#i feel like would never say something stupid im just always paranoid

[georgette-mademoiselle]

Georgette and sekido part 8

overthinking

This one is kinda a continuation to the last one i made yesterday

Even since the beginning of there first encounter she had always tried to keep away from him because he was very intimidating but after finally bieng alone to talk to him that fateful day there relationship started to slowly develop from there but would revert back when his anger got the best of him towards her accidentally.

But on this particular day she was avoiding him for a week now and soon his rage would dwell into fear he thought he was going to lose her for good and choose to be with the others instead of him permanently.

He was in his working station in his room mot even able to concentrate as he fidgets around his pen while the other massages his temple his leg making the same movement as his working hand he was nervous more so that his beloved could possibly be thinking to leave him now because he went to far in his words.

He may be the embodiment of anger but still shares the same anxiety as hantengu just not to that extreme. Soon his chest almost felt tight and suddenly hes gulping down his weakness near the edge of wanting to have a paranoid breakdown never in his life has he felt such guilt for his actions not like this hes not used to this feeling at all and it only agitates him more that hes in this vulnerable state of despair and shame.

But then the door slides open he had forgotten to lock it. it was georgette, she had come to check up on him after never leaving his room all day today sne was worried for his well-being but before she could even say anything something was already wrong by the shaking body gesture and hands clutched onto his head "sekido!" She called.

Immideatly he jolted to her way. His eyes where wide in fear and it looked as if he was fighting back tears seeing the glisten of his eyes while sweating. His panick attack was about to hit full blown but her presence and look of genuine concern blocked it from happening.

"g-gerogie..." Just before she could move towards him with open arms sekido jumped out of his seat to hold her missing her warmth her gentlness her scent everything about this woman he missed it all. Wrapping his arms around her waist before he fell to his knees the wetness of her dress as he silently sobs of relief.

"sekido! Sekido! Hey whats wrong? My thunder storm why do you weep?" She kneels down letting him rest upon her lap as he lets it all out fingers caressing his soft auborn colored hair.

His words took time to put together, pulling together to stop from hyperventilating until finally words managed to escape his mouth.

" i-i-...im sorry! Ok there! Sorry! I know im not the kindest of person in the world infact i dont even deserve to be treated with such gesture! Y-you deserve better ok! Go with ai hes more empathetic o-or urogi! He can make you smile! Even stupid karaku would be better of with you! J-just...*fighting the urge not to cry again* anyone but me ok! I dont want to hurt you like that ever again I'm sorry georgie im so sorry!...."

She sat there and listened to his woes, she had no idea that he would have been affected by her absence, she only wanted to give him room to breath no matter how long it taked but that wasnt the case sekido missed her since day one of leaving him alone and now his guilt took a toll on him that she would leave him for somone else somone better and kinder. Yet little did sekido know he was kind a very different kind of kindness that was rare to see.

" my love, why do you say such nonsense? I already have the most kindest most understanding man right her on my lap." She moves her other hand to rub his shoulder.

" your motherly nature when you look out for your comrades is something i admire, perhaps strict but nonetheless its because you care for there safety"

" and dont think ive forgotten the time when you nurtured me during the time i came home with my face disfigured you still complimented me thoughtful after i was feeling low self esteem in that moment and to top it off you even came to my care when i was sick due to my ability even though you didnt have to. i think about it often "she chuckles placing a kiss on his forhead.

" you are loved sekido, and you are wanted. Nobody is perfect and thats ok...im not eather. No matter how rocky our relationship gets i want us to be able to solve it together because at the end of the day while i love the other three i want to be with *you* more than anyone sekido.."

He listened and the more he did the more he was gaining his composure again. He needed to hear that this was something hes been needing to hear for a long time now. Hes flawed and thats ok she is aswell. As his worries finally drift away sekido finally had the courage to slowly lift himself up to her nuzzling on the crook of her neck the same she did to him during that day of her mental breakdown.

"thank you, my rose..."

"i really needed to hear that..." He deeply sighed feeling true relaxation now.

" i think if you hadnt had come here any time i would have already bashed my head againts the wall along with the other idiots."

She only laughed

" where going to have to work on a different approach for a better anger management for example"

Hands him a rubber stress ball "tada!'

"....what the fuck is that?'" he looked at it with disgust the texture feeling wrong to him

" a stress management ball you can squeeze it throw it and smash it to let your anger all out see? Im good at this!"

He just stares at it and then clutches it with his fists then snorts.

" well this sure looks fun.."

"because it is my little lightning bolt ❤️"

Dividers by @/elryisia

[the-ghost-of-bit-the-hand1987]

hai and welcome :0]

my name is: Rex / Quill

i use these pronounz: it/it/its & byte/byte/bytes

im a justa fat boy-girl-animal-thing trying to live in tha world. idk what to tell you. i personally am not a fan of large amounts of (unhelpful) anger and hatred. peace and love on planet earth, okay? 💛

i'll gladly reblog donation/fundraiser/etc. posts, always feel free to ask. very sorry if i dont respond verbally- i promise i see your request and im not ignoring you!

i am very shy and paranoid all the time so please be niceys. okay thank you. i love you

important info & my tags are below this read more!

- 😁 please just be thoughtful and considerate with the things you say and do, even when its regarding shitty people. im so tired. 😁

- I think everyone deserves slack and grace- as you never fully, truly know someones life. I think it is a good idea to grant others the benefit of the doubt and assume no malicious intent, until proven otherwise. I think it is important to be kind, considerate, and understanding. People tend to be foolish, and if you (have the energy to) lend others grace in those foolish moments, then I think you will surely help make the world a more pleasant place.

- if we are mutuals it would make me super duper happy if you would tag sugary foods, as they make me sick just to look at or think about! just a "#sweets" works! if you dont wanna thats okay though, but thank you so muach if you do!! :0] (cupcakes, cakes, cookies, anything with icing or frosting, chocolate, or marshmallows on/in it)

- i try to tag posts for when they use gifs, depictions of death/blood/gore, or ableist language- but i usually refrain from doing so when they are on a donation post or something similar, as to not hinder the reach of the post. If you frequently reblog posts with/use ableist terms like "moron" or "stupid", or frequently make assumptions about peoples experiences/intentions/abilities then I am likely to unfollow/block you. I am not a fan of any generalizations, especially not ableist ones 😁👍

- i personally believe that gender is next to pointless, and hope one day that it will be treated as such. the only real thing about gender is the awful way it affects people. genders arent actually definable, theyre entirely made-up. "masculine" and "feminine" are not real things and do not ever use those words around me or i will have to send 14 locked and loaded chickens to your location.

my tags:

#hashtag awesome - (usually) for cool art

#hashtag beautiful - (usually) pictures/art of people

#hashtag fav - my favorite posts

#hashtag ultra fav - my favorite posts (cooler version)

#hashtag beastly angels worthy of worship - posts containing transmission towers

#hashtag freddiez favorite wordz - poetry, stories, words, etc.

#hashtag cool ass clothes - i want these clothes they look cool

#hashtag yimyum - things i want to eat/chew on

#hashtag need this - i need this item

#hashtag real - posts i look at and go "omg so real/true"

#crying crying crying - many variants of this tag, just basically means this made me tear up or made me extremely emotional

#hashtag squaking - thats me baby!

if you need something tagged let me know :0]

[dancinatmyfuneral]

💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 :)

(random question strung along with it ; what is something you find both beautiful and repulsive?)

aww thank you <33

thats a pretty hard question, but i think i have a pretty good answer

its the way my boyfriend acts. the way he just lets himself say and do what he feels like saying or doing. i think it's awesome and every time he says something stupid to one of his friends in the halls at school, or does something embarrassing that gets him weird looks (which i doubt he even notices) i fall more in love with him. i would say that i also find it repulsive because of my own aversion to sticking out of the crowd. i hate being noticed and i do everything i can to blend in. im hyper aware of when people are looking at me and i'm paranoid that everyone who whispers is whispering about how weird i am, and i can't help but project that onto him. i never say anything, i just laugh because it truly is endearing when he does all his stupid shit. i just also always have that twinge of fear and it makes me sad.

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

It’s great ugh the sadness turned into joy. Maybe you like pain…I don’t know how to feel about that.

Yup. That makes sense especially with Elon musk making up so many weird rules and sometimes the toxicity on the site. I wish I can commission or use patron. But my mom can’t know or I will be in big trouble.

Oh that makes it worse to me since if I don’t know the teacher and do it online causes me anxiety feeling like I’m bothering them. Oh that sucks since I’m a person who needs to be explained in more intricate detail or I mess up something up and feel like a failure. Yeah nope I will fail especially math since math is fucking hard like why is there letters in math? Why so many equations?! Why does science have to do with it all the sudden! I feel the memories resurfacing. Sorry to hear that it sucks. Wow that’s a lot of points and low B? Viví I would be lucky to have that grade in school especially math since dammit I almost failed a grade because of it.

At least your worried, lots of parents unfortunately don’t realize the dangers of the internet on children. At least your looking after them. Have you talked about it to them though? Some children maybe feel your harsh because since your there sibling and not actually the mom they feel you shouldn’t have that authority. I know I felt that way with my older sis when she was onto me. Maybe talking about why there so angry about it will help? Sorry if this sounds offensive and I definitely have no say in the matter just wanting to ask about it since maybe they feel this way to be cool with there peers or something. Kids should have limits and your right for that.

Good good because I don’t like the idea of you were alone with him. At least he lost interest. Me too or unfortunately you could’ve gotten hurt. I don’t want to assume he had bad intentions but from how the news is it’s better to be a bit paranoid then feel nothing can happen to you.

Also my god at work today I’m so glad I was so calm because this lady when I asked what she wanted to drink she said a alcholic drink and when she was about to pull her identification which was paper I said I couldn’t take it and she got mad and she threw the fucking menu on the ground and angrily said “ Of course!” And I still had to order and when she got her main dish when I asked if she wanted cheese she said no and when I was walking away she said she wanted cheese. Later on when asking if she needed anything else she wanted to pay but in such a rude tone. After the payment was done I had to get another table order but when I went back she rudely said “ I’m finished.” And shoved her dishes to me with aggression. Like bitch I know your finished get the hell out if you going to act like that. I was close to just telling her I wouldn’t deal with her and she acts like she never got disciplined in her life and little children act more civil than her. Like my god you mother be ashamed of you right now how stupid you look. Ugh it was humiliating .

Me when i read that:

Oh that doesn't sound good. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IM OVER STEPPING BOUNDARIES but if it's a money thing I wouldn't mind paying for a commission for you 💕

Oh, don't get me started in math! I made sure that was an in-person class cause I struggle so hard! I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I had for tests! AND I HAVE TO TAKE MORE FOR MY PROFESSION AAAAAHHH. Also I'm always worried about my grade due to my Fasfa indont want lose it cause I can't pay for college on my own 😭😭

No need to apologize I do appreciate your input. The oldest understands and is even willing to show it to me when I get curious. (I only check in once a month I give them space unless I hear or see something in passing I don't like.) I have talked to the youngest but doesn't make it easier cause they just see it as being mean. I just hope one day they will understand better.

Trust me I know. I've had terrible experiences so I tend to be more on guard with men i don't know well. I feel guilty about it sometimes, but bad memories and what I hear tells me otherwise.

Holy shit that sounds God awful. She was being a dick for not getting her way, and you're right her momma would be ashamed. Acting like a spoiled child in public. Disgusting.

[newyearz]

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP? summery songs! been listening to lots of pop and just generally upbeat stuff + got out of school and stuff so i was in the summer mood. plus i had two trips planned for june so i was truly summerpilled -> wrote a summer vacation fic in JANUARY and im not even a fan of summer usually

✂️- What was something you had to cut from your WIP? a lot of background dynamics and relationships i like :( because sadly all of blue lock could not be on the cruise that iyo planned months ago before they knew blue lock existed + i’m not a huge fan of big complex group texts or whatever in my fics. (also i am contemplating omitting the Hot Tub Scene because i feel like if a single late night cruise swimmer saw them making out in the hot tub they'd be so cooked by football dudebros -> but i could probably switch it to a pool scene if i rlly wanted to, i would have to look into like. cruise ship pool hours and stuff. obviously i have never been on a cruise)

🦐- Talk about a time when you made yourself laugh or cry? when i referenced isagi thinking bachira is lovely and perfect while being "straight" to that meme of the guy on grindr where he's defending himself being straight on there by saying lactose intolerant people can still go in the dairy aisle

🐍- How do you deal with it when you come across a plothole? this is a great question - honest to god the main 'plot hole' per se in hg is the fact that iyo and yuu have known each other for like 2 days and are on vacation together. i dealt with this by telling readers to suspend their disbelief and walk with me + by making isagi canonically think it's a lil bit crazy lasdfjasdlfkjasdlf

💥- What does your writing schedule look like? sporadic, there is no schedule, i just write whenever i feel like it, phone or laptop or pc depending on my mood

😍- Post one sentence you think is really great. "The idea of Bachira being upset about the person he is makes Isagi feel sick." - literally not for any reason relating to syntax or diction or anything. i like this one because i really want to emphasize how important bachira is to isagi in honey gold -> i feel like because i write from bachira's pov most of the time i tend to make the whole "you were my first friend you inspire me in ways nobody else does you changed my life" thing sort of one-sided but honey gold isagi specifically has such a great appreciation for bachira, both platonic and romantic. i think he would be fine being best friends and never "getting the guy" (though i dont like to write a sad or overly ambiguous ending so that wont be happening)

👽- What do you think is the weirdest thing about your WIP is? cruise ship mechanics. the whole trip planning thing with iyo and yuu. the fact that their parents keep Conveniently letting the boys go off to do whatever and hold hands and be gay. yes i am highly aware that it's unrealistic but so is BEING IN SOCCER JAIL AND LOSING YOUR SOCCER CAREER IF YOU FUCK UP

🌵- What did you start with first for your WIP? Worldbuilding, character, or plot? plot! i made a google doc with a detailed outline in three parts: general ideas and vibes, a quick one-sentence rundown of the main activity in each chapter, and then a more detailed outline of each individual chapter from beginning to ending. mainly the beginnings and endings are planned out and i fill the middle in with whatever i have from that general top section that i want to use :D but some things aren't getting included sadly

🫀- Do you have an abandoned project? Why did it get binned? i don't have any ABANDONED blue lock projects specifically, but i do have ones on the back burner that might not see the light of day - namely my many half-cooked nagireo ideas. partly because i have gotten so used to writing bachisagi, partly because i’ve never written nagireo before and i’m scared of mischaracterizing them and getting cancelled. stupid ass fear to have but yk i’m always paranoid about shit like that, as if there isn't a thing called Ignoring Fics You Don't Like And Moving On. one day i will give nagireo a love story. there's an actor au, i think at least two pre-canons, and canon divergence u-20 arc that may never be written BUT I HAVE STARTED THE ACTOR AU barely. i also have a bachisagi post-canon i've been working on + many bachisagi wips that i will probably write when honey gold is finished :3 so not abandoned truly just not a priority

🔪- How do you feel about writing fight scenes? i don't like it :( if we're talking physical fights then definitely i dont fw it because i just dont enjoy writing them!!! i’m fine reading them but i prefer to write joy and good times. i’m not a huge fan of verbal fights either... when i was angsty and 13 and mentally ill i would get so fawking carried away with them bc bro was projecting and now i feel corny as hell writing them. even though anything in honey gold chapter 4 is definitely cornier than whatever argument i could write rn at almost 17 rather than 13.

🎓- Did you have formal training in creative writing? How do you feel about that? i did not. i have been rawdogging creative writing since i started - and i love it!!! it feels like a hobby and not something i’ve had to be taught. i love that i've been able to build a writing style and process without taking a class for it or anything... just with my own love for writing and the support of my buddies i've accumulated over the years :3 i want to take a creative writing class one day for fun but i'm scared getting graded on it will make me treat writing like a job instead of a hobby. ik it's possible to Not end up like that but i do not want to lose my love for writing.. my spark...

👍- What was the first piece of creative writing you ever did? How do you feel about it now? if we're talking things i wrote with the intent to post... a fucking hamilton college au when i was 13. quarantine was a funny time. it fucking SUCKED don't get me wrong, but i will never get rid of it - there would be none of my current works without that shitty hamilton fic. and the craziest thing is that i can see some of my current writing style in that fic :) i’ve always written in a very loose and unserious style, i don't take myself too seriously, and it's really evident in that fic and other ones i wrote that year. some things never change. learned better grammar and sentence structure but i still might be gods most unserious and i like it that way!!! all the times i've tried something more flowery and poetic, i’ve gotten bored and not had fun... and it's all about the fun to me. i have fun writing and posting and interacting with people who appreciate my work. if i posted something i had no fun writing and wasn't proud of, i feel like it would be evident.

🥸- Which character is most like you? this is a really good question. if i'm talking about my own wips or fics on my ao3, i will have to go with bachira from this fic specifically... a lot of his relationship with yuu is similar with my r/s with my own mom + i too didn't really have a solid group of loving and trustworthy friends since high school. bachira has always been a fun character to write for that reason, he comes easy to me because he's just so fucking relatable in so many ways. when i inevitably grow away from blue lock i will never turn on him he is my goat. i will glaze fc barcha just for him.

🕳️- Talk about a research rabbit hole you fell down! HOMOSEXUALITY IN PROFESSIONAL SOCCER or football whatever i’m sorry for being AMERICAN. specifically for hg4 reasons that made me sad. i also fell down a pinterest rabbit hole of cruise ship bedrooms and aesthetics but that is unimportant

🏡- Would you live in the world you created? Why or why not? as long as they dont put my former-athlete ass into blue lock i’m down. let me get bachira's autograph and gossip by the pool with bachisagi's mothers

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration? music! and brainrot with gang (and by gang i mean the famous ky who betas everything i write despite not having seen blue lock until like the last week or so). most of my ideas are formed from a Vibe i get by listening to a song i like... the song honey gold is based off of is just super like light and airy and summery. funny story, i don't even relate the song itself to bachisagi at all - it codes as a satosugu song in my head. but the vibes were there

📝- What writing software do you use? Does it work for you? good ol google docs and sometimes my iphone notes app. works great. tried and true. i think i'd explode if i switched to something new

📱- Are you planning on publishing? How and where? Are you trying to monetize your writing? i am not rlly planning on publishing (i’m pretty sure these questions are not geared towards fanfic only writers but i love to yap about honey gold writing process) or monetizing my writing... i think it relates back to the thing about how if i took a writing class and my work was graded, it would start to feel less fun. if writing was my JOB and not my hobby that i spend freakish amounts of time on, i feel like it wouldn't be as fun :( i’m sure that isn't true for everyone but idk i am very much the "i want to do ___ on my own accord, but if somebody tells me to do it, then i suddenly don't want to." yes i am stubborn yes i am just a girl

i love yapping, shoutout honey gold, shoutout op for the banger questions enabling my absolute chatterfest at 1 am when i am busy tomorrow

Writing Shop Talk ask meme!

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP?

✂️- What was something you had to cut from your WIP?

🦐- Talk about a time when you made yourself laugh or cry?

🐍- How do you deal with it when you come across a plothole?

💥- What does your writing schedule look like?

😍- Post one sentence you think is really great.

👽- What do you think is the weirdest thing about your WIP is?

🌵- What did you start with first for your WIP? Worldbuilding, character, or plot?

🫀- Do you have an abandoned project? Why did it get binned?

🔪- How do you feel about writing fight scenes?

🎓- Did you have formal training in creative writing? How do you feel about that?

👍- What was the first piece of creative writing you ever did? How do you feel about it now?

🥸- Which character is most like you?

🕳️- Talk about a research rabbit hole you fell down!

🏡- Would you live in the world you created? Why or why not?

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration?

📝- What writing software do you use? Does it work for you?

📱- Are you planning on publishing? How and where? Are you trying to monetize your writing?

--

If you're new to this, it's generally good etiquette to 1) send the person you reblogged this from an ask and 2) copy paste the whole question and not just the emoji!

[imakill10atomsofh2o]

Very big vent laugh out loud:

c: I always wonder why I have no close friends. I mean, I have friends but I can’t really ever tell them anything, nothing personal at least, if I do it’s covered with lies because I know how they’d react, maybe that’s why. Maybe it’s because I’m terrible at giving advice, I can’t comment on anyone’s problems because the comments just sink the problems further. Maybe it’s because I never say anything, I never text first or ask to go out, I’m too scared to. I know it’s terrible because I shouldn’t be looking at what I want, I should be directing my attention to what I have, but it’s just a wonder. Sometimes I get paranoid into believing that they’ve heard something I have done, something so vile my image is tinted an ugly green. Maybe it’s all the lies, I’m not sure why but I tell a lot of lies, not giant like “I have cancer” small, for fun, and I’m sure they know there lies, I’m not 7,8, I’m not a multi millionaire, but sometimes I tell some I’m not very sure they know are lies, I lie about my name, my age, etc, it’s just simple and brings up a conversation when they find out, because I never have anything to talk about. Sometimes I feel like no one likes the same things as me, if they do then not as much as me, like I don’t really like Spiderman, and im not a big fan of Sanrio or anything that people would be ok saying out loud. If I wasn’t so stupid I might actually have a lot of friends, a lot of people say I’m pretty, funny, and smart, but I know they don’t mean that and that’s not true, if I was wouldn’t people want to know more about me? Wouldn’t they ask how my day was? Or would they just ask me for homework answers and instructions when they don’t listen, why am I like that, what makes me so different from everyone else. Maybe it’s because I can’t ask for help, like I’ve said I hate texting people first, I’d hate for anyone to think I’m stranger then they think; which is already a lot, I would feel as if I was dug into a pit in life that I can’t get out of, a pit that doesn’t kill me but can’t make me stronger because there is no way for me to use my strength, I’m already dead at that point. I want help but I don’t want people to know, I want no one to know at all, but how will I do that, there is no way, there is no way for me to keep this image that I live being and get better and such.

I love thinking in the 4th person, like I am more then what I am, which I love because I’m basically nothing; just another person, which is very true. I am just another person, I think, I can change, I’m human. But thinking in the 4th person makes me feel like more then another person I’m 5, 5 people, this isn’t true but I’m sure a lot of people relate, there’s 5 different me’s and they all hate about 9 people, each other and there past selves, I’m not trying to say I am not them, I am, like slightly different shades of play dough put together in a container. But I guess this is just what it’s like to be human, simple to use complex to learn, everyone is like this, but it’s so hard for me to understand, I feel like I need to unravel something that everyone has already unraveled

I hate sharp objects and veins, they remind me of when I saw my friend SHing themselves when I was about 9, which I hate because that wasn’t even me, I shouldn’t be crying every time I’m reminded of those things like I am now. There’s so many things that make me feel like that, some people get mad at me, they basically say I’m not ugly enough to hate myself, which is funny because I’m pretty sure I am, I’m not comfortable, but that’s not really for me to decide, people who are bigger than me wear more revealing things, but I can’t even wear a T shirt without saying “why the fuck are you doing this, your too fucking fat, too ugly��� over and over in my head, I wish that I could switch bodies with whomever wants, so that they would be happy and I could kill myself without feeling bad. Over all I’m just too stupid, too stupid too solve the small problems in my head, nothing real everything fake, small, irrelevant. Nothing for worry. b:🦄💪😼😹🤑🧚‍♀️🤶🧙‍♀️

d: GIRL WHY THE HELL DID I WRITE ALL THAT WTF 😭

[highnoonyone]

i dont use tumblr like i used to but since i know you're lurking:

i wonder why you'd be paranoid after ditching your two "best friends". just to, what, isolate yourself with your partner? and no, i'm not going to namedrop you, but i hope you live with this guilt for the rest of your life. you're not welcome with us anymore, or any of our friends. i hope you look at all of the art you commissioned from me and feel immeasurable guilt. no goodbye, no reasoning. you just left.

i still cannot believe you said "my partner is more important than my friendship with you" to our faces when we asked for a little bit of time spent together, and that you wouldnt play our favorite games with us but you suddenly would with them. and it sucks, because they're a really nice person, but you're just a piece of shit. i hope they find someone better.

im never going to get over the fact you talked shit behind my back while we were dating. and then telling people that you wanted to date one of my alters immediately after she woke up from dormancy. and that you'd try to get your relationship with her back, even though she told you to your face, she didn't want to date.

and you know what. it was really fucking shitty of you to excuse your stupid online selfship friend to listing k//lling st//lking as a media they were into after my boyfriend and i TOLD YOU it was an unsafe media for GAY MEN and we didn't feel comfortable with you interacting with them. because, what? you're too fucking attracted to an average joe drawing on the internet? fuck off

it was so fucking weird how you didn't give a shit about anything that we had to say about us being affected by something as gay men. it felt awful, especially as your "best friends". but your partner cared. another reason why they dont and never will deserve to be with someone as awful as you! :D

on top of that, not only do you selfship with characters that are heavily MLM coded, YOU FUCKING IDENTIFIED WITH ONE OF THEIR TWIN SISTERS WHILE SELFSHIPPING WITH THEM. crazy! also, it's not biphobia to call you out for selfshipping with them. are you fucking stupid. that dumb anon you got was in NO WAY being biphobic. who gives a fuck if they weren't written for representation, you're going to look at a MAN WHO IS CHRONICALLY OBSESSED WITH ANOTHER MALE AND THINK "hm. i should write a mary sue oc that has the same condition as him because clearly he likes women!". ok.

btw saying a colorist character looks gender just because she has red hair is fucking disgusting and im really ashamed and disappointed in you for looking at this whitewashed character and thinking "mm. nothing wrong here!". i wouldnt be surprised if you added her to your sources list in less than a week! not to fucking mention that you have a crush on a WHITEWASHED CHARACTER based off of a yoruba deity whos NAME ISNT EVEN SPELLED RIGHT. so much for you and your partner telling us that you'd "completely drop genshin if the arch0n was white". what happened to that? fwiw, i wouldnt also be surprised if you randomly dropped my boyfriend and i so you can go be fucking racist in your own hellhole just like his ex did.

did i mention that all of n//tlans characters are whitewashed?

did i also mention that you introjected my ex's source after we told you he acted ab//sive towards us and after we told you we cannot interact with any introjects of him. or did i just imagine it. because im pretty sure that happened! im pretty sure i had to sit you down and tell you we couldnt be friends with or be near him!

anyways. if you read this far congrats i guess. i'm never going to be satisfied with the amount of shit i have to write and put down because i'll always have more to say. to anyone else who's reading this: thanks for listening to my vent! i'm honestly heartbroken that i put so much effort into multiple years of a friendship just for them to ditch me the day before my birthday. dont be as stupid as i was! :)))

[everything-i-couldnt-tell-u]

it's just that, i wanted to do so much for you

i could listen to you rant everyday, i would create so many cards and hand crafted gifts for you

i wanna be the kind of person who can comfort you, i wanna be your biggest fan and the one who has memorized everything about you

i want to be the person you'll remember that would always love you, the kind of person who will always find a way to love every version of you no matter how much you change

i always wanna figure out how i could possibly make you smile, how i could possibly make every part of you feel loved

whenever i see something i love, i would always wanna find out how i could associate and share it with you

i have spent an unreasonable amount of my time in loving you and i would've stupidly spent much more in trying to love you harder

-----

those might be nothing cause i got no idea if i have ever even succeeded in doing them for you

most of all, i think the biggest thing i've always wanted to do for you is to love you in the way you want and need to be loved. i don't really care about all the ways i could possibly love you. it won't be enough to love someone in my love language if i can't give them what they actually prefer. if you'd ask me to do something for you or tell me how you want me to love you, i would honestly do it. i know there would be things i can't do but i know that i would keep trying until i figure out how to give it to you. i would've tried and played along with anything. if you asked me to worship you because it would make you happy, i might actually end up doing it.

right from the start when i realized i had feelings for you, the entire time i've been with you, i've been loving you in that very way. but i don't know if you'd ever do the same for me, that's why i've always been so scared of this all.

-------

i got so hurt whenever you said and did stuff that could possibly make my insecure ass feel like i'm not worth much to you to be someone you would do that much for. that's why i was constantly comparing myself to everyone else you talk to and why i kept getting paranoid. that's why you'd have me asking you a lot about what i mean to you and what you plan to do to me.

whenever i talked about this comfort i so badly needed, yeah i think i was talking about wanting to feel like you'd be interested in listening to me and making me feel safe to be myself around you. but i think i wasn't really hurt over how i couldn't have someone who would listen to me and make me feel safe. what i went paranoid over was how i must've thought that i'm not worth much to you that's why you couldn't give me that comfort. i didn't resent you for being bad at listening, i was just so frustrated with how it felt like i might not interesting enough to you no matter how hard i'll try that's why you always had nothing to say.

i guess i loved you too much and so it's hard for my stupid ass to accept that you might only be able to love me back to a certain point. i'm not saying that your love isn't enough cause god i know you have loved me so much, more than anyone has ever done and maybe more than what i deserve.

i dont know maybe it's just unlucky that you can't love me in the way i need to be loved the most? maybe it makes me sad seeing how much love you've already given me and how much more i'm willing to love you, but it seems like both might not be able to go any further because of that thing that can't be fulfilled?

i have no idea why i loved you so seriously and now look at what i did to myself.

----------

hell i'm sorry that i've been so sensitive to stuff you did. i know i overreacted a lot and held grudges too much. i'm just really sensitive to them cause i would never do those things to you. i would never make you look bad in front of other people, i would've never cursed you just because im caught up with my anger, i would've never told you that i'd do stuff for you that i won't actually do that would confuse you, i would've never done things recklessly, and i've always put so much consideration in what i say and do to you. yeah that's why i was hurt so much when those happened to me.

i'm sorry for all the things i've done due to that hurt i felt. i'm sorry for avoiding you, for doubting you, and in all the ways i may have hurt you too.

------------

i'm not sure why i was so frustrated over that? maybe i'm not ready to accept that maybe this is only how far i'd be able to love you? maybe it was my mistake, maybe a part of might have gotten the wrong idea and thought that you could love me like a romantic partner? maybe i gave too much of myself into this but now that i can't get back what i need, it's become so hard for me?

maybe it's because you always told me that you love me that's why i got all foolish and believed that maybe you'll love me back in the way i need to be loved? i don't know if this is selfish, if this was because i'm stupid and hoped for too much? but no, i don't think that i'm hurt because of how i can't get what i need. i think what actually hurt me is how i'm willing to give you anything and be anything for you, but realizing that you might not feel the same for me.

[winking]

😬

[spacedikut]

the very insecure dr reid ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: “Could you write another fic about early Spence where he’s all insecure” combined with another request :) 5730 words

a/n: title taken from s1e5!! i wrote this months ago aka before i decided to try to make my fics gender neutral and i tried to make the appropriate changes but im also a dumbass so! yeah! 

masterlist

Spencer is a man of science, if you didn’t already know.

This means he doesn’t spend his time fretting over what isn’t there, what doesn’t have facts and evidence to back it up. Of course, he dabbles in reading conspiracy theories and enjoys learning about various religions and things of that sort, but these are to expand his already infinite knowledge, not because he particularly believes in them.

The first time he believed there was some kind of God was when you kissed him.

It was after the case where both Elle and Spencer were trapped on a train with a paranoid schizophrenic – he still remembers how you reacted when he agreed to being sent in, how you tried to keep it light-hearted but pulled him aside to solemnly tell him you didn’t think you’d be able to live without him (if you do something rash and stupid, Spencer, I swear to God-). You threatened to nipple cripple him if he did die, and it was weirdly motivating.

After he was checked over, and teased Elle about saving her life, you came crashing into him with an audible oof and a whisper of, “God you smell so good I’m so glad you’re okay don’t ever do that again.” It was probably the adrenaline, the near-death experience high, but instead of gently pushing you away like he’d do with anyone else, he discovers your waist has a wonderful dip that his arms fit perfectly into as he tugs you close.

He’s hugged people before, obviously, but it’s always different with you.

You must think so, too, because when you pull away just enough that you’re still in his arms but can clearly see his face, you take a minuscule intake of breath that Spencer wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t, you know, Spencer.

A strand of Spencer’s hair falls from where it was tucked, falling into his line of sight. Without hesitation you’re pushing it back, fingertips brushing against Spencer’s cheek as you fold the hair back behind his ear. Your eyes meet when there’s no obstruction, electricity crackling in Spencer’s ears when he realises there’s nothing between you, nothing stopping you, and there’s something about the lack of space between you and how he holds you that just makes you ask-

“Would it be weird if I kissed you right now?”

Immediately, Spencer thinks yes. Not because he doesn’t want you to (he couldn’t think of anything better to do, to be honest), or because of where you are (although, knowing the whole team is not far away does make him feel a little funny), it’s because he’s him. Gangly, awkward, with very sweaty hands that feel at home on your body, and you don’t want to kiss that. You can’t want to.

Yet, he shakes his head, and finds himself copying you when you lean in and close your eyes.

It’s short, sweet, and somewhat weird. He thinks he blacks out, loses himself in your lips despite it happening so quickly.

When you pull back, Spencer’s eyes remain closed for a good few seconds before he’s brought back to Earth. And he doesn’t know what to say - pretty people don’t just… kiss him. They certainly don’t ask if they can kiss him, then follow through, and… stare at him like that.

“Has anyone seen Reid? Y/L/N?”

Whatever was supposed to happen after, whether it was good or bad, you’ll never know. Hotch’s footsteps are thundering towards you and, despite your daze, you step away from Spencer just as he spots you.

The second time he believed there was a God, he asked you on a date. And you said yes.

Neither of you mention the kiss. In your defence, he supposes, it happened merely an hour ago – everyone’s rushing to get back to Quantico so no one’s had time to make any kind of small talk, let alone have the talk after a kiss.

Elle gives Spencer a look of confusion when she slides past him, moving into the jet as he hovers in the entryway. He’s obviously waiting for someone, passing out tight lipped smiles to the team when they all squeeze past. Spencer isn’t a big guy, but it’s bizarre for him to be standing there like that, swaying like the palm tree he is – he’s usually setting up for yet another game of chess with Gideon at this moment.

Then you shuffle on, faltering when you catch him waiting for you but smile nonetheless. He straightens, hands remaining in his pockets when his mouth opens to speak. You interrupt him (before he can make a fool of himself, thank God).

“Wanna sit together?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. He nods and follows you like the lost puppy he is.

The second you invite him to sit next to you instead of opposite he wants to pull you tight into his side, but that seems like too much. He’s not Derek, for Heaven’s sake, and you’re not Garcia – all you’ve done is kiss once and really, when he thinks about it, you were probably on an adrenaline high too, so it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. It happens, Spencer’s read about it, and although it would break his heart that it meant nothing, it’s likely. Oh, it’s so likely.

Spencer might be the first one on the team to cry on the BAU jet.

Halfway home, the team is lost in their own pass-times to notice when you bookmark your page and place your book on the table.

“Spence,” You whisper, testing if he’s awake.

He is. He hasn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep, no matter how hard he tries. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if what I did earlier- you know-“ You gesture vaguely in the air, completely oblivious to the fact Spencer is very familiar with what happened earlier because he can’t stop replaying it, “-If that made you uncomfortable. Or if I forced you, or-“

“Would it be weird if I asked you on a date when we land?”

The grin you send him shoots straight to his heart, eyes crinkling with laughter at his echo of the words you used earlier. If you notice you don’t mention it, but his hands can’t stop fidgeting under the table, slick with sweat.

“It’d only be weird if you don’t kiss me after.” You say.

His brows furrow, a small incredulous laugh leaving him. “What? Why?”

“We’ve already had our first kiss, so it’s out of the way.”

“Are you saying… You want to kiss me again?”

You thought that was obvious from when you kissed him earlier, but you’re happy to remind him. “Yes. I would like that very much.”

“Okay,” He says, bashfully, with a lick of his lips. “I can- I can arrange that.”

This time, when you turn back to your book, your head finds his shoulder and Spencer thinks his it has turned to gold, blessed by being touched by you. Would it be too much if, the second you get back to base, he writes about this moment in great detail to his mother?

+++

All of that leads to now, where The Date is in three days.

He plans to take you to his favourite book café, a place you’ve always wanted to go but never had the chance to, and he was so, so excited. Any time he gets to spend with you is cherished and means more to him than it does to you, because to him it’s an excuse for you to give him more reasons to fall in love with you. And he does - fall in love - every single day.

Was is the important word here. He’s not excited anymore.

It’s terrifying how quick the tides can change.

Just this morning, he was glancing with child-like excitement at the outfit he’s already chosen for the date. You brought him some coffee, whispering an endearing, “Three days!” as you did, and, according to Derek, Spencer’s love eyes (what the hell does that mean) were so big even Derek fell in love with you for a second.

Now, Spencer’s not territorial, but that comment stuck with him. Maybe that’s why he’s here now.

He has to cancel the date.

It pains him – God, does it pain him – but he has to. He can’t go on that date with you. He can’t… put you through that. Make you spend time with him and have to let him down gently, slowly, like you’re talking down a temper tantrum. He can’t then pretend everything’s okay in front of the team. He won’t be able to pretend, because he’s liked you for months.

He won’t force you to go on that date with him. You deserve better than that, and better than him.

That’s what it comes down to: you deserve better than him.

It started that morning with Derek, as previously mentioned. Then the team was whisked away on a case, and the detectives were all over you. JJ, too, but they were too intimidated by Elle and Morgan, who just laughed at their attempts to impress you. It was borderline inappropriate, but you were too concerned with the victims and finding a serial killer to pay some officers and detectives you’ll never see again any attention.

Spencer noticed, though. And he couldn’t concentrate.

The detectives are dressed too well – by that, he means the suits and the Rolex watches are way above their paygrade – and they keep emphasising how good looking you and JJ are and how lucky the BAU is to have such dolls working on the team. What is this, the 40s? Who calls anyone doll anymore? And, yes, the team is very lucky to have you and JJ, but because you’re both great minds and wildly intelligent people that, yes, are also very gorgeous, but your looks aren’t all you have to offer, thank you very much.

There’s a detective approaching you, again, as you stand by the water cooler.

Spencer frantically looks around, trying to find a member of the team. “Morgan!” He weakly calls, because Spencer won’t scare him off. Maybe Morgan can chase them away like they’re stray cats, with his big muscles and scary eyebrows. Or Elle, who earlier merely lifted an eyebrow and the officers scattered like cockroaches.

All he catches of the conversation between you and the model/detective at the cooler is, “I appreciate it, but no thank you,” and that’s all he needs to hear.

He should’ve known someone would eventually make a move. You’ve said no, clearly, and Spencer doesn’t understand why. I mean, yes, he knows why – you have a prior engagement – but the detective… As much as he’s kind of a dick, he complements you better than Spencer does. Physically.

And there starts the spiral.

There must be something in the water, because every officer and detective and everyone in between is in peak physical condition with dashing looks to boot. They’re all straight out of a magazine, as if the popular kids from Spencer’s high school graduated and followed him here to remind him he is incredibly unworthy of you.

Spencer is lanky, unlike the broad men and curvaceous women here, and slicks his hair to the side rather than up like the others. He wears sweater vests, not blazers, and he’s so skinny that his trousers always look like hand-me-downs – nothing is fitted, like so many outfits are here.

They’re all everything Spencer is not. And Spencer is realising, quite quickly, that they’re the better ones – and that’s what you deserve. Better. The best.

It gets worse when they deliver the profile.

He finds his spot next to you, gives you a tight lipped smile, then looks at the outfits of his team compared to his own. Both Hotch and Morgan wear dark suits, well-proportioned and sophisticated in a way that Spencer is sure isn’t even in his calibre. Elle wears a deep green t-shirt, tucked into her tight black pants, and looks wonderfully intimidating with her double gun holster wrapped around her shoulders.

And you. You.

You wear a white shirt tucked into nicely tailored trousers, hair effortlessly styled with a pen tucked behind your ear. You all look like FBI agents. Intimidating. Prepared. Put-together.

Spencer… looks like he’s still in high school. He threatens no one, intimidates no one, and definitely does not make anyone feel inferior with his masculinity. He’s not an alpha male, is what he’s trying to say, and for each person he encounters in this wretched police department he feels himself shrinking.

So when they give the profile, he tries to say as little as possible. Tries to attract as little attention as possible, so when Hotch says his usual, “Thank you.” He can slip away unnoticed and hide from the superior beings.

It works, given everyone is too busy trying to save lives. Except you notice, and Spencer has to pretend he’s okay when you find him at the evidence board and tell him you’re excited for the date. He wants to believe you, truly does, but no matter how hard he digs into his brain to find a part of him that can fathom you see him as a better option than literally anyone else, it doesn’t exist.

You don’t seem to notice. He tells himself he’s glad, but there’s no denying the disappointment.

+++

Hotch calls it a night when the clock nears midnight. He says the team should get as much rest as possible and come in with fresh eyes tomorrow – despite this, the team knows most if not all of them will get little to no sleep, given that they’ll all be going over everything they’ve got so far in their hotel rooms.

You slink up to Spencer, a pep in your step even though you’re running on pure caffeine and nothing else. It’s then Spencer realises he has to do it now, because if he does it in the police department then he’ll be called unprofessional, but if he waits any longer than that he’ll be cutting too close and that’s a bad look.

“Y/N,” He says, coming to a stop before the elevators, allowing the rest of the team to head up. “I need to say something.”

You nod with a smile, covering a cute yawn when he takes a couple seconds to gather his thoughts.

You’re not sure what he’s gonna say, but you assume it’ll be to do with the date. Maybe a change of time, or a change of venue – he did mention the library café can get super busy on weekends – or, worst case scenario, the date will have to be postponed for whatever reason. And none are particularly bad, because you’re excited and just want to be with Spencer – it doesn’t matter if it’s not when he originally planned or where he originally planned.

But Spencer has always unwittingly been full of surprises.

“We can’t go on that date.”

Instantly you ask, “Why not?”

“Well-“ He seems caught off guard, like he wasn’t expecting you to question the sudden change of heart, “It’s complicated-“

“I’ve got time.”

“We should go to sleep-“

“Is it your mother?”

“No. No, it’s not.” Of course you look empathetic when you consider his mother might need him – a stab to the start. Add in the flicker of concern in your eyes – two stabs to the heart. “It’s not her. It’s- it’s nothing. Just, can we cancel?”

“And reschedule?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

The disappointment is clear on your face and makes Spencer feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to take it back. You’re not disappointed that you’re missing out on dating him, you’re frustrated that you’ve been building up to having plans on the weekend and they’ve suddenly been cancelled without reason. By Spencer, of all people. In a couple months’ time you’ll thank him, when you’re dating some bodybuilder who can grow a mean beard. You’ll thank him for not making you go on that date with him and forcing you to tell him you’re just not my type, Spence, and making everything awkward.

He can’t look at you. Maybe that’s why he misses the genuine sadness, the sudden glassiness of your eyes that humiliates you enough to make you angry. His words have ignited a fire in your chest that burns through your body like you’re made of gasoline, and you wish you could turn your thoughts off so you don’t start questioning how long he’s been wanting to reject you, if he even wanted to date you in the first place, how embarrassing it is to have been so openly eager when, apparently, he was very much not.

“I’m sorry.” He says, like it’ll do anything. He still can’t look at you and he feels like a coward.

“Yeah.” You sniffle.

He decides to take the stairs. You head for the bar, just for one drink.

+++

The following day, when an officer tries to talk to you, you blatantly ignore him. You tell him that unless it’s work-related, you’re really not interested, and word spreads quick that your pleasantries have died out and you’re not in the mood to tolerate creepy compliments.

There’s a permanent frown on your face that haunts Spencer the entire day. He knows exactly what’s going on – it’s his fault, after all – and he finds himself simultaneously avoiding you whilst witnessing your downcast mood.

Morgan starts investigating not long after you barely react to his terrible joke. He makes them for you, because you either choke on laughter or throw your pen at him, but this time it was like you weren’t even in the room. When Morgan poked you and asked if you heard him, your lacklustre reply was, “Hm? Yeah, good one.”

Morgan perches on the desk Spencer’s using. “You got any idea what’s going on with Y/N?”

“They’re mad at me.”

“You’re the reason they’re like this?”

Spencer doesn’t physically react, just says, as casually as possible, “Unless another person asked them on a date then cancelled without reason, then yes. It’s my fault.”

There’s no point in lying. Especially to Derek. Spencer doesn’t know how you’ll go about explaining your sudden poor mood, if you’ll curse his very existence or lie about it, but Spencer’s never been a good liar and the sooner everyone knows it’s his fault and he sucks, the better.

Morgan leans forward, attempting to make eye contact with the doctor who very much does not want to. “There’s a story there.”

“Obviously.”

“…You wanna go ahead and explain it?”

“Not really.”

“Alright,” Derek shrugs, “You stir in your sadness and continue being a sourpuss, I’ll go check up on Y/N and find out what really happened.”

Derek’s barely moved off the table when Spencer stops him, voice small like a child, “Wait, Morgan, I-“

You walk past then, too focused on a suspect list faxed in by Garcia to pay attention to anyone else. Spencer’s eyes follow you the whole time, and the look in Spencer’s twinkling eyes make Morgan slump back onto the table in realisation.

“Why’d you cancel, Reid?”

“I had to.”

“You had other plans?”

Spencer chews his bottom lip. “No. But I… I couldn’t take them on a date.”

Derek waits for him to elaborate.

“Have you seen the kind of guys hitting on them?” Spencer asks, scooting his chair closer so no one can eavesdrop. “They’re all… They’re- they’re like you, Morgan. All cool and put-together and actually look their age, for one, and I’m not that. I could never be that – and that’s what Y/N wants-“

“Have you asked them that?”

“No. But I’m a profiler, in case you forgot, and I think it makes sense that these big-shouldered, super muscly guys are all over-“

“But you haven’t actually asked them what they want.”

“No.” Spencer sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“That’s your first, and most vital, mistake, my man.”

Spencer purses his lips, catching you watching him over Derek’s shoulder. You immediately look away, shooting off to the evidence room as an escape, and Spencer’s cheeks burn with guilt and embarrassment.

He can’t believe he thought he had a chance with you.

“I feel like this should be obvious, Genius, but Y/N said yes to a date with you, then turned down every offer that came from someone that wasn’t you-“

“That’s because they already made plans with me and they’d feel terrible if they had to cancel for another, better offer. I made it easier for them.”

Derek gives him such an incredulous look Spencer wonders if he should burn his PhDs. “Are you serious?”

The crestfallen expression on Spencer’s face is enough of an answer.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“C’mon,” Derek tugs Spencer up from his chair. “I need to show your dumb ass something.”

All that’s missing is classic spy music when Derek and Spencer sneak into the conference room the BAU is using. Only Hotch is in there, scribbling something down, barely glancing up when the two agents creep in like they’re on a mission.

Spencer doesn’t say anything until Derek reaches for your bag. “Whoa- Morgan-“

“Relax.”

Spencer just stares, brows halfway down his face, and watches silently.

“That’s they’re journal, Morgan, you can’t just read it-“

“It’s not, pretty boy.”

Hotch watches the interaction, mildly confused, then nods to himself when he realises what Morgan’s holding.

Morgan splays the journal on the table in front of them, flipping through pages with precision like it’s his notebook and not yours. When he lands on his desired page, it’s slid towards Spencer.

He reads it.

The Doctor Spencer Reid cheat sheet. (Because I do not have an eidetic memory and feel bad whenever I forget something he tells me)

He’s too stumped by the words cheat sheet to look further, so Derek does it for him, flipping to the next page where very basic information about Spencer sits – full name, date of birth, hometown. As he looks to the page next to it, he realises it’s full of his favourite things – favourite coffee, favourite candy (which has multiple answers, by the way), even favourite pair of socks. Like a switch has been flipped, Spencer comes to life, frantically switching between pages that are overflowing with facts and tidbits about him, from his favourite monologue from his favourite film to his favourite shelf in his apartment. All things he’s told you either in passing or when he’s confided in you at random times, you’ve taken note. You’ve listened, and for some reason you’ve written it all down so you’d never forget.

“What…What is this?”

“It’s everything there is to know about you, Reid.” Derek watches as Spencer slips through the rest of the book, filled with random to-do lists and phone numbers of various people, looking for the same information about the rest of the team. “There’s only one for you, you know. And if you ask me it’s a little creepy, but it’s saved our asses when it’s come to buying gifts for you a good few times.” He slaps a hand on his friend’s shoulder, smirking at how Spencer’s awe-filled eyes never leave the pages before him. “They care about you a lot, Reid. More than you think. So…”

“I need to talk to them.”

“Yes, idiot, you do.”

+++

That night, Elle and Derek invite you to join them for some drinks at the bar, promising they won’t let it escalate to arm wrestling and childish bets like they always do. Even though they make a compelling argument, add on that you’re stressed and upset and really, really want to forget emotions exist more than anything else, you’re half tempted to accept and lose yourself in some cocktails.

Then you spot Spencer talking in hushed tones with Gideon and everything comes flooding back. So you tell Elle to have a drink for you, please don’t make a ruckus when she gets back to your shared room, and bid them adieu.

In your room, you distract yourself by renting one of your favourite movies. It’s overpriced, and a part of you wants to look over the case files again, but being sad and burnt out won’t lead to any good outcomes.

It’s a futile attempt at switching your brain off so you don’t have to think about how excited you were for the date. You’ve had twenty-four hours to get over it, but every time you see him you’re thrown back into the bitterness you feel – bitter that you fooled yourself into thinking it’d work out, bitter that your hopes were so high, bitter that you let your feelings for Spencer become such a big part of your life.

You’re lying on your scratchy hotel bed, thinking about Spencer and how he’s going to be complaining to Morgan about said scratchy beds, when there’s a knock at your door.

Naturally, you assume its Elle. She reminds you so much of your older sister who used to slide you some money so you’d stay up late into the night and quietly let her back into the house after she’s sneaked off to go to a party – except Elle is probably swaying outside your hotel room after losing her keycard rather than swaying on your doorstep.

So when you open the door, teasing quip ready, you legitimately choke when you’re faced with a fidgety Spencer Reid.

He tries to ignore how the way your face drops when you realise it’s him feels like a punch to the gut.

“Hey-“

“No.”

“Oh.”

“You-what-“ He’s never seen you so flustered. “Are you lost?”

Just in case, Spencer leans back to check the number beside your door is in fact 208. It is, and he turns back to you, “Please don’t slam the door in my face.”

It slips out. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise your pretty face.”

You’re humiliated that he has this effect on you, the ability to obliterate all your filters and common sense just by existing. But the look on his face alleviates the want to jump out of the window – his mouth opens, twitching into the smallest, most bashful smile before it falls and morphs back into disbelief. You just… You just called his face pretty, a word that makes some feel emasculated but no, never with you. You compliment people and mean it, which makes Spencer’s guilt worsen and the urge to tell you he loves you with his entire heart more intense.

You speak at the same time.

“Why are you-“

“I wanted to-“

You roll your lips together, holding back a smile, and nod for him to go on. He does the same, so you shake your head with a, “I was just asking why you’re here.”

He holds up a finger, signalling one moment, and opens his satchel to start rummaging in it. “I know this is a complete invasion of privacy, and theft, really, but Morgan showed me it and I just- Why do you have this?”

You gasp.

In his hand is the journal you’ve been working on since a month into your employment at the BAU. The gifted notebook was initially used to jot down any bits of advice your superiors gave you (on your first day, Elle gave you a list she lovingly titled “If I wasn’t an FBI agent I’d sock these people in the mouths”) but, before you knew it, it had an entirely different purpose.

It started when you witnessed Derek stumble when asked Spencer’s favourite colour, to which he said no one remembers stuff like that! Aptly followed by Spencer reeling off everyone’s preferred colours (even delving into second favourites and favoured colour schemes) and you realised then that… Spencer’s whole life, he’s remembered so much about the people around him and very rarely have they returned the favour. So, in an attempt to build friendship and because you had the fattest crush on him already, you started the Spencer Reid cheat sheet.

You didn’t think he’d ever see it, even if it’s always used by the team on various occasions. It was the team’s little secret, bar Spencer, that assisted in nearly every decision made on Spencer’s behalf – what to order from restaurants, drinks, birthday and holiday gifts, how to comfort him when he’s stressed or upset.

The responses vary. Derek thinks it’s weird, as did Elle at first, but JJ and Garcia insist its sweet and, really, no matter what they think they’ve all come running to you when time has called for it.

“How… Did you steal it?”

“Yes,” He tells you, guiltily, “I had to read it – it’s incredibly accurate, by the way.”

You don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

“So… Why?”

“I don’t know,” You say, a bold-faced lie and Spencer can tell, but he lets you continue, “You remember everything about everyone else, so I wanted to… do the same for you, I guess.”

“I have an eidetic memory.”

You airily laugh – does he think you forgot that? “I know that. Doesn’t it get tiring recalling all this information about your friends and not having it reciprocated?”

He clicks his tongue at that, eyes falling back to the notebook in his hands that he fiddles with while he thinks. It is tiring, he supposes, but that’s how it’s always been. He remembers everything, the people around him just… don’t. He realised at a young age that he’ll often have to remind himself that friendship isn’t measured by what they remember, but by other ways – like this. You, with your unassuming journal that is full of things Spencer assumed no one would ever care to remember.

You, with your tensed jaw and fluttering eyes because you’re embarrassed.

You, who’s done quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him, and it’s been happening for years right under his nose.

You, who he cancelled a date with because he was so sure you were dating him out of pity, out of obligation after he asked and you felt forced to say yes, but now he realises you care about him just as much as he cares for you.

Touched feels like an understatement.

“Y/N…”

“If you find it weird, I’ll burn it the second we get home. Pretend it never happened, we can… discuss a restraining order if we must-“

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Oh.”

He smiles at you, hands tight on the book in his hands, smiles so big that his eyes crinkle and his teeth show and he looks gorgeous. It tugs directly on your heart strings and just for a second you forget that he cancelled your date, forget that you’ve been pining for years, and bask in the warmth that radiates from him.

“This is… Insane, really.” He laughs, “But also so… so cool. I don’t deserve this, at all, and to think we could’ve gone on a date but I chickened out-“

“What?”

He shrugs with faux-nonchalance. “The-um- the reason I took back the date was because I think you deserve so much better than me. In a, you deserve someone like all the police officers down at the PD, kind of way. I don’t want a pity date-“

You scoff, then with an indignant, “Come in here,” You grab Spencer’s satchel and tug him into your hotel room, closing the door with a forceful push as he turns to face you.

With your hands on your hips, you stare him down with furrowed brows and a look that screams really? “Is that really what you think, Spence? It was a pity date?”

“Well, yeah,” He tells you. The conviction in his voice is so strong that, if you weren’t this riled up, you’d probably tear up at how sure he sounds.

You give another scoff. “Not only am I offended you think I’d do that to anyone, but I’m also mad that you don’t see how I look at you! Spencer, I’ve been into you since I started working here-“ His mouth falls open. You’re exasperated. “-and the notes were a way to get to know you, yes, but they were also because I couldn’t stop watching you and had to play it off like I was doing it for a reason. You’re my favourite, Spencer.”

His heart aches a little, full of such a tenderness he’s never quite felt before. He feels loved, and so, so touched that someone would put so much effort into getting to know him and… years. Literal years you’ve liked him, and he’s been blind to it.

“I like you a lot.” You’re breathless after your little speech, “And if you still don’t want that date, that’s okay. But I like you, Spence, I really like you.”

Your gaze never wavers. Spencer wants to scoop you up and place kisses all over. For the first time in a while, he feels worthy. Like what you’re saying isn’t being said for the sake of it, because you’re his friend and you have to support him, but because it’s what you genuinely think and feel and Spencer might be in love.

He swallows deeply before speaking.

“I really like you, too, Y/N. And I’m-I’m sorry that I cancelled the date and- I should’ve talked to you, maybe, before doing it, but… We’re here now, right?”

“You want to have a date right now?”

Thumbing through the book, he says, “Actually, there’s some blanks in here I’d like to fill, if you’re not busy…”

You’re very clearly on board with the suggestion, basically skipping to your bed, plopping down and patting the space beside you with a grin. “I’m not busy at all, Doctor Reid. Tell me everything I don’t already know.”

So he does, thigh pressed against yours and blush on his cheeks when you let your head fall onto his shoulder.

The night is spent giggling over the most random information you’ve gathered, correcting only one mistake (his favourite socks change every week, not your fault), and adding onto the already plentiful fact file.

And the date that weekend happens, ending in a sweet kiss on your doorstep that leaves you both with shy smiles and thundering hearts.

It’s the first date of many, followed by the creation of a new journal full of all there is to know about your and Spencer’s relationship.

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @chiffonchronicles @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @jasongideonapologist @gublertoon @averyhotchner

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Omega angst???

Omega angst 😌

• It was Katsukis fault really

• well- sorta

• you already had the fear of being too overbearing and because of that you held most people at an arms length

• and you fought yourself so hard

• you desperately wanted to be comfortable in front of your friends- your pack- you wanted to proceed with your semi clingy antics and stupid bullshit you did with those you really trusted.

• But you didn't want them to leave- you didn't want to be called clingy, or crazy, or dependent.

• So you kept that arms length- for a really long time.

• your 'omega' rarely showed

• but the inevitable happened and you DID get comfortable.

• and new territory came with that.

• you were more open, you were more affectionate, you didn't particularly mind when your 'omega' showed itself- the Alphas, omegas, and Betas in your group didn't seem to particularly mind either.

• your fear lingered- sure- sometimes someone acted 'wrong' and you got scared you did something, you panic quietly and deal with it yourself or ask for quiet reassurance

• and they learned how to deal with it efficiently soon enough

• But then it happened.

• You just wanted attention

• You weren't having the best day and you just wanted someone to hug

• and Katsuki was there

• So you hugged him from behind and he seemed fine with that

• until he had to move

• but you weren't ready to let go- not yet. You needed to calm down, you didn't want to let go.

• He grumbles something and gently moves you off, "You're such a clingy fucking omega." He picks up his phone from the counter.

"Oh. Sorry," you give him a sheepish smile- one thats definitely fake, but it convinces him.

"If I'd known you were so damn needy.." he mumbles to himself as he walks out if the kitchen.

• He didn't mean it of course, you shoukd've known. He had somewhere to go. And you wouldn't let him go.

• but he made no effort to clarify that afterwards- not that you told him it bothered you, how would he know?

• but you were in your head- already having been struggling with the fact that maybe you /were/ too much- just like you'd been told your whole life

• You should've kept them at an arms length.

• You kinda shut down after that

• and they took notice almost immediately

• and it fucking scared them when you started to pull away.

• You rejected scenting, hugs, compliments and voices concerns

• it was stressing Denki out too- the groups second omega who heavily relied on your affection.

• He relied on the way you held him, how you scented him and how you kissed his cheeks

• He relied on the way you ran your thumbs across his cheekbones and counted his freckles

• he relied on your smell-

• and now he didn't have it. Any of it.

• But what really scared them was two weeks later, when your heat approached and you hadn't asked for any of their things

• they'd known you for years- and you always asked for at LEAST one thing from each member

• and you usually wore someones jacket until it hit

• but you hadn't asked for a single damn thing. And you wore a jacket- your own and you refused to let anyone scent it.

• Kirishima had tried- and you were temptedn so fucking temoted to give in. God thats all you really wanted, your friends things- their scents- their noses rubbing along your neck

• but Katsukis words rang through your head again, 'clingy omega,' and that was something you didn't want to be

• so after slightly leaning into the redhead you snapped at him, shoving him off and stroming out of the room.

• they send mina next- well- she goes on her own accord.

• You tell her nothing.

• Then, Denki decides to step in. He misses you- he misses you so much and he can't figure out why you pulled away. You smell different now- not like you usually do. Theres a bitter undertone that never fails to make him wrinkle his nose

• "I mean- do you want anything..? Some shirts, jackets maybe?"

"I don't need them." You say.

"Oh do you already have some?"

"No, I'm not building a nest for this heat."

His eyes widen. "You're- what? Why not?"

"I don't need it. I don't need the groups clothes or help to take care of my stuff. I'll be okay," you give him a soft smile

• When Denki see's the group that night- he immediately goes for Bakugou, grabbing his shirt and shoving him back. "What did you do?" He growls. "What did you fucking say!"

"Hey hey, Kaminari, calm down. Whats going on?"

"She said she's not building a nest. She said she doesn't need us when it comes to her problems." His gaze never left Katsuki. "We worked hard to make her feel okay with us- what did you fucking say!"

Mina and Sero were quiet, eyes training on the blonde.

"I mean I called her clingy awhile ago- but I thought she knew I wasn't being serious, she never said anything to me afterwards so it must not have been a big deal-"

"Not a big deal? You know how paranoid she is!"

"Has she already left?"

Denki nodded. "Fix it."

He smelled sour now, bitter overtook the room- even Sero was affected by it, and the beta was rarely affected by smell.

• That heat was absolute hell for you

• You had no comfort

• You just writhed in your own discomfort- slick pooling down your thighs

• The toys you had brought some comfort- but that was it.

• You didn't have Kirishimas hoodie or Bakugous Favorite shirt.

• Seros jacket or Minas tank top.

• Denkis favorite pair of PJ bottoms, you were alone.

• You had this Heat Buddy that Denki got you, it was a teddy bear and stored scent packets- ones that would he comforting to omegas but it wasn't nearly the same, you decided as you buried your face into the cloth animals stomach

• Youre omega screamed and clawed and cried of the lack of comfort. No familiar smells, no pieces, no staying in touch- no help.

• Your omega kept you on edge the entire week if your heat, not once letting you rest.

• That heat took everything out of you, all your strength, energy, motivation- you almost felt worse coming out of it than you did going in

• Probably had something to do with the lack of comfort, the lack of smell and submission.

• But when you return, you look exhausted and everyone takes notes of it

• They can smell you through the scent patches and its not pleasant.

• You're snappy, on edge and irritable. Constantly on the verge of tears the whole day and /extremely/ protective of yourself.

• Bakusquad is waiting in your fucking dorm room when you get up there

• You don't even have the energy to snarl at them- you just whine.

• Your pack is in the room- and they smell so nice, but they're worried. So so worried.

• The tears threaten to spill over and you drop your keys

• You don't hear exactly whats said, you just know you're sinking to the floor the next minute, head in your hands.

• You're crying and arms wrap around you, ones you immediately recognize to be Katsuki

• You lean into him, apologizing weakly. You didn't mean to be a shitty Omega, you didn't mean to be clingy, you didn't mean it.

• he moves a hand to your cheek.

"It's okay," he murmurs. "You're okay. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, as shouldn't have been so harsh. You're not really clingy,"

"I should've told you it bothered me. Don't apologize."

"No, im definitely in the position too."

• Once you've calmed down, you look half asleep. Katsuki softly noses at your neck and youre more than content with it, finally, /finally/ giving into your omega urges.

• Katsuki carries you do the bed, and your pack surrounds you, smiling gently when he touch you.

• Denki lays his head on your shoulder and you gently rake a hand through his hair before returning it to Seros hand.

• Mina nuzzles your neck, your scent patches long gone

• Kirishima is gently rubbing circles into your wrist before he rubs his own wrist against yours.

• Soon you're asleep, mouth slightly parted, head leaning against Denki, back against Katsukis chest

• Theyre thankful it worked out

• You start wearing their hoodies again. You snuggle into their blankets, you fall asleep in their rooms

• And come your next heat, you're ruffling through draws to find/exactly/ what you want for your nest

• And they let you.

[violetnotez]

Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed 

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught 

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind 

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building  🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[ectonurites]

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

[vivithefolle]

I just wanna ask, and don’t get mad at me cause I’m genuinely curious, how do you stan Ron? Like, I like him, but he is definitely misogynistic (slut shaming Ginny, treating hermione like she owes him something and being mad that she kissed someone years before, always objectifying Fleur, and acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much). Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

how do you stan Ron? 

Like this:

OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DID YOU SEE MY BABY OH MY GOD. WHEN HARRY’S ARM HAD GONE KABLOOIE BECAUSE OF LOCKHART AND HE. RON. HE WAS. HELPING HIM GET DRESSED???? OH MY GOD BABY???? HHHHNNNNGGGG. AND. AND. AND ALSO WHEN HE. OMG. WHEN HE WAS PUTTING FOOD ON HIS FRIENDS’ PLATES LIKE. MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT. AND THE WAY HE’S ALWAYS BLUSHING AND BEING EMBARRASSED AT THE SLIGHTEST PRAISE BUT ALSO HE’S SO DESPERATELY SEEKING IT BUT HE KNOWS HE CAN’T TAKE IT AND EEK EEK EEK THAT’S SO CUTE SOMEONE HOLD ME IT’S ADORABLE RONALD WEASLEY YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME IT’S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!

Ok and then.

he is definitely misogynistic 

No. And here’s why.

slut shaming Ginny 

Yes, that was wrong. And guess what, that’s also something he probably - scratch that, definitely - picked up from his mother. And also his brothers, recall how Fred and George too don’t like to see Ginny go around with boys. There’s also something to recall: Ron was there when Ginny was taken into the Chamber of Secrets and learned later that it was because she had trusted an older guy. You seriously wouldn’t be paranoid about who your sister dates after that? It was wrong. Yeah. And he more than learned his lesson when Ginny clapped back by virgin-shaming him and basically told him that he was childish because he hadn’t have a relationship yet. So would that make Ginny sexist too? Or is it just for Ron?

treating hermione like she owes him something 

..................... uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh... when? When the fuck did anything like that happen?

He made a prat of himself at the Yule Ball, that much is obvious. But he didn’t tell her anything like “you should be with me” or didn’t insinuate anything of the sort. He was a jealous bitch but kept attacking Krum, not Hermione.

If you mean in sixth year when he treated her with “icy, sneering indifference” for the course of two weeks, yeah that was bad but that’s not “treating her like she owes him something”, the fuck?

being mad that she kissed someone years before 

Yeah. I know. And that was bad, ooooh you got me to admit Ron did bad stuff, that’s what you want to see, right? And I reckon he was also mad that she hid it from him, and that he had to learn it from his sister of all people. We see Ron handles what he considers betrayals terribly. I have some meta discussing the possibility that he has a form of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

always objectifying Fleur 

Um... no, he doesn’t. He makes a stupid comment about her once in GOF then stops. Let’s also fucking remember that Fleur is a Veela, she literally makes guys stare at her as part of her powers!! I’m not blaming her because she’s literally born that way, but you can’t blame someone who is under magical compulsion either.

acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much 

So tell me why he was friends with Hermione then?

Because Hermione wasn’t Emma Watson the super hawt sexy model goddess. Hermione was Mrs Generic. Until this once at the Yule Ball when she got the pretty princess perfect Mary Sue makeover but then stopped because she had to remain ~relatable uwu~.

Again. Ron made stupid sexist comments. But it’s actively shown that he doesn’t follow up on them. If he did indeed live by the motto “girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much”, explain to me why he wasn’t simping and drooling all over Padma Patil who is explicitly stated to be one of the prettiest girls at school when she was his date? Why exactly did he ignore her and was a miserable twat the whole evening instead of basking in the joy of having snagging a girl that was “worth it”? Well surprise, it’s because HE ACTUALLY ISN’T LIKE THAT AND WHAT HE SAYS IS MAYBE SHIT HIS “COOL OLDER BROTHERS” SAY AND HE THINKS THAT BY EXTENSION IT WOULD MAKE HIM COOL TO REPEAT IT. MIMETISM, THAT'S BASIC FUCKING HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY FOR FUCKING TODDLERS MY FUCKING GOD.

Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, 

............

...................................

...............................................................

so. so why. so why wouldn’t you. use that. as a reason. to stan him.

like.

fuck all the “hurr durr ron weasley the boy who made it out of the friendzone!!!!” bullshit, let’s start going with “Ron Weasley, the Boy who became a Man, and not one of those 'uugghh im such an alpha male’ ones but one that’s got the balls to say ‘hey love, I’ve got an idea, what if you kept doing that job you love and feel passionate about while I support you and do the majority of the childcare while also working a smaller job on the side so we’re never short on money’“

Why you people gotta be “yeah I like Ron BUTT” when you know full-well this fucking awful fandom will rake him over hot coals over the slightest mistake he does - worse, will actively go out of their way to interpret his positive moments in the most negative way possible??? Fuck off with that bullshit. Ron dared to say bad stuff omygah big deal, he was forgiven for it all and you’re just all cowards looking to feel “pure” by telling yourself “oh yeah but he was problematic once uwu”. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.

but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO 

And IMO he’s not, funny how that works

So.

I guess it’s impossible to stan Ron because he was problematic uwu.

Ok.

Then I hereby decree that it’s impossible to stan Hermione Granger because:

“I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t given up Divination now, don’t you, Hermione?” asked Parvati, smirking. [...] “Not  really,”  said  Hermione  indifferently,  who  was  reading  the  Daily Prophet. “I’ve never really liked horses.” She turned a page of the newspaper, scanning its columns. “He’s not a horse, he’s a centaur!” said Lavender, sounding shocked. “A gorgeous centaur . . .” sighed Parvati. “Either  way,  he’s  still  got  four  legs,”  said  Hermione  coolly.  “Any-way, I thought you two were all upset that Trelawney had gone?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 27

wow casual use of a racial slur yay!!! A+

And it’s also forbidden to stan Harry Potter either since:

It was raining hard now, and she was nowhere to be seen. He simply did not understand what had happened; half an hour ago they had been getting along fine. “Women!”  he  muttered  angrily,  sloshing  down  the  rain-washed  street with his hands in his pockets. “What did she want to talk about Cedric  for  anyway?  Why  does  she  always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 25

and

“Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!”  “What’s  happened  to  you?”  asked  Harry,  for  Hermione  looked  distinctly  disheveled,  rather  as  though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil’s Snare.  “Oh,  I’ve  just  escaped  —  I  mean,  I’ve  just  left  Cormac,”  she  said.  “Under  the  mistletoe,”  she  added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her.  “Serves you right for coming with him,” he told her severely.  “I thought he’d annoy Ron most,” said Hermione dispassionately. “I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole —”  “You considered Smith?” said Harry, revoked. - Half-Blood Prince

Victim-blaming! Nice Harry, nice. Always classy.

Ok, Ginny stanning is already cancelled because she virgin-shamed Ron, right, so who’s left, who’s left... ah yeah:

“There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” - Half-Blood Prince

Selling date rape drugs proudly ouh là là. Bye Fred.

"Do they work?” she asked.  “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question...”  “...and the attractiveness of the girl,” said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. “But we’re not  selling  them  to  our  sister,”  he  added,  becoming  suddenly  stern,  “not  when  she’s  already  got  about five boys on the go from what we’ve...”  “Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie,” said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf.

Assuming that only girls use love potions, and only on boys. Men never rape in JKR’s world, only women do, you heard it from George Weasley here folks, I’m just passing on the message. Ah and I hope you’re also starting the Fred And George Hate Club given how he’s also slut-shaming Ginny.

“What’s this?”  “Guaranteed  ten-second  pimple  vanisher,”  said  Fred.  “Excellent  on  everything  from  boils  to  blackheads,  but  don’t  change  the  subject.  Are  you  or  are  you  not  currently  going  out  with  a  boy  called Dean Thomas?” “Yes, I am,” said Ginny. “And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?”  She  was  pointing  at  a  number  of  round  balls  of  fluff  in  shades  of  pink  and  purple,  all  rolling  around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks.  “Pygmy  Puffs,”  said  George.  “Miniature  puffskeins,  we  can’t  breed  them  fast  enough.  So  what  about Michael Corner?”  “I  dumped  him,  he  was  a  bad  loser,”  said  Ginny,  putting  a  finger  through  the  bars  of  the  cage  and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it. “They’re really cute!”  “They’re  fairly  cuddly,  yes,”  conceded  Fred.  “But  you’re  moving  through  boyfriends  a  bit  fast,  aren’t you?”  Ginny turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. There was such a Mrs. Weasley-ish glare on her face that Harry was surprised Fred didn’t recoil.  “It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you” she added angrily to Ron, who had just appeared at George’s elbow, laden with merchandise, “not to tell tales about me to these two!”

Ah, good on you for defending yourself, Ginny, but remember, Ginny stanning is prohibited because she’s been problematic in the past and is gonna be problematic in the future and that’s baaaaaaad. Careful kids, don’t get ideas. It’s problematic to like people who’ve done problematic things.

So I guess nobody can like anything or anyone now. Sorry guys. Liking things is evil, what if the thing you liked had, OR USED TO HAVE, *gasp* flaws, can’t take that risk, ohmygah.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[hajimesh]

prompt list

(angst, soft, smut & random)

[ angsty prompts ]

1. “do you ever mean the things you say?”

2. “come back to me.”

3. “you really are an awful person.”

4. “you need to leave.”

5. “there was never an us.”

6. “i fucked up.”

7. “i’m so, so sorry.”

8. “leave me alone.”

9. “you’re not leaving, are you?”

10. “please look at me.”

11. “is s/he really just a friend?”

12. “i’m sorry but i don’t feel the same way.”

13. “did you think i wouldn’t find out?”

14. “do you even care anymore?”

15. “you don’t really think i’m getting annoying, do you?”

16. “as the saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”

17. “he wanted to take a break, but that meant it was all over.”

18. “she kept it to herself. she didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her.”

19. “i knew it was too good to be true.”

20. “you can’t let him get away with it this time.”

21. “i can’t hide the way i feel about you anymore.”

22. “he’s so paranoid, i can’t do anything by myself anymore.”

23. “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

24. “every song reminds me of you.”

25. “i can’t stand seeing you like this.”

26. “don’t shut me out.”

27. “just promise to never lie to me, okay?”

28. “somethings are just better as memories.”

[ soft prompts ]

1. “you look exhausted, come here”

2. “not everyone is going to hurt you.”

3. “can i hug you?”

4. “you know i have feelings for you.”

5. “i wish you were here.”

6. “it’s too cold! come back!”

7. “monsters inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”

8. “i’m not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.”

9. “just pretend to be my date.”

10. “i didn’t get soaked wet walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. i have beer too. i know you’re sad, so let me in.”

11. “your cuteness is making everyone stare. stop it.”

12. “you make me proud. you know that, right?”

13. “you’re so damn beautiful, baby. i can’t believe you’re all fucking mine.”

14. “i know you’re mad at me but will a kiss change your mind?”

15. “god, i miss you so much.”

16. “i’m only doing it because you’re cute.”

17. “even when you’re annoying the fuck out of me, i still love you.”

18. "i love you even when you're sleepless and frustrated."

19. “can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

20. “you’re so clingy, i love it.”

21. “you’re cute when you’re all worried.”

22. “can i do your hair?”

23. “why do you only kiss me when i’m sleeping?”

24. “nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.”

25. “excuse me for falling in love with you.”

26. “i’m sorry, but that was adorable.”

27. “i’m glad you’re mine.”

[ smutty prompts ]

1. “what? does that feel good?”

2. “c’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

3. “did i stutter?”

4. “the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

5. “just let me finish this/this level and i swear i’ll go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

6. “i’d hold onto something if i were you.”

7. “try not to ruin your manicure when you dig those nails into my back.”

8. “i’m going to remeber this moment when i’m jerking off later.”

9. “you’re too flexible for your own good.”

10. “let’s fuck in the shower so it feels like we’re kissing in the rain.”

11. “if you keep fucking me this good, i’ll marry you.”

12. “we’re the sexiest couple i’ve ever seen.”

13. “you’re the reason i smile so wide and come so hard.”

14. “could he make you feel as good as i do?”

15. “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

16. “is that a gun on your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

17. “god damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

18. “if i have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

19. “it’s not polite to stare, but i understand.”

20. “i love how your body loses control when you cum.”

21. “i’m bored. come over and sit on my dick.”

22. “why did you wear underwear, when you know im going to tear it off anyway?”

23. “im going to be late because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

24. “can i at least take my shoes off before u pounce at me?”

25. “no, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

26. “would you prefer my tongue or my cock?”

27. “dammit, we made a mess.”

28. “were you dreaming about me again?”

29. “well good morning to you too.”

[ random prompts ]

1. “have i entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

2. “let’s be annoyingly cute.”

3. “in this exact moment, i love my bed more than you.”

4. “grab my ass one more time and see what happens.”

5. “would you still date me if i dressed up as a cow for halloween?”

6. “these are not regular brownies!”

7. “he hates me. everytime i speak, he looks at me like i’m stupid.”

8. “i’m too sober for this.”

9. “the ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

10. “good thing i didn’t ask for your opinion.”

11. “why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

12. “you work for me. you are my slave.”

13. “just smile, i really need to see you smile right now.”

14. “i had a bad dream again.”

15. “it’s a zombie, not an alien. know the difference.”

16. “you’re so cute when you’re upset.”

17. “waffles or pancakes? or wine? oh..or beer?”

18. “it’s almost midnight and you haven’t said anything cute at all.”

19. “do you always look at me like that?”

20. “what would you do if you never met me?”

21. “i should've stayed in bed.”

22. “picnics are for losers.”

23. “bed. now.”

24. “are you asking me out?”

25. “i may be an idiot, but i’m not stupid.”

26. “i just like proving you wrong.”

27. “we’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

28. “you know you want it, sweetheart.”

29. “you got a cute butt.”

30. “...or we can chill in our underwear.”

31. “he’s pampering me, let him be.”

32. “don’t touch me. we’re fighting.”

33. “i’ll give you a massage.”

34. “hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

35. “it’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!”

36. “you know when your phone buzzes, it means i’m trying to talk to you, right?”

37. “when’s that last time we went on a date?”

38. “i thought you didn’t like cats?”

39. “i had a dream about you.”

40. “pick up lines only work when i’m drunk.”

41. “but, i said i love you.”

42. “we could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.”

43. “you’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?”

44. “…or we could make out….”

45. “i warned you. he warned you. your freaking mom warned you.”

46. “sit still, for the love of all that is holy.”

47. “can you be romantic for once?”

48. “you don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.”

49. “are you high?”

50. “ew ew ew. you’re so gross.”

51. “step aside and watch a pro.”

52. “i’m a lucky girl. i’ll admit that.”