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twodimecastle · 3 years ago

Text

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #dr spencer reid #my writing #spencer reid fluff

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minahoeshi · 3 years ago

Text

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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urbfsecretgf · 3 years ago

Text

The boy next door. (pt1?)

a/n: this is my first time writing stuff like this is went though and looked at a bunch of other peoples stories and took into consideration on how they did it. i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it if not more. :)

(everything is made up, names, ages, street names, and the phone number.)

_________________________________________________________

you and your family had just moved from beautiful NYC to a small town all the way across the country. in your room you are trying to figure out ways to introduce yourself to your neighbors in hopes of meeting someone your age.

"hi! im y/n! no that wont work, uhhh, hey! im y/n! we just moved in next door, ugh this sounds so lame"

your little brother BURSTS into your room

"JACK GET OUT" you scream "mom told me to tell you she wants us to go into town and figure where places are"

your brother is a few years younger than you, hes 13 and you're 16. this isn't your first time having to move with your family. your mom is a single parent who gets job offers all the time. sometime she has to take them even if she doesnt want to move again but she has to because of money problems.

"ill be out in a minute let me finish getting ready. please." jack rolls his eyes at you and sighs "fine but hurry up" "i will, now get out of my room"

you start getting ready, you put on your favorite t-shirt and a pair of your favorite black ripped mom jeans, you throw your hair up into a messy bun, throw on some of your strawberry flavored lip gloss and put on some perfume and walk downstairs.

"jeez took you long enough" jack says while you're putting shoes on. "at least i tried to look presentable unlike you"

"knock it off you two, be back before dinner and have fun." your mom says as she kisses your cheek, "i love you both now go its going to be dark out soon"

you and jack set out to town and stop at an ice cream shop. you order a vanilla swirl cone and you get some chocolates for your mom. "what do you want?" jack orders a strawberry cheesecake cone.

you hear the bell on the door jingle while you are waiting for both of the ice cream cones to be handed to you.

"ayeeee its my favorite customer! havent seen you in a while. how you doing vin?"

you look back to see this tall, blonde haired boy with tattoos and lots of jewelry. hes probably the most handsome boy you have ever seen.

"holy shit" you whisper

jack whispers back to you "i heard that."

you hit his shoulder

"im doing great man, its a beautiful day outside, ive been out skating all day so i just came in to get some of my favorite ice cream from my favorite guy." vinnie says to the cashier

"vanilla swirl in a cone?"

"you know it!"

the worker handed jack his ice cream cone and then handed you yours.

"alright heres the vanilla swirl in a cone for you, you two have a nice day now" she said with a smile

"ayeeee vanilla swirl AND IN A CONE?? bro you got good taste" vinnie says to you.

you laugh and say thank you.

"im vinnie"

"y/n"

"ah i knew a pretty girl like you would have a pretty name"

you smile and blush

"are you new to town? i dont think ive ever seen you around before" vinnie says while grabbing his ice cream cone.

"yeah we just moved in yesterday, its my mom, little brother jack, and me"

"yeah that makes sense, where'd you guys move from?"

you, vinnie, and your brother head outside and sit at one of the tables. jack sees that there is an arcade across the street and begs you to let him go. you give him money to let him play so you can talk to vinnie alone.

"we actually moved from new york. my mom got a job offer over here and moneys tight right now so we had to move."

"oh thats understandable, so where do you guys live now? that sounds like im trying to stalk you i promise im not im just curious. i live on greendale over there."

"no way! we do too!"

"haha isnt that something, whats your house number? i wanna know if you guys moved in right next to me. there was a house for sale not too long ago and it was right next to mine."

you laugh and tell him what it is.

"HELL YEAH BRO! thats the house next time."

"actually?" you cant tell if hes just messing with you or if hes being genuine.

"yeah" he laughs and offers to walk you guys home.

"oh yes please. that would be wonderful i dont really know my way around town yet and i dont wanna get lost."

vinnie laughs and tells you; "i promise if you stick with me, we wont get lost. i'll get lost in those beautiful eyes of yours tho. ohhhh im smooth! sorry that was dumb"

the two of you laugh and you see jack coming out of the arcade.

"i dont have anymore money" he said while holding 3 giant stuffed animals.

vinnie walks you and your brother back home and as soon as you get there jack rushes inside to show your mom what he won at the arcade.

you and vinnie sit outside for a couple minutes and talk.

"it was nice meeting you y/n. oh im missing something."

"did you leave something at the picnic table? i can go inside and tell my mom that ill be back and go with you to look for it."

vinnie smiles and says "no im missing your number, its not in my phone" he winks at you as he hands you his phone to put your number in.

"wow you're really on a roll today huh." you take his phone and punch your number in.

"i'll text you after dinner. maybe we can plan something out for tomorrow or if you need help with moving in, i'd be glad to help."

"yeah no of course. i think we could really use the help."

"sweet just text me anytime you need something and ill be right over."

"thank you vinnie i really appreciate it"

"anything for a pretty girl like you."

you blush again and say thank you. "it was nice meeting you vinnie, have a nice night and text me later"

"yeah it was really nice meeting you and your brother too, tell your mom i say hi as well"

"i will" you say smiling

you both say bye to each other and head into your houses.

as you are walking into the kitchen you feel your phone buzz.

New Message from +1-453-555-8000: hey pretty lady :)

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie x reader

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weeb-writor · 4 years ago

Text

Taking a “Bullet” for you

Hello! So today I have another Bakugou x reader but this time as requested(cause its a request ;p) the reader is male! Feel free to read it if you are any other gender tho! First time writing for a male reader so I hope its good! Also I don't know shit about paintball so I did a little research but most of its years of Laser tag knowledge from birthday parties at Zap Zone lmao. Hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Masc!Reader and Bakugou meet at a paintball event and fluffy moments take place

Words:1180

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were so excited to attend the weekend long Paintball event. Not to brag but you were pretty damn good, always placing number 1. Of course, you did have a reputation of being unbeatable. This weekend would be no different although you did hope someone there was at least a challenge.

“L/N, dude! Nice to see you again!” One of the regulars greeted you.

“I wasn't gonna miss this for anyone or anything!” You said with a grin.

“Did not doubt that at all, man. Lots of new faces this time around. I hope their good or we don't get matched up with them.” He said and you glanced around and there were new people, your eyes met fiery red ones. You smirked at the owner of the red eyes before your focus was back on the conversation you were having.

“Huh, who said I even wanted to be paired with you.” You gave him a shove but before he was able to get a remark the admins called for you guys to start getting your papers with your given team. It was pretty quick and soon you were gearing up, the red eyed guy next to you.

“L/n, I'm so glad I'm paired with you!” Madoka, who was another regular, said next to you.

“Glad to be with you, don't think I'm gonna carry all of you though.” You said with a chuckle, everyone around laughing too.

“Okay, so the best strategy is to pair up and go after them that way. If you're caught alone you're likely to be targeted by multiple people but do not! Absolutely do not group up, you'll create a bigger target. That being said you and you pair should be in range of each other but not too close. When picking a target try to find groups, trios, or solos that are preoccupied. Got it?” You said to the small group everyone nodded at you.

“And what makes you in charge?” The blonde says frowning at you.

“Nothing and I’m not in charge, just trying to win.” You smiled at him, he huffed but didn't say anything further.

“Okay then, let's pair up!” You said any almost everyone rushed to your side, you deadpanned before your eyes caught the blondes again.

“Sorry guys, I’m with… firecracker!” You waved them off with a smile.

“I don't need a damn partner! And my name is not firecracker dumbass.” He roared at you. You smirked at him.

“I'm sure you don't but I do plus I wanna see how we match up against each other! See who’s best y’know.” You said leaning against the near wall. His eyes glinted and you smiled at him.

“I’m L/n and happy to be your player two.” You said extending your hand. He glanced to his side but shook your hand.

“Yeah, heard that from your adoring fans… I’m Bakugou.” He said as the countdown began, you and everyone else readied themselves and soon you were off. Everything was pretty standard so far you had hit 12 people and Bakugou hit 10. He was a little too close to your score for your liking.

“You might wanna speed up princey, i'm coming for your score.” He said lowly to you, you let out a low chuckle at him as your eyes caught something behind you. You didn't have time to warn Bakugou before you tackled him to the ground. His eyes located the person behind the tree with ease and quickly put his arms around your body and angled the gun to shoot them, hitting them dead in their chest. They were quick to scatter.

“Nice shot.” You said getting up and offering him a hand. He took it with a grumble. Just like that the match was over, your team winning of course. The curious thing was you and Bakugou’s score. After taking into account all the people you shot, your style points, and other things. You ranked first by .5, not even a whole point. This had never happened before, it was sort of thrilling. Bakugou even though he was behind by .5 was elated and smug his friends hyping him up. You walked over to them with a smile.

“So i’ve gotta go but you plan on coming back tomorrow or any other weekend?” You said to him kind of hopefully.

“Like I’d come back to play at this shitty place again, I only came cause Kiri wanted me too!” He roared at you.

“Okay, see you tomorrow firecracker.” You winked at him which he blew up at. You weren't surprised to see him and his friends there the next day.

“Hello firecracker, nice to see you again.” You grinned at him.

“Don’t call me that and I am not here for you! I’m here to wipe the floor with you and steal your fans.” He said roughly to you.

“Oh so you want to do something with me?” You smiled at him

“That’s not what I said you shitty man!” He shouted and you erupted into laughter. You two were on the same team again and in the end Bakugou was behind you again this time by a smaller margin, .3 to be exact.

“Catching up.” Bakugou grinned, waving at you as he walked out the door. This light teasing was had become routine every weekend, at some point his friends stopped coming and it was just the two of you. At the moment you two were both looking at your results, both smirking.

“Congrats on number 1, firecracker.” You said to him with a smirk.

“Yeah, congrats on number one too.” He said with a small smile not meeting your eyes. Yeah, you had both had tied after almost 2 months of him trailing behind by a hair.

“Here, got this for you.” He said shoving something into your hands. It was a fairly large box with a messy bow on the top. You opened it to reveal a Paintball gun in your favorite color with an explosion charm, the same one on Bakugou’s gun.

“Thank you!! It's so awesome!... you know I was thinking im a cool dude you're hot and sorta cool, we should go on a date.” You said to him with a toothy grin.

“Don't get it twisted! I’m not into a shitty guy like you, i'm just thanking you for...playing with me.” He trailed off angrily at the end.

“I don't know the way you took a “bullet” for him really says otherwise.” Madoka said with her airy giggle. She was referring to last match where Bakugou hugged you to shield you from the incoming balls, it was cute. He blushed and started to yell at her. You didn't say anything just laughed and started toward the exit.

“Where are you going!” Bakugou yelled to you, you paused and turned to him with a grin.

“To this great takeout place not far from here, they also have a small dine- in area, y’know for our date.” You said beginning to walk again.

“Like hell were doing that for our first date! Really is there not a single ounce of romance in you, you really are a shitty man. I’ll plan our damn date then.” He said catching up to you, grumbling the whole time.

~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #mha imagines #mha x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha x male reader #bnha x reader #bakugou x y/n

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daddyjackfrost · 4 years ago

Note

okay heyy 🥰 do you write for lev? How about Lev + 34 👀

heyyy🥰🥰🥰🥰 i do now!

prompt 34: “If I gave you a chance, would you take it?”

hurt/comfort (aged up!) (bye this isn’t even hurt??)

lev x f!reader

You tapped your foot, irritated. Lev is late again, and you had just about had enough.

You had met Lev a couple of months ago. You had just found a new coffee house and it quickly grew on you. Coincidentally, it was Lev’s favourite coffee house.

You didn’t spot Lev, though you often wonder how you could’ve missed him. Lev spotted you. Tucked away in a secluded corner, your face covered by you favourite book. The Secret History. It wasn’t until you felt a tap on your book that you realized Lev was trying to talk about you.

You still remember what he said.

“That’s my favourite book! I feel like I identify with Richard too much.”

Instantly, you were intrigued with the insanely tall grey haired man. You remember how his green eyes pierced your own, and the way your cheeks flushed when you took in how good looking he was.

Sighing, you pushed your chair back and stood up, grabbing your iced coffee. Lev had asked you out to coffee today but he didn’t even show up. It had happened three times now, and you had enough.

You knew how demanding his job was. Modelling was not easy, and you prided Lev for working so hard, but it didn’t feel nice to be stood up.

You grabbed your purse and walked out the coffee house, tired and slightly embarrassed.

As you walked, you tried not to think about Lev. After he had said he identified with Richard Papen, you invited him to sit, and from there on, you and Lev became fast friends. Obviously, it was very hard not too fall for the model. Not only were his good looks just overwhelming, his personality was capturing. His catlike slanted green eyes were intimidating, but when he opened his mouth, all that intimidation was thrown out the window.

Lev was a slightly childish and cheerful guy, and he had wedged his way into your heart.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wait!”

You didn’t stop. You didn’t need Lev to look at you with those piercing eyes, because you knew you would forgive him, but you were quite sick of being stood up.

A firm hand grabbed your shoulder, halting you. You shrugged the hand off and turned around, meeting Lev’s covered eyes.

He wore sunglasses and a hat, trying very weakly to cover his identity.

“Y/n, hold on. I’m sorry.”

You tilted your head up to look at him. Lev looked down at you with guilty eyes, but you didn’t waver. You liked him, but did you like his lifestyle?

“Sorry, Haiba. I have somewhere to be.”

You didn’t even manage to take a step before Lev had grabbed your arm, gently.

Pleading, he looked down at you. Lev knew he was late. God, he knew. But he couldn’t escape his manager.

“I’m so sorry. Let’s go for coffee right now?”

You both looked down at the coffee in your hand and he cringed, rubbing the back of his neck.

You tried to smile at him. It didn’t matter how much you liked him. Your lives differed, and you didn’t belong in his lifestyle. You knew that, and it was time he did too.

Taking a couple steps back, you gripped your bag tighter.

“Lev.”

Lev looked at you at your voice.

Flexing your fingers anxiously, you took a deep breath. “I think you’re really cool, but I don’t think we should continue... whatever this is. You’re busy all the time, and I don’t like the feeling of being forgotten. Let’s just part ways, yeah?”

You wanted to end what hadn’t even started yet. There was no point in getting attached or create expectations when you knew you would just be disappointed in the end.

Lev looked down at you with wide eyes. The model wasn’t used to having people not want to be in his company.

“You...you’re sure? I promise I won’t be late again. Scouts honour.”

Your lips lifted into a small smile at the attempt at humour, but you both knew he was lying. Lev was late to a lot of things, and it turns out he was too late here too.

You nodded softly. It’s not that it didn’t hurt, it did, but you didn’t have high expectations. You were just you, and Lev, well Lev was so much more. A previous volleyball player and now model. There was no place for you in his world, not with your ordinary self.

“Yeah.”

You didn’t let any more conversation happen. Smiling at him, you turned around and walked away.

Though, absent minded to you, you were the first person to walk away from Lev Haiba, and he hated it.

*** 4 Months Later ***

Stupid, is what you are. You honestly thought that you would last see Lev that day, but you had forgotten that you lived in the heart of the city, in an apartment.

You woke up to a shirtless billboard of Lev Haiba every day since that day.

It was ironic really.

Every time you looked at the billboard, which was at least once a day, you couldn’t help but think about what could have been. What would your life look like right now if you hadn’t cut Lev off?

Shrugging, you lulled yourself to your kitchen. You had an early shift at the library and you wanted to eat before you got there.

You had only opened your fridge door when the bell rang.

Sighing, and then slamming the door closed, you trudged to the door, pulling it open.

Your breath hitched when your eyes fell on the man that had plagued your thoughts for the last four months.

Lev stared at you with wide eyes, out of breath. He couldn’t stop thinking about you since that day, and every day since, he hated himself from losing you.

Lev was in the middle of a photoshoot when he saw his copy of The Secret History. Admittedly, Lev only read the book because he saw you reading it at the coffee house before he introduced himself. He had noticed the way your eyes never wavered from the page, completely mesmerized by the ink of the page.

So, later that night, Lev bought a copy and started reading it. He finished it two days later, and when he went to get coffee the next day, he only hoped you were still reading it.

The coffee house wasn’t the first place Lev had seen you. It was like fate was trying it’s very best to push you two together. First, Lev had seen you run across the street while he was in his car. Then, he saw you in the park outside his agency.

That day at the coffee house, Lev had planned to officially ask you on a date. He was sick of pushing fate out of the way. Damn his job, he just wanted a nice evening with you.

Not being able to see you or even text you over the last four months had killed Lev. He had grown attached, and though his friends always teased him about it, he had never felt this way about anyone before.

You gripped the door harder, blinking a few times, trying to wake up in case you were sleeping.

“Y/n...” Lev whispered.

You noticed the crinkles in his suit, and the way his usually parted hair was now a mess.

“Lev? What are you doing here?”

Lev blanked. He had planned to pour his heart out to you, but now that he stood here, he felt stupid. You were the one who had cut it off, whatever it was you two had. You were the one who walked away, and it looked like you didn’t regret it.

Oh how wrong Lev was. Because you did regret it.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Lev straighten himself out.

“Y/n, I... I can’t. I tried really hard to forget about you. I tired so hard to just move on, but I couldn’t. I like you, y/n. Too much. Way too much. It’s killing me inside and I don’t know why I feel like this.”

You stared at Lev with wide eyes. Was he... serious? Lev liked you? No. That can’t be.

You pursed your lips, but when you eyes his clenched fists, your eyes softened.

Letting go of the door, you stood straight, hugging yourself.

“If I gave you a chance, would you take it? And not just to try it out, I mean really take it? I don’t do short infatuations, Lev. I’ve had bad luck at relationships, and I need to know that you’re all in.”

Lev nodded, his eyes desperate. “We haven’t even known each other for long, but it kills me to not have you in my life. I know my lifestyle is hard, but I promise I’ll try to make it work. I promise I’ll put you before everything else.” Lev took a few steps closer to you. “I’m all in.”

You smiled at the man, and opened your door wider.

The library could wait.

BYE I DONT LIKE THIS.

what are the chances of me taking this down tomorrow and rewriting it?

i’d say 98%

this is such soft hurt/comfort. hmmm. real hardcore angst coming soon! this is too soft for me

LOOK AT THIS PIC OF LEV THO. IM SORRY IDK THE ARTIST, ALL CREDIT TO THEM THO.

@elektrosonix @h-grangerstudies @snoozless

oh my pls just step on me

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#lev haikyuu #lev haiba #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenarios #hq prompts

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bts-reveries · 4 years ago

Text

mini me | 15

(ps, this is the written part from the last update)

“Daddy!” Youngjae yells, running into his dad’s arms when Youngdo shows up at your front door.

“I thought we were meeting much later?” You say, walking up to the two with your arms crossed. Youngdo looked you up and down and laughed. He had Youngjae in his arms, carrying him so they both looked down at you.

“Did you just wake up? it’s past noon,” He asks. You scoffed, turning away from him and walking to your room.

“We already ate breakfast and lunch, I thought you’d come much later,” you say as you’re walking away. Your voice was fading the farther you got into your room. “Are we leaving now? Should I get ready?”

“Unless you want me to take you out dressed like that,” he replied. Youngjae was also in his pajamas and he looked at his dad.

“Should I change too?” Youngdo looks at him and nods. “Can you help me get ready?” Youngjae asks hopefully. His dad laughs, nodding his head and putting his son down.

“Yay! Let’s go to my room then!” He yells, running straight to his room while Youngdo follows.

“Where are you taking us?” You ask as all of you were in Youngdo’s car. He never actually mentioned where the three of you were going.

“Somewhere nice. You’ll know when we get there,” he says. You purse your lip and nod. You look down at your phone, constantly checking if you have gotten any texts. Especially from Taehyung. The last time you two saw each other was all you’ve been thinking about. Now you know he feels the same way. But is it the right time? It should be right? A perfect man doesn’t just come out of nowhere. I mean, the two of you almost kissed! If it wasn’t for--

“Why are you so quiet?” Youngdo asks, turning to you quickly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You’re acting like we’ve never been on a date before,” he says. You scoff, turning towards the window.

“It’s not a date.” Youngdo tilts his head slightly.

“It kinda is. I asked you out, you said yes, and now we’re going to our favorite place. It’ll be fun,” he says, turning the corner. You gasp, as a park full of cherry blossom trees comes into view.

“Do you remember now?” He asks you, smiling.

“Where are we?” Youngjae asks, staring out the window.

“Mommy and daddy went here on our anniversaries of when we first dated,” he says. You were surprised, shocked even. “In fact, today would’ve been the seventh year since we dated,” he says, turning to you. You felt your cheeks hot and red. You had forgotten. You didn’t think it was something to keep track of anymore since you two weren’t together.

“It’s pretty here,” your son says, excited to get out of the car. Youngdo couldn’t help but laugh as he saw your stunned face.

“You forgot?” He asks, as if the two of you were still together.

You couldn’t help but smile as Youngjae laughed, kicking the fallen petals on the ground. He held onto your hand with his right hand, and his dad with his left. The two of you would swing Youngjae up every now and then, making him giggle even more. You loved seeing him happy. It made you happy as well. You couldn’t help but look up at Youngdo and see the genuine smile on his face as he looked down at your son. This was what you’ve always wanted.

“Remember that spot?” Youngdo asks, pointing to an empty bench underneath the trees. You smile, remembering the times when your younger self would be so head-over-heels with the man holding your son’s hand right now. The two of you spent hours sitting there, talking. Every anniversary, you two sat on that bench, eating a small cake he’d buy for the both of you to celebrate with.

“How can I forget,” you say, looking up at him with a smile.

“What is it,” Youngjae asks. You look down at him.

“It’s mommy and daddy’s spot,” you tell him. The three of you walked up to the bench, Youngjae instantly sitting in the center.

“I brought something too,” Youngdo says, putting a bag on the bench.

“Snacks?!” Youngjae asks, scooting next to the bag to peek in. He lets out a little gasp, turning to look up at you.

“What is it?” You ask.

“CAKE!” He yells excitedly. Youngdo takes it out and hands it to you.

“I thought we’d celebrate like old times. Happy dating anniversary,” he says with a smile. You laugh, taking the box with the cake inside from him.

“Yeah, you too..”

“I also brought you some kimbap Jae,” He says, taking out a container and handing it to your son. He was very thankful and excited, you were shocked. This wasn’t the same Youngdo you know, but it was the one you once knew.

“I told you you’d have fun,” Youngdo says, driving the three of you to a cafe. You three spent a good few hours at the cherry blossom park, reminiscing the good old days. You two had wonderful memories there. You’ve taken Youngjae there once when he was a newborn, but that was when your relationship was starting to fall apart. You didn’t talk about that though. You just talked about how you two were when you were younger. Before Youngjae was born. At first, you felt like he was trying to say how much better it was when your son didn’t exist but then he mentioned something that you couldn’t get out of your head.

“I’m glad we were able to take him here again, as a happier family.” Everything that just happened today was everything that you had ever wished for. You were happy, with your son, with his dad. It was how you’ve always wanted to be. A happy, perfect family. Your young self was wishing for this while you and Youngdo were blowing out those candles on your first anniversary cake. Then your second, then your third, all the way to the very last one you spent together when Youngjae was just a couple of months old. That last one was when you learned that wishing on candles was a lie.

But now you’re wondering if it’s just a late reaction.

“I did,” you reply, “thank you.”

“I had fun too,” Youngjae says, “I can’t wait to tell Uncle Cupcake about today!” You laugh, you didn’t think Youngjae could go a day without talking about him and this is the longest he’s ever not mentioned Taehyung.

“Tell him how much you love my kimbaps,” Youngdo says, looking at his son from the rearview mirror. Youngjae gives him a thumbs up, making him smile.

The three of you were now in the cafe, waiting for your hot chocolates to arrive. You each got one to drink. You sat across from Youngdo, your son sitting right beside you.

“We should do this more often,” Youngdo says, you nod your head.

“We should.”

“Let’s invite uncle next time,” Youngjae says, trying to get on your lap.

“You want Taehyung to come?” You ask him. He nods.

“He’ll like the trees. He can take pictures of them and paint them,” Youngjae tells you.

“Maybe he can come one day,” you tell him.

Youngdo was watching the both of you, listening to your conversation when your phone lit up in front of him. He looks down, seeing Taehyung’s name. He grabs the phone to read the text.

“We’re still up for tomorrow right??” Taehyung says, Youngdo replies.

“Tomorrow?” He says. Taehyung messages back about a painting, asking if you’re busy. Youngdo began to play along, pretending that he grabbed the wrong phone, thinking your phone was his. Taehyung didn’t seem to know that you and Youngjae were still out with Youngdo.

“Do you like hanging out with just mommy and daddy?” You ask your son, oblivious to what Youngdo was doing.

“Yes! I like it when you two are together,” Youngjae says. “I like it when Uncle Cupcake is with us too,” he whispers to you.

“Oh is that why you want him to come with us next time?” You whisper back at him. Youngjae nods.

“Okay, maybe next time, but as for now I think it’s good it’s just us with daddy,” you whisper.

“I agree,” Youngdo says. Your phone was now in between you two. You smile at him.

“So when should we go out again?” Youngdo asks. You were taking a sip from your drink when you shrugged.

“I’ll be busy these few weeks. I have a thing with Taehyung,” you say. Youngdo’s smile falters. “Speaking of, I’m supposed to come over tomorrow,” you say, grabbing your phone.

“Can you facetime him,” Youngjae says, looking over your phone.

“Okay, we’ll call him real quick,” you say, facetime calling Taehyung. You look up at Youngdo. “Sorry, this’ll be quick.”

“Hey,” Taehyung answers.

“UNCLE TAE,” Youngjae yells, instantly bringing a smile to Taehyung’s face.

“Hey buddy, how are you?”

“I’m so good I have so much to tell you!” Youngjae answers. You pull the phone to you before he ends up talking to Taehyung for hours.

“You can call him again when we get home baby,” you say. “Sorry for bothering Tae, hope you weren’t busy--”

“Oh don’t worry, I wasn’t. Plus, I’m never too busy for you,” he says, with a wink, making you laugh. You could see Youngdo’s frown from behind your phone and you try to change the topic to what you originally called for.

“Well anyways, We’re still with Youngdo,” you say, turning the camera to show him and Youngdo smiles, waving to the camera.

“Hi Cupcake,” he says. Taehyung waves back.

“Okay,” you say awkwardly, “well I just wanted to ask what time should we come over tomorrow?”

“I get off of work at 3pm, would 4pm be good?”

“Sounds perfect, I’ll see you then,” you say.

“Okay, I’ll leave you three alone now then,” Taehyung says, waving bye.

“Okay, we might call again when we get home, Youngjae is pouting right next to me,” you laugh. Taehyung laughs along, saying okay.

When you end the call, Youngdo looks at you.

“Should we have breakfast tomorrow morning then?” he asks.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

mini me

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part fifteen: anniversaries ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader

a/n: i’ve been having trouble making time to write this but i finished my work due today, i’m going to pretend for now tho that i don’t have so much english hw due on sunday

taglist: @heartfeltscribblings @taexmichi @prdshobi @smarshere @i-swear-im-a-soft-stan @igotarmyofarohas @butterflylion @miagracegrande @casspirit0705 @ephyra1230 @cosmicdaylight @bbyjoonies @betysotelo18 @strwberry-jam @rjsmochii @chocobetterknot @notmontae97 @alpaca1612 @yoongistruth @dragonqueen01 @silentlyimpractical @hecticwonderer @joanc24 @angjeon @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @sweetmoonlight9 @samros95 @dreamcatcherjiah @sonderkook @taekookcaneatme @listless-losers @kookietsukkie @goldenchemistry @salty-for-suga @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness @softboyfriendtae @raplineh0e @ess-place @callmepaopao @ggukvii @ramyagovindraj @yoongiverse @mipetronella @cloudy-skys @jikachoo @nxtrogers @kookoo-kachoo @taestannie @hispoutylips @hallofbtsmasterlist

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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golden-voices · 4 years ago

Text

Jealous Inosuke x reader

Gimme that spicy spicy. Jealous Inosuke x reader, or if you’re not comfy with that, then Giyuu. Like maybe we were at a fair during college or sum (whatever AU) and these guys flirted with reader and they’re like “haha thx” cause they’re oblivious. So they “claim” reader as there in a little hidden section. (So like... semi-public) Im not tryna right the whole plot Im sorry, idk if you want mucho detail or not 🥺🥺 So uh... just public Inosuke or Giyuu x reader basically 🥺

I finished my first request yaaay! But I don’t think that i fulfilled the original request tbh (accidentaly deleted it haHA) :(

Writing this actually was harder than expected, as English is not my first language lol, but I think it turned out well for my first non-school-related writing.

If you got critism oder tips feel free to tell me!

And sorry, I don’t know much about college or what a fair is :’) I hope you still like it.

[Warnings: nsfw, semi-public]

As you were on a mission with the Kamaboko squad and the flame pillar, you happened to get into a festival in a village you were passing by.

The smell of food, people laughing and kids screaming, your friends talking. All of this makes you happy, but seeing your boyfriend having so much fun and tolling around makes this festival unforgettable. But this damn demon... for three weeks you haven't found a trace, except for the remains of his victims. Your thoughts drifted to your mission again and again...

"Where's your mind wandering, (y/n)?" Tanjirou blurted out, pulling you out of your thoughts. Now the others got curious too... great. "Uuh, I just can't get my mind off that demon," Tanjirou slightly furrowed his eyebrows as he began rubbing your shoulder, "We can worry about this tomorrow, but now we should take a break!" he cheered. "Yes (y/n), your face is too pretty to be ruined by sadness!" stated Zenitsu with a dreamy glance in his eyes, his cheeks turning red. As they were going on comforting and complimenting you, you felt an intense glance on you...

"Why won't they stop touching her?!"

Inosuke was furious. His eyebrows were wrinkled and his lips pursed as he was obviously jealous. The green-eyed couldn't hold himself back anymore... "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, WHY ARE YOU ALL HITTING ON HER?!" He squaled, pulling you out of their range. The attempts to calm him down only made him irritated.

Surprised you were looking at him. You are used to him being impulsive and not able to control his feelings, but something like this?

"Is he.. jealous? That's kinda cute tho,"

You just had to laugh. Inosuke stopped mid-sentence to look at you with a confused expression "Why did you laugh? DO YOU THINK I'M RIDICULOUS, HUH?". Out of consideration for the others, you asked your upset boyfriend to talk about this in a quiet place. But Inosuke didn't want to talk.. he wanted the world to know that you are his. Suddenly he grabbed you and pulled you through the crowd, "OKAY" he yelled, "IF YOU SAY SO".

As soon as you reached a place away from the festive turmoil he threw his boar mask to the ground and pinned you against a wall. "INOSU-" You couldn't even end your sentence because he pressed his lips against yours. Gasping you pushed him away from you but that didn't stop him, it just turned him on. "When I'm done with you-" he pulled at your uniform "-everyone knows that you're mine."

"We're in public, Ino.. S-Stop..." You tried complaining, but your complains faded into moaning as the heated young man began to leave hickeys on your neck. With a husky voice, he whispered right into your ear "No (y/n), I won't stop until marked what belongs to me". Hearing his seductive voice and seeing this wild gaze in his eyes you couldn't resist him anymore, so you slung a leg around his hip and stuck your tung in his mouth.

"It's YOUR fault if we get caught, mister," You told him while he was taking off your shirt. "Shut your mouth and take that fucking bra off!" He responded in a harsh voice while struggling to take your bra off. You just had to tease him after a good laugh "What if I won't, huh?". Getting annoyed by you getting cocky he pinched your butt. The moan you let out made him even harder. "Fine, here you go. But watch out for someone coming, please" You dropped the black bra with a floral pattern to the floor.

As soon as your bra fell onto the floor Inosuke grabbed your breasts and squished them. "N..Not so rough, my breasts are sensitive you know that" You mumbled. He didn't bother listening to you, he instead grabbed your thigh even rougher and pulled you to him. You could feel his hot breath at your ear, causing you to hold on to him tighter. You pressed your hips into his so you could feel his covered erection.

Inosukes mind was going wild at the sight of your shaky body. Your leg in his hands, your red face, your twitching thighs, he didn't care about getting caught, it only would declare his dominance even stronger.

"We haven't done it in a while..."

his thoughts were going.

"I want to take her hard,"

While slipping his hands under your panties, he discovered you already dripping wet. A feeling of superiority coming up, he inserted one digit into you, "You're already dripping after five minutes of making out. Do you desire me that bad?" provocatively asking while sticking another finger into you.

You couldn't stay quiet, not after Inosuke began fingering you. Every time he pushed his fingers a bit further up your cunt you let out a pleasant moan. Passionately he sucked your neck, leaving love bites everywhere. You already were a mess, but when he hit your G-spot Inosuke felt you clenching around his fingers. Wanting you to beg he stopped moving.

"D..Don't stop now, I'm close," you told him with a shaky voice. The only response you got was a throaty "

Beg

" and a dominant glance, so you begged him.. "Please, I need you now", "I'll do everything you want me to", "Make me cum" your voice getting breathier with every sentence. When you whined enough to make him feel like the best partner ever, he pressed your G-spot. "I'm the only one who can make you beg like this," he claimed, "Am I right?". But as you didn't reply to him, he quickly inserted a third digit into you. "Yes Ino- aah.. You're the only one I'd ever beg for", satisfied with your answer he fingered you with a faster-becoming pace.

Reaching your climax you bit into his shoulder, leaving a bite mark. He didn't stop pleasuring you through out your orgasm, but when he pulled his fingers out of you, you slid down to the floor, breathing heavily. "And now I'm making you come on my cock" the horny man mumbled while taking off his pants.

"(y/n), Inosuke!, where are you?!" A voice coming closer and closer echoed off the walls of the alley where Inosuke was taking off his pants. "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON DUMBASS," you shouted at him while hurriedly getting dressed again. "But I-" he wanted to convince you, but he was interrupted by you pulling his pants up.

"Finally I found you two! I've been worried so I decided to check if you were okay!" The flame pillar exclaimed energetically. He just stood there looking over the both of you, standing there stiff, all sweaty and messy, with hickeys all over your necks. The moment he realized where he walked into he blurted out "I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOU! But the others are waiting, so come back!" and just got on his way back.

Still scared by Rengokus sudden appearance you took Inosukes hand and started following the blonde. "If someone asked, we were arguing, and don't you dare tell something different. But anyway, why have you been so jealous?" you looked Inosuke straight in his eyes, still embarrassed as hell. " BECUZ THOSE FUCKERS WERE ALL FLIRTY WITH YOU" Rengoku turned his head around at Inos yelling. "YEAH, YOU TOO DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT" The man turned around fast with a guilty look on his face. "But Inobaby, they've just been comforting me because I was worried," you explained. "You're even denser than me sometimes... But in contrast to me they didn't make you forget your worries, heheee" A smut face replaced his pissed expression. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Legend says the boar man is rockhard to this day.

#kny #kny imagines #Inosuke hashibira #Inosuke x reader #smut #inosuke smut #fanfiction #inosuke fanfiction #hashibira inosuke

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miyaniacs · 4 years ago

Note

Hey!! I think this is an emergency request? But I was wondering if you could do an x reader in which she has an ED and self harms with Yamaguchi, Oikawa and Akaashi? If the topic makes you uncomfortable, could you just do fluff with those three? I’ve been feeling terrible lately and I need comfort like this rn this would mean a lot to me thank u :) i don’t wanna feel like im pressuring u into anything so if you don’t feel comfortable writing this it’s totally fine!!! Thank you :D

Hiiii :)

Sorry it took so long - I was really sleeping in & needed to finish an Assignment that’s due to tomorrow 💀 also... I'm sorry I just did Yams and Oikawa... I really wanted to do Akaashi, because he’d just be perfect on how he’d act in this situation... but I just couldn't get myself to write for one more rn... and I want to post it for you.. I can still make one for Akaashi another day, just sent in another request baby ❤️🥺

ALSO my messages are open love, I know how you feel so hit me up if you wanna talk 🥺

Ok so just a Little disclaimer - it could happen that I’ll write some personal experiences/ thoughts since I think I had an ED / developed one (but kinda stopped it getting worse ) and it still pops up here and there ( actually just last week ) - like I never been diagnosed but still I’m pretty sure lol

Also idk what kind of ED you got BUT I belive it’s probably under eating / binge eating so I mainly include those

masterlist

Warnings : mentions of selfharm & ED

HC s/o with an ED and Self harms

Yamaguchi

alright ... so ....... you stayed over at his the night

You two made dinner and it was all prefect

You quickly went to the bathroom afterwards tho

Then you came back and helped him cleaning up the dishes

He was joking around and you laugh and push up your sleeves and start cleaning

Yams suddenly stops laughing and just stares at you

“Yams? what's -” you stop and realise what you just did

Today was such a good day, you totally forgot about your breakdown last night, after failing to do any of the things you were supposed to do that day and stepping on the scale realising you gained weight.

“ I- I - can... Can we just forget you saw this?” you stutter and pull down your selves again

Obviously he won't just forget it

he gently takes one of your hands and leads you to the living room and sits down on the couch with you

“Why?” he whispers

you just stare at him, unsure if you can tell him the real reason

after a few minutes of silence you begin to talk

you tell him everything

the second you start talking you can’t stop

the words spill out of your mouth, happy that you can finally get all those toxic thoughts out of your head

Tears start streaming down your face while you tell him you’re feeling not good enough, like a failure, like you're trying to loose weight and developed an ed, yet you’re still to stupid to loose any weight etc so you just feel like you have to ... like punish yourself?

Yams listens to you carefully and with every word his eyes get more and more glassy

after you finished talking, he pulls you into the tightest hug ever

“baby... why haven't you told me, I'm always here for you, you shouldn't deal with all of this alone”

sooo you stay in this position for a little longer, you both trying to calm down and stop crying

“Now... let me tell you - I will keep on telling you this over and over again, every single day of my life if I have to - you are enough, you are perfect in my eyes, you don’t have to loose any weight, but if you want to, then do it in a healthy way... I willing to help you in any way possible.” He takes your hands and moves them up to his face, kissing your knuckles

the rest of the night, you cuddle, him trying to confound every toxic thought you have

he also gifts you a soft hair tie and makes you promise him, that you would use this, instead of hurting yourself

his phone is also from now on not silent anymore in case you need someone to talk to at night

the next weeks, he’s getting up earlier, making you some healthy, low calorie lunch so you don’t have to feel pressured to eat in the cafeteria and feel the need to throw up again afterwards. He’ll also tries to increase the cals, every other week.

Oikawa

He probably realises that something is up, the second his stupid ass walks into the bathroom when you just got out of the shower

It’s winter so you always wore sweatshirts and those cute wide leg pants

also you haven't been feeling good the past weeks, so there wasn't really a chance for Oikawa to see you in tight clothing or well ... no clothing at all.

so when he saw you for this small second just now, his heart drops

he just stands there shocked, tears already running down his face, not moving a muscle

“Y/N... I - since when - Why - I- “ he stutters not able to find the right words

You stood still, towel in your hands, shocked expression on your face

this is like your worst nightmare, he shouldn't see this, at least not now, not like this

“Tooru, I can explain...” you stutter and look down at the ground

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to ... I just.. can I hold you?” He whispers in between small snobs

you nod and he takes a set forward, carefully placing his arms around you, now afraid he could hurt you or break you

He doesn't feel your soft curves anymore, his fingers are now met with the little bumps of your rips

You hide your face in his neck and start crying

the snobs make your body shake, which made him feel your bones move under his hands - which results in him crying even more

“You’re just so perfect and I'm just me... all those beautiful girls who fall for you, with their skinny legs and waist, looking so delicate... I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me...”

how couldn’t he notice? WHY haven't he? HE could NEVER be ashamed of you NEVER

WHY was he so busy with Volleyball? he should have noticed that you weren't eating.. but he always thought you’ve eaten before...

after you calmed down, he takes the towel and helps you getting dry, his eyes always stuck to small red lines on your legs, right under your hips

he walks over to where you kept your medics and all the first aid stuff and started treating your wounds

He takes off his hoodie and puts it over your head and picks you up bridal style, carrying you to the bed

He puts you down and quickly hurries to the kitchen and makes some tea for you

You’re now seated in between his legs, your back resting on his chest while his arms are wrapped around you, rocking you from side to side, while you two watch some Disney movies

after you finally fall asleep he takes out his phone and reads all the articles on the internet about self harming and ed’s.

He makes a note on his phone where he writes down all the things he could do to help you, and all the little signs so he knew when one of your conditions gets worse again

he makes sure that from now on, you two eat at least one meal together

he’s always encouraging you, if you feel like not eating, he begs you to at least eat one small bite, if you feel like eating the whole salad, girl, he’s hyping you up so much

he sees that you gained some weight?

omg be prepared for a full week of him praising you of how beautiful you are, hyping you up, etc

and GODDD IF YOU NEED NEW CLOTHES BECAUSE YOUR OLD ONES DON’T FIT ANYMORE SINCE YOU GAINED WEIGHT

he is spoiling you to the Max

he is willing to fly you to London, Paris, La, etc so you get the best clothes available

some small things he also do is : form that one night on, every day, he sends you a voice note of him telling you how amazing you are, how much he loves you, and lists at least 10 things why he loves you and why he’s proud of you - so from now on, before you grab that one small blade, you listen to this voice note and if that doesn't help, you only need to text him 🆘 and he’s already faceting you, dropping everything he was doing and getting to your house asap

also he’s probably trying to get you into working out with him, so he can control that you don’t overwork yourself and helps you gaining more muscles again and tells you about the benefits of weight lifting, since muscles burn calories while doing nothing at all, YET they need top be feed to remain

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa headcanons #oikawa imagine #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi imagine

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someone-worth-racing-for · 4 years ago

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Hey there!

I am quite new here and I was wondering how you got into this fandom. Specially the carlandofandom :)

Also, when did you start writing? I saw your posts the other day about not being able to write all of it, so it somehow triggered me to write some stuff myself (some requests were just too cute).

Havent been properly writing for ages though and I am not quite sure if anybody wants to read my stuff...any advice? Im so indecisive...

Thanks for all your great stories and have nice day :)

Hey you, anonym and especially – welcome to the fandom! 🤗❤️

Oh my God, believe me – you actually don’t want to know how I got to this fandom, it’s such a long story.. You better grab yourself some Coke and popcorn, because this will be a longer one.. 🥤🍿

But alright, everything has begun with that the TWD (The Walking Dead) fandom has started to annoy/boring me, also because the show has become pretty bad and I wanted to leave the sinking ship before it will be too late. That must have been around autumn/winter 2018. During the winter months I really, really love to watch ski jumping, also because it’s pretty popular in my country (Austria). I was already a fan of it since many, many years, but I only became a real fan at that time. I always say I love this sport so much, because those jumps are always so “quickly over” – meaning that I don’t have to wait for too long to find out the results. Yeah, the competition itself isn't that short, but the individual jumps of each athlete are. That’s why I actually “hate” F1 so much, because I have to wait freaking two hours of pure stress, several mental breakdowns and heart attacks later to finally find out who will win, and also because so much can happen during a race, while those ski jumpers are practicing individual – does that make any sense!? However, so I got pretty deep into the ski jumping fandom over that time, especially also here on Tumblr, where I have met a pretty nice girl back then, who had been as thrilled about the fandom as me. But you know, during the summer there aren’t any competitions, so it had been pretty boring in the ski jumping fandom and then suddenly that girl came up with F1.

The first thing I have thought was ‘NO WAY! NEVER EVER!’ – you have to know, I have really hated F1 with a passion before August 2019. I was always making fun of my boyfriend watching those cars driving in circles for two hours. I just couldn’t understand it how someone can watch that voluntary (I sometimes still can’t..😅) and I really, really hated it with everything I had. My boyfriend even was at the Austrian GP in 2019 and back then my biggest nightmare would have been if he would have forced me to come with him (he got there with his father in the end – today I would give everything to get there!)

I remember, we have been on vacation during the beginning of August 2019. We were in a theme park, when my boyfriend said at one point that he will get over to that bench in the shadow under the tree now and watch the qualifying. I have really thought he was kidding me, because I couldn’t understand how the hell someone would watch something so stupid like F1, while being in a freaking theme park. Well, today I would be the one sitting there on the bench, while my boyfriend would probably urge me to please finally stand up so we could go on 😅

That was at the beginning of August 2019 – so I must have slowly but sure fallen for the fandom around 15th of August. And if you believe me or not, but I have neither fallen for Lando nor for Carlos at the first place. It was actually Max, also because he was one of the less drivers I have known next to Lewis, Sebastian, Valtteri (I always had to think about Harry Potter because of Bottas..😂) and probably Nico. But I have actually began to “stalk” when I have got to know about that Max has a little sister and I have found those sweet pics of him with her together (Do you know which pics I mean? You should really check them out – they are so cute). And somehow Lando came into the play as well and so my first story for this fandom resulted. Back then I have really, really thought it would be the first and also last story I will ever publish for this fandom. Well, that didn’t aged well..😅 Somehow my interest grew and grew with every more day stalking the internet for content and by the time of the first race after the summer break, I was already a fan. Spa 2019 has been the first F1 race I have ever watched from the start till the end and I have to say that this weekend has broken me (literally). Of course, because of Anthoine, but also because this time of the year is since 2017 never easy for me and on that weekend also Carlando finally came into the play. Check out this post from a few weeks ago – Carlos’ birthday on Sunday and that Lando has supposedly hugged Carlos after his DNF has really, really touched my heart and since that day these two boys own my heart and I remember, that the next day after the race I have got up at five in the morning to write “Tomorrow will be kinder” – because writing is sometimes my only way to deal with things, so I just had to write my thoughts/feelings down and it was the beginning of something beautiful actually.

But there is one more little story I have to tell you about my F1 past – this story right here is actually one of @hurtsprincess favourite ones. Because back in 2015, when F1 was finally back in Austria again, I was there by the race as probably the biggest F1-hater under all of them. Half of our town and so also most of our friends has got there, so it was kind of peer pressure, why I have finally joined them as well. We had to stand up really, really early – actually it was still in the middle of the night (I think it was three in the morning or so) and got to Spielberg with the bus. It was one of the hottest day of the year back then and after watching “the race of generations” with Niki Lauda, Gerhard Berger and some others and then following also the F3 and F2 races (Me, back in 2015: What do you mean there are races before the actual race? What the hell is F3 and F2?) and because we were so damn tired after standing up so early, most of us, including myself, were sleeping in the meadow during the F1 race. So I have missed over half of the race and I really can’t even remember anymore who has won 😅 But it had still been a funny day for my as a F1-hater, but believe me - if I should ever get to a GP again, this won’t ever happen to me again! 😅 I promise! 🤞🏼

Wow, this has turned out longer than you have actually wanted it, right anonym?!

Your first question about how I have got into the Carlando fandom is probably answered now and also half of your second question. But I have actually started writing fanfictions back in autumn 2016 for the TWD fandom. I have written overall 16 stories for that fandom and 4 stories in German for the ski jumping fandom, but as much as I have already loved to write fanfictions back then, it only really became my passion and biggest hobby with Carlando. I just can’t stop writing about them, also because they make me so happy and for me so easy with those dorks just being them 😊

Yeah, I’m still very sorry about that I just can’t write stories to all of these great requests, even tho I would really, really like to do - but if you have got inspired by one of these, you should give it a try!

But if you are really that indecisive and shy, you could use the anonymity of the internet for your favor (in this case this posibilty is a good thing - as long as you use your anonymity not for spreading hate/attacking/bullying someone) You know what I mean? I actually did/do that as well. Only three people here on Tumblr know who I really am. Some of you may know from where I am (because I don’t make a secret out of it) and some here even know my name, but that’s it. I don’t share any more personal things about my identity, because I also prefer to stay anonymous here, especially because only my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother know about that I’m writing fanfictions. All those other people I call “friends” don’t know about it or me having this account here and I also don’t want them to know, because they simply wouldn’t understand it.

What I’m trying to say here - if it makes you feel better and also more secure, you could upload your story on AO3 without telling anyone it’s you. Or if you don’t want to post it on AO3 and you also don’t want to post it on your Tumblr account, I offer you to send me your story anonymous. I would post it in your “name” aka anonym, saying that this story isn't mine and you could watch/read the reactions.

You don’t have to lose anything, anonym 😉 I would really, really like to read your story, no matter if you will decide to publish it with your name or anonymous. Because there won’t ever be enough writers out there, blessing us with their great stories. Also because I am as much a passionate reader than a writer. And I’m also pretty sure about that you are talented and also about that your story would be more than just worth reading it 😊

Thank you so much for your message, anonym and I’m sorry my answer turned out to be so long 😅 but I really hope my words have helped you in some way, because I’m pretty sure about that you actually don’t have to have a reason to be that shy and indecisive 😉 Just give it a try, as long as it makes you happy 🤗❤️

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neveergoodenough · 3 years ago

Text

07272021

making a su1c1d3 note for fun ^^

if you are reading this then, congrats you know how to read! oh and also that im gone

i dont know, im so tired. i feel like theres nothing going right in my life. on the outside i may look like a happy go lucky girl (i am on most days) and privileged one that everyone wouldnt guess that i, want to die.

im turning 23 tomorrow and whats the point really. as i write my anxiety is eating me up. i hate my birthday. i dont understand how anyone can be happy on their birthday. to me its like a reminder that i failed to complete my one goal, to die.

people will cry sure. but i can only count on my hands the people that will actually care, the people that will actually say that my absence left a whole in their life. bcs thats the truth, people will forget you eventually, alive or dead.

i dont think id had a person cry for me. its not an obligation of course but that they care to that extent. i dont really feel like i have friends sometimes. maybe i have 2 or 3 but thats it. the rest will and some already have forgotten me.

i have learned that life really does not have any meaning. we are just organisms bidding our time here on this floating and tainted rock. existing just to suffer. why cant it be my time now?

individual notes:

flo - im sorry. i know we promised each other that we'd go together but i couldnt anymore. i will start building our belle epoque at my destination. dont come so soon yet tho since i will be taking my sweet time planning it out, getting right material, watching the yt vids on how to build, yada yada. so dont catch with me yet. you still have a lot to do there and pls for me, survive and be happy.

ven, ianna, angel - hi besties. thank you for all the support you gave me since day 1. i know na one chat away lg kamo prmi sa bsan ano, so im going need you all to continue to do that with each other. be each other's strength. i wish you all happiness, and im sorry.

la fam x homo - pls continue to pursue something that was once my dream. i have no doubt in my mind that you all will find your own place in this world. thank you for the friendship even tho i slightly distanced myself. im sorry

mama - sorry ma, i have never been the perfect child. often times my selfish and prideful self stood a little higher. this pandemic distanced us even more than before and it might be an excuse but i still feel guilty. take care of your health and make good choices.

papa - honestly most of my traumas growing up was because of you. my anxiety, why i became so reserved as i grew up, and depressed (but u dont believe in that, right? let me be your perfect example then). but despite all of these, i couldnt hate you 100%, you were a good father, a provider. i will always be thankful for that. so dont blame yourself too much. do better pls, atleast for darla. you were wrong all along papa, i am not your strongest child.

lance - it was from you that suffered the biggest betrayal from. but i dont have the energy to be angry at you anymore, i can never get to you. you are like a closed boom that cant be opened but at the same time i dont wanna open anymore. im tired. but despite all of this, i so hope you are happy now, i hope you live your own life making your own decisions and owning up to all of them as well.

darla - all my money goes to you. i dont care kung anhun mo, go abroad or whatever. dont be oa, im not a millionaire but just take my money. withdraw it all before you all register my death certificate. my doh schol when i die will be cancelled but i wont leave you with debt so dont worry about that. wala na ko da so by all means darla, you have the freedom to leave our house na. no point in staying there if youll still be miserable. do it for yourself. save yourself. **pin numbers in my notes app

you can sell my bts stuff, they cost a fortune i promise. i want my funeral to be small, no unneccessary people (u know who, darla)

well this is goodbye then, i cant fully say i lived a good life since there was a lot of suffering. ill just say i lived a good chunk of days that made me want to survive for a little while longer.

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seijch · 4 years ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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yikeswtfmate · 5 years ago

Text

(1) New Message from Unknown Number

main masterlist // (1) New Message Masterlist // next part

Summary: Y/N is drunk and can’t remember her ex’s number.

A/N: Hello, it is I, the idiot who writes Social Media AUs when she’s drunk but is too lazy to put them in the proper format and just leaves them to die somewhere on her laptop

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Social Media AU - that’s a lie, it’s actually just texts in Word format 🤡)

Warnings: swearing, dumbassery

Unknown Number: Hey asshat so listen

Unknown Number: I kno we hvnt spoken since like

Unknown Number: High school but whateve idc

Unknown Number: U’re an asshle so I dnt even care that its like…

Unknown Number: 3 in the morning nvrmd

Unknown Number: Ive ben dared to txt my hottest ex by these evil witchS so

Unknown Number: Here u go

Unknown Number: At least u had decent abs so congrats on tht jfc

Unknown Number: also u dnt get to complain abt this txt bc like

Unknown Number: u dated me for 6 months on a dare so U KNOW WHat this shuold feel like ya

Unknown Number: Wow dude that sounds like a dick move

Unknown Number: Seriously who the hell dates someone for 6 months on a dare?

Unknown Number: Doesn’t that only happen in movies though?

Unknown Number: hey bitchass dont act like u don’t kno what im talkinG abt

Unknown Number: Oh shit yeah, sorry. I don’t know who this asshole of an ex is but I sure as hell am not him

Unknown Number: Dude sounds like a complete waste of human space

Unknown Number: And I think I wouldn’t get to live it down if my friends would hear I did something that shitty

Unknown Number: Wait lemme ask Sam

Unknown Number: Nah, he says Steve would’ve beaten my ass if I were to do that so there u go

Unknown Number: m sorry who tf are u

Unknown Number: Bucky

Unknown Number: what kind of stupid name is bucky

Unknown Number: Shit man, u’re the one blowing up my phone at 3 in the morning, sending me weird ass messages when I don’t even know u and u dare say my name is stupid???

Unknown Number: Sheit srry

Unknown Number: Is been A long night

Unknown Number: nd week

Unknown Number: Actlly make thAt the whle entire fuckin month

Girl with asshole ex: Srry fr bothering u

Unknown Number: It‘s cool

Girl with asshole ex: Hey the witches ask if ure hot

Bonky: Yeah

Girl with asshole ex: WHAT THE FCK MAN AT LEST BE A LIL BIT HUMBLE SMH

Bonky: U wanted me to lie?

Girl with asshole ex: Fair point

Girl with asshole ex: They wnt a pic

Girl with asshole ex: Pic or it didn’t happen punk

Girl with asshole ex: Tht was nat

Bonky: What kind of party are u at that you can constantly text me?

Girl with asshole ex: Wanda’s place

Girl with asshole ex: Girls night

Girl with asshole ex: Getting hammered on wine BITCH

Girl with asshole ex: Also dnt change the subject

Bonky: I don’t even know your name

Girl with asshole ex: Why would I tell u my name I just want to see a suppsdly hot asssd

Bonky: You know mine and now you want me to send u a pic of me

Bonky: Bit of a disadvantage here babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: BABE if I tell u my name will u send a pic of u so we kno u arnt a 60yr old perv

Bonky: I’ll think about it

Girl with asshole ex: Hey fuck u

Girl with asshole ex: Not fair

Bonky: How do I know you’re not the 60yr old perv?

Girl with asshole ex: Cuz she got big tiddies to prove

Girl with asshole ex: And that was wanda

Girl with asshole ex: So now u know my fridsn

Bonky: Still don’t know your name tho babe

Bonky: Also tell Wanda she shouldn’t give out this type of info to strangers

Girl with asshole ex: ure not a stranger anymore bonky

Girl with asshole ex: ure my babe nao

Bonky: I’m going to let that Bonky slide just bc u’re cute

Bonky: But I’m also going to stop replying until you tell me your name

Girl with asshole ex: U think im cute?

Girl with asshole ex:

Girl with asshole ex: I mean u havnt even seen me but thats fair

Girl with asshole ex: Wand and nat say its true so ill believe u rnt lying to me rn

Girl with asshole ex: But I wanna see if ure cute

Girl with asshole ex: Wait why r u up st 3 in the mrng I mean we re drunk but wht r u doing

Girl with asshole ex: Babe u need to take better care of urself

Girl with asshole ex: Babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Ph shit ure actually ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: I dont like this

Girl with asshole ex: I actually like talking to u

Girl with asshole ex: Pls stop ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: COME BACK AND LOBE ME

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: It’s Y/N

Bonky: Now, that wasn’t so hard was it?

Babe: fcuk u

Bonky: I’m up at 3 bc we ordered pizza and decided it’s time to beat Sam’s ass in Mario Kart once and for all

Babe: Nd how’s that going for ya?

Bonky: Bitch has been beating us for the past 3 hours

Bonky: Thor is the only one getting at least close to him now so we’re about to give up

Babe: Wait shit how r u replying so fast if ure playing Mario kart tho

Bonky: I gave up two hours ago

Babe: Quitter

Bonky: Just gotta know which fights to pick babe

Babe: Heads up I might be fallin asleep soon

Bonky: Drink some water before that, maybe get some food in u as well to soak up all the alcohol and have an advil close for tomorrow

Babe: Ok MOM

Bonky: Hey Wanda willingly told me you have “big tiddies” so your friends don’t seem to be doing a good job of taking care of you

Bonky: Might as well let me do it so you don’t die tmrw

Babe: Ohhhh so u careeeee babe im touched

Babe: Kkkkkk Ill talk tu u tmrw ill be dead soon

Babe: Nd I do have big tiddies

Bonky: Good night babe

Babe: What the shit

Bonky: I see you survived

Babe: Barely

Babe: My head might explode soon and I feel like I’ve vomited for an entire lifetime

Babe: TMI sorry

Bonky: I’d like to point out I’m glad I don’t have to decipher your texts anymore and that you can actually spell properly

Babe: Fuck you Buckaroo

Bonky: I would also like to remind you that I have on good authority that you have “big tiddies” so don’t make me use that against you

Babe: I am going to kill Wanda

Babe:Ugh I need coffee

Babe: I’ll talk to you later

Bonky: I’ll be waiting for you babe

Babe: So

Babe: BABE

Bonky: Yes baby?

Babe:

Bonky: Nah, you love it

Babe: Fine

Babe: You still haven’t sent a pic of you though. I might be able to rise Nat and Wanda from the dead if you do

Bonky: What do I get in return?

Babe: The promise that I will keep replying even though you might turn out to be an ugly orc?

Bonky: Not enough

Babe: Fine. I’ll keep talking to you until you want me to stop. Or until I get bored of you

Bonky: Eh, you can do better

Babe: What do you WANT?

Bonky: A pic of you in return

Babe: I’m not sending you nudes, perv

Bonky: If I wanted to see you naked and be a dick about it, I could’ve asked last night, don’t worry

Bonky: But if you’ll know how I look it’s only fair I should know how you look

Babe: That sounds reasonable

Bonky: I’d say it’s a fair exchange

Babe: Fine, you first then

Bonky: If you don’t send me a pic of you afterwards babe I will stop replying, just so you know

Bonky:

Babe: Did you type super hot guy with the most beautiful eyes in the world in Google or something?

Bonky: I’m touched but no. Sam took that photo at a work event

Babe: Bitch do you really expect me to believe this is you? That looks like a guy who just stepped out of a magazine, I highly doubt I would have the luck to text him instead of my ex when drunk

Bonky:

Bonky: Are you always this annoying?

Babe: …

Bonky: What? Do you want me to take a selfie with the fucking newspaper now? I read the news online babe, I’m not getting off of this couch just so I can buy a stupid newspaper to prove it’s me

Babe: Do you have one in a suit?

Bonky: …why am I putting up with this?

Bonky: Hold on

Bonky:

Bonky: It’s been 5 minutes, are you going to reply?

Bonky: You still have to send me a picture of you though, a deal is a deal you know

Bonky: Fine, I warned you

Babe: Shit sorry

Babe: Hi Bucky, this is Natasha

Bonky: Hi Natasha. Is Y/N alright?

Babe: Uhm how should I put this?

Babe: Y/N is crying right now and she can’t reply herself

Bonky: What? What happened? Is she okay?

Babe: Oh yeah

Babe: She’s just crying because (and I’m quoting here) you’re ��so beautiful, it’s like all my wet dreams and fantasies have come together. I swear this is some cosmic joke, this is not happening”

Babe: I’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying now

Babe: But she keeps yelling at me that I have to send you the most perfect picture of herself that has ever existed or you will stop talking to her

Babe: I think she started crying again because “I will never live up to that level of perfection, he told me that I have to know which fights to pick”

Babe: Uh yeah so here

Babe: 1 Photo Attached

Bonky: Hey Nat, could you tell Y/N that I would like to talk to her now?

Babe: Sure

Babe: Hey

Bonky: Baby?

Babe: Yeah?

Bonky: You picked the wrong fight if you think “you will never live up to this level of perfection”

Babe: Oh God

Bonky: Stop being an idiot

Bonky: And listen to me

Bonky: I would really like to keep talking to you. Mainly because you’re an idiot who makes me laugh, but it’s also the fact that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life

Babe:

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #social media au #bucky barnes social media au #bucky barnes au #social media #bucky barnes texts

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years ago

Text

Daily Blog #3: August 10, 2021

Getting up today was weird: I woke up at 6:00 and couldn't fall asleep again until around 7:00, but then proceeded to sleep until 9:00. This gave me over 8 hours of sleep for the night, which should have been more than enough, but I was mysteriously tired all day.

I just went about my business, neglecting to eat breakfast, until my mother decided that she wanted to go out for lunch. She chose to go to China House, so I said to call and see if they had anything vegetarian, or else I'd just stay there and eat something else because, quite frankly, I didn't care enough to bother. She refused to call and made me go along anyway.

I didn't bring my keys or license outside, because she didn't bring it up, so she proceeded to oh so reluctantly drive my car and complain about it for the 2 minutes we were driving.

When we got there, she yelled at me again for not having my wallet, despite her not mentioning it at all, because that meant that she had to carry her own purse instead of putting her cards in someone else's pocket.

So the restaurant was closed, and I told her she would have figured that out if she called about the meal options like I asked, but she turned that on me and said that I should have called, even though I didn't want to go.

We ended up going to some other place, which was fine. Didn't really have any arguments there; I just ate.

We got home and I immediately grabbed my wallet and my bag and headed to Community Aid.

I hadn't mentioned up until this point that I was wearing some green skinny jeans and a blue top, which I'm honestly digging rn.

Btw, I use my shaping underwear several days in a row by wearing another pair of underwear inside of them so they don't get dirty. They're like $12 a pair, I'm not buying 5 of them xD. They're honestly great tho and I'm so happy that I bought some.

IN COMES MY MOTHER, AS IM WRITING THIS, TO TELL ME THAT I NEED COUNSELING.

I AM SO FUCKING fed up with her narcissistic, controlling, and manipulative ass. "Maybe the counselor can help you see that I'm not an asshole." YOU LITERALLY YELLED AT ME TODAY FOR NOT HAVING MY WALLET WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING BRING IT UP!!! YOU SCREAM AT ME IF I MOVE YOUR PURSE TO USE THE TOASTER, AND SCREAM AT ME DOUBLE IF IT'S AT 10:30!!! YOU CALL ME A FUCKING WEENIE AND A PANSY FOR NOT WANTING TO KILL ANIMALS AND EAT THEM!!! YOU LITERALLY PUSHED ME BACK INTO MY TRANS CLOSET FOR A MISERABLE 2 YEARS BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T READY TO ACCEPT THAT.

And yeah. I need counseling so I can have a better relationship with you. That's the ONLY fucking reason she's given me; not so I can learn to love myself after spending 2 years forcing myself to believe I was a man and having issues with my weight that you put upon me. NOT so I can try and get rid of this disgusting internalized racism you've taught me or wean me off of my extreme dependence on my partner, shopping, and electronics from a lack of love and connection for 17 years, but so I'll like you.

FUCK OFF.

Anyway, I went shopping at Community Aid today for about 3 or 4 hours, and ended up trying on a ton of pairs of pants and a ton of tops, but only leaving with a bra, 4 pairs of pants, and 6 blouses that cost me $12 in total. Even though looking through every shirt they had felt tedious and tiring, it still beat staying at home, especially since I can keep replacing my male wardrobe now.

I got home and sat down to watch YouTube, but passed out for about an hour; like I said, I was really tired today for some reason.

When I woke up, I ate dinner and then grabbed the PlayStation, which I was yelled at for again despite my mother using the TV, and played some Apex and talked to people while my new clothes (and the ones I had worn throughout the week thus far) were going through the washer.

I put them in the dryer after a bit, put the game down, and started a movie, only to realize the right surround stopped working. This prompted me to replace the 8 different audio cables I was using to supply the 2 surround speakers with some longer, more durable ones I had just gotten from the school. They almost reached both speakers without having to combine cables, but the left speaker was a little too far away, so I just joined it with another cable and called it a day. Both speakers are working now, and that whole process took about an hour.

By this point, my clothes were done drying, and I grabbed them, folded them, and put them away; I know I'll be wearing one of those blouses to work tomorrow.

I sat down in bed, told my partner I was gonna write this, started writing it, got interrupted by my mom, as you have just read, and that brings us to where we are now, with me finishing this story up. All-in-all, not the worst day I've had, but it could've been a lot better. Oh well.

It's not all bad; at least I get to be myself when I'm not home.

If you've read all of this, thank you. Means a lot that I can just talk and rant here; really helps me out. I think I've been feeling more mentally healthy since I've started this blog.

Anyway, I'm signing off.

This has been Leonna,

Goodnight, and be good people.

#LGBTQ #Trans #Writer #Trans Writer #Parents Suck #daily blog #Shopping #Dependent

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