#i feel like pepper would be on good terms with the garden because . aside from tending to the crops she's growing she takes care of the

[miscgallery]

relationship web of the 7 sillies that are occupying my brain's storage space

[projectjasper]

ARCHER'S WE ARE FANCON EXPERIENCE

i promised i would share my feelings, so here they are!

first of all, while i do still maintain that the venue was too small for how beloved the series is, even with the split into two days, and i have some gripes with merch sales, the organisation was otherwise good. it was always very clear where and when you needed to go and what you needed to do, which is always great for an anxious person like me. all the explanations were in three languages too (thai, english, and chinese), so navigating the space and the benefits was easy. the little setup of things to do before the concert starts was also great - there were merch booths for all of the boys who had merch to sell (which is everyone aside from aouboom), there were photobooths with different 'we are' themed templates, there was also, of course, gasha (or, as i like to call them, gambling machines) but hey! i got some merch off of that as well, so i'm honestly not even complaining.

now, onto the actual show! it was incredible, i can hardly imagine anything that would need to be added or changed. it honoured both the series and the artists on their own in many ways.

there were multiple performances with the entire cast, including a surprise appearance of jj, tee, and pepper (or, our mattmickbeer trio) during one song, who then also stuck around to talk about their characters and favourite scenes. friendship is a huge part of the series and they did not forget that. a lot of stage backgrounds and props were an homage to the series too (the one that felt particularly thought-out to me was the background for 'truth in the eyes', which was a lush garden - a callback to the mv's concept metaphor). the couples performed both their main songs and also one cover each, which were picked out by every cp for different reasons, but all of which were great. before every main song, there was a little video with the couple's moments that encapsulated their relationship, and they were really lovely and well-done (a great way of giving the artists a second to breathe too).

i think there was also pretty much everything each of the main eight could want to do on stage. pond and aou got to dance (together as well!), winny got to rap, phuwin and satang got to sing together. at least from what they said, they were given a lot of creative liberty in terms of choosing what they want to sing and do on stage as well, so that is also lovely. all of the performances were, of course, absolutely fantastic and even exceeded my expectations in some ways.

all the little chats between performances were also wonderful and everyone (or, almost everyone) got really emotional closer to the end. we had marc crying first, talking about how much this experience means to him and thanking poon for being his first real partner, and then the floodgates just opened. poon also teared up, winny started crying because marc started crying, then he cried some more when he actually started speaking himself, then satang started crying too, they talked about how much all of this means to them and how much they mean to each other, they held hands. then dear sweet boom almost sobbed on stage and aou cried too - they were also very thankful for everything and especially each other. pond tried very hard not to cry (and succeeded by breathing out every ten seconds and twirling around the stage), talking about how happy he is that everyone loved the series and them so much, saying that the cast became like a little family, and thanking phuwin for being a great partner, and phuwin also talked about how he was afraid of having high expectations and how grateful he is to the cast and the fans. this was definitely one of those moments, which made the whole experience so much more meaningful and emotional. i also wanted to hug all of them and tell them how amazing they are 😭

the appreciation for the audience was huge throughout. pond kept putting his hand at his forehead to try to see all the fans sitting farther away, at one point aou asked for the lights to be turned on, so they could see everyone, during the last performance (which was 'we are forever'), they all came down from the stage and walked around us, waving at everyone.

after the huge three hour concert, there were still the benefits to work through, which ended up going on for five hours (until almost 2 am). the boys were all really lovely and nice throughout and i'm genuinely impressed by their ability not to let the understandable tiredness that they were all feeling interfere with their interactions with fans and each other.

so, to conclude! this was an absolutely incredible experience and i am so happy i decided to come here for the fancon (and actually managed to get the ticket). there are multiple countries they are going to next, as you know, and there will likely be more added in the future. so if you live in any of those countries, i am definitely saying you should go. and if you don't but it is within your means to go and you just weren't sure whether the fancon is worth an entire trip abroad - i am confirming that it very much is. i am confident you would not regret going.

[cottoncanb]

Sunday Kind of Love (Calum Hood Imagine)

Hey guys, I hope you're all well and taking care of yourselves. I hope you guys like this, I am a little rusty (it's been a while since I've written). This piece is special to me, not just because I can't get Calum out of my head but also because it's personal. In this, Y/N is black. I've noticed there aren't a lot of POC writers and I want to do my best to play my part. Of course anyone and everyone is welcome to read it but I did write this with black women in mind.

Synopsis: The one in which Cal and Y/N’s spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: lots of fluff

I hope you like it, let me know what your favourite part is.

Be kind to yourself, and others. I love you.

-----------------------------------------------------

Valentine’s day had never been anything special for Y/N. Maybe once or twice she and a friend had been valentines, but there was never anything romantic about it. Did she expect anything different this year? Not necessarily, because she understood the danger that came with expectations. Almost every year she expected just someone to show her interest on the stupid day, maybe buy her a chocolate bar or even a single rose. It never happened. Naturally, she lost hope as the disappointment grew over the years.

Now, though, there is a sliver of hope because she is in a relationship with Calum. It may only have been a few months of their dating but that didn't mean her feelings for him weren't stronger than ever. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like she had found her soulmate in him. And maybe just maybe this year she wanted to celebrate Valentine’s day. She wasn't expecting a room full of flowers and princess treatment (though she wouldn't be one to complain), just a romantic dinner would do.

She didn't tell Cal this, didn't know how to. The vulnerability that came with saying she wanted to be treated on that day was all too much. Cal, on the other hand, was a step ahead. He always wanted to treat his girl. This would be his chance to do it for the first time and he was not going to miss out on this opportunity. He’d planned every detail of their day, he wanted it to be perfect for his love.

Their day started with Y/N feeling his lips peppering kisses all over her face.

“Good morning to you too,” she said with a hint of amusement in her voice. It wasn't morning anymore, they had both slept in.

“Hi,” Cal said, finally bringing his lips to where he wanted most and giving her a soft kiss. “Sleep well?” he asked, nuzzling his head in the crook of her neck, pressing his lips there. A soft hum sounded from Y/N as she lifted her hand to his head, burying her fingers in his curls. They lay together for a moment, enjoying their closeness. He traced his fingertips over her arms, a small smile playing on his lips when he felt goosebumps rise on her soft skin.

“I want to ask you something,” he said, whispering even though it was just the two of them in his room. He lifted his head, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Will you be my valentine?” he said, his voice is hushed like even the smallest rise of his intonation could burst the bubble they were in. Y/N’s eyes came alive, and for a moment she was speechless. She stared back at him, waiting for him to smile and say he is joking and yet he didn’t. He was completely serious, eyes focused on hers.

“Of course I will,” her voice was small and she hoped she hid the nerves that suddenly made themselves known to her. She lifted her lips to his, pressing firmly against them. He brought his hands to her waist, fingers ghosting over the skin there before gaining a firm grasp on her waist. Their touches were soft and delicate, like the bubble they’re in. They moved with no hurry, he planted a few small kisses on her lips before catching her bottom lip between his.

He pulled away from the kiss first. “Alright, I don't want to get carried away. I've got your day planned, I'm sending you to a spa first while I set up for tonight. You’ve got an afternoon full of pampering”, he told her while rolling his body off hers. She pouted, wanting to stay in bed longer and have his body near hers but she couldn’t ignore the tinge of excitement she felt at the thought of being pampered. “I also made you breakfast, you need to eat before you leave,” he said, walking over to her side of the bed and pressing a kiss on her cheek before walking toward the door.

“And where are you going?”, finally bringing her body from the comfort of the mattress. He turned back and gave her a smile, a glint of mischief in his eyes before he sauntered out of the room. She fell back onto the mattress, smiling as she stared at the ceiling. This was her first Valentine’s day.

--------------------------------

As per Calum’s request, Y/N spent the afternoon at a spa sipping wine and being pampered. She had a fresh set of nails, threaded eyebrows, a relaxed body, glowing skin and newly braided hair. She also got her makeup done at the spa, Cal told them to make her look even more beautiful than she already is. She looked and felt good. She felt even better walking into Calum’s home with a newfound air of confidence. It probably wouldn't last long, Cal turned her to putty with something as simple as a glance.

The house was quiet when she walked in, like no one had been in it for a few hours. It was dark too, with the exception of a single light that was on in his bedroom. “Cal, you here?” she said into the empty house. Met with no response, Y/N walked toward the light and into his bedroom. On his bed lay a single box with a note and rose atop it.

“Y/N,

I hope you enjoyed your afternoon. I’ve got your gifts wrapped in here. Please put them on for me. I’ll see you at 7.

-Cal”

She set the note and rose aside before carefully lifting the cover of the box. In it lay a dress, a necklace, a pair of heels (they weren't high, he knew she didn't like those) and a set of lingerie. Carefully, Y/N picked the dress up. It's made of a delicate red silk material, she marveled at its beauty with a smile playing on her lips. Next she picked up the lace ensemble, it was light in her hands. The black material lay in her fingers, intricate patterns danced over the bralette. Giddily she set it down before picking up the rose and doing a little dance. She felt like a thirteen year old who'd just been asked out by her crush.

She didn't have much to do in terms of getting ready. Her hair wasn’t in an afro so she didn't need to style it, her makeup was done; all she had to do was get dressed. Lifting the dress, she walked to the bathroom and got ready to put it on. Once she'd removed her last article of clothing, she picked the lingerie up and ran her eyes over the dainty material. It didn’t leave much to imagination (exactly why Calum had picked it). When it was on her skin Y/N turned and faced the mirror. Her eyes glanced over her body, a look of satisfaction on her face. She dragged the tips of her fingers from her hips to her neck, admiring how sexy she felt. Next, she eyed the dress, picking it up before slipping it on. She turned and grabbed the heels that Calum had selected, they were black with a thin strap across the toe. With the necklace in her hand, she walked back to the mirror and was proud of what she saw. With one final look to the mirror, she grinned before walking to sit on the bed and wait for Cal to get her.

---------------------------------------

Cal appeared at the door of his room not long after. He was dressed in a black suit, it was an amazing fit. His hair was styled and he’d painted his nails black. He looked good. When their eyes met his breath hitched, he hoped she didn't notice. She looked perfect in his eyes. Planting himself in front of her, he held his hand out for her to take and she did. Once on her feet, Cal pressed a single kiss on her lips before bringing his lips to her ear “You look perfect.”

He led her out of his room and outside into the garden of his home. A small gasp escaped Y/N’s lips as she took in the scenery, he placed fairy lights in the trees and lanterns hung from branches. He led her to the table and pulled her chair out, kissing her shoulder before he went and sat himself down. “I’m no MasterChef, but I did try my best,” Cal said, arms waving over the two plates set before them. Lifting the cover off of hers first, her eyes met lasagna. It looked a little burnt but she didn't mind. Cal made it so she loved it. He lifted the cover off of his plate and gestured for her to start eating. They ate in a comfortable silence. Every once in a while one would catch the other staring. Y/N felt warm all over. Cal watched her with an eye of adoration, his eyes saying all he couldn't at that moment.

“Are you finished?”Cal asked, breaking the quiet that had enveloped them. She nodded and cast a smile at him, thanking him silently for the meal. He gathered their plates and took them in the house and when he returned she heard music playing softly. He was playing their song- Sunday Kind of Love. Y/N rose to her feet and met Cal who was walking toward her. He took her hands and placed them on his shoulders, snaking his around waist where they settled before he pulled her toward him.

They swayed to the beat of the song, Cal leading their movements. Y/N rested her head on Cal’s chest, she could hear his heart beating if she focused hard enough. Cal was singing softly in her ear, pausing every odd minute to press a kiss on her cheek or forehead. When the song came to an end, she lifted her head off his shoulder and looked at him with doughy eyes.

“I have something really cheesy to say”, he started, she laughed softly. “I know we haven't been together all that long but we’ve been together almost a year and this year with you is the happiest I've been in a while. That's because of you. You're like this irresistible light to me. I tried to stay away from you, believe me I did,” he paused chuckling, “but I'm happy I didn't because I get to call you my girl. You're my Sunday love. Mine. Today, especially, this means a lot. I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around but you've stuck with me and I appreciate that, Y/N. I just- I like you so much it hurts sometimes? Like I can't think straight and I want to live inside you?”. She throws her head back at this, he takes a mental picture of this moment because she looked so happy and he loved it.

“I like you a lot too, Cal.”

“No, I don't think you get it. I just- I don't know how to explain it but I just like you. A lot.”

“Yes, Cal, I get it. I really like you too.”

“But I really, really like you,” he said. Suddenly it hit him. He looked in her eyes which stared back at him fondly, a look of amusement in them as she watched him try to articulate his feelings. He loved her. He was in love with her. Once he realized it, it wouldn't stop playing in his head. It was like an incessant chant, repetitive and loud; it needed to be said.

“I love you.”

Y/N paused for a moment, he’d left her speechless once again. Hearing those words was foreign to her. She didn’t know she could be loved and here this perfect man was telling her the words she so desperately wanted to hear from a young age. Y/N grew up being told she wasn't lovable because of how she looked or acted, a bunch of stereotypes being shoved at her. She was too dark or too loud or too “manly-looking” or she wasn't someone's type because they couldn't look past her race. For a long time, this ate at her confidence, left her questioning if she could ever truly be loved for Y/N and not the Y/N someone wanted her to be. This was a lot to take in. She loved him too, of course she did. She knew it months ago when she watched him doing silly dances with Duke to cheer her up after she’d had a rough day; she just didnt know how to tell him.

“Love?” he breaks her train of thought, “I can hear you thinking from here. What's on your mind? You don't have to say it back. I understand if this is too soon, or if you just don't feel the same. I just wanted to let you know because-". She’d cut him off by kissing him. Her eyebrows furrowed with focus as she did so, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck and pulling herself flush against his chest. After pressing a few kisses on his lips, with the swipe of her tongue she parted his lips softly. He gripped her waist tighter at the feel of his tongue against hers, bringing an arm up to the back of her neck resting it under her braids and caressing the skin there.

“I love you too,” Y/N whispered, resting her forehead against his. She breathed heavily, as did he. He didn't mind. She loved him. She loved him. She closed her eyes for a moment, the intimacy getting too much. She felt like she was on cloud nine, feeling her heart pumping and trying to gather herself and calm down. He was the same. Except he stared at the woman in front of him. The woman he loved and cherished and he couldn't help but pull her onto him for a hug. He lifted her off of her feet for a moment before setting her back down, she let out a little squeal at this before looking at him once more. He brought his hand up to meet hers at his shoulders, bringing them in front of them both and pressing a kiss on them. Her heart fluttered at this.

“You love me?” he said, a childlike innocence lacing his voice.

“Yep. And you love me,” she said.

[maxmagi]

A List of My OTPs

because it's 11 and I can't sleep.

Enjolras x Grantaire a.k.a. Enjoltaire a.k.a. ExR- Les Mis

How I fell into this I don't remember now. I vaguely remember reading a crackfic of this and then everything just went sideways.

This was also the fandom that helped me realize that I wasn't exactly straight and that it's okay to not be loud about my sexuality, that I can just be.

I think that explains my attachment to this ship, not to mention just the movie's Grantaire (played by George Blagden) also shipped the characters and played his character like how he thought it should be, Grantaire loving and pining after Enjolras without the revolutionary knowing it.

Except in the fan fics, Enjolras returns his feelings and they work it out, even though it's not easy because they're both stubborn as mules. Ah, ultimate fantasy I guess. And the number of great fics here, *whistle*

Also, the Les Amis? Is amazing? Especially in the modern AUs? Like they're great friends? I love this fandom so much! Permets-tu!

Shen Wei x Zhao Yunlan - Guardian / Zhen Hun

C'mon, Zhu Yilong & Bai Yu's performance and emotions? Plus just the fact the fanfic writers of this ship are absolutely amazing? Please, escape from this pairing is impossible!

Best opposites attract trope for me. An academic by day, superhero by night in love with a roguish police chief who has no powers but whose charisma, wit, and heart can get him to toe to toe with the legends.

Also, Professor Shen Wei constantly acting like an innocent civilian and lying badly? Gold!

Loki x Tony Stark a.k.a. FrostIron - Avengers

How did I honestly get to this ship? I really can't remember what started it all. I think it must have been a Loki redemption fic where Tony Stark and Pepper broke up and something something happened. Let me tell you, the writers of this ship have written sagas and ballads of epic and sometimes confusing proportions, and that is why I fell deeper into the pit. I mean, they gotta give justice to two brilliant but chaotic characters, right? Angst. This ship has sooooooooo much angst.

Eiji x Ash - Banana Fish

My god, if you want to keep your heart intact and not be reminded of all that's ugly in the world, DON'T WATCH OR READ BANANA FISH. YOUR HEART WILL NEVER HEAL!

If you're gonna watch/read it anyway, make sure to watch something fluffy and sweet after. There's a reason that people from this fandom go, "If you've seen Banana Fish's ending, then you can handle whatever angsty show you're watching now." ~ or something to that effect. Another thing we like to say in this fandom is, "Other fandoms: Let's write a Mafia AU! Banana Fish fandom: We are the Mafia AU." Yes, all of us in this fandom is dramatic af.

Yuuri x Viktor - Yuuri!!! on Ice

Uh, does this really need an explanation? Aside from the fact that you will surprisingly find a lot of Mafia AUs here because we all know that hiding behind that beautiful face of Viktor Nikiforov is a devil capable of... tearing down your self-confidence, like WTF Viktor, don't make Yuuri cry! Also, their dance together at the end, such beautiful love.

Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood aka Malec - Shadowhunters

I never read the books and have no plans to in the near future. I just saw a video on Youtube about why Malec is life and now here I am, still reading some Malec fics from time to time.

Some stuff on the show were WTF but overall they were a really good couple who supported each other. Plus, they're a Power Couple.

Erwin x Levi aka Eruri - Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin

Not to be confused with Ereri, which is Eren x Levi, which I don't generally ship except for that one time when a writer wrote an epic fanfic series with Eren in his mid 20s and Levi in his late 20s/early 30s, reincarnation AU. Boy was that one a surprise. I did not expect that.

Anyway, I'm an Eruri fan through and through. Especially with that promise that Levi made to Erwin. And the reason he gave the serum to Armin. HE DIDN'T DO IT FOR THE KIDS YKNOW. HE DID IT FOR ERWIN. Plus, Levi, Erwin, and Hange are my special trio. Erwin's batch was really amazing.

Also, I really like the fact that the shorter and slighter person is the more badass fighter while the taller, bigger one is the more calculating and strategic one. Rocks the boat of stereotypes and all that. Bonus: how these two met. My god, what a meet-cute! 😂

Dani x Jamie aka The Au Pair and the Gardener - The Haunting of Bly Manor

It really is more of a love story than a ghost story. I dunno how to feel about this. I loved these two characters so much and I wished they had a better ending but I wasn't SO surprised because it was a horror series (Like, I was still hoping at the end that they'd be together forever but yknow...). In any case, Jamie was just awesome. And her nickname for Dani? Poppins?! God, what a lover and fighter. She was not afraid to cock a gun in a ghost's face.

... and now for my flexible BROTPs

Merlin x Arthur aka Merthur - BBC Merlin

Yeah, my brain is so chaotic multiple OTPs and BROTPs of the same pairing exist at the same time without clashing with one another or having major identity crises.

I actually really like BROTP Merlin and Arthur and also like reading OTP Merthur.

And when Merlin is paired with Morgana or Freya or sometimes even Gwaine, that's fine with me too. As long as his bromance with Arthur stays intact, because that's what drew me to the show in the first place. Personal preference. I see them as platonic soulmates.

*Shout-out to the Merthur writers though, you kept me sane during my "Post-Merlin Depression," which is actually a term thrown around in the fandom because of that horrid final season (not saying it's a good term but it's what it was called). A lot of amazing fics here, too, both Magic Reveal and Modern AU ones. Full of action and adventure too! I mean, there are boy-band-looking Knights and magic-wielding badasses!

Tim Drake x Conner Kent/Kon-El aka Red Robin x Super Boy - DC Comics

More like flexible otp. I dig Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake BUT I really really also dig Tim Drake and Conner Kent. When they're TimKon, it's like an entirely different entity from TimSteph. Ugh, hard to explain.

I mean, Kon telling Tim, "You'll always be my Robin" and Tim telling Kon, "And you'll always be my clone boy" is the shit. Also when Kon could pick out/recognize Tim's heartbeat. And when Tim nearly went mad scientist trying to bring his bestie back. Like, dudes, wtf. And at the same time, hell yeah.

Liu Kang x Kung Lao aka LiuLao - Mortal Kombat

- I see these two as more like ride or die best friends connected by fate/platonic soulmates. But also like their dynamic is so awesome, cute, sweet, badass, can't-live-without-you vibes.

Basically the same way I feel about Merthur. I like reading both romantic and platonic relationships between these two characters. Like, the LiuLao fan creators peeling off the layers of this relationship and exposing every raw nerve is beautiful.

They love diving into the characters' psyche, emotions, motivations, fears, and doubts and you get really amazed because... Aren't they just characters from a video game, you ask? Well yeah, but MK video game has several interesting storylines and the Mortal Kombat 2021 movie was just the perfect jumpstarter to this beautiful blaze.

I mean, "We swore that if we were to die, it would be together"? Hell no, you're not dropping that on us and not expecting us to create our very own spin-offs and 12-page essays on that shit. That's what we fans do, baby. And also, really, we need a shaolin monks/white lotus spin-off/prequel. We're starving here.

As this ship is the newest one on my list, it's the one I'm looking forward to the most. Not enough fan content, I tell you. Not enough. One of these days, I just might add my own.

But right now, it's past 1 and so I shall attempt to sleep.

***No images for TimKon and LiuLao coz apparently I've gone past my 10-images allowance 😤

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Making omelettes at an egg farm

Annika has an egg farm, e-i-e-i-o... On this farm she has a bunch of chickens, e-i-e-i-o!

Literally the first thing that popped in my head when Annika posted about buying the farm. I still can't believe the place is hers - and Kaisa's too - like it was totally unexpected but with how things are turning out now, I can't imagine it happening any other way!

Running an egg farm was pretty much an accidental thing. Old Mr. Elmhearst built the place about fifty years ago, becoming known as the egg and poultry man for nearby towns. Then about a few years ago, he had to go into semi-retirement for health reasons before fully retiring last year. He then sold the farm and moved away to live with family. A neighbor took care of the chickens in the meantime while waiting for someone to buy the place.

It was the neighbor, Vint, who planted the idea of Annika running the egg farm through an offhand comment. Being a farmer himself, as well as the owner of the local produce stand, keeping up the egg farm on top of that is just too much for him. He's been helping Mr. Elmhearst find buyers but it turns out that egg farmers are a niche market. Of course, Vint's willing to keep running the place on the side for as long as it takes to find a new owner, but he can only do so much.

He mentioned the dilemma to his friends, who have also been helping out in terms of keeping up and looking for potential buyers. Annika and Kaisa were hanging out at the diner with a friend when Vint approached them and the guys got to talking about the egg farm. Annika and Kaisa were aware of the situation so Kaisa offered to pass the information along to her colleagues at the hospital.

What caught Annika's attention was the money. When Vint mentioned how successful Elmhearst was in terms of the money he made, Annika was all ears. Over the next several days she did a lot of research and asked Vint about the place. No one had any idea what she was thinking - they all thought she was just curious.

Let's just say that when Annika announced that she was going to buy the egg farm, no one believed her. Even Daisy Jane and I were questioning it when she posted about it online. It's not that we didn't think she could do it - more like why would someone with absolutely no background in farming want to take on something as big as running an egg farm? Given how at the time Annika was going through a bit of a rough time, it seemed like an impulse decision. Can't blame her though, as I too would've hopped on to the first opportunity to break out of a rut no matter how out of left field it was, especially if it fell straight into my lap.

Using her life's savings, Annika bought the egg farm. She had to do some poking and prodding to get Vint and Mr. Elmhearst to sell it to her. Reluctantly, they accepted her offer, cutting the price in half and saving half that money in case Annika changed her mind. Kaisa wasn't too crazy about the idea either, but she supported Annika on this new venture, offering to help out when Vint was unavailable.

As expected, Annika had a rough transition. Up until then she had never done anything related to farming or raising chickens. She never even had her own garden or took care of more than one plant at a time. Everything was brand new to her!

No one would hold it against her if she gave up. There were many times when she wanted to throw in the towel but she said that a little voice in her head kept telling her to get back up. Annika figured that a year was enough time to figure out whether or not running an egg farm's her thing - the others weren't sure if she was going to last a few months. Again, it's not that she can't do it, it's a question of whether is this something she really wanted to do.

Fast forward about six months in and everything's changed! Things still aren't 100% smooth, but it looks like Annika's found her footing. Just when she was about to admit that raising chickens wasn't for her, she decided to give it one last go. It's still a lot of work but Annika's finally starting to enjoy it. Big plot twist, right? From finding a routine that works for her to getting more comfortable working with chickens, Annika found that running an egg farm isn't too intimidating once you finally know what you're doing.

It also helps that she has loyal customers - mainly friends and family at the moment - so that's been keeping her afloat. Even when she struggled with the farm, she managed to break even with the profits and upkeep, which is actually pretty good. Obviously she's nowhere near how Elmhearst ran the place at its peak, but if she keeps this up, maybe she'll get there in a few years. For now she's happy that she's making a profit, and that buying the farm wasn't for nothing.

Seeing the quaint little farm in the countryside with the chickens and pastoral scenery, I can see why Annika was charmed by this place. It's one thing to read about her posts about the farm online, it's another to see her run the place. Annika's always been a fast learner, but being able to pretty much run an egg farm with no experience is an impressive feat! And of course, Vint helps out whenever he can so that makes things a little easier. Annika hopes to fully run things by herself once she's got everything down.

The house is in the process of renovations since it's pretty old. Elmhearst managed to fix up the place as much as he could before selling, but there's still a lot that needs to get done. Fortunately most of what's left to be fixed isn't really anything big, but now with Kaisa in the process of moving in with Annika, she wants to make sure the house is in tip top shape before she settles in.

That's part of the reason why me and the campers are visiting here. Aside from wanting to meet up with old friends, of course. I'm always accumulating on craft materials so I try to use them up rather than let them sit in my inventory because you can only store so much stuff at a time.

Along with building stuff for the house, we also got to help Annika out on the farm. She has six chickens, nicknamed the Spice Girls because of their names - Ginger, Cinnamon, Pepper, Cayenne, Anise, and Nutmeg. Aren't they cute names? I have never been in a chicken coop before so it was an interesting experience. Still getting used to being around them - I don't know why but I'm afraid of getting pecked or bitten by them. But for the most part they're pretty tame and friendly. I can see why Annika became attached to them once she got used to them.

Yeah, I don't know how Annika does it. Honestly, I probably would've given up as soon as the chickens started acting out. Farm life just ain't my cup of tea so anyone who can run one all by themselves is impressive in my book. I'm so proud of Annika and her accomplishments!

Kaisa stops by often to drop off some of her stuff and help out around the farm. I think her moving in with Annika is for the best. She's a nurse at the hospital, working the night shift - something that her dad and brothers aren't happy with. Basically they're early birds while Kaisa's a night owl - and the guys often make fun of her for sleeping in and such. Like, no offense to those who like waking up early but why do some of them feel the need to flex on that? I'm a night owl myself and why some people see that as a flaw that needs to be fixed is a mystery to me.

Like I said, Kaisa works the night shift from 7PM to 7AM. Being a new nurse, most of the entry level positions are for nights, so you gotta take what you can get. Working nights isn't bad though, things are a bit more quiet and you get paid more. Plus it's not like Kaisa's become nocturnal - she only works three days a week - so it's not like the job's taking over her life. In fact, the night shift works out perfectly for her and she loves it!

Literally the only reason why her family doesn't like it is because it's inconvenient for them. By inconvenient, I mean it goes against what they believe. Kaisa's dad has been pushing her to switch to days now that she's been working for over a year, which Kaisa has no desire to do. It also doesn't help that her family sees the night shift as a "lesser" position because patients are usually asleep at the time despite the fact that she is just as busy and gets more benefits from the job. Now it's getting to the point where Kaisa's finally fed up with them trying to push their standards on her that it's time for her to leave the nest.

I honestly don't understand people who feel the need to push their own ideals into others. They're the kind of people who act like their way is the best and if you aren't like them, then you need to be fixed. Although a good number of them do mean well sometimes, it's just exhausting trying to get them to understand that not everyone functions like they do.

Vint also drops by from time to time to help out and check in on us. Annika credits him for being the reason why she kept trying on the egg farm. Had she been running it all by herself, she would've given up after a few days. Kaisa says he's a good guy, but has a tendency to spread himself a little too thin. Although the three of them grew up together in the same town, it wasn't until Annika became neighbors with Vint when they really got to know each other. So in a way, he's become Annika and Kaisa's mentor/older brother figure. I'm looking forward to getting to know him some more in the next few days.

In between renovations and tending to the chickens, we got to looking up egg recipes like omelettes, quiches, custards, and more. Today we made omelettes as Vint gave us a big box full of fresh dairy and produce. I'm not an expert at making omelettes so it was good practice! Though, to be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of omelettes - they're a bit heavy and eggy for me so I can only enjoy them once in a while. But I have to say, using fresh eggs and veggies really do make a difference!

Since we were feeling creative from all the building and interior decorating, we kinda threw together an omelette contest. It's always fun to come up with new recipes and share them with friends!

Pancetti made an arugula, salmon, and goat cheese omelette over toast. I don't know why I never thought of having an omelette over toast - it's genius! Plus the goat cheese and salmon balance each other well while the arugula adds a nice contrast to the flavors. I think this is my favorite out of all the omelettes we made today.

Erik's creation is a pizza omelette, a creation that's fun to put together. It's basically a pizza but the crust is a cheesy omelette. Drizzle marinara, add some cheese and other toppings and voila - pizza omelette! I made mine with mozzarella, ricotta, onions, peppers, and sausage.

Plucky threw together an omelette salad topped with a creamy ranch dressing. The omelette's made with caramelized onions and chopped up into strips. For the ranch, she made some buttermilk, added a bunch of herbs and seasonings, and drizzled it over the salad. For some reason I don't like eggs in my salad but this is an exception - especially with the dressing.

Claude went for a dessert omelette, an interesting twist that turned out great! You'd think it would end up tasting like sweetened scrambled eggs or a custard gone wrong, but it's not. It's kinda like a pudding in terms of texture, but not overly sweet thanks to the cream cheese. To add to the dessert element is coconut sticky rice, which pairs well with the cream cheese omelette.

It's been fun helping Annika and Kaisa out on the farm. Like I said, none of us ever imagined Annika, out of all people, to run an egg farm. There's still a lot that she has to learn, which she's looking forward to. It's a lot of work, but she's been enjoying it a lot. Now that I've seen it for myself, I can't imagine her doing anything else. I can't wait to see where this venture will take her!

Tomorrow's more of the same - renovations, collecting eggs, and tending to the chickens. We're also gonna make puddings and help set up for the Apple Dumpling Festival, where Annika's running an egg stand.

[simminginchi]

rules: answer ten random questions and tag ten simmers

thanks for tagging me @poanl. I love talking about myself lol

1. if you could travel one place in the world where would you travel?

New Orleans. I’ve never been and I always have wanted to.

2. what do you do in your free time away from sims?

ummm.. aside from working....gardening (as much as is possible when you’ve got a 12x6 balcony to work with). I went to Home depot today actually and got some cherry and grape tomatoes, cilantro, dill, red bell peppers, mint, kale, and jalepeno plants + some colorful annual flowers for fun. sooo I’m excited about that.

3. what other games do you play besides the sims?

None really. I like playing chess or doing sudoku puzzles while I’m on the elliptical but I don’t think those count. lol

4. how tall are you?

5′6″, apparently that’s above average height but I don’t feel particularly tall. 

5. one random interest of yours?

I love playing armchair detective, I’m love me some true crime. also I love musical theater.

6. current favourite bands or artists?

I like a lot, I wouldn’t say I have any current favorites because I hardly keep up with anything and listen to the same stuff.  I always love me some 70s and 80s music a la the beegees/andy gibb, Paul Simon, Prince, etc. Modernly I enjoy the black keys, cage the elephant, arctic monkeys, Oliver tree, asap rocky, umm idk i hate this question

7. something you’re looking forward to?

Nothing. nah I’m being dramatic. Short term: I’m excited for summer and going for long walks/bike rides on the lakefront trail. Long term: I’m excited to go to restaurant/bar and have a fucking draft beer even though I’m not a big drinker and I’m generally a homebody. 

8. current favourite films?

My forever top films: goodfellas, inglorious basterds, almost famous, red dragon, Chicago, shawshank redemption, oh brother where art thou, big fish, ...god i could go on forever I love so many movies. 

9. what food could you not live without?

coffee if that counts as a food. caffeine withdrawal is a bitch. If i had to pick an actual food, probably tortilla chips 

10. favourite series (book or movie series)?

I don’t have a favorite book or movie series so I’m going answer my favorite TV series instead because i love tv so much and everyone should watch these shows:  the wire, the leftovers (seriously go watch this right now it is so weird and so amazing and so perfect from start to finish), girls, futurama, always sunny, true detective, the sopranos, shameless (though I haven’t watched recently since emmy rossum left-- as a southside chicagoan it’s close to my heart), SVU, the good place, B99, parks and rec (anything michael schur has had a hand in basically), breaking bad, narcos, american horror story, forensic files, disappeared... again this list is endless I love TV.

I’m tagging @butternutsims @sleepywillowsims @simpeachie and anyone else who hasn’t been tagged but wants to do it!

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[travellingczechia]

Ekologický Záhradnictví (Gardening, cooking, and generally living green in the Czech Republic)

(above: some herbs and garlic on my host family’s kitchen counter.)

HERE’S something I’ve been meaning to write about for awhile: environmentalism in the Czech Republic, and in Europe in general.

Now, the Czech Republic doesn’t have the eco-friendly reputation that some European countries like France or Austria do. However, from the perspective of someone from the US, the lifestyle is still a LOT greener. Here are some differences I’ve noticed:

1. Transportation. Mainly, public transportation. For a city of 100,000 people, České Budějovice has a remarkably convenient and efficient bus network, one vastly superior to the one in my home city of over 800,000. The whole country is well connected by trains (yeah, there are delays sometimes, but it’s better than nothing) so I could travel to any city in the country or even abroad for a pretty low price. South Bohemia also has fantastic bicycling paths, which in many cases are as well marked and maintained (if not better) as the roads. 

Speaking of roads, Czechs don’t like to drive. So when possible, they make use of all these public services, as well as private bus lines. (Also, shoutout to neighboring Slovakia, which provides free train service for students. Good idea Slovakia.) 

(above: some vegetable leavings in the compost box.)

2. Waste

Czechs are so, so diligent about how they handle waste. With a few exceptions, almost every Czech household I have been in has sorted out plastic, paper, and biodegradeables. Even when a household doesn’t have its own compost, there is often a city-provided compost box to dump your stuff in. However, my second host family composted their own, and used the wonderfully rich soil in their garden. 

Another way that Czechs (and Europeans in general) reduce waste is by simply not buying as much. Rather than always trying to be stocked up on everything and anything, they buy ingredients as needed. The only time this can result in a loss is with fresh bread. Almost no one eats packaged sandwich bread, bread is NEVER frozen, and so a fresh loaf often goes stale before it gets eaten. However, all my host families have then saved that bread, dried it out, and fed it to birds or given it to people they know with farm animals. 

3. No electric dryer.  I thought it would bother me, but honestly, I don’t mind at all hanging clothes outside (especially with my view now- spot the castle turret in the background.) In the winter, we hung our clothes on a rack next to the fireplace. 

4. Gardening culture! This one is my favorite. 

One of the very few pieces of information I picked up before coming to the Czech Republic was that Czechs like to garden. When I arrived in August this didn’t seem to hold true, but now that spring has come, it certainly does. Gardening just looks a little different here. Rather than rows of identical houses with a big green lawn and a large rectangular planter for colorful, decorative flowers, Czech gardens feel more practical. Many avid gardeners live in city apartments, and hold property elsewhere for gardening. For example, my host grandmother lives in a flat, but bicycles about half an hour to her garden near our house. This allows the garden to be much bigger than if it were tucked onto a city street.

And rather than filling planters with frilly, brightly colored seasonals, most Czech gardens I have seen have been mostly edible. (Don’t get me wrong, seasonal flowers are beautiful. But I personally like the Czech way better, because if I’m going to go to all the trouble of cultivating a plant, it’s much more rewarding to have something to eat in the end.) On their garden plots, Czechs grow cabbages, cucumbers, zucchini, sweet peppers, lettuce, potatoes, pumpkins, raspberries, blueberries, currant fruits, strawberries, and apples. They plant herbs and spices to use in the kitchen, and then they actually use them in the kitchen. (My family has a bay leaf plant in the living room. I had no idea what it was until my host mom told me to go get some of it for the soup.) 

I recently read Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food, and it has given me a lot to think about. But I think many of his ideas would seem painfully obvious to a Czech grandmother. Pollan argues that gardening and preparing fresh food inevitably improves both the quality of what we eat and the impact we have on the environment. I am convinced, after reading his book and after helping in gardens here, that it would be a thousand times easier to make people care about soil and water quality and climate, if those people were paying attention to all those factors and how they affected the raspberries they wanted to put on their waffles. 

This year in the Czech Republic, the winter was extremely mild and spring came early. Everything is blooming and becoming ripe a full month in advance. This is a big deal, because people expect to eat things when they are fresh. Last week, cherries became ripe, and I immediately noticed that every fifth person seemed to be carrying an enormous number of cherries down the street with them. Before that, it was strawberries. Soon, Czechs will go out to the forests to harvest blueberries, and in the fall, mushrooms. 

(above: freshly picked mini-strawberries and some early forest blueberries on a poppyseed cake.) 

I’ve found it difficult to express this observation of greater connection to nature to Czechs. Much of the younger generation, for one, doesn’t garden or forage, and isn’t nearly as interested in the seasons as their parents or grandparents. When I have gushed to older Czechs my admiration for the freshly cooked meals, the carefully tended gardens, the bakeries with cheap, whole grain bread, and the composts, their reactions are generally along the lines of, “um... thanks?” To most Czechs I’ve spoken to, local, unprocessed food isn’t some kind of hipster luxury- it’s just what makes the most sense. That isn’t to say that Czechs don’t import pineapples year round or eat processed things, they definitely do. But there is a recognition that what is better for the environment is also healthier and tastier. I firmly believe that, for the long-term health of the planet, that is a subtle culture difference which matters. 

5. Forests. Disclaimer: Slovaks will laugh at me for being impressed by Czech forests. Also, I googled “Czech forests” to find statistics for this post, and this was one of the first results: http://www.radio.cz/en/section/panorama/environmentalists-ringing-alarm-bells-over-ailing-czech-forests

That said, the World Bank estimated that in 2015 34.5% of Czech land was forest, and that percentage is increasing. Numbers aside, Czech forests are great because they are accessible. Trails are numerous and well marked. Every castle I have visited- and there are many, many castles- have at least a small woods around them which someone living in the castle used as hunting grounds at some point. It is never difficult to get to the woods, living in South Bohemia. That is something I appreciate a lot, not just for the climate benefits. 

[stars-and-branches]

1, 7, 12, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 24, 25, 27, 30, 31, 38, 39, 42-51, 53, 57, 58 (would just love it hear more about), 60, 65, 70, 72, 73, 78-83, 90, 93 (hate this term being used outside of indigenous contexts but an animal you connect with), 94-97, 99

Answers under the cut!

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A snake, I think they’re really cool! I don’t really know enough about reptiles to be able to have one and care for it properly though.

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

I am,,,,, a fruity bitch. I like fruity candy most of the time but sometimes chocolate hits the spot.

12. Any hidden talents?

Not really hidden but I don’t talk about it a lot on here. I know how to play the piano! I took lessons for a decade.

15. Favorite board game?

Mexican train, my family plays it sometimes for game night and it’s fun.

17. Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Layerssss. It could be below zero outside and I’d still keep the windows cracked open so I can layer on more blankets.

19. Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Any song Hozier’s ever made, the My Chemical Romance Danger Days album, or just whatever is living in my head rent free. Lately it’s been sea shanties.

21. At what age did you first have alcohol?

I think I was in middle school? My Dad gave me a sip of his beer expecting some dramatic reaction and uh, that didn’t happen.

23. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

I don’t really like spending money - paying the housing deposit out of pocket is a little painful rn - so I guess $40ish?

24. What do you typically wear to formal events?

When I was younger I never had a choice and was always shoved into a dress. Nowadays I’d probably go by how dysphoric I’m feeling. I want to wear a suit at least once!

25. Favorite memory?

Hoooo boy that’s hard to pick. I guess going to see Dead and Company for a three day show at the Hollywood Bowl a year before my Mom died. We had a lot of fun, it was really beautiful, and there were a lot of good moments.

27. Favorite shoes?

I have a pair of black leather heeled boots with red laces. I refer to them as my “stompy boots”. They’re the only thing I own that emits top energy and I never wear them because they have a five inch heel and I have lots of foot pain.

30. Have you ever had braces?

Unfortunately. I got them taken off a few months ago though :D

31. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Drive. I’m the walking talking stereotype of gays being unable to drive. I almost crashed my grandmother’s car with my entire family in it. Not a fun time.

38. What color do you wear the most?

I answered this in a different ask but black. I’m trying to incorporate more colors into my clothes though!

39. Favorite season?

The rainy season where I live. For a few months the usually barren desert teems with life. It’s beautiful and the only time I can actually grow anything.

42. First car you ever owned?

I have a 2001 Honda Accord.

43. What time do you usually go to bed?

Early. My friends often give me shit for having the sleeping hours of a retiree. I used to be a night owl but I had to get up at 4am all throughout high school so I started going to bed immediately after dinner. I haven’t been able to kick the habit.

44. Are you a competitive person?

Yes but I don’t like competitions. I’m competitive in the sense that I’m constantly comparing myself to how others are doing and I try to be better than those around me. Of course, I’d never admit this out loud but the internet is fine apparently a;kjnvdfdasdvdf

45. Least favorite color?

Orange.

46. First pet you’ve ever owned?

A small tabby cat named India. I still have her, my parents got her when I was 4 months old :).

47. Sweet or salty?

Yes.

48. Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli!!!

49. Favorite kind of chips?

Limon chips. Though black pepper is a close second.

50. Talk about something you’re passionate about.

I did this in a previous ask and I’m tired so this question gets a skip.

51. What are some of your hobbies?

Baking, gardening, video games, reading, journaling, drawing.

53. Favorite kind of pizza?

Either vegetarian pizza or margherita pizza.

57. Favorite labels about you?

I take pride in my queerness and being disabled. The latter because I love the spoonie community and it’s a huge part of my identity.

58. Are you a religious person?

Yes, in the sense that I’m a very spiritual person. I’m a witch. I’ve considered myself a pagan for the past five years, and I’m currently exploring Christianity since my religious path has grown too stagnant.

60. What size shoe do you wear?

It depends on the phase of the moon just about, lmao. I wear a 6 1/2, as wide as the shoemaker can make it. I have really short but really wide feet.

65. Favorite fruit?

Yes. I love most fruits (fuck pears).

70. Favorite dessert?

I don’t really have a set favorite? If I had to pick I guess it would be a fruit tart.

72. Age you learned how to swim?

Either 6 or 7.

73. Tell a funny story.

I used to be friends with a guy who was like. Ridiculously tall. Ultra flamboyant, very loud, like if the color neon orange was condensed into a human being. In my sophomore year of highschool we sat on some bleachers during the homecoming pep rally. He refused to stand up for the national anthem. We were sitting directly in front of the football players in the most redneck school in california. I sat down with him because I didn’t want to witness him getting jumped and thrown off the bleachers. We got called a bunch of slurs through the whole anthem and screamed at. Stuff was thrown at us. They kept kicking us repeatedly. One dude was kicking his neck over and over. The football players were more of a disruption than we were. Eventually, everyone sat down and they finally got bored and stopped. Aside from the one kid who was kicking the person I was friends with, he passed time by throwing pieces of food at us. 

This kid, who I’m dubbing Dipshit McGee, kept doing this until I heard him suddenly yell, “Oh shit!”

I looked over my shoulder. My friend at the time started guffawing. Dipshit McGee dropped his phone from the top of the bleachers and it shattered into a million little pieces on the dirt below.

78. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

Usually simple things that express my appreciation. I use “I love you” a lot with my family. There’s only so many times that you get the chance to say it.

79. What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

Honestly any compliment. I’m not used to flattery so my brain just shuts down instantly.

80. Has your opinion changed on something recently?

Yup, that’s why I’m looking into abrahamic religions.

81. Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

If I go to the restaurant a lot then I’ll usually just order the same thing. If it’s somewhere new I’ll switch things up a bit.

82. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

Crochet. It’s something all the women in my family do. I have all the tools I need (except for yarn) but haven’t brought myself to work on it.

83. If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

On top of all the other stuff I’m learning? Maybe increase my cooking/baking skills! I want to work with pastry more.

90. What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

The occult, spirituality, religion. I’m always chasing after knowledge in those areas.

93. What’s your spirit animal?

Yeah, I hate this term being used in a non-indigenous context too. As far as an animal I connect with goes, it’s a tie between snakes and cats. Cats because I love them dearly and have connected with them my whole life, we vibe. Snakes because I love their spiritual significance: connection to the earth, constantly shedding their skin and changing.

94. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Managing to steer the car away from crashing in the incident I mentioned in 31.

95. Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

No mess at all, preferably. I like to keep my space relatively tidy. Mess makes me really stressed.

96. Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

All three.

97. Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

I’m more of a planner. Spontaneity is very difficult for me but I’m trying to improve.

99. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to romanticize the small parts of my life, to find joy in even the simplest of things.

[marjorieterry90]

Cat Spray You Tube Wondrous Ideas

Boredom can be great techniques to minimize these instances.His attention will soon be more than once per month.Begin brushing at the kiddy condos, cat trees can be used, which are more effective than scolding, and can help you to do this as an enzymatic cleaner that will help you and your cat is also very harmful to cats.Antiseptic lotions can also place multiple litter boxes is that it does scratch the post, be sure to check out his natural instincts.

Do not rub it but the most looked over and over the area.Keep in mind that old skin is not a game show buzzer.These caps are rounded on the counter sprays and chemicals.However, the best flea and tick products on sale.But keep in mind that you don't want you to be like a snake.

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Cats are naturally inquisitive creatures and love to chew on plant material, and will think you would like to sharpen their claws and that of your family.* It was better to use it, there could be because of the time to enjoy themselves as they stretch the muscles in their garden.Hitting or yelling at a shelter adoption.To teach your cat to use and should occur about twice a day playing, massaging, combing, and petting your cat.The Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap has a problem.

Keeping kitty's nails trimmed will certainly help with their own room with the proper way to get the message and find your cat gets scared and move to eliminate them and let dry.An old ladder, properly anchored into the garden area, it nevertheless lays claim to keep them happy.Some felines never learned to be a certain genetic constitution have been found in the cat with the hair line to try various techniques until you can't afford premium products, at least something and all seemed responsive and alert.Pour one of these simple tips and you can to sharpen their claws indoors either because they attract cats like Maine Coons or Norwegian Forest Cats to get mad.You need to empty the whole floor, a black eyeliner extending past the edges of wood.

If medication is usually a regular schedule of feeding privileges.To help stop the cat wears a collar, the owner of a good opportunity to take photos of your home.In fact, the cat urine in the heat and humidity have returned.Keeping your cat might have possessed, tasers, pepper spray, knives, or even killing your garden is to ensure good cat urine is urea.Giving them a description of your neighbors are feeding daily, they are easier to use it.

Hopefully, your cat has urinated in the room.It is advisable to keep them in an appropriate replacement to scratch a child.If you do see them, realize that they do it?You spent a small cat and rub the stained area with salt water afterwards so no infection develops.In 2000, the BBC conducted some cat toys means he or she is pregnant.

Alternatively, citrus scented cat repellent to the smell of the climbing portion which will increase the effectiveness of treatment methods: flea collar, but the cat into your cats every day and into the sink and will force your cat to the sicknesses.In fact, vets often see dogs and people, steroids are tolerated quite well and doesn't fight back.Catnip affects some cats absolutely refuse to use on your carpet.Topical flea treatment for feline health does not work, you may be very aggressive in behavior.It is inevitable...cats are curious...and they are expressing themselves in ways that I was determined not to be well aware of and get depressed when unable to reproduce.

Cat Peeing To Much

Always situate your post in front of the offending area using paper towels, so that she may be one of these measures could definitely help you understand your cat.Do you have a long term removal of the mat is a broad category and there are products which will multiply quickly and helps moisture to soak in there.It can be fixed in unneutered male cats, the it is advisable to inform people that have been doing this until he or she has finished her business.And, yes, he was now listening intently as dogs are, it is almost mandatory.As we all know cats have a problem with your decision and read up on the cause can greatly help to make homes are filled with beads that make a huge loss for us.

Another rather interesting one is the surgical removal of the spot again!The sensation of stickiness on your face with flour or talc powder.For instance, have you gone into a pet that accepts as a tub.The price of cat training in 10 minutes before and not make your cat is doing so, not to overburden it.Homeowners preferring to take note of is a happy multiple cat household but the steps to prevent instead of alleviating a problem people have shared living quarters for thousand of years, and with a good groomer who will not only help the new bowl and litter box, it may not want to do is to visit my first recommendation.

Occasionally, a cat urinates on the affected portion of the biggest disadvantages is in the soil of your furniture that may have a minimum of once the gifts are opened, diving and scattering wrapping paper or two-way tape around the post and do not get into it to remove cat urine out of your family loves cats.A word of warning: Once your cat as calm as possible to reverse poor behavior of cats and we were in the beginning to try and get rid of the urine smell from your doctor.This practice is neutering, but many people who have taught Tabby to leave stains on the market that can produce a litter tray so that your cat will not fight with another although it would do no harm to your help, realistically, there is no longer be the only cat owner has to be replaced once every month during the day.The next morning at 7:00 AM to collect them.The boxes should be placed in your bedroom!

Aside from food, you may need to look for that loveable kitten or cat, it is up to 72 hours.Ammonia should never get to long then you should have all four paws placed on the ground.If you have sufficient space where it should take into account when choosing fabrics and rugs.Yes, cats aren't as lavish and obvious in their paws into the ground for the new tree, and bit by bit bring it nearer to a regime of drugs and allergy shots.They are very social and enjoy the company of other wild animals, unsuitable food and especially water are left out.

In this case you should decide whether to keep your cat goes potty in the house.In addition, it may be easier to use its litter box problems involve everything form urine on various things is one of these are not home, try to turn your house with the cat's bloodstream and some are better than growing from seed, as your furniture with the necessary incentive to use it to show her love or at least ten minutes so that a cat will respond best when hungry and craving for food.So if you spray it on the carpet and left for a cat owner.Has a member of your home, place the scratching should begin.Usually, owners signed documents promising to have any negative effects on different surfaces.

There are many other techniques that are known for their entertainment.That way when your cat may show signs of pain while urinating.to use this to be that once started is not spraying.The sticky, tacky part of the best choice for your precious pets can become inflamed or irritated and sneezing is caused by saliva on the affected area.Also make sure to talk with your cats biting attacks, and of course, to solve this cat behavior problem.

How Can I Get My Cat To Stop Spraying

If you have sufficient money to get rid of all when it detects their chips, and they will stay that way.Your cat thus risks to have all four paws placed on the desk in the games yourself.There are over the area, and then later decide they would like.Fortunately, with the complete cat, with many years of evolution cats still face a series of rabies shots, which are more effective spot cleaning.The simplest way is to use the litter box is not out of control system for a snake and stay away.

Have your pet's fur and dander {Dead Skin} but know that they're doing something they should not punish him.This scar tissue as a kitty, and maybe somehow he feels the urge to urinate.If you have a lot of cat training in ten minutes so that they all need to be effective.If she climbs your curtains, you can usually notice an improvement as the cat bad breath, it's helpful to have to decide what you already have, at least a dirty box doesn't help!One effective method to deter that the body with yours because she could eat or drink without coming out.

[rilenerocks]

Hi Michael. It’s that time of year again. That time you always hated when I was so, so very hot and sweaty and thus, always had the air conditioning turned down, the overhead fan turned to high and the small floor fan churning away all night long. Like living in a wind tunnel, you’d say. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that nothing’s changed. I climb into our bed, each night, still on my side, yours untouched, with the dull roar of all my cooling machines as my companions. The thin sheet quivers in the breeze. You’d hate it. I’m physically comfortable and I lie there, thinking. Look at this headline from an article I read this evening.

Scientists Have ‘Woken Up’ Microbes Trapped Under The Seafloor For 100 Million Years

I mean, really? While I was trying to wrap my mind around the impossibility of those numbers and the subsequent life options they revealed, I suddenly hoped that meant we had a chance of reuniting somewhere in this mystifying universe. Certainly our collective and relatively young microbes have just as good a chance at survival as those ancient ones. I’m positive that your microbes are all over our house, our garden and in the few personal items of yours which I’ve stashed away. There might be a few hairs in your brush. I wouldn’t care which version of us we’d be, young or old. Ish.

So then I was thinking about all the tiny details of life I’d normally tell you every day when you were still here in the flesh. I mean, I like your constant cosmic presence, but I usually turn to that with just the most important stuff. I’ve been dying to share with you all these strange little nothing thoughts that cross my mind. Mostly, no one has ever been able to put up with the endless stream of seemingly random, disconnected thoughts that pour out of me. My sister, Cheryl is probably the next best listener after you. As my younger sibling, she was well trained in the absorption of my peculiar brain workings. I’m lucky she’s still here. But there’s just nothing like you for that bottomless reservoir of acceptance which  you provided for me. Isn’t it ironic that we both know you’d be appalled by me releasing all this private information into the faceless universe? I mean, I know some people who read my blog but mostly, they’re strangers. Honestly, except for a few private spaces in myself that defy language, most of the rest is just irrelevant in the long run. What impact do our little quirky selves have? I know you’d disagree but I need to survive now, in my own way. So here are a few random thoughts that beset me as I lie in our bedroom, my favorite space, while my mind wanders in the wee hours after I’m done reading, wishing I could talk to you above the whir of the fan blades spinning around me.

You’re the only person who knew that while I was listening to WLS radio during my pubescent and teen years in Chicago, I wasn’t just a rock and roll/rhythm and blues kid. I also liked gospel, jazz and classical music. I still remember that when you were working at the Record Service, you kept track of my favorites and made sure I always those albums in my stash. And then, you updated them to CD’s so I didn’t have to wear out my vinyl. I’m still listening to lots of different genres every day. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this bizarre pandemic time without it.

Here’s another weird thing I’ve noticed lately. I don’t watch much television during the day. I turn it on for a few minutes when I get up in the morning, mostly a defensive move to make sure nothing impossibly earth-shattering happened overnight. That’s how things are right now – every day seems to bring a story that’s incomprehensible. Today the story was that after the worst economic quarter ever reported since they started measuring these things, Trump suggested that perhaps we shouldn’t hold an election this fall. This guy will sling any idea that he thinks will get him a second term. As an historian, you just wouldn’t believe how this country has devolved since you’ve been gone. Anyway. When evening rolls around, I’m tired from being outside most of the day. After dinner, I watch the news and then scroll through the tv guide, looking for anything that might distract me, amuse me or otherwise edify me in some way. Lately, I’ve realized that virtually every day, The Godfather, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Gladiator is playing. Often they’re on at the same time, while other times, they’re staggered. It’s so peculiar. Usually I watch bits of all of them. By the end of the week I’ve seen them in their entirety, albeit out of order. I’ll also pause for Sense and Sensibility, The Princess Bride, Pride and Prejudice or any Errol Flynn movie. Makes me laugh. If you were here, you’d be doing the same thing with The American President, To Have and to Have Not, You’ve Got Mail or The Maltese Falcon. Also Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, or Stand by Me. I’m working my way through a decent number of tv series that I missed when we were too busy to watch them. But recently, I’m needing revolution. I’ve got “Z” and Battle of Algiers on my DVR. I probably don’t need to get more cranked up than I am these days, but I guess that’s too bad. Watching them anyway. I wonder how any new shows will be made for the fall? Better not go down that rabbit hole. They’re probably not going to happen.  

I want you to know that in your honor, I have loyally kept up with a smaller version of your food garden. Not just the perennial herbs that still marvelously appear and make me feel that it’s you who’s emerging through our rich dirt. That’s kind of absurd because your ashes are sitting in a beautiful box in the house waiting to some day being mingled with mine. Then we can be in the garden together. That aside, I’ve also been diligently planting and nurturing the annual herbs and vegetables, although at the moment, I’m losing the vegetable battle with the squirrels and rabbits. I’ve managed to get about two dozen cherry tomatoes off the vines while I try to ignore the smushed ones on the ground with one bite mark taken before abandonment. All the low-hanging large tomatoes have been filched along with the green peppers. I’m holding out hope for ones that are a little higher on the vines.

I’m really missing your cooking, though. Yesterday, I started ferreting around your recipe folders and dug out the one for pesto which, by the way,  wasn’t labeled. I’m going to make it. I don’t have as much basil as you would plant so I don’t expect to be spooning the mixture into ice cube trays that we could pop out of the freezer for pastas and pizzas. But I’m going to get it done. You really spoiled me. The good news is that I knew it and let you know. So there’s that.

Meanwhile, I’m being really mindful about enjoying every bloom in my flower world. I wait impatiently to make sure that my perennials return and get so happy when they show up. Then I try not to get sad because soon they’ll be gone. That’s something I have to work on – if I’ve learned anything, I know I need to stay in the present. So I’m out there a lot, with the butterflies and the birds, chasing them around with my phone to get good photos that I hope will be comforting in what I expect will be a socially distanced winter.  

Regarding the birds. So far, since spring, there’ve been 50 species in the yard. I don’t know if you’d recall that I started drawing them and filing them in a binder called The Yardbirds. I know you’d get the music reference. Anyway, my renderings are improving. If I practice, I’ll get better. Here are a couple of my recent ones.

I’m really happy that I’ve created a great bird habitat in the yard. I’m learning a lot about their behavior. I love watching the hummingbirds and the house wrens. Tiny, but mighty. I’ve grown fond of catbirds which are showing up regularly at the feeders. They’re perky and curious and pretty brave.

I’ve done something pretty dumb, as getting attached to wild animals doesn’t bode well for a happy emotional outcome. But I’m very fond of the cardinal pair that lives here year-round. After a rousing rescue of one of their fledglings last week, I felt so familial with them that I decided to name the strikingly beautiful female who comes for here daily for a dip in the birdbath. I’m calling her Pumpkin. Now, how absurd is that? I like her boyfriend too.

Another thing I did after a good deal of thought was sell your beloved bike. That was hard for me. I know it was just a thing but you loved it so much. I heard your voice in my head saying, “don’t be ridiculous – it’s just sitting there being wasted. Get yourself some extra cash.” So I did. But I took photos first. All these things I have to do. When I lie in bed in the night, I think about how much easier it is to share the loads of life. I miss that a lot although I’m glad I have what it takes to manage on my own. I think back to my mom after my dad died. By the time she was my age, she’d been dependent on me for almost 5 years. Makes me shudder.

How could I not tell you this most important thing? Our daughter, who went from working remotely to having to appear in person in a closed courtroom, found out the other day that a court clerk had tested positive for Covid19. She was asked to leave her office, get tested and do another 14 day quarantine. Then the judge in charge pf hearing her cases tested positive as well. Ugh. That meant that all the rest of our little family bubble had to be tested too. So far, she and our son got negative results. Our son-in-law, both grandsons and I await our results. I hope we’re all negative and can resume our little intimate enclave. The months ahead look daunting to me. The virus is traversing the country at will with no definitive treatments or vaccines. I dread flu season adding to the complexity of everything. Feels positively medieval.

  In other news, I got an email from the park district informing us that the indoor pool was reopening immediately. The list of precautions and requirements is very long and detailed. I read it carefully while keenly aware of my longing to get back to swimming. In the end, I’ve decided against it. I just don’t think being in an indoor facility shared with high school students can be safe enough for someone like me, a member of what I call the “death group.” So I’ll just have to know that a block and a half from our house, people will be paddling away while I won’t. This adult decision-making of risk vs. reward is overrated.

In other news, I actually wish I was more like my mom in her widowhood. She used to talk a lot about how all she wished she could do was hold my dad’s hand one more time. Lucky her. I remain deeply interested in resuming our intimate life for another 30 years or so. I hope if this reaches you, you’ll be glad to know that some of our best things are strong enough to survive death.

So that’s all for tonight. By the way, I thought you should know that I just restlessly flipped on the television. There is Gladiator in the midst of the re-creation of the battle of Carthage. Round and round it goes, my dearest boy. Until next time.

A Message from the Wind Tunnel Hi Michael. It’s that time of year again. That time you always hated when I was so, so very hot and sweaty and thus, always had the air conditioning turned down, the overhead fan turned to high and the small floor fan churning away all night long.

[benjamingarden]

How We Cut Our Grocery Budget In Half (without couponing)

I shared how we paid off our debt with meal planning last week and now I want to share with you the tips and tricks I used (and mostly still use) to trim our grocery budget to less than half of what it had been. A quick recap.  Because we had accumulated a fair amount of debt we were stuck in a cycle of paying the minimum or just above the minimum due.  Living on a pretty tight budget, the only place we could find to free up money to start to attack this debt was within our grocery and food budget.  I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do this, all I could do was to hope I could figure it out. And figure it out I did.  We successfully freed up extra money and paid off all of our debt!  (not the mortgage - just over $10,000 consumer debt)  Although I cringe to tell you this number, I will share what our previous grocery bill was......  We went from spending $140.00 - $200.00 per week down to $60.00 per week (food only, excludes paper products & toiletries).  We are no longer in debt (except our mortgage which we are working to pay off early) and our average weekly grocery bills now total $60.00 - $80.00.  We cook all 3 meals at home each day, so this amount is for all food, including any eating out. Regardless of whether or not you have debt to pay down, cutting dollars from your grocery budget will allow you extra money to use or save.  Although it does take some work initially, it becomes a new normal quite quickly! 15 Techniques For Cutting Your Grocery Budget In Half: (includes affiliate links) Don't Buy Beverages One of the quickest ways to put a dent in your budget is right here.  Drink water.  If you are currently drinking bottled water, free up some money so you can invest in a small system (like a Brita) to filter your own.  This will save you some money very quickly.  If you are currently purchasing bottled beverages, think outside the box to figure out a cheaper alternative. Don't Buy Cold Cereals And if you do, only purchase them when they hit a rock-bottom price and then stock up.  Cereal pricing is quite high so finding an alternative for breakfast will be a big savings.

Plan Simple Meals With Inexpensive Ingredients Selecting meals that use a limited number of inexpensive ingredients will help to save money (and time).  If you can put a few of these on the menu every week you'll notice a difference in no time. Write A Weekly Meal Plan I've written about meal planning here, here and here, and I can tell you that this is the best way to control your grocery budget and ensure you can get meals on the table every day.  It may seem daunting or like something you don't want to fit into your life but I found out the hard way that if you stick to it, it eventually becomes a routine part of your week.

Inventory Your Pantry, Fridge, & Freezer Before meal planning take an inventory for two reasons: 1. to use up any perishables you have left so they don't go to waste and 2. so you are using items you've stockpiled in your pantry and/or freezer in your meal plan, saving you money. Stockpile Good Deals We aren't talking about hoarding here, instead, buying items in a larger quantity than you need when they hit rock-bottom pricing.  Items that can be stored in your freezer or pantry for long-term use.  Set 5-10 dollars per week aside, if you can, to devote to stockpiling.  This becomes a money saver because you will pull from your inventory for meal planning, rather than buying the item, and when you do purchase the item you'll be buying it at a discounted amount.  Read more about this concept here. Use A Cash Budget For Groceries Determine what amount you can afford and place that amount in an envelope.  Do NOT use your debit card or credit card - the cash you've got is all you can spend.  If you have any cash leftover, place that back in the envelope for the next week's budget for additional money available or to allow for stockpiling on good deals (see above).

Use Meat Sparingly This takes some time to get used to, but think about it this way.  If you serve meat on it's own, you will usually eat a lot more meat than if it were a part of a dish.  As an example, if you cut up chicken and thread kabobs with chicken, cherry tomatoes, zucchini and onion and serve this with a small amount of whole grains (rice, quinoa, etc.) you can easily eat a half a chicken breast or less because of all the veggies. If instead you marinate the chicken breast, grill it, and serve the meat with a side of veggies and a side of whole grains, you will likely eat more chicken because seeing it cut up any smaller would make you feel deprived. Incorporating meat chunks into pasta, rice, quinoa or other whole grain dishes will provide you a way to fairly easily use it sparingly. Plan For Leftovers And Use Them When we first started down the road of frugal eating my husband was completely against leftovers.  I mean, wouldn't eat any at all!  We discussed it, but I couldn't get him to change his mind.  I would eat them for my lunches, so that made my lunch a lot easier to prepare every day.  Then one day he suggested he could take some leftover chicken enchiladas to work for lunch.  He liked it and the it certainly helped that the other guys were a bit jealous as they smelled it heating up in the microwave.  That got the ball rolling and he was then ok eating leftovers for lunch a couple days per week. Particularly if you're making a casserole or something similar, it's so cheap to make a tad bit more to have for 1 or 2 lunches as opposed to what the typical lunch items would cost.  And if you've got a spouse who's willing to eat leftovers at dinner, it's not only a cost savings but a huge time savings too! Go Out To Eat Once In A While How in the world is this saving money?? you ask.  Well, in order to not feel deprived, planning a night out from time-to-time is a great way to celebrate your frugal budgeting.  The meal out should be planned ahead and worked into your weekly budget.  The way we do it is we eat from our pantry, fridge and freezer for the most part of the remainder of the week.  We also select affordable restaurants and decide ahead of time how much we will spend on dinner (with tip).

Shop Weekly Store Sale Ads When meal planning, after you look at what you've already got on hand in your pantry, fridge and freezer, the next stop is the weekly store ads.  Items that are featured on the front and back are usually at rock-bottom pricing. Shop At Multiple Stores Because you are working with multiple store sales ads, you may end up shopping at grocery stores not regularly on your shopping route.  For your other items that are not on sale, purchase them at the stores where they are cheapest.

Eat Meatless A Couple Days A Week I know, I know.  This is probably listed in any and every grocery bill slashing hack you've ever read.  But it's there for good reason - it really helps reduce costs while still getting a fully nutritious meal.  You don't have to live with meatless meals forever, just until you start to get a good grasp on your finances and until you have a nice stockpile created. My husband is not a fan of meatless meals so I would create meatless versions of what I was cooking for me a couple days a week and serve the meat to him.  I didn't mind at all and as long as I didn't have to amend the recipe except for the protein, it wasn't difficult at all! Keep A Few Inexpensive & Quick To Make Back-Up Meals On Hand It is inevitable that you will forget to defrost something for dinner, forget to prep something that needed to be prepped, have a life event come up which leaves little time for dinner, or simply don't want to eat what's scheduled on the menu.  Those are the times when expensive last minute options are usually selected.  In order to prevent a budget buster, keeping inexpensive ingredients on hand to prepare a simple dinner that your family will enjoy, will be a huge life saver.  Things like jarred spaghetti sauce and a box of pasta, or a frozen pizza, or a bag of frozen veggies and rice. You can also choose to keep a few freezer meals on hand that, if they aren't used in an emergency, get worked into the regular meal plan the following month.  Rather than making special meals for freezer meals, simply make 2 of a couple meals each month and eat one and freeze one.  Shephard's pie, Enchiladas, Pasta with Sauce and Meatballs, or Meatloaf will all freeze and cook up beautifully.

If You Have The Space & Desire To Grow Herbs Or Veggies, Grow Either What's Most Expensive Or What You Eat The Most Of Most people don't have the time, space, or desire to grow all of their vegetables.  I get it.  If you have some space and some desire, however, you can save yourself some money by growing what's most expensive for you to buy at the store or farmer's market and/or what your family eats the most of. Tomatoes, herbs, eggplant, peppers, and potatoes are what we first started with when we lived in a condo.  I planted them in our flower beds, partly because I didn't have space to devote to a garden and partly because of compliance with condo rules.  We weren't able to grow all we used but we were definitely able to grow enough to make a difference.  Plus, is there anything better than picking your own veggies and herbs from your backyard?  A quick note - just make sure your planting area is safe from pets (going to the bathroom and/or eating) and spraying of herbicides/pesticides.

Cutting your grocery budget drastically isn't easy and isn't always enjoyable.  It takes some work to come up with creative ways to make things from very little.  Honestly, the stockpiling is really the key to keeping it going.  It allows you to eat a little better, and allows for some breathing room. I sincerely hope you are able to find some new ideas for getting your own grocery budget under control.  Getting a rhythm of how you can save money on groceries will also help if you have weeks where you find it necessary to cut your grocery budget even more for a period of time.  I remember feeling a bit helpless and lost when I first started this process and how much of a relief it was once I began to get a good system in place. What tips and tricks have you used to slash your own grocery bill?  We would love to hear it!!

How We Cut Our Grocery Budget In Half (without couponing) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[patronsaintofprincesses]

Hey can you answer all 64 questions for me? Thanks 😘

I’d like to thank @unluckymess for indulging me, and my need to lay myself bare on the internet and talk a bunch, you’re the real MVP, an excellent friend. 😚

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Mm yes, in a way. I like to have my bases covered so, I believe that I’m not real, and I believe that I am real but in a simulation and I can believe that I’m not real and still in a simulation and I can believe that no one is real and I can believe that only the simulation is real and I can believe that everything is real and I can believe that simulations aren’t real etc. So, sorta.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 3. But I’m not afraid of the dark, I love the dark, it’s the people that misuse the dark that I pity and loathe. The dark is comforting, and natural– I love the dark.

3. The person you would never want to meet? Let’s be honest, Mr. Cheeto-Fingers #notmypresident guy is the most distateful man I’ve had the pleasure of never meeting. I’d like to keep it that way.

4. What is your favorite word? Settlement. Someone asked what my favorite word was in oh 8th grade? and my mind scrambled and said settlement and I stand by that brain scramble lol.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? There’s a Celtic thing that says Hazel and there’s an astrology thing that says Pine mm however, I’d want to be a Peach tree v:

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Can I brush my teeth later :“)

7. What shirt are you wearing? A pale pink tee that says “Nevermore” in antique lettering and has a Raven opening it’s beak to caw.

8. What do you label yourself as? THE Boring Princess. San THE Bore. I own my dullness, I enjoy my royal duties in the Boring kingdom.

9. Bright room or dark room? D a r k but with a pink antique garden quilt covered in flowers and blackout/ lace curtains and dark wood furniture and glass end tables and ceramic vases in olive and navy filled with dahlias and white silk flowers.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Reading. Messaging @barnsburntdownnow @silver9mm (I adore you ma'am)

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 16 was a good age, graduating high school and being District Spelling Champion has been the highlight of my life so far ;)

12. Who told you they loved you last? @unluckymess and I love you as well 😇

13. Your worst enemy? Evita Perón said Time, but I don’t want to plagiarize. I have to say, energy then?

14. What is your current desktop picture? My pup, he’s turning seven on December 11th!

15. Do you like someone? Sure I like a lot of people :) but I’m not attracted? to anyone really, since I’m abstinent until marriage and real commitment-phobic so 😅

16. The last song you listened to? The Most Peculiar Day of Your Life by the Hoosiers. (my third favorite band)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? myself, probably

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Also myself le mao.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? I’d choose Kim Jong Un and I’d have him sign over the dictatorship of North Korea over to me and get those people some gotdamn internet and H-E-Bs.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my eyes are pretty expressive, I’ve been told.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I’d probably be really scruffy, with curly hair, tortoiseshell glasses, and be real sweet. I’d go to several bookstores, chew on my pen cap, mope about looking artsy, I’d cry a lot, and probably blog about toxic masculinity. I’d try out the whole masturbation as a guy thing and also the whole prostate thing, and then get drunk at a bar.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. Everyone knows everything about me at this point le mao.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Getting exactly what I want? Is that unique? Mm dying and the headstone people misspelling my name so my gravesite/cremation urn says Sam Hernandez. Ugh.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. !!! My go-to, is whole grain bread, egg white, spinach, mozzarella, parmesan, green bell pepper, tomato, cucumber, mushroom, and ground black pepper.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I’m going to give it to my mum, so she can gas up her car ^^

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Australia, to get bitten by the elusive taipan

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? PINA COLADAS. um rum? Uhhhhhhhhhhh premixed Pina coladas???

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Always be humble and kind.  

29. What is your favorite expletive? Bless Your Heart

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? The smiley face zipper case I keep my photograph print outs in.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Mmm I feel like saying my birth is a bit too gallows, so I’m going to say, agreeing to marry my ex-fiancé.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Tibet?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? I’m going to ask for a business card à la Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2), be proactive, because when my mother passes, I can bring her back. I told her that she has to outlive me and I meant that.

34. What was your last dream about? Falling

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? My buddy, I’ve never been good at anything in my life. I’m an excellent speller, a reading prodigy, and average in every other aspect.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes, thrice during manic episodes. Twice for when a dog bit me.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Nope. I have yet to see snow

38. What is the color of your socks? I’m not wearing socks but I only like grey socks and beige liners

39. What type of music do you like? Alternative/Country/UK Pop/Rock

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets, please and thank you.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Coconut cream pie, from Sonic (after dark)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) TEXAS. T E X A S

43. Do you have any scars? Oh yeah, plenty ^^ on my face, my arms, my foot. I’m kind of clumsy and I don’t mind scars so I never applied the vitamin E.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? A graduate lol all joking aside, a librarian? A kept girl? A strong, independent bookworm? Something alright.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’d like to have been born in the 33rd century. (mm if not possible, then I would like to be indestructible) (if not feasible, then I guess I’d like to have perfect night vision)

46. Are you reliable? No

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? “What is the most profound thing we have said thus far?”

48. Do you hold grudges? Nope

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dragon (uh a scary bone eating bird with a nice, sweet snake)

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? The first time I discussed anything with my conscience? Mm really, any conversation I’ve had with myself has gotten pretty unusual.

51. Are you a good liar? HA maybe over text but irl I begin to giggle and avert my eyes and it’s awful no one let’s me get away with anything

52. How long could you go without talking? I went a whole day once for the GLSEN Day of Silence in April 2012. Maybe I could go longer? Mm I’d like to be mute. That would be interesting.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? They’ve all been great, particularly the ones I cut by myself from 2008-2012 I don’t know what you are trying to imply c:

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Is this a euphemism?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Sort of an English accent, and sort of an Australian accent. Oh but I have a natural accent when speaking Spanish and a Texas accent pops up with some words in English.

56. What do you like on your toast? Fr e sh avo cado (free Sha vacadoo) obviously (if unavailable, I’ll take honey, cinnamon, butter, sugar, beans, eggs, strawberry jam, peach preserves etc.)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A lady, for @silver9mm@barnsburntdownnow for LETTER #6

58. What would be you dream car? An Aston Martin is what I liked in 2008—actually my dream car would be an indestructible flying bathosphere that could also teleport and drive itself. I’m waiting, 2020.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I do sing, mm well ahem, I don’t like showers I like baths. Sometimes I’ll turn off the lights and bathe in the dark, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or hopeless or I just don’t know who I’m fooling etc. Sometimes I’ll play music and place my phone facedown on the tub, let my head sink beneath the water, and the sound vibrates/echoes throughout and it is so settling. Ahem, sometimes bathing is my me time, where I’ll let my mind wander to something racy, and with the steam fogging up my mind I’ll get helplessly turned on, and just lounge in the hot water fluttering my inner muscles until I either orgasm or cry lol.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yes. But do aliens believe in me? Lol.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? No but I do like those moodboards/aesthetics/text posts concerning my signs 😇

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? R in middle school, X in high school and now, probably S.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs are neat but I’m a Dragon! kinda gal.

64. What do you think about babies? Cute and scary and gross and wonderful and delicate and perfect and miniature and I want none and ten

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. Message me 👻 I’ll answer anything y'all.

If y'all would like to send me any other asks (anonymous or public) I tag them as Ask Thing and I’ll answer literally everything. Thanks y'all!

[fashiontrendin-blog]

My Not-So-Secret Recipe for Cultivating Adult Friendships

http://fashion-trendin.com/my-not-so-secret-recipe-for-cultivating-adult-friendships/

My Not-So-Secret Recipe for Cultivating Adult Friendships

I

t’s 8 p.m. on a Friday night and my husband is cursing at a pot of pasta. A few feet away, perched on a sagging IKEA couch, my ex-roommate’s ex-lover is planning a backpacking trip with my high school theater camp buddy’s husband’s college friend. Behind them, a drag king comes in late from “genderqueer jiu jitsu” and hugs a 10th grade English teacher, returning her copy of The Body is Not an Apology. An ex-coworker from who-knows-how-many-jobs-ago is pouring more wine for the previously mentioned high school theater camp buddy while asking to join her blacksmithing class, while another ex-coworker is snuggled up in an armchair with an actor I once directed in a touring production of Romeo and Juliet. I am setting the table with my grandmother’s good silver and all is right with the world. Welcome to Frambly Dinner.

“Frambly” is the term we came up with to describe our family of chosen friends and the brambly way we all ended up entwined, but trust me, this shorthand is the only formality. I’ve been hosting this dinner party with my husband for nearly three years now, and what started as a “writers group” (guess how much writing we did?) has morphed into something I think many people, millennials especially, find as elusive as the rest of the American Dream: warm, reliable community.

My grandparents — all four of them — were friends for years before they got married and started having kids (two of which would eventually marry each other and have me). When you look at pictures of my mother’s Bat Mitzvah, my dad’s parents are there, dancing in the background. I remember one of my grandfathers giving me a hug at the other’s funeral and saying, “You lost a good friend, Kiddo,” which struck me as odd, even at 10 years old, since they had known each other far longer than I’d been alive. He was the one who had lost a good friend.

When I moved across the country after college graduation, I took many of my grandparents’ things with me — things that belonged in other kitchens, in other eras. Even though I knew almost no one in California, table service for 10 still felt like a necessity. It was a way of carrying their legacy with me, even though I didn’t yet know how to bring it to life. When I met a red-headed bartender who loved to cook as much as I did, I decided to stay. We cooked our favorite recipes for each other, and many of mine (the desserts, mostly) came out of inherited old cookbooks that were peppered with advice to the wife, the hostess, for whom every meal is an opportunity for social graces and tabletop diplomacy.

Now, if you ever happen to move to a new city and worry about making friends, I can promise you this: If you date a bartender, move in with a burlesque performer, and get a job at a Shakespeare theater, you will quite suddenly be surrounded by a wealth of interesting people. And if you feed those people regularly and well, you will sit down to dinner one day and notice that not only do you now have actual friends, but they feel a bit like family, too. And although this wild assembly of bohemian roustabouts is hardly the stuff of a Rockwell Thanksgiving, you might realize what I did: those pearls-in-the-kitchen Bettys from the cookbooks were on to something.

The friendships that buoyed my grandparents’ lives were founded at their synagogue. By the time my brother and I came along, they’d been known as “The Card Club” for several decades. The group was eight couples in total, that got together once a month and had dinner before the husbands played poker and the ladies played dominos. The hosting rotated from house to house, but both my mother and I have strong memories of ironing napkins, polishing the good silverware, and arranging trays of nuts and candies for when The Card Club was coming over.

But much as I admire The Card Club, I worry that it’s not a replicable model for modern friendships. In fact, millennials report feeling lonelier than older generations and, if the myriad essays on the topic are to be believed, making and keeping adult friendships hasn’t come as easily as many of us expected. Perhaps because an economy reliant on freelancing, gigs and side hustles doesn’t exactly encourage workplace friendships; or because we’re less likely than any previous generation to belong to a formal religious organization. And since we’re waiting longer to have kids, if we have them at all, we’re not making PTA alliances or bonding over a shared flask at the elementary school rendition of “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown,” either.

To put it bluntly: No one is going to make our friendships for us. But if we’re as anxious, broke and lonely as the internet suggests, battling our imposter syndrome in increasingly tiny apartments (as the stats say we are), then maybe that’s exactly why we need to resurrect and reform an oft-forgotten social relic: the dinner party. It’s time to stop letting an antiquated idea of “the perfect host” get in the way of our ability to create space for our community and nurture lifelong friendships.

When asked what brought me to California, I often quip that moving across the country for no reason seemed like the kind of thing one should do in their twenties, but the truth is, I was grieving. The price paid for such a close loving family (my dad’s parents lived two miles in one direction, my mom’s two miles in the other) was that after burying six people in ten years, there wasn’t a street I could drive down or a place I could go that didn’t remind me of someone I had lost. I had grown up with a minimum of 13 people around my grandmother’s table for Shabbat Dinner every Friday night, and I didn’t have any faith at the time that I would ever feel that same sense of joy and peace as those nights brought.

The first few times hosting were stressful. I worried that the food wasn’t good enough. I worried that the apartment wasn’t big enough. I worried that my goal of being a good host wasn’t feminist enough. The first time felt like I was playing dress up in someone else’s heels, but this weekly time set aside for sharing food with friends is something I now cherish beyond measure, and I slowly realized that the feeling I was missing from Shabbat dinners and that I envied from The Card Club nights was something I could create for myself, but not by myself. So I invited people in. And even if it sounds cheesy, I want to invite you in too. I want to invite you to create your own Frambly Dinner, and I’ve outlined my best tips below to help get you started. You don’t need matching napkins or a spotless house or even a dining room. All you need is a few people you’d like to spend more time with, and a willingness to invite them in.

Just Try It Out

You don’t have to commit to hosting a weekly or even monthly dinner party. Just try one and see how it goes. Think of it less like a “dinner party” and more like just having some friends over. If you can get over this first fear, everything will come easier.

If You Plan It, They Will Come

I work three jobs and so does my husband. But Friday nights are sacrosanct. The beauty of hosting regularly is that we never have to worry about when we’re going to make time to see our friends. Celebrating birthdays, promotions, holidays, etc., are all simple and genuine: just add a toast or a cake. No one has to stress about FOMO because if you miss it this week, there’s always next week. But I’ve found that the people who value this like we do continue to block out their Fridays for the Frambly.

You Don’t Need a Table

Our apartment features one room to serve as kitchen, living room and dining room. It’s not big. Most of the time, we set out platters of food on the kitchen counter and everyone helps themselves to a plate before perching on the couch, armchairs, footstools or on pillows around the coffee table. If you wait until you have a proper dining room table to try your hand at hosting, you will miss out on years of friendship.

Keep It Simple

Give a half hour window for when folks should arrive and then forget about the clock. Serve everything family style. Pad your menu with lots of veggies — they’re inexpensive, colorful and hardly anyone is allergic. Don’t let the last minute cancellation or additional guest ruffle your feathers. Don’t make a seating chart. Don’t plan dessert if you don’t want to — you can always just offer tea or send someone to the corner store for Ben and Jerry’s.

Let People Help

Ask them to bring drinks, or something to contribute to a cheese plate in case dinner is a bit late. Or to pick up some cookies on their way over. Let them come early and help cook if they want. Let them tackle some the dishes. Let them pitch in. Remember, you’re building a family, not running a restaurant.

Just Clean the Bathroom

You can fake everything else and no one cares anyway.

But here’s the biggest secret:

It’s Not Actually About the Food

I’m a good cook. My husband is incredible. But what I’m reminded of on nights when we tell the Frambly that we just can’t handle the cooking that Friday and we all pitch in for some pizza instead, is that the food is just the excuse for getting together. The real nourishment comes from knowing that there is a time and a place where we will be welcomed and loved no matter what. And carving that space out in this world is the true art of hosting.

Molly Conway is a playwright and writer living in Oakland, California. You can follow her on Instagram @moxiequinn for periodic updates about her garden and Frambly Dinner. She has yet to finish a cup of tea while it is still hot.

Illustrations by Alec Doherty. 

[savagegardenforever]

Between the years of 1997 and 2001, you could barely flick past a music video channel or major radio station without bumping into one of Savage Garden’s songs.

For four years, the duo – founded by singer Darren Hayes instrumentalist Daniel Jones 20 years ago this year – dominated the pop landscape with a string of hits including To The Moon And Back, I Knew I Loved You and, of course, Truly Madly Deeply – the song that took them from small time band to international stars. Their music soundtracks a short but significant time in the music landscape between the late '90s and early '00s, when rock was in the decline on commercial radio and the charts in favour of shiny packaged-up pop.

“Honestly, I’ll always be so grateful for it all,” Hayes told Official Charts when we called him up at his L.A home. “For better or for worse, it’s been 20 years of my life and I’m very proud of the songs. It must be weird for the general public, because the most famous thing I did was Savage Garden, but it was only two records – four of the 20 years I’ve been a performer.”

In that short space of time, they turned out an impressive 10 UK Top 40 hits and a pair of Top 10 albums, following up their 1998 self-titled debut with their final album Affirmation the following year (check out their full UK chart history here). “I don’t feel like I’ve ever rejected those years at all,” he insists. “I came crashing down to earth when it was over, but in a good way. Everything I’ve done since then has been out of pure passion and enjoyment. I accepted that the stuff I did with Savage Garden hit the zeitgeist, and it was brilliant for what it was.”

Formed in 1996 after Jones placed an ad in a magazine for a vocalist to join a band he was putting together, the pair toured the Gold Coast bar circuit, eventually signed to small Australian label Roadshow Music and released their debut single I Want You. The song’s success garnered interest from major labels and they signed with Sony less than a year later. But while they wrote and composed all the songs themselves, it wasn't an angle the label were keen to push.

“People weren’t really aware we were writing the songs at all,” he recalls. “It was part Machiavellian but also perhaps a move of brilliance on Sony’s part. We made our first record when pop music was not being played on radio, and then Max Martin happened and suddenly labels wanted to sign us. I remember [then-President of Arista Records] Clive Davis flying us over to America to audition for the label, and I’ll never forget what our first product manager – her name was Bridgette Roy – said. She came up to us and announced, ‘I hate pop music, I’m more of a rock chick, but pop is really selling right now, so I’m going to make you the biggest band in the world.’ That was our introduction to the music industry! We weren’t really taking any of it too seriously at that point.”

But shortly after, things got serious: Truly Madly Deeply topped the US chart and was Top 5 hit in the UK. Despite its success, Hayes insists they were never chasing hits after their big break. “Are you kidding? I find it so crazy that I’ve had hits!” He says. “I remember that I wanted Truly Madly Deeply to be a hidden bonus track – I thought it was too personal to be properly out there and on the album. I remember writing I Knew I Loved You in about 40 minutes out of spite towards the record company, although I quickly came to love the song. I had no clue what was a Number 1 single and what wasn’t. Suddenly we were making 1-2 million dollar music videos. It was an era of excess, glam, super popstars and we were in amongst it.”

What, in Darren’s opinion, was Savage Garden's best song? “The only song I really f**king hate is one called Promises. It was a B-side originally but the US label made us put it on our first album. You’ll notice it doesn’t appear wherever I have a chance. Aside from that, I’m really forgiving of it all; the dodgy outfits, the more hairstyles than Madonna… I was 22 when I started writing some of those songs and I’m 43 now. I was married to a woman and trying to become a kindergarten teacher, now I’m married to hot salt n’ pepper dude!

“The songs I’m most proud of are probably ones that weren’t the hits: I Don’t Know You Anymore is a song about realising I was gay and not wanting to be, and being heartbroken about ending things with my wife. I remember towards the end of our marriage we went to a Christian therapist and she told me to suppress those ‘urges’. It was definitely an important song for me."

Savage Garden’s second and final album Affirmation is a record Hayes still describes as one of his “proudest moments.” Trailed by I Knew I Loved You,  the album deals with the breakdown of Hayes’ marriage and coming to terms with being gay (“before then it was known but never discussed”) as well as the end of Savage Garden, which had been decided before the album's release.

He recalls: “A song called The Lover After Me is about the fact that I’d ask my wife to take me back and my friends telling me what I was doing was unfair. There’s a song on there called Two Beds And A Coffee Machine that’s about an alcoholic, wife-beating dad and how me and my mum travelled from motel to motel with me with a black eye. This was coming out in a period when Spice Girls, N*Sync and MTV’s TRL were huge. I’m proud that in the midst of it all – manufactured and often contrived pop music – we were allowed to write songs like that which were wise beyond our years.”

Like the end of most pop bands, the details surrounding Savage Garden’s split are messy. According to Hayes, Jones announced that he wanted to leave the band a week before Affirmation’s release, but agreed to promote and tour the record with Hayes first. When the 80-date world tour was over, Hayes gave an interview to a magazine about the duo’s split and his impending solo career, though when Jones was asked separately to comment on this shortly after, he said he knew nothing about it, believing the information was still meant to be a secret. The result left Hayes looking like his ego had got the better of him.

"I totally understand and sympathise with his reasons – I was just disappointed in the way it was handled, because ultimately it was all his decision, and I would have  stayed in that band forever" he says. Have the pair since buried the hatchet? “Of course we’re still in touch, though we’re not in each other’s lives at all. Honestly, there’s no animosity. It took me a while to realise that we were never really proper friends at the time, and I think that was a conscious decision on Daniel’s part. Once he became famous, he didn’t like it and became a recluse. I still couldn’t really tell you who he is as a person.”

For Hayes, a successful solo career followed, notching up four Top 40 albums in the UK, including his solo debut Spin, which hit Number 2 in 2002 and includes the Top 10 hit Insatiable. After being dropped from his label after 2004’s less successful The Tension And The Spark, he delved deeper into electronic music on 2007’s time travel-themed double album This Delicate Thing We’ve Made, before returning to big pop choruses on 2011’s Secret Codes And Battle Ships – a record that looks set to be his last for now.

“I was 17 when I started, and every time I was in the public eye I was performing music, and every time I was out of the public eye I was working on music,” he says. “Particularly on my solo albums, I poured every penny and every last ounce of energy into them and happily lost money on some of them. I made a whole double album to which my husband animated a full feature length film and I went on tour with an animatronic bird – this stuff is not cheap!"

Now writing a musical and studying comedy improv in Los Angeles, is this really the end of Darren’s pop career for good? “When I came off the stage at my last show Brighton, I was ready to maybe never come back again – I was so burned out. I still have no desire to be a recording artist, particularly given the state of music industry at the moment. You can’t make records today for an income, you have to do it because it’s an obsession. I’ve been in that place before and if I find myself in it again, I’ll make another record.

“We’re lucky enough to be in the position where we now own the Savage Garden masters again. For an artist to own their master recordings is extraordinary, so now I feel responsible for the legacy of that - the music videos, the pictures we took, all the dodgy wardrobe choices … I came out, grew up, androgenised - whatever. I did it all in front of a lens and microphone, so it will always be a massive part of my life."

Savage Garden - The Singles 20th Anniversary is out now.

[benjamingarden]

How We Cut Our Grocery Budget In Half (without couponing)

I shared how we paid off our debt with meal planning last week and now I want to share with you the tips and tricks I used (and mostly still use) to trim our grocery budget to less than half of what it had been. A quick recap.  Because we had accumulated a fair amount of debt we were stuck in a cycle of paying the minimum or just above the minimum due.  Living on a pretty tight budget, the only place we could find to free up money to start to attack this debt was within our grocery and food budget.  I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do this, all I could do was to hope I could figure it out. And figure it out I did.  We successfully freed up extra money and paid off all of our debt!  (not the mortgage - just over $10,000 consumer debt)  Although I cringe to tell you this number, I will share what our previous grocery bill was......  We went from spending $140.00 - $200.00 per week down to $60.00 per week (food only, excludes paper products & toiletries).  We are no longer in debt (except our mortgage which we are working to pay off early) and our average weekly grocery bills now total $60.00 - $80.00.  We cook all 3 meals at home each day, so this amount is for all food, including any eating out. Regardless of whether or not you have debt to pay down, cutting dollars from your grocery budget will allow you extra money to use or save.  Although it does take some work initially, it becomes a new normal quite quickly! 15 Techniques For Cutting Your Grocery Budget In Half: (includes affiliate links) Don't Buy Beverages One of the quickest ways to put a dent in your budget is right here.  Drink water.  If you are currently drinking bottled water, free up some money so you can invest in a small system (like a Brita) to filter your own.  This will save you some money very quickly.  If you are currently purchasing bottled beverages, think outside the box to figure out a cheaper alternative. Don't Buy Cold Cereals And if you do, only purchase them when they hit a rock-bottom price and then stock up.  Cereal pricing is quite high so finding an alternative for breakfast will be a big savings.

Plan Simple Meals With Inexpensive Ingredients Selecting meals that use a limited number of inexpensive ingredients will help to save money (and time).  If you can put a few of these on the menu every week you'll notice a difference in no time. Write A Weekly Meal Plan I've written about meal planning here, here and here, and I can tell you that this is the best way to control your grocery budget and ensure you can get meals on the table every day.  It may seem daunting or like something you don't want to fit into your life but I found out the hard way that if you stick to it, it eventually becomes a routine part of your week.

Inventory Your Pantry, Fridge, & Freezer Before meal planning take an inventory for two reasons: 1. to use up any perishables you have left so they don't go to waste and 2. so you are using items you've stockpiled in your pantry and/or freezer in your meal plan, saving you money. Stockpile Good Deals We aren't talking about hoarding here, instead, buying items in a larger quantity than you need when they hit rock-bottom pricing.  Items that can be stored in your freezer or pantry for long-term use.  Set 5-10 dollars per week aside, if you can, to devote to stockpiling.  This becomes a money saver because you will pull from your inventory for meal planning, rather than buying the item, and when you do purchase the item you'll be buying it at a discounted amount.  Read more about this concept here. Use A Cash Budget For Groceries Determine what amount you can afford and place that amount in an envelope.  Do NOT use your debit card or credit card - the cash you've got is all you can spend.  If you have any cash leftover, place that back in the envelope for the next week's budget for additional money available or to allow for stockpiling on good deals (see above).

Use Meat Sparingly This takes some time to get used to, but think about it this way.  If you serve meat on it's own, you will usually eat a lot more meat than if it were a part of a dish.  As an example, if you cut up chicken and thread kabobs with chicken, cherry tomatoes, zucchini and onion and serve this with a small amount of whole grains (rice, quinoa, etc.) you can easily eat a half a chicken breast or less because of all the veggies. If instead you marinate the chicken breast, grill it, and serve the meat with a side of veggies and a side of whole grains, you will likely eat more chicken because seeing it cut up any smaller would make you feel deprived. Incorporating meat chunks into pasta, rice, quinoa or other whole grain dishes will provide you a way to fairly easily use it sparingly. Plan For Leftovers And Use Them When we first started down the road of frugal eating my husband was completely against leftovers.  I mean, wouldn't eat any at all!  We discussed it, but I couldn't get him to change his mind.  I would eat them for my lunches, so that made my lunch a lot easier to prepare every day.  Then one day he suggested he could take some leftover chicken enchiladas to work for lunch.  He liked it and the it certainly helped that the other guys were a bit jealous as they smelled it heating up in the microwave.  That got the ball rolling and he was then ok eating leftovers for lunch a couple days per week. Particularly if you're making a casserole or something similar, it's so cheap to make a tad bit more to have for 1 or 2 lunches as opposed to what the typical lunch items would cost.  And if you've got a spouse who's willing to eat leftovers at dinner, it's not only a cost savings but a huge time savings too! Go Out To Eat Once In A While How in the world is this saving money?? you ask.  Well, in order to not feel deprived, planning a night out from time-to-time is a great way to celebrate your frugal budgeting.  The meal out should be planned ahead and worked into your weekly budget.  The way we do it is we eat from our pantry, fridge and freezer for the most part of the remainder of the week.  We also select affordable restaurants and decide ahead of time how much we will spend on dinner (with tip).

Shop Weekly Store Sale Ads When meal planning, after you look at what you've already got on hand in your pantry, fridge and freezer, the next stop is the weekly store ads.  Items that are featured on the front and back are usually at rock-bottom pricing. Shop At Multiple Stores Because you are working with multiple store sales ads, you may end up shopping at grocery stores not regularly on your shopping route.  For your other items that are not on sale, purchase them at the stores where they are cheapest.

Eat Meatless A Couple Days A Week I know, I know.  This is probably listed in any and every grocery bill slashing hack you've ever read.  But it's there for good reason - it really helps reduce costs while still getting a fully nutritious meal.  You don't have to live with meatless meals forever, just until you start to get a good grasp on your finances and until you have a nice stockpile created. My husband is not a fan of meatless meals so I would create meatless versions of what I was cooking for me a couple days a week and serve the meat to him.  I didn't mind at all and as long as I didn't have to amend the recipe except for the protein, it wasn't difficult at all! Keep A Few Inexpensive & Quick To Make Back-Up Meals On Hand It is inevitable that you will forget to defrost something for dinner, forget to prep something that needed to be prepped, have a life event come up which leaves little time for dinner, or simply don't want to eat what's scheduled on the menu.  Those are the times when expensive last minute options are usually selected.  In order to prevent a budget buster, keeping inexpensive ingredients on hand to prepare a simple dinner that your family will enjoy, will be a huge life saver.  Things like jarred spaghetti sauce and a box of pasta, or a frozen pizza, or a bag of frozen veggies and rice. You can also choose to keep a few freezer meals on hand that, if they aren't used in an emergency, get worked into the regular meal plan the following month.  Rather than making special meals for freezer meals, simply make 2 of a couple meals each month and eat one and freeze one.  Shephard's pie, Enchiladas, Pasta with Sauce and Meatballs, or Meatloaf will all freeze and cook up beautifully.

If You Have The Space & Desire To Grow Herbs Or Veggies, Grow Either What's Most Expensive Or What You Eat The Most Of Most people don't have the time, space, or desire to grow all of their vegetables.  I get it.  If you have some space and some desire, however, you can save yourself some money by growing what's most expensive for you to buy at the store or farmer's market and/or what your family eats the most of. Tomatoes, herbs, eggplant, peppers, and potatoes are what we first started with when we lived in a condo.  I planted them in our flower beds, partly because I didn't have space to devote to a garden and partly because of compliance with condo rules.  We weren't able to grow all we used but we were definitely able to grow enough to make a difference.  Plus, is there anything better than picking your own veggies and herbs from your backyard?  A quick note - just make sure your planting area is safe from pets (going to the bathroom and/or eating) and spraying of herbicides/pesticides.

Cutting your grocery budget drastically isn't easy and isn't always enjoyable.  It takes some work to come up with creative ways to make things from very little.  Honestly, the stockpiling is really the key to keeping it going.  It allows you to eat a little better, and allows for some breathing room. I sincerely hope you are able to find some new ideas for getting your own grocery budget under control.  Getting a rhythm of how you can save money on groceries will also help if you have weeks where you find it necessary to cut your grocery budget even more for a period of time.  I remember feeling a bit helpless and lost when I first started this process and how much of a relief it was once I began to get a good system in place. What tips and tricks have you used to slash your own grocery bill?  We would love to hear it!!

How We Cut Our Grocery Budget In Half (without couponing) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)