#i feel like i'm going to die and it's mostly just because of my mother's reaction i was fine before that

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[ruvviks]

job interview tomorrow yeehonk

[judasgot-it]

Soulmate AU

"I can't believe you said that. You know that's going to be on my chest for the rest of my life now, right?"

Scenario: You and your soulmate meet. It's hard convincing yourselves that it's a good thing.

I'm timeskipping a bit, think of this as a sort of slowburn lol.

8,700 k words (jesus crhist)

Every person had spots on their body that marked the things that showed what their soulmate did that day.

Typically, they appeared at the age of five. Usually, they would be words and sentences, or pictures, sometimes depicting ideas. It was representative of what their soulmate was like - sometimes they were in different languages, or had patterns that only their soulmate could discern.

There was always one mark that would appear, and stay on the body for what was usually for the rest of someone's life. Sometimes small, sometimes big.

Some people were born with theirs. Others had theirs appear at the end of their life. They were rather random, it seemed.

Yours was strange. It wasn't a picture, and it wasn't a poem. It wasn't a sentence, and it wasn't anything compared to your family or classmates. When you were twelve, you had gained a large pattern on your back - something that if you reached around, you could feel mostly with your fingers.

If you squinted, you could maybe see it, but it seemed invisible.

Your mother had told you that it was almost like a scar, but it wasn't ugly. There was a pattern, but no one seemed to really know what it meant.

It was hard to really know what it was from looking at it in the mirror. To you, it looked like just a splattering of lighter and darker skin, now slightly raised in some areas. It was only visible in the light, and looked like you had splashed bleach on your skin.

All you knew was that it hadn't gone away in weeks. The doctor had said that it was most likely one of those marks that lived forever, and was possibly a sign that your soulmate was blind. Either that or some sort of fucked up artist.

It had left you angry for months. You didn't know why, but it upset you - maybe because you had expected a poem that would tell you how much you were adored, like your friend had. Or cute portrait, of some beautiful vacation spot.

You still wanted to dream. But instead, you got something had you scratching your back like a madman, trying to understand something that you couldn't. It left you impatient, trying to understand a puzzle that apparently, only a blind man or an asshole could solve.

Maybe both.

When you met your soulmate, you were going to slap the shit out of him.

-

At sixteen, you had debated on whether or not your soulmate was worth 'waiting for' or 'finding'. There was a big debate going on for decades anyway - was it worth falling in love with your soulmate?

Part of you wanted to try falling in love with someone else. Maybe it was because you had seen soulmates who hated each other - they had words permanently etched onto their bodies that said:

"I hate you" and "I hope that you die"

Seemed like proof enough that it was fake.

Your own soulmate seemed less like a real concept, and more like a cloud in the sky. There were never pictures of his day, or that many words to hear about. It was only feelings - there were cuts that had showed up along your skin, long lines that were in concerning places.

Once you had one show up along your chest, underneath your breast. You weren't sure if it would work, but you had written "Stay alive" and hoped it would show up along his skin. You wrote it in Sharpie and kept it there for days, just in case he needed the reminder.

He never seemed to have any words back. The only words you ever read on your skin were concerning. Once, words had shown up along your arm, written in a messy cursive, almost impossible to read:

"Go ahead and kill yourself. I don't need you anyway."

That started to convince you that your soulmate might have deserved the knife in the chest.

Despite this, you could never bring yourself to go past a second date. None of the guys who asked you out seemed to really 'click' in the way you really thought you would.

One of them was so bad, you had taken the Sharpie out and had added "I love you" close to where you remember adding the line.

If your soulmate really was blind, it was most likely a stupid thing to write - if it even showed up. But it made you feel better in the moment, so what was the harm?

-

When you were in your 20s, you had graduated university.

You didn't know what your soulmate was doing, but you had started to care less than you did when you were younger.

Before, it tore at you - there were a lot of dreams and ideas you had of what he was like, and what it would be like when you finally met the one person made for you.

Over time, you learned to accept that there was a chance you might not ever meet him. You knew people like that - those whose soulmates died, and those who never had them. Those who had met them late in life, and were still living good lives.

You had become content. In a way, your life had become better, knowing that you didn't need someone else there in order to live your own life.

There were friends you had. And you had an apartment. And now, you had a new job, one that was respectable and you had worked hard for. Life was looking up.

Part of you was convinced that your soulmate was either dead or still living a life that would lead to it. The marks that showed up were the same as when you were sixteen - they were lesser than before, but they were still scary when they did show up.

There were more words now as well. Something changed, as they were more positive.

"Stay behind me, I'll protect you."

That was one that had shown up today. Along your inner thigh, making you glad you wore shorts today.

Maybe he wasn't in a gang but was just a cop with a bad attitude. Unfortunately, your soulmate had never said his name, and you had no clues as to how to find him.

-

This job was great. But god, the military really couldn't keep a damn thing organized.

You might be the only person who knew where anything was at this point. Which left you carrying several boxes of confidential files to the office of Ouchi Fukuchi directly, because no one else knew where to find the paperwork that was needed.

He was also three months behind on all of it. Which was fine, it was only a matter of national security, after all. It wasn't an important thing, really. Who cared?

You weren't stressed about it at all.

"Do you need help?" A voice filtered through the elevator, and you almost cried with relief. The boxes were heavy, and based on the man's voice, he sounded like someone who actually could handle carrying them.

Unlike you at the moment, who was using every last bit of strength you had in order to keep them from spilling all over the carpet at the moment.

You worked at a desk. This was more lifting in a day than you did a year. Yes, of course you could use some help. Obviously.

"Yes. Can you push the number for Mr. Fukuchi's office? And also grab one of these boxes? If you aren't busy."

You were praying that he wasn't busy. Those few seconds as you waited felt like hell, but eventually you felt the man's hands touch your own, taking the boxes from your arms and relieving the agonizing weight from your spine.

Sighing, you leaned against the elevator door, feeling how it slowly lifted up to the highest story. Slowly, because despite appearances, the Hunting Dogs headquarters had disgustingly slow elevators despite the million-dollar planes they had parked in the vicinity.

The stairs might have been faster, honestly.

You could also have avoided the man's staring - the brunette was tall, and he glanced at your exposed skin as if you were naked. You turned to the doors, avoiding his gaze.

"Do you, know your soulmate?"

The man was blunt, his honey eyes staring directly at your wrist. He was holding the boxes as if they weighed nothing, and watching him made your back hurt more. What did they feed those military guys?

"No, I don't. Sorry, I know it's nasty. I feel bad for whoever Tecchou is, he doesn't seem to get along with him."

You tried to laugh it off, looking down at your wrist. Right there, you could see what your soulmate had said today, in the same messy cursive he always spoke in:

"Go to hell Tecchou, your food is always shit and I hope you die."

It had only shown up right when you had to go and deliver the files. Because of course it did - your soulmate really had to embarrass you like that in front of everyone.

You remembered when you were twelve you said you would smack the shit out of him. Maybe you would still do that, because right now it felt embarrassing to be stared at like that.

It wasn't your fault your soulmate had such a foul mouth.

Now you were going to meet the leader of the Hunting Dogs, and he was going to see what an embarrassment of a soulmate you had.

Thank god it wasn't on your forehead, at least.

The doors of the elevator opened, and you tried to keep your body straight and rigid, waiting for a greeting from Fukuchi himself. You watched the brunette walk in with the files, straight to the front of the desk as if it were habit.

You followed behind him, hoping you made a good impression.

"Ouchi Fukuchi! I am-"

Before you could finish your greeting, the man held a hand towards you.

"Tecchou, didn't I tell you to take a walk?" The older man was stern, and you stayed silent in hopes that he didn't turn his cold gaze towards you.

"...She looked like she was struggling." His voice was deep and monotone, and he looked almost bored from behind the stack of files he was hiding behind.

"So you decided to be an errand boy?"

"Yes."

There was a silence. You couldn't tell what was going on between the two men, but you were terrified. The look Fukuchi gave was terrifying, worse than was portrayed in the films you had seen before - he was scarier in person. His gaze was intense, as if he was trying to kill the man with his eyes.

"Sir, if I may add. They are very heavy, and I appreciated the help a lot."

You didn't know what came over you. Both men looked at you, and it had you putting your arms and head down, praying that the floor would eat you.

Fuck. You just needed to deliver the files and just go back to your office. You didn't even work for the Hunting Dogs, you worked for a completely different part of the government. This wasn't your business to get into.

"Sorry. Um...Those files, there is a file on top about their contents. They are to be completed and sent out ASAP. Requested by the prime minister. Apologies."

Your voice was firm, despite the sweat that was collecting on your palms. Without looking at anyone or anything, you nodded at the men and walked out, pressing the button for the ground floor several times.

This was terrifying.

-

The Hunting Dogs were hunting you. Ironic, but you now had one of them showing up at your office, wanting to 'talk' - what was there to even talk about?

You had only been there for maybe ten minutes at most, like, a week ago. If something happened in that facility, you had no part in it.

If you could, you would hide underneath your desk forever. But that most likely made them think you were guilty of whatever crime they suspected you of, and you did not want to seem like a criminal to them.

Their investigation tactics were more than infamous. You did not want to become another horror story.

Steeling yourself, you walked out, bracing for the inevitable interrogation that was about to follow. The man that was waiting for you was standing with a little girl - you vaguely remembered her as the vice-captain, although the man you couldn't really place his name.

His two-toned hair seemed familiar though. You might have seen it on a photograph before, when you were told about the group in a discussion about how lazy they were with paperwork. His closed eyes seemed strange, but tried to avoid them.

The man smiled at you, and it seemed more calculating than warm and friendly. The girl, someone you remembered to be known for her combat skills, didn't seem to be interested. She only blinked at you, bored at your office outfit.

You had to convince him that you were innocent. Of whatever it was that they had thought you were guilty of.

"So. Trying to get all pretty for me?"

The man was grinning, and you didn't know what to say. He had taken a step closer, and out tried to stay as still as possible, slowing your breathing.

If it was fight or flight, you chose freeze.

Keeping your face calm was hard, but you paused your breaths, trying your best to keep your body as cool as possible as the two didn't state why it was urgent that they speak to you. In the middle of your work day.

"Um. Is there a reason why you guys asked to see me?"

You were staring at the daisy-haired man's forehead, praying that he didn't notice that you were trying your hardest to not make eye contact with him.

"Did you deliver files to Fukuchi?"

The girl was bored, rocking her feet back and forth, slapping the man next to her with her ponytail.

"Um. Yes. I did."

"And did you meet a man named Tecchou Suehiro while you were there?"

"The brunette?"

"Yes. And tall, with three stupid tattoos under his eyes. Did you meet him?"

"I believe so, yes. He helped me carry the files to Mr. Fukuchi's office."

"What did your arm say that day?"

That was an odd question. That wouldn't have something to do with any sort of crime, would it? Or were you not thinking straight?

"Oh. Something about killing a man named Tecchou."

It felt like a pause button had been pressed at that moment.

Tecchou was an uncommon name. And Fukuchi had certainly called that man in the elevator by that name as well. How could you have missed that detail?

"...Why are you asking me about that?"

Tecchou had asked about the mark too, now that you had thought of it.

"Did my soulmate kill him?"

Either that, or Tecchou had killed him, and this was how you were going to find out that your soulmate was dead. He was dead and gone before you had ever gotten to meet him. Just one of those tragic cases of a love that never got to happen.

You steeled yourself for the news, taking in a deep breath.

"Jouno your soulmate is stupid."

The girl walked away, huffing and shaking her head. The man in front of you, Jouno, clapped your shoulder, breathing out a sigh.

"Tecchou is still alive. Unfortunatly."

The man's eyes hadn't opened to look at you, staying closed as he struggled to find the words. He was in your space, and you could taste how he struggled to find the words to say what he wanted to say.

Somehow, he was still smiling through the awkwardness, but you had started to realize-

He was blind. And your soulmate.

Your soulmate was always blind.

The strange spot on your back made more sense now. It wasn't some stupid art piece, but most certainly something he felt because he was blind.

"-I don't think I need to say anything. You know."

The man gave up on forming sentences, instead choosing to rub your shoulder and smile.

"Um. Yeah."

You spent nearly twenty years waiting to meet this man, and this is all you had to say? Wasn't there something more?

"Um. Shouldn't we do something?" His hand was still on you, and you didn't know if you should tell him to let go or not. This was the first time you had ever met, and frankly - you actually liked it a little bit. He was warm, and he didn't give you a weird feeling compared to some other people.

"Do what?"

"I don't know. We're soulmates. Shouldn't we like, have a moment?"

In the movies you had seen, there were soulmates who would meet and have a 'magical contact' moment. You couldn't look into his eyes and swoon, but surely he was having a magic moment right now? Wasn't he going to ask you on a date and try to live with you forever or something?

This should have been the start of...something.

"No. This is good enough. Honestly, I'd rather not see you again."

Or not.

His face didn't portray anything - he was still smiling, as if he was working at a front desk and not meeting his soulmate for the first time. You felt like you were looking into it, but surely he also wanted something more?

That smile couldn't be real.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It's nothing with you, but it's probably best if we don't try to make this a thing."

He let go finally, and that shoulder felt cold as he stepped away. You didn't know what to say, watching as he slowly removed himself from the little bubble the two of you had.

There was magic, and there was no magic. It was a mirage, more like it.

"So. You just, wanted to meet me, I guess?"

"Just know that you're alive. And you are. Good for us."

Us. But there is no us, because there is no thing, apparently. Just a him, and now you had to suppose a you. A lonely, singular you.

"Sorry. Um. Yeah, okay. Then let's not talk. That's fine."

It wasn't. Or maybe it was. You didn't know what to think, because your soulmate, who you now knew was the Hunting Dog Jouno, had come and gone in what felt like a matter of seconds.

But you supposed that was the end of it. You met your soulmate, and you would never see him again.

So why were you about to cry?

-

Ever since that meeting, the universe had been playing tricks on you. Or whoever had deemed soulmates to be a thing.

Before, whatever Jouno had put onto your body was so abstract that you could barely understand it. Now it felt like he was playing tricks on you.

"If I die, I don't care."

It felt like he was playing a game. You had only met him once, but if he died, you would care.

You would care so much.

The petty part of you had taken to those high school days, grabbing your sharpie and writing little responses underneath those types of sentences.

"I care." and "I love you, stay safe." was something you had started to write over and over again on your body.

It likely didn't matter. He was blind. But if it ever showed up on his skin, you hoped someone on his team would see it.

Part of you wanted to write it on your forehead and neck, just to shame him. Maybe he didn't care, but you cared - he would have everyone know just how much his soulmate cares about him.

But you didn't want to wash that off. You also were sure that your concealer wasn't going to cover that up.

It would just make the both of you look stupid.

-

Your day was just going great.

Great. As in, you were stuck next to a shitty criminal, who was pulling at your nice dress and tearing the buttons along the back.

This was expensive.

God. What a dickhead.

And who was going to save you from this guy? He had some weird fucked up ability, and it was freaking you out.

You didn't really deal with that stuff.

This was a time when you chose to freeze again. You wanted to choose something else - to fight back and be brave, or to run, do something.

But you felt frozen. It was honestly hard to breathe, but that might have been from how your dress was pulling against your neck, restricting your airflow.

"Oh shit, it's the Hunting Dogs."

The guy next to you groaned, and you tried your hardest to disappear as you felt him tug and pull you around.

The gunshots were loud, and you were stuck choosing between covering your ears and pulling against your dress as the man tried to choke you with it.

You chose your ears, in the end. However many gunshots he fired, you didn't count, instead trying your best to become a ball. One that would be unmovable, immune to the hellfire that was happening.

Maybe if you became deadweight, he would drop you and run away. He had no reason for you, right?

You didn't know why he chose to use you as a distraction anyway. This was your day off, couldn't he have chosen any other person?

"Goddammit, I said get up!"

The man pulled at your hair, and you screamed. As much as you fought back, clawing at his arms, he started to drag you away from his little spot in the building, to the open area where you could see a whole crowd had gathered.

It was hard to see if any of the Hunting Dogs were actually there, as you could only focus on the pain you were in.

Weren't they going to do their jobs? What the fuck was taking so long.

This felt like it was taking forever. This guy was tugging you around, and talking about something that you couldn't even bring yourself to care about. It was something that a man who would try to blow up a building would say - they're spying on us, they're killing us, they made it all up. Whoever they are, and whoever the us is. It didn't matter, because now your day was ruined.

Maybe you were pathetic, still trying to fight back. The guy seemed ridiculously strong.

"Run."

The word was whispered to you, in a soft voice and with a gentle hand on your back. It might have only been a second - but the moment the grip loosened on your hair, you took the moment to run.

God knows where. But you ran. It might have been the fastest you had ever been in your life, if you were being honest with yourself.

You were just glad the nightmare was over.

-

Ever since that...event. You haven't had a good dream since.

It was hard too. You would wake up to the violent hair pulling, the smells, and there would be that voice at the end each time.

You would be crying, and each time the voice would say something different. In real life, all he had said was "Run" but in your dreams, he said rather sweet things.

They were things that frankly, you had wanted to hear. He had a gentle voice for a man, and it was hard to believe that it was the same voice as your soulmate.

You kept pretending that it wasn't him. As time went on, you were more hurt by the words he said, you started to pretend that the voice you heard was just a different man you had conjured up.

Something you made while you were delirious with fear. And now he was haunting your dreams, because you were a lonely and loveless woman, who couldn't stop crying in her kitchen because she was scared of something that had already happened.

It was stupid. You knew it was stupid, and you just wanted to be over it. But for some reason, you were left sitting at the table again, forcing yourself to drink a glass of water and play through another round of solitaire.

The knocking on the door scared the shit out of you.

...

Another knock.

Fuck.

Gettting up, you stalked slowly to the door, hoping that the intruder to your miserable peace wouldn't hear your approach the door. You wanted to pretend you weren't there, even if it was obvious you were home.

Another knock.

Loud ones. Impatient ones.

"I know you're in there. Listen, I just need to talk to you real quick."

Peeping through the peephole, you saw him - Jouno, who was clad in a dandelion bedhead and grey sweatpants. His hoodie was a strange faded color, and you were sure it was old enough to be his father's.

Taking a moment, you breathed as you watched him. It was hard to believe he was standing there, actually at the front of your door.

At like what, two in the morning?

You opened the door a little bit, feeling the cold night air breeze by. It made you pull yourself closer together, as the shirt you wore barely covered you enough to protect you from the cold.

Thank god Jouno was blind at least. He would see a lot more than he bargained for, you imagined.

"...What do you want?" You wished you could have your voice sound firm, like an interrogator. But you could still hear the tears in your voice, and it made you want to hide in your bed like a mole dug into the dirt.

You sounded so lame.

"Listen. Let me in, real quick."

He was smiling, the same one that you saw when you first met him. Like a fucking customer service representative, trying to sell you something. At two in the morning.

"I'm not a booty call."

"No, what? Just let me inside-" You started to close the door, not caring for the force you used. He could handle it.

"Bring me flowers if you want to ask me for anything next time."

Jouno fought back easily, but was polite enough to stay between the door and the entryway. He only kept half of his body there to maintain conversation, allowing you the ability to slam the door on him if you so wished.

It was tempting, at that moment.

"I need you to listen. This isn't sex or anything."

"Can't you say it in the morning? Some people sleep."

That was a lie, but you weren't in the right mind to speak to him at that moment. He made you emotional - maybe his whole existence was making you feel too much, but that was likely heightened by the fact that you hadn't slept well for the last few nights.

"That's exactly it! You aren't sleeping. Now I can't sleep. So let me in, because I want to go to sleep-"

He pushed through your hold of the door. He had both let himself in, and you had let him.

"You're so selfish."

For some stupid reason, you had let him into your home and had already started to cry again. It had taken so long to calm down, and now you were starting the process all over again.

God, you were really starting to hate your soulmate for doing this to you.

"What? What's selfish about that?"

"You came here just so you could sleep. Why don't you figure out a way to go to sleep on your own!"

The words were spilling out of your mouth, and frankly whatever you said was not even registering in your brain.

All you knew was that you were feeling a lot at the moment. You hadn't felt like this since you were twelve and had the big mark show up on your back, making you mad for weeks.

Maybe you were still mad. And you were remembering it all just now.

Or maybe you were just really tired.

"I did try! I took enough melatonin to kill a man, but you won't let me sleep with your stupid nightmares!"

The man in front of you looked stressed, and you wanted to feel bad. But at the moment, your mind could only think of the worst words to say to him, to twist anything to try and hurt him.

You took a breath. A deep one, feeling how you were choking your brain from oxygen.

Why were you screaming at each other at two in the morning?

"Listen. I know PTSD is stressful, but you can find a way to cope with it, can't you?"

Jouno put his hands on your shoulders. He stepped into your space, and he was so close you could smell the coffee on his breath.

Maybe it wasn't you, but the caffeine he was drinking so goddamn late into the night.

"I don't have PTSD. I've never been to war."

"Then what is this then." He shook you, as if you were the stupid one here, despite walking over to someone's home in the middle of the night.

"Just something I need to get over."

That's something you had always been told. And you were sure it was something that would go away. Eventually.

"See. This is the problem. You don't even know how to deal with the problem you have. And now, I can't sleep."

The man didn't give you a chance to argue back. Before you could say anything, he hauled you onto his shoulder, his hand traveling along your back.

Desperately, you grabbed at his sweatshirt, pulling at the fabric and praying you wouldn't fall onto your face.

"Where's your bedroom? You're sleeping whether you want to or not."

Without caring to listen, he attempted to navigate your home anyway. It was a little entertaining, feeling how he turned his body in circles as he tried to figure out where to go.

"That's the wrong way. It's the other way. On the left."

You pitied him. If only a little bit.

-

"Is sleeping really that hard for you?"

Your bed wasn't small, but Jouno made it feel small with just his presence alone. His body was warmer than yours, and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as you laid side by side, with a few fingers space between each other.

Now that you had though about it, you never had really made space for another person in your bed before. There really was only enough space for you.

"I have a strange man in my bed, can you blame me?"

"I'm your soulmate, I'm not just anyone."

Now he wanted to be something. When he wanted it to benefit him.

Maybe you were deeply bitter about the way he rejected ever wanting to be anything at all.

"You really are selfish, you know? You said you didn't want this to be a thing, but now you're going on about being my soulmate."

Because that meant something. It meant having an actual bond, a sort of relationship. This wasn't anything - at most, you had vague conversations, and now he was just a man in your bed who was upset at you for a stupid reason.

And you were mad at him. And you hoped he knew that.

"I wouldn't do this if I couldn't sleep. We're just...people who need each other."

His voice sounded off. As off as you could tell, as if he was lying, even to himself.

Why did he say these things if even he didn't believe them?

"Do I really need you?" You said the words only loud enough that the pillow could hear you, hoping that he had finally managed to go to sleep, or thought that you had.

But you felt him turn around, bouncing the bed and pulling at the blanket the two of you shared.

Of course he heard it somehow. What a freak.

"Clearly! You couldn't even save yourself. You're lucky I was there."

He was closer now, his voice nearly kissing your ears. You groaned, his volume too loud for your wallowing.

"That's your job, isn't it? To save people?"

Waving him off, you didn't bother to face him - like it would matter, when he couldn't even see you. Instead, you hugged the pillow in front of you closer, feeling how the cold fabric kissing your exposed skin.

It was rather cold for the summertime.

"...I didn't want to know you more, because I didn't want you to be hurt."

His breath tickled your neck, and somewhere along the bed you could feel his fingers dance along the fabric, far too close to your shoulders.

You didn't know him too well, but his touch didn't bother you as much as you wanted to pretend it did.

"How were you going to hurt me?"

"My job. I'm going to die, eventually. It'll be a miracle if I reach 40."

His voice was gentle, without the tone of an insurance agent. He sounded honest; speaking as if he really meant what he said.

It left you breathless, and you had to remind yourself that you needed to breathe in order to live.

"That doesn't mean anything. I would still like to know you when you're here."

There was a laugh behind you, a tired one. Maybe he was only saying these things because he was also exhausted.

A lack of sleep was worse than drugs, you had once heard before.

You couldn't even open your eyes anymore at this point. It was just your mind fighting you.

"That would be nice. But I'm not the best person, I would just make your life miserable. You're right, I am really selfish."

"I know. But I think you're worth it Jouno."

-

After that night, something felt different. Your body felt different.

For one thing, you now had Jouno's phone number. He had texted you, and told you to call him in case of emergencies only.

You had learned that meant when you couldn't couldn't sleep, he really couldn't sleep. And when you couldn't eat, he couldn't eat. and it was an emergency.

Maybe because he was blind, his soulbond appeared differently. It wasn't visual at all, but instead tormented him with your own physical sensations.

It had you wondering if he had ever felt your pain. Or felt anything else you felt.

It wasn't a conversation you were willing to have just yet. You had just started to feel comfortable texting and calling him.

Having him sleep in the same bed was as far as you two had gone, and it had only happened a few times after. He had shared meals with you as well, after you lost your appetite from a bad stomach bug.

It was a strange relationship you had formed. You weren't sure if you were ever going to get closer than you were.

Maybe you were ok with knowing him like this. Like a strange acquaintance, learning weird bits and pieces about him, with unanswered questions that you were too scared to ask.

He was your soulmate. Maybe he didn't need to be anything more than that.

-

"You know, because of you, I can't really go out shirtless anymore."

Jouno was relaxed against the table, bored as he played around with the food on his plate. Recently he wasn't able to each much at all, and you had stayed over for the last while.

But it didn't seem to have much to do with you. Right now you were stuffed, and it seemed like it was all on Jouno at the moment. He had only eaten a quarter of his plate, and you had considered feeding it to him like a child so he would eat more of it.

"Why?"

"Because. You put this on my chest."

Jouno leaned up from the table and forgot his food; taking off his cotton T-shirt, revealing what you had always believed would be there.

Two lines, right by a little ugly scar - "Stay safe, I love you."

They were a little close together, not a work of art by any means. Your handwriting on someone's skin looked...funny. Almost unreal. It looked blotched out, and it reminded you too well of how stupid you were as a teenager, tracing over the Sharpie over and over again, hoping your blind soulmate would see it.

"You're mad about it?"

"It looks like a shitty tattoo."

That was your one mark on him forever. And he called it a shitty tattoo. It wasn't like the stupid daily quotes and one-liners, it was forever.

God forbid you care about someone.

"...I thought you got stabbed." You didn't really see the point in getting hurt by what he said in anymore. This was just how Jouno was.

"Did you feel it?"

"Don't get excited! No! Weirdo!"

You kicked him from underneath the table, easily kicking at his long calves as they stuck out towards your space. Always your space, because he was a tall freak who loved to walk into the space of others, and yours was his favorite.

The man in front of you only giggled, playing footsie with his too-cold feet.

"I see it. Every time you get hurt, it shows up on my skin. You don't really give me pictures or colors. Sometimes I see sentences, but it's not enough. But I always know when you get hurt."

Which was true. You didn't have his scars, but you knew when they hurt. Because the little lines showed up.

"Not enough? Do you like hearing about my day?"

The man's voice sounded ecstatic, smiling as he trapped your feet between his own, almost in a handshake. Maybe he was playing with you, trying to flirt when he didn't mean it at all.

"I like it when you say positive things. It's not really common, you usually are threatening to kill people. It gets boring after a while."

You let him win, instead choosing to take a bite out of his uneaten food. It was right there, and you might as well take your chance, right?

"Well it did help me find you, didn't it?"

"I guess. Yeah."

You tried to take another bite, but the daisy-haired man took you hand and led the fork straight to his mouth. Part of you wanted to kill him, if it wasn't his food you were stealing from.

Maybe you actually cared about him, despite how weird he was.

"Can I ask you something?"

Jouno nodded, starting to eat now knowing that you were willing to take from his plate. Watching him was funny - trying to be as unmessy as he could, while smearing half of his face in sauce.

It was a little cute, seeing him struggle each time.

"Since I was twelve, there's this...mark, on my back. It's not really something you can see, but something you can more feel. It should be related to you, since no doctor has had an explanation for it."

Saying that was strange. The culprit was right in front of you, and now you were asking him politely, despite him being a man who broke into your home at least three times now.

"What do you think it is?" He spoke with his mouthful and no table manners, and at this rate you would rather have him eat with his hands.

"I don't know! Some fucked up masterpiece by a blind asshole I'm attached to for life. If you're an artist, I'm smacking the shit out of you."

You were starting to remember that promise when you were twelve. It really irked you that you hadn't kept to it yet.

"What? Why?"

"Because it's annoying."

Since it showed up, it ruined a lot of things for you - your expectations of your relationship, your fantasies, your dreams. It was really a bad premonition, because Jouno was just like that mark - fucking impossible to understand. And stuck to you for life.

"I can't believe you think the mark that signifies me, and our bond, is annoying. Wow, you hate me."

"You called mine a shitty tattoo!"

He stopped chewing like a marmot, going back slowly as he registered your words.

"...Okay. And?"

"Whatever. But you should get it." At the very least, if he was going to be a thorn in your side forever, he was going to be a useful one, and solve this for you.

"Why would I?"

"Don't play coy with me! That's how soulmates work! Didn't anyone tell you anything!"

"No not really. I honestly figured I would die before I met you, so I never cared."

He said this normally, as if he had said it before. It was just more dinner talk to him, as he chewed senselessly on his salad.

"...what?"

"I just never thought it would matter. I didn't think we would even meet, and I never thought about what would happen next. I don't think it's that big of a deal, really."

The world turned silent to you, as you heard him say that.

I never cared. I don't think its that big of a deal.

Then what were you doing here?

-

You never got your answer for that mark.

Stupid Jouno had disappeared to East Europe for the last two weeks, and you haven't heard back from him. Maybe you didn't want to.

He never cared.

You had spent years, before even knowing him, caring about what he would be like. You cared when he got stabbed, and you cared even when he rejected you.

But he never cared at all.

Did he never think about you? Not when you had broken your wrist? He felt your pain, didn't he feel that?

When you went to work today, you thought about getting hit by a car and seeing if he would call. Just to know if you were okay.

But that was selfish. He was probably busy, and making someone else feel the pain of getting hit by a car was more than a dick move.

You also needed that money from your job. They paid your rent, not your soulmate. That would stay a fantasy, and a dead one; where you and Jouno could function like a normal couple, and live together and maybe even get married.

If he was just a normal man. Who didn't say stupid things and hurt your feelings that you hated you had.

It was ruining the makeup that you spent hours on this morning.

-

"Hey."

"...It's been two months, and that's all you have to say? Hey?"

You had been ready to receive the news that he had died while he was there. Or at least see it on TV. He was practically MIA with the other Hunting Dogs, and no one in the government knew what the hell was going on.

"Listen. It's been a rough two months. When I come back, I want to see you. First thing.

"The hell am I to you? A dog? Should I come back with the morning newspaper?"

"I didn't realize you came with perks." He sounded exhausted over the phone, but his laugh was still the same. It managed to annoy you as well, even after not hearing it for two months.

"Go fuck yourself!"

"...Are you mad at me?"

Yes. You honestly had been mad at him since you knew him, but that wasn't something you wanted to admit to yet.

"No. You just caught me at a bad time."

"Just be at my apartment, alright? And wear that short dress with the strings. Or nothing at all."

"Is this a bootycall?"

"I call you for more things than that."

What an asshole. Jouno was supposed to be a logical man, but he had no clue how to navigate a human relationship it seemed. It was as if he was stepping on seashells every time, and you had to watch them crumble underneath his stupid boots.

He is horrible at navigating anyone's emotions. He only seemed to be able to hurt them.

You tried to keep your voice calm, despite the fact you wanted to cry. Part of you was proud that only your eyes were wet, knowing that Jouno wouldn't know how much he bothered you with his stupidity.

"We aren't anything. This is something."

"...Can we be something? I miss you."

He was almost whimpering over the receiver, and you hoped that someone on the other end could record what he looked like. Because he must have looked funny, begging and pleading like a dog.

"I'm expecting flowers. Or chocolate."

"You like dark, right? You have horrible tastebuds."

"Says the idiot who drinks more milk than coffee." He really should just add an espresso shot to his glass of milk, it was disgusting how much he added and then claimed he loved caffeine.

"Okay. Whatever. Love you."

God, what the hell was wrong with Jouno?

-

"The mark on your back."

Jouno's hand trailed up your spine, his fingers dancing along the little lines that made up the mark, as if reading it like a page in a book.

It felt good.

"Yeah?"

"It's a map." His lips were right above your ear, and you could feel how his breath fanned across your face. This man had no sense of personal space around you.

"Okay. And of what?"

"It's a map of my childhood home. I haven't been there in years. I don't know why it's on your back."

His fingers went lower, to the little part that was raised more than the rest. It looked like a mole, although the skin around it gave the impression of a faded scar, from what you had been told.

"How do you know it's a map?"

"I memorize everywhere I've been."

"And you know just by feeling it?" His hand splayed out against your back, making you feel small. Jouno's hands were not as soft as voice, and you could feel the work he put in them as his callouses brushed against your skin.

"I've never felt it before. But I know. It's strange that it's on your body."

"Well, it means something. It's been there since forever."

Over a decade now. It had taunted you for over a decade.

"...I haven't been there in a long time."

The man plopped his body down next to you, drapping half of himself on top of you. He was heavy, and his face was nearly smushed against your own as he lay there, as if he were a weighted blanket and not a man.

"You know there's another half of the bed, right? You own a king-sized mattress."

And silk sheets, that smelt really good.

He could roll over and still have space to spread out. There was no reason for him to treat your space like it was his own.

"You smell good." To exaggerate, he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you closer, smelling your neck and ear as if you were a living room candle.

You tried to push him away, laughing as he stuck his nose in the one ticklish spot along your neck, but it was hard to fight in the position you were in. Pulling against his hair and kicking against him was futile as he pulled you in closer, grabbing you two into a hold as he decided that your sweaty body was the best thing he had smelled since soap had been invented.

"Freak!" It was hard to stay serious as his arm danced along your sides, having you choke on the word as it sputtered out in laughter.

Jouno only laughed at your struggles. Because of course they were funny to a sadist like him.

-

"I um. I got you flowers."

Jouno looked funny when he tried to be anything other than a soldier or an asshole.

He dressed up - and not to beat a man to death, but because he was seeing you. On a date.

The first one since you had actually known each other. It was such a mundane thing, but it felt like you were seeing a wild animal playing dress up. His hair was done as nice as it usually was, and he was dressed in an outfit that you could picture him wearing to an event - he looked like he didn't have a criminal record.

The flowers added to it, bouncing from in front of him and between his side, as if he had never given a woman flowers in his life before.

His smile said otherwise, which couldn't help but make you laugh inside.

"For?"

"To apologize." He decided to push them into your hands, grabbing them around the stems and making sure you weren't going to drop them to the floor.

You would never do that. They smelled too nice.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"There's a lot of times I've made you cry. Usually, you apologize for that." His voice was low, as he fixed the bouquet he couldn't see. His hands were nervously looking for things to pick at, as if they had eyes of their own and could fix the world one little detail at a time.

His face stayed frozen in his stupid little smile.

"Well, it's not like I'm upset about it now."

"Can't you just accept some flowers?"

His hands decided to fix your hair, brushing down flyaways that didn't exist. If you stared only at his smile, you would think he was as calm as a still pond.

"...They're nice." They were your favorites. They matched what your childhood self had pictured for her stupid little wedding day. One you had given up on, but still wanted to believe in.

Maybe still did, in some way.

Jouno wasn't exactly what you pictured - he looked more like a fox than a handsome prince, and the way he smelled your head right now was more weird than romantic, but you were willing to take it.

He might have been your handsome prince.

"So is there a date planned? Or are we just standing in a park?"

"Why do you always question me?"

"You don't really know what you're doing."

Jouno was a brilliant man in a lot of things. But god he could not make up his mind when it came to you and what he wanted out of this.

Was this really that hard?

"You've seen me at work."

"Okay? Are we going to kill bank robbers or something? Is that our first date?"

The man most certainly had his gun on him, which confused you, because you knew that he hated using it more than any other weapon he owned. But yet you were sure that tucked away in his Chelsea boots was his little handgun, that he would pull out in a moment's notice.

Maybe he had one tucked away in his pants somewhere. He didn't seem to bring his sword, which is the only weapon he hadn't complained about to you yet.

"...It's the boring romance stuff. You like that."

"It's not boring-"

"I've seen your movies. It's boring."

He rolled his shoulders back, scanning the park as his earring danced against his neck.

"And what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Never really thought about it." His hands started to dance along your jacket, pulling against the lapels as if there was lint that he could actually see.

"Maybe you actually like the boring stuff, and just don't know it."

You started to ignore him, instead deigning to walk ahead of him with the bouquet he gave you.

Were you going to carry this the entire time?

"A walk in the park? You think that's fun?" He only took two big steps to catch up to you, and you dared to kick at him. You didn't care if you were trying to trip a blind man - Jouno wasn't a regular blind man, and he would probably throw you both into the grass eventually after one of you said something stupid.

"It's fun when it's with people you love."

Taking the bouquet, you gently slapped him with it. The daisy-haired man snorted back.

This is close enough to what you wanted.

Hey guys ignore the fact that I originally uploaded this half unfinished yesterday! This is for my Valentine's day event, so go check that out lol. Also sorry that its. So long.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

EEEEEEven more incorrect quotes! Merlin Academy Gang! AND MORE. Kinda long? Idk

(and ships)

Hook: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Uliana: It's Hades's turn.

Hades: Don't die.

Uliana, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

(so beautiful 😭 I don't know how to explain, but this is canon now)

---

Maleficent : Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Fay: *sobbing*

Maleficent : Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.

(She's used to her and Hades banter and fights. Fay still needs to get used to that)

---

Fay: What the hell is wrong with you?

Hades: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

(mm. Yeah.)

---

Hook: Goodnight to the love of my life, Morgie, and fuck the rest of y'all.

(just a normal day)

---

Morgie: *is throwing stones at Ella's window*

Ella: You have a phone for a reason, Morgie!

*THUD*

Ella: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

(Love my little chaos goblin. He absolutely knew what he was doing)

---

Ella: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Morgie’s bedroom?

Bridget: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means.

Maleficent, nodding: Dungeon.

Hades, nodding: Rich.

Uliana , nodding: Homeless.

Ella, nodding: Secretly in the mafia.

Bridget: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

(Hook not being there because he's in Morgie's bedroom right now. they are cuddling)

---

Ella: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Bridget.

Fay: You just said it again.

Bridget:

Ella: I am not a role model.

(don't worry Ella. She knows worse. She just doesn't use them)

---

Bridget: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

(once she went back to wonderland and didn't text anyone anything. Just sulking in her feelings for Ella)

---

Hades: How do you do that?

Charming: I'm fearless.

Hook: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.

Charming: I'm mostly fearless.

(Mhm. But fair)

---

Bridget, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee!

Hook: Friend of Yours?

Bridget: Nope, wrong number.

Hook: ???

(Hey. She's not gonna pass on making new friends 🤷)

---

(add some glassheart)

Chloe: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Red: What did you just say-

Chloe: Foetons! *Laughs*

Red: Wh-what?

(love how Red is just confused. Chloe making puns/dad jokes. Canon, actually)

---

Ella: Please pray for Chloe.

Bridget: What happened to them?

Ella: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

(not her own mother saying that (he doesn't know tho lol). But honestly that's after the vase incident.)

---

Red: Chloe, you're my best friend.

Chloe: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Chloe: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

(oop- true)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Morgie/Fay: Would never stab anyone.

Ella/Charming: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Hook/Maleficent: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Hades: Would stab without warning.

Uliana/Bridget: Would stab as a warning.

(I wanted to put Bridget in the last one lol. Like if someone went too far and hurt one of her friends she'd be like *stab* don't do it again or next time it will be worse)

---

Uliana: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Bridget: Those are wanted posters!

(yeah. Still)

---

Maleficent: *looks at Hades*

Maleficent: Baby boy. Bad Boy.

Maleficent: *looks at Fay*

Maleficent: goody two shoes

(changed it a bit lol. Also Me just randomly shipped Maleficent and Fay because gay. Just a crack ship lol)

---

Red: I got an idea!

Chloe: Does it involve breaking the law?

Red: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Chloe: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Red: Don’t bother.

(GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY! UwU)

---

Chloe: You're not my friend anymore.

Red: I was your friend?

(Red. You just called her your best friend a few seconds ago! She's just trying to play it cool. She's screaming on the inside.)

---

Red: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Red: Me too!

(oh no. She's mad. PSST. I HAVE THREE ACCOUNTS ON DISCORD AND ACTED LIKE TWO OF THEM WEREN'T ME. I HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS ONLINE AND I WAS BORED 😭 I was very invested in my own dramas that I created. It also started with only two accounts 🫠)

---

Queen of Hearts, to Red: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Red: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Queen of Hearts: You just told me you're pregnant.

Maddox: Congratulations Red, you're glowing!

(Red can speak Italian and Spanish and also has a hidden British accent. There, my new headcanon)

---

(a little surprise)

Mal, staring lovingly at Evie: I would die for you.

Evie, doing their own thing: Then perish.

(Mal, you know not to interrupt Evie while she's working)

---

Mal: As a responsible adult-

Evie: *chuckles*

Mal: … As a responsible adult—

(Eeeviee, don't do Mal dirty like that. Even if you aren't wrong)

---

Evie: What do I get?

Mal: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Evie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Mal: It won't be you.

Evie: I'll get my coat.

(what are they planning o~o)

---

Cinderella: What’s your greatest weakness?

Red: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.

Cinderella: Could you give an example?

Red: Yes, I could.

(why does it feel relatable even tho I don't remember actually having done that)

---

Red: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.

Chloe: Ok.

Red: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

(Same Red, same Qvq)

---

Red, digging their grave: Long story short, this is ma grave.......Want me to make you one too?

(Omg Hunter! Is that you? ✨ love the owl house 😭😭😭. This is making me think Red fucked up a mission from her Mom. Like Hunter did.)

---

Red: I’m going to get so much done today.

Queen of Hearts: I’ll hold you to that.

*8 hours later*

Queen of Hearts: So how much did you get done?

Red: One thing.

Queen of Hearts:

Queen of Hearts: Well, that’s one more than usual.

(QvQ me TvT)

---

Mal, at Evie: You're my significant other.

Evie: Yeah I am!

Mal, at Celia: You're my child.

Celia: Yes boss.

Mal, at Uma: You're my bitch.

Uma: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Mal, at Carlos: My bestie.

Carlos: Naturally.

Mal, Jay: HA, GAY!

Jay: Fuck you.

(Jay x Gil 🤸)

---

Chloe: Wow! Celia made you cry?

Red, holding back tears: Yes, and they said some really mean things that are only partly true.

(Daaamn. She can do that tho. Wow fr)

---

*at an awards show*

Chloe: Can I carry you on my back like Mal did?

Red: I don't think Evie would like that.

Chloe: *pouts*

*Later*

Chloe: *carrying Red on their back*

Evie: What the hell??

Red: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

(Evie was panicking over Chloe's suit/dress because she made it for her. Do not ruin her designs. She will not take responsibility for what happens after that)

---

This was gonna be longer but I shall post it now anyway.

Hope you liked it.

Byeee

[miniaturesuitgladiator]

Hi 👋 this is the second chapter of the series I've created. I haven't named the series yet so if you guys have an idea pls tell me. I also appreciate everyone that read my last post. Pls don't be rude I'm still new to writing stories. So if you have any tips let me know!!! Thank you for your time and enjoy!!

Notes: talia is married to bruce. We're gonna act like Jason didn't die and it's ok for him to be seen with the Wayne's.

WARNINGS: Yandere (they aren't really yandere for reader yet.)

You loved church you truly did ,and like anyone else in the would. You observe things that you love. You knew everyone in church. Which wasn't hard because your whole town went. That and the fact that your town was small. The only people that didn't go to church was the people that were just plain bad people at heart ,and even sometimes they went.

They came and left as they pleased and your church welcomed them with open arms ,everytime. Which disappointed your father greatly. Mostly because he's the one that usually had to put them in cuffs when there supposedly good streek was over.

Nevertheless you were also one of the people that welcomed them aslwell. Decideding that everyone deserved a second chance. Anyway, you knew everyone in church by name and address. You even knew what are car they drove.

So image your surprise when there was a new car parked right in front of the church. Right were your father parks. Everyone knew that the parking spaces in the front were especially reserved for the people that helped organize the church. Not even the supposedly bad people at heart parked in your father's parking space.

"What on earth are these people on." Your father says ,and you know your mother's angry by how she doesn't even correct your father on judging people. You cringe at how hard your mother slams the trucks door. Silently you all watch as your mother practically stomps her way into the church.

Now, your mother may have wanted to be early for just about everything ,but she actually had a good reason to be early for church. Your mother was the daughter of the pastor ,and the head manager of the whole church. Everyone knew that.

Your mother was always known as the typical 'preachers daughter' ,but she also did things out of church like ,help with school fundraising ,donate to charities. It was safe to say she was big part of the community. But she didn't do all that to be part of the community. She did it to earn respect. An seeing someone park in the parking space that she's been parking in since she was sixteen and had gotten her first busted up car. Drove her mad. Rightful so, she earned that parking spot ,or atleast she believed she did.

Getting out of your car and walking towards the car that 'stole' your parents parking space. You noticed that it was a very nice car. Like a very ,very nice car. Something that you doubt anyone in you town could afford.

'Maybe their knew and mom will show them mercy.' You think to yourself. They were most definitely rich that was for sure. If they were knew they definitely came to the right place. Everyone important came to this church. So if they wanted to feel included in the community today was the right day. Especially since everyone was going to bring some kind of food to eat at the church ,today.

Everyone in town knew your family. That being said everyone in town knew you. Your grandpa was the pastor, but not only the pastor he's a judge. The only judge that your town has. He was kind as a pastor and a judge. He truly does believe everyone deserves a second chance. He's definitely where you get it from. Your grandma was the towns seamstress everyone knew that if you wanted a dress or a suit you go to her for the best of the best. Unfortunately for them she only made you the best of the best ,and sure others were jealous. But they also wanted to get on her good Side. fortunately for you, you never wore hand me downs dresses. Your grandma wouldn't allow it.

Your father was the sheriff and more often then not he butted heads with your grandpa. Solely because when he would put someone in jail your grandpa would 'turn the other cheek' ,and let them go the next day.

Your father was tall and quite intimidating. He's probably the reason you've never had a boyfriend. It's a small town and it's not hard to see that your the sheriffs baby. Sure your brothers the youngest but your his princess, his angel, his world. And no one wants to get on the sherrifs bad side, especially not with the connects your family has.

Your uncle and aunt are definitely the ones that spoil you the most. With your uncle being the mayor and your aunt being a lawyer. They definitely have some money. Sadly your aunt is infertile ,and their always so busy so they know they won't be able to adopt. So they treat you and riley as their kids. An In their hearts you two are their kids.

You know your family has controll over this town. Not only by what you see but by how people treat you.

Today's no diffrent than any other Sunday except for the fact someone 'stole' your parking space. Just like clock work you walk into the big church door and are greeted with friendly smiles and waves. By now though you can tell the difference between the real ones and the fake ones.

You hug you grandmother and she's excited seeing you wear the dress she made for you. You thank her and decided you should look for your grandfather since he's usually the first one that greets you at the door. How unusual. You walk by the church kitchen and spot your mother and father working on putting some food away. You can just hope your mother's not angry anymore or it'll definitely ruin your sunday.

You smile as you spot your grandfather talking to someone in the hall by the bathrooms. Not wanting to interrupt you simply offer a kind smile to your grandpa and begin to walk to the stage. But your grandpa had other plans. "And this is my granddaughter. " Your grandpa says pointing at you. Feeling awkward you just smile and slightly wave.

"Come say hi to are guest ,sunshine" Your grandpa says motioning with his hand for you to come closer. "Hello" you say with a small wave.. "Hello I'm bruce wayne and this is my wife talia." The man says gently shaking your hand and pointing at his wife. You offer the women a kind smile to which she doesn't retaliate. Shaking her hand she almost looks disgusted by you but you shake it off. Maybe she's just shy. " Well I'm y/n. Nice to meet you." You say and the women simply rolls her eyes. 😁

You suppose your grandpa saw that and got offended for you because of what he says next. "Well sunshine the Wayne's are in need of some land and since are towns land connects right to gotham their trying to by some." Your grandpa had said. It was true your towns land did connect to gotham. But you also knew that other people had already tried to buy land in your town but couldn't. Due to the fact that all the people in your town were plain stubborn.

If you hadn't know your grandpa and your town like the back of your hand you would have thought that your grandpa was just telling you what the Wayne's wanted. But you did know your grandpa ,and town like the back of your hand. You heard the teasing tone in your grandpa's voice and how his smile slightly betrayed him.

To the waynes it was a simple conversation just your grandpa telling you what they were talking about. But between you and your grandpa it was like mocking them. Which you've never seen your grandpa do. Especially not in the church. You knew that the people in your town had a hard time selling cows because of how possessive they are.

Your town was small because of its small number of people ,but it wasn't small in land. No it was quite the opposite ,in land. Your town was probably as big as gotham or maybe even bigger ,in land. Just not in people. And your town liked that. They liked what they owned. They liked having to work hard to keep what they have. Not only for themselves but for their children.

They found confort in knowing everyone in town. So did you. You smile kindly at what your grandpa says playing along in his 'teasing' manner.

"Well, that's exciting." You say staring at the women with the greenest eyes you've ever seen. "Well sunshine why don't you say hi to their children, they do look awfully lonely." Your grandpa says. Looking at their children, all boys ,sadly. Maybe if they were girls you'd have something to talk about ,but their boys. They do look rather lonely or maybe that's what your saying in your head to have some courage to go up to them.

Why your grandpas so sweet to these people you'll never know. You don't want to see these people any longer but you doubt they'll leave before the service and they have kids. Hopefully their kids aren't as rude.

"All right grandpa." You say hoping these people don't hurt your grandpas feelings. Your grandpa did have a sensitive heart after all.

Walking toward the group of boys you had began feeling nervous. What would you talk about. No, what could you talk about. They are nothing like you ,and if they were anything like their mother than you already disliked them.

Maybe it was God listening to you or just luck but before you had reached the boys. You heard someone call your name. To Your surprise it was Lola your bestie. She smiled widely as she waved at you. Quickly changing which direction you were walking you smiled back at her.

"You're actually early today." You say giving her a hug. "I know ,right. My mom wanted to come earlier to help with the food." Lola had said hugging you back. Lola family was usually almost late to church. So you didn't expect to see her so soon ,but oh how grateful you are that she's here today! Today was truly gonna be a good day...

"What were you doing before I came?" Lola asks breaking away from the hug. "Well some knew people came today. So my grandpa wanted me to welcome their kids and make them feel comfortable." You say slightly motioning to were the Wayne's kids are sitting. "So thats who parked in your parking spot ,today. " Lola says kind of shocked. "Yep , my mom was pretty angry." you say kind of laughing. "Well everyones already talking about it." Lola says.

"Do want to come say hi to them with me?" You question hoping she says yes. "Why not." She says shrugging her shoulders. "Come on." she says grabbing your hand and walking towards the wayne children.

Walking up to the group of boys the seem to stop talking about whatever they were talking about. And just stare at you and Lola. Standing in front of the boys your usually extroverted best friends mouth goes dry. You could definitely understand why. I mean these boys practically looked like models.

The silence was just to awkward so you had to swallow all the anxiety that you had and be the first to break it. "Hello my names y/n l/n." You say reaching out to shake their hands. The first boy that reaches out is not the tallest but does look like the oldest. He has black hair and baby blue eyes. "My names Dick." He says shaking your hand with a kind smile. He definitely was a sight to look at.

The next one is definitely the tallest. He has some what of a aggressive presence when you shake his hand and has a white streek in his hair. "The names jason." He says shaking your hand and you can tell he's forcing the smile he's giving you.

The third ones the smallest but you don't think he he's the youngest. "My names Tim Drake." He says gently shaking your hand. You can tell he's the more manned one by how he presents himself. He definitely seems friendly or atleast the less intimidating one.

Then you reach out to shake the last boys hand. He looks the youngest. He also resembles his mother and father the most. You look into his eyes as you shake his hands and notice their just like his mother's. "Damian." He says almost as low as a whisper but you heard what he said.

He looks as if he's glaring at you as you begin to speak but you ignore it. "We'll we just came to welcome you to our church. It's not everyday we get new guests." You say with the kindest smile you can manage.

"Well thank you. The people in gotham aren't nearly as nice as the people in your town are." The boy tim says. With a kind smile matching yours.

Your sure that if you were in a cartoon you'd have heart eyes right now. He was just so pretty.....Snapping yourself out of whatever trance you were in ,you begin to speak.

"Well, we try. So you guys live in gotham?" You say wanting to asking a million questions ,but you don't. "Yeah. Wait you don't know who we are. " The one that's named jason says. You slightly turn to look at him forgetting he was their for a moment. "No?" You say hoping to not embarres yourself. You are the niece of the mayor after all. Your supposed to know some important people.

"Well thats knew." Dick says as he scratches the back of his head. Almost like he's embarrassed that you don't know him. 'Who are these people.' You say in your head. But sadly the last name wayne just doesn't ring a bell. "N/n mama says that you need to help set up the stage." Your brother says running up to you. Thank goodness your brother saved you. You were literally about to pass out from embarrassment.

" ok , riley." You say gentle patting his head. An just as quickly as he came ,he left. "Well we have to go set up the stage ,but I hope you guys enjoy the service." You say grabbing Lolas hand. "Well thanks for talking to us." Dick says awkwardly and everyone slightly cringes at his words.

Finally getting enough distance from the Wayne's it's like you can breath agian. And you suppose Lola feels the same by how she Finally snaps out of the trance she was in. "They were sooooo hot!" Lola says practically jumping up and down.

You snicker at how excited she is. Even though she didn't say a word to them." Yeah hot enough to make you mute." You say. "Can ya blame me they look like angels. Especially the one with the blue eyes and straight hair. " She says walking up the stage stairs. "What was his name agian." She questions " Tim." You say smiling. " Of course you remember. You were practically drooling at him." She taunts but you know she's just teasing. You playfully roll your eyes and smile. "Come on we gotta get everything ready." You say nudging Lola's shoulder. "Yeah ,yeah gotta make sure everything's perfect for your future husband." Lola says nudging you back.

--------------------20 minutes later--------------------

They service began soon enough. You watched from you seat behind the preacher were all the choir members sit. You watch as everyone takes their seats and watch as the Wayne's sit near the front. You can practically feel your mother's anger from were you are. The guest never sit up front. Never.

Your grandpa began to preach as he usually did. With confidence and pride. You can tell he loved what he did and you admired him for that. While some might say that this was the best service your grandpa ever preached. The Wayne's seemed to differ. The Wayne's were obviously different then the people in your town ,but did they have to look like they were in pain while your grandpa preaches?

Soon enough it was your choirs time to sing the closing songs. You sang with confidence and peace as you usually did. But you couldnt shake the shiver that ran down your spine as you saw the Wayne's families eyes stare at you like you were an object.

Like you were prey.

You obviously don't understand that, that's what you are to them. Prey.

-💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗-

Thanks for reading!!!!!

[readychilledwine]

Hello. First of all thank you for that post, it amazing and no one has ever responded. I would like you to write another story of az where they have a child and she and her child get kidnapped. And she dies trying to the child. Az goes bolistic. (If u don't want the reader to die it's cool with me. Whatever u think is best). Thank u and have an amazing day ahead.

Eeeeee. This made little pregnant brain go meeeeep. I kind of changed it up. I didn't want to actively kill the reader, because I can't imagine Azriel ever pulling himself back together after that. I just imagine if Azriel found someone he loved enough to have a child with, it would devastate him. So. I put a spin on it. if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, I can create a world where he finds a mate and heals with her, but that wound would always be there, and that creates angst. So this is loosely based on the aftermath of your request. I'm sorry it isn't perfect.

Replacement

Warnings - trauma, mention of torture, Az being kind of an ass.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

The words echoed in your mind. You aren't his mother! Azriel had screamed them at you so carelessly. Just because Xiden had come to you for a booboo. Just because Xiden had called you "mommy" and Azriel had heard it. How dare you seriously think you can replace her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You loved your mate's son. You loved that little illyrian more than you could form into words. Shock had fallen into your own bones after he called you mommy and kissed your cheek, though. That wasn't a threshold you had meant to cross. It was an unspoken line in the sand. You were not his mother, and Azriel had managed to remind you quickly and make you feel so small over one word uttered by a child.

Your relationship with the two started a few years ago. You were Nyx and Xiden's private nanny. Rhysand had met you once in a volunteer childcare center. The two of you had talked about everything you had found important in raising little ones, and the High Lord brought you to his mate instantly. They had been looking for childcare whose values aligned with theirs for weeks, and Feyre, with tears of relief in her eyes, hired you on the spot and made a pay offer you would have been stupid to turn down.

You spent time with the two young boys constantly. You three would spend countless hours giggling. Your life ranged from cooking with them, playing with them, snuggling them, and doing basic school lessons with them, but mostly teaching them how to be good fae, teaching them right from wrong, showing them how to love and respect themselves and others.

Nyx was wonderful. You adored the little heir. But there was something about the way Xiden would hold your hand when you three would go for walks, the way he constantly searched for your approval. You can't remember if it was the first night he ran to your guest room on an extended care stay and buried himself so deep into your arms and pillows that made you love him, or if it was the solstice gift he drew of you, him, and Nyx that hung framed in your living room that sealed the deal, but you loved Xiden. Unconditionally and unexpectedly.

You had finally asked Feyre one night about his mother when she came over to bring you a birthday gift from the Inner Circle and the boys. Azriel had appeared after she told you gently Xiden's mother had died. He had the little male in tow. He had his wings tucked in so tight around him and his little footie pajamas and that made your heart tighten as he ran to you. 

The bond snapped for Azriel as you were kneeled down, holding his son and comforting him. It snapped for you when you woke up to the male shirtless in your kitchen, making breakfast for the three of you after Xiden refused to leave.

There was no going back after that. Xiden had a room at your apartment now. You had things in their home. You and Azriel told each other everything. Well, almost everything. He still had not told you about his former love or where she was.  Xiden had done it late one night after another screaming fit woke him up and had him crawling into bed with you.

I watched momma die, you had tried to tell him it was just a bad dream. But when his eyes met yours and he shook his little head, you shattered into pieces. I watched it, miss y/n. I watched them hurt momma.

You had approached Azriel about it gently, holding his hand as he closed you out. You didn't push the issue at all, knowing he'd tell you when he was ready to. You had, however, pushed for him to enroll Xiden into therapy with Madja.

That was almost 8 months ago now, though. Tonight had been the breaking point. It stung, knowing the male you adored had all but dismissed his son's feelings, and your own, without giving you a single explanation of why. You had left his home in silence despite him calling for you. You had shielded yourself for the time and sealed the bond so deeply into your heart that you couldn't feel him, and he couldn't feel you. 

You curled deeper into the bed, holding your blanket tight against yourself as you cried. You had no interest in replacing Xiden's mom. You never set that as a goal in this relationship. You just wanted to love Azriel, love his son. You wanted to support them, be there for them. 

A loud knock came at your door, and you ignored it. Then another, more insistent than the next, and finally, your door just opened. You knew it was him, that he had picked the lock. He made his way to your bedroom, opening the door without knocking and moving to sit on the bed next to you. 

"I'm sorry, y/n," his hand found your hip as he tried to get your attention. "I lashed out, and I shouldn't have. It's just- It's hard. Knowing she should be here, but isn't."

"I never wanted to replace her, Az. I never asked to fill that role." You voice sounded as broken as you knew it would. Hours of crying finally had begun to show damage.

"I know, love. I know."

"You won't even tell me what happened to them. All I can do is offer him whatever I can based on what I know, and then i get yelled at for it. How can I comfort him, help him, and support him when I don't know the full story. How can I support YOU when I don't even know what happened?"

His jaw tightened as he looked at you. He had been avoiding this conversation for too long, and now it had come to a head. "When Xiden was 4, he and his mother were visiting her parents in Illyria without my knowledge." Azriel looked up, blinking tears away as his throat grew tight. "I had made a few enemies in the camp they went to, and they took them. It took us 3 weeks to find them and track them down. By time we got there, she was gone. Xiden was.." His jaw tightened again. "He was traumatized. He had watched them rape, beat, and torture his mother for weeks. He was starved, sleep deprived, and disassociated from us completely. I only added to that trauma by slaughtering every single male in that place without thinking about the fact that he was right there."

"He wouldn't let me touch him for weeks. He ran to Rhys and Cassian instead of me. And it killed me." Azriel was biting his lip, shadows stilled and wrapped around him as his wings also pulled in. "I will never forget her lifeless eyes, her body, her bruised face. I will never forget my son's broken mind and soul. I will never forgive myself for what happened to them."

You sat up, running a hand up and down his back and between his wings. "It wasn't your fault, Az. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

He broke then, sobbing out a gentle I know as he broke down. "I just don't want him to forget her, how much she loved him, how much she sacrificed for him."

"He won't," you said firmly. "He never will. He's six, Az. He remembers his momma. He knows I am not her." Azriel nodded. "Az, you need to forgive yourself. You can't move forward, and Xiden can't move forward, with this cloud hanging here." Another silent nod as he leaned further into your touch. "You need to give yourself permission to be happy, to move on, and to take care of him without being scared of the world."

"It's just so hard," you nodded this time, kissing between his shoulder blades. "I loved her so fucking much."

"I know. Her picture is still up in your office. I make sure to dust it every day. You also have some of her dresses still. A few of her blankets." His shoulders fell, guilt flooding the now empty bond. "Don't," you whispered. "Don't feel guilty for loving the mother of your child. Don't feel guilty for wanting to honor her memory." 

"Please come back." Azriel sounded broken at the confession he was about to make. "He can't sleep when you aren't there." You nodded, grabbing a bag to pack an outfit for tomorrow. 

Azriel watched you moving through the room in silence. "I wanted to talk about you moving in," you froze on the spot. "Or us finding somewhere for the 3 of us."

"Az-"

"I fucked that up, though, didn't I?" You shook your head, rushing to him and throwing yourself onto him and the bed. "Or maybe I didn't?"

"Of course I want to move in with you two." Your response was muffled into his neck. You could feel his smile grow. 

"Perfect." He said.

"Perfect." You agreed. 

[bethanydelleman]

Hello!

I rewatched Pride and Prejudice and it's surprising how my thoughts on it changed over the years 😃

When I was a teenager, Elizabeth Bennet was the plucky heroine that I wanted to be (lol) , now I'm older with a mortgage and responsibilities/bills, I'm like what was her plan in life?

Because she wasn't really educated per se (im thinking about how she answered lady Catherine about what she has to recommend her re:drawing, playing the piano etc) so I guess a 'career'(no matter how little it would be available at that time) was out of the question, but accepting marraige to the (admittedly obsequious) Mr Collins was also out of the question as well as Mr Darcys first proposal (which I get why sge turned it down!) ...I guess I'm asking what Elizabeth's plan for her future.

I've heard this from a lot of people upon re-read, "Why isn't Elizabeth more worried about her future?" I think there are a few things to note.

Early 1800s or not, Elizabeth is 20 years old when the novel begins (the average age of first marriage for women was 23). 27 year old Charlotte is in more of a future panic, but Elizabeth is still young. She has done practical thing like learn to play piano, but like most young people, she's probably just hoping for the best. And it's not like there is much she can actually do, Elizabeth is putting herself out there, she's dancing, she's playing piano, but otherwise she can just hurry up and wait. Her mother's marriage schemes are seen as vulgar and mostly backfire, and we would hardly want Elizabeth to act like Caroline. We read across Austen's novel's that women are largely stationary and it is the men who move in and out of their lives.

Also, I think a big part of Austen's point is that women are in a position where they feel the need to accept any and every proposal, because as Mr. Collins says, they may never receive another, but that this leads to misery (just look at the older couples and how many of them are unhappy!). While somewhat foolish from a financial perspective, Elizabeth is thinking about her long term happiness. She has watched her father turn bitter in an unequal relationship, she does not want that for herself. Elizabeth is choosing possible spinsterhood over being married to a person she knows she could not respect. Marrying for love, or at least on a basis of respect, is a big theme in Austen's novels. Let me add this quote from Mansfield Park to illustrate this point:

“I should have thought,” said Fanny, after a pause of recollection and exertion, “that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man’s not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.... And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply.”

So yes, Elizabeth Bennet isn't being financially prudent but she is being sensible in preserving her happiness. And for realism, we know Austen made this decision herself! She turned down an eligible offer.

Next, Mrs. Bennet is somewhat exaggerating: they are very unlikely to starve or be destitute. While it is never explicitly stated, Mr. Gardiner seems to be doing very well, and would probably very happily take at least Jane and Elizabeth if Mr. Bennet died. Mr. Philips is also doing well for a country attorney, he could take in his sister-in-law and nieces. It is going to suck, the Bennets should have planned better, but it's not the end of the world. We also do not know Mr. Bennet's age, but he may well only be in his late forties. He's no Mr. Woodhouse who may die tomorrow in a stiff breeze.

So what is Elizabeth's plan? She doesn't have one, she's 20. She's hoping life will throw her a man with a decent income that she doesn't hate. It works out in the end, but I don't think she would live to regret either turned down proposal if she had never met Darcy again.

[wilcze-kudly]

The Gaang being 'bad parents' didn't ruin their characters.

I've seen this argument tossed around a couple times and it's honestly one of my least favourite criticisms of lok.

Katara (and Sokka but we have no confirmed kids for him, which seems unrealistic with how much game he had) lost their mother as children and their father was forced to abandon them when they were barely starting their teens. They were raised by their grandmother with little to no peers of their own age.

Aang did not know his parents and a huge chunk of his childhood was him being groomed into taking up the mantle of the avatar and mastering airbending. He also was isolated from other kids his age. His closest parental figure was Gyatso who was more of a teacher than a father. Also the Air Nomads were literally wiped out so that adds to the trauma pile.

I really don't think i have to talk about Zuko's family life here, but at least he had relatively positive parental figures in the form of Ursa (though i do have a burning personal dislike of ursa) and Iroh. Despite this his struggle around the subject of his family and his trauma relating to his upbringing was a focal point of his character arc.

Toph was raised in isolation by her asshole abelist parents who did not listen to her, sent people to capture and bring her back and then disowned her. (If my cursory understanding of 'the rift' is correct, I need to actually read it because i am unreasonably obsessed with the Beifong family.)

Where, pray tell, were they supposed to learn proper parenting skills? On their brief stint as child soldiers? While fighting a war as literal children?

There is the argument that they must've matured later in their lives, of course. But you can only recover so much from copious amounts of childhood trauma.

Being a bad parent doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Sure it makes you a failure in an incredibly delicate and important aspect of human life but it doesn't make you a bad person. And saying that it does takes a lot of nuance out of the conversation.

Like, do you know how easy it is to fuck up a child?

Especially that the ways the members of the Gaang 'fucked up' as parents feel mostly in character.

Bumi was going to face some struggles with self worth due to being the firstborn child of the Avatar and arguably one of the most powerful waterbenders in history, while being a nonbender himself. That much was unavoidable, no matter how his parents approached the issue.

And Aang was obviously going to be over the moon when Tenzin was born. Think about it. He's literally the last of his people. He has no one else 'like him'. No one else to pass down the traditions, the teachings that Gyatso and everyone else he cared about and who were horrifically murdered to. Aang is getting older and he feels like his culture and history and his entire life before he got trapped in that damned iceberg will die along with him. And then Tenzin is born and Tenzin can take up the mantle that had been thrust upon Aang.

I'm going to withhold my judgement on Izumi and Zuko, since we barely know anything about them. She seems well adjusted but that's all i can say right now. But Zuko has also been shown to be extremely, painfully aware of how fucked up his family is and has clearly been putting in a lot of work to unscrew what his ancestors have screwed up.

Toph situation feels very tragic to me,because it's obvious that she thought she thought she was doing better than her parents. She gave her daughters the freedom to do what they want, to not feel opressed and trapped like she had. How was she supposed to know that she was making her girls feel like she didn't love them? (Here's another post of mine about the Beifong family and how they just feel like they're cursed or something at this point.)

TLDR; I get annoyed by people saying that the Gaang being 'bad parents' ruined their characters, because to me it felt like it actually enhanced them.

Neither Aang nor Toph acted out of malice or a lack of love. On the contrary, Toph was trying not to repeat her parents mistakes, accidentally committing a bunch of her own. While Aang probably didn't even realise that he was neglecting Kya and Bumi.

But just loving your children doesn't always make you a good parent.

I think these flaws only add to them as characters. It makes them feel more real.

It's unrealistic and, frankly, just plain boring to go 'oh the Gaang were all good people so they would be good parents too.'

The Gaang were a gaggle of traumatised children forced into saving the world, because the adults around them failed them, that then grew into traumatised adults who have no idea how to be good parents.

[jolenes-doppelganger]

honestly any Rebecca Ferguson character x fem!reader preferably Lady Jessica but whatever works for you hurt/comfort maybe a lil smut idk I just read the Phantom whispers (?) fic and it was soooo good

[Hi, anon! Welcome to Iola's first crack fic! :D (No smut, I'm not feeling it. But giggles!]

Rearing the Muad'Dib

Reverend Mother Jessica x Fem! Fremen Reader

Summary: What happens when a stubborn teenage boy finds a pack of tiny mice while Jessica requires assistance? Cock Mice blocking.

Warnings: Slight NSFW undertones, allusions to sex, almost sex multiple times, and Reader + Jessica being walked in on right before doing the deed. (I'm not counting this as NSFW because it isn't QUITE smut. Equivalent of seeing an almost sex scene in a film). Implied animal abandonment.

A/N: This fic gave me LIFE to write! Usually I'm not a fan of open requests, but this fell within the time frame of a fun idea I had. Thus, crack fic. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k

The Muad’Dib were sacred to the Fremen. They represented a vital part of their ecosystem, the structure of the mouse’s ears had taught them how to catch water from the air. They were also wise in the ways of the desert, so much so that the Fremen often saw themselves in them. Just as they had mystified the young Paul, they mystified the Fremen. Some of them. To the Fremen with food to eat, they were a symbol of hope. To the Fremen opening up flour bags riddled with turds and urine, they were a curse.

Paul had taken a strange name, in your opinion. Sure, the desert mouse was arguably fitting for a boy scrawny and thin compared to the Fremen boys his age, but it felt too on the nose. You supposed it was a quirk of his character, his desire to label himself as anything but the savior. The honesty, a trait he must have gotten from his father. Though you never met the man, you knew it didn’t come from the woman with eyes too angular to be high born, too familiar to be considered foreign. You tolerated the both of them, mostly Paul. That was until he came back into the Fremen sietch with a load of baby mice. They were tiny, the size of your thumb, and the boy dumped them on you.

“They need help.” Paul insisted, the teenager crossing his arms stubbornly.

You looked up at the man child with exhausted disbelief, then back at the squirming pouch of hairless mice.

“Paul, the desert is in control of the life cycles of the mice. We as Fremen do not intervene.” you sighed, explaining with more condescension than necessary.

“I disrupted the nest walking, it’s my fault.” he ardently insisted, brow furrowed.

You took a deep, long breath in through your nose. This boy was annoying, stubborn, and yet he was gaining power by the second in the Fremen camp. His mother was helping with that.

“I don’t have time to nurse baby mice, Paul. Return them to the desert where you found them.” 

“I’ve been carrying them for seven days.”

“And feeding them with what, exactly?”

“... Rice water.”

The gall of this boy. To waste water? Rice water? On mice? Not even cute ones, little squirming sacks of flesh, not enough to make a handful.

“I don’t have time, take them back.”

“But Stilgar said-”

“Unless I hear it from Stilgar himself, I am not raising mice babies.” you put your foot down.

Paul stayed quiet, eyes flickering upward. The wheezing nature of Stilgar’s breathing, what you assumed to be a deviated septum, made it clear that the man had been lurking for long enough to hear you deny the prophesied savior of Arrakis. He was like a serpent, this man. Slithering between rocks and striking at the moment of weakness. And that meant you now had to change your tune before the man drove a stick through your ass.

“… If they die under my care, I will not be held liable, I have other responsibilities to attend to.”

“Like what?” Stilgar’s southern Fremen accent cut in.

“Like attending to the Reverend Mothers.” you spoke, using the plural for Jessica and her strange child.

Stilgar let out an amused snort. 

“Take the mice babies and go attend to the woman.”

You did as the sietch leader told you, not bothering to do more than nod. Unbeknownst to you, the conversation continued.

“Muad’Dib.” Stilgar sighed. “You are a good fighter. You learn the ways of the desert quickly. But you are stupid. Like a hamster. Balls bigger than brains.”

Paul went silent, nodding once. Stilgar was blunt, more vulgar than Gurney had been, calmer than Dr. Yueh.

“I merely want to ensure the continuation of the ecosystem.”

“No. The desert has a balance.” Stilgar made a gesture. “Too much life, too little water. The desert balances out everything on its own. You do not recognize that trampling on a nest was the desert working through you.”

Paul, to his credit, nodded.

“I see.”

“Good. Now take the mice back from that poor woman you’ve burdened.”

“But you said-“

“No. I supported you in front of her because I am your teacher. But in private I will not tolerate such stupid mistakes.” Stilgar said, voice gentle and level, but firm. 

Paul nodded, trudging off in the direction of his mother’s chambers. Sure enough, the baby mice were sat in a container that trapped water. It was warm too. He supposed it was fitting. Two pairs of feet could be seen, in an odd position. Two right feet together, and two left, like one person was sitting in another’s lap. Well no shit Paul, that was what was happening.

“Mother, I…”

Paul trailed off as he took in the scene. His mother leaning into the front of the Fremen woman from before, her hands rubbing over his mother’s swelling, bare abdomen. Bare abdomen. 

“What is this?” he grew defensive, using anger to substitute his embarrassment at having walked in on a sensual scene.

“I am massaging the skin to loosen the tension.” you replied, not stopping for him.

Jessica hardly stirred, head lolling back against you. Her brow was relaxed, fine lines disappearing as she was tended to.

“Paul, what is it?” she sighed.

“The Muad’Dib pups.”

Both you and Jessica groaned internally. The crease in her brow returned.

“Stilgar said I need to release them back into the desert.”

Jessica clicked her tongue in annoyance. She had been so close to tempting the Fremen girl into going farther. Too close.

“So do that.” she retorted.

Paul fixed you with a look. It was like playing chicken. He wouldn’t back down, and neither would you. The object of debate? Jessica. How you were handling Jessica. The crease in her brow remained. You kissed it away, hands still massaging oil into her belly. His face went red.

“Does Alia appreciate that?” he snidely commented.

“She does.” you replied, massaging carefully.

“Ah.” Paul said, giving the nastiest bitch glare a boy of fifteen could muster.

But seriously, who could blame him? He was watching someone put moves on his pregnant, prophecy riddled mother. It was enough to make him vomit. Or anyone vomit.

“Paul, take the mice and go.” Jessica groaned, pulling one of your hands lower, massaging the crevice between her stomach and her hip bone.

Paul reached for the mice. Then he paused.

“They’re in your care. You said you’d take care of them.” Paul countered.

“Paul, don’t be intentionally thick. Stilgar said to release them, so do so.” Jessica instructed, voice getting tight.

“Well they’re hers. Shouldn’t she do it?”

“No. You brought the mice, they’re your responsibility. Leave (Reader) out of this.”

You added more of the reclaimed oil to your palm, continuing to massage the swelling tissue of Jessica’s stomach. Paul still continued to stand there with a comically disgusted look on his face.

“You’re wasting water.”

“Paul, this oil does not evaporate quickly. Most will be absorbed into the skin. The moisture that escapes will be collected again.” you replied, voice even.

Jessica lay still. Then she cracked both eyes open, almost glaring her son down.

“The mice.” she ordered, blue eyes sparking with fire.

Paul skittered away, taking the tiny cup of mice and leaving. Jessica waited for the boy to leave, grabbing your hand again, bringing it down beneath the light blanket covering her hips, down, down, down….

“Oh!” Jessica gasped. “Yes!”

You kissed her shoulder, slowly moving your fingers over that tiny, pulsing…

“Wait!” you heard Paul say, giving you about three seconds to pull your hand out of Jessica’s crotch before he stormed in. “These mice are holy. They cannot be left to die.”

Jessica’s hands clenched against the fabric of the blanket, taking in a long exhale through the nose.

“Paul. Out. Now.” she snapped.

“What, am I interrupting your massage?” he sassed.

Jessica was seething. What about six little thumb sized mice had him so riled up? Stubborn. A stubborn idiot of a boy. Her idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.

“How do you think you were created, huh?” Jessica huffed. “Or her?” she pointed to her stomach.

Paul’s jaw dropped, looking between you and Jessica with growing moral outrage and embarrassment.

“Alia? While Alia is there?”

Jessica pulled her dress down, ensuring her entire body was covered before pulling off the blanket.

“The mice. If you want them to live, attend to them yourself.” Jessica snapped. “You’ve exhausted my patience.”

Paul huffed, walking off. You stood with Jessica, quietly taking her arms in your hands.

“Jessica, what about…?”

“I’ve lost the mood.” Jessica sighed, adjusting the fabric of her dress over her abdomen. “Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize. You look tired. A nap, perhaps?”

Jessica nodded, working her way towards the cot. You helped her lay down, propping her on her side with pillows and other comfy things.

“I’ll figure out the mice thing. You just rest.”

“Hmm.” she smiled, for just a moment.

You had some other matters to attend to. Matters best done while the Reverend Mother slept.

←→

Paul was awful at caring for little things, you deduced. It was a miracle he’d kept these mice alive at all up to this point. He cradled them wrong, fed them wrong, housed them poorly. The list was endless.

“Paul, no. You use the tiny straws with the thumb pressing on top to maintain the vacuum.” 

“Yeah, well I am!”

“No, you let too much pressure out and nearly drown them when the water comes out too fast. If your mother was here to see how much water you were wasting, she’d hang us both.”

Paul huffed, finally exerting himself to the micro attentions required to feed the mice. You huffed, focusing on feeding all six of the tiny mouse pups.

“What happens when they’re adults, hmm? They won’t be fit to live in the dunes.”

Paul rolled his eyes.

“Don’t sass your elders.” you scowled. “This is a genuine concern.”

“I’m not. You’re like five, six, maybe seven years older than me.”

“I’m a Sayyadina. A junior priestess. I outrank you, and I have sway with your mother.”

Paul let out an angry grumble.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s gross. My mother really loved my father. You’re just entertainment.” Paul glowered.

You didn’t answer, focusing your energy towards feeding one of the comically small mice pups. Soft footsteps came down the hallway, another Sayyadina whispering in Chakobsa. You nodded, setting the mini straw and mice pup down.

“Where are you going?” Paul got defensive.

“To go sway your mother.” you retorted.

Paul flushed crimson, and you chuckled a bit. He’d made it too easy.

The other Sayyadina led you to her chambers, not that you needed an escort or a guide. She delivered you to her door, as was custom. But not before whispering excitedly to you.

“Paul is raising mice? Everyone’s talking about it. He’s so sweet, caring for such tiny pups.”

“Well, he’s terrible at it. Don’t be-”

“Enough chatter.” Jessica called. “I require her, Harah.”

The Sayyadina, Harrah, blushed in shame to be caught speaking in such a way of Jessica’s son. You watched her skitter away, leaving you to breeze past the cloth drape separating Jessica’s chambers from the rest of the communal sietch living area.

“I assume you’re here to reprimand me.” 

Jessica wrinkled her nose, waving away the statement like a pesky insect.

“No, no. It’s not my largest concern what the… Just come here.”

You smiled, simultaneously relieved and curious for what she required. You settled at her side, hands cautiously reaching for hers.

“This pregnancy… The bloodflow gets concentrated, you see. And I wake up just so inflamed.” she smirked, pulling you closer by your forearms. “Being my chosen confidant and healer, could you inspect me?”

It was a bawdy proposition, one that drew your mind right back to where the two of you had left off. Jessica let out a hum, pulling her skirts over her hips, laying on her back as you crawled forwards.

“Be most accommodating and skip the teasing. I don’t need it.” Jessica husked.

You nodded, bringing your face between her thighs, inhaling the concentrated smell of her sex, mouth opening, tongue extending-

“Reverend Mother, your boy is causing a ruckus.” Stilgar boomed, strolling into the tent without regard for a warning.

You reacted quickly, covering your Reverend’s body with your own until she managed to cover herself. Stilgar tilted his body, looking up at the ceiling.

“The rumors are true.” he nodded, smiling in his dumb way.

“Enough.” Jessica huffed. “What is this ruckus you speak of?”

Stilgar, still amused at having walked in on an almost moment between the Reverend and her favored Sayyadina did not change his demeanor.

“Paul is raising mice and wasting water. I want it to stop.”

“I told the boy-”

“Ahh, but you are not the only problem here.” Stilgar waggled his finger. “Someone taught him to feed them using tiny straws.”

Jessica looked up at you, crossing her arms.

“You said you were going to take care of it.”

You had said that. She wasn’t wrong.

“I’ll make him take them into the dunes.”

“No, no you won’t.”Jessica snapped, slowly pulling herself to her feet. “I will. And you will sit on this cot and not move until I am done.”

Both Jessica and Stilgar left the room, leaving you to sit and think about what you did until Jessica returned. It was boring. There were limited ways to tell time inside the sietch, thus time passed slowly mostly. But this wait? Eternal. A pair of boots stomped into the room, and angry, flushed in the face Paul staring at you.

“She just dumped them in the dunes.”

All you could do was sigh and nod.

“It was the right thing to do.”

“No, no it wasn’t!” Paul insisted. “They’re holy! They’re special mice, they collect water with their ears-”

“And they burrow into our food stores and eat our flour and grain!” you snapped. “They’re pests! The desert is a merciful, swift way to die. They will be fine.”

Paul stood there, chest heaving and face flushed.

“She just left them.” Paul huffed.

His expression and emotions weren’t correlated to the issue at hand.

“This isn’t about the mice, is it?” you asked quietly. 

“No. No it’s not. My Father died and she moved on in a few months. It’s not fair. It’s like she never loved him.” Paul huffed.

Standing on two feet, you walked over to the distraught, comically skinny teenage boy.

“She does. She mourns him every night. Mostly in silence. Some nights she calls me to her chambers to catch her tears when she isn’t strong enough to bear the pain. I’m a comfort. And you will learn that sex and closeness with another can be a coping mechanism for some.” you answered, squeezing his shoulders. “I’m not replacing the man your mother loved. I’m just here to help her along and keep her upright on the days where getting up seems impossible.”

Paul stayed still. He processed quietly.

“Okay.” he said, not convinced.

“I’m a bit like how Chani is to you. She’s a companion on your journey. You lift each other up. You aren’t life partners quite yet, but you mean something to one another.”

The boy took deep, heaving breaths, restraining himself from tears. You knew how hard it was. 

“Paul.” came Jessica’s gentle alto, drifting in from the entrance to her room. “I miss him every day.”

Paul turned, mother and son meeting each other's eyes, both restraining their own tears. You bid him goodbye with a squeeze, leaving the room for their privacy. When Jessica sent for you a few hours later, Paul was asleep on the cot. Her arms found your waist, and she offered a rare kiss.

“Thank you. We needed that conversation.” Jessica murmured.

You smiled, awkwardly holding her, even with her large belly in the way. Her hands strayed, taking slow paths down your shoulders and spine.

“Perhaps we can thank each other.” Jessica whispered.

“Paul is right there.” you whispered, a bit mortified.

“He won’t hear.” she promised, attempting to pull you behind a folding privacy screen.

“I heard that.” Paul sleepily commented.

Jessica, the poor, pregnant Jessica with an inflamed body, sore feet and an aching, lost it. For just a moment. The madness flickered in her eyes before she took a deep breath in. Paul stumbled to his feet, walking towards the door. 

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving.” he sighed, slipping past the sietch curtains.

You didn’t get a break, Jessica’s mouth finding your neck to lay several long kisses there. Clothes went flying, both of you skipping the presumptives after a day of having been interrupted again and again by Paul’s antics. Jessica’s legs were over your shoulders, your mouth finally encircling her aching core when a little hand pressed out. The string of cuss words spilling from Jessica’s lips was all you needed to know.

Alia had woken up. 

Tag list: @ilovehotactresses @marvelwomenrule @midnight-lestrange @bjoerkumlaut, @lovelyy-moonlight, @coffee-is-my-oxygen, @appparadox407

Send an ask/ message to be added. Ageless bios added to SFW category by default.

[lucysarah-c]

WE NEED AN ENTIRE STORY OF LEVI AS A BABY BOY DADDY! LIKE PLEASE ITS ACTUALLY TOO GOOD 🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭

You all have inspired me to write a one-shot, so I'll post it soon. Thank you so much!

But since I'm on it, I think I'll give you a few headcanons.

In my idea, Levi didn't have many children, and while sometimes my scenarios may change depending on the situation, mostly Levi's boy would be an only child. This wasn't Levi's original idea, and I'll explain why.

Leaving aside whether in the canon period of time there are real contraceptives or not, I 100% believe Levi is a highly meticulous guy. If he needs to pull out and count days in the old-fashioned way, he will. If he has to wear condoms every single time, he will. I believe Levi would try to make sure that if he ever has a child, it would be planned, as far as is humanly possible, of course. Sometimes contraceptives fail, etc.

In my mind, I believe Levi and Y/N decided or happened to have a kid around the time before the expedition to Wall Maria. There was about half a year when the scouts waited for the correct time to do the expedition to Wall Maria. Well, I believe she probably got pregnant around that time. I believe it was a mix between Levi transitioning a lot of emotions after Kenny's death, etc., and having more free time on his hands since they weren't doing expeditions while preparing for the mission… and well… let's say they decided to go handy, haha.

With that said… I think Levi would hardly admit it out loud, but he's one of those guys who always wanted to be parents, so they kinda said, "You know what? Fuck it, if it happens, it happens," and well, it happened almost immediately. Levi hears the news around two months later, and let me tell you, this man is all over the moon. He wants to be part of EVERYTHING. For me, Levi wants to prove that he is better than the men who failed his mother and also failed him. Levi wants to prove he can be a present father.

She goes to the doctor for just a check, he wants to be there. Better keep his man informed because he would ask a million questions. He's a first-time father, and she may sneeze, and he's all worried. Levi saw too many women die in childbirth or from difficult pregnancies in the underground. He's blessed with the chance of being a father, but also terrified. Levi feels that if he loses his love just because he "grew selfish" and asked for more (aka asked for a kid), he would feel horrible.

Anyways, back in the day, men waited outside during birth, and I believe they would try to kick Levi out of the room, and he would be like, "and who is going to stop me?" He wants to be there.

Now is when his baby boy comes into the picture. I believe, and God bless the mother, he was such a healthy CHUNKY boy. He was BIG. Those kinds of kids that look so healthy but at the same time, it's like "he literally sucked her dry, that baby took anything the mother has to offer."

Like, she's too tired after childbirth, and the nurses offer Levi feeding bottles with milk to keep the baby eating while the mother rests… and the baby is EATING to the point a doctor comes, pats Levi's arm playfully, and says, "Hope you've a good salary, Captain, because that kid is going to eat like a horse."

Perhaps these are the only few times that Levi is the most excited out of the two, she's tired from all the work, and Levi is over the moon. Ah, but don't you dare to touch his baby without washing your hands. If Levi could force you to take a bath in chlorine before even getting close to his baby, he would.

Aside from that, I think Levi's baby boy that I've named in my mind "Adrien" because Y/N thinks that naming her kids with A's to match the last name, especially since Ackerman's are finally able to not be in hiding.

In my mind, Adrien inherits Kenny's height. Yes, as you heard, KENNY'S HEIGHT. 190cm (6'3"). He's a big boy. I think it's funny that all the doctors check the baby and say, "haha, he's going to be tall!" and Levi is there looking at her like "… I don't like to admit I'm short as fuck, but if the kid isn't mine you can tell me," joking obviously, lmao.

"Levi, the kid is a photocopy of you."

Adrien is an extremely playful, happy, and hyperactive kid. He's so cheerful, and it makes Levi wish his mother was around so he could ask if he was such a cheerful kid too.

Chunky fat legs running down the halls as he doesn't even speak properly, but he already knows which office is daddy's office. He loves horses, he loves playing soldier, he loves being a daddy's boy.

This is when I mention that I believe Levi having a single child wasn't his original plan. I think he wished to give Adrien a sibling to make sure he won't be alone in life if anything ever happens to him as he was. But the whole rumbling happened, and after that, Levi was too busy trying to move him and his family outside of Paradise and after that settling down, taking care of Gabi and Falcon, that well time flew, and when everything was back to calmness, haha, well let's say that Levi had to admit that the train had left the station, and his energy to go back to change diapers had kinda withdrawn, lmao.

Finally, I think Adrien was a very hyperactive kid mainly because of the Ackerman genes. He has energy, he has strength, he has the abilities. He just has too much bottled up and doesn't know how to get tired. Levi is basically running around making sure the kid isn't jumping from the roof or climbing the kitchen cupboards. He probably ends up signing him up for a bunch of activities: baseball, self-defense classes, football, triathlon.

I have a bunch of other headcanons, so let me know if you want more!"

Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @i-literally-cant-with-this @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @s0meb0dy-0nce-t0ld-me @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @flxrartsstuff @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[theinheriteddutchess]

Out Of Time

Pairing: Ari Levinson x reader

Summary: You hate Ari. It's not a secret to him. Your father died protecting you, and you would die to protect your bother. But he's waited almost 10 years, time's running out, and he won't let you go that easily.

Word count: almost 2400

Warnings: threat of death, Ari is a jerk, mentions of previous death, werewolf Pack have different rules and morals, yandere!Ari, nothing explicit

Notes: randomly started writing this a while ago, found out I actually liked it. Might make more if I get inspiration, but I will follow where the wind blows me, so until then it's a stand alone. Would love to hear if you like it, reblog ,comments, ask. I don't bite (only Sebastian Stan's butt is under threat).💕

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

It was a mistake. He didn't deserve to be punished so severely. He was only a little boy.

But rules were strict in this pack. You behaved, or they made you behave. Still, death seemed to be too harsh for an nine year old. He had taken the mating necklace. But he was not thinking further than trying it, having admired it from a distance. He probably hadn't known what it was for, because Ari hadn’t used it yet. But it was sometimes talked about. Something the pack Alpha owned. He had just been looking up to his Alpha. Wanting to be like him.

You didn't feel the same way about Ari. You knew all about the rules. And Ari had proven to follow them strictly. That's how he killed your father. 

You never looked at him the same. 

You were repulsed by your mother, who kept telling you Ari had been young and still needed to establish his position. 

He had been young. Twenty-two. Young for a pack Alpha. But he had always been strong. He had challenged the previous leader, Andy, who had been gentler. Andy was kinder in his approach, gave a little more leeway. It had cost him though. Ari had been coming off his rut, full of adrenaline, and Andy had let his guard down. Before you knew it, there had been a fight and soon Andy laid lifelessly on the ground. 

Ari was Pack leader, and he wasn't as kind. He made it clear he demanded absolute obedience. And his height, as well as the weight in muscle he carried around, oozed dominance which most wolves didn't dare challenge.

Your father had soon been killed after. He had tried to shield you from the cruel Alpha and it had cost him his life. Still, his death did protect you. It was honorable to not pursue you after. And in your mind the last mate you wanted to have was him. 

Your mother mated again with someone else, too soon for your liking, and Mico was born shortly after. Life had to go on, even if you silently resented it.

But now your brother was to be put to death. And terror swept through you as you raced to reason with Ari. You had little hope you would get through him. But you had to try.

As you halted in front of his den, you breathed heavily. You tried to calm your racing heart, tried to gather your thoughts. You needed to be calm. 

You stepped inside, and waited at the entrance, if you got in any further you would have a big chance to be punished yourself and then your brother stood no chance.

“I expected you would come.” It sounded from further inside. You couldn't see him yet. The shadow shielding him effectively. 

“He's my brother. Of course I would.” You replied. You kept your eyes on the ground. It was a sign of respect, but mostly you did it because his face disgusted you. You didn't know how you could pretend otherwise. 

“So let's hear it. I'm assuming you're going to beg for his life?”

You gnashed your teeth. The mocking tone in his voice annoying you greatly, but what could you do?

“He's only nine. you know it wasn't done to disrespect you. In fact, there's no other he admires more.”

“And yet it was disrespectful.” he answered calmly. Deceivingly so. ”Any other I would have killed on the spot.”

“He's a child.” Tiny still for his age even. “He was curious. You could forgive him.”

“And show weakness to the pack? Now that would be foolish.”

“It wouldn't be weakness. It would be kind. Merciful.”

“Like Andy?” His cold voice sounded nearer, he was moving. “Need I remind you what happened to your favorite Alpha? Long gone, buried in the cold ground. More bones than flesh.”

“Andy was good.” You hissed. 

“Unlike me? That's what you mean right? You think I'm cruel?”

You refused to answer. It didn't matter. 

“I can be cruel, keep testing me and I will show how cruel I can be, little one.”

“I'm not here to argue.” You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. “I'm asking you to spare his life.”

He chuckled. “Braver than your mother.” 

You smelled him so much stronger now. A deep, rich scent. Clean. Not unpleasant. His face came into view. Blank. His expression showed nothing about what he was feeling. 

“Go on, tell me how I should save him. Punish him in a different way. Letting everyone know you can steal from me and get away with it.”

You looked up at him, forgetting the rules, forgetting the need for respect. “If a child is threatening to you, maybe you're not worthy being Alpha.”

“Careful. I wouldn't want to put you next to your brother.” He warned calmly. 

“If you did, It would only prove my point.”

He let out a laugh. “Here I was, thinking you'd plead. But of course you wouldn't. You have too much pride. Like your father did. When he tried to turn me away.”

“At least he had guts. He died protecting me.”

“But died he did.”

Your fists balled. How you would love to rip his face to shreds, but you couldn't. It would help no one. 

“He died so I could be free.”

“For now. Time is running out, and who will protect you now? Your mother? Her mate?” He grinned. 

No, they wouldn't. And you knew it. Your mother was submissive. Her mate was decent, but not strong enough to take on Ari. Or willing to risk it. 

“I will see when the time comes. Perhaps I will leave before it. And there are other ways.”

“I will not let you. If you mate with someone else I will challenge them. And they will lose. Their death will be on your conscience.”

There, he said it. The possessiveness so clear in his voice. His body tense, like he was ready to spring into action. 

“You would kill the man I choose to be with? And you wonder why I hate you?” You told him with contempt in your tone. “Perhaps I wasn't even talking about mating another. Perhaps if I can't leave, I will make sure you won't ever have me. There are ways. And I'm not afraid to die.”

“You would kill yourself?” he was surprised. Offended even. 

You shrugged, “There's things worse than death.”

“Any woman would be proud to be chosen!”

“Then pick one of them. I do not want you.” You snapped. “And I did not come here to talk about you or me, in any capacity. I came to talk about my brother.”

“And I have already made judgement. He will stand in front of the pack and he will fight me. There's nothing you will say to change what is already decided.”

It was ridiculous. To have a boy fight a grown man, three heads taller than him. He would never win. It was a joke of a trial.

“He can not beat you! Show some kindness, if you have any” you snarled. 

“You always say I don't have any,” he lazily replied.

“I will never forgive you for this,” you growled. 

“I'm sure I can manage your hatred after all these years of it,” he said, like he was already bored of the conversation. “It won't change a thing.”

“We will see,” you mumbled. You turned to walk away, but he called you back. 

“Kneel.”

You froze, but you knew you had to. Your knees touching the ground beneath you fluently. Head down. Respectful. How you resented it.

“See, you can listen,” he told you amusedly. “If only you did it more often.”

You kept quiet. He was taunting you, and you were done with this conversation. You waited till he dismissed you, and quickly left his residence. 

Your mother was holding back tears, yet you did not pity her. She was supposed to watch him, teach him. And most of all, protect him. Did she even try to reason with Ari? You had doubts. She would weep and grieve, but was she willing to give up her life? Not without permission from him. How pathetic. 

You knew the pack needed to listen to its leader. It was how it was done. But surely, for a child, rules were meant to bend. 

You watched Mico as he sat trembling with fear, waiting for the moment he was called. 

He wouldn't run. Going out there alone, especially at his age, meant death. And perhaps a prolonged one. 

You laid a hand on his head and bend down. 

“Do not fear him. I will be there and I'm not going to let him hurt you.” You told him softly, a whisper only he could hear. 

“You can't go against him,” he told you. Eyes big with tears. So young still. And such a burden to carry. 

“It will be alright. You're my little brother. I will always look after you.”

He threw his arms around you and silently cried in your arms. You let him let it out until he tired himself out, falling asleep on your shoulder, completely exhausted from the last 24 hours. 

Andy would have never put him through this. He was gentler. Fierce in his own way, but he was reasonable. Ari didn't care. He only cared about the respect he got from the group. 

So at night, you gathered.

It was a solemn mood. You all knew what was going to happen. The whole pack was there, staring at their leader and the boy next to him, waiting for him to speak.

Ari straightened and raised his voice, letting it carry, even to the ones standing at the back. “We all know what happened. We all know the punishment for stealing from your Alpha! It is nothing less than death!”

A murmur rose in the crowd, affirmative, but sad. No one wanted to see a kid die. They all saw Mico as one of them, it could've been their child, if they didn't pay attention. They all were reminded to watch their children's every move. To prevent them from having to stand out there, awaiting the execution. It was a harsh lesson. 

You ignored your mother's teary eyes and rough breathing. She had not once interfered. Your lip pulled up in a disgusted snarl. You would never look at her the same after this. When your father died there might never be a close bond with her again, especially not because she seemed intent to move on quickly. But her child… you couldn't believe, even now, she did nothing. 

“It is one of our oldest rules and must be respected. Before dawn his life will end. It can be a swift death” at this Ari turned to Mico, almost amusedly before he continued. “Unless you wish to fight me for it?!”

You growled, fist balling at the mockery of that question. Even if he had changed the sentence, something you had been surprised about, it was still death. If he accepted, his life would end swiftly, fight Ari, and his death would be brutal and it would happen slow. 

“I challenge you!” You raised your voice. 

Some people gasped, others just turned to look at you. 

Your mother mumbled “no!”, but you ignored her, as well as her hand that tried to prevent you from stepping forward.

“My life, or yours, for his.” You said while you marched forward. “Either way, he lives.”

You saw a moment of surprise in his eyes, it didn't last long. He still had that amused smile on his face. “You, little one? You wished to fight me.”

You wished him dead. 

“Yes, instead of him. It is law.”

“It is.” He watched you with dark eyes, thinking. “But I do not wish to fight you.”

‘You will’, you thought, ‘you have to’. “I have challenged you!”

“And I decline,” he shrugged. “Your death would be meaningless. Honorable perhaps, but utterly useless. No. A fight will not happen. But there is a way to settle this.”

You didn't like hearing that. Ari could be callous if he wanted to be, and you hadn't counted on him denying you this fight. 

“He stole the Mating Necklace. The oldest relic we have, passed down generations, only for the Pack's Alpha to gift for his chosen mate. Will it not be fair then, if I'm gifted something in return? The necklace for a bride?”

You swallowed, you knew what he was trying to do. This had not been the plan. You had expected him to take your offer. You hadn’t expected to win, he was too strong, but you were fierce, you would have made it difficult, and you would have had purpose. In a way, you would have had freedom. 

Everyone seemed to like the idea however. What a great way to end this horrible ordeal. The child would live, and their Alpha would finally have a mate. Perhaps soon there would be another celebration if the Union would be fruitful. 

You felt the excitement go through the group. The energy almost touchable. 

You started sweating, eyes darting around, before finally settling on the trees nearby. You had no chance to make a run for it now. Ari was watching you intensely. Like he expected you to. He would make chase. He would not hold back.

It was like he said; he would not let you leave. 

“What will it be, hmm? Your brother’s life, or yours?”

You took a step to lash out, to trigger a fight, but your brother piped up quickly, reading you like a book. “I will die. Please, I will. It's okay.”

He only looked at you, and it broke you. Freezing where you stood, you could only look back. He was trying to protect you. And that most of all settled it. You could not lose him, and you had no other options. 

“I accept,” you whispered.

There was a cheer, but you ignored it. People were crowding you, congratulating, touching, laughing, you did not care. You knew your life would not be yours. 

Your eyes broke contact with your brother in the jostle of the excitement of others. 

You still saw Ari though, his smile wide with satisfaction and victory. 

He had what he wanted for so long. 

[peachymilkandcream]

Movie! William Afton NSFW Alphabet

(A/N: The NSFW Alphabets are their canon events I cannot stop this I'm sorry T-T Also please read the warnings, I don't care if it's fucked my guy literally stuffed children into suits he's fucked up.)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, age difference etc.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) William is surprisingly considerate, when he has the time to be. Most of his life is wrapped up in the chaos of covering up murders and coming up with new machines that sometimes sex just becomes stress relief and he doesn't have time for more. However when he can be convinced to take time away he really does try and care about his wife and make sure she feels clean and comfortable.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Deranged psychos and their hands are a thing I'm telling you. The power in behind them is 100% a secret turn on they won't admit. And when you've made your career the work of your hands, (like child murders and a booming business) you can't help but pick that as the favourite. For her, he's not super partial but he really likes her hair, gripping it, pulling it, is what he daydreams about.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Let's just saw how else did they have four kids, cmon now. ;)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) While it's not inherently sexual William really loves putting fear into others, and he 100% has a r*pe fantasy that he puts her through often. (Although for her he doesn't tell her that's what happening so it's 'authentic') This includes fake home invasions as well when he gets bored of vanilla sex and wants to "spice things up". Poor girl lives in fear daily.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He has some before they met, mostly teenage mistakes when he had the time. After he started his career it was rare he did simply because of time. He knows enough of what he's doing, he knows how to make himself feel good and that's all that matters right?

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) My guy is a ride or die missionary, reverse cowgirl is the only other he'll consider. Anything else is just uncomfortable in his opinion, and again it's about what feels best for him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) William's very erratic so it really depends on the mood he's in, how his day has gone if this kids annoy him. He has been known to be more humorous on occasion but it's not often.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Let's be honest William only gets his hair cut because his wife does it, he doesn't have the time to take care of himself like he should, those are precious moments that could go to his work. So no, he is not well groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) This again depends on the occasion, usually it's just stress relief so it's quick and usually not very romantic, but if it's a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday then he'll be way more romantic.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Same as with his hair, he honestly just never has time XD

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Big somnophilia fan, probably a slight breeding kink, lingerie (especially stockings), hair pulling, choking, gagging, knife play 100% (he's a serial killer, I had to).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Anywhere in the house really, anywhere he can get a moment alone. He used to enjoy when she distracted him in his workshop in the basement but now those old parts bring back haunting memories...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Her being a mother to his children, it warms his little black heart and gets him going. As well as any new sets of lingerie she buys or he buys for her.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) She wouldn't but if she tried to dominate him, he would nope the fuck out of there. My guy is an S tier misogynist and believes his wife should be beneath him literally and figuratively.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He prefers receiving simply because it plays into the whole gagging thing. Her gagging on his dick as he face fucks her is so hot to him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) As stated before it depends on the occasion, special moments require more slow and sensual whereas annoyance or hurry is fast and rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) His whole life is about quickies, having just enough time to get himself off is what he usually does.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He takes too many risks, if he's not careful he's going to end up hurting her.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Obviously when he was younger it was more, but now he's a one or two rounds at most guy.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) No no never, no matter what it is he's come to not trust machines around his loved ones anymore.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) If he's in a goofy mood he will, but most of the time he doesn't have time to sit and tease her.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) He's actually quite loud, groaning and even soft whimpers are his specialty.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) William has a thing for stockings because that's the first thing he saw her in and he started fantasizing how her thighs would jiggle in them while he was eating her out.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) I'd say he's above average, not too much but enough, he's slightly thick with a few smaller veins.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) His drive has really changed from wanting to have sex to wanted her to relieve stress. So because of all the stress he's under, it's pretty high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) William is out like a light after, dreaming about his victims or how he disposed of bodies. Solid sleeper while his wife lays awake plagued by waking nightmares of her own.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hello!! This is my first time requesting something so I'm sorry if I did it wrong or something, so I was wondering if you could do one with preferably Dazai where the reader is suicidal and mostly copes with humor. Oh and could the reader also be a teen like 13 years old?

Circus Hop

Self-Aware! Platonic! Dazai Osamu x GN! Teen! Suicidal! Reader

Description: You were two years younger then him, when he tried to end his life for the first time. You resemble him in more, then one way.

Warning: Mentions of Suicide, Suicide attempt. Parental Neglect. Emotional abuse. Terrible parents. Self-harm. Breakdown. English is my second language

Inspired by the song Circus Hop by YonKaGor.

List of Suicide hotline numbers can be found here and here.

____

Your father brought you to this small building. Someone from school insisted on that.

The room she asked you to stay was quiet. Her voice and your father's voices were muffled, because of the door.

Few minutes ago you were talking to the woman. She asked you about your life, your plans for the future, your friends.

Your answers were simple.

Nothing interesting. Don't have any plans for future. Don't want to meet my friends... Just don't want to.

Then she asked you about pictures you have drawn. And asking about your parents about death. And when the thoughts appeared.

Another set of answers.

I feel like drawing it. I feel like talking about it. After Granny's death.

You... think, that you feel like it. You still can feel, right?

Then she asked you to do some tests. First, you must answer, if some sentences can describe you¹, than you must finish some sentences², then group other sentences together ³.

After you finished, she asked you to wait here, while she talks to your father.

You were left alone.

You looked around.

There were nothing interesting for you. Yet, you continue sitting on the sofa and dangling your feet.

You didn't flinch, when your father opened the door, shouting at the woman, who was talking to him.

"Don't you have anything, that will fix them? They are creeping out everyone!"

Woman's voice was firm.

"I already told you, that your child need professional help. You should..."

Your father's gaze became colder.

"I will take them home. They aren't suicidal. They just a little brat who want some attention and who are angry at their mother and I for working too much and not playing in their stupid games. Come, [Y/N], we are leaving!"

He took your hand in his and start to drag you behind him. You simply follow after him.

Before completely leaving the small building, your father stopped.

"Where's your jacket?"

You point at the door, that leads to woman's office.

"There. I forgot it there "

Your father grumble something and, after slapping you on the back of the neck, he walked towards the door and enter the office again.

"Idiotic brat."

Nothing new. As usual.

Then you heard, how the secretary and one of the janitors were talking.

"Another one of these parents. At first, they refuse to treat their children, because they don't have time for that..." Janitor said, glaring at the office door.

"And then, they must find time to bury their kid..." The secretary's gaze was full of sympathy, when she looked at you.

Your father returns with your jacket. You put if on and follow your father again.

He was mumbling under his breath.

"The nerve of this woman... [Y/N]! Just stop being sad. Be happy!"

You mindlessly nodded. You didn't pay much attention to your father's words. One thought were circling in your head.

"Is it important... to attend someone's funeral?"

_______

It was important. At least, The Internet said so.

Your parents... Work hard. If you die, they won't be able to go to your funeral.

You shouldn't die. At lest, for now.

But... You were so tired. You were so afraid. Future was scary. Life was scary.

and you were a failure

You remembered, your father's advice.

"Just stop being sad. Be happy."

Maybe... you could...

________

For a year, you followed your father's advice.

For one year, you manage to keep up a happy façade.

You became interested in life again.

probably... you do become interested in your hobbies again... at least...you don't even scratch your legs or pull out your hair that much.

Dad's advice works.

kind of... your jokes freaked people out... but the school therapist insisted on helping you in secret from your parents.

when dad found out, he enrolled you in a different school.

he yelled at you for being a brat

mom yelled at you for being a difficult child

You must stay happy. Just be happy.

Pretend to be happy.

you just want to be truly happy again

________

You liked BSD even before these thoughts appeared in your head. Your Granny bought you BSD Manga as a birthday present. It is special to you.

Dazai was one of your favorite character before. Now, he truly became your most favorite. You two are similar. He laughs and jokes. You laugh and joke.

both of you need help

You shake your head, chasing away the thoughts.

You open BSD Mayoi app, humming that song again.

________

Dazai felt nervous.

Two weeks ago, he and the rest of BSD Cast finally got into your world. And, he didn't like what he saw.

First, your parents left the country for a business trip. Leaving you under the care of a complete stranger. Who checked on you two times a day. For the rest of the day, they were doing their own business. And don't pick up the phone.

Your parents left a thirteen-year-old you on your own!

Thankfully, with a few bucks from Fitzgerald and a death glare from Fukuzawa, your 'babysitter' left. You were under BSD Cast care now.

Second, your jokes are concerning. Dazai isn't a hypocrite, he admits, that he jokes about ending his own life! When he and others heard your jokes, back in their world, Dazai was sure that it was his bad influence. But, it turns out, the truth was much darker.

Dazai stopped joking about suicide. He didn't want to worsen your condition even more.

Third, the scratches on your legs.

You scraped your knee a few days ago, and Yosano bandaged it. And she saw this strange marks on your legs. Scratches. Deep. Dazai had a feeling, that you were the one, who made them.

Dazai was worried about you. He wanted to help you.

_______

With each day, it became harder and harder for you to pretend to be happy.

BSD Cast makes sure of that.

They weren't rude. They didn't yell. They... were there.

Asking if you need help. Telling you, that you are allowed to cry. That they will always be there for you.

You wanted to tell them everything. To tell the truth.

But, the call from your father happened.

_____

"Why your voice shaking, [Y/N]? Are you being a brat again?"

"I...I..."

"You're a little ungrateful... You want to make our lives hard?! Did you like it?! You know what, fine! If you didn't want to be there so badly, then d[|||||||||||||||]! See, if your mother and I will cry."

The call ended.

And you were broken.

______

It was dinner time. And you were uncharacteristically silent. No laughter. No jokes. No questions. No talking about your day. Nothing.

Then in the middle of the dinner, you start humming the song. Song, that they heard you humming all the time.

But your eyes were empty.

Dazai carefully touch your shoulder.

"[Y/N], kiddo? Are you alright?"

You slowly nodded. An empty grin appears on your face.

"I am! I am fine... I am happy! I...I can even sing a song!"

BSD Cast looked at each other. Dazai carefully spoke.

"A song?"

You nodded, taking your phone. You quickly found an instrumental.

"Yes! Want to hear it?"

You didn't wait for his, or anyone's response, you pressed play button. The song started playing from the middle.

A cheerful melody start playing.

Soon you sang.

"I shall now accept the fact that I'm a failure (You're a failure). 'Cause I'm still afraid the future might be scarier (It is scarier). I'll slip while having fun and cut off my own tongue. They'll think I was dumb!"

The grin on your face and empty gaze was frightening. Everyone slowly stand up from the table. Fukuzawa took a step towards you.

"[Y/N], if something is wrong, please..."

You ignored him.

"Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry. So here's an act for everyone to sneer at"

Suddenly, you stand up and star jumping up and down.

"So sing along, it's such a silly song. The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops. The acrobat who's waiting at the top. Should do a circus hop!"

You let out a hysterical laughter.

Mom and dad won't cry. No one would care. You can't be happy. You didn't feel anything. No one would care.

"I've said goodbye, I don't want you to cry. So have a laugh with everyone but me"

You were now standing in the middle of the room. You didn't pay attention to BSD Cast. To their pleas to talk to them.

The only thing that matters to you was the open window.

Quick.

You made a dash towards the window. For some reason, you still sang.

You forced yourself to sing. Like this song gave you strength.

"So sing along, it's such a silly song. The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops. The acrobat who fell off from the top. They did a little drop!"

Right before you grab the window's handle, something heavy crushed against you.

You fall down on the floor.

Dazai was pinning you to the floor, making sure, that you can't move.

Something wet fall on your face. You looked up.

Dazai was crying. With shaking hands, he hugged you.

BSD Cast surrounded you. You were in a group hug.

"[Y/N]! Never, never do it again! Kiddo..."

"[Y/N]! Are you hurt? Do you need medical help?"

"First thing tomorrow we are going to the therapist... No! I will find the therapist right now! There must be someone working right now!"

Tears. They were worried about you. They were crying for you.

For the first time since Granny's death, you cried.

"I... I am so scared! After Granny died, I was so alone! Mom and Dad weren't home! They didn't answer my questions about Granny! One day... I just stopped to care about the future. I was afraid of future! Live became so hard! I didn't feel anything... I just want it to end! I want to..."

You didn't finish your sentence and sobbed, hiding your face in Dazai's chest.

Dazai's words were warm. His voice was still shaky.

"You are not alone, [Y/N]... We will be there. I will be there."

_____

For the next few days, you were constantly under supervision. BSD Cast make sure, that you don't have any access to sharp things, medicine, windows.

You start attending therapy. What surprised you the most, that Dazai were attending it with you.

"I will be a bad big brother, if I don't act as an example."

Your parents were fired. Fitzgerald pressed charges about neglect and abuse.

You don't know how, but Fitzgerald adopted you almost instantly.

You had a long way ahead of you.

But you know, you will be better.

Because, one time, you finally thought about your future. And you were waiting for this future to come.

____

¹ Modifications of "Eysenck's Personality Test" for Teens is used to diagnose suicidal behavior.

²Modification of "Sacks Sentence Completion Test, SSCT" is used to diagnose suicidal behavior of teens and children.

³ One of the test, that is used by psychologists in Russia.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Winter Without You

Summary: Its been fifty years since he left. Being happy no longer feels right, and winter no longer feels like winter without him.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: As a gift to all my babies, your lil santa got a lil busy eatin cookies, so here is a late solstice present 😉

(Also to make up for the awful Rhysie in remember me)

(this is mostly Y/n missing and wallowing in sadness because she misses rhysand, the end is reunion)

(i also know this is kind of a break up song, but the lyrics fit 🤷🏻‍♀️)

•○🌑○•

Every year right around this time People putting up trees and lights And I been thinking that this don't feel right 'Cause I'm without you

Everywhere Y/n looked, she found people smiling, with and without reason.

And she could not blame them, for it was the season to be happy.

The coming of solstice had everyone excited, making the air and aura lighter and brighter, filling it with loving laughter and chatter.

Y/n almost hated herself for tainting it with the darkness and sadness she had been carrying around lately.

Almost.

Only because there was no place in her heart for any emotion that was not longing for her husband.

'Cause I'm without you If I could make a list, you'd be the first in it If I could make a wish, you'd show in a minute Only if it was that way But there's some things that I can't change

There had been a new tradition going around Velaris.

Parents had begun telling their children about how the mother would grant their wishes and give them all they wished for if they stayed good all year, in hopes to get them to behave, and Y/n could not help but wish it were true.

Wished that the mother really did grant wishes on solstice, if only it meant Y/n could pray for her husband to be returned to her.

Wished that all she had to do was make a list of things she wanted, the first- and only- thing she wanted being Rhysand, and when she woke up in the morning, she'd find that he had returned.

Y/n sighed, continuing to walk towards the town house after a quick run to the market for some ingredients the wraith twins had asked for.

So now This ain't winter without you No more joy, no laughter Wish that I could turn it back around When I'm falling down

Winter had been Y/n's favourite season. Because colder weather meant drinking hot chocolate prepared by her husband.

It meant snuggling up to his warm body, grinning shyly up at him.

It meant watching him laugh whole heartedly, receiving a kiss on the forehead before he went back to his work, now with her stuck to him like a new limb.

It meant being forced to stand still while he wrapped her up in warm coats and scarves whenever they went out, grumbling about the extra layers and receiving a kiss to quiet her down.

It meant extra time in the bed in the morning with her husband because they both were too lazy to get up.

It meant being stuck to him or following him around like a lost duckling because she was just that desperate for warmth and fire never satiated her needs quite like her husband did.

But that was all before he had left.

Now fifty years had passed, and still it never got easier.

Winter just was not the same without him, and it made her wonder how she had ever lived without him before they met.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for christmas

She yearned for him.

To simply hear his voice again, to stare into those beautiful eyes, she was ready to bargain away her life.

She no longer cared whether she lived or died, and she would have taken her own life a long time ago if it meant she would not have to bear this pain.

Despite trying to end things multiple times, Y/n could never take that final step, because the last thing she wanted to see before she died was not the ceiling or the wall of her bedroom.

It was those violet eyes she wanted to die to.

She did not want the feeling of the cold hard ground or hanging suspended in the air to be the last thing she felt before that sweet reprieve claimed her.

It was the feeling of strong, warm and loving arms wrapped around her body.

She wished he would at least open his mind to her, so she could at the very least ask him if he was eating well. Sleeping well. Drinking enough water.

Y/n wanted to ask him if he was okay.

Wanted to tell him he was strong, that he was stronger than anyone she had ever known, and to never give up.

Alas, all she could do was want and wish.

All she had done in the past half century.

And if I could turn back the time You'd be in my arms again But there's some things that I can't change

Y/n sometimes cursed the mother for not granting her the power to turn back time, for not making any instrument to fast forward in time, just so she could at least have one glimpse of her lover, her husband, and know that he was alright.

She wished she'd been born with the gift to turn back time so she could have him in her arms again.

Hell, she even perused the books in the library of the house of wind in search of any way to turn back time, didn't matter if it was allowed or not. Even if it went against all laws of nature, if it would curse her soul forever to go against the decision of the Mother.

Mother's happiness and blessing be damned, Y/n just wanted to hold and be held by her husband again.

Even if she'd burn in hell for it.

Heavy snow pouring out my window I pray to stars and the angels No, no more lonely nights 

Y/n sat next to the huge window in the darkened room, arms wrapped around her knees as she watched the snow dance in the air before landing softly onto the already blanketed layer on the ground.

She swallowed down the knot in her throat.

Back before Rhys had left and then been unable to return, he would take Y/n out to play.

Just the way him and his brothers would have snowball fights, he would play with Y/n in the snow, as if the two of them were again kids.

Rhys knew all about Y/n's upbringing, and it had never been glitter and sparkles. So whatever chance he got, he tried to get her to experience everything she had missed out on.

This was one of those things.

Now Y/n sat alone, the sounds of her family celebrating in the background, and she prayed again.

Prayed to the stars, the moon, the night sky, the mother, the angels, the devils and forgotten mortal gods.

Prayed to anyone willing to listen, to return her husband.

She had lost all hope, but still, there was nothing else she could do but sit and pray for his health and safety and hope.

Pray to them so there were no more lonely nights she had to go through.

Hope that he would be by her side again.

So I keep wishing and hoping You'd walk through the door Hold me 'cause I know We'll fight through the cold 

She had stopped celebrating solstice or any other event that she had loved before, because what was the point in celebrating life when the one who kept you alive was probably dying off somewhere?

Y/n sucked in a ragged breath, clenching her eyes shut, feeling the fat tears roll down her cheek.

The sound of footsteps echoed outside the door, and her eyes flashed open, and she stared at the door, wishing, hoping, it was him.

Hoping he walked in through the door, gave her his signature charming smile, and then held her as they both fought to get back to their normal lives.

She would give anything for that piece of imagination to become reality.

Y/n sighed and turned back to the window as the footsteps faded away, likely a family member going to bed.

Now tell me how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Staring at the stars that he probably could not see, she screamed.

After everyone had gone to bed, Y/n had snuck out of the town house and made her way to the tallest peak in Velaris, and then finally, she let loose.

It had become a tradition, a habit, where every solstice night, Y/n would sneak out of home and come to this exact mountain, and scream up at the stars.

Why her? Why him?

She screamed and screamed, asking the mother, and him- not that he could hear- how she was supposed to live without him.

How she was supposed to be happy without him.

And then, after hours of screaming and cursing at the twinkling starry sky, she would collapse, staring up while laying on her back, whispering, pleading, begging, for some sign that he would return.

That he would be home, at the very least, for the next solstice.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Exhausted, she would fall asleep, only waking once the soft rays of the sun caressed her skin gently, telling her it was time to start the miserable routine she had fallen into all over again.

She would drag herself back home, suppressing the urge to throw herself into the Sidra, and wait for the next solstice to come around so she could again scream and cry at the injustice of it all.

•○🌑○•

The wards felt different today, Y/n could feel it.

They felt stronger, more lively, though they seemed ready to fall.

What was going on, Y/n could not tell, but as she made her way through the winding passages of the moonstone palace, her heart beat louder and faster, and a sense of longing gripped Y/n's body in a vise-like grip.

Her strolling footsteps hurried, and Y/n was running by the time she reached one of the sitting rooms, the door ajar.

Panting, chest heaving, she took that final step, and her world came to a stop.

She smelled him before she heard him, heard him before she saw him, and saw him before she understood fully who she was staring at.

Rhysand.

Her husband.

The male she was in love with, one she had not seen in fifty long years, one she yearned to get a glimpse of each second of every day spent she spent without.

He stood there, his skin pale as he hugged his cousin, crying, whispering, over and over again, where is she?

Where is my wife?

It took only a moment for the siblings to notice the new presence in the room, but to Y/n, it was another fifty years.

Though this wait she did not mind, for what did a moment compare to eighteen thousand, two hundred sixty-two days?

She simply stared at the embracing siblings, a traitorous tear slipping out of her eye the longer she stared.

And then finally, he lifted his eyes, and glossy violet met hers, widening, more tears slipping out as he pulled away from his cousin, his lips parting on an exhale.

Mor turned to look at Y/n, tear tracks staining her own cheeks, and grinned.

Y/n paid no attention to her though, her eyes tracking her husband's body, marking the amount of weight and muscle he had lost, the loss of colour of his skin, the dimmed shine in his once sparkling eyes.

Y/n swallowed. "Mor? Do you mind giving us a moment?"

"But-"

"Please, Mor." Y/n's voice broke, and she cursed herself for it.

Mor nodded, hastily making her way out of the room.

Y/n reached behind herself to grasp the door, shutting it softly, not taking her eyes off of him once.

She had let him out of her sight once, and as punishment, had been able to see him for fifty years. She would not look away again, not while this felt like a cruel dream the mother was showing Y/n, only to take it all away for her to realise she was dreaming.

"Rhysand." She whispered, taking a step foward.

"Y/n." His voice broke on the name, and he swallowed, tears beginning anew.

When she was close enough, she reached her hand out, running her fingers along his cheek, afraid anything other than the ghost of a touch would make him vanish.

His eyes were pleading, filled with silver, and Y/n wanted to do nothing more than throw herself onto him and never let go.

But she couldn't do that.

She first wanted t make sure this was not some mirage, and that he really was here, unhurt and safe, back with her where he belonged.

Slowly, she cupped his cheek, trying her best to stop any tears from flowing.

When she was sure that this was a miracle, not a mirage, Y/n stepped closer, searching his eyes, his face.

She gently grasped his chin, turning his head this way and that, running her hands along his shoulder and arms, searching for something she hoped was not there.

He laughed, the sound a balm to her frayed nerves.

"You've lost weight." Y/n phrased it like a question.

He smiled softly, sadly. "So have you."

She shook her head. "Are you okay?"

His smile widened, and he leaned forward slightly. "Will get there."

Y/n nodded, and then finally, she extended her arms, snaking them gently around his neck, pressing every inch of her body against his, and buried her face in his neck.

His arms wrapped around her back and waist, and instantly, tension bled from both their bodies. She tightened her hold on him, and he returned it tenfold.

Y/n didn't care he was crushing her, all she knew was she was home, finally.

He was back home.

"I missed you, husband."

"I missed you more, my love."

She pulled back her face to search his nearly empty eyes, and gave him the first smile she had smile in the past fifty years. He rested her forehead against hers, his lips tilted up in contentment.

"Welcome home, my love. Welcome home Rhysand."

•○🌑○•

Rhysand Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

[black-rose-writings]

Inspired by some recent conversations, I'll do something I wanted to write out for a while - how would Bella Swan fare as the Sun Summoner.

Bella Swan is the go-to example of a poorly written "blank slate" protagonist, Twilight birthed half of the shitty fanfic tropes of the last few decades. I also shares a lot of parallels to SaB/Grishaverse as a whole, imo, but it a sort of "evil twin"/twisted yin-and-yang sort of way.

There's a lot I could go into here, but let's just stick to the premise - the heroines.

Firstly, it's important to say that their backstories are super important to how they turned out as people, so "Bella Swan as Sun Summoner" and "Alina with Bella's personality" would be kinda different - Alina's damage comes from not being able to grow up, while Bella's are from parentification, from being forced to grow up too fast.

(Since most of my audience is probably not familiar with Twilight, a significant part of Bella's backstory is that her mother is not a very practical, to put it mildly, and that Bella had to be the responsible one in the relationship from pretty early on in her life. Honestly, narrative-wise in many places, it feels almost like Alina was supposed to be the protagonist of Twilight (a 21st century teenager dragged into the supernatural kinda against her will) and Bella was supposed to be the heroine of SaB (a gothic heroine forced to grow up too fast, fascinated and drawn by the supernatural), but I digress.)

There's two ways her's backstory could go:

If we go the orphanage route, there's not really much that needs to be changed - in fact, she almost makes much more sense as a product of such environment than Alina. I'm calling this one Bellalina (she has Alina's backstory and talents, but with Bella's personality). Bellalina was a sickly child, who burried herself in books, dreaming of a life that seemed out of reach, while being forced to take care of the younger children and generally help around the orphanage, getting herself a brainy job in the army as soon as she could to get away. She'd have a much more complicated relationship with Ana Kuya than Alina has, similar to the complicated feelings Bella has to both of her parents (again, for my Grishaverse followers, Bella was heavily parentified by her mom and seems at least somewhat aware that it messed her up, and she has a distant relationship with her father, especially early on in the books, mostly because they're basically strangers when the books start).

The only problem with the orphanage route is that I kinda have hard time believing someone with Bella's personality would manage to avoid being discovered for so long.

Bella's original backstory is hard to transplant into the Grishaverse, just because of how differently marriage is treated in the Grishaverse compared to the modern world, especially in the social classes Bellalina would need to be to recieve the necessary education. I'm calling this one Liza, considering the slavic version of Isabella is some form of Elisabeta and she is Bella in the Grishaverse). But here's an attempt at a plausible version - Liza's mother was either a lower noblewoman or the daughter of a wealthy merchant, who eloped with a soldier when she was younger, but quickly changing her mind after getting a taste of the less-than-wealthy life, returning to her parents, either pregnant or with baby Liza. Grishaverse!Renée(Renata, maybe, if we wanted to slavify her name) and her family would certainly try to get her divorced or have the marriage annuled (depending on the relevant law in Ravka). This might work, or she might just have to wait for Grishaverse!Charlie(I'm thinking of slavifying his name to Kirill, which has different origins, but there's no russian version of Charles and I refuse to name him Karel) to die (which is not exactly an unlikely fate for a lowly soldier). Either way, Renata, due to having such sordid past (by 19th century standarts) and possibly still being technically married to Kirill, has hard time remarrying, only managing to do so when Liza is almost 16. At which point, Bella decides she might as well join the Ravkan army, seeing it as the best way to set herself up for her future (and probably to get away from her mom and her family, who probably didn't let her forget about having a common father and questionable legitimacy).

Either way, she ends up in the army - Bellalina still in the carthography unit, Liza, I'm not sure what Bella's skills would be good for in a 19th century army. Maybe some kind of communication officer? A clerk? Some kind of intelligence work (like, the boring, paper-pushing kind)? (that would be very ironic considering Alina's utter disregard for the concept of secrecy) A secretary/typist for some higher-up officer? IDK, something fitting for a well-educated, observant and intelligent, but physically feeble girl.

From here, the divergences mostly end.

She's sent across the Fold as part of an assignment, things go badly, she's discovered as a Sun Summoner, pretty much as it goes in the books.

Except Bella is into it. She's been dreaming of having a dashing hero sweep her away into a magical life since she was little. She would spend the entire ride to the little palace asking way too many questions like an over-excited toddler. She'd be crushing on Sasha so hard (especially after he saves her life).

She would dive into her studies head first once she arrived. Again, this girl dreamed about this her whole life. She loves this, she loves the power. Mental block who?

She is also very observant. She would clock Aleksander's immortal ass within two conversations (and probably confront him about it first opportunity to get him alone).

Bella is also significantly hornier than Alina, so Winter Fete would get much spicier.

Now, the real big question: Would she believe Baghra? My answer is no. Primarily because she would have confronted Sasha about the before-mentioned immortal bullshit before the Fete, and would probably recieve at least an outline of the plan at that point. (Considering how non-chalantly OG!Bella rolled with vampire murder lore, she would probably be fine with some tactical fantasy nukes, especially if framed through "protect the people you care about" lense). Also, if Bella was promised a good dicking, she would not listen to Baghra on principle, because she's horny and she's NOT going to be happy about getting cockblocked.

Que good ending, immortal overlord Sasha and his immortal saint wife Bella bring world peace.

[desertfangs]

“ how did you get this scar? ” (for Daniel/Armand if you're still accepting!)

I know it seems like I forgot these but I'm swear I'm still working on them! Work has been a beast and also I'm in the process of moving (!!) so my life is sheer chaos rn. Anyhow, this prompt inspired this little slice of life moment and I hope you enjoy it! It's about 1075 words.

Daniel shifts in the bed, groggy and half-asleep, but as he turns over, he brushes against Armand, who is still there beside him. He’s laying on his side, his amber eyes watching Daniel with a stark intensity, auburn curls stark against the white pillowcase. 

It’s not the first time they’ve shared a bed but it’s the first time since they arrived in London, since Armand gave him an electric taste of his blood and he stopped running. It feels strange, somehow, but also comfortable. 

“Hi,” Daniel says, since Armand is still staring at him. Armand says nothing. Daniel feels that familiar twinge of uncertainty. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.” 

“You always get groggy once you’ve reached completion,” Armand says. 

Daniel laughs, delighted by the fact that he knows that about him. Such an intimate thing to say! Four years of running and yet Armand knows him better than anyone else. 

“Yeah, well, your touch is soothing.” He reaches over and rubs Armand’s arm, his warm fingers dancing over the vampire’s cool, pale skin. Armand smiles at him. It’s such a warm, genuine smile that Daniel’s heart soars. 

Daniel moves closer and kisses him, their tongues entwining. When they part, he sits up, leaning against the headboard. A thin sheet covers his legs and hips, though at this point, Armand has seen every part of him too many times to count. “Do you ever sleep in a bed? In the daytime I mean?” 

“No,” Armand says. The smile slowly fades from his face. He looks at the window so Daniel looks at the clock on the bedside table. It’s almost five am. Still early. Late. Whatever. There’s time before sunrise. 

“Always a coffin then? Or a casket? There’s a difference, isn’t there?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yes to which part?” Daniel asks, exasperated at how Armand can say so little, even now that they’re sharing a bed and apartment. Well, during the night, anyhow. And during the day, Daniel is usually passed out and Armand is sleeping god only knows where.  

Armand sits up and smooths his hand down Daniel’s shoulder, along his torso, and stops at his hip. His hand is cool, the warmth of whatever blood he drank earlier faded from him. His body is rigid but his hands can be so soft and they feel like velvet as they trail over his naked body. Armand stops at Daniel’s thigh, just above the knee. He touches a mark on Daniel’s skin. “How did you get this scar?” 

It’s barely a scar now, just a little white patch just under his knee. But Armand is watching him curiously, waiting for the answer.

“I was seven years old and I was trying to do tricks on my bike. The bike went out from under me and I landed on this piece of broken glass that was in the street. My sister ran and got my parents. My dad grabbed me and stood me up but then my mom saw my leg was covered in blood and screamed. The glass was sticking out of my leg and my mom and dad fought about whether or not to remove it.”

“Did it hurt?” Armand’s finger pokes at the spot, long healed.

“A little. I think I was in shock. We went to the hospital and they took the glass out and then I got stitches. It hurt after, I remember that. But mostly I was scared because my mom was so freaked out and I remember asking if I was going to die, and the doctor laughed but my mom looked like she actually thought I might.” 

He shakes his head at the memory, the way the horror on his mother’s face had tugged something loose inside him, some primal fear he’d never felt before. The silence hangs between them. Daniel grabs the pack of cigarettes from the night stand and lights one. 

“What about you, do you have any scars? Or did you, before immortality smoothed them away?” 

Armand doesn’t answer. He keeps staring at the little white mark on Daniel’s leg. Then he bends down and kisses it, his lips feather soft. It sends tingles up Daniel’s spine. He slides into Daniel’s lap and removes the cigarette from his lips, replacing it with his mouth. Daniel doesn’t complain. He kisses him passionately, letting Armand’s fangs scrape against his tongue as he delves into his cool mouth. He imagines those fangs scraping over his throat, this thigh, his ankle. 

You could scar me, Daniel thinks. The thought is unbidden, the sort of thing that comes to mind in the throes of passion. But the idea of Armand leaving some sort of mark on him with his fangs is hot as hell. He imagines Armand biting him somewhere—the meat of his thigh, his upper arm—and not healing the wound. His pulse races. 

Armand pulls back out of the kiss, his face so close that Daniel can still feel him there. His eyes are huge and he tilts his head, as if trying to figure something out. 

And then he pulls away from Daniel, climbing off of him. He stands and collects his shirt from where Daniel had tossed it on the floor. 

“Leaving already?” Daniel tries to sound casual, like he’s not bothered at Armand having to go, but in truth, his heart aches at the thought. 

Armand nods toward the window. There is more color in the sky and it is inching toward sunrise. Daniel sighs. He wants to go with Armand, to slip into his coffin and curl against him for the day. 

Armand comes back to the bed and kisses him again, his mouth gentle against Daniel’s. “Sleep, beloved. I’ll be back at sunset.”

Armand is gone in a flash, almost as quick as a puff of smoke, like the wisp of it trailing from the tip of the cigarette Armand set, still burning, in the ashtray. He picks it up and brings it to his lips.

He touches his neck where four years prior, Louis bit him. There’s no mark left, no scar, just the memory of Louis’ fangs in his throat, holding him as he drank. No mark from where Armand drank from him just a week ago in Pompeii. And yet both nights sent him careening in a whole new direction and changed his life completely. 

 He thinks it’s funny how something can leave a lasting mark with no outward sign.