#i feel so extremely edged
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There is literally NOTHING in the world that could have prepared me for the ammount of emotional turmoil HNOC live would cause me. IT ENDED. RIGHT BEFORE HANGED MAN RUSTS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. TEARS IN MY EYES. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS. I. JESUS, MAN. JESUS. COME OB. OH MY GOD. GOD. CHRIST.
#julian posting#im not kidding ive been crying about this for 5 minutes. help me im autistic#i feel so extremely edged#its not even funny#ok maybe a little#AAAAUUUUUGHHRHRHRH WAAAAHHH WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAH BRIAAN#BRIIIIIIAAAAAANNN WERRREHRHRHHDHDJJSKDJANMDKAKEKSKDJSKDJDJ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO#JELP#WAAAAHHHH#WAAAAAAAAGHHH#snf#its ok. its.#i got to see him. for like. a little bit. its ok#BANGING MY FISTS ON THE TABLE#WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH#Im never making fun of kpop girls ever in my life. i get it. i really do. i get it now#good lord#drumbot brian#hnoc#the mechanisms#high noon over camelot#raphaella in that video tho....... got damn.......... not elaborating further#jonny too#and marius. god#dont fucking talk to me rn jm processing. im#no do talk to me actually#but. WAASGRHSJRJAJJFJAJFJEJJDJDJDJSJFJRJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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what to do when you keep imagining one of your toys any time you try to sleep with anyone else?
Avis: @kingdomofpink
#he’s SO frustrated cause he can’t get off cause this npc isn’t Damsel. lol. teehee even#this is post unlocking mating insticts but pre dating arc#moments after this basically hallucination of Damsel he gets pissed off at the poor npc girl who's sucking him off 💔#justice for npc girl#i talk SO MUCH about DamselxAvis in dms with bunni so glad i finally had the time to draw them#Damsel was NOT trying to end up dating Avis btw#she girlbossed a little too close to the sun and accidentally awakened his mating instincts. oopsies ♡#she felt extremely out of control in their whole...situationship so she started doing things to make herself feel more grounded#[teasing and playing mind games essentially] and oops he was in to that#she basically teased her way into marriage. wild.#btw it takes her an EGREGIOUS amount of time to come to terms with the fact that she actually likes Avis beyond just thinking he's hot#she handles it as well as you're imagining#damsel the starlet#avis the foxy#avis the shifty#damsel draws sometimes#.✿#anyways i think what i wanna work on next is Romī's vivisection on Sai ft. Noé#or FragsDamsel bloody kisses….we’ll see which edges out in my mind
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I'm trying to think of like in a vacuume what is the most well written, compelling episode of star trek? Across all of star trek. Outside of nostalgia or shipping stuff or how iconic some of the episodes became. What is the best Star Trek episode?
#im not qualified to answer this question anymore bc its been too long since i rewatched all tng and tos. been too long since i watched voy#and ent and i havent watched really any new trek except like 1 season of disco. but the episode that comes to mind for me is duet from ds9#bc its so gut wrenching. but thats a good character study and not like a scifi idea episode. amok time is extremely iconic but also i think#it became that way bc it is a really compelling character episode and interesting idea. city on the edge of forever is again iconic but als#its a time travel butterfly effect with a weird talking donut portal. compelling. but idk i feel like tng has some of the best scifi concep#episodes. measure of a man. the picard flute ep. idk. what is the ultimate star trek episode?#i also love the dr bashir i presume. but im maybe biased there bc i relate to being a kid with a learning disability and the idea that#someone might go in and erase the person i would have been is kinda terrifying. jules bashir died in that hospital and all that#idk i love ds9 too much#unrelated#darmak and jalad at tenagra is also a fave
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Tbh this is more me bitching about once again wasting money on a game I probably won't be able to finish due to cripple-itus but we're going to pretend it's a serious discussion on game design.
So to preface: my vision is fucked. Irrevocably. Like get discounts on insurance levels of fucked. But games, even very difficult ones still Often very doable and fun.
One of my favorite genres is "white dot goes on a combat platforming adventure" Ie metroidvania/soulslikes that either Are hollow knight or heavily inspired by hollow knight
And I just want to compare a Good white dot, against an extremely irritating white dot.
This is yi. He is an edgy cat boy. he is a good white dot.
No matter the amount of bullshit on screen or the background color, you can always quickly find the white dot that is Yi or his lil robe.



This Bo. They are a bad white dot. they look like they'd be a Good white dot, what with the really clear silhouette of their ears and strong red markings
This is Bo in the game.





Bo breaks the number 1 rule of being a white dot: they end up the same color as the background because neat light effects which do look Great, were more important than the ability to find you're guy while doing minute long don't touch the ground style parkour sessions.
Like Hollowknight and Nine Sols, Path of the teal lotus uses a lot of forground and back ground layers to create a very nice sense of depth. However the foreground layers frequently completely cover the lower half of Bo's body. often making them a light colored dot on a noisy light colored back ground.
The fact background and play ground elements are often the same color does not help. Nor does the fact the camera is . Bad. it just is. It zooms in and out in the middle of a screen making it extremely difficult to keep track of an already hard to follow character in a setting where. losing track of your guy means getting sent back to the beginning of a tedious boss fight or a prolonged parkour session (which to be clear, would be good if you could track your player character. not the bosses though. They are. bad. they need to attack faster, have more than 2 attacks, or at least have a fraction of the HP they do. so you're not just standing around waiting for them to decide to start up another attack to open a vulnerability window.)
And I'm just going to say it, Someone on the team knew the game had this issue. Because they gave you a fix that doesn't work. You can adjust brightness, contrast, and saturation. None of these fix the issue of Bo disappearing. The game is so blown out that no combination of settings produce a result where bo is consistently visible, and also you can tell whats background and what's something you can stand on.
Anyways Demos are an accessibility feature, and when they're not available don't be lazy like I was and just pirate it. If the devs aren't going to give you a way to check if their shit is busted or not, you'll just have to find one yourself.
Anyways anyways tldr absolutely Gorgeous game, Should've been a silent animated movie instead because it's nearly unplayable and the translators either did a Really bad job, or the writers just didn't get why the jokes they're copying were funny
#elden ring is also a 'white dot goes on an adventure' game. the white dot is just the auto targeting reticle instead of Scrimbly#My horrible son who i made as white dot adjacent as i could. He doesn't get to wear hats unles theyre funny or cat heads#im having trouble finding screenshots bc i Cant Find Bo in them and so don't know if bo just. isnt there.#its like wheres waldo. But its the player character.#i shouldn't be questioning whether or noth the Guy is there in a normal screeny of your game#idk maybe im over exaggerating#also potl is the first game ive ever played where on my first play through. before ive gotten to know all the movement and combat#ive wanted to be able to speed up the game. Like Celeste lets you turn the speed down? This needs the opposite. Extremely sluggish and it's#made worse because it slows down even more Constantly#near an edge near something you can pogo on near an enemy projectile you can do the Ori redirect thing with#near an enemy#when you're pogoing#it just feels bad man.#its not even Consistent#anyways play nine sols. Its really good#I like Ji. <Anyone who knows my vibe of character and also this game just rolled their eyes#Jiequan is cool too but im still mad they didn't draw his dick. iykyk
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if you ever feel unlucky, remember a time when you saw a bird. those things can fly. and they do fly! all around. they go to so many places at so many different times, but you were at the right place and the right time to see exactly that bird on that exact day. isn't that so fucking lucky?
#don't take me seriously. maybe it isn't. maybe im just projecting#i guess the same could be said about people and dogs and cats#it's just that birds can FLY#i guess a close comparison is a plane to me.#ok I'll tell u the context tho maybe you'll get it: there's a small group of white water birds that live in a lake at the edge of my town#they might be egrets? or herons? idk they seem too small but that's not important#there's about 100 of them and they all leave the lake during the day to get food i presume? and then they go back to the lake#after the sun sets#there's no real schedule tho. so when i happen to be outside and i look up and see them going back home i feel extremely lucky#because what are the chances i would see them? i had one chance to see them that day bc they only go back to the lake once#and i happened to be outside and looked up at exactly the right moment to catch them#isn't that fucking incredible? i think it is#microblogging#.#reminders#birds
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Have you seen the animatic that was made between Pomni's voice actor and Striker's voice actor when they were doing character prompts together? Pomni essentially is given a gun and goes mad with power.
ohhh im not sure!!! ive scoured around for many of the va things before but im not sure i know that one.... i looked it up and there seems to be a few so im not sure which one youre specifically referring to, but i watched one. im truthfully not particularly interested in stuff with the other character or that show (sorry!) but i do appreciate lizzie freemans performance... i like when pomni is Like That in the least pleasant or cute way possible, its very good :]
#ask#i hope we see more of this type of pomni behavior...#we didnt get MUCH of it in ep 4 and its more mild in eps 2 n 3 compared to the pilot#(and i think its only not really present in ep 4 cus the adventure IS so normal. its right up her alley)#BUT its important to me... she needs to be like this more#i mean i think in a lot of extra materials pomnis personality gets a little hammed up more than it normally is in canon#but still!!! we havent seen this side of her since the pilot and i dont imagine its gone forever. were gonna see smth awful happen later#and i get the feeling pomni wont handle it all well#character who is easily scared and who hates horror being put in a horrific situation that is fated to go wildly downhill. good luck pomni#but yea!! smth that endeared me early on to pomni was that shes extremely nervous but its like. not in a cute way#just in a 'this character is stressed as fuck and handles situations poorly in the right conditions'#and i appreciate a character who isnt jittery or on edge in a way that is pleasant to their peers#but also isnt presented as smth that makes them weird in a bad way where u still shouldnt care that theyre nervous or struggling#to handle things...#if that all makes sense HAHA
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So do you ever think about Jon embracing being non human and becoming a worse but much much happier version of himself or are you normal
I am thinking about Jonathan Sims having a fraying connection with humanity All Of The Time. Jon who is drawn to the Eye not just because he needs to know but because being an Avatar just feels Right. Jon who has always struggled to connect with the people around him. Jon who feels he was never human in some fundamental way to begin with, always reaching for all the things humans are supposed to be that he has never been. Jon eternally caught between the knowledge that if he ever stops trying he can only hurt the people around him but if he never stops trying he will always be crushed under the weight of his own stifling humanity. Jon shedding his false skin and feeling nothing but relief even though he knows he is going to hurt people now, and more than ever before, and he is not ever going to stop because the chains are gone and they can’t be put back. This is because I am extremely normal and have no problems at all.
(I think there’d probably be some good Jon/Jonah parallels here if we had ever gotten to see Jonah as he was just starting out. Like genuinely do you see the Vision?)
(I do believe this post is like. Maybe the most articulate I have ever been on the subject. Do you fucking know how much “a tragic loss of life, etc. etc.” fucking Haunts me? I don’t have the words to explain it now and I don’t think I did before either but it changed my brain chemistry please I don’t know what to say but I desperately need to say it.)
(I think this was maybe more. Adjacent to what you meant maybe? Unfortunately I got caught on This Concept and I’m trapped in it now. I hope this is alright)
#anyway guess who struggles with Emotions and also discovered it was aro like 6 months ago after years of questioning#and feels Extremely Normal about jonathan sims#tbh aromantic and autistic jon both go SO hard as headcanons#also maybe it/its jon#i think jon fundamentally relates to it/its pronouns in a way he can’t ever explain or articulate#that is made so much more complicated and painful by S4’s. everything.#i need him to Not Use Them but remain agonizingly aware it’s an option at all times#tbh i think i’m more into. like. the transitional period. jon teetering on the edge between terrifying freedom and agonizing constraints#anyway sparky and the one throwaway line in s1 that exploded my brain forever#the problem with this particular topic is i can’t offer a coherant analysis because after two minutes thinking about it i start#just going completely feral over the. Everything.#and my thoughts get reduced to incoherent screaming noises and thrashing#but anyway thank you for the ask my brain is Churning over this ALL THE TIME#aro jon real. and adhd jon real. and trans jon real honestly#like i think jon truly could work as any flavor of trans but ESPECIALLY nonbinary#and this is. part of it.#(part of it is also Projection but shhhhh we don’t talk about that)#asks#it’s not really about aro jon? but i’m putting this in my#aro jon#tag for safekeeping
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Watching SEGA go from "we will not acknowledge any Sonic games released between 2005 to 2010 and especially not the one with the hedgehog holding a gun" to "Happy Year of Shadow you funky little misfits" is not the character arc I was expecting but it is certainly welcome lmao
Thought I'd show off the sick jacket I made for my Shadow cosplay last year since no photos have survived of the event whoops
#Shadow the Hedgehog#Cosplay#Shadow Cosplay#shadow sth#sth shadow#sth#Sonic the Hedgehog#Shadow#Year of Shadow#Sewing#Clothes#Jacket#Original Content#i love this stupid fuckin' jacket so much. it's my ultimate nerd beacon jacket and making it was healing the inner child#I love the stupid Fearless trailer too like. This is absolutely the sentiment that woulda gotten me hooked and feeling validated as a kid#Edge Rat was like. my role model shfkgkhf I ate that shit up. Doom Eye HD Model in 2024 is INSANE TO ME#Wore it at the symphony and got so many compliments. Seeing so many people in one room with... Hedgehog Fashion got me extremely hyped lol
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When I was in Oklahoma there were these pokemon go players, blue team, and they would drive out to the park behind my house and take over all the gyms. Which.... Whatever. But if you knocked their pokemon out, these grown ass men (I never saw more than two despite there being six pokemon in each gym) would get in their big trucks and show up a full ten minutes later to kick you out again. It was about a ten minute walk to the park, dark and often cold so like. As a recent yellow team member to join my sister, there was nothing I could do. They actually camped out in their truck behind a fence out of sight once and spent an hour kicking people out but not taking the gym over. Bunch of kids getting real bummed out and we all thought each other was responsible, but we ended up talking and realized none of us was doing it. I saw the truck parked on the way home, idling around the corner.
It wasn't a lack of coins. They were just dicks and it legitimately made me mad. They also had a guy on red team who would come around and knock their stuff out for them so they could refresh their coin gathering. Complete bullshit.
Context for tonight, when I'm in bed and the yellow gym I can hit from my apartment starts going nuts. There's this one guy who comes by every night and takes over this gym and two more. I kicked him out tonight. He came back. War ensued, and since I was a little high I could feel myself fixating on this but was unable to stop. I could feel the stress coming back of not being allowed to get coins, that frustration. I'm not repeating that experience and I'm not quitting over this, so what can I do? Only one thing.
Anyway after nearly two hours of bullshit (I took breaks) it was very satisfying to grab the team medallion, swap to blue team, and put a magikarp named midfinger up next to their 4k tanks. Petty, yes. But I started out blue team anyway and I HATE the way the yellow team guy looks so I had already been considering it for the past week every time I had to look at him. Really, this was just a nudge.
Now we hope he and his buddy don't swap teams too. It would admittedly be very funny. (important context: you can only swap teams once a year)
#My sister is very 😭 about me leaving yellow team but she admits this is iconic#Which is very generous of her because it's actually extremely pointless#But because of the weed I can feel pleasure and it felt very nice to be like no and fuck you#I don't have money to spare buying coins all the time#I am in fact allowed to be petty once in a blue moon and this was a problem that could be solved and now it is#Those asses never let other blue team people in either if they could help it#It was a very small town and on the edge of that town so it was legit the same people every time
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about half of my apartment is packed up and in a week im going to be living in a new state for the first time in my life. kind of surreal n scary but extremely exciting. this has been in the works for like 8 months now so its incredible to finally be at the precipice of such an awesome life change
#going from living in a shitty part of sacramento to a small city in oregon#and im going from an old shithole apartment to a townhouse on the edge of a nature preserve that was just built like. a year ago#and i get to live with my wife and kevin and my sibling again which is such an ideal support system to have#3 bed 2.5 bath!!! and its HUGE its like 600 more sqft than my current place and theres so many windows#and theres a shower in my ensuite bathroom... :spoiled:#idk its been a lot of work and im extremely grateful to have my parents support as well#bcuz theyre moving with us and like. sold their house n almost everything they own so we can have an easier life out of this state#idk its so exciting but its so crazy!!!!!!!!#i feel so grateful to no longer have to work opposite schedules from my wife n i get to see my family more often. its gonna be really good#MAYBE I CAN EVEN START COLLAGING AGAIN LMFAOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Speaking of my last reblog, sometimes I still think about how I was once publically dragged through the mud unprompted for daring to tag that I thought the Citadel was less than stellar, and then, after pointing out that this universe's economy was interconnected and that the Citadel benefited from a lot of good publicity while hiding its deeply corrupted innards to "justify myself", I received back a wild collection of ad hominems and name-calling accusing me to want to be sad on purpose, not understand how money worked, and also of "projecting my feelings about Brazil" on the franchise (it was during the elections where Bolsonaro won), which was inherently inappropriate to do apparently.
And a bunch of people unfollowed me over that! :D
So yeah hard to me not to think the fandom has kind of a bias towards one given so-called "neutral" perspective, even if I feel like it has overall gotten a little better (as in: I now see posts like the one I just reblogged).
#thoughts#mass effect#personal#fandom critical#the person who dragged me was a USamerican who was like a good decade older than me btw#I feel like that's relevant :)#the event seriously discouraged me from discussing my thoughts on certain stuff too which is unfortunate#sorry if it feels like I'm reheating extremely old and overall unimportant drama but I feel like it's kind of a relevant example#there is a USamerican bias in how the world is interpreted --and one that doesn't always love to be criticized#it makes sense since it's a story that mostly comes from this perspective#and it is choke-full of exceptionalist sentiment#but still!! still.#I have seen making it people acting ugly more than once. less so on tumblr#but the fandom can have this hostile edge sometimes even on here
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peter benson as henry vi adding a mirthless little laugh after the second half of 'may god forgive my sins, and pardon thee', as if to add on the sentiment of lmao fat chance!! on his way out, was such an inspired choice hfkjdsah. also very sad of course. (in the 1965 version henry seems so genuine when he says that, and it's just like... what a quiet triumph it is, in the middle of black despair, that what's gentle and good in him somehow survived through everything right to the end. he's lost everything, but it hasn't changed who he fundamentally is. and what other victory can we hope for in this life when it comes right down to it. while in the 1983 version there is the sense that something has broken inside him with this last blow, with the death of his son.)
#henry vi part 3#shakespeare#benson's physicality and mannerisms as henry are SO good. literally did not occur to me at any point watching the play#that that's not a real guy that's an actor playing a role. that's my good if deeply useless friend henry vi of england#manages to add in the deep sense that like... henry sees much more than he lets on he just doesn't know what to do with it too#the actor was a bit older when he did this role I guess there's some gravitas and fine detail that's hard to bring without it#also the layers it adds to the whole thing that he and richard actually look so much alike -- both usually the shortest slightest figures#on stage during in their respective scenes both with the dark hair and ah nose-forward profiles (affectionate#in case you do not know me and my ardent love for prominent noses lol). extremely different people but SOMETHING resonates#also not to be predictable but HUGE fan of how ron cook does richard's little speech after killing henry too#I don't think I've ever seen a performance of that where it feels so much like you are watching him reach a conclusion#in an irrevoccable sort of way -- like it's a process you're going through at the same time as him not a foregone conclusion#you are arriving there with him every step of the way. he's not running towards something he's running away from something#(himself. and how much he hates himself)#that edge of slight bewilderment and desperation beneath it all. the way it's like he's talking to himself around something#he doesn't understand. when you let some vulnerability into that scene something happens that makes my brain on fire lol#the embrace of despair of it all because you can't see anything else for yourself anymore. and you kill a guy about it
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idk if there's anything in stories i get more petty about than poorly-written "main character shows up to a new place and meets everyone" character introduction scenes
#personal#they make me SO ANGRY ahglkmsfkl#it isnt just the trope of showing up and meeting everyone either#like it works for me in some things!#i think pacific rim does a really good job with characterization for example#and it's got a sequence of scenes where raleigh arrives and the audience is introduced to the shatterdome & important characters basically#my working theory until i do some more analysis is that stories that do it well leave some mystery#like in pacrim you don't find out mako's whole deal immediately upon meeting her#pentecost doesnt go ''this is mako mori. one of our brightest. her whole family was killed by a kaiju and she wants to be a pilot''#he says she's in charge of the mk 3 restoration program#and she doesn't immediately offer up her backstory because why would she. real people dont do that#the russian pilots dont show up and go ''hello we are russian''. pentecost just tells raleigh briefly who they are#etc. newt & hermann's intro scene is one of my favourite bits of characterization Ever and you don't learn that much about hermann during i#all the info you get is from newt being chatty and ridiculous and mocking hermann and putting his foot in his mouth. i.e. newt being newt#and that's what makes it good!#when chuck and herc are introduced you learn absolutely nothing about chuck. hes just there in the background#he and raleigh look at each other for a second and you kinda go ''who's that guy''#AND THATS ENOUGH TO ESTABLISH HIM AS ''PROBABLY IMPORTANT LATER''#idk idk but so many books do this kind of scene so badly that it pisses me off#so many POPULAR books too. like i either am uniquely annoyed about this or other people are way more willing to overlook it lol#as far as examples go. the house in the cerulean sea and every heart a doorway were the books where i got so annoyed i immediately DNFed#i feel like the long way to a small angry planet does it a little bit but not as bad. i cant remember for sure it's been a while#i did finish that one but i had extremely mixed feelings about it#and now im reading a big ship at the edge of the universe and. once again it is happening#aaaargh
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#i think#ow: cecil#‘s predicament is too complex to simplify this way which is why he’s in the middle#hunar is like the least guilty cus#yk#the only thing he really did was the argument he had with bucks#not to diminish it ofc#im just putting things into scale#when compared with the others#also before you ask about Jerry yes im counting ofw here#orlams really the only one who’s not really sorry#but he’s not at the very bottom still#jerry and bucks kinda teeter on the edge of sorry and not sorry because I think buck’s feelings are pretty complicated+she’s more morbidly#thankful for everything for the majority of ow#still not fully under not sorry since she does feel extremely sorry at the end of ow so yk#similarly for genzou actually#i just think he gets more time to show his sorry-ness than bucks which is why he’s slightly higher there#anyways im rambling#our wonderland#ow: orlam#ow: iggy#ow: genzou#ow: gidget#ow: bucks#ow: hunar#ow: jerry#alignment chart
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#i feel extremely overstimulated today#and on the edge of losing it lmao#so honestly idk what imma put out#pls take what i have to give lol
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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