#i feel like most tropes are common so i'm curious

[blackerthings]

To my writer mutuals: What's your favorite trope? Could be a character trope or romance trope

[oreganocactus]

i don't participate in any sort of svsss fandom stuff so my apologies if this has been said already but a HUGE part of the humor of that book comes from how it parodies typical isekai harem tropes and not just in the way you might think. there's the typical "wow so cheaply derived porn trope" humor but part of the humor is also in that despite LBH being the original protag, the book SVSSS itself features SQQ as the protagonist.....

ppl like to joke about SQQ's "harem" but the humor of the harem isn't just in that he has one at all (when normally that would be LBH's role), it's how every "member" of that harem fulfills a typical isekai harem role in an inverted way!!!!!!

most obvious example is LBH. he's an inversion in that he's originally intended to be an all-powerful demon king who's a housewife in SVSSS, but (imo) the humor in his "role" is that he's supposed to fulfill the trope of the young abused battle-hardened "demon" girl who longs for peace and housewifery and latches onto the older man who showed him kindness -- except instead of being a moe anime girl, he's an all-powerful protagonist-style power insert hero. so, not so much an inversion of "this demon king is actually a housewife??" and moreso "this housewife is actually a male demon king" (which might not sound like much of a difference at all, but it's moreso about how the MEN fulfill harem girl tropes and not the other way around.)

another example is YGY - set up as a "big brother" figure and clearly has history with SQQ. he's meant to fulfill the trope of the clingy "older sister" childhood friend who promises marriage to the protagonist and has clear history w/him but is insecure about his role because he's not as "appealing" as the other options. his humor as a "romance option" comes from 1. him being a man (you might notice this is the case for a lot of these LOL) and 2. actually, in fact, being immensely powerful - it's another inversion of the trope of the physically weak "starter" harem girl who agonizes over being unable to do more for her beloved childhood friend in their journey.

my favorite example: LQG is the most obvious "tsundere tomboy" trope ever. physically powerful, out of touch with her emotions, gets flustered and aggressive with her crush, focuses on getting stronger above all else yet somehow extraordinarily beautiful -- all of these are extremely obvious tropes assigned to this "tsundere tomboy" trope, with the humor lying in the contrast of LQG actually being a man. the succubus extra is hilarious not just because of the awkward situation and their reactions, but because it's an EXACT setup of an extremely common scene in isekai harem novels. the cold tsundere beauty gets affected by succubi, doesn't know what to do, goes to the protagonist for help - it's the exact kind of situation that would have the protagonist pushing her down and saying lines like "you shouldn't act like this - i'm a man too, don't you know?" and making her aware that she's a woman and "in danger" around him. it's funny because LQG is very much a man, and indeed SVSSS parodies this directly by having SQQ tell LQG that he's a man too, he'll understand if he needs to jerk off! no worries!

even ZZL falls into the trope of the typical beast-kin girl who's saved by the protagonist and falls into his harem, subverted by his loyalty to someone ELSE besides SQQ and nonchalance as he does it.

it's the main draw of the humor of the novel for me and i surprisingly feel like not enough people talk about just how much SVSSS really leans into being a parody of a harem-collecting isekai....

and if you're curious about my credentials for making this post: if you name a shitty isekai novel, i've almost definitely already read it all. i read too many midsekais. it's like an addiction.

[pjslight]

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

You know, something I don't see a lot of people consider is that Jimin and Jungkook simply aren't together.

Now, before everyone come for my throat, listen for a second.

It's the corniest, most common trope of all time: friends that are in love and don't realize it, or realize it, but are too afraid.

A lot of us keep theorizing that they were together, then broke up, then got together again, then broke up, and so goes, or that they have an open relationship, when, in fact, they could just not be together at all for all this time, and not because they're platonic, but because they don't realize they're not, or because they're too afraid, be it because of the group, be it because Korea 🙄

Imo it would explain so much of their dynamic and history over the years. Picture this: they're in love with each other, but they don't realize it, they don't see how the need for physical affection, how the missing e/o so much, how the tension, the care and love are this different with each other than with the other members because their feelings for each other are different from their feelings for the other members. Also known as "idiots in love". Or. They're best friends, they are in love with each other, but they're in the biggest group in the world, and their society is not friendly at all to queer people, so they don't get together.

Although I don't believe it 100% (and don't really like bringing it up), could also explain these "leaked" videos of JK (allegedly). Why, also, they never seem to have a significant other, and I put emphasis on the significant, because I mean someone they love as more than a "fling". (Even if we go based on rumors, which I don't appreciate, but for the sake of discussion, I'm bringing it up). It's true the other members don't really have much (or at all) dating rumors as well, but these two do from time to time, which is also something to consider. The only time Taehyung was in the middle of a rumour was with Jennie (kr/int), Namjoon with "emoji guy" (only int), and Yoongi with Suran (kr/int). The only one more serious was Taehyung's. (You could also say Hoseok and the dancer Irene, but it's barely a rumour). But Jimin and Jungkook? They're always the ones having people make up random rumours of them with random people, much more frequently than the rest of the group, even if not that frequentlyin general. I wonder why is it. Is it to hide something? Is it because they do have random flings? Is it because they're that popular? But Taehyung is as well. If it's true and they have random flings, it's curious that it never develops into a relationship. Now, we know BigHit doesn't confirm anything relating to dating, but we also know Tae was comfortable being "public". So there was really no reason for Jungkook to deny anything, because he didn't even have to read anything to begin with, but he made sure he said "I don't have a girlfriend". They're in a period of their career where they don't really need to deny/confirm anything, and just be. But they don't. And this is typical, and telling.

Again, I'm not saying any of these rumours are true, but considering Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, wouldn't it make sense? They have flings because they can't be with each other, either because they're afraid or because they don't notice, and they don't have relationships because they're in love with each other.

Now, in a scenario where none of the rumours are true, which is the one we have to go as the main one, because rumours are rumours, it also explains the time periods where they seem distant, which isn't often, but happens sometimes. Repression of any kind, because of sexuality, because of the group, because of society, can cause you to shut off from what's causing it, ignore it, try to make it go away.

I won't be the one to say with certain why Jungkook seemed so down in the beginning of last year, but if we consider this theory, well: we know the BS takes months before approval, we also know theirs got approved around July-september. If he thought they would be apart for a long period of time and that's why they started being apart more often (soften the blow), it would explain why he did all those live where Jimin was such a main focus, and why he seemed down in some (one of the reasons, like I said, we don't know what was happening, and I don't like to make all of their lives about each other), and why there was the strange phenomenon of: Jimin flies somewhere abroad, Jungkook starts a live the next day/same day. It could explain the birth of AYS, and why after the middle of the year, he seemed better as well. It would explain the strange feeling we all felt with the first episode, it would explain why Jeju and Sapporo are so much lighter in mood in comparison.

I know they have a lot of moments or things they did that would indicate a relationship, but it would make sense that the reality is (which I'm much more inclined to believe) that they do love each other, romantically, but they don't feel like they can do anything concrete about it (start dating for real, even if private). So they're stuck in this will they won't they, for years. And any time they go a little bit further than they think they should: hickeygate, suckingeargate, gcfgate and so on, they take a step back. Jungkook tattoos something that can be read as JM on his ring finger? It's J for Jungkook (🤓). He does a special birthday romantic video? Starts doing lots of them, he just likes making videos (but can't help himself, so the focus is majorly on Jimin). And so on. They keep doing romantic stuff, because they can't help themselves, but never get in a serious relationship (hence, dating jokes by the other members as well as them being sick of these two together). I know some people will say these can be explained by a "secret relationship", that they do this to hide something from us. I say they do this to hide something from themselves. Repress.

I have many thoughts about this theory, but can't seem to be able to put them together in full right now, so I'll leave with this. Now I'm believing more and more that yes, they have romantic feelings for each other, because by now there's too much, too many things, weird "coincidences", flirting, pet names, gestures, intimacy, declarations, to box them in "they're just best friends" category, the platonic feelings category, but, ironically, I'm thinking more and more that they're are, indeed, just best friends, as far as their relationship status goes.

I think this is why I was always on the fence with them, never knowing what my concrete opinion is, because they seem in love, their feelings for each other seem different than for the other members, but they don't seem to be together. And I was never able to put it into words, but I think I did an ok job with this post. You are all invited to disagree, of course, as long as it's polite, I'm also curious what you think.

I wonder if I'll change my opinion once they get back from the military.

[funnier-as-a-system]

sorry for the possibly dumb question

what the fuck is a system

Don't worry, anon, this isn't a dumb question at all! Systems aren't very well-known, so I'm happy to explain them to you. I'll start by explaining what a system is, then go more in-depth about systems in general.

So, you know how most people are one person? Or, rather, you know how when you meet someone, you assume they're the only person in their body? You don't really think "I wonder if this person shares their body and life with other beings." or "I wonder if this person I know is actually multiple people all sharing the same body.", but that's how it is for systems!

In simple terms, a system is any collective group of self-aware entities that share the same body (which is, I fully acknowledge, a complicated definition, but basically we have multiple selves whereas most people would have just one, and each self has their own identity). We may not specifically consider ourselves individual people (some systems see themselves as separated parts of one whole person, for instance), but it'll probably help you understand if you think of us as people that happen to share the same body. We each have our own sense of self, ideas, feelings, personalities, and on and on, just like anyone else.

Although this probably sounds very strange and surprising, it's likely that you've heard of systems before – just not with that language. Many people have heard of "multiple personalities" or "Multiple Personality Disorder", which is how systems used to be known. This sort of understanding of systems is especially common in horror movies, which tend to depict systems as serial killers or monsters. Of course, systems are no more likely to hurt others than anyone else is, but the stereotype and stigma persists, and can lead to harassment or even violence against systems.

However, you may have also come across more positive depictions. Body sharing is a common trope, for instance. People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who often describe themselves as systems, are being more often portrayed as regular or kind people rather than serial killers, such as Uendo Toneido from Ace Attorney. I've often seen systems point to characters and series like Venom, Sense8, and Moon Knight – which depict systems or situations and characters that resonate with systems – to describe what their lives are like. We often find characters that are rather like systems that may not have been intended to be read as such and have a laugh about it; you might be able to spot the same, now that you know what you're looking for.

So, systems can be understood as when a single body is inhabited by more than one person, or being, or entity (whichever term you prefer). We may share the same body, but we each have our own selves, and often, our own names and identities, too.

That's the essence of it! I'll put more under the cut about systems in case you're curious.

For starters, if you're looking into systems, you'll probably run across the term "plurality", which is an overarching term that refers to all instances of someone sharing a body/brain; it is the state of being more-than-one, not just an individual collection of beings in a single body (the latter is what the word "system" specifically refers to). There's also the word "plural", which can be used either as a noun to mean the same thing as "system", or as an adjective to describe things that involve or exhibit plurality. For instance, I am plural. I very much enjoy talking about plurality and plural characters in fiction.

(As a comparison, you may think of video chats/group calls. Plurality, here, would be video chats in general. Meanwhile, a specific video chat – called a webinar – would be a system. And the people in a webinar would be the members of a system. Or, for another example, plurality would be education, a system would be a class, and the members of that system would be the students.)

Speaking of, beings who share a body – who are part of a system – are called many different terms. Two of the most common are "headmate" and "alter", although I also see "system member" a lot. I could say that my headmate was rather helpful today, or that my alter was fronting yesterday. Alter is more medical of a term, but it's more standard, especially in some other languages outside English.

But, wait, you might be wondering what fronting is! Well, since we all live in the same body, we've got to share control of it too, don't we? Fronting is what we call controlling the body, and switching is when we change who is in control. Some systems switch often, while others switch rarely, or only under certain circumstances, and some systems never switch at all. Switching may be involuntary, or it may be a voluntary skill a system has picked up. There's a lot of variety across systems.

Plurality is most often known in the context of DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, which often involves a lot of involuntary switches. P-DID, or Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder, meanwhile, involves very few switches, but these are likely to be involuntary, as well. There are other disorders that plurality may be a part or symptom of, but plurality can also exist as its own non-disordered state, so long as there's no attached or related issues causing problems for the system (ex. memory issues are another frequent problem in DID, and these memory issues come from the members of a system not remembering what the others did when those alters were fronting).

You may be wondering, how does this happen? How does someone become a system? There are many different ways. Sometimes, it's a part of someone's culture, religion, or spirituality. Sometimes, it's the brain's response to trauma, trying to protect itself. Sometimes, someone is simply born this way. Sometimes, someone may become a system out of the blue, or cause their own plurality somehow. Some systems have a multitude or mix of origins. Most studies on systems currently focus on systems that originate from trauma, as these systems most often have issues – including the trauma in question – that need to be looked into and addressed, but there are some budding studies into systems with other origins, such as the few current and ongoing studies on created systems (the aforementioned systems that cause their own plurality).

I'm simplifying some things here; identity such as this gets increasingly nuanced and personal as you learn more and more (for example, as said before, not all system members identify as individual persons, even if it can help understand them to think of them like individual persons that just happen to share a body). But I hope this helped you learn at least the basics about systems!

[carionto]

Human sciens is simply fuck around and find out

So when the humans give a tour of the labs so alliance members see what the crazed apes are up to, suddenly BOOM the halls shake and lights flicker but the tour group is fine while the one giving the tour says something like "Ah thats the sound of progress" all while there's people rushing by with guns and extinguishers yelling about a code Red and subject escape

[22/09/23] Nice, that is a fun trope to work with. I think I'll leave the dinosaur crew be, and have some other questionable research station make a debut with an "accident". [23/09/23] Idea pops in my head after several rejections - Human-alien hybrids (because you can't cross-breed because that's not how biology works, but Humans are still curious, because of course we are) [24/09/23] Actually, no, I don't like that: 1st - fairly common as is; 2nd - doesn't feel right with the Humanity I'm writing out. No, I think a better avenue is, since Earth in this verse is gonna collapse in on itself in under a century, experiments towards terraforming methods, since that's a requirement and thus a literal blank check for any- and everything. Yes. (mad scientist voice) Yeessss, I can see it taking shape! [25/09/23] It took some kind of shape indeed.

_____________________________

Biology is the most diverse and complicated field of research with literally no end in sight. We will eventually discover every law of physics, and, yes, chemistry also has the potential for limitless combinations, only in biology can you find and create circumstances where trillions of different organisms co-exist and co-operate, compete, and can create a stable and self sustaining system. Not to mention mutation and evolution across generations, as well as the myriad of changes and adaptations a single organism can undergo in its singular lifespan. The potential is truly beyond the bounds of imagination.

Since biology is an omnipresent field in every civilization, it is only natural that it didn't take long before a Human led joint Coalition Flora research station was established - the Efflorescent Sneezewort Yarrow.

It is also natural that not long after that the non-Human staff sent this panicked message:

The Humans are insane! First, there is no regulation for anything beyond decontamination, which would be fine, if - IF - they didn't sometimes just bring the test materials out with them anyway for, and I quote: "Let it experience the outside world" or "Introduce it to my other plant buddies." The head researcher, instead of reprimanding this clearly dangerous behavior, just lets it happen. As a matter of fact, he almost exclusively and constantly ingests a plant-based gaseous substance through a device he calls a "bong" and locks himself for days on end within a random lab and, as he put it while looking at the ceiling: "Feel out the connections. We're all part of one whole, and only by becoming one with the roots of the soul can you truly attain the understanding of the spirit, and unlock the true calling of each sapling." As I draft this emergency message, there is a shuttle going through decontamination with two squads, one is an extreme disaster containment unit, the other a full on military special forces unit. With heavy duty weaponry. The worst is what they had to say: "Yeah, sometimes one of these nutcases gets the idea to combine plants with animal genes, and, to be fair, with access to the whole Coalition database and samples, I get it. There's a lot of really weird and cool creatures out there on each planet, makes most people at least think about playing scientist. Anyway, it's gonna be fine, the code said it was just a Mini HoH, so we'll be done in under an hour and you can all go back to doing your thing. I just hope we don't have to burn the thing this time, the prof said it's something like a dandelion and a small rainforest actual almost-lion from one of the real far out planets, but it's got bunny ears and the nose of a German shepherd, sorta. I think that's kinda neat." By the way, HoH stands for, and I am not making this up and the translator did get it right - House of Horrors. They claim it is just an homage to a piece of old Human culture. I don't believe them. I refuse to be a part of this madhouse for any longer than I must. Send a vessel and return me to a normal laboratory setting. I will now incubate myself in a cryo-pod to prevent any more exposure to these "scientists". Thaw me out in clean garbs and with two interns already doing real work on new medicines.

[ingravinoveritas]

I thought I was the only one who weirded out by the fact that a mother can define ON THE INTERNET her own daughter a “drunken accident”. Like??? Everyone find her so funny. Maybe I have no sense of humor, but I can’t tell from experience that knowing to be your parents’ accident hurts A LOT. It isn’t something you want to make public. And yes, she’s definitely bragging. We get it, Georgia, you’re the luckiest woman alive, now chill. There’s no need to remind us about your sex life, unless you have something to prove...

Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear of your negative experience, and that it affected you so deeply. It's a curious thing, too, because in the same post where Georgia wrote that caption, she has Birdie's face censored/covered up. So seeing her kids' faces is too private, but sharing that piece of information (about Birdie and about Georgia's sex life) is somehow okay? Because that seems like a pretty strange disconnect.

I also think what a lot of people are missing is that in many cases, using the word "accident" when referring to a pregnancy also tends to correlate with "unwanted." There is an entire media trope built around this that we see in both TV shows and movies (i.e., an older sibling saying to a younger sibling, "Mom told me you were an accident"). And while this can be and has been played for both comedy and drama, the underlying negative connotation is the same: That Sibling #1 is saying it as an insult/to be hurtful toward Sibling #2. And that feeling of being unwanted is not something lightly brushed aside.

But if the comments on this post are any indication, you are definitely not the only one who felt weirded out by Georgia's caption, and I would not at all say it has anything to do with a sense of humor. This is par for the course for Georgia, as she posted this about Ty on Valentine's Day last year (putting it side by side with today's post, so we have the comparison):

...As well as her repeated use of the hashtag #vaginabragsunday (or just #vaginabrag) when making posts about her kids. She even (inexplicably) used that tag on her post for David's 50th birthday a few years ago.

The common thread with all of these (the post about Birdie, the post about Ty, the post about David) is that these posts are meant to be about someone else, yet she manages to center herself in them instead. That's where I think much of the issue lies for many of us--that this post for Birdie's birthday was phrased as if directed toward her, yet Georgia is using it to brag about her sex life, and clearly aiming that/the post itself at the general public.

Which brings me to your assertion about her having something to prove. As we know by now, Georgia has pretty much built her brand around the concept of--to borrow a terrific turn of phrase from @clayisforgirls--"I shagged David Tennant and you didn’t." But what I feel like some people are missing is that "I had sex with David Tennant" is a world away from and not the same thing as "I had sex with my husband David, the man I love." And if she needs to brag and seek validation from complete strangers--on her own kid's birthday post, of all places--that seems to speak volumes about the state of her and David's relationship, and not in the way that most people commenting today seem to think it does.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. I think folks often feel like they can't speak honestly about these things in the fandom, so I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to do so. Thanks for writing in! x

[the-gateway-to-madness]

the writing of Jack Frost

(And why it works so well)

Jack Frost is one of the most notoriously well-known animated protagonists out there. I'm on Tumblr, so I don't even have to defend that stance, you all know it already.

Why is that?

The story he's placed in is entirely simple. It's a light vs. darkness conflict. There are all of seven characters who get real screentime. The main character has amnesia. This movie is almost Shadow of the Colossus in its simplicity.

It's the details and the context and the design of the world that make that simplicity work here. Each character is visually based on a color and a shape, but then details got worked in that made them intriguing to look at, and that "design with a center in mind, then make it feel complete" ideology succeeds in making each character feel grounded and rounded out personality-wise, too.

Jack is the main character, so we're privy to extra complexities with him- let's look at those.

That amnesia. This trope has been done to death; why does it work well here? Because his character has developed for so long in-universe without him even knowing he had amnesia. Sure, he doesn't know why he's here, but he's also not aware of what he is missing, so he's gone ahead and lived for 300 years as best he could.

He's confident in his powers; he's confident in his own body; he's confident in his control. The conflicts that are most common in both coming-of-age plotlines and amnesia plotlines are not there. Jack's natural upbeat attitude and the immaturity he chooses to nurture in himself make him seem like he's a teenager in his head, too, but he is not. He knows all his own patterns, he knows how the world around him works, and the audience is incapable of understanding how exactly he must think because of just how old he actually is, and how much he's done and seen.

Jack gets reduced for simplicity in a lot of fanworks, and I think that's because trying to put oneself in his head and trying to then see his world through the mindset of anything but a child or teen is like trying to comprehend something eldritch. He's not still human and relatable because of his innate humanity leftover from his mortal life, he's still human because he has chosen to be human. Heck, Jack doesn't remember his past life, his only reason to believe he's even a little human is his appearance.

And that idea that he chose humanity, that he chooses goodness, is compelling, because it means his human self and his incomprehensible circumstances have meshed into something cohesive.

Then the amnesia shows up! If you're watching this movie for the first time, you guessed he has amnesia because duh, but you're just as in the dark as he is as to what he's missing. You only know as much as Jack does on that first watch- you're as curious and even desperate as he is to know, if you're invested. Because what could create this man? What could cause such a strong connection to humanity in him despite 300 years trying to whittle it away?

Even after seeing his memories, it's! Still! Jack's! Choices!!! This movie sets him up to be a tragic character, but it's not a tragedy because he chooses to be happy and help other people and refuses to back down and stop trying to fix things, even when only one child believes. They take a tragic character premise and turn him into a walking feeling of triumph because the good, kind, happy person who fell in that pond survived- and he did it because he chose to.

And- people want to hate Manny for never talking to Jack except to drop in and tell him what to do, but that's not what he did! Jack asked him to tell him why he was put in the world, and he was put in the world to be a Guardian. After he had already spent both of his lives choosing to be one without the Moon's direction, all Manny did was formalize it. He let Jack make his own choices, already knowing from his sacrifice what he would choose to be. From that freedom, from never being told who to be and what to do by the Moon, Jack learned how to choose to be human, to be good, to be a Guardian- under any circumstances -because he wanted to, and not because Manny told him to.

Manny did Jack more good by letting him learn how to be himself than he ever could have done by explaining to him who he was and what he was meant to do.

Anyway, I'm realizing most of this as I'm writing it, back on topic now.

Most amnesia plots cannot make the concept of "the person you were pre-amnesia shines through after amnesia strikes" work like Rise of the Guardians does, and I believe that it's because of that 300 year gap. That's the key. Jack has been the pre-amnesia person for 300 years without knowing where that person came from. He's refined being that person without ever realizing that's what he was doing; he's given that person confidence in his powers and skills. He's been that same person the entire movie already. Jack wasn't chosen because he was a Guardian in his past life; he was chosen because he was and still is a Guardian.

... anyway I'm out of thoughts

[mixelation]

i thought about replying to this post, but then decided it'd be better to make my own. tl;dr OP states that they don't mind a lot types of comments AO3 writers commonly complain about and then calls for writers to read their comments in good faith. i was going to just scroll by this as it seemed to be presented as "this is my personal preference," but then OP calls for more writers to share their feelings. so i thought it might help to explain why i personally don't like certain types of comments

first, OP brings up pointing out typos multiple times. i absolutely despise having typos pointed out, although personally i don't know any other writers who care too much. i delete comments that just point out typos with no other commentary, and the fact that i don't delete comments with actual comments AND a typo pointed out is mostly because the idea makes me feel bad for the commenter. my personal hatred for the typo comments is linked more to being bullied for being dyslexic than anything else, but i do think a list of typos with nothing else is a pretty rude comment, and it ties into why giving unsolicited "constructive criticism" is, imho, rude or at the very least largely annoying

a lot of people say unsolicited concrit is bad because "fic is free." this isn't the reason. it's still rude to personally contact a writer with your criticisms even if you paid for it (assuming you didn't, you know, commission it or otherwise have a right to give such feedback). it's because concrit is essentially useless unless the person providing it understands the goals of the writer and wants to help the writer to those goals. on ao3, the writer's goal might have been to write a little story in one sitting. it might have been to write something hyper self-indulgent and so niche that it makes no sense to any other human being. the writer's goal might not be anything that would necessitate concrit at all. and, no offense, but most "constructive criticism" from random people on the internet is just "you didn't write the story i personally wanted to read" rather than anything that has to do with the story itself. on top of that, when i give people stuff for spelling and grammar, a stunning percentage of the time, people make "corrections" which are simply unnecessary or flat out incorrect. you are not a copy editor, and unless the writer asked in their notes, they have not asked you to edit. don't do it.

also, when you point out typos, there's an implied assumption you expect the writer to fix them. otherwise, why point them out? and the writer has no obligation to do things for you

other types of comments in the post:

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ - I don't personally mind this one unless the tone is REALLY hostile to whatever ship (or trope, or character, or whatever). The reason why this one is often construed as rude is that the writer presumably is a fan of the ship, since they're writing about it. If you criticize other fics about the ship, then you might be criticizing things the author really enjoys. I think tone is a big factor here; this genre of comment can get way more hostile than OP's example.

‘looking forward to the next update’ / ‘I hope you update soon!’ - The wording of both of these is mild, but keep in mind writers with lots of fics have likely fielded a decent number of "update now you [slur]" comments. Also this is inappropriate to say on a fic marked completed (surprisingly common!). My experience on AO3 is that the really aggressive "update now!!" comments are fewer than they used to be and fewer than on FFN, but a lot of writers are still made tired by them. I'd suggest saying something more like "I'm excited to see where this goes" and make sure the fic isn't complete.

‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ - I don't think most writers would mind this one, actually. Usually writers like it when you ask them questions about their work. If I gave any commentary, I'd be a bit careful about tone again-- if you just write "why'd you do [x]" with nothing else, it could come off abrasive or like you think the choice was bad.

i do agree with OP's contention that one's experience as a writer on AO3 will improve if they engage comments in good faith. i disagree with the idea that reading in good faith means every type of comment below outright harassment is appropriate or not annoying. i do not think reading in good faith and just accepting anything anyone says to you are the same. i also don't really believe that writers complaining about annoying comments is creating a comment scarcity, mostly because i don't believe in the purported comment crisis everyone is upset about, and also because i know there were entire LJ communities dedicated to asshole comments. it's not really new.

[leantailean]

I really love Toko, but i feel like its often constrained, largely due to the age gap. Like stories will often either be set in post-canon, or the characters will be aged up. Do you feel like that holds true and if yes do you feel like there's a dynamic that i'm missing. And post-canon is fun to explore, but i feel like the most interesting story telling is generally set while the war is ongoing. Conversely i feel like aging up Zuko would be fairly disruptive to his journey. Not that i think those are bad things, i'm really liking Third Time's the Charm that plays with the latter, and arranged marriage which to feels like a very natural trope for them, and obviously i love your art. They say for a reason that constraints inspire creativity. I'm just curious about your thoughts about that.

Hi! Thanks for the ask and sorry for the late reply (sickness prevented me from replying)

I have a lot to say about this, so let’s begin (it’s a loooooong answer).

Age gap is the most common argument against toko I’ve heard. And, to be honest, I find it really strange. You see, Aang and Zuko have the same age gap, and almost the same have Sokka and Toph, and nevertheless Tokka and Zukaang are quite widespread and supported ships, and no one cares for the age gap. That’s why I don’t really see why people believe that age gap as an issue in Toko.

And this argument sounds strange also because If relationship, even romantic one that are originates from friendship are starting to built it doesn’t mean they immediately become sexual. Kataang is canon and beautiful, but in reality several years should pass for them before they step into that kind of relationship. I’m even uncomfortable to think about Maiko having sexual activity in the canon, when they both are around 16.

Besides, it is difficult to imagine Zuko anything but aro/ace to me.

 Toko's relationship originates from similar life experiences and mutual support for each other. This is not a love at first sight, but a gradually developing "friends-lovers" relationship. Which, by the way, completely similar with other canonical pairs, such as kataang.

Also I think that this argument originates from extremely wrong, primitive fanon interpretation of Zuko and Toph. Usually Zuko is depicted super mature and super experienced dude (all that dadko bullshit, omg), and they prefer to see Toph as some tomboy-ish brat (here in Russia people call such girls “the guy from the next yard”), rude, not serious and childish. Nothing can be farer from the truth.

In fact, Zuko is emotionally underdeveloped, traumatised and rather infantile due to the abuse he experienced. He Is a teenager with serious anger issues and bad social skills.

Toph is, otherwise, one of the most mature gaang members. She is able to understand and listen to other people , and she never demand anything back (“Yes, thank you Toph”. Indeed it woul be very nice of Sokka and Suki to thank her for saving their lives). Despite her guarding her boundaries carefully she is always open to other people and she is in good contact with her own emotions (which is what Zuko lacks). So in their relationship, at least that the very beginning Toph would be the most mature side (although it’s fair for every possible Zuko’s partner, such as Maiko, Zukka or Zukaang).

 So I don’t think that Toko is having any problems in that sense.

On the one hand, I agree that it’s the most interesting when the relationship somehow develops during canonical events, and not in the post-canon. But in this case, this applies to absolutely any couples, except of maiko, kataang and sukka, since they are the only ones developing during the war. Any possible other relationships, such as Tokka, or Zukka, or Zukaang, can exist only in  post-canon if canonical couples break up for some reason. Again, Toko is no exception in this case.

Zuko and Toph's relationship (doesn’t matter friendly or romantic) did not get the development  they deserve in the third season. In fact, their relationship was just thrown under the bus because of the sloppy writing of the entire third season (to give Zuko one episode with each member of gaang  just to check the box, like "mission accomplished" and give almost not developing of his relationship with each of them outside of these episodes. And Toph was robbed even of this). But despite this, toko still has more then any other fanon ships (although “Boiling Rock” is definitely a very Zukka episode). We see that Toph was the first one who believed Zuko, and not just believed - she actively defended him in front of the others and made an attempt to have a chat with him herself. It is important: the fact that Zuko's relationship with Toph is radically different from any other ones with the rest of the gaang member, since she was not with them when Zuko actively hunted the Avatar, and their first close interaction was after his redemption, when he became the best version of himself. Toph has no personal negative experience with him, and Zuko does not  feel guilty towards her, and with her he doesn’t need to make up for anything, and this is very important.

Strangely enough, but, one of the most Toko moments of the show is the moment in which Zuko and Toph do not interact personally: the meeting of Iroh and Toph. She is also the first from gaang who met and even, one might say, became friends with Iroh. Iroh, who has always been Zuko's father figure is talking to Toph about real Zuko. Not about the imperialist prince cruelly pursuing the last hope of the world - the way Sokka, Katara and Aang knew him - but about just a boy only Iroh, his closes person, knew. In addition, Iroh, who knows and loves Zuko, says how much he and Toph have in common (Iroh is the first and main Toko shipper, and I will die on this hill). Narratively and dramatically, this is an amazing moment, and I will fight with anyone who says that Toko has little canonical content: any other Zuko ships can only dream about such a moment.

It is also interesting that it is with Toph that Zuko has the most sincere conversation about his guilt towards his uncle. He talked about it with Sokka and with Katara, but it was Toph who was able to tell him the right words that really comforted him and make him smile (seriously, this is the best smile Zuko has ever seen, and it happens during his conversation with Toph!)

We see that they feel extremely comfortable and open with each other, even though they barely know each other.

Toph is the only girl in the canon made Zuko to blush, just a fact. And Toph, in her turn, openly talks to Zuko her feelings for him (I'm not saying that her feelings were already romantic at that time ). "This is how I show affection" is just the best moment.

We can talk about many other canonical points that are important for toko: the similarity of characters and life experience - both Zuko and Toph are from the upper class, both grew up in abusive families and both know what it is to feel unloved by their own parents. The Blue Spirit/Blind Bandit is one of the most interesting and direct parallels of Toph and Zuko - an alter ego that they needes to get away from theirs social roles (a prince and a young lady from an aristocratic families). This is the same direct parallel as the canonical pair has: The Painted Lady/Kuzon. Just as Aang and Katara need alter egos to help others people which is the core of their characters and unites them,Toph and Zuko need alter ego in order to satisfy their own desire for freedom, which they cannot satisfy in any other way.

They are both disabled, forced to deal with the fact that people judge them by their disability and appearance, forced to prove every day what they are more than their disability. Again: neither Zuko nor Toph share such an experience with anyone else, only with each other.

So canonically, toko has a lot of support - certainly no less than any other fanon ship.

After all, they look amazing together.

Also, I just love the moment with kissing doves. Seriously, ATLA rarely show us such a perspective, why they needed to place such a scene in the same shot with Toph and Zuko as if it were foreshadowing their future relationship? God, I love it!

I really like to explore the post-canon, especially since  I don’t consider comics and LOK to be canon, although it doesn't even matter - nothing in them contradicts the idea that Toph and Zuko could be together at least at some point in their lives.

To explore  alternative universes for toko, such as the arranged marriage plot, is also a very interesting, and it would be great to talk about it another time.

Thank you for the question, I think my thoughts turned out to be a little messy, but I hope it could be interesting to you.

________

Let's talk about TOKO!

[kleefkruid]

Hello, I hope this isn't an awkward or rude ask, feel free to ignore tho, but I've been tentatively interested in polyam, but more specifically being in a relationship with two partners I love and cherish. I've seen a lot of posts say that this isnt how polyam stuff works tho and I have no touch stone other than my own lovey dovey fantasies, but I know you're polyam and I figured I'd ask what I should think of and or expect out of a polyam relationship? How does it all work? I hope I explained what I mean well enough. Thank you for your time!

Hi! I'm assuming by the way you worded this you're talking about a triad, a relationship where you are dating two people and they're also dating each other.

I'm gonna go into a few points here 1. triads and their prevalence 2. unicorn hunting, what is it and why is everyone yelling 3. how to 'look for a 3rd' in a not-terrible way 4. a little something else about polyam relationship dynamics

Triads exist! But it's true that outsiders assume it's the standard, as you'll notice in pop culture most poly people are triads, and also here on tumblr as a fanfic trope it's also very prevalent.

But in reality triads are not too common simply for the sheer statistic probability. You have to find someone you like, they have to like you. You also have to find someone else you like who also likes you. Then that first person must also like your second person, and your second person must also like your first person! And then after all this, you have 3 relationships (you+b, you+c, b+c) and you still have to find a way to make the 4th relationship dynamic work (you+b+c). Personally, none of my partners or other people I was connected with, have dated other people I'd wanna date. It's usually people I think are cool, good looking and I want them in my life, but they're not people I wish to date. All triads I have spoken or read their stories have kind off stumbled into it. Usually someone was already dating person b, starts dating person c, and by happenstance person b and c do find this connection. So, it happens, it's great when it happens, but it's just not likely purely bc of chance.

2. When talking about this, I have to quickly get into unicorn hunters, because you will run into this term, and you have some overzealous polyam people who will throw this at any person walking into the scene (looking at you, certain message boards) You might think allright, I'll start with finding my person B, and together we'll look around until we find someone we both like! And this is a fine idea, truly (*I am pushing a yelling crowd away at this point*) but there is a certain type of couple that have made this method veeeeery unpopular (and are responsible for like, 90% of the shit polyam people get online), and you have to make sure you're not those people, and then you'll be fine. This specific kind of couple is what people mean when they use the term unicorn hunters. Scenario: You have a mono couple. Usually a straight man and a bisexual/curious woman. They decide they want to dip their toes into polyamory. No problems at this point, although going from mono to poly is a whole post on it's own. But the man doesn't want another man in the relationship, he like the idea of having two girlfriends though, and his girlfriend is interested in girls anyway, so let's look for a girlfriend for us both! This girl they are looking for is what is jokingly refered to as a unicorn. Because they're looking for a bisexual woman (already a specific subgroup) who is poly (again, upping the rarity) who likes them both, equially, and who likes to be barraged by two complete strangers who are like "hey do you want to date us both or maybe have a threesome and see where is goes" A lot of these couples can be to forward (hence the 'hunting' part), because they don't know the dynamics of the poly scene they walked in, but they're usually also not knowlegable about the basics of the queer scene. They're the couples that message lesbians, not seeing how that's fucked up. Often the girl will match with someone on lesbian tinder, who's often not even poly, mind you, and then go "by the way, this is my boyfriend, wanna have a threesome?" If someone enters a relationship with those two, they're often treated as an assesory, lower on the ladder, and they're not allowed to date other people. It's pretty much universally a bad experience for the so called unicorn. It's a stereotype sure, but it's a really fucking prevalent one and any poly person has run into them, every wlw, whether they're poly or not, will have to slap they away when they enter any online dating or even when just existing. So that's why just being a couple looking for a 3rd, even if you're being perfectly respectful (which again, possible) will get an aggressive response in poly cirlces, because we all get the flak that's meant for those people. Lot's of people, especially again mono lesbians, don't even want to associate with me when they hear I'm poly bc of these people, while we get ecually harassed, but in their eyes, that's what poly people are, even though they're misbehaving tourists at best.

3. Now, I have talked about probability, what you shouldn't do, but this leaves the question, what should you do?

Firstly, take it easy, what needs to happen will happen. If you're interested in being polyam, just start with that. Dip your toes into the water without having a route or destination mapped out. If you get a better feel about how it is to be polyam and what the dynamics are like, it will be easier to figure out if being poly is something you want to really get into, and what you want from it. It's a learning process like anything is. Mono peoples first dating will differ wildly to the long term relationship they're in years later. It's just like that, again.

Practical, finding people. I recommend looking on poly specific dating websites. I met my current partner on feeld. The fun thing about feeld is that you can connect your current partners profile to yours. So you're matching people on your own, but you can be like: this is my other partner btw. Feeld is open for both people looking on their own, or couples. And people communicate in their bio what kind of thing they're after. You can also connect your partner for funsies without looking for a 3rd, the connected profiles I see are about 50/50. There are other poly or poly-friendly apps but I have not tried them so you'll have to ask around about those!

tinder: If you make a profile for yourselves just start with saying you're poly in your bio. If people give you shit after you were clear from the start, that's they're problem and they're just being an ass. If you're dating on your own, I would also mention this so people don't think some 2nd person will jump in after you match. I have succesfully dated on tinder as a poly person. I mentioned that I was poly, that I was dating one other person and that we were not looking for people together. I didn't have any mishaps with that. If you're dating and looking together: making a couple profile on tinder, I don't recommend, because again, people will take you for unicorn hunters even if you are not. If you're different genders you'll also get into the space of people who don't want to see you, like an m/f couple getting into a women only space. If you're a w/w couple or a m/m couple you can get into those spaces genreally, especially the mlm community is pretty open to open relationships (hehe) but be clear about what you're doing (start your bio with this) and leave people alone who aren't looking for poly/threesomes/whatever. People who are open to this will usually communicate this clearly. (I'm just talking about men and women here and not going into any kind of gender fluidity bc let's be real there's no dating website that has an ideal system in place when you're non-binary, so that's a bit of a case by case situation) If you're dating and looking together nr. 2: Don't walk up to strangers in bars. Just don't do it. Plain. Simple. You can meet irl people, but don't do it with this intent.

4. about polyam dynamics.

When you get into poly dating, you'll discover more relation dynamics (I get into solo-poly and relationship anarchy here, look into that). You'll figure out that a hinge relationship, like this:

is also a relationship between 3 people. You're not all romantically involved, but all relationships (family/friends/romance) are equially worthwile, and sometimes the lines will blur. I have friends I love a bit, I have friends I have sex with, I have friends I'll never have sex with. I'll love a metamour (partner of my partner) for the love they give my partner, but I don't want to date them. Maybe someday I'll have a metamour I do want to date. You can also have 3 people who all are dating each other, but do it sperately and don't want to turn it into a relationship between all 3 of them together. You have people who form a family and live together, but not all of them date each other. You have people who'll always live alone regardless of the people they're dating; Everything is possible, if you just communicate clearly and have the maximum respect for everyone involved.

I hope this little 1.0.1 thing was a bit helpful to you, if you have any more questions feel free to ask. It's a wide subject that can (and has) filled entire books but I'll try to give an intro as good as I can

[msfbgraves]

Even TIG can’t get over Daniel. Every time there is an interview, he manages to bring up Daniel somehow. He doesn’t care about Kreese (hilariously Marty himself thinks super poorly of Terry haha). Marty is so pro Johnny, and TIG is Daniel’s number one fan. The writers just Don’t Get It. The Senseis adore their respective students.

I think we would have gotten something entirely different had TIG been allowed to write Terry and Daniel’s story. What a pity.

I think that Marty being pro Johnny is adorable, and as it should be, and both Marty and Billy understand those two characters better than the Trio. I have no issue with that. And I also feel that Marty, if the rumors that he didn't want TIG returning are true, knew that Terry Silver would take over the show. The Trio can't contain him and that is not what they thought would happen. They were desperate to have him back. So he came and took over the whole entire show. Da Eun whomst? Kreese - why? Johnny who? And kudos to Marty who played season 4 really well but he's no match as Kreese for the real Terry over the one who is in his head.

As for Terry and the Trio - I think they've soured towards him because they can't control him. We first saw that with the weird animosity they wrote for Da Eun against him. Dafuq's that about? It's not like she's that awesome a tutor. But I don't think all the writers hate him.

The Trio can't stand him because I feel that Thomas was heavily involved in shaping Terry. He's a writer with decades of experience and he's married to one. There is no way he wasn't because his Terry and Twig have nothing in common, and yet the transition from movie to series was one of the most flawless I've seen. So it's not the Trio's writing alone that makes this good and it's not the acting either because Ralph had to fight for a whole series to get to play Daniel LaRusso, instead of their disdainful version of him. Billy had less to fall back on, poor man. And yet. Terry in S4? Ponytail scene, there he is! I also feel that a lot of the staff writers have been binging some Silverusso fic. Every trope is right there.

Now the Trio doesn't like him anymore so they are probably going to give Kreese some bullshit victory over him. And I'm really curious as to how that is gonna read. But probably not before he is going to torment his Danny boi a little more so Thomas is game. Hell, I think even Ralph is very much game. And some of the writing team too. TIG meanwhile lights up at the very mention of Ralphie and Ralph is still in awe. I mean Billy, Billy is his bestest buddy and hottest babygirl - these two adore each other - but Thomas is still so tall 😍 so intimidating 🥰 such control 😚 so careful😏 he almost hit me 🤪 but not really ☺️💕💋

[shiraglassman]

Hey, I know this is kind of a dumb question, but I came across a TikTok about a month ago suggesting that dragons (the western, fire breathing, princess snatching, treasure hoarding ones) were rooted in antisemitic in the same way something like goblins are. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, and it kind of sent me into a tailspin, since I’ve always loved dragons (I read the WoF series ONCE and wouldn’t shut up about it for 3 years), and I was worried that I would have to drop them entirely for fear of offending someone. I can definitely see the similarities between common antisemitic tropes and dragon tropes, but I’ve always heard that the origins of the western dragon were that it was just a scalier of the devil and not meant to represent any marginalized community. However, I am not Jewish in any way, and I’m aware it’s not my place to dictate what is and isn’t harmful, so I was curious as to what you thought. (Sorry about how long this is TuT)

I held on to this ask for a few weeks to try to make sure my response made sense, so here goes. Disclaimer that I'm just one Jewish woman who loves dragons, and I claim no expertise or position of authority. I can't guarantee that someone won't look at your special interests and judge you unfairly. I also can't guarantee that you'll be hyperaware enough and careful enough to catch dogwhistles if they're subtle, compared with ordinary fictional dragons. What I can guarantee is that your average Jewish person is not going to assume you are more unsafe to be around than other unknown gentiles just because you like dragons, but fandom spaces and Tumblr spaces sometimes represent a skewed or specific cross-section of the population and may react differently. I can't make any of those calls. I don't want to tell you to start tuning out marginalized people when we speak about our issues including bad representation, but I also don't think "every Western dragon" is a problem the same way the entire perception of Halloween witches is, for example. For "some reason" (antisemitism) we've decided that big hooked noses are a thing you strap to your face to fake being a witch, or the way witches look in clip art. This is an issue because it takes a simple, neutral feature that some of us have and exaggerates it to the point of looking nonhuman. "Ha ha," says the trope. "Wouldn't it be funny if this trait that these Others have was so different and so jarring in appearance that they looked as different as they truly are, from us, the In Group?"

If the same group of folks who had anxiety about us coexisting alongside them created the witch aesthetic as created the Western dragon lore, and indeed much of old-fashioned European fantasy, it's easy to see how their feelings about us an other marginalized groups (disabled people etc.) creep into the stories. HOWEVER, it's also incredibly easy for dragons to not be us. Or have anything to do with us. If you're nervous when writing your own stories that someone is going to mistake your greedy characters for Jewish-coded, try to establish that real (human or otherwise) Jewish characters coexist with the greedy dragon or whatever to show that you're not using the dragon as a subconscious Jewish reference. But if you're talking about just "can I continue to buy dragon merch from creators who draw cute art", the only thing I can tell you is that there's an intense diversity of opinion among the Jewish people and even though I'm saying it's fine and probably most people at my temple would say it's fine, I can't account for strangers on apps I don't even have. Personally, I think you're safe as long as you avoid dragon things that evoke the trope directly. And many MANY dragons don't even evoke the trope these days, because so many millennials and younger grew up adoring dragons so we launched media where dragons are good. And don't even always hoard wealth. Much of modern dragon media seems to ignore the greedy and/or hoarding tropes entirely or have replaced greed as a motivator for the collections with "this dragon has a special interest", which is cute and doesn't evoke antisemitic tropes at all. You'll probably be able to make good judgments about what does the trope and what doesn't, but for some additional help here is a post Meir and I did on @writingwithcolor, which is where we'd prefer these questions be directed (yes, I know we're closed currently but we're reopening soon.) P.S. If this was sent to my personal specifically to avoid the WWC ask box being closed, please don't — that's an amount of volunteer work I simply can't take on. But I also know that it's possible and likely that you didn't know about WWC at all, so now you do — feel free to peruse our vast archives of past posts. @im-tired1124

[pencilpat]

*materializes into existence*

Hey there :D

I heard ya wanted asks about your personal headcanons for the Sides? I'm curious about your thoughts on Remus & Roman, and just them being brothers. You always have the coolest takes and fanarts with them!

So, yus: ✨the twins✨

And also Virgil's and Remus' relationship with each other if ya want :3

Anyway, have fun :D

Hello my favourite breakfast food mutual! /j

I have so much to say about the twins and their relationship to each other.

To start with, I want to clarify that the two of them very clearly have a lot of issues to work out, and although I love them being brotherly, I do think a lot of their fighting might be a little... more genuine than that. They are very much pitted against each other both by their natures and by the other sides, and Remus is intentionally antagonistic to Roman a lot. It's not healthy, but they are brothers nonetheless, and like most sibling relationships they have a lot of complexities to them and their feelings on each other.

Now getting into headcanon territory!

I don't really ascribe to the common fanon of a big "splitting" event that resulted in the two of them. I also don't think there was a King as fun as that headcanon is. I think the original creativity was something more childlike, like a puppet/muppet looking fella or a stereotypical cartoon character trope - maybe something disney based. When Logan talks about them splitting like an ovum, he seems to be talking about a much slower, gradual process as Thomas had those catholic ideals of thought crimes and repentence forced into him. Religious thought like that is integrated into a child's mind in a much slower fashion than that of which would cause a sudden and massive separation.

I like to think that Remus came about the way mold or a nest parasite does. Slowly growing off of and out of the original creativity until he was his own being entirely. Strong enough to pull off of the 'host' and grow on his own. I like comparing him to a cuckoo bird baby. He didn't understand why he's so much hungrier, so much bigger, than his sibling. He didn't understand why he was so out of place and different from his foster siblings in the nest. He didn't understand why he had done something very bad, but he knew that he had. He is so hungry. So much bigger than the rest. He is so much - too much. He has done something very bad. He doesn't know what he's done. He's done something... horrible. He is something horrible.

Remus and Roman have been compared to each other and placed above or below the other their entire time of existing. That creates really difficult feelings about your sibling when you're raised like that. Remus having to always be seen as 'worse' created self esteem issues that manifest as him purposefully making himself as unlikeable as possible. He absolutely can't handle positive attention or praise, and tends to see it as not genuine or that the person is fooling themselves when he does receive it. Roman, heralded as the 'good creativity' and always put on a pedestal, is the opposite. He cannot handle negativity towards his creations or himself, and being the Ego doesn't help with that. Roman is very easily hurt by criticism because he used to always be praised for anything he made, when Thomas was a child.

Remus and Roman get in a LOT of physical fights, being imaginary has its perks such as "I can decapitate my annoying brother and he will be fine and still yelling at me." It helps them blow off some of the animosity between them, and usually they patch each other up after which also helps with that. I think they drum up entire battle scenarios in The Mindpalace with dragons and manticores and all sorts of beasts to tear each other apart, only to laugh and put each other back together.

I think that sometimes, even though most of their relationship is fighting and bickering, they really are the only one that can comfort each other. They understand each other's painful emotions and self esteem issues so well that the other sides couldn't get anywhere close to the ability they have to make each other feel better. They're brothers, no matter how much they dislike that fact, and they know each other inside and out.

This is very long so I will talk about Remus & Virgil at a later date! You can see a tiny bit of my thoughts in this post though.

[kimkhimhant]

I love the instinctual gravitation towards warmth it's one of my favourite pieces of fiction,, I'm curious what inspired you to write it/how did you come up with the premise

(no pressure to answer <3)

ahhhh hi thank you so much for the question and for reading TIGTW! i'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

honestly, there were a few things that inspired the particular plot, and all of it had to do with my own analysis of Kim as a character. if you hadn't noticed, i kind of obsess over him.

gonna start with two canon moments that influenced the direction of the story a lot:

this first one: kim staring at his empty hand after chay gets up, after kim himself was unable to say i love you. i think its a beautiful moment for kim's character – the emptiness and visceral loss. he didn't commit any physical harm, but it still manages to mirror the common trope of a character staring at the blood on their hands after killing someone. and the second one: we only see this scene on reflection and not when it happens chronologically, and it's so briefly shown we don't know what happens before or after, but in this moment, Kim looks wrecked. he's sitting there listening to Chay sing his love song in the studio, and he can't handle it. he looks like he's about to have a panic attack, and he gets up and leaves, and we don't know what happens next.

So TIGTW starts with that scene. the "what happens next."

So that kinda sets the stage for what aspects of canon most inspired me lol. I guess the main inspiration for the premise beyond that is personal experience and projection. We see very little of Kim as a character beyond what he shows to other characters in the show. (maybe that's intentional to the story-telling. we know as little about him as the other characters. we get only a couple brief scenes of him alone, either investigating, or playing the guitar/writing while daydreaming about Chay and smiling). but what we do see is someone who's very isolated and who flounders in the face of affection, but seems desperate for those little moments of warmth he gets with Chay. so in comes projection: here's an isolated and lonely boy with a fucked up family and a childhood that likely lacked a lot of emotional warmth – let's give him all the problems that hit closest to home for me.

An opioid high feels like a jacked up version of love and joy and warmth. Kim can't get those feelings anywhere else, but... he could get them here. He's scared of emotional attachment, he's scared of being Known, but a feeling of love and safety that he's in control of, that he can enjoy in private? he'd cling to it.

Im gonna be honest, I didn't have a full plot when i started writing it. I'd only planned up to chapter 11: Kim spiralling after fucking things up with Chay, and then getting shot saving Chay because he was under the influence, and this being the turning point for him getting clean. Everything after that was just the natural progression that seemed to make the most sense for his continued recovery. because i really really wanted to portray a real recovery process, that wasn't just: oh, he has love now, he has Chay and his brothers and he decided to get clean now and that's that. he's sober and recovered and happy and the story is over. because that's not how it works. by the time i finished the main story, i had about a dozen different updated outlines, because it developed more and more with every chapter i wrote lol.

i guess the short version of this answer would be: i saw myself in him, and i wanted to give him healing and a happy ending, no matter how long it takes for him to get there.

sorry for the huge tangent, and thank you again for reading and your continued interest in the story! it means a lot to me, especially because the story itself is so important to me.

[tombfreak]

Hi! I'd like to ask some questions about AsPD, as someone whose knowledge about it is limited to tumblr blogs, internet searches, and the DSM-5 criteria for it. The questions may come across as ignorant, but I do really want to understand it more and get educated ^^;

1. Your previous post about AsPD mentioned how a lot of people with AsPD experience guilt/remorse. Is this remorse the same as other people or different? Is it like, "I feel bad that my actions hurt somebody."?

2. I don't know how else to word this, but what kinds of emotions do you (and others with AsPD) experience...? Because there's posts saying that anger is possible, but they don't really mention happiness. Maybe I'm confusing the empathy part and emotions part together.

3. AsPD is about self-preservation, from my understanding, and I see different people talk about how they see others as property they have to take care of, or something that benefits them. So, I'm curious how "real" connections start to form between a regular person and someone with AsPD. How does a father with AsPD take care of his daughter, like what does he think and feel about it? Or how do you recognize that you're falling in love/fell in love?

I apologize again if these end up coming across as ignorant. Thank you again!

Hey thanks for the ask, I've been very preoccupied with other stuff so my bad for not getting around to this until now. Also never apologize for wanting to learn, there's absolutely no shame in ignorance of theres the intention of learning alongside it.

To answer your questions, (under the cut cuz its long):

1. Remorse/guilt in ASPD is another complex part of the disorder. Only 49% of people with ASPD do have remorse, and their experiences with will be completely dependent on the individual person. Most commonly, they will have their own type of remorse thats different than the non-antisocial remorse. It may be more associated with shame of getting caught, a fear of losing something that they value, or not wanting to be seen as a bad person, rather than genuinely feeling bad for causing others harm. Its most likely to stem from self-preservation and selfish desires rather than caring for the other person. But there is a possibility that someone with ASPD can experience genuine, prosocial, caring remorse and guilt for the harm they cause if the other criteria is met regardless of the presence of their guilt. There is a quote I like that goes "My guilt does not purify me". Antisocial behaviour is still antisocial behaviour even if you feel guilty about it.

To put it into perspective, I don't experience the 'normal' type of remorse for my actions. I rarely ever truly feel bad, or care. I feel bad for my friends if someone else hurt them, or if they're having a bad day because of something outside if my control, I'll care because I'm protective. But if they get hurt over something I did, no matter how close we are, I wont feel any remorse. I will only feel upset that they were being sensitive, or didn't see it from my side, or took things too seriously. Most of the time I will try to diffuse the situation and get things back to normal, but I absolutely hate apologizing for things I'm not actually sorry for so I either lie or beat around the bush.

2. Someone with ASPD can feel all the emotions someone without it can. It's a very common misunderstanding that we are cold, emotionless robots, because this stems from the Hollywood Psychopath trope. It is a common experience for people with ASPD, especially more extreme presentations, to not be able to understand the emotions they feel, and they do not feel comfortable with letting themselves feel things, or express it, which may come across as them not having any feelings. They may have been raised in an unstable environment where showing emotion was punishable or seen as weak. But some people with ASPD are completely capable of expressing, feeling, and understanding their emotions, especially further down the line in recovery.

Anger is a very common feeling that people with ASPD experience. The presence of this anger is seen in the DSM-5 criterion of "irritability and aggressiveness". But we are also able to feel happiness and sadness. A lot of the time, the emotions will be connected with the reward system in the brain, such as being happy that they got what they wanted, or disappointed that they wasted their time or things didn't go their way. ASPD has a lot of selfishness connected with it, as seen in the lack of care for others, "me vs the world" mindsets, and disregard for norms and boundaries. But we are still people, and a good amount of people with ASPD are able to just feel happy, sad, etc as any other person.

Empathy is the ability to feel for someone else, especially in terms of feeling sad/caring/bothered if someone else is sad. Lacking empathy is not a criteria for ASPD, but a lot of people with ASPD do lack empathy. There is also a common misconception that people with ASPD don't feel fear, which isn't true at all. Instead, they might act like they aren't scared to maintain an image of being untouchable, or their recklessness might get in the way of their ability to care if something is dangerous.

For me personally, I feel a very wide range of emotions from happiness, excitement, sadness, fear, worry, anger, disappointment, etc. Mostly, though, I am in a pretty neutral state and I try not to let myself feel my negative emotions for very long. I don't like to dwell on things as it feels like that gives it power over me, so I try to brush things off quickly if they make me upset in any way. If something is important to me though, I don't mind letting my feelings towards it stick around, because I view it as me still being in control, because I have the right to be upset. It's a bit nonsensical and doesn't really have the best logical behind it, but thats my experience with my emotions personally. It's different for everyone.

3. This is another one of those things where it completely depends on the person. ASPD is a social disorder, so interpersonal relationships are bound to have a strain on them. A lot of people with ASPD struggle to keep people around because people struggle to keep up with their antisocial behaviours. Having social dominance and respect is an important thing for a lot of people with ASPD if they want to have a foundation to build relationships on. They may need to feel like they're in control, or take a lot of time to develop trust with people enough to feel like they don't have to burn the bridge at the slightest hint of disrespect. For a parent with ASPD, they may view their child as an extension of themselves, or something to control and have power over, or something they need to protect, like a prized possession.

For me personally, I'm huge on respect and loyalty. If someone shows me they can give me a space where I don't have to feel like I have something to prove, or that I can let my guard down a bit, then I'll let myself form a friendship with them. I need some sort of leverage on a person before I can really let myself be friends with them though, so that if they fuck me over in any way then I'll be able to flip the power dynamic and settle the score. But I value what my friends offer me, which gives me room to value them as people instead of just viewing them as some TV character or tool to benefit me, and I am very loyal and protective towards my good friends.

I have had many relationships and friendships in the past that were entirely just for my own personal entertainment. I never understood why people would stay friends with someone who inconvenienced them in any way. For me, the moment someone stopped giving me what I wanted, or if there was the slightest hint of disrespect, I would burn that bridge and it would usually end very messily. (I have spent the past months working hard to overcome the mindset of viewing people on a scale of if they're worth my time or not, because I think its our job as human beings to love each other without stopping to wonder if they're worth it.)

My girlfriend on the otherhand though is my "exception person", my prized possession but humanized in my mind. She is the most important person in my life, and I care for her in ways I'm not able to with anyone else, not even myself. I let her into my life because she was the one person who never judged me, or treated me like a bad person or a problem. She always offered me a space to make mistakes, and still gave me support regardless, and was always there for me to lean back on. I realized I loved her because whenever our relationship got rocky and we broke up, it hurt. I've always been the type to cut someone off for the smallest thing without batting an eye, but I was stubborn with my girlfriend and desperately did not want to lose her. I used to write her letters and shit trying to express my feelings that I never sent her 💀.

She's the only person I really listen to because she's proven to me time and time again that I can trust her judgment. Over the four years we've been together, she has proven to me that she is dependable, loyal, and that she has my back no matter what. That is a type of person I cherish and care to keep around. All of the people in my life that I value are ones that have proven to me they're worth my time and effort and that I can count on them to be loyal ride or dies.

Hope this answered your questions there and cleared some things up :] It's important to remember how complex ASPD is and how different it can present in different people. One persons experience wont apply to every single person with ASPD, and even with common experiences there are outliers to acknowledge as well

[boxofthings]

Hello! I have a question I want to ask but you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

I'm recently found out about Ghost x Roach ship and looked it up along with others ghostroach fics you and other recommended.

What I'm curious is, what made you ship it? What moments of them made you ship them? What hints have you seen from them? Or was it "I think it's a neat ship"? And I don't play cod nor likely would play it in the future. But I did watch the walkthrough of the og cod mw and still trying to finish it.

If you can answer this, thank you very much!

Hi! Completely happy to answer this and it's nice to see new people getting into ghostroach haha :)

I'll admit, there honestly isn't much in terms of hints in the games/in canon that prove these two would be a good couple/in love, and it's mostly due to the early fandom efforts that helped elevate the likability of ghostroach.

That being said I'm sure me and other ghostroach shippers can agree that a large reason why this ship is so appealing is more or less the "they died together" and the "doomed love/lovers" trope that makes room for so much angst (which we all know fandoms EAT UP) <-- This is the reason why I personally ship them I just love tragic couples

The og MW games came out when I was pretty young and yk how kids tend to hyperfixate on the most random things. Mine just happened to be og Ghost, and since we play as Roach I suppose me getting into GhostRoach was a bit like self insert?

But at the same time I thought of Roach as his own character and the fact that he didn't have a backstory (or really any info), that gave people the opportunity to give Roach any personality/quirks that they desired lol.

He was like a blank canvas for writers/artists to just throw their ideas on, and it's pretty common for people to ship their OCs with the most popular character, who, for MW2, would've been Ghost.

It's harder now to find the older content, but back then I remember GhostRoach being pretty popular (or as popular as a ship from COD back then could be) and I did notice people liked to make Roach out to be Ghost's perfect dichotomy, which seems to have stuck, as a lot of GR writers/artists nowadays, including myself, like to portray these two as two opposites that attract.

And with Ghost having a hella angsty backstory combined with him being a bit of a closed off, cold, soldier, it kinda seemed inevitable that ghostroach would become a thing, with people back them headcanoning Roach as a more optimistic, wide-eyed, type of person (and we all know people LOVE the brooding, hardassed, broken character falling in love with the caring, more lively and human character)

Even tho canon doesn't really offer much, there are still small moments that people love to bring up when justifying this ship. Like when Ghost specifically requests to be teamed with Roach on the op to raid Makarov's safehouse, as well as near the end of the Loose Ends mission where Ghost is the one dragging Roach's injured body to safety whilst reassuring Roach that he's got his back. And of course, when Shepherd betrays them, Ghost screams when Roach gets shot and immediately tries to apprehend Shepherd (him screaming "No!" just sounded so shocked and pained). All these moments made it seem like Ghost really cared about Roach.

The way these two died was pretty jarring, if I remember correctly I think even news articles were talking about this plot twist and their deaths. So these two are pretty well-cemented in video game history.

At the end of the day, though, GhostRoach is a pretty "I think this is neat" kind of ship. It's definitely enhanced by the nostalgia of the old games and the factor of being able to project onto Roach as a blank character lmao, but yeah you can't deny that people are gonna hyperfixate the hell outta the pairing that's always doomed to end tragically.

I feel like I could go on and on about them but I don't want to subject y'all to my messy rambles haha but if anyone wants to add their own thoughts I'd love to see it!