#i feel unhinged posting this 😭😭😭

[woozivrsefactry]

★ . ꜝꜞ ⛸️ weird things the seventeen members WILL do in bed.

Seungcheol : babies up the second sex is done. Strong macho boyfriend GONEEEE he just a baby who needs cuddles for being so good.

Jeonghan : will say the most unhinged things midsex like he'd be balls deep in you and then he's wondering out loud "how do blind people know when to stop wiping?"

Joshua : polite in bed for no reason. Said excuse me while opening your legs once. Sir disrespect. Please.

Junhui : brother does not know how to dirty talk for the love of god 😭 he'd try but the next moment it feels like he's narrating some national geography episode "and there we see the needy woman gasping for air on my cock."

Hoshi : bit you once. Not sexily. A whole fucking chomp on your shoulder. Told you his tiger instincts make him go wild sometimes. Neither the shape of his teeth from your shoulder nor the second hand embarassment of what he said next hfs left you yet.

Wonwoo : you called him daddy once. Lectures a whole damn ted talk about Freud while you were getting thru the post-orgasmic bliss.

Jihoon : he's so good at sex you wonder how many bitches he'd been fucking before you. Turns out he copies his moves from hentai. HENTAI. That cock-attack just now? It was inspired from a tentacles film he saw but alas he ain't got no tentacles.

Dokyeom : giggles while fucking you. Not moaning. Just happy ass giggles. Like this is a silly picnic date and not him wrecking you away on his cock.

Mingyu : seriously has no idea of his own strength. Like seriously. Once he threw you on bed thinking its like so hot and you ended up bouncing twice and falling off the otherside.

Minghao : mf judges your pose postures. Not corrects. Judges. "Tch, you're gonna arch your back like that?" Like sir can I have my sexy moment 😭

Seungkwan : will go nights fucking you with his mouth shut zero moans zero talking just fucking you your moans awkwardly the only sound in the room all because he's on vocal rest and that ain't stopping him from fucking you.

Vernon : deadass calls his cock lil' vernon. Like a serious nickname. genuinely tries to get you pussy have a nickname so he can say "lil vernie and lil (yn) are gonna have playdate tonight" because plain old "let's fuck" is for amateurs.

Chan : he tried calling you mommy in bed once. In a sexy way. What he said out loud was "eomma" like actually mom. Not cool chan.

[skitskatdacat63]

Google, play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails

[kindahoping4forever]

Luke IG Story

[coulsons-left-arm]

You remember that "fathers finding their kids as babies," post I made of Coulson and Daisy the other day?

Yeah, I'm dropping the fic here since people aren't seeing it in my reblog (I'm so sorry about that 💀😭).

So here's a subpar 1.4k of Coulson and May finding the 084 (aka Daisy) back in 1989. 🫶🏻

Coulson and May are called in for a level 8 classified op even though they're entry level agents. It's all hands on deck for this one, so they're a little nervous, but May is holding it in well while Coulson is tryna be extra goofy (that's how she knows he's nervous).

Boots on the ground, and it's an absolute massacre. Many SHIELD agents look like they've been torn to shreds, and it's hard to look at, but they assess all but one are dead. Coulson leans closer to an agent who's last breath was used to "Find the squad leader." He closes the eyes of the dead and hopes and prays they can get at least one of their men out alive.

May happens upon the squad leader propped up under a bridge, covered in blood... But he's holding something? She looks closer to find something bundled up in a piece of bloodied fabric... And it's a baby... Fast asleep by the looks of it.

Gunfire behind them starts to pop off. They have to act fast. May grabs the baby and holds it close to her chest, staying low and trying to soften her steps to avoid any jostling of the little one. Coulson was able to fireman carry the squad leader's body back to the jet right before the ramp closed. It was close, but the agents and baby made it out unscathed.

Coulson leaves the squad leader's body with one of the spare agents, giving a moment to honor his sacrifice, before heading over to May who was still holding the baby. She's covered in blood which was hard to look at, but her features were cute, juxtaposing the sight. Coulson runs a finger along her cheek, wiping some of the blood off her and earning a tiny, content yawn.

It wasn't too terribly long before they landed, immediately greeted by scientists and a doctor who removed the child from May's arms. The baby began to cry, and the two agents felt a pang in their stomach. They had to trust that they would take care of the little one.

~~~~~

It had been three hours with no word from the analysis department. Coulson couldn't take it, so he marched down there and was greeted by some upset scientists at his presence. He didn't have high enough clearance level to know what was going on, but he could hear the high pitched cries just beyond the doors. He fought his way through the twiggy researchers, and was met with a horrifying sight.

They *did* clean her off, but they had kept her all but naked and on a hard surface like a specimen... Which she was far from being. Multiple vials of blood samples were nearby and he almost absolutely *lost it* on a nearby white coat. He ran through the grasping arms trying to stop him, but he was able to snatch the protesting baby up and hug her close to his chest. Cradling her, her cries were beginning to wane while scientists were flapping their gums about "unknown origins" and "possible contaminates." But it didn't matter.

They were treating a *baby* like a *lab rat*, poking and proding the poor thing.

May reached the lab, all eyes on her and giving way. The analysts knew better than to mess with someone who graduated from Ops. She walked over to Coulson, standing her ground and signalling over the doctor. She demanded he find "something to cover the baby." From the bunching of his shirt collar in her fist, he read her loud and clear and retrieved a diaper and a fuzzy blanket. Although he never had any experience, Coulson's confidence carried him through cladding the baby in the diaper, and returned her to his grip, laying the blanket over her back and over the top of her head. He could feel a little spot of drool forming on his chest through his PT shirt, but he didn't mind. Her little body wasn't squirming and her breaths came easy with a couple hiccups dappled in for good measure. He swayed side to side as May almost took out one of the scientists who dared to inch closer and asked if she had eaten at all since they took her.

Of course not...

But formula was quickly retrieved from *somewhere* (honestly, did SHIELD just keep baby stuff on base? And what for??? Was it normal for babies to show up on their doorstep???? If so, Coulson wasn't taught about any of this in his training...), along with a bottle and a pacifier.

May singlehandedly scared all of the analysts outside the lab, including the heartless doctor, and locked them out. They found the light switch and dimmed it for the baby. Who knows how long they kept poking and proding her. They snuck out the back entrance with her, finding a way to Coulson's bunk since May was currently sharing hers with another junior agent. They had snatched the Bunsen burner from the lab, and May snuck out and snatched a pan and a few bottles of water from the mess hall. She noted a silent alarm had been activated and kept to the shadows, avoiding cameras to get back to Coulson's room.

She was met with an evergrowing fussy baby in Coulson's arms as he was trying to keep her calm and soothed by gently speaking sweet nothings over her head as he sat on the edge of his bed. They both made quick work with the formula, getting the bottle to a warmer temperature they thought might be right. Neither of them knew *exactly* what they were doing or how to do it, but it sure was better than the treatment the scientists were putting the baby through.

Coulson shifted the baby from his shoulder to the crook of his elbow, and grabbed the heated bottle as the baby's cries were coming to a crescendo. Guiding the nipple into her mouth, she ceased her racket, and began frantically sucking while looking up at him with wet, red rimmed eyes. He couldn't help but swipe away some of the wet tears coating her chubby cheeks, smiling softly at her.

"Is that what you wanted?" He cooed over the light sucking sounds. "Does it taste okay? It's our first time making this stuff, so it's probably not five star worthy. Sorry about that."

It must've not been too bad since she consumed almost the whole bottle, her sucking coming to a slow as her eyes began to droop.

But aren't you supposed to burp babies after they eat? That was a thing, right? As much as he didn't want to disturb her entering a slumber, Coulson set the bottle down and propped her back up to his shoulder, patting her back. It didn't take long before he felt a warm sensation drip down the back of his shirt.

"She spit up, didn't she?" May nodded her head, looking towards his dresser drawers. "Second drawer from the top. Don't care which one.... As long as it's not my Cap shirt. Don't want her messing up that one." He received a scoff as he settled the baby in between his closed thighs, carefully pulling off his dirtied shirt. He twisted behind him to reveal nothing got on his sheets, a sigh of relief eacaping his chest. But the baby began whimpering, so he didn't wait for May to throw a shirt at him before picking up the (once again) fussy baby and cradling her close to his bare chest. She seemed to immediately quiet at the contact. Maybe it was the heat from his bare skin on hers? Maybe she could hear his heart thumping in his chest? Maybe... Maybe she just *liked* him??? Yes, it was a silly thought, but Coulson knew a lot of people liked him, whether it was someone he met out in the street, or a fellow junior at the academy. Maybe he had a similar effect on babies?

He snapped out of his silly thoughts when a lump of fabric hit his side, seeing an olive green t shirt sitting at his side.

"Thanks, May... But I don't know if I want to put that on quite yet. Look," he said as he twisted his torso in her direction. She peered over at the bundle against his chest, Coulson possibly seeing the tiniest sparkle in her eye. Completely forgetting to close his dresser drawer, she slowly padded over and sat down next to him on the bed, eyes trained on the little one who's breaths were lightly puffing against Coulson's chest hairs. She reached a finger towards one of the tiny balled up fists, her breath slightly hitching when it uncurled and grabbed a hold. The baby seemed the most calm they had seen her since finding her, settled deeply and undisturbed by the outside world. May carefully reached for the baby blanket that was discarded on top of the bed and draped it over Coulson's front.

"Maybe you should lie down with her," she suggested. "Make sure she gets some rest." It seemed reasonable, especially since they saved the poor little one from torture. It felt *right* to give her some rest. Coulson scooted back across the covers carefully, lying down against his pillow and feeling the gravity of the tiny weight naturally press against his chest.

There were a whole lot of things swirling around his brain. A sense of fierce protectiveness. Of unconditional love even though he only just met her. Of some sort of gap that filled that he didn't even know was there? Or maybe he did, but never acknowledged it? Either way, something in him wanted to break, but it would have to wait for later.

May reached for the baby blanket, covering up the both of them just right and placed a gentle hand over the baby's back... Which was also where Coulson's hand was. He'd be lying if his heart didn't skip a beat... Or two.

"I should probably head out and grab a couple things--"

"Stay?" The single word escaped his mouth before his brain could even catch it. He could feel his ears go warm at the way her hand's weight shifted on top of his. It almost left, but at his word it stopped for a moment before returning pressure.

*She wanted to stay, too.*

"...Okay." And before his brain could even process, let alone his bleeding heart, his partner in crime laid down next to him on her side, facing him and the baby, keeping her hand planted over his.

Coulson's mind boggled at the fact that he was shirtless, with a random baby on his chest snoozing away, unaware that he had his academy crush lying in his bed with him (fully clothed, but honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way).

Fury wasn't kidding that SHIELD was unlike any opportunity he would ever receive in his lifetime.

[habibisagi]

JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND JUST LIKE MY CRAMPS MY POSTS WILL GET WORSE 🫶

[acourtofquestions]

“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

this seemed funnier in my head-

lumity milkshake date but make it the entire hexsquad thirdwheeling and... its just the ep cover of fall out boy's evening out with your girlfriend. it just makes sense.

could be a band au..

[authenticcadence18]

the whole sequence of Nick telling Jess she’s dating a wall if her London boy boyfriend isn’t showing up for her when she needs him changed my brain chemistry.

[rivilu]

ok you know. the Ellu in dav crossover au is very fun but i am a little bit enchanted by the concept of him AND Rynn at once. Best of both worlds in a sense.

[starshine-selfships]

YOURE ALSO SHIPPING WITH AN ANGEL NAMED GABRIEL!?? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

GOD GOD YES!! Also fun fact I lowkey knew you specifically would see those tags and got excited to see if you would say anything hfjgrgj

Here's the guy of the hour, the week, the YEAR

(The art with the oranges is my own lmao)

I got the game he's from as a gift for Christmas from a friend who really likes it (and I was like yeah!! I wanna play the game too!!) so everything I'm saying has a grand total of a month and a half behind it, and I feel like the short time duration is important to highlight the insanity here kdjffk

ALRIGHT SO spoilers for the entirety of ultra.kill as a game bc he's integral to the overall plot, but some background before Gabby, the game is centered around a robot (controlled by the player) descending down through 9 layers of hell a la dante's inferno style, bc this particular machine is blood powered and mankind has been completely wiped out (partially by war, partially by something that hasn't been made 100% clear yet), so you're just going around slaughtering everything in sight, with the chunkiest graphics known to man along the way.

Gabe's role here is to step in and try to stop you bc you're basically a walking abomination to all that is holy, Gabe is the angel that sends people to hell and is also the one chosen to carry out the will of god so he's also done a lot of killing to do that; he loses to the machine, gets so mad he curses at you (calls you an insignificant fuck) and then leaves, but we see a little behind the scenes, where we learn he's never lost a fight like this and the rest of the angels call it heresy; they sever his connection with divinity and tell him he has 24 hours to fix everything or he'll die. So naturally, next fight he's pissed as hell, and starts out MAD, yelling and threatening, but as it goes on, he starts having fun and laughing and taunting, and when he loses again, he says he feels relieved and needs time to think. He starts introspecting and starts questioning everything he's been told after he realizes he wasn't feeling hatred, but a sort of passion in the challenge of the fights. He starts asking himself if the angels he followed were actually in the right, and ends up killing them all, accepting that he's going to die but that he'll die not only having been freed from the constraints placed on him, but also having freed heaven itself from the angels that basically held it hostage with their power.

He's also as close to trans as you can get without explicitly calling him such! The devs discussed angels and pronouns in a recent stream and said they wanted angels to have no pronouns if possible, but then realized that they needed to gender Gabe when another character wrote a diary entry about him, so they settled on pronouns as a mark of angel status, which means that he didn't originally use he/him, but picked it up later and continued to use it no matter what; the other angels called him "it" after the took his divinity, but the overall narration still uses masculine pronouns for him, so it comes with the implication that he's still exactly who he knows he is, no matter what is said about him, which. as a trans man. good lord fhsjg the trauma of his arc hits very close to home for me and that was part of what propelled him into the spot he has on this blog.

The other thing that got him here was. and there really isn't any other way to say it. This man turned everyone into rabid animals, I have never seen so many people look at a character and desire him so violently, everyone wants to do unspeakable things to this man and it is so funny hdsjgks his VA will also voice pretty much anything in-character as well, so there's a lot of unhinged bullshit that makes for an absolutely incredible image of this man. He's a little uptight at first and throws a fit when things don't go his way, he seems like the exact kind of man that would be kind of silly, this man would struggle to peel an orange, throw it at a wall, and then later hang his head in his hands about it. This man would be able to speak multiple languages but would somehow mispronounce every single word as he goes. He's an astounding character and he's also kind of pathetic and something about all these factors just. lobotomized me. There is a gay little angel where part of my brain should be and I've just accepted it. I had a gay dream about him one single week after I saw him in game, the grip he has on me is UNREAL and I've fully accepted it.

He gives the very fun aspect of "is not human and has no idea what humans need or how they act", which makes him utterly hilarious to me, I wanna see this man try to preheat the oven, he is trying so hard to cook something for me and he is burning it so badly, he does NOT know what a car is and is frankly too wary of it to even consider getting in it. People also arrived at the consensus that he's probably very tall, it's been confirmed that there are no canon heights in the game, but everyone has agreed that Gabby is at least 7 feet tall and it is the funniest thing on earth to me. Very large and somewhat confused angel who means the best trying very hard in his new environment. Oh my god wait when the developers had that stream I mentioned they also talked about Gabe for a bit in regards to his personality bc in-game he saved someone from being swept away in the river styx (now an ocean after an influx of souls), and they were so grateful they added a fully functional hologram of him onto their ship, saying the lines he'd said when he'd saved them, and the devs said that they'd wanted that to be a glimpse into what Gabriel is like when he's not immediately targeting you as an enemy or fighting, and the specific words they used were "he's kind and loving" and that short-circuited my brain immediately upon impact.

He is The Guy Ever, he's basically trans and 70% of the people who drew him gave him top surgery scars even before the devs talked about gender, he's got religious trauma and guilt, he's too tall and has probably never read a book outside of the bible, he giggles and whimpers, he is considered to be one of if not the most wifeable character in the entire game, he has an official body pillow, I want to put him in pretty little outfits, I want to hold his hand and take him to the beach, I want to pin him against a wall, he is. Such A Guy,, thank you so much for asking me about him he makes me feel so insane hsgjsdl

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me, once again infected with The Terror brain worms: I have so many feeling about AMCs The Terror 😔

[crossbackpoke-check]

a doc of omega yamo being a nuisance, you say?

well…

[rosesradio]

fanart of my sfw works is cool (super cool amazingly cool i look at it every day) but like. fanart of my smut fics When?? 👀

[terminally-spooked]

Nothing tests the boundaries of patience like thin walls at 3am

[yourlittlebunnyy]

all the times franco and yn were unhinged on each others socials

francolapinto just posted.

liked by ynusername, alexalbon, williamsracing and 405.292 others

francolapinto working hard🔥

see comments

user1 great job!

user2 he looks so good omg😫

williamsracing 💙💙💙

ynusername oh!

ynusername papi

ynusername why are my panties suddenly wet?

francolapinto let me help you get rid of them mami

alexalbon I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW???

user2 THEY CANT BE STOPPED DAMN

ynusername papi i want you to choke me with those biceps

francolapinto gladly mami

user99 daddy/mommy kink goes HARD

user45 THEY HAVE NO SHAME

charlesleclerc there are FAMILIES HERE

user18 who is this DIVA?💜

landonorris WHAT DID I JUST READ???

user3 oh she's unhinged

user4 i mean look at him who wouldn't

user5 yn is lucky 😖

user6 actually ☝️🤓 franco is lucky to have yn

ynusername just posted.

liked by francolapinto, yourbestie, user7 and others

ynusername life lately🌞🌻

see comments

francolapinto mami porfa dame tus hijos🙏

user8 hey! so this is actually insane

francolapinto why are you so hot 😞

ynusername you tell me papi

alexalbon wait why are the comments actually nice?

francolapinto i may or may not have a problem right now...

ynusername a big one? ���☝️

user13 ehm... i suddenly feel in the middle of something😞

charlesleclerc that's how we fill everyday, every hour, every second.

alexalbon NEVERMIND

user9 IT GIRL

yourbestie 😍😍😍

user10 the comments started nice...

williamsracing we are tired😃

landonorris someone tell me what the actual fuck i just witnessed.

user2 please tell us 🙏🙏🙏

landonorris i... i think i just saw franco looking at this and excusing himself...

user6 LOLOLLOLLLL

user7 he's so down bad it's cute

francolapinto just posted.

liked by ynusername, williamsracing, alexalbon and 378.292 others

francolapinto quick break with my babygirl🏋‍♀️🐎

see comments

ynusername damn papi i wanna sit on your face😫

francolapinto who's stopping you? definitely not me

landonorris WHAT

charlesleclerc someone needs to start a petition to media train this two because man, i am tired...

alexalbon the way i would sign so quick...

ynusername didn't realise everyone hates us😟

user11 GIRL-

ynusername i want to climb you like a tree🙏

carlossainz i sighed so loud.

user12 me too, carlos. me too.

user13 GIRL WE GET IT PLS STOP😭😭😭

user14 atp im just here for yn comments😔

williamsracing looking good🔥💙

user15 i just know yn is giggling and kicking her feet rn

yourbestie she is. she is also blushing and she's been staring at this post for the past 10 minutes. send help.

williamsracing just posted.

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williamsracing ready for today💪 we will keep pushing💙🏎

see comments

user16 omg im here before than yn it feels so weird

francolapinto 💪💙

alexalbon see how its nice now that she's been media trained?

user17 noo pls they got my girl😔

ynusername AHAHAHAH NO you guys thought williams could trap me? 👺

user18 PLS NEVER CHANGE QUEEN🤲🙏

williamsracing well, fuck.

ynusername i think i just got pregnant

francolapinto milf yn?😏😏😏

user19 i dont think thats how it works...

user44 mind that's my first impression of you! 🙂

ynusername currently hyperventilating dont ask me anything

user20 @ynusername quick question what color is the shirt?

ynusername uhmmmm he was... wearing a shirt?☝

user21 SHE IS SO ME DJKDFJJDJS

user22 realest queen ever

user28 DIVA💜

alexalbon why i always speak too soon

landonorris nurse she's out again

yourbestie i tried. i failed. i can't defend you anymore, yn. 😞

ynusername damn... now a girl can't even admire his bf without being blamed...

yourbestie ADMIRE??? SISTER YOU'RE BASICALLY SEXTING WITH HIM IN THE COMMENTS🙏

user24 i love these two sm😭

user23 yn comments never disappoint🤭

more here!

[queeringdiedreiausrufezeichen]

Funny quote from “Die drei Ausrufezeichen Vampire in der Nacht”

“Franzi zwei von den drei Fragezeichen waren das, aber nicht in dem Laden?”

- Marie

“Quatsch! Wir sind doch hier nicht in Rocky Beach. Du bist albern Marie!“

- Franzi

I love this. So much!