#i feel like if i'd been a long-time fan i'd still be struggling to pick a fave

[riddlegecko]

i think i finally have a solid answer to my internal "is my favorite fob album save rock and roll or so much (for) stardust?" debate. i think overall, stardust is my favorite, but i most definitely listen to srar more often. like, i feel like i can just throw srar on whenever and vibe hard for a good 45 or so minutes, and i'm 1,000% positive that it's the fob album i've listened to in full the most because of this. with stardust, i feel like i gotta have the specific So Much (for) Stardust Emotions™️ to listen to it in full, and those specific emotions will befall me completely randomly and sometimes i'll go a while without getting them. but when i am in the mood to listen through stardust in full, it blows my tits off harder than srar does. if that makes sense.

[lee-laurent]

Done Trying - Luke Hughes

Summary: In which Luke falls for a girl who always seems to be hanging around the Devils, the issue she has a toddler with one of his teammates

There will be more parts!! Next part is the backstory of John and Tori! Part after that is a continuation of this part! Hope you guys enjoy!

content: unplanned pregnancy, fluff, angst, children (is that a warning??), past relationships, self confidence and body image issues, money struggles, oc x ex!john marino (this is throughout the story, but this is a luke fic!! she ends up with luke!!)

WC: 4.8k

notes: this idea came to me the other night while i was watching tiktoks lol, but i thought it would a fun fic to write. the poll i put out showed a pretty clear leader the whole time, but if you guys are interested in me doing any of the other pairings in the poll just let me know!! before writing this i have a feeling it's gonna be a long fic so enjoy!!

Luke Hughes was walking down the street to the cafe that Jack had recommended. He still didn't know many places in Newark, seeing as it was his rookie season, but his brother had been a huge help... for the most part. Jack had told him about his coffee shop that was usually pretty quiet, so he wouldn't have to worry about fans coming up to him. And it had become his safe haven over the last two weeks.

Victoria Wilson was also walking down the street in the direction of the cafe, but she wasn't alone. Her newly turned two-year-old was toddling besides her, having refused to get in his stroller when they were leaving their apartment. "No" was his favourite word at the moment and Tori thought it might drive her crazy. She was dropping him off at his dad's in a couple hours, so she decided that grabbing him a bagel and some juice for breakfast sounded like a great way to get out of the house.

"Riley! Stop!" she screeched, watching as her son started to run down the sidewalk in the direction of a tall boy, looking at his phone. She didn't reach him in time though, the little boy wrapping his arms around the man's legs.

"What the hell?" Luke muttered, staring down at the toddler gripping his leg.

"I am so sorry! He's really big into hugging right now. We're working on learning who we shouldn't hug," Tori rambled, attempting to pull Riley off the man.

"It's fine. Really. No worries. Come on, little dude. Go back with your sister," Luke smiled, making the girl blush.

"I- I'm his mom, but I'll take that as a compliment," she smiled, finally prying Riley away and picking him up. He squirmed her arms, screaming "no" like it was mantra.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed," Luke rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's all good. Let me buy you a coffee. Again, I'm so sorry. Terrible twos," she sighed, reaching into her purse for a pacifier. "Here bubba. Let's go get breakfast."

Riley finally calmed down, happily putting the pacifier in his mouth. Tori had been trying her best to ween him off his "binky" but his dad wasn't, so it wasn't really working all that well.

"You don't have to do that. He's just a kid."

"Please, I'd really like to," she smiled. Luke nodded, opening the door for the woman and her son.

Tori ordered a coffee for herself and Luke, as well as a bagel and apple juice for Riley. They sat at a small table, Riley on her lap and Luke across from her.

"I'm Tori, by the way. And this little devil is Riley."

"It's nice to meet you," Luke grinned, "I'm Luke."

"So, how long have you lived in Jersey?" she smiled, breaking off a bit of bagel for Riley. He had a habit of trying to shove things in his mouth and gagging every time. So Tori always broke his food up into little pieces.

"A month now. I, um, just moved here for my new job."

"That's exciting," she grinned, handing Riley more food.

"What about you?"

"We moved here two years ago. Riley's dad moves a lot for work and I like to be in the same city as him so they can spend time together."

Luke nodded. So she was single. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't admiring her. She was stunning. Pale skin covered in freckles, ginger hair that she'd curled into waves, and the prettiest blue eyes he'd ever seen. She giggled as Riley dropped bagel all over his shirt, attempting to wipe it away as best as a toddler could.

"You said Riley's two?"

"Yes! He just turned two in August!"

"My mom always said that's the hardest age," Luke tried his best to relate to the girl in front of him.

"Ha! She's right. He really likes saying 'no' right now. It's impossible to get him to do anything except play mini sticks."

Luke choked on his coffee, "As in hockey?"

"Oh, yeah. He, uh, we're big hockey fans in my house."

"Devils?"

"No. No offence if you're a Devils fan. But we're proud Penguins fans. Right, Riley?"

"Pen-guin," he giggled, clapping his cream cheese covered hands together.

"That's cool," he nodded, checking his phone. Jack had texted asking if he'd died on the way to get coffee. "I, um, it was really nice meeting you, but my brother's getting worried about me. I should go."

"No worries! It was lovely meeting you too. Say 'bye-bye', Riley."

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye, Riley. Um, I was wondering if I could get your number. We could do this again some time? It's totally fine if not. I just-"

"Of course, Luke. Here," she chuckled, taking his phone from him. Luke walked out of the coffee shop with a smile.

It was the first Family Skate of the season and Luke was happily yapping away with Jack and Nico, seeing as they were all single. Luke had been texting nonstop with Tori for the last two weeks, she was really busy taking care of Riley so they hadn't met up again yet. He had found out she was 24, from Pittsburgh, and had a degree in journalism. He hadn't told her what he did for a living, just saying athletics which she assumed meant personal training. He was laughing at a joke that his brother had made when a flash of red hair caught his eye.

He did a double take. Standing at the bench was Tori, holding an extremely excited looking Riley on her hip, tiny skates on his feet. They were both dressed in Devils jerseys. Tori pointed at someone on the ice and Riley clapped happily. John Marino skated over, grabbing Tori's hand to guide her onto the ice. Maybe she wasn't single like he assumed.

"What're you looking at, Rusty?" Jack knocked his shoulder.

"Huh? Nothing."

"Come on, let's go see Curtis."

Luke followed his brother, keeping an eye on John and the girl now holding his hand. It hurt a little, he really thought they were connecting. And she hadn't mentioned a boyfriend at all.

Tori had yet to notice Luke, smiling widely watching her son and his father interact. Even if she and John had broken up, they still held a mutual respect for each other, maybe even still loved one another.

"Do you like his jersey?" she asked, showing John the '6 Marino' on the back of their son's shirt.

"Wow! You look just like Daddy, bubba!"

"'Ike Dada!" Riley smiled.

"My mom got it for him for his birthday. He was really excited to show you."

"Well, I think it's awesome. Tell your mom 'thank you.'"

"Of course. I-" she stopped. Her eyes locked with a familiar pair across the ice. Luke? She furrowed her brow, handing the toddler over to his dad. "Here. Practice skating with him. I, uh, need to talk to someone."

"Oh, sure! Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just fine," she mustered a smile as he pressed a kiss to her temple, skating off with Riley.

"Luke?" she approached him, a confused look on her face. Jack and Nico looked at each other before skating off to see John and Riley.

"Hi, Tori. I, uh, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah. Me neither. You play for the Devils?"

"Um... yeah? It's my rookie season. I just- I didn't want you to like only want to talk to me cause I play in the NHL."

"I gave you those vibes?" she sassed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, no. That's not- You don't. I, uh, what're you doing here? I thought you were... single."

"I am. I would've stopped talking to you if I wasn't. Riley's dad also plays for the Devils."

Then it all fell into place for Luke. Moving from Pittsburgh, being Penguins fans, Riley's dad moving around for work, her being here.

"Johnny?"

"Yes. John invited us. I thought it would be fun for Riley."

"I'm sorry. I- I should've told you. Are- is this too weird now?"

"'This?' There isn't really a 'this' yet, Luke. We just met and I have a kid. But if you're asking if I'm going to stop talking to you. Then no. This isn't weird for me."

"Do you- d'you think John will be upset?"

"John? No. He just wants whatever is best for Riley. We broke up over a year ago."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to pry. I-"

"Luke, it's fine. It was nice seeing you, but I should get back to my family."

"Right. See ya, Tori," Luke smiled, ignoring the pain in his chest at her words. John was her family. How was he supposed to beat that?

"You know Luke?" John asked as his ex-girlfriend skated up next to him.

"You remember that guy I met that Riley hugged?"

"The one from the coffee shop? Yeah, you said- oh my god! Was it Luke?"

"Yep," she popped the 'p' at the end of the word, "He didn't tell me he played hockey."

"Are you gonna cut things off?"

"There isn't really a 'thing' to cut off. We just text."

"Right. Well, don't let it stress you out."

"I won't. Don't worry. Anyway, how's Riley doing at skating?"

"Like a newborn deer. But he loves it, so..."

"Are you gonna be just like Dada?" she cooed, kissing her son's chubby cheek.

"'Ike Dada!"

"Yes! Just like Dada!"

Riley joined John in the locker room after, seeing as he was spending the night at his instead of going home with his mom. He sat in John's stall, kicking his feet back and forth. John had changed him into some tennis shoes instead of his skates.

"Hey, Riley!" Nico smiled, raising his hand over a high five.

"Cap!"

"Yes sir! That's gonna be you some day, huh?"

"Cap!"

Nico ruffled the boy's dark curls, walking back over to his stall. Jack also came over to see the little boy, but turned his attention to John after.

"Did ya know that Tori and Luke know each other?" he frowned.

"Huh? No, Tori told me today. Why?"

"Luke had been talking about this girl he met a couple weeks ago, had no idea it was Tori. I would've told him to back off."

"Back off? Tori and I aren't getting back together. That ship has long sailed."

"Really? I thought you still... loved her?"

"Of course I do. She's the mother of my child and for that I'll always love her. But she's made it very clear that we didn't work as more than friends. If she wants to see other people, I'm not going to stop her."

"Even if it's your own teammate?"

"Luke is the only guy on this team I'd let date my ex. Trust me."

"Damn. Maybe I was gonna shoot my shot."

"She'd reject you before you could even say hi," John smirked.

"Hungy! Hungy!" Riley chanted, pulling at John's sleeve.

"Okay, bud. One second, Jack," John reached into his backpack, pulling out a pouch and opening it for Riley. "There you go, bud. Eat slowly."

"O-tay."

"Anyway, Tori wouldn't be interested in you. She only likes guys with curly hair."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. We were together for four years. I know what her type is," he rolled his eyes. "Are we done here? I'd like to take my baby home."

Jack nodded, sulking back over to his stall.

"So... how're things with that Luke boy going?" Tori's best friend, Allison, asked. The two girls were sat on the sofa, an almost empty bottle of red wine in front of them, some horrible reality tv show on in the background.

"About that..."

"Oh no! Did he end up being a dick?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. He, um, he's teammates with John."

"He's what?! You're kidding me!"

"Nope. Saw him at family skate today."

"I thought you said he was an athletic trainer."

"He told me he did athletics. I just assumed he did like training for something. But nope, he's a rookie for the Devils."

"That's insane! Are you cutting him off? I thought you'd sworn off hockey players."

"I-"

"Victoria Jane Wilson! Do NOT tell me you're thinking about getting with this guy!"

"I... I'm not sure. He's really cute, Ally. Like the cutest guy I've seen in a while."

"Cuter than John?"

"Not sure anyone is cuter than John. My son is his carbon copy and he's the cutest ever."

"Speaking of Riley, do you think this Luke kid is ready to deal with a child in addition to you? He's how old? 20?"

"I know... I love Riley, but he's definitely made my dating pool smaller."

"Well, you'll have no way of knowing until you ask him on a date."

"You were just saying no more hockey boys! Make up your mind, Ally!"

"I know... but you haven't been on a date in like what..."

"Seven months."

"Seven months?! Text him right now!"

"Right now?"

"Right now!"

Maybe it was the copious amounts of wine that she'd consumed or the fact that she hadn't been on a date in seven months, but she reached for her phone and typed out a message.

I was wondering if you'd like to go on a proper date some time? Without any children with us

"Done!"

"Yay!!! This calls for more wine!"

The girls clinked their glasses together, giggling as they drank more.

Hey, Tori. I'd love that! Is Riley with John tomorrow? I'm free after 5.

"Oh my God! He said yes!!!"

"I knew he would, girl! You're stunning."

"I-"

"Don't give me that shit about your 'Mummy Tummy.' You carried a baby for 9 months of course you aren't going to look exactly the same as you did before. But trust me, you look fucking stunning. Now text him back!"

Ally was over for the second night in a row, except this time it wasn't girls' night. She was helping Tori get ready for her first date in almost a year.

"You have to wear something lowcut! Show off the goods," Ally smiled, pretending to squeeze some boobs in the air.

"They're not that impressive," Tori rolled her eyes, flicking through her shirts.

"Girl! Be confident! If I had tits like yours, I'd walk around in nothing but a bra!"

"Ally! Don't be crass!"

"What? Just telling the truth! We both know that Riley exists cause John loved your curves a little too much."

"Allison!" Tori gasped, although it was a tad bit dirty, she couldn't help but giggle. She pulled a white, flowy tank top out of her closet, holding it up to her body. "Thoughts?"

"That's the one! You'll look irresistible. Now! Let me do your makeup!" Ally clapped.

Tori did a once over in the mirror, smiling brightly. She wasn't usually very confident in her body, and that only got worse after having Riley. A ring filled the apartment as someone pressed her buzzer in the lobby. She pressed on the intercom button, "Come up!"

"I'll be here the whole time. Call if you need rescuing and I want all the details when you get back!" Ally smiled, plopping down on Tori's bed.

Luke rasied his fist, knocking on the wooden door. Tori wiped her hands on her jeans one last time, opening the door to reveal the boy. He was wearing a polo shirt that showed off his arms in the best way and a pair of khaki pants. It looked like he had attempted to tame his curls, but they just looked like they always did but wet.

"Wow, you... you look so pretty, Tori," he stuttered.

"Thank you. You also look really cute," she blushed. "Let me just grab my purse and then we can go. Come in."

Luke entered the apartment, taking in the decor. There was a small table in the corner covered in art supplies and a basket of toys next to it. On the sofa was a stuffed Winnie the Pooh and lots of plastic farm animals. Hanging on the wall was a colourful scribble with Riley's name printed at the bottom. It was clear to him that Riley was the most important thing in her life.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy. I usually clean when he's at John's, but I was... kinda nervous about tonight and forgot."

"You've got no reason to be nervous. I promise," Luke smiled.

God, his smile was cute. It was crooked, almost like a smirk and she wanted to see it every second of every day for the rest of her life.

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

The walk to the restaurant was full of jokes and laughs. Conversation between the two flowed so easily.

"You're joking! There's no way!"

"I'm not! He ripped Quinn's braces out!"

"That's insane!"

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No, no, I don't. Only child."

"How's that?"

"It was a bit lonely when I was a kid. But now I've got Riley so it's impossible to feel lonely."

They sat at a table, deciding to share a very large plate of seafood pasta.

"This is kind of a personal question, so you don't have to answer. But did you always want to be a mom?"

"That's not too personal, in my opinion. But yeah. When I found out I was pregnant though, I was really unsure. I was 22 and wanted to do so much more in my life first. But I can do most of those things even with Riley. And if I can't, John is there to watch him for me."

"That's a good way of looking at things. I, uh, I've never dated anyone with a kid."

Tori giggled, "I'm not surprised, Luke. But I'm not asking you to stay around if you don't want to."

They quickly moved on from talking about Riley, talking about their childhoods, favourite movies, and favourite foods.

"Secretariat? The horse movie?" she laughed.

"Don't laugh! It's a good movie!"

"I've never seen it."

"Well, I know what our next date is going to be," Luke's eyes widened as his brain caught up with his mouth, "If- If you want to go on another date. I, uh, I get if you don't want to. No pressure."

"Luke, I'd love to watch Secretariat with you," she smiled, reaching across the table to hold his hand. She ran her thumb over his knuckles, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I, uh, I'm free tomorrow. If that's not too soon."

"That should work. I just have to pick up Riley at 5, so it'll have to be in the afternoon."

"I'll make sure I'm up then."

"It's okay. I also sleep in on days Riley is with John."

Luke walked Tori up to her apartment, not wanting their night to end. They stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking at each other.

"I had a really good night," she smiled, looking down at her shoes.

"M- Me too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mhm."

"Can... Can I kiss you?"

"I don't normally kiss on the first date," she smirked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"I'll make an exception for you."

Tori pushed herself up on her tip-toes, leaning in until their noses brushed. She let Luke take the final step, softly pressing their lips together. His were a bit chapped, but she didn't mind. Maybe her lip balm would rub off and help him out. They smiled, breaking the kiss.

"See you tomorrow," she waved goodbye, closing the door as he walked down the hall to the elevator.

"How was it?!" Ally screeched. Tori jumped, holding her hand to her chest.

"Holy shit! I forgot you were here!"

"Okay? How was it?!"

"So good! He's coming over tomorrow. Oh Lord, I have to clean!"

"He's coming over?! You're getting laid?!"

"No, God. Ally, it's our second date. I'm not sleeping with him."

"Why not?! When was the last time you had sex?"

"Um..."

"When did you and John sleep together?"

"Two months ago."

"I still can't believe you did that."

"He looked really hot playing with Riley. And we both hadn't slept with anyone in months. It was just... a mutual release."

Ally shook her head, "Whatever. Two months. You need some dick. And not your ex's."

"Why not? John's-"

"I don't want to hear about John's dick, Victoria."

"Your favourite person ever wouldn't exist without it," she shrugged.

"Riley's the only good thing that came from John. Anywho..."

"We're not sleeping together tomorrow. We're watching his favourite movie."

"Aww! That's so sweet! Look at you!! Finally moving on from Johnny Boy."

"I've been moved on for a while. I'm not sure the same can be said for him."

"He'll figure it out when he sees how happy you are with Luke!"

Tori giggled, "Time to clean up."

"I'll help... if we open a bottle of wine."

"Deal."

Tori was so nervous that she'd refolded the blanket on the back of the sofa at least six times now. She didn't really have company over except Ally and John. She wanted her apartment to look the best it ever had. All of Riley's toys were back in his toy bin and his room, she'd even cleaned the kitchen counter in case Luke went in there for something.

The intercom buzzed and Luke's voice broke through, "It's Luke. Hughes. Luke Hughes. Except I don't think you're expecting another Luke. But, I'm here."

Tori laughed, pressing the button to let him up. Less than a minute later there was a knock at her door. She took a deep breath, swining it open and smiling widely. Luke was in a Devils hoodie and some track pants. Luckily, she was dressed similarly.

"Welcome! I set up the living room for us."

"Perfect," Luke entered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Tori sat on the sofa, Luke boldly sitting right next to her. Their thighs were touching and he had his arm stretched over the back of the leather sofa.

She couldn't help but admire his thighs. That was one thing she loved about hockey boys. Their thighs. It was probably her favourite feature when looking for a guy.

She clicked on Disney+, the app immediately playing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

"Shit, sorry. Guess that's the last thing we were watching on here."

Luke just laughed, scooting closer to her (if that was possible). She relaxed, cuddling into his side. The movie started and Luke smiled down at her, pressing a kiss to her nose. She blushed, leaning up and connecting their lips in an actual kiss.

"No more kissing. You're going to distract me from the movie," Tori sassed, playfully pushing his face as he went in for another one.

"Fine," he pouted, turning his attention to the movie.

By the time the movie had ended, Tori was practically wrapped around Luke. A loud yawn escaped her.

"Was it that boring? That's my favourite movie we're talking about, Victoria," he feigned anger.

"It was sad. But I liked it. I need a nap though."

"Oh, I can go."

"No, come on. Your comfy," she grabbed his hand, leading him to her bedroom. Luke lay down next to her, allowing her to cuddle into his side, an arm thrown over his chest. She fell asleep almost immediately. He wasn't surprised though. He understood that Riley had been having a sleep regression and it was exhausting for John and Tori. He turned to look at the picture on her bedside table. It was her, Riley, and John at a beach. It looked recent, like it had just been taken over the off season. Tori was holding on of Riley's hands and John was holding the other. They looked like a happy, functional family. And it made Luke's brain run a mile a minute. How come her relationship with John hadn't worked out? Maybe she didn't commitment. Maybe she didn't want something serious. Maybe- A snore cut off his thoughts and he looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms. Why was he worried? She seemed happy. He just needed to not overthink it. Easier said than done.

Luke woke her up at 4:30, shaking her shoulder slightly. She slowly sat up, patting down her messy hair.

"What's up?" she mumbled.

"It's 4:30. I should probably go before John and Riley get here. I don't want to confuse anyone."

"Oh... okay. I, uh, sorry I fell asleep. I haven't had a full night of sleep in what feels like ages."

"You're fine, Tori. You coming to the game on Tuesday?"

"Yeah. I try to bring Riley to most home games. We just never stay long. He gets restless."

"See you then," he kissed her one last time.

"Mama!" Riley ran into Tori's arms.

"Hi, baby! Did you have fun at Dada's?"

"Yes! We 'ockey!"

"You played hockey! That's so fun! Let's get you some dinner!"

"Hungy!"

Tori smiled, standing up to talk to John.

"How was he?"

"You weren't kidding about the sleep. Couldn't get him down until 11 last night. And he was up at 3 and 5."

"Yeah, it's Hell. Did he stay in his cot?"

"Last night he slept in my bed. Night before he slept in his cot until 4."

"Did you use a pacifier?"

"I'm working on not. I know you said you want him to give it up. He used it last night because I could not calm him."

"That's fine. We're coming to the game Tuesday. Can't promise we'll stay after the first period though."

"All good. You wanna stay for dinner?"

"Nah, I'm going to Jack's. See you at the game."

"See you at the game."

John pressed a kiss to her hair, "Come say goodbye to Dada, Riley!"

"Buh-bye, Dada! 'Uv 'oo!"

"I love you too!"

Once the door was closed and locked for the night, Tori put Riley in his booster seat.

"How about mac and cheese?"

"Eese!"

"Let's do it! We're going to go see Dada play hockey in two days! Are you excited?"

"I 'uv 'ockey!"

"I know you do, baby! Mac and cheese time!"

Tori was exhausted Tuesday night as she entered the arena. Riley hadn't slept the last time night for more than 4 hours and was throwing tantrums all day because he was tired. He cried and cried for his dad. Tori eventually had to call John and have him come calm down Riley while she showered. She was on the brink of crying all day Tuesday and the stress of being at the game wasn't helping. But she'd promised John that Riley would be there at least for a little bit. She was chasing him around the family suite, trying to tire the little boy out. He'd started playing with some of the other kids and she finally had a moment to herself.

"Girl, you need a vacation," Reanne sighed, rubbing her friend's back.

"You're telling me. He's been so poorly behaved recently. I just... I'm considering have John move in until he gets over his sleep regression."

"Really?" Nicole gasped, "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure what my other options are. Call my mom to come. But she hates flying. I'd ask John's parents, but they don't love me since the break up."

"Luke?"

"We've been on two dates! And he's a rookie. He needs his sleep."

"A nanny?"

"I have no money, girl. Child support is a saving grace at the moment."

"I'm sure John would-"

"I'm not asking my ex for money."

"Are you still working for that online newspaper?"

"Yeah, but the pay isn't the best ever. It works for us, but I can't afford a nanny."

"Well, if you need moral support when you talk to John about it, we're all here," one of the other wives smiled kindly.

After the game, John came over for a bit. Tori had texted him and asked for him to come so they could talk. So, now they were tensely sitting at the kitchen table.

"What's up, Tori?"

"I- I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"I, um, I need you to move back in for a bit. This... this isn't me asking to get back together. Please don't take it that way. I- I'm seeing Luke now. But Riley has been a lot to handle on my own right now. And I really need help."

"I- I could pay for a nanny. Or-"

"John. I'm asking you as his father not as my ex-boyfriend."

"Right. Um, yeah. I can do that. For how long?"

"Until he's over this sleep regression. We need to tag team it right now. It's too much for one person."

"Let me go to my place and grab some stuff. I'll be back in an hour. Can you set up the sofa for me?"

"Why? You can sleep in my room. It's closer to Riley's."

"Because we're not together?"

"John, I'm not uncomfortable if you aren't. Your the father of my child. It's not weird for me."

"Then it's fine with me. See you in an hour."

God, she hoped this didn't backfire.

[phefics]

hii!

congrats on 1k! you deserve it!

🍪; nsfw alphabet, are you able to do Katniss Everdeen?

𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 // tysm!!! here you goooo!!!

a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex) katniss is sappy after sex, she really has to love someone to want to sleep with them in my opinion, so her secret sappy side always shows in those moments.

b: body part (their favourite body part of theirs/their partner’s) on herself, katniss isn't really concerned with her appearance. she likes her hair, but on her partner, she can't pick. she probably loves their eyes, their arms, their ass...

c: cum (anything to do with cum basically) katniss hates the sticky feeling of cum (from either anatomy) and always likes to get cleaned up immediately after sex.

d: dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) after everything she's been through in canon, i feel like katniss would be ashamed that she is interested in submission - she feels like she should be stronger than that, that the idea should terrify her.

e: experience (how experienced are they?) not at all, at least, if we're talking canon - peeta and gale are the only people she has ever kissed, and her and peeta don't have sex til the entire war is over, lol. so, i think she is really inexperienced with not just sex, but intimacy and romance in general.

f: favorite position (this goes without saying) katniss likes to be physically dominant even if she is still behaving submissively - she likes being on top, physically not-restrained or caged in.

g: goofy (are they more serious/humorous?) katniss tries to be serious during sex, because she thinks that's what you're supposed to do. but, she isn't very good at it, because when she feels embarrassed/awkward/unsure, her reaction is usually to laugh or crack jokes.

h: hair (how well groomed are they are, etc.) katniss canonically appreciates having her body hair because the capitol always forced her to be totally waxed and hairless, so i can't imagine her choosing to shave any part of herself of her own free will.

i: intimacy (how they are during the moment) katniss is very shy about intimacy - she struggles to hold eye contact, often can't stop nervously smiling or laughing, isn't sure what to say or do...but her vulnerability is the biggest show of intimacy, the way she fully gives in to her partner is her proof of connection and love.

j: jack off (masturbation headcanons) katniss doesn't masturbate like practically ever i feel like she is very neutral on sex like she could live without it she always gave me like demisexual/sex-positive ace vibes in the books.

k: kink (one or more of their kinks) katniss likes being taken care of, praised, and occasionally ordered around.

l: location (favorite places to do it) she doesn't do public, she is a bed or couch kinda girl.

m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?) this is sooo cheesy but like. love is her motivation. she wants to have sex with the person that she loves bc it is intimate and beautiful and that's genuinely the point to her, the pleasure is just an added bonus.

n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) she is anti-being tied up or restrained in any way, being degraded, anything public or involving other people.

o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) loves to receive head so much, omg.

p: pace (are they fast and rough/slow and sensual?) prefers a slow and sensual vibe, but can get that passionate rush sometimes.

q: quickie (their opinions on quickies) she's not a big fan, she likes to take her time.

r: risk (are they game to experiment?) i'd say katniss is incredibly vanilla and isn't too interested/comfortable experimenting.

s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for/long do they last?) orgasms aren't very easy for her, so by the time she cums once, she feels sort of spent, but if someone was willing to be patient and let her cum multiple times, regardless of the time it took...she's a survivalist, i'm sure she can last.

t: toy (do they own toys/use them? on a partner/themselves?) not really interested. what's the point in something touching her clit if it isn't the finger/tongue of her partner?

u: unfair (how much they like to tease) katniss is not very teasing or even talkative in bed, she just feels out of her comfort zone, i can't imagine her even attempting any form of dirty talk without it feeling perfomative/cringe to her. outside the bedroom, she can have a very flirtatious way of teasing, but in it, she sort of clams up...

v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) she can be super loud, but she doesn't mean to be, it just sort of happens. as her orgasm builds, she slowly grows louder and louder, whining and moaning all while trying to stifle it in her hand/pillow.

w: wild card (a random headcanon) katniss has a lot of scars from the games (i know that canonically, the capitol really fixed her up after the 74th, but after the 75th, she never went back to have them do any more weird surgeries on her, so i assume she has plenty of marks from the quarter quell) and isn't insecure about them, she knows what they symbolize and doesn't want them gone, but she often likes to keep some clothes on to conceal them, just because looking at them often makes her feel weird.

x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants) a cute, thick bush of black hair conceals most of her pussy at first glance, but when you're between her legs, her lips are a lovely dark color (brown!katniss headcanon rise) and quite average-sized, just a typical cute pussy.

y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?) not very existent, honestly, but she is usually down for sex, she just doesn't have a drive to initiate it and she doesn't need/crave it.

z: zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) relatively quickly, all that vulnerability takes a lot out of her lol.

[wintersettled]

Ongoing Batfam recs

disclaimer! this is being written primarily off the top of my head so don't expect insane quality! also I'm aware a lot of people aren't sure where to start or what's current -- for that I recommend looking through reading guides but I thought I'd talk a bit about current ongoing batfam comics I'm aware of. To read these you could go to your local comic store, use the DC Infinite app or do what I often do and use alternative sites to read comics, many of which can be found by searching "where to read comics free reddit" via your internet browser.

not all batfam characters are currently appearing very much in comics so I'm afraid there will be a distinct lack of many favourites such as Tim Drake, Helena Bertinelli, Stephanie Brown, Jason Todd, and Jean-Paul Valley, however it should be noted that in Batman: The Brave and the Bold there is always a chance that an issue will feature one of them. This series features 60 pages containing multiple short stories which vary in length, some occurring across multiple issues. While it is labeled "batman" it regularly features characters outside of the batfamily.

I'd also like to not that due to DC's All-In there are many new authors and storylines starting up so most are barely any issues in! These are really just early on thoughts BUT it's a great time to start reading!

Regarding Bruce Wayne himself, Batman is currently (as usual) appearing in two new all-in arcs in both Detective Comics and Batman (2016). Can I say I like either? No! It is a long established fact that I am most definitely not Taylor's biggest fan and him deciding to rehash already done and in fact tired storylines as well as making minor adjustments to origins is no surprise nor do I care -- still I'll be fair and tell you that the story involves, you guessed it, the no-killing rule woah! Something so deftly written you can spot the killer from the first couple pages except this time the issue ends off with perhaps one of the most ridiculous and bad plot twists I've ever seen... enough hating on that. Now with the Batman series itself, I fear I dropped it ages ago. I'm understanding there's some conflict regarding the return of previous characters but following Gotham War I struggle to car about this run and I'll admit so far what I've heard from those who have read the recent series is mediocre at best.. still I recommend checking it out for yourself seeing as I can't actually speak on it.

Nightwing aka Richard Grayson is having a seemingly better time. With the introduction of Dan Watters as the new writer we're getting a new Nightwing (2016) story that I am feeling really positive about! I fully recommend checking this one out, just going off the first issue it looks good and I have spent the last month yearning for more! Titans (2023), however, I'm a bit more sceptical of... I'm liking the change in dynamics (always love a Roy feature and Donna leading) which see different characters taking the forefront of the team. I'm not a big fan of Beast Boy nor his dynamic with Raven so it may not be the best but I think the Titans are a super important part of Dick's story so I'll say if you're not keen on this, maybe run it back and pick up The New Teen Titans (1980) which is the start of the team and even sees Dick become Nightwing!

A new writer has finally joined up on Catwoman (2018) and let me say that I loved that first issue. Someone is trying to kill Catwoman and all of her previous identities. We hearken back to her international thievery and what a huge scale Selina Kyle was once on! I'm very excited to see her travel as the story progresses!

Damian Wayne continues as a main character on Batman & Robin (2023) which I am not caught up to so I can't comment on the story but at least in the past it's had its moments! I can't say I've always been totally into the portrayal of Talia however this series has in the past emphasized Damian's relationships with his father as well has others like Nika aka Flatline!

Both Barbara Gordon and Cassandra Cain have been appearing in Birds of Prey (2023)! I enjoy the series but I will admit I feel like it's still finding its footing and I loath the occasional portrayal of Barbara as Batgirl -- something I feel is actively harming the quality of the story. Most of the time she is portrayed as Oracle, and while her wheelchair has yet to make a comeback, I'm hoping somebody explodes the dark spirit of Dan Didio from that office so ableism and misogyny can finally die a cold and lonely death in their buildings janitorial closet. Anyways! Cass has also been appearing in her new solo Batgirl (2024)!! This is so exciting! If you don't know Batgirl (2000) is possibly one of the best things ever written in history and every one should read it so I'm so excited to see her back! This first arc seems to focus a lot on the dynamic with Lady Shiva, Batgirl's mother. While the first issue was more set up for the rest, I cannot wait!

outside of elseworlds I'd say that about wraps things up for current batfam! pick one up, I'd love to chat about it!

[yellowocaballero]

hi! i've been reading some of your older fics and was wondering if there's any merit in watching buffy for the first time in the year 2024

This may not be obvious, but this is actually an extremely complicated and highly subjective question. I'll try to go on for too long.

As background: my mother loved Buffy and its spin-off Angel growing up. It was our Bible (besides the actual Bible). Not kidding, she was on the forums and fan groups and wrote fanfiction for it and everything (These days, she's really into kdramas and Asian dramas, and calls me about how the Thai seem like big fans of gay people). So I'm quite biased.

BTVS is both a product of its times and ahead of its times. It was a show about feminism and the struggle of living in this world as a woman, when very few shows were doing that. It was the first show to have a long-lasting lesbian couple, and the first show to depict a kiss between them. For better or for worse, it was one of the codifiers of broody vampire boyfriend. It was pretty unafraid to be experimental in a lot of what it did. It had incredibly complex and nuanced character work and growth that I still aspire to. Spike's arc is still matched in quality only by Avatar's Zuko. Angel's long term arc, from Buffy to his spin-off series, still makes him one of the most complex characters on TV. It had the most complex depiction of depression on TV at the time and I still think it's one of the best. I think the show had very high highs.

It also had very low lows. Some of the feminism is problematic in retrospect. The sapphic couple has a rather famous element that was severely problematic. There are, overall, some deeply atrocious arcs that I can appreciate objectively but not in practice. Xander: a whole-ass character aged awfully. On a meta level, the workplace conditions were bad (thanks, Whedon.) There are no people of color. The spoiler's sake I won't go into detail on this, but in general the good stuff was so influential and the bad stuff was just awful.

I think these days people tend to brush off the entire thing because it's Whedon. That is more than fair. But I'd also say that Whedon & Buffy is extremely similar to Brian Michael Bendis & Ultimate Spider-Man. Bendis was fantastic at writing sassy, bouncy, permanently stressed-out teens - issue was, he wrote entirely different serious adult characters the way he wrote these sassy teens. Same with Whedon: the annoyingly constant quips are perfect for Buffy, because that's who the characters are. They're awful in Marvel, because Steve Rogers is not Xander. Kinda similarly, Buffy was genuinely feminist for 90s TV - issue is, Whedon has not grown or developed his views, and now his works feel so sexist (oh my fucking god why did you treat Natasha like that). After a certain point it's egotistical: you're writing like that because you're Joss Whedon and it's how you write, not because it's what's best for the characters and story. But it was really important to me to get the character voices right, and it's freaking difficult to endlessly write dialogue that distinct, full of voice, witty, and clever.

I think BTVS & Angel TV's greatest influence on my writing is how intensely character-driven both of those shows were, and how intricate the characters were. What every character did was something they would do, if that made sense. Even the stuff I hated to watch, that made me uncomfortable, was the culmination of so much (usually). I think I also picked up the constant wit and humor lol. On a personal level, the conversations I would have with my mother where she broke down the character motivations and composition of the story was my first exposure to looking at storytelling from an analytical perspective and a framework of critical analysis, which was an approach I carried into the rest of the media I consumed and that was the primary reason I was able to become a decent writer. Thanks, Mom. Have fun with your kdramas.

TL:DR: There is merit, especially if you care about good character work. There are things about it that may make you want to drop it, which is extremely valid. Season 1 is rough but interesting, Season 2 and 5 are the best, Season 3 is pretty good, Season 4 and 7 skippable, and Season 6 is........epic highs, epic lows......

[lil-ace]

Gift for @march-flowerr based on a scene in chapter 20 of lay bare the bones of the earth, (hopefully I managed to do it justice!) :

“Count us down,” Tommy instructs Joel, and then chirrups to Justified and takes off before he’s even started counting. Ellie screeches and digs her heels into Curry’s sides, leans over her saddle as her horse leaps forward. “You asshole!” They race across the plains, the distance closing between them till they’re neck to neck. Tommy’s laughing; he’s taken off his hat and has the brim of it clenched between his teeth, both hands woven tight into the reins as he hunches forward. He catches Ellie’s eye and smirks, and she calls him a fucking cheater and surges ahead. The ground flashes beneath her; ahead, the walls of Jackson grow closer, taller. The lupine tickles the side of her face, whipped into a frenzy by the wind. She feels - powerful, connected: to her horse, to her valley, to her people. Her family. She glances over her shoulder. Tommy waves at her, his hat in his hand. He shouts something she can’t hear, but she grins all the same. She beats them all home.

I want to thank March for everything that 'lay bare the bones of the earth' is, and what a lovely ride it's been to follow along for these past few months. Painting this over the weekend was a really emotional and fulfilling experience for me, and I got a lot to say about it, so I'll put it under the read more cut to not clog up people's dashes lol.

Art school genuinely made me lose passion for art. I got so burnt out creatively that I didn't draw for years after art school. Initially I feared I'd lost all my skills with how long I hadn't drawn anything and that anxiety only made me put off picking up a pen for even longer. But as I was slowly getting back into art, my skills were just fine (albeit a bit rusty) but I came to the realization I'd lost something worse: The burning passion to create. Making art was now boring. It didn't feel fun or meaningful like it used to. All of my art felt hollow, because I felt hollow. I had always used art as a means to express myself creatively, emotionally, and you used to be able to see that in my art. Art school ruined that, it turned art into a mechanical chore, something to be nit-picked apart, critiqued and verbally torn to shreds. It made me look down on everything I made as 'not good enough', look at all the flaws and mistakes. I no longer wanted to share my art with people, because I was so convinced that's all they'd see, too. It's something I'm still working on unlearning now.

A large part of getting back into art has been trying to make it feel fun again, which has been a bit of a struggle. So I figured if I can't feel happy just by making art, maybe if I involve my special interest in it (tlou), the joy I feel from engaging with my special interest would maybe rub off on drawing eventually. So I slowly started drawing tlou fanart, just for myself. While I've been in the fandom since the very beginning, I've never really interacted a ton with other people in the fandom, outside of leaving kudos on fics, maybe a comment if I could work up the courage for it (socially anxious autistic person over here). But one of my close friends finally convinced me to make a tumblr, try posting some art and connect with other tlou fans. I've been slowly dipping my toes in tlou tumblr and it's been a lovely experience so far.💖

Tlou fics have always been a great source of comfort for me, and reading lay bare the bones of the earth was such an emotional journey, one that made me cry multiple times (happy tears & sad tears!). But reading chapter 20 was something else. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's been living rent free in my head ever since. March's words painted such a beautiful picture. I just got this image stuck in my mind, of Tommy & Ellie racing through the lupine fields as the sun is setting behind them and I had this burning urge to paint it, a feeling I haven't had in years! Figuring out the composition, picking all the colors, trying to get Curry's Appaloosa spots right, it made me feel all giddy as I could see each step bringing it closer to completion. I feel like I finally got a little taste of the joy I had for art all those years ago. And I wouldn't have gotten to experience that had I not gotten to read lay bare the bones of the earth. I can't thank you enough for that March 🥺 You've created such a wonderful story, the way you portray emotions is so raw, your writing reminds me of a rainy summer's day in the best way. You are such an inspiration and I can't wait to see what you do next!

[antisocialxconstruct]

You already made me play shadowrun, convince me to play elden ring as well 👀

oh HMMMM an interesting challenge :o

In one sense it might be an easier sell to you personally, I know you're more into fantasy than scifi to begin with and Elden Ring is definitely a familiar "swords and dragons and magic" kind of setting, albeit with the gothic and eldritch sensibilities you'd expect from FromSoftware. In my opinion this is a major selling point, it feels distinctly high fantasy without just feeling like, y’know, Skyrim But Harder. (And considering I'M someone who's definitely way more into scifi than fantasy, I feel like it's noteworthy that I was still really compelled by the setting.)

The infamous Soulsborne Difficulty is obviously the big sticking point for most people. I can't confidently compare it to other Fromsoft games, but I can say that as someone who doesn't have a ton of experience with soulslikes and generally doesn't think of them as a genre I'd actively seek out, I DID eventually get extremely comfortable with Elden Ring. It can be challenging if it's not a gameplay style you're familiar with, but especially early on you have a lot of opportunities to experiment and mess up long before mistakes start feeling really costly, so it's a good time to try a lot of things. Look up guides, read the wiki, skim some recommended builds... that way if you realize you picked a starting class that doesn't have optimal stats for the skills and weapons you want to use, you can reroll early (unlike me, suffering with a steep faith handicap despite it being like the second or third most important stat for my build =_=) Also, just approach the game with the knowledge that you WILL die and you WILL have to try things more than once, especially if you're not well versed in the genre. I feel like it's much easier to have fun with this kind of game if you approach the challenging fights as earnest attempts and experiments to build a strategy on, rather than "failures" that just mean you have to Do Better. And of course, if something is just too hard to be fun... you can go somewhere else 🤷 hardcore fans might be horrified by my approach but often I would drop one thing that was too hard and wander off somewhere else, get caught up in some other quest line or dungeon or something, and come back to the first challenge so long later that I would be comically overleveled and just get the satisfaction of steamrolling it.

The equally infamous Oblique Soulsborne Storytelling is probably the OTHER major sticking point, and on that I have to say... it is extremely oblique lmao I think @axperjan got way more out of the lore than I did because they actually stopped to read item descriptions and such, so I guess my advice there would be take the time to read item descriptions if you want to know who the fuck everyone is and what they've been up to. But even with the minimal amount of lore I was actually absorbing, I still felt like I was absorbing the ~vibes~ and a lot of the time, that was enough for me to feel like I understood the kinds of struggles and conflicts I was dealing with and how I was meant to feel about them. I got very invested emotionally in several specific characters, and actively want to play the game again in order to absorb more about others and understand them better. Overall I really enjoy the tone of Elden Ring's narrative: there's an unavoidable sickness and despair to the world you're exploring, but an equally clear and distinct note of hope and optimism, a feeling that everything is on the brink of a dramatic change and an earnest desire for that change to be for the better, even if the cost is high.

The game's soundtrack and art direction are beautiful, and MOST of the combat encounters (especially boss fights) feel elegant and satisfyingly structured, so even if you never engaged with the story or lore even a little bit you would get the pleasure of playing through an expansive and competent work of art. There are definitely some recycled maps and enemies that can feel a bit tedious after the first couple times, and some sequences that feel just a little too mean-spirited to be fair, but maybe that's a bit inevitable and in my experience even the ones that made me rage-quit for a night were never enough to sour my opinion of the game as a whole.

I think Elden Ring is a great soulsborne game for people who WANT to like the soulsborne genre but are intimidated by its reputation. It's not so much "easier" that it feels like a disingenuous introduction, but it allows you to be a little more patient and go at your own pace long enough to understand what the genre is actually asking of you and start engaging with it on its own terms. I'm only two boss fights away from finishing the core game and I'm excited for the dlc, which is further than I've ever gotten and more time than I've ever invested in any other soulsborne/soulslike.

Also you get a cool goat-horse and you can feed him snacks while you're riding around 🐐

[yakuzacanons]

(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ heyyy!! I love your writing, I've been checking this blog for some time now and your headcanons never fail to make my day ♡ I wanted to request some headcanons where the Yakuza guys date an idol. Majima already has some experience with idols, having dated Mirei in the past but I'd love to see how the others would treat them and how their relationship would work out.

Hell yea hell yea, let's get to the top n all that jazz. Thanks for your patience, finally getting back into the normal swing of things after like a million trips and family things this summer, it's been hectic but I love you all. Headcanons below the cut, mwah.

Kazuma Kiryu

Might be a little awkward about it at first since Haruka is also an idol and he just thinks he's too old for most people in the idol scene. This is actually kind of beneficial though as he would never try to get in the way of your work and is always encouraging. Probably asks Haruka what kind of gifts idols like and whatnot. Overall respectful but depending on famous you are, it might be difficult for him to deal with the barrage of fans. Time apart doesn't bother him though, he knows work is work like that.

Majiama Goro

Unphased by the concept of idols but is still pretty traumatized from his time with Mirei so he'd have to really be into someone to look past all of that. Having said that, once he's in a relationship, he's in it to win it. Doesn't really attend the concerts as that kind of crowd is too overwhelming even for him but helps in other ways, like organizing merchandise after you signed them. More of a behind the scenes supporter than anything, says things like "Knock 'em dead out there!"

Saejima Taiga

Baffled that an idol would even be interested in him. Very supportive and gentle though. Will miss you a lot if you go on tour but isn't clingy. Instead he just calls when he knows you have a day off between cities to ask how things are going. Brings flowers to your dressing room after a show.

Akiyama Shun

Gets a kick out of the whole thing, it probably turns him on some to be honest. One of the best of the boys to ask for advice on when it comes to costumes and outfits. Good eye for color coordination. Doesn't mind being in the public spotlight with you and isn't shy about being seen with you. Just wants you to succeed at your dream.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Most likely of all of the boys to meet you at some kind of idol event. Tanimura has a mild interest in the idol scene in Japan and Korea but never saw himself actually knowing let alone dating someone who is an idol. Super understanding and supportive and has a good understanding of the more modern idol scene than the rest of the boys. Good at helping you with stretches or massages when you're feeling sore.

Ryuji Goda

He is now your number one fan. That's just the way it works. Type of guy to be like "Fellas, did ya hear my darlin' gets to perform tonight? We're ALL goin', right?!". You probably will have sold out shows due to him bringing literally everyone he knows. If the venue has box seats or VIP private areas, he usually hangs around there as Ryuji and most normal people don't mix well. If he can't make it to a show, he sends the most giant bouquet of flowers and a handwritten note.

Nishikiyama Akira

He'll be in the crowd yelling the fan chants and holding up the biggest sign ever. More than happy to just be there to support you and let you know that even if you only have one fan, he will in fact be that one fan. Always gives you a hug after each show he attends, regardless of how sweaty you may be.

Daigo Dojima

The most polar opposite to an idol of all of the boys but that doesn't mean he's incapable of being supportive. His mother probably will not approve initially though, which might be a struggle. He's seldom available to attend shows but he will make an effort to either drop you off or pick you up after a show with his private car. Washes your back for you after particularly long shows.

Mine Yoshitaka

Perhaps the best suited for dating an idol when it comes to looks. Mine dresses and carries himself really well so he'd pair well with some form of celebrity in photographs at least. Actually secretly jealous of all the fans who show up to handshake events, but will kind of pout about it if you tease him. He'll get you back later though, probably in the bedroom. Other than that, he's entirely neutral.

Tatsuo Shinada

Thinks you're just the coolest and the cutest. Type of guy to be like "Babe, I saw you in this magazine today!" before handing you 5 copies of said magazine. If you're in the early stages of your idol career, he'll definitely try to get the word out about you via his reporter connections if he can. Doesn't like to be in the crowd during shows but if he's allowed to stand on the side of the stage behind the curtains to watch and cheer you on, he loves that.

[pleas3pretendimnothere]

May 2024

Only read two books this month, but one of them was the size of three books so... Let's talk about them!

The Way of Kings

By Brandon Sanderson - I'd been putting off this one for a long time, in part because the book is nearly 1,300 pages. I am a Brandon Sanderson fan (I've read 7 other books by the man), and I heard this was his magnum opus. I should have set lower expectations.

I still very much enjoyed Kings. I've read too many bad books to think this was actually bad. It's just...fine! Certainly not the huge, exciting fantasy epic everyone made it out to be. Online hype had me expecting Elden Ring, but all I got was Final Fantasy. We all like Final Fantasy, but by no means is it a modern feat of the genre!

A million people have reviewed this book, and most criticisms I've read are entirely valid. The highlight of Kings is Kaladin's story. Bridge Four's struggle is frightening and endearing--you want to read those parts because it really does feel like characters' lives are stake. That's good! But then, you don't really care about Kaladin when he was eight--please, get back to Bridge Four. Nor do you want to read about Dalinar, a flat, Aragorn-esque mirror of a dozen other characters Sanderson has already written. Shallan, our emotional female lead, is...fine. She's fine. All in all, it's tough to stick around for 1,300 pages with these plain, stereotypical, morally-impervious characters leading the way.

Nonetheless, there's intrigue in the world that kept me reading all the way to the end. Kaladin's story is strange and fantastical, and there's enough mystery peppered into Dalinar and Shallan's chapters to keep my attention. If only the book were a tight, 700 pages, which, I think Sanderson could have easily managed.

I could write about my qualms with this book for ages, but I think it comes down to this. Read Kings if you haven't read anything else by Sanderson--having already read Mistborn, Warbreaker, and Elantris, Kings brings nothing unique to Sanderson's cosmere. Read if you prefer worldbuilding to character work. Read if you want to finally know what the big friggin deal is! But this book isn't a masterpiece by any means. Just RENT IT!

Planesrunner

By Ian McDonald - Where Kings is often fine, Planesrunner is completely and totally fine. This is the definition of middle-of-the-pack. I picked this one up a million years ago from a used bookstore, and sadly, it's been sitting on my shelf all this time for no good reason. Super bad books are fun. Super good books are delightful. Average books bring nothing to the table.

I'm so sorry, Ian. The book's premise rocks. A London kid discovers his kidnapped father has left him a map that allows him to hop universes--a map that is heavily sought after by more sinister forces. Sounds fun, right? That's why I bought it!

And there was a lot to like about Planesrunner, but by the end, I just didn't care. The main character is a perfect, big-brained, Artemis Fowl archetype who believes in goodness and justice. Alternate-universe London is weird, colorful, and evocative of Lanthimos' Barcelona in Poor Things, but I never truly felt like our characters were in danger here. The main character was just too smart to ever be threatened. He made plans with his gang of witty Mortal Engines-like airship crew, and they always worked out brilliantly! When he ultimately succeeds at the book's end--oh no! One thing went wrong, and now we have to have a sequel! Having just read Catherine Fisher's Obsidian Mirror, which has a very similar plot of using a McGuffin to travel times/dimensions in search of a lost father, I would recommend Fisher's books instead. The main character's stubbornness and anger make him interesting, and you want him to succeed--or fail, even! You won't find any intrigue like that in Planesrunner.

This book is incredibly unspecial. Read Fisher's Obsidian Mirror saga or Philip Reeve's Mortal Engines series instead. This one, just SKIP IT!

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

at long last i finished watching TOS (only like.... a year after i meant to originally watch it)!!!! now i only have TAS left and i'll have seen all of Star Trek!

some TOS opinions and takeaways under the cut:

fundamentally i'm just not a TOS fan. i watched a lot of the episodes when i was a kid so i definitely have nostalgia for them and i can recognize when episodes are good and how much the show has influenced pop culture and science fiction as a whole but just as like.... a show to sit down and watch for fun? i enjoy pretty much every Star Trek show more than TOS.

i primarily like Star Trek (and fiction more broadly) for the characters and while there are some really great character moments for Kirk, Spock, & McCoy and some one-off characters, i just struggle to find that 60s style of plot driven scifi engaging (which i find fascinating because i still LOVE 60s era Doctor Who which has much much worse production values than Star Trek and i feel like most people would say is less engaging). and to be fair, a lot of the reason i found some of the TOS plots boring was because they were the blueprint for so much other scifi media so i can't really hold it against the show.

that said, i really don't want it to sound like i hate TOS. i don't. i just think the ideas and concepts it has are better explored in the movies & future tv series than in the show itself. i totally get the appeal especially for people who grew up with it.

there were plenty of episodes i did really really like though (ones i've seen before and new ones that i've barely heard of) and my top episodes are: The Trouble with Tribbles (a childhood favorite of mine), City on the Edge of Forever (an obvious classic), Is There In Truth No Beauty (i had never seen or heard of this episode before but i loved it so much! i thought it had some really unique storytelling and i loved Miranda so much so i totally see why they brought back the actress for tng), Journey to Babel (another obvious pick), Court Martial (one i had seen before but i liked it much more now that i was more familiar with the characters), The Conscience of the King (great Kirk episode, tragic backstories, and fun stuff with Hamlet!), and The Ultimate Computer (an old scifi concept but executed really well on every level)

most of the episodes i aggressively hated were just the really sexist & racist ones. Elaan of Troyius, The Paradise Syndrome, The Omega Glory, etc. i'd say about 60% of the episodes i just... don't have strong opinions on at all. they're fine.

i do really like Spock, Kirk, and McCoy, i definitely ship mcspirk some (yes McCoy is essential to the Dynamic). Spock is a pretty obvious character to like given how he's the prototype for pretty much every alien othered character who came after tos. it's been said before but Kirk is so much of a more likeable character when you set aside the "handsome male hero womanizer" archetype and realize that in most episodes he's a very genuine compassionate and sensitive leader who's been through some great traumas. and McCoy i definitely don't think about quite as much but he's the essential "id" to the dynamic, the one rooted in humanity and bringing back a sense of individual personhood to Spock (who's a bundle of repression) and Kirk (who constantly goes through the captain arc of "my ship and my crew comes before myself")

i do (as i've said before) prefer shows that emphasize an ensemble cast so i'm always a bit :( at the lack of time we spend with Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, Chekov & Chapel. i like them all but it'd be nice for them to have some more depth.

the TOS movies still remain my favorite part of TOS era. i genuinely really love all of the movies (even Final Frontier despite it being Like That, there is a good movie hidden in there)

[nerdalmighty]

Make me choose between two things:

Ok if you insist. 😈

Only one of these can exist, which do you choose? Good Omens season 2 or Baldur's Gate 3?

-anntickwittee

What an absolutely vile question (affectionate).

To be honest? I know I'm currently obsessed with BG3 so I'm probably biased, but I think I'd rather keep BG3 over GO2. AND I HATE SAYING THAT!!!

My reason being: We were all super content with GO S1. It followed the book pretty closely and added elements that I think made it even more enjoyable than the book (In my opinion! I know it's beloved in its book form and I love it too, I just love how the show expanded on things). I truly didn't know what to expect from S2 because S1 was so well self contained and that's all fans thought we were ever going to get. I am THRILLED we got an S2. It's gorgeous and perfect and I'm beyond excited for S3 (which starts filming in January!!!!)

With BG3, it's really gotten me out of my comfort zone in terms of gaming and storytelling. In the past, I steered clear of big open world games because I was way too overwhelmed and prefer straightforward paths in games like Pokemon and Deltarune (I know there are multiple endings and ways to play, but for the most part there's an order in which to do things). With BG3, there are truly so many options that each gaming experience can feel brand new and pan out incredibly differently from a previous game. I love that there's replayability and that I'll be able to keep replaying it for years to come.

It's also helped push me in terms of playing and understanding dnd. I've been playing for a little over a year now and watching actual plays for longer, but I understand even more now having played this game. There's always a little feeling of excitement when the DM or people I'm watching play mention something that I learned because I've played BG3.

Additionally, something I've been struggling with recently is feeling motivated to be creative. I love my job and the people I work with, but there can be a monotony that creeps in since I work from home and have a fairly regimented schedule (animation production is NO JOKE! And it RULES!). Baldur's Gate has consistently inspired me to create (mainly write, which is what I've always wanted to do) and I'm so grateful for that after feeling lost for a long time.

Granted, I'm still feeling lost and unsure of my abilities, but getting to practice storytelling with characters I love and settings and elements I find interesting is really amazing. Yes, Good Omens 2 could have inspired something like this in me, but for whatever reason, it was BG3 that did. I read (and continue to read) a good amount of GO fics, but I was never inspired enough to create my own (though it DID inspire me to make some fun gifsets which I loved making). With BG3, not only have other fics inspired me, but there are moments between cutscenes and story beats that I've wanted to write and expand on since the game is so huge and the writers and developers could only expand on so much themselves. Ultimately, I want to be able to create those fantastical worlds and lovable characters and I'm really thankful BG3 reminded me of that.

Do I have any big ideas currently? No. But the intent is there and that's huge! So I'll keep persisting :)

POINT IS: I love both pieces of media and they're both deeply special to me, but since BG3 has helped reawaken a part of myself that's been snoozing for a long time, I'll pick that FOR NOW.

[olivieraa]

actually, y'know, idek when was the last time I talked about ygo abridged

like if I happen to be on tumblr when an ep comes out I'm like *O* and I'll post about it cause to me tumblr was always a "get your feelings out in the moment" site so in those moments I'm like aaaah new ep!

but never like talk talked about it, last time would be over 10 years ago defo

honestly? its special to me. Ive a great memory but I defo struggle with this not knowing the order, so it was either a) I decided to finally watch AN ANIME for the first time ever and put on inuyasha, THEN got curious about returning to yugioh and discovered season 0 and THEN watched the abridged or b) I randomly remembered I'd never seen the end of ygo and so looked up amvs of it on youtube thus discovering ygo season 0 came first and then found the abridged through that and THEN realised I wanted to welcome anime into my life and so I started Inuyasha and sooooo on down I went, the anime road from then on

so, ygo abridged is at the beginning of that journey

at that time in my life, I was heavily struggling with ocd. and I was ditching school a lot. if I wasn't hiding in the town library for 6 hours, I was at a friends who decided to ditch with me. I had my two reliables. and we always watched the abridged together. quoted it non-stop. eventually I was dating a lad for a month, and when we broke up (he had the same friends as me), HE started quoting the abridged with them as well cause they showed it to him. made me MAD! lmao

it was also something I watched every time we went on a ride to look at houses during the recession in 2009-2010. those long drives. abridged kept me and my brother sane lol

and then cut to being online with online friends, and tumblr, we all shared the abridged love with each other.

it was just unfortunate the episodes were rarer at that point but definitely... more frequent than they are now. they were coming out prob around 4.... times a year. maybe? whereas they used to be weekly. so that was a big change.

and now they're once a year. you're lucky if there's 2.

but here's the thing.

yeah its a parody. but idk... the fact that you can just pick up where you left off every time and not be a confused mess makes me happy. the fact that the characters are so distinctive and you never forget their personality traits is amazing to me.

I'm just proud of LK bc he could have dropped it a long time ago. I've seen youtube channels have their hype years and then fans disappear CONSTANTLY. video views going from 2.5 mill to maybe 30k. it happens.

but a good chunk of people who have been watching the abridged now for 15 years now or more still get excited when a new once a year ep drops. you just pick it up, have a giggle fest, wipe away a tear and then move on. never sitting there in anticipation for the next cause you know it'll be a while. just... happy to go on youtube and see one randomly there on a random day when you're not looking for it.

it fills me with joy.

my ONLY con here is that, bruh, season 5 to me is the best ygo arc. I been wanting to see that shit abridged for soooooooooo fucking long. there's so many scenes that I wanna know what he does with. I want to see Bakura without Marik, cause LK's flaw with Bakura was that he knew how to write Marik on his own but not Bakura on his own. so I wanna see that more. I wanna see what he does with Set and Kisara, what direction he goes. I love Joey's ghost moments in the main show so I I'm hyped for that.

the sad thing about it is being hyped for something I prob wont see till.......................... 2028? 2030?

probably.

but I'll still be watching. if he makes it that far anyway <3

[adam-sadmon]

So ya know, a lot of people I know (friends, acquaintances etc.) have felt, especially this year, the call of the abyss, the sheer absence of any purpose or will to live, some felt it a little more than others.

I've always considered myself lucky, ever since I overcame that issue myself, that I'm maybe uniquely gifted in the ability to find a lot of joy in the little things, it's easy to see that as taking what scraps life throws off its plate to you, but I especially am guilty of always thinking life should be more, a better job, a relationship, more money, bigger house, fancy clothes etc. And to that I'd say, as I've learned: Survive first, live second. These are trying times even for those with a decent starting hand, let alone those without.

So, with all that said, I wanted to get out a few little things I've enjoyed this year, I hope you reblog it and add some of your own, I have no end of want to pick up some new hobbies or fascinations, and I'd love to make some mutuals on here. So with all that said:

Gunpla- Right, so this has been the big one. I first got into it when I came across a Zaku II Gunpla on Halloween and, being a big fan of mecha and the Zaku's design I picked it up. Prior to this I had been struggling with my free time and what to do with it, it was a time when I eagerly anticipated sleep and would zone out and go into a full dopamine fueled trance of YouTube shorts and whatever was on TV. Gunpla changed that. Now, every night for an half an hour, an hour, maybe 2, I'd sit down, put a podcast from my mountain of media I need to get through on in the background, and get to work. It's been genuinely nice having an actual hobby, something I can take some time on, actually think my own thoughts for a little bit, and be rewarded with something to put up. For Christmas I invested in some tools (sharper snippers, some different grit sandpaper, line removers etc.) and hope next year to slowly improve, make my builds a little cleaner. Gunpla really speaks to the average Japanese hobbyist I imagine, the whole idea of measure twice, cut once, spending an inordinate amount of time on a single part so it's polished to perfection, and taking pride in what you do, I get it now.

If you want to get into Gunpla yourself I, much as I love the Zaku, can't really recommend the High Grade Zaku II as mine falls apart if I look at it funny, though I've recently bought a high grade RX-78 which I've heard is sturdier. If you like either of those and find yourself getting into the hobby then I absolutely recommend the Real Grade Z'Gok, it was a treat to put together from start to finish, it's a beautiful piece of plastic even if you (like me) don't plan on painting it, it's sturdy and it's articulation is second to none. I've recently picked up a Real Grade Zeong for Christmae and, on and off-note, I feel like every time I see a new suit I think "that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen", and it immediately enters my faves. Z'Gok, Zeong, Gogg and Hygogg.

Gundam - So, this may be cheating because arguably Gundam is as far removed from a little thing as possible, but really the way I see Gundam is you choose what looks the coolest to you and jump in.

So a friend asked if I had actually watched any Gundam when I bought my Gunpla, and while I maintain so long as you think the Gunpla in question would look sick on a shelf you need no other reason to justify getting it, I'm again a big fan of mecha so decided I'd have a go. So here come the recommendations:

Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky - First of the Thunderbolt movies and (from what I understaaaaand?) is an OVA of a full series, December Sky is for my money the most War is Hell of any Gundam series while still remaining actually believable and salient to war and it's impacts as we know it today. It stars Daryl Lorenz, an amputee sniper and mobile suit pilot of the evil Zeon regime and focuses a lot on his and his brothers in arms' role under Zeon and how each side has good, honest men and women fighting for causes they don't understand or have lost all meaning of, with special focus on the cold brutality of war, how it affects people inside the mechs and out and how much can be lost for so little. It has a pretty famous soundtrack comprised of frenetic and freestyle jazz as well as some wholly original, voiced pop songs, with the framing device of both Daryl and rival pilot Io Flemming listening to music they have a deep connection with during fights, the juxtaposition of which is awe inspiring, tragic and sometimes even beautiful, in a haunting way. Not for the faint of heart but a must watch for people like me who prefer more grounded and brutal mech combat as well as a story both introspective of its themes and characters. I won't say much about Io Flemming because this is a positive post and, I'mma keep it real with you, I hate Io Flemming.

Gundam Thunderbolt: Bandit Flower - Now this is a very hard recommendation. December Sky is sold a lot on its narrative and thematic elements, whereas Bandit Flower throws basically all of that out for balls to the wall anime bullshit. Focus is given less on the characters or any overarching point but instead on showcasing all the cool new Gundams. I'd still recommend it however if only because it's focus entirely on spectacle and action means it's at the very least a fun, dumb watch, with admittedly a few standout story moments like the Zeon Remnants as characters and their fight in the Arctic.

War in the Pocket - Points immediately for maybe my favourite mobile suit in the entire franchise, the Hygogg, War in the Pocket is also in the War is Hell subcategory following the great war between the goodies and the baddies (I'm condensing here) through the eyes of a kid caught in the middle of it, with a LOT of time dedicated to more of the slice of life of your ordinary kid in the Universal Gundam universe, though what fights do occur onscreen are stellar. A mixed bag when it comes to recommending it since your patience has to be pretty high and, admittedly, I feel like Gundam is perfectly capable of delivering its message while not boring me. Still, it's 80's animation so even the boring bits are a joy to watch.

Deli Sandwiches - Okay, yes I know this sounds like I'm prescribing hearty sandwiches for depression and yes I kinda am but here me out: Corned beef. This is probably going to really emphasise just how much joy I can find in the little things but sat down, watching TV with corned beef, sauerkraut and melted swiss cheese all in one beautiful hoagie, it made me feel like life isn't all bad. I don't even LIKE cheese that's how good it was.

Street Fighter - So to preface this, Street Fighter is a series I've WANTED to get into for sometime. I remember vividly playing SF2 Turbo on my Gameboy Advance back when I was a kid and, when I was in my teens and wanting to actively get into fighting games, picking up SFV. This, right, was a mistake. Street Fighter unlike any other franchise I've played is not only not beginner friendly it's most diehard fans seem to want to keep it that way, so thank God for SF6. Even beyond all the praise I could give it for Modern Controls and it's ability to not only let me play the game, in a hype manner, online against real people and WIN but it's a visually gorgeous game, it's redesigns of classic characters are basically all straight up improvements and new characters (shoutouts especially to my mains, Manon, Marisa and A.K.I) all have a sense of identity and belonging within the SF universe, and that's not even mentioning the soundtrack. Go, immediately, listen to R.E.D, Zangief's theme, The Plunderer, JP's theme.

I titled this recommendation Street Fighter and not Street Fighter 6, because playing SF6, actually getting invested in the characters and feeling like I'm a part of this niche now, urged me to seek out more, which is why I'm also going to recommend the Udon comics which I've read enough issues of to give a give thumbs up as well as the 1994 anime movie, not heavy on plot but easily some of the most enjoyable martial arts fight choreography in anime.

The Yogpod - So this isn't really anything new to me, per se, but I hope it will be for you. I used to listen to the Yogpod, that is the Yogscast's podcast, a long while back, not when it first premiered but in time to listen as some of the middle to later episodes first came out. Lewis and Simon at their peak were, and I use this word specifically, effortlessly funny and had a genuine sense of camaraderie, with hour long conversations that devolve into tangent after tangent from a single talking point the way conversations with old friends do, and it's great to sit in on that not only for the laughs but, and this may sound sad, feeling like your there.

Now, I will add a few things:

This is specially the Yogpod, not Triforce. Ive5nit listened to Triforce as I'm nit familiar with its newer cast and while I have no doubt it probably is a good listen perhaps it's just my nostalgia but I have no urge to listen to it.

I have not kept up with the Yogscast as they are today at all, I'm not aware of their political leanings or any drama outside of the Sjin incident which, as far as I'm aware, they handled in the most sensible manner possible.

All that said, onto recommendations. Honestly the first episode where they call Sips in my mind is mandatory listening, it was a complete dumpster fire of a pilot and that's what makes it so genuinely hilarious. Others of note are I believe the 2nd or 3rd episode, 'Drugs and Zombies', all the Spooktacular/Spacktacular Halloween specials as well as their Simple Simon interview with Bill Bailey, if you like any of those really do give them a listen.

Horror movies - Now, I already have an alt account dedicated specially to horror media, horror as an interest is not at all new to me, I've been drawing monsters back when I was using crayons, it's always been my favourite genre and I'll try to keeo this brief or I'll be rambling for days. This year I decided to start buying physical and collectors editions/Blu Rays of horror movies which eventually spurred me into branching out and actually watching some new movies, and by new I mean at least 3 decades old, but new to me. Specifically I wanted to seek out absolute garbage, and while garbage I often found there was the occasional gem, and those are:

Motel Hell - Horror comedy starring Rory Calhoun as Farmer Vincent, known all around the USA for his smoked meats, you get where this is going. It is bizarre, it is somehow stranger than Texas Chainsaw, and like Texas Chainsaw 2 ALSO ends with a chainsaw dual between a sheriff and a pig-coded, skin-mask wearing cannibal.

Ghostwatch - NOT a trash movie but easily one of the most effective pieces of, at the time, interactive horror and ghost media, the less spoiled the better. It was produced by the BBC and starred a lot of 90's BBC alum with the framing of a Halloween ghost hunt that, at the time, aired live to the entire UK, this as I'm told was sorta like our War of the Worlds broadcast.

So, yeah, I hope this terrifying dive into the psyche of a man easily pleased by deli meat and giant robots/trashy horror movies/buff women has given you some ideas and maybe the perspective to look at the little things you enjoy in life and to keep on enjoying them, I'd genuinely like to hear any recommendations of your own, as I said I'm always looking for more to get into, hoping everyone has an easier time of next year and happy holidays to you all.

[burningthetree]

I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” “Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

[that-irishman-fan]

announcing a new series on this blog!

I'm absolutely delighted to tell all of you about a new series I've got cooking up on this blog; my first attempt at something of this scale. My original plan was to post this as one giant thing a week or so ago to cap off another Pride Month. But life is a bitch and got in my way so I couldn't get to it in time. So I've reworked it into something more condensed and to the point.

And that's to do a series on One Piece characters who give off bisexual energy to me.

I've curated thirty entries thus far--yes I have no life--either for an individual character or for a ship I'm particular to.

Please know that these are all headcanons and I am not saying these are canon whatsoever. Nor am I trying to invalidate or discount other groups in the LGBTQ+ community by saying these characters are bisexual. I am bisexual myself, so I can speak on my own experience on that. But I would never claim to know somebody else's life based on a label they choose to use. That said, please tell me if I step wrong in any way so I can remedy my mistakes. I want to learn, understand, and grow, instead of being close-minded or assuming I know everything.

This is all meant to be fun and lighthearted. I'd love to hear what you guys think about these picks. I'd like to know if you agree or disagree! Just as long as you aren't being homophobic, we won't have a problem! :)

Before we really launch this series, I want to give some context as to how One Piece affected my own identity, life, and bisexuality to really explain why I've poured so much time into these headcanons.

One Piece was always a fundamental cornerstone of my preteen, teenage, and new adult years. It gave a weird neurodivergent girl who never fit in a place to escape. Somewhere to feel at home and see myself in equally quirky characters. The Straw Hats were a family to me, the villains were fun to hate, and I just loved the wacky world Oda had and continues to build. I wouldn't be me without me. In retrospect, I believe it was this series that awoke my bisexuality. I'll be candid when I say acceptance and reconciliation of my sexuality is still a struggle. I come from a conservative religious upbringing, which means I wasn't ever to be open or honest with myself. One Piece was the missing link for what I think I'd always known deep down. It lit the fuse for me. So when I say One Piece made me who I am, I'm completely serious. This is what led me to create a little series about characters I feel a connection to. Who I read bi-ness in. Who I think could totally have been written as under the bisexual umbrella convincingly and well. Some of them are old flames whereas others I have a platonic respect for. Whatever the case, these are thirty One Piece characters I think give off bisexual energy.

For some, I won't necessarily have in depth reasoning for. Some I just relate to, love, and respect, and some could be more plausible than others. Again, these are all my own opinions, and I would never expect anybody to be obligated to agree with me. How much I'll discuss will depend on the character involved. There won't be any set routine since I still have a life outside of Tumblr I have to live, but I'll try to be as regular as I can.

Thank you so much for reading this and I look forward to getting to know some fellow One Piece fans! I can't wait to hear what you guys think!

[purplesurveys]

1809

Are you any good at packing a suitcase?:  Based from the time I packed for Thailand last year, I'd say I'm pretty good haha. But I feel like it's also because I'm pretty light when it comes to the things I need? I only need clothes, my laptop, and my chargers so it's never really caused a problem as far as me trying to make everything fit and not having the zippers struggle lol.

What are you hungry for right now, if anything?: Freedom, validation, and a new chapter.

Have you ever had a white hot chocolate? What did you think?: No but funny this is asked because I literally ordered a 'white mocha' for the first time earlier today when I stopped by a coffee shop. It ended up being okay but I still prefer caramel macchiato, hehe.

What will you be doing in twenty minutes from now? Probably taking another one of these. Feels like one of those nights where I'm feeling a lot of things and just need to cope by writing everything down.

Is there anybody in your house’s bathroom right now?: As far as I know, no. Mom's making dinner and my sister's in the living room watching TV.

Do you ever get eczema: Nope.

What’s your opinion on Miley Cyrus’ new look?: Which look are we talking about? Lol in any case I'm a fan of Miley in general. I love love love how unapologetically confident she is and I'm just rooting for her to be happy. I was really excited seeing her win her first Grammy this past week :)

Have you ever witnessed a serious physical fight?: Yeah like four years ago there was this drunken brawl that broke out at BGC and it turned awful pretty quickly that local police had to get involved. It was hilarious to watch.

How much does gas cost in your area?: Definitely not as high as it used to be, which is a relief. I don't know how much exactly but at least I've stopped needing to shell out anywhere above 500 for a few bars.

Are you a fidgety sort of person?: Not really but I've noticed that I've picked up a slight involuntary twitch whenever I'm in work calls. It bothers me a little bit.

What was the last thing you ordered at a restaurant?: I had a spamsilog (without the -log part because the cafe had been out of eggs lol) and the aforementioned iced white mocha.

Do you know how the politics of your country work?: Objectively, just very vaguely. But I know enough to recognize corruption.

How do you like to spend your alone time?: People-watching at a coffee shop. I did it again today, for the first time in a long long while and UGH I just feel so recharged. I love being on my own in cute and quaint little coffee shops so much.

Have you ever mowed a lawn?: I have not.

Is there anyone you would do literally anything for?: No.

On average, how many hours a day do you spend online?: Idk, all day? It's not so much a matter of addiction – it's more like, I kind of need to be online all the time because that's just how the world works now. Like I can choose to ignore my notifs but if I have a quick question about something then I immediately need to go online to Google it.

Have you ever done a “knock-and-run” prank?: Nope.

When was the last time you were yelled at? What had you done wrong?: Fortunately I don't experience getting yelled at a whole lot.

Do you enjoy corn on the cob?: It's fine but it's never something I crave.

Is there anything good on television at this very moment? Does Gyeongsong Creature count? The most recent season came out a month ago though and Season 3 isn't happening til a year or two from now.

What’s your mood like today?: Relaxed and recharged and calm and peaceful and grateful.

Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for someone underage?: No, I wouldn't ever do that.

If you haven’t, would you ever do so?: Nope.

Under what circumstances do you think it would be okay?: I have no idea.

Do you do your laundry regularly, or do you let it pile up?: Once a week, so I'd say it's regularly.

Did you ever play Habbo Hotel when you were younger?: I didn't, but I remember the ads – which is also why I never played it. The internet ads of the 2000s always looked like spam so I never bit into it, as attractive as the graphics looked haha.

What about Neopets?: I had it on my phone! But I only ever played an offline Neopets game. Mobile internet was pretty much nonexistent at the time so I never bothered doing online stuff with Neopets.

Have you ever had the privilege of sleeping in a waterbed?: Yeah my cousin's family owned one before. I remember being so amazed (and jealous) at how comfy it was.

Have you ever had to comfort a friend over the death of a loved one?: Kind of. I was on standby for Angela when her grandma passed away a few years ago just in case she needed me. For things like this, I typically keep my distance to allow the other person to grieve, but I keep a look out in case they need someone to talk to.

When did you last watch fireworks? Did you kiss someone underneath?: New Year's. No, I didn't. Just me and my 10+ glasses of wine that night lol.

In your opinion, what’s the ideal age to start having children?: Just for me personally, any time in the mid-20s range is ideal, but there shouldn't be any textbook answer for this. Just have kids when your timing is right for you.

Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back, intentionally or not?: NOPE. I experienced this thrice, never wanted to pass the shitty feeling off to a friend.

Do you have a last.fm account? If so, what’s your opinion of it?: I did at some point, but it was such a long time ago that I don't even remember what that website was about anymore.

Are you a seafood person?: Absolutely. I prefer seafood over meat for the most part.

Have you ever had to lick a ton of postage stamps and envelopes?: Never experienced that.

What’s the longest you’ve ever slept in one go?: I'm not sure. Might be somewhere between 12-14 hours.

Do you check the weather forecast everyday?: No. It's always going to be hot anyway.

How far away does your best friend live?: Around 20 minutes on a good day. 45 minutes if there's traffic.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?: Just coffee, as is usual.

Have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? Kind of. Her English was very Western-sounding; she sounded pretty much like an American.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever smelled?: Rotten rice or eggs.

How long does your phone last before needing to be charged?: Around 4-6 hours, depending on how much data I'm using.

Have you ever worked two jobs at once?: Nope.

Who does most of the housework around your house?: My mom.

How many glasses of water do you drink a day?: Maybe a total of around 2-3 glasses? Definitely not enough.

Documentaries: interesting or boring?: Can be either. It depends on what it's about because there are some topics that I'll really find boring, like if it's a docu about war strategies or guns or cars lol.

What brand is your desktop or laptop?: Apple.

Have you ever spoken badly about someone then realized they were behind you: As far as I know, no.

Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon?: Sure.

If you use Snapchat, have you ever had a screenshot taken of you?: I don't think so.

Who were you last in a car with and where were you going?: Just myself. I was on my way home after having come from a nearby café.

How old is your youngest cousin?:  From my first cousins, 11.

When was the last time you ate tacos?: I think a few months ago.

Does caffeine affect you, or not so much?: It improves my focus, so I always need it when I work.

Who was the last person you annoyed?: My mom.

What is your favorite flavor of cake?: Chocolate or red velvet.

Do you make your bed everyday?: Yup.