#i feel like most tropes are common so i'm curious

[blackerthings]

To my writer mutuals: What's your favorite trope? Could be a character trope or romance trope

[oreganocactus]

i don't participate in any sort of svsss fandom stuff so my apologies if this has been said already but a HUGE part of the humor of that book comes from how it parodies typical isekai harem tropes and not just in the way you might think. there's the typical "wow so cheaply derived porn trope" humor but part of the humor is also in that despite LBH being the original protag, the book SVSSS itself features SQQ as the protagonist.....

ppl like to joke about SQQ's "harem" but the humor of the harem isn't just in that he has one at all (when normally that would be LBH's role), it's how every "member" of that harem fulfills a typical isekai harem role in an inverted way!!!!!!

most obvious example is LBH. he's an inversion in that he's originally intended to be an all-powerful demon king who's a housewife in SVSSS, but (imo) the humor in his "role" is that he's supposed to fulfill the trope of the young abused battle-hardened "demon" girl who longs for peace and housewifery and latches onto the older man who showed him kindness -- except instead of being a moe anime girl, he's an all-powerful protagonist-style power insert hero. so, not so much an inversion of "this demon king is actually a housewife??" and moreso "this housewife is actually a male demon king" (which might not sound like much of a difference at all, but it's moreso about how the MEN fulfill harem girl tropes and not the other way around.)

another example is YGY - set up as a "big brother" figure and clearly has history with SQQ. he's meant to fulfill the trope of the clingy "older sister" childhood friend who promises marriage to the protagonist and has clear history w/him but is insecure about his role because he's not as "appealing" as the other options. his humor as a "romance option" comes from 1. him being a man (you might notice this is the case for a lot of these LOL) and 2. actually, in fact, being immensely powerful - it's another inversion of the trope of the physically weak "starter" harem girl who agonizes over being unable to do more for her beloved childhood friend in their journey.

my favorite example: LQG is the most obvious "tsundere tomboy" trope ever. physically powerful, out of touch with her emotions, gets flustered and aggressive with her crush, focuses on getting stronger above all else yet somehow extraordinarily beautiful -- all of these are extremely obvious tropes assigned to this "tsundere tomboy" trope, with the humor lying in the contrast of LQG actually being a man. the succubus extra is hilarious not just because of the awkward situation and their reactions, but because it's an EXACT setup of an extremely common scene in isekai harem novels. the cold tsundere beauty gets affected by succubi, doesn't know what to do, goes to the protagonist for help - it's the exact kind of situation that would have the protagonist pushing her down and saying lines like "you shouldn't act like this - i'm a man too, don't you know?" and making her aware that she's a woman and "in danger" around him. it's funny because LQG is very much a man, and indeed SVSSS parodies this directly by having SQQ tell LQG that he's a man too, he'll understand if he needs to jerk off! no worries!

even ZZL falls into the trope of the typical beast-kin girl who's saved by the protagonist and falls into his harem, subverted by his loyalty to someone ELSE besides SQQ and nonchalance as he does it.

it's the main draw of the humor of the novel for me and i surprisingly feel like not enough people talk about just how much SVSSS really leans into being a parody of a harem-collecting isekai....

and if you're curious about my credentials for making this post: if you name a shitty isekai novel, i've almost definitely already read it all. i read too many midsekais. it's like an addiction.

[pjslight]

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

You know, something I don't see a lot of people consider is that Jimin and Jungkook simply aren't together.

Now, before everyone come for my throat, listen for a second.

It's the corniest, most common trope of all time: friends that are in love and don't realize it, or realize it, but are too afraid.

A lot of us keep theorizing that they were together, then broke up, then got together again, then broke up, and so goes, or that they have an open relationship, when, in fact, they could just not be together at all for all this time, and not because they're platonic, but because they don't realize they're not, or because they're too afraid, be it because of the group, be it because Korea 🙄

Imo it would explain so much of their dynamic and history over the years. Picture this: they're in love with each other, but they don't realize it, they don't see how the need for physical affection, how the missing e/o so much, how the tension, the care and love are this different with each other than with the other members because their feelings for each other are different from their feelings for the other members. Also known as "idiots in love". Or. They're best friends, they are in love with each other, but they're in the biggest group in the world, and their society is not friendly at all to queer people, so they don't get together.

Although I don't believe it 100% (and don't really like bringing it up), could also explain these "leaked" videos of JK (allegedly). Why, also, they never seem to have a significant other, and I put emphasis on the significant, because I mean someone they love as more than a "fling". (Even if we go based on rumors, which I don't appreciate, but for the sake of discussion, I'm bringing it up). It's true the other members don't really have much (or at all) dating rumors as well, but these two do from time to time, which is also something to consider. The only time Taehyung was in the middle of a rumour was with Jennie (kr/int), Namjoon with "emoji guy" (only int), and Yoongi with Suran (kr/int). The only one more serious was Taehyung's. (You could also say Hoseok and the dancer Irene, but it's barely a rumour). But Jimin and Jungkook? They're always the ones having people make up random rumours of them with random people, much more frequently than the rest of the group, even if not that frequentlyin general. I wonder why is it. Is it to hide something? Is it because they do have random flings? Is it because they're that popular? But Taehyung is as well. If it's true and they have random flings, it's curious that it never develops into a relationship. Now, we know BigHit doesn't confirm anything relating to dating, but we also know Tae was comfortable being "public". So there was really no reason for Jungkook to deny anything, because he didn't even have to read anything to begin with, but he made sure he said "I don't have a girlfriend". They're in a period of their career where they don't really need to deny/confirm anything, and just be. But they don't. And this is typical, and telling.

Again, I'm not saying any of these rumours are true, but considering Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, wouldn't it make sense? They have flings because they can't be with each other, either because they're afraid or because they don't notice, and they don't have relationships because they're in love with each other.

Now, in a scenario where none of the rumours are true, which is the one we have to go as the main one, because rumours are rumours, it also explains the time periods where they seem distant, which isn't often, but happens sometimes. Repression of any kind, because of sexuality, because of the group, because of society, can cause you to shut off from what's causing it, ignore it, try to make it go away.

I won't be the one to say with certain why Jungkook seemed so down in the beginning of last year, but if we consider this theory, well: we know the BS takes months before approval, we also know theirs got approved around July-september. If he thought they would be apart for a long period of time and that's why they started being apart more often (soften the blow), it would explain why he did all those live where Jimin was such a main focus, and why he seemed down in some (one of the reasons, like I said, we don't know what was happening, and I don't like to make all of their lives about each other), and why there was the strange phenomenon of: Jimin flies somewhere abroad, Jungkook starts a live the next day/same day. It could explain the birth of AYS, and why after the middle of the year, he seemed better as well. It would explain the strange feeling we all felt with the first episode, it would explain why Jeju and Sapporo are so much lighter in mood in comparison.

I know they have a lot of moments or things they did that would indicate a relationship, but it would make sense that the reality is (which I'm much more inclined to believe) that they do love each other, romantically, but they don't feel like they can do anything concrete about it (start dating for real, even if private). So they're stuck in this will they won't they, for years. And any time they go a little bit further than they think they should: hickeygate, suckingeargate, gcfgate and so on, they take a step back. Jungkook tattoos something that can be read as JM on his ring finger? It's J for Jungkook (🤓). He does a special birthday romantic video? Starts doing lots of them, he just likes making videos (but can't help himself, so the focus is majorly on Jimin). And so on. They keep doing romantic stuff, because they can't help themselves, but never get in a serious relationship (hence, dating jokes by the other members as well as them being sick of these two together). I know some people will say these can be explained by a "secret relationship", that they do this to hide something from us. I say they do this to hide something from themselves. Repress.

I have many thoughts about this theory, but can't seem to be able to put them together in full right now, so I'll leave with this. Now I'm believing more and more that yes, they have romantic feelings for each other, because by now there's too much, too many things, weird "coincidences", flirting, pet names, gestures, intimacy, declarations, to box them in "they're just best friends" category, the platonic feelings category, but, ironically, I'm thinking more and more that they're are, indeed, just best friends, as far as their relationship status goes.

I think this is why I was always on the fence with them, never knowing what my concrete opinion is, because they seem in love, their feelings for each other seem different than for the other members, but they don't seem to be together. And I was never able to put it into words, but I think I did an ok job with this post. You are all invited to disagree, of course, as long as it's polite, I'm also curious what you think.

I wonder if I'll change my opinion once they get back from the military.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

It's a downbeat week in JQL as we continue digging into two moody stories. These shows are streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

When It Rains it Pours

I continue to tilt my head inquisitively at this show. There are some interesting dynamics here, but it's not clear yet where they're going with the threads they've started weaving. There is a real lack of sexual and/or romantic tension between the leads so far, to the point where I double checked that the source material for this show is definitely a romance and not another common Asian drama trope--two people meeting at a low time and helping each other heal with no romance. It definitely feels more like the latter to me right now, but that may be because of the fog of depression hanging over both of the leads, and they have plenty of time to shift the dynamic. The most interesting part of this week's episode was the reveal that Sei and Fujisawa entered a relationship in the wake of Sei's family tragedy with clear boundaries around physical intimacy drawn. Sei is living in a misery of his own making and transgressing boundaries he already agreed to. That adds an interesting layer to his feelings of rejection. It also opens up the possibility that this story is interested in addressing asexuality in relationships via Fujisawa and maybe Kaori, as well. I'm curious to see where they take these themes.

Call Me By No Name

This show is taking its time revealing its characters to us, and I'm still not sure how I feel about either of them. Kotoha continues to show up every day to wheedle and manipulate Megumi, who seems all too willing to go along with her games for reasons we don't understand yet. Megumi is inexperienced and naive about dating, but she also seems to have something dark of her own going on internally, judging by her intrusive thoughts. Which may be why she's drawn to this girl who is shrouded in mystery and constantly obfuscating her true intentions. I'm curious to learn more about what is going on in Megumi's head and what she is seeking from this relationship.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

How do you feel about the idea of “Evil species” in fiction in general? I k ow it’s a highly controversial topic in the Fanatsy community about the use of all evil creatures and if they should even exist at all? I’m curious as to your idea on the subject about the existance of evil being and how/ if they can even be used correctly in media?

For me personally I do beliving they have a place in storytelling and can be done well, it’s just most franchises don’t seem to think it through. The best examples of an all evil species I can think of are the demons of freiren and the orks of Warhammer. Both are evil in a sense of “they are actively incompatible with human life” and not the “mindless sadist for no reason”. Both having lore and narrative reasons that make them evil by human definition of the concept.

The demons of freiren are magical apex predators who evolved to mimic humans in-order to prey on us more efficiently. They are cruel and predatory towards humans as we are their food, not because their mustache twirling super villains. The orks of Warhammer are bio-engineered weapons built to wage endless war, however they outlasted their creators and where never programmed with an “off-switch” and run rampant as a result.

I think there are ways to do it right! I mean, my goodness, I've been playing Legend of Zelda since I was a kid and it's still my favorite video game series. I think "all of these creatures are evil because they were literally formed from evil energy and/or were crafted for this purpose and have no true sapient free will" is a reasonable explanation for cannon fodder monsters. "they're natural predators of humans" is also something I think works but I don't consider a type of Evil, per se! wolves can't help that they're the natural predators of deer. nor can they help that chasing down prey and killing it brutally is a torturous way to die. nature is just like that. it may seem to the humans that their natural predator is uniformly evil, but that's just a matter of perspective! and I think stories that explore the nuance in matters like that are fascinating (I'm in that boat myself, with my orcs and centaurs).

but "these creatures are fully sapient people who are just Evil because it's an inherent natural trait, and also they're brutish and ugly" is a lot less acceptable to me. It frequently devolves into tropes and designs that taste of racism if they're not outright racist. and it's mainly the addition of "since they're all evil, we're going to make them Look Evil" and then the designs copy tropes from previous "these people are all evil because we said so" and the trail goes back far enough that oh whoops turns out these design tropes have racist origins! like squinty eyes, certain nose shapes, hair types, skin tones, clothing styles, etc.

and for evil creatures that don't look any sort of humanoid, you end up with that "the more evil they are, the more grotesquely animalistic they look" trope and I also have a problem with that! because I think it does a disservice to the diverse weirdness of real life animals.

I know these tropes remain common now because they've been around for so long, and shape language in design is important and we've been conditioned to view certain design choices as "evil", so those shapes keep getting used!

but I do think there are better ways.

[24kmagiic]

saw one of your old posts about Davina and Bonnie. I know you ship Klonnie and I was curious if you think Klavina?(klaus/davinas) dynamic is what Klonnie’s would’ve started off as

I felt like Bonnie was robbed in canon but Davina is elevated in the show even when she’s kicked aside she still gets her happy ending by the end of it all.

Hiii!

So, while I used to be so against her, towards the end of the show's run, I didn't mind Davina because, at the end of a very long day, she was a kid caught in supernatural business. However, it was painfully obvious to me that Davina was who they refused to let Bonnie be. She was their pitiful attempt to erase Bonnie. However, it didn't work because she was quickly cast aside, which I believe was because they never had a real purpose for her EXCEPT to erase Bonnie.

With all that said, yes, the way Davina kept her foot on Klaus's neck would have been identical to how I imagined Bonnie would be. We already saw her be that way with Damon. Damon couldn't pass gas without Bonnie showing up to make sure no one else smelled it lmao.

The possibilities in which the two of them would eventually warm up to one another are endless, and I feel like every Klonnie story in existence has found its own ways of showcasing how the two of them would eventually come together.

I am a SUCKER for forced proximity which I think works excellent for Enemies to Lovers tropes. But I also think the two of them would just naturally realize that they're two sides of the same coin and find their stake in each other's lives that way.

(This next part is me rambling and has nothing to do with what you asked, so you can skip past the italicized text if you want lol.)

People always see Bonnie as this moral beacon that is full of light but if you really dig deep, Bonnie is a very dark character. She is the antithesis of evil, which does not always equate to what we define as 'good.' Bonnie's goodness is rooted in the way she masters evil, and she knows how and when to tap in. (For example: Trying to kill Damon by fire.)

Most "good' characters we see in media today aren't actually good, they're harmless. Elena is a perfect example of this. Just because she was physically unable to hurt a fly doesn't mean she was a good person. Her selfishness placed Bonnie in ugly situations plenty of times, but it was brushed off because she was trying to be good. (Think of how Seattle responded to the BLM protests and how it negatively affected the whole movement. They 'meant' well, but we caught the fire behind that mess.)

On the flip side, Bonnie would be classified as an 'extremist' if she was in a political landscape. That said, Klaus is also an extremist but on the opposite end. (Think 'right-wing' and 'left-wing' but without the political connotations.) In my opinion, this is why they work so well together but they're bound to bump heads because of it.

(And now, back to Klonnie!)

There are so many commonalities between the two of them that make shipping Klonnie so fun.

Similar to how two siblings can grow up in the same house and face the same trauma but end up polar opposites of one another, that's how I view Klonnie's commonalities (minus the sibling bit, obviously). They both faced similar traumas, but how they processed it turned them into different people. Klaus is the Yin to Bonnie's Yang.

Shared Traumas:

Parental Negligence

Bonnie: Rudy was negligent after Abby left him and Bonnie and thus Bonnie grew up alone with only Grams who failed to teach Bonnie about her heritage. (I'm aware it was against Rudy's wishes but I'm still side-eyeing lol.)

Klaus: Esther was negligent in keeping his father's identity from him and allowing her husband to abuse him. Also, she created that necklace to weaken him for her own selfishness, thus putting the target on his back when it came to Mikael.

Abandonment

Bonnie: Her mother walked out on her for no legitimate reason. Her father was always gone and Grams was an alcoholic (so they say). Even the people in her life were emotionally absent. Then you have her friends who left her to deal with the consequences of magic alone.

Klaus: After killing their mother, he had a deep fear of his siblings abandoning him. Therefore, he became obsessed with loyalty. His biological father was nowhere to be found until a thousand years later.

For brevity's sake, I'll stop with those two but they have others.

How they processed these traumas is so interesting:

They both gained an unnatural sense of loyalty, which lies in the fear of abandonment. Klaus forced loyalty onto others, while Bonnie gave loyalty to those who never earned it or didn't deserve it.

Bonnie became codependent on her friends because she had no one else, and Klaus became co-dependent on his family for the same.

Bonnie became overburdened by responsibility. She became everyone's 'go-to' for morality and protection, which gave her a skewed sense of importance, but it also burned her out. Klaus became controlling and constantly sought validation (from Elijah in particular).

Klaus ruled through fear because of Mikael's abuse. Everyone's acceptance of Mikael's abuse sort of validated his use of fear as a way of controlling people. Bonnie used her morality as a means of control for both herself and others.

Klaus is very self-loathing, and while Bonnie doesn't initially appear to be that way, she is too. Her strong moral code is just that, her way of torturing herself. (For example: Constantly sacrificing herself for 'good' simply because she has the duty of wielding magic.)

If Klaus controlled his siblings, Bonnie's control came with how she wielded that moral compass of hers. Seeing everyone around her live freely was triggering because she had to be responsible so early in her life. She never got to make mistakes. Mistakes meant abandonment to her, so she walked a fine line and tried to force others to do the same. (This may be why she struggled with her magic so often. I often wondered if the spirits were actually punishing her or if she was self-actualizing and punishing herself subconsciously.)

This is the tip of the iceberg with these two, but can you already see the pattern? My favorite aspect is how one craves what the other has. Klaus craves loyalty, and Bonnie craves control. They both want what the other (seemingly) has.

[carionto]

Human sciens is simply fuck around and find out

So when the humans give a tour of the labs so alliance members see what the crazed apes are up to, suddenly BOOM the halls shake and lights flicker but the tour group is fine while the one giving the tour says something like "Ah thats the sound of progress" all while there's people rushing by with guns and extinguishers yelling about a code Red and subject escape

[22/09/23] Nice, that is a fun trope to work with. I think I'll leave the dinosaur crew be, and have some other questionable research station make a debut with an "accident". [23/09/23] Idea pops in my head after several rejections - Human-alien hybrids (because you can't cross-breed because that's not how biology works, but Humans are still curious, because of course we are) [24/09/23] Actually, no, I don't like that: 1st - fairly common as is; 2nd - doesn't feel right with the Humanity I'm writing out. No, I think a better avenue is, since Earth in this verse is gonna collapse in on itself in under a century, experiments towards terraforming methods, since that's a requirement and thus a literal blank check for any- and everything. Yes. (mad scientist voice) Yeessss, I can see it taking shape! [25/09/23] It took some kind of shape indeed.

_____________________________

Biology is the most diverse and complicated field of research with literally no end in sight. We will eventually discover every law of physics, and, yes, chemistry also has the potential for limitless combinations, only in biology can you find and create circumstances where trillions of different organisms co-exist and co-operate, compete, and can create a stable and self sustaining system. Not to mention mutation and evolution across generations, as well as the myriad of changes and adaptations a single organism can undergo in its singular lifespan. The potential is truly beyond the bounds of imagination.

Since biology is an omnipresent field in every civilization, it is only natural that it didn't take long before a Human led joint Coalition Flora research station was established - the Efflorescent Sneezewort Yarrow.

It is also natural that not long after that the non-Human staff sent this panicked message:

The Humans are insane! First, there is no regulation for anything beyond decontamination, which would be fine, if - IF - they didn't sometimes just bring the test materials out with them anyway for, and I quote: "Let it experience the outside world" or "Introduce it to my other plant buddies." The head researcher, instead of reprimanding this clearly dangerous behavior, just lets it happen. As a matter of fact, he almost exclusively and constantly ingests a plant-based gaseous substance through a device he calls a "bong" and locks himself for days on end within a random lab and, as he put it while looking at the ceiling: "Feel out the connections. We're all part of one whole, and only by becoming one with the roots of the soul can you truly attain the understanding of the spirit, and unlock the true calling of each sapling." As I draft this emergency message, there is a shuttle going through decontamination with two squads, one is an extreme disaster containment unit, the other a full on military special forces unit. With heavy duty weaponry. The worst is what they had to say: "Yeah, sometimes one of these nutcases gets the idea to combine plants with animal genes, and, to be fair, with access to the whole Coalition database and samples, I get it. There's a lot of really weird and cool creatures out there on each planet, makes most people at least think about playing scientist. Anyway, it's gonna be fine, the code said it was just a Mini HoH, so we'll be done in under an hour and you can all go back to doing your thing. I just hope we don't have to burn the thing this time, the prof said it's something like a dandelion and a small rainforest actual almost-lion from one of the real far out planets, but it's got bunny ears and the nose of a German shepherd, sorta. I think that's kinda neat." By the way, HoH stands for, and I am not making this up and the translator did get it right - House of Horrors. They claim it is just an homage to a piece of old Human culture. I don't believe them. I refuse to be a part of this madhouse for any longer than I must. Send a vessel and return me to a normal laboratory setting. I will now incubate myself in a cryo-pod to prevent any more exposure to these "scientists". Thaw me out in clean garbs and with two interns already doing real work on new medicines.

[moeitsu]

hi moe! ♡

I just wanted to drop in and say I love your siren!arthur fic! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

I've never read a monster au before but this has honestly opened doors for me. If you don't mind me asking, do you have any monster romance books that would be good for someone new to the genre? I've seen some before but they're kinda intimidating lol, and I have no clue where to even start. I'd love to read more stuff similar to yours! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

~ 🌸 anon

Wowow!! First of all, thank you for your kind words anon! 💖I'm touched that my work made you want to explore this genre further!! That's such a huge compliment :')

I’d love to give you some recommendations! In fact, since I’ve gotten quite a few comments and asks from people who’ve never dipped their toes into monster romance before, I’m thinking of turning this into a little “Guide to Monster Romance” post. Since you all seem to enjoy my siren!Arthur AU!

Below the cut, I’ve put together some key info and recommendations that I think will be perfect for curious readers. 😉

(also I adore the emoji anons, It feels like I have secret pen pals hehe)

Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Some definitions are in order to better understand why we enjoy this kind of romance and the distinctions between different types of attraction.

Two terms that often come up in discussions about monster romance are teratophilia and exophilia. While they’re sometimes used interchangeably, they actually describe different but overlapping attractions.

Teratophilia refers to an attraction to beings that are monstrous or deformed by human standards. This includes creatures that might have exaggerated or unsettling features—think demons, werewolves, vampires, or eldritch horrors with too many eyes (or even siren!arthur). The appeal of teratophilia often comes from the blend of danger, power, and otherworldly beauty, as well as the emotional themes of acceptance and intimacy despite physical inhuman differences.

Exophilia, on the other hand, is an attraction to the alien, the completely other. It’s about a fascination with beings that exist outside the realm of human experience, such as extraterrestrials, deep-sea leviathans, or sentient AI/robots. Where teratophilia might lean into the monstrous and grotesque, exophilia often embraces the unknowable and the strange—forms of intimacy that challenge the limits of human understanding.

Both play into the themes of desire beyond the ordinary, exploring love and attraction without human limitations. And that’s exactly what makes this romance so compelling!

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Monster romance thrives on themes that tap into deep emotional and psychological yearnings—particularly those of acceptance, transformation, and love beyond the ordinary. While every story has its own unique spin, there are some recurring themes that define the genre:

The Monster as the Outcast - One of the most common tropes in monster romance is the idea of the monster as an outsider—shunned by society (or its own people), feared, or even hunted for what it is. Whether it’s a misunderstood beast, a cursed creature, or an alien being stranded in a world that sees it as a threat, the monster often carries a profound loneliness. This naturally sets the stage for a romance built on recognition—the human protagonist is often the first to see past the monstrous exterior and acknowledge the being’s pain, intelligence, or humanity (even when it isn’t actually human).

“I Am Unlovable” - Closely tied to the outcast theme is the monster’s belief that it is unworthy of love. It may view itself as a hideous thing, unfit for companionship, or even dangerous to those who come too close. This often creates an angsty dynamic where the monster struggles to accept the affection of the protagonist, fearing it’s a mistake or that it will end in heartbreak. This self-loathing is a powerful emotional hook because it allows the human love interest to challenge that perception, proving through their actions that love is not just about appearances. (This is a personal favorite trope of mine)

The FMC’s Inner Conflict - In many monster romances, the female protagonist struggles with her feelings—how could she possibly love something so inhuman? Society, fear, and instinct all tell her to run, to reject the creature before her. But as she spends time with him, she realizes that what she initially perceived as monstrous—his sharp claws, his glowing eyes, his alien physiology—masks something deeply beautiful. She sees his kindness, his protectiveness, his vulnerability, and suddenly, the way he looks no longer matters. What once repulsed her now feels familiar, even cherished. This shift in perspective is at the heart of so many monster romances, reinforcing the idea that true love is about seeing someone for who they really are.

Beauty and the Beast Reversed - While monster romance often draws from the classic Beauty and the Beast framework, it frequently subverts the idea of the beast needing to become human. Instead, the heroine often grows to embrace the monster as he is, falling for him not in spite of his appearance but because of who he is as a whole. The monster doesn’t need to be “fixed” or transformed into a handsome prince—love itself is the transformation, reshaping both characters into something stronger.

The Duality of Danger and Safety - A fascinating aspect of monster romance is how it plays with the contrast between danger and protection. The monster is often portrayed as physically powerful, capable of great death and destruction, yet with the heroine, he is gentle. There is an inherent tension in knowing that this creature could harm others—yet chooses not to, especially when it comes to her. This taps into themes of trust, surrender, and the thrill of loving something wild and untamed. (Another favorite trope)

Transformation and Acceptance - Many monster romances explore themes of change—sometimes literally, such as when a character undergoes a transformation (werewolves, vampires, or even the heroine herself becoming something new). But more often, it’s a metaphorical transformation: the heroine evolves in her understanding of what love looks like, while the monster learns to accept himself and allow love into his life. These stories challenge traditional notions of attraction, beauty, and belonging, leaving us with the profound idea that love is not about looking perfect.

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Alright, I think that covers everything for now. I’ll stop rambling and get to the recommendations!

If you're new to the genre and looking for something soft, sweet, and packed with spice (but not too monstrous), I highly recommend the Ice Planet Barbarians series by Ruby Dixon.

The series consists of 21 standalone books, though I definitely suggest reading them in order because there's an overarching plot that adds depth to the stories. The books follow a group of human women who are abducted by aliens, only to crash on a frozen planet where they encounter the native barbarians—large, strong, and sometimes a little rough around the edges. Each book focuses on a different couple, exploring themes of survival, love, and the fierce chemistry between the humans and their alien mates. While the romance is at the heart of each story, there’s also plenty of adventure, emotional growth, humor, and hornyness, making it a well-rounded series for fans of spicy romance with a touch of sci-fi.

The IPB series also offers great representation of diverse female characters, each with unique backgrounds, personalities, and strengths. The heroines vary in age, body type, and life experience—some are strong and independent, while others grow into their strength through their relationships with their alien mates. The series features women from very different walks of life, such as scientists, artists, and everyday women, showing that love, growth, and self-discovery are for everyone.

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If you’re a fan of The Dark Tide and looking for something in a similar vein, I highly recommend Emma Hamm’s Deep Waters series.

While I’ve only read the first book so far, it’s clear that this series is a perfect blend of dystopian steampunk elements and underwater fantasy, and it deeply inspired my own story. Set in a world where underwater cities are teeming with secrets and hidden dangers, the series introduces mermen who are visually striking and alien in their appearance but have rich, vibrant personalities that bring them to life in a way that feels both unique and endearing. If you love the idea of exploring mysterious underwater realms, full of intrigue and adventure, with a dash of romance and spice, these books are sure to captivate you. They're incredible slow burns that focus on developing feelings rather than just sexual desire. Plus, the cover art is absolutely stunning!

(I devoured the first book in one sitting. It's easily one of my favorite romances!)

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Another series that is particularly easy to enjoy for new readers is the Duskwalker Brides series by Opal Reyne.

This series blends dark romance, fantasy, and adventure, offering a captivating escape into a world filled with fascinating characters, demonic creatures and unique dynamics. Set in a world where the Duskwalkers, mysterious and powerful beings, rule the land, the series centers around women who find themselves chosen as brides to these enigmatic creatures. What makes the series so appealing is its accessibility—it's easy to dive into with engaging plots, a good balance of tension and romance, and characters you can’t help but root for. (a warning, this series is VERY spicy. There is a lot of monster fucking in these books) The Duskwalkers, though fierce and otherworldly, are complex and emotionally rich, making for an exciting mix of danger and passion. With strong world-building, character growth, and plenty of steamy moments, its a great choice for readers new to the genre or anyone looking for an enjoyable, immersive experience.

(Personally, I only read the first book in this series. It just wasn't my cup of tea)

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This next series focuses on MLM monster romances, and while I haven’t started it yet, Monstrous by Lily Mane is high on my TBR list, and I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews!

The series offers a thrilling mix of fantasy, romance, and supernatural intrigue. From what I’ve gathered, it dives into the deep, emotional connections between human men and monstrous, otherworldly creatures. These monsters are more than just fearsome—they’re complex, layered beings with distinct personalities that bring an exciting dynamic to the romance. I also believe some of these monsters would fall into the exophilia category. The world-building is rich, the characters are emotionally compelling, and the chemistry between the leads is absolutely electric. If you love a dark, steamy romance with supernatural twists and complex relationships, this series is definitely one to check out. From what I've heard, they re surprisingly sweet and sad and a bit graphic. Think hurt/comfort and loads of angst. I can’t wait to dive in myself!

[ingravinoveritas]

I thought I was the only one who weirded out by the fact that a mother can define ON THE INTERNET her own daughter a “drunken accident”. Like??? Everyone find her so funny. Maybe I have no sense of humor, but I can’t tell from experience that knowing to be your parents’ accident hurts A LOT. It isn’t something you want to make public. And yes, she’s definitely bragging. We get it, Georgia, you’re the luckiest woman alive, now chill. There’s no need to remind us about your sex life, unless you have something to prove...

Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear of your negative experience, and that it affected you so deeply. It's a curious thing, too, because in the same post where Georgia wrote that caption, she has Birdie's face censored/covered up. So seeing her kids' faces is too private, but sharing that piece of information (about Birdie and about Georgia's sex life) is somehow okay? Because that seems like a pretty strange disconnect.

I also think what a lot of people are missing is that in many cases, using the word "accident" when referring to a pregnancy also tends to correlate with "unwanted." There is an entire media trope built around this that we see in both TV shows and movies (i.e., an older sibling saying to a younger sibling, "Mom told me you were an accident"). And while this can be and has been played for both comedy and drama, the underlying negative connotation is the same: That Sibling #1 is saying it as an insult/to be hurtful toward Sibling #2. And that feeling of being unwanted is not something lightly brushed aside.

But if the comments on this post are any indication, you are definitely not the only one who felt weirded out by Georgia's caption, and I would not at all say it has anything to do with a sense of humor. This is par for the course for Georgia, as she posted this about Ty on Valentine's Day last year (putting it side by side with today's post, so we have the comparison):

...As well as her repeated use of the hashtag #vaginabragsunday (or just #vaginabrag) when making posts about her kids. She even (inexplicably) used that tag on her post for David's 50th birthday a few years ago.

The common thread with all of these (the post about Birdie, the post about Ty, the post about David) is that these posts are meant to be about someone else, yet she manages to center herself in them instead. That's where I think much of the issue lies for many of us--that this post for Birdie's birthday was phrased as if directed toward her, yet Georgia is using it to brag about her sex life, and clearly aiming that/the post itself at the general public.

Which brings me to your assertion about her having something to prove. As we know by now, Georgia has pretty much built her brand around the concept of--to borrow a terrific turn of phrase from @clayisforgirls--"I shagged David Tennant and you didn’t." But what I feel like some people are missing is that "I had sex with David Tennant" is a world away from and not the same thing as "I had sex with my husband David, the man I love." And if she needs to brag and seek validation from complete strangers--on her own kid's birthday post, of all places--that seems to speak volumes about the state of her and David's relationship, and not in the way that most people commenting today seem to think it does.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. I think folks often feel like they can't speak honestly about these things in the fandom, so I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to do so. Thanks for writing in! x

[the-gateway-to-madness]

the writing of Jack Frost

(And why it works so well)

Jack Frost is one of the most notoriously well-known animated protagonists out there. I'm on Tumblr, so I don't even have to defend that stance, you all know it already.

Why is that?

The story he's placed in is entirely simple. It's a light vs. darkness conflict. There are all of seven characters who get real screentime. The main character has amnesia. This movie is almost Shadow of the Colossus in its simplicity.

It's the details and the context and the design of the world that make that simplicity work here. Each character is visually based on a color and a shape, but then details got worked in that made them intriguing to look at, and that "design with a center in mind, then make it feel complete" ideology succeeds in making each character feel grounded and rounded out personality-wise, too.

Jack is the main character, so we're privy to extra complexities with him- let's look at those.

That amnesia. This trope has been done to death; why does it work well here? Because his character has developed for so long in-universe without him even knowing he had amnesia. Sure, he doesn't know why he's here, but he's also not aware of what he is missing, so he's gone ahead and lived for 300 years as best he could.

He's confident in his powers; he's confident in his own body; he's confident in his control. The conflicts that are most common in both coming-of-age plotlines and amnesia plotlines are not there. Jack's natural upbeat attitude and the immaturity he chooses to nurture in himself make him seem like he's a teenager in his head, too, but he is not. He knows all his own patterns, he knows how the world around him works, and the audience is incapable of understanding how exactly he must think because of just how old he actually is, and how much he's done and seen.

Jack gets reduced for simplicity in a lot of fanworks, and I think that's because trying to put oneself in his head and trying to then see his world through the mindset of anything but a child or teen is like trying to comprehend something eldritch. He's not still human and relatable because of his innate humanity leftover from his mortal life, he's still human because he has chosen to be human. Heck, Jack doesn't remember his past life, his only reason to believe he's even a little human is his appearance.

And that idea that he chose humanity, that he chooses goodness, is compelling, because it means his human self and his incomprehensible circumstances have meshed into something cohesive.

Then the amnesia shows up! If you're watching this movie for the first time, you guessed he has amnesia because duh, but you're just as in the dark as he is as to what he's missing. You only know as much as Jack does on that first watch- you're as curious and even desperate as he is to know, if you're invested. Because what could create this man? What could cause such a strong connection to humanity in him despite 300 years trying to whittle it away?

Even after seeing his memories, it's! Still! Jack's! Choices!!! This movie sets him up to be a tragic character, but it's not a tragedy because he chooses to be happy and help other people and refuses to back down and stop trying to fix things, even when only one child believes. They take a tragic character premise and turn him into a walking feeling of triumph because the good, kind, happy person who fell in that pond survived- and he did it because he chose to.

And- people want to hate Manny for never talking to Jack except to drop in and tell him what to do, but that's not what he did! Jack asked him to tell him why he was put in the world, and he was put in the world to be a Guardian. After he had already spent both of his lives choosing to be one without the Moon's direction, all Manny did was formalize it. He let Jack make his own choices, already knowing from his sacrifice what he would choose to be. From that freedom, from never being told who to be and what to do by the Moon, Jack learned how to choose to be human, to be good, to be a Guardian- under any circumstances -because he wanted to, and not because Manny told him to.

Manny did Jack more good by letting him learn how to be himself than he ever could have done by explaining to him who he was and what he was meant to do.

Anyway, I'm realizing most of this as I'm writing it, back on topic now.

Most amnesia plots cannot make the concept of "the person you were pre-amnesia shines through after amnesia strikes" work like Rise of the Guardians does, and I believe that it's because of that 300 year gap. That's the key. Jack has been the pre-amnesia person for 300 years without knowing where that person came from. He's refined being that person without ever realizing that's what he was doing; he's given that person confidence in his powers and skills. He's been that same person the entire movie already. Jack wasn't chosen because he was a Guardian in his past life; he was chosen because he was and still is a Guardian.

... anyway I'm out of thoughts

[fast-burn]

ooo genuinely asking out of curiosity— what made you think there was a line for f1 rpf? In what way? I can kinda see it, I feel like there’s some very very popular kinks/tropes and then others you don’t see.

Also I’m not really into hockey rpf but I’ve kinda perused and know you guys have the most incredible fic!! I’m curious what are common tropes used in hockey rpf that you don’t see in f1? For example, I guess bc I’ve been in the f1 circle for so long I almost forget how it’s not “normal” to have sooo much omegaverse hahah

oh anon, i have many thoughts. can i interest you in a readmore?

okay so full disclosure is that hockey rpf has had people trying to doxx authors who post kinks they don't like, so it's not like it's free of problematic readers. personally i've had people write posts about how i'm a disgusting freak for some of the tropes/kinks i've written--mostly xeno/weird biology stuff. i've written some satirical stuff about it rather than let it get me down because tbh there are prudes in any audience. at this point i just don't go seeking people who write hand-wringing think-pieces about how my friends and i are the scum of the earth because really it's rooted in internalized misogyny, kinkshaming, and inferiority complexes; i simply don't have the bandwidth. but discourse like this has chased many people out of the fandom or caused them to unceremoniously delete their work. frankly, i've gotten off relatively easily.

but on the flipside--and maybe this is just time spent in the fandom?? god i've been writing hrpf since 2017--i've got a fairly loyal following who will read pretty much anything i've written. like if i wrote something completely balls-to-the-wall unexpected, it'd probably still get at least 50-150 kudos just on spec. i have a fic where the pairing is so rare that it's the ONLY one in the tag, and it still has 59 kudos.

the thing is that there's sort of a distressing trend of young people becoming more and more puritanical because of the diminishing youth space on the internet. i'm not the first to notice this or talk about it, so i won't bother with going into detail. but connected to this is the idea that fandom is rather cyclical as older fans move on (not all, but some) and new, younger fans come in. therefore, with a new cycle of fans nowadays comes a new cycle of...that. so it's pretty much all fandoms experiencing this. we've all seen the ridiculous outrage at ao3's hosting of """problematic""" content. i think this internal policing is why there's a lot more out-there kink content in original fiction on ao3 compared to fanfiction.

um okay onto hockey vs. formula 1! i need you to take this with an ENORMOUS grain of salt but based on a very very very small sample size, the more kinky the fic, the less engagement it gets. on one hand, this is sort of to be expected, since kink by its nature lies outside what is normative or standard, ergo hopefully people only read it if it's something they want to, or at least are curious about.

from what i've seen so far, i don't think f1rpf is that kinky?? to me, omegaverse is...okay, well it's kinky, but i also think it's become a kind of standard. i remember when omegaverse was new, but now i feel like it's a sort of fandom standard, at least for explicit fics. (are there g-rated omegaverse fics??? i simply filter out any search results for non-explicit fics.) my most-kudosed fic on ao3 is omegaverse, and to me that implies an acceptance of the trope to the point where it's become normalized. but i think there's a reason for that.

generally i think kink in fic is a way to explore and critique the source material in a sexy way. like for example, sports rpf in general has a lot of genderplay, either through omegaverse, or rule 63, genderswap, gendercurse, mpreg, male lactation, etc. which makes sense because generally Big Sports tend to be male-oriented, misogynistic, transphobic, and extremely segregated. and conversely, fanfiction and slash-fiction spaces, in their contemporary iteration, are largely the opposite. so hockey rpf, formula 1 rpf, football rpf, etc. will likely have a large amount of kink that engages with that concept.

but i think there's a lot more stuff to critique in formula 1 that, at least from my brief experience, has gone untouched. and maybe i'm just missing it because it was in the early 2000s or the 1990s? bear with me...

car-fucking/car sex: this is maybe my number one concern. why aren't they having sex in/on/around the cars? or WITH the cars? during a race? post-race? as a warm-up/cool-down? as a way to connect to the car/build the car? (see: carva universe) not just their race cars but also their stables of road cars. hello?? and nobody reacted to my suggestion that there should be a cronenberg-crash au. why not.

adrenaline junkie bullshit: like full jackass stunt nonsense. escalation to completely dangerous levels. deep sea diving, mountain climbing, parachuting, throwing a bowling ball at someone's nuts, etc.

bdsm: there is SOME--really really good stuff--but i want MORE. the way half of them like getting strapped into the seat but the other half hate it? but also the way that the adrenaline junkie bullshit feeds into painplay. and like the Whole Entire Concept of Discipline is just sports sports sports all over.

power dynamics and sexual ownership: while most sport rpf deals with teams, f1/motor is more individual-based. a driver is virtually owned by their team and it's extremely hierarchical. it's what creates these intense rivalries and shifting loyalties. also the cost vs. income difference for the lower formulas vs. f1. idk i just think there should be fics where teams bring that into play for sex reasons.

age difference: some ships come with it built-in, of course. there's this legacy of mentorship that i've noticed which is sort of a combination of coach/player and agent/player. then there's engineers and team principals who also have rich opportunities. mechanics are also often older than the drivers. and owners, sponsors, ancient pundits? so like...fuck that old man??

idk there's just a lot of dark, gross stuff happening in formula 1 and i think it needs to be turned into disgusting (affectionate) sex.

i am accepting recs, and i don't care what pairing it is.

that all being said, and at this point i'm second-guessing every single sentence i've written here, there's still a ton of new younger fans coming in. you can look at the charting of most popular pairings across the past 10 years or so and see it happening. and please don't get me wrong: the cycle of fandom is actually necessary and i love to have fresh writers and readers involved! just that, well.

if i've been in a fandom for x-number of years, i'm going to have to theoretically get more and more creative in order to produce something fresh and different. so unless i want to write some long, well-researched, plot-heavy character exploration through the romance genre, i'm here suggesting that we put a gearshift up someone's ass. okay? okay. but new writers don't need to necessarily go that far. so it's gonna be more tame, more vanilla. less kinky. and likewise, less willing to take a chance on a bit of strange.

[leantailean]

I really love Toko, but i feel like its often constrained, largely due to the age gap. Like stories will often either be set in post-canon, or the characters will be aged up. Do you feel like that holds true and if yes do you feel like there's a dynamic that i'm missing. And post-canon is fun to explore, but i feel like the most interesting story telling is generally set while the war is ongoing. Conversely i feel like aging up Zuko would be fairly disruptive to his journey. Not that i think those are bad things, i'm really liking Third Time's the Charm that plays with the latter, and arranged marriage which to feels like a very natural trope for them, and obviously i love your art. They say for a reason that constraints inspire creativity. I'm just curious about your thoughts about that.

Hi! Thanks for the ask and sorry for the late reply (sickness prevented me from replying)

I have a lot to say about this, so let’s begin (it’s a loooooong answer).

Age gap is the most common argument against toko I’ve heard. And, to be honest, I find it really strange. You see, Aang and Zuko have the same age gap, and almost the same have Sokka and Toph, and nevertheless Tokka and Zukaang are quite widespread and supported ships, and no one cares for the age gap. That’s why I don’t really see why people believe that age gap as an issue in Toko.

And this argument sounds strange also because If relationship, even romantic one that are originates from friendship are starting to built it doesn’t mean they immediately become sexual. Kataang is canon and beautiful, but in reality several years should pass for them before they step into that kind of relationship. I’m even uncomfortable to think about Maiko having sexual activity in the canon, when they both are around 16.

Besides, it is difficult to imagine Zuko anything but aro/ace to me.

 Toko's relationship originates from similar life experiences and mutual support for each other. This is not a love at first sight, but a gradually developing "friends-lovers" relationship. Which, by the way, completely similar with other canonical pairs, such as kataang.

Also I think that this argument originates from extremely wrong, primitive fanon interpretation of Zuko and Toph. Usually Zuko is depicted super mature and super experienced dude (all that dadko bullshit, omg), and they prefer to see Toph as some tomboy-ish brat (here in Russia people call such girls “the guy from the next yard”), rude, not serious and childish. Nothing can be farer from the truth.

In fact, Zuko is emotionally underdeveloped, traumatised and rather infantile due to the abuse he experienced. He Is a teenager with serious anger issues and bad social skills.

Toph is, otherwise, one of the most mature gaang members. She is able to understand and listen to other people , and she never demand anything back (“Yes, thank you Toph”. Indeed it woul be very nice of Sokka and Suki to thank her for saving their lives). Despite her guarding her boundaries carefully she is always open to other people and she is in good contact with her own emotions (which is what Zuko lacks). So in their relationship, at least that the very beginning Toph would be the most mature side (although it’s fair for every possible Zuko’s partner, such as Maiko, Zukka or Zukaang).

 So I don’t think that Toko is having any problems in that sense.

On the one hand, I agree that it’s the most interesting when the relationship somehow develops during canonical events, and not in the post-canon. But in this case, this applies to absolutely any couples, except of maiko, kataang and sukka, since they are the only ones developing during the war. Any possible other relationships, such as Tokka, or Zukka, or Zukaang, can exist only in  post-canon if canonical couples break up for some reason. Again, Toko is no exception in this case.

Zuko and Toph's relationship (doesn’t matter friendly or romantic) did not get the development  they deserve in the third season. In fact, their relationship was just thrown under the bus because of the sloppy writing of the entire third season (to give Zuko one episode with each member of gaang  just to check the box, like "mission accomplished" and give almost not developing of his relationship with each of them outside of these episodes. And Toph was robbed even of this). But despite this, toko still has more then any other fanon ships (although “Boiling Rock” is definitely a very Zukka episode). We see that Toph was the first one who believed Zuko, and not just believed - she actively defended him in front of the others and made an attempt to have a chat with him herself. It is important: the fact that Zuko's relationship with Toph is radically different from any other ones with the rest of the gaang member, since she was not with them when Zuko actively hunted the Avatar, and their first close interaction was after his redemption, when he became the best version of himself. Toph has no personal negative experience with him, and Zuko does not  feel guilty towards her, and with her he doesn’t need to make up for anything, and this is very important.

Strangely enough, but, one of the most Toko moments of the show is the moment in which Zuko and Toph do not interact personally: the meeting of Iroh and Toph. She is also the first from gaang who met and even, one might say, became friends with Iroh. Iroh, who has always been Zuko's father figure is talking to Toph about real Zuko. Not about the imperialist prince cruelly pursuing the last hope of the world - the way Sokka, Katara and Aang knew him - but about just a boy only Iroh, his closes person, knew. In addition, Iroh, who knows and loves Zuko, says how much he and Toph have in common (Iroh is the first and main Toko shipper, and I will die on this hill). Narratively and dramatically, this is an amazing moment, and I will fight with anyone who says that Toko has little canonical content: any other Zuko ships can only dream about such a moment.

It is also interesting that it is with Toph that Zuko has the most sincere conversation about his guilt towards his uncle. He talked about it with Sokka and with Katara, but it was Toph who was able to tell him the right words that really comforted him and make him smile (seriously, this is the best smile Zuko has ever seen, and it happens during his conversation with Toph!)

We see that they feel extremely comfortable and open with each other, even though they barely know each other.

Toph is the only girl in the canon made Zuko to blush, just a fact. And Toph, in her turn, openly talks to Zuko her feelings for him (I'm not saying that her feelings were already romantic at that time ). "This is how I show affection" is just the best moment.

We can talk about many other canonical points that are important for toko: the similarity of characters and life experience - both Zuko and Toph are from the upper class, both grew up in abusive families and both know what it is to feel unloved by their own parents. The Blue Spirit/Blind Bandit is one of the most interesting and direct parallels of Toph and Zuko - an alter ego that they needes to get away from theirs social roles (a prince and a young lady from an aristocratic families). This is the same direct parallel as the canonical pair has: The Painted Lady/Kuzon. Just as Aang and Katara need alter egos to help others people which is the core of their characters and unites them,Toph and Zuko need alter ego in order to satisfy their own desire for freedom, which they cannot satisfy in any other way.

They are both disabled, forced to deal with the fact that people judge them by their disability and appearance, forced to prove every day what they are more than their disability. Again: neither Zuko nor Toph share such an experience with anyone else, only with each other.

So canonically, toko has a lot of support - certainly no less than any other fanon ship.

After all, they look amazing together.

Also, I just love the moment with kissing doves. Seriously, ATLA rarely show us such a perspective, why they needed to place such a scene in the same shot with Toph and Zuko as if it were foreshadowing their future relationship? God, I love it!

I really like to explore the post-canon, especially since  I don’t consider comics and LOK to be canon, although it doesn't even matter - nothing in them contradicts the idea that Toph and Zuko could be together at least at some point in their lives.

To explore  alternative universes for toko, such as the arranged marriage plot, is also a very interesting, and it would be great to talk about it another time.

Thank you for the question, I think my thoughts turned out to be a little messy, but I hope it could be interesting to you.

________

Let's talk about TOKO!

[kleefkruid]

Hello, I hope this isn't an awkward or rude ask, feel free to ignore tho, but I've been tentatively interested in polyam, but more specifically being in a relationship with two partners I love and cherish. I've seen a lot of posts say that this isnt how polyam stuff works tho and I have no touch stone other than my own lovey dovey fantasies, but I know you're polyam and I figured I'd ask what I should think of and or expect out of a polyam relationship? How does it all work? I hope I explained what I mean well enough. Thank you for your time!

Hi! I'm assuming by the way you worded this you're talking about a triad, a relationship where you are dating two people and they're also dating each other.

I'm gonna go into a few points here 1. triads and their prevalence 2. unicorn hunting, what is it and why is everyone yelling 3. how to 'look for a 3rd' in a not-terrible way 4. a little something else about polyam relationship dynamics

Triads exist! But it's true that outsiders assume it's the standard, as you'll notice in pop culture most poly people are triads, and also here on tumblr as a fanfic trope it's also very prevalent.

But in reality triads are not too common simply for the sheer statistic probability. You have to find someone you like, they have to like you. You also have to find someone else you like who also likes you. Then that first person must also like your second person, and your second person must also like your first person! And then after all this, you have 3 relationships (you+b, you+c, b+c) and you still have to find a way to make the 4th relationship dynamic work (you+b+c). Personally, none of my partners or other people I was connected with, have dated other people I'd wanna date. It's usually people I think are cool, good looking and I want them in my life, but they're not people I wish to date. All triads I have spoken or read their stories have kind off stumbled into it. Usually someone was already dating person b, starts dating person c, and by happenstance person b and c do find this connection. So, it happens, it's great when it happens, but it's just not likely purely bc of chance.

2. When talking about this, I have to quickly get into unicorn hunters, because you will run into this term, and you have some overzealous polyam people who will throw this at any person walking into the scene (looking at you, certain message boards) You might think allright, I'll start with finding my person B, and together we'll look around until we find someone we both like! And this is a fine idea, truly (*I am pushing a yelling crowd away at this point*) but there is a certain type of couple that have made this method veeeeery unpopular (and are responsible for like, 90% of the shit polyam people get online), and you have to make sure you're not those people, and then you'll be fine. This specific kind of couple is what people mean when they use the term unicorn hunters. Scenario: You have a mono couple. Usually a straight man and a bisexual/curious woman. They decide they want to dip their toes into polyamory. No problems at this point, although going from mono to poly is a whole post on it's own. But the man doesn't want another man in the relationship, he like the idea of having two girlfriends though, and his girlfriend is interested in girls anyway, so let's look for a girlfriend for us both! This girl they are looking for is what is jokingly refered to as a unicorn. Because they're looking for a bisexual woman (already a specific subgroup) who is poly (again, upping the rarity) who likes them both, equially, and who likes to be barraged by two complete strangers who are like "hey do you want to date us both or maybe have a threesome and see where is goes" A lot of these couples can be to forward (hence the 'hunting' part), because they don't know the dynamics of the poly scene they walked in, but they're usually also not knowlegable about the basics of the queer scene. They're the couples that message lesbians, not seeing how that's fucked up. Often the girl will match with someone on lesbian tinder, who's often not even poly, mind you, and then go "by the way, this is my boyfriend, wanna have a threesome?" If someone enters a relationship with those two, they're often treated as an assesory, lower on the ladder, and they're not allowed to date other people. It's pretty much universally a bad experience for the so called unicorn. It's a stereotype sure, but it's a really fucking prevalent one and any poly person has run into them, every wlw, whether they're poly or not, will have to slap they away when they enter any online dating or even when just existing. So that's why just being a couple looking for a 3rd, even if you're being perfectly respectful (which again, possible) will get an aggressive response in poly cirlces, because we all get the flak that's meant for those people. Lot's of people, especially again mono lesbians, don't even want to associate with me when they hear I'm poly bc of these people, while we get ecually harassed, but in their eyes, that's what poly people are, even though they're misbehaving tourists at best.

3. Now, I have talked about probability, what you shouldn't do, but this leaves the question, what should you do?

Firstly, take it easy, what needs to happen will happen. If you're interested in being polyam, just start with that. Dip your toes into the water without having a route or destination mapped out. If you get a better feel about how it is to be polyam and what the dynamics are like, it will be easier to figure out if being poly is something you want to really get into, and what you want from it. It's a learning process like anything is. Mono peoples first dating will differ wildly to the long term relationship they're in years later. It's just like that, again.

Practical, finding people. I recommend looking on poly specific dating websites. I met my current partner on feeld. The fun thing about feeld is that you can connect your current partners profile to yours. So you're matching people on your own, but you can be like: this is my other partner btw. Feeld is open for both people looking on their own, or couples. And people communicate in their bio what kind of thing they're after. You can also connect your partner for funsies without looking for a 3rd, the connected profiles I see are about 50/50. There are other poly or poly-friendly apps but I have not tried them so you'll have to ask around about those!

tinder: If you make a profile for yourselves just start with saying you're poly in your bio. If people give you shit after you were clear from the start, that's they're problem and they're just being an ass. If you're dating on your own, I would also mention this so people don't think some 2nd person will jump in after you match. I have succesfully dated on tinder as a poly person. I mentioned that I was poly, that I was dating one other person and that we were not looking for people together. I didn't have any mishaps with that. If you're dating and looking together: making a couple profile on tinder, I don't recommend, because again, people will take you for unicorn hunters even if you are not. If you're different genders you'll also get into the space of people who don't want to see you, like an m/f couple getting into a women only space. If you're a w/w couple or a m/m couple you can get into those spaces genreally, especially the mlm community is pretty open to open relationships (hehe) but be clear about what you're doing (start your bio with this) and leave people alone who aren't looking for poly/threesomes/whatever. People who are open to this will usually communicate this clearly. (I'm just talking about men and women here and not going into any kind of gender fluidity bc let's be real there's no dating website that has an ideal system in place when you're non-binary, so that's a bit of a case by case situation) If you're dating and looking together nr. 2: Don't walk up to strangers in bars. Just don't do it. Plain. Simple. You can meet irl people, but don't do it with this intent.

4. about polyam dynamics.

When you get into poly dating, you'll discover more relation dynamics (I get into solo-poly and relationship anarchy here, look into that). You'll figure out that a hinge relationship, like this:

is also a relationship between 3 people. You're not all romantically involved, but all relationships (family/friends/romance) are equially worthwile, and sometimes the lines will blur. I have friends I love a bit, I have friends I have sex with, I have friends I'll never have sex with. I'll love a metamour (partner of my partner) for the love they give my partner, but I don't want to date them. Maybe someday I'll have a metamour I do want to date. You can also have 3 people who all are dating each other, but do it sperately and don't want to turn it into a relationship between all 3 of them together. You have people who form a family and live together, but not all of them date each other. You have people who'll always live alone regardless of the people they're dating; Everything is possible, if you just communicate clearly and have the maximum respect for everyone involved.

I hope this little 1.0.1 thing was a bit helpful to you, if you have any more questions feel free to ask. It's a wide subject that can (and has) filled entire books but I'll try to give an intro as good as I can

[msfbgraves]

Even TIG can’t get over Daniel. Every time there is an interview, he manages to bring up Daniel somehow. He doesn’t care about Kreese (hilariously Marty himself thinks super poorly of Terry haha). Marty is so pro Johnny, and TIG is Daniel’s number one fan. The writers just Don’t Get It. The Senseis adore their respective students.

I think we would have gotten something entirely different had TIG been allowed to write Terry and Daniel’s story. What a pity.

I think that Marty being pro Johnny is adorable, and as it should be, and both Marty and Billy understand those two characters better than the Trio. I have no issue with that. And I also feel that Marty, if the rumors that he didn't want TIG returning are true, knew that Terry Silver would take over the show. The Trio can't contain him and that is not what they thought would happen. They were desperate to have him back. So he came and took over the whole entire show. Da Eun whomst? Kreese - why? Johnny who? And kudos to Marty who played season 4 really well but he's no match as Kreese for the real Terry over the one who is in his head.

As for Terry and the Trio - I think they've soured towards him because they can't control him. We first saw that with the weird animosity they wrote for Da Eun against him. Dafuq's that about? It's not like she's that awesome a tutor. But I don't think all the writers hate him.

The Trio can't stand him because I feel that Thomas was heavily involved in shaping Terry. He's a writer with decades of experience and he's married to one. There is no way he wasn't because his Terry and Twig have nothing in common, and yet the transition from movie to series was one of the most flawless I've seen. So it's not the Trio's writing alone that makes this good and it's not the acting either because Ralph had to fight for a whole series to get to play Daniel LaRusso, instead of their disdainful version of him. Billy had less to fall back on, poor man. And yet. Terry in S4? Ponytail scene, there he is! I also feel that a lot of the staff writers have been binging some Silverusso fic. Every trope is right there.

Now the Trio doesn't like him anymore so they are probably going to give Kreese some bullshit victory over him. And I'm really curious as to how that is gonna read. But probably not before he is going to torment his Danny boi a little more so Thomas is game. Hell, I think even Ralph is very much game. And some of the writing team too. TIG meanwhile lights up at the very mention of Ralphie and Ralph is still in awe. I mean Billy, Billy is his bestest buddy and hottest babygirl - these two adore each other - but Thomas is still so tall 😍 so intimidating 🥰 such control 😚 so careful😏 he almost hit me 🤪 but not really ☺️💕💋

[shiraglassman]

Hey, I know this is kind of a dumb question, but I came across a TikTok about a month ago suggesting that dragons (the western, fire breathing, princess snatching, treasure hoarding ones) were rooted in antisemitic in the same way something like goblins are. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, and it kind of sent me into a tailspin, since I’ve always loved dragons (I read the WoF series ONCE and wouldn’t shut up about it for 3 years), and I was worried that I would have to drop them entirely for fear of offending someone. I can definitely see the similarities between common antisemitic tropes and dragon tropes, but I’ve always heard that the origins of the western dragon were that it was just a scalier of the devil and not meant to represent any marginalized community. However, I am not Jewish in any way, and I’m aware it’s not my place to dictate what is and isn’t harmful, so I was curious as to what you thought. (Sorry about how long this is TuT)

I held on to this ask for a few weeks to try to make sure my response made sense, so here goes. Disclaimer that I'm just one Jewish woman who loves dragons, and I claim no expertise or position of authority. I can't guarantee that someone won't look at your special interests and judge you unfairly. I also can't guarantee that you'll be hyperaware enough and careful enough to catch dogwhistles if they're subtle, compared with ordinary fictional dragons. What I can guarantee is that your average Jewish person is not going to assume you are more unsafe to be around than other unknown gentiles just because you like dragons, but fandom spaces and Tumblr spaces sometimes represent a skewed or specific cross-section of the population and may react differently. I can't make any of those calls. I don't want to tell you to start tuning out marginalized people when we speak about our issues including bad representation, but I also don't think "every Western dragon" is a problem the same way the entire perception of Halloween witches is, for example. For "some reason" (antisemitism) we've decided that big hooked noses are a thing you strap to your face to fake being a witch, or the way witches look in clip art. This is an issue because it takes a simple, neutral feature that some of us have and exaggerates it to the point of looking nonhuman. "Ha ha," says the trope. "Wouldn't it be funny if this trait that these Others have was so different and so jarring in appearance that they looked as different as they truly are, from us, the In Group?"

If the same group of folks who had anxiety about us coexisting alongside them created the witch aesthetic as created the Western dragon lore, and indeed much of old-fashioned European fantasy, it's easy to see how their feelings about us an other marginalized groups (disabled people etc.) creep into the stories. HOWEVER, it's also incredibly easy for dragons to not be us. Or have anything to do with us. If you're nervous when writing your own stories that someone is going to mistake your greedy characters for Jewish-coded, try to establish that real (human or otherwise) Jewish characters coexist with the greedy dragon or whatever to show that you're not using the dragon as a subconscious Jewish reference. But if you're talking about just "can I continue to buy dragon merch from creators who draw cute art", the only thing I can tell you is that there's an intense diversity of opinion among the Jewish people and even though I'm saying it's fine and probably most people at my temple would say it's fine, I can't account for strangers on apps I don't even have. Personally, I think you're safe as long as you avoid dragon things that evoke the trope directly. And many MANY dragons don't even evoke the trope these days, because so many millennials and younger grew up adoring dragons so we launched media where dragons are good. And don't even always hoard wealth. Much of modern dragon media seems to ignore the greedy and/or hoarding tropes entirely or have replaced greed as a motivator for the collections with "this dragon has a special interest", which is cute and doesn't evoke antisemitic tropes at all. You'll probably be able to make good judgments about what does the trope and what doesn't, but for some additional help here is a post Meir and I did on @writingwithcolor, which is where we'd prefer these questions be directed (yes, I know we're closed currently but we're reopening soon.) P.S. If this was sent to my personal specifically to avoid the WWC ask box being closed, please don't — that's an amount of volunteer work I simply can't take on. But I also know that it's possible and likely that you didn't know about WWC at all, so now you do — feel free to peruse our vast archives of past posts. @im-tired1124

[pencilpat]

*materializes into existence*

Hey there :D

I heard ya wanted asks about your personal headcanons for the Sides? I'm curious about your thoughts on Remus & Roman, and just them being brothers. You always have the coolest takes and fanarts with them!

So, yus: ✨the twins✨

And also Virgil's and Remus' relationship with each other if ya want :3

Anyway, have fun :D

Hello my favourite breakfast food mutual! /j

I have so much to say about the twins and their relationship to each other.

To start with, I want to clarify that the two of them very clearly have a lot of issues to work out, and although I love them being brotherly, I do think a lot of their fighting might be a little... more genuine than that. They are very much pitted against each other both by their natures and by the other sides, and Remus is intentionally antagonistic to Roman a lot. It's not healthy, but they are brothers nonetheless, and like most sibling relationships they have a lot of complexities to them and their feelings on each other.

Now getting into headcanon territory!

I don't really ascribe to the common fanon of a big "splitting" event that resulted in the two of them. I also don't think there was a King as fun as that headcanon is. I think the original creativity was something more childlike, like a puppet/muppet looking fella or a stereotypical cartoon character trope - maybe something disney based. When Logan talks about them splitting like an ovum, he seems to be talking about a much slower, gradual process as Thomas had those catholic ideals of thought crimes and repentence forced into him. Religious thought like that is integrated into a child's mind in a much slower fashion than that of which would cause a sudden and massive separation.

I like to think that Remus came about the way mold or a nest parasite does. Slowly growing off of and out of the original creativity until he was his own being entirely. Strong enough to pull off of the 'host' and grow on his own. I like comparing him to a cuckoo bird baby. He didn't understand why he's so much hungrier, so much bigger, than his sibling. He didn't understand why he was so out of place and different from his foster siblings in the nest. He didn't understand why he had done something very bad, but he knew that he had. He is so hungry. So much bigger than the rest. He is so much - too much. He has done something very bad. He doesn't know what he's done. He's done something... horrible. He is something horrible.

Remus and Roman have been compared to each other and placed above or below the other their entire time of existing. That creates really difficult feelings about your sibling when you're raised like that. Remus having to always be seen as 'worse' created self esteem issues that manifest as him purposefully making himself as unlikeable as possible. He absolutely can't handle positive attention or praise, and tends to see it as not genuine or that the person is fooling themselves when he does receive it. Roman, heralded as the 'good creativity' and always put on a pedestal, is the opposite. He cannot handle negativity towards his creations or himself, and being the Ego doesn't help with that. Roman is very easily hurt by criticism because he used to always be praised for anything he made, when Thomas was a child.

Remus and Roman get in a LOT of physical fights, being imaginary has its perks such as "I can decapitate my annoying brother and he will be fine and still yelling at me." It helps them blow off some of the animosity between them, and usually they patch each other up after which also helps with that. I think they drum up entire battle scenarios in The Mindpalace with dragons and manticores and all sorts of beasts to tear each other apart, only to laugh and put each other back together.

I think that sometimes, even though most of their relationship is fighting and bickering, they really are the only one that can comfort each other. They understand each other's painful emotions and self esteem issues so well that the other sides couldn't get anywhere close to the ability they have to make each other feel better. They're brothers, no matter how much they dislike that fact, and they know each other inside and out.

This is very long so I will talk about Remus & Virgil at a later date! You can see a tiny bit of my thoughts in this post though.