#i feel lonely but also whenever anyone tries to get closer to me i build these walls | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nsheetee · 4 years ago

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Awaken

Pairing: chenle x reader Genre: friends to lovers AU, fluff, mature content Length: 6.4k Summary: When Chenle invites you on a last minute trip to his family’s home in China, you’re excited at the prospect of a small vacation and about spending time with your crush. Surprisingly, Chenle’s extended family is there as well, and a series of events quickly awaken something new in both of you. Warnings/Details: female reader, explicit sex (breeding kink, unprotected sex [please stay safe], creampie) disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. the characters and events are not a reflection of reality or meant to offend in anyway.

“What do you mean you can’t come? We were talking about this literally last night, and not even 12 hours later, you can’t come?!” Chenle practically screams into his phone as he stuffs random pants and shirts into his open suitcase. “Explain yourself, Park.”

“My mom suddenly wants me to come home.” Jisung sounds apologetic and slightly timid, “She said she’s cooking dinner tonight for our family and if I’m not at the table she’ll cut my tongue off. I know she won’t actually do it, but... I don’t want to test it.”

Chenle sighs, sounding bothered by this predicament, but Jisung knows his best friend isn’t going to be that sad about his absence. It’s not like Jisung has never been to Chenle’s house in China, and although he loves the place, he knows this won’t be the last opportunity for him to fly there. When Chenle sighs once more, this time just to be annoying and show how irritated he is, Jisung speaks again.

“Don’t be like that. You love visiting your family, just think of it as an opportunity to spend more time with them.” Jisung hears Chenle fall onto his bed on the other side of the line.

“I do love to visit, but my whole family is either younger than nine or older than thirty-five. I just want someone that’s my age to be with me if I feel lonely.” Jisung pouts at that. Chenle is an outgoing person and loves to be around the people he’s comfortable with, so hearing that he gets lonely without his best friend makes Jisung’s heart hurt a bit. However, an idea suddenly pops into his head.

“Hey, you actually do have another friend our age, and I bet she would love to go to China with you.” At the mention of a ‘she,’ the only ‘she’ both Chenle and Jisung know at the moment who would want to hang out, Chenle sits up straighter on his bed and his heart rate speeds up.

“Oh, ___?” He tries to sound nonchalant, “I’m not sure. She would be meeting my family, won’t she think that’s weird? And what if she feels uncomfortable? It’s not like she can just go home—”

“There are lots of what if’s, Chenle. All I know is that she finished her finals and is on break, and probably deserves a small vacation for her hard work.” Jisung pushes, suddenly excited that he can’t come on the trip if it means Chenle can get closer to you. “Just ask her. I promise it won’t hurt.”

“If she says no, it will hurt my pride. So, that’s a lie.”

“Chenle.” Jisung replies flatly.

“Fine, fine, I’ll ask.” Chenle plays with the hem of his shirt, thinking about how nervous he got over this trip just by adding you into the equation. With some last goodbyes and a promise that Chenle will update Jisung about everything that happens this weekend, the call ends. Chenle fidgets through his phone, procrastinating calling you, but when every single app is checked and there is only the phone icon staring back at him, Chenle sighs and finds your contact, pressing the call button.

After meeting you through Jisung, you and Chenle quickly became close friends. You’re both easy-going, prefer staying up late at night, and okay with being lazy at home, so hanging out together is easy to do. It also doesn’t hurt that you’ll eat literally anything Chenle cooks, boosting his pride tenfold when you praise him endlessly for his cooking. Actually, one night at his house after he made dinner and you shared a bottle of wine on the rooftop of his house while looking at the night sky, wishing the light pollution didn’t erase all the stars, that’s when he figured it out.

You’re important to Chenle. So, so important.

He knows he has feelings for you, and that he cares about you deeply. He is aware of your presence whenever you’re in the same room and gets that longing feeling in his stomach when your attention is taken away from him. There is no doubt that Chenle is in the middle of falling head over heels for you, but he always feels the need to keep a few steps back.

He walks on a tightrope, on one end is friendship and on the other is love, and he’s stuck in the middle. You’ve given him hints of attraction and subtle nuances in your words that could possibly mean you have feelings for him as well, but nothing concrete enough that gives Chenle the confidence to walk further along the tightrope.

Maybe, just maybe, this trip can bring you two closer to the end of this balance beam.

“A trip?” Chenle hears excitement in your voice after he explains what happened with Jisung, and he feels hopeful, “That sounds like fun!”

“Great. I’ll pick you up in three hours.” Chenle feels giddy and nervous at the same time, his leg bouncing up and down to portray all of his feelings.

“Oka— Wait. Three hours?”

“Bye!” Chenle abruptly ends the call before you can ask anything else or change your mind, throwing his phone to the other side of the bed. He takes a few deep breaths and then stands up, continuing to pack his things. This time with more skip in his step that’s fueled by the promise of your presence with him for the whole weekend.

It’s already nearing 6pm when you arrive in Shanghai. You follow Chenle closely as he leads you through the airport, looking really confident about every turn he makes as he weaves through the busy and tired looking people. However, you’re both thrown off your path when a large window on your right catches your eye, the night view of the city of Shanghai making you stop in your tracks and swerve to take a closer look.

Your hands smudge the clean windows as you lean in and stare at the enormous city, the sparkling lights and tall buildings look like you just took a flight to the future, not just a few hours south.

“It’s pretty…” You trail off, not really talking to anyone in particular. Chenle, who followed you to the window and also stares at the view from beside you, smiles at the comment.

“You like it?”

“It’s amazing…” You sound like you’re in a daze, which makes Chenle smile wider.

“I should show you the view from the balcony in my room. It’s ridiculous.” Chenle nods and gives the view one more glance over. His words bring you back to reality, making you shiver.

In Chenle’s bedroom… where so many things other than watching the night sky can happen.

You heat up in embarrassment at the dirty thoughts, yelling at yourself in your head for thinking like that when Chenle probably meant it in the most innocent way.

“We should probably get going..” Chenle seems completely oblivious to your predicament, yawning as he turns around and continues walking through the airport. You follow him, lightly biting the inside of your cheek as your previous thoughts fly through your mind again.

The Shanghai airport is crowded, almost over-crowded. After traveling further through the airport, it gets hard to follow Chenle’s leather bucket hat that bobs through the sea of people and you have to grip onto his backpack so that you don’t lose him. He feels the sudden weight on his bag, turning around to see you struggling.

His hand finds yours, making you release the grip on his zippers and instead intertwine with his fingers, turning to look forward and once again leading you to baggage claim. Your hands start to sweat and you feel embarrassed, but Chenle doesn’t seem to mind as he squeezes your fingers softly and glances back at you to make sure you’re okay. He doesn’t let go of your hand until your luggage arrives, and when he does release your hold, you feel very cold and empty from the lack of Chenle’s touch.

“Mom, I’m home!” Chenle yells into his house, dragging his suitcase behind him and taking off his shoes, “I brought a friend.” You both leave your things at the door and Chenle hands you some slippers, then you follow him through the house in search of his mother. You find her in the kitchen, stove on and several pots and pans cooking food at once.

“Chenle!” She exclaims after seeing her son, and then her eyes fall on you.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” You politely greet her, slightly unsure of what her reaction to you will be.

“You didn’t tell me you’d be bringing your girlfriend here.” She laughs gleefully and leaves the stove to come closer, almost jumping on the tile floors over to you.

“Oh, we’re n-” You begin, but Chenle cuts you off.

“Jisung couldn’t come, so I brought ___ here instead. I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, it’s perfectly fine,” She smiles, which makes you relax a bit, “You’ve never brought anyone here other than Jisung, I was beginning to think you don’t know anyone other than him.”

It’s your turn to laugh, covering your mouth as you glance at Chenle to see him roll his eyes with a sour look on his face. Before he can retaliate, his mom cuts him off.

“Well, since you’re here, could you set the table? I’m running late on dinner and I need extra hands. Get out eleven plates and those high chairs we keep in the closet.” She quickly makes her way back to the stove after warmly rubbing your arm, moving faster than your eyes can follow as she adjusts spices and stirs.

“Why so many?” Chenle asks.

“Your aunts and uncles are coming over today.” At that information, you turn to face Chenle with an unsure look painted on your face.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” You step closer to him and whisper, “If you’re having a family dinner, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Of course it’s okay. Don’t even worry about it.” Chenle gently grabs your shoulders and turns you around, forcing you to walk out of the kitchen and back into the foyer. You collect your luggage and head upstairs.

Chenle’s house has an impressive three stories with several bedrooms, an office, and a lounge room in the top two floors and the rest of the important rooms on the first floor. You didn’t see much of the backyard, but you caught sight of several trees that surround the house, making the area more private. Considering this place is close to the city, you’re amazed at how all of this belongs to Chenle and his family.

His room is on the third floor, and you take a look inside when he sets down his things on his bed. The balcony he mentioned earlier is covered with long white curtains and his bed is wide, taking up a good chunk of space. On the other side of the room, a TV hangs on the wall and there are several gaming consoles hooked up. Overall, a normal guy’s room.

“You’re next door…” He mumbles and leads you to the room next to his. The layout is a mirrored version of his room, only the balcony is replaced with large windows and the room is more generic looking rather than lived-in like Chenle’s. You set your things down and glance out of the window; you’re met with the canopy of trees that grow in his backyard.

“And your bathroom is right here,” Chenle’s voice brings you back to the room, showing you inside the bathroom, “And if you need anything, my room is right through here.” He opens a door in the bathroom to reveal his room on the other side. You nod and walk over to the bed, plopping down on the soft covers.

“Your house is amazing. I feel like I’m staying at a fancy AirBnB… but I don’t have to pay for it and there’s a family staying here too.” You both laugh at that, but your comment has you questioning your stay here some more.

“You’re sure it’s okay for me to be here? I don’t want to take your time away from family.” You bite your lip and look up at Chenle, looking for his honest answer. You’d hate for Chenle to not spend all the time he can with his family while he’s here, considering he can’t visit often.

“I am 100% sure that you’re okay to stay here. I think everyone will l-love you.” Chenle clears his throat after his stutter, hoping you wouldn’t question his sudden nerves surrounding the topic of love.

“Okay.” You nod and rub your hands over your thighs to rid yourself of anxiety. You only keep asking because you hate to be an intrusion. But if Chenle is sure that your presence here is okay, then you’re going to enjoy this vacation to the best of your abilities.

“You get settled, I’ll go help my mom. I’ll get you when dinner is ready.” Chenle turns around to leave the room, but you stop him.

“Oh, I can help. It’s the least I can do, and it seems like there’s a lot to get ready.”

“But you’re a guest—”

“I don’t mind.” You smile and leave the room first, looking over your shoulder as if to beckon him to try and stop you. Chenle doesn’t, partially because he wants to spend any second he can with you, even if it’s just setting the dinner table. But he also doesn’t stop you because that would mean grabbing onto your hand and pulling you back, and Chenle almost had a heart attack at the airport the first time he did that. Thinking back on it, the action felt natural but it still startled him, and he can’t get the feeling of how your soft hands feel in his own out of his head.

“Hey, wait up! You’ll get lost.” Chenle calls out and quickly follows you out of the room.

Chenle’s family loves you. In fact, Chenle thinks they love you just a little too much.

From his mom cooing at you as you help Chenle properly set the table to his aunts and uncles endlessly talking about your hobbies and school, it seems like you’re the life of the party tonight. However, that’s not what catches Chenle’s eye.

As he’s carrying some drinks to his dad and uncles who decided to sit outside after eating, Chenle passes by the living room to see you and his nieces and nephews playing. You’re reading a book to one of the younger kids while the others are coloring next to you and constantly showing you their art, seeking your approval or ideas on what they should draw next. Chenle’s two older nephews are playing tag around the table, and overall it’s just a whole ruckus. Chenle only has a chance to glance into the room for a second before continuing his trip outside to deliver the drinks.

As he’s coming back in, he’s startled by his older nephews who took their game of tag out into the hallway, almost running into Chenle.

“Woah, woah, woah. You shouldn’t be running in the hallway, get back in the living room.” Chenle ushers the boys back and once all of them are in the living room, he shuts the doors completely to keep anyone from going back out. His eyes land on you, you’re in the same position as you were before, but now you look up at Chenle and give him a warm smile while patting the spot next to you.

Chenle sits with his legs crossed while facing the same direction as you, looking over his niece's artwork and complimenting their scribbling, and then leaning back against the couch to mirror your position.

“I guess it’s more fun to play with the kids than with the adults?” Chenle asks, making your attention move from the TV screen where a kid’s movie is playing to meet Chenle’s eyes.

“Don’t you find it fun to play with kids? I think there’s never a dull moment with these guys.” You laugh and motion around the room as if to make your point.

“So, you like kids?” Chenle asks.

“Yes, a lot.” You nod, watching him look away and nod at your words. “What about you?”

“My nieces and nephews are… a bit too wild for me.” He admits, “But I like kids. I would like to have my own kids in the future.” Chenle speaks without really thinking about his words, just talking to you about anything is nice. When he realizes what he said at the end, his eyes glance over at you to gage your reaction.

“Same here. There’s some special sort of happiness that comes with having kids. I see it all the time on mothers’ faces, and I always wonder what it feels like. I bet you can’t really find that kind of feeling anywhere else in the world.” You muse, and Chenle quickly agrees with your sentiment, involuntarily gulping as the thoughts in his head rampage.

Could you get anymore perfect for him?

You look down at your thigh, for some reason not being able to look at Chenle in the eye. “I think… You’ll be a really good father, Chenle.”

Just from your simple words, Chenle’s heart begins to pound in his ears and warmth spreads through his chest. He watches you shyly look up at him, not being able to do anything but stare at you for fear of his body moving without his control.

“Can you please read again.” His youngest niece breaks the staring contest between you two with her question, pulling your gaze away from him. When your attention is on his niece, he quietly slips out of the room and stumbles up the stairs to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

He paces around his bed, his hands running through his hair as he tries to figure out

what just happened. You said you like kids. You said you would like kids in the future. You also said you think Chenle would make a good father. Are you purely giving him compliments or… could you be hinting at something else?

Why does Chenle feel like his heart might explode any second if he keeps thinking about you. On second thought, he looks down, his pants might be the thing that explodes. Chenle sighs, slightly embarrassed that he got hard by just thinking about you.

You looked so cute playing with his nieces and nephews, so kind and genuinely warm hearted to them that it melted Chenle’s heart. He wants to see it again. He wants to see you reading a book to them and changing your voice for every character, listening intently as they tell you story after story, rubbing their backs gently as they color.

Chenle wants to see you like that with his kids.

His own thought scares him a bit, and he sits down on his bed while trying to calm his breathing. He’s even more surprised at the shot of pleasure that runs through him at his own idea. He feels his stomach turn pleasantly at the thought of a little you and him running around, you showing your love to both Chenle and your child.

Warmth grows in Chenle's heart; he wants it so bad.

He can imagine the picture so clearly in his head that it hurts him to think about it, since he knows he’s far from that point in his life. That doesn’t stop him from getting turned on, though. He digs the heel of his palms into his eyes and breathes deeply, trying to think of something —anything— else. Why is it that whenever you’re around, he can’t think of anything, but whenever you’re not around, he can only think of you?

‘It’s useless’ he sighs, scooting up on his bed and moving his bedsheets away.

Sitting against his head board, Chenle grips his sheets in one hand and his other slides down his stomach, tickling him slightly, and over his crotch. Swallowing thickly, he closes his eyes and focuses on his warm hand stimulating his member. He can’t help but let out a soft sigh at his own teasing, but soon has had enough and quickly pushes down his pants and boxers to let his dick spring out. Using some precum that glistens as it runs down the side of his dick, he starts pumping his shaft, eventually getting fully hardened.

His wrist turns every time he reaches the end of a pump and he slides down the headboard as his eyes flutter from the pleasure. Chenle is good at staying quiet thanks to the years of practice in his full house, but he can’t help the whines he emits every so often when his fingers move over his tip.

But soon, Chenle turns frustrated. He’s doing all the things he knows his body likes, but his orgasm is just too far away still. He becomes impatient, starting to shift his hips around and rub his length faster as sweat builds on his forehead, but it only hurts his wrist and makes him itch for his orgasm more.

Every time Chenle thinks of you while getting off, he feels a bit guilty.

He hopes you don’t mind it, but you hold a place in his heart and Chenle is very attracted to you, it’s impossible to think of anyone else when he’s in this position. So, Chenle takes a breather, and when he continues his stroking, he thinks about your tiny hand replacing his instead. His eyes immediately roll to the back of his head and he finds it hard to keep himself sitting up.

Chenle’s head is tilted back, his jaw dropping open bit by bit as he moves on to thinking about your warmth mouth around his cock, the way your face would look as you glance up at him and kiss up his thighs before sliding his member through your lips again.

Chenle has to shove the duvet he has been gripping into his mouth to stop the moan that almost leaves his throat, his eyes screwing shut as he imagines how good your wet pussy would feel around his dick, sliding in and out as you chase your own release. He loses composure when he imagines what your pants and moans would sound like in that situation, what your nails would feel like gripping onto his shoulder for dear life, and what the flesh of your hips and waist would feel like under Chenle’s hands as he drives you harder onto his cock.

Chenle eventually starts thrusting his hips up into his hand, desperately chasing his high to the very highest peak. Chenle has thought about you many times while jerking himself off, but this time around, the thing that makes him tip over the edge is the thought of his cum shooting into you. He lets himself fall into the pleasure, seeing stars at the thought of his seed filling you up. He milks himself as strings of cum land on his thighs and pants, going to the very last stroke until it almost feels painful.

He limply falls over on his bed, breathing heavy and ears slightly ringing from the intensity he brought upon himself. When the feeling goes away he opens his eyes and listens to the sounds of the commotion downstairs, his mom and aunties playing with the kids, and the cars that drive by outside his balcony. When he looks over at the bathroom door, his heart drops all the way to his stomach and his head turns fuzzy from panic.

You’re right there.

Maybe you think he doesn’t see you, half hidden by his bathroom door, but he sees your hand resting on the handle and he hears your heavy breaths all the way from across the room. A part of him wants to dig himself into the covers and never come back out, but he pushes that embarrassment away so he can think clearly. You’re just standing there, no doubt just saw him come, why aren’t you leaving?

“___,” Chenle calls out, his voice lower than you expected and making you flinch behind the door. “Come here.” He says it softly, but in a demanding tone, so you open the door all the way and look at him. A mess of sheets surrounds him and his hair sticks to his forehead from sweat, all of this is illuminated by the dim moonlight coming from the balcony. Taking small steps to him, you don’t know what to do with your hands or where to look, but Chenle makes it easy when he pulls you down on the bed next to him.

“Did you like what you saw?” His question startles you, “Tell me the truth.” He adds on. You nod, a question of your own coming to mind.

“Why did you say my name when you were doing… that?” Chenle’s eyes widen, not aware of your name slipping through his lips. “Tell me the truth.” You say back at him.

Something in Chenle tells him that things won’t be the same way between you two after tonight no matter how he tries to amend this situation, so he thinks he might as well take it as far as you’ll let him.

He leans into you slowly, lips sliding past your cheek and teasing the skin there, stopping to whisper into the shell of your ear. “Because I was thinking of you, why else?” He likes how you shiver, he likes seeing the goosebumps on your shoulder from his words. Scraping up as much courage as he can, he leans all the way in and places a hot kiss below your earlobe. He waits for you to push him away, but you only grab onto the front of his shirt for leverage, so Chenle continues. He presses slow and open-mouthed kisses down your neck, almost too slow, until he reaches your shoulder where he bites down gently, raising a sharp gasp out of you.

You push him away and look at his eyes. Chenle is afraid that you’ll tell him to stop because this surely means he screwed up, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the next words that come out of your mouth.

“Tell me what you were thinking about. I’ll make your dreams into reality.”

Chenle’s jaw drops slowly at that, looking over your face for any signs of a joke. But fire burns in your eyes and the hand that’s holding onto his shirt pulls him in, lips crashing together in your very first kiss.

It’s hot, the room and the kiss and the way your hand falls down to chest and stomach to reach his dick, once again twitching from just the slight sting your nails give him as they travel across his body, not to mention the way your tongue slides into his mouth, exploring every corner. The kiss is wet and messy, but neither of you care right now.

“Was it like this? Hm?” You pull away while tilting your head, somehow looking innocent as you start to pump his dick, the same way he did not too long ago. Chenle shakes his head, pushing on your shoulder to get you to sit on the floor. As you slide onto your knees Chenle grips the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, wiping his hands on it, and throwing it behind him, not caring about how dirty it will be after.

When he looks down at you between his legs, your little hands moving his pants and boxers all the way down his legs, he thinks he must be dreaming. It has to be fake, you look too good with his spit covering your lips and your hands spread out on his thighs, looking up at him curiously as if to ask for what he wants next. This has to be a dream, but when he feels your soft hair bunching up in his hand and the first touch of your puffy lips on his sensitive tip, he knows this is anything but a dream.

He’s all too excited when his hips push up into your mouth and his hand tightens in your hair. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he can’t help how good you’re making him feel. His toes curl, his mouth releases little whimpers and pleas filled with your name, probably the most vocal he has been in his entire life.

You don’t mind the roughness from him, you like it actually, the wetness building in your core proof of that. The sight above you, Chenle’s head tilted back and the outline of his abs flexing every time your tongue swirls around his dick is more than enough to get you heated, desperate for some friction between your legs. Just when you think Chenle is going to cum, he pulls you away from him, surprising you.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, suddenly afraid you did something wrong. He groans, his eyes squeezing shut hard enough that the dimples under his eyes come out. He lets you stand up, but grabs the back of your thigh to pull you closer to him.

“I should be good to you, I can’t let you sit on the floor and suck my dick all night, as much as I would like that.” That makes you chuckle a bit. Chenle smiles, moving your shirt up and peppering kisses over your stomach, right above your waistband. You remove your shirt, feeling Chenle’s hands play with the buttons and zipper of your pants.

“What’s next?” You ask after he slowly slides your pants off of your legs and throws them behind you. He looks at you, his eyes conveying how nervous he feels by your question. He’s not sure how you would feel about the next part of his fantasy.

“Can I come in you?” He asks so fast that you almost don’t register his words, but when you do your eyebrows quirk up. When you don’t say anything, Chenle continues, “I know this is kind of wild for our first time together, but I promise I’m clean and—”

“Sure.” Chenle shuts up at that, his eyes wide as he tries to read your face through the lack of good lighting. “I trust you. Do you trust me?” When Chenle nods, you climb onto his lap, your lips meeting again in a softer kiss than before. You grip the strands of his hair in the back of his head as you gently sit down on his thighs. Chenle immediately grabs your hips and pulls you flush against him, chest to chest and hips against hips so that you can feel his dick pressing against your center, raising a strangled gasp out of you.

Chenle takes that moment to slide his tongue in your mouth, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you against him while his other hand moves your hips against his own. His dick rubs against your center, the slickness that has seeped through your underwear making Chenle shake with pleasure. He kisses down your neck and chest to leave hickies on the top of your breasts while continuing to grind up into you, starting to feel obsessed with how you sound every time his dick rubs against your clit.

You’re in the middle of taking off your bra when his hand that was moving your hips moves to your front as he runs two fingers over your covered slit. It surprises you and you let out a moan, forgetting about your bra and covering your mouth to stop yourself from getting any louder. He moves your panties to the side and slides one finger in to test the waters, you clench around him instantly and sigh in relief at how he curls his finger in you.

“Relax,” He mutters and removes your bra all the way for you, his hand once again finding a palace at your waist to steady you on top of him, “I got you. You’re safe with me.” He mumbles against your shoulder between kisses as you get adjusted on top of him. Your nails that were gripping into his shoulders relax a bit, and he adds a second finger to stretch you out some more. Your shaky breath tickles Chenle’s ears when he does so, but eventually you start grinding down on his fingers.

Chenle takes a moment to watch you grind onto his hand, your eyes shut as you’re completely lost in your own pleasure. You even look pretty like this, how is that fair? Chenle can’t help but express his feelings in the form of kisses over any part of your skin he can reach. You’re pretty sure he has kissed everywhere by the time he pulls his fingers away, making you turn your attention on him.

“Are you sure this is okay?” He gives you one last chance to back out, but you nod your head in agreement, your head cloudy from pleasure and your whole body begging for him to fuck you already. He nods too, guiding his dick into your hole and letting you slide down him inch by inch. Every move downward sends his mind blank and his stomach tightening, watching how he disappears into you and twitching from how tight you are. You keep clenching around him and it’s driving him completely insane. He leans back on his hands, breathing deeply to keep himself under control.

When you’re sat all the way down, Chenle takes your hand in his and intertwines your fingers together to place your hand against his cheek. You’re not sure if he even realizes he does this since his eyes are still shut in pleasure, but the gesture makes you smile a bit.

When Chenle thrusts up into you, your smile drops. Fuck, that feels good.

Chenle releases your hand and instead takes a hold of your hips keeping you steady as he thrusts up into you in a steady rhythm, drawing out unstoppable groans and moans from both of you, not caring about who’s hearing you two. His hips slap against yours with every move, sending you closer and closer to your high as you hold onto each other. When he stops for a moment, no doubt tired from all of the work, you continue to roll your hips against his.

“Ah—” He groans at your movements, “Oh my god, ___, don’t stop.” He moans. If you thought Chenle’s singing voice sounded heavenly, then you think the voice he used to moan your name might be out of this world, filled with so much feeling and lust that you don’t think he can even register what he’s saying anymore.

You feel your orgasm approaching all too fast, and when Chenle’s hips start to move again, you think he might be close too. That’s when you lean into his ear, the same way he did to you when he started all of this just a while ago.

“Come in me, Chenle.” You beg him, and his hips move faster, the grip he has on your hips so tight you’re sure there’s going to be bruises. You can’t think about it right now, though, as his cock moves in and out of you mercilessly and your name tumbles out of his lips once again.

Your orgasm breaks open throughout you, spreading like a wildfire through your nerves. You’re sure you can feel Chenle all over you and all around you as you come, pleasure filling you up from your head to your toes. As your muscles flutter around him, Chenle lets go too, white and hot springs of his sperm shoot into you. He continues to fuck it into you, slowing down when he feels both of you almost topple over from fatigue.

He slowly lays down in his bed, careful when he rolls you to the side. Sliding his dick out, he watches his white seed flow out of your pussy and down your thigh, his lips opening in awe and surprise at how much he likes the sight.

“Are you okay?” He asks, suddenly realizing the redness around your hips and waist from his own hands.

“Oh, I’m great. I’m wonderful, actually.” You sigh out, your eyes closed as you are still trying to get over the orgasm Chenle gave you. Your words make him chuckle, a bit of cockiness peaking through.

“Huh, I guess I’m that good, yeah?” Chenle makes sure to send you a closed lip smile, and you peak an eye open to hit him gently against the arm before retracting and falling limp again, both of you not able to control your bubbling laughter.

Chenle always imagined what the other side of the balance beam would look like— how it would feel like. Now, as he looks at your messy hair, your shining skin under the moonlight, and your quiet mumbles about random things as you cuddle under the blanket, he thinks it may feel just like this.

Later, after you and Chenle cleaned up a bit and got situated under the covers with you laying your head on his shoulder and him tracing stars, hearts, and the Chinese characters of his name on your back, Chenle gets a phone call.

“Hey, how are you? How’s it going with ___?” Jisung asks on the other side. Once you hear his voice, you perk up and tilt your head to look at Chenle with a raised eyebrow.

“Everything’s good, really good, actually. How’s your family?” Chenle asks back, stopping his tracing for a second to flick your forehead gently, making you slightly scowl at him.

“Good, my mom didn’t cut my tongue off, as you can probably tell.” Chenle lets some air out of his nose in the form of laughter at Jisung’s joke.

“So, why did you call?” Chenle hums into the phone, burying himself closer to you under the covers.

“Don’t you remember? You said you would update me on anything that happens while you’re over there. Did something happen?” Jisung asks and Chenle can’t contain his smile as he answers.

“Park Jisung, I’m so glad you couldn’t come this weekend.”

“What? What does that mean—”

“I’m hanging up now.” Chenle ends the call, throwing his phone somewhere on the bed and wrapping his arm around you, cuddling closer to you and finally falling asleep.

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boldlyvoid · 3 years ago

Text

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Four

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, discussion of previous sexual relationships with older men (big age gaps), kink talks, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), fingering, 69ing... its really dirty i hope i got it all

word count: 3.8k

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Four | Masterlist

Waking up beside Spencer is an absolute blessing, he is the most tender and loving man in the whole world and she’s never going to get enough of him. He snuggles so tight, he holds her just right and he’s just big enough that she fits against him like she’s always supposed to have been there.

Her alarm goes off at 10:30 and he doesn’t even budge, she struggles to get out of his grasp to turn it off before he just pulls her right back in.

“I could get used to this,” she coo’s as she relaxes back into his embrace.

He kisses the back of her neck and one of his hands cups her breast. He runs his nose along her skin as he takes it all in, “I can come back every night.”

“Okay,” she smiles at the thought. “Are you coming with me to Brookfield today?”

He hums, “I have something to pick up first but I’ll be back to pick you up.”

“Do you want to meet Craig?” She asks nervously, knowing he knows.

“I’m not sure,” he’s honest. “It’s weird thinking he’s slept with you and he has a thing for my mother.”

“As weird as it was, I don’t regret it, he was really lonely after Patsy died and hadn’t slept with anyone in years,” she explains it again to him, it’s easier than the first time.

“I’m not judging you,” he whispers before kissing her again.

“I know,” she rolls over while still in his grip, pressing her chest against his and kissing him quickly before remembering her own rule, “pretend it’s still dark out.”

He laughs, “was he at least good to you?”

“Are you really asking me if the old man I fucked was good in bed?” She rolls her eyes with a laugh, “it was fine, I was used to just laying there and taking it back then.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes for her past experiences knowing he can change them and that she's content with them, “can I make it up to you?”

“It's not my birthday,” she teases him once more.

“Then why are you in your birthday suit?” He kisses her neck as her back arches, giving him the access to do whatever he pleased.

This was her favourite part of sleeping with him, he was handsy and he kissed everywhere. He was so tentative, he was gentile and sensual and she loved him. The way he kissed her body, his hands on her back as she arched, grinding against him as his leg slipped between hers.

“Daddy?” She’s already breathless as she anticipates whatever he’s going to do to her.

He hums, “what baby?”

“Can we try something?” She looks at him with puppy dog eyes, wanting more of him and knowing exactly how to get it.

“What?” He looks from her eyes to her lips and back.

She smirks, “lay back?”

He does as she asks and she makes a quick move to straddle him, reverse cowgirl, and it makes him gasp. He hooks his arms under her legs and pulls her hips towards his face as she grips his cock at the base.

She’s never done this before, excited to finally experience her two favourite things at once, with her favourite person. Taking him in one go down her throat as far as she can, he moans against her thigh as he works his way towards her dripping core.

He pulls her in closer, burying his tongue inside of her as she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock, stroking what doesn’t fit in her mouth. She moans around him as he sucks her clit into his mouth. When he slides a finger into her, she gasps as she runs her tongue along the shaft, “more please, daddy?”

He adds a second finger and curls it with each thrust, she strokes him in time with his fingers rubbing her tongue on the slit, pushing him closer and closer and closer until he’s moaning into her cunt as he finger fucks her relentlessly.

She cums on his face with a quake, her whole body shaking as she sucks one of his balls into her mouth and keeps jerking him. He cums over her hand then, finally releasing her clit from his mouth, they both sigh as they come down from their highs.

She rolls off him, feet on her pillow and hand cupping her own breast as she tries to catch her breath, “yeah, I can get used to waking up next to you.”

—

“Bullshit!”

Y/N reaches for the apparent 3 4’s that Craig dropped in the pile, filling them to see he was indeed truthful and handing them to Diana. “You’re slacking today.”

“I do so much better when I don’t know who he is,” Diana smirks as she takes the cards.

“Speaking of,” she smiles to herself as she looks through her own cards, “your son, Spencer, is coming to see you today.”

“How do you know that?”

“I might be dating Spencer,” she scrunches her face in anticipation of her reaction.

“Really?”

She nods, a smile building on her face as she starts to feel a bit flustered, “yeah, I met him last year and we’ve been friends for a while but it’s getting serious, so I thought I’d tell you.”

She’s quiet as she thinks about it and Y/N’s anxiety goes to full blast, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” Diana asks.

“For not telling you and pretending I don’t know him,” she's quick with her response. “He knows we know each other from your notes but we didn’t talk about it until last night, I feel so bad keeping that from you but I've known him the whole time.”

“I was going to introduce you to each other in the hopes you would take care of him, you’re wonderful and he needs someone who he doesn’t have to look after. I’ve thought you would be good for him for quite a while actually,” Diana compliments her with a smile. “Try calling bullshit on that.”

It makes her laugh, leaning over into Diana’s space as she wrapped her arms around Y/N, “well as good as I am to him, he’s even better to me.”

Holding Diana was nice, she missed her moms so much that it was a good substitute until she saw her own again.

“How did you meet?”

Y/N pulls back with a stutter, “uh, well we met online actually and he took me to dinner and we got to talking and we’ve been really good friends for a while, he uh, he’s the reason I’m getting my book published.”

“Really?” She blinks a few times the way Spencer does when he tries to absorb information.

She wasn’t dumb, she knew her son had money and he was a lot older than her and that meeting on the internet isn’t as innocent as it sounds.

“He’s my best friend.”

She smiles again, “that’s the key to a successful relationship.”

Craig was quiet the whole time, staring at his cards and drinking his water while they talked. “For what it’s worth,” he adds, “I think he’s lucky to have you, you’re a good woman.”

Y/N’s so busy looking at Craig with a smile that she doesn’t notice Spencer walk-in or the way Diana gleams at him. He walks up behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder, “Hey, pretty woman.”

She jumps slightly before laughing, he wraps his arms around her and kisses her cheek quickly, “hey mom,” he makes his way from Y/N to Diana.

Hugging her quickly before coming to sit beside Y/N again, he notices Craig too and waves, “nice to meet you as well, sir.”

She analyzes his face as he looks at Craig, worried that he’s going to go full alpha male and start a fight or something crazy like her old boyfriends would. But he smiles and he’s calm, he holds her hand and they play another few rounds of cards and it's like they’ve all been friends for years.

Visiting hours are about to come to an end when Spencer finally brings it up, “how would you feel if I moved to LA for a little while?”

She’s really confused, “are you getting a transfer at work?”

“No, Y/N has a job offer and I’d like to go with her,” he’s honest with his mom, it’s easier than with anyone else. “I’ll travel here whenever you need me, and once a week just to say hello.”

“Or I can finally go back to Vegas,” she says it like she’s been thinking about it for a while. “I miss my friends and my sister, Spencer.”

“And I’m thinking about moving there as well so my pneumonia isn’t as bad this winter,” Craig adds, sitting closer to Diana than before and taking her hand.

Spencer looks very uncomfortable and Y/N can feel it radiating off him, “my moms are also in Vegas, it would be nice for all of you to be close.”

“I think that would be nice,” Spencer agrees, “and then we can just take a short trip to Vegas once a week to visit with you.”

“That would be lovely,” Diana smiles, “even on my bad days I don’t forget who Craig is to me, I know he’s my best friend in here and I’m really glad you’re comfortable with this.”

Spencer smiles, it’s awkward for him to know everything that he knows, and by the way Craig looks at him, he knows Spencer knows.

“Please, just take care of her,” is all Spencer has to say to him. “I’ve already been to prison once.”

“Spencer,” Diana scolds him while trying not to laugh at the absurdity.

“I’m kidding,” he smiles, “I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“It’s only taken us 30 years,” she reaches out a hand for Spencers, “but we did it.”

It’s a beautiful moment that Y/N gets to witness, she holds a hand to her heart as Spencer wraps his arms around his mom. She was doing amazing, she was happy and even happier that Spencer was happy.

“We did it,” Spencer agrees, holding her close, always a mama’s boy at heart.

—

They stop at his apartment on the way home, he needed some things for the next 2 days and his suitcase for this weekend. His apartment was always so dark and cold, the green was beautiful but it was far too sad. It didn’t feel like Spencer, it didn’t have his energy or personality, it was just a few walls and a bunch of books.

She sits on his couch and touches her necklace, remembering when he gave it to her and how she thanked him. He was rummaging around in his room without her, leaving her with time to just think about sucking him off on this couch, being between his legs, the feeling of him in her mouth, knowing she already had him this morning but she still wants him again.

She gets up from her seat and walks into his bedroom, pushing him up against the wall, he’s a little startled but he smirks, “what?”

“Is there a word for ravenous for dick?” She teases.

“Horny,” he responds with a giggle, “ovulating? Frustrated, deprived, desperate... slut.”

“I like the last 2 together.”

“What else do you like?” He whispers as she leans in to brush their noses together, “we’ve never discussed your needs, you’ve always just asked about mine, but this isn’t all about me.”

“It was when you were paying me,” she rationalizes, “I’m pretty basic, I’ll try anything once.”

“But what do you like the most?”

“You,” she’s honest. “How big you are for one, the fact you can just throw me around like a rag doll if you wanted… I like your hands, and your mouth and I like how you talk, I like how sweet you are, I like how we could do the dirtiest fucking things in the whole world with each other. I like that we could do the roughest, kinkiest and most intense scenes and yet I’m completely safe with you.”

He swallows and his Adam's apple bobs right in her view, she can’t help herself from kissing his neck, licking along the pulse point before sucking a deep purple mark into his skin, “what do you like besides me?”

“Praise,” she whispers.

“Good girl.”

“Mild degradation,” she kisses his neck again and starts to unbutton his shirt. “Spanking, raw missionary and messy kisses,” every new thing comes with a kiss as her hands reach down to palm him through his slacks, “pleasing my partner, knowing you get off to me, watching, being watched, belonging to you.”

He takes her chin in his hands and makes her look up at him, “in what sense?”

“Mark me, claim me, breed me,” she whispers and his eyes darken, she swears there is a growl that leaves his throat.

“I want everyone to know I’m yours, show everyone who I belong to, let everyone know only you can please me and show them that no one is better for me than my daddy.”

“You’re evil saying all this knowing I'm not going to fuck you yet,” his voice has never been this low, his eyes are black and the grip he has on her is so tight it makes her gasp.

“You asked,” she smirks, “and if you expect me to be an obedient little submissive, you’re very wrong. "

He gulps and the mood changes very quickly.

"I’m a brat and I’m a switch, and I have more control here than you do.” She tightens her grip around his cock and he whimpers, “that’s what I thought.”

She undoes his button and takes him out, licking her palm while making eye contact with him, she then wraps her hand around him and pumps up and down his shaft. Gathering his precum that’s collected from simply listening to her, his hand on her chin had made its way into her hair and his other grips her hip tighter than ever before.

“I want to fuck all day long,” she whispers, leaning in more and brushing her bottom lip against his, “I want you to come and find me when you’re bored and just bend me over and take me, I want to just sit on your lap while to read and ride you, I want to fall asleep with you deep inside me and wake up full of your cum.”

He tosses his head back against the wall, groaning as she slows her movements. She drags her hand up, squeezing at the head as he thrusts back into her hand, all she can think about is how good it’s going to be when he’s pushing inside of her, not just in her fist.

“Does it feel good, daddy?” She teases him again, “are you thinking about my tight little pussy? Hmm?”

“Gonna cum,” he whispers.

“I don’t think that's how you ask.”

His hips sputter as he fucks her hand, “please, mommy?”

It’s so unexpectedly hot she clenches around nothing, aching for him with how horny she is, she drops to the floor, wrapping her mouth around the head, he cums within seconds. She pumps every last drop onto her tongue before standing and connecting their mouths once more, swapping his cum back into his own mouth, but he doesn’t swallow.

He simply picks her up and tosses her onto the bed, pulling her jeans and panties down and off one leg to expose her dripping pussy. He lifts her hips and spreads her open, running a finger over her clit before spitting his own cum into her.

It’s such a sight, she gasps at the feeling. It’s so hot and wet and then he’s pushing it in with two fingers and fucking them into her. Rubbing her clit at the same time, she cums by surprise, it’s so intense all she can do is grip her breasts and wrap her legs around him for support. She trembles, moaning and whining as he keeps going, curling his fingers just right to rub her g-spot and keep the sensation roaring as long as she lets him.

She lives in the feeling as long as possible before it starts to get to be too much, “okay,” she’s breathless and exhausted, lying there with her eyes closed when he pulls his fingers out of her, falling asleep from how relaxed her whole body is.

—

Spencer was in her bathroom brushing his teeth for the night while she slipped into her PJs.

She felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas Eve, thinking about how exciting tomorrow would be that the prospect of sleeping seemed almost impossible. She couldn’t wait to hold him and snuggle him and feel the way he kisses her shoulder when he rolls over. She loves him so much that sleeping beside him is almost more important to her than anything else they do together.

Because when he sleeps, his guard is down. When he sleeps beside someone, it’s because he’s truly and fully safe with them. He’s told her about all the people he’s slept with, how many of them didn’t stay the night and how many he’s walked out on. She knows he’s not a fan of sleepovers from his childhood and he’s never been in a long-term relationship to even consider sharing a bed with someone before her.

In the beginning, he didn’t want to sleep beside her because he knew he’d catch feelings, she understood and so they bought a pull-out couch for her apartment. He would sleep in her living room and she would lay awake in her bed thinking about how much better it would be if she could cuddle with him until she drifted off to sleep.

She crawls into her bed and watches the bathroom door as she rubs hand lotion into her skin, hoping he actually comes back to her like he promised and doesn’t retreat to the living room. She smiles at him when the door opens and his sight goes right to her wrists as she smoothes the lotion over her skin.

“I forgot to give you your present today,” he gasps and rushes to his suit jacket in the closet.

He comes back to bed with another box, “how much jewellery are you going to buy me?”

“Two more of the gifts are jewellery,” he smiles as he opens the box for her.

It’s a silver bracelet with diamonds and Rubys in a heart shape, like the necklace in pretty woman turned into a bracelet. It’s so pretty she doesn’t know how to react, “you’re crazy, you know that?”

He nods with a smile, “crazy for you.”

“Don’t,” she raises her brows with her pointer finger raised, shushing him. “You know what being all lovey-dovey does to me, and I'm tired.”

It makes him laugh, “I’m just going to leave this on the dresser.”

She takes it from him and stops him from getting up, “no, I’ll just leave it on here, just get into bed, please?” She moves it to her night table and pulls the sheets back so he can get into bed with her. She turns off the lamp on her night table and watches him lay back on his side of the bed.

She snuggles into his chest and places her face in the crook of his neck. Holding him as close as humanly possible, he smells like home and safety.

“I love you so much, Spencer,” she whispers it, feeling very needy and emotional and she has no idea why.

He simply kisses the top of her head while soothing his hand over her back, “I love you just as much, Y/N.”

It was rare for them to use each other's real names, so much of their time together was spent in silence but when it wasn’t, they referred to each other with a long list of different pet names. It made it less personal, it kept their real lives separate and created a world where they just existed with each other.

A world where he wasn’t Spencer Reid with 3 PH.D.s, a drug problem and a sick mother. When he was with her he was just a guy who liked to explore. He was her buddy who took her to museums and concerts, he was her daddy who held her hand when they walked to the park together to play chess, he was her sweetheart on nights when he cried and needed some love.

Tonight he’s just Spencer.

He’s everything he’s been before and nothing like his old self all at the same time. He’s constantly having a breakthrough, he’s broken through ceilings of grief and trauma, grown past the names he’s been called and adjusted to the fact this is how his life is and he's not as evil as he thinks he is.

He’s happy and content. He’s so much different now than how he was when she met him and while he likes to thank her for that, he always had the power to get here. It was a long road to recovery, he just happened upon her on the path and brought her along for the journey and now she’s never going to leave him.

“Are you crying?” He asks, bringing her back to reality to notice that yes, she is indeed crying.

She nods and sniffles, wiping her tears with his t-shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Hey,” he pets her hair and waits for her to look up at him. “What do you say when I apologize for crying?”

“Don’t apologize, your feelings are important to feel so you can move past them,” she whispers the mantra her parents raised her on, something that really helped him.

“I'm not crying because I’m hurting,” she whispers. “I’m crying because you’re not anymore.”

“What?”

She realizes it comes out weird, “I’m proud of you, and I’m happy that I get to love you now.”

“How long have you loved me?” There’s a small sadness in his voice like he wishes he could have moved faster for her.

“Since you told me you’d help me get my book published just for going to museums with you,” she whispers, “because you saw me as talented and worthy of greatness and you wanted to help me succeed instead of wanting to pay me to suck your dick in a more legal way.”

“I was in it for a friend,” he’s said it before, “it was easier to pay someone to hang out with me than stumble across someone who would understand me this well.”

“I can’t imagine you just going to a park and striking up conversations with someone,” she laughs, “I think it was just meant to happen like this.”

He sighs, “I’d do it again.”

“What?” She’s too tired and sad to follow his train of thought.

“I’d go through all the pain and trauma again, exactly the same way if it brings me right back here. Right to you.”

She pulls back from his neck and connects her lips to his faster than ever before, kissing him deeply as she cries again.

“I love you,” she whispers against his lips between kisses, he whispers it right back.

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @encyclo-reid-ia @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @anaagraceeberr @idonotexiste

Sugar daddy fic

@mggs-sidehoe @bakugouswh0r3 @mggskneescrews @moonlight-2-6 @spencerreidscumwhore @my-thoughts-are-weird @violetclifford @youabitchhhh @bunny-script @baby-i-am-fireproof @moondustmemories @rexorangecouny @minervaonmars @onlyhereforthefanfics @anonymous-reading @go2sleepducky @beepbooptoop @emma-is-a-nerd

@ne--yo-pets @valerieweasley @coldlilheart @andiebeaword @bingereid

some just wont tag no matter what I do, idk why tho

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #mdm #sugar daddy spencer

455 notes · View notes

sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 3 years ago

Text

Appointment Scheduled

Summary- 2.7k Ransom Drysdale x Reader. Since that night at your parents, you haven't been to see Ransom. Not that he wasn't always on your mind. But you continue to defend your 'FWB' term that is all he is. Ransom gets tired of receiving physical silence from you.

So he made himself an appointment.

Warnings- somewhat mad mean Ransom, reader in denial of her feelings, some in the office over the desk sex. This is a cheater fic, the reader is cheating on her boyfriend and Ransom is encouraging this. Please if this bothers you, do not read it.

A/N- another self-indulgent fic featuring these two? Yes please, it's what I wanted, so it's what I wrote. As always, thank you for reading, comments and reblogging. You all have to thank @sagechanoafterdark for Ellie showing up in the story. We were talking that the reader needs a best friend who is like "Duh, you two are meant to be, it is so obvious." to our reader.

Masterlist

“Ellie no I haven't seen him since my dad's birthday party. I mean a few messages here and there, but nothing more about meeting up.”

You hear your best friend scoff on the other line. She was your confidante, your tried and true, better or worse, the bitch who will help you bury the body friend.

She also lacked sugar coating anything.

“Well, you two are just dumb. One of you has to open that line of conversation, might as well be you.”

You hit the button to the lift, sighing into the phone as you watched the numbers ding. “I don’t know what conversation you are talking about El.”

“Uh, the one where you two have been in love with each other since basically middle school? The one where whenever you feel lonely, that's the man you call? Or how about the one how he runs to you whenever you even put out a HINT that you might need him? That one Y/N.”

“We are just fuck buddies-”

“Really good, rock your world, the best sex and head you’ve ever gotten, buddy. Right?” Ellie’s tone is dripping with sarcasm now and you pinch your nose in aggravation while stepping onto the elevator.

“Exactly like that.” You go a bit quiet. “Listen, I’m at work, so talk later, okay?”

“Sure, I miss you. I wish you would move back to the city.” Ellie softened her tone a bit. “Girls weekend soon? I love you.”

“I love you too and of course!” You hit the end button and stuff it in your bag, staying quiet the rest of the ride up.

Working as a lawyer's assistant wasn’t too bad. Although it's often said couples shouldn't work together, you hardly saw Neil while you were there. He was usually in some kind of pissing match with another DA in the building, which made for some interesting rants from him when he got home.

You dutifully listened, but with little interest. They got old and boring, which was how you were feeling in this ‘safe relationship.’

Really you felt something must be fucked up with you. Neil was a good guy, supportive, he didn't have much of a jealous streak, although you wished once in a while he would get a bit riled up about when someone was checking you out when the two of you went out for a date night. Everything was stable in your relationship, aside from the fact you basically were away to Ransom's bed any chance you could.

Then there was Ransom. The man you were able to actually swear yourself off from two years straight and got your life in order.

So you thought. It took one drink and conversation to fall back to where you two were two years ago. Only this time you found him missing him while you were away, thinking about him more.

You opened your office door and propped it open for your boss's clients to come inside and wait, your boss's door opened on the other side. Shaking off your over-the-top feelings going on, you went to pour Johanna's coffee and grab the files for today's cases. She was on the phone, so you just set them down with a small wave of your hand and settled behind the desk to get started transferring her notes into the system.

Ransom though was never far from your mind when you gave your cell the occasional glance.

Lunchtime approached which meant you would meet up with Neil and head to the small cafe on the corner. He would ask you about your work, you would ask him about his. There would be pleasantries shared. You sighed once more to yourself at the thought of it.

Johanna closed her door with a sudden click. You jumped a bit in surprise as she shouldered her handbag. “You okay Dear?” The woman asked kindly and you smiled, brushing it off.

“Caught up in these files.”

“Ah, yes there is a lot with this case. Sorry about all the extra notes. I know it's a tad boring. But take your break, stay out with Neil a little extra. It's a nice day and you've earned it.” She smiled kindly.

“I will be sure to, maybe Neil and I can breeze around the park before returning.” Fat chance… you thought as you smiled kindly at your boss as she took her leave. You picked at your cell phone, working your lip about to message Neil that you would meet him when a rather loud distinctive tone filled the entryway to your and Johanna's office.

“I have a meeting lined up with Johanna Klein, if you could let her assistant know that Ransom Drysdale is here to see her.”

Dropping your cell phone, forgetting about Neil, you rise out of your seat and go to your door, peering out. Ransom is leaning against the desk to the receptionists of the lawyer's offices explaining how it was your lunchtime and you were out of the building.

Ransom’s voice was about to release, you could see him drawing in the air to make himself a bit more imposing at the idea that he wasn’t allowed to see you when his icy orbs lifted from the receptionist to you, a perfect smirk crossing those pale pink lips that could be so soft at the moment while dropping venom just as easily. “She looks like she is available to me.”

The receptionist spun her chair to see you in the doorway. “It’s okay, Johanna booked him as the last one this morning.” You lied while Ransom made his way around the desk to enter your office. The receptionist looked like she was about to say something more when you quickly clicked the door closed and pulled the shade over the frosted glass to keep from anyone seeing the two of you in there.

“What are you doing here Ransom?” You ask yet again, while he was leaning against the desk with his arms folded over his chest.

“I have an appointment. Seems it's the only way to properly see you again.” He pushed up the sleeves of his long sleeves over muscled forearms. You being you, was absolutely unable to take your eyes off that action.

“Well, I’ve been busy and you never made mention of it again.”

“Kitten…” His tone lowered with a warning. “I didn't think I had to imply that you could come over whenever. But if I'm going to have to do it this way from now on.” He pushed off the desk to stalk the small space to you. “Guess that's what I will do. Book my appointments between-” a slight snarl darkened his face, the crease between his eyes deepening as his hand rested in your lower back and pushed you closer to him.

Overwhelmingly closer. His muscles through the shirt flexed under your hands coming to rest on his pecs and his cologne made your mouth water with the familiarity. The scent of bergamot and cedar gave an almost smoky scent, a touch of sweetness with vanilla had you inching closer to Ransom. “- your time with Neil.”

Your eyes flashed angrily at him then, pulling back a bit in his hold. “What does it matter to you, Ransom?”

“It doesn't. Like I told you before Kitten, you and I will never be over.”

“Feels a lot like jealousy to me then.” You spat a bit. “Since we're just this.” You shrugged a bit, now your temper is getting the best of you. “What was it that Ellie said to me this morning. Fuck buddies.”

“Your term, not mine Kitten.” Ransom yanked you in close again, this time his kiss was a lot different than that night in your bedroom. It was harsh and demanding, forcing you to open your mouth to him and swallow his passion. “You know fucking Neil is skating on thin ice, keeping you all the time.” He shoved you roughly against your desk, your hands flying to the paperwork you were working on before and it went flying for the most part. Some of it fisted in your hand as your ass arched out and pressed against Ransom's groin, making you hiss when he jerked your hips further back.

“Neil is technically my-” You started when a hand slapped over your mouth, fingers digging into your cheeks roughly.

All of it was turning you on, making your thighs squeeze together and you breathe harshly through your nose the more excited you got. “Don’t say it Kitten. Not right now, this is my time. Remember. I made an appointment.”

You felt your skirt get rucked up around your hips and Ransom leaned over, his chest pressing into your back as he flushed hot kisses on your neck, a yank to your shirt dragged your shirt over your shoulder. It wasn't gentle kisses, it was deep leave his mark there that was making you tilt your head and push back into him once more while he fumbled with his own pants to yank them open.

“Yes, yes your appointment. Did you miss this pussy?” You purred, mimicking the nickname you had earned. His fingers pushed aside the bit of cotton that was now sticky clinging to your folds and he stroked you with precision, spreading your slick all around till he swirled a finger against your clit.

“Enough to come searching your ass out.” He remarked when you felt his cock take over where his fingers were, thicker, velvet hardness in your soft folds make you mewl while gripping your desk's edge.

It was the right call, as soon as Ransom felt you start to take him, he pressed harder. Making you both hiss, your head falling against your desk as he stretched you open, his cock filling you quickly. His teeth sunk into your shoulder, registering the sting of it when he rutted into you, slamming your hips into the desk suddenly. “Fuck Ransom,” You hissed out and bit your lip to stifle a moan.

“This perfect round ass that is so fuckable.” His hand came against a cheek while his hips slammed into you steadily. Jerking you on the desk. But it all felt so good, the stink of the slap making you tighten around his cock while you gave a yelp in protest.

Again his hand came around your mouth, stuffing fingers in your mouth which you wrapped your lips around and sucked on them, making your eyes roll when you tasted yourself on them. “Shut it Kitten, suck yourself off me like a good girl while I fill this perfect cunt.” Ransom snapped his teeth near your ear. You moaned, trying to confirm that you would, you would do just as he said while he fucked you harshly from behind.

It clouded your mind, forgetting everything you had been stressed about all morning. Ransom's cock pounded into your wanting body like it was all you ever needed. Your smooth walls flexed around him, tightening till you felt the throbbing ridges that dragged and pulled through you.

It wasn't just his cock driving you mindless. It was the grunted words in your ear. “Perfect little clock slut, Kitten you love getting fucked on your desk don’t you?” He hissed in your ear as another drive made you moan incoherent at him. “Just so cock drunk slut, who is too stupid to answer me.” A tongue was dragged on your tongue, kisses right at the hinge of your jaw made you whine and press back against him. He knew that it drove you crazy to feel the flush of his lips along your neck, driving you mindless. “Just my sweet little Kitten taking it so well.”

All you could do was mewl around his fingers stuffed in your mouth, drool escaping from the corners of your stretched lips and dribbling on the paperwork you had crumpled in your fists. Your chest pressed harshly against the desk, making you wheeze under Ransom’s weight. It was smothering, him all over caging you against the furniture, pumping his cock harshly into your core and your mouth stuffed with his fingers keeping you quiet.

It was too much and not enough, cause you still weren't quite there. The heat burned in your belly, wanting to implode you into oblivion. Ransom gritted his teeth as he wedged a hand under you, fingers feeling for your throbbing clit that ached for his touch.

The roll of his fingers made you moan at the tension. The rush made your spine snap and fight against Ransom, which he felt as you squealed in protest, his teeth snapping near you while he sputtered.

“Just fucking cum Kitten, then you can relax. Your boss will be back any time now.” Nearby you glanced at your phone that somehow was still on the table, the time wavering in your sight, as well as some ‘Where are you?’ texts from Neil.

Ransom wanted you to relax and cum, which is what you wanted as well. The numbing release was right there with his help and you let go. The wave was mind blanking. You sagged under Ransom, and he tightened his hold on you as he used you. But you were in bliss as he grunted over you, hot shots of cum filling you while he sagged in relief against you.

Jerks of his cock still quivered your sensitive walls as he took a few last slow pumps into you before he plated his hands against your messy desk and pulled himself up, pulling out of your messy cunt.

“Gonna have to go the rest of the day like that Kitten.” He chuckled as he straightened your panties back in place and pulled your skirt down over your ass. His hand went around your waist and he helped guide you back to a stand to face him. Brushes of his thumbs over your face was an attempt to fix your makeup which made you wince while you rubbed the drool from your chin.

“How bad is it?”

Ransom winced when you asked. “Pretty bad… looks like you've been crying… or got properly fucked. Take your pick.” He said as his hands dropped to pull his pants back in place and zip them back up, the button going back through the loop.

It was unfair that Ransom didn't get completely ruined like you did when this sort of thing happened. You rushed around your desk to grab some wet wipes to wipe the smudged lipstick and mascara off.

‘You know… I never have this problem with Neil.” You muttered and Ransom snapped back as he watched you, leaning down to pick up some of the papers that fell and shuffle them together while you did a quick reapplication so no one would question it.

“Kitten, obviously the man isn't fucking you right then.” A smirk flashed up at you as he handed you your papers and you were quick to tuck them away.

You broke into a small dirty smile, a roll of your eyes playing with him. “Well… you are correct in that Ransom. Now split, Johanna will be back soon.”

“Nope." A pop of the p that made you huff at him. "I have an appointment Y/N.” He swept down into a seat just as Johanna clicked open the door and stepped back in.

“Y/N, did you have a good lunch? I didn’t expect to see you back so soon. But I was told my next client is here.” She glanced towards the corner of the room where Ransom was picking at his sweater. “Mr. Drysdale, come on in with me, please? We will get started.” She smiled warmly as she went around your desk to let herself into her office, Ransom moving to a stand with a chipper.

“Absolutely, thrilled to get started. Y/N here has been a perfect host in the meantime.” He winked at you with a light brush of his fingers along your arm before disappearing into Johanna’s office, the door shutting behind them.

You could only begin to guess what Ransom was up to coming all the way here. Which you would find out later, either from Ransom or Johanna.

Right now you had to deal with standing up Neil, which when you picked up your phone, chewing your lip that you still could taste yourself on from Ransom’s fingers, you read the message.

Y/N, where are you? I have been waiting for an hour for you.

You started to text out your lie of an excuse hoping that this wouldn't be the day it would all blow up in your face.

#ransom drysdale au #ransom drysdale and reader #ransom drysdale x kitten #ransom drysdale fan fiction #knives out au #knives out fanfiction #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #amber writes #sweater writes #chris evans characters #chris evans characters fanfiction #tw cheating fic

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

Text

Diving Bell - Andy Barber smut

The one where Andy has been a patient librarian, but now that you’ve accepted his advances...

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, dubcon, (andy pushes the relationship into boundaries that weren’t previously consented), age gap, (reader is over eighteen and in college), semi-public sex, somewhat of an exhibitionism kink, oral (f), andy’s definitely dark but reader is generally into it, she just doesn’t know what “it” will be, dirty talk

Word count: 3k<

A/N: this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. Hope you guys like it!

Reader’s P.O.V.

My face burned and I wondered how I hadn’t spontaneously combusted from how hot I felt under the hot new librarian’s gaze. Sure, the girls had warned me about it - I’d hear so much about him, in fact, that I was sure I’d be disappointed when I actually did manage to meet him.

Boy, was I wrong.

He was the definition of daddy, luscious beard and hair just begging to be pulled and I could feel the burn his jaw would leave behind if he deposited kisses down my neck - or better yet, on the insides of my thighs - but he was at least twenty years older than me.

There was absolutely no way I’d ever catch his attention. Not when so many girls had tried to get in his pants - girls hotter than me - and had failed miserably, as I’d been told time and time again from the very same seductresses.

So I saw absolutely no point in trying. Although, one could very well admire, right? Also, fantasize couldn’t do any harm, not even to my extremely vulnerable pride. It’s not like I could control it, anyway.

But another thing I couldn’t control was his effect on me. The way my whole body warmed up when I felt his eyes on it, how I couldn’t immediately focus on his words whenever he addressed me. I even stopped coming to the library to study because 1) I couldn’t concentrate with him around and 2) his presence had brought a whole new wave of first-time library users, and seeing as their interests weren’t on the actual books, they tended to be extremely loud.

Once essays started to get assigned though, there wasn’t much I could do. I had to get back to the library, and so I chose to go when it was already dark, hoping he wouldn’t pick up that shift, and knowing most frat girls would be at an impromptu Thursday-night party to celebrate (once again) the start of classes.

I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just throw a party for the sake of partying. Did they have to reuse the same excuse, over and over again? It’s not like anyone cared. I certainly didn’t, and the people who went for the free beer didn’t care about anything just as long as the alcohol kept flowing.

“What are you doing here?” His voice startled me, almost making me drop the pile of books I’d been gathering. Even though there was no way I’d confuse him with someone else, I still looked over my shoulder to make sure it was really him, that he was actually there, staring at me with those caring warm brown eyes.

“S-should I be anywhere else?” I tried to sass, even if my own voice gave me away. He chuckled though, extending a hand to help me with the load in my arms, and although I hesitated for a second, I ended up accepting his help. It was his job, after all. This couldn’t really be considered flirting, right?

“I don’t know. I’ve heard about this party tonight, figured you’d be there.” Frowning, I finally turned to stare at him directly in the eyes, almost immediately regretting my decision. Damn, he looked good.

“How do you know about the party?” I asked, and his lips immediately curled up, trying to contain a smile from stretching over his face.

“Some girls may or may not have invited me to meet them there.” Clicking my tongue, I decided to look back at the bookshelf, instead of paying him any more attention.

“Why? Are you jealous?” The question felt too much like something a fuckboy my age might ask me at a party, not a forty-year-old man who worked a full-time job. When I turned to look at him again, eyebrows raised high, he chuckled.

“Sorry, that’s not usually my style… I’m just at a loss of ways to get you to notice me, that’s all.” Well, now I was beyond shocked.

“Why do you want me to notice you?” I asked, utterly confused, but Andy just laughed, shaking his head at me like he was profoundly amused by my ways.

“I always notice when you’re around. Even worse, I always notice when you aren’t.” And then, as he looked around like he wanted to make sure other people wouldn’t hear him, he leaned over me and confessed, “It gets pretty lonely here without you.”

The accompanying wink almost gave me a heart attack. Stuttering out something even though I didn’t know what to say, I moved away from the bookshelf in search of the nearest table, finding it thankfully empty.

When I turned around to look for him again, he was right by my side.

“I don’t get it,” I managed to admit once my arms were book-free. “We’ve talked like twice. You helped me find books, I acted like a fool. You weren’t supposed to flirt with me, why aren’t you interested in the college girls who actually hit on you?”

He raised his eyebrows before frowning, hands deep in his pockets as he stared down at me in all of his height. “Have you ever considered… that I just don’t want them?”

The insinuation stirred something deep inside of me, leaving me flushed and overall a mess. Stumbling out an apology, I gathered my stuff and left as quickly as possible, determined to process what had happened that evening by myself, so it could actually feel real and I could decide what to do from then on.

But something changed ever since that evening. I stopped trying to run away from him and started to actively go to the library in the times I knew he was there, at first still avoiding him and looking away every time he caught me staring, silently grateful that he didn’t try to force me to open up to him.

His patience was rewarded when in a few weeks, I began to talk to him again. Asking him for book recommendations, never anything other than what was strictly related to his job, but the way his eyes glinted knowingly at me warned me that he did understand where my mind was at.

It didn’t take long for him to start flirting with me, and from then on, I slowly accepted his advances and even began to eagerly wait for them.

I smiled widely when I heard his low whistle, admiring the way he looked in that comfortable sweater as he put away the books he was holding to fully give me all of his attention.

“Well, don’t you look incredible?” He asked as I twirled so he could fully see the dress I’d put on just for him. “Did you dress up for me, pretty girl? Because I like to think that you did.”

Biting my lower lip, I tried to gather the courage I’d been trying to build up all week, before finally nodding and admitting, “Yes, I did.” From the stupefied look on his face, it didn’t seem like he was expecting that. Even worse, I wasn’t expecting the outcome of my little attempt to flirt back.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” And that was all the warning I got before his hands cradled my face and he took my mouth in his, kissing me breathless, leaving me aching and soaked when he finally released me.

I was panting by the time he let go of my lips, and he smiled softly at me as he brushed over my cheekbones, saying, “You know… if you ever need anything… You know I’m always here to help.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

“So, what brings you here tonight?” My own smile denounced just how much of her intentions I already knew, from how well I knew her. Her late-night visits to the library had become more and more frequent, and I couldn’t say that I hated it.

“I don’t know,” she feigned nonchalance, shrugging while perusing the bookshelves before looking back at me from over her shoulder. “The hot new librarian in charge of the night shift has told me he was always available to help me with anything I needed, and I’ve been needing a distraction.”

My chuckle was low, in order not to interrupt the few students still trying to finish whatever assignment they were working on, but she heard it. I watched as she shivered at the sound of my voice, prompting me to lick my lips at the powerful reaction I could so easily elicit from her.

“You didn’t use to be so blunt,” I teased, remembering how she used to come in here looking for me, only to run away at the last second. It was adorable. Ever since I started working at this university, it wasn’t unusual for college girls to come in groups and watch me from a distance, their giggles whenever I glanced at them unmistakable in the almost completely silent environment. Eventually, one or two would always break away from the group and try to flirt while their friends became a captive audience, but I was quick to shut them down.

They weren’t the one I wanted. She was standing in front of me now, pretending to be interested in a random book, biting her lower lip to keep a smile from spreading over her face. “Do you miss it?”

There was something undeniably attractive by her shyness back then, her inability to ask me for information or even sustain my gaze, but now that I knew what it was like to have her meet my eyes, now that I’d had the luxury of hearing her speak, of getting to know the intricacies of her mind, how could I miss what was, back then, a stranger?

“Not at all.” Her laughter, even subdued because of the place we were in, was enough to have my stomach doing backflips. I had to smile, instinctively getting closer to her, just like a moth, drawn to a flame.

“I want to do dirty, dirty things to you,” I admitted, one hand on the back of her head as I pressed her against the bookshelf, my lips just over her ear as my beard undoubtedly tickled her neck. “Can’t very well protect my soul if I’m still thinking about you as an innocent little thing, now can I?”

Her eyes dropped down to my lips before meeting mine again, and just like that, I had all the authorization I needed to connect our lips and kiss her breathless. Humming in delight against her quiet neediness, her eagerness to open her lips, welcome my tongue with hers, I blindly moved us further towards the back of the library, relaxed in the knowledge that amongst taxidermia books no one would come to check on us.

Not that I cared all that much if they did.

“Hm… Want me, sweetheart?” I pressed, needing to hear her say it, taking sick pleasure in knowing this came from her, this was her own desire. She almost didn’t answer me, eyelids heavily pressing her eyes closed when our mouths parted, but in the absence of my touch on her, she jolted.

“Yeah, I do! I do, I do…” She insisted, pressing herself against me, feeling just how badly I wanted her too. It made her gasp, witnessing how hard she had made me - she didn’t know it yet, but it’d been this way ever since the first day.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” I whispered, just to see the way goosebumps took over her flesh while I got rid of her underwear, moving us towards an empty table where I could lay her out to take.

“No, I don’t want you to stop,” she moaned when she saw me leaning over to kiss between her legs, eyes still connected to hers until she closed them to throw her head back, overtaken by the sensation of my warm tongue slipping between her folds. It was better that way, she wouldn’t see the dangerous smirk that denounced that she would come to regret her words before I was done with her.

She tasted just as sweet as I always imagined her to. So wet already, it was clear she was desperate for me. The cock straining against my pants reminded me I couldn’t be too cocky about it - I wanted her just as badly.

“C’mon, honey…” I teased, dipping my tongue in her hole as my thumb frantically rubbed her tiny clit. “Give me more, I want more.” I needed her to cum before I could shove my cock into her. It was important.

The sudden tension of her thighs denounced the arrival of her orgasm, and where usually I’d love nothing more than to keep licking her, delighting myself with her taste and overstimulating her sweet body until she was crying, there was only so much I could take tonight.

“There you go,” I complimented when she easily succumbed to my directions, having turned her around and laid her with her stomach on the table, legs dangling off of it. “Want to feel me now, pretty girl? Want me to fill you now?”

Her answer was a whine as her hips searched for mine. She was offering herself to me, the innocent little thing. Didn’t know I’d take her regardless of it.

I had the instinct of slapping my hand over her mouth as I penetrated her, and so her moan came out muffled. I could still understand a breathless, “so good…” being uttered against my palm, and it only made me bite down on my lip harder, so my own sounds wouldn’t reverberate across the silent library.

It was a twisted kind of pleasure to hold her arms back as I fucked her roughly but as silently as possible, trying not to make the table squeak so it wouldn’t draw attention to us. Even though I didn’t particularly care if someone did find us - I wouldn’t stop fucking her if God himself tried to intervene - I’d prefer to reach my goal without unwanted interferances.

So I was glad she didn’t seem to mind the fact that anyone could easily look our way and see us fucking. Had I really tempted her that much, that she would let me do whatever I wanted to her body, just as long as I fucked her?

Guess I was about to find out.

“Do you know how many times I masturbated in the back room, thinking about this sweet pussy?” I asked, voice raspy with desire as I kept jackhammering her as quietly as possible, but probably failing to do so in the midst of my arousal. “To think I finally have it now, wrapped around my dick…” My voice faltered as I realized all of my dreams were about to come true, right at that moment.

“Can’t wait to fuck my cum back into you, sweetheart. I’m gonna keep you so full from now on.” I felt her body tense underneath my fingers as she processed my words, but it was too late for her now. My hand still over her mouth, I stopped her from screaming or fighting me in any way.

“Just relax, honey. Doesn’t it feel so good?” I mocked, fucking her harder and harder as my control slipped from me. “It feels good for me, too. So now you’ll have to take it.”

Reaching around for her clit, I started rubbing it in quick little motions, desperate to feel her cunt clenching around me once more, milking my cum.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Cum again for me. Let me keep making you feel good as you do the same for me.” Her orgasm had her legs raising between mine, right when I started to spill inside of her, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. Once I was sure she wouldn’t scream, I took my hand away and pushed her back against the desk, massaging her ass eagerly, hoping it would take.

“You’ll look so good all round with my child.” Once I pulled my cock from her, I made sure to adjust her underwear so it would stop my cum from flowing, massaging the damp tissue with a smug expression.

She managed to turn around in my embrace, blinking confusedly, mouth opening and closing as if she couldn’t quite figure out what she wanted to say, and I cooed at her adorableness.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take good care of you and the little one.” I rubbed my hand over where she would soon grow, licking my lips at the mental image of her pregnant. God, why did that make me so hard?

“You can trust me,” I assured her, pulling her closer to I could kiss her forehead, before adjusting her body so it rested on mine. I knew there were tears rolling down her cheeks, but it was just from her coming down from the adrenaline high. She wanted this. She just needed to be able to think clearly to see just how perfect this would be. “We’ll be so happy together.”

#tw dubcon #My 2k challenge #my fics #andy barber smut #librarian au #andy barber #smut #andy barber x reader #andy barber reader #andy barber reader insert #andy barber reader inserts #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x you

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thestarrynightslover · 4 years ago

Text

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst!

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened.

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

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honoredbastard · 3 years ago

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such pretty tears, baby boy ♡

“does this get you off?” “MGH! y/n please-” “ah ah ah-”

✻ ˒ ໍ CHARACTERS ♡ bonten!mikey, bonten!rindou haitani and sadist gn!reader. all above the age of 20. they’re all timeskipped.

✻ ˒ ໍ CONTENT/KINKS ♡ NSFW, EDGING, TYING, OVERSTIMULATION, Y/N BEING A soft SADIST-(?) MASOCHISTS, BOTTOM, BOYS, GIVE NO REICIVE. drug/addiction mention(s). MENTIONS OF PET PLAY.

✻ ˒ ໍ A/N ♡ Y’ALL SADISTIC GN!READER HAS ME BY THE NECK-. i don’t know how to write rindou nor smut well FORGIVE ME GODS OF SMUT- it’s just a little drabble thingy ma jig that really couldn’t be kept in my drafts for too long- manga spoilers? draken will be next time? also toy/gear mentions.

:: ִֶָ MANJIRO “MIKEY” SANO 𓂅

sex with mikey was usually nice, lazy, and quiet. on other days he’d devour your body like a starving man, but in reality he was a little on the frustrated side. sexually. at times he’d be away for business purposes as he’d tell you and leave sanzu or rindou to be your bodyguard. as for rindou you appreciated his company, he didn’t talk to you much but the times you’d cook for him ( he loves your cooking, bad or not this man will devour it in full. so will ran, ran is just all smiles and eating. burnt food? doesn’t bother him. ) and/or just a small conversation was enough for you to smile. although sanzu was a different story, the top trusted bonten members and mikey all shared a loft, including you. so it didn’t take a lot of time to understand sanzu’s.... addiction.

it didn’t bother you much but whenever you came out of your shared room with mikey, he’d stare. just stare at you calmly, sword or gun in hand. sometimes he mistook you for his s/o, other times he was too high to think straight and was sprawled out on the couch. half of his body melting into the floor. you wondered how he could do that comfortably.

but that didn’t matter anymore, mikey was arriving home soon and you snuck around to grab some things around the house. a rope (thank you high sanzu for complying and ordering one), a ball gag, a small paddle that shouldn’t hurt too much, and a blindfold. all things you ordered off the internet after studying in secret for weeks.

when you were alone, lonely, and sexually frustrated you stumbled across bdsm and kinks. of course mikey had kinks and interests that he’d expressed to you which you happily indulged in them. ( his spanks hurt, but they make mikey’s hips thrusting against you afterwards 10x better. ) at the time you just believed you were a maso with a bratty side and mikey had to many kinks to list that left you both in undying pleasure.

all until you were alone all over again, sanzu drunk and on whatever drug he smoked or popped this time. you were free to do as you want. a little on the dangerous side when your boredom stretched for hours on end when sanzu was sober enough to recognize your sneaking presence. at times he’d play along and sneak up behind you ( he’s too good at this when he has his sanity tbh ) and whisper in your ear “what are we hunting this time?” “OH FUCK!!” you’d scream and on reflex threw a fist at the man, who’s arms blocked his face and your fist. “sanzu!” you groaned, heart thumping against your chest like a race horse.

“i’m sorry.” you voice strained, scared that you fucked up this last time with sanzu and he was tired of it. “it’s fine, it’s fine. i’m the one who scared you. sooo... whatcha sneakin’ about for?” he grinned, leaning closer to your face. his eyes felt like he could see your lies before you’d come up with one, so you just told the truth.... parts of it at least. “i didn’t want to wake you and i got ordered stuff that i wanted to use online and i was gonna go get it!”

sanzu’s face that was inches apart from yours leaned away, he smiled politely before trotting back to the couch. “all good, just wanted to make sure boss’ partner wasn’t meetin’ other gang members. y’know?” his body practically melted into the couch, eyes flicking between you and the t.v before getting comfortable. “you know i would never, sanzu!” you grinned, he shrugged, eyes already half-lidded.

yup, he was about as stable as a dizzy ram for a few minutes there. you sighed and marched your way to outside where two small boxes were stacked above a bigger box. those were all toys- anal beads, a small paddle, dildos. you name it, you ordered it. you could already fantasize it- mikey under your touch, tied to a chair with every. single. part of him.... exposed. your body felt a shock through it, biting your lip to remain calm but it was hard for your ideas to settle.

you could already feel a knot building in your stomach that you had to get out badly. mikey would be a couple hours right? when you arrived to your shared space with mikey, you put the boxes in the closet and searched for something of his. something that smelled of him, that made you tingle in all the right places. you found a familiar black shirt so you took it, plopped onto the bed and held it in one hand while the other went to town on yourself. you began losing your mind from the pleasure as you started edging yourself - falling into a fantasy of your own.

mikey body was wearing ropes like clothes, you were staring him down with a smug smirk. eyes slow and attentive, it made mikey twitch when he watched. toes curled when you licked your lips, biting down on your cheek to stop you from devouring him right there. no no no, you had to have your fun. you inched closer to him, eyes never leaving his.

the man unable to speak was bontens number one, his life was right there for you to hold in your palms. you were aware of this, but you treated him like he was another civilian. he, of course, allowed you to. your hands brushed his untouched cock that was dripping with precum, “excited already?” you asked, licking the pent up contents.

mikey, who was gagged, nodded quickly before your warm tongue dragged itself from his base to his already flushed tip. playing with the slit for your own amusement while he tried to buck his hips to no avail. you were aware he’d try to get himself into your mouth, lure you into his trap where he has his way with you and not the other way around.

“ah-ah-ah.” you shook a finger at him, a teasing yet playful tone, your hand wrapped itself around his veiny shaft, slowly but surely raising the speed with each bite you placed on his pale thighs. he twitched and squirmed as he neared his release till you slowed down at the peak moment. you could hear his frustration through his muffled pants and whimpers. your fingers rubbed back and forth across his slit before placing a thumb there.

you looked up at mikey who’s cheeks were redder than a tomato, you kept looking while your mouth neared his inner thighs. you placed hickeys, ran a nail from the inside his hip down his thigh which made him squirm more. his skin flinched at the odd feeling, then you did it with his cock.

that sent him into an odd feeling of pleasure that made his toes curled, breath hitch, and eyes squeeze shut. raising yourself from the ground, you sat onto his lap with open legs for taunting him. “should i remove that ballgag? hmm?” you questioned, blowing into his ear before biting at the lobe. “so sanzu can hear your pleasure as i play with you to my heart content?” you licked behind his ear, his head jerked back slightly - free rain to kiss up and down his neck.

“i’m not letting you cum till you cry for me.. slut.” you clicked in his ear, he shivered at your dominance over him.

I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS ONE EVEN IF IT’S SHITTY LMFAO-

:: ִֶָ RINDOU HAITANI 𓂅

sex with rindou was about a mix of everything. it was like those ‘god making me’ tiktoks you’d stumble upon every-so often from your pure boredom. at times you were allowed to go to bonten meetings and overs you weren’t. ( rindou is keen on protecting you from the heavy shit he sees too often. especially if those meetings are fucked up. ) so when you weren’t either someone who was already informed like koko or ran which rindou trusted more than anyone to watch over you, to be your bodyguard.

the problem was, rindou didn’t touch you in the places that craved being touched. your bottom half was aching to feel his hands again, to become red, fading into purple and blues. aching afterwards but getting the best aftercare, you were treated like royalty after you let rindou have his way with you. you even missed his breeding kink that would never end and left you in a shaking mess.

yet although all the offers and signals you threw at him, he brushed you off. now this was getting on your nerves. very much on your nerves. so you set up a plan: overstim and edge your boyfriend beyond compare. you’d give him the best aftercare for a price. you were going to have your way with him, of course you’ll ask for consent and walk him through what you’d do to him. but after that the power exchange was all yours.

you’d both mutually set up on a safe word and if either of you couldn’t speak properly you set up a safe signal. rindou was invested in bdsm and you too, became invested into it. which may have flipped your sadist switch. the idea was to tie rin up or to a chair. you had plenty of gear ( both pet and non pet play ) and way too many restraining gear. which excited you of all the things you could do.

although you knew one thing for sure. you were going to play with his cock till it ached and tears were burning into his cheeks while you tried your way at humiliating him. he’d done this to you many times, restrained you, made your nipples harder than him. it was everything.

when you peered out of your room you saw ran sitting at the dinner table concentrating at something. “should i pester him?” you questioned aloud in a hushed voice, “hm? oh is that you, y/n?” “yes?!” you felt like you got caught, your voice was high pitched and confused which made ran laugh. “at ease, come on over here.” following his orders like a dog, you stumbled your way over to ran awkwardly.

you stared at the cards in awe, “are you playing by yourself?” “actually yes i am! would you like to play with me?” “sure!” you sat time with a smile, yyou seemed focused but your mind was somewhere else. far far away from the ground, it all played out with rindou’s loud moans and occassional grunts as your hand slid down his length. eyes flicking to him than the thing you were working so well for - applying your mouth soon after. though rindou failed your plans for his edging, you still went to town as he filled your mouth, riding his orgasim while you kept going. the pleasure becoming painful but it felt oh-so.... good.

thanks for reading! <3 it was horrible but fun to write 10/10. rindou’s part sucked everything that i had worked on was deleted and i’m still pissed so it’s not great, thank you!

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dongofthewolf · 4 years ago

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Slowly Learning That Life Is Okay

Abby Anderson x Fem!Blind!Reader

Sweet sweet fluff about fear of intimacy where Abby rescues the reader and they unexpectedly become closer.

Requested by @rianncreates

Warnings: swearing, fluff, minor violence(?), cute gay shit :)

A/N: I am not visually impaired but I really tried my best to write a character whose lack of sight doesn't define them. I wanted to portray how our differences don't define us; we're all connected in a way (as cheesy as it may sound), and it makes me sad to see small things like not being able to hear/see divide us.

Ever since you were a kid, people have always had a hard time looking you in the eyes. Due to your condition, they appeared hazy and almost grey; something that made a lot of people uncomfortable. In fact, most people don’t even know it, but you can actually tell when someone is turning away so they don’t have to face you. There’s a certain recognizable sound when someone purposely looks away to avoid affording you the basic decency of eye contact, and it’s dehumanizing as fuck. It didn’t matter that you weren’t completely blind, it was enough that you were still alienated from the rest of the world. They didn’t see you as a person, to them you were your blindness–it defined you. It’s the reason people were afraid to interact with you, why kids were always so cruel to you, and why you always kept people at an arm's-length. That is, until you met Abby.

Abby was unlike anyone you had ever met; she was the first person who saw you—truly saw you. While most people knew her to be Isaac’s top scar killer, you knew her as the girl who tended to your wounds after she found you patrolling the city. She was the smell of pine and fresh rain that filled your senses, and her voice was like a soothing ailment when she calmly reassured you that everything would be fine.

In the WLF infirmary, Abby never left your side. It’s not like your injuries were super severe or anything, but she stayed with you regardless. She wrapped your arms with fresh bandages when they needed changing, and got you desserts from the cafeteria using her connections to Isaac. After a few days, you quickly learned that the two of you had a lot in common and soon she was visiting you almost every day.

It’d been a month now and you’ve officially made the WLF stadium your new home. You and Abby were sitting in your room while she read to you with that same lovely voice. It had become a habit now; Abby had read to you in the infirmary, and ever since then she's been coming over so she can share all her favourite books with you. She was just starting a new chapter when you interrupted her. “Abby?”

Abby instantly stopped reading, and you could feel the bed shift as she sat up to face you. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask you something?” You were nervous. Although she had been nothing but kind to you, you didn’t want to ruin what happened to be the closest friendship you’ve had in a really long time.

You could hear her smiling as she answered. “Anything.”

You hesitated; you’d never normally do this with anyone else, but you trusted Abby. As you sat there contemplating your next words, Abby gently took your hand before continuing with that same reassuring tone she had used when you guys first met. “Hey, you know you can always talk to me right?”

Her hands were so warm. It was such a small detail that most people probably wouldn’t notice, but for some reason it was all you could think about in that moment. They were rough and calloused from years of combat but whenever she touched you, it was delicate and light. It was as if she was afraid that she would hurt you, even though you knew she never would. God, why can’t you think straight while she’s holding your hand like that? Fuck, it shouldn’t be that hard.

You struggled to get the words out, like something in your chest was weighing you down. “I just… I don't want things to change.”

“Hey, nothing you say could ever push me away. Okay?” Abby was softly caressing the top of your hand with hers as she set the book aside.

“I was wondering if I could…” Fuck, how were you supposed to say this? You paused trying to decide how to word it, but it still came out wrong. “feel your face?”

Abby didn’t respond, and if she hadn’t been holding your hand then, you would’ve thought she had left. After waiting for what felt like a whole five minutes (but was probably closer to thirty seconds) you were starting to get nervous. “Abby? You still there?”

Your voice must have snapped her out of it because she responded immediately. “Yeah, sorry I just… I was expecting something a lot worse. Like you murdered some kittens or something.”

You giggled at the sincerity in her voice, relief flooding through you. “Kittens? God Abby who the fuck do you think I am?”

“I don’t know! I thought you were admitting some deep dark secret.” Abby nervously laughed along with you, her hand never leaving yours.

As you both settled down, Abby shakily brought your hand to her cheek, silently signalling to you that it was okay. You hesitantly caressed it, softly stroking the lines of her cheekbones with a smile on your face. Your hand then slowly moved up towards her forehead, your fingers tracing the scar above her eyebrow. The scar was thin like from a blade or a scrap piece of metal, and you couldn’t help but wonder how she had gotten the scar–wondered how many scars she had gotten after years of fighting in that senseless war.

You’d never say it out loud because the WLF had saved your life, but the war with the Seraphites was unnecessary and quite frankly, useless. All of the so-called “sacrifices” being made for the sake of some fucking land was just stupid and greedy.

You weren’t really a religious person–especially considering the whirlwind of shit you’ve been through–but if this whole virus was a result of some higher being thrusting humans into extinction? You couldn’t blame them. All these survivors were granted a second chance to better themselves, thousands of people by some miracle had survived the outbreak, only for them to revert back to the same tired, old ideology of war and power. You supposed that even after all these years, humans never really change.

Your fingers moved slowly back down, passing the bridge of her nose and her Cupid’s bow before reaching her lips. They were soft and parted slightly when you reached for them, but she still didn’t move.

Abby stayed incredibly still as you took your time feeling her face, exploring every crevice—every detail of her subtle features. You could feel a stray strand of hair hanging next to her face, so you lightly brushed it behind her ear before bringing your hands back down to rest on your lap. But before you could fully pull away, your hand brushed up against something rigid and stiff. It took you a moment before you realized that you were touching her huge bicep, and you were astonished at her strength. It also took you a minute before you realized that you were literally feeling up her muscles, causing a sudden heat to rush towards your cheeks as you quickly retrieved your hands.

“Oh um… sorry I didn’t mean to- I mean I didn’t realize-” You tried to get the words out but you couldn’t. “Fuck this is awkward.”

Abby chuckled watching you get all flustered from touching her arms, and then out of nowhere it slipped out. “God you’re adorable.”

Then there was a pause, you weren’t sure you had heard her correctly but from the way her laughing suddenly came to a halt, you were sure she had just said what you thought she did.

“Uh, shit. I should… I should go.” Abby began standing up but before she could, you reached out and grabbed her arm. You pulled her towards you again, tracing your hand back towards her cheek as you gently cupped the side of her face with your palm.

“Don’t go.” Abby’s cheeks grew warm under your touch. You wanted more than anything to tell her how you feel–how you’ve felt for her since the moment you two had first met.

After spending so much of your life consumed by this irrational fear of abandonment and intimacy, you had let someone in. You lowered the barrier that you had spent so long building because of her. And of course it was easy to assume that you liked Abby just because she was one of the only people you hung out with, but it wasn’t like that. Abby wasn’t like the rest of your friends or family because she was never overbearing; most people were quick to treat you like a child or some helpless creature, but she never did. She gave you space when you needed it, but she also never made you feel lonely. Her presence was calming and comforting. Abby gave so much and expected nothing in return.

The possibility that your feelings for her were reciprocated made your heart flutter, but it was also really scary. This was entirely new territory; relationships were never a priority for you by any means, especially since survival has always been your prime concern. But now that you’ve found asylum here with the WLF—with Abby, you were safe. You were free to live, free to enjoy the prospect of a somewhat normal life, and you better believe you were going to take full advantage of this newfound normalcy.

You leaned in towards Abby, your foreheads touching and your lips just millimeters apart. As you placed both of your hands on her cheeks, Abby stayed impossibly still as her nose softly grazed yours. Abby’s hands landed on top of yours as she held them against her face, securing them there like she was afraid you would leave.

Then–as if it wasn’t the most terrifying thing ever–you kissed her. It was delicate and gentle, and you nearly cried because of how perfect it was. And although you had just felt her lips with your fingers, nothing compared to how they felt against yours. They were so soft you wanted to melt into them, and in that moment you nearly did. Your body involuntarily leaned into her, your arms falling against her broad shoulders in an effort to support yourself, before slowly moving to wrap around the back of her neck, pulling her even closer. All that built up tension from weeks of spending nearly every day together suddenly dissipated the moment you closed that gap, and those tears that had previously threatened to fall suddenly did. Small teardrops fell from both your eyes and wet your cheeks, causing Abby to pull back slightly as she wiped them with the pads of her thumbs. “What’s wrong?”

You gave her a small smile as you chuckled slightly. “Nothing, I just… I really like you Abby.”

As soon as the words fell out, Abby laughed softly before embracing you for a kiss once again. When the two of you finally pulled apart Abby spoke again with that same heavenly voice of hers. “I really like you too Y/N”

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagine #the last of us imagine #request #abby anderson #abby tlou #fluff #fxf #tlou #tlou2 #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #me simping for abby's arms #yes i quoted take on me #and what about it

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minniepetals · 4 years ago

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unlove me, i dare you | 02

— summary: it wasn't meant to be. you're only a burden

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, fluff, office!au, break up!au, exes to lovers!au

— word count: 7.1k

— warnings: just little moments of heartbreaks y’know?

— part 1

There are moments when you feel as if you'll just break. Fall from the tip of a counter, shatter against the hard floor, and break into little tiny pieces.

It hurts more than you can imagine, hurts more than words can ever convey. You hadn't known that telling them you weren't in love, saying such a lie out loud for them to hear, would tear your own heart right out of your chest.

Your heart aches and aches, throbbing in pain, begging for you to do something, anything, for the knives to stop stabbing right in and hurting you even more.

But what can you do? This is all your fault.

The break up is your fault.

And though you hope you can just ignore them at the workplace, it is almost close to impossible. They're the executives after all, your bosses, the ones who owns the building you work in.

It isn't easy to try and avoid them, it isn't easy at all. Because every time you walk in the halls, someone is always around. Sometimes they come in twos, sometimes they come in threes, sometimes, one time, they even come in seven altogether.

Yet you refuse to look up whenever you feel their presence, pretending to be coldhearted, acting as if you have no heart, as if you aren't the Y/N you once were. And perhaps they do hope to say something, to drag you into an empty room, to talk things over, to try and understand why.

But there isn't anything to explain.

You've broke them, telling them you weren't in love, lying to them about a truth you were too afraid to come face to face with. So of course they don't try to approach you.

Why would they?

After all, you're the one who said that you didn't love them after Jungkook confessed.

They're hurt.

But you know that eventually the feelings will come to an end. Maybe Jungkook is just confused, maybe they're all confused, so you try your best to avoid them as you work, knowing things will pass and they will forget about you in time.

It'll hurt because you know it won't be easy for you to forget the seven of them, because it'll be easier for them to forget about one person, someone who had walked into their lives and is destined to leave.

They were happy before you came into the picture, they'll be happy after you leave.

But still, you have to admit that it hurts.

It hurts to see them in the hallways or meetings. Hurts as you avoid any conversation that brings them up unless absolutely necessary and important. Hurts to see other girls flocking around them and acting all flirtatious.

You don't understand what they see in you. You're shy and introverted, always left in the shadows of the crowd, never brave enough to stand up for yourself, never brave enough to speak up. There are so many other girls who has style and personality. They know what to say, know how to respond to flirtatious comments. They know how to doll up to impress others.

And yet it's you they want.

So you find yourself asking, why you?

"Minyoung please, I know something is wrong with Y/N."

She looks up at him with a knowing face that falls sad to the floor, not knowing how to respond as the CEO of the company is asking something of her. Normally she will answer to anyone above her level but this is about you, her best friend, so she hesitates on her words.

Namjoon's brows furrow, knowing completely well how conflicted she must feel but he has to know. "I know Y/N, she isn't that cruel. I know she wouldn't just...pretend she had something for us and fake her happiness like that. Y/N is sincere, I know her. She..."

Or perhaps he thought he knew you.

But as days pass by and he's trying to figure everything out while the rest of the boys try to hold themselves up after that day, it becomes harder to try and understand everything.

Did you really mean what you said?

You don't love them. Okay, sure, he can take that, but you're Y/N, you're kind and gentle and sweet and he knows you wouldn't just break things off if you weren't sure whether you loved them or not.

You'd talk to them to try and figure things out.

"Please, Minyoung..."

He doesn't know what to do anymore. It hurts, the aching in his heart, watching you from afar, watching as you try to avoid anything that has to do with them, watching as you refuse to acknowledge their presence. He hates how things are, knows the boys have fallen hard and he has too, knows how hurt you've left him and the guys.

But still he has to know, has to know if you're alright, if you were lying. He has to know.

"Are you asking me as a boss...or as a man?" She asks him and he considers his answer.

"As a man," he tells her. Sincerely.

She lets out a sigh, brows creased. "Then I'm sorry to say, Namjoon-ssi, but I cannot answer your questions for my friend."

"You're going to this company dinner whether you like it or not!"

"What's the point?" You ask her as you heave out a sigh, bringing your knees up against your chest to hug your arms around it and prop your chin up. "It'll only make things worse, Minyoung. I'm trying to get over them, not fall even more."

She knows how you feel, your insecurities getting the best of you and wants to make things right again. But Minyoung also understands that she isn't the best person for you to hear compliments from. It's them that should reassure your feelings. But they have no idea about your true emotions, thinking you broke up because you lost interest.

She can still remember the broken face the CEO had on, a first for her to see him in such a state.

He was broken, hurt, and just so very confused.

So seeing you and hearing the sadness of your tone, Minyoung sighs.

"Come on, bubs, I don't wanna go alone and be lonely," she pouts, practically whining.

"Youngie, you're gorgeous, you won't be alone for long, trust me."

"But I wanna hang with you~" she drags out. "Come on, tell me when was the last time we got to hang out?"

You sigh. "Look, I'd love to hang but I can't go there. Not at the company dinner."

Yet the longer you refuse, the more consistent Minyoung is, whining and pulling at your arm with a pout, showing no signs of giving up so eventually you have to give in.

How can you ever say no?

Your arrival doesn't fly past their views, a sight they hadn't expected to see that night. But there you are, with Minyoung by your side looking a little conscious as your best friend tries to tell you to feel otherwise.

And she's right because you are stunning.

You've always been stunning but the dress and light makeup you have on makes your beauty pop a little more. You wear a pretty rose gold dress that falls just above your knees with off the shoulder straps, hair falling down behind you in an elegant manner. You avoid looking around, something they feel they know the reason to, and their heart aches knowing they can't just walk up to you and tell you how beautiful you look.

"I'm gonna go outside for a sec. The music is getting a little too loud."

Even if that was true, it isn't the exact reason why you're heading out but you can't tell Minyoung that and have her worrying about you when tonight is a party and she wanted to have fun. You can't ruin her good time so when she nods at you to go on, you leave without another moment of hesitation, not bothering to look anywhere else but the way that leads to the doors outside.

The night breeze is chilly when you head out and begin to regret not bringing a sweater to keep you warm.

You don't know how long time has passed but you're sure it's passed long enough with the stars twinkling up above.

It reminds you of that time with you, Namjoon, and Seokjin. A late night after staying up past work time, collecting datas and writing up reports. But you shake your head to rid of the thoughts before you become too invested into it, knowing it won't be good for your poor heart. The breeze is cold and you hug yourself, leaning against the wall of the building as a sigh escapes you, just waiting for time to pass until Minyoung finally feels like leaving.

"Lonely tonight?"

You almost flinch at the voice but keep yourself calm as you look up to find a stranger who looks sort of tipsy.

"Uh..just needed some fresh air," you respond with a tight forceful smile, eyes avoiding looking into his because you know he's up to no good.

You're scared.

Should you walk back in? But wouldn't that be rude? But this is about your safety.

You don't know what to do. You can't even make up an excuse about being taken because you aren't.

You're single and lonely and heartbroken.

"Looks like you need some company," the man notes but you shake your head, cringing.

"I'm alright," you promise.

"Nah, I'll just stay right here," he decides and leans against the wall, body coming closer as he blatantly stares at you. You shift away uncomfortably but he takes your wrist and has you flinching.

"Please don't."

"Oh come on, don't be scared," he urges but you're already trembling. "I won't bite, I promise." A smirk curls along his lips. "Unless you want me to."

Someone wraps their arm around your shoulders, pulling you back flushed against them as he forcefully pushes the drunken man back to stumble upon his own two feet. "She doesn't want anything to do with you," he says in a low demanding growl.

You know that voice and your heart begins to beat rapidly.

Yet at the same time, it throbs with pain.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was taken," he slurs his words and leaves not a moment too soon.

You aren't taken but it feels a little better knowing that can be an excuse to have that man leaving. You look up at Hoseok who refuses to look away until he's sure the man is gone before he looks back down at you.

"Sorry," he coughs awkwardly as he takes his hand off you and pulls away.

You already miss the warmth.

You look down at the ground, too afraid to meet his gaze. "Thank you."

"Yeah."

It's awkward, not knowing what else to say and the breeze passes by again, making you shiver at the cold.

Hoseok takes off his suit jacket without hesitation and drapes it over you to help you keep warm. It smells like him. Smells like them.

"You should head back in, stay with Minyoung," he says and then strides off, the heels of his shoes clicking as he walks away.

What Hoseok doesn't know is that the reason you left in the first place was to stop yourself from hurting while watching them surrounded by so many girls begging for their attention.

"Y/N, how'd you do it?"

"Hm?"

"You know," the girl shifts from side to side with a pretty grin that makes you uncomfortable, "how'd you manage to have them date you?"

Oh. "Sorry but I-"

"Why ask her that? She was clearly dumped."

Not really but it still hurts hearing that part of the story. Perhaps if you hadn't ended things early, maybe they would have been the one to call things off in the future.

"But she was still able to date them so I want advice!" She turns to you again, mischievous, a smirk curling at her red lips. "Did you..you know," they both chuckle knowingly, "seduce them? How'd you do it? I want tips. What should I do? Wear more revealing clothes? Wear more makeup? But then again you're kinda plain so maybe I should go for more subtle looks? Do the bosses like the boring ones more?"

Ouch.

"Hey! Stop harassing Y/N!" Minyoung is quick to pull you back behind you as she steps up boldly with piercing eyes at glares at the girl.

"What? I'm just trying to get myself some men," she says as if those words that were spoken to you had no ill intentions.

"Well do that somewhere else. I will not have you belittling my friend."

"I'm just telling the truth, what's wrong with that?"

That fuels your friend's anger. "Oh I'm gonna-"

But you take her arm, pulling her back. "Youngie, it isn't worth it."

"Oh hell no! How dare she-!"

"What is going on here?" The voice makes everyone in the room turn still and tense, knowing exactly who it is.

You and Minyoung turn around as Seokjin walks up towards the group, your heads falling forward to the floor in shame.

"Well?" He prompts, a brow raised and expecting an answer.

"Minyoung and Y/N were bullying me," the girl says and it makes Minyoung want to lash out but you're quick to tug at her arm before she can do so.

Seokjin turns to the two of you. "Is that right?"

Your friend is about to answer when you pull her back, head suddenly perking up to stare straight into Seokjin's eyes and say, "Yes, it is."

You want to know what he'll say to that.

Will he believe you? Or see it as a clear lie like that time you told them you didn't love them back?

His eyes widens a bit at your unexpected reply but eventually Seokjin lets out a sigh. "You may go," he tells the girl and Minyoung.

She leaves feeling as if she's won while Minyoung gives you a silent comforting stare before going.

The room remains quiet for a while as you avoid his gaze once more, not knowing what he'll do or say. Surely he knows you were lying, right? But then again, even if you weren't, what will he do? Punish you? Tell you that you're a disappointment and a failure like you know you are?

"Are you okay?"

Somehow he only manages to make your heart race yet ache again at the same time.

"Yes," you reply though in a whisper.

He doesn't say anything else so you take your little bow and leave without another word, knowing that being in the presence of him, in the presence of any of them, you'll feel like dying because it hurts so much.

You've fallen asleep again but when you're awaken, it isn't Namjoon as you expect for it to be.

It's Jungkook.

He wakes you though avoids your eyes for his own sake and you thank him as you begin to clean up.

But something goes wrong, something goes terribly wrong. Your vision begins to grow blurry, head pounding with a throbbing pain and your legs almost gives in under you.

"J..Jungkook..."

You don't know what happens after that.

His phone rings while he's watching you with a silent gaze, mind running all over the place at just the sight of your sleeping face alone.

"Yeah, hyung?"

"Why aren't you home?" Yoongi asks with worry. "Are you alright?"

"I had to take Y/N to the hospital."

The other line goes into a panic. "What?"

"She passed out about an hour ago and the doctor says there's clear signs of insomnia." His voice begins to break, eyes forming with tears knowing you hadn't been taking good care of your own health for whatever reason. And now here you are, passed out and so, so tired. "She's been neglecting her health for days, hyung, I don't...I don't know what to do. I'm scared, hyung. Y/N looks so weak and fragile I don't want her to keep going like this. Don't you think...don't you think there are other reasons as to why she broke things off?"

He wants to have hope, to feel as if he's still needed in your life and that you still care as much as he does for you.

Jungkook is scared.

So scared.

"Maybe we weren't treating her well, maybe..maybe she felt too insecure and was afraid our love wasn't enough. I don't know, hyung, I'm just so scared."

"Stay right there, Jungkook. We'll be over in a few minutes okay?"

You never expected to wake up in the hospital, needless to say in a VIP room. But here you are, eyes slowly adjusting to the light of the room where the sun falls in through the windows, waking you up.

You groan a little and feel a hand weighing against yours.

The man instantly looks up at the sound of your voice, breath hitching, and you find Jungkook's eyes filled with worry and pain.

"Y/N!"

Y/N.

Gosh you miss how he calls your name.

Before you can ask him why he's here and why you're in a VIP room, he climbs into the bed without a word, straddling you and pulling your body flushed against him.

"God I was so scared," he lets out a shaky sigh and you can feel the trembling of his body against yours.

He's so strong, always working out, muscles firmly holding onto you with no signs of letting go and it breaks your heart knowing he still scares oh so much for you and your wellbeing. But why? Why would he still care so much? Why would he begin crying uncontrollably? You've hurt them so much, hurt him. When he told you he loved you, you only responded by ripping his whole heart out and tossing it to the floor as if you had no emotions whatsoever.

Yet here he is, right there when you collapsed, right there to bring you help, right there as you woke up.

Right here to care as he's always done.

You don't get it.

"Jungkook..-" You pull away guiltily, pushing him off so that his arms can no longer wrap themselves around you with eyes that refuses to look into his. "Please stop. We..we're over and-"

"I know why you did it."

You look up, confusion clear on your face. "What?"

"You're scared," he says, hurt still in his gaze, painful tears of the rain falling but he wipes them away. "I know you're scared, Y/N. You're scared of falling in love because you're not sure whether we'll make it or not, because you think that we'll one day stop loving you. But I have to tell you this, Y/N." He takes both your hands, squeezing it tightly but not too much because he's afraid he'll hurt you. He looks into your eyes, his own so red and glossy, nose and cheeks flushed from crying, and a few more tears slips.

"Love is about taking risks," he tells you. "It's about not knowing if things will end in vain or you'll spend the rest of your life with them yet still risking it all because you love them." He releases a hand, opening one and placing it right at his chest, right above his heart. "Break my heart, Y/N. Break it, tear it, rip it into tiny pieces. Hurt me as much as you want to. Just..!" He hiccups, face distorted with so much pain it's tormenting seeing him like this.

"I love you, Y/N. I really, really love you." You remain silent but he keeps going. "I don't care how much you'll hurt me, I don't care how many times you do it just..please," he begs and begs over and over, "please don't leave me. Please don't leave us. I love you so much that it hurts but I'd rather feel this than to see you beat your own self up thinking you aren't good enough and that you will never be good enough, always thinking less of yourself and not understanding how beautiful and perfect you are.

"Please let us love you." He wraps his arms around you again, head buried against shoulder. "Let me love you. I will love you until the end of time. I will love you while you learn to love everything about your own self."

"You told them?"

"I..." She hesitates, her teeth clenched with a slight guilt as she scratch the back of her head before letting out a heavy sigh. "Y/N, I just...I can't keep watching you destroy your own self like that," she tells you. "You are so much more than what those people think, so much more than what you think. And I didn't want them thinking the only reason you left was because you fell out of interest. You're scared, I know, but Y/N," she walks up to you, taking your hand with a pleading expression plastered on her face, "their love for you isn't feeble. I know you're afraid, thinking they deserve more but trust me when I say this,"

She squeezes your hand, a gentle smile curling along het lips. "You are more than enough. More than just kind and beautiful and perfect and sweet. You deserve the whole world but the world will never deserve you. And I think that they're the only ones who can truly show you that. Give this another chance, hm? You'll never find yourself any other boys like them who are so willing to do everything if it means having you by their sides. They love you, Y/N, they truly do."

Three little soft knocks and it's accompanied by a light grunt.

"Come in," the voice grumbles and you worry that perhaps this isn't a good time.

But you stop yourself, knowing that hesitation and overthinking will only make you crawl back into your little hole and you cannot have that. So you take a deep breath, in and out, though it is shaky, and count one two three, fingers clutching the familiar suit jacket in hand, before you twist open the door to let yourself in.

He doesn't look up to see who is there, eyes too focused on the screen in front of him, brows creased with concentration, fingers tapping away. You feel so nervous. "What is it?" The man asks and you find yourself holding your breath.

There is a moment of hesitation before you speak up. "..Mr. Jung, I've come to return the jacket you lent me the other day."

His head is quick to snap up, fingers frozen, eyes widening as he realizes that it's you.

You think your heart may explode with how hard it's beating against your chest, slowly, loudly, and it's hard keeping eye contact with him because he looks like that, handsome as ever, so your eyes are the first to look away as always. Though this time for a different reason.

Maybe.

You swallow a lump in your throat as you can hear his footsteps walking your way, feeling the heat of your body radiating. You hope you aren't blushing because his room has very good lighting and right now you don't want to handle having him see your flushed cheeks.

"Y/N."

"U-um.." You start panicking at how close he's coming, taking a step back to try and give space but Jung Hoseok only steps forward when you walk back until your back hits the wall with a thud and he's right there, placing a hand right next to your head.

"Can you look at me?" He asks softly. "Please."

You don't do as he asks so he lets out a little sigh, a hand coming up to your face for his forefinger and thumb to caress your chin. When you don't resist, he lifts it up with ease as you clutch onto the jacket in hand, hugging it tight against you, awaiting the moment when you have to look up to him in order to meet his gaze.

Your heart skips a beat.

Yet it also throbs at the sight of him.

He leans in without a word, so slowly, and you don't find yourself pulling away.

Jung Hoseok hesitates for the first time, lips just inches away from yours, lids fluttering almost closed but he still watches you from his hooded gaze, waiting for you to pull away and tell him no, that you don't want this, that you still need time to figure everything out now that they know the truth. The real truth.

Though the three words are still on the tip of your tongues, waiting, hoping, wishing.

Can he say it?

Can you?

He closes the distance and you feel soft, soft lips on top of yours. The jacket falls from your hold and your heart flutters and throbs at the same time, a kiss that had been waiting too long, a kiss you hadn't expected when you walked in but welcomed, a kiss that leaves so sweet yet too quick for your liking because Jung Hoseok pulls away.

You watch him carefully. His face crumbles with pain, eyes closed shut, head falling to rest against your shoulder as you hold your breath, not really sure if the kiss really just happened or not.

He snakes his hands around your torso, pulls you in flushed against him, and holds you.

He holds you, and holds you, and cries little whimpers that makes your own chest tighten as tears fall on their own accord.

You stay like that for a while before he pulls away, sniffling and looking away, refusing to let you see him with tears as he wipes them away. He clears his throat and picks up the jacket that had fallen on the floor, back turning your way as he heads for his desk. He drops the flimsy thing onto the table and just stands there, silent for a few more seconds.

"We still need to talk about...what's going to happen." You nod though he can't see it. "We should have some time in about three hours, will you come then?"

"..Yes."

He dismisses you and you leave without another word.

Minyoung is there a few doors away, looking at you with a questioning gaze as she hugs your arm while the two of you walk back to your cubicle. "So..how'd it go?"

"I...don't know. I honestly don't know."

And so the three hours await.

But you don't come.

Ten minutes pass and another five. No sign.

It pains them thinking that perhaps you really don't want to fix this. But they're too persistent and their love for you is too strong to just give up like that.

So Yoongi sighs as he stands. "I'm gonna look for her."

Taehyung and Jimin follows him out the door.

"Stop it, get away!" They hear a familiar voice a floor down and run over because if Minyoung's shouting and feeling pissed then that must mean it has something to do with you. "Y/N, it's okay."

"What the hell is going on?" Yoongi quickly intervenes in on the scene as they run to your side who's looking so small as you cry.

"Y/N?" Jimin calls, worried.

"What did you do to Y/N?" Taehyung demands as he glares at the man, waiting to just rip his head out.

"Nothing! I promise!"

"You were flirting with her and tried to touch her!" Minyoung shouts otherwise.

"What's wrong with that?" He scoffs. "I just touched her shoulder, that's it."

Yoongi pushes the man in an instant. "Some people hate it when people touch them!"

But you let Jimin hold you, let him pull you into his arms as you cry into his chest.

"You're fired."

"What? But-"

"Leave."

He huffs and glares your way before stomping off, leaving Yoongi and Taehyung to turn back to you.

"Y/N.." They know you get scared when strangers touch you and an angry sigh leaves Yoongi's lips.

"Y/N?" Your friend worries but Taehyung puts a small pat on her shoulder.

"We'll take care of her," he tells her with a thin smile and she knows she can trust them.

They're fretting over you the second you walk in and see the tear stains on your face.

"What's wrong? What happened? Are you alright, baby? I mean..!" Jungkook mentally punches himself on the face. "Not baby! I mean, unless you — wait no, this is more important right now! Are you okay? Do I have to kill someone?"

You giggle at him and it's something that makes their hearts skip a beat, a sound they hadn't heard in such a long while. "I'm okay, I promise," you tell him sincerely. "I'm sorry for being late."

"You have no need," Namjoon says as he takes you to sit on the sofa while Seokjin hands you a cup of tea to help you calm down. "Take all the time you need," he tells you and honestly, you don't want to take up anymore time than what's already have been wasted.

But you're unsure of what to say, feeling so small as you take a sip of the tea and they watch you carefully.

You flush under their gaze, eyes falling to the floor. "Don't do that," you say in a soft whisper but they hear you. They always do.

"Do what?"

You shift a bit uncomfortably at Taehyung's question. "You know I hate that."

Jimin chuckles. "More like you're just too shy."

"..Perhaps."

"So.." You gulp at the words that comes out of Hoseok, knowing this is the beginning, and start to feel even more nervous. He lets out a soft sigh as if he understands. "We just want the best for you, Y/N," he says. "Whatever happens, whatever you want, whether it means getting back together or just completely and officially ending things but on an understanding term this time," he takes a moment, "we're willing to comply to whatever."

"But we still want you to know that we'll always love you, Y/N," Jimin vows. "We love you for the person you are whether you think that's believable or not. It isn't hard to love you. You're sweet and kind and gentle and always think of others at all times."

"You think you're selfish? Oh baby," Seokjin sighs, "you are anything but. If anything, you're the most sweetest person we have ever met. You don't have to give us anything, I promise you, just your care and heart, which you've already done such a good job when we were together."

"And to know that you felt like you were a burden," Yoongi stands to sit beside you, taking the cup of tea and placing it on the coffee table before taking your hands, "My love, you have done nothing but be a light in our lives. I love the times when you'd walk into our offices, greeting us with your precious smiles."

"And we love taking care of you," Taehyung says as he takes the seat on your other side. "I don't care if there's someone important to meet, I don't care if there's something important to attend to, because to me you are the most important out of anything. I'll drop everything even if you have just a slight cold."

"Tae-"

"I'm serious," he vows, fingers playing with your hair. "I love you."

"You don't have to feel the same," Namjoon says, "just...if you're willing to try again, we'll do everything in our power to make sure you feel loved."

"I'm not scared about that," you tell them and take a deep breath before continuing. "I know.." you feel your chest tightening, nose feeling congested, tears beginning to brim, "I-I know you care and love..a lot. But I..." you swallow a lump in your throat and it hurts them to see you like this, "how will I ever be enough?" You ask, voice cracking and that alone shatters their hearts.

"Oh baby.."

They're there surrounding you in an instant before the first tear falls and everything else follows. They hold you, hold you tightly, and you don't know why you thought you could have ever make it out successfully without them. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Baby you are more than enough."

"Shh..it's okay."

"We're right here."

It's so soft, so gentle, a warmth you've been missing for so many days, almost a whole month. You remember always lying in your bed at the end of the day, remembering Jungkook's soft, broken words as he told you he loved you, remembering the words you told them that shattered their hearts.

Because it's untrue, it is so untrue. And you have to let them know that. That you don't not love them.

"I miss you," you say, whimpering and leaning in closer to their holds. "I miss you and I love you."

"Everything okay?" Minyoung asks.

You smile at her question. "Everything's great. Thank you."

A few important binders in hand laid upon your arms as your white pumps clicks under you, you rush to try to get to your destination on time. Perhaps you'll be a few minutes early but it's better that way than to be late. After all, you'd hate to disappoint anyone.

Double checking through everything in hand, your feet rounds to the right, eyes looking up for just a split second to check whether you'll bump into anything or anyone, only for your breath to hitch as you take a double take and realize who is walking down the hall just meters away.

You think he hears your gasp and you're quick to turn around, thinking that perhaps you can take a few more minutes before arriving to your destination, yet your clumsy self only drives you to turn too fast and hit your head against the wall.

"Y/N!"

Crap.

His voice alone makes your heart speed up so fast you think it's very possible it'll fall right out of your chest if you aren't too careful. But this is Park Jimin you're talking about, how can you be too careful when he's the one making your heart race like this?

"Are you running away from me?" He asks, a playful undertone lying in his voice as he comes closer. Jimin crosses his arms against his chest as he studies you, face flushed and trying to avoid his gaze. "Ah, you're ignoring us again."

You're quick to turn and snap your eyes up at him. "What?! No!"

"I know," he teases with a light chuckle and brings his arms around you to pull you in close. Your face flushes again, head tilted down and the man frowns. "Come on, bubs, you're killing me here."

"It's just.." You sigh and with a light thud, your forehead meets his chest. "I don't know. You make me shy, alright?"

He laughs as he sways you from side to side. "I do that?"

"You have no idea," you grumble.

"Baby if there's anyone that have to worry about such things, it's me."

Narrowing your gaze with suspicion, you look up at him. "That's a lie."

"How can that be? You're pretty and cute, whose heart wouldn't race when it comes to you? Do you have any idea how hard it was watching you from before we got together and after you broke things off? Everyone wants a piece of you, Y/N."

"That's not true."

"It is so," he says, bopping your nose with his own, "you're just oblivious."

"Why does it matter anyway?" You shrug. "I'd rather have this love that's true than be with ones who only cares about looks."

"Aww, baby," Jimin coos. "I really love you, you know that?" He leans in just close enough to almost kiss your lips if you hadn't ducked away and shyly push him away.

"Jimin! Someone might see!" You quickly scold, cheeks blushing.

Yet he pouts. "Now that's the first time someone's pushed me away for wanting to kiss them. What's wrong with that?"

"People talk, okay?" You say. "Not towards you because you're an executive but I hear things all the time and I don't really wanna hear about my dating life while I'm working."

He sucks his teeth, annoyed. "People are always so nosy," he huffs before taking your hand and begins to lead you off the opposite end of where you have to be. "Come on, let's go somewhere private."

"W-wait but Jimin I have to-"

"Baby I'm one of the owners of this building, I'll just tell them you're occupied by me," he winks and before you can say anything else, the man is already whisking you away.

"You look so tired, are you alright?"

He shakes his head quickly to wake himself up, eyes closing tightly and opening a few times before sighing. "I'm alright baby."

But you know he isn't really. "Have you gotten any rest at all?" You ask him, worry clear in your voice.

Yoongi looks up at you with a fond gaze, heart softening because of how concerned you look but he also hates worrying you. So he smiles and reaches out for your hand in his lone office where no one but the two of you are present. You take his hand, rounding around his desk and over to him to allow the man to wrap his arms around your waist and lay his head against your stomach.

"I'll be alright, I promise."

"You have to remember to take breaks in between, Yoons."

Yoons. He likes it when you call him that. Likes the gentle feeling of your fingers running along his hair.

"I know, I know."

"The boys will worry too if they knew." You sigh. "Have you eaten?"

"I've got lunch in two hours," he says, "Will you join me then?"

He takes your hand to press a kiss upon the back, eyes gazing up at you through his lashes, and you smile, nodding. "Of course."

He pretends to be asleep when you walk in, a soft little gasp leaving your lips when you find him at his desk, head pressed down atop his arm as he rests them on the surface, eyes closed.

He hears your footsteps closing in on him, a moment of silence passing as you stand for a few seconds just watching him before beginning to clean his desk up in a quiet manner. His binders and papers are neatly stacked up, ipad set off to a safe side, and Taehyung almost gives himself away because he wants to smile. But he keeps himself composed, knowing well how to act.

When his desk his clean, you're standing next to him, a soft gaze on you as you watch him sleep. He feels gentle fingers weaving through the little tangles of his hairs before you lean in and he feels a kiss pressed against his head.

"I love you," you whisper.

So when you move away, he grabs ahold of your wrist, causing you to gasp, and pulls you right into his lap.

"Tae!"

"I love you too," he sighs, resting his face into your neck and laying a kiss right there.

"You okay?"

"Hm?"

"Everything alright?"

It's so gentle and sincere it makes your heart warm so you smile, sincerely, and answer him with a little kiss to his cheek. "Everything's great, Jin."

"Good," he smiles and presses a kiss to your temple.

There are still gossips going around but you know that as long as you're with them, it will never stop and people will always talk no matter what. You've gotten used to it and at this point, you don't really care anymore.

After all, Minyoung will come to defend your honor and if she doesn't then she'll definitely snitch to the boys, leading to consequences the others will have to face.

"You look happier these days," Namjoon notes.

"Of course," you giggle when Jungkook crawls into your arms. "I'm happy. Thank you."

"Why thank us?" The little one asks with a confused pout.

"You're the reason," you tell him. "I'm still slightly scared but I know that I'll never forget the love you've given me and how happy we all are. It'll hurt if we ever end but I know I'll look back on this as a happy memory."

"You say that as if we'll really end," Yoongi sighs as he plops down next to Hoseok.

"Well...you guys have been together for a while so I highly doubt that will end but I don't-"

"My love, look at me," Namjoon commands in a soft tone and you do. How can you not? He leans in close as Jungkook lets him take you, tilting your head up for you to look up at him under his hold at your chin. "It doesn't matter how long some of us have been together, our love for you is neither weaker nor stronger. Can you trust me on that? Hm?"

"Mm..I'll try."

A kiss falls on your lip and he frowns. "I love you."

"I-I know," you're blushing, "I do too."

Another kiss but this time it comes from Jungkook. "But do you really know?"

"Looks like we'll just have to show babygirl until she can stop doubting this relationship."

"N-now hold on!" They're closing in, too close, attention all on you and it makes you flustered. "I..I didn't mean-"

A pair of lips falls onto yours again. Namjoon's soft yet firm, trying to get a message across that he will not tolerate your little moments of doubt. "You think too less of yourself, sweetheart, but we'll make it better."

"Mmm. Trust us, okay?"

"Do you trust us?"

"I do."

"Good. Now close your eyes."

"Don't you have a meeting in-"

"Shh, baby, just focus on us."

Lips on your shoulder, lips to your temple, and lips that whispers words of "I love you's" over and over again to make you forget that any bad moments that has made your heart hurt are over for now. There will still be moments when you'll doubt yourself, feel insecure, think you aren't what they deserve.

But as they press kisses upon you with smiles and giggles that echoes from your throat, you know that you'll be just fine.

"We'll make it better."

They always do.

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hallowxiu · 4 years ago

Text

A Humanistic Fascination

pairing: human!mammon/demon!gn!mc

word count: 3.6k

summary: After your sister Lilith died, you wondered what attracted her to humans in the first place. Your answer comes in the form of a white-haired human named Mammon.

a/n: well this was fun! I kind of want to turn this into a series where mammon is the human selected for the exchange program, but I’m not sure if anyone would be interested. Just let me know; I’m friendly, I don’t bite!! :)

Ever since the day Lilith died and you fell, you had an undying curiosity of humans. You wanted to know what it was about them that drew your sister in so much, a thirst where she was willing to risk and leave everything behind. While your brother Belphegor distanced himself from the humans he once adored, you had done the opposite. Before you and your brothers fell, you didn’t much care for humans. You didn’t dislike them, but you also didn’t like them either. Lilith and Belphegor were always the two to marvel at the creatures down below.

You wanted to know if you missed something. Maybe you didn’t see something the other two had. While your youngest brother now despised them, you wanted to see what drew him in in the first place. Humans had been somewhat of a touchy subject in the House of Lamentation. The obvious reason was Belphegor; anything human related would set him off and it wasn’t a pretty sight. However, the obvious shift in the room whenever humans were brought up was hard to miss.

As the second eldest, you had a bit of a responsibility placed on your shoulders to be a good role model, especially now that the brothers were lost and grieving. Recently, Lord Diavolo had suggested an exchange program where angels and humans would come to the Devildom to learn about the culture in an attempt to join the three realms and have peace. You thought enough time had passed since falling for the brothers to at least consider the idea, but Belphegor had a meltdown and Lucifer nearly locked him up over it. You also noticed a hesitance in your older brother as well. That being said, you wanted to make things easier for everyone. You made sure to help Lucifer with his paperwork so he could get at least some level of sleep, you kept Satan company whenever he felt lonely, you tried to understand all the lingo Leviathan had a tendency to throw out, you tried new foods with Beelzebub (as Belphegor wanted time alone more and more these days…), and you went shopping with Asmodeus every now and then. Belphegor was a different case; he was isolating himself more than Leviathan and you could barely get through to your younger brother. A part of you was hoping that by figuring out more about humans, that you’d somehow be able to get closer with your brother. It was a long shot, and you weren’t even sure it would work, but it was all you had. Even Beelzebub was having a hard time with him these days.

And that’s how you ended up in the human realm. Although you were trying to be a good role model, you did have to sneak away every now and then. Lucifer would never approve of you going to the human realm alone, he had become especially protective of you since falling. You couldn’t blame him; you knew he harbored a lot of blame for the way things ended with Lilith so you tried to be as understanding as you possibly could. That being said, you tried. You still needed to do some things for yourself, and this was one of them. You figured if Lord Diavolo really did plan on hosting an exchange program, growing accustomed to humans and their respective realm would do you some good. For the most part, you stayed hidden in the shadows. When your brothers would travel, like Asmodeus or Satan, they liked to be seen by humans. Never in their demon form (although Satan did lose his temper on that one trip; you try not to delve into that), but they liked to be acknowledged. You were closer to Leviathan in the sense that you liked to blend in with the humans rather than stand out. Unwanted attention might get you into trouble, and the last thing you needed was Lucifer chewing you out about being reckless.

Your eyes narrowed as you observed the streets, taking in the mannerisms of the humans walking by. You were in a busy city and it was mid-December with plenty of human holiday traditions popping up. The hustle and bustle of the city were appealing to you and you could see why so many humans marveled at cities and longed to live there. You were walking through the crowd, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat despite not being even a bit cold. You wanted to fit in though, so you tried to match everyone else. You noticed how everyone was too busy to look at one another; people rushing by too focused on their everyday lives. At the moment, you couldn’t tell what your two siblings found so appealing about humans. They seemed a little selfish if anything.

And, although ironic enough, you were too busy thinking to yourself to notice others around you, which led you straight into slamming into the chest of someone. “Oi, what the hell-- why don’t ya watch where you’re goin’?” The first thing you noticed was the accent. It was odd, and it certainly didn’t seem to match those of the people surrounding you. The second thing you noticed was the harsh attitude from the mere human you stumbled into. The audacity of some of these humans never failed to amaze you-- oh shit.

You blink several times as you look in front of you, a head of white fluffy hair taking up most of your vision. You still weren’t used to all the interesting colors humans picked to wear, despite the Devildom being filled to the brim with demons who also had some... unique tastes. Hair aside, he was absolutely stunning. You couldn’t find yourself able to look away-- was he also a demon? Did he put you under some kind of spell? Of course, you wouldn’t be surprised to see another demon lurking about, but still--

“Hello? Are ya deaf or somethin’? Ya can’t just go runnin’ into people and then stare at them with these bug eyes. It’s a bit weird, ya know.” Oh, right.

“Uh… sorry?” Not exactly what you planned on saying.

“Yeah…” The man looks at you with a raised eyebrow before clearing his throat and looking away. “Well, I’m in a bit of a rush, so I can’t just stand here all day. Just make sure ya don’t continue to slam into people. Not all of them are as nice as me.” He gives you a wink with that final line and you try to ignore the heat that’s building up in your face. Nice my ass, you can’t help but think. And nearly just as quick as he popped into your life, he vanished. You’re impressed with how fast these humans are; maybe you don’t give them enough credit.

“And where were you?” You were hoping to go unnoticed, but as your luck would have it, of course, Lucifer would catch you the second you walked through the front door. You weren’t a great liar and you both knew this, so you needed to play your cards right. You doubt he’d be happy to know you’ve been running around unsupervised in another realm.

“Uh--”

“You smell like human food.” Beelzebub is quick to point out as he walks into the living room. “Did you bring some human food? Are you going to share?” The red-headed demon is looking at you with a hopeful face and had he not just indirectly ratted you out, you’d probably feel bad for not having any food on you.

“I don’t have any food.” You put it simply and your brother pouts in response. Lucifer, however, is looking at you with a very intense gaze.

“And would you care to explain why you would smell like human food at all?” His arms are crossed over his chest and his foot is tapping against the polished floor. Yeah, you were definitely busted. “And why do you reek of cheap cologne? Were you out with a man?”

“Okay dad, calm down.” You put your hands up in submission. “I was not out with a man, I bumped into one on accident.” More like body slammed into one, but he didn’t need the details. “Maybe he had some human food on him, I don’t know why else I’d smell like it.”

“Must have slammed into him pretty hard to smell that strongly of humans. Unless, of course, the man you crossed paths with was a human.” You swallow thickly under Lucifer’s watchful eye. Damn, you really couldn’t get anything past that man.

“I don’t know why a human would be in the Devildom.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” Lucifer’s looking even more annoyed now. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that. You might have just walked into a trap. “Unless of course…”

“Well, look, maybe he was in the human realm and had a bit of a snack. Maybe he chomped on some humans, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I can’t keep track of every demon I happen to bump into, but next time I run into one I’ll be sure to take some notes and interview them just in case you don’t like how I smell when I come back home.”

“Watch how you talk to me.” Lucifer was getting a little worked up, but to be fair, so were you. You didn’t mean to be so defensive, but when dealing with someone as investigative as Lucifer, could you really be blamed?

“Well, this was fun and all,” you fake a yawn, “but I’m actually quite tired now. Think I’ll go to bed. Catch some shut-eye. Speaking of,” you point an accusing finger at the eldest, “you should too. All this lack of sleep is what makes you so grumpy.”

“Yes,” he deadpans, “I’m sure it’s the lack of sleep that has me like this.”

Okay, so maybe you had a bit of a problem. Not a big problem, but a problem nonetheless. It had been exactly two days since your first and last outing to the human realm. You had a good time overall, but a certain white-haired boy grabbed your attention and refused to let go. The problem? You knew nothing about him. All you knew was that he had an interesting accent and that he maybe lived in a city. At the very least, he had business in the city. If you still haven’t guessed, your problem is that you can’t get this kid out of your head. You didn’t plan on traveling back to the human realm so soon, but well, life happens and here you are. Right back in the same city as two days ago.

It was still as busy as last time, with people shoving their way down the streets, bags in hands and eyes glued to phone screens. It would be impossible to spot him in this crowd, so you’d have to snoop around. Was this really something you were proud of? No, but you were a demon and you let it justify the odd things you indulged in.

You made your way down a sidewalk, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat once again as you kept a watchful eye out. Your eyes landed on a small restaurant that was tucked away in a corner and the smell caught your attention. Having temporarily forgotten your mission, and instead thinking of picking up some food for Beelzebub, you made your way towards the restaurant. Pushing the door open, you heard a bell above you ring, alerting your presence to the workers.

“Good afternoon.” A cheerful woman says from behind the counter, currently in the middle of taking an order from a customer. You nod your head in response, debating internally whether or not bringing Beelzebub back food would be worth the scolding from Lucifer as yes, you would essentially be ratting yourself out. You could probably get Beelzebub to swear silence in turn for the food though. As you weigh the pros and cons in your head, you hear a familiar voice come from behind you which makes you freeze in place.

“Eh? What are ya doin’ here? Ya followin’ me or somethin’?” You knew the man was probably joking, but uh… yes. Well, you were at the start, technically, but as luck would have it you just happened to bump into him again, so technically you didn’t stalk him and technically you didn’t track him down. So, no, you were not creepy.

“Yes.” You deadpan, and the white-haired man looks puzzled for a minute before erupting into laughter.

“You’re funny.” He gives you a firm pat on the back as he walks by, and that’s when you take in his appearance. He was wearing an apron, so you could assume he was a waiter for the restaurant. Wow, weren’t you the luckiest demon on this planet? Your eyes scan his uniform, looking for a name tag. Your eyebrow quirks in amusement when you read the word ‘Mammon’. Did his parents hate him? Why would they name a child that? What next? Was his middle name Lucifer too?

“Your name is Mammon.” You deadpan once again.

“Yes.” He replies, a bit of a pout on his lips. You assume he gets comments on his name all the time. You wonder why he hasn’t legally changed it; humans have a process for that, don’t they? They love to change everything.

“It’s nice.” You weren’t lying. As a demon, you did appreciate names on humans that derived from your kind. Although definitely taboo for humans, it was always fascinating to you to see that some humans actually did walk around with demon names.

“Eh? Really?” He’s looking at you with wide eyes again before a dopey smile forms on his lips as the two of you stand chatting by the entrance. “I don’t get that a lot. Are you from around here? I haven’t seen ya much. Have ya been here before?”

“I’m new to the area.” It wasn’t really a lie. “So I’ve just been exploring the area, trying to take everything in. I thought this place smelled good so I came here. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” But it did make things easier. Now that you had a name to a face, maybe you’d be able to get him out of your head.

“So that’s the excuse you’re goin’ with, yeah?” There’s a playful grin on his lips before he leads you to a table. “Just sit tight, I’ll be the one takin’ your order, so glance over the menu, okay?” You can only nod in response as he’s gone almost immediately after. Well, Lucifer would definitely notice your scent now. Nothing about you smelled like a demon; in fact, you’re sure you smelled more human at this point than anything else.

Your eyes follow Mammon’s figure as he disappears into the back, doing who knows what. Cheap cologne, you remember Lucifer bringing that up the other day. You didn’t think Mammon smelled like cheap cologne, he actually smelled quite nice.

You decided to bring your attention to the menu placed on the table in front of you as you found yourself getting too distracted and you didn’t want to risk looking like an actual stalker (although that’s already up in the air) when Mammon comes back. Your eyebrow quirked as you looked over the food. So it’s a café type of place? How cute, you can’t help but think to yourself. You weren’t too hungry, but the longer you stayed there the longer you’d be able to see Mammon. You could always bring it back to Beelzebub.

“Decide on anythin’ yet?” He asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Why didn’t you sense his arrival? You give him a confused look when he places a mug down in front of you. “What? Ya look like a hot chocolate kind of… person?” You stifle a laugh at his odd attempt to address you.

“I do like hot chocolate.” Was it hot in here or was it just you? You cup your hands around the mug and try not to look up at the white-haired man in fear of staring at him like a creep.

“Of course. My intuition is never wrong.” He gives you a wink, which you happen to look up just in time to catch, and low and behold your face is beet red. Just your luck. “So? What do ya want?”

“What do I want?” You choke out and Mammon looks at you with another raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, what do ya want to eat?” Duh.

“U-Uh, yeah, this!” In a panic, you quickly point at a random spot on the menu, to which Mammon bends down to examine it.

“So you’re big on sweets, yeah? I like chocolate too, but that’s a lot even for me.” He has a toothy grin on his face and you quickly look down to see just what exactly it was that you picked out. A chocolate cake drizzled in chocolate sauce served with a side of chocolate wafers. Yeah, that wouldn’t have been your pick if you had actually paid attention, but it is what it is.

“It’s because I’m so sweet.” Yeah, you hated that the second it left your mouth. Mammon, however, seemed to like it as he blurted out a laugh.

“I can’t say that I disagree.” He looks thoughtful for a moment before shifting on his feet. “I’m about to go on break, would ya mind if I sat with ya?” And cue your cheeks heating up again. You just hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Sure, yeah, I don’t mind.” You’re scratching at the back of your neck shyly as you look around the mostly empty restaurant.

“Cool!” Your face is buried in your hands once the man leaves, a shaky sigh leaving you. Did he want to sit with you? You didn’t know if you should consider yourself lucky or unlucky at this point.

At least ten minutes went by before Mammon joined you at your table, the man pulling out his phone as he sat in the empty seat. He was clearly excited to be on break, the man rambling about his day and all the annoying customers he had to deal with. You listen silently as you pick at your cake. You had forced yourself to eat half of it before he joined you, not wanting to look like you didn’t like it and have the white-haired boy ask you questions regarding it. You were still unsure how to feel about his company, but a part of you felt lighter than before.

“What time do you work until?” You found yourself asking and you shyly glanced over at the other.

“I close.” There’s a pout on his lips and you find yourself smiling. “Kinda sucks, but the pay is alright. Better than nothin’ anyway, especially with the holidays comin’ up and all.” He’s playing with his fingers as he glances down at his phone. Was he waiting for something? Maybe he had a partner and he was waiting for them to text him back. For some reason, that thought makes you frown. “Ah, actually,” there’s a sheepish smile on his lips and his cheeks are turning a pretty shade of red, “I was wonderin’ if I could actually get your number.” He’s scratching at the back of his neck and you feel your heart skip several beats in response. He wanted your number? Your number? Him? Your expression must have startled him as the man across from you started stammering out an excuse. “Ah, but, actually-- if it’s too invasive, I didn’t mean anythin’ like that-- I swear, oh god.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” You were beyond grateful, but there was only one teenie tiny issue. “I don’t have a phone.” Well, a human phone that is. You had a perfectly working D.D.D, but nothing that could interact with the human realm. Mammon looks slightly dejected and you know that he doesn’t buy your excuse. You weren’t surprised, a lot of humans seemed to have phones in this era. Living without one seemed to be impossible for them. And, as if the universe wanted to punish you for flirting with a human that was so beneath you, your D.D.D immediately goes off.

Your face pales as you just stare in horror at Mammon. He looks slightly annoyed, though you can tell he’s trying to play it off. That had to sting. “Look, it’s cool. Ya don’t owe me any explanations if ya don’t want me havin’ your number.” He checks his phone once again, the silence in the air suffocating you. “Ya should probably answer that, don’t ya think?” Yeah, he was definitely annoyed with you. You clumsily grab your D.D.D from your pocket, nearly dropping it in the process. You swear under your breath when seeing it’s Lucifer. You wonder what the odds were of him finding out you were in the human realm.

“I uh, I have to go.”

“Important call?” There was bitterness just barely contained in his voice. How did things go so wrong so fast?

“I’m sorry.” You say lamely before leaving all the human currency you had on the table and darted out the doors of the restaurant. God, you’d never be able to show your face in the human realm again. That embarrassment would last for centuries, you were sure of it.

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago

Text

Princess Part 4

Harry Potter Marauders Era

Link to Part 3

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: E- smut

____

Miserable

It was the word that best describes Regulus’ current predicament. It had been three weeks since you wanted a break. Three weeks with little contact other than class. You would still talk to him then but that was it. Regulus found himself dying for any bit of attention that you would throw his way. He had never been more lonely in his life! Sure, Regulus had Evan and his other friends but they weren’t you. They weren’t the girl that knew everything about him!

It didn’t help that his parents were pissed at him too. He had received his first howler the week before. Regulus had been used to witnessing Sirius get howlers over the years but the moment the Black family owl dropped one in front of him, Regulus felt his stomach drop.

“Oh shit.”

He muttered before hesitantly picking up the red envelope. Evan, who had been quietly trying to nurse his hangover with a piece of toast, looked up

“You better run for it.”

Regulus was not about to open the letter in front of god and everyone. His dark eyes flickered to you. You were sitting on Emma’s other side and had looked up when the owl dropped the envelope. Regulus muttered what sounded like fuck under his breath before getting up and racing out of the great hall.

He had barely made it out of the room when Walburga Black’s shrill voice began to ring out…

“REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK! I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU! HOW DARE YOU BREAK Y/N’S HEART THE WAY YOU HAVE! SHE IS YOUR FIANCE AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! IF YOU RUIN THIS ENGAGEMENT TO A DECENT WOMAN WHO YOUR FATHER AND I LOVE DEEPLY YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF THE NEXT DAY! STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR BLOOD TRAITOR OF A BROTHER AND BE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE! “

Regulus stepped back into the great hall red as a tomato before sitting back down. He didn’t dare look in your direction nor anyone else's. He didn’t want to see the expression of pity on Evan’s face or the way Antonin Dolohov and his merry band of misfits were laughing. All Regulus wanted to do at the moment was to find a hole to crawl into and die.

What has this girl done to me? I’m a bloody mess. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. It’s a wonder I can do anything!

Regulus thought angrily as he ran a hand through his sweaty curls. He lay on his back in bed trying to find the will to sleep. All of Regulus felt tense. If he needed any more proof that you were his soulmate, he had it now. His skin felt as though there were ants crawling all over him. He was a sweaty itching mess and nothing that he did could help his situation.

At some point, he had yanked the t-shirt that he was wearing over his head and removed other articles of clothing until he lay nude trying to find air. The dormitory seemed stuffier and hotter than normal. For being in the dungeons, the room was hotter than necessary!

The pain between his legs was worse than the mental anguish. As much as he didn’t want to be dramatic at this particular moment (normally he didn’t mind being dramatic but this night...no), Regulus couldn’t help it. 3 weeks and no sex had left Regulus dying to be inside of you. He needed the physical love that the two of you shared. It didn’t matter how much “extra” time he took in the shower or how many nights he lay in bed with the curtains closed, he couldn’t come.

“You might as well face it. She’s your soulmate. You need Y/n. If you want I can talk to her. It will be awkward as hell for me but you are my best friend and right now your needs are more important.”

Evan had offered earlier that day. Regulus instantly shook his head. He wasn’t about to have his best friend fighting his battles. Evan had done that enough as it was. He had been spending the better part of the last three weeks making Alexander “two names” life hell.

“Reg, you're jacking off more than a 13-year-old. I thought that you were bad then but now I am starting to think otherwise. I bet Y/n is a mess without you too. I caught her staring at you in class today. She was looking at your hands biting her lip. I want to vomit saying this but would you please go sleep with my cousin?”

Regulus shook the thought from his head as he ran his hand over his erection once more. It didn’t matter how many times he touched himself. It wasn’t going to work. Sex was the go-to “coping” mechanism that the two of you had been using since age 14. It wasn’t always a coping mechanism either. The two of you were horny little teenage kids who had the pleasure of being able to touch each other without getting into trouble.

“Fucking hell!”

Regulus gave up. Regulus could only wonder if Evan was right? Were you lying in your bed aching for him as badly as he was for you?

(Meanwhile)

If Regulus only knew how right he was. You sat in your bed with your knees drawn up to your chest. It had been three fucking weeks and you missed Regulus horribly!

You had almost gone to him when Walburga sent the howler. Without speaking to him, you knew how embarrassed your love was. It used to be thrilling to watch Sirius get the howlers when he was still at Hogwarts. Both Regulus and yourself used to love watching Sirius laughing whenever he got a howler. Walburga’s screeching and screaming never seemed to bother Sirius the way it did Regulus.

It had taken all that you had not to go to Regulus after he opened Walburga’s “scream-o-gram” but decided not to. Regulus didn’t look as if he wanted to be consoled anyway. After the way the past three weeks had turned out, Regulus would probably shove you away if you tried to comfort him.

You were better off being miserable alone and regretting your life choices.

Earlier that day you lay with your head on Emma’s lap.

“I’m an idiot. I throw away perfectly good marriage proposals because I can't handle being ignored. I’m such a baby.”

Emma gently patted your head.

“Now darling you didn’t throw away the proposal. Regulus will give you back your ring. You only asked for a break. You didn’t refuse him altogether. This is Regulus that we are talking about. His loyalty to you is too perfect. If it makes you feel better, Evan said Regulus is a mess right now also. Why don’t you two go be a mess together and let him touch you?”

You shivered at the memory of the conversation with Emma earlier. At the moment, you would give anything to have Regulus touch you. You needed him. That was putting things lightly. Never in your life had you wanted Regulus to make love to you so badly!

You were staying wet! All of your clothes felt more confining than ever! That day in potions you found yourself staring at Regulus’ hands aching for him to touch your breasts. You would let him rip the bra right off of you if Regulus had asked. When you accidentally brushed against him and noticed the erection building in Regulus’ trousers you had to “fake a migraine” and leave class early. Your face was blood red when you quickly muttered an apology to Slughorn before gathering up your things and rushing out of the room. You couldn’t even meet Regulus’ concerned gaze or Evan’s scowl.

After that rather unpleasant scene, you had refused to leave your dormitory. Things got even worse around 7 pm when Emma came into the dormitory with a letter from your aunt Druella. To add more bad news to your already unlucky day, you also found out that your father had passed away in Azkaban. You hadn’t seen your father in years. To be honest, he was a total embarrassment. After he was sent away rather than putting up a fight and dying valiantly, no one in the Rosier family wanted much to do with him. He still was, however, your father and now he was dead.

You slowly slipped out of bed and decided to head to the room of requirement. The last thing that you really wanted was to stay in the dormitory a moment longer. At least in the room of requirement you would be able to sit and read a book quietly.

Walking into the common room, you froze the moment that you saw Regulus sitting on the couch facing the fireplace. He quickly stood the moment that he noticed you. You wanted to look away but couldn't. Regulus looked as rough as you felt. His normally neat and put together appearance was sloppy. He stood with his dress shirt untucked and curls an unruly mess.

“Where are you going?”

“Room of requirement.”

You replied before moving to walk around him. Regulus reached out and grabbed your wrist.

“You know the prefects will be out.”

“Then come with me.”

You said, softly. Regulus shrugged and followed you out of the common room. He intertwined his hand with yours. Both of you stopped and looked down at your joined hands. The tingling clearly hit both of you at the same time. Regulus had to fight the urge to pull you into a kiss. He didn’t want to rush into anything too quickly. The last thing that he wanted was for a prefect to catch the two of you wandering the hallways. Regulus could hex whoever it was and feel no guilt in doing that. He would feel no guilt about it. The prefects were the least of his worries. Regulus was more worried about you shoving him away.

The next few minutes consisted of the two of you sneaking through the hallways dodging prefects. Regulus quickly ushered you into the room. You internally sighed as you realized the room of requirement was set up as it always was when the two of you came for a visit. A nice bed sat in the middle of the room waiting for Regulus and yourself to roll around in it.

Regulus, meanwhile, turned back to you after locking the door and putting a few charms on it. The last thing that he wanted was for someone to come in on the both of you.

“Y/n…”

“My father died.”

You said, softly. Regulus returned to his place beside you. Having him be this close to you again was more comforting than anything you had experienced that day.

“I know. I heard.”

Regulus replied, softly. His voice was gentle as he stepped closer.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to be with you...even if you despise me.”

You turned to him quickly.

“I don’t despise you, Reggie.”

Regulus waited a moment longer before pulling you into his arms. You snuggled your face into his shoulder. A hand wrapped around the back of your head to hold you tighter.

“I’m sorry...about everything.”

Regulus said, softly.

“I was a bad fiance. I should have never stayed as busy as I was. You’re not second to me and I don’t want you to be another Narcissa Malfoy either. I want you to be happy because I make you happy. I love you.”

Regulus carefully tilted your head to the side before leaning down to kiss your neck. He ran his full lips across your ivory skin breathing as he went. Regulus’ eyes closed as he breathed you in. Your gardenia perfume filled his senses leaving Regulus a turned-on mess of emotions.

You meanwhile, didn’t move as Regulus snuggled his face into your neck.

“I’m sorry and I love you too.”

Regulus pulled away, leaving you wanting to whine. He quickly stepped behind you and pulled your body against his from behind. His face was snuggled back into your neck as he rocked his hips into you. His erection was digging into your ass.

“It's been a long time.”

You said almost breathlessly. Regulus nodded before taking your hand and guiding it toward the now prominent bulge in his dress pants. You wrapped your hands around his length and tightened your grasp. Regulus groaned quietly. He wasn’t about to admit that he could have come just from the bit of attention.

“Too long.”

Regulus finally choked out. He continued to let you caress and stroke him through his pants until Regulus slowly took your hand away to press back against you. Regulus gently pulled your robe off. He muttered a curse under his breath upon the realization that you were only dressed in your bra and knickers. The white silk dainty fabric was dying to be torn from your body.

“You’re so perfect, princess.”

Regulus cooed before moving his hand under the material of the bra. His hand slithered up your skin until he was able to wrap fully around your breast. Regulus’ fingers caressed your delicate skin before gripping tightly. He squeezed over and over until your nipple became hard under his touch.

“Reggie…”

You whined his name until Regulus let you turn in his arms for a kiss. The kiss quickly escalated as Regulus teased your bottom lip with a playful nibble.

“Wait. Before we get too carried away.”

Regulus said before reaching into his pocket and took out your engagement ring.

“Would you please consider being my wife again?”

You were thrilled as Regulus slid the ring back onto your finger.

“I’ll change…”

He added.

“I’ll stay home more...give you my undivided attention…”

You knew that was a lie even if Regulus meant it. When the dark lord called, he would have to go (and you knew it). Regulus could promise all that he wanted to be with you constantly but wouldn’t be able to. The past three weeks had taught you that having Regulus in your life with absences would be better than not at all. Walburga’s motherly advice of being a comforting place for your husband to escape to made even more sense to you now. Regulus would need you and your loving support. When Regulus was home, you could make all of the bad things that were happening with the war seem better.

“Regulus, don’t make promises that you can’t keep.”

Regulus pulled you into another soft kiss.

“I won’t forget about you again.”

He whispered. You were pleased enough with Regulus’ response.

“You look exhausted.”

You said before reaching up to stroke Regulus’ messy curls. Regulus shrugged.

“I haven’t had my soulmate in three fucking weeks. Nothing compares to you, sweetheart.”

You batted your eyes at Regulus before slowly unbuttoning each of his dress shirt's buttons before moving to his belt. Regulus smirked.

“On your knees.”

His soft tone hardened a bit. You quickly did as you were told and tugged his trousers down his slender hips. Regulus groaned the moment that you took him into your mouth. You fought a smile as you sucked each inch of his length into your mouth. Regulus wrapped a hand through your hair forcing himself deeper down your throat.

“Love, your one hell of a tease. Get on the bed.”

You quickly did as you were told as Regulus ran his hand over his length a few times. For the first time in three weeks, it felt good to touch himself. Sinking to his knees Regulus spread your legs to press open-mouthed kisses to your panty clad core. You gasped as his tongue began to soak your already wet panties with each lick.

Regulus snapped your knickers with one tug. The moment that the cold air hit your now overstimulated clit. Regulus didn’t give you a moment to adjust before his mouth was back on your mound. His tongue slid through your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth.

“Regulus, stop your teasing.”

Dark eyes rolled to your face before smiling evilly. Regulus quickly sat upon his knees.

“You’re right. No more teasing. I’m about to make that little twat feel amazing.”

You were thrilled that Regulus knew how to make you come by words alone. There was also the knowledge that only you knew that Regulus actually talked like this.

“Prove it.”

You said, blowing him a kiss. Regulus waited all of two seconds before yanking you to him by your hips. His cock shoved in mercilessly. Both of you moaned at the sudden intrusion. Regulus set a steady rhythm as shook his head to get his long hair out of his face. He bit his lips as he watched your tits bounce with each thrust.

“On top of me.”

Regulus growled before pulling out and leaving you almost crying. You quickly climbed on top of Regulus and sank back down onto his cock. Looking down at your lover’s athletic body heaving below you was enough to make your body tighten around him.

“Princess, that isn’t fair.”

Regulus groaned, pressing his head back into the pillow. He could barely keep one eye open to watch you bounce on his cock.

“I need to come, Reggie.”

You whimpered. His deep penetration had made you come hard and slowly. Regulus grinned as he got to enjoy every bit of movement inside as you squeezed on him.

“Two can play at that game.”

Regulus clenched his eyes closed as he let himself come. You sighed feeling his warmth push into your still soaking core.

“That lasted a whole five minutes.”

Regulus moaned before pulling your down into his arms. You didn’t move off of his body instead, you snuggled against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat of lulling you into a peaceful sleep. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled the duvet over your nude bodies.

“We can always go again.”

You suggested with a yawn. Regulus chuckled and stroked his fingers through your hair and over your cheek.

“I think my princess is tired.”

You shook your head as Regulus rolled you off of him. He manhandled you onto your side before pressing against you from behind. Regulus knew how much that you liked being the little spoon and this was a sure-fire way to get you to sleep. He was thankful that it would be Christmas time soon and that would give you plenty of time to be alone. Regulus would tell his mother to not bother the two of you. This time Walburga would listen to him. Regulus would be, after all, repairing his relationship with the woman that Walburga was so desperate to have as a daughter-in-law.

“Maybe.”

You said, pulling Regulus’ hand to your neck to hold onto him.

“Druella said that they are having a funeral in a few days. Will you come with me?”

Regulus didn’t have to think twice.

“I won’t let you go alone. We can go show mum that we are happy again so she won’t send me a howler again.”

You yawned.

“No more howlers.”

______

@fairywriter-oracle

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#regulus black #regulus black x reader #timothee chalamet as regulus black #evan rosier #marauders au #walburga black #orion black #sirius black #regulus arcturus black #regulus x reader #the rosier family #death eater regulus #druella black #the ancient and noble house of black #slytherin reader #smut series #Princess #Princess update

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winterwolf0916 · 4 years ago

Text

𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗿

Jason Todd x Tamaran! Reader

Requested by anon: Hiya! I love your blog so much, and I just was wondering, if you're taking requests right now, could I request some Jason Todd x a Tamaranean reader? Like maybe she stowed away to earth when Kory made a trip to Tamaran and she's really cute and sweet and enthusiastic and fun and she had no family back home so Kory's like yeah alright you can be my sidekick and she has to get used to life on earth and meets Jason as Robin and they become friends to lovers to oh no he fuckin dead to lovers again?

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Language, Mentions of Death, Slow Burn & oh! did I mention fluff?

A/n: My heart... Also, I pray and hope you enjoy this one, love. This took me a while to finish but I got it done and I got carried away it. I wont lie, my writing isn’t the best but I hope this is something you what wanted or close to it.

Word Count: 3K

Kori loves your company

You were like the little sister she never had

A better sister than Blackfire of course

When she brought you to earth you were so amazed at everything

It looks so lively and green.

Flying around and feeling the cool waters from the ocean, the beautiful smell of the flowers and pines from the trees, and the shiny reflection on the buildings.

As Kori was going to take a visit to the cave to see Dick for a mission, she brought you along for an introduction.

He looked scary once you were brought inside.

“Kori! So nice to see you again. Oh, who’s this?” Dick glanced at your direction as you hid behind her like a scared kitten.

“Ah, this is Y/n L/n. A Tamaranean like me.”

“Hello y/n. I’m Nightwing.” You were mostly afraid of the masks because you haven’t seen anyone like him with that sort.

Dick noticed your fear then he took it off, causing you to relax a little, and shook your hand. “It’s so nice to have you on Earth.” You only nodded your head with a small smile. But there was a large slam of a door and stomping onto the stairs.

“Son of a bitch! Son a crusty no good bitch!”

“Jason. We have guests.” This… ‘Jason’ took a glance at their direction before giving a frown. Once again, you hid your figure behind Kori’s, scared onto the boy

Dick apologized to the two of you and went off to lecture his younger brother.

Kori only sighed and notified you that this was normal of him before Dick came back.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just having another rough day with our dad. Jason please come greet them!” He rounded a corner with his mask on and his suit with an imprinted R.

“Robin. Pleased to meet you.” He sounded so irritated that he wanted this introduction to be over with.

Still in uneasiness with the mask, Dick quickly nudged his younger brother urging him to take it off.

Jason didn’t.

He just walked past you guys and left the cave on his motorbike.

Oh how much ass whopping he’s gonna get from Dick.

The second encounter happened at the Titans tower.

You finally learned how to control your powers and perform such combat ability that you never knew you could do.

Dick and Kori were like parents in the Tower.

You really loved the Titans

Raven may be dark but you both have such a strong friendship due to your trauma back in Tamaran and hers with her father

You suffered from a torturous experiment that left you with very similar yet slightly different powers than Kori.

Also you both love books

Garth always makes you laugh.

When training he turns into a gorilla to lift a good 3000 pounds while you could lift a good 70 tons making him go EEK!

He would make very disappointing puns but it always amuses you while everyone cringes at the dinner table.

Cyborg is like an older brother to you.

You would sometimes help him with the mechanics and lift heavy parts around while he rants about his day and he would also cheer for you when you’re sparring

They were the closest friends while the rest of the members adore you and your sweet personality

But when Jason came along with Dick for a small mission for a few weeks, you immediately locked yourself in your room.

The Titans were concerned

You were so marvelous and bubbly to all guests. Even to the infamous Batman!

Did the small bastard do something to make you like this?

Planning murder

But Dick and Kori knew why

After a lecture with the boy, Jason came by your dorm at night, still in uniform, knocking on your door, you didn’t open up, only listened from the inside

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t sincere really. “I know we started off on the wrong foot, um…” his hand went through his hair in frustration that he needed to do this. “Since we're working together, we’re going to need to become trusting of one another….I’ll...see you tomorrow I guess.” That was awkward of him.

As footsteps faded down the hallway, you started to give a small smile.

You start to warm up to him.

But when he starts doing the little things, the two of you grew a bond.

By little things, I mean correcting your moves when sparring, telling you stories of his previous missions, listening to you, exposing embarrassing stories about Dick, bringing you your favorite meals in a large amount because you’re a big eater, and lots of others.

When you first saw him without his mask, you were floating above him, pulling his face closer to yours while admiring the beautiful color of his eyes.

“Your eyes are the most gorgeous color I’ve seen here on Earth.”

Oh how your face fell when he had to leave.

Don’t get me started with Jason, he began to be more hostile when sparring with others

There was a time when he took out his feelings on a sand bag while Garth and Cyborg were questioning what that bag ever did to him.

Of course the ‘parents’ took notice of this and Dick would purposely bring you to the cave or Jason to the tower.

The two of you have such a friendship that you would sometimes prank one another yet enjoy each other's silence.

Carnivals or nights out in the city were always a blast.

Whenever the two of you would see each other, you would fly to him in a swift manner that he would sometimes stumble back to regain balance from the impact.

Soon, a single touch from him exchanging a book to you, caused you to feel such an electric current.

His smile and laughter made your heart paced faster than the speed of light

His cocky attitude and sweet side made your nine stomachs filled with butterflies.

You panicked and told Kori about it while she was sitting on her couch smiling as you explained.

“You like him y/n.” “Well of course! He’s my friend isn’t he?” “Oh dear, you’ll need to sit down for this.”

Wait, there is a different emotion called attraction?

AND IT DOESN’T STOP?

The more time you’ve spent with Jason, the more your ‘attraction’ feels stronger.

You would sometimes daydream the two of you blossoming into a relationship like Dick and Kori.

“Did you hear that Kori and Dick broke up again?” Raven stated before taking a sip of her tea. “What is this, ‘breaking up’ ?” you asked with curiosity yet wonder about this new term

When Raven sighed and gave details about it, you were 100x more terrified about the idea of a relationship

What if you and Jason will experience the same if you both ever become a couple?

You tried to distract the feeling of disheartenment with your enthusiasm

But of course, the feeling always returns

Your legs were pressed to your chest as you gaze at the ocean and it’s crystal shimmers of the moonlight, still in thought about your feelings. Jason found you on the rooftop of the tower since he figured something was wrong for the past week

As he questioned it, you asked, “Jason have you ever liked a girl that is a friend?” His foot on the edge of the building nearly slipped once you asked.

“I mean...yeah, there are times when I really liked her.”

“Do you still have feelings for one?”

“Very.”

“Really!? Who?” You were excited but felt such pain in your heart.

This boy choked onto her request. But he spoke, spoke about this ‘mystery’ girl. How adorable she is and brightening everyone’s day when it has been horrid, including his own. How he admires her caring behavior whenever someone was hurt. He really likes her and would like to take her out one day.

“Her name is Y/n.”

“What a wonderful name she has.”

“You do know I was talking about you, right?”

“Yes yes, she does have- wait what?”

Dreamy sigh

Ah yes

Young love

Kori wasn’t all surprised as she and Dick saw the two of you were walking in the streets of the city, hand in hand. She was delighted.

Dick was thrilled to see the two together yet gave Jason, the talk, if he ever does something stupid to you

The Titans congratulated the two and some exchanged money with one another after losing a bet

After a couple of months, Jason had to leave for a classified mission that’ll last a couple of weeks.

As he said his goodbyes, you gave a kiss to his cheek before rushing back inside and leaving him smiling to himself.

It was lonely for the past couple of weeks but the worst part was when it turned to a few months.

Dick headed to Gotham four weeks after Jason left.

You were frightened about your boyfriend’s well being

As Dick returns to the tower, he doesn’t look the same.

You thought he was acting in such a behavior to surprise you that Jason is back.

“Y/n...we need to talk.”

“Ok?” Kori gave a concerned glance at Dick’s direction, clearly unsure of how you’ll take the announcements. “What? Why are you both so silent? Please tell me.” You have had such a glowing smile, ready to hear it. The prank.

“Look, I know you and Jason are in a relationship but I have some...news.”

“I’m listening.” Your foot tapped in excitement while Dick grew uneasy.

“Four...four weeks ago, we located Jason in an abandoned warehouse. He was held captive there for God knows how long by the Joker. And, as Bruce headed to rescue him…” you wanted to laugh at how far Dick was taking this.

Except, he wasn’t pretending

“...He was too late. The warehouse exploded and my... Jason...passed away. I’m so sorry Y/n.” He added. You clapped your hands and giggled

“Amazing job! Brava! What an incredible and creative prank Dick. Very impressive. Now where is he so I can finally owe him a real kiss.”

The adults were silent. You took their silence as part of the prank and rushed to the bottom of the tower to find him.

But he wasn’t there.

“Ok I checked the 50 floors below us but don’t worry, I bet he’s on the roof. He’s always there.” You returned to the room where Kori and Dick sat you in.

“This isn’t made up.” Raven and a few others entered the room, you could see it in their eyes they weren’t faking but you still denied it. “He passed away y/n.”

“No he didn't...He isn’t...Jason! You can come out now! Jason?” You flew to the roof.

As you searched and it was empty that was when your stomach dropped.

“Jason!” You flew around the area. The more you searched, the heavier your heart became. As you landed on the roof and heard the doors open, you glided to Dick. “Where is he?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No…no no... this is a game, right? When I check the floors again he’ll be there, right?... Dick?” He pulled your hand and placed something on your palm.

“He’s gone Y/n. I’m so...so sorry.” Glancing to the object placed on your palm, your entire being froze at the sight.

From what you’re told, the R emblem is one of the only parts that are the easiest to clean and the least damaged on Jason’s suit after all of his missions.

What Dick gave you was the exact emblem but it was badly dented, burnt marks covered the R, scratch marks on the front and back while most of the edges are chipped.

Your legs gave weight as you fell to the floor, holding his badge close to your chest, and screamed your lungs out. Your vocals were so powerful that they made half of the windows on the Tower shatter. Tears made their way down from your cheeks to the floor as your eyes turned in a y/f/c glow.

You flew off, for time alone to grieve it all. When Kori found you, you broke down even harder in her arms

You weren’t going to turn to revenge.

Even though you saw it in Dick and a few others, you couldn’t.

Kori taught you revenge isn’t the answer along with the new Robin or better known as Tim drake

You weren’t happy Jason was replaced but continued with your bright personality.

But during the nights, you felt so empty and numb.

Why

Out of all people, why did Jason leave you

Your family and friends died due to the violence of the leaders that experimented on you.

But now the person you loved most?

More pain was placed on your shoulders.

You grieved and mourned whenever you’re alone or with Kori.

Two months later, you decided to explore the world on your own.

Saving Earth, countries, and other planets from danger.

Yet discovering the beauty onto nearly every destination

This continued for four years before you were called to Gotham for a meeting.

You greeted the Titans, other heroes you’ve met during your travels, and the bat family before the meeting starts

When it was over, you felt someone’s eyes on you.

As you located the orbs burning on your figure, you found a man with extreme built, a red helmet covering his entire head, a scarlet colored bat emblem imprinted on his black suit, and a coffee leather jacket.

You were confused as to why his eyes were wide and his body leaned forward as if he had found gold.

“Kori, why is he staring over here? Do I have something in my hair?” As your beloved best friend glanced at the man you were referring to, she let out a pearly smile.

“I think he likes you.” She snickered as you rolled your eyes.

In the past, some of your friends tried to set you up with many men. Key word: tried. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it just didn’t feel right. You did try to fall for them but it just doesn’t last.

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking. He’s looking at you like, in slang terms, a ‘snack’.” You chuckled at her before returning your gaze to the mystery man. But the color of his helmet was not present to your sight, instead, the sight of an exit door closing.

You saw him once again during a mission on a tropical island.

Someone was making hybrids based on DNA from different heroes around the world.

So here you were…

Approaching the scene as the infamous Red Hood was getting choked by a 9 foot tall creature before you scared it off with a blast of your powers.

“Need a hand, big boy?” You reached out your arm, waiting for him to take it. He was hesitant.

“...Sure.” He took it and you couldn’t help but feel slightly surprised of how tall he was

As you found Kori and gave her a hug, you joined the team till the mission finished.

You really loved being in the group.

But mostly enjoyed the company of Red Hood.

There was something about him that made you smile warmly as he progressed with his idiotic plan

Kori and Roy offered for you to be an Outlaw and you gladly accepted

But the third member wasn’t all too happy about it.

The four of you all reserved an Overwater Bungalow resort on the island

A week later, you heard arguing from Kori’s home while you and Roy brought food.

“I don’t understand you, why won’t you tell her already?” Her voice muffled by the walls of the hut.

“She’s not ready.” His voice in the room as well

“Y/n has been far too ready to know who you really are.” You haven’t heard Kori this angry in ages and what did they mean about you knowing?

“You don’t understand.”

“Oh I understand plenty,” You and the red head’s eyes widen at her sass. “How long can you keep this act up? This, I want to hide this because I want to protect her, act? Your brother used that on me a few times, hmph, always knows when to make a woman angry.”

Brother? But the only brother you know she dated was-

“Don’t compare me to Dick, Kori.”

Oh...Shit…

Roy put two and two together and oh shit! He remembered his best friend mentioning a girl before his sudden death. Roy glanced at you as your eyes were wide and glossy at the truth. He kicked the door open causing the two heads to turn while you were hidden outside of the hut with your head down.

How could you not notice it before… Red Hood not revealing himself under the helmet when he was in legit trunks, constantly putting distance between the two of you, displeased when you joined the outlaws, and the worried glances between him and Kori!

“Got the food!” As Roy set the meals down and you entered the room, the air was so intense you could cut it with a knife.

“I’m not that hungry so I’m going to my room.” Kori glared at the helmet man, causing him to release a sigh.

“Do you-”

“Perfect! Now take these,” Roy gave a bag of two take outs to him and led the unresolved pair outside. “Have a good night.” He shut the door closed leaving you and the vigilante in silence.

“I can take the bag.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

It was so awkward the walk back to your huts.

He tries to make the situation lighter but it was no use.

All of that pain you felt years ago, returned and after realizing who he is...It felt so much worse.

“Hey y/n, do you want to know the story of my first kiss?” What is he trying to do now?

“That's pretty sweet! Random but sweet! Go on.” He paused in place under a shadow of a hut as a thick cloud covered the sun. His hand traveled to the back of his helmet and a sudden click was heard before steam escaped from the open cracks of his mask. It was dark and you couldn’t see his full features.

“It was a normal day, I was carrying some groceries with my butler but got lost in the crowd due to my sleep deprivation. And the craziest thing happened when I was struggling to find him, a cute y/h/c girl with bright y/e/c eyes came up to me and spoke a language I’ve never heard in my life. So I tried to understand her words but I was so clueless before she pulled my face and gave me a smooch.” Your stomach did a flip as you realized why the story was so familiar to you. “She apologized when she was done but spoke english. As she left me there completely bamboozled… I wondered, ‘I don’t know what the hell that was about but will I see her again?’ then my butler found me.”

It's a memory. Your memory and his. You dropped the bag.

“Jason.” As the darkness unsheathed and the sun’s light was visible, he took a couple of steps towards you and gosh… You didn’t realize how much you missed him when your eyes began to sting, shoulders dropped, and your bottom lip shaking.

You took flight and bolted in his arms.

“It’s you… it's really...you asshole.” you shoved him lightly while Jason expected the worst. “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole!” Every curse is a light punch on his chest.

“Easy...Easy!” He held your two hands by the wrists. “When did you learn how to curse?!”

“When you were dead!” Your eyes were covered by your signature y/f/c glow and tears streamed down your face.

“Calm down.”

“Calm down? I may be an alien and I may be nice, but I have feelings too. Feelings when we shared that first kiss, held hands, waiting for you to come back...hearing that awful news about you…” Your arms dropped and your head lowered. “And I’m feeling angry at you right now for not saying anything!”

In all honesty, he really wanted to tell you. But he didn’t know how you would take it. He's not the exactly the same when he was a teenager and he’s been through so much as Red Hood that he doesn’t want the bad guys to target you and your superhuman abilities. But his feelings for you didn’t shrink a single centimeter. It grew. Grew that he was so close to return to you and kiss you like there is no tomorrow.

“Didn’t...Haven’t you felt the same of how I felt for you, Jason? Did you hate me that much to leave me and start a new life? To get away from me?” You questioned as the glow in your eyes dimmed down to your y/c/e orbs but your water works didn’t stop. You were still shaking, thinking of how Jason never loved you. How he made you feel pain for years.

He made you feel like a human. Being an alien on Earth was quite lonely. But Kori was there with you through it all. But when Jason, a human, made you feel like you’re a human… You didn’t care about the negativity as much, you focused onto the positives. You discovered things about yourself from a different perspective. You learned how to love.

A warm embrace and the sun falling behind the horizon made your entire being warmer than the heat of the light beams. Your fingers trailed under his jacket to feel his body heat.

“Not even close.” He pulled a little before resting his forehead on yours. “It was the opposite and more. I just didn’t want you to see me in my dark life. I died and came back from the dead, every minute feeling empty. But once I learned more about myself, I wanted to change for the better. But I made so many rough decisions, that I couldn’t come back to you yet until I fixed them. I didn’t want you to love a mistake.”

“Shhh.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, running your fingers through his hair. “You’re never a mistake, only a good man who tried his best. The only thing that matters now, is that you’re here.” His teal orbs flickered to yours, your heart skipping a beat by the sight of your favorite colored eyes once again.

The sun was engulfed, the light dimmed till the sky was navy, and the stars were sprinkled all around the two silhouettes under the moon. The lock of your lips to his were the answer to your reunion.

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asimpforarmin · 4 years ago

Text

What’s Done is Done 💛

Content: Armin Arlert x Reader, Modern AU, italicized means flashback, bold is just something used to quote from a flashback.

Summary: After not talking to Armin for 2 years, you finally reconnect. Then, after a little bonding, he comes over and comforts you when you lose your job.

WC: 5,196

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.

Warnings: Financial struggle, alcohol and mentions of alcoholism, a little arguing, and probable grammatical errors. Let me know if I missed any!

A/n: Everyone in the story is above drinking age. Yes, I did listen to Nobody by Mitski slowed down with reverb while making this, thanks for asking. This is really just a vent fic for me, I’ve just been daydreaming for hours about how I just want to be held and comforted by Armin. This isn’t what’s happening to me irl, but I just felt like I needed a simple explanation for the fic so yea.

“Armin! Are you okay?! Where’d they get you?” you exclaimed, looking over Armin. He’d been beaten up by one of those punks who bullied him. You slung his arm around your shoulders, helping him stand up.

“I’m fine!” he says loudly, brushing you off and sitting back down.

“Hey, Armin, what’s wrong?” you ask in a softer tone. You bend down next to him. He’s sitting with his knees clutched against his chest, head down.

He looks up at you, tears in his eyes. “I’m nothing but a burden to you. You, Eren, and Mikasa are always having to come to my rescue.”

“Armin,” you take him into your arms, holding him tight, “It’s not an inconvenience to us. We’re happy to make sure you’re safe.” He wraps his arms around your torso, head resting on your shoulder.

He sniffles, “I’m sorry.”

You pull him closer and rub your hand along his back, “I’m glad to be here. There’s nothing I want more than for you to feel better.”

~~~~~

Armin was everything you wanted to be. He was smart, he had a good job even when attending college, and was able to support himself. You were just you, someone stuck in a never-ending dead end job with bad pay and no special degree to help you out. You were barely scraping by while he was fully capable of doing anything he wanted with his life. Not to mention he had a huge network of friends.

So there you sat, alone in your apartment with the lights off and the windows open, blowing the curtains around slightly. The only thing illuminating the room being the small blue screen of your tv and the ambient nighttime lights of the city outside.

You sat up on the couch, looking at your phone. You went onto twitter only to see Armin and all his friends out doing something at a bar far away from you. You were never really close to many of his friends. You met Eren first, then, he introduced you to Armin. You and Armin hit it off pretty well and you got attached to him. He became your closest friend.

By the time you reached middle school, you and Armin were inseparable. He would obviously spend time with other friends, but he always made time for just you and him.

By highschool, it was clear to everyone around that you two liked each other. You two would blush whenever the other was near, would sit super close, share food, it was almost like you were a couple without admitting to it.

When highschool ended, Armin was so excited to show you his acceptance letter into the college he would be attending. You were hyped up too, until you noticed it was in another state. You were still happy for him, but it would just mean you wouldn’t be able to see each other as often.

You managed to find an apartment only an hour away from him. It wasn’t anything nice, but it was in your budget, and was closer to his college than your last home. In the beginning, you two would video call a lot, especially after classes. You did almost every day. Then, that turned into every week, every two weeks, every month, then you both just stopped around the one year mark.

He had changed too, not in a bad way though. He had cut his hair, got new friends, and was a lot more social. He still had his old nerdy interests, but he wasn’t the same.

Meanwhile, you desperately tried to get into any college or higher education you could, not even living at this point, just trying to survive. You had two jobs, a cashier in a gas station and a barista at a quaint little coffee shop, but you were still struggling.

You couldn’t get enough money to leave and go to a cheaper place to live. So you slaved away, trying your best to make a decent sum every week.

You wanted to see your best friend again so badly, but you just didn’t know how to reach out. He would give you the motivation you needed to keep going, to try to do something with your life by just being there. The thing is, you’ve drifted so far apart that you were clueless on how to ask without being weird or needy.

You set your glass of ice water on the coffee table in front of you. You looked at it for a moment, thinking of what it could be instead. You were only dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, but you threw on a hoodie and a pair of sandals. You grabbed your keys and phone, you were going out, to a random bar nearby to be exact.

So what if it wasn’t healthy? It’s not like you did it every night, and it wouldn’t drain you for too long. You went down to ground floor and started walking. You didn’t own a car, and even if you did, you probably wouldn’t be able to drive it back.

You walked for a little bit, reaching the building. You went inside and sat at the bar. It wasn’t a huge place, but it wasn’t tiny either. It was quiet though. The only sounds were random people hanging out in the corner, jazz playing over the speakers, and the other lonely people drowning in their sorrows who had it worse than you.

You ordered a drink and looked at your reflection in the glass. You looked like and felt like an utter mess. You didn’t know what you were doing anymore. You took a sip.

The sound of everything else happening was a cruel reminder that life goes on even when you’re at your lowest. The people going in and out of the bar will never know what you’re going through. Time doesn’t care about how you feel and it ever will. But you can try to slow it down a bit with another drink.

As soon as the bartender gives it to you, you see an arm to the left of you. “What’s cookin’ good-lookin?” a man says. You can tell he’s tipsy.

You look up at him and see a familiar face. “Jean?” you inquire, unsure if you’re mistaken. He was one of Armin’s friends he met in university. You never met him, but Armin talked to you about him when you used to call and makes a lot of appearances on his twitter.

He gulps, not knowing who you are. “Yeah actually, who’s asking?”

“I’m- I used to be Armin’s friend,” you say as you stick your hand out. He shakes it. “My name’s Y/n.”

“Oh I see.” He leans on the bar and orders a shot. “Y’know I always wondered who you were. Armin used to never shut up about you. Now, it’s almost like he’s forgotten about you.”

Even though he’s drunkenly blunt, those words still hurt. That just goes to show he’s moved on from you. You look back into your glass, wondering if you should just down it and get out of here.

Then you hear giggles and look over. You see Sasha laughing at Connie punching the air, clearly snockered. You’ve talked to both of them before, but not too much.

You decide you won’t down your drink, instead sliding it over to Jean and paying.

You stand up, wanting to go home before the alcohol kicks in too much. You had an alright tolerance but you wanted to make sure you made it home first. Plus, what were they doing so far out here? Surely they were barhopping. The others would come in soon anyways.

You hear a drunk Jean whine as you walk away, falling off the barstool. You push open the doors, only to be met with those blue eyes you haven’t seen in person in for over a year and a half. They widen looking at you.

“Y/n?” he asks, more shocked than you. You realize Eren and Mikasa are there too.

“Hi,” you say quietly, pulling up your hood and pushing through them.

“W-Wait-“ he’s cut off by Eren dragging him into the bar.

You start sulking back towards your apartment. You feel defeated. Even though he barely said anything to you, that made you start thinking about all the conversations you had when you were younger.

You get halfway down the block and realize you forgot your stupid keys. You quickly turn around, not wanting anyone else to take them. As you look back, you see Armin a few yards away from you. He sticks his hand out, giving you your keys.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it sure has.” You walk up and snatch the keys out of his hand, not in the mood for a conversation with him. You weren’t mad at him, rather with yourself for not knowing how to talk to him.

You turn away and start walking again, when he says, “I’m sorry Y/n.” You stop dead in your tracks, glaring back at him.

“Of course you are, even after two years of not talking to me,” you raise your voice. Why were you saying this? This wasn’t like you. It wasn’t his fault either.

Armin looks down and grabs his wrist, keeping his arms together. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say again. “I knew I should have said something, I just didn’t know how.” You heard how his voice broke slightly, but you couldn’t see his face. “You were always there for me and I just brushed you off.”

~~~~~

Armin rushed to his math class. He knew he was going to be late but only by a few minutes if he was quick. You were also running late, going to the class down the hall from him. Armin opened the door.

“You’re late, Arlert,” the teacher replied immediately.

“Sorry sir, I-“ Armin was cut off by you speaking.

“He was helping me get my locker unjammed sir,” you say, lying, but covering for him.

The teacher nods, “Sit down, I’ll let this one slide.” Armin smiles at you and you give him a thumbs up before continuing to your classes.

~~~~~

You stand there, not sure of what to say.

“I took you for granted,” he continues. You wanted to yell at him, but it wasn’t his fault. You didn’t blame him. These things happen, that’s just how life goes.

He looked up at you, he was crying. Not too much, but his cheeks were red and they had tears running down them. Your eyes started to water just at the sight of this.

Before he could speak anymore, you walked closer to him. You reached your hand up to cup his cheek. “Don’t sweat it,” you say shakily.

Neither of you knew what to say, but if one of you didn’t say something, it was just going to go back to how it was before.

You’re the one to crack first. You wrap your arms around his waist, head in the crook of his neck. “I’ve missed you so much,” you say, crying into his neck.

“I-I’ve missed you too,” he admits. And just like that, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders. He wraps his arms around you and lightly cries onto your shoulder.

It’s been a long time since you’ve spoken to each other, let alone touched each other. “I’m sorry.”

You pull back from him a bit, “Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” you smile up at him.

He lets you go, wiping his tears away, while you do the same.

“I-I should get back home,” you say, hoping he’ll propose something to make the night flip around. But he doesn’t.

“Yeah, I should get back too. Oh uh, do you want my new number?”

You perk up immediately to his suggestion. “Yeah! Of course!” You take your phone out, giving it to him. Once he types his number in, you give him yours.

You both say your goodbyes and head in opposite directions.

~~~~~

Over the next couple of months, you and Armin start to get in touch again. You can’t visit each other that often because of how far apart you are, but you try to every other weekend. Every time you can see him though, it’s a pleasure. Going to bookstores or libraries to be bookworms together or just getting food, every moment was bliss.

Your feelings for him started to come back too. This time, you have a pretty good feeling he likes you back, but you weren’t completely sure, so you didn’t say anything.

You two started video calling again, this time at least a little bit every evening with little to no exception. You both adored each other and loved geeking out together about things.

But you still had to work. You didn’t bring up anything about your struggles to him, he probably didn’t want to hear and you don’t want to be a burden.

That is, until you got laid off from both of your jobs in the same week. It was the end of the week and the coffee shop you worked at had gone out of business and the gas station found someone to do your job for less money.

You came home that day and just dropped to the floor crying. You didn’t know what to do. You were stuck with no job after barely getting by and all you could do was just sob as it felt like the world crumbled around you. You were completely distraught.

“Shut up!” you hear your neighbor yell as he bangs on the wall separating your rooms. You choke back your cries and pick yourself up to just curl up in your bed, sobbing into a pillow.

You suddenly wake up to the sound of your phone ringing. You drag yourself out of bed and rummage through your bag. You find your phone, slide back into bed, pick up, and turn your camera off.

“Hey Y/n!” Armin exclaims. He sounds so happy to see you.

“Hey,” you try to sound fine, but your voice cracks and you sniffle a little.

Armin takes note of it, “Why’s your camera off?” he asks inquisitively.

“It’s nothing,” you reply, wanting him to just take over the conversation and tell you about his day.

“Are you okay Y/n?”

“Just ignore it, I just woke up.” He takes a minute to try to figure out how to respond. “Just uh- How was your day?” you ask quickly, trying to change the subject.

He cautiously talks to you about it, knowing something’s up. You put in some headphones so you can have him right in your ears and just lay on your bed.

He tells you about the quiz he had that day, how Eren got into a fight, how spring break started, and it starts to calm you down, just having someone talk so casually to you like you’re having a normal conversation.

“So, how was your day?” he asks you in return. That snaps you out of it, you start crying again. You mute your mic and try to get your composure back.

“Y/n? Oh, you’re muted? Are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong.” His voice was low and considerate, trying to help calm you down. “I don’t mind, if you want to talk about it, we can. If not that’s fine too.”

You unmute your mic, “I’m tired,” you say, voice breaking as you speak.

“Hey, that’s alright, tired of what?” he asks you.

“I don’t have a job anymore, and I’m barely getting by. I just want a steady income or a new opportunity,” you say, getting more and more unconsolable by the second.

Armin always has his ways though, “Hey, you’re going to be okay. What happened?”

You sniffle and take a deep breath. “Well this coffee shop I worked for went out of business and-“ you take a second to sniffle and cough, “I got fired from the gas station I worked at.”

“You were working two jobs?” He’s a little shocked, but doesn’t act like it. He doesn’t want to throw you off your train of thought. You nod like he can see you, then make a sound of affirmation.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he says. He sounds calm and collected, trying to just make you feel better. His voice is quiet and comforting.

“I-If it isn’t too much to ask, Armin, could you come over tomorrow? I just wanna hang out with you,” you say.

Armin takes a minute, thinking of what to say. “I can come over tonight if you want.”

You want him to, you really do, but you say, “It’s a long drive and it’s the middle of the night, Armin.”

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s the least I can do.” You try to convince him otherwise but he’s already hung up. You pull your legs to your chest and put your head down. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re not worth his time. He’s going to have to drive an hour just to get to where you are.

After a couple minutes, you hear your phone ringing again. It’s him. You pick up.

“Hey, I’m in the car now,” he said.

“Armin, I’m too far from you. You’ll have to drive 2 hours tonight, just to get back and forth.

“Then I’ll just stay the night with you.” You were a little shocked by him just saying that, but you welcomed it.

“I know you want to be here for me now, but you don’t have to drive an hour in the middle of the night just to comfort me.”

“Just an hour? So you’re agreeing I can stay over?” He was more lighthearted now, trying to cheer you up.

You sigh, say, “I guess” and lightly chuckle.

“It’ll be just like the sleepovers we had when we were younger.”

~~~~~

“Hold still!” you said, “You’re gonna make me mess up.” You were sitting criss cross with Armin on your bedroom floor, painting his nails a light blue color.

“Hey, you’re the reason you have that streak going halfway up your finger, you couldn’t hold still either.” You chuckled, looking down at your fingernails he just painted.

“Oh well, what’s done is done,” you say, putting the brush back in the bottle. “Tada!”

He looks down at his nails, then blows on them to try to get the polish to dry quicker. “They look great.” You look at him and smile, and he does too, but his smile soon fades into a frown.

“What’s wrong?” you say, putting the polish away and sitting next to him.

“People are gonna make fun of me because of this.”

“Hey, don’t think that way, if they do, I’ll beat ‘em up!” you smile, making a fist with your hand.

“Y/n, no,” he looks at you, trying to get you to back down.

“Okay fine, only if they hit you first.”

“You’re going to get yourself hurt,” he raises his voice.

Then you hear a voice from downstairs, “Go to bed kids!” You sigh, getting up and reaching your hand out for Armin.

“I’ll be okay.” He takes your hand, standing up. He goes over to his bag as you climb into your bed.

You yawn, “What do you have there?”

“A book and a flashlight. I hope you don’t mind. If you do I’ll just put them away.”

“No, it’s okay. What book?” He moves a little closer to you, showing you the cover with a smile on his face. He sits next to you and starts going on about the plot and all the characters, flipping through the pages showing you his favorite parts.

After a while he’s reading it to you, trying to keep quiet because he doesn’t want anyone to know you’re both still up. He’s getting to a part he’s quite passionate about when he looks at you. You’re half asleep under your blanket, trying to keep your eyes open.

He stops reading for a moment, “Sorry I’m boring you, I’ll go to sleep.” He goes to his makeshift bed, a pile of blankets with a ton of pillows underneath, and his sleeping bag on top. It’s just a few feet away from your bed.

You sit up a little, rubbing your eyes. “It’s not boring at all. It’s quite relaxing actually.” You wrap the blanket higher up on your body, before laying on your bed to look at him. “Tell me more,” you say.

He smiles. He turns the light off and his flashlight on, getting under the covers and flipping through his book to find the good part. He starts reading again, in a hushed voice. You cuddle up against your pillow, watching him.

He looks so absorbed in the world of that book. Reading you a chapter, occasionally pausing to tell you context since you haven’t read it. He’s smiling throughout it all.

You close your eyes, listening to him continue. Soon enough, you’re asleep. He falls asleep shortly after.

~~~~~

“Oh yeah, I remember those,” you say wiping your eyes and smiling. “You gonna paint my nails again?”

“Only if you let me read to you,” he says.

“Of course you can.” You two continue just making small talk for a while, until he pulls into a gas station.

“Well, I’m gonna hang up for now, okay?” he asks you.

“Okay,” you say, pulling your blanket closer to your body.

“I’ll be right over.”

“Alright,” you say. He’s about to hang up when you say, “Wait.” He stops what he’s doing and puts his phone back up to his ear. “I- I love you, Armin.”

He pauses for a moment. “I love you too, Y/n,” he says, before hanging up.

With a blush across your face, you stare up at your ceiling. He’s calmed you down so much by just talking to you over the phone. You get up, getting changed out of your work clothes. Not into anything fancy, but just a baggy t-shirt and a loose pair of pajama pants.

As you’re getting dressed, you’re thinking it over. Did he really mean what he said? Or if he did, did he mean it in a super friendly way? You don’t know how this is going to work out. On one hand, he could actually have feelings for you, or on the other you could have just made your whole relationship awkward.

“But what’s done is done,” you thought. There’s no going back now. You sat back down, waiting about 45 minutes. You wanted to cry but you felt too tired even for that.

You heard three loud knocks coming from your door.

“Y/n, it’s me,” you heard Armin say from outside. You get off your bed, go over to the door and unlock it. Armin’s standing there with a bag. “Hey,” he says, pulling you into a hug.

“I’ve missed you Armin,” you say. You don’t know why you said it, you were just talking to him.

“Well I’m here now,” he says, letting go of you. You step aside for him to come in. He goes to your coffee table and places the bag down. “While I was at the gas station, I picked you up some of these.” He takes out a plastic container filled with cookies, and a bottle of your favorite drink.

You walk closer picking up the drink, “You remembered.”

“Of course I did,” he says. He grabs your hand, “I never forgot about you.” That made you think back to what Jean had said to you at the bar. You put the drink back on the table and wrap your arms around Armin’s waist, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He puts his arms around your shoulders and holds you close. “It’s okay, Y/n, I’ll never leave again.”

He doesn’t end the hug, but once you’ve calmed down a little, he spaces you two apart so he can look at you. He says, “If you want we could pop a movie in, or I could paint your nails, or read to you, anything you want to do.”

“Could we just talk for a bit?” you ask, as he hangs his jacket over the side of the couch. You felt bad for dragging him out here if you were just going to watch a movie or something you could easily do by yourself. He nods and you bring him over to the couch.

You sit to the left of him and lean your head on his shoulder. “I don’t really know what I want to talk about, I think I’ve told you most of what’s happened.”

“That’s okay. So, what job do you think you’re gonna get after this?”

“I don’t know,” you say, looking down. “I don’t think I’ll find one easily.”

“I can help you find something in the morning if you want.”

“Sure.” You both stop talking for a minute.

“Do you have any other friends?” he asks.

“No, not really. I had some friends at the coffee shop I worked at, but now that’s gone out of business. I never really spent time with them either, they were just people I talked to.”

“If you want, I can introduce you to some of my friends. I know they’re far away, but if you’re not busy, we could meet halfway, maybe once a week.”

“Like at the bar?”

“Yeah, just a better place than that,” he says. You look up at him, and then down at his hand. You take it.

“Where do you want to go?” You look back up at him, waiting for a response. He blushes as you hold his hand, looking away.

“Well if it’s all of us, some of my friends will probably want to go to a club or something, but if that’s too much, we can just go get food or see a movie.”

“What if it’s just you and me?” He looks back at you, cheeks still flushed. “Do you want to go the library or something at some point?”

“Sure,” he says. You’re thinking for a moment. You’re holding hands with your best friend while your head is on his shoulder, after he drove an hour just to comfort you. You were gonna have to tell him at some point. He wouldn’t just confess to you.

You start to get tired, it was relaxing to be in this position. You yawn, getting the attention of Armin.

“You should go to bed.”

“I’m not that tired, plus you just got here.”

“That’s alright, I don’t mind. And I bet you are tired. You’ve been crying a lot today.” He brushes some hair out of your face, stands up, and takes both of your hands. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

You both part hands and you go to the bathroom for a moment to wash up. When you come out, Armin’s checking his phone with his jacket over his arm.

“Guess I’ll be on my way,” he says.

“Wait, I thought you were staying?” you ask confused. You wanted him to stay.

“Do you want me to? I kind of just said I was without asking you.”

You go closer to him, “Well I made you come all the way out here, so the least I can do is let you stay.”

“You didn’t make me, Y/n, I chose to come.” He puts his phone in his pocket.

“I don’t know, I just feel like I’m burdening you.”

“Y/n,” he takes both of your hands in his own, “There’s nothing I want more than for you to feel better.”

“God, you even remember that.” You look down, starting to feel your eyes water.

“Hey, don’t cry,” he says, wiping a tear from your cheek. You look back up at him, he’s concerned, but he’s smiling at you.

You let go of his hands and hug him. “I love you, Armin,” you say, “and I mean it.” He quickly puts his arms around you, while you let out a shaky breath. You continue, “I have since middle school, it’s not just from this.”

He puts his face in your neck, starting to tear up. “I have too,” he says with a quavering voice. You two stand there, overcome with emotion, holding each other. You pull back for a moment, cupping his face and brushing a tear off his cheek. “I love you, Y/n.”

You smile up at him, still while blubbering. You pull him back and you both rock each other for a moment.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” you say, leading him to your bed. He puts his jacket over your chair and his phone on your nightstand. Once he’s done, you already have your legs under the covers. You open your arms and he climbs in next to you. He hugs you, then you both lay on your sides, facing each other.

You reach for his cheek again, just holding it. “God, you look so handsome.”

“Thank you,” he says, grabbing a hold of your hand. “You look stunning.” You smile and let out a little chuckle.

“I love you,” you say again. God, you’d have never thought you’d be saying this to him, especially tonight.

“I love you too.” It was a short and simple phrase but it made your cheeks darken and you felt butterflies in your stomach. You lean a little bit forward, kissing him. You both close your eyes as he kisses back.

After a couple seconds, you both part. He pulls the blanket over you, wrapping you in it. “Goodnight,” he says, turning the light off.

“Goodnight.”

~~~~~

You open your eyes, to see that no one’s there. The other side of the bed is empty. You sit up a little, before smelling food cooking from the kitchen.

After around 15 minutes of just laying in bed, you get up and go see what’s cooking. Armin’s at your oven, pulling muffins out of it.

He turns around to see you, a smile on his face. “Good morning!” He starts putting some of the muffins on a cooling rack, “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” you say, sitting at the table.

“That’s good. I used some mix from your cupboard, I hope you don’t mind.” He takes some of the muffins and puts them on plates for the both of you.

“It’s fine,” you yawn and look down at the table. There’s a newspaper in front of you.

Armin comes over to the table and places one plate in front of the newspaper. “Look at the bottom.” You look down the newspaper and see an ad for some small shop that’s hiring. “Thought maybe you’d be interested.”

“Thanks,” you say as he sits down. “So, are we a thing now?” you ask shyly, looking up at him.

“Yea, if you’re interested.”

“Of course I am.”

“Well so am I,” he giggles.

You start reading into the newspaper a little more. What’s done is done, and you’re happy about it.

#tw alcohol #tw: alcohol #armin arlert x reader #armin x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #attack on titan fanfiction

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szivtalan · 3 years ago

Text

love is in the words unspoken

all these moments are golden,

forever is mine with you

the blossoming of the cherry trees always puts hawks in a strange mood. he thinks they’re romantic, magical - reminds him of a time when he was more naive, more dreamy, didn’t know much about the world. it’s nostalgic, to see the carpet of sakura petals on the streets, reminding him of what is and what could’ve been.

‘hawks!’

it’s ironic that he runs into endeavor’s child just as the flowers begin to fall.

‘hey, it’s todoroki.’ he grins, glancing at the two heroes behind the one already rushing up to him: deku and dynamight. ah yes, the three musketeers, as they call themselves. it’s nice to see the top three teaming up that way. ‘where’s the honorific though, kiddo? i’m still much older than you.’

‘not that much.’ shoto replies, and it feels like a shot to the heart. that’s right... they’re both in their twenties now. ‘and i figured i’d drop the honorifics now that i’m above you on the hero ranking list.’

the tilt of his head would be adorable if he weren’t such an asshole. tokoyami was right when he said that his youngest was different than endeavor - hawks only wished to see such a playful side of him.

‘the disrespect.’ hawks laughs, slapping shoto on the shoulder. he hits harder than what would be necessary, but the boy doesn’t even bat an eye. sturdy. and tall. holy shit, is he taller than hawks now? ‘anyway, i really don’t mind. are you guys patrolling around here?’

‘GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE HALF-AND-HALF, BEFORE I GO THERE AND BEAT IT!’ one youngster yells at them.

‘kacchan, don’t be so rude! he’s talking to hawks-san!’

‘friendly bunch.’ hawks snorts, and shoto just shakes his head with a smile.

‘they’re the best. i’m just trying to catch up.’ he admits, sounding sincere.

‘DON’T IGNORE ME, FUCKFACE!’

‘what are you doing around here anyway?’ shoto asks. ‘isn’t your office in a different city?’

‘yeah, i just came here to stretch my wings, take a walk.’ hawks says, ruffling his feathers a little for emphasis.

‘are you walking on your wings?’

‘n-no...?’

‘then how-’

‘WRAP IT UP NOW!’ at dynamight’s next shout, shoto visibly flinches. he seems more irritated than scared, at least to hawks.

‘i just wanted to thank you for helping my dad all those years ago.’ shoto says then, bowing his head a little. hawks takes it back, he doesn’t have an ounce of disrespect in his body. he’s just a little warped in the social area, and hawks has a fairly good guess where he gets that from. ‘i’ll be going now.’

‘wait, ah- how, how’s the old man?’ hawks tries to aim for anything but desperate. ‘i haven’t heard from him since the retirement.’

shoto looks at him thoughtfully, and those dual-colored eyes make hawks immeasurably nervous. he feels like he’s staring into his soul, opening up the secrets he’s got locked inside.

‘he’s well. i go home on weekends.’ shoto says, pulling up a notebook and a pen. ‘here’s the address. i think he’d appreciate the visit.’

the road to the todoroki estate was the most tiring one hawks had taken in a while. it’s not like it was far from where they met with shoto, but he spent the entire time worrying if he’s dressed well for the occasion, if he should just walk instead of flying to not get gross and sweaty - if endeavor will even let him in, or he’ll just pass by and get told off.

the house is huge, traditional, designed in classic enji taste. hawks could see the roof from a street away, almost walks into a lamppost while staring, his heart picking up the speed both from the scare and the nerves. his feet feel heavier with every step, walking down the street, finally getting to the gate-

and seeing todoroki enji, former number one hero, the feared endeavor sweep the walkway to his door, the scene way too casual to not send an already spring-up hawks into hysterics.

‘what the hell is that?’ hawks spits, laughter erupting from deep in his belly. the look on endeavor’s face just makes him shriek louder, his abs clenching with it. ‘is that- a fucking broom for ants, endeavor, you look so funny-’

‘can’t a man just do his chores in peace?!’ endeavor’s yelling now; sparks fly on his heated skin, and then they burst into flames.

‘now that’s the endeavor-san i know and love.’ he laughs, holding onto his own stomach, wiping his tears. endeavor’s face appears red under all that fire, he walks up to the gate to let him in.

‘what are you doing here, anyway?’ he mumbles, extinguishing himself as hawks walked in. he holds his broom under his armpit rather awkwardly, with the gracelessness of a man not quite used to doing the cleaning. hawks looks at him, observes: the slouch in his shoulders, the specks of grey in his stubble, the blush high on his cheek, the early wrinkles. he smiles to himself, reasons unknown, buried deep in a secluded part of his heart.

‘ran into your kid downtown, he said i should drop by and say hello.’ hawks lifts the nylon bags he’s been carrying, offers a lopsided grin. ‘i brought takeout.’

‘hmpft.’ endeavor is elaborate, as always. a man of few words and plenty actions, something hawks has always admired in him. ‘you can stay. only for the food.’

‘so you’re still very much hopeless in the kitchen, eh?’

‘don’t make me change my mind, brat!’

the house is huge on the inside, at least five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a big kitchen and dining room, and one living room all fit into one floor. all of it echoes from their steps, empty and lonely.

‘your boy said that he’s visiting you on weekend.’ hawks pries, shrugging his coat off as he hands over the bag. his fingers brush against endeavor’s fight-hardened, calloused ones and his heart feels like it could jump out of his chest again.

‘whenever he has the time. shoto’s a busy man.’ endeavor nods, his voice dripping with pride. hawks doesn’t need him to say any more to know how fond he is of his son. it makes him smile, actually. ‘why?’

‘and the rest of your family?’ he asks, a little more cautious.

‘i see rei and natsuo on holidays, and fuyumi usually spends her school breaks here.’ enji sets down the bag at the low table, grabs a pair of chopsticks from the dish rack. there are plates piled high there: it seems like he can clean up after himself, but refuses to put things away. hawks figures it’s pretty comfortable, considers that for a second before he realizes how much he can see into endeavor’s private life.

they sit down at the same time, and their eyes meet. ‘i’m not lonely.’ enji immediately turns defensive. there’s probably pity or sadness in hawks’ eyes, he wasn’t paying attention to his expression for a second.

‘i wasn’t suggesting you were.’

‘being alone is something i deserve. so i take my punishment with pride and strength.’ enji squares his shoulder, sitting up impossibly straight at his uncomfortable seat. he takes the boxes out, scatters them across the table for them to reach. no plates, though. ‘itadakimasu.’

they eat mostly in silence, warm, comfortable, and hawks can’t take his eyes off him. endeavor looks so casual, so approachable like this. he looks soft, in the slightly frayed sweatpants, a little weary from use, and the soft cotton shirt hugging his bulging muscles, stretching across his enormous shoulders. his face is a little thin, the wrinkles obvious on its unharmed half. from this close, hawks can see the grey hairs on his temple, too.

‘i’m looking for a place to stay.’ hawks announces once they’re finished eating. the look of surprise and something else - hope? no, it can’t be... - flashing across endeavor’s face startles him, but he’s not about to back down, now. ‘what-... ugh, how much do you think you’d rent out a room for?’

‘what?’ endeavor appears shell-shocked. ‘wh- why?’

‘well, because my apartment building is remodeling, and i’m pretty sick of living in the busier side of the city anyway. figured i’d change it up, move into the suburbs-’

‘that’s not what i’m asking.’ he snaps. ‘why me? don’t you have friends who’d let you stay with them?’

‘not anyone i’d like to move in with.’ hawks shrugs, playing with a few leftover grains of rice. ‘you know, i can cook, and i’m also willing to dry off and put away your damn dishes.’

‘hawks...’

‘c’mon, we can have sleepovers! i can braid your hair and you can braid mine. it will be fun!’

‘i can’t let you do that, hawks.’

‘okay, yes, i admit, your mane’s a little short for a proper french braid, but i can make do-’

‘hawks.’ enji’s voice booms. ‘no.’

‘you’ve known me for almost a decade, old man.’ hawks is talking back, suddenly fired up. ‘why won’t you just let me take care of you?’

‘because i’m a perfectly capable person who doesn’t need anyone to take care of them.’ he huffs, steam seeping from his nose. ‘and because i can’t let you do that to yourself.’

‘what, enji?’ he’s loud. is he shouting? he can’t tell.

‘waste your time on a bitter old man who isn’t worthy of you.’

now they’re pulling up the big guns. hawks deflates, props his head up on his elbows.

‘retired, but still on your self-deprecating bullshit.’ he sighs. ‘will you take it to the grave?’

‘hawks, i’m serious-’

‘and i’ve been serious, too. my entire life, about my feelings for you. you kept shaking me off, saying it wasn’t appropriate for someone your age dating someone so young, saying you were married, but all this time, i kept getting refused because you hate yourself too much to allow yourself to be loved?’

hawks doesn’t know when he stood up, but he’s falling to his knees beside enji now.

‘what kind of an asshole does that...?’ he whispers, staring right into enji’s fearful eyes.

‘an asshole who cares about you.’ enji murmurs, letting hawks hit him in the chest.

‘this isn’t “caring” about someone! this is just lying to yourself and keeping yourself from being happy!’ his fingers tangle in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

‘keigo-’ enji hisses, losing his balance and gripping the edge of the table so he doesn’t fall against the other man.

‘tell me no.’ hawks proposes, his free hand coming up to cradle his jaw, so prickly and manly and strong, the shudder that ripples through him from the gentle touch, making him so weak and vulnerable. ‘no more running away, enji, no more games. tell me no right now, and i won’t ever bother you again.’

endeavor furrows his brows, the skin around his scar pulling grotesquely over his face with the struggle. he takes a deep breath, and hawks gets goosebumps as the hot air from the exhale hits his skin.

‘i can’t...’ enji whispers, and hawks can barely hear over the sound of his heart shattering. he starts to let go, but he forgets to breathe and move altogether as enji leans in instead, hand coming up to hold him close by the back of his head. ‘i can’t say no, not anymore...’

the first touch of lips against his have his insides flutter, almost working him into a panicked frenzy. he can only hope that enji can’t feel his heart beating in his throat as he kisses him, deep and desperate and oh so careful. hawks clings into him, lets him chase him for a change, holds on for the ride.

when they separate, hawks feels dizzy, drunk with heat and pleasure. enji looks just about as much present, he seems dumbfounded.

‘well, uh.’ he says, and hawks would kick anyone who says he doesn’t have a way with words.

‘i can come on thursdays and fridays.’ he offers, for now. ‘that way your kids can still have you on weekends.’

‘thanks.’ that’s all endeavor says before he pushes a few stray strands of hair back from hawks’ face, leans in for another kiss.

it’s a date, then.

#bnha #endhawks #anime #enho #todoroki enji #takami keigo #todoroki shouto #vmine #fluff #future fic #oh look at me not respecting my art and writing in a tumblr post again #oh but well i worked on it all afternoon so enjoy?#tododekubaku #if u squint lol #bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku

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nctzendreamz · 4 years ago

Text

off the table — lee taeyong

genre: angst w/ hints of fluff.

warnings: language, mentions of drug abuse, and mental illness.

featuring: nct members + chan and felix from stray kids.

authors note: taeyong was perfect for this in my head. also, thank you ariana grande.

is love completely off the table?

will I ever love the same way again? will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?

it had been almost a year. almost a year since he had heard your laugh. you know, the one only he was capable of getting out of you. it was gentle, yet so vibrant that it could color even the most plain and unpleasant rooms. he had seen you do it a million times, but his favorite work of art of yours was the one you did on his heart.

obviously, he couldn’t see what the inside of him looked like. but he could feel it. before he met you, he was certain everything was pitch black. to be specific, the darkest shade of the night sky one could possible fathom. so much pain resided in him. some he brought to himself, some he did nothing to earn. regardless, it was there, and as anybody with demons did, he found coping methods.

that’s how he met you, actually. holed up a strip club he had no business being in. one, because there was no one here he truly wanted. he would never admit it outloud, but the thought of love warmed him. not much, but it did. more than silly one night stands that have soul ties no one wanted to keep.

you were clearly out of place in the building filled with the scent of marijuana and flashing lights, although it did perfectly consume your complexion in the most beautiful way. he observed you for what felt like hours, just admiring you. he had no idea he would want to do this for the rest of his life.

it didn’t take much liquid courage for him to approach you. he could sense your fear when his slender fingers touched your exposed shoulder. for some reason though, the minute your eyes locked it was as if you were looking at someone you had known for a million lifetimes. or maybe that was just Taeyong’s point of view. maybe, everything was all an illusion. meeting you. falling in love with you. you falling in love with him.

“it’s been awhile.” a voice snaps Taeyong out of his deep thinking. the minute his concentration breaks does his surroundings suddenly blast into the center of his cortex. the volume increases. he is in the real world again. he isn’t high, yet.

“yeah.” is all he can spit out. all of the different coversations he could hear take place all of a sudden was making him extremely frustrated and unable to form coherent thoughts. or maybe he wanted it that way so he wouldn’t have to think about you.

you loved coming here. he hated coming here. but he loved you, and your favorite thing to say to him was, “when you love someone, you do things you hate. just like me sitting and watching you smoke for hours without stopping.”

he never realized how much you hated his distractions.

the here, was a restaurant that resembled a sports bar back where you are from. the food was less Korean and more greasy chicken tenders. and you really admired their honey mustard. it was kind of ridiculous how much you loved this place. it was always crowded. the smell was odd - a mixture of people who can’t seem to do anything but drink beer and yell, and foreigners who hated living in Korea. this was the only taste of home they got, so they took advantage of it.

did you feel that way too?

he doesn’t know. and he doesn’t want to think about it. some soccer game was on. people were cheering. he was just waiting on his to-go order.

“how have you been?” the familiar woman asks behind the counter. she was definitely in her mid-50’s. he assumed. she always would be here when Taeyong was dragged along, and she was always nice. who wouldn’t be with all the money you gave to this place.

“i’ve been fine.”

taeyong feels a little cheery conversating with another human. if it wasn’t his dealer, there wasn’t anything to say if he was being quite honest. his relationship with his family died out a long time ago. the only person that he could talk to was himself. the guys who were constantly down in the basement at his dealer were cool, but they never really got him. they thought he was weird, violent. only you cared enough to see how sweet he was. to paint him.

“good to hear. you tell your lover that i miss them!”

his heart, still colored from the mention of you, breaks. it had broken many times from your presence on this earth being acknowledged. everytime his chest would explode into his stomach.

he couldn’t say anything.

he simply walks out the place, not caring about manners. he just wants to go home. he doesn’t even like these fucking chicken tenders, but he’s going to go home and eat them. in your honor.

“excuse me.” a voice exclaims as he finally makes it outside.

once again, words don’t leave his mouth. the woman was probably lost. he truthfully didn’t care. he didn’t care about anything anymore.

“sorry,” she begins. her hair is almost a white color. it’s clearly dyed, but she might have been naturally a darker shade of blonde since the coloring seemed too perfect. “i just...i’ve been watching you - wait, that sounds incredible creepy—“

no one could compare to you, but she reminded him of you. you always did this when you were nervous, or had a severe lack of sleep. you would say things you considered to be silly. fumble with your words. and you would always ruin it more by acknowledging it.

but he was never irritated. he thought it was the cutest thing in the entire world. you were the cutest thing in the entire world.

even now, he’s okay. maybe because he was reminded of you, he can appreciate the art.

“you’re really cute.” she finally spits out.

he couldn’t respond, for the third time today.

why was this so hard? it has almost been a fucking year. a year without you. a year without touching you.

yet, no one could ever compare. not the blonde woman standing in front of him. not the sky. not the stupid bar. even his drugs seemed lackluster to the high you gave him whenever you told him you loved him.

he walks away. he needs something. something to make him unable to think for the rest of the night.

never thought you’d be so damn hard to replace. i swear I don’t mean to be this way, if I can’t have you? is love completely off the table?

“y/n? you there?” you feel vibrations from snapping on your face from the man sitting beside you. he snapped three times, to be exact.

“yeah! yes.” you quickly correct, adjusting your posture along with it.

“i know you appreciate the arts, but that painting is nothing to stare at.”

the painting chan was referring to, seemed plain to a simple eye. it simply, was a black square. but you saw worlds in it. you saw him.

“you know christopher,” you cooed, giving his slim cheek a quick sqeeze before continuing, “just because something seems boring to the naked eye, doesn’t mean it actually is. sometimes, a simple work of art such as that lame black square can hold a thousand meanings.”

he smile is radiant. honestly, the neon colored walls in the movie theater couldn’t compare to it no matter how hard it tried. lately, you had been trying to predict what he would say when you tried to be somewhat of substance around him. you were truthfully scared of boring him.

maybe you saw yourself in the black square as well.

“you really find it interesting, love?”

his accent - God his accent. it had an effect on you that truthfully wasn’t healthy, but even so you always felt guilty when your heart would papilate as it touched your eardrums. but why? you were single. you were moving on.

you can’t even look at him anymore, so you settle on the painting once more. now that you think about it, it was kind of scary that it was in a movie theater. maybe chan was on to something - what was its purpose? to simply cause you pain? to make you think about things and people you could no longer have? a person who is the worst possible thing for your growth, but the best food for your pitiful, lonely soul?

“never mind, you’re right.” you stand promptly, suddenly wanting to get as far away from the evil on the wall. it didn’t matter how chilly it was outside.

“woah.” chan chases after you. you’re too quick though. you’ve practically swam through the crowd to escape into fresh air. what is wrong with you?

it doesn’t take long for you to find yourself at his car. his pride and joy by the way, in which he never let anyone else ride in yet. he had been saving for so long to get it. you didn’t know the model, all you knew was that it made loud noises when he wanted it to. the car was originally white, but the two of you agreed that it was the worse possible color for a car, so he got a paint job and now it was as black as a dark hole.

the stars are beaming, and it’s odd. you used to love nights like this. you preferred the day time, but it was something about a light in the dark, such as the moon that pulled you in. it always destroyed you in the end though.

“what did I do?” his voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“huh?” you wizzle in confusion, not understanding why he believed he had done anything but gave you a peaceful night not lost in your thoughts.

his eyes tell you everything you need to know before his mouth does. he isn’t questioning your ever changing emotions and happiness to hear satisfaction from your mouth - to boost his ego. he truly feels as if he’s ruined any chance he’s had with you simply from being himself. even so, as he waits for you to answer he’s taking his bomber jacket off for you to wear. he was sweet like that.

“chris, you are always perfect. why would you think anything different?” you say as you put the jacket on.

he’s holding back a smile, but you can tell it’s more so from your proper word choice, and not what you said.

“you trying to sound English?”

“no.” you giggle, pushing his shoulder lightly. “I’m just trying to communicate with you.”

“then tell the truth.” he prompts, taking a step closer to you.

“can I lean on the car?”

“yes.” he laughs in a low tone. “you can lean on the car.”

“okay.”

silence is filling the air, and it’s making you sick even though it shouldn’t be.

“y/n.” he finally speaks. you decide you have the balls to look at him even though it feels so wrong. the stars - they’re sparkling right into his eyes and you know you are the dumbest idiot on earth.

why can’t you just choose him?

the question is repeating over and over in your head, but no answer comes. well, no answer you want to hear comes. this should’ve been easy money. the perfect guy, with a good family and solid morals is madly in love with you. he’s still here, even when you barely give him anything to work with, and you’re thinking about others who were nothing close to that no matter how they made you feel.

“my confession ruined everything, didn’t it?”

it was about two months ago that chan confessed his love for you. you laughed a bit, as it made no sense. the two of you had been in the same circle for awhile, and you had been notified of his appreciation for you long ago, but he had seen you break. he watched you go from happy soul to broken and he still liked you? in what world?

you enjoyed his company. that’s why you began to hang out with him practically everyday - doing whatever you two wanted. most of the time you two just watched movies, or played silly board games. but sometimes you would go shopping, or he would play you his music he worked on. you could tell he lacked confidence on what he could become, but you knew he had the potential to be so great.

his confession was short and sweet. and the way he approached you, you could tell he was somewhat confident that you would feel the same. you did feel the same, but you also still had feelings for others. when you declined his request to take things to the next level, he didn’t get upset. or at the least he didn’t show it.

he promised the two of you would move at your pace. and that was all you needed to hear to know that maybe one day, when you got yourself together, the two of you could be something.

chan always protected you. you never felt endangered, or unsafe when you were with him. to you, he was sweet, to others he was still sweet, but he knew when to be stern.

“no. i promise.” is all you answer. “it’s cold.” here you go again trying to change the subject. this wasn’t like you.

he promptly unlocks the door to his car, opening it for you as well. it isn’t long before he’s on the drivers side turning on the car so you could feel some heat on your body.

“i won’t bring it up anymore.” he sighs.

“no chris. you bring it up everytime you feel it. i like you, okay? i do. i know I’ve never said it out loud before, but I do. i just...i don’t know what I’m doing right now. there are some things I have to get over you know?”

you can tell the amount of words you used - probably the most you had spoken to him in months shocked him, and made him feel extremely guilty. you know he didn’t want you to feel like he was trying to pressure you. all he wanted to have was something. something that made him feel as special as he knew you had made others feel in the past.

“y/n I’m a fucking idiot. God, don’t listen to me. you are perfect okay? we are working at your pace and we always will. i - fuck.” his face goes directly in his hands.

it’s cute - the way he cares about his every move around you so deeply. you remember what it felt like to feel like that. it was the most nerve wracking, yet butterfly giving thing to experience when around someone you admired so much.

“chris...” you whisper, removing his face from his palms. he had the softest hands ever. “hey, don’t beat yourself up okay? i know what you want and I know you have nothing but the purest intentions. if I didn’t feel that way I wouldn’t want to spend everyday with you okay? whatever you think this is, it is. i promise.”

“okay.” he sighs the biggest breath of relief you had heard in a long time. “okay. i know what we need.” he offers. your hand lingered on his, and he decided it would be best to hold yours as the opportunity presented itself. it’s nice - the warmness. yet, it feels incredibly wrong.

you truly didn’t mean to be this way. you would do anything to not be this way.

“let’s go cop something from felix. hm?”

what chan was reffering to was the good ole’ mean green, weed. you smoked a lot more in the past than you did now, but you were still no angel. especially tonight did getting high sound like the best decision you could have made.

“yes please.” you say without hesitation, leaning back in the seat. your left hand is still in chan’s right, and you don’t plan on letting go. felix’s house isn’t that far from here, so you know your pleasure will be coming sooner or later. chan starts the car and begins the journey. usually, the two of you drive with music on, but tonight the silence was what the both of you wanted.

secretly though, chan snuck his AirPod into his left ear. he loved music, but he could tell you weren’t in the mood. and he didn’t mind that. he would do anything for you. the lyrics resonated with his with his soul so much that he felt it ache, even though he felt he had no right.

i’ll wait for you

even if I always feel like I’ll be number two

to someone you can’t hold anymore

taeyong can’t even recall how long he had been pent up here, high as hell. intoxicated as fuck. the chicken tender meal he brought had been long gone, but not from his mouth. the junkies smelt food, and took food like the animals they claimed to be.

this all sucked so bad. he hated being here. but he couldn’t move.

it was so loud in here. the boys he knew - johnny, mark, and jaehyun were all present. they seemed to be the leaders of the basement and they also seemed to be functioning quite well considering how high they also were. taeyong couldn’t fathom or make out what their conversation were, but he assumed it was about girls. he caught, “they’re supposed to be here any minute now.” from jaehyun’s lip. he seemed to be the strongest ladies man. all taeyong knew, was that he wanted no parts of the drug induced orgy he knew was going to take place. he also knew if he didn’t leave, they didn’t care. they were going to give a show regardless.

“taeyong!” johnny yells, bringing him back to focus. johnny was always very intimidating. he wore a smile when he got what he wanted, but if he spoke to you and you didn’t listen, he quickly got upset. maybe he was different when he was sober, but that was never.

“what’s up.” taeyong answers dryly, still not looking at him.

“you know,” johnny sits down in the dirty floor right beside him. “you’ve never been fun, but you were more fun before than you are now.”

“i went through this phase.” mark interrupts, taking the seat on taeyong’s opposite side. “what is it? mommy issues? a girl? or a boy? if you get spicy like that.” he chuckles. he coughs right after.

“how about everything. except the last part.” taeyong whispers.

“oh...you have it rough. was your mom a druggie too?”

“no - well, I don’t know. i met her like once when I was younger. she told me ‘i did it for your good’ and left.”

“so you were in a foster home? or did you get adopted?”

“foster home. neglected, so now I’m like this.” he chuckles. he’s laughing, but in reality to admit these things out loud hurt, even though he was sure the other boys had similar or worse stories.

“and the girl?” mark asks. he had began to roll up another blunt in the midst of taeyong’s life story. maybe it was too much for him. or maybe he was just an addict.

“i cheated. and i was mean. she was the best thing ever though. she got me clean.”

“for what? a day?” johnny laughs outloud.

“well, not clean clean.” he explains. “but off the hard stuck like coke, and lsd and shit. we both smoked weed. and I smoked cigs.”

“ew!” the two of them exclaim. “cigs?”

“so you’re telling me that the two of you do every drug under the sun, but cigarettes are where you draw the line?”

“duh!”

“have you seen all the commercials? with the person with the hole in their throat sounding like the old shriveled lady from spongebob going ‘chocolate!’ we don’t want that!”

“cigarettes aren’t the only thing that can cause that, you know?”

“whatever.” johnny shivers as if he had just gotten the worse news ever. “so this girl wasn’t a druggie? why did she even like you?”

“i don’t know. still to this day I don’t know. but she did. and she tried everything to make me happy. it just felt too good to be true, so I ruined it.”

“damn bro.” mark sighs, taking a deep puff of his blunt. “i thought people only did stupid shit like that in the movies or tv shows.”

“hey hey now, markie.” a voice speaks out of the corner. “be nice to our new friend.”

it’s jaehyun. funny enough, jaehyun tried to get at you once long before you met taeyong, but you had no interest in him once you found out his issues. then again, while he was attracted to you, he didn’t want you to love him. he just wanted to corrupt you.

“our boy is broken hearted. seems to me like he just needs some fun.”

“relax, jae.” johnny explains. “he’s not there yet. let him fall for us on his time.”

“what are you on right now?” jaehyun inspects.

“just a couple of blunts.”

“so just a starter?”

“hyung...” mark sighs.

“okay okay. fine. but when the heartbreak starts to kick in more, i got something that’ll change your life. you just let me know.”

“he will.” johnny and mark say once again in unison.

“boys!” a voice yells. it makes everyone stand up minus taeyong, as he had no idea who it was. he can hear feet coming down the steps. there’s a boy with blonde hair. the same boy who let him in. he was a new face, but clearly an important one from the way even jaehyun was waiting for his comment.

“hi felix!” everyone begins to repeat after eachother.

his voice is deep as he speaks, and his accent is thick. his face itself may have not been scary, but the way he carried himself was.

“clean up this fucking mess. i know you can’t do anything about the shitty couches, but make an attempt. i got some good people coming over and I need quiet. when I bring them down here to show them the product, i need everyone on their best behavior.”

“what exactly does that mean?” taeyong speaks. maybe he shouldn’t have, because everyone is looking at him as if he just called the president a bitch to his face or something.

“you’re new here.” felix explains as he finishes his strut down the stairs. he can be seen more clearly now, and his outfit reminds taeyong of someone you knew. he couldn’t remember his name, but it was chan or something. “well, new to me.”

“and?”

“and...” felix crouches to his level. “im the boss. and all of you do what I say. my brother ran this like a crackhouse. i want us to make some real money, therefore you all will be getting cleaned up. there will be people coming in and out, looking at what we have, so try not to act like the druggie you are. thanks.”

“yes sir.” taeyong says, although he has no intentions of respecting this felix cat.

the doorbell rings promptly. the house wasn’t so big that they wouldn’t be able to hear. clearly this felix had plans to change that, but for now he had to settle.

“that’ll be them. look like friends so they won’t be scared. they’re not like us. or, what you will be.”

with that he leaves. everyone is silent as they want to know who exactly is this person. they all expected some rich man with a million connections to be at the door. they hear one voice - an accent is present. he’s laughing, and they hear the sound of them dapping up.

“friend.” the voice says. they must have not seen each other in a long while. “what’s up? how have you been?”

“oh, I’ve never been better.” felix says. “and y/n.”

the sound of your name makes taeyong’s heart stop in his chest. what the? how could you of all people be here? you hated drugs. this was clearly a trap house. this is where taeyong would go to get everything you wanted, but you always refused to go with him. what male had you here?

jaehyun is smiling as he recognizes your name too. taeyong can’t notice though as he is genuinely about to have a panic attack.

“come downstairs will you? since chan told me it was a special occasion, I decided I’d let you two take a look.”

“felix...are you running a trap house?” you joke, not realizing how true your words were.

“not at all, sweets.” he relaxes you. “i just have good shit from my brother that needs to be sold. this is our little secret though.”

“we know.” chan answers for you. “snitches get stitches.”

“and end up in ditches.” felix finishes. “there are people down here, but they’re just chilling. don’t be scared.”

the three of you make your way down to the basement. jaehyun is the first face you recognize. you feel sick, but he didn’t phase you that much.

the black haired boy though, sandwiched between two other guys, makes your trip and fall on the disgusting floor.

it’s him. it’s really him.

why? all you wanted to do was have fun. all you wanted to do was forget him.

you can see in his eyes does he want to explode. but this was his fault. this was all his fault.

to be continued...

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