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Hey, I read your post about the harmful impact of saying "going nonverbal" and the like. As a low-needs autistic person who has speech loss episodes, it was really helpful in educating me on circumstances that I never considered, and I really appreciate that!
I have a bit of a question, and if you feel uncomfortable answering for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask. I also apologize in advance if I say anything disrespectful, and if you can correct me on those things I will be glad to hear it so I can learn to be better.
I have DID and therefore am part of a system. We are all autistic, though we each showcase symptoms differently. Some of our alters showcase symptoms more severely than others, in that they cannot speak and cannot communicate their needs because of various reasons (severe dissociation with body, trauma response, etc). Since I now know nonverbal isn't an appropriate term for us, I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on how we can describe those headmates. I'm not sure if they fully fit saying that they have "speech loss episodes", because they are fully unable to communicate at all times (even with the rest of us), though they are not always "in the driver's seat" of the body, so to speak. What do you think would be an appropriate term for them? (I know this might be a bit out-of-bounds of your experience as it's more about dissociative disorders than autism, but if you have any insight, that would be great! I definitely don't want to be using the wrong terminology.)
Again, apologies if this is in any way disrespectful. I see now what you mentioned in your post about how true nonverbal folks are drowned out by folks with speech loss episodes, so I figured it would be best to ask you directly, but if you are unable to answer for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask! No worries.
We hope you're having a nice day!
no worries, not out of bounds for own experience
yep, you exactly right that alter / headmate / system member / etc who can’t mouth speak in system that can mouth speak, is not nonverbal. even if feel like or is own separate person, even if don’t have so called body verbality because so blendy. — just like how alter who can’t hear in hearing system not Deaf, how darker alter in white skin system not Black or Brown or Asian etc. (though these also continue be issue in system community) — n really glad you noticed (genuine)
personally find best n clearest say “[alter] cannot speak”.
have heard people try coin new adjective identity words for this experience. can look those up if want, but for me they 1) too many n confusing n new n thus inaccessible to keep up so don’t, 2) niche micro label which have its purpose n you may or may not find useful, but in situation of limited communication n time, give unheard of term you then have to define take more time n effort than just quick “can’t speak”, 3) some of them suspiciously way too close to “nonverbal” “nonspeaking”
thank you for question!
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wallbeatjournal · 6 months ago
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Are true riverdale fans of the opinion it is a very good and nearly flawless show or does being a true riverdale fan mean being able to mock writing choices
it's long-running serial television plotted a season/half at a time so definitely not even "nearly" flawless.
BUT. i'm not doing combat with the writing team. i'm not actively reading against the text the way i have to in order to enjoy something like supernatural or the 90s robin comics or the fucking sopranos, which are patriarchal christiancore copworld rapeworld white supremacist horrorshows that hate their minority audiences, with like 2 good creatives involved and martyring themselves to fight the good fight on sparse rare installments if you try to approach them sincerely.
riverdale writing staff are like a favorite smart problematic tumblr mutual to me. I don't always like what's on their blog or who they're referencing. but we're in the same community and i'm interested and inspired and i trust their agenda overall, even when i see shit i wouldn't have fucking posted. but bc i'm not being condescended to or actively spited i'm not gonna condescend to or spite them, you know?
i expect rvd to age like twin peaks (another very uneven, highly referential serial juggling a couple of intensely cool metanarratives on top of its core story). and twin peaks fandom mocks twin peaks all the time. twin peaks includes some CLUNKY shit. it's kitsch. it's camp. it has a second season that is largely ASS. james is there. and on top of that it also includes some genuinely offputting-to-me stuff that just bothers me to sit through, even though i feel like i understand and respect what they're going for with it. i just don't want to watch someone sweep the fucking bar for minutes and minutes as entertainment. OK!!?
...so yeah. mock riverdale but in the right spirit. is that an answer? do i sound like i'm chugging the flavoraid koolaid fresh-aid? probably.
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tinyfantasminha · 2 months ago
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#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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fearandhatred · 5 months ago
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the-worms-in-your-bones · 5 months ago
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Days without getting water all over myself while cleaning the penguin enclosure: 0
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crescentfool · 11 months ago
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on spoiler tags
since reload is coming out soon, i wanted to give people some heads up for tags i'll be using as a courtesy. please curate your experience accordingly! if you haven't used the mute feature, here's how to 👍
i will continue to use #persona 3 for all posts related to p3 (it's my main tag)
for posts about reload specifically, i'll be using #persona 3 reload, but it might also be worthwhile to mute the abbreviations #p3r and #p3re.
for the people who don't know anything about p3, i will attempt to tag spoilers for p3's events as #persona 3 spoilers but i cannot guarantee that i will remember to do so...
i hope everyone enjoys their experience with the game! i will still post here occasionally, but in general i'll be steering clear of socmed until i'm finished with reload.
tangentially related- i expect splatoon 3's side order dlc to come out during this time. all stuff related to that dlc will be tagged with #side order and will also be tagged as #splatoon (main tag)
thank you for your time! enjoy gaming, and remember to drink water 🥤
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derpinette · 10 months ago
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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littleoddwriter · 11 months ago
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Because I keep questioning my own writing a lot; especially in terms of ending a short story... sometimes, it really is easier to just treat what you write like a movie or a TV show you're watching. Especially if it's a short fic that is basically just a single scene. Like... Would there be a scene change now and it'd feel complete? If yes, then it's an appropriate ending. If no, then either you write one more paragraph or let it rest for a bit, come back to it, and see how you feel. Or you find a spot a little earlier because sometimes scenes can drag on for too long and need to be cut shorter in order to be satisfying and make sense.
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website-com · 1 year ago
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#photos of my guitar my dad posted to his blog years back when he bought it#it’s the most beautiful guitar in the world. it feels warm and alive to play#as you can see in the first two pics it used to have a newer pickup installed on the bottom. luckily he found an era appropriate online#it’s from 82 if you were curious#it says squire on the headstock but it was made on the fender line. they bought squire out and swapped in the name soon after this#but he got it a little cheaper than it was worth at the time because people aren’t as autistic as him and don’t know about production lines#basically it wasn’t brand name#basswood body and dark rosewood on the neck 😋✌️#it’s actually a replication of a ‘62 model! which was 20 years old at the time. mines now twice that. isn’t that incredible#i actually saw a modern fender replication of this exact model in an op shop yesterday#for more or less exactly how much this was bought for#dad finished his blog post by saying he thinks this is better made than the original. and despite not knowing the og i’m inclined to agree#people in the comments of his post are saying that this era was supposed to be something special. hehe. they’re right#i’ve played many guitars. i own this one because my dad collects them and he let me try them all out#and i have a lot of friends who play guitar and ive hung out with them to do so#and i’ve never felt one like mine before or since. it’s so obviously beautiful#when i picked it out i hadn’t played much but i knew right away how good it was. i prefer strat bodies because i can hug my torso around#them without getting poked like a tele and the necks are thinner than acoustics (small hands. bad)#unless we’re talking parlour#love a wee parlour. pa has a little one he got for 30 bucks that’s one of my favourites of his#he’s insanely good at finding deals#he fixes them all up#anyway. the body feels#how would you even describe it#heavy. and alive. warm and wet and still full of sap#i feel like it’s breathing#it’s sort of the only thing that motivates me to be better. i could cry just thinking about it. i want to be good enough to play it
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125storejuice · 6 months ago
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Okay small rant time !!!!
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ayahimes · 1 year ago
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pops my head in here
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coolauntlilith · 1 year ago
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Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol
#mostly just the part where Allura is assigning pilots to lions#why lol. the first five people who show up are just perfect fits?? hate it lol#i have no au plot ideas but itd have made more sense to draw out the forming of voltron. like for a longer time. like its the s1 finale#and to be traveling looking for appropriate pilots#or the s2 finale? like what if the original gang somehow stayed in contact despite not being Voltron paladins and they proved being the best#team despite not piloting immediately. i feel like a stronger plot of their forming teamwork outside of being Voltron would have also made#their friendships seem more real too lmao#like what if Lance IS Blue's pilot bit hes the only one for a long time. the other lions couldn't actually *just be* located#*but. not bit. and what if Pidge runs off in a stolen vessel to find her dad and brother. what if Shiro isnt.. so flat as a character and is#desperate to find his old team and runs off with them to help out and free others#Keith could somehow get involved with The Blades a lot sooner#and Hunk finds his footing as a leader in rebellion organization. i hate that he was just the funny guy allll the way thru#also (still not a plot bc my brain is unorganized lol) Allura doesnt die. Shiro actually gets to be gay with a husband. and we either need#to not make Lotor a villain or just go all out on making him the worst. i personally dont want him to be a villain bc it was stupid lol#also PULEEEAASE Lance is bi. Lance “I'm just getting a feel for the stick” *obsessed with his rival who doesnt even know he exists* McClain#i want to see him get over his crush on Allura within like 6 episodes and then see him making out with the mermaids then Keith when everyone#starts reuniting lol. my bicon Lance deserves to kiss mermaids like we all do and then get on when the otp lol#now im nostalgic for s1 VLD vibes. ya know. before hell lol#it really just gets worse after ... s3? everyone feels different. i usually tolerate up to about the end of s3 before i feel like its donezo#aunt posting#vld#voltron: legendary defender
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teenagefeeling · 1 year ago
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instagram just recommended me the account of my childhood bully and lol, she literally has not changed one single bit since we were like 8
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oflgtfol · 1 year ago
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it is really unfortunate the way suicidality is talked about nowadays because it’s either all a joke so it’s hard to discuss in a serious capacity or it’s so upsettingly serious that you can’t even discuss it without fear of like being institutionalized
#brot posts#im really glad to say this but ive had such a huge improvement this past month that like#for the first time in YEARS. i am not suicidal#dont know if its permanent but like it genuinely feels permanent because i have not gone this long without#thinking about it at least in passing#to go this long without a single thougjt of it at all feels like its permanent and i have to remind myself its literally been A Month#but anyway#sorry i saw a post thats only tangentially related to this but im like. irked right now#like its hard to stress this in the current har har i m gonna kill myself era. but like if you seriously think negatively about#people who are suicidal or have killed themselves; if you're religious and believe suicide is a mortal sin; if you cannot offer#any sort of reasonable sympathy for someone who is suicidal#then like. im sorry! but that is ableism!#it feels kinda wild to associate ableism with suicidality what with the current environment and weird funny-zation of being suicidal#but like legitimately. this is a mental illness. it is not a laughing matter and it should be met with kindness and an appropriate#level of weight that it deserves - not levity. not annoyance. and not brushing it off for whatever reason#im saying this with the clear head that i now have a month into zero suicidal thoughts after years of daily suicidal thoughts#having that stark contrast in the quality of my life really shines a light on just how utterly fucked it was to live like that#and it really smarts at me to finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel and then have people act like it wasnt as bad as it was#people who have never experienced it before themselves - like who are you to tell me my own life and experiences and illness?#to act like it wasnt even an illness in the first place?
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cowardstiel · 2 years ago
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11:30pm night b4 my bday (✌️)and i’m holding back tears bc i’ll never be 22 and listening to taylor swift 22 again. now i really will be feeling like i’m 22 which is still a slay but i’m just lamenting the passage of time ig
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giraffeter · 1 year ago
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I often see posts about curating your own online experience that make the point, “content creators aren’t your parents.” And, yes, that is absolutely true! And I try not to be like “as a parent,“ but as a parent…
EVEN PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE RESPONSIBLE READING/VIEWING BEHAVIOR. NOT filter everything ahead of time for their kid.
When my kiddo was 5, his pediatrician was asking him the usual Well Child Visit questions (“What are your favorite foods? What do you do to get your body moving? Do you know what to do if you get lost in a public place?” Etc.) and she asked, “What do you do if you see something on TV that scares or upsets you?”
I piped up like, “Oh, he doesn’t watch TV without one of us in the room,” which was true at the time and is still largely true now. She said, “Yes, but that won’t always be the case, so make sure you’re talking to him about what to do if he sees something that upsets him.”
So we started talking to him about that, and the answer is simple: “Turn it off or leave the room, and talk to someone you trust about what you saw and what you’re feeling.”
The answer is NOT “Ask your parents to make sure you never see anything upsetting again,” because that’s just not possible — and ultimately that would be doing the kid a disservice, since sooner or later he’s going to be out in the world where we can’t control what he watches or reads. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to make sure he’s watching/reading age-appropriate stuff, it just means that’s not the only safeguard he has — and that’s a good thing.
So yes, content creators aren’t your parents and aren’t responsible for making sure you never see anything you don’t like — but also, your own parents should have taught you what to do when that happens. So if they didn’t, take it from me, your internet mom:
Turn it off.
Walk away.
Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
And leave the person who created the thing that upset you alone.
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