#i feel like im doing some kind of social experiment or something. anyway worm good. i cant wait for u guys to get to the wolfspider kiss

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

god. fucking insane 2 me that ros and I r like patient zero of worm. that feels so fucking wild. everyone go think about nhw okay?

[whoneedssexed]

Im not meaning to come across as a TERF or imply something about all trans people. People have different experiences based on sex, and as a trans man I am still terrified of things that cis woman also worry about. Trans men don't experience misogyny because we're men but trans women do is what confuses me

But... that statement does make sense? "men don't experience misogyny, but women do, and that confuses me". Regardless of whatever else we talk about, I think you worded that very poorly.

Anyway...

The concept of sex based oppression is the basis of terf rhetoric, it's one of the foundations. The idea that we have "male socialization" or "female socialization" is also TERF rhetoric. And the belief that trans women have male entitlement is also TERF rhetoric.

Trans women experience misogyny because they are women. They have an intersection with transphobia, which is transmisogyny. We see the same thing with black women and the intersection of racism, aka misogynoir.

Trans men do have their own unique experiences that deserve to be discussed. I disagree that they are a target of misogyny, but misogyny has wormed its way into about the entirety of society. It's because of misogyny that men are attacked for being "too feminine". It's because of misogyny that transitioning resources are being taken from trans boys. Etc.

This is called, I think, misdirected misogyny?

But it's why I still tag things to do specifically with men as sexism as well. Because in the end, patriarchal garbage is based on the hatred of women, and affects trans people.

But as a dfab trans enby, I don't like this concept that simply because I am dfab I am always and forever a target of women's oppression. I have my own issues with being seen as female as it is, and have always, I don't like being slated into "actually female deep down" categories. And I know a lot of people agree with me on that.

tl;dr: You're a man. Misogyny is oppression and hatred of women. So you can't be a target of it. But you're a target of transphobia.

However, you are still affected by it because you are a human being living in a patriarchy. Just like a gay man, a black man, a disabled man, etc, you are not oppressed on your basis of being male, but on your marginalized group (in this case, because you are trans). You are still privileged over trans women, which is generally how we address "misandry" claims.

But, as a trans man, you have unique experiences from cis men, of course. Things that cis men will never have to consider or worry about, hell even some things that trans women won't worry about. That's pretty much true of any man in a marginalized group. But there are still things trans women experience that you won't, because you're not a transfem in any degree.

I mean, I see it kind of like when people pretend "yaoi" comics are just as bad as the exploitation lesbians experience in any sort of pornography. So-called "fujoshis", even those with the worst takes on queer men, are never going to be the same as predatory cishet men and how they treat queer women.

You deserve to talk about your unique experience as being a trans man/transmasc/dfab nonbinary/etc. Like, idk, I know there's good reasons women have for being suspicious of people creating men-only spaces even for marginalized people. After all, even queer men, including trans men, have used such places to just be vilely misogynistic and let those feelings fester. At the same time, I don't like the concept that someone who is marginalized doesn't deserve any space to speak specifically to their group's experiences.

Anyway. I think it's important to know that oppression isn't an exact hierarchy or step ladder. And trying to measure privilege and tick off lists of oppression angles doesn't really help anyone, but instead drives us to fight amongst ourselves and try to one-up each other or make ruinous assumptions about identities that shut down discussion and outcast people out of their own communities.

That is, we focus too much on verbiage and words and labels, and not enough on what we can do to change what's going on.

Trans women being killed needs changed. Trans men being either treated like confused little girls or having their loved ones do a 180 on their treatment because "now they are men" also needs to change. Doesn't matter how full a privilege glass they have.

- mod BP

[not-to-be-gay-but-holy-shit]

Im kinda neutral about the tma metaplot but i really *want* to like it, id love to hear your thoughts on it!

Oh hi! I honestly didn’t expect anyone to want to hear my thoughts!! (Keep in mind I am dumb and am generally bad at literary analysis but it’s something I’m trying to get better at so like,, pls be kind) It’s under the cut because its a thousand words long. Sorry. 😬

First of all, I want to talk about my personal reason for enjoying the meta turn. The Magnus Archives, even from the first season, was written in the podcast equivalent of a found footage movie. Everything that we hear as the audience could, conceivably, be found and listened to as if we are in the same universe, and I’m a big fan of that trope. It’s the same reason I enjoyed Percy Jackson so much as a kid. Percy starting the story off with a fourth wall break, addressing the reader, like I found his journal on my own, made me feel like a part of the story. So that’s my indulgent reason for enjoying this twist. It felt like a nice progression from “everything you hear is recorded on a tape recorder as a plot device” to “this is a thing that happened and you get to listen to it”. Very satisfying, in my opinion. It’s also the reason I can’t finish the pilot of my own fiction podcast because I want it to be found footage so BADLY but I can’t DO IT non-derivatively fuck

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about what it adds to the story metaphorically! Because oh boy does it have some implications if Jonny does it right!

We all know that The Magnus Archives is about capitalism and helplessness, right? Being trapped in your workplace and any attempt to escape or quit is followed with threats of violence (i.e. being evicted, starving to death) and upper management is manipulating you and using your labor to commit terrible crimes but you can’t do anything to stop it? Thanks to this blog post from 2019 talking about both capitalism and hopelessness in the narrative that initially got me thinking about that interpretation.

Even outside of the implications of being stuck at the Institute, characters find themselves helpless... a lot. In season one, Martin is trapped in his apartment and is helpless to do anything except wait out Jane Prentis. Again in that season, Sasha, Martin, and Jon are helpless to watch Tim unknowingly walk into a room of homicidal worms, potentially killing him. Season two, they find out after the fact that Sasha has been replaced and are helpless to save her because she’s already gone. Need I mention the amount of times that Jon has been kidnapped, and his autonomy taken away from him? Or how Jon spends the entire fourth season watching Martin fall in with the Lonely, unable to sway him away from Peter Lukas’s side (until the very end). Even Elias, at the end of season 4, tricking Jon into starting the Eyepocolypse follows this theme. Once he gets to “apologies for the deception”, Jon knows he needs to stop reading or something bad is going to happen but he’s helpless to stop it. Season five, on the other hand, is them trying to get back some of that autonomy. Even though they’re helpless to save everyone, they do what they can, killing a few avatars along the way, but it's not enough, and there’s still tragedies along the way. And these are all just things I could remember off the top of my head! There’s definitely more instances if you go looking for them.

This is my theory: With the implications of the meta twist, we, as the audience, are going to be forced to experience what it feels like to be truly helpless in the face of tragedy, just like the characters have felt through this entire experience.

Of course, we could, at any point, stop listening. The newest episode could come out and none of us could listen to it, but that’s not going to happen. Most of us, I’m sure, will listen to the next episodes, knowing we are going to leave the experience emotionally affected in some way. The Magnus Archives is a tragedy, and we all signed up to listen to that tragedy, knowing that nothing we could do will change the fact that our beloved characters are going to be hurt and traumatized and (possibly) dead by the end. All we can do is listen.

Meanwhile, the implications of Jonny hinting at a fourth wall break, including us as characters, means that, potentially, we could do something. If we exist in the podcast, we, who have the knowledge that something is about to go very, very wrong, could feasibly change something, fix something, save our favorite characters.

But we just can’t (firstly, because it’s not actually real, but secondly because that’s the point.)

We could take this another step further, too. Jonny could propose that instead of helping, instead of trying to change things, we the audience, were enablers to all the tragic happenings to the characters throughout the series, and we’re just using these traumatized people as our sick entertainment. That’s commentary in itself about the entertainment industry under capitalism, and it fits into that original theme of exploitation. Now, personally, I don’t think that’s the moral that Jonny is intending. It’s an awfully grim outlook, and, I think, a little harsh on your fans if the moral is you could have stopped this bad thing if you tried, especially considering most TMA fans are people oppressed in some way or another by the systems we live in. But it’s still a theory (and I want proof that I said it, just in case the narrative does go this way).

Anyways. I don’t remember where I was going with this. TMA meta good. Send tweet.

I’m a very inexperienced writer, so I don’t trust myself to formulate a good defense of whether or not Johnny is writing the meta correctly, but, on a gut instinctual level, I’m enjoying the twist so far, so we’ll see!

There’s also the potential for it being used as commentary on government surveillance, or social media, but when it comes to TMA themes, I’m a big fan of it’s approach to helplessness, so I’m biased to think that every new plot device is about that. Thanks for asking, this was actually a lot of fun to write!!

Tl;dr: imo TMA is about helplessness under capitalism and including the audience as a character will make it even more heartbreaking when the tragic thing happens and we can’t stop it.

[combat-wombatus]

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

[gg-astrology]

Sagittarius sun with a Gemini moon? What are your thoughts on how they would be?

Hey there! 💕Here ya go I did my best 💕 I hope you didn’t wait too long ksdjnsk im so sorry ;; 💕💕 im working from bottoms up and only just got to urs 💕

[Below Cut: Sagittarius Sun - Gemini Moon  🧞‍♂️ ]

Clever and lucky...what a good combination to have

I nearly had half the mind to put a clover leaf for this combination because they somehow always seem to get by -- being playful and autonomous, detached and friendly without compromising themselves/binding themselves down completely to anything (belonging to everything).

But i feel like the genie is better-- it talks about the wandering spirit Sagittarius/Gemini has. They touch and go, learn and grow, but without anyone around them who’s consistent/stead-fast throughout their entire life.

These people have the ability to come across as someone who’s incredibly anxious skdjngskn but that in itself is a survival skill, they skrrrt so fast when someone tries to make them stay/figure them out deeper than what they’re willing to show, there’s a fear of vulnerabilities/intimacy that comes with the territory. Because they feel like if they ‘open’ that up--- it’s a whole can of worms that could potentially turn into upsetting their moods, and they are always defined by what mood they’re in.  

They also don’t like it when they themselves are held accountable for their own words/action. Because sometimes they 1) ‘cant remember what they said/thats too specific/detailed/technical’ 

Or 2) did something that they said they weren’t going to do bc they already ‘grew past what they said/that phrase in their life’ even tho it was like-- 15 minutes ago.

Can’t hold them accountable for themselves?? Lack a lil self-discipline which y know, might be endearing to a certain age/expected of the environment -- but in the long-run, the thought of ‘oh god am i going to get anywhere/manifest anything in 10 years’ freaks them out sometimes (causes anxiety to spike) so -- they don’t like to think too hard about these things (selective, with what they’re thinking about/spend their time thinking about. Watch for this)

Which--also directly contributes to why they have a problem with self-discipline. They’d rather wait for these ‘periods’ of anxiety to rise again and again and then subdue them again and again. 

Than --- y know, actually putting it into action/doing something about it realistically (through effort) and help their own future instead.

They’re easily discouraged by set backs too, especially the financial/circumstantial kinds. Any kinds of upsets/mishaps or challenges that comes from those areas makes them spiral directly into despair. That’s why they lack self-discipline somewhat--bc they themselves can’t ‘hold up’ their moods against slight disappointment/challenges made against them.

(A way to help is to learn perseverance, consistency. Look towards Taurus/Earth signs for help. Since they can be dedicated/stead-fast, but lets you have your own autonomy if ONLY you learn how to actually open up and ask them for help without feeling ‘shitty/guilty’ about doing it)  

Another thing they do is just kinda, try to relieve the pressure/tension so they ‘lighten’ it up. One of these coping mechanism can be making it into a joke/divert it away from the severity of the situation 

(It’s not that severe you’ll get along fine with how you are, it’s just-- you’re always going to be stuck in your own ways and always anxious if you don’t gain any stable grounds for yourself too yknow?)

They can sometimes just think of ‘taking action/actually committing to something’ as being personal attacks, and anyone who tries to suggest/teach them to do this is lashed out against bc it ‘restricts their luck/optimism’ (again, their self-preservation and first priority is always their freedom/autonomy and that comes in the territory of ‘mood’ as well. Unable to take any other ‘mood’ other than light and airy, sometimes thinking of things as ‘learning how to cope/accept different moods for yourself and be ok with working on it’ can help) 

Sagittarius/Gemini person have plenty of extroverted/playful persona, someone knows Whats up with people bc they aren’t afraid to dive into it/ask about it. 

That’s like-- the ‘smooth’ persona they use to get by y know? it’s their extroverted persona instead of-- actually doing something for themselves that binds/balance both sides together and actually help lesson their anxiety at it’s core fear. Which is what they kinda have to realize (that it’s all interconnected) 

In a way they can just--- fear not being optimistic and actually having to be ‘down’ about something because the ‘reality’ of their fear is just that. 

Part of them might just be afraid of how others sees them, if they aren’t going to be ‘good’ to themselves/others anymore bc they’re less optimistic than before.

Bounded by the same rules as others (societal expectations/longevity of life). They’d rather ‘represent’ something else-- hope, optimism, but y know. Same problem anyways. The anxiety and ‘diversion’ from the norm will only make them feel like they can’t ever....actually face their problems/starting at ground 0 again (feels like it’s too late to start, which is-- a part of their fear again) 

I think--- hmm, the thing that might help Sagittarius/Gemini is to just take it simply. They’re the type of person who likes to taste, to explore a large variety of experience, themes, hobbies, life. But they’re unaware that they’re pretty constrained in their-- well, emotional health? Their moods?

They take what they want, preach but doesn’t learn as much as they think they do. They’re selective in what they want to learn about, what they’re ‘ready’ for. And sometimes-- the hardest lesson in life is learning the things that are ‘truthful’ and ‘helpful’ which might not be-- all fun and nice all the times.

By learning the values in hard lessons, in accepting the sober and uncomfortable ‘moods’-- they’ll be much better adapted at handling/dealing with their anxious energy as well. 

Ok that’s-- that’s very heavy, let’s move onto some other stuff!

These people are Chatty, but like...has so much going on they need some time away too skdnfksn

Sagittarius/Gemini sometimes feel like their mouth/brain moves faster than what they can control (causes restlessness/frustration)...so if they leave themselves to like, socialize for more than 24 hrs at a time they’re going to come back going ‘oh god why did i say that/what have i done’

Frustration at themselves for oversharing/hit-the-wall feeling of having nothing left to share??? Mutable energy has so much energy that it often makes their strongest ‘frustration’ letting themselves ‘go’ too much 

(Because if they have ‘nothing left to share’ then that only means they’ll have to be repetitive and god they hate that. It’s not new/fresh and it’s not-- it’s not contributing to anything)

Thus why they seek to sometimes hide themselves away, be away from people in order to y know-- gather resources/energy to NOT be too much/expend their energy too much on the outside (and also lowkey to not Make a Fool also)

This is from an outsider’s perspective but also like....I’m always conscious thinking about Gemini as the Twin and it’s not just one side to them y know

I think we tend to think Gemini as being extroverted all the time when it’s not usually like that. They’re the twin...it’s a cycle... there’s two sides to the coin that needs to be processed

Their energy works in a cycle, continuous and moving, the twin isn’t just speaking out-loud/alone, it’s speaking/looping between two people. 

If they don’t spend enough time thinking/gaining resource/fuel they over-share because they over-exert themselves....when they spend too much time internalizing/adding things onto their resources they get frustrated, restless, antsy and wants to ‘explode’ this onto social realm

So it’s like....they gotta be in a ‘Moment’ where they can both gain resources/information and process/drop the information in a continuous cycle -- quicker, constant, faster y know (Mercurial sign) 

Instead of ‘stopping’ the motion and ‘pacing’ themselves-- the Sagittarius/Gemini is all about working at a faster pace than the one the world moves at....the one that if ‘man-made’ or controlled, would be detrimental to them

It’s a mixture of Sagittarius fire impulses, ‘doing’ things making them feel productive (and so not depriving them of those gratification by dropping them slower than normal) and then Gemini being naturally fast moving already-- being able to gather large (jupiter) information and then process them/cycling them through (release- mercury) is how they gain gratification/work perfectly in balance with themselves

Thing is-- they work --- super fast, faster than most people operate so it can be hard for others to keep up and keep them stimulated all the time

That’s ok, since Sagittarius/Gemini wouldn’t mind talking to just -- like, anyone. When they need to anyways. With great communicative ability, eloquence and friendliness/open-ness to them, they make others feel welcomed to talk. Even when they’re normally quiet/with-drawn mostly bc the Sagittarius/Gemini keeps the conversation going for them.

The thing is, Sagittarius/Gemini may rarely keep anyone around. Or rather, they sometimes ‘forget’ about people sometimes bc they move along so quickly and boldly-- and they judge others based on the interactions they’ve had, whether they’ve ‘stuck’ around in their mind or not. So it’s--- it can be kind of hard to think these people would belong anywhere, find anyone they truly stay ‘stuck’ with unless the person would be able to listen to them/keep up with them mentally a lot of the time.

Also these people aren’t afraid to be eccentric, they have good judgement. It might be a lil quirky or different, but Jupiter/Mercury never find joy in the TOTALLY conventional anyways.

And if they like something, they just-- keep doing it, keep pursuing it because it gives them stimuli (hobbies/interest) although they can have a large array of interests--as long as they’re ‘doing’ something physically with it they can keep themselves engaged/make it into a quantifiable project (see the results: the multitude of their craft/project at the end and look back on themselves like ‘wow i did this all in this year’) 

That’s the thing isn’t it? They like seeing quantifiable ‘proof’ that they did something productive (fire moon-physical proof) -- they like to see that, although they are careless and forgetful sometimes. They did amount to something in the end.

It all comes down to-- y know, learning lessons. self-discipline. because you can’t keep closing your eyes, blinding painting random swatches and hoping it’ll turn out into something manifestable/painting that’s ‘oh thats better than expected!’ all the time y know. (you can’t keep seeing disasterous results as ‘aw thats ok :(( maybe next time’ when you’re just?? depending on luck?? to get by???)

Anyways, I hope I didn’t go in too hard ;;  💕💕💕Hope you gain some insights from this! 💕💕

[probablymango]

Dungeons and Arcana

Chapter 1: New Game

Lucio rubbed his face, trying hard not to glare at the others at the table with him. “Explain to me again, what is it you want to do?”

Asra smiles, setting down his glass. “We want to bring two more people into the game with us.”

“I got that. Who are they, do I know them, what are their experience, and do I need to start a new campaign?” He hated getting new players. Not that he wants to keep others from playing, but it meant having to learn them, figure out how they play characters, see what they could and couldn’t deal with, merging them into pre-existing campaigns was a bitch.

Julian raises his hand a bit. “My sister, she’s got a bit of experience from playing with me.”

Lucio nods, then looks at the other two.

“Our roommate, Muriel. You’ve probably met him before, or well, at least seen him.” Mordenkainen answered, making vaguely descriptive hand gestures. “Tall guy, beefy, wears a hoodie all the time, and has the big service dog. Ring any bells?”

It did, mostly because the guy was like a huge brick wall, but he wasn’t very social, so Lucio didn’t know him very well. “Does he have any experience?”

Asra and Mordenkainen look between each other with small looks of worry. “... We’ve tried…” “But neither of us are good dms so….” “Not really….”

“Jesus christ.” He groans, rubbing his face and pushing his glasses further up his face. “...... I’m going to have to meet them both, then we’ll see about a new campaign. Nadia!” He looked over his shoulder towards the kitchen.

“What?” Nadia yells back.

“You’re going to need to make a new character!”

“Okay! What kind of campaign?”

“Not sure yet! Probably just a self inserts and fantasy!”

“Hella!”

Lucio rolls his eyes then turns back to the three in front of him. “Same time or do we need to reschedule for the others?”

“Muriel is good with us.” Asra smiles brightly, lightly jumping in his seat.

Julian thinks for a bit, then pulls his cell out of his scrubs pocket. “... I’ll have to check in with her for that, but let’s stick with the same time for now.”

Lucio nods, ideas of what to make the campaign starting to form. “Good, good, please get them in contact with me before then please. I need to meet them first, even if it’s over webcam.”

Nadia came out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of grapes and milk shake. “So we’ve got more people coming?”

“Maybe.”

“Yes.” Rang in everyone else.

She nods, thoughtfully sipping at her shake. “We’ll have to order more food then. Do any of them have allergies?”

“Portia does, but I doubt that’ll stop her from eating what’s presented.”

“Still, best to make preparations anyways. What’s she allergic to?”

“Dairy, but she doesn’t acknowledge that fact.”

“Oh.” She makes a face. “Is…. is there a non-dairy pizza? Hmm, I’ll keep an eye out for non-dairy snacks that taste good.”

Julian sighs with relief. “Thank you. I can try to get her to send a list of snacks she likes, if that���d help?”

Nadia and Julian start to discuss food, while Lucio turns to the other two. “So, I know of Muriel, but what’s he like? Asides from being a big boy.”

“Shy, not outgoing, and suffers from anxiety.” Asra says, ruffling his brown hair. “We figured that doing it with friends would be the best chance at having him play and plus you’re pretty good, so we figured you’d be best at being one of his first dms.”

Lucio sighs in defeat. “We’ll talk more about this later.” He glances at the clock, then groans. “After work, it’s time to go.” He and Asra stand up, grabbing their bags and coats. “Bye Noddy!”

“Bye Mayor!” Asra grins, sliding on his obnoxiously colored green, pink, and orange jacket.

“Not mayor yet.” She laughs, waving them farewell. “Don’t forget your arm charger!”

“Thank you!” Lucio quickly grabs it from the counter, then goes out to the car. “What do you plan on playing tonight?”

Asra buckles himself, as he makes his signature cat face. “What do you mean?”

Lucio narrowed his eyes at him as he buckled himself in and pulled out. “Do you plan on being a memey little shit with the music tonight or do you plan on doing normal bar music?”

“Oh, you know.” He grins, giving Lucio the answer he knew. The bar was going to be filled with meme songs, most of them were going to give him a headache.

“You little shit.” He groaned, already feeling the headache forming from just thinking of what he was going to hear for the hours they were working together. “Can you at least put on good meme music?”

“Excuse you, but Smash Mouth is great music.” He laughs, watching the buildings pass by.

“No, no it’s not. And please, for the love of god, don’t play What’s New Pussycat, because I swear, I will jump over the bar and strangle you for it.”

“Kinky.” He snickers, poking at his shoulder.

“It’s not a kink thing you perverted little shit!” He groans, keeping his eyes on the road as he blindly slaps at Asra.

Asra snorts, weakly batting his hand away. “What if I play, It’s Not Unusual?”

“That’s worse!” He groans, putting his hand back on the wheel. “Just… Please, take some of the patrons’ requests.”

“I’ll consider it.”

It was quiet for the next few minutes, but as Lucio finished parking, his speakers came to life with-

“DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?”

“ASRAAAAAA!”

The culprit ran into the bar, laughing with bastardly delight. Lucio groaned, rubbing his face as he turned off the car, and grabbed his bag. He hoped today will be slow, so he could write, but since Asra took over the music selection, more people started coming in. It was good for business, but not good for his creativity. He went inside, clocked himself in, and went to his usual part of the bar, the one with the plug-in built into the counter. He plugged in his phone and arm, hoping people chose the other bartenders, but knowing he’s never that lucky.

His fear was confirmed about 10 minutes into his shift. Asra had some weird remix playing as a sickly looking older man came to the bar in front of him. Worm man, or Vlastomil, as his name tag reads, comes in regularly. The only reason Lucio even remembers this fucker is solely because he stands out; super pale, an almost leprechaun face, dark clothes, and is usually saying something about worms. He assumes the man works at the bait shop, but honestly didn't care enough to find out. “What will it be, sir?”

“Drunken worm cocktail.”

He gets out the ingredients, passion fruit vodka, peach schnapps, cointreu, coconut rum, sweet and sour, cranberry juice, and gummy worms. It looked tasty, white bottom, with red top, ice, and gummy worms resting on the top. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” He sets down $15 and walks away to a darker part of the room. A weird, but alright person.

He stares at him for a bit, then picks up his phone and starts typing.  Vlastomil…. Sounds like a perfect fantasy name….  He quickly made some notes, then put away his phone as another person came over. “Hi, how can I help you?”

The man in front of him was beautiful, like almost a model. Long hair in a braid, brown that somehow beautifully turns to blond, and clothes that looked a bit more expensive than this area normally gets. Dammit, he didn’t need an instant crush on a stranger. “What kinds of wine do you have?”

“... Uh, I’ll have to check the list.” Not many people wanted straight wine, so he forgot the actual names of them. “We have…. Pinot Grigio.. Some Chardonnay… uhhh.. Pinot Noir… Rose and Cabernet Sauvignon?”

He raises an eyebrow and has a small smile. “Not used to serving?”

“Not used to serving straight wine. Which would you like?”

He stares at the bottles for a bit. “Pinot Noir.”

“You got it.” He pours him a glass and hands it to him, then watches as he awkwardly holds the glass, probably expecting a wine glass instead of the regular ass glasses they have.

“Thank you.” He continues to stay at the bar, drinking as he looked around, sipping thoughtfully at his wine. “Hmp, this is just like him too.”

He shouldn’t butt in or even mention that he heard it, but his nosiness is getting the better of him. “Who?”

He sighs, leaning back into the bar. “My ex, he used to bring this home constantly. Should have expected the bad after taste of him with it.”

“That’s rough buddy.” Did he really just say that? He’s been dming too long, now he sounds like an actual NPC!

He snorts softly, turning to smile at him. “I didn’t think bartenders actually said that.”

They don’t, I’m just too used to fantasy. “I like going beyond people’s expectations.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He turns back around, continuing to sip at his wine.

Lucio looked over at Asra, only to see him gesturing to…. Do something? He looked at his phone and, oh, he sent a text.

Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: Who is that and why should I care? Snek meme bastard: cuz hes muriels cuz Me: ….. Me: Can u try that again with proper spelling? Snek meme bastard: valerius is muriels cousin Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: not sure Snek meme bastard: ASK Me: NO Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: ………. Snek meme bastard: ill give you $20 bucks if you do Me: …… if he calls the cops im bringing you to jail with me

He groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose, then looks back up at the handsome man in front of him. “What’s your name?”

He looks up at him. “.... any reason you want to know?”

Shit, shit, what does he say? “Why wouldn’t I like to know the name of an attractive person at my bar?” He grins, dying on the inside. He really needs to stop hanging out with MC, they were giving him bad habits of unnecessary flirting with everyone who sticks around for more than 5 minutes.

He looks at him for a bit, then laughs. “You…” He snorts, setting down his drink. “Where.. How did you learn to talk like that?”

“I have no idea of what you mean.” Well, at least he got the stranger to laugh, hopefully that means good things and not being considered a creep. “I speak like a regular people.”

He laughs more, then tries to take a sip of his wine. “I’ll…” He snickers. “I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me your’s.”

“I’m Lucio of Vesuvia!” He adds a bit of lordly flair to the way he says it, deciding to commit to the weird way of talking for this man. “And you are?”

He giggles, barely able to talk at this point. “I’m- hehehe- I’m Consul Valerius, at your service!” He goes back to laughing.

His phone lights up, warning him that Asra wanted to call. Fuck that, it’s too loud for that to work out. He declines the call to see that Asra had texted him. A lot.

Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: hey Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: LUCIO Snek meme bastard: lucy Snek meme bastard: i said get a name not flirt Snek meme bastard: …… Snek meme bastard: bitch Snek meme bastard: dude Snek meme bastard: respond or i will rick roll the entire club Snek meme bastard: im serious Snek meme bastard: just say if he is or isnt Snek meme bastard: 3 Snek meme bastard: 2 Snek meme bastard: 1 Me: WAIT

But it was too late, the room was filling with the beginning of Never Going to Give You Up, sending almost every person in the bar into a collective flight or fight response. Some were booing Asra, others just loudly complaining, some were laughing, and even fewer actually left. Asra stared directly at Lucio, demanding a response.

Me: YES HIS NAME IS VALERIUS Me: TURN IT OFF Snek meme bastard: :3

The music was changed to.. Something else, the song wasn’t familiar, so that was good. He sighs, rubbing his face. “Sorry about that. Our DJ is a…. He’s a bastard and let’s leave it at that…”

He shrugs, finishing his glass of wine. “It’s alright, odd choices in music, but he seems alright.”

After the song, one of the other DJs took over for a bit, then Asra made, as straight as he could, for them. “Valerius?”

“Who wants to know.” His mood immediately dropped back to being serious.

“Muriel’s roommate, Asra.”

He glances at Lucio, as if to get confirmation.

“This is my bastard coworker, Asra, the memelord.” Lucio sighs, gesturing at him.

Asra grins, then starts talking to Valerius, but Lucio stopped listening so that he could make some more notes. Vesuvia and Valerius… wonderful names..

“Excuse me!” A loud person, yelled at Lucio. He looked up to see Vulgora, one of the few people you actually remembered the name of. They were constantly getting into fights and just overall loud. “Get me a beer!”

“Any specific kind?”

“A beer!”

Lucio nodded, getting the cheapest beer he could find and putting it in a glass, then handing it to them. “Here you go.” Vulgora and the bar had a deal, they could drink as much as they wanted and the bill would be put directly on their bank account. The bill on most days was too many drinks, on worst days, over hundreds of dollars for repairs. He didn’t understand why they were let back in after the first time, but at least they were paying for it.

With their drink in hand, Vulgora started chugging as they went to find someone to arm wrestle, and Lucio went back to his phone. Vulgora… that’s a rather unique name…

There was tapping on the counter, he looked up to see one of his greatest fears: Dr. Valdemar. The doctor might not have done anything specifically harmful to him, but waking up in the middle of surgery was still lucid led to….. Visual nightmares that have haunted him for over 6 years. “..... How can I help you?”

“Have you seen Dearil?”

“Uhh.. no?” Name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place who it was.

They look around, contemplating their next words. “Dark orange hair, reddish brown eyes, and is probably carrying a skull?”

No, no he has not. Well, maybe, there’s a lot of people here. He shrugs. “Can’t help you, sorry.”

They nod, setting down a bill. “Thanks anyways.” They wandered into the crowd, hopefully to never be seen again.

…. They would make a great villain. He typed some more at his phone. He was getting a lot of V names tonight.

“Um, sir?” There was a lady in front of him. “Do you serve food here?”

“The bar with food is over there.” He points to the other side.

“Thank you.” She smiles, walking away and someone said “Volta!” as she approached.

This place has a surprising amount of people with Vs in their first name… He went back to his phone, waiting on Asra to stop talking to the cute guy.

[kosmicdream]

Your Comic Baby

You know that comic or story that you made when you were a teenager (or sometimes even younger) that propelled you to really WANT to create it. FOR REAL. You put all your energy towards it, for years, determined that it was going to be the one you HAD to make. But then something doesnt go right because, comics are hard-- so you start over and over and over and each reboot gets a bit more discouraging because you have SO MUCH planned out for this thing and you’re just stuck in the loop of redoing the first 5 pages every couple of years. But something about that story, you just cant let go of. You still want to make it happen because you’ve invested and dedicated so much into it. I know that feeling. I call those stories.. your Comic Baby.

You might have a lot of babies. I know I do. But there’s always this one certain comic baby that i struggle with more than the others. Its a difficult baby because I first made this baby when I was 13. And over the course of my highschool years, I was very outspoken about how i was going to really make this a real book for everyone to read. I was constantly working on it, even taking sketchbooks and clipboards to draw it or the characters in class. People were waiting to read this story because they could see how passionate about it I was. But comics were a lot harder than I thought they would be in my mind. I mean, i knew they would be difficult but it was like my art wasn’t as good as I knew it could be when i drew comics. I didn’t get it. And I’d learn so much and so fast that once i got one chapter finished and ready to read, i didn’t like it anymore.

This process went on until i graduated highschool. This dream of making a comic. Specifically THIS comic. I had a lot of stories i was planning on doing, but there was this one comic i really REALLY invested just. My maximum comic energy into. It was different from the other comics and stories. Not that the other ones werent good, they just didnt have the same bond with me that I had with this story. This comic baby was gonna be the thing i was going to be known for and be the first comic i would presented into the world. And in the end.. it actually wasn’t.

I mean, it was, in a way. Eggshells is a prequel to that baby comic. Set in the same universe. Part of the same story, more like a mini test version reboot of the One True Baby Comic. I decided to give the comics thing another try and started to work on eggshells in August 2011, then to ink in Febuary 2012 and finally started to post it in 2013.. sometime.

I took a really long break from comics between finishing highschool and starting eggshells. I would try here and there, but not getting this baby comic out when i was still IN highschool somehow made me feel like a failure of an artist. I was very hard on myself. I didn’t really know if i was even capable of BEING a comic artist because my comics weren’t coming out how i wanted and I couldn’t finish anything. Besides that, I didn’t even know if I could even make them as a career. (I still don’t know if I can but I know I’m going to continue to try.)

When I decided to start Eggshells, i decided that it would be another attempt at my favorite baby comic because I knew that if any of my stories had the emotional legs to motivate me to get through to the final page-- it would be that one. That special baby comic. I poured so much work into planning and preparing everything in a very tradition sense. Scripts, thumbnails, drawing layouts and props and character turn arounds.. ect ect.

Then the fire happened and I lost my ‘comic bible’ of sorts. The rough draft sketches of the entire thing. It was very sad.

But even before then, actually inking pages was not very fun. Because the process i made for it was .. not very fun. I was running into the same walls that I always had when rendering comic panels. It just was too slow and I couldn’t get a consistent look that i wanted. I wasn’t sure where to put detail (or balance the detail) so I would over render constantly. I would zoom in too much. I didn’t know how much to shade and word bubbles annoyed me. I wasn’t very satisfied and I would spend way too much time on each page.

I felt pretty exhausted after trying to ink it for one year and not even getting through the first chapter. Doubt and old dread of not being capable of a comic artist weighed on my shoulders. Of course then, when the fire happened, i just decided to put all that aside again. My life kinda was.. thrown in a loop.

Similarly, my life has been thrown in another one of those loops. A different kind but still, the same sort of disoriented “where the fuck should i live” kind of things. Some of these feelings have come back, the anxieties and unsureness but.. mostly just remembering about them rather than feeling the SAME things. I have acquired a sense of accomplishment in my art .. just with a totally different comic that came out of no-where. (the worm one, you know.)

My relationship with my art has changed so much at this point and I’m so.. not.. what i had predicted for myself?? Not in a negative way. its just odd. FFAK is such a different comic than i thought I would make too. I would describe the experience of working on FFAK as like, im in a shitty junkyard car and ive decided to slam on the gas as hard as i can and see how far it’ll go. Then it just didn’t stop. It took me on a fucking journey but at 90 miles per hour. No careful consideration, so much explicit violence and sex, aggressive confrontations and social commentary. Sex hat jokes. I really got to see a side of myself that this story continues to bring out. And as I worked on ffak more and more, I would sometimes look over at the passenger seat at the Comic Baby. Crossing their arms judgmentally at me and giving me a look like “Having fun? What about ME? Wasn’t I the important one to you?? Am I not special anymore???”

So sometimes i’d feel bad. And try to work on that one again.. but it didn’t make me feel good. I felt like i had to ride the FFAK wave because that was what was happening in the present and I was discovering too much about myself to go back to this older thing that i had a frustrating history with. It wasn’t that I didn’t LOVE the other story, it just didn’t feel right to work on then. So i just let myself focus on where my energy was wanting to go: The Worm Fucks. And the worm fuck comic is the one people read first. Its the first comic of my own i really got to.. read and experience more than just the first chapter. Its been amazing but its so weird. I feel like its a different kind of artist that makes it sometimes.

I don’t regret the worm fuck comic being the one I’m known for but its still funny to me how easily it might have never happened. If the fire hadn’t taken away so much of my work, I probably would be still slowly pushing out pages for eggshells. Or maybe I would have given up and moved on to do something else with my art career? I don’t know. All i know is what I ended up doing was this weird worm comic that is still going on for .. thousands of pages! and has no end in sight! I didnt even expect eggshells to last 1,000 pages but now I can tell my page-pacing is different than how i expected. I still haven’t even finished a comic yet. Its weird? Am I able to finish comics? I guess I don’t know yet because I haven’t. i might “know” endings to my stories but its very different when actually getting it done. I understand that life is more complicated than that and things like fires can change the circumstances in 10 minutes.

So I’m feeling a fear about this uncertain future I’m facing, I’m seeing that I have to make a lot of huge life changes for where I am going to live and what I have to do to make money to support myself. I’m scared that my routine ive established with FFAK will have to change. I wonder if I’ll never be able to replicate the same exact “throw it all into the wind” energy of working like I was able to.. at least I know I can’t right now, because I need to be careful and calculated again. My surroundings arent stable enough for me to dive headfirst into my projects.

With that I’ve noticed I’m drawing eggshells a little bit and enjoying it like I haven’t before. Is it what I need right now? It feels weirdly comforting to know that, no matter what the history i have with this comic, I’ll come back to it and continue to pick at it a little. it makes me feel like, no matter where I’m going to be in this world physically-- my comics will come along with me and they dont have to leave. they arent a product of circumstance. I can get right back on the horse. Its just part of my life that doesn’t have to go away or be taken away from me. Its a nice secure feeling that there’s this art thing isnt something I have to start over. I’d rather build on what I’ve got and it might take me a long time but I enjoy the journey. That feels good to me.

Anyway, even if I’m scared about where i’ll go from here I know i’ll have my car of screaming comic babies at all different ages that are demanding my attention. and some are more patient than others, i’ve totally ditched some babies along the way that i might pick back up later or merge with other babies through some horrific experiment. I’ll even make some new ones because life inspires me constantly and I have so many problems to sort out and what better way than to project on some cool anime characters. but i love all my comic babies!!!!!! and they love me. i have unique and interesting histories with all of them.

comic baby is such a creepy word but it really feels like they are your strange brain children that are also you. i don’t ever want children of my own, but i can see that i pour.. small small aspects of that i think that energy might be into my comics. (im not pretending its actually the same thing to be perfectly clear.) They take up all your time + energy and make you constantly lose sleep..and they grow distinct personalities that you dont expect and have to deal with.. people will judge you for them and how you “raise” them (make them), you’re endlessly proud of these babies and protective and shed tears for them and want them to SUCCEED and live on forever. you want other people to love them TOO and see the best parts of them, for all their flaws. You want em all to grow up as you hoped or planned but they wont at all. They’ll be totally different but also better than you could have imagined.

Comics & Art are such a special thing to get to experience. While i hope that i can make my dreams a reality with my art, I know that they’ll always be an integral part of my life + how i experience and see life and i’m so thankful ive decided to really let room for it there. Its amazing to me that i almost thought it wouldn’t. and i wasnt going to be allowed to be happy with my art because it wasn’t good enough and i wasn’t enough. but i am. and it is good.

Thank you for reading. -Kosmic

[survivor-kalymnos]

Ep. 1 - “I am THE Survivor Chick And I Am Here To Win It All!!” - Susan

Franco

hehe

Maxyne

I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!!!! I don't know why I am, it's just another Survivor game but... I have be someone else kind of. So for this game I have to be "Maxyne" and I'm keeping my pronoun flexibility but I'm gonna be pushing the feminine side a bit more. Maxyne is actually my irl sister's middle name so it'll be easy for me to quickly become familiar with that name being used for me. I also know that Tim is gonna be in this game but idk who and I sure as hell don't wanna find out. Tim actually told me to apply cause they said that they were applying to but my dumbass did NOT know this was an alias game so now I'm fumbling around in the dark trying get into costume n shit not knowing what to do or what to expect. The only thing I have to cling onto my knowledge of Survivor ORGs and Jay's style of hosting. Which honestly don't do me well cause I haven't played Survivor in... months and I haven't been tuned into a Jay game in months too so I have no idea the ride I'm in for. One thing I did do is scroll through the rules, cause my experience always tells me that whenever there's a tumblr blog for an ORG, there's always something hidden somewhere there. Lo and behold, I was right so come 9 PM tonight I will be camping on the rules page updating and waiting for a clue, or someway to start my search. Cause every Survivor game i've played, the idol is found in less then 5 minutes and by the way I've formulated a thought about the idol, it's already long gone. So hopefully, I can pull a Merida and change my fate. Also there was a mention of One World rounds happening in this game??? UMMMM WTF??? PLEASE LET THAT BE A ONE TIME THING. Anyways, sorry for the word vomit, I usually have a lot of pre game jitters and thoughts so I figured I'd get a jump on my confessional count and start talking now. Let's hope I can pull through for this game and make it far. Or vote me out first, i'd rather not have responsibilities right now. 

Rain

I’m looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to people not remembering who I am. I’ve been out of this a year now, I’m well and ready to get first boot, but I’m curious to see how a better, matured me will play. Probably badly, let’s be fuckin real. Anyway I’ll check back in toward the middle of this round. We’ll see how all my sockpuppet counterparts compare against my impossible standards.

Maxyne

5 minutes before the game starts and mama we. Are. SCARED.

Elle

This time around I am going to go for a peppy, happy-go-lucky girl. Not all of my tribe mates are online atm which majorly sucks! Plus, not everyone has me added. I am going to wait till people add me before I add them. I'll give it the night into the morning for that to happen. Otherwise, I'll slowly add them one-by-one. I want to do the slide puzzles because I know I am good at them. I'm going for a more hands-off approach when it comes to socializing so I need all the time I can get to set myself up in the tribe. If we can win the challenge then it'll be a great opportunity to really bond with my tribe mates. 

Maxyne, Fae, and Erick seem to be the most active atm with Fae being the most social. I'll observe how far that socializing and activity goes on. It can either work to my benefit or I need to get rid of the ASAP.

Frank

Wanna start by saying that having a round button in this form is the smartest thing I’ve ever seen. Now onto my confessional: this tribe is alright, some people haven’t spoken yet I think and people seem nice and cooperative thus far. I’m so nosy so not knowing who everyone is is going to be a struggle for me. But I’m guessing Maynor is Gregg on the other tribe bc of the Sophie icon, but watch me be wrong. I’ll try to keep confessionals interesting, but then again I lie sometimes so womp. 

Worm

So I am an hour into my first alias game and I’m already stressing the fuck out. I am so used to being able to go on call with people and get to know them. I wanna say one of my greatest strength is getting solid reads on people when I talk to them but that is only when I can go on call with them. This whole thing is gonna be a struggle

Fae

well we are an hour into this game and I have already fucked up my story. Guess I'm moving home now because I didn't think anything through. dear god. Why am I like this? guess moving my grandmother is going to turn into Me moving home lol. welp, lets see how this goes. 

Maxyne

*googles How to stop oversharing*

Michele

Franco is a king we stan. Also I’m still laughing at worms name

Rain

Michele: Chosen one, will betray at f5

Susan: OTTN5 

Worm: oh, worm? 

Gregg: Dylan in disguise, watch me betray him again 

Uhhh I’ll be back with the rest eventually first night is horrid

Idol hunt: OTTNNNNNNN10

Dusty

So far im feeling good on my tribe! I'm getting along really well with Erick! We have a lot in common and match each others energy. I'm also talking well with Fae, who says they think we've played a game together!! So I'm trying to figure out who it might be! I'm a little worried about the people who haven't spoken yet, but hopefully I'll be able to get to know them!

Elle

I think I'm connecting well with Maxyne. Since we are both doing the same assignment, it allows for me to grow closer with them. I think I might make them my ride-or-die, but I want to see how well our connection lasts in the days to come. Van and I are making great conversation in the tribe chat. I hope they will want to work with me. Other than that, I have not chatted with anyone else on the tribe. The people who have contacted me I talk to sporadically. I hope this is enough to get me by as I do not want to be seen as a social threat later down the line. Also, like, why did so many people get a disadvantage? I am so disappointed in all of them, but I know we can pull through!

lenny

off to an interesting start! so far, I am enjoying my tribe. definitely more chill than my last one but only time will tell. people's true motives will come out soon and this time, I am trying to really pay attention to who is a leader and who is a follower.

Franco

Nera tribe has such good positive energies? There hasn't been any friction, everyone is joking with each other, and overall everyone is having a great time!! Very honestly though I'm not sure what to make of everyone in a game and strategic sense. I've tried talking game with the majority of the tribe but most of it was still just like small talk and vague sentences. Im tryna play this fast and hard but I don't think anyone else is ):   I vibe really well with Michele, Eliza, and Rain. Michele and Rain are so fun and probably down to get messy, so they'd be great allies. And eliza just seems like a genuinely good person that I think I would get along with really nicely!! I also REALLY want this reward challenge. Ive gotten three people at least who said that they would vote for me so!! Let's hope I win, at the very least itd be nice to prove to myself that I can have a good social game early on

Franco

On my very FIRST idol hunt of the SEASON I find?? A legacy advantage??? Im so??? Shook and excited. I just have a feeling that this is my game! Night 1 kinda sets the tone of the whole game and I had an AMAZING night 1. I also uhhh am dumb and told Michele that i found it. My goal was to gain her trust so we could work together but? She kinda just didn't respond and changed the topic. Idk if that's a good sign so yikes!!

Elle

Honestly, I should resign myself to the fate that we will not win the next challenge. So, it is imperative that we win this challenge so that we do not go to tribal two times in a row. I hope my score of 85 is enough because I could not get it any higher than that. I am honestly very frustrated with my tribe at the moment, but I guess we shall see how things develop. Maxyne and Erick getting the advantage is interesting only because it shows who has been the most social. I will either need to get in good with the both of them or take them out early. However, the most active and social people usually do not go home first. For now, I will just keep my eye on the two of them and see how they position themselves. 

Elle

Erick giving the tribe the clue was definitely a strategic move. He wants to build trust and be transparent with everyone in order for them to like him. I see right through it. However, it is nice to get an edge on the hunt. 

Fae

I FOUND THE IDOL!!!! Erick decided to share the clue and I FOUND IT!!!! 

Eliza

dear m’fucking diary...

Hey gays, this is a crack fest. I’m doing this confession rn so that I don’t have to do that fever dream of a puzzle. I got a bat to the face when I did the idol hunt, funnnnn. So, let’s recap! I’ve been connecting with a lot of people so far and that’s great, I love my tribe rn and I’m happy that Franco won the reward considering that I voted for them, so now I can at least get on Franco’s good side an maybe get some info👀. Because this is alias I probably will be playing a tad bit differently but I’m still going to be the social playing badass that y’all know and love! The worst part of this so far is that I can’t fucking say y’all, who the hell says y o u g u y s. I’m changing how I speak just a bit so that I don’t immediately get clocked, so basically I can’t use y’all and lmao in every sentence. The people I feel closest to right now are Franco, Michelle, tristin, rain, and worm. In that order, don’t get me wrong, I love everyone in the tribe, those are just the people I’ve been able to connect with the most. I’d love to move forward with that group but if that doesn’t happen well then whatever, I mean I talk to literally everyone so I’ll survive. Pretending to be interested romantically in men (sorry James Zachary) is horrible, but I think people are at least believing that I’m 20. Jay told me that all I have to do to be an adult is be excited about stupid boring shit, so I’m just gonna pretend that I’m happy about buying a new couch. Well I’ll check back in soon to update y’all about people and probably give an analysis about everyone.  That’s it, much loveeeee

Fae

I just want to say how ironic it is that I decided to do the idol hunt in the challenge and in reality actually found an idol 

Gregg

Well. Im already overwhelmed and literally wanted out. (Jay knows why) But im doing counting challenge and i hope another f4 counting challenge doesnt affect my perfermance for this one. I really want to help the tribe win. Honestly im not gunna bother trying to figure out who is who. Im just gunna play and think the people are the people and play normally. Trying to guess ppl is what gunna mess me up. So wont bother with it but some phrase some ppl have said. I feel like i know who they r.

Franco

I WON FIRST REWARD AHHH. I'm such a social legend? Look at me? I'm literally winning this game. I kinda don't care about the clue because I already have a legacy advantage, AND half of a super idol (that I gotta give to somebody else, booooo), so I'm kinda??? Being chaotic and giving the clue to everyone who voted for me. It can give me an opportunity to gain more trust on the tribe

Tristin

https://youtu.be/Wyi5uWAulnE

Maxyne

I know this is late and it's long but i fell asleep last night while this was uploading, so sorry https://youtu.be/mXmbL49orVI

Elle

Now that I have gotten to talk to everyone I can finally assess my tribe. I feel like I can be great allies with Maxyne. They voted for me in the reward which means we have a mutual good vibe from each other. Hopefully I can make them my ride-or-die. Fae and Van are really nice and I can get down with them. I think if I could choose a strong alliance of three I would pick them while having Maxyne as my real ride-or-die. Sasha seems to be the least social with me which means that they could be an easy target. I don't trust Erick or Cran because they just give me bad vibes. I do not think anything of Frank. They are probably with Sasha as one of the least social in the tribe. At least Sasha is being active within the tribe chat. Finally, I think Dusty is a sweetheart and could possibly be another one of my allies. At the very least, I know I was strong in the challenge and have at least been moderately social. This means I will not be the first boot if we were to go to tribal. 

Dusty

So now we've got an alliance in the works between me, Fae, Erick, and Elle. All in the name of working together to find the idol. I feel good about the group! Me and Erick are both each others closest ally. He won the reward challenge and in doing so he was able to will be half of a super idol! We don't know where the other half might be, but I'm really happy to see that Erick trusted me enough to will me a super idol!

van

So uh...I haven’t been super active because the world is burning around us. But I’m trying. So far I really enjoy the people I’m playing with!

Elle

Dusty asking me to work with Fae and Erick on finding the idol which works out well for me. This means I have already positioned myself into a sort of alliance which I hope will carry me in the future. 

Elle

Fae confirmed with me the alliance that Dusty approached me with. However, there was no chat made. Also, Cranjes was added to the alliance by Erick and Fae which tells me that those those two are very social with him. These people are making their connections to obvious. Either way, with those people I have a 5-person majority. Hopefully these people will carry me through the pre-swap phase of the game, but I am getting pretty nervous in my seat. I do not trust Erick and Cranjes. I like Dusty and Fae, but I cannot get a read on the other two. Plus, if no chat has been made, how are we going to solidify the alliance? Hopefully my performance in the challenge will cover me for now, but I am getting pretty nervous at the moment.

Michele

elfranchele just started! it's an alliance chat with michele, franco, and eliza. excited to see where this goes!!

I can't tell if Susan is just super into her alias or if she really is old with her hubs

Cranjes

everyone seems nice. i guess. idk. i fell off a waterfall and fucked up my ankle for a fucking idol. but if anyone asks, it was sasha. 

i have something against the name sasha bc peppermint should’ve won season 9 of drag race, not sasha velour

Fae

Soooo, there is now a chat for people to hell each other look for the idol. The idol I have...

Frank

YESSSSSSS!!! I’m not gonna be first boot. It’s a party even though I didn’t win my section. Eliza didn’t do their part on the other tribe and that’s a yikes (at least with a 2 hour time exactly that’s what I’m assuming). So like they’re probably going. I’m really happy I don’t have to worry about tribal tomorrow because my sister wants to drink and celebrate her birthday since plans went sour because of that quarantine life. But gamewise though, I want to talk to Erick tomorrow since they seem like someone I could work with, although based on reward I think multiple people think that. Gonna remember that. Gotta be social....but I’m me so it’ll be an uphill battle.

Rain

So, we lost immunity. 

I could have seen that coming - but at least we weren’t totally destroyed. I’m already thinking Susan as a name but uhhh we’ll see where it goes. I’m pretty good with Franco, Michele and Eliza. I wouldn’t be shook if there was an alliance chat made at some point. I like Tristan too! And Gregg. And Lenny. ....okay I like everyone but Susan. Susan I’m sorry I respect your character choice but it ain’t it, chief. 

Gregg

I feel like i might be good for this tribal. Only one name has been said which kinda worries me but im trying to stay positive. Susan is the target tonight and as long as it isnt me. Im okay with voting for whoever. Franco did share the clue with me. It was a simple clue so idk if itll be helpful or not. Im looking at a certain spot and doing all the 4 spots in the section. So hopefully i can find something.

erick

hi i have the eco fascist dream flu and i cannot move but cranjes is john and fae is birch confirmed, i fucked up the challenge but not to the extent that we lost so that’s nice. current alliance going with fae, elle, and dusty (dusty’s my fave). they elected to give me the idol clue and i got half of the super idol so i gave that to dusty as was required and then shared the clue with the group at large because i’m a communist

Worm

So we lost the first immunity challenge. It sucks but I'll get over it. The thing that worries me now is trying to get a read on everyone during the vote. Because I don't know who I'm playing with I'm struggling on getting a read on anyone. On the bright side though I think I'm doing pretty well socially. I've talked to Michele and Tristin and they seem to trust me so I'm happy about that. Also it seems like the tribe has come to a unanimous vote to getting rid of Susan. I feel bad about getting her out but she is firmly holding on to her character which I think is making it difficult for her to make connections with other people in the tribe. The only that has me worried about this whole thing is how easy this vote is going. My anxious head just wonders about how people behind the scenes could be plotting to get me out and I just don't know it. This also isn't helped by the reward challenge and Franco receiving 5 votes to get the clue. A couple votes wouldn't have made me suspicious but 5 just seems like a lot. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but all my anxiety is saying is that there is a majority alliance already formed in the first couple hours of the game and now I'm just playing from the bottom. Hopefully that isn't true but only time will tell.

Susan Burke

I Am SO SO Excited To Be Here!! I am THE Survivor Chick And I Am Here To Win It All!! Everyone So Far Has Been So Kind. I Love These Kids!! However, I Know My Age Will Make Me A Target. They Don't Believe This Ol' Hiney Can Keep Up With Them!! So, I Wanted To Make It Clear That I Am LOYAL To This Tribe And Its People!! When I Was Out Looking For The Idol, I Stumbled Upon The Other Tribe's Camp!! How AWKWARD!! I Decided To Tell Franco - He's Popular, And The First One To Really See SUSAN For SUSAN. Hopefully I Can Buy His Trust, Because He Can Keep This Nanna Safe!! It's Really Unfortunate We Lost...But It Was So Close!! We Won't Lose Again!! I Was Instantly Worried It Would Be Me, But Doing The Challenge With Tristin Bonded Us!! Together, We Decided That Gregg Would Be Our Target, And Now We Gotta Get Everyone ONBOARD!! #TeamSDB

Franco

Im very very sad we have to go to tribal. Like i genuinely enjoy everyone on the tribe!! But it's the way the game goes, every time someone leaves it gets me one place closer to winning hehe. I now have an official alliance with Michele and Eliza and??? We are going to SLAY this game. We all have our individual strengths and I think we could be a powerhouse. Unless Susan has an idol, shes going tonight. Its sad because shes so fun but im not surprised. Everyone else on the tribe seems to have some sort of personal stake or investment in the game besides her. 

Elle

Having immunity means that I can safely bond with my tribemates without the game hovering over our heads. I'm really vibing with everyone in the tribe chat. However, I do not want to go into PMs unless they want to talk to me because it is such a Raffy thing to do to talk to people in PMs. I will try to be as social as possible in the tribe chat to still have those bonds, but I do not want to be seen as some sort of social butterfly.

Tristin

So we LOST the challenge and that sucks!! It appears that the majority of people want to vote out SUSAN and I hate it!! She’s super sweet and the older players always get voted out first! Maybe because she hasn’t been as social as everyone else! At least thats the explanation. I pretty much solidified working with Worm, Franco, and Eliza pretty much. Michele as well I think! But separately of course! I can’t wait for an alliance chat! Sorry to this Susan!!

Sasha

It's strange to be playing in a game where I know there's people playing that I already know but I have no idea who they are. I've talked a little bit to each but not a ton. I don't have too many guesses as to who is who, though. That's it.