#i feel like it's obvious but im still trying to be cryptic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trippygalaxy · 1 year ago

Note

(i didnt mean to become as fixated on dilf! neighbor! time as i did. it was meant to be a little one-off thing and now im here now)

(i took larger-than-the-doorway! time and ramped it to 100 because i have an unhealthy relationship with size differences :P)

(looking back at this i feel like time would live in a townhouse more than apartment if he had to live in one but were already this far in and i cant be bothered to change it)

(but at the same time i already have a very specific vision of dilf! time and im here to make that someone elses problem)

(with as much love as a almost 2,000 word "drabble" im dumping on you can have, 🐈‍⬛)

it didn't take long for you to meet time's son, nicknamed twilight because of how he would sneak onto the roof in the middle of the night and howl at the moon like a wolf as a child.

time swore you to secrecy unless you wanted twilight to brood until he went home.

(you figured twilight looked around your age from the-- notably-- physical pictures he showed you.

as for time, though he had refused to give up his age and answered with some cryptic references only people from his time would know, you'd figured time was in his mid-to-late-forties despite his younger appearance.)

as soon as a greeting of "howdy," paired with a southern accent leaves twilight's mouth, you also figure that he took most of his mannerisms from his mother.

the two share a hug filled with claps on the back, "how are you," "what all happened while i was gone," and teasing that's stereotypical to a father-son pair.

it had taken a minute of twilight taking in the apartment for him to notice you sitting on the couch, watching them interact as quietly as a mouse.

(throughout the week it had taken him to visit his dad-- or pops, as he called him-- you'd helped time arrange, rearrange, and unpack his furniture, dishes, and other accessories.

the look twilight gives you is of well-hidden confusion. it makes you wonder how often time invited or spent time with people outside their group, or if you were an anomaly in his routine.

the initial attraction you held to him was very much still there. a small part of you hoped you were the only one he showed this level of attention to while another prayed your feelings away.)

the corner of twilight's eyes crinkle when he smiles the same way time's does and it's undeniable that they were related despite the obvious differences in their physical appearances.

several emotions cross twilight's smile despite his smile. you quickly realize he was trying to figure out how to address you and whether or not he should be a family-level of friendly or stranger-level.

"junior," time quickly steps beside his son, a firm hand on his shoulder, "this is the neighbor i was telling you about; back when i stopped by to pick up the milk."

the way time says your name after reminding twilight would've flustered you if you weren't in the presence of his son.

twilight's eyes widen in recognition. "oh, shi— oot." you laugh at the way he censors himself and he visibly relaxes. "yeah, now i remember, uh-huh."

you adjust yourself so that you were fully facing the two from over the couch, lifting yourself higher by sitting on your knees.

"it's a pleasure to meet you, junior," you say, extending an arm for him to shake. he enthusiastically does so. "your dad says you're a hoot to be around."

time turns away and his shoulders shake.

twilight's nose crinkles with a cringe.

"i don't think it's a good idea pops is friends with someone who makes jokes just as corny as him."

"i try not to make them so often, i don't know what came over me."

twilight sticks his tongue into the side of his mouth and makes a "huh," noise.

"if it makes you any better, i'll try and make sure he doesn't either."

your answer seems to please twilight and he hops onto the couch in response. he's a respectable distance away in comparison to time when he rounds the seat to sit on your other side.

it was a good-sized couch, but what space you hadn't taken was quickly filled up when the two sat down.

if you weren't so easily convinced the two were gentle giants, you'd be scared of their shared large stature.

"good to hear," he says thankfully, offering you his hand again as though you had made some sort of deal. "i get scared when no one's around to keep him in check."

time waves him off, his arm hitching itself on the back of the sofa behind your head when he lowers it. "i'm grown," and though his face screams to be taken seriously, you and twilight both know he's joking. "are you gonna join us tonight?"

"what're tonight's plans?" twilight finally forces his attention away from your (lack of) proximity. his eyes occasionally wander back before jumping up again.

"movie night," you answer, pointing to the coffee table decorated with various snacks, drinks, and the thick, leather-bound binder (that he proudly admitted to having made) filled to the brim with cds and a few orange envelopes filled with what didn't fit. "your dad heard that i know anything about this one series and insisted we watch it."

"it's a classic."

"for senior citizens, maybe."

any and all apprehension and curiosities leave twilight at your muttered comment. he reveals a sharp pair of canines when he smiles with his full-body laugh.

"right!" it sounds more like a bark when he exclaims. you wonder if time sounds the same when he gets loud. "and aren't you too old to be having movie nights? shouldn't you be cheese and wine tasting?"

"aren't you too old to go trick-or-treating every year?"

"that's wind and aryll," twilight defends just as light-heartedly as time had been. he reaches around you to flick his hand against time's chest for added effect. "y'know their grandma can't take them like she used to."

twilight's focus turns back to you when he picks up the binder full of cds. he runs his hands over the engraved cover of it with a fond look before opening it, pulling out the first movie in the series before putting the binder back and standing.

"you're gonna hate this," twilight says with a grin, squatting in front of the disc player while showing you the cd. "he made me watch these all the time as a kid. the cover of it’s even faded!"

time rolls his eyes, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. "it'd old but gold."

"oh my goddesses," you and twi groan in unison.

you're not sure at what point you fell asleep during the marathon, but you are sure twilight was the first to knock out last night and that the bed you woke up in isn't your own.

(either way, you're glad time had told you to dress comfortably when you were planning the night.)

it's hard to get out of the bed when you're surrounded by warm covers, a soft mattress, and the smell of cocoa, vanilla, cedar, and sage; but just like a week before, you somehow force yourself to.

if you were any less awake, you're sure you'd float into the kitchen like a cartoon character by the smell of breakfast.

you'd be worse off if you had seen the sight in front of the stove if you had been.

your bleary sight quickly clears when time's bare back enters your field of view. his defined muscles moved each time he stirred the contents in the pan, hand considerably dwarfing the spatula in his hand.

"are you alright?"

you're taken out of your admiring when time speaks. you hadn't seen him turn to look and there were no reflective surfaces during your blank staring, so you assume it was a skill he picked up from his time in the military, or something.

"yeah," you yawn, padding further into the kitchen and looking at the rather large amount of food piled on a plate. "just woke up."

time hums and turns just enough to finally look at you. "you look like you slept well," he says with a chuckle, looking away when you almost miss the stool beside the island counter. "i'm surprised junior's snoring didn't wake you up."

"couldn't even hear him."

as if on cue, a snore comes from where you remember is the guest bedroom. that leaves you to assume time took the pullout couch.

"well, it's good you woke up before him. he's eaten double his weight since he was a babe."

"was he one of those really fat babies?"

"his aunt had to keep making him clothes because the ones in the market never fit him— then he started outgrowing those too!”

you hide your face in your arms by laying it against the counter, ignoring the chill of it.

time had to skip over that part of twilight's life when he had shown you the pictures, saying that twilight had stolen them from him and his mother so they couldn't embarrass him, but the thought alone was enough to make you laugh.

"breakfast isn't anything special. i've never been one to cook," he adds, plating another pile of eggs onto the plate.

(getting a better look at the plate, you could now see he had separated them by regular eggs, eggs with cheese, and eggs with spinach.)

(you refuse to comment on it.)

"i can cook something else if you want?"

"this is my home and you just up. i couldn't make you do that."

you shrug your shoulders and lift your head to instead support your chin with your arms, watching him cook again. "whatever you say, sir."

there are a few moments where time refuses to say anything. leaving you to drift back to sleep. the only sound left in the apartment are the sizzling of the pan, the creaks time's knees make when he takes a step to look in the refrigerator, and the occasional snoring from twilight before he wakes you up with—

"so did you just settle on calling me sir?"

"hmm?"

"sir," time repeats, "is that what you've decided to call me?"

you tilt your head so you instead laid on your cheek, eyes finally trailing somewhere other than him. "i guess," you mutter in a half-hearted tone, knowing he'd hear you regardless of how quiet you spoke when his pointed ear twitches like a dog's. "do you want me to stop?"

(watching it and recalling your memories from the night before, you think it safe to guess that twilight got his wolf-ish qualities from time.)

"no," time is quick to respond. he pulls out what you think is a small box filled with pork bacon and turkey bacon, both separated, and opens it, laying a few pieces on the pan with a fork before putting the box down. "i like it."

"then sir it is," you respond, fluttering your eyes closed again.

"you should go back to bed if you're gonna go back to sleep."

you shake your head with a groan, refusing to look even after he leaves the bacon to cook to instead lean over you, hands laying themselves on either side of you. "i'm comfortable here, thank you though, sir."

time makes a noncommittal noise, one of his hands lifting to move a runaway piece of hair from blocking his view of your face.

"you younger generations are stubborn as hell," he says in a low voice.

"so glad you could notice that, sir."

MMMMMMMM—

Im in love with this ong— its so fucking cute and love the fact that Twi isn’t immediately like ‘eho tf is this?’ But also isn’t completely warmed up to us?? Love that /gen

Also, fact that its a movie night?? Totally cute and so fitting for Time to pick the oldest shit.

I COULDNT HELP BUT IMAGINE TIME ACTUALLY NOT BEING IN HIS FORTIES?? like okay hear me out— reader and twi ran into eachother and are just talking and somehoe Times age got brought up and readers all like ‘oh yeah, he hasn’t like told me how old he is but im assuming mid to late forties’ and Twi’s eyes just bulge out of his head and he goes to explain that he dad is actually in his 30’s—

And reader is mortified and so happy at the same time?? Happy cause they didn’t bring that up to Time and didnt completely embarrassed themselves (and also so the age gap is a smaller— not a big fan if hugeeee age gaps myself lol)

—

ALSO!! Idea!! The boys are over and chilling when they hear just a frustrated yell from outside. Wind (or whoever) goes to look and sees the neighbor struggling to fix their car! Hood is popped and their hunched over with a flash light trying to see wtf is wrong

The dad is Time goes ‘oh shit, car problems? Lets go!’ And hes quick to grab his tools before telling the boys hrll be right back!

Time helps Reader, some idol chitchat is held as Time kinda realizes they’re kinda stressed. When he asked if they gotta be anywhere, they said ‘not today but i do have plans tomorrow.’

Time is tempted to ask more but his neighbor looks stressed enough. Eventually Time finds the problem and fixes it! Estactics, reader give Time a small hug before pulling back and asking him what was the problem.

During his explanation, reader notices a few figure staring out of Times window.

Art asks if Time had anyone over and when Time turned to look where reader was looking, he noticed a few familiar shapes ducking from view. Time gives a small laugh and explains its his son and his friends.

Reader nods with a smile and thanks Time again, walking to their bag in the car and pulling out some cash. Time is quick yo deny the cash but reader is persistent.

Finally Time finally says that they can make it up to him by making that wonderful breakfast they made him the first time the two met <33

#trippy answers #anon ask #tales from the void #🐈‍⬛ anon #dilf time #trippy going feral

7 notes · View notes

the-kipsabian · 5 months ago

Text

nobody asked but im gonna elaborate on this anyways lmao

the fun thing is i wasnt even a kip fan first. i noticed penelope far before him, mostly thanks to a long gone moot who was a huge fan of hers. so i took notice when i was just starting to get into watching aew properly and kip was just kinda there in the background. i thought he was cute and funny but that was about it

and then the first hints at boxman happened on social media. i was in a bad spot myself at the time, dealing with a lot of unwanted anxiety and bullshit and something about this just hit me extremely correctly. i had just a little bit before this lost the seth and murphy storyline in the fed that i was also extremely feral about, so replacing it with something else felt really good. and here comes this fucking weirdo that im starting to get emotional attached to (at this point i believe i was watching a little bit of the streams too, i was by means not obsessed or a regular viewer, but i was getting hang on his cringe lmao) who looks great and acts like a cryptid and posts cryptic messages and it just. all fucking clicked. in the middle of all that stress and heavy anxiety i was going through, i was like. new comfort man unlocked

and then i drew art of him and he was so fucking nice about it. and hes just been so kind and supportive of me ever since which. obviously is a huge deal to me. like this man doesnt know me, to him im just a silly lil fan, but he never talked down to me or anything like. yeah. and then the support continued through my mess of a life in such small silly ways and idk. things just kinda happened and the fact that he had helped me through so much by just doing this character and being nice that the tattoo happened. which i think was the beginning of the end really lmao (i mean that in the sense that hes never gonna get rid of me now. we are bonded till the end lmao)

when i got to meet him (and i learned this the same day i got the tattoo done, which. yeah fate lmao) he was super nice. extremely humbled. kindest motherfucker ive ever seen and i met ethan page that same day LMAO. he was so polite and patient with me and literally asked what he could do for me in return for me coming all the way over to show him my tattoo (he signed me extra photos for free. cause hes the best ;;) and he also let me hang in my anxious exhausted state by their desk while my babe did her rounds for some leftover meet and greet stuff (since kip and penny were my last ones in that con, for obvious freak out reasons lmao. i already walked away from their table once when i saw him in the distance cause i freaked out) OH AND ALSO he already at that point dealt with so much of my shit cause this is where one of my favorite all time moments come from when i walked up to their table and straight up asked him if he knew who *i* was LMAO

and uh yeah. then i get home a few days later and miss a stream but watch it back later in my layover airport at 7am and cry cause he says how humbled he was. like NO BITCH HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL. but anyways

after that he literally just. actually it was during then im pretty sure he remembered my name cause he signed things for me with my name without asking for it and um. yeah. sorry to say im a special part of kip sabian canon lmao. he keeps bringing the tattoo up in interviews still. like boy its been two years. please i say, knowing i look at it at least every few days thinking how fucking lucky i got it. even if i would actually mean nothing to him. i got these brief moments when it meant everything

theres also times he just tolerates so much of my shit. like i feel like im a constant pain in his ass lmao but also he encourages it with positive reinforcement so like. idiot supporting idiot as i like to call it. we both know we are coming from a good place with these things lmao. and yeah he has noticed my twitter agenda/s of trying to show him love and support with daily posts. hes also personally reached out before to apologize for misgendering me while he talked about stuff in a podcast episode. he has stood up against someone misgendering me when he was tagged in that post (it was about those halloween photos of last year, which he also really liked). and i would probably have so many other examples too why he is so goddamn important to me

he just makes me happy, you know? and im sure i would be doing this even if he didnt know i existed, but him being such a good, supportive and nice human being back to me definitely helps. cause it deepens that love i have for him. i know its very easy to get caught on to just what we see in character, but this goes so much deeper for me tbh

and before anyone who might read this tells me i have a parasocial relationship here. maybe. but i dont see it that way. i know we arent even friends lmao, this man has a wife he loves more than anything in this world, im just a mere humble fan who likes showing him love and appreciation and he thanks me by being very kind back to me. thats all there is. yes im very awfully ill about him at times lmao, but i know where to draw a line. sorry to disappoint anyone wanting to yell at me lmao

SHIT I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH ON THE PHRASES GODDAMN like okay it was just part of me dealing with depression and anxiety at the time, but still like "embrace the change" and "time doesnt heal it changes you" especially (as that was something my old therapist who really helped me move forward in my life also told me so i clung onto it really fucking hard honestly) gave me some kind of hope and a comfort character to attach that hope to. so that was a big reason why the boxman was/is so important to me in particular; he came into my life at a really difficult time, me later ofc realizing we both really struggled at that time so theres also that connection, but he helped me through so much of it by giving me hope and a thing to latch onto to keep me sane through a really difficult patch of my life. so like.. yeah theres also that 💜

..did i ever even tell you how/why i got progressively more obsessive about kip sabian cause i just think its kinda funny actually

#oh god i didnt mean to ramble THIS much sorry i just needed to get so many emotions out #im sure theres a lot i missed but. thats at least some of it why i hold him in such high regard close to my heart #he just never fails to make me feel better. he was there when i needed it and it just grew ten fold from there #just. yeah. if you didnt know now you know #box thoughts

6 notes · View notes

suhtorus · 4 years ago

Text

𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 — olympic team / fem reader

[ atsumu, sakusa, suna, kageyama, gao, bokuto, hinata, iwaizumi, oikawa ]

the stress of the first match seems to be taking a toll on the team's spirit, and you refuse to sit and watch them fail when you know you can be of help. but can you really handle all of them?

(or, where you end up having a gang bang with 8 professional volleyball players, and 1 athletic trainer)

⥅ word c. 7,928

⥅ warnings. sub reader, gang bang, foursomes, voyeurism?, fellatio, cum play, vaginal penetration, anal, unprotected sex, creampie, facial, size + stomach bulging kink, praise kink, mild degradation, double penetration, pussy job (for like, one second), double vaginal penetration, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, someone passes out, aftercare

⥅author n. brought to u thanks to this tweet + @kmorgzz who suggested adding iwaoi to the mix

special mention to my wife and love of my life, runa. @tsumue u had me laughing at 4am as i read ur comments in the google doc. i don't know what i'd do without u, tysm for beta and putting up with me for the past week ♡

ps. im v sorry if ur fave didn't make the cut (╥_╥) i added the ones im more familiar with, in terms of writing

if someone had told you you’d be attending the olympic games not as a spectator but as part of japan’s team, you’d have never believed them. but here you are, sitting in the same room with the most skilled players in the country as none other than their personal assistant.

“iwaizumi-san! do you think kageyama and i could pull off a quick attack right at the beginning of the set?”

“shoyo-kun, if there’s someone you’ll be doing the quick attack with it’s me,” atsumu’s eyes land on kageyama, smirking at the other setter from across the room, “right, tobio-kun?”

“you’re a disgrace.”

sakusa’s statement earns an offended scoff from the blond setter, the rest of the team rolling their eyes and sighing at the all-too-familiar scene.

“oi! we don’t have time for petty fights!”

after iwaizumi gets everyone’s attention back on him, he barely finishes explaining tomorrow’s match opponents and their plays without losing the team’s attention. he might be there to train them and make sure they’re on top of their game, but he knows when the team is lacking morale and, sadly, today’s one of those days.

the meeting is over and all of you go to the dining hall, fetching your dinner and sitting on your respective table with you right next to iwaizumi.

since you took that part-time job at the msby jackals, you quickly caught onto their small tics and tell-tale signs when something isn’t right. atsumu becomes a complete asshole which makes sakusa lose his temper sooner than usual. meanwhile, bokuto and hinata become very fidgety, often causing a bit of chaos around them as clumsiness radiates off of them.

when the national team was announced, you were offered the job as the trainer’s assistant—all thanks to the jackals who recommended you to their superiors for said position. your pay-check might say you’re just iwaizumi’s assistant, but you’re basically there to cover the needs of the entire team—all of them.

“iwa-chan!”

your head snaps to the side as a good-looking man takes the last free seat next to iwaizumi.

“aren’t you supposed to be sitting with your team?” iwaizumi asks him, taking a bite of his food while waiting for an answer.

the unknown man huffs exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes as he too starts to eat, “thought you’d miss your best friend.”

“hanamaki isn’t here.”

the stranger opens his mouth to reply, clearly offended by iwizumi’s words, when he notices you peeping at him.

“oh? hi! i think we haven’t met,” he shoots you a charming smile, bringing out his remarkably handsome features, “oikawa tooru, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduce yourself, bowing at him and focusing back on your food.

both friends start to discuss tomorrow’s events, which inevitably brings out iwaizumi’s concern for his players.

“they seem off,” he’s playing around with the food as he stares at the players sitting in the table in front of yours, “i don’t know if i should talk to them or let them be.”

he’s clearly concerned for them, you can see it in his eyes—the doubt, wondering if he has been doing a good job with the team.

“iwaizumi-san, i-i… perhaps i could aid them this time?”

his head snaps in your direction, a mix of surprise and worry taking over his face, “no way, that’d be too much for you.”

oikawa’s eyebrows scrunch up as he observes you two but says nothing, choosing to listen attentively at you trying to convince iwaizumi while the latter sighs and reminds you that it’s not just the jackals this time.

it takes a while for iwaizumi to accept your offer, pondering the pros and cons, but he ends up accepting it; for everyone’s sakes.

“i’m lost.”

oikawa’s words make your insides flare-up, looking down at your hands in order to avoid looking at him, his curious eyes switching between his best friend and you.

iwaizumi ignores him, standing up from his seat and walking to the table in front of you with you and oikawa watching closely. the team turns to look at him, waiting for him to speak since it’s obvious it has to be something important by the severe look on his face.

“seeing as some of you are clearly out of it, our assistant here has very kindly volunteered to help you guys for tonight.”

a few heads immediately perk up, looking at you with bright eyes once you answer their silent question with a smile.

“please, be good to her. i’ll be there supervising anyways, so don’t think of trying anything funny.”

“oikawa-san! you’re coming with us, right?” hinata looks expectantly at said male, excitement clear in the redhead’s eyes, “she’s the best!”

both iwaizumi and you freeze on the spot, gauging oikawa’s reaction who only looks more confused.

“you’re welcome to join us, if you so desire,” it’s you who’s offering it this time, surprising iwaizumi and earning a worried glance from him.

oikawa can’t deny he’s dying to know what everyone’s so excited about, and after thinking about it for a few more seconds, he has made up his mind.

“shall we go, then?”

—

“alright, ground rules.”

just a handful of the team sits in the room, the ones who know what’s happening waiting eagerly for the green light while the rest wonders what the fuss is about. as much as you want to help them all, it’d be impossible; which is why iwaizumi picked the ones he thought needed the morale boost the most.

with a nod in your direction, he lets you know you’re free to speak.

“the jackals already know this,” you say and atsumu snickers from his seat, winking at you as hinata and bokuto nod excitedly, “but i’m not too strict about the entire thing.”

you can feel the pairs of curious eyes burning holes in you—trying to decipher what’s going on. so, after taking a deep breath and getting an awkward, encouraging smile from iwaizumi, you start voicing out the rules.

“please, be patient. there are so many of you and only one of me. i promise you’ll get your turn,” you give atsumu a pointed look, and this time it's sakusa who snorts while the blond setter rolls his eyes, “which brings me to the next rule, no seconds.”

a hand raises in the air, making you advert your attention to its owner.

“i still don’t get what’s happening,” suna’s eyes narrow down at you, noticing the embarrassment and hesitation in your posture.

“don’t worry, suna. we’ll show ya.”

“shut it, miya.”

clearing up your throat, you smile coyly at the middle blocker, “it’ll make sense once i finish explaining, suna-san.”

he shrugs but stays quiet. taking into account the jackals’ reactions plus the cryptic rules, an idea has already formed in his mind. but it couldn’t be that. right?

“uh, again, only one round. all entrances are fine,” you pause, going through the rules in your head to see if there’s anything you might be forgetting, “oh! and you’ll be paired up in teams of three to make things faster.”

“one more thing,” iwaizumi speaks up, this time looking at you instead of the awaiting men, “don’t forget to let us know how you’re doing.”

two loud claps break the tense atmosphere, “well, we should get started then,” atsumu raises from his spot and walks towards you. his hands cradle your face between them and lift it so you can face him properly, “what do ya say, princess?”

his lips land on yours before you can reply to him, a small squeal getting stuck in your throat when his hands travel down your body until he’s squeezing your ass.

you’re too caught up in the kiss to notice the new presence looming behind you.

“i’ll take your pussy before anyone can taint it with their dick.”

sakusa’s words make you shudder. you break apart from atsumu’s mouth to turn around and face him, his dark eyes alluring and drawing you towards him.

“oi, newbie,” atsumu calls out to suna who scoffs in return, “c’mere and join us.”

meanwhile, sakusa guides you to the bed, making you sit on his lap as you wait for the other two to show up. once they do, atsumu immediately settles behind you while suna stands awkwardly at the foot of the bed. it’s hard for you to read his expression since you’re not too familiar with him, so you offer him a reassuring smile and pat the spot next to you.

the rest of the team watches from their seats as the four of you get started.

suna lifts your chin, his eyes staring down at you before leaning down and kissing the corner of your mouth. he trails down your neck until he reaches your chest, sucking on the skin gently before running his tongue over the delicate area. in the meantime, atsumu unbuttons your blouse, taking it off and playing with your breasts while sakusa busies himself with taking your pants off.

“i get the hype, now,” suna whispers in your ear, blowing air on it and then biting down on your earlobe, making the hairs of your body rise.

his lips capture yours in a slow kiss —savoring your taste— and one of his hands goes to the back of your neck to keep you in place. his teeth play with your bottom lip, biting it softly and pulling away, his hooded eyes calculating your reaction.

“don’t get too excited, suna,” atsumu says from his spot behind you, pinching your nipples between his fingers and prompting a whine to escape your lips, “you’ll only get her mouth.”

“mhm, is that so?” suna’s question is directed towards you rather than atsumu, tilting your chin up and smirking at the dazed look in your eyes, “can’t wait to see that pretty mouth bulging with my cock, then.”

his lewd words earn a few coughs and clearing throats from the rest, which he chooses to ignore when your hand cups his growing bulge.

“enough you two, let the poor woman have a bit of pleasure too,” sakusa’s dark eyes look at you questioningly, silently asking if you’re ready to continue.

in return, you cup his face with your free hand and kiss his cheek—knowing he wouldn’t appreciate a kiss on the mouth when you just finished making out with another man.

they finish getting you out of your clothes until your bare cunt is hovering over sakusa’s lap. he’s quick to undress and ease his cock into you, suna and atsumu observing as they get rid of their clothes as well.

“fuck,” sakusa groans in your ear, the position allowing you to hide your face in his neck and wrap your arms around his shoulders, “always so tight.”

“scoot over, i need to prep her ass.”

suna snorts at atsumu’s words, pumping his cock twice before kneeling on the mattress—right next to you. he pats your cheek with the swollen head, looking down at you with a faint smirk.

“open up.”

your eyes immediately focus on his length, your mouth watering at the sight. you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, looking up at him and observing as he rests the tip on your tongue.

“looking so pretty with a cock in your mouth,” he slowly slides in, guiding your head down until half of him is inside, “so warm.”

a cold liquid dribbles on your backside, making you flinch forward and causing suna’s cock to slide in even more.

“relax, baby. it’s just me,” atsumu rubs the liquid on your asshole, playing with it with his finger before finally sliding it in.

your muscles contract involuntarily, making sakusa groan as he keeps still inside your pussy, waiting for you to grow used to the multiple things going on around you.

“hurry up before i start fucking her.”

a second finger slides in and you moan around suna’s cock, spit running at the corners of your mouth which reminds you to swallow. you hollow your cheeks and retract your mouth until only the tip remains inside, running your tongue over the slit and making the middle blocker shudder.

“someone’s hungry,” he muses.

you hum around him, bobbing your head back and forth and pumping the rest of his length with one hand.

“i’m gonna try get in now, okay?” atsumu taps your ass with his cock, lining it up with your asshole and thrusting in. he watches as the head of his cock finally slips in, groaning when the familiar tightness engulfs him, “that’s it, baby. doin’ so good for me.”

you have to remove your mouth from suna’s cock to avoid biting down on him, the stretch slightly more painful than pleasurable which eventually leads to you tensing up even more.

“you gotta relax,” atsumu says under his breath, strained by the way you feel around his dick.

it takes you around a minute to calm down, taking deep breaths until you feel yourself loosen up and, with one last push, he’s finally inside.

“omi?” you say against his neck, “could you move a bit, please?”

said man grunts as he starts to move his hips, your slick helping his cock glide in, “color.”

it takes you a few seconds to understand what he meant.

“oh! uhh, green.”

atsumu’s thrusts are slow —testing the waters— since the last thing he wants is to get yelled at for being too rough, too soon. but you’re growing impatient, moving your hips backwards and trying to get more of him inside of you.

“m-more, ‘tsumu. i can take it,” you say and he immediately complies, his muscular thighs now slapping against your ass.

suna remains kneeling next to you, cock in his hand as he waits for you to bring your attention back to him. but he doesn’t have to wait too long, your hand wrapping around his cock and guiding it back into your mouth once you’ve set a steady pace with the other two men.

“thought you had forgotten about me.”

he pushes your hair out of your face, watching your lips wrap around his girth. it’s taking all of his willpower to not hold your head and fuck your face until you’re gagging around him, afraid it might be a big ‘no’ from you. and since it’s the first time he’s getting to experience this, he decides to take whatever’s given to him.

“you’re so wet,” sakusa points out as he looks down at where you two are connected, observing his cock slide in and out of your cunt, covered with your slick.

“‘course she is, she’s being stuffed by three cocks.”

“feels good…” your manage to say after releasing suna with a pop, pumping his shaft with your hand, “a-am i making you feel better?”

a hand lands on your ass, causing you to yelp and tighten your hold on suna’s cock.

“what do ya think, hm? we’re getting our dicks wet in none other but our slutty little assistant's holes,” atsumu plays with your ass, squeezing it and humming when the imprint of his hands appears on the soft flesh.

“mhm, quite the slut you are,” sakusa whispers in your ear, kissing your neck afterwards, “as long as i get to make a mess out of that cunt of yours before anyone else, i will always enjoy these little sessions of ours.”

your eyes land on suna, waiting for him to say his thoughts on the matter.

his gaze drops to your hand, covered in his pre-cum and your spit which sends a jolt to his cock, making it throb in your hand.

“can’t say i hate it.”

you smile at his words, recognizing the challenge hidden behind them. your mouth wraps around the flushed tip, eyes closing when both sakusa and atsumu thrust up into your holes at the same time. you try to keep your hand steady as you suck suna off, but the lewd grunts and moans coming from them, plus their cocks filling you so nicely make your rhythm falter every once in a while.

a hand starts toying with your clit, causing you to moan around suna’s cock. the vibrations make him shudder, scowling at himself when he realizes his orgasm is approaching faster than he expected.

“fuck, fuck– princess? do you mind if i cum inside?” atsumu grunts.

your muscles clench at the thought of being filled with his cum, imagining the thick liquid oozing out of your sensitive holes only to stuff it back in with your fingers.

“y-yes, ‘tsumu. cum inside me,” you pant as your hands squeeze suna’s cock, pumping it faster as you notice his hips jerking towards you. you turn your face to look at sakusa, who has his eyebrows drawn upwards and his mouth open slightly as he too feels overwhelmed by the pleasure, “omi, you can cum inside as well.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice, his large hands holding you by your hips so he can thrust his cock into your drenched cunt faster.

moans and squelching noises echo around the room. atsumu picks up his pace as he feels his orgasm approaching, his deep grunts fanning over your neck and taking over your hearing. the drag of sakusa’s pubic bone against your clit has you cumming shortly after. your head rolls forward as both men keep thrusting in and out of you, only stopping once their cum fill your clenching holes.

“shit– look at me,” suna orders you, and you barely have time to process what’s happening.

his cum lands on your face, his hand helping you pump his throbbing cock as the ropes of cum cover your skin. he exhales heavily once he’s done, brushing the flushed head of his cock over your swollen lips, and smearing the white liquid around them.

it’s silent for a few seconds, save for the heavy breathing and pants coming from your mouths.

“holy shit,” oikawa’s voice breaks the silence. his cock strains almost painfully against his pants at the sight of what awaits him.

“yeah, holy shit,” atsumu laughs off, brushing his hair out of his face with one hand as he massages the flesh of your ass with the other, “ya never disappoint, princess.”

with a grunt, the blond setter removes his softening cock from you, his honey eyes —plus a few curious ones— observing the way his cum dribbles out from your stretched hole. the same thing happens with sakusa, who lifts your hips off of him, his cock falling on his stomach and the mix of your slick and his cum dripping down on his length.

atsumu’s fingers immediately go to your cunt, pumping the juices back into you, “god, you love this. don’t you, baby?”

all you can do is whine, your hands clenching the sheets until he removes his fingers from your sensitive pussy, and stuffs them inside your mouth.

“we all get a turn?” kageyama whispers not so discreetly to hinata, who only nods eagerly in return.

you lick atsumu’s fingers clean which earns you a radiant smile from him.

“here.”

suna has his arm outstretched, handing you a tissue so you can clean your face.

“thank you,” you take it from his hands as you climb off of sakusa’s lap.

you’re cleaning the residues of cum on your face when a hand falls on top of your head.

“drink some water before you start the next round,” sakusa’s dark eyes suddenly seem warmer and kinder to you, patting your head before disappearing into the bathroom.

after tossing the used tissue away, you turn to iwaizumi and give him a firm nod.

“who’s next?”

your dazzling smile has the rest of the men in awe, silently praying it’s them who get to feel your body with their hands next.

“bokuto,” the wing spiker’s immediately perks up at the sound of his name, “you, kageyama, and hakuba are next.”

the three men raise from their seats and make their way towards the bed—towards you.

“hey, bo,” you offer a loving smile to him, “you ready?”

his strong arms wrap around you, kissing your cheek loudly and making you giggle, “it feels as if i’ve been waiting forever. of course, i’m ready!”

meanwhile, kageyama and gao stand at the foot of the bed, waiting for any instructions or a signal from you that could tell them when to start. luckily, you’re quick to notice their hesitation.

”is there a particular place where you want to be?” you ask them, looking specifically at kageyama and gao, since you want to make sure they feel included.

“dibs on your mouth!”

you blush at bokuto’s enthusiasm but accept his request, stroking his cheek as you wait for the other two to answer.

“i’ll take whatever,” kageyama says and scratches the back of his neck.

“me too,” gao smiles and takes a few steps towards you, making bokuto move away from you. his large hand tucks one piece of your hair away, his eyes staring at yours before dropping to your lips, “although, i think i’d like it better if i had your pussy gripping my cock. wouldn’t you like that?”

he presses his front against yours, his erection poking at your belly which earns a small gasp from you. you have to stop yourself from taking a look at the tent in his sweatpants, trying to figure out how much of him there is hidden inside the fabric.

“o-okay.”

the middle blocker smiles at you before diving down to your lips. his hands grab your waist, lifting you up from the ground and making you wrap your legs around his torso. he gently places you down on the bed and kisses his way down your neck until his mouth is right above your erect nipple.

“hey! i want to kiss her too,” bokuto complains, “you can’t hog her like that.”

“s’okay bo, come here.”

he doesn’t have to be told twice, immediately climbing onto the bed and leaning down to kiss your lips.

you grab the back of his head and run your fingers through his soft hair, pulling on it gently which causes a groan to rumble in his chest.

a pair of hands slide over your legs, pushing them apart until your bare cunt is spread wide open for everyone to see.

“you’re dripping, babe,” gao murmurs over your nipple, giving it a light tug before flicking his tongue over it, “do you want my cock that badly?”

you can only moan and nod, your lips still busy with bokuto’s.

but there’s someone who still has yet to join you.

“tobio-chan, if you’re not going to do anything then let me take your place instead.”

oikawa’s words snap you out of your daze. you pat bokuto’s cheek signaling him to let go of you, and the same thing happens with gao as you try to sit up. your eyes fall on kageyama who stands at the same spot with a conflicted look and an obvious erection in his pants.

“hey,” you crawl your way towards him and sit on your knees, “are you uncomfortable?”

his mouth opens but nothing comes out of it. he can feel the weight of everyone’s stare on him, making him look away from you.

a few seconds pass and there’s still no answer.

“you don’t have to do this, you know?” you say in a small tone, slightly confused as to why he’s rejecting you, “i just thought… i could help you relax.”

he nods, still avoiding your gaze.

you take a look at iwaizumi –who looks as equally as puzzled as you– before looking back at the setter.

“do you want to leave?”

at this, his head finally snaps towards you, “no, i-” he pauses. his eyes are immediately drawn to your mouth, making him involuntarily wet his lips, “i want to stay.”

relief washes over you, a timid smile spreading on your lips which is quickly mirrored by him. you take his hand in yours and guide him to the other side of the bed, urging him to join the rest of you. there’s a hunger in his eyes that has your pussy dripping with your slick, a sigh leaving your lips when your back hits the pillows as you watch him take gao’s previous spot.

“kiss me, tobio.”

and he does. it starts slow, hesitant, but it soon turns desperate. his tongue strokes yours before sucking on it, spit coating your lips thanks to the messiness of the kiss. the strain of his cock inside his pants becomes too uncomfortable to his liking, causing him to start humping against you, trying to relieve himself.

noticing his predicament, you move your hand between your bodies and palm his hard-on. he groans against your lips, his hips jerking forward seeking more of your touch.

in the meantime, both bokuto and gao pump their cocks with their hands, having taken their clothes off while you talked to kageyama.

gao squeezes the head of his cock between his hands, pre-cum oozing from the slit as he imagines the way your cunt is going to grip him, “babe, you’re making us suffer.”

“get in line!”

“atsumu, shut the fuck up.”

“baby?” bokuto asks from where he stands, his own cock stiff and ready to be inside your mouth, “we don’t mean to be pushy, but do you think you could get to us soon?”

“bokuto-san, you’re going to break a rule!” hinata says, clearly concerned for his teammate, “be patient, remember?”

the rest of the team laughs and you can’t help but join them.

at this, bokuto pouts playfully at you, “you’re just teasing me, baby.”

“then come here,” you gasp when kageyama’s mouth sucks at the base of your neck, “y-you wanted my mouth, right?”

bokuto kneels next to your face, patting the leaking tip on your lips.

“i’m going to fuck that pretty mouth of yours and you’re going to take it like a good girl,” he says, his tone leaving no room for questions, “open.”

you comply immediately, lolling out your tongue and waiting for him to rest his heavy cock on top of it.

the lewd sight in front of him makes bokuto shudder. his hands grasp your head, pushing you down his length until he feels your throat constricting around him.

“fuck– baby,” he grunts and gives a shallow thrust, “i know you can do better than that.”

you try to relax your jaw so you can fit more of him inside of your mouth. but as you are about to graze your nose against his pubic bone, a finger runs between your folds causing you to flinch.

“i’m still here.”

gao’s tone sounds stern, even if a playful smile tugs his lips upwards, you can see the seriousness swirling in his eyes.

kageyama sighs and leaves your side, stepping away momentarily to take his pants off.

the middle blocker takes it as his chance to settle between your legs as bokuto keeps your mouth busy.

“you’re drenched, sweetheart,” he muses, running his digits over your slit, “don’t worry, i’ll fill this pussy with my cock so well that you’ll be cumming in no time.”

your eyes travel to his shaft, watching as he pumps it twice before running it between your folds. your brows furrow when you notice how heavy it feels, making you wonder if it will fit in.

he lines himself up with your hole, pushing the head inside which is enough to have you whining around bokuto’s cock.

“you look so sexy,” bokuto groans, pushing your head away from him and watching your spit run down your mouth. he looks at kageyama who stands awkwardly with his cock in hand, “i guess we’re sharing her mouth.”

the setter’s eyes widen slightly before nodding, mimicking bokuto’s position and nudging his cock on your lips, “suck.”

your breath hitches at his order, caught off guard by his demanding tone. you grab his cock from the base and guide it into your mouth, pumping bokuto’s length with your other hand. you hum around kageyama, running your tongue over the head of his cock before hollowing your cheeks and sucking harshly on it.

but your attention on them doesn’t last too long, the sudden feel of your pussy getting split open by gao’s cock taking it away.

“so tight,” he grunts, one of his hands running over the skin of your inner thigh until he reaches your soaking cunt. he pulls your folds apart, watching you struggle to take his cock inside you—no matter how wet you are, “i bet those jackals haven’t been fucking you like you deserve.”

“oi!” “not true!”

you free your mouth from kageyama and use both hands to pump his and bokuto’s cock, “s-so big, ugh-”

gao pushes more of him in, half of his cock already inserted in you. but he’s just so thick, so big, that you can’t help but clamp down your walls around him. his thumb starts rubbing circles on your clit, trying to relax your walls, as his other hand settles on your abdomen.

“you’re going to be so full of my cock that you’ll be able to see it,” he gives a gentle pat to your belly, “right here.”

your grip on the other two men tightens as gao finally bottoms out, a whine breaking through your lips at the stretch.

“if only you could see yourself,” his thrusts are lazy, mesmerized by the way your belly bulges when he pushes his cock inside you, “so fucking sexy with my fat cock inside your cunt.”

your lips wrap around the tip of bokuto’s cock once more, closing your eyes as pleasure clouds your head. he thrusts in, hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.

“good girl,” bokuto exhales, “taking my cock so well.”

you quicken the pace of your other hand, looking at kageyama as you obscenely suck bokuto.

the setter’s eyes refuse to leave yours, “who would’ve thought our assistant could be so naughty.”

“as if you’re complaining,” gao says, lifting your leg over his shoulder. the new angle allowing him to press his hips closer to yours.

“i never said i was.”

bokuto curses under his breath when you start sucking his balls, pumping the rest of his length with your hand and squeezing the head of kageyama’s cock with the other.

“you’re going to make me cum,” bokuto groans.

giggling, you lick your way up and run your tongue over the slit, “cum in my mouth.”

the sound of collective groans echoes in the room, a fair amount of players finding your words arousing.

“what a slut, let’s see if you keep talking when you’re covered in our cum.”

gao’s threat goes straight to your pussy, making you cream around his girth. the pace of his thumb on your clit quickens once he notices your walls spasming around him.

“ngh, fuck!” you’re breathing heavily by now, barely managing to keep the pace of your hands consistent, “i-i’m gonna… i’m gonna cum.”

“let go, baby.”

one of gao’s hands travels up your body until he’s pinching your nipple between his fingers.

“shit, shit, shit,” you’re thrashing underneath him, your cunt fluttering around his cock thanks to your orgasm.

kageyama’s way too focused on the way your face contorts in pleasure to notice how his hips have started to jerk faster. that is until the familiar coil suddenly snaps and his cum lands on your chin and part of your chest.

“h-how did you get even tighter- hah!”

warm spurts of cum fill your cunt, the sense of fullness intensifying as gao frees his load inside of you.

“i’m cumming, baby. fuck, fuck–” bokuto chants your name as he too reaches his orgasm, quickly shoving his cock into your mouth and releasing his thick cum inside of it.

you make sure to keep sucking him, milking his cock dry. once you remove your mouth from him, you bring his and kageyama’s cock closer to your face and pucker your lips, letting the mix of cum and spit fall on their cocks before giving a few kitten licks to the flushed heads.

gao starts to remove his cock from your insides, cursing at the state of your pussy once he’s finally out.

“holy fuck, she’s tightening around nothing.”

you let out a low moan when his fingers spread your lower lips, “t-too sensitive.”

“i think that’s enough,” iwaizumi intervenes, pushing him away, “color?”

“yellow,” but you continue as soon as you see his face become stern, “relax, i just need to calm down a bit.”

kageyama offers you a towel before awkwardly thanking you for your help. and after receiving a kiss on the forehead from bokuto, the three of them leave to go clean themselves.

“iwa-chan, why don’t you give her a massage?”

you let your body fall on the mattress, extending your arms above your head and moaning at the stretch.

“mm, that’d be nice.”

iwaizumi rolls his eyes playfully when he sees you pouting at him, “get on your stomach, i’ll be right back.”

in the meantime, oikawa and hinata take the spots next to you, eager to finally have their turn with you.

“you’re so pretty,” oikawa runs his hands over the skin of your shoulders, “those idiots are lucky to have you.”

your eyes start closing up, focusing on the feel of his fingers on your skin and making goosebumps appear all over your body.

“shoyo, we should help her relax too. don’t you think?”

you catch the suggestive tone in his voice, but his touch feels so good that you choose to ignore it.

both men start caressing your body, hinata’s hands paying special attention to your shoulders while oikawa pets your hair, murmuring sweet nothings.

“you ready?” iwaizumi pops back into the room, a bottle of oil and a clean towel in his hands.

“mhm.”

the towel rests on your ass, iwaizumi’s warm hands spreading the oil on your back and rubbing at the sore muscles.

“does that feel good, princess?” oikawa asks when he hears you sigh. you are about to reply when iwaizumi hits a sore spot, a groan slipping past your lips and making the setter chuckle, “can you tell me your color now?”

“green.”

oikawa looks at iwaizumi and both men seem to communicate through their eyes, the latter smirking before going back to work.

at first, you don’t pay too much attention to his movements, choosing to focus on the pleasure. but then you notice how his hands seem to ghost lower and lower until he’s kneading your ass, the towel long forgotten.

before you can comment on it, he moves them to your thighs, massaging the soft flesh. it all goes back to normal –or so you think– until his hands reach higher and his digits start grazing your slit.

“hajime…”

“shh,” oikawa coos in your ear, pushing your hair out of your face and kissing your temple, “let him take care of you.”

iwaizumi inserts one finger inside your pussy, curling it until he’s teasing the spongy walls.

whines escape your mouth, your hands gripping the bedsheets which are quickly replaced by hinata’s hands.

“so cute.”

another finger slips in and makes you open your eyes, looking at oikawa helplessly, “o-oikawa-san-”

“tooru,” he interrupts you.

“tooru,” you try his name and he hums, letting you know he’s listening, “could you… uh, k-kiss me?”

“of course, princess.”

he leans down to capture your lips, swallowing your moans when iwaizumi curls both fingers and massages your spot.

you open your legs, allowing iwaizumi to finger you better as you rut your hips on the mattress, rubbing your clit against the fabric of the sheets and chasing after your orgasm.

“iwa– faster, please.”

he complies immediately, causing wetness to gush out of your cunt and making the distinctive squelching sounds fill the room.

“i’m gonna– ah! i’m c-cumming!”

“cum for me,” he encourages you, and that’s all you need.

you gush around his fingers, your slick coating them as you squirm under the gaze of the three men.

hinata tugs at your hand, pulling you underneath him and kissing you sloppily. you gasp on his mouth, caught off guard by the sudden movement but quickly melting into the kiss.

he blushes once he pulls away, “s-sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“it’s okay, shoyo,” you breathe out, caressing his cheek, “want me to help you?”

he beams at your offer, nodding eagerly as he watches you climb on top of him. you straddle his hips and run your cunt over his cock, shivering when his length grazes your clit.

“do you want me to ride you?” you whisper, playing with his hair.

“wait- i think i have a better idea.”

hinata lifts you from his lap and moves until he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress. he pushes your hips with his hands, turning you around so you’re facing away from him.

“you can sit on my lap now.”

your ass rests right on top of his cock, but he hooks his arms on your knees, spreading you open, as he lets himself fall back on the mattress.

“what are you–”

“oikawa-san, doesn’t this remind you of something?”

said man laughs, “how could i forget? we had quite some fun back in brazil, huh?”

you’re visibly confused, looking at oikawa with furrowed brows, “what do you want to do?”

“say, princess,” his tone suddenly sounds too sweet for your liking, “have you ever had two cocks in one hole?”

your eyes widen, looking back and forth between oikawa and iwaizumi—who has ridden himself of his clothes and sits next to you, his thick cock in his hand.

“i’ll take that as a no.”

“can we do that?” hinata asks from behind you, his breath fanning on your ear, “we’ll be gentle.”

“there’s literally another free hole for you to use!” someone yells, clearly annoyed they didn’t get the chance to do it.

oikawa clicks his tongue, “where’s the fun in that?”

after taking a minute to think it through, you agree to their offer, “okay… uh- iwa?” you turn to look at him, “what about you?”

seeing as there’s no room for him to take your ass, his eyes land on your mouth. and with two taps of his finger on your cheek, he lets you know his decision.

“think you can suck me off?”

they’re all given the green light when you answer his question. hinata raises you from his lap, aligning his cock with your entrance before letting your weight fall on top of it. you groan at the familiar thickness stretching you nicely, missing the flash of hunger in the setter’s eyes.

“my turn.”

oikawa presses the tip on your entrance, pushing forward and making room for his own cock.

the burn of having two cocks in one hole is new to you, but it’s surprisingly more pleasurable than you thought it’d be. you lift your eyes to look at oikawa, his gaze already locked on you, and you feel your pussy cream around their cocks at the lust in his eyes.

“enjoying yourself, princess?”

you moan when he bottoms out, watching the muscles of his abdomen contract and feeling his cock pulsing inside of you.

the thrill of being stretched by two cocks, at the same time, has your head spinning; your thoughts becoming lewd as you picture both men cumming inside you and globs of cum dripping from your abused hole.

“oikawa-san, did you feel that?” hinata asks. half-amused, half excited, “she’s squeezing us so well.”

“naughty, princess,” the setter grunts, “don’t forget about iwa-chan.”

you turn your head to face him, catching the irritated look he sends oikawa before looking down at you.

iwaizumi’s eyes immediately soften, but a smirk slowly tugs at the corners of his lips, “you seem busy.”

“there’s always room for japan’s national team athletic trainer.”

he can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the silly title. he raises from his seat and settles himself above you, his cock hovering on your face and making your mouth water.

“whenever you’re ready.”

you don’t need to be told twice. grasping his thick cock with your hand, you lean forward and flick your tongue on the head, looking at him through your lashes with faux innocence.

“start moving,” iwaizumi hisses, the words directed at the other two men, “seems like she needs a little reminder of who’s in charge right now.”

oikawa and hinata look at each other with smirks on their lips. as hinata said earlier, they’ve been in this position before, so there’s no need for words between them since they both know what’s coming next.

hinata moves his head slightly to the side, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder and, at the same time, granting him the view of your cunt being filled with their cocks.

“look at her, oikawa-san” his eyes are locked on your pussy, captivated by the way you suck them in, “she looks so pretty with two cocks splitting her open.”

hinata’s lewd words prompt you to involuntarily moan, the vibrations landing on iwaizumi’s cock.

“hmm, you like it when you’re reduced to nothing but a slut. don’t you?”

you blink up at iwaizumi as you keep bobbing your head up and down his shaft, opting to hum to let him know you’re not ignoring him.

but his words catch someone else’s attention.

“is that true?” oikawa asks, amusement clear in his voice, “you like being reminded you’re a whore? how much of a greedy slut you are by fucking an entire volleyball team?”

you’re speechless, his words –matched with his and hinata’s harsh thrusts– causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“answer me.”

oikawa’s hand wraps around your throat, barely applying any pleasure but it’s enough to send your mind into a frenzy.

after releasing iwaizumi’s cock from your mouth, you take a second to swallow down your spit before answering him.

“y-yes, tooru. i like being treated like a slut.”

his eyes sparkle with mischief, pleased by your words.

“good, because that’s how you’re going to be treated from now on.”

a hand travels to your throbbing clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub.

“s-shoyo!”

“shh, it’ll make you feel good.”

something wet slaps against your cheek, “don’t get distracted.”

you nod and go back to sucking iwaizumi off, moaning every time hinata or oikawa hit a spot inside your cunt. you dare take a look at where your body connects with both men, and you catch yourself becoming entranced by the way their cocks slide in and out of your pussy so easily.

you are familiar with hinata’s cock, but it’s nice to see the contrast between the two of them. while hinata’s length is thick and veiny, oikawa’s leans towards the slimmer side—but still with a considerable length. either way, both men manage to hit those sweet spots inside you and make you see stars.

“shit– princess,” oikawa falters a bit when he feels your walls fluttering around him.

“we can cum inside you, right?” hinata asks, sensing his orgasm approaching. after all, he had been waiting for his turn for around an hour.

you pull away from iwaizumi, a string of spit connecting your lips with his cock and causing it to twitch at the sight.

“you can cum wherever you want.”

“oh? the team’s cocksleeve,” oikawa adds, “i see.”

iwaizumi chuckles, combing your hair out of your face and pushing his cock back into the warmth of your mouth, “you like that nickname, sweetheart?”

with his length still in your mouth, you manage to hum in affirmation.

hinata’s pace on your clit quickens as his hips jerk faster, your cunt squeezing their cocks even more in return, “i’m cumming, ah– i-i’m gonna cum!”

he manages to say before you feel him twitch inside you, pumping his cum into your walls. the fullness plus his rapid movements on your clit cause the familiar warmth to take over your body. but it’s your fourth orgasm of the night, and before you can warn anyone, liquid spurts out of your cunt.

you squirm on top of hinata, gushing around his and oikawa’s cock while your mouth remains occupied with iwaizumi’s.

“holy shit.”

both oikawa and iwaizumi cum at the sight of you squirting before them, observing the wetness soaking oikawa’s abdomen and running all the way down onto the bedsheets. they groan as they feel their load releasing into you, oikawa filling your tender cunt while iwaizumi fills your mouth.

you try to swallow a bit of iwaizumi’s cum but it’s useless. your chest heaves in exhaustion, your eyes closing involuntarily as you’re being hit with wave after wave of fatigue.

“hey,” oikawa winces when he removes his cock from you. he shoots a worried glance at iwaizumi before he’s leaning forward so he can take a closer look at you, “princess? how are you feeling?”

iwaizumi nudges hinata with his knee, wordlessly telling him to let go of you.

the following moments become a foggy mess, your mind barely registering the pair of arms wrapping around you and carrying you somewhere else.

all you can feel is tiredness, and the dampness between your thighs, before you finally pass out.

—

consciousness slowly makes its way to you, replacing the sleepiness and making you aware of your surroundings as a familiar soreness sits heavy on your body.

in an instant, flashbacks from the previous night run through your mind.

you grip the duvet and push it away from you, only to notice the set of clothes you’re wearing: an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that clearly don’t belong to you. but you don’t have time to dwell on it, the sound of your ringtone blasting all over the room and making you scramble around the bed so you can answer the call.

but it’s of no use when it goes to voicemail—you were a bit too late.

when you manage to find your phone, you tap on the screen to see whose call you just missed.

‘hajime’

your fingertips hover on the contact name, debating between returning the call or wait for him to call you again. but a few notifications pop up at the top of the screen signaling you have three text messages from him.

hey, i guess you’re still asleep. don’t freak out when you wake up, you deserve the rest so it’s okay if you stay in bed. i left your breakfast on the nightstand and you can always call me if you need anything else.

and i thought you’d like to see this.

there’s a link attached at the end of the message.

you click on it and wait for the page to load, tapping your nails on the back of your phone anxiously. a headline in big bold letters takes over the screen and you have to stop yourself from squealing.

‘japan men’s volleyball team makes it past the first round.’

you start scrolling down the article, reading how spectacular the match was and how the entire team seemed to be in their best shape. you feel your face heat up when you read the argentinian team won their match too, with multiple comments praising oikawa’s performance.

with a smile on your lips, you go back to your messages to type a quick reply to iwaizumi. only to notice you have one more text from him.

it’s our turn to take care of you.

12K notes · View notes

nekropsii · 3 years ago

Note

hii i discovered ur blog yesterday and i love it 👀!!! idk if uve done this before but im interested in what u think about mitunas personality, and also how he was before the incident (and what the incident was cause canon is super vague and cryptic??). i don't know a lot about brain damage and how that can look in people just that there's more than one possible way so i'm also curious how to handle that from a writer's perspective (like, besides the obvious of not infantilizing him like everyone else seems to do for some fucking reason)

Hi there!!!! I’m so glad you’re liking the blog so far! It’s pretty recent, and I’m honestly surprised at the reception so far! I wasn’t really expecting much of anything!!!!

Those are ABSOLUTELY things I can discuss! Mituna is actually one of my top favorite characters, so I’m really, really glad you’ve asked!! Due to this being a multi-part question, it’s going to be really, REALLY long, so let’s start this off with a read-more!

[Cracks knuckles]

Regarding your first inquiry, of my thoughts on Mituna’s personality-

One thing I’ve noticed that people typically fail to keep in mind is that Mituna is absolutely a Captor. It’s a trend I have noticed for years, and it is a damn unfortunate one! Traits that are most often beloved aspects of Sollux’s personality are also relevant to Mituna’s personality. Let’s be real with ourselves for a moment- Mituna is the funniest motherfucker in the (remnants of the) Alpha Troll Session by a long shot. Let me list out some traits of his, because it is definitely worthy of getting a spotlight shone on it.

Mituna has a penchant for sarcasm and employs it regularly. A great example of this is the moment where Cronus said to Mituna that he was going to fake another suicide attempt for sympathy points (his words, not mine!,) and Mituna essentially replied “How about you try that out on me?” Cronus does so, and Mituna’s immediate response to it is going “Woah, let’s fuck!!!!,” which is IMMEDIATELY shown to be completely, obviously sarcastic. Mituna, to Cronus’s face, calls him a “fucking idiot” for even for a second thinking it’s genuine.

A fun trait to notice, playing through his OpenBound- Mituna is actually pretty self-aware! Especially in regards to his own clumsiness. Keep a track of times he mentions skating. He keeps making up different names for his skateboard specifically to poke fun at himself. A personal favorite of mine is (paraphrased,) “Rad-ass fall down slat.” We know he’s just making up words, because when he’s talking to himself, he literally just calls it a skateboard.

Sex jokes. So many fucking sex jokes. What else did we expect of the man who’s first name literally just means sex? Which, mind you, isn’t even a joke! His name is derived from the word Maithuna. His name means sex. He makes sex puns. He isn’t innocent, he’s not clueless regarding sexuality. I’ll hazard a guess that he’s done plenty of it, considering it’s been 1,000 years and he is in a relationship. Sex puns wherever applicable. They’re funny as hell. It’s awesome. #Spornts.

Mituna is kind of a flirt! Sure, he’s mostly joking, but jokingly flirting still shows that the person knows how to flirt in some capacity and will do so. Some of the lines were kinda smooth, in my opinion. It’s actually hilarious. Personal favorite is in one of his interactions with Meenah, where she asks “What will you grind on,” in relation to skating, and he replies, smugly, “I volunteer... that thing to be... You.” Like, you know what, let’s give him some points there. He stuck that fucking landing. That’s really funny.

While Mituna is a pessimist, and he can come across as a bit abrasive if you aren’t used to him, we do know that he’s actually pretty nice to his friends, and when he feels the impulse to be kind. (I separate the two because I’ll be damned before I call Cronus Mituna’s friend.) It’s something to keep an eye out for, but a good example is his brief interaction with Kurloz, and... You know, the concentrated implications behind the fact that he’s been able to hold a steady, loving romantic relationship for over 1,000 years. With a freakin’ Knight of Mind. The man’s probably a damn good boyfriend. At least in his own way.

I could say more, but we’d be here all day, and some things are better left to either later parts of this essay or entirely separate essays.

———————

Regarding your second inquiry, of how I see Mituna’s personality prior to the Great Act of Heroism-

Alright, okay... This is going to be a bit of a hot take.

I do not think pre-incident Mituna was all that different than he is now.

Not at all. No. I think his brain injury destabilized him mentally in the way brain injuries tend to do, and I think that subsequently pushed his personality to some extremes, but I don’t think he’s all that different in any which way. The core of his personality is the same. The way his brain works changed, not who he is at his core.

Think of it like this- Say you’re an artist, and you mess up the nerves on your hand or injure it badly. It might work a little differently after- unable to sense certain things, maybe even not as flexible as it used to be. Maybe you can’t use it as long as you used to be able to without it hurting, but it’s still a hand. It’s still your hand. It’s the same as it always was at it’s core, it just works a little differently now, and you have some extra limitations to you. They might be annoying at first, and it might even make you a little sad sometimes, but it’s still your hand.

Now consider this- if everyone around you kept making comments about your nerve damage/injury, and the new limitations you have to work with, which you are probably already stressed and/or insecure about... Constantly comparing your old capabilities to your new ones, calling you broken even if in polite wording, saying your work just isn’t the same after it all... And essentially blaming you for everything. Always stressing they prefer “the old you” over “the new one”... Wouldn’t that be really fucked up of them?

Yeah.

That’s basically just how he’s been treated. Except, like... The way he’s been treated is so much worse. Both in the sense of canon, and how the fandom handles him.

I think about pre-incident Mituna very little. It comes up in my thoughts every now and then, but it’s fleeting. It’s something worth thinking about, yes, but more often than not people will just use that stage of his character to either- not trying to be rude- basically just make an OC bearing his name, or make him more palatable. And I’m not a huge fan of that, to be blunt. I’m not a very big fan of comparing befores and afters on the topic of disability. Character exploration is good, yes, but I’ve only really seen one well done depiction of pre-incident Mituna.

With that said, check out Befriendus! I absolutely LOVE that interpretation of pre-incident Mituna. One of my favorite ideas that came of it was them making Mituna psychotic. Actually pretty good representation, in my opinion! Made me really happy! 10/10.

———————

Regarding your third inquiry, of what I personally think the Great Act of Heroism was-

Ohhh, yes. This old doozy. There’s several ways to interpret it! But there’s one core thing you have to keep in mind when speculating-

The only person there to witness the Great Act of Heroism was Kurloz. And he refuses to say a word about it.

How fucking suspicious is that, am I right? Especially since we know Kurloz uses his quadrantmates like puppets. Double especially since we know Kurloz is capable of mind control, and said mind control causes lapses in memory.

I will admit, that second part is added there for flavor. I don’t think I believe Kurloz mind controlled Mituna into doing something actually horrible in that moment- but it’s not fully out of the question. I also just wanted to remind people that Kurloz literally does mind control Mituna in canon.

I subscribe to (a slightly edited version of) the classic theory, dubbed All Trolls Go God-Tier: The Mituna Method, by Tumblr user bladekindeyewear, that Mituna straight up fucking yeeted Prospit with his mind and caused a universal domino effect that made god tiering possible for all. Give it a read, it’s awesome!

I really could go into what I think might have happened within the Alpha Troll Ssssion one day, vis-a-vis the Great Act of Heroism. One day!!!

———————

Regarding your final inquiry, of how Mituna’s brain damage manifests and how to tackle that from a writing perspective-

Research, research, research!

In my opinion, the best place to start is studying frontal lobe damage in particular, because that seems to be what he’s mostly based on. I am by no means an expert on brain damage, mind you, so this is advice to take with a grain of salt. I am writing from the perspective of someone who knows some things from study, not as someone who is an expert on traumatic brain injuries.

With that aside... The ways it seems to manifest in Mituna, at least from what I can see, are interesting. It also makes how his peers treat him, and how the fandom handles him, all the more frustrating.

Five hugely noticeable ways it shows up are poor impulse control, impairment of motor skills, trouble handling complex tasks, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty communicating “properly.”

Mituna, by all accounts, has zero filter. He acts inappropriately at times, and reacts inappropriately at times. He seems to just say whatever appears on the top of his mind with not much regard for consequences until he is met with them. This is absolutely a trait that could get him in a fair amount of trouble, but it’s also a neutral trait to have. Hell, you could absolutely boil his attempt at committing public indecency down to just him not having any impulse control. You could also boil his attempts at being nice to Cronus as a lack of impulse control.

Impairment of motor skills is decently self explanatory, and it’s even something that’s joked about a lot whether people realize it or not. His impaired motor skills is what’s making him clumsy, and is most likely why his typing quirk has so many typos.

His trouble with handling complex tasks is also something that was joked about regularly. Remember how he couldn’t figure out how to take off his clothes? While on the surface that’s genuinely fucking hilarious because even I can’t figure out how that thing works, because it’s a skin tight latex jumpsuit with no visible zipper... But then you realize having difficulty getting dressed and undressed is actually pretty common amongst people with brain damage. And suddenly it’s less just a joke about how his clothing choice is weird and he’s an idiot that can’t figure out how to take his clothes off, and more like... He literally just has brain damage. He’s not stupid, he’s just struggling. He’s only been read as stupid because people haven’t taken the time to realize that getting dressed and undressed is honestly a pretty complex task. For emphasis, next time you get fully dressed, start actively thinking about and counting the amount of steps it takes to do so. Include everything. It’s so complicated.

Emotional dysregulation is... Also self explanatory, though now it ties into his already existing mood disorder. Mituna is bipolar. There’s no dancing around that. And the TBI made his mood swings worse. Hell, the environment he’s in might be making it worse, too! People are just complete and total dicks to him because they can be. But... That’s besides the point. He doesn’t have much in the way of emotional stability, that much is obvious, and I don’t have to spoon feed it to you. That would just be patronizing, probably.

(Warning for direct discussion of assault coming up. It’s Cronus. What did anyone expect?)

Difficulty communicating “properly”... Oh boy, is this a thin rope to walk, but man is it a necessary one. Let me start this off by saying he is very much so capable of communicating with people clearly. We have SEEN him communicate with people very clearly. When Cronus was... basically just straight up on-screen assaulting Mituna, Mituna kept VERY CLEARLY telling him to stop, that he does not want Cronus to touch him, and that he “does not want [his] hand there.” Several times he voiced his nonconsent, he was very clear about it. He is capable of communicating clearly. But nonetheless, his communication skills are impaired. He can be a tad difficult to understand at times, and he sometimes throws in words that aren’t supposed to be there. Prime example coming to mind is also from the assault scene- “I want that your hand to not be on my body please” is very much so a coherent sentence, but it’s just a bit stilted. There’s also the fact that he has difficulty recounting things to people, which very well could be related.

There’s a lot of other avenues you could take regarding it, though! And I do recommend research above all else. I’m just a guy on the Internet.

———————

Overall, the way Mituna’s character has been largely handled by the fandom is bizzare to me. All things aside, he’s literally just some guy. He’s just standing there, minding his own business, and some people just really, really hate the fact that he has symptoms. You can write Mituna in a way that feels more realistic. That’s fine and dandy. But if symptoms of brain damage as a whole are what is unpalatable to you, you’re probably an ass.

The symptoms he has aren’t inherently bad. They aren’t inherently good, either. It’s neutral, and it’s situational. What fucks me up is that people have this tendency to cringe and look away because his symptoms aren’t inherently pretty or relatable. So, they pretty him up.

There’s zero reason to infantilize Mituna that doesn’t involve ableism in some way. He’s just some greasy 4Channer skater dude who wants to make music and draw. He’s just vibing, bro.

#thank you for the question!#hope this wasn’t too rambly or meandering #adhd. you know how it is #homestuck #homestuck analysis #homestuck fandom #alpha trolls #dancestors #beforans #beforan trolls #mituna #mituna captor #meenah peixes #kurloz makara #cronus ampora #mituna.pdf #cw assault #nekro.sms #nekro.pdf

163 notes · View notes

weirdbabs · 3 years ago

Text

im putting together a collection of everything discovered and what that could mean for @heyitsdoe’s murder mystery event. the suspects with decreasing order of suspicion, what items go with who (and if its confirmed), and things i thought were interesting/important (and where it was learned). in case anyone wants to draw their own conclusions from this

if the murder weapons are listed with a suspect its because they knew why it was of interest, not necessarily bc i think they used it

doffy

most suspicious for what i feel are obvious reasons, possible red herring. motive: gaining the deed to the estate for weapons trades

items: deed to the estate (✔️), suspicious bottle of wine

lucci

cagey, spent the night alone, passing blame, and at the party “on business”. motive: ?

items: locked suitcase (✔️), pack of cards, suspicious bottle of wine, copper wire

kid

hot headed and uncomfortable in his investigation. motive: had gotten in a fight with doe and his apology was... terrible, maybe crime of passion?

items: does phone (✔️), lackluster apology note (✔️)

mihawk

calm but doesnt seem to appreciate that hes being interrogated. also, no one seems to know where he was last night. motive: ?

items: broken glass (✔️), expensive painting (✔️)

x drake

a marine sent to investigate who doe was sided with, and unable to send out his report. motive: maybe what he found he didnt like and took matters into his own hands?

items: hidden den den mushi (✔️), signs of disturbance

katakuri

the most distressed by the muder, altho not surprising given his relationship with the deceased. motive: confessed his love for doe and was turned down. crime of passion?

items: torn love letter (✔️), suspicious bottle of wine

marco

the most at ease with a constant smile that has disturbed more than a few of the other suspects. motive: took offense with the way doe was writing him, and the fact she didnt plan on changing

items: notebook with ripped pages, ripped notebook pages (✔️), suspicious bottle of wine

law

forthcoming with information, and the only one so far whos admitted to trying to use their powers. motive: doe was concerned about him not getting enough sleep and wouldnt drop it to his annoyance

items: crumpled pamphlet (✔️), sleeping pills (✔️)

killer

difficult to read due to the literal mask on his face, claims he didnt have much of a relationship with the deceased. motive: doe had wealth and a lot of it, and he felt the money could have been spent elsewhere

items: drops of blood (✔️), empty jewelry box (✔️)

doe

the illustrious host who has been less than helpful thru the night, although that may be on account of her being dead. so far shes asked where her chapstick is, revealed that she knew the party was a bad idea, and a simple, cryptic hes lying to you. her latest message was simply to ask whether weve solved her murder yet. she probably doesnt have much more to say

items: ouji board (✔️)

things known:

- doe died silently, either thru the method of murder or location (katakuri)

- the library has a “strange quiet” (library)

- the house seems to have seastone in it somewhere, preventing anyone from using their powers (kid, law)

- doe hadnt been feeling well (x drake)

- mihawk disappeared early in the night (marco)

- the pack of cards is “still tucked tightly in its box” (living room)

- broken glass is from a champagne flute (dining room)

- doe dropped a champagne glass and hurried off bc she felt strange, presumably while drinking with mihawk (mihawk)

- doe said that “he’s lying to you”. could be stating the obvious or it could be letting us know the killer was someone she trusted/someone who seems upset (does ghost)

- katakuri left the kitchen abruptly and went left, which leads to the lounge and the master bedroom, where he probably bumped into x drake (killer)

- mihawk believes the assassin was after him (mihawk)

#i like trying to be able to piece everything together and it SEEMS like doffy but my brains screaming thats too obvious #one piece #...technically

43 notes · View notes

noxiatoxia · 2 years ago

Note

if the hosts formed a band what would each do (also i have the image of the twins wanting to sing something like “i fucked ur mom” by sorry mom or “im yer dad” by grlwood and trying really hard to convince tamaki to let them sing it and he’s VEHEMENTLY against it heheh)

OH ok this is all very interesting to think about........ so in this au/concept i assume every member has musical interest/talent (since lbr haruhi could NEVER be in a band for the. obvious reasons.) so... I'll give my general overviews as well as what I think their music would sound like :D

So Tamaki is a solo artist and he'd make pop songs as you theorized. He'd be VERY big on his stag presence, very idol-esque. There's actually an offical(sorta) English in character song for Tamaki and I think it sounds exactly like the kind of stuff he'd make. I feel like some of his other music would sound like this tho :) It's like...idk how to put it bc i'm not good with classifying music, but it's like pop but not saccharine. It's more moody. moody pop. I would like to assume he has a lot of piano in his music.

KYOYA is...interesting. Again a solo artist. Unlike Tamaki who places a LOT of emphasis on stage presence, Kyoya operates mostly from his house and does not really make public appearances....now I know many peoples first thoughts for Kyoya + music is "he likes classical" and i'm sure he RESPECTS it, but tbh...I think it's not his favorite. esp bc of the family he was raised in, he was forced to listen to it like ALL THE TIME and now he's so sick of it. So for him I'm going for calm but still lively songs with an emphasis on string instruments, like this and this.

The twins would DEF be making industrial rock/grunge rock and stuff like that. Very loud, beat heavy. Also with some dupstep influences. The titles would be very joky/provocative, think Anal Cunt (sorry in advance if you dont know who that is) but their titles are just a LITTLE less extreme. But same general concept. In terms of general sound this is what I have in mind. However, as individuals, I think their music would be very different

Kaoru would make very "odd" music. I think it leans more electronic/rock, usually with very odd-sounding parts, bordering on denpa (songs meant to invoke a feeling of uneasiness/discomfort). The lyrics would probably be cryptic if not a little disconcerting. look my mans has 5 different mental issues he needs SOMEWHERE to vent them. I feel like his music would generally sound and have lyrics kinda like this (promoting my own translation channel...) or like this

Hikaru on the other hand is a little more true to their shared band concept. Rock, maybe with metal influences. Up-beat stuff that can be kinda goofy in lyrics. Also rap in it maybe? Songs like this and this are what I have in mind in terms of sound.

Hani would have a band with Mori :) I think their style is interesting since I imagine they're very different musically, so combined they make..... pop metal. HEAR MME OUT. IT WOULD BE FUNNY. idk why but I always saw Hani as the kinda guy who secretly is a metal fan....it just seems funny....he thinks it's very fun an energetic!! this is the kinda stuff they'd make. Hani would be the vocalist most of it but Mori does some too

Now, alone... I think Hani makes what you'd expect. Very saccharine pop-ish songs like this one. Just fun nonsense.

Mori would def be more towards slow-ish, low-fi songs that are quiet. I'm thinking like this? Alternatively you can say more traditional slow songs and I agree, but tbh I...do not like like slow music much so I have no examples. Low-fi is the only slow music genre I seem to enjoy.

Ok Haruhi. Haruhi is fucking hard. I have no god damn clue what her music would be like. She's also a stand-alone and much like Kyoya does not care for people knowing who she is, even less so. I think she just uses some stage name and nobody knows her face and name lol. Her music...I...I guess something like this? I'm really lost on this one. I'm just thinking, electronic and loud but still soft somehow.

#;noxiatalks2ya #ohshc

3 notes · View notes

miss-choco-chips · 4 years ago

Text

Bird Watchers

It was something like an open secret in Gotham, that even though all it’s heroes were open to help no matter the situation, each one of them had a special affinity to certain matters.

For example, children from all districts knew to yell for Nightwing if they found themselves lost and scared. Small business owners often painted little Oracle symbols on their doorsteps, to warn away possible thieves with the knowledge that Gotham’s cryptic hacker had their eye on them. Working girls would send a quick prayer to the Red Hood before seeing their seediest clients; and as such, knew who to call for if things took a turn for the worst.

And Red Robin… well. His was a very specific bunch.

---.---

Warnings: depression, suicide attempts, overdose comic-typical violence (discussed, not explicit). Hurt-comfort all the way, baby. There’s also one scene, with the redhead, that I copied from the comics.

(it’s almost 2 am, I wrote half of this in one go, don’t @ me for mistakes. I’ll edit tomorrow. Maybe.)

---.---

The first time he stopped a suicide, he had just turned thirteen. The suit still felt wrong, too loose in all the places where Jason’s bigger presence would have been a better fit. Too small, too brainy, not brash enough, not good enough.

He would never think himself worthy, but he was all Batman had. There were no other candidates, not ones he could have thrown the job at without risking Bruce’s identity, so he’d have to make do.

But even so, he had been gaining a little confidence over the past few months. His training with Shiva, and Dick’s and Bruce’s focus on making him as ready for the streets as humanly possible, had ensured he never encountered a situation where he couldn’t handle himself, or get back up in time to avoid any casualties.

Except for right now.

“Hey! Don’t do it, please!”

Yeah, maybe yelling at the man precariously balanced on the edge of a how many feet tall building wasn’t his wisest moment. He’d berate himself later. Now was freak out time.

Said man stumbled for a second before regaining his footing and turning to look at Tim. He couldn’t be more than forty, with a bit of an overgrown beard and tired eyes. He had something clutched in one hand, tanned and calloused from work, the other over his chest, probably due to the scare of having a bat suddenly appearing behind him.

“R-Robin…”, he gasped, shook out of whatever reverie he was going through for a second. “W-what… I mean, why are you…?”

‘Okay, Tim, breath. Can’t call B, he’ll notice, get startled and jump. Can I catch him if he does? My grappling hook is made to withstand more than my weight, but if I can’t handle the strain of swinging us both to safety…’

He couldn't risk it.

“Good evening, Mr…?”

Surprise and good manners made the man automatically answer, “Ed. Ed Harrinson.”

Encouraged, Tim took a tiny teeny step forward. Ed’s entire body shock and he leaned backwards. Tim froze, fear keeping his breathing and heartbeat hostages for the time being, stopping the first and kick starting the second.

“Mr Harrinson, I’d like to ask you to step away from the edge? I’ll call an ambulance for you, and…”

“No!”, the man screamed, suddenly over his surprise, a look of determination trying to masquerade his obvious exhaustion. “If you call an’one, I’ll jump.”

Tim wisely kept the ‘you were gonna do it anyway’ to himself. He nodded slowly, hands emerging from the confines of his cape to show Mr Harrinson the lack of a communication device.

“I won’t, then, but may I come closer? Please?”

It was on the last word, high pitched and wavering, that the man cracked. With wary demeanor, he waved him over, pointing to a patch of rooftop a little far but close enough for Tim to feel comfortable- or as comfortable as he’d get, in these circumstances.

As he approached, he could feel the man analyzing him. The little gasp when he stood by his side didn’t go unnoticed.

“You are… smaller than I imag’ned. Too small for a bat. My boy’s taller than you” he mused, likely to himself, but Tim grasped onto that bit of information and clutched at it with both hands, desperately.

“I’m short compared to my peers, so maybe I’m the same age as your son. How old is he?”, he asked, in his most conversational tone. Fear still had a grasp over both his lungs and heart.

Something in the man’s face shifted.

“He… he just turned fifteen.” Older than Tim, then. Ed continued, “He’s… ”, in a second, the sadness was replaced by pride, “he’s grown up p’tty well, if I say so m’self. A fine young man, that kid. He’ll go places.”

For a beat, Tim tried to imagine his own dad here. As much as he’d hate to see Jack in Mr Harrinson’s place, he couldn't help but wonder if he’d be talking about him the same way Ed spoke about his son.

He… didn’t think so. If on the verge of death, thoughts about his son would probably be the farthest from his dad’s mind.

“You sound like you love him very much. He’s a lucky guy” he said sincerely, a tendril of hopefulness still twisted around his stomach. His hands weren’t shaking any longer, finding solace in the fact that the man in front of him didn’t look like he was about to jump right that second.

Mr Harrinson’s face fell.

“Got served an’ unlucky hand, with an old man like me”, his eyes went back to the abyss, to the empty, poor litten streets below them. “Go ‘way, kid. Leave m’ be. Notta business what I do. Gotta do this f’r my kid.”

Fear came back, full force.

“I- Sorry, but I can’t help but think about your son”, he blurted out, the only bit of information he had about the man was his only tendril of hope. “Someone who loves his child as much as you seem to must be a good father. A father that… would be missed dearly, if lost so young.”

Mr Harrinson looked even more devastated. Tim was doing this all wrong, wasn’t he?

“There’s no other way t’ keep’im safe!'' he yelled, and for a minute Tim thought he had decided to jump then and there. Instead, he dropped to his knees, hands to his head, paper still clutched in one fist. “They’ll get to him if I don’t! Once I’m dead, they’ll just leave’im alone!”

Tim crouched next to him, tentative.

“Who is ‘they’, sir? Maybe I could help…”

Ed was already shaking his head.

“Nay, they said not to go to the bats. Kill my boy, they will, if I do. Seen them offing others for less, so I believe them.”

“Ah, but I’m too short to be a bat, am I not?” he smiled, wobbly at best but sincere. “Besides, who’s gonna tell them you spoke to me? I”, he gestured to his mask, “know how to keep a secret.”

He considered for a beat, before tired shoulders fell, defeated. He offered the slip of paper towards him, unseeing eyes on the street below.

Robin read the note carefully, noting the sloppy penmanship and cheap paper as well as the message itself.

“Mr Harrinson…”

“I know”, he whispered, “I know working for the Black Mask wasn’t my best idea. But m’boy needed to eat, and the landlord was gettin’ impatient. And now, for whatever reason, boss wants me dead. And if I make ‘im dirty his own hands, he’ll dirty ‘em twice and send me with my son for company to the other side. Felix is too young, and he’s good. Can’t let ‘im pay f’ his old man m’stakes, ya hear me?”

Tim thought his words over carefully.

“Mr Harrinson… I don’t think this comes from Black Mask himself”, for one, Blackie wasn’t one to avoid blood on his gloves, nor to send such a shitty note. The man lived for the drama, like most A-listers did, and he’d never forgo the aesthetic of an expensive peachment and beautifully worded threat. Also, if he wanted this man gone, he would have put a bullet in his head the second he clocked in; and if it were revenge he was after, he wouldn't have gotten a warning note but his son’s head sent to him instead.

He folded the paper and put it into one of his multiple pockets, free hand going to the man’s shoulder.

“I know Black Mask’s M.O, mister, and this is not it”, no need to spook him further by describing what it was, though. “Probably just a colleague who wanted your position, or has a grudge for whatever reason. And that, I can help you with. If you work with me on this one, we can both make sure Felix has his Dad making breakfast for him tomorrow morning, and all the days after that. After all”, he smiled, no longer uncertain now that he had firm ground to work with, “your son is going places, and he’ll have to be well fed to reach them, right?”

Mr Harrinson’s smile must have had magical properties, Tim thought. There was no other explanation for the way it returned his breath back to his body.

---.----

The next time he saw a jumper, a few months later, he was slightly more ready for it. Bruce had congratulated him on his work with Mr Harrinson, and the subsequent raid they could make on one of Black Mask’s warehouses thanks to the man’s information, but Tim hadn’t been satisfied until he had read every single mission report on the batcomputer about attempted suicides. And succeed ones, too. Need to know what went well and what didn’t, after all.

So when he saw the fifty-something woman crying on top of a tower in City Hall District, he didn’t almost-crash in his attempt to get there in time. He landed softly, making just enough noise to let her know she wasn’t alone, but careful to not startle her.

“It’s a little cold up here, Lady. If you’d like, I can walk you home?”, he tries for cheeky, despite the cold fear nesting in his stomach like a grumpy, spiteful bird.

The woman, sitting by the edge, turned her head to look at him. The movement called attention to her long, strawberry blonde hair, neatly braided, and her pretty diamond earrings. The face under her perfect make up was gaunt and pale, tear tracks cleaning paths of skin to his trained eye.

Despite him interrupting what probably were very private thoughts, she smiled at his approach, kind and polite. It didn’t reach her eyes, but the intent to put him at ease was generous enough.

“I may be a lady, but any adult worth their salt would insist on walking the young child home, instead of the opposite. Besides”, she patted the rooftop under her,” I live here, so it’s not a long walk at all.”

Tim stepped closer, carefully.

“May I sit?”

“I could use the company for a bit”, she accepted, head turning back to the city below.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, before Tim’s soft voice broke it again.

“Is there anything I can do to help convince you not to do it? Please?”

The lady smiled. “You are a very sweet boy.”

“That’s… not an answer. Can I at least know why?”

“Won’t it torment you, in the future, if we speak now?”, she asked a question of her own, turning to face him again. Despite her words, there was nothing but kindness in those deep green eyes. “If you don’t know me, I’m just another one who jumped. If we talk, I’m afraid I might stay with you long after I’m gone. You are too young for that kind of weight.”

Tim swallowed.

“That’s easily solved, Miss;”, Dick’s rule of thumb; if unsure, always call a lady Miss before Mrs “don’t do it.”

She spared him a long, meaningful look, and he slumped over.

“Not my best, I know, but I’m kinda freaking out now?” She wasn’t like Mr Harrinson, no motive he could see, no strand to pull and unravel her pain. “Please, just… why?”

She patted one of the hands gripping his own knee. His other hand rushed over hers, sandwiching her cold, slim fingers between his gloved palms.

“There’s nothing left for me. I have a nice job, live in a pretty side of town, have friends, and still… it feels so empty. So… Meaningless. Why even bother?”

Tim chewed on her words silently. He was way out of his depth. A tangible, physical problem? He could solve those, no biggie.

Depression, though… that was a different giant to tackle. Was he even prepared enough to?

A strong gust of wind made the lady with braided hair shiver. Without thought, Tim unclasped his cape and draped it over her slim shoulders.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked, head tilted like a curious woodland animal. Tim felt strongly protective of her, of this kind, sweet lady, who said she had it all, except the one thing that mattered to her.

“I’m used to it”, he shrugged. “This suit is very warm, but cold air often trickles down from the neckline and… well. Gigs of the job and all that.”

The lady tutted, frowning for the first time since Tim arrived.

“That won’t do, young man. You need a scarf. The nights will only get colder from now on.”

He shrugged again.

“I just… don’t have the time to buy one. And I had one, but… There’s these kids who often hang out by the park, and they were so cold, I just couldn't swing by and ignore them. So I gave them my scarf to share between them. I’m just kinda bummed that I don’t have more to make sure they all stay warm.”

The braided haired lady hummed for a second.

“Well… I knit”, she started, carefully. “I don’t have children or grandchildren to give my final products to, so they’ll go to waste after I’m gone. If you’d take them out of my hands, you’ll do me a favor.”

Tim wanted to say no, unwilling to make this any easier for her, but the chance of getting her away from the edge was enough to quell his voice.

She went and came back within minutes, a big cardboard box balanced over her shaky arms. He rose to help her, meeting the woman halfway through the roof, a good distance away from the abyss.

“This red one would look good with your suit… oh, and the green one, to keep with the theme! Or maybe the yellow one… Shame pink would be such a bad fit for your colors, because that wool is the best I worked with…”

Tim’s hand carefully took said carf out and looked it over. There were about six others in the box.

“I could take this to those kids I mentioned before… It’d still not be enough for all, but more to share between them means less cold.”

She hummed again, looking at the unfinished projects on the bottom of the box.

“If… If you give me a few days…” she muttered. “I mean, I’m in no rush”, a hand vaguely gestured towards the rooftop’s edge. “I could spare a few days finishing those, and you could take them to these kids you spoke about… and maybe, I can help make a few children less cold with this silly hobby of mine.”

Elated beyond words, Tim nodded vigorously, waxing poetry about her work and about just how excited little Ellie would be with this soft, pretty pink scarf.

His patrol route could use a few detours, after all, if that meant keeping Braided Hair Lady away from her roof.

---.----

He was just returning from a late supply run when he bumped into The Cats.

It was in an alleyway, a block off from Mrs Eloise Denvarow (formerly known as Braided Hair Lady). The older woman had caved after three months knowing each other, of Tim passing by her apartment once every other night to pick up her baked goods or knitted masterpieces, to distribute between street kids and working girls, and told him her name. It was said in passing (“Stop with that ‘Lady’ thing, honey. It’s Eloise”), as if lacking importance, when in reality it meant the world to him. Sure, he’d already known, having run a background check on her the minute he came back to the cave after stopping her from jumping, but there was that implicit vow between them, that she wouldn't tell him her name and jump, wouldn’t make him carry its weight on his shoulders forever, so it was… it was a promise, on her end, a reassurance, and Tim wasn’t even embarrassed that he cried in her arms like a baby for ten minutes.

So here he was, a month after that, still riding that high, when the desperate call from below caught his attention.

There were two teens on the dirty ground, nested among cracked bottles and old newspapers. The girl was lying in the boy’s arms, with him screaming for help.

“Robin! Thank fuck!”, he almost sobs, arms visibly tightening around the girl. Tim wants to ask how he knew to call for him, and if the proximity to Mrs Denvarow’s place was luck or not.

But it wasn’t the time to ask.

The girl was pale, which only highlighted the bruises on her face. Someone with a big fist punched her. It doesn't seem likely, considering just how distraught the other kid is, but he checks his hands just in case; fortunately, too small for that kind of damage.

She’s also breathing erratically and, when he puts a gloved hand to her neck, he realizes just how crazy her pulse is.

Fear Toxin? Except Scarecrow is still in Arkham as far as he knows, and even if he had gotten away recently, he needs time to develop his precious chemicals. Joker’s Venom and Mad’s Hatter drugs don’t have quite this results, and Ivy doesn’t usually attack street girls just for kicks; they are also too far from her usual turf for her to be a viable suspect.

So, that leaves very few choices.

“Overdose?”, he ventures a guess, hand already fumbling through the pockets on his belt.

The other boy sobs harder, nodding while looking down at the girl in his arms. Tim gently takes the girl from him to position her straighter, to help her down the vial he finally found in his belt. It was supposed to help flush out any chemical in a few minutes, tops; they usually used it when a new type of Crazy Criminal Drug made its way to the streets and they didn’t have the time to properly prepare an antidote. It was strong, and vicious in its path to devoid the body of any and all external agents, which was why it wasn’t a preferred method; who’s to say the civilian in need of a flush isn’t in some important medicine? The Big Flush, as Dick calls it, lacked any kind of finesse or discrimination.

But it was their best shot right now, so there goes nothing.

There’s silence while they watch the girl’s progress. He doesn’t bother asking if he called for an ambulance; they are obviously minors, probably homeless, and even if the Wayne Foundation takes care of children’s hospital fees, they’d avoid it to keep themselves out of the foster system.

But then, the kid kept talking.

“I… I found her near Grant Park. I… I didn’t know what to do, so I dragged her here. She/” and then he breaks again, hands grasping one of hers, as if letting go meant he was giving up on her and he couldn't bear it.

“Grant Park is only five blocks away,” Tim thinks out loud, mind already a mile away “and Moench’s Row illicit night clinic is about the same distance from there as this place. Why did you bring her here?”

“She… Alley… Oh, her name’s Allison, by the way. And I’m Thomas. Tom.” Introductions, miraculously, seem to do the trick here and calm him down. “Nice to meetcha.”

Tim’s not deterred by his toothy grin, but he has to admit he’s kinda cute. Like, stray cat cute.

Huh. Alley, Tom, cat… Yeah, that checks.

“What happened with Allison?” he presses softly, one arm still keeping Alley up and against his chest, the other hand on her pulse point, taking note of the way the heartbeat seems to be stabilizing. The puking fest was gonna start soon.

“She… It was on purpose.” Tom confesses, eyes going clouded for a while. “She tries to not be home, yknow? I met her in kindergarten, and even then she’d try to hide behind the teacher’s desk in hopes they’d forget about her and close the building with her inside. Anyway, we pretty much live on the streets these days, and Alley… she’s very depressed. I convinced her to see someone a while ago, even stol/ I mean, earned the money for it myself”, he’s quick to correct, eyes glancing up to see if he was smooth enough to cover it; which he wasn’t, but Tim was in favor of letting that small one go, “and they gave her a prescription for antidepressants. She’s been kicking it down the road, but she’s gotten a lot worse and I wouldn't lay off her case about it, so she sneaked back home to get some money from her folks to pay for it.”

By the way the kid looks at her bruised face with unmeasurable guilt, Tim knows she didn’t go unnoticed.

“And… I don’t know. We were supposed to meet up by the Commerce Street Highway, but she was late, so I walked around for a bit and… I saw her there, on a bench. She was/ she was still conscious then, and she told me… she said ‘these aren’t what the doc gave me, but they took the pain away all the same’.” Again, Tom chokes on his own emotions. If he had any free hands, he’d try to put one on his shoulder for comfort. “I don’t even know what she took, or where did she get it from!”

Tim has heard whispers of loan sharks and drug dealres camping toghter by the Fashion Distric, just north of Grant Park, so he can make an informed guess as to how that happened. Also, he now knows what he’ll do the rest of the night, once these kids are safe.

When Tom has gotten a grasp of himself, he pushes again.

“So, why did you bring her here?”

He shrugs, a bit abashed.

“Well… I mean, everyone knows about how Mrs Denvarow is the one giving clothes and food away, and that you help her distribute it. Well, not everyone, but… you know, the street kids. We flagged her building with a yellow skull and everything.”

A yellow skull grafitti, Tim’s mind translates, is the street equivalent of a ‘don’t fuck with this place’ sing. A sort of protective sigil. He wonders how he missed it.

“And… This is kind of your thing, right? So I figured you’d be better prepared to deal with it than some overworked clinic that might even not have enough free equipment to help us. Good think I did, too” he gestures at his friend, whose face is now looking flushed; a sign both of growing health, and of the upcoming puke. Tim’s quick to turn her so her back is to his chest, head tilted down just in case.

As if rehearsed, Alley chose that exact second to empty the contents of her now flushed stomach. Tim would need a sample of that, to catch the responsible dealer.

Tom held her hair away from her face while Tim kept her steady, and she blinked bearily at them after it was done, still not completely lucid but a world away from the girl she was ten minutes ago.

“She’ll still need a hospital.'' Tim informs Tom sternly. The boy had taken his friend in his arms again, softly rubbing her back to help with the uncomfortable ache leftover after puking your guts out. “The Moench’s Row clinic should be able to help with any side effect, but she’s safe for now.”

He nods, thanks Tim again and again and politely refuses his help to take her to the clinic. They part ways, both parties probably thinking this would be the last time they saw each other.

Still, their situation sticks with Tim during the rest of his patrol, and he decides to stop by the clinic, just to check on them. His knuckles still ache from the absolute beating he delivered to the ones who gave Alley the money and sold her the drugs, so he’s in better spirits and hopes to spread it to the kids.

Alley is awake when he visits, and her shy, little smile is enough for the rage inside of Tim to die down. The bad guys dealt with, the civilians safe, everything in its proper place.

He sleeps a bit better that night.

---.----

He almost doesn’t see him.

Actually, he probably wouldn't have, deeply lost into his own head, had the guy been anything other than a redhead. That exact shade of orangy-brown auburn, that he would have to pick up from his workbench at Titan’s tower after Bart had decided to ‘keep him company’ during his all-nighters.

It was ironic, how now he would give anything in the world to have those same strands of hair fucking up his experiments, if only for the impish, ‘please-don’t-kill-me-I’m-an-angel’ smile he would receive in exchange.

“Hey”, he greets, landing softly at the man’s right, sitting a few feet away from him, too tired to even stand up on common ground. “What’s happening?”

He shouldn’t be doing this. He really, really shouldn’t. His own mental health was less than stellar, and even thinking about it made him feel worse. He didn’t deserve to feel bad, not when civilians were in the hospital after his latest fuck up, Cass was missing, Cassie barely hanging in there, the family a mess with Damian’s lovely introduction, and… well. Every other person he knew…

Point being, there must be someone else, in a better inner place, that could speak to this guy. But since no one seemed to be patrolling this route, Tim could only hope to stall him long enough for a more capable vigilante to show up.

The guy looks startled, then angry. He has green eyes, he notices, under the glasses. Not sure why that sticks to him.

“What are you doing here? You’re not going to try to stop me, are you? You’re not going to swing down and catch me in mid air or something, are you?”

He seems defensive, but Tim notices a bit of hesitancy. He has worked with less.

(He wishes he had more energy to do more with what little he has)

“No. If I did, what’s to stop you from doing it again later, or tomorrow? I can’t be with you every second. If you want to do this, you are going to, no matter how much I don’t want you to. And I don’t want you to, just so we are clear.”

The guy still looks suspicious, but he hasn’t taken that last step forward, so… a win?

“I just needed to sit down for a minute. ‘been thinking about all the ways I’ve screwed up lately, and…”

Auburn-hair deflates a little, turning away from Tim to examine the night sky. “Well, that makes two of us.”

The bat signal lights up the night. His newfound companion looks at it, then him. “Do you need to get that?”

“Nah. Batman will, and if he needs help he’ll call me.” Tim shrugs. He needs a coffee-power-up. He needs to sleep. He needs for his loved ones to not be dead.

He needs to see if there’s anything he can do for this guy.

“So, do you want to tell me why you’re doing this? So someone can go to your family and friends to let them know?”

After all, if it was him who did it (and… wasn’t that food for thought?), he’d like Bruce and Dick to know why. To not… to not blame themselves.

Redhead looks annoyed again. Uh. A short fuse, this one.

“Don’t try any psychology, or try to make me feel guilty about hurting anyone… this isn't about anyone but me.”

He shouldn’t say it, but… “That’s pretty naive, but whatever. Tell me anyway.” He smirks a bit, then “Unless you’re in a hurry or something.”

He hears the guy (he really should ask his name) as he tells his story. A cold, clinical part of his mind recognizes the symptoms described almost unconsciously by the guy as depression. He would know, after all. The other part of him, the part that made him Robin, that made him human, discarded the label; there was much more to this guy than his illness, and he would treat him like it.

“So here I am,” he finishes, now sitting side by side with Tim, both their legs hanging above the bustling city. “Now’s when you tell me how stupid this is. That other people have much bigger problems, there’s hunger and war, and I’m weak because my problems are nothing next to stuff like that.”

Tim thinks of a father, desperately thinking his death would save his son’s life, when in fact it would have only made it worse. He thinks of a woman, so full of love and warmth, looking into the abyss and feeling empty inside. He thinks of a couple of kids, one hanging to life with nails and teeth, the other hanging to her just as fiercely.

He thinks about himself. About looking at a future version of himself, hating what he sees, and deciding to drown the bud before it can even flower. He thinks of sickly green water, of cloning equipment in a laboratory, of a phone falling to the ground after delivering him with more bad news.

He’s still in a bad place, still probably not the most capable person to be doing this, but a part of him is sure this is the right answer. The only answer.

“No. Your problems are worse than anyone else’s, because they are yours. I’ve... felt bad like you have, and some pretty bad things have happened to me.”

Red hair looks as tired as Tim feels, so it’s a surprise that he has enough energy to glance at him worriedly, hand stretching a bit in his direction in a half-formed attempt to comfort.

“You guys make it look so easy, swinging around, having fun… Things get bad for you, too?”

Tim looks down, and smiles. It’s a sad, bitter thing. He thinks about parents lost before ever connecting to them, about a girlfriend going away, a sister lost to the madness of their lives, about two best friends gone, one even dying in his arms.

He gives no details. Doesn’t talk about it all, just shares a little bit of himself. It’s only fair, after hearing about this guy’s demons. Misery loves company, doesn’t it?

“So what do you do? How do you deal with it?” the guy asks when he’s done, looking at Tim by the corner of his not-very-dry eyes.

Tim forces himself to remember. “One of the things I’ve learned is that it gets bad for everyone sometimes, Superman, Batman… everyone. I remember that I’m not alone, that things do get better. Sometimes on their own, most times when you work at them. And when I have trouble remembering those things, I find people to talk to.”

Most of those were dead, but Tim is hit with the epiphany that not all of them are. He still has people. He still…

“And you’ve got people like that? That you can talk to?” asks the guy, tone both worried and hopeful. Tim stands up, does his best to look calm.

“Yeah. Your folks, and old friend, even a trained counselor you’ve never met before… someone who has a totally different perspective because they’re not as close to your problems as you are. Maybe they give you advice, and that’s great… or maybe they just listen. Sometimes, that’s all you need. Anyway, that’s how I deal with it when things suck. And it works. Want to come down from there and give it a try?”

The guy gets back to his feet, as Tim watches from behind. Having been in this situation before, the fear grabbing a hold of him isn’t new, but it's different. He thinks he's too worn down. It takes the edge off of any emotion.

Except hope. Hope still hurts like a sharp knife when it’s snatched away. He prays it won’t be, right now.

Green eyes (Jason- that’s who they reminded him of) look down, deep in thought. Then he turns, smiles at Tim. There’s hope in him too.

“Yeah, why not?”

They get down together. He gives him a few numbers and they have breakfast together. The guy promises to call his English teacher, at least. Tim promises himself to call his brother.

At least, he still has Dick.

---.----

He’s been putting off doing his rounds since he came back, he knows. But…

It changed him, a bit. Going around the world, dealing with his grief while staying on his toes, ready to break down one second and having to field off attacks from all sides the next, with the Demon’s honeyed whispers echoing in his ear and mind.

He’ll never tell anyone, just how tempting it had been. How much he had wanted to reach for that offered hand. To lay his head on someone’s shoulder and let the responsibility bleed from his.

Tim will never tell anyone, but he’ll always know. And it’ll always make him hate himself a little bit more.

So, he’s different now. And he’s scared- that the people he gave hope to, that he talked with, that he could never stop thinking about, even halfway across the world- that they won’t like this new, worn down him.

That Mr Harrinson the Good Father, Braided Hair Lady and her sweaters, the inseparable Stray Cats, the girl with the bright yellow cardigan, the kid with the scarred wrists, the woman with beautiful star-like freckles that she’ll hopefully pass on to her baby, the gentle giant man with calloused hands, the petite but fierce young teen with defiant eyes and dead name, the soft spoken girl with the loudest laugh, auburn-haired boy and his hopeful and sympathetic green eyes… and so, so many more. They all knew him, maybe not at his best, but certainly better than now. The boy that kept them from jumping had been a bright, magical Robin. The teen that came back to their city was dark, weary Red Robin. It felt kinda like he had cheated them, returning this broken version of himself to their doorsteps.

But he had to go check on all of them. Even if Cass (and it was such a relief, that even after he lost everything else, the return of his sister could at least be a speck of light in the mist of misery surrounding him) had promised to do so, there were so many of them… and she couldn't possibly remember everyone, all the time. And if anyone had fallen through the gaps… if anyone had stood on a rooftop, waiting for their Robin to save them, only to think ‘nobody cares’ as he didn’t show up…

Tim gets sick only thinking about it. If it did happen, then he needs to know. He has to carry their names with him, that’s the least he can do for failing them.

So he’ll go check on them�� anytime now. Soon. The moment he gathers enough energy to climb back to his feet and get his grapple hook out.

...The city looks full of life, beneath him. Like it feels the return of its Knight. The end of the internal quarrel among it’s vigilantes, that almost tore it all apart. The relief in Nightwing, the hesitant peace in Red Hood, the mellowing of Robin.

(He was feeling poetic tonight, in the worst ways)

Maybe it also feels Red Robin’s emptiness. Maybe that’s why it's so lively down there, like the ground is calling to him, just as it did when Ra’s broke the window with his body.

He thinks... he won’t have to check on anyone, if he jumps. And that way, there will be no name to carry with him to his grave.

“Robin!”

“Stop!”

“Don’t do it, please!”

He startles. Hadn’t even noticed when he got to his feet, nor that one of them was hanging over the abyss. The fact that he wasn’t alone on that rooftop any longer hadn’t even breached his usually perfect spatial awareness.

They didn’t call for him, but the voices sounded distraught, they were close, and he was a former Robin, so he turned around, tired, but with obedience and service too ingrained in him to consider denying help to whoever it was.

It turned out, he wouldn't need to go make his rounds any longer. His rounds had come to him.

There were… too many people on this roof. It was way too crowded.

“Robin!”

It was one voice now, not a mixture of them, so he could identify the one yelling his former alias. Allison broke from the mob of people (and there were more still, filling in from the open rooftop door, like a never-ending stream…) to run to him, looking like she might have just jumped into his arms, if not for Tom clutching her hoodie to stop her a few feet from him. Good move, considering he was still balancing precariously on the edge.

“Alleycat?” he whispered, a little blown. She looked so different (magenta looked amazing on the tips of her hair, and she totally pulled off that lip piercing), but he’d recognize those eyes anywhere. He’d been so relieved, when she first opened them after that dangerous overdose.

“We were so fucking worried, dude”, came from Tomcat just behind her, still gripping her hoodie (still keeping her safe; some things never change).

“I…”

“Where were you?” Maddie, not longer yellow but still wearing a cute cardigan, stepped up too.

“I’m… I’m not Robin”, he blurts out. They… knew it was him? It… like, obviously there was a new Robin, Damian was (still, but probably not for much longer) smaller than him, but to immediately know that he was…

“Yeah, no shit. I’d know that long hair and noodle limbs of yours anywhere, kid. Known you too long to be fooled. And the new kid’s really trigger happy with that lon’nife of his... You’re still the Robin I prefer, and fuck if I understand the name passing you heroes do” Mr Harrinson spoke from the back of the crowd, one hand clutching his kid’s shoulder, the other arm around…

“Braided Hair Lady?”

Eloise smiles at him, soft and warm as ever, a little shy when his eyes go to the arm hugging her close and back to her. He recognizes some of her handmade scarfs around the necks of plenty of people on the roof.

“I… wasn’t aware you all knew each other.”

A petite young teen steps forward, walking until they were shoulder-to-shoulder with the Strays.

“Most of us met through the app, and then introduced the others. There’s more, of course, but not everyone could meet here. Samantha’s baby was born just two months ago, so she chose to stay home, but we promised her pictures, so you’ll have to say cheese soon birdboy. Also, I found my name. I’m Cal.”

Allison’s smile broadened and she sneaked an arm around Cal’s waist.

“They are the new Straycat. Calico cat’s are the cutest shit ever, aren’t they?”

Well… Having someone as badass as Cal watching Tom and Alley’s back would sure make Tim feel a lot better about both kids being out in the streets.

Were they still on the streets? He’d need to find out and fix that, soon.

Then it hit him. “What app?”

Auburn-hair smiled from his place, at the front of the crowd just behind the Cats.

“Felix over there,” he pointed over his shoulder at Mr Harrinson’s son, who smiled shyly at Tim, eyes shining in gratitude and admiration like they always did when Tim did his rounds and checked on his dad, “defended you in a GothamHeroes forum once. Some bratty douchebag was complaining about you landing over his car or something and this kid went for his fucking troath.”

“I was in that chat too,” spoke Tom, smiling a little too savagely for a kid that sweet. “He tore the idiot to shreds, speaking about how you saved his dad’s life and took it upon yourself to make sure he was still okay even weeks after you met. I mentioned how you saved Alley and Mrs Denvarow, we exchanged numbers… then we met Cal during one of our rounds handing out Mrs D’s scarfs and food. They were weary of everyone else, but trusted us because they heard you talk about the clothes and baked goods... And Cal’s friend Gina worked with Samantha on the streets and told them about her story...”

“Soon, it seemed like people personally saved by you were just… popping out of the snow like daisies” Blair laughed, and it was still the loudest, brightest noise. The night seemed a little clearer, the air a little fresher for it. “Felix made his own private chat and added us, and we added everyone else we knew… The word went around about it, and more and more people joined in…”

“It’s really a wonder how you had any time to fight crime, seeing how often you were apparently comforting jumpers on the roofs” Ailbert, still as gigantic and gentle as always, raised a hand from the middle of the group. He had a little girl on his shoulders, probably the baby niece he had taken in after his sister’s death.

“Then the new kid appeared and Gotham went to hell on a basket, and no one saw you around any longer”, Elijah, wrists no more scarred than the last time he saw him, his arm tangled with Maddie’s, went on. “We were… well, we were a bit confused.”

“Speak for yourself, Cal jumped Red Hood one night, held him at knife point and demanded to know what the fuck happened to our Robin. We were like, zero chill.”

“Sorry, they did what?” Tim was definitely in the twilight zone now.

“No thoughts, head empty, only murder”

...Tim needed to give Jason a quick call. Also sign Cal up for anger management. And probably, judging by the way both Alley and Tom were looking at them, get one of the adults to give them the talk.

Mrs Eloise smiled at him, and like always it served to calm his nerves. That woman was a different kind of magic than Alfred, but magic indeed. “Anyway, dear, what matters is that we were worried about you. And then this incredible young man, Aaron,” she waved at him, and he winked one of his green eyes in response, “suggested we kept in closer contact with one another, so anyone who spotted you could inform the others.”

Aaron shrugged, his auburn mane of hair bobbing with the movement. “It just seemed like it’d be easier to have an alarm set up, since messaging everyone would take so long… and then someone suggested making a map of Gotham so we could have clearer routes for the kids handing out Mrs Denvarow’s stuff… and someone wanted a shared blackboard to write theories on where the fuck you were with others… and a few demanded a space to share photos, possible sightings or old selfies with you… It kinda spiralled and I thought it’d be less of a chaotic mess if I made an app that could do all of that, instead of all of us using multiple apps for the different fixtures everyone asked for… Since this is Gotham, we also added some Rouge Alarm for whenever a criminal was set loose. It helped keep us safe, and if we knew when crime was happening, we could pay attention to which heroes answered the call…”

“And then, you fought that firefly guy the other day”, Felix said, still by his dad’s side, still looking as awed as ever when looking at tim. “I was in the crowd, and I recognized you within a minute.”

“I don’t really understand technology that well, and the group chat was such a mess that day” Ailbert lamented, but he was still smiling. They all were.

That hit Tim then, hard.

They all looked so happy to see him. To have him back. They had been waiting for him to be back, banded together to make sure they’d all know when he did.

“You looked so sad the last time we saw you” Blair added softly, sadly. “And… when you saved Aaron, you told him about such sad things…”

Elijah winced “And I heard the Midnighter fell from Wayne Tower a few weeks ago, but then he was never seen around again, and your suit looks kinda similar, so that was probably really you… and, that fall…”

“We were very worried” repeated Eloise, but her eyes didn’t lose their warmth. “But you’re back now, and we can keep track of you and each other now, so it’s all good. It’s wonderful to have you back, love.”

This was an out of body experience.

Something must have shown on his face, because Cal snorted.

“We adore you, you dumbass. You are our hero.”

Alley smiled. “You are our Robin.”

Tim fell into her arms, and away from the roof’s edge. The rest of the crowd was upon them in seconds, all eager to pat his back or joke about the cowl hiding his hair from their hands.

He met eyes with Aaron, over Alley’s shoulder. He looked like the hope Tim had helped plant in his heart all those months ago had flowered, and the petals filled his heart.

(He was feeling poetic tonight, in the best ways)

“You should download the app too, so you always have someone to talk to. Look it up. It’s called BirdWatchers, because we’ll always look up and out for you. Because when we wanted to jump, you lended us your wings to fly instead.”

It was like this fucker wanted Tim to cry.

“Welcome home, Red Robin.”

#My writing #Tim drake #batman fanfic #red robin #trigger warning:#depression #suicide attempts #discussion of suicide #overdose #mental illness #hurt comfort #Tim doing the comfort and being the hurt #until he gets the comfort #happy ending #wholesome #I swear the tags are scary but it IS wholesome #Tim drake centric #my writting

191 notes · View notes

superspookywombat · 4 years ago

Text

falling {j.h} chapter thirteen

Taglist: @Sleepy-whore @geekysimmerthings @mauvette268 @treestarrrrrrrr @kaleigh404 @krazykatkay456 @meganlikesfandoms @darknacademia @hi-my-name-is-riley @vdtwsupernatural @selmeuuh @raindancer2004 @wondersandtempests @royale-trash-slytherin @im-hella-bright @bootylimpics @livfg @It-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes @peacemusicinch @coffeeslut16 @bvbwestfall @Actuallyedythecullen @stan-joonies @Peacebuglove @Millie-753 @Frozenhuntress67 @i-tried21 @seaevans @femflorals @arseofrivia @trashysara @vulgarfuckinvirgo @sleepysnapesnake @hey-bulldogs @mental-breaker-74 @pansexual-and-eating-pancakes @duty-isnt-always-honour @jelly-fishy-babie @carnagefuck @clubpengiunn @wondersandtempests @100-percent-loving @fandomsandmore394 @pomiotszatana @cherrybuck @alohorcruxes @accioavengerss @left-in-the-woods @galaxypox @what-if-im-the-bad-guy @daughterofanarchy997 @camillapad @babieboth @thequeerishere555 @your-average-wallflower @anxiety-station @xo-sophiemae-xo @rachthestressedbandobsessed @amordesiempre01 @avalon68 @imaginebeinlovedbyme @vampiregirl1797 @scuzmunkie @maelleoute @popwhitlockanddrop @aliinova @mikariell95 @happyfunprincess @affection-rabbit @xcharlottemikaelsonx @lavenderandwoodsmoke @generalgoldfishldrm @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @whattheheckisevengoingon @the-wandering-pan-ace @cm1126 @awkwardnesshabitat @moonxxstxr @thefandomplace @tracickles

Warnings: sad animal death (i almost cried while writing it) (it’s a bobcat), slight makeout sesh, y/n is a brat, not proofread

A/n: thank you so much for being patient, i’ve been flooded with writers block and then school also started up again so i’ve had a buttload of homework. Here’s a slightly longer chapter than usual as a thanks for the wait :)

As Emmett speeds down the interstate with Rosalie riding shotgun, you sit in the back of the Jeep with Jasper. A warm breeze blows your hair around as you watch the scenery pass.

“Who are these people again?” You ask, trying to get all of the information before meeting these strangers. Jasper absentmindedly strokes your hand while looking out at the sunset’s horizon.

“The Denali Coven. Irina, Kate, and Tanya are sisters. Carmen and Eleazar are together. They’re vegetarians too, which is why Carlisle’s sendin’ us there. He thinks it’ll help you adjust.” Jasper says. You look over at Emmett and Rosalie holding hands on the center console.

“How old are the sisters?” You ask. Jasper pauses for a moment, thinking. Before he can respond, Emmett butts in.

“Hella old.” He laughs, earning a pointed look from Rosalie.

“At least a thousand. Not sure Carlisle ever got an exact answer from ‘em.” Jasper says. You sigh, stale air exiting your lungs.

“That’s a long time to be alone.” You say quietly. You look over at Jasper, who catches your gaze. The sunset burst paints his skin like a stained glass window.

“They weren’t alone.” He says.

“You know what I mean.” You reply.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The moonlight illuminates the driveway as Emmett pulls in. A very large, very expensive looking cabin-y mansion sits nestled between two small mountains. The front door opens and your sharp sight tells you that there’s five people there, three blondes and two black-haired people. You grab your duffle bag by your feet and unload the truck with Jasper as Emmett and Rosalie go greet your hosts.

Walking over to the strangers, birds circle above you, exposing your anxiety. “Interesting.” The only man of the group says. “I’m Eleazar, this is my partner Carmen.”

“Y/n.” You say holding out your hand to shake. He grasps it strongly, and you smile up at him as the birds start to dissipate. Carmen offers you a smile and a small wave.

“I’m Kate.” The blonde with the straight hair walks towards you, enveloping you in her arms. Her smell invades your senses, but not in a bad way. Another girl next to her, a strawberry blonde, hugs you.

“I’ve heard such good things about you.” She pulls away, smiling and showing off her perfect, white teeth. “I’m Tanya. This is Irina.”

A woman with curly blonde hair smiles at you, giving your body a once-over. You’d blush, if you could. Emmett walks over with what seems to be everyone’s luggage slung from his shoulders.

“If you’re done with introductions, this guy needs some bear ASAP.” He says, a wide grin on his face.

“I’m starting to think you only visit us for the bears.” Eleazar teases. Most everyone chuckles at that, except Emmett, who is obviously hungry. Emmett sets the bags down at his feet.

“Hey! I like the meese too.” He says, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment from the teasing. Rosalie sighs.

“Meese?” You ask incredulously. Emmett looks at you like you’ve grown a third head.

“Uh, yeah. Never heard of a moose before? Come on, y/n.” He says, his eyes squinting. You look around at the group. Eleazar and Kate avoid eye contact, looking at the ground while fighting off a smile. Jasper looks away also, his hand rubbing the area above his lip to hide his. Rosalie raises an eyebrow and shifts her weight so that she’s looking at Emmett, her arms crossing over themselves. By now, Tanya, Irina, and Carmen have gone inside.

“You do know that the plural for moose is moose, right?” You ask, eyes wide. He looks at you for a second, not blinking for obvious reasons.

“Ha ha. Real funny.” He says. When no one responds, avoiding eye contact and hiding their smiles, he spreads his arms. You flinch, forgetting for a second that you’re nearly indestructible. “Wait.. really?”

You look back at Emmett. “Yes?”

Emmett looks around in disbelief. “When were you guys planning on telling me that! I’ve been sounding like an idiot this whole time?”

“I don’t think not sayin’ ‘meese’ would have changed that, Emmett.” Jasper says, his expression stoic except for the minuscule smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“We were betting on how long you’d go without realizing.” Rosalie says, then turns her head to give you a glare. “But now that’s ruined.”

“Sorry.” You say halfheartedly. She sighs again, picking up her bag and walking towards the house. Emmett follows her, giving you a wink.

“You must all be hungry.” Kate says. Jasper swallows, his adam's apple bobbing. His usually golden eyes are black, and you reach out to grab his arm lightly. He looks off into the distance. “I’ll let you guys get settled in first.”

As she walks off, you turn to look Jasper in the eyes. “Hey, you alright?” He gently shakes off your hand and reaches down for both of your duffels.

He nods. “I’m fine. Let’s get inside.” He walks ahead leaving you to trail behind him like a lost puppy. In the dark, the temperature has dropped enough that if you were still human, you’d be shivering. But now, of course, it has no effect on you.

As you follow Jasper through a large, wooden door, your jaw drops slightly as you take in your surroundings. The home is very open concept, you can only describe it as a minimalistic take on a modern rustic design. Jasper keeps walking, not at all phased by how impressive the interior is. You follow him past a very light and airy kitchen, and up some stairs that lead to an open landing that’s filled with floor to ceiling bookshelves and two heavy looking desks. You don’t have time to look any further, however, because he seems to have a one-track mind. He leads you into a guest room. It’s small (compared to the rest of the house), but the decor is light and minimalistic, leaving the room feeling not at all constricting. As you sit down on the bed, Eleazar greets you and leans against the door frame, Carmen standing behind him.

“I hope it’s okay that you two are sharing a bed.” He says, raising his eyebrows slightly. You glance at Jasper, who’s aggressively unpacking some of the items you brought along. As vampires don’t sleep, you obviously don’t need a bed. You guess that he’s cryptically asking about your relationship. Nonetheless, you respond.

You gasp, feigning shock. “Before marriage? How scandalous!” Eleazar looks alarmed, his eyes darting over to check Carmen’s reaction. He opens his mouth, most likely to backtrack and offer you another place to sleep, but you beat him to it. “I’m kidding. This is perfect.”

“Oh.” He says, a nervous laugh following soon after. He then leads Carmen away, closing the door behind him.

“I think I scared him off.” You say, sighing. Jasper is now standing, lightly shaking a box you brought to presumably check the contents.

“Mhm.” He answers, disinterested. You look at him, examining the light frown on his face.

“What’s your deal?” You ask, annoyed. His eyes flicker to you, alarmed, almost as if he’s surprised you called him out. He turns away from you, placing the box onto a dresser. You pull your legs criss-cross and lean forward, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Did I do something? I’m sorry.”

He glances at you before turning back around. “It’s not you,” He says, taking a pause. “It’s.. Irina.”

“What about her?” You ask, wondering if there’s a point to this. “She seems friendly enough to me.”

“That’s the problem.” He says through a clenched jaw. As you watch his knuckles tighten on the corners of the dresser, it dawns on you.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous..” You say with a breathy chuckle. He turns to look back at you, his eyes narrowed.

“It’s not funny.” He scolds, his southern accent poking through. Your eyes widen, then you double over in laughter. He watches you, perplexed. As you continue to laugh, he looks back at the wall in embarrassment. You calm yourself and walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his hard waist and placing your head between his shoulder blades. He tenses.

“Relax, Jazz. I like you. And even if I didn’t, I’m still stuck with you forever. Literally.” You reassure, also teasing him. His shoulders droop a little, and you press a kiss to his toned back.

“That’s not funny.” He says, but you know he’s not serious.

“Yes it is.” You reply. His body shakes as he chuckles. He turns around, your arms still pulling him close to you. He tilts your chin up with his pointer and middle finger, the rest of his hand cupping your jaw. His thumb caresses your bottom lip so lightly that you barely feel it. You close your eyes as he leans in and kisses you. You smile against his lips as he pulls you closer, your chest touching his. His other hand cradles the back of your head, and your hands find themselves exploring the firm skin on his abdomen. Your fingers brush over raised, puckered scars, forcing a gentle growl to rise from his throat.

“Hey- Woah.” You hear as the door swings open. Instinctively, you place your hands on Jasper’s chest and push. He flies into the wall, a resounding ‘thump’ vibrating through the floor and into your feet. He re-steadies himself as you both look over to see Emmett standing in the doorway. “Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to come with us on a hunt, but,” He glances at you and you brush your fingers through your hair, making it look nice again. “If you’re busy..”

“We’ll be downstairs in a minute.” Jasper says, smoothing his shirt and readjusting his jeans. Emmett raises his eyebrows, then leaves. You look down at your feet, feeling like a misbehaving child. You hear the bed groan as Jasper sits down on it. You swiftly walk over to your duffel bag, grabbing one of the few outfits you brought with. You grab the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, pulling the item over your head. After your view is unobstructed again, you look at Jasper, who is trying to look at literally anything but your chest, only clad in a bra.

“W-What’re you doin’, darlin’?” He stutters.

“Changing into something that can get blood on it?” You answer, raising an eyebrow at him as you unbutton and then shimmy out of your pants.

He puts a hand up, shielding you from his eyes. “I s-should go see if Eleazar needs any help..”

“You should?” You tease seductively, bending over to pick up a pair of shorts, giving him a direct look at your cleavage. You pull them on, then climb onto his lap, straddling him. “Eleazar’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

“I suppose you do have a point..” He says, trailing off as his eyes flicker down to your breasts.

“Though maybe you’re right.” You sigh, pecking him on the lips. “You should go and help, be a good guest or whatever.”

He looks dazed, confused by your sudden dismissal. “But.. I- y/n..” He stutters. You pat him on the cheek, then you slide off of his lap and grab a t-shirt from the duffel. Sliding it over your head, you exit the room and bound down the stairs, leaving Jasper by himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“So we’ll split up, Kate and I will go with Jasper and y/n,” Tanya says, standing in the living room. “Irina will go with Emmett, Rose, Carmen, and Eleazar.”

“Great.” Rosalie says. “Can we go now?”

“As soon as Jasper gets down here.” Carmen says, glancing over at you. Rosalie rolls her eyes.

“Why do we have to wait?” Kate asks Tanya. Rosalie listens carefully, anticipating an answer.

“We’re doing a competition. One team versus the other, we’ll see who gets more catches.” Tanya replies. Emmett rubs his hands together.

“Nothing like a little friendly competition..” He says excitedly. Eleazar nods, a small smile looking out of place on his usually stoic face. A familiar scent wafts down the stairs, and you look over to see Jasper.

“Nice of you to finally join us.” Rosalie sighs. You look to the ground, smiling at yourself. Jasper walks over to you, snaking a hand around your waist and pulling you close. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Irina stiffen. Emmett gives you a thumbs up, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“What do the winners get?” Kate asks.

“Is your thirst being satisfied not enough for you?” Tanya asks. Kate narrows her eyes at her sister. “Fine. Winners get to know that they’re better hunters than everyone else. Better?”

“That’s not fair! They have y/n- She basically controls animal minds!” Emmett whines. You smile, trying to ignore the guilt that settles in your stomach.

“You guys have an extra person. Some could argue that that makes us even.” Kate retorts. Tanya sighs, rubbing her forehead.

“Can we start now?” Carmen asks. Tanya nods, and everyone follows her out into the front yard. “3.. 2.. 1.. Go!”

Everyone springs up from a crouching position. You follow Jasper into the trees, the forestry whizzing past you. So many sounds and scents flood your mind, like the thrum of a squirrel’s heart, and the scent of a grizzly bear a half mile away. Jasper seems to have read your mind, and he runs off to find the bear, presumably just to tease Emmett. As he speeds off to find the bear, something halts you in your place. You skid to a stop, feet tearing into the moist forest floor. An unknown feeling tugs at your chest, and you take a step backwards. The feeling gets stronger, and you try to trace it back to the source.

When you walk into a small clearing, you see a red fox baring its teeth at a large bobcat, standing its ground in front of a den. You clap your hands, trying to scare the large cat off. It barely acknowledges you, and you walk over to the pair, physically putting yourself in between them. The bobcat advances, assuming you as an easy target. It lunges, and you meet it mid-air. You tackle it to the ground, its head hitting a rock. You can hear its skull crack, and immediately you scramble back, your fingers digging into the ground. Its pained whimpers flood your ears, and your face scrunches up.

“Oh god. What did I do?” You say, chest heaving. You crawl to the bobcat, cradling its head in your lap. Your hands shake as you place them around its neck and twist, a sickening ‘crack’ on replay in your mind. You look down at your hands that are now covered in blood, and you shiver as your instincts take over. You swoop down and sink your teeth into the now deceased bobcat’s neck, and a warm, syrupy metallic taste invades your taste buds. You can feel your stomach getting fuller and fuller until you physically can’t drink anymore. You snap out of your daze, and stare at the carcass pulled into your lap. Pushing it gently off of you, you brush your fingers through its fur, mostly slick with spilled blood. You close its eyes. Something at the edge of the clearing catches your eye- a much smaller bobcat watching you. Anguish overcomes you, radiating off of the small animal in tsunami sized waves. The fox now long gone, the bobcat slowly approaches. It comes closer and closer until it's sniffing at the bigger bobcats carcass. Then, it closes its eyes, nuzzling under its mother’s chin. Overwhelmed with grief and guilt, a whimper bubbles up from your throat. Dry sobs wrack your body as you enter a tear-less crying fit, watching the baby try to wake its dead mother. You smack the side of your head, trying to stop crying and force a clear head, but you only want to do one thing. Run.

Wind whips your hair around as you run, pushing yourself to go faster and faster. Before you realize it, your foot snags on a tree root, and you fly face first into some bushes. You sit up, pulling your knees to your chest as you spit out dirt and debris. The moon disappears from the night sky as you calm yourself. Soft footsteps approach you from behind, and not a second later, Jasper is sitting next to you, pulling you into his arms. He doesn’t say anything, he can put two and two together by seeing your blood soaked hands and clothes. He can feel what you're feeling. The two of you sit in silence, watching the sun rise as the warm colors causes your iridescent skin to glisten.

#jasper hale #jasperhale #jasper hale x reader #twilight x reader #twilight #Emmett Cullen #emmettcullen #rosaliehale #Rosalie Hale

144 notes · View notes

smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

Text

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

10 notes · View notes

fruitylibrarian · 3 years ago

Text

quest of the spear live rewatch!

i already spewed my pre call to adventure flynn thoughts all over a text post but I would like to repeat: pre-canon flynn my beloved <3

yes he is a bit of a bastard but he just loves his books and he’s so genuinely just like. passionate and like…. Big? does that make sense? like i mean inside. not literally. bright

flynn’s mom is so fucking funny

and she’s Trying Her Best

you know one thing I don’t understand, I assume that flynn could afford to keep going to college because of like grants and scholarships since he’s all smart and like, even if his mom is well off, no one below the morally bankrupt millionaire line can pay for 22 degrees and not die of no-money-itis otherwise known as Starving

but like. why not become a professor or some other academia position?

you’d be incredibly overqualified and you’re a white dude, so while academia isn’t exactly bursting with new spaces to fill I’m sure you could find something???? and like. a professor in particular, while baby flynn might not be great at the connection part, seems like a natural progression to at least try for considering it keeps you in that comfort zone and familiar space just in a different albeit familiar role, and allows you to go on long lectures people can’t interrupt. and like, professors literally like, part of their job is research and to continue learning, so like. it seems like the natural choice for him to go for?

don’t get me wrong, baby flynn in particular might not be extremely well suited considering his lack of people skills, but plenty of professors are brilliant slightly odd smarties who give long, super engaging theatrical lectures (sounds like him!) but suck at one on one meetings and talking to people or may be accidentally insulting, but like, their class is genuinely interesting and they grade decently so like, I think he could get past that hurdle is what I’m saying

obviously he’d have to work at it and get the skills necessary but you know what that means? MORE SCHOOL, BABY! just in a different direction! like just? it seems like the obvious choice for his situation

ah yes!!! magic letter!!! it’s kind of funny they do this, it’s a great hook and way to make applicants go Uh Excuse Me and want to know more but also like, there’s no proof magic happened either?

although you’d think some people would get obsessive like let me tell you if i encountered real ass magic like that i wouldn’t stop until i had an answer

ah the Incredibly Long Interview Line. it’s kinda how funny how like. Not Special he is but at the same time he is?

“never been treated so badly in my entire life!” what did you say to him charlene

i’m sure he deserved it i just want to know

wait oh no i just realized

all these people are dead

every single one of them got murdered in the first episode of the series

jesus that’s dark

not gonna be able to stop thinking about that one huh

also love how it’s pretty evenly men and women

although it’s still mostly white

fuck that lady just left crying I know they’re doing this to turn up the drama but DAMN, charlene

god he almost gave up. remember the timeline episode where he never became the librarian? weird.

Gkjlfkgjhfglh Where Do You Think You’re Going? (weak gesture like “me?”) Yes You. Get In Here amazing how can she even see him she’s around the CORNER. camera? magical surveillance? why? just to freak people out? amazing.

i do so love charlene, it’s a shame she wasn’t in the show more

also she literally never explains shit. What Makes You Think You Can Be The Librarian he doesn’t even know what that means, charlene

He Doesn’t Even Have A Library Science Degree

oh wow he does actually have librarian qualifications lmao

why did i not remember that

DLKFGJDFG I did remember him sherlocking her tho

wait her MARRIAGE? to WHO?

i thought her and judson were a thing despite jenkins being into her or something?

huh

also why does this qualify him to be The Librarian™ like oh he can sherlock? ok?

maybe it’s just bc he had the balls to do it

well, the sherlock thing is also not completely unhelpful it just doesn’t seem central to his skills, or at least, not the way he uses it (do we see him use it like this again? he usually applies more obscure knowledge then ye classic deduction sherlockian skills if I remember correctly which I may not because my brain is smooth)

judson is such a fucking drama queen

LKDJFGLKDJFGLDKFJG I FUCKING FORGOT HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING REPEATED HIS MOM’S LITTLE PHRASE AMAZING

also why did he seem to think her sending everyone home meant he didn’t get it why would she stop all interviews because you fucked up

he just fucking walked out of a wall judson you are so dramatic

also warehouse 13 vibes huh. welcome to a world of endless wonder

I could do a whole fucking thesis on warehouse 13 and the librarians or—well that’s a whole other tangent

anYWYA

this interview was remarkably easy tho, it’s not like he wasn’t impressive but it wasn’t mindblowing either????? this coming from a big fan of flynn

the big shiny wonderous eyes as the library lights up……flynn my beloved

also his floofy hair ldkfgjdlkfgj

he’s like this is too good am I being prank’d

why the mona lisa?????iIs the mona lisa magic??? It only became famous because it got stolen why would it be magic??? Is this one of those we make it magic by believing it or some shit things???

Flynn Do Not Open The Random Box In The Library Of Incredibly Dangerous Artifacts

oh hello excalibur !!

oh rip flynn immediately being like “oh im not worthy, trust me” with 100 percent certainty im hurt oof

KSJFLGKDJGLKDJG THE APPLE “the apple from the garden of eden…….” *judson takes a bite* “actually I just left this here”

excalibur hello properly!!!!

judson is such a fucking DRAMA QUEEN he’s so casual!! and cal you too you slippery bitch!

ah the jetpack.

DLFKGJDLKFGJ “it usually takes a new librarian four hours to find the jetpack. you did it in three! congratulations” love the implication that every librarian (at least since it was added to the library) has done this no matter how serious like the bad guy of this movie… *checks notes* edware wilde? jetpack. darrington dare, probably? jetpack. i like to think jenkins did it too (not technically a librarian, but you know)

flynn thinking of himself as embarrassing… ☹

HIS MOM IS SO PROUD OF HIM

part sweet, part funny, part rip

I don’t know what she was expecting when he said librarian tho like. originally he literally looked at shit for FRY COOk degrees don’t always mean shit you know

and librarian is up there with professor in Perfect Jobs For Flynn like what did you expect??? Like even if he’d become an archaeologist (a “cool” job) it’s not like that pays super well either as far as I know??

he was never going to be Traditionally Successful

he’s still the same person he still has the same strengths and passions of course he would go into academia and do something like librarian like????? her reaction saddens me.

just be happy for him!! look at him!!!

ok first of all even normal non magic librarians don’t just put books on shelves and that’s a condescending reduction of the job, and second of all, he is so happy!! he has a job, he’s taking responsibility, he’s meeting people, isn’t that enough??? isn’t that literally what you wanted??? even if it WERE what you think it is why couldn’t it just be a good first step??? like??? fuck??? you did been know that he was doing all those fancy degrees because he loved them not because they’d get him some super fancy job??? I mean egyptology is not the most profitable field you know this isn’t med school or whatever

god.

flynn’s mom, visibly not proud and very upset: of course im proud of you!

ok im being a little unfair, she’s trying and clearly she’s been supportive of him, if not straight up enabling of him, but like this is clearly being presented as like. normal person who is normal forced to take care of freakish strange son who is so nerdy and strange and a loser and she is so tired of his shenanigans and all that WORK she put in and he’s NOT FANCY AND CHANGING TO CONFORM TO HER IDEALS OF A GOOD SUCCESSFUL SON/MAN?

and that’s just all very. sigh.

the snake brotherhood are such obnoxiously cheesy villainous villains they’re even called the snake brotherhood

also I think we’re supposed to recognize him as the previous librarian from the painting but if I didn’t already know that I for sure would not know that

smartass flynn is a smartass

I never got people bringing someone coffee to impress them unless they knew their order like there’s no way you know who she likes her coffee so you could so easily get it wrong—like even if you don’t know exactly how much sugar she wants, you could also just get it entirely wrong like assume she likes black coffee but she likes it super sweet, or vice versa, or whatever. it can go wrong so easily!

or she could go “I Hate A Kiss Ass”

she did take it anyway tho so.

ah i did forget (or just not actively think about) how much like… christian mythology there is in this show :/ I mean we did been knew (excalibur and arthurian legend are pretty important to the mythology)

not that christian mythology is inherently bad it just gets a) annoying, b) boring, and c) y’know, very western centric and all

but then trying to reconcile di—you know what that’s a tangent for another time

then again I do assume no one is going to read this

the library really does just throw new librarians into death and go “hope this is fine!” huh

did they just imply god is canon in the “the librarian” universe

you were so cryptic with the no one thing!! just say NOONE

he’s scribbling in his notebook and mumbling out loud what a mood and I love him. what a nerd

ldfkgjdlkjg god sexy jazz music and a breeze this is so dumb

I do hate the forced love interests in all these movies it’s always like Some Hot Girl Is There And They Get It On!

like he really had chemistry with eve and banter but here it kinda feels like that wish fulfilment and then the nerd gets the hot chick the end and im saying that as the nerd

it doesn’t help that each movie has a different one who immediately is dropped as if she never existed afterwards

maybe it’s not as bad as I remember but. sigh

my instant impression of her is to not like her sorry nicole :/

she’s just so rude? she’s like. hot (derogatory)

i get there’s gender politics here with like. she’s used to being treated like a piece of meat and generally like, why not reap the benefits when you are going to get the creeps too, but like, also she’s just so unnecessarily rude—I mean rejecting his clumsy flirting is one thing but you know—ok I won’t even get into that the point is I just don’t really like her that much even tho I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad person or anything you know

but to be fair I think she got better and I remember her being compelling in her return to the show

and like. I do like how the trend in this franchise is “smart little nerd librarian and badass lady guardian kicks ass” but I do wish that it turned around occasionally. we do get cassandra but like. more lady librarians

wow an air marshal? aren’t they rarely even on flights?

sorry im being nitpicky there for sure lmao. please delete the cinamasins ding my words probably summoned from your brain

I get why shoving him out was necessary but also Wow

Gjklhkjfgh imagine sitting next to some mumbling nerd the whole flight and then you see him fly past the windows

LFKGJDLKJDFG he brilliantly lowers our expectations then jumps without a chute! remarkable!

hilarious or commentary on men getting credit for womens’ competency? why not both

i really thought that she was going to be a lying liar the first time I watched this

ah naïve boy. “uh that’s against the law”

flynn’s greatest strength isn’t just his knowledge but his like. breadth of different topics, just like, passion for learning of any time, and like. the ability to not just know a lot of different things but cross-reference and apply them to each other and use them in tandem to understand a greater whole

and we love that for him!

ah flynn therapizing himself lmao

why would she take him going “this bridge is rotting and physically cant support our weight” as a challenge

or him being cowardly like THE STRUCTURAL SUPPORTS ARE ROTTING

YEAH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT OF COURSE HE FUCKING FELL

ok i lied i like nicole i just don’t love their dynamic

i get what they’re going for i just. not my thing

like with eve there was still a clear mutual respect? i guess? idk

maybe it’s just because i’m more sensitive to mean banter? i don’t like mean banter, even when it’s like, def 100 percent well meaning and not mean spirited and no one is actually offended or hurt

although despite not liking their Thing I do a) think it’s very cute how he looks at her, b) their vibe as they start to get to know each other is Better, c) the end of the movie scene where she rides in for maximum drama? now that was good shit.

oh he’s sherlocking her in a shy attempt to impress her but it’s only going to piss her off, right?

oh she’s just sherlocking him back

KSGFJLDKFGJ LMAO “nerd” and that’s it. fair

Cutting Off His Head damn that’s hardcore

hmmmm cringe,

and more cringe

and cringe.

her waking up to him gone right after telling that story about waking up to her librarian gone and then killed—oof

love the serpent brotherhood lady being like wow!! he’s SO COMPETENT!! (cuts to him screaming)

do these ancient traps just have infinite arrows?

also I do love the whole waltzing across trope what can I say im a sucker

DFLKGLDKFGJLDKJG fucking CHUCKS SOMETHING AT IT and immediately where he would be standing is crushed by a huge rock amazing

he literally just chucked a rock at it and it fell over

ah the classic “let the hero get it for us” move

oh there he is! rip

why does he look like macpherson

not really but kind of

also contrast between the lady always being like “omg the librarian is so smart” and him assuming nicole is the one who did the smart thing

“your tears were perfect” how much more of an asshole can you get

They really could have played him as more sympathetic—“oh, we’re always around these powerful artifacts but we never use them for good! I had to do it, I was sick of sitting back and doing nothing” or like “all those years of danger and guarding powerful things and what good did it ever do me? what do I get for my service?” or anything but nah hes just like “mm power good babes. anyway I love sex and being mean”

to be fair flynn he was the librarian too—a real librarian? I mean yeah edward was corrupted and ultimately failed his duties but he had to have been qualified and actually got the job for a reason

flynn I know you think you sound badass but you really don’t

god not shangri-la again. everything the show did with that was. Bad. yikes

why is—god, I should really learn her name [checks notes] lana fangirling so much?

also following the lamia tradition of “serpent brotherhood second in command who is more interesting than the main evil white guy and also a pretty woc” huh

never got like “this is literally impossible” “well do it or I [generic bad guy threat]” like usually that means nothing lmao

LDFKGJLDKFJLDKFGJ ok first of all god is me? bitch?

second of all. me in english? on this fucking ancient very much not english thing? I mean I guess a) it might not be literal, even though he did say “m, e” by letters, b) it is a christian myth so maybe planted later??? but like?????

dude. giving the super powerful artifact to your prisoner? bad idea. if you’re worried about booby traps have a minion do it.

oh yes your gun is so scary in the face of a temple collapsing

why do heroes always think the whatever is safer with them than the temple that’s guarded it for a thousand years

I get it’s been discovered but like. fuck. still

You Are Going To Crash This Helicopter

SLKGJ HORRIBLE HIGH VELOCITY PIE OF DEATH

flynn and judson…..wholesome

oh here comes more forced romance

just let them be friends who grow to mutually respect each other blease

it is very fucking funny that the mom is like ….. oh my god…. oh my god,,, a WOMAN AJUST ANSEWREDM Y SDONGS PHONE?????????OH MY GOFD?????

he is bisexual. but it’s good he’s getting out

ah floofy hair

cahooting,

Yes You Do Need Clothes

that’s a teleporter sir

god eddie wild is such a boring fucking villain and person

and his plan SUCKS

also the serpent brotherhood (why BROTHERhood?) sucks and hates the library why would they just let this guy, a librarian, literally be their new leader

wow he just stabbed a guy on his OWN TEAM for no reason

great going asshole

love how lana is just like…. O-O

we stan lana. she hasn’t done much and she’s technically a bad guy i just love her

“at last we can be one” what does that even mean

why would lana or any of them want to help him he just killed one of their own for no reason hes clearly tripping on power and leaving yall to die

lfkgjdlkfgj flynn dodging so hard while the others is fight and then PUNCHING A GUY

dfglkjdflgkj wait it’s the professor dude why is that so funny

is he WITH THEM??? I think I just missed something

hold on a sec

yeah I think he just appears??? And flynn just fucking broke his nose iconic

wait so was he with them or is he just here going WHY ARE THERE RANDOM PEOPLE IN MY PYRAMID????????????

oh right he built the—ok I got it

Wait what

I mean I did think lana was neat and she seemed impressed with flynn but what shes just like, in love with him now? that makes zero fucking sense why would she want them to Be Together

Is it just so there can be a catfight between the two hot chicks?

seriously tho? morally pure blonde blue eyed girl versus Evil Asian Chick? really?

for the record NOT THAT IT MATTERS but lana is way cuter im just saying

ah badass judson

THE COMEDY OF THE CAPSTONE CRUSHING HIM DLFKGJDLKFGJ

oh………….pulling out excalibur…. predicable but so good

oh the painting….the very Parenty way of revealing it…… wholesome

oh did NOT like that transition

oh here comes the badass fucking entrance with his gf busting in on his mom trying to set him up with girls

HER ENTRANCE IS SO UNNECESSARAILY DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM

I just love the mom’s face ldfkgjldfkgjdlkfgjdlkfjgd shes like WHAT THEGUFVCJK

again I don’t love the vibes of “oh my weird loser son is finally normal!” but to be fair im exaggerating a bit from just facial expressions it’s just. sigh

but ngl the vindication of him being able to be like. yeah that’s right im a badass now and my gf is cool as fuck is still good

him and nicole do have not terrible vibes at the end but if I remember correctly that mission (time travelling ninjas and hg wells’s time machine) is the one that separated them so rip I guess

overall: good movie! as cringe as I remember but I still love flynn so much

#flynn carsen #the librarian: quest for the spear #going to bed now. perhaps the others tomorrow

6 notes · View notes

taejeonie · 5 years ago

Text

what if markhee dated...

— for anon, hope u like it <3

hmm

i think mark developed feelings for taehee during superhuman era

and the fact that they had that verse together doesn’t make it any better

yes i won’t shut up about that verse

i feel like he would be kinda obvious to johnny

johnny would force it out of him just for the fun of it

then would tease him about it

but then they get serious like, “you know you might.....just be careful, okay?”

“i know hyung,,it’s just a crush anyways”

wrong

mark still had feelings for taehee come kick it era

surprisingly mark was able to hide it well

there were moments where mark would be a teensy tiny bit,,,,

jealous

since taehee hung out with hyuck more during that time

“taehee”

“hm?”

“do you,,,,do you want to eat tofu with me?”

“sure, let me go and ask haechanie”

and mark’s like : “wHy dOeS sHe hAvE tO aSk hIm iT’S nOt LikE tHeY’Re dAtInG >:(((“

“why are you jealous? it’s not like you’re dating either-“

“JOHNNY HYUNG”

did he just say that out loud? he did.

and then he hears a gasp

AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND HE WAS SCARED BC HE THOUGHT IT WAS TAEHEE

but then it’s just hyuck

“who’s dating who?”

and then he creeps up to mark while mark attempts to push him away

“you love me, don’t you hyung? why would you date someone else that’s not me (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)”

“it’s not like that-“

hyuck suddenly pulls away from him, “oh my god....”

“‘oh my god’ what?”

“don’t tell me,,,,don’t tell me you like me in that way”

mark winces, “oh god, please no”

but then at the same time, johnny goes, “he likes taehee not you”

“YOU LIKE NOONA”

“SHHHHHH”

“hyung,,you know that’s not allowed right-“

“i know”

“THEN YOU CAN DATE IN SECRET!!!”

“haechan, no-“

“THIS IS GONNA BE THRILLING!! don’t you want that hyung?”

“that does sound tempting,” johnny agrees with him

“i’d like to focus on work more, thanks”

“loser.”

“you’re a loser.”

a door shuts close causing hyuck to playfully wiggle his eyebrows at mark, making the latter shove him to the floor

and now hyuck’s on the floor being dramatic

“jOHNNY HYUNG .°(ಗдಗ。)°.”

“i asked jungwoo oppa but he’s asleep- woah what happened”

“MARK HYUNG PUSHED ME”

“mmARK THATS NOT VERY NICE”

she helps hyuck up from the floor and fixes his clothes, “u okay?”

“yes, thank you noonaaaaaa (*´꒳`*)”

“is johnny oppa coming?”

“i’m kinda tired, you guys can go”

“oKAYY LETS GO!!”

taehee grabe hyuck’s arm and leads him out

the whole time mark was like :OO

so hyuck sticks his tongue out at him

brat

anyways

about taehee

hmm i think she didn’t like mark as much as he did at first

i mean she found jungwoo handsome she wouldn’t mind dating him

but she wouldn’t mind dating mark either

she wasn’t exactly thinking about dating anyone

in short, she doesn’t dwell much on the members to the point she would think if she wanted to date them or not

but yes she would date mark

they were doing a vlive in the waiting room after performing “kick it”

“manager hyung told me not to open vlive but i did” - taeyong, leader

taehee was being her free self as she was explaining what went down when she and jaehyun were playing games

“but then we had to get this thing bc it adds to our points bUT JAEHYUN OPPA-“

“taehee noona, someone said you should date mark hyung”

i swear mark was about to kill hyuck right then and there

“later, okay anyways-“

and you could see at the very corner

hyuck has his fist in his mouth like :OO

while mark becomes flustered again

but the members don’t really notice just mark, haechan, and johnny

so then later on taehee was lying down on her bed

thinking about everything that went down that day

and then she started to think about what it would be like dating mark

and by think i mean think

and then suddenly she was like, “oh,,,,i like,,,mark”

“okay”

she didn’t tell anyone

i don’t think any of them would notice tbh

when she had her episodes after promotions they noticed that mark would be one of the people to really really make her smile and cheer her up

so when she was fine again her mind drifted to her and mark

i mean she knew it wasn’t allowed but,,,she’s willing to try it out

but then she started overthinking about what if it went awkward between them what would happen to the group will they kick her out would the fans hate her would it make mark her ex-best friend what if what if what if

she feels the bed dip beside her and two arms wrap around her frame

“noonaAaaAaAaAa”

“what”

“i’m boreddddd”

“i’m tired, go somewhere else”

“you aren’t,,,you were smiling. why were you smiling”

“nothing go away”

“were you thinking about hyung?”

“ew no why would i think about mark”

“AHHHH I DIDNT SAY ANY NAME BUT YOU DID HAHAHHA”

“ ( O.O ) what no-“

she tries to push him off the bed but hyuck’s arms had her secured

“if you’re not gonna let go then sleep with me. i’m going to sleep”

“ahh noona, mark hyung would be jealous if he saw us like this”

“shut up. i’m gonna sleep”

taehee couldn’t sleep bc hyuck was so,,,cryptic

so taehee tried to test out the waters with mark

and how, you might say?

pickup lines!!!! (*^_^*)

attempt one

“mark?”

“what?”

“are you asthma? because you take my breath away ;)))”

“w-what”

taehee: :((

second attempt

“mark i think something’s wrong with my phone”

“what? let me see”

“i don’t have your number on it”

“i thought I already gave you my number?”

“noona i think that was pretty dumb” “shut up haechan”

attempt tres

“mark, i may not be ariana grande but i’m so into you”

“oKAYYYYY CUT!”

“what we’re not even-“

attempt #938274929482939

to markly <3: mark mark mark mark mark mark

from markly <3: you’re right next to me

from markly <3: why are we texting?

to markly <3: because it’s more fun

to markly <3: okay. you have to complete the lyrics okay?

from markly <3: ... okay

to markly <3: are we an item? girl quit playin’

to markly <3: “we’re just friends”, what are you sayin?

to markly <3: your turn

from mark <3: said there's another, look right in my eyes

from markly <3: my first love broke my heart for the first time

to markly <3: and i was like baby baby oh

from markly <3: you forgot one

to markly <3: one what?

from markly <3: baby

to markly <3: yes?

from markly <3: you forgot one baby. there’s three baby’s

“OH MY GOD”

“WHATS WRONG”

“IM GOING TO HAECHAN’S ROOM”

“WHAT-“

while in haechan’s room

“HE IS SO DENSE”

“oh is that what you were doing?”

“SEE?? EVEN YOU KNOW”

“noona, everyone knows your naturally like that. you should just go for it”

“how???”

“kiss him,,,,on the lips”

*proceeds to make kissy noises*

“that’s too bold i’m not doing that”

haechan shrugs in return, “fine. your choice anyways”

“ugh let’s just play this game”

“if i win you need to kiss mark hyung tomorrow”

“never mind”

“pleaseeeeee”

“no”

“pleaseeeee??? for me??”

“i said no, just play your game”

“bUT IM SO TIRED OF MARK HYUNG TALKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME”

“HEY WHAT’S SO WRONG ABOUT THAT”

“IT’S DISGUSTING”

....

“ffff....fffine-“

“YES!!!”

“but we’re playing what i want to play.....easy mode”

“whatever you want noonaaaa (＾＿＾)”

she lost

so now she’s in her room with mark

hyuck locked the door from the outside for extra measure

but they don’t know that

“mark lee,”

“yes joanie?”

“jdjsjdhsjd you’re making this harder for me?”

“what??? are you talking about???”

she huffs before grabbing mark’s hand and pulling him up to sit straight on his bed

“do you watch haikyuu?”

“only a few episodes. wh-“

“because i laikyuu....”

“.........”

mark is flushed but he’s has too

k e e p c a l m

and teehee has her bottom lip in between her teeth cause she’s sO nervous this would never work

and mark finds this even more cUTE HE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE IN

tbh i think mark kinda had an idea of what teehee was doing,,,he just kept on denying it

“you should tell that to yuta hyung. he’ll like it.”

“it’s for you, stupid”

“what”

“you’re so dense sometimes, geez. i like you a lot lot and if you still won’t get it through your frickin cute head i will literally explode”

“oh....wow”

“....’wow’ what?”

“cause i kinda....like you too”

and now they’re both just smiling at each other until they just break and laugh

“so uhh....what now?”

“then we date! duh,,,,unlessyoudontwanttoitsfine”

“no not like that, i mean how are we gonna do this? are the others gonna know? do you want to date outside bc i’m not sure if we can go out-“

“we don’t,,have to tell the others. and it’s fine we can stay here,,,”

she brings her face closer to mark’s before cutely saying, “as long as i’m with youuuuuuu”

“ahhh stop it”

“but i’m your girlfriend now!!!”

“oh?”

“y-yes ‘oh’! why you don’t want to? fine.”

taehee stands up but mark quickly grabs her hand and pulls her down until they’re both lying on the bed

“what are you doing?”

“i’m spending time with my girlfriend? what are you doing?”

taehee playfully rolls her eyes and proceeds to bury her face in mark’s neck

“okay.....”

she feels mark smile

“boyfriend.”

THEY’RE A COUPLE NOW YAY

okay so the people who only knew about their relationship were hyuck and johnny

they were very sweet

very clingy off-cam

“where’s my goodnight kiss?”

“oh my god mARK I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE THAT TYPE”

instead of calling each other by their names or like

“dUUUUUUDE!”

there’s the occasional “baby” hhhhh

“baby, come here”

“mark....”

“do you,,,do you not like it”

“no it just,,sounds nice i guess”

hehehe

so taehee would call him baby too

“BABYYY I MISSED YOU MWAHH”

“EW NOONA DO IT IN YOUR OWN ROOM AND NOT WHEN IM AROUND THATS DISGUSTING”

but they’re professional during work dw,,they still had to prepare for “punch”

while taeil, jungwoo, and mark did the relay live

taehee came in and the fans noticed how mark’s eyes lit up

markhee stans are thriving

“are you doing vlive?”

mark stays quiet as he continues to stare at her with a smile on his face

awe i want a mark now :((

“yeah say ‘hi’”

taehee, off cam: “czennie hellooooo”

“why won’t you show your face?,” taeil asked

“i just woke up from my nap”

“oh did we wake you?,” jungwoo asks

at the same time mark mumbles, “you’re still pretty anyway”

but they all heard that oop

“jungwoo-oppa. i. am. fINEEEE,” she says cutely, “you guys weren’t loud”

“do you want a bite?,” jungwoo asks

taehee moves to his side of the table but mark stops her

“wait wait! come here”

taehee comes into the frame so mark could feed her with his chopsticks

“is it good?”

“mhmm”

c u t e

markhee stans keep getting fed without realizing

now markhee’s just being plain obvious with the next vlive we’re just friends my ass

the one with mark, jungwoo, and taehee

taehee sat in between the two boys and she kept patting mark’s hair

tHeY sEEm To bE vErY gOOd FrIEnDS

when mark imitated yuta saying ‘really?’

she couldn’t help but laugh and squish his cheeks together

“cUTE!!!!”

mark pried her hands off his face and casually, discreetly clasped her hands in his and put their hands atop of her knee

jungwoo’s third wheeling unknowingly i’m so sorry sweetie

taehee.exe has stopped working

and mark smirks in response

when that beep called tHEY WERE BOTH LIVID

later on, another beep kept on spamming teehee’s phone with calls and texts that mark had to put it on silent and slide it in his pocket

teehee protection squad

they went to the dream’s mv set to bring them food

“MY PARENTS!! THEY BROUGHT US FOOD”

“sHSHHSHSH none of them are supposed to know”

“mark hung danced to ‘boom’ already. you don't have to be anonymous anymore”

lol remember dohyuck in their uncut take #3?

well you have another one coming from markhee when they did that yt live to spoil punch’s choreo

hyuck noticed it while he was talking to the camera and his eyes went wide for a split second before proceeding to cover them with his head

he tried to hold in his laughs

ever since then, there were fans who were suspicious

but majority of them just said all the members are like that

“they seem to be very good friends”

i think the other members would be sus too but they won't dwell on it,,,that much

overall, markhee would be the cheesy yet cute couple hyuck and johnny adore!! it’s like being best friends but now they get to hug and cuddle and kiss whenever they want (behind cameras and other people of course). in all honesty, if their relationship doesn't go south, i guess you could say they are each others’ first and last. <3

will dispatch catch them? most likely not.

will they ever reveal their relationship? who knows.

hyuck and johnny’s tip: “don’t let the managers know or else we’ll have to change roommates.”

67 notes · View notes

taexual · 5 years ago

Text

HOLIC - 49 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: angst (ONE LAST TIME, LET’S GO)

words: 4.7k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

prev / next

Jaebum watched you for a while after you asked the question, the echo of your voice ringing inside of his mind. Seeing you after nearly a week was too overwhelming. He couldn’t focus on just one emotion that he was feeling and the urge he had to cross the room and approach you overpowered everything else.

“I don’t—” he tried, resisting his own heart in order to remain true to his mind. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

But even despite what he said, he remained frozen in the same spot, not closing the door and not walking away from you.

“Please,” you said, the stinging pain in your heart translating itself into words, “I need you to know what really happened. I’m not—I don’t want you to immediately forgive me and move on. I just want you to know a-and to understand.”

“Don’t I already know everything I need to know?” he asked but still moved to a side—just slightly but that was enough for you to slip into the lounge room, away from the loud music.

In the brief second that it took for you to walk past him into the room – your shoulder brushing against his chest gently – you thought you were going to suffocate. The smell of his cologne, his side profile and the twin moles above his eye that you’d spent countless mornings staring at, his close proximity and just him, as a whole, brought back every moment of the life that you’ve shared with him and you immediately understood that walking away from this life—away from him—was going to be a task you would never have enough strength to finish.

“No, not everything,” you said as he closed the door. The two of you were back to where you’d been so many times before – in your own lost, broken, and exhausted world that pulsed with pain and sorrow and desperation. “Y-you know about these events I had to do. Well, that was Jiho’s idea. He insisted the gallery couldn’t invest in me if I wasn’t popular enough. It was all about media play. I thought that sort of made sense but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to establish my career by having my pictures taken with him—”

“I get that,” Jaebum interrupted. He’d had enough time to analyze every single one of your cryptic and vague answers to his questions about how your exhibition was going. He managed to put the pieces together himself. “I understand that you were working on your career. It was a way to get your own exhibition, that’s fine. It’s good. But faking a relationship while—”

You protested immediately. “I wasn’t—”

“Please,” Jaebum looked away. The utter lack of emotion in his voice scared you far more than any possible outcome of this conversation could. “He took you to all of these places to stir shit up on purpose. To draw more interest to you because you and him were there together.”

It was starting to become obvious that you wouldn’t have to talk about what happened since you saw Jiho at the gallery out of town. Even despite not giving Jaebum the detailed breakdown – or any sort of details about what you did, really – Jaebum still seemed to know everything. In the time you’ve spent preparing the right words to say to him, you’d forgotten to give him credit for his unrivaled perception skills.

“But there was no relationship,” you said. “There never was.”

“Right,” Jaebum continued, the hollowness behind his eyes taking you back to the night you told him about Jiho. You could feel your hands start to shake just like they did back then. “Except you went along with all that he was feeding the media.”

That was true and that’s why you were unable to find an excuse. “I-I was doing it to get the exhibition—”

He scoffed. “Because there was no other way, right?”

“Yes!” you agreed, your voice growing desperate and borderline manic. “You’d have left me behind, otherwise. I’d have—”

“What?” Jaebum’s voice had risen, too. Your accusation had clearly taken him off guard. “How would I leave you behind? I—”

“Oh, come on, you were already busy with your company dinners with executives and your meetings about the upcoming single…” you said, not trying to sound accusing but feeling like you did anyway. Pausing for a quick moment, you tried to continue in a softer voice, “you’re already working on an album. I was just trying to catch up with you so we could do this together. Like we wanted to.”

He narrowed his eyes and did not find a way to form a sentence for a minute or two.

“Okay,” he finally said then. “Yeah, so that makes it better, right?”

“It—”

“No, no, stop, it’s—” one of his hands squeezed the bridge of his nose as he exhaled slowly. “I just—God. I took you with me to everything that I was going through. I told you about all of it—like you said. I’ve welcomed you into my life and actively tried to include you in every single thing that was going on with me. And not just in terms of my career. I mean every thing. And you—well, fuck, clearly, I don’t mean enough for you to—”

He started to pace around the room – all while avoiding your eyes – but you had a feeling that the creaking sound wasn’t caused by the old floorboards. It was the sound of your heart breaking.

“No, Jaebum,” you stopped him before he could finish the sentence, “t-that’s not it at all. I’m—I’m horribly afraid of hurting you or ruining the things between us and that’s why I didn’t tell you. This fear was—it just took control of all of my decisions. I’m sorry, I—I should have never kept quiet about something that was this big. I never meant to hurt you like that, I just genuinely—stupidly—thought that this was the only way for me to do this. I thought that if I could endure those events with him, it would ensure a future for me. For us. A happy, successful future.”

“That’s built on a lie?”

You blinked, his raw words ricochetting off the walls of the empty room and hitting your chest. “Built on—”

“—on you, selling yourself out to Jiho?” he finished for you.

“I wasn’t—Jaebum, please. I don’t like him, either. I hate him, really. Nothing ever happened between him and me—honestly, just the thought of something happening makes me want to tear my hair out in disgust. It’s just--at first I didn’t tell you about this to spare your feelings. You were in such a good mood, I never wanted to ruin that. And then I-I was scared because you’d started to drift away from me – you were telling me about all of these new opportunities, all of these new people. Imagine how much worse it would have been if you were making it in the world, and I was still scrubbing the walls at my gallery per Eva’s orders.”

You realized that no matter which direction you went in, your words still sounded accusing. But before you could express yourself more clearly, Jaebum was already groaning in exasperation.

“At least, I was telling you about my life!” he snapped. “You are the one who tried to leave me behind, in the end.”

“I—that’s—I didn’t mean to make it sound like you’re the one to blame here,” you said carefully. “I know I fucked up. I genuinely believed that everything would have worked out, eventually. I thought that I could host that exhibition and we could put all of this shit behind us, not having to focus on it at all. I thought I could completely erase the part of my life that involved Jiho while I was still living in it and only now do I realize how big of a reality check I needed. No one can live and attempt not to live at the same time.”

Jaebum didn’t speak but you saw his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. You took this as your cue to continue and say the words you’ve come to say.

“I just… I couldn’t shake these thoughts that you would have started to feel bad about talking about your achievements to me if I wasn’t achieving anything myself – that’s why I went along with what Jiho offered. Otherwise, y-you would have kept quiet about advancing your career so you wouldn’t upset me and, maybe, you would have found someone else to talk to,” you said and noticed that he opened his mouth – evidently ready to protest – so you continued louder, not letting him cut in, “you’d meet a lot of other people, a lot of similar people – aspiring singers – and they would listen to you. They would understand. You’d feel sorry for me then, maybe even try to help me. We would argue just like we used to, only this time, it would be so much bigger. We would—”

“Alright,” he couldn’t listen anymore. “I get it. Okay? You did this for your career. I get it.”

He didn’t just say that to get you to stop talking about all the hypothetical ways in which your relationship would have reached its end. He truly did understand your reasoning and, in any case, he wasn’t this upset about your choice to pull a publicity stunt with Jiho. What bothered him this whole week was the fact that he didn’t even know about this choice. Your voluntary silence in regards to your career was what hurt him the most and, when he allowed himself to unclench his muscles and finally glance at you, you saw the repercussions it had on him.

He looked exhausted. Vulnerable. Hurt.

“I didn’t want to keep it a secret,” you said slowly, your voice breaking when you needed it to be strong the most, “but there was nothing I feared more than losing you. Every time I was supposed to see Jiho, I felt sick. Every time I had to smile next to him, I was just about ready to die. I regretted it every step of the way and I wanted to tell you about it. I knew you’d tell me that I didn’t have to do this – that I could find a different way – but I feared that the end result would have been the same. My inability to keep up with you would have created a bottomless pit between us. It was already looming in the distance.”

“How long did you think you were going to keep doing this with him?” Jaebum asked but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer. Just this question, however, asked in a sensible tone, let you know that he was now hearing what you were saying and, as the gaps in the puzzle he’d pieced together began to fill, he was beginning to feel the tension in his chest recede.

“It was supposed to be just a few appearances,” you said. “He said it’d be good for me to make a name for myself but no one cared about that. I obviously wasn’t the first person he was dragging to these events and no one gave a shit about me. I was just his plus one.”

“So, why—”

“I finally decided to end this in the car on our way to Jackson’s event,” you began to respond, guessing what he was going to ask, “I knew this wasn’t going to work. I-I mean, it probably would have worked, eventually, but I’ve had enough. I didn’t want it to be like this. And then Jiho and I got into a fight and I got—I don’t know, confused? Distracted?—and I decided to wait until the end of the night before I told him I was done. I figured it’d be good for me to, at least, get to know some more relevant people before I gave up on everything I’ve been trying to work on.”

“But then Jackson ruined everything,” Jaebum pointed out.

You weren’t exactly sure how much Jackson had told Jaebum about your conversation but now didn’t feel like the right time to ask. You weren’t here to testify according to Jackson’s testimony. You were here to tell Jaebum the long-overdue truth.

“He didn’t ruin anything,” you said. “Jiho didn’t hear what Jackson and I talked about at that event.”

“Well, then what happened? How come we’re here?”

You took a deep breath.

“I ended it,” you said simply with a small shrug, “because I finally realized that none of this was ever going to be worth it. I ended it and then I quit my job at the gallery, too. I realized I’d made a mistake: I should have never stomped on all that I thought was right. I should have stuck with my morals. I realized where I was and what I was doing, and I didn’t want to be there anymore. I didn’t want to talk to Jiho anymore, let alone work with him,” you could feel yourself fire up as you talked, the emotions that had taken over you too difficult to control, “I didn’t even want to host a stupid fucking exhibition anymore. I just—I wanted you. And I no longer cared if I would've had to rob a construction site so I could build my own fucking gallery from the ground up and have the damn exhibition there, all on my own terms. I no longer cared if the exhibition would never even happen. I think, for a moment, I was hoping it would never happen because I didn’t think I deserved it. Because it made no sense if I didn’t have you. Nothing made sense if you weren’t with me.”

Jaebum couldn’t find enough air in the room to fill his lungs.

“Y-you—but why?” he asked, breathless and completely distraught. “You could have kept going. Like you said, if you’d have endured him a little more, you could have had your own exhibition just like you wanted. Why tell me and break the deal with Jiho off—”

“Because I love you,” you cut him off and for the next minute, the two of you listened to the heavy silence of the room, hearing how, beat by beat, your hearts returned to the harmonious rhythm.

He didn’t say anything – he was afraid – and you didn’t think you’d manage to find the strength to talk either, but the look on his face pushed you to open your mouth.

“I-I love you so fucking much, I’d rather throw away my only shot at a successful future than lose you,” you said, very uncertain about breaking the silence but gradually growing more confident once you saw the old glimmer in Jaebum’s eyes return, “I love you so much, I can’t pretend to be a different person with a different set of values, because every step along the way, I know that you would never support me like this,” you dared to take a step closer to him and nearly tripped over your feet when he stayed still, not pulling away from you, “I love you so much, I would rather stand behind and quietly watch you drift away from me, further and further every day, than risk drowning our relationship for the sake of something as trivial as ambition.”

You were standing right in front of him now, the two of you breathing each other’s oxygen like you’ve done so many times before.

“That shit means nothing to me in comparison to you,” you said quietly, the corners of your eyes wet with tears. “I don’t want anything else. Not like that. Never like that. And I’m so fucking sorry it took me this long to see this. I’m so sorry I didn’t immediately—I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I hesitated for so long. I-I waited and waited until I started to feel as if I could either have my exhibition or you and, if that was the case, I didn’t care about the fucking exhibition. I wanted you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”

“F-fuck. You didn’t tell me. You kept quiet—”

“I know. Fuck, I know. And I’m sorry, Jaebum,” you kept going, repeating the apologies over and over as tears slid down your cheeks, leaving a glistening path of sorrow in their wake. Ignoring your own feelings, you focused on collecting all of the pain you’ve caused him. You’d have spent the entire night apologizing for every bit of it—no matter how small and irrelevant. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you and I can’t think straight. I’ve never—you’re the only—fuck, I thought I was keeping it all to myself because I didn’t want to ruin your happiness. I don’t even know why that made sense to me—I-I’m sorry. I should have never kept you in the dark about this. I wanted—I want you next to me through everything I go through. I do, really, and I’m so sorry. I should have—”

“Please stop,” he asked shakily, “don’t apologize anymore. Please, just—l-let me kiss you. I can’t breathe.”

The words seemed heaven-sent -- you could almost hear a grandiose tune crescendo in the background but that could have just been your heart exploding -- and the speed with which your hands wrapped themselves around his neck as his lips found yours, stopped the earth from turning. The feeling of his body pressed against yours and every single touch of his fingers against your skin was filled with emotions so strong, it could have rearranged every star in the Milky Way.

You could hear the stars exploding in the night sky outside and you could taste the supernovas on his lips. You kissed him back, reading every painful memory he kept as your fingertips brushed against the shivering skin on the nape of his neck. You could feel the love for him burst in your chest, extending far into the other galaxies and returning right back, right to this empty room, where one single soul was beginning to patch itself back together again.

You never wanted to pull away and Jaebum held you like he wasn’t ever going to let you. His tongue slid under yours until the kiss was almost as deep as the love in his heart and as strong as his grip on your waist. He kissed you like he was never going to leave. Like everything was going to be okay.

When you pulled away, your lungs were heavy with the air you had both struggled to find in this room and your chests were full of the love you’ve held yourselves back from sharing. You leaned in, kissing him again – not taking the feeling of his lips against yours for granted but still not being able to get enough of him – and he stopped you from pulling away by kissing you harder because the thought of not having kissed you for so long suddenly hurt much more than anything else.

You were laughing when he broke the kiss to inhale, leaning his forehead against yours. His hands were still on your waist as if the only way to make sure that you were really here, was to hold you as close as possible.

“Y-you said you quit your job,” he mentioned after a moment, his eyes scanning every inch of your face to check how much of you has changed while he wasn’t there to see it. “Are you sure about that?”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s okay. I’m looking for a new one,” you said and then could not resist adding, “maybe you can support a poor girl with the money you’ll get when your debut album goes platinum.”

Jaebum laughed and, for a quick moment, it felt like you’ve died and appeared right at the gates to heaven. The thought that you’d risked never hearing the sound of his laughter again was impossible to bear.

“Hey, but what about the bottomless pit, looming in the distance of our relationship?” he asked.

You hated the metaphor when you said it but you wanted to stomp it into the ground when he repeated it. He was probably never going to let the dramatic flair in your speech go but even the possibility of him mocking you for the rest of your life excited you.

“I spit in it,” you said, dead-serious. “And anyone who tries to get to us will be drowned in said spit.”

Jaebum frowned but the smile didn’t leave his lips. “That is disgusting and very violent.”

“Every time I end up almost losing you, I become more aggressive,” you confessed in a humorous tone but you weren’t joking about anything you were saying. “Watch out, I’ll kill a man for you one day.”

He laughed again – and the heavenly gates opened up even wider – shaking his head. “I hope that won’t be necessary.”

You cleared your throat, the moment’s banter broken by the heaviness in your chest that, frankly, might never go away despite how tonight ended.

“I hope so, too,” you said and your hands detached themselves from around his neck, sliding down his chest until you felt him reluctantly release your waist. You needed more distance if you wanted to tell him the things you’ve gotten too overwhelmed to say before. “I truly am sorry, Jaebum. I never ever wanted to keep any secrets from you, I—”

“I know,” he said almost reflexively. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

He nodded, agreeing with your disagreeing eyes. “Yeah, alright. It’s not. But I love you. I don’t know what’s okay anymore when it comes to you.”

The shivers that ran down your body after he said the three words seemed to buzz so loudly, you couldn’t hear your thoughts anymore, let alone think about the power you held over him.

“I… I’m scared of the lengths I might go in order not to lose your love,” you admitted slowly, your stomach clenching and twisting and turning as you said the words that seemed right but felt so terrifying. “I’m scared I might keep proving to be unworthy of it.”

Jaebum lifted his hands to reach yours – still resting on his chest – and he squeezed them, pressing them into his chest harder until you could feel his heartbeat.

“My love isn’t that noble of a thing,” he said.

“It is to me,” you insisted. “I know you don’t give it to just anyone and I hate to think that I almost proved to you that all of your fears about this – about us – were rational.”

You were afraid to look him in the eyes but he refused to speak if you weren’t.

“They weren’t rational,” he said once your gazes finally met.

“W-what?” you frowned. “But—”

“They never were rational,” he said, the beating of his heart accentuating every word. “There was never a legitimate reason for me to be afraid of what would happen to us next. I can’t be afraid of life. And I know that for certain now because you told me you loved me a-and you meant it. You’re the first person who told me that and meant it.”

“Jaebum,” you whispered, scared to talk louder than his heart was beating. “You will probably never meet a person who fucks up more than I do. I make mistakes so stupid, it’s impossible I haven’t accidentally killed myself yet. And I always realize that what I’m doing is wrong when it’s too late.”

He watched you before admitting, “I don’t see your point.”

“I love you but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me to love me back,” you confessed, getting your hands out from under his and dropping them to your sides. The words you were saying to him now were a permission for him to leave and touching him felt too much like holding him back from making a rational, sensible decision. “You deserve a relationship where you wouldn’t have to try so hard. A relationship where you would be treated right and would never have to overcome all of these huge obstacles in order to be happy. A-and I love you enough to leave if you tell me to leave.”

He didn’t respond right away and, for every second that he was quiet, the fear spread faster and faster inside of you. You would certainly go if he told you to but you were scared of how many pieces of yourself you’d leave with him when you walked away.

“God,” Jaebum finally said. “You do make painfully dumb decisions, that part was true.”

“I—” your eyebrows had risen as these weren’t the words you’d expected him to say. “Yeah, alright. I do.”

“If you left me, ever,” Jaebum said, “that would be the mistake you’d realize you’d made too late.”

You tried not to focus on the excited whimpering of your heart. “I-I just don’t want you to feel like—”

“You are indescribably thick—” Jaebum interrupted.

“Okay, now that stung a little—”

“—for ever thinking that I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he finished, taking your hands back into his so you wouldn’t cut him off again.

“Y-you…” your breath hitched, “you’d want that?”

“Of course,” Jaebum said, pulling you back closer to him as final proof that he was absolutely not going to let you leave. “No relationships sail smoothly from beginning to end. There are obstacles everyone has to overcome so they could be together in the end.”

“But these obstacles, they—they’re never this big for others,” you weren’t sure why you kept talking but it still didn’t feel like all was said and done. You’ve already made so many apologies about keeping secrets from him that it didn’t feel right to stop talking before you’ve truly said everything. “We’ve gone through so much and I’ve always been scared that you and I might have an expiration date. I don’t want to put you through any more suffering because of me, and, God knows, I can’t walk away from you but maybe being with someone shouldn’t be so hard.”

His grip on you only tightened.

“Maybe it shouldn’t,” he said. “But if it is, then you’re the only person I want to go through all of those hard times with. Maybe that’s my painfully dumb decision.”

You gave him a look. “Ha.”

“I love you,” Jaebum smiled, his voice sounding far less strained than it did when you first came here tonight as if a thousand pounds have been lifted from the inside of his throat. “And if this love is exactly what kills me, then, at least, I’ll die knowing that you love me, too.”

“I do,” you promised, smiling when he grimaced at his own choice of words. “Always.”

It was what he needed to hear. It was all that he needed to hear and he leaned in to capture your lips with his in a kiss that sealed the promises made here.

Jaebum could recognize his own vulnerability when it came to you – not that it mattered when your lips were against his – and he was partially convinced that he’d already forgiven you long before you came to see him tonight. But the fact that you did come only proved to him that you were worthy of his forgiveness.

You would've had to be extremely naïve to believe that you'd immediately move past the weeks of silence and the days of pain. All of it might still return to haunt you in the future but it was okay because, with every shared kiss, the hurt and the pain would recede until, eventually, it’d turn into a memory. A memory that made you stronger.

You’ve made promises to each other tonight. Promises to fight together, even if sometimes you couldn’t help but return to your very roots and argue with each other instead. However, at the end of every fight, what you would truly be defending would not be your own interest or your own feelings. You’d be defending this relationship. Defending your heart and his heart, permanently tied together with rusty, tortured--and yet unbreakable--chains.

You would have screamed, suffered, and sacrificed the whole world to keep his heart safe and he would have done all of that for you.

chapter directory

256 notes · View notes

nightklok · 4 years ago

Note

TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU WRITE PICKLES AND CHARLES PLEASE ;0; what are you inspirations for their dynamic? you write them so in love and it makes me immensely happy

Thank you firstly, means a lot because writing them happy brings me so much joy-even if I probably wrote more angst than fluff of them at a point-jkfl

I have answered Pickles here so I’ll write about Charles and why I write them together with the way I do! :D

Charles

I feel like Charles has a lot more emotions/feelings than the show tries to give him credit for (I like to think that by season 4, he learned to be a little be more emotional around the boys enough as he learned that it’s okay to be a bit emotional if he needs to around them BUT then Doomstar completely wrecked him)

I really adore trying to write characters that are normally stoic in the show into more gentler/emotional people. I feel like the DVD extra of him taking calls and season 4/Doomstar shows he can be emotional! He has friends outside of Dethklok, his own hobbies/interests, definitely feels something and I don’t think my idea of him is really all that far fetched. He’s not just some asshole in a suit and while he has done questionable things, 9/10 it’s for the sake of Dethklok and not himself (Whoops forgot about Melmord here but even then I think Charles isn’t being selfish because he really does know he’s the only one that keep them in control-Melmord is just a snake oil salesman in a non-existent clown costume or something-)

I do keep in mind that he is a serious person and most likely is even when around people he completely trusts. He’s a person who can be a bit hard to read but he’s also not that hard when you actually get to know him and really know where to look when talking to him. Also I do headcanon that he is autistic but that��s for another story i think

He’s a character that even though I know is emotional inside, he does have to keep a stoic/non-expression look to him on the surface. He has the most important job in his life and he’s well aware of it. Being emotional/expressing anything but seriousness could possibly endanger him and Dethklok. It’s probably not by much because I do think even when he is emotional and can express himself, it’s still controlled to a degree. He can’t just let himself completely break in front of someone, he wouldn’t allow that at all. I’d imagine he’d have to pretend that he only sees them as coworkers and nothing else or that the band would have to do the same to him or there would be kidnapping attempts. there probably is anyway on a yearly basis but thanks to him, it’s near impossible to do that as they do have highly trained klokateers.

But I still believe even regardless of that that it must get exhausting at times. A warm bed and wanting to sleep in is something that everyone desires to do at least once but they have to get up early and go to work or do whatever they need to do. Charles is human and he’s a human has needs like everyone else. I feel that he does probably have the days where just sleeping in sounds like a wonderful thing to do or that there are stressful days where he’d just need a long bath or something. Because of this, I don’t really seem him as aggressive or overly dominant when off work and in a relationship. Having to take care of a band and basically the world’s economy is exhausting. If he just wants to be taken care of, let him!!

Basically what I’m saying is let the guy take a nap

I do like to try and base off characters/writing off real people/situations so I think I gotta say Brian Epstein who managed the Beatles really helped in figuring out how Charles is like as a manager to Dethklok-I really began researching him around the time I got into the show because of class and it was interesting reading about him and I honestly think he’s one of the best band managers I heard of (next to Peter Grant of course-). I do also relate to Charles in some level though the patience he has I think is really almost inhumane because wow-

I kinda did write Chickles first before this so i might be repeating? So I’ll just leave this as it is but either way, I just like writing him as a little bit more emotional/down to earth. I get that it might be OOC a bit but I feel like the aggressive/dominant part is a little bit way too OOC-

Chickles

I honestly wonder why I write them so in love too if i have to be honest dsflkj

To answer what the inspirations; i feel like a huge factor into why I write them the way do (and probably any other ship) is because while i have had the feeling of falling in love before, i never really had the experience of being in a romantic relationship or went anywhere even close to that with someone. I feel like this is kinda obvious but its about the yearning I kinda do fantasize what it must be like but I do also take what I have learned/read/seen from either relationships I know of personally or seen in media and apply to them. I take both toxic and good relationships to see what I do/don’t want to write when it comes to relationships and what they would/wouldn’t do. I don’t use toxic relationships to completely shape a relationship but rather analyze it, see why it’s toxic in the first place, and see what I can do to either when I write relationships/pairings in general. Obviously I use Addams family’s Morticia and Gomez as a base for writing good relationships in general because who wouldn’t???

I also think writing terribly written Chickles fanfics and even ones with Charles probably help to in writing Charles. Are they near uncomfortable and make me wanna take a shower after reading them? Yes-but reading them not for entertainment/knowing what you’re getting into and then thinking about why you didn’t like it honestly helps in keeping a character in check. Not something I recommend for works that can potentially trigger you but for for those fics that just don’t nail their character right, can be useful in knowing how you don’t want to portray a character/relationship. It can be VERY easy to make Chickles a toxic pairing if you don’t know how to handle them right. Having a character like Charles be with someone like Pickles can be easy to butcher if someone doesn’t really study their characters. Charles doesn’t have to be completely dominant nor is he a Christian Grey-like character that doesn’t seem to know how to properly communicate with his partners. And Pickles is definitely not a weak, submissive person and is stronger/braver than anyone gives him credit for when writing those relationships. I like to think that while one may be a little more dominant/in control of the relationship, they are complete equals. If one needs to be taken care of, the other will step in and help them out.

Writing them that they had knew each other in the Snakes N’ Barrels era/80s has always been basically canon to me too! So I guess it just makes it also a lot easier to write them as in love when I set the stories in dethklok/present day; whatever problems that they had in the beginning that they fear the other might judge/yell/misunderstand for would be long since resolved/handled by the time the show aired. Whether they actually date or not by then kinda depends on the story but either way, they would have a strong relationship. They would have learned about each other, their problems and who they are inside and out. They fall in love with the little things they do and learn to handle any pet peeves with them but accept them as who they are. They have gone through so much together behind the scenes and their relationship to each other probably is one of the few that hasn’t changed when Dethklok got incredibly famous.

Season 3 and onward might be a different story. Though it’s not because of personal grievances but more of just the topic of keeping secrets & not telling the truth when they would’ve most likely been so honest with each other before. And honestly that’s what makes it REALLY devastating to write about; Pickles would know jackshit for at least a few years (Assuming that Season 3 & Season 4 took place within 3 years at best.) and I don’t think watching someone you really love/care about die in front of you, then come back less than a year later and refuse to talk about why they’re here and give vague/cryptic answers is gonna put things back to normal. (Maybe one day I’ll finish that fic I poured near 10,000 words in-).

And honestly it’s probably where I would like to explore on their relationship the most but it’s just so damn complex and detailed that I definitely need a lot of time to work on. They’d both want things to go back to normal but by Charles coming back, it signaled that things weren’t as what they used to be and that they most likely won’t be. What used to be a relationship based on comfort, familiarity, and a predicted unpredictability, has become something much more than neither of them have either prepared for. They’ll have to work hard to move past it and accept that like their relationship, things won’t be like they used to be. But with how much time they have spent together and that they still love each other regardless, they’ll be able to go through with this and get their happy ending!! (And I guess this is why I evolved from ‘definitely not the marrying type’ to ‘yeah they definitely get hitched after galaktikon’ because charles and pickles have probably signed a lot of important documents all their lives, so signing a marriage certificate that binds them to each other would be the most sentimental/important document he’s ever signed.)

All in all,they have such good potential writing because it’s just easy to write them for me. From their first meetings to first relationship to getting to be signed to Dethklok, I feel like they have something I probably won’t be able to replicate in other ships. They are an absolute joy to write and getting to explore.

God i could go on forever about them but im gonna stop dlfskj

#lampmeeting #Insomniac Coffee Talks [asks]#god did any of this make sense #who the fuck knows #i hope this makes sense #thanks for asking!! :D #headcanon: charles foster offdensen #pairing: chickles

11 notes · View notes

cat-tob · 4 years ago

Text

Seven Thursdays

Seven Thursdays, Seven Coincidences

Im Hyunsik x OC

(previously uploaded under killingmebtob, this is a revised edition)

Thursday, 5 October 2017

"Believe in me and wait. I promise... I'll come back to you..."

I can barely hold back from rolling my eyes at the cliché dialogue. Sometimes, I really question my editor's intentions. For the nth time today, I wonder how she expects me to gain inspiration from a coming-of-age novel but then again, she knows best when it comes to melodrama. Sighing, I return to the passage, fervently hoping that something interesting will come up to distract me from the cold. It is now the middle of autumn now and I did not expect it to be chilly this afternoon in the park, especially after the weather forecast earlier.

"Hi, sorry is this seat taken?"

A low voice interrupts my thoughts. Without looking up from my book, I shake my head while gesturing to the stranger to take a seat. With a murmur of thanks, he sits slowly and softly as if he is afraid of interrupting me again. Cute, my mind whispers before I lose myself to the story, the ambient noise as a wonderful soundtrack to accompany me.

It is only moments later when I notice that the sun is setting. I barely registered the stranger leaving but then again, he had been very quiet. I keep my book in my bag before bringing my hands up to my lips to blow on them. As I am about to leave, I notice a pack of new hand warmer by my side. Did he leave it behind by chance? Or did he notice that my fingers are freezing? Smiling to myself, I thank the stranger in my heart while I take the pack.

I guess my questions will remain unanswered, I think as I walk away from the bench.

It takes one Thursday to cross paths.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

I find myself at the park again, sitting on the same bench while writing out a brief plot for my new idea. It is not much but definitely better than last week. I smile to myself as I recall the act of kindness last week. I guess chivalry is not really dead, I think wryly.

As I write, I hear the crunching of leaves which make me look up to see a person approaching the bench.

"Hi again. Is the seat taken?"

A familiar voice breaks the silence around me. Finally, I am able to put a face to the kind stranger from last week. He is pretty tall, his black coat accentuating his silhouette. His messy black hair almost covers his eyes which light up as he smiles.

"No, it isn't," I answered, still reeling from the surprise that I am seeing him for the second time in the two Thursdays I am here.

With a muttered thanks, he sits and relaxes against the bench. Crossing his legs, he takes out a notepad before plugging in his earphones. A look of concentration crosses his face as he writes. Soon, he looks as if he had lost himself to the music as he remains engrossed in his work. I catch myself studying him, mentally berating myself for staring. All of a sudden, I remember that I have to thank him for the hand warmer. However, I hold back for I did not want to disturb him. Maybe later, I think and I turn to write.

Later finds me nearing sunset. I hear him moving as he starts to pack his things. Gathering up the courage, I clear my throat before turning to him.

"Hey, umm... thanks for the hand warmer last Thursday," I croak out, my throat dry from not talking for an hour.

He looks up, as if my voice had jolted him from his task.

"No worries, I have a lot on me," he answers.

He breaks into a smile and the corner of his eyes crinkle along with his smile lines, making his smile contagious to those around him. I can only nod, unsure of how to respond. As he stands, he suddenly turns to me and hands out a new pack of hand warmer.

"It's going to get cold tonight. Keep warm yeah?"

With a parting wave, he turns around and leaves.

It takes two Thursdays to smile.

Thursday, 19 October 2017

Perhaps my continued fascination with the park is that it is a good place to observe humanity's interesting antics. It is one of the few moments where their uninhibited emotions are clear on their faces as they enjoy themselves.

"Maybe I can use that little boy for a character model," I mumble to myself while scribbling in my notebook.

Satisfied with what I had written, I look up only to see Mr. Stranger approaching my vicinity. He is certainly a good model, my thoughts creep up before I dismiss them.

"Hello again," he greets as he stands before the bench.

"Hey, and no this seat isn't taken," I respond while moving my things away to make room for him. I close my notebook and place it by my side.

Chuckling, he takes off his bag before sitting carefully at his usual space.

"I've come prepared today," I remark, indicating to the hand warmer on my lap.

He gives a small laugh in his low voice and I grin along with him. There is really something about this stranger that lights up the atmosphere around him. He leans back and breathes in deeply as if he is soaking up the atmosphere around him.

"You're not reading today?" he suddenly asks, breaking the momentary silence.

"Yeah, not today. I'm collecting materials instead."

"Materials?" His eyes narrow, clearly confused about the term.

I grin while gesturing to the people around us.

"Yeah, materials. Everyone here is a potential subject."

He nods, finally understanding what I am referring to. He crosses his arms behind his head as he observes his surroundings.

"You're a writer."

It is not a question and I just incline my head in return. With a heavy sigh, he tilts his head back against the headrest and closes his eyes. I glance at his calm face, a question lingering at the tip of my tongue.

"Are you a writer too?" I blurt.

With his eyes still close, he smirks and mumbles, "Somewhat, I guess."

All of a sudden, his phone rings. He sits up, excuses himself as he leaves to take the call. I take the moment to register our conversation, rolling my eyes at his last cryptic response. He comes back soon, an apologetic look on his face.

"I have to go now," he starts as he takes the bag that he had left on the bench.

I nod in response as I wave him off. As he adjusts the bag on his shoulders, he appears to remember something and starts to dig in his coat pocket. He takes a pair of gloves out before turning to me.

"See you around," he says clearly as he offers the gloves to me. "Take care of yourself, yeah?"

I accept them hesitantly, confusion and questions clear on my face.

"Don't catch a cold. Thursdays will be boring without you," he answers, grinning with a mischievous glint in his eyes before walking away.

Leaving me sitting on the bench holding the pair of gloves in my hand and a million questions running through my head.

It takes three Thursdays to talk.

Thursday, 26 October 2017

On Thursday, I find myself staring at a familiar handsome stranger writing on the bench. This marks our fourth meeting and I still don't know anything about him, I think dryly. As if he senses my approach, he looks up from his work and his face break into the warmest of smiles as he notices me. He shifts his bag to make space. Wordlessly, I walk up and take my place next to him. Somehow, this is beginning to feel like a routine.

"Thanks for the gloves last week," I start as I hand them to him.

"No worries, I'm glad you look well," he responds before returning back to his writing.

Despite it being our fourth meeting, there is something comfortable about meeting him here to the extent that I have started to look forward to Thursdays. A calm silence settles between us as we each turn to our own individual task. Once in a while, I steal a glance at him from the corner of my eye. He does not write much but he plays with his pen a lot by tapping it against the armrest in a constant rhythm. Sometimes he murmurs under his breath and gets ready to write, only to shake his head and continues tapping. I smile to myself, acknowledging that I do enjoy this weird company that we share.

"So, I tried to look you up..." he remarks all of a sudden, pulling me away from my reverie.

I frown at his revelation as I try to recall the instance that we introduce ourselves.

"I didn't tell you my name," I counter.

He laughs softly as he points to the notebook on my lap. On the notebook, my name is spelt out clearly in cursive, a grim reminder of that one attempt where I had considered calligraphy as a job switch.

"That's a little sneaky and creepy actually," I respond.

Like a defence mechanism, I turn the notebook face down. He laughs louder now and apologises.

"I wanted to ask you last week, but work pulled me away. I'm sorry," he supplements, the ghost of a grin flittered across his face.

I tried to maintain my frown but I crack a smile at his embarrassed expression.

"Good thing I'm in a good mood today," I smirk, turning away from him to focus on the people before me.

"Oh, why so?"

Someone is chatty today. I keep my notebook in my bag before replying to his question.

"My editor gave me the green light to start on a new novel."

His smile widens as he offers his hand to me. "Congratulations! So what is it going to be about? Another thriller?"

"Nope, I choose to experiment on melodrama instead, with a mix of science fiction," I reply, secretly amazed that he knows my recent works, even if it had been an online name search.

He considers my response, nodding as if in agreement with my choice of direction.

"So who and what are you? You already know who I am and I think your introduction is way overdue," I ask, turning to face him fully.

He turns as well, placing his arm on the headrest, a serious look on his face as he contemplates my question.

"Well, I'm a composer and lyricist. But I'm not as big as you."

I raise an eyebrow at the obvious downplay of his abilities.

"So what have you composed?" I ask, a weak attempt at making him reveal himself.

"Few things here and there," he replies in a tone that implies he does not want to continue.

Shrugging, I look away from him. Secretive fellow.

Silence blankets us for a moment as I catch a scene in front of me. With a burst of inspiration, I am about to take my notebook when he interrupts me.

"You're not curious about my name?"

I cock my head at the question, my eyes glued to the family that I picked out.

"I'm just assuming you don't want me to know," I state, ignoring his chuckle at that answer.

"So what are you writing now?"

"Hmm... character profiles. The park is a good resource for that," I answer distractedly as I fix my gaze on the way a mother picks her child up after falling.

"So am I a part of that resource too?"

Pause.

I stop writing, my hand lingering in the air as I consider the implication behind his question. Deciding not to think too much on it, I turn to him to meet his eye and shrug.

"Maybe."

A moment of uncomfortable silence stretches between us as we both hold each other's gaze. I remain transfixed, not daring myself to look away from him. At the same time, there is a weird and indescribable look on his face, as if he is holding back from saying something. Fortunately, his alarm beeps and shatters the awkwardness that had settled between us. He looks away first and reaches for his phone. Sighing, he keeps his phone away and starts gathering his things.

"See you," I say weakly, still uneasy with what had transpired. He nods in reply and turns to walk away. However, he stops and faces me.

"I'm Im Hyunsik by the way, to answer your other question."

It takes four Thursdays to get to know one another.

Thursday, 3 November 2017

"So... you're the genius composer."

Hyunsik widens his eyes before grinning, remembering that he had told me his name last week.

"Guess we're even now since you looked me up. I'm actually surprised you didn't know me beforehand," he admits shyly while sipping his coffee.

He had arrived a bit later than me today, with two cups of hot coffee in his hands. He gave the excuse that the barista had given him an additional one as a mistake but even that lie sounded weak to my ear. I am thankful for his sweet gesture though, it really is getting colder with autumn ending so soon.

"Sorry, I don't really listen to music much," I apologise, a little embarrassed at my ignorance.

I remembered feeling extremely shocked when I had looked him up after last week. I did not expect him to be that famous as he did not even give any indication of it. He shakes his head, saying that it is nice for a change to not be famous to someone.

"How's your writing going?" Hyunsik asks after a while.

I look up from my notebook and smile happily as I recall my progress.

"It's going great! I'm thinking of exploring the idea of interconnectedness, like I want to experiment writing multiple perspectives and linking them up to a singular major event. I think it's really interesting to show how coincidence brings people together sometime later in the future."

He meets my eye from the corner of his, the sides of his lips pulling into a smirk as if he finds something humorous in my ramble. However, he holds his gaze a little longer than necessary. Slightly uncomfortable, I look away and ask about his group's comeback.

"Soon... that is provided I get the song ready on time," he sighs. He runs his fingers through his hair as a gesture of exasperation.

"Is it something like a writer's block?" I asked, uncertain about the differences between our professions.

"Something like that, yeah. The song is actually ready but I think I should modify the bridge a little," Hyunsik admits before releasing a heavy sigh again.

In a moment of craziness, my hand reach out to pat the hand on his lap as a sign of comfort. He stiffens at the contact and I am about to pull away when he actually holds it in place with his other hand.

"Your hands are cold," he murmurs while giving my hand a squeeze.

I freeze, my stare burning on our contact. A million thoughts run through my mind yet I am unable to decipher any of them. Instead, my senses are heightened on our touch, on the feeling of his warm palm against my skin... on the heat that we share. I am at lost, torn between what I am supposed to do and what I really wanted. Do I pull away even though a part of me is relishing this? How do I...

Before I can even make sense of my internal conundrum, Hyunsik returns my hand to my lap but not before giving it a lingering pat.

"When will your book be published?"

His voice fills the silence between us. It takes me a moment to find my voice to respond.

"In six months, if everything goes alright," I whisper shakily, still reeling from what had happened.

"That means we have at least six months to continue meeting like this."

I look at him in askance, my eyes widening at his statement. When he offers no inclination of continuing, I ask, "Why so?"

"Because you said I may be a resource for your book," he grins as he recalls our last conversation.

I break into an awkward smile, still unsure of the hidden implications that surround this enigmatic man.

"Why do you come here every Thursday?" he asks, curiosity lacing his tone.

Leaning against the bench, I take a moment to consider my reply.

"I think it's because Thursday is a random day of the week. It's a day before the weekends and it's also the last day of the weekdays. I don't know honestly, maybe it's a good day to wind down. What about you? Why are you here on Thursdays?"

Still smiling, he mimics my position. "Same here I guess."

"What a coincidence," I say softly, a ghost of a smile teasing on my lips.

"Or maybe it's because I just want to keep sharing conversations with you."

Startling, I turn to him, searching on his face, and in his eyes, for his intentions behind the loaded statement. He stares back, confidently meeting my gaze. My breath hitches up in my throat as he drops his guard for a moment, revealing a glimmer of the truth. All too soon, he hides his emotions and fixes me a small smile.

"You should pick up your phone, it's been ringing for a while," he states, inclining his head at a particular buzzing source.

Before I can respond, he stands up and brushes the lint off his coat.

"Take care. I'll see you around."

It takes five Thursdays to be honest.

Thursday, 10 November 2017

For the first time in six weeks, I am late.

Not that we ever set a time or even promise to meet every week, I think sardonically. There is nothing certain between us, yet a weird routine had settled which makes our meetups work. However, deep down I acknowledge that one of the reasons why I am late is because of the lingering fear that had developed along with the anticipation of meeting him. And following last Thursday's 'incident', I know that our meetups are not coincidences. Coincidence works best in the first three weeks, but not for six weeks. Besides, after last week, I know for sure that the term 'coincidence' does not begin to describe us.

Us.

I shake my head as I try to stop myself from going down that slippery slope. I remember vividly how I had walked home after last Thursday, pondering over our exchange. Over his words and over...

I stop short when I notice that he is not there on the bench. I nibble my lower lip, wondering why he is not there when I am already two hours late. Shrugging it off, I make my way to the bench with the very intention of waiting for him so that I am able to demand some answers out of him. And perhaps, just maybe, get myself out of this limbo that we have subconsciously put ourselves in. I shiver slightly, wrapping my arms around myself in a half-ass effort to keep warm. Slowly, I start to recall how it all started with a pack of hand warmers.

It is interesting, to say the least, that we know almost next to nothing about one another except from the things online. Nevertheless, his little quirks have started to make their way under my skin. I find myself thinking of the way the corner of his eyes crinkle up when he smiles, or his deep chuckles as he laughs at our conversations. I recollect how he taps his pen, or how he bites the end as he thinks. I remember how his lips move wordlessly as he voices out his thoughts. I remember the light scent of his cologne that envelopes us and I definitely remember the feel of his hand against mine.

I bite back a sigh when I realise that deep down, he will not be here today. There is nothing to keep him coming and our time is up. As I am about to stand up, I hear someone running up towards me.

"Miss! Miss writer!"

I ignore the disappointment in my heart when I realise the voice is not his. A little boy, barely eight years of age, approaches me from afar. As he gasps for breath, he hands me a folded paper enthusiastically.

"He... He said this is for you!" he greets, smiling with a toothy grin.

"Who?"

"A tall mister!"

With that, the little boy runs off. My eyes follow him as he reaches his group of friends who are playing in the park's open space. Curious, I open up the letter, sentiment telling me exactly who the tall mister was.

Hey,

I'm sorry that I am not able to stay for too long today. We've started preparing for our comeback. It will be on the 16th so I hope you will look forward to it. Hope your book is going smoothly. I'll see you soon. Take care.

Hyunsik

Attached is a pack of hand warmer. I take it in my hand, allowing a sad smile to cross my features momentarily. And now I know another thing about Im Hyunsik: his neat and clear handwriting. A clear reflection of the man that he is.

It takes six Thursdays to be confused

Thursday, 17 November 2017

On the seventh Thursday, I find myself sitting on the bench. My notebook lays untouched by my side. On my lap is my phone, playing a recent ballad. Playing his ballad. My wrist is slowly feeling a little numb from having supported my head since earlier. As I listen to his mellow and baritone voice, I note that he really lives up to his name as the 'genius composer'. The song is nothing short of amazing and yet... it makes me even more confused than our last meeting. Putting the song on repeat since yesterday did nothing to clear my mind. Instead, it only creates more questions as the implications of the lyrics sink in.

His lyrics which tells a story of two strangers.

About love found in coincidences.

I frown as the song reach the bridge, the part that he had admitted having problems with and the part that makes me question the man even more.

So when I next see you

I hope you'll wait for me

For this song is never enough

Not for the words that I want to share with you

A shiver runs down my back, not from the cold but from the raw emotions in his voice as he sings the bridge. Even though there is a slight drizzle, I barely register the raindrops. It is as if his song is keeping me warm.

Suddenly, I notice that the raindrops have subsided, not because the rain has stopped, but because there is a navy umbrella above me. I blink the water droplets away from my eyelashes to finally notice the black boots in front of mine.

"You're here early."

I look up and sure enough, Hyunsik stands before me, his hand outstretched as he shares his umbrella with me.

"Hey you," I greet, smiling weakly at him.

"You're listening to our song."

I look down at my lap and see that his group's album is clear on the screen.

"Yeah, I just remembered today." A lie.

He shifts his weight on his feet as he brings the umbrella closer to me. I did not make any move to stand. Nor did I give any indication of moving away.

"So what do you think about it?" A slight apprehension laces his voice as he nervously waits for my response.

I look up and meet his eyes, eyes that are filled with worry and expectations.

"It's a loaded song," I mutter, breaking our eye contact when I notice the way his eyes shift to read me.

A stretched silence comes between us, each of us wanting to say something but holding back out of fear.

"What does the song mean?" I manage after the prolonged stillness, still looking down on my lap.

He takes a deep breath as he considers my question. Clearing his throat, he tries to find the proper words to answer.

"I... I want us to end our Thursdays."

My head shoots up as I eye him suspiciously over his unexpected statement. He sees the look on my face and laughs under his breath before continuing.

"That's not what I mean. I want us to stop meeting on Thursdays in exchange for the rest of our days. I want us to stop meeting at the park so that I can take you out for dinner after this. I want to meet you on any days and time that we can. I want to stop looking forward to Thursdays and instead, I just want to look forward to all the other days that I can share with you."

I blink slowly as comprehension sinks in. Finally, I am able to register the unexplained tension that had settled between us since a few Thursdays ago.

"Where are we right now, Hyunsik?" I ask softly, my voice barely a whisper but he hears it nonetheless.

"A crossroads of sort. I've stepped on my path and I think it's your turn now to make the choice."

"And what if I choose something else entirely?"

"Then I'll be happy with the seven Thursdays that I was able to spend with you."

A sad smile crosses his face as he considers the possibility of that happening. I nibble my lower lip, unsure of the words that I want to say.

"This is not supposed to happen. Everything is supposed to be a coincidence," I whisper as I hold his gaze.

With his usual eye-smile, he responds, "And some coincidences are made after the first one."

When I can only see determination staring back at me, I take a deep breath and make a move to stand up. Noticing this, Hyunsik offers his hand but I do not take it. Instead, I plant my feet closer to the bench to create a small distance between us. I ignore the flash of hurt on his face and take a step closer.

"There are a lot of things that we don't know about each other," I state clearly, proud that my voice is stable enough to not betray my decision.

"And that's the beauty of this. Of us. So will you take the chance with me?"

Appearing as if I am considering his question, I take a step closer to him until we are only a breath away from each other. And for the first time, I am able to see his face up close. He really is handsome, and the pictures are nothing in comparison. Hesitatingly, I reach a hand up to cup his cheek, my thumb barely stroking his smooth skin. He stands utterly still, as if afraid that by moving, I may run away. I lean my head closer, until our foreheads touch and I can feel him shiver from the cold and our close proximity. Slowly, I bring my lips closer to his, stopping an inch away so that we share the same breath. He did not move and I silently thank fate that he is giving me his trust along with so much more. I press my lips lightly against his, a ghost of a kiss before pulling back. With our foreheads still against each other, I whisper the answer that I had chosen since his confession.

"Ok."

It takes seven Thursdays to start falling in love

#btob #im hyunsik #lim hyunsik #btob hyunsik #btob au #btob ff #btob fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #hyunsik ff #hyunsik au

19 notes · View notes