#i feel toxic!ballet jordan taking over though

[poppy-metal]

one thing abt me is im gonna be coming up w aus in my head at all times

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Updates

I currently have 5 long form fics thought up in my brain. If you sent in requests, I'm thinking about them always! If you send in more requests, I'll get to them as inspiration strikes. I work full time and have the brain of a baby so I don't take demands lol <3 but song fic ideas, starter lines, other ideas, anything really!

All I've Ever Known, my Luke's little sister fic, has four more chapters left to be posted, including an epilogue.

Cross The Line, my toxic!ballet Jordan Li fic, has 17 more chapters left to be posted. It's so slow burn lmao but it is fully outlined. ive been taking it slow because its a bit harder to write.

Next to Normal, my punk band/normal college au, is going to be another high effort slow burn fic. I have over 30 chapters outlined, and I plan to do third person following both of them in each chapter (so each chapter will have a Jordan bit and a Marie bit). I've been focusing more heavily on this recently because I feel as though I need to work on conveying characterization through voice in my writing (fjdsaklfsajklaj i am not a real writer lol but like -- characters are hard and so i wanted to work on a story without an oc for a bit). If you have any fun, fluffy college moments that you personally enjoyed or that you want to see in this fic, please please please send them to me! Part of the challenge I gave myself for this fic was to try to incorporate a balance of fun and angst in each chapter. Forcing myself to actually write scenes lol.

Out of the Woods, my throuple fic, is on the backburner at the moment, mainly because I don't feel like I'm quite equipped to write it at the moment. My OCs powers are weird, and the plot is a bit... all over the place. It's doable, I just need to massage the story bits in my brain for awhile.

The Spy Who Loved Me, is the heist/spy limoreau fic that I dreamed up awhile back. It is really more of a vibe than an outlined story, so it's definitely at the bottom of my priorities.

If you were following back when I posted the other throuple fic, no you weren't. dfjskaldfjkal i honestly do not like that fic and probably wont go back to fix it. i like barely even tried.

Each of the long form fics is posted chapter by chapter as I get the energy to write - its posted here, AO3, and Wattpad. I did have someone editing some of my stuff, but they've been busy so I've been on my own for this stuff.

[poppy-metal]

TOXIC BALLET AU JORDAN??? MY GOD!!!! everything i need. their strong hands around your waist for lifts? yup. feel like you’d catch them staring as you’re warming up, or when you’re removing some layers after your warm-up, their eyes lingering a bit too long at your chest. they always scowl at you whenever you make eye contact though.

TOXIC BALLET AU JORDAN??? MY GOD!!!! everything i need. their strong hands around your waist for lifts? yup. feel like you’d catch them staring as you’re warming up, or when you’re removing some layers after your warm-up, their eyes lingering a bit too long at your chest. they always scowl at you whenever you make eye contact though.

TOXIC BALLET AU JORDAN??? MY GOD!!!! everything i need. their strong hands around your waist for lifts? yup. feel like you’d catch them staring as you’re warming up, or when you’re removing some layers after your warm-up, their eyes lingering a bit too long at your chest. they always scowl at you whenever you make eye contact though.

NO BECAUSE YOU GET IT.

they hate you sooooo bad, mostly because they've worked their ass off to be where they are and you're just some shiny new playtoy the academy wants to show off. the smile you show everyone, you think you're better than everyone, than them, just because you're the lead? when they get the role as your love interest and you look at them with your big hopeful eyes they curl their lip at you, and the chill you get from that look of disgust is enough to make you swallow. you're almost afraid to work with them, certain they'll drop you on purpose, there's no way you'll be okay with the way they always glare at you, make sarcastic digs at you, brush off your attempts at small talk, treat you like a nuisance.

by the time they get behind you, hands hovering above your waist, waiting for the music, you're almost shaking with nerves. "dont drop me," you hiss at them, needing to say it before you go crazy with paranoia.

you feel the cinnamon scent of the gum they always chew hit your nose as they huff behind you, cool air against your neck raising goosebumps. "dont tempt me, freshie." is all they say, and that's- not reassuring at all. and that stupid fucking nickname, always reminding you of your place below them.

before you can call it off, ask for a break maybe, the music starts and your body snaps to attention on auto pilot, at the same time jordans hands fall on your waist - and you nearly gasp - their palms are warm. hot. you thought they'd be cold. you have barely enough time to let that sink in before the moves of the dance take over you both, and you're left breathless by the way jordan handles you with such care and sensuality. the role calls for passion - two lovers wrapped up in eachother. frenzied w their hunger and - you can feel that in jordans grip. in the way they hold and lift you and bring your body flush with theirs. even their eyes are different now. darker, molten pools of brown as they press your lower bodies together. you're utterly captivated and shocked to feel warmth pooling between your thighs. it burns your face up because the spandex of your ballet costume does nothing to conceal the patch of wet jordan can probably feel growing on their thigh, pressed between your legs as they hold the final pose.

when the song ends, jordans eyes meet yours, and their lips curl into that degrading smirk you're so used to seeing - they jostle their knee against your cunt, just once. "take care of that, yeah? i dont need you dripping down my leg like a fucking faucet every day just because you're a cockhungry slut."

they let go of you like you're nothing. already stalking away. you're left feeling flushed and humiliated. still throbbing between your thighs. wondering how jordan can switch passion on and off so easily.

jordan isn't any better though, the second they're in the lockroom showers. sliding a hand down to grip their stiff and aching dick. pumping it hard and angry as they think of you on your knees, your sweet little eyes looking up at them like they're a god - they wonder if you're a virgin and hiss, squeezing their tip as they think about breaking you in and they groan as they paint the shower wall white with cum. panting as they brace themselves and think. fuck.

[poppy-metal]

after the emotional turmoil of angst you've put us through with toxic!ballet jordan could we have some established relationship jordan being a softie pretty please? also how do they get together?

- 🐞

SORRY. i love angst </3 it does end happy though, probably after some big fight between you too, where you call them out on all their shit, on how they so obviously care about you but treat it like its a bad thing, and how that makes you feel like shit because you've done nothing to earn their distrust - and they're a coward for letting fear hold them back, not just on being with you, but on going after what they want and being who they are. they dont like it at first, get so angry they could throttle you - even if they have tears biting at their lashes - even if their voice is cracked and sharp with pain when they tell you to go fuck yourself and storm away. n you dont go after them this time, you dont look at them or contact them and jordan doesn't look at you either. you spend weeks without talking, and it fucking kills you. so much that you ask to drop out as the lead in the next play, because you can't go through with all those nights alone with jordan, having them touch you, knowing they'll never be honest. let them torment some other girl - even if that thought makes you sick.

jordan is furious at the news. and they dont know why because something they always wanted happened. instead of getting another lead - jordan is cast in your place. they'll be the lone star. its what they always wanted, and yet the news feels like swallowing a cold stone. heavy and wrong in their stomach. they dont even smile. when they go home they stare at your contact name on their phone, biting their lip. wanting to demand you take your place back, but they cant - this is what they've wanted. and yet every practice feels awful. even if they hit every move, even if they have the dance down. they dont feel the rush of adrenaline or the thrill of having the audiences attention and praise. they just... miss you. because practicing with you, if they were honest, never made them feel outshined. performing with you only made them burn brighter. realizing that, its like a punch in the gut. its like a wave of emotion hits them all at once, and they know you were right. about everything.

because they're in love with you, god dammit. and you're their partner. you should be here.

its a big step - they decline the position of lead themself and when the director asks why jordan judt shrugs, feeling a weight off their shoulders, the weight of caring so fucking much about needing to be a lone star falling off, and say "it wasn't the right fit for me." because the right fit for them is by your side, or even if they performed alone, a role that they earned themselves and that they knew you'd support them over.

next is the groveling ❤️ ohhhhh groveling lovesick toxic!ballet jordan..... thats a whole other beast. because you're theirs. and you will be with them again. even if you dont know it yet.