#i felt really really seen from dms and comments i have received the past two days

[lolliputian]

Had a weekend where I pushed myself hard creatively and got a lot of amazing feedback from it. My brain is melted, but my heart is happy. 💙

[whiteqnn]

PURE [3] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

A/N: Over 1 thousand notes. You guys are insane. I can’t see any other explanation.

Thank you so much for all the love and support under the previous parts, all those comments just absolutely made my day! I would never expect this story to receive such a positive feedback, which I’m extremely grateful for! 

Anyway, I decided to add some additional plot to this story - mainly, the sudden criticism and hate directed on Y/N after the last Among Us stream. I thought it would make things more interesting.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the third part ^^

part 1

part 2 

part 4 

part 5

PURE [3]

Y/N stared at her phone screen, reading through the latest tweets of her friends inviting their fans to watch their streams. It was Thursday evening and just as it was planned, everyone was getting ready for another game of Among Us. Just as she would do if it wasn’t for all those comments...

The last stream caused sudden, unexpected amounts of attention on her social media. She probably shouldn’t be that surprised by it, given the fact that by appearing in Sean’s and Felix’s videos she wasn’t all that strange to their fans. But people who watched Rae, Toast, or Corpse’s streams didn’t know her. And apparently, some of them weren’t that happy to see a new face among the group of well-known gamers. 

She always tried to avoid the unnecessary spotlight as much as she could, preferring to stay hidden somewhere behind other, much more popular streamers. And it never bothered her. She was never one to enjoy too much attention anyway.

That’s why when she discovered how upset, or even angry, some people were when she played with all those famous streamers, she was quite shocked, to say the least. 

Like all those comments under Poki’s tweet, in which she mentioned who’s gonna be playing this time...

“Duh, why’s that Y/N chick supposed to play with them again? There are at least hundreds of other, much more popular streamers I can think of who would be better than her.”

“Who the fuck is she anyway? Why’s she there?”

“lmao, some random girl who got lucky enough to know jacksepticeye. Don’t get why she’s playing with them though.”

“NOT HER AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD SHE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LAST TIME”

Sure, she wasn’t as famous as Felix, or Sean, or Rae, or anyone else for that matter. Her audience wasn’t very small, but it was nothing compared to the number of fans other YouTubers had. It was understandable that most people didn’t know who she was, and didn’t understand why she was there in the first place.

She was, in fact, just some random girl who was lucky to have Sean as her friend. But in a group of such great and well-known streamers, she definitely stood out like a sore thumb. 

Y/N almost jumped in her seat when her phone beeped with a new message, Sean’s nickname showing up at the top of her screen. 

Jackaboy: We’re starting in a few kiddo

Jackaboy: But join the call now so we can both make fun of Felix

After the last game, she was so excited and couldn’t wait for this evening. She looked forward to cooperating with Sykkuno again, to arguing with Toast, to laughing with Sean and Felix, to murdering other people with Corpse... Yet now, all this excitement seemed to vanish just like the mood to play, let alone talk with other people. They would surely see right through her and try to make her spill the beans, which would ruin the stream. And the last thing she wanted was to ruin their game.

Jackaboy: You there Y/N??

She sighed, thinking of some believable excuse that wouldn’t arouse suspicion, but her mind was flooded with all those comments and DMs she received over those past days, which expressed nothing but hatred towards her. 

Y/N: I’m really sorry Sean, but I don’t think I will be joining you today... I don’t feel very well. 

She waited for Sean’s reply impatiently, expecting him to send her some angry emoji or tell her to move her ass and join the discord call. What she didn’t expect though, was that he would facetime her. 

Her first instinct was to throw her phone across the room as if it would make Sean stop calling. He wouldn’t stop unless she’d tell him the truth. 

So she cleared her throat and plastered the widest smile on her face, before answering his call.

“Alright, what is going on?” Sean asked right away, staring at her with his brows furrowed. He wasn’t in his recording room, but in his kitchen, which meant that he left his stream to call her. “And please don’t tell me you’re sick cause I won’t believe it anyway. And neither will Pewds.”

“I’m tired, Sean... I was working late again and I really need to rest.” she lied, trying to keep her voice steady and calm. She really didn’t want Sean to interrogate her now, not when his fans were waiting for him. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else though. Please tell the guys that I’m sorry”

“Y/N, c’mon, cut this bullshit. What’s wrong?” he asked softly, moving his phone closer to his face. “You know you’re a terrible liar, just tell me what happened. If you don’t wanna play then neither do I.”

“Sean, please don’t do it” she shook her head with a sigh. “Your fans are waiting for you, I’ll be fine.”

“Well they’re waiting for you too you dummy, I already promised them you’ll be playing with us tonight” he stated matter of factly, rolling his eyes. Y/N remained silent for a moment, and Sean suddenly furrowed his brows, narrowing his eyes at her in a suspicious look. “Did someone tell you something rude last time we played? Who and what?”

“What? No, Sean, oh my God. Everyone was super nice, it has nothing to do with the last stream... not with you guys, at least.” she mumbled under her breath, dropping her eyes from Sean’s confused face.

“What do you mean not with you guys? Y/N, what the hell happened?” he demanded, slowly getting more and more worried. She wouldn’t tell him though, too scared that Sean would just laugh it off, even though he also sometimes had problems with dealing with hate. And just as if he was reading her mind, Sean sighed, his face softening in a sad smile. “You’ve read the comments, didn’t you?”

She felt so stupid for being so easily offended by comments of some random people on the Internet, that she just nodded her head meekly, still looking anywhere but at the man. 

“Look kiddo... I’m not gonna tell you to get yourself together and just ignore them, cause it won’t help, and I know cause I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still there.” he chuckled to himself and continued “Anyway, you really shouldn’t be worrying yourself about people who don’t even know you. They don’t know you, Y/N, why would some complete stranger’s opinion matter to you?”

“They said I shouldn’t be playing with you guys... that I’m nothing but a burden and you should be playing with someone who’s at least recognizable.”

“Well excuse me Miss, last time I checked I could choose who the fuck I want to play with.” Sean scoffed, clearly irritated by such comments “You’re one of my best friends Y/N and I don’t give a fuck what some haters say. And neither should you.”

“Maybe you should just invite someone else... It would make everyone happy.” she muttered almost inaudibly, but Sean almost barked at her when he heard her words.

“I told you to cut that bullshit, Y/N! Everyone couldn’t wait for this game and now you wanna back out? C’mon, kid. Do you have any idea how heartbroken Sykkuno’s gonna be? When you left so quickly last time, he kept complaining that he has no one to team up with.” she couldn’t help but smile at that, letting out a tiny giggle. “And Corpse? Have you even seen his last tweet?”

“What? No, I- I don’t follow him...” she said, wondering what Sean was talking about. She quickly searched for Corpse on Twitter, still being on facetime with Sean, and her heart almost dropped when she saw the last tweet.

@.Corpse_Husband Really excited for tonight’s Among Us stream, 8PM PST.

Jacksepticeye

Valkyrae

Pewdiepie

Pokimane

Sykkuno

Disguised Toast 

Logic 

Mr Beast

and, hopefully, my partner in crime - Little Y/N 

:)

She stared at the screen with her eyes widened, and her lips corners curling up in a small, bashful smile. It was so nice of Corpse to mention her as well, especially with the nickname that he seemed to like so much since their last game. 

“God, if you could see yourself right now. How’s it that my pep talk didn’t do shit, but Corpse’s tweet magically made you smile, ugh.” Sean reminded her of his presence, and she quickly returned to the call, trying to somehow control her burning cheeks. 

“It’s not like that, Sean, I really appreciate that you’re trying to cheer me up... I just didn’t expect your friends to like me...” she admitted quietly, and if Sean could, he would probably strangle her at that moment. 

“I JUST TOLD YOU THAT SYKKUNO KEPT BUGGING ME ABOUT YOU FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS. YOU THINK HE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOU IF HE DIDN’T LIKE YOU?!”

“I just... what if they’re just being nice, but they don’t actually want me to play with them?”

“I’m done.” Sean groaned, shaking his head furiously. “Alright, here’s what you’re gonna do. You stay away from your phone, join the discord call, say hi to everyone, and we’re all gonna have fun, okay? If not, Pewds is gonna murder you, cause he was already growing impatient even before I called you.”

“I’m still not sure if that’s a good idea, Sean...”

“But I am sure, Y/N! Now come on, we’re playing in five. I’m telling everyone you’re joining as well.”

And before she could even reply, he hung up. Y/N groaned, rushing to her computer to turn it on. Now it would just be plain rude not to join the game, especially after Sean wasted his time talking with her, while he should be talking to his fans. Just as he suggested, she kept her phone far away from her desk, deciding to stay away from Twitter and all those comments for a bit. Maybe it would help her clear her mind and at least try to have some fun. 

An invite to the group call was already waiting for her, along with a message from Sean with a code to the game. Y/N put her headphones on before joining the call and quickly typing in the code. 

“... so let me repeat myself. I ALWAYS sound guilty, no matter what. Please, guys, don’t vote me out!” 

Y/N shook her head with a smile on her lips when the first thing she heard after joining the call was Felix’s pleading voice. Clearly, he was already trying to save his own ass even before the game began.

 Y/N could hear Sean’s loud voice as he commented on Felix’s plea with some snarky remark, later also catching the sounds of Rae’s laughter. Everyone was already there, they’ve been clearly waiting for her to join. 

“Hey, look who’s finally here! Hi Y/N!” Poki noticed her presence first. 

“Hello everyone” Y/N said, as shy and quiet as usual.

“Oh, Y/N! It’s so great to see you again, I was worried you weren’t joining us tonight” Sykkuno said, a pout clear in his voice. 

“WELL ABOUT DAMN TIME” Felix all but yelled, making her roll her eyes with a smile. “What did I tell you about being late?!”

“Give her a break Felix, her mic wasn’t working again... Luckily, I was there to save the damsel in distress” Sean said, and even though she couldn’t see him, Y/N was almost certain that he was smirking. 

“Yeah, I’m really sorry guys to have kept you waiting so long...” Y/N said, feeling genuinely bad. Maybe Sean was right after all? They could have just invited someone else, and yet they decided to wait for her.  

“It’s okay, you’re here now and it’s all that matters” a deep voice sounded out, and whether she liked it or not, Y/N grinned like an idiot with a blush rising up her cheeks. 

“Shit, here we go again...” Felix sighed, making everyone else laugh. Y/N bit at her lower lip, feeling her heart thump in her chest as she felt a sudden wave of courage, deciding to speak up despite her initial shyness:

“Well... I couldn’t just leave my partner in crime alone, right?” she asked, and she could swear she heard Corpse stutter as if he completely didn’t expect her to say that.  

“Ah yes, after all, killing wouldn’t be the same without her, right Corpse?” Toast teased, repeating Corpse’s words from the last stream. Everyone in the call laughed, Y/N included. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling, even though just mere minutes ago she was on the verge of crying. “It’s good to have you here, Y/N/N. Maybe I’ll actually get a chance to finally kill you this time.”

“Jesus Christ, Toast. You sound like a psychopath. Hey, I’m happy you’re here, lemme stab you in the back, please?” someone whose nickname was MrBeast spoke up with a chuckle, before directing his next words to Y/N “I believe we haven’t played together before, I’m Mr Beast, it’s really nice to meet you Y/N”

“Yeah, pleased to meet you!” another player, Logic, spoke up “I also didn’t have a chance to play with you yet, but I’ve seen Sean’s last stream... Let me just say, that Toast murder was absolutely perfect!” 

“Wow. And here I almost managed to block it out. I’m fucking traumatized Y/N, you should be ashamed of yourself” Toast scoffed over Felix’s laughter. 

“You should be proud of yourself!” Sean interfered “Just so you know lads, Y/N may seem like a little angel, but she’s a little demon. You’ve been warned.” 

“Yeah, she’ll charm you with her voice only to snap your neck next second.” Felix scoffed.

“Just like she did with Corpse!” 

“Charm?!” Y/N gasped, her cheeks burning.

“I don’t recall Y/N killing me...” Corpse said in his low voice. 

“I love how that’s the only thing he denied” Poki pointed out in a teasing voice, which only made Y/N sink further into her chair. 

“Can we please start the game now?” she asked in a pleading voice, hoping that everyone would stop making fun of Corpse and her. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he felt, for some reason being the target of their jokes... They must’ve made him feel awkward, right? 

“Jack, did you tell Y/N how we’re playing tonight?” Sykkuno asked, and she sighed in relief that they dropped the jokes. 

“Oh, right! So there’s this mod called proximity chat, where we’re able to hear each other as we pass by another person, and it seems quite fun so that’s what we decided to try out tonight.” Sean explained to Y/N, and before she could ask another question, he added “I’ve just sent you the link, it’ll take a minute to install it.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you Sean” Y/N said, before downloading the mod and quickly installing it. When everything was set and ready, she pulled up Among Us again and typed in the code, and the game finally began. 

“Woah”

“Holy shit!” 

“Guys this is so cool!” Sykkuno exclaimed, his voice so happy and excited that Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Okay, I’m scared now. I feel like encounters with Imposter are just gonna be perfectly cut screams” Felix chuckled, as they left the dropship and moved down the map. That’s when Y/N gasped in surprise, upon seeing the locations completely different than those she was used to.

“Wait- is that a different map?” she asked through her mic, hearing Toast’s distanced, devilish laugh. There was only Rae and Sykkuno beside her, as everyone else have already split up to do their tasks.

“Oh yeah, that’s Polus, it’s much more fun than the one we were playing in last time.” Rae explained happily and Y/N groaned. She didn’t know that map.

“Great. I don’t even know how am I supposed to do tasks in here...”

“Oh, it’s not that hard. They’re in most cases similar to those you already know, they only look a little bit different.” Sykkuno said in his kind voice, before asking “Do you want to team up again, Y/N?”

“I thought you would never ask Sykkuno” Rae chuckled under her breath.

“Yeah, that would be great! I need someone to show me around” she smiled. The trio finally moved from their spot beside the dropship and went to the left where, as Y/N later realized, was electrical. She quickly did her task in there, being under the watchful eyes of both Sykkuno and Rae.  

Before the latter could do his own task, the first body was reported.

“The body is in the lab” Felix said, and Y/N couldn’t help but smirk as she saw that it was Toast who was murdered first. One less person to accuse her or try to frame her, if he was the Imposter. 

“I just ran towards the lab from the left side, I only saw Poki on my way there” Corpse said right away, and the accused girl was quick to try and defend herself:

“Okay, I wasn’t in the lab, I was doing that engines task which is next to the lab.” 

“Did you see someone else there?” Jack questioned. 

“Nope, just me and the engines.” 

“Okay. Sykkuno, where are you?” the lime astronaut was next on Jack’s list of suspects, which made Sykkuno groan. 

“Why do you sound so suspicious right away?” he asked in disbelief, causing the rest to giggle “I was with Y/N and Rae all this time, we were all doing our tasks in electrical.”

“Is that true Y/N?”

“Yes Sean, that is true” she rolled her eyes with a laugh “I don’t even know this map, I have to stick with someone so I don’t end up like Toast.”

“Alright, what about rest? Logic? I think I saw you in admin but then you disappeared somewhere.” Felix said.

“Yeah I’m with Mr Beast in the office”

“That’s right” Mr Beast confirmed, which didn’t bring anything new to the investigation, so everyone decided to skip.

“Wo- Okay where are we now?” Y/N asked in surprise, when the new round began in some completely new place Sykkuno didn’t manage to show her yet. She could hear as Corpse laughed at her shocked voice, which made her smile widely.

“Yeah, I’m also not used to this new map yet” he admitted, his black astronaut walking up to her white one “Hey, wanna see something cool?”

“Sure!”

-

*Meanwhile Sykkuno*

“Okay this is bad guys, we lost Y/N” Sykkuno said to his mic, running around the map to find the girl he was earlier teamed up with. “I thought she followed us when the new round began, but she must’ve gone the other way... What if she’s dead already? Not good, not good...” 

-

"Woah! This looks amazing! Is there some task here as well?”

“Yes, there’s temperature recording right here” Corpse said, standing by the lava pit, watching as Y/N’s character ran back and forth over the pool of lava. 

“I wonder if you could jump into it. What do you think, Corpse?” she asked curiously, standing close to the edge. 

“Not that I’m aware of it...” he mumbled coming closer to the edge as well “Why would you jump into it?” he asked with a half-smile on his face. 

“So Felix can’t stab me in the back.” she whispered, even though there was no one around them. 

“You think it’s him?” Corpse mirrored her voice, and she hummed in response “Why?”

“He’s constantly suspicious of everyone, last time we played he also kept interrogating us all, without even telling his own location.” she stated as if it was very obvious. Corpse couldn’t help but let out a laugh “What? Why are you laughing at me?”

“Not at you, Y/N. I’m just impressed by your investigation skills” he admitted “In that case, we better both jump in. Felix likes to frame other people.”

“You wanna jump into the lava with me?”

“Sure I do.”

“There you are!” Sykkuno’s lime astronaut came out of nowhere, followed by Mr Beast. Two of them walked up to Y/N and Corpse, and before the latter could even say anything, Mr Beast snapped Y/N’s neck.

“WAIT, NO-”

“OH GOD, OH GOD” Sykkuno yelled in panic.

“KILL HIM CORPSE” Mr Beast screamed, frantically running around.

-

“What the heck?” Y/N stared at her screen in shock, her dead body laying over the lava pit. Mr Beast had already fled to the left, leaving her, Sykkuno and Corpse standing between two of them. None of them said anything for a moment before the black astronaut finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N” he kept repeating, regret clear in his voice. “And Sykkuno, I- I can’t even express how-”

He was cut off by Felix’s scream, who reported the bodies before Corpse could kill him as well.

“IT’S CORPSE ALRIGHT” Felix yelled right away “HE’S STANDING OVER Y/N AND SYKKUNO, HE HAS THEIR BLOOD ON HIS HANDS”

“That is- I did not kill them” Corpse replied, calm as ever, as opposed to his frantic apologies. 

“Then why were you standing there?! Without reporting the bodies?!”

“I was... mourning their death.” he replied, which caused the whole group to burst out laughing. “Seriously guys, you think I would murder Sykkuno? And Y/N? I would never even think of hurting them.”

“The simp is strong, we get it, but it doesn’t really save your situation” Rae laughed. 

“Let’s kick him out guys, he can’t even defend himself” Sean chuckled, and everyone else didn’t need to be told twice. Soon enough, Y/N watched as Corpse’s black astronaut was thrown into the lava pit... Oh, the irony...

The game continued with her wandering around the map, doing the rest of her tasks to at least support somehow her fellow crewmates. She stumbled upon Corpse’s ghost at some point and laughed wholeheartedly when he started circling her little character in something she read as an attempt to apologize. 

A little while later another body was reported, this time it was Felix who lost his life. Y/N didn’t really focus on the conversation this time, glancing at her phone instead. There was this urge to reach for it and check how people reacted to her joining the game, but she kept repeating Sean’s words in her head. There was no point in worrying about the opinion of somebody who doesn’t even know her... or at least that’s what she tried to convince herself to think. 

Her attention was brought back to the game when she heard the sound of a new message from someone who was also dead. She clicked on the chat, seeing that it was one of the Impostors.

Corpse: :(

Corpse: I’m sorry 

Y/N thought it was sweet of him to apologize for it, even though it was his main goal to murder everyone after all. She believed he was genuinely sorry for it, just like she was each time she was an Impostor and had to kill somebody.

Sykkuno: Welcome to the afterlife, Corpse!

She laughed at Sykkuno’s constant happiness, which was evident even in his messages, before typing one as well:

Y/N: We’re all corpse here

Sykkuno: Oh, so it means we’re all really cool then ^^

Y/N: Fair point

Corpse: See Y/N

Corpse: I told you I would jump into the lava for you 

Y/N: You didn’t exactly jump...

Corpse: :(

Y/N: But let’s say it counts as well :)

Corpse: :)

Before they knew, the voting ended. Mr Beast was thrown into the lava, which ultimately lead to the victory of crewmates. Y/N cheered happily, when the blue sign appeared on her screen, right above everyone else who was innocent. 

“Yaaay, the first time I wasn’t killed in the first game!” Sean announced enthusiastically, his astronaut running around the dropship.

“Yeah, and the first time it went so fast...” 

“Right? Corpse, I’m disappointed in you. What happened to the King of Impostors?” Rae asked.

“Well.. no matter how good you are, you can’t always win, right?” Corpse replied calmly.

“Hmm, you seemed kinda absent-minded during the game, though...” Poki suggested with a smirk hiding in her voice, and Rae was very quick to pick on it.

“Oh, you’ve noticed that too? Almost as if he was distracted by something” 

“I don’t know what are you talking about” he chuckled nervously, and Y/N just sat in her chair confused about what was going on. “Anyway, who’s up for another round?” 

“Yeah, I have an idea” Sean said, effectively shutting everyone up “What if we play something along the lines of hide and seek? Let’s have one impostor, and everyone else needs to get their tasks done before he finds them.”

“That is...” Felix took in a dramatic breath “THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD ABOUT”

“Yeah, I think it will be fun” Sykkuno replied. 

“It sounds really cool, but let’s maybe tell who’s the impostor? I think it would be more fair” Rae suggested. 

“I think it’s a good idea” Sean concluded, before changing the settings for one impostor only. Y/N waited patiently for the game to begin, and when she saw that she was a crewmate again, she sighed in relief. Only to gasp in a panic a second later...

“It’s me.”

Everyone stumbled out of the dropship as Corpse admitted that he’s the impostor. It seemed that knowing exactly who can murder everyone made the whole game a little bit terrifying...

“I don’t know where the heck I’m going” Y/N mumbled to herself with a nervous laugh when instead of doing her tasks, she searched for the perfect place to hide. When she entered security, she spotted Mr Beast fixing the wires, so she decided to join him.

“OH SHIT- god damn it, you scared me to death!” he all but yelled when she appeared next to him, doing her tasks. 

“Sorry” she giggled, quickly finishing the wires, before speeding out of the room. On her way to weapons, she stumbled across Felix’s dead body, and could hear some screaming in the background... but didn’t recognize who was murdered next. 

Y/N managed to do most of her tasks without meeting Corpse, whom she hoped not to see probably for the first time since they played together. She was just leaving decontamination when she heard Sean’s panicked laughter:

“...tee, bitches love me?”

“Wrong.” Corpse’s voice almost made her squeak in surprise, only to really scream when he suddenly snapped Sean’s neck. 

“Retreat, retreat!” Y/N laughed as she sped past oblivious Rae and Logic, Corpse hot on her tail. She quickly returned to the decontamination room, hoping to flee from her inevitable death, when Corpse’s black astronaut walked in, and the door closed. 

“Please don’t kill me” she chuckled, even though there was no hope for her. 

“Finish my lyrics, and I’ll let you live...” he began, and Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion “ I spilt wine...”

“Wait- what lyrics? You sing?” she asked, completely dumbfounded. Corpse was silent for a moment as if he didn’t understand her, before bursting out laughing “What’s so funny again? Corpse, come on!” 

“Yes, Y/N, I do sing, I was actually hoping you’ve heard some of my songs...” he admitted, still chuckling to himself. She felt a blush rising up her cheeks.

“Oh- I- I didn’t, I-... but I will, okay? I’ll do it right away!” she promised, quickly jumping up to grab her phone and listen to Corpse’s song. She was genuinely shocked, she would never expect him to sing! 

 She unlocked her phone with a wide, somehow nervous smile on her face, which, however, dropped the moment she saw her notifications. Hundreds of notifications. 

“You there, Y/N?” Corpse’s voice reached her after a moment, when she still didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her screen. “I hope my music isn’t so bad that you passed out from listening to it...”

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, her phone gripped tightly in her shaking hands.

“Um, Y/N?” his voice became more worried now “Is everything okay?” 

Y/N cleared her throat and quickly wiped her eyes, closing them for a moment to steady her breathing.

“Yeah, all good Corpse” she forced herself to smile, so her voice wouldn’t sound weird. “Look, um, I need to leave, can you tell the others bye from me?” 

“Is something wrong?” Corpse asked confused.

“No, of course not!” she laughed through her tears “Something just came up and I really need to leave.”

“You sure you’re-”

“Bye Corpse. It was nice playing with you.” 

-

A/N: I hope you guys are not too disappointed in me... It didn’t turn out as I initially thought it would. Isn’t it too dramatic? And is this hate plot fine? Or is it not? What do guys you think? 

TAG LIST IS CLOSED!

@slytherin-chan @pillowjj @afuckingunicornn @love-and-virtues @ignooynim @crapimahuman @hannahjsworld @laugh-like-the-moon @fallengoddess772 @kingric03 @dolphinpink310 @paigeyisme @bunnychano3o @dxrtygxrl28 @z-nyx @baby-iyania @trashygeek

[nanathebb]

You deserve love

A/N: Hi guys! This is the first time I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m still figuring everything out 😁 Feedback is always appreciated, and requests are open (my dms too if you wanna be friends 🤗) Let me know if I should add warnings, enjoy!

Natasha believed she didn’t deserve love. It was just like that. Because of her past, the bad things she had done, she didn’t deserve to be loved. She didn’t deserve to have someone who cared about her, in more than a platonic way. She had killed, she had tortured, she had done bad things.

Why would she deserve love? There were good people in this world, genuine people. People rescuing abandoned animals, giving food to others living in the streets, or even helping move in their neighbors. She could see people giving random acts of kindness, but she couldn’t see it in herself. As she helped Peter with his homework, gave a hand to Wanda for the food, or saving the world. She thought she wasn’t kind, she wasn’t nice, she was just trying to make up for all the bad she had done. But all of the saving in the world, wouldn’t make her better in her eyes.

Those thoughts occurred in her mind most of the days. Even now, as she bumps into a complete stranger, pouring her coffee all over them, making them gasp.

Well, how cliche, she thought.

“I am so sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” Natasha starts to apologize as she looks up at the stranger in front of her.

“It’s really no problem, it’s just really hot, gosh.” The stranger replies as she tries to tug her shirt away from her as best as she can, keeping the hot liquid off her body.

Natasha glances down to the girl's chest, seeing the white fabric clinging to her body. 

Even more cliche, she told herself. 

She looked back up at the woman's face, taking a second to study her face. Her nose was scrunched up as she kept looking down at her white shirt, now stained with Natasha's coffee. She looked up at Natasha, smiling softly. Natasha could tell she was a good person. She was carrying some grocery bags, making the redhead wonder how she was not struggling. Her smile was genuine, she wasn't mad at the redhead for spilling her coffee on her, she seemed so relaxed, so happy. Natasha envied that. The redhead smiled a little. She had seen people angry for far less than that.

“It's really no big deal, I was on my way home anyway.” The stranger says with a warm smile.

“Oh please, I just ruined your shirt, let me repay you in any way I can.” The spy replies, smiling a little bigger, feeling bad for what happened.

“Well, I live down the street, some help would be nice.” The woman said motioning to the grocery bags. Natasha immediately reached for two of the bags, grabbing them.

“Of course, I'll carry them to your place, it's the least I can do.”

The woman sends a warm smile towards Natasha, as they both start walking down the street. The stranger is the first to break the silence "So what's the name of the redhead who likes to spill coffee on strangers?" she says, making Natasha chuckle slightly, catching her off guard. She wasn't expecting the comment, neither the question. She assumed the woman would recognize her, but it felt strangely comforting knowing she didn’t. 

"The name is Natasha. What's the name of the stranger who carries grocery bags almost bigger than her.” The redhead replies with a small smirk, earning a small giggle from the stranger.

"I'm Y/N. My family is coming for lunch later, and I love to cook.” She replies with a smile. She loves her family the redhead thinks.

If they are as nice as her I understand why, she thinks to herself.

"What were you thinking that was so important you didn't see me?" She asks gently, making conversation. The redhead wonders if she should tell her.

"I was thinking about how much I don't deserve love." She spills, without thinking twice.

The woman beside her stops, turning towards the spy. She stares at her for a few seconds, looking deep in thoughts, squinting her eyes. And she starts to walk again, looking in front of her.

"Why would you think that?" She asks the assassin softly, not imagining all of the things the redhead had to do to survive. The redhead thinks, not wanting to reveal herself completely, and all the bad things she did.

"I did some bad things, in the past. I don't think someone who did what I did should be loved by anyone." The Russian spy replies, revealing her daily thoughts to the woman she just met.

The beautiful woman beside her keeps walking in silence, looking ahead of her.

"I think everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone should receive acts of love and kindness. Whether it's having someone by your side every day, or just receiving a smile in the street. Everyone deserves it at some point." The woman says after some time, surprising the redhead with the angelic words she just pronounced.

Before the Russian spy can think of anything to reply, the woman continues "We all do bad things, whether it is something terrible, or something just crappy. But there is always a context, it's not always directly your fault." The stranger finishes.

A context. There is always a context. Natasha was aware of it, she knew she wasn't acting on her own, but she still did those things. Even with a gun pointed at her head, she did those things. She could have said no, and die, instead of killing.

She killed to survive. Like everyone here, she was trying to survive, in her own way. 

She looks at the woman offering her a warm smile, as they stop in front of her house. She is however unable to return it, her mind completely frozen. The woman she met a few minutes ago grabs the grocery bags, after opening her front door, telling the redhead she will be back in a second. Natasha waits by the door, still thinking about what the other woman had said. How could someone think so purely? How can someone see beauty when there is none?

She's fascinating, the redhead thinks to herself. 

The H/C woman returns, a soft smile planted on her beautiful lips, as she holds a rose enveloped in a piece of paper.

“You’re a beautiful woman Natasha, I’m sure you already know. I don’t know what you did, but the fact you still think about it, shows you care. It shows it affects you.” The woman says as she looks the redhead in the eyes. “Whatever you did, you need to forgive yourself, because you deserve to be loved.” The woman finishes with a soft smile playing on her lips. She hands the rose to the spy, the piece of paper wrapped around it.

Natasha glances down at the beautiful flower in her hands, admiring it.

“A flower with thorns can become something splendid. And someone with a dark past can shine in the future.” The woman tells Natasha, smiling still. Natasha stares at her, mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say.

“You’re breathtaking.” The superhero says in a breath, completely overwhelmed at the thought of the woman she just met. The kind woman chuckles, her lips painted with a smile, again. “There’s my number on the paper, in case you need a reminder you deserve love.” She says, closing her front door as she says goodbye, leaving the redhead outside alone.

And for the first time in a long time, Natasha believes that maybe, maybe, she deserves love.

[smol-nevi]

I don't generally make this kind of thing a habit, but I think if you happen to be on the Crystal RP Discord, aka @crystal-rp-ffxiv, you should probably be aware of this kind of behavior, so here goes.

If you're on Crystal RP and the admin team decides they don't like you, you're going to be living under a microscope while they wait for you to mess up, if not bait you, probably while making up conspiracies about you as well. As for how I know this, I was a moderator for about a week's duration and saw it first-hand.

Unapologetically lengthy post. Receipts in the link above, long version below the cut.

From the first time I looked in the mod chat I knew something was wrong. I read backwards in the channel, thinking I'd acclimate myself and see what kind of rules precedents had been set and that sort of thing. I mostly just found out that they had it out for a particular member (at the time using the name Jericho) for not much reason. They'd spent a troubling amount of time over the past few months watching him and another member like vultures, believing them to be the same person and waiting for them to make some kind of mistake that would justify banning both of them...despite keeping different schedules, having different personalities and typing habits, and visibly being two different people. The admin team had come to the conclusion that Jericho was a troll who wanted to make them look bad, and anything he said or did was scrutinized to a ridiculous degree for evidence that would corroborate their belief.

Except none of the things they believed at all were true: he'd had a minor argument via DM with the head admin Benjimir Thursby's wife, Tessariel Aerlinn, who had made an overly broad statement about anime and Asian culture. Jericho had told her that overgeneralization about 'Asian culture' is potentially racist, and she became extremely angry, saying that because she's Asian, she can't be racist against Asians. After that, it seemed that Jericho was considered fair game for whatever retaliatory actions the two of them could justify.

Even a cursory glance at actual racism in Asia pokes Tessariel's statement entirely full of holes, and having personally read the conversation I didn't see anything actually inaccurate in his statement even if she believed it didn't apply to her. I asked what he had done that would merit such a response, because it felt very disproportionate to anything I'd ever seen him do publicly, and that was what I was told. The exchange via DMs had been screencapped and kept in a channel for evidence, and while I didn't get a copy of it, I did read it, and I said that I thought it sounded awfully one-sided and punitive and would have been much better as an actual conversation. I also expressed that I was concerned how much of the channel had been solely devoted to what was basically a witch hunt, considering that some of the server members had over the course of the past couple of months commented that the admins' behavior towards Jericho seemed biased.

I basically got a pat on the head and told that my opinion was "valued" but wrong. This would happen a lot over the course of the week.

Shit continued to escalate. Their favorite punching bag, who was acutely aware of the grudge by now and probably trying to be nice and discuss something that he thought they could all talk about, brought up some articles that stated that LOTRO might be having a graphical overhaul. This actually ended in him being put into some kind of time-out mute, because "everyone knows those articles are debunked already" despite them still being hosted on reputable games news sites. Back-channel, the admin consensus was that he was in fact trying to bait Benjimir and Tessariel into somehow looking stupid in public, because [paraphrasing] 'he knows how important LOTRO is to them.'

Benjimir in fact went off publicly about how he knows the dev team and they sent him 'personalized swag' for 'being himself' and that everyone should just listen to him because he's right. Someone else made a reasonable request for sources on statements that Benjimir made about the LOTRO improvements not happening, and they immediately became the team's private #2 punching bag.

The whole time I reiterated that this was really uncomfortable and I had serious concerns about the way they were handling Jericho. And as always I received a pat on the head and was told to not worry about it, there were really good reasons for it, really. He was 'bringing down the quality of discourse' on the server somehow. Benjimir decided that the only way he would unmute Jericho is if Jericho talked directly to him, and that Jericho tried to talk to any of the more level-headed members of the team first was taken as obvious evidence that he wanted to evade rules and create problems. I asked when we planned to unmute him, and Tessariel immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had messaged me, which wasn't incorrect but the way she worded it felt highly accusatory and I was beginning to feel that I was also in trouble somehow for not agreeing with the rest of the team.

Things came to a head quickly when I woke up and looked at the mod chat and they were having an animated conversation that started with Benjimir asking if it was 'bad that he was laughing at Jericho' and most of the rest of the team talking about how he was stupid, uninformed, a troll, etc. for the sin of having some misgivings about cryptocurrency, of all the things. One of the mods self-described their behavior as bullying. I said that this was extremely unprofessional and that I thought they should keep conversation to actual moderation matters, and if they had a personal disagreement with a server member they should handle it in a personal venue, not via official server moderation channels.

I was, for the final time, patted on the head, and told that this was not something they would consider, because the moderation team 'needs to be able to vent for their mental health' (never mind that the job was not stressful except for the rest of the team committing worse behavior than the server members) and that maybe I was in fact too sensitive for the job. Benjimir heavily implied that I had become too close to Jericho and was being manipulated, managed to misgender me somehow despite my having used solely male or neutral pronouns the entire time I'd been on the server, and after relating a story in which a couple of years ago a well-liked moderator left after having the same complaints as I did (which he saw nothing at all troubling about), suggested that I should be demoted to babysitting the lore channel.

So I took some time to collect receipts, which are linked at the top of the post, and told him where to shove it.

Since that time, things have actually somehow gotten worse on Crystal RP. Benjimir posted an entire page screed vaguely talking about "rampant negativity" that stated anyone with questions should DM him.

Upon DMing him with questions, Jericho was banned, the only reason given being that he was a 'poor fit' for the server in some vague way. I was immediately banned afterwards for calling out this decision as being driven by a personal vendetta in the feedback channel and let him know afterwards via DMs in no uncertain terms that I had logged everything I needed and would be building my case (and that he is an asshole). Jericho was reinstated, though I'm not sure what the conditions of his return were as that was after my ban and I didn't ask since I didn't want to stress him out further. Benjimir also reprimanded someone for discussing asexuality, stating in a DM to them that the conversation was somehow ERP related. I called him out on this via DM as well. Tessariel was not much later caught posting my last DMs to Benjimir in an entirely unrelated server, though she didn't include the part after that where I brought up his aphobia (during Pride Month, in a server with a rainbow icon no less). Benjimir for some reason decided to suddenly start following my FC's Tumblr well after our falling-out.

And as of today (6/24), Crystal RP now has seven pages of draconian rules, because it wasn't micromanaged hard enough before or something. Notably, a lot of these rules describe behaviors that they wanted to punish Jericho for but couldn't at the time justify, or that they'd like to punish me for but have nothing they can do to me. Or they exist to justify their own behavior, as now seen in the very beginning of the channel:

"This approach also provides our volunteers with leeway to act in good faith without the burden befitting a professional occupation."

"So we afford them the means to speak openly, vent, lament, candidly and yes, sometimes crassly and raw about everything and one."

Not only did they behave unprofessionally and shit-talk before, they have now encoded in the rules that this is acceptable and even good moderator behavior, because they saw someone else do it so it's fine (a lot of this wording is very similar to what I was told when I protested it). So rather than address anything I ever said past or present, Benjimir is choosing to double down and giving himself and his team explicit permission to be shitty, right in the opening paragraphs where you'd have expected a mission statement or at least some sort of welcome.

Which is about all you need to know about that server and its owners, in my estimation. I'd considered not even posting to Tumblr about it, but given that it's only getting worse, I think it should be generally known that this is how you can expect to potentially be treated.

[stariwrites]

Heirloom Series Chapter One: Sticks Are NOT Friends

Author’s Note: Reblogs are appreciated and if you like it pls send an ask or lmk in the comments it helps me gain momentum to write!!!

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI 18+  

Warnings: I may be wrong about the mages and everything so please keep that in mind other than that there’s nothing, as a heads up the reader is aged 18 and older but one person calls them kid. Reader is also comedic relief/has side character energy but is the main character.

Word Count: 2.4K

taglist: @chaos-night @oilivia @hoefornanami @yixxes (send an ask or DM if you want to be tagged)

You heard legends of a beast lurking out in the forest of Dimrock. Some say it was as big as a village and as tall as a valley while others said it was the size of an entire kingdom. Its vicious wings could cut down trees just from the creature passing by. They said its roar could cause an earthquake several kingdoms over. Legend had it that it captured the King of Dimrock Enj-

“I get the gist, okay? The beast took King Enji’s son and hasn’t been seen since, can I go now?” You asked, slamming the book closed. 

The rest of your peers faced you with tired eyes at your outburst. You couldn’t care less, you had more important things to do than hear the story of Touya Todoroki and how Enji rose to power. If you had to sit down for one more discussion on it you swore you’d lose your mind.

“Leave it to them,” one of them whispered. “They can’t even listen to our history without getting antsy.” You rolled your eyes. 

History, you scowled at that word. It was just a tale, anybody could have made it up. 

Ev, your instructor and you cringed at the thought, guardian let out a long suffering sigh. “If you’re going to be a knight you have to learn this it will prepare you-”

You scoffed, cutting her off completely. “Prepare me for what?! Dying at the hands of gods knows what just because the king wants to enact revenge?” 

Hushed whispers began to fall over the room. You could vaguely make out an oh here we go, but you weren’t sure. It didn’t matter how many times the two of you argued, nothing was ever resolved. You watched Ev’s eyes flash red before she took a deep breath, steadying herself. A sharp smile crossed onto her face.

“And what,” she said slowly, dragging out every syllable she could. “Do you suggest we do about it?”

You swallowed and stood from your seat. “I suggest,” you emphasized. “That we investigate what really happened. There has to be a reason why the beast took Touya. I’ve explored forest after forest and have come across vicious creatures but most of them have been honorable. If we find him who knows maybe we can find the others-”

She stepped closer to you, the windows in the classroom blowing open while her eyes began to morph to red. “That’s enough out of you.” She bellowed, the rest of your peers flinched at the sound and gestured to cover their ears, but you refused to move. She didn’t scare you. Both of you exchanged glares for what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds. No one dared to breathe.

“Get out,” she snarled without taking her eyes off you. “All of you.” They didn’t need to be told twice. Everybody quickly rose from their seats and grabbed the books they needed before heading out of the room. Leaving the two of you.

Once the door was closed Ev dropped her guard and let out a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” She said, You stared down at the table for a long moment waiting for her to continue.

“You don’t use a sword, you’re atrocious at hand to hand combat, you miss lessons and after everything you refuse to listen to me.” Walking back to her desk she turned to face you. “Is there anything you’re good at?”

“Not listening, I guess.” You grumbled underneath your breath. Every argument you had turned into this. It wasn’t necessarily a lecture or a life lesson. You didn’t have a name for it yet, but you always dreaded them. Especially considering the fact that you didn’t want to be a knight in the first place.

“Look, I understand your frustration.”

She didn’t.

“And I want to say I’ve been pretty fair in what I’ve let you get away with.” 

She wasn’t. 

“After your parents die-,” 

“Went missing,” you cut in. Your fists were clenched by your sides. She glared for a brief moment before her face went back to being calm. You could still sense her irritation.

“Went missing,” she corrected as she folded her hands on top of her desk. “They told me to protect you and I swore I always would, but if you keep having these outbursts it will get out to the castle guards and they’ll take you. Is that what you want? To be taken to the dungeon?”

You had to resist the urge to say any place is better than here, instead you opted for a reluctant shake of your head. 

“Good,” her voice was back to sounding smooth, almost silky. It was no wonder everybody was comfortable around Ev, but you only scowled. You caught a brief glance of the outside while you tapped your foot against the wood. You needed to leave, to be out where you could at least do something.

She studied you for a long moment before ultimately gesturing to the door. “Go on,” she said, clearly defeated. You picked up your satchel and strung it over your head, making your way to the door. 

“Don’t forget tomorrow somebody special is visiting. You need to be on your best behavior which means,” you waved her off.

“Yeah yeah, best behavior. You’ve got it Ev, I’ll be up early waiting for them. You’ll see.” With that you were out the door.

She looked down at her talons, a pained expression fell onto her face. “I hope so,” she whispered into the empty room. “I truly hope so.”

                            ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You weaved in and out of people’s way receiving curses, but you paid it no mind. The town was bustling about, the sound of metal clanging filled your ears. You were going to walk past the blacksmith when a blur of red passed your face. Wheeling yourself around you looked everywhere to see where it came from only to find no leads. 

You huffed and continued down the stairs towards the woods until laughter echoed off the cobblestone wall of the buildings. Footsteps rang out as well as a series of voices.

“Come on!” One of them called. “We’re going to be late.” 

You furrowed your brows, late? Late for what? As soon as the question came to you, you realized what they meant. You sprinted towards the voices passing Sunshade. The diner was one of the few that were open all night. The sign was rickety and one hit away from falling off its hinges. It had the barest hint of a sun on it and had to be repainted, that was for certain.

Following the noise it led you uphill. Once you reached the top your eyes widened. There, a couple yards beyond you were the people you followed. How did they get so far ahead, you thought only to watch them disappear into thin air. A small smile cracked onto your lips. Mages. A warm breeze encased you at that moment sending the fresh smell of grass to flood your nostrils. You would do that soon. One day you’d become a mage. 

You wanted to be one ever since you were younger. In this kingdom only they could be travelers or poets or anything they wanted to be. The rest were either picked up to be knights or follow in their parents footsteps and if they were knights it was safe to assume you, yourself, would become a knight. You scowled at that thought, whoever made that a rule was a person you had some choice words for. 

Snapping out of your daze, you continued on your way to the edge of the town. The path was wide, fallen leaves blanketed the ground while the roots of trees twisted and tangled together in intricate knots. You inhaled the smell of the outside happily. 

This was home, or about as much as you felt. No training, no stories and no responsibilities. Here, you could be whatever you want. You walked up hills and passed the small clearing of water to get to your secret place. A tree stood in the center of a hill creating a forked path while the Sun basked it in a soft glow. Without hesitation, you laid your back against it and took in the warmth on your face. 

The fresh spring air blew around you almost as if it was a blanket. You let your eyes flutter closed for a second, you wished you could stay there forever. ⋆﹥

                             ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You woke to the sound of twigs snapping. Your mind still in a fog, you took in your surroundings for a second before jolting awake. Darkness had replaced the sunlight causing your stomach to sink. You shouldn’t have fallen asleep. The twigs snapped in each direction causing you to whirl your head around. You didn’t dare move. Maybe it was a bunny, you silently hoped only to hear more twigs snap, getting closer towards you. Maybe it was a lot of bunnies.

Ice froze your blood as you took in the small ball of light floating through the air. Not bunnies, that was for certain.  Quickly, you ducked your head as it danced around the trees. You furrowed your brows watching the light dance in the sky. It had to be a fireball, but it didn’t look like any of the ones you were forced to study. This one was purple and left a black shadow in its wake. What kind of mage-your heart stopped. A dark mage. It belonged to a dark mage, but why would they come here?

“Did you find it?” A man barked out causing you to flinch. From what you could make out he wore a dark cloak that blew in the harsh wind, all the warmth from before had been drained. You shivered against the cold regretting not bringing a coat.

“No sir,” another voice said, it was a woman this time. She made herself known in front of the man. This isn’t good. If there were two there was a good chance more were hiding in the shadows. One thing you knew for certain was that you had to leave. 

A loud cackle echoed in the forest, you flinched at the noise. “You do realize he needs it in order to enact his plan, right?”

Slowly, you lifted one of your legs into a crouch silently praying you wouldn���t break a stick and alert them of your presence. They were still talking, but it was put into the back of your mind as you focused on moving your other leg. You needed to warn the village somehow.

“We’re aware of that sir, but there’s no sign of the book anywhere.”

You furrowed your brows, halting your movements. Book? What book?

“Well it better be here somewhere, All for One doesn’t want us to return empty handed.”

Your body froze, there’s no way you could’ve heard that right. He died years ago. 

Now was the moment you knew you needed to get out of there and warn your village. This was beyond you. You searched around you for an out. You couldn’t go back the way you came that was for certain considering they were blocking that path. Dark mages were thought to be wiped out ages ago, there was no telling what techniques they mastered or how skilled they were. You clenched your jaw. Great, just great.

It wasn’t until you turned to the side that you saw it; an escape route. That was it! You could slide down the hill and take the long way back. The hill was mostly dirt and you could use the tree routes as a means to get down. Genius! One of the gods was looking out for you!

Apparently the gods weren’t looking out for you.

As soon as you took a step towards the hill a stick cracked under your shoe. You froze, silently hoping they didn’t hear.

“What the hell was that?!”

You cringed. 

Fuck. 

Maybe they’d think you were a deer and just ignore it. Yeah, that’s it. You’re a deer, a harmless little deer and-

Before you could finish what you hoped was the power of suggestion a fireball was thrown towards where you were hiding. Without thinking about it you jumped towards the hill with a shriek. 

You breathed heavily, the world spinning even though you stopped. You saw three of the people at the top of the hill. 

“A kid?” One of them questioned. 

Well, so much for stealth.

“Oh, uh hello,” you waved with a sheepish smile. “Nice night isn’t it?”

You took a steady breath before rushing off in the direction. You heard the voices behind you, but you didn’t know what they said. You raced through thorns and branches, not even blinking as they scratched you, your only focus was on the path ahead and making it out of the forest. 

Close, that was way too close. You needed to find Ev, Ev would know what to do.

You were a couple feet away when it happened. Your body halted in mid air. You tried to move, to struggle out of the hold, but it was no use. Paralysis had its grip on you and it was one that wouldn’t let go. Your heart raced inside your chest. You were going to die and--you groaned. Oh Ev was so going to kill you for this. 

You felt yourself being dragged back towards the group. No, you had to get free, needed to get free. You couldn’t get caught, not now when you could save everybody’s lives.

“No no no no no!” you viciously kicked your legs, struggling in the magic’s hold but to no avail. The people in cloaks surrounded you, the purple of the magic encasing you was the only light you had. You could barely make out their faces until the person who you assumed was the leader took a step forward removing his hood.

A gasp escaped from your lips at the sight. His blonde hair glowed under the light while Lichtenberg figures ran down the side of his face. His red eyes held a level of bloodlust you didn’t believe was capable. He was taller than the others, bulkier too. His muscles almost seemed to bulge out of his body.

“Well well well,” his voice rumbled deep, cutting into a sharp laugh. If your blood wasn’t ice before it sure was now. A sinister smile fell onto his face, revealing yellow teeth that resembled fangs. 

“What do we have here?”

[simp-for-mha-men]

𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕤: 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 (𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕜𝕚 𝕜𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣)

A/N: My first piece of writing! I hope that all of you enjoy it. I LOVE IT! (also a Denki stan, so ya know) I totally believe Denki is the kinda person to create friends only AND in person. Without further ado, here ya go.

Genre: fluffy fluff with mutual pining 💞

Word count: 2.3k

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

itzElectric has joined the chat

itzElectric: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! I SUMMON MY COMPANION @IceStorm TO CURE MY BOREDOM!

Denki Kaminari was once again on his phone, searching for the person who he began talking to only months ago in a future-hero chatroom. He remembered he slid into IceStorm’s DMs with a cheesy pick-up line: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice. A classic one-liner he hoped wouldn’t scare the person on the other side of the screen away.

IceStorm ended up responding to the DM almost immediately, commenting on how the Titanic wouldn’t appreciate that opener. Denki knew from that simple reply that he and IceStorm were going to get along just fine.

IceStorm, whose name he later found out was (y/n), was an all around perfect human being. Seriously, they were. Denki swore to the Bakusquad that if you looked up the definition of perfect in the dictionary, (y/n)’s tag would be next to it.

Their quirk related to the online name they chose for themselves. The fact that they could not only produce ice from their body but also turn any bodies of water, like clouds or lakes, into ice was fascinating to the electric boy. He, in turn, shared his quirk with (y/n). He even sent a video of himself in full “Dumb Denki” mode, to which he received an audio clip of them laughing hysterically as a reply.

The two online friends shared everything with each other. When (y/n) broke up with their first boyfriend, they talked with Denki the entire night over voice chat. When Denki started doubting himself and his placement in UA’s hero course, the future ice hero immediately gave him a million reasons on why he was going to become a great hero.

It took Chargebolt only 3 months to realize that he had developed feelings for his online friend after sending that fateful DM. He couldn’t tell (y/n) though. No way. If he did, they would probably block him, maybe even delete their account and create a new one just to get away from him for good.

How did this happen you might ask? Well, it began when (y/n) and Denki found out they were the same age. They also both wanted to become pro-heroes, obviously. Plus, all of their interests lined up with each other. It was as if fate pulled them both together through an internet connection and an obsession with Tik Tok memes.

Snapping out of his trance, Denki realized he had been zoning out for a few minutes to recount how he met his current crush. He was so head-over-heels for a person he had only ever heard and not seen that he didn’t even check if IceStorm was online.

Doing just what his brain thought of, he clicked IceStorm’s profile in his friends list and saw what he wished to see the most. Next to a green dot read the words Status: Online, making Denki’s heart rate speed up just a bit.

Instead of waiting for more time to pass, and considering it was almost 2 AM on a Friday night, he DMed the ice maker.

itzElectric: hey.....you lowkey left me hangin in the main chat 😔

He hoped, prayed, and wished that (y/n) would respond. He wanted his partner in crime. His meme expert. His muse. He wanted another audio clip of them singing songs horribly off-key or laughing at another ridiculously stupid Tik Tok. He wanted his heart to flutter in his chest just a bit more. He wanted to feel them in person. He wanted...no, needed to video chat with (y/n).

They had known each other for a total of 8 months, and graduation was coming up for the both of them. If he could video chat with (y/n), maybe he could work up the courage and ask to meet them at the café near U.A. It had the best pastries, something that he knew they would love.

itzElectric: something up? you know you can tell me anything 

Very rarely did it take you more than a couple of seconds to respond to the blonde. It worried him. What if something had happened? What if you were doubting yourself? What if you had gotten injured? What if you were--

Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He never had picked it up faster in his life. As he looked down at the message he had just sent, he felt his face heat up slightly when he read your response.

IceStorm: nah nothing’s wrong. was someone worried about me? lol 🥴

He was so happy you couldn’t see his blushing face. However, little did he know the reason you didn’t meet him in the chat room was because you were thinking about what to say. Also, you were blushing as well.

Going to Shiketsu was a big deal, and you never wanted to get distracted. When you met itzElectric online, everything changed. You began developing feelings. It was an issue, but it was a very, very good issue. You had never seen his face. All you wanted to do was video chat with him. If you could video chat with Denki, maybe you could work up the courage and ask to meet him at the café near U.A. It had the best frappes, something that you knew he would love.

You felt your heart rate pick up when Denki responded to your previous message.

itzElectric: obviously. if you died or something, who would make me feel better about myself? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Denki began questioning his latest reply. It sounded clingy, he thought. He might as well have just dug his own grave. Who would say something like that?

IceStorm: awwww is my bb giving me a compliment 💘

Your heart soared with emotion. This man, separated by a screen, was your world. You could never have him, though. If you did, he would get freaked out. Besides, you knew he was a flirt with how many pick-up lines he got your opinion on. 

itzElectric: well.....since your online, i wanted to ask you something kinda important

Denki knew he shouldn’t be typing anything to them. He knew that this could make or break their entire relationship. In a couple minutes, he might be blasting The One That Got Away by Katy Perry and crying. Despite this, he waited for (y/n)’s reply.

IceStorm: sure. what’s up?

itzElectric: i feel like we have a pretty strong connection....so can we maybe see each other

You might as well have gone into cardiac arrest. This man, the man you’ve had a crush for 4 months, just asked you to meet him. Or was it a video chat request? Maybe just pictures? You needed clarification before you freaked out even more.

IceStorm: what do you mean? like in person or....?

Denki froze. In person? YOU wanted to meet HIM in person? That did not catch him off guard. No, totally not. It punched, kicked, and threw him off guard. That wasn’t suppose to happen. He wanted to video chat then meet up with you. Could this happen out of order?

IceStorm: yo....pika? gonna answer me? 

The electric boy typed before his brain could tell him to stop what he was doing.

itzElectric: can you video chat right now?

He wanted exactly what you wanted. The months of banter over chat and stupid voice memos led up to this, but you couldn’t believe it. The two of you could never be together. Denki had to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. There’s no way a catch like him would still be single. Still, you typed your response out immediately.

IceStorm: yes

Your phone began vibrating profusely due to the incoming call. In the moment, you forgot to turn on any lights. Leaping out of your bed, you scrambled to turn on the lamp that was on your desk. You then turned on the one next to the bed. Then, you did the unthinkable: you answered the call.

When the phone stopped ringing, Denki saw you. Oh my All Might.....why didn’t he do this sooner? He was floored by your looks. You were even better than perfect. Your face held a soft expression that made him turn almost as red as a tomato. Your hair complemented the irises of your eyes beautifully. It was as if you weren’t even human. You were just an angel visiting him for a brief moment.

You were seeing him in the same light. His blonde hair and bright yellow eyes made a fire ignite in your heart. He held a goofy grin, one you had imagined many nights before falling asleep. However, you were very far off. His entire persona was fixated in that grin. It was absolutely phenomenal.

“Hi,” you started, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“Hey,” he responded.

Denki was speechless. You were enamored. This was everything you both wanted.

“So,” you began, “should I call you Denki or itzElectric?”

“Whatever you want.”

Denki wasn’t using his brain anymore. It was as if he short-circuited himself without using his quirk. He was responding to everything you said from his heart. It was all out of love for you.

You giggled a bit, bringing the electricity user back to his senses.

“Why all of this suddenly?” you questioned.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Really?”

“No. I,” Denki paused and inhaled, “I needed to see you. To hear you. To just be with you.”

Your face became flushed as if you had been training for the past 5 hours. The guy you had fallen so hard for needed to see you? He wasn’t acting flirty or overly comedic. He was peaceful and had a glint in his eye. Could it be--?

“D-dude! You can’t just s-say things like that,” you stammered in the best voice possible.

Denki was whipped for you. He glanced at the clock and realized it was 2:18. He needed to be up at 7 for a morning run with Kirishima. He’s run on no sleep before from talking to you all night, but tomorrow was going to be a strenuous training day. He had to get everything off of his chest.

“Listen,” Denki said, “(y/n), I really--”

“N-no. Just w-wait a minute,” you cut in.

Two very different emotions coursed through you both. You felt a sense of purpose, bordering on the edge of extreme shyness. Denki felt nervous, bile already threatening his throat.

“I like you,” you stated.

His eyes grew the size of dinner plates. You did not just say that. He just had too much caffeine before bed. Wait, he didn’t have anything with caffeine before bed. 

“L-like as m-more than a friend. You’re really cool, and I want to see you,” you ended.

When you realized he hadn’t said anything, you panicked. Trying to cover up your embarrassment, you just started spewing out word vomit.

“You know what? Forget I said anything. It’s clear that you are totally not ready to talk about that. I mean you probably have someone else in mind, right? I’m not the best looking. My jokes are subpar. I mean, I’m not even that confi--”

“In person?”

“Wait...what?”

“Do you want to see me in person?” Denki asked.

He was floored. The person, who he had feelings for, liked him back. For the first time in his life, the pick-up lines and corny jokes worked. He was truly himself and still got the prize: love.

“Yes,” you replied. “I really, really want to see you in person.”

“You can on one condition.”

You tilted your head, clearly confused by his statement. He chuckled at this and continued talking.

“You have to let me hold your hand.”

“What?”

“I like you too, IceStorm.”

Your online username coming out of his mouth made you smile so wide. It also could’ve been the fact that the guy you fell so hard for reciprocated your feelings.

“Want to meet at the café near your school on Sunday? At around 1?” you blurted, hoping that wouldn’t be too soon for him.

“Absolutely. Speaking of which,” he began, “I need to test out my newest pick-up line.”

You rolled your eyes, faking distaste, but on the inside, you wanted nothing more than to hear it. After all, he felt the same way about you. It was bound to make your heart soar even more now.

“Do you like coffee?” he smirked. “Because I like you a latte.”

You couldn’t help bursting out in laughter and blushing profusely. He, in turn, laughed with you and felt butterflies in his stomach. This continued for a couple of minutes before both of you could catch your breaths and refocus yourselves on the conversation.

You were ecstatic. He was elated. You actually did it. You admitted your feelings to the one guy you never thought you could have. You were everything to him. He would electrocute the whole world just for you to smile if necessary. It was as if fate had finally done its job.

Forgetting about his morning run with Kirishima, Denki started a new conversation about the latest Tik Tok he saw. You replied with your usual sarcasm to which he pretended to be mortified by your opinion.

It went on for hours. The two of you were genuinely happy. Hopefully, Denki would ask you on a date soon. Maybe, you might have to, but who knows.

Suddenly, in the midst of talking about plans after high school, a knock sounded on Denki’s door. He glanced at the clock and realized it was Kirishima.

“Be out in few!” he yelled, jumping out of bed.

He threw his phone down, which still had the call going, and got dressed at lightning speed. Once you had calmed down from laughing at his urgency, he picked up the phone and said something you’ll never forget.

“I’ll see you soon, my wonderful snowflake. Zapping out!”

[skrltwtch]

Muse

Prompt 1: Just like some people sleep-walk, you tend to paint or draw while in your transformed state because it calms you down. And apparently, people really like your art.

Prompt 2: A is a popular artist, and B messages them without thinking one day. They didn’t expect to become friends, and they definitely didn’t expect to become more. Person B just felt that connection between the two of them.

Prompt 3: A/Werewolf has a tendency to curl like a dog in front of the fireplace a lot (usually in their werewolf form, but it’s not uncommon for them to do it as a human). (Sources in master list)

Word count: 3,721 words

Genre: Fluff, romance, supernatural

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I put up with the long commute to and fro between home and work for two reasons, and two reasons alone: the decent rent for a place with a picturesque view and that catered to my monthly needs, and the glut of time to catch up on my reading. And by ‘reading’, I meant ‘scrolling through the handful of social media feeds that survived my latest cull of shit that was taking up my time and storage space unnecessarily, and occasionally attempting (and failing) to pay attention to my Kindle’. Hey, at least I was aware I had a problem …?

Instagram was my first hit of the day. I flicked past images of makeup, friends in situations I wouldn’t be finding myself in anytime soon, and cute animals. The occasional meme and comic draw out an exhalation of air from my nostrils. I marvelled at artwork and photography, half wishing I were half as good as the people I followed and admired, half chiding myself for not practising either enough and losing interest quicker than I’d dropped money on new equipment in the name of my new endeavours. You could say one of my hobbies, the ones I’d been consistent about, was amassing gadgets obtained to indulge my whims and fancies.

My heart skipped a beat — or was it the pothole the bus went over? — when I came across a new post by George. I didn’t know him personally to refer to him by his first name like that, but hadn’t social media broken down boundaries between people, making them seem closer to each other than they really were? He was an illustrator whose work I chanced upon on Reddit a while back. His portfolio was a patchwork of subjects, often portraits, rendered mostly in traditional media like watercolour and oil paint. He sometimes shook things up with abstract, contemplative pieces. He had something for almost everyone. For me, it was his attractive, angular yet distinctive faces and statuesque figures, use of watercolour, and versatility: one piece could be superhero fanart, followed by a collection of moody, atmospheric paintings of the English landscape with some fantastical additions.

It also helped that he seemed to be a nice, chill person, and a handsome one at that, too, based on the smattering of pictures he had of himself on his feed. Please, let me imagine a world in which someone as ideal as him — or what I knew about him — wasn’t beholden to anyone for a moment.

His latest post was a drippy bust of a snarling wolf with full moons for eyes. The caption simply read: ‘Mood.’ I smirked as I hit the like button. Did I mention that he drew wolves a lot as well? Sometimes his wolves were feral; sometimes they were humanoid, but still wild. The latter featured heavily in his conceptual works, albeit as hazy, indistinct forms, like blurry photographs. In any case, I liked that he had a fondness for wolves and werewolves, as the constant presence of the full moon in art of the latter would suggest. Anyone who liked wolves was a-okay in my book. Anyone who liked werewolves was even more so. Because.

An interrupted connection between my brain and my reflexes led me to visit his profile. Instead of returning to my feed, my thumb gravitated toward the message button at the top of the screen. Not a single cell in my body resisted this turn of events despite the restored connection. Oh, what the hell. Why not? Like, what were the chances he’d read my message? He had tens of thousands of followers, a likely considerable chunk of them being bots aside. He must receive DMs every other minute. I’d be another sycophant in his sea of fans. Or he’d see my homely mug and locked profile, and he’d think I was driven to add to his never-ending count of unread messages simply out of misguided thirst.

The beauty of the Internet was that it made ‘out of sight, out of mind’ fairly easy to put into practice.

I got the following out of my system and into his inbox: ’Hi! Hope you’re doing well. I’ve been following your Instagram for a while, and your latest post just made me want to say your art is amazing. (I can totally identify with the sentiment behind it.) I especially love your more abstract pieces. There’s something so … raw about them. And I like that you seem to like wolves a lot, too. They’re beautiful animals, and your art really captures that about them. Anyway, keep up the great work! Take care.’

I exited Instagram, not caring about the rest of my feed anymore and not wanting to feel like I was stalking my notifications for something that’d never come. My phone buzzed with several notifications as I went down my Reddit homepage. I swiped away the banners with green icons that pelted the top of my screen. Those could wait. What couldn’t were the banners stating that I had a new message and a new follower request from —

‘Oh, my God!’ I said, loudly enough for me to hear my own voice above my music (the chorus of Walk the Moon’s ‘Shut Up and Dance’ at half of maximum volume, so … loud). Not one soul on this lightly populated bus acknowledged my exclamation — not even the woman sitting next to me. (Come on, lady, the front was mostly empty.) Thank God for technology making hermits of us all. Or my sudden outburst paled in comparison to the shit that could happen and had happened on public transport. When you took long journeys as I did every day, you’d see some real shit in due time, too.

I launched Instagram for the second time this morning (stop judging, Screen Time) and the first time ever with trembling hands. The notifications were real. I approved his request first. My mind raced to recollect anything on my profile that might make him regret his decision to let my piddling photos of food, myself, my cat, and random junk take up precious space on his feed. Nope, couldn’t think about that now, because I was now staring at an actual, honest-to-God message from George:

’Hey! Thanks for reaching out, and thank you for your kind comments. They mean a lot to me, especially what you said about my experimental stuff and wolves. They are stunning creatures, aren’t they? And yeah, I drew that last picture after a particularly rough night. You could call it a self-portrait of sorts, I suppose.’

I snorted. Change the fur colour and make the eyes normal, and it was a portrait of myself every full moon. Okay, not something I could tell someone I just met, let alone a popular artist on the Internet …

Before I could recover from the shock that my inbox held an actual, honest-to-God message from George Holden (that was his last name — the oxygen made it to my brain for me to remember that he had his last name on his profile), he sent another one: ’Anyway, how are you? I took a look at your profile, and it looks like we have quite a number of things in common.’

What, really? No way. Was it the lashings of sweet treats I subjected my stomach to every weekend? The horror and science fiction titles, celebrity memoirs, and comics, sometimes paired with an iced coffee at either a café I put down roots for the afternoon or the one-bedroom house in Waltham Forest I called home, I showcased to put forth some form of air of intellectualism? The cross-stitch projects featuring memes and popular culture icons? His profile was quite barren of anything that could provide insight into what else he enjoyed doing besides his art. Which, hey, was perfectly fine: no one was obligated to share their personal life online.

I replied, ’I’m fine, thank you. I’m on my way to work. Favourite part of my day, really. And really? Like what?’

Most of my notifications that day were from him.

✦✧✦✧

I was a bustling hub of activity in my seat: A sip of my drink. A shake of my knee. A lift of my phone. A turn of my neck. A shift of my weight from one butt cheek to the other. I was certain I was generating enough electricity to power a lightbulb in five-second intervals. I couldn’t help it. I was so, so excited — and so, so nervous. This was my and George’s first time meeting each other in person. There’d be no screen between us. Actually, what difference would that make? We’d been talking to each other for months, either through text or video calls, the latter more common in the weeks leading up to today. We’d seen each other even on our ‘I’ll put on a clean shirt, brush my hair, and hope for the best’ days. What could either one of us do in person that would irrevocably alter our friendship for the worse? Well …

The sound of someone entering the café stopped me from starting on a list of things that I could do to fuck things up. I looked up, probably the seventh time I did so in the last ten minutes. This was on me. I grossly overestimated the amount of time it’d take me to get somewhere as usual; a natural by-product of living far from the city. Seventh — probably — time was the charm: it was George — and right on the dot, too. His punctuality added to his attractiveness, which had already gone through the roof and was heading straight into the stratosphere. I bit my lip to suppress any unfortunate exclamations. He was a friend, Evelyn … just a friend, and I had no illusions otherwise.

I called out to him. He waved at me and joined me at the table I picked out for us. And the second our eyes met, devoid of any barrier between us, everything about him — and everything about us — clicked.

He was just like me.

And I was just like him.

And he was as astonished about it as I was, going by the long silence that passed between us, a first since we got to know each other.

‘Hi! Oh, my God, it’s so good to finally meet you!’ I said with a grin to break the tension. He broke out into a smile, his posture relaxing. Success. Should I go in for a handshake? No, that’d be too stuffy for a months-old friendship. A hug? No, that’d be too intimate for a months-old friendship, and an online one, too, no less. Was it obvious this was my first time meeting someone I met online?

‘It’s good to meet you, too,’ he said, his expression of cheer unabating. ‘I’m going to get myself a drink first, and then we can shoot the shit.’ His smile turned into a grin. ‘Do you want anything? My treat,’ he added as he spotted me reaching for my wallet.

‘I was thinking a red velvet muffin, please.’ I didn’t know why I didn’t get one earlier. ‘Thank you.’

‘No problem. I’ll be right back.’

As he left, my nerves turned into happiness that I met another werewolf. It was rare to meet other werewolves just about anywhere. What were the odds that two werewolves, one of whom was Internet-famous, would become friends because the other one had a brain fart one morning to send a message to the Internet-famous one? You couldn’t make this shit up. In all the years I’d been a werewolf, George was the first one I knew. I didn’t even know the one that turned me. I got bitten one night, and that was my life changed forever. I figured everything out on my own — I had to. And my puny social network of werewolves made sense: this wasn’t exactly the kind of thing anyone would advertise about themselves.

Once George settled down and courtesies were out of the way, the first thing out of his mouth was ‘I never thought I’d meet another one like me’.

I moved my chair closer to him so that we could speak at length about what we were without the fear of being overheard. ‘Me neither.’ Then it hit me, and I quickly said, ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, though.’ Personally, I was okay with what I was. No existential dread here, contrary to what one might expect of a werewolf. It happened. I learnt to manage it in a way that made it not have any kind of significant impact on my life. I refused to let it define me. And honestly, I lived for particularly bad days that coincided with full moons.

‘Are you kidding me?’ His face lit up with boyish glee. ‘I’ve been waiting for this day for so long! As in, us meeting up in person for the first time and me getting to know another werewolf. Two birds, one stone: the only kind of killing I endorse. And I’m so fucking chuffed it’s you. I always felt like I could talk to you about anything, and now that really, really means anything.’ It was his turn to be able to power a light bulb, but in twenty-second intervals this time.

‘Same. How were you turned?’

‘I was bitten during a camping trip with friends a couple of years back. You?’

‘Secondary school. I was walking home from the library.’

‘Shit, that was some time ago, huh?’

‘Almost half my life a werewolf.’

‘Do you know the werewolf that did it?’

‘Nope. How about you?’

He shook his head. ‘Nah. Kind of sucks, doesn’t it, that you’ll never get to know the person who’s changed your life so … deeply? They won’t remember either that they turned someone. If only having kids was like that, yeah? Absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever.’ He gave his teaspoon a lazy twirl, causing a faint plume of milk to rise and sink into the dark, bittersweet depths from whence it came. ‘I struggled with what I’d become the first couple of months. The transformations were one thing.’ Oh, yeah. ‘I felt … grotesque. God, the amount of self-pity, like, why was I the only one who had to go through this every month when there were four other guys ripe for the picking? So, I decided to start incorporating wolves in my art to get to know and reclaim that part of me. I didn’t want to see it as something ugly. I mean, you get to experience a kind of rebirth every month. That’s extraordinary if you think about it. And I told myself that like myself, the wolf didn’t ask to be born. Ha, ha. Millennial humour. Anyway. Then the most miraculous thing happened one full moon: I woke up next to a coherent painting that wasn’t there the night before.’

‘Oh, my God.’

‘Right? My more artsy stuff? The ones I hate coming up with captions for? Almost all done while I was transformed. I’d started some of my art — bet you can’t guess which one — on full moons, too, and I finished them after I changed back. It’s as if the wolf knew we were now cool with each other.’ He took a big chunk out of his apple crumble and jammed it into his mouth. ‘Sorry if that sounded like spiritual woo-woo. I’ve been wanting to tell someone about this forever.’ Crumbs fell out of his mouth as he spoke. ‘Shit, I’m such an’ — he shot me an impish look as he swallowed — ‘animal, aren’t I? Fuck, I can make stupid references like that now, and someone would get it!’

I laughed. He was such a dork. ‘It’s not “spiritual woo-woo”. It’s amazing. How is that even possible?’

‘I have no idea.’ He held out his hands in front of him. ‘So thankful we get to keep our hands and not have them turn into paws.’ He waggled his thumbs. ‘Fuck, yeah, opposable thumbs. And I want to say it’s like when artists get high and make stuff. I do know artists who do that, and hey, no judgment. To them, I do the same thing, too.’

‘And here I am, feeling accomplished whenever I make it through another full moon without waking up in a trashed place. Seriously, that’s amazing.’

‘I think that’s what’s keeping me from losing it while transformed. I was surprised people liked those pieces when I started posting them, considering they’re such far departures from what I usually post.’

‘That explains why they’re so … visceral.’

‘Yeah? I figure you’d appreciate them even more now.’ He smirked. ‘And you know, no one really talks about my wolf art, and especially my werewolf pieces. Maybe if I didn’t make them blurry and made them more explicit …’ Oh, he’d get a different breed of followers altogether. ‘But that’s fine. I don’t want my lycanthropy to define me and my work. It’s just a part of who I am.’

‘My turn to say something possibly corny: I like your wolf art because … they make me feel seen, because they’re drawn by you.’

He put a hand on his chest. ‘That’s not corny. I’m happy my art makes you feel that way. You know I don’t care about the likes or comments. It just so happens I like drawing things that make me get likes and comments.’ He pushed his plate toward me and motioned at me with his fork to try some of his apple crumble. I obliged him. ‘Did you ever suspect anything? Not that, you know, I purposely drew wolves and werewolves as a kind of signal for other werewolves to pick up on. That’d be giving me way too much credit.’

‘No, I just thought you like wolves a lot.’

‘Same here. What you said about wolves being beautiful creatures when you messaged me the first time … that made me feel something, too.’

‘Then I’m very glad we got to be friends,’ I said. Born from the same blip in brain activity that set us on this path, my hand found itself on top of his. His touch had a pleasant, almost familiar heat to it.

‘Me too.’ He turned his hand over and clasped mine.

‘I have an idea,’ I said, mostly to distract myself from how right this felt. ‘Do you want to meet on the next full moon?’

‘Sure. I can’t wait to see what kind of inspiration will strike with another werewolf around.’

‘Your place, then?’

He nodded. ‘Unless you’re cool with me possibly trashing your place with paint and stuff. That hasn’t happened before, but who knows? What if wolf-me doesn’t like change?’

I stared at him in disbelief.

‘I can’t help it. You have no idea what kind of beast this has unleashed. Oops.’

We sat and talked in the café the entire afternoon; we took turns treating each other to food and drinks to justify our occupancy. Our conversation moved on to other topics besides the one special, biggest thing we had in common. Just like we didn’t want it to define who we were as people, we made a promise to each other, and we did so over a strawberry custard tart, that we wouldn’t let it become the foundation of our friendship from this point on. It’d be unfair to the moments we shared before this. We were friends because we cared about each other, we brought out the best in each other, we could truly be ourselves around each other, and, honestly, I didn’t think anyone else would have the patience for his goofy in-jokes.

✦✧✦✧

I lay in front of the fireplace, rejoicing in the warmth it offered on this cool night, while George was working on his newest painting. Since getting to know each other in these forms, we’d been able to exercise better control. For me, that meant greater peace of mind; for him, that meant a more refined grasp of his artistic sensibilities. As with much about our condition, we didn’t question this. What could possibly be a drawback of us spending more time in each other’s company? I now understood why animals curled up by a fire was a common sight in media and real life, too. Wait, what if this, and not George’s presence, was what I’d been missing all my life?

My tail wagging like a fiend when I felt his breath on my skin begged to differ. I licked his face. He gently parted my lips and slid his tongue onto mine. Our tongues engaged each other in a playful scuffle; the fire crackling in the background could only dream of coming close to causing the rise in temperature in the pit of my stomach. The tussle between our tongues didn’t get to turn into something more: he’d had a long night. I nuzzled him to convey reassurance. He lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, his hold firm yet tender. We fell asleep like this, keeping each other warm long even after the fire had died out.

We wished each other a good morning with a kiss — no, two kisses, and we got ourselves ready for the day. As we were having breakfast, George piped up, ‘Do you want to see what I painted last night, love? I’m really proud of it, and I think you’d love it, too.’

I nodded excitedly, my mouth too full of scrambled egg to speak.

He returned as quickly as he’d left the table. His hands held on to a painting … of me curled up by the fire last night. The figure was the clearest, most detailed he’d ever done; the lighting was phenomenal. ‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, tearing up a little, frankly. ‘I love it. It’s going to look so good in our new place’, along with the recent paintings he’d made of a similar nature. He’d come so far from the gauzy forms that once populated his attempts at capturing his — our — condition on canvas.

‘Of course, when I have the most stunning model.’ He gave me a peck on the cheek. ‘I love you, my muse, my mate.’

[milkybonya]

a Letter a week - Penpal!Hui Au

Warnings: mentions of food, video calling

Pairing: Hui x (gender neutral) reader !

Word count: 3.5k words

Summary: Where Hui is trying to learn English and you are trying to learn Korean, so your schools set you up as penpals.

[a/n]: so ever since my friend told me that my soulmate is supposedly a virgo and i realized that Hui is a virgo, i’ve been a lil more soft for Hui ever since. also Hui is just so talented and makes me happy and deserves the world SO YEAH i hope this is enjoyable ! 

Everyone was always excited to reach the last year of high school; not only because of graduation, but also because all seniors, if they wanted to, would be given a penpal from another country to write to for a year. It was your school’s tradition.

On the first day of senior year, you had written on the penpal form that you would prefer to have a penpal from Korea, since you were trying to learn Korean and were interested in their culture. You also got the option of choosing whether or not you wanted to write the first letter, and you said you didn’t mind either way. 

The next week, all of the seniors were supposed to send out their firstletters. Your teacher informed you that your penpal wanted to write the first letter, so you would have to wait until next week to receive it.

“The only thing I’ll tell you is that he is from Korea! I hope that he will help you on your Korean-learning journey,” your teacher said, smiling at you with her hands clasped together.

At lunch, your friends were all talking about their penpals.

“I really hope my penpal likes marvel too. That was one of the first things I wrote about!” one of your friends, sitting to your left said.

“I just want someone who’s cute so I can end up dating them,” your other friend said, across from you.

The friend to your left scoffed. “Not everything is about love, you know!”

-

Incoming letter from Hui!

A week later, a letter from Korea finally arrived at your door. You rushed up to your room to read it, seeing the sender’s name: Lee Hwitaek.

Hello,

I am Hwitaek (●⌒ｖ⌒●) but if easier, call me Hui! I am happy to be writing with you. They said that we are writing together because you want to learn Korean and I want to learn English. Please teach me well （´・｀ ）♡ I will try to teach you also! Funny, my mother is an old English teacher, so she want me to learn English too.

A bit about me, I like music very much! I like writing songs and dancing too. I do that a lot with my friends. They are nice but can make me feeling angry sometimes （￣^￣） I have an older brother, but my friends are like a younger brothers (╯︵╰,) I like to playing games with them sometimes too. Do you like music too? And games?

I wanted to write for you first because I was so excited! I will be excited to get your letter too. I think what time it is when you get my letter? Now when I write it, it is afternoon here. I am writing in my bedroom and the sky is today very pretty. How does the sky looking there?

I don’t want write too much, don’t want to make you bored. I am excited for your reply! 

waiting,

Hwitaek

When you finished reading, you sprawled out on your bed, staring at the ceiling. He sounded so sweet and wholesome... You bolted upright, rushing to your desk to write a response.

-

It went back and forth like this, week after week. You would receive a letter from him every week, and he would receive one from you every week too. As the two of you wrote to each other more often, the letters grew longer and longer, full of more things you wanted to tell each other. 

Somehow, the two of you really clicked, even though it did not go so well for your other friends. 

“It’s so awkward... I think I’m going to have to stop writing,” one of your friends told you.

At some point, Hui started to decorate the envelopes and letters that he would send to you with little coloured doodles, since that was all he could do. Your school had said that you and your penpal could only include ‘goodies’ in the letter (like photos, pressed flowers or stickers) after two months. However, after two months, you were not allowed to send a photo of yourself yet.

As soon as those two months passed, you included photos of all of your favourite places in your city as well as some pressed flowers that had an important memory attached to them. 

Incoming letter from Hui!

Those places look very beautiful! I wonder if I can come there some day? Maybe with you? I hope so... I am very curious to see you and meet you. Also, thank you for the flowers! I am going to put them in my favourite book, so they can be safe. They still smell good too (●⌒ｖ⌒●)

This is a book café that I went to, it reminded me of the book that I kept your flowers in ^^ Is it pretty? Do you like places like this? I wonder if I can take you here one day...

This is an old photo... After you told me you had a hard time this week, I decided to include these, because they mean rebirth （´・｀ ）♡ I hope that you can feel reborn and have a better week this week, starting fresh !

His letter cheered you up a lot, especially because you confided in him about how hard your past week had been and he took that into account, thinking of you.

Excited at being able to send each other things, you would send things ranging from small candies to movie tickets from a movie you had seen. You were always excited to see Hui’s reactions to the candies you sent. Sometimes he would comment about how you had to send him more because of how much he enjoyed it, other times he would nicely say that he didn’t like it.

After another two months, you were finally allowed to send each other photos of yourselves, if you felt comfortable to, of course. The letters leading up to this moment consisted of you and Hui counting down the days, Hui constantly writing about how excited he was to finally put a face to your words. When you felt insecure and thought he would be disappointed, he insisted that you were absolutely beautiful no matter what.

Sometimes, his words really made you blush. His encouragement, his genuine responses to all of the things you wrote to him about. He made your heart feel warm with his kindness.

Incoming letter from Hui!

Hello,

Finally, you can see that this is me! I worried so much to choose a picture where I was cool and stylish, do I look okay? Here you see me drinking my favourite Starbucks that you know I like ^.^

I am very excited to know that your next letter will also have your photo. I am very happy to know that I will finally see your beautiful face soon!

As you continued to read Hui’s letter, you could not stop staring at the photo he had sent to you. His peach hair and his soft skin. His hand barely revealing itself under the big jean jacket made you want to hold it and wrap his delicate fingers around your hand... Wait, no. Hold his hand? Goodness what were you thinking... Your face got hot and you had to open a window to let some air in.

When you finally calmed down, you wrote your response letter, quickly putting a photo of yourself inside and sealing the envelope.

-

Incoming letter from Hui!

Wow.. So this is what you look like? I can really not believe it... You are so beautiful, you should have never been worried about disappointing me at all. Your beauty is at the maximum level! I am so happy to see your photo like this... I am so happy to see the face of the kind person who has been writing to me all this time. Thank you so much.

Hui went on and on gushing about how wonderful you are. In fact, the entire letter was about you and your cold hands kept nearing your warm face to cool it down, touching your red cheeks. His words were so sweet, despite English not being his first language.

Just like that day when you received his letter for the first time, you collapsed on your bed. Your heart was racing, you couldn’t stop smiling and your face was so. Red. That was the moment. That was when you realized your feelings for Hui. No one else could make you feel this way.

-

Hui always made sure to include a photo of himself from that point on. You saved them in an empty photo album that you had, but you never admitted that to Hui. (Little did you know, Hui was always saving all of the photos you would send of yourself to him each week too)

As it was nearing the end of your time in high school, your friends were surprised at how well you were getting along with Hui. You would show them a few of his letters and photos sometimes, and they would tease you a lot.

“He writes to you like this? Isn’t this more of a love letter? ‘My dear, it’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to do badly. As long as you have tried your best, know that I will be with you until the end’“ your love-obsessed friend read out. You quickly snatched the letter from her hands, not wanting to hear those precious words be read out mockingly. But you had to admit, you were blushing at your friends comments.

Your friend took that chance to point your red face out. “Look, look, look! The colour of her face went red in an instant! Don’t tell me... you like him?”

“So what if I do!” You said, a little annoyed and tired of all of the teasing. Your friends looked at each other, smirking and winking.

“Wow I can’t believe it. This has never happened before in the history of penpalling at our school,” another one of your friends said, sitting to your right.

-

During the last month of school, you were finally allowed to exchange social media if you wished to continue staying in touch.  Of course Hui shared his sns with you, and you did the same with him. You were surprised to find that quite a few of the pictures on his feed were of the letters and things that you had sent him. 

“Another letter from my lovely penpal~!”

“They sent me all of the sweets that I love so much this time >.<”

All of his other captions were full of excitement in receiving your letters, too. And what was funny was that you had also boasted Hui’s letters on your sns once or twice. The two of you talked about how funny this was in your DMs.

The instant you got the chance to, you video called. Your heart was racing and you were nervous that it would be uncomfortable,  imagining Hui smiling awkwardly and not knowing what to say.

(including this gif again because I imagine this is what he’ll look like during your first video call)

“Ah, hello hello?” Hui said.

“Hello!” You responded.

“Oh, [y/n]! Look at you! Looking so good! How are you?” He said, smiling brightly.

Eventually the conversation started flowing and the two of you laughed and talked until you felt tired.

It was sad when you had to hang up, but you knew that you could always contact him soon. It was a lot nicer being able to text him whenever you wanted. 

Hui was kind and would simply call you when you didn’t feel comfortable showing your face. One day, you even fell asleep to the sound of his soft voice while he was talking about what he and his friends had done the day before. 

“-So Shinwon and I, you know Shinwon, I told you about him right? We were playing games and I really didn’t want to lose-oh. [y/n]? [y/n]? Are you sleeping? Ah, I will hang up now and let you sleep.”

You felt bad when you realized that you had fallen asleep in the middle of him talking, but he insisted later that it was okay.

“It was cute to hear you softly snore and breathe heavy” he texted you.

Other times, he would sing his songs for you, asking you what you thought. There wasn’t a single song of his that you didn’t enjoy, but you were always honest in telling him when you thought something sounded awkward.

-

“[y/n]! Stay back after class, I need to have a word with you,” your teacher said during your final week of classes.

As everyone left, you slowly walked to the front of your class, feeling worried.

“Don’t be worried!” Your teacher said, as if reading your mind. “I have good news.”

She sat at her desk and gestured for you to sit at the desk nearest to her.

“So, there is actually a prize for those who are able to get along with their penpals well. We did not tell anyone in case some people would fake that they liked their penpals and would keep forcing themselves to send letters, but after seeing how much you enjoy talking to Hui to a point where you even exchanged social media, we will pay for you to fly to Korea this summer.”

You couldn’t believe it. You had always wanted to go there, always dreamed of it, and to know that you could meet Hui made you even happier.

“Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you,” you repeated and your teacher simply smiled.

-

As soon as your plane landed during a Korean afternoon, you were nervous.

“You are coming to Korea? When? Which flight? Please tell me so I can meet you at the airport”

You remembered Hui’s texts when you told him you were coming. Stepping out of the airplane, you knew that he would be there after you passed security and picked up your luggage. You were so excited to finally see him, not through a screen or photo, to hold him and hug him- calm down, you told yourself.

As you approached the doors that were all that stood between you and Hui, you stopped to close your eyes and take a breath. Gathering your senses, you followed the other people through the doors.

Your eyes instantly found Hui. He was checking his phone and the arrivals screen before he looked at the doors and his eyes met yours. He smiled so brightly that you thought you would fall to the ground right there and then - his smile looked so much warmly in person.

You walked faster and faster towards him, not being able to contain your excitement. He waved wildly at you, laughing. When you were only three metres away, he scrunched his nose and held out his arms for you, ready for the hug that you never told him you wanted, but really did.

You buried yourself into his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around you. Finally, finally...

He stepped back to take a good look at you and he could not stop smiling, neither could you, honestly.

“Wow, finally I am able to see you...” he said.

As he helped you with your luggage, you noticed a white envelope in his back pocket. He drove you to his home, which you had agreed to stay at after he offered.

At his home, he showed you to the only bedroom since he noticed you were tired. When you looked concerned, wondering where he would sleep, he said, “Don’t worry! I have another mattress that I can lay on the ground.” No matter how much you insisted that you could sleep on the ground, he wouldn’t let you.

You changed into clean, comfortable clothes and laid down in his bed. There was a faint scent of perfume hidden in the bedsheets, and you could tell it was his. You fell asleep soundly while smiling and listening to Hui trying not to make noise in the kitchen.

-

When you woke up, Hui had prepared something for you to eat. He told you that he had tried his best and “sorry if it isn’t so good,” but you enjoyed it. It was nice to have some warm, home cooked food after the flight.

“I know it is dark, but do you want to go to one of my favourite coffee shops?” He asked, leaning forward in his seat and staring into your eyes with a grin. You shyly agreed and walked to the coffee shop that was near his house. 

On the way, the cars and streetlights blurred together like a galaxy (or universe, should i say) and you really felt like you were over the moon, walking next to Hui.

When you arrived at the coffee shop, you realized immediately. It was the same one as in the first photo he had sent you.

“You know this place, right?” he asked, while holding the door open.

“I do, I remember! You sent me the photo,” you said.

After ordering drinks, you walked over to a quiet corner by a window. You had noticed that Hui was carrying the white envelope that was in his back pocket when he met you at the airport. You were too flustered to ask him about it then, but now as he laid it on the table, you asked.

“This?” he said, pointing at it. “It’s for you, but read it after our drinks come.”

A few minutes later, when a server brought your drinks, you snatched the envelope right away, Hui laughing at your eagerness. Neatly tearing it open, you read it.

Wow, I cannot believe that when you read this, I will have met you in person. My heart races at the thought, and I cannot wait for it. The truth is, my heart races a lot these days. After seeing your picture for the first time... I was really... I could not stop looking at your cute face and I really wished to see you in person.

After calling you and hearing your voice, my feeling for you grew. I fell asleep thinking of you and woke up excited to check my messages for your name. Even before all of this, your letters always made me happy and cheered me up.

I’m sorry that it is only now that I am realizing my feelings. But yes, I am saying that I like you. Can you accept my confession?

It was so brave, to risk a friendship in that way. But you knew this meant that Hui knew to some extent of your feelings for him.

You brushed your thumb over the curves of his writing and looked up at him. He had been staring at the window, a trace of a smile in his face that grew when he looked back at you to meet your eyes. His head was cocked to the side, waiting for your response.

“Hui...” you wanted to say it, you wanted to say it so bad but you were nervous. So you grabbed a pen from the table and wrote your feeling on a napkin, just like you had written your feelings in your letters to him every week. “Hui, I like you too” you wrote.

As soon as he could make out your lettering, he grabbed your hand and smiled, looking into your eyes.

“Should we date, then? Starting from this moment?” he asked, and with your small nod, it was affirmed. 

You felt butterflies non-stop in your stomach, and even though you thought things would be awkward, Hui didn’t let that happened. He resumed the conversation as if it was the two of you video calling again.

When you stepped out of the café, having finished your drinks, Hui walked in front of you and faced you. He cupped your face in his soft hands and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and feel your heart flutter. When you opened your eyes, you noticed the full moon shining brightly in the sky.

He held your hand for the rest of the walk home, excitedly telling you about all the places he wanted to go with you.

[masterheartsxiii]

Notes from mass 9/20/20

A note before I start. This was my first time at mass by myself, as a non-catholic. It was also my first time taking notes. I am looking to be challenged and hold discussion on my thoughts.

I grew up non-denominational, I didn’t know much about Catholicism other than that they worshiped Mary and stuff (things I found out were wrong later). Eventually I started spending time with my dear friend, who was catholic. She and I went back and forth as she brought forward points about catholic faith, and I would pose counter arguments. There was a point where she seemed close to snapping away towards a different denomination, closer to mine. But then, she suddenly snapped back. Her connection to her Catholic faith became like steel, forged in the heat of questioning. This fire fascinated me. I now know that she had an advisor who helped temper that steel into its current shape on this site, but that doesn’t change that she found something about Catholicism that resonated, or else no amount of advice would have caused it. So I had to know. I have to know. What about Catholicism draws one closer to God even when fought against with more Protestant views. For that reason, I have begun going to Catholic Mass, starting now due to covid, and long to have my answers about God and the universe answered.

Now the notes proper:

I arrived late due to traffic and going to a new church. Will have to prepare for that earlier. Due to this I had to sit in the back outside of the church proper.

Gospel was on the parable of the men who were hired at different times yet paid the same amount.

>An interesting parable. One that would easily reflect on any time period, and all have surely felt similar.

Homily begins:

Talking about vacation?

>Not really sure how this all connects

The priest went to Maine

>I get he’s trying to relate this, but talking about vacation as your connection seems odd during times where quarantine is supposed to be in place.

Got distracted on how to take notes

>I was trying to figure out how best to take notes by looking at the examples my dear friend has posted in the past. I resolved then to get a notebook and have since done so so that my notes can be taken and translated later.

The priest gets back to the parable

>Finally. I guess the connection was between lobster farmers and field workers, but that seems thin.

The fairness is what we focus on, but the point of the parable is gods love.

>Well that seems obvious. But it has an important point to make, and right as I thought that he continued

Christianity, like field work, can be back breaking.

>Living with an atheist, can agree.

We need to save all people no matter when in their life. (But what rewards are there besides the end?)

>So the parenthesis are the thoughts I had at the time that I felt needed to be jotted down. These carrots are post church reflections. But it is a common thought. How often have I gone to God and said “I’ve done all this for you. I’ve been here since I was a child? Why am I not getting benefits. Why don’t my wishes carry more weight? My god, my god, why have you forsaken me.”

We might harbor feelings that we’ve been unfairly treated (no rewards to be in early)

>precisely. We feel that just because someone “got on board late” they shouldn’t be given equal treatment. But that’s not right. We should want the best for everyone. To hold someone to a standard of when they became a follower, why do we assume that makes them lesser? Isn’t that judgement? There is only one Judge, and it isn’t any of us on Earth.

Why do we think that? Why do we feel it’s “better” that we wish we could have joined later.

>That brings up an interesting conundrum. Often times we think the best way, even as Christians is to fall into this trap. We say “well it’s alright if I break this rule as long as I ask forgiveness” but that could devolve into a whole tangent of what is right vs what feels good. I’d be happy to discuss that more in the comments or a dm.

Better to rejoice that we added more people to the kingdom of heaven.

>On this we can easily agree. It is a victory to add someone, but where does it end? Do we check in and make sure they’re actually living it out? Surely just getting them to confess isn’t the end. That gets into circle of control vs circle of influence. Something my therapist and I have been working through. But while my circle of control is small with a larger circle of influence, an interesting irony is that God’s circle of control is massive, but he chooses to only use his influence, less we become puppets. Idk. This is where my mind wanders to.

Started talking about donations? That felt out of place.

>Yeah I guess just because it’s nearing the end of the fiscal year, it’s time to bring in money. It was an unfortunate time for me to first visit as I’m sure it sounded more greedy than intended, but it did feel weird that they ended the homily with it. Is that normal. I have no comparative reference.

I left before communion as I don’t feel I can go to it yet as a non catholic (why so isolating?)

>Something I’ve always wrestled with. The requirement to be catholic before receiving communion. Jesus said “let the little children come into me”. He didn’t require them to vow to him first. Jesus dined with beggars, crooks, and tax collectors. He never required them to be a part of his church before then. And then of course there’s the fact that is in spirit the body and blood of Christ. I grew up with communion being symbolic, not a true transformation. For a long time I viewed that as a weird interpretation. But I’ve seen it. The times I went to mass with my dear friend in the past I saw the power that the reverence and respect the priest placed on it. The Meal is more than a symbol, but I believe that is only to those that believe it so. My literal brain has trouble seeing past the veil, but I did for one fleeting moment and it’s stuck with me.

I felt so alone. How does one connect to god at these things? He is held so far above. How can one reach.

>I’ve never gone to mass by myself. I’ve always had at least my dear friends long side me. Ins one ways that was a detriment. After all, if ones focus is torn between two places, can one truly grasp Heaven’s message for you? But on the other side, without anyone beside me at church, how am I to parse these feelings. I am a Stranger in a Strange Land, and without a spiritual guide, how am I to reach it. I fear my journey will be impossible alone. I will pray on this.

One final note: the priest says it feels like the devil has really had his way with this year. It has been a hard year for sure, but how much is this the work of devils and how much is the work of man. The age old question does the devil really exist: or is it just the Bible’s embodiment of man’s free will, given personification. May pursue this more.

>A thought I’ve had many times. One I’d love to discuss. The Bible has many allegories. Might the devil be one as well. After all humans with free will don’t need something bad influencing them. That’s actually the problem with some other denominations. The ones that make “Hell Houses” the prescribe everything to “demons” and that takes humanity’s free will out of the equation. The devil may not exist. There may instead just be humanity’s desire to turn away from blinding light. Thoughts?

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Emma Watson has stalkers and a bodyguard

Posted on March 23 2014

From dailymail.co.uk March 2014, "Harry Potter star Emma Watson has hired a former NYPD officer as  a bodyguard to protect her from obsessed stalkers. The actress – thought to be worth £23  million – is believed to be paying the female officer £90,000 a year after a number of incidents of threatening behaviour towards her. The latest came as Emma, 23, right, was working on her new movie Noah, when an over-zealous ‘fan’ duped studio security staff and got on to the set. Emma, was left screaming, believing she was in danger, and filming had to stop. The British actress, who played Hermione Granger in the Potter films, is now constantly shadowed by blonde former New York Police Department officer Denise Morrone. A source said: ‘The  one person Emma is never without is Denise. 'Emma has had problems with stalkers in the past and, because of her wealth, there is always the threat of kidnap. 'She pays for her bodyguard out of her own pocket and Denise accompanies her everywhere, even when Emma is out for dinner. Denise is always there, making sure she is safe.’ Another source said: ‘Denise is on high alert for one particular stalker who tracked Emma down on the set of her latest film. ‘She is very discreet and very good at her job. She is always there looking after Emma, but you wouldn’t know. ‘She makes sure Emma has plenty of space and freedom. If they are at dinner, Denise is part of the gathering, but is always on duty.’ The new arrangement marks a departure for Emma, who has seemed determined to try to live a low-key, normal private life unencumbered by a security detail. Post-Potter she went to Brown University in Rhode Island, New England, and Worcester College, Oxford, to study for a degree. When she has appeared in public she has had no visible entourage. A spokesman for Miss Watson, who has homes in  London and New York, declined to comment." ^That's what the dailymail says but here below is what Emma said at the time.

From fansshare.com October 2012, "There was a lot of fuss made recently about the fact that a man who has been stalking Emma Watson managed to get onto her set before being chased off into the woods. It was claimed that Emma was terrified by the incident and feared for her safety.  However, it appears that the claims were not true, as Emma has spoken out about the “incident” stating that nothing of the sort happened. Emma felt that she needed to let everybody know what’s what and hoped to clear up any confusion about the stalker situation. Watson took to her official Twitter account to say, “Ok. Few things to clear up. I was not terrified by a stalker in the woods. And he was not fought off by martial arts experts.#whowrotethisstory”. I don't get this DM article because Emma has had this bodyguard for ten years. I think this might be a great big dose of media sensationalism or maybe a planted story so everyone will go, "Aww poor Emma" because she has said some really dumb things lately. I've seen photos of Denise (the older blonde lady we always see her with) with Emma as far back as 2005 Here they are outside the Regis and Kelly show (USA) in 2005 and to the right currently in 2014

^She still looks 15 doesn't she? I've seen one or two candids of Denise with Emma at Brown. I've read an article from a Brown website (thank anonymous for tipping me off) where they were talking about her bodyguards on campus that followed her around. Here's Emma, some guy and Denise at Brown in the fall of 2010 (I can't find the others)

Here she is talking about stalkers in her GQ interview from last year From gq-magazine.co.uk May 2013, "Did you have stalkers? 'Yes. I do have people who show up from time to time in different parts of the world. I've never really known how to respond; I've never really known if I should be afraid or not. This is how I put it into perspective: thousands of women all over the world have to deal with feeling afraid when they walk home from the Tube, on their way to work, when they go out for a drink. Feeling not safe isn't something that is singular to me or my experience as a woman, and I don't think any of these people mean me any harm. They just tend to be people caught up, who don't really realise what they are doing, and I think it is very important that I don't allow it to isolate me further, to be another reason why I shouldn't go out and meet people or walk down the street. Weird guys sometimes take it too far, and that is it. I just keep a friend with me. I don't have a full-time security guard or anything like that. Even at university I went everywhere completely alone, which looking back was probably a pretty ambitious thing that I tried to do there, but somehow I got away with it. There were times when I did feel stressed and anxious and could probably have done with a bit more support. At the same time I would rather make my own mistakes and learn what I need. I think it is so easy when you get famous to just disengage from having a life and that can make some things really dangerous.'" Remember she told rookie magazine she used to lie about walking to places but had a car waiting for her? She was trying to make it seem she has this normal life. I reckon this could be another little white lie about not having a full-time guard because we've seen Denise with her for years. She's the woman that pushes people away and pulls her from signing autographs and even refuses people. How about other instances like Glastonbury where that big muscular man tailed her everywhere. At airports when Denise is not there she has men which looks to be bodyguards to me. When she went to the Box Night Club she had a bodyguard. They're rare shots because most candids are just of Emma and Denise or Emma and a friend or boyfriend. You really think Emma travels alone? For example

Last photo from 2011: Check this out and seethe altercation You rarely catch her bodyguards photographed other than Denise who looks more than just a bodyguard. I think she's more like a bodyguard/assistant. I bet they are always around but you wouldn't know it. I'd go as far as saying they probably follow her from a distance to make it seem like she's really by herself. Here's something she said in 2009 and it was really stupid From wonderwall.msn.com July 2009 (interview with Dan, Rupert and Emma. she started brown in Sept 09) In this film, Ron has sort of a stalker girlfriend. Has it ever gotten strange where you're dating people who are more interested in dating Harry, Ron or Hermione rather than yourselves? Emma Watson: "I'm dating my stalker, actually." It's dumb to even give a stalker the time or day in a magazine discussing them. It will probably embolden them by fueling whatever twisted fantasies they have in their head. If it were me I would not even mention it. In 2010 she said this From digitalspy.com November 2010, "Emma Watson has revealed that she and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint used to hide from their security guards. The actress admitted that she "hates" having bodyguards and prefers to deal with the attention she receives on her own. Watson explained: "I hate having bodyguards and when we were younger, Dan, Rupert and I used to try to hide from the people trying to keep an eye on us." The 20-year-old went on to say that she now feels comfortable traveling on public transport by herself. She added: "Now it's like, 'Really, I'm fine'. I take the train and the bus and, if I don't dress up too much, I'm usually fine. Occasionally people stop me but I'd rather deal with that than not go out at all. That'd be really tragic." In her most recent interview for Elle she said this From snitchseeker.com March 2014, “So while Radcliffe reportedly rarely leaves his house without a bodyguard, Watson memorably began her college career by moving into the freshman dorm-the very definition of exposed. She lopped off her hair, appeared in a student production of Chekhov. There were moment, she says, when she thought, “I don’t know if I can do this. Or if this is sensible anymore.” But she held firm, turning down high-profile work that would interfere with her studies. “I just don’t want a life where I can’t have a life, “she says. “And so I’ve been just unbelievably stubborn about it.” ^Peculiar and then this article comes out about her hired bodyguard. Could it have been Radcliffe's people saying, "Hey, wait a minute" and then ratted Emma out? That last quote, the newer one, is of course a total contradiction from what she said about Brown before. I don't know it's that's the truth or this is some rouse to plant the idea she was heckled out of college life. I don't know but one thing is for sure I don't believe most of what comes out of this girls mouth. I'm like those towns people that had it with the games of the little boy that cried wolf. As for the stalking it's the only thing I'll give her sympathy for. I think it would suck. If it's an over zealous stan or a weirdo I don't think it's cool. If you like or even dislike her there are still lines you should never cross and that includes invading her space. She's just one fake ass actress that lives in her own head that plays make believe and makes millions off it. Then of course she complains about it and manipulates the media and her fan base to cover up "the real Emma Watson". She's a prettily weaved illusion designed to trick you. There is no such thing as the perfect person and just because she is pretty it does not make her perfect girlfriend material. Stans and weirdos please understand this.

[blakescoven]

Undress Rehearsal (Duncan Shepherd x fem!Reader)

Summary: You got a fashion degree and moved to DC to work as stylist assistant. Unexpectedly you meet a familiar face during a meeting and it seems there’s a spark between you two...but things may take a wrong turn.

A/N: Hey lovelies!! This is my first fic EVER, so be nice! Also, forgive any grammar mistake (English isn’t my first language). Since the ending is kinda open, I guess I could write a PART 2. I’m so happy to finally be able to post this one-shot, even though it sucks! I’d appreciate every comment/reblog/DM about it and about how I could actually improve my writing. This is a sort of experiment! I’m still trying to figure out “my style”. Oh and this is important: bold type means flashback, italics are Y/N’s thoughts and // means a few days passed! ENJOY and thank you for reading! I love you.

Warnings: mean!Duncan (just a little), making out and veeery light NSFW, plot!twist, lol I think that’s enough(?)

Word count: 6.1K

moodboard by the talented @hecohansen31​

You were late again. It happened twice this week. But how could that happen? You had always been a punctual and reliable person, at night you ensured that the alarm was correctly set and you never went to bed too late, afraid to not being able to wake up the morning after. So how could it be possible? Maybe because of your jetlag, but after almost a month, well, this had become a really bad excuse. Then perhaps, the frenetic pace was already affecting you that much, making you too tired to hurry up and get ready. This couldn’t happen again; you were jeopardizing your new dream job because of this straggler behavior. While you were running along the streets of Washington DC, those were your recurring thoughts. Your wheezing and the speeded-up heartbeats, pounding in your hears, were drowning out any deafening noise coming from cars and traffic, which always filled the city driveways.

From the early hours of the day, the avenues were swarming with people going to their office, each of them withdrawn into oneself, busy minding their own business with their smartphones, bringing takeaway breakfast on the other hand. You were way too anxious and distracted from running breathlessly; you had already bumped into three stupid human beings, slowly strolling down the sidewalk like damn sloths. Every single step was followed by a quick glance at your cellphone screen, checking the time and ensuring there was no missed call of your boss.

If you knew anything in this world, it was that you had to take this job seriously, dealing with the fact that your exhausting dues would have allowed your eager ass to work your way up and finally become a fashion designer. So, you didn’t expect any great satisfaction to come very soon. And starting from the bottom was really tough. After years of studying and a well-deserved university degree, you were prepared for whatever the future might have brought. Despite that, you didn’t expect at all to end up in DC, working as a stylist assistant. Sure, this would have opened the door to your real dream job, be part of the style department, designing collections for a luxury brand. You had tried your luck moving to New York, but you ended up broke, with no savings left and no available job opening. For this reason, you decided to take that chance here. You hadn’t made any progress till now though. You were new, yes, but your tasks and assignments were hardly restricted to bring coffee or running around the Capital with tons of garment bags for upcoming fittings.

Finally, after that insane 3km rush, without even stopping for a second - no, you couldn’t afford an Uber ride every time -, you arrived. Your feet hurt like hell, your cheeks covered with scarlet shades like the worst of sunburns and your breath coming in short gasps…and your hair, oh dear Lord, it was a mess. You were sure you were also sweating. Luckily, Richard, your boss, was quite nice to you and somewhat tolerant; he was sincerely impressed by all your efforts, skills and abilities, so much that he wasn’t utterly certain what you were doing there.

Five minutes past the established hour and, thank God, the client hadn’t arrived yet. You didn’t have much information or details about that meeting. You only knew that you had to help during a fitting for a client, extremely influential on the political scene. He needed a few new looks and outfits for public appearances, interviews, and fundraising events. Of course, you assumed he would have been an old middle-aged white man, with too much money to count and eager for power.

Mr moneybags is getting late tho. Too busy making grands? you thought.

Meanwhile, you were trying to look more presentable, also to not risk damaging the brand reputation.

“Y/N?”

Your calves burned and, in that moment, you thought that bringing extra sneakers would have been a good idea.

“Y/N?!”

Since the client hadn’t arrived yet, maybe you could sit down and rest for a minute on that super comfy booth near the mirror…

“Y/N!!!! HELLOO!!!” Your train of thoughts was abruptly interrupted by your boss’ yells, which suddenly caught your attention.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, I zoned out! Forgive me, what can I do for you?”

The man, a healthy and elegant 40ish brunette, looked at you concerned “Y/N I know it’s hard to settle down, but I need you to be 100% focused today. The man who’s coming is a big deal for us, he’s a powerful figure in Washington politics! He has recently taken her mother’s place as CEO of the family company. So, I want us to make a good impression!” after saying that, he looked at you from head to toe, a bit baffled.

“So…” he continued “…I need you to – in that moment you really hoped you were about to receive a major task, finally a turning point – ..to run to the bar across the street and buy some coffee, and come back quickly!” All your expectations fell apart in a sea of disappointment. “Hurry up!”

You put on a forced smile and went straight to the exit.

After having waited in line for centuries, you figured that probably the client had to have arrived, and therefore, just as you had started your day, you came back running as fast as you could, to save time.

You were holding the coffee cups in your left hand, while you were struggling to turn off your phone, which had started ringing. Opening the glass door with your hip, you were still trying to silence the ringtone, this, without even minding where put your feet up. Ugh, mom, stop calling me...always the worst timing! you screamed in your own mind, frowning. Before you could slow down your steps, one of your heels didn’t grip well the lacquered floor, making you stumble and trip. A sudden change in your balance and you couldn’t avoid slipping forward, causing the not-so-angelic flying of coffee directly on the special guest of the situation.

Damn it.

And to make matters worse, you fell to the ground, cursing the day you were born. Hell no, it can’t have really happened to me. You had just made a complete ass of yourself. You would have rather sink below the waves into the oblivion.

“OH SHIT SHIT SHIT I-I’m so sorry! I-I don’t know h-how it happened!” you were apologizing, still keeping your eyes fixed on the once-full cups rolling down the parquet, next to your badly chipped mobile touchscreen.

“The floor must be slippery…please let me make it up to you, I ca- ” you stopped all of a sudden when you lifted your gaze, for the first time since you had stepped in. Standing in front of you there was the most attractive man you’d ever seen. His piercing blue eyes were fixed on you, like two burning flames almost forming deep holes in your soul.

It’s hot in here or it’s just me?

He was tall and his toned arms were easily visible through the once-white shirt. Now that expensive fashion piece was all covered by a huge stain of hot coffee. And it was your fault. You were speechless. Your attention all focused on the man’s features. Your gaze was busy running down those perfect shaped cheekbones and the sharp jawline. Oh boy, gods’ gift indeed.

Oddly familiar to you though.

You clearly remained to stare for too long to not be noticed, because the man himself broke the silence.

“Uhm, don’t worry” he seemed taken aback for a second “I’ll send it to the cleaners or I’ll throw it away, I don’t care” he said, immediately composing himself, while carefully unbuttoning the ruined shirt, with those long fingers... You were blushing. His low soothing voice sent shivers down your spine. But his tone was plain, no apparent emotion, he seemed almost indifferent, maybe even a little annoyed. Ah, pompous ass.

Your attention was caught by your boss, who, with a worried voice, while pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed, proposed him to choose another shirt among the others and take it as an apology gift. The man accepted, nodding with a crooked smile and with smug remarks about the needlessness of gifts for a man as rich as him.

Cocky asshole! You mused, with a roll of her eyes.

Anxious to change the subject, Richard, started the introductions. “Mr Shepherd, she is my smart – but clearly clumsy – assistant, Y/N” at that very moment that name awoke the memories in your mind.

No. It can’t be true.

“Well, nice to meet you” he remarked “Y/N”, repeating your name like he was tasting it on his own tongue “..or so.” he added, with a stupid smug grin on his breathtaking face. When they shook hands, you felt a sort of jolt and realized you had been holding your breath all this time. You remained silent.

That was the same man you met 6 months ago on the flight you took to go to New York, when you moved for the first time. It was him the influential man of the meeting.

Duncan-fucking-Shepherd.

//

Duncan. This name was the only thing in your mind right now, while you were lying on the couch, in your little apartment, with a glass of wine loosely resting on your lower lip. Oh my God, did he recognize me? Did he figure out it was me? How had he called me that day? Oh, his angel, right. Fuck.

Your head hurt, but you couldn’t help but keep on repeat your two first meetings again and again in your mind. The Duncan Shepherd from today was completely different, compared to the man you had encountered on that plane.

He hadn’t talked about himself very much, just spilled that he was a businessman traveling for work. You had immediately noticed how mature he was to be in his late 20ish. And incredibly handsome. And charming. And seductive.

Ok, stop.

You still couldn’t understand why you. Among all the attractive available women he could easily have, during all the time of the flight, he had been flirting with you. You. He made you feel sexy, desirable and safe, after a very long time.

It was the first class. You were there because of a lucky misunderstanding. While the plane was taking off, you two had a moment, since he saw you panicking. You had started talking for real only two hours after having left Milan. The conversation started casually, then developed into a flirty game. Little did you knew that a few hours later, you would eventually find yourselves making out so much intensely, whilst the rest of the passengers was sleeping with lights off. This wasn’t like you; you were strangers after all. Damn, you only knew his first name. But you couldn’t help your crazy attraction towards him. A sort of electricity, a particular connection that you had never felt with anybody else in your life.

You were staring off into space, completely lost in your inner thoughts, while biting hard your lip and fidgeting with the hem of your oversize t-shirt. You nervously swallowed and closed your eyes. Your hand began to move from the fabric and wander over your bare legs, brushing them with your fingertips. Throwing back your head and swallowing again, you frowned and sighed. You couldn’t make those thoughts disappear. He got under your skin and no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake him.

His soft lips on yours, hot and peachy, the trailing of his wet open-mouthed kisses along your throat and the series of marks he was leaving on your skin, on the way down your collarbone. Feeling the smile of the other against your lips as you two kissed. The best feeling in the world. His small moans when you had pulled his lower lips between your teeth, while his hands were touching and roaming all over your body, as if he wanted to memorize each spot, each curve, each part of you. “Baby I wish it was just the two of us right now, damn, I want you so badly” he whispered. God, if they had been alone, you’d have gone further for sure. You were both turned on, you could tell, especially from the prominent bulge on his designer pants. All you wanted was to climb on top of him, straddling his hips, panting in his hear and feel his hot breath all over you. Intense was the craving to undress him, feel his skin against yours. Shit, it was like a living a dream.

The meeting had been canceled and rescheduled for tomorrow. The situation was quite unpleasant. What you were supposed to do now?

//

Judgment Day had come. You hadn’t slept at all, all night spent tossing and turning between the sheets and looking at the ceiling. How were you supposed to act now? Should you have mentioned anything? What was really killing you, was the feeling that ‘your moment’ had meant nothing for him. Yes, after 6 months, you had gone over it, also because you had no idea how to contact him. But after seeing him again, all the buried thrills came rushing back. You absolutely needed to test the waters today. What did you have to lose? Well, your dignity maybe. If he wanted to, Duncan could have easily said something. And of course, a man of his status could have anything, or anybody, he wanted. Maybe you were overthinking, maybe not.

Since it was almost dawn, and the sun was peeking through the blinds, creating a delicate play of lights and shadows on the curtains, you decided you could actually distract yourself choosing what to wear for the meeting. You shouldn’t have done it. Your bedroom had become a battlefield, all your clothes scattered all over it, like some lifeless leftovers of the closet, now empty. Almost like a little bomb went off. You kept trying combinations on combinations, each time taking off the pieces and throwing them away anywhere around you, as if you were on the verge of a breakdown. It was still a business meeting; you couldn’t dress up too revealing or doll up too much. But at the same time, you’d never give up on being yourself and express your personality through what you wore. Respecting yourself was the most important thing. Self-love. However, this didn’t solve the problem at all. You wanted to appear at your best, challenge him, in a subtle way.

On your way to the office, an unexpected call tuned you away from your own thoughts.

“Richard! Good morning! Are you calling me for coffee? Because I’ve already stopped off at the bar, now tell me who is the best assistant in the whole world?! And I’m not even late!” your smile vanished as soon as your boss answered.

“WHAT?! What does it mean you won’t be there today?” Your heart skipped a beat and started pumping so much blood through your veins, that you felt as a heatwave was rushing inside of you. “W-well if you have family issues, we agree that it’s necessary to postpone the gathering..I-” your eyes widened at the realization that you’d be alone. With Duncan.

You almost fainted on the spot.

“I’m sure you can handle it on your own! You can still reach me with a phone call, if you ever need me. Plus, don’t you think this would be the right chance to prove yourself and finally level up, get noticed and considered for that vacant position in the style & design dep.? My money’s on you, girl!”

How could you blame him, though? He was always so encouraging.

You sighed through the phone, so he added “Look, it won’t be hard. Remember that Mr Shepherd is in your hands. We have to turn him into one of the brand advocates; he’s young, a self-made man, the best choice to promote the brand awareness. It’s up to you now.”

Wow, that’s very reassuring you figured, shaking your head.

“Ok, you can do this, I have to go now, let me know how it goes. Bye!” Fuck.

“W-wait! I can’t do that withou-” he has already hung up. Looking up to the sky and letting out a frustrating grunt, you allowed yourself a childish whine and mumbled a ‘why me’.

Now you were standing outside the building, trying to collect yourself before entering. You were wearing an oversized see-through blouse, tucked in a black knee-length skirt, and an *accent color* blazer with rolled-up sleeves, to complete the look. You were ready to fight. No more clumsy bullshit.

Breathe, remember to breathe you reminded yourself, looking at the elevator door.

You strode next to the receptionist’s desk, Tiffany, or, as you liked to call her, ‘Crazypants’; since her eyes were always so disturbingly wide open – Does she ever blink? – and her hair painfully pinned back, so tight that must have hurt her. She seemed a cross between a barbie and a psycho killer. As soon as you walked by her desk, Crazypants greeted you overly excited, calling you with her earsplitting high-pitched voice. You put on your fakest smile and replied,

“Morning Tiff, uhm, I wish I could stay and chat, but I have work to-”

“The client is already here. He’s waiting for you in the fitting room” she winked. Hell, you hoped your blushing wasn’t so obvious, you couldn’t even have a few minutes to be psychologically prepared. Well, maybe better pull off the band-aid.

“Thank you for warning me! I’ll be right there” you answered. Not even before your exams you felt all this pressure.

Why is it always so hot?!

Walking along the hallway as if you were going to your own execution, you found yourself in front of the door of the rehearsal room. You gently opened it and entered. Do you know when, at some point in movies, there’s a slow-motion moment with background music?! There it was. Precisely. He had his back turned, gazing the skyline through the glass wall. And the second he heard the clicking of a pair of heels, he turned his head, smiling at you and looking intensely at your figure. You were about to die for real now.

How could someone be so beautiful?

His hair perfectly styled, his hot stubble,... Oh, that stubble was your weakness. You could already feel it between your legs and…

“Hey hey, easy with that” he teased with his deep honeyed voice, pointing the take-out coffee cups you were holding. You winced and giggled

“I’ll never stop apologizing about that, ehm, incident…but if you want one, go ahead!”

You looked at each other smiling for a while, until you had to break the silence and eventually get down to business. “So, I guess it’s better if we start…Mr Shepherd, so then you’ll be free to go back to work”, he exhaled and nodded

“Oh please, just call me Duncan.”

You saw a sort of shift in his features. His face went blank. He adopted a bossier and intimidating position, like last time. Ok, maybe he just wants to keep it professional, I understand.

“When is Richard coming?” he questioned while taking his trench coat off. “To be honest, it’ll just be me today, but it’s all right, you’re in good hands” you slightly smiled. He sighed again and you rose your eyebrow, taking it as an unspoken insult.

“Is there a problem?”

“Well, yes, I didn’t come here to waste my time with a newbie assistant.” Your jaw dropped.

“Excuse me?”

“No need to get upset darling, this is what you are, after all” he stated shrugging. You were speechless; yes, you were an assistant, but the way he said that, as if you were a dumb zero…What an asshole.

“Oookay, since I’m here..let’s continue” he glanced at you, waiting for her next move. “I agree, you can change in the wa-” you paused; he was literally undressing in front of you.

“What? There’s nothing you’ve never seen...I guess” You were confused…was he teasing you or something? “You should be more professional, I’m saying it for you”, your rage slowly increasing and flowing throughout your entire body. He was a completely different man, with all those unnecessary mean remarks. He gave you mixed feelings. You would have punched him, but at the same time, contemplating his perfectly-shaped heavenly body, his toned muscles, his thighs..you wanted to jump on him, kiss him and be his, in every way possible.

“You’re staring.”

“W-what?! No. I’m waiting for you to finish undressing, so I can give you the first change to wear..”

“Sure.”

You’d already had enough of his attitude. “I suggest starting with this evening suit, since Richard told me you’ll attend a charity gala in a few days.”

“Hush, please, save it. I don’t need all your pointless suggestions. I can handle it by myself.” he seemed almost..angry? You didn’t know how to hit back anymore. Why was he acting like that, all of a sudden? He tried on a few different outfits while you were staying there, silent, shifting your weight from a leg to another, your eyes wandering through the room, your lips pressed into a thin line and your mind trying to figure out what was happening. Duncan, noticing the tapping of your fingers on your thigh, rolled his eyes and gave you an annoyed look.

Then he huffed “Impatient, uh?”

You were hovering on the brink of an outburst.

“Why don’t you do your job and bring me some water, or take notes, or whatever you get paid for?”

“My job is helping you find a set of appropriate clothes for various occasions, trying to create the right mix & match that suits your taste and personality...” you retorted in a plain tone.

“Oh, thanks for the not required explanation, Wikipedia..”

“..but I’m not stupid, I know what a fucking stylist does” he was pushing your buttons.

“If you’d allow me to do my job, instead of questioning me, I could recommend something..”

“No need to whine, baby girl…So do it, instead of staying there like a scared little girl.”

“If relying on someone to select your wardrobe really bothers you..why don’t you choose them by yourself?” you sassed, struggling to remain polite.

“Well, I’ve demanded the help of a professional, not that of a ‘coffee-bringer’…and I’m wasting my time here”.

Ok, that’s enough.

He was still a client, but for you being treated like that wasn’t acceptable anymore. “You know what? I don’t fucking care if I get fired after saying these words. But I’m done with your dumbass comments. You’re a douchebag. I’m trying to do my job and, just because you’re rich and influential, you think you can treat me like that. Like I’m trash?” you were finally giving in to an outburst “The saddest thing is that I really hoped you would remember me. About that moment we shared 6 months ago, on that flight to New York. But obviously, I’ve given it much thought. Turns out that I’m just one of many, aren’t I? I’ve been thinking about you for weeks and when I saw you again, it all came flooding back. I’m so stupid. It’s not your fault, I was wrong to think that day could have really meant something.”

While talking, you were struggling to hold back the tears, you weren’t supposed to look pathetic, but your eyes were already watering. “So, do me a favor: end this meeting now. I’ll call Richard and tell him to take care of you, since you do not believe I’m capable enough to fulfill your needs..”

“..oh and don’t worry about seeing me again, I don’t want anything to do with you! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.” you spat, entering the small wardrobe room, without bothering to switch on the light, hoping that your angry tears would have remained unnoticed in the darkness and that Duncan would have gone for good. So you started moving crutches on the clothes stand, to make room for those outfits to restock over.

Unexpectedly you felt an arm around your waist, holding you tightly. It was Duncan. He hadn’t left.

His body pressed against yours, you were paralyzed, his arms keeping a firm grip on you. What’s happening? You knew you should have pushed him back and kick him out, but something inside you decided against it. It was like a part of your dumb heart wanted to stay still in that position forever. You two remained silent, until he whispered in your hear, with his hot breath and his cologne filling your nostrils - a mixture of cinnamon, sandalwood and tobacco.

“I’m sorry..” he sighed. He sounded sincere.

“..I went too far.”

Now your own hands were resting upon his arms. You could feel the heat his body was radiating right now. With a honeyed soft tone, he murmured “Please forgive me, I don’t know what came over me. It’s just that having you standing here again, in front of me, stunned me. I didn’t know what to do and I misunderstood your demeanor. I thought you were pretending nothing had happened, or that you didn’t recall that day, or that you simply didn’t care.”

His hold slowly loosened, allowing you to turn around and look at him with narrowed eyes and a puzzled expression, without a word.

“Uhm, I’m not very good at communicating my emotions, but you’re right. I’ve been a dick. You didn’t deserve it, but I was overwhelmed by the attempt to suppress my own feelings. Since I saw you again,”

he paused,

“you are all I can think about.” he admitted, stroking your tear-stained cheek with his thumb, but you tried to resist him,

“I hope you’re not trying to play me, because otherwise I’ll smash that stupid hot smirk to the ground.”

“So do you think I’m hot, uh?!”

“You dumbass.”

“God, you’re so damn sexy when you’re mad.” he teased, coming closer.

“What?” you giggled. He stared at your lips “I just can’t stop thinking about kissing you right now…” and unexpectedly, his hand drifted to your hip, pulling you even closer. You inhaled deeply. You were against his warm chest, sculpted to perfection. Why must he be so perfect? You placed your hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead you left it there. You froze, from both fear and excitement.

You two stared into each other’s eyes and his breathing quickened as did yours. He slowly leaned in, so his forehead rested against yours. You closed your eyes. Your faces were inches apart now, and he lightly traced your lips with one finger. His other hand placed behind your neck, shortening the distance even more.

Your noses bumped and your mouths matched up slightly-opened, breathing each other’s air directly. He brushed his lips against yours and you freaking loved it. You loved the way your body melted into his. The way your lips perfectly fitted like two puzzle pieces. The way Duncan held you tighter and tighter. It sent shivers down your back. His only desire was to touch you, to move his hands under your layers and feel your smooth skin.

You two broke the kiss for a second to catch your breath. Then he pulled you in, claiming your mouth again, hungry and intense. Duncan lowered his hands down your hips, cupping your ass and dragging you impossibly close. You deepened the kiss swallowing his groan of pleasure as you lost into each other, no space between you two. His hands were exploring your body, while you grabbed his hair tightly to restrain your own moans.

Slowly, you started exploring each other’s mouths with your tongues. Sometimes sucking his lower lip and biting it a little bit. He started kissing your jaw and leaving hickeys on your neck. He didn’t want to let you go, so he pulled you again and kissed you so hard, with much more intensity. He squeezed you, suggesting that he wasn’t going to stop. You didn’t mind at all and continued making out.

He slowly put his hands under your blouse, trying to reach and unhook your bra, eager to run his fingers along your breasts and rub it. You began unbuttoning his button-down, seductively leaving wet kisses and love bites on his chest. He moaned. Then Duncan raised your blouse and took it off completely, so he could see you.

“You’re beautiful” he purred, and started massaging your chest and kissing it hardly, licking and biting gently your nipple. While Duncan was playing with your body, you could only keep on tugging his hair, making his moans vibrate against your body. Then he kneeled down kissing your stomach.

Both of you couldn’t silent your groans anymore, the entire room was filled by sexual noises. But you didn’t care at all. You knew where it was going. Duncan pushed you against a wall, grinding on you and you could clearly feel his hardness pressed against your body. You needed more friction.

“Jump.” he suddenly hinted, and used his veiny arms to hold you up by your thighs lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Your core was throbbing at that very moment.

But you were brought back to planet Earth right after; that divine feeling was ruined by a pesky thought that clouded your mind.

What if he’s just interested in sex?

He sensed your sudden slowing down. “If you want me to stop, tell me now,” he whispered. When you remained silent, he brushed his mouth against your temple,

“Or now.”

he followed the line of your cheekbone,

“Or now.”

now he was kissing your chin,

“Or—”

then your lips were against his, again. You kept undressing slowly, savoring the moment.

But that damn thought came back, stuck in your mind. And eventually it hit you. “Wait…wait” you said, trying to steady your breathing.

“What’s wrong angel? I did something wrong or..” he questioned worriedly. “No, not at all, it was perfect..but I don’t think this is right.”

“Wait what?! Why?” Duncan replied in disbelief.

“I’m not a yes girl, Duncan. I’m not looking for casual hookups, I really want to know you better and see where this leads us.” you smiled reassuringly, caressing his cheek. You were scared as fuck. Maybe he wasn’t interested in any kind of relationship, just random booty calls. But you had to take the risk. You wanted to.

“Uhm..yeah. I guess that sounds fair enough.” he chuckled and you released the breath you didn’t know you were holding. “How about a coffee date? I know a place, it’s quite secluded, to not attract the attention of press and journalists” you tilted your head and frowned,

“What do you mean?”

“Angel, I don’t want you to be targeted by newspapers, they aim to find some dirt on me and make every aspect of my private life public. I prefer keeping a low profile, and put you in an uncomfortable position is the last thing I would want.” “Oh, ok. I got it.” you were a little thoughtful, to be honest. But in that moment, you would have agreed with everything he was saying. You used every inch of strength you had, to stop and not go further. Not that there was anything wrong with that. You just wished to learn more about that handsome man in front of you; his desires, his passions, his values and aspirations.

“I’d better get back to work, they’ll wonder what happened to me.” he smirked. “Yeah, you better hurry up, then” you laughed, while putting your blouse on. “I’m gonna put aside the chosen clothes” you informed, but before you could leave the cramped room, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back in his arms, giving a last soft peck on your lips.

“How can I focus now, with the thought of you against me?!”

“You’ll have to make do with the memory..” you shot back “..for now.” you cooed, whispering in his hear.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. You had exchanged numbers and with all those texts you were sending to each other, you felt like a schoolgirl again. Nothing could have ruined that sensation. Before going back home, Richard called you, questioning you about the meeting, not noticing your struggle to not make disconnected sentences or beat around the bush, to hide your embarrassment. Then, to thank you for having his back, he gave you another assignment: a high-society lady had requested a selection of gowns to choose, to attend a few fundraising events. Another important add-on for your CV. A few more efforts and they would have finally offered you the long-awaited position in the creative team.

//

The consultation had been set up two days later, you had to go to the customer’s penthouse this time. Ugh, lazy rich people. You rang the doorbell and right after you were greeted by a thin blonde girl, all fake boobs and tinted tips, wearing a dress that seemed closer to a long top, rather than an actual dress.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! Come in! I’ll be right back” she yelled. You came in holding the garment bag; you were shocked when you found out how actually big the apartment was: super modern, black & white themed and with some art hanging on the walls.

Uhm, de gustibus you muttered to yourself.

“Here I am, sorry for the waiting. I am Madison!” Why rich people seem so reluctant to share their last name with me? you mused, smiling to yourself.

“Let’s start, shall we?”

And then Madison took you to what has to be her large bedroom. Odd. That seemed more like a bachelor to you, but judging wasn’t your thing.

The fitting went smooth as silk. This Madison was a bombshell, every single dress fitted her body as it was sewn on her. For the upcoming event she chose a nude silk dress, that perfectly matched her skin tone. She looked pretty excited for the pick, so much that she started screaming and calling out loud, making you aware that there was someone else around.

“Muffin come here!!! I chose the dress!! It’s perfect oh my God! You must see it before I take it off!”

MUFFIN.

Seriously? Do not laugh, please, do not laugh.

You were biting her lip a little too hard. While Madison kept calling her…muffin, you decided to do something and began packing all the stuff back up into the bag.

“Oh finally, you walk so slow, babe…now, look! What do you think?” Before the man could answer she continued “Oh wait, how rude I am. Y/N, this is my fiancé...”

As soon as you turned around and lifted your gaze, your heart stopped beating.

“…Duncan!”

His smile soon disappeared too, replaced by a shocked and guilty expression, like a deer caught in the headlights. You froze in place.

You were trying to hold back the impending flood of tears, washing it away with your anger. A million different feelings rushed through you, but at the same time you couldn’t feel anything, just your own heart, literally breaking down in pieces.

“Do you already know each other?” Madison asked, noting Duncan’s surprise. You gathered all the strength left within you and stated

“Just one of the many customers.”

Then, lowering your broken voice, you sputtered a “Now I really have to go.”

Without saying anything more, you took the garment bag and run straight to the door, shutting it down behind your back. Right after, a teardrop rolled over your cheek, and your eyes started watering. Once that the first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Before turning into a sobbing mess, you walked fast down the hallway, reaching the elevator and waiting for the doors to open up.

Before you could take another step, a large hand took you by the wrist, keeping you in place. You turned around and instantly pushed him back, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“Please,” he begged,

“Let me explain. Please, I don’t want to lose you! We have something..w-we can talk about it, please, wait!”

“Go to Hell” you snapped;

and then you shoved his hand away, entering the elevator. Stupid. I am so fucking stupid. You two looked at each other one last time, shedding tears. The eyes of both soaking blatantly. And then the doors shut.

That heartbreak felt like concrete drying in your chest.

________________________________________________________________

Tagging: (I hope you don’t mind BUT tell me if you want to be removed, I was just curious to know your opinion about it, if you'd like to read it) MUCH LOVE @ladynuwanda @hecohansen31 @michael-langdon-appreciation @sojournmichael @so-langdon @stupidocupido @sammythankyou @emmyrosee​ 

[arbeaone]

For “Great British Baking Show” Contestants, The Real Loss is the Endless Trolling

by Rae Robey Published on December 2, 2019 at 11:51am

Against the vast backdrop of high-octane and anxiety-inducing cooking competition television programs, The Great British Baking Show is an aberration. Internationally beloved for its affable contestants and endless supply of baking-themed anglicisms—“soggy bottoms” and “saucy puds” abound—the show follows a dozen or so home bakers as they compete to be named Britain’s best amateur baker. When the 2019 season premiered with a record-breaking 9.6 million viewers, each contestant was thrust into the public eye; most have racked up tens of thousands of Instagram followers since the season began in August. For American audiences in particular, The Great British Baking Show’s intrinsic wholesomeness makes it a cultural phenomenon: We could never be so well-mannered in a televised competition, but we do enjoy pretending.

The Great British Baking Show is, at most, an estranged cousin to American cutthroat cooking competitions like Chopped, Iron Chef, or even Cupcake Wars. In the Baking Show tent, contestants help each other finish their bakes, are graceful (even grateful!) in defeat, and despair when their purported rivals are dismissed from the competition. Each episode is predicated on kindness, love, support, and the freely-given home-baked comforts of the feminine domestic realm. Even the grand prize—a cake stand and some flowers, no cash—highlights the show’s near-pathological humility. Produced by a team called Love Productions, decency is, we can only assume, woven into the show’s DNA. But when Baking Show airs on TV, long after the last bun is iced and the final bap prodded, the trolling begins.

Each season, the bakers spend months immersed in icing sugar, bavarois, and ganache, frantically preparing for the 30 challenges of the competition. In addition to the generalized stress of executing difficult pastry skills while trying to impress professional judges on an international stage, the bakers are told by producers that they’ll likely deal with some backlash from a handful of disproportionately peeved viewers. After all, it’s a competition. But the backlash goes beyond competition, and, despite the warning, most bakers are blindsided by the frequency and ferocity of their trolling. And though adoring fans are certainly in the majority, online trolls yell the loudest. Stacey Hart, a Season 8 semifinalist, dealt with severe online harassment as soon as the season began airing. “I’m smug, I’m a bitch, I’m a worthless piece of shit, I’m a useless baker,” Hart told Bitch, describing the comments that strangers sent her. “[The show] was the best experience and the best thing—at the time—that I ever did. It became the worst thing I ever did.” Trolls loathed her pink, glittery bakes and how often she brought up motherhood; their caustic DMs and comments drove her into a months-long depression. “I’m quite a self-conscious person anyway, and it made me question myself,” says Hart. “Am I good enough?”

Before Hart, there was Ruby Tandoh, a Season 4 runner-up who was deemed a “filthy slag” who traded sexual favors and weaponized “female tears” for preferential judging. Tandoh wrote a piece for The Guardian in October 2013 describing the waves of “lazy misogyny” that followed each episode’s release, but shining light on the problem change much for future contestants. Claire Goodwin, the first to leave the tent in Season 5, was inundated with fat-shaming comments. Season 6 winner Nadiya Hussain, a first-generation British Bangladeshi, was told to “go home” on Twitter. Candice Browne, winner of Season 7, regularly endured comments from strangers who “fucking hate Candice, reckon she’s a right bitch.”

In a 2018 joint study with Element AI, Amnesty International named online trolling of women a human rights violation—one that social media platforms like Twitter continuously refuse to be held accountable for. The trolling of Baking Show contestants generally reflects the Amnesty International findings: White women are trolled hard, but women of color are trolled harder. Commenting on the viciousness of a particularly nasty troll, Hussain offered a succinct explanation: “I’m Muslim, brown, working-class and a woman! I may as well have ‘punching bag’ written on my torso.” In general, men are less likely to be trolled and, instead, are more likely to be trolls themselves, due to years of learned misogyny and—according a Brunel University and Goldsmiths, University of London report—a higher rate of narcissism. But on Baking Show, trolling often extends to the men with nearly as much vitriol and regularity as it does to the women.

Dan Beasley-Harling, a 2018 contestant and self-identified “gay-at-home dad” received the overwhelming bulk of Season 8’s cumulative harassment. “It was about five weeks of people just saying horrible things about me constantly. I had some really overtly homophobic comments,” says Beasley-Harling, referring to unoriginal jabs about queer sex and the suitability of a queer parent. Trolls can generally find a problem with any woman, but two types of bakers stand out as exceptionally deserving of harassment: women who don’t land neatly in the realm of palatable, perfect femininity, and men who aren’t stereotypically masculine. Beasley-Harling’s experience suggests that Baking Show trolls might take a more nuanced approach to their vocation.

Perhaps it’s not just about harassing women online—it’s about re-establishing gendered power dynamics and punishing those who flirt with the domestic on public-facing platforms. Domestic work has historically been an unpaid at-home venture delegated to women, so Baking Show contestants are either women overstepping their household boundaries or men crossing gendered labor lines. For a troll, either is a damnable offense. But with each record-smashing episode, Baking Show subverts the assumptions of where femininity belongs, who it belongs to, and how much it’s worth—roughly £24.2 million in predicted revenue. Still, exploitation is often and easily disguised as empowerment. Lest we forget, Baking Show contestants aren’t paid, and the grand “prize” has little to no real-world value.

To an extent, we all participate in the uninformed and unkind public judging that trolls have championed. We experience celebrities and public figures—especially women—as dehumanized subjects ripe for public dissection, each one existing in a vacuum sealed behind a screen. After all, the Baking Show contestants are filmed, edited, and packaged by professionals into easily digestible archetypes for the sake of a comprehensible and compelling storyline. For example, the latest season featured Michael Chakraverty as the optimistic goofball, Steph Blackwell as the irrationally insecure savant, and Helena Garcia as the spooky, whimsical free spirit. While these personas are fully inspired by who the bakers actually are, they’re ultimately deployed to create drama and tension where it doesn’t exist—that’s just the mandate of reality-TV editing.

But trolls live in the extreme, and for them the editing spurs online abuse. Beasley-Harling, for example, saw the trolling as a direct extension of Love Production’s editing. “I felt like the editing choices were very much treating me like collateral damage,” Beasley-Harling says. “I phoned Love Productions and said, ‘I don’t think you’re representing me fairly, I understand why people don’t like me.’ And they said, ‘No, you’re crazy, everyone’s getting a fair, balanced view on the show. It’s all in your head.’” Gaslighting, the Old Faithful of emotional abuse is regularly deployed against women, people of color, the LGBTQ community and other marginalized groups, is remarkably efficient at restabilizing power dynamics—exactly what trolls seek to do. A representative for Love Productions stated via email that: “Love Productions has always taken contributor care seriously and has robust protocols in place to protect and support those taking part in our shows throughout production and after transmission. These protocols evolve to acknowledge and address the changing media landscape and scrutiny.”

Depending on who you ask, however, the robustness of their protocols fluctuates. According to Beasley-Harling, past contestants have speculated that the Love Productions team tailors their level of attention and support based on the profitability of the contestant in question. After leaving the tent halfway through the competition, Beasley-Harling felt like Love Productions was less interested in protecting its contestants from trolling when money was to be made elsewhere, a behavior not dissimilar to reality television at large. “I barely left my house for three months. I was a shitty parent for three months,” Beasley-Harling says, describing the impact of his trolling. “To me, that felt like, ‘We’ve used you for the entertainment value and now we’re disposing of you.’” But Hart, the semifinalist who received the brunt of Season 8’s trolling and suffered a depressive period similar to Beasley-Harling’s, found Love Productions reassuring throughout airing.

“Every time I called them, they were wonderful. Didn’t matter what time of day,” says Hart. But she does concede that the emotional scarring from her online abuse outlasted Love’s self-proclaimed robust protocols. “They’ve got no idea how it’s affected me to this day,” says Hart. “I don’t think that’s their problem anymore, is it?” It remains to be seen how this year’s cohort of bakers will fare. Airing in the United Kingdom continued through October, and this year’s crop of bakers appear as chipper as ever, even online. So far, trolling appears to be minimal—maybe the bakers can avoid it if they subscribe more closely to normative gender expectations. “When I went on the Bake Off I wasn’t worried about my hair or my makeup or what I was wearing,” says Hart. “Maybe if I had made more of an effort, people would have been nicer to me.”

[krimto-basi-hahm]

how I became friends with brandon rogers: not clickbait

i’ve been making some more brandon friends on here, and I realized that a lot of y’all don’t know my story. I would love to tell it here! for those of you that don’t know him or care, feel free to scroll past lol

(and this whole story updated to the end of 2018 is available here)

2015/2016

I actually found his channel through his first youtubers react episode in december of 2015, but I clicked away because his videos looked stupid to me, lol. after watching the teens react to try me bench, I clicked on a video for the first time (grandpa hates valentimes) in late june of 2016. I grew obsessed QUICKLY. like, I was a full-blown stan in the matter of a few days. I made my fan account on july 7, 2016. unfortunately, the account was taken down by instagram this year. anyway, I also started a youtube channel and made a video for him for his 28th birthday. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for making this! I was a theater kid too for many, many years!!! I’m glad you’ve been able to find inspiration, never give up on your dreams!! I worked many shirt jobs for 10 years before any success, and would’ve done so for the rest of my life until I did!”

a few months later, I got some friends together and made another video for his 2 million subscriber milestone. he also saw this one and commented:

“Wow, I can’t believe I have such amazing fans who would’ve taken the time to make this for me!! Thank you SO much!!! I’m so happy to hear that people are finding friends through my videos, that’s amazing!!!! ❤️❤️❤️thanks for making this, to all of you!! Much love from the bottom of my heart!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!”

the rest of 2016 was pretty boring, so we’ll skip to 2017!!

2017

for those of you that don’t know, playlist live is a 3-day youtube convention in orlando, florida. I begged my mom to go every year since 2014, and she finally let me go this year. this also was the first year brandon attended!! I decided to make him a jar filled with reasons why his fans loved him, and I gave it to him at the event. I met him for the very first time on may 6, 2017 in the lobby at playlist.

our meet-and-great was scheduled for may 7, so we also met then.

the next day coming home, I just assumed he would forget about me and move on. I was wrong! I received this dm from him over facebook messenger:

I was SHOOK!! I felt so happy that I was able to help him that much when he was going through a hard time. anyway, the next thing I did was make the 3 million subscriber special video and 29th birthday video. he only saw the first one and commented:

“Wow, how have I not seen this yet?!? Thank you so much to each of you for making this video for me!!! This really touched me ☺️ thank you!!!!!!!”

in august, he finally accepted my friend request on facebook!! this was insanely cool because he obviously has a much smaller audience there, and I was able to get his attention easier and work towards really becoming his friend. with our facebook friendship, brandon was able to start to get into my personal life, which was really cool. he commented the nicest well-wishes when I came out of surgery and even wished me a happy birthday!! this year was also when I started working on my next present for him: the book of brandon. this book incorporated fan art, letters, and more. I was able to give it to him at playlist live 2018, so you’ll see me mention this later. onto 2018!!

2018

the beginning of the year started off quite strong, with my debate teacher giving us the assignment to write a speech about our hero. I did not hesitate to write a LONG speech about brandon and post it here. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for this, it touched my heart and I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this video until now!! Feeling the love!!”

a few months later, playlist live 2018 rolled around!! before our meetup on april 28, 2018, I jokingly said to my mom, “what if he was just like, ‘oh hey sophie!’?” sure enough, that is EXACTLY what he said as soon as he saw me! the full video of this meetup can be found here, but I’ll summarize if you’re too lazy to watch it. he immediately thanked me for my speech, obsessed over the book I made for him, and basically talked to me like we were good friends. it was MAGICAL.

I didn’t think I would be seeing brandon again in 2018. well, I was wrong. his tour came around, and he announced a performance in tampa, florida on july 15. I was ECSTATIC. unfortunately, I was out of good sentimental ideas for gifts. I made him a wall calendar full of bad pictures of him, as well as a friendship necklace and a letter. at the show, he was looking for audience participation to come up onstage and act out a “fake date.” when he saw me, he said, “omg, this is one of my biggest fans! miss sophie, I recognize you! please come up here.” I was able to watch his entire show from the stage, and even drank from a glass he took a huge sip out of. at the meet-and-greet, we talked just like good friends once again and he gushed about my gifts and videos. he even bragged about me to my parents!

with august rolling around, I made another video for his 30th birthday. of course, he saw and commented. I think this one was his favorite!

“Awww thank you all SO MUCH for making this!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm incredibly blessed to have friends like each of you. Love you all to the moon and back, thank you for making my birthday that much sweeter! :D And thank you Sophie for taking the time to compile this! Take care!!! EDIT: I just made it to the end of the video. fork. I am feelin more touched than a child in prison. I look at many of you and see a younger me, especially you Sophie. I've always felt like an outcast for most of my life; never thought I'd find so many like-minded people. Thank you all so much for taking the time to do this!!!“

a month later, when I was sick in bed, I got the greatest news. brandon was coming to florida AGAIN! this time on november 25 in ft. lauderdale. I couldn’t believe he would schedule two tour stops in florida! this was also his very last stop, so it was a very special show. still out of big gift ideas, I made him a basket filled with lots of small gifts. at every tour stop, he would do a q&a for 10-15 minutes. as soon as he saw me in the audience while starting the q&a, he said “oh my gosh. this is sophie everyone...” I wish I could remember everything he said, but he mentioned how much I’ve done for him as a fan. even though he wasn’t planning on bringing anyone up onstage, he asked me to come onstage with him and help him with the q&a. brandon gave me the power of picking who he would come to in the audience, as well as asking me to answer some of his questions and really including me through the whole process. he even told me he would love to have me in a video!!! pure magic. I have clips of video from this show, so dm me if you would like to see them!!

the last thing that happened in this year was him wishing me a happy birthday again. onto 2019!!

2019

the main thing I’ll be talking about in 2019 is playlist live because that’s the main interesting event of this year so far. a few days before the event, rachel williams (his manager) gave me her phone number to coordinate with them to hang out there!! I made him a big gift bag because I was STILL out of ideas for bigger gifts. on march 2, we had our meetup. he asked the meetup attendant if he could have some extra time with me because I’m “one of his biggest fans”. he then proceeds to tell me...

“I got something for you!”

WHAT? he gives me the gift, and I give him his. we talk briefly before the attendant ushers me along. the two other people there were jon cozart and mac kahey, who both said to me “oh YOU’RE sophie! brandon was telling us all about you!” WHAT? it was a lot to process.

I open the gift and see that he has given me THE shirt BOOK from stuff & sam, THE HEART from blame the hero, a stuff & sam shirt, and a card!!! WHAT? again, a lot to process.

unfortunately, I never got to hang out with brandon and rachel because I got really sick the next day. however, they were both so understanding and carved out a few minutes to see me before I left!!

overall, this year, we have become a lot more comfortable with each other both in person and online, really talking just like friends. I am so incredibly grateful for him and everything he has done over the years.

omg thank you for reading all of this!! dm me to talk or gush about brandon or be friends whatever man love y’all!!

[witching-aradia]

Trouble in the past.

About 4 months ago, I watched a video about trying to find a human being for me. I watched this lady’s video and so I did what she said. After I didn’t seem to get answered, I commented on her video and someone else asked me if I did something. Can’t remember the term, “detach”? I don’t remember. But this persons linked me to your website.

It just seems that every spiritual thing hates me, god, or even demons seem to turn tier back on me. Am I truly that scary hat angels and demons and darkness itself turns and runs for me? If that’s true, that what am i?

I came here to see if ANY person can possibly help me.

//

Hello darling, I can feel how heavy your energy is. I felt this as soon as you submitted it and I am so so sorry you feel this way. A spirit had to actively step in and help me catch my breath.

But, there are good things on their way for you! I will get to this at the end of this post.

Now, let’s dive into this. This might be a bit of a long post, so I hope you soon have the time to read through all of this!

Send another message in my ask box or if you have tumblr - my DMs, letting me know you have seen this! (If not I will be periodically reblogging it until you do)

Yes, it is able to attract a partner with manifestation. But I feel that many times people explain it in a way where it is so easy. It really is not. Many find detaching - which I will get in to more, difficult, but also it is the mindset.

Like attracts Like. To attract love, you must be love.

What I mean in that is that you must love yourself. You must be okay with being alone. You must feel to the core of your being that you are 100% complete by yourself. You do not need a partner, nor must you obsess over having one. There is no “one person” made for you, that people and media love to portray. The only person made for you, is you.

You must show love to yourself - take care of yourself. Strive to grow and improve physically, mentally, spiritually. You have to show love and gratitude to yourself, to living, to other people (whether that be to friends, teachers, family, etc). To allow love energy to find you, you have to put out love energy.

This understanding can be some of the hardest realisations people have to make.

Detaching, I have a post here about manifesting that includes detaching if you are interested.

Detaching is difficult, and is very similar to the ‘hard realisation‘ that I mentioned above. If you are putting out a request to manifest somebody, you cannot hold on to that energy. As childish as it may seem, I always use this image to explain detaching:

If you are putting out a request, you cannot expect the Universe (or what you believe in) to answer you if you never actually put it in (ie detaching). It’s like writing a letter to someone but never sending it to them, but still expecting them to receive it.

You must let it go - no expectations, no fantasizing about it obsessively. In the post I linked I wrote of a small ritual to help in detaching - it is all about visualising.  

Now, let us get in to this terrible feeling of being unloved by the spiritual.

If you believe in God or a Divinity or a Universal Energy, know that there is unconditional love. I am not too sure about demons since I do not work with them, but Angels and certain Fae also offer love.

We have the view of little ants in a large field, and the divine have the bird’s eye view. You must trust the process. A lot of the times, our Souls have to go through hard lessons to learn and grow. Shadow work, which I have a post for here is great for soul searching and finding the underlying cause and lessons in situations. A lot of the times, our Souls chose to come to Earth to refine themselves. This is like the process of gold refining - you get beautiful gold from the raw material of the earth through a series of intense heat and precipitating many times.

Spirits - those of the Light and Love- are attracted to those who put out love. Fae (the positive kind) are attracted to those who love nature/are good to nature or put out a lot of good energy into the world. Light Beings help those who ask for help. We humans do not have the understanding of the methods of spiritual beings and God/Divinity/Universal Energy. Let it be known that if you have asked for help, they are present, but are helping in ways that you may not expect.

Also, unless you are an experienced witch/spirit worker, I do not recommend working or calling out to demons, as many of the times (and many cases I have seen) demons attach themselves almost like a parasite to people’s energy which may make them feel tired all the time, melancholic, or they may whisper bad suggestions in to their ear. It becomes like a cycle - they feed on bad energy, and their presence encourages bad energy from the host. Unless you know what you are doing and have the ability to be aware of when this is occurring, I strongly advise to not work with them.

Self love may be difficult when you are feeling like how you are now, but not impossible. Here is a post with a lot of tips that I answered not too long ago that you may find useful to read through.

Okay! Now let’s get in to the good news I have for you!

You are a twin flame!

There will be many over-romanticised videos and sites on the topic of twin flames, so here is my take on them (though still do your own research!)

First of all, soulmates are people who are meant to come in to your life. We have many, many soulmates in this lifetime. This could be platonic, romantic, or karmic. They all have a lesson or lessons to teach us about our preferences in relationships (platonic or romantic), about how to handle certain situations, more about ourselves.

Now, twin flames. A Twin Flame is a person who has the same soul energy to you. The love spiritually, physically, and mentally is intense. Twin Flames are becoming more common (though they are still rather rare) as the Divine is stepping in to how things play out a whole lot more. Because this person has the same soul energy as you, for you two to come into each others lives / stay in each others lives, your soul and theirs must be on the same frequency of love energy. If not, you may not meet them or if you do it will be a wild and incredibly stressful and emotionally taxing game of chasing and running. Even if you are on a level where you are ready to meet, your partner may not be and thus the running away. It commonly happens in twin flame relationships.

You must do your part in growing in love and working on yourself. I have NEVER heard of a time where the process before (and during) twin flame relationships weren’t tough. What you are going through now is all part of the twin flame process. This process includes the feelings that you are experiencing now, tough situations that force you to grow, and other romantic partners to help you learn more, as said above, about yourself and how to handle certain situations. I have not really heard of someone immediately jumping to a twin flame relationship - a lot of the time people have to go through other romantic and karmic soulmates first.

Here is an AMAZING video that describes types of soulmates and twinflames and how everything plays together. (Also it’s kind of a lengthy video so make the time, I recommend, to watch it before you go to bed after a day of work/school)

Also, here is a video that I felt called to watch earlier on today of somebody’s life experience all leading up to meeting their twinflame. - I have only seen this video of hers where she explains the incredibly tough life she had to prepare her for meeting her twinflame. She seems to have a lot of videos on manifesting and twinflames, but I have not watched any of them so unfortunately I cannot tell you about them or recommend them to you.

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Read over everything that I have written many times, read over the posts I linked (especially the one on self care), and watch the videos. Remember - everything is a process and as cliche as it is, this time where you are feeling like this WILL pass. This is all a learning and growing process. Allow yourself to feel this way - validate your feelings - but don’t wallow in it. Don’t allow it affect your outlook on the spiritual as to one of being cold and unloving. Rememeber, we are not seeing the bigger picture.

My inbox and DMs are open if you want to chat more, you want me to do a reading for you, or need any help spiritually, emotionally, or magickally.

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Also, just out of curiosity, which manifestation video did you watch, did the person really comment this webpage name? I ma just a bit surprised as I made this account a bit over a month ago. (please send me the link! I’d love to see how the other person described manifestation process)

[solarpunk-gnome]

For every picture-perfect tent shot on Instagram, there is an entire gallery of images you should see — but rarely do. When we share a photo on social media, we can’t monitor who it reaches, and a lack of knowledge (or worse yet, a blatant disregard for the rules), can ruin some of our favorite campsites, trails and parks. From garbage to human waste, I’ve dealt with all kinds of foul things when setting up camp, and it only seems to be getting worse.  

Platforms like Instagram are directly linked to this problem, but they can be just as effective in educating people and encouraging them to behave more responsibly outside. I was thrilled to see Leave No Trace (LNT) recently share a set of social media guidelines, concerning both geotags and the message a photo can send. As lovers of the outdoors who sleep in the dirt in the digital age, it’s important to keep this discussion going — and understand how we can better preserve the places we cherish.

I made my first trip to Bears Ears National Monument in May, and I loved the towering rock formations just as much as the sense of solitude I felt there. However, I was bummed to see a number of fire rings all over the primitive camping sites, along with dirty toilet paper and plastic trash. There are numerous signs stating that you’re not allowed to have fires anywhere in Valley of the Gods, and this information is posted online as well. 

So, what can we do? If you see something, SPEAK UP. And this goes beyond approaching fellow campers and politely explaining fire restrictions. When we see illegal fire/camp/drone shots on social media (and I found a handful of campfire shots from this particular section of Bears Ears), it’s important to say something there as well. Send someone a DM or leave a comment, and if it’s an especially flagrant violation, alert local authorities. Parks have busted people in the past after being tipped off about social media posts, and I fully support that. I don’t like that we have to go out of our way to rat (and call) people out, but I also don’t want my favorite places being destroyed.

And it’s not just about others. What you do is equally important, and while location tagging your campsite may seem harmless, it can cause a lot more damage than you might think. Even if you only have 300 followers, a geotag still shows up for everyone, and if you also use hashtags and a large account shares your photo, it can potentially reach millions of people. And one of those people might go ahead and burn a fire somewhere they’re not supposed to — after seeing your camp shot online. It may sound far fetched, but it’s not.

From hot springs to lakes, I’ve seen far too many spots blown up on Instagram and subsequently trashed by careless individuals, so these days I rarely include any sort of exact location information when I post. I will often tag a state, and occasionally a national park, but that’s it. While Instagram is a great place to connect and inspire others, if you really want to protect a place, you must consider the implications of what you share. Think before you post, and there is also something to be said for finding your own adventure. I don’t plan most of my trips based on Instagram geotags; rather, I look at maps, I ask friends/locals/rangers what they’d recommend, or I just (gasp!) stumble across these places while rolling down dirt roads.

When camping at an incredible primitive spot at Organ Mountains-Desert Peaks National Monument last month, my friend and I enjoyed a few sunset brews and set up our tents. We debated having a fire, but decided it was too much work, as we were exhausted from a long day in the car. Before tucking in to our sleeping bags, I cut my big toe on something next to my camp chair, and the following day I noticed gashes all over the bottom of my tent. Unbeknownst to me, in the dim evening light, I had set my beloved Tufly tent on top of a sea of broken glass. And it was then that we noticed the poorly constructed fire ring near our tents, which was overflowing with ash, charcoal and all kinds of trash. 

The ring was probably 6 feet across, and the previous campers appeared to have extinguished their fire with rocks and dirt — and probably not enough water. I removed about two large dozen rocks and put them next to the “NO VEHICLES” sign at our campsite, and then got to work picking up inside of the fire pit, which was full of dozens of nails, more glass, shotgun shells, batteries and dirty baby wipes. We ended up packing out one large garbage bag of trash, and I shared the photos above on social media. While I received quite a few messages of support, I wondered: For all the trash we see (and gripe about), how often are we actually picking it up?

I first visited White Sands National Monument when I was 12, and this May I finally made it back. Though you cannot camp on the dunes, if you obtain a backcountry permit from the ranger station, you can pitch a tent right next to them in one of ten primitive sites. The designated camping areas are on flat patches of land and clearly marked with numbered posts, so it’s pretty hard to miss. Fires are not allowed, and not only is there signage at every campsite and the trailhead, but it’s written on the wilderness permit you sign in front of an NPS ranger.

I spent four nights camping in the monument, and I was very disappointed to find food scraps, dirty toilet paper and a burnt log at my campsite. I brought the log back to the ranger station and packed out the trash left from the previous campers, and while I realize that this is something most of us would do, there are still plenty of individuals who wouldn’t make the effort. Just because you didn’t leave litter doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pick it up, and if you care about a place and want to see it thrive, taking action is far more effective than talking about it.

Just a few days after I left White Sands National Monument, LNT released their social media guidelines, and I found the remark that we should be “mindful of what [our] images portray” to be especially relevant. I’ve seen quite a few shots from White Sands of tents either on the dunes or Photoshopped in, and while they are stunning, it’s putting the wrong message out there. Some argue that staging tent shots and not “really” camping there is OK, but it’s actually just as bad, because you have no idea who you might encourage to recreate your photo or experience. I’d like to challenge some of the bigger accounts, whether they’re personal, community or brand pages, to understand the damage staged shots can cause — and to stop sharing anything that could give someone the wrong impression. 

I wish I could leave my favorite campsites and trails and trust that others will treat these places with the same level of respect as me, but it only takes a few individuals to ruin a spot for years. We can do a lot more than we might think to clean up our wild lands — and motivate others to follow suit. If you agree with me, please share this post and take action, whether it’s picking up trash or speaking up against something you see on social media. You CAN make a difference.

Elisabeth Brentano has been sleeping in the dirt with Big Agnes for a handful of years now. She’s a writer and photographer who lives out of her Jeep in the wild west, searching for the perfect cup of coffee and dreamy landscapes. See more of Elisabeth.

[seagullee]

silent noise

words: 3,162 warnings: mentions of starving one's self, bullying authors note: happy birthday mork bork lee i love you so much btw this is my first scenario so don't kill me lol genre :🌼🌸 angst/fluff "honestly, y/n isn't even that pretty, I have no idea why mark is dating her." "There are so many other talented girls he could've dated..." "There's nothing special about her." "ah... she's so chubby, she should diet." "maybe if she fixed her body and face, then she'd be good enough for mark." "she looks so bad in that skirt. Y/n please fix your stretch marks, thank you." "She should eat less. Y/ N looks like a pig." "Mark deserves so much better." You scrolled through the comments under the recent article that was put up on Naver. You were currently at the MBC building , visiting Mark before one of his last Cherry Bomb promotions. • During the past week someone had caught you and your boyfriend, Mark , out on a date. The two of you had been so careful the past seven months to keep your relationship on a down low , but the simple drop of the hood from the wind and slip of the mask exposed your relationship to the public. Your thoughts rushed around your head as the sound of camera shutters clicked filled your ears. "Isn't that NCT's Mark Lee?" "Who's that girl with him?" "They aren't on a date are they?" Mark had grabbed your hand and made a run for it. Once the coast was clear of paparazzi and pesky fans , Mark noticed the worry in your face. "Don't worry, I won't let anything bad happen to you okay , love?" "But Mark-" "The public were to find out eventually. Better now than later , right?" He kissed the top of your head and held your hands. A few days after the release of the pictures , SM released an official statement that yes, the two of you were dating. You had been dating a few months prior actually. The usual things such as " Please respect the privacy of Mark and Y/N" and " we hope you stand by his decision " were also included in the statement. Of course there were the sweetheart fans who were behind everything that Mark did. They sent loving comments to Mark and genuine kind words to you as well. You always loved reading their comments. They made you feel better about this whole situation but in the other hand , there were fans who disapproved of your relationship with Mark. The amount of mean comments dominated the nice ones. "Don't mind it , Y/N. The fans who write all the terrible stuff are just immature. They're the ones who can't get over them selves." He had said to you. You wanted to listen to him , you really did , but the amount of hate you started to receive was something you couldn't stay away from. Mark's fans had found your social network accounts. They sent messages telling you how much they despised you. You even got death threats one time in your Instagram dm. You were pretty sure you had over 100 people blocked by now. Majority of the comments body shamed you. You yourself weren't the standard slim and tall, beauty, but you weren't terribly over weight either. Yes ,you had your imperfections such as a tummy , thighs , stretch marks, and cellulite , but you celebrated these things rather than letting it get yourself down- usually. All the mean things people were saying were starting to get into your head. You now took a good look at yourself in the mirror and watched your self esteem deflate. "Maybe they're right... I could lose a few pounds... I need to eat less... will skipping meals work? Should I get a nose job? It all hurt. " You thought. Everything was just so overwhelming by now. You had shut yourself in your home for the last week, sobbing in your bedroom. "What has my relationship come to?" you asked yourself. As the days went by , everything had been getting increasingly more difficult for you. Today, just leaving your own home felt like something you couldn't accomplish. As you walked the street some fans had noticed you , even through your mask and sunglasses. They took that opportunity to spit angry words in your face. You just bowed to them politely and went on your way. • Taeyong sucked in air though his teeth as he checked the article on Naver for the nth time. "Mark, you've read the article haven't you?" The teenage boy looked at his leader though the mirror , while the makeup artist put the final touches on his makeup. "Hyung, I've probably read it more than you and all the other members combined. I've read articles on other sites too." Taeyong bit his lip. "I'm guessing you've read all the comments under the articles then as well. " "Trust me. I know what people are saying about Y/N. I've seen it all." Haechan looked up at Mark from eating his food. "I wonder how she's taking all of this." By now, all the stylists and managers had left the room for a short while. Mark sank back in his chair, leaning his head back. "She can't be taking any of this too well. She's getting attacked by pretty much our whole fanbase." WinWin commented while munching on a cookie. Mark let out a groan. He felt terrible that all of this was happening to you. You were receiving more hate for the relationship than he was. Guilt crawled up his spine. This all wasn't fair, especially for his precious Y/N. Mark ruffled his hair in frustration. "Do you guys know how many times I picked up the phone to Y/N sobbing? All of this hatred from fans has gotten to her . She says that she doesn't think that she's enough for me. She says that NCT won't do well because of this setback - I don't want her to think like that- I need to take some of the blame too-" Mark hadn't realized that his eyes had become watery. The boys watched in silence. They had never seen Mark in such a upset state. He was normally so happy and cheerful. The tension in the room was slightly released when one of the stylists who had been in the room earlier popped her head into the room. "Mark," she said softly , catching the raven haired boy's eyes, "It looks like Y/N is here for you." She whispered. The boy's head quickly snapped up. He hadn't seen you for a while and was dying to once again. When he quietly entered the hallway, he found you with your back faced away from the door. "Huh, Y/N looks thinner than usual..." Being a few inches taller than you he peeked over your shoulder, the small smile on his face quickly disappeared. Mark pursed his lips as he saw you scrolling through your direct messages , reading what terrible things people had sent you. He waited a minute or two and also watched you open the web browser to the articles , your eyes running over each comment left. He had had enough. His arm reached over you and snatched your phone right out of your hand. Realizing that your phone was soon taken away from you, a groan escaped your mouth. You sharply turned around with a glare and fumes radiating off of you. "Excuse me-" Your mood quickly calmed as you saw Mark standing in front of you. "M-mark." You sputtered. "Y/N" he breathed. Mark immediately enveloped you into a hug , sending warm waves all over your body. You missed him. You really did. Entering the waiting room once again , hand in hand , the members greeted you politely. Mark led you into one of the corners of the room and sat you down on the couch. You immediately cuddled up to him, his arms wrapping around your waist and your head lying on his shoulder. The two of you made small talk , avoiding what's been happening on the social media outlets. As time went by, you felt his fingers intertwine with yours. You smiled and stared at the size difference in your hands, admiring the warmth they gave you. "Oh, Y/N , we have food. Do you wanna eat?" You turned your head in the direction of Jaehyun's voice. Sitting up , you starred at the food and chewed on your bottom lip. "U-ummm...." "Come on babe, go eat." Mark dragged you over to the table on the other side of the room where the other members were. You sat down on the floor and gave Jaehyun a small bow as he put a bowl of rice in front of you. You thanked them for the food as observed as they all started to eat. You sat there for a while and watched everyone dig into the delicious looking food. Taking a small piece of a radish side dish, you popped the vegetable into your mouth and chewed slowly. You didn't want to admit it to anyone but you had been skipping a lot of your meals for the time being. Things that the fans were saying about your body really took a toll on how you viewed yourself. You mentally groaned as Mark put more food in your bowl. "Eat." He said while munching on some beef. "Ani, Mark , I'm okay..." you said while putting your chopsticks down. "Y/N, you barely ate anything at all." He pouted , serving you more food. You shook your head , gazing at Mark. Your stomach churned but you didn't want to acknowledge it. "Mark, I said no." "You told me you rushed out and didn't get to eat breakfast. Y/N , you have to eat something babe." "I don't want to eat ,Mark." You felt your vision start to get glassy. Nausea filled your body and the thoughts of the comments rolled in once again. • "God, how could someone that ugly date my Mark? Mark is for everyone , you ugly ass girl . Stop keeping him to yourself. Y/N darling, please have some control at the dinner table. Where can I send money to you? You need to get your face fixed Y/N" • You knew it was going to be difficult to date an idol, but you didn't think it was this hard. How naive of you , Y/N "I told you I don't wanna eat..." you whispered. The member's attention was now fully on you. You hadn't realized you had started crying till a tear fell onto your hand. "Y/N...? What's wrong...?" Mark's eyes widened. You sobbed and sobbed, not caring what the other members thought. The words spilled out of your mouth. "I can't take it anymore, I really can't. Don't people know that words hurt? 'Y/N , lose weight ' ,' Y/N , you need to get your face redone.' 'Y/N is ugly' ' Y/N doesn't deserve to be with Mark' , it all just hurts. I've been starving myself just to deal with your fans Mark. I just want them to like me and I want all of this harassment to stop. I love you , I really do , but it's just so hard." Hot tears flooded down your face , the members looked at you with pitying expressions. They felt sorry for what was happening . "I feel terrible for Y/N, I just wanna hug her right now." Doyoung whispered. Mark stood frozen in his spot , he was angry with the fans but he knew that this anger wouldn't get him anywhere. He hated seeing you cry, it broke his heart . Pulling you close to his chest, he hugged you stroking your hair and placed as many kisses on you as possible. " Y/N... please stop crying... those terrible people don't deserve your tears." You hugged Mark back but shook your head. There wasn't anything that you could do to keep the waterfall from your eyes from running. "I'm so exhausted Mark, I'm tired of listening to them." "Boys? It's time for your stage." You pushed Mark away and dabbed your eyes with a tissue. "Go on." You told him quietly. Mark bit his inner cheek. He wasn't going to leave you like this. Something needed to be done. As the boys filed out of the room ,Mark grabbed your wrist and pulled you out as well. "W-wait, Mark where are we going- Minhyung-!" He was pulling you past the members and through the doors to the stage. Your heart started to race. What exactly was Mark doing? The back stage crew looked at the teenage boy with a puzzled expression. He turned on his mic and squeezed your hand. Taking a deep breath he led you up the stairs of the stage. "Mark, what on earth are you doing? Are you sure this is a good idea!? You going to get booed off the stage if you bring me up there." "Just trust me Y/N , okay? " You trembled as you walked up the stairs. Looking back the NCT members stared at what was happening in front of them. You gave them a concerned look but all they could do was shrug. As the hot, stage lights hit your face, you squinted and gazed out into the crowed. Most of the seats were occupied . When the crowd saw Mark , their initial reaction was the fan girl norm- screaming their lungs out. But when then soon saw that Mark not alone,the cheering died down and whispers fluttered around the room. "Oh My god, its Y/N." "What's she doing up on stage with Mark?" "Yikes, she really decided to wear that today?" "Does anyone know what's going on?" You tried to pry your hand away from your boyfriend's but him grip seemed to be too tight. "Mark, let me go..." The boy covered up his mic and whispered. "No. I need to do this. I need to be the type of boyfriend that protects his girl in any type of situation. It's my job to protect you Y/N." You stood there, eyes wide at his words. "M-mark... n-no..." you frantically looked at the other NCT members standing on the side of the stage. They were just as shocked as you were giving you shrugs. Mark never was reckless like this- they never thought that he would do something to this extent but it seemed that he really cared about you . Mark uncovered his mic and let out a cough. He gave a slight wave to the fans in a awkward motion. "Thank you for all the fans who came out today... I really appreciate and love that all of you are here." Mark gave a small cute smile to all the fans causing them to squeal. "So... I know you guys know who this is." He stated , gesturing to you. You looked into the crowd and glanced at the bitter faces of the fans. They shot you looks of death and jealousy making your stomach curl. You wanted to run of stage , but you were so fear struck , your legs refused to move. " There's been a lot things being said about Y/N online , I've seen most of it," the fans started to chatter nervously " I know that the decision I have made has hurt most of the NCTzens and I'm truly sorry, but please, please be respectful to Y/N . I'm not asking for you all to like her, whether you do or not, that's up to you. I just want you all to think of how she feels right now. Imagine if you were in her shoes, would you like to hear and see nasty comments being thrown at you?" Mark squeezed your hand. You watched as some of the fans faces turn guilty. They shook their heads. "I really... love Y/N and I hate seeing someone I care about get hurt. If you have anything to say to her , say it to me instead ." You felt like your heart was about to explode as he said that he loved you in front of the fans. You squeezed his hand back. "Stop messaging her on her private social media accounts , stop body shaming her , stop telling her that she needs to get plastic surgery. Stop being childish fans who don't have the decency to give a guy and his girl some privacy. I wish you all could see what a great person she is without judging her by her imperfections first. Y/N is beautiful just the way she is," he turned to you and looked you dead in the eyes. "You don't need the reassurance of the fans , you're the most beautiful and most genuinely humble person I know. That's why I love you. You honestly make the the happiest guy on this earth." Mark turned back to the fans. "Please you all, please leave Y/N alone." And with that note, Mark took you off of the stage. The set was dead silent. He brought you into the hallway. You looked up at him anxiously. "You didn't have to do that." Mark shook his head and caressed your cheek. "Yes I did. I promise I won't let anything like that happen to you again ,okay?" The day went on as usual. You went home while Mark continued on with his schedules. It was 10 o'clock at night when you heard a knock at your door. "Hello- oh." You were greeted to a panting , out of breath Mark. "Snuck out of the dorm again?" "You know it." As the night went on , the two of you snuggled up on the couch , watching Studio Ghibli movies. You got a notification on your phone from a close friend sending you a video link.Tapping on the link it opened to a video that someone had taken earlier at that e MBC building. Biting your lip you watched the video with Mark by your side . "I can't believe you did that." You whispered. Mark chuckled and kissed your cheek. "What did your manager have to say about it?" "Let's just say he wasn't too thrilled about my behavior earlier , but what could I do ? I wanted to help you." Looking up at Mark , you smiled and gave him a soft kiss, letting all the butterflies fly around your stomach. "Taeyong hyung blamed it on my puberty , don't worry." Scrolling through the comments one last time you smiled seeing that some fans took it upon themselves to apologize for the way they behaved. Although there were still those who said the unthinkable . Smiling, you rolled your eyes and shut your phone off. "You're right." "Right about what?" "That it doesn't matter what the fans think of me. I don't have to listen to them. I have a guy who loves me inside and out and that's all that matters. I love you , Minhyung" Another sweet kiss was shared, oh, and lots of cuddling too.