrombeneth · 10 months ago
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MESSY - M . RIDDLE
Mature and Possibly Triggering Content Ahead
Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader
Summary: You and your bestfriend of 13 years have a bit of a spat, that turns into her being a shit friend. So you also return the favour.
Warnings: SMUT, Implied Cheating, Slight mention of violence, Your bestfriend is a shitty friend, You do something shitty, Dom!Mattheo, Sub!Reader, Not been proofread - expect slightly grammar errors.
A/N: Thought I'd switch it up with Theo and do a Mattheo short. This is just a random draft. It's not one of my best works but I wanted to put something out cuz it had been a while. I've been super busy w my studies so I haven't had time to finish my other fics or any asks. So please accept this for now 🫶
"Hey Erica!" You smiled as you skipped up to your friend. Erica had been your best friend for 13 years. Your mother's were best friends before your mum passed, you grew up together and stuck by eachother no matter what. Even when you both got sorted into two different houses; she got Slytherin and you got Hufflepuff. Despite all odds, you both at in 6th year still going strong.
Erica turned to look at you, her eyebrow quirked. "What?"
You stood before her, confused with her attitude. "I thought we could go hangout in the pavilion together?"
She turned to her group of Slytherin friends and snickered slightly, bidding them goodbye before looking at you. "Sure, Where's Cedric?" You looked at her weirdly while you both walked towards the pavilion.
"I'm not sure, why'd you ask?"
"No reason, just suprised your both always at eachothers hip, it's weird he's not"
"Your right.. I should ask him-"
"No!" She cut you off. "Its ok, ill ask him for you, maybe he won't tell you the real reason"
"Thanks Erica" You smiled. The pair of you sat in the pavilion and gossiped about many different things.
You spotted Pansy across the pavilion waving you over to her and her friends. "Hey, I'm going to see Pansy, ill see you later?" You stand.
"Her? You're friends with her" Erica scoffed, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Whats wrong with Pansy?"
"Everything, she's just a fucking whore. All those guys she's friends with she probably sleeps with them all she's a wh-"
"Erica stop it. I don't know what your deal is... Pansy is nice to me ok? Just drop it" You looked at her weirdly from her behaviour.
"Your right, I'm sorry. I'll go speak to Cedric now for you" She smiled before rushing off.
You shrugged it off and walked over to Pansy smiling.
"Y/N!" She cheered as you sat down next to her. "We were just talking about how cute you and Cedric are, 3 months now right?" Pansy smiled at you.
"Yeah, it's going great, im really happy actually"
"Thats so good, Although we always thought you'd end up with a Slytherin boy" Astoria snickered.
"Really? Who, I don't even really talk to many of the guys" You quirked.
"Probably Theo, he's the gentleman out of them all, the best choice other than my Blaise" Daphne smiled.
You smiled at her, Her and Blaise had been together since 2nd year. They were like the powerhouse couple of Hogwarts, perfect in every way.
"Pans, did you and Erica have an argument she seems to have a strong.. hatred for you" You looked to the girl beside you.
Pansy looked up at Daphne and Astoria and laughed slightly before taking your hand. "I never did anything to her, she's just jealous I'm friends with the guys. She keeps implying I'm 'fucking them all' but I'm literally gay" Pansy snickered.
"Thats literally what I thought, I thought everyone knew?"
"Everyone does, Erica is just fucking stupid" Tori scoffed, crossing her legs over eachother.
"Tori-" Daphne glared to her.
"Besides its because her and Mattheo have this thing or whatever, and me and him are close" She shrugged.
"Mattheo? As in Mattheo Riddle?" You raised your eyebrow.
"Yeah- Why?" They all looked at you weirdly.
"Isn't his dad like.. You-know-who?" You whispered.
They all laughed at you softly. Pansy patting you on the back.
"You're so sweet and innocent" Astoria cooed.
A loud bell chimed around the whole castle you all stood up.
"Fuck, I have potions" Astoria groaned.
"You'll live" Daphne laughed at her.
"See you around Y/N!" She smiled to you as you all parted ways.
You sighed as you walked into the castle.
Over the next few weeks you hung out more with Pansy, Daphne and Astoria. Everytime you'd hang out with Erica she'd ice you out or something. You also notice Cedric just get more and more bored with your presence which just didn't make you feel any better. You had wondered what Erica and Mattheo were considering she never once mentioned him to you. At all.
You sighed, as you stared down at your tea leaves, poking at them with your wand.
You felt a gush of wind beside you as someone sat in the always vacant seat.
"I know this seat isn't taken, so I will be sitting here" You heard. You looked up to see Mattheo, smiling down at you.
"I take notice when my favourite girls start hanging out with another person, which means you must be a goodie" He smiled at you. "Y/N, right?"
You nodded smiling. "I didn't realise you all were so close"
"We are like a second family, since our actual ones are pretty shitty" He snickered.
Over the following weeks you had grown close to all the Slytherins, hanging our with them all. Occasionally Cedric would come over but he wasn't that interested which just irked you. He had apologised for his lack of presence that made you feel a bit better.
You and Mattheo had become quite close, to him he was quite fond of you. Found you very cute. Erica didn't like your friendship with Mattheo all of a sudden and this was the brunt of most of your arguments. You always apologised then backed away from the group for a day or so, but it was just like a forever cycle.
You had discovered, Mattheo and Erica were dating but you were confused as to why she hadn't told you but you didn't want to take it to heart, there must've been a reason.
After class, you walked down the halls, students rushing quickly to make it to their next class, as you walked down towards the Hufflepuff entrance you noticed all the Slytherin boys all hanging in the kitchen.
"Feeding time at the zoo again?" You snickered. The boys all turned staring at you like deers caught in headlights. This wasn't the first time you'd come across them in the kitchen. You had grown close with the Slytherin boys recently, but you had grown to know them more for you sort exchanges everytime you see them feasting away.
"Fuck- Y/N you scared us. I thought you were a fucking teacher" Blaise sighed.
"Why are you guys always here on my free" You quirked your brow.
"We just wanna see you so bad!" Enzo whined as you chuckled.
"Where you off to in a rush anyway" Draco licked his finger from the pie covering it.
"M' meeting Cedric in the common room. I'll see you guys later" You smiled to them before walking a bit away from the kitchen and entering the Hufflepuff commonroom.
If you could go back to 2 minutes ago when you were laughing at the boys stuffing their face with pie. You would.
As you rounded the corner towards the opening of the commonroom to froze, hearing giggles and.. moaning? What freak would fuck in the common room, you scoffed. What you didn't expect was who. You decided to just ignore the sounds and quickly pass up to Cedrics dorm when you caught a glimpse of an oh so familiar green gem clawclip thrown across the floor.
"Erica?" You raised your eyebrow as you stared at the couch.
You watched as Erica sat up, disheaved hair and messy makeup before the other person sat up to. That person being... Cedric.
"Cedric- Erica what the fuck??" You shouted at them both.
"Y/N- He threw himself at me, I swear. We were just talming and-" She gasped, standing up and changing herself.
"What No??- It's not what it looks like- She"
"SHUT UP!" you screamed. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to your stupid excuses. You didn't slip and fall into her Cedric be fucking for real" You scoffed at him, storming up to him and slapping him across the face. Your voice cracked as you yelled and turned on your heels and ran from the common room.
"Y/N WAIT!-" Cedric yelled.
As you rounded the last bend the last thing you heard- "Wellthat was easy, see you later Cedric" Erica cackled.
You thought she was your friend, best friend forever. She was a fucking liar. A disgusting whorey liar. You sobbed as you ran from the commonroom towards the stairs. You ran past the kitchen, the slytherin boys noticing you running. You didn't stop, you had to go to Pansy. You knew she had a free and she was in her dorm. So you ran there.
Third POV:
"Was that Y/N?" Enzo poked his head out of the kitchen confused by your rushed nature.
"She was crying- I hope she's OK.." Theo hit his lip slightly nervous for you.
"She's fine, probably stubbed her toe or something" Draco snickered.
Mattheo and the boys decided to ignore the fact Y/N ran past crying and it probably wasn't any of your issues. That was until he noticed two people sneak past the kitchen.
"Who was that?" Enzo questioned.
"No clue" Mattheo shrugged.
Your POV:
The next few days you spend sobbing and skipping classes. Astoria, Pansy and Daphne took turns looking after you as you wailed in their arms. Not only had your friend relationship fucked up. He cheated on you and with your 'best friend'.
When you told the girls they were pissed. You practically had to talk Astoria out of certain violent consequences. They stayed with you and comforted you for ages. The first few days were crucial.
You had recieved owls from Erica, explanation in her own fucked up words how the situation wasn't at all what she thought it was and how it was just a huge misunderstanding. You couldn't help but scoff at her bullshit.
Three weeks had passed since everything you left Pansys after a few days and stayed boarded up in your room for an additional 2 weeks. No one came in and no one came out. The girls were concerned for you but understood you needed time.
News travelled that you and Cedric broke up but nothing about Erica being a home wrecker. When you finally left your pit after nearly 4 weeks you had seen significant changes. You were quite pale due to lack of sun and nutrients - you didn't look sick you just looked tired. People noticed and just felt.. bad for you. What really set you over the edge is in these 4 weeks not only had Erica homewrecked your relationship- she had clung to the people you had become to get comfortable with.
This was the second time Erica had done this to you. In 3rd Year you had started dated Adrian Pucey when she swooped in and was making out with him. She had told you he threw himself at her and she was so sorry she didn't mean to hurt you and you fucking believed her. Now this was just proof she was a bitch and she expected you to just forgive her which is what you'd do, but you had to come up with a plan.
You walked down towards the Slytherin common room, and up towards Erica's dorm. Erica only had one other dormmate but she was in the hospital wing currently due to a mishap in potions.
You knocked on the door and the door swung open to reveal Erica. A sickening smile spread across her lips as she let you in.
"Oh Y/N- I'm so glad your here. I need to explain everything to you" She wore a fake pout as she hugged you before pulling away.
She was rushing around her room fixing her hair and doing her makeup as she spoke to you. You sat on her bed.
"I was talking to Cedric, about what I said when he threatened me. He was saying about how he'd hurt you and how he'd do horrible things to you if I didn't sleep with him Y/N"
Really. Does she really think you'd believe this. You had to try your best not to laugh.
"Erica that is so horrible- I know you didn't mean to- You'd never do anything to hurt me" You smiled.
"Exactly!" She turned to look at you smiling. "He was a terrible boyfriend Y/N you can do so much better- Look stay here. I'll be back, I have to go see Mattheo in the hospital wing but I'll be back soon. Then we can have a girlie night" She smiled again. That fame smile was irking you.
"Of course" You smiled as she rushed out of the door leaving you. How stupid was she to think you'd believe her bullshit lies. You peered around the room, groaning. Why did she get to keep a boyfriend after all of this.
Speak of the devil, the door swung open to reveal Mattheo, leaning against the door frame as he quizzically looked at you.
"Y/N? Where'd Erica?" He asked.
"Mattheo? She said she went to the hospital wing for you-"
Mattheo rolled his eyes scoffing. "I came here to break up with that cheating slut and she's gone to cheat. How ironic" He laughed, venom lacing his tone. "I know your friends but seriously you can do b-"
"Actually we aren't friends" You cut him off. "I was here to listen to her bullshit excuses on why she fucked my boyfriend" You scoffed.
"Cedric too?" Mattheo scoffed. "I don't get it, I was actually a good boyfriend to her, for once I wasn't the asshole" He laughed mockingly.
Mattheo sat next to you on Erica's bed as the pair of you sighed. It was quite for a moment before you spoke.
"Maybe she needs a taste of her own medicine.." You peered to Mattheo, who was now smirking.
"A dark streak for a little hufflepuff like you? Do go on" He bit his lip as he stared down at you. Now you look at it, Mattheo was twice the size of you.
"Maybe we could.. you know" You looked down.
"I'm a changed man Y/N- but fuck, my old ways would always come back for you" He smirked, referring to his last two years of THE player and heartbreaker of Hogwarts.
Before you could reply you heard a soft chuckle before Mattheo's hands are instantly all over you. He kisses you softly but needingly. The way his lips move against yours as his hands grab at the plush of your thigh.
You could almost laugh at his neediness but it turned you on even more. You climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pull him closer, needing more. Your tongues dancing upon eachother as you grinded down against his growing bulge. The softly moans he'd release into your mouth were enough to have you moaning.
You broke away shortly as the pair of you quickly stripped down to your underwear. You stood up, throwing your jumper and shirt off as you shimmied out of your skirt. Mattheo kicked off his trousers, throwing his jumper and shirt across the room just in time to catch you as he jumped onto him again. A light chuckle leaving his mouth as the pair of you sat pratically skin to skin.
"God you are so fucking hot" He smirked, biting his lip as you sat back down on his lap, as he sat at the end of the bed.
He watched as you, pulled your panties off, dropping them beside the end of the bed as you yanked at his boxers. Smirking as his cock sprung out and hit his stomach.
"So big, and you were all hers?" You smirked, pecking his lips softly as you pulled yourself closer, instantly sinking down on his length as you yelped at the size. His grip, harsh on you as his fingers dug into your hips,his eyes slightly rolling at the sensation.
"Fuck-" You sighed out as you wiggled down on him, reaching back to unclasp your bra and tossing it aside, before pulling him closer and smashing your lips onto his yet against as you grinded down against him.
You gasped, as he gripped your waist, thrusting up into you as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Dont be a bitch Y/N" He smirked against your mouth as your tongues tied to one another as your hands roamed all over. His hands reached to your ass, squeezing, gripping and slapping the flesh as much as he could as your hips buckled against his, his cock burying itself deeper inside of you.
"mm.. J-just like that" You sighed, reading your head against his shoulder as you rocked your hips back and forth against his, sighing at the sensation.
He couldn't handle it much longer as he threw you down against the bed, giving you time to get on all fours as he kicked off his boxers as he gripped your hips and began to piston into you. Your back arched as you gripped the sheets, your teeth sunk into the duvet as you whined into the cotton. You could practically hear his filthy smirk as you whined. His hands aggressively gripping at your love handles as he bounced against you, pulling you back harshly with each thrusted rebound. The way your skin slapped loudly against his as it collided. The way your ass, bounced against his thrusts sent him over the edge.
With each thrust, his hand would grasp at the flesh of your ass, squeezing it or slapping it as you whined down into the mattress. A filthy smirk spread across his face.
"Oh fuck!-" You gasped as you whined, eyes rolling back slightly as you gripped at the sheets.
"Good girl- Good fucking girl.. Taking it so well" He growled from behind. His voice just made you even wetter, the whole situation had your stomach in knots.
He continued on your ass as you gasped for air, his hand yanking at your hair, collecting it into a messy ponytail as he yanked you up and back against his chest. His free arm snaked around your waist, pushed down against your lower stomach, intensifying each thrust as you could feel the pressure of his arm. You whined out loudly, gasping at the sensation as he took the chance to let go of your hair and wrap a hand around your neck.
You gazed to the side to look at Mattheo, as he smirked, before kissing you roughly. His tongue instantly sliding into your mouth as you sighed into the kiss. Toying with his tongue as his cock made at home inside your walls. The way he thrusted in and out like he owned it had you on the edge.
You broke away momentary, gasping for air as he pulled away completely. The emptiness between your legs prominent as you whined, falling forward but catching yourself, moving to lay on your back against the bed, looking up at him.
"Miss me already" He laughed, sweat dripping down his body as he stared at you smirking, as he climbed ontop of you, kissing down your neck, sucking softly at the skin.
"Fuck- How can I not, when you look like that" You chuckled, running your hands up and down his naked body. You couldn't help but let your hand linger over his stomach, as your fingers dipped between the crevasses of his chiselled chest.
"You're bad, fucking your bestfriends boyfriend" He smirked, biting his lip as he hovered over the top of you, his hand pumping his cock as he stared down at you.
"She did it first, I'm just returning the favour" You smirked, pulling his neck as you pulled him into a kiss. You could feel Mattheo smirked against you as he lined up yet against to thrusts into you. His forehead against yours as he smirked down at you.
"You are so cute, shame it took this to see your dark side" He laughed as his thumb caressed your cheek softly, pecking your lips as he slowly slid back into you. You gasped, arching your back, as your chest pressed up against his as your body shook below him.
"God, I fucking love how you just melt at my fucking touch. So slutty" He laughed lowly in your ear, as he nibbled on the shell of it before biting at your shoulder and sucking on it as he began to thrust.
As he began the thrust at first they were soft, his lips peppering kisses all down your neck and collarbone as you whined softly under his touch. You watched as he licked the bruises that had formed across your skin as he smirked down at you. His smirk was sickening. Sickeningly sweet.
His cock sunk in and out of you like it was moulded for you. The way you whined and moaned into his ear had him harder than ever. He was obsessed with you and the pretty little sounds you made.
As he fucked you, he tossed your leg over his shoulder as he continued to fuck you at such an animalistic pace you were unsure if you'd make out of this in one piece. Your stomach, knotted at the pleasure. You hummed and whined as his cock thrashed in and out of you as he whined.
His lips capturing yours once against for a kiss, yet this time deeper. His lips moved so sensually against yours, as he kissed you with such passion. His hand, clasped around your neck as his tongue slid in and out of your mouth as the pair of you hummed. It was like time stopped and it was just you. You had never been fucked this good before, but thanks to Mattheo you now had.
You continued to whined with each thrust, gasping as you gripped at his hair, tugging on it. Mattheo's slight chuckles at every whine that left your mouth sent you spiraling.
As he kissed your deeper and fucked you harder you heard as scream, causing you both to pull away from the kiss. But that didn't stop Mattheo from railing the fuck out of you still. The pair of you looked over his shoulder to see Erica stood in the doorway. On urge you went to pull away from Mattheo in embarrassment but he held you down, smirking back at you as he sped up causing you to arch your back, screaming.
"Mhm- Fuck.. Your dick is so perfect" You whined as your gaze slightly lingering on Erica as the pair of you made eyecontact before you arched your back, leaning back and gripping the headboard. as he fucked you into the mattress. Your body recoiling against the thrusts as the bed creaked and shook.
The two of you edging closer to your high before you both case against one another. You pulled him closer as you kissed him deeply. Moaning softly into his mouth as you creamed his cock. Sighing softly as your body slowly loosened up.
Mattheo pulled away, smirking as he licked his lips. The pair of you had forget Erica was in the room and could more than happy stay like this until you heard a shrill shriek. "WHAT THE FUCK!" She yelled.
The pair of you untied from one another as you sighed, standing up and pulling your clothes back on, as Erica stood in shock at the two of you.
As you buttoned your shirt, you threw your jumper of your shoulders as you grabbed your heels before walking around Erica. "Just returning the favour" You smiled at her wholeheartedly. "Have fun cleaning" You turned to Mattheo before you left, shooting him a wink as he still led against the bed, bare naked.
"You- WHAT??" You could hear the cogs turning in Erica's head as you felt the scene before hearing crashing and screaming. Now she knows how you felt I guess, and well.
She deserved it.
If you enjoyed this fic and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here!
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heck-theo · 2 months ago
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NEON VOID - REVIVED [FULL AMV/PMV WIP] The Neon Void fic by @sugarpasteltmnt
I've been meaning to post this for ages but I just wasn't feeling in an art/ROTTMNT/fanfic mood recently. Kinda wanting to get back into it and work on it again now but don't hold your breath, I just wanted to post this in case I never finish it I wanted to show my support for the fic and didn't want all this work to go to waste. This was started before the end of the original Neon Void comic so I might adjust some of this to include later even possibly. But watching it again after months of not touching it... I kinda like it and want to work on it again? The black line art was a more refined/finished version I started working on.
About the song: This song is a fan song: Revived by Derivakat from 3 years ago. It is about a Wilbur Soot character from the Dream SMP (I think? I never watched it). Just be aware that there are some hefty accusations towards Wilbur being abusive that as far as I understand are pretty credible. The creator of the song does not support these actions and as far as I'm aware this song does not support Wilbur in any way but I just wanted to mention it so people are aware. Obviously I don't support abuse either and if this song was directly about Wilbur or supported him or the creator of it supported him then I probably wouldn't feel comfortable using it.
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jihyoruri · 6 months ago
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ COMING DOWN kim chaewon x reader
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↳ warnings wow!yn, slight smoking, chaewon is down bad that’s all, listening to coming down by the weekend fits the vibe wow!kim chaewon x wow!yn i suggest you read my other wow fics before this one they’re in my masterlist <3
the sound of rain and soft music filled the room setting a calming mood for the five girls in the room, like always the found their way in the girls room, it had a way of always setting the mood.
yujin had her face stuck in her phone as she laid in yn’s bed like always, while the other girls camped out on the floor.
rei drew on one of yn’s converse that she found in her room singing softly to the lyrics along with yn who sang along as well as she practically laid on top of the other girls, her head on wonyoung’s lap and her legs resting on jiwon’s thighs.
yn groaned as she stretched out her bedding causing her shirt to rise up revealing her star tattoo on her hip line causing wonyoung to gasp and bring her fingers to the girls lower front on top of the stars.
“when did you get this!?” she asked in shock causing yn to laugh.
“feeling me up like this? I knew you were in love with me.” she teased causing wonyoung to roll her eyes and remove her hands from yn and to the girls hair tugging it slightly.
“ow!”
“I got like a month ago, I brought jiwon with me.” yn says her face pinched up from wonyoung’s tug.
rei looked up from yn’s shoe in offence, “but I’m your tattoo buddy.” she whines.
“sorry dude.” yn said as she leaned up from wonyoung’s lap and leaned forward towards jiwon, “i just love how concerned she gets when it’s finished .” yn says closely to jiwon’s ear causing the other girls face to heat up, “it’s cute.”
wonyoyng rolled her eyes and tugged yn back down into her lap, “you need to lay off the tattoos, you keep giving our managers a heart attack.” she says flicking the girls forehead.
“that’s what I've been saying!” yujin says from the bed, “but you guys make it seem like I’m being this crazy leader.”
“cause you are babe.” yn says opening her mouth to bite wonyoung’s finger causing the girl to shriek.
“that was gross!”
“there’s people in the world that would kill for me to bite their finger, consider yourself lucky.” yn teases wonyoung who can’t help but laugh at the girls comment.
silence fills the room again, only the sound of music and rain being heard before rei speaks again.
“yn are you going again tonight?”
“yeah probably,”
yujin sits up and looks at yn with concern, “going where?”
before yn could respond rei cuts in, “her little hide out.” she giggles, “yn found this abandoned shed looking place and her and her step dad have been working on it for months now, she didn’t tell you?”
“no.” yujin said offended looking down at yn who looked at her unapologetically while playing nudging jiwon with her leg who had most definitely spaced out.
“sorry dude, but you would have definitely stoped me from working on it.” yn shrugs.
yujin mouth drops , “I-I would not!” she looks at wonyoung for help but the girl only sends her a shrug.
“yn’s kinda right,” wonyoung says ignoring yn’s cocky smile, “but hey, it looks pretty cool, there’s like stars everywhere.”
“you’ve been!”
“yeah, we all have.” rei replies.
“I feel so offended right now, what the hell.”
“sorry love,” yn says to the girl, but she didn’t sound sorry, “I’ll take you next time.” she says getting up from the ground and stretching, she smiles at yujin who only glares at her.
“alright, everyone out of my room, I’m heading out.” the girls groan in response, they always loved the vibe of yn’s room, it was comforting and calming.
they all walked out the room while yn grabbed her phone and keys and followed closely behind them and towards the front door.
“be back before midnight!” yujin yells after the girl
“I’ll think about it!”
✮✮
yn loved the calming sensation she felt whenever she was there, she loved the smell of the incense that her little sister and her group member hanni brought for her to put there, she loved the glow in the dark stars that covered the ceiling, she loved the huge star rug that her step dad told her to put on the cold floor,
she just loved how comfy the place was overall, it felt like her, she felt comfortable, she felt happy with the silence that she could wrap herself with when she there, only the sound of music and rain filling her senses.
she blew the smoke out of her mouth as she laid on the gigantic bean bag that yunjin got for her to put in this place, she doesn’t smoke much, only when she’s with aeri but today just felt like the right time to do it, aeri would probably kill yn if she found out she was doing this without her.
the sound of the soothing music almost putting her to sleep but the sound of her phone going off interrupts her peace.
speaking of yunjin.
9:45 pm jenbaby bro chaewon has been on edge😭
9:45 pm jenbaby she’s acc stressing all of us out she needs to get out of here
9:46 pm jenbaby i have great idea 😁 call her pls that will definitely take her mind off of torturing us if ur torturing her
the things I’ll do for you huh yunjin.
yn slides through her contacts and finds chaewon number, she never really called the girl, only when she was helping her out with her performance, which she had a lot of fun doing cause if there was one thing yn loved it was messing with kim chaewon.
the phone rang for a while and on its last ring is when it was answered.
“hello.”
“hey chaewon ,” yn said looking at the glowing stars on the ceiling, she smiled when she could practically hear chaewon freaking out on the other line, “you free?”
“huh?”
“you heard me, let’s hang out, I’ll send you my location if you’re willing to come in the rain.”
“sure!” chaewon responds a bit to quickly causing yn to quietly chuckle.
“okay, I’ll send you the location, don’t leave me waiting.”
“of course not.” yn couldn’t help but smile at how cute the girl sounded, this was the person who was driving yunjin up the walls?
✮✮
it took kim chaewon under 20 minutes to get to yn’s small hide out.
when she saw yn calling her she didn’t know what to expect.
but she definitely didn’t expect yn to invite her to a very sketchy looking shed.
but when yn opened the door, there was nothing sketchy about it, it looked cosy, it looked homey and it looked like yn.
“hey chae,” yn said closing the door while chaewon walked, chaewon couldn’t help my smile at the girl’s nickname.
“hey..” she trailed off taking off the hood of her sweater, “this place is cool.”
“so cool right?” yn said guiding the girl to the area where she was laying down earlier, “so glad I found it.”
“go settled down.” yn said gesturing for the girl to sit on the big bean bag, “I’m gonna get a blanket.”
chaewon hesitantly sat on the overly large bean bag and tried her best to relax, trying her best to ignore that she’s alone with her crush again.
when yn came back she tossed chaewon a large blanket that had black and white stars all over it, before sitting beside the girl on the bean bag.
chaewon tensed at his close yn was to her, smelt amazing, the last time she was this close to yn, was when yn helped her practice for her stage.
just thinking back to that day had her face heating up.
“so…” she trailed off, “how come you invited me and not yunjin or something?”
“a little birdie told me that you need some cooling down and I just knew I was the right person to do it.”
chaewon face heated up in embarrassment, it was true she did need some cooling down.
“wanna talk about it? I’m like the least judgemental person ever.”
chaewon relaxed her body a little and looked down in her lap, “I’ve just been stressed lately, being a leader is hard, you always have to be strong you know.”
yn just hums in response indicating that’s she’s listening.
“and because I’m embarrassed to cry out of stressfulness, I guess I tend to make everyone else stressed as well, it probably drives everyone crazy no wonder they called you.” she laughs embarrassed.
“honestly it’s understandable.”
chaewon snaps her head to look at yn who laid on her back on the bean bag looking up at the glowing stars, “really?”
“hell yeah, I see it with yujin all the time.”
“I can’t believe me and yujin are going through the same thing, that’s so surreal to me.”
“better believe it,” yn says bringing her hands behind her head, “with all that responsibility it’s bound to get you worked up, I honestly find it impressive.”
“really?”
“yeah, I could never be a leader I’m way too unstable for that,” yn jokes(?) making chaewon let out a small chuckle.
“form the stories I hear from wonyoung, yunjin and yujin you do seem pretty unstable.” she laughs.
“and the ladies love it.”
“oh, shut up.”
“just the facts.”
her and yn talked for a while after that, she really was cooling down, she liked how it felt hanging out with yn, it felt right.
“enough about that, im curious about why you found this place?”
chaewon was starting to get comfortable, even laying down just like how yn was, she was just easy to talk to, even though she will always have that nervous feeling in her chest, yn really knows how to calm a person down.
“I’m a person who needs. to be alone sometimes,” yn says turning on her side to look at chaewon who does the same, “there’s only so much of noise I can take,”
“I went on a midnight walk, most of the time I walk with wonyoung but she was in paris, and I came across this place, it caught my attention because it had a spray painted star on it.”
“of course that was the reason.”
“yeah and during that time a lot was on my mind, their always is but more this time and all i could think about was how I would kill for a place to just have to myself so I can be alone for a little.”
“it looks like the universe really was looking out for you.” chaewon said her face heating up in the dark when she saw yn’s smile from the only light source, the glow in the dark stars that light up the dark room.
“it did, and it had a spray painted star on it, like come on it was meant for me, so I called my step dad about it and her immediately agreed to help me with it.”
“you’ve got a pretty cool step dad.” chaewon said amused at how passionate yn sounded talking about this place, it was cute.
“yeah,”
“it’s cute that you and him worked on this together.” chaewon said feeling a bit bold.
“you’re cute.”
chaewon smiled bashfully while yn brushed her bangs out of her face as the faced each other.
“I think you’re pretty cute too.” she didn’t know where this confidence was coming from.
“oh really?”
“yeah.”
the both started at each other and chaewon felt like she was getting dejavu as her eyes flickered to the lips, this felt exactly like how it felt when yn was helping her practice for her stage.
she hasn’t been able to get the feeling off her mind.
and here it is again, but this time she felt like digging further into it.
her leaned her face closer to yn’s, bringing her hand to the side of the girls neck pulling her closer.
yn carefully moved her hand to chaewon’s waist, leaning her face closer as well.
it felt like forever until chaewon gently pushed her lips onto yn’s.
she felt yns free hand wrap around her lower back and pull her up so she’s sitting on yn’s lower waist as she kissed her back.
this was a feeling she had never felt before, it felt amazing.
she knew who yn was, and she knew this wasn’t happily ever after just yet.
but for now she’s just gonna bask in the feeling.
451 notes · View notes
me-loving-woso · 7 months ago
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Today. Tomorrow.
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Author's note: Hi everyone! So I know I've been MIA for several months. But I'm back! This fic will be divided into 3 parts cause I've realized that I can't write a short one-shot. In no way am I an expert in medicine. The information is from Greys Anatomy and the internet. I apologise in advance if I offend anyone Summary: You never thought you'd find love under these circumstances, but sometimes, love works in mysterious ways. For you, it came in the form of Aitana Bonmatí.
TW: Illness, Cancer, Surgery, Happy Ending
You've just returned to Barcelona after being away due to your job. You were an art restorer and had established a small company with some friends from university. While you specialized in medieval and Renaissance art, your three partners specialized in Japanese art, antique jewelry, and ancient Egyptian art. Your company's diverse expertise made you wanted all around the world. 
Although managing such a company and traveling extensively at 26 was demanding, you wouldn't trade it for anything. You loved your job and your colleagues, who were also your best friends. Supporting each other through thick and thin made this life worthwhile for you.
That morning, you were driving to your next job. FC Barcelona, yes, the football club wanted you to restore and polish their trophies. They were meticulous about their trophies, and despite the unnecessary level of care, they requested your services every year to maintain them. It was lucrative work with minimal effort. Even though you weren't specialized in that type of restoration, you were willing to assist your colleague and friend with the task since you had little else to do.
As you parked near the Barcelona training grounds, about to pull up the parking brake, you heard an unpleasant sound, like glass breaking, from the back of your car. You hoped it wasn't what you feared. Taking a deep breath, you checked the other side of your car, hoping it was just your imagination. But as soon as you saw the damage and a small woman approaching you with a mortified expression, you knew the worst had happened. She had hit your car. This couldn't have happened at a worse time.
Walking up to the culprit, you were angry. She was about to speak, but you cut her off. "Sorry, miss. How many fingers am I holding up?" You politely showed her two fingers.
Looking baffled, she replied, "Two?"
"Oh, so you have eyes!" you retorted sarcastically. "I guess an SUV right in front of you was too small for you to see." Your anger was palpable.
"I'm so sorry. I-I was overthinking and didn't turn the handlebar all the way to the right," she stammered apologetically. You could see she was genuinely sorry, but in that moment, you didn't care.
"They should revoke your driver's license. You're a menace," you said, crossing your arms and returning to your car. Taking out the accident report, you said, "Let's fill out the accident report so I can be done with you." She nodded sadly and helped you complete the report.
You knew you were being unfair to her. Stuff happens, but this one was the final straw for you.
As you started filling out the report, you noticed her coming back towards you. Despite her being attractive and all, you were too mad to give a damn. Once you wrapped up your part, you handed her the report to fill out while you rang up your insurance company.
After a couple of minutes of you dialing your mechanic and finishing off the paperwork, you said goodbye to the lady and headed to the Barcelona training grounds.
While you were hanging around, you checked out all the team photos with the trophy. The left side had all the guys' photos, with Messi and the 2009 team, while the right side was all about Barcelona Femeni. Your father was a die-hard Barcelona fan; back in the day, you'd go to some games with him. But when you hit high school, you kinda lost interest in football.
As you spotted last year's Ballon d'Or picture, you suddenly recognized her, which made you laugh out loud. You had just had a small car accident with none other than the Ballon d'Or winner, Aitana Bonmatì.
You thought she looked familiar, but it didn’t really click at the time. Well, at least she's better with her feet than with a steering wheel.
When Eva finally showed up at the training grounds, you rushed over to her.
"Hey Y/n, how's it going?" she greeted.
"I'm good. Some car bumped into me about ten minutes ago, but I'm all right."
"Wait what?!" Eva exclaimed, shocked. Since she found out about your condition and all, she's been super protective. "Are you sure you're okay? Do I need to go all out on someone?"
"The damage ain't that bad. And you'll never guess who I had the run-in with."
You pointed at Aitana's photo on the wall. "Aitana Bonmatì?" Eva asked, puzzled.
"Yep."
"Well, at least she's better at kicking a ball than driving a car."
"That's what I was thinking!" you said, pumped. "Now let's get down to business."
A couple of guys from the club gave you the grand tour and hooked you up with a whole room to work in. You offered to take the trophies back to your lab, but they were set on leaving them there.
As you got everything set up, just as you were about to dive in, the bearded dude was heading out. "Just a heads up, the squad might swing by to check out your work. You know, for Instagram and stuff. Don't sweat it; it won't take too long." You gave a hesitant nod, gearing up for your first trophy. 
"Imagine if Aitana walks in here with all her teammates!" Eva quips jokingly as the two guys leave you alone. "I'd pay to see her face when she realizes it's you," she chuckles.
"I think it's the men's team. Otherwise, they would've said it," you comment, preparing your materials.
"How was meeting her?" Eva asks eagerly. She's a big fan of the women's side.
"I didn't even recognize her. I was kinda harsh, actually," you chuckle.
"Luck hasn't been on your side lately, with the car and all," she replies sadly.
"Yeah," you say, feeling a wave of emotions you'd rather not deal with. You shake it off and force a smile. "Let's focus on making some good money. I'd love to have jobs like this every day!"
You start working on Champions League and La Liga trophies. There's a lot, and as the hours pass, you feel even more exhausted.
After a couple of hours, the guy from earlier shows up. "So, the team's about to arrive. Is it okay if we film you?"
Eva looks at you, waiting for your response. "Only if I get some free advertising out of it."
He thumbs up. "I'll tag you in the story."
"You better!" you playfully retort, returning to polishing the 2005 men's Champions League trophy. You fake a smile and wait for the team to arrive.
As soon as you hear female voices, you glance at Eva and chuckle. She whispers a "I told you so" and gets back to work.
When they come in, you make eye contact with Aitana. Her smile turns to shock, then mortification. It takes all your willpower not to laugh. Out of all the people in Barcelona, she had to be the one to hit your car?
You quickly present your work, using fancy words you rarely use and explaining all the procedures. Aitana never comes near you, which makes you feel a bit sorry for her.
Once the cameras stop rolling, some of the players ask you both questions. As they're about to leave, Aitana walks up to you, apologizing awkwardly.
"I'm sorry again."
"Don't worry about it. Let's start fresh, okay?" You offer your hand, and she shakes it, smiling.
"I didn't know you worked with trophies," she adds quickly, not wanting the conversation to end.
Now that the anger has passed, you actually look at her. She's one of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen, and you're a sucker for nose rings.
"I'm actually an art restorer for Renaissance art. I'm here to help my friend with this job."
"That's so cool!" She beams at you. "So, are you going to work on my Ballon d'Or trophy too?"
You glance at Eva, who nods slightly. "Yeah, but probably not until next week."
She looks at you hesitantly. "Can I be there? I mean, it's not that I don't trust you, but I'm just curious, that's all."
"Are you done rambling?" You chuckle lightly at her nervousness. She's probably still embarrassed about the accident.
"Yes, I am," she replies shyly, making you chuckle. There's something about her that draws you in, as if you were meant to be near each other.
"Of course, you can join us. It might be a bit dull for you though, since you're all about adrenaline during your football games."
"I'm just really curious, that's all. I won't bother you, I promise," she reassures you, still smiling.
"I don't think you could ever be a bother," you say before you can stop yourself, turning your head away.
"Well then, as a proper apology, can I bring you coffee tomorrow?" she offers.
"You don't have to, Aitana."
"I insist. How do you take your coffee?"
The next morning, you waited for Eva to pick you up for Barcelona's facilities. Since your car was at the mechanic's, she'd be giving you rides for at least a week. 
As soon as you arrived at the trophies, you got to work promptly.
"So, you think Aitana's actually gonna bring you coffee?" Eva smirks suggestively.
"I doubt it. She'll probably forget. And maybe she was just being polite," you reply, focusing on your task.
"Well, she was all smiles with you yesterday," Eva starts tentatively.
You turn to her, pausing your work. "What? What are you getting at?" you ask, eyebrows raised in exasperation.
"Maybe she wanted something more than your forgiveness. Like your attention, or an excuse to see you again," she smirks.
"You, Eva, have been reading too many romance novels lately," you chuckle, feeling defeated.
"Two is not too many!"
"We've only talked for fifteen minutes."
"Yet it was the first time I saw you smile in a month," she says, making you roll your eyes once again. You're certain Aitana was just being nice. But you can't deny she's cute. And kind. And nice.
"Eva, you know I can't," you say sadly.
"You deserve a shot at happiness too, you know."
"Yes, but I don't think a super hot football player is the answer."
"Well, maybe a super hot footballer isn't the solution, but I know one who promised you coffee," you turn your head towards the door. There she is, with three coffees on a tray, wearing a shy smile. You blush profusely, hoping she didn't overhear your conversation with Eva, but she seems unfazed, waiting for your acknowledgment.
You take a moment to compose yourself before removing your work gloves and standing up to greet her.
"Hi Aitana. Did you manage to park your car properly?" you tease.
"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" She hands you your coffee and then turns to Eva. "Well, I didn't know what kind of coffee you preferred, so I just brought you the most basic and likable."
Eva looks at her baffled; neither of you expected her to bring Eva coffee or to see her again. "Oh, thank you!" Eva responds before turning back to you, the absurdity of the situation evident in your wide eyes.
She takes a sip of her own coffee, then looks at the trophy you were just working on. "Have you already worked on ours?"
"We wanted to finish the men's trophies first, then do yours next week," you explain. Eva's phone rings, and she excuses herself to take the call, as it was a work call, leaving you and Aitana alone.
“It’s El Prado, I’ll be right back.” 
You sit back down to work, and she curiously comes around the table to your side to see what you're doing. "Don't you have practice today?" you ask.
"We have a rest day," she replies. "Your colleague said El Prado called her, like the museum?"
"Yeah, I have to go touch up some paintings, maybe next month? My schedule's really busy right now."
"You do paintings too?" she asks, surprised.
"I usually only do that. I'm just helping Eva with this job. These trophies are already well taken care of; they don't really need this much attention. But I have to say, LaPorta pays really well," you joke, trying to ease the tension. She chuckles lightly. She has a cute laugh, you think.
"Well, now I'll definitely tell LaPorta!" she jokes back.
"Don't you dare!"
You joke and chat for at least another fifteen minutes. There's something about her that makes your stomach flip in ways you definitely don't want it to. She's attentive, curious, and sweet. She's confident but never boastful, which you find refreshing. 
As the minutes pass, she gradually moves closer to you, coaxing you into letting her help with your work. You gently push her away, chuckling, telling her they don't pay her to restore trophies. But she doesn't budge. She grabs a pair of gloves, picks up her chair, and places it next to yours. She sits down, and you turn to her, wide-eyed at the proximity, but soon focus back on the trophy.
She tucks a loose hair lock behind your ear, asking for your attention. You turn to her, cheeks slightly flushed. "You're distracting me, Aitana."
"Maybe that is my intention," she smirks teasingly.
"Do you want me to lose my job?"
"It's not my fault you're easily distracted. I haven't done anything. I just sat next to you and put on some gloves," she raises an eyebrow.
"And that's more than enough," you utter to yourself.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing!" You reply hastily, but she smiles knowingly, as if she caught you saying something you shouldn't have.
You two stare at each other, like strangers trying to solve a puzzle on each other's faces. You can't quite figure her out. She's the best footballer in the world, yet she's so much more. Still, you feel drawn to her, as if you're meant to be there with her, and she with you. 
You're probably imagining things and being delusional. You blame it on your period. The silence fills the room, becoming suffocating. It's too intense, too much.
Thankfully, Eva enters the room, and you jump back into action, focusing on the trophy again, while Aitana stares at the floor.
You look at Eva, who's already sending you a big smirk, making you roll your eyes.
Aitana stands up and walks to the door. "I really have to go now. How about tomorrow?"
"What-" 
"Okay. Bye!" And she was already out.
You turn to Eva. “Did I miss something?” She asks.
“I don’t know. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
"So, the blood work came back," your doctor says, settling into his chair and opening your file. "You have anemia. Until your hemoglobin levels increase, we can't proceed with the therapy. I advise you to adjust your diet to include more iron and vitamin B12-rich foods. Also, consider taking some vitamin supplements."
You nod lightly, already mentally noting a trip to the drugstore. After a final visit from the doctor, you head home.
This week has been relatively relaxed compared to your previous ones in Italy. You've been working on an undemanding job with your best friend, which couldn't have gone better. Well, maybe it did. Every day this week, she brought you coffee and lingered for at least 15 minutes to chat with you. Even with her busy training schedule, she always made time to talk. You wouldn't discuss deep topics or your condition, but you appreciated how she listened and remained interested in your life.
Occasionally, she'd flash you that beautiful smile, tempting you to throw caution to the wind and kiss away all her smirks and grins.
That same morning, Eva was alone at the Barcelona training grounds because you were at the doctor's office. Around 9 AM, Aitana arrived, searching for you.
"Hi, Eva. Is Y/n here?" she asks.
"Y/n isn't here today. She had a doctor's appointment. Did she forget to tell you?" Eva replies.
Aitana's face falls into a kicked puppy expression. "She did. Anyway, I wanted to give her this." She hands Eva a bag. "It's game tickets. She mentioned she's never been to a Barcelona Femení game, and I wanted to change that. Can you please give them to her?"
Eva studies her, trying to gauge her intentions. "You like her, don't you?"
"What?" Aitana's taken aback, clearly not expecting those words.
"I get it. She's a wonderful person. And stubborn. Just don't hurt her; she's already going through enough," Eva warns.
Aitana nods lightly. "I hope to see you at the stadium this weekend. Bye!" With that, she leaves.
Two hours later, you return to work. 
"Hey!" you greet Eva.
"Hey! How was the appointment?"
"I have anemia, among other things, so I have to wait for it to get better before starting treatment."
"That sucks. But on the bright side, your footballer came by."
Damn. You were so wrapped up in conversation with her, and also distracted by her presence the day before, that you forgot to tell her you wouldn't be at work the next day.
"I forgot to let her know I wouldn't be here today," you admit.
"I figured. I saw the disappointment on her face when she didn't see you," Eva says, overly dramatic.
"You're being dramatic," you lightly blush.
"Maybe, but she cares about you."
"She's a good friend. It's no wonder everyone likes her."
"She could be more than a friend. I think she's—"
"Again, Eva. You know I can't! Besides, do you really think a girl like her would go for a girl like me?" With every interaction, your feelings for Aitana have grown. You're ignoring them, but you know they're there. Acting on them wouldn't be fair to her. But there's an inexplicable pull that you can't control.
"Y/n, you have qualities not everyone has. If it's a worthiness issue, it's all in your head." Eva hands you the bag Aitana left.
"You know I can't be in a relationship right now."
"Why?"
"You know why. It wouldn't be fair to her."
"Then stop giving her heart eyes. It's annoying, especially when I'm trying to work," Eva chuckles.
"It's not you she's trying to distract," you admit, blushing lightly. "And I don't give her heart eyes." You pout.
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," she comments ironically. "But I get it. You've never dealt well with hot women anyway. You're just playing it cool because you're still denying your feelings."
"Stop getting inside my head! Let's get back to work."
That night, you finally open the bag. Inside is an envelope with two tickets to Saturday's game against Atletico Madrid, along with a note.
"I hope you enjoy the game! Since I know you don’t have a jersey, I thought I’d give you one of my old ones."
You pull out the jersey, from last year with the Liga F patch. You subtly smell it, convincing yourself it's not weird. Her perfume lingers, but there's also a scent that inexplicably feels like hers.
The next morning, you wake up an hour early for work. You want to finish an be earlier to surprise Aitana and apologize. Knowing she has a physio appointment ending at 10 AM, you plan to surprise her with a macha latte, just as she did for you all week.
Waiting outside the physio building feels like a terrible idea, making you regret everything. As time passes and she doesn't emerge from the building, you were about to give up. But then, after what feels like centuries, she appears. The look on her face makes it all worth it. She walks quickly to you, still wearing a cute smile.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asks.
"I wanted to apologize. I forgot to tell you about yesterday." You hand her the macha. "Plus, this week, it's my turn." You both sit on a bench.
"Is everything okay? Eva mentioned you had a doctor's appointment," she inquired, causing your brain to pause for a moment.
"Uhm, yeah! Just some anemia, but otherwise, I'm good," you fib.
"That must be tough. My mom also has anemia, but fortunately, it's not that serious," she says, switching to a more excited tone. "So, are you coming to the game on Saturday?"
"Of course," you reply, grinning at her excitement.
"You know, since I gave you the tickets, you have to wear my jersey, or they won't let you in," she teases.
"Too bad, I was planning to wear my Putellas jersey. She's the best player on the team. Plus, I love the number 11," you try to rile her up. Her smile fades, and she's about to stand up when you put down your coffee and wrap your arms around her waist to keep her on the bench. "I'm kidding!"
She sits back down, crossing her arms childishly. "I want my jersey back."
You scoot closer to her, attempting to uncross her arms, but she's surprisingly strong. "Oh no. It was a gift. Besides, I think I can get used to the number 14." Finally, you manage to uncross her arms, and she takes your hand, intertwining it with hers. Your heart begins to race as you stare at your hands together. Her voice brings you back to reality.
"I'll show you who's the best."
"I have no doubt." With your free hand, you tuck one of her locks of hair behind her ear. "And you, woman, are one of the most competitive people I know. It's concerning."
"If we win, we'll probably go out to celebrate. Do you want to come?" she asks shyly.
"I'm already going out. One of my friends wants to celebrate his birthday at a bar. Maybe next time?" you suggest.
"Definitely."
You check your watch. "I really have to go now; I need to get back to work. Same time tomorrow?"
"Bringing you coffee is my thing. Are you stealing my ideas, Y/Ln?" she hints.
"Well then, I won't have a reason to see you," you imply, stepping into unknown territory, but it feels right.
"Well, that's just your loss. Coffee's my thing. You'll just have to find another way to see me then."
"Is that a challenge? Because I can find some other excuses to see you before the match," you grin confidently.
"Like?" she asks, smiling back.
"Well, I was thinking of working on your Ballon d'Or tomorrow evening. You've been bugging me for a week, asking for my help. I'll let you work on your Ballon d'Or, if you still want to, of course."
"Oh, so you want to invite me over to do your job?" she smirks.
"Definitely. This was all planned. You didn't see that coming, did you?"
"You just broke my heart. And for a moment I thought what we had was genuine," she says dramatically, making you poke her side.
"I really have to go now. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Definitely."
You walk to your car with a smile plastered on your face, feeling a tingling sensation in your hand from when she held it. You feel and sound like a horny teenager. Never in your life has a person made you feel this way, and that scares you.
The next morning, you arrived at work with a newfound excitement, which didn't escape Eva's notice.
"Why are you so happy?" she asked.
"Just the usual," you shrugged.
"Does it have something to do with your footballer?"
"She does have a name, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I've seen her more than my parents this past week. It's concerning. By the way, where is she?"
"She'll be here in the evening when we work on the Ballon d'Ors."
"Then I'll be out of your way."
"You don't have to. Nothing will happen between us, don't worry."
"Yeah, no. I've suffered enough this week. All the giggles, all the weird flirting. I'm done. Plus, you're making me feel extremely lonely."
Fast forward to the afternoon, you were waiting for Aitana while finishing touching up all the material. Even though the supplement for anemia gave you more energy, you had been working for six hours straight and couldn't wait to finish.
What was left was Aitana's Ballon d'Or. You hated working with gold, so you were glad this was the last thing for Barcelona. You would probably miss being here, but most importantly, you'd miss a person more.
As soon as she came in, you noticed she was still dressed in Barcelona sweats.
"Hey! Did you just finish training?" you asked.
"Yeah."
"How was it?"
"Tiring. I didn't know you wore glasses." She put your glasses on herself.
"You are definitely blind. I remember you asking me if I was blind when we first met. I guess coming from you, it's even funnier," she teased, earning a poke to the side.
You rolled your eyes. "I had contacts on. What's your excuse?"
She showed you her tongue. "Do I look like an art restorer now?" she fake bragged.
"You are way too fit for anything to do with art," you chuckled, gently removing your glasses from her face.
"Hey! I do, in fact, love everything to do with art. I'm here; that should mean something."
"Being friends with an art restorer doesn't change the fact that you're for sports, while I'm for the visual arts."
"Maybe that's why we get along."
"Maybe." You handed her a pair of gloves, which she excitedly put on. "You're getting very excited for this. Working with gold is very boring."
She shrugged. "I'm working with Spain's best art restorer; it's a privilege," she teased.
"I'm far from being the best," you denied shyly.
"I looked you up, you know. Youngest woman to own an art restoring company, you travel the world because everyone wants you. What more can you do?" she insisted confidently.
"You're the best player in the world. Last year, you won everything. What more can you do?" you flipped the conversation.
"I'm far from being the best. I still have to improve," she repeated your words.
"To me, you are the best, if that means something," you admitted, making her turn to you with a big smile on her face.
"Well, I thought Alexia was your favorite player; you claimed that you love the number 11," she raised an eyebrow, smirking.
"Well, I told you that I could get used to a 14 on my back. Plus, she didn't bring me coffee for an entire week just to see me. Lame, I might add," you teased her, making her blush.
"Shut up! You loved it," she said shyly, hiding her face away from you.
"Yeah, I really did... Now let's get started."
For the next half-hour, you taught Aitana a part of your work, filling your heart with joy at her curiosity. Whenever you guided her hands, Aitana would send you a look that you couldn't quite explain. It was intense and riveting, making you internally combust.
She was sitting so close to you; you could smell her perfume and shampoo. Your eyes focused on her, and she lightly stuck out her tongue, which you found extremely cute and distracting. As you gently took her hands, you could feel her calluses even with gloves on, you showed her a movement she had to do.
"Thank you for letting me help you," she said shyly, and you gently squeezed her hands.
"No problem. Plus, it's your Ballon d'Or," you shared a quick, soft look. "Actually, you're doing me a favor. Working with gold is my least favorite thing to do. You made it a little more tolerable."
"I'm glad to hear that," she chuckled. "I hope I didn't distract you too much from your work this week," she confessed insecurely. Insecurity didn't suit her well.
"Did you distract me? Yes," her face fell a little. “Do I care? No. We wouldn't be here now," you reassured her, and she lightly nodded in response. "So, on Saturday, I'll have to find ways to distract you from the game, so then we'll be even," you bumped her shoulder playfully.
"I never get distracted," she said confidently. You were glad to see her back to her confident self.
"Is that a challenge?" you raised your eyebrows.
"No challenge. It's a fact."
"Are we back to being all confident now?" you smirked playfully. "Well, now I'll definitely make it my main goal for Saturday to be able to distract you."
"And how do you plan to do that?" she turned to you defiantly.
"My master plan will be divided into plan A, which I still have to devise, and plan B."
"What's plan B?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I kinda do?"
"Too bad," you chuckled playfully.
It was 6 PM when you decided to go home. You had stayed with Aitana for more than three hours, but strangely enough, it felt like thirty minutes. You had discovered a new side of her that you couldn't get enough of.
She was different in real life from when she was on the pitch—still driven and determined, but also funny, kind, and gentle. She cared about so many things and was so busy, yet she had time to be with you for more than three hours. 
She loved books and days spent at the beach. Her passion for football encompassed her whole life, and you admired how passionate she was about her work.
She reminded you of yourself and your love for art. When you asked her about her favorite books, you were surprised when she replied with nerdy titles. Looks could be deceiving; Aitana Bonmatí was a bit of a nerd, and you loved it.
She walked you back to your car with your bag on her shoulder, insisting that it was too heavy. As you reached your car door, you quickly turned to her. "So I'll see you on Saturday?"
"Definitely."
"Don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" you couldn't help but smile.
"Yes, boss," this time, you received a poke on the ribs. "Ow!"
"Thank you for today. I really had fun. I thought working with gold was going to be more boring."
"It wasn't, thanks to you," you wanted to hug her. No, you felt the necessity to do so. Unceremoniously, you brought her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her neck and drawing her closer. After the initial shock, she wrapped her arms around your waist and held you tighter. The hug lasted longer than necessary, but neither of you wanted to let go.
There was a pull that made you not want to leave her embrace. It was comforting, and even if you didn't realize it at the time, you really needed it. After some time, you broke off the hug, said your final goodbye, and left for home.
Upon arriving home, you noticed a light emanating from the living room. Initially startled, you thought it might be an intruder. However, upon entering, you found your annoying brother standing there with his arms crossed.
"Jesus Christ! I thought you were a burglar! Idiot!" you exclaimed, smacking his arms in frustration.
"Hi to you too, sis," he responded with a smirk.
"Why didn't you call me?" you asked, placing your bag on the floor before embracing him.
"I needed to talk to you, and I knew you'd find an excuse not to see me," he explained.
"You live in Manchester!"
"I'm back. Got transferred back to Barcelona."
"For good?" you inquired eagerly. Ciro, your brother, was one of the best sports physiotherapists globally, having worked with Man City for almost two years.
"Yeah, got a call from Barcelona. You know I can't say no to that. Plus, I really wanted to be home," he replied.
He towered over you, twenty centimeters taller, with medium-length wavy hair that made heads turn. You both represented the opposite ends of two worlds—you loved art, he loved sports.
"I'm glad you're back," you said warmly, stepping back from the hug.
"Now, why did I have to hear from Mom that you were sick?" he asked, concern etched on his face.
"Ciro, I wanted to tell you, but you were busy with work. I really didn't want to worry you."
"You should've told me," he said sadly. "I would've been there. Could've come sooner."
"And do what? I'll start my treatment next week. There's not much you can do."
"I can be there for you. We made a deal to always stick together. You're my older sister, you've always been there for me. The least I could do is to be there for you," he insisted. You sighed sadly, realizing he was right. You should've told him. Perhaps you wanted to protect him, or maybe you feared that acknowledging your illness would make it too real.
"Did you come home because of me?" you asked tentatively, hoping for a different answer.
"As much as Man City pays, Barcelona is my home. And I really missed my sister."
"You're such a suck-up! What do you need?" you teased.
"Well, now that you ask... I might need a place to stay."
Rolling your eyes, you replied, "You can take the guest room."
After settling his stuff in the guest room, you both decided on pizza for dinner. He insisted you make the call, but you refused, playfully tossing his phone back to him. As soon as he returned, you sat on the couch to catch up on each other's lives. It had been months since you'd seen each other, and despite your reluctance to admit it, you missed him.
"Are you also working with Barca Femeni, or only the men's side?" you asked.
"I still don't know. Definitely covering all the home games and the key players if they're injured. Unsure about the away games."
"I have tickets to Saturday's game for the women's side if you want to come," you offered.
"I'll probably have to cover that game, being the first one," he replied with a suggestive smirk. "Why do you have tickets for a football match? Weren't you against 'the sports'?" he teased, using air quotes.
Blushing lightly, you retorted, "I never said I was 'against the sports.' I just prefer books to football games."
"Then why the sudden interest in watching a football match?" His face lit up. "Is it for a girl?" he asked excitedly.
"No girl!" you insisted, though thoughts of Aitana flickered in your mind. "Just felt like it."
"Then why are you smiling?" he persisted, tossing a pillow your way.
"No particular reason," you lied.
"Okay. You'll tell me when you're ready," he said with a knowing smile.
Fast forward to Saturday, and Ciro settled into his new job quickly. He primarily worked with the men’s side, working on Gavi and Balde, the most serious injuries at the moment.
On Saturday, he was to finally meet the women’s side in preparation for the game. Patri was the first to arrive, followed by Pina and Bruna. Aitana was the last, there for additional ankle support.
Upon seeing Ciro, Aitana gave him a strange look, as if he reminded her of someone.
"Hello?" Ciro greeted, puzzled by her expression.
Quickly snapping out of it, Aitana apologized, "Oh, hi, sorry! You kinda looked like someone familiar. I apologize if I gave you a weird look." Extending her hand, she introduced herself, "I’m Aitana."
"Hi. I’m Ciro. I’m the new physio. What can I do for you?" he responded.
During their time together, Ciro realized that Aitana was very chatty about nerdy things like books and coffee places—things that reminded him of you and how well you two would get along.
"You said you just came back from Man City, right?" Aitana asked.
"Yes, I did," Ciro replied.
"Did you know that the first atom was split there?" she commented, making Ciro chuckle. She would really get along with you.
"I think you’d be friends with my sister. She said the same thing when I left to go there," Ciro remarked.
"I guess it’s common knowledge," Aitana stated confidently.
"No, it’s not. But I’ll reply the same way I replied to my sister: who cares about atoms, when Manchester is home to the annual World Pie Eating Championship," Ciro chuckled.
"You got a girlfriend there?" Aitana asked unexpectedly.
Blinking at the question, Ciro replied with a crooked smirk, "Why, are you interested?" It was playful banter, no ulterior motives.
Raising her hands defensively, Aitana replied, "Nope, you’re not really my type."
"Then I should really introduce you to my sister," Ciro teased.
"Nah, I’m already interested in someone else. I’m sorry," Aitana smiled brightly.
"Too bad," Ciro finished up her ankle. "You’re all set. I’m sorry if this conversation was unprofessional. Please don’t report it to the club," he added with a tense smile.
"Don’t worry. We were just talking. But I do have to say, the more I see you, the more you look like a person I know," Aitana observed.
"Well, I hope they are great. I don’t want to leave a bad impression," Ciro replied.
"She’s wonderful," Aitana said before heading to the pitch.
Meanwhile, you were getting ready with Eva to go to the Estadi Johan Cruyff.
"So your brother’s back in town for good?" Eva asked.
"Yeah, he’s currently crashing at my apartment until he gets a flat of his own. Feels like we’re back to being teenagers living together for Uni," you replied, putting on Aitana’s shirt and giving it a subtle sniff.
"How’s that going?" Eva raised her eyebrows.
"So far, so good. She’s my friend," you reassured her.
"So, you told her about your condition, right?" Eva asked sternly.
You fell silent. "I’ve been meaning to! I just haven’t found the time yet."
"You need to tell her," Eva urged.
"I know. Let me just ignore it for a little longer," you replied hesitantly.
"She won’t go away, you know that?" Eva reassured you.
"I don’t care about that. We’ve only met three weeks ago. I don’t have some sick attachment issues, okay? I... I just really care about her," you admitted.
"I know you do. Or else we wouldn’t be going to a football game just to see her," Eva said with a smile.
At the Estadi Johan Cruyff, Aitana had secured great seating spots for you. As they warmed up, you couldn’t take your eyes off her. When she spotted you in the crowd, her face lit up with a huge smile, and she excitedly waved at you.
The game started quickly, with Aitana making a significant impact on the field. Her passing was precise, and she dribbled past opponents effortlessly. 
In the first 15 minutes, she had already made an assist and nearly scored a goal. At the thirtieth minute, she scored a remarkable goal from outside the box, prompting you to cheer loudly.
However, the next action worried you. A harsh tackle left Aitana clutching her ankle in pain. Thankfully, your brother quickly tended to her, and she was able to continue playing, albeit with some discomfort. At halftime, Ciro was still with Aitana, leaving you concerned. But what concerned you more was that she didn’t return for the second half, replaced by another player.You quickly sent a text to Ciro, hoping he’d see it.
**You:** Where are you?
**Ciro:** I’m at work, idiot. You saw me.
**You:** I know, but right now? Is everything okay with Aitana?
**Ciro:** Yes, why? Why are you so concerned?
**You:** She’s my friend. Can I come and see her?
Aitana was perched on the physio bed, visibly annoyed that they’d taken her off at half-time.
“Hey, Aitana,” Ciro turned to her, puzzled by her behavior, away from his phone. “How do you know my sister?”
She looked at him, puzzled. “Who’s your sister?”
“Y/n?” He stated, as if it were obvious.
“Like Y/n Y/ln? You’re his brother?”
“Yeah!”
“I didn’t know that! She never mentioned she had a brother. That’s why you looked like her!”
“She wants to come and see you. I can’t let her in, but you can if you want.”
Aitana blushed lightly, a fact Ciro noted but didn’t comment on. Internally, she thanked him for it.
“Yeah, of course she can come if she likes.”
He smirked knowingly, making her blush again. “I’ll go get her. Then we’ll have a small talk on how you have the hots for my sister,” he teased, leaving the room.
As soon as you saw Ciro in the hallway, you understood immediately that he had something in mind.
“Since when do you know Aitana Bonmatì?”
“Since I worked on her Ballon d’Or. We’ve become friends.”
“Only that?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, Ciro. Only that.”
“Doesn’t seem like it. You are way too worried.”
“Shut up,” you smacked his stomach hard, making him whine. “And not a word about this around her, understood?”
“Can I say one thing?”
“Then you’ll shush?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“She’s really nice and chatty. I get why you like her. Plus, she’s really hot, not to mention your type?”
“You really want me to get violent on you?” You hit him again.
“Ow!”
“You deserved it.”
“You didn’t deny it though…” You hit him again, this time harder. “This one was my fault. I take it back.”
You both reached the door to the physio room. “Now get back to work, Ciro.”
“So bossy! I hope Aitana likes this side of you!” He teased, and you replied with a glare that clearly said, "I’m going to hit you." Your patience was really getting tested. “Bye!” He quickly left to get back on the pitch, while you opened the door.
She was sitting still on the physio bed, with some ice on her ankle, still dressed for the match, and lightly pouting.
“Hey,” as soon as she turned to you, she brightened up.
“Hey!” You approached her. “How’s your ankle?”
You took her in, noticing she looked exhausted even though she only played for 45 minutes. Even though you saw her play, you were glad they let her rest.
“It’s good. They took me off for ‘precautionary measures,’” she rolled her eyes.
“I’m glad you’re healthy,” you replied, turning around to show her you were wearing her jersey.
She grabbed both sides of the jersey and dragged you in between her legs. “You have it on!” she said excitedly.
“Of course! I only wear the best! Great game, by the way,” you lightly caressed her thigh, next to her knee, to give her some reassurance. “You scored a banger!”
“Thank you. I’d rather have played more, though,” she pouted, making you smile at her cuteness. “By the way, what was your secret plan to make me distracted?”
You chuckled lightly, completely forgetting. “Plan A was to distract you just by my presence,” you bragged jokingly, making her giggle and earning you a poke in the ribs.
“That’s not true. You just didn’t think of anything to distract me with,” she said confidently.
“Maybe.”
“What was plan B, then?”
“Becoming a pitch invader or just flashing you,” you said dramatically.
“I would’ve definitely loved to see that,” she gave you a playful smirk, lightly gripping your waist a little harder.
You chuckled, smacking the back of her head. Then, you looked at her properly, changing the mood of the conversation. Her eyes looked so tired. “You look exhausted. You still have the elastic band in your hair. Isn’t it uncomfortable?”
“I’m just too lazy to take it off,” she confessed bluntly.
You rolled your eyes and then gently took it off her. “There you go. Do you want me to take out your ponytail too?” You looked into her eyes once again.
“You don’t have to. I can do it on my own,” she said shyly.
“I know you can, but then I wouldn’t have an excuse to be near you.”
Her face softened, making you melt like chocolate under the sun. She nodded slowly, and you sprang into action. Taking a step closer, you gently took off the elastic band and looped it around your wrist. You scratched her scalp a little, making her release a relaxed sigh. Chuckling lightly, you took a step back to give her some space. As you were about to take another step, she quickly grabbed you, bringing you even closer to her. Swallowing some of the tension, you realized she was in control now and wanted you closer. You quickly looked at her lips, then back to her powerful gaze.
“You don’t have to find an excuse to be closer to me. I always want you near me all the time,” you tucked your head down to hide your blush, not wanting to show her how much those words had affected you. She gently grabbed your chin and raised it to her level.
“Don’t hide from me. I love it when you blush,” she teased.
“Stop doing that,” your face flushed again.
“Doing what?”
“Being all confident and so close to me. It’s distracting.”
She smirked in response. “Maybe that’s the effect I want you to feel. I’ll let you go if you feel uncomfortable,” she reassured you.
You replied by simply placing your hands on the sides of her face, playing lightly with her baby hair.
“We’ve been skirting around it for two weeks now. Don’t you feel the same pull towards me that I have with you? It’s consuming, and it feels so good,” she admitted.
It was intense, obliterating in a sense, yet you couldn’t resist it. You hated not feeling in control. Acting upon these feelings wouldn’t be fair to her.
“I feel it too,” you removed your hands from her and took a step back, seeing her expression change. You could feel her disappointment. “So much. But I can’t,” you sighed defeatedly. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Why?” she asked vulnerably. “Do you have a secret boyfriend or something?”
You took a deep breath and decided to tell her. She deserved to know. You couldn’t continue like this.
“Aitana, I have ca—”
The door opened, and the entire team barged in. You subconsciously took another step back and let the team swarm Aitana. They were checking up on her, but her eyes never left yours.
“Hey, you’re the art restorer!” Patri pointed out.
You quickly changed your demeanor to something more cheerful. “Yes, I just came in to say hi to Aitana. I was just about to leave. I’ll see you.”
You quickly left to reunite with Eva and then headed home.
Later that night, you were going to a club to celebrate your colleague Pablo’s birthday, but for you, it was also the last party before you had to start your treatment.
The whole thing with Aitana earlier that day had left a bitter taste in your mouth. You felt like an asshole and couldn’t shake the feeling that things could have gone better between the two of you.
Realising that you never asked for her phone number and that you had finished your work for the club, you concluded that you probably wouldn’t see her again.
So when you left for the beach bar with your friends, you decided to indulge in some vodka. Eva didn’t question it. She knew that sometimes, when you were out with your friends, you stopped being the responsible one and drank more than usual to have some fun. Pablo and Eva always made fun of you because you never had filters and would always create chaos, but you never went overboard.
You were in the middle of the night, two drinks in, and you started telling your friends that you loved them. They only chuckled in response. You alternated between depressing states and euphoric ones, making Eva, who was also intoxicated, extremely confused.
The whole night shifted again when you saw a group of girls entering the bar, including the one girl you thought you’d never see again. As soon as she saw you, she tried to approach you. She wanted to talk about the conversation you had earlier that day, but you tried to drunkenly escape the conversation. It did not work.
A few moments later, you were met with her standing in front of you while you were sitting down at the bar stools. She saw that you were drunk, and her serious appearance faded for a moment. 
“Can we—Are you drunk?” she asked.
“Yep,” you confessed without even trying to hide it. “What are you doing here?”
“We are out celebrating the win. What are you doing here?”
“The birthday party,” you slurred. She had her nose ring on. You loved it when she wore it. “You have your nose ring on. I really like it,” you tried to raise your hand to touch it, but she quickly stopped you.
“How much did you drink?” she asked, concerned.
“Not that much. Why are you so serious? I don’t like it when your face scrunches up.”
She chuckled at your drunkenness. “You are so drunk. I’ll take you home.”
“Nooo. You just got here, plus my friends are about to leave,” you protested.
“It’s no biggie. You need to get home to sleep it off.”
“I think I should. On Monday, I have my first treatment. I shouldn’t feel hungover,” you blurted out.
“You have your first what?”
“Can I have a kiss?”
“What?”
“A kiss. You know, the ones you give to a person with the lips,” you explained, while she slowly took your hand and led you out of the bar.
“I know what a kiss is. I don’t think I should give you a kiss, given your current state. And the fact that a few hours ago you rejected me.” You were out now.
“Wait. Why are we outside?”
“I’m taking you home.” She states.
“You tricked me. You are one little sneaky son of a bitch.” You pout, making her laugh.
“You drunk, is the highlight of my day.”
“That’s so sad.” You cover your mouth with your hand childishly. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She giggles in response. “I still want a kiss from you. And I want to you to know that I didn’t in fact reject you. I just told you that I can’t.” You specify.
She leads you to her car without you realizing it. “I hope you are not one of those people who takes me to their car and then try to kill me.” She opens the car door and helps you inside.
She buckles your seatbelt, and due to the closeness, you blurt out. “You are very beautiful. The most perfect face.”
She chuckles, lightly shaking her head. “You are very beautiful too.” She gives you a quick kiss on the temple and round the car to get to the driving seat.
“Was it that difficult to give me a kiss?” You ask her rhetorically, making her roll her eyes at you.
“Can you tell me your address?” She sat down on the driver’s seat and gently turned your head towards her to get some attention.
“I don’t wanna go home. My brother is there.” You whine. “Let’s go to the beach.” You say excitedly. 
“Y/n you are drunk. If you don’t tell me your address I’ll bring you to my home.” Aitana tells you seriously. 
“Is that an invite?” You smirk suggestively.
“Get your head out of the gutter, Y/n.” 
“Calm down. I was just joking!” You grinned.
“I should probably text Eva.” You sober up and sent her, very slowly, a text.
**You** I’m going hmoe with hot footballer. See you on mnoday. I’m drukn but I love you.
The drive pretty much sobered you up. You were still blabbering nonsense to Aitana, talking to her about the most random things. When you arrived, you quickly noticed that you weren’t in your apartment complex.
“I knew it. You brought me here to kill me,” you said, fed up.
“We are at my home.”
You opened the car door and got out before she could help you. “This whole building is your house?!” you said, shocked, while she quickly walked up to you.
“No, you idiot. I have an apartment,” she giggled lightly.
“You are enjoying this, aren’t you? Getting to see me like this.”
“I am definitely enjoying this. Too bad I can’t make any videos of you like this,” she said, placing a hand behind your back to stabilize you until you got to her apartment.
You curiously wandered around her living room, taking in her home. It was just like her. Every decoration, every piece of furniture reflected her in some way, only something was missing.
“You should get some artwork to fill up the walls. Your house is beautiful, Aitana.”
“Thank you. I guess you can definitely help with that, don’t you think?”
“Not in this condition.” You sat on the couch, while you waited for her to join you.
“You wanted to talk?”
“Not with you like this, tomorrow morning?” she offered, but you weren’t on board with that.
So, with a swift movement, you sat on her lap, taking Aitana by surprise. You placed her hands on your waist and blurted out. “I’ll talk then. I really like you, but I can’t be with you right now. The connection you feel between us is so real and intense that it scares me. You have been one of my biggest blessings in disguise since you came into my life.”
“I’d rather talk about this when you’ll remember it, but I really like you, and I would like to know why we can’t be together.”
You were sober enough to stop yourself from telling her the truth. “I’ll tell you tomorrow morning, I promise.”
You gently rubbed her shoulders, feeling all her muscles, making you giggle.
“What?” she asked, tickling you for a second or two. She was back to being her unserious self, and her crinkle disappeared. Probably it was because she knew that you were safe now.
“You are so muscular.” You squeezed her biceps. “If we were in a zombie apocalypse, would you protect me from all the zombies? You go fend off our enemies while I do the housewife and part-time art restorer. Maybe zombies make art, who knows?”
“Okay, I will,” she indulged you.
“You promise?” You asked her seriously.
“Yes.”
“Pinky promise?” You raised your pinky, and she laced it with hers. “Now it’s sealed.”
“Let’s go to bed,” she spurred you to stand up and walked you to her bedroom. She quickly gave you some spare clothes to change, leaving the room for you to have some privacy. She gave you some Barcelona shorts and one of her old t-shirts.
Somehow, every item had her typical perfume, and that special something that was characteristically hers. You were now a little more sobered up, which made you less chatty and with some inhibitions.
As you opened the door of her bedroom to see where she was, you saw that she was getting the couch ready to sleep.
“Aitana, come to bed. I can take the couch. You already did more than enough for me today.”
“It’s no biggie,” she shrugged.
“No, it’s a big biggie.” You walked up to her and literally dragged her into her own bedroom. “You take the bed.”
“Then we’ll both take it.”
“We can do that.” You waited for her to take her usual side, then you climbed on the other side. She turned off the light, and you moved to your side to face her. “Thank you for tonight. You didn’t have to, but you still took care of me. You are truly one of the most amazing people I know.”
She kissed your forehead. “Goodnight, Y/n.”
She laid on her back, making you subconsciously go near her as much as possible, until you looped your arm around her waist and cuddled into her. In response, she gave you another kiss on the temple and nuzzled into you.
The next morning, you woke up with a headache. An arm was keeping you down, and as you opened your eyes, confusion swept over you.
Aitana was still softly sleeping on your side. Memories of last night flooded back into your mind. You guessed that she felt you stir awake because not even a minute after you had woken up, she woke up too.
“Good morning,” she said gently, moving away from you and sitting up, quickly stretching herself. You basically mimicked her movements on the other side of the bed and followed her to the living room.
“Coffee?” she offered.
“Definitely,” you replied, sitting down at her kitchen table. “Can I have a glass of water? My head is killing me.” She quickly retrieved it for you and got back to preparing the coffee. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable last night.”
“You didn’t. I’ve thought about what you told me yesterday: that you can’t be with me because it wouldn’t be fair to me. I think… no, I’m certain, that we can work it out together,” she said hopefully. She was still standing when you chuckled sadly.
“Aitana, you don’t know how much I’d want that. But being with me right now isn’t worth it, and I won’t ask you to wait for me because that wouldn’t be fair to you,” you admitted sadly.
“I’ll be the judge of that. Whatever it is, we can—”
“Aitana, I have cancer.”
Now she sat down. “You told me you had anemia,” she said defensively, not really believing you.
“I do also have anemia. That’s why I’ll start chemo so late from the diagnosis,” you released a sigh.
“Is—is it curable?” she almost whispered, almost not knowing how to take the news.
“Thankfully, I found out early about the tumor. The doctors said a 70% success rate.”
“Where is it?”
“Thyroid cancer. It’s a little bump next to my vocal cords.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she pleaded, almost offended.
“Because...I didn’t want you to see me in a different way,” you confessed as your voice cracked vulnerably.
“I could never see you in a bad light. You are a fighter, Y/n, remember it.”
“Do you understand why I can’t be with you?”
“Yes, and I call it bullshit,” she remarked determinedly.
“What—”
“You know, statistics say that only 30% of relationships last the first year. You literally have more hope to live than us being together.”
“And so?”
“And so, why are you denying us to yourself?”
“Maybe because in the next month, all my hair will fall off, I’ll be as weak as I’ll ever be, and I won’t be able to work anymore?” you said sarcastically. “Do you really want a girlfriend like that?”
“I want you, Y/n. We’ll just have to go through the bad times first before the good parts.”
“You know, Aitana Bonmatì, you are one stubborn woman. You never stop until you get what you want, huh?”
She nodded confidently.
“Can’t you see I’m trying to give you an out? For God’s sake, I have cancer! I might die, and I don’t want you to ruin your life to take care of me. I can’t be that selfish. I care about you way too much!” you replied exasperated, still with your head pounding.
She rounded the table and knelt down next to your legs, taking your hands. “It’s not a decision you can make for me. If you won’t let me be there for you as your girlfriend, then I’ll be there for you as a friend. For the record, I care about you too. And even if you already have Eva and Ciro, I won’t let you go through this alone.”
“We could never be friends, you know that?” you gently caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch.
“I know. But you are in control, okay? Let me just be there for you, please,” she practically begged you in the last part. You made her stand up while you thought for a moment.
“You won’t surrender, will you?” Your face adorned with a sad smile, while she shook her head. “I’m just a stranger, Aitana.”
“You are way more than that, and you know it,” she paused for a second. “You would do the same for me.” You nodded. You’d probably do worse if you found out that she had cancer.
"Let's take things slow, okay?" you concede, rising from your seat and placing your coffee cup on the table. "I should probably go home. Tomorrow I start chemotherapy, and I should probably rest," you say with a tinge of sadness. Making your way to Aitana's room, you change back into your clothes. After about five minutes, there's a knock on the door.
She slowly opens it. "Do you need me to drive you home? It's no biggie," she offers.
You nod slowly. "Can I come with you for your chemo?" she asks, her voice tentative, not wanting to overstep.
"I don't want you to see me like that," you explain, seeing her disappointment. "But maybe you could come and pick me up afterwards? We can go to lunch somewhere," you suggest.
"I'd love that," she replies with a small smile. "By the way! I think it's time for you to give me your phone number! I still can't believe we haven't exchanged numbers," she chuckles, and you hand her your phone.
She bursts into a giggle, sending you a knowing smirk. "I'm glad to hear that Eva is happy you went home with a hot ass footballer. The next part of the text, it's better that I don't say," she teases, causing you to blush profusely.
"I'm sorry," you mutter, covering your face with your hands.
"Oh no. I love it," she counters, smirking confidently as she tosses your phone back to you. As you unlock it to read Eva's texts, a smile tugs at the corners of your lips.
**Eva** Fucking finally!
Now go and sex up that hot ass footballer!
"Damn it!" you exclaim, exasperated, prompting a chuckle from Aitana.
The drive back home is mostly silent. As she stops right next to your door, you're unsure how to bid her goodbye. It's been a heavy morning for both of you, and you need time to process everything. You had intended to push her away, give her an out. But she refused to give up, surprising you.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right? You'll text me?" she asks, her voice tinged with insecurity.
You reassure her with a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tani. Thank you for everything." With that, you exit the car and wave one last time before entering your home.
Sitting on the couch with a sad expression, you stare at the turned-off TV. You feel awful, like you've made Aitana feel awful. Groaning loudly, you bury your face in your pillow.
Ciro emerges from the guest room, eyeing you. "Rough night?" he asks.
"I told her," you confess.
He sits next to you and pulls you into a hug. "Did it go badly?"
"No, I guess. Is it bad if I wish she had just told me to get out of her life?"
"No," he replies, rubbing your back soothingly. "But I'm glad she'll stick around."
Meanwhile, Aitana returns home and collapses on the couch, her face turned toward the wall. She lets out a light but painful sob.
"Damn it."
In the afternoon of the same day she found out of your cancer, she had a recovery session at Barcelona. For the first time ever, she just wanted to stay home.
Despite being off during all her training, her teammates didn’t ask what was going on, as she's not one to let her emotions affect her play. But that day, she was anything but focused. Ciro noticed and approaches her during a water break.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi, Ciro," she greets him, trying to hide her emotions.
"You good?"
"I'm good. Just tired."
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Aitana nods and rejoins her teammates.
"When did you become friends with the physio? Are you over the Art Restorer?" Keira asks.
"Her name is Y/n, and that's her brother," Aitana replied emotionless.
"The hot gene really does run in their family," Patri remarks, earning a smack from Keira.
Your first chemo treatment isn't as bad as you feared. Your energy isn't drained at all; in fact, you're super alert, probably because of the steroids.
Aitana arrives half an hour early and joins you in the hospital treatment room.
You're nearly finished; you just have to complete the saline shot.
"Hey, how are you?" Aitana enters the room and gives you a quick hug before sitting beside you. You'd be lying if you said you weren't happy to see her. Her smile melts away your worries in an instant. She's here, and that's enough to lift your spirits.
"I'm nearly done. How's training?" you ask.
"It's good. We worked on free kicks and rondos, so some light stuff. I brought you some snacks," she says, handing you dried fruits and nuts. "I read that the first chemo might make you feel drowsy, and since you also have anemia, I brought you some food with iron."
You smile softly, thanking her with a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Tani." Opening the bag, you search for some almonds. "I hate raisins," you remark.
"Just give them to me," she offers, and you quickly pass all the raisins to her as you eat the rest. "I don't know how you like raisins," you say, giving her a disgusted look.
"They're just fruit," she chuckles.
"How was the treatment? Do you feel sick?" she asks, worry evident in her voice.
"For now, no, probably because of the steroids. I should bring something to do next time," you say, your gaze softening. "About yesterday, we're good, right? I felt like we left each other on a bitter note.”
"It's okay. It was a pretty intense day. Let's just move forward, okay? So, I'm thinking... Let's go get some food, then we'll start our DreamWorks/Disney marathon. What do you say?"
For the past two weeks, the two of you had been discussing doing a movie marathon, and since you both liked kids' movies, you settled on that. However, there was one point of contention: she argued that Disney movies were better, while you favored DreamWorks. So the two of you had started arguing about which was best, and the winner was yet to be decided.
"I'm feeling great! We don't have to barricade ourselves in one of our homes. We can go to the beach and maybe take a walk," you offer, not wanting to confine her to spending the entire day indoors with you, knowing she's a very active person.
"Oh no! We have to finally settle this debate! It's been going on for too long now! Plus, you're going to need all the rest you can get, and I don't mind keeping you company," she insists.
"Are you sure?" You check once again.
"Yes, I'm sure," she reassures you.
Her idea proves to be right because as soon as you get home, you feel the steroids wearing off, with a sudden tiredness enveloping your body. As you drive to your home to start the movie marathon, Aitana notices almost immediately, quickly taking your hand and gently squeezing it, not letting go until you arrive.
"Your home is so full of books! I love it," she says excitedly as she steps inside your house.
"I love reading, and I have a college degree and currently doing my second specialization. I guess I have been the culprit of the death of some trees," you joke.
You fetch your grandma's blankets that she knitted for you, then return to the living room.
Aitana is already sitting on the couch with her arms open, waiting for you. Despite wanting to be held by her, you fear she might feel uncomfortable, so you sit on the opposite side.
She looks at you quizzically and then drags you to lay on top of her. You release a content sigh and proceed to hug her sides, fully taking in her body against yours. "Didn't you get the memo? From now on, I'll be your designated cuddle buddy," she giggles.
"Oh my god! How stupid! I completely forgot!" you joke.
She holds you tighter as you search for a movie to watch together, settling on "The Little Mermaid." You start to drift off, only remembering a faded kiss on the temple and a whispered, "You rest. I'll be here when you wake up, mi sirenita."
Approximately an hour later, Ciro returns home after spending the day with the men's team. He's really worried about you and how the treatment went, but he doesn't expect what he sees. You're lightly sleeping on top of Aitana, while she watches a movie on TV.
"Hey," he whispers.
Aitana's head shoots up to look at him. "Hey. She just fell asleep; the drugs wore off, and she got tired."
He smiles softly at the sight of his sister with someone who cares enough to be with her, even while she's sleeping. "How are you feeling?" he asks her.
"Oh, I'm good. She let me come inside while she finished up her treatment, and we had lunch at that place she always talks about."
"I'm glad she lets you be with her. She's stubborn, but don't give up. She'll come around," he reassures her.
She looks at you. "I really hope so," then turns back to Ciro. "Oh, you should text Eva! Y/n told me that she would text her, but I guess she forgot; she might be worried." Hearing all of this chatter, you stir awake, still drowsy.
"Tani, where is all this sound coming from?" you asked her groggily, still keeping your eyes closed.
"Ciro is here," she informed you.
"Hi Ciro," you lightly waved at him, then cuddled up against Aitana once again.
"Hey, how was chemo?"
"Tiring," you replied.
"I can see," he chuckled.
You raised your arm to show him the middle finger. "Okay! I'll wake you up later; you have to call mom."
You grunted at the thought. "Okay, okay. But now let me sleep."
"Do you want to go to bed?" Aitana asked you.
"You are too comfortable!" you replied.
"Why don't we go to bed? We'll be even more comfortable," she giggled.
"Okay," you slowly removed yourself from her and walked with her to your bedroom.
As soon as Aitana laid down on the bed, you resumed the same position as before. You indeed were more comfortable.
"You are the best cuddle buddy, Tani. Thank you." You gave her a kiss on the corner of her lips and fell back into a deep slumber.
Approximately an hour later, you woke up. You patted your bed to find Aitana, but she wasn't there. You quickly got out of bed, feeling a little better, and went to the living room to get a cup of water. In the kitchen, you found Ciro.
"Where's—"
"She left about five minutes ago; she had to do some media stuff with Barcelona, and she didn't want to wake you," he explained.
For the next two weeks, you had fallen into a routine. Whenever you had chemotherapy, Aitana would take you back for lunch away from the hospital, and sometimes you would take small walks together or watch movies if you were extra tired. In those two weeks, you had gotten a chance to know her better. The more you talked to her, the more you couldn't picture yourself without her. 
She was incredible. But most importantly, you loved how she made you feel. She was always so supportive, never failing to make you smile, but most importantly, she was ever-present.
Eva and Ciro would tease you so much because whenever she was around, you became a completely different person: nicer and more compliant. However, the mood from the first two weeks changed when you started losing hair.
You never really gave much thought to your hair; it was long and wavy, and honestly, you never thought about how being bald would actually make you feel. When single locks of hair started falling out, it was really a punch into reality. You had cancer, and your hair was falling out. Still, you didn't tell Ciro or Eva about it, and especially not to Aitana.
You were currently cuddling up next to her while she gently caressed your back. You had just finished your treatment for the week, and you were more exhausted than usual. Your throat was hurting, and your legs were aching as if you had just run a marathon. Aitana was rambling on about a book she started reading that you suggested.
"It's actually so good, no wonder you have great tastes in books," she lightly praised you, giving you a kiss on the scalp. She then tucked your hair behind your ear, but the lock remained in her hand.
"Since when have you been losing hair, Y/n?" she asked softly.
You moved away from her and sat on the couch, realizing that you had just lost another lock of hair. "It's been a week now," you uttered sadly. "Let's just not think about it, okay? I don't want to talk about it," you got defensive.
One thing that you didn't want was for Aitana to see you actually sick or suffering the consequences of cancer. One thing was tiredness, but another thing was losing hair.
"Do you maybe want to shave it all off?" she tried.
"Aitana, I don't want to talk about it, please."
"Okay, okay. I'll stop talking." You felt ashamed and embarrassed that she saw you like this, weak. So you completely closed off from her.
"It's getting late," you looked at your watch. "Tomorrow you have practice, and I have to study. I think that you should leave."
"Wha—"
"Aitana, please," you pleaded, with a vulnerability in your voice that you really didn't want to show.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped." With that, she left.
You took a loud sigh and went to the bathroom. Your brother's electric razor sat on the counter, and you just looked at it, unable to bring yourself to use it. You tried to convince yourself that you weren't actually losing her, but that didn't quite work.
Whenever you touched your hair, a lock would fall off. It was time to shave it off. Sitting down on the bathroom floor, you sighed deeply. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice when your brother came back home.
He appeared in the bathroom after a couple of minutes. "There you are! I thought you left. Where is Aitana?"
"I told her to leave," you said absently, still looking at the razor. He looked confused, both by your state and how you had kicked out Aitana. "My hair started to fall off. I've been trying to shave it off all afternoon, but I can't." You broke down crying at the last sentence.
"Gosh, I feel so stupid! I never bothered until now about my hair, and now all of a sudden, I can't get rid of it!" Frustrated, you punched your leg.
He sat down next to you and grabbed the razor from you. "But it's not just hair, isn't it?" he stated simply. "Losing hair is a physical reminder of what you are going through. It's scary, especially because you are someone who deals with problems by ignoring them."
You released a choked-out chuckle. "It's scary. You have cancer, you can die. Just like dad. And losing your hair may feel like you are out of control, like your body isn't responding to you anymore like before. But it's just hair." He turned on the razor. "Hair will grow again eventually." He moved the razor next to his scalp, making you react almost immediately.
"What are you doing?" You tried to move his hand away from his hair, but he wouldn't budge.
"I'm showing you that you are not alone, and for as long as you are in this fight, we are in this together." He quickly shaved a whole strip of his hair.
"Are you an idiot! Why did you do that?!" You said angrily, knowing that he would most probably pull off something like this, and even if you begged him not to do it on multiple occasions, he still did it. He didn't bother with your angry tone as he kept shaving off his hair until he was nearly all bald.
"See! It's just hair. Losing your hair is tough, but you know what? It's just another step until you get better. You are a fighter, and you are stronger than this." You were at a loss for words, so you just hugged him.
"Did you search on Google how to talk with your family member who has cancer?" You chuckled lightly, trying to break a little tension.
"I did," he said honestly, earning a small giggle.
You stayed a while inside his embrace, but then you soon remembered why you were in the bathroom. "I think I'm ready to shave it off.”-
After a very intense and emotionally charged afternoon, you found yourself sitting on the couch wearing one of your old Adidas beanies. You realized that one drawback of being bald was the constant feeling of coldness. Touching your head without any hair on it was something you had to get used to. It felt strange yet oddly cathartic, signaling your readiness to continue with the treatment.
"So, are you going to tell me why you kicked out that poor girl who's been following you like a lost puppy since you met her?" Ciro jumped on the couch to sit next to you.
"She's not a lost puppy."
"Well, she's been ever-present, bringing you food and always taking naps with you even when she could be doing other stuff."
"Don't make me feel guilty," you said defensively.
"That's exactly what I'm trying to do. You haven't fully given her a chance, and I believe she wouldn't want anything more than for you to give her a chance. You are all she talks about." His confession made your cheeks redden, trying to hide away the stupid smile forming on your face.
"I don't want to hurt her," you uttered sadly.
"By pushing her away, you are doing just that."
"I know, but what if I give her a chance and it goes wrong? What if she decides it's too much, or I don't make it? I can't deal with that."
"What if it works? You're simply denying yourself some happiness, which I think you fully deserve."
"Why are you being so wise today?" You tried to change the subject.
"I'm just trying to help out my sister, plus I really hope that if the two of you get together, she'll stop talking about you during the physio sessions. That girl is chatty," he chuckled.
"I should probably go and talk to her," you said.
"She should be home; she told me she needed to rest for tomorrow's practice."
You put on your coat and left for Aitana's apartment with newfound determination. 
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