#i feel like this extra went back on soooo many developments from the show | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

homestuckexamination · 4 years ago

Text

Canon, Outside Canon, or Non Canon?

That canon anon is saying partly what I was trying to say. And yes, both interpretations can coexist in meta works like HS, but whether that’s your cup of tea or not depends on whether you prefer canon compliance, non canon compliance, or in-between.

asfsaf, honestly I’m so sorry, this seems interesting, and well put, but I am not able to read this atm and I don’t want to hold this essay on my asks until like, tomorrow or Sunday, soooo if any of y’all wanna check it before I do, here:

People who lean more towards canon tend to favor concrete info and develop something already established.

In-between is tricky. It’s a fragile balancing act that if you don’t scale it fairly (however “fair” means to you), a writer may face backlash from either parties. Fanfiction generally are outside canon unless confirmed or firmly denied that it would happen by the authors of the original work themselves.

Others that choose non-canon compliance are very comfortable with/pick creativity and freefall with ideas not stated or implied within canon. AUs usually are in this category unless the concept of alternate universes exist as a concept in the story.

Note: This is a case of “it’s a continuum, not a binary”.

A sort-of comparison can be made to this:

It’s the main reason why people who lean towards canon compliance more are quick to spot inconsistencies. Sudden changes are annoyances- like a timeskip of a character suddenly “acting OOC” because of something that was never thoroughly implied or outright stated previously. Unintended continuity errors are a pet peeve.

“…divergent thinking concentrates on generating a large number of alternative responses including original, unexpected, or unusual ideas. Thus, divergent thinking is associated with creativity. Convergent thinking involves finding only the single correct answer, conventional to a well-defined problem."

Homestuck^2 went on a drive with Divergent Thinking in the front & Non-Canon Compliance in the backseat, downed at least 6 bottles, and went on an excursion to crash a lot of previously established facts and ran with it. While the story serves as an encouragement for fans to make their own Homestuck continuation, it did irk some readers for the reasons above. For readers who prefer to lift off gradually from the canon, it doesn’t matter whether a character is turned into a refreshing symbol for a number of people- it’s usually not what the change represents, it’s the sudden change itself. However, for people who are okay with these have the advantage of enjoying them by being more flexible by a large margin. (Note: I’m using these as examples with objective readers in mind. I neither condone the toxic side of the fandom nor exempt how some of the creators lashed out.)

Some things to think about whether a work is canon, outside canon, or non-canon:

How do you draw the line between character development and OOC?

How would you know it isn’t simply just the character having experienced a vast amount of time for that person to change a core element of who they are or were? Look closer. Maybe you’ll find hints that this character is undergoing something. Do you see any faint connection for the alteration? If not, it may be a case of OOC-ness handled wrong. After that, go back and think ”What makes this character xir own and not somebody else?“. There’s canon Roxy, there are outside canon Roxys. Roxies. Whichever.

A way to avoid the readers splashing in cold water is to make the development happen on-screen. Otherwise, it’ll be like one of those episodes where the MC wakes up to find his loved one suddenly confessing that xe’s not who xe really is. Making a character simply explaining that "people change overtime” feels more like a cop-out when, from a reader’s perspective, is done so swiftly and in-your-face.

Is it ever justified that a character is OOC?

This is a risky question to even answer. It highly depends on the character’s mentality. It’s like seeing someone known for patience to suddenly snap. Or a normally upbeat person to have a single moment of quiet forlorn. Or a pacifist having promised to fight someone. Sometimes, characters experiencing this type of OOC-ness is a writer’s way of saying “hey, this person has extra dimensions & limitations”. OOC Is Serious Business.

Whenever Batman displays emotions, it’s an indicator of who Bruce is inside despite rarely letting them show. How do we justify that outside of said display? Through his actions. We know beforehand that he’s a caring but jaded person, but he still fights for what good is left in the city of rampant crime. And when we do get that in retrospect, that’s when we see that perhaps that character’s never been Out-Of-Character at all. It’s when it serves as a hint AND a callback to a character’s past that resonates with them that it’s enough to let it happen from time to time- usually when the psyche’s at a critical point. It compliments the usual personality as a contrast. It doesn’t even have to be anything crucial. Can be as simple as not liking a music genre anymore.

Another reason for OOC-ness is when the character is transferred to a different place for several months. Different culture, different accents, different dialects, different other things. People tend to mimic what’s around them when steeped long enough.

*Headcanons are OOC by nature of it not existing in the first place. Even if it’s connected to a personality trait, it’s still something that hasn’t been entrenched in the original framework of reference. These are often the most biased and it’s usually done for readers to see themselves or other people in those characters. Headcanons can also be creative and shouldn’t be forced on others/stated as fact. It also shouldn’t be shot down just because it’s just an idea from someone else or your own.

Is deconstruction of a trope/archetype/stereotype even necessary when it’s something that most people already enjoyed?

First, by necessary, I mean, has it been done over and over already to the point that it’s repetitive? Have you tried giving your own twist to the deconstruction to make it unique (e.g. a mean girl who’s only kind to animals)?

Why do you deconstruct it? What purpose does it serve to the message or theme of a story?

Once you’ve mulled it over, how about a reconstruction?

__________________________________

If anyone has something to add, feel free. All of this is spontaneously typed in a matter of… I don’t know how many minutes before I sleep. Probably several errors and typos by the time it’s shared. It’s like trying to understand Light & Void, Heart & Mind, and Hope & Rage simultaneously on one topic. G'day. Night. Whichever.

#submission #long post #longpost #canon #fanon #hse #hs^2 #homestuck^2

13 notes · View notes

bucksbisexual · 4 years ago

Text

i’m a bit late to this but thank u @gaysarawat for tagging me in this!!!

list which 5 shows make you feel better then tag 10 other blogs.

spoiler alert: i’m not good with words shkfjshf don’t expect much from me pls. also, these are in no order, just how they come to my head

1. let me just start with my comfort drama, 2gether the series. this drama is so.. good? like i personally really liked watching tine falling in love with sarawat while watching sarawat fall in love with tine outside the bubble he created in his head about him. i love how pure their love is and, even with its flaws sometimes *ehem* the season finale handshake *ehem*, how they show it to each other in various ways. the side couples are good as well (even if it took me the existence of s2g for me to like milphukong) and so are the other characters. i hold this drama close to my heart and will always treasure it <3

2. next up is *drum roll* brooklyn nine nine!!! i rarely talk about it other than when it’s airing but this show is soooo good. i’ve been watching it for a few years (with a few hiatus in between because a bitch is dumb and forgot to keep watching... for months at a time) and half rewatched it half finished watching it to catch up before season 7 came out and let me tell you, the way this show has my heart????? god i love it i literally sobbed while watching the season 7 finale because my parents have a son now!!!!!!!! ah anyways, even though it’s a sitcom and sitcoms have like.... faint plots, i really like how it’s going for each character and i’m so excited to watch season 8 (for what i’m hoping it’ll be) next year!!!!

3. i had to think about this a bit but i think i’m gonna go with dark blue kiss! this drama was honestly a ride but seeing a grown up petekao and the idiots squad going through life was truly the highlight of it. after rahul’s post, i don’t think i can say anything close to the beautiful words he used hhhh but i’ll try and make sense sjfhs what i really like about this drama is how it’s a tad bit more mature than you’d usually expect from a bl? the side couple is definitely more mature since sun is like.. Years older than mork and shit sjfhks but yeah, u can see it in how it handled certain things that maybe other bls haven’t really touched on ((and i get that bls are like.. supposedly feel good content for (non) lgbt audiences but ignoring those does Not make us feel good... <3)) and i especially love the ending!! the last episode really highlights the character development from everyone during the whole series and i think there couldn’t have been a better one :-)

4. okay this might come as a shock to some but next is the untamed!! basically the drama that made me come back to tumblr sjfhksfj i’m so attached to drama i’ve rewatched it once *holt’s voice* AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN. no but really, i really want to rewatch and i would if the whole rip lotus pier arc didn’t make me want to punch jiang cheng’s ass Badly,,,, but other than that, what an amazing drama holy Fuck. the characters....... such complex characters and so many smartasses together. i fucking Love it. i especially love how the directors of the drama said “okay how gay can we make this without getting the attention of the government” ksjfjsfh but yeh . this drama makes me Feel things so it of course had to be here

5. and last but not least (and probably the hardest to choose because why did u just give me 5 op smh), theory of love!! now, does the power of this drama towards my person have something to do with me being whipped for half of the cast? of course yes. but cast aside, the story was really good!! and as someone who, at the time of watching, hadn’t really seen many non-engineers bls, this was truly a breath of fresh air. i love how, even though it’s the clear best friends to lovers, they added the one sided crush at the start and lots of angst in the middle to make it extra ✨🌶spicy🌶✨ and break our hearts even more :-))) also, something that i found really interesting was the fact the side couples were not in the book??? so someone in that writing room thought bone being into his teacher was okay.... lmao chile angays untwo! underappreciated couple and underappreaciated characters. two?? a literal sweetheart. un??? the man’s just vibing and hoping for two to stop hating him for no reason skjfhksj but oh well they ended up together so . win for the bisexuals ! khai and third Hurt and they (well, third) went through it all, but now tHEYRE ENGAGED BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay that’s all sfhksjfhf this was really fun!! and it made me truly think why i love these shows and try and express it so !! great hehe

i’m now tagging @calaveritaenby @wjmild @wavelovespang @ppkrits @asianmelodrama @pangwave @class2clown @toptaps @brightwin and @midyears !! if u guys have done it or don’t want to do it u can ignore this 👉🏻👈🏻

#game #tag game #long post #2gether #b99 #brooklyn nine nine #dark blue kiss #the untamed #theory of love

16 notes · View notes

mscurious88 · 5 years ago

Text

TGD Episode 3x10

In many ways, this episode delivered on the promise of the show’s pilot.

THE GOOD: Everything. BRILLIANT writing, BRILLIANT acting. Off the charts chemistry btw Glassman, Shaun & Lea. It was the equivalent to a “Slap your mama” meal. (i.e. Why are they holding back when they could be this good? ) So much to unpack. It reminded me of “Unbelievable” on Netflix which is an enormous compliment. It brought up how the “good guy’s” ignorance/insensitivity to the victim’s experience/trauma ends up making the situation worse. Someone on twitter compared Lea/Glassman to the devil/angel on Shaun’s shoulder at the gravesite scene. Completely disagree. Glassman urging Shaun to forgive his father/show compassion really undervalued the harm the CRIMINAL abuse & neglect had on Shaun. Lea was Shaun’s victim advocate throughout, making HIS feelings her concern. And that’s how it SHOULD always be.

GLASSMAN AND LEA HOSTILITY: It’s obvious Glassman’s unresolved issues with his daughter clouded his advice to Shaun (ultimately to Shaun’s detriment.) *HOWEVER*, I think they may also be biasing his view of Lea. His quick tone shift when Lea called him “controlling” made me wonder if he’d heard the criticism from his daughter? I LOVED the Lea’s family dysfunction reference bc the audience might’ve easily forgotten it and it was relevant to how she was behaving. It would play not only into how protective she’d be of Shaun with his parents, but may also affect how she reacts to Shaun’s surrogate father’s treatment of him and HERSELF. I think Lea got defensive w/Glassman bc his opinion matters to her and she struggles w/confidence to stick to her guns bc of her own family history. It struck me when Glassman, Lea and Shaun were sitting around the bar table, they’re 3 ppl w/unhappy family relationships who could create a new support unit if Glassman & Lea would support each other.

GLASSMAN MEDDLING IN SHAUN/LEA: I hope the writers dig into Glassman/Lea so much more. It’d not only boost their character development, but their dynamic affects Shaun/Lea greatly so I’m not sure Shaun & Lea can progress much until Glassman/Lea are dealt with. I’m not sure many viewers recognize just how much Glassman has meddled into Shaun/Lea’s relationship. If you think of all the ways he discouraged Lea from being involved romantically w/Shaun and his “you’ll hurt him, You know it. I Know it. “ before she started seeing Jake, and then the way he flip flopped on his advice to Shaun and now the way he’s pushing Shaun to be with Carly? Glassman is the anti cupid for Shea. He’s just more subtle than the typical love obstructing mother trope.

SHAUN/CARLY - Shaun didn’t want her to go with him. He wasn’t going to call her. The contrast in his comfort w/touch from Lea and Carly couldn’t be more stark. I’m BEYOND ready for Shaun to realize Carly isn’t the one for him and for the PAINFULLY awkward Carly/Shaun make out scenes to be over. I fear there will be yet more. I saw on a TGD REDDIT thread ppl explaining diff. reasons why they dislike Shaun/Carly. I agree w/some points. It’s hard for me to pinpoint why I find them supremely uncomfortable. I don’t feel like they’re empowering him & are actually harmful, but I can’t articulate the reason yet.

SHAUN/LEA - SOOOO much easy chemistry. My favorite small moment was Lea’s flirty smile back to Shaun in the bar when he agreed to go swimming and Shaun’s subtle, smitten/pleased with himself, but not flaunting it too much to Glassman expression back. Seriously, that was incredibly played by Freddie Highmore. It was similar to his expression when she invited him in for apples, but extra rich bc Glassman was his audience this time. Everyone notices Highmore’s acting in big emotional scenes like the meltdown ending, but the nuance he captures in conveying blink-and-you’ll-miss-them hints to Shaun’s inner life is extraordinary talent.

Main takeaway was so happy Lea was there for Shaun. It’s interesting to see viewers still distrustful of Lea bc she is flakey. I think Lea deeply loves Shaun & is attracted to him,but she holds back bc SHE is distrustful of herself. Lea didn’t answer Glassman about kids, bc maybe she would like them but doesn’t think she’d be a good mother which was alluded to in the dead fish/“Hubert” story. Also, it was an EXCELLENT touch to mention Lea was busy at work, but still went with Shaun. I so wish the other writers would reference Lea’s life outside of Shaun more, even a single line before she exits about where she’s going or what she’s doing would help. Lea NEVER gets to tell her side of things to anyone and some viewers take the worst possible interpretation to her actions and fail to give her any credit for her kindness. For them, she only exists in relation to what she can do for Shaun, which is the effect of only giving her snippets of scenes revolving entirely around him. Let Lea to be a whole person please.

CLAIRE/MENTAL HEALTH - Thank goodness she called a therapist. Hopeful for the return of old Claire. Truly, one of the best parts of The Good Doctor is how much they tackle mental health issues. On a show about surgeons, they could avoid it, but they’re often the most important plots bc no one challenges treating a physical condition, yet plenty of ppl outright SHAME ppl for treating mental health/neuro conditions.

CLAIRE/MELENDEZ - SO much easy chemistry. Melendez establishing himself as a support system for Claire is perfect. He knows now she won’t ask for help, so he’ll have to show it w/out request and often. This dynamic adds depth to both. LOVE it.

THE BAD: Just wish the episode had been longer. They cut a flashback scene of Shaun being hit that was in the promo, that would have reminded ppl the abuse wasn’t just words. I know Shaun said so, but some ppl aren’t attentive viewers and need reminders. Also sad a Melendaire ER entrance scene in the promo stills was cut. Otherwise, nothing but love. They’ll likely submit this episode for Emmy consideration and they absolutely should. :Chef’s kiss:

#thegooddoctor #The Good Doctor #The Good Doctor ABC #Shaun Murphy #lea dilallo #richard schiff #freddie highmore #melendaire #shea

63 notes · View notes

enbycupcake · 6 years ago

Text

“we’ve been dating this whole time but you didn’t know??”

post kh2. sorikai. on ao3 [ here ]

Riku snorts when he sees Sora stumble out of his front door, almost tripping over his large feet and desperately clutching onto an aluminum tin. His mom calls out to wish him a good day, and his ma laughingly tells him to wish Riku a happy birthday from her. Sora shouts back he will; Riku raises his voice, too.

“Thanks, Arisa!”

Sora smiles at him as he basically skips towards him, and Riku hums as Arisa whistles at him before the front door closes. Turning his attention to his friend, Riku looks at how big the tin is. Someone went overboard.

Again.

Laughing, Riku ruffles Sora’s hair, ignoring Sora crying out for his balance. “You’ve fought against heartless, but holding one oversized tin is enough to get you scared?”

“You’re gonna ruin the cupcakes! I frosted them, and everything!”

“I hope you don’t expect me to carry those around school all day. Kairi’s made me some, too, right?”

Sora perks up at the mention of his girlfriend, and Riku grows fond against his own volition. The two of them are cute together, just like he knew they’d be. Riku lets out a small smile while Sora answers.

“Yep! And you have to eat all of them.” Sora gives him a mock glare. “No giving them out to the rest of our year.”

Eyebrow rising, “No? You know Selphie’s gonna take one of each, and Tidus is gonna whine until I feed him.”

“They’re our friends! But no one else! We worked hard on these!” A dusting of pink litters Sora’s cheeks. “And they’re special. We made them with extra love this year.”

“...are you saying that my cupcakes from two years ago, you held out on me?”

“You’re so annoying.” Sora bumps his shoulder with Riku, still ever so careful about the tin in his arms. “You know what I meant, stink face.”

Riku thinks he does; for a while, none of them thought they’d get to see another birthday. And his is the first one since they’ve been reunited. It’s more than just him getting another year older; it’s a symbol that they’ve made it, that they’re all still together. “Of course, Sora.”

“Good.”

Sora lingers close to his arm, Sora’s own brushing up against Riku’s, all the way to Kairi’s house. Riku smiles over his friend’s head, just looking at him, fondness coursing through him – they could make it to Kairi’s house blindfolded, the both of them. Listening as Sora chatters about what he thinks of last night’s episode of his moms’ favorite drama, Kairi’s house draws closer and closer. She’s waiting for them, no mad dash like Sora to greet them.

In her hands is another tin, this time a glass one. Riku can make out chocolate cupcakes and yellow frosting.

“Riku! Happy birthday!” Kairi beams at him, raising the baked goods in her arms. “Mine are better than Sora’s.”

“They are not! You’re using my ma’s recipe, may I remind you.”

Snorting, Riku leans down pretend to inspect them. “I dunno, Sora. Did you make the frosting yellow?”

“Duh.”

“Chocolate cake?”

“Obviously.”

Riku straightens, putting on a solemn face. “Then it comes down to taste.”

Kairi giggle-snorts while Sora huffs. “None of you appreciate the blessing Ma gave us.”

“Aw, of course we do.” Riku pulls the both of them to him slowly so as not to disrupt the cupcakes, arms around their shoulders. “Thank you for the extra love cupcakes, guys.”

Both Sora and Kairi’s faces heat up, Riku notes. His stomach flutters at the reminder of how important he is to them. He can’t believe his younger self was jealous and doubtful because of Sora’s crush. Even with the new development of his friends dating, he’s still just as included as he’s ever been.

“You’re welcome, Ri.” Kairi grins up at him. “Everyone is gonna pout seeing you’re already loaded up with stuff.”

Riku groans. “You’d think after being gone a year I wouldn’t be popular anymore.”

“Ha! So you’re going carry the cupcakes!”

“Of course he is. And it’s because you look like a bad boy. Also you’ve got soft hair.”

Ignoring Sora, Riku blows his bangs out of his face. “You think a haircut would cut it?”

“No.” Kairi and Sora pout at him. “Do you want to cut it?”

Shrugging, Riku notes they’re almost at school. “I just thought of it.”

“Well, you’d look hot long or short hair.” Kairi gives him a wide mouthed smile, face full of affection. “I’ll get Selphie to give you a discount if you really want a cut.”

Sora laughs. “She’d probably do it for free just to say she got to touch it.”

“Probably,” agrees Kairi.

Riku rolls his eyes, detaching himself from his friends. “Why aren’t either of you disastrously unattainable in the eyes of the student body?”

“We don’t have muscles, sadly.”

“I could workout with you two, you know.” Both of his friends make disgusted faces at him. “Fine, don’t join me in popularity.”

“We’ll survive, I’m sure,” Sora drawls as he opens up his tin. “Take one so I can eat one!”

Rolling his eyes, Riku obliges and takes out two cupcakes, knowing Kairi won’t eat one until break. “You could’ve just had one before putting them in here.”

“They’re for you!”

“And you’re still gonna eat like half of them.”

“Duh, you aren’t gonna eat like fifty cupcakes by yourself.”

Kairi laughs at Sora talking with cupcake in his mouth. “Maybe finish your bite first.”

“No.”

Riku shares the long suffering look Kairi shoots him. Sora, while the greatest friend they could ask for, is a sloppy heathen. Kairi shakes her head at her boyfriend, rolling her eyes as he proceeds to inhale the rest of his cupcake. Riku purposefully makes a show of slowly eating his, enjoying the way Sora makes silly chewing faces at him. Kairi fondly mutters about them, eyes slipping between them.

Wiping the little frosting he got off the corner of his mouth, Riku lets out an exaggerated sigh as he holds out his arms; with Kairi saying he’s gonna carry the cupcakes, it’s better to just give in. Kairi’s cheeks are flushed with happiness, probably because he didn’t even pretend to resist. She places her tin in his hands, and Sora delicately stacks his on top.

“A birthday Riku, ready for the masses!”

Snorting, Riku pulls his arms in a little. “I’m always ready for the masses.”

“Uh huh.” Kairi pushes some of her hair behind her ear, glancing at Sora before him. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

“You know it!”

Riku nods. “Yeah. Please don’t make any dramatic birthday declarations.”

“There will be no promises,” both of them say in sync.

Selphie gawks at him when he walks into class. Riku takes his seat next to her. “Another Sora and Kairi cupcake bash.”

“No shit.” She lifts Sora’s tin up to get to Kairi’s, fiddling to get one cupcake from each. “I’m so jealous; did you see what my boyfriend did for my birthday?”

“I still say you should break up with him.”

“He’s cute, though! And I guess we can’t all have Sora’s ma’s talent for chocolate cake.” Selphie takes a bite, moaning at the taste. She finishes chewing before continuing. “Besides, not all boyfriends can be as great as Sora.”

Riku thinks of how Sora thinks the absolute world of Kairi, how far he’d go for her safety, the easy way the two transitioned from friends to lovers. The lack of any jealousy between them for how close Riku and Kairi are. “Touché.”

“Soooo!” Selphie raises her eyebrows suggestively. “Any plans for after school?”

Wrinkling his nose at the implication, Riku shakes his head as he digs into his backpack for his pen. Their teacher should be in soon. “We’re probably gonna go to the play island, hang out.” ‘We’ is easy enough for Selphie to figure out is Sora and Kairi; it’s not like Riku really hangs out with anyone else besides them and her. “Sora’s mom’s probably gonna make dinner.”

Selphie blinks at him. “You’re not spending your b-day dinner at home?”

“No.” His tone is harsh, but he knows it’ll make Selphie drop it.

True to form, her lips pull up into another smile. “What did the lovebirds get you?”

“Cupcakes.”

“Rikuuuuu,” she whines.

“Probably an embarrassing announcement at lunch, if I’m right.”

“You’re so lame. I’d be fawning if my boyfriend did any of the things Kairi and Sora do for you.”

“Break up with him, Selphie,” Riku tells her as their teacher walks in.

Tidus takes a plateful of cupcakes; he came to class with a plate ready.

“Dude, I’ve looked forward to your birthday since we were babies. Sora’s ma’s cupcakes are the shit.”

“I’m feeling very used.”

Shoving cupcake into his mouth, Tidus nods. “You know our friendship is just a sham. I’m only here for Sora benefits.”

“That hurts.” Riku puts a hand to his heart. “I thought what we had was special.”

“Nope!”

Swiping at him, Riku is pleased to see frosting jam into the other boy’s cheek as he misses his mouth. “Asshole.”

“I’ll let that slide since you’re gonna let me eat as many of these as I want.” Tidus wags a finger at him. “But know, come tomorrow, I’m gonna be pissed at you for ruining my cupcake.”

“Sure you are.”

“I am. And I’ll beat you at something, for once.”

“Kairi and Selphie’s scoreboard doesn’t agree with you.”

“I hate you. But tell Sora I love his ma.”

“You can tell Sora that yourself, weirdo.”

Tidus slaps his shoulder. “What’d Sora get you anyway? Kairi?”

“Cupcakes.”

Groaning, Tidus punches his shoulder this time. “You used that on Selphie, too, didn’t you?”

“Yep.” Riku dusts off his shoulder, making a point of blowing off the imaginary dust. “You two are too easy.”

“I bet Sora and Kairi can say that about you.” He wiggles his eyebrows the exact same way Selphie did. “You gonna give it up today, huh, Riku? We gonna see a kiss today?”

Eyebrows scrunching, Riku looks at Tidus. He’s not dating anyone. He’s never even flirted with anyone at school. “What are you and Selphie on about today?”

“Psh. We’re just being nosy; sources say birthdays are romantic occasions.” Tidus dramatically lies across his desk, barely missing his cupcake plate. “Besides, I’m living vicariously through you and Selphie, man.”

“...I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“I guess you of all people wouldn’t.” Tidus looks up at him pathetically. “Can I steal more cupcakes?”

“It’s not like I was stopping you before.”

Sora and Kairi are waiting for him at their usual table, hands linked together. Riku smiles at how cute they are, both of them raising their hands, still connected, to wave him over. Their smiles are beaming, and Riku makes his way over. Sora’s cheeks dimple while Kairi’s eyes crinkle.

“Are you two gonna embarrass me?”

“Nope!” Sora declares. Kairi reaches for a cupcake, one of the ones Sora made since it’s easier to get to one handed. “We’re just gonna play footsie under the table and eat lunch.”

Kairi’s foot comes out to bump his, shortly followed by both of Sora’s, and Riku laughs. Of course Sora was serious.

“You dorks.”

A peak of Sora’s tongue while Kairi salutes. “You know it.”

“Embarrassing you comes after school.”

“Oh, so your moms are gonna participate?”

“Yep!”

“Kairi, please save me.”

“No way. Go against Sora’s moms? Pass.”

Riku knocks her foot. “So much for trust.”

“You wouldn’t trade me for the worlds.”

“You’re damn right.”

One of Sora’s feet does a little kick, and his arm comes up so he can rest his cheek on his palm. “I love you two.”

“Love you, too,” is Kairi’s easy response.

“Me, too.”

“It’s ‘me, three,’ c’mon, Riku,” comes Tidus, swinging down to sit by him. “If there’s three of you, you might as well do it right.”

“Nobody asked you.”

Selphie waves Riku off as she sits on the other side of him. “The peanut gallery always is allowed opinions.”

“Are not,” says Sora. “It’s still ‘too,’ anyway. Two people love me, not three.”

“Don’t you ever bring grammar up to me ever again. You gotta do it for the vibe.”

Selphie and Kairi roll their eyes, and Sora sticks his tongue out. Riku grabs a cupcake. Sora’s right, but not for the reason he gave; Riku, however, isn’t gonna give Tidus anything.

“So, where the fuck are my gifts, anyway, Tidus, Selphie?”

Flipping her hair with an eyeroll, Selphie doesn’t even look at him as she opens her lunch sack. “I didn’t get you anything. Do you want–” she pulls out fruit gummies and waves them.

“On principle.”

She hands them over, and Riku raises his eyebrow at Tidus. Sora’s face is red trying to hold in his laughter. Kairi’s hand is over her mouth in amusement.

“Dude, my presence is a present.” Tidus shrugs. “I have nothing.”

“Some friend you are. I got you a smoothie.”

“Yeah, because it wasn’t on a school day!”

“Your point?”

“Kairi, tell him to stop being mean to me.”

Kairi puts her hand on top of his, her face now serious. “Riku, keep going.”

“Rude!”

Selphie tuts while Sora can’t contain his laughter any longer. “You know they’ll never team up against each other, Tidus.”

“I can hope; what was that saying about friends before girlfriends?” Tidus waves his hand. “And Soras.”

Kairi snorts while Sora lets out a “hey!” "Even before we were dating he’d pick us over you, remember?”

Riku blinks. And he examines Kairi to see if she’s feeling okay; she’s dating Sora, not him. He ignores whatever Tidus comes back with, and turns his attention to Sora. Sora, who isn’t even jokingly butting in, who isn’t even fazed, who just has a big smile on his face. It doesn’t settle right in his stomach. Sora would never take it to mean anything – there’s a reason he trusts Kairi and he trusts him – but what Kairi said isn’t right.

Sora notices him looking, his smile getting softer. Riku, for just a moment, thinks about not drawing any attention to this weird moment – to just confront Kairi later. But he immediately puts that thought out of his head. The three of them are a team, and Kairi said this in front of the both of them. Besides, Sora’ll probably love teasing him once this is over; Riku’s probably missing something.

Subtly jerking his head, Riku starts packing away his lunch. Sora nods, and Kairi, ever aware, also starts putting away her tiny food containers.

“Well, it’s time for us to give Riku one of his presents!” Sora gives an apologetic smile to their friends. “Riku, close your eyes. It’s in our spot.”

Selphie squeaks. “You waited until half of lunch was over just to tease us!”

“Maybe.” Kairi puts her hand on Selphie’s. “But you’ll get to see it next class, so I think you’ll forgive us.”

“It better be good!”

Riku snorts as he picks up the cupcake tins and stands. Sora throws his lunch pack hazardously into his backpack while Kairi puts hers in her front pouch. “I think it’s my job to judge if their presents are good or not.”

Sora pushes him forward, and Kairi slots herself on his other side. Her hand hangs close to his, ready for either him to take it or for her to take his if he’s feeling overwhelmed. Sora’s stays on the small of his back. Swallowing, Riku feels bad that they think he’s...feeling lost, as they’ve taken to calling it when one of them needs the reminder that they’re finally home.

Once they reach the little supply closet that is never locked and never checked, Kairi leans in to look him in eyes after he places the cupcakes on a shelf. “You okay, Ri?”

“Yeah.” Riku gives her a reassuring smile before dropping it to continue. “I’m just...confused. About earlier.”

“Earlier?” Sora asks, his hand drawing away from his back. He puts his hands above his head.

“Kairi said we were dating.”

Both of his friends look at him blankly. “Uh, yeah?”

“Um.” Riku can’t detect anything but confusion from them. “You two are dating?”

He’s met with frowns, Sora and Kairi looking at each other before Kairi’s hand comes up to his forehead under his bangs. Her hand is warm against his skin. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Ri?”

“Did you hit your head? Are you missing anything?”

Riku shakes his head, Kairi’s hand falling to instead over hesitantly around his cheek.

“But you don’t remember us asking you out?” she says.

“You....have never asked me out.” Riku thinks over all his memories, trying to find any piece at all makes any sense of this. Kairi and Sora have been their usual selves, nothing at all telling him something is out of place or someone’s been dream snatched or he’s being messed with. “Are you my Kairi and Sora?”

Sora whacks him in the arm. “Are you our Riku?”

“Neither of you have mentioned alternate realities, so one of you better start talking, my Sora and Riku or not.”

“We’ve never encountered them, but Kairi! We’ve had so many date nights, he can’t be ours if he hasn’t lost any memories!”

Riku sighs. “How about we start from where we remember dating beginning and go from there.”

“Right.” Sora nods enthusiastically.

Kairi sits down, patting the spots beside her. “We might as well get comfortable.”

Riku folds himself down as best as he can, but Kairi and Sora prod at his legs until he just sits with them on top of the two of them. It’s more comfortable, like Kairi wanted, and she smirks at him for it before pushing some hair behind her eye, face getting serious.

“So, I guess Sora and I’ll go first.” She grabs Sora’s hand, fiddling with his fingers. “Remember after Tidus’s birthday, we went to the play island for the weekend? And we watched the sunset?”

“And Sora wanted to sleep right there on the beach? Yeah.” Riku smiles. “I had to throw him over my shoulder to get him up to the shack.”

“Listen, it would’ve been nice!!”

“Not after the tide came up.” Riku and Kairi counter at the same time.

Sora rolls his eyes. “But, we changed into our pajamas, and the two of you were very warm. I almost kissed you right there.” He scratches his head. “I figured it’d be better to wait until morning, though.”

Kairi flicks his forehead while Riku laughs.

“Stop it.” Sora pouts at them. “But morning rolled around, and the sun was shining just right to make both of your hair shiny when we went back out. And when you grabbed us, I had to.”

Kairi’s smiling, love woven into her face despite her blush. Sora’s cheeks are flushed, and Riku feels too warm. Sora’s always frank about his emotions, but for the most part Riku’s never been exposed to it in a romantic context. Listening to Sora talk about his memory – their memory, so far nothing has changed between their recollections expect the end product – makes Riku wish that he could have what they’re insisting is real.

Swallowing, Riku ignores the urge to grab at his friends. Sora and Kairi are happy, and he won’t ruin it in a moment of weakness at whatever is happening here.

“Kairi let me kiss her, but you told me not to.” Sora flashes a smile at him. Riku feels his stomach drop; his Sora had done the same thing. “You looked really panicked about it, so I grabbed your hands, and I told you I loved you. Then you told me you love me, too, and that it was about time, and you let me rest my head on your shoulder while Kairi made us breakfast. And I told her I love her, too. That’s how we started dating!”

Riku stares at his friend, and then he turns to stare at Kairi. He once again looks at Sora. “That’s...exactly how I remember you two started dating.”

Kairi groans. “What part of that makes it seem like just me and Sora were dating? You were right there. Sora said he loves you.”

“Uh, the part where Sora’s been crushing on you since forever? I thought he was panicking about kissing you in front of me.”

“Wait, so you don’t mind kissing?!”

“Sora, focus.” Kairi puts a finger in Riku’s face. “And our date nights? What, pray tell, where you thinking those were?”

Riku glances at Kairi’s finger, wetting his mouth. He’s in deep shit, whatever he says. There’s been no reality swapping, just miscommunication, it seems. “I thought we were hanging out.”

“Hanging out!” Sora cries. “I was sitting as close to in your lap as I thought you’d be comfortable with! We had a rotating schedule!”

“A...rotating schedule?”

“We'd rotate Saturday mornings; one for you and Sora, one for you and me, one for me and Sora. And Saturday evening we’d have a group date. Did you not notice?”

“No?” Riku says. He was definitely aware that he thought it was weird that Sora and Kairi never went out as a couple on the easiest weekend day, but he never thought it was because they thought he was supposed to be a part of the date.

Sora hits his face with his palm while Kairi pokes him in the forehead. “My gods, I’m in love with idiots.”

Her voice is fond, and Riku takes solace in that. “I...don’t know what to say.”

Kairi clamps her hand over Sora’s mouth, speaking over him. “Do you need time?”

“No.” Riku looks at his legs, thrown over Kairi and Sora’s. Looks back at all the time he felt warm at being included, at not being third wheeled. Knowing, now, it’s easy to see how their interactions with him have changed. It’s the little extra touches, the little softer smiles, the pink cheeks. Sora wasn’t panicking or feeling pity when he tried to kiss him; flushing, Riku looks the both of them in the eye. “I want to do this right, this time.”

Kairi and Sora’s smiles are blinding. Riku lets his lips pull into a small one, reaching for his friends hands.

“Can I kiss you?” Sora asks, clumsy.

Rolling her eyes, Kairi shakes her head, and Riku laughs. “Yeah.”

“Thanks, Riku!”

Sora lunges over Kairi, and Riku ignores the way it makes his legs hurt. It’s a quick peck, Sora’s chapped lips only just brushing his, but Riku feels his heart skip a beat at how pleased Sora looks when he pulls away. Sora’s fingers tangle into his shirt as he settles back on his side of Kairi, and Kairi finds his hand.

“So, is this a you don’t mind kissing, or is this a special occasion?”

Riku shrugs, just enjoying their attention now that he can. He’s never thought he’d date; Kairi and Sora have been it, for him.

Kairi kisses the corner of his mouth. “Keep us posted.”

“Yeah.”

#sorikai #destiny trio #kingdom hearts #kh #my fic #kh fic #food mention

48 notes · View notes

daughterofsinsloth · 7 years ago

Note

Hi! It's stated in your bio that you analyze fics, so I just want to hear about your fic recs for Soukoku? Preferably fluff, but other genres are also fine since the ship is full of angst and smut lol. Thank you!

Hello hello anon-chan!! How are you? Mm! It does, thank you very much for asking! Fluffly fluff heh? (my ultra favorite!!!!!!) Okay! Here are some fics! Enjoy ^^

Of sleepless nights and warm embraces by Konoha79 :

this fic.. aaah this one is a true gem! just amazing! its about Chuuya working really hard do he can have some free time will his boyfriend Dazai on Christmas Eve. this one has protective!Dazai and cute!Chuuya in.its really well written and the writer made their emotions appear well. another thing that I like is that the writer with only a few sentaces put a nice history behide and you dont need more informations. they write about an episode and thats it, without confussing the reader. the characters are build well and the bit of crack in there is really funny. Dazai is gently, something that we dont see often, and Chuuya is soooooooo cute, that gets your soul full! ITS A MUST READ FIC!

Oops by Witheryvine :

another good fic. in here Dazai and Chuuya are secretly married, but it slips off Dazai, while he trys to play the matchmaker to shin soukoku in front of EVERYONE! Mostly crack in here, but the fluffiness is located at protective!Chuuya Kouyou I can explain dont kill him and at how Dazai treats Chuuya. its short but full at the same time. well writen and the writer made a great job giving us some skk background. also also kunikichuu friendship!!!! THE BEST!

Captured by Witheryvine:

(AU) another short story by the same writer. Photographer!Dazai capturing lawmajor!Chuuya on camera and some good flirting!! well writen, cute and of course sweet. its … “soft” and calm. love it.

Shared Gravity by writingfromtheshadows and ZODIACHUUYA:

(AU/multe-chapter) okay this one anon-chan! they start as academic enemies to enemies friends with benefits to lovers/couple. well writen. they portrait skk’s inner thoughts and fears really weel and realistic. this is like some friend of yours talking about their story and if this is not GREAT i dont know what its gonna be. they take turns with the chapters as Chuuya and Dazai PV, but its in perfect harmony. doesnt have much smut, if not at all. this one is a favorite coz it shows how you fell in love unexpected, hard and uncontrollable. Gin is the “come on you idiots you love its other!” in a cool way. its great that we can see her, coz not many give her spot time. im telling you this fic is GOLD. and leaves you with a healing feeling. complite

the opposite of alone by TheGreatCatsby:

short fic, cute fic. Chuuya can’t sleep, so he decieds to texts Dazai. its really sweet fic. Dazai immediately runs to were Chuuya is and they are all sweet couple but not really. its more about the feelings that are there but they cant get out, yet its all there for people to see.its an amazing fic and the best thing it is that it gives you the feels from the first part! also we are talking for thegreatcatsby, of course its well written, well structured and soooo satisfying.

This by sodenoshirayuki_23:

okay anon-chan hear me up.this fic here is one of a majestic kind of story. BUT! THE WRITER!!!! has sooooooooooo many good fics that i couldnt choose. her angsty fics are masterpiece one by one. and please, i beg you go read “heavy”; its angsty you die but you go happy. HIGHLY RECCOMENDED. this one, tho, is AU and an mpreg (sorry if you are no into it) and its sooooo sweet and fluffy you could die. the children are sskk and spoiler later kyouka . well written.really nice story. fluffy fluff with fluff on top. what more can i say? its just sooo cute. the characters here are really interesting. and the episode is great. MUST!!!

Margin Of Error by izanyas:

its not fluff just to be clear. but its SO HIGHLY RECCOMENDED THAT YOU FLY TO ANOTHER PLANET. its AU,mafiaboss!Dazai anddoctor!Chuuya.After a failed assassination attempt on his person, Dazai finds himself recovering in an unfamiliar place: a hospital where criminals abound, staff and patients alike, and Dazai’s own doctor is a little too attractive. when you finish this, run to the writer’s other fics like Usen Bolt. they are soooooo talented. not so fluff but GREAT nonetheless. ruuuuun! ah! when you see Owe No Debt you will know that you reached the paradice.

This Time by stargazerlilith:

another MUST READ writer. this on this cuteness overload. well writen. another with workaholic!Chuuya and great boyfriend!Dazai. sweet and fluff compinate to an amazing resolt. read read it!. side note:their other stories and awesome! i storngly reccomend “mine”, which is smut with feelings.

Mother by WhisperingWinds99:

here we have skk relationship from the start. the fluff is of course in the relationship, but mostly coz we see the relationship between Kouyou and Chuuya. she is the ‘mother’ in Chuuya’s life more than the ane-san. its fluff coz you she skk get more mature and you see Kouyou growing old with them. well writen, good story. GODESS KOUYOU IS BACK!

The art of paint by Konoha79:

this one i promise you that its the most beautiful thing i have ever read. its skk family. canon universe, skk is married, Chuuya finds a child and everyone is oppose, but they keep him. this takes place two years later and shows us an episode of their life as famly. God its beutiful. when i have a bad day i read this. anon.. anon! read this! its really great. well writen, well build, well partial. you have a clean picture of their life and feelings. its sweet, its cute, its fluff and its a must. honestly,in my opinion,this is one of the best skk fluff stories i have read.

Now let me talk a bit about SoukokuParadise:

she is the fluff goddess of the skk fandom. she writes fluff, and a damn good ones. check out her works; they are great, well writen and well build, some character development and a lots of cuteness. i will talk for her favorite “How to Hate Nakahara Chuuya” and hear me up anon when im telling you that its great! its about Dazai taking care of Chuuya after ep. 21. as the writer says, Dazai speaks with actions (she keeps the characters close to the canon and that's really good, makes them more realistic), small words that speak loud of his true feelings. i really like how she writes Chuuya. he is unconscious but his reactions are being given to us by Dazai. thats really interest and i havent see many writers do that. interest PV. spoiler Chuuya calls Dazai “Osamu” and im dead. also the endingggggg

lastly but not least!

Insomnia_Productions :

yet ! another one writer that I cant decide which one fic is the best. they are all GREAT and you should read them all! like ALL! the ones I LOVE LOVE LOVE are:

The New Year’s Tradition (AU)

Not Safe For Work

“Ah… I Think We’re In What They Call A Hate/Love Relationship.” (AU)

Disney’s: The (Totally Not Little) Merman (AU)

How To Obtain A Child And Husband Entirely By Accident

one is greatest than the other. well writen, like watching a movie. you “get into the character” and you are so into it that you cant leave them after the 3rd time you read them. trust me, this are the fics I always go back reading them over and over again and its always amazing. like the first time you read them you will be soooooo satisfied and sooo happy. perfect I tell you.

EXTRA: kiss me on the lips(and show you love me) by photography_tea:

this one is also a favorite of mine. its smut but more than that its making love. it has character development and realization of their feelings. crack and fluff combinate into love that leads to the unlimited epitomy of fluff, the lovemaking. being one with the other. loving and being loved in return. the writer did an amazing job at showing how in their mafia days skk find a small light to keep moving. oblivious!chuuya and hungry!Dazai are often a subject to write but here they are on another scale. their “play” shows more about their weird relationship than they would admit. its a hell of a great fic! must read!

also! if you would like you can check my fic : Can you sew my suit? by alchemy_omi:

it has fluff in it with a bit of crack and liiiiight angst. also sskk are in it. its about their wedding. Dazai is the best man but he went for his suit the last moment. not being able to find a tailor shop, Akutagawa send him to his good friend Chuuya and the two fell in love. (AU/multe-chapter)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand thats it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

hope that you like my reccomendetions anon-chan and happy reading!! please tell me your opion about them and ask me again if you are happy! I gave you fluffy suggestions but you can ask me for another gender if you want!

have a wonderful day and take care!

bye bye :)

#fic rec #highly recommended #bungou stray dogs #soukoku

191 notes · View notes

softnorwegians · 7 years ago

Text

Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus*

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

☝ I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl.

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.

#anon #replies #skam

3 notes · View notes

shippingk8 · 7 years ago

Text

RWBY Rundown, Episode 8 Volume 5

Anonymous

If you have seen it: What's your opinion on v5e8? We see that Yang have revealed more on the depth of her feeling for Blake but also Weiss initiating a more proactive role in helping Yang recover. I appreciate Weiss's canon frankness, but I will admit I'd enjoy it more if we got a hint of that jealous dere-dere like your Weiss from recovery.

Jacevi

Hello, it's me again :) Because I love your way of thinking and the way you write, I was curious if you would have some spare time to give us your opinion on the newest episode? Also really really curious what they wanted to represent with the close up on Weiss's fist clenching in that moment?

Ohhoho, so very many opinions and thoughts, to be honest. So without further ado, here is the rundown.

Weiss and Yang talk

Okay, wow. Let’s just get the giddiness from the sheer amount of Freezerburn moments in the last 4 episodes out of the way. Like YOWZA! (I think I’m gonna need to make another theory post just from everything that has happened in the last 3 episodes alone!) *rolls eyes* That said, I know that Freezerburn is still really unlikely to happen, so I will save the rest of my fan freak out for another post.

Weiss was such a major and important character this episode. It has been awesome to see Weiss shown as such an influential and rounded character this season. From the two dimensional ice queen of Volume 1 to the heart that is trying to keep their ‘family’ together in Volume 5 it has been really cool to see her character develop. I am very interested to see if this same level of help gets extended to all of her team members, or if there is something a little special about Yang in particular. On those opening comments let me elaborate.

The trend of Weiss and Yang ending up spending time together has been quite interesting to me, not just as a freezerburn shipper, but as writer. They are both so opposite, yet extremely similar, and I loved that about this episode. Yang doesn’t see how Weiss could possibly relate to her and yet Weiss explains just that.

She shares that just because she has a nuclear family, that doesn’t mean it is a good family. And it is because of that, that her team/friends have become her surrogate family. I thought this was awesome for multiple reasons. 1) It makes Weiss more real and multi-dimensional. 2) It helps fill in with more detail as to why she was an ice queen to start. 3) It was relatable as hell. Coming from a very similar family situation I just felt for Weiss and understood that need to make family when your own isn’t great. 4) You can see that telling Yang this wasn’t easy, but Weiss did it anyhow because she knew that it was what Yang needed to hear.

Now that said I did find a couple of things to be odd or interesting choices on the writers’ part. I thought it was a little curious that Weiss was the one to have this talk with Yang and not Ruby (more on that below). And it was a bit weird that Weiss said that she and Yang weren’t close, I am attributing this to her own insecurities, but (in my opinion) given how often the have been paired together in the past as well as the fact that she literally glomped Yang when she saw her again makes that sort of a weird thing to say. @toomuchfreetyme2 disagrees, as my editor says that Weiss is comparatively the least close with Yang of the group, ie Ruby is her sister and Weiss is her battle partner. Buuuuut I don’t like that argument, so I’m choosing to ignoring it. (Lol, I’m so getting yelled at later for that comment. Worth it~) And lastly, the hand gesture while Weiss is talking about Blake was an interesting and super confusing choice.

In my opinion that gesture was pretty really vague, and could have been interpreted a ton of ways. For instance, (in order from most to least likely) it could have been her secretly being mad at Blake for leaving too, but not saying it out loud because she didn’t think that was what Yang needed to hear right then. It could have been her worried about how things will go when Blake does come back. It could have been interpreted as her knowing that the closeness that she shares with Yang will be gone when Blake comes back. It could have been her knowing that she will have to be the bigger person, and put her feeling for Yang aside when Blake comes back. It could even have been interpreted as her having secret feelings for Blake. (Seriously if that is true then the show will have fallen into becoming an anime about Blake’s harem.)

Given just how vague and secretive this show can be I felt extra frustrated about the ambiguity of that gesture, because it was intentionally animated (meaning it was important) but also very unclear as to what it actually meant. I am hoping that it meant that she was holding onto some anger at Blake, because otherwise I feel like it is odd for her to be soooo supportive of Blake running away and leaving them. Especially considering that she got mad at Blake for not trusting or leaving the team more than once before The Fall. I also felt that it did undercut the validity of Yang’s feelings of being abandon a bit to not have Weiss at least acknowledge that she does have the right to feel hurt. *shrug* Overall props to the Weiss scene, it gave me the feels.

Ruby

I think it is significant that it was Weiss that talked to Yang and not Ruby. Of everyone, Ruby got to see more than anyone how much Yang was effected by The Fall. In my opinion I think it shows Ruby’s lack of experience as a lead and still prevalent immaturity. She has yet to acknowledge that Yang isn’t okay, whereas Weiss has on three distinct occasions. (In the bandit camp, when she speaks for Yang during the conversation with Oscar/Oz, and when she talks to Yang in this episode)

At this point it seems that team RNJR is happy accepting that Yang is fine. Which I could forgive from Nora, Jaune, and Ren, but not from Ruby. It is her sister, she felt that distance that was put between them from everything that happened to Yang, and she saw just how broken Yang became before she left. I get that they all just want to have a fun at ease night once they are all back together, but it is troubling to me that Ruby hasn’t reached out to her sister or at the very least been shown through body language or context to know that Yang ISN’T okay.

This mixed with all that we have learned about Ozpin makes me question if Ruby really is ready or supposed to be a leader, or if she was just put in the position because she is “special,” like her mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do think Ruby can become a great leader. She already has that paragon/inspirational touch, but I think she is still too young to have the wisdom to lead her team emotionally and does lack a level of maturity needed to be a good leader. Ruby has always been the one to go off and take care of things herself, being a rogue agent isn’t really a good quality for leadership. From what I have seem in volume 4 and 5 I think that that will be where Ruby’s character arc will grow next. Her maturing, gaining some more confidence, and figuring out how to be a true leader.

Blake and Illia

Sigh… If Illia is the only queer character on the show I am going to be epically pissed. Not even kidding a little bit.

Not because she is a bad character, but because her storyline got botched. The premise of her character was pretty solid to start. She was in the White Fang because her parents were dead and no one cared because they were faunus. She did seemed a tiny bit too willing to sacrifice everything for the cause, but I blame that feeling on a lack of a more fleshed out back story. I’m sure there are lots of other little stories and instances that got her to where she is right now, but it really sucks that we don’t/didn’t get any of that.

She was an interesting and important character, because she was the most relatable member of the White Fang and she was still struggling with the morality of taking her actions all the way. Which was good and very important for building empathy with the audience and throwing doubt in that ‘no one is completely evil’ sort of way.

But then they went and messed things up on sooooo many levels. First off, because of how and when Illia confessed her feelings most people are going to think that she is only acting like such a sacrificing member of the White Fang, ‘because she is in love with Blake.’ Which ends up obliterating the relevance of her back story and her actions being based on the fact that her family is dead. Second, *shakes fist in anger* could you stop with the vengeful unrequited lesbian trope! I know that wasn’t what they were going for, but that is what most people are going to see. And I can not tell you how unbelievably fed up with the shit writing that gets thrown at the gay community. It is like your options for a gay character are either to be a psycho, killed off after getting together, or be a psycho and killed off. Negative representation is not good representation!

(Deep breaths~)

Okay, moving on!

Blake

I was going to write something about Blake and her development, but I think I will save that for another time.

Blake and Adam

This is going to sound weird, but it would make for a better story if it was revealed that Blake and Adam didn’t actually have a relationship.

Here is why:

1) It is a really lame, extra psycho, and terrible message to send if Adam only wants to hurt Blake because she broke up with him. First off, and most important, we do not, I repeat, DO NOT need to be sending men (or anyone) the message that if someone breaks up with you you should go psychotic on them. Second, if Adam’s only motivation for going after Blake on a murder spree is because she broke up with him then that makes his character really lame, ultra one dimensional, and frankly boring. Sure it helps you hate the guy, but if he is going to stick around for more than a volume you should really add some depth and complexity to the situation and by extension the character.

2) If they weren’t actually ever together then it makes Blake look way better. The fact that Adam has turned out to be so violent and unstable has called into question Blake’s judgment in a big way, but if she held back because there was just something that didn’t feel quite right then that would give her character a lot of credit and make her more empathetic and relatable. That sort of hero worship scenario where someone turns out not to be quite who you thought they were has happened to almost everyone. And lastly Blake already has WAY too many love interests. I think it actually gives her character power back if she is the one that is able to say, “No, I choose not to be with you.”

3) It opens his ‘revenge’ story line to be a lot richer if they didn’t date. If it is established that they dated then the vast majority of people will simplify the entire thing to be all about him going crazy for being left. Anything significant that happened between them or any other very real and valid reasons for him wanting to get back at her will then become essentially a moot point for most people. Because, again, most people latch on the the biggest most easy to swallow thing first. For example a great element that could be introduced would be that Adam didn’t actually care that much for Blake emotionally, but wanted to be with her for the recognition that she brought. Adam obviously wanted to be leader of the White Fang, what better leverage than dating and having the support of the daughter of the previous White Fang leader.

Overall I actually did really like the episode, but I do wish that the Illia thing were handled differently. Now my thoughts on Episode 9 are a whole other post and I am really behind, so it will have to wait for after the new chapter gets posted on “Recovery.”

#Blake Belladonna #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #freezerburn #rwby theory #rwby volume 5 #here is my very long opinion #opinions #writing theory

14 notes · View notes

bootypopper · 7 years ago

Link

The 2nd December 2017 I had a terrible dream, or should I say nightmare. I don't remember most of it but close to its end; I am depressed, I hear about a trend of kids inhaling candle fumes and then dying suddenly. I then see a candle and without thinking I am over it and quickly inhale its fumes. Immediately, I slump into the ground, face down, and I feel my whole body become numb. As if my soul is slowly leaving my body. At that moment I felt a slight relief, but then I am consumed with regret as I see my mother plead and scream "No!No!Please NO!". I couldn't move and there was no turning back. I was dying. When I woke up, I felt more determined than ever to stay alive, to live my life to the fullest and never EVER place my mother in such position. Now its Monday, 18th of December 2017 and I find out that a great artist and influencer of my life ended his life after struggling with his battle against depression. Kim JongHyun passed after inhaling fumes from a burnt brisket, consequently suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning. Like myself, fans and individuals all over the world were caught in disbelief and surprise to have lost such an amazing person to mental illness. I spent my day remembering how Jonghyun impacted my life. I remembered being introduced to Kpop by my high school friends with Shinee's 'Ring Ding Dong' music video. It was all new to me. I probably commented how Jonghyun resembled a girl with his longish blond hair. That was the beginning of a whole new perpective. Thanks to that perfectly sounding "Babay~" I was interested and that interest only grew and developed to this wonderful love I have for Kpop and Korean culture as a whole. I remembered getting my first taste of Korean reality shows through Shinee's 'Hello Baby'. I remembered wainting hours infront of Abbey Road Studios back in 2011 to get a glimpse of Onew, Key, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin in British soil. I remembered how much my young brother loved the Ring Ding Dong song and how hard he danced to it during his Christening/Birthday party, making everyone so happy. I must say that over the years I developed my own problems with depression. During that time I distanced myself from everything and everyone; friends, family, music, work, school, life. I chose not to be positively influenced by Jonghyun's or any other artist's work. I broke myself down and refused to set a new foundation. I was a lost soul and I accepted my end. 31st December 2016 I took a bunch of Anadin Extra packs I had at home and put then in my handbag. I had planned to leave the house, travel as far as I could and then consume them all in one go. I was on the hedge that day and an unnecessary argument with my mum resulted in me leaving the house suddenly with nothing but my coat, phone and debit card. I was so triggered but I couldn't do anything. I had left my bag at home. I contemplated suicide for so long before, that on the day I planned to die I could only think about the aftermath. How will they react when they find out? How will it affect them in the long term? I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm just sick of how useless I am. They'll be better off without me. They won't have to see how pathetic I look anymore. All I do is bring pain and disappoint. I don't deserve their love. I wondered around for hours and entered 2017 on my own ...in the middle of a bunch of strangers, watching the London fireworks. I can't remember what I was thinking at that time, but I guess I had given myself another chance. I know exactly how Jonghyun felt. It's the worst feeling of hopelessness you could ever have and it's all consuming. The truth is that I will never get over my depression but I will not allow it to get me to were I was the afternoon of New Years eve 2016 or the day I didn't go to school and sent a 'help me' letter to my teacher. I am still young and I have soooo much to give and receive. I am a special human being and I will bring hope and joy to you who may be experiencing the despair Jonghyun and I felt. I keep surviving and he remains alive through his music, craft, advice and countless memories. You too are strong and will continue to spread endless positivity in this beautiful Shinee world. You can do it. Earlier I posted: Jonghyun was one of those entertainers that exuded such happiness and positivity that you could hardly imagine him going through such hard times. I too considered myself to be a happy person and I'm sure my friends and family felt the same. Unfortunately, I let myself go and all of a sudden I lost all interest in life. If you don't understand that feeling, consider yourself a very lucky person and pray to never EVER feel that way. I could have been in his position at the beginning of this year and I am proud and extremely glad that I am still here, today, looking forwards to another year. If you feel the slightest depressed, do not hold on to that feeling. Let it go. Speak to someone, anyone. Send me a message if you want. I may be a stranger but what I have to say may help you live another day. We failed Jonghyun but there are a lot more souls out there that need saving. I admit that this news is a trigger for me, although I only saw him through the eyes of a fan, it is extremely unfortunate that I now feel closest to him by knowing exactly how he felt in his last moments. I am crying but I don't grieve this Star with sadness, despite the unknown, Jonghyun brought lot of hope and joy to many of us along his short life. I Thank God for bringing such an individual to our lives and I wish that Kim Jong Hyun Rests In Pure Peace in Shinee World. His final letter read: I’m broken on the inside. The depression that slowly gnawed away at me eventually devoured me. I couldn’t overcome it. I hated myself. I resolved to hold on to memories and shouted at myself to come to my senses, but there was no answer. If there is no way to relieve stifling breath, it’s better to just stop. I asked who can be responsible for me. It’s only you. I was utterly alone. It’s easy to say you’re going to end things. It’s hard to actually end things. I lived with that difficulty this whole time. You told me that I wanted to escape. That’s right. I wanted to escape. From me. From you. You asked who is over there. I said it was me. I said it was me again. And I said it was me again. I asked why I keep forgetting my memories. You told me it was because of my personality. I see. I see that everything is my fault in the end. I hoped that people would notice but nobody knew. You never met me so of course you would not know I was there. You asked why I live. Just because. Just because. Everyone just lives just because. If you ask why people die, they would probably say it’s because they’re exhausted. I suffered and agonized about it. I never learned how to turn this pain into happiness. Pain is just pain. I tried to push myself past it. Why? Why am I keeping myself from putting an end to it all? I was told to search for the reason why it hurts. I know all too well. I’m hurting because of me. It’s all my fault, because I was born this way. Doctor, is this what you wanted to hear? No. I didn’t do anything wrong. When you told me in that calm voice that it’s because of my personality, I thought how easy it must be to be a doctor. It’s almost fascinating, that it hurts this much. People that have it harder than me seem to get along just fine. People weaker than me get along just fine. But that must not be true. Among the people in this world, no one has it harder than me, and no one is weaker than me. But I still tried to live. I asked myself why I had to do so hundreds of times, and it was never for me. It was for you. I wanted to do something for me. Please stop telling me things you don’t understand. You tell me to figure out why I’m having a hard time. I told you several times why. Am I not allowed to be this sad just for those reasons? Does it have to be more specific and dramatic? Do I need to have better reasons? I already told you. Were you even listening? Things you can overcome don’t remain as scars. I guess I was not meant to confront the world. I guess I was not meant to lead a life in the public eye. That’s why it was hard. Confronting the world, and being in the public eye. Why did I make those decisions. It’s ridiculous. It’s great that I even made it this far. What more can I say. Just tell me I did well. Tell me I did well enough and that I went through a lot. Even if you can’t smile while sending me off, don’t say it’s my fault. You did well. You really went through a lot. Goodbye.

#R.I.P Jonghyun #kim jonghyun #shinee #stay strong #shawol #keepgoing #youcandoit #kpop

5 notes · View notes

fanfictionconnectionwordpress · 7 years ago

Text

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | JuminxMC Good Ending Continued | Ch. 6 Daily Routine

***SOOOO I moved to Texas! I'm so sorry there wasn't a chapter last week, but I was moving and didn't have access to wifi. Welcome back to wifi world, though! This week you will get *two* chapters, so that I can make up for it. The extra chapter will be posted on Friday and regular Monday posting will resume after that.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for access to R-Rated Scenes and my monthly newsletter. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes. JuminxMC Good Ending Continued Chapter Directory ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

“My darling, I need to go to work.” Jumin’s voice thrummed low as he nuzzled my shoulder. He was always like this in the mornings. My husband would wake up to make breakfast for us himself, not wanting our special time in the mornings to be interrupted by the help. This normally meant morning snuggles as well. At first it had been somewhat embarrassing to snuggle in the mornings, memories of our night spent together flitting through my mind, but in the month since our marriage, I had become more used to this.

Jumin’s hand trailed between my shoulder blades and down my spine as he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. His movements were always slow and languid. He’d developed a habit of turning me on and leaving me wanting and missing him until he returned home, teasing messages sent between us throughout the day, but he was always a perfect gentleman somehow. It was a strange thing to be thinking about something like sex and yet still appear as pristine and pure as he did.

“Are you sure you can’t hire someone to fill in for you, just for today?” I asked every morning and Jumin always chuckled, his gray eyes lighting up. “I’m afraid not, my love, but I’ll be home as soon as I’m able to come back to my wife waiting for me with open arms.” He pushed himself up now and gently brushed his hand over my forehead, checking for any sign of heat. “Are you feeling alright?”

Another of our daily routines. We weren’t actively trying for a child, just letting it happen, but Jumin still wanted to be sure of how I was feeling. I nodded and he nodded in return, getting up from the bed to start getting dressed. Watching him from the bed was a wonderful experience, the way his well-toned muscles rippled as he pulled on item after item. My favorite part was watching him tie his tie, such a quick and seemingly elegant motion rather than a series of steps. Again, he would come to brush a kiss against my lips before he left, going down the elevator to meet Driver Kim in front of his building.

I had pushed up onto my elbows but now flopped down onto the bed with a huff. Reality was, I was starting to feel ill, but not in the way he was asking. My period was on its way, I was rather sure of it. Still, our daily routine would continue as it was. It was boring, though, without the party to manage, I had nothing else to do. Most of my time was spent talking to the others on the messenger and working on a large puzzle my husband had purchased special for me, a large print out of our wedding photo. This still became tedious. What I really wanted was something to keep me well and truly occupied, but if I got pregnant soon, then the pitter patter of little feet would do that for me, wouldn’t it?

My thoughts were interrupted by a phone call, which I picked up immediately. It was always good to hear someone’s voice. I loved Elizabeth 3rd of course, but her soft mewls as she brushed against my legs weren’t good conversation. I hadn’t even bothered to check the caller ID and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the voice of my father-in-law. “Hello, MC. It’s Mr. Chairman.”

What could he possibly want to talk to me about? Since we had met on the night of the party, I had had little to no involvement with him other than at our wedding and that was still mostly greeting and speeches. On occasion, I would see him in passing at Jumin’s office, sending him a smile and a small wave which he always heartily returned, but never a phone call. “Ah, hello, father. I wasn’t expecting a call from you today, what an honor.” That sounded oddly formal, but I wasn’t sure what else to say really. My heart and mind were both racing and coming up with anything and everything as a reason for his call.

“I am sending Jumin away on a business trip for two to three weeks to negotiate a deal. I was wondering if you might be interested in spending some time with me at my home while he is away, just so you won’t be lonely there with his cat.” Two to three weeks? That was far too long without my husband! To top that off…why would he invite me to his home? I shook my head at myself. Really, my father-in-law was just being polite, although I wished he could send someone else on the trip I knew better than to press the issue. It would be better to share those feelings with my husband. “I appreciate the invitation. Elizabeth 3rd and I would be happy to stay.”

Our routine had been interrupted, but in many ways, it stayed the same. Jumin would call me every morning despite the time difference, asking me how I was feeling and telling me to have a wonderful day. Every chance we got, we were on the phone together, to the point where my father-in-law would often give me strange looks when he passed me in the courtyard on the phone. I would simply wave as always.

He seemed to be running into me in the hallways more and more by the second week, somewhat of a discomfort, and at one point had grabbed my wrist earning him a quizzical look causing him to release me and chuckle. “No worries, continue about your day.” It was starting to get under my skin, but there should only be a little time before Jumin came home. Still, it was odd. What bothered me most was really that I wasn’t allowed to know what country Jumin was in, only his time-zone, so perhaps my husband was in a more dangerous country? Or was it just business secrets?

I was starting to feel horribly ill in the mornings, but I guessed it was simply a matter of my nerves. My period had come and gone, much lighter than usual, which I chalked up to stress, nothing was really out of the ordinary except my husband being an ocean away. I had changed into one of my nightgowns, all hand-picked by my husband, a black silk that brushed against my skin in ways that reminded me of his delicate touch. As I was laying back on my pillows and innocently day-dreaming of my husband, my phone started to buzz and I picked it up to find that it was him. “Darling!”

The eagerness in my voice made my husband chuckle. It was such a glorious sound, his low tones in a soft laugh that melted my heart. “Hello my love. I missed you today. How are you and Elizabeth 3rd doing?” Of course, he missed me, and we spent some time talking before he asked me what I was doing, his voice seemingly as silky as the nightgown which slid over my skin as I rolled over onto my back, looking up at the canopy over the bed. “I’m lying in bed, wishing you were here.” It hadn’t sounded dirty until I actually verbalized it and my face heated beyond belief, particularly when I heard the little intake of breath and the way a soft hum slipped into his tone. “Are you wearing one of your nightgowns? Show me.”

It was a command, certainly not a question, and it was a command that sent heat instantly to that spot low in my body the way only he could do, with so few words or actions. I was powerless to refuse, not that he would have done anything to me if I had, but simply knowing how much he was probably anticipating it, how he was likely already starting to daydream of me the way I had been doing of him, it was a heady aphrodisiac. As quickly as I could, I decided on a few pictures and sent them his way, practically able to hear the smirk on his face as he appreciated them, that soft hum audible only all the more. “I really miss my wife…”

A loud knocking sound reverberated throughout the room, but not mine, his. It wasn’t so strange, it would be morning where he was, but the loud shouting that accompanied it as Jumin called back. “I am on the phone, what could be so important that you would disturb me?” This was followed by the line going dead.

Was it some important business matter? Any heat that had been present evaporated almost instantly into cold as my stomach seemed to become a pit and nausea hit me hard. What was so important? His bodyguards never behaved that way unless something was wrong. Elizabeth 3rd’s mewling from the other room sounded like crying to me. All further attempts to message my husband were met with silence, any attempts at calls went straight to voicemail, and he always picked up for my calls. Where was my husband and why wasn’t he answering me?

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron. ~Let’s Connect! FFC

#jumin x mc #jumin han #mystic messenger fanfiction #mystic messenger #juminxmc #jumin mystic messenger

5 notes · View notes

zentheatrics-blog · 8 years ago

Text

The Details:

No Country for Old Men (2007)

By Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin

The Journey without a Goal

Welcome! I am trying a new sch-

~Tedsters closes fridge loudly~ Sorry!

It is okay. I will start again. So! I am trying a new-

~Tedsters loudly rubs jelly on his bread~ Sooo… sorry…

Dude?! How in the world do you spread jam soooo loudly…

~Spreads peanut butter loudly~

Whatever… This looks bad… New Heading!

The Truer Journey… blah blah… with stuff… whatever…

Welcome! Like the extra space? Makes it seem more professional! It is like, “Oh he means business now with an extra space!” Anyways… I have a very interesting analysis for you guys today. I apologize for the late post, but I will get back on track. There will be blood… and rod shooting guns… but mostly thought. Very thoughtful... um... thought!

In all seriousness, I enjoyed watching another great Coen movie. This one is about a psychic... kinda psychic? psychotic man who has an awesome bit of hair, dead eyes, and a killer rod air gun thing. He chases after a man who steals money from a drug deal that went awry, while Tommy Lee Jones plays a reflective sheriff.

Now when I first watched this movie, it was closer to 2007 instead of 2017. I liked it for the suspenseful action, the thought that went into the cat and mouse game, and for Tommy Lee Jones. Yet at the time I didn’t really consider a greater meaning to the story.

Upon watching it ten years later, I actually ended up in the same spot again. Tedsters! Don’t start. I see your glares! Anyways, yes my groovy audience, I ended up confused again at the ending. With all the chasing and all the killing, I found the retired sheriff simply looking back on two dreams a bit empty. But I was uneducated, and with that let us dive into a bigger philosophical concept that I haven’t considered in cinema.

A Plot-less Plot

So with Fifty Shades, we mentioned the concept of gimmicks within a film. This movie, being one full of intriguing gimmicks, follows the same build many other movies have. A beginning, a conflict, a climax, and a resolution. When I took film analysis-

~Tedsters cough~ Tryin’ to sound smart I see ~Continues to sit back and listens~

Ah hem… Anyways. I remember reading in my film book about how The Wizard of Oz was used to understand concepts that are seen in other movies. See, we as the audience are used to a story that begins, shows an obstacle, resolved it through the end of a climax (not dirty), and sums things up. But it is far more than that.

Think of space. The vastness of everything up there. Most of us can’t truly understand infinity. The Wizard of Oz is finite. It ends with an ending that is tied up. It satisfies our need for closure and resolution, while also being entertaining. It has plot development and character development that ends up finishing its overall goal at the end. Most films follow this. It plays on humans desire for completion. We see this in real life where ever we look. If a friend is hurting, you may go up to them to comfort them. After they appear to feel better, you may go check on them to see if they are still happy. The lack of knowing can be troubling, especially if you are tied into it.

In No Country for Old Men, it follows a lot of the same concepts. Throughout it all, the sheriff has issues understanding the craziness of these crimes. He recalls moments in his past about how things appeared different and uses these moments to attempt to understand the present events. Additionally, when he can’t figure out what is going to happen next in the cat and mouse game he struggles to understand the entire meaning of it.

The truth is, once I finished watching it I was confused. So I decided to break the norm and look at another review about the movie. I vow not to stop my search for knowledge, even when an obstacle appears to me. Since I don’t do a lot of outside research (which may change) when I write these reviews, I feel that I needed to for this film. So with that in mind, what did I discover?

What it kinda, sorta means…

When the sheriff reads the newspaper about a grisly murder, he wonders how such a thing could happen. It is in this moment that I realized the greater significance of the sheriff and his reflective nature.

The Sheriff questions how such behavior could happen. Humanity does the same thing. It is when he talks with Ellis that he begins to see the repetitive nature of life, as well as the audience. Ellis remarks on a series of deaths that occurred in the county over during Sheriff Bell’s father’s time. These deaths were unlike anything his dad experienced, but they happened nonetheless. They were prompted with no understandable reason and they ended without must information as to why. Sometimes information was given to the origin, but mostly the middle part of the story was revealed. This point entirely marks the meaning of this movie.

Really? How? I don’t understand! How can a plot be plot-less?

Well my skeptical friend, it is because the plot deals with the concept of not knowing the end. Since we are presented with a cat and mouse movie, we want to know who wins as well as any loose ends being tied up. The mouse is more than likely dead. As for the cat, he is left injured and the observing sheriff is left with only tidbits of information. This lack of knowing is what occurs in real life, except unlike in real life most people see movies as a medium that comes to a clear conclusion.

This movie gives us a section of a story that when it ends it doesn’t tie everything up with a nice bow. So why do some people get confused by this?

Movie Psychology

We like tied up things (def... not meant to be taken bad). This concept ties into our need for things to be understood and labeled. Like in a song, it follows an order of progression that reaches a climax and concludes with an ending. The vastness of space is hard to fully understand because it defies this concept. If it was finite, like a cardboard box, it would be easily understood. Yet, our own world is not as vast as space. It is definitely complex and definitely open ended, but there are things that are tied down. Look around you, fellow reader, and see what we label and what we try to understand. It is truly amazing how often we try to explain what happens to us. We conclude on things by how we analyze cause and effect. Person A is bad, because they did a bad action. The truth is, this is oversimplifying things greatly. Person A may have had to do a bad action for an ultimately positive outcome. When we know of this fact, we just adjust our interpretation of Person A. The ultimate issue is that in the real world we may not always have this information.

With this movie, that is what happens. We are, in a way, the sheriff. We are the outsider, the observer, watching tidbits of information where the majority of it is simply shrouded in mystery and misdirection. What the sheriff is able to observe and process happens mostly after the fact and even though we see it in real time, we are ultimately limited as well. It is true that we see things that we wouldn’t probably see if we were truly in the sheriff’s shoes, but most of this information would have been printed in the newspaper. The few times we see things that we weren’t normally acquire in our daily lives are simply there to move the story along, such as the stolen money being stored in the vents.

So are we the sheriff? I say no. I feel that we, the audience, are two things. 1) We go along with the sheriff. We learn what he learns and observe from a large distance. Like the newspaper reading scene, we are learning tidbits of information. This is why some people (like me) may become lost at the end of the film for we are looking for more meaning out of it. And, 2) We are also able to transcend this state and see things we weren’t normally able to see. This knowledge ultimately becomes limited at the end. This step is what the audience typically is. We see information that moves the story a long.

The Switch

Throughout the film, we switch between seeing the limited range of knowledge similar to the sheriff and the state of being the all-seeing audience member. The latter state, as mentioned before, is the typical state an audience member is in when observing any film. We are presented information that is being viewed and not much thought is put upon us.

So to recap I will do a quick bullet point version:

- Like when reading a newspaper story, we are given a section of a drug deal gone wrong and the effects of it.

- We don’t truly know the cause of it or what started it.

- We see some of the “backstory” of the welder, as well as his actions. He tells his love interest to leave, so that she can be safe.

- The cat and mouse game begins. The sheriff observes the chase, but is only able to acquire tidbits of information. Most of what he knows that we see would be written in a newspaper article.

- By the end, we are left unaware of what happens to the villain. He gets away. In a newspaper article, we may not always know what happens or even the fact that he broke his arm. We lose our ability to be all-seeing and ultimately become more of what the sheriff is.

- The sheriff is someone who processes everything that occurred, but ultimately is limited to being a distant observer. He tries to label and understand what he sees both in the chase and in life, which allows him the peace of mind of acknowledging his own limited range of knowledge.

So the switch happens at the end. We lose our ability to know everything like a typical movie would allow an audience member to experience. The sheriff learns this lesson, which is why his second dream features his father showing him the light through the darkness. More than likely, his father went through the same thing that his son experienced. The realization that the world is disorganized and even though we as humanity will continue to label what we can, some stuff will just be confusing and unknowable. Some stuff will be left unfinished or feel incomplete, no matter how much we desire things to be solved and finished. This acceptance of our own humanity is the fire that his father showed him in his dream. It is a difficult lesson to accept, because humanity will continue to look for the causes and effects whenever we can. We like to know things or at least slightly understand them how things started. If it is too vast, we either learn more about how large it is or simply pass is by.

We know that the psychopath is bad, because of how he acts and hurts people. We know that corruption exists when we see Woody Harrelson being a secretive businessman that personally knows Anton. Yet we don’t know Anton’s true motives or why Woody Harrelson acts the way he does. For me, Woody Harrelson’s character came into the story as quick as he dies and like a fleeting moment he vanishes from my thought. We don’t truly know his backstory or motives, and more than likely a person reading the cat and mouse newspaper story would never learn of his character.

The Overall Stance

I like this movie. I like it a lot, because it challenges the norms of plot development. The story causes a twist in the stomach… or minds… of the audience by making things left untied. It is full of suspense and the action sequences are great. They don’t have a lot of quick cuts, which is nice. They are direct, grotesque at key times, and full of eager possibilities.

The reflective sheriff is what I like the most upon continued reflection. These thoughts are important to consider. Things in the real world are tough to categorize, yet people often still try. There is nothing wrong with that, however knowing our own limitations are important. We can’t always see every outcome and that is okay.

To be honest, I don’t know what to grade this movie entirely. It challenges the norms and deals with a subjective concept. I feel satisfied with four stars out of five, however I feel that it is worth watching and judging for yourself. I recommend watching other movies first then coming to this one so you can see how the plot behaves the way it does in this film.

Thanks groovy audience! Next review will be Tedsters! He has been hard at work drinking Coke and contemplating!

Peace and love!

1 note · View note

northpolenotes · 6 years ago

Text

HUGE Mistakes I Made My First Year Blogging

This post contains affiliate links. This means I receive a small commission (at no extra cost to you) if you purchase using them. Please read my Disclaimer Policy for more information.

Are you feeling frustrated, tired, confused with tech overwhelm, and getting absolutely nowhere? I’ve been exactly where you are right now. That is how I spent my first year of blogging. Yelling at the computer, googling problems that no one else seemed to be experiencing, and feeling completely lost.

Are you struggling to come up with content? Or do you find yourself creating great pieces of content that you KNOW someone would benefit from, but your words are falling on deaf ears? Been there too.

Blogging is simple, yet complicated. You hear about all these people who are making thousands of dollars per month blogging and getting millions subscribers, yet no one seems to want to share HOW they’ve made their success.

That’s what I thought too until I found Create and Go with Alex Nerney and Lauren McManus.

After completing their course, relaunching my blog, and finally getting traffic on Pinterest, I found out EXACTLY what I was doing wrong on The Enchanted Aunt.

To prevent you from making the same mistakes that I did my first year blogging, I thought it would be helpful to share with you exactly what I did wrong. Stop what you’re doing now and read through this massive list of mistakes. Create a successful blog and build something from nothing by learning what NOT to do.

Here are the HUGE mistakes I made my first year blogging.

1.) I went with a free theme

Everyone wants something for nothing right? I did too. I wasn’t ready to take blogging seriously at first. Actually, I wanted to take it seriously but at the lowest possible cost.

What cost does that sound like? FREE!

What was the outcome? Frustration!

Here’s the thing about free themes. They’re great if you want to blog for as a hobby, but they’re not a good idea if you want to create a blog that’s fully customizable and that operates with the greatest amount of ease.

Say I just gave you a house, no holds barred. This is your house to raise your family in, rest your head at night, and to do with it as you please. Sounds great, right? A house for free?

What’s the catch? It was built 80 years ago, the appliances aren’t up to code and could catch fire at any time, and the taxes haven’t be paid on it in the last 10 years.

That’s an extreme example of what it’s like to operate your blog with a free theme. Unless you know how to code and fix problems to get things up to speed with current technology, free isn’t always the way to go. Rather than solving your problem, it leads to more headaches.

You won’t find much support on how to customize them because no one wants to work for free. Trust me, I looked.

The solution?

I ditched my free theme. After reading about different themes and asking other bloggers, I decided to go with Divi from Elegant Themes. It was the one that was the most popular because of how easy it was to use. I was told it’s very customizable and that you don’t need to know coding. They weren’t wrong. That’s exactly what it is.

Not only is it extremely easy to use, but it also comes with a lot of support from it’s developers. Support is exactly what I needed in the beginning.

2.) I tried learning how to blog from Google

Google is great for getting answers to very specific questions. However, what I wanted was broader. Asking google how to start a blog gave me the very basics on how to blog like creating a domain, setting up hosting, and picking a platform to create the blog on. That’s not what I needed because I already had all of that. What I needed was a teacher to show me how to create a decent looking blog and get people to read it.

There’s a lot that goes into building a blog and so Google wasn’t giving me what I needed this time. I’d find one helpful article which then led me to google other things and so on and so on. Around and around I went looking for answers. It wasn’t the best approach.

3.) I turned to Udemy for mentors

Since Google wasn’t cutting it, I took another cheap approach by buying a $30 course on Udemy for how to start a blog.

It sounded great since they were offering the course at such a low discount, but the results didn’t yield the same effect. I will say that I did learn from the instructor on the basics of the backend of blogging. However, a lot of his information was outdated.

The trouble with buying deeply discounted courses and turning to YouTube and Google is that the information isn’t necessarily up to date. Also, though I had an instructor walking me through the steps, there wasn’t a place where I could raise my hand and ask a question about something that he just went over.

Dare I say I got what I paid for?

4.) I used Facebook for traffic

This is where everyone gets all of their information from nowadays right? So since I got just enough information from Google and Udemy that I could start blogging, I did just that.

I’d write a post, post it on Facebook, and it would be seen by maybe 4 people. If I didn’t post it at a time when people were most active, it wouldn’t show up in anyone’s feed. Also, it’s a one and done situation. Since Facebook isn’t a search engine, people weren’t looking for the content I was creating.

The other option was to take out ads. However, there’s a lot that goes into that and I knew I’d be wasting my money if I just set a budget and entered my credit card number. So that option was off the table too.

Facebook is not the best place to share content because of how the algorithm is set up. Sure, it’s a good idea to share your content with friends and family. Don’t stop doing that! However, even today, of the 2,000+ (and growing) visitors I get each month, 44 were sent there because of Facebook.

The Solution?

Where do I get nearly all of my traffic from? Pinterest. I used the system laid out in the Pinterest Traffic Avalanche course from Create and Go. They taught me the basics of Pinterest SEO, and I applied their methods to my blog and got results! The BEST thing about their course is it’s UPDATED constantly to reflect the new changes in the algorithms.

5.) I was soooo slow

There was very little content on my blog during the first year. I struggled to find the time to sit down and write. On top of that, once I did create a schedule for myself, I’d overthink everything and got nowhere. I was averaging one post per month. It was taking me that long just to think of, create, and edit content.

Don’t be me. If you want to get results, throw perfection out the window and just start writing. The only way you’re going to find your voice is if you start using it.

There are plenty of free tools like Grammarly or Yoast that’ll help you with spotting typos and offering insight into the readability ease. It’s possible to make mistakes even with these tools, but that’s okay. If can always go back and correct your errors. You’re human. It happens.

6.) I had 0 confidence in myself

Since I had been blogging for a few months and wasn’t seeing results, I was deflated. I didn’t think that anyone cared about what I had to say.

Also, I was embarrassed by the look of my blog. Do you want people to come to your house when it looks like you haven’t lifted a finger to maintain it? That’s how I felt about my blog. My free theme was preventing me from having a clean layout. It was scattered and ugly.

7.) I made it about ME instead of about my audience

I honestly didn’t know why people blogged in the first place. My original thoughts were that it was an online journal for people to cry into. I was wrong.

Tons of people told me to start blogging because I wanted to launch an online product. So I started out by just telling stories about my life as an Aunt because that was my only expertise. However, no one cared about my stories. Like most people, they wanted to know HOW to do something. They wanted to know how to achieve the same results. I was missing my mark.

People read blogs because they’re looking for help. They want to learn from others that are in the same spot as them. If you know a lot about a topic, you could become an expert in that field just from your blog.

8.) I didn’t invest in a course

I did buy the $30 Udemy course, but I don’t think it really counts. I’m not saying that because of the price. However, I am saying it because of how thin the material in it was. It was the bare bones of what you needed to know about blogging. I had something, but I didn’t know how to use it.

I also relied a lot on YouTube, which I love but it was the Swiss cheese of blogging tips. There’s a lot of hole in the content out there.

9.) I didn’t trust anyone’s advice

I kept trying new things that I was hearing from other people on YouTube and from reading other people’s blogs on blogging, but it was a lot of fluff. No one was being flat out honest about results. No one took screenshots of their success. There were just too many scam artists out there to really trust anything. It led me not to trust.

However, I found Alex and Lauren’s YouTube Channel about a year into blogging and that’s when I started making real changes. They earned my trust through their transparency. The information that they put out there spoke to me. I found that I could learn from the people that were actually in my spot at one point. That’s why I ultimately invested in their Six figure blogging course.

10.) I didn’t use Pinterest the way it’s intended.

After I had watched a few of Alex’s YouTube videos on Pinterset I thought that I knew all there was to know about Pinterest. Boy, was I wrong.

I didn’t know about the importance of SEO on Pinterest, what group boards were, or why it was so important to continually create and share other people’s content.

I was getting some readers from Pinterest. In fact, nearly all of them came from there, but it was only 1-10 per day. There’s a lot that goes into building a following. You can read my view of Pinterest Traffic Avalanche to learn more.

11.) I compared myself to EVERYONE

Since I was learning from others, I was comparing myself to others. Don’t do that.

It’s important to remember that everyone starts at the bottom and knows nothing, but eventually you find your way. Comparing your results to a veteran blogger won’t lead to success. You’ll start to get frustrated that you’re not already where they are 1 week into blogging.

12. I didn’t treat it like a business

A business needs to be tended to. It needs to be worked out continuously in order to get ahead. Success doesn’t happen overnight. And if it does, it’s because hard work was put into which lead to that turning point. You can’t publish one post, insert one affiliate link, and think you’ll see any results.

You have to shift your mindset and treat your blog like it’s a living thing in order for it to grow and prosper. You have experiment with different content, wait for results, analyze your efforts, and make adjustments accordingly. Hardly anyone gets it right the first time.

Even though I know now that the choices that I was making were mistakes, I still learned a lot in the process. Yes, I could have saved myself a lot of time and energy if I had just invested in a course earlier, but I realize that the knowledge that I acquired from my mistakes will help someone else.

If you fall into any of the following categories:

Want to start a blog but don’t know what to blog about

Want to start a blog but don’t have any technical experience

Have already started blogging, but are struggling with traffic

Have traffic, but are looking to build a greater audience

Have a great blog, good traffic, but aren’t sure how to monetize

Have a successful blog, but don’t know how to create and sell your own products

You should invest in one of the many courses from Create and Go.

With the help of Lauren and Alex, I have successfully rebuilt and relaunched my blog, started gaining significant traffic, viewership and subscribers, made affiliate sales, and now I’m onto relaunching my own product with them.

I realize that I could have gotten to where I am now faster had I invested in the beginning, but hopefully, my mistakes will help you build, launch, and monetize your blog faster and with greater ease.

I am now an affiliate for them not because I earn a small commission (at NO extra cost to you), but because they have truly helped me. Much like you, I was struggling to move forward and spread my messages, but after completing their courses, I have grown tremendously in a very short period of time.

Please feel free to reach out to me if there are any additional questions. about my experience with Create and Go.

[contact-form-7]

The post HUGE Mistakes I Made My First Year Blogging appeared first on .

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2UpWUtm via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

chapterxxv · 7 years ago

Text

53-minute catch up

Saturday: my planned Valentine’s day celebration for myself. Was a super success. Sleep-deprived but easy drive to Chicago (satisfying my recent desire to drive fast, blast my music, and feel the wind in my face because of the temporarily-improved weather, though my windows stayed down this morning.) Picked up Oscar for breakfast at a fancy, delicious place (Stax Cafe) and he bought me and Kelly flowers! <3 he insisted on buying breakfast (tried lavender lemon pancakes!--not bad.) And our conversation was just what I needed. (I was already leaning towards not bringing Kelly because last time she kept talking about herself so I didn’t get to connect with Oscar, and this week, she was already very much immersed in her own world--not a great sign. The unfortunate circumstances (working back-to-back and then spending the day after her shift taking care of Ethan at the hospital after he attempted suicide D:) prevented her from joining.) I really needed someone impartial and collected to hear me out on my career-life choices, so Oscar and I discussed this big aspect in my life pretty much the entire time. And when I shared about struggling with not reaching out to Eric, he was the sweetest, offering I message him instead and he will buy me shit haha. He even offered to buy me a flight to CA. It was a shared conversation--hearing about his work/life experiences and choices and reasoning and aspirations. I also really need to get my headspace out of just me, me, me. And it was perfect. To get to just be and share yourself, understanding there is no comparison to be made. Just to care for one another. Oscar, I don’t think you know how much you provide for me. Thank you. After breakfast, I went to DSW since I’ve been wanting a pair of booties (they’re a staple in any place where you can’t just wear flip-flops all year round xD) ever since borrowing Kelly’s suuuper cute pair! Well, I didn’t find exactly what I wanted. But I left with a very comfortable--Dr. Scholl’s--pair for everyday and a sexier, thin-heeled pair for going out! Then I went to pick up Kelly; got to see Ethan in passing. His face showed signs of asphyxiation and when I asked what happened, he said that his friend choked him and it was a long story and he would tell me the whole thing when I got back. Later Kelly explained that Ethan was being bullied at school and had a suicidal ideation and attempted to jump out of his window and his friend caught him in a headlock--hence the asphyxiation. Kelly and I went to my tattoo appointment with Emily at Metamorph. I enjoy her work and my first thought upon meeting her was she’s cute. I know I wasn’t the easiest client but she was fantastic in making suggestions, getting to understand what I was looking for, and ultimately executing it. I love my tat. Then Kelly and I hung out next door at Wormhole Coffee until our nail appointment. Our wait there was tedious but my nail tech was nice--clearly very busy, running the show, one of the better techs, and relatively-conversational. I am also really enjoying how my nails look. It started snowing, so I dropped Kelly off and got to partake in many warm hugs with Serina and Kelly before taking off. They’re just practically family to me and I love them. I am so fortunate. Driving home was rough with the weather, extra-dumb drivers, and the exhaustion hitting hardcore. I made it home and decided against going out to the guys’ birthday bash (I really miss them and it would’ve been super fun), and instead went to bed before 9pm. I needed this. It was excellent. No regrets.

Thursday: sucked ass. Chronologically, things started going downhill fast the night before. V-day was fine, I was happy to be single for once and enjoyed the experience--almost valuing the holiday more than usual. But as evening rolls around, somehow I get this intense impulse to message Eric. Well, I think this when I last posted. So you get the gist. It sucked. I couldn’t fall asleep until midnight because I was emotionally distressed. So Thursday started off with physical and emotional fatigue. Morning was fine but off-routine. I got my oil changed and attended a faculty candidate talk. Sayan messaged me midday to say he couldn’t make our regular meeting Friday, so we agreed to meet around 2ish. He was late. While waiting for him, I was chatting with Beef and Jenifer. Beef invited me to join him and Will for a Udacity ML course. I was down but wanted to make sure it wasn’t something requiring a commitment. His response was terrible. It was harsh, and I confronted him about it. He never owned up nor seemed to really hear me out nor respect/take seriously my feelings and values here. I will attach the conversation later. Sayan showed up at almost 3pm, even though I told him I had something at 3pm. He had a lot to say too. And early on he slipped into “You should stay this summer, I know you’re looking at internships.” I was going to bring this up eventually but we were talking about research, and so I told him about Aerospace. Then it went into a longer discussion. And then back to research, bigger picture type stuff. So it was heavy, stressful, and a lot of pushback involved. I ran out of that around 3:15. To meet with a postdoc at Hammerhead. I felt so bad for being this late to meet with a stranger and thought he gave up on waiting when I got there and he was nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes. I thought we’d talk about research ideas. But he kept asking career-related questions that were more personal and never went into any detail about his work. I also felt bad because I had a meeting at 3:45pm for CSLSC (which was only 15 min early per my suggestion because I couldn’t stay for the entire 4pm meeting because I was meeting Meredith at 4:30pm.) Needless to say, I was late for CSLSC. While walking back to CSL with postdoc, he asked to get dinner and hangout and I gave him the benefit of the doubt, saying I’d be open to that but definitely not anytime soon because I’m too busy. And he caught me off guard asking if I had a boyfriend or something. *facepalm* I’m ashamed I choked out a funny yes. But I did follow up saying, I’d be down to hangout but as colleagues. Him: “okay great, yes, as friends” *facepalm* At CSLSC meeting, things quickly escalated between James and I (probably in 5minutes?). He snapped at me, “you don’t need to tell me all the things you’re not going to do.” He shouldn’t have been angry but I acknowledge I was not delivering my no’s well either. I allowed my growing frustration/annoyance with the team to taint my professionalism. I was still right to make clear my needs and my availability--it is unfair to be given work so last minute and unorganized requests and flip-flopping requests frequently, and I am too busy to accommodate all of this. I did a poor job of trying to ask them to collect all the info at once so I could take care of it more efficiently/effectively. But like I said, it escalated quickly. A few minutes later (after he and Tarek just asked me to change something, I did it, only to get the other one saying they wanted it the other way <-- prime example of the BS I have to deal with), in pointing this out, James basically yelled at me (at this point in front of a dozen other people) that yes things are stressful and constantly changing, the conference is NEXT WEEK, we’re all stressed, can you handle this Nicole? Can you do this? Yeah. I wanted to slap him, say fuck you I’m done with your bullshit, and walk out. I took a couple seconds to stay calm, look him dead in the eyes, and say yes. I can. I will get this done. And I will, I will work out this upcoming week. Then I fast-walked to Bene to meet Meredith. Of course she wanted to talk about us taking over GradSWE/weSTEM next year. It was fine. It was the last thing I wanted to think about or commit too. I told her the stance I had already developed. We walked to Galentine’s together. I didn’t really want to go anymore after feeling so shitty. But I did and fortunately it was just us and Steph and she brought soooo many deliciousss goodies. I stuffed my face with 2 plates full of sugar. I was fine with staying because I didn’t have to put up a fake wall. Meredith left for SWE GM, and it was just us and Sam and Megan. Also supes chill. They gently opened up the space to vent--which I desperately needed and was looking for already. I ended up crying when I described the CSLSC meeting. Fucking hell. But sooooo grateful for them listening and then comforting me and then sharing their own views/experiences. And then eventually talking about other people again--thank God. Again I don’t want to focus on me all the fucking time. I went to the gym after that and felt a little better. Spencer was kind enough to offer an ear to listen. I ended up meeting up with him and his friends at Barrelhouse for Hannah’s birthday (saw Steph again there--more cupcakes!) So I didn’t get to bed until nearly midnight again. Emil also texted me that Brian shared I was having a hard day and wanted to make sure I was okay. Thanks friends <3

0 notes

slo-heart · 7 years ago

Text

i know its a little hokey, but im gonna start keeping a gratitude journal here. no one has a tumblr anymore but to the five of you who still do and follow me, i hope it’s nice to come across every once in a while.

for context, and to just show all my cards from the get go, the combination of being in a totally different world/city/industry/social life, being less financially secure than my last career, recently getting out of a friendship that eroded my mental health due to significant differences in life outlooks and values and emotional stability needs, and being in an industry that at its worst is super focused on a certain ‘look’ and size in the people that it ‘values’ most, really has ground me down in certain ways. what used to be a consistent practice of self love was turned into self hate.

cw below: ED

additionally, and in the spirit of tumblr-oversharing, i developed a really inconsistent and unhealthy relationship to food, using it both as a proxy for emotional healing and security by overeating* and then punishing myself for overeating by skipping meals or banning certain foods that i labeled ‘bad’ but with no larger reason or value attached to them (ex: im still mostly vegan but i have a whole philosophy around that and i enjoy eating that way and i don’t think non-vegan foods are inherently bad nor do i judge anyone who is not a vegan, and im NOT doing it to punish myself. whereas when i banned all sugar or bread it was solely to punish myself). rebuilding a healthy relationship with food is perhaps one of the hardest things i’ve ever done, and am still doing. to have one of my most basic functions as a human being, EATING, which i had taken for granted, suddenly made suspect (“am i REALLY hungry right now? is this just stress-hunger or emotional-hunger? is it ok for me to be craving something? am i full now? i literally can’t tell.”) is one of the scariest things my mind has ever done.

*overeating -- eating past my personal feeling of fullness to the point of pain.

anyway, obviously i still have a lot to unpack and heal from, and im hoping this fresh dedication to a gratitude practice, what was once a consistent part of my life, will help me get back on track to feeling my old security and confidence in self. yay!

gratitude december 20:

this warm clean bed with new sheets and soft pillows

making the decision to move to LA which was the hardest thing i’ve ever done, but also was so much easier than i had thought! i was so brave and finally trusted my intuition and it paid off. i have met so many amazing people and have had so many great opportunities here, and have learned soooo much about myself!

meeting JO who is such a force and amazing person and believes in my writing and screenplay. at coffee she literally said “if this movie doesn’t get made it’s because we haven’t shown it to the right people yet” and then mentioned getting ellen page on the project.... which i have full faith she could do!

my ability to say goodbye to relationships that are not adding value to my life, even when it is difficult

the fact that i went to pony sweat and caleb recognized me and was so sweet to me and even though being there brought up a lot of pointy thoughts about myself and my body, i did the whole routine and tried my hardest to not compare myself to anyone there

learning that i need a little bit more fuel for my body before doing intense cardio like that! im relearning my limits, upper and lower, for food and what my body actually needs

learning that when i feel satiated, my mood is better and i don’t crave things that aren’t good for me! ‘good for me’ meaning foods that don’t make my body feel bad after i eat them -- for ex: i don’t feel great after eating a ton of sugar all at once, but i also found that i don’t feel great after eating peanut butter or hummus (which are foods i used to love but after being slow and deliberate with listening to my body, i’ve found that i don’t crave much anymore because i know they make me feel not great)

organizing my room and leaving it in a good way for E and her bf to stay over for NYE

finding that suitcase in the closet that i totally forgot i got from B&S! exactly what i needed for my trip and i was worried i’d have to check an extra bag but now i don’t

honestly, thankful that “insecure” wasn’t working on hbo because otherwise i would have watched more, and im happy im instead using that time to write down what im thankful for

impromptu game night and hearing everyone say they loved ‘codenames’ which is a game that i bought in portland after much deliberation and with the hope that buying it would be an investment in a future me who would host game nights because to me game nights are times when yr friends can come together, they don’t have to dress up or feel lots of social pressure, we can enjoy snacks or home cooked food, and relax and laugh a lot

having a haircut appointment on the 28th with eric, my dude in pdx

E saying they would be down for PAM’s $5 night on Friday!

my parents setting aside my stored winter sweaters so i can enjoy them when im in the cold in pdx! so sweet for them to get them out of the storage closet and bring them to breakfast tomorrow for me

having sweaters in portland so i don’t have to carry a bunch in my suitcase

my breakthrough about fear and finishing projects -- i need to just have the simple faith in myself that i will do a good job, don’t worry about perfection, and completing the project is a miracle in itself, just put in the time!

my ability to be optimistic about humans, and to give people second chances, and also my ability to know how much of myself im willing to give for the second chance. and im thankful i know when i don’t want to be a part of their third chance but can still be happy that they’re getting a third chance

my home in LA, and how our fireplace works, and people enjoy coming over because it feels good, and our huge kitchen, and our back patio, and how close my room is to S’s room

i really like that the only reason im stopping this list now is not because i’ve run out of things to be grateful for, but is just because im super tired

0 notes

viralhottopics · 8 years ago

Text

27 Doctors And Nurses Describe The Exact Moment They Realized Their Patient Was An Idiot

1. Put collard greens into her vagina

I had a patient that got a pretty nasty infection and became septic after putting collard greens in her vagina for several days because she thought it would induce an abortion.

2. Thought she had menopause

Not a Doctor, but EMT.

Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn’t be pregnant. She said her last period was “like ten months ago” so she’d gone through menopause.

She was 25.

3. I don’t have diabetes…

“I don’t have diabetes, I take medicine for that.” – happens so often I cant put a face to that quote.

4. The oatmeal lady

A woman comes in after having a baby and tells us she’s having trouble breastfeeding. I book her an appointment at a breastfeeding clinic, give her some resources, etc. Her appointment was fine and she went on her merry way. A few weeks later, we get the fax that she went to the breastfeeding clinic and everything was fine. Awesome.

A year later she shows up for her doctor’s appointment, and she’s obese. She must have put 100lbs on an already obese frame. She’s developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. Of course.) She tells us she’s never been more active after having a kid, her diet hasn’t changed, her work life hasn’t changed, nothing has changed, the weight gain just happened due to ~hormones. We ask if she’s breastfeeding, she says yes. We ask how she’s getting the extra calories for the breastfeeding, and she tells us the Clinic told her to eat 1-2 bowls of plain oatmeal a day. It worked, so she’s still doing it.

We figure this is how she gained so much weight (she’s probably eating 2 large bowls of oatmeal on top of her meals, with milk, sugar, butter, etc), but the woman she’s eating 1-2 packets of plain oatmeal a day. Nothing on it, nothing added to it. It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it’s plain.

We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. He’s in the room with her a time — much longer than normal. When she comes out of the room, she keeps her head down and walks off, looking angry and embarrassed. The doctor walks up to the nursing table and fills out the chart.

“You never asked what of oatmeal she’s eating”.

Yeah. Turns out she didn’t know plain rolled oats were a thing. She thought the breastfeeding clinic meant plain oatmeal . She was eating an entire of Dad’s oatmeal cookies every single day for a year (basically a ‘bowl or two’ filled with cookies), and could not understand how that was different from oatmeal.

5. She was expecting to lose weight on this diet?

Had a patient who was coming back post lap band for a check up. What we usually do is revise the patient’s weight, etc and ‘tighten’ the band or ‘loosen’ it as needed.

Now the thing to remember is that getting lap band isn’t as easy as just throwing down some money. For six months, the patient must meet with a psychiatrist and a dietitian to understand what they’re getting into and if they can adjust their lifestyles and commit. A goal weight loss target (ex: lose ten pounds) is usually set for the end of the six months to ensure the patient is serious. So after all of this rigorous evaluation, a patient is deemed fit for an operation.

Enter my patient ‘Sylvia’. I checked her chart, BMI before surgery was 40, she was morbidly obese, and now had come in for her first follow up to ascertain if she’d lost any weight. Well, I put her on the scale, calculate, and what do I see? Her BMI was now 45. Perplexed, I asked her to explain her diet to me.

Sylvia- Well I’ve been doing a liquid diet just like you all said

Me- Very good! Can you maybe what you have?

Sylvia- I make smoothies and have them whenever I feel hungry.

Me- So what do you put in your smoothies?

Sylvia- Cake and ice cream.

Me- …..

Yup. She was serious. Somehow it didn’t occur to her that this wouldn’t be healthy. We reversed her band.

6. What was she feeding her baby?

A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the babys bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldnt be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, “Oh that isnt chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!

7. Actually, she wasn’t dying at all

An older lady was brought into the ER barely conscious by her husband. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. She had complained of feeling tingly and having a dry mouth prior to passing out.

The doctor sat the husband down and they did a history. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. In fact she spent the morning cleaning her sons bar, as she often did on a Sunday morning.

Considering her age they took these symptoms very seriously and begun running tests to find the source of her ailments.

The son came in to visit his mother, and on the way he bypassed his bar. He noticed that his mother had helped herself to some of the ‘treats’ prepared the night before.

The son, the apple of his parents eye, had to then explain to his father and the doctor that the treats she had enjoyed were space cakes. And apparently she really enjoyed them as she ate quite a few.

They then had to sit down and tell this elderly lady that she was not dying, and that she was in fact stoned!

Fortunately she was still high enough to see the humour.

8. Her son had a “skull fracture”

A secretary buzzes back to me that there’s a call on line two that needs medical advice. I pick it up and one of our patient’s mother is on the phone having a panic attack. She is hyperventilating into the phone. I asked her if she was alright, thinking maybe she needed an ambulance, and through her breaths and now tears, she starts telling me that she thinks her four year old son has a skull fracture.

I ask if he fell. No.

I ask if he’s conscious. Yes.

I ask if he’s breathing. Yes.

I ask if he is bleeding from his ears, eyes, nose, mouth, scalp. No.

I ask if there is any visible wound. No.

I ask why she thinks he fractured his skull. Because underneath his eyes is red and puffy and Google says that’s a skull fracture.

I tell her to go to the ER for proper assessment (we don’t do MRIs, X-rays, CT Scans). She doesn’t want to. She says she was supposed to take her kids to the beach. Mind you, she is still crying and breathing heavy at this point. I tell her to come right over then but warned her we would probably have to send her to the ER.

She shows up 15 minutes later, cradling the child and crying. The little boy was crying too and screaming “I don’t want to die Mommy!” She kept hushing him and saying “Mommy loves her strong boy, no matter what!” Which only made him cry harder.

I pull her back into the room and she just dissolves as she tells me how she looked at him in horror this morning and saw the guarantee signs of a skull fracture. She swears he must have hit his head yesterday at swim practice.

The little boy is crying hard but I can see the noticeable swelling and pinkness under the eyes that she was referring too. I went to get another doctor and told her what I thought. She went in, came out about ten minutes later shaking her head. She had the same diagnosis.

You know when you wipe your eyes after swimming, you usually wipe under your eye too? The kid must have wiped off his sunscreen around his eyes the day before. All the pinkness and puffiness was from a mild sunburn under his eyes.

9. People who go to the vet are stupid too

I don’t have to deal with people patients, but I helped out a vet for a while and there’s a lot of dumb pet owners. Had one lady who was really concerned about her obese lab getting hiccups. The vet let her know the dog was overweight and she told him he was wrong and then insisted we do diagnostic tests to “figure out” the hiccups.

10. He totally does this to himself

I don’t like speaking ill of my patients mainly because I think we all neglect our health to a certain extent volitionally, and that can be viewed as “dumb”.

But the winner is Aristotle*. Aristotle is a 35 year old highly functional corporate lawyer. Aristotle has G6PD deficiency and (in his case) he develops mild hemolysis when exposed to certain foods, including fava beans. Every year for his birthday, Aristotle goes to the fancy Greek restaurant and gets gigandes plaki, his favourite dish. Every year he develops mild hemolysis with mild jaundice and dark urine. Every year he comes to see me, his gastroenterologist, urgently and without an appointment on the day after his birthday — bull-in-china-shopping my clinic, yelling at the secretary and other patients if he could be seen first. Every year he repeats his highly anxious concerns that his liver is screwed up because he’s mildly jaundiced and has dark urine. Every year I tell him it’s from the gigandes plaki. Every year he resolves never to eat it again and is fine for the rest of the year on his G6PD diet.

And every year on his birthday, he forgets. And then the cycle continues.

11. Cure us with ur mind plz

A lot of patients come to the hospital because they are “sick” but refuse to do any tests or take any medicine. Do people expect healthcare workers to do a ritual dance and chant around them and magically heal their illnesses?

12. But seriously

Patient: “Well do I really NEED the chest x-ray and EKG?”

Me: “Well you came here for a cough and chest pain soooo…”

P: “Yes but do I NEED them?”

Me: (thinking) WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME HERE?!

13. She drank acidic water (but said it wasn’t acidic!)

Dentist here. In school I had a 70yr old pt who was still in the dating game and looked like that old lady who just died who played the Jeanie. (I was thinking of Joan Rivers)

She’s got a ton of acid erosion on her teeth. Tells me she drinks on “3-O” water. Didn’t know what was in it. We look it up on Google. That’d be a pH of 3. All of her water. Plus, she likes to put lemons in her water. I tell her this is also acidic. She tells me I’m wrong, because her friend who took a few nutrition classes said that as soon as the lemon juice gets into the body, it turns basic.

I told her I had a biochemistry degree… And that was wrong.

Also, her blood pressure is super high every visit. She tells me that she stopped takin her BP Meds because she thought they were unhealthy. I tell her that he method is not working at all.

A few weeks later, she strokes out and never gets out of a wheel chair again.

I’m friends w/ her on Facebook now. It’s just sad.

14. Greasy hair = diabetes???

Was translating at a medical clinic once. A father brought in his 20-year old son convinced he had early signs of diabetes since his hair was greasy. After convincing the doctor that’s what he was actually there for, we told him to go take a shower and try different shampoo its sad how little some people know about diabetes

15. Wait, which hole is it?

Nurse here.

Recently had a patients wife claim to be a retired nurse. While we were teaching her how to do an in and out catheter on her husband, she asked which hole the pee came out of and which hole the semen came out of.

16. Use the crystals instead

I’m a medical student but the number of patients I’ve seen who refuse to take medicine because they ‘don’t want chemicals’ inside them is staggering

17. Why do the good die young?

I had a woman call 911 once for a body who was supposedly murdered underneath a railroad bridge during a massive music festival. When we got there, it ended being a log with a jacket thrown over it, and a very drunk woman sobbing over said log.

18. She doesn’t want a “child’s disease”

Patient came in with a rash around her mouth; she was going on about how she had it 14 years ago and the dermatologist prescribed a certain antibiotic to cure it and diagnosed her with “perioral dermatitis.” She’s showing us pictures on Google. Okay.

Doctor diagnoses her with impetigo and prescribes her an antibiotic ointment. She leaves and fills the prescription and comes back flipping her shit. She googled impetigo and, with the help of WebMD, came to the conclusion that it was a children’s disorder on the arms and legs that can only be contracted from children and she wasn’t around children. Insists that what she believes she has (perioral dermatitis) is a “woman’s disorder” and she doesn’t have this “children’s disease”. Says that the antibiotic he prescribed isn’t on the list of treatments (thanks WebMD). (It’s on the top of the list actually, of you know, actual medical books, but whatever)

Whole time, she’s showing us these pics off google of “perioral dermatitis” saying it’s a woman’s disorder. Half the pictures were of men. Now one thing you should know, perioral dermatitis means rash around the mouth. That’s it. It doesn’t mean shit. It’s not a type of rash. It’s not only cured by a specific antibiotic. It’s just a rash that happens to be around the mouth. She was furious, shaking with rage and about to start throwing shit bc the doctor wouldn’t prescribe her this certain antibiotic. Doctor told us to call the cops if she came back. People are crazy.

19. He was stung by a bee and fine

I’m a student and my GP supervisor was involved in a scheme to reduce A&E waiting times by having a GP in A&E to take patients that weren’t actually in an accident or an emergency. As none of the patients were actually dangerously ill I was basically doing the consultations with the doctor supervising, double checking and signing prescriptions etc.

A guy in his late 20s walks in, looking very healthy, and sits down. “I was stung by a bee this morning”. “Where?” “On my cheek” “How long ago was this?” “Well it took me about half an hour to get here and then I’ve been waiting another three and a half hours” “Did it stop you swallowing or breathing?” “No.” “Are you allergic?” “No.” “What would you like us to do?” “Check I’m OK.”…

At this point I turn around to my supervisor attempting to say WTF do I do here? He says “You’re OK, go home.”

It was the most surreal consultation I’ve ever had.

20. That’s not how glasses work

Not a doctor but my dad is an opthamologist (eye doctor). He once told me that one of his patients came in utterly confused why the “medicine in his glasses no work anymore.”

21. Couldn’t feel the tiny tip of her pinkie

When I worked in a&e, had a patient with the complaint of “neurology” in minors. She tells me she cant feel the tip of her pinkie. A vague 0.2cmx0.2cm patch right at the top. No sensation there whatsoever. No other history or symptoms. I grabbed a needle, poked it and cured her.

22. What the actual fuck

I had a woman who refused to be discharged as she “couldn’t keep any food or drink down”. Her room was filled to the brink with sweets crisps and fizzy drinks.

I asked her to show me the vomit. She produced a sick bowl she had filled with spit. I pH tested this in front of her (contents of stomach are acidic). Of course pH was normal. She then stuck her fingers down her throat and physically forced herself to repeatedly gag and vomit. In front of me.

Next day I returned and said she had blood in her urine. She’d filled a sample pot with red juice. It literally smelled of fruit.

Boss discharged her that afternoon. She was back within a week I think

23. She wouldn’t turn off her zombie movies

Another patient was in the hospital to have her 9th baby and then give it up for adoption (she was 9 for 9 on adopting out babies). She was 34, had a BMI of 65, no teeth, a creepy partner (I think it was a feeding fetish type relationship) and NO pain tolerance. I was asked to do an epidural. As I’m going through the consent, she’s distracted by some zombie pseudo-documentary that she refused to turn off. She had brought the entire DVD set to watch during labor. At the end of the consent process, I asked if she had any questions.

She just wanted to know “when can I go smoke a cigarette?” I told her after the baby was out she could do whatever she wanted. The adoptive parents, who already had a few of her offspring, were there the ENTIRE time. I had to forcefully ask them to leave for the sterile epidural placement, which was remarkably easy given her size but a little more challenging given the distracting zombie show that she REFUSED to let us turn off. Baby slid out about 30 minutes later, and she was discharged before the end of the day. I think the OBs at least managed to get an IUD into her.

24. But will he still be a virgin?

I had a patient’s mom ask me if putting a catheter in her 6 year old son would break his hymen and would he still be a virgin.

Being a virgin was important to them because of religious reasons.

25. You can’t cure stupid

One was a lady wanting to know if our clinic would do a “virginity test” on her because her PCP told her they don’t do that. It took me way too long to explain it’s not a real thing.

Another lady needed to get tested for STDs, not weird, but she said she needed us to send the results to her prospective employer? Uh why?? We told her we wouldn’t do that but she could come get a copy of her results and do whatever she wanted with it. She does but comes back later the same day and says we gave her the wrong test results. We double check, nope, those are def her test results. Trying to sort this out with her, I asked her why her employers would want an STD test anyway. She says, they said it’s to make sure I don’t have “tubulars.”

Then it dawned on me. She meant Tuberculosis. She needed a TB test, not an STD test. She gets angry and yells that we’re just trying to trick her into taking more tests to charge her more and then stormed out…

26. “One more for the road”

This happened to a friend of mine when he was in training to become a paramedic. He was on a ride along, basically, and they had received a call where a woman fell down the stairs. They get to the address and knock on the door. The woman who called was inside folding clothes. Apparently she had been drinking on her medication. Twisted her ankle and called for an ambulance. So they asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital. She’s says yes, then proceeds to the fridge to pour “one more for the road.”

27. I told him to not do cocaine

Doc here. I had a guy with an ICD in place. For those who don’t know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm.

He would regularly come into the hospital to have it turned off because he would do a ton of cocaine and the thing would keep firing due to his high heart rate.

I told him not to do cocaine. He kept doing cocaine.