#i feel like ive tagged yall in something similar before but whatever !!

[ohraicodoll]

i just wanna start off by saying i am obsessed with your feral reader series. ever since i started the show ive had a strong urge to write something with an unhinged character similar to your red but never found the energy to, and your work has fufilled that urge lol.

anyways i was just wondering, if you think ellie would ever lash out at red for her selflessness? ellie obvs has abandonment issues, and as her and reds relationship evolves i can see ellie start to become more and more frustrated with reds lack of will to live. simply because ellie doesnt think she could handle loosing red.

what are your thoughts?

Thank you so much! I'm just so thrilled people enjoy it all and the character! I think it would take a while for Ellie to lash out. Joel makes himself an easy target, but its almost more intimidating with Red. But I think it would take them being settled in Jackson for a while, Ellie realizing she's going to be with them for the rest of their lives, and seeing how Red is still being reckless with herself before she finally snaps. Because it's not getting through to her that she matters and is needed. And because yall are so nice, here's a little drabble of it! (I live purely off yalls comments and messages and tags like a fanfic Kirby)

(Feral Masterlist)

The walk back into town was quiet, tension filling the space between the three as they turned in their horses to the stables and made the walk back to their house. For once Ellie wasn’t talking, wasn’t chatting their ears off, didn’t even make mention of the new book they had found that she had been eager to grab since it was the first of the series. Not the third or the second or fifth. First. A rare find. No, instead she was walking ahead of them, face pinched and moving with a heavy stomp with each step. Joel wasn’t in a much better mood, brow heavily furrowed and scowling at the ground. She was used to their lackluster sunshine attitudes. It’s not like she was much better, but now it seemed distinctly aimed at her. She was left to pick up the rear behind them, trying to ignore the looks of the townsfolk as they stared at her, gritting her teeth. She knew Joel was angry, but Ellie seemed to be as well and that felt odd. It had been a quick scout. They’d been trying to search further and further away from Jackson to comb through whatever resources they could. Eventually they would do farther scouts out of state, but they wanted to make sure everything had been picked clean. The area had already been swept multiple times and Ellie had wanted to come with them, saying she didn’t want to get soft and lose sight of what it was like out there. They’d let her come. It wasn’t a new spot and they both were there. If she was safe with anyone, it was them. But they hadn’t counted on infected moving into the area, traveling there. There’d been a few and when Ellie had accidentally tripped and fell, one going for her, she’d tackled it to keep her away. They’d wrestled hard until her knife found its home in its head and it had slumped off of her. It wasn’t anything out of the usual. They’d had closer scrapes and harder fights on the way to Utah. But Joel had ripped into her on the way back for pulling a stupid move instead of shooting it, for the thousandth time since she’d known him, and Ellie had been quiet the entire way back. She was used to Joel’s anger, but wasn’t sure about the teenager’s. Ellie was hardly ever mad at her and she wasn’t sure how to feel now that she was its target. They both entered the house ahead of her and she quietly shut the door behind them, chewing on her lip, feeling the tension build. Ellie threw her backpack into the corner of the living room roughly, stomping towards the connecting kitchen. Joel caught her eye and then shook his head, huffing before dumping his own pack in the downstairs bedroom. “So I have to deal with both of you being pissy?” In the safety of their home, she could be more direct. But there was no confidence in her voice, the sarcasm flimsy. Even with them, she had a hard time communicating sometimes. 

Ellie slammed her hand down on the kitchen and spun to face her, cheeks red with anger, “You can’t do that, Red!” She swallowed her sigh, back stiffening as she clenched her jaw, “Do what?” The teenager growled out a loud groan and stomped back to her, using as much of her height as she could to get into her face, “Be that reckless! Joel gets after you all the time and you keep doing it!” “Ellie,” she bit out sternly, but the girl didn’t stop. Joel stood in the back, looking at the scene but not interfering, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. He would be no help to her. “Why didn’t you shoot it?” Ellie shouted, “You could have gotten bit! I’m immune but you’re not and you just fucking threw yourself on top of it!” “Yes, you’re immune, but it can still hurt you,” she argued back and put her hands on her hips, not knowing how to fight with the one person who seemed to be her constant defender. It seemed obvious. Ellie was in danger so she stopped it. She wasn’t sure why this was suddenly not okay. “So what! We get hurt all the time, but it can kill you!” Ellie’s voice was rising and she could see her shaking, lips pinching and eyes getting glossy. Her throat caught, a lump forming at seeing the passion and anger in the kid’s face as she adamantly continued to argue even as her voice choked up, “If it bit you, we’d have to fucking put you down. Do you get that? And then I’m stuck with fucking Joel alone and who the fuck is gonna take care of us?” Her eyes lifted to find Joel’s as Ellie shuddered, ducking her head and trying to swallow her tears. His face had softened, some of the anger gone, lips pursed. The look was frustration, exhaustion, sad pulling his lips down. So many times he’d yelled at her to stop being so careless, to stop treating herself as if she didn’t matter, and she had shrugged it off. Because Ellie was all that mattered. If something happened to her, she had Joel and it would be fine because they had each other. They had each other before she showed up and they would have each other after. But there was no mission anymore, no goal to get her to the Fireflies, nothing. There was only life. Living in Jackson together for the rest of their lives. She was still throwing herself in harm’s way though, because even if Ellie wasn’t going to save the world, she was her kid. And she couldn’t let anything happen to her. She hadn’t considered what it would do to Ellie if she was gone. Had remembered her argument with Joel when he tried to pass her off to Tommy. Everyone had left her or was dead. The tears won out and Ellie’s shoulders shook even as she desperately tried to look tough and hold it together. She didn’t say anything, didn’t console her that it would be okay. She just ran her hand over her hair and tucked her head into her chest. Ellie’s arms were a vice as she wrapped them around her waist, a steel band around her body, the flood gates opening as sobs broke through and she cried into her shirt. She only held her tightly, combing her hand over the loose strands of her ponytail and resting her head on hers. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, feeling her shake even harder, “I’m sorry.” Through her muffled sniffles, so quiet she almost didn’t catch it, she heard the reply, “Don’t leave me.” Her heart broke a little and she watched as Joel came a little closer. In that way they always could communicate silently, always seemed to be on the same frequency, she understood the look on his face. His eyes flickered to the kid in her arms, staring at her with a sigh, but looking back at her and giving her a nod. “Do better for her,” it seemed to say. She swallowed hard, pressing her face into Ellie’s hair, before nodding back. “I will.”

_____________________ Taglist:

@alouise20 @faceache111​ @hawsx3​ @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover @emlovesya  @agent007knight @spaacerabbit @namgification @wonwoosthetic​  @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy

[pinolitas]

30 questions

tagged by @sadbatgaybat heheh tyty

Rules : Answer 30 questions and tag blogs you want to know better (this originally said tag 20 but that is too many???)

1. Name/Nickname : Angel/Angie 

2. Gender : will determine later lol

3. Star sign : LEO SUN cancer moon and scorpio rising

4. Height : 5′4″ anyone taller than me is tall and anyone shorter than me is short ok im perfectly average!!

5. Time : 9:40am

6. Birthday : August 17 😌

7. Favorite band : Cane Hill!!! i only recently came back to metal music so idk any other bands

8. Favorite Solo Artist : Charli XCX always that is my queen always embarassing herself but never problematic

9. Song stuck in my head : FMU by Brooke Candy... it keeps me up at night

10. Last movie : idk but i know i went to the theater in february 2020 to see birds of prey lmao

11. Last show : jujutsu kaisen bc i rewatch the same 2 shows over and over and over but this one especially bc it has several dubs on crunchyroll that i will watch even if i dont understand

12. When I created that blog : June 2012 😔

13. What I post : shitposts and anime and cute animals

14. Last thing I googled : "top artists short term spotify” i wasnt sure how to answer the favorite band question ok

15. Other blogs : no!

16. Do I get asks : if im funny??

17. Why I chose this url : was a blink 182 blog and this url was funny

18. Following : 213

19. Followers : 538 and yes they are all inactive and from my blink-182 days 😌

20. Average hours of sleep : 6-9

21. Lucky number : 4

22. Instruments : i own a keyboard but have not learned how to use it 😓

23. What I am wearing : pajamas

24. Dream job : holding a baby owl

25. Dream trip : somewhere with mountains to go hiking!!

26. Favorite food: this is always changing but rice is always perfect? specifically mexican rice but only my mom’s

27. Nationality : unfortunately i am from the US

28. Favorite song : Shutter Island by Jessie Reyez

29. Last book I read : Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake (its an audiobook but i think it counts)

30. Top 3 Universes I'd like to live in : haikyuu only !!!

Tagging : @obeism, @lesbianakaashi, @mosssss, @slartibartfast, @sproutmilk

[spookyboogie3]

The trope Last Minute Hookup shouldn’t be used for LGBTQ+ relationships.

AND DEFENDING MY LAST POST ABOUT THIS.

I DO NOT hate any of these pairings. A good many of them could have been handled differently by the creators, writers, and networks. But this isnt me hating the relationships or characters or shows. Just going off about how they shouldnt have been tacked on at the end of their respective series. 

As of writing this all of these shows have ended their original runs. Except for Supernatural which is on its last few episodes. And Supergirl, which announced its coming to end with season 6.

LGBTQ characters and relationships aren’t as common in the media as straight-cis characters and relationships. Sure things are improving but a lot of networks and writers still don’t fully understand why representation is important why they can’t keep using the same throwaway tropes they’ve been using for the straight-cis relationships.

You could name any piece of media and find and name one character that isn’t LGBTQ+, but you can’t do this with LGBTQ+ characters. We haven’t gotten to the point where they are as common as non-LGBTQ characters.

I have a whole paper I wrote on why asexual representation is important to have in the media and the same logic applies to any part of the LGBTQ+ or anything that falls under minority.

Back to the topic on hand. The trope of “Last Minute Hookup.”

Its exactly what it sounds like. Characters get to together at the very end of the story. These characters could have a on and off again relationship, lots of ship teasing, the classic “Will They or Wont They?” trope. What makes it different for non-LGBT characters in relationships to do this, we know what these relationships look like. Not to say the that both Non and LGBT relationship cant have similar struggles, however members of the LGBTQ+ community know how hard it is to feel like your identity and self matters and is normal.

I know that the whole “will they, wont they” thing is done for drama and networks and showrunners think if they give the fans what they want that they’ll start losing viewers and they have nothing to look forward to. Which is true to some degree. But most of this comes from the writers not knowing how to fucking write relationships.

Let’s just focus on whats it like to be in a non-straight relationship.

Heres an example: you have an action series, with 2 male leads and halfway through the show, they get together. Cool. Now you have a Battle Couple.

By making LGBTQ relationships happen at the end of a series that’s already had plenty of other non-LGBTQ relationships happen before it, it makes it look like the people in charge don’t care for it or were afraid of backlash. But it’s the end of the series so its not like they can get the show cancelled or anything. (The only people who are going to lash out at LGBT couple or characters are homophobic people, we don’t want them around any way so just make stuff super gay, so they’ll leave)

This is especially a problem when the writer and network have spent the whole series queerbaiting the audience with these characters.

 Side note for anyone is doesn’t actually know what queerbaiting is:

It’s a marketing technique used in entertainment, which the writer or creators hint at but then don’t actually depict sex-same romance or LGBTQ representation. They do this to attract (bait) the LGBT/queer or straight ally audience into the show with the suggestion of representation but at the same time avoiding this as not alienate other audience members *cough* (homophobes) *cough*

Definition is from Wikipedia, not a reliable source says my highschool teachers and college professors but fuck em

The Legend of Korra is a great example of Last-Minute Hookup. Korra and Asami had VERY little ship teasing, and that was in the last 2 books/seasons. Any thing that was perceived as romantic came from the fans wearing shipping goggles. So to a lot of people just casually watching, yes this looked like it came out of nowhere. Nickelodeon had some serious balls to say how brave they were for putting 2 girls into a romantic relationship.

Theres a few problems with this.

A. It never actually aired on TV (to my knowledge). The last 2 seasons of Korra were put on Nicks website.

B. The confirmation that this Korrasami was canon had to come from the creators on twitter because of how unclear it was.

C. The show did the bare minimum when it came to hooking them up in the series. They walk off holding hands (very cute btw). They didn’t even get a kiss. Aang and Katara had a Last Minute Hookup at the end of ATLA after 3 seasons of ship tease and THEY GOT A KISS. Hell the original end of LoK*, has Korra and Mako kissing. *(the first season, they didn’t know they were getting more seasons at the time, no matter what you hear the writers say, they’re full of shit)

D. Anything continuation of Korra has come in the form of comics, which her and Asami are in a fairly well written relationship. Yes, they do kiss. Yes it would’ve been great to see this stuff happen in series.

A show that handles this a little bit better is Adventure Time. Not by much though. It implied several times that Princess Bubblegum and Marceline have history together and its shown more and more in its last few seasons that there is some ship tease happening. However its not until the finale where they kiss, and they are shown in the last minute of the show cuddling together in Marcy’s house. HBO has picked up Adventure Time and has a miniseries called Adventure Time: Distant Lands, where Bubblegum and Marceline’s past relationship is shown.  

I had brought up in my original post about being upset with networks making LGBTQ+ relationships canon in the last season/episode. I originally had Catradora tagged. While Catra and Adora have history together, they did not become official couple until the end of the series.

Yes, I was wrong about the network making things canon in the last episode as they’ve always had ship tease with each other, and it probably was the writers’ intent to put them together by the end. They do technically fall under the Last-Minute Hookup, however.

I wanna talk about Once Upon a Time really quick. Fans of the show were hoping and wishing for an LGBTQ couple for the show as a lot of characters, especially Regina and Emma, have alot Ho Yay moments. The showrunners weren’t going to put those two together, for whatever reasons they may have for that (im indifferent on all the shipping going on with this show). The showrunners thought to put two characters together, and hoo boy did it not make people happy. The characters they put together are Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and Ruby the red riding hood, which would be fine if they had properly been developed.

The entire episode they did this in was a mess. They stopped the current arc during the season 5 episode ‘Ruby Slippers,’ to go over the characters that haven’t been seen in years, Dorothy was introduced and last seen in season 3, and Ruby was introduced in season 1 and was last seen in season 5 before ‘Ruby Slippers’. The characters get together in the same episode the meet in and are never seen again. The characters barely interacted, barely got along, and showed little to no ship tease or interest in each other and BOOM they are in love and together aaaaaannnnndd they’re gone. Other than having One Million Moms, a Christian fundamentalist organization, protest against the show and want it taken off the air (yes this really happened). The fans weren’t please with this development of the characters either.  

(also Mulan was right there and already knew Ruby from a previous episode, and Mulan already is established to like girls as shown by her being in love with Aurora. Don’t know why the writers didn’t just put these 2 together but whatever I guess)

So they tried again in season 7 with MadArcher. The characters of Alice, a version of Alice in Wonderland from another realm (its complicated) and Robin, the daughter of Robin Hood and the Wicked Witch (it’s also complicated). And the writers did a lot better here. Both characters were allowed to have time together and have a history together too and it was done over the whole season. Not just one episode.

Now even though the writers decided to do something different with the last season and it could be detached from the previous 6 seasons, MadArcher is not really a Last Minute Hookup per say but still falls under my thing about it being the last season so who gives a fuck if One Million Moms gets mad us and tries to get us cancelled again.

 I would like to say I have never watched a single episode of Supernatural in my life. I may one day. But as of right now my knowledge of it is coming primary from what ive seen on tumblr. You know a great source for doing research and looking for reliable information among the piles of shitposting.

From what I know from fans, the writers of Supernatural have been queer baiting for years. I mean it’s the CW, I’m not that surprised. What also wouldn’t surprise me, that by the end of the series Castiel is back and he and Dean actually start and relationship or strongly hint at starting one. I actually fear for the writer lives if they threw out a confession scene after years of queerbaiting and potential ship tease (debatable) and they don’t put them together. Fans are going to be angrier than they probably ever have been with this show and the showrunners and writers really would be known for queer baiting.

From what I know about how previous shows have done and if anyone that has ever worked on this show wants to continue living, Castiel will be back from Super Hell (is that what yall are calling it?) and he will get together with Dean. And they will fall under the Last-Minute Hookup trope and my networks make LGBTQ relationships canon last season.

 One last show I want to talk about is Supergirl, which in has been recently announced that the 6th season will be the last. The show started on CBS but moved to the CW after the end of season 1. So more CW bullshit. There is no confirmation about whether the CW or any of the Supergirl writers are planning to do this, its all speculation. Supergirl is more LGBTQ friendly than some other shows on the Network. One of the main characters came out a few years ago and had a girlfriend a season and has had plenty of hookups with other ladies around the Arrowverse. They even introduced a trans-woman superhero in the form of Dreamer.

Let’s talk SuperCorp. Lena Luthor was introduced in the 2nd season and has been a major character in Kara’s life ever since her introduction. Even if she isn’t involved in the plot, Kara always goes to her to talk and check in on her and worry about her. They are best friends. Since the 2 have met, there has been plenty of Les Yay going on. The writers seem to be aware of the fans wanting SuperCorp to be canon and they keep throwing in moments like Kara and Lena struggling together or Kara carrying Lena bridal style.

Why I bring this up after the announcement of Supergirl’s final season to start next year. We may get SuperCorp. Kara has a relationship with William in the show and not a single person likes this relationship. The writers may scrap it and get put Kara and Lena together for the final season. This is a big maybe though. The Supergirl writers and crew get called out a lot for queerbaiting.

   Let me know if you guys have any other examples of last season/last episode LGBTQ+ hookup.

And please let me know if you see any mistakes. This was all done in one sitting so I may have some things wrong.

Also check out the video by @aretheygayvideos on this topic too.

[shadedrose01]

Maybe There's a Reason (To Believe You'll Be Okay)

Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark (platonic), Harley Keener/Peter Parker (at the end)

Summary: Harley has a crisis, and Tony helps him through it (with a hint of parkner at the end).

Tags: Remix, Parkner Remix Event, Even though its barely parkner whoops, Emails, Letters, Phone Calls & Telephones, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Sexual Identity, Identity Issues, Coming Out, Kinda?, Sexuality, Gay Harley Keener, Crushes, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Acceptance, Self-Acceptance, Love, Parental Love, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, tony stark is a dad, why is that not a tag, Parkner is only at the end, for like a paragraph, Just so yall know :)

For the Parkner Discord Remix Event!!

A remix of @official-impravidus ' fic "Sincerely, Me" (which you can read here!)

This is longer, so ao3 link is here!

Hope you all enjoy! Love you lexie!!

--

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 1:24PM 

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: Relationships and Mark V

I don't understand dating. Like, my friend Bryan started dating Rachel today, and that's fine, whatever, but I just don't get it. All they did was hold hands and kiss each other all day. Is that all a relationship is? What even is the point of it? I mean, I know humans are animals and our instincts give us our need to reproduce so we need to find a viable mate and all that stuff, but why do you need to always be together, and hold hands, and do all of that gross stuff too?

Either way, I finally got around to building a mark V for my potato gun! It's just a few upgrades up from the mark IV, for faster shots and farther range, but I think it'll be cool once it's done. 

I hope your day is going okay.

-Harley

 

~~~

 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 10:43PM 

From: tes@starkindustries.com

To: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Relationships and Mark V

Relationships are complex, and complicated. Humans are born to reproduce, yes, but dating, and finding a partner is more than that. It's finding someone you're compatible with, who can be there at your best and at your worst, and a bunch of other deep seeded emotions that are hard to explain.

You don't need to worry about that now, though. You'll understand more when you're older, anyways, so I wouldn't worry about it.

My day has been good. More of a lazy day today, Pepper and I ordered some take out and watched movies in our pjs. I didn't have my phone on me per Peppers request, or I would have answered sooner.

As for the Mark V, the updates sound good. Keep me posted, kid.

  -The Mechanic

 

~~~

 

Monday, September 8, 2014, 4:57PM 

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: Middle School!!

I started middle school today!! And honestly? It wasn't as exciting as I thought it was gonna be. I knew that movies and tv shows oversell the wow factor of middle school and high school but I didn't think it'd be this dull. I'm still in the same class, with all the same classmates, and my classes are still crazy easy. I had hoped that the increase in grade would make it even a little bit harder, but I knew everything on the outline they gave out before the teachers even started teaching!! It's bonkers!

Apparently this middle school also has a STEM, or "gifted" kid program for kids like me though, so hopefully that'll be harder. I'm still gonna be so bored in my normal classes though. Ugh.

I have the STEM classes tomorrow, so I'll tell you how it goes. I know you've been stuck in those awful meetings lately, but I hope your day is going better than mine.

  -Harley

 

~~~

 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014, 5:04PM

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: STEM Program

I had my STEM class day today, and it went a lot better than yesterday did! My teachers are all super nice, especially my math teacher, Mr. Trevor. He immediately starting teaching today, which was awesome, because all of my other normal teachers had a Ice Breaker class first (which I hate, we all already know each other, why do we have to say our names and something about ourselves??), but he just went right into it, and started teaching us trigonometry. I haven't learned any of it before, and I'm super excited to dig into it and find out how it works. It's seeming pretty simple so far, just formulas and using calculators right.

The only bummer is the class I got put with. They all seemed to click and get along well together, but none of them really talked to me much. I don't mind though. I'm more focused on my education anyways.

Also! I saw that Captain America and Black Widow took down SHIELD's headquarters on the news. What was that about? Do you know?? Apparently they leaked files too or something???

I hope everything is okay.

  -Harley

 

~~~

 

Friday, September 12, 2014, 10:27AM 

From: tes@starkindustries.com

To: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

Subject: Re: STEM Program

Hey kid. Sorry for the late response, things have been hectic here, as you probably know. It's been a PR nightmare, with the whole "Cap took SHIELD down" fiasco. I can't say more than that though. Legal things, NDAs, you know how it is.

I'm glad the STEM classes are testing your abilities more. I know the regular classes can be boring for someone of your intellect, but try to enjoy them while they last, okay? Soon you'll be an adult, and doing adult things, and trust me, it isn't as fun as they make it out to be in the movies either.

Don't worry about those kids too. Give it time, they'll come around.

  -The Mechanic

 

~~~

 

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:02PM

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: Update?

Hi. Just emailed to give an update on me. Everything's been pretty normal, I guess. Abbie's loving elementary school, her teacher, Mrs. Millar, is really nice. I did my trig test today, and I think I did well. Mama's working late again tonight, but that's just normal at this point too.

Have you ever, I dunno. Felt like you were weird? Or strange, or broken? Like, all of your friends are one way, and doing some things, but you aren't, and everyone looks at you weird, and treats you differently?

I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel off tonight. Think I'm going to go to bed early.

I'm sorry.

  -Harley

 

~~~

 

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:48PM 

From: tes@starkindustries.com

To: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Update?

 

You don't need to apologize, kid. You did nothing wrong.

I used to feel like that, quite frequently if I'm being honest. When I first went to MIT, I felt weird. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and had people talk about me behind my back because of how young I was. But then I met Rhodey, and things got better.

And then Afghanistan happened. And the invasion. Let me tell you kid, I've never felt more broken and alone after that. I had panic attacks, as you know, but I also struggled with a lot of paranoia. Lack of sleeping or eating properly, mixed with trauma does that to you. I was a wreck, and I was so certain I couldn't be fixed. That I'd be like that forever.

And to an extent, I will be. I'll always struggle with it, but it's much, much better now than it used to be. I went to therapy, talking about my feelings, which sucked ass (don't tell your mom I said that), and learned mechanisms to help myself. Learned breathing techniques, practiced meditation, focused more on self care, and now I'm doing so much better.

So, moral of this long, way too personal story. You aren't broken, kid. Whatever is going on, whether it's similar to me or not (I hope not), it'll be okay. You will be okay. Things will work out. And don't worry about what other people think. Focus on yourself, and do what makes you happy, no matter what.

I'm always here if you need to talk, Harley. I might not be much help, or be very good at this whole hormonal preteen emotions thing yet, but I can try.

I'm glad things are going okay outside of that though. I'm glad your sister's settling in well, and I'm sure you aced your test. You're a smart kid.

Goodnight.

  -Tony

 

~~~

 

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:38PM

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: Call

Hey, can we call? I know you're probably busy, and we don't normally do that but I'm kinda freaking out about something and I don't know who else to talk to. My number is (___)  ___-____

  -Harley

 

~~

 

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:41PM

From: countryroadstakemehometotennessee@gmail.com

To: tes@starkindustries.com

Subject: Re: Call

Nevermind, ignore that last email. I was being overdramatic, and stupid. I'm fine, everything is okay.

Sorry for bothering you.

  -Harley

 

---

 

He didn't expect anything from the emails. He assumed the older man would've read his last email, and shrugged it off, pretending the previous didn't exist like Harley longed for him too. As he said, he was being dumb. It didn't matter that his heart was pounding, that his brain was screaming at him that he was a freak, and dirty, and so so so wrong , that he was shaking like a leaf and on the verge of tears. It didn't matter. It was stupid. It didn't matter.

He didn't expect that Tony would actually still call him.

He stares at his vibrating cell phone through teary eyes, blurry vision, the number unknown but he knows who it is, knows it because nobody else calls, because when his friends call, they call the home phone, not his phone, so who else could it be?

He blinks the tears out of his eyes, rubbing them away quickly when a few escape, swallowing down his fear and panic and self hatred as he scrambles to pick it up before the call ends (he doesn't think Tony would appreciate it very much if he let it ring to voicemail), stuttering out a shaky, higher pitched "H-Hello?"

"Hey, kid." Tony's voice, much lower and rougher than his, rings through the phone, and Harley braces for the questions, the interrogation he knows is coming, knows Tony's gonna ask him about it, about what's bothering him. Why, why did he email him? Now he's gonna have to tell him what's wrong, now he's gonna have to admit it, admit how wrong and messed up and broken he is- "How was your day?"

Harley jerks back slightly, mouth gaping and eyes wide, caught off guard by the unexpected tame question. "Huh?"

"How was your day?" The man repeats calmly, tone smooth, even, relaxed, like it's a normal conversation on a normal, boring day. Nothing like how Harley is feeling, nothing like the swarming thoughts in his mind, like the flood of emotions in his chest, like the churning in his stomach, the burning ache in his lungs. 

"U-uhm," Damn his stutter, he had grown out of it years ago, why was it suddenly coming back now? "I-it was good." He lies, trying to keep his voice from wavering, trying to keep it steady, trying to stay composed as the tsunami of emotions tries to pull him under. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Tony prods lightly, voice softening slightly, and Harley shakes his head in a nod, firm, even though Tony can't see it, even as tears start to burn at his eyes again, even his chest winds tighter and tighter and tighter .

"Mhm." He forces out, not trusting himself to speak anymore, his throat closing as his feelings start rising up his esophagus, a sob clawing its way up his throat, trying to escape.

There's a pause, then, a moment when everything freezes. A moment right before the iceberg tips, right before everything crashing and burning down around him, right before the beginning of the end. And then, time starts again, as the mechanic asks, quiet, hushed "What's going on, Harley?"

And Harley crumbles .

The sob rips from his throat, echoing loudly in the large emptiness of his garage, a trembling hand covering his mouth as soon as he does. But the floodgates have already opened, tears are streaming full force down his face, his body shuttering through shaky gasps and shattered sobs. "I-I-Im sorry ," He chokes out as he sits down heavily in his old, pachy wheely chair, curling into himself as his body shutters again. He rubs his eye with the hand on his face, sniffling and coughing through a whimpered, "I-I know you're- you're probably b-busy, you- you don't h-have to-"

"I have nowhere else to be." Tony murmurs simply, cutting off Harley's poor attempt at waving him off, at delaying the inevitable for any longer. Harley lets out a small whine as the older man speaks up again, soft, soothing, repeating gently, "What's going on, kid?"

"I-I dont-" He hiccups, running a hand through his shaggy, too long blond curls, tugging slightly as his knee bounces rapidly. "M-My friends, or my classmates, they- lately, they've been, I don't know, they've been talking- talking more about crushes and girls and stuff." Harley sniffles, tugging his hair harder as his vision starts to blur again, the words tumbling out of his mouth now. "And- and I never really c-cared about it, you know? I never really- really unders-stood it, didn't see the appeal, s-so I didnt m-mind it. But they- they just keep talking about it, and getting g-girlfriends, and-and talking about their bodies and I didnt get the- the i-interest, so I thought maybe something was wrong with me-"

"There isn't." Tony chips in, but Harley just runs right over him, keeps blabbering. He knows it's rude, knows his mama taught him better, but he can't seem to stop talking now that he started, his words getting more and more wobbly, panicked the longer he goes.

"But there is , there is something wrong with me, I- I know there is now, be-because when I-I went to school today, the- the past few days really, I started- started noticing that I started f-feeling weird, and- and it sounds- sounds similar to how the- the others say they feel, but it doesn't make sense , it can't be that, I dont- I cant-" Harley's breath catches, and he grinds his teeth together, refuses to speak another word, refuses to accept it, refuses to admit the god awful truth, refuses to utter the words. Because it can't be right, it can't be true, it can't be-

They sit in silence for a few moments, when he assumes Tony thought he would continue speaking but he wont, he refuses , until the softer, calmer voice returns, slightly staticky through the speaker, but barely more than a whisper, as if he spoke any louder, Harley would shatter. He probably would. "So, if I'm understanding correctly, you think you have a crush, and you're... scared?"

He doesn't sound patronizing, just honest, if a bit curious, but it doesn't help calm Harley any, a higher pitched, frustrated noise escaping the back of his throat, his free hand going out of his hair going back to rubbing at his face, rubbing off the tracks of tears, trying to rub away any sign of upset, until his skin is red and raw. "No, I-I mean, kinda- its not- I can't- god , this is so stupid."

"Its not stupid. I get it." The man responds, and Harley wants to laugh, feels the bitter feeling bubbling in his chest, because does he? How can he get this? Harley doesn't even get this, it doesn't- he shouldn't- "What's her name?"

The sound erupts out of him at that, but instead of laughter like he thought it would be, it's just another pitiful whine, another loud, agonizing sob. Because that's the thing, the thing that's been haunting him ever since he figured it out earlier that day, the issue that's been plaguing his mind and freaking him out, winding him up more and more and more as the day went on until he got home and sent those messages. 

Because- because when he thinks back to earlier that day, he thinks of lunchtime, of sitting at his lunch table with his "friends", of them talking and laughing, of Harley feeling those weird feelings again, especially when he looked across from him, and saw big, forest green eyes, saw a big, toothy grin, saw two small dimples and scattered freckles, saw short, short black hair, saw a sharper, thinner jaw, saw male male male, felt butterflies flutter, and realized he was wrong, wrong, wrong .

Because- "It's not a girl." His voice is small, defeated, barely a whisper, his whole body tensed up in fear, waiting, waiting for his reaction.

There's a pause, before a faint, quiet, sympathetic, "Oh, kid." That Harley immediately the wrong way, because he hates him, oh god he hates him-

"I'm sorry!" He gasps, jerking upright, sitting ramrod straight and the apologies spilling from his mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didnt- I dont mean to, and I-I know its wrong, and I shouldn't, and I-I know I'm weird and- and a freak , and-"

"Hey, hey, woah!" Tony's voice is louder now, stronger, and Harley hushes up immediately, his mouth slamming shut, even as his body trembles with a silent sob. "It's okay, kid. You aren't any of that."

"But- but I am!" Harley whimpers. "I'm w-weird, and everyone else isn't like this , and-"

"Am I a freak?" Again, the random question sends Harley for a loop, trying to grasp onto any of his quickly scattering thoughts.

"W-what?"

He can hear a faint smile, faint amusement in Tony's tone as he asks again, still so so calm, so reassured, "Am I a freak?"

Harley narrows his shining eyes, still full of tears, staring down at the wooden table in front of him, at the chips and nicks covering the side of it, wondering if this is a trick question. "N-No? Of- of course not, you're Iron Man."

He can hear some noise in the background of the call now, squeaking as if someone's leaning back in a chair, before Tony speaks up again, voice full of warm amusement now. "Well, Iron Man has had a few rendezvous with men in the past, and still likes them to this day. Does that make him, and therefore, me, a freak?" When Harley doesn't answer, mostly out of pure shock than anything else, Tony keeps going, tone going serious again. "Kid, I'm gonna get this out there right away. There is nothing wrong with you for liking boys, you hear me?"

He swallows, and wants to agree, longs to agree, but- "But- but my friends, they all like- like girls , and mama, she- she said that traditional marriage was what God wanted and-"

Harley cuts himself off this time, and Tony only waits a few beats before murmuring softly, "Is that what you think?"

He just shrugs, picking at the table, sniffling, whispering quietly, "I don't know what to think anymore."

There's a soft hum and another pause. "You're different, Harley. I'm not going to beat around the bush, you are different." Harley stomach drops. "But," Tony continues, "Kid, you've always been different. You're so smart, way too smart for your own good, if I'm being honest. And there's nothing wrong with that. People may try to bring you down, or kick you while you are down, but you've gotta remember that, okay? There is nothing wrong with you."

Harley waits a few moments, let's the words wash over him and wrap him in a blanket of warmth, of security and comfort, but there's still one little thing that keeps rearing its ugly head, that's still making him antsy. "But, what if I'm just- overreacting? And I don't actually... y-you know." He finishes lamely, still not ready to completely admit to everything yet.

Tony doesn't seem to mind. "Then that's okay too." He says simply, a bit of shuffling coming through the line. "Kid, how old are you again, like twelve?"

He can hear the teasing in his tone, and rolls his eyes as he huffs out, "Thirteen." 

The older man chuckles for a second, before his voice goes back to calm, quiet. "Seriously though, you're thirteen , Kid. You don't need to have everything figured out right away." He snorts, then. "I sure didn't. I think I was a mess at your age, wasn't even thinking about relationships. At least, not long term." There's a pause. "Point is, you don't need to know right now. This might be a fluke, and you might end up liking only girls from here on out. You might end up just liking boys, liking both, or neither, who knows? But you've got time, kid, and that's the key. Give it time . And whatever it ends up being, whatever ends up happening..." His voice softens at the end, a smile prominent in his tone. "It'll be okay. You will be okay." 

For the first time all day, Harley finally takes a deep breath. His shoulders finally relax, his body practically melting back into his chair, and a smile grows on his face, warmth blooming in his chest. "...thanks, Tony." He whispers, hoping that the amount of pure, unfiltered gratitude he's feeling can be heard in his tone.

He thinks it can, as there's a hint of embarrassment and awkwardness in Tony's voice as he responds with a simple, "Don't mention it, squirt." 

Harley just chuckles at the sudden discomfort of the older man, before his eyes widen. "Oh! While you're here, did I tell you I passed my trig test?"

"Hey! I knew you would, kid, I had no doubt." Harley's grin widens, before he throws himself into another story, feeling warmer, safer, and happier than he has in a while.

A few years later, Tony was getting off of the elevator to his penthouse with a huff, having just gotten back from a rough meeting, when he freezes. His heart warma and a smile grows on his face when he notices Harley, now 17 years old (almost an adult, god he was so old ), curled up into Peter's chest, his face pushed into his neck, seemingly fast asleep. Peter's head rests on top of Harley's, eyes open but hooded, as if keeping them open was getting difficult. They glance over to Tony immediately, though (damn his spider sense and increased hearing), and a faint blush forms on his cheeks even as he smiles lightly, his eyes softening as he glances back down at his boyfriend and presses a firm kiss onto his head. Tony watches the interaction with a soft grin, before quietly stepping away, his chest full of mostly warm, sappy feelings, but also full of pride and joy, knowing his pseudo son is accepted, happy and loved.

[vincent-frankenstein]

different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half. 

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day. 

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too. 

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort 

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep. 

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it  as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

[kyufiber-moved]

I feel like u have a lot of amazing ideas. Can u list them all our do u wanna keep them secret? Like a big masterlist of all the types of aus u wanna write someday. I know i have like 3 pages of ideas. I've actually written down plots to a lot of them, but i don't get much father than that 😬 -🐖

wkjefkwej i do have lots of ideas ((idk about AMAZING damn ily) but most of them are just swirling around my head tbh,,, i have an 18 page google doc with old ideas but then i didnt keep writing ideas down there so ,,, it would be like 30 pages long if i had kept at it ksjdfkjefj

i do want to ((for the most part)) keep my ideas secret so that 1. ppl wont use them before i can SKFKJE and 2. so that if i do post / write / etc them, ppl won’t have alr seen them before !!! but i can post vague-ish ?? summaries of them !!!! also this turned out to be way longer than i thought so . apologies

modern cinderella sns au

hanahaki au 

ao haru ride au

modernized jane eyre au

love alarm au

stoic tsundere chef!kyungsoo (see here)

au based off of shinee’s view music video (which i alr kinda did with runaways but . still ive had this idea for years)

tatbilb au

teacher x student au

fashion blogger!y/n

bad bitch!y/n and nerd!main lead

false memories au ((a lot more complicated but hard to explain simply so,,, ill leave it at that))

au based off of the dawnguard quest in skyrim ((but just the ‘100′s of years old vampire locked in a crypt gets found by random human’ part))

au based off groupie love by lana del rey

something with the title “1-800-CUPID” ((if someone takes this i will literally cry just . dont do it . im gonna use it at some point))

something with the title “101 ways to get the girl” AGAIN DONT TAKE IT

guy takes nerdy girls and turns them into bad bitches formula au

ur new teacher / teaching assistant / boss / etc is the one night stand you had the previous night OOPS

secretly dating au

boarding school au

harry potter au 

au based off airplane by ikon

fuckboy!heejun

au based off she’s a baby by zico

halloween party costume... turns out to not be a costume :> im mostly a  romance writer but this could go a horror route idk

this svt series i was gonna do where each of them had a love story... i can list them if you want but i think i deleted the drafts bc im ocd and have a need to clean out my drafts smh... ok they are as follows ((ill prob end up writing some of these and maybe/probably changing the idol but who knows)) :

(minghao) ur bff tags you and the boy u like in an ig pic and the pic says “tag ur best friend and their crush to ruin their life” 

(jun) FAKE fake dating au ((aka guy gets girl to fake date him so his parents will back off of asking him if he has a gf except he actually likes her and its a plan to get her to fall in love w him LOL))

(jeonghan) ice cream shop summer job au feat. flirty main lead

(chan) girl and guy have a prank war that’s been ongoing for two years ever since he accidentally did smth to her and they’re rivals but then he witnesses a moment right after her bf breaks up with her and is like ok we r bffs now and yeah . its cute in theory

(wonwoo) girl is at a party and kisses someone but bc she was intoxicated she doesn’t remember who it was and the plot is her narrowing down who kissed her etc

(mingyu) best friends to lovers bc of a game of spin the bottle HAH ik its cliche but idc

(seungkwan) girl is a prim and proper student but parties over the summer and makes a whOLE fool out of herself in front of guy at one such party but she’s like eh im embarrassed but ill never see him again so its ok except . he turns out to be a transfer to her school

(woozi) guy and girl are main leads and romantic partners etc in play / movie / whatever and while they film / practice an actual behind the scenes romance develops

(dk) guy who is energetic and spastic meets rlly stoic and cold girl bc they’re lab partners and he melts her cold ass exterior

(hoshi) girl is the only daughter of a super rich family and boy is the son of the family’s maid / etc and they run into each other and end up falling for each other despite the class difference, which causes conflict later on when they want to be together yeehaw

(joshua) girl and guy are close friends n one time their friend who is an aspiring youtuber is filming and he’s like listen i want views yall should kiss . and the girl is like no ??? what . and the guy is like surprise ! and kisses her and it changes their relationship oop

(hansol) brother’s best friend!au . simple as that tbh skejfke

and lastly (scoups) famous idol!guy and company intern!girl who definitely shouldnt like each other but . totally do 

ok anyways continuing on bc my ideas never fucking stop . oblivious! popular boy taehyung and lovesick!y/n desperately trying to get it into his rock dumb brain that she likes him

i also had this idea for kim doyoung and kim gongmyung like . about the girl liking one of them and then him breaking her heart and its like a year later and she ends up with his little brother . yanno . ok

arranged relationship au BUT with a twist bc the girl also has a bf at school (basically,, something similar to my little bride??? but not the same,, just similar)

cute new boy vs bff boy who has a secret crush on oc

au based off boys by charli xcx 

au based off in your pocket by maroon 5

sugar daddy!au

then ofc i have ones ive actually started which are:

au based off mistakes like this by prelow

au based off leave your lover by echos

au based off the mv for view by shinee yanno yanno i mentioned that

royalty!dawon and bodyguard!y/n whose real identity turns out to b something nobody knew about oops

wow i didnt know i had so many ideas when will i chill

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

some meow-plies! [meow replies] [im a cat!]

Anonymous said: hey! sorry if this is a bother but i noticed in a recent kinfession (/post/180307393367) you tagged it as "regularshowkin" when I'm pretty sure that source is the amazing world of gumball :o

Oh thanks! I didn’t get anything from searching gumball so I kinda hoped regular show it the bill! Alas, it’s from a totally different duck! It’s fixed now! Thanks again! :3

   Anonymous said:    hey so, you dont want us using our urls in our confessions, but what about those of us who have a tag and later claimed a sideblog with that tag as the name, for archiving our stuff?    Anonymous said:    url question anon here: i think i made a typo, archiving**

This is mostly covered in #7 and #8 and G1 in the guidelines, both of which are on this page: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/customtags But basically no! Just straight up no! And I hope that could be left at that! Please don’t abuse the customtag option! If you start using a customtag as a url I’m not posting anything else from you! Otherwise things get confusing for people who think this is a call blog instead of just a kinfession blog, and I hate dashing their hopes of sending kin calls! :S

   Anonymous said:    hey party cat! any idea if you might be needing admins to help out sometime in the future? i'd honestly really love to help out if you need it ;v;

You're nice and appreciate the gesture, but I don't think I can promise making you an admin? I don’t know who you are? I'm not comfortable handing this blog over to a complete stranger!

   Anonymous said:    so i know yall tag ableist words and such which i love greatly, but could yall also tag uhhm like. all mentions of mental health? specifically because my brain struggles to determine between "theyre saying this in an ableist way/edgy way" and "the character/their canon has this mental disruption" & the former is pretty triggering ): i know how hard it can be for others too, esp if youre not familiar with the source, so could you tag all mental health, like as mental health cw? thank you!

Oh I have great news! The tag for mentions of mental health is '#mental health issue'! Please add that to whatever blacklist you have! Also there's two whole lists of tags used here for black listing! This one is the all purpose tags: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/b And this one is specifically for injuries / physical trauma: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/ib Also, for fun reading, we use 'issue' in tags sometimes instead of CW [content warning] for reasons explained in this post: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/post/175265877469/anonymous-said-why-is-everything-about-thing

Anonymous said: hi mod party cat! im bad reading comprehension anon, and i feel like my big paragraph caused a misunderstanding: i know now the diff between signatures and CTs, i was just wondering if im allowed for my signature to be a tag now since i didnt know before! ive read the page but maybe i missed if thats on there. again, regardless of your answer, thank you for the time! and sorry if this is just more confusing or if i missed the point. love u

I think I was confused but I understand now? If you want a signature to be a custom tag, please simply add a hastag to it! You could even have the same signature and hastag at the same time, provided you poke on a hastag for the custom tag!

So if you start using an old signature for new customtag, that would be fine! Just provided it's not a blog url, slur, commonly used tag to avoid tag clutter, etc! I mean you already read the page, I don't have to repeat it fur you! x3

Anonymous said: Hey, could @beeboies get unblocked? I dont think i did anything wrong??? I havent posted nsfw or something similar to that, nor anything else in the rules?? I tried to send a confession but then I noticed I got blocked, and if I did do something wrong I didnt notice?

Oh sorry about that! I might have blocked you for being a blank blog! A lot of time sp*m blogs will follow a ton of people before reblogging with their s/pa/m links and so I block those on sight! You're unblocked now!

Anonymous said: I can't remember if I asked this already but I sent in a response relating to a ... kin, can you delete it? I recently found out it was sent by someone who's been harassing me

I'm so sorry anon! I've deleted that response and blocked those blogs! Please let me know if there's anyone else to block! It's always horrendous when some kinfessions become honey pots like that! I hope you're feeling better by now! :s

Mod Party Cat!

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )