#i feel like this cough is worse just bc the first one never fully went away lmao

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Has your cold been making you sneeze much ?

Not really honestly?? Like there's some sneezing, but mostly I'm just coughing 😔

[femme-enby]

Dream talk & duking it out

I’ve never really been one to move too much in my sleep but according to my spouse I do be rollin.

But the biggest new thing is I’m also dukin it out.

Had a dream where someone was forcibly trying to kiss me, and my sleeping position was the position I was in (as it typically goes when I end up actually moving) and sure enough I woke up just after sending out the hardest kick. Woke up breathing heavy, head pressing away from the non-existent threat, kicking leg still fully extended and tensed.

Dozed off twice this morning, first dream I was driving in an empty parking lot, something went wrong with my car so it started slipping & I slammed the breaks (don’t do that. I know not to but also… I’m in a spacious empty lot. I ain’t worried about hitting anything or going into a ditch I just want to STOP) and my tires are screeching, so I jerk the wheel bc it’s the back tires catching on something and I start waking up bc my hand jerked like I was driving, and halfway awake I catch the back wheels screeching again… only to realize it’s my spouse aggressively brushing the back of his tongue and doing his oddly aggressive dry, coughing gag which my brain had translated to screeching tires. Which… not too far off tbh. Similar to how I’ve pushed a zombie away in my dreams only to wake up bc I’m definitely pushing something away… him. Snore-snarling in my FUCKIN FACE.

The second time I woke up this morning was bc I was dreaming I was trying to get somewhere, & people were pushing past on the narrow side (also the “wrong” side if we’re talking rules of the road) and one dude starts like… roughly slapping/batting at my elbow sayin some nonsense in a mocking tone??? So I immediate jerk my elbow with QUICKNESS- and wake up feeling my whole body bounce from the force and speed of actually elbowing back into open air (was on my stomach)

Like… god damn. Tf am I physically fighting for??? I only remember waking myself up as a kid 3x from actually moving, and yet it’s happened in some form at least 5x in the last MONTH’S time???

The times as a kid, btw bc I find all of this interesting-

1) petting puppy (woke up still feeling that phantom softness and warmth in my palm, only going away when I moved my hand again, despite absolutely nothing being in my hand but air)

2) getting beheaded guillotine style. This one was crazy- I had my hands back by my sides, the blade drops and at the piercing pain I jerked my hand to my neck (in dream and fr) and dead middle of consciousness and dreaming I saw the world spin as my head fell before swiftly jerking myself upright like a fuckin vampire still clenching my neck as I waited for the pain to pass. Remembering the soft puppy from years earlier I tried moving my neck but the pain still didn’t change at all for at least 30sec.

Warning- mentions of gore

I’ve also always had oddly… specific? Detailed in ways they shouldn’t be? Dreams.

Like a simple one is seeing a red glow in my (at the time) shared bedroom, at maybe… 6? Years old, and walking towards this hamper that held a bunch of my toys. (Going towards the danger is the norm for me, it’s an actual problem bc I’m genuinely stupid) and just as I peek into the hamper, a robotic toy jumps out at me, glowing red pinprick eyes and sharp teeth (think like… UF sans or the common fandom interpretation of FNAF Moon’s teeth. Which btw was how I drew teeth as a little kid. Dunno why!) flying at my face. Also, as much as I would love to be like “haha FNAF got you!” I’m 26. I had OG freddlings or whatever jumping me before FNAF was likely even a thought in bro’s head. My mom was also super careful about the media I consumed so like… who knows where my brain got that from.

A worse one is where I had already had a freaky dream that night, and I was now maybe… 10? 11? And I didn’t wanna bother my parents but atp my bed was in the middle of the room, so exposed sides, and I went to my lil bro’s room and clambered over him to have my back to the wall in his bed. I then dreamed he was with me in some fucked up Winnie the Pooh nightmare shit, w like Piglet being absolutely shredded at one point, and then some goofy old school Count Dracula ass bitch came up to us, flashed me some stupid can saying “back be gone”??? And then sprayed it on my lil bro’s back, and despite not ever seeing any real gore or anything I saw as the skin bubbled, dissolved, muscle going too, and eventually leaving bone where I could see the organs slowing and stopping through the ribs… then saw his absolutely horrifying facial expression…. Only to wake up to his eyes actually like half open and rolled back like they be when someone’s sleeping but their eyes are kinda open??? Freaky btw. And after that I just went back to my room, and absolutely never went back to his bc I be damned if I get freaky ass dream then jumpscared upon waking up.

But yeah! Love my overactive imagination! Dope! Totally has not caused me to have some of the freakiest dreams that have been seared into my brain for years, like the one that in description wasn’t actually that scary… but the skeleton literally CAUSED feelings of terror simply by proximity, which was actually years after that freaky back begone nightmare, and yet caused me to feel true terror.

I’m talking full on heart pounding a mile a minute and so hard my chest hurt, breathing so fast you would have thought I had sprinted a whole marathon, and sweating EVERYWHERE which was wildly uncommon for me up until recent years when I’ve been on testosterone.

I’ve experienced horrific things since then, horrifically traumatic things even, and yet I’ve still never felt that kind of fear in my life before or since then. I don’t even know what kind of situation I’d have to be in TO feel that fear bc I’ve had folks 2x my size get in my face and threaten to shoot/put hands on their gun at least 3x in my life and that only ever caused my heart rate to speed up so much, still nowhere near like I even ran at all tho.

Like… I fear that damn skeleton nightmare was an example of my body putting pedal to the metal and flicking on every single fear receptor in my brain or whatever. Probably burnt half of them out XD

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt 3

its finally time 😂 after months of staring at an empty google doc i finally had a useful idea - also y’all, go listen to ‘Brighter Side of Grey’ by Five Finger Death Punch bc that’s the song i based this on and its fire and i love it also all of ffdp is one whole witchery mood

Warnging: vague discussion of a car crash where Geralt was severely injured, big emotionaly vulnerability, swearing?, listen to the song then you’ll get the vibes i promise

__________________

“Give them a break, guys,” Eskel sighed as he wrote down his coffee order, “They had a close call. It’s not like they’re always this…”

“Gross. Skel. The word you’re looking for is gross.” Lambert snatched the paper out of his brother’s hand and stalked out of the room with Aiden in tow. 

Jaskier scrunched his nose and called from where he was tucked under Geralt’s chin, “Did we drive them away? I can get up if it’s too much.” Even as he spoke, neither he nor Geralt so much as twitched to make good on the offer. 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Eskel shrugged. 

Lambert and Aiden, mainly Lambert, were getting fed up with Geralt and Jaskier cuddling and cooing and doing general new couple bullshit. Especially since they’d been together three years now. They were recording a collaboration song, meaning everyone had to be there, but it seemed the two vocalists only really cared about each other. Jaskier sat on Geralt’s lap, played with his hair, stole kisses whenever he could… at one point Lambert caught Geralt tracing Jaskier’s lips and forced a coughing fit to get his attention. He probably thought it was subtle, even if no one else did. So to take a break and get some of what he called ‘patience juice’ (coffee), Lambert ran to their favorite coffee shop while Eskel laid down his bass line. 

It’s not that they were intentionally this annoying, not all the time at least. After the car crash, especially once Geralt started doing well in his physical therapy, the couple just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Not to say that was the only relationship Geralt was suddenly extra involved in, it was just the most noticeable. 

Finally, after tea and coffee was distributed to everyone it was time for Geralt and Jaskier to, well, do their jobs. Jaskier was fidgeting and humming little scales, doing anything to calm the sudden nerves he felt bubbling up in his stomach. 

“You alright?” Geralt purred, nudging him with his elbow as they stood side by side at their respective microphones. When Jaskier only shrugged he continued, “What's wrong?” 

“I’m just not used to so many people being here while I…” Jaskier motioned to the mic before glancing around him and taking a deep breath, “it’s a vulnerable song…” 

Geralt’s worry lines in his forehead melted as he pulled Jaskier into his arms, “I can kick them out if you want?” he whispered. 

Shaking his head and inhaling Geralt’s scent deeply, something Jaskier had learned not to take for granted, he steeled his nerves, “I’ll be fine. Maybe a little weepy, but fine.”

As they were about to start, listening to the instrumental track and humming their parts of the song, Lambert brought Jaskier a bottle of water and set it on his music stand. He gave him a quick side hug and kissed his hair, offering a small “sorry” for all his teasing. Jaskier just giggled in response, the kind that only bubbles over from too much anticipation. He missed it, but Geralt mouthed a small ‘thank you’ to Lambert as he sat back down on the other side of the glass. 

Jaskier hooked his pinky around Geralt’s as the guitar intro started, needing that little bit of contact for the first line. When they’d written it it felt perfect. The audience knew exactly what kind of song they were about  to hear and Geralt really hadn’t known if he would pull through. It took Jaskier right back to the dimly lit hospital room where he scrawled and scratched out lyrics to keep Geralt distracted from his upcoming surgery. The fear, the desperation, the little pockets of joy when they forgot where they were, the overwhelming love that Jaskier thought he’d never be able to fully give to Geralt all crept back up his throat as he took a breath for that stupid fucking first line. 

His voice cracked partway through as he sang, making him fully grip Geralt’s hand, “I’m writing this in case I’m gone tomorrow,” By some miracle, he found his support for the next line, “I’m writing this in case I’ve moved along,”

For a moment he thought he’d gotten over the worst of it. A couple lines passed in relative ease, emotional but not so much it interfered with his craft. If he focused on looking at his microphone and keeping his breath supported he might make it through. Then Geralt joined him for the chorus. 

“When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away. When the sun burns out, I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey.” 

His harmony faltered and he involuntarily heaved a broken gasp in the middle of a line, desperately trying to focus on the mic that was now warped by the tears in his eyes. 

Geralt broke off after the first word of his verse, turning to Jaskier and pulling him in again, “You alright, love?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry,” Jaskier groaned in embarrassment as he clung to Geralt’s frame, “I’m being a baby. I wasn’t even the one hurt.” 

“No you’re not,” Geralt argued, running his knuckles over Jaskier’s cheeks to wipe away his tears, “Here,” he moved their mics and stands close enough that they were shoulder to shoulder and their fingers could comfortably lace together. 

Jaskier squeezed his hand gently and gave him a brave smile, “From the top?” 

“From the top.”

This time Jaskier tried watching Geralt as they sang. He made it through the first chorus and got to just watch as Geralt sang his verse. The pang of emotion in his chest was still ever present, but it was manageable. Until he noticed Geralt having trouble. 

On “All you get to keep is what you’ve shared,” Geralt squeezed his eyes closed and his grip on Jaskier’s hand tightened. The folk singer prepared, relaxed, readied himself to take a breath in. He was expecting that one to hurt after how much Geralt insisted upon it. How he threatened to get out of that hospital bed and scribble the line himself if Jaskier didn’t put it in. He wasn’t expecting the last line of the stanza to hurt. It had been comforting to the both of them at the time.

Geralt’s lip quivered and his voice was almost pinched as he sang out, “Remember no one ever really dies.”

Even being the one to write the melody, Jaskier missed the first three notes of the chorus, “Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was on me,” Geralt sniffed and chuckled, “I knew you’d lose it if I did.”

“How do you do this?!” Jaskier exclaimed, chugging half the water bottle to keep the breakdown at bay. 

Aiden’s voice came over their headphones, “Half our songs are his trauma and another quarter are group trauma. He’s got practice sweetheart.”

They tried a couple more times, even got through the whole song once with only minimal tears and one tasteful cracked note. But it was still a struggle for Jaskier to keep it together, and the more they sang, the more Geralt lost his iron grip on his composure. 

“Look at me,” Jaskier instructed, moving Geralt to face him and adjusting their mics so they could sing to each other, “Just like when we wrote it. Except a little less pain.” 

The joke earned a snort out of Geralt, exactly what Jaskier was aiming for, “This is supposed to be easier?”

“We can try?”

Jaskier did wonderfully for his verse, singing to Geralt was familiar and safe, even if the subject matter was terrifying. The chorus went well, but as soon as Geralt started to sing, Jaskier couldn’t exhale and it was all he could do not to sniff and ruin the take. 

“If you’re hearing this I know you’re probly scared,” had tears falling down his cheeks again and Geralt’s voice cracked as his eyes welled up, “Nope,” he choked, “that’s worse. Much worse.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier gave a watery giggle as he wrapped his arms around Geralt’s middle, “Why did we decide to do this again?”

Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair, sniffling and holding him tight, “I think we’re sadists.”

“Back to back,” Eskel’s voice crackled in their ears, “Try it back to back.” 

Leaning back to watch Jaskier’s reaction, Geralt hummed, “Do you want to? Or do you need a break?”

“Fuck it,” Jaskier shrugged, spinning Geralt around and following suit as he moved his equipment. 

As they stood waiting for the tech to start the audio, Jaskier felt like he could really inhale for the first time all day. Geralt was there, he could feel his ribs expand against his back and his fingers tapping like a metronome on Jaskier’s palms. This is what they were missing when they wrote the damn song. The comfort of knowing someone is always at your back, that they’ll be there when it’s hard and even when you’re separated. 

A warmth spread through Jaskier as the intro started and he felt ready. He still pressed back into Geralt on the harder lines, reminding himself he was still there, but they both made it through two full takes. 

On the final one, as the recording of the softly picked guitar faded out, Jaskier couldn’t help but repeat two more lines, “When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away.”

His voice hung in the air for a beat, the sense of finality reverberating through the studio and bringing everything else to a stand still. 

Geralt was the first to breathe, “Shit, we made it.”

“We fuckin made it,” Jaskier huffed, emotionally drained but immensely satisfied as he turned to hug Geralt from behind and press his cheek to his spine, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s get a snack?”

“Yeah.”

When the sound tech played the potential mix for the first time, he tacked on an echoing, distant sounding recording of their conversation. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, goosebumps on their arms and that feral sparkle in their eyes that every artist gets when they’ve stumbled on something really exciting. They re-recorded some guitar and drums, but they kept the vocals exactly the same. 

For the album art they wrote “I love you” on the tattered hospital stationary that had the lyrics and chords written on it and took a picture. Jaskier had the original framed and hung in their house as a little reminder. 

[jmcolt]

1-5 for bacey, 15-20 for lily

@chuckhansen bc you asked for 1 - 12; @kourumi ​bc you asked for 2, 10, and 17!

+ the rest of them bc i just want to 😑 lily is my favorite oc baby.

1. how did they feel about raising children? did these feelings change once they became parents?

Jacey was pretty set in her decision to not have any and Bobby was okay with that (even if he did kind of want children with her), but well, she obviously changed her mind and along came Lily. They’re both a little terrified and there’s definitely a few moments during her pregnancy where they question if they’re actually ready for it because who wouldn’t, y’know? However, they relax the second they lay eyes on their baby.

2. what’s their parenting approach? do they raise their children differently than how they were raised?

Very hands on! They make sure to spend as much time with her as they can (which, with Bobby staying at home, is most of it) and give her all the love and affection she needs. Coming from equally dysfunctional homes, it’s definitely different from how they were both raised and it’s their goal to make sure she doesn’t ever have to go through what they did. There’s never a moment where she feels unappreciated or discouraged from doing what she wants to do because they’re just so supportive of everything she tries. They’re front row at all of her piano recitals and always there to brag about her at school art shows!

3. what is their favorite thing(s) about their children? what do they love about their children the most?

If you asked them, they’d say literally everything. She’s their whole damn world!

4. who gets the most emotional seeing their children grow older?

Bobby has the hardest time letting go when Lily leaves for college and it gets even worse when it fully sinks in that she doesn’t really need them anymore. He does NOT cope with that very well.

5. who do they think their children takes after the most? which traits do the children share with their parents? (appearance or personality wise)

She takes after Bobby personality wise (and she’s his mini me in every way, much to Jacey’s chagrin), but when it comes to appearance, she’s a perfect blend of their features. Bobby’s blonde hair, Jacey’s curls and nose... the only thing she didn’t get from either of them was their brown eyes. She inherited green eyes from Jacey’s dad’s side of the family instead (again to her chagrin 😊)

6. how do they celebrate their baby’s first birthday? are they the type of parents to go over the top for birthdays/holidays?

Are you kidding? You know they 100% went overboard on her first birthday. She was born on Halloween, so it gave them the perfect excuse to throw a costume party in honor of their little girl and it became tradition to do the same thing every year after that— even if the other parents in town give them dirty looks for getting their kids hopped up on so much sugar 😒

As for other holidays, Jacey tried to have a lowkey first Christmas with Lily to make it more about family (she hated how superficial her own parents were about celebrating 🙄), but Bobby didn’t understand the assignment and bought too many gifts for their still pretty new baby. She got over it when Lily smiled for the first time while she was on her lap.

7. how do they soothe their crying baby when they’re out in public? who’s the best at rocking the baby to sleep?

They’ll pass her back and forth when she’s fussy, but she usually calms down faster in Bobby’s arms. Same goes for when it’s time to get her to sleep.

8. how do they care for their children when they get sick? who checks on them in the middle of the night?

They’ll do everything they can to make sure she feels completely comfortable while she recovers whether it be reading to her or letting her watch her favorite movies. Lots of soup and cuddles, too! Jacey has to be the one to give medicine, though— Lily starts tearing up and Bobby buckles like it’s okay, you don’t have to take your cough syrup right now. And when it comes to checking on her, they both take turns throughout the night... mostly because they can barely sleep when they know their baby isn’t feeling well.

9. who is the most protective of their children? what makes them both shift into overprotective mode? 

They’re both mama and papa bear! Nothing is happening to their daughter on their watch, but thankfully, they never really have to worry. 

10. who spoils their children the most? who finds it difficult telling their children ‘no’?

They both spoil her, but Bobby more so than Jacey. Whenever Lily points at something she wants, he does not hesitate to buy it and she has way too many stuffed animals as a result. That said, Jacey also has a hard time telling her no because she doesn’t want there to be any resentment between her and her daughter.

11. what was their baby’s first word(s)? if the baby’s first word was something used to address their parent(s), who claimed bragging rights?

Oh, Jacey got bragging rights. Bobby had been trying to get her to say ‘dada’ all day, but the minute she walked in the door, Lily very excitedly squealed out ‘mama’ instead and made grabby hands towards her. He was pouty for the rest of the night.

12. do their kids ever find them embarrassing? 

Only when they’re being gross and romantic. Typical kid stuff 🙄

13. what is their name(s)? is there any significance to it? any nicknames they go by? or cute pet names their parents give them?

Her full name is Lily Renee! Jacey adores Monet’s Water Lilies, so when it came to picking out names, Lily was her first and pretty much only choice. Bobby tried to campaign to give her Roberta as a middle name, but he got shot down and they settled on Renee just because it sounded nice. Both of them call her baby, princess, and Lily Bear!

14. how were they like as small children? did their personality change drastically as they grew older?

Completely full of herself. I did say she was Bobby’s mini me! Baby girl recognized her reflection in a mirror and never looked back. She mellows out a little as she grows older, but she’s still fairly prideful and as stubborn as her mother is.

15. what do they usually eat at restaurants? are they a picky eater? 

She was so picky growing up that Bobby started ordering things he knew she’d eat so they could trade plates when she decided she didn’t want what she asked for... which is something he was already doing with Jacey, so he’d had the practice. Pretty much the only thing she liked eating as a toddler was avocado! Sweet potato was a no and always got thrown in somebody’s face— usually Douglas whenever he was babysitting. She branched out a little more the older she got, but not by much and she still loves avocado.

16. have they ever scared their parents?

Just over the little things like her first fever and her first cut.

17. what was their favorite childhood toys/games growing up?

Not a toy, but she loved playing with her parents’ cameras! She would always make Bobby and Jacey stop what they were doing so she could take a picture of them. Eventually they got her a camera as a birthday present after she begged and begged for months to have her own instead of using theirs. She was also very attached to her copious amounts of stuffed animals— especially her ‘moomoo’.

18. which parent do they call out to whenever they have a bad dream?

Usually both of them, but she did catch them off guard once by asking for Douglas instead after he’d been over babysitting earlier that night.  He's her big brother 🥺

19. what is their favorite thing to do with their parents? any favorite games or mutual hobbies? 

Again, she loved playing with their cameras, so photography is a mutual hobby between all three of them. She also spends most of her time with Bobby and anything he does, she mimics. She used to sit by him while he was working and pretend she was working, too— would even give him little scraps of paper with crayon scribbles to ‘read’. With Jacey, she always enjoyed time in her art room. Sometimes she'd make her own paintings alongside her!

20. did they grow up to be different than what their parents had expected?

Nope! She stayed fairly consistent over the years. The only thing they got wrong is thinking she’d want to go into photography— she actually ends up going to school for graphic design.

[bbhyeoliskooks]

‘｡*※｡ 𝐌’𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲 ‘｡*※｡

Your bodyguard passes away in your arms, but you never got to say that he was the love of your life.

゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-*｡*※Оﾟ｡※゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-

Pairing: Taehyun x Reader (gender-neutral)

Genre: 5 cups of fluff this time, sorry guys if I hurt you :((

Warnings: Blood, Someone gets stabbed, death, unedited bc of school ofc

(This was just an experiment of mine! Just wanted to see some feedback after I looked up a prompt... Also mafia Taehyun, hello :D This hurted me for sureee-)

゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-*｡*※Оﾟ｡※゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-

It couldn’t hurt now, couldn’t it? Those were the last few of the thoughts reverberating through his head as he gazed upon the penetrating knife down below. 

Obviously not when there was a dagger punctured into his chest.

“Taehyun... no!” He snapped out from the surprise that he was stabbed when you cupped your hand over his bleeding chest in an effort to save the little bit of him. “Why the fuck did you do that? You know fully well that I’m able to protect myself!”

“I-I’m so sorry I couldn’t do my best to-” he coughed up a spurt of crimson colored blood, the pool falling upon your white shirt. Instead of becoming stunned that he had almost thrown up his guts, he felt bad your favorite shirt had become spoiled from his own damn fault of not being careful. 

“Don’t speak... it’s going to make it worse, but you’ll be alright? You’re going to be alright, you have to be.” Every word that came out from your mouth now was only in hopelessness, wishing desperately to an extent even though you knew fully well that he wasn’t going to make it. 

He had been the bodyguard that stayed by your side for years- years now! Almost since you were ten because of your overprotective guardian, but you didn’t mind it. Taehyun had been your first for everything: your first friend since all of the other people thought you were strange, your first to snuggle up under the covers with at a sleepover, the first one to put you before him even if it was expected of his job. As well as your first kiss just a couple days ago... but that’s too embarrassing to think about, too perplexing to wonder about the true feelings you saved up for him after all this time. 

Now though... Now was a different story while you allowed yourself to sob loudly as if no one was watching. Your father’s enemy smirked from the corner of your eye, and you were going to lurch towards him if not for the tug from Taehyun on your red marked sleeve.

There was an ardent but melancholy smile painted on his lips that you were able to return the gesture. You glanced worriedly at the enemy behind you until he urged you to come closer towards him, in fear that you wouldn’t be able to hear him in all this ruckus of fighting. 

“Excuse me, m’lady? Look at me, please.” He placed his hand over yours in a fruitless attempt to comfort you. The overflowing, wet blood connected the two of your hands together, dripping drop by drop against the pavement of the street. Instead of grimacing at the feeling, you only let a long needed sob that you had tried to save in your chest. 

Although he tried to hide the desperation in his voice, it was useless. You saw through him anyway, but didn’t say anything knowing that he was ashamed at how weak he was at the moment.

When you looked at him once more, you could see that he was losing breath as seconds passed, his face also becoming pale with exhaustion. This was a sight that shocked you, as you have always thought of how strong he could be to put a facade in front of you, but there wasn’t anything you could do. Only watch as the life in his face goes eventually.

His murmuring words brought a stop to your overwhelming thoughts, snapping you from that destructive mindset. 

“Just close your eyes now, you shouldn’t witness this.” Witness what? For a second, you didn’t think you had caught on to what he had said until he had taken it upon himself to cup your cheek, his thumb fluttering near both of your eyes. You paused there for a second, obeying his wish. What he meant though, you had no clue. He just chuckled at the tears unknowingly trickling down your cheeks. 

Suddenly, you had felt him affectionately press his lips against your own. It was extremely gentle for someone who had just gotten stabbed, but that fact was thrown away when you realized that he was finally kissing you! Just like that you responded eagerly, foolishly not knowing that what you felt was love all this time.

You had to pull away when you felt the slight taste of iron melting on your tongue. Taehyun coughed again, this time much stronger while he tried in a fruitless attempt to hide it from you. “I love you, Y/N. Always remember that.”

You were too caught up in the sweetness of his kiss to say it back when he ceased that passionate action. Feeling you right then and there was enough to tell him that you loved him as well, but he didn’t have enough strength to say it out loud. He hoped that through his dying eyes that you would be able to see the inside of his heart.

Not even a second later, his hand went limp no longer holding yours tightly against his slowing heart. His chest heaved, trying to grasp a breath of air. But still, he smiled to be the last moment in his life where you could experience it with him. “I guess I wasn’t a good bodyguard in the first place, m’lady!”

With one last joke- one that didn’t even make you laugh, he passed his last breath over to the pure heavens above. In response, you held on tighter to his warm body. He can’t just leave you, you wouldn’t allow it! If  But now was a simple matter of life or death, and you remorsefully understood that it fell into the latter. However, you were too scared- too afraid to say the words that had cost you life itself. “I- I love you too Taehyun, more than anything in this cold world...”

The warmth was drifting away slowly but surely, making you feel much colder than before at the realization. Little droplets of rain were dripping around the mess of your bodies tangled together, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care less. Taehyun, the love of your life was gone.

time skip.

A few years later and you recalled the event, speaking to some of your friends. They had been concerned that Taehyun wasn’t there by your side since you were known for being together at all times. You only smiled somberly towards their worried gazes, gradually shaking your head faster as little droplets of rain poured from your eyes. Just like before, huh? To you or anybody for that matter- it wasn’t that difficult to remember the soulmate you knew deep down in your heart even if you denied it.

Your fingers grazed delicately on your forehead where you last felt those lips, then down to your own.

A soft kiss on the lips, one so blissful and bittersweet... that every time you thought about it, you got a gentle reminder telling you that he didn’t even get to hear you say I love you back.

゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-*｡*※Оﾟ｡※゜｡*※Оﾟ｡※*´-

Posted: 10/9/20- Added to Queue

Tags: 

[modestmuses-a]

the positive & negative :    mun & muse  /  fill out & repost .

EKKO

MY MUSE IS :    canon  /  oc  /  au  /  slightly canon - divergent / fandomless / complicated 

i try to stay mostly close to ekko’s canon but i also have a fuckton of aus for him including some real self-indulgent bullshit that isn’t even on his verses page. if you want me to make a new au for ekko to fit him into a different skin line or something, i’ll probably do it tbh.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM ?    YES  /  NO / I DON’T KNOW 

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM ?  YES /  NO  /  IDK

for better or worse. when “giants” first came out, i had more ekko smut on my dash than i ever cared to see.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK

i can tell you what i think of ekko’s strength, and i can tell you that... it isn’t much. he’s not the most adept fighter in the series, and most of the time, he wins fights by cheesing them with time travel. in my thread with @uncaged-bloodhunter​ ekko would be DEAD four times over by now if not for the zero drive.

however, i haven’t seen much fandom opinion about his strength? i’m going to go out on a limb and say most people probably don’t find him very strong bc? i don’t see a lot of people saying that but. who knows.

ARE THEY UNDERRATED ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK

canon-wise, fandom-wise, and on this blog, ekko gets a lot of attention, which i’m not complaining about. he’s a fav.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK

he is important around zaun, but considering he won’t LEAVE that place, i doubt we’ll see him achieve much relevance in the bigger overarching conflicts in the league universe anytime soon.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER ? YES /  NO  /  IDK

if league did have a main character, i’m sure he would never meet them unless they were from piltover or zaun lol

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK

around piltover/zaun, all the academics are trying to get him to sit down with them, but overall? nah. if he went anywhere other than piltover or zaun, they would have no fucking idea who he was.

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION ?    GOOD  /  BAD  /  NEUTRAL

pilties HATE him! click to find out why!

no, but in seriousness, around zaun, his reputation is quite good as one of the few decent souls in the city. but in piltover, he’s just another thuggish troublemaker on a spree of petty crimes, as if zaun doesn’t already have enough of those...

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON ?

shrugs. i don’t actively think about adhering to canon with every thread i write, of course, but i do think i have a pretty good handle on his character so.

SELL YOUR MUSE !( try to list everything that makes your muse interesting to make them spicy for your mutuals ) 

he is a nice sweet boy who WILL adopt every single child and will go out of his way to help those in need. he also has plenty of spunk and a real get-up-and-go kind of personality, he’s not the kind of person who likes just “hanging around” so he’s a perfect companion for someone who likes to get out and adventure as long as you don’t go outside of piltover/zaun. he’s very loyal and will stick up for his friends, even when it would be more convenient to sell them out. and of course, he’s willing to call authority figures out on their bullshit and doesn’t sit back and passively watch injustices happen.

NOW THE OPPOSITE !(  list everything why your muse could not be so interesting . even if you may not agree. what does the fandom perhaps think ?  )

he’s got abandonment issues up to HERE, and because of that, he is c l i n g y. if he gets attached to you in any way, he will NOT let you go. he will NOT get over you. he will probably keep trying to worm his way back into your life for months or YEARS because he just doesn’t know how to deal with being left.

furthermore, he represses every negative emotion he has ever felt because he feels like his problems are trivial compared to other people’s so he bottles that shit right on up like cheap cough-syrup-tastin’ whiskey. he holds onto a LOT of resentment - at piltover, at the chembarons, at himself, at the world - and because he doesn’t allow himself to DO anything with said resentment, he’s a ticking time bomb (pun fully intended). i do have... timelines... where all that internalized hostility blows up in a really messy way. and by messy, i mean bloody.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE ? 

around the time i first started getting into league, a bitch was going through it. we were pretty destitute and received an eviction notice, and i had to work my ass off to keep us from losing our apartment. it was a very depressing time for everyone involved. but then i found ekko, this boy who had even less than i did but made the most of it, who always found some way to make the day better. writing him became very cathartic for me because it allowed me to take something positive away from what was one of the worst years of my life.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING ? 

punk rock music, haha! especially that of billy talent. their whole dead silence album is pretty ekko, but they have a lot of bangers that remind me of him scattered across all their albums. we deserved punk rock ekko and instead we got fucking true damage because riot didn’t wanna get political, i guess. smh.

some more personal questions for the mun . give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters , which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not .

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK                      

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS ? YES /  NO  /  IDK

i kind of only address headcanons as they come up. very occasionally i will drop a few for a new muse just so that people get a better feel for who they are before writing them but... yeah written headcanons are pretty few and far between here. it’s really not even worth me having a headcanon banner lmao

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES ?    YES  /  NO  /  IDK

i would like to, but writing my replies here kind of sucks up most of my time!

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY ? YES /  NO  /  IDK

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK

too confident some might say, but those people would be silly fools

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK  

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON ?   YES /  NO  /  IDK

sometimes i get anxiety about stupid shit but i try and often fail to be secure

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL ?

nope, i ain’t changing a thing. i’m the best ekko on this site, and you are free to disagree with that because everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion, but my askbox is closed to those kinds of complaints. :)

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS , WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER ?

yeah, sure, although i understand why people don’t send them because i often draw blanks on what to send without somebody reblogging a headcanon meme or something. if you just reblog “send my character questions on anon!” i’m probably not gonna do it bc i have no idea what kinds of questions would even be relevant or helpful for you.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS , DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY

nah, everyone can do what they want. i usually won’t follow people if i don’t agree with their headcanons, but i’m not about to get all up in somebody’s business about it.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL , HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT ?

again, wrong opinion, but you’re allowed to have it and you��re also allowed to SMASH that unfollow button.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER , HOW DO YOU TAKE IT ?

who hates ekko of all people, first of all? but second of all, i don’t care. just don’t get in my dms about it ‘cause i’ll block you. i’m not really interested in somebody bashing one of my muses to my face.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ?

shrugs. yeah, i guess. i usually leave other people’s grammatical errors alone as long as i can read their stuff.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN ?

yeah i think so. i try to be, anyway. i like to make ooc friendships bc i find it way more satisfying and easy to write with friends. although i sound a little bitchy in parts of this, it’s mostly jokes for exaggeration effects.

tagged by: @bikmui

tagging: @storiestotell (akutagawa), @bystcrdust, @dimensionaljumper (for eliza ‘cause i always send stuff for scribe lol)

[crowned-ladybug]

So I said I wanted to see demon AUs that aren’t smut and that I sadly don’t have the energy to make my own rn, and then I went ahead and accidentally made one anyway

So here’s some incomplete notes on it. It’s 2.7k words. I’m so sorry.

Local dumbass heir to the throne (Joseph) doesn’t Wanna be a heir to the throne bc it’s Boring he’s always wanted to be an Adventurer but here he is anyway. Then one night he gets drunk off his ass and manages to?? accidentally summon a demon??? in his friend’s Magic Lab???

(The friend is Avdol and he’s v v tired of Joseph’s shit)

fuckin Joseph made a drunk deal with a demon who Absolutely saw nothing against making a deal with the royal heir currently drunk off his ass bc hey, free deal

luckily the deal wasn’t for Joseph’s soul or firstborn child or half his kingdom or whatever. Instead the deal is a magical bond between Joseph and the demon that allows the demon to share in Joseph’s life energy/general basic human magic and thus be able to exist in the human world in a stable form without having to go home to rest every once in a while or having to maintain like ten spells Just In Case

the demon is doing this whole deal thing bc 1) he Has to, it’s kind of his Job and 2) he’s looking for vengance on a gang of demon hunters who have killed his family but since they’re human, he needs a way into the human world for a longer term to be able to hunt them down

the demon is Caesar in case you haven’t figured that out yet

Joseph is a lot less concerned about having made a deal with a Literal Demon than he should be. He thinks it’s p hilarious actually and Caesar immediately starts having regrets (he’d bond with Avdol over it if he were willing to lower himself to the level of Measly Mortals)

the fun thing is that bc he’s tied to Joseph magically to allow him to freely exist in the human world, Caesar can’t get out of a few mile radius of him, which kinda makes his plans to hunt down the demon hunters (*cough* Pillar Men *cough*) a lot harder and Joseph even more annoying to deal with

the logical solution to that is to pass Caesar off as a servant Joseph befriends, so that he can stay in the castle, and then eventually they can go off on some adventure together to defeat the Pillar Men (or, well, so that Caesar can defeat the Pillar Men while keeping Joseph at arm’s length) which would also mean that Joseph can Finally get his big adventure he’s been dreaming about

then Joseph gets the genius idea to kill even More birds with one stone and decides that Caesar should pretend to be his bf bc all the annoying ass nobles and shit won’t leave him alone about not having a partner and “oh no, you’re of age now, what will happen if you have to take the throne but have no queen by your side?” and everyone keeps trying to woo him and it was fun at first but now it’s just goddamn Tiring

Caesar agrees to it eventually bc Anything as long as Joseph lets him do his research on the Pillar Men in peace. He doesn’t really realise what fake-dating the annoying bastard entails until he’s already too deep into it and he kinda literally can’t go back on his promises to Joseph, being a contract-bound demon

(Caesar looks like a proper demon normally but he Can disguise himself as p much entirely human-looking if he needs to. It takes energy tho, so he reverts back to his demonic looks whenever he’s safe from prying eyes, or if he’s unconscious)

they’re essentially fake-married for magic tax benefits it’s so great

there’s Definitely some Magic Soulbond Shenanigans along the line of “if one gets hurt the other also feels it”

they find out that Caesar reverts to his demonic form when asleep when he pulls two all-nighters in a row looking for information on the Pillar Men and passes out in Avdol’s study, scaring the shit out of poor Avdol. After that they manage to land a room for him in the castle with some lie about him having travelled here from faraway lands (technically true) and having nowhere else to stay (also technically true), but he also spends a lot of his time in Avdol’s study and Joseph’s room without his disguise, solely for convenience’s sake

they ofc have to fool Everyone with the fake dating, including Joseph’s family, bc No One else can know that Caesar is a demon on a quest for vengeance. The worst, most unexpected part for Caesar is that Queen Erina and Lord Speedwagon actually seem to like him?? they’re just genuinely nice to him??? simply bc he’s around Joseph and bc they find him likeable??? he did Not expect Anyone to be nice to him in the human world, what the Fuck, he doesn’t know how to Deal With That

Suzi is Technically a servant but she’s been Joseph’s friend since they were lil kids so she was essentially raised alongside him and they’re best friends and Suzi can only keep Joseph out of dumb shit like half the time bc the other half she’s right there in it with him

she is Entirely unfazed by Caesar, sees through the pretend relationship in like two minutes and knows immeditely that Something Is Up. When she accidentally catches Caesar in his demon form while checking to make sure he’s not stacking all-nighters again, she doesn’t even bat an eye (meanwhile Caesar’s thoughts are entirely “oh fuck do I have to kill her now, Joseph’s gonna kill me if I do, oh fuck, oh fuck”) just tells him to go to sleep on time and then leaves (to call Joseph out on getting himself into even deeper shit than she’d originally thought)

look idk what he does or what relevance he ends up having to the plot but Polnareff is also there, he’s a dumbass knight who’s the reason Joseph knows how to Not fight properly (bc Polnareff has a shitton of dumb tricks and Joseph knows all of them) and has a giant crush on Avdol

god there’s just. A Shitton of dumb shenanigans during their time in the castle, both with the fake-dating (like having to teach Caesar proper royal etiquette and him getting Very confused and flustered when Joseph casually flirts with him) and with hiding Caesar being a demon (they have so many stupid close calls and make so many dumb decisions they Really Shouldn’t, it’s great)

when the time comes to go and find and kill the Pillar Men, it’s only Caesar and Joseph going bc Caesar doesn’t want any more ppl in this mission than absolutely necessary, totally not bc they’re his friends and he worries about them or anything

they get some tips on where to look and how to get there from this weird adventurer dude who passes through the castle on his travels every once in a while. Joseph’s only met him in passing but he thinks he seems fun and has his own dumbass theory that he’s totally some runaway royalty or something. Instead turns out that the dude is half demon and actually related to Caesar and Caesar, being an orphan and all, had thought finding a remaining member of his family would be Way more thrilling but no this dude is just as weird and annoying as Joseph so he’d like a refund pls

(the dude’s Gyro. Ofc it’s fuckin Gyro. Johnny’s there too somewhere I just haven’t figured that out yet. He might actually be the top horse trainer/caretaker/whatever of the castle and the True reason Gyro travels this way every time is bc he’s smitten as hell)

while Gyro gives them some advice he also tells them that hey. Maybe you shouldn’t do this?? esp not just the two of you??? Considering the Pillar Men are known to be ruthless and Very good at killing demons

ofc these idiots Don’t Listen and go after them together anyway

the plan technically is that Joseph stays a safe distance away while Caesar goes and fights the Pillar Men and Totally wins but like. ofc he doesn’t listen and refuses to stay on his ass and let Caesar leave so they go in together anyway

they manage to find Santana alone and Actually Kill Him but it’s a close one, much tougher than anticipated bc as I said before, these dudes are Really Good at killing demons and also just killing in general. It’s also when Caesar realises the full scope of the “if one gets hurt, the other also feels it” part of his bond with Joseph bc Joseph gets hurt worse during the battle and Caesar is so shocked by his own reaction to it that he’s frozen for a moment and it almost costs him his life

that night when they’re camping out after the battle, Joseph reveals that a long while ago he figured out how to break their magic bond without it hurting either of them or sending Caesar right back to his own world. it’s some old spell he found in one of Avdol’s books or something, idk, and at first he’d kept it hidden from Everyone bc he was starting to really like Caesar but knew that Caesar was only around him out of necessity (not true actually but Caesar hid and denied his growing fondness for v v long) and he didn’t want him to leave the moment he realised he Could, even if it was v v selfish of him and he feels like shit about it now. And then later on when it turned out that they’re gonna see this quest through together anyway, he figured it didn’t matter anymore and so he kinda just forgot about it

but he’s remembered it again before they left and packed what he needs for it as a grim Just In Case (and it may or may not be a weird red gem bc yknow, but idk yet) and now he offers to break the bond already bc of how him getting hurt almost got Caesar killed. But Caesar tells him not to, bc it doesn’t matter now and a spell like that would probably take a lot of energy out of both of them when they need everything they’ve got for the upcoming battles

in reality he doesn’t want the bond broken bc it makes him feel like he’s got a right and a reason to stay, without having to fully face just how much he cares about Joseph, and bc it makes sure that Joseph is never far from him and lets him know if he’s hurt and maybe like this he can somehow protect him from getting hurt again

spoiler alert: he can’t

the fight with the other three Pillar Men doesn’t go their way at all. I mean it’s 3 vs 2 and the 3 are Very Good at killing so it should be Expected, but they’re young and dumb and Caesar is stubborn and still thirsting for revenge and if Joseph can’t hold him back then at least he can stay with him

they both get badly hurt and when it looks like it’s just it for both of them, Joseph brings out that spell again and breaks their bond before Caesar could tell him to stop and tells Caesar to run, to get away and don’t even fucking look back, just Go. When Caesar tries to object, Joseph tells him that he’s not dying just so Caesar can get himself killed too and Caesar is too scared to do anything but listen and run as Joseph leaves himself no escape and takes another two of the Pillar Men down with him before Caesar could figure out a way to save him

Joseph survives, Somehow, minus a hand anyway. He wakes up again in his own room in the castle and he has No Idea how he got back or who even found him and his best guess is that Gyro and Johnny have followed them and lbr Avdol’s magic has probably had a part to play in it too

and Caesar is just. Gone. Separated from Joseph and already weak from the fight, he didn’t have enough magic left to remain in the human world for long and thus got pulled back into his own world, and being just a normal demon, he can’t even cross back over without being summoned. But Joseph doesn’t know any of that, he just knows that Caesar is Gone and he strongly doubts he’s coming back bc he hasn’t already and he’s p damn heartbroken about it

meanwhile Caesar isn’t having much better of a time in his own world either. Bc nothing went well, Nothing, but he realises that he doesn’t even care about his revenge plan anymore, he doesn’t care about hunting Kars down and avenging his family. But he’s just lost the only family he’s had Again, the ppl in the castle this time, and he’s stuck here without any way back unless someone accidentally summons him again, and for what he knows Joseph had died to save him and Caesar didn’t even get to say goodbye or bury him

this v shitty state lasts until Joseph’s desperation + a lil nudge from Avdol and Suzi gets him to try summoning Caesar again (bc Joseph decides that if he gets no response at all, if the spell fails, it means Caesar’s really just Gone and he hadn’t made it out alive after all, but having definite knowledge of that will still be better than just Not Knowing and hoping for the rest of his life)

Avdol lets him take his study all to himself and so Joseph settles in during the afternoon and gets to finding the spell which is Not Easy bc he’d been drunk off his ass when he’d first found and performed it. He’s starting to lose hope and think that maybe the spell doesn’t even Exist in Avdol’s books, he’d just butchered a completely different spell and that’s how he got to Caesar, when he Finally finds it, and it’s almost midnight at that point and he’s Exhausted and Scared and Sad and he just Wants This To Work

the spell asks for an offering for the demon’s services, and the first time around Joseph had said something like “idk name your price” which is how Caesar had got the bond he needed (tho Joseph doesn’t actually remember this)

this time he just says “anything” which is a p dumb thing to offer when making a deal with a Literal Demon but he doesn’t care, this is Caesar, he trusts him and he loves him and he’d damn right give anything to just know that he’s okay and maybe get to see him again

and the spell Works it fuckin Works even if it takes a moment and there’s a flash of light and then suddenly there’s Caesar, sitting on the ground in Avdol’s study in all his demonic glory, blinking as his eyes adjust to the dim light and until he sees Joseph sitting on the ground in front of him, crying. And from then on it’s just a big “i thought I lost you” reunion moment that’s so happy it Hurts. They stay sitting on the floor for Hours despite it being late at night, just pressed together and talking about anything and just enjoying each others presence bc they’ve missed each other and thought they’d never see each other again

the next morning Avdol finds them sitting against the wall in a pile and fast asleep and decides to take the day off and goes to find Suzi and Polnareff to tell them the news

idk where the rest of the plot goes yet bc Kars is still out there and Erina and Speedwagon still don’t know about the whole demon thing but have this for now

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

@steverogershield x Ben Hargreeves

downside to rewatching UA: extreme EnnaxBen feels

upside to rewatching UA: extreme EnnaxBen feels

honestly this ship is the best ship bc I can so see you and Ben balancing each other nicely n teaching each other n caring for each other above all else and I’m noT CRYING OKAY IT’S JUST SO SWEET HALP

It was a love wrapped up in inevitability, like the sellotape you had frantically wrapped around a vase of Grace’s you’d broken as children. You thought, hoped, it was the inevitability of future together. It was a lightness, an ache, the kind of steadiness that kept you treading water when you wanted to sink. You grew up together, grew into yourselves together. You shared little mannerisms, seemed to gravitate toward each other out of habit and the feeling of safety you brought each other, like you were caught in one another’s gravity. You would rest your head on his stomach, fearless of the violence the creatures lurking under his skin could bring. He would stroke your red cheek lightly with his thumb, meeting your eyes and telling you that you were beautiful. There wasn’t one part of him you didn’t know and love, and he felt the same... especially your love for dogs. It wasn’t uncommon for him to send you photos of dogs - twice even in the middle of a mission, which made you laugh to picture him thinking of you and disobeying his father to take a photo of a little-too-well-mannered guard dog.

There was one part of yourselves that you didn’t know about, however.

The way he watched you when you weren’t looking, wistfulness and hope and uncertainty. The way you glanced at him while you read every so often as he napped in the sun, the way your eyes always found him whenever your attention wandered, your anchor when you felt unsure. Anyone else who looked at you two knew it. You caught Allison staring at you once, but she quickly averted her eyes with a smile. You rarely spent any time at the house anymore; you could tell Ben was getting restless confined in those dark walls.

The city was your new world. You had never seen Ben so excited or free than the first day you officially went out together: running through the rain, splashing in puddles like a child, returning to you dripping wet and offering a hug with a wide, cheeky grin. You both realized then you could go wherever you wanted. And so, you did.

Bookstores where you curled up on the window seat against Ben’s chest, contact a familiar, comforting thing. His fingers playing with you hair when he wanted, reading over your shoulder, occasionally whispering opinions about the writing in your ear (”yours is definitely better”) and even dozing sometimes with his cheek against your hair.

Coffee shops where Ben spent too much of his father’s money and shrugged off the impending lecture. He bought you lunch and made sure you ate it, giving you his ‘please eat that, do not make me give you The Look’ eyes if he ever saw your slight hesitation. Ben knew you, knew every word of your unspoken language. He knew when you were struggling. Even after all your years together, he still made mistakes, but you knew they were always through good intentions. He wanted to fix things, wanted to make you feel better, and it frustrated him when he just had to let you work through it by yourself - by yourself, but always with him by your side. A compromise compiled of small things: drink this, and I promise I won’t bother you again. Just eat this and I’ll leave you alone. Here’s your clothes, they just came out of the dryer, please put them on, they’re warm, I promise. It kept you healthy and it kept him sane... mostly.

A museum, quiet and calm, a place of retreat and thoughtfulness. You would go there when writer’s block struck you, to concentrate solely on writing. You would look at the exhibits and wait for the words to come, sitting down and typing quickly if they did. Headphones on, soft music and soft environment, and a soft touch to your elbow when Ben returned carrying coffee and sandwiches. He wouldn’t interrupt you, just sit next to you or wander around, and when you were done and asked if it sounded okay, he’d listen patiently and then tell you with all his enthusiasm how more-than-okay amazing it was.

You knew from a logical standpoint that most people wouldn’t have to get used to seeing their best friend soaked head to toe in blood, but you never batted an eyelid. You had been desensitized from years and years of being on the outside return of his missions. You would be waiting on your laptop, or phone, or reading a book, trying to keep down the nasty little voice that grew louder and louder the longer he was away - maybe he won’t come back this time, maybe you’ll lose him - but he always did. You would glimpse him stumbling into the bathroom, a blur of red and black. You’d hear the sound of running water, and the thump as he dropped the soap out of tiredness. He would eventually make it to the bedroom and collapse next to you.

“I didn’t sign up for that,” he sighed into your shirt.

You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair, now soft and damp and not reeking of metallic blood. “Are you okay, Ben?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He’d put his hand over yours for a second and smile at you, so genuine and sweet, like his smile was for you and only you... and then he would fall asleep on you, and you would have to obey the law of ‘I Have A Cute Thing Sleeping On Me And Am Not Allowed To Move No Matter What.’ To be fair, he always did the same for you, and didn’t seem to mind even if both his legs felt like they would never regain feeling. He was too busy beaming to himself about how peaceful you looked fast asleep on him.

Once, when you were sick with pneumonia and not allowed out of bed, Ben took it upon himself to visit the local library and browse through everything to find something he thought you’d like. This led to him carrying a stack of books higher than his head into the room and placing it down beside your bed with a very proud smile, and triggered a laugh/coughing fit in you, very quickly turning his pride into concern.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I am now, I promise.”

You kept the last of those library books. You couldn’t bring yourself to return it, not after that day. Walking home in the snow, blind and deaf to your surroundings. You found it on your bed, where you left it. The note he had stuck to the top of the pile of books was tucked in as a bookmark. I hope you feel better soon. Love, Ben. He’d even scribbled a little star at the end. You stared at it blankly for a terribly long time. The next morning you woke up still fully clothed, clutching the book and its note to your chest so hard it left red imprints in your hands.

Eventually Klaus asked why a good girl like you had kept a library book a year past its due date, and that’s how the story came out. Klaus managed to keep his face straight enough to say “well, you shouldn’t have, Ben’s very disappointed in you for being so lawless” before he jerked to the side like somebody had just shouted in his ear - which somebody had. “And... he says I shouldn’t lie to you about him. I know that, I’m sorry.”

It took you a long time to adjust to the idea of talking to Ben when he was(n’t) there. Klaus told you he was with you most of the times (”thank God, he leaves me alone for a while”) and so you tried to start a habit of talking to him. It made it better... and worse. You caught yourself pausing at the end of your sentence, waiting for his reply. You didn’t want to think what you would give up to hear his voice, see his face, cuddle up to him on cold nights like you did so often when he slept over. It was a physical ache, like the phantom pain of a lost limb.

On a cold, stormy night, you pulled the blankets up around you and imagined him next to you. You almost wanted to call Klaus to ask if he really was here, just to make sure, but you really didn’t think Klaus would reply at this time of night, God knows what he was doing. You spoke quietly, talking about your day, the rain. You watched a show for a while, tilting the screen so that somebody sitting beside you could see, too - even a year later, it was still a habit. And then, lights out and lying awake, you smudged something into the fog on the window with your finger, already half asleep; a little man holding an umbrella. You smiled to yourself, but you couldn’t help the tears brimming in your eyes, either. 

Klaus looked decidedly frazzled but also sad the next time he showed up unannounced at your door. “Ben keeps pestering me to thank you for the little umbrella boy,” he told you. “And he’s sorry he can’t say it himself. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I do.” You smiled, and you had to struggle again to keep your eyes from burning. “It’s okay. Thank you, Klaus.”

He looked at you for a moment, then his expression softened and he sighed. “Here, come here.” He pulled you gently into a hug and patted your back - awkwardly, but you knew he really was trying. “I’m sorry, too,” he murmured in your ear

You hugged him back and blinked the tears from your eyes. “I’m okay, really.”

“Yeah, well.” He stepped back and cleared his throat - and he looked a bit unraveled himself. “I always told him you were too good for him. For any of us, really... and he agrees.”

You laughed and wiped your eyes. “You’re not.”

“I know that,” Klaus said with a pat to your hand. “You take care of yourself... oh, and he’s staying with you.” He listened for a moment, and smiled. “There’s no place he’d rather be,” he added, making quotation marks in the air.

You just nodded, not wanting to tear up again, and he smiled and waved to you before leaving. You straightened up and looked around. “It’s you and me again, Ben.”

You could almost feel his fingers close over yours. Just you and me.

[jungnoir]

college boyfriend!wonwoo;

my first piece for wonwoo!!! for this request

for some reason i was kinda struck with this idea of wonwoo while i was plotting and i can’t really get it out of my head

so in college, wonwoo is... elusive

he’s the kind of guy that could be in a class of eight and you still wouldn’t recognize him if someone showed you a picture

but that’s bc of himself and no one else

he doesn’t really like taking all the spotlight and by going to a huge university, he can blend in pretty well

despite having a lot of outgoing friends, their personalities have never really rubbed off on him

despite his best friend mingyu trying to bring him out of his shell all the time, wonwoo is pretty fine being confined to his dorm in between classes and staying home from rowdy parties on the weekends

and it’s not a problem to him. he loves solitude

some of his friends don’t really understand how he could be so chill with just spending all this time alone by himself but they never pressure him

however, one night after they all ace their exams, wonwoo is inevitably dragged out to party bc “you gotta celebrate that close call!”

wonwoo’s only reason for going is free food 

so the guys take him to a bar and they’re all getting drunk off their asses, chasing around pyt’s and having the times of their lives, when wonwoo decides he’ll head home early

he’s not even halfway out of the door when he feels off

it’s like the happy atmosphere from inside is hosed off and all he can feel is danger danger danger

he turns this way and that, expecting some wannabe gangster or thug to be lurking around, ready to nab his stuff, but instead he sees you on the other side of the street, walking home and obviously alone

when he sees you’re the only person out in the open he just turns and starts his trek home, but then he gets a really nasty feeling in his gut and it keeps telling him to turn around

and when he does, he sees him

it looks like a pretty shady guy, somewhere in his late forties, dressed way too heavily for barely cool weather

the guy is keeping a pretty good distance from you too, so good that wonwoo, if he hadn’t been so instinctively inclined, might’ve went back on his merry way

but wonwoo knew better, and soon he was slinking across the street and tailing you two

as soon as an alleyway appears, the guy ahead starts sprinting, and wonwoo does too, his legs keeping him close behind until he’s right on top of the guy

the guy tries to grab your arm and when you hear the commotion behind you, you peel back just in time 

wonwoo rams into the guy’s back and throws him to the ground, using all his force and knocking the guy’s breath out of his lungs, sending a kick to his side and making the guy cough in pain

“what do you think you were about to do?” wonwoo growls, and the guy on the ground shrinks back and quivers bc he definitely wasn’t expecting a real fight tonight

the guy keeps shaking helplessly and glances at you before he goes “m-man, she’s not even worth it” and runs off

wonwoo is still standing, watching and making sure the guy doesn’t come back, when you grasp his upper arm

he jolts bc he’s still kind of riled up, but when he sees you, soft and gentle, he finally takes a peaceful breather

“thank you, wonwoo”

wonwoo kinda rears back in shock bc??? you know his name?? how???? he only talks to like twelve idiots and they’re all currently drunk in a bar half a mile back

when you see the uncomfortable look on his face you immediately pull your hand away from him, telling him your name as you start blabbering “i’m not a creeper or anything i swear! you’re just in one of my classes and i remembered you”

and again, wonwoo is still in shock

bc this is the guy that blends in on purpose, and never tries to make conversation unless absolutely necessary, so why had you said his name like you were both old friends?

“your... class?” he asks, racking his mind for where he might’ve seen you, and you tell him that you both have chinese history together and he’s like ohhhhh, the class he always falls asleep in

the only reason he’s passing is bc of jun and minghao, two chinese transfers who always begrudgingly help him with his homework

“i remember you from hearing the teacher yell your name every fifteen minutes. are you... narcoleptic or something? should i walk you home just in case you pass out?”

and you actually mean it seriously, even going as far as to take his arm in your hold

but wonwoo is just so endeared by your look of concern that he splutters between laughter, turning his head away from you in disbelief

bc really, a pretty stranger like you wouldn’t speak to him longer than they had to, so why were you still here?

“i’ll be fine. if anything i should walk you home, in case that punk is waiting around the corner or something” he says, casting glances here and there to make sure the coast is clear

finally you just take his arm fully and drag him along with you, taking him by surprise as you hum, “for the sake of both of us, then”

the walk home is quiet and while usually it’d be awkward for wonwoo, he actually doesn’t mind it in your presence

he can focus on the sounds of cars on the street, dogs barking in the distance, and your soft breaths in the cold air

he watches as you take forced deep breaths and exhale just to watch the air steam before you, as you take pride in the crunch of leaves under your boots, as you tug your scarf just a little tighter

and when you two finally make it to your dorm, you’re reluctant to pull away, your fingers twiddling as you give him a small smile “thanks for walking me all the way”

wonwoo just nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets, ready to leave, when you randomly call his name

when he turns, you’re shoving your phone into his chest faster than he can think, his hands fumbling to catch it before it falls

“put your number in”

it’s not even a question or a suggestion

you might as well be holding a gun to his head lol

(but you wouldn’t need one, wonwoo would do it anyway :D)

with freezing, nimble fingers, he puts his number in and watches as you smile at it

he’s about to ask what you need it for when you raise the phone and snap a picture of him, his eyes blown wide as he attempts to assess the situation

“cute. I think i’ll keep that.” you mumble to yourself, setting his picture as his icon before tucking the phone away in your back pocket and heading back inside, offering him a quick wave before you disappear from sight

wonwoo ends up walking back to his dorm a little slower, the only thing on his mind being the brief flash of light in his eyes before you snapped his picture, and the prideful smile you held when you looked it over by yourself

he didn’t even have your number, but you had his

walking home, he could only think “what a strange girl”

and strange indeed, bc the next day after class he’s getting a call from you

you don’t say much, just that he should meet you out front, near the building where you two share a class

he’s like pshhhh. nah. im not going........well. idk im gonna walk past it to get to my next class..... i guess i could go see her...... maybe

his class is the opposite direction but shhh

when he gets there, he sees you holding two coffees, wrapped up in your scarf from the night before, looking cheery as he nears

“here!!” you shove a black coffee into his hand and he stares at the cup in confusion, popping the lid like???

“you assumed my favorite coffee is black coffee. you assumed wrong.”

and then you’re shoving like ten packets of sugar into his free hand with a pout “i had a feeling black coffee was presumptuous so i got you lots of sugar in case. you’re welcome.”

there’s a metaphor hidden in there you know

you start walking away and he stares at your back, unsure what to do until you twist and beckon him, and for whatever he reason, he finds himself following after you like a dog on a leash

you two stroll across campus, you chatting away and attempting to make him a laugh

and a few times you actually succeed

in between your rambling wonwoo focuses on you, attempting to decipher exactly why you’ve bothered to get him coffee, or to walk with him so casually as if both of you had been friends for years

it’s like you see more of him than he thought he had been showing

to his surprise, you two end up where his next class is with ten minutes to spare, the route you’d taken getting him there far quicker than the one he usually took

he mentally maps it in his mind before giving you a glance over and a small “thank you”

“no prob. see you later!” 

and wonwoo is like yeah lol that’s just a simple, normal parting

but you actually see him later

guess who’s childhood friends with boo seungkwan???

when wonwoo comes over to see seungkwan at practice for the upcoming musical he’s in, he sees you joking around with the cast and playing with seungkwan

as soon as you two make eye contact, you’re shuffling over with a big grin and seungkwan is not far from behind, the look in his eyes

seungkwan: (    ͡ °  ͜ʖ   ͡° )

wonwoo: Do Not

seungkwan: (    ͡°   ͜ʖ   ͡° )!!!!!

“so, you two know each other?” and there he goes

before wonwoo can even try to save his ass from what he knows seungkwan will royally misinterpret you’re butting in “oh yeah!! he walked me home”

and seungkwan is like oh??? did he now?? :)

“right after he fended off some creep. honestly, if he wasn’t there, I would've had to get my hands dirty”

but all seungkwan can hear is love! love! love! loVE

“wow, wonwoo doesn’t step in for just anybody. you must be special” he says, to make matters somehow worse

and then you’re looking, eyes wide, before glancing between him and seungkwan like no!!! no. no. what? no way.

but seungkwan is Convinced and there is no unconvincing mr. boo sorry i don’t make the rules

“it’s not like that, seungkwan” wonwoo pleads

“probably not. any decent person would step in if they saw something going on. i just... ya know... think it’s funny how wonwoo didn't really have to walk you home. like not really. like that didn’t have to happen.”

and wonwoo wants to defend himself but also he... cannot?? like normal wonwoo would not go through that much effort

normal wonwoo would have beat that guy’s ass way worse too, but you had been there and he didn’t want to frighten you

which... is another thing he can’t tell seungkwan

instead he’s silent and seungkwan is like point? made

finally, seungkwan has to go bc some kid needed help learning runs

so when it’s just you two standing backstage you suddenly become quiet, even looking a lil

bashful?

and he’s like isn’t that my thing

“sorry about seungkwan” you both say at the same time, and then you two make eye contact, right before you break into laughter

there he goes again, laughing because of you

his heart even swells a bit when you beam at him, proud that you’ve made him laugh

“you have a really pretty laugh. you should laugh more often” you tell him, and his cheeks BLARE red

instinctively he covers his mouth, up until you grab his wrist and pull it down “don’t hide your smile either”

and wonwoo on the inside is like “this girl is dripping in grease... i like it....”

you two just look at each other, gazes locked, neither of you knowing if the other should speak first or not

and then wonwoo breaks the silence to your surprise, “wanna go get something to eat? seungkwan looks like he’s gonna be a while”

he takes you to a sushi place and while wonwoo starts off really reserved, you manage to open him up a significant amount

by the end of the night he’s laughed more than he has since starting the school year, and you’ve just made him feel really happy and what is this feeling??? omg??

when you two are walking out, you’re about ready to do something bold but

he beats you to it

“this is probably really soon and i don’t want to freak you out but... wanna do this more often? like... go out, i mean. not like friends but you know as... something more.”

and you’re immediately like “of course!!! yes let’s do that!!!” and it’s just so cute

both of you are blushing, giggling messes going home

and from that moment forward, the cutest relationship ever begins

you’re much bolder in the relationship so it’s expected for wonwoo to have you come over unannounced often, or have you call him late at night just bc you want to hear his deep voice

he usually sounds tired and done with you but in reality his heart grows even fonder every time

he loves that in your spare time, when you’re away from him, you’re thinking about him still

you always send him cheesy texts and silly puns to make him laugh bc “even if i’m not there to hear it, you should be laughing wonwoo”

he is a gentleman and a little awkward about it

like he pulls your chair out a little too far for you and you nearly fall on your ass

he opens the door for you when you’re like fifteen feet away

his hands rarely drift farther than your shoulders

but it’s bc he doesn’t know how far to go, or how far you’ll let him go, so he’s always super cautious and tries to stay in tune to how you feel

he’s deeply emotional but he doesn’t like showing it

he’d rather bottle it all up until he’s so thinly stretched he implodes

so you learn that when he gets quiet and doesn’t really react to you when you ask him how he’s feeling that he’s bottling up something

you stop everything you’re doing and force him to talk to you

at first, he really despises doing it, but then he becomes a lot more open

you won’t even have to ask, he’ll just tell you how he feels right off the bat

he can simply text you how he feels and vice versa and you two take care of each other

wonwoo: feeling shitty. inadequate. please tell me you love me

you: coming over with ur fave movie and some takeout. i’m wearing the sweater you like to snuggle up on. i love you to the moon and back

or

you: i said i didn’t care that you were acting close with that girl from your class but in reality i was jealous :/

wonwoo: dummy, who else would put up with an emo dweeb like me besides an emo dweeb like you?? i don’t want anyone else either

like your relationship is so healthy

wonwoo feels safe with you

like he doesn’t have to tie himself up and restrict himself in front of you. he can just be

he loves you so much he takes you home to meet his family, and that’s a big deal for him

his family means the world to him so you meeting them is like... monumental

from then on, everyone knows he’s smitten with you

seungkwan has also deemed himself yall’s mediator and/or therapist

so if you two get into a particularly heated fight he’s always first to try and repair 

he knows you two like the backs of his hands, so it’s easy for him to see where one of you has gone wrong

he scolds you both when you act childish and ends up ending fights way quicker than the two of you would end them on your own

the other guys are also deeply invested in the relationship

at least one of them knows where either you or wonwoo is at all times

wonwoo can trust his friends to look after you when he’s not around and you can trust his friends to be honest with you when wonwoo is feeling out of his element and not telling you

surprisingly, wonwoo is the first to say i love you

it just slips in the middle of a fight, when you two have come to each other’s ends and all the stress from school and friends has hit with a vengeance

he screams it, tears welling in his eyes 

the room falls silent and he thinks that he’s really fucked up now

but then you come closer and pull him into a hug and he freely breaks down in front of you, holding onto you like dear life

“i love you too, idiot... i love you” is all you whisper to him, rubbing his back and letting him let go until he’s feeling better

just

wonwoo is actually very sensitive and he sometimes doesn’t say what he means but he loves deeply

and he’ll be loyal for a long time

all he wants is the same thing

so yes love this boy pls

[tboytoby]

Clutz and Tomalgam (And a lil SepraTorm at the start)

@tomalgam @rejectclone Here it is! The format’s a little odd since we used MSPARP to do this. 

Warning: It’s a little long

-------------------------------

Clutz: Clutz is an Edd clone, this he knows. However, something he doesn't know, and would very much like to, is why he came out the way he did. He can't do a lot right. One of the few things that he can do correctly, though, is break things. He's broken more fragile items than he's even able to count anymore and as much as he hates it, it's who he is. He's tried everything but he just can't stop being so clumsy. At this point he's begun to think he was born with two left feet. What would that look like? He looks like he has a left and right foot that should work normally.. The clone is suddenly torn out of his thoughts about why he is the way he is as he trips on his shoelaces for the fifth time today. "Ow.." He lets out a soft sigh, ignoring the pain in his hand. He appears to have scraped something. Again. It's quite hard to keep a positive personality when all you do is fail at basic things such as tying your shoes. And walking.

 Separatorm: Well heres him, whos him? He is Separatorm, A reject. He was made when a tom clone and a tord clone somehow were messed with like play dough. They were smushed together than pulled apart. They didn't fully separate. Thats how they got their name. Separatorm. Even with this small little fact, for some reason, these clones liked each other, a lot. More like loved. how? we'll never know. They just love themselves. No fighting. They love themselves so much they speak in one voice all the time, unless there's an argument...but that's rare! They almost don't have any arguments. They sigh, with that giant mouth of there's. They were just leaning against a wall until they saw Clutz. They wave, and smile. And walk over. "You alright?"

 ((wheezes

 ((You did a good, babe

 ((I'm just gonna quickly have a shower while we wait for Candy uvu

 ((k

 ((im also getting lowkey tired

 ((might d i e

 [4'2"] Scribble Tom [7'2"] Tomalgam (Candy) [] joined chat.

 SCRIBBLE: shit one sec-))

 Torm|Clutz (Sky)'s connection timed out.

 TOMALGAM: Big ol' Tomalgam was not really your average clone. Some just had little defects, like not having the same interests as the originals, or some were fused, but Tommie was very different. Standing at seven feet tall, with a couple of inches on top of that, he had a face made up of ten "eyes" and three mouths (one in the normal place, one on his cheek, and one above his eyebrow). That wasn't counting the other one on his neck, either. Six arms and four legs, walking was a nightmare for the poor babe. His torso was too heavy for his legs to hold up, so often he found himself crawling like a spider. Scuttle, scuttle! Right now the nervous reject was stumbling along, somewhere near that injured-looking Edd clone and the half separated Torm.

 SCRIBBLE: *eight arms and six legs

 Torm|Clutz (Sky) [] joined chat.

 ((Okay i'm finally back

 Clutz: Clutz rubs his hand a little. "Yeah, i'm okay. Tha...nks..." He pauses as he looks up at the reject clone before him. He's seen Torm before, even a few different variations of them, but never before has he seen a Torm this... Odd..? He doesn't want to think of the poor clone as scary, as much as they are to him, as that would be judging them just by their appearance and that's rude. He decides to just sit up, instinctively patting and brushing away any dust or dirt that decided to cling to his hoodie and his torn pants. He looks up again to notice a certain multi-limbed Tom clone. The clone looks rather uncomfortable as he walks. Even though Clutz knows he'll probably make it worse, he stands up and attempts to move over to the clone. "Sorry, excuse me." He smiles softly at the Torm clone before walking over to Tomalgam. "Hey, are you oka- Ah!" He trips. Again. He groans softly as he lands face first on the ground. Ow.

 ((Clutz is great at first impressions

 ((i,,

 ((HE MADE SURE TO SAY SORRY BUT HIS MOM SENSES WERE TINGLING

 Separatorm: Oh. Hes..kinda..hurt? but he gets it. That tom clone seems like he needs help more than him. He sighs, and just watches, he pats his own back, reassuring himself. Ok, hes good. He coughs though, eugh.

 ((My replies,,,

 ((are gonna be short because im v tired

 ((Is ok

 ((You is a tired bean

 ((pat

 ((//Hugs// My tired bean

 ((:0

 ((Tfw you have two unfinished drawings bc you don't have the motivation to finish them

 SCRIBBLE: I have to do hw so ill bbl-))

 [4'2"] Scribble Tom [7'2"] Tomalgam (Candy)'s connection timed out.

 ((:0 Okie dokie

 ((//Pats Jam// You can sleep now bby

 ((ah,,

 ((fades into the astral plane

 ((There they g o

 ((jk

 ((hugs u

 ((now i sleep

 ((Sweet dreams, babe. Love you <3

 ((love you too :0

 Tom|Seperatorm (Jamie) [] disconnected.

 [4'2"] Scribble Tom [7'2"] Tomalgam (Candy) [] joined chat.

 ((Ayy

 SCRIBBLE: Heeey))

 ((//Faceplants// I'm ded

 SCRIBBLE: catches))

 SCRIBBLE: same))

 ((:')

 ((Do you wanna continue with the rp? :0

 SCRIBBLE: Yeah sorry im just drawing-))

 ((Ooh :0!

 SCRIBBLE: Two of the clones mouths yelp, creating a duet of fright. He looks down at the poor reject that just fell at his feet, eyes blinking in confusion. After a moment, three arms are held up to help the chap up. Tommie doesn't talk, he just tilts his head a little.

 Clutz: "Thanks." He wipes the area just below his nose, wincing slightly as he sees blood on his hand. "S-Sorry." He feels rather useless. He came over to try and help this poor clone, not to make a fool of himself and have to get help from this poor clone! "I'm fine, i-it happens a lot." He sniffles softly to try and lessen the blood coming out of his nose. He's probably smudged it all over his cheek at this point so he just gives up and gives Tomalgam a reassuring smile.

 SCRIBBLE: The maw on his neck chews its bottom lip testily, drawing blood. Tomalgam winces, looking at the blood smudged across this fellow's cheek. He lifts an arm and points at the spot on his own face, then at the place his nose would be if he had one.

 Clutz: He wipes the spot a little, mostly cleaning it. "Did I get it?" He looks up at the tall clone's face, only really mildly disturbed by his features. Clutz does, though, notice the chewing from the other's neck mouth. "Oh, are you okay? Does it hurt?" It hasn't even dawned on him the possibility of this Tom clone being mute. He'll probably feel really bad if he gets no response.

 SCRIBBLE: He nods at the clone's first question, then an arm lifts and forces the neck's mouth open, ceasing the biting. Another nod, Tomalgam doesn't like talking. He hates his voice :(

 Clutz: "Oh, good! Since I was gonna try and come over here to help you anyways." He smiles brightly. And he's obviously helped so much since he moved over here... He quickly dismisses the thought from his mind.

 TOMALGAM: Tilting his head again, Tomalgam points at Clutz, eyes blinking. It's meant to be a sort of "who are you?" gesture.

 Clutz: He thinks for a second. Oh, right. "Everyone calls me Clutz..." He doesn't really like the name but it's the only one he has. "Can you tell me yours..?"

 ((Oop brb

 TOMALGAM: same-))

 TOMALGAM: All of his mouths, save the one on his neck, set in a thin line. After a while, he reluctantly forces out, "Tomal...gam..." His voice is hoarse and rough, and he seems to struggle to talk. Must be difficult with a mouth pressing against his windpipe.

 ((I LIVE

 TOMALGAM: eyy))

  Clutz: He jumps slightly, having been just about to ask if the poor guy was mute. "Oh, it's great to meet you Tomalgam!" He doesn't seem to pay any mind to the strain in the poor guy's voice. He's just appreciative that Tomalgam went to the trouble of projecting his voice for him.

 TOMALGAM: Nodding again, he holds out a hand for Clutz to shake. He has to stoop a little, tall babe.

 Clutz: He laughs softly and takes the tall bois hand. He's smol anyways at a nice 5'6. Taller than his mun by an inch.

 TOMALGAM: Coughs. Though his main mouth stays straight unlike him, the one on his cheek hesitantly smiles. Pure boy. Soft boy.

 ((They were both at 6'0, were they supposed to be? :0

 ((Cause I'm pretty sure my phone is just bein a butt

 TOMALGAM: oh, mustve not worked =]:/))

 ((What heights were supposed to be there?

 TOMALGAM: 7'2" and 5'6"))

 ((Ah ok!

 ((Man Clutz is tiny compared to Tomalgam

 TOMALGAM: imagine scribbs next to him))

 TOMALGAM: three foot))

 Clutz: It's okay everyone's gay in Wonderland He softly shakes the tol soft bois hand. Tall soft and small soft. Soft team.

((T INY

 TOMALGAM: The tall soft of the soft team points at Clutz various injuries with another arm, head tilted. How the fuck can one guy get so many injuries-

 TOMALGAM: imagine if tommie picked scribbs up and fucking wrapped him up in a little arm cocoon-))

 ((AaAAAA

 TOMALGAM: soMEONE NEEDS TO DRAW THAT-))

 Clutz: "Hm?" He looks at the arm. "Oh, I'm just really clumsy. I trip a lot.. Fall down stairs... A lot."

 Clutz: Hand* hecking

 ((Aw mAN I WISH I HAD ACCESS TO MY DRAWING TABLET

 TOMALGAM: He frowned sadly, that doesn't sound nice. He gently pats the soft smol's head.

 TOMALGAM: PATS,))

 Clutz: He flinches a little but smiles. He,,, Has a head injury,,,

 TOMALGAM: nnnnoooOOOOO- He sees the flinch and frick,,, he hurt him,, He pulls his hand away, fuck, he did bad. "Sorry.." He croaks out.

 Clutz: "No, no, it's okay! I just hit my head earlier." Soft comforting arm pat.

  TOMALGAM: "No..." He whines, it's all his fault. He sniffles, black liquid starting to ooze from a few of his eyes. He's a big baby.

 Clutz: PANIC. He just quickly hugs the poor boy. "No, don't cry!" Or,, Whatever he's doing,, "I-It's okay! It's really not your fault! You didn't know." He buries his face in Tomalgam's hoodie, not wanting to see the poor baby cry. "It's okay. It's okay."

 TOMALGAM: ! Snuffle.. four of his arms wrap around the boy, a tight cocooning hold. The other two wipe his eyes. Poor cuties.

 Clutz: He smiles softly and rubs his cheek against the big boy(TM). He picked up a few qualities of cats by living with a few stray ones right after everyone escaped. He still owns said cats. Man he loves cats. They're so graceful. Wait he's hugging someone. "Soft." Soft, warm and safe from all of the accidents he has. He's very rarely experienced a hug, let alone one with so many arms.

 TOMALGAM: Tomalgam has never been called soft before. Scary, ugly, sometimes even horrifying, but never soft. It makes him feel warm and fuzzy. The other two arms join their brothers around the small boy(TM).

 Clutz: He loves the affection. He's p much smothered in arms at this point but he really doesn't mind, as long as he can still breathe he's okay. He lets out a little laugh. "You give great hugs." He absolutely loves compliments. Getting them, giving them. He just loves em.

 TOMALGAM: The mouth on his neck makes a little noise of gratitude as the arms hold him tighter. Tomalgam be careful youre going to hurt him-

 Clutz: He finds it a little harder to breathe but tries to take no mind to it. He's pretty durable but any tighter and he'll have to call it quits.

 TOMALGAM: After a while like this, Tommie finally pulls away. Don't want to kill him on the first date- He looks around, he's getting tired of standing.

 Clutz: Lowkey takes in a few deep breaths of air. His legs are starting to get tired so he just sits down on the ground with a soft hum before patting the ground next to him.

 TOMALGAM: He slowly sits down, careful to not fall. This is done by crouching, and leaning forwards onto his hands as he sits. Hoo. Job well done.

 Clutz: He smiles as a silent 'good job!' before hesitantly leaning on the other. He just likes how warm Tomalgam is.

 Clutz: Plus if he's close to someone he feels safer.

 TOMALGAM: Tommie feels safer too, he remembers cuddling Good Tord. He misses Good Tord. He puts all his arms around Clutz, pulling him into his lap. Soft.

 Clutz: Oop he's a teddy now. He lays happily in Tomalgam's lap, positioning himself as close to the other clone as possible. Aw yeah first friend that isn't dead or a cat.

 TOMALGAM: Who says Tomalgam isnt a cat? He'll purr if you stroke him in the right place. He buries him face in the lil ones hair, smiling.

 Clutz: Omg He becomes a lil blushing mess. Aaa what is this affection he is receiving.

 TOMALGAM: It's affection from a big cuddle monster. Tommie isn't blushing, he probably thinks this is platonic or something

 Clutz: He does, too. He's just a lil cutie that gets easily flustered He can't help but giggle. He's a happy smol and he's gotta show it.

 TOMALGAM: Tommie laughs too, a gravelly, wheezing noise. Hoo, babe that doesn't sound healthy.

 Clutz: He's a bit skeptical but doesn't want to ruin the situation. He can ask about it later. He just adjusts his position to be a little more comfortable.

 TOMALGAM: Ruin the situation, eh? Tommie takes this moment to lay down and turn onto his side, Clutz still clutched tightly in his arms. No escape.

 Clutz: This is how he dies- He makes sure he's facing the bby as they both lay down. He rests an arm on Tomalgam, just putting the other in a comfy position. He's happy with this.

 TOMALGAM: Clutz is now his teddybear. He hasn't been this calm in fucking ages, woah. He could almost... zzzzz...

 TOMALGAM: Okay i think im gonna skedaddle for a while, seeeeeeya))

 TOMALGAM: tommie will never let clutz escape))

 [4'2"] Scribble Tom [7'2"] Tomalgam (Candy)'s connection timed out.

 ((Oh whoops. Nearly passed out

 ((I wanted to sleep anyways lmao

 Clutz: Aw fuck it's a dang sleepin party. He yawns a little and falls asleep not long after Tomalgam. Sleepy beans.

 ((And I'm off. Night babies

Torm|Clutz (Sky) [PHONE] [] disconnected

[day0one]

What they don’t tell you about surviving COVID-19

Counties where COVID-19 cases are growing fastest Republican senators refuse to back Trump’s 'treason' claim against Obama Chron logoWhat they don’t tell you about surviving COVID-19 Most people who catch the new coronavirus don’t experience severe symptoms, and some have no symptoms at all. COVID-19 saves its worst for relatively few.

ICU nurse Sherie Antoinette has seen the serious cases first hand.

The lucky ones — if you can call them that — recover, but not in the sense that their lives are back to normal. For some, the damage is permanent. Their organs will never fully heal.

“When they say ’recovered,’ they don’t tell you that that means you may need a lung transplant,” Antoinette wrote in a Twitter post. “Or that you may come back after discharge with a massive heart attack or stroke, because COVID makes your blood thick as hell. Or that you may have to be on oxygen for the rest of your life.”

Antoinette’s tweet prompted a flurry of responses from former COVID-19 patients, family of patients and nurses working on the frontline of the disease.

We have selected some of their tweets and are running them with minor editing for clarity. SFGATE makes no claims to their authenticity.

I'm currently in the hospital after having a heart attack caused by clotting that resulted from COVID 19. I have a stent in my heart and need to wear a heart monitoring vest at all times. Now I face months of recovery including physical and occupational therapy. I'm only 29.

—Dan

I went into acute kidney failure and needed dialysis. I now have asthma, chronic cough and an irregular heartbeat. I have conditions I never had before, plus I’m wiped all the time. I hope this gets better, but you [Sherie] are on the money. And, mine was considered a low-moderate case.

— Stephanie McCarroll

These are my observations (of hospitalized patients):

1) Everybody is so swollen their skin has blisters and is so tight it looks like it’s about to burst, from head to heel. And skin so dry peeling and flaky that to slather Vaseline on every shift is almost necessary — all over.

2) Everybody’s skin is weeping clear fluid and has sores and the skin just slides off with slightest turn or rub, all over the body.

3) Everybody’s blood is thick as slush. Can’t figure out what’s making it clot like that, but it’s dark and thick.

4) Everybody’s kidneys are failing. Urine dark or red, which could contribute to the swelling, but we don’t know yet.

5) Everybody has an abnormal heart rhythm. Not sure of the cause. But even without underlying heart problems, it’s not beating normally.

6) Seems counterproductive, but the ones that are not breathing on the ventilator have to lay flat on their stomachs to breathe better. And even some on the ventilator are on their stomachs. And the slightest turn for some is what leads to their almost immediate death. Bathing, cleaning and turning to prevent skin breakdown causes most to code blue, so a decision has to be made on which is most important.

7) Everyone has a Foley catheter and a rectal tube — incontinent of bowel and bladder.

8) Everybody on tube feeding. Everybody.

Never before in my entire career have I seen a disease process attack in this way.

— 20-year veteran nurse in NYC via Dr. Dee Knight

I spent 10 days on a ventilator last March with ARDS [Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome] and I'm still on oxygen. Going home is just the beginning of the next steps in recovering. Every aspect of my life has changed for the worse. Please support and help anyone you know who survived. And wear a mask!

— Nurse @liveV4Vendetta

I'm just getting over a "mild" case after over two months. There's scarring in my lower right lung and my stomach and digestion are a mess like never before. But I'm coughing way less and can take walks again.

And, btw, this is the third time in two months that I've "gotten better." I'm just hoping it's the last and it doesn't all come back AGAIN.

— Eli

I’m a nurse on a COVID floor, I caught it. I am a relatively healthy 24-year-old and could barely walk up a half flight of stairs. My blood pressure skyrocketed, chest pain was debilitating. I’m 8 weeks out and still feeling the chest pain and shortness of breath. This is no joke.

— Alicia

I had COVID for over 60 days. I’m 33 years old, was super healthy, pescatarian, 125 pounds, and ran and did yoga every day. I couldn’t walk for two weeks besides a couple steps. It was the worst illness of my life.

I didn’t realize I had COVID symptoms for weeks. Here were the early signs:

- Waking up sweaty (I normally don’t sweat at night).

- Slight sporadic chills but no fever (or I thought I had no fever bc I only took my temp during the day).

- I could smell fine but would have weird smells like metallic or gas. Also, tasted metallic in the past 2-3 weeks. Apparently, a metallic taste or smell is related to lung problems.

- Loose stool but not terrible.

— Covid teacher (To read more about her symptoms and treatment, see her blog.)

I "recovered" March 29. I was born 65 years ago with chronic bronchitis that usually popped up maybe twice a year. Now, after COVID-19, I have acute bronchitis attacks 3-4 times a month and get winded walking to the mailbox.

— Hollis Charles

I got COVID in March, and in May, developed symptoms of encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome that leave me bedridden for days at a time. I’m so glad someone mentioned this so I know that I’m not the only one experiencing this.

— @PinkkYaYa

My mom worked on a COVID ward and contracted it, spent a month in ICU. She’s lucky enough to be home now, but she struggles to get up stairs and it’s going to be a long road to recovery. Thank you for everything that you do.

— Leanne

My coworker — an otherwise totally healthy 30-year-old — is still having issues breathing, two full months later. We’ve got patients coming back to the ER after they’re “recovered” because they can’t breathe or they get a blood clot. It’s so insane.

— Andi

I had it back in March and did 6 days on a ventilator. To date, I’m still short of breath with little exertion. I have pains all over that I have never had before. I’ve noticed I don’t urinate as much as I use to. And my legs & feet keep swelling so large no shoes fit. Even flops.

— Melly B.

I’m a healthy, active 23 year-old and I still have significant lung damage two months after I’ve “recovered.”

— Laney Whitney

Yeah, my mom "recovered" mid-May, except she had *nothing* left. Couldn't even eat or drink, they wanted to surgically insert feeding tube into her stomach. I had to invoke her DNR instructions, that SUCKED. She passed May 25. Thanks for all you do, be safe, good luck.

— @DevinCojones

Worst sickness ever. Left me and my husband sick and weak for almost two months. Almost killed my perfectly healthy 41-year-old nephew. Took down a 36-year-old friend with two bouts of pneumonia. Wear a freaking mask, people. How hard is that?

—Padma’s mom

My husband and I caught COVID two and a half months ago. While my symptoms were mild, he nearly had to be admitted because he couldn't breathe, and now, a month after he's recovered, we've discovered he has PERMANENT LUNG DAMAGE.

This is not “just the flu.”  It isn't.

— Sue Mii

I had a "mild" case in February. I wasn’t hospitalized. Still extremely ill with a myriad of symptoms, including inflammation and lots of pain for 3 weeks. I have no doubt this virus causes permanent damage. Talk with someone who's had it before you decide to go without a mask.

— Leicia Faye

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