#i feel like i'm reaching out to a terrible ex which is completely not true but oenrndjqndnfnnfndnfkf shaking blood curdling ok now i throw m

[maraczeks]

+

[lovelykil]

「 Miss You 」

kyle x reader

cw; uhh drugs alcohol somewhat

I tapped on my phone scrolling through the various photos on my phone, me and Stan, some with Kenny, and a few with Eric though those are just him stealing my phone flipping the camera off. I rolled my eyes scrolling once more till I reached a special picture.

It was me and her, Y/n. She was kissing my cheek in the photo as I scrolled through more it was more of her and I fooling around or having a lovey dovey moment on frame.

I couldn't help but smile faintly, I missed her. But then the realization came in to that very night.

That night where we had an argument to which she then broke things off with me saying she didn't love me at all and wasn't ready yet. She sounded so confused and scared.

Was those moments nothing to her? Her sweet kisses, lies? Her words of endearment were foolery? I could feel hot tears stinging my eyes as I laid on my side.

I had fallen to deep into her affection now it felt like a sword to my heart if I ever thought of her. I know I shouldn't miss her I should be mad, furious even why would she decide to be with me just for everything to be a lie?

I felt little anger towards her, just lingering feelings.

As I wiped my face to stop tears from swelling my eyes my phone vibrated, an incoming call was awaiting to be answered. Once I saw the contact name my heart dropped.

Hello?

I'm so sorry, ky.

Her voice whispered through the phone into my ear, my eyes widen I felt my heart drop for a second before responding.

Y/n..

You probably hate me but, I miss you. Getting high off my mind and drinking to help me get over what I'm going through isn't the best solution. You weren't the problem Kyle I was. That night was rough and I apologize for what I said and did ending things with you

was the worst decision of my life I feel like I lost myself. Without you I feel like shit, it's hard to explain what I felt like when I was with you but I would do anything to have it back, that's if you still want it.. if not then I completely understand.. I just think I may be inlove with you.

You held your phone to your ear, pouring out your feelings to your ex lover, meaning every word hoping he would understand. It was true you were in such a low point in your life when you were with Kyle. Sure everything felt so good around him almost like a drug everytime you were with him you felt at ease, and calm.

But you always wanted more, you were afraid of getting too attached to him and him suddenly disappearing like your other failed relationships, you got inside your head too much causing you to always lift that bottle or light that joint to make all your problems go away.

And after that fight you simply had enough, you pushed him crying out profanities towards his beautiful conflicted face, as he kept asking what was wrong.

The problem was you didn't want to give your heart to him, you were to afraid of what was to come next. But you couldn't tell him that.. so you lied.

You waited patiently on the other side of the line for Kyle to answer back, the world felt so quiet in just matters of seconds its like the whole world went silent the only thing you heard was your breath, you exhaled slowly almost panicking, anxiously waiting for his answer.

I missed you too, I'm glad you are okay.. we should talk more about this in person though. I-.. I really do love you Y/n.

Kyle felt his chest let loose as he responded, he could feel his body relax after her confession, she was okay.. they were going to okay. And that's all he wanted. They both made a date to when they would meet to talk more and soon hung up.

You laid on your bed, surrounded by a cluttered bedroom. Empty bottles were scattered across the blankets, showing evidence of past indulgence, half-empty plastic bags, containing various substances sat on your nightstand awaiting their purpose. The room held a sense of chaos and neglect, a reflection of a terrible state of mind.

You sighed of relief, feeling yourself finally starting to come to acceptance. He was the one, Kyle was always going to be there for you he was your prince, savior, he was everything, you couldn't help but start to cry.

He must've felt so shattered after you ending things off and the fact he loved you after.

You couldn't wait to hug him after all the damage you caused for the both of you.

[stray-kids-react]

Their friends don't like you

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Would want to keep his relationships and friendships separate for this reason alone, he knew you and Bam Bam wouldn't see eye to eye and didn't want to choose either of you over the other.

° You kept your mouth shut about your dislike for Chan's friend for his own sake. You didn't want to ruin a close friendship he had, but Bam Bam on the other hand would constantly ask why Chan likes you.

° Chan got a bit annoyed with his friend due to how petty it was coming off after a while. You could say hi to him and Bam Bam would find something off about it, which made Chan more and more frustrated.

° You didn't say anything bad about Bam Bam, and Chan saw how much of the bigger person you were being. He didn't want to see you being picked on constantly, even if it was by his close friend.

° The last straw was when Bam Bam tried to hook him up with someone else behind your back, all of his frustrations built up inside him and his temper went through the roof. He officially had enough.

"Chan I want you to meet-"

"Stop! I'm sorry to whoever you are you seem very nice. But I'm in love with Y/n and they never say a bad thing about you, yet you hate on them constantly. If you don't apologize for everything, we're done."

Lee Know

° In all honesty, it took a while for you and Minho to like each other. You had a Tom and Jerry relationship for years, until you finally let him see past the wall you always build up. He's the only one who ever saw the true you.

° This is why the members didn't get what Minho saw in you, and everytime he said 'you don't see who they truly are.' they thought it was just an excuse to make you seem more likeable.

° Most of the members gave you a chance, but one was very hesitant to. Jisung didn't trust you, and did not want to see Minho get hurt at all. This is why he refused to give you one more chance after an incident.

° You opened up to the other members, apologizing for your behavior. You explained you had a terrible day that day and became very crusty, they accepted it and welcomed you with open arms. Except for Jisung.

° This awkward relationship with Jisung went on for months, even when you tried to reach out to him. Other members would even comment on how nice you truly were, but he just couldn't trust you.

"Maybe I should try talking to Jisung once more."

"No it's useless, he apparently just doesn't want me to be happy."

Changbin

° Thought your double date with Wooyoung and r/n went great, that is until Wooyoung texted him at midnight telling him how much of a let down you were. Even if it was in a joking manner, it genuinely hurt.

° He saw how happy you were to make a new 'friend', and couldn't dissolve that beautiful smile just because the reality of it was false. Wooyoung thought you were a bore, while you thought he was amazing.

° Changbin would distance himself slowly from Wooyoung, not appreciating the way he describes you. He didn't want him to come over and say those terrible words in your presence, it would break your heart.

° But Wooyoung noticed his friends absence, and decided to head over to your shared apartment where you two were cuddling while watching spirited away. Changbin's heart immediately sank.

° Wooyoung took Changbin aside to talk, and you could hear every words thanks to thin walls and their loud voices. You truly saw Wooyoung as a friend, and it hurt to hear how he felt about you.

"How can you date someone who is so boring, you can do so much better."

"I'm starting to think I could get some much better friends instead."

Hyunjin

° His best friend has a humongous crush on him for years, and thought she could finally get him. Until you came along and stole his heart, this caused fury to infect her bloodstream and needs of destroying you.

° Hyunjin was friends with her, but never saw her as a best friend and had much closer friendships. All of the closer friends adored you, you even became best friends with Seungmin after one hang out.

° This is why it came off much more suspicious to Hyunjin when she all of a sudden accused you of beating her up the day prior. Hyunjin knew you wouldn't hurt a fly, so why was she lying to him?

° He was about to ask why, when you opened the door to the Stray Kids dorms. She noticed your entrance and launched herself onto Hyunjin. He pushed her off and wiped his lips profusely.

° Now knowing the reason behind her lies, he demanded her to leave. Not giving a single care about their now ruined friendship. His tone was harsh and furious, clearly unimpressed with her actions.

"But Jinnie, you know you love me more. Y/n doesn't deserve you."

"I never liked you like that, now leave before I make you."

Han

° You didn't know how loyal Jisung was to his friends until you hung around them, he'd sometimes completely ditch you just to hang out with them. This made you feel irritated naturally.

° When you snapped at Felix, all of them looked at you with an unimpressed face. Your own boyfriend clueless as to why you snapped at his friend who kept stealing him from you.

° The drive home with Jisung was silent, tension filling the empty car. You had a suspicion that your relationship was on its last string and you just ran at it with scissors, this terrified you.

° Once you walked into your apartment and sat on the couch, you braced yourself for the words that were about to leave Jisung's lips. Knowing they were going to be the last ones from his that you'll ever hear.

° He stood at the door way with a sad look in his eyes, explaining to you that it isn't your fault it is his. Before expressing many apologies, just to end with 'we're over'. Just like that, he gave up on your relationship.

"Just say it Jisung, just get it over with."

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm breaking up with you."

Felix

° You were visiting Felix's family for the holidays, getting to know his friends and family. One of his childhood friends gave you bad vibes, constantly catching his eyes on you even though you were Felix's.

° You tried to ignore his antics for a couple days, but then he tried to get physical. He pinched your hum while waiting in line. Causing you to yelp and jump away from the creepy man claiming to be Felix's friend.

° The same night you asked Felix about the man, finding out Felix didn't even consider him a friend. Only ever sharing a couple of classes with him, he soon followed up with the question you dreaded "why?".

° The moment you explained the events, you were embraced into your boyfriend's safe arms. Sighing in discomfort as he scowled at nothing, wishing that nothing was the man who made you uncomfortable.

° the next day the man tried to visit you at your hotel room, only to be answered by Felix who immediately turned sour the moment he saw him. Before the man could speak, Felix flipped him off and shut the door.

"Babe who was it?"

"No one important, just some weirdo."

Seungmin

° You shared the same classes with Jeongin all throughout your school years. And both of you despised each other, a competition always brewing between the two of you no matter the subject.

° You hoped to never see his face again after you graduated, but your hopes were crushed when your boyfriend Seungmin introduced you to his best friend... Yang Jeongin. Both of you just stood there in complete shock.

° Seungmin thought their was a history with you two, assuming it was romantically since neither of you ever mentioned each other to him. You could cut the tension with a butter knife, which made Seungmin feel hurt.

° He pulled you aside and asked you if you and Jeongin dated in the past, making you silently gag in your mouth at the thought. Sure you had a crush on him in middle school, but it ended quickly after.

° Jeongin overheard the conversation, jumping out from the corner with a very disgusted face. Letting out small ew noises at the thought of you two dating. Seungmin was half ways relieved at the truth.

"Ew Ew Ew, why would you think that? *shivers*."

"I thought the tension was romantically not from high school feuding."

Jeongin

° Your ex Hyunjin was Jeongin's best friend, which made for a very awkward meeting when Jeongin had no clue about your dating history. Both you and Hyunjin cheated on each other, and never really buried the hatchet.

° Both you and Hyunjin tired to stay calm and act normal for Jeongin's sake. But it was clear just how awkward and uncomfortable the two of you seemed to be, especially since neither of you talked to each other.

° Hyunjin was worried you'd break his friend's heart while you were worried Hyunjin would just drag Jeongin into trouble and cause some serious trust issues. Neither of you trusting each other one bit.

° Jeongin say both of you down after an hour of awkward silence, demanding one of you to tell the truth on why you are acting so odd around one another. Slightly concerned for the possibility of a blossoming crush.

° both you and Hyunjin revealed your sides of the story to Jeongin, your heart cracking slightly at the hurt look in his eyes. He wasn't going to leave either of you, but it did hurt knowing you both hid this from him.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

Characters © Frederator/Cartoon Network and so forth. Story ©2020 to me! All rights reserved.

This little fic was commissioned by MorbidHero. Enjoy! I'm not a superfan but I hope I still did the fandom justice, more or less. Even though there are no bacon pancakes or appearances from Billy.

Orono Or DIE.

The sign was unique enough to attract attention. That was probably the idea. Still, the girl with the long, black hair and the red-and-blue striped sweater seemed a little surprised when a car pulled over on the long, lonely stretch of Highway 95. Her eyes narrowed to slits as headlights attempted to blast the pupils wide, and she shadowed them with a pale hand.

"Hello!" cried a voice that sounded like a music box. "Are you in need of aid?"

"Uhhhh…" The squinting eyes shifted. "There a person in there?"

"Of course! I am a person! Please, it's too cold to be out here alone!"

The stranger approached the passenger window, bending down to look inside. By the light of the dash screen, she saw a rosy complexion and bright pink hair to match. The girl's round face held the sweetest, most angelic smile she had ever seen.

"I… whoa."

"Yes?"

"N-nothing. You're really gonna give me a lift? I could be an axe murderer."

The driver's eyebrows raised. "Are you an axe murderer?"

"Sorta." She opened her black guitar case, covered in stickers from all manner of bands and destinations, to display a red bass that actually was shaped like an axe, a snarky half-smile displaying some prominent canines. "I slay on this thing alllll the time."

"Oooh! A wandering minstrel! Prithee, do not tarry thither, but let us away in mine chariot!"

"I… huh?"

Cheeks turning a bit rosier, she whispered, "Just get in the car."

With her bass, cardboard sign, and knapsack stashed in the cramped back seat, the two pulled away from the shoulder and back onto the near-deserted highway. There reigned silence for a moment or two until the driver decided to attempt pleasant conversation.

"What's your name, minstrel?"

"Not Minstrel. Marcy. Or Marce, Marceline, Nightmarce… Elvira, if you're everybody in my high school."

"That sounds very unkind, and I am not from your high school so I will not do that." She smiled over at her. "I'm Bonnibel, or Bonnie."

"Cool. This, uh… this car seems weird."

"Oh!" she piped up animatedly. "It is a hybrid, but I have converted the combustion engine to run on used peanut oil."

"Is that why I have a craving for a PB&J out of nowhere?!"

Bonnie laughed, and Marcy wore a smile of her own. That was bizarre; why would she smile at some stranger who just picked her up to give her a lift? "Perhaps! It is also why I will eventually have to visit a Five Guys restaurant to refuel."

Chuckling quietly, Marcy fought down a groan as she struggled out of her black leather boots and propped her feet up on the dash. "Sorry, but I've been walking for hours. Nobody else would pick me up, except for this creepy trucker who would probably have murdered me. With my own axe."

"It is alright! I can't blame you, that sounds like a terrible day. How did you end up out here all by yourself? With no car?"

"Ash, ugh."

"Gesundheit?"

Rolling her eyes, Marcy explained, "No, Ash is my ex. Also the lead guitarist of our band, Vampire Queen. But like, he's been impossible since we broke up, and he threw his guitar at my head during our last show. I told him I wasn't riding in the van with him anymore and they took off without me. Jerkfaces."

Bonnie's expression was completely thunderstruck. She reached over to pat Marceline's thigh. "That is just unacceptable, you could have been hurt!"

"Uh… yeah?" She thought that was obvious. And the sudden physical contact made her squirm.

"No, I mean you should remove him from the band. He is clearly dangerous and you have every right to feel safe on the stage."

"Oh. Well… it's not that easy. He writes half our songs, and he's no great singer but he does know all the guitar parts already. But… I guess he's more replaceable than Fionna or Jake."

"You should send him to prison. Or castrate him," she added, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Which is what finally made Marceline realize neither of her hands were on the wheel. She sat up quick and shouted, "HEY, we're gonna crash! Are you insane?!"

"Hm?" Glancing ahead, she calmly stated, "No we aren't, we're driving perfectly straight. And there are no other cars."

"Well… yeah, but…" She watched their course correct very slightly, still glancing at Bonnie's hands. "Oh, is this one of those self-driving things?"

"Yes! Oh, I see; you thought I was neglecting the wheel." The pink-haired oddity giggled as if Marcy were the weird one.

"Do you just pick up random strangers and scare them to death? Messed up hobby, girl. I can respect it though."

At that, Bonnie's smile lessened as she stared ahead again. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget that not everyone has access to the technology I do. I didn't mean to cause you any undue strife."

"Not everybody swallows a dictionary for breakfast, either." When that wiped the smile away entirely, the rocker turned to look out the passenger window as she tightened her arms around her stomach. "Nah… I'm sorry, I'm a bitch."

The car was silent for a few seconds. "You aren't. I just don't spend a lot of time with other people. When I do, they tell me I am awkward."

"Yeah? Agoraphobic or something?" She paused. "Yeah, I know some big words, too."

"I never said you didn't. But no, that isn't the problem. I'm a workaholic. Even when I'm not in my lab, I'm still focused on inventing or revising previous inventions. I like speaking with people, but there never seems to be any time…"

"Dude, nerdslut. Got it."

"WHAT?!"

The outburst was harsher than Marce expected. "Sorry," she muttered, head ducking lower. "I didn't-"

"I'm not a slut! I'm…" Her cheeks began to glow. "I've never even been on a date."

"I was kidding, man. I didn't really mean…" Her fingers ran through her fringe. "Look, you told me you don't get out much. So I'll do my best not to tease you like I normally would, but no promises. I'm pretty edgy." She even threw up devil horns to add to the effect.

"You're teasing. Yes, I understand." The bubbly girl sighed and relaxed, smiling again. Apparently, it was that easy.

"What do you do for a living, anyway? All the inventing…"

"Oh! Have you heard of PeebleCo?"

A brief pause. "If I say 'no', does that mean I'm dumb?"

"It's alright. I am the president and CEO. Though the board members make most of the day-to-day decisions, they consult with me before making any large changes. And I am also the head of the R&D department."

"Whoa. And you're what, like, eighteen?"

"Nineteen."

"Excuse me," she snickered. "But yeah, that's pretty young to have your whole future figured out. I'm still kind of drifting through life in the shadows."

Bonnie shrugged as she pulled off the highway. "It is okay. I know I am strange, and that most people have to take some time to find their true destiny."

"Where… are we going?"

"To this hotel! I have been driving all day."

"Oh. Guess this is where I get off, then."

"It is if you want. Or you are welcome to share my hotel room and I will continue to ferry you to your destination in the morning."

Marceline raised an eyebrow as she watched Bonnie smoothly guide the car into a parking spot — having to use her hands this time, of course. "Are you totally insane, or just the nicest person on the planet?"

"Does it have to be one or the other?" she asked with a huge grin. And yet again, Marcy found she was grinning back.

                                                      ~ o ~

Once they had brought their bags inside, the hitchhiker plopped herself on the bed and kicked off her boots again. Then she started tuning her bass. Bonnie started unpacking her little pink rolling suitcase immediately, though she cast a casual glance over at her guest now and then.

"What? Am I bugging you?"

"Not at all. I have just never seen someone play a guitar in person before."

"Never?!" When the inventor shook her head, Marceline chuckled softly. "Damn, you really don't ever crawl out from under that rock to see what the sun looks like. Not that I do, either."

"It's because I'm working," she protested with a slight pout. "Not because I don't want to meet people. I love people!"

"Oh yeah, me too. They're delicious."

Bonnie cackled as she plugged her BMO's charger into the wall. At least she got that joke. "You're so funny and cool! I wish I was like you."

"No you don't, trust me. I'm kind of a cunt."

"Are you? Well, I think that's still preferable to being boring. I might have an important job but as a person, I am… vanilla pudding."

"Yeah? Well I mean, vanilla pudding can be pretty good. Add a little red food coloring to make people think you're eating ketchup? I like red things, they look more badass."

"Vanilla is not interesting," she sighed as she seated herself on the other twin bed, pulling off her Uggs. Marceline tried not to pay too much attention to how her white leggings hugged her shapely calves and thighs. "Being a vanilla pudding when there are so many chocolate puddings around me… that is why I focus on my work."

The hitchhiker thought that over as she played a couple of notes, a few chords she used in their sets. The hook from "Smoke On The Water", then the bassline from "The Chain".

"I think you're cool, Bonbon."

"You do?" she asked in pure shock. Marcy looked up — and immediately averted her eyes when she saw her company was wearing only her underwear.

"WHOA, hey, warn a girl or something!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she hissed, arms trying to hide parts of her body pointlessly. "The other girls in gym class never cared!"

Pale cheeks flooding with color, the rocker cleared her throat and studied the carpet, watching pale pink toes curl nervously into the fibers. "Gym, yeah. Um… I'm sorry, that was stupid. Me flipping out. If you're cool with stripping down in front of me, like… it's your hotel room…"

"No, you are right, it was my mistake. We have only just met today. And I am decent." When Marceline chanced another glance, she saw a long pink nightgown covering Bonnie from neck to ankle. She was also wearing an embarrassed little smile that was more adorable than it had any right to be.

"You're definitely decent."

"Jingo-jango!"

"Gesundheit?" she re-joked with a slight smirk.

"Free candy!" She practically pounced on the little mint laying on her pillow, unwrapping it and devouring it in mere seconds. "Mmmmhhh… oh, divine!"

The moans of pleasure definitely made Marcy have to clear her throat again. Desire was stirring within her in a way that blindsided her; Bonnie was a girl. One she had met literally that day! Was she losing it?! Sure, she had always known she liked girls as much as boys, but she had never really been serious about one.

"Marcy?"

"SHIT!" she gasped out when she saw those beautiful features only a couple of inches away from her own. It seemed Bonnie's concern had brought her over to the other bed. "I… what? I'm fine, you can go back to getting ready for bed or whatever."

"You are flushed. What if you have a fever, from being out in the cold too long?"

Then the bouncy inventor touched their foreheads together, to check her temperature. Marceline knew that was the reason… yet she still felt her heart speed up, her sweat glands stirring to life.

But she was no shrinking violet. Anti-social, sure, and inexperienced hitting on girls versus guys. But she figured she might as well give it a shot and see what happened.

"You give me fever," she began to sing in a smoky voice. Bonnie's concerned eyes shot wide. "Fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight."

A tiny whispered "What?" fell from small pink lips. And not even the oblivious shut-in could miss the rock star's meaning. "Me?"

After they held each other's gaze for a few more seconds, Marceline burst out with a chuckle and looked away, strumming her bass. "Couldn't resist. You're such a cute little marshmallow, it's too easy."

And that was that. Or so she thought. After she had played a few more notes and glanced up again, expecting that Bonnie would have rushed off to the bathroom by now, she saw she was being studied carefully.

"Sorry. Told you I'm a bitch."

"Why are you sorry? If you meant it… which you did…"

"Who says I did?" she grunted. "Hey-"

"I do," Bonnie told her in even tones as she finished pulling the guitar strap from around Marceline's neck. How could this awkward bean be so bold all of a sudden?! "You are blushing like I am blushing. That means you meant it, doesn't it?"

"No. It means… maybe I was out in the cold too long. Whatever."

Sighing like a patient teacher facing an obstinate student, Bonnie leaned over and took her lips gently. And poor Marcy felt her brain short-circuiting. This girl was going for it! How?! This girl?! Even more shameful was that it took three or four seconds for her to pull back from the kiss, panting and clutching at the bedspread.

"WHAT THE WHAT?!"

"Oh wow," Bonnibel whispered, reaching up to touch her own bottom lip with delicate fingers. "I did that."

"Yeah? Like, what, you're surprised you kissed somebody? That's fucking weird!"

"I am. I have never done it before, I didn't think it would be so easy. But I wasn't afraid like I expected to be, and I enjoyed the feeling."

One single fact kept Marcy from harping on about how bold of an assumption it was to kiss her out of nowhere. "Whoa, hold up. I'm really your first?"

"Yes," she breathed, cheeks warming to match Marceline's as she fidgeted with her fingers.

"That… amazing one you just planted on me was your first kiss?!"

Bonnie raised her eyebrows at her. "Oh, it was good?"

"Dude, I'm practically at full sail down here already!" When the hapless girl didn't seem to have any idea what she meant by that, she clarified, "Yes, it was good!"

"Oh. Then it was a successful experiment! Hooray!" Marceline just gaped at her open-mouthed. "We should do more experiments, I think."

"Yeah? What, you think I'm that easy?" she scoffed, trying to focus on reaching for her bass instead of blushing scarlet. But she barely touched the neck before firm hands were pinning her to the bed. "HEY!"

"You will assist me," the girl she had once mistaken for a marshmallow ordered her with a sly smirk.

Marceline finally understood that she had been hoodwinked. Well, not really; she believed this girl had no experience, but she had made the erroneous assumption that also meant she would be timid. Nope.

"I will? That's pretty interesting, I thought I got to decide that part."

"You do. But I already know you will decide to help me." Her hips started shifting on top of Marceline's, eyes briefly falling shut. "Mmm… mm?"

The rocker looked away, waiting for the backlash. Bracing to be shouted at, or called any number of names. She had been down that road before — most recently with Ash, who had no problem doing that to her but only when he was angry.

"You're a transgender person."

Stunned by the bluntness of the phrasing, she finally looked up to see nothing but surprise in Bonnie's features. No judgment, no disgust. "Um… yeah. Well, we prefer just 'trans'."

"Oh! 'Justrans' then." She shifted a few more times, prompting a little groan from both of them. "This will certainly make the experiment easier; I already know how to work with one of these from anatomy class."

Marcy knew she wasn't trying to be cruel. She could tell. But she still hissed up at her, "Can you like, not act like I'm some kind of sex slave robot? There's a real person with a real blackened soul down here."

With a little gasp, she covered her mouth. "Bloobalooby! I'm sorry, you're right." Her hips rolled again, sending a wave of heat down into the rocker from their point of contact, blinding her with pleasure. "Do you consent to experimenting with me sexually, and taking my virginity?"

Marceline could only sputter. And she almost told her 'no' simply because she was so shocked at the entire situation. But it was beginning to feel way too good. Why? Why did she want to?

"Sure. If you really don't care that I'm some problem you picked up off the side of the road."

"You are perfect." For just a second, Marcy felt a flutter in her stomach from such praise. Then Bonnie elaborated, "I'm comfortable with you, and I can tell that you are an adequate size to give me a wonderful first experience."

"Oh. That kind of 'perfect'. Right."

Genuinely puzzled, she tilted her head and asked, "What other kind is there?"

Instead of answering, Marceline pulled her down for a heated kiss. They kept that up while rolling around on the bed, running their fingers through each other's hair, humming into the contact. By the time they came up for air, she realized her sweater had disappeared.

"Can I see you?"

"Oh, is that going to help with the experiment?" Bonnie lowered her voice. "Am I… sexy?"

"Well, duh," she laughed as she dropped her jeans. But she fell speechless when she saw the shapely pink body coming into view. "I'm… yep. Definitely stand by my statement."

"I think you are sexy as well." But she was saying it shyly, as if stating a secret, rather than in a flirty way. This girl really didn't understand human sexuality but she was trying her best.

Weird but cute. And her face was glowing red like a stoplight… and Marceline liked red things.

They fell into each other with eagerness, kissing all over faces and necks as their bodies combined. Bonnibel was so soft inside, and her skin smelled like flowers. The little gasps and mewlings at the foreign sensations only made Marcy throb harder, willed her hips to begin moving.

Minutes later, she broke yet another kiss to whisper urgently, "I'm… I'm gonna finish, I d-don't have… a condom…"

"I'm on birth control, to regulate my cycle. I will not become pregnant." But she was biting her lip. The sensations had changed how she reacted. "Will you…? Please?"

She would. Moans fell freely from both of them as their bodies shifted faster and faster, until the dam burst and Marceline felt both their bodies convulsing with the proof of their pleasure. It was an instant, it was an eternity. It was everything.

As they lay curled up together, silence reigned for a few minutes. Experiment complete. Neither of the new quite what to say. Until finally Bonnie whispered, "You sang."

"Huh?"

"When you ejaculated. It was like singing." She closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips as her hand drifted up to cover her own heart. "It was so sweet…"

Marceline scoffed, resisting the temptation to roll over and away to protect her own feelings. "N-no way. I don't do 'sweet', you're loopy. Literally fucked your brains out."

"No, my brains are still intact," she teased with a light chuckle as she began to draw little circles on Marcy's pale shoulder. "And you sang. And I am very, very satisfied with your 'axe'."

That prompted a gleeful giggle from both women. "Told you. I slay all day, Bonnie-bae."

                                                      THE END

[specialchan]

How I'm integrated dread into my novel. (TW// Mental Illness) via /r/writing

How I'm integrated dread into my novel. (TW// Mental Illness)

(This is essentially a repost from r/local58 and a thread on MotherForever.net, two places that this novel takes direct inspirations from)

I've always been a believer that other people aren't responsible for your triggers, but then again, I don't do much that could trigger anyone. What I want to discuss tonight does feature things I personally believe warrant a trigger warning. Read at your own will.

If you are currently in a bad place mentally, I heavily encourage you to NOT READ this thread.

As you may or may not know, I'm actively working on a novel inspired by Local58 and EarthBound, named Our Nearest Neighbor; A story about how the moon came alive. The novel has general darker tones than most teen-sci-fi stories (Ex. Stranger Things), and so I decided to search for inspiration; I needed a reference for pure, unadulterated dread and mental suffering.

I told my IRL friend about the project, and he directed me to an album. An artist's collective work over 25 years, condensed into a 6-hour listening session.The project is called Everywhere at the End of Time. It is described as "'Everywhere at the end of time' was a series exploring dementia, its advancement, and its totality. Audio remembered, disfigured and forgotten by The Caretaker. Artwork on all stages by Ivan Seal."

The work is an audio recreation of the long and painful process of someone losing their mind through Dementia, and mental illnesses like Alzheimer's and general memory loss.

Here's my experience, having listened through the 6 hour album compilation. My mistake was completely immersing myself, in a dark room with headphones at max volume at night.

The 6 hour session starts of in an eerily sounding manner. They're regular old vinyl recordings of old records and music, with the only introduced distortion is the natural wobbling of an old Vinyl record. For the most part, it was just some regular ambient music, with the only unsettling factor being that it just sounds old and creepy.

Quickly, things started to go downhill. The project moves in Stages, each one worse than the last, with momentary bliss and relief, followed immediately after by a stage worse than anything before it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the music deteriorated. It wasn't some regular warping or pitch shifting, it was intricate distortion that resembled the outside world being less and less tangible from within your head. It was mortifying, it felt like I was losing my own mind.

Large portions sound like horror ambience, just creaking and noises that make you feel nothing but dread and eternal fear. It's not just faded music, it's your brain failing to interpret music, sounds, patterns in any way. You're losing your mind.

I'm gonna skip a large majority of the experience, and rather focus on the afterthought.

Near the end of the compilation, the music is almost inaudible. It feels like a hollow room with the vague concept of what music was being the only thing left in your mind. The mental battle you've been fighting in your head is finally with you. Your mind has been killing you, and it's finally leaving. But, it's taking it with you.

This... is a mere re-accounting. I condensed it severely just to cover the more significant segments.I can't explain the dread I felt that night. Listening to the album brought me to tears, as it does with many people. It feels like dying. It feels like you're dying. It feels like your brain is rotting from within, taking you with it. I've never felt a more powerful, self-inflicted psychological torture in my life. It broke me like no story, no movie, no song, no album, no experience ever has.

That night, i trembled in bed. I felt my chest ache, my heart felt hollow and the tension of its muscles pulled everything, every organ and every vein in my body tight. Reality felt fake, i would touch the blankets on my bed, the plastic on my water bottle, the glass screen on my phone to almost no sensual response. I felt numbed, in a way i cannot describe. It was out of raw fear, terror, dread. I had to turn on all the lights and start playing my regular music, music i play while skating or hanging out with my friends. Music that reminded me of my girlfriend, music that reminded me of my parents and my cousins and my brother. Honestly, it was a mistake. Trying to bring myself back with music i liked just introduced a terrible experience to associate them all with. I can't listen to the songs i played that night without thinking back, feeling the tearducts in my eyes pulse and my throat tighten.

If you want to check it out for yourself, please be cautious. If you put yourself in the proper mindset to immerse yourself in the story the project wants to tell, it will get you. Contact your loved ones, your friends, anyone you feel happy talking to BEFORE and AFTER listening. If you are in a bad place mentally, avoid this experience. I know, for a fact, if I was in the spot mentally that I was only a few months ago, I don't know I would've made it to sunrise.

It's not that the experience was bad, infact, it was a beautiful, eye opening experience that I wouldn't take back. It changed my perspective on the mind, consciousness and mental stability/disorders.

So then, how does this tie into Our Nearest Neighbor? Spoilers if you're interested in reading the story upon completionThe aliens that came from an alternate reality, one where the galaxy is densely populated with life, has felt a disturbance from where Earth is located relative to their own world. They travel to Earth, determining that the harmful radiation we accidentally emit (radio and organic radiation and frequencies that humans can handle, but these alien species cannot) is a subject of justified intervention. These aliens have advanced technologies that are able to transmit large messages if needed. However, we do not have compatible technology, and so their pleas, warnings, and messages come in the form of strong power surges. Within these transmissions lie a subliminal message, in familiar terms. They're encrypted symbols, visuals and sounds that completely ruin the part of the brain that identifies human faces, voices, gestures and body language, as well as tying that newly ruined part of the brain to the section that identifies threats. In turn, associating these strange figures that replace all humans and instead identifies them as a fight or flight response. Their intention is to ruin everyone's perception of each other, essentially starting a war among humanity, between themselves. These failed transmissions are taken as "being ignored", and so they proceed onto their next phase; use the moon as a satellite. An organic satellite that will radiate the mind-ruining transmissions that failed to reach Earth in the first place, due to the incompatibility with technology.

When sending the first few transmissions to Earth, they noticed a spot of significantly strong reception, and decide to focus their efforts on that small county, hoping to spread outwards like a virus.

One of the main characters, Matt, is a victim to a direct attack from this alien race. One of the first successful transmissions directed towards the small town is received at Matt's house, where his single father falls to the transmission. His mind is ruined, and he sees his own son as a threat, pulling his gun and shooting shakily at Matt. Matt escapes and runs away, but Matt's father doesn't end up so lucky. He goes searching for answers, checking the bathroom and met by a mirror reflecting his own face back at him. He doesn't see himself, however, but a foreign threat. He first shoots at the mirror before seeing it doesn't leave, so he shoots behind him, where it should be relative to the reflection. His shaky hands end up pointing the rapidly recoiling handgun towards himself, ending the threat he saw.

Matt is understandably torn by this. Once the set of protagonists find out the alien's intentions, he feels hopeless. He decides to take his own life one night, while living temporarily with one of the other protagonists. His attempt works, technically, as he wakes up on the roof of the house. He's greeted by the moon, which takes him. Matt is then used as a blueprint for the human brain, and the aliens use it to develop a functioning transmission that would simultaneously ruin everyone's minds.

The aliens form an inside-out womb of the moon, using Matt as a brain/host, while the moon develops and comes to life. This is where The Caretaker's project comes into play.

As Matt goes from an aware human being in captivation, with his brain tapped into and being scanned and worked with, his perception of the world around him fades away. It's best represented as the 6 Phases of The Caretaker's project. He goes from being fully conscious, to slowly having his mind lose touch of his body, until all his brain is silence and emptiness. His brain, his body, his mind, and his spirit become one with the moon, In all her pale, white glory.

Matt becomes a culmination of spirit, and begins to communicate with his friends back on earth solely with his mind. He tells them their plan to activate the moon on Halloween Night, on the full moon of the month.

However, we don't hear much of Matt throughout the story, especially when he's taken. He's missing for a while, and the reader has that belief too. As dreadful of an experience we end up realizing Matt has lived through, the true representation of dread, fear, and pain come when the rest of the protagonists travel to the moon.

On the day of retribution, the protagonists meet up, locking themselves in a room within a radio station, sat before a large CRT Television, aka the alien's main means of communication thus far. Matt focuses a transmission for them, one that is able to extract the soul and spirit from their bodies. They leave their mortal vessels on earth, as they are transported to the surface of the moon.

Once their, they realize they have not completely lost touch of their mortal selves. They can still vaguely feel their senses in their culminations of light and soul. They can feel themselves dying, as the blood in their body slows, their heartbeat ceases, and their limbs become numb. They're painfully cold, as the warm blood inside them starts to slow, and cool down. The lack of oxygen starts to form blur in their eyes, with floaters slowly obscuring their vision. The hissing of silence starts to fill their ears, until every sense in their bodies is completely gone. Once they feel like they've died, they're transported to the womb. They're presented to Matt, who communicated mentally with them. Their footsteps feel like jolts of numb electricity shocking their legs and pulsing up into their heads with a throbbing pound.

The aliens made a fatal mistake to their plan; choosing a child, let alone a currently mentally unstable child as their blueprint of the mankind. Matt still has enough willpower to communicate with his friends, who miraculously manage to refrain him from obliging to the aliens plan. The transmission is sent out, but fails. Matt is killed as his energy is drained with the transmission. Realizing they have failed, the aliens retreat. Without Matt keeping their spirits intact on the moon, the protagonists dissipate into the void of space. Their souls are lost, and they have all died. The moon begins to pool with blood as the organic matter starts to burst and rot, permanently tainting the moon red.

In the story, ill emphasize what all the characters felt, putting focus on the heart aching pain and torment they felt.

That's how i will integrate dread, fear, and pain into Our Nearest Neighbor. I call the novel an EarthBound fanstory, as the two halves of the story drastically contrast with one part being a cheery teen alien sci-fi story, and the other being of death, eternal dread, and suffering, as does EarthBound.

This is a Local58 fan story for obvious reasons, too.

There is a lot about this thread that could go against guidelines, and if so, I'm willing to remove this post. Thank you for reading, if you have made it this far.

Submitted July 26, 2020 at 01:22AM by officialmcqp via reddit https://ift.tt/2CPz3wj

[demonofthelight]

Life stories: Simon Clarke

Joanne (presenter): What keeps you awake at night, like what do you regret the most?

Simon: I don't know if I regret anything because everything teaches you something. Everything we go through is a lesson in life.

Joanne: That's the diplomatic response. What's the real response? If you could change something what would be?

Simon: There's this girl, anyone that listens to this podcast regularly probably knows all about her. Well, I can't regret us ending, because she's getting married in, what's the date? She's getting married in less than a month and she's meant to be happy so I don't regret us ending. I regret being so unimportant in her eyes that we don't still speak. I regret that, more than anything. I don't know if she was the 'one' but she was a friend. A friend I will forever adore.

Joanne: Does that keep you awake at night.

Simon: I wouldn't go that far but there are days I wonder about her.

Joanne: If she was watching this show, what would you say to her?

Simon: I'm sorry I never made her happy and I'm sorry she felt pressured by me. There's this story where a mutual friend once told me, this girl who I don't want to name Joanne, I really don't. You've shown pictures there but she doesn't look the same anymore not even the same coloured hair. Anyway this mutual friend told me she 'hates me for bringing her up'. Honestly, I'm sick of talking about it but I was always taught there's no taboo subject.

Joanne: Do you wish you two stayed in touch?

Simon: Mixed. (looking uncomfortable and shifting) I wish we never drifted so apart into two different circles but the circle she mixes in aren't compatible with the circle I drift in. I don't want to sound like an arrogant asshole. I mean it's nothing to do with superiority or a god complex. The circles I drift in are quite intellectual. Political debates, university alumina, professional jobs, e-sports. The circles she drifts in are more materialistic or hobby orientated. Motorbikes, sports etc. I mean some of those people think I'm literally the worst thing to happen to her, while some of the people in my circle find those who can't debate infuriating. The reality is the person she is now and the person I am now are completely different.

Joanne: Moving on to the death of your mom. Can you remember the day you found out?

Simon: Like it was yesterday. I got woke up in the morning while the paramedics were in my kitchen. I got told that my mom had died in her sleep and as you can imagine my father was in bits. I didn't know how to process it initially so I stayed in my room for about an hour. As time passed, I just wanted to be hugged and told I wasn't as alone as I felt.

Joanne: I'm sure your sisters and brother were by your side.

Simon: Of course, but they were trying to come to grips with it too. To be entirely honest, I reached out to a friend the following day or within the next few days. It became a blur that week but I remember distinctly that the one female who I loved and depended on to that level other than my mother was my ex. I spent the time up until the funeral genuinely believing she would pop over and check up on me even after we broke up on bad terms.

Joanne: How did your friend react , how did they support you?

Simon: As we've touched on, I was a loner in school. Until near the end of high school, I was a bullied shy kid. I didn't have any true friends. But this moment, this terrible event, Matthew made me realise I would never have to go through a travesty alone. He took time out to go for a drink with me during that week and he took the day off work to go to my mom's funeral. He's a complete atheist. He think's my philosophy on the afterlife is closer to Stephen King than history textbooks but he literally walked probably a few miles to and from the funeral just to show his support. I've never told him how much that meant to me. But I'd like to think he just knows.

Joanne: I'm sure he wasn't the only friend over that time?

Simon: No, I have another fantastic friend called Andrew. I had a very bitter falling out over him trying to get me support and honestly anyone else would have knocked me out for the abuse I gave him over it. He just laughed it off. One of two friends that I can depend on, hopefully and as far as I'm concerned the rest of my life.

Joanne: You mentioned the girl again (picture of 2011 as a couple goes on screen), her family is your neighbour right so they knew about what happened with your mom but didn't she text you or call in?

Simon: Her parents lived opposite the street, but she never asked or showed concern on my wellbeing. I have no entitlement of that care. It's her right to feel or act in any legal way she wishes. I'll respect her freedom to do that for as long as I can.

Joanne: How does that make you feel?

Simon: It made me realise our perspectives on the 18 months we were in a relationship were different. For me, it was a fantastic period and I imagine for her it's best to forget it.

Joanne: Does that bother you?

Simon: Should it? People change, circumstances change. Can we move on?

Joanne: OK. We'll go to a break... Welcome back. I'd like to talk about university and is it true that you were warned before you enrolled?

Simon: As a 18 year old child. I made a stupid comment about a friend publicly on Facebook. My friend found it hilarious and it's the sort of dark humour we say to each other over voice chat and in person but someone twisted what I said to imply someone who died in my local area. Well implied the post was about them. I never met and couldn't care less about them. I apologised and thought that was the end of it but a formal police report was filed and the individuals informed my university who at this point had just provided me with an offer to enrol that I accepted. I mean top business college diploma in the county, they ripped the hands off for me. So that was interesting. The university was great about it. The police were as incompetent as you can imagine but it did teach me that don't say anything on social media that can't be literally taken. Like this will go up on YouTube and Tumblr. So anything I say can be proved.

Joanne: How did you emotionally react to this event, where what you said was taken out of context?

Simon: Betrayed by others but I was stupid and naiive. You can't be those things especially as a successful businessman. At this time a lot of falsehoods and rumours came around ranging from me being a drug addict to committing sexual assault. It was obvious at this point those who had ever had a conversation with me knew that I had traditional moral values so the accusations were as ridiculous as they sound. Childish rumours spread to squash what I had to say. My friends just ignored them, and the people the bullshit influenced were better off not in my life anyway.

Joanne: I've only met you twice and you're quite outspoken about some controversial subjects but its obvious to me morally your the other way. Severely punish criminals, probably too far in my opinion.

Simon: I agree, my opinions can be quite controversial but I'm as against illegal drugs as I love a cup of tea. Even my critics would tell you that.

Joanne: You've gone from a social media account with 50000 followers overall to less than a tenth of the size. Why do you think this is and does it bother you?

Simon: I used to be a depressing blogger with poems, and writing that was soul crushing but honest about my thoughts or feelings about myself. I then started to feel less lost so naturally started writing about facts not emotions. Politics was always a topic I found fascinating. I've always been debating since I can remember. I get off on a debate, which is why it's hilarious to mock those that call you names because they can't debate the facts of the topic. I started looking at things like the wage gap and white privilege economically and they don't hold up to the scrutiny expected in academic work. They just don't. Those that believe either of those things are either stupid or lied too.

Joanne: I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of politics because it's become who you are but if I can, I want to touch on 'getting off' of those that call you names in other words 'Trolls' can you elaborate on that?

Simon: I'll give you an example. I'm quite camp just look at what I'm wearing so I got an anon message on Tumblr once that read 'you are a gay homophobic sexist Nazi that should just kill yourself'. How hilarious is the stupidity of that statement. If I was gay, I couldn't be homophobic and gay people aren't allowed to be a Nazi. It shows the idiocy of these people that are probably children.

Joanne: Does these kind of hate messages matter to you?

Simon: Of course it matters, everybody wants to be liked. Those that claim otherwise are lying. But the opinions of people I've never met who are so ashamed of themselves they hide through anonymous, do not matter to me. The opinions of friends and parents of friends matter to me.

Joanne: You once said you were 'bad with women'.

Simon: Oh God, yea. I really wish I hadn't had said that. It was on an emotional post at 3am. It was a spur of the moment thought. I don't think I'm naturally bad with women but I am a marmite figure. I'm not universally liked. Most people I meet are probably intimidated by me. I think the women that I find attractive clearly don't normally find me attractive.

Joanne: Why is that? What type of women do you find attractive?

Simon: I'm probably a 6 out of ten, if I could lose the acne probably a good 7. I tend to fall for either the tall slim blonde or the short petite unique person. I'm quite simple like that. Then if they are able to debate or disagree with me brilliantly, I just adore them.

Joanne: (laughs) So you see yourself as just above average?

Simon: In looks, I do. In style, I'm quite unique and some people hate that I stand out. In personality, I am extremely demanding but I also expect that from myself.

Joanne: Do you ever think about children?

Simon: I did. I thought about marriage and kids but I've only ever found three people in 21 years that I could see having a life with. I do think about children's names though, I have top three for both genders. For a boy: Constantine, Excalibur or Arthur. For a girl: Katherine, Kate or Kathleen.

Joanne: Do you think it's fair when some people refer to you as egotistical, arrogant or psychotic?

Simon: It's no business of mine what other's perceive me to be. I can only concentrate on who I am and I'm none of those things.

Joanne: Do you like being the centre of attention with someone claiming you 'have to be seen to be the most overdressed person because you need the attention?

Simon: I don't mind it, but I don't actively pursue it. I don't really mind whether someone outshines me. I love a challenge and I think demanding the best from myself constantly while can be quite exhausting to see, is who I am whether that's monopoly, gaming or dressing.