#i feel like it will work cause that time i was labelled as a mature blog last summer we got me out of jail through the force of numbers
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guzhufuren · 9 months ago
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hey beloveds would any of you be cool with helping me out by sending a 1-2 sentence long ask to the tumblr wip blog this monday? i will tell you what to write, but basically i really need them to bring the option of large text posts with unlimited amount of images back (opposed to current 30 image limit for a post of any kind) OR making old post editor available because i have prepared a guide to bl/gl/ql world for people unfamiliar or relatively new to it. and the guide includes 84 recs with one animated gif poster attached to every show, which can't be post with the tumblr's limit. my previous guide from a few years ago gained 9k notes, and since it worked then i'm hoping to bring more people to our fandoms this way again and introduce them to this alternative instead of limiting themselves to only western queer television. please leave a like on this post if you wouldn't mind sending an ask to tumblr staff and receiving instructions from me on monday
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monzamash · 5 months ago
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my side of the sofa — lando norris
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rating – mature (language, sexual references) requested for✨monzamusings✨ inspired by the kooks' sofa song – and i kinda want to continue this lil story... lmk what you think x
lando was the andy to your april, the tom to your zendaya – on paper there was no logical reason why your dynamic worked, polar opposites in almost every way. he was sunshine personified, wildly charming and devilishly handsome. he was the kind of guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, staunchly loyal with a smile brighter than the stars he swore you hung in the night sky.
in contrast, you walked on the darker side of life; a little mysterious, quietly confident and self assured but humble, generous and effortlessly beautiful but to some, you were intimidating – always kind and caring but scary until those impenetrable walls that had been iron clad from birth started to come down.
somehow lando norris had achieved what most thought was impossible.
it started small with knowing smiles and inside jokes – my god, you had jokes for days! and he laughed at every single one, without fail. wild curls thrown back and smile lines crinkled together, creating a jigsaw you desperately wanted to piece together. you loved in his dry british sense of humour – dark, macabre jokes sprinkled with tasteful sarcasm that he saved just for you. on paper, you couldn’t make sense of it, how your heart felt safe with someone so different to you.
“you know that giving a guy a key to your apartment means things are getting serious right? like, way more serious than a stupid label…”
lando stood in your kitchen, patiently brewing you a cup of tea – strong and dark with the tiniest dash of milk, just the way you liked it, while you scrounged around in the cupboards for the shortbread you bought on a whim just in case you had visitors, though rare it did happen from time to time. why the fuck did I put them up there, you muttered under your breath. lando placed down the teaspoon he’d been drumming on your countertop and came to your rescue, his warm hand resting on you lower back as he reached up beside your head and plucked the shortbread from the top shelf with ease.
“short arse.”
“prick.” you quipped back, snatching the delicious snack from his hand and skipping away.
“and to answer your question – no, i don’t think giving you a key means anything but being smart because it saves me having to come all the way down here to unlock the door for you... because you're here allll the time,” your drawling tone earned a pinch to the ribs as you launched onto the sofa, lando following closely behind.
“i’m here all the time because you call me, miss ‘i’m scared of the dark and need a big, strong man to look after me’,” lando mocked in a high pitched voice, causing you to scoff into the hot cup of tea nestled in your hands.
“big feels generous…”
a shocked expression swept across lando’s face – eyebrows raised as he playfully brushed off your burn, “ooh does it now?” his attitude turning cocky in the blink of an eye.
“i don’t think that’s how you felt last week in monaco – just saying,” he shrugged before taking an exaggerative sip from his mug, your eyes suspiciously narrowed but the smile itching the corners of your mouth threatened to give you away.
“admit it.”
"no way!”
“come oooon, admit that i’m big or i’m not watching vanderpump with you.”
lando quickly grabbed the remote control from the coffee table in the midst of his ultimatum and held it above his messy head of curls as you carelessly shuffled into his tracksuit-clad lap, determined to take back what belonged to you.
“don’t you dare threaten me, norris – i have so much dirt on you so you do not want to push me…” you couldn't be serious if you tried.
"all the dirt you have on me includes you, my sweet girl so do your worst,” he taunted with a whisper, his smug smile making your eyes roll.
he had no idea who he was dealing with.
“three words; facetime in singapore… or maybe you need me to re-jog your memory?” lando’s face dropped in disbelief, dragging his bottom lip between his two front teeth at the memory but as he peered into your playful eyes, a dubious scoff puffed from his mouth.
"pfft, you wouldn’t do it…”
“oh baby,” you mocked, hands pressed to his tight chest as you settled into his lap, eliciting a groan when you looked down at him, “try me and find out..”
lando's eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond as his head lulled back in defeat, placing the remote on your side of the sofa, “you win.”
“i always win.”
lando softly hummed, tilting his head with a smirk, “nah ‘cause after all that, who’s side of the sofa are you on?” the proud smile lit up his handsome face and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how goofy and beautiful he looked admiring his handy work.
“so you see, i win. and maybe you can too.”
“oh, i’m definitely winning.” you leaned in with a smile and pressed a firm kiss to his perfect lips, melting into his touch. the one thing you knew for sure was that you could kiss him all day, every day, maybe for the rest of your life.
lando was the first to come up for air, eyes blurry and heart shaped while you took a couple more seconds to return to the real world, begrudgingly opening them to see the sweetest human being staring right back. the sigh he exhaled was so deep that it reverberated through your bones, worrying you a little until his hands brushed down your sides and the smile etched on his face remained.
“why are you being such a chicken about us being together?”
“i’m not being a chicken, i’m just being realistic,” you whispered, desperately wanting to change the subject, “... your eyes look really pretty.”
lando chuckled, “i know they are so why don’t you want to wake up to them every morning and tell me that, huh? because i wanna do that.”
“tell yourself that you have pretty eyes?”
it was lando’s turn to eye roll and plant a soft smack to your backside, “such a smartarse.”
“you love it.”
“yeah i do and i love you sooooo…” lando nudged gently, searching for an answer that would ease his fear of losing you.
“soooo…” you mimicked but quickly shied away from his intense gaze, “i’m in love with you too, you dumbarse but we’re weird and so different to one another and i feel like people aren't going to understand us and ruin everything... what do you think?”
you hadn't even realised that you'd started chewing through the black varnish on your nails until lando gently grasped your wrist and laced his fingers with yours. he sighed and kissed the back of your hand – the pause in conversation gave him time to gather his thoughts while the circles he drew into your palm with the pad of his thumb calmed your racing mind.
lando answered hundreds of questions every day but he was struggling to think of a time when his response to a question held this much meaning. actions meant everything to you, and he couldn't wait to hold your hand in public and not be afraid of getting caught sneaking kisses in the paddock when the two of you were meant to be working, but words were a good place to start.
“what i think is that we love each other, yeah? and what i know is that i don't give a shit what other people think because you're fucking hot and i love being weird with you, my scary little angel of death,” he teased, tickling your sides until tears ran down your cheeks and you succumbed to his embrace, face buried in his neck.
“i love being weird with you too.”
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shout out to mar (@percervall) for the prompt! more writing...
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todomochi-uwu · 3 months ago
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“Hey, you up?”  B.C
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Pairing: Bang Chan x reader
Genre: Angst, Smut
Warnings: This content is for a mature audience
Synopsis: Don't wanna end this game Hope it goes for eternity Let's not go official, we can keep the "You & Me" Don't ask, "What are we?"
Author's notes: This is sad and steamy. It's been quite some time, sorry. Hope you like it.
Masterlist 
If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee ☕
“Hey, you up?”  
Nights like this always start the same. Same message, same reply, same outcome. Every. Single. Time. And every time you end up the same way. Tangled in your cold bed sheets, staring at ceiling, while he’s quick to look for his clothes and get out as quick as possible. A long time ago you had tried to get him to stay, but now you know it is a lost cause. Chan would never stay over, because staying over is for people in relationships, and he doesn’t do relationships.  
“I’ve never liked labels, if we are having fun, why spoilt it with technicalities?”, he said.  
Things started with you being naive enough to believe that sex would be enough for your fragile heart. Maybe you could get closer to him little by little, you thought, maybe he would grow feelings (well, at least you did) maybe, maybe, maybe...   
Sex with Chan is great, mind-blowing, you’d never had someone who was so focused on your body, on what you like and what sends you over the edge. It was like he had memorized every single nerve of your body, knowing where to touch, where to suck, like or bite. It was everything he did that made you almost addicted to him; the way his fingers would reach places yours could never even imagine; how his tongue and lips seemed to be able to go on forever, never once complaining; the way his hips and his cock would move and thrust sending you into heaven every single time. Chan was a giver in bed, always making sure to put you first while in bed, many orgasms, and blissful hours at a time, but as soon as you were done, he went back to being the same detached man you know.   
And while at first, you could somewhat stand this kind of relationship, it was slowly destroying you on the inside. So, now you lay there, staring at your phone screen, debating yourself. Would it be worth it? At least for a few hours, to be in his arms until your little bubble pops once he’s had his fill. Saving your soul and your mental peace would be a wise decision, but you are weak, weak and in love.  
“Fuck, Chris!” You pulled his hair, his head between your legs, while his lips are wrapped around your clit and his fingers piston in and out of your hole. His other hand keeps your legs open while you thrash them around, unable to keep them still.  
His fingers change into their angle, making you throw your head back, now his tongue kitten licks your small bundle of nerves, “Common, pretty girl. Cum one more time and I’ll fuck you the way you like.” His lips sucked harshly.  
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, please, please, please.” You didn't even know what you were begging for, “Don’t stop, Chan.” Tears threatened to come out, it was too much.   
“You are doing so good, such a good girl, my perfect little slut. Come on, baby cum.” His tongue thrusting itself into you, sending you over the edge. Your back arched and you let out such a sound you were sure the neighbours would complain in the morning, but you couldn't care less right now.  
Eyes closed and desperate for air, your legs numb and a tingly feeling between them, Chan kept lapping at your centre, slurping all your juices, overstimulating you. Your mind was in complete bliss, making you unaware of the producer’s next plans. He was quick to turn you around, grabbing your hips and putting you in four.  
“Fucking hell, you have no idea how much I love your ass.” He said as he spanked your cheeks a couple of times, leaving a dark imprint on both. You moaned and shoved your face into your pillows, you could feel your juices start to spill down your leg.  
“Please, please, fuck me, Chanie.” You wiggled your hips, trying to entice him.  
He grabbed his cock and rubbed your clit with it, “Yeah? You want my cock, baby?” He pressed it against your cunt, pushing a bit in, but it wasn’t enough, “Beg for it, love.”  
You whined, your skin was on fire, and your legs trembled with need, “please, daddy, I’ve been a good girl, please, please, I need your cock, plea...” You screamed.   
Chan shoved himself with a single thrust. Throwing his head back and grabbing your hips tightly, he didn’t give you any time to get used to. “Shit, you are so fucking tight.” His pelvis banged the tender skin of your ass, his balls slapping your clit, and his cock hitting against your cervix. His rhythm was too much, but you wouldn’t dare escape it.  
He leaned himself into you, put his hand right beside your head. He could see how red your face was, the way your mouth let out at sins and how tears ran down your face. And he was loving every single second of it. “Who is making you feel this good, baby?”  
You couldn't even answer, gibberish and moans came out of you, but that wasn’t enough for you. He changed the angle of his thrusts, hitting a sensitive spot inside you, making you scream, his hand went right to your clit, rubbing it in circles, “Answer me. Who?” You tried once again, but nothing clear came out.  
Tired of this, Chan straightens himself, taking you with him. Your back against his chest, his hand choking your neck while his thrust got even quicker, his mouth right next to your ear. “I know you are nothing but a dumb slut, but I’m talking to you, and I expect an answer. Now.” Thrust. “Tell me.” Thrust. “Who’s fucking you this good?”.  He bit you, marking you.  
“You, Chan!” Your thighs burned and you were so close, your juices now ran down his balls, and you felt like passing out. He pushed you to the bed, pressing himself against your back.  
“This pussy is mine, you hear me? No one else can have it.” His thrusts were becoming quicker, shorter and desperate, he was also close. “Only I get to fuck it, you are my whore, no one else’s.” Thrust. “Don’t you dare forget that.”  
Nonsense and his name kept coming out of you like a prayer, everything building up, until the tight knot in your stomach finally snapped, juices squirting everywhere. He wasn’t there yet, so he kept going, overstimulating you, sending your nerves into overdrive.  
“Just a bit more, Babygirl, hold on, yes, you are such a good girl, goddamn how much I love fucking you. Oh god!” And like that, you felt his warmth filling you up, making you cum once again. Slowly, he pulls his cock out, his seed spilling out of you and into your sheets. Your legs finally give in, and you fall flat out into the mattress.   
Your brain is somewhere else, trying to come back down, and Chan is right next to you. His left arm is in his face, he licks his lips in dehydration, his chest falls up and down quickly and his right hand holds tightly onto your thigh, trying to ground himself.   
And just as fast as Chan comes, he goes. He straightens himself, sitting down at the edge of the bed, he’s quiet and distant, looking for his clothes. Not once does the turn to look at you. “Hey, are you okay?”   
“Yeah.” You whisper, laying on your side, facing away from him.  
“Good.” He pulls his pants up, and his shirt next.   
As he’s about to make his great escape, all reason flies out of your head.   
“Hey, Chris?”  
“Yes?”  
“What are we?”  
You wait a few seconds, but nothing comes of his mouth, you have an answer.   
“Yeah, I knew it. Goodbye, Chris.”  
He doesn’t dare anything else, so he leaves.  
Everything had changed in that second, and you both know it.  
_________________  
It had been weeks since that night. All messages had gone unanswered. You were no longer lying in bed wondering if you should do it, you didn't. It was now Chan who tried to reach out.  
“Hey, you up?”  
“Hey, you up?”  
“Hey, you up?”  
“Hey, umm I don’t know if you are busy, but call me when you can. Or text me.”  
“Hey, baby haven’t seen you in a while. Text me. Please.”  
“Hey, did you change your number, and I forgot to save it or...”   
“Hey, I went to that café you like so much, you are right, it’s really good, we should go once you are not so busy. Text me.”  
“Hey, did I do something? Are you mad at me? Cause if I did, please let’s talk it out.”  
“Hey, listen, I don’t want to lose you over something so stupid. Call me. Please.”  
You can’t lose something you never had; you think. Work and friends kept you busy enough so you didn’t think about him in the day, nights were much more complicated, and there were days you were tempted to go back, longing for him, for his touch and his warmth, but you knew it would only make you feel worse.   
Han was the best friend in the world, taking you out and making you break out of your shell little by little, some days it was a party, others it was just the two of you. Some days you felt like you were at the top of the world, whereas others you could only weep in his arms until you passed out from the pain.  
_________________ 
You looked at yourself in the mirror. Makeup and hair done, high heels and heavy earrings, and even though you were trying to erase that fact from your head, his favourite dress on. Han had chosen it for you, and you couldn’t tell him why you had avoided that specific piece of clothing.   
“You ready, sweetie?” He peeked into the room. You nodded, not sure of it.   
_________________ 
Music was blasting out and bright coloured lights covered the entire place. The drink in your hand had served its purpose, you were drunk. In the middle of the dance floor, Han has his hands on your waist, keeping you close while you dance. He whispers sweet things in your ear, while you giggle. It wasn’t something new, this scene had occurred on past occasions, even escalating, but Han and you never dug too deep into it, kisses and casual affairs had once been part of your friendship, and you both were comfortable with that.  
He turned you around, looking into your eyes, he placed a small kiss on your forehead, next on the tip of your nose, and your lips. A simple peck. You put your hands around his neck, swaying your hips, throwing your head back, enjoying the moment.  
“What you thinking about, pretty?” He whispered against your lips.  
“Nothing in particular.” You whisper back.  
He pulls you closer, your head against his neck, and his lips leave small kisses on yours. You feel at ease.  
Until you open your eyes.   
And there he is.  
A drink in his hand, he’s looking at you. His eyes burned holes into Jisung’s back. All air escapes your lungs.  
“Ji, he’s, he’s here.” You whisper-yelled, your pulse going up.  
“What? Chan? Are you sure?”  
“Jisung, he’s here.” Your tongue twists and your fists tighten around his clothes, “He’s here, I don’t know what to do, I, I, I’m not ready.”   
“Okay, calm down, I’m getting you out of here.” He grabs your hand, quick to push his way through the crowd. You make it out of the place, and the cold air hits you, helping regain your breath. “Okay, give me a second, I’m getting the car, wait here.” You try to protest, but he’s gone before you can.   
You stand there, shivering, praying he doesn’t find you, but you smell his cologne before you can even see him.  
 “I thought you and Jisung were only friends.” His tone is harsh, making you flinch, “Is he the reason you’ve been ignoring me?”  
“We are just friends.”  
“Friends don’t kiss like that.”  
“Yeah? Then what the hell were we doing, Chan? Because we sure as hell were not dating.” Your turned to him.   
“Why haven't you answered my texts?”  
“I’ve been busy.”  
“With him?” Venom spits out of his mouth, he’s way past furious. You know he’s jealous, but that throws you off.  
“No, Chan. I have a life out of our little flings, and you know it.”  
“So, you are too busy to answer me, but aren’t too busy to come here and throw yourself into Jisung?”  
Okay. You are done.  
“What do you want me to say, Chan? You have no right to come here and demand an answer. You are not my boyfriend. You and me, we are nothing.”  
“That’s a damn lie and you know it.”  
“Do I? What are we? Because you made it quite clear, you like me Chan, but you don’t love me.”  
“The fact that I don’t like labels, doesn’t...”  
“Oh, cry me a fucking river, Christopher. You don’t want me, but you also don’t want anyone else to have me. You are so fucking cruel.” You cried, tired of everything, of him, “I need to move on, I need it. Please, let me go.”  
Han's car horn ranged loudly, arriving just in time to save you. “I’ve gotta go. Goodbye, Chris.” Same words as that night, the night he lost you. They ran on Chan’s ears.   
He grabbed your hand, tightly, not wanting you to leave, “please, please let’s talk, I don’t want this to end.” Small droplets came out of his eyes, startling you, but you stood your ground.  
“Chan, let me go please.” You tugged.  
“I don’t want to.” He pulled.  
“Don’t make it even harder, please, my heart can’t take it anymore.” You whispered.  
“Give me a chance, please. I’m begging you.  
“No, Chan. I already know how this will end, and I can’t take it.”  
He shook his head, “please.”  
...  
“Can you promise you will be my boyfriend?” Plain and simple.  
“What?” His eyes widened.  
“Can you promise to give us a title? No more casual sex? Will you make it official?”   
You wait a few seconds, but nothing comes of his mouth, you have an answer.   
“Yeah, I knew it. Goodbye, Chris.”  
Everything had ended in that second, and you both know it. 
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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 4 months ago
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Aaron having a rough day because of too much paperwork and asks reader for permission to hug her at work?
Like super cute and special little moment - totally interrupted by someone walking in or saying “aww” / “finally!”
༉‧₊˚. 𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫
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— pairings: aaron hotchner x plus size!reader
— summary: though things between you and aaron weren't official yet, he was in need of a hug (yours of course).
— warnings: literally nothing honestly besides aaron being overworked and tired + fluffiest fluff!!
— wc: 725
⋆ a/n: to me fluff fics are like the light at the end of a very smutty tunnel, so here's this one to balance out all of my aaron smut that i've written 😭
masterlist | AO3
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Aaron’s head was throbbing.
The space between his eyes rang dull and his body felt weak, his needy joints craving the sweet release of his bed back home, but most importantly, he needed you. He needed to hold you, needed to feel your plush body warm his harder one. 
He casts a lazy glance to the stack of paperwork before his eyes gazed out of his open blinds, and seeing you sitting there with headphones in your ears working leisurely on case files caused a feeling of contentment to settle in his gut.
Aaron couldn't just go down there and wrap you in his arms; things between you were too… confusing. You were lovers but not at the same time; he held you sometimes, texted you, and got lunch with you, but there was no label. It was like there was an unspoken agreement. As old as Aaron was, he was pretty sure this was a “situationship” – cleverly and knowledgeably put by Penelope.
There was no way around this without using his ‘boss’ card.
Your workflow was interrupted by a paper ball being thrown at the back of your head.
“Real mature, Morgan.” You grunt, bending over at the waist to reach down and grab it. “I think you got more things to worry about than a ball of paper, sweetness.” Morgan's head cocks forward a bit, gesturing at Hotch’s office. “The boss man’s already said your name once.”
You look up to see Aaron standing there with that familiar scowl on his face as he stares right back at you. “Could I see you in my office for a moment?” Aaron repeats once more. “Oh shit.” You mutter to yourself with a sigh.
You practically scramble up the stairs to follow him when you see him disappear back into his office without a casting glance behind him.
When you step through the door, Aaron has both hands planted on his desk, his head hanging low and eyes pinched shut.
Your tense demeanor melts and you approach him with concerned eyes and furrowed brows. “Aaron?” You ask and place a hand on his shoulder. You could feel his body relax under your touch, and he sighs. “Are you okay?”
He looks almost hesitant, but he turns his head so he faces you.
“I - forgive me if I’m being inappropriate, but can I hug you?”
The question catches you off guard. He had never been so forward before.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” 
Aaron searched your face for any lie or hesitancy, but he found nothing but your soft smile looking back at him.
The first thing that you notice when he wraps you in his body is that he’s warm, so warm and he smells delightful. You bury your nose in his neck and shyly inhale his cologne. It’s pine and cedarwood and completely him.
He relaxes into you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist, the other cradling your head in his hand. 
“I’m so tired.” Aaron murmurs into your ear, and the warm air of his breath sends a shiver down your spine and your grip on him tightens. You frown at his words, your own fingers reach up to stroke through the shaved part of his neck, gently massaging the area. “I know, I know, and I’m sorry.” You say quietly.
Holding you makes Aaron really start to regret the limited amount of sleep he had been getting recently. 
The air in his office was calm, the only thing you could hear was Aaron’s occasional sighs and two shy hearts hammering together nervously.
“Sir - Oh!” Penelope stopped before she even began, the woman almost tripping over her heels in shock. 
Aaron and you all but jump away from each other; there’s a bashful smile on your face while Aaron just looks plain old irritated. He doesn’t mean to glare at the technical analyst.
“I uh - there’s a case.” Was all she could say before shuffling over to put the case file on his desk. 
When she leaves, there is a moment of quietness shared between the two of you before you hear a resounding ‘I told you!’ ring throughout the Bullpen below. You gaze out the window to see Penelope at Derek’s desk.
You can’t help but laugh all the while Aaron just grumbles.
A fine contrast if you do say so yourself.
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ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna
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staytinyville · 3 months ago
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Towards the Light Masterlist (2K Followers Special)
↣ Summary: You’ve lived eight different lives, all of which they couldn’t save you. Now they will do all they can to keep you alive and within their arms. 
↣ Characters/Pairing: Fallen Angel!Ateez x Reader
↣ Genre: Mature
↣ AU/Trope info: Fallen Angel!Au, Reincarnation!Au
↣ Word Count: N/A
↣ Warnings: Topics of suicide in one of the one-shots, mental illness, violence, marital abuse and violence, murder, smut (More warnings apply within each chapter)
↣ A/N: This was just one of the few stories I was inspired to write after my concert. It was one of the greatest things I got the chance of experiencing and I am so excited to see them again. I don’t know when but I am hoping to. Tell me what were your favorite parts of the concert!
Staytinyville’s Permanent Taglist
↣ Affiliates: @cultofdionysusnet , @cromernet , @monsterfvckersunited , @pirateeznet , @k-labels , @k-vanity
↣ Special Thanks: Thank you @saradika-graphics for the amazing banners! Please go check her out if you have specific banners in mind. She is great!
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Was there really someone watching over you? Someone who would protect you from any harm? The idea that someone–something–would drop everything just to see you live another day, was beyond comprehensible. Was their love for you so powerful they would ruin their grace for you?
**
You could remember the time when things seemed to have changed within your soul. It had been when your family was slaughtered within your home by the invaders. Or could it have been when you had gotten sick and landed in the hospital? No, it must have been when you proverked those men to attack you. No–No–
There were so many things that led you to be confused when you truly felt like things were taking a turn. You weren’t too sure what was real and what was just a story you might have heard. You couldn’t even decide if you were a real person living in the modern day world. The only thing that kept you going was the fact that others still acknowledged you at one point or another. 
You didn’t live in a village. Didn’t live in Victorian era London. You for sure weren’t married. 
You lived on the 12th floor of a high rise building. You had a fridge that held all the food you would eat for the week. You had a fat cat that owlishly blinked at you from its perch on the window every time you came in frazzled from work. You had a plant in a pot that would sometimes smell from the water you had given it the day before. 
No–No. You lived in modern day times where genocide was a war crime. Where medicine was now able to contract a sickness you might have. Where women had more voice than ever before. 
Where looking over the side of a building caused for concern from your peers because suicide was not something to be taken lightly. 
It was modern day times, and yet you still always thought about the past. 
You weren’t a skeptic but you were a paranoid person for some reason. You felt like you were being watched for years–even going as far as seeking help for schizophrenia. But your paranoia never changed, however your feelings did. 
You grew used to looking behind your shoulder in hopes of catching whoever was looking at you. Feeling the shivers go down your spine as someone gets too close. But the moment you let your guard down, that was when the dreams started. 
One by one you saw them each in your dreams–each more different then the last. But still always watching you.
1960s - Jongho - October 1
1910s - Wooyoung - October 5
1880s - Mingi - October 9
1830s - San - October 13
1740s - Yeosang - October 17
1700s - Yunho - October 21
1690s - Seonghwa - October 25
1620s - Hongjoong - October 29
2024 - ATEEZ - October 31
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Be sure to apply to my Masterlist on Google docs if you would like to be tagged in the series. I was gonna do Kinktober but bro I didn’t catch up quickly. I don’t have time because I’m going on vacation in October so yeah. My smut writing is trash atm bro. I can’t
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jerzwriter · 2 months ago
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Hey guys! It's been busy, and I have not been feeling good about writing much lately, but I have a few Smuttember requests I wanted to get done. This is the first one, based on this ask, jealousy for Ethan x Kaycee. Thanks for the ask, Nonny. I hope you enjoy it.
Book: Open Heart (Book 2 Timeline) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Kaycee MacClennan (F!MC), Tobias Carrick, Clarissa Stanton (F!OC) Rating: Mature Words: 2,500 ish Summary: Everyone is crazy about the new addition to the team. Dr. Clarissa Stanton is a rising star in the medical community, and Edenbrook is lucky to have her. She seems to warm up to everyone, well... almost everyone... and there is someone she's warming up to a little too much, and it's not sitting well with Kaycee. See how it all works out.
A/N: Participating in @choicesprompts Smuttember. #27 Jealousy, but also #17, Reclaiming, too. I didn't have much time to edit - so forgive errors. :)
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“Dr. Stanton, please report to the Diagnostic Team office. Dr. Stanton, Diagnostic Team office.”
It was innocent enough. Just one of the dozens of announcements heard over the PA system at Edenbrook Hospital on any given day. It shouldn’t have caused any alarm, but these days, just the mention of Dr. Stanton’s name made Kaycee’s blood turn cold. She clenched the pencil in her hand so tightly that it snapped in half, taking her and a nurse standing nearby by surprise.
“Dr. MacClennan,” the nurse smiled. “What did that pencil ever do to you?”
Kaycee replied with a pleasant smile, attributing the pencil assault to a lack of sleep and voluminous quantities of caffeine, but she knew that wasn't the truth. The innocent pencil was collateral damage in the cold war taking place between her and Dr. Clarissa Stanton, a war Kaycee was growing tired of.  
Clarissa was a new fellow at Edenbrook. She had come to them from “the most distinguished residency program in the U.S.,” as Ethan reminded everyone. Daily. “It was quite the coup for us to land her,” he had told the diagnostic team triumphantly as Tobias made an off-color comment about 'landing.' Kaycee had heard of her; of course, her research had been the talk of the medical community for the past couple of years, and she was excited to have the opportunity to work together. Still, Tobias’s comment piqued her interest, so she quickly Googled her name.
Kaycee raised a brow when she saw the image load on her phone. Clarissa was striking – a face that looked like the girl next door if the girl next door had been a teenage model. Long, light brown hair and big, brown eyes that managed to be innocent and sultry at the same time. Her LinkedIn photo showed her propped up on a desk, her legs crossed and wholly swallowed up by her lab coat. There wasn’t a skirt in sight.
She would definitely have to warn her new colleague about Tobias, but none of this mattered. What mattered was Dr. Stanton’s research on off-label use of psychotropic medications, which had led to breakthroughs in more conditions than Kaycee could recall. What mattered was the impassioned testimony she had made before Congress recently, which landed her in the news cycle for weeks on end. She was a rising star... a once-in-a-generation talent. And because God clearly played favorites, of course, she was beautiful too.
Later that day, Kaycee had lunch with Tobias, and she warned her friend to keep things professional and don’t dare scare her away. Little did Kaycee know that the beautiful newcomer was one of the few women on the planet who were immune to the charms of one Dr. Carrick. No, Clarissa had made it clear from day one that she had her sights set on someone else.
She had a friendly, approachable demeanor, bordering on flirtatious, and she assimilated into both the team and the hospital with ease. Her well-earned air of confidence sometimes bordered on arrogance, but she was charming enough that no one seemed to care. Clarissa was impressive, and everyone was smitten. She seemed happy to be a friend to all, with one exception. Kaycee.
It wasn’t for Kaycee’s lack of trying. In fact, she had to stop herself from fangirling when the new doctor first arrived. But while Clarissa ate up attention from others, when it came to Kaycee, she seemed annoyed and did her best to distance herself.
When Kaycee pointed this out, even to her best friends, they insisted Kaycee was imagining things as they, too, were taken in. She resigned herself to being the sole outsider in the Dr. Stanton fan society, but she could still learn from her, and they could still work together. There was no way Kaycee wouldn’t be supportive of another up-and-coming woman in the medical field; they faced enough and needed to stick together. But there was one thing Kaycee couldn’t continue to ignore.
“There she is!” The normally curmudgeonly Dr. Ramsey beamed when Clarissa appeared for the team’s morning meeting. “And what brilliant theories are you going to grace us with today, Dr. Stanton?”
Kaycee snapped another pencil in half under the desk. Tobias, the only one who noticed, raised a brow. Leaning in close, he whispered, “Pencils are no longer safe in your presence, MacClennan. What gives?”
She ignored him, but she couldn’t ignore the way Clarissa hovered close to Ethan throughout their rounds- again - today. Or the way she asked questions and made comments that felt just a little too… familiar. She watched as Clarissa’s hand lingered on Ethan’s shoulder just a little longer than it should and bit her lip when she erupted in laughter every time Ethan cracked a joke... bad jokes.
Still, Kaycee kept it together. She was a professional, after all, and she had nothing to worry about. Her relationship with Ethan was solid, even if their relationship was a secret to ninety percent of the planet. Her residency was ending in just months, he reminded her constantly, and they’d be Instagram official very soon. But right now, a few months felt like decades away.
That day turned out to be particularly grueling. Kaycee had been assigned to work in oncology with a miserable attending who did everything they could to undermine her at every step of the way. If that weren't enough, she learned the case she had been working on for the past week, the one she knew she was close to breaking, was miraculously solved by none other than Ethan and Clarissa by way of two doctors discussing it in the third-floor lounge where she had gone for a moment of refuge.
“You should have seen them working together,” one doctor said. “It was seamless – like they could read each other’s minds.”
The second doctor concurred. “They have the makings of a medical power couple for sure. Edenbrook is already on the map, but they could make it the favored destination.”
Kaycee swallowed hard. That stung... a lot.
She decided to check in on one more patient before she left for the day. Mrs. Withers was just the ray of sunshine Kaycee needed right now, always bright and cheerful no matter what was taking place. Kaycee needed some of that magic to lift her spirits, and it worked... temporarily. She was about to step out of Mrs. Wither’s room when she heard their voices in the hall.
“I still can’t believe we solved the Dorrant case,” Ethan all but sang. “I was beginning to think that would be one of our rare dead ends.”
No matter that I told him I was close to solving it last night, Kaycee thought as her jaw tightened.
“There are no dead ends, Ethan,” Clarissa ensured. “Only angles that haven’t been examined. We're clever enough to find those angles; don't ever doubt it!"
“I’ve got to admit, I love your attitude.”
Kaycee shuddered; she could hear the smile in his voice, and she was about to break that case!
“Hey, we’re both leaving work,” Clarissa started. “What do you say we go grab a drink to discuss... future opportunities.”
Ethan didn't so much as hesitate before accepting the offer, and when Kaycee stepped out of the patient’s room she watched them step into the elevator together. It felt like a punch in the gut. She didn’t like when that little green monster clawed at her, but right he was drawing blood. She felt invisible, she felt lost, and the one person who could make her feel better was part of the reason why, and now, he was out with Clarissa.
Kaycee didn't go home. Instead, she took advantage of having the key to Ethan's penthouse, and that's where she waited. When Ethan returned to his apartment later that night, Kaycee was there – wearing a hole in his carpet as she paced back and forth. He walked in and glanced at the clock, then Kaycee. He knew something was amiss.
“Kaycee,” he droned, dropping his keys onto the marble counter with a clang. “I didn’t expect you to be here tonight.”
“Oh, I’m sure you didn’t,”  she spat, her firey eyes laced with a touch of pain. “I saw you leave the hospital with Clarissa. You two looked really... close.”
Ethan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kaycee, you know it isn't like that. We were just sharing a drink to discuss work. That’s all.”
But his answer did not suffice. She crossed her arms defensively before her chest, and her brows knitted together as she stood before him in the kitchen.
“Do you not see the way she looks at you? Or how she hangs on your every word? And she’s not like that with anyone else, Ethan, only with you!”
Ethan took a step closer. “Kaycee, Clarissa is a colleague. You have nothing to be worried about.”
“Don’t I?” she asked, disappointed with the level of desperation in her voice. “I was just a colleague once. Harper was once your colleague... don’t tell me she’s just your colleague and expect it to provide any comfort!”  Her anxiety was palpable as her eyes welled up with tears. “Ethan, I know it takes more than a pretty face to turn your head. But Clarissa isn’t just beautiful; she’s brilliant. She’s a rising star! Just the thing to make a sapiosexual like you take note!”
“Sapiosexual?” he chuckled.
“Don’t act like you’re unfamiliar with the term! You don’t get it, Ethan! She’s out there being all flirtatious with you, and I’m forced to keep our relationship hidden in the shadows like it's a dirty secret! Every time I see you two together, it feels like I’m the one who’s invisible. Like I'm the one who can be replaced!"
His eyes softened when he saw the extent of Kaycee’s pain, and he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. “No one will ever replace you, Kaycee. No one. You’re it for me.” His voice was low, commanding, and sent shivers down her spine.
She bit her lip, too proud to allow the tears pooling in her eyes to fall. She took a cleansing breath and summoned her courage. “Then why do I feel like I’m fighting for you?”
His hand encircled her wrist, gripping it just tight enough to keep her from pulling away. “You feel that way because you’ve been bottling this up inside instead of coming to me. You haven’t given me a chance to remind you of what we are.” He leaned down, his lips brushing hers. “Let me remind you, Kaycee,” he whispered. “Let me remind you of who we are.”
Kaycee’s breath hitched; resistance was futile as he brought his lips back to hers, kissing her slowly, deliberately, as if she were the only other person alive. All the jealousy, frustration, and angst that had been consuming her melted away with that kiss, the heat between them igniting more with every passing second. He touched her with a wanton hunger that made her knees buckle. She leaned back against the kitchen counter so she wouldn’t fall.
This pleased Ethan, who was taking her in with a devilish grin; his hands began to roam over her body. Gripping her hips and pulling her against him, he lifted her onto the counter as she moaned softly, the frustration of the day unraveling as his hands claimed her and his lips traced down her neck to the sensitive skin of her chest. He unbuttoned her blouse.
“You think I want anyone else?” Ethan growled, his breath hot against her. “I’m yours, Kaycee. Every inch of me.”
Her hands fisted in his shirt, and she pulled him close, her body arching into his as she kissed him, biting his lip, relishing the control he offered her. He let out a low, primal groan as she worked her magic, taking back what was rightfully hers.
She hopped off the counter and led him to the living room, pushing him back on the couch. He didn’t fight her; this was just what he wanted. She shoved him into the cushions, straddling him in one swift movement, her blonde locks falling all around them. The air between them sizzled with a raw, palpable heat, and his heart nearly stopped when she lowered her hand and slipped her panties to the side. His hands gripped her thighs, grounding himself in the reality, the intensity of being inside the woman he loved. He swore all the air had escaped him. He was home.
“Do you think Clarissa could ever do this to you?” Kaycee whispered breathlessly in his ear, her hips grinding into him in a way that made him forget his own name.
“Not a fucking chance,” he rasped, pulling her closer, his lips devouring hers in a breathless kiss.
She kissed back harder, pouring proudly taking back all that belonged to her. She pressed her body against his as if to remind him she was the only one who could have him like this. His hands roamed up her back, their delicate touch sending chills down her spine. He pulled her closer to him as his hips lurched up to meet her. He needed her in every possible way; she was the only one who could set him on fire like this.
“Say it,” she demanded, her breath ragged, her lips swollen from his kisses. “Say it!”
“You’re mine, Kaycee,” he growled, his voice rough and heavy with desire. “You’re mine, and I’m yours... no one else matters.”
A satisfied smile spread on her lips, and his hands cupped her breasts as she threw her head back triumphantly. Heart, mind, and soul satiated; her body quivered around him, and sounds of pleasure filled the air as she found her release. Ethan’s movements became more erratic as he moved inside her; his eyes screwed closed to shut out the world, focusing solely on how they were joined, how he loved her, needed her, and wanted her more than anything he had ever known. He let out a cry as he reached his peak – his mind going blank as he emptied deep inside her. They collapsed together, silent, gasping softly as they tried to catch their breath, lost in the rapture they found themselves in.
There was no longer any doubt between them. He reached up and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, his finger slowly caressing the curve of Kaycee’s precious face.
“Feeling any better,” he smiled.
“Much,” she grinned, nuzzling under his arm. “I love you, Ethan.”
“I love you, too.”
Sleep came quickly after, as they were lost in a world of their own creation.
~~~~
The following morning, Tobias was in the Diagnostic Team office when Clarissa came barreling in, two steaming hot cups of coffee in her hands.
“For me,” he smiled playfully. “You shouldn’t have.”
“Good," she grinned. "Because I didn’t." She placed one cup in front of Ethan's seat.
"Just for him?" Tobias questioned.
Clarissa shrugged nonchalantly. "It's to celebrate our win yesterday."
“With Starbucks?” he chuckled, raising his own cup of coffee to his lips. “If you’re trying to impress Ethan, that ain’t gonna do it.”
“What do you mean?” She asked, just as Kaycee stepped into the room, beaming as she placed a cup from Derry Roasters right next to Clarissa's offering.
“Tobias is right,” Kaycee smiled. “You have much to learn.”
Ethan entered the office and took in the scene. “I’m glad to see you’re already pouring over the documents for our next case,” he said sarcastically. “The initiative is heartwarming."
His face softened a bit when he saw Kaycee, who offered a clandestine wink. “Sorry, boss,” she grinned. “We were just discussing something far more important,” she motioned to his place at the table. “Like, what’s your favorite coffee.”
Ethan looked at the two cups, trying to stay diplomatic. "Let's just say I prefer local goodness over corporate greed."
"Damn!" Clarissa mock frowned. "I guess I owe you a cup from Derry's."
"Another time," Ethan smiled, taking a long sip from the cup as Tobias slid the Starbucks his way.
"I'm not as particular," Tobias winked.
They reviewed today's cases, and with marching orders given, Ethan was the first on his feet. He walked with purposeful steps toward Kaycee, placing a kiss atop her head before she had a chance to stand. "Have a good day, sweetheart. I'll meet you for lunch."
Clarissa's eyes went wide, choking on her iced latte. Tobias wore a wicked grin. "I thought you two were under wraps until her residency was over," he smirked. "Jesus! You only have two-and-a-half months left!"
Ethan looked back over his shoulder, a smug smile on his lips. "As if we're not the worst kept secret in Edenbrook anyway." With a wink in Kaycee's direction, he was out the door. Kaycee sat back in her chair. The warmth inside her had nothing to do with her beverage of choice. The stupid grin on her face made that perfectly clear.
"You all right there, MacClennan?" Tobias asked.
"Yes," she replied. "I'm perfect." After all, today was going to be a much better day.
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
Tagging others separately.
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shadowmaat · 5 months ago
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weaponized labels
How, exactly, are Community Labels supposed to work here on the hellsite? And why, in fact, does adding a tag to something suddenly become a community label?
Seeing all the people getting disappeared off this site for unforgivable crimes like- *checks writing on hand*- being a transwoman is chilling and gross. Watching other blogs get nuked for having the "wrong" kind of content is also gross. And not being able to access someone's blog because it "may contain adult content" is absolutely infuriating.
When I reblog something and tag it as En Ess Eff Dubyou all I mean is exactly that: it isn't something safe to be caught looking at while at work. I am not trying to brand OP or the person I reblogged it from as obscene. I'm not trying to get anyone's blog shut down or censored. I'm just trying to pass along a warning to save people at work (or people squicked by sex/nudity) a bit of discomfort.
If someone wants to label their own blog as being "Mature Content" or whatever, that's their choice. But this system where other people can decide a blog is "naughty" is appalling. And it has very much been weaponized against certain groups; something made worse by the fact that tumblr staff not only allows it, but encourages it.*
Labels and tags are meant to be tools to help, not tools to attack and suppress. And yeah, I know there's not much to be done when the whole system is corrupt from the top down (looking at you, Mulletwig), but COME ON. Maybe it's time for another lawsuit or three, since hitting them in their pockets is the only thing they seem to feel.
-
*Look, staff. You can protest and handwring all you want about how you're Good People, Actually, and that it's just a few Bad Actors ruining things, but it's time to admit facts: Your whole system is designed to oppress and silence vulnerable minorities. Your CEO is a Redcap Trumpian who singled out a transwoman and tried to put her on blast. He accused her of lying, opened her up to even more hatred and violence than she was already receiving, and tried to act like diversity's champion while instead proving his own rampant transmisogyny,
The people working on your mod team have been consistently antiqueer for decades, and have used their hate to shut down any voices they find objectionable. It isn't a few "bad apples," it's the whole bunch. Or near enough not to make a difference. They also keep proving that, despite what the TOS would suggest, threats of rape, violence, and death are, in fact, allowed here. Hate groups are welcome here. Palestinians and their supporters, however, are not.
Frankly, Mulletwig isn't even the cause, he's just another symptom. This issue predates his tenure by a wide margin. He makes a convenient target, though. A good distraction. Oh, he definitely needs to be kicked out, but he isn't the only one who needs to go, is he?
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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago
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coming from one of those "born in mid 2000s and is now suddenly an adult, making everyone feel old," people, do you have any resources to learn how to bullshit your way through getting a job with zero experience. cause i cant even put like "babysitting" or anything since covid prevented literally any teenage-typical jobs and i kinda dont know what to put on a resume beyond the university im currently attending and the high school i graduated from. and they still dont teach you this in school even though we've complained for years 😭
Okay my chilluns, listen up. This is how to bullshit your way into a basic 1-page resume even if you think you have absolutely dum-dum-diddlysquat to put on it. I completely feel you, as it's hard as hell to get a job even in the ordinary course of things, and especially when everything seems to want 10 years of experience and a bachelor's degree (and still pays like shit). But you gotta be persistent anyway. So here follows the step-by-step guide of How To Resume:
Open a new Word (or other word-processing software of your choice) document.
Pick a nice, professional-looking font (for the love of God, no Comic Sans). Times New Roman is fine; you don't have to overthink it. My own CV is currently in Perpetua, because it's a nice serif that looks crisp and a little different, but it is still clean and readable. Garamond or Cambria or other starter typefaces are fine too. Make sure it is the right size, usually around 12pt.
Put your full name at the top, centered, in BOLD CAPITALS. Increase the typeface size a few more points on this, to make it stand out and to make it take up space.
Underneath this, in regular-sized text, put your contact information: mailing address if you're comfortable sharing it, or if not, at least your phone number and email address. Use a school email if you have it, and not some weird/in-jokey personal email.
Start a new paragraph. In a slightly smaller font (italic if you want to make it look classy) write a few words about yourself. This should be something like I am a [Major] student at [University] looking for a part-time, entry-level position in [sales, retail, office, etc]. A [year] graduate of [High School] in [City, State], I am [prompt, reliable, detail-oriented, mature, friendly, etc] and a hard worker who is eager to gain experience and positively contribute to your business.
Start a new paragraph. Change the alignment from Center to Left. Create a new heading in bold underline labeled Education.
Under this, fill in your education (college first, followed by high school). Include the institution name, city, and state, the year you graduated or expect to graduate, any honors or awards, any extracurriculars, any grade-point averages if they're good (i.e. 3.0 and above), and your expected major in college.
Start a new paragraph. Create another heading: Experience.
This is where you put absolutely anything you can think of (in chronological order, most recent first and counting backward). Did you volunteer for something ever in your life? Put it down! (Title of work, dates, location, brief description of work). Did you do yard work for someone for a weekend? Put it down! Were you (or are you) part of a student club or organization in high school or university? Have you organized or taken part in any local initiatives in your community or neighborhood? Put it down! Basically, absolutely any kind of work, paid or unpaid, that might be relevant, regardless of how long it was or when it took place.
Under that, put the new heading/paragraph Skills and Interests.
Have you worked with Microsoft Word, Outlook, PowerPoint, Adobe, Photoshop? Put it down! People love that shit! Do you use social media and/or know how to work it better than the average grandma? Put 'er down! You get the idea. Think of anything in your daily life that can be put in Job Language and then see if you can do that. You are in university; do you have any projects, papers, or other things that you're proud of? Have you successfully managed a (gasp) group project? Do you make any kind of art? Are you a registered voter who has taken part in civic/political organizations, drives, or events? (If not, REGISTER TO VOTE! This is your angry grandmother speaking). All of that can go down. Even if it's not job experience per se, it's life experience and shows that you are someone who is engaged with the world and working to gain more.
Last paragraph and heading: References. Ask a few trusted adults who know you well and aren't related to you, such as a favorite high school teacher or a university faculty member/degree advisor, if they'd be willing to serve as referees. Put down their full names, titles/place of work, email addresses, and phone numbers.
Voila! You have a full page resume, probably even a little more if you're lucky. Proofread, make sure the spacing is even and the alignment is right, it doesn't look weird, the text is a consistent size, it's all the same color, there are no glaring typos or grammatical errors, etc. etc. Save it as a PDF.
Boom. Done. You are now a Job Hunting Maestro.
If you get an interview, you don't need to pretend that you have tons of experience or that you're something you're not, but you can present what you ARE in a positive light anyway. Don't apologize for yourself or play yourself down pre-emptively; be confident about yourself and what you can offer. You're a college kid looking for your first part-time job, COVID prevented you from a lot of normal teenage work experience, you're willing to work hard and learn new things. Here's your resume. What would be a good time to talk again.
Good luck! I believe in you.
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bexleyfix · 9 months ago
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Ending Our Friendship
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(Stranger Things AU)
Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!
WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.
RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.
Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.
°°°°°🤘°°°°°
What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.
I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.
In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.
In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.
Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.
Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.
~~~~~
"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."
"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.
"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.
I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.
Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."
"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."
I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.
"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.
I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."
"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"
He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.
"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."
"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"
Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.
"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.
"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."
I scoffed. "It's not that bad."
I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."
He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."
"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"
He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.
"You wish, Munson."
"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."
Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.
"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."
"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."
I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.
"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"
"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."
"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."
"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"
"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."
He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!
"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"
"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."
"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"
He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.
"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."
"Mmm... that good, are ya?"
"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."
"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"
"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."
"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."
"You have no idea."
I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.
"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"
I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.
"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."
I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.
"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."
"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."
"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."
"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."
"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.
"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."
I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.
"Let me know if you change your mind."
"I won't."
Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.
~~~~~
With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.
"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"
And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.
"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"
I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.
"I've got a seat for you right here."
Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.
"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."
I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.
"Well, played, Bunny."
"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.
"Unfortunately."
"You know you love it."
I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.
"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."
I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."
"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"
"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."
"Oh, sweet burn."
Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.
"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."
Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.
"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."
"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."
"You're going too?"
Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.
"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.
"With who?"
I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.
"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.
"You're all going?"
"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."
"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.
"Well, we do. So shut your face."
Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.
"Yes?" I droned.
"Whatcha listenin' to?"
"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.
"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.
"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.
"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.
I shot them a friendly wink.
"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."
"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."
"She's not very smart if she's dating you."
"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.
"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"
"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."
"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.
"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"
"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.
"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.
"Do you really?"
"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.
"Then show me the sketchbook."
"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"
"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"
"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."
He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.
"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."
"Hahaha! WHAT?"
"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."
"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."
He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Where did you get this?"
"I'm a tape trader, remember?"
"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."
"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."
"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."
Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.
"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."
"You gotta make me a copy of this."
"You know, you're awfully demanding today."
He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.
"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"
"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.
"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."
"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.
"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"
I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.
"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."
"I'm pretty sure you did."
"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.
"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."
"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.
"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"
"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."
I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.
Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."
"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.
"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."
"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."
"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."
"Now that I'd love to see."
"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."
"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."
Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.
You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.
~~~~~
I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.
I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.
"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"
"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."
I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.
"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.
"No."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.
I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.
"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."
I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.
"What?"
"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"
He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.
"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."
I was staring at him like he had three heads.
"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."
"Self-portraits?"
"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."
His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"
"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.
"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.
"Dude, seriously."
He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"
"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.
"I have a look?"
"Mm-hm."
I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.
"Um... what kinda look?"
"Not a bad look."
His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.
"Really?"
I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.
"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."
I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.
"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.
"Uh... o-kay?"
"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.
"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."
My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"
I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.
"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."
He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."
Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.
"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"
"Whatta you mean?"
"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"
He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"
He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."
"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."
We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.
"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."
Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.
"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"
"Yep."
"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"
"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.
"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"
His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.
"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)
"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."
I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.
"You're a fucking pervert."
"I know, I can't help it."
"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"
"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."
"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."
"Then you can't draw me."
His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.
"You're such a dick, Munson."
He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."
"You're missin' out."
"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."
We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?
"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"
I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?
"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."
He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."
I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.
"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"
We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)
I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.
"Um... we... we should probably..."
"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."
~~~~~
We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.
That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.
~~~~~
Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.
"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.
"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."
I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."
"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"
"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."
"I do read the articles."
"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.
"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.
"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."
"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."
Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.
"Alright... you really wanna know?"
Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.
"I wanna know."
"Me too."
Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.
"I'm not sure I do."
"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."
Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.
"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."
Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.
"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."
All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.
"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.
All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.
"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."
Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.
"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"
"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."
"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.
"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."
(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.
Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."
"Me, too."
"Me three."
Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"
He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.
"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."
Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.
"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.
"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."
They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.
"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."
Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."
"Why?"
"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"
"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."
Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."
"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."
Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."
"Good luck, dude."
Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.
~~~~~
"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."
"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."
"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."
"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."
"Robin... you know I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because... he's my friend."
"And?"
"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."
"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"
"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."
"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."
"I understand, trust me I do."
"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."
"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."
"Nice."
"Well, we love you girly."
"Love you guys too."
I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.
Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.
"BOO!"
"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"
Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.
"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."
"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."
"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"
I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."
"Here, a peace offering."
He handed me a beer.
"Thanks."
We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.
"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."
"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.
He motioned to my open sketch pad.
"May I?"
"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.
"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.
"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."
He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."
"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.
"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"
"No, go ahead."
He started fiddling with the record player.
"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."
"Works for me."
He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.
"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"
He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.
"Not fucking you, Munson."
I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.
"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"
"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."
He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"
(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"
His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"
I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."
"Can't say I've seen it."
"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."
"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"
"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."
"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"
"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."
"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"
(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"
"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Well... maybe I like you."
"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."
"Who says I'm making shit up?"
I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.
"Uh... I am."
"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"
I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."
Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.
Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.
"Wanna dance?"
I must've looked like a deer in headlights.
"What?"
"Come on... dance with me."
I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.
"Go to prom with me?"
His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.
"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."
"I'm not joking."
"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."
I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.
"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."
"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"
He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."
Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.
"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."
His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.
"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"
"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."
"Well..."
"DON'T... say it."
Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.
~~~~~
We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.
"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."
He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.
"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."
"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.
"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."
"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."
"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"
"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."
I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.
🎶For I have got, another girl
Another girl who will love me till the end
Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend
I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you
But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new
I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want
For I have got, another girl🎶
Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.
"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."
"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."
I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"W-what was that for?"
"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."
"M-me too."
There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...
NOTHING!
He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.
(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.
"I love this song so much."
I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.
🎶How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
"Love will find a way"?
Gather 'round, all you clowns
Let me hear you say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶
We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.
"You're voice is beautiful."
"Thanks," I whispered.
We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.
"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."
What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.
By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.
"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"
Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."
I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.
"I won't, Bunny."
I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.
"Mmm, that's... that's nice."
He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.
"Go to prom with me, Bunny."
His voice was so low, commanding even.
"Eddie, why?"
"Because I wanna spend time with you."
"You already spend time with me."
"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."
I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."
"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.
"Yeah."
He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.
"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.
"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.
"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."
My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.
"Hey, what---?"
"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"
"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."
"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."
I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."
"Do what?" I mumbled.
He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.
"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."
"Eddie... what're you doing?"
There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...
"I'm ending our friendship."
And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.
"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"
Now he looked like he wanted to cry.
"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."
(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.
"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.
"I know..."
He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.
"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"
I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.
He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.
"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.
I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."
"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.
When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.
He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.
"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."
When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.
"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"
"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."
I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.
"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."
He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.
"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."
He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.
"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"
I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.
"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."
His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.
"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"
His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.
"Eddie, yes... I love you."
The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.
"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.
"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."
He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.
"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."
He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.
"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"
My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.
"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."
He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.
"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."
UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.
"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."
He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.
"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."
"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."
I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.
"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"
I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.
"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."
I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.
"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"
He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."
He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bunny?"
"How did you know?"
He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."
"You were eves dropping?"
"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."
"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"
"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."
He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.
"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.
"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I asked you first."
"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."
"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."
"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."
"I can't believe I was so blind."
"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."
"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."
Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.
"Go ahead."
He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.
"Are-are these for the project?"
"No. Look at the dates."
He checked them all, page after page, book after book.
"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"
"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."
"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."
He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.
"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."
I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.
"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."
I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."
"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"
"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.
"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."
"I beg to differ."
He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.
~~~~~
Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.
"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.
"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."
"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."
Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.
"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."
I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.
"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."
I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.
"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."
"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."
"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."
Nancy flashed a sweet smile.
"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"
"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.
"Ok, all done."
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.
"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"
"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."
We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.
"Well... you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.
~~~~~
"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."
"Thanks, Robin."
"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."
"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."
"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.
We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.
"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"
"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.
We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.
"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"
Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.
"I don't see Eddie."
As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.
"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."
Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.
"My lady."
I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.
"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.
He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."
"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"
He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."
He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.
"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."
We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.
"Um, sorry Dad."
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."
"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."
"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.
"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."
She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.
"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."
He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.
"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"
My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.
~~~~~
The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.
"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"
"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."
"Oh? How's that?"
"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."
"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"
"Mm-hm."
"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"
"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."
"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"
"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."
"Harrington, I could kiss you."
"Please don't."
They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.
"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."
Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~
I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.
Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.
It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.
~~~~~
We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.
"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."
I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.
"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."
Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.
"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."
Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.
"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."
"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.
"Hhhhyes."
Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.
"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."
All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.
"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.
"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."
The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.
"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."
"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"
"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."
He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.
"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."
He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.
"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"
He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.
"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"
He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.
"Mhhhhhh..."
The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.
"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"
"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."
I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.
"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"
He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.
"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."
He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.
"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.
He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.
"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."
Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.
"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"
I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.
"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."
My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.
"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"
With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.
"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"
His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.
"That was payback, you teasing fuck."
His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.
"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."
With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.
"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"
"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"
I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.
"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"
I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.
"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"
"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."
"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"
"You mean this mouth?"
He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.
"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"
He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.
"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"
Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.
"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"
"Yes! Do it!"
He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.
"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."
His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.
"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."
He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.
"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."
•••••❤️❤️•••••
Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!
🤘
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Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!
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Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'
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The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'
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Your prom dress and mask.
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56 notes · View notes
arxims · 6 months ago
Text
𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 ᶠᴼᵁᴿ
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Returning to Seoul was a decision that you finally ended up in , given that it was the place where you spent your past years. Leaving your messed up past behind, you made the conscious choice to return to Seoul in order to breathe new life into your existence. Little did you know that this decision would change your life. For the good or bad. As you reconnected with an old friend from your past, you were introduced to his younger brother, whose presence became far more significant in your life in a twisted way than you thought.
Pairing : jungkook x reader 
genre/au : a lot of angst, smut, killer!Jungkook, non idol au, violence. 
Warnings : graphic depiction of violence and gore, lots of blood, mentions of rape, smut, sexual activity, toxic Jungkook, red flag Jungkook, psychopathic behavior red flag behavior, mentally disturbed characters, suicide, murder, depictions of torture, serial killing, lots of trauma, depression, criminal behavior, murderous tenancies, possible major character death, mentions child abuse and child pornography, unprotected sex, cumming, teasing, commitment issues. 
Rating : only suitable for mature readers 
Word count : 7.5 k
MASTERLIST
<previous chapter | next chapter >
"Jungkook's not here?" 
Jungkook's absence was immediately noticed by you as you entered Taehyung's home. Taehyung, visibly exhausted from a long day at work, was lounging on the couch, engrossed in a TV show. You took a seat beside Taehyung. With a weary smile, Taehyung responded, "He's out, God knows where." Over time, you had transitioned from being just a friend to feeling like a member of Taehyung's family, allowing you the privilege of entering his home without the need to knock.
As you settled in, a weight on your mind prompted you to share your concerns with Taehyung. "There's something, Tae. Something that bothers me," you expressed, your gaze shifting to the Korean comedy show playing on the screen. Taehyung, sensing the seriousness in your tone, sat up attentively and lowered the volume to listen intently. "What is it? I'm here to talk," he reassured you, meeting your eyes with a look of genuine concern.
"It's about Jungkook," you confided softly. Taehyung's protective instincts immediately kicked in as he inquired, "What about him? Did he say something?" The thought of Jungkook potentially causing you distress stirred a protective urge within Taehyung, who regarded you as a cherished younger sister. "No," you responded, "But I don't know what I am to him, Tae. He's not even giving me an answer. He loves me, he's my boyfriend. But he's not letting me make anything official.
Taehyung raised an elegant eyebrow, his curiosity piqued by the situation unfolding before him. Observing Jungkook's behavior, he couldn't help but ponder if his brother had finally found solace in a single relationship. Jungkook's constant chatter about you, both at home and elsewhere, with your name ever-present on his lips, led Taehyung to believe that Jungkook was deeply enamored with you. The intensity of Jungkook's feelings was unmistakable, mirrored in your own actions and words.
As Taehyung mulled over the situation, a furrow creased his brow, reflecting his confusion at the lack of an official commitment between you and Jungkook. "What do you mean it isn't official?" he inquired, his expression a mix of concern and bewilderment.
In response, you poured out your heart, expressing your inner turmoil. Despite being treated well and loved by Jungkook, the absence of a formal label for your relationship left you feeling unsettled. "I know he loves me and cares for me, but he hesitates to define our relationship," you confided in Taehyung, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. The fear of losing Jungkook to another woman weighed heavily on your mind, tugging at your heartstrings.
Taehyung gazed into your eyes, his own reflecting a blend of worry and contemplation. The question lingered in the air, "What is he up to?" The complexity of emotions and unspoken desires hung palpably in the air, creating a web of uncertainty and longing.
"You asked him about making your relationship official. What was his reply?" 
"He said he doesn't wanna put a label on our relationship," you sighed, feeling a sense of desperation creeping in. Despite this, you believed it was a risk worth taking. 
"All I want is to be with him, Tae. To build a life together, start a family, and grow up in a small home. That's all I yearn for," you pleaded, knowing that only Taehyung possessed the ability to navigate this situation. He was the sole individual Jungkook would listen to.
"I asked him to meet my parents and he acted like he… HeHe only loves me for sex” you gazed at Taehyung with pleading eyes, hoping for a solution. "Please, convince him to meet my parents."
Following a moment of contemplation, a glimmer of hope flickered in your eyes as Taehyung offered, "I will try. I'll try and talk to him”
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It was late, almost nine when Jungkook returned after his meeting with Yoongi. He was proud of the widespread news of Hajoon's murder and echoes his glorious name - the shadow reaper. 
He slowly closed the door of the house. As he turned back, his eyes met with the figure of Taehyung with his arms crossed. “Look, We need to Talk, Kook” Taehyung's voice sounded serious, it worried Jungkook a bit considering the fact that Taehyung was rarely serious. 
“Hyung.. Talk about what?” Jungkook's eyebrow raised. “About you, (Y/N) and your relationship with her. What are you upto?” His arms uncrossed as he raised his voice slightly. A scolding tone evident. 
“What are you saying, hyung?”
“Aren't you two together?  Then why can't you just fucking meet her parents. Poor thing only asked you to make it official and You turned that down?” Taehyung spat. He clearly despises Jungkook's actions sometimes and this was one of them. 
“Because I didn't feel like it. Did she tell you about it? She came to you whining?” Jungkook talked back. He threw his coat on the couch putting his hand in his pocket. 
“The matter is. You're making her confused. If you're her boyfriend, you should act like it. You're acting like you don't even love he-”
“Because I don't. . I'm not sure about it, hyung. But I need her”
Taehyung felt like someone hit him with a brick. His eyes widened in shock. “What did you say?”
“I. Don't. Love. Her. I'm feeling something I never felt before. And I don't know what the fuck it is” Jungkook said in a whisper. Eyes piercing Taehyung's. “But Hyung, I want her. I need her. I wanna keep her. And don't you dare break the glass palace she made in her heart. Let her believe I love her. It's better. But don't force me to just meet her parents  and all that bullshit because I'm not planning to marry anyone.”
Taehyung felt his hopes breaking into pieces. He was finally at peace when Jungkook found his girl. But he was more hurt over the fact that you've been hoping for a life with Jungkook more than anything. How are you gonna take this? Jungkook cannot lie forever. One way or another, you'll know the truth. Taehyung weakly sat on the couch “I can't believe this… You've been betraying her?” Taehyung's voice rose. “No. She needs to know.” Taehyung search for his phone on the table. But before Taehyung could reach it, Jungkook picked it and smashed it on the floor. 
“You're not telling anything to anyone, Hyung. Just remember this. The day she leaves me will be the last day I'll stay sane” Jungkook warned, leaving Taehyung in utter confusion on whether to save his friend from a lifetime heartbreak or keep his mouth shut for the sake of his brother's life. He knew Jungkook didn't make empty promises. Before storming off, he said one more thing. 
“(Y/N) is mine. She'll forever be mine and whoever steps into my way, I won't hesitate to end them.”
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Though Jungkook rejected the proposal to meet your parents, he agreed to come with you to Jennie's wedding. Cause you whined a lot, of course. 
“You look perfect, baby. I'm jealous” You said, fixing his shirt as his hands rested on your waist, lips inches away from yours. 
“Are you sure we have to attend this wedding? cause you look so fuckable in that red dress baby.” He stole a kiss from your lips in the conversation. 
“No Kook. Keep your dick in your pants for once. It's important” You looked back at him. His line of sight met with your chest. “After the event baby. I'll let you have me” You just feather kissed his nose. “Don't tempt me wildcat, I might take you right there infront of the guests. Bend you over nicely. You want that?”
“As much as I want it, Kookie, we can't. I can't just ruin my cousin's wedding.”
Jungkook opened the door of your side as you stepped out of the car, at the wedding venue. Jennie loved peonies. So you were the one who designed the wedding venue decorations. And you tried your best to make it the most perfect one for her special day. 
“Baby, I'll go to the bride now. Socialize, okay?” You gripped his collar and pressed a kiss on his lips. “Uh huh” He grumbled, gripping your hips, leaning to get more kisses but you pushed him away. You turned your heals. As you took a couple of steps, you turned back and mouthed “Socialize. Love you” And you went to help Jennie.
As you mingled with the guests, ensuring everything was running smoothly for Jennie's big day, you couldn't help but steal admiring glances at Jungkook from across the room. His rugged good looks and charming demeanor never failed to make your heart flutter, even after all this time together.  
Watching him , laughing and making small talk with the other guests, you marveled at how effortlessly he seemed to fit in, his charismatic persona putting everyone at ease. No one would ever suspect the insecurities and self-doubts that he had confided in you during your most intimate moments together.
Your reverie was broken by the arrival of the dashing groom, Kai, looking every bit the perfect husband-to-be in his immaculate tuxedo. As he caught your eye and gave you a warm smile, you couldn't help but notice Jungkook's expression from across the room – his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, his jaw clenching with barely contained jealousy.
You smiled back at Kai, pushing aside the brief flicker of unease you had felt at Jungkook's reaction. This was Jennie's day, and you weren't about to let anything ruin it for your beloved cousin.
"You've really outdone yourself with the decorations," Kai said as he approached. "Jennie is going to be over the moon."
A swell of pride filled your chest. "I'm just glad I could make her day even more special."
As the ceremony began Jennie made her grand entrance, resplendent in her white gown, which was also chosen by you. As Jennie and Kai exchanged their vows, you felt delighted. You couldn't help but look up at Jungkook, who's supposed to be on the altar with you, saying vows to protect and cherish you forever. You couldn't help but imagine you and him there, you in your white gown and him in his tuxedo. Holding hands. It made your toe curl. Everything was going perfect 
The reception went really well. You really enjoyed it with your friends and your man by your side. And what made you proud is you got so many compliments. Especially on Jennie's wedding venue decorations and all.It was overwhelming.
“Thank you So much (Y/N/N). Thank you for making my day special” Jennie hugged you tightly before getting into the car with Kai. You happily waved them goodbye. 
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After the wedding ceremony and reception had concluded, you excitedly approached Jungkook. Since Jungkook was showing no signs of seriousness in your relationship, you decided to take the initiative. You found him in the crowd as you dragged your steps towards him, your parents in tow. This was the perfect opportunity to finally introduce the man who had captured your heart to your family.
 “Kook” You immediately hugged him, pulling back, you turned back to your parents. 
"Jungkook, these are my parents," you beamed, gesturing between them. "Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook."
The moment the word 'boyfriend' left your lips, you noticed Jungkook's expression shift. His eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and a muscle in his cheek twitching - telltale signs that he was struggling to contain his rising anger.
"We've heard so much about you," your mother said warmly, seemingly oblivious to Jungkook's discomfort as she moved to embrace him.
But Jungkook deftly sidestepped her gesture, his body language becoming increasingly tense and guarded. "I'm not her boyfriend," he said through gritted teeth, shooting you a pointed glare.
You felt your cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. Jungkook had made it clear from the day before that he didn't want labels or anything too official, but you had hoped that after meeting your parents , he might be open to taking that next step.
"We're just...seeing each other," Jungkook continued, his voice low and clipped. "No need to make it more than it is."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the group as your parents exchanged a bewildered look. You opened your mouth to explain, to smooth over the awkwardness, but Jungkook cut you off.
"If you'll excuse me," he muttered, already turning on his heel and stalking away.
As you watched him go, a sick feeling twisted in the pit of your stomach. Jungkook's aversion to commitment was nothing new, but the intensity of his reaction had caught you off guard.
Deep down, you knew there was more to Jungkook's behavior than met the eye. He claimed not to want labels, but his possessiveness and need to keep you close betrayed a deeper truth - he craved your love and devotion, even if he didn't fully understand the depths of his own feelings.
Jungkook was a man at war with himself, torn between his desire to possess you completely and his fear of the vulnerability that came with truly opening his heart. And as you stood there, reeling from his outburst, you couldn't help but wonder which side of him would ultimately win out.
Little did you know, the battle raging within Jungkook was far darker and more twisted than you could ever imagine. For beneath his charming exterior lurked a monster - a creature of violence and depravity that craved your light while simultaneously yearning to extinguish it forever. king 
He drew in a shuddering breath, conflicting emotions flickering rapid-fire across his chiseled features. When he finally spoke, his voice was little more than a hoarse rasp laced with a strange melancholy.
You followed Jungkook into his car before he started it and started driving to his home. You were determined to get to the bottom of his erratic behavior back at the reception. The car ride was silent as you battled with the inner emotions you felt. The whirlwind of doubts and questions you asked yourself ‘Am I wrong?’’Does he love me?’. The car pulled up into Jungkook's apartment. He swiftly left the seat and harshly slammed the door. His anger is still evident in each of his motions. 
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"Jungkook, wait!" you called out as you followed him inside the home. "You can't just dismiss me like that in front of my parents." you finally decided to speak up after a silent ride. 
He wheeled around to face you, his expression thunderous. In that moment, he was practically a stranger, the warm familiarity you'd come to know and love eclipsed by clouds of anger and irritation.
"Dismiss you?" he bit out, his tone laced with derision. "I was merely being honest for once instead of playing along with this ridiculous charade."
You recoiled as if he'd struck you, struggling to process the venom dripping from his words. "Charade? Jungkook, what are you talking about?"
He closed the distance between you in two long strides, his movements almost predatory as he crowded into your personal space. You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves, mingled with undercurrents of something that made your instincts screech with warnings to flee.
"Don't act so scandalized," he sneered, lips curling into a cruel approximation of a smile. "We both know I've never claimed to want any kind of label or commitment. So why go parading me around like some kept man, hm?"
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as hurt and confusion swirled through you in dizzying eddies. This bitter, unforgiving stranger was a far cry from the vulnerable soul you thought you knew – the tenderhearted man you'd given every piece of yourself to.
Sensing your distress, Jungkook seemed to rein himself in slightly, his expression shifting into forced neutrality as he struggled to regain control. When he spoke again, his voice was careful, almost gentle – but you could hear the tightly leashed menace lurking beneath.
"Look, baby..." he sighed, reaching out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear. "You know how I feel about...attachments. About being tied down. It's not you, it's just who I am."
You flinched instinctively at his touch, and something flickered in Jungkook's eyes – a predatory light that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.
"But that doesn't change the fact that you're mine," he continued silkily. "Mind, body, and soul. I just can't do titles or anything too...official. You understand, don't you, sweetheart?"
As the full weight of his words settled over you like a suffocation, you realized that there was something deeply unbalanced about the dynamic between you. Something that extended far beyond his denial to labels. 
As Jungkook moved to gather you in his arms once more, his familiar scent and the memory of his gentler embraces, you wondered if you were finally getting a glimpse of the depths he had so carefully kept hidden. About what you are to him.
If so, the truth was more twisted and terrifying than you could have ever imagined. But even as dread coiled through your veins, some deep part of your heart still clung to the desperate hope that the man you loved was still in there somewhere, fighting to re-emerge from the gathering shadows.
"You know I want you, baby. All of you, forever." He reached out, calloused fingertips grazing your cheek with an odd sort of reverence. "But husband? Father?" A harsh chuckle rattled in his chest. "Those roles...they weren't made for a man like me."
Jungkook's gaze bored into yours, intensity and haunted desolation in those depths. For a beat, his guard seemed to slip completely, allowing you a glimpse at the tempest of darkness that dwelled within.
"I'm toxic, y/n," he said, each word carrying a strange shadow of self-loathing. "Poisoned to my rotten core by demons you can't even begin to comprehend. Giving me those kinds of titles, those kinds of...expectations..." He trailed off, shaking his head as he deciphered his next words. 
"It would only end up ruining your very existence."
“Isn't that what you're doing now?”You fired back, but your rear drenched lashes canceled out the intensity in it. Jungkook raised a hand, effectively silencing you with a look that mingled tender adoration with soul-deep anguish.
"I can't be what you want, no matter how much it kills me," he said simply. "The most I can offer is myself – the broken, damaged man who needs you with an intensity that terrifies me. Beyond that..." Another weary shrug, devoid of hope or expectation. "I'm not built for picket fences and babies, sweetheart. I can only ever be a wildfire, scorching everything in my path."
As he drew you into his embrace, you felt the truth of his words like injecting into your very spirit. 
Though you knew your choice had already been made long ago, every sane impulse in you urged you toward self-preservation, a voice that repeated in your mind, begging you to save yourself from the incarnation of hellfire in front of you. And you felt the need to keep yourself away from the impending insanity you're gonna drag yourself into by staying with him. You were hopelessly, inextricably bound to the tempest of his love . 
In the end, total devastation was inevitable for you. The only open question was the extent it'll reach in the aftermath.
You pulled back abruptly before Jungkook could claim your lips in that searing, desperate kiss. His forehead creased with a fleeting look of confusion that quickly gave way to resignation as you leveled him with an unwavering stare.
"What do you mean you're not made for this?" you demanded, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. "For having a real future together? Then why did you let me believe it was possible, Jungkook? Why give me that kind of hope if you knew all along it would lead nowhere?" you finally found your brain in the mayhem of thought whirling inside you and decided to speak up. 
He opened his mouth as if to respond, then seemed to think better of it, jaw ticking as he warred with himself internally. For several endless moments, he simply studied you intently, fingers flexing at his sides in wordless agitation.
"I never lied to you, (Y/N), " he said at last, voice low and tinged with a weariness that went bone-deep. "Not about the most important things. I told you from the start that I don't do commitments or pretty fairy tale endings."
 "But you..." He trailed off, seeming to struggle against the reins of his own restraint. "You burrow so deeply under my skin, baby. Make me want things I have no business craving."
You fought the urge to lean into that scorching familiarity, too raw and off-balance to surrender so easily. You have to. You can't go back to this agonizing cycle of pain you've been going through for seven months. 
"When I'm with you, it's like the broken shards inside me piece themselves back together for a few fleeting moments," he confessed, voice dropping to a hushed rasp. "Like I could actually be the man you deserve, instead of the warped, unforgivable thing I know myself to be."
He drew in an unsteady breath, agony writ large in the taut lines of his expression. "So yeah, I let myself get caught up in the fantasy sometimes. Deluded myself into believing we could make it work against all reason and logic."
“We can make it work. If you just let me. I'll make us work. I promise” Your voice seemed tired. You just wanted him to be with you. 
Stepping in closer once more, Jungkook cradled your face between his large, calloused palms, forcing you to meet the turbulent depths of his gaze head-on.
"But the truth is, I'm a fundamentally fractured thing, (Y/N)," he said, each word etched in harsh reality. "Dangerous and selfish to my core. Giving me a wedding ring, letting me put a baby in your belly...it would only end up tainting the light I love most about you. Twisting it into something as warped and wretched as the demons that ate away at my soul from the inside out years ago."
“ I don't understand. Jungkook. Did you lose your mind?” You whispered against His thumb which skirted the plush swell of your lips, his touch feather-light yet carrying the banked heat of a thousand barely leashed desires. "I lost it a long time ago. I'm not built for a forever baby. I can only ever be ashes and ruin in the end."
As the weight of Jungkook's grim self-assessment washed over you in chilling waves, you found yourself caught between two impulses - the driving need to soothe the haunted parts of him, and the screaming instinct to cut your losses before this pain of realization manage to pull you under as well, crush you under the weight of pain, suffering and agony that your dreams have been withered in breeze. 
In that moment of reckoning, you were forced to confront the truth that the man you had poured every ounce of your limitless devotion into has never wanted to spend the lifetime with you, let alone be tamed by something as precious and fragile as the dream of family you still clung to.
Jungkook was the wildfire he had always claimed to be - beautiful in his fury, yes, but ultimately destroying all in his path to  ash if allowed to burn. And you, solely, with burning heart, decided to rescue yourself from his scotching fire which could potentially set your sanity ablaze. Only if it already isn't destabilizing. 
Tears traced  down your cheeks as the full, devastating weight of Jungkook's words finally penetrated the fabric of your naive denial. This man – this beautifully destructive force of nature you had given every piece of your heart and soul to – he was never truly yours to possess or nurture into something sustainable.
"All of it was a lie," you murmured, more to yourself than him as your vision blurred and swam. "This whole time, you let me believe we could have...everything. A real future."
Jungkook made a choked, anguished sound low in his throat, reaching for you instinctively. But you stumbled back, wrenching yourself from his touch as if it was a poisoned Thorne. 
"Don't," you bit out, mustering what little remained of your fragile composure. "I can't...not again. Not after hearing the truth straight from your lips."
He froze then, every hard line of his body going rigid as you seemed to age a thousand years before his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, baby," Jungkook rasped, each word dragged from the deepest wellspring of his shattered soul. "You have to know, hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted—"
"But you did hurt me," you cut him off, voice little more than a wobbling whisper through the maelstrom. "You just admitted to living a lie, letting me pour every ounce of myself into an illusion because facing the ugliness inside was too hard. Despite my condition. You still made me…"
A solitary, broken sound escaped him. But you couldn't bring yourself to look, to let the all-consuming intensity of his presence draw you back under before you'd found the strength to break its spell once and for all.
Drawing a deep, shuddering breath, you straightened your spine and lifted your chin, channeling every last ounce of your battered self-worth and respect. 
"This...this is the only way then," you said, each word like shards of jagged glass scoring the delicate flesh of your heart and soul. "Clearly, we want different things, Jungkook. Things you can never give me, no matter how much we might try to force it. We shouldn't...we can't see each other again," you concluded, the taste of your own damnation on your tongue. "Not after laying it all bare like this."
Pivoting on your heel, you turned away from the man you loved – the demon who had consumed you, piece by precious piece – before your resolve could splinter anew. Each step struck through you like shrapnel, until you were certain there could be no greater anguish than the sensation of having your very essence unmade. You were completely broken, each step making the pain worse. 
"No," he bit out, the single syllable ringing with the weight of something Biblical, inescapable. "You don't get to just walk away from this, from us."
You barely had time to process his meaning before Jungkook was on you, crowding into your space with the fluid, predatory grace of a big cat cornering its prey. His broad frame boxed you in against the wall, palms slamming against the plaster on either side of your head as he caged you beneath the scorching brand of his body.
"I warned you, baby," he growled, the words half snarl, half plea as his gaze bored into yours with intensity. "Tried to make you understand that I'm not made for happily ever afters and diamond rings."
Unbidden tears sprang to your eyes anew, cutting blazing tracks down your flushed cheeks. You opened your mouth – to protest or surrender, you didn't know. But Jungkook sealed his lips over yours in a punishing, soul ripping kiss before you could give voice to either decisions.  
It was anger and adoration, tenderness and possession taken to their most primal extreme. A devouring fusion of everything you had tasted in simple sips during your time as his lover, his obsession. 
When he finally wrenched himself away, you were trembling and lightheaded, the shreds of your anger all but extinguished in the wake of his unrelenting onslaught.
"I'm a force of nature, baby," Jungkook murmured, trailing a path of searing kisses along the slender column of your throat as you fought to catch your breath. "Wildfire and in my wake. I'll only ever leave you in ashes if you tie the knot with me." 
He nipped at the juncture of your shoulder, tongue laving over the heated imprint his teeth left behind in a maddening caress. "But I'll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers without taking everything you have to give first."
His voice dropped to a rasp, resonating straight to your very core. 
"That pretty, pretty soul of yours?" A low, rasping chuckle that carried more than a hint of a threat even as he peppered your swan like neck with adoring, reverent kisses. "It was mine the moment you fell into my gravity” 
White-hot lances of your fear to lose you sanity and desperate, untamed yearning licked through your veins in equal measure at the promise blazing in his eyes. 
You were his – an ember caught in the blaze he had stoked from the moment your paths first crossed. And no matter how many times the flames licked your faith and sanity to tinder, you would keep rising from the ashes, drawn back into his searing, ruinous embrace.  
Because for better or worse, Jungkook had awoken something just as wild and merciless within you. Something that recognized its perfect other half in him, two noble, tragic souls locked in an intricate perfection.   
Just as Jungkook leaned in, his lips a hairsbreadth from claiming yours in that searing, possessive kiss, you managed to summon the tattered remnants of your willpower and pull back abruptly.
"Stop this...this bullshit," you rasped, propping yourself against the wall in a futile attempt to put much-needed space between your overwrought senses and his overwhelming presence. "I can't...I can't do this anymore, Jungkook."
Your voice broke on his name, the single syllable carrying the weight of every shredded dream, every shattered promise between you. Fisting your hands in the fabric of his shirt, you met his blazing gaze head-on, willing him to see the truth laid bare.
"Don't you understand?" The words ripped from your throat in a wounded rasp. "I'll lose it. Lose myself completely if I let you pull me back under. I'm going crazy now. I can't even think properly. Stop this before I go insane"
Jungkook's expression didn't so much as flicker, that ferocious intensity pinning you in place just as surely as his body had moments before. His eyes burned, amber and smoldering, daring you to tear yourself away from the irresistible gravity of his orbit.
"You're already lost to me, baby," he murmured at last, each word a husky brand against the heated flush of your skin. "Have been since the moment I caught your scent on the night breeze and decided to make you mine."
A tremor lanced through you at the implacable vow, the delirious hunger underlying his promise. 
"I'm not some pretty little dream you can just walk away from when the night turns bleak, (Y/N)," he growled, and you felt the words reverberate through you like an electric impulse. "I'm the shadow over your heart, cast in every color of sin you've ever tasted and a thousand more you haven't even begun to name. You think you can just leave me like that?"
Try as you might, you would never fully escape the inescapable gravity of his making.
"You don't get to cut yourself free now, not after letting me inside to fester for so long," Jungkook continued, lifting his gaze to yours in a silent demand for your surrender. "That choice was made the night you whispered yes and guided me into that secret, sacred space you'll never be able to take back."
Hot, traitorous tears spilled over the brittle confines of your lashes, scoring blazing tracks down your flushed cheeks. In that moment, you realized the unvarnished truth of his words, accepted it with every aching fiber of your being.
You were bound to this elemental creature – this wildfire made flesh. You have to turn back. Now or never. Leaving behind love, the obsession, the devotion you utterly held for him. To save yourself from the rusted cell bars of the psyche ward. You were losing it. 
You harshly shoved Jungkook away, desperate to create space between you. "Stop! Stop this, please," you sobbed, sliding down the wall until you were crumpled on the floor. 
The tears flowed freely as you shook with the force of your anguished cries. Raking trembling hands through your disheveled hair, you squeezed your eyes shut, overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions crashing over you in waves. Each shuddering breath felt like shards of glass piercing your lungs.
You couldn't do this anymore - this constant push and pull, letting Jungkook drag you to the brink of shattering over and over again. Didn't he see how he was unraveling you, stripping away every last piece of who you were until there was nothing recognizable left?
Opening your reddened eyes, you fixed Jungkook with a haunted stare, reflecting back the myriad fractures now marring your wounded spirit. "I'm breaking, Jungkook," you confessed in a tremulous whisper. "Shattering into pieces under you. If I let you sweep me back into the chaos, I may never be able to put myself back together."
His words were a darkly seductive vow as his lips hovered a hairsbreadth from yours. "Let go of the remnants of who you used to be, and rise from the ashes as you were meant to - savage, merciless, and utterly, devastatingly mine."  
 
"Burn me to ashes," you whispered in utter capitulation. "Complete your terrible work and unmake me utterly. Then you can be free to find your next victim." your body shook as you were holding onto your last string of mental control. 
"I don't want to see you again," you stated, mustering every ounce of determination as you met his smoldering gaze head-on. 
A pained frown creased Jungkook's brow, but you pushed forward before he could protest. "We should not see each other again. Ever again." you stated. 
With shaking hands, you smoothed your rumpled dress, willing your voice not to waver as you took a fortifying breath. "Ever."
The idea of walking away from Jungkook's gravitational pull, from the searing intensity you had allowed to consume you utterly, felt like carved away pieces of your very soul. He had become the obsession around which your world orbited.
But you couldn't - wouldn't - let him reduce you to ashen ruins the way others had before. Not again. The memory of that heart-rending, soul-shredding agony was still too fresh. You have to do this. For the people who actually love you. 
Jungkook seemed to sense the shift in your demeanor, the implacable walls being erected to strengthen your decision. His lips parted as if to give you commands or pleas. You didn't want to know.
But you were done being a hapless pawn in someone else's blaze. 
"Don't," you warned, holding up a hand to forestall whatever soul-scouring onslaught he prepared to unleash. "I can't...I won't survive having my heart shattered into those many pieces again. Not even by you."
For a suspended moment, the air was thick with the weight of a thousand unvoiced farewells
Then, drawing every remaining reserve of your battered strength, you turned on your heel and simply...walked away. Each step sent an agonizingly painful ripple throughout your veins. 
You didn't look back to see the expression on Jungkook's face, didn't let yourself open to the pleas and sugarcoated words you knew would come. Just pressed onward, one agonizing footfall after another, until you had created enough distance to safeguard what little remained of your tattered, grievously wounded heart.
It would be a long, horrible journey to self-reconstruction from here, you knew.  But this time, no matter how many times the phantom pyre called out, you vowed to safety in the still, small quiet that follows in the wake of even the most cataclysmic blaze.
Because for all your beautiful ruin and tragic devotion, Jungkook's love had always been a wildfire - devastating as it was brilliant. And rising like a phoenix from those particular ashes was a feat your battered soul could no longer muster.
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The familiar surroundings of your childhood home provided little solace as you stepped through the doorway, your dad's worried gaze immediately finding you.
"Sweetheart?" He crossed the room, wrapping you in the comforting embrace you hadn't realized you were desperately craving until that moment. "What happened? You look..."
"Broken," you supplied hoarsely when he trailed off. "I feel broken, dad."
Your mom appeared then, features creasing with maternal concern as she took in your disheveled appearance and the sorrow etched onto your face. "Oh, honey..."
You brushed away the tears that had already begun trickling down your cheeks anew. "I...I need to tell you both something. About Jungkook."
They exchanged a weighty look, but remained silent as you guided them to the cozy living room, sinking into the overstuffed armchair that had cradled you through so many tears and triumphs over the years.
And then, like a dam finally fracturing under inexorable pressure, the entire story came pouring out in a torrential swell. You laid bare every intoxicating high and devastating low of your relationship with Jungkook - the obsessive passion, the soul-scorching connections, and the alarming moments where darkness and volatility took the helm.
By the time you finished, your parents' expressions had shifted from shock to heartbroken empathy...and something else you couldn't quite put a name to. An emotion that looked suspiciously like disappointment.
Your dad was the first to break the heavy pall of silence. "Sweetheart, I can't say I'm surprised that boy turned out to be more trouble than he's worth." He sighed, raking a hand through his graying hair. "I knew we can't trust this Jungkook guy"
You blinked owlishly, surprised by his revelation. In all the turmoil of your relationship, your parents' approval had been the last thing on your mind.
Before you could respond, your mother reached over to clasp your hands in her soft, familiar grip.” It's okay sweetie. We are here for you”
Tears stung your eyes anew at her plaintive words and the unvarnished concern on their faces. Your parents had been silently standing vigil through the entire storm, hoping against hope that you would eventually see the gathering darkness for what it was.
"We never wanted to overstep, baby girl," your dad continued gruffly “But don't be blind again. And I'm glad you realized he's not good for you”
He leveled you with an intense, soul-searching stare that bordered on paternal command. "You need to get as far away from that boy as possible, you hear me? Cut every tie until he's nothing but a memory."
Your mother squeezed your hands, nodding . "It's the only way you'll ever begin to recover, find your spark again. That man...that relationship...it's not good for you baby. And I can't lose you again."
Unconsciously, you found yourself nodding along with their grave pronouncements, accepting the heavy truth of their concerns. You had been well on your way to obliteration at Jungkook's hand. No matter how brilliant and all-consuming the heat of his love burned, it was a pyre that would inevitably reduce you to scattered embers.
"You're right," you rasped, the words tasting of ash and resignation on your tongue. "I can't...I can't keep letting him consume me like that. It'll only end in total ruin eventually."
A tremulous inhale, followed by a fragile, failed attempt at a smile you hoped looked more reassuring than it felt. "But I could use some help picking up the pieces. Becoming myself again, for the first time in...I can't even remember how long."  
You dad nodded resolutely. "Of course, (Y/N/N). Anything you need." His expression softened then, suffused with naked paternal affection.
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A week passed. You never went out of your house nor let Jungkook reach out. He's been wandering in your mind as well as your premises for the week. You were sitting on the kitchen counter as your mom made breakfast. Your dark eyebags evident. He's everywhere. In your dreams, in your bathroom mirror, beside you in bed. He doesn't seem to let go of your mind. 
Your phone screen lit up in another silenced message. Then you noticed the train of 56 missed calls from none other than the destroyer himself. Control (Y/N)
"Did I ever tell you about the plans your uncle has been cooking up?" Your dad started. 
You furrowed your brow in silent question, waiting for him to continue.
"Well, you know your childhood friend Mingyu has been sweet on you for years," he said wryly. "And between you and me, his father has had dreams of officially joining our families through marriage for about just as long."
You and Mingyu had been fast friends since you were young, bonding over afternoons spent pulling pranks around his family's sprawling estate. You admit that you had an undeniable crush on him since childhood. And you once told him that you'll marry him for sure. 
But you were too broken for finding love now. No. You're done with that bullshit. Your parents will only do the best for you. You knew it might seem sudden and hard to accept. But Mingyu is a gentleman and he could potentially help you get the reminisce of Jungkook wandering in the expanse of your mind. 
"Oh honey, don't look so scandalized," your mother laughed lightly, waving off your sudden bashfulness. "We would never push you into anything remotely serious right now, not after the hell you've been through. But you can consider. They're willing to wait"
Her expression softened, turning tender and reassuring in a way only a mother could as she reached out to brush a stray tendril of hair from your face.  
"But...if you're open to it, maybe reconnecting with an old friend might be just the gentle balm your poor heart needs right now? A chance to remember what feeling cherished and adored is supposed to look like, without all the sound and fury?"
As your parents exchanged a hopeful look, you knew this newest development might catalyze the journey on the road of healing ahead. Your parents were relieved that Mingyu’s family was oblivious to your little boyfriend. Your battered spirit would require more meticulous tending and time than a simple rebound could provide.
But at the same time, something in you unclenched slightly at the idea of allowing yourself to open up to the softer, steadier affections of someone who had been woven into your life since childhood. Someone inherently safe - who could teach you how to breathe easy with the assurance of a solid, labeled relationship. 
Perhaps Mingyu could help chart the path back to the person you had been before Jungkook's wildfire had scorched away every remaining sliver of recognition. It was a lifeline, a steadying tether you realized you desperately needed in order to keep your chin above the tides of despair that threatened to drown you utterly.
So you lifted your chin, mustered the ghost of a tremulous smile, and looked into the warm, hopeful eyes of your parents as you answered the only way you could.
"Reconnecting with an old friend actually sounds...really nice. I'll consider it” 
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Why do I feel like I messed this chapter up. I felt like (Y/N) Mingyu thing was too abrupt. Cause (Y/N) is heartbroken and blah blah blah. Idk. Do you feel like it was in such a rush?
Finally a long chapter. I'll take a mini break. Probably for a week or two, if I feel like it. I like writing but I was lacking confidence in my writing, which made me not publish my stories for so long. But yeah. I do have some cringe story drafts. Long way. Talking about moonstruck. It'll be only traumatizing as it progresses. Some um expected moments and, idk. I don't wanna spoil it. I have a shitload of ideas in my head and most of the events in Moonstruck now weren't even planned when I first planned out the plot. Still, the important parts are yet to come… see ya in the next part. Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Honestly I love when readers comment I'm living for this. Love yall 
- Mars
ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ : @looneybleus @ttanniett @jjk174
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beyondsuki · 2 years ago
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Star - Shine
Star
/stär/
a fixed luminous point in the night sky which is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.
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Toji Fushiguro
The woman in the ring
Instagram - Masterlist
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Pairing: MmaFighter!Fushiguro Toji x black f!reader
Genre: Romance, Smut, Angst
Summary: What happens when you help MMA fighter Fushiguro Toji —unbeknownst to him—in his time of need?
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Toji thought himself a simple man. A simple man who had never fallen in love. Although he would never audibly admit that.
Yes, there was a period in his life when he was married but he never truly felt there. He was young, and a star on the rise. Temptation was all around him yet he stayed faithful and committed to his vows. For five years he was betrothed. Tied down, trapped. For five years his marriage was perilous.
The cause of the divorce was an affair accusation. She thought he was sleeping with a journalist. A journalist? He laughed when she vocalized her concerns. She was incandescent. “You really think that I would sleep with a journalist?” That one sentence matured into a fight neither of them came back from.
He left that night and returned the next morning with divorce papers. He allowed her to keep the house while he now resides in a penthouse that overlooks the city. Every once in a while, a feeling of penitence washes over him and leaves him wondering whether or not he should’ve just stayed. “Toji! Hurry up, we have to get going, the fight is about to start.” He finished wrapping his fists. He grabbed his silk robe off its hook and slipped it on. The coolness of it lasted a few seconds longer than usual before latching on to his body heat. As he walked out and the routine cheering of his fans filled his senses, an unfamiliar face in the crowd caught his eye.
You work hard. You’re currently in medical school earning your M.D. so you can cross the finish line with the label and job title ‘Neurosurgeon’. “(Y/N) Come onn why not?!” Your friend Stacey from your class based solely on muscles was trying to get you to come to watch a fight. “We are in Medical School Stace, why do you want to see people hurting themselves deliberately?!” “It’s not even about that for real.” She said tucking her brown hair behind her ear. Her green eyes flashing with a fierce incentive. “Then what is it about?” “Have you seen Toji Fushiguro!?” “No. And I don’t want to see him.” She pulled out her phone “Let me just show you.” You rolled your eyes and sighed heavily knowing you wouldn’t be able to win this fight. She pulled up a picture and tilted the phone toward you. “Wow.” He is.. “I know right!! So let’s goo I literally bought two tickets and they weren’t cheap.” “Fine.” She had finally persuaded you into getting ready.
You readied yourself and are now sitting in the front row of the Fushiguro Toji vs Alexei Morozov fight waiting for the star fighter to come out. A coalescence of music and loud screaming invaded your ears making you turn your head towards the back. He was much larger than you imagined. Standing at, at least 6’5 this burly man managed to win the hearts of more than a few thirst quenched women. His sinewy muscles stuck out like a sore thumb. And his very presence left a bitter sweet taste in your mouth.
Someone slapped your shoulder dragging you out of your daydream “He’s looking over here oh my god!?” His gaze robbed you of an essential part of human homeostasis—your breath.
You ripped your eyes away from his and looked to the floor. When he walked on stage and his back was to you, you looked up again. You watched as the ‘Fushiguro’ on his silk robe morphed as he slipped it off. When the fight started you winced at the first punch. Tricep, Bicep, Latissimus dorsi, gluteus medius. You named the muscles being hit as practice due to yet another test the next day. Suddenly, Fushiguro was hit in the head and started bleeding.. a lot. You stood out of habit to get a closer look. The ‘medic’ that was attempting to stop the bleeding was failing miserably at her job. You pushed past the journalists and photographers.
“You need to apply pressure!” You yelled trying to get as close as possible. “Ma’am I’m gonna need you to back up.” Some guy with long hair said. “I know I know but your medic is not helping him. She needs to apply pressure to stop the bleeding and he needs to be stitched immediately.” The man looked back at the ‘medic’ staring at the fighter with goo-goo eyes. He pursed his lips and lifted the tape. You walked through and made your way to the mat. You tapped on the woman’s shoulder “Excuse me” she moved out of the way instinctively. “Hello Mr. Fushiguro.” You said while sliding your hands through a pair of latex gloves.
He looked at you confused. “You don’t know me but I’m here to help you.” You took some gauze from the pile of medical supplies and applied pressure to the cut above his eyebrow. You were wearing a black skirt with a white button-down top that slightly exposed your cleavage. His gaze could be felt even under the angry burn of the lights. You frantically searched the pile for an alcohol wipe. Once you found one you held it up to him “Rip.” He did as you asked “This is going to sting.” He pulled air through his teeth as you cleaned it. “Is there thread over there?” You asked the former ‘medic’ who just stood there in awe “Hello?” “O-oh me?” “Who else would I be talking to?” You said. Words coming out laced with venom “I-uh no there’s not.” “Of course not..” you glanced down. Next best thing you thought as you picked up some glue.
You applied it to the wound and squeezed. You grabbed some tape that specialized in holding wounds together and placed it on the cut. “Rag,” you said to the girl. She quickly handed you a rag and you wiped the sweat, dirt, and blood off the fighter's face. You paused for a moment as you looked into his eyes. The one thing you’d been avoiding all night. Brown pools of the sweetest honey. You snapped out of it though when you felt his large hands on your waist. He gently moved you out of the way to get up. You felt heat crawl up your neck, feeling grateful that your brown skin hid the blush appearing. This was when you noticed all the blood that stained your shirt.
You left the ring entering back into reality as you searched for your brunette friend. As you were removing your gloves you heard a familiar voice. “Oh my god!- Will you leave me the fuck alone! She’s my friend and I’m a doctor!” The man with raven hair lifted the tape reluctantly and Stacey ran over to you “Oh my god! How was it?! What was he like!?” She said frantically trying to look behind you to get a glimpse of the fight from up close. “We didn’t really talk..” “But I saw you talking?” “I was talking to the ‘Medic’” you said making air quotes. “Oh..”
You walked over to a man with white hair wearing a shirt labeled ‘Manager’ leaving your overly excited friend on her own. “Excuse me? Do you happen to have a shirt I could borrow?” “Hmm..” he hummed as he tapped his index finger on his lip “I do have an extra one but…” “But?” “It’s his” Oh “It should be fine. He doesn’t ever wear it.” He turned around revealing the ‘Fushiguro’ on his back. He walked to his bag and came back with a shirt. “Here.” “Thank you.” “Please hurry, it looks like we’ll be needing you again soon.” You glanced back at the fight just as Fushiguro took a hit.
You took the shirt and went to the nearest bathroom. You changed out of your button-down blouse and into the one Fushiguro’s manager had gifted you. It was huge. It stopped just before your skirt ended and it was three times the width you were. You placed your shirt in your bag and then went back to the ring.
You stepped in as they were hydrating him. “Hello again Mr. Fushiguro,” He nodded, his eye starting to swell. After slipping into another pair of gloves, you grabbed an ice pack and slapped it in your hand to get it to activate. “Hold this here.” You said to the girl. She obliged and you began to tend to his bleeding shoulder. You grabbed the bottle of alcohol and a cotton round. “You might need to hold on to something for this one.” Just then, you felt his hands on your hips. A chill ran down your spine causing you to pause. They were so warm.
You let out a tremulous breath and resumed to tend to his wound. He tightened his grip when you applied the round. “Sorry.” You apologized. He just stared at you. “What’s your name?” He spoke finally. “(Y/N)” “(Y/N)..” he repeated back, almost dazed “That’s me.” You finished cleaning his wound and could now move on to patching it. Once you were done you moved out of the way—well, at least you tried but he kept you there, in place. “Mr. Fushiguro- I- the round is starting in 10 seconds.” You said, your tone incredulous “Find me after the fight.” “What?” “Gotta go.” He moved you out of the way and stood up.
You left the ring confused once again. You took the gloves off and decided to watch the rest from where you were standing. Fushiguro ended up winning causing an uproar in the arena. Stacey on the other hand hit it off with some journalist. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride?” “Positive.” “Okay! See you tomorrow.” She walked away giddy. You tapped on a blonde man wearing a Fushiguro shirt. “Um- Excuse me?” He turned around “I was told to find Mr. Fushiguro after the fight?” He cocked his eyebrow while his eyes scanned your body. “By who?” “Mr. Fushiguro…” Just then the man with the white hair came out “Kento what the fuck? Why isn’t she halfway to Toji already?” The man shrugged. “C’mon,” the manager led you through the tunnels to where you assumed the fighter would be. “He’s right in there.” He said pointing at a room labeled ‘Fushiguro Toji’ “W-wait you’re not coming in?” “Oh no, I don’t bother him after fights.”
You cautiously walked over to the door and gave a light knock. “Move.” You heard from behind the door. “Hi..” you said when he opened the door. His face was smug “Hi.” He smirked. Your eyes traveled down his figure. He was lacking a shirt, revealing his sinewy abdomen. “Everybody out.” “But sir- we haven’t finished your trea-“ “She’ll handle it.” He opened the door wide enough for the nurses to leave while he leaned against the frame. They all gave you dirty looks as they made their way out. “You just gonna stand there?” He said walking back to his seat. You walked in and closed the door behind you. He cocked his eyebrow “So this is that kind of visit?” “W-what?! I-I didn’t know if y-you wanted privacy!” He laughed “I’m teasing.” You shook your head while he chuckled. A deep, sexy chuckle. One that made you tingle and throb in all the right places. “I knew that..” “Oh did you now?” “I did.” You said before walking over and grabbing the medical supplies.
Toji felt a chills where your fingers graced his back. “Y’know..most people are scared of me.” He said slightly looking back “You? No way” You said, sarcasm laced in your words as you applied ointment to a few of his wounds. “Your possy seemed to have no problems with you. I mean, they all looked pretty disappointed when they had to leave” “Tch yeah...no matter how many times I kick them out they never get used to it.” You laughed. Toji felt his heart flutter. You walked around to his front, moving his slightly sweaty hair out of the way to look at the scar you had patched earlier. “Everything looks good. Well, not good but you know.” Your eyes scanned his face, skillfully avoiding his eyes. “How’d you get that?” You pointed to the scar on his lip. “Accident.” You finally found his eyes. “..You are a vague man.” You felt your pockets. “Do you mind?” You asked, showing him your chapstick. “Only if you come back to my place.”
You froze and tried to read his expression but you couldn’t. You smiled “I don’t give it up that easily.” He grabbed your wrists and slightly pulled you forward. “You sure?” Yes “…no” he cracked a smile and you applied the chapstick. Dipping it slightly when you reach his scar. “Is that a yes?” “Only if you want it to be.” Your heart was beating so loud you were sure he could hear it. He stared at your lips and you sheepishly glanced at his.
He let your wrists go and your lips connected. You felt a burning heat erupt in the very pit of your stomach. You’ve kissed men before but never like this. You loosely wrapped your arms around his neck as you stood up straighter. You both pulled away at the same time. He swiped his tongue over his teeth before standing up. Your arms fell back at your side as he grabbed his shirt and slipped it over his head. He grabbed his bag and then your hand. It was so large in comparison that he completely encased it. “Mr. Fushiguro wher-“ “Toji.” “What?” “Call me Toji.” He said looking back at you. You were struggling to keep up with his long strides. “Toji.” “Yes?” “Where are we going?” “You’ll see.” You walked with him as he pulled you through the tunnels.
On your way there, more of his security started to surround you. When you finally made it out you entered an epileptic’s worst nightmare. You put your arm over your eyes to help shield them from the flashing lights. You felt Toji’s arm wrap around you as you pushed through the photographers.
You sighed when you finally reached the car. “Shit.” “It’s not over.” You watched as they migrated around the car. You finally pulled off and you were on your way. When you arrived, paparazzi swarmed the car once again. His security opened his door and he got out. He then helped you out of the car. As you walked, your hand slipped out of his and you began to drown in the sea of paparazzi. You fell and scraped one of your knees.
Toji stopped immediately after he no longer felt your hand in his. “Mr. Fushiguro! Mr. Fushiguro!” He pushed five reporters out of the way with one swing of his arm. Suddenly, you felt yourself being picked up, bridal style. “T-Toji I can walk.” “I’m not letting you get run over again.” He carried you into the lobby and to the elevator before setting you down. He opened the door to his penthouse when you got there and told you to sit on the couch “Yes sir.” You said throwing your hands up.
He disappeared into a room and when he reappeared he was holding a first aid kit. He set it on the couch as he knelt between your thighs. “Oh Toji you really don-“ he glanced up at you, causing your talking to cease. He cleaned it with an alcohol wipe and as he placed the bandaid on your knee, he looked up at you. “Thank you..”
He squeezed as his hand traveled further up your skirt. “Let me know if you want me to stop.” You nodded slowly. When he got to your panties he swiped his thumb across the wet spot. You shuddered and closed your eyes. “Aht aht. Look at me.” You opened them again to look into his. You felt him use his other hand to pull your panties to the side and open your legs wider. “What a pretty pussy…and so wet too.” He ran a finger through your folds and you tried to close your legs. He held them open and rubbed circles on your puffy clit. “Fuck..” you said, breathless.
He pulled at the hem of your lace panties before sliding them off. He placed them in his pocket before sliding his middle and ring fingers into his mouth. He went back to rubbing your clit as he slid a finger inside. A loud moan ripped through your throat. You placed a hand on his shoulder for stability. He slipped another finger in and curled them. You trembled. He stood up as he fingered you, placing a knee on the couch.
He began to kiss you, traveling down your neck with sloppy, wet kisses. Kisses that left you wanting more. Lewd squelching filled the room as his fingers fucked into you tirelessly. Suddenly, you felt your stomach tighten and your moaning became louder. You tried to speak but nothing came out. “Are you gonna cum? Hmm?” He hummed against your neck sending chills down your spine. He could tell by the way you were clamping down on him that your orgasm was near.
Chills ran down your entire body when he spoke to you. “You gonna cum on my fingers? Hm? Go ahead…make a mess for me.” “Tojii” you spoke finally. You let out a loud whine as you came around his fingers. “Good girl” he said as he helped you ride out your orgasm.
You watched through half lidded eyes as he slid his fingers out and placed them into his mouth. He sucked them clean and pulled them out with a ‘pop’. You felt yourself being picked up and carried. He laid you down on his bed, “I’m gonna go shower. Do not touch yourself until I get back.” You nodded “I need words.” “Yes daddy” You said, your voice feigning innocence. Toji felt his cock twitch. He walked away and to the bathroom. You writhed on the bed, more horny then you’ve ever been. About twenty minutes later Toji came out in just a towel.
You sat upright. You looked so small on his abnormally large bed. He walked over to you and you could feel the blush creeping up on you. The towel he wore didn’t cover much. He placed his fingers on your jaw and lifted your head to make sure you looked him in the eye. “There’s no turning back after I start.” He said with an expression that made you feral. You nodded. “Words.” “O-okay” he smiled. He leaned in and kissed you. It was deep and sexy. The way he grabbed your neck with his warm, calloused hand. The way he moved them across your body. Squishing the plush of your ass, stomach, and thighs as if he was memorizing every inch of you.
He started to kiss down your neck. You shuddered underneath him as you let him take full control. You felt his hands slide up your shirt as he kissed and licked around your collarbone. He unhooked your bra with ease and slid it off under your shirt. “Leave the shirt on.” He’s been wanting to fuck you in it since you first put it on. It was bunched up over your breasts. He sat back to admire you. “So pretty…” before you could be embarrassed, he ran his tongue over a nipple. You moaned as your hands found purchase in his short cut raven hair. He bit, pinched, and soothed with his tongue.
He guided you out of your skirt and licked his fingers. He slowly rubbed down your slit, smearing the cum from twenty minutes prior. Placing his hands on your knees, he pushed them towards your chest. He squeezed on your thighs before wrapping his arms around them and pulling you to the edge of the bed. He made his tongue flat and wide as he licked up your cunt. You shivered with a moan “fuckk”. You placed your hand in his hair and tried to push him away. Everything was so sensitive. Too sensitive. You felt him smirk against your pussy as he held you against him with more force. He was enjoying this as much—if not more than you were. He loved the way you smelled, the way you writhed under him with every touch, the way you sounded. Everything about you was sheer perfection in his eyes.
You whined as he hummed into you. Your legs shook as a thin layer of sweat started to coat your skin. “Toji..” “Hm?” He hummed. “I’m- ouu” you couldn’t get the words out. “What is it baby?” “I-I’m uh-gonna c-um” “mm cum on my tongue princess.” And almost as if on command, your orgasm washed over you.
Once again, he helped you ride it out. Lapping up your orgasm along the way. You panted as he backed away. Even through half-lidded eyes you could see the glistening of his chin from your juices. He wiped his mouth with his arm and then bent down to kiss you. The kiss was sloppy and allowed you to taste yourself. You moaned into it and that was his last straw. He pulled his towel off and threw it to the floor, allowing you to see a glimpse of exactly how big he was. You quivered when you felt him rub his tip through your folds. He kissed you again and you gasped when you felt him slowly sink into you.
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you felt him stretch you. He kissed them as you dug your nails into his shoulders, creating little crescent moon impressions. “I know, I know. You’re doing so good for me baby.” Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you slightly relaxed. “That’s it, just r-relax” his hot breath fanned against your ear. He pushed his lips into your swollen ones. Swollen from how much abuse they had adhered from both you and him. He swallowed your whine as he pushed all the way in. “Shit s-so tight.” his voice broke as he almost bottomed out. He sat there for a moment letting you adjust to his size. After a few moments he felt your grip on his shoulder loosen a bit. “P-please move T-toji” he obliged and moved slowly at first, giving the pain a chance to cease.
The moans you released were like music to his ears. The way you tried to talk but ended up just babbling something that ended with his name. “Faster.” You managed to get out. He obliged once again. The room was filled with lewd slapping and squelching noises. He buried his head into your neck allowing you to smell his..vanilla shampoo?
“(Y/N) fuck- your pussy’s s-ucking me I-in so goood mm” he was practically whining. His words turned you on even more. “ouu” you moaned next to his ear. He backed away to sit up on his knees. He looked down to see the ring of white that sat at the base of his cock. Watching the way he completely disappeared inside of you. He moved his hand down to your clit and rubbed in slow circles as he fucked into you. Your moaning crescendoed and your legs shook. “Wait wait- ouu fuck wait.” You put your hand out in an attempt to get him to slow his strokes. He intertwined his fingers with yours as he continued to play with your sensitive nub. Tears graced your lashes as the shaking became more intense. “You gonna cum? Hm? Cum with me baby. Can you do that?” You were clamping down on him so good.
That familiar knot in your stomach was about to snap. He leaned into your neck anew. You bit down on his shoulder as you ran your nails down his back. “Tojii- ouu- mm I’m gonna- shit I’m gonna c-cum.” Your eyes rolled back and your vision went white when you came. Your entire body shook as his thrusts became sloppy. He whined as he pulled out and came on your stomach and shirt. He leaned his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath and came down from your high.
He peppered kisses all around your face as your body relaxed. “You did so good.” Was the last thing you really heard him say.
He went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up. He threw on a pair of boxers before coming back into the room. He cleaned your stomach and thighs with a warm towel making sure to be extra gentle. He pulled that shirt off of you and replaced it with the top to his green silk pajamas. You looked so cute in his large shirt. He then carried you to the bathroom and sat you down on the toilet. “(Y/N), wake up.” You opened your eyes to find a squatting Toji in front of you. From what you could make out, he had green pajama bottoms on with no shirt.
“What?” You were so cute. “You need to pee.” You nodded slowly. “Can you turn around?” You said, slurring the words together. He laughed. “(Y/N).” “Mhm?” “We just fucked.” “So? Nobody can pee with a six foot five man staring them down...” You said in protest. “Absolutely adorable…fine.” He turned around and you peed. When you were finished he helped you to the sink and then carried you back to bed. He covered you and then grabbed your clothes from earlier. He put them in the washing machine and cut all the lights off.
When he got in bed, you were facing away from him. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close. He kissed the top of your head before slowly drifting to sleep with you.
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@kazushawty
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greatbigbellies · 1 month ago
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Do you have any tips for starting a kink blog?
Yeah! I have a few I can share! One size does not fit all but I've certainly learned some things that inform my approach.
Remember above all that it's supposed to be enjoyable. If you start a kink blog and it feels like a time sink or a chore, then it might not be for you, or you could be spending more time on it than you really should. This also means that the time and energy you have to dedicate to a kink blog is going to fluctuate. You might pop off one week and not log into it at all another, and that's okay. You should run it at the pace you enjoy. This also means when you feel a dip in sex drive and the kink stuff isn't hitting like it usually does, take a break so you don't burn yourself out.
Queue is your friend. As are tags. Honestly 1 post a day works wonders, cause you can load up around 15 posts at once and be covered for a couple of weeks. Having a solid and consistent tag system for yourself is also great. You don't need to overload it with specificity, but have some for different kinds of media (writing, video, gifs, audio...) is helpful, and being able to tag different facets of your kink is great for when you OR your followers need to scratch a specific itch. Like for me and my preg kink blog, whether the belly is bare or not, if there are lots of stretchmarks, if it's fpreg, mpreg, or nbpreg... all good things to keep sorted. Also try to keep the meaning of your tags really obvious (that sounds like a no-brainer, but I used to use a tag meant for when clothes were too small for a bump, but it just came off as me complaining that the belly was too small, which actually resulted in me need to talk to an artist to get a block lifted, oops!)
Related to the above, if you produce original content, be it art, writings, audio, whatever, have a tag for that too. Makes sifting through your original stuff and reblogs much easier, and lets people find your stuff even just searching tumblr wide.
LABEL. EVERYTHING. AS. MATURE. If you're running a kink blog, minors should not have any way to see it, and the easiest way to do that is to slap a "sexual themes" label on it. Covers your ass and keeps people who should not be able to look from looking. Even if the kink is pretty innocuous, it's best to play it safe.
Pinned posts are especially useful for kink blogs for setting boundaries, and telling newcomers what they'll see right off the bat. It doesn't need to be enormous, but just a little intro and a list of expected kinks someone will find on your blog helps keep people informed so they know whether or not to follow.
Don't be shy about blocking people. If someone posts stuff that makes you uncomfortable or is being shitty, just block em and move on. On the flipside, respect other people's boundaries, and remember that if you find yourself blocked by someone, remember it might not even be personal and just be a blog content thing.
If you do make kink content involving yourself, like pics or videos, protect your identity. Just play it safe, don't show your face and obscure identifying tattoos. Odds are low it'd come back to be a problem, but they're not 0, so just play it safe for yourself. Both for potential work/career hang ups and to minimize stalking or doxxing.
I'll reblog with more later if I think of it. I know half of this applies to blogs in general, not JUST kink blogs, but other than there being inherently sexual content, they're not that different. Please send any follow up asks if you have further questions, and if you decide to start one, good luck and have fun with it!
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Helluva Boss Theory: Blitzo Might Be Panromantic & Ace, And Stolas Doesn't Deserve Him...At Least Not Yet.
[Note 2# : I had to edit this and add something at the bottom...cause of reasons, cause I didn't want any misunderstandings...]
[Note: Please Do NOT reblog this without my permission, also this theory is for Mature Audience Readers only...also will be talking about my thoughts about Emberlynn from Helluva Short Series in the Short Episode 3...don't read if you haven't watched it yet, cause spoilers.]
okay even though we know that it has been confirmed that Blitzo is Pansexual, but for all we know it could be possible that while Blitz is in fact Pan, he might actually be Panromantic and Ace...
there are different types of Aces in the Asexual Spectrum, but it is possible that either Blitz hasn't figured out he is Ace or he has but he stays in the closet because of how some people in Hell in Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel's shared universe, react to others being Ace with possibly only a few like Rosie who is accepting.
but even I know there is the possibility that Rosie might not know that some people who are Ace, do in fact have boyfriends, girlfriends and romantic-partners and they can choose to have or not to have "snu-snu" time but both parties will have to be okay with it.
it's kind of gross about some info I read before, I was curious and wanted to see if there was a name for something that is a mix of Platonic & Romantic, but then I found some gross info about how some people view "romantic partnership" seriously, it is just so misinformed and gross.
as if sexual attraction is the only thing involved, and love doesn't always involve that "snu-snu" at least Fizz and Ozzie have it a bit more together and balanced because they know their feelings for each other are way beyond the physical stuff...
also thinking about the times when Blitz in the past episodes had pointed out how uncomfortable he felt with how Stolas flirted him, because no matter if your Ace or not, that could make some uncomfortable.
but when Blitz gives Stolas a taste of his own medicine, Stolas of course replied back with "I don't like how your speaking to me!"
even some fans have figured this out, and while we can probably still see the good side of Stolas, but it doesn't change the fact he is the one in the wrong.
even if there were miscommunications between Blitz and Stolas, in the episode where that Anti-Blitzo Party had first appeared in.
but Blitz never wanted to have that first affair with Stolas, he just wanted the book...but Stolas technically guilt trip him with his "sweet but heartbreaking words"...
Blitz might still need to work on himself, to try to be better...
but he might be the true victim, and some of his Exes who only half of them weren't even Exes at all but just some jerks who were making moves on a emotional hurt by the events at Ozzie's, DENNIS.
plus Vortex was there at his girlfriend Bee's party, so he shouldn't play a part in labeling Blitz as the "one in the wrong" and the "bad guy"
I guess Verosika is in the friend zone and is in a better place with Blitz, but it is possible that when she was saying "love" it might not really involved what we originally thought, and it might not have to do with the whole saying "I love you" to Blitz, not 100% sure.
but whatever it might be, it could be hinted in Verosika's song at Ozzie's that it is linked to the words she used that had her saying she "loved" but it isn't fully explained, which leaves fans guessing it was her telling Blitz that she loved him, but we aren't 100% sure if that is what had him dump her.
but if Blitz is Ace, well Panromantic-Ace but is in the closet when it comes to being Ace...
it's possible he isn't truly comfortable with romantic-relationships that aren't like Millie and Moxxie's relationship, because those two have a balance and don't make it all about the physical stuff.
even if they still do that, but their love for each other runs way deeper than that.
it might be possible only some fans are seeing signs on victim blaming and scapegoating going on, I still liked the episode where the Anti-Blitzo Party took place.
but while we can feel sorry for Stolas for being married with Stella, with the only good thing coming out of it being Octavia.
but with how he was at Ozzie's Club, and how he acted during the whole taking his book back for good which also had a misunderstanding because Blitz had no idea what was going on.
but Stolas had to be a Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg to Blitz, who was possibly only acting like a Apple Sugar Spice in trying to get back together, but in the wrong way, might be from the idea that it is "normal" with those like Stolas, but it isn't.
just because Stolas was being a insensitive Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg, doesn't mean Blitz had to play the same game as him.
and yeah, with some who are clueless to the situation between those two, will likely take "poor sweet and vulnerable Stolas's side" but I'm not sure if he 100% deserves it at this point, not unless he figures out he is more in the wrong than Blitz is, and they both would have to start in the friend zone.
I already view Mammon being Panromantic-Ace, even though it would be mostly Fanon, while in the Canon he is fully Asexual.
plus it could be possible maybe, there were always hidden hints that Blitz might be both Pan and Ace.
but what type of Ace he is, we don't know for sure.
and even if it might be a while before Vassago appears in a episode, but I kind of want to OTP Ship him with Blitz.
I think if Vassago did have a boyfriend who was Ace, he would be a bit more respecting and loving and NOT make their relationship into all about what Stolas had made it between him and Blitz, but it is possible Stolas might not fully understand there are more ways to show love and he could of been the one to ask Blitz out on a REAL date for the first time, even if the reason why Blitz asked him to come to Ozzie's was for a different reason.
Blitz isn't the one to make it all about "snu-snu", plus Stolas did kinda caught him in a bad time with Martha's Family trying to get him, Moxxie and Millie...
Stolas is the one who came up with the deal and favor for the book, NOT Blitz...and I don't think Stolas gave Ozzie the full story as to why he needed a Asmodean Crystal.
and if he did, it might be possible that Ozzie wouldn't give Stolas the Asmodean Crystal, cause the Prince of Lust has apparently more sense than Stolas does when it comes to "mutual love & lust" and not being for "forced lust"...
Ozzie would possibly still do it for Fizz, as well as for his new rekindle friendship with Blitz....BUT NEVER for Stolas.
Ozzie's words about "artificial love" and how "lust shouldn't be forced"
might have more meaning than what it appears, because Stolas might of been forcing the lust he was feeling before...
he had to make it all about him and not fully get why Blitz was upset with him after the incident that happen at Ozzie's.
or the fact what happen left him emotional vulnerable mess that those like Dennis, will take advantage of...
Dennis is a Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg.
Blitz was NEVER fully in the wrong, but he was made to believe he was.
he may have messed up in life, and I still think Barbie was responsible for those fireworks that caused Fizz to not make it out in time and become a cyborg in the first place.
it's good that Blitz wants to be better, but he isn't the only one who is at fault...
and if the fan theory about Blitz being Panromantic and Ace is correct, then he does not need to be fixed, cause he will always be loved by both his daughter and even M & M.
also I can't remember the name of the video or the channel on Youtube that talks about how Blitz is the true victim.
but I can't help but be happy someone else sees that Loona should be made Blitz's top priority when it comes to getting her help at the hospital at the Sloth Ring first, but trust Moxxie and Millie to save that sorry excuse of a Apple Sugar Spice of Stolas's.
and Stolas still has to make it about him, how "Blitzy his knight didn't come to safe him from Striker."
dude, he had to be there for his daughter...
the video had pointed out the reasons why Blitz couldn't be the one to save Stolas, because he had to help his DAUGHTER and couldn't drop everything for him, and had to send people he was close to and trust to go save his spoiled bird apple sugar spice.
and if I remember correctly it had pointed out how Stolas was the one who first made Blitz uncomfortable with the unwanted flirting and advances at Loo Loo Land.
but when Blitz did give Stolas the same treatment, Stolas is of course saying he doesn't feel comfortable on how Blitz is speaking to him, even though he did the same dang thing to him before.
maybe Striker is only half-right about blue bloods, I'm still going to identify as purple blood, also I may have found out why my Mom had Evening Sickness with me before I was born, and well I don't think I will talk about it fully on here right away...cause it is best that I don't.
still going to be weird and still call myself that self-nickname "The Eveningstar Princess"...and I think I'm still a weird defective earth angel who's blood type is O RH D Negative, and I shouldn't take Sugar Honey Ice Tea from Toxic-Religious people.
even ones that made a offense video that seems to have a problem with Pride Month, well excuse me if my being Gray-Aroace (who is also Fictoromantic) insults that jerk, who I'm not going to say the name of or the video...
maybe later or tomorrow I will listen to the song "F*** You" by Lily Allen.
also Blitz shouldn't take Sugar Honey Ice Tea from Stolas or him playing the "victim", but even if those two did get back together...it should be Stolas begging on his knees for Blitz's forgiveness.
also my thoughts about Emberlynna Pinkle, is that well the episode short was funny, I couldn't help but laugh.
but seriously Emberlynn, you NEVER take off a charm that protects you from demons!
I mean even if I might have small crushes on Ozzie and Fizz, but would rather I be in the friend zone, like being the platonic girlfriend aka Girl-Buddy...but even I know that in this universe, ya can't just you know do what she did...
the reason I had started to wear gem bracelets to sleep, and even keep them on almost all the time now and only take them off when I have to...
is because of a possible Incubus scaring me awake, and I rather not go into full detail how that went, only that I was on my back and it was dark and I might of been fully aware in the dream...and I didn't see the Incubus but I felt them and it felt too real and it scared me awake.
of course it isn't just Incubus I have to worry about now, but also humans who give off too much Toxic-Lust energy, and gave me about three close calls, four if you count from the residue left over that was still in their now former room, but they had moved out.
and it only got into my room and caused that small 4th close call, because it possibly jump on to someone else who I have some trust for, and when they open the door to my room to tell me something it let that little monster residue in.
which is why I had to put some bag of salt in that other room...
but yeah, besides me having to protect myself from both Incubus and Humans with toxic-lust energy...
Emberlynn should of kept that charm on, would of kept her safe...even if she was creeping Blitz out...but as funny as that episode is, going to have to feel sorry for Blitz.
one of the things I hope, is that she wasn't foreshadowing about the King of Wrath having concubines, and well even if Bee sees him as a brother figure but also thinks he is hot, is still too much info for me.
and I'm not really a fan of the one from our universe, but who knows how the one from Helluva Boss will be like.
and as weird as it might be to some, when Innocent souls who end up in Hell because of some Toxic-Satanist crossing lines.
it might of been last month, when I realize that those innocent souls who were hurt, they are MY people.
and like Charlie's words said in the song "More Than Anything"
I need to save my people more than anything.
the Sinners that Charlie is trying to help save and redeem, are her people.
the Innocent souls that ended up in Hell because of some Toxic-Satanists, those are my people and I will never be okay with Toxic-Satanists crossing those lines.
and if it were possible, I still want to give Abel the cold hands to face punishment for the lambs, and put Grunkle Abel and Grandpa Cain in a time-out box, Grandpa Seth doesn't get the same punishment, cause for all we know, he might be the more likely not make the same mistakes as those two.
Cain wasn't given the proper help before it got worse and he had a very dangerous breaking point.
I don't care if Abel is way taller than me, I still want to place my hands on both sides of his face...but only when my hands are cold, and sometimes they are.
those lambs deserve justice...plus it is one thing to make animals into food or clothes but as for what Abel was doing...
I can't be the only one who finds it messed up, what happens to Abel is still messed up too...but both Abel and Cain were in the wrong and both were victims.
but back to the whole Emberlynn Pinkle, even if she isn't alone in her romantic interest types, some might handle it a it more better...
I wont say too much about that episode 3 of Helluva Shorts, but I think Emberlynn should of kept the charm on, she could of had a charm place on her room that kept Blitz from coming into her room...
but sadly she didn't, also Blitz likely didn't know what he has unleash upon Hell...
may Roo have some form of mercy on Blitz.
also I can still feel some forms of attraction, but just not a certain one very much anymore, maybe because the times when I did feel that way, it wasn't really my own and I was just the energies I was picking up from another person in another room...
too bad Mordin Solus can't be romanced in Mass Effect, like maybe instead what normally happens when you are able to fully romance a character and become romantic-partners with them.
there is just this tender and sweet moment between Mordin and Jane Shepard, where she just kisses his forehead and just hold hands with him and they just spend the night together just talking and after that romantic cut scene, they become romantic-partners.
but yeah, too bad that isn't part of the Mass Effect game.
anyway I'm not 100% sure if the hallucination that Blitz had in one of the episodes and even in one of the newer episodes when Blitz said sorry to Verosika about not falling for her or anyone else at that party...were hinting that he might be Panromantic and Asexual, and there are different types of Aces.
and the whole "falling for Verosika and everyone else" could of implied in a physical love, and not the emotional deep love that Ozzie x Fizz and even Charlie x Vaggie have.
but even if it is kinda good between him and Verosika now, doesn't mean he should be made to be the bad guy when really he was never truly that and his Exes and Dennis are just being Apple Sugar Spice Liquid Eggs.
plus for all we know, while Blitz was driving that vehicle in that art that was for Pride Month, while his chest may have had Pan Colors (like both Pansexual & Panromantic) but for all we know he could of been wearing shorts that couldn't be seen that had the colors for the Asexual Flag.
still can't believe that Striker was half-right about Stolas...
and it is possible if Stolas was fully honest with Ozzie, it would be possible Ozzie would of got really mad at him and even if he did listen to him and got his help with making sure not to sign the wrong paper to get Fizz back safely, even after finding out the full story and truth...
Ozzie would only listen to him, for Fizz's sake.
and Fizz could of still told Ozzie to give Blitz the Crystals anyway, even after telling Fizz the full story on what Stolas told him...
and instead of Blitz returning the book, it is Ozzie instead who gives Stolas the book back as well as a much needed scolding for how he treated Blitz.
and Ozzie could of decided to have a restraining order placed on Stolas that says that he isn't allowed to get too close to Blitz and must stay a safe distance from him.
Octavia can still come to the IMP office and even Blitz and Loona's home, to hang out with Loona, but Stolas is not allowed.
Octavia and Loona are more of the "I Fam it" and "I sib it"
cause remember, when it comes to non-romantic ships you do NOT use the word "I ship it" or call it a ship, it should be a unspoken rule between every person who does ships but know that not all are romantic types and some are in fact more platonic.
but as much as I would love to see Blitz and Stolas get back together, it might be a good idea to keep them from getting back together right now, because of how Stolas treated Blitz and act like he is the "victim" when really he isn't...the only times he was when he was badly hurt by Striker and from the cruelty and verbal abuse he got from Stella.
Stolas needs to get his Sugar Honey Ice Tea together, and admit that he is just as almost as bad as his soon to be Ex-Wife.
Blitz had a good reason to be upset and he had every right to point out the obvious to Stolas after the bad date at Ozzie's.
the truth hurts Stolas, and you better get a clue and try to win Blitz back the right way and not be such a self absorbed narcissistic apple sugar spice honey of liquid egg prince anymore....
for both Blitz and Octavia's sake.
I'm not sure if my theory about Blitz being Panromantic-Ace is correct but we will have to wait and see.
but I think until Stolas admits that he was fully in the wrong, and not Blitz...
I don't want them to get back together yet, and Stolas can just be with that "Better Than Blitzo" guy, and Blitz and Vassago can be together.
even if Blitz x Vassago are just together in the Fanon Timeline but still, they are becoming my OTP and I had started to ship them maybe yesterday well make that around August of last month, before I found out others are also shipping them as well, too bad they can't be a canon ship.
I think I can like the ship of Blitz x Stolas as another OTP, but most Fanon versions of Stolas seem to be my favorite right now.
I guess my feelings to Stolas from the canon, is like bittersweet.
also I'm going to re-watch all the first season of Helluva Boss and the other seasons so far, to see if there really are hints and signs that Blitz might be both Pan and Ace...but I'm still not 100% sure if he is Ace but it could be possible but we wont know unless it is confirmed or debunked.
anyway I hope some understand my thoughts and feelings about the whole Blitz and Stolas shouldn't get back together right away.
cause I think before they do get back together, Stolas needs to admit to his flaws and how he hurt Blitz at Ozzie's and even when he didn't explain things better when trying to break his and Blitz's original deal.
also is it weird I hope Bee dumps Vortex if she finds out about the Anti-Blitzo Party...
the Bee x Loona HoneyMoon ship seems interesting, so maybe at some point they could end up together after Bee dumps Vortex after finding out about what happen at that party...
anyway we might not fully have all the evidence that might prov that Blitz is Ace, cause Ace or not, anyone would be feeling the same way Blitz was feeling with how Stolas flirts with him and belittles him even if Stolas doesn't know he is accidentally belittling Blitz.
I know that it is just a Fan-headcanon about Blitz being possibly Ace, but it is also a theory and we just have to wait to see if it is true or not about Blitz being Panromantic-Ace.
plus it can be possible some fans, not just me, who have come to the same thoughts and theory about about Blitz being Panromantic-Ace.
and for all we know, his research he was doing in one of the episodes where we ended up seeing Chaz for the first time, could be important.
what kind of important, who knows but maybe we will find out in the future either in a episode of Helluva Boss or in one of the episodes of the Helluva Shorts.
and we can try to hope that Blitz and Stolas do get back together...just not right away, not until Stolas stops being well, how he has being that isn't good for his daughter Octava or even for Blitz.
also not everyone has to agree with me that Blitz might be Panromantic-Ace, it is just both a Fan-headcanon and theory.
and not everyone has to agree on the theory that Blitz might be both Panromantic and have a Asexuality and is one of the type of Aces, just not 100% sure which type of Ace Blitz is...and I can only make guesses.
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Editing This In...
I want to say this...I know what Stolas was doing was messed up and wrong, but let me make this clear, STOLAS as a self absorbed and clueless prince that he is, probably didn't know, there is probably a lot of things he is naive about, which he NEEDS to work on to be better and not make the same mistakes again if he is going to work things out with Blitz...and I am seriously not in the mood for...misunderstandings, I'm not agreeing what Stolas did was right, I'm saying that he probably didn't know what he was doing was wrong, but he still ended up hurting Blitz by not getting that half of the reason Blitz was emotonally hurt at what happen at Ozzie's was because of half of the reason was because of Stolas.
I do not want my words to be misinterpreted or twisted,
and it is possible Stolas didn't know what he was doing was wrong, and he didn't understand the damage it might cause later on when he tried to break the deal...I'm still not happy with Stolas, but he needs to understand that he isn't the only one in Blitz's life, and his daughter Loona came first, and at least he send Moxxie and Millie to go save him...
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jascurka · 2 months ago
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Hey, I gotta say i've been a fan of yours for a few years, and you're an extremely talented artist! Your expressions and the soft way you color makes everything seem almost comforting in most of your work, and it's really cool to see!!
I guess i haven't been caught up in a while cause i haven't watched mob psycho in a bit but i noticed you've gotten into mobrei
I'm not here to harass you or yell at you and i am not expecting a response, but i gotta say i understand, when you age up characters it makes the power dynamic seem balanced and ok, i understand these are characters you love a lot and fanart and fancontent is probably a big source of comfort
But encouraging such an unhealthy power dynamics especially as someone with a larger audience you gotta understand is not ok It's not about the characters and it's not about how you view it, it's about us as people needing to show that these unhealthy dynamics are not ok
if you found out your minor little brother was dating an adult you would be worried about him, if you found out your little brother who is now of age was dating an adult who was very close to him when he was a minor you would be worried about him
I'm not upset because it's mob psycho or if it was any other characters i'm upset because you're portraying something borderline pedophilic as ok
I'm honestly a little dissapointed to see that you've sort of adapted proshipping beliefs, yk at least what i can say about myself is that i'm not against proshippers because i hate shipping and i don't believe love is love
I'm against proshipping because incest, pedophilia, and other dynamics that lead to assault and imbalanced power are not ok and we shouldn't be teaching people especially minors that they are
The more content there is normalizing abusive power dynamics the more people think thats ok, the more minors can normalize it, the more minors can think its ok to date a family member or an adult or just anybody who may hurt them because they were taught that love conquers all differences even when that love is between a 14 year old and a 25 year old or even 18 and 29
Again i'm not trying to hate on you i'm not trying to yell or anything like that i just really hope that you'll read through this and just think about it at least a little bit again this isn't about characters this is about real life
Here are some things you need to realize:
The main purpose of my art isn't to be educational about healthy relationships and it's not focused on portraying "the right thing" all the time.
I assume enough emotional intelligence in my audience to recognise that the ships that I in fact label as problematic already - are flawed and are not healthy to happen in real life.
I want to explore nuanced or taboo things in my art but I'm also a sucker for lovey-dovey feel-good stories and it's not your business to convince me to draw ships more how you want them just so kids on tumblr can have a good example of what abuse looks like.
I am not encouraging anyone to pursue relationships like these! Real life is much more complex than what a scribble on tumblr can reflect on anyway. The content I make of these ships is purely fictional and isn't safe to enact in the real world.
I don't appreciate you trying to bring my relatives into this argument, you're being insensitive bringing them up at all. Of course I don't want anyone, not just my family, to stay in an unhealthy relationship. I think most sane people on earth would be against that, no? Do you just assume I'm okay with horrible things happening to people around me because I like to draw unhealthy and toxic ships?
I didn't "adapt" proship beliefs recently. Not harassing people for their fictional ships and stories has always been very easy for me, even if their content makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to block things I don't want to see over acting entitled about what someone draws or writes.
I already state on my page that my blog has sensitive and mature topics and viewer discretion is advised. I could always draw the "worse" aspects of the relationship or more "abusive" side of the ship so you won't have to reach far below the surface to find the problematic side of it, but I get the feeling you don't want me to do that - you just want me to stop drawing a pairing you find icky. I can add an additional disclaimer in my profile if this all wasn't enough for you but I won't stop drawing them holding hands and blushing until I get bored of it.
EDIT: I do want to thank you for the compliments on my art however, I forgot to add it yesterday.
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watchinglikeafangirl · 3 months ago
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After putting out those rewievs of recent Thai BLs, I thought it would be fun to talk about my top 3 Thai BLs. I have watched each of them two or three times already and I'm still so invested even if I know what's about to happen.
So, the shows I would rate as 10/10 are:
Not me the series
Manner of death
I told sunset about you
And now I'm gonna tell you why, have fun
Not me
Not me is definetly a surprise for me because it's the best GMMTV show I have seen until now. There are always GMMTV projects that get a lot of attention and there are many famous pairings but for me there's always something underneath that's telling me most GMMTV shows are not that interesting or they start good but slowly become kinda boring.
Not me is the only GMMTV show that didn't bore me towards the end. It's so consistent and the story is a complicated net of characters who are all intertwined in their past. We are not told which characters are friends, we're shown. Black is a mysterious character because White doesn't know him as well but in the end we feel like we do because all the other characters know him. We get flashbacks of Black and Gram and we start learning about past relationships. We see how Sean is constantly expecting certain reactions White doesn't give him. It's very thought-through and we learn about each of them.
Of course, they are a rebellious group who are fighting for justice in their society. Not me is a lot about social criticism, corruption and oppression in more than one way. We learn about Yok's mom being deaf and getting fired because the factory closed down. There are consequences for the characters but they still believe in their cause, they still believe in each other. These characters are one of the strongest ones I've seen. And we learn so much about them through their dynamic as a group. Some take charge, some are aggressive, some are quiet.
What I like the most is, this show is not predictable. Todd's involvement is completely out of the blue and it's shocking. He had a few scenes to earn our trust and we didn't see it coming. There are flashbacks of the past but even those don't explain everything and I love how the outcome is not visible and still unclear even when the show ends.
Manner of death
At first, I wasn't that intrigued but once the story started to really kick off and the puzzle pieces were layed out, I desperatly waited each week. I like crime shows every once in a while (probably the german in me).
With this show, we get very mature adults in a balanced relationship. Bun and Tan work best when together and their relationship is there, they have some scenes, but it's not really part of the plot. This show is not about their love story, it's about solving a crime and to find justice for Jane.
The show shifts its tone throughout its run. There are drastic things happening and the culprit is someone I didn't suspect that much. The story they uncover is absolutly shocking and it could be triggering. But it's handled in a respectful way. The story progresses and is told calmly without labeling people or judging them before they even talk. The character's personas are not clear just when looking at them because the first approach is neutral.
Manner of death is a much more mature BL I didn't know I needed. There's no unnecessary action and the stakes aren't that high. It's just Bun and Tan and a few friends fighting in silence.
I told sunset about you
I watched this when I was 18, studying for my last exam in school and deciding what I'm going to do with my life. The show hit the right nerves at the right time. I was unsure who I wanted to become, I still don't know if I made the right choices.
This show had me on a chokehold for such a long time. I cannot say what big of an impact it had on me. I still think it's phenomenal. The way colors, songs, languages, flashbacks and silent scenes are used to express the sher struggle of finding one's identity will always be amazing to me. There are so many heartbreaking scenes and scenes I didn't get three years ago but now, three years later, I understand what the show wanted us to see.
But this show is not good because it has such a complicated story or because it had so many turning points but because it is so bittersweet. The calm scenes are the most heartbreaking and when they cry, they sob and when there's happiness, the sun shines and they wear some red shirts. It's a whole feeling and I still love the show for bringing me so much comfort in being unsure who I was because I felt so seen. I have never seen a show portray this transition so well. The best coming-off-age show for me personally
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straighttohellbuddy · 2 years ago
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die mad about it {Dream/Reader/Sapnap} // Part 2
2. 2021
Summary: A retrospective on the interconnected timeline of Dream, Sapnap, and TV and film star Y/N, via social media.
2021. The year starts with Y/N's recent film racking up nominations during awards season, while Y/N themselves tries to work their way into getting into the DreamSMP. Dream isn't exactly thrilled with this, and he and Y/N appear to start beefing on Twitter. Sapnap moves in with Dream and his still-unknown housemate, but appears to be having a great time there, and Dream, in an interview, reveals that he's not technically single. Ft. mentions of the PSMP
Need to Know: Explicitly Non-Binary!Reader, early-20s!reader, reader is an incredibly well known film & tv star and has been living with Dream for several months/just over a year. Polyamory.
{ masterpost : 2 / 3 }
A/N: 6997 words. OH MY GOD ITS LITERALLY DOUBLE THE LAST ONE WHAT. also pretend its several months ago and i had this done on time please and thank you xx PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I LVOE THIS FIC AND THIS STYLE OF WRITING EVEN IF IT TAKES ME AGES!!
Taglist: @esylwen @ihatesunfl0wers @theghostpeach @rainyaheysoe @magicastle @tidelqnds @icarusthefoolish @randokku @todaynotseen @moyo5653 @kittyfragsmini123666 @lacunaanonymoused @parkerpeanuts @sadredflower0000 @jay-being-weird @ronsbadidea @lacunaanonymoused @dreamtogether2000 @summerknights @mishthemess @lovejoywill @randosposts @stormy-skies-falling @gaysludge @hatchetislostpog @cryinghotmess @boiled-onionrings @busyfangirling12
Taglist is always open! Feel free to message or comment if you’d like to be added! xx
· JANUARY ·
At the beginning of January 2021, Y/N's tweet 'so glad they pushed back the SAG awards to march this year at my request, my boyfriend just moved in so im unavailable for the rest of the month' quickly followed by 'dont worry its not because i carried furniture and hurt my back or anything, my boyfriend helped him with all the heavy lifting, i just want to know i have several weeks to be domestic without being interrupted' caused chaos and confusion on Twitter, and they trended for the following 8 hours. After relative radio silence for twelve hours, the only tweet you chose to interact with was one that asked 'which is the side piece tho', to which you responded 'both i sleep in the middle 💙❤️🖤'.
Y/N also retweets a video originally posted on TikTok by user @.woolfenhawke; the woman in the video has dark skin and is wearing pale yellow pyjamas. The label at the top of the video reads 'millennial celebrity Y/N every single time they open Twitter Dot Com'. She starts facing away from the camera, and turns around suddenly, and the camera zooms in very quickly on her face as she lip-syncs to the audio of Tyler Oakley saying 'Hello LGBT community'.
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The most popular fandoms in the character tag of Y/N Y/L/N are Actor RPF, HELIX (2020) RPF, Star Wars RPF, X-Men RPF, and American Horror Story (TV) RPF. The most common pairing is tied between Y/N Y/L/N/Amandla Stenberg and Y/N Y/LN/Evan Peters, followed closely by Y/N/Reader. However, since the beginning of January, there has been a steady increase in fan works rated Mature or Explicit featuring polyamorous pairings.
Reposted from Tumblr and quickly growing in popularity is the fanfiction '(in the absence of everything) i promise to keep you warm'. The first chapter was posted on November 24, 2020, one week after HELIX's public premiere, and has updated consistently in the following months. It is ongoing, at 13 chapters and approximately 45,000 words. It has the following tags; Explicit, Actor RPF, Y/N Y/L/N/Chris Evans/Pedro Pascal, Y/N Y/L/N & Amandla Stenberg, Y/N Y/L/N & Oscar Isaac, AU, Assistant!Y/N, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Movie Sets, Secret Relationships, Power Dynamics, Protective Chris Evans, Protective Pedro Pascal, Daddy Kink, Fluff and Smut, D/S Undertones, Service Top, Domestic Fluff, Social Anxiety, press publicity and paparazzi, Red Carpets.
---
Sapnap posts a photo of himself and Patches in order to announce that he's moved in with Dream and Dream's housemate. Not long after the official post goes up, two posts are added to his Instagram story.
The first is an piece of fanart of Y/N's character Woolfe standing back to back with who appears to be Technoblade from the DreamSMP as he's often depicted in fanart. Technoblade is wearing what appears to be the top half of a boar's skull as a mask covering his eyes, while Woolfe is wearing the angular, aesthetically cyberpunk mask that covers their mouth and looks like a wolf's nose and snarling mouth. The background is black while both characters are lit in sharp relief from either side, with Woolfe being lit in neon green, and Technoblade being lit in neon pink. Stretching across the whole middle of the piece in bold, white lettering is the quote 'If you want to be a hero then die like one.' The art piece is in landscape, A3, and framed and hung against a dark wall. The artist of the piece has been tagged, and across the top Sapnap has added 'proof of housemate's 'not a shrine' to technoblade' in pink letters.
The second is of a polaroid stuck to a dark wall, and an unlit but partially used candle at the very bottom of the image. The polaroid is partially obscured as Sapnap appears to have purposefully edited the photo to scribble in black over one of the figures in the photo to hide their identity. What can be seen in the photo is Sapnap, a little blurry, clearly laughing, half turned from the camera and positioned like he's leaning into someone with his arm around them. There is am arm around his shoulder that is unobscured, but their hand is cut out of the image and they are wearing long sleeves, so there is no identifiable features visible. Over the black scribble, in white text; 'a little bit of a shrine ❤️'.
----
"They travel a lot, the housemate travels a lot for work usually," one of the earliest streams Sapnap does after he moves is a somewhat indulgent Q&A while playing Valorant, "in like, chunks of time, a few weeks I guess? But when they're home they're still working, but usually in a way that's, I guess more similar to me and Dream? Like it'd feel weird and, I don't know, like arrogant, I guess? To compare our work? Usually at least. But because of how everything is, you know, a lot of their work is online, and like we have a schedule for who needs the house quiet at what times. That's- that's all I can really say. I know it's vague," he laughs apologetically, "but it has to be." Then, after a few moments of reading through chat he frowns, "can you tell us where housemate is now? I don't know if I'm allowed, hang on," he pulls out his phone and types away, "I'll ask." It doesn't take more than a minute for him to receive a response; "they're on the West Coast, that's all I'm allowed to tell you."
He does not address any of the numerous questions asking him to clarify the Housemate's relationship with Dream or himself.
· FEBRUARY ·
@.dreams-housemate-updates changes their twitter handle to @.dreamnaps-housemate-updates. Their header also changes to the meme image of Bugs Bunny, pointing with both hands to the right, overlaid with the communist flag, with the words "Our Housemate" in the centre.
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@.YourTwitter: me and the boys at 2am looking for BEANS [Image ID: Y/N, Amandla, and the director of HELIX all posing on the red carpet for the Golden Globes.] | @.YourTwitter: BEANS acquired [Image ID: Two stills from the live broadcast of the Golden Globes, the first one being of Y/N and Amandla in the audience, leaning against one another and clutching each other, beaming and on the verge of tears as they are looking up, presumably at the stage. Y/N has their free hand up and partially covering their mouth. The second is of HELIX's director Robert Eggers on stage having just received the Golden Globe for Best Director of a Motion Picture. He has a hand to his heart and is using the Golden Globe itself in his other hand to point out into the crowd, presumably to Y/N and Amandla.]
HELIX was nominated for 5 Golden Globes in total, and won two; Best Director - Motion Picture, and Best Original Score - Motion Picture.
----
On Valentine's Day, you post one picture to your Instagram story. It's of a nondescript hotel bed covered in red rose petals. The duvet is black and neat, and the only caption you've added is white text highlighted with red in the top right corner; no shitposts today im actually in love.
----
It had been somewhat disheartening to be on set on Valentine's Day knowing you were so far from the two people you loved the most. It's been weeks since you were home, which only made it all the harder. The shoot went well, and you were glad to be messaging Dream and Sapnap through the day, even if you couldn't be near them.
Around lunch they tell you that they're sending flowers to your hotel, that it was meant to be a surprise but they'll need your room number, and that the hotel might call to confirm with you. As much as you love the gesture, it makes you miss them both even more, and you start browsing flights back to Florida on your phone in between takes, fantasizing about having the time to take off and see them.
The hotel calls in the afternoon, and you confirm that anything from your boyfriends has full permission to be placed in your room while you were gone. Sun will be setting in a few hours, there's no time left for your fantasy to come true, not if you wanted to remain professional.
There'd always be next year, you tell yourself.
You message to say that you miss them, and they respond in kind, both quick to assure you that there's always going to be more time, that one day wouldn't matter. Perhaps not in the long run, but today it felt like it did.
So when you get back to your hotel and see the rose petals on your bed, it feels too good to be true.
And when you catch sight of both Dream and Sapnap waiting patiently in the larger living space of the room, you feel yourself begin to tear up. They're both with you immediately, wrapping you up in their arms, endeared as they try and soothe you, murmur for you not to cry.
It's been a long day of heartache, thinking that you'd be without them, so it's all you can do to hold them tightly, a mess of laughter and cathartic tears as you tell them how much you love them both. You hadn't realised just how much you'd missed them until this moment, until you're peppering them with kisses and babbling about how this has gone from the worst day to maybe one of the best of your life.
"So far," Sapnap grins teasingly, kissing your temple. Dream echoes his words, echoes his tone, and you feel yourself growing flustered as your initial wave of shock and awe had died down.
Best day of your life, so far.
· MARCH ·
In early March 2021, the nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards are announced, and HELIX receives 6 nominations; Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Score, Best Visual Effects, and Chris Evans is nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Controversy arises, however, as Y/N is also announced as a nominee for Best Actor.
A statement is released by the Academy the day after the nominees were announced, stating the decision as to which category they were nominated in was due to the technical broadness of the category, and that Y/N's team had been contacted prior to the nomination being confirmed.
A day after The Academy releases their statement, Y/N posts two updates to their Instagram story;
1. A blurry selfie taken in bed, sheet pulled up to their neck, giving the camera peace sign. Across their forehead reads 'its an honour to be nominated, im looking forward to the day that there's a category specifically for nonbinary actors and actresses so people like me don't have to be torn to shreds online when people try to acknowledge and appreciate us'.
2. A photo of a mostly empty plate sitting on their bedside table, covered in crumbs, with a knife and fork sitting in the middle. Their hand can be seen giving a thumbs up closer to the camera, and is captioned '"why didn't you respond before now its been two days????" sorry buddy i was getting my shit rocked and eating pancakes in bed. i knew it'd be a hot button issue online so i decided to celebrate the nom first. im allowed to celebrate my achievements ✌️'.
----
@gnflmnop: you remember that one time @.YourTwitter tweeted about the dsmp right before their movie premiered and then Never Again? Did I hallucinate that? | @YourTwitter: my boyfriends bully me whenever I go to tweet about it :( | @YourTwitter: they're mad about who my favourite is (it goes back and forth but they're never happy with who I say 😔) | @.YourTwitter: if y'all knew my boys this would be so much funnier, I promise this is all v lighthearted. | @.gnflmnop: Who's your current fav?? | @.YourTwitter: @.Quackity 🥰 | @.Quackity: HOLY SHIT
· APRIL ·
HELIX ends up winning four of the six Oscars it's nominated for; Best Director, Best Visual Effects, Best Original Score, and Y/N wins Best Actor.
Transcript of Y/N's winning speech from the 93rd Academy Awards for their performance in HELIX:
Before I start, I need to say something to the people like me - non-binary and trans people like me - beyond this room, watching this live or in the future; hi! Look! We can see it now, you can see me; the world is changing and our future is bright! [Brief pause.] Now, on January 4th this year, my ex-manager told me I was an unhireable PR nightmare, and tonight he decides to text me; congrats on the nom, for your own sake don't start a twitter tirade when you lose, Anthony Hopkins is eighty seven, he can't fight back. [They are becoming audibly choked up.] To that I say; don't you wish you put your energy into something useful? [Pause as they compose themselves.] Which is why I'm up here, thanking my amazing manager who actually believes in me, our whole incredible team behind HELIX, especially Rob and Amandla - you should both be up here with me, because I wouldn't be here without either of you. [They take a moment to clutch the Oscar to their chest, looking overwhelmingly grateful.] And the only thing better than this is knowing I get to see my wonderful, supportive, damn amazing partners after. My favourite place in the world is at home with you both, I love you. [Sniffling, they give a watery laugh.] This is a moment, isn't it? This is our moment. Thank you.
Given the immense exposure of The Oscars, Y/N's speech quickly goes viral. The backlash from the conservative side of the internet is immense, however the outpouring of support still manages to dwarf it. It's seen as a cultural reset, with 'the world is changing and our future is bright' being painted across every LGBT+ corner of the internet. Also, both the polyamorous and nonbinary communities specifically appear to adopt the phrase 'this is our moment'.
----
The following interaction occurred during a Just Chatting stream on Wilbur Soot's Twitch channel on the 30th of April, and can be found in the stream's VOD beginning at 53:46.
"Can I share something surreal with you all?" Wilbur asks, tone vaguely bemused as he was streaming with Tommy, Ranboo, and Philza, "lads, chat, can I share the most, I think unexpected reaction I've received after yesterday?"
"Unexpected how?" Ranboo snorts a laugh.
"Like, I think it was the emotion I was going for, but I never expected this person to contact me?"
"Oh interesting, who was it?" Tommy asked excitedly.
"Well, I mean, there's weird ways the SMP kind of breaches containment that makes me think 'ah, people lying for attention on the internet again'," Wilbur begins, and is met with stifled giggles from the others, who seem to know exactly what he means by that sentiment, "which I don't necessarily know why I think that, since most times it's kind of innocuous or makes a roundabout kind of sense, like a politicians kid getting them to tweet at us, but there was something a few months back that I heard about and I was like 'that's absolute bullshit'."
"You do especially seem to get a few weird ones," Phil agrees.
"And I don't usually get star struck; I'm not trying to brag here, but I've had - well, we've all had - some pretty high profile encounters here and there," Wilbur's voice was rising in intensity, as the others voiced their agreement, "but there was an interaction a few months ago, and I kind of shot my shot since I don't use Twitter and had my Discord passed on to this person, and nothing really came of it."
"Who was it, man?!" Tommy groaned, frustrated by Wilbur building up the encounter, much to everyone else's amusement. Wilbur pauses for a moment.
"Yesterday I received my first message from Y/N since we'd connected on Discord, after months mind you, and it's a selfie of them giving me the thumbs up, whilst clearly crying -"
"What?!" Several of the others in the chat exclaimed, Wilbur clearly matching their confused, startled energy.
"Right?! And you wanna know what the caption was? Here, I'll read it to you guys, it says; Wilbur, why am I crying about minecraft ghost."
Silence.
Then;
"Three days ago they won an actual fucking Oscar; what reality am I in right now?" He crows, still clearly baffled.
"That can't be real," Ranboo announced, sounding a little dazed.
"Why is Y/N Y/L/N crying about minecraft ghost, Wilbur?" Tommy practically yelled, "we saw HELIX together with Tubbo the last time I was in Brighton, I refuse to believe fucking Woolfe shed real tears over Ghostbur!" Then, after a beat, "oh God, and it was my fault too! I need to start writing an apology," he's clearly half joking, and the others play along.
"The character Woolfe?"
"No, to Y/N themselves," Tommy says, adding, "maybe if I ask Dream nice enough he'll take it back."
Not long after this conversation occurred live, the following was posted to Twitter;
@.YourTwitter: ooh lads, me and my parasocial relationship might not survive this one omg @.WilburSoot @.philza @.tommyinnit @.ranboo | @.ranboo: [GIF from Y/N's award speech at The Oscars; Y/N is holding their award to their chest, standing behind a podium. The caption at the bottom reads 'This is a moment, isn't it?'.]
And;
@.Dream: despite wishful thinking, no celebrity tears based twitter campaign will make me take back certain SMP based events. in fact if you tried i think id just double down and say certain minecraft ghosts got what was coming to them | @.YourTwitter: @.YourTwitter | @.YourTwitter: see its that easy to @ me. &lt;3 | @.Dream: didn't you win an oscar? please get a hobby | @.YourTwitter: dont vague me just because ur mad ur not my favourite | @.Dream: @.YourTwitter You make me want to smack you sometimes. | @.YourTwitter: hot. dm me. | @.Dream: Why are you like this? | @.YourTwitter: for the bit. <3
· MAY ·
@.enbyhawke: @.DreamWasTaken @.YourTwitter the people have spoken. Link to the Change.org petition 'Let Y/N Join The DreamSMP'] | @.YourTwitter: @.Dream the people have spoken 😌 | @.Dream: @.YourTwitter the people need to be quiet, I already told you no in our DMs. | @.YourTwitter: [GIF from Mean Girls of Regina George, phone to her ear, caption at the bottom reading 'Boo, you whore.']
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Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Other Fandom: HELX (2020), Dream SMP Relationships: Woolfe (HELIX)/Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) Characters: Woolfe (HELIX), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) Additional Tags: PWP, what is this lol, crack, based on a twitter post, Eric Andre Voice LET ME IN but its woolfe and the dsmp, Power Imbalance, hate fucking, choking, spit, reluctant bottoming, degradation, so close to just writing RPF but im pretending to have dignity, ch 1 is afab!Y/N, ch 2 is amab!Y/N, otherwise the chapters are identical, just like every other smut oneshot with Y/N or their nb characters lol, the Y/N fandom etiquette is beautiful tbh we all know what we're doing here, WAIT c!Dream IS LITERALLY JUST A YOUNG VERSION OF CHRIS EVAN'S CHARACTER OH MY GOD, DOWN TO THE EXPERIMENTING ON PEOPLE AND KILLING THEM AND BRINGING THEM BACK Language: English Series: Part 1 of isn't bite also touch (HELIXsmp) · Next Work -> Stats: Published: 05-15-2021 Words: 4863 Chapters: 2/2
i'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) FullContakt
Summary: There's a price to pay for clear intentions. Woolfe understands the roles and rules of this place and is happy to call themselves a villain, however the one who originally chose that title isn't exactly willing to give it up, so Dream decides to find out exactly how far Woolfe is willing to go for it.
Notes: Y/N and Dream's one online interaction makes me laugh so fucking hard, they're both so chaotic, I don't know who is the one with the audacity here. I think they both have far too much. But anyways, since im lowkey obsessed with the few HELIX/DSMP crossovers we already have here (literally never cried as hard as i did finishing starslikerhinestones's Woolfe/Wilbur MASTERPIECE 'a hero's job is to die'. seriously if nothing else please read it for Hawke being THE BEST OLDER SIBLING to tommy, as long as you don't mind tragedy and heartbreak) ANYWAYS seeing that interaction between Y/N and dream just made me think that Woolfe and c!Dream would HATE each other so here, they beat the shit out of each other... and yeh fuck a bit. Enemies-to-enemies-who-hatefuck.
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Sapnap makes an offhand comment during a stream about how he's missing their housemate since they went to the UK. Dream seems to share this sentiment, joking 'and we didn't even get to swap them for George while they're gone, it's so unfair'. Both seem genuinely disheartened by the housemate's absence, but make a note of how proud they both are of everything the housemate has been doing.
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From May 20th to May 23rd, the 'PenisSMP' or 'PSMP' trends on Tumblr as a shitpost directed at the Minecraft YouTube community, that flourished on the oft overlooked blogging platform, was quickly co-opted and expounded upon by said community.
In amongst its colourful cast and rapidly developing lore, several real figures were included and adopted into the kayfabe, including current members of the DreamSMP such as Tommyinnit (given the alias 'Wife_Haver' in the PSMP), and ConnorEatsPants, with no significant alterations to his already established character whatsoever, just that he existed in this SMP too. Alongside them, Y/N was quickly adopted into the lore and cast of characters with the in-game alias of '4rs0n_R1sk', as first mentioned in user @.localtubboenthusiast's post;
localtubboenthusiast literally why is anyone surprised that fvckass blew up half the server?? why is ANYONE surprised they keep setting fires??? they were literally hand raised by 4rs0n_R1sk!!! #who is literally being played by one of the most chaotic actors of our generation #this is why dream didn't let Y/N join the dream SMP #hes a coward #psmp #penissmp #penismp #y/n y/l/n #4rs0n_r1sk #fvckass the sheep #fuckass the sheep
And the follow-up question they received;
Anonymous asked: WAIT HOLD UP THATS WHERE I KNOW 4RS0N'S VOICE??? ITS Y/N????
localtubboenthusiast answered: yeah apparently they're friends with penis irl and asked if they could join out of spite after the whole dream refusing to let them into the dsmp thing 😂 can't believe they literally don't even stream they're just there lol
#also in case it wasn't clear i AM a PenisUnavailable And ShittyFartBaby69 Are Actually Y/N's Boyfriends truther #4rs0n_R1sk #Y/N Y/L/N #PSMP #penismp #penissmp
Fanart of '4rs0n_R1sk' usually depicts Y/N as either their character Woolfe from HELIX, or Contakt from The New Mutants with a warm colour pallet and fire powers. They are usually drawn with 'Fvckass the Sheep', 'PenisUnavailable', or 'TurboThruster'.
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@.YourTwitter: went to dublin and all I got was spit on. they give you exactly what you ask for here, amazing customer service 🥰 | @.Ic3_Squared: Hey bestie some thoughts should stay in your head ❤️
· JUNE ·
I Spent A Day With DREAM was posted to YouTube by Anthony Padilla on the 9th of June, and the following exchange begins around minute 5;
Dream: God it's so weird, actually, because there's been these huge changes in my personal life that have happened, like, parallel to the whole YouTube thing, but are still significantly effected by it, if that makes sense? Anthony: What kind of changes to do you mean? Dream: Like, uh, I'm not fully sure if I'm able to talk about this, though I guess if this bit makes it into the video I've confirmed that I am allowed to actually talk about it, [Dream laughs] but I feel very lucky to currently be in the best relationship of my life, but like, I feel like that would have happened, like me- me and my- you know, [Dream stumbles over his words a little, as if to purposefully dance around the precise wording of the relationship] that would still be happened even if I never blew up.
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📌 Pinned Tweet @.dreamnaps-housemate-updates: If Dream is dating his housemate that would be news to us too. We don't have any more information than anyone else on this matter. Please stop asking us, thank you.
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On June 26th Twitter user @.goldenghostgirl asks you if you'd be watching Minecraft Championship (Pride), and who you'd be watching. You respond less than half an hour later with three consecutive tweets; 'me and my parasocial relationship will be watching pink parrots 😌🦜💓', then 'only because @.smajor didnt invite me to play which isn't his fault since he doesn't know I'm secretly very good at minecraft.... but just so you know... for next pride... 👀 👉👈' and finally 'im actually being legit here, minecraft as a game is far bigger in our house than I really let on, I'd love to prove my boyfriends' mentoring has paid off 💖'.
For MCC Pride, the team Pink Parrots is made up of SolidarityGaming, Grian, Wilbur Soot, and Technoblade. Highlights from their team during the event include;
Wilbur makes a point to say hello to Y/N at the beginning of the event as he figures they're probably watching. When providing clarification for the situation to the rest of his team in the VC he refers to it as 'mutually parasocial'. Wilbur also jokes about becoming an honourary member of Y/N's polycule. Y/N does not publically comment on any of this; it is not made clear if they saw it.
Technoblade mentions that Dream has been DMing him during the event, and that both he, and his housemate who isn't Sapnap, but is just happy to be here, are cheering them on.
Wilbur's fire alarm chirping aggressively, much to his growing frustration, until he has to disconnect as there is apparently an actual fire emergency in his building. He had to talk to the firefighters who arrived on scene in order to confirm that he was safe to re-enter the building. He is able to rejoin MCC.
In Wilbur's absence, there are several suggestions for a temporary replacement; Technoblade suggests Dream, Grian mentions that Y/N has put their hand up on Twitter, while Wilbur himself suggests Philza Minecraft. Philza ultimately becomes Wilbur's temporary replacement.
Philza breaking down with laughter when he reads your follow up tweet; "Don't look at me, I retract my statement. Coach, I was wrong I'm not ready for the big leagues, you shouldn't put me on. If you have the choice of Philza Minecraft of course you choose Philza Minecraft." He then adds, as his laughter dies down, that he understands now why Wilbur had called his interactions with you 'surreal'.
After the event concluded, you post one final tweet; "if any interviewer ever brings up today I WILL lie."
· JULY ·
On July 14, the final episode of Loki is released on Disney+. During one of the final scenes, after the timelines have all split and Loki is making his way to try and warn Mobius about what had happened, we see Y/N being dragged through the facility, clearly reprising their role as the mutant Contakt (Itta Marie) from 2020's New Mutants.
An hour after the premiere of the episode, Y/N tweeted twice;
1. 'oh yeah lol should update my IMDB about that'.
2. 'nd yeah dad acquired, for those keeping score at home' [Image ID: Y/N and Tom Hiddleston in costume as their respective characters Contakt and Loki on the set of the Loki series. They appear to be in an animated discussion between takes.
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@.YourTwitter: there's no irl sdcc so no-one can stop me from cosplaying and doing some sort of Q&a.. need suggestions. And questions.
@.YourTwitter: imagine if I became a twitch streamer lol. anyways q&a here [Link to user PR Nightmare on Twitch.]
"Tommyinnit in my chat? Is this real?" You found yourself beaming with delight, "do you wanna join? DM me your Discord on Twitter, you're awesome, dude!"
"Are you cosplaying Ghostbur?" Is the first thing Tommy asks the minute you voice call him.
"I am!" You tell him with delight.
"Why?"
"I miss him," you admit freely. Tommy snorts a laugh, but the conversation trails off until, "it's so cool to talk to you finally, both my boyfriends speak so very highly of you."
"You're... a fan of mine?"
"I like your videos, yeah," you agree without hesitation, "and your arc is super compelling to watch on the SMP."
Tommy goes very quiet for several long moments before you hear faintly 'ow... ow... ow...'.
"Are you okay?" You ask, concerned, and Tommy hums for a moment.
"Sorry, just had to pinch myself a few times," then even as your laughing fondly, he continues, "still not convinced this is a real conversation I'm having."
----
@.dreamnaps-housemate-updates posted a clip from Sapnap's then-latest Minecraft stream on July 28th with the caption 'i love the way they love';
"What's been your favourite part of living with me so far?" Dream's voice is saccharine and teasing as he asks Sapnap live on stream.
"God, you're so needy," Sapnap laughs, though his tone is fond. While his focus remains primarily on his screen where he's playing Minecraft, occasionally his gaze will flick to something to his left, off camera.
"Thank you," Dream sounds quite smug, "but is that really your favourite?" In the silence that follows, Dream's tone takes on that saccharine tone as he prompts again.
"I mean if you twist it the right way, like with the right words," Sapnap sounds uncharacteristically soft, almost embarrassed, and seems to be intently focusing on his game with a faint flush to his cheeks.
"Twist what? Me being needy?" Dream half laughs, but Sapnap continues, sincere.
"I mean, I obviously wouldn't actually word it like that, but you're obviously the best part of living with you," he admits, a warm silence follows, and finally Sapnap looks directly at whatever is to his left, though he still appears to be addressing Dream when he speaks; "I'm not mentioning our housemate because they already look like they're a half second away from saying something emotional despite the fact that I'm live," he warns pointedly with a grin, as if to stave off the housemate in question. Then, after a moment, he softens his tone and expression considerably, practically radiating affection, "but you're the other best part about living here."
----
@.StardewwSoot: how long have @.YouTwitter and @.Callahan been mutuals? 👀👀
· AUGUST ·
@.YourTwitter: in Switzerland, finally able to add another Hot Hollywood Dad to my collection of father figures @.VancityReynolds
@.YourTwitter: ALSO PREMIERE OF FREE GUY AT THE LOCARNO FILM FESTIVAL!! DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE LEAD WITH THAT!!
----
During an interview as part of Free Guy's press junket, an interviewer asks Joe Keery and Ryan Reynolds if either of them had met Y/N's partners.
"No, but I'm sure they're having a great time in Canada with my high school girlfriend," Ryan says without missing a beat as his younger costars break out in laughter. All three of them are grinning, a clearly easy comradery between them all, even as Y/N gives him a shove and insists their boyfriends are real. "Oh yeah, then what are their names?"
"I wish I could tell you, but I literally can't," you admit, a little sheepish, even as Ryan loudly proclaims that you're not making a strong case for yourself, "I wish- dude, I promise I wish I could tell you, but you wouldn't even begin to believe why I can't!" You insist once more.
----
@.yourtwitter: my toxic trait is every time I miss my boyfriends I read fanfiction about them and send them links to my favourites | @.yourtwitter: the reviews are in folks
[screenshot of a group chat titled '🎉 No Noise Complaints Since 8/23 🎉'. cat daddy: [screenshot of above tweet] cat daddy: your toxic trait is being funny when we're not able to publicly respond H0TB0I: your toxic trait is never specifying when you're missing us or being a menace Ryan Reynolds Lover: ????? cat daddy: @H0TB0I cranky because you skipped the tags and read mpreg aren't you Ryan Reynolds Lover: oh lol yeah no I was just being a menace when I sent that sorry 😅❤]
| @.asheeberree: WAIT PEOPLE WRITE FANFICTION ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIENDS??? WHO ARE YOU DATING??
Less than an hour later, Sapnap tweets out "our housemate just said 'pass me your phone I want to cause problems on purpose' so that's the only context I can give for whatever the next tweet is ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯" less than three minutes later, the following tweet is posted to Sapnap's alt account:
@.sapnapalt: dreamnap housemate here hello sap's twitter, I have a question. why are y'all sleeping on omega!dream and alpha!sap as concepts? I'm absconding with his phone so you have time to answer and I can see your responses before he deletes this 😘
· SEPTEMBER ·
A selection of articles and quizzes from Buzzfeed.com tagged Y/N Y/L/N in the month of September, 2021;
If Ever We Have To Elect A Representative For All Millennials, Here's My Pitch For It To Be Y/N
(Quiz) Plan Your Mission And I'll Tell You Who In The Mandolorian's Crew Would Be Your Bestie
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· OCTOBER ·
On October 3rd, you tweeted in rapid succession 'Callahan's my best friend now', 'hacker voice: im in', '@.Quackity heyyyy what are u doing rn? u free buddy?' and then a link to your Twitch account, where you were live on the Dream SMP.
The following is one of many short clips that you liked on Twitter after your Stream ended;
"Hey look at you go," Quackity laughs "you know your way around here better than I do; you weren't lying about watching us it seems."
"Yeah, well I play quite a bit with my boyfriends, since it's something they're really into, and they really got me into the SMP in the first place; they've been invested in this since day one," you said, smiling warmly before you leaned close to your camera and mic, "and now chat, you're gonna go ahead and clip that for me, and post it to twitter, so they can see it."
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Dream and Sapnap both post photos to Instagram of several Halloween costumes they wear together. Most of the photos are just of the two of them, always with Dream entirely covered to continue obscuring his identity, but the final photo of both photosets is one of the housemate, for the first time in record.
They appear to be wearing a black hoodie, black gloves, black jeans, and appear to have borrowed the mask Dream has worn previously.
In Dream's Instagram post, the housemate is looking directly down into the digital camera they have around their neck, clearly having been taking the photos for Dream and Sapnap. The mask is lifted off of their face and sits on top of their head, however with the angle they are looking, the mask completely obscures their face and smiles directly at the camera.
In Sapnap's post, the setting is different to any of the other photos, as it appears to have been taken in a living room. Dream is still wearing the black hoodie and Squid Game mask, while the housemate appears to have fallen asleep with their head in his lap. Dream's mask is on the arm of the sofa, as is what appears to be a bright green hoodie. The housemate's hood is up while they're laying with their back to the camera so their face isn't visible. Dream is resting a hand on their hip and has his phone in the other, seemingly still using it despite his mask.
On Halloween itself, Y/N posts an image of themselves against a black wall dressed the same way as Dream appears in a few of the earlier photos he'd posted of himself, with a green hoodie, completed with a large, white, smiling mask. Both on Instagram and Twitter the photos is captioned 'this is my official apology to @.DreamWasTaken for breaking into his server'. Dream responds on Twitter telling you 'you're on thin ice....... lucky you're almost as cute as i am in that fit'.
· NOVEMBER ·
On November 11th, the trailer for the 15th season of sitcom 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' is uploaded across the series' various social media platforms. The clip, that lasts just over one minute, appears to take place in Dublin, and includes indications that Y/N will play a reoccurring character throughout the season.
The two most notable clips are;
'Sweet Dee' seems gleeful as she informs Y/N that they are a great assistant, before immediately spitting upon them.
And;
"So we need you to clarify which of us is gay -" Dennis posed the question to Y/N standing close beside his sister.
"Mac, right? He's the gay, isn't he?"
"Yes," Dennis frowns, "but he likes men, and you are -" he gestures to their body, "not. However, if we," he gestures between himself and Dee, "both are trying to sleep with you, then one of us is gay," he paused, visibly deliberating, "or, well, not gay, but also not straight, since that would make this much easier for me, but for me to be straight you'd have to be a woman and you are -" again, he gestures to their body, "not..." Dennis clasped his hands together, tone growing almost furiously frustrated, as if at Y/N themselves, "so now, you beguiling little minx, have made us both potentially neither gay nor straight, you have turned us into Schrodinger's Fruits!" Waiting, breathing hard at the end of his outburst, it cuts to Y/N, visibly confused by the situation, brow furrowed.
Not long after the clips are posted, you retweet it with the caption 'show with the most BDE (big dad energy)' and a photo of yourself on set in Dublin in the middle of a cheesy group hug between the five lead actors of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Not long after, the show's official twitter responds with;
@.AlwaysSunny: Welcome to the family! [ID: Four stills from the upcoming season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; 1. Dennis clearly having taken Y/N by surprise, grabbing them by the shoulders and kissing them. Neither appears to be enjoying themselves; Dennis's entire expression is scrunched up like he's smelled something awful, while Y/N is so tense their arms are throw out to the side. 2. Dee and Y/N nose to nose, both staring intensely into each others eyes, the tips of their tongues awkwardly touching where they're poking out of their otherwise closed mouthes. 3. Charlie and Y/N both covered in mud, fully clothes in a bog up to their waists, passionately making out. 4. Mac leaning against a bar counter from behind it, beaming brightly at Y/N who is slouched at the back. Mac is gesturing proudly to four different coloured liquor bottles lined up in the order yellow, white, purple, black, thus making a side-on nonbinary flag. Y/N is giving the display a tired smile.]
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@.YourTwitter: I honestly can't believe that on Halloween I celebrated a year with my dream boi, and like a week later I got to celebrate again with hot boi, just before the anniversary of HELIX. | @.YourTwitter: everything has happened so much this year, Im so proud of all the wonderful people in my life and all the projects we've worked so hard on!! | @.YourTwitter: omg this might have been the best year of my life..... | @.Dream: so far. | @.Sapnap: So far. | @.YourTwitter: @.Sapnap @.Dream ur both so right,, best year of my life So Far 😌
· DECEMBER ·
December 2021 is surprisingly quiet.
At the beginning of the month you announce that since you've actually got some time off, you're going to be stepping back from social media to focus on spending time on your partners and yourself. Many voice their support for you, including both Dream and Sapnap.
Sapnap streams far more frequently than Dream, and it's notable that he seems incredibly bright in all December streams, even moreso than usual.
Dream does two Twitter Spaces during the month, and in both he sounds practically giddy, explaining that both he and Sapnap are glad to have their housemate home for the holidays.
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The Archive Of Our Own tag 'Clay | Dream/Sapnap/HousemateWasTaken' has 98 works by the end of 2021. The fanfiction with the highest kudos in this tag is 'Tommy's Guide to Imports and Exports', which is part 3 of user alliumc4t's series 'The Kids Aren't Alright'. This series revolves around the romantic relationship between Dream, Sapnap, and their housemate, whilst also becoming legal guardians of Tommyinnit, Tubbo_, and Ranboo. The series is still labelled as ongoing, and contains the following fics;
'Ohana' Isn't A Real Word
Blessed Be The Boys Time Can't Capture
Tommy's Guide to Import and Exports
Time's Arrow (The Achilles Heel)
The Only Normal Person In This Whole Damn Building
Flags and Other Decorations
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And finally, to book end the year, Y/N posted the following Tweet just after midnight on New Year's Eve:
For all you asking, the boys were each other's New Year's kiss, I gave our cat a smooch on her little fuzzy noggin. Good start to the year all around. 💖
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