#i feel weird with that critique cause like i don't want to pull a it's up to marcy to socialize *normally*

[writesailingdreams]

realizing there's nothing in Marcy's story that sucker punches me to tears; there's nothing quite in Sasha's either, but her relationship with Grime gets a genuine sentimental sniffle

Marcy is a lot of "wow this girl should feel way more relatable, but doesn't; why??" + "please give this child a break"; it's a lot of sympathy but ultimately I think Marcy had to learn a lesson as much as the other two girls

[zuccinniii]

I smile EVILY as I write unnecessary human AU OUAW Torbek angst 😈

(Wip :3)

Torbeck slid down, and into the tub, the cool tile of it pressing against him.

It very obviously wasn't meant for someone of his stature. But, he sat down anyways– limbs uncomfortably pressed against one another to fit properly.

He was silent, looking around the tub curiously. Torbek hadn't done this before, the whole bath thing. He doesn't really ever remember doing any of the “hygenic necessities” Frost rambled to him about, his face grimacing at Torbek’s stench.

Torbek had only recently started brushing his teeth, and flossing. That took a lot out of him, having to remember to get all of his pointed and chipped teeth. And for some reason his tongue? They tried to get him to use this weird u-shaped blade to scrape it– but he quickly shot that down.

He was brought back to the present by the cool air of the ventilation system, causing a shiver to run down his spine. He swallowed nervously, hoping the others had just left by now.

Kremy couldn't just keep spraying mass amounts of perfume and cologne to cover his putrid smell anymore. It really only ended up mixing the two, making it even more awful to breathe around him than normal. So, they had told Torbek to take a bath.

Or, more so, forced him.

“Torbek? You good in there, bud? We haven' even ‘eard the water start yet.`` A voice barked at him from behind the wooden door. It was Gricko, his accent easily detected through his speech.

”We know you don't like baths- but you reek!” A squeaky voice also called out, that one was Twig. It is fairly easy to recognize the pitchy voice.

Torbek whined, he wanted to. He wanted to make the smell go away– his friends finally being able to withstand being near him.

But he didn't know how, he didn't know what these strange bottles were. He didn't know which one to use to make his hair as soft as Grikos, or to make him smell like the peppermint Twig wafted in the air whenever she walked past him.

“..Torbek, you do know how to bathe yourself, right?”

His silence spoke volumes.

With a sigh, someone walked in. Torbeks head shot up.

It was Frost.

“Hello, Torbek.“ The man spoke monotonously, walking up to him. His nose scrunched, but he continued to walk forward. He crouched down next to the tub, eyes analyzing him.

It felt like he was being judged, like any moment Frost would sneer at him– and call him disgusting, and a fucking idiot–

He felt his face heat up, tears beginning to build because God, he didn't know how to do a basic task everyone did, because he's a screw up–

“Only good for a lab rat…” A voice purred in his ear before he felt a pinch, and he heard the growling voice in his head– screeching to hurt, and destory–

“-Torbek?” A voice interrupted his thoughts, and he felt the delicate hands of Frost's pulling at his wrists– and,

oh.

He had begun to tug at his hair.

Frost gently guided his hand back to his side.

“Did you hear what I said?” He spoke calmly, eyes softening.

“Nooo” Torbek confessed, gaze moving down to his knees, “Torbek wasn't liiisstenning, he's soorryy..” He whined, desperately blinking back tears.

“It's alright Torbek, it's okay, just breathe.” Frost hushed– almost motherly towards him. His voice wasn't monotone, like usual, and held an emotion he hadn't heard from anyone during his entire lifetime.

Empathy.

And so, Torbek listened. He breathed in and out, feeling his breathing return to its normal ragid-nes.

That's as far as I got B4 I gave up, might finish– but i mainly wanted critiques since i haven't rlly written fanfics b4

[nonbinaryeggrolls]

Battle of the Larynx II

Miguel O’Hara x afab!reader

Pt. 1, Pt. 2. Pt. 3, Pt. 4

Synopsis: Having Spider-Man as a boyfriend was becoming increasingly more difficult, and his reoccurring absence is tearing you apart

Warning: ANGST, mentions of breakups, self harm (not eating caused by depression)

MINORS DNI. AGELESS AND MINOR BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

And they talk without thinking

They bark while they're shaking

With teeth that are round and dull

And they yell while they're chasing

While I'm steady pacing

My syllables hit the floor

How stupid, selfish baby

Don't you battle with my larynx toni—

Macie: “Melanie Martinez? Weird choice for a heartbreak song.” Your coworker and close friend critiqued while snatching the earbuds out of your ears

Y/N: “I like it, and it’s helping so leave me alone.”

Alchemex was quiet and slow at 8 AM, the only tasks you had assigned were to organize itineraries and pick up lunch for your employers. Once that was done you used the time you had to yourself to sit at your reception desk and wallow.

Macie: “Here, eat this.” she said handing you a container of vietnamese spring rolls and mango slices she brought from home

Y/N: “I’m not hungry Mac”

Macie: “Yes you are, you’re just saying that so you don’t have to feel anything other than sadness, but I’m not gonna let you sit at your desk all day and sulk. So eat something, please.” You took the food and ate it while she watched you like a hawk to make sure you got every last bite. She was right, making yourself miserable wasnt helping you but it was the only thing you knew how to do right now.

It’d been 3 weeks since you pushed Miguel O’Hara out of your life, and for those past 3 weeks you have been an absolute mess. You could barely get 2 meals down, your sleep schedule was ruined, you had no motivation to complete any tasks, and you avoided your friends and work almost entirely. It probably wasn’t a good idea to use nearly all of your sick days just so you can cry and mope about a guy but it is what it is at this point. You were fortunate enough though to have friends that wouldn’t stand for you ruining yourself while you recovered from heart break. Today your coworkers unanimously decided they needed to save you from depleting all your sick time and practically dragged you into work today.

Macie: “C’mon, tell me what’s on your mind babe.” She took a seat in her chair next to you

Y/N: “It’s just…why hasn’t he called me? Why hasn’t he tried to come back to our apartment? I just fuck I feel stupid but I wanted him to fight for us and he hasn’t at all.” Tears pricked from your eyes and you let your head fall onto your hands

Macie: “Well, why do you think he hasn’t reached out?”

Y/N: “Because he’s a little bitch that doesn’t care about me.” You cross your arms like a stubborn child

Macie: “That’s possible, but what is your heart telling you?” She asks

Y/N: “…He’s doesn’t know how to apologize for everything, or if I’ll accept it.” Macie nods in agreement

Macie: “I’ve never met Miguel other than passing him to get to the vending machine, but I’ve listened to you cry on my couch about him on multiple occasions. It sounds like this isn’t his first screw up, but it is the worst and I’m sure he knows that. It’s very possible that you two are done for good and I think he’s scared to face that…or make things worse.” You shrug in reply, “Be honest with yourself, would you have even listened if he came back immediately?”

Y/N: “No…I probably would’ve told him to fuck off.” You chuckled

Macie: “See. Maybe this time your taking from him is a good opportunity for the fog to clear, you can figure out if it was just your anger that pushed him away or if you actually want to break up with him. No one’s saying you have to forgive him but don’t write his hesitance off as not caring just yet, I have a gut feeling that he’s just afraid right now.” She pulled you into a much needed hug and ran her fingers up and down your back

Y/N: “…It hurts so bad Mace…I miss him so much and I don’t want to”. You sniffled

Macie: “I know babe I know, if it makes you feel any better you look really hot today even with runny mascara. He’s an idiot for fucking up with you so badly.” She said while planting a sticky lip gloss kiss on your forehead.

Macie helped you fix up your makeup in the bathroom and you both returned to work, luckily the front desk foot traffic is always slow with only phone calls and e-mails to keep you busy. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to keep your mind off of everything.

Miguel wasn’t doing any better than you were. It wasn’t like him to talk without thinking, he was always so stern and calculated with everything he did in life, it was what he was known for but that night it was as if he lost all control. He felt horrible about everything, everything he said to you he wishes he could apologize for but he was terrified that it wouldn’t change anything…or that he might make things even worse.

Miguel’s world came to an abrupt halt since you shut him out. He was bitter and angry and lashed out on his fellow colleagues far more than he usually did. Even his favorite variants couldn’t shield themselves from Miguels wrath. Yelling at Miles or Gwen was routine, but yelling at Peter Parker (Earth-13122) was unheard of and it showed just how badly your absence was effecting him.

Nowadays if it wasn’t for missions or to go into headquarters it was rare for him to ever leave his room— well what was supposed to be a room. All of his belongings were still permanently relocated at the apartment that you both used to share, meaning his old apartment was long gone. There was no place for him to go back to when you kicked him out, so that meant the twin size mattress in Peters guest room that was far too small for his tall figure was what Miguel had called home for the past month.

The clock read 10:34 AM when Peter went downstairs to Miguel’s living space, Peter knocked and poked his head into the guest room

Peter: “Miguel?”, Peter looked in to see a semi asleep Miguel. “Cmon man get up you need to eat something. MJ made French toast, you need food with your depression.”

Miguel: “I’m not hungry.” He sighed and rolled over to face the wall. His appetite wasn’t important to him especially if it meant watching Peter and MJ canoodle at the kitchen counter the way you and him used to. Peter stepped back into the hallway, a worried MJ was motioning him to go back and talk to Miguel.

“Go talk to him!”

“I don’t want, to he’s gonna yell at me!” They both whispered, low enough for a regular person not to hear but it was enough for Miguel’s heightened sense to pick up. Choosing to ignore them, Miguel covered his face with the pillow trying to drift back to sleep until he felt a small weight crawl on him and start tugging in his hair

Mayday: “Uncle Mickey! Wake up Mickey! Come eat breakfast with me!”

Needless to say Maydays cuteness was enough to get Miguel out of his cave. He ate breakfast in silence and by the end Peter had convince Miguel to return back to work, saying it would help him take his mind off things. Mj lent Miguel some of peters old dress clothes from when he was 4 sizes larger, the pants flooded of course but that’s what happens when you’re a foot taller than most people.

It was raining in Miguel’s dimension when he returned, making the drive to Alchemex that much more depressing. It didn’t even register to him that you would be working, he panicked about what he would do or say when he sees you.

Miguel: “Lyla are you there?…” No answer, “Lyla?…Okay I’m sorry.”

Lyla appeared on an illuminated orange screen

Lyla: “Sorry for what? Use those big boy words.” She mocked, arms crossed and turned away from him, refusing to look at him until he gave a proper apology

Miguel: “I’m sorry for yelling and for being a dick for the last few weeks. Okay?” He sighed

Lyla: “See. Was that so hard?” He growled in annoyance but was honestly glad to have her talking to him again, even if she was just a combination of zeroes and one’s she was helpful, “Still having lady troubles I see?” She teased

Miguel: “God, shut up.” He grumbled

Lyla: “That’s it goodbye—

Miguel: “No! No I’m sorry.” He groaned and sank in his seat at the red light rubbing circles on his temples, “What the fuck am I gonna do Lyla? She probably hates me.”

Lyla: “After everything you said I wouldn’t be surprised if she did, but Peters right Miguel you need to just apologize and actually EXPLAIN yourself. Stop acting like such a tough guy and open up to her already. You keep her in the dark all the time and let her wonder if she did something wrong or if you even like her, maybe if you were actually honest with her she’ll understand. And even if she doesn’t understand you STILL owe her an apology. That part’s non negotiable.” Lyla criticized with no intent of being gentle. For an AI she actually gave genuinely good advice.

But he wasn’t ready to see you yet, he wasn’t ready to say what he needed to say, had no idea what he was going to say. So when he made it to Alchemex instead of going through the front entrance like he usually did he opted for the back entrance where the delivery trucks usually are. Stunned faces met his along with whispers and other greetings. A few, “Welcome backs” and handshakes from his fellow geneticists, too many faces and none of them was the one he wanted to see…

Miguel barely got any work done that day, instead he chose to spend all his time pacing back in forth near the second floor ledge. Though his office was on the top floor, the second floor had a view that peered past the large glass staircase and directly over the receptionist desk. So throughout the day he made a routine of getting up every 30-40 minutes to go to the second floor bathroom so he can look over at you on the way back to his office. He couldn’t stop himself from trying to catch a glimpse of you, he got warm each time you smiled at a new person entering the building. It was fake of course, he’d seen your real smile and it was breathtaking. This on the other hand was a plastered in customer service smile accompanied by forced laughs.

Around the the 12th time he went to go check on you he froze when he saw you weren’t at your desk anymore, but it was around the time of your lunch break so he suspected you were in the cafeteria. It was kind of pathetic the way he felt himself rush to the elevator with urgency to get to the food court but it was what he was doing.

The area was busy, filled with lab coats and other Alchemex staff. When he finally located you he stopped in place. You were smiling, genuinely smiling, with some idiot employee he had never seen before. He was leaning against the wall talking your ear off as you bought a soda from the vending machine, and he was far too close. Miguel’s eyes darkened when he hugged you goodbye, holding you a few seconds to long.

“Do you know that guy over there? He’s been staring for a while” Your coworker asked, nodding over to Miguel who stood by the elevator door glaring through angry brooded eyes. You stilled as you met his gaze that softened the longer you looked at him

Y/N: “No…No I don’t.”

Macie: “He just stared? Ew that’s creepy.” She giggled, “Whatever just ignore it, he hasn’t made an attempt to talk to you so don’t even entertain schoolboy behavior like that.”

Y/N: “Yeah, but you should’ve seen him he looked like he wanted to murder somebody...I hate that I thought it was kinda hot.”

She slapped you on the back of the head bringing out a string of giggles amongst the both of you. You took her advice and decided to just forget about the interaction and try and get through the rest of today. You sifted through emails and answered phone calls for the next few hours until a younger boy, no more than 19 years old, walked up to the front desk.

Y/N: “Hi there! can I help you?” You questioned

“Got a Grubhub delivery for Miguel O’Hara.” He held up a closed Thai food bag

Y/N: “Oh okay you can go up that elevator on the left, it’s the sixth fl—

“Customer requested no contact delivery so I guess this is on you guys. Okay bye I’m gonna leave now, remember to tip, thanks!” the rude little bastard plopped the take out bag on the counter in front of you. You’re heart practically plummeted to your stomach at the realization. Miguel knew what he was doing, he knew that if he requested no contact that meant the assigned assistant for genetics department had to deliver it. These snooty scientists didn’t want a random person walking through their building, it happened all the time just never with Miguel. Fuck

Macie looked over at the bag then back at you, just as flabbergasted as you were. Begging her to deliver it for you was no use, she was the assistant for the botany department and could get in huge trouble if she did. Reluctantly you made your way up to the floor his office was located on, the walk from the elevator to his office door felt like an eternity but you swallowed your fear and knocked.

Miguel: “Come in!” He sounded nervous, he looked like it too when you opened his door to see him already standing in front of his desk. Miguel looked disheveled and tired

Y/N: “Here, is there anything else you need Mr. O’Hara?” You deadpanned and handed him the bag. You weren’t surprised to see that he threw the bag away immediately, it’s not like his intention was to eat anyways.

Miguel: “Can I talk to you? Please?” He asked, you sighed and nodded in agreement closing the door behind you to give you both some privacy

Y/N: “Okay go ahead. Talk.”

Miguel: “…Who was that you were talking to?” he asked in a slightly desperate tone

Y/N: “That’s the first thing you have to say to me?” You scoffed

Miguel: “Please just tell me who he is…”

Y/N: “Who? I’m a receptionist I talk to a lot of people.” you lied knowing exactly who he was referring to.

Miguel: “The guy in the cafeteria, with the black hat. Who was he?”

Y/N: “That’s Anthony. He works in security for your department. But I guess you wouldn’t have known that, it’s not really a job that contributes anything to this world, is it?” Miguel winced at the sting of his own words being thrown back at him

Miguel: “…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said that.” he said in a tone barely above a whisper

Y/N: “Great, thanks I’m gonna go back to work now.” You dismissed his shitty excuse for an apology and turned to leave

Miguel: “Y/N I’m trying to say sorry to you!” he said almost begging. He was willing to beg if that’s what it took to make you listen

Y/N: “You’re always sorry! Every week it’s a new apology and honestly they’re all starting to sound the same and Im so tired of it!” you shouted

Miguel: “But I—

Y/N: “No I am talking, you are listening!” you silenced him, “You made it clear how you felt about me and I’m not going to keep myself in a situation where I’m just a fill in for someone else.”

Miguel: “…What are you saying?”

Y/N: “I don’t want to be with you any—

Miguel: “Please, please don’t say that N/N.” He practically leapt from his desk when you turned to leave without saying anything. It didn’t matter how many times he said your name it didn’t stop you, not until he physically blocked the door with his own body

Y/N: “O’Hara MOVE!” you demanded. The sound of his last name being said again signifying just how detached you we’re becoming

Miguel: “No. I want to fix this please!”

Y/N: “Find a new replacement then!”

The two of you went back and forth for what seemed like hours, his pleading was relentless. You’d never seen this side of Miguel before, he was unhinged and desperate it was like watching a child have a breakdown. But it wasn’t changing your mind, you deserved better.

When you reached for the door handle once again that’s when all of his words came spilling out.

Miguel: “You’re not a replacement! You’re not a joke or useless or anything stupid I said! I didn’t mean any of it I was just tired of being painted as the bad guy so I wanted to make you feel worse than I felt! But…I am the bad guy Y/N, Im a selfish fucking moron and I ruined a perfectly good thing just because I was scared we were getting too close and that would mean I might forget about Dana and Gabriella! So every time you wanted a date night or wanted to bring me to a family dinner or even just wanted to be around me I made excuses, because every time I did those things I felt myself forgetting. But I’m sorry! I’m sorry for saying terrible things to you and I’m sorry for making you feel worthless, I’m sorry for being so fucking stupid throughout this entire relationship, I’m sorry Y/N….”, He looked down ashamed, he sounded so small and vulnerable something he had not been in a very long time. You froze in place, taking a moment to process everything.

He finally looked back up at you and you stared at him with wide blank eyes. Whether it confusion, sympathy, or hatred he couldn’t tell, but your silenced scared him.

Miguel: “Please… say something.” He begged

Y/N: “Miguel…you’re grieving and I understand that, I think in some way you’ll always mourn the loss of Dana and Gabriella. But we can’t continue this at the expense of my own feelings, I need to know that if we were to keep this up you’re not going to keep hurting me during the process of you healing.”

Miguel: “I understand, I’ll do better I promise.” He felt a wave of relief surge through him. He leaned in to try and hug you but he tensed again when you rejected it, placing your hand on his chest and pushing him away.

Y/N: “I…I think we need a break Miguel…” His shoulders dropped in disappointment

Miguel: “So that’s it? We’re done?”

Y/N: “No…no were not done, I just can’t be around you right now. Just because I sympathize with your pain doesn’t brush over the fact that you just admitted to neglecting me on purpose all this time. I can’t ignore that. I need some space, and I think you do too...”

Miguel: “Y/N…”

Y/N: “Bye Miguel…” You opened the door and exited to see concerned faces all staring as you walked by. It didn’t matter what they thought, today would be your last day anyways. You left your name tag on the front desk and gathered your belongings. Miguel watched from his office window as you got into your car and broke down in the drivers seat before leaving the parking lot

Lyla: “Miguel…are you okay?” she interrupted, watching him stare emotionless out of the window

Miguel: “No.”

Lyla: “…Do you wanna talk about it?”

Miguel: “…”

[notanotherblorbo]

Being a barista is so much fun but it is also actual adhd hell.

Like, being on bar is so much fun cause I get to make little wake up potions for ppl but also it is a job of sequencing a bunch of tasks (drinks) in the right order by prioritizing and organizing and communicating. Under high pressure, and while having to interact socially and try to understand ppl because customer service and being a friendly barista. Also having to communicate with my coworkers as well. Auditory processing issues in full swing I have no idea what anyone is saying. This also majorly applies to register.

Also there are so many bad textures, sticky milk and syrups and coffee and the feeling of the film the sanitizer water we use to clean ends up leaving on your hands. Coffee smells bad, the ground up beans are in my top ten worst textures and it's so sticky. Cold brew smells the worst, feels the worst, and sticks the most btw I hate that stuff. And stuff spilling on counters and on clothes and getting on my hands. And I have to wash my hands so much for both sanitary reasons and to limit the sensory overload. Which of course makes my dry skin worse and leads go cracking and bleeding because I have to wash them so much and it's winter and the air is dry.

All of the layers of clothes, like, underwear (loose, too tight, falling down, chafing, etc) -> pants (loose, falling down, too tight, don't fit properly, bad fabric texture) and shirt (to tight) -> apron (uneven, stuff falling out of pockets, chafing on neck, string chafing, uneven distribution of weight in pockets, etc) -> hat (adds pressure to head, itchy, pulls hair) -> shoes (too tight, to loose, my feet hurt) -> general soreness, knee pain, physically and mentally being tired.

And having to wash my hands even more because i got caught adjusting my clothing.

Sensory hell.

Trying to subtly stim or talk to myself or do anything to ground myself or breathe or get some water so I don't get overstimulated and have a breakdown often gets noticed by ppl who get confused because I'm acting weird.

And I feel bad cause I'm getting overwhelmed and I'm forgetting things even more often than normal and I'm not fully reading cups, and I'm messing up my sequencing or somebody does something that slightly changes the rhythm I've managed to get in and completely ruin anything I had going.

And then somebody slightly critiques me and I'm full rsd and emotional disregulation which just makes it even more difficult to process what's going on. And it's all just so upsetting and I can't explain to anyone what it's like because being that overwhelmed by a task that can be done easily by one of my co-workers is a nightmare.

And I really like my job! My coworkers are all friendly ppl for the most part and I want to get to know them better, and the regulars are nice, and I get so much joy from making somebody a good coffee that makes their day better, making ppl smile is the best thing ever!

But I just physically cannot do all the things right.

[golbrocklovely]

Thank you for your response, although i have to disagree with one thing. Because after everything i saw it really doesn’t look like fans do not want to hate on Sam, hell, i’ve seen plenty hate for Sam, especially on Twitter. F.e when Katelyn and Sam were still together and people found out about them, it wasn’t only Katelyn that received hate, Sam has been trashed as well. Most of the tweets aimed at him were saying how horrible of person he is for doing that to Kat, how he is a liar, because he said that he will Marry Kat and now he is with another woman. If anything i’ve seen almost nothing but hate for Sam lately.

Like f.e even comparing to what i see regardless of Colby and Malia and what i saw when it came to Sam and Katelyn. Cause when it comes to CnM relationship i mostly saw ONLY hate for Malia, people claiming that she is controlling colby, that she is toxic and that poor colby have no idea of that and that “they hope he will realize soon” (such a clownshit). But on the other boat i saw both parties receiving hate.

Although ofc that it’s not a competition and both boys unfortunately receive hate every day for basically breathing air and i think that some fans needs to seriously grow up asap. Those men are not their toys.

maybe i didn't explain myself enough. what i was trying to say is that while sam, in the past, didn't get hate for things that this fandom would hate colby for, once he broke up with kat and started dating katelyn, that was the first time i actually saw real vitriol for him. on top of actual critiques/calling him out for things.

but even now, since he's broken up with her, things have turned back in his favor. not completely, of course. but hell, ppl were cheering him on for the way he was responding to katelyn and her tomfoolery lol and weirdly i think that behavior exhibited by him made certain fans like him again. bc he was petty and mean… like they are.

this fandom, since kat and his' breakup, has been weirdly wishy washy with him. bc sometimes they love him DOWN and it don't matter what he does, but then other times they think he's a terrible fucking person and name call him to hell. i mean, prime example was when kat released her songs. of course you had ppl hating on kat, and that was dumb bc she's allowed to say how she feels about her own breakup, but then you had ppl full on defending him and acting as if she shot him or something. but then there were fans that were also calling him out for being a pos and not doing enough during the relationship. but eventually that slowly fizzled out. then tides turned on him when he took katelyn to the same date spot he took kat first. and this cycle of liking him then hating him went back and forth until he broke up with her. now you have fans saying he does all the work for snc and colby's not pulling his weight.

it's weird. the only real time i saw ppl question him was when he was with katelyn. every other instance ppl treated him the same as usual. idk if it's bc ppl just hated katelyn so much that they eventually had to take it out on him bc how dare he choose her over kat or if it was something else entirely. but it was very odd to see him actually get real hate for merely dating someone, when that has been happening to colby for years now.

as for malia and colby's relationship, both of them have had terrible things said about them. with malia, it's mostly about her looks. for colby, it's tearing down his personality or his choices. or just in general making fun of both of them as a couple for being cringy and in love with each other.

and like you said, truly nobody in this situation deserves hate. not the girls, or snc, or kat for that matter. snc did nothing wrong except love someone that fans didn't like. i know i've been yelled at before on here for bringing up sam's inability to be critiqued by the fandom bc "what do you want? both them to get hate???" and it's like… no. i don't want anyone to get hate. but if you're gonna hate on colby for something that sam IS ALSO DOING, keep the energy the same. that's all i ask. or at least admit you have a bias towards sam and nothing he does is wrong, but everything colby does is.

(not saying that's what you think or that you're yelling at me lol just talking about past convos i've had on here).

or, crazy concept, if everyone could just stop hating and be nice to snc, the ppl you're supposed to be FANS OF, that would be nice too.

[tocomplainfriend]

Okay, Mimzy is a Jewish caricature. She used to be a character Viv used a lot in her old art- and now she gets introduced way too fast cause of the pasting of the series. People criticize her appearance on the show because they got a new character, the only fat character that appears- and turns out to be considered annoying inside the episode. Her whole concept is that she brings those shark people cause of stealing and money reasons. Like the Jewish stereotype that she is. -Many people think she makes the episode too crowded, as well. People are disappointed cause is a fat character used a joke, gets disliked by everyone, gets kicked out- and bring in the loan sharks because she is a stereotype of Jewish people.

"mimzy is weird and annoying. There is a reason everyone reacts that way to her presence. Not only is she older than most of the characters there, making her mannerisms and way of speaking strange to the people there" I feel like you pulled that out of nowhere. Cause no where is said that they find her to speak weird- I think that's just you. Even if that's the case, Al speaks the same. -And Sir Pentious has old ways of speaking (he is from the 1800).

She walked into the hotel not caring, yes. But I feel like Alastor kicking her out was just out of nowhere- considering how he was ok with her earlier, and husk had to complain to him how "Mimzy only comes to you when there are problems" as a constant thing.

2. I think if you plan criticizing the bible, religion, etc. You at least need to know about it. The whole point of redemption and "Heaven is a lie", would be perfect to use Saint Peters for that. He was a human that made mistakes, and that the church themselves feel are wrong. He was a person that asked questions and was very interested in the original. The idea of him being a goodie two shoes, plain guy like he was introduced, make me not like that. Also, the critique went to how he looked. They made an old, big man, look like the rest of twinks with smiles in the Hazbin designs. If she doesn't want stuff from the religion in the series, then literally, why go over the morality and redemption aspect criticism. I didn't say she was trying to rewrite the bible, but she goes figure uses stuff from the bible. I don't like it, that's it. I don't like many things from the hell depiction and heaven depiction.

"but if you're going to criticize it, maybe actually have valid critiques instead of whatever this is" Brother my whole account goes for complaining about anything I want. I didn't like this, so I put it here. "Have valid critiques" these are just me complaining about stuff that I don't like-this is a post done to contrast my last two about episode 4 and the rape joke in episode 6. They were really heavy, so I thought about complaining in other things in a small manner.

Mimzy is a joke and Poor Saint Peter

Mimzy is treated so baaad in the show. She appears halfway to a confrontation of Al and Lucifer. Her plot is the 2 thing going on the episode besides Charlie's daddy issues (see how many HB/HH characters have problems with their dad or moms?). She is suddenly viewed as weird and annoying by all the other characters. As if she isn't like all the others. She is treated like a joke, and literally only brings problems (the shark demons) to the hotel. Only to get kicked out by the end of the episode by Al (to also make Al looks like he cares of the hotel like Charlie said). You get a fat character in these shows, and they are either the villain or an inconvenience (Mammon and Mimzy). She is a caricature, and all of her as a character is a joke.

Know about Saint Peters... ugh, it's so annoying. These people want to criticize the bible and actually don't know the bible??? Why and how did you draw him like that???? You turn this guy, a saint in the bible, a pope, an old Jewish man, one of the best characters in the bible writing wise, the guy who requested being crucified upside down because he didn't seem himself fit to die like Jesus did, into that? He is literally so interesting in the bible, like, how did you turn him into that??

(why are mf all look the sameeee? Legit, the drawing up is so jarring)

You turned him into a random plain good twink man?

[mozzarellamuppet]

If you want to can you tell us what the boys YouTub Chanel would be like, who’s the gamer? Who’s the video easy people. Would they have their S/O Show up on the Chanel? Do what ever boys you want. Have a nice day

You have a nice day too! Some of these guys were difficult to think of cause some of them are extremely camera shy.

Sans: Prank channel, he records the pranks he pulls on the people in the house and posts them. Everyone in the house wants to throttle him lmao. You'll probably show up on the channel but you probably wouldn't like how you're in it. Just remember you love him is all I can say.

Papyrus: He's sort of a channel close to Jenna Marbles, he does random things that he just feels like doing. Like making the annoying dog float with balloons or tie dying crop tops and booty shorts. He would love to have you on the channel to do stuff with him! Or behind the camera if you aren't comfortable with being on camera yourself.

Azure (Underswap Sans): He's a challenge channel, he does challenges and stunts on his channel (not the extremely stupid ones though), he would love to have you on the channel with him! It'd probably be a messy video due to being outside and a lot of challenges involving a mess outside. He isn't allowed to do them inside the house unless it's an easy to clean up one. He also has a side channel for cryptid studies.

Crow (Underswap Papyrus): Book review channel! He talks about different books, his favorite tropes in books, cliches he likes and doesn't like in stories. Yes, he also talks about fanfic on the channel. He also does small skits on occasion to overdramatize scenes he found stupid in stories. He'd enjoy having you on the channel, being able to talk about books with someone besides the audience that can't respond is nice. Just don't ask about the weird side of fanfic videos, he'll die of embarrassment.

Red (Underfell Sans): The gamer. Need I say more. Well I'm going to anyways, he does more action based games instead of slower ones. The most popular videos on his channel are him playing horror games, not cause he's tough though. It's cause people like watching him either rage at games, make fun of them, or scream like a little girl. He'd totally want you to join him on multiplayer games and when he plays actually scary horror games. No, totally not to comfort him when he gets scared. Totally not.

Rouge (Underfell Papyrus): Cooking channel! Except he's one of the channels that cooks using unconventional means and watching him cause messes and failures in the kitchen. Let's just say people don't watch him for recipe ideas. He'd love to have you on the channel as long as you're comfortable with a chaotic kitchen and inedible food at the end of everything.

Plum (Swapfell Sans): He's a review channel and theory channel, he deep dives into films and popular media to try finding dark secrets or critique bad movies he had to watch for his channel. He'd enjoy having you on the channel, it's nice to have a conversation or a debate with an actual person. Plus you two can have date nights at movie theaters and also get content to use for the channel!

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): This man is a mystery on the internet, he makes short clips of random things that make little to no sense. Basically he is the embodiment of the weird side of TikTok, he makes edit YouTube poop clips or he's in extremely odd costumes doing random shit. If you want to be in one of his videos you'll have to be ready to match whatever energy this man is about to unleash for whatever poor insomniac will witness on a 3am YouTube sinkhole.

Willow (Horrortale Papyrus): Gardening tip channel, he spreads gardening knowledge on the internet for people who want their gardens to be the best they can be. He doesn't show his face on camera though, all that can be seen is his gardening shirt, overalls, and gardening gloves. It'd be difficult for you to be on the channel too and be visible but you're more than welcome to be his assistant and co-host with voiceovers to talk about vegetables, fruits, and flowers.

Hickory (Horrortale Sans): This one was probably the most difficult to figure out. He hates being on camera and he isn't the kind of person to put himself out there at all. Sorry, but he just isn't the type to be on camera. He'd gladly be behind the camera though to film videos for the other boys, he'd enjoy having you behind the scenes with him and helping out though.

[starsonfilm]

On IC and DC in My Chart

When I say relationship I mean every single one; platonic, romantic and even familial.

I wish there was more astrology posts about IC and DC. Its weird cause the angles are clearly very pivotal in your chart but I never see nearly enough about these 2 maybe because they are so internal and private in a way? I will make post expanding on my AC and MC trouble too but for me these are my most blocked parts I have had continuous troubles with family and relationships from birth.

In fact, I've always felt I didn't have a family and have searched for it in every person I befriended. I have Eros right on my IC and I know Eros has certain connotations but it's also just is desire right? I feel that so intensely. My desire for a family is so maddening it almost feels primal.

This is embarrassing to admit but any time I've received kindness from older women it's rooted itself into me at some very deep place. I think of all those women constantly even if it was just a few seconds, something as simple as a kind TSA agent adjusting my sweater and saying "don't worry sweetie, it was probably just your zipper". I want a mother so badly. I want a family so badly.

Feeling like I never had these things effected how I went about every relationship in my life for basically as long as I can remember.

I have Chrion in 7th conjunct my DC (its a much looser orb at 6 degrees but I feel bc it's still in my 7th house its still feels so intense).

I have never had a normal relationship. I used to think I was cursed but as I got older I realized everyone in my life was just as broken as I was and a lot in similar ways. Even if our circumstances weren't the same I could feel it in all of my friends; they desired so desperately to be loved but were so afraid of it.

It's very chironic of me to pull in people with similar wounds, especially because now that we're older I have found it much easier to open up and even as a very closed off person (and I was a teen then so it was literally so bad god...) I unintentionally showed a lot of love. All my friends have said something to me along those lines. That they feel I am very giving and loving (I have a lot of placements for this but lets also save this for another time).

I think I unintentionally helped heal some of my chironic wound by doing this because then my friends started being much more openly loving with me as well! I also think I am very lucky with the people who have found their way into my life. Even with all of our pain and inability to share love openly we all just get along so well, maybe I'm niave or maybe its because I just love them so much it feels it must be magic; but it feels like its rare to see friendships like ours.

Based on my MC aspects I have Venus trine, Mercury sextile, and Saturn square IC.

Based on my AC aspects I have Moon trine, Saturn opposite, Chiron conjunct and Uranus and Neptune square my DC.

These are the parts of my chart I wish I could find more info on. Overlays and even the Chiron conjunction I feel I understand well but these all feel blurry to me, esp the IC aspects.

Anyways if anyone has thoughts, additions, critiques, opinions anything pls share!! I really wanna hear other people's thoughts on this. Here is my birthchart since I know sometimes explainations of placements and stuff aren’t enough.

[lazzledazzler]

Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 12

Home again

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n returns home

Warnings: steve almost cries, swearing maybe, kissing, mentions of violence and scars

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Steve was distraught. He sat completely still, head buried in his hands as his mind whirred. I string hand on his shoulder caused the man to look up, blue eyes meeting Tony's brown ones which were filled with sorrow and pity.

"I know you love her, but it's over Steve. They have her there's-" a crack in his voice made the billionaire pause, "there's nothing we can do this time."

"But I left her, Tony!" Steve shouted, standing up abruptly. "I could've saved her, and I didn't!" Steve's face was red, Tony's face taken aback. "She's your daughter and I didn't even save her..."

"Hey, stop." Tony snapped, pulling Steve's attention to him instantly. "I know she's my daughter but I also know that you love her enough that you wouldn't give up on her if you did t have too!" Tony wanted to shout, to scream at his friend.

"He's right, Steve. Well all know you love her." Nat smirked, arms crossed over her chest as she now leant in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" Steve asked and Nat simply quirked a brow. Steve nodded and realised she'd most probably been there the entire time. "And how do you know...?"

"That your in love with y/n?" Nat clarified. Steve nodded. "It's obvious, Capsicle. You literally give her heart eyes whenever she's not looking and you always fidget when you're around her. But my favourite part," Nat pushed off the door frame, walking into the room, "is that you act like you hate her. I new you didn't have great experience with women, but I didn't know it was that bad." She remarked and Steve made to protest but was cut off.

"She's right, y'know. There's no way in hell a girl's gonna ask you out if you critique every last thing about her and give her the evil eyes every time she looks at you." Tony added, making Steve shut his mouth and stare at the ground again.

"B-but it's been weeks." Steve stuttered. "What's if she's... what if they killed her, Tony? I think that's on my. Her blood would be on my hands." He rambled, and Tony was about to reply when Bruce appeared at the door.

"You guys might want to come downstairs." He said quietly, and the three avengers already in the room looked at each other, confused. Steve quickly swiped the threatening tears from his eyes, him and Tony making their way down the stairs as fast as they could.

...

I burst through the doors, immediately met with the sight of Tony pointing to some papers the person next to him was holding and discussing something with them. My face broke out into the biggest smile, the sight of my dad after the hell I'd been through like a shelter from the rain.

I waved frantically, already breaking into a run towards him, his head snapping up at the wild movement and his face morphing into one of shock and relief, his arms held open.

"Lil?" His voice was full of concern as my arms wrapped around his neck when we collided, my legs wrapping around his waist and his hands finding their place on my back. "Oh my god, Lil, you scared us so much, scared me." He whispered into my hair, pulling back enough to cup my face in his hands. "It's you." I smiled.

I nodded my head furiously, burying my wet face into his shoulder, jumping down from the embrace.

"Lily?" The unsure voice from the edge of the room caught my attention, a grin spreading on his lips seeing me. I held back tears looking at him, my smile still wide. He walked towards me, enveloping me in a hug so tight it could crush a normal person. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He kept saying, his hand tangled in my hair.

I shook my head, sorrow filling my eyes as in stared at the man that had engulfed me with his body. He pulled back, looking sternly into my eyes.

"I know you think I hate you. But, I wouldn't wish what happened to you on anyone, Lily. Not even my worst enemy." Steve whispered, his eyes clouded with pity.

"Well that's new." Tony remarked seeing us hug, confusion lacing his tone. "Hey, kid, what's with the mute?" He pondered as I gave no verbal reply, Steve now looking deeply concerned for me too.

I sighed through my nose, pulling back the collar of the jacket to reveal the long, vermillion scar across my neck.

"You should go see the others, they'll be happy to know you're back." Tony said with a pitiful smile.

...

A million warm embraces later, tears shared and hearty laughs exchanged, I was just about ready to fall asleep and never wake up. I was about to excuse myself when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see Steve, a stoic expression on his face.

"Can we talk?" He asked, nodding his head towards the door. I nodded, following him out into the hallway. I laid my shoulder against the wall, observing Steve's constant pacing.

So what's up?

I quickly jotted down, handing the small electronic device Tony had retrieved for me to Steve, raising a brow. He stopped, looking me in the eye. He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am, I let him do that to you. It's my fault. I don't even know how to live with myself, I should've come looking for you, or-" I cut him off with a tap on the shoulder as I handed him the pad.

Cap, it's fine. I'm fine.

I stressed, writing in italics. The man read it with furrowed brows. cleared my throat before continuing.

I just don't know how long I can keep pretending to be happy, I just want to die.

I finally confessed, vision blurred and screen obscured with tears. A tear rolled down my cheek.

I don't know how to go on, every tome I close my eyes all I see him, what he did

My gaze averted from his as he read.

"Hey, hey. You're strong, you can do this. Let's go get you cleaned up." Steve suggested, looking at my through his lashes and placing a careful hand on my shoulder, which I flinched away from. I gulped.

Steve, there's a reason he let me go

I wrote down, finally meeting his gaze. His eyes were full of questions he didn't dare ask.

He let me go to send a message. He said that if we interfere with him again what happened to me will be child's play compared to what will happen.

His face dropped.

If a few days of torture is child's play, what does he have planned?

I asked, sobbing now.

"Lily, you were gone for three weeks." Steve added quietly, making me look up from where I'd been starting at the floor to meet his eyes. My eyes widened. Steve grimaced, nodding solemnly.

"Go have a shower, I'll grab you some fresh clothes and a towel. We'll talk more when you're feeling warmer and cleaner." He suggested again, and was met with a nod from me this time.

We reached my room, Steve holding the door opening for me and me giving a tiny smile that said 'thanks' as I walked in. I headed straight for the bathroom, taking my time in peeling the ripped tank top from my body and throwing the muddied shorts on the floor with them. Just then, the door opened, Steve walking in with a towel and some cloths folded on top. His eyes widened and he instantly apologised.

"Sorry, lily, I thought you'd be in the shower by now." But before he could walk out his eyes finally locked on me. His eyes raked over me, his eyes surveying my wrists, which were rubbed red-raw from chains and ropes; my neck, which was red and violently bruised; my bruised upper arms; my waist that was covered with finger-shaped bruises; my thighs, that were also bruised and finally my back that starred at him in the mirror. It was a mess of diagonal cuts, which were not longer bleeding but were still a blood red colour. I looked down at my feet nervously, feeling weird under his gaze.

"He did this to you?" Steve asked, tears in his eyes. I nodded, slowly looking back up at him. Before he could say anything else I cupped his face in my hands, smashing my lips to his in a kiss that conveyed everything I could never say out loud. After a moment, his hands reached for my face, returning the kiss. Our lips welded together, his tongue poking at my lower lip, begging for entrance that I granted. His tongue rolled over mine in languid stroked, soothing. I pulled back first, turning and pulling the shower curtain open. I climbed in, turning on the water and getting lost in the warmth and steam that swallowed me.

...

I walked out the bathroom, clad in one of Steve's T-shirt he grabbed for me, some shorts and fresh underwear. He must've noticed that I liked stealing Tony's shirts and given me one of his instead. Rubbing my hair dry with a towel, I dumped it on a near-by chair when my hair was only damp. Steve instantly stood from where he was sat on the edge of my bed when he saw me, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

I began writing, but before I could finish his lips were on mine and the little device was dropped to the floor. It was less desperate that the last time, more passionate and slow. It expressed everything we needed to say, and that was enough. My arms hooked around his neck, my fingers playing with the hairs at the base of his neck, whilst one of his tangled in my hair, the other resting on my cheek.

"You talk too much." He mumbled against my lips and we both let out a breath meant to be a laugh. "Too soon?" He asked before leaning in for another, our lips locking together. He pulled back and looked in my eyes, his hand running through my dampened hair.

He cleared his throat, stepping back from me, his gaze flitting from the door before landing back on me.

"I should go." He spoke, heading for the door. As he placed his hand on the door knob he froze at when I tapped on his broad back.

Don't.

The little device said. He had a hopeful look in his eyes.

Go. Don't go. Please.

I wrote , looking at him with pleading eyes. He nodded, walking back over to me.

I don't think I can be alone tonight.

I stated before climbing into my bed and patting the spot next to me. Steve hesitantly climes in beside me, laying behind me and draping his arm over my waist, pulling me into his firm chest. His body heat radiated over me and sleep soon took over as I sunk into him, his hand playing with my hair.

...

"Lil? Lily? Lily!" I shot up, panting hard and sweat covering my forehead. I slowly look to the side where Tony sat, a concerned look filling his eyes. My gaze looked at the door, where Steve stood, looking over me with what looked like fear, before going back to Tony. "Hey, kiddo, what happed?" He asked, stoking my hair. I swallowed thickly, breathing calmed down.

"You were restless, moving about in your sleep." Steve clarifies from the door, not wearing what he was before. He must've left after I fell asleep. I motioned for Tony to pass me the device which sat on the bedside table and he handed to to me.

I was back there. He was

I couldn't finish writing, the device falling from my shaking hand onto the duvet as I bit back tears, sinking into the embrace Tony held me in.

[babylooneytoonz]

Warnings: These two just can't stop fighting // them being adorable // poor jokes

Please find all the other links to other parts in the Master list.

You looked at yourself in the mirror for probably the tenth time. Were you looking trashy ? Not really. You ran your hands through your hair, ruffling them up just the right amount so that they looked bouncy as your fingers moved on to the lipstick. Were you looking just too plain? You groaned at youself for probably the twentieth time, but this time you grabbed the red lipstick. It was a bold choice, red lipstick, a plaid checkered shirt, and a pencil jeans, not to forget your heels, that you never really wore. 

"Damn girl, you really look great," Wanda tossed herself against your mattress, her eyes plastered on you. "Lucah will go crazy, I tell you." 

"How do you even know this guy again?" You raised your eyebrow, looking at her through your mirror, as you slid your glasses back on and scanned at yourself one last time. 

"He was Pietro's bestfriend." 

You noticed Wanda zone out, probably lost in some old memories. You knew memories were bitches; so it was better not to scratch them up, so you decided to change the topic. 

"Is he hot?" 

"Smokin'." Wanda smirked, propping herself up as she walked up to you, "Think a strong , muscular back, veiny arms, the guy can flex, sandy blond hair." 

"Jeez, I can really picture Steve right now." 

Your words were enough to send Wanda into a snort, followed by a carefree laugh as she shook her head. 

"Na, Steve is more, I don't know, decent looking? Lucah, I'd say he's 21st century, Steve likes jazz, Lucah likes R&B. They're like poles apart?" 

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but since you already texted him three times just to make sure he arrived on time to pick me up, I'm sure the guy is probably waiting for me right now." You grinned, grabbing your purse. As if on cue, Friday's voice rang through your room, informing you that your date had arrived downstairs to pick you up and Wanda's grin just widened.

"I'll see you later, babe, have fun." She winked teasingly and you gave her a last smile before you practically ran out towards the elevator. 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Wanda was right, the guy looked handsome. He was just the right amount of handsome, and you did look good when you sat clinging to him while he rode his motorcycle through town, all the efforts you had put into setting your hair down the drain. He had complimented you, the first thing he saw you, how beautiful you were, and who were you kidding, it had been ages someone had said that, and you were already blushing a scarlet red. When he asked you if you had something planned out for the day for you had already communicated through Wanda that you were planning the date this time, you gave him a tight lipped smile. 

Thus, the two of you found yourselves seated at an open air cafe that was directly in front of the entrance of the movie theater, on the opposite side of the road.

So far, the date wasn't going good. Of course, you were sitting there, right across from him, giving him the most bored looks ever. Not that he was bad, maybe you just weren't feeling it, or you had been off the market and under the radar for so long, you had forgotten what made a date a really fabulous date. Also, your eyes found themselves trailing over the cineplex doors, wondering when the afternoon show of the only movie that was playing there today will get over. 

"So, Y/N, the Avengers huh? How does it feel to be one of them?" Lucah just said, trying to lighten up the weirdness that was already bubbling up inside of you. On the table, in front of you, your untouched plate of fries, and a cappuccino lay, while he was happily gobbling up the nachos, at a pace much faster than yours. 

Your breath left your lips rather loudly, when you finally saw the doors open, and people started to tumble out, discussing the movie and mostly critiquing it. 

"Hey, are you listening -" 

Your eyes lit up in excitement, when you saw just the people your eyes had been waiting to see, followed by an obvious scowl that crept up on your lips. Bucky had his arm wrapped around her still, and although he didn't appear to be smiling, he wasn't frowning either, so you assumed that he did have a good time, except for when he looked at her with slight irritation when she would bring up her palm, holding two popcorns between her fingers as she tried feeding him. 

"Cringy as fuck," you blurted out in a low annoyed voice, and Lucah just looked at you, his frown now obvious as he turned to follow your gaze to look at what you were looking at, or who.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Life of an Avenger, I meant." 

He nodded and sat back, staring down at his hands. He wasn't sure suddenly why he was even here, and hadn't he left already. Although you were pretty, he was sure of that, he didn't really seem to find you interesting and you only seemed like you were distracted, looking around, not even having your fries, that laid abandoned on the table. 

Suddenly, Bucky's eyes, like a magnet flew towards you, but you at the right time, you turned your gaze away, fixing it on Lucah and leaned forward, reaching out and placing your palm on his hand that was laying on the table. You threw out the sauciest smiles that you could, parting your lips, your tongue sneaking out and moistening your lower lip. Slowly, you stood up and cleared your throat, you knew that Bucky was watching you now, you could feel his burning gaze on you. 

You walked over to where Lucah was seated, round the table; and boy, did he look scared at what you were going to do, and not to mention, totally confused. You didn't understand what got into you, it was like you were suddenly on fire, and you wanted to put on a good show, for Bucky's eyes. You lowered yourself on Lucah's lap, his arm snaking around your waist in reflex. He didn't push you away, he was so startled, and even before he could push you away, you didn't give him the time; you smashed your lips against his, leaning down on him, your nails almost digging into his shoulder, your other hand holding him by his head, your fingers matted into his hair. 

Bucky kept watching, from afar. His eyes had darkened two shades, and his face had a look, a look that said, if anyone would even dare mess with him now, he would rip them apart into pieces. He let out a frustrated grunt, and the woman next to him stopped blabbering and looked at him, frowning at his sudden outburst. 

"Let's go and eat at that cafe, I'm starving," Bucky grumbled, under his voice, grabbing the woman's hand and walking her towards the open roof cafe, eyeing the table just next to yours. 

As Bucky and the woman passed you by, he intentionally cleared his throat so loudly, you had to break your kiss, but the smug smirk on your lips meant that you knew that what you wanted to do had had the desirable effect on him, and that was what made you feel even more better. 

"Well, that was nice," You brought your palm up to Lucah's cheeks, your thumb grazing against the stain that your ravaged lipstick had left against his soft, plump ones. You finally stood up again, straightening your dress, and running your hands through your hair until you walked back to your chair, sliding down against it. Your breathing was hitched, your ears felt warm, and your cheeks were heating up. 

"I don't get it these days, with people and their cheap, corny as fuck public display of affection." Bucky suddenly began, causing you and Lucah to snap your head towards the table next to you; your eyes narrowed. Bucky just sat there, lounging against the back of the chair, sipping on some soda through the straw, his eyes fixed on the blonde. 

"Well, excuse me but are you talking about-" Lucah began to speak in a low voice, but you cut him off, reaching oit for Lucah, until you had taken his hand, your fingers coiled with his. 

"You know some people are just so closed off, they would suck at this PDA thing, and knowing they can't do it, they just like to comment on others," you said those words loud enough so Bucky could hear them, and then you grabbed a fry, tossing it into your mouth, sitting back more comfortably. If anyone could see the scene unfurl, it would have been hilarious to watch. 

"Maybe we just have more class, and prefer to fool around at more private places." 

If you had eyes on your side, you would sure have seen the widest smirk on Bucky's face. But even without taking a look at him, you knew he was smirking.

"Private places? Like what? The back of a theater? Who even does that? What are you? Like 16? Get a room," you snapped. 

"Well, you have a room, but do you have a partner to share it with?" 

Before you could come back with a reply to what Bucky had just said, your eyes skid to where Lucah was. He had stood up, making a ruckus with his chair, to snap you out of whatever you had going on. He cleared his throat, slammed a few notes for the date on the table, and walked off, his leather jacket dangling from his shoulder. He, however, made his way to the blonde sitting opposite Bucky, who had a clear scowl on her face. 

"Maybe you would like to get another table? And we could just leave them alone?" 

"Yeah, I'd like that," the woman stood up, clearly giving Bucky the cold shoulder and she unzipped her purse, and pulled out a few dollars, almost throwing them into Bucky's face. He was taken aback, and was ready to say something to her, when you suddenly called out, "Hey blondie, you do realize that metal arm can choke you right? And I'm not talking about choking you in bed. The guy took you to the movies, the least you can do is be a little respectful." 

Their heavy footsteps vanished away; and you finally craned your neck towards Barnes, your eyes finally meeting his. He had an amused look playing on his face. It wasn't a smirk, but it wasn't a smile either. It was a mix of them both. 

"What?" You mumbled, in a low voice, reaching out and grabbing your fry.

"Mhm, nothing, just wondering why you defended me." 

Another fry was awkwardly stuffed into your mouth, followed by a sip of your cappuccino. 

"So I could be the one to insult you the next time." 

A silence fell on the two of you and now, you averted your eyes. You didn't want to look at him, so now you didn't know what he was doing, or what he was probably thinking. You could hear him aimlessly tapping his palm against the table but the sound suddenly stopped. You heard him stand up, and then he moved to the chair that laid abandoned in front of you, pulling it out and propping himself down against it. 

"Well, it's just the two of us now, and that's a lot of fries, you sure you can eat them alone?" Your lips twitched, but you bit on your tongue to control yourself from giving him the widest smile that you could give him, as you saw his hand inching towards your plate. You swatted his hand with yours at the exact time he grabbed a fry, but he was fast, he had already pulled back and pushed the fry into his mouth. 

"Don't put your fingers into my fries, I don't even want to think about the places your, uh, fingers have been while back at the movies." You made a gagging face, and Bucky's face turned red for a second, and he just started coughing, and grinning at the same time. 

"We were watching Wall-E." 

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's-"

"The only place my fingers were was into the bucket of caramel popcorn. Who the hell prefers caramel anyway?"

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

"I can't believe it," you smirked; almost widening your eyes in the most dramatic way while Bucky just rolled his eyes and shook his head, looking at you. "You've been fucking around with that one for weeks, and you've not even asked her what her name was?" 

"She did tell me her name, I just forget. It was Maggie or Pastry, I don't even remember. Who the hell is even called Pastry?" 

"Barnes, my cat's name was Pastry, are you fucking saying it wasn't a good name?" 

"For a human, not a cat." He just smirked, leaning forward. 

You were sitting on a swing, your heels laying abandoned next to where Bucky sat on a bench, from where he could see you; your feet grazing against the dew on the grass. It was pretty late at night, well not that late, but it was almost dinnertime. 

"Who the hell named you Bucky? You don't even have buck teeth." 

"Really? Was that supposed to be a joke?" He smirked, leaning forward, his elbows resting against his knees, his hair falling against his eyes. 

"Yeah well, you know. Bucky, buck teeth, it rhymes?" Maybe it was the two bottles of beer that the two of you had, but it annoyed you how he was in his complete senses and here you were, making weird cringy jokes that didn't even make sense. 

"I thought you hated me." 

You stopped swinging abruptly, when you heard him, his words slowly sinking him. Groaning to yourself, you stood up, and walked up to where he was, lowering yourself next him to him, staring at the swing that was still moving lightly. 

"You give yourself too much importance, Barnes. Besides, you started this whole thing in the first place." 

You couldn't see his expressions now, but you could feel him lost in a deep thinking. At a slow pace, you turned your head to face him and you saw that he was staring at the starry sky, thinking. 

"I don't get it. You're a freaking super soldier, you're supposed to be strong, and you're supposed to be pain tolerant, and you whined about me burning your fucking abs for days." 

He suddenly snapped his head towards you, whatever he was thinking before this now abandoned. His eyes were narrowed, and his lip almost twitched, in annoyance before he grumbled, "that was my favourite tshirt. And besides, I was sort of having a bad day." 

You stood up, turning around so you were now looking down at him, a frown having paved it's way over your forehead and your hands fixed on your hips. 

"You fucked with my mind, you made me look like a freaking joke in front of Steve, just because you had a fucking bad day?" 

He shook his head, almost grumbling under his breath, wondering why he had let you drink. 

"And who do you think you were back at that simulation training?" 

"Well that was different- " 

"How? Care to explain?" 

You couldn't believe it, the nerves on this man. You almost gasped, taking a step away from him, draping your arms over your chest. 

"You knew what clearing that certification meant to me."

"Well, doll. Being an Avenger means everyone fends for themselves; it was a fair fight, but you didn't want to play fair, and that's your fault." 

While Bucky just deadpanned, his face giving you a look of disapproval, you just curled your lips into a snicker, almost throwing your head backwards, so you could let out a laugh. 

"Look who's talking." 

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Bucky shrugged. 

"How fair would you think messing with someone's weights at the gym is?" 

Now it was your turn to smirk, and your smirk even widened when you saw a sudden look of discomfort flash against the man's face, which he quickly masked by pulling on his cold and emotionless expression, "I don't understand." 

"Sam told me, you prick. You messed with my weights, you wanted to get back at me. Don't you dare tell me this was all my fault. When I just wanted to fucking make things right." 

"Yeah, make things right? I can see how you made things right." His knuckles cracked, and his jaw squared, as he towered over you. 

"Well, I would've, if you weren't busy getting into that bitch's pants, whatever her name was." 

"Pastry." 

"You've gotta be kidding me, who the fuck names a child Pastry?" 

Bucky sighed, for probably the tenth time, and ran his fingers through his hair. Women, they always suprised him; and the women he met, they were all different and unique in the most weird ways, like this one standing right in front of him. She was just plain weird, and psychotic. But he couldn't deny, even with her weird psychotic ways, she was slowly growing on him. 

"The point is?" He raised a brow. 

"Well, the point is, Sergeant, I came to your room, to make this right. But you were so excited to go on this lousy date." 

"You really hate that I went on a date with her right? Why don't you go on a real date with me then?" 

His palms grabbed your arms, and he pulled you closer, his blues staring into your (Y/E/C). 

You swallowed the bile in your throat, and parted your lips. Words wouldn't come out though, it was as though your throat had constricted and you couldn't speak. You were like a ferocious animal cornered, you wanted to bite but you couldn't, so you just gave him a glare, furrowing your brows, and flaring your nostrils just a bit. 

"Atleast be a man and kiss me when I know you're dying to do it for a long time, Barnes." 

"You've gotta be kidding-" 

Bucky couldn't complete his sentence; not when you had smashed your lips against his surprisingly soft ones. He tasted like peppermint, and cinnamon, a taste you could not put a name to, but whatever it was, it was just right. 

You finally pulled away, almost gasping for air, and the expression on Bucky's face was just priceless. His jaw slightly hung, and you could see that his lips were parted, confusion reflecting in his expressions. But at the same time, his cheeks had a faint tint of red, and he licked his lips, relishing in the aftermath of the kiss. 

You took a step away, and turned around, casually skipping along the grass, until you were down on the swing again, and he just kept staring at you. 

You really were the weirdest one he had met. 

"Oh, and bdw, I know you checked out my ass that day at the gym. Hope you liked it." 

If you could compare Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes face with a tomato, you wouldn't have been able to decide which one was redder. 

(Author's Note- I am so sorry this was so long! I was practically giggling when I wrote this chapter. They remind me so much of Tom & Jerry, I just can't. 🤣Anyway, I hope you guys liked this. 💗 )

Permanent Bucky Barnes Taglist :

@really-dont-forget-it

@thepeakygurl

@all-art-is-quite-useless

@baumarvel

@janajjj

@chipilerendi

@nyotamalfoy

@skittychat

Want to be added to my taglist? Please fill up a form on this link. 💗

[jacscorner]

My PROPER Thoughts on Masters of the Universe: Revelations!

Well, I finally saw the show proper. And, well, honestly, for what it was, it wasn't that bad. In all honesty, I think it was fairly decent.

If that's enough for you to try it for yourself, then go right ahead and watch it. But there are a few story beats I wanna talk about, because some of the choices they made still just...baffle me.

Spoilers under the cut. The show, like, literally just came out, so proceed with caution.

Just for the record, if I was to grade this show, it'd be a C+, if not just a B. I feel I need more time to digest what I watched, and MAYBE see if there's ever a part two to this mini-series.

That...probably sounds harsh since this show LOOKS so good. The animation, voice acting, and music is phenomenal! But I'd argue in this day of age, that should be expected. Especially from Netflix and Mattel, both of which are pretty big.

And, honestly, I like a lot of shows that aren't NEARLY as good as He-Man in these departments. It's not all about how good something looks at sounds, it's about how it all comes together.

Like I said before the cut, on its own, the show is actually pretty good for the most part. But first, we need to talk about the marketing again. Cause remember, a lot of the marketing is centered around He-Man.

And I don't just mean the trailers. This is the 'Fist Wave' of toys. Look who's here, and notice who's missing. He-Man, Skeletor, Battle Cat, and Evil-Lyn. Yeah, that makes sense. And Skele...Skelelord, I think is what that's called, that only appears at the last possible minute of the series.

Oh, and Moss Man.

...And that's it.

Like, seriously, what? Where's Man-At-Arms? Where's Teela? Actually, no, flip that, where the hell IS Teela?! She's the main character and she doesn't get a toy?! How are you gonna kill He-Man twice in this show, but not have 1 Teela toy?! Teela's one of the main characters of the series, and she doesn't get a toy, but Moss Man does?!

This is so...oddly sexist. It's like they didn't believe Teela could carry the show themselves, so they REALLY lay it on thick with the He-Man nostalgia. It's really no wonder so many people are upset with this bait and switch. Like I said before, it's one thing to withhold information to not spoil your own series. It's another to just lie to people's faces.

And now that we're done with the behind the scenes drama, let's look at the show itself.

So, yeah, as the rumors foretold, it's a show about Teela. Except this isn't really 'Teela'. It's a warped woman forced into the mold of "strong, female character" by people who don't know what the hell that means.

So, yeah, didn't like Teela's portrayal in this show. Her design in episode one, despite my mixed feelings, looks phenomenal. Especially with her hair down. But my problem with her is that she's so self-centered. He-Man dies and she just finds out that Adam was He-Man the entire time, and her first reaction is to not let anyone explain and make it about herself.

The King is grieving, the Queen is sobbing, Man-At-Arms, Orko, and Cringer are distraught, but Teela's initial reaction is to go off. I'd argue it's pretty fair for her to be angry that he kept this secret, but she storms out and is just perpetually blaming Adam.

This is a secret he wanted to tell her and his parents, something you'd know if you watched the original show, but it wasn't just his to tell. It was his burden, but it was a secret that the Sorceress insisted on keeping secret. Her being angry about it isn't the problem, it's that she only thinks about how it effects her. She's just so condescending and this is the hero we're supposed to be rooting for.

And in typical writing for 'Strong, Female Characters', they need to pull down male characters to prop up their female counterparts. And, well, they're kind of bad at it...

Like, they really hammer home a lot of hate for Adam and He-man. He-Man is basically made into a punching bag for the other characters. If Flea-Man isn't the butt of jokes, then he's always getting pushed to the side.

Meanwhile, Man-At-Arms also gets this treatment a bit, but is then written in to quickly pull Teela and co.'s asses out of the fire. It's not quite 'man hate' as it is 'He-Man hate'. And, look, if you wanted to write a story for Masters of the Universe and focus it on Teela, then there were definitely ways to do that and just say He-Man is elsewhere. You shouldn't have to, or want to, tear down old heroes to prop up new ones.

And...I think that's about all my problems with the series. At least, the two problems that really killed my enjoyment of the show. Over all, it's pretty decent. It's not what I was hungry for, at least after episode 1, but for what it is, it's pretty good as a dark and edgy continuation of Masters of The Universe. There's a lot of other stuff I could say, but nothing that really feels worth a critique.

Just a lot of weird choices that someone should've maybe taken a second look at, maybe? Just a lot of disrespect to the old fans, and, I'd dare say disrespect to the new fans they're trying to reel in. It's pandering, plain and simple, but I'd dare say it's good pandering, hence why I don't think this is totally unwatchable.

Also, if they don't fully commit to Teela and Andra being a thing and keep dancing around it until an 11th hour kiss, THEN I'll have something to rant about. Seriously, if they're gay, then have 'em show it. Don't give me this noncommittal body language that you can peddle back on later and say "oh, they're just good friends". I want this is fucking stone. This is already better than Catradora, do NOT blow this!

[inventors-fair]

Rising Action: Commentary

I appreciate your patience, everyone! You've waited long enough, so no further ado!

NOTE: If this week's feedback feels harsher than normal, just remember that this challenge put a lot of restrictions on your designs. The designs this week certainly aren't worse on average, but all the extra restrictions make it easier to pick out individual critiques. So, hard hats on for this week's inspection!

@aethernalstars​ - Regrowth of the Vastwood // Oran-Rief, Reborn

Slot: Vastwood Fortification // Vastwood Thicket. The MDFCs have their own sheet in the set, so they can only really replace each other. Luckily (if expectedly) Green already has a +1/+1 counter DFC to replace, though this is a more powerful enabler for that archetype. This uses Landfall explicitly, but the MDFCs always enable Landfall so that doesn't significantly improve its fit in the set.

Card: Mechanically, this is a pretty neat little callback to Retreat to Kazandu and Murasa Ranger. Narrow cards like this are actually great choices for modal lands, though I suspect the double-gating on this one (only green creatures and requiring a mana cost) is probably a little too narrow for something that appears as often in Limited as this does.

Nitpicks/Templating: The target hiding in the second half of this ability is strange, as you'll actually have to choose that target before you decide whether or not to pay. This would be an opportune place to use a recursive trigger, replacing "If you do" with "When you do", to avoid that weirdness. Also, only the mythic MDFCs got names that sounded legendary; all the others are named like standard nonbasics.

Overall: I agree that Oran-Rief probably deserved more than an Ooze, I'm glad somebody went for it.

--

Allison - Tarrasque, Party Crasher

Slot: Nissa of Shadowed Boughs, probably? Mythic slots are always tight, and this exact color combination is already represented there, so the only real option would be replacing that card for this one. At the very least they both play into the Landfall theme. That said, this actively punishes the Party mechanic, which is generally something you want to avoid when selling the themes of your set.

Card: Cards that rely on your opponents' deck construction to turn on are always a little iffy, as they're generally either great or terrible. Ignoring the parts you can't control though, this is still a huge threat that your opponents will have to answer immediately, and even when they do every land drop will just bring it back. This is probably a little expensive (or unreliable, at least) to see play in Constructed, and basically just 'game over' in Limited.

Nitpicks/Templating: Cost reduction abilities call themselves "this spell" nowadays, and this one would be be awkward to template nonetheless: probably, "This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature in the party of the opponent with the most creatures in their party." Conversely, the Landfall trigger would refer to the card by name. I know, it's a little confusing.

Overall: I don't doubt that the D&D set this summer will feature a Tarrasque, and I suspect the Party mechanic as well. Maybe hold onto this one until then.

--

@dimestoretajic​ - The Last Relic

Slot: Myriad Construct. Colorless rare with kicker has a couple options, though this probably nabs the creature slot among those. This one doesn't support the +1/+1 counter theme as nicely as the Construct does, and I can't think of any other themes it's contributing to.

Card: Independently, this is a fairly reasonable design for a kicker Vehicle. The rate seems a little high for either the Vehicle half or the colorless 7-mana 5/5 evasive finisher, so having a card that can be either is probably well above rate, at least in Limited.

Nitpicks/Templating: You actually don't need a triggered ability for the kick effect: "If CARDNAME was kicked, it's a creature in addition to its other types" works fine.

Overall: I'm assuming this is intended to be a rare capstone to the uncommon Relic cycle, which is honestly a pretty nifty idea.

--

@emmypupcake - Seek Allies

Slot: Murasa Rootgrazer. The only muticolor uncommons in this set are the signpost ones, so this would be competing for space with that. Since the GW theme in this set is Landfall, changing the signpost slot to something that doesn't support that would cause a few issues.

Card: I actually really like what this is doing, though the rate on it is a little unimpressive. Eladamri's Call is cheaper, more flexible, and instant speed; while you don't need to compete with that for power level directly, it probably warrants a change or two to make that comparison less obvious.

Nitpicks/Templating: Looks good.

Overall: I agree that this is definitely the color pair I would expect this effect in, despite the structure of the set. We'll keep our fingers crossed for it in the D&D set this summer.

--

@fractured-infinity​ - Twinspell Mage

Slot: Coralhelm Chronicler, though the design itself is awkwardly similar to Sea Gate Stormcaller. You would likely want to either upshift the rarity to replace Stormcaller, or change the design not to hit so many of the same notes.

Card: You're not the only one to take advantage of the new flexibility of copy effects, though I wouldn't actually expect them to be that prevalent going forward. This probably isn't a totally unreasonable rate for that effect, as it costs extra for both the flexibility with kicker and the higher cost of copying permanent spells, though there's an argument that one more mana on the kicker would still be pretty good.

Nitpicks/Templating: You probably still want a line allowing you to change targets, since this doesn't only target permanent spells - and even permanent spells sometimes have targets.

Overall: I wouldn't be surprised to see something like this printed at some point.

--

@hypexion​ - Inscription of Authority

Slot: Archon of Emeria. There are a few slots in each set just for format regulators, and both of these cards are serving that role. Neither is a great rare to pull in limited, but small evasive creature and awkward inflexible removal are probably on a similar power level, with the Inscription being a slight upgrade for White in the set.

Card: This is mostly just a removal spell with a kicker to get the second two abilities, as you'll rarely spend the card to do the other two. The second ability is pretty awkward to use; you'll have to caste it in the upkeep and hope that it hurts your opponent's plans somehow. Preventing lands from untapping isn't a particularly fun effect, and in Constructed that's often going to be Silence.

Nitpicks/Templating: Those are some unusual effects, but I think you managed to template them accurately. Kudos.

Overall: I can see why they decided finishing the Inscription cycle was so hard.

--

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ - Relic of Resonance

Slot: Lithoform Engine or Forsaken Monument. Mythic Legendary colorless artifact surprisingly has a couple options in this set. Engine feels closest to what this is doing, though this is much narrower than that; Monument is serving a throwback role in the set, so this would be more relevant to the set's themes but would cost it that element. Also consider that downshifting it to rare would allow it to take the place of Throne of Makindi.

Card: I actually really like the idea of this inclusion in the set. My biggest issue with it was just how narrow it was, as kicker is only one theme in the set and colorless cards are best at bridging themes with diverse colors. With a little extra going on, this likely would've been in the winner's circle this week.

Nitpicks/Templating: This wants to specify "spells" rather than "cards", and I'm not sure there's a compelling reason to limit how much you can reduce the kicker cost. "Kicked spells you cast cost {2} less to cast" would achieve the same thing much more concisely.

Overall: I think there's a cool design that fuses this with Lithoform Engine that I would've been really pleased with.

--

@ignorantturtlegaming​ - Tribe of Heroes

Slot: Throne of Makindi, though it's not really straightforward adding multicolor cards like this. The fact that this is the exact same four colors as Omnath, Locus of Creation led me to think that was the slot it would be taking, but they're at different rarities. Having both would mean you need extra Black at at one of those rarities in order to maintain color balance.

Card: I'm not sure why this wasn't five-color, or even non-green - the colors for Party in this set are RB and WU. But then, this isn't actually a Party card: it uses the mechanic, but mostly circumvents what makes the mechanic interesting to play with: you don't even need to run other creatures in your deck for this to work. This plays into the flavour space of Party, but mechanically it isn't really supporting what that Party does for the set.

Nitpicks/Templating: You could probably get away with just listing the relevant types when creating the token, but the template you went with allows the token to be printed accurately. I think yours was probably the correct choice.

Overall: The mice are super cute. I don't totally get it, but you don’t need an excuse for cuteness.

--

@illharg-the-rave-boar​ - Master of Possibilities

Slot: Jace, Mirror Mage. Mythic slots are tight, and maintaining a (rough) balance of colors means yanking the one mono-Blue mythic already in. The result is less kicker support and more Wizards Party support, though at mythic they weren't contributing much to as-fan anyway. Somewhere in the midst of commentary, I lost track of how many mythics there were in the set: mono-Blue has two, and Sea Gate Stormcaller is definitely a more direct comparison for this card, as it plays into the Wizards and instant/sorcery themes in a similar way.

Card: My biggest issue with this design is how often the trigger just won't do anything - there are zero Wizards with Flash in Zendikar Rising, so Wizards and sorceries will generally trigger this for no benefit - especially in the Wizard tribal deck you would typically want to play this in. The idea is kinda clever, but the execution just doesn't really deliver on how cool the idea is.

Nitpicks/Templating: We've never seen a target self-replacement in a triggered ability like this, and I'm not convinced it works. Normally the ability wouldn't check your party size until resolution, but targets need to be chosen when the ability is put onto the stack. The template probably looks familiar because it's used on spells with things that are chosen before targets (like X values or kicker). This may be as simple as a rules update to cover it, but I'm not convinced there aren't other repercussions.

Overall: I feel like your Sphinx looks more like a typical Zendikari Sphinx than the one that did make it into the set.

--

@kavinika​ - Spear of Radiance

Slot: Akiri, Fearless Voyager. There's a cycle of ten rare two-color legends, so any multicolor rare would require breaking that up. Mechanically, this plays in some similar space to Akiri, with each providing one of the 'halves' of a Warrior/Equipment deck. Both offer protection and incentives for equipping, though this does so in a much narrower way.

Card: The most interesting part of the design is definitely the protection effect, which is an interesting take on what Akiri was doing and a fairly unusual approach for Equipment. If I had one qualm, I think I'd rather see the bonuses reversed: the untap effect does neat things with several non-Warriors in the set, and there aren't really any Warriors that can maximise it.

Nitpicks/Templating: You're missing a comma between your trigger and your effect (between "battlefield" and "attach"), and the condition in the activated ability should read "it's" rather than "it is". Both very minor quibbles.

Overall: I agree that that art would look very at home on Innistrad.

--

@mardu-lesbian​ - Tuktuk, the Ever-Returning

Slot: Crawling Barrens, probably. That's the closest we've got in colorless, at rare, and that synergises with Landfall. Losing the one creature land in the set feels like a big loss, but gaining a familiar legendary creature has its own advantages. Both are resilient threats that make drawing lands late in the game not feel so bad, so functionally the resulting formats probably look similar.

Card: Based on what I saw in the Discord, I believe your intent was for this to trigger from both your graveyard and the battlefield, so we'll assume that's how it works. Turning every land you draw into two tokens is pretty powerful - that's about on par with the first mode of Felidar Retreat, except this one can't be removed and sometimes doesn't cost mana. There are no good ways in Limited to permanently remove this card, and the Mill/Rogues draft archetype likely just can't win games where this is a factor. Outside of Limited, this is much more likely to exist in multiples and more likely to be free through self-mill, which sounds like a very, very powerful effect that would likely warp the Standard environment around itself.

Nitpicks/Templating: As implied above, as written this ability only works from the graveyard. Making an ability work from multiple zones requires stating so explicitly, and you generally don't want to do so with abilities that don't make equal sense in both zones. This would be a tough one to make work, though perhaps there's a clever template that I'm just overlooking.

Overall: I would've been really pleased to see more of Tuktuk.

--

@misterstingyjack​ - Roil Watcher

Slot: Tajuru Paragon. None of the other Green rares lean into the Party mechanic at all, so the committed member of the vertical cycle of multiclass creatures is the best bet. This trades out Kicker and additional Party synergies for (big) Landfall synergies, as well as synergy with MDFCs - this sounds pretty even, but because Kicker and Party both need the extra support in order to be playable themes, trading their support for themes that need it less might be a risky exchange.

Card: This is a neat way to interact with MDFCs and to turn on Landfall in the decks that want that - getting up to four additional triggers in a turn can be gamebreaking, but isn't always and the card doesn't feel overpowered at all. It has a similar feel to Nahiri's Lithoforming, leading me to believe it's probably an effect the Landfall decks really want.

Nitpicks/Templating: Effects that return your own lands generally don't target, and didn't in Zendikar Rising. As a general rule I would avoid targeting on anything unless making those choices before resolution actually leads to better gameplay, and opponents will rarely be able to interact with your lands at instant speed to make it matter here.

Overall: This one showed a really good grasp of the themes of the set. Kudos.

--

@nine-effing-hells​ - Total Party Kill

Slot: Shadow's Verdict, the Black rare sweeper for this set. Total Party Kill is definitely more aware of the set's themes, though it falls into the trap (pun intended?) of punishing what the rest of the set is trying to encourage. Party isn't something that works naturally in every set, so a lot of design work goes into making it as reliable as possible in Zendikar Rising. As such, we can't really afford to spend slots actively making it harder.

Card: That said, the card is a really clever idea. One thing to note for the design: sets with Kicker generally have a lot fewer modal spells, because those operate in very similar spaces. It might've been worth a couple extra passes to see if there was a Kicker version of the effect you'd be happy with.

Nitpicks/Templating: It's an unusual template, but probably the correct one for the effect.

Overall: This beat out two different Bruse Tarls and a whole party of mouses for Card That Made Me Chuckle the Most. That's gotta count for something.

--

@reaperfromtheabyss​ - Akoum Magnamancy

Slot: Nahiri's Lithoforming. This is doing something pretty different from Lithoforming, but noncreature rare slots in Red are slim. Both do a bit to enable Landfall, while this also reaches into Kicker and party space. That said, I worry it may have stretched itself too thin - I'm not sure any of those archetypes really want a card that requires so many pieces to optimise.

Card: There's a lot going on here, and even I'm struggling to come up with all the different permutations. It has four different modes (kicked and unkicked, and with and without party), up to two possible targets, and interacts with several different themes. It's definitely an ambitious design and it's certainly interesting, but it's hard to gauge, likely hard to use, and especially hard to maximise: which just means it will often prove less satisfying to play than to read.

Nitpicks/Templating: The last effect wants to be first, as a cast trigger: "When you cast this spell, if you have a full party, copy it. You may choose new targets for the copy." As written, this is part of the spell's effect, and the copy still 'knows' that you had a full party as you cast the original, causing it to copy itself ad infinitum. Probably not intended.

Overall: Magnamancy has been a really fun word to roll around in my mouth. Moreso than actual magma, I assume.

--

@shakesz - Kesenya, Sea Gate Head

Slot: Omnath, Locus of Creation. Mythic slots are always tight, and multicolor mythic slots are even tighter. There's a color balance between the planeswalkers in the set, leaving only the colorless mythics and Omnath easily replaceable. Dropping Omnath for Kesenya means less landfall and more Party support, though mythics aren't really all that relevant to Limited anyway.

Card: I was expecting to see some designs that stretched the limits on Party, and this wound up being the only one exploring that space. That said, I expected to see it turned up to five; potentially doubling the size is a much larger boost. The tap ability is a bit snowbally, as it does essentially nothing on its own but does a lot on a crowded board. That said, the card is not individually powerful.

Nitpicks/Templating: The elephant in the party room is that Party doesn’t work that way - “party” returns a numerical value, it’s not actually a way for grouping creatures on the battlefield. The first ability almost works, though as written it’s not absolutely clear that “of each type” refers to party types and not...well, each type.

Overall: You’ve definitely succeeded in piquing my interest in the character, so that’s a win.

--

@starch255​ - Zulaport Subjugator

Slot: Nullpriest of Oblivion is the closest thing, mechanically. And it’s when we look at the set this way that we see the obstacles they were facing with making Party work: adding more Warriors largely meant axing other Clerics, or Rogues. Skyclave Shade is the one rare Black creature without a party type, but that design is supporting +1/+1 counters, Kicker, and Landfall - replacing it just to get a small increase in Warrior as-fan would probably cost the set more than it gained.

Card: The design seems individually solid, and rather powerful.

Nitpicks/Templating: Looks sound.

Overall: I agree that Standard could use more Black Warriors to make Party come together, but we may have to wait for Kaldheim for it.

--

@socialpoison​ - The Lithoform Core // The Murasa Skyclave

Slot: Emeria’s Call // Emeria, Shattered Skyclave. There’s exactly one slot for a mythic White DFC in the set, so adding this requires breaking the bolt land cycle. I’m inclined to think that’s not worth it. Attaching the land’s tap condition to your party seems clever, but lands coming in untapped is almost always most important on early turns and that’s especially true for the decks that will rely on curving out into 4 different party members.

Card: This overlaps unfortunately with Ondu Inversion at a lower rarity, though this is effectively an instant speed sweeper. In addition to punishing your opponent for committing to the board, it punishes them for things like...playing lands, and tapping them for mana. At seven mana I can’t imagine it being a very effective hoser for the things it’s trying to stop, which is probably for the best because I can’t imagine the format where this sees lots of play would be very fun.

Nitpicks/Templating: Legendary lands are still a thing they try to avoid. Having another side does ease some of those issues, but it’s still probably best practice just to let people play their lands - especially if that land is just a bad Plains.

Overall: The callout to Lithoform Blight is pretty sweet, I have to admit. 

--

@thedirtside - Refreshing Breeze

Slot: Lotus Cobra. This is ramp that helps enable Landfall, so the rare Green ramp/Landfall card seems like the clear cut for it. This interacts interestingly with the large amounts of incidental mill in this set, providing you a way to ramp when you do happen to wind up with lands in your graveyard. Unfortunately, there are many ways to enable it yourself, which leaves it slightly lacking.

Card: I’m a sucker for a good ramp spell, and this one is very cleverly done. In formats with fetchlands it is a much better Birds of Paradise, since lands are much more dependable ramp than creatures. In Standard it’s interesting, because it’s one-mana ramp that almost never works on turn one on the play, which is when one-mana ramp is most powerful (and most dangerous).

Nitpicks/Templating: This would be a much better fit for the set if it let you play an additional land from your graveyard - the most reliable way to get lands in your graveyard in this set is on the back of an MDFC, but unfortunately as written this ability does not work with those.

Overall: I’m a big fan of the simplicity of this design, though I can’t help but wonder if there was room for a small Kicker effect to round it out.

--

@wolkemesser​ - Bruse Tarl, Bull-Headed

Slot: Akiri, Fearless Voyager. This successfully fits into the ten-card cycle of rare two-color legendary creatures, so kudos on that. It has a kicker effect and is a Warrior to support Party, but its Landfall ability actively discourages you playing with the themes of the set.

Card: I think you must have underestimated how powerful a 3/4 double strike, lifelink for two mana actually is - thanks to his Landfall ability, he would serve as the top-end for a deck that only ever wants two lands on the battlefield, and seeks to end the game by turn 3 or 4. I can’t imagine the kicked ability coming up very often, because random Ox tokens are generally worth so much less than an hyper-efficient creature like this.

Nitpicks/Templating: Looks like you forgot to tell us what color the Ox tokens should be. White, I’m guessing.

Overall: I suspect this was intended as a Commander card, but since this challenge was for a Standard-legal set I have to keep that in mind. The idea is neat though, and I love how it makes Bruse and his Oxen adversaries. 

--

Thanks again for your patience in getting this commentary out this week. This challenge was a little smaller than our weekly average has been, but I received enough positive feedback that I'll probably still try to make it a recurring feature. I appreciate everyone that took the time to join my little experiment this week!

~Mod [ @3smuth ]

[hettiesworld]

Kids

Pairing: Mark "Dags" D'Agastino x OFC (Bethany)

Plot summary: When Bethany is assigned as Class President of Fairmount High School, she gets bullied quite a lot. But for Dags, the local troublemaker, he has a bit of a crush on Bethany and visa versa.  But they can’t confess to each other. But after the school trip to Washington D.C (and getting partnered with her) and saving the group from getting plunged into a lake in the school bus, he manages to get a soft and passionate kiss from Bethany.

Author’s note: This is for my 30 Days of Jeremy challenge and I think Dags from Senior Trip is SO underrated, like Evans’s character, Jake Wyler. Why not? The faceclaim for Bethany is Scarlett Johansson.

Warning(s): Strong language, mentions of sexual content, fluff.

Word count: 1242 words

“And the winner for the position of Class President is…” Principal Moss was announcing the results of this year’s class president election as well as other important news over the tannoy system.

“...Bethany Foster!” 

Bethany was in the hallway at recess when the announcements were being made. To be honest, she was embarrassed when Moss decided to say it in front of many of the students in the school.

Last week, Bethany’s official welcome was over in a flash. The principal wore his standard greeting smile, but it never extended to his eyes, as if his mind was off on some other important task while he ticked me off his to-do list. Students move around the hallways in gossiping throngs. Everyone knows everyone. The map that hung so limply in her hand will soon fall apart along the fold lines and still this place was like a maze to her.

But then, she met Dags. 

Well, Mark was his real name, but she definitely preferred Dags.

It was weird at first but every day she fell in love with the idea of falling in love. It was unpredictable and crazy but she loved it.

A crush is nothing more than a lust for someone. That does change anything in her eyes. He is still always there in her mind. Everyday when she see him, that is it. She is thinking about him for the entire day. When their eyes lock, his eyes burn hers like she has been staring at the sun for too long. He is my crush, but he will never be mine. That much she already knows.

But much to Beth’s disappointment, Dags felt the same way.

The next day in Math, that’s when the bullying happened. Dags walked in the classroom, late as usual, with downcast eyes and his thick bangs almost reached his shoulders. Bethany had spent the morning rehearsing scenarios she knew would never happen, but regardless of the futility she did it from waking right up until class. Then she sat trying to control her breathing and prevent her face from turning beet red; but the breaths came quicker and her cheeks warmed regardless. 

"Psssst, Bethany, I hear Ken likes you."

It was Reggie, the wannabe troublemaker who chewed gum and wore ripped jeans. Reggie leaned forward on his desk and used a straw to spit out a spitball to the Math teacher, still chewing his gum professionally. Then he sat back and glanced around the room to bask in the grins of his classmates. He was the king.

And of course, he was talking about Dags.

During group work, Dags and Barry Kremmer were talking about one of the students, Meg Smith. 

“What about Meg?” Barry asked Dags.

“Meg’s gay.” Dags replied. Bethany, who was in front of them, rolled her eyes. Yeah right. Meg Smith is gay? Well, if she was, who was Beth to judge her?

“Well if anyone can change her, it's you.” Barry admitted to Dags, pointing towards Meg and then doing the gesture of sex behind his back as Dags was looking at Meg.

Bethany looked back to see Barry doing that to Dags. She whispered to Barry, “You better stop that before Dags sees you. You’re just childish.”

---------------------

In a later lesson, which was English, Dags was chatting up Lisa Perkins, the goody-two-shoes (just like Bethany, but more goody than her).

“Lisa. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…” Dags kept badgering Lisa with her name. Lisa got fed with him and looked around to face him.

“What?”

“Wanna cut and go to a party?” Questioned Dags, who was chewing gum that Reggie gave him at lunch.

“Huh.” Lisa turned back and tried to ignore Dags, but he was very persuasive.

“Come on! I know you like me.” Dags smirked at her, still chewing his gum, his left earring showing. Bethany was watching the scene unfold from the back of the classroom, the teacher not even giving a fuck.

“Would you just leave me alone?” Lisa snapped at him, teeth gritted. Her book was now a mess, filled with an angry doodle over her English research. She looked back quickly and sighed.

“I am concerned about you, Lisa. One day, you're gonna wake up and realise that you wasted all of your high school years studying.”

“And you're gonna wake up one day and realise that you're a loser!” Lisa stormed out of the classroom as soon as the final bell went for hometime. Not before she ripped out her ruined research paper and threw it into the bin.

Bethany saw Dag’s smile turn into a frown. She wished she could do something but she was too shy. So she just packed up her bag and walked out of the classroom.

-------------------------

The next day, Principal Moss makes the announcement over them being invited by the US President, who amazingly enjoyed their letter, to Washington D.C. to discuss it. And the students were all put into pairs for safety, of course.

“Meg Smith and Barry Kemmer… Carla Morgan and Travis Linsday...  Reggie Barry and Lisa Perkins…” 

Bethany was hoping that she wasn’t put with…

“Bethany Foster and Mark D’Agastino.”

Oh no.

-----------------------

After a wild and adventurous trip to Washington D.C and Dags saving everyone from the school bus from getting plunged into a lake, both him and Bethany were on a balcony, at the school, talking.

“Thank you for saving us.” Bethany proclaimed, leaning against the balcony and looking at the view.

“It was no problem.” Dags replied, who smiled back at Bethany. 

“You gotta stop the drinking though. And the troublemaking. Seriously. It’s not a good look on you.” Bethany critiqued him, suddenly looking at him, swishing her red hair in the process.

Dags just laughed.

After a moment’s silence, Bethany decided to tell him.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Sure, what?”

“Since when did you have a crush on me? And don’t say you didn’t cause’ Reggie told me.”

“Shit.” Dags blushed and cleared his throat. “It was when you first came into school. In Math. With that fiery red hair I love. And those bright, beautiful and crystalline eyes. Those big blue eyes…”

Bethany blushed as she realised that Dags did like her back, just like Reggie said to her.

“There’s another thing, actually.”

“Go ahead.”

“Well, I've been thinking about this and... I don't want to go to college as a virgin.” Bethany blushed at what she just said and she was worried about what Dags was going to reply with.

“Oh.” 

Oh? That’s what his response was?

Then Dags realised what she said.

“Oh!” Dags blurted out and smiled at her.

“I mean… if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I mean-”

"Sh." He hushed her, before moving his finger, and pressing his hand against her cheek, giving him more support to push himself towards her, and connected their lips. His lips were firm against hers, but the kiss remained soft, gentle, slow. They held it for a few seconds, before their lips began to move in perfect sync, slowly. 

He exhaled through his nose, not wanting to let go. Her entire body had been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of relief, combined with eccentric panic, and lust. He moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her long, dark red hair, lightly pulling her into him, adding more pressure to their lips, deepening the kiss.

Tags:

@optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ @yavanna80​ @dreamlesswonder86​ @archerybitch68​ @ilovebrandt​ @sarabeth72​ @carissime72​ @jtargaryen18​ @fizzytaurus​ @axelwolf8109​ @shadow16350​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​

[hrtiu]

Weird Writing Questions:

18, 27, 35

Hi! Thanks for the ask! Questions are from this post.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Zongbao moved to help her up again, and Guiying took his hand, pulling herself close to him.

“I let you win,” she hissed only inches from his face, her eyes narrowed to slits.

He let out an infuriating chuckle and hauled her to her feet in one swift motion, pulling her flush to his bare chest. Guiying’s face heated under the titters and jeers of the crowd, her frustration rising how much his presence affected her when he seemed completely unmoved.

“Oh, Guiying” he whispered in her ear, his breath hot and his voice dripping with confidence. “There’s more than one way to win a fight.”

This passage is from the original novel I'm working on, A Blade So Thin and Keen. I originally wrote this scene a while ago, and just finished re-editing it. The backstory to the scene is that Guiying captured Zongbao right after she met him, then fell in love with him and asked her to marry him. Zongbao decided to play along with her spur-of-the-moment proposal because he needed to get out of her clutches (and for some other plot reasons), and when Guiying found out that he lied to her she was devastated and angry. For other plot reasons, they currently have to pretend to still be happily betrothed. At this point in the story they have reached a grudging peace. They just had a spear match in front of a bunch of people, and Zongbao acted all nervous and worried, causing Guiying to decide to throw the fight.

Wow sorry it took a long time to get the backstory of this snippet! Anyway I picked it because I think this re-edit was a huge improvement over the first iteration. The first iteration had a much less dynamic and interesting ending and also didn't really have any sexual tension. I think the buildup to the match and why they're fighting in the first place was a lot less believable. It feels good when you're editing and you think you actually made a big improvement! So often it can feel like you either nail something the first time or it's never going to be quite right.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmm... I don't think anyone has really been stressful? Even when a character is making really dubious decisions it's not stressful to write them. It's more fun to watch them suffer haha! I think what's most stressful is when I'm writing about a sensitive situation and I'm worried that it may not hit the audience the right way. An example of this would be when I was writing Children of the Republic, and I wrote about Ahsoka's original reluctance to having children, and her eventual decision that she wanted children. That's such a personal and sensitive issue that I worried I wouldn't approach it right and tat it could be upsetting for some readers.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

I once had a professional author critique my work, and while I have followed almost all of her advice (to the great improvement of my work), I just couldn't take her instruction to never use italics. I love my italics. I put them everywhere. You can pry italics from my cold, dead hands.

[kingsofchaos]

What do you think it would be like of the fakes got arrested (probably at different times cause they are better than that) and got psych evaluations. The police would probably get even more of an realization that they are freakin monsters. (If you could somehow maybe put freewood in that would make me very happy, but you don't have to if you don't want) ALSO I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!

THANKS FRIEND! That makes me feel way worse for what i’m about to do but apologies i’m not super comfortable playing around with psychological evaluations, sorry to disappoint! In lieu i offer you a bit of a more generic, though infinitely more melodramatic, insight into that one time the cops got their hands on Ryan and Gavin then instantly wished they hadn’t. 

To get the Vagabond and Free in custody, to not only pin them down but catch them without killing them in the process, is more or less a goddamn miracle and everybody knew it. There’s a weird energy amongst the LSPD officers, half smug pride at the triumph, half quiet terror at what comes next.The entire journey back to the station is fraught with tension, the completely legitimate fear that the Fake AH Crew may come for their own keeping everyone on high alert. It doesn’t help that despite the fact that there’s no way it could be possible Free and the Vagabond are acting like getting arrested was their intention, like everything is going according to plan. As relaxed as two handcuffed men surrounded by armed officers can possibly be they’ve ignored all demands to shut their mouths in favour of critiquing how well they think everything has been going so far.Ryan asks for the time any chance he gets, responding to each update with a pleased grin so unsettling that officers begin to refuse to answer. In response Ryan has taken to humming a quiet tick tock tick tock tick tock under his breath while he stares them down.The less said about the transfer between van and station the better. Six officers swarm around the Vagabond while only one moves to escort Free, a choice that leaves Ryan shaking his head in utter disbelief and Gavin smirking away like the cat who caught the canary. He leers all over his increasingly uncomfortable guard while Ryan is yanked roughly to his feet and pushed out of the van, followed moments later by a grunt and a scream as Ryan is tazed without provocation and Gavin’s new friend loses a chunk of his arm to that sharp grin. It’s a traumatising experience across the board.By the time Ryan’s head clears they’ve already dragged him into the station, frogmarching him towards an intake room, with Gavin somewhere behind him making lewd comments about the muzzle he’s apparently been threatened with. Shifting to take his own weight has all the officers around Ryan stiffening, but all he does is ask for the time, chortling to himself at the way it makes them flinch.The weapons pat-down is rough. Even the cops know Gavin’s not really in the hands-on half of the crew, aren’t expecting much more than maybe a knife or two, certainly aren’t expecting the arsenal they uncover. Gavin has knives in his pant pockets and shirt pockets and jacket pockets, he has knives in his belt, tucked into his shoe, sewn into linings. There’s so many knives the officers quickly roll from smug superiority into increasing alarm; it borders on comical, on intentional, and Free’s careless grin only grows.  Ryan though, god. On Ryan they find nothing, not a gun, not a knife, not even wire or nail-file; absolutely nothing. It should be a relief but it isn’t, how can it be when there’s no way the Vagabond is actually unarmed? When history has taught them that they surely must have missed something. Ryan bears the increasingly frustrated search with exaggerated compliancy, lips twitching in amusement as Gavin sniggers beside him, the mercenary entirely unresisting yet still exuding an insufferable degree of cheerful insolence.When one man tries to get a rise out of him by sneering out some less than savoury comments about Gavin and his prison prospects the whole room holds its breath, bracing for a sudden act of unstoppable violence, but it doesn’t come. Instead, after a long tense moment of Ryan staring the man directly in the eye, it’s Gavin who breaks the silence, shaking his head and looking far too pleased as he shrugs and sends chills down spines with a cavalier ‘Well that was rude. I do hope your affairs are in order, this one’s really rather overprotective.’ The extended weapons frisk is declared over rather quickly after that.The pair are placed in cells on opposite ends of the station’s holding bay; with walls and doors between them there is absolutely no way legible sound could possible travel between the two. To the disturbed awe of an increasing crowd of officers watching and listening over the cctv the pair proceeded to have a complete conversation at normal talking volume anyway; speaking and responding as though they can hear one another, with appropriate pauses and logical replies, never acknowledging that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s alarming enough that they are frisked again on their way to separate interrogation rooms but no hidden transmitters are found and no one has any idea how on earth they were doing it.You don’t go into an interrogation room armed, that’s just police policy 101, but particular precautions are certainly made for members of the FAHC. Ryan is just about as chained as he could be, handcuffs locked to the table, leg cuffs chained to the floor, and still, as long as there are detectives in the room with him two heavily armed guards will wait just outside the door for the first sign of trouble. On the flipside Gavin, whose teeth are still stained red, bears only handcuffs and a delighted grin. There are no armed guards, the detectives have no fear about leaning into his space, but after the first few are left shell-shocked with their personal secrets dragged into the light there is a serious discussion about getting the LSPD’s in-house psychologist on standby.For the first half of Ryan’s interrogation he says nothing at all. The detectives, all over the moon about finally nabbing the Vagabond, all desperate to show they’re the one who can crack him, throw just about every interrogation trick in the book at him and Ryan just watches on calm as you please, only moving to look up at the clock on the wall. When at last he does open his mouth the relief is short-lived; carefully meandering around confessions Ryan talks in hypotheticals and television plotlines, discussing supposedly fictional violence in such vivid detail his interviewers start looking a little green. It’s quite a talent, to balance technical innocence with an undercurrent of undeniably remorseless responsibility, all while casually discussing the fascinating sounds humans make when they are pulled apart.  In another room Gavin slouches in his metal chair like it’s a throne, like the worst kind of entitled, like the grown-up version of the trust-fund baby sneering at the principle’s threat of discipline, utterly untouchable and he knows it. All grinning swagger Gavin asks the detectives if they’ve thought this through, if they know what they’re doing, how they think it’s going to end. He asks if they haven’t heard all those terrible rumours people have spread about his family, shares a few of his favourites, the darkest and most deplorable things people have said about the Vagabond. Isn’t it funny? Could you even imagine if the stories were true? If that was the kind of man you’d captured? Can you picture what he would do to you when he got free? And that’s saying nothing of Ramsey, have you heard what they say he’s done for his family? What he’d do for his son? Chilling stuff that, terrifying. Especially for someone like you, with kids at home. Someone who’d just gotten married, who has reliant parents, who’s sister’s about to have that baby. Wouldn’t it be awful huh? Aren’t you glad they’re only stories.It’s late by the time the detectives give up for the night, but there is an undeniable sense of relief in locking those two away again, in washing hands of those horrors for a couple of hours, going home to hug loved ones close and stave off technicolour nightmares. To kick things off at midnight is appallingly cliché, but things kick off a midnight. The station is never empty, particularly not when it’s housing criminals this high profile, but at midnight everything goes quiet. Still. Just long enough for every officer’s well-honed instincts to start blaring in alarm. And then the screaming starts.When the bigwigs try to piece it all together later even frantic reviews of security footage won’t reveal what happened. They see Gavin’s cell suddenly go dark, and when the light returns he’s gone. Changing angles there’s a flash of him wandering down the hall, utterly unhurried and blowing a winking kiss at the camera before it flickers out. When they find him again it’s on the camera outside the Vagabond’s cell, leaning through the bars and chattering away to the Mercenary looming on the other side as calmly as you please, like they’re playing instead of launching an escape.Free’s in no rush, waiting for his crew-mate to grab his collar and yank him into the bars before he laughs and shakes his way free, finally trotting over to unlock the door, unleashing the Vagabond into the hall. As Gavin turns to answer the phone he shouldn’t have the Vagabond looks up, directly at the lens, shaking his head as he points to an imaginary watch before flipping off the camera just before it, too, goes dark.From there the LSPD have only witness accounts to work with, tales from those who survived and those who came in after; the ones who saw the cavalcade of big black cars pulling up in front of the station just before everything went to hell, who didn’t have the chance to raise the alarm before the FAHC were raining bullets down on them. Those who had to clean blood from linoleum, tape up shattered windows, carry bodies to the morgue. Those who can no long bear the sound of clocks ticking, who swear they can still hear the echoes of that monstrous laughter. The ones who witnessed death slinking through the station in a leather jacket and designer jeans, who observed the birth of Los Santos’ newest horrifying rumour firsthand.