#i feel like this got long and i only speak in nonsense rambles so hopefully it makes even a sliver of sense Tumblr posts

[tessarichardss]

new york’s very own tessa richards was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to zoey deutch ! you may know them as @tessarichards or hitting the front page of tmz as ex-reality star rumored to have moved to new york for an internship with hassenfeld children’s hospital . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also tenderhearted . things that would paint a better picture of you would be endless nights you’ll never forget, sunflowers, running barefoot through an open field . ( cisfemale + she/her  ) +  (  saxon , twenty-six , she/her , cst )

Out Of Character

Hello bbies! 🥰 My name is Saxon and I’d like you to meet the absolute labor of my love Tessa and love her even though she doesn’t deserve it! We are always open for connections, ideas or plots so please, please, please do not hesitate to hit me up if you want to conjure something up with this lovable and ridiculous energetic puppy. I look forward to roleplaying with you and your children!

Basic Information

Full Name: Tessa Grace Richards.

Nickname(s): Tess.

Birthday: Febuary 10th, 1996. 

Orientation: Heterosexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, Spanish.

Background

So Tessa was born to an unwed couple who were in their mid 30′s at the time, her mom thought the two of them were hopelessly in love until Tessa was four and dude just dipped? Her mom came home one day and all his stuff was gone, no note or anything, he drained their account and they haven’t ever heard from him since.

This obviously fucked Tessa up young because she has mad issues with love meaning anything and also abandonment, like she definitely doesn’t sleep well at night because she spent years waking up and running to the window every time she saw car lights, thinking it was him coming home.

Her mom is an absolute saint of a woman however (think Lorelai from Gilmore Girls meets Donna  Sheridan from Mamma Mia), just an absolute quirky angel of a woman who definitely took in and helped abandoned animals but was also the place all the kids in town knew they could go if they had shitty parents/living situations or just a bad day and they needed a safe place to go? So obviously she stepped up and took down all dudes pictures and just raised Tessa like the single boss she is.

Tessa grew up into like an angel of a kid but oh buddy was she a chaotic one. Total tomboy, full of insane energy and personality, always on the move and exploring and doing things she shouldn’t be. Definitely the type to show up back at home as the suns going down just covered in dirt and bumps and bruises. 100% knocked her own baby teeth out from falling and slamming her face and had two front silver teeth as a little kid.

She was never very girly and because she grew up in this southern town that was just full of very critical asshole kids from more well-off families than her own was, particularly the girls who were very prissy, she definitely ended up clicking more with boys and quickly became ‘one of the guys’. Like undoubtedly had an all male friend group and was definitely the girl that girlfriends would be paranoid about while all the dudes were like confused as to how their girls were jealous because Tessa was just like another guy/little sibling, there was no interest on either end.

She had two shitty relationships as a teenager, the first cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to have sex and then the second whom she actually gave it up to, turned out to just be with her on a bet to see how long it would take him to get in her pants? She ended up punching dude in the face when she found out and broke his nose and asshole’s family actually wanted to press charges until Mama Richards shut the shit down.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT MENTION Has slight anger management issues? Like she’s chill but when she blows up man does she blow up. Pushed a girl down a flight of stairs at school after she made a remark about a friend who had tried to commit suicide, the family did press charges this time and Tessa had to go to anger management classes and serve community service hours. She also got kicked out of school and just decided not to go back, went online and just got her GED at seventeen instead.

She was (and still is) very close and attached to her mom, absolute most important person in her life, but she worried about her so much her mom realized she probably wasn’t ever planning on leaving? So her mom got the help of her friends and they actually filled out an application for her to go onto a reality tv show? Seems crazy but each season took place in a different part of the world and her mom knew she wanted to travel but would never make the decision herself so when she got cast her mom was just like “lol here you go bye now”.

She hated it at first because she had grown so used to Texas and the country and her friends and making sure her mom was okay that it gave her a lot of anxiety and stress but she actually fell in love with it? Made a lot of close friends, became a fan favorite of sorts and would you believe it, the dumbass fell in love.

This boy wormed his way into her heart and it was a kind of a slightly unstable relationship because she would try and push away from him and her feelings but he always drew her back? He even proposed after like months of them being together and she panicked and ran but still he drew her back and they agreed that they should chill with the idea of engagement/marriage? He ended up leaving the show after like their fourth messy break up? And she, would you believe it, followed. The two ended up sleeping together but she was overly aware of the fact that he wasn’t actually in love with her anymore so she saved herself any awkward conversation and further heartbreak by just dipping before he woke up. 

After this, Tessa returned to Texas and spent a solid week just out partying and drinking with friends and suddenly - BAM, she was having a one night stand with a complete stranger which was rather out of pocket for her and then even more suddenly - BAM, a pregnancy with no clue as to who the child’s father was. Thankfully it ended up being the one night stand’s and he turned out to be an incredible guy and father.

Obviously she never returned to the show and focused instead on becoming a mother and setting up a future for herself and her child.

She’s always been a big fan of kids (worked for a daycare after school, actually helped start up a charity that works with orphans/orphanages while on the show) and so she decided that she wanted to be a child life specialist and started attending school during her pregnancy and the two years that followed.

She ended up having a little girl named Addison, this child is her whole world and she’s 1000% the mom that posts about their kid too much on social media but she’s 100% turned Tessa’s life around and helped her mature in ways she wouldn’t have without her and she just loves her kid more than anything/anyone else. 

She assumed her life would remain in Texas until a trip to New York a few months back to visit Alex Morgan (who remarked on the fact that she should move in) ended with her packing up her daughter and her bags within less than a month and landing her in the state for the foreseeable future. 

She’s currently continuing her last year of school through online classes in order to get her bachelors while interning at the Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital. 

Personality

A dork? Literally the biggest dork, the dorkiest of dorks, just a whole friggen dork. This child rambles like you wouldn’t believe and her mouth 100% works faster than her brain so like you never know what to expect but she’s just a happy, friendly, sarcastic little bean with social anxiety and a heart of gold tbh.

Also an aggressive lil’ lady though, like 12/10 chance she’ll throw hands if you want to fuck with or say something about the people she loves.

A chaotic soul as well like down to party and have a good time and will definitely drink a dude under the table, definitely broke her ribs two summers in a row from a drinking game because this child doesn’t know when to slow down or chill out, she’s just trying to live.

Emotional as hell, like definitely cries during commercials and Disney movies, but like if you’re trying to tap into her serious emotions she’s gonna shut that shit down. She keeps people locked out tbh and just jokes about the serious shit in her life if she does talk about it.

Desired Connections

Friends? This is tricky because she was basically in Texas for most of her life and then traveling? But someone who lived in/visited Texas and they met? Someone she met while filming the show in some random country - they were living there or traveling and met while she was out and about one day? Maybe someone she met through her charity work? Someone who has a kid or a younger sibling/niece/nephew/godchild who she took care of at the hospital or even on a home visit and they met her/know her that way?

Exes? So her most recent ex is off limits because it’s based off a real connection but like either of her exes from high school? The first one would have had to have lived in Texas for some time but the latter could have been visiting friends/family for a summer? If anyone has a character that works for these I’m down for the drama, especially the second because Tessa is fully ready to break dude’s nose again.

Half siblings? So Tessa’s dad basically bailed when she was little - maybe he had another family? Could have had a kid before her who he also bailed on, could have started a family during the same time or after, he could have stayed there for them or bailed on them as well? They could know about Tessa, or neither could know about the other? Tessa pry wouldn’t know about them because she made it a point to never bother searching for this man let alone any family but literally I’m down for whatever other ideas you’ve got on this one!

Honestly Tessa needs some guy friends! Like I said she’s always been very much more one of the guys - would rather be drinking a beer watching a sports game and yelling than going on a shopping spree okay she has 0 interest, and since she moved from home she needs a new guy group to cause trouble with but also, who makes a better wing woman than a girl okay? Chaos friend but also mom friend rolled into one because she will get involved in shenanigans but will also call you out for acting dumb too.

Also here’s some open, wanted musing connection ideas; https://tessarichardsmusings.tumblr.com/tagged/tessa-%2B-open

Pinterest

[shanitani]

CHAPTER TWO: WORRY LESS

table of contents

“A new girl? that’s so cool!” Mina squealed in her seat listening to Aizawa ramble on the basics of you. “That would quite nice.” Momo hummed thinking off in the classroom. “Mr. Aizawa, sir. Would you happen to know her quirk?” Iida raised his hand earning a sigh from Aizawa from the constant questions and curiorosity. 

“I don’t know her quirk, I don’t know what she looks like. Everyone’s guesses are as good as mines, you’re better off asking Bakugou about it tomorrow.” The class raised their eyebrows at the boy, thinking you were his relative. “Don’t ask me shit about that girl, figure it out yourself.” Bakugou grunted looking down at his paper. 

“Is she your relative?” Kirishima whispered to the boy making his jaw lock, and then slowly release. “No. She’s living with us for a year.” he sighed rolling his eyes wanting the questions to come to an end, but to be honest he’s been wondering the same thing as the class.

⁂

“Thank you for taking American Flights, please fly with us soon!” the loudspeaker went off, making you groan at the sudden awakening and the plane slowly rumbling beneath your feet. The airplane smelled like sweat and people; both not enjoyable in the slightest. Your phone was charged and pounding with messages from school friends, Imani, and your parents, luckily putting in an outlet to your phone before you lifted. 

“They do not play around” you laughed at her families constant worrying; but it warmed your heart to know they all cared about you. You texted them all a quick message for their own relief and then looked at the steps UA gave you, 

Your belongings are being flew out to the Bakugous, don’t worry about trying to find them, We have a designated driver coming to pick you up. She’s a bit ambiguous and knows what you look like so no need to try and find her, she’ll find you rather quickly.

You raised your eyebrow at the message, “She knows what I look like?” you questioned turning your eyes to try and find the ambiguous woman. Suddenly a hand fell onto your shoulder, making you jump in surprise. “Easy! I’m your designated drive babe! c’mon.” she motioned you to her car, and you happily obliged, hopping into the black low rise car seeing the beautiful exterior inside.

“See, this is me. Don’t be scared.” she hummed showing you her UA badge, making you feel more comfortable and slump in her seat slightly, “Thank you for picking me up, um?” “Midnight.” She answered for you, steering onto the freeway. The highways looked slightly the same - only you couldn’t read most billboard signs and the buildings looked more luminated in lights. 

“Midnight. So will I be going straight to the school or will I meet my host family first?” “You’ll be meeting your host family first, I’m sure you’re pretty jetlagged and should sleep off today and tomorrow to get used to the time change, on Monday you’ll be assigned with a dorm room. I’m sure Bakugo can show you around.” you cocked your head slightly trying to figure out who she was talking about, you waited for an answer but it never came.

“Is he in my host family?” Midnight nodded - eyes still on the road. “Sorry I know i’m asking a lot of questions, but do you know anything about him?” You could see the woman smirk slightly through the rear view, “Well..” As she was about to finish her sentence, she stopped the car in front of the home you were to stay at for one year.

“This is it!” she ignored your question, mentally groaning at the fact you could tell he would be a pain in the ass. hopefully the rest of the family is nice. you grabbed your bag heading towards the door. A blonde woman opened, smiling down at your figure and opening the door wider for you to come in.

“Hi dear! I’m so glad you got here safely, thank you, Kayama.” you turned around to see the woman heading off in her car - desperate to know what she was going to say about the boy. “I’ll see you at UA kid, see you!” she started her car waving off before she completely disappeared. “Let me show you to your room! I’m so excited for you to come live with us.” you smiled at her genuine demeanor following her up the steps.

You didn’t expect your room to look so, nice? the purple walls cluttered with string lights; a white comforter with small grey blankets and purple rugs to accent the carpet - if you hadn’t knew any better you would’ve thought Mitsuki had a daughter. She caught on to your drift speaking up, “I’m a fashion designer, so I went a little overboard, and i’ve always wanted a daughter.” she nervously laughed, “I love it, Mrs. Bakugou. Thank you!” you went to shake her hand as she shook her head smiling, “call me Mitsuki, sweetheart. You’re family now! I left some clothes on the bed, i’m sure you want to take a shower. It’s right up there.” she pointed towards the door beside another one that wrote “Keep out.”.

“Katsuki should be here in a hour or so, So I recommend taking a shower now so you won’t have to hear his antics.” she rolled her eyes walking off to the kitchen. “I’ll be preparing dinner if you need anything at all, dear.” you nodded placing your belongings down and seeing the rest of the ones you packed already in your room. 

you: Bitch guess what

mani: what.. did something happen alr?

you: NO. THIS ROOM IS SO CUTE.

mani: I’m blocking you yk I wanted to know about the boy.

you: It’s always abt the boy mf what about me

mani: you cute too boo!

you: girl fuck you💀

you rolled your eyes smiling down at your phone, yet her heart swelled deeply missing your bestfriend. It felt like forever since you’ve both been together even though it had been a day at most.

trying to take your mind off things, you took your bathroom belongings, shower cap, and lotion heading towards the door. Looking down at the pajama’s Mitsuki gave you, laid a grey tank top and loose pajama pants. you opened the door, locking it and hopping into the steam to let your worries melt away and go into the drain along with the water.

⁂

“mom? I’m home.” Bakugo grunted shifting his shoes off and walking into the living room, bunch hunched and eyes showing clear signs of tired and restless..

“Hey Katsuki, [Y/N] is upstairs in your bathroom taking a shower. Be nice.” She could feel the boys glare on her back as she endlessly chopped vegetables and stirred a pot before he mumbled endless nonsense walking up the stairs. Biting his tongue, he knew if he said anything he would’ve been slapped upside the head - and he was way too tired to deal with her.

He reached his door, ready to close it and lock it for the rest of the night. Until he heard you humming the low toned sound and smelled combinations of unfamiliar scents inching out of the locked bathroom door. Your humming sounded like a tranquil tune, it was low yet loud enough to hear from his door if he listened closely. 

The water slowly turned off yet your humming continued to the sound, yet he was too drunk of the thought of your voice to even realize it - the shower was like a muffled background noise that was barely audible at that point. It wasn’t until his phone chimed that he was pulled back from his thoughts. 

Kirishima: Hey dude, figure out what the girl looked like yet? 

Bakugo groaned, fully ready to tell his friend off about him not caring what you looked like and that on Monday you’ll all see the famous [Y/N], starting to type he heard the door unlock on the bathroom door.

I’m sorry it was getting too long so I had to stop- but I promise going forth theres gonna be a lot of interactions and way less... stereotypical LMFAO</3

taglist(send me an ask to be tagged!)

@bnhathotty @quincywrites @fandomsgotmefucked @lokis-teseract , @racistareversa , @ladybakugouu , @oookore , @bleach-your-panties , @melanin-baddie

[malfoymanortings]

my heart is buried in Venice

SUMMARY: she would rather die for love than live for fear. it appears that falling for draco malfoy puts that to the test.

PAIRING: draco x oc

WARNINGS: smut and a bit of descriptive torture (crucio)

hello again! this is angsty. that’s all i will say, so now you’ve been warned. let me know if you enjoy it. its a bit of a longer one! bold/italics symbolize the beginning/ending of a flashback. hopefully it isn’t confusing! also, sorry the summary is shit, im so bad at writing them!

She thinks back to the first time she had seen Draco Malfoy. Not the first time they had met, immature beyond their current years, but the first time she had seen Draco.

The crying was unfamiliar to her, yet it brought stabbing pains to her chest. She hurried into the bathroom, expecting to find a scared first year. They always came to the bathrooms to cry, although they did normally avoid Moaning Myrtle. Still, with the current state of the world, she supposed nothing would be surprising at this point.

“It’s alright,” she stepped in cautiously, peering to see where the crying person was. “No one deserves to cry alone in the bathroom.”

With a thick, shaky sort of breath, the crying tapered off. She turned the corner to see a silver head of hair hunched over the sink, a boy with white sleeves rolled up on his arms. He wasn’t quick enough to yank the sleeves down, and she stopped short when she saw the unmistakable mark of Voldemort on his arm.

“Get out,” Draco Malfoy snarled, turning to half his face was visible to her. “Now.”

“I would hate to leave you alone like this,” she paused, holding her hands out in a sort of I come in peace way. “I may not be your preferred company, but I’ve been told I’m a great listener.”

It was almost unnoticeable, but Draco softened. It was clear in the sag of his shoulders, the loosening of his grip on the sink. She held her breath, and walked further into the bathroom. 

“Or, I could offer out a distraction,” she leaned against the frame of the stall, her arms crossed on her chest. “I’ve also been known to ramble about nonsense more often than not.”

“And who exactly is it that said that?” Draco turned towards her, and sat on the floor. 

She smiled, and promptly sat down on the floor with her back against the frame. “Well, I’m quite good friends with Susan Bones…” and she launched into a tale of the time when she and Susan had successfully distracted Professor Sprout for half a lesson, by asking about the mixing of magical plants with other muggle plants of certain… properties. They had been beyond surprise when Professor Sprout was quite knowledgeable on the subject herself.

To her surprise, Draco had engaged a bit in the discussion, asking questions and humming and hawing here and there to show he had actually been listening. He had subtly wiped his face dry during the conversation, and she had pretended not to notice.

“I’m quite surprised to find you here, you know,” she said gently, after their shared laughter had come to a stop. “I’m sure you have a million other friends in your house that would talk with you, rather than a Hufflepuff.”

“I haven’t got any friends,” he scoffed harshly, his face once again that hard mask he wore in the halls. “None that really give a shit. Certainly none that would-” but he cut himself short, shaking his head and staring at his hands.

“None that would want to know the reason behind having the mark,” she guessed softly, raising her hands when he lifted his head with a snarl on his face. “If it bothered me terribly, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you. I would have already gone to Dumbledore or someone.”

“So why are you here?” his face was twisted again, into the hatred and despair that seemed foreign on his beautiful features. “Waiting for the right opportunity to strike? Waiting for me to spill my secrets, so you can go running off to tell?”

“No,” she shook her head, answering honestly. “I’m here, because someone was crying and needed a friend.”

Draco’s shoulders sagged again, and he rested his head on his knees. The gentle trembling of his shoulders were the only sign that he was crying again.

In a move that was boldly out of her character, she scooted across the floor so she was beside him. The gentle tensing of his body let her know that he noticed her movements. Slowly, and then in one rushing movement, she wrapped her arms around him.

He began to shove her off at first, but then he sagged once more, and rested his head on her shoulder. Again, he cried, and she murmured reassuring words as he did. 

A long time had passed before the embrace ended. Draco had stopped crying, and they had been sitting there in silence for a while. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” she asked him quietly, when he pulled out of her arms.

He shook his head, his grey eyes looking at hers with a haunted gaze. “I can’t.”

It is those same grey eyes she stares at now. Not entirely grey, they have the most spectacular speckles of blue in them. A brilliant contrast to her honey brown ones.

“Is there any particular reason you enjoy the bathroom?” she asked Draco, setting her bag beside her as she sat on the floor next to him.

“I don’t enjoy the bathroom,” he muttered, his elbows resting on his knees. “It’s a filthy place.”

“So then why, when you disappear, do I always find you in the bathroom, either staring at the mirror or sitting on the floor?” she bumped his shoulder with her own, looking up at him through her lashes.

“Are you keeping tabs on me?” he turned his head to look down at her, his grey eyes dark.

 Well, not entirely grey. The longer she stared at them, the most beautiful flecks of blue popped out at her. As she stared -admired, although she wouldn’t admit that to him- the bags underneath paired with his spiderweb veins of tender yellow and blue haunted her.

“Perhaps,” she paused, her lips parting for a moment. “Does that bother you?”

“It should,” he surprised her with the raw honesty in his voice. He was normally much more reserved. “But it doesn’t. I like the thought of you thinking of me.”

“Well, I think of you quite often,” she admitted, a bit breathless at the admission. “When you weren’t at dinner, I knew where to find you.”

“The bathroom,” Draco scoffed, turning away to hide the redness spreading across his cheeks. She smiled gently, as she didn’t miss it. She noticed just about everything he did. “Who would have ever thought a Malfoy would declare the bathroom as their safe space.”

“Put a few pictures up, might make it a bit more homey,” she suggested, resting her head on his shoulder. “Although I would make sure they’re all modest, don’t want Myrtle to take any for her personal use.”

“Oh, come on now,” he gave a rare smile, reminiscent of the smirk he used to wear all the time. “Myrtle isn’t that bad.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Wow, Draco, first the bathroom, now Myrtle? Clearly you’ve strayed from your noble path.”

Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. The reaction from Draco was immediate, his mouth snapped shut with an audible snap, his jaw clenched, and his body went stiff. She lifted her head off his shoulder, apologies on her face, but he began speaking with an angry rush that startled her.

“I don’t think there’s anything noble left in me,” his hands were shaking now. “My life has become such a mockery of what I thought it would be, and there’s absolutely no way out. I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I need to figure it out now before he- before he kills me.”

Time seemed to freeze after he spoke. He had never even hinted before, at anything like that. They danced around the subject of his dark mark, neither wanting to bring it up. But now, for Draco to so openly admit that he was being forced to do something, more than likely pertaining to Voldemort, well. It was a breakthrough in their relationship.

“You can tell me anything, Draco,” her voice was barely above a whisper, and yet, it sounded through the empty bathroom like a siren. “Please, don’t feel like you need to bottle this up.”

Tears leaked out of Draco’s eyes, and she tentatively wrapped her arms around him. This time, he held her back even tighter, and shifted so that she was in between his legs. He cradled the back of her head gently, pressing her to his chest, and he rested his head on top of hers. Her heart began racing, and his did the same. She knew this because his heartbeat was echoing in her ear from being pressed against his chest.

“I have to fix the vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement,” he said the words quickly, in a rush. “To get the death eaters in the school. He.. he wants me to kill Dumbledore.”

“Oh, Draco,” her breath was shaky, and she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

The bathroom seemed deathly silent after that. Time seemed to stretch infinitely, until Draco shattered it once more.

“I’ve thought of jumping off the astronomy tower,” he breathed out, so lightly she almost didn’t hear. “Ending it all. But I’m too much of a coward to go through with it.”

“No,” she said quickly, pulling back slightly so she could look at his eyes. “You can’t do that I can’t- I don’t want to lose you.” 

The quick admission slipped from her lips before she could stop it, and she wanted to swallow her words as fast as she said them. Draco shut his eyes, his cheeks glistening from the tears that had fallen. His jaw was clenched, a sure sign that he was upset. 

“You can’t have me,” Draco’s voice was firm. “I’m not good for you. You’ll only get hurt, if they know I care for you.”

“You care for me?” that seemed to be the only thing her mind would let her latch onto, and she marveled at the fact.

“You could be killed.” his voice was less firm now, and he opened his eyes, grey staring into brown.

“I could be killed regardless,” she pointed out, nearly breathless. “There’s a war going on, Draco. I could die tomorrow, I could leave for holiday or summer break, and be killed. I don’t want to exist in fear. I want to live what little time I may have left in love.”

The words seemed to hang between them, the air heavy. Draco’s eyes shut briefly, and his arms tightened around her before he opened them again. As his head bent towards her, she closed the gap, placing her hands on his cheeks. He flinched at the touch, but melted into her as their lips progressed together.

Her eyes flick down to his lips now, the feeling of them so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. Liquid trickles down her forehead, towards her cheek, but she doesn’t move a hand to brush it away.

“Don’t you dare fucking hurt her!” Draco shouted at Harry Potter, flashing a streak of purple towards the Gryffindor. He pushed her out of the way, and she skidded to the floor.

Harry fired another spell at Draco, exploding the toilet next to her. The porcelain rained down on her, and she raised her arms protectively as the shards cut her skin. Draco shot another spell at Harry, and the bin behind him exploded. 

She rose to her feet, nearly slipping on the water, trying to get her wand from her discarded robes on the floor behind Draco. Just as she had it in her hands, she turned, only to get hit with a leg locker curse from Harry. She fell, unable to brace herself, and knocked the side of her head on the sink, hot liquid spilling down her face as her head exploded in pain.

Draco turned to see her, and his face contorted in rage as he turned back to Harry. He cried, “Cruci-”

“SECTUMSEMPRA!” bellowed Harry, cutting off Draco’s unforgivable curse, waving his wand wildly. 

She watched in horror through blurry vision as blood spurted from Draco’s face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backward and collapsed on to the waterlogged floor with a great splash, his wand falling from his limp right hand.

“No,” she choked out, the leg locker curse wearing off. “No, no, no!”

Her head spinning wildly, she looked down horrified as Draco’s white hands scrabbled at his blood soaked chest. She was vaguely aware of Harry falling to his knees next to Draco, and without a second thought, she wound her fist back and punched him with as much strength as she could muster. 

“Fix him,” she screamed at Harry, who had a hand pressed to his nose. “Whatever you did, fix him now!”

“MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!”

Moaning Myrtle had appeared out of the toilets, and she was now floating around the bathroom wildly. 

The door banged open, and Professor Snape burst into the room. She realized it was the only time she was happy to see the hook nosed man. He pushed Harry roughly aside, and drew his wand over the deep wounds Harry’s curse had made, muttering an incantation that sounded almost like song. The flow of blood eased, Snape wiped the residue from Draco’s face and repeated his spell. Now, the wounds seemed to be knitting.

She had his hand in her own, reaching up ever so often to wipe away the blood that kept coming from her head wound. When Snape had performed the counter curse for the third time, he half-lifted Malfoy into a standing position. 

She stood up quickly, hearing Snape mutter to Draco. She steadied herself against the headrush she got from standing, a fresh wave of pain rolled through her head.

“Miss Cherrywood, are you able to accompany Draco to the nurse?” Snape eyed her, his face unreadable.

“Of course,” she quickly took Draco in her arms, steadying herself against the added weight. “What do I tell Madam Pomfrey?”

His gaze didn’t miss the way she looked at him, or he her. “Tell her exactly what happened. I am going to deal with Potter.”

She nodded, and hurried out of the bathroom as fast as she could. Draco was pale, much paler than she had ever seen him, which was saying something. He normally looked as white as their sheets. 

They made it to Madam Pomfrey, who immediately took Draco into her care. As she watched Madam Pomfrey, she told her exactly what happened. Harry had started it, for no good reason. She left out the part about Draco nearly using an unforgivable, and as she finished recounting the story, she fell over from the sudden wave that went through her head.

Nothing got passed Madam Pomfrey. She was instructed to sit on the bed next to Draco, and once Madam Pomfrey was satisfied with her work on the silver haired boy, she fixed up her would and gave her a potion for the concussion she surely endured.

“You alright, Birdie?” Draco’s eyes were shut, and his voice was weak as he spoke. 

“Don’t worry about me,” she slid off the bed, ignoring the instruction Pomfrey had given her before she left. “How are you?”

When her hand held his, he opened his eyes. He was so pale. She brushed his silver strands off his forehead gently, careful of the bottom half of his face that had been hit with that nasty curse. 

“I feel as though I should be dead,” Draco paused, his voice low. “For whatever reason, that thought now scares me.”

“What do you mean, love?” the pet name slipped out of her mouth, and she hoped he didn’t mind. She brushed a thumb over his hand, relishing in the soft skin.

“I mean,” he turned to look at her, his face open and earnest. It reminded her of the day he had told her everything. That seemed so long ago now. “I was scared I was going to die without ever telling you how I felt.”

Silence laid over them like a blanket. She stared at him, lips parted, not knowing what to say.

“Birdie, I love you,” Draco broke the silence, shutting his eyes once more. “I shouldn’t. But I do. What happened today with Potter is just a fraction, a mere glimpse, of what would happen to you if he knew my feelings for you.”

“I don’t care, Draco,” the words flew from her mouth, a smile gracing her lips. “I don’t care. I love you. I am in love with you. I would always choose to live in love instead of fear.”

Draco opened his eyes again, and reached a weak arm up to press his lips to hers. Their eyes shut as their lips moved in sync as they had done many times before.

“I meant what I said,” she says the words quietly, looking into those familiar grey eyes. “I will always choose to live in love rather than fear.” 

Laughter is heard around them, and she swallows her fear down hard. She vows to be true to her words, no matter the cost. 

“Tomorrow,” Draco says quietly, turning to look at her. “It happens tomorrow.”

She let out a shaky breath, turning away from his gaze to the night sky. She had known this was happening, since he told her he fixed the damn cabinet. There was nothing to do. She couldn’t stop it. She wouldn’t help him. She would be fighting against him, come tomorrow night.

“I love you.” the words fall from her lips in a shaky voice, tears slipping down her face.

“Darling,” Draco took her in his arms, cradling her head to his chest. She was reminded of their first hug when he did the same. “I love you more than I had ever thought possible.”

They kissed again, this time a different passion behind it. They both knew this was a goodbye, maybe forever. He would leave with the Death Eaters tomorrow, after he killed Dumbledore. He would have blood on his hands and would formally join the enemy. 

Their lips clashed and moved together, tongue touching teeth and lips touching skin. They grabbed at each other, daring to find where the other began and the other stopped. Gentle hands, harsh lips. It was a fight for love that wouldn’t matter in the end.

Draco laid her down on the cushy blanket they had been sitting on before, and paused. “Are you sure you want this, Birdie?” 

“I want you, Draco,” she stared up at him, trying her best to memorize his every feature. He was so angelic. How could he be put up to the task he was given? “Only you, Draco.”

He pressed kisses to her neck, deftly unbuttoning her blouse. It slid off her shoulders, and he unhooked her bra next. For a moment, he stopped, staring at her exposed breasts for the first time.

“So beautiful darling,” he murmured, pressing kisses to her skin. “All for me.”

“Always for you.” she moaned back, as he nipped and sucked at her soft breasts. 

His lips felt like fire against her skin, as he took a nipple in his mouth while his hand played with the other. She arched her back, wanting to be as close as possible to him. After a moment, she helped him slide his shirt off so she could touch his bare skin. Her nails dragged down his back as he sucked on her breasts, massaging the other with his hand. 

He began pressing kisses to her neck, while his hands slid her skirt and panties off her hips, leaving her bare underneath him. He did the same to his pants, leaving his boxers on. He glanced up at her once more, and when she nodded, pressed his lips to hers and cupped her heat.

He ran a finger up her slit, kissing her neck once more as she moaned at his touch. She gripped his shoulders as he began pushing one finger in and out, before adding another one. She moaned softly as Draco sucked on her neck, his fingers sliding in and out of her. He began to rub small circles on her clit with his thumb, and her eyes fluttered shut. 

“Draco,” she moaned out, pleasure coursing through her body as he kissed her breasts again.

“That’s it, darling,” he replied, pressing his lips to her once more before trailing back down to her neck. “Say my name.”

He pumped in and out of her faster, and she cursed as she said his name. She dug her fingers into his shoulders, and he hissed at the pain. He rubbed her clit faster, and she felt pressure building in her stomach. She moaned his name again, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. 

“You’re so beautiful darling,” he praised her. “All hot and wet for me. Only for me.”

He picked up the speed of his fingers pumping in and out, and she could feel herself becoming close to coming.

“Draco, I’m gonna-” a moan from her throat cut her off. 

“Yes Birdie, come on fingers,” he coaxed, his thumb again rubbing fast against her clit. “I want to taste you, love. Come all over my fingers.”

Moaning, her head tossed back, she came all over his fingers, grinding her hips onto them as she rode out her high. She caught her breath, and looked back at Draco, who placed his fingers in his mouth, sucking her juices off them.

“So sweet, darling,” he told her, his gaze heavy. “I didn’t expect anything else.”

He kissed her parted lips, and she tangled her fingers in his hair. She could feel his bulge pressing against her core, separated only by the thin fabric of his boxers, and she pulled away from him.

“Draco,” she gazed at him with lidded eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”

“Anything for you, darling.” Draco complied, slipping his boxers off and swishing his wand towards her stomach. She felt a slight tingle, and realized it was the contraceptive spell.

She glanced down at his hard cock, and swallowed hard as she realized how big it was. She watched as he lined himself up to her entrance, biting her lip.

His lips captured hers once more, before he pulled away to look at her for her consent once more. She nodded, and he pushed into her wet heat, groaning at how tight she was. She sucked in a harsh breath, her eyes watering. It was her first time, and the pressure was a lot to handle. 

Draco noticed, and he pressed kisses to her neck, her cheek, her lips, as he let her adjust to his size. “Darling, you feel incredible. So fucking tight.”

“Can you..” she bit her lip once more, subconsciously grinding her hips against him. 

He groaned at the feeling, and began slowly moving in and out of her. It hurt at first, but she slowly got used to the feeling, and pleasure began to take over. The feeling of him pushing in and out made her toes curl, and she moaned as he began to pick up the pace.

“You’re so wet for me,” Draco groaned, interlacing their fingers. “Feel so good, Birdie.”

“Draco,” she moaned, the sound of her name on his lips bringing pleasure to her. “Fuck, this feels so good.”

He brought one hand down to push her legs further apart, the motion making him hit deeper inside of her, effectively hitting her g-spot. His name fell from her lips in a string of moans, and he began to stroke into her faster.

“You’re such a good girl,” he groaned into her ear, pressing sloppy kisses to her neck. “Good little Hufflepuff getting fucked by a Slytherin.”

Her lips were parted, and her eyes were screwed shut as he thrusted into her, her breasts bouncing from the force he fucked her with. She again let out a string of moans, his name falling with every other word. His thrusts began to get more sloppy, and his hand reached down to rub circles onto her clit as he thrusted in and out. She began to feel the pressure building up again, and her body writhed underneath him as the pleasure took over her. He groaned, and with a few more thrusts, she felt him shudder, and a sudden wetness filled her cunt. Euphoria washed over her as he did this, and she realized she had come for the second time that night. 

For a moment, Draco stayed inside of her, leaning down to press kisses to her neck once more before pulling out of her. He laid next to her on the blanket, and pulled her into his embrace.

“I love you,” he pressed his lips to her temple, his hand stroking her hair.

She looked up at him, their bare skin pressed to each other. “I love you too.”

The hopelessness of the situation hits her. There was nowhere to turn. They knew all about them now, but as she lets their memories wash over her for the final time, she smiles. She wouldn’t change a thing.

“Birdie, it isn’t safe for us to be together,” Draco murmured into her hair, his arms wrapped tightly around her. “They’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care, Draco,” she looked up at him and smiled. “What more can they do to me? The Carrows Crucio me nearly once a week.”

“Because you can’t just let things be,” he responds angrily, moving away from her in frustration, his fingers gripping the railing for the astronomy tower. “You have to involve yourself.”

“I’m not going to let them use unforgivable curses on first years!” she yelled back, her voice echoing in the empty tower.

That paused both of them. She never yelled at him. He wasn’t even sure she could yell.

“Draco, I love you,” she began again, taking his hands in her own. “I love you so much. You have to understand that I can’t just let them tortue kids. If I have a chance to stand up to the Carrows, I will do that.”

“I know,” his shoulders sagged in defeat, and he sat down on the floor, his back against the railing. “I just wish you weren’t so stubborn. I wish I could protect you better.”

“If you did that, they would know about us,” she sat next to him, placing her head on their shoulder. “It would be so much worse for us.”

Draco nodded. They sat in silence for a while, her head on his shoulder, his fingers playing with her hair. Hogwarts was much different this year. Snape and the Carrows had taken over Hogwarts. The remaining members of the DA were still fighting against them, for what they believed in. Hoping each day Harry would come back, and everything would be okay again. 

Neville and Ginny had taken over the DA. She helped out a lot more than she had expected she would. She felt that, maybe, part of her was guilty because she was deeply in love with Draco, and he played a part in the downfall of the school.

But he had no choice. He was the boy who had no choice. And she knew that.

No one knew about them. The only person who probably did, was Harry Potter. And at this point, if he ever were to think of her or Draco, he probably thought she wouldn’t still be with him. But it didn’t matter. Harry had much bigger things to worry about then who Draco Malfoy fancied. 

“I want a nice little cabin in the woods,” Draco traced circles on her arm, his voice low. “Away from everyone. Away from everything. I want to grow our own garden. My mum always loved gardening. She has the most beautiful flower gardens, you would absolutely love it…” his voice trailed off, no doubt thinking of before. Before things got messy. Before life went south.

“What does the cabin look like, love?” she asked, tilting her head up to look at his angelic face. He smiles, placing a quick kiss to her forehead.

“It’s small, very modest,” he continued, looking at her face. “There’s a giant couch, soft as a cloud. Tons of blankets throughout, for when you complain it’s too cold even when it’s a beautiful summer day,” he pokes at her side, making her giggle. “A nice window with a desk in front of it. I’ll sit at the desk every day, and write. Bad, good, all of it. I’ll publish my own book, one day, about all the bullshit we’ve gone through.”

“The autobiography of Draco Malfoy.” she smiled, leaning further into him.

“Exactly,” Draco laughed, although there isn’t much humor. “My mother is the only one allowed over. She’ll want to help with the garden, but I’m not going to let her. I’ll be the one to do it. Hell, maybe I’ll even do it without magic. We’ll be hidden away in the trees, unable for anyone to find. There’ll be two bedrooms, one for us, of course, the largest one, and the other for…”

“For what, Draco?” she nudged him, wondering why he had trailed off.

Draco looked down at her, his hand grasping her chin. “For our children. Two, at least. No only child bullshit. I never want our children to be lonely.”

“You want kids with me?” she marveled at the fact, unaware that Draco would ever want kids, much less with her.

“Birdie,” he breathed, the smell of peppermint hitting her nostrils. “I want an entire lifetime with you.”

“Do it now, Draco!” Bellatrix shouts from behind her, her heels clacking as she strides forward. 

She feels the woman dig her nails into her neck, and she can’t stop the whimper of fear that escapes from her lips. Her eyes plead with Draco, honey brown meets grey blue. He’s a mess, his eyes wild with despair, his arm shaking as he holds his wand up to her.

“Birdie..” her name falls from his lips, and she cries as she hears the goodbye in it.

“Please, Draco,” she pleads, and she’s unsure why. She wanted to die bravely, not groveling at someone's feet. “I want a lifetime with you.”

“Filthy scum,” Bellatrix snaps, forcing her to her knees. “Do it, Draco.”

His hand is unsteady. His wand is shaking.

“Crucio!” Bellatrix shouts, her wand digging into her neck.

Her every nerve ending is on fire. She screams and she screams, her voice harsh. The words carved into her skin hadn't hurt this bad. Her head being slammed into the ground repeatedly hadn’t hurt this bad. She feels like every bone in her body is being broken, just heal and break once more. It’s like she’s been dipped into a vat of acid, and her skin is peeling off. 

She wishes for death.

The pain stops, but her skin twitches as her muscles remember the pain. She’s laying on the ground, moaning as tears slide down her cheeks. Her throat hurts so bad, and she wishes she could stop crying, but she can’t.

“Stand up, you pathetic bitch!” Bellatrix hoists her to her feet, again holding her by the back of her clothes. “Now, Draco!”

She blinks fast, clearing her vision to look at Draco. He looks so thin, so pale. The dark circles are back. Spiderweb veins of tender yellow blue are visible on his face. Yes he’s still so breathtakingly handsome as he once again holds his wand to her.

“Always for you,” the words slip out of her lips as she stares at the man she loves. “Only ever for you.”

“Shut up!” Bellatrix slaps her, and the pain barely registers from the amount she’s already been through. “I’m not asking you again, Draco.”

“Let her stand on her own,” Draco demands, his voice cracking. “I won’t kill her while you hold her.”

Bellatrix steps away then, a cackling laugh coming from her lips. Without the support of the wicked woman, she sways and nearly falls, but catches her balance just in time.

“I would rather die in love, than live in fear,” she says softly, under her breath, the words coming out funny as her jaw is still twitching from the cruciatus curse. “For you, I would die a thousand times over.”

She shuts her eyes then. She knows what’s coming. In some way, she always knew this was where they would end up. Perhaps not with him holding the wand to kill her, but with her dying because she wasn’t afraid to love him.

“Birdie,” Draco says in the voice that’s meant only for her, and she smiles, happy to hear it one more time. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

“Avada Kedavra!” 

There is a flash of green.

[bnhablessings]

Can I request a oneshot/headcanon for Hawks x pregnant fem!reader? I was thinking of Hawks being super cute taking care of her and showing her off proudly to other hero's. this is my first time making a request, so feel free to do with this as you please lolz! also I really want the end to have reader going into labor and giving birth at the end with a very proud Hawks at her side (you get to choose the gender!)💖

It took me so long to get to this omg but I did and I hope you like it, Hon! It is past midnight and I have a weird obsession with tomatoes right now.

Warnings: Pregnancy, just a fluff overload, Profanity, All Might is retired, Dabi and Hawks are good friends AU (we ignore the manga, only happy feelings here lmao)

*I have fixed grammar issues. My brain power was not activated when writing this lol.

Words: 2438

Takami Keigo (Hawks) x Female Reader

“Isn’t she just amazing?” Hawks questions not really speaking to anyone else as he just admires the woman waddling down the hallway.

The other Pro Heroes around him stare at him with confusion. Aizawa, Yamada, Yagi, and Todoroki Enji all take a glance at each other before they wait for the woman to make her way to them. All of them but Hawks are profoundly confused.

“Uh… This was supposed to be a parent-teacher conference so may I ask why Hawks is here as well?” All Might asks.

Hawks ignores them as he watches the woman stopping for a moment to speak to a student. She looks genuinely concerned and it makes his foolish heart swell from how caring she is. Endeavor wants to slap the foolish look off Hawks face but ignores it to answer All Might.

“I apologize. We had lunch together before this meeting. He decided to follow me but I have no idea why.” The tone to Endeavor’s voice shows that he is irritated but curious as to why the number 2 hero seems to be enamored with a simple U.A teacher.

She hasn’t noticed him yet thankfully and he has proudly gotten a video of her waddling. The closer to she gets the more the expression on her face slowly turns into one of realization. The students at U.A respect and care for her so they always make room for her.

“Hey, Honey, what are you doing here?”  You ask softly as you place a hand on your very large bump.

He goes to respond when your colleague Present Mic starts to let out an inhuman sound that turns into a surprised scream. “What?! Honey?! (NAME) YOU’RE MARRIED TO THE HAWKS?!” Present Mic screeches.

You ignore the change in volume and laugh as you nod your head. Aizawa seems to nod as he pieces it together. “Ah… You did mention Tokoyami’s internship being close with your husband.”

“BUT WAIT! You’re married? All my attempts on wooing you have been in vain,” Present Mic mumbles.

Everyone seems to freeze at this but you just laugh more. “Yamada, have you not noticed my ring? I’ve been wearing it every day since working here!” You manage to say after laughing.

He has absolutely no reply but to slowly put his hands up to show surrender from Hawks’ glare on him. Without a care, Hawks pulls you to him so he can hug you with your baby bump blocking it fully. His hands go to rest upon it and he smiles widely.

“See! I told you I have a beautiful family too, Endeavor.”

Endeavor for once has to hide the smile on his face as he looks away. He replies, “Yeah. I thought you were speaking nonsense or showing me pictures of random pregnant women.”

“Nope! I can guess why you would be confused… Since I never showed her face. We have a little chickadee coming on the way!” The excitement is clear in his voice and on his face from the happy lazy grin plastered on it.

He looks at the others and bids them goodbye. “Well, I am going to steal her so she can have her lunch with me. See ya.”

~*~

“Baby, I promise, it is okay! I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later when you get home! I’m just happy you visited for lunch,” You say into the phone. Your other hand goes to your purse to look for your keys.

You hear Hawks mumble and whine on the other side of the phone but you ignore it until you find the keys successfully. “Alright, babe. I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I reach the house. I love you!”

After hearing his ‘I love you more’ he hangs up and you smile feeling great. This is unusual since the pregnancy hormones have made you feel like shit lately. It’s all going to be worth it though.

“Hey, do you need me to walk you home?” Aizawa questions as he enters the hall.

You think for a few seconds before you ask, “Would you be willing to walk me to the station? I’ll be fine from there since I’m planning on stopping by a store! I don’t want to waste too much of your time!”

He nods and the two of you begin the walk to the station. It starts as a comfortable silence before Aizawa speaks up with a smile on his face. “You know, I had no idea you were married to the Number 2 Pro Hero. It surprised me but at the same, it didn’t. What surprised me though was seeing the way he stared at you. You have a good thing going,” Aizawa states.

It was odd for him to give his input like that but it made you feel happy to know that Hawks’ love for you was just that noticeable. Once at the station, Aizawa gives you a look, something an older brother would a younger sibling or parent would their child before giving a demand.

“Call me if anything happens. I’m on patrol for a while so I’ll be near this area. Be safe going home, (Name).”

Today has been such a heartwarming day and Aizawa’s words only bring you more joy as you bid him a farewell.

It doesn’t take long to reach the store close to your home. You salivate at the thought of getting what you crave most. An odd combination that most people would puke from but what you need to satisfy you and your baby right now, tomatoes and frosting.

You can just imagine Hawks’ disgusted look but it wasn’t the worst thing you’ve had yet. You go to turn when your baby bump hits something off the shelf. Thankfully, it was just another plastic can full of icing so it didn’t break. Now the new problem was picking up the jar.

You know it was a near-impossible feat but you try anyway. You probably look very silly trying to reach and barely scraping the can with your fingernails but you don’t care. You are determined to do it. That is until you hear an obvious cough trying to get your attention.

You give up for now and look at the owner only to smile upon seeing the man you saw earlier. “Hello, Mr. Endeavor! We’ve met officially earlier but not formally. I am Takami (Name). It’s a pleasure to meet you and I apologize if my husband gets a bit too much to handle. He can be very chillaxed but he does take his job seriously,” You ramble.

“Pleasure.”

He merely observes you with serious eyes before he bends down and picks up the icing jar. He hands it to you. “Thank you! I would’ve been in a pickle there if I couldn’t reach it,” You murmur placing it back on the shelf where it belongs.

One of his eyebrows betray his lack of expression to show his slight confusion and you laugh. “I already have my icing in this arm! The baby bump knocked over that one.”

He doesn’t say anything in reply to that. Instead, he seems to contemplate saying something. He just needs a few seconds before he decides to say it against his better judgment.

“Hawks... He’s the Number 2 Pro Hero and extremely famous. How is it I never even heard or seen you? I thought he was fibbing about having a wife since he only produced photos of your bump and not of your actual face,” He didn’t want to ask it but the curiosity got the best of him and it was unusual to him.

The question made you smile but this time with a bit of sadness. You’ve received this question just a few times before but the answer remains the same. “We try to hide our relationship and it is easy when his fans like to think he is single. It doesn’t matter but we have private social medias for our friends. We like to keep my face hidden and such.”

The atmosphere turned a bit tense and for once (actually probably like the fifth time since Hawks had been determined in making him a better Number 1 Hero) he feels guilty. Something strange feels like it’s churning in his chest and he quickly fixes it.

“He does talk an awful lot about you though. It’s clear as day how much he loves you and your baby.” It was a simple two-sentences but it brought comfort to you.

He leaves without any more words and you are brought back to your cheerful self and go to pay for the items. By the time you get home, it is already showing signs of getting dark. You are quick to send a text to Hawks and it distracts you from realizing something odd is wrong with your door. The fact that it is unlocked.

You lock your front door once inside and go straight to the kitchen to slice the tomatoes and spread icing on them. You waste absolutely no time as you have it all ready on a plate and leave the room to go change into something more comfortable.

Of course, only Hawks’ shirts have been fitting you lately and you prefer them much more than your maternity clothing. So you wear that and a pair of shorts before coming to get your treat and hopefully take a nap. That was the plan before you have a fucking heart attack from seeing a burnt toast eating your food.

“How the fuck do you eat this?” Dabi questions spitting a tomato slice out of his mouth.

Your heart is absolutely broken at the scene. You ignore the bully of a man and stare at the red and white mess on the ground. How dare he do this to you?

“Oh fuck… (Name), please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I’ll go buy you a new fucking tomato if you want. With the fucking confetti icing and shit. Just don’t cry… Or tell Hawks,” Dabi says.

It is too late though. The damage has been done as your hormones go berserk from seeing what you craved on the ground (yes your mind is ignoring the perfectly good slices still on the plate). Tears prick at your eyes and before you can rub them away or cry, Dabi brings you into a hug.

As you cry into his chest he is already on the phone with Hawks but with your uncontrollable sobs, you don’t hear the conversation. After a few painful minutes (for Dabi) he finally pulls away only for your face to be smothered by your loving husband’s chest.

He hushes you gently and rubs soothing circles on your back all while glaring at his best friend.

Dabi raises his hand in defense. “Hey man, I just came here to visit the princess with good intentions. Thanks for bringing the tomato. I owe you one.”

Another minute later Dabi presents to you a brand new plate with a tomato covered in icing. You sniffle lightly and take it before mumbling, “Thanks. Sorry for the way I acted. That was pathetic.”

“Hey no, it wasn’t Doll. I take full blame for eating your weird food. That and it is 100% Hawks’ fault for knocking you up Beautiful. Anyway, I got to bounce but are we good?” Dabi asks opening his arms for another hug.

You smile and give in. “We’re always good. Now get out of here. We’ll invite you over for a chicken wing dinner,” You offer.

He leaves with a stupid smile on his face and Hawks smiles as he can finally full-on cuddle you without interruptions. Of course, after you are done eating. He pulls you to cuddle on the couch with him, his wings stretched out and resting against the couch.

“You good, Babe?”

You nod the exhaustion pouring in on your face, “Yeah. Sorry I ended up making you come home early. I didn’t mean to get like that.”

“It’s all good. I would do anything for you and the baby. No tomato is safe from being devoured by you if that is what you desire.”

You are too tired to even give a response to that. Instead, you try and curl up into him as you make sure your bump is comfortable at the same time. His hands rest on your belly as he hums into your ear.

“What only two months left now?”

Yeah, and they are going to fly right by.

~*~

“You had to come in through the window?” Hawks asks in a hushed voice.

Dabi only smirks before his eyes fall on your resting figure. Hawks is sitting right beside you on the bed. The sweet bundle of joy he came to meet is resting in Hawks’ arms right beside you.

“Can’t impress anyone if I didn’t. All the Heroes come by already?” Dabi asks as he takes slow and steady steps to the three of you.

You smile weakly as you recall your three colleagues coming in to check on you and meet the baby (that Hawks may or may not have shoved in their face from how proud he was). Endeavor came by as well to congratulate you and Hawks.

“Yeah. All there is left now is to meet you,” You murmur as Hawks stands up.

Dabi gets a close look at the baby’s squishy face. He wants to say it’s hideous as a joke (he was planning on how to do joke about it though) but he couldn’t. The baby was actually cute. However, to his absolute horror, Hawks starts to proceed to give the baby to him.

“What the fuck. What if I drop it?”

You answer in a sleepy voice. “Drop her and I will personally send you to hell.”

“Her… What name did you guys come up with?”

Hawks answers without hesitation. “Tomato.”

Dabi physically freezes and looks up before seeing the stupid grin on Hawks’ face. He turns to you and you smile a gentle smile and give up the true answer. “Takara, it means treasure. Takami Takara.”

“I’ll take the chair. I’ll hold her while you guys rest up for a bit.”

You thank him and Hawks silently thanks him before showing off his severely bruised hand that you no doubt, destroyed when pushing during labor.

It is a pain Hawks would gladly go over again and endure for you because you are everything to him. You and your beautiful daughter mean the world to him and he would go through this life a million times if it meant having the two of you again.

[flightsoffandom]

Co-Conspirators Part 6

Pairs: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Words: 9316

Summary: The BAU team takes notice of your day off and worries about you. You accidentally get the team a week off. Aaron helps get you to and from surgery.

Warnings: Talking and details about surgery. Group drinking. Friendly dating peer pressure from the BAU family.

Notes: Kinda just some slice-of-life nonsense with some decent banter thrown in there. Sorry, this took so long, a lot of stuff happened which I won't get into so I won't bore you all to death. Hopefully, everyone sees this as worth the wait, feel free to let me know either way. Thanks for being patient with me.

Continuation of Co-Conspirators –Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5-Part 6*

You woke up in the morning to the smell of breakfast and the sound of Jack happily rambling about something. Letting yourself lay in bed for a moment so you could gain your bearings. You heard Jack talking about all the fun stuff you did with him yesterday. You smiled to yourself and quickly rolled out of bed. You immediately regretted it. Your head started to spin because you got up too fast. You wobble for a moment. When everything stops moving, that's when you start walking again. Checking the time, you see that Aaron had let you sleep in, and you both would need to go to work in about an hour. So you had to start getting ready. You grab some work clothes and towels before heading into the shower.

As soon as you got out of the shower, you started getting dressed and getting ready for work. With everything taken care of for a bit, the smell of breakfast hit you again. Your stomach growled, revealing just how hungry you were. You headed out to the kitchen. Jack was still happily rambling, and Aaron was attentively listening as he drank his coffee. You saw a plate sitting out on the table waiting for you. You hummed happily as you sat down. Jack looked at you with wide happy eyes, halting mid-sentence to address you, “[Y/N]!! Morning!!” Jack was so full of energy. You smile at him, “Good Morning to you too.” Jack looks at you, “I’m telling daddy about yesterday.” You lean over and quickly kiss Aaron on the cheek, “Thanks for making me food.” Aaron smiled and nodded. You look back over to Jack, “Feel free to continue telling him. I’m sure he wants to hear all about it.” Jack nods happily and starts talking again. You lazily eat as you listen to Jack go on.

You slept so well last night, and for so much longer than usual, you felt a tad groggy. That sluggish half-asleep feeling stayed with you as you continued to eat. Between being tired and how fast Jack was talking, you were only half able to keep up with the current topic. You started drinking coffee, hoping the caffeine would help get you back to normal. Luckily by the time you finished eating, you could feel your energy level rising slowly. Enough time had passed that it was time for everyone to get up from the table and rush around again. You take all the dishes and rinse them off before putting them in the dishwasher. Helping Jack and Aaron get everything together for school and work. When all three of you were set, you met at the door for a moment. You opened the door before giving Aaron a quick kiss. Jack bolted out the door excitedly, ready to start his day. You break the kiss, “See you at work.” Aaron offers a smile before nodding. Jack screeches to a halt, turning around and running back towards you and his father. Jack tackles your legs with a hug, “Bye [Y/N].” You chuckle and kneel, “Bye, buddy. Have a good day at school.” You return Jack’s hug, giving him a soft squeeze. When Jack lets go, the three of you split off separately on your different routines.

It had been a few weeks since the Monte incident. No one on the team had brought it up with you. But you knew everyone would take a mental note of your day off. While you all had a rule to ‘not profile each other’, it was also the team's biggest lie. Since you arrived earlier than everyone, it was easier to come back to work after taking a day off. Hotch showed up thirty minutes after you, and you both exchanged a smile before he strides into his office. Easily you were able to get back to work. However, as soon as the team started showing up, you knew that Hotch had told Rossi more about what happened than you thought. Which in turn meant Rossi, of course, had told the team about it. You appreciated their concern. You were just dreading what was about to happen.

One by one, each member of the team showed up for work that day. As soon as the elevator door opened, their eyes were on you. You did your best to ignore it, but it was hard when you could see in your peripheral vision that they were trying to ‘casually’ group together in the kitchen. When you finally couldn't take it anymore, you turned in your chair to look at them. You clear your throat very loudly to make sure you get all of their attention, “You guys having an interesting conversation?” All five of them go wide-eyed and stare at you for a moment. Emily is the first to speak, “I tried to tell them we shouldn’t talk behind your back.” Penelope scoffs loudly, glaring at Emily. Derek quickly steps in, “Hey now, it was all of our ideas.” Derek takes a few steps toward you, “We are worried about you.” You glared at everyone, “I appreciate the thought, but there is no need for it.” You decide to add, ”Am I not allowed to take a day off of work just cause?” Spencer quickly states, “One thousand four.” You give him a confused look. Spencer quickly noticed your confusion and went on to elaborate, “You've worked at the BAU for approximately one thousand and four days. Yesterday was the first day you took a voluntary day off.” You were taken aback and even scoff, “That doesn't sound right.”

You knew they meant well. Maybe you were getting a bit defensive, but all five of them confronting you about taking one day off seemed a bit dramatic on their part. You sigh and smile at them, “Thank you for caring so much. I appreciate it. I do.” You grab some paperwork off your desk, “I love you all…” You pause for dramatic effect, “Even though you each can be obnoxiously caring at times.” You chuckle to yourself as you get some groans and eye-rolls from the team. JJ gives you a matter-of-fact look, “That’s what family is for.” Everyone, including yourself, nods in agreement. You stand up, getting ready to go file away your paperwork. The group starts breaking off and going back to work. Derek gives you a loving clap on the back as he walks by. You make sure to tussle Spencer's hair as he passes you. After a few minutes, the only person left is Penelope, who had one hand behind her back. She speaks up, “I know you said you're fine and that it's not a big deal… but it is kind of a big deal. It was icky…” Penelope's whole body shivers. She makes a disgusted noise before finding her train of thought again, “So so icky. I mean with the…” She motions to your scar, “And then him…” Penelope makes slow stabbing motions with her hand towards her own side. If anyone else had brought this up, you might have been mad, but with Penelope, it was always hard to be genuinely mad at her about anything. You chuckle and then correct her, “Monte didn't stab himself. A real stickler for the details, he managed to get a hold of a gun.” You mime a gun with your hand before pointing it at your side. Penelope almost gasps. In one motion, she pulls the hand from behind her back and thrusts a box of treats at you, “I know you don't want me to make a fuss… and I’m totally not… I just happened to make like two dozen too many… And they coincidentally are your favorite.” You let out a happy sigh and hug Penelope. She hugs you back, “Hugs, these are what I’m good at.” You laugh and squeeze her. You may not have been big on hugging, but Penelope was the best hugger. So you waited until she was ready to pull away first. She hands the box to you again. You take the container and open the lid, inhaling the delicious scent, “Thank you. You're the best.” Penelope scoffs as she turns around, “Yes. Yes, I am.” You chuckle and get back to work.

Luckily today was more of a paperwork kind of day, so everything was on the relaxed side of things. You were able to text Aaron a few times, though he was busy tackling the mountain of paperwork that always lingered on his desk. Partway through the day, when you all are working on your own, your attention gets pulled to someone walking into the BAU. You would recognize that stern, authoritative walk anywhere, Strauss. She was on a mission, and it didn't seem to be a happy one.

When you see Strauss heading up to see Hotch, you know it's probably worse than you thought. Strauss even looked over at you before entering Hotch’s office and closing the door behind her. You lean back in your chair, “Shit.” The rest of the team had also noticed Strauss. Once you finish having a mini burst of anxiety, you join the team in trying to watch your two bosses talk through Hotch’s window casually. You bite the inside of your check and watch for a minute or two. There was a chance that she was only here for something boring and routine. But when you saw Hotch’s body language turn defensive, you knew this wasn't good.

You slightly get up from your chair, “Prentiss? Reid? Either of you able to lip-read their conversation?” Both Emily and Spencer give a half-hearted nod as their eyes don't look away from the situation. Emily speaks up first, “It’s about you…” Derek looks over at you from his desk, “Why would they be having a conversation like that without you.” You sigh, “Hotch wasn't thrilled after we were dragged in for that interview with Monte.” Derek nods very matter-of-factly, “Bossman never likes anyone messing with his agents.” Derek looks back up to the office. This time JJ looks over to you, “But Strauss already knows Hotch didn’t like the situation, so what is THIS conversation about?” You're about to respond, but Spencer beats you to it, “Hotch refused anymore visits with Monte.”

Derek intakes a sharp breath through his teeth, “Strauss never likes it when Hotch goes over her head…” You sigh and push your face into the palm of your hand, “Great… now Strauss is gonna have more reasons to hate me.” ‘Hate’ May have been a strong word, but Strauss, at the very least, disliked you quite a bit. It was primarily because of the whole issue with your verbal filter and not particularly caring about the chain of command if it came down to doing the right thing. Strauss was probably going to see it as a fault on your part. She might even think your ability to do your job was affected. Prentiss speaking drew your face out of your hand, “I think she said something about ‘time off’, but I didn't catch the whole context.” You furrow your eyebrows together and look back up at Hotch’s office window. It looked as though the conversation was wrapping up. Everyone else took this as a queue to sit back at their desks. You, however, wanted to be stubborn and choose to stay standing. Strauss finally stepped out of the office, leaving the door open behind her. With a scowl on her face, she made eye contact with you, but you made sure to defiantly hold her gaze the whole time until she was out of sight.

With Strauss gone, you started to weave around the desks to get to Hotch’s office. Before you could even make it to the bottom of the small flight of stairs, Hotch was in the doorway about to call you in. Hotch looked annoyed, but there was something under that. You almost thought it looked like excitement, but that didn’t make sense at the moment. He motioned for you to come into the room with him, confirming it was indeed you that both your bosses had just been talking about, “[Your Last Name].” You give a curt nod and walk through the door, going and closing the blinds. You probably wouldn’t have, but you did just have a refresher on how well your coworkers could read lips. You didn't feel like letting them read yours at the moment. Hotch closed the door behind you and made his way back over to his desk. You casually slid into the chair in front of him, “How mad is she?”

Hotch sighs, “Pretty pissed, to be honest, but nothing that won't blow over once all the official reports and requests make it to her desk.” You nod softly, putting your elbow on the arm of the chair and resting your chin in your hand, “What else did she talk about?” Hotch sighs and leans back in his chair, watching you, “Good or bad part first?” You scrunch up your face a bit, even shooting a glare at Hotch, “Bad first…” You stretch out the word, unsure if that's really what you wanted. Hotch makes a face, already knowing you wouldn't be happy with his reply, “You have to undergo another psych eval.” Your glare intensifies, and your groan, “I already went through one right after the whole Monte thing… They cleared me.” Your voice came out a bit whiny, but you couldn't help it. It had only been maybe two weeks since your last evaluation, so taking another one seems pointless. Hotch nods, “I told her that, but she seems to think you needing to take an impromptu day off is cause for concern. I tried to explain it wasn't, but…” You grumble and nod slowly. You weren't happy at all, but Hotch would just get into trouble if you didn't listen. So you wouldn't fight it, just deciding to suck it up and deal with it.

You let out a half-hearted huff, “I’ll do it… if only to keep Strauss off your ass.” Hotch smiles at you, “Thank you.” He sits up and puts his hands together on top of his desk, “Now for the good news.” Hotch almost looked like he was up to something, so you narrowed your eyes at him and waited for him to speak, “The whole team gets a week off.” You straighten up quickly, excited, “Really? I knew I asked you to figure something out. I didn't really expect it to work out.” Hotch takes mock offense, “Hey!” You chuckle and roll your eyes, “You know it's our job I don’t trust for days off, not you.” Hotch smiles and nods, “I know.” Your excitement was temporarily suspended when you came to a realization.

You look at Hotch suspiciously, “Why was that in the same conversation as the rest of that stuff…” Hotch’s face turns slightly guilty, “I may have countered that if Strauss is so concerned about one of my team’s mental wellbeing, then maybe she should make sure the whole team had some time to rest.” You glare at him, “You used me taking a day off as an excuse.” Hotch’s face quickly started to look concerned that you were mad at him. You think about it for a minute and then laugh, “Honestly, there are worse ways to earn some time off. I’ll take it.” Hotch looked relieved as he relaxed back into his chair, “I was hoping you’d be okay with that.” You think for a moment before asking, “What week?” Hotch frowns again, and you knew what he was about to say. You close your eyes and let out a soft sigh. You weren't mad. You understood the position Hotch was in and why it had to be added to the report.

When you told him you would call your doctor, you actually did. You even surprised yourself with actually following through with it. Half the time, your philosophy was that it wasn't a problem if you didn’t think about it. With how worried Aaron was, your stubbornness had quickly yielded. You had set up an appointment to have your scar fixed. It would either be removed or corrected depending on the doctor's official examination on the surgery date, which was about two weeks away. You had told Hotch, of course, mainly as your boyfriend, but you knew as your boss it was an essential piece of information that had to be added to the reports and your psychological evaluation. You didn’t plan to tell the team about it, but with it being in official paperwork somewhere, maybe you should. So with that information in play, you knew the answer to your own question just by the look on Hotch’s face. Strauss used that date as the starting point for the whole week off for the team.

You apparently had been silent for longer than you thought because you felt Hotch’s eyes on you as he spoke, “You know I had to put it into the report…” With a soft smile, you open your eyes, “I know. I’m not upset about it. It will give me the proper time to heal out of the field.” Hotch narrows his eyes at you, “I wouldn't have been letting you into the field that week anyway.” You laugh and scoff, “Like you could have really stopped me.” Hotch gets his stern boss face on, “It would have been an order. One that I would have to write you up for disobeying.” Though Hotch was making sure, you knew the rules, even with him being your boyfriend. He was very serious, and you couldn't help but smirk. Hotch glares at you, deeply setting a stern look onto his face. You grin at him, “And I would have put it in the special folder in my desk, with all the other write-ups you have given me.” Hotch’s sternness seems to be cracking, so you decided to add, “You have to admit, that's pretty much how we flirted before either of us knew it was flirting.” You could see the furrow in Hotch’s brow relaxing. You give him an innocent look, “You’d write me up. I’d be in trouble for a little bit, but after a week or so, it was like it never happened.” Hotch finally cracked and started chuckling. He plants his face into the palm of his hand, “Are there really a whole folder worth?” You laugh and nod, “Mhm.” His chuckle dies down, and he rolls his eyes as he sits back up, “I could fire you for all of those.” Hotch closes his eyes, and you can tell he is contemplating whether he actually needs to worry about this and its effect on his job in general. You want to interrupt his overthinking, so you laugh, “If it makes you feel better, it's not favoritism. You're this soft with the rest of the team being in trouble too. I just tend to get into trouble a tad bit more. I am the only one who saves them.” This seems to work for the time being. Hotch just opens his eyes with a halfhearted groan as he watches you. You stand up and walk around to his side of the desk.

Usually, you would have been more careful at work, but the blinds were closed. So was the door. You smirk at Hotch and shrug, “You’ll just have to make it up to me somehow.” He watches you and smirks back, “Is that so?” You give him a few small nods before leaning down and kissing him. Hotch kisses you back, even going as far as to grab your hips and pulls you down to him. You chuckle into the kiss as you end up half straddling him. You were a bit surprised that Hotch was the one who progressed the interaction further because he was the one always scolding you about sneaking around at work. Breaking the kiss slowly with a few small pecks. You only pull back a few inches away before whispering, “There are rules about this. We could get caught.” You mimic the stern tone he normally uses. Hotch rolls his eyes, even smirking as he groans at you, “I do not sound like that.” You grin at him, “You totally do. That was a perfect impersonation of you.” This earns you another eye roll from Hotch, followed by a chuckle. You kiss him one last time before starting to pull away.

Hotch’s hold on your hips tightens, trying to keep you in place. You playfully huff, “You're supposed to be the responsible one, remember?” Hotch has an extremely ornery look on his face. You feel yourself wanting to cave in. You have to physically shake your head to clear your thoughts, “If I thought we could get away with it right now. I would jump your bones.” This causes Hotch’s hands to tighten on you, “ And why wouldn't we get away with it?” Your willpower was wavering, but you knew right now this would get you caught, “Because the whole team is currently watching your office like a hawk trying to figure out what is going on.” Hotch lets out an annoyed growl. You lean down, giving him one last kiss before officially pulling away. Hotch lets go of you this time, just watching you as he leans back in his chair. You start readjusting your appearance, so it doesn't look like you were just making out with someone as you add, “If they so much as see a shadow of us fooling around, we are screwed and not in the fun way we want.” Hotch laughs and shakes his head at your joke. He starts fixing his composure as well. You offer Hotch one last smile before leaving his office.

While walking down the stairs, you look to your coworkers, “Guess who’s emotionally traumatizing situation earned us all a week off. I will be accepting ‘thank you’s’ in the form of treats or drinks the next time we go to a bar together.” Sure the event had taken a mental toll on you. It was serious but making light of the whole situation was how you would cope with it. Plus, all things considered, everyone on the team could use some time off. It had been a while. They needed it. So you were more than happy being the one who was the ‘excuse’ to get it for them. If their attention wasn’t already on you leaving Hotch’s office, it was now after that announcement.

Morgan and Prentiss are the first two to officially perk up. Prentiss tilts her head, “Was that the ‘time off’ that Strauss was talking about with Hotch.” You give a quick nod before adding, “Apparently, Strauss is worried that me taking a day off might mean I’m becoming mentally unstable or something.” You shrug, not exactly sure of her logic behind it. Morgan walks up to you, “Well, we all knew you were mentally unstable…” He playfully jabs as he claps you on the back. “And that was before the whole incident.” You roll your eyes, “Har… har… you're so funny. We can all see how hard you're trying to show you have both brawn and brains.” You tease Morgan back, he glares down at you, and you stick your tongue out at him in response. This causes Morgan to laugh loudly, “Just remember I can beat you up.” You nod your head in agreement, “I never said you couldn't.”

Prentiss slides over, “So what party plans do we have set up?” You look at her a bit confused, “We all literally just found out about getting a week off. How could we already have plans?” Prentiss and Morgan both scoff. Prentiss shakes her head at you, “We always have parties and fun times planned.” Morgan nods to back her up. It made sense that it was those two who would always have plans and be down to party. You sigh and roll your eyes, “Well, I, for one, am just glad for getting a week off in general.” Morgan and Prentiss were busy making plans, and you think even JJ walked away to call Will and tell him. But that left Reid, who you could feel watching you.

You whip around quickly, “May I help you, good doctor?” Reid studies you carefully, and you settle on staring right back at him until he answers. Reid finally speaks up, “First, you take a day off willingly. How you're excited about getting a week off… It’s very odd.” You walk up to Reid’s desk, “Don’t profile me. Not about this, at least. I just think a week off sounds nice for once.” Reid watches you, “You once complained for a whole plane ride because we were forced to take a week off.” You scoff, “You're exaggerating again.” Reid opens his mouth. You know that look on his face. He was about to regurgitate everything that you said during that plane ride, word for word. You make the gesture of covering his mouth without physically doing so, wanting to still respect his thing with germs.

Spencer takes the hint and doesn't say anything. You sigh, “Okay, I get it. It’s strange… but people are conundrums, myself included.” You hoped that would be the end of it, but Spencer just watches you again. You tilt your head curiously, “Yes?” Spencer looks at you, “A…” Spencer clears his throat and speaks quieter, “Are you okay?” You thought about lying, but just like Penelope, Spencer fell into a category of slightly softer team members. So you decide to answer him truthfully for the most part. You smile softly and give his hair a light tussle, “I am about as fine as one could be… given the situation.”

Spencer takes a moment before accepting this answer. You sigh and add, “I’m getting corrective surgery, and it just happened to line up with the days off that Strauss gave us. So that's why I am okay with this time off.” It wasn't the whole truth, but it was enough of the truth that you weren't technically lying. You could see Spencer’s brain working already. He speaks up, “Do you know what kind of procedure they will be performing? If it's the injections depending on the substance used, there have been adverse effects reported in about 63% to 75% of patients.” While you found the information interesting, you got worried about knowing the statistics for this kind of stuff. You could feel some of the anxiety starting already, but you didn’t want to interrupt Spencer. You weren't in a rush. He was constantly being interrupted by time constraints or by people who didn't want to listen at the time. So you were preparing yourself for any additional anxiety-inducing facts Spencer was about to tell you. He wasn't so wrapped up in his information dump yet that he actually noticed the change in your body language. Spencer immediately stops speaking and gives you a slight nod. He follows up with a soft smile, “If you need to talk to anyone…” He pauses. You were extremely grateful that Spencer refrained from continuing. Your mind was already giving you enough trouble about the whole situation without additional facts. Giving Spencer a thankful smile before you chuckle, finishing his sentence for him, “And I’ll kick down your door and come bother you with my problems.” Spencer's smile widens, and he nods at you. You give him one last hair tussle before walking away.

The rest of the day passes by fairly quickly. With you and the rest of the team making some semi-solid plans to have a party at Rossi’s during the week off. You couldn't help but nibble at the snack Penelope made for you. You wanted to talk about the week off with Hotch some more, but you had to wait until everyone left. You tried not to look too suspicious as you kept track of everyone as they started going for the day. You waited until you were 100% sure that no one else was left in the office, and you quickly trot up the stairs. Bursting into Hotch’s office without even knocking. He doesn’t even seem surprised. He was used to you entering like this. You dramatically flop down in the chair across from him, “What are we going to do during our days off? I wanna do something fun.” Hotch looks up at you from his papers, “You will be recovering from surgery. So we’ll be taking it easy.” You huff loudly, “But… We could do something fun instead of being boring.” Hotch just glares at you, staying firm on his point. You sigh and pull your own paperwork on top of his desk. You give one last attempt, “Aaron…” You make sure to pout overdramatically and stare him down. Hotch starts chuckling, “I think you picked the wrong partner if you wanted a ‘fun relationship’” You roll your eyes, “You’re plenty fun… most of the time… when your not making me follow stupid rules.” Hotch groans, “You could literally split something open if you overexert yourself.”

You scoff, “That’s if they do the thing with the cutting and stuff. It’s an outpatient procedure. I’ll be fine going right back to normal activity.” Hotch glares at you, “I overheard the phone call the other day. It could be outpatient, or you might have to stay for a few days. Either way, I’ll have to drive you home, or they legally will not let you leave the building.” You sigh and get a bit more serious, “That’s true… I didn’t put your name on the official paperwork, but you can still pick me up, right?” Hotch narrows his eyes at you, “...Yes.” You roll your eyes, “I’m not doing anything sneaky… I just worry about how good Penelope is… If we wanna keep this little affair a secret, then you gotta make sure the team doesn't have any way of finding out.” Hotch shakes his head at you, holding back a chuckle, “Don’t call it an affair… It makes it sound so much worse than it is.” You smile at him, “Fine, dating.” Hotch finally lets himself chuck as he nods, “Thank you.” You both go back to doing paperwork until you both eventually get too tired, and you end up going back to Hotch’s apartment with him.

You had only asked Aaron to pick you up from your minor surgery, but he insisted on driving you there as well. Part of you wondered if he thought you were going to chicken out and end up not going. You thought he was being a bit dramatic by driving you there, but as soon as you sat in the car's passenger side, you were glad that he was the one driving. Your hands were shaking, and you only noticed because you had looked down at your lap. You balled your hands into fists in order to stop it. You didn't understand why you were so nervous. It was just a simple procedure. You didn't even feel like it was that big of a deal. Aaron looked over at you while he drove, “Are you alright?” You scoff and nod dramatically, “Of Course. Why wouldn’t I be?” That little bit of attitude earned you a glare from Aaron. Which makes you feel a bit guilty, so you correct your reply with a sigh, “I’ll be fine… Just ready for it to be over.” Aaron doesn’t say anything. He just reached one hand over and held one of your still balled-up fists. You smile softly and start to feel yourself relax.

It was a quick drive to the surgery center. With an easy enough check-in, you and Aaron went to find a seat. The problem was waiting to be called back. All the sitting still and waiting put you on edge. You couldn't help but bounce your leg. Aaron placed his hand on your knee in an attempt to calm your nerves. It didn’t help that you still weren't sure why you were this nervous. You had surgeries before, so that wasn't the issue. After your most recent psychological evaluation, you understood how much the Monte situation affected you, but at the same time, it still didn't make sense to you.

The only thing that pulled you out of your own head was Aaron gently squeezing your knee. You give him a curious look. Seeing the scowl on Aaron’s face confuses you further, but then you hear the reason. A nurse calls out again, “[Y/N]?” They pause before looking at the chart in their hands. Between the nurse’s tone and Aaron’s scowl, you could tell that wasn't the first time the nurse had called for you. The nurse adds your last name in an attempt to clear up any shared name confusion, “[Y/N] [Y/L/N]?” You stand up quickly, “I’m here, sorry.” You make your way to the nurse. About to apologize again for your delayed response, you're stopped by Aaron speaking up right behind you, “One second, please.” He addressed the nurse. You turned around to look at him, confused. Aaron looked worried, “Do I need to go back with you?” You scrunch your face up at him, “I’m not a child.” Aaron sighs, “I never said you were.” He still looked worried. It's not like you hadn't seen each other in compromising situations before, so that wasn't the problem. It was just the thought of Aaron going back with you both comforted you and made you nervous at the same time. You quickly think about it, not wanting to take up more of the nurse’s time. You offer Aaron a smile, “I think I’ll be fine. Just be here when I get done.” His worried look on his face softens but doesn't go entirely away as he nods, “Of course.” You give him a quick kiss before finally going back with the nurse.

The nurse takes you back into the exam room. You have to take off your shirt so they can do a quick look over it before the actual surgeon gets in. Your odd nerves linger even after the nurse leaves. Luckily the surgeon doesn't take long to come into the room. Considering you don't care about scars in general, the conversation is relatively quick before deciding how to proceed. You just wanted the spot changed. You didn't so much care about how the scar looked after, as long as it no longer reminded you of that incident. The surgeon decides that the best course of action is to basically cut out your scar and pull the skin back together to make a straight scar instead of the more prominent, more bullet-shaped scar you have now. You readily agree to the surgery, and off you went. They put the anesthesia mask on you in the surgery room, and you were out like a light.

The next thing you remember is waking up slowly. Everything was so bright, and you had to cover your eyes a bit. You started groggily waking up. You were expecting to be alone or at least only with medical staff, but you heard a very familiar noise. The extremely annoyed but trying to hide it, noise Aaron made. While Aaron was annoyed most of the time at work and made all sorts of noises. You didn't even have to look over at him to know what he was doing. Aaron was reading a newspaper and groaning to himself about the errors. Inaccuracies in the crime section of the newspaper, to be exact. You couldn't help but chuckle as you turned to look at him. Which came out as a weird noise between the grogginess and your dry throat. Aaron immediately closes the paper, completely forgetting about whatever it was he was annoyed about mere seconds ago. He looks worried again, moving to the edge of his chair to be ready to help if need be, “Are you alright? Do you need anything?” A large smile spreads across your face, “It aggravates you every time you try to read those. So why do you keep doing it?” Aaron takes your first sentence as a sign that you're doing just fine. He smiles at you and rolls his eyes, “I have to stay on top of cases.” You chuckle again and start moving a bit, wincing when you move your side just right. The pain was tolerable, which was a good thing. You begin sitting up, “I thought you said you would be in the waiting room.” Aaron sits back in his chair and gives you an ornery look, “Well, you said you didn’t want me back there for the exam, but nothing about coming back here while you were recovering.” You let out a playful groan and roll your eyes, “I’ll allow it just this once.” You tease and decide to look at your side. It was bandaged up, so there wasn't much to see. You try to start trying to peel up a corner of the bandage, trying to see something. Aaron quickly speaks up, “They said to leave it alone.” You shoot him a quick glare, “I am leaving it alone. I just want to look at it.” You knew you needed to be careful, and you probably would have listened. However, part of you was nervous it wasn't going to look different enough, so you persisted. Aaron must have seen the worry on your face because he let you continue. You gingerly pull up the bandage until you can see your stitches. Your previous scar was now almost perfectly straight. It looked nothing like it did before. You let out a sigh of relief, deciding now you can relax and leave it alone. Aaron watches you, “Better?” You hum softly, “Much better.” He reaches over and lets his hand find yours. You return the gesture but start trying to work your way out of the medical bed.

Aaron glares at you, “You need to wait until the doctor takes a look at you.” You scoff, “We both know I’m definitely not going to just sit around and wait.” He narrows his eyes at you. To which you just smile innocently before continuing to stubbornly stand off the bed. Aaron halfheartedly groans and caves, helping you. He lets you use one of his arms for balance while he hands you your clothes with his other hand. You chuckle as you start steadily pulling on your underwear, “You gave up really easily.” Aaron shakes his head, but you can hear the smile in his voice, “I’m picking my battles.” Next, you pull on your pants, having to sit on the edge of the bed to get them all the way up your legs. Aaron helps you when need be, so you don't hurt yourself. You smile as you start sliding out of the medical gown, “I’m lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend to take care of me while I heal.” Aaron chuckles and teases you, “Very lucky” You use Aaron’s shirt to pull him down closer to you and kiss him. He gently kisses you back before helping you get your shirt on. Aaron makes sure you don’t overexert yourself, “Once the doctor clears you, we can go home.” You hum and sit back down on the bed, ready to wait.

It was the night of Rossi’s party. You had been healing well, and besides being a little slower than usual, you were functioning pretty well. Penelope agreed to drive you to Rossi’s, even though Aaron had to drop you off at your own apartment. Keeping your relationship a secret could be tiring, but it was worth it. Penelope picked you up and talked about how much fun the party tonight would be and how she was only going to drink a ‘reasonable’ amount tonight and not get too crazy. You didn't really believe her, and you're sure she would be staying the night at Rossi’s. You'd have to get a ride home with someone else. Hopefully, you could sneak home with Aaron without anyone noticing. Normally you would be drinking with everyone, but you were supposed to wait until a few weeks after surgery before having alcohol again. Since you haven't told anyone but Spencer about your surgery, hopefully, you'll be able to hide your lack of drinking tonight as well. You did bring a bottle of alcohol as a gift for everyone and as a potential distraction from the fact you weren't actually drinking.

When Penelope pulled up, and you both got out of the car. You could see that a few people were already there. You saw Aaron’s car and JJ’s, but Derek’s car was missing. He was probably running late so he could pick up Emily and Spencer. You let Penelope lead the way. She knocked a cheerful tune on the door. A moment later, Rossi answers the door, “Benvenuti!” Penelope tackles Rossi with a hug, “Hello!” Penelope just as quickly let's go and trots happily into the house. Rossi looks to you, and you chuckle, “Don’t expect me to hug you.” Rossi laughs and motions for you to come in, “Wouldn't dream of it.” You offer him the bottle, which he happily accepts. You nod to him before slipping into his house and joining the others. Penelope already has a fruity-looking drink in her hand with a colorful reusable umbrella in it, which she must have brought from home, or Rossi could have had them stashed away somewhere.

As you were looking around the room, you did everything in your power not to linger on Aaron too long. Everyone was far too sober for you to start slipping up already. You head over to the bar and make sure to mess with the right combination of bottles and containers before pouring yourself a non-alcoholic beverage. Penelope was already messing with whatever music Rossi had on with the help of JJ. Rossi scoffed loudly enough you all could hear him from the entryway, “That was a classic.” Without hesitation, Penelope retorts, “Classically boring.” Penelope was only satisfied when she found something that she could sing and dance to. Penelope was already thoroughly enjoying herself like she always did. You knew JJ would join in soon like always. You were waiting to have two or three ‘drinks’ because that's what it usually took to get you out on the dance floor with everyone else.

Moments later, you hear Derek barge into the area everyone was gathered in, “Sorry we are running late, pretty boy was fixing his hair or something.” Derek chuckles, and Spencer automatically glares at Derek, “Actually, it was because you refused to listen to the directions I gave you and got stuck in traffic just like I said you would.” Derek wipes around, “That's not at all what happened… right, Prentiss?” Emily just shakes her head and dodges around both men who stopped in front of her, “I just came here to have fun with my friends. Not get dragged into your bickering.” You chuckle as both Derek and Spencer now turn their halfhearted glares to Emily. The play fight is quickly interrupted by Derek noticing Penelope already dancing. Derek fakes offense, “Baby girl, you started without me?” Penelope doesn't stop dancing for even a second, “Beauty waits for no one.” Penelope giggled before adding, “Just think of it as me keeping the dance floor warmed up for you.” Derek grabs himself a drink before joining Penelope, “Well, I am truly sorry for making you wait.” Emily shortly joins the group, using JJ as her main dancing partner. Rossi had joined Aaron off to the side. Which left you and Spencer off in your own group.

Spencer had water in his hand and glanced at the drink in yours, “You shouldn't be drinking for the next two weeks.” The party was already loud enough it was easy for the two of you to have a private conversation of sorts. You chuckle, “The doctor said a week to two weeks, your rounding up. And shh…” You bring your finger to your lips as you shush him. Spencer gets very serious, “I can list off all the statistics-” You laugh and playfully roll your eyes, “You’re a great friend Reid, but I meant shush, I’m faking it.” Spencer softens up, “Ohh, good.” You were about to say something else to Spencer, but the song changes to something slow, and Penelope and Derek catch your attention. They are both partially grinding against each other. As soon as the slow song ends, you shout at them both, ”Get a room.” You immediately regret it as Penelope glares right at you and stares you down. She starts heading towards you with a determined look on her face. You sigh and chuckle, “Shit.” You automatically grab Spencer’s wrist, knowing that if Penelope was going to drag you onto the dance floor, you were taking Spencer down with you. Reid protests, “I can’t dance.” You shake your head, “Neither can I, but we are all going to look like idiots together." Spencer doesn't fight anymore, and soon enough, Penelope grabs you by the hem of your shirt and pulls you into the group to dance with Spencer trailing behind you.

It was always a good time with the team, not worrying about anything. You were having a lot of fun, but it was hard not to over-exert yourself, especially when Penelope was almost always at max energy level. You manage not to hurt yourself too badly, but you knew you would need a break soon. Luckily you found your chance when everyone who was dancing and drinking got too hot and decided to move the party outside where it was nice and cool. You stayed out there just long enough before downing your drink and using your empty glass as an excuse to break away from the group and take a short break. You stood at the mini-bar inside, which was luckily entirely out of view of anyone else, so you didn't have to fake what you were doing. You got yourself some more water and sat down on a bar stool for a minute. Suddenly you hear Aaron’s voice, “Are you alright?” You jump a little and then wince a bit before slowly rotating your seat around. You smile, “I’m fine.” Aaron furrows his brow, “Are you sure you did pop some stitches or anything?” You tilt your head and smile, “If I did, everyone would have noticed.” You motion down to your grey shirt, the bandages themselves were not visible, but blood would have very easily stained the fabric. He was worried, which was cute. Aaron narrows his eyes at you before suddenly leaning down and kissing you. You kiss him back for a bit, glad that no one else was around. You break the kiss first and chuckle, “Aaron… we are at a work party.” You playfully scold him. Aaron rolls his eyes but then smirks, “You kissed me at the last work party we all went to. So I think it's about time I paid you back for that.” You laugh and shrug, “Fair enough.” You offer him a playful look, “Think we could get away with more than a kiss? I mean, Rossi has more than enough extra rooms.” Aaron gives you another soft kiss before shaking his head, “Not with your stitches still in, and if we are both gone much longer, Spencer will notice.” You nod, chuckling as you slowly stand up, “True, harder to sneak around when not everyone is inebriated.” Aaron nods and follows you with his eyes as you start walking away, “Be careful.” You turn and smile at him, “Of course, Sir.” This earns you a glare with no real annoyance behind it as you smile back before leaving to go back outside to the party.

You could already feel yourself getting tired, and you just knew you would only really want to stay for a few more hours, so you don't overdo it. When you get back to the group, you walk in on the middle of a conversation. Emily comments, “I have Sergio. That is more than enough for me.” Penelope whines, “But come onnnnn… I have a friend who would be perfect for you.” Emily stands her ground and shakes her head, “Nope. No way.” You walked up just in time for Penelope to turn her efforts right at you, “What about you? I know this guy, and he would be perfect for you.” You laugh, “You literally just said the same thing about Emily. Penelope pouts, “All my friends are perfect in their own way, and all of my friends would be perfect for each other.” You shake your head, “I’m going to pass as well, thanks, though.” Penelope gets a drunkenly stern look on her face, “Just one date… when is the last time you went out with someone who isn't us?” You try to ignore the question, but the discussion about your love life gets Derek’s attention. He chimes in, “Yeah… The last time we heard you even going out with someone was like two years ago.” You glare at Derek, “And?” Derek narrowed his eyes at you. He wasn't quite drunk, but he was at least buzzed, so you weren't too worried as he stared you down, “Are you secretly dating someone then? Why wouldn't you want to go out with someone as cool as Penelope's friend.” You can't help but laugh, “Do you know the person too then?” Derek shakes his head, “Nah… but like the baby girl said, all her friends are cool.” You roll your eyes and shake your head. Emily decides to chime in as well, “I know some people you might like.” You facepalm as you laugh.

You know it was them drunkenly trying to help you out, so you weren't mad, but you didn't expect this. You lift your head back up, “That's it, you all are too interested in my love life. I am going to become a nun or something.” Apparently, it was time for almost everyone else to start picking on you as well. JJ chuckles, “You swear like a sailor.” You scoff, but before you can defend yourself, Spencer adds, “You're also too aggressive.” You glare at Spencer, which honestly just kind of proves his point. Emily smiles and shrugs, “You like the danger too much, just like me.” Derek grins, “You like your job way too much to ever leave us.” You chuckle and shake your head. Penelope finishes up by adding, “More importantly, you love us wayyyy too much to ever ever leave us, right?” Penelope looks at you with big, borderline tearful eyes. She clearly had too much to drink because, with the look on her face, you could have sworn you just told her you were quitting or something. You nod and give Penelope a loving pat on the head, “I love you all, and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.” This cheers Penelope up right away and tackles you in a hug. It takes every ounce of your self-control not to wince as you hugged her back. Luckily since Spencer knew your secret, he quickly helped you out. Spencer almost shouted out, “I thought this was supposed to be a party.” Penelope very quickly lets go of you and collects herself. Before immediately getting distracted by a song that starts playing and dragging you all back into dancing with her. You have just enough time to mouth a ‘Thank you’ to Spencer before you all get pulled away.

After a few more hours, everyone else starts to break off, getting too tired to continue. JJ is the first to go so she could get back to Will and Henry. Next is Penelope, who passes out right on the couch in the living room. Which is unsurprising when she partied this hard. You were pretty sure Emily and Derek would be up all night challenging each other to stupid things. Rossi was utterly unaffected by whatever alcohol he had consumed. Rossi also seemed unphased by whatever mess was now scattered around his house. Spencer was very ready to go home and relax. Since Derek was currently busy having a shot contest with Emily, Spencer didn't have a ride. Luckily Aaron hadn’t drank that much so he was safe to drive. Spencer asked Aaron first, “Hotch, Would you mind giving me a ride?” You were grateful for this because now you could ask Aaron for a ride as well, and it just looked like a coworker carpool instead of your way to sneak over to Aaron’s apartment. Aaron nods, “Of course.” Aaron pauses for a second before turning and asking you a question he already knows the answer to, “Are you staying at Rossi’s, or would you like a ride home as well?” You offer a smile and nod, “If you wouldn't mind. Home sounds great right about now.” Aaron nod’s and the three of you say goodbye to Rossi before heading out.

You sit in the back seat with Spencer just to further express the whole ‘coworker’ thing. Luckily Spencer didn’t live too far away, so it made sense to drop him off first, and then you and Aaron could just head back to his place. The car ride was pretty quiet, with Spencer casually back seat driving and giving directions even though Aaron knew where he was going. When Aaron stops outside of Spencer's apartment, Spencer lets out a big yawn before thanking Aaron and hopping out of the car. With that, you can relax a bit more. You decide to wait until Aaron stops at the next red light to jump into the front seat, which you choose to do by staying in the car and just squeezing through the middle console area between the two front seats before taking your place in the passenger seat. Aaron glares at you, “Careful.”

You sleepily roll your eyes, “I’m fine. You worry too much.” Aaron starts driving again and shakes his head, “You seem to forget you had surgery.” You chuckle, “I promise I didn't forget. I just am choosing not to let it affect how I do things.” He looks over at you, “Do you have that much of an issue just taking it easy?” Aaron sounded serious. You slowly turn to face him, tilting your head before raising your eyebrow. He turns to look back at you. You decide to respond and can't help but start to chuckle, “I’m going to go ahead and assume that you said that cause you're a sweet boyfriend and worried.” You pause and let your chuckle turn into a laugh, “Because I sure as hell don't think my unit chief Aaron Hotchner can look me dead in the face and say that like he has not literally ignored hospital and doctors orders to get back into the field.” Aaron opens his mouth to protest but realizes the point you're making. He sighs, and you see a slight ornery look on his face when he finally responds, “I am allowed to do that because I am your boss.” You laugh and scoff, “Sure… sure.” Aaron parks in front of his apartment, and he turns off the car. He turns to you and gets a bit more serious again, “Just try to be more careful... for me?” You start to blush and decide just to kiss Aaron instead. Once you pull away, you answer him, “I’ll try. Now let's get inside, and into bed I’m exhausted.” Aaron smiles and nods before you both get out of the car, ready to call it a night.

Continuation of Co-Conspirators –Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5-Part 6*

Tags: @less-intelligent-spencerreid​ @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25​ @winterparkers @thosesteelblueeyesaremysafeplace @christycreature @labyrinthlibrarian @thebivirgin @cornishkat

[speuradair]

Rantaro, Fuyuhiko, Korekiyo, Kaito With An Overworked S/O That Gets A Bit Delirious From Caffeine

Definitely the most caring and attentive

It’s just his big brother nature

Rantaro understands being overworked, and in turn, he understands turning to caffeine to push through the resulting exhaustion 

He’s done it so many times, both in her personal adventures and in his school work 

He has a habit of pushing himself too far in his adventures

Leading to him switching back and forth between all nighters and sleeping way more than most people do to recover from said all nighters

That being said, Rantaro doesn’t support you doing the same thing

It’s a bit hypocritical, but hey- do as he says, not as he does

He’s definitely the type to cut you off from caffeinated drinks before you can have too many

Not to be controlling, but to make sure you don’t make yourself sick later

However, Rantaro can’t be with you 24/7

That’s how you end up drinking enough energy drinks to get a bit ridiculous 

He comes over to check on you or to hang out, only for you to quickly greet him before beginning to ramble about whatever nonsensical question you were debating mentally 

“Ah, you’re here! Awesome, I need your opinion-  If life is unfair on everybody, isn’t life technically fair...?”

He just kind of blinks, processing what you said for a second before immediately scanning the room to see what you’ve been drinking

The pile of discarded energy drink cans next to your snitches on you

“Babe- how many have you had?” he raises an eyebrow at you, trying to speak quickly so he can ask before you start on another tangent

You hesitate, both because you know he’ll cut you off and because you’ve honestly lost count

“Like, three. Or four? 6, maybe. 10 tops?”

“...”

“...”

“You’re done now”

He doesn’t even ask, he just insists that you’re stopping whatever you’re working on, and you’re going to start relaxing, at least for a bit until the caffeine overload wears off

Rantaro makes you take a break, even if he has to physically pick you up and make you sit with him 

He picks you up bridal style if he has to, all while you’re still rambling incoherently

“How do you throw away a garbage can?”

He’ll bribe you with your favorite snacks, favorite shows or videos, and of course, cuddles and affection

This usually results in you both wrapped up in a blanket together, cuddled up on the couch or bed

Rantaro knows what he’s doing- he’s not just bribing you to get you to do something else

He knows that after a little while of sitting still, curling up together, and him holding you, you’re gonna fall asleep

It works every single time

Once you do fall asleep, Rantaro just smiles to himself, shifts to get more comfortable, and falls asleep with you-

But not before pressing an affectionate kiss to your forehead

Fuyuhiko is the most confused by your behavior

Like he understands feeling the need to work really hard for long hours

He works his ass off too

but man-

Even he thinks that you’re not sleeping enough

Fuyuhiko walks into the room and he can already tell you’re overtired before you even say anything

“Just take a fuckin’ break, (name), how much caffeine have you had??”

He swears he can see you literally vibrating right now

“Uhhh, I lost track after my eleventh- speaking of which, what do teeth taste like? Do you think that everyone’s teeth taste different?”

He just blinks, giving you the most confused look he can manage

“What the fuck does that have to do with what I asked-”

“What does water taste like?”

“You’re done, you’re going to bed.”

He doesn’t even wait for you to agree or reply at all, he’s dragging you to lay down

Fuyuhiko protests cuddling, bc ya know, he has an image to keep up

But he’ll use the excuse of keeping you from getting up to lay with you, holding you tightly

He claims it’s to force you to sit still and sleep, but he also just enjoys the affection

He is not above laying on top of you until you fall asleep if you keep insisting on getting up to do something

Once you do fall asleep, he lets out a sigh, sounding more aggravated than he actually is

You’re ridiculous, but he wouldn’t take care of you like this if he wasn’t absolutely head over heels for you

He shifts to lay beside you, huffing superficially, but still gazing at you with pure adoration in his eyes

“You’re a dumbass sometimes, ya know? You need to take care of yourself, idiot. You’re gonna make yourself sick if you keep this shit up, then what are we going to do?”

To an outsider, his words sound harsh, but if you were awake enough to hear him, you’d know how sweet and loving those words are

He’s rough about it, but he just means that he worries about you

Fuyuhiko would be terrified if you got sick or hurt in anyway

He wants the best for you, and he wants you to be safe and healthy

Korekiyo isn’t exactly the type to overwork himself

More accurately, he has a tendency to hyperfixate on something for hours and hours at a time

It’s not uncommon for him to disappear into the library or his office all day, reading books about humanity and societies

But he’s also very sensitive to his own discomfort

Once he pulls himself from his studies. he knows that he needs to take care of himself

He’s also very sensitive to caffeine, so he just tries to avoid it

Which is why he’s quite concerned by your energy drink-fueled chaos

While he’s quite interested in your thought provoking questions, he’s more concerned about how delirious you seem

Did someone slip you something?

Are you sick?

Are you drunk?

It’s... caffeine? 

How odd

Korekiyo definitely stops whatever he’s doing to take care of you

He makes sure you drink water and do something calming and safe

However, he is observing you the whole time, studying each odd thing you do 

This is such a fascinating facet of humanity, isn’t it?

How a simple chemical can put you in such a chaotic daze

“Hey, Kiyo- Being “up” for something means the same thing as being “down” for something.”

He doesn’t look away from the show you both are watching, but he nods thoughtfully

“That is odd, isn’t it? Linguistics rarely develops as one would expect-”

Now he’s the one rambling, and you’re the one nodding along

His voice is super soothing though, and you’re energy is crashing

It’s not long before you’re out like a light, your body slumped against his side

Korekiyo raises his eyebrow as he feels your weight fall against him, his words trailing off as he notices you’ve finally fallen asleep

He just chuckles to himself, kissing your head gently before pulling a blanket up around the two of you

Humans are such perplexing and interesting creatures

This man absolutely gets overloaded on caffeine with you

He’s not going to be much help in calming you down, unless you’re making yourself upset or sick

Seeing you hurt or uncomfortable activates his protective mode, and then he’s very attentive, trying to get you to fall asleep and rest

Other than that, Kaito is just as chaotic as you are

Hopefully you two can balance each other out, because usually, neither of you are going to stop yourselves

Kaito isn’t necessarily the type overwork himself, but he just enjoys energy drinks and caffeine 

So when you get ridiculous after having coffee or energy drinks, it just hypes him up too

“If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?”

“Oh my god you’re right”

Most likely you two just end up crashing together, getting each other more and more hyped up before you both collapse on the bed in exhaustion

Then you two sleep for the next 14 hours, trying to make up for your previous lack of sleep

[darkeninganon]

(I told you all I was going to write more Dream torment. Again the design of Dream is based off @winifreyd and their White Enderman Dream design! Warnings for: general angst, violence, blood, gore, torture, bodily fluids, descriptions of injuries, death mentioned, cursing, and dismemberment (a tail). You have been warned.)

Dream jolted awake as the redstone clicked. To anyone from the outside, it would be impossible to hear, but he had been here so long... The popping of the lava was more like static or wind than an actual noise. He was pressed against the back of his cell, muscles sore and stiff; knees swollen and in more pain than they were yesterday, at least Dream thought they were much worse. They were still broken, rendering him immobile. The left side of his face burned even worse too, and each slight movement brought with it the weirdly loud crackling of dried blood. It pulled at his fur and made him feel gross. Then he looked to his hand.

Bones exposed, fingers cut of and a massive amount of blood clotting the wound as best as it could, but it wasn't enough to keep it from bleeding, small rivulets of much brighter blood popping up and he flexed his wrist. He was concerned, but surely Quackity would get bored and stop sooner rather than later. Hopefully before Dream got an infection and succumbed to it.

Dream glared at Quackity as he entered the cell, removing a pair of shears from his picket and swinging them casually. "So, Dream, are you we going to behave today and share what we know with the class?"

Dream growled, showing his undamaged hand just enough to flip off Quackity. The man just chuckled, shaking his head.

"Come on Dream, you'll have to give in some time." He smiled, tapping the shears against his hand as he approached the prisoner. "Don't make me do this, I was nice last time."

"Nice....?" Dream's voice had grown coarse, a growl bubbling up from his chest. "Nice would have been not breaking my knees." Dream wanted to stand, his good hand digging into the wall as he was forced to stay on the ground. "Nice would have been letting me keep my fingers.... You could never be nice, Quackity."

Dream screeched in agony as Quackity's foot connected with his broken knee, causing the prisoner to practically throw himself back and try to crawl away. Quackity planted his foot on Dream's knee again, putting as much pressure on it as he could. "Really Dream? I'm not nice? You aren't nice. You tortured Tommy. You fucking killed him and then brought him back. I know full well Tommy only wants you alive so you can bring back Wilbur." Quackity sighed, ignoring Dream's screaming and attempts to claw his way out from under Quackity. Letting out a disgruntled groan, Quackity sat down on Dream's back, tangling his fist in the literal mane of hair and fur Dream had, retching his head back as far as it would go, waving the shears in front of Dream's face. "Come on Dream~. I'm getting impatient here, and considering that you're never getting out of here, your nails are looking just a little too sharp."

Dream hissed, curling his good hand into a fist. He had to save one hand, after all, he would very much have to repay Quackity after he got out.

Quackity just hummed, taking the shears out of Dream's face as he ran his hand through the mane of white fur. No one but George and maybe Sapnap had ever gotten close enough to actually touch Dream without it breaking into a fight. Now that Quackity was able to though, he realized how soft it was. It felt so nice, even after at least a month of not having been washed or brushed or taken care of... Quackity lost himself a little, just sitting there feeling the soft fur.

Dream lay there, eyes wide as Quackity kept petting him. As nice as it could have been, Dream knew there wasn't any way this could end other than Dream suffering. There was a definitive reason he only let a couple of trusted people touch his fur.

"Damn... This would be a nice coat." Quackity mused, twirling a clump between his fingers before looking back towards Dream's legs. Quackity stopped his petting, reaching out and playing with his tail, which had been thrashing about just moments before. It had the same, soft fur all over it, just much shorter, until it got to the tip where it exploded into a huge, fluffy cloud of hair-like fur. "Hmm... You aren't ever going to walk again... Why do you have this?" Dream tried to look at the man sitting on his back, forgetting that he was missing one eye; "What?! Quackity, don't you dare-" Quackity planted his feet on both of Dream's thighs, pulling his tail taut as he aligned the scissors with the base of Dream's tail. "Quackity, no! Stop!" Dream screamed, his voice ringing off the obsidian walls as he once again tried to crawl out from under the other man. "You can't do this to me! I'll kill you! You WILL regret this you washed-up has-been!" Quackity ignored Dream's rambling. It didn't sound like English or any human language at this point, but that was fine. Maybe this and taking those claws would make Dream want to talk about the book. Quackity couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he finally cut through the tough muscles and skin that protected the bones. Now that he was to them though, he knew the shears wouldn't be strong enough to cut through them, he'd have to cut between them. Quackity let out a disappointed hum, pulling harder on Dream's tail in an effort to see where the vertebrae separated and he could get at the softer cartilage. The blood only made things much more complicated, and Quackity growled as he was forced to continually wipe away the red liquid.

Tears were once again burning Dream's cheeks, the nails on his good hand shattering and breaking uselessly against the obsidian; while the irritated scars on his other hand opened once again, leaving smears of blood across the floor. It was only made worse by Quackity repeatedly rubbing his fingers against the bones, swiping away the blood and literally adding salt to the wound.

Quackity smiled once more as he finally found what he was looking for, driving the tip of the shears in between the bones. Dream's scream took a turn, sounding more monster than human; and outside the cell, Sam curled in on himself, crying behind his mask. Quackity ignored the continued crying of a monster in pain, ignored the stain that was once again growing down the legs of the prison garb; Quackity's sole focus was on separating this tail from its owner. He continued to cut and tear at the spot, prying the bones apart to get and the bundle of nerves at the very center, once that was cut, taking the tail would be so much easier. He finally caught sight of the little bundle, oblivious to the silence that now weighed heavy in the cell; until he nicked the nerves with the shears.

To say Dream screamed would be an understatement. His whole body convulsed in such a way that he nearly threw Quackity off, a slew of strange, non-words flying from his mouth as he continued to convulse, attempting to spin around in pseudo-death-roll. Quackity hung on, still hacking at the spot with the shears until he heard more cracking than cutting, and the tail finally tore free, blood spattering all over as the new wound became fully exposed.

Dream finally stopped rolling around, gasping as he tried to stand. Where? Run. get out. need to leave need to leave need to leave cannot leave?? Saliva filled Dream's mouth, spilling out as he gasped and tried to speak. He watched in horror as he suddenly vomited, spouting nonsense to calm himself down. A hand tangled in his mane, yanking him away from the puddle of vomit and throwing him on his back, eliciting more cries from the prisoner.

Quackity slammed his foot down on Dream's chest, grabbing his good hand as he brought the shears back up. Dream was forced to watch as Quackity pried his nails from their bedding, taking the time to pry them off each finger with the utmost care so as to not cut them or damage Dream's fingers in any other way.

Sam began rocking back and forth, breathing heavily. He needed to calm down before he let Quackity out, he couldn't let Dream see that his yelling was getting to the warden. His mask hung in his hands, torn from his face in an effort to make sure the lenses did not become clouded by tears. "Hey Sam! We're done here!" Sam jumped, realizing it was silent now. He fainted again, thanks to you. He ignored that part of his mind, pulling his mask on and lowering the lava. Sure enough, Dream was on the floor, convulsing; Quackity held a long white thing in his hands, and there were a number of more puddles all over the cell now. Sam suppressed a shiver, letting Quackity out. That's Dream's tail he's holding. Sam couldn't remove his eyes from it. Aside from the blood at the cut point, the tails was still a pristine white fur. Sam knew Dream cared about his fur, to a point that it could be considered narcissistic. Only Sapnap and George had ever felt if though, at least in detail, and now, seeing his tail removed from his body, a war broke out in Sam's brain. You let this happen, he needs that. He's never leaving, and it looks so nice. You are just as bad as Quackity, you should be in a cell right now. Even after all that you did, his fur still looks beautiful; touch it, touch it now! You are going to get Dream killed, and Tommy will hate you more. You never went this far, it's not your fault Quackity is doing this. Sam let Quackity out without a word, leaving the prison after him. Sam could only wonder what Quackity planned to do with the souvenirs he took.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Okay so the Bakujirou fic made me want to read more of ur writing(uwu💖💖💖💖)so can you please write a fluffy tdmm fic of them playing Animal Crossing:New Horizons together featuring trans girl Momo(which is my favorite bnha trans hc tbh)?Pls include all your headcanons i want this to be as self-indulgent for you as possible

We are getting up to some hopefully good nonsense up in here~! Let’s see if I can’t cook up something tasty for ya! Also this was one of those prompts that really got away from me and kinda... rambled away from the main point of the request and dissolved into a bit of a character study with added notes of fun shipping goodness so please forgive the length! And obviously if this is unsatisfactory please feel free to scream at me for my sins.

Trigger Warning: Transphobia, Mentions/ References to Body Dysphoria

She wasn’t Nashi. 

Momo had to remind her of that fact every now and again, when the doubts about her appearance started to leak in. Did she present well enough? Did her hobbies speak loudly enough of the truth of her femininity or did people think she was faking? If she decided to go with a bob cut like Ochako’s, or a cute pixie like Mina's, would it make her features stand out wrong? Would she be fine wearing shorts, or would it be safer to pick a skirt or dress? It wasn't as often as it used to be that the anxiety about her appearance reared up - especially since she had been eagerly accepted by her peers when she confessed that she'd been deemed male at birth - but there were still moments where it did.

Like that evening, in specific.

While Father and Mother still worked in Pro Heroics, their roles had shifted quite drastically over the years. Momo herself had only been eight years old when Father was gravely injured in a Villain fight, taking a serious blow to protect a fleeing civilian. There had been countless surgeries and treatments to follow, leaving Father unable to move as well as he used to. He retired as an active on-duty Pro and became more involved with the agency behind the scenes. He worked more with the finances, employee relations and things of that ilk while Mother took over control as the public face. For a while, things were fine like that. It was a nice balance between them and, even though it was clear Father missed interacting with the public, he settled into his position quite well.

But as Momo's second year at UA started its second half, Father's health started deteriorating quickly. His immune system had been compromised as a result of all his past procedures and the side effects of that started to hit fast and hard. Momo herself had missed three days of classes to rush to see him when his cold escalated enough to warrant a hospital stay. While there, Mother and Father had discussed an upcoming business mixer. It would allow for them to connect with various other agencies to locate team-up partners as well as connecting to a few new support development teams. Mother had seemed rather concerned by the idea of going alone given that Father had always been the social core of their team.

And so, despite her discomfort, Momo had volunteered to go along. Mother had seemed surprised but agreed to take up her offer.

The day had been very strange leading up to the event itself. After getting out of her classes that Saturday, Mother picked her up to get put together. The full works were done for her; hair, make-up, manicure and pedicure, all coordinated to match with the long, sapphire blue evening gown Mother had picked out for her. Mother was an odd mix of overly involved and incredibly distant, taking care to ask if the length of her heels were comfortable for her or if the red of her lipstick was too dark for her liking. Once getting a response, though, she’d be heading off to tend to something for her own attire for the night without a second glance.

A part of her said she should have expected as much. It was a hard thing to define, her relationship with her mother. Ever since she came out and asserted who she really was - claimed Momo as her true name - Mother had never misgendered or dead named her. Even in the beginning, when the change in name and pronouns were still new, she’d gone out of her way to speak more carefully, to address her daughter the correct way. Momo took that as a sign that she was accepted, yes, but… Mother had always been incredibly distant. She seemed to only take an interest in Momo when it involved her Quirk training and her accomplishments therein. She often wondered if the problem was more that Mother had never wanted children in the first place and only agreed to having one to placate Father, or to carry on the family name.

It was rather disheartening to think about. 

The moment they entered the extravagant ballroom for the mixer, another Pro that Momo couldn’t place was flagging Mother down excitedly. “Yaoyorozu-San, such a delight!” he greeted happily, offering her his hand. His gaze flickered over to Momo, smile remaining in place though his eyes gleamed in confusion. “Ah, and who is this? A niece or cousin of yours or your husband’s?”

“No,” Mother said, quirking an eyebrow as if the answer should be obvious, “this is my daughter, Momo.”

Momo made sure to flash a demure smile as she bowed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,”

“A daughter? I heard your only child was a son,” Momo could feel herself tense as she righted her posture. Of course, she thought, it would already be starting so quickly into her evening.

“A mistake, I assure you. This is my daughter and I expect you to respect her as such,” There was an odd undercurrent to Mother’s tone that caused Momo to glance at her sideways. She looked thoroughly unamused, judging by the scowl and slight glare she had fixated on him, and her shoulders were squared as a show of confidence. She supposed that Mother got tired of hearing this same statement time and again.

He blinked slowly, nose wrinkling briefly, before nodding curtly. “Of course. My apologies,” he shifted his gaze away from her to Mother quickly, clearly uncomfortable. “Anyway, Yaoyorozu-San, I had been hoping to have a word with you! I have a case on my hands that seems well suited to your skills.”

Mother perked up a bit at that. “Hmm. For now I’ll just take a general overview. I assume you do not have any official documents regarding it on your person currently, yes?”

Momo let out a small breath at the attention being directed away from her. “I’ll be going to get a refreshment, Mother,” she announced, though she doubted that she was heard. She made a beeline for the aforementioned table. It was often at these kinds of get-togethers that there were two separate refreshment areas; one for the younger crowd and another for the adults. She grabbed the ladle in the punch bowl and started to pour some into a decorative plastic cup for herself. There were orange and lemon slivers floating on the surface of the liquid so she prepared herself for the tart bite of citrus on her tongue, a small smile on her lips.

For a second she thought of Shoto, most likely settled in the dorms with his Nintendo Switch, most likely catching bugs or fishing on his new Animal Crossing game. The system and game - according to him - were a bribe from Hawks to keep some secret from Endeavor. Shoto had held up that part of the bargain but, he confessed, had snitched to Natsuo. It had been the most entertaining family meal they’d had in a while after that, he assured, and she giggled to herself as she sipped her drink. He may not seem like it, but Shoto had a mischievous streak in him.

“No way! Is that you, Nashi?” She jumped and whipped around, noticing a group of three boys around her age approaching. She recognized one of them from her first grade school, before she’d started her transition, but it took a moment to place a name to the face.

She plastered on a smile as she turned to face them fully. “It’s Momo, actually. It’s good to see you again, though, Hiroki-Kun,”

Hiroki blinked and tilted his head, confused for a moment, before his eyes widened in epiphany. “Oh, okay, my bad! Momo it is!” he agreed with a grin before indicating the other two with him. “Well, let me introduce you! This guy to my left is Yori, and the one to my right is Manzo! Guys, this is Momo, the one I was telling you about!” His tone dipped slightly as he introduced the second boy with him, as if saying his name had left a bitter taste in his mouth, but quickly perked back up after.

Yori offered a shy smile, staying close to Hiroki, but still offering her his hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, Momo-San. Hiroki-Kun says a lot of great things about you,” he said quietly.

"Does he?" she asked in slight surprise.

Hiroki grinned at her, folding his hands behind his head. "Of course! You were, like, the coolest kid on the playground! Cool Quirk, super nice, really smart… Who wouldn't admire that?"

She looked away bashfully and giggled. "You're too kind, Hiroki-Kun," she mused, turning her attention to Manzo. She held out her hand to shake his hand next. "You're Manzo-Kun, right?"

“And you’re Nashi, yeah?” he quipped, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his slacks.

She flinched and shook her head, still trying to be civil. “No, I’m not. As I just told Hiroki-Kun, my name is Momo,”

“Your name now is Momo, but your real name is Nashi,” he retorted.

Her hand dropped to her side, clenching into a fist at her side as she tried to keep her cool. “Momo is my real name!”

“No,” Manzo laughed, taking a step towards her that caused her to take a step back, “Momo is the name you use to play dress up.”

Hiroki stepped forward, shoving an arm against Manzo’s chest and nudging him back that step. “Dude, don’t be a disrespectful ass!”

“She hasn’t said or done anything to offend you. And even if she did, that doesn’t give you the right to act like this,” Yori chimed in as well, a disappointed frown on his face.

Manzo glared before shoving Hiroki’s arm aside and advancing on Yori, who recoiled at his approach. “Oh, what? You think just because you have your stupid little buddy here you’re hot shit?” he barked, moving to shove him.

In a flash, Momo rushed forward and grabbed his arm. “Leave him alone!” she snapped.

Manzo whipped around to face her and wretched his arm free, a nasty grin on his face. “Oh, what, you wanna fight about it? Fine! Let’s fight like men! Since that’s what you really are, Nashi-Kun!” he goaded.

“I’m not a boy and my name isn’t Nashi!” she shouted back, grip on his arm tightening slightly as angry tears started to pool in her eyes. “My name is Yaoyorozu Momo and I’m a girl!”

There was a beat of silence following her words, making her glance up as she realized that all conversation had died around them. Her stomach churned at the realization of the spectacle they’d become. She wasn’t supposed to behave like this! She was supposed to come and be the perfectly sociable young lady her parents had raised her to be. She wasn’t supposed to be getting dragged into situations like this.

“What is the meaning of all of this?” Mother’s curt tone cut in, snapping her from her thoughts. She had to steel herself to look up only to see that furious orange eyes were not fixated on Momo herself, rather, Manzo.

“Yes, son, explain,” another voice chimed in from behind Mother. The man she’d been chatting with when Momo first wandered away approached, looking directly at Manzo with a clearly forced smile on his face.

Manzo opened up his mouth to speak when Hiroki interrupted with “Manzo was being a dick to Momo! He wouldn’t respect her identity or name!”

“I was just stating the truth!” Manzo sneered angrily, finally wrenching his arm free from her grasp.

“Son, you-!”

“Momo, we are leaving. Now,” Mother said, tone clipped and flat.

Manzo’s father looked at her in panic. “Um, uh, Yaoyorozu-San, how about we select a time to discuss that case I mentioned in a more professional setting? One where the adults can talk without the children around?”

Mother glared at him, the look so harsh he shrunk back, before moving to wrap an arm over Momo’s shoulders to lead her out. She said nothing as she allowed Mother to lead her out and to the car, the air between them tense and awkward, barely catching Hiroki trying to call an apology after her and Manzo’s father berating him.

The silence in the back of the limo once they were settled inside was staggering, making Momo wish she could stick her head out the window to scream instead of keeping her gaze fixed on her toes. It was even worse than the air between them on the walk over with the added lack of escape route. She felt like such a failure as she struggled to take in breaths to keep herself composed. She was a top student in the top class at the top Pro Heroics school, for crying out loud! She should be able to handle herself against a bigoted moron! He shouldn't be more terrifying than the ruthless villains she'd faced!

“Momo,” Mother said, her tone so shockingly soft that her head jerked up. Her gaze was fixated on her, as unreadable as ever.

Momo swallowed thickly as she forced herself to square her shoulders. She should apologize for her behavior. She’d caused a scene and surely Mother had been embarrassed by that. “I’m sorry, Mother,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said, blinking in surprise at her words. There was another pregnant pause as Momo let her gaze wander away again, fixated on a small fuzz ball in the limo carpeting by the heel of her left shoe. “Is that normal? What that little brat was saying and doing. Is that what normally happens to you at these kinds of things?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded timidly, wringing her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry, for blowing up like that. I can normally keep myself more composed than that during im-!”

“Do not apologize to me, Momo; you were not in the wrong,” she insisted, her voice catching in a mix of irritation and… concern? Mother opened her mouth three times before shutting it again and sighing, her shoulders slumping. “So this has happened and you never told us.”

Feeling a lump sprout and block her throat, Momo could only nod in response.

Mother lifted her head to meet Momo’s eye, her expression filled with sadness and regret. “You don’t feel comfortable coming to me with these concerns, do you?”

“It’s not just… I… So many more important things are going on right now. I don’t want to put more on your plate,” she said softly.

“Nothing is more important than you, Momo,” she argued with a shake of her head. She looked away for a moment before taking a breath and reaching out, setting one of her hands on top of Momo’s. “I haven’t always been the best with affection when it comes to you, or, well, really anyone aside from your Father. I suppose that I had always assumed that it was fine to leave those things to him, that one of us would focus on the emotional side of things and the other the more practical. Father was the fun parent you could play games and sing songs with, while I was the parent who made sure you kept your Quirk in check and your grades up. I thought… I thought that would be a good balance, that it would give you everything you needed. I’ve come to understand how wrong that belief was.”

“M-Mother?”

She placed her other hand above her heart, giving Momo’s a small squeeze as she held her gaze. “I’m going to work at being better for you, at giving you what you need from me. I need you to understand that my failings as a mother... None of that was ever your fault. I’m sorry that my actions made it seem like my love is something you have to work to earn. I love you, Momo, and I’m sorry I’ve presented that fact as being conditional and not eternal,”

She could feel more tears starting to pool in her eyes before she surged forward to embrace Mother. She was tense for a second before she embraced her back, one hand gently combing through her hair soothingly. The rest of the ride back to campus was spent like that, with her face burrowed into Mother’s arms as she cried and settled. It was strange, how nice it felt. It wasn’t like the bear hugs Father used to give her, where her small frame would be completely enveloped and held snug. No, this was something a bit more careful and delicate, something nostalgic and delicate but just as important.

Mother offered to walk her in, carefully dabbing the smeared mascara and smudged eyeshadow aside with a handkerchief, but Momo insisted she’d be fine alone. After stepping out of the vehicle and into the brisk evening air, she took a breath to help settle her nerves and maybe alleviate the twinge of a small headache she could feel brewing. It rattled inside her, still a little shaken up, but she squared her shoulders and made the trek inside. Mother didn’t leave until she was inside, she noted, and made a mental note to talk to her later more about everything that had happened that night. The incident with Manzo had been one thing, but there was the separate can of worms it had opened that she wanted to take care of, too.

She made sure to be quiet as she made her way to the elevator, the sounds of some of their peers milling about in the living room easy to hear. She was pretty sure they were gearing up for their Saturday evening game fest. Surely there’d be a barrage of broken controllers a la Bakugo if it was one of their Super Smash nights, she thought with a small huff, before turning to hit the elevator button. “Momo?” A familiar voice chimed beside her, causing her to jump.

She turned and blinked to be greeted by Todoroki Shoto, staring at her with his usual unreadable face, and let out a small squeak of shock. “Ah, Shoto,” she sighed as her shoulders sagged slightly. “Perhaps Ochako-Chan’s suggestion of putting a bell on you wouldn't be such a bad suggestion. You startled me.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, tilting his head as if sizing her up, and blinked slowly. “I got my Snooty and Cranky villagers earlier,” he said.

She gasped before pouting at him. “You said you’d wait for me to do any more island hopping, Shoto!” she huffed.

“I needed to load up so I could give Ojiro some oranges, and then I got kinda wrapped up doing stuff,” he admitted. He stole a glance at their classmates as Sato and Tooru made their way from the kitchen area with a few bowls and snacks. “Are you going to join everyone else for JackBox tonight?”

She shook her head. “No. Tonight has been a bit more… eventful than I would have liked,” she said, making sure to keep her composure. She didn’t want to worry him over it all. “I just want to go finish washing off the make up, put on some comfortable clothes and relax.”

“I’ll get snacks, then,”

“Huh? Snacks?”

“I still have two plots left for my island and a lot of Nook miles tickets. You get changed and I’ll meet you in your room in a few minutes so we can do them together,” And with that, he moved towards the kitchen.

She blinked and watched him before letting out a small laugh and shaking her head, hitting the elevator button. Shoto was an odd one to be sure, especially since he’d started working towards coming out of his shell more. A part of her was grateful but another part found his stubborn streak to be a bit exasperating. Then again, he only seemed to push when he knew something was wrong, so maybe it was more just trying to offer comfort? Despite his usual aloof demeanor, he was surprisingly astute at reading a room. As to whether or not he could understand how to react to what he was able to deduce was another matter entirely, though.

She set that aside while she got washed up and changed. Her mind shifted gears as she stared at her reflection, thinking about what Mother had said. She felt a tightness in her chest as her mind whirled again. There was some comfort in Mother acknowledging that there was room for growth, sure, but… The catalyst that remained unsaid left her sick. Even if Mother hadn’t said it, she knew this was a reaction to the looming shadow of Father’s death. She had to swallow a growing lump in her throat and shake her head, put those thoughts to bed until a more appropriate time.

She didn’t want to ruin the rest of she or Shoto’s evenings.

She opted for some old sweats and a tank top, taking a moment to comb her hair out from the complex updo it had been styled into, opting to leave it loose afterwards to help abate the small headache she had brewing. Though, if she was honest, sitting and playing games with her boyfriend seemed like a nice way to wind down. She had been having a blast watching Shoto become completely enamored with his little island and all the cute animal villagers with him.

She’d had her own file a good time longer than him and was mostly done with all the villager-hunting and replacing she’d wanted to do but found watching him work through his first experience with it endearing. He’d never even played an Animal Crossing game before so everything was completely new to him. Once she was settled, she took her unit off the dock and propped open the door. Not too long after she’d taken the time to give daily gifts to Phoebe, Ozzie, Chai and Shep, Shoto appeared in the doorway. He had four lychee ramunes, a bowl of popcorn, a bag of konpeito, a variety bag of hi-chews and a package of black licorice tucked away in his arms, his Switch case strap around his wrist. “Ah, here, let me help you,” she urged, setting her Switch down and getting up to help him. “Also, you can dock your Switch on mine. That way we can see your island visits on the big screen together.”

“Thanks. I grabbed a few different things but I can go downstairs and get more later,” he offered as she took the drinks and popcorn. He set the other snacks down on her dresser before heading over to her bed to rearrange the pillows to form the usual cocoon they made for play sessions together. She took his Switch and docked it for him, then grabbed his joycons and put them in the controller holder. Once that was all set up, Shoto settled into the large pillowy ring with his legs spread so that she could settle between them, resting her back against his chest, him using her pillows to prop him up and her relying on him.

She used her remote to flick on the television, then grabbed her console from the other end of the bed and reached for the bowl of popcorn, popping a few pieces into her mouth. “So you did some island hopping while I was gone? Find anyone you liked?” she asked as they watched his game load up.

“I encountered Diana on one of them. She talked to me like she didn’t know me, which was weird,” he said.

“Well, of course she did! That Diana is different from the Diana on my island,” she giggled. She then perked up and glanced up at him. “Oh, and I still need to come get some oranges from you. They’re the only fruit I’m missing on my island.”

“I still can’t believe that out of the fourteen people that have this game, I’m the only one who ended up with oranges as their island fruit. Or that one of you didn’t at least get it as your exotic option,” he commented as his character stepped out of his house. “Oh, and how soon before I can move my villagers' houses?” 

“You’ve already gotten your first three furnished homes, so I think you should have access to it. It’s just a matter of having the bells to spend on moving someone,” she explained as she glanced down at her own screen. Shep came rushing from the left to talk to her excitedly. “Who were you thinking about moving?”

“Roald. I want to move him to the other side of the island from me,”

“Aw, why? He’s so cute!”

“I think he’s plotting to kill me,” he said, completely serious as he stopped in front of the penguin in question's house. When he’d first made his file, Shari and Roald were his beginning villagers and he’d decided to place their tents close to his own for the sake of ease.

She snorted and looked up at him. “He’s just a penguin, Shoto,”

“Just look at his eyes, Momo… He’s a villainous mastermind,” To illustrate his point, he ran his character in a circle around the little avatar, before turning and darting to the left. “That’s why I need more villagers like Ruby and Kyle, who have my back no matter what. I need a whole squad for the day he finally snaps.”

“You don’t think Gayle and Punchy would have your back?”

“Gayle would probably be on my side. She and Roald had a fight the other day so there’s bad blood there. But I don’t want Punchy putting his life on the line. He is a precious boy who must be protected,” he said, glancing down at her with a stern gaze.

She couldn’t help but snort at the expression. Specifically in that it was being enacted regarding pixelated animals on a Nintendo game. “And did you find anyone worthy of enlisting for this most noble of causes?” she teased.

He hummed, reaching with one hand to grab a bit of popcorn himself as he came to a stop between a labelled plot at the edge of the beach. He clicked on the sign, pulling up a card that read “This spot reserved for Static’s new home.”

“Oh, you got Static? He’s a great choice for your Cranky!”

“I like that he is a very tiny squirrel with a very deep voice,” he said.

“Much like how you like that Punchy is a cat and is Lazy?”

“You get me,” he said before running upwards. He crossed a bridge to another area to show another plot with a sign that read “This spot reserved for Willow’s new home.”

Momo giggled. “Willow’s a good choice, too. I almost expected that you’d try to get another cat villager for your Snooty villager, but sheep villagers are always a good one, too,” she said excitedly. She plopped a few more pieces of popcorn into her mouth as she walked into Bruce’s house on her own game. “So you officially have every personality type on your island! Do you have any idea as to what kind of personality types you’d like to have duplicates of?”

“Hmm… Not too sure. You have two Jocks and two Normals, right?” As he asked that, he ran back to his Resources Center to get the first of his last two house kits.

“Yeah. I have Bam and Tybalt, and Bertha and Savannah,” she hummed. She watched as he placed the new house right behind his own, as if it would be watching the back of his own. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the sheer ridiculousness of him.

He hummed thoughtfully before he made his way into the airport. “I guess I’ll just go for characters I like. Personality doesn’t really matter to me since I already have one of every type.”

“That’s a good approach, I think,” she hummed, tossing a bit more popcorn into her mouth. “How many Nook Tickets do you have?” 

“13,” he said while speeding through the dialogue to board the plane. “I farmed Nook miles after I found Static and Willow so I could go get more villagers once you got back.”

She tilted her head up and pressed a small kiss to his chin. “So sweet,” she hummed before looking down at her own game as she started looking for her daily fossils. She’d already completed the fossil exhibits in her game, but like the extra scratch she got from selling the duplicates.

For a moment things were quiet as Shoto used his ladder to climb up the three tiers of the small island to the top, where his potential new villager was waiting. To then immediately start climbing back down at the sheep sitting in front of the campfire. “Nope. Nope. N. O. P. E,” he mumbled as he did.

“Aw, you don’t want Pietro? He’s considered rare!”

“And he can stay rare and away from my island,”

The next three islands were deemed ones Shoto wasn’t interested in - Eugene, Jeremiah and Limberg - not that she could blame him with Limberg. “He’s not particularly good,” she mumbled.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve seen a single mouse villager that I like the design of,” he commented as he wandered off the desk and onto his fifth island.

“Bree and Dora are pretty cute but most of them are really lackluster,” she agreed, saving her own file and setting her Switch in her lap as he approached the campfire.

Shoto blinked in slight surprise. “A snow leopard?”

“Actually, Bianca’s classified as a tiger, despite her markings,” she said. She watched as he immediately invited her to his island. “Just so you know, she’s a Peppy type, I think.”

“She looks like Fuyumi-Nee,” he said. Ah, of course that would be enough to get him on board with adding Bianca to his roster.

She set her Switch aside and carefully maneuvered off of her bed. “I’m going to open one of the ramune. Do you want me to open one for you, too?”

She made quick work of opening the drinks and offering him his once he finished placing his last plot back on his own island. She took a quick sip from hers before opening the package of black licorice and eating a piece as she watched him. “Mind if I ask you something unrelated, Shoto?”

He glanced up at her, mismatched eyes sparking with something she couldn’t quite place, before he set his drink on the bedside table and patted the space she’d left. “Sure,” he said, his avatar boarding the plane to do his next round of island hops.

She was quick to settle back in with him, turning her body this time to snuggle into his chest. She felt him shift to wrap his arms around her, controller lax in his hand. “We’ve discussed it before but… What do you think it takes to forgive someone?”

He let out a thoughtful noise. “Well, I think forgiveness is different from person to person. Everyone has a threshold for what they feel is forgivable, so I think that needs to be considered,” He set the controller off to the side to card one hand through her hair while the other stroked up along her spine, the movements slow and soothing. “Speaking from my own situation… I chose forgiveness because I could see a genuine change and a refusal to shy away from the wrongs that had been done. I’m still keeping a distance, and I’m ready to burn that bridge in a heartbeat if I see a relapse, but… I can see authentic change. And that’s enough for me to offer my tentative, conditional forgiveness.” 

She nodded at his words, closing her eyes and burrowing into him further. She had always wanted to have a better relationship with Mother, if she was honest. So… This could be a good chance for that, right? They could work on mending things between them and find some common ground. The thought of having a better relationship with her left a warmth in her chest, one that made her smile. Could they have proper Mother-Daughter days? Maybe she could learn more about the older woman’s hobbies and interests outside of Pro Heroics work? That could be nice. “Thank you, Shoto,” she mumbled.

“Any time, Momo,” he said, tipping his head to press a peck to the top of her head. He perked up again and glanced at the screen. “Not to derail but… I think it’s another cat?”

“Oh yeah? What color?” she mumbled.

He shifted his hands to pick his controller back up, keeping his arms looped around her though. “Grey. Oh, their eyes are different colors,”

“Oh, that’s-!” Momo’s eyes snapped open and she sat up, looking wildly over her shoulder at the screen. “Shoto, that’s Raymond! You got Raymond!”

[my-soul-sings]

just my luck: chapter 2

Fandom: Wannabe Challenge Characters: Taehee x Reader

Summary (placeholder): Having been cursed to live a life filled with misfortunes, moving to a new city to start anew was, as expected, a difficult process. But things start to change after you encounter a mysterious doctor who seems to know you even though you’ve never met him before.

chapter 1

***

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault.” 

It was a familiar voice, one that made your heart pound and ache painfully in your chest. And it was the only thing replaying in your head when you woke up, though it began to rapidly ebb away as your eyes opened, receding like a tide as quickly as it had come. 

Waking up from what felt like a long, distant dream, the first thing you noticed as you blinked your eyes open was the moisture clinging to your eyelashes. You raised your fingers gingerly to touch your cheeks, staining its tips with tears. Glancing around, you realised you were in a doctor’s office, lying on an examination table. It didn’t take long for everything to come rushing back to your memory as your head throbbed and pulsed in pain. 

You remembered coming to the clinic because you had a fever—how could you forget, with this shitty headache and the faint nausea that was rising from the sheer pain—and then the doctor had started acting strange, and then nothing. You must have fainted, and then he probably carried you to the examination table afterwards, but now he was gone. 

The office was empty and silent, save for the sounds of your ragged breathing. Staying and waiting for him to come back didn’t sound like a good idea at all. There was no telling what he might do to you and if he pulled anything—you didn’t have the strength to call for help in this state either. 

You groaned and clutched your head from the fresh wave of pain that washed over you as you struggled to sit up and push your legs over the edge of the examination table. Gingerly, you stepped down, feet unsteady on the hard flooring beneath you. Black spots covered the edges of your vision, and you squeezed your eyes shut in an effort to will the nausea away. You had no intention of fainting twice in one day. At least, not until you got to another clinic where hopefully the doctors were more normal.

Unfortunately, at that moment you heard the door click open and then you heard footsteps rushing to your side. You felt hands on your shoulders trying to support you, and you didn’t have any strength to try pushing him away. He helped you back to the examination table and pushed you back down into a lying position. Like a rag doll, your limp and weak body made no attempt to resist. 

“You shouldn’t be moving,” Dr. Kim chided with a frown. 

“How… How long was I… out for?” Damn, it was hard to even speak. Not when you were lightheaded and when you could only manage shallow breaths. 

He checked his watch. “About five minutes. I checked your temperature earlier and you’re having a very high fever. It’s 39.2 degrees.” 

“Shit.” The curse left your lips before you could stop yourself. All this because of a little rain? Screw you, rain. 

“I wanted to wait until you were awake before I continued the check-up,” he continued. “I don’t think you need to go to the hospital since you didn’t hit your head. The main issue is the fever, but if you want to go to the hospital for a check-up to be safe I think that would be a good idea too.” 

“No, it’s fine,” you said. “If you say I don’t have to go then I trust you.” You really didn’t. It was just that you’d rather not imagine the hospital bill if you actually made a trip to the A&E or something. 

“Alright then, I’ll just do a quick check-up on you now.” 

Admittedly, you were worried that he might try something funny. But then the rest of the check-up went by smoothly, and he maintained a completely professional demeanour while doing his job. It was as if everything that you recalled happening before you fainted had been a mere figment of your imagination. There was not a single trace left of the emotional doctor from before. The man in front of you now seemed like a completely different person—dare you say, even normal. If he did have any emotions, they were masked behind a polite smile and a courteous voice as he asked you questions about what you’d been eating, what might have caused the fever, whether there was pain in the areas where he was lightly applying pressure. 

Could it have been the fever conjuring up some nonsensical drama in your head? Maybe you had knocked your head earlier and you didn’t even know it. 

“I’ll prescribe you with medication for your fever and cough,” he said, returning to his desk to type some things down on his computer. 

“Thanks,” you said, sitting up. It didn’t feel as difficult this time, maybe because your head was starting to clear up a little. You just hoped you’d be able to get home in one piece.

“Do you need more time to lie down?” he asked, eyes widening in mild alarm when he turned around and saw you trying to get off the examination table again. 

“I’m feeling better now,” you replied, but made no protest when he held you by the arm to help you down. He released you when you looked like you were steadier on your feet, and you took a few steps forward experimentally, to show him that you would be fine.

“Thanks. That’s all, right?” 

“Just one more thing,” he added. “I’ll need you to come back in three days so I can check up on you.”

His words took a couple of seconds to register in your muddled head. “What?” Was it normal for a general practitioner to ask you to return for a check-up? 

“Is it inconvenient?” he asked, raising a brow. 

“Oh, no it’s not. I mean- I live pretty close by so it’s not that inconvenient.” You were beginning to ramble in your confused state. “It’s just- I thought GPs usually don’t ask patients to come back for a second consultation.”

“I suppose it is a bit unusual,” he admitted with a smile. It was difficult not to be charmed by it, or by the way his eyes met yours. His smile was brighter and more genuine than the polite ones he had been offering you for the past couple of minutes, and it looked good on him. “It’s something I ask of my patients sometimes, just to be thorough and make sure that everything’s alright. And the follow-up consultation will be free of charge, so if it’s convenient for you I’d appreciate it if you came by so I can make sure that you’re okay.” 

The words “free of charge” did make his offer sound a lot more attractive. This was entirely to your benefit too, there was no compelling reason for you to turn him down. There was still the nagging thought in the back of your mind clinging to the memory of his odd behaviour before you passed out, but you decided to ignore it for now. He didn’t seem bad, and if he really wanted to try something funny he could have done it earlier, but he hadn’t pulled any tricks with you so far, so that had to mean something. 

“Alright. Thanks for the offer. So I’ll come back in three days… Should I come at this time?”

“Any time that suits you is fine,” he answered. His smile seemed to have grown bigger, or maybe you were just imagining things.

“Okay then, thanks.” With a curt nod and polite smile, you turned to leave. The friendly smile he gave as he watched you go lingered in your mind as you waited for the receptionist to call on you to give you the medicine he had prescribed.

What a crazy day it had been—and it had only just begun, seeing as it was still technically morning. 

The small plastic bag of medicine in your hands rustled as you left the clinic, but just as you took a couple of steps outside, you heard someone call your name from behind.

You winced when your head jerked back sharply, and there you found Dr. Kim jogging towards you. He was no longer wearing his white coat, and now you could see his outfit in full: a navy blue button-up shirt paired with black business pants and a pair of black derbys. His soft black hair bounced lightly with his movements, a little like cotton candy. You couldn’t help but stare at the sight — he was effortlessly handsome, turning heads as he went. It felt strange to feel eyes on you when he approached you with a breathtaking smile.

“Did I leave something behind?” you asked, peering at his hands to see if he had brought whatever it was with him. They were empty, however.

“No, it’s my lunch break now. I thought I would walk you home since you said you lived nearby.” 

Alarm bells in your head went off again. Was he trying to follow you home? What if he turned out to be a crazy stalker? 

Your apprehension must have shown, because he immediately raised his hands in surrender and his eyes widened in panic. “I know this sounds strange. It’s just— I was worried since you fainted earlier… I’m worried you might faint again on the way home. So I thought I should walk you home in case anything happened.” 

...Okay, that sounded fair enough. You had fainted earlier and also insisted on not going to the hospital. Still though, he was going above and beyond. Either he was an exceptionally good person or he was being a creep. Taking the risk didn’t sound worth it. 

Choosing your words carefully, you replied in a measured tone, “Thanks for worrying, but I’ll be fine. My place is within walking distance from here. I feel better after lying down so I think I can manage.” 

The concern didn’t disappear from his face. Instead, the wrinkles in his forehead only deepened at your response. “Still… just to be safe. If it makes you feel better,” he added with some haste, “let’s just say I’m doing this for my benefit. I don’t want to be accused of medical negligence if anything happens to you on the way home.”

Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but breathe out a chuckle. “I promise I won’t press charges, alright? I made the decision on my own.”

“Can I really trust that?” he retorted, although the kind smile playing on his lips indicated that he wasn’t really taking offense. Not to mention, it was doing an effective job of melting away the tension in your shoulders. 

He didn’t seem like a bad person… maybe you could take that risk. Besides, he looked like he might actually cry if you didn’t let him bring you home. 

“I’ll leave once I see you to your place. I won’t enter or do anything weird. If it’ll make you feel safer you can turn on the audio recording function in your phone—”

“It’s fine,” you interrupted him mid-ramble. “I’ll trust you.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, looking genuinely happy to hear that. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you said with a shrug. “You’re a bit weird but I don’t think you’re a bad person.” 

The confusion that showed on his face was almost cute. “I’m… weird?”

“Let’s just walk,” you muttered, mentally kicking yourself for saying that out loud. “How long is your lunch break anyway?”

“An hour,” he replied, walking in step with you. “Is your place very far from here?”

You shook your head, pointing to the building in the distance. “It’s just a five-minute walk.” 

“Oh.” 

Maybe you heard wrong, but you thought you detected a hint of disappointment in his short response. 

“I’ve been working here for a while, but I’ve never seen you before,” he remarked. “I suppose that’s a good thing. It means you’re healthy, right?” 

A cynical laugh left your lips at that, which made him stare at you quizzically. “Was I wrong?” he asked. 

“I just moved here yesterday,” you told him, omitting the part where you weren’t exactly the healthiest person either. It wasn't that you fell sick easily, it was more like you got injured far more often than the average person. But if your bad luck continued, maybe you’d be seeing this doctor more often than he expected. 

“I see.”

You snuck a sideways glance at him, noticing how his eyebrows were pressed together in a thoughtful look. His eyes seemed distant, like his mind was far away. You wondered what he might be thinking about.

The rest of the short walk was filled with him asking you questions and making small talk. It consisted of the usual questions any stranger might ask you: How are you adjusting? Where did you come from? Why did you decide to move here? 

It was strange how easily you were able to open up to him, despite the guardedness you felt earlier. It just felt natural somehow, like seeing a friend you hadn’t met in a long time. Easing into the conversation and listening to the sound of his voice was nicer than you expected it to be. 

Before long you found yourself at the entrance of your apartment building, and you weren’t sure if the small twist in your heart was disappointment at not being able to ask your share of questions of the doctor. He had asked you questions the entire way here but you hadn’t learned all that much about him, other than that his smile was contagious, his laughter felt like a refreshing summer breeze and that every time he looked at you it made your heart jump in your chest.

 “I’ll head in on my own. Thanks,” you said, forcing a smile to your face. 

He took a moment to survey the building, his lips pressed into a line. Then his gaze returned to you, the serious expression on his face compelling your eyes to drop to your feet. The intensity in his eyes was a bit too much to handle. 

“Before you go, could you add my number to your phone?” 

“What?” Your response was immediate, and when you looked at him again he seemed a bit more bashful than before. 

“I know this is strange, but in case anything happens, you can call me. You don’t have to give me your number, but I’d feel better knowing that you have mine just in case, especially since you said you don’t know anyone around here.” 

You pondered over this, but found no reason to reject him. So with a shrug, you took your phone from your pocket and dialled the number that he gave you into the keypad, before saving the contact as ‘Dr. Kim’. 

Maybe he could tell that you didn’t feel comfortable giving him your number. He didn’t take out his phone or wait around after that. He simply gestured for you to go into the building, reminding you to take your medicine and to get some rest. 

The walk into the building felt a little more lonely than before, now that you could only hear the sound of your footsteps. You didn’t realise before, but coming here to a new place all on your own had made you feel a twinge of loneliness you didn’t feel back home. It wasn’t like you had many friends in the first place, but at least Seohee was there. 

You sighed. This was just the fever talking. You tended to crave company when you were sick, after all. It didn’t change the fact that you were excited to start a new life here. You could pursue your dreams, do what you had wanted to for so long, without anyone holding you back. 

Still, just before you disappeared into the lobby, you looked back. There wasn’t a real reason for it, but you did it anyway. 

And then you saw him, waiting at the gate, watching with a pensive expression as you went in. When he noticed you had turned around though, his expression melted into a bright smile and he waved. 

It cleared away the loneliness you felt in that moment. In its place, a pleasant warmth spread in your chest at the sight, and a smile lifted your lips before you realised it. 

When you returned to your apartment, the first thing you did was change the name of his contact.

Dr. Strange.

You grinned, satisfied. It had a nice ring to it. 

[tanzen-neko]

Birthday Love

anonymous  asked:

Heck yay! So can I plz plz plz request an ikesen nobu's fic(*I think it's obvious😝 🙈🙈*). What if it's MC's birthday and he finds out about it like less than 1 week about it and is struggling to gift her something? With the present situation it's pretty much difficult to celebrate one's birthday 😥.. Well if not how about some tickle fight?.. Oops😅 I got too carried away! Plz stay safe! 🤗🤗💕

A/N: This ended up coming out as fluff instead of smut, so hopefully it’s what you wanted. I hope you enjoy it, lovely!

Ikemen Sengoku

Nobunaga x mC

The sun’s warm rays on her face felt amazing. A stray breeze blew through, and she turned her face in an effort to catch it. Humming happily to herself, she hung the bedding out to dry before practically skipping back to the castle. Smiling and waving at the maids as they passed her by, she could barely contain the bubbling excitement in her chest. Nobunaga had been away for two weeks now in the neighboring daimyo discussing a potential trading partnership. While she was proud of him for his direct involvement in anything that could hinder the peaceful and prosperous nature of his city, she could admit that the selfish part of her wished he would have just sent Hideyoshi and Mitsunari in his stead. Still, they often said absence made the heart grow fonder, and she knew in her case that it was true. For the past two days, her absent minded nature had been ridiculed by Ieyasu, and teased by Mitsuhide. She couldn’t help it, however. Her mind kept drifting away to picture Nobunaga arriving home, proud and breathtakingly handsome on his favorite steed with that sexy smirk on his face when he greeted her. It was enough to make her swoon right here in the hallway. Instead, the daydreaming just caused her to run into a strolling Masamune.She let out a shrill yelp, and stumbled back.

“Woah, lass. Didn’t mean to startle you. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Sorry about that. My head was in the clouds again,” she said, blushing fiercely.

Masamune gave her a knowing look with his piercing blue eye. “Ah, excited for a certain warlord’s return? If you’re too lonely to wait, you could always come to mine and-”

“Masamune!” she interrupted hotly. “I’ll wait for Nobunaga to return, thank you very much.”

He let out a laugh, and held his hands up in defeat.

“Just suggesting it, lass. Just suggesting. I’m sure he’s hurrying back. Especially since he’ll arrive on your birthday. I’ll whip you up something special to eat while I’m here.”

She beamed up at him. Since returning back to his own city, she only got to sample Masamune’s delicious cooking when he paid them a visit. He always made sure to make her favorite foods. She clasped her hands together in excitement. 

“Anything you cook will be more than perfect, Masamune. Don’t go out of your way on my account.”

“Nonsense,” he teased before bending over in a mock bow. “Anything for the beautiful princess of Azuchi.”

“It seems you didn’t wait long for me to be away before you made a move,” A deep voice exclaimed from behind.

Turning around, _______ felt her heart leap into her throat. Standing there was her beautiful Nobunaga. Before it even registered, she was sprinting to his arms. She launched herself at him, and he grunted at the impact of her weight in his arms. Still, he caught her up and swung her around, chuckling softly. When he set her back down, she buried her face in his chest. He smelled of sweat, and dust from his journey, but she couldn’t have been happier. She finally untangled herself from his arms as Masamune made his way over to clap Nobunaga heartedly on the shoulder. 

“Nobunaga! You’re back early! I trust your business went well?”

“Naturally. Although if I had known _______ would be subject to you, I would have brought her with me.” Nobunaga tucked her possessively under his arm, glaring as he stared at his friend. Masamune wasn’t phased, however.

“And make me miss out on her lovely company? No, thanks. Besides, I have a few sweet surprises for the lass’ birthday I think she’d like.”

_______ felt Nobunaga’s arm stiffen around her shoulder. She glanced up at his face. His forehead was wrinkled, and his frown disrupted the smooth skin of his brow.

“Nobunaga, are you ok?” she asked in concern. “You must be tired from the journey. Why don’t you go rest?” Nobunaga shook his head no, a strange look in his carnelian eyes. 

“I have to go into town. I will be returning late so sleep in your chambers tonight,” he said before dropping an absent minded kiss on her forehead. Nodding at Masamune, he turned around and made his way rapidly back where he came from, his kimono swishing around his legs. Standing there with Masamune, _______ felt a mixture of feelings. Embarrassment that he left her here after being away for so long, concern at the worry she saw on his face, even a little anger. She missed him for so long, and he just got home and left? Masamune cleared his throat awkwardly as she felt her face begin to grow red. It was common knowledge (and the center of many jokes) that whenever Nobunaga came back from a long journey, he immediately would take her to his chambers to make up for lost time. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing, lass. He probably just forgot about something important.”

She forced a smile out, and made some asinine excuse to leave. She knew he wasn’t buying it, but she didn’t care.Was he that jealous of her speaking to Masamune?  She mentally shook her head, and decided to just go back about her day.  If he didn’t want to see her, well then she didn’t want to see him either, though the prickling behind her eyes said otherwise. 

The rest of the day passed by quickly, and before she knew it, it was time for dinner. Normally, she was happy to dine in the main hall with everyone else, but the word has spread about Nobunaga’s return and his abrupt departure. She didn’t think she could sit there and take the sympathetic stares or forced smiles from anyone pitying her and wondering why they weren’t at least dining together. So instead, she snuck into the kitchen and made herself a tray before quickly returning to her room. After eating, she bathed, laid out her bedding, and even changed into her sleeping kimono all without hearing any footsteps past her door. Nobunaga still hadn’t come back. She let out a huff, as she laid down to try and get some rest. The night grew longer, but she couldn’t find sleep. She sat up with a sigh, and decided to take a scroll through the gardens. Gathering up a thicker kimono to put over her nightclothes, she slid on her sandals. As she opened her door, she could just make out the shadow of someone disappearing through the door of Nobunaga’s room, followed by the soft swish of the closing door.

“Nobunaga?” she whispered. He hadn’t heard her, so she made her way down to his room. Her heart was pounding, and her hands were growing slick with sweat. She hesitated before calling his name gently again. What if he turned her away? She tried to tell herself not to be so silly, but after his brusque way of dealing with her this morning and the order not to come to his chambers, she wasn’t sure. It felt like ages before he answered her.

“Is that you, my fireball?” a weary voice called from the other side. She heard him shuffle around on the other side of the door. “Well come in then.”

She slid the paper door open slowly, and tentatively stepped inside. His room was illuminated by his lanterns, and the moon shining through his open door. Sitting at his desk, was a very worn out Nobunaga. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises, and even his kimono seemed to wilt with exhaustion. He shot her a tired smile as she made her way over to him. 

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” he asked. She shook her head as she sat down by his feet. 

“I, I couldn’t sleep. But what about you? You look dead on your feet.” She toyed with her hem, still a little unsure of where she stood. 

 “I’ll be fine. But you should be getting to bed. I’ll see you out.” Nobunaga rose and strood past her, but she shot her hand out, and caught his sleeve.

“Nobunaga, wait. What is going on with you today? Where did you go? Were you that jealous of Masamune talking to me earlier? He was just teasing like he usually does.”

Nobunaga sighed before pulling her up to her feet, and grasping her close to his chest.

“Nobunaga?” She asked, a little startled. 

  He sighed again before letting her go. “Forgive me. I, I had forgotten about your birthday. My mind has been occupied with thoughts on how to aid our city, when it should be occupied with thoughts of you. I left to go find you a present. I saw some fabric a city over, and thought you may like it.So I rode back, and convinced the store owner to allow me to purchase the material for you despite the late hour.”

“Oh Nobunaga, you didn’t have to do that. I would have just been happy with you being home. No wonder you’re so tired.”She ran her hands up and down his arms in a soothing motion, trying to let him know she wasn’t too upset.

He chuckled. “At least see the fabric before you go deciding for yourself.” Going back to his desk, he brought her a bolt of the prettiest fabric she had ever seen. Bright gold, it seemed to glitter in the light. It had shots of sky blue and pink, overlaid with bright purple flowers. She gasped when he handed it to her, and stroked it almost reverently. Already her head was running with ideas of what she could make with it. A kimono and a matching obi? Maybe a yukata for the summer months? Maybe she could even try her hand at making some lingerie to show Nobunaga? The possibilities were endless.  She set the fabric down gently before throwing her arms around his neck, and pulling him down for a kiss.

“Oh Nobunaga, I love it! It’s beautiful! How did they come up with this pattern? Can we go back someday,and see what else they have?”

Nobunaga laughed at her rambling, and she felt her face flush with embarrassment. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

He reached his large hand out, and stroked the top of her head, messing up her hair slightly. “Don’t apologize. Besides, isn’t it the job of a boyfriend to listen to his girlfriend’s interests? I’ll buy the entire store if it puts a smile on your face.”

Even now, it still gave her a heart a small thrill to hear him call himself her boyfriend. And combined with that lazy smirk of his? Ugh, she didn’t think her heart could take it. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he leant back to get a good look at her.

“ Just a few bolts will suffice,” she said with a laugh. She loved that Nobunaga loved to pamper her, but she had to keep him in line lest he go too far. 

“Still, I owe you my deepest apologies. This isn’t enough to make up for my lack of attention. Tell me what you want. Name it, and it shall be yours.”

She pretended to think hard, even though she bore no anger towards him. How could she when she saw how hard he worked to provide a prosperous and fair life not only for his people, but for her too? 

“Anything? Hmm… I know! Let me lay your head on my lap, and stroke your hair.” 

Nobunaga did a bit of a double take, and frowned hard at her. This was hardly what he meant, and she could see the hesitation and confusion in his eyes. She stopped him before he could question her choice.

“It’s my birthday, is it not? And you owe me a favor. And I want to stroke the hair of the great Oda Nobunaga.” 

He smiled softly at her, knowing exactly what she was playing at. With a resigned grimace, he nodded.

“Very well. Whatever my princess wants, she shall have.”

Smiling in victory, she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him over to his futon, the thick plush padding carpeting her knees as she crawled across it. Tugging a reluctant Nobunaga to her lap, she held back her chuckle at the sweet sigh of contentment that escaped him as she combed her fingers through his hair. Unable to resist the urge, she slowly moved her fingertips down behind his ears before tickling him lightly. Nobunaga gave a slight jump before shifting his position in order to glare up at her. “And just what do you think you are doing?”

She rounded her eyes in mock innocence. 

“What’s wrong? I’m just helping my dearest love relax. It’s not my fault that he’s so ticklish.”

Nobunaga let out a snort of disbelief before settling back down on her lap, and closing his eyes.

“Give me a few hours, and I’ll show you what it is to be ticklish.”

She laughed at him before resuming her strokes. Staring down at him with the love brimming in her heart, she was more than happy for him to make good on his threat.

[aaltjelng]

so the lovely @languagessi sent me an ask with the numbers for the ask game but i managed to accidentally delete the ask:)) well, i decided to try to answer anyway, hopefully i remembered the numbers right haha... so here are the answers!

12. Vocab or grammar?

It’s a tough question! I guess it kind of depends on the language... I am utterly in love with Korean grammar! It might sound strange but I just find studying it so fascinating and rewarding. It also feels really nice to finally be learning a language that shares some traits with Finnish (no articles, a lot of suffixes...) I find studying Korean grammar a lot nicer than for example French grammar (although I do like that too!), mostly because I struggle a lot with remembering the genders of nouns and that makes me frustrated, and articles and genders feel kind of unnecessary to me as a Finnish speaker whereas the nuances that can be expressed through Korean grammar are really interesting.

I don’t have such strong opinions on vocab. In the beginning I did find it hard to remember Korean vocab and I still struggle with that a bit, but it’s getting better and better all the time. I think I like learning vocab the most when studying Swedish! I don’t know why, but I guess it just feels like it sticks more easily. I do love some Korean, especially native Korean words with all my heart... And learning vocab can feel super rewarding: that feeling when you spot a word you just learned in a random text and realize you can actually understand what it is saying is really the best feeling.

23. How did you get into languages?

Honestly I have loved languages for as long as I can remember. When my brother started learning English at school at the age of 9 (I was 7), I secretly listened to him and our mom studying. I also stole his English books and secretly read them by myself and tried to study.

After that I did have some time that I was just studying at school, I was always good at it but not as enthusiastic as I am now. It clicked in 2017 when I was 13 years old and I just started studying Swedish on my own. We had it in school too, but I was frustrated with how slow we were going. Somehow I just thought about the idea of studying and speaking this language and languages in general and it just made me really excited and happy. It is really difficult to explain but languages really bring out this certain feeling in me and that feeling has stayed with me since that year.

24. Why are you studying your target language?

So I actually have four target languages right now: French, Swedish, Italian and Korean. English is also a foreign language for me but I am not really interested in improving my English level as of now. 

Out of these four languages, I am now actively trying to improve my Korean, while the other three are more or less on “maintenance mode”. I study those three at school as well so I am still using and studying them, just not with the same intensity as Korean.

Anyway, here’s a little bit about each of these languages and why I am studying them!

French: I started it at school at the age of 9. It was quite a clear decision for me back then, I was really interested in the language, I had been to France many times and the Dutch side of my family actually originates from France (like hundreds of years ago my ancestors fled persecution from France to the Netherlands). I really loved studying French and my interest has only grown over the years. I love speaking French, I love reading French, I love listening to French and writing in French, and I really want to get my French to an advanced level. I will probably work on my French more actively next year and really try to bring it to C1 level before my matriculation exam. Now my French is somewhere between B1 and B2.

Swedish: I started it at school when I was 12 years old. In Finland Swedish is an obligatory subject so I didn’t actually choose starting it haha but I have always loved Swedish so I was motivated from the start. My aunt lives in Stockholm and I have been there for about 20 times. My mom also loves Swedish and I think she has also been a factor in my love for Swedish. As I said earlier, Swedish is actually the language that inspired me to start actively self studying languages. I just felt so frustrated with the pace we were moving at at school and I just thought to myself: “I learned English more or less fluently mostly with my own effort. Why couldn’t I do that with Swedish too?”. English I had learned because of other factors, not really my enthusiasm about the language or language learning but more because I needed to understand English in order to understand fandom things and books and bands I loved. So I thoguht that, well, books were really the thing that brought my English to a new level, so I should probably do that with Swedish. And so I did that and studied hard and got my Swedish to an intermediate level. I studied actively for about 5 months, after that I’ve just been mostly relying on school. This spring & summer I am planning on taking the next step and bringing my Swedish to an advanced level before my matriculation exam.

Italian: I started studying Italian at school last year with my best friend. She is part Italian and I thought that because I love learning languages and I love her and there is a possibility take Italian, why not take Italian? I also love Italian history and art and Italian is a very significant language in classical music (I am studying to become a classical violinist/violist). So I have been taking Italian for a bit more than a year now and I am around an A2 level. Next year, before the matriculation exam, I’d love to get my Italian to a B2 level or at least a B1 level.

Korean: In the summer 2019 I stumbled across some videos and heard my first songs by BTS. One of them: Paldogangsan or so-called “Satoori rap”. I heard it and just instantly fell in love. It’s a song about Korean dialects, and the way the rap showcased the different sounds of the Korean language... It really inspired me. Well, other things happened in my life, I got depressed, my other psychiatric and neurological issues got worse and so on. Through that time I discovered some truly amazing and touching songs that had lyrics that really moved me to my core, some by BTS but most by Agust D, and I knew I had to learn that language, at least a little bit. At first I just learned hangul to make sure that the lyrics I was scribbling to my diary weren’t complete nonsense. During the following six months I didn’t actively study Korean, I just played with Duolingo here and there, listened to a few beginner TTMIK lessons, acquired some vocabulary I was hearing in songs... 

But in May 2020 something just struck me and I just got this sudden burst of inspiration. I realized that if I really wanted to learn this language, what better time to start than now? I guess I had been feeling kind of intimidated, because I knew that learning a language, any language and especially one like Korean would take a long time. But I still remember this one post that I saw on tumblr. It said something about how usually when we think about how long learning a language will take, we feel weirded out about thinking ourselves being that much older. But the thing is, we will get older anyway. Might as well be older and know this language that you deeply love. That idea has stayed with me since. Let’s take one estimate: getting fluent in Korean will take about 4 years. In 4 years I’ll be 21. So? In 4 years I’ll be 21 anyway, why not be a 21 year old who knows Korean. And I also realized that I am still so young. I have so much time to learn so many languages. Might as well use it.

So I have been actively studying by myself for about 6 months and would place myself somewhere around the A2 level. This October I made this challenge for myself: for 100 days, study as hard as you can. Learn as much as you can and do not give up. I really want to see how far I can come if I give this my all! I’m wishing on getting to a B1 level at the end of this challenge but we’ll see. WIth Korean, and I guess with any language, it’s quite easy to get discouraged by thinking how much you still don’t know, so it’s important to also realize how much you already know. I have come so far already during these past 6 months, and I am really proud of myself. That motivates me to keep going: I learned all that, so I can learn these other things too!

Okay hahaha sorry for my very very long post and making you listen to my ramblings in my incoherent English.  I just love languages so much and I could talk about them for forever!

Thank you if you read this far, I hope you have a wonderful day. <3

Aleijd

[mwolf0epsilon]

Sorry to bother you. But can we get a story of Norman helping Sammy from the inks Control?

Summary: It was only a matter of time before Norman's curiosity got him deader than that one cat... No good deed goes unpunished.

---

"Somethin' ain't right 'bout the studio." Is the one sentence that precedes a series of catastrophic events in Norman Polk's life. A combination of letters that form a very simple and inconsequential phrase that still held a lot of negative connotation. Easy to dismiss, especially over breakfast as he reads the paper with a bored expression on his face.

His wife sits in front of him, buttering their youngest child's toast while the eldest daughter fetches a glass of juice for herself, and her brother, the second oldest child, glances up to peer over and then around the paper.

"What do ya mean pa?" Aaron's inquisitive eyes catch his one good eye, and Norman finds himself setting the paper aside and picking up his mug. Out of his five children, Aaron is the one to inherit his father's curiosity.

"Just a thought." He takes a sip of his coffee and shrugs "Things been a little weird as of late."

"How do you mean?"

"Aaron don't go listenin' to your pa's nonsense or ya gonna get stuck with his ramblings. You gotta get ready for school, so eat breakfast and get going." Margarite rebuts, before glancing at their two daughters. "That goes for you both as well, you especially Louise, your teacher's been hasslin' me bout you doin' no work."

"Mrs. Wilson is nuts. She picks on me for no reason, the crusty egg!"

"Louise!"

Aaron pouted, clearly unsatisfied with the lack of a response, but thought better than to go against his mother's wishes. Wise kid. Norman was proud he was growing up smart.

He didn't bring it up again until the kids were sorted and off to classes. His wife gives him a long-suffering sigh before crossing her arms and looking at him in the eye.

"Don't go lookin' for trouble Norman. I know ya got the guts to go findin' nothin' good." She pleads with him.

"I don't go lookin' for no trouble Maggie, just curious is all... And things have been weird. It's gettin' to the others..."

"Norman, you do know what them people say 'bout your sorta curiosity don't ya?"

"And what would that be?"

"Curiosity killed the cat. And ya sure are lookin' real cat-like to me..."

-

Joey Drew had plans, that much Norman knew. It all had to do with that weird machine of his, as well as all those brittle pipes that kept bursting and flooding areas with thick glossy and acrid smelling ink.

What plans, Norman couldn't tell (yet), but the consequences were visible. Structural integrity in the studio was a mess, something Thomas Connor often dreaded about due to his impeccable work ethics.

Things were constantly soiled with ink, and cleaning supply expenses had risen to the point Wally was having to lug in bleach and detergents from home to get stuff cleaned up. Everyone's dry-cleaning bills had likely also suffered with this.

Speaking of, everyone was going crazy.

"I tell ya, meltdown of the century." Wally winced on the rare occasion Norman took the time to sit with others to eat lunch. That day he was sitting with Wally, Buddy and Dot. "Thought Miss Campbell was gonna throttle the poor broad!"

"She has been acting very hostile." Dot winced in sympathy. "Miss Pendle has the patience of a saint if she can bare all that, but she's not the only person Susie has blown up on recently."

"Uh?" Buddy looked over at his friend in surprise. Norman too looked curious. Wally snapped his fingers as he realized what she was on about.

"Oh yeah! The other night right? She went and barged into Sammy's office and things got heated, and not in the good way if ya know what I mean."

"Wait really? Miss Campbell yelled him?" Buddy looked to be in disbelief. He couldn't imagine a petit little lady like Susie yelling at that overgrown peacock of a man. Not when Sammy tended to yell back at people with twice the amount of ferocity.

"Didn't just yell. She tore him a new one! Was so bad I got outta there as fast as I could. Didn't wanna witness no crime a' passion and all that." Wally glanced around, hoping neither Susie nor Sammy were around to hear. "Saw him come outta the office much later when I was about ta lock up for the night. He looked... Rough."

"He always looks rough." Buddy commented.

Norman found himself frowning at that.

Now that he mentioned it, Sammy had been looking a little green around the gills. Like he was sick, or at the very least extremely sleep deprived. With Drew's policy of time being money, and illnesses having to be serious for sick leave, it didn't surprise him that Sammy might have caught a bug and been unable to sleep it off at home.

"Speak a' the devil..." Wally ducked his head and quickly scarfed up the remains of his meal before getting back up and moving off. "Here he comes now."

Buddy and Dot followed his example, not feeling particularly keen on getting yelled at by Sammy. Norman let them go, eating his meal at a leisurely pace as he observed Sammy more carefully.

He didn't just look rough. He looked off.

How exactly, Norman couldn't explain, but it certainly must be something if the hairs on the back of his neck were so fast to raise.

He needed to look into it.

-

It's a particularly bad encounter in one of the men's bathrooms that tips Norman off to what might be wrong.

After that particularly bad scene involving Drew, Norman had been more cautious with his wandering and observing. His boss's behaviour raised questions, and his threats were definitely ringing alarm bells in his head. How it all involved that wretched machine Norman couldn't figure out.

Until, while putting his burnt hand under cold water (another projector went and caught fire because ink had gotten in it somehow), Sammy Lawrence suddenly barged in and practically kicked in a stall door to then double over a toilet bowl and violently vomit the contents of his stomach.

All this happened in very few seconds and Norman found himself with his unburnt hand clutching at his chest in fright.

"Jesus Christ, ya nearly went and scared the soul out of my body!" He closed the tap and pulled the first aid kit closer, setting to work on bandaging his injured hand. Bless the doc for giving him a kit in the first place, after so many incidents with projectors.

He waited for Sammy to bark out some sarcastic retort, but instead was met with more retching and coughs. Norman became concerned when it didn't stop.

"Sammy?"

He peered into the open stall and was met with a smell that shouldn't be coming from someone's insides. An acrid chemical smell that permeated the studio, due to its origin being pumped through pipes like blood in one's veins. The music director was puking ink.

"Sweet mercy..." That wasn't good. The boy needed that stuff out, which he was managing on his own from how much he was getting sick. The issue was, how much of the crap had he swallowed if it kept coming up? "Sammy what the fuck?!"

"G'way y'fu'kin' ..." He cut off as another wave came up to meet the rest, his nose dribbling with the black sheen of ink, and big fat tears barely clearing the gunk already covering his pale skin "H'hurts..."

The pathetic whimper was enough to break his heart. Sammy sounded scared for once, rather than angry, sarcastic or apathetic.

"How much did ya even get in ya? Did the music department go under again?" Once the music director didn't look like he was going to throw up again, the projectionist scooped him off the floor and noted with horror how unusually light and pointy the blond felt in his arms.

It was like holding a sack of bones... What in the blazes? Just a few days ago he looked healthy enough...

"M'gettin' ya to the infermary. The doc might have somethin' for intoxication... If not then Drew can't just keep ya here, this is a hospital thing."

"N-no... No doctors..." Sammy struggled weakly but gave up once he realized he couldn't squirm out of Norman's grasp. "M'fine..."

"Boy, I have half a mind ta call the doctor myself if ya go sayin' stupid shit like that. You ain't fine."

"J-just stomach ache... It'll go away..."

"Samuel Lawrence you are a dumbass."

How daft did the kid need to be to not see the issue here? Hopefully the resident doctor could convince Drew to let Sammy go to a hospital. Hard to fake getting a toxic liquid in your system after all...

-

After the encounter in the bathroom it's not long before Sammy goes missing. People start speculating about it, and some are rather mean-spirited about it.

Sure Sammy wasn't the kindest person, but going about saying he ran off with his tail between his legs because Susie dumped him was just plain disrespectful (especially considering he hadn't seen Susie around as of late either).

The stories about him drinking ink tho... Those peak his interest. They are also easy to confirm, as Norman looks in horror at the contents of the drawers in Sammy's office. Empty ink wells. Several of them. Some definitely licked clean.

It explains things Norman wished he hadn't overlooked. The machine, the pipes, the slow descent... The ink was what was wrong with the studio.

Norman realized then and there that he needed to warn the others to get out. Whomever would hear him at least.

Starting with Buddy and Dot. Those kids needed out.

Whatever Drew was planning with that hellish stuff, it couldn't be good for them.

-

Once the authorities' investigations are closed up and the studio opened back up again, Norman decides it's time to finally grab his light and go down and see what the groaning was. He eats breakfast with his family as quiet as a mouse, lost in thoughts, then goes to work after kissing his wife goodbye.

Once he reaches the door, he finds a card and keys on the entrance mat.

Wally had quit. Good, at least the kid had enough sense to bolt when told to.

Norman is the very first person the set foot back inside the studio.

As such, he's the very first target for one of two creatures still able to access the floors above.

His light catches onto an inky black figure in overalls and a grinning dancing devil mask, then catches the gleam of a blade.

Norman doesn't get the chance to scream as the axe buried itself in his chest, right through his heart. He wheezes out what little air remains in his lungs and it doesn't take long for him to slip away.

What makes it worse is how the figure cradles him gently and murmurs nonsense he can't understand. That voice... Why did it sound so familiar?

It all goes dark. It's too quiet.

-

The Projectionist screeches as it runs after the figure in overalls and grinning mask. It chases after the thief mercilessly, putting it's hands through the holes it crawls through in an attempt to flee from its burning gaze.

It gets cocky and ends up getting grabbed by the leg and pulled back with force.

The Projectionist may not be able to hear its screams, but it can feel the vibrations. It's terrified.

Good.

It roars in triumph as it plunges it's hand through the figure's chest, bursting it into a puddle and discarded clothing.

Never shall it try to steal it's hearts away, ever again.

The Projectionist carried on, unaware of the poetic justice behind its own actions.

An eye for an eye was just as popular a saying as curiosity killed the cat, after all.

[threeletterslife]

CHjakldfjskANA I am lowkey embarrassed to say that I am confused by pt 2 of Ignis Fatuus ;-; I get what happens literally, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on all of the more underlying messages and what the ending is supposed to represent and what you were intending to convey ;-; I guess I'll just talk about parts that I thiNk I understood and hopefully won't make me sound like an idiot :D I really liked how the endings to both the dream and reality were paralleled,

but houf I was kind of exasperated in the beginning when everyone was dying on the hypothetical trip to the hospital. I always kind of felt like they would just let Y/N die, because logically speaking, even if they ended up at the hospital, none of them are really qualified to treat TSS so they would just be going on a suicide mission because as shown, zombies are e v e r y wh e r e :D So when it was revealed that was only a dream, I was like yAY thank goodness :,,) The part at the end before

Y/N dies when Jungkook corrects her saying “it’s did well and not did good” was a reaLLY nice way to end things though :,) jklsfjkls I don’t know, Chana pls send help+explanations because I’m definitely only understanding the very surface level ideas of Ignis Fatuus D: I think the very vEry ending though is a big part of the whole Ignis Fatuus thing though because back in pt 1 in Target Jungkook was like omg yes don’t worry Y/N things will be over and we’ll definitely be able to play baseball

again without any zombies around, but aaa Chana why are there thRee “endings”,, that’s making me think there’s something very elaborate about how all of the endings could be tied together/are related :,D 🌻 anyways I think? the first part to my ask might've not gone through because it didn't have the "thank you, your ask has been received" message when I clicked ask but o well :,) it was just me lowkey embarrassing myself because I am confused on the ending of Ignis Fatuus :,)

[SPOILER WARNING!]

GOOD NEWS! the first part of your ask WAS received!! and omg yes i totally understand ignis fatuus pt 2 was kinda hectic so lemme just clear up the confusion ✨

i think the whole ignis fatuus stORY is a bit hard to digest. the only ‘realistic’ element in the story is really that the members self-quarantined LOL. other than that, i really took inspiration from the office (though it may not seem like that). jungkook and yn are the only “normal” ones in the group of eight just like jim and pam were the only normal ones in an office full of crackheads LMAO. i just thought it would be cool to tell the story of two normal pple stuck with six other crazies (all equally obsessed with something different. i mean namjoon studying DURING the apocalypse?? seokjin obsessed with the kitchen? hoseok obsessed with his secretary??) and i chose to go for a very subtle romance so it wouldn’t overshadow the other dynamic characters

to elaborate on the endings!

the first one (the one that yn dreams): only in her wildest dreams would the seven men yn’s learned to love and live with DIE to save her. i mean, in a sick, twisted way, isn’t that what so many romance movies depict? the knight sacrifices his life to save his princess. it’s shit that only happens in your head. it’s tragic and stupid, yes, but also honorable in it’s own way. maybe yn subconsciously wanted all seven men to help save her life (even though it wouldn’t logically make sense). but maybe she wanted a knight in shining armor. i mean, isn’t that what media brainwashes women to think? yn’s dream is her subconscious acting up. she’s a helpless woman (sick from a mf bacterial infection that women mostly get) and she must depend on men to save her. but the end of her dream concludes that it’s not a matter of who saves who. some people just can’t be saved. yn doesn’t have a knight in shining armor. even before she got sick, she is a strong, independent woman. jungkook offers her emotional support, but he never outwardly saves her from any disasters. in fact, in part 1, yn is the on who saves jk. maybe, in yn’s subconscious, she wants to be saved. who doesn’t? it’s not a female v. male thing. being saved just means doing less work (and who doesn’t want that?). the savior, on the other hand, must go through the trauma and carry the responsibility of another’s life. maybe that’s why yn had her dream! another, more obvious reason yn’s dream turned out that way may be because that’s her worst fear—watching everyone she cared about die in front of her eyes (but also being too helpless to be able to stop it). she’s also afraid of dying alone, which she did in her dream. you’re absolutely right though! the second part of ignis fatuus is supposed to make you feel exasperated—frustrated and pissed, even. it’s just supposed to be nonsense, honestly. just stupid shit happening in rapid succession. it’s literally a fever dream. and also a dream carefully crafted by yn’s subconscious

a lot of the ‘deeper’ meaning is very subjective, though! and even as the writer, my analysis is still subjective. you can honestly analyze ignis fatuus in so many other ways. no analysis is wrong. and it’s also perfectly fine to have no analysis at all! 

the second ending (with yn actually dying) is easier to explain. it’s a direct contrast from yn’s dream where everyone was trying to be the hero. reality is different. even at the end of part 1, joon and jk knew that they wouldn’t be able to take yn to the hospital. yoongi even knew yn would die. they wouldn’t even think of such an outrageous idea to go to the hospital at all. they may have hinted taking yn to the hospital only to make her feel better, to make her feel safe. but they would’ve never actually done it. the plan was always to let her die in the house (as sad as it sounds). but there was really nothing left to do! as you said, none of them (even joon and tae) is qualified to treat tss (nor do they have the medical equipment to do so). the second ending is more of the closure that the first ending didn’t provide. yn wished to die in jk’s arms in the first ending and she got what she wanted in the second ending. but i still didn’t exactly think ending the story with yn’s death (tWICE) would be the best. something didn’t feel right. so i felt like i had to add the third ending for better closure

and you’re totally right! i connected the third ending to what jk and yn had talked about in target. this is essentially a glimpse of their dreams come true. something that didn’t necessarily happen, but something that the readers can imagine and feel at peace with. i thought it was good to wrap up such a traumatic part 2 with something lighter, something sillier and something happier. ignis fatuus is a mf roller coaster. and the title itself ‘ignis fatuus’ literally means something deceptive/deluding. i think part 2 encompassed that well

as for the purpose of this story? to answer the question you may be having, “if yn died after this whole ass journey,,, what was the mf POINT?” maybe there isn’t a point. maybe there is no rhyme or reason. maybe i just told a story as it is. kind of like a reference to waiting for godot but on the less indifferent side. BUT! i would honestly argue that there IS a point! i think the relationship yn made with the seven very distinct men is special. the seven of them are depictions of very stereotypical men. a nerdy med school student, a grumpy bus driver, an impatient businessman, a spoiled daddy’s money lawyer, a scaredy-cat cop, an obsessive chef and a too-perfect-to-be-true baseball player. i think part 1 is interesting to see how the eight of them have created this synergy together. it’s also interesting to see in part 2 how yn twists the men’s stereotypes to fit in the fever dream narrative

ignis fatuus is one of my more depressing stories. i had the idea since january of 2019 so i spent quite a bit of time thinking about it before i decided to write it. i didn’t think i’d end on a lighter note, but i’m happy it turned out that way. 

aNYWAYS sorry this turned out so long 😭😭😭i guess i rambled too much again oOPS. but i swear you’ll get a break from all this depressing writing LOL. i’m not posting another official story until january 15th! (and GOOD NEWS that story is going to be FLUFF!) 

as usual thank you sm for such a kind message 🥺🥺

[you-are-worth-the-wait]

This is going to be super crazy long I think. I tried to address all the things you talked about. This is prolly as serious as it gets. You don’t really have to respond to it or anything. It was just an explanation to hopefully clear things up and any questions asked are prolly rhetorical. I don’t need you to explain or justify anything. I was just hoping to clear things up in my own rambling muddled way.

You never did tell me what happened or what happened during your weekend/days off. I don’t know if you purposely avoided that or what not. I only ask because I know you do come to me when things got difficult or you need someone to talk to. I know you also have your therapist as an outlet for your feelings/emotions. It’s not that I want to take his place or am a therapist. I’m still someone that cares for you and wants you to still feel safe that you can confide in me not only as someone who loves you but genuinely cares for you. I know it’s difficult because of who I am and what I may represent in this situation but I still do love, respect, and care for you even though we may not be together and I’ll always want to make sure you are okay.

Ehhh...who knows if sushi was our thing. But truth is, I think “we” are our own thing. I think we’ve experienced so much and connected on a different level that it’s possible to say that our entire relationship and everything that we’ve experienced could be “our thing”. From something as complicated as planned trips, road trips, seeing musicals, spending nights/mornings together to the simple things such as driving to work together, holding each other’s hands, talking on the phone to and from work, watching terrace house, messaging each other. From the physical aspect of raw and uninhibited sex, to exploring and sharing our kinks, to intimacy of passionately kissing and just randomly fooling around and being able to laugh during the most intimate of moments and still find a way into each other’s heart. Even to something as weird as doing a taco taste off to making fun of the way I cook. It’s almost as if pretty much every moment/memory/experience that I’ve had in my life that was enhanced and/or made more memorable in one way or another because I was able to share it with you could/would be labeled as “our thing”.

I do feel sad for him too but at the same time it’s difficult for me to rationalize my empathy to others because of what he has and what I don’t have. I’m not a bad person and it’s not like I’m oblivious to the hurt he feels. It’s just hard to say to him that I’m sorry. To say I’m sorry that he feels that way and that I see him hurting the way he does. But who would ever believe me when deep down I do care and love you. Like, I can see myself saying those words and meaning it but at the same time I could have you standing right next to me, lean over and kiss you on the check, and be just as genuine in saying that I love you. How I could look him in the eyes and honestly say that I never meant to hurt him but in the same breath tell him that were the one who opened up the possibility to/for love and when I accepted it I knew that I would do anything I could to make you happy because I loved/love you too.

You also know I think about you daily. Simple things like whenever I flip through Netflix and see terrace house. Or Disney+ and I see Hamilton or the greatest showman. Hearing a Mraz song. Hearing a girl with a “unique” voice. Randomly doing clumsy things and wondering if that’s ever happened to you. Dropping food, spilling something, needing a napkin because I’ve made a mess. Seeing couples doing random, fun things. The way I use a knife to cut things. Putting my scrubs on inside out. Seeing your name on a chart or birth month and day. When I see “emergency contact” and I think of how we used each other. When someone asks if I’m attracted to or like someone. How I do see your name at random shops/stores. When I gravitate towards chopsticks instead of forks. And like I said, when I want to share an experience with someone and give them my take on it but it involved you and I’m so set on saying, “my girl and I...my friend and I...”Lily” and I...” and I have to cut myself short because I don’t necessarily want people to follow up my statement with “who is “Lily”...how is “Lily” and what not.

Not to say that we treated him or what we had as a “big game” but we both knew the risks with what we were doing. We both have each other outs and we discussed it at times. But each time we came to the same conclusion that the other person was worth the risk to have them in our lives. I don’t know if it’s fair to associate how we did things and compare it to how good you may be when it comes to playing games with strategy but there prolly is some element of truth to it. But I think the only reason why we could have been perceived as “good” as what we did was because I think we both wanted it/each other bad enough to make “us” work somehow, one way or another. Yes, when I admitted the snout of things we did, the places/trips we went to/on in state and abroad, the amount of hikes, over night vacays, and for however long/short amount of time, and to have done all that...you and I did a lot of sacrificing and compromising in able to do what we did. But we did it because the other person was worth it. Every time you ran late to something or chose to hang out wotn me instead of him/family. Coming over early and staying out later to be with me. Picking you up and dropping you off at work when I didn’t have work. Coming to get you from work when you weren’t well enough to drive home. Choosing to be with you instead of going to the gym or hanging out with my family because I wanted to spend that extra 5-10 minutes, 1-4 hours with you, because be it 5 minutes or 5 hours, it never seemed like it was enough time. I think we both figured out a way sacrifice things in/during our lives but it was for each other, and we did it in a heartbeat with no regrets in the moment because the other person was worth it. So I’m not saying that you/we both know how to play games. I’m saying that with the proper motivation of it being you and me, we did need to figure out how to “play” and sacrifice certain things but we both knew who/why/what we were doing it for and for you/that, I wouldn’t apologize or let someone hold it against me because if I had the chance, I wouldn’t change a single decision I made when it came to you and me. That’s just me and my honest opinion.

I guess it’s the way I word things or the timing of it all. I am genuinely concerned about you and I do want to know what is on your mind and what you are thinking. You and this entire situation is so hard to “read” though when all I’ve got to go through are “words on a screen” and unknown lengths of time/pauses in between, be it minutes, hours, or days. I learned and picked up a lot of what I could figure and learn to understand from your nonverbal cues, the inflection/tones of your voice, your eyes, your genuine and fake smiles, your silence, your kisses, the way you hug/hold/cling to me. It’s difficult for me to go from all of that and feeling that I was learning/getting to know you, and now I’m relegated to just words on a screen. So yeah, maybe I might jump the gun on asking certain things before you are ready or the way I type something out on here doesn’t necessarily reflect what I meant to say. It’s hard to go from you wondering at times how I could tell something is on your mind and figuring out how you felt based on a look or the energy you gave off to seeing us “fight/argue” more on here than we have face to face. To know that I’ve hurt you, angered you, made you question me, more on here than when we were together. How helpless I feel when you start to get get angry, sad, or feel you’ve said something wrong and pile on to your insecurities when I’ve never told you that you are ever a bother, that you are too much, that I can’t handle you, that you aren’t worth it, that you may not be good enough for me. I’ve never said or believed that about you. So yeah, it is difficult for me to gauge if what I’m asking is jumping the gun of what you are feeling or processing. From my side, all I know is I’m asking how you are feeling and trying to get a better understanding of where you are and what you may be thinking. Like you said, there are times when I ask/say things that maybe I’m lucky enough that you are in the moment of when those questions are asked at the moment you are receptive to it and are ready to think about it from that aspect. And then there are times where I ask the same questions for the same reason but you may be in that moment when you are figuring things out and my questions come across as being nosy, pushy, or as if I’m forcing you to think one way or another. I honestly don’t think I’ve asked how you’ve been and what you could be thinking about and inquiring further about things any more than I usually do. I guess it’s really hit or miss as the timing of when I ask them depending on what state and how receptive you are. I mean, there have been some times where you’ve kind of laughed off how ridiculous your situation is because of how absurd or nonsensical it was from your point of view.

But truth...yes. Sometimes I feel if I don’t ask, you may take it as me not caring or having moved on in some way. Like, if we talked for 6 months straight but not once do I ask how you are truly feeling, what’s on your mind, if I don’t say that I’m here for you, that you can talk to me if you need to. If all our conversations were just about random nothingness and never about what’s really on our minds or how we feel or if during a span of 6 months I never say that I miss you, not even once. Then yeah, I’m afraid that I may give you the impression that I don’t think about you, care about you, don’t miss you, or have moved on. It’s a subject matter that would be easier to confront and there are a lot of things that makes more sense to speak to each other face to face or even on the phone. But this is what we have at the moment. Although it’s helped us to stay in touch, given us a sense of comfort and hope, it has on more occasions than I’d like to count caused us grief, heartaches, and misunderstandings that could have totally been avoided.

Also, along your journey of whatever it is you are trying to discover about yourself, I feel that if we were together, you wouldn’t necessarily be doing it on your own the way you are trying to. If we were together, the journey you are taking, I feel, is something that you’d be talking to me about, bouncing off your thoughts and ideas, letting me know of your hopes and fears, what your reservations may be yet what you ultimately want for yourself. And the thing is that even though it’s a self discovery of who you are and what you want for yourself, if we were together, it’s a journey that you’d be talking and confiding in me about. At least that’s what I think it would be. Like, I have dreams for myself just as much as I have dreams for the both of us but just because it’s my own dreams, goals, and aspirations, it’s not like I’d hide it from you or not ask your opinion of it. Because yeah, ultimately it’s going to be me who figures and chooses the path I attempt to take in order to reach or discover things, but if we were together, I’d still ask you about your thoughts and opinions. It is a journey of self discovery but you play just as big a part of who I am so of course I’m going to want to include you and get your thoughts and opinions. I think maybe that’s what I’m trying to be for you or help you understand where I am coming from when I sometimes ask you things or may come across as intrusive or maybe I’m making you figure things out before you can figure it out yourself. And yes, I can see that you are still struggling to figure things out so I randomly say things here and there not so much to influence you or make you justify your thoughts or actions. It’s more so to help in any way I can or to maybe see things from a different perspective that you may not have seen or considered before. Like I said, I don’t know exactly what you are thinking or feeling but I sometimes do get the sense that it could be along the same lines of what I’m thinking when I mirror my thoughts and feelings but from your perspective. And again, only because I feel I’ve gotten to know you based on how we’ve connected. I’ve never said “this is how you feel...I’ll tell you what you are feeling/supposed to feel...this is what you should think...these are your thoughts”. The only time I venture into that realm is when you confirm what I thought of in the past or you admit/open up to me about certain things. Then do I say, “I thought you felt this way but now I know. I wondered what the reason was but now I understand.” And then I will go off on some random tangent as to why I thought those things in the first place. I don’t know if I had the reasons correct but you confirmed action/feeling.

I think I explained the reason why I thought about the ultimatum the way I did/do. Yes, the black and white of the ultimatum at the time ws difference of you being with me or him. Did I ever want to give you one, no. After he did it and that was the reason why you chose/had to be with him did I wish I had given you one, yes and no. The plain black and white explanation of that moment in retrospect was if I had given you the ultimatum, you prolly would have been with me. But the truth and grey of it all was/is that I knew back then and wat before then that I didn’t want you that way. It’s why I didn’t give you one, it’s why he gave you one before me, it’s why even when you were at a low point and wondered if maybe you needed an ultimatum to save you from yourself, I still asked and said the only way I’d do that is if you yourself gave me the okau to do so because at least then, it would have still been a mutual understanding and you were giving me permission to ask you to be with me and I would have done so because you couldn’t trust yourself anymore and you were willing to put your trust in me that I’d take care of you. Oddly enough, when he did give you the ultimatum, even though I didn’t realize you would have “obeyed/abided (I don’t know the proper term to use here)” by it, a part of me thought that that was the biggest mistake he could have ever made. Pretty much for all the same reasons he’s realizing now, I kinda knew back then which is why I didn’t give you one. The thing is, even though I didn’t give you and ultimatum, the fact of the matter was, just like you said, you’d be physically there. Here’s the difference in the grey vs the black and white of the ultimatum. His ultimatum is playing out the way it is now. After almost a year of “physically” being there, at this moment, this is what has happened since and what you have to show for “physically” being there. If it had been me who had done that, I would have possibly had the black and white of you being “physically there” with me. The grey of it all is the difference. In that same amount of time, at what point would you and I be in the relationship. Would we be better/worse. That’s the thing I can’t tell and that’s the grey of it all. And that’s the only reason why I mentioned the thought of me giving you an ultimatum. Not that I would have given you one. But if I did, maybe you would be with me now, which leads to wonder what I/we would have done/figured out in that time. Of course I’d be hopeful in thinking that yes, you still would have corn through a tough time and there would have been those moments of depression. But a part of me feels that together, maybe, you would have come out of it for the better in the long run. But again, that’s me and hopeful thinking. But that’s based on what I know about you and me and how we are when we are together. Alone, we are okay and prolly better than okay. Together, we are amazing. And if you were in the position you are now, trying to figure out/understand your life, you, how to process things. In the alternate universe where I gave the ultimatum and you were with me, you’d be asking my opinion when it comes to trying to figure out/understand yourself. That’s alternate universe with so many “ifs”. But to present reality, you are still trying to figure out/understand yourself and big picture. And I’m still here still trying to help you but not being physically with you. Gawd...does any of this make sense? You are gonna have to have another 4 day weekend to figure this all out.

Sooo...yeah...sorry. Crazy long. My bad. And same...you mean something to me as well. Even if I don’t say those words or as often as I could/should. I just wanted you to know that.

[elowyn-ffxiv]

the hunter.

I had been more enamored with the young hunter than I’d have cared to admit. 

Or, at least, that’s what I thought. Novels of grand romances wormed their way into my head, and so when the Hyur man cast me a smile across the pond as he wiped sweat from his brow, leaning against his bow, I had thought my heart would drum right from my chest. 

“They told me to be careful of bewitching spirits in the forest,” he’d called, his smile broadening into a grin. “But I think I rather prefer to not proceed with caution if the spirits are half so lovely as you.”

My world slowed as I straightened up, my fingers paused in my hair. What he didn’t know is that, just moments ago, I’d tumbled in the mud in pursuit of a particularly rare type of butterfly. Maybe I seemed an enchanting water spirit, standing in the middle of the pond, but in reality, it was only so I could get the muck off of my dress and out of my hair. 

“I am no spirit, sir,” I had called back, hoping that my own smile was half as coy as the ones flirtatious maidens in my novels always cast towards potential suitors. “Merely a girl with poor footing when it comes to slopes covered in wet earth, is all.” 

The young man chuckled at that, slow approaching the water’s edge and crouching beside it. After removing his leather gloves with his teeth, he cupped some water in his hands and splashed his face, and I watched as the droplets caught in his stubble. His eyes were dark as chocolate with long lashes to frame them, ruddy cheeked and broad shouldered. A quiver full of arrows hung on his back with a simple longbow as his weapon of choice. 

“Well, young lady with poor footing-- I daresay that’s rather a mouthful. Tell me, what is your name?”

“Elowyn, sir,” I replied, dipping into a curtsey despite being waist-high in the water. “And you...?” 

“Alec.” A sunny smile followed his introduction as he rose up to his full height again -- a good six fulms, if not more -- and placed his hands on his hips, sizing me up from his spot on the grass. “It’s good to meet you, fair maiden Elowyn.”

I dipped my head and smiled to myself, cheeks warm with the way his gaze never seemed to waver from me... at first. His head turned, and I tilted my head, hearing the sound of his name being called deeper into the forest. Alec glanced back at me, his smile turning sheepish. 

“I’d like nothing more than to stay and get more acquainted with you, miss,” he said as he slowly, reluctantly, gathered up his longbow. “But I believe my hunting party is searching for me. Ah-- but... do you often come to this spot?”

“Every day,” I said, too quickly, and I knew it, judging by the way he chuckled again. Still, he kept his gaze focused on my face. “But... But usually in the evenings. The canopy of leaves is nice, but I prefer, ah... night.” 

“Usually in the evenings,” he echoed.

“When the moon is high in the sky, sir.”

“Noted. Then I’ll look forward to seeing you again, Miss Elowyn,” Alec said. “And hopefully when I’m a bit less covered in sweat and you’ve not taken a tumble. Your ankle... You didn’t hurt yourself at all, did you?” he added, his gaze softening, and I blinked as the heat rose in my cheeks again.

“Wh-- Oh! No, no! I’m perfectly fine!” My voice squeaked, and I closed my eyes for a moment. “B-But thank you. For asking. Yes. Hah...”

His party called his name again, and with a last lingering look and a wave, Alec took off into the trees behind him. I watched until he was out of sight, and then exhaled a breath I didn’t know that I’d been holding. Lifting my hands, I pressed the backs of them to my cheeks.

Alec. 

------------

From there, Alec and I met four times at the pond. At first, it was... lovely. I had someone to speak to that was not a woodland creature or a journal, and at first, he seemed to enjoy it. He told me that he was from the Brume in Ishgard - or, at least, that he’d grown up there before moving to Dravania. An only child and an orphan, at that, he’d found companionship in fellow hunters. He taught me phrases in old Ishgardian, and he smiled when I would stumble over the foreign sounds until I got it right. 

Things started to change, though.

Maybe I spoke too much. I liked to talk about the sky, the moon and the stars, and I liked to talk about whatever popped into my mind. I told him of my parents and my uncle, of all the different types of plants in the area, of the animals I’d befriended, showed him sketches of my moon garden and rambled endlessly about my favorite books. 

“You certainly never run out of things to say,” he’d said to me one day, and I didn’t notice how tight his smile was until I thought of it in hindsight. 

“I... Well, no, I suppose not. It’s nice to have a listening ear,” I’d said brightly. He looked at my face and then inched closer, one of his hands grasping mine.

“What would you say to less talk?” Alec murmured as he leaned in close to my face, following it even as I leaned back so far that we were laying on the grass. I blinked up at him as he hovered over me.

“I-I’m sorry?” 

Dark eyes focused on my face, and then, quite suddenly, his lips were upon mine. I froze for half a second before gasping and shoving him away, quickly scrambling to my feet. He stared as my cheeks flushed red and I straightened out my dress, suddenly regretting wearing a corset. I could barely breathe.

“Are you out of your mind?” I whispered in a panic.

“Are you truly so sheltered?” Alec asked tiredly, irritated. “Do you think I come here to listen to you ramble? Honestly...” 

It was like a slap to the face. I even reached up to touch my face to ensure that the sting was not upon my skin. The words felt familiar, and I grimaced, acutely aware of how my ears turned to the side. Reaching up, I pressed my hands against them, forcibly making them face forward again. 

It had been a similar sentiment shared by past playmates-- or, at least, playmates that my parents had tried to find me. I talked too much, or was too odd, too sheltered, with a mind that had thoughts that were too strange or disconnected. Again... Again, and again. 

I was too much. Or, maybe, not enough.

“Then why...?” I started weakly, looking down at him.

“I thought you might live up to your looks,” he snapped, standing to his feet and brushing dirt off his pants before rubbing at his chest where I’d shoved him... maybe with a bit more force than I’d intended. “But your endless chattering about every bit of nonsense that comes into your head takes over. No one likes a woman with a big mouth, Elowyn.” 

My lips parted in shock. I didn’t... know what to say. Suddenly, I felt very, very small. Heroines in the books I read would have dressed him down, repaid insult for insult. I could not. I stood there, feeling the moonlight through the trees seeping into my skin like it was trying to embrace me. It was difficult for me to understand what he meant. Pretty girls didn’t have thoughts? That didn’t make sense at all. I tried to speak, and he scoffed, slinging his quiver back onto his back with a shake of his head.

“The only thing that silences you is that, huh?” Alec grumbled. “I should have tried that earlier. Maybe then I could have got what I wanted out of this.” 

I didn’t know what he meant. Not until later.

Without another word, he stormed off, leaving me frozen in place. I was stirred only be a small squirrel emerging from a tree, chittering angrily after the man before hopping up onto my shoulder. Birds sat overhead, singing softly as the squirrel nuzzled into my cheek. A doe emerged, a rabbit-- all of them familiar to me. Slowly, I sunk to the ground as these little friends surrounded me.

At least I had them.

[unimpressedperson]

Once in a lifetime, changes were not doubts | m.yg |

(Found this lovely, cutie utie pic on @mnygni‘s account)

Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst

Warnings: Existential crisis

Pairing: @cypher-yngi x Min Yoongi, reader x Min Yoongi

Word Counting: 1.5k

Synopsis: Once Emerson met with her old high school colleagues, she began questioning her own life choices.

A/N: Heeeeeey EM!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I PURPLE YOU GIRL! IT’S PART OF YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT! It’s a short one shot, sorry for the small lenght. This piece of writing was inspired by the song ‘Triste, Louca ou Má’ from a brazilian/mexican band called Francisco El Hombre. It’s such an empowering hymn. Hopefully you’ll like it ♥ Forgive any grammatical mistakes. Good reading  xX

It’s highly unedited

The link for the playlist attached to the oneshot and your second birthday gift ♥: Emerson’s Greatest Hits

- x - x - x - x -

Emerson felt like Schopenhauer, facing existentialism and digging in her own thoughts, craving realization or new ideas. Although, her brain worked in a fast pace even during the ungodly hours of the morning. After so many sleepless nights, there were no clues on what's a proper slumber under blankets and anchored by pillows, only flying and allowing her body to float around through dreams.

Tired of stiring between the sheets, she took a deep breathe, opening her blueish-greenish eyes, staring at the darkness consuming wholly the bedroom. When you cannot rest peacefully, nights and days seem to last long, long dusks and long dawns. The yellow mornings and purple evenings all feel the same, no longer being capable to differ them.

She couldn't pierce her eyes closed anyway.

Still feeling the queer comfort of being left sitting in the dark, Emerson got on her feet, hazy with tiredness, awake with one thousand thoughts cruising, synapses and explosions, lighting the darkness behind her eye globes. Brain producing more energy than the whole neighbourhood.

It's weird to imagine how much electricity a body can produce, but cannot spread. Humans are nothing but a storage of unused energy. We are atomic and Emerson knew it, she swore that if the room was quiet enough, she could feel atoms setting, blood rushing in her eardrums, result of the heart beating, pulsating the red and white globes through veins.

Standing up felt weird, anything a palm in front of her face couldn’t be seem. The darkness is terrifying once you’re no longer hiding yourself from everything outside. Once you feel obligated to navigate along it, reach the light switch and hope it will be there. Not being able to perceive a fly in front of you is scary, and Emerson knew it.

Instead of turning the lights on, Emerson decided to keep walking through darkness, listening to shadows speaking. Telling her secrets only daylight can keep, nighttime is a loud speaker, a tattletale. Corners whispers, but once you drown it all in black, then nothing else contain their incessant talking, babbling nonsense.

Emerson listened to them, not stopping their ranting.

Darkness, sleepless nights, tiresome afternoons, nothing could quite hurt her anymore.

Nothing but loneliness.

Maybe, all the rating could not bother Emerson, their voices fulfilled the silence, not leaving room for loneliness. A loneliness daylight couldn’t occupy, fill to the brim. Shadows are full of sounds, everything seems livid in darkness.

Why turn the lights on, when the gloominess hugged so tightly those who accept it?

However, in that specific night, Emerson felt lonely, even accompanied by her ghosts, loud thoughts and thuds of her feet hitting the cold ground.

Emerson felt numb by sleeplessness, but awake with jolts of thoughts. Finally reaching the kitchen, after an eternity of walking and exploring the darkness, she got to the door and, only then, turning on the lights, hissing with clarity, asking for apologies from the shadows who were abruptly shut down. She could no longer bear listening to them. She was going insane. 

The fridge was opened and Emerson grabbed a box of milk, not worrying about pouring the content in a cup, drinking straight from it. Long sips, nurturing her body and slowly blowing away the fog.

A long day ahead. A long day back.

Sitting on a chair and reaching for her laptop, Emerson began remembering the past day.

A high school reunion. Almost 12 years passed and yet douchebags were douchebags, people still talked shit about each other, but now whilst rambling about their conquerings, children, jobs, travels, fulfilled dreams, and well, Emerson felt like just Emerson.

A gymnasium crowded with people on their 30s, old students, old friends whose destinies run apart. They were now gathering 12 years of news, 12 years of events and occurrences. Dyed hair, wigs and a lot of dieting shakes, adults swimming in debts and bills, yet proudly bragging and showing off their achievements.

Emerson decided to sip on her non-alcoholic fruit punch and observe, questioning all her life choices, mainly the moment where she accidentally accepted hanging out with venomous colleagues. She was sitting on the benches and taking a mental note on never accepting anything without thoroughly reading ever again, specifically if the e-mail has her school emblem and the option to turn down.

Staring at everyone, showing off their kids and apartments, Emerson thought about life.

In ten years she rented her own small place, kept a good long-distance relationship with a korean music producer, a stable job as a psychologist, yet all the bragging made her question: How much did I actually change?

Growing old felt easy, but growing old comfortably always bugged Emerson. Once she left high school, her dream was to evolve, grow out of her shell and be Karen Horney for the teenagers. Unfortunately life ain’t that easy and concluding university costed too much of her sanity, despite all the loneliness and issues, she managed to survive.

Leaving the High School meeting felt reliving. What a waste of precious time, getting around people she hated or barely knew. It drained all the energy from her body and once she arrived at home, let her flesh and bones carve their shape on her bed, hopeful and wishing for some rest. But her brain couldn’t shut off and get in R.E.M sleep, going through everything that happened during all those 12 years.

In a well filled with loneliness and gloominess, Emerson met Min Yoongi through internet.

After finishing high school and entering university, Emerson discovered a profound love for acoustic rap. Her roommate showed a song from Rap Monster and his lyrics about anxiety and fear of failure, some of them masterpieces and within weeks, the girl was dipping down on a spiral of acoustic songs, charged with unhuman levels of sentimentalism and words. Among the talented rappers, a certain small yet rageful guy named Min Yoongi, or Agust D, started playing on Youtube.

Agust D, stage name from a korean rapper who moved to United Kingdom when he was 14, wrote about depression crudely, getting rid of metaphors whenever the subject was himself, but showing off his writing skills and capacity of creating parallels between rap and philosophy. Emerson fell head over heels for him and commented on one of his videos with such passion, expressing how grateful she felt for finding out about his work.

What actually surprised her was his answer: his personal e-mail address, an emoticon winking and other of a phone. He asked for her phone number in a subtle way. Smooth.

Their bonding was instantaneous.

Although he lived in Northern Ireland, too far from Emerson, yet they worked their arses off in order to meet monthly.

Her dating aspect of life was amazing, a long-term relationship with someone compatible and comprehensible.

Why did she feel so incomplete and lonely after all?

Staring blankly at her laptop screen, suddenly her vision got wet and blurry. Tears streaming down her face, ruining the make-up she applied in order to look more mature. Black eye liner? Ruined. Concealer? Stained. Mascara? No longer existing. Everything running down and breaking the coat of foundation.

Emerson wanted to improve herself and wished upon a star everyday. 

She had an amazing life, with a good job and a stable relationship. Yet her brain couldn’t see how amazing she was. No one half as strong and tough could go through hard times on her previous job, all the bullying and mental health struggles without letting the existential pain drop them to their knees.

Her insatisfaction seemed pointless, whenever she thought about rationally, but couldn’t control her brain. Could not hold the negative thoughts down.

Everyone on that goddamn high school reunion seemed to have improved, matured and grow out their childish pants. Changing and living their best life, regardless of bills and difficulties.

Yoongi always bragged about how great his girlfriend was and her co-workers constantly compliment her skills, her empathy.

How could she not understand it? How could she still feel so lonely despite everything surrounding her?

Why couldn’t she feel like evolving and changing?

Out of nowhere, the ghosts decided to pronounce themselves even without shadows to support their voices, asking her why she was crying, who did hurt her and saying the sweetest words, slowly helping and making everything seem to be less lonely.

After crying a river, she cleaned the last remaining tears. The clear, small and, before contaminated by rests of makeup, the black eyeliner corrupting the pureness of each drop, now clean and sheer, the most raw demonstration of innocent sadness.

Indignation.

Rage.

Frustrations.

Among so many changes, ups and downs.

Evolution, it’s not solely a synonym for improvement. Changing, this defines the human evolution. It frustrates. It hurts you. Changing is painful. Emerson felt so much pain whilst watching time flying by.

The teardrops, now transparent, candid like newborn soul, brought to this world within seconds.

In that moment, pure, crude, bare, stripped of luxe, all the past risks and struggles drowning in realization, oh in that moment, Emerson realized her growth. Her changing.

The ghost now had only one voice and the source from every word was placed in front of her: the laptop.

“Hey, love, are feeling better now?” - Yoongi asked through a video call, his gummy smile flashing and making Emerson grin.

She was changing, growing, improving and slowly accepting it.

- x - x - x - x -

Hey babe, did you like it? Here’s the translation for the song I mentioned above:

“Sad, mad or mean

Shall be qualified

Those whom she denies

Follow thus method.

The cultural method

Of husband, of family

Take care, taking care of a routine

Only rejects anyway

Well known method

Those whom are painless

Accepts everything shall change.

That a man doesn’t define you

Your house doesn’t define you

Your flesh doesn’t define you

You’re your own home.

That a man doesn’t define you

Your house doesn’t define you

Your flesh doesn’t define you.

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own.

Cannot perceive myself on that word

Female: hunting target

Settled victim

I’d rather burn the map

Trace the roads all over again

See colours through ashes

And reinvent life.

And the man doesn’t define me

My house doesn’t define me

My flesh doesn’t define me

I’m my own home.

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own.”