#i feel like this wouldve been better as an anime than a live action but im thankful for what i got 😔🤞🏻 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vero-niche · 1 year ago

Note

UNSURPRISING AND BORING??? HAZUGSÁG! TELL ME ABOUT IT ACTUALLY!!!

(context: this ask was sent by my dear mutual after i reblogged a post about what my special interest is, which is films and filmmaking that i called those things)

fjhfjvhnfkc im so sorry for not replying to this sooner, it's been haunting me since that day bc first i was like "i will answer from desktop bc this is gonna be a long one" and then... i didnt. anyway, im just gonna start rambling and hit post at some point when i run out of steam, enjoy 💞

edit: whoops better put All That under a read more lmao

note: by movie/film i also mean animation, tv shows, anime, etc

so, it all started when i was little.... we were living mostly in a small village in northern hungary, no access to cinemas or such but my dad started working at a tv station in the capital when i was like... idk. small

anyway, he had access to The Internet and pirated movies and brough home burned VHS tapes.... i loved fiction ever since i remember and movies were no different. saw a lot of disney and other stuff, mum says i rewatched a lot of them a lot of times.... as an undiagnosed adhd+autism kid these movies were my main source of obsession.

as many in my generation, i grew to love reading a bit later after i saw the first h*rry p*tter movie and read the book but even then and ever since as well my imagination works kinda like a movie. i imagine certain shots and angles, even tho for the most part my imagination is as fuzzy as my thoughts.

also on the part of the audhd, i was basically self medicating with movies. stressed? watch a movie. sensory overload? movie (or later on, music). feeling shit? movie. it kind of works like a factory reset of my brain if the film is good. i guess because for 1,5-2,5 hours i am completely focused on one thing in a way thats not exhausting to me.

during elementary, i was in a friend group that i got in because we were in the same not school related drawing group (rajzszakkör yknow) and basically all 4 of us were a bit too neurodivergent there i think 😄 anyway, somehow when i first got a phone with camera, we started doing little "sketches" (and me with my then best friend separately too). then two of those friends came up with a short movie idea, a mockumentary about the iconic "twin towers" of the town we lived in (and hated). the 4 of us filmed and played all parts, right there in the city, and one of us edited it. it turned out quite.... well, like a shitpost lmao. so, naturally, we got quite hooked but esp me and one other friend (who is now an acclaimed theatre director btw. lol)

anyway, so we did several of these short movies + i did several sketches and other stuff with all kinds of friends in the coming years, all through about mid-high school years...

for several reasons, despite it being the obvious choice, i didnt end up going to film major at uni but chose english studies. i don't regret it, but my place wouldve been at the film major tbh....

anyway, i decided to give up my filmmaking dreams... but yknow, special interests dont wotk that way lmao.

i kept watching movies with a critical mind, such as "oh this shot is good" or "this shot is too long, they should've cut it a few seconds earlier" or "oh, they are using xy technique here" and once you start looking at movies from a filmmaker point of view, theres just no turning back (or off). i think i majorly watch anime in my spare time now bc i analyze what i see less than with live action stuff.

so like. idk what my point here is. i listen to soundtracks of movies i loved, not just the ones with lyrics but the background music too. i love rewatching and dissecting parts. after seeing a new one that i loved i headstraight to imdb to the crew and trivia section, i watch/read interviews, check box office numbers even and stare in awe when they show a special technique or smg they used.

and i mainly always thought "well i just have a passion for it but its nothing that outstanding, right? people look these stuff up when then love smg, right?" well. 😶

then not too long ago i realized im not only adhd but autistic as well. and that the reason why this passion (and need to be involved in the making) never really left, even when i myself gave up on it, is bc its my special interest.

so now im slowly approaching crossroads bc on the one hand i have a stable corporate job with good routines at home. but on the other if i dont "give in" to my special interest i feel my soul will wither. but also im sososcared 👍

in summary:

#ask #mutuals #if you got this far in reading... ily + im sorry + i am bonking you on the shoulder lovingly #and this is only a mere fraction of what goes on inside my g #*head #but my thumb is sore and i keep tapping the wrong keys so. imma stop

3 notes · View notes

rainsoftenings · 8 months ago

Note

19, 21, and/or 25 :3

19. [said with a huge grin, while suffering the martyrdom of st sebastian] it has a lot of flaws in canon but i actually rlly like kaoritets, they are actually my go-to "mash them together like dolls" akira ship but not out of seeing Any Of That as genuinely romantic, i just love how fucked up and weird it is, tho i definitely think it wouldve been a better flavor of fucked up and weird if kaori had been given equal consideration within the narrative. her lack of agency could be so interesting if more of her inner life was on display. i think this goes w/o saying but i generally prefer the movie's more codependent take on them than. All That. in vol 4. vol 4 was so gratuitous and for what purpose

21. just generally everything to do with kaneda's bike and jacket in the movie? like i won't like ofc i want a capsule jacket, everyone does, it's a cool jacket, but i think if you have an overfocus on the aesthetics of akira/the bike slide/the jacket you're probably not getting the actual intended message of the movie. (especially considering both of them are symbols and kaneda loses them both by the very end). the bike slide in its original context is a neat bit of animation but that's all it is. aside from the live-action one in NOPE when i see a bike slide homage these days i feel nothing

25. i'm honestly not sure. there was a huge renaissance on here of akira fans right around 2018-2019ish but i wasn't around for that. at the moment akira fans seem broken up into several little disconnected groups so it's hard to pinpoint any sort of unifying fandom complaint. wait scratch that. ive gotten reactions before where it seemed like ppl very much did not like it when i actually criticized the way vol 4 is written esp wrt misogyny and its portrayal of sexual assault. so i guess my winner for "most annoying complaint" is the ppl who act as though you can't or shouldn't complain abt akira bc it's "a classic" and therefore somehow untouchable. which is just such a strange way of engaging with media to me. when i see something that i think sucks i will say it sucks

#AKIRA #thank you babe! Mwah 💋

1 note · View note

keeve-trenniis · 4 years ago

Text

Ok so after looking through the Ahsoka tag for a bit it seems pretty clear that there is quite a split between the fans that liked her, the fans that hated her and the fans that belive she shouldn't have been in mandalorian in the first place

I'm still not entirely sure where I stand on the whole thing but I can say that I'm somewhere in the middle of it all as I neither absolutely loved or hated the appearance but a do almost wish that she had stayed in animated for purely bc I still cant belive that shes actually in live action and it doesnt feel real to me which is an issue that I think will likely fade as time passes. I think part of this problem is the voice as Ashley (to me and Im sure to many others) will always be my Ahsoka and anyone can see that she absolutely adores the character, which is very important to me. I can see why Rosario was chosen for the role as her face is similar to Ahsoka's in s7 of tcw but if the whole reason to bring ahsoka into the live action universe because she is such a loved character then Ashley would be perfect bc of her attachment to the role and shes not only a voice actor but a live action actor too. I think that Ashley playing her wouldve removed some of my apprehension towards the performance. I cannot imagine how she mustve felt when she learnt that her beloved character was going to be given to somene else. This is not to say that Rosario didn't do a decent stab of the role but she just doesn't know the character like Ashley does. Not to mention the fact that I really dont like the fact that Rosario got the role despite the allegations against her bc thats just wrong and I cannot suport anyone who is transphobic even if they're playing one of my favourite characters. All they've succeeded in doing is making me and a lot of people upset because they've given our character to a transphobe.

Theres been a lot of hate and unrest about the lekku and montrails situation as well and I admit that when I first started the episode I was shocked that they weren't much bigger but then I realised that this was almost certainly due to the fact that moving about like Ahsoka does with a giant headdress on is really not practical and the concept art at the end proves this as you can see that they were suposed to be bigger. I supose there is an argument that cgi is an option but one of great things about star wars is due to how much they use actual physical costume and I much prefer the fact they made do with a smaller one than have them cgi something. I'm a cosplayer and I'm planning an Ahsoka cosplay at the moment and I fully intend to disregard the live action lekku and montrails but that because I've become used to the rebels look and I just like being extra and making giant headdresses but undoubtedly there are people out there who want to make her live action look and that is very valid. Everyone has their own preferences and things they like and to be honest the thing about live action Ahsoka that upset me the most was not the actual look, its fact that I knew how people were going to react to it. Its valid to hate them. Its valid to like them. Please dont attack people who dont have the same views as you.

Whilst all of the above may seem like I didnt like the episode and the appearance but that is not true. I absolutely loved that opening scene in the woods and I will stand by that as one of my absolute favourite scenes in live action star wars. The silhouetted Ahsoka with her DUAL WHITE LIGHTSABERS (hehehe can you tell I liked them?)? Absolutely stunning. I have to admit that the lightsabers were my favourite part of the entire episode and damn do I wish I had money bc I realky really just wanna be able to swing those lightsabers around but thats beside the point. To any clone wars/rebels fan, the choreography may seem slightly off but we knew that we wouldn't be able to see Ahsoka doing her full acrobatics in live action. We do, after all and somewhat unfortunately, have to adhere to the laws of physics but I know from friends who havent seen the clone wars thought she was so badass that I had to smile bc the mandalorian has succeeded in getting them interested in my favourite character and if they watch the clone wars then they are in for a treat. I do wish we had seen more of her reverse grip but thats my only big complaint about the whole thing (aside from the fact that of all the people in the world they got a transphobe to play her). Its possible that there was more footage of her using it but for whatever reason it had to be cut out in editing, maybe because other shots looked better visually.

All in all, Ahsoka is Dave Filoni's baby and I trust him to look after her. If he is content with her portrayal then I am happy to keep watching.

The most important thing I want to say is that can yall PLEASE stop being horrible to each other about your opinions and whether or not you liked it or not. You're allowed to disagree without being horrible ya know.

#ahsoka tano #the mandalorian #the mandalorian chapter 13 #star wars #lyxatt talks

13 notes · View notes

sharksfood · 5 years ago

Text

I saw Onward last week with my friend who is an avid LARPer and fellow lover of all things fantasy, so it was a perfect movie for the two of us. in general I adored it! I’ll probably see it again if i have the time and of course, i’m getting it on BluRay. i would also LOVE to snag the art book since the character design for this film was probably my favorite part.

[some spoilers]

my biggest complaint (and its not a complaint, just a negative i guess) is that Onward didnt feel like a Pixar movie to me, both in the story and animation. the animation style wasnt as interesting as some of the Pixar movies in the past (though thats been kinda up or down for a while), and it didnt feel as fresh or mind-blowing. to me it fit in better with the regular Disney animated features, not Pixar. Especially in comparison to Toy Story 4, albeit theyre very different styles, something about it didn’t pop for me like most Pixar movies do. The story was a little bland with Pixar in mind, though i did love it! i just always think of Pixar as the studio that gives stories and feelings to things we usually don’t expect. And Onward i guess was so similar to real life that it didn’t feel that way. Maybe if they had pushed the fantasy-realism even more, or changed some modern things to fit with these creatures more (they did do this but i think they didn’t push it far enough), that would have sold me.

and i’m not gonna talk about it at length, but the whole “Disney making a big deal about their ‘first’ LGBT character and acting so high and mighty about it” did dull the magic for me. considering the police officer was in two scenes, plus she didn’t have ANY characterization beyond being a cop and having a gf with a kid, it really did not live up to Disney’s hype. i’m not saying she wasn’t “gay enough” or whatever, but had they not brought it up beforehand or made any “hype” about her, i would have liked her a lot more. To compare this to Paranorman (not everyone agrees its good rep) Mitch being gay wasn’t something for LAIKA to brag about. Had Disney followed suit, their “first” gay character wouldn’t have become a meme.

Okay, so for the good stuff, I am a huge sucker for sibling bonding and especially HEALING in fiction. it gets to me more between sisters, but still. Ian and Barley like each other and get along well, but they still have their problems and doubts. The fact that they grew into their own and with each other is beautiful, especially the fact that Ian now sees Barley as a father figure AND a brother. That is an element i haven’t seen before, let alone done this well. I also really appreciated the tension between them in that Ian thought Barley was a screw up, that he thought less than great about his actions and choices. This sort of thing isn’t explored in media enough, and I’d love to see more. I believe most people don’t consider that our siblings’ opinions do matter to us as much as our parents’.

Again, I LOVE the character designs in this film. Everyone looks unique and distinct while still having key traits for each species. I love these designs way more that those in Monsters U, which felt kinda cut-and-paste with the monsters. I loved how you could tell that even within the elves they were still different races (or at least coded) with hair, facial features, and skin tone, all the while still blue! They did this with other creatures too, like how Corey is black while also being a Manticore bcs of her hair texture (and of course the incredible voice of Octavia Spencer). And you know what diversity Disney added and made not a peep about? One of Ian’s school friends walks with crutches! I can’t say what his affliction is, but its wonderful to see some inclusion to disabled folks.

My favorite characters were Barley and Corey. Barley was just so incredibly well rounded, like he was perfectly imperfect. I could go on and on honestly. Corey on the other hand was just plain AWESOME! Her little personality crisis felt kind of rushed to me, but to me it fit as an allegory for the whole film; she is a magical and powerful creature who let herself become weighed down by modern society and lost her moxie. I also love that Corey and the boy’s mom, Laurel, became friends (but i wouldve died to see them as a couple). I really want to know more about Manticores in this universe, since she seemed like the only one, and also might be immortal?

What initially drew me to this movie was seeing a centaur character in the original trailer, as trivial as that sounds its true. I love centaurs so much, and they hold a special place in my life for many reasons. I was a bit dissapointed in that there was only two centaurs prominently shown in Onward; Colt and the gal playing DDR (which was adorable). In the trailer there was one more, but not in the film. I did really like Colt, and he’s growing on me more. But one thing that has not left my mind is why to the centaurs and satyrs not wear pants?! everyone else does!! its probably bcs Pixar wanted the audience to clearly read them as centaurs/satyrs so pants would cover their cool legs, but still.... Do they just have a different level of decency than others? I have to know. But I love that the centaurs have horse ears instead of human ones <3

Lastly, and this isn’t good or bad, but I just didn’t resonate with Ian and Barley bringing back their dad. I mean, it was very emotional and a great drive to the story, but since I still have my parents I guess I just couldn’t connect to it. I liked how they were able to characterize the boy’s dad with just legs, that was adorable and a huge feat for animation!

Some little things I want to mention: the final boss dragon was SO COOL, it reminded me of the giant Ralph at the end of Ralph Breaks the Internet how it was made out of pieces, Ian was accurately scared to drive for the first time and i FELT THAT, Barley went the entire movie with a broken arm/wrist and took every swing like a champ! that boy is so chaotic i love him. ALSO it was so cool how Ian and Barley had each bits and pieces of their parents looks! like Ian had his dad’s face and body but his mom’s eyes, etc. Love that choice family design

All in all, a dazzling and wonderful movie with great characters and a cool story/theme, just not what I would expect from Pixar.

#onward #onward spoilers #onward review #babble

8 notes · View notes

opalgelance · 5 years ago

Text

thoughts on steven universe future

td;lr overall opinion: steven universe future is better than most of the original steven universe, especially seasons 3-5, but there are still some real iffy plotlines in future

i hate that the diamonds were redeemed but at the same time, the happy clouds blue and yellow putting gems back together scenes were so pure

it simultaneously warms my heart and infuriates me

but we finally got a blue diamond song, god i love her voice

EDIT: also steven basically tortured white diamond and nearly killed her and it was pretty disturbing bc steven is 1. in a really bad mental state, like way darker than i thought they’d show him go, since this is technically a kids show and 2. was also kind of trying to hurt himself, which both hit me really hard bc i had similar periods of blazing anger, wanting to self harm and harm others that i felt had wronged me when i was a teenager, but its also what white deserves

ncsndlljklkcndkls i want to enjoy this show so bad but,,, steven having ptsd makes him a violent douche??? diamonds killed who knows how many gems in their reign and never really felt bad about it in original su but now they’re supportive life coaches??? no thank you

on more positive notes, i loved how priyanka described mental health and how she treated steven throughout the entire check up, she was so nonconfrontational and whenever he felt stressed she deescalated the situation,,, it was so good

the animation is the best its been since season 2. the poses are clean, very well drawn, and on model. there are more action scenes than like 90% of steven universe and they’re animated way better, like theres actual fighting and motion asjksacbcbj no one is stiffly posed, no one has strange proportions, no one is drastically changing sizes in between shots (well besides steven in growing pains onward but when he does change size its supposed to be like that lol)

i liked seeing the real roses but didnt love it? i wish we saw more of the roses designs up close, and i wish they fit a little more with the other quartzes? it might be just because its era 3, but the roses were all way more unique than jaspers and amethysts generally seem to be. i like that they were more unique designs and had different personalities, but surely the diamonds wouldnt have tolerated that back in era 1 or even era 2, had the rose quartzes not been bubbled? also i get that they’re reminiscent of pink bc she created them, but hippie and superfan were so naive, more so than other quartzes. if each quartz group was slightly different, it would make a little more sense tbh like if quartzes were the entire gem army, but each group was slightly different. i always liked the idea that rose quartzes were either the defense or the healers of the gem army.

little homeschool and guidance were fun and genuinely enjoyable, considering not a whole ton happens in them. i wish townie episodes had been more like them. like you could replace the gems with random humans, but it would still be a fun episode? idk, maybe involving the humans in gem stuff wouldve made better townie episodes, like lars and the cool kids. it wouldve probably helped steven feel more “human” too, if the human and gem worlds collided a bit more in the series.

bluebird was... an ok episode, but im not sure how well it will fit into what i feel like the end will be, where every episode of future featured someone steven helped or affected in some way, and they all come together to help steven when he corrupts. or rather, i guess if bluebird did say something, it would feel more hollow bc steven didnt help them lol the gems and universes were just friendly to them, and thats it. it wasnt as bad as a very special episode (my least favorite episode of future), but it felt like a townie episode with no townies LOL at least we got a new fusion i guess

a very special episode was just,,, infuriating. there was that weird football scene where they just like,,, talk about screen resolution for a minute then play the full commercial for little homeworld we just saw last episode???? i did genuinely enjoy the rainbow scenes, but it just built up to not nothing. oh no, it was something alright. the whole episode was just future vision and then theres like a minute long psa??? it felt like that wacky randomness that would have happened in like, ok ko, teen titans go, or clarence jaskjcbkcjbskb

mr universe is tied with dear old dad episode as my least favorite greg episode. i get how both of them feel. greg wanted to tell steven about how he escaped from his miserable childhood and remade who he was, no longer a demayo but a universe. the problem imo was that greg became way too absorbed in the past. it reminds me a bit of s1 pearl, how she’d proudly recount gem battles and basked in the glory of fighting for their freedom, but she struggled when she had to recount the more unsavory parts of war. and that really affected amethyst, since she didnt fight in the glorified war pearl told her and steven about. amethyst was the byproduct of one of the bad parts of the war, and that became part of her identity, until on the run, where pearl finally realized that she needed to tell amethyst that she wasnt bad. amethyst’s creation may have fractionally hurt the earth, but that wasnt her fault. it wasnt her fault that she emerged too late to fight either. and it wasnt her fault that she existed. sounds familiar to to stevens rant in the van.

steven didnt ask to be made. he didnt ask to be the half gem half human son of a diamond. but he grew up being told about how great his mom was, and that while no one would ever say it, she was gone because of him. to create steven, rose had to die. it was roses decision, but as the product of that decision, steven feels responsible. not only that, but being told constantly about his amazing mother, steven felt like he had to live up to her, had to be like her, had to replace her in the gems and greg’s lives. throughout the series, steven is constantly either trying to be like his mother, until he realizes its ok to be himself. but then the question is posed; is steven even himself? or is he still part of rose? and once he finds out that he’s steven, and has always been steven, he’s still reeling from the realization that his mother was pink diamond. and that really shows in future, where steven is becoming like pink. at first he doesnt even know, because besides the jungle moon dream, him and the audience never knew about this side of pink. this angry, short tempered, diamond who lashes out mostly physically. and unlike before, no one’s telling steven about pink (besides pink pearl) hes finding out firsthand, and this pink mode is basically being forced on him by his gem. steven has little to no control over this form. hes not trying to live up to his mother, or wondering if he is her, like before. now, he’s losing control to whatever programming is in his gem.

but back to mr universe. in the van, greg is going on and on about how lucky steven is, and how free steven is, but how can either of them compare their lives to each other? the similarities just arent there. steven is right, greg and pink were “raised” in very similar “households”. both had their wishes and desires suppressed by controlling, abusive parents. we know pink was abused mentally, verbally and physically (being physically dragged away from the screen by yellow in jungle moon, stevonnie being grabbed and thrown into the time out cell by yellow, when she still thought steven was pink), but greg at the very least was mentally assaulted. but they diverge from here. as greg said, he thought disco was back. rose started a war. you cant compare them any further.

but at the same time, steven was raised completely differently. he was raised in a home with love and freedom, but he was also not given the opportunity to be a normal kid. theres a difference being forcing your kid to do something and not giving them the chance to try something. steven was never given the option to go to school (well in the comics he was but i guess thats not canon now since it seems like steven wishes he went to school?) he was never given the option to live in a house, or go to the mall with friends. the only other kids he knew were the boardwalk kids, but even then, he doesnt seem very close with them. for such an outgoing, friendly kid, steven wasnt given many opportunities to make friends. steven’s upbringing was very relaxed, yes, but it was too relaxed. he needed more structure, and more importantly, more humanity. i always thought it was weird, how little steven seems to have interacted with humans before connie, considering that his mother so desperately wanted steven to experience being human. yes the show is about gems, (and yes, i dont like most townie episodes), but steven was never shown doing a lot of “human” kid things inbetween episodes. the episode never started with him coming home from a friends house, he hardly ever spent time with friends other than connie in little scenes. like he was never called for a mission while playing cards with peedee, or coming home after an after school activity. any scenes like that were either just steven by himself, or with greg, and occasionally connie. but connie is a new addition to his life. how many years has he been doing fun stuff with only his dad for company, or by himself? yknow, “non traditional” childhoods and living situations are becoming more and more common in media, rather than the “two parents in a suburb house” thing, but steven’s life is beyond any unusual childhood any other kid would have. i mean he’s never even been to the doctor! which is probably for several reasons, like the fact that he apparently doesnt have a ssn, he can heal himself, has a damn gemstone in his stomach, and is half alien. but still, thats not something he has in common with other kids. no matter how much love and freedom he was given, steven was raised as an outcast.

i agree with the notion that both greg and steven were both right and wrong in mr universe. i guess they both have that in common with rose lol

greg should have read the room better, realized that his pep talk wasnt the support and apology steven needed to hear. but steven shouldnt have acted out in the way he did. i get that’s the “theme” of steven’s spiral, maybe for the younger audience to better understand how steven is acting? but crashing his dad’s van that gregs been living in for like 20 years? fucking SHATTERING jasper? that’s going way too far to prove a point. it would have been better to maybe mirror story for steven, where marty and greg are arguing, marty is watching the road and they narrowly avoid hitting a car. but crashing the car could have been pretty serious, especially for greg. now jasper, that episode shouldnt have been approved. steven should not have shattered jasper. he fucking killed her. rose/pink didnt even shatter anyone. and if it wasnt for steven getting another superpower out of nowhere, jasper would have stayed that way. he should have just cracked her gem, poofing her in the process. the rest of the episode wouldve played out exactly the same.

anyways ive been writing this for like 2 hours but i feel better letting it all out. if you enjoy future keep enjoying it! it’s definitely more like a B+ compared to season 3-5′s general C-/D+. but please take into consideration future has some themes that people personally relate to, like mental health, and that you shouldnt shit on someone elses opinions that are based on their own personal experiences. especially if you dont have mental health issues, dont keep pushing your opinion and telling people that personally relate to future’s themes that they’re wrong? thats fucked up man

#suf #steven universe future #suf spoilers

6 notes · View notes

booknerd405 · 8 years ago

Text

The answer to the Shakespeare asks cuz I’m an idiot (love u Kate)

@themeltedheadaches i blame this on the tumblr mobile app but here ya go <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 (your answers were amazing btw aahhhhh)

Antony: What bad habits do you need to break?

cracking my back, procrastinating, thinking all my friends secretly hate me...

Beatrice: What is the achievement you’re most proud of?

tbh this is kinda embarrassing (esp. since i had to audition like 2 months late cuz i chickened out originally) but joining symphony and not being completely terrible at it cuz music has always been a super private thing for me and playing any instrument at all in front of/with a group of people who are judging me hardcore is v not like me at all so yeah.

Benvolio: What comes to mind when you think of peace?

reading a book for so long in my bed that i get super cold even in the middle of August, my stuffed animal, watching TV with my entire family stuffed onto that poor red couch we’ve had since i was born, (really any time i can sit and do nothing with someone i care about and it isn’t awkward), waking up to find my dog curled up against my butt

Bianca: What do you want most in life?

To be happy with my life and my choices. I don’t want to be near the end of my life and start regretting all the things i didn’t do or try because i was too scared of failure. to be able to look back and say that I truly lived.

Celia: Do you want to fall in love?

i’m assuming this means romantically, so the answer is yes. i felt a bit foolish aka my ego was highkey bruised after sophomore year but it was worth it. in a broader sense, i’m already in love with so many things and people, i fall in love with something or someone as often as i can. Today i fell in love with how strong the smell of spring hit so suddenly in back yard this year.

Circe: Would you rather be loved or feared?

...why not both??

Claudius: What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?

my mind immediately jumps to every time i was a bitch or rude or plain mean to someone in elementary school who just wanted a friend or to fit in. i know i was young and supposedly didn’t know any better but i’d been on the other end before and i hate that i contributed to someone else in the world feeling the same way i did

Cordelia: Do you consider yourself a good person?

i would say that I try my hardest

Cressida: What makes you feel trapped?

my laziness, feeling like i should be doing more with my day but not having the energy or willpower to even get up

Desdemona: Do you believe that the truth will set you free?

i’d rather be told the truth than a lie, but I think a person’s response to the truth will determine whether they’re set free

Edgar: Do you want to make your family proud?

Always, the worst days in my life are the days where i feel like i’ve disappointed my parents

Edmund: Do you ever wish you’d been born someone else? If so, who?

Gertrude: Would you (or have you) ever cheated on a significant other?

Definitely not.

Hamlet: Do you prefer to think things through thoroughly or act on impulse?

oh god i think things through so goddamn much i’m practically hamlet himself, can’t get any shit done

Hecate: Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Definitely an introvert (dorming is gonna be HELL)

Helenus: Do you believe in God?

I’d like to but i just don’t

Hippolyta: What is your biggest regret?

not doing any art classes in high school until i absolutely had to. i wouldve met so many more people and symphony this year has just been the perfect break in the middle of the day that i never knew i needed.

Horatio: Who do you love most?

My family, especially my dad. i don’t know if id be even half as successful or happy in my life if it wasn’t for him. our 3 am walks in a random campground, going into his engineering workplace since i was 5, the number of times he made me cry by doing something silly like trying to teach me how negative numbers worked when i was 6. also my friends, i tend to only have 1 really close friend at a time that i love the most and she (hopefully) knows who she is

Juliet: What is your favorite luxury?

chocolate, french fries and ketchup, parents who are too good to me, fountain pens that i keep accidentally ruining cuz i keep messing with them

Lady Macbeth: What is your favorite thing about yourself?

physically, probably my eyes or my hair, though both have had their bad days. (also the mole on my hip but that’s not there anymore no i’m not salty) mentally idk i hate and love practically everything else about me in equal measure

Macbeth: Have you ever killed anyone? Would you?

No and i really don’t think so

Malcolm: What does honor mean to you?

being able to take failure in stride and learn from it, trying, being active and engaged in what you choose to do with your time, taking in others into consideration with your actions

Medea: Do you have any quirks?

I bounce like hell when I walk but i also look so angry that i’m bout to kill someone...so pls don’t look at me while i walk its embarrassing, i usually don’t use a pillow when i sleep

Mercutio: Is there anyone you would die for?

I’d like to be able to answer my friends and family but truthfully i don’t know if i could ever be that brave

Miranda: Is happiness a choice?

I think most of the time it is, but not always

Oberon: Does reputation matter to you?

i think it used to?? but now idk i feel like ppl can think whatever the hell they want of me & the ppl that matter will know the truth and won’t care about my reputation. tho i suppose it does kinda matter to me because having a bad reputation shuts down a lot of opportunities in life

Ophelia: Is there anything you regret not doing?

i feel like i already answered this...

Orsino: If you could have any material thing in the world, what would it be?

literally every fountain pen ever (this answer will probably change in a few months/years)

Paris: If you had the chance to rule the world, would you?

HAHAHAHAHAHAH nope nope no fucking way no thank you no siree no ma’am

Portia: When did you lose your innocence?

idk man my parents let me watch Police Academy when i was like 4 years old and i had a fucked up imagination for as long as i can remember i don’t think i ever had my full innocence

Puck: Do you consider yourself a mischievous person?

;) no (that means yes!)

Romeo: How far would you go for love?

too damn far, i don’t actually like how far i’ll go for love

Rosalind: What does your ideal day entail?

waking up early (but not so early that i’m super tired) and staying in bed doing nothing (preferably cuddling with someone) until later when my dog will start crying at me to get up, then spending some time at a park with friends doing stupid things and making stupid jokes and eating cake and chocolate, then going home and watching a movie with my family and my dad makes us all cheeseburgers, ending the day by taking a bath with a bath bomb that doesn’t have fucking glitter in it then accidentally falling asleep while rereading one of my favorite books

Rosaline: Which people from your past haunt you?

i try not to let my past effect me so much but probably Catherine still does. I thought we were the perfect friends that would be together forever but it turned out she had hated me for so many years, had been blaming me in part for her self harm. its so hard to trust when a someone says that they enjoy being my friend because i believed her and i was so so wrong and what if i’m making the same mistakes again and ppl think i’m trying to show myself up thinking i’m a terrible person that they actually hate

Sebastian: Is violence ever the answer?

No.

Titania: Do you believe in magic?

If you ask me during the day, no

Ask me at night, when i’m driving alone or outside under the stars... :)

Tybalt: If you could kill one person without consequences, who would it be?

No one

Viola: How skilled of a liar are you?

Sometimes I think i’m an okay liar but probably i’m terrible and my mom was just pretending to know I wasn’t hanging out with 79 to humor me

Volumnia: Describe the biggest sacrifice you’ve made.

i sacrificed an hour of sleep a few days in a row earlier this week to practice playing the auxiliary percussion in pilatus during concert band

#ask #kate #shakespeare #<3 #i'm an idiot

1 note · View note

recentanimenews · 6 years ago

Text

Tabletop vs. That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: How Do the Monsters Compare?

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime is a fun show that’s nicely self-aware of its genre’s tropes and how to make itself stand out from the crowd. While the likes of Overlord take a much darker tone, Slime takes the more positive message of trying to bridge differences and make peace with everyone.

As the Dungeon Master of a Dungeons & Dragons campaign though, one thing has festered in my mind for a while now, starting when Treyni the dryad summoned what seemed like an elemental (called a spirit summoning in the show) to attack Gelmund. I used a dryad in the first encounter of my campaign. They can’t do that! So, between goblins, dryads, lizardfolk, orcs and all of the other fantasy creatures in the Forest of Jura and overall world, how accurate are the monsters to their real life tabletop counterparts?

The obvious start point here is with dryads, since they sparked the initial thought.

In Slime, we see them as protectors of the forest that everyone respects, which is exactly how they are most commonly depicted. As for their abilities, thus far we have seen Treyni’s summoning attack and a few instances of dryads seeming to appear out of the ground. The summoning has no basis in any tabletop game. In D&D, dryads can cast spells like Barkskin to become harder to damage, Shillelagh to deal more damage and Entangle to hinder their opponents. Over in Pathfinder, they have the same Entangle ability, Charm Person and Suggestion (which temporarily makes an enemy do what you want) among a few other spells.

In terms of the teleportation ability, both Pathfinder and D&D agree that dryads have an equivalent, but not quite as powerful as what is shown in the show. Instead of appearing by sprouting out of the ground, tabletop dryads can meld into and walk between trees, an ability called Tree Stride. So for dryads, Slime vastly over estimates their power, both in combat and movement. What about the goblins, and eventual hobgoblins, that Rimuru leads?

In Slime, the goblins are initially almost helpless, barely even being able to survive against the other monsters of the Forest of Jura. If not for Rimuru’s assistance, the dire wolves likely would’ve wiped out the village. This is fairly close to how they are depicted in Pathfinders, where goblins can be a tribe can have a significant portion of the population be noncombatants, and they tend to favor temperate forests and coasts, like the Forest of Jura.

In terms of abilities, tabletop goblins have so little that the show almost perfectly matches. In the tabletop games, goblins have some kind of shortsword and a shortbow. It's not exactly what the goblins have in the show, but they are making due with rusty swords and no armor, so it's not too far off, either. D&D goblins also get the ability Nimble Escape to get out of melee combat while Pathfinder goblins have improved initiative, to act more quickly in combat, and a significant boost to their ride skill, allowing them to more effectively utilize mounts (which the goblin riders will utilize).

Once Rimuru names the goblins and they become hobgoblins, things are less exact. Tabletop hobgoblins are less of an evolution of goblins, and more of a side branch. They are more militaristic and industrialized, with less focus on stealth or riding.

In terms of equipment, hobgoblins have longswords and longbows, and, depending on the game and specific type of hobgoblin, some amount of metal armor and a shield. While we do not have explicit confirmation on what kinds of weapons most of Slime’s hobgoblins are using, this upgrade would easily happen once the dwarves began aiding the village and providing better made weapons and armor. But what about the leader of the hobgoblins, the titular monster itself: the slime?

It's obvious Rimuru isn’t a normal slime, even directly after being reincarnated. In both Pathfinder and D&D, slimes (technically called oozes) have no intelligence, as most people in the world of Slime initially expect of Rimuru. However, before absorbing various creatures in Veldora’s cave (and Veldora itself), and eventually gaining a human form, Rimuru is supposed to be a mostly standard slime, just with extra intelligence and some abilities that carried over from when he was dying in his original world.

Rimuru’s main ability, Predator, is closest to being an evolution of the Engulf ability from D&D. Both abilities dissolve whatever creature is consumed over time, but Predator has no limit on how large the thing being consumed is, and when a creature gets consumed, Rimuru gets its main abilities. Engulf only works on size class large or smaller creatures (horses are considered large, humans are medium), and an engulfed creature is restrained like in the show, but then it just takes acid damage until it dies or passes a strength check to escape. No touching scenes of past life experiences or new abilities from eating the enemy.

Tabletop oozes are also immune to exhaustion/sleep effects, whereas Rimuru passes out for several days afterusing too much magic, but since oozes don’t have magic to begin with, that is potentially just something unique to Rimuru. Interestingly, even Rimuru not being able to see much anything until Veldora teaches him magic sense is not accurate to tabletop oozes. In both Pathfinder and D&D, oozes have blindsight, which allows them to see a certain distance despite not having eyes.

So in short, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime is all over the place with respect to how close the monsters are to their tabletop counterparts. Rimuru is nothing like an ooze, which is to be expected, but neither is Treyni anything like a dryad. Meanwhile, the goblins and hobgoblins are surprisingly close in many respects.

My best guess as to why some monsters are strikingly similar to their tabletop counterparts while others deviate heavily is that the show takes much more inspiration from video games. As a result, the monsters that were adapted to the video format and retained many of their tabletop attributes were likely represented more accurately in the show, while those either adapted for video or left out entirely changed much more significantly.

All said, the show is still very enjoyable to watch, especially as a more upbeat and positive take on a popular setting in recent years, and the various monsters work off of each other in a way that makes the world feel complete and lived in, even if some of the monsters need to be adapted more than others to complete the transition.

There you have it, that was my analysis of how the monsters of That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime compared to their counterparts in tabletop gaming! Do you have any other ideas as to why some monsters lined up almost perfectly, and other not at all? Do you want to learn about more of the monsters from That Time I Got Reincarnated As a Slime, like the Oni or Lizardfolk? Let me know in the comments below!

----

Kevin Matyi is a freelance features writer for Crunchyroll. He's been watching anime for as long as he can remember, and his favorite shows tend to be shonen and other action series.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

0 notes

thebrokerichkid · 7 years ago

Text

Wilderness to wonder

So I just got done watching the movie Wonder, about a boy named August Pullman who has a facial deformity and has to deal with the most trying, harshest battle ground on planet earth: middle school.

Judging by the happiness of the ending, the movie might have been produced by Disney. Without spoiling it for you, the boy who should’ve been bullied into oblivion becomes the hero. Shocking plot line.

While it is undoubtedly a movie that gives the viewer hope, it is a hopelessly inaccurate portrayal of what it's like to feel like the space man in your school. I would know, I got bullied so bad in jr high eventually the principal realized it was easier to kick me out than to deal with all the people shitting on me.

I lied. They never shit on me, they just threw a cup of urine in my face.

So, August Pullmans everywhere, take it from someone who pulled through: it gets better. Let me break it down for you.

1. COOL IS A MYTH.

Admittedly, being bullied was my fault. In 3rd grade, I made a conscious decision that I was not popular specifically because I couldn't play soccer. I went about formulating a mental list of everyone in every social clique in my elementary school and gave them varying ranks of popularity. Soccer was the great equalizer. No matter what group you were a part of, if you could kick a ball you could be part of it all. They let me play once, I forgot what team i was on and scored against myself. I didn't get picked to play after we lost that game.

You know how many of those kids still play soccer? None. You know how much that game matters now? It doesn't. Spend your free time doing just that: being free. Whatever you like doing is more important than someone else's opinion of it.

2. FRIENDSHIPS NEVER LAST.

This is a double edged sword. Good news, the clique that beats you up every day will get disbanded before they can legally drink. Bad news, that person that's got your back right now really doesn't. Be prepared for it. The reason why bullying works is because you're alone and they're not. You can't see your future, but PLEASE trust someone who's seen an identical future through: you end up being the one with the squad.

There were two people named Tom in my childhood. One I thought was my friend cuz he knocked the wind out of a kid who was pushing me and the other Tom was the kid pushing me. I found out good guy Tom just liked punching people later on when he hit me, and bad guy Tom got arrested in high school for selling pot. Neither of them do anything of note with their lives nowadays. Evidently you can't sucker punch your way through a job interview.

3. PEOPLE DON'T SUCK.

Despite being a human toilet, I've found that not everyone is full of crap. Both Toms were dealing with things at home that made them have no choice but to act the way they did, and looking back on it I don't think I wouldve acted any different if I were in their shoes. Ultimately the hardest thing to ever hit you will be the idea that people aren't horrible, but things that happen to them are. Separate your bully from their actions and it will become much easier to forgive them.

4. YOU MUST FORGIVE.

Maybe you've heard the line "holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." That's the truth, and here's why. Eventually your bullies will go on to be the party animals and then the drunks and then the dead beats. But you will still be you. You'll still wake up in the morning, no matter how much you wish you hadn't. And if you go on through life harboring the hate they've long forgotten about, you will never stop being bullied. The hardest thing to do is let it go. The strongest thing you can do, is let it go.

I'll never forget one day towards the end of 8th grade, after someone had been to history class. This person sat across the lunch table from me and told me how if I was a jew they wish they could be Hitler, so they could "gas me like the rest of them."

He got two details wrong: Hitler killed himself, and I'm a Christian. And I force myself to forgive him.

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

Text

‘You’ll never work again’: women tell how sexual harassment broke their careers

Actors, writers, assistants, comedians and journalists speak out about the toll that sexual assault and harassment in the workplace took on their futures

As women come forward with accusations of sexual harassment in politics, media, entertainment and other fields, following the flood of allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, it is striking how many of their stories share the same ending.

Either the alleged abuse, the victims refusal to stay quiet, or both, slams the door on critical job opportunities and puts a serious sometimes terminal dent in her career. In some cases the victim never works in her industry again.

We spoke to a number of women who have come forward about the costs that sexual harassment imposed on their futures and careers. As society debates what sort of consequences should befall their alleged abusers, it is clear that these women have already suffered a penalty.

There are coming to be consequences for those actions, but its too little too late, said one of the women, former DC Comics editor Janelle Asselin. For the people who were harassed and assaulted, the consequences are something weve been living with for years.

The comic-book editor

The longer I read comics, the more I feel the possibilities are limitless, said Asselin, reflecting on her time as an editor at the publishing powerhouse behind Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and big-budget superhero movies such as the current Justice League.

If youre at DC, youre at the pinnacle of comics, Asselin said. You feel like youve made it into this amazing club where only an elite few get to work. It was a dream come true.

Asselin rose to be the associate editor of one of DCs most treasured properties the Batman comics. From her perch, she shepherded one of DCs first bisexual characters, Starling, into existence and put the brakes on sexist plot devices.

There was a storyline in a Robin comic where the writer wanted the female villain to be tricked by chocolate. Because shes a woman, Asselin recalled with a laugh. It was her first time objecting to a major storyline, and she won.

At DC, Janelle Asselin rose to become the associate editor of the Batman comics, but later quit after reporting a male editors sexual comments. Photograph: Janelle Asselin

But her time with DC would be short-lived. After she and a number of women reported Eddie Berganza, one of the companys most esteemed editors, to HR for making sexual comments in 2010, Berganza received a promotion.

Asselin quit.

Berganza, who has fired earlier this month following a BuzzFeed report about the allegations against him, has not publicly responded to the accusations and did not return a request for comment from the Guardian, nor did DC.

Earlier this month, Asselin tweeted: I loved my job at DC until that year that things went south. I never wouldve left if it hadnt been for DCs lack of respect for the women who came forward. My career and life could be very different if Eddie Berganza hadnt been what he was.

I underestimated what the psychological impact of reporting him and watching DC promote him anyway would be, Asselin told the Guardian. By the end, I hated going to work, because I had a very negative view about the company and their priorities.

Asselin took a new position with Disney but was later laid off. Working as a comics journalist and starting an independent publishing company gave her some satisfaction, but ultimately, she burned out. Today, Asselin is a claims adjustor for a workers compensation insurer.

My career was forever impacted by this, she said. Its hard to know what would have happened if they had done something But I feel like a lot of the women who left would have still been there.

The TV writer

Kater Gordons career reached a peak many writers only dream of in fall 2009, when she shared an Emmy as a writer on the second season of Mad Men.

She hasnt worked in television since.

The reason, she recently told the Information, is that the shows creator, Matthew Weiner, sexually harassed her. The incident robbed her of all her confidence and placed her in a lose-lose situation: She felt it could end her career if she challenged him, but she didnt feel like she could continue to work with him if she didnt.

Weiner denies he harassed her. After leaving the Mad Men writers room, Gordons attempts to stay in television were dogged by tabloid rumors that she and Weiner were in a relationship.

I had the Emmy, but instead of being able to use that as a launch pad for the rest of my career, it became an anchor because I felt I had to answer to speculative stories in the press, she said. I eventually walked away instead of fighting back.

Kater Gordon after the 2009 Emmy Awards in Los Angeles. We are all paying a cost for harassment. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

In an interview with the Guardian, Gordon who is setting up a nonprofit to help victims of sexual harassment said, We are all paying a cost for harassment.

By removing talented, capable, willing people from the workforce, we are hindering our ability to capitalize on the full potential of our entire society. When large portions of the population feel unsafe or completely remove themselves or theyre involuntarily removed from the workforce, were limiting our potential. On a large scale.

The costume designer

In 2010, Emma Bowers was one of the thousands of Hollywood strivers who perform creative work, for little to no pay, with the hope of gaining a toehold in the industry.

It made her highly exploitable, she said. Bowers trade was costume design. When she took on unpaid work for Andy Signore, the creator of YouTube series Honest Trailers, she claims, he sexually harassed her and responded viciously when she talked about his conduct to co-workers. Signore has not made a public statement about the allegations, anddid not respond to request from the Guardian for comment.

It killed my desire to work in the industry, Bowers told the Guardian. I had kind of this meltdown. I said, Im done with this industry, I dont want to be in this world any more. And after that, I wasnt.

Today, she works in animal rescue, sometimes running educational workshops for kids. The animals and the children are nicer to me than anybody in the film industry ever was, she laughed.

The reporter

Michael Oreskes spent decades at the top of his field, first as the Washington bureau chief for the New York Times, then as the editorial director of NPR.

At least one reporter who accused him of sexual harassment said Oreskes stripped her of the confidence to reach the same heights.

When I first went to see him, it was after screwing up my nerve to try to be bold and maneuver myself into a better job, and after what happened with him, I never really tried that again, she told the Washington Post.

Oreskes has not publicly commented on the claims of harassment, but in an internal memo obtained by CNN, he wrote, I am deeply sorry to the people I hurt. My behavior was wrong and inexcusable, and I accept full responsibility.

The reporter, who asked to remain anonymous so as not to damage her employment prospects, added: The worst part of my whole encounter with Oreskes wasnt the weird offers of room service lunch or the tongue kiss but the fact that he utterly destroyed my ambition.

The actors

Sophie Dix felt like she was on the verge of success. Then she met Harvey Weinstein.

Now a screenplay writer, Dix in the 1990s was an actor with a growing repertoire, scoring roles opposite Donald Pleasence and Colin Firth. Weinstein, she claims, interrupted her rise after he sexually assaulted her in a hotel room one night and she refused to keep his attack to herself.

I was met with a wall of silence, she told the Guardian. People who were involved in the film were great, my friends and my family were amazing and very compassionate, but people in the industry didnt want to know about it, they didnt want to hear.

Dix doesnt know exactly what happened behind the scenes, but she never landed another movie role again.

Part of her was all right with that. I decided if this what being an actress is like, I dont want it, she said. She threw herself into her screenwriting career. But the assault, she said, was the single most damaging thing thats happened in my life and derailed her acting ambitions.

Weinstein has repeatedly denied accusations of non-consensual contact, although he has appeared to acknowledge having sexually harassed some workers.

Sophie Dix: I was met with a wall of silence. Photograph: Graeme Robertson for the Guardian

I had done some TV and stuff before, that but this was my big movie break, Dix recalled. I still had a decent acting career, but it was all in TV. I never really had a film career. I think my film career was massively cut short.

Ive had friends call after the New York Times pieces came out, some who are now really famous, who knew about it at the time, and they say: This was the moment it changed for you.

Others believe Weinstein himself played an active role in icing them out of the industry.

Annabella Sciorra, who has accused Weinstein of violently raping her, believes he wielded his power to cloud her reputation.

From 1992, I didnt work again until 1995, she told the New Yorker. I just kept getting this pushback of We heard you were difficult; we heard this or that. I think that that was the Harvey machine.

Her friend, the actor Rosie Perez, recalled urging her to go to the police. She said, I cant go to the police. Hes destroying my career.

Annabella Sciorra in New York. Photograph: Charles Sykes/AP

The Hollywood producer was a storied bully and media manipulator.

Darryl Hannah claims there were instant repercussions for resisting his advances. The Miramax plane left without her at an international premiere of Kill Bill 2, and her flights, stylists and accommodations were cancelled for another.

I thought that was the repercussion, you know, the backlash, Hannah said.

This fear of losing your career is not losing your ticket to a borrowed dress and earrings someone paid you to wear, said the actor Ellen Barkin. Its losing your ability to support yourself, to support your family, and this is fucking real whether you are the biggest movie star or the lowest-pay-grade assistant.

Emmy and Golden Globe-winner Jane Seymour was a young actor when she rejected the propositions of the most powerful man in Hollywood at that time.

Seymour said the man, who she did not name, threatened to blacklist her if she ever repeated the details of their encounter.

Youll never work ever again anywhere on the planet, Seymour said he told her. She called the incident devastating and said it caused her to drop out of acting for at least a year, and almost permanently.

The production company assistant

Weinstein Company assistants also say they came in for abuse that forced them to leave the industry.

Emily Nestor was a law school graduate and business school student when she considered turning a temporary position at the Weinstein Company into a career in movies.

Then Weinstein began to relentlessly proposition her, she says.

I was definitely traumatized for a while, in terms of feeling so harassed and frightened, Nestor said. It made me feel incredibly discouraged that this could be something that happens on a regular basis. I actually decided not to go into entertainment because of this incident.

Emily Nestor (right) at a film party in New York. Photograph: Patrick McMullan/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

The comedians

Louis CK was one of the most revered names in comedy, and so was his agent.

That proved to be a career obstacle for comedians Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, who claim that the comedian exposed himself to them and then grew angry when they told friends in the comedy world about his behavior.

Whenever they saw Louis CKs agent, Dave Becky, attached to a project and there were many times they didnt even bother to put themselves in the running.

We know immediately that we can never even submit our material, Wolov told the Times.

Louis CK has said the sexual allegations against him are true. Know I never threatened anyone, Becky has said.

Abby Schachner said she was deeply discouraged when she called Louis CK to invite him to a show and he masturbated while on the phone. She said the incident was one of the factors that pushed her out of comedy. Today, she illustrates childrens books.

I cant even make a phone call, how am I going to pursue this as a career? Schachner thought to herself at the time, she told the Guardian. It knocks your confidence away If you honestly feel no confidence, its better to hide.