#i feel so shitty about it
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shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.
shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.
you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.
#trauma#ptsd#childhood trauma#sorry just. feeling shitty about not having a past anymore#and please i'm so tired please for the love of god don't tag this with self deprecating shit like 'but i dont deserve anything'#you're only feeding into your mental health getting worse and you're using other peoples attempted positivity to do it#its just mean to both you and the op
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they wont let me pass this class if i keep being absent likkkeeeee
#i attended 2 classes last week#i feel so shitty about it#but the circumstances dont favour me#and my teacher is a fucking bully#fuckkkk himmmm
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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My take on a Sonadow fankid! She actually existed for a while now, but the trend gave me motivation to finally draw her!
Most sonadow fankids are purplish and tube-grown, so I decided to make her neither!
Background for the story under cut, in case it gets long!
So in this AU, stories from the more recent games happen when Sonic and Shadow are at most around 20 years old. Back then Sonic was rambunctious and reckless as we know him to be, and Shadow was a depressed, traumatized emo kid. While at first they were rivals as depicted in the games.
Over the years tho, just like their friends, the two matured. They started getting along a lot more, and became official friends, which eventually lead to dating. They both were afraid of getting serious though, so they took things slow and casual. Due to some of their unresolved issues, they couldn't get any closer. But not for much longer.
Some of it has been brought on by a Particular Event, and some of it due to restructuring how they go about saving the world, but things changed. As Forces has shown, putting so much responsibility on One Guy isn't wise. Sonic felt so quilty for failing, but it never should've been his job alone, so they created an organization, to share the load more evenly!
The org became global, with local groups of heroes being recruited all around, meaning that now the characters we know and love now had more time to take care of their personal lives.
While for some the change hasn't been much, Sonic, and to a lesser extent, Shadow, struggled quite a lot. Many of things happened in between, but eventually both of them grew to quite enjoy the domestic life.
They moved in together, and started taking things to the next level, now that both have done some healing and therapy. They found that they get along quite great. After a bit longer, they decided to start a family :)
Shadow came up with the name. He wanted to honor his sister's memory, but Mar-Mar was also a symbol of all his progress. He did go to therapy to make sure that he can handle them sharing a name, to see if it's a good idea, and well, it was!
She's now 4 and very loved, and her dads love each other very much as well. For a certain Sonic though, things won't go so great.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#sonadow fankid#sonic oc#sth#sonic design#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#shadow#sonic au#my art#the art is kinda shitty bc i didnt wanna miss the train#feel free to ask any questions if ur curious abt any details this one is quite thought out#also they're married now :) they used matching earrings instead of wedding bands bc neither likes em#also i couldnt give less of a fuck about the shoes i Really wasnt in the mood so i halfassed it#gave up on shadow's completely ill design him new ones later#mar-mar the hedgehog
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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023
#welcome to night vale#wtnv#ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old#i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name#so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment#aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name)#wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast#cecil palmer#cecilsweep#oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town#yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post#added a description#glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme#i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :(#follow me for more shitty podcast memes#im currently going feral for malevolent#important note: girlies is gender neutral#tumblr sexyman poll
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local cis man makes a “joke” tiktok that excludes trans men from the phrase “trans people” and mocks the music we make based on a stereotype that’s already been mocked to death, then makes a follow up video directed at the trans men who told him it wasn’t a funny joke or just made them feel shitty where he just doubles down and says the joke was fine because it “wasn’t serious” and that the trans men who didn’t like it are “directing their energy in the wrong place”.
maybe one day cis people will learn that 1) most trans jokes simply are not for them to make, regardless of how funny they think the joke would be, and 2) it’s not for them to decide if the trans people they chose to joke about are allowed to be upset that the joke was made. i honestly wouldn’t have even bothered making a post about this if it was just the original video because a lot of trans people also make jokes like this (which i still don’t think are funny or fair) so he could be forgiven for thinking no one would be upset, but the doubling down really rubs me the wrong way.
like, if we can’t even trust cis people to listen to our feelings on something as silly as a joke tiktok about music, how can we trust them to listen to us when it really counts? you can say it’s not that serious all you want, but when it’s already been demonstrated that you don’t always know how something will actually affect trans men, can you really expect us to trust that you’ll know when it is that serious?
because the message that response sends is this: “i find you fun to laugh at, but i don’t think you’re worth the trouble of caring about your feelings. i would rather enjoy myself and entertain others at your expense.” and is that the kind of message you want to send to anyone, especially a group of people you seemingly interact with enough to be familiar with the jokes made about them in their community? even if it wasn’t anti-transmasculine, it would still just be mean, and it’s certainly not a message that will make us see you as trustworthy when shit gets bad.
#obligatory ‘please do not harass him’ both because that would be shitty and because clearly he won’t listen to us anyway#it’s like five days old and that follow up is the closest there’s been to an acknowledgement of people’s feelings about it so. don’t bother#i don’t actually think any of y’all would do that but god only knows someone would accuse me of trying to make that happen by linking it#examples of transandrophobia#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia
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sketches doodles useless thingies
sorry guys I'm dead summer finally killed me so baii 😁
#ninjago#ninjago fanart#lego ninjago#spinjitzu brothers#ninjago wu#ninjago garmadon#young garmadon#ninjago morro#morro wu#<- Idk how to draw him#ninjago euphrasia#dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#there's so much tags...#if u think that spinbros thing is a li'l bit ooc.#u're right actually#I just thought it's silly#ughh I want to talk sm I just don't feel like shitting under images#got your nose!! I ate all of 'em bcuz Im lazy#it's not like I have to post masterpiece everytime. it's just that I feel kinda shitty when all I have is doodles about nothing#y'know#goddess my handwriting is so messed up#I was really sleepy and all I have is my finger sorry guys#bred's art
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Constantly citing this article and the studies it uses.
Here's a quote:
"That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).
The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men."
#just an interesting finding#trans men#transmascs#transmasculinity#but you know#“shut up and listen to people who have real problems”#some of the shit you people say about trans men on this website makes me so mad#I feel like you walked into my house told me that Dolly Parton is a fascist bitch then spit in my grandma's ashes#like do you want to take this outside?#Oh I forgot#you never go outside#obviously#only a chronically terminally online weirdo could say the things you people say about trans men#I'm not a trans man and I can so clearly see the way you treat them is shitty#why can't you?#transandrophobia#they coined that word because you got mad when they applied transmisogyny to their own experiences and now you pick apart the word#as if words don't have meanings outside their root parts#I can't imagine having that much brain rot
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I'm sorry but James Vowles criticising how Red Bull has treated their drivers in the past, only to go and then treat Logan far worse while pulling the exact same shit Red Bull did, ie the exact behaviour he criticised and called them out for, is so freaking infuriating like the sheer hypocrisy -
#f1#formula 1#formula one#james vowles#logan sargeant#best of luck to logan in the future & to franco#but james its on sight#rooting for franco because he's being thrown straight into the deep end#like Singapore of all races will be his third f1 race#and as i said when it was announced daniel was leaving mclaren & oscar was getting the seat#it's never the drivers at fault for a teams shitty behaviour towards a driver#the hypocrisy from james is just leaving a very bad taste in my mouth#edit: also infuriating that of the latest batch of rookies oscar & yuki are the last ones standing#zhou currently has no confirmed seat#they're the only rookies of the past 4 years left#mick has no seat#nicolas latifi has gone back to business school which good for you nicky i hope you're doing well#sorry but i went back to university in 2023 too so i feel a kinship with him lmao#less said about that nameless haas driver the better#nyck is the endurance championship now i think#i dont think I'm missing anybody
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"Hah, dude doesn't even know he's in my tamagotchi."
#For some reason he gave me early 2000s vibes as i was drawing him? So of course I turned his box into a tamagotchi✨#Tinky#I don't care about cannon lore or timelines... all i know is this version of Tinky would torment the SHIT out of College ted.#t’noy karaxis#Nightmare time#time bastard#thinks i proof read it: writes always twice#hatchetfield#Heheh - Silly slushie idea came from @yourlocalabomination#and Edgelord Tinky convo idea came from @raftersomefood#God this particular Human tinky would talk so annoying... SOOO Dude-Bro 💛#Anyway i guess i should have tried making him look like curt instead of winging it cuz everyone thought i was drawing Goat ted???#I do think he came out too thin - I dunno know what happened#(PS. feel free to find me on insta for some close ups [same user] and follow me for my annoying stories where i post shitty progress pics)
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#dungeons and daddies#dndads#scary marlowe#taylor swift not that one#lincoln li wilson#normal oak#dndads spoilers#epilogue headcanons#linc started to like cats after he got over (at least a bit) his previous jealousy towards his dads#but mainly bc he grew attached to Scary's cat after they started to live together yes she is a cat lady to me#normal still isolates himself when he's feeling shitty tho this time it went on for several years#despite the others not giving up on trying to contact him#they wanna give him space but they're also worried so that's why they try to be nonchalant about it during the reunion#which i also already have a sketch of but college's been taking up most of my time sorry#not described#ignore the inconsistencies please and ty
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so ive been thinking so hard about that transfem butch zoro au.
i feel like at the Very beginning (after kuinas death) she does try to present real feminine like but it doesnt feel like Her and eventually she stops doing it (and in any case its not like kuina was super feminine so why would she try to be like that??)
on the other hand she HAS to make sure everyone knows shes a woman when she beats their ass and becomes the worlds greatest swordsman. so sports bras (or equivalent whatever) and open shirts are a staple
i think she would do hrt (or equivalent Whatever) because again she wants to prove that kuina could have done it. unfortunately i do also think this means she trains about 1 million times as hard
trans sanji............. coming to the realisation that maybe she Wants to be taken care of by a hot butch........................ as a pretty femme
#the lil fashion drawing wasnt initially supposed to have a corset but i had a dream about it specifically irt sanji. so LMAO#one piece#zosan#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#sanji#art#the mellorine bullshit.......... i feel like. what happens is that sanji (using he/him Pre egg cracking)#thought she was a man at first. developed the rivalry. and by the time he realised she was a woman it was awkward for everyone to backtrack#but i dont think he could stand the idea that hes not treating a woman right and i also think that would be shitty lmao#but he just cant treat her like that. but he still sees her as a woman. i think instead hes acting in a way to affirm her butchness....#does that make any sense. adghdbshbjgg
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due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc”
like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park
i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character
(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#aziraphale#aziraphale IS in fact a dark horse#he is consistently dismissed and underestimated and overlooked bc of how he presents himself!#even crowley does this with him (not in any sort of malicious way its a sense of protectiveness)#(i am not here to get into how aziraphale n crowley treat each other in ways that are unintentionally hurtful id be here forever lmao)#the point is that aziraphale is smart and tbh he knows more about how shitty heavens treatment has been the past few thousand year??#since he's. he's been the one getting treated badly. that whole time.#anyway theyre both right theyre both wrong and end of the day i just.#i hate the concept of a s3 that equates softness and kindness with being wrong and naive and dumb etc#it does not feel very good omens to me idk man#so i hope that's not where it goes
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911 really is such a good reminder of the particularly kind of joy that is weekly, seasons-long shows with many episodes per season. every character gets a moment to shine even in a truncated season. the satisfaction of seeing characters grapple with stuff that happened YEARS ago. having multi-episode arcs and one-off arcs that are equally enjoyable. beach episodes (metaphorical). I know we're all saying this all the time but why can't more tv be like this
#911#911 spoilers#lauren feels things#do I hate waiting week to week for this show?#of COURSE#but it's so fun to run to youtube after an episode and watch the promo for next week#(why don't weekly streaming shows do promos btw? we should bring those back)#this week's 911 really was such a SHINING example of this#in one episode we got:#HUGE bobby exploration#bathena content#major hen exploration#AND henren content#eddie breakthrough#buddie content#callbacks to seasons 1 and 2 in MANY ways#tommy content!! that confrontation with his old shitty captain did so much in such a short time#we didn't get enough chimney or madney for my taste#but that's only because I can LITERALLY never get enough of them#and chimney had a hUGE episode 2 episodes ago so that's okay#and!!!!!! this is after a whole week spent JUST on bobby!#that was so compelling!!!#and in a 10 episode season still feels like we're getting to everything#the callback to dosed#the return of bobby's suicidal ideation#I mean jesus CHRIST#I'm so glad he and athena talked about the book#also I would loooooove love love another bobby chimeny convo about this at some point#bc that scene in s1 when bobby tells chimney about his plans to kill himself#is one of my favorite scenes it's SO good
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