#i feel like this might be an american problem tho tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anarchistbitch · 1 year ago

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well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

#m for mwah! and MWAH

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myapathyhaspeaked · 2 years ago

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im bored so thimbo moments from yours truly:

was at daisy/brownie camporee helping out, and it’s on halloween so we get to trick or treat even though we’re “too old”, and while we’re doing that my friend says that they have been playing “their transgender looks and autistic personality have captivated me” in their head and i have “autistic t-boy swag”playing in my head but i can’t say it out loud cus im not out so i say that and that i’ll tell them when were back at the cabin and not near anyone. and so we’re back in the cabin still in our costumes and we’re throwing a big inflatable ball and yelling at stuff and it’s loud and my friend goes into the bathroom and they get migraines so i figured they went in there to escape the noise and im like “cool perfect time to tell them what i was thinking” so i step inside bc i guess i got there before they could lock it and i’m like “hey so about that thing-“ and they’re like “what are you doing i went in here to change” and i was like “…oooooooooh. uh. oops. sorry.” and stepped outside and decided to just text them and fun fact they used to be one of the few people i consider an actual friend but now that i’m not in their class anymore they haven’t texted me since 10/2/23 (american format) and it definitely has not mentally affected me at all i definitely don’t feel like everyone will abandon me as soon as i’m not convenient or if i reveal i like stuff they find weird the fact that no one texts me first unless they need something has had totally no effect on me <3

— — —

i bring dishes back to the dish washing station and the coworker on dish tells me something, and it’s very clear what she said it wasn’t a noise or diction problem but my brain works on windows xp plus it’s been a loud night and i’m slowly dying so in my brain she basically spoke in zalgo font and it’s only by the time i set the plates down that the words are finally translated and i realise she said “im on raw” and i kinda just look at her and im like “i just processed what you said im so sorry” and about-face out of there

— — —

the same night a customer asks for a condiment and it’s not on the menu so i’m not sure we have it but it’s a common condiment so i say i’ll ask someone and i walk up to the people on window because they’re usually the ones giving people the ketchup packets so i figure the packets are their domain so i ask if they have what the customer wants and they’re like “yeah? you should really ask the back for that tho” and i’m confused cus the dips are the back’s jurisdiction im looking for packets and while i’m standing puzzled they repeat my request to the dips guy in the back and i get handed a little tin of white stuff.

because the customer asked for mayonnaise. and i was picturing mustard packets.

and i’m just lucky my mouth took what my ears heard and not what my brain imagined because i have a hard time with what i’m thinking and what words my brain puts out not matching, especially if stuff is similar or starts with the same letter, like one time i was looking at a picture of an apple and i know it’s an apple but my inner monologue couldn’t get the word apple so it just said pear

— — —

volunteering at a christmas tree shop for school and me and my brother are making wreaths and this kid comes up and starts staring us and i think he wants one so i’m like “uhhh sorry they aren’t for sale yet” and my brother is like “you idiot he wants to watch” and then the boys family comes and they ask if he can help or something and im not sure how to say “he’s not signed up so no he can’t” without sounding rude so im like “oh um he’s too young and there’s sharp things” and my more socially adept brother pops in to explain that “the shop is in partnership with the high school so unfortunately he can’t sorry” and he kinda just gives me the “why do you suck” look and i get that face a lot but tbh, fair

— — —

i might add more later my brain is very small and i can’t remember anything ever

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tsintotwo · 2 years ago

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(Part 2/4)

Second post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects (Part 1 here).

Remainder (2015)- Plot: Dude has an accident and is in a coma for months. Afterwards, he's forgotten a lot but weirdly, is remembering things that seem to have never happened. This dude is Tom. Now, I have to give it to the director- Tom has been shot GORGEOUSLY in this. The movie is slow at the start and honestly I was ready to happily treat and view this as a 2-hr modeling exercise feat. him. But things did get interesting, and I ended up kinda enjoying the movie. Tom's character gets slowly unhinged, and he portrays that so well. The voice, the attitude, the inevitable sexual tension- all of it had me mesmerized. He kisses a woman and a man. This 2nd kiss might just be, without any exaggeration, the hottest thing I've ever seen in my whole damn life. What's great about this is when he's kissing this man, it's not just like 'oh yeah sexy times!!1!' Basically his character had been trying to recreate a scenario (that happened with the 1st kiss) for months and with this man in this moment it's all come together- so he's ecstatic and almost delirious: that's the scene here. Idk how much the actors really got into this irl 'cause most of the kiss looks quite close-mouthed, but that matters zero per cent because HOLY FUCK they, esp. Tom, sell it like there's no tomorrow. He's just so. fuckin. INTENSE. I can swear to you right now: I will NEVER be over this. (Sorry for a longass kiss analysis; not tryna be pervy, it just really made an impact.)

Mary Shelley (2017)- Kissing husband in front of wife, flirting with said wife, making out with mistress, and then introducing everyone to his twink, all under a minute. Meet Lord Byron, ladies and gentlemen, a veritable chaotic devil. In the movie for, like, 15 mins, but Tom just rolls up and SETS THE HOUSE ON FIRE. Playing such an outrageous character, it might have been easy to make it a caricature. But Tom makes it believable, and you can kinda tell he's having fun with this. The effect is electrifying. Just, perfect casting.

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)- I'd watched the movie when it came out 'cause I'm into horror/thrillers, but the only thing I remembered is not particularly liking it. I did go and look at Tom's scenes again (who, until recently, I'd totally forgotten was in this movie). He plays a hipster art critic, complete with pretentious scarves. It's a small role, and unremarkable. He does what the job asks of him. There's no lasting impact. (Did he come into the movie 'cause he's friends with Jake Gyllenhaal?)

Sweetbitter (2019)- Series on Starz. New adult girl, Tess, comes to NY, starts working at a high-end restaurant. Falls for bartender Jake immediately. But he's childhood friends+ with two-faced queen B Simone who's very territorial about him. Tess gets close with both of them, and you just know there's a clusterfuck coming. Which we didn't actually see arrive because the show got cancelled after 2 seasons. I did mostly watch this- interesting enough, but riddled with problems. That aside, Tom plays Jake and I have to say this is the only time ever I've thought him less than perfect. The character is a walking NA instalovey-romance trope with near zero redeeming qualities, that's one thing. But a. Tom's American accent was off (which is weird 'cause he's pulled it off decently enough in other things), and b. (I feel like this is the showmakers' fault)- this character is supposed to be a thirst trap: broody asshole, a player with tattoos, a classic bad boy- and I KNOW Tom can do that, be that. And yet, he kind of... wasn't, 100%? The show just failed to present him that way, and it's SUCH a missed opportunity. I mean, dude's got the looks, the charisma, has done awfully well in bad news/lusty devil roles before. So what gives? Just, frustrating. The intimate scenes in the show are VERY nicely done tho. Worth watching just for seeing Tom fuckboy-shoving and kissing a girl against a wall tbh (A taste here)

Irma Vep (2022)- HBO show. Actress separates from actor husband after cheating on him with a woman, goes to France to film a remake of a classic movie called 'Irma Vep' and reflect on life and shit. Yeah, I wasn't gonna watch this. So, I watched the parts with Tom. He's the ex-husband, now on friendly terms with the MC. I loved him in this: something so natural about both when he's having a quiet, regretful convo with his ex wife and being playful and upbeat with his young new gf. There's this scene when he's hurting, goes to the MC for comfort, and they end up sleeping together. It was SO well done- hesitation, hurt, desire, wanting each other, but still really looking for comfort... masterful, from both actors (Tom with Alicia Vikander) and the director.

Bonus: See Wall/A Life (2019)- Two monologues from Tom (Sea Wall) and Jake Gyllenhaal (A Life) at Public Theatre and on Broadway. They both got Tony noms for Best Actor for this. It kills me that there's no way to see it now (check out the trailer on yt, you'll regret too), but there's an audiobook for this done by them on Audible which I got. I just love Tom's voice, okay? Love the way he speaks, even when he's not being Morpheus. And him telling me a 36 min story where he gets hyper and then quiet, excited and then devasted, is in love, is heartbroken- and I can replay it as many times as I want? Just, gimme. Any day, anytime. I'm so happy this exists.

That's it for this post. I've watched more stuff, so there will be a next installment.

#tom sturridge #dream of the endless #sandman #the sandman #mary shelley #velvet buzzsaw #sweetbitter #irma vep #remainder #sea wall/a life #morpheus

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queersturbate · 3 years ago

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why do you hate squid game? i'm not being judgy or anything i'm just genuinely curious

hello anon! this might get long and i will make a lot of comparisons to aib because they are similar plot wise and they're both from SE asia (korea and japan) so i feel better about comparing those two than, say, an american show. also AiB is the best show i've ever seen period but also the best show to use this plot of competing in deadly games.

thank you for not being rude about it or anything i know people like it and i dont want to be rude about it, but personally i just dont see the appeal.

i'll put my thoughts under the cut because i know some neurodivergent people are hyperfixating on it rn and ik how it feels to read hate or criticism on a hyperfixation, so i want everyone to not be bothered.

warning i do get very critical of it so if you like squid game please dont read if you'd be bothered! these are just my opinions!

to start off, I am four episodes in. I will watch the rest, but from what I've heard, the ending is disappointing. Which idk how tf that's possible because the entire show is disappointing. But anyway, i will give it a fair chance of course but so far i hate it and im not sure if it could redeem itself. @olympiansally and I (i also talked about it with @uppertwist) are watching it and I think, collectively, we've said 7 okay things about it. 5 of those things are from me. And im the most negative person ever especially when im watching a show with a similar plot to my favorite show and it gets more popular despite it being incredibly inferior. My main approvals are, they made Korea look very peaceful (even tho the color correcting is shit :( srry) and that scene where that one guy catches our main character in the red light green light game. i really liked the reveal of that.

speaking of characters that I cant name, it's because the characters are incredibly annoying and boring. I cannot pay attention to them long enough to even learn their name. I can recognize our main character's daughters name and that's only because its said a bazillion times but i can't remember what her actual name is by myself. I think there's also a character called Sang-woo ? and i only remember that, if im correct at all, because of killing stalking. but anyway. the characters are very stereotypical. Bad dad, divorced, needs money, in trouble with a loan shark. I've seen it a million times i get it. Pretty girl is a badass, doesn't smile, has a small knife (lol), has a kid brother she's protective of. Again, a million times. Blahblah the other characters are forgettable even more so. Also people comparing sang-woo (?) to light yagami? idk what he did yet but dont insult me OR light like that again omg. also the actors are a little bad i wont lie. the main characters faces sometimes are exaggerated and i find that funny lol but idk.

as far as everyone saying "it's a great commentary on capitalism" every time im like okay...how? because i have seen zero people actually giving it an analysis they just SAY its a great commentary on capitalism. and here's the thing: i've seen it yeah? it's not. it's just "poor people need money. are willing to die for it." like woooow congratulations you broke barriers! no one has done it like that before! /s literally all im getting from this is "look at these POOR people! POVERTY!" tbh i wanted to see some rich people in the game. I wanted to see some millionaires that are so greedy and confident in their ability that they'd participate in the games just to get more money that they didn't need. and are competing against people who genuinely need the money but dont care BECAUSE they're so fucking greedy. to me, that would make the capitalism commentary a little better than just ".....POOR PEOPLE need... *assistant whispers something to me* MONEY"

another problem i have with it is how they frame food. I dont trust shows that frame food as this disgusting thing and make it look and sound so grotesque. maybe it's just my ED talking but I hate it. They frequently had food shown and it was an awful experience for Lu, twist, and me. And im not even talking about him licking the cookie, which was so fucking gross and went on TOO LONG, but EVERY TIME they showed food it looked disgusting. The characters were chewing with their mouths open, they amplified the chewing noises, they framed it with this uneasy feeling. Similar to how they framed the dinner in coraline in her own world. it looked disgusting. and im not just being ignorant and saying "korean food looks so disgusting" although i've never had korean food i've seen k-dramas where they frame food to look appetizing or just ?? fucking NORMAL. to compare to alice in borderland, they only had a few instances where they showed food because they didn't have to use it to give you an uneasy feeling. The first time it's shown, is when Arisu gets into a car and sees rotten vegetables, but it was important to the plot and world building to show you that in this alternate reality, time moves different so the vegetables have rotted. The food was rotten and looking disgusting yes, but it was never meant to be eaten, arisu was never going to eat it. it was for world building. the second time is when ari, chota, karube, and shibuki are all eating dinner together. they showed canned food because that's what wouldn't have rotted by now. they werent being gross about it they were just eating and talking about their theories. just people eating. and i love it. the third and last one ill mention is when Usagi cooked arisu some food because they hadn't eaten for days and needed to. you didnt even see them eat on screen but usagi had a whole thing of "your body is telling you that you're hungry, your body wants you to live." also the food that she cooked looked good! it looked comforting! idk maybe my ED makes me very cynical about how shows and movies frame food because i dont like it when they frame it as disgusting.

anyway this is getting long! the visual aspects of it are stupid, the game sets look stupid, the color correcting is bad, the camera angles are boring and lu's film degree has bestowed upon me the knowledge of "it has no point of view and every shot is the most obvious one", next! the blood looks boring and the physics of it are inconsistent. blood can be inaccurate and i'll still love it, but they were boring with it and it looked bad. next- the fact that apparently the pretty girl pickpocketed main character in .2 seconds when she didnt even see him coming so she wasnt prepared enrages me, next- episode two is so fucking boring i couldn't even tell you what happened in it. next- the way they revealed the money in the piggybank was boring. next- the black and white scene in the beginning explaining the squid game was stupid and annoying. next- the plot of deadly games is my favorite plot of all time and yet i dislike this show. they fucked up. and finally, the stairs they had that is an art reference is stupid lol there wasn't any need for that and they should've done it in black and white like the original art so the teal color and the people would stand out but it's too fucking busy with the multiple bright colors. not everything has to be bright and saturated, netflix calm down.

oh also, this feels very much like a typical netflix original. i call it netflix original-y. very basic and boring.

#anyway #enough slander from me #don't unfollow me bc i dont like squid game :(#ask #anon

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transsexualhamlet · 4 years ago

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asmr i psychoanalyze hide for fun

a lot of these are just stupid headcanons but a lot are also how i feel that’s just the way he is so

I know no one will read this it’s so very long but hello he’s my comfort character

(the words are under the cut bc THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS)

thoughts: It’s funny because most of the characters that I really love are just fucking idiots. So stupid. No thoughts head empty. And like at first glance you’d think the same with Hide, he’s got the look of a real dumbass, but he’s actually a really smart person? He just kind of, hides it. He did say he was like allergic to books once (it’s the adhd, king) but that doesn’t change the fact that he emotionally is actually a very intelligent person. It’s something he’s humble about because I don’t believe he really identifies with the intellectual crowd or sees himself as particularly above average, he just finds it easy to understand things. And he doesn’t ever use it for his own advantage even when it would be totally fine to do so, he pretty much always uses it to help other people and I think he believes if he used his strengths to help himself it would be, like, selfish. Which is a problem of his.

gemder n brand of gay: A lot of people in yonder Fandom like to see kaneki as bi and hide as gay but nah fam you’re off. Honestly I do not care about his Date With Rize in the slightest, that man is a homosexual. Hide is the bi one. (it’s not like this is a requirement or anything lmao i am just Saying also i’m bi and i’m projecting) I can also say with confidence that date with Rize was the only date Kaneki’s ever been on and he was definitely lying to himself. (i just, don’t know how you could look at Haise specifically and for one second think he has ever seen a boob) Hide’s the one who’s probably dated people before and he actually knows what’s attractive, he probably just doesn’t discuss that a lot with Kaneki since the bitch is Closeted and hide knows this. It’s funny because Hide canonically has two dads. Like I think that kind of explains him tbh. Bitch has good parents??? He’s the only one but we love him for it. U know Kaneki spent more of his life at Hide’s house than his own.

And as to gender, like obviously hide’s a guy, but i think he’s one of the few cisgenders who could like... tell you why. He’s well versed in those kinds of issues and has just thought about it a lot I guess? He’s comfortable in his skin and with a conventionally masculine appearance but he could tell you what Boy TM means other than yo macho man dude bro guy

personality type- ENFP-T: I took the fucking test for him and it was like... so easy. Took me ten minutes.

basically what this means is it just calls him out as a fucken loud ass sunshine boy who has very many emotion and cares way too much about his friend

love how this part of the description describes kaneki and hide perfectly

biggest strength: he’s so good at helping people?? Like I can honestly say if some random person started rambling about their relationship issues to him I’d give him 10 minutes before he had a perfect solution, he had the person crying and being comforted in just the right way. He’s the perfect medium of confident and caring and he’s not just a fucking ray of sunshine on accident, he’s like, mob psycho 100 style actively working to be nice and compassionate. He’s very aware of how his actions affect people and he always knows just the right thing to say, what to do, when to just let things go or when to say them. And Hide will forgive, literally anything, even if someone does something really shitty to him he’ll realize it’s the product of like, unresolved mental issues or something and seek to fix it instead of cutting the person off. It’s... really good for everyone around him. But well,,, not great for him, see below.

biggest weakness: bitch does nOT leave room for himself. Although he is generally a confident person and isn’t very insecure, he knows he’s giving too much of himself and simply ‘pretend i do not see it but in reality i do’. He’s never put himself first and feels more worthy when he makes someone else happy, and it’s really not that visible but it can take a pretty big toll on him. He’ll feel anger and frustration for his problems but eventually he will end up blaming himself for anything that goes wrong and will just resolve to Try Harder. (which, mood) He does problem solve well and he tries to come up with the best solutions to issues but the fact is he just does not prioritize his own happiness within those solutions. He gives too much and it’s fucking killing him.

what he likes most about himself: Although he does have issues obviously, I don’t see Hide as someone who has particularly low esteem of himself. I think he pretty much thinks he has himself figured out and therefore other people’s problems come first. He generally does, think fondly of himself, because most of the time he can fix people’s problems so he’s yknow, a good person. I think he likes his ability to enjoy life and live in the moment, and he likes his connections and friendships with other people. He values emotional connection and he likes that he can easily create and enjoy good vibes. He loves being the one who everyone just... goes to for a good time.

favorite things: I think I heard somewhere that he enjoys dumb american bands without really understanding what they’re saying which seems very on brand for him, but I’m gonna perscribe him some other stuff too. Obviously he likes bright colors and comic books, and places where he can have fun with other people. He generally likes college, even though it’s like, school, and unlike kaneki he actually had a good childhood and he enjoys the places he spent time and formed good memories, he has Nostalgia TM (see unbelievable by owl city hmmm he vibes to that he was born in 1996 or something right i can’t google things) he also just really likes to just, fix other people’s problems but we’ve covered that.

what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong: Hide is doing his best. He’s no less flawed than any of the other characters in tokyo ghoul, it’s just that his strategies tend to involve 100% less murder. Ok no, let me rephrase that, Hide is flawed, but i meant like emotionally, he’s not a war criminal like everyone else. He may seem at first glance like, just, perfect? Sorry for being a simp lmao but I feel like from the outside he’s just got it all together right? He knows what he’s doing and he’s super nice and helpful and smart and humble and just doesn’t have any visible flaws? He... tends to hide any evidence that he would ever be struggling. And that’s not very sexy of him. He feels it would be a burden on others to show pain or ever say he can’t take something on (if someone asked him to do something he’d do it even if he was already mentally at capacity etc) and that’s something he needs to work on. The good thing is that if they got to a point where after Kaneki’s Character Development they got to just... like, be happy and not be separated and everything Kaneki would be good for him because he compliments that. Hide helps him because he needs a lot of like, mental counseling lmao but now that Kaneki’s gone through a lot of that his eyes have been opened more to the fact that Hide hides his problems from Kaneki so if they could just bE HAPPY this is an issue that could be resolved

insecurities: I think Hide kind of believes he’s not allowed to be sad. Cause it’s like, not his job. He’s the source of happiness for everyone else, supposed to have everything together so he can fix everyone else’s problems. he’s not allowed to be in pain or feel bad for himself even though he knows “Boys Can Cry” it’s like, yes boys can cry, not me tho haha lmao it’s not about his masculinity it’s just he’s like “yeah but kaneki’s had it worse” so like if he finds himself in a bad place, he feels inadequate and like... fundametally broken. and it’s. Like. I felt that but also like king that’s not how it works

goal in life: I think he wouldn’t really be able to answer that question. What the truth would be is that he probably wants to do something grand and important that helps a lot of people and kind of changes the world. But he might not really think of it that way, since he’s usually focused more on smaller more isolated issues and he has no idea what he wants to do as a career. He admires activists and people who put themselves at risk but it probably makes him feel inferior that someone else is Doing Something About This Big Problem and he’s just sitting there riding around on his bisexual bike and being in college. (I’d like to say he’s probably changed majors at least a few times,,, that man was like “oh yeah lmao i’m gonna be a comic book artist” but someone said something about how he’s a good therapist and he’s like “brb kinshift i am now a psychology major” lmao.) (hello i am projecting but i’m right) He sees a tumblr post about some issue somewhere and he hyperfixates on it for days until he sees another post about something worse it’s an issue. But I think what he ended up doing was what he wanted to, even if he never recieved any recognition for it the internal sense that he was doing something Right TM in the eyes of history would probably make him cry

how he was raised: I can’t really say much to this because there’s barely any canon on this and the canon that does exist I have completely ignored other than the fact that he has two dads. Bro tbh? He didn’t need any tragic emo backstory I think he had a great childhood. Honestly he’s probably a rich kid. Not super rich but he’s not struggling man. Not gonna lie to you I think the only reason he went to Kamii was because he wanted to be at the same college as Kaneki who probably got a scholarship. Hide, didn’t. (it’s not like he’s not intelligent but I don’t really think that his grades are his biggest priority, the only time he ever pays attention in class is to give kaneki the answers when he’s gone)

What irks me about the random lore drop in the last chapter about him having a CCG dad that died or whatever- it kind of ruins the whole point for me. Personally I choose to believe he had nothing whatsoever to do with ghouls or the ccg before all that happened to Kaneki. He probably had correct opinions on them, but only like, in theory, it’s like straight people that are like “yeah ofc gay ppl valid” but they’ve never really had any personal experience with any. So when he gets involved in that- the fact is that the only reason he was... was bc of kaneki. It was never more complicated than that to me. YKNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST, NICE, OK?

And I think for me that the fact that he could actively choose to be nice and be aware of all these problems when he’s practically got every advantage in life is a lot more important. He didn’t have to be poor or have a dead parent or have a shitty childhood for him to be really genuinely good. I don’t think he’s ever been bullied or anything, but he can still be aware that it sucks to be bullied. I think he was just... raised right. I think his dads are probably pretty fucking baller for him to be such a bro. They taught him the right shit.

General philosophy: Hide is one of the only people in the series for whom the dynamics of right and wrong are not hard to understand. He’s never been required to pick up a weapon or actually truly fight in the CCG, he’s never been really mean to anyone. Of course I can say he’s probably decked a few ppl that made fun of Kaneki in middle school, but haven’t we all. The thing is that though he’s never suffered at the hands of others, everything that’s hurt him he’s gone in fully consenting to it- he can still understand and forgive what everyone else has done. Like bro he’s the literal only one around who’s not like a literal war criminal, but he’s not going to think he’s better because of it, because he understands that if he had been in their circumstances he couldn’t say how he would have turned out.

That’s why I think it’s so important that he never really had a bad childhood- he’s not better than them for turning out without any blood on his hands, because he was never required to. And he knows that and he goes through every day with all these people who have and is conscious of it. He can’t ever say he’s incapable of hurting other people, because he would have said that about Kaneki before all of it happened. So he’s quite politically correct compared to Kaneki and the others but he doesn’t see things that way.

relationship bullshit: i mean bro i know this is a serious post about like psychological and emotional things but i felt the need to discuss whY does everyone write hide as a bottom I mean like sure he’d bottom if his partner was a top but this is simply not the case with kaneki look at him. Hide. Service top. I rest my case. The man’s the biggest switch ever but when he’s a top he’s a nice top. I think Kaneki needs that to be perfectly honest. He really likes to take care of people. Also kind of off topic but his love language is quality time he just wants to play video games wit da homies and he might fall in love a bit

I find it genuinely funny how much i cannot get away from the tentacle porn on the god forsaken archive of our own just looking at the tags i already know it’s so out of character haitoheoihesdsdsa and don’t get me started on the vore

how kaneki sees him vs how he actually is: One of the biggest problems in kaneki and hide’s relationship is how in the beginning, Kaneki didn’t really understand at all that Hide could be hiding anything from him. Kaneki’s not good at picking up clues like that in general, but the fact that he was hiding so much himself didn’t help at all. Hide gives off the vibe of someone who has no inhibitions and shows every side of himself without hesitation, and Kaneki really does idolize that. He didn’t realize that Hide could possibly be suffering or imperfect compared to his vision. He sees Hide as practically an angel, and that’s exactly how Hide wants Kaneki to see him, because he doesn’t want to burden Kaneki with his own problems since he believes they’re not as important and they would make Kaneki sad. Kaneki knew Hide wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed, but he didn’t really understand what that meant until too late. The good thing about Kaneki’s character development though is that it then helps Kaneki understand that Hide was suffering because of him and he didn’t want Hide to hide it anymore (lmao). If they’d only executed that point well that could have been really good but well that’s what fanfic is for

how he sees kaneki vs how kaneki actually is: This one’s a lot more difficult, because well. Hide’s very good at knowing exactly how people are in their hearts, compared to Kaneki. But there are definitely some things that he’s not super up on. He wasn’t around for a lot of Kaneki’s development, so most of the time I think he still believes Kaneki doesn’t want to see his pain, which is, simply incorrect, Kaneki would obviously not be happy to hear it but it would tear him up inside to realize he’s been oblivious to it the whole time. He’s grown a lot more mature since he spent most of his time with Hide, and I really think Hide could benefit from being able to open up to Kaneki the way he is now. And well. I think his biggest misconception has to be that Kaneki enjoyed women lmao

the most him thing i’ve ever done: listening to a happy upbeat song and visibly bopping while also uncontrollably sobbing

miscellaneous headcanons:

-he’s a morning person lmao. Motherfucker gets up at 6 AM and Kaneki is like PL EA SE NO

-what he finds attractive is like. twinks and girls with hair in colors that don’t exist and ppl who don’t know what gender is

-He likes Imagine Dragons lmao you can see by the next point

-his coping mechanisms are mostly music and other people tbh he’s like “oh i am having emotions? disgusting” *goes to a party*

-he plays dnd and he mains a warlock i don’t make the rules

-he doesn’t look like someone who would do that shit but he probably knows how to use tarot cards

-idk how but that motherfucker is so neurodivergent i can smell the hyperempathy on him look at that man he has so much adhd

-he’s fully aware that his fashion sense is terrible and continues to wear more and more ridiculous clothes to piss kaneki off

-this man has tungle dot fuck. Look at him. His url is probably something along the lines of my ao3 username lmao

-he can see the forbidden shrimp colors smh

-this bitch likes mob psycho 100 and the promised neverland, kaneki keeps telling him to watch death note and he’s just like n o hhsdfhhfdshdfshdfs he probably kins tpn emma

-he doesn’t know how to drive lmao he bikes everywhere and he lives in tokyo

-i am once again thinking about how he was in a play with kaneki and kaneki was the main character and he was the spicy side character that’s not a headcanon just. that

songs that are, him:

-Stand By You (Rachel Platten)

-Luck (American Authors)

-Love (Imagine Dragons)

-If I Lose Myself (One Republic)

-Stardust (New Politics)

-Secrets (also one republic)

-Flaws (Bastille)

-100 Bad Days (AJR)

-I Lived (another one republic lmao)

-Battle Scars (Paradise Fears)

-Rise Up (Imagine Dragons)

yeah he definitely listens to this shit lmao

#tokyo ghoul #hideyoshi nagachika #hidekane #kanehide #jesus christ i am hyperfixated #rowan's hyperfixation essays

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blackberry-gingham · 4 years ago

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Hiii. I love your writing. It's so cute and always puts a smile on my face💕 I was wondering if you could do one with each of the boys where they are dating a black girl ???? Thank you!

Aw thank you, I'm so happy to hear that ♥️♥️ And of course! I hope some headcannons alright for you and have a lovely day!!

George

So I think we all know that accurate stereotype about how bland and gross British food is right?

Well you can forget that with George!!!

If you've got any favorite, homemade soul food recipes, he'd love to learn them

Particularly because he'd like to give cooking some American cuisine a whirl!

Also, you will NEVER catch him complaining about food being "too spicy"

If anything, he'd probably be the one making spice and seasoning recommendations to dish lmao

"Oh, but what if we add some cumin love?"

And stuff like that

You miiiiiight have to teach him the ropes on what make good dashes of flavor tho

Just because he's willing to eat spicy food doesn't mean he's very good at actually adding the correct spices and herbs lmao

He is trying tho!!

John

Now I'm not going to get too dark here, but we all know how bad things were for poc in the early 1900s

Like, even worse then today

You might be kind of scared dating a white man as a black woman during this time period

But let me tell you right now, John would do anything to make you feel safe

I don't even mean just with him

Like just out in the everyday world, he isn't shy about letting people know he's with you!

John simply just doesn't see color, and he treats you like he'd treat any other woman (so, like a Queen lol)

And anyone who has a problem with it, especially if they try to start something with you....

Oooooo boy 💀

I said I wouldn't get too dark here, but let's just suffice to say that I'm 100% sure the real, actual John Lennon would have no problem beating up some racists in your defense 😌

Paul

Paul is in the same boat as John tbh

Instead of just ignoring the racial injustices and try to live as happy a life as you can manage...

...Paul is interested in going the extra mile and being outspoken on these issues

Especially as he sees how they affect you!

Now you might be thinking, that sounds more like John tbh, but at this point in his life (early 1960s ish) John has yet to find his voice on the political platform

But Paul on the other hand is already charismatic and outspoken!

You guys would have a ball going to rallies and protests together

And once the equal rights activism truly kicks off, ooooo it's go time baby!!

Paul would do everything he could to be your biggest ally, and you'd have nothing to fear in the way of retaliatory violence or slander from others

All in all, it'd be just the two of you, changing the world for the better ♥️

Ringo

Now Ringo is just a simple man

A simple man, who loves your gorgeous locs

He's really impressed with all the work you put into maintaining it!

...As well as the amount of product required to maintain it

Well he figures he's got all this money, might as well put it to good use!

He'd totally take you shopping for all your butters and oils, anything you want

And as a bonus, he can help you style it of you'd like!

Although he may not be as dexterous as his string playing friends, he can do some braids and twists with a bit of patience and guidance

And if you'd rather he not, he 100% would still love to keep you company while you do your thing

Not only does he love spending the time with you, but all the creams and stuff smell pretty darn good to boot :)

#about time I get to posting some darn writing smh #the beatles #paul mccartney x reader #john lennon x reader #george harrison x reader #ringo starr x reader #black!reader #the beatles x reader #beatles headcannons

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mountain-man-cumeth · 4 years ago

Note

*holds anonymous microphone in front of you* what do you think of the arcana fandom saying it's racist to fetishize and exaggerate muriel's overall largeness?

lol ok i get these anon hates every once in a while but since this isnt a hate ask ill answer;

i find it racist to assume every artist is undeniably north american and has to abide by their preconceptions of biases.

i find it racist to group up every POC as one unified archetype, aka in muriels case BBC. (big black cock, a notorious tag in every porn site ever)

racist fetishization argument of making him a BIG BOI could apply to muriel if he was african descendant since west had antagonized black people as being savage brutes who’ll steal ur wives. (that is not a universal experience tho, black people suffer from different racist stereotypes in asia and middle east)**

that being said, muriel is asian.

do u know what are the western stereotypes of asian men? well, they aint it chief.

small size, small dick, submissive, super smart... like cmon im not european nor american and even i know these stereotypes. they are ‘fetishized’ for being cute lil twinks. (no shade to kpop stans, that industry caters to these ideas)

we can group up kazakhs with mongolians in this instance bcs they were under mongol dominion when west feared them profusely and had seen them as that villain dude in disneys mulan so u can say this doesnt apply but if your nation still have these weird misconceptions (mine sure doesnt tbh, i dont even think someone with muriels shade of skin would be considered POC here) its the problem of your people, not every individual ever in the world. if you rightfully see this as a problem then yes you should take steps to resolve it not by attacking artist but by attacking the fascism that systematically villanizes the ‘other’ in any shape or form.

aight what about kazakh discrimination in russia, china and mongolia, one might ask. and that would be another topic, the history and internal politics of these nations reach back to like 4th century, now idk much about it aside from middle school/high school history classes so its not my place to debate.

**on that note i still wouldnt condone these witch hunts even if i thought muriel fit the bill of a racist stereotype, its disrespectful to the artist to take away just one aspect of their character(such as appearance) and ignore all the rest(body language, mannerisms, personality etc.). sometimes art doesnt have to have a higher meaning, sometimes its just self indulgent, sometimes we have preferences and we depict them on paper its not our responsibility to make someone at the other side of the world feel self righteous. as long as there are asian men, big men and scruffy men there will be art of big scruffy asian men.

there will be exaggerated depictions of turkish construction workers, syrian beggars, mexican maids, indian scammers... because these people exist, they exist not because of white propaganda but because of white conquest, propaganda is made after, or to justify said conquest. they have different cultures, different stereotypes and you cant just reduce them to one slightly brown skin colour and say COMPUTER INDIAN BAD STEREOTYPE. the world around america is burning and theyre fighting over a loose splinter on their table.

tl,dr: POC isn’t one race.

#personal #rant #tw: racism #Anonymous

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blackhermionegrangers · 4 years ago

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anyway here are my thoughts on the final table after finishing it the other day

I’m not the first person to point this out but the fact that the show boasted about being a “global” competition but focused heavily on western cuisines was kinda annoying. And on top of that the final four ended up being 4 white men. It’s just like..... ok den. It is what it is but I just wish the show hadn’t gone on and on about how “global” it was when it really wasn’t *that* different from many other cooking shows in terms of cuisines shown lol

also that almost the majority of the last half of the show had no women in it...... I know the culinary world is still very sexist so I guess it’s not all on the show in terms of gender disparities but also considering that there were tons of arguments between the men on the show that never got shown but the one time there was tension between the only female team they gave it lots of airtime and played it up leads me to believe the show may have also had a misogyny problem 🤷🏿‍♀️

the judging on the show seemed so weird and inconsistent to me. Sometimes being traditional was a good thing that was praised, other times it was critiqued. Sometimes going outside the box and not being traditional was praised, sometimes it was critiqued. It just seemed like there weren’t consistent standards between the sets of judges (or even within a single episode!). I guess u could say it reflects real life or whatever bc every person who sits at ur restaurant is going to have different standards or ideas for what the meal should be but idk man.... there was just no standardization or consistent set of criteria which made it feel like u never knew what the judges were going to want or like or dislike

also the celeb “ambassador” judges thing was kinda iffy to me. Like, no disrespect to hasan minhaj or dax shepard or whoever but what the fuck do these people know about fine cuisine that I, as a professional chef on this show with possibly decades of experience, have to listen to your opinion 💀

but I guess u could argue the celeb’s provided an Everyman™️ perspective on it, as in how would the average person feel and react to the dishes the chefs were making because maybe the perspectives and thoughts and comments of a professional chef or food critic might not be super relatable to the average person so that’s what the celebs are for? Idk I’m of 2 minds on this

also speaking of inconsistent judging, when the French chef taste-tested Rafa and esdras’ food, she said she found it spicy, but then during the judging the reason she gave for eliminating them was that the food wasn’t spicy enough???????? My brother was so pissed about this lol

also the fact that the reason Shin and Ronald left was because the British chef didn’t like their presentation...... I get that all the dishes were good enough that nitty gritty details start to matter and someone had to go home, but come on bro 😭 was it really bad enough to justify kicking them off the show? Especially since the presentation that she didn’t like/get was them using a Japanese technique/style

in general with the judging being the way it was I always felt really bad when a team went home because it usually just felt like it was out of their hands bc it came down to whatever the judges felt like doing basically lol

also the way they decided who the winner was was so weird to me. They all talked about how Timothy doing a dish that he was familiar with and had done multiple times put him at a disadvantage but then the American chef just went “but is that a disadvantage tho???????? 🤔🤔🤔” and because they didn’t show the conversation that happened after that or how they came to a consensus in the end it just seemed like they all just went along with the American chef??? And we also didn’t hear enough from all of the chefs either. Idk the discussion was cut so short and was so rushed which is annoying and doesn’t make sense bc the whole season was leading to that moment.... they could’ve afforded to have a slightly longer episode (literally just an extra minute or two) if it meant giving us more of the decision making process.

it was an enjoyable watch but I found it to so be garish and melodramatic and over the top lol... also again going on about being a “global” competition while still being quite euro/western-centric was just.... the show came across as being a bit more proud of itself than it really deserved to be

i cannot BELIEVE those chefs were cooking in front of a live audience omg I would’ve been so nervous

I liked Darren but the amount of times he went on and on about “I’m a white guy making Japanese food, I had to fight to prove myself” was just..... it’s clear he had a lot of love and respect for the cuisine and acknowledged that he was just a student of it and didn’t delude himself into thinking he was doing something new or reinventing the wheel or whatever which was nice but just the amount of times he went on about the whole “I’m a white guy” thing was a bit much lol. it might’ve been the editing tho so idk

I know Charles and Rodrigo are probably a bit too pretentious for some people but I loved them sm 😭 I was so sad when they left

I also loved the Australian chefs so much 😭

hey Alex i am free on Thursday if you want to hang out please call me about hanging out on Thursday which is when I am free

In general I loved all the chefs tbh, the highlight of the show is getting attached to each contestant. I was always genuinely sad for each team that left

If they ever do any more seasons I will watch but it’s really not as groundbreaking or original or as fresh as they really tried to play it up as. It was definitely a bigger scale which was interesting to watch I guess but that’s really it lol

#the final table #shows

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dillydedalus · 3 years ago

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april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down... i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

#the books i read #long post #lol i keep forgetting to finish & post these #anyway gilbert fucking sucks! like his name is gilbert you can do better helen

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hoe-imaginess · 4 years ago

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hella replies

@shortb1tch

thank you!!!

@mimoslattte

thank you! <3 Yeah I’ve been thinking about this, but it would be really difficult with all the content lol

@deviousspleen

I honestly think about this sometimes but... unfortunately Tobirama is a pragmatist and he might feel like using that jutsu for anything... personal/intimate would sort of dishonor his work and legacy. Idk idk... i love the angst though

@lizzywisee

!!! someone else told me that this is happening I.... have no idea. It’s just tumblr being tumblr

GOOD that was the plan (((:

I think because he would, in the back of his mind, feel like it was a *cheap way* to get out of the responsibility of it all? Like, no he definitely doesn’t want kids, but now that there’s one on the way... he’s supposed to just be okay with getting rid of it? Just like that?

I think he’d mostly be bothered by not knowing that his girl was/did get an abortion, also. Like sure it may have taken care of the problem but.. he had no say in it so... that’s what gets him upset

He’s really just a bastard

Yeah I would say that’s a pretty good indicator of his occasional sexist attitude lol. I think he would expect less from a kunoichi simply because she’s a woman

Thank you!!!!

I feel very close to the work I put out on my blog, and the reason I would be leaving is because I don’t feel happy with the culture of readers on here just reading and not giving feedback, so that’s why I would delete the blog! It’s my work, ya feel? So I feel entitled to take it with me if I go

!!! THAT’S THE BEST. The quiet ones... yum....

There were a good amount of requests left so I really couldn’t pick them out and let you guys know, sorry! I have soooo much stuff in my inbox (personal messages from you guys and what not) that it’s really difficult to organize

AHHH THANK U!!! I think I have another threeway request for them I just can’t find it in my drafts ugh

AHHH THANKS SO MUCH. I fucking love Hawks so much. I got lots of goodies for him to post <3

I did consider this I.... may just have to write it....

HELLO EMMY THANK UUU

THANK U!! I love my boy Fat so much kjashdfkjas

AMERICAN HORROR STORY REALLY PUT ME ONTO THIS TOO... it’s gross but... I am also gross

!!!! I wish I could write spicier yandere I just... physically can’t bring myself to give up in-character vibes for yandere spice.. thank u tho <3

I’m at the point where I’m fine with just likes because I know some people don’t even do THAT. It’s super disheartening. The read and scroll culture on here is... in a word... gross

I’m really not sure tbh. It’s not on my to-do-list currently and I have alot of other projects I need/want to do, but I’ll definitely think about it

This is definitely something I can see him saying tbh but I don’t think he would ever carry through w it ngl

SAY LESS!!! They would be happy to help

this is..... such a TRUTH

I think they’re always out unless he detaches his feathers! I don’t think the wings themselves are retractable, if that’s what you mean

OH MY I ?? I’m very sorry but also very glad you liked it??? Yandere is tricky so I hope I did okay. Thank you! <3

!!! HE IS A NIPPY BOY!! Just imagine those teeth giving you the little nips.... s’cute

hello!!!! Yeah Tumblr is stupid like that ugh idk why. Welcome back <3

spoilers below for my archive fic if you haven’t read it already (I guess?) vvv

Well I!!! I actually don’t know. I really just left it up for interpretation. I’m sure they would get married and I’m sure they lived a relatively nice life together before Tobirama’s death . THANK YOU!!!!

ajkshfkjashfkjKASJHDKJFHSDJK !!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!

#fortunately I had these saved from before my box was purged #if you don't see your message here it's probably bc it got eaten with everything else :/#I do have another post of replies tho too so maybe wait for that

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epouvantes · 4 years ago

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❛ willa fitzgerald, cis woman, she/her ❜ was that charlie brodeur? the twenty-six year old nurse has been in town since birth. the human has a reputation for being kindhearted & quick-tempered. you know they’re around when you get flashes of ( messy buns, deep breaths, cracked iphone screen & fairy lights strung all over ). rumor has it, they have no affiliations. { samu, est, 25, she/they }

( OOC: TW: ANXIETY MENTION AT THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH. hi! i’m samu, i’m 25 and i use she/they pronouns! i’m so so so so so excited for this rp and for you all to meet my babies!!!!! i wanted to make this lil ooc section just to let y’all know that i’ll be posting longer and more detailed intro-like posts for my charas eventually, but i wanted to be able to give lil summaries and connection ideas before then so!!!!! there it is!!!!! thank u sm for reading!!!!! also if i ever message you to plot, which i’d like to do with everyone if my social anxiety allows it, pls don’t feel obligated to plot with me at all!!!!! i love connecting with other writers and stuff but i’ll completely understand if you’re not up to plot with me and my charas <33 ) ← this is the same ooc paragraph in all of my first three intros, so pls feel free to skip it! <3

brief introduction.

charlie’s mother was born and then spent all her life in ottawa, ontario, until she got pregant with charlie (original name is charlotte but charlie legally changed it as soon as she legally could after turning eighteen). isabelle, charlie’s mother, had a double citizenship (canada/usa) thanks to her mother (who she had a very complicated relationship with) being american, so when she basically ran away from home (although not really because she was twenty years old at the time), the move to the states was somewhat easy (or well, as easy as it could be).

charlie and her mother are very close!! kind of similar-ish to lorelai and rory in gilmore girls when it comes to closeness, except that they’re more like... soft, i guess? very intelligent and curious like the gilmore girls, sure, but not necessarily as quick-witted, humorous and energetic. well, isabelle sort of is a bit more so than charlie, but yes! basically, charlie and her mom are super close!

charlie’s mom (isabelle) made herself quite the stable home in blackthorne, and it’s been a home to her and charlie ever since they arrived (whilst charlie was still a fetus, of course)! nowadays, the two of them don’t live together anymore, but they see a lot of each other and get along rlly rlly well! i don’t want to set isabelle’s job in stone since i’ll probably make a wanted connection for her, but i’m picturing her doing something either really artsy or people-focused! or even both?

charlie has known she wanted to be a nurse since the age of thirteen. back in her pre-teens, isabelle and charlie’s elderly neighbour, mrs. cunningham, got quite sick and though charlie obvi didn’t do physical tasks to help out, just holding mrs. cunningham’s hands and being there for her felt right. charlie has always felt best when she's helping or caring for others, and that doesn’t seem close to change any time soon!

she was honestly a bit difficult to get along with when she was younger? bc as kind as she tended to be, she got angry VERY easily, especially when it came to other kids being careless and not paying attention to others. like, since childhood, there’s nothing that frustrates charlie more than people not taking others into consideration. also, um... when she gets mad, she gets MAD. she’s a fire sign (zodiac wise) and it really, REALLY shows lmao!!!!! she also tends to be quite dramatic and theatrical when it comes to her anger so idfjlkdjlkfdj it can lowkey be entertaining for those not involved in whatever is going on!

rn she’s living in a two bedroom apartment with two roommates! i picture charlie sharing a bedroom with one of her roommate (and can they PLEASE have bunk beds iM begging sjdljfdljfdlkfdj), and for the other roommate to have their own bedroom! i feel like both bedrooms would be REALLY small, but that actually all the other rooms would be quite roomy? and that it’d be a super well lit apartment? and like definitely not high class or anything, but DEFINITELY homey!

can be a bit reckless when it comes to her own safety, especially if others are in danger (she does have a bit of a hero complex), which is DEF not ideal right now lmao dflkjdlkfjlkdfj

loves partying btw!!!! she works rlly rlly hard as a nurse and is generally quite chill outside of work, but she feels the need to let loose, like really loose at least once every two weeks or more!

connection ideas.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND: along with her mother, this is the person charlie trusts and cherishes the most. and also lbr she can be a TINY bit more of herself with her best friend than with her mother, bc no matter how much she loves her mother, she’s still her mother. and this best friend would actually probably get along with isabelle really well too! i didn’t necessarily picture charlie’s best friends as one of her roommates, but if you’d like to go for that too, i definitely wouldn’t be opposed! ( 00 / 01 )

ROOMMATES: as described a lil bit above, charlie shares a two-bedroom apartment with two other roommates! the rooms are all pretty spacey, except for the bedrooms which are on the small size! still, charlie shares one of the bedrooms with one of her roommates (probably with bunk beds!!!!!! the adult-y kind?? where the bottom bunk is like a bit bigger??), and the other roommate has a room of their own!! the apartment is also really well-lit, with a lot of well-placed window, and though it’s definitely not luxurious, it 100% has a very homey feel to it! ( 00 / 02 )

COLLEAGUE(S): people who charlie works with! other nurses would definitely be interesting because they can unwind together and understand each other in a way that other people can’t? ooooh, although there could also maybe be a “rival” nurse to charlie for whatever reason we can work out together (bc charlie is caring af so maybe if your character is more ambitious and has a different way of dealing with patients - which is probably just as good as charlie’s but only different - so maybe they clash about that?) but also!!!!!! dOCTORS PLEASE!!!!!! knowing some people in health services, the way doctors act with nurses can vary quite intensely (from what i know which ofc is only a small sample tho so!!), but like....... mayhaps a doctor who really respects nurses and understands how they can have a unique point of view when it comes to what’s happening to the patients, and who tries to work with the nurses as a team!! therefore a doctor who charlie probably really admires and appreciates!!!! on the other hand, though...... a doctor who seems to think they’re above nurses (whether they really are or not is up to you, but it could be the impression that charlie is getting!) like maybe a doctor who doesn’t take kindly to being questioned, especially not by people who aren’t doctors and like...... lmao charlie doesn’t care!!!! she’ll question you!!!! (also lowkey..... this is FAR from necessary but i just stumbled upon a list of enemies to lovers novels and this seems like such a cliché plot but slfkjlxjfkljdf i wouldn’t be opposed to that if it works out with the chemistry and all of that? i’m not into planning long term romantic plots bc i feel like it hinders things and what not, but! it can be a possibility if you’d like that, maybe?) ( 00 / ?? )

EX-FIANCÉ(E): charlie’s high school sweetheart!! they started dating when charlie was fifteen (and your chara was in the same year as charlie but ig depending on the time of year they might have been the same age or a few months older or younger sflkdfjlkjfd), and they got engaged when they were twenty-one years old! charlie’s mother actually didn’t really approve of the union, even though she loved your chara, as she thought they were too young, but back then, charlie didn’t care about what others said about she and your chara’s relationship! they were actually engaged for two years before they both realized that they kept on pushing off the wedding. and it wasn’t just because they were scared; they just weren’t sure they actually wanted it anymore. then, they decided to take a “break”. that was around three years ago, and the two have barely talked to each other since, avoiding each other’s stares when they walk by each other on the street, something that happens much too often to their taste. they both still have their rings, but i feel like they’re probably just holding on to them out of nostalgia, because it seems quite clear that their relationship is over. problem is, they were close friends before they started dating, and they honestly miss each other’s friendship. also!! i don’t have a gender preference for your chara tbh!! at the age of nine, charlie loudly announced that she liked girls after climbing on the tallest tree in the park during a special school outing (to the park a block away from their school..... ok it wasn’t that special of an outing, but most of the school was still there in the park!) and at the age of fourteen she officially came out as bisexual! ( 00 / 01 )

EDIT: i wanna post this now so i won’t make a lil paragraph for it right now, but!!!! party friends is def an idea that would work very very well!

i can’t think of anything else right now, but i’m definitely open to many many more ideas! these were just the few things i could come up with right now!

#blackthorneintro #general: introduction.#general: character development.#charlie brodeur: all.#charlie brodeur: intro.#charlie brodeur: character development.

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fioress · 4 years ago

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chicago’s very own fiore gattuso has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 2020 bentley continental gt v8 in red , welcome ! your resemblance to lorenzo zurzolo is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re impatient , but being cunning might help you . i think being a libra explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be bloodshot baby blue eyes, long drives without a specific destination, getting high by the beach. ( i have been conning money out of older women and men ever since my parents disowned me ) & ( cismale + he/him )

tw : abuse, homophobia

full name : fiore emiliano luca gattuso ( first name pronounced fee-oh-reh, also see here! )

nicknames : fifi, emmy ( by people who know his middle name ), some people might say... flower boy ( fiore literally means flower in italian ) 😳

gender : cismale

height : 5 ′ 8

age : 21

birthday : october 14 , 1998

zodiac : libra ( leo moon, aquarius ascendant )

right handed or left handed : left handed

eye color : baby blue

hair color : basically dark blonde / light brown

piercing & tattoos : the libra symbol on his left wrist, a cartilage piercing on his right ear

languages spoken : italian ( native tongue ), english, spanish, sicilian ( after many summers spent in his parents’ summer house in sicily )

sexuality : bisexual

place of birth : napoli, italia ( naples, italy in english )

last 3 songs listened to : dimmi che mi ami by dj matrix ( a full on fucking italian boy tbh ), talk is cheap by chet faker, west coast by lana del rey

character inspo : maxxie oliver from skins u.k , adam groff from sex education ( think season 2 adam ), alyssa foley from the end of the fucking world, david rose from schitt’s creek, michael kelso from that 70′s show, a mix of nick miller & winston bishop from new girl, maeby funke from arrested development

♡ so fiore was born to an american mother named lindsey harrison & a fully italian father named gian gattuso. his mother is a very well known politician & his father is heir of a very popular gas company, literally named gattuso gas ( yikes lol ). besides that, he is also a preacher. without saying much, his parents are very well off

♡ fiore grew up with anything he’s ever wanted ( materialistically, of course ). besides that, his parents genuinely weren’t the best of people. his mother stole millions from the so called campaigns she ran & was a generally very corrupt politician, his father treated his employees like shit & was a pretty hateful person altogether

♡ they were people who expected a lot out of their only son, which made fiore feel an insane amount of pressure from the very start. at a very young age, he showed characteristics lots of boys his age didn’t show. he did things like peeing while sitting down instead of standing up, preferred to play with dolls instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, got along better with girls, preferred to watch shows that were considered ‘girly’, etc etc.

♡ they were very harmless things honestly, things that most parents would laugh about & turn a blind eye. however, fiore really wasn’t that lucky when it came to his parents. any time he would do anything his parents claimed a ‘normal boy wouldn’t do’, he would get a huge lecture & a beating to go with it. needless to say, he learned to hide a lot of who he really was from a very young age

♡ he did a lot of things to seek the approval of his parents. he wasn’t smart academically ( dumb boi 101 tbh ), but he tried to make them happy in other ways. fiore was never fond of sports at all, but he started playing tennis at seven years old, because it made his parents happy. truth be told, he hated tennis with every fiber of his being, but again, he did this, simply because it satisfied his parents

♡ fiore grew up trying to be the perfect son, considering the fact his parents were very much in the public eye of everyone. it was all smiles for the pictures, but behind closed doors, he really wasn’t the happiest boy ever

♡ simply put, he has always known that he likes boys. he likes girls too, don’t get him wrong, but he knew, literally since he could remember, that he also had a thing for guys too. of course, he knew this wouldn’t settle well at all with his extremely strict & religious parents, so he buried his feelings incredibly deep

♡ he has a lot of charm & wit & found himself getting into relationships quicker than most of his friends. he briefly dated a girl when he was fourteen, but it was when he was sixteen that things really began getting, dare i say, spicy?

♡ there was an american boy new to his very #elite school & if you guessed it, they began to date! yup, his first boyfriend at sixteen years old. fiore was basically living two lives at this point. at school, he was himself, loud & proud, but when he got home, the facade began. the way he would switch up as soon as he entered the front door to his house was honestly shockingly scary

♡ he really felt himself falling in love with this boy even though they were both fairly young. they snuck around forever. when no one was home, he would sneak him into his room to have sex, sneak out of his house when his parents were asleep, all that fun stuff. their relationship was forbidden ( at least to fiore’s parents ). this is where it gets juicy af tho, hear me out

♡ so one day, fiore & him get really really drunk & honestly? video record themselves having sex! 😊 they didn’t do this to post it anywhere or show anyone or anything, they really just did it for themselves. they made a few copies & kept it for themselves ( stupid boys, i know! ), but they really felt like they would get married & all that gooey lovey dovey shit so they did it because yolo i guess? this is where it gets peak #juicy

♡ so fiore & him are walking back from practice. this is a time where fiore knows no one is home & no one is coming home for a while, so when they get to his house & see his father’s car parked outside, he lowkey panics a little. of course he makes the guy leave & goes inside to see what’s going on

♡ his father asks him to come upstairs & surprisingly, leads him into his room. he says something along the lines of ‘i just want to show you this so i can hear your explanation on what the fuck this is’ & this is when fiore’s entire life practically takes a 360. his father turns on his tv & legit starts playing his sex tape with his boyfriend. just picture this though; your extremely religious & hateful father & you sitting on your bed, watching your gay sex tape with your boyfriend

♡ obviously, this news isn’t well taken by his father. to make a long story short, he gets his ass beat. like, literally almost dies type shit. when this happened, he was seventeen, almost eighteen. he knew if that was ever discovered by his parents, it wouldn’t go well, but he really didn’t think them discovering his sexuality would be that brutal

♡ his parents basically disown him at that moment. they bought him a ticket to chicago & told him they never wanna see him again. it’s sad, but he packed his things & left in two days to go live with his cousin in chicago. citizenship wasn’t a problem because he had dual citizenship due to his mother being american

♡ it doesn’t really take an expert to figure out that fiore did not take this move well at all. for months, he was really depressed. he wouldn’t go out & would just lay in bed for the longest time. he was really hurt by everything that happened & it took him a while to recover. he has also lived in italy his whole life & wasn’t really used to life in america at all, but after like the fourth month of just feeling sorry for himself, it was his cousin who snapped him back to reality

♡ slowly but surely, he began putting himself out there. his english honestly #sucked when he first got to america, but it’s gotten a lot better since then ( he still has a pretty deep italian accent though ). at first, he began working at a pizza place, but fiore slowly began to realize how much he despised working. his entire life, he received everything on a silver plater with pure golden spoons, so this? he was for sure not used to it at all. again, his life completely did a 360. he went from living in a three story mansion in the most prestigious part of rome to living in a very shitty part of chicago, broke almost always, & working a job he hated with everything he had, splitting rent with his cousin

♡ fiore did not want this at all for himself. it wasn’t until he went out clubbing ( fake id & all ), that one his friends showed him the wonders of conning people. they walked into the bar with twenty bucks and left with four thousand dollars

♡ quickly, fiore began to learn his friends’ ways. his looks, personality & his thick italian accent helped him tremendously; it was like people literally couldn’t get enough of him. soon enough, he was conning & finessing the fuck out of older men & women for their money. he once walked into a casino with five dollars and walked out with over twelve thousand, & it was only because he stayed for like an hour only

♡ finessing people became a huge hobby of his. it was with all this money that he bought himself a luxury car & jump started his model & influencer career. it was also with this money that him & his cousin ditched chicago & moved into a much better apartment in new york. with his looks & persona, he gained followers like crazy & posted videos on youtube as well, getting sponsorships & recognition easier than he expected. he was literally living off his looks & his personality & honestly? he was here for it!

♡ there is still a part of fiore that has a lot of issues & trauma. honestly mommy & daddy issues af, but he doesn’t talk about this at all. no one really knows how he came up or where his family is & he keeps it this way, dodging questions about his personal life as much as he can

♡ in a way, he is kind of relieved with everything that happened with his parents because now, he’s completely free to be himself & do whatever the fuck he wants, knowing very well they can’t really touch him now. of course, it still left a mark that he’s never going to be able to erase or forget ( both in his heart & on his body too ), but he feels free for once in his life & he’s honestly kind of happier now

♡ relationship wise, he really doesn’t commit to anyone. after practically being forced to leave his now ex boyfriend at almost 18, he kind of feels like he doesn’t deserve love? it’s really fucked up but he’s genuinely convinced that no one is ever going to genuinely love him or want to be with him so he just avoids any romantic relationship of any kind, usually just hooking up with people & then leaving as soon as it’s over. the truth is that he really does want to be loved, accepted & cared for by someone he loves, accepts & cares for as well, but will it ever happen if he continues pushing people away? probably not tbh

♡ he is a fucking drinker & hella pot smoker!! legit give him some alcohol & weed he’s happy. he always has either one on him, or both tbh

♡ this is all that’s coming to mind rn but underneath is his bio!!

fiore was born to lindsey and gian gattuso in naples, italy. from a very young age, he showed characteristics most boys his age didn’t show. he would pee sitting down, every time he would visit his cousins, he would rather play dolls with them instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, watched things that were considered ‘girly’, etc. of course, this never settled well with his extremely religious parents, and every time he would do something even remotely different than a ‘regular’ boy would do, he would get a huge lecture, and a beating to go with it. that being said, fiore was quick to learn to hide a lot of who he really was. he absolutely despised tennis, but he played it anyways, and he did it, simply because it made his parents happy. the gattuso’s had a ton of money, so he played tennis in nearly all of europe. he has always known that he likes boys, maybe even a little bit more than he likes girls. literally since he’s had a sense of judgement, he’s just known. of course, he kept this a secret, practically living a double life, being himself at school and someone completely different at home. it didn’t take long for him to get a boyfriend, and soon, he found himself slowly falling in love. secretly sneaking him into the house when his parents weren’t home to have quickies, holding hands with him down the school hallways, and even lying to his parents and telling them he was going going to tennis practice just to hang out with him. however, one mistake costed him, well, everything.

they were drunk and goofing around, and decided to record themselves having sex. it was innocent and pure, both of them just making love to each other in the rawest, loveliest form. the two boys made copies of it, and fiore kept one for himself. one day, when he was trying to sneak his boyfriend into the house, he saw his dad’s car parked outside, which was odd because he was never home around that time. his boyfriend left, and he went to go investigate. his father was beyond calm, and bought him up to his room. his room. fiore was confused as his father told him to sit down on the bed, and soon, his worst nightmare became a reality. his father began playing his damn sex tape on his dvd player, and to say he was mortified was an understatement. he was humiliated, and most of all, afraid. it came without much warning, but soon, his father was throwing punches to his face, his stomach, everywhere, dragging him down the stairs just for it to continue. all he saw was blood. for the first time in forever, fiore truly felt like he had hit rock bottom. they took away his cellphone, any type of technology he had to communicate with was gone, and before he knew it, he was being shipped off to america, completely cut off by his parents.

fiore definitely didn’t take the move so well. he was a depressed mess. he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, and over all, just felt out of place. it took him a pretty long time, but eventually, he began adjusting. of course he was still super hurt over everything that had happened, his parents cutting him off, him being away from his now ex boyfriend, his first true love, but time luckily healed most of his pain, and soon, he found himself bettering his english, making friends, and fitting right in. at least he didn’t have to play tennis here. living with his cousin wasn’t so bad either. they constantly smoked, drank like there was no tomorrow, and he even managed to land him a job at a pizza delivery place. fiore hated this job though, but after a night our with friends, he found himself learning the art of conning and finessing older men and women. he does this like there’s no tomorrow, the money he made from all these schemes helping him jumpstart his career as an influencer and model, which bought him back to his typical luxurious lifestyle. fiore is just trying to get by, one day at a time.

extra spice:

#wealthyhq:intro #i rlly am a clown tbh LMFAOO

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tslasvegas · 4 years ago

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Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier

Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...

That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward

I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`

A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out?

Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!

....five seconds later

I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk

I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!

My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand

....five seconds later

Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof

If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.

...five seconds later

UGH just rename Luxor to Loser

Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....

Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

youtube

All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.

So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.

We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.

Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.

UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao

These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.

....five seconds later

Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.

Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay

Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING.

....five seconds later

Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.

Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.

It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...

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