#i felt like crying earlier like it felt so so lonely then add up me being awkward buying stuff too i wanted to cry even more 😂

[fr0stbearer]

the loneliness is hitting so bad 😂😂😂😂

[shirayuricky]

(oh you sound so busy 😓 and a month is so close omg may uni be take it easy with you, fighting!! i'll look foward to it then I'm sure it will be so good 🥹)

fluff but hard thoughts (???)

this one is REALLY long .. i'm sorry !!

well, it's so embarrassing and a bit weird / cringey actually but i thought about it out of sudden and can't get it off my head pls help (pleasee ignore this if u don't like it im so embarrassed so i apologize if u think it's too weird 😅

rlly ah why i thought abt it 🫠

this is abt gunwookie btw i love him smmm

for reference i wanted to add those pictures of him wearing that snorlax onesie but i don't know why i can't add images here

reader lives alone on her apartment so she's always spending her free time doing the things that makes her happy. she rlly enjoys having these self-healing times but still feels kinda lonely sometimes, that's when she ends up falling asleep cuddling her GIANT teddy bear she got on one of that big claw machines. only when she feels lonely, she tells herself. she is good on her own... but who is she lying to? she hugs that bear so tightly every single night, that's her best friend. she didn't got close to anybody at college and the routine is tough, that fluffy bear is the only one that always hear the feelings she holds deep down her heart and she feels comforted by that she even named him and takes it all around the house, when she's watching movies, cooking and baking or just being. one night she got so worked up after watching a romance movie with unexpected hot scenes that she just couldn't sleep thinking about it. suddenly she felt her body heat up while still holding tight to her bear cause she thought hugging him again would help her sleep faster even tho it didn't. instead, she started slowing grinding on it searching for some kind of relief. when she realized she was whimpering against the bear's soft cheeks and couldn't stop riding it so she started crying she felt so needy, sad and hopeless at the same time. she felt asleep bc of all the crying and her heart breaking she just wished her teddy bear could hug her back and take care of her.

deep in her sleep she felt a really soft touch, caressing her thighs, her waist and then hear face. she tought it was a dream, but when she felt a small kiss on her cheek she woke up to the sight of the prettiest guy she's ever seen and he was smiling so prettily and sweet but still he was a stranger, obviously she would scream. her high pitched scream almost broke the cute boy's heart. why was she screaming like this after telling him i love you every night. he was teary-eyed.

"WHO TF ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GOT IN MY ROOM YOU PERV?" she was freaking out, who wouldn't though? she was so disturbed by the vision of a unknown -tall as hell- man IN HER BED wearing fcking bear pajamas. who is tryna prank her?

he tilted his head to the side in confusion and said "it's me gunwookie"

she blinked like five times before widening her eyes and again asking herself if this is a prank, how could it be, no one knows about her shameful friendship with a teddy bear, so how could he knows the name of it? he must be a stalker.

"what are your intentions? why are you... stalking me? how do you know me?"

and he looked even more confused than her

"i just wanna take care of you, i love you so much too, it was you who brought me here and I'm so thankful that you treat me so well" he smiled again

something sparked on her brain and she looked around her room searching for the giant teddy bear until she noticed he was there anymore... it can't be...?

"wait... are you my wookie bear? what am i saying? that's impossible..."

he just nodded his head and smiled again

"are you for real??" and gunwook confirmed but seconds later his smile dropped

"why were you crying earlier? i got so worried" and he pouted sadly

oh so he is really my bear, she thought

"I was feeling too sad and lonely gunwookie :( that's why"

"is there something i can do to make you better?" he asked and she just jumped on him giving the biggest hug ever, she needed that

"just stay here with me please gunwookie"

"okay i won't go anywhere" and he hugged her back

after a moment he speaked up again "I'm so sorry"

"why are you saying that, wookie?"

"did i hurt you? you were near me doing those sounds and then you started crying, i don't really understand what happened.. it sounded like you were in pain.. did i do something wrong? please explain me and i promised i will apologize properly to you and repair any mistake"

oh this is gonna be a really long night

(oh 🍄 anon my tests for this week has ended and now i'm back to this. and i got your back! i found some pics of gunwook in a snorlax hoodie. if you're in anon, you can't share images, just links!)

so continuing on from where we left, you explained that you are not in pain, just desperate for pleasure. gunwook seems a bit clueless but when he gets what you're trying to mean, his cheeks blush in pink. he lets you take the lead, he doesn't want to hurt you. he just wanted you to feel satisfied in your sleep.

you ride his cock, bouncing up and down, as you interlocked both of your hands together with his hands. and his blush just gets more pink. he's getting flustered from the pleasure, sweet and soft moans spilling out of his lips.

after the both of you cummed, you tidied yourself up and gave gunwook a simple aftercare, solely made of cuddles. "sorry for that, i was just...needy." you apologised. "y/n, that's alright, at least you're...happy now." gunwook responded, wrapping his arms around you.

[yandere-fics]

♡ Selene Mommy Kink ♡

(Tumblr deleted it the first time i wrote this but I am determined to keep trying.)

You had always dreamed of having a soulmate since you were young, perhaps a cute elf who would obey your every command or a dumb as rocks werewolf who would be loyal to you and only you from day one, so needless to say, when you met your soulmate for the first time, who had just been flirting with another girl until you saw you and completely lost interest in the other girl, you were extremely disappointed, soulmates were supposed to be a wonderful thing to have, their presence would only add to your life, they couldn't make you miserable or fail you in anyways right? Turns out that was a sack of crap because you'd gotten stuck with the wolf god herself, a notorious womanizer who couldn't stop thinking with her dick for two seconds, it almost felt like the universe was laughing at you and so you would have to make Selene pay by being the opposite of what she was probably expecting as well, werewolves were usually in charge when it came to their mates so instead you would force her to take the submissive role in your relationship and let all your rage out on her.

"Dove, I'm very pleased you invited me back to your hotel, I'm glad you forgave me for that little... indiscretion earlier tonight." The longer she talked, the more you felt like your blood was going to boil, gods she was so frustrating, you were just so angry you'd gotten stuck with this disobedient overgrown child of a mate, sure she was a goddess and one of the strongest werewolves so technically the gods would view you as having been extremely lucky in the mate department but at the same time, her personality was shit and she'd fucked possible every unmarried human in your whole town so no you really didn't see how you could possibly be considered lucky here. Loyalty was the whole benefit to having a soulmate, they would be overbearing and sometime murderous but at the end of the day they were truly loyal only to you, meanwhile you were left with the one supernatural who likely had ever been with someone who wasn't their mate. She sat down on the bed with a smirk on her face which just made you want to punch her, under other circumstances you might have been blushing and thinking about how lucky you were to have such an attractive mate but currently all you wanted was to reduce her to a pathetic sobbing mess.

"Shut up, I haven't forgiven anything yet. You need to earn my forgiveness. To start with, I want you to call me mommy." You started to strip where you stood, you'd make her kneel and worship the very ground you stood on for the rest of eternity just to make up for how horrible it had felt when you learned your soulmate was nothing more than a filthy mutt, even then it still wouldn't be enough to quell your anger fully, though this did actually satisfy you in a way, sure everyone had gotten to see her intimately but you highly doubted anyone had ever been able to see her act submissive, it would be a sight for you alone, maybe you'd record her begging her mommy for forgiveness once you got her well trained enough for now. "Maybe if you cry for forgiveness from your mommy convincingly enough I'll let you have me tonight."

She paused for a moment trying to gauge if you were serious before she finally realized you were and got on her knees before you, her hands holding onto your ankles, trying to show you how desperate she was to even be allowed to touch this much of you, it would be cute if you weren't still plagued with the memory of that girl from earlier. "Please mommy, I'll do anything for you to understand I only want you, it was just so lonely waiting for you-" You kicked her hands away, you didn't need to hear her stupid excuses, if demons could wait centuries then so could she.

"Shut up, from now on you're not allowed to touch me until I give you permission, you will sleep on the floor next to our bed and you will only be allowed to hold me at night once you've learned to obey me. Now, do you want to cum?" She looked up at you, hers eyes tearing up when she realized she couldn't just ask for forgiveness and everything would be fine, the weight of her mistake was beginning to dawn on her, perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to train her, you just needed to make her desperate for even a crumb of your approval before taking it from her. "Then go ahead and jerk off to me, I'm not letting you touch me tonight, maybe in a week from now." She whined but despite that she still wrapped her hand around her cock and began to move up and down furiously, little whimpers leaving her mouth as she did, you doubt she did this very often, she most likely just went out whenever she felt horny, thinking about that again made you angry and you almost felt like stopping her but you decided you'd let her have this for tonight, it would be her last orgasm for awhile until you felt she had repented enough.

"Clean up when you're done, I need rest, maybe if you serve me well enough tomorrow I'll allow you to eat me out." You walked past her as she sat on the floor with her brows furrowed, clearly struggling to get herself off.

"Yes, I'll do anything for my dove, I mean m-mommy to forgive me." You clicked the light off, she could see well enough in the dark, she didn't deserve to have light when you weren't around anyways.

[kylieswift31]

Lucky

Beginning to think it’s time to branch out from listening to just Taylor Swift because I just listened to ‘lucky’ by Halsey for the first time and I’ve never heard anything so incredibly validating.

I've been chronically ill for over six years now with ME/CFS and I had settled into a state of plateau where my symptoms were fairly manageable. Earlier this year with a few big live events outside of my control, I entered into my biggest relapse since 2021 and became bed bound again. Listening to Taylor Swift became my lifeline and the online community that came with that has helped ease some of the isolation that comes with being too unwell to leave the house.

Here's a glimpse into why Halsey's song 'lucky' has resonated with my experience with a chronic illness.

"I am so lucky"

Variants of this comment are so often thrown around by friends and family when they hear that I stay at home all day. It's something they would love to be able to do, but show no consideration for the chronic pain and fatigue I experience while staying home that takes up most of my day.

"Everybody, get in line to meet the girl who flew too high. Who does it all just to be liked by strangers that she met online."

I had my first big relapse during the Victorian lockdowns when everyone was home at the same time. This time around it feels like everyone's moved on and I'm stuck here all alone. When I felt completely isolated from the outside world I began watching the eras tour on grainy live streams, and then joining this online community and contributing my own thoughts became integral to feeling like I was a little less alone.

"Did it all to be included, my self-loathing so deep-rooted. Inner child that's unrecruited, truth is I'm not suited for it."

I spent years trying to push through the pain to attend events in an attempt to fit in, just to end up worse off and in more pain than ever. Having to choose between what's best for my physical health and mental health is an impossible decision. Being able to leave the house once a week was the most I could manage without overdoing it.

"When I die, I won't have time to spend my money. But I hope that you still love me."

Everyone has an opinion when you get sick. And then everyone has an opinion when you don't get better. They're also going to have an opinion when you die. It's hard to believe the positive opinions when the negative ones are so loud.

"'Cause I'm so lucky, I'm a star. But I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin' "If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?""

The references to the early 2000's in this song add a layer of familiarity to the present day. I feel like I'm sitting on my bedroom floor listening to Britney Spears again and wondering what the future holds. Who will I be when I grow up? When the nostalgic memories begin to fade and the pain of the present day begins to seep back in.

"Why they come? Why they come? Why they come? Why they come?"

If you don't see how much pain I'm in, then why do I still feel it? If I'm in chronic pain and no one acknowledges it, then why does it hurt so much?

"And why she losing so much weight? I heard it's from the drugs she ate."

When pain and fatigue take over your life, just being able to eat is a feat in itself. All the "but have you tried..." comments don't take into account how little you have left to invest time, money and energy into the latest craze promising a (snake oil) cure.

"And I feel her, but I can't relate. 'Cause I'd never end up in that state."

When you get sick you go to the doctor and they make you better, right? It doesn't always work out that way, especially for women. Often just getting a diagnosis is a challenge. It's taken a lot of strength to acknowledge that I'm unlikely to recover. For the people in my life to acknowledge that too would require them recognising that the doctors don't have the answers for everything.

"A girl like that is a mother, must be tough. A problem child, I was rough."

Not being able to keep up with the typical activities other families participate in outside of school affects my ability to relate to the experiences of parenthood when I'm confronted with hearing about how much I'm missing out on. The gap between my lifestyle and theirs is too immense to feel anything other than jealousy right now.

"But what do you do with a difficult grownup?"

Ugh. Most of the time coping mechanisms are a necessity. I'm sure I don't have to remind you what the alternative is? It's incredibly invalidating when the majority of the judgemental comments I hear are a criticism of the small things I choose to do on my good days.

"When I die, I won't have time to spend my money. But I hope that you still love me."

At some point we need to take a step back and let other people make their own mistakes. On the worst days it feels like I'm one more bad day away from giving up. Having something positive to focus on (like the eras tour) gives me something to look forward to each week.

"'Cause I'm so lucky, I'm a star. But I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin' "If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?"

When you get sick and don't get better it feels like everyone's comparing your condition to the worst case scenario. Exclaiming that "at least it's not cancer!" and how you're so lucky because you're not going to die from it, while ignoring how the alternative path to death has alarmingly high rates within the community.

"I shaved my head four times because I wanted to, and then I did it one more time ‘cause i got sick."

I shaved my hair off a few years ago because I'd always wanted to try it, but I shaved it off again when I relapsed because I needed to. Last time I was bed bound I struggled to wash my hair. This time I was proactive and shaved it off so it was one less hurdle to deal with. Making choices like this proactively was empowering.

"And I thought I changed so much, nobody would notice it, and no one did."

Having to stay home and not leave the house at all has been a mammoth change for me, but to everyone else nothing has changed. When nobody sees me on my worst days, they assume my good days are the norm and not the exception.

"And I left the doctor’s office full of tears"

I stopped going to the doctors because I was crying in the car on the way home after every single appointment. After struggling to even get a diagnosis they say there's nothing else they can do to help, when they didn't do anything to help in the first place. Having a condition with no approved treatment doesn’t help. Slowly I managed on my own and made progress without the extra stress.

"Became a single mom at my premiere, and I told everybody I was fine for a whole damn year, and that’s the biggest lie of my career."

It feels like all I do is deflect questions about my life to avoid the negative comments and mask the pain. When I do try and share my experiences I'm met with pity or told to try harder. No wonder the challenges I face feel invisible.

"But I’m so lucky, I’m a star, and I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin’, if there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life, then why do these tears come at night."

What most people don't understand is that ME/CFS is ranked as having one of the lowest quality of life scores. Even the milder categories are incredibly debilitating. If I'm so lucky, why does it feel like the world has moved on without me and I'm left behind?

"I’m so lucky, I’m a star, but I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin’, if there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life, then why do these tears come at night."

Going to be listening to this song on repeat for a while. Art like this is integral to counter the negativity and make the hard days a little less invisible.

"She’s so lucky, she’s so lucky, she’s so lucky, she’s so, haven’t you heard."

Everyone has their own battles to face. You never know when you’re interacting with someone who’s trying to hold it together while hanging on by a thread.

To conclude I’ll leave you with my favourite quote from the folklore long pond studio session x

"No one pats them on the back, but every day they are actively fighting something. But there are so many days that nobody gives them credit for that. And so how often must someone who's in that sort of internal struggle must want to say to everyone in the room, you have no idea how close I am to going back to a dark place. Or you have no idea how hard it is to get to the point where you guys think is still shitty."

-Taylor Swift and Jack Antanoff

[slut4joel]

Too good for goodbye.

Austin butler x gf!reader

Warnings: crying, arguing, fluff, sad aus & reader, angry austin & reader.

Y’all…brace yourself, I was listening to music and this song started playing and for some reason I felt that I needed to write abt it with Austin. THIS SONG IS SO SAD.

“knock on my door, you’re on my porch, its about 11:30”

11:30, you knock on Austins door with tears brimming your eyes. This wasn’t how this was supposed to end. it wasn’t ever supposed to end. you loved him beyond words can explain, but word gets around, and rumors spread like wildfires when you’re dating a celebrity.

Austin answered the door, he looks as if he had just showered. His hair wet and messy, and his sweats hanging low on his hips. If you weren’t in the state you were in those would not have been on his body much longer but the thought of kissing him made your body tense up.

“That only means one of two things, either you’re a little bit lonely, or something right, and judging by that tear in your eye, you’re about to say something crazy.”

“hey baby” Austin says, his voice laced with exhaustion, but this could not wait another day. “A-Austin” you breathed out, the tears choking you up. “Baby? what’s wrong? are you okay?” he reached out to pull you into him but you stepped back, backing into his front door. “No- no i’m not okay. we’re not okay.” you said, now becoming slightly angry at the news you had found out earlier that day. “what? y/n, what is going on?” Austin was playing dumb you thought. How could he be so ignorant. “You know what’s going on. Don’t okay dumb with me Austin. You seriously don’t think I know about your little affair? Seriously? Olivia. Austin if you wanted her so badly you could’ve been a man and told me. But you were so childish to go and cheat on me!?” Austins jaw dropped in shock. Whatever he was expecting it was not that.

“like goodbye…”

you stopped talking. taking a deep breath and stared back at the infuriated man in front of you. “How dare you y/n. HOW DARE YOU!” Austin had never yelled at you before, of course he had raised his voice in past arguments but this was different. “You come to my home and accuse me of cheating!?” he was furious. But you didn’t care and wanted to add fuel to the flame you had started. “Accuse!? Austin it’s all over the internet! Why’d you do it huh? is she prettier than me!? does she treat you better!?” you paused for a second, contemplating if you should go on or not. “Do- do you love her?” your voice broke as you looked up at him, his eyes softening and tearing up as well. “Oh Y/n” “Austin please just tell me so i can do this without any doubts.” tears were rolling down your face at this point.

“Stop right there, don’t say a word, just let me hold you.”

“Baby no, please no. What the fuck are you even talking about? All over the internet?” You were in complete shock, how does he not know? “yes! all over the internet! why are you doing this?” you couldn’t understand why he was acting so dumb and unknowing of the situation. you pulled out your phone and showed him the picture of him and Olivia at the beach together, he froze. his eyes fixed on the photo in front of him. “Oh God.” it came out as a whisper. He looked up at you with glossy blue eyes. Tears threatening to spill over. “Y/n..please don’t tell me you believe this. yes that’s me, and yes that’s Olivia, but- but baby, I had to go.” “had to go my ass.” you muttered. “God dammit Y/n listen to me! Baz suggested it would be good for us to go, I didn’t want to, at all. Honey, you’re everything to me. And the fact that you believe i would do that to you hurts.”

“Girl we can fix, whatever is so whatever you do, don’t let us die.”

“Austin i cant. I cant stand here and- and, I just can’t be here right now.” you said, turning to open the door before Austin reached out and grabbed your arm pulling you to him. “I can lose everything, but oh God I cant lose you” he said, he had broke. His heart had shattered. You had never seen him so upset over anything. And that’s what hurt you the most. “Austin please” you cried into his shoulder. “Please don’t lie to me” you wanted to believe him so badly but the pictures looked too real. “Y/n. I could never lie to you. you’re everything to me. everything.”

“The love of a lifetime is worth at least a million tries. Baby what we got, is too good for goodbye”

The two of you stood their in each other’s embrace, both sobbing and holding on to one another like your lives depended on it. Austin pulled away cupping your face in his hands, “you have to believe me. I’m not sure what i’d do without you. I cant do this alone. you’re what keeps me sane.” he gently wiped your tears with his thumbs. “Oh Austin, I want to so badly. I-I” the tears were back. “I need time to think.” the words hit him like a truck. His stomach twisted and his eyes stung with tears. “Please no please don’t go” he cried.

“this ain’t a game in trying to play, Girl we’ve got something real here. You don’t just break up whenever it gets tough, so baby don’t you leave here.”

you began to pull away, needing to leave before you changed your mind. You had never seen anyone cry as hard as Austin was crying. He dropped to his knees, sobbing into his hands, and begging you not to go. With shaky hands you grabbed his face and kissed his lips. It was like the world had froze in time. Eventually pulling away, you opened the door and left.

You had just left your entire world in that house. The man you couldn’t live without. And the man you planned to marry someday.

And fuck it hurt.

[weanda]

Like a headshot

The Christmas period was a nightmare for me. Terribly stressful. Earlier fights and yelling opened up many childhood and teenage wounds. I remembered memories that I had forgotten for years or decades because my brain had hidden them from me. It erased them and I always hoped they were gone forever. These memories and all the feelings associated with them are like bodies emerging from the pitch black and each tearing a piece out of me. Then the same memory comes to mind again, or another one, and the figures tear out another one and another one. I felt my soul bleed out…

I experienced Christmas as fake, superficial and forced. My birthday is the same, because apart from my family members, not a single friend greeted me. Everyone has forgotten me. Everybody. That's why I didn't even have a birthday, there was no cake, no party, no presents, so I decided that I hadn't even aged a year. I deserve an extra year!

V spent New Years in a ski resort and invited me to join him. But the plane ticket would have been very expensive for me, not to mention the accommodation and skiing (which he offered to pay for, but I couldn't accept it) and I couldn't even take a day off from work, so I couldn't go... and R also invited me to a party and everything was going well until the day before when he canceled it. R gave a rather evasive answer, and it was very disappointing, especially since he thought he was in time so that I could plan something else… So on New Year's Eve, I was alone, drank palinka and went out into the city and watched with strangers and couples as Budapest was flooded with fireworks.

I was so lonely that my chest broke...

I have terrible headaches. Up to dizziness, nausea, uncontrollable breathing and crying. I sweat and my limbs are cold, I often don't feel the temperature, I'm not cold, I'm not hungry or thirsty, there were days when I just lay there and couldn't open my eyes. I have no energy, I can't move around the apartment, but I can't fall asleep. January is slowly coming to an end and I realized that I haven't slept in a month and a half (just 3-5 hours a day, and that's horrific).

Weeks passed like this. My family members tried to talk to me, but they complain a lot about each other (for reasons) and I can't add to that. I feel smaller and smaller. I visited them a week ago because I thought I could stand their company, but I couldn't. I locked myself in the room and couldn't stand to get up, look at them or speak to them. We had a fight that morning when I got home. I mean, I just ran away…

By the end of January, I seem to be pulling myself together. I talk more with my friends, I went skating, V and I wrote more recently and talked about seeing each other this year (he still lives two thousand kilometers away, but it seems he hasn't forgotten about me and that's warm me up), and I finally reconciled with R as well. It is true that sometimes he says things that hurt me, but at the same time I am not well either, and my reactions are also because of my wounded soul, not only because R is so hot & cold with me. It's true both but not fair, but none of us are perfect. And I can (have to) accept it.

But I always remind myself of my goals and how crappy the last month and most of my teenage years have been, and I promise myself that I won't let myself down again.

I've had a shitty month, but now I'm looking to the future. I learn more. I'm working on my motorcycle license, I'm studying to be a photographer (my coworkers support and are happy for me), I go to the library to study aaaand sleep a little haha, my friends and colleagues motivate me in training and running, I'm learning Spanish and soon I'll be taking guitar lessons. I still love playing on the playstation, and I want to finish The Last of Us again! I still go to the animal shelter to walk dogs, but unfortunately it only happens once a month due to studying and my work. I miss the dogs, but I will see them this week :) I tried 1-2 new restaurants and cafes this month, so that if I eat a little, at least it's delicious. But the goal is still to train with a high protein intake, so that's what I'm going to focus on!

This cinnamon and chocolate roll is my new favourite snack while I'm at the library 🤍

[yuuugay]

well my wrist is unfortunately hurting but not enough to stop me from writing.

Just small fic about my uro mc being comforted by their dados

"A real god, huh."

Kerí finds himself thinking about what that woman said earlier. The stinging feeling still present on their chest. It shouldn't have affected him that much but; no matter how many times they hear something similar, it never fails to make them feel lesser than they already feel like they are.

It doesn't matter how much he does for them, being their eternal guardian and all, he'll always be an errand god. A diety without domain, Kerí who will last forever.

Knees up to their chest, they start to think of all the times they've been brushed off, It felt so lonely. To suck it up without fail and show a nonchalant facade. But Kerí could be vulnerable here. No one's watching him shed a tear or two. They shouldn't be a burden to anyone with his problems. He should be strong to face whatever will come, he made that promise to himself. But they have been finding it difficult lately, maybe it's just the years shedding that resolve or perhaps the consequences of suppression.

Kerí doesn't care to think about that right now, only to cry.

He doesn't hear the footsteps coming towards him.

He doesn't hear the sound of fabric encroaching his space and wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"What the?!" Kerí said, absolute mortified he was caught off-guard with puffy eyes. "Unhand me at once! Or you will face conseque-"

"Dads."

Kerí softens slightly but doesn't forget to turn away not that discreetly and wipes the remaining tears from his face with his robe.

"Candle, dear." Rafael starts, with that softened stare that never fails to make Kerí feel loved. Not that he would ever admit that.

"Care to tell me and your father what's wrong?" He continues.

"We saw you here. You looked troubled." Nero adds, looking at Kerí with concern he only saves for a few individuals.

"Troubled?!" Kerí fakes an incredulous expression with a bushy brow raised. "I was falling asleep until you two disturbed me!" He puffed. But cheeks a lil warm from being caught. But play the part of stoicism and perhaps it'll kick in someday for him.

"Kerí, we saw you crying." Nero says, straight to the point.

"And! You did that little groan you always do when you're really upset about something. I remember!" Rafael adds unhelpfully.

Kerí curses to himself. Absolutely not happy that he showed himself bare. Let alone to two people he wants to be strong for.

"It's..." Kerí murmurs. Uncomfortable with the affection he is being shown. But deep down appreciates.

"It's what, Candle?" Rafael prompts gently. His head resting gently on Nero's shoulder.

"Stuff!" Kerí continues, but not very insightful.

Both dad's look to eachother. Knowing not to force an answer from their child. Their son doesn't need to give them an answer because no matter what, the both of them will always care for their little Candlelight.

Kerí looks up with cheeks burning but quietly asks them to not ask any further. Not because he doesn't want to open up to them, he wants to, but because words are hard to articulate for Kerí in an emotional time.

Knowing their son, both of them nod.

"Do you want us to keep you company?" Nero gently asks. familial love evident on his eyes.

Kerí thinks about it. Battling between wanting to and not wanting to waste their time with him just sitting doing nothing. But his wants win over him and he nods subtly.

"Don't mind if I do!" Rafael doesn't waste time cuddling up to his child. Nero does the same, but with less enthusiasm but with equal affection for the small gesture Kerí appreciates.

And without much conversation coming from Kerí and comforting touches and the occasional concerned glance towards the emotionally constipated diety. They start to watch the calming garden together as a family.

But not without Rafael breaking the silence talking about miscellaneous things. Nero nodding, seemingly understanding everything his soulmate is spouting and Kerí; who was once apprehensive, now feeling better by the second.

He felt safe and loved.

And That's what should've mattered in the first place.

-Ooga

[arrozconramen]

Cinema Paradiso (1988) (director's cut) is great

If you like the concept of movies and don't mind Italian people, definitely watch this 3 hour director's cut. I recommend. Go watch it and cry 🔫

<Spoilers Ahead>

If you love something, you must let it go. Such is the core theme and character arc of Alfredo, a lonely man who finally makes a close friend out of Toto, but ultimately pushes him away for him to pursue his dreams. Perhaps Alfredo had bigger dreams than working as a projectionist in a town without friends so it makes sense that he would want his one friend to at least pursue and achieve his.

The director's cut adds an interesting element to the movie though. Alfredo sabatoges Toto's relationship because he knows Toto would not achieve his dreams if he stayed with Elena. Perhaps Alfredo was wronged by a blue-eyed witch in the past (he had an odd fixation on blue eyes) where he was left unable to achieve his dreams. Either way, because of Alfredo's actions, Toto ended up on the big screen and achieved his creative goals, but it left me wondering, was it worth it?

From the beginning, you get the sense that Toto is unhappy. On the surface, he lives a nice life. He is a popular movie star. Strangers ask him for his autograph all the time. He has a nice car and a lavish apartment and a baddie in bed with him. However, he does not smile much in the intro and gets into an argument in the first few minutes we meet him. We also find out that he has not visited his mother or his home town in over 30 years. We also do not know if he has any friends. Is this the mark of a happy man? At the end of the director's cut, we find out that Toto has been sleeping around with a lot of women but is unsatisfied each time because none of them evoke the feelings he felt when he was with Elena. He still yearns!

The theme of dreams over relationships also happens in the movie La La Land (2016) but there is a big difference (also watch that movie if you haven't 🔫). Sebastian, the main guy, achieves his dream of owning his own jazz club at the expense of his relationship with Mia, but there is closure. He processes his emotions in a beautiful performance with Mia in the audience and at the end, smiles at her! He is able to get over their breakup and lives happily with his dream achieved! Toto and Elena's relationship do not have that kind of closure. Elena ends up married to another guy (his defining red spot is a nice touch) and Toto meets up with her. He gets closure with her from a hot and heavy makeout session in his car. It is implied they do not get together afterwards since she has to get back to her husband and son and he has to get back to his job.

In La La Land, if Mia had a quick and passionate affair with Sebastian, it would have been great to see, but the ending would not have been as satisfying. The passionate affair-causing love in Cinema Paradiso is great to see but it breaks from the theme a bit and makes me question earlier decisions made in the film. What if Toto stayed and traveled with Elena? Would he be happier? Is a broken dream worse than losing all your old friends and family and being unable to find love even after 30 years? Would it have been a broken dream at all? There is no guarantee his filmmaking career would have been impossible with Elena at his side. Perhaps this ambiguity is intentional from the filmmakers. Like many parents for their children, Alfredo makes a life-changing decision for Toto out of love, but sometimes these decisions do not pan out and may lead to a worse outcomes. To give credit to Alfredo, the outcome is not that bad. Toto becomes an accomplished film maker, but Alfredo never learns of the negative side of Toto's life and it probably was not his decision to make anyways. To push away the best thing in your life out of your love for them is powerful, but the what-ifs that come from the director's cut does take away from that. The steamy affair is worth it in my opinion but I can see why people prefer the original theatrical release.

Good movie but this has been in my mind for a while.

Quick aside: I know it is a sign of the times and maybe it is a cultural difference too but I find it funny how the movie portrays Toto's creepiness as romantic. He films Elena without her consent and stays outside her HOME in the rain until she falls for him 😭

[1pcii]

GOD YES THATS ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING. like they were just childeren... with such big shoes they wanted to fill 😭. i do kinda find the parallel between zoro and usopp kinda interesting now that you mention it, two sets of lonely kids finding the will to live and persue their dreams in each other </3. usopp and kaya are the good ending ig, they both get to do what they've dreamed off with a promise to meet again someday after they accomplish their goals :').

it makes me SAD like that was zoro's best friend and they TOOK HER AWAY WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. she's right by all the really important people in the strawhat's lives, zoro never forgets her and carries her sword and her dream and I'm Never Getting Over It

YEAAA 😭😭😭 and all zoro has left is her sword, will and 2nd earring to represent her by, he carries her in everything he does (everytime he goes on about how be made a promise to his captain and A BEST FRIEND. im crying i love them so much).

(side note i checked the notes for that post and saw that it was just our past reblogs/tags in there which is SO funny to me. swordposting was our kuina meets tashigi in loguetown au moment fr) asadfgjkh yesss. i just noticed that after checking too. true one piece transmasc patriots moment o7

ASDGHJHFGDGFSJG THATS SUCH A CUTE PIC theyre so cute and silly <333!!! (also random detail but they gave opla kuina zoros uniform w the shorts and tall boots and zoro the long trousers :O idk if it has any purpose but, inchresting). i absolutey LOVED kuina (and zoros) child actors, they were incredible and she made me cry abt their story all over again :')

INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE

THIS!! KIDS DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!! ^^^^ zoro yelling at kuina because she's saying zoro's the lucky one-- when he was the one who lost. how zoro thinks that's stupid of her to think and that she's acting like she doesn't work hard for her skill... and how that actually works to quell her self doubts for a bit hanfahfadim. Agony.

when the catharsis before the hubris 😶. zoro being the worlds first accidental feminist through sheer willpower and love of swordfighting alone. i love them forever

the fact her own father didn't think she could do it; her father of people, someone so composed and rational...

this is fucking me up because like, imagine how frustrated she mustve felt every time. like idk if hed do it intentionaly but the feelings that maybe you are the 'hysterical' one for being so 'emotional' around a person like that... i really wish we got more insight on koshiro/the background on him and kuina... i want to study him so baddd XO.

she musve felt so scared and alone and ill never get over it... the fact she only gains a LITTLE bit of catharsis RIGHT BEFORE SHE DIES 😭😭😭

animanga kuina is like that one ta or something in a class full of 4th grader lmao

koshiro: kuina we lost zoro again can you take over so i can check the woods to see where he is? kuina(internally): thats the third time this week and its only monday. this is the kid that plans to surpass me 🙄? i should beat his ass extra hard next dual just for this.

the teen angst in both of them rlly does add a little something. that does remind me abt this post talks abt how their ages being different sorta recontextualizes their story, its pretty cool!

ZORO ADOPTING MORE FEMINIE FIGHTING STYLES IN OPLA TO REMEBER KUINA IM SOBBING

i read this fic you linked earlier (will be writing a proper ask soon because it was SO GOOD) and thinking about how zoro in canon does similar stuff; wears his bandana to look more like her, wears her shirt, her sword etc... oda LET HIM TRANSITION FOR HIS FIGHT AGAINST MIHAWK PLEASE IT WOULD BE SO GOOD.

HONESTLYYY I will die on the hill that kuina and Zoro's fight is one of the best. it may not be a super big one but it is sooo narratively important and practically shaped zoro as a person.

but also highly recommended this other post that actually does deep dive into the choreography and how she compares to mihawk (MY FUCKING GIRLLL. SHES SO COOL)

god people having a similar amount of brainrot abt kuina as cora would genuinely be so amazing. like I get Cora has a teeny bit more screentime but kuina is important to the #2 most popular character in all on 1pc! put more respect on her name. not anyone else can say they've defeated him 2001 times!!!

it is sooo so interesting to me and i totally agree that sanji's thing with gender probably gets talked about way more because of how is behavior is

mh, i feel like sanji has alot more obvious to pick up and analyse complexity, his trans coding gets a whole arc while zoros is more a casual hc yknow? a lot more subtle. ig in a way reiju is zoros kuina but opposite in every way. zoros whole deal hinges on a single person and fight and conversation etc. the brainrotters get it 💪

THEIR BANTER IS SO FUNNY, like they had actual beef w each other before their fight its hilarious. kuina coping by abolutely ripping into other students is such a good concept, go boyboss go. 1005 DESERVES IT 🤝

also the excitement for irl kuina fighting is so real 😖. OPLA zoro Vs kuina was beautiful to watch (zoro's edgy ass asking her to kill him will never not be gold). KUINA LORE FTW 💪💪💪

SHADAHKNKAS saw u in the notes of some kuina posts and that made me realize that there is simply a bond with kuina and tashigi fans, who may even often be the same fan, because AOUGHHH KUINA I CARE HIM SO MUCH episode 19 literally changed me forever. swords + gender struggles are all you need to hook me on a character sometimes Maybe. the whole greatest swordsman promise... sob. also. something about zoro promising his name will reach the heavens and trans kuina. which made me think.. what if kuina and The trans fear of dying then having your deadname on your tombstone that you can't do anything about because you're dead. kuina dying before they even get to figure everything out and all of a sudden he's just known as kuina forever, and then zoro making a name for himself in kuina's honor or something idk (i like zoro's backstory) (KUINA )

THERE ISS. people who theorise that they are secretly related or the same person or direct parallels are so close to getting it but don't imo (no shade to those theories tho, I just personally find them narratively unsatisfying).

like they are parallels in that kuina is symbolic of the sexism people suffer and tashigi is an adult woman who has come out the other end sword swinging but ultimately so unsure of herself as a result. also the (trans)genderisms, we are all hand in hand 🤝.

MAN KUINAS STORY BROKE ME DOWN ON A BASE LEVEL AND REWIRED NY BRAIN. I had to take a break from reading just to let it soak in it's so good, a swordsmans promise indeed, that scene was beautiful, I love zoro the world's first a accidental feminist <3. zoro carrying on her dream with his will never not have me in hysterics.

FUCK YEA THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. I have soo many thoughts about baby!zoro and kuina and trangenderism. egg kuina cis zoro, egg kuina STEALTH TRANS ZORO ABSVDJFBKSHDKDN <333.

little baby zoro looking at his grave with the uncontrollable urge to carve out those letters. to carry and rearrange them and make sure they get back to him in the afterlife spelling 'worlds greatest swordsman'.

trans kuina makes me so emotional because ultimately I don't know if they were canonically trans but it's my FAVOURITE 'what if' for them. they never really got to be anyone outside the dojo masters daughter. the failure of a heir and the girl who beat zoro 2001 times. who would they have been if they got to grow up? come to terms with themselves and unlearned all that heavy, painful biases pushed onto them? as a transmasc who's studying into a (cis)male dominated field myself ik, the feelings of 'betrayal' and 'proving misogynists right' and imposter syndrome and inadequacy issues and perfectionism they might've gone through,,, sobbing my eyes out HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO MEE.

zoros backstory is genuinely one of my favourite parts of the manga idc how 'simple' it was it's still beautiful.

[dasher85]

Hello is it ok if I can please request an ayato x f reader where reader is asking for attention from their bf but he only gives her attention once he sees that they are starting to get really sad

Thank you for sending a request >.< I hope it's enjoyable

Kamisato Ayato x reader | y/n | you

1.9K words

Writing this while listening to: No Reason - Ryan.B ft. effie (listen on YT with translation)

--------------------------

It was raining. The sounds of constant fallen raindrops greatly creates a calming ambience. You looked outside through the window, feeling a little depressed.

‘Looks like I’m stuck here again…’ you thought.

It’s been three days and you haven’t been able to walk outside. You initially planned to take a leisure stroll with Ayato but it’s been raining since then.

You closed your book and decided to visit his office that was just a few steps away. Unfortunately, you’re only greeted by an empty room. Ayato wasn’t at the estate and you forgot he has been busy since yesterday. There is an upcoming event next week, so he’s in charge of organizing the paperwork and planning.

‘Right…’ you carefully slid the door close and went on finding other things to do. Roaming around the estate wasn’t that fruitful as you still feel… empty.

If only the weather was good, you'd already be walking outside by now… it doesn’t matter if Ayato was there or not… even his company would not be enough to quench this boredom inside of you.

‘Still… If he showed up right now-’ you thought while you walked along the hallway but surprisingly as if the archon had magically answered your thoughts, that same person walked in.

“Ayato? You’re back early?” you quickly greeted him.

He softly hummed a reply.

“Great! Do you want to drink some tea together?” you excitedly suggested. At least, if you can’t go outside, it wouldn’t be that bad to have a leisure time with him.

“Sounds nice” He smiled. “...but not right now. I still have some paperwork, maybe later tonight?” he suggested.

“Right… of course” you smiled as he nodded before hurriedly walks to his office.

Honestly you feel a little disappointed but it wouldn’t be rational to get overly depressed about that matter. After all, you know he’s genuinely busy with his duty. It’s good that he prioritizes work before leisure.

‘No matter, I’ll just wait when he’s not busy’ You thought, expecting that he’ll be done with work later tonight.

You leisurely ate dinner with Ayaka, finished reading halfway through a thick novel book, recited two poems, wrote down today’s journal and still… Ayato didn’t even get out of his office room. The servants had already sent in his dinner so you didn’t need to worry about him.

You, on the other hand, were feeling quite the opposite from earlier. The night was getting cold as you finally stood up feeling sad, thinking you’ve been completely forgotten.

‘It’s alright… It’ll be fine. Tomorrow’s a new day’ You slowly enlightened yourself to avoid those negative feelings. The last thing you’d want was to cry like an idiot because of such childish reasons.

The next day, you spend the day all by yourself again… same goes with the next, and the day after. You’d see him sometimes during random hours of the day but of course just like before he barely even got the time to reply to you. Eventually even after the rainy days stopped, even after you’d get to spend a whole day outside, you still feel… empty. 

‘If he can’t even have the time to eat dinner with me… why even bother staying here?’ You nonchalantly thought. Is it normal to feel this lonely even when you’re living under the same roof with him?

“I’d rather be somewhere else” you read the last sentence from the book’s contents before closing it. The book itself was reflecting what you felt, which certainly adds a certain slap of sadness in your soul.

Perhaps you were inspired by that book or maybe you it was just you… because you ended up avoiding him whenever you see him returning from work. No greetings, skip your dinner on certain days, spend a lot of time outside with your friends to the point of not returning at all and sometimes you’d be staying at your own residence. Not that all of these make you feel any better but at least there’s something fun to do… just so you can forget about being stuck inside a loop of discarded, meaningless, unimportant person. At least that’s just how you’d exaggeratedly feel right now. 

It’s been a week since then, you were walking back to the estate with a certain degree of peace in mind but suddenly from a distance, you can already see a figure. Not the guards but the estate’s owner himself was leaning against the gate. He probably has spotted you even before you noticed him.

“Why didn't you return last night?” he asked directly without sugarcoating his sentence. 

“Oh… you noticed?” You initially thought of ignoring his question but giving a reply wouldn’t be that bad… especially when you’re in this situation.

He sighed before pulling you along with him back to the estate. Perhaps starting an argument outside of the gate would have already been a sight for the guards. Not that you mind though… 

“I’m just worried” he admits as he made you sit opposite him at the tea table by the porch.

“Sorry…” you nonchalantly replied without much emotion, barely even looking at him.

Based on your actions, Ayato knows you’re not being yourself. As if possessed by a malicious yokai, he could barely understand why you’re acting this way?

“Aren’t you busy?” you asked him but quickly added “I know you are… go on, why are you wasting time here?” you smiled before casually poured yourself a cup of green tea.

He swiftly took the cup away from you, as he sat there suddenly bringing his face closer to yours.

“What is it? Tell me right now” He demands without averting his gaze away from your eyes.

Unlike a prisoner who was hesitant to confess their wrongdoings you solemnly spoke your thoughts to him.

“You have a lot of time for work, but not so much for happiness”

“You didn’t keep your promise, you didn’t at least eat dinner with me, you didn’t even spend five minutes talking with me… is it my fault to feel this way? Is a relationship supposed to be this distant? Is it supposed to be normal for you?” unconsciously you bombard him with more questions.

He calmly listens to you, unfazed as if he was hiding something or perhaps knew about it all along? You couldn’t tell what he was concluding in his brain but you still hoped it wasn't something that could hurt you even more than how you’re feeling right now.

Ayato lightly laughs, unable to hide his own amusement that you didn’t know anything about because this situation certainly wasn’t something to make fun of… unless, if it’s really your last day staying here…

“Of course not” He suddenly became serious again as he suddenly stood up just to circle around the tea table, taking the seat next to you.

“It’s not your fault” He whispered before bringing you into his secure hold.

“Are you making fun of me?!” you try to escape away, feeling displeased by the way he has just laughed at you moments before.

“I’d be feeling the same way too, you know… a day without you feels… empty” he calmly spoke, while effortlessly keeping you stay in between his hold. His hand was behind your head while the other was by your shoulder.

“Liar” you argued back.

“Life is a series of events strung together like a phrase of a sentence… Do you want me to continue?” He asked with much confidence in his voice.

Unforeseen by you, Ayato recites the poem you’ve previously written. You haven’t shown it to anyone, especially to him because he was always busy so it wouldn’t be possible that he knows?

“How do you know that?” you asked, feeling a little curious.

He laughs as he finally releases you, letting you see his face.

“I was going to invite you to the festival yesterday, buy some new novels for you to read but you didn’t return. Since you were just staying at your own residence…”

He seems to know that you’ve also finished reading the book you’ve been reading as if you’ve told him about it yourself.

“You… You asked someone to spy on me? Didn’t you?” You try to make wild guesses.

“They’re guards, you know that and it’s for your safety” he quickly explained.

“Not that. It’s about the books I read and the poems… how do you know that?” Once again you question him about his acknowledgment about those little details.

“Well… you do know we share the same bedroom, right?” he casually spoke.

“So?” you still couldn't make any sense of what he’s trying to say.

“Did you ever sleep properly this past week?” he asked again, as if he didn’t have the answer to your questions.

You carefully recalled the things you’ve been doing before… you’d usually sit by the room’s side table to read or write before getting to bed and most likely fell asleep but for some reason… you’ll end up comfortably inside the covers when getting up the next morning.

“Sorry for troubling you then… I must’ve drained your precious time” Even if he carried you and tucked you in bed, he still doesn’t spend at least five minutes with you.

He sighed, seemingly still unable to redeem himself. “You said, I have a lot of time for work, but not so much for happiness… then what if I tell you that I still think about you even while I do my duties?”

“What if it’s just you saying this to make me feel better?” you argued back with another doubt in mind.

“It’s true…” He worriedly exclaimed, hoping you would believe him.

You sighed, his words could barely erase the sadness you were feeling right now. 

If only you know… If only you’re not a heavy sleeper… perhaps you’d get to even listen to him complaining about how tired he was every day. How he wished he was better at managing his work, just so he can finish it in a second and spend more time with you.

He still remembers the promise he made. That night, he tried so hard to figure out the problem that everyone expected him to solve and it took him a while but eventually he was able to overcome it. He excitedly walked out from his office only to realize that it was already late at night. He was too late, you were already asleep by the room’s side table. Ayato quietly sat next to you for a long while, observing you, listening to your calm breathing. He sadly smiled before whispering an apology for breaking his promise.

If he was to admit it, perhaps even you would feel the second hand embarrassment. The way he didn’t miss every opportunity to hold you every night. No matter what position you were sleeping, he’d be holding you close by his side. Even if he couldn’t talk with you, it was enough for him. Ayato knows you’ll definitely call him clingy if you’d ever woken up because of him but fortunately you never woke up. 

It’s also why he's feeling nothing but energized during his work hours. Unbeknown to you, you're Ayato’s lifeline, his one and only happiness. During those nights when you were absent, he could barely sleep as if he suddenly had insomnia. He too, knows of this feeling… that feeling when you’re not by his side. Perhaps… if he directly talks about these things with you… and just makes things clear.

“Let me tell you something”

----------------------------

A/N: I can't even imagine how bad it would be if Ayato really did act like that for no reason. I'd rather make reader leave him for sure (just like the lyrics would be) but writing a breakup is too painful... Reader deserves the world. 

[eilai55]

Lonley

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff X Daughter!reader

TW: Rape, PTSD, Slight mention of drugs. ( Tell me if i need to add somtheing)

Summary: You feel like the relationship with your mother is decaying but things change when something happens at a friend´s party.

Masterlist

Lonley Ch 1

Sometimes you wished you never existed. Sure, it was cool to be the daughter of an Avenger, but it had its downfalls, for example, everyone expected you to be perfect. You had a good mind, easily reminded things and quickly coming up with solutions to any problem thrown at you. Physically, you were a straight A too, you could run miles super-fast without being tired, you had excellent reflexes and a perfect technique on any martial art. But that was useless when you tried to make friends. Everyone used you to meet the Avengers or teamed up with you in class because they were sure you would have an A. So even if you were quite popular in school and were always surrounded by people you felt so lonely. A lot of boys and girls had asked you out for the last years of your life, but you were sure it was because you had a pretty face and a good body, not that you thought that, but the press and everyone reminded it to you every day of your life. In reality no one had ever tried to get to know you better than some superficial data as your favourite colour or what did you do on your free time. It was a privileged as well as a burden.

You are curled on your bed trying to process the feeling of loneliness that had been eating your mind for days now. It isn´t a feeling that makes you want to cry, it´s more like feeling an infinite emptiness with a mix of nostalgia. The only thing that assures you that you are not empty is the heartbeat aching almost physically in your chest. Usually, you avoided feeling like that by occupying yourself with training, homework or going into the small missions that Fury let´s you. But today there is nothing you can do as you already have done all your homework, there aren´t any missions and the training room was occupied by Steve and Tony. You stare at the white walls asking yourself how it would be having real friends, someone who genuinely wants to get to know the real you but then another question comes to your mind. Who are you? You sure enjoyed yout hobies. But even you aren´t sure who is the person you see on the mirror every day. All these things made you feel confused and sad, you don´t like having this feeling so you try to sleep, sleeping is the only way not to think. That is why you wished you could stop existing, just for a moment, to stop time and reorganise your mind.

Drown on your own thoughts you fail to hear the soft knock at your door, so you flinch when a hand is slightly pressed on your shoulder. “Mom!” you turn your whole body to face the red-haired woman standing in front of you. “I didn’t know you were coming home today” you mumbled hugging her by the waist, she surrounds your frame with her strong arms. “Sorry love, mission ended earlier than expected.”

“it’s okay, I have missed you.” She kisses the top of your head in a motherly way while caressing your hair, and you feel yourself snuggling closer to her. You and Natasha have been always close but lately her work was swallowing most of her time leaving you feeling even more lonely. As the good spy she is, she notices the slight frown forming on your face showing your troubling thoughts. She holds your face with both her hands making you lift your head to meet her Green eyes. “Something wrong?”

“It’s just-” You are rudely interrupted by Clint rushing to your room, concern all over his face. “Nat there is an emergency we need you down in five” and then rush down the hallway. You share a look, the word “sorry” written all over her face before running back to her room to change to a better attire before facing whatever had set everyone on such a state of distress. You decide to make it back to bed and just engulf myself with the bed sheet. Staring at the ceiling you feel tears rolling down your cheek. Was it too much to ask for someone who cared enough to choose you before a mission, a grade, or personal interests? You knew your mother ´s job was important and she didn´t need you being all weepy for such trivial things, you just wanted to talk to her and maybe for her to listen and tell you you weren’t alone. Guess you could always wait for her to return and then having some quality time together.

It was 12 in the morning when the team came back, dark bags under your mother´s eyes, sure, she was a trained agent and capable of going through many things like no sleep in heaven´s know how much time but she was still human, and she needed to rest. Bottling up all your emotions you kiss her cheek and let her get her much needed sleep.

The day passes quickly, you do homework, train with Steve and prepare for the party at one of your friends’ houses. Looking at the mirror you wondered if your mother would approve, of course she was occupied but at least she will pick you up as she promised or at least you hope to. You send her a text to remind her.

You: Hey mom, r u still going to pick me up after Mateo´s party?

Mom: Yup, just call me and I’ll be there in a moment.

You: k thanks :D

Mom: Have a good time

You smiled to yourself, maybe after the party you will finally have time to spend with her. You smooth the dress before going downstairs where your date, Alex, the head quarter from rugby, was waiting to pick you up. “You look stunning” He stares at you, mostly at your body, for a long time making you blush while trying to walk stylishly to his car. You like him, he is cute and those piercing blue eyes made your knees weak whenever you made eye contact. “Is this yours?” you asked looking at the Volvo XC90, Steve had one before using it to create a failed experiment. “My father´s gift for my birthday” He shrugged. In the way to the party, you and Alex shared some glances and smiles.

“YOU ARE HERE!!” Olivia came running to hug you. The music was loud, and it was so crowded for not even being 9. You walk hand in hand with Alex and smile at some faces you know from school. “Here” Olivia hands you a glass. “What is it?” You grab it eyeing it suspiciously. Olivia doesn´t notice your slight frown, “Who careesss?!?” “I do” you arch an eyebrow. “just drink it and stop thinking so much smartass” she grins and walks away.

After a few hours you are sitting on the couch playing truth or dare with Olivia, Alex, Mateo, and some other partygoers.  You are drunk, the problems of the lasts days long forgotten. “Alexxx, choose truth or dare” Olivia asks, her voice a little higher from drinking, Alex´s hand over your shoulders and his foot resting on his other leg in a relaxed position. “Hmmm, I think I will go with truth this time”. The girl in front of you smiles mischievously “Do you like (Y/n)?”. You choke and almost spit your drink. Alex turns to look square in your eyes, you drown on his beautiful blue eyes, your cheeks heating up. Everyone would though you were difficult to flustered because they thought you as someone unattainable. Truth was that you had as much insecurities as any other and you hated that people thought you were perfect, because you weren´t and then they are disappointed when you turn to be different as they imagined. What if that hapens with him?Snaping back to the present you feel Alex´s hands on your face. “Yes, I like her a lot” and before you realised what was happening you were kissing him. His lips were soft and smooth, his tong dancing in your mouth. Soon you reciprocate the action grabbing his face and pulling him closer to you, feeling butterflies trying to escape out of your stomach.

When you pull apart to breathe, you hardly register the knowing looks and cheering for both of you, with your heart stammering hard against your chest. He smiles at you, and you thanked you are sitting or else you would be a messy pudding on the floor. Turning his head, Alex smiled to the rest of the room “Okay, enough staring, how about a dance” Of course most of them agree, they need to get a personality, you thought. Dancing to the music rhythm and Alex so close to you that you could feel his breath, the urge of kissing him overtakes you, and soon both of your mouths are connected again and again. He pulls you to the bathroom and slams you against the wall. He kisses your lips and start kissing and biting your neck. His mouth slides to your ear “God you are so fucking sexy” he muttered only for you to hear, his voice deep and hoarse from the alcohol. When he kisses you again you feel his hand sliding under your dress and suddenly the action you are going to make hits you. You don´t feel prepared. “Stop, stop” you whisper-shout. He does not stop so you pull him away, thanking your training for having enough strength even drunken. Lots of emotions passes through his eyes, rage, anger, and surprise you cower a little under his gaze “s-sorry” you muttered. He lets a breath and smiles a little bit “It is okay, we will do this when you feel ready” Grabbing your hand he lets you to the dance floor again. “I will grab more drinks, wait for me?” you nodded.

You were so lucky to have him, he was so attentive and thoughtful. You make your way to some girls from your class and start talking with them.

Olivia´s POV

Olivia was walking to get herself a drink when she saw (Y/n) and Alex on their way to the bathroom. She smirks knowingly and continue her way to the kitchen. When a hand grabbed her by the waist “Going somewhere doll?” Mateo pulls her closer to him. “Just going to fill my cup” She rests her head on his shoulder. “Care if I join you?” Mateo asks kissing the top of her head. “Suit yourself”

Mateo was one of his closest friends, she knew he rather be flirting with other girls, but she also knew he cared for her, so making her company whenever they were on a party when she was alone was on his nature. He didn´t want anything to happen to her, even if they never speak of it, Olivia knew he always has her back.

Deep on the conversation Olivia´s eyes drifted to Alex and something he was pouring on a cup. “What is he doing” She asks aloud in a tone that made Mato flinch. “Who?” He asked. “Him” she stormed on his way with Mateo following her close, but the crowed room makes it difficult for her to go after him. “Fuck” she mutters angrily when she loses him.

TW – Explicit rape start here

(Y/n) POV

Laughing at a joke someone made you notice a presence behind you. When you turn around, Alex smiles down at you handing a drink. “Thanks” you smiled back. The drink is cool on your throat and calmed the dryness after talking so much. Soon after, everything becomes blurry and confusing, you don´t know what is happening. A hand slide on yours “Something wrong baby?” The form is burry, but you can recognise the voice of Alex. “I think I need a break.” “Okay, lets get you somewhere quitter” Holding you steadily he guides you to what you can deduce is a room upstairs and lays you down in something fluffy, like a bed. Closing your eyes you try to regain some consciousness on the situation not taking note of the clothed sounds on your side. Your eyes snap open when someone´s hands start touching your body. “A-alex? Wha- What are you doing?” you try to sound firm, but your voice quivered. “It´s okay, just relax, you are going to feel so much better after this, you will thank me” He laughs making you shiver. His hands start touching your breasts, you make your best to stop him, but it is like you don´t have any strength left on your body. “Stop please” You whimpered praying someone will hear you. Your head is spining and you feel like trowing up “Shhh “he covered your mouth with his hand while using the other to make his way under your dress. You were prying for someone to stop him, your eyes tearing up, you don´t have strength to move. Just as he was about to reach your inner thigh someone slammed the door open.

“What a fuck” A masculine voice sounds from there and then Alex is yanked from you violently making you whimp.

“What is your problem?!?” Now is a feminine voice who you hear. Closing you eyes and making yourself a ball with your legs in your chest you try to calm your racing heart. Why has this happened? Why did he do it? How has everything come down to this? Why couldn´t you move?

TW – Explicit rape stops here, there will be mentions of it tho.

Olivia´s POV

Rage is consuming her, (Y/n) had been her best friend since 2nd grade and if that bastard was going to do something to her, she swore she will kill him with her bare hands. After checking all common areas and not founding you she starts to check all the rooms. Desperately she walks down the corridor when a whimper from a voce she knew well catches her attention. Opening the door, she is disgusted by the view. You are crying under a naked Alex who has his hand between tour legs.

“What the fuck” Mateo shouts angrily from behind. He goes straight to Alex and knock him away from you. “What is your problem?!?” Olivia kicks him directly on the balls making him cry out of pain. Making sure Mateo is taking care of Alex, she hurries to your side.

She rested a hand on your shoulder but when you flinch, she removes it. Thoughts running throug her head “Sorry” she mumbled. Lowering herself she talks to you on a soothing way. “You are safe now, that son of a bit-” She cuts herself trying to control the rage she is feeling. “He is not going to touch you anymore, you are safe” “Can you call my mother?” you whispered so low, she wouldn´t had heard you if she was a little bit further. You sound broken and tired sobbing with tour knees on your chest. “Okay, do you need something more love?” You shake your head.

(Y/n) POV

After what feels like an eternity you feel strong enough to sit up on the bed, the sentation that you have just lived a nightmare and nothing of it was real still lingers on your body and your head feels like exploting. You justo want your mother yo hold you but the look on Olivia´s face makes your heart sink even deeper. “She is not coming, is she?” You blink rapidly trying to stop the tears.

“I am sorry (Y/n), Steve told me she had to leave for an important meeting and that he is going to pick you up” She looked at you with a pitied expression, you knew she wanted to hug you or reassure you but right now her presence was all you needed, you didn´t want to talk or be touched. You were disgusted buy the mere thought of it.

As promised Steve came to pick you up a few minutes later. His smile falls when he sees the state you were in. Messy hair, puffy eyes and trembling frame. “What happened?” he asks in confusion and concern. “Just a long night” you mumbled as fast as you could trying to avoid the  fall of forming tears on your eyes. When he grabs your shoulder to steady you and you tense his concern rise above the clouds, you could see it on the way he clenched his jaw but thankfully he doesn’t push the topic.

Back at the compound you lose track of how many times you had washed yourself up trying to eliminate the horrible sensation of his hands on your body. The sensation is still lingering when you try to sleep. You have to sleep on the couch because you can´t stand the thought of being on your own bed.

Your mother, of course, wasn’t home when you needed her. You were not surprised.

You wake up the next day to the smell of Wanda´s pancakes, still in pyjamas and a sleepy face you slide to the kitchen. “Hello sweetheart, how was your night?” a small smile appeared on Wanda´s face when you walk in. “fine” you mumble and shrug deciding to keep the fact that you cried yourself to sleep. Toni and Clint are also there with a cup of coffee each one. “Here I made your favourites” You sit on a chair as she gives you a plate with pancakes. The simple action yet so significant that Wanda took the time to make you pancakes makes your chest feel less heavy. “Thank you” you wanted to smile to her but your boudy bring to do it. The course of last night sting lingering on you like your own skin.  “Is something bothering you, (Y/N)?” Wanda whispers on your ear before standing Up.

“Good morning malyshka” Your , who just entered the room, kisses the top of your head before going to fill her cup of coffee cutting your response. She doesn’t notice the ways you body cringe or the way you heart starts pounding hard against your chest, but Steve notices. “What´s the matter kiddo?” He says as soon as the tears start running unwillingly down your cheeks. Natasha snaps her head in your direction, a frown on her face as she rushes to your side. She lowers herself to look directly at your eyes. Her hands cupping your face. “Hey, hey, whats wrong malyshka?”  You can barely see her through the barrier of tears that covers your eyes. The lump in your throat makes it difficult for you to talk so you just shake you head and shrugging her hands off you run to your room.

Entering the room, you fall against one corner. You find difficult to breath, felling like all the air around you is being taken away. You bring your knees up to your chest and shut your eyes closed. Suddenly you feel like you were in that room again you heart racing and hands shaking.

Natasha´s POV:

Natasha looks at you when you run away through the hallway. She only manages a step froward when firm hand on her shoulder stops her. “What. Are. You. Doing?” She mutters between her clenched teeth exasperated wanting to go after her daughter. “Give her some time” Steve, who just saw what happened, says, clearly knowing something she didn´t. Natasha looks directly at his eyes taken aback by the security of his words. He normally wouldn´t interference between her and you so why now? What does he know that she didn´t? Is it something that happened last night? Was (Y/n) upset that she couldn´t pick her up?

“It´s okay Nat, she will come around eventually” Wanda tries to reassure her. The thoughts of (Y/n) had been so loud last night that she could hear them perfectly even if she tried not to, so of course she knew what happened. She wanted to go to your room and hold you, calm you or anything you needed to feel better but she knew you didn’t want anyone to see you like that, you wanted to be alone. She also wanted to look for that Alex boy and make him suffer as you are suffering.

Noticing the strange mix of sadnes and anger behind Wanda´s eyes Nat put the pieces together. “ Ты прочитал ее мысли (You´ve read her mind)” She simple states with her best poker face even if she was furious that she had invade yout privacy. Wanda looked regretfull “это было не мое внимание, мне очень жаль (it wasn't my intention, i am so sorry)” Tony and Clint share a look before excusing themselves and leaving.

Natasha didn´t know wat was happening, all she knew was that her baby was upset for something and she couldn´t help her or comfort her. When her head looked up to meet with Wanda´s eyes, she avoids them knowing what she was about to ask. Natasha inhales a sharp breathe, she wants to know what have gotten you in such a state but she also wants to respect your privacy, the conflict must have been showed on her face because Wanda walks to her and squeze her showlder trying to give some confort to her friend.

“How bad is It?” Natasha tries to mesure the problem in a logical way rather that let her emotioms take control but Wanda knew she was just puting a mask. She didn’t need to read her mind to know how worried she was and It was going to be worse when she finds out the truth.

“Very bad”

-------------

Next part

[maizumis]

Hii! Another Haikyuu dad au! Can it be with the miya twins, Bokuto, Iwa, and Suna? They get into an argument with their pregnant wife so the wife tells them to leave her alone. The boys find a loophole so they talk to her baby bump about how sorry they are to their mama :)

— HAIKYUU BOYS ARGUING WITH YOU WHILE PREGNANT AND APOLOGIZING

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, iwaizumi hajime, suna rintaro

note: female reader‼️ angst to fluff ‼️different format cos I wanted to write more 🥴 thanks anon! hope you like it 😽 I think I'm gonna do a part two cos this got longer than expected and I couldn't add all the characters! not edited, that's work for tomorrow!

# MIYA ATSUMU

atsumu came home after a rough day at practice, excited to spend some time with you and baby boy that was about to come in just a month

all happiness he had quickly erased when he saw that the home was on the same that when he went to practice, dishes without washing and clothes without fold

" ‘tsumu you're home! we missed you!" he walked past you, he didn't even give you a side look, going directly to the bathroom "‘tsumu all okay? I made your favor–" "could ya please shut up? a come home after working and entire day for ma family and the house is like this? what did ya do the whole day?"

you were stuck in your place with wide eyes and hands over your belly "I'm sorry ‘tsumu, my back hurts a lot today and—" "save it, don’ wanna hear yer excuses"

"go fuck yourself then, miya, sleep in the comfiness of the couch today and don't you dare talk to me until tomorrow" with that you were gone to the master bedroom, fighting the tears that were in your eyes

he thought nothing about it and went to the shower, thinking what was he gonna eat for dinner then go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day

-

freshly out of the shower with pajamas on, he went to the kitchen to eat something, mesmerized when he saw the little note on the oven glass

"enjoy your meal! we love you!<3"

not only that, but that you made his favorite, knowing he was gonna come home late and exhausted after practice

memories of the recent fight came to his mind, he didn't even let you talk your mind, his throat feeling heavy with the guilt that he was experiencing, maybe he should let you talk after all

contradictory to your words, he went runnint to the shared bedroom, ready to apologise for being an ass "baby, yer awake?"

"not for you" you told him trying to hide your sobs, the day was awful, your back didn't let you do anything, the meal you cooked was an hour of fighting the back pain, thinking your ‘tsunj would be happy if he found this

"okay then, good thing a have a baby I can talk to"

he knelt down in front of you, carefully placing his head on the baby bump, caressing it from time to time

"I was an ass, sorry, a bad person to yer mom today baby, a came home and told her bad things, she was hurting and a Didi care, can ya tell her sorry for me?" he felt a kick on his cheek and a smile on his face when he saw you laugh, even with the tear-stained cheeks you were beautiful

" ‘tsumu, not cool what you did today, I wasn't feeling okay and I missed you, we missed you" your voice still a little wiggly after that crying session you had with your maternity pillow

finally, first name privileges, he thought "a know, am sorry, am so sorry, ya deserve so much better angel, am sorry"

"‘s okay tsum, cuddle me as an apologize, yeah?"

he never got into bed at that speed, quickly cuddling you with hands on your tummy while giving little pecks to your neck

"ya don't have to tell me twice"

# IWAIZUMI HAJIME

before and during pregnancy you joined iwaizumi on his works out or runs from time to time, you knew he enjoyed his time doing it so, why don't join him?

today you were not feeling like it, morning sickness took over you and the bed seemed like the best place to stay all day, one day in bed wouldn't hurt, you thought

apparently it stroke a nerve on hajime "what are you doing in the bed? up! we need it go out! " '‘m sorry haji, not really feeling like it today, why don't you go and I make something when you return home?"

"what do you mean 'you don't feel like it' the only thing you do all day is laze around"

you took a deep breath before answering, knowing didn't meant what he say "well I'm sorry I'm pregnant iwaizumi, I can't help it. go on your run and we can eat something together when you return"

"fucking Clara wouldn't put this excuses on me" he murmured under his breath, hoping you didn't heard the mention of his ex partner

"repeat yourself iwaizumi hajime, I'm waiting"

"no baby— I'm sorry, I didn't mean it-"

"go out before I go out by myself iwaizumi, don't bother talk to me the rest of the day, I'm gonna make dinner and leave it on the fridge, I'm also gonna sleep in the guest room. fucking low of you iwaizumi, so fucking low"

he went out with a knot on his throat, he didn't need to bring that up— he knew you weren't feeling your best and then he still played that ex-girlfriend card. on the way back home he picked up flowers knowing you loved them, praying to anyone who was above him for your forgiveness

"I'm home"

"and I told you not to talk to me, iwaizumi"

being petty was right, the mention of his ex while carrying his first daughter because you didn't feel like going out today was bullshit, he didn't have an excuse

he looked down to the floor before closing the door and going to the living room to think about what he did, cheeks red of embarrassment because of his childish behavior

-

he waited for you to be asleep before going into the room, with the idea of carrying your to the king bed instead of this one, after all, he was the one that deserved the uncomfy room

before picking you he saw the pregnant belly, the shirt you were wearing rolled up so it was exposed to the cold air

" ‘m sorry baby, your mama doesn't deserve this, you have the right to be angry with me" tears were pricking his eyes, maybe he was thinking too ahead but would you leave him for this?

"I'm such and asshole, I hope you don't remember that lady's name" he told the fetus as if he was having an actual conversation face to face "behave for mom yeah? don't put more pressure on her than already did" with that he picked you up, without knowing you were fully awake the whole conversation

you let yourself be carried to the big bedroom, once you felt him place you on the bed, you tugged his shirt while looking at him with teary eyes "we need to talk tomorrow but please,stay hajime" you were still mad, but his company is what you were craving right now

"there's no way I'm not staying forever with you"

# SUNA RINTARO

rintaro was coming home late this past weeks but he finally had a free night! so you were excited to spend a bonding time with him and your unborn baby

finishing the little detail on the table such as the dry flowers and the candles, you hear the door being open "rinnie! you finally home! it felt like forever while waiting for you!" he gave you a sweet peck in your lips before going to his room to change his clothes

"oh~ I see you dressed fancy for the occasion! wait for me I think I have a dress that stills fits me!" "what do you mean? I'm going out with the inarizaki boys, kita is in town"

you stopped midway the hall that ended in your room, quickly walking towards your boyfriend again "what do you mean you're going out? what about what I made?"

"you made something?"

it was ridiculous to keep begging, maybe you should call it a day and watch some movies in the couch with a tube of ice cream, alone, again.

"okay then, have fun rin, don't drink to much and come home safe"

-

rin came home after a few hours out, he indeed had a good time with his old teammates but his mind was all the time one you, maybe he should have stay with you, eat some homemade food and cuddle all night while talking about nothing

he entered the house and saw you spread on the couch, huge blanket on with his highschool jersey on, long forgotten night snacks on the night table and Netflix on the tv

it wasn't only that what caught his eye but the table in the kitchen too, he walked towards it and saw it, the candles, the flower carefully placed on the middle of the table, the matching napkins and fancy plates, so that was what you were referring to earlier

guilt creeped all over his body, he didn't acknowledge your efforts to make a night for the both of you, was this negligence? he thought

going again to the couch, bending over so he would be at your height, he placed a hand on your belly before speaking

"you're allowed to be mad at me when you're born baby" he paused for a few seconds, thinking what was he gonna say next "papa is a fucking asshole— sorry, don't say that, papa is very clumsy from time to time"

"Rin?"

there you were! his hand came quickly behind your neck, pressing your forehead and noses together, lips brushing each other

"I'm sorry I'm so stupid— fuck, I really don't want to cry right now, I'm an horrible person"

you cupped his face with both your hands, eyes teary about to cry for a second time that day "you're not horrible Rin, it's just it feels lonely you know?" tears already going down your cheek, the sight made his heart ache, you were crying because of him

"I know you're out there trying to be the best for us but" your voice wiggly, you were really trying to hide the sobs you had inside "but sometimes it feels like you're not around anymore, I can't share the little moments I have because I wake up to an empty bed and go to sleep with the thought of you being out" full sobs were coming out of you at this point, days of pain finally reaching their point "and it hurts so bad not to have you around"

rintaro was crying along with you, you could feel his wet tears on your neck, where he was placing his head "and your absolutely right angel, I'm gonna be better for you– for the both of you, what about I take the day off tomorrow, yeah?" his quavering voice betraying him, even if you knew he was crying he wanted to be strong

"that sounds perfect rin... come cuddle me?"

carrying you bridal style to the bedroom, he lit your favorite candle and snuggled you under the cost sheets

"cuddle you, all day long baby"

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi i just read your work and it is amazing!!!! Buuut, if its possible can you make a part 2 of Scraps? Like, the first one was so good... it kinda needs a sequel😂😂 if thats possible

Had to think about what I would write for a little bit, but I think I've got it.

Scraps (Part 2): Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Kakucho Hitto, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Manjiro Sano, Hajime Kokonoi, and Takeomi Akashi x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.9k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

song recommendation:

A pussy clenching, breath hitching, thighs squeezing mess.

That's what you're reduced to as you're in class, the soundless, dual vibrator/clit sucking device hidden neatly in your underwear.

Ever since you'd been introduced to the Alpha boys, they'd made you their personal plaything. And you didn't really mind; it was something to do when things got boring around the sorority house. But sometimes... they'd take their experiments out of your scope of knowledge.

This was one of them.

You were given the toy and told that if you could hold off on cumming for twelve hours, you'd be rewarded with whatever you wanted. But you couldn't take it out, you couldn't tell anyone - oh, and you didn't know who had the remote to it. The device is only controlled by a discreet, white remote, and any one of the seven men could have it, changing the speed or the pattern of vibrations of the device. Right now, it's on a pulsing cycle, making you squirm slightly in your seat as the professor lectures about art history.

You're sitting in the very back of the lecture hall where no one would sit if they wanted to pass the class. But you're content with today being an off-day. You need to survive this challenge, first.

You can't help but think of the various dicks that would be yours for the choosing once you finish today's challenge. But it's only ten o'clock.

Ten more hours.

Around twelve, you're trying your best to keep yourself calm, sitting on the edge of your seat while you attempt a test. The speed changes from pulsing to a dull vibration, giving you a brief break from the jolts of pleasure that go straight to your clit.

"Ms. Y/n, can you come up to my desk, please? Bring your test." You look up at your professor, who is cooking her finger at you. For a moment, you wonder if she's caught on to your little predicament, but when you approach her desk, she takes your test and crumples it up before throwing it in the trash, much to your surprise. "I forgot to tell you that you have an A in the class, so you don't need to take this test." You sigh in relief, just as the vibration changes to a more intense sensation. You tense up, clenching your legs before thanking your professor and leaving the classroom quickly.

You can't take much more of this.

Around three pm, you're laying in the sorority house, face down in a pillow as you moan, the feeling of an orgasm building on top of the other six or seven ruined orgasms from earlier. But you stuff this one down with the others, tears decorating your pillowcase as you sob in frustration.

Five more hours.

_____________________________________________________________

At six o'clock, you're at your breaking point.

Dinner is at seven, but you can't even focus on anything except the buzzing between your legs. You're hazy, staring at yourself in the mirror and blinking slowly. There had been no relief, no naps, no rest from the torment, but the pink device inside of you persisted, making you want to cum over and over again. All you can do is think about algebra or something disappointing to prevent yourself from cumming all over the device and losing the challenge.

Suddenly, your phone begins to chime, and you raise it to your face, seeing "Alpha House" on the screen.

"Hello?" you breathe into the receiver, and you hear a chuckle on the other end.

"Are you okay, princess?" It's Mikey. The vibrator begins to pulse again, and you bite your lip.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. What's going on?"

"Come by the house at seven-thirty. The boys are excited to see you." Mikey hangs up the phone and you stifle a loud moan, trying to keep yourself together before you meet the boys.

One hour left.

At seven-thirty, you're standing at the door of the house, and the vibrator is going crazy. You almost didn't make it across the campus without your legs going weak, but you prop yourself up against the door with a hand, quivering at you wait for the boys to answer the door.

"Little sister..." Ran answers the door, his violet eyes observing your quaking figure. "You made it." You try to step through the door, but Ran catches you in his arms, stooping to pick you up. He holds you against his chest, cooing into your ear about how you're such a good girl, and how they're going to take good care of you before the night is over. You're deposited in the den, where the other guys are, and Ran parts your legs with tender fingers, revealing the device nestled inside of your panties.

"All day, huh?" Sanzu wonders, sitting across from you on the couch and stroking your thigh. "You're such a good girl for us. Kakucho, Rindou, and Kokonoi didn't think you would make it."

"We placed bets," Rindou explains, forking his cash over to his brother with a small sigh. "But you proved me wrong." Mikey appears, his black eyes roaming over all of those present in the room before sliding and focusing on your half-dazed self on the couch, legs spread and shaking.

"Ready to guess who had the remote today?" You nod, breath quivering as you look around the room at the men. Your first bet would be on Sanzu, but you figure guessing him would be too obvious. Your second guess would be Rindou, but he also seemed like the most obvious. So you're left with Kakucho, Kokonoi, Mikey, Takeomi, and Ran. "You get three guesses."

Three guesses. Five men.

"M-Mikey?" Various members of the frat shake their heads. Of course, Mikey wouldn't, he just comes up with the ideas. Takeomi seems almost too bored with you, so he's off the list, too. Two guesses and four men. A twenty-five percent chance of getting it right.

"Kakucho?" He shakes his head, leaning on the back of a chair and blinking slowly.

"One more guess."

Kokonoi or Ran. Fifty-percent chance of getting it right. Kokonoi had a class with you today, but you didn't see him move his hands around as you watched from the back of the class at all. But the sensation also didn't change during the class. You have to take a chance, though.

"Ran." The violet-eyed man smiles, then produces the white remote from his pants.

"Smart girl."

"But how--"

"On Wednesdays, my work-study has me all over campus. Every time I saw you or walked by the sorority house, I'd change the vibration." Sanzu chuckles then looks at his watch.

"It's time, ain't it?" Mikey pulls your underwear off, leaving the lacy thing on the floor before looking at the device, then back at you.

"You earned yourself some extra credit," he begins. "Are you ready for us, pretty girl?"

"Yes," you keen, jerking your hips up. "Yes, I am."

"Good." Mikey slides the vibrator out of you and puts it up to your lips so you can taste yourself. You suck the device slowly, fingers coming down to caress your swollen clit as you suck your juices off of it.

After this, he stands you up and bends you over the back of the couch, feeling a large, warm pair of hands on your hips. "I'm not going last this time," Takeomi mutters, pants down around his ankles. "Been waiting for this all day." You're more than prepared to take his length, your pussy squelching and sucking his cock into you. "Fuck, yeah..." The slapping sounds of your backside against Takeomi's hips begin, and you moan, feeling the relief of a cock filling you up.

The other six just watch, some with their dicks out, others palming themselves over their pants. Mikey, as usual, is standing at the back of the room, watching the scene before him with crossed arms. This is his foreplay.

He enjoys watching and listening to you squeal more than anything. He enjoys having control over six men who will bend you over and use you as a willing cum dump if necessary, like a breeder who requires his bulls to try their luck with you, the lone heifer.

And it's pleasurable enough for you to keep coming back for more.

"Why don't we record this one?" Sanzu wonders and Takeomi laughs.

"You're gonna have to ask little sister, here. She might not--"

"That-that's fine," you pant.

"Just a little POV thing," Ran adds, pulling out his phone. "Make it real nice, Takeomi." You look back and watch the man inside of you point the phone at the space between your hips, watching his cock go in and out of you with a smile on his face.

"Look at that pussy... she's creaming all over my cock..."

And each frat brother waits his turn to cum in you, with Ran's being the most you've ever felt inside of you at one time, and Sanzu's being the roughest. Kokonoi is taking his turn when you feel cum sliding down your leg, and when he's done, cum drains out of you in a small flood. Your fingers, which have been running over your clit and bringing you close to climaxing, are covered in it, and you want so desperately to stick them inside of yourself and then suck them dry.

Kakucho takes his time bringing you pleasure, tweaking your nipples, and running his tongue down your back and up again. You suppose someone else is filming you two, because both of his hands are on your body as he pumps you full of cum, ghosting his fingers over the slight bulge from his long cock.

Rindou is last, and you watch Mikey pull out his own cock, stroking it while Rin slams his hips into you, making you moan louder than you thought possible. He grips your neck from behind, choking you lightly as you let drool run past your lips and onto the couch. You hear Ran complimenting his brother on his fucking, and your raise on your tiptoes, praying his dick would stop slamming into your cervix.

"Take it," Rin whispers in your ear. "You can take it, sweet girl." You choke out a cry, then grip the couch for all it's worth as Rindou lets himself go. When he pulls out, Mikey stands, his eyes focused on your face as he walks around the couch, taking the phone from Ran and pointing it at your filled and abused pussy.

"Push it all out for me, sweetheart." You obey, feeling the cum leak out of you rapidly before Mikey stands, swiping his cockhead over your pussy lips. "You haven't cum yet?" You shake your head, breathing heavily. "Go ahead and cum on my dick." Mikey enters you and fiddles with your swollen clit, bringing you back to the edge and not relenting. You get no warning prior to the orgasm crashing over you; the feeling of release almost taking you out.

"Oh my fucking god," you cry out, and Mikey pistons his hips a little faster as you clench around him.

"That's a good pussy," he grunts, left hand gripping your hip while he cums inside of you, growling low in his throat. When he's done, he backs away, watching you push out his cum, too. "Now I want you to get on the floor and lick it up," he orders you. "Lick all of our cum up."

You get on your knees and lick the puddle off the polished wooden floor, each man watching you with slack jaws. When you're done, you show Mikey your tongue. He approaches you, grabs your throat, and spits in it, closing your mouth as you swallow that, too.

"Such a good little slut, aren't you?"

[enthusiasticharry]

Lonely this Christmas

summary: you and Harry broke up earlier in the year, but at Columbia’s Christmas party you see each other again, and you both realise just how much you miss each other

author's note: ahhhh i don’t think i've ever been so excited to post one of my works as i am this one and i hope you all enjoy my baby. the reader in this is musician!yn and i have so many other ideas for the little story line, so if you'd like to hear them, please let me know!

word count: 11k of baso angst, really fluffy fluff and some of the best smut I think i’ve ever written. there’s deepthroating... face-sitting... really just the whole shebang. 

masterlist    |   please speak to me about LTC here! 

You truly believed that Christmas was the best time of the year. 

You loved everything about the festive time of year. From decorating the house, to listening to the music. From spending time with your family, to cosying up on the sofa and watching Christmas films. It was a special time of year, where everyone seemed to relax and walk around with joyous looks on their faces because no matter the year they’d have, it was nearly over and it’s finally time to celebrate the best aspects of the time that had passed. 

You found yourself thankful for the year, but also thankful that it was over. This year had been one of the best, but also one of the worst years of your life. The thing that caused the year to not be the best that it could was the split you had with your long-term boyfriend. It was messy, and absolutely heartbreaking on your side and because it was such a big part of the year, it became one of the memories that you wished to ignore but you found yourself struggling too. On a brighter side, you had won your first Brit award this year for Best New Artist. It was a turning point in your career, for certain. 

One thing that you’ve never enjoyed about Christmas is parties. You would much rather stay within the walls of your own house and spend your evenings alone, but being in the industry that you are it becomes a little harder. The Columbia Christmas Party happen’s every year, but this was you first year signed to the Record Label, so the first year you had been invited. You were shocked to be invited, but found yourself to be excited and dreading the experience all at once. 

The thing that you found yourself thinking and worrying about the most was what you were going to wear. You wanted to impress everyone there, since you had found this new stardom for yourself and you had created this name for yourself which you hadn’t had before. After consulting with your stylist, you settled on a custom Gucci dress that was made for you to wear specifically to this event. The dress itself was a Christmas-green velvet material, which landed to about your mid-thigh with a square neckline. Attached to the square straps of the neckline, were tulle sleeves of the same colour that bunched at your wrists. It hugged your curves perfectly and once you’d added your black scrappy heels you really felt beautiful. Your natural features are accentuated, and you, for the first time in a long time, feel beautiful within your own skin. 

That all changed the second you walked into the party. 

You felt as though all eyes were on you, as though everyone was watching every step that you took to see what you’d do. It made you feel uncomfortable and immediately feel as though the dress you are wearing wasn’t right, it was too short and you needed to cover up. You were maybe 98% certain that they weren’t thinking about what you were wearing, but more so who you’ve just clocked eyes with. 

You knew he was going to be here, and you had prepared yourself for the inevitable, but seeing him stood there completely changed everything that you had prepared for. You both were signed to the same record label, years after the two of you had met though, so it was no surprise that he was sat at one of the tables with a group of people around him as he spoke and laughed at what they were all taking about.

You tried to ignore the pinch within your heart, but it was hard. You weren’t the one who broke it off, and if things had gone according to your plan, you would still be together right now. 

You had met Harry a few years ago, when you had first moved to London and you were bar and pub hopping, singing and hoping that you’d somehow stumble upon someone who could help you start your career. It was completely by accident that you both had met, and looking back at it quite embarrassing on your part. You were in the middle of your set when he walked in, as well as Mitch and Sarah, but you hadn’t seen them at that point. You had recently learnt how to play Sign of the Times on the piano and you had purposely brought your small keyboard out with you so you could play the song. Looking back on it, you probably wouldn’t have sung the song if you did know that he was there, but you didn’t know so you sung it. It was a little shaky at the start due to your nerves about playing the song for the first time out of the comfort of your room but you quickly found your groove, and you finished strong. Harry had later told you that, after a little bit of teasing from Mitch and Sarah, he knew that from how in awe he was of you he just had to speak to you. He walked up to you whilst you were in the middle of throwing your celebratory shot back that you always take after finishing your set and the first thing you ever said to him was, “Fuck!” 

You always thought that would be a story you’d be able to tell your grandchildren, and you both had even spoken about it, but it just hadn’t worked out. 

He seemed okay, which you were happy about. His new album had just come out, and you don’t think you’ve ever cried at a record as you did at that one. You knew it was about you, it was hard not to. All of the little hints that he left throughout his songs would blow over anyone else head, but you knew the true meaning of them and you think that’s one of the reasons you found it so emotional. He was smiling as he spoke to the people, briefly taking sips of his drink every now and then, which was only water so you wondered whether he’d drove there. You both would be flying home soon, but this would be the first time in three years that you’d be flying home alone. 

To stop yourself from crying, you quickly make you way over to the bar. After running your eyes over the cocktail menu, your eyes immediately pricked at the sight of one, and you could stop the words as they left your lips: “A cherry bomb fizz please.” 

You watched as the bartender added a cherry and some maraschino liqueur, before topping the drink off with Champagne. The drink was quite sour, but you quite liked it. It caused your lips to purse and eyebrows to widen, in a good way you must add. 

“Could never handle your alcohol, could you?” 

You could feel him before you heard him, but you didn’t want to turn around. Why he felt it okay to come up and talk to you were unsure about, but at the same time you had been hoping that he would. Why you were hoping that he would you were also unsure about, but you’re certain it had something to do with the fact that you weren’t quite over him. 

“I think you’re mistaken.” You say, taking another sip of your drink, “You were the one who could never handle your alcohol. And this is just sour.” 

He hums, as though he isn’t believing a word that you say, “If you say so, love.” 

“Love?” You say, raising your eyebrow at him whilst throwing back the rest of your drink, “Thought those days were well over.” 

“Force of habit, ‘suppose.” He shrugs, “I have a few of them when it comes to you.” 

“You grew out of them.” I shrug, “Can’t remember the last time you called me love whilst we were together.” 

He drops his eyes to the counter, and you know you’ve done what you’re supposed to. This is the first time you’ve spoken to since you broke up, and you can’t believe that it’s at a Christmas party of all places. He also had the audacity to call you love, something that you couldn’t believe he had the balls to do. The last few months of your relationship you were lucky if he even looked at you, and here he now was calling you love as though it’s totally okay to do so.

“I’ll always call you love.” He says, lifting his eyes up from the counter to look at you once more, “I’ll always care about you.” 

“Where was this five months ago?” You ask, unable to stop yourself. 

Your break up, in your opinion, came out of nowhere. You knew something had changed in your relationship, since he hardy had the time for you at the end of your time together. He’d get up in the morning and wouldn’t touch, or even kiss you. Then, when he’d come home it would be the exact same thing, he’d slip into bed and to stop yourself from feeling as though you were going to cry, you’d pretend you were asleep and hope that you’d actually fall asleep. He never told you a reason for breaking up with you, apart from that he needed space and that he couldn’t be with you. That was probably the thing that hurt you the most. He broke up with you, but you never really had a real reason why. 

“I just needed to leave.” He says, “That was my main focus.” 

You try to ignore your heart breaking all over again but it’s hard to, when it’s the only thing you can think about. 

“Why now?” You say, “Why are you doing this now?” 

“YN—”

You shake your head, “I don’t think I want to hear it. I’m going to go.” 

“Don’t—”

“—YN!” You feel an arm thrown around your shoulder, one that you immediately realise is Jeff once you register his voice and his face once you turn to him, “I haven’t seen you in months! How are you?” 

You can immediately tell that he’s drunk. From the slight slurring of his words, to the smell of alcohol on his breath as he speaks. You’re just as shocked to see him as he is to see you. 

“I’m good, Jeff, thanks.” You smile, at him, trying to push the conversation you’ve just had with his friend out of your mind, “How are you?” 

“I’m drunk.” He laughs, squeezing your shoulder slightly, “But! I’s nice to see you two together again!” 

The whole ignoring the situation doesn’t quite go to plan. Once he’s said those words you immediately draw your eyes towards Harry. You’ve never wanted to leave a conversation as much as you did this one. You look at Harry, but he isn’t looking at you. 

He gasps, “You should come over to the table! We’re all here and it’ll just be like old times.” 

“I couldn’t possibly. . .” You shake your head.

“You can!” He says, “Come on, I won’t take no for an answer! And H, hurry up with those drinks.” 

Jeff walks you away from the bar and towards the table that you noticed earlier when you noticed Harry for the first time this evening. Glenne, Mitch and Sarah are there, as well as Kid and a few other producers that you recognise from working on Harry’s album, as well as a few songs from yours also. You knew that just because you and Harry broke up you couldn’t expect the friendships that had formed because of you two to just stop altogether. 

“YN!” There’s a course of cheers and Sarah’s the first to stand up and wrap her arms around you. Out of everyone, Sarah was the person who you were closest with out of Harry’s band. She had joined Harry’s band after you and Harry had been dating for a year or so when Sarah joined the band, and you two instantly clicked and became the closest of friends. You had spoken a few times with her since you had broke up, but nothing compared to what you used to. You weren’t surprised though, she was Harry’s drummer first and your friend after — or that’s what you told yourself to make you feel slightly better. 

“Hi.” You smile, dropping down into the spare seat next to Sarah. Words are thrown around the table of glee that you’re there, as well as questions as to why you haven’t been in contact. You know they’re drunk, and you suspect that is why they’re saying all of the things they are. You were quick to fall out of the conversation as it moved onto the show that they did the day prior to celebrate the release of Harry’s album. You suppose the reason your feelings were so heightened today was due to your hearing the album for the first time yesterday and then replaying it today.

It was completely different to Harry Styles but still so Harry. You hated how his music made your feel, the sad and the happy ones, as well as all in between. Harry returned to the table shorty after clutching drinks in his hands, and under his arms. Why he didn’t just make two trips, you would never know, but it’s lucky that all the drinks made it without any spillages. 

“We were just talking about yesterday.” Glenne says, taking a sip of her drink as she does before turning towards you, “Have you heard the album, YN?” 

“You don’t have too—” Harry turns to your briefly. 

“I have.” You nod, “It’s good, a masterpiece even. You should be proud of it, H.” 

You can see his shoulder tense, and from knowing him as well as you do, you wouldn’t be surprised if his heart just sunk to the bottom of his stomach. If you’ve listened to the album, it means that you’ve heard the song that Harry hoped you hadn’t. 

“What would you say is your favourite?” 

You look directly at him as you say the next words, and you hope he listens to them, “Probably Cherry.” 

The other’s carry on talking as though you hadn’t said anything at all, but Harry doesn’t open his mouth again. He doesn’t stop looking at you though, and the way you look gorgeously defeated. A part of him wondered whether he was the one who caused you to be this way. About a month ago he asked some producers he knew that were working on your album with you how you are, and they said that you just seemed sad. It broke him to hear those words, just the words he had said to you all those months ago had broken you. Out of the blue, probably not but due to you not paying any attention, the group all move in, including you and Harry to have a reminiscent group photo.

He does open his mouth again when the group disperse to the dance floor, leaving the two of you all alone at the table.

“I’m sorry.” 

You don’t lift your eyes up from the end of the table cloth you’re messing with, an exasperated laugh leaving your lips, “What for? Breaking up with me? Taking everything from me? Or, I don’t know, using that in your song?” 

“I thought you wouldn’t mind.” 

“You thought I wouldn’t mind.” You shake your head, completely baffled at his words, “Why would you think that? I trusted you with that, and now it’s on the end of one of your songs.” 

“I’m sorry about everything, but especially that.” He says, and you can tell he’s being genuine with the look in his eyes. He looks as though he’s about to cry. 

“Why did you do it?” I asks, “You could’ve asked me. I would’ve said yes, I swear to you.” 

“I was nervous.” He says, “We didn’t leave on the best of terms, and I felt as though asking would’ve have been the best.” 

“So you decided to do it anyway?” 

“Will you forgive me, please?” He asks, and you can tell his voice is about to break, “Please.” 

“That’s it, Harry.” You say, “I don’t think I can.” 

The next morning you awake with a slight hangover, which wasn’t surprising because once you’d left quickly after saying your last words to Harry, and opened a bottle of vodka that you had in your cupboard. That bottle now sits on your bedside table, three-quarters of it drunk and the cause of your hangover. You were thankful that you hadn’t gotten too drunk before you left the party, due to the wraths of paparazzi that were there as you left. You remember leaving with your head down, ignoring their calls and questions, as well as their their cameras flashed at you. You had gotten into your car, your driver had smiled at you and the second the car started moving away from the club you found yourself unable to stop the tears that streamed down your face. 

This wasn’t the first time that you’d done this since you’ve broken up with Harry, but this was certainly the worse you’ve felt since you’ve done so. Your head had its own heartbeat, and you felt as though your were stable on your feet as you trudged towards the kitchen to have some orange juice, your remedy for your hangovers to say the least. It was always something that Harry thought ahead about when you were together. If he knew that the two of you were going out he’d always stock up the fridge. The amounts of time since that you’ve gotten drunk and not had any orange juice within the house is quite atrocious and he knew from experience that they never ended well.

You drink your first glass of the drink quickly, and pour your second one before making you way back into your bedroom. Due to the amount of time you spent in LA, you had purchased your second apartment here, your first being in London. It wasn’t the nicest ever, but it was good enough for you when you were here, and something that you were thankful to have when you woke up from nights like these. 

You fall back down upon your bed and the first you think you pick up is your phone, shocked at the thousands of notifications your found on it. You’re still slightly asleep so you rub your eyes a few times before clicking upon the instagram app. The thousands of notifications are dm’s and comments upon your photos. After clicking through the notifications, you find the culprit sat with a lovely love heart emoji on Glenne’s story. 

At some point that morning, probably whilst you were growing your sorrows away with vodka, she had posted the photo of you all on her story with the caption ‘the band’s back together,’ a heart emoji and tagged you in it. All the messages were asking whether you and Harry were back together again, not because you’d ever gone public with your relationship, but Harry had gone public with your breakup in his interview with the Rolling Stones and with Zane Lowe. He was very respectful in the way that he spoke about it, which was all you ask for. You hadn’t actively gone out to watch and read what he was saying, but your manager had warned you about them before you had done some interviews and you were curious to say the least what they were about. 

In the photo you could tell that you and Harry were the only ones who were sober. Everyone else had drunken grins on their faces whilst you and Harry, to say the least, had very uncomfortable smiles across both of your lips. It annoyed you slightly that the two of you couldn’t even be in the same place anymore without having messages upon messages about whether or not you’re back together. Anyone with a brain could see that you certainly weren’t just by the expression on both of your faces. 

You weren’t annoyed, or angry that the photo had been posted because you wouldn’t have taken the photo if you didn’t want it to be posted, but you did take the photo. You were always taking photos together before the breakup, and photo booths were you speciality. It’s another thing that you had hardly done since the breakup, so it was nice to see the photo but deep down a part of you wished that it hadn’t have been taken. 

It’s all over all of the social media’s, and you decide that it’s probably best if you just put your phone down. You’re about place it on your bedside table when a notification pops up on the top of your screen, and without thinking, you tap on it, sending you straight to the messages app and to who had sent you the message.

Harry: YN? 

Why he was sending you a message in the first place, you had no idea. Why he was messaging your so early in the morning was also something that confused you even more. 

Harry: I know you’re reading this. 

Harry: Your read receipts are on. 

You curse yourself for being so click-happy when you see a notification, and more so for having your read receipts on because you know you can remove them but you don’t quite know how to. You contemplate for a few seconds what to say in your drunken, tired haze, before typing out the message: 

YN: Can I help you? 

His reply comes in a few seconds later. 

Harry: Are you free? 

YN: Why? 

Harry: Meet me at Beachwood. Usual time. 

YN: Why should I? 

Harry: Just be there. Please.

YN: I will. 

When you walk down the pavement towards the Beachwood Cafe, its as though you’re doing so without actually thinking about it. When you and Harry were together — this was your place. You can’t even remember the amount of dates the two of you have had here, tucked away in the corner whilst the music played, chatting away endlessly about things that popped into each of your minds. It got to the point that when you two were free, and managed to get to go, you had been that much that the waitresses knew your order by memory. The first time they had done it, you remember the way you both smiled sheepishly at each other and back at the waitress. 

It was decorated for Christmas. You could see a tree in the corner of the cafe, as well as lights and tinsel across the windows. If you weren’t so nervous you probably would have smiled at the sight of it. 

You push the door open and hear the familiar ding of a bell that rings whenever someone walks through, and you’re catapulted back to last year when you did the exact same thing but with a smile on your face from your excitement of seeing your boyfriend, one who you cared and loved very much. 

The low hum of Mud’s Lonely this Christmas fills the room, very apt for the current situation and you’re guessing the mood of the conversation you’re about to have. It was late, close to closing time but you and Harry found that to be the best time to come, because hardly anybody else did. 

He’s already sat at your usual table, the one in the corner because the two of you often liked to people watch. It had started off a silly game once when you were both tired and didn’t really want to talk about your lives, so you started brainstorming what other people’s were like. As much as you hated to admit it, Harry’s stories were always the better of the two of you but you didn’t mind, because you could little to the words he spoke to you for every minute for the rest of your life and you wouldn’t mind. 

He’s already gotten your drinks, you can see the two glasses upon the table in front of him. You pull out the chair, making him look up from his phone at you. You can see his features immediately soften at the sight of you stood there. 

They always used to do that. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” You don’t reply, “I got you a peppermint hot chocolate. I know It’s one of your favourites.” 

It was one of your favourites, and you haven’t been able to have one in a while because, surprise surprise, they remind you of Harry, and the time you used to spend together. 

“Thank you.” You say, picking up the drink and taking a sip of the hot liquid, dropping it back down and looking at him directly in the eyes, “Why did you invite me here?” 

He clears his throat, and the movements of his elbows suggest he’s wiping his hands upon his trousers. 

“I want to apologise. For everything, this time.” He says, and you watch as he places his hands back upon the table, messing with the rings on his hand. He still wore the one you got him for your anniversary a year ago, “For how I acted yesterday, the day we broke up and the months before hand. I was a dick, and there’s no excuse for it, but I just hope that you accept my apology.” 

“I do.” You say, after a couple of seconds of contemplation, knowing that there was no point to having this dragged out for any longer than it already was, “I just want to know why, that’s all I want.” 

“I.” He stops and lets out a shaky breath, “I don’t know, if I’m honest with you. I was just so investing into getting the album finished, and for some reason in my mind I thought that it would be best if I was single to do that.” 

“Why would you think that?” You ask, the tears brimming on your waterline. 

“I don’t know. The second I watched you walk out of the door, and when you didn’t turn around to look again but just drove away, I knew I’d messed up.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You choke back a sob, trying to be quiet to not draw attention to the two of you, “You should’ve stopped me. Explained. I love you Harry, I would have done anything to help you. You needed space, I would’ve given it to you. You needed me, I would’ve been there.” 

He drops his head, “I know.” 

“Then why didn’t you?” You suck in a breath and bite your head to stop anymore sounds from escaping, “You let me leave. You watched me leave. Why didn’t you stop me?” 

“I felt guilty. I’d just broken up with you, love, do you really think that it would’ve been a good idea for me to all of a sudden say I wanted you back?” 

Silent tears stream down your face, “You had months to, Harry. Months. You did nothing.” 

“And it’ll be the biggest regret of my life, YN, I promise you.” He says, and you can tell that he’s trying to stop himself from crying, “It will be. I’ve been a mess without you.” 

You still love Harry, and you know that you do, and you hate seeing him so upset. You believe that’s why you reach forward to take his hand in yours. 

“I have too.” 

Somehow, you and Harry had been booked on the same flight home, and you managed to get seats next to each other. Spending that time next to each other was good, you believed. It gave you the opportunity to properly speak and catch each other up on everything that had happened. Harry had apologised, yet again, for everything that had happened and you had too. You gushed over his album once you had done, and that was when he invited you to the Secret London Show he was holding at the Electric Ballroom. 

That takes you to now, stood in front of your mirror looking over your outfit to make sure that it was presentable enough. You knew you had to look presentable, but it wasn’t as fancy as the Christmas party. You dressed yourself in a long sleeved black lace top, and paired it with some black jean flares and your docs. Simple, yet quite effective in the grand scheme of things.

You were nervous to say the least about what what the evening was going to hold, especially since Gemma and other people who you hadn’t seen since the two of you broke up were going to be there. You weren’t exactly prepared, and if they asked you any questions you’d have no idea about what to say, but once you had brought that up with Harry, he said to just answer with the truth, which you were going to. 

The entire way to the electric ballroom you were nervous, your heart was beating out of you chest and you felt as though you shouldn’t have been going. You thought that up until you arrived, when you walked backstage to see Harry and Gemma stood talking whilst Harry was getting ready. Once he saw you, his features rose into a smile and yours did too, and you walked over to press a kiss to his cheek in greeting. 

“YN!” You could hear the shock in Gemma’s voice as she noticed that it was you and she immediately stood up and wrapped her arms around you, “I haven’t seen you in so long. How are you?” 

“I’m okay, thanks Gem.” You smiled, pulling away and tucking some of your hair behind your ear, “How are you?” 

“I’m amazing.” She says, “I certainly didn’t expect you to be here. Are you two back together? Please tell me that you are.” 

Instead of answering straight away, you turn to look at Harry briefly. You both knew exactly what was running through your brains, and the way you both smiled at each other made that completely obvious. He nodded, and then you knew exactly what to say. 

You grin and turn back to Gemma, “Trying to.” 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you.” She wraps you in another hug, “He was a mess without you, and I know you were a mess without him. You’re soulmates. I can’t believe he even did it in the first place.” 

“I think we all couldn’t.” You laugh.

“Hey!” Harry whines from the chair beside the two of you, “I made a mistake, we all get it.” 

You and Gemma laugh and from then it’s like the past six months hadn’t happened and you were still the best of friends. That was one thing about being with Harry, you loved his family just as much as you loved him. Gemma was like a sister to you, and she was even when you broke up but you just hadn’t seen her. Anne, well she was like a second mother to you. She always made sure to make you feel included at family gatherings, and she even came to stay with you sometimes when Harry went away for a while and you couldn’t go with him. You had missed Harry the most during this time, but Anne and Gemma were two people that you had also missed more than anything. 

The majority of people make their way to where they’re watching the show soon after, but you tell Gemma that you’ll meet her on the balcony later because you wanted to have a quick word with Harry. He was in the middle of shrugging his jacket upon his shoulders when you walked through the door, and he immediately stopped his movements and turned to look at you.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Everything okay?” 

You shrug and bite your lip, stepping for arms a few steps towards him, “Just wanted to see you.” 

You find your eyes flicking up and down his body, taking in the monochrome yellow suit he had on with a black tie. You always loved and supported Harry’s wardrobe choices, and you had missed in the time you hadn’t been with him picking them out with him. You felt as though this was an excellent choice. 

“You look amazing.” He says, taking a few steps forward so that you’re directly in front of each other. You watch as he lifts his hands up, about to place them on your waist but he stops himself and drops his arms back down. Without hesitation you grab his wrists and place them upon your waist. His eyes widen, but the second he feels your skin underneath his hand, just separated by the thin material of your lace top. 

“Thank you.” You bite your lip and wrap your fingers around his tie, lightly picking up the material, “You look so handsome, H.” 

He almost lets out a sob at your words, but he quickly stops himself and smiles at you. Without thinking, you lean forward and press your lips upon his. They feel so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time. You want to cry. You’ve dreamt of this for months, the feeling of having him this closer to you again, and from the way he wraps his arms around your back and pulls you even closer to him, so that your body is fully flushed against his. You pull away with a smile and immediately drop your head to his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist under his jacket and hugging him close to you. You finally feel a tear escape from your eye. 

“I’ve missed you so much, H.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” 

He sings the entire Fine Line album from start to finish, and from how much you’ve listened to the album you actually know the majority of the words. You sing and dance away with Gemma, posting instagram stories of the two of you, and then one of how proud you are of Harry. You don’t need to explain yourself, there certainly isn’t a need to so you do so without any hesitation. You realise you’ve missed watching him perform, the way he can entertain a crowd with his talents has always been something you’d been jealous of. You’ve done shows here and there but because your album isn’t due to be out until the start of next year, when you plan to do your first world tour, and even though you try your hardest, you don’t feel as though you’ll ever be able to work a crowd the way he does. Where Stormzy came from, you still have no idea, since you hadn’t seen him downstairs but all of a sudden he’s singing Vossi Bop with Harry and your watching with your mouth dropped open in shock as he does so. 

You and Harry make the executive decision to go to Harry’s house after the concert. It’s how you both found yourselves sat on Harry’s sofa, a glass of wine in each of your hands. You head is leant against the back of the sofa, whilst Harry’s hand leans upon the back of it, running his fingers through your hair. It’s comforting, and the smile hasn’t left your face since he started to do it. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his hand from your hair to run his finger along your cheekbone, then down until he’s running it across your lips, “I can’t believe I ever pushed you away. You were my girl. I was going to marry you, I needed to marry you, still do.” 

“I’m back now.” You whisper back, lifting your hand to place on his cheek, “And I’m not going anywhere. No matter how hard you try and push me away, I’m not leaving.” 

“I don’t want you too.” He shakes his head, “I’ll never want you too again.” 

Without really thinking, you take the glass out of Harry’s hand and place both of yours upon the table in front of you, listening to the sound as glass meets glass. He leans back on the sofa with a puzzled look, immediately realising what is happening when you move to straddle his hips, placing your hands upon his shoulders to steady yourself. His hands fall upon the small of your back, his hands dragging up and down to tease your skin. 

You lean forward, moving so that your faces are inches apart. You knock his nose slightly with yours, causing his cheeks to curl upwards with a smile before you capture it with your lips.  immediately responds by kissing your back, pushing his body so that it’s placed even closer to yours if it’s physically possible. 

Without a warning you pull away from him, slipping off his lap so that you’re on your knees in front of him. His eyes never leave yours as you so, and he immediately opens his legs so that you can slip in between them, his finger running over his bottom lip as he watches you. 

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“Want to feel you.” You reply, resting your hands upon his thighs, “Want to feel you in my mouth. Can I?” 

“Go ahead, baby.” 

You feel excitement bubbling in the pit of your stomach, and with shaky hands you move to unfasten his belt, and unbutton and unzip his trousers without much struggle. He lifts his hips up so that you can manoeuvre his trousers down and off his legs, leaving him in his black boxers. You bite your lip at the sight of the tent within the flimsy material, already growing and ready for you. You feel slightly overwhelmed that after so long of waiting, and wanting him to be in front of you again, he actually is. 

“Already so hard for me, H.” You say, running your hand over the fuzz upon his bare thighs, “Have you thought about this as much as I have.” 

“I thought about it everyday.” He replies, quickly at that, “It’s etched in my brain, the sight of you on your knees for me.” 

You bite your lip as your grin, leaning to press a kiss to his stomach, just above the happy little trial that slips underneath the hem of his boxers. You feel his stomach tense underneath your lips, especially when you hook your fingers into the hem of his boxers, wiggling the material down until you can completely take it off once he’d lifted his hips again. He’s fully hard for you, and you can feel your stomach doing little flips in excitement for what is going to happen. 

Sex, as it is in most relationships, was a big part of yours and Harry’s. It’s important that couples are comfortable with each other when revealing such intimate parts of themselves, and you and Harry were. If any of of you wanted to try anything, you could do so because of how comfortable you felt with each other. Whenever the other wanted to try anything, you’d do so without any hesitation and in such a way that you both enjoyed it. You both had your kinks, and your shared ones, and over the courser of your relationship you both explored those feelings. You were just happy that even though you had spent such time away from each other, you could still feel that confidence bubbling between the two of you, and those feelings bubbling between each other. Harry made you feel a way no other human being has ever been able to, and you were thankful because you felt as though you’d never be able to find that with anyone else, and now you didn’t have to worry because you were back together. 

“You ready to take me in your mouth baby.” He says, placing his hand upon your cheek, “Ready to take me the way you used to.” 

“Always, baby.” 

Your tongue slips from between your lips and you lick a stripe up his throbbing cock, causing a low groan to escape through Harry’s lips. You can’t help but smile at the sound, knowing that you had caused that. Another groan escapes his lips once you wrap your lips around his tip completely, taking it into your mouth and you can help but giggle slightly. He smiles down at you and pulls your hair up so that it’s off of your face, making a makeshift ponytail to help move you up and down his cock. 

“Look so good with my cock in your mouth.” His tongue slips out of his mouth to wet his lips, “Always could take me so well. Show me, baby, show me how deep you can go.” 

You comply, taking him as deep as you can until you can feel him in the back of your throat. You eyes start to water, and you look up at him through your eyelashes. You hold for as long as possibly can before he lightens his touch and allows you to pull away. A string of saliva connects you two together as you and you wipe your lips with the back of your hand to remove it. 

“Can you do it again?” He asks and you sheepishly nod, flicking your eyes between his throbbing member and him a few times before wrapping your lips back around him, “Fuck, baby, no one can do this like you can. No one.” 

His words spur you on and you deep throat him as far as you possibly can before you need to gasp for air, taking a few seconds before starting to bob your head again, taking a few seconds at each time to run your tongue over his throbbing tip, collecting some of the salty pre-come that had started to bubble there. 

“So good to me.” He lets you stop for a minute, and you place your head upon his thigh so that you can catch you breath. It was almost as though he knew that you needed to take a breather. You had the slight problem of always trying to do more than you’re able too and you almost always end up loosing too much of your breath, “Even though I’m an absolute twat. You’re always so good to me.” 

“You deserve it.” You say, your throat a little coarse from your actions before. 

“I don’t.” He shakes his head, “I broke your heart.” 

You hesitate for a few seconds, “But you’re fixing it.” 

“I shouldn’t have broken it in the first place.” 

You move so that your higher up and able to place a kiss to his lips, whispering against them, “You’re fixing it.” 

He kisses you back with more passion than before, moving his hand to grip under your thighs so that he can pick you up and place your on his. His fingers tug at the hem of your lace shirt, so you detach your lips so that you can pull it over your head. He groans at the sight of your bare chest to him, your nipples hardening into stiff buds at the feeling of the cold air immediately on your skin. 

“No bra?” He presses a few open mouthed kisses to your neck, “You’ve been with me all evening, and I never even fucking noticed that you didn’t have a bra on.” 

“You used to have a special talent for noticing when I didn’t have a bra on.” You giggle, sighing slightly at the feeling of his lips on his neck, and then the subtle feeling of his teeth grazing your skin. 

“I must’ve lost my touch. But don’t worry.” He pulls away and looks you directly in the eye, “I’ll soon get it back.” 

“Of course you will.” You laugh, but he stops it with his lips. The first time you and Harry kissed, you were so nervous. You felt as though you were going to mess up and he’d never want to kiss you again. You were completely wrong, and he actually ended up saying that it was one of the best kisses of you life. You couldn’t believe his words, and since then you completely found yourself wanting his lips to be on yours. Just as they were now, his tongue slipping between your lips and the feeling always transporting the two of you to where it’s just you, and you have the time in the world to kiss as much as you want to. 

He moves his kisses down your neck, leaving sloppy ones against your skin until he was at the curve of your breast. Harry was a boob man, you knew that for a fact. As much as he loved to hold onto your ass every now and then, you always noticed that he spent the majority of his time focusing on your boobs. Whether it be sucking blemishes into the plushly skin whilst you fucked, or laying his head on them as you both calmed down from your activities, he always, without fail, focused on your boobs. 

He knew that if he attacked your nipples skilfully with his tongue, he could have your dampening your panties and clenching your thighs together so much that he couldn’t resist it. He starts by wrapping his lips around your right nipple, tugging on the flesh slightly with his lips before letting it go with a pop. 

“Fucking love your tits, love.” He sighs and you giggles slightly before gasping at the feeling of his pinching your other nipple with his fingers, “Fit in my hands, and in my mouth, so nicely.” 

You moan in response to his words and throw your head back as he wraps his lips around your other one, sucking and sending flutters all the way down to your core. You wanted him, yearned for him, and you were beginning to grown inpatient. 

“Can we go to your bedroom?” You run your fingers through his hair and pull his head back so that he’s looking at you, “Bedroom.” 

“Is that where you want it?” 

“Want it in your bed.” You say, placing your hand upon his cheek, “Our bed.” 

He stands up with you still on him, your legs wrapped around him as he carries your upstairs. You rest your head upon his shoulder so he can look over yours and direct you safely to the comforts of his bedroom. 

This place didn’t hold the best of memories from the last few months of your relationship but if you ignored that and focused on the positives, you had some of your best times in this room. It was a place where the two of you could completely be yourselves, and have a place to call yours. The pillow talk that occurred in this room was out of this world, and it was where you planned your future. One that was put on hold briefly but now seemed to be ready for the two of you again. 

“Will you strip for me?” He asks as he places your down in the room, “I want to watch you slip out of those jeans, baby.” 

You nod but at first undress him. You slip the jacket from his shoulders, skilfully loosen his tie and pull it over his head. Next is his shirt which you start to unbutton, but Harry grows impatient and rips it off, the buttons flying in all sorts of directions. 

“Harry!” 

“Oops?” He laughs, sitting down on the bed. 

You had given Harry one strip tease before, for his birthday a year ago and it had gone down a treat. You had dressed up in your fanciest lingerie, which happened to be a black set that he had bought specifically for you for your birthday with ‘Styles’ embroidered on the inside. There was something, for the both of you, that you loved about seeing his name all over your the undergarments you wore. Whenever you wore them out in public, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other, as though you were hiding a naughty secret that you didn’t want anyone to know about. 

“Are you going to?” He urged, not taking his eyes off you’re, “I’m waiting.” 

“Might make you wait a little longer.” You smile, running your fingers along the hem of your jeans, “Seeing as though you left me waiting for how long?” 

“Don’t tease.” 

“Why?” You shrug, “That was your speciality, wasn’t it?” 

He had a love for teasing you, always had done. From the first time the two of you had sex, you knew he liked to tease. He liked to tease you all over, having your body withering under his touch until you couldn’t help but beg for him to touch you. You had a slight suspicion that he enjoyed hearing you beg for him, whimpering under his touch until you were crying for him to touch you. You remember that once, he had been teasing you all day whilst you had been out and about, but once you had gotten home he was teasing you so badly, overstimulating you over and over until you were crying for him to make your come. 

“Just strip, my love.” You laugh and his words and unfasten the button to your jeans, turning around so that your ass is facing him, pulling your jeans down to reveal your black lace panties to him. You’re not surprised when he smacks his hand to the flesh of your ass, causing you to turn around with a gasp.

“That wasn’t nice.” You move so that you’re straddling him again. 

“When have I ever been nice?” He raises his eyebrows, “I don’t think you want me to start now.” 

He leans forward and places his lips to yours again, his body falling back upon the bed so that you’re hovering above him. His fingers run down from the small of his back, to her ass again until he’s gripping the flesh between his fingers, quite harshly you must say so which goes straight to your core. You know that the front of your panties are ruined by your wetness, and you know for certain that Harry does also. 

“Sit on my face.” He mumbles against your lips.

“What?” You whisper back.

“Sit on my face.” He places a kiss to your jaw, “Wanna eat that pretty cunt, want to have you trembling above me.” 

You would squeeze your thighs together, but you can’t because of his body between yours. You nod your head and clamber off him, pulling your underwear down your legs quickly. You move up the bed until you’re next to his head, spreading your legs and placing your knees on either side of his head. His hands grip your thighs, dancing his fingers along your thighs. 

“Please, H.” You say, pushing his hair off of his forehead as you look down at him.

“Didn’t think you’d be begging so soon, baby.” He chuckles, pressing a few kisses upon your cheeks. 

“I’m doing no such thing.” You shake your head, “You’re just being slow.” 

He certainly isn’t being slow when he leans his head forward and starts to attack your clit with his tongue. You have to quickly lean forward also and grab the headboard to steady yourself, a moan escaping your lips as he does so. He attacks your clit quickly, and you can’t help but grind your hips forward at the feeling. He curls his hands around your thighs, stopping you from moving anymore. You cry out as he doesn’t slow down, and you pull his hair slightly. It emits a moan from him which vibrates against your clit, creeping your closer and closer to your peak.

It becomes a cycle. As you pull on his hair, more moans and groans tumble from his lips again sty your clit. He knew the more that he focused upon your clit, the closer you’d find yourself to your orgasm. He had learnt this, and he certainly hadn’t forgotten it. 

You bite your bottom lip and close your eyes, rocking your hips back and forth against his tongue. He knows your close, due to your thighs clamping around his head. He doesn’t slow down, but instead he flicks his tongue even quicker. 

“Fucking hell.” You moan, your body starting to shake as you feel your orgasm wash over you. He continues to attack your clit, coaxing you through your orgasm until you’ve finished and catching your breath. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He says, dancing his fingers upon your thigh, “Missed your taste.” 

“Fuck me, H.” You say, breathlessly.

He doesn’t hesitate. You manoeuvre yourself off of his head and lay so that you’re head is rested upon his pillow. He leans to open his bedside drawer but you stop him, grabbing his arm and pulling his back to you.

“Did you sleep with anyone else?” You ask, knowing that this could make or break whether you were going to be fucked or not at this moment.

“No.” He says, immediately shaking his head, “I didn’t. Did you?” 

You also shake your head, “I wanna feel you, H. Want you to come in me.” 

He groans without even touching you yet, or you touching him. He immediately drops his lips to yours, and you can’t help but giggle and smile into the kiss. You wrap your arms around his back and pull him closer to you. He pulls away slightly, just to grip his cock, running his thumb over his tip a few times. 

“Are you sure?” He says and you nod, threading your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Please, H.” You nod, hips bucking towards his, “I need you.” 

“Need you too.” He kisses you again, “Always need you.” 

He leans forward, looking down between the two of you to line his cock up with your entrance. He runs the tip over your clit for a second before pushing into you. Your walls immediately envelope him, tightening around him with every inch that he moves in. You sigh against his lips, wrapping your arms around his back. He starts to move in and out of you, your walls clenching around him as he tries to find his rhythm. 

“Fuck.” You can’t help but moan that into his ear. 

“Taking me so well.” You drop your hands to rest on your pillows next to him, to which he takes your hand in his as he starts to quicken his pace, “Missed your pussy so much. Never leaving again.” 

Instead of replying, you place your lips upon his again. From the way his eyes are screwed closed, you can tell that he’s close. If it’s possible, he starts to thrust his hips harder towards you, hitting a point so deep into you that causes a whine to fall from your mouth. 

“You’re gonna come, aren’t you?” He says against your neck, moving in and out until your thighs are shaking beneath him, “Can feel you, fuck, can feel you clenching around me. Milking my cock, aren’t you?” 

You hum, “Feel so good, H. I’m so close.” 

When you do come, you see stars. You clench around him, and profanities escape your lips. The feeling is completely how you remember it. You hadn’t been completely celibate since breaking up with Harry, since you do own a little bullet vibrator that had been your friend. You had it for years before you met Harry, and you used it whenever he was away or if the two of you fancied spicing it up every now and then.

You come down from your high just as Harry is catapulted into his, coating your walls with his as does so. His body collapses on top of yours, his head rested at the side of yours. He’s still inside of you, and both of your chests are rising up at down at a quick pace. 

“Fucking hell.” He laughs, and you turn your head to look at him. He has a grin upon his face and you lean forward to kiss his dimple, “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” 

“I know.” You smiled, “You’ve told me multiple times. I’ve missed you to.” 

He finally pulls out, and you immediately felt empty. You whined slightly and he moved off of you, dropping down upon the bed next to you. You take this as the opportunity to slip from your bed. Due to not having sex in a long time, you flip your legs over the edge of the bed and prepare yourself for having to take a few steps. Taking a deep breath, you stand up and waddle your way towards Harry’s bathroom, scooping up Harry’s shirt on the way. 

You know the way like the back of your hand, and it’s oddly comforting to you. Once you’re in the bathroom, you clean yourself and do your business. Once you’re satisfied, you shrug Harry’s shirt on and do up a few buttons so that you’re covering at least a bit of yourself as you do so. 

Harry’s underneath the covers as you return to his room, smiling at you with dimples and all as you walk back through the door. He’s on his side of the bed, and you clamber into yours. The feeling of having someone in bed next to you makes you happy inside. You lay upon your side, with one of your hands beneath you head and Harry copies your movement. Your faces are close, and he leans forward to place a kiss to your nose. 

You smile, “Hi.” 

“Hi, love.” 

“Are you okay?” You ask and he nods, “Do you think we’ve rushed this?” 

“No.” He’s quick to say, “I don’t think we have. We needed this. I’ve never felt closer to someone as I do to you right now.” 

“Me neither.” You smile, moving to grab his hand that was rested upon his side, “And I don’t think I will again.” 

“Darling.” Harry says, pointing his finger in the air as he does so. 

Chloe hesitates for a second before letting out a, “Ding!” to say that he was right. 

It was Boxing Day, and after spending Christmas Eve and the majority of Christmas Day with your family, you had driven from your family house up to Cheshire to spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with Harry’s family. You were all sat in the living room playing a game, sporting glasses of wine and basking in the Christmassy feeling of being together again. 

After Harry’s show on the nineteenth, and the acts that happened afterwards, you and Harry had many conversations. There was a few tears from the two of you, and the conversation got heated in some aspects but you were together again, and that was the main thing. Originally, you had decided to spend Christmas separate, without each other’s company just because it was such a sudden change and you wanted to make sure that you fully weren’t rushing into things. Then, whilst sat on the sofa after devouring your Christmas dinner, with Mud’s Lonely this Christmas playing through your speakers that you realised that you missed Harry, and a Christmas without seeing him now was a Christmas that you didn’t want in your life. 

You had contemplated surprising him and just turning up, but you felt as though that wasn’t fair on the rest of his family, and that’s why you messaged and asked him. He replied asking whether you were certain that you wanted to do this, and you said yes and he said that he’d have a cup of tea ready for you whenever you arrived. 

He did have one ready for you, and it was everything you needed to warm yourself up after the long journey. 

Anne, Gemma and Michal asked no questions to you, but you had no doubt that they had asked Harry some on your journey. Anne had welcomed you with a hug, and so did Gemma and once their prying eyes were away, Harry kissed you as though his life depended on it, pressed against the staircase of his mother’s house whilst fairy lights twinkled around them. 

Anne’s next to go, hoping that her answer of, “Sweetheart,” was at the top of the list. 

Chloe replies with, “Uh huh,” to which everyone “Ooo’s” in response at.

You’re rested upon the back of the sofa, with a flute of Champagne in your hand. Harry, in his flat-cap almost breaking your hear with how handsome he looked, turned around and pointed his finger at you. 

“Come on, now.” He says, “Be smart with this. It’s sticky stuff.” 

“Babe.” You immediately reply, knowing that was one of pet names that Harry called you the most.

People around the room laugh at Harry’s phrase of ‘sticky-stuff’ but that doesn’t mask Chloe’s exclamation of, “Ding!” followed by, “Top answer.” 

You smile at the knowledge and Harry turns to you also, holding his fist up for you to fist bump which you both laugh at. He holds his hand out and you pass him your drink, which he takes a sip of quickly before returning it to you so you can carry on playing the game. 

Michal is next, and for some bizarre reason to all of you he says, “Cutie-pie,” which certainly isn’t on the list. The room chuckles around you, and Harry says something about him “returning to the mines’’ which you all laugh at, but you specifically roll your eyes at. 

The game soon wraps up, and you have your meal. Harry sits next to you, and had his hand upon your thigh the entire way through. The table around the two of you chatted about all sorts, many of the questions being about when your music was coming out which you certainly didn’t expect. You started to feel as though your album, when it came out, wouldn’t be very complimentary of your relationship with Harry, and you were starting to regret it slightly, but you loved all of your songs and you hoped that when you showed Harry, and the world for that matter, that they would too.  

You and Harry, after the meal had finished, had offered to be on washing up duty. You had been given the task of washing up, whilst Harry dried because he felt as though his skills were better there. You let him believe that and carry on with drying all of the special Christmas cutlery that didn’t go in the dish-washer. 

Once you had finished, and you were drying your hand upon the towel, you felt hands upon your waist, more specifically, Harry’s. He place a kiss to your neck and you giggled, turning around so that upon were facing him. He immediately captures your lips with his, and you wrap your arms around your neck to steady yourself from the attack of his lips. His hands immediately again go to your waist, slipping his hand underneath the material of your jumper to rest upon your skin. Once you pull away, you look at him with a smile upon your face. 

“What was that for?” 

“What?” He shrugs, “Can’t I kiss my girlfriend?” 

“Girlfriend?” You ask, unable to hide your smile.

“Girlfriend.” He nods, “That’s what you are, aren’t you?” 

You nod your head and place another kiss to his lips, the feeling running through the two of you without really knowing how significant he really was. 

“If you want me to be. I want to be.” 

He lifts one of his hands and places it upon your cheek, running his thumb ever so delicately along your skin.

“I love you.” He says, with no hesitation in his voice, “I know I’ve been shitty, and I probably shouldn’t be saying this to you, especially not in the way that I am, but I do love you and I never stopped. I swear to you, that from now on my love for you will be the most important thing, and I won’t ever, ever make you second best again.” 

“That’s all I want.” You reply, leaning forward to place a kiss upon his lips, “I love you too.” 

With the year that you had, and the feeling as though you’d never be with this man again, you couldn’t believe that here you were with him. He was with you, and he was yours and there was no doubt in your mind that what happened earlier this year will never happen again. It was almost as though this was something that your relationship needed to grow stronger in itself, and it surely was now.

He wraps an arm around your neck and pulls you onto his chest, “I’m never letting you go again. I probably won’t let you out of my sight again.” 

“I can’t say that I’d ever complain.” 

[genshin-impact-imagines]

✨Love letters✨

Featuring: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Xiao, Childe & Beiodu for Valentines Day

Diluc

My love,

I hope you’ve drank water today, and have eaten full meals. If not, I’ll bring you food later when I see you, and make sure you’re hydrated.

You know how I’m awful at expressing my feelings towards you, I struggle sometimes to show you the love you deserve.

But, I love you very, very much.

I’m sorry for not always showing my love for you, I can promise you that I’m the one to blame for that, not you.

Thank you for being by my side, even during the darkest days. I appreciate everything you do for me, and I’m so glad you are with me.

Everyday I wake up excited to see you. Your laughter, your smile, your silly jokes and affection make me feel like the luckiest man alive.

I promise you, when I see you later today we’re going to cuddle all night. I won’t let you go.

I’ll say it again, I love you very, very much.

-Your Diluc.

Kaeya

Sweetheart,

How’s my favourite person in the world doing?

I know you’re not expecting me to write this letter for you, but I have to apologise for not being there for you recently.

I’m sorry for being so busy all the time, I promise you I’ll make it up to you.

I love you a lot, sweetheart.

I miss you always, I’m always thinking about that cute smile of yours.

I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again, to hear that beautiful laughter of yours.

I left my favourite shirt for you to wear, you should find it in your wardrobe. I know how much you love wearing it, and I love seeing you in it.

I promise to come see you tonight.

I love you so, so much,

-Your Kaeya.

Zhongli

My Dearest,

I hope you are doing well today, I thought I would send you a letter to ‘add a bit of ‘spice’ as you always say.

I’ll keep this short, as I want to say and do more in person,

I love you so much.

Thank you so much for being here with me, my dearest.

I always cherish the moments we have together, your cute jokes, your laughter and just your presence alone makes me so happy.

I cannot wait to see what our future would be like together.

Once again, I love you so much,

-Your Zhongli.

Xiao

Pumpkin,

I love you.

I’m bad at doing this, so forgive me if this is badly written.

I just wanted to send a letter to write how much I truly appreciate you.

You have made my life so much better by being here by my side.

I was so, so lonely. I never had anyone else in my life, besides myself. Then you came along and changed all of that for me. In a good way, of course.

I cannot tell you just how much I appreciate you.

I apologise that I’m not always the most gentle person, I don’t mean to sound harsh sometimes. I never want to hurt you, I’m scared that if I do you’ll leave. And I don’t want you to leave me.

I still remember the first time you told me that you love me. I felt like crying, that’s why I just hugged you instead of saying it back.

It’s my most treasured memory.

Pumpkin, I’m trying for you. I truly cannot express how much I’m grateful for you.

I just hope that you know, I really do love you so much.

Thank you for everything, my pumpkin.

I can’t wait to see you later.

-Your Xiao.

Childe/Tartaglia

Sweets,

My beautiful, sweet lover, who I love very much, I hope you don’t miss me too much.

I’m joking, I miss you so much! I’d do anything to see you right now.

I randomly remembered my favourite memory of you earlier. It’s the one where I surprised you with a picnic date, we traveled to a beautiful area, ate and cuddled all evening.

We’re going to do that again, I promise you.

Nothing is more important to me than you are.

Thank you for dealing with me everyday, I know I can be overbearing sometimes, but I just get so excited to see you!

I can’t wait to see you later, I’m counting down the minutes until we meet again.

I love you so much!

-Your Tartaglia.

Beidou

Peaches,

I’m sorry for leaving you so early this morning, I wish I could’ve held you more.

I wanted to write you this letter, just to tell you how much I love you.

I know I don’t tell this to you everyday, but when you’re sleeping I always whisper just now much I appreciate you being here for me.

I know I can be tough to deal with at times, but thank you for always dealing with me.

Just know I would do anything just to see you smile, laugh and look at me with those big lovable eyes of yours.

I love you so much, peaches.Everyday I look forward to your silly jokes, despite me acting like I don’t love them.

Peaches, no matter how hard life might be, I’ll always be by your side, no matter what.

I can never say this enough,

But I love you.

-Your Beidou.

My sfw requests are open!

Taglist: @senkuwu-chan

[alj4890]

I have an ask? What if Liam got Riley pregnant when they first met in New York? Would he still have to go through the social season? Would she have to raise a baby on her own would Liam find a way to help?

Ooooohhhh. Interesting. That would be quite the conundrum for them, wouldn't it? Especially since the social season starts the very next day after he visited her bar. Hmmm. Let's see what I can do with that time frame. I'm going on the assumption that the social season lasts at least three months with all the parties and traveling they do. Which will help out with the pregnancy part 😉 I think she would still go and take part in the social season since she wouldn’t know she was pregnant yet, but it would definitely alter how things end in book 1.

Masterlist

@gkittylove99 @darley1101 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @twinkleallnight @amandablink @neotericthemis  @mm2305

Aftereffects

Three months earlier...

"Well?" Riley tilted her head to study Liam's profile. "What do you think?"

He cleared his throat. Lips parted, yet no words were formed. Liam had so many emotions hitting him all at once that a mere stranger had made his one wish come true.

His eyes went from the Statue of Liberty to the woman responsible for him being able to see it.

"I'm speechless." He lowered his head, lips curving in a shy smile. "I've never been so moved in my life than I am in this moment with you."

She smiled and turned her attention toward the iconic monument. "She's really something, isn't she?"

He turned toward Riley. His eyes traveled down her beautiful face softly lit by the dull light coming from the ferry they were on and the sliver of moonlight from above.

"Yes," he moved closer to her. "She really is."

Riley looked up at him. Her heart raced at the tender longing she saw in his eyes. He seemed so lonely. So in need of encouragement. So in need of affection.

Before he could step away, she snagged his lips in a tender kiss.

He froze for two seconds before crushing her to him. He allowed all the feelings he kept to himself pour out as a fuel to draw moans from her. The desperation he had been feeling since his brother abdicated didn't seem to exist around this woman.

His kisses traveled down her neck.

"Liam." She sighed when he returned to her mouth.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed her back against the railing.

"I don't want this night to end." He murmured.

It took a physical effort to stop.

"Neither do I." She cupped his cheek. "I know you leave tomorrow."

He nodded, already feeling the heavy yoke that was about to be thrust upon his shoulders.

"It's not quite tomorrow though." She kissed along his jaw as she whispered. "We can still enjoy the rest of tonight."

"Riley, I--you know I must choose--I couldn't do that and simply leave you to search for a bride." He felt guilty just thinking about it.

He would be the worst sort of cad possible if he were to spend the night in her arms.

He shouldn't have pursued her. The moment she had turned around and greeted him in the bar, he had thought of nothing else except getting to know more about her.

"I want you." She whispered. "If tonight is all we have, then let's make the most of it."

"You have no idea how much I want you." He kissed her once more, completely unable to resist her.

******************

Two and a half months later...

Maxwell winced when he heard the noises coming from Riley's bathroom. Bracing himself, he timidly knocked upon the door.

"You okay in there, blossom?"

"What--" she heaved into the toilet, "do you think?"

"Maxwell!" Bertrand snapped. "What is the hold up. She should have been downstairs fifteen minutes ago."

His eyes widened at the sounds of vomiting.

"Is she ill?" He whispered.

Maxwell shrugged.

"She seemed fine last night." Bertrand thought over the past few days.

"She has been more tired than usual." Maxwell narrowed his eyes in concern. "And this isn't the first time I've heard her throwing up."

Bertrand's stern demeanor turned to worry. "You don't think she's..."

"Think she's what?" Maxwell asked.

"We have been pressuring her to wear the right clothes. I hope we haven't caused her to think she needs to lose weight." Bertrand explained.

Maxwell's eyes widened. He would never be able to forgive himself if he had made Riley think less of her natural beauty.

"Riley!" He anxiously knocked again when they heard nothing but silence. "Can we come in?"

"Sure." Her weak response was followed by her unlocking the door.

The brothers walked inside and saw her sitting in the floor.

Maxwell wet a rag and crouched beside her. He gently cleaned the sweat off her brow, his worry was now off the charts at the half hearted smile she gave him.

"Thanks." She lifted her eyes to Bertrand. "I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to be outside for the--"

"Don't concern yourself with that." He tempered his usual gruff tone. "We must take care of you first."

Tears filled her eyes at how kind he was being. He wasn't berating her or telling her that House Beaumont needed her to win Liam. She wondered where this Bertrand had been hiding. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks as the brothers discussed ways to help her feel better.

He ordered Maxwell to pick her up and carry her to her bed.

As she settled back against her pillows, he called down to the kitchen and ordered a tray of soup, crackers, and tea to be brought up.

By the time he was finished, she was crying in full force.

"Riley!" Maxwell sat down on her bed and tried to hug her. "Please tell us what's wrong."

Bertrand reached for her hand. "You do know how lovely you are, right?"

Her eyes widened at that odd question.

"We think you shouldn't change at all." Maxwell added.

"Indeed. Many of the dresses in the boutique are," Bertrand's frown firmed as he tried to think of a way to keep her from thinking her body was at fault, "they aren't properly made. One can never go by sizes there."

"And you're size is perfect. Liam can't keep his eyes off you." Maxwell added. "In fact, you could probably add on some weight and be even more beautiful."

"Indeed." Bertrand latched on to that. "Size does not matter. It is what is on the inside that counts."

Riley lifted her head. "What are you talking about?"

"You're," Maxwell mimed vomiting.

"You must stop." Bertrand added. "You do not need to lose weight."

"I'm not doing it on purpose." She shook her head.

It touched her heart though that they wouldn't want her developing an eating disorder.

"I don't know what's caused this." She explained. "The weirdest smells and motions seem to set it off. Like yesterday, the smell of tomatoes had me running for a bathroom and I've always loved tomatoes."

"Could it possibly be your nerves?" Bertrand sat down at the foot of the bed. "The social season can take a toll on even the most seasoned noble."

"I don't think so." Riley mumbled. "It's like my energy has suddenly been depleted. Of course that could be because of the vomiting."

"So what caused it to start?" Maxwell asked.

"How long has it been going on?" Bertrand added.

"I don't know what set it off. It's been going on for a couple of weeks, but it is getting worse."

"Hmm." Bertrand and Maxwell shared a glance.

"Riley, I hope you don't think badly of me for asking," Bertrand struggled to inquire into something so personal. "But, have you, er...did you..."

She lifted her eyebrows in silent question.

"Before you joined us, were you involved with anyone?" He closed his eyes in embarrassment.

"Involved?"

"Any previous boyfriends or hookups before Liam?" Maxwell clarified.

"Oh!" Her cheeks heated with color. "No. I actually haven't been in a relationship for almost a year now." She lowered her eyes. "I had a bad relationship with a guy and decided to focus on myself once I got out of it."

Bertrand relaxed some. "A wise decision."

"So no one night stands?" Maxwell prodded.

"I've never been that type of..." Her eyes widened. She had been that type for one incredible night.

It was the driving force in making her decision to come to Cordonia in the first place.

"Oh no." She breathed. "The night I met you," her eyes held Maxwell's shocked gaze, "Liam and I sneaked away and..."

Bertrand shot up off the bed. "Wait here."

*****************

"We must be certain." Bertrand stressed. "The bloodwork must confirm what the test showed." His frown was fierce as he stood before the physician. "Discretion is a must in this situation."

"I'll have the results by this evening." The doctor replied. "And only I will run the lab work for Ms. Brooks."

"Here's my number." Riley scribbled it out quickly. "If I don't answer, please send a text and voicemail."

Once he was gone, she sagged back on the bed.

"What do we do now?" Maxwell asked.

"We have a ball to prepare for." Bertrand held up a silk dress. "We missed today's events, but we must make an appearance tonight. Everyone will begin to talk if we don't."

Riley nodded. Her mind though was whirling with the knowledge that she was pregnant.

How will Liam react? Will he be upset? Will he hate me for allowing it to happen? Will he think I'm trying to trap him?

How do I tell him?

Taking the dress, she forced herself to get ready.

***************

"Have you seen Riley any today?"

Drake shook his head. "No. Why?"

"That's strange." Liam folded his arms.

He wondered if something was wrong. He hated that he couldn't spend every single moment with her. What if she had reached the end of her patience with this suitor situation?

He shook his head when Drake offered him a drink.

"You've got it bad." Drake teased.

"Got what?"

"Love."

"I do?"

"Are you saying you aren't in love with Brooks?" Drake smirked. "I've seen you with her. Ever since she showed up at the masquerade ball, you haven't looked at any of the other ladies trying to win you."

Liam couldn't help but smile over that. It was true. His night with Riley in New York had been the most magical of his life. Each moment he had spent with her since then all but reaffirmed that she was the only one for him.

He was thrilled at how the people of Cordonia had fallen for her. The press had only positive things to say about The American that had come to win his hand.

He could picture her smile when she approached him at the masquerade ball.

"I think we both know we have something special. One night together will never be enough for me." Riley whispered as he kissed her hand.

"I agree." He held her hand a moment longer than was deemed appropriate. "It isn't enough." His bright blue eyes shined against the silver demi mask. "Are you certain I'm worth going through these next few months? What if--"

"We end up with our happily ever after?" She finished for him.

He knew he had completely lost his heart in that moment. Our happily ever after. Her optimism that they could have that helped him through every step of this social season. She was the prize he knew he could claim once he passed the final hurdle to be king.

He spent his time in dull conversations daydreaming about their future. How beautiful she would be as a bride. How comforting she would be as they dealt with his father's illness and troubles of their small nation.

Then he dreamed of the family they would have. He hoped they had many children, each with her infectious smile and kindness.

He hoped she would say yes when he asked her to marry him. Even if they never had all these other dreams of the future, he would at least have her and her love.

Then all of this would be well worth it.

He did worry about his father's reaction to the time he spent in her company. Whenever Liam attempted to discuss his feelings about Riley, Constantine would point out another lady of the court. He wouldn't allow his son to go ahead and make a decision.

"You better head downstairs." Drake finished off his drink. "Can't have a ball around here without the prince."

****************

"Any word yet?" Bertrand whispered.

Riley shook her head.

He softly cursed, causing her to burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry." She giggled when he shushed her. "But I would have bet a lot of money that you would never say that word."

He rolled his eyes. "Be that as it may, you should go mingle."

****************

"Lady Riley?" Liam gently tapped her shoulder. "May I have this dance?"

She turned around with a start. "I'd love to."

He took her hand and placed it within the bend of his arm. "You look beautiful tonight."

She gently squeezed his arm. "Thank you." Her eyes lifted to his. "And you're as handsome as always."

"I don't know about that." He winked at her. "But as long as you think so, then I'm content."

He took her in his arms as a waltz began.

"Let's not spin as much as we normally do." She pleaded when he twirled her.

His brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?"

"No!" She said quickly. "Just, um, a little motion sickness from time to time."

"I see." He kept his gaze upon her face. "I missed you today."

"You did?"

"I always do whenever you're not around." He admitted with a sheepish grin.

"That's so--" she felt the vibration of her phone.

She stopped dancing, causing Liam to nearly trip

"Riley, is something--"

"Excuse me, I have to--that is--this is from--" she ducked out a nearby door before all her revelations came tumbling out.

***************

She plopped down on the edge of a small couch and read the message from the doctor.

Hitting the link, she read the results of her bloodwork.

Her breaths came in and out in short gasps.

I'm really pregnant.

"Riley?"

All the color drained from her face as she looked up at Liam.

He shut the door to the ballroom and knelt before her.

"What is it?" He took her icy hand in his. "Is something wrong?"

She licked her dry lips and tried to tell him.

"Yes. No. I'm not sure."

He pressed a kiss to her hand. "Whatever it is, I will do all that I can to help you."

She blinked back tears. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." He laced his fingers with hers.

"Do you," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "do you love me?"

"I do." He admitted. "I had planned on telling you during the Coronation Ball."

"Really?" Her eyes narrowed. "I need you to be completely honest with me right now."

"I am." He lowered his gaze to their clasped hands. His thumb brushed against her skin. "I know I'm not supposed to say anything until then, but you are the one I will pick to marry," he looked up at her, "if you want to."

She bit down on her bottom lip. "Do you want children?"

"Yes, and not just for the continuation of the Rhys holding the crown." His smile gentled. "I want a family with you, selfishly for myself. I want all the holiday memories spent with them, watching them see the world with wonder, and seeing our traits passed on, especially yours." He chuckled. "Heaven help me if we have a daughter like you. I will be completely wrapped around her little finger."

Riley couldn't believe she was hearing all she needed to from him.

He really is Prince Charming. My Prince Charming.

"Do you remember the night we met?" She asked.

"How could I forget?"

She grimaced at the worry that still gnawed at her mind.

"My love," Liam sat down beside her. "Please tell me what troubles you."

"I had not been with anyone in a long time." She began. "I mean, no one for months when we spent the night together."

Liam merely listened, wondering where she was going with this.

"I didn't think in the heat of the moment. I should have. It was irresponsible, but I was so swept off my feet..." She took a deep breath. "And I found out today that I'm pregnant."

His fingers tightened around hers.

"I'm sorry. I know with the--"

"Pregnant?" Liam interrupted her. "You're certain?"

"The doctor just sent me the results of my blood work. That with the test I took and the physical exam confirms it." Her eyes widened when he suddenly stood up and took her into his arms.

The kiss he gave her weakened her knees. His arms held her as if she was the most delicate piece of porcelain.

"Marry me." He said between kisses.

"That kinda was the whole point of me coming here." She teased, once she saw how happy he was.

He smiled against her lips. "Is that a yes?"

"It is."

He stepped back and took hold of her hand. With quick strides he had them back in the ballroom.

Waving the conductor to stop the music, he held his hand up. "May I have your attention please!"

The court stilled as all eyes turned toward him.

Ignoring the hushed questions coming from his father, he settled his arm around Riley's waist.

"Lady Riley has made me the happiest man this evening. She has accepted my proposal of marriage and has told me that within a few months or so," he turned his adoring gaze upon her, "we will have an heir to the throne."

Constantine staggered back at this announcement. He had no idea the couple had become that close.

Regina called for champagne to be brought to all the guests as she embraced the young couple.

Liam held his glass up. He decided to force his parent to officially accept Riley in front of the entire court. He suspected that if he had not announced the fact they were expecting, that Constantine would find a way to break their engagement. He didn't know why he felt such unease with his father when it concerned Riley, but he wasn't going to leave anything to chance when it concerned her.

"Father? Would you like to give the toast?"

Constantine cleared his throat. Seeing no way around it, he stepped forward and lifted his glass. He hoped for Liam's sake that this woman would not be detrimental to his rule.

"To my son and the lady he has chosen. May they have all the happiness that I have found with my own queen and may their new family continue to serve Cordonia with grace and honor." He turned toward them. "To Liam and Riley!"