#i feel like i’m so bad at expressing myself through text but

[comfymoth]

Man I hope you know you live up to your url, your art brings such a sense of comfort to me??? Like genuinely it’s such a boost of seratonin, the way your style looks makes me think of like,,, marshmallows lol it’s awesome

WAAAA oh my god, thank you so much!!!!! you’re gonna make me cry, seriously, it means the whole world to me to hear that :’) i’m soso glad my silly little drawings can make other people happy

[lasciviouspoison]

omg hey guyssss!!! this was literally written off the fly, lol. each time i get 🍃 i think abt plug eren and how he’d be obsessed with the pretty college girl he serves to. tw: plug!eren x chubby reader, implied inexperienced reader, implied black reader (anyone can read!!), afab!reader, and, obviously, anything else i missed. not proof read cause idgaf :p

ps. y’all i loved writing this and i love my man. missing him bad :(

plug!eren that loves serving u, his prettiest customer. always makes sure to respond to ur text within the same minute, no matter the condition he’s in.

plug!eren who gets so happy when u ask him to teach u how to roll. each time he’s served u, he’s just brought u pre-rolls since u never bothered to ask for any other rolling materials. but this time, u finally caved and asked him to teach u, saying, “i’m just tired of spending my money on a multiple pre-rolls everyday. i wanna roll for myself” - mind u, eren hasn’t ever charged u.

plug!eren that sees u eyeing him intensely when he starts licking down the sheet, green eyes challenging yours each time he goes to toast the j. he got off on hearing your breath shudder slightly each time he gave it a lick, laughing silently to himself.

plug!eren who watches you smile brightly upon not ripping the sheet (you went through 3 before getting it right). he critiques your j as the two of you hit it, saying u only really needed to work on your mouth piece. however, it was hard for u to digest anything he was saying over the loudness of your thoughts. you couldn’t get the image of eren licking the j out of ur head, wondering if he’d take that much care with u. head between ur legs, using his tongue with the utmost precision. god it’d feel so good -

“whatcha thinkin’ bout pretty girl?” eren’s voice pulls you out of ur thoughts and u smile, not trusting urself enough to express ur feelings without flat out telling him you wanted to fuck.

“i’m just… thinking about everything… you know?” he laughs at the slow pace and raspiness of your voice.

“hmm.. want rennie to make the thoughts go away?”

your head lolls onto the back of the couch and your bra-less chest points toward the sky. he can see the outline of your pierced nipples through your baby pink tank top and he sighs.

the two of you finally make eye contact once more and you lean your head up towards his, eyes deadlocked on his lips.

“please.”

that was all eren needed to hear before engulfing you in his arms. he pulls you onto his lap and runs his hands up the sides of your body, taking extra time to trace the chub that outlines ur tummy.

he drags his thumbs over your nipples causing your body to jerk. he smiles slightly and flicks his eyes up to yours, silver eyebrow piercing glittering in the warm livingroom lighting. he peppers kisses along your jawline before finally kissing your lips. you can’t help but think about how soft his lips are and it makes u let out a soft moan.

he breaks the kiss but never stops rubbing on you, “you taste so sweet. is it ya lipgloss?”

you smile, “yeah. it’s that glossier shit. cookie butter.”

he kisses you again, running his tongue over your lips once he breaks it once more, “i bet your pussy’s sweeter than this though.”

before you can respond, he reaches down into your shorts and plays with the waistband of your panties. rubbing his fingers over the outline of your cunt, causing you to shiver each time.

eren kisses your lips once more and finally touches your bare pussy. once his fingers find your clit, he makes the smallest circles and your hips jerk. he can feel you begin to pull away from the kiss, but his mouth follows you, preventing you from complaining.

he begins to apply a bit more pressure and you ease up in his grip once more. his fingers then travel down further and begin to make their way inside you. unable to hold yourself together, you let out a slight “fuck” and eren groans.

“you’re so fuckin wet. you mus’ really like me, huh baby”. he licks his lips and kisses your neck.

“yes ren… liked you since i first seen you.”, you admit.

eren pulls his head from your neck and grips your cheeks, forcing you to meet his eyes. “aww. baby had a crush on ‘er plug. gonna make this pussy feel so good for you, ‘kay?”

after a small yes, eren lays you down gently on your couch and begins to pull your shorts and panties down. your hands go to cover yourself and he pins them to your chest. he then pulls your tank top over your head and leaves the material loosely around your wrists.

immediately after, eren removes his shirt and your eye to eye with his tatted stomach and chest. you knew by his arms he had a lot of ink, but it was never assumed to go this far. his tattoos were so sexy though, they made your mouth water.

eren then began his assault on your neck once more, this time gradually making his way down your body. he ran his tongue over your nipples, releasing each with an obnoxiously loud pop.

as he made his way down your stomach, you could feel him start to lick down your body, making a point to leave a trail of red splotches in his wake.

when his eyes deadlock on your pussy, you can feel eren’s dick jump in his pants. he takes his thumb and pulls the hood of your vagina up, taking his sweet time in admiring your pink pussy.

he licks his lips and smirkss at you before diving head first in between your legs. his long, pink tongue swirls over your clit so gently, it makes you see stars. he licks you just like the sheet, so slowly that it takes your breath away.

he sucks gently on your clit and your hands reach down to run through his hair. your fingers wrap around the root and pull slightly, causing him to groan into your pussy.

his hand runs up your leg and you feel his middle and index finger push into your walls, gently caressing your g-spot.

by this point, your writhing so hard against the bed eren’s had to use all of his strength to restrain you with one hand. and while you knew eren could overpower you, having firsthand proof made you all the more wet.

with a few more licks to your clit, eren found you suddenly tensing up against his tongue, small body shaking and convulsing around his tongue as your orgasm overpowered your senses.

“pretty baby’s never came this hard huh? s’okay, you got somebody to handle you now. i’ll make this cunt cum everyday. my perfect girl.”

with the combination of eren’s dirty words and his gentle caresses against your nipples, it was extremely hard for you to ground yourself within reality. he was too good at sex, especially for someone as inexperienced as you.

eren finally rises and removes his jeans. his black calvin’s cling to his hips and muscular thighs as he drags you by your ankle to the edge of your couch.

he pulls down his boxers and his dick hits his stomach with a dull thud, angry red tip leaving a bit of pre where it made contact with his stomach.

he presses your legs against your body and grips his dick, hard. he runs it through your fold a few times, using the slight curve of his dick to hit your clit each time he got close. he tapped his dick against your clit a few times, and finally slipped it in.

with the two of you simultaneously gasping, eren’s grip on your hips got tighter, desperately trying to will himself to not fully sheath himself inside of you. as he slowly slipped in, he could feel your pussy twitch against him, forcing him to thumb at your clit.

“need ya to calm down baby. gonna squeeze me to death” his voice is rough and restrained, similar to his hips.

you respond, breathless and weak, “m’tryin. feel you s’deep”

his eyes flick up to yours, “oh yeah? where ya feel me baby?”

your head peaks up slightly and eren takes a look at your fucked out face. lips wet, red, and swollen, eyes watery with rosy cheeks. you were so beautiful, he never wanted to take his eyes off of you. but, he had a more pressing matter at hand.

your hand reaches down and presses on your stomach, signifying to eren where his dick is inside you. however, you choke out a moan and add onto his ever growing ego, “but i swear ren, i feel you in my throat. you’re just so - fuck - you’re so big” placing much emphasis on big.

his eyes roll into the back of his skull as he looses all composure. his hips snap relentlessly into yours, bullying his cock into your tight pussy. by this point, eren is not only lost in the feeling of your cunt, but knowing that he needs to feel you cum around him.

he keeps a hand locked onto your jaw, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. you can see how feral he is behind his eyes and it makes you gush. he’s like a wild animal and it turns you on way more than you ever imagined.

with a particular thrust, eren hits that soft spot inside of you and your legs instinctively lock around his hips. the worldless confirmation was all he needed to continue to hit that special spot inside of you. as the speed of his hips increases, he finally reaches his peak, with that familiar pulse of your pussy shortly following.

a particularly loud “fuck” leaves your mouth at the same times eren grits out your name. his hips operate on autopilot, snapping back into your cunt at a jagged pace.

once eren returns to earth, he sees the white ring of cream you left around the base of his cock. he swipes two fingers down and places them to your lips. “suck”, is all that leaves his mouth and you follow his command.

as eren slowly pulls out of you, your head lolls against the couch and you finally feel yourself catch a breath.

when eren returns, he uses a warm rag to wipe you up before helping you put your clothes back on. after he follows suit, he picks you up bridal style and carries you to your room.

he sets you down and pulls back your baby pink duvet, tucking you into the blankets. you reach your hand up to him and grab his shirt sleeve, confusion and hurt dancing behind your eyes.

eren kneels beside your bed and pets your hair, “i’m not runnin out on ya y/n. i jus gotta do my job. i’ll be back once im finished, promise.” he gives you a gentle kiss on the lips, and you can hear his shoes scuff against the hardwood floor as your eyes close.

however, hours later, you’re awoken to the sound of knocks at your door and your phone ringing; it’s eren.

“hello?” you answer, voice groggy from sleep.

eren chuckles slightly and lets out a breath, “told you i’d be back ma. lemme in”.

[melobin]

it’s our one year anniversary!! and it’s absolutely surreal to me how much we’ve grown over the past year. i love melobin so much, i adore being here and i adore being able to share things with all of you and i can’t wait to share more of the things i have planned !!

the past year has definitely been a little rocky LFMAO i’ve been through three url changes and more than one silly ot6 accusation exposing post but i’m still here ! and i’m still adoring and supporting riize as a whole. it’s been a few years since I’ve found myself as in love with a group as i am with riize and im so incredibly grateful that i got to meet so many wonderful people because of them. from mutuals to anons to just people who interact with my blog, i really adore and appreciate you all, more than i can express in words. i’ve taken a few breaks in the past year, all mental health related but you’ve all been so understanding and i cannot thank you enough for that.

it’s quite overwhelming that melobin has gained over 3.7k followers in the past year, i never really expected much other than a few people to talk to when i first started my blog but im so happy with the little community we’ve created here and i can’t wait for it to continue 🥺 i truly adore you all.

the melody and friends discord server has been a highlight of melobin for me !! i love that server and everyone i’ve met through it, i wanted to create a community that was welcoming and comforting and friendly and i truly believe i’ve done that.

not to be too soppy but there’s definitely some people i’d like to personally thank for being here this past year.

@kkurokitty my jaye !! i love you and everything you do so much. you were there when i first created melobin, we had our little taerae pfps and urls 😭 things have definitely changed a lot since then but you’re since as wonderful as the day we met all those years ago and im so thankful to have you.

@leejeongz amy ☹️ not even god knows how much you mean to me. everyday we speak i feel like we’re closer even if we’re a whole train ride apart. having you back in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and i can’t wait to see you again. manifesting riize come to the UK soon so we can go and see them together. forever the moon to my stars 💔 i love you so bad :(.

@rishimuras melomiu <3 i’m so glad tals forced you to join my server the day it was created. it’s insane to me that we’ve been friends for almost a year now because i still feel like the same girl who was scared to message you whilst also feeling like ive known you for years. you’ve been a big part of melobin and my life for the past few months and i adore you so much. i only ever wish you the best and im more than ready to take on anyone who threatens that. i love you !!

@01zfan parter in crime i fear … the only person im honoured to lose 100 lp with in one day after spam playing tft with our little duckbills and dowsies. i was your biggest fan before we ever spoke and i remember almost doing a (metaphorical) backflip when i found out you already followed me 😭 your writing has changed me as a person and im so thankful to have become friends with you over the past few months. we fight the ot6 accusations together and we get you to plat SOON. i love you !! 💖

@tsandoll bunny !!!!!!!!! i love you !! you’ve been such a support for me with melobin and i can’t thank you enough! i love our little roblox games and the amount of shit we talk, i’m always laughing whenever we talk it’s almost impossible not to. you understand my humour so much and even when you don’t you still laugh .. true friend !!! i really hope soon you can feel better and feel like yourself again, i love you 💗

@sonjuyeonnie i wish i knew what blog to tag .. my fake text proof reader .. but seo i love you you’ve been such a sweetheart to me since you joined my server and i’ve been nothing but proud of you since then. you’ve accomplished so much and im so happy to see you thriving in life. i know we haven’t been able to talk much lately because of work but never forget how much i adore you and how im always here 💖

with some other people .. @antoncore my cee, you’ve grown so much in the few months we’ve known each other and i’m forever proud of you and i can’t wait to watch you grow more, i love you !! … @bbina my smau queen, btl changed me as a person and i’ll always support you in every smau you write even if i don’t know the idol you’re just TOO good. you’re so lovely and sweet and funny i luv yewww !! … @wonbin-truther the prettiest girl !! you’re so sweet and funny and so so talented, your sohee smau was pure GOLD i loved every second of it and i love seeing you pop up in my dms with the most random message, i fear i love you so bad 💔

there’s definitely others and i do adore all my mutuals so much !!! you all mean so much to me and i can’t wait for melobin to grow more. to one year and many more ! 💖

[sh4wty18]

rough day.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader

summary: johnnie has a bad day and you comfort him.

cw: fluff, angst, language, suggestive but nothing major

word count: 1.1k + edited

---

You knock on Johnnie and Jake’s front door anxiously, staring down to re-read Johnnie’s most recent text over and over: 

J: please come over.

Y/N: please come over? johnnie we’re dating, you don’t have to be so formal when you want to have sex lmaooo

You had answered him, but never received a reply. You read it at 4:48 pm. He read your reply at 5:01. No response. Not even an “lol”. Johnnie always replied to your texts immediately– he’s head-over-heels and everyone knows it. So when he doesn’t respond, you know for a fact something is wrong. 

Jake answers the door then, causing you to jolt, startled. “Hey, is Johnnie here?” you ask immediately.

“Woah, it’s good to see you too?” Jake teases, clearly oblivious to any issue Johnnie was having, “Yeah, he’s here, in his room. You’re his girlfriend but don’t constantly know his location? Damn, someone doesn’t care about their relationship!” He makes a fake judging expression that can only be described as “yikes!”, and tugged on his shirt collar while pointing at you with his other thumb. He was joking, of course, but you weren’t particularly in the mood right now.

“Jake this is fucking serious. I’m going upstairs,” you push past him and run inside, hearing the front door close as you jog up the staircase to knock on Johnnie’s bedroom door. 

“Hey baby, it’s me,” you say gently. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Johnnie replies, barely audible. 

You open Johnnie’s bedroom door to find him laying in bed, buried deep under the comforter, with only the setting sun shining through the curtains to light the room. You close the door, take off your shoes and pants (for comfort), and walk over to Johnnie’s bed to crawl in with him. He stretches out of his curled position, and turns toward you, cheeks flushed and tear-stained. 

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” You lay next to him and pull his waist towards you, indicating to him to lay on top of you. You wrap your arms around each other and he rests his full body weight on you. 

“I don’t know. I have nothing to be upset about. I’m famous, I’m wealthy, I have amazing friends, amazing family, and I’ve found the love of my life at twenty six. I am so fucking privileged and lucky, and yet I still feel like shit all the time. Why can’t I just feel fucking normal?” He sobs at the end of the question, and tucks his face into your chest, crying quietly onto you. 

You don’t quite know what to say in response. So instead of offering unhelpful advice, you run one hand through his hair, pulling him firmly against your chest, as if holding him tighter would somehow transfer his pain to you. You kiss his head and whisper, “I love you,” over and over again until you hear his breathing slow, and feel his body go limp against yours. He needed to rest. Eventually, you feel yourself drifting off as well. You know that when you both wake up, you’ll both be in a better headspace to discuss the situation.

–

Two hours later you begin to regain consciousness. Somehow as you slept, your positions reversed, and now Johnnie was laying on his back with his arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close. Your head rests in the crook of his neck, and your arm is draped over his stomach. You squeeze him lightly, and lean to kiss his nose softly. His eyes flutter open slowly, and he gives you a small smile. 

“Hi, beautiful,” he says, blue eyes meeting yours. 

“Hi, pretty boy,” you respond, “Are you feeling any better post-nap?”

He lets out a giggle, and presses his lips gently to yours, “I feel better now that you’re here. I’m sorry I sent you that cryptic ass message with no response. That was shitty. I knew you’d be worried but I still couldn’t bring myself to reply. It was like I was stuck. I couldn’t move out of my covers until you got here. I was frozen, and all I could do was think about how fucking sad I feel right now, and also how fucking stupid I am for feeling shitty when I’m literally one of the most privileged people of all time.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Sure, you’re privileged, but you recognize that, and you’re grateful. You’re still allowed to be sad, even with privilege. You can’t help how you feel, you’re human. And you’ve been famous for a decade! Most of your youth was spent online!! That’s fucked! You deserve to feel all these emotions! Not that I want you to be sad. I only ever wanna see you smiling. And  I wish there was something I could do. I wish I could just take all your pain away forever. You are the best person I know, Johnnie. I hope you know how much I love you,” you say into his neck, where your face rests.

Johnnie tilts your chin towards his face with his free hand, “I love you more than anyone on this earth, you know that? I have no fucking clue where I’d be without you. And I know you think you suck at giving advice, but that was actually exactly what I needed to hear.” He kisses you again, passionately now, and pulls your body on top of his. 

You run your hands through his hair while you kiss, his hands gripping your thighs as they straddle him, “Getting all deep and emotional with me made you needy, huh?”

Before he can respond, (and before the fire ignites in your lower stomach), you decide to pull away and hop off the bed.

“Noooo, girlfriend, come back,” Johnnie whines in a joking, childish voice. He gets out of bed too, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. He buries his face in your neck to kiss it as you walk in unison towards his bedroom door.

“You need to eat something, Johnnie, c’mon,” you say. 

He doesn’t respond, instead he starts lightly sucking at your neck as you attempt to open the door. Your breath catches, and you let go of the door knob to wrap both hands around the back of Johnnie’s neck and pull him closer. 

“Johnnie…” you mumble.

“Mmm?” he replies, lips pulling away from your neck and brushing against your ear, “I wanna show my, kind, smart, funny, gorgeous girlfriend how much I love her,” he whispers. 

He spins you around to face him, and, walking backwards, leads you toward the bed. 

You know he doesn’t feel completely better yet. He won’t for a while. But you’re not worried anymore. You have confidence that whatever happens– to either of you– you’ll go through it together. There is no one else either of you would rather experience life with– the highs and the lows.

---

i'm not the biggest fan of this one, but i wanted to post it here! it's also on my ao3 :p

[shitsndgiggs]

HIII!!! Hope you had a very good birthday today!!❤️ I was wondering if you could maybe do one with reader and pau or maybe hector, where reader is starting school after summer and she’s in a completely new class with new people mostly girls and she got too know the class a week before and she founds out it’s these bitchy girl and only knows one girl there and she’s really scared and he like comforts her?🥰🥰

FIRST DAY JITTERS - HÉCTOR FORT

Héctor comforts you when you have to start in a new class

Héctor Fort x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The last few days of summer had flown by too quickly, leaving me with a knot in my stomach as the reality of the new school year set in.

Starting in a completely new class with people I barely knew was terrifying, especially after my experience during orientation week.

The class was full of girls who seemed to judge every little thing, their sharp whispers and condescending looks making it clear that fitting in would be an uphill battle.

The only person who seemed decent was a girl named Sofia, who had been friendly enough, but she wasn’t exactly the type to stand up against the others.

My nerves were a tangled mess as I thought about walking into that classroom on the first day, knowing I’d be facing a sea of unfamiliar and unfriendly faces.

That morning, I couldn’t even bring myself to eat breakfast. I sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at my untouched cereal, my thoughts swirling with anxiety. Hector noticed immediately.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Hector’s voice was gentle as he came over and sat down beside me, his hand resting on my knee.

I shrugged, not wanting to burden him with my worries, but knowing I couldn’t keep it all in. “Just… nervous about starting in the new class today.”

Hector’s brow furrowed with concern. “Is it because of the girls you told me about?”

I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah. They were so mean during orientation, Hector. I don’t know how I’m going to handle being in that class all year.”

He reached over and took my hand, his thumb brushing soothing circles on my skin. “I’m sorry, love. I can’t stand the thought of you being around people like that. But you don’t have to face them alone. You’ve got me.”

I looked up at him, my eyes filled with worry. “But you won’t be there in class with me. What if they make my life miserable?”

Hector’s eyes softened as he leaned in closer, his tone reassuring. “I wish I could be there with you every minute, but I know you’re strong. You’ve handled tough situations before, and you’ve come out even stronger. You’re not going to let them get to you.”

I sighed, the weight of my anxiety still pressing down on me. “I’m just scared, Hector. I don’t want to spend the year feeling like I don’t belong.”

He squeezed my hand a little tighter, his gaze steady and comforting. “You do belong, and you deserve to be there just as much as anyone else. Those girls might try to make you feel otherwise, but that’s their problem, not yours. You’ve got nothing to prove to them.”

I bit my lip, trying to take in his words, but the fear was still gnawing at me. “I wish I could just skip today. Or the whole year.”

Hector smiled gently, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “I know it’s hard, but the first day is always the toughest. Once you get through it, things will start to settle down. And remember, you’ve got Sofia, right? She might not be the loudest, but at least she’s a friendly face.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I muttered, still not feeling entirely convinced.

Hector’s expression grew more determined as he cupped my face in his hands, making sure I was really listening. “Listen to me. No matter what happens today, I’m here for you. You can text me, call me, whatever you need. And if things get really bad, I’ll come pick you up, no questions asked. You don’t have to do this alone.”

I felt a tear slip down my cheek, touched by how much he cared. “Thank you, Hector. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He wiped away the tear with his thumb, his eyes filled with love. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere. Now, how about I drive you to school? We can listen to some music, and I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to go in.”

The thought of having him by my side, even just for a little while longer, eased some of the tension in my chest. “I’d like that,” I said softly.

We headed out to his car, and Hector immediately turned up the volume on his playlist, filling the car with our favorite songs.

He kept the mood light, cracking jokes and telling stories about his latest adventures on the football field, doing everything he could to distract me from the looming school day.

As we pulled up to the school, the familiar wave of nerves hit me again, but Hector’s presence made it a little more bearable.

He parked the car and turned to me, his eyes serious but full of affection.

“You’re going to be okay,” he said, his voice firm.

“You’re stronger than you think, and no matter what, you’ve got me in your corner. I’ll be here when you get out, and we’ll talk about everything, okay?”

I nodded, taking a deep breath to steady myself. “Okay. I’ll try to remember that.”

Hector leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, his touch full of reassurance. “You’ve got this, amor. I believe in you.”

With those words echoing in my mind, I stepped out of the car and made my way toward the school entrance.

The first day was going to be tough—I knew that—but with Hector’s support, I felt like I could face it. I wasn’t alone, and that made all the difference.

[auras-moonstone]

mad woman — ethan landry (part four)

word count: 3,001

based on: mad woman by taylor swift

pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!reader

summary: the kirsch family and y/n set the details for the attack, and ethan does not agree with y/n’s suggestion.

author's note: this is my longest chapter yet... and my personal favourite. hope you enjoy it! thanks for all the love this series is receiving, it warms my heart <3.

previous part ; next part

MINDY TEXTED THE GROUP TO MEET HER AT THE PARK. They all knew what the meeting was about—the horror fanatic was about to revise the rules with them and possibly share her own list of suspects. Y/N sat next to Ethan after sending him a cheeky smile. The girl’s presence made him felt a bit nervous after the almost kiss of the previous night.

"Okay nerds, listen up” Mindy started “As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time".

The girl started explaining the rules of a continuing franchise, and then proceeded to expose the suspects.

“… That means it's not just the friend group, any of us could go at any time. Especially Sam and Tara".

"Wait. Any of us?" asked Ethan. "Does- Am I in the friend group?".

"Well, you are here right now, aren’t you?” Y/N said.

"Am I, like, one of the targets?" he asked her, and she nodded. "Am I gonna die a virgin?".

Y/N looked at him with wide eyes and mouth partially open. Was that part of the innocent act or was he really a virgin? No way, right? He was too hot. "First, was that information needed? Second, no. Don't you know the rules? If you don't lose your virginity, you're safe".

"I feel like a proud mother" Mindy said, acting as if she was cleaning her tears. "Now, onto our current suspects... Ethan, the shy, dorky guy who nobody suspects because he's so shy and dorky".

"Okay, wait. Why am I on the suspect list? Because I'm randomly Chad's roommate?" he said, moving his arms frenetically.

"Roommate lotteries can be junked. You could have fixed it to get next to us" argued Mindy. Ethan rolled his eyes. Then Mindy looked at Y/N “Y/N”.

“Wait, really?” she asked, acting surprised.

“Look, I’m sorry but you are Amber’s sister. You have a solid motive” Mindy said pursing her lips. A part of her felt bad for accusing her friend, because she really loved her and she didn’t think she was really capable of murder. But at the same time she couldn’t help but distrust her a little.

Seeing Y/N’s crestfallen expression, Sam decided to intervene “Mindy, no. That doesn’t mean anything. I am Billy’s daughter and I’m no murderer”.

“Yes, exactly. Leave her out of this” Tara agreed. Y/N sent the sisters a fake grateful look.

“I’m just exposing the possibilities. I’m almost sure she isn’t the killer” Mindy said.

“It’s okay, Minds. I get where you are coming from” she smiled sadly. Ethan was impressed by her acting abilities.

The horror expert continue throwing accusations at Quinn and even at her own girlfriend.

"Wait, wait, wait. What about you guys?" Ethan asked, pointing at the original members.

"I mean, I think it's pretty safe to rule out the four of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro" Mindy said.

"Agreed" said Chad.

"Um, not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or five more of you to snap?" Quinn exposed her view.

"Yeah, or the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more" continued Ethan. “I mean some of the online theories about Sam are a bit…”

“Don’t you fucking dare” Tara cut him off harshly. Y/N clenched her jaw at the tone the girl gave him.

“I mean, let’s face it. If we are suspects then you are all suspects” Anika said.

“And let’s stop this conversation right here before the tension becomes too much” Y/N said, standing up. “I have maths” she groaned.

“Let’s go. I have it too” Ethan said, grabbing her bag.

“What a gentleman” she laughed. The group exchanged glances, as if they were silently asking the other if they were seeing the same thing.

“There is no way Ethan can pull Y/N off” Mindy said, watching them have a conversation as they walk away.

“Minds, are you kidding me? They have been eye-fucking each other since yesterday” Chad said.

“I think he is good for her” Tara said.

“And I think she’s too god for him” Mindy answered.

“Don’t be like that” Tara told her “She looks happier since they started talking, didn’t you notice?”.

“Well, she better not get too attached because he has killer printed all over his forehead” Mindy said.

THE KIRSCH FAMILY AND Y/N REUNITED AT THE OFFICER’S HOUSE. The second attack was taking place that night, and they were setting the details.

“I should be there. I’m not on the top of their list, but if I’m not with them tonight, they won’t trust me anymore” Y/N suggested.

“But if you survive with no wound at all, it will also be suspicious” Ethan said.

“Then, I will have to get stabbed or slashed” Y/N shrugged.

“Are you hearing yourself?” Ethan asked in disbelief.

Y/N was touched by his concern, but it was not time for softness “I’m not telling you to stab me in the heart, Ethan. Just hurt me in some safe place, like shoulder or a slash in the stomach”.

“Are you sure? He’ll be on the run. It’s dangerous” Bailey told her.

“I’m sure” she nodded. Ethan sighed, not liking the idea at all, especially since he would be the one hurting her. “Eth, stop it. I’ll be fine” she assured him.

“We are doing this for Richie and Amber, there is no time for hesitation or feelings, Ethan. You better not mess it up” his father told him.

Now, Y/N was really glad Bailey let her join the plan, but she wanted to screamed at him every time he treated his son that way. She hated when he underestimated Ethan.

“Hey, look at me” Y/N told him as they were walking to her apartment. Quinn was a few feet away from them, wanting to give the two teenagers some space. “Don’t listen to him, okay? You are going to do well. I trust you”.

“It’s not about what he said, Y/N/N. I don’t want to hurt you” he frowned. She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off “I know, I know you are okay with that and it’s the most convenient thing, but still, I am the one who has to do it, okay? And I can’t help feeling guilty, because hurting you it’s the last thing I want to do”.

Y/N caressed his cheeks softly, looking at him with pure adoration “I don’t know if it’s too soon to say something like this or what, but you became my safe place, Ethan. Ever since Amber died, I haven’t been able to feel anything but emptiness and loneliness. And then you came and absolutely changed everything. So, if I suggested you hurting me it’s because I trust you doing it, okay? But I understand your point. I’m sorry if I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. You don’t have to do it, I’ll find another way to maintain their trust”.

Ethan though about it and then sighed in defeat. “No… I know how important this plan is for you, and if you think hurting you is necessary, I’ll do it. I just want to apologize in advance”.

Y/N smiled and hugged him, her arms tight around his neck while he hugged her by the waist, pushing her against him. After a couple of seconds, they stepped back and pressed their foreheads together.

“What’s taking you so lo-�� Quinn stopped at the sight of their closeness “Fuck, I have the worst timings” she scoffed.

Ethan and Y/N laughed. There was still time for them to kiss, now they had much more important things to do. Besides, having a first kiss in the middle of the stinky and crowded streets of New York, was everything but romantic.

MINDY AND Y/N WERE SETTING THE TABLE AS TARA AND CHAD TALKED IN THE KITCHEN. Anika was watching TV on the living room and Quinn was in her room with her new guy. Poor man, he has no idea what was coming to him, and neither did the rest of the group.

“Didn’t you have Econ with Ethan today?” Mindy asked.

“Yeah, but I’m not really in the mood for that stupid class when there is a murderer on the loose” she answered, and Mindy nodded in understanding “And he offered to take notes for me, so I took the chance”.

“Of course he did” she scoffed, making Y/N look at her confused “Oh, come on, no one is that sweet and gentlemanly. It’s all an act!”.

“Mindy, come on. Stop it” Y/N sighed. “He really is sweet, and kind and funny. I like being around him. Please stop making him uncomfortable”.

Mindy put her hand on the girl’s shoulder “Y/N/N, you are way too oblivious and innocent when it comes to these types of things. That’s why I’m here, to open your eyes! There is something wrong with Ethan”.

“Minds, please drop it. I trust him, okay? And until we have solid proof Ethan is the killer, you should stop treat him as such. It’s not fair” she told her.

Mindy put her arms up in surrender “Fine. I’ll stop bugging your boyfriend”.

“He’s not my boyfriend” she blushed.

“Not yet. And if you are waiting for him to make a move you are going to get tired. I’m sorry, but that boy is a coward. He’ll never have the guts to do it” Mindy shrugged.

Y/N had to dig her nails tightly into the palm of her hand, because the impulse that came over her to grab the knife that was laying on the table and plunge it into Mindy’s throat was almost uncontrollable. The way she talked about Ethan infuriated her, and she didn’t know how much longer she would be able to tolerate it. She internally begged Ethan to finally get rid of her tonight.

"Guys!" Anika's voice was heard from the living room, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts "What the hell?".

The group gathered around the TV to hear the news. The reporter was informing that Sam’s therapist had been killed, and she was the prime suspect. They also showed the video of Sam fighting the random girl on the street the night of the party. The video was out of context, making her seem like a violent person. And they even brought up the theory that she was behind the Woodsboro killings of the past year.

Sam turned the TV off and went to sit on the table. Y/N watched the scene in front of her—Sam crying, while the rest of the group tried to comfort her—and serotonin went through her veins. She loved seeing them suffer, being scared, and the night wasn’t even over. The worse was yet to come.

As if on cue, weird noises started coming from Quinn’s room, indicating show was about to start. They all made fun of it, thinking it was just the roommate and her hookup. But then, the laughter came to a stop when the six phones sounded at the same time. They opened their text to find a photo of Quinn, with Ghostface behind her, stabbing her. The group stood up in a heartbeat, walking towards Quinn's door.

"Run" said Mindy just a second before the door busted open. Quinn's body was thrown at them, landing above Anika and making her fall to the ground. Ghostface stood on the door. "Oh, fuck" the person behind the mask slashed Mindy on the arm. Thanks, Ethan! Y/N internally yelled.

"Step back!" screamed Anika, hitting him. Ghostface grabbed her from the throat, pinning her to the ground, suffocating her.

"Why are our knives missing?" Y/N yelled at Sam. Of course she knew why they were missing, she hid them. Sam took the knives holder and ran towards Ghostface, who had his knife inside Anika’s stomach, and hit his head with it.

“Grab Anika, I’ll hold him back for a bit!” Y/N said to Sam. The older Carpenter took Anika and started to lead her towards the room, Y/N gave Ethan a subtle nod, indicating him it was time to be cut. The boy slashed her stomach, and she let out a curse before following Sam to Quinn’s room.

"Mindy, bathroom door. Hurry" Sam whispered. Mindy ran to the door, closing it just in time. Ghostface kept hitting the door, trying to enter the room. Sam pushed the piece of furniture in front of the door.

"Sam!" Danny screamed from the building in front of them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she told him when he grabbed a ladder and put it as some kind of bridge that connected the two buildings.

"You have to climb one at a time" Danny said.

"You three first" said Sam.

"No, you go" Mindy told her. "I'll hold the door, you two go first and then Anika".

"Go, Y/N/N" Sam ordered her.

Y/N didn't want to discuss it. Her stomach was in pain and she already wanted the persecution to be over, so she climbed the ladder and couldn't help looking down. "Oh my god" she felt the bile coming up her throat. Her vision started to get blurry. I did not sign up for this, she internally cursed.

"Don't look down! Keep going, you have to hurry up" Danny told her.

Y/N took a deep breath and tightened her grip on the metal stairs. She had to do it as slow as possible without being too obvious. She arrived to the other side, hoping it gave Ethan time to at least manage to kill one of them.

Sam went next, and then Mindy. Once her girlfriend was safe, Anika started climbing the ladder. Expressions of panic were seen on her friend's faces. Ghostface entered the room, and was standing behind Anika. Ethan began to shake the metal ladder up and down, while the rest of the group screamed in fear. Anika was starting to lose balance.

"Anika give me your hand" yelled Y/N and Sam. They extended their arms, Anika's finger tips brushed against theirs but it wasn't enough. With one last shook, Anika fell down to her death. Her face impacted against a container, and her body laid lifeless on the floor.

Y/N hugged Mindy as she cried on her shoulder. The girl looked at Ethan, trying not to smile. She knew he could do it, and he did not disappoint. Ethan, on the other hand, couldn’t stop looking at Y/N’s stomach. He may have gone too hard on her, the cut was very large and her clothes were soaked in blood. Not bearing to see the wound he inflicted on her, he left the room.

JUST AS THEY IMAGINED, THE GROUP’S THOUGHTS ABOUT ETHAN WEREN’T VERY POSITIVE. The little trust they had on him evaporated, and now he was their prime suspect. Y/N received glares too, not because they suspected her, but because she still defended Ethan.

“His alibi’s checked out, guys. He has his Econ notes. It was just a coincidence” Y/N stood up for him.

“Y/N/N don’t be stupid” Mindy told her.

Y/N sighed “I’m not! Look, let’s just… keep an eye on him. If when the next attack happens he’s not there, I’ll believe it”

Mindy shrugged “Suit yourself”.

“Gale found something” Sam informed them.

Y/N groaned “I just want to shower and change clothes” she said tired, resting her head on Mindy’s shoulder.

“Um, you can go to our apartment” Ethan suggested.

“Alone? No, thanks” she declined the offer.

“I can go with you” the curly-haired boy said.

“Yeah, right. As if” Mindy intervened.

“Minds, I really need it” Y/N said.

“Are you sure, Y/N/N?” Tara asked her. She didn’t trust Ethan either.

“We can send a cop to the apartment, if that makes you feel safer” Bailey suggested.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you” the girl replied.

Tara sighed “Fine. Call us, okay? And take your phone off silent mode”.

“Will do. See you later, be careful” she hugged the group before going with Ethan.

As soon as they arrived to the apartment, Y/N took a shower and put on a shirt and joggers from Ethan. When she exited the bathroom, she found the boy sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for her.

His guilty eyes met hers, and she spoke before he could start apologizing “Don’t you dare, Eth. I’m fine”.

“Can I see?” Ethan asked softly. She raised the shirt a bit, showing him the scar. He traced it softly with his fingers. “I’m so sorry, Y/N/N”.

She kneeled between his legs, making them be on the same height “Eth, please stop it. It’s fine, it didn’t even hurt that much”.

“I can tell you’re lying, I can read you perfectly” he said.

“Well, okay. It did hurt, but it wasn’t like unbearable. I promise. Maybe you can kiss it better?” she joked. “Or maybe I can distract you so you stop thinking about it”.

“Both” he said breathlessly.

“I like your idea” she whispered. Her uneven breaths against his mouth made his heart skip a beat. And then everything stopped when her lips collided with his. He stopped thinking, and instead he focused on the way she was making him feel. The blood rushing throughout his whole body, making him feel warm, and the sudden urge to memorize her body with his hand, to feel every inch of her delicate skin, the feeling that he never wanted that moment to be over.

And Y/N just couldn’t get enough of him. His electric touch in every inch of her skin, from cheeks to her hips, and the way his lips danced with hers so harmoniously drove her insane. The void she once felt disappeared for a moment, and now the only thing she could feel was him—his breaths, his lips, his body, the beats of his heart, his longing. Their longing. She wanted that moment to be tattooed on her mind for eternity.

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 7)

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Summary: It's time for your first mission working with Kortac. You're stuck reminiscing on the past, accidentally drawing similarities between it and the present. Additionally, you see a new side of Konig.

Chapter Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex, cursing, gore, blood, violence, bad attempts at using military terms (listen I tried to do my best researching this but obviously I ain't in the army)

Notes: Hey! Procrastination is a thing... and it had me in a chokehold these last few weeks. But - and I know I say this often - hopefully I'll get something else posted either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your patience and your kind comments - I love hearing them!

Ghost dragged me by the hand through the airplane hanger, making me stumble to keep up with him. He walked with purpose in his step, his eyes focused on his own thoughts. I bit my lip as I jogged behind him, excitement bubbling in my veins. He had sent me the usual “you up?” text – now, we were running around, trying to find a secluded but dangerously public place to satisfy our urges; something that was beginning to become a weekly occurrence.

He stopped in front of the ramp to the C-130 – one of the largest airplanes on base, used for carrying soldiers before they were airdropped. I looked at him with a confused expression.

Ghost was already looking at me, waiting for my reaction. He tilted his head towards the plane suggestively, gripping my hand tighter.

I suddenly understood what he was hinting at. “On a plane?!” I said with disbelief. “It’s not even in the air, what’s the point?”

Ghost huffed. “You said you wanted something other than my bed.” He replied with an accusatory tone. “What did you expect, your bed?”

I grimaced. Imagining Soap in the room across the hall, listening to me and Simon – and most likely getting off to it – it was the last thing I wanted to happen. “No… but an airplane?”

“Just trust me, ok?” Ghost tugged my hand, leading me onto the aircraft. “Bloody picky, you are.”

“I’m not picky, I just have common sense…” I muttered. Ghost ignored me.

I scowled as he dragged me further into the cargo hold. We moved towards the back, which was rather cramped, even though it was empty. Ghost sat down on one of the seats, close to the cockpit, and spread his legs. The space was small and awkward, and only allowed his left knee to move a few inches. He grumbled, getting up and moving down a seat, where he finally spread his legs apart. He finished the display with a smirk behind his mask, leaning back into the seat.

I watched the entire thing with my arms folded over my chest. “This is ridiculous…” I muttered, turning back towards the ramp.

“Why?” Ghost asked, slightly offended. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

I gestured to him, huffing out a laugh. “Just - this! There isn’t enough room for the both of us, the door’s wide open, so someone could just walk in and – “

“They’re not going to see us, Bonnie.” Ghost pulled me by the backs of my thighs and down onto his lap. I grabbed his shoulders as I felt myself sliding off of him, and he gripped my hips to hold me in place. “Relax, love.” He drawled.

For a moment, my heart stuttered. It was the first time he had called me something so endearing… although it was probably force of habit. I stilled my heart – it was never good when it got too involved in anything.

“If we do get caught-“

“I’ll pull rank.” Ghost stated matter-of-factly. He sat on the edge of the seat, allowing me to shuffle closer to his torso. He held my hips down as he slowly pushed his own into me, sending arousal shooting through my abdomen and making me gasp at the feeling. He pushed his balaclava above the bridge of his nose, then pulled me down by the nape of my neck and captured my lips in a kiss.

I moaned into the kiss in satisfaction; his hands on my hips and the taste of him – cigarettes and the whiskey he’d downed earlier that night – felt like a reward after the long day. I ground my hips against his crotch, feeling his hard length straining through the fabric of his cargo pants. He let out a low, guttural groan, running his hand further up my back. In a second, I raised my arms over my head, and he pulled my shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the aircraft.

He looked at me for a moment, kneading the flesh at my hips as his eyes danced over my skin. “You changed your mind rather quickly.” He said with a cocky grin.

“Shut up…” I replied.

Ghost quickly smacked the side of my ass, making me yelp in surprise. He then grabbed my chin, not roughly, but enough to capture my attention. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Care to try that again?” he asked in a cautioning tone.

“’M sorry!” I said quickly through smushed cheeks.

“’Sorry’ what?”

“’M sorry, sir.”

“Atta girl…” he drawled in a deep voice, before releasing my chin. I couldn’t stop the needy whine that came from my throat. I started grinding my hips on his crotch again, urging Ghost to continue.

He chuckled. “Pretty little slut – do you need me?” he asked, and I immediately nodded. “Use your words, love. Tell me what you want.”

I felt myself clenching around nothing at his deep, gravelly voice. “I- I want you inside me, Ghost.” I admitted quietly.

Ghost clicked his tongue. “Didn’t catch that, doll. Speak up for me.”

I fought a scowl rising in my throat. “I want you to fuck me.” I stated firmly. Normally, I wouldn’t stand for being humiliated like this – except I wasn’t standing. I was straddling Ghost’s lap, grinding on him like a bitch in heat, and following his every order like my life depended on it. And, honestly… I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I would never fold like this, or let myself be bossed around, for any other man – not in a million years.

Ghost laughed. “Well, before we get that far…” he began unbuttoning my pants, igniting the fire in my lower abdomen. I bit my lip impatiently, watching his hands take their sweet fucking time as they worked down the zipper.

“… I need to get you ready f’me, yeah?” Ghost said teasingly. In the next moment, he pulled down the waistband of my underwear and slid two fingers past my clit.

I sucked in a short breath between my teeth, digging my nails into Ghost’s shoulders as he flicked his fingers over my clit. There was no rhyme or reason to the rhythm, making each flick send jolts of pleasure from my cunt and into my chest.

“Goddamn, there you go…” Ghost cooed as he watched my face contort from the pleasure.

“Bonnie?”

I started bucking my hips as Ghost traced along my lips, groaning as he watched me unravel myself above him. I could tell he was getting off from my obedience – the way I threw my stubbornness to the wind whenever he had control of me was like a drug to him.

“Hey, Bonnie-“

“Look at you.” He commented. I opened my eyes when I heard him unbuckling his belt. I looked down at him – I could see his pupils had dilated, and he was now panting in desire. Even he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Fucking finally…” I whispered.

“Quiet.” He ordered as he pushed his pants down his legs. He pulled out his-

“Bonnie!”

My eyes widened as I was snapped back to the present. I had been staring – glass-eyed and pupils blown wide – at the exact same seat Ghost and I had sat in earlier. Except, I wasn’t on that same plane. I was on Kortac’s C-130 as it flew us out to the mission point.

I looked to my left – Konig was bent over, hands on his knees, staring at me with a confused expression.

“You alright?” he asked. “Is the mini-you in your head bothering you?”

I scoffed. He hasn’t let me live that down ever since I mentioned it. “I’m fine, Colonel. Just tired.”

He straightened up, towering above me at his usual, freakish height. “Well wake up. We’re almost there. Let’s see if you’re as good as Ridgeback says you are.” He then walked away, pulling out his tablet and fiddling with it. It looked comically small in his hands.

Roze shifted in the seat next to me. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s always bossy right before we rendezvous. Gets him in the game, I think.” She tightened her tactical vest around her waist.

“I’d hate to see him on a bad day…” I mutter in her direction.

“You and me both. Imagine a bear, with a gun, on- I don’t know, cocaine or something…” She replied, earning a chuckle from me.

I looked back at Konig. He sat down in the same seat I was staring at moments before. He leaned back, resting his head against the wall and spreading his legs wide. He placed his hands on his thighs. He breathed deeply, like he was trying to calm his nerves. I dragged my eyes over his form – he was huge – I never really paid attention to just how large he really was. He was lean, slightly on the more muscular side, but he had to be pushing… six-eight? Six-nine? I looked at the girth of his thighs. I imagined what it would feel like to straddle his lap… Would it be comfortable? I thought about how Ghost and I had sat in that seat… Except I imagined Konig in Ghost’s position, his large hand on the small of my back, his torso against mine, his fingers in my-

Fuck. I was getting in over my head. I had to stop.

Konig looked at me, his head still leaning against the wall, locking his eyes with mine.

FUCK. I turned my head away quickly – too quickly. I can’t do this. I can’t let this happen again. I pointed my head down at my feet, pretending the floor was more interesting than Konig.

Don’t do this. Don’t do this, y/n. Remember how bad it ended last time? Why you ended up working for Kortac in the first place? You don’t want that again. Just focus on the mission. Focus on your job.

When I looked back at Konig, he was looking at the ceiling. I thought, if I concentrated enough, that I could see his brow furrowed under his mask. His hands were still on his thigs, but they were now tense, gripping at his thick muscles through his pants. His fingers were long, rough, and sturdy, his nails were short… I couldn’t help but drift back to the image of them plunged into my-

Konig’s eyes darted towards mine.

I huffed and looked away again, at the opposite end of the plane. Fucking get it together… I felt my face flushing – as long as I didn’t look in his direction, he wouldn’t see it… right?

I sighed. I need to be spayed…

-----

“Briefing hostages. Stand-by ‘til further notice.” Roze’s voice echoed over the comms. She, Juno, Oni, and Zero had made it to the hostages. Castillo had helped get them there smoothly, and now it was up to Konig, Horangi, O’Connor, Fender, and I to finish taking out the check points. Majka, Ridgeback’s second-in-command and our current operator, had cut comms for the enemy. Konig and Horangi had already started clearing their checkpoints – there wasn’t much coming from their end of the comms, so I assumed they were managing fine.

I made it to the top of the tower I was in, hiding behind the wall outside of the checkpoint I needed to clear. The entire location of the rendezvous was run down – possibly an old, abandoned power plant. The buildings were in a deteriorating state, making it slightly harder to work my way closer to the enemy soldiers in the room. But I was good at being quiet, so I managed.

I carefully peered around the edge of the doorway – the hallway outside of the room was dark enough to conceal me from the soldiers. Two were positioned outside of another wing in the room; one was facing forwards, staring at the room in front of him and guarding the door at his side. The other was looking out the window, completely ignoring the room he was supposed to be guarding. Inside the room appeared to be three more soldiers, two of them sitting at a computer and bitching about the comms being broken, and the third tweaking his sniper foxhole.

They’re a mess… I thought to myself. I smirked, knowing this would be an easy take-down.

“Bonnie to Majka. I’m engaging.” I said into my comms.

A few moments of silence before he responded. “Clear, sergeant. Give ‘em hell.”

“Copy.”

I took a few deep, quick breaths, flooding the oxygen into my blood and keeping the adrenaline at bay. I jumped around the corner and sank a knife into a soldier’s neck. He gurgled and dropped his gun. Another soldier turned at the commotion – I ripped the same knife from the first body and threw it. Rather than shank him, the edge sliced across his jugular. He barely had enough time to lift his gun before he collapsed, grabbing his throat. I grabbed his body as it fell, quietly guiding it to the floor. I picked up my knife and sank to my heels, pressing myself against the wall. The doorway to the next room was to my left. I exhaled silently. In a swift moment, I snatched one of the fallen soldier’s gun and shouldered it. Never hurts to have another one.

I heard the guards in the other room, alerted by the sounds of the struggle. One of them rounded the corner – I hid in the shadow, waiting until he had fully stepped beyond the other room. I used my knife to slash across each of his Achilles tendons, easily cutting past the material of his boot. He fell with a loud cry – I quickly used the butt of my gun by bashing it against his head, knocking him out in two hits.

I saw one of the remaining two guards in the room through the doorway. I quickly threw my knife at him and lodged it in his neck, but not before he managed to pull the trigger on his gun. He fired a few shots as he went down, gun pointed at the ceiling and ricocheting off of the concrete. Before the last soldier could react, I quickly turned into the doorway, shooting him dead in the face with my gun. He flopped against the back of the wall, body twitching for a moment, before he went still.

I turned back around, looking at the third soldier, lying on the ground. I fired one last shot into his head, ensuring he was dead.

I exhaled heavily. Not my smoothest work, but still timely.

I stood in place, assessing the damage around me. The strong scent of iron began to overtake the room, blood seeping from each body. I pulled my knife out of the fourth soldier’s neck, wiping the blood off against his sleeve and sheathing it. I sighed and began scavenging through the bodies for anything useful.

“Bonnie, how copy?” Majka’s thick accent filtered through the comm.

“Checkpoint two cleared.” I responded. I ripped out the magazine from a gun identical to the one I stole, shoving it into my vest. “Upgrading my inventory a bit.”

“You just got started!” he said, a bit frustrated and shocked.

I gave the room a last glance. “And? I just got finished. What’s my next move?”

There was a brief pause. “O’Connor, how copy?”

The click of O’Connor’s comm came on, followed by the sounds of struggling and muffled punches and hits. “Fender and I are still occupied!” he grunted.

“Roze, position status.”

“Package secured, hostages briefed.” Roze’s voice was hushed.“Ready to move, and enemies inbound towards us.”

“Castillo, how copy?”

“One klick out, ready in FFP. Waiting for target.” Castillo responded.

“O’Connor?!”

“Busy!!” O’Connor said, irritated; the faint sounds of gunshots firing echoed in the background.

“Majka, this is Bonnie:” I said quickly among the commotion. “Sir, I’m in range to follow the package from here. I can clear the path with Castillo, I’ve got eyes up to the objective rally point.”

I heard a disgruntled sigh on the other end of the channel. “You don’t have your sniper rifle, Bonnie.” He said.

“My checkpoint had a foxhole. I’m set up with one.” I looked around me; the walls separating me from the outside weren’t that thick, but they would be enough to hide me. “I’ve got decent cover, too.”

“For fucks sake…” Majka sighed into the comm. “Then get on it.”

Immediately, I kneeled beside the sniper rifle the one soldier had been adjusting. I tweaked its position, changing its trajectory until I was satisfied. I unshouldered both of my guns, before sitting in front of the rifle and getting comfortable. I angled it until I saw the building where the hostiles were being kept in my scope.

“I’m in FFP.” I relayed over my comms. “Ready on your command, Majka.”

“Copy.” Majka replied. “Roze, you’re clear to move.”

I watched closely through my scope as Roze exited the building, followed by the hostages and the rest of the team. She led the group, Juno and Zero covering the sides, and Oni covering their six.

“Bonnie, Castillo, talk to me.” She said quietly.

“I eliminated three hostiles on your path, clear to move forward.” Castillo’s voice echoed.

I focused on the area to Roze’s nine ‘o clock. Three enemy soldiers were slowly making their way towards her – I quickly fired at them, taking two of them down with a single bullet as they were lined up perfectly. The third one ducked down, frantically scanning around to find where the bullet had come from. I aimed my crosshair at him and pulled the trigger at him – he dropped to the ground within the same second.

“Three more eliminated. Your nine is clear.” I said to Roze.

“Copy.” She replied.

I continued to scan ahead of their path with my scope. A few times, Juno and Oni fired to the right of the group, followed by a few shots from Castillo. I knocked out two more targets on their left. The rest of the path went smoothly, and they made it to the exfil point. I scanned what parts of the area I could see from my window, searching for any rogue soldiers that might be left. O’Connor and Fender had finished clearing their checkpoint by then. After a few more minutes of that, and the “ok” from Majka to pack up, it was clear that there wasn’t anyone left on the field besides the Kortac team members.

“Well, that was sloppy on their part.” I commented.

“Ridgeback said it would be.” Majka replied. “Said the hostiles were a big enough gang that ended up with powerful weapons, and just wanted some cash. Kidnapped an easy bunch of relatives of a government official. Probably thought they had a chance.”

I chuckled. “So the payout won’t be great, I’m assuming?” I shouldered my guns, grabbing the sniper rifle and exiting the room.

“Don’t be so sure about that…” Juno piped into the conversation, shouting over the sound of the helicopter blades. “Europeans officials are loaded. Plus, they typically pay a lot to save their reputation.”

“You mean their families?”

“Potato, potahto.” Juno replied.

The rest of us reconnected at the exfil point. As with most of the teams I had gone on missions with, I was the cleanest out of everyone. O’Connor and Fender looked tired and worn, blood splattering their uniforms, dropping their guns with their bags and collapsing onto the seats of the aircraft. Horangi, cleaner than some, seemed to be riding off of an adrenaline high, clapping everyone on their backs and declaring a mission well done – despite that it had been a rather easy one.

I dropped myself onto a seat and looked at my hands, only painted with a few smears of blood. I then leaned my head back against the wall. I thought of what I could have done better. I could have caught the one soldier sooner before he hit the ground – that would’ve kept the others from being alerted. I could have been quicker shooting the last one. Cutting the guys heels… that was flashy. Unnecessary. Same for throwing my knife the second time. I could have just shot the last two. Would have made things quicker.

Suddenly, I heard heavy bootsteps climbing the ramp to the plane. I casually opened one of my eyes, then the other, staring in shock.

Konig dragged himself up the ramp. He was covered in bloodstains, across his vest, his mask, his pants – he held his gun, the end of it spattered in blood. His knuckles were tight under his gloves as he clutched the barrel of the gun in one hand, the other hanging by his side. His shoulders were tense, heaving up and down with each, heavy breath, and his body language was laced with venom.

His eyes were the worst part; they peered through his mask, wide and blood-shot. They were dripping with a post-massacre adrenaline. They stared directly ahead as he appeared to calm himself. He looked like a wild animal that had just killed its prey – for fun.

He ripped out his mags and tossed his gun into the pile, taking a seat directly across from me and grabbing his tablet. He began aggressively punching the buttons on it, his eyes still sinister and cold. He muttered under his breath in German, his voice low and gravelly.

I shivered slightly, before looking away from him and back at the ceiling. Is this what Roze was talking about? I thought.

---

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

Let me know if you'd like to be added!! ^^^

[hxney-lemcn]

Worth It — Alex [Adult World] x gn! reader

summary: reader is sick, so they have to call out. Only for Alex to surprise them and becomes their personal nurse for the day.

tw: mentions of insecurity, a bit of self neglect

a/n: I love his character so much. He's such a sweetheart and I needed to write some tooth rotting fluff. Also, I normally don't care for sick fics, I don't typically get sick so it's hard for me to relate to them, but this just hit me out of nowhere.

wc: 2k

Master List

The moment I woke up I realized there was no way in hell that I was going to work. My head held a dull throb and my body was aching even though I hadn’t moved a muscle. My throat was sore and I couldn’t stop sniffling. I blindly reached over to my night stand. Shuffling some random things I swore I was gonna put away but never got to, I finally found my phone. I let out a small groan as the light blinded me, making my head pound a little harder. 

I sleepily messed with my phone, barely registering what appeared on the screen. Before I could debate whether to text or call, my body already seemed to press the call button for my manager. I sleepily closed my eyes as the dial tone sounded through my ears. I willed myself not to fall asleep, blinking my eyes open. 

“Hello?” The soft tone of Alex’s voice greeted me. 

“Hey,” I rasped. Damn I sounded bad. I coughed, trying to clear my throat a bit.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I can practically see the concerned expression he held on his side of the phone.

“Mhm,” I murmured, fluttering my eyes like that would suddenly wake me up. “Well…I guess not. I’m not feeling too good, don’t think I’ll make it to my shift. Sorry.”

“No worries,” Alex replied. “Shit happens.”

“There aren’t many workers though,” I mumbled, fatigue taking over. “I don’t want you having a double shift.”

His soft laugh sounded through the phone, “Don’t worry, you were paired up with Amy. I’m sure she’ll understand. Not like a lot happens there anyways.”

Halfway between sleep and being awake, I managed a hum. It was silent for a minute, and I felt myself slipping deeper into the dark abyss of sleep, only to be violently pulled out of it by Alex’s voice once more.

“You…you got anyone to help you?” He asked. Even with my sick, fuzzy addled mind, I couldn’t help but melt at how much he seemed to care for me. Yet my fuzzy mind seemed to forget how Alex and Amy totally had the hots for each other.

“I’ll be fine,” I hummed. “Jus’ sleep it off like I normally do.”

“...okay,” He replied quietly, I almost missed it if it weren’t for the fact my head throbbed the longer the call went. “Get well soon.”

“You too,” I replied, confused at why Alex chuckled. A few beats too late, I realized my mistake, “I meant thanks.”

“See ya,” He chuckled lightly before the call hung up. I tried to put my phone back on the nightstand…only to hear it go crashing down to the ground. Without an ounce of care, I shuffled into a more comfortable position closing my eyes, finally falling into an okay sleep.

Having woken up a few hours later, I mindlessly scrolled through my social media. It was hard for me to concentrate on anything. My head felt only slightly better, the throbbing has dulled into an ache. I had only gotten up to go to the bathroom, the thought of making something to eat was too big to conquer in my current state. 

The sound of knocking at my door startled me, causing my body to tense, which in turn caused my body to ache. I let out a sigh, unsure who could possibly be visiting me right now. Then my phone buzzed, Alex’s cute smiling face popping up as his contact photo. 

I blinked a few times before answering, “Hello?”

“Hey!” Alex replied, sounding far too chipper for the day you’re having. “I thought I’d stop by to check up on you. Mind letting me in?”

Even though I wasn’t as tired as I was earlier, it still took me a second to comprehend what he said, “Oh, yeah, sorry.”

Hanging up quickly, I stumbled out of my bed, only to pause because the world started to spin around me. Whether it was the lack of food, low iron, or sickness, I wouldn’t know. Perhaps a combination of the three. After I knew I wouldn’t fall or pass out, I rushed to the front door. Alex smiled at me from the other side, his curly hair slightly ruffled, lifting a plastic bag up.

“Come on in,” I mumbled, holding the door open for him. After he entered, he placed the bag on my living room coffee table as I closed the door behind him. “What’cha got there?” I asked as I took a seat on the couch next to Alex. He made himself at home, but we’d hung out quite a bit outside of work.

“I got some cold medicine, cough drops, y’know, the works,” Alex shrugged. “Wasn’t sure what you had. I also got some candy.”

“Oh, Alex,” I crooned, softening at the information. “You really didn’t have to.” 

At that exact moment, like the world wanted to laugh at me, my stomach grumbled. I pressed a hand on it, glaring as it wouldn’t stop. 

“Did you eat anything?” Alex asked, his smile stayed, but the look in his eyes turned to one of concern.

I paused, hesitating to admit it, “Nooooo?” He gave me a disapproving stare and I rambled my excuses, “I was too tired, and okay…yeah and lazy. But I’m so sore, it hurts to exist.”

“You should’ve told me,” Alex replied with a small pout. Damn he was too cute for his own good. “I would’ve picked something up for you to eat.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning my head to rest on the couch, “I’m not gonna make you waste your money on me.”

“It’s not a waste,” Alex fought back, nudging me lightly. Even so it caused my body to flare up with an ache, a small ‘ow’ escaping me. “Sorry,” He winced. “But you gotta eat to get better. And knowing that you're better would never be a waste.” 

I felt warm, warmer than this current sickness was making me. Alex patted my knee on his way up off the couch. I watched as he made his way to my kitchen. I knew that he wouldn’t find much. I’ve been procrastinating on my much needed grocery run, and now it seems to be biting me in my ass. 

Fatigue creeped up on me once more, and I decided to lay down on the couch. I turned the tv on, switching it to something to try and keep me entertained. My eyelids felt so heavy, but my hunger started to overpower it. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of pans in my kitchen, Alex must’ve found something to make. 

I wasn’t sure how many minutes passed until Alex made his way back into the living room. He placed a steaming hot bowl on the coffee table in front of me, and then started rustling through the bag. 

“Once you get that food in your system I’ll give you a dose of this dayquil,” Alex motioned to the bottle he held. 

I let out a long whine, “Do I have to?” 

He raised his eyebrow and I sighed. Grabbing the bowl, I looked down in surprise, “Chicken noodle soup? I didn’t realize I had any.”

“Lucky find,” Alex smiled, plopping down into the loveseat next to the couch.

“When’s your shift?” I asked before starting to eat the soup. Must I say, it was doing a number on my throat. I took a second to just drink the broth, reveling in the comfort my throat felt. 

“I’m supposed to close,” Alex sighed, kicking his feet up. I let out a sound of disapproval. “I might just tell Amy to close early though.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why?”

Alex blinked at me, giving me a look like I should already know, “To make sure you don’t rot here.”

“I’m not a kid,” I grumbled, plopping the bowl back on the coffee table.

Alex just shrugged, that boyish grin tugging on his lips, “You just ate for the first time today and it's noon.”

“That's called bad self care,” I pointed at him. 

“Exactly,” He nodded, soft curls bouncing with the motion. “Which means I’ll be here to take care of you.”

I opened my mouth, trying to think of a rebuttal, but the thought of Alex taking care of me somewhat short circuited my brain. No ones ever really taken care of me like that. Especially not since I moved out of my parents place. But even when I was an older teen, my mom just kinda expected me to care for myself. Told me where to find the medicine and left it at that. So for him to be so willing to take care of me, and admit to it so casually, it really threw me for a loop. 

“But close is when it gets busy,” I muttered back feebly as Alex poured me some dayquil. 

He looked at me with amused eyes handing the cup over, “I think you’re a bit more important.” 

I felt butterflies flow through my stomach, and I started to drink the vile liquid. Alex seemed to falter, losing a bit of confidence, “I mean…if you don’t want me to I can head out.”

I scrunched my face as I finally finished the dayquil and shook my head. I sat up fully on the couch, looking off to the side, “I just don’t want to waste your time.”

I missed the way Alex frowned, eyebrows furrowing. I didn’t realize he sat next to me until the couch dipped, and we sat thigh to thigh. I looked over to him, unsure if I may have gone too far with my self depreciation. I know it can be a drain on people, but most of the time I don’t even realize I do it.

“Hey, look at me,” Alex murmured. My throat tightened and I turned away, coughing into my elbow. 

“I’m gonna get you sick,” I commented, scooching away slightly. Only for Alex to close the gap again.

“I don’t care,” He dismissed. “You’re important to me. Nothing I do for you would be a waste because it’s for you.”

My heart felt like it was going into overdrive. My eyes danced over his face, meeting his dark brown eyes which held such a sincere burning passion it was like I could feel gentle flames lick at my skin. Looking down, my eyes landed on the small freckle on the end of his nose which I always found incredibly cute. Finally ending at his pink lips. I felt myself flush as I realized I was staring at his lips for a little too long before rushing to meet his eyes once more.

“You keep saying stuff like that and I might just fall for you,” I muttered, my brain feeling fuzzy once more. A mix of love sickness and regular sickness. 

Alex hummed, a bashful smile forming on his face, “I’m just sayin’ the truth. But if that's the outcome I won’t complain.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore just how close we were to each other, “You’re gonna get my hopes up that I have a chance.” I said it before I could stop myself. I’ve never been so forward before. Stupid sickness, it was making it hard for me to think, to keep a filter. Stuff I typically keep to myself spilling out through insecure words. 

“With you on my mind 24/7, I think you’ve got the biggest chance,” Alex replied boldly, causing my neck to snap to him. I stared at him in shock, mouth slightly open, unsure how to reply. “N-not in a creepy way though.”

“I-is this a confession?” I asked, letting out a small cough. 

“...only if it doesn’t ruin things between us,” He replied hesitantly, his vulnerability clearly shown. 

I smiled bashfully, not believing that this was actually happening. I looked down at my hands as I fidgeted with them, “Well, it just so happens that I think about you 24/7 too. Not in a weird way.”

Alex let out a soft laugh, our eyes meeting in joy. Reaching over, he grabbed one of my hands with his, and I couldn’t help but notice how his hand seemed to engulf mine. Suddenly, he kissed my cheek.

“You’re seriously gonna get yourself sick,” I grumbled, trying to mask how much he really affected me. 

“You’re worth it.”

[ur-boyfiend]

hai , here's some chan x reader fluffy domestic stuff, if anyone wants to see a continuation lemme know ^^

you’re lying in bed on your back, eyes closed and earbuds in.  your skills at zoning out are strong, so you’re not very aware of your surroundings. you don’t have any plans for today, but your friends and boyfriend like to stop by unannounced, so you don’t particularly expect to be left alone all day. 

that’s why you’re not that surprised when you feel someone's weight drop on top of you. you pause your music and pull out your earbuds, looking up slightly to see a mop of curly blond hair. laughing quietly, you gently run your fingers through your boyfriend’s hair, and he leans into your touch. 

“what’s goin’ on channie?” he seems more tired than usual, which is saying something. he mumbles something in response, but his face is still buried in your chest so you can’t actually tell what he’s saying. 

“love, i can’t hear you.” 

he lifts his head up to look at you, and his expression almost reminds you of an upset puppy, “people don’t know how to do their jobs. i came in and nobody had finished their part of the project, you could tell they all expected me to finish it for them. so now i’m doing the entire project myself.”

you frown, knowing that being one of the best students in the music department meant people assumed chan would do their work for them if they asked. you’ve given plenty of students deadly side-eye when they tried to bother chan, but most of them just try again when you’re not there. 

“can you tell your professor?” 

chan just shakes his head, “i don’t wanna tell the professor because that’d give them the chance to get their shit together. i’ll just do the project myself and leave their names off of it, their loss.”

you laugh quietly, appreciating the pettiness. you were probably a bad influence, but because of chan’s default sweetheart personality, you were glad he wasn’t letting people take advantage of him anymore. 

“if there’s any way i can help let me know, alright?” 

“you have your own classes to work on, i don’t wanna use up your work time.” 

you shake your head, “the biggest assignment i have right now is my end of semester project for my visual arts class, my team for the year end fashion show is actually ahead of where we need to be since we’re all prone to hyperfocusing on the work.” 

chan grumbled slightly, “imagine having a team that do their work, what a concept.” 

you gently scratch at his scalp, still running your fingers through his hair, “is there anyone else in your class you could team up with? maybe not for this project, but for future ones?” 

chan shrugs, “i try not to interact with people unless they interact with me first, i don’t need to prompt people to bug me.” 

you snort, knowing how he feels. people used to treat you the same way, the difference is you’re just a lot more intimidating than him, and people figured out pretty quickly that you weren’t gonna do their work for them. 

“i think one of my friends was talking about his boyfriend needing a new team for his assignment, i’m pretty sure another one of our friends is in a similar situation… lemme ask real quick.” 

he hums in confirmation and you grab your phone from where it sat abandoned on the low shelf next to your bed, quickly putting in your passcode and opening the ‘dance hoes’ groupchat. you know each other because of how often the performance and fashion departments work together, everyone in the chat had done modeling for you at some point. 

you send a quick text, ‘hey can the catboys get online?’

quickly you get responses from two of the other chat members, both asking what was going on, one much more kindly than the other. you’re pretty sure chan has fallen asleep on you, but you keep playing with his hair as you ask the pair about what they’d mentioned earlier. 

they both give quick confirmation, and you explain your idea. both disappear for a second, before confirming that their boyfriends were down to meet up with everyone. you decide to work out a meeting time later, so you set aside your phone and curl up with chan, tugging a blanket over both of you and closing your eyes, falling asleep in your boyfriend’s arms.

[audreyscahier]

Off the Record (Pedro Pascal x OFC)

Word count: 4,560 words

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Content warnings: Daddy kink (not ddlg; she just calls him daddy a lot), oral sex (m receiving), penetrative sex, fingering, (slightly) rough sex, sweet sex, Big Dick Pedro, Soft Dom Pedro, alcohol, lingerie, a little bit of slapping, dirty talk, a hint of sugar daddy vibes

Summary: Rae is an entertainment reporter who has developed a playfully flirtatious professional relationship with Pedro over the years. Totally professional. Until he invites her to hang out in his hotel room one night after an event—strictly off the record.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and written just for fun. If RPF makes you uncomfortable, please do not continue with this post.



The convention is so crowded that it feels like an act of fate when Rae steps out for some fresh air and happens upon Pedro, alone behind one of the side buildings. He’s smoking a cigarette and he gives her a playful, guilty grimace when he spots her, gesturing with a flick of ash.

“You caught me,” he says.

“You’re such a bad boy,” she teases.

He laughs.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asks. He’s looking her up and down and she sees his eyes linger on her bare legs before drifting their way up the rest of her body. The attention makes her stand a little straighter.

She’s used to California weather. This is a rare travel assignment and she hadn’t packed well for the climate.

“Fucking freezing. But that’s the cost of beauty,” she adds loftily, like she’s done it on purpose.

He raises an eyebrow, amused. “Well, it’s paying off,” he says. “You look gorgeous.”

She gives him an appreciative smile. “It’s too bad you didn’t put any effort in; we could’ve looked good together.”

It’s a joke. He’s wearing a cozy, well-fitted cashmere sweater and designer trousers, with a one-inch heeled suede boot. His dark hair is styled at the perfect in-between point of messy and coiffed, with well-defined curls that you could still run your fingers through.

Not that she’s fighting back the urge to touch him. That would be unprofessional.

He’s playing along with the joke, narrowing his eyes at her and shaking his head, ruefully. “You’re always fucking showing me up.”

Her phone vibrates and she glances at it. It’s a text from her producer, giving her a 15-minute warning for their next interview.

“Three more hours,” she sighs. “And then I’m going to go back to the Fairmont and climb under all the covers and stuff myself with room service.”

“I’m at the Fairmont, too,” he tells her. “Don’t order the crab cakes—they’re dry.”

“You should invite me over to hang out,” she says. “I can help you raid the minibar on Disney’s dime.”

He takes a drag on his cigarette and blows the smoke out of the corner of his mouth, away from her, considering it. “What’s your poison?”

“That depends,” she muses. “If you want me to stay good, I like vodka. Tequila? My clothes come right off.”

He barks out a laugh, slowly shaking his head. “Well, I’m in…” He digs in his pocket, pulling out a slim wallet and rifling for his hotel key card to find the room number. “Room 512, if you want to stop by. We can call down for salt and limes.”

It makes her heart beat a little faster, that he’s taken this past harmless flirtation and turned it into… This was an invitation, wasn’t it? Rae schools her expression, trying to remain playfully aloof.

“Maybe I’ll see you later, then,” she says, and gives him a wink as she turns to go back inside.

He opens the door on her second knock. The room is nicer than hers—it’s a king suite with a huge tub that she spots through the open bathroom door as she steps inside—and he hasn’t been in town long enough to make it very messy. The lighting is muted, just a couple of table lamps on in the corners and a golden sheen from the setting sun filtering through his open curtains. He’s kept on the nice sweater, but changed his trousers for a pair of dark, comfy-looking sweatpants, and abandoned the shoes in favor of bare feet.

Rae slips off her flats by the door, making herself at home.

“I thought you might stand me up,” he observes.

“Of course not,” she says. “It’s not like I can afford to break into my own minibar. I needed to get to yours.”

Pedro clicks his tongue, mock-hurt. “You’re using me. You know, Meryl Streep warned me about this. She said the more famous you get, the less you know who you can trust.”

He’s joking around, she knows, playing off of her comment and name-dropping the most absurd famous person he’s acquainted with just to make her laugh. But the sentiment still makes her feel a little sad, and it probably comes out too earnest when she tells him, “You can trust me.”

He looks at her and gives her a quiet smile. “Yeah, I know.”

There’s a plate of lime wedges and a shaker of salt already sitting on the counter with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. She raises an eyebrow, delighted he’s chosen her favorite vice.

“I warned you about the tequila,” she reminds him.

He makes a face, dismissive. “You don’t scare me.”

She waggles her eyebrows, like, maybe you should be scared, but he just shakes his head, amused, and pours them each a generous shot.

“Salud,” he says, clinking his glass to hers.

They don’t go overboard. A 7:00 AM wake-up in this time zone will be 4:00 AM as far as her west coast-attuned body is concerned, and she likes her job too much to sabotage it by getting seriously drunk the night before a long work day. But with two or three shots apiece, they make it through a few of the tiny, overpriced bottles, and they each have a pleasant, relaxed buzz going.

Pedro makes for good company. Off the press line and away from any cameras, inhibitions lowered by the tequila, his sense of humor comes out a little dirtier. Every time one of his jokes lands, sending her into a fit of laughter, he grins, looking pleased with himself. Not for the first time, she finds herself thinking that it’s almost maddening how charming and charismatic he is.

“You know,” Rae tells him, “A lot of fangirls out there would pay good money to take a shot with you. I’ll never be able to tell anyone about this because they’d rip me apart out of jealousy.”

“Oh please,” he teases. “Don’t pretend like you’re not right there with them, getting all hot over the Mandalorian every week.”

Her jaw drops, but she swiftly recovers. “Actually, I belong to the camp that believes Din Djarin is a virgin. I don’t think he’s probably even that good in bed.”

He’s offended. He goes from a lazy sprawl to sitting upright, just like that. “Excuse me?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Do you have a take on this? It’d be an amazing scoop if I could get a quote from you.”

“Hey,” he says warningly. “This evening is strictly off the record.”

“Of course,” she agrees. He holds up his hand, pinky extended, and she scoots closer on the couch and hooks her pinky around his, promising. “So?”

“Din Djarin is not a virgin,” he says decisively. His tone says he thinks the mere concept is ridiculous.

“Well, who has he had sex with?” she challenges him.

He counts off on his fingers. “He fucked that twi’lek girl with the knives—”

“Xi’an,” she supplies.

“Of course you remember her name,” he laughs, but not unkindly. They both know she’s nerdier about Star Wars lore than he is. He ticks off the next finger. “He fucked Omera. He obviously fucked Cobb Vanth, if you can’t see that you’re blind.”

He has to raise his voice to be heard over her laughter. He’s holding back his amusement, too.

“I can’t believe you’re questioning Mando’s sex life when you’re the one calling him a daddy all the time.”

“Uh uh,” she corrects him. “I think you’re a daddy.”

Over the course of the conversation she’d continued to unconsciously slide closer to him, and now as he watches her in amused contemplation, they suddenly feel very close. The realization of it, in the silence following her overtly flirtatious statement, makes her smile fall and her pulse pick up. She looks down, taking a breath, and when she glances up he’s still looking at her face. His voice has turned husky when he speaks again.

“Can I kiss you?”

She bites her lip, trying to stay cool, and nods. He leans in closer, lightly gripping her chin under his thumb.

“Yes?” he checks.

“Yes,” she says breathlessly.

His lips are soft, and dry, and a little tangy from the salt and lime they’ve both been consuming. He slips his tongue lightly over her bottom lip, adding a little glide to the kiss. She follows his lead, melting into him and feeling flushed. He’s cupping her face, and the firm press of his hand on her cheek is simultaneously grounding and makes her feel like she’s caught up in a dream.

“Can I—” she starts. She curls her fingers, closing around nothing. His eyes are dark, watching her patiently. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” he murmurs. He takes her hand in his and guides it to rest on his upper thigh, close enough the permission is clear—not so close that he’s making her move too fast.

He kisses her again, and she closes her eyes and lets herself follow her instincts. Her fingers inch higher on his lap until she feels his bulge, stiffening under the soft fabric. She runs her fingers along him and his breath hitches. She squeezes, lightly, and he grunts, shifting his hips up into her touch.

“Can I—” she starts again. He cuts her off, answering against her skin as he works his mouth down the length of her neck, telling her, “Yes,” before she can finish the question. “Yes.”

So she makes her way to the edge of the couch and sinks onto her knees on the floor, pushing his legs open to settle between them. He’s looking down at her there, looking turned on, looking like he likes what he sees—but when she reaches for him he stops her, grabbing her wrists in one hand.

“Wait,” he says. His voice is lust-rough. With his other hand, he picks at the fabric of her top. “Take these off first.”

She bites her lip, feeling a rush of arousal pulse through her to pool between her legs. She misses his grip when he lets go of her wrists, but she stands obediently and strips off her clothes, until she’s down to just her underwear. Pedro’s mouth falls open, taking her in. Focusing in on the matching bra and panties.

“You brought this for a work trip?” he asks, sounding awed.

Maybe she hadn’t done such a bad job of packing her suitcase, after all.

“I just… like lingerie. I like to wear it under my regular clothes,” she tells him. “It makes me feel sexy.”

She does a slow turn, letting him see the cheeky cut of her panties.

He looks a little dazed. “It’s very sexy.”

His gaze follows her breasts, perched filling out the lacy, balconette cups of her bra, as she kneels before him again. This time he doesn’t stop her when she reaches forward, brushing her hands over his growing bulge as she grasps his waistband and tugs it down to unveil him to her.

She was certain it would be big, but the sight of his cock still makes her mouth drop open and her eyes widen as she takes it in. Her hands look small, touching him, wrapping around his length. She feels that rush again, pussy going wet and her mouth watering for him. She licks her lips, purses them tight, and leans in to slide her mouth open around the tip of his cock.

He swears.

She sinks her hot mouth onto him, sucking him off and savoring it, her saliva mixing with the mild salt-tang spurts of his pre-come spilling onto her tongue. She slides her hands down to the base of his cock where she can’t reach her mouth, slicking him up and working over his length in firm strokes.

Rae pulls back for a moment, wanting to watch his face while she jerks him off. She has one hand wrapped around his shaft and she reaches the other down to massage over his balls. His eyes are heavy-lidded, watching her, and his breath is unsteady, hips twitching like he wants to thrust hard into her heat. He grabs the back of her head with one large hand, tugging her forward just gently, telling her without words that he wants her mouth back on him. When she doesn’t take him in immediately, he taps his cock lightly against her cheek, nudging at the corner of her mouth.

Her eyes flutter closed. “You can be rough with me,” she tells him. “I like it.”

“You like it?” he repeats. There’s a pause, as she meets his hot gaze and silently nods. “Then take it.”

Pedro’s grip is tight on the back of her neck as he forces his cock past the seam of her lips. He fills her mouth, hitting against her throat, and she moans, focusing on avoiding him with her teeth and distracted by the way her clit throbs from the rough treatment. Her body is rocking, legs pressed tight together, head bobbing on his dick, all her senses overwhelmed by the taste and smell and sound of him—by his soft stomach where she’s braced one hand, tucked under his shirt, and the ache in her jaw and her vision blurring with unshed tears from taking him too far and starting to choke.

He pulls her off, to let her get her breath back, and squeezes his fingers around the base of his dick, steadying himself as she runs the back of her hand over her wet mouth, wiping away the drool that’s gone running down her chin.

“Come here,” he says, gentle again. He pulls her into his lap, straddling his legs, and kisses her softly at the corners of her mouth, soothing over her swollen lips.

He runs his thumbs delicately along the tops of her bra cups, feeling the lace bordering her soft skin, then smooths his hands down her sides to her hips. He looks up, watching her face as he slides one hand over the thin fabric of her panties, but his controlled expression changes as much as hers does when he touches her and feels the arousal soaking through.

“You got that wet for me?” he rasps. “From sucking my cock?”

She nods slowly, feeling exposed and shivery under his gaze, turned on even more by hearing those words in his deep voice.

“I told you I liked it,” she whispers.

His jaw clenches. He slips his fingers under the fabric, teasing over her skin, feeling along her folds—watching her gasp when he finds her clit. Then he pinches it, hard enough to make her cry out and buck her hips in his lap, and her breath comes out unsteady when he lets go.

“Rae,” he says. “Go get in my bed.”

The command sends a wave of calm through her system. She takes a deep breath. “Yes, daddy,” she murmurs, and climbs carefully off of his lap.

In the bedroom, she follows his instruction, stripping off her lingerie and tossing it aside before climbing onto the plush bed. She leans back on her elbows, legs demurely crossed at the ankles, and watches him pull his sweater over his head, revealing his softly toned body and broad shoulders. Then he shoves the sweatpants off his hips, stepping out of them where they pool at his feet, and her gaze is drawn back to his cock, bobbing enticingly between his legs. Her eyes glaze over, hypnotized with want.

He kneels onto the bed, reaching to uncross her ankles and make space between her legs. His eyes rake over her, drinking her in, absently biting his bottom lip as he lingers on her pussy. Then he makes his way up, straddling her thigh, one knee by her hip and the other just below her cunt, not quite close enough for her to grind against his leg like she thinks she might like to try. He kneels over her like that, leaning forward to brace one hand next to her shoulder, and caresses her face with the other, running his fingers lightly over her cheekbone. She melts under him, meeting his dark eyes, taking in his handsome face and his lush lips and thinking maybe he’ll kiss her again.

Pedro slaps her face, just hard enough to send a jolt through her, making her gasp. Her eyes snap back to his, pulse racing.

“Tell me what you want,” he demands, voice gone husky.

“I—I want your cock,” she moans.

“Tell me,” he says. “Say it again.”

“Please,” she begs, “I want your big fucking fat cock, daddy.”

He laughs, a low, dirty chuckle. “Where do you want it, baby?”

Her face is flushed; her whole body is on fire, all hot and needy for him. “In my pussy.”

“Yeah?” He rubs his hand over her mound, warm on the smooth-shaven skin, then feels down into her slick folds where she’s soaking wet. “Your pretty little pussy? You think she can take it?”

“Yes,” she whines. He pushes three thick fingers inside her, making her cry out and tilt her hips up, greedy for it. His knees are spread wide to balance himself and hold her legs pushed open with his own. When she writhes under him he sets his weight down harder, pinning her.

With his free hand, he slaps her tit. The sting makes her yelp and her cunt clenches tight around his fingers. He twists and pulls them free, then thrusts inside her again, working in and out until she feels like she can’t form a full thought, head all empty but for the sound of her moans and his hot, heavy breath, and the fast, dirty squelching sound her pussy makes as he fucks her hard.

When he pulls his hand away she can see her slick coating his fingers, shining wet in the dim lamplight. He falls forward so that he’s hovering directly over her and feeds his fingers into her mouth, making her taste her own arousal. Her eyes flutter closed as she sucks them clean.

“Dirty girl,” he murmurs. He pulls his fingers gently out and lowers his face to hers instead, giving her a deep kiss to chase the taste of her with his tongue.

He grinds his hard cock into her hip and eventually pulls out of the kiss, murmuring against her mouth, “I have to grab a condom.” He brushes his thumb over her mouth as he pulls away, tender. “You still good?”

“Mmm,” she breathes. “So good.”

He rifles in his travel bag, unzipping a small pouch and retrieving a condom packet. When he returns to the bed, he runs his hand along her thigh and then slaps her flank. “Get on your knees.”

She rolls over, pushing up onto her knees, and braces her forearms on the bed, arching her back. It feels primal, presenting her cunt like this for him to take, and behind her he growls with want.

She feels the head of his cock press blunt and thick at her entrance, and he starts working his length into her in shallow, prodding thrusts, a little deeper each time. He starts slow—he has to, she’s so fucking tight around him, and it’s only because she’s so turned on that the stretch isn’t too much to take. Gradually, he pushes his cock into her hot, slick center, and it leaves her gasping for air, like he’s fucking all the way up into her lungs.

“Christ,” he groans. His voice has gone impossibly deeper. “You feel so fucking good, baby. How does that feel?”

She tries to speak and it comes out a strangled moan, incomprehensible.

He withdraws a little, fighting against the grip of her pussy trying to keep him inside. His hands are strong on her hips, holding her in place.

“Tell me,” he commands. He thrusts in again as she opens her mouth, and she cries out.

“Tell me, baby. Tell me how this cock feels in your sweet—little—pussy—” He emphasizes each word with a deep thrust. She feels lightheaded from it, but it’s like it breaks something inside her and her tongue finally works again, babbling needy words at him.

“It’s so good, fuck, it feels so good, daddy,” she moans. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me—” The friction is easier now, with her body opening up to take him, and he’s moving faster. She’s gripping desperately into the bedsheets above her head, moving with the push-pull rhythm of his sex, and she’s starting to feel almost high from it, a little spaced out on the sensation of his dick driving into her.

He leans forward, draping hot over her back, and it shifts the angle of his thrusts, so that he’s suddenly hitting a spot that makes her see stars.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit—” He probably can’t make out the words; her voice is muffled in the sheets. Her body is trembling, on that pre-orgasmic high, pure pleasure running through her with every stroke of his huge dick. She wishes she could stay suspended like this forever, in this luxurious bed being fucked by this perfect cock, balancing right on the cusp of ecstasy.

When she comes, she collapses flat onto her belly, shattered, and he follows her down, pinning her to the bed and continuing to fuck her just as hard. She cries out, the sounds of her orgasm tearing out of her throat and ringing in her ears as her pussy pulses and flutters around him. Finally, he slows and pulls out of her, and the sudden emptiness feels too big, like he’s left her hollowed out in the tender space of her cunt. He turns her over, onto her back, and braces over her, eyes focused on her face when he slides his dick back inside and fills her in again. She whimpers, needy and overwhelmed, feeling every long, slow inch of his cock dragging through her.

He kisses her, languid tongue matching his steady thrusts. It’s intimate in a way Rae’s not sure she’s earned the right to be with him. But it doesn’t surprise her, learning he’s sweet like this. He’s always looked at her like he wants the eye contact, like he wants to be close, like he thrives on connection. She’s always seen him act kindly to everyone in the room, and it only follows that when you’re the only one in the room with him, he’d devote himself to you and take his time.

She wants to make him feel good. To see him lose control and let go. She squeezes her cunt around him, experimentally, and he breaks their kiss to exhale a gasping breath, rhythm faltering.

“Fuck,” he breathes, mouth on her chin. “Do that again.”

She clenches again, running her hands down his body, teasing at him with her long nails and feeling him tremble. “You feel so good, daddy,” she whispers. “Your cock is so big, I don’t—fuck!” she exclaims, when his pace picks up and he rams into her, harder. “I don’t know how you even fucking fit inside me, your big—fuck—fucking cock—shit—”

He’s panting, making ragged, desperate sounds, pushing up into her like he can bury himself even deeper. Teeth sharp, biting at her jaw. She’s not even thinking about the words spilling out of her, just lets every filthy thought slip free, riling him up. “Fuck me, daddy, fuck—you’re fucking splitting me in half—I want you to come inside me—fill me up—I want it, I want it, I want it—”

He groans, hiding his face in her neck, stiffening and releasing inside of her. She wishes, insanely, that he had fucked her bareback so she could feel it coating her pussy, dripping out after. She would have let him if he wanted to, she thinks, and it’s a terrible thing to realize about herself.

It doesn’t stop her from holding him in place before he can pull out, keeping him deep inside her cunt, and rubbing at her swollen clit until she comes on his dick one last time, savoring the orgasm and the rumbling sound of his groans in her ears.

He doesn’t try to kick her out after—in fact, he orders a slice of caramel cheesecake from the room service menu and asks if Rae wants something, too—but in the end, she reluctantly says that she should go.

“I have to be up early to interview that kid from the new Marvel movie,” she sighs.

Pedro laughs, unsympathetic. “Oh, your life is so hard.”

“Yeah, harder now,” she complains. “I’m gonna be walking funny on the press line tomorrow.”

He bites back a laugh, but then furrows his brow in concern. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

She hums, giving her nude, exhausted body an experimental stretch. “That was the biggest dick I’ve ever taken,” she tells him. “And… it was the best.”

He relaxes again, looking like he’s not trying very hard to hide a satisfied smirk.

“Don’t let it go to your head or anything.”

“Oh,” he says, shaking his head dismissively, “Way too late for that, sweetheart.”

When she sees him again they’re back in LA, at a premiere for his new indie film. He greets her with a familiar, professional smile, but she can see the change in how he looks at her now, the new, interested sparkle in his eyes and how he lingers on her longer. He gives her a tight hug goodbye, murmuring, “Bye, baby,” too quiet for the mic to pick up, and she slips a folded note into his hand as she pulls away.

I had to buy a bigger toy—you’ve ruined me. Asshole.

She hears his dirty, delighted cackle and she fights to school her face, tamping down the light, giddy feeling in her chest as she turns her focus to the next guest on the press line.

She’s not sure how he got her home address. It probably wasn’t that hard, she supposes, to have his agent contact her company and sweet talk it out of them with the promise of exclusive promo material, or something of that kind. It’s probably not worth questioning how one of the biggest rising stars on the planet can get something he wants. In any event, she’s grateful he did, because she might have received this package in the middle of the office, otherwise, and that would have been more than a little embarrassing.

He’s got her size right. She wonders if he’d snuck a peek at the tags before she put her underwear back on—if he was already planning this even then. The thought of it makes her feel—something. She’s not sure what it makes her feel. She’s walking a tightrope between a dangerous mistake and total euphoria and it’s all she can do to keep her balance, because she can’t risk taking a misstep.

The set is from a luxury brand so expensive she would never buy it for herself. It’s an ethereal blend of ribbon and tulle, the thong nothing more than a scrap of beautiful fabric, and she knows it will have cost him several hundred dollars.

There’s a gift note, sitting on top of the tissue paper-wrapped goods.

A ‘sorry for ruining you’ gift. So you can feel sexy at the season 3 premiere. Show me after, if you want.

-P

Her stomach swoops, as she tries not to fall.

[thelonelyarchon]

📮RETURN TO SENDER ᯓᡣ𐭩

004 - rejected

Note: written text up ahead after divider

ONCE you turned the knob of the door that leads you to the living room, you half-expected to deal with the questions your other friends had for you. Locking yourself in the bathroom for five hours is not normal per se, but it was much needed for your sanity.

You’re surprised by the lack of your other friends’ presence. To give you and Kaveh some space to reconcile, they’ve stealthily hidden themselves behind a large china cabinet. You noticed them either way. If Kaveh noticed their presence too, he didn’t make it obvious that he did.

Kaveh stood in the middle of the room with a tight-lipped expression and guilty eyes that one would think he did something more horrible than just sending out a letter that wasn’t supposed to be sent. You narrowed your eyes at him. He winces.

Proud as you were, you knew Kaveh didn’t do anything wrong. He had only followed the instruction you have given him in the first place. Maybe your stubbornness looked for excuses to rationalize your own fault so Kaveh who had done the unthinkable got your rage.

When you see his guilty state, you sighed and walked towards.

“Ten minutes. Let’s talk this out.” You said in a weak voice.

Kaveh looked like a wilted flower. At the sound of your voice, he perks up just fine. He had been blaming himself for being reckless. As anyone who knew him would comment on that particular trait. He didn’t want you to hate him for this.

“Hey, I’m sorry, [name.]” He starts. You shake your head.

“What do you mean? I should be the one saying sorry. Between the two of us, it was my fault.”

“I mailed the letter.”

“I told you to mail them, though. You didn’t know which one is which so it was my fault,” you walked closer to him. “For that… I’m sorry. Don’t work yourself up too much.”

In an attempt to console him of the guilt he has, you pat his shoulder and give him a smile. He hesitantly smiled back.

“Also, if you think I’m mad because you were the one who sent the letter, you’re wrong. I’m mad at myself.” You laugh.

“So, this is settled now? Are we friends again?” Kaveh asked.

“It depends on the contents of that letter.” You used your lips to point at the letter on his hand, hanging at his side. He looks at it and raises it.

“It’s from Alhaitham.”

“I know.”

“You may not like the contents.”

“I know.”

“You still want to read it?” He confirms for the third time. You grab it from his hand and nods. Kaveh sucks in a sharp breath and waits.

You opened the letter and scanned the contents of the letter. The more you read the letter, the more your vision began to blur and the whirlwind of emotions began to suffocate you. You feel your heart breaking with each line coming from Alhaitham. You already expected this kind of reply. But it still hurt deep inside. To stop you from reading it, Kaveh covers your vision of the letter with his hand.

“That’s enough,” he said softly.

“I guess we’re not friends anymore, Kaveh.” You laugh jokingly through streams of tears. “I need a moment.”

“S-sure.” He watches you as you walk towards the other end of your dorm. You weakly throw Alhaitham’s letter away before sitting out on the small hanging balcony. Out of curiosity, Kaveh walked towards the bin and reads your letter. He notices the original letter he sent to Alhaitham.

Dear [Name],

I hope this letter finds you in good health. To begin with, I did not expect to receive such a letter on such short notice. I have read the contents of your letter thoroughly, and I have contemplated what to write back to you in correspondence.

I must admit I am flustered by your words of praises, Ms. [Name]. However, I would like to apologize for being a bearer of bad news.

Though I appreciate your enthusiasm and 'profound love for me,' I regret to inform you that I cannot return those feelings.

My feelings are reserved only for the one who makes my heart beat with fervor. I’m afraid someone already has the right to those feelings.

Enclosed with this reply is your letter. It may be best for me to return it to you. If we ever pass by each other or whether or not you approach me some other time, I shall treat you as though I know nothing so we may start anew.

I hope I didn’t ruin this day any further for you. For all that it’s worth, happy valentine’s day. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,

Alhaitham

Kaveh sighs and reaches the letter on the trash bin. He didn’t know what to do with it but something in him is saying that this will be needed someday. Maybe he’ll keep it safe until then. Maybe [Name] will need it someday.

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TAGLIST: @makimakimi @yura-4life

[storiesforallfandoms]

baby mama ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2655

request?: yes!

@kellysimagines​ “well I had one in mind where the reader and colson have a child but are not together anymore and hes dating Megan now but the reader and colson have good contact for their child but also together and she comes over alot and also to bring and pick up their child and she secretly still loves him and Megan somehow knows and she demands that colson stops with the contact and he gets mad at her and wont do it cause they havea kid together and he begins to realise he also still loves her and breaks things off with megan and they talk again t eachother and get back together? :)”

description: in which his new girlfriend does not like how close he is to the mother of his child

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

When Colson and I broke up we made a promise to one another that we would stay civil for the sake of our one year old daughter, Melody.

The break up wasn’t bad to begin with. Colson was busy and constantly working, meanwhile I was home dealing with my pregnancy on my own, and then I was raising Melody on my own. It felt like we were just growing apart and we decided to end things before our relationship took a negative turn. It was hard because I very much did still love Colson, but I knew it was best for us and for Melody.

Colson continued to be in Melody’s life. When he wasn’t touring or filming, he would come over to take Melody. He would spend so much of his free time with her and Casie; his girls. Sometimes he would even invite me to come with them. He was, unsurprisingly, a great father, and something I would convince myself that this civil co-parenting thing would result in us getting back together eventually.

And then he brought Megan over to meet me.

I was getting Melody ready for Colson to pick her up when I heard the front door to my apartment open. I wasn’t too concerned, I usually left the door unlocked when Colson texted me to let me know he was coming to get Melody.

But then an unfamiliar female voice asked, “You just...walk in? You don’t knock?”

“I texted her to tell her we were on the way,” Colson’s voice responded. “She leaves the door unlocked for me.”

“Why?”

I stepped out before Colson answered to see him stood in my porch with a woman. But not just any woman. He was stood there with Megan Fox.

“Oh, hello,” I said. “I had no idea Colson was bringing a guest over. I’m sorry the place isn’t really prepared for guests.”

“Colson is a guest. You knew he was coming,” Megan said.

I didn’t really know how to answer that. The look Megan was giving me was not a friendly one. It made me feel so small and insignificant.

Colson didn’t notice as he happily introduced us. “Megan, this is (Y/N), Melody’s mom. (Y/N), this is Megan. I wanted to bring her by to meet you before you heard the news through some bullshit tabloid website.”

It took me a moment to realize what he meant and I tried to make sure my expression showed only shock and not the heartbreak I was also feeling.

“Oh, good for you, Colson,” I managed, with real shock by fake enthusiasm. “And it’s really nice to meet you, Megan.”

I extended a hand to her. She glanced at it for a moment, a look of disgust passing through her eyes before she took my hand and gave it a quick shake.

Colson let himself into my place, as he usually did, and effortlessly made his way to the living room where Melody was watching cartoons in her playpen. Megan seemed shocked by Colson’s comfortability in my apartment, but followed him anyways.

“Hello beautiful princess,” Colson cooed. Melody immediately smiled at the sight of her father. “Are you ready to come with daddy and his new friend?”

Melody cooed in response. Colson took her from her playpen as I went to grab the overnight bag I had packed for her.

“What’s your plan for the day?” I asked.

“I was thinking of taking Melody to the park while we wait for Casie to get out of school. Then we’re going out for dinner. Did you want to come? Casie has been asking to see you again.”

Normally, I would happily accept his offer. I loved to spend time with Casie and still considered her to be like my step daughter even though Colson and I weren’t together anymore. But I could see Megan stood behind Colson, glaring daggers into the back of his head before turning her deathly glare on me. She very clearly did not want me to join them in their plans.

“I...I actually have a lot to do around the house,” I told him. “Maybe next time.”

Colson wasn’t discouraged by my rejection. He shrugged and took the overnight bag from me. “I’ll have her back tomorrow evening.”

I saw them both out, calling for them to have a good time. Colson paused to turn back and wave Melody’s tiny hand at me. Megan silently got into the front seat and slammed the door shut.

I knew there was going to be some trouble in paradise over this whole visit.

I was proven right later that night when I texted Colson after not hearing from him all day. Usually, when he had Melody and I Wasn’t with them, he would send me messages and picture updates. The fact that he hadn’t texted me at all was starting to worry me.

It was a simple, friendly text: “hey, just checking in. is Melody okay? :)”

The response was quick and colder than normal: “she’s fine. we’ll be back tomorrow.”

I sighed and placed my phone aside. I figured that our “civil” co-parenting relationship was officially over because Megan didn’t like it. I guess I should’ve expected this for whenever Colson got a new girlfriend, but I hoped he would care enough about Melody to stand up for this decision we had made.

Or maybe I hoped he still loved me enough to want me in his life.

When he came by to drop Melody home the next evening, he knocked at my front door - further proving that he was allowing Megan to wedge herself between us.

I wasn’t shocked to see her in the passenger seat of Colson’s car, watching the two of us like a hawk.

“Hey,” I said, putting on a smile for Melody’s sake. “Hello mama’s girl. Did you have a good time with daddy?”

Colson passed her to me, a ghost of a smile on his face before it disappeared. “I’ll - uh - be back again next week. I’ll let you know when I’ll come by to get her.”

“Yeah...okay.”

You could cut the tension with a steak knife.

I closed the door as Colson made his way back to his car; back to Megan.

I looked at the sweet infant in my arms. “I think things are about to become very tense between mommy and daddy.”

~~~~~~

I didn’t hear from Colson for the next week, which I tried not to let bother me. If he was going to let a new girlfriend get between the promise he made to his daughter, that was his choice.

When he finally texted me, it was early one morning to let me know he was on his way to pick up Melody. and he’d likely be taking her for a few nights. I opted not to respond and just went to pack the bag for Melody’s visit.

A knock came at the front door. I went to answer and was shocked to find that Megan wasn’t with him.

“Hey,” he said.

“I’m still packing Melody’s bag,” I said, coolly.

“That’s okay. Can I come in while I wait?”

“I don’t know. Are you allowed to come in?”

Colson grimaced, which made me feel some pride. At least he was feeling bad for letting Megan control him the way she had.

I stepped aside and gestured for Colson to come in. I expected him to just wait in the porch since apparently it was a very big deal to his relationship if he came any further than the front door, but he walked in like he always did, making his way to the living room to see Melody. His mood immediately changed when his eyes landed on his daughter. He sat down next to her on the floor and started playing with the toys she had scattered around her.

I packed her bag as quickly as I could, still fearing the worst. It was Colson’s decision if he no longer wanted to be civil because of Megan, but I refused to be on the receiving end of Megan’s venom. She had to know there was nothing between Colson and I. He had chosen her. That was the end of it. There was no need for this childish jealousy she was seemingly displaying.

When I walked back out to the living room, I was hit with a flash of what life was like before Colson and I split up. He had her on his lap, both of their eyes glued to the TV where Melody’s favorite cartoons were playing. I had seen this image many times before when I was living at Colson’s house after Melody was born. I found myself longing for those days again, but quickly shook myself out of that train of thought.

“Here,” I said, holding the bag out to him. “She should be set for however long you decide to keep her, but if you need anything you can let me know.”

Colson stood from his spot on the floor, Melody in one arm as he took the bag with the other. “Thanks.”

A tense silence fell over us. We were just stood there, looking at one another. I tried not to get lost in those blue eyes that I loved so much because it just made my heart hurt even more. I hated having to remind myself that he wasn’t mine anymore. He belonged to someone else now.

“(Y/N),” he started, but then hesitated. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry.”

I felt a lump growing in my throat at his apology. I turned way from him, trying to make it seem like I was busy picking up Melody’s toys. “Shouldn’t you be going? Wouldn’t want Megan getting upset because you’re here too long.”

“We broke up.”

I turned quickly to look back at him. “What?”

Colson sighed and placed Melody back on the floor, along with her bag. He gestured to the couch, “Can we sit and talk? I think I have some explaining to do.”

I sat next to him. I was feeling very cautious for some reason. Like I needed to have my guard up in case this was some “gotcha” moment he was trying to pull on me. He wouldn’t look at me at first, opting instead to look at his lap as he spoke.

“The way I’ve been acting the last week...it wasn’t right. We made a promise to be civil for Melody’s sake no matter what, and the way I was acting wasn’t civil.”

“No, it wasn’t,” I agreed. “It really hurt me that you were so quick to throw away that promise for the first person you dated after we broke up.”

“I know. It wasn’t fair to you or to Melody. But after we came to get Melody that day, Megan just started freaking out when we were alone. She said that me and you were far too comfortable with one another for her liking, and she said it was obvious there were still feelings between us and that made her uncomfortable.”

I shook my head, trying to hide my face in case it displayed any signs of Megan’s analysis being right. “We’re just close for the sake of Melody. You’re the same way with Emma.”

“Yeah, that’s what I told her. But then she brought up me inviting you to come with us, and she wouldn’t listen when I told her that we always go out together and I didn’t invite you to be disrespectful to her or to make her uncomfortable. So I just left it. I told her I wouldn’t do that if it made her so upset, but she escalated it to she didn’t want me to talk to you at all unless it had to do with Melody, and she didn’t want me coming over and being all friendly in your apartment.”

I rolled my eyes. “And you agreed to that?”

He shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do? She was upset. She was freaking out in the car with Melody. I didn’t want her to scare Melody, so I just said I would to calm her down.”

I clenched my jaw at the thought of Megan scaring my child. If she was the result of anything negative happening to Melody, she’d be seeing me much more than she would want to.

“She seemed satisfied when I dropped Melody off the next day and it was a quick exchange and then we left. She saw that you had texted me that night and told me she didn’t like that, so I refrained from texting you the next week just to make her happy. But after a few days I realized that I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t talking to you and we weren’t going out and doing things as a family with Casie. I mean, yeah Megan was nice enough to the girls and Casie got along with her, but it’s not the same way you get along with Casie. She even asked me when she would get to see you again. Not when Megan was around, luckily.”

“So...what, you broke up with her because she didn’t like that you were close to the mother of your child?” I asked.

“No. Well...kind of. That was part of it. I tried to talk to her again to assure her that there was nothing between us besides the love for our daughter, but I realized as I was saying it that it wasn’t true. Because...that week of not taking to you was like hell to me, (Y/N). I hated it. Not sending you pictures or videos of Melody that day I had her killed me, and then to give you the cold shoulder and not talk to you at all for a week made me realize that...that I love you too much to not have you in my life.”

My heart skipped a couple beats. I tried to tell myself he didn’t mean it in a romantic way, but it was hard to deny his meaning when he was looking at me the way he was. With the love in his eyes that I used to see when we first got together; when I was pregnant with Melody; after Melody was born.

“This is going to be really awkward if you don’t feel the same way,” he continued. “But I don’t regret breaking up with Megan for you. Even if you don’t have feelings for me anymore and that potential romance between us is done forever, I still want to be in your life. I still want to be a family with you and Melody and Casie. But if that’s not what you want, I understand. I treated you like shit this last week because of someone I thought I loved, and if you don’t want to give me another chance because of that I understand. But I - ”

I cut off his rambling by jumping into his lap and attaching my lips to his. It took him by surprise at first, but he soon was kissing me back. His hands were roaming my body while mine were running through his soft hair. We were so lost in one another that we forgot we had a child sitting on the floor just inches away from us until she started cooing.

We pulled apart to look down at Melody, who was watching us with big, blue eyes; a mirror image of her dad’s. We looked back at each other and started to laugh.

“Why don’t you come over tonight, too?” Colson asked. “That is, if you don’t have any plans.”

“I don’t have any plans for the next few days,” I told him.

He smiled up at me and I smiled back. I quickly got off his lap and raced for my room to pack an overnight bag for myself.

[yuseirra]

I've actually become really.. Even more confident with my hikaai analyses (until I get proven wrong..haha) hear me out on why I feel this way, okay?

In the latest chapter, it was revealed that Ai's boyfriend is someone who offers things for Ai, and falls into ruin because of it. He believes there is some kind of destiny for himself. That much, we can all agree with, huh?

If that’s the case, then "Fatal" is this person’s song.

In that case, I’ve already secured the basic points if this were a test, and now I’m just waiting to collect the extra points!

It’s not really about me trying to convince myself...this is really true!

From the start, I always predicted that Hikaru’s breakdown only happened after Ai’s death. The question was never whether he fell apart, but rather how much. He’s always been such an ambiguous character whose exact actions were left unclear.

I got this part right, and honestly, it was the most important part. It wasn’t this person who harmed Ai. (So actually, Aqua’s target for revenge is no longer this person. It’s easy to miss this since the story moves so quickly.)

It’s also confirmed that he was originally a genuinely good person. This part was validated when the god herself confirmed he had a noble and refined soul.

This means Hikaru is not the kind of person who falls into ruin just because something bad happens to him. It was Ai’s death that led to his downfall. In fact, considering everything this character has been through, this makes him closer to "kind," and his mental fortitude is incredibly strong. The idea of him being "noble" aligns well with this. So, ultimately, this confirms that the personality depicted in the flashbacks(the movie arc) is accurate to his true character.

If this is the case, it also explains why Ai liked him so much and wanted to save him, making everything fall into place.

Now, the only question that remains is whether he will actually be saved or if he will remain a terrible criminal. (And honestly, this is the same situation the character was in before the movie arc—it’s like we’ve come full circle. However, now there’s the added advantage of two key pieces of information: Ai wanted to save him, and he really was originally a good person.)

To be honest... I feel like we need to see how the character himself acts before we can properly judge him.

It’s similar to judging a real person.

I feel it’s still too early to jump to conclusions just from seeing a text that goes he's a terrible guy who's killed a lot of people. There hasn’t been a single image of him doing anything specific yet... So, while we can take it into consideration, it is only when we get more detailed flashbacks or scenes where the character himself expresses his own thoughts, that will likely confirm everything.

Given that everything I predicted so far has been right(I really, really did get so many things accurately), it feels highly likely that the story will go the way Ai hoped, with this character being saved.

I’ve been following closely, and I've noticed that even in his "ruined" state, this character still shows a lot of kindness. Plus, he’s an actor and just as much of a liar as Ai was, so you have to really pay attention to interpret him correctly. You can’t just believe what you see!

Right now, I’ve scored over 70 points out of 100 if this were to be a test, but I feel confident that I’ll end up with over 90.

Since we’ve already established that he didn’t hurt Ai and that Ai genuinely wanted to help him, this means there’s a strong narrative push in that direction, and my conclusions about the character are likely to be right, which makes me feel even more confident.

If "Fatal" really is this character’s song, then yes, the emotions in that song—desire, disappointment, despair—are definitely present.

But surprisingly, the song has much less selfishness or possessiveness than one might expect. So, I felt like it wasn’t such a bad kind of love, which is why I’ve depicted that couple so much.

It’s a love where you give and give, without expecting much in return. You just want to hear their voice, to catch their gaze, to have them comfort your pain again. The lyrics even mention that their "fatale" belongs to "no one". It’s a kind of selfless love where you want them so desperately that you can’t live without them, while offering up everything you have, but asking for so little in return. This is a very devoted love. If it were one-sided, it might feel overwhelming or creepy, but with Ai and Hikaru, it’s mutual.

If you look at Hikaru’s actions in Chapter 160 (his testimony is likely the truth, even if Tsukuyomi’s stated goal is real, that kind of motivation would only arise after Ai’s death.) It means this person didn’t have confidence that Ai loved him, so he desperately craved her love in this way. That makes it pitiful. He makes a pass to be Ai's lover, in my book. He seems like a good person. And I take love VERY seriously... haha... I believe love isn’t about receiving, but more about giving. It’s about giving without regret... The narrators of "Mephisto" and "Fatal" embody this a lot.

They don’t ask for much from the other person while giving everything they have. That’s the kind of love Ai’s boyfriend has. What he gives may be a question,(or questionable) but I doubt Ai would have failed to notice a guy capable of harming Ruby(their own daughter for goodness sake) or involved in serial killings... haha. Plus, if he’s described as once having been "noble", a person like that probably wouldn’t cross that final line. Ruby didn't, and I find Ruby having taken after his character quite a bit, they make the same expressions. There’s a higher chance he kept his boundaries intact.

Things will unfold the way Ai wanted them to. The things this person has actually done are quite different from what’s been said about him.

He’s not someone who acts strongly or aggressively—he’s too gentle for that. It’s not that he’s pretending to be kind while having a foul heart; rather, I see he’s pretending to be dark when he’s actually not, which is why his true nature shows through.

It’s true that Ai found and fell in love with a genuinely good person, and they had a period where they were happily together. So I can already see the story heading towards him being saved after being broken by her loss. Ai wants to save the boy who's been deeply suffering and is straying far off after what's happened to her. That's the narrative the story is heading towards, it's the most natural path and I see it coming. Ai is right. She found someone REALLY sweet and he got destroyed, so she wants to help him get back to the way he was.

I’ve gotten the overall structure right, and now I just need to collect the extra points :)

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello I just wanted to express a frustration with communication that I feel like you share?

I’m severely dyslexic, like to the point it affects my ability to communicate in text or spend time in the textual world. It’s obviously not the same thing as being nonverbal, and I am able to communicate through text. But it’s so frustrating how others make me feel less than, or bad for having a disability. It really sucks how little of the online world/online disabled communities supports those of us who struggle with reading/writing. Idk. I just feel so alone and a lot of people don’t take me seriously or make fun of me :(

Hello anon! I don’t get how you feel, but I know someone who does. I have dyslexia myself, however I have grown proficient in typing and reading due to LOTS of therapy and work. I used to be severely dyslexic myself until around 8th-9th grade. Not at all saying that you aren’t working, sometimes things just don’t work out the way they did for me. And your level of skill is completely valid and I am proud of you.

My sister, has Alexia and severe dyslexia. And although her experiences are not the same as just having dyslexia, she gets it in a sense. She’s unable to read much, and is considered illiterate.

Sorry if that doesn’t make you feel better, I’m not trying to make this a “oh I know how you feel moment” but I think it’s good to know that SOMEONE knows how you feel. And I know several of my learning disabled followers and mutuals know how you feel or have similar feelings. What I’m trying to get at is that you aren’t alone in this. You aren’t alone in the harassment or bullying, you aren’t alone for any of it.

Dyslexia I feel like is not a commonly talked about disorder, although it affects many a lot. I’m so so sorry to hear that you have people being mean to you, I bet that’s so frustrating and I’m sorry you’re going through that. You don’t deserve that.

I wish you the best of luck anon, and I hope as assistive technology grows, you’re able to find things that work better for you to make the world easier to navigate. Wishing you love and good luck wishes.

Have a lovely day anon.

[imashoe69420]

Hey! Can I request a rise!Donnie or rise!Raph x fem!reader with a reader who is usually very loud and optimistic but has gotten depressed recently due to a boarder-line traumatizing ex attempting to make contact with them at their workplace?

Omg so specific lol and scary

I will try my best! :)

====================

All In Your Head

Rise!Donnie X Fem!Reader

Prompt: Your ex shows up to your job, putting you on edge for the rest of the night.

Pronouns: Feminine (she/her)

Relationship: Dating (not official)

Timeline: Post!Movie

Warnings ⚠️: Angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of mental illness

===================================

You were never good at dating. In fact, you only had one boyfriend in your life, and that only lasted for a few months. But, god, was it one of the worst experiences of your life.

During your time together, your ex-partner was a complete control freak. They never put a hand on you, but the mental manipulation and serial cheating they put you through almost pushed you to the edge.

Often, they made you feel crazy like you couldn’t trust your own self. Your ex had no ability to take responsibility for their actions, so everything was your fault. Obviously you hid their keys when they were in a rush. You obviously wanted to break up when you were hanging out with your friends; you were excluding them.

They would constantly have you thinking you’re the worst girlfriend ever as if you did all those things your ex accused you of.

Eventually, they confessed to you that they were no longer in love with you. They had found someone else and wanted to be with them, not you.

The breakup caused you to slip into a month long depression. You didn’t go out with your friends anymore. You didn’t talk to your parents or siblings. All you did was lie in your bed watching overrated TLC shows.

Gradually, you became your normal boisterous self. Your worried loved ones finally felt some relief as you started hanging out with them regularly, talking, laughing, and extroverted as usual.

You’d also met someone else. Donnie.

Unlike your ex, Donnie cared about you. He always wanted you to be safe, especially since him and his brothers had several enemies and you weren’t equipped to fight any of them off. Sure he could come off as a bit aloof, but you knew he never had the intention to hurt your feelings. He just had trouble understanding certain emotions.

That was better than anything your ex put you through.

•••

You tap away at your phone, texting Donnie that you’d be at your apartment soon. Your boss had basically forced you to take the night shift at the dumpling restaurant even though you had school in the morning. Whatever. Fuck it. You’re graduating soon anyways.

The scientist soon FaceTimed you, which he often did and demanded for you to stay on it until you locked the doors.

“You’re lucky my manager doesn’t care if we’re on our phones or not.” You giggled as soon as Donnie’s face popped up on the screen.

The purple clad turtle shrugged lazily, leaning back in the rolling chair he was sat in. “They’ll have to deal with it either way. Making sure you get home safe is a priority for me.”

Your heart nearly leaped out of your throat when he’d said that so nonchalantly. “Aw, my knight in shining armor.”

“Hardly.” Donnie spoke firmly with a deadpan expression. “I like to think of myself as the literary Bad Boy archetype: a social outcast going against the grain in the name of science.”

With a shrug, you placed the phone on the counter, propping the device up on your bag. “Eh, I’d say you’re more of The Outlaw.”

His drawn-on eyebrows furrowed. “You think I’m ‘potentially criminal’?”

“You remember talking to me about that weird crystal you stole from Draxum?” You smirked at him as you picked the phone back up and ambled over to the front doors to lock them.

Donnie hummed to himself before raising an eyebrow. “Touché.”

After locking the doors, you turned around to gather your belongings. You angle the phone up, facing you at eye level.

“Okay, I’m almost done. Just gotta…” your words trail off as Donnie had leaned closer towards the screen, a concerned yet curious expression adorning his features. “What…?”

“Who’s that behind you? At the door.”

A cold sweat soon overtook your body. Donnie would never mess around with you like that.

Instead of turning around, you gazed at your reflection in the phone. What you saw made you drop the device and press your hands against your lips.

It was your ex.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), what happened? (Y/N)!” Donnie’s voice was laced with worry.

Without replying to him, you scooped your phone off the floor and ran into the back where your manager, Collin, was counting drawer.

When he saw you shivering with your back pressed against the door, he instantly stood up. “(Y/N), what happened? Are you all right?”

“I-I—” you stuttered heavily. ���Someone’s… someone’s at the door…”

Collin cocked an eyebrow as he gently pushed you aside and opened the door. He’s silent for a few seconds before shutting the door, shrugging while doing so. “I don’t see anybody. Do you want me to walk you home anyways?”

You immediately nodded, grabbing your stuff as you waited for Collin to finish counting drawer.

• • •

At your apartment, you remain on FaceTime with Donnie. He had been interrogating you for like fifteen minutes: “who was that?”, “why did Collin have to walk you back?”, “Was it a supervillain?”. On and on.

“Donnie, please just relax.” Your voice shook slightly. “It wasn’t anybody you know.”

Right after that statement, there’s a loud pounding at your bedroom window. You dart your eyes over to it, but your fears are instantly nullified.

You sighed deeply as you slid the glass open to allowed the purple clad turtle to enter your room. “God, you scared the shit outta me.”

He shut the window behind him before surveying your empty Red Bull can littered room, the fixing his gaze onto you. “What did you mean by ‘it’s not anybody I know’?”

You felt your stomach drop as he reminded you of work’s events. “Donnie, I duwanna talk about it right now. Just know that that person is awful.”

The turtle’s eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t normally talk like this. If anything, you would say some sort of quip or reference to American Literature. Something his younger twin would say. But now you just seemed shaky and afraid of something he didn’t understand. And that bothered him. But nonetheless, he didn’t like seeing you upset.

Donnie exhaled. “Okay, fine.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence—both you and Donnie tapping away on your phones—for several minutes before you made a proposition.

“Can you… do you think you could maybe… stay over?” I’d been a few months since he stayed over the whole night. Often, the scientist would say that he had projects to work on or a mission to go on or something like that.

He shrugged lazily with a slight smile on his face. “I suppose so if that’ll make you feel better.”

Your sigh of relief causes Donnie to question your behavior. “It’s just… you usually have something to do instead.”

The purple clad turtle hummed to himself. “Well, I can tell you’re afraid of that person at your job, and now you’re afraid to be by yourself. And I think you’re a little more important to me than a project that isn’t even half way off the ground.”

You weren’t sure if Donnie fully understood how much that meant to you: to put off a project just because your ex decided to show up to your job out of nowhere and fuck up your entire night. All you knew is that he was definitely 10x better than your ex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: this fanfic is kinda bad but I’ve been sick for like 3 days so that’s why I haven’t been posting 😭 but I’ll try my best to get all the requests out.

[dreamties]

there's nothing really wrong with me; i'm just choking almost constantly || Polyam! Ghostface x GN! Reader

title from Twinkle Lights by The Sonder Bombs

Reader is dealing with the aftermath of their sexual assault, to which they still haven't told Billy and Stu that it was even a thing that happened. After a particularly rough night, the boys comfort them.

1st person POV

TRIGGER WARNINGS: there is reference to past SA, but it's not too graphic. the reader talks about it and there's like, references about it through out the text- and I know it can be really traumatic for some to read it so PLEASE be careful and read at your own risk. panic attacks, nightmares, i believe that's it !! let me know if I need to add more warnings!!

I blink awake, filled with an erratic, heart-pounding panic. It takes a moment to realize where I am- home, in my bed, by myself. I'm not at the trailer and I can't feel his breath down my neck anymore. 

I let out a shaky breath and sit up slowly, trying not to shock my body anymore.

My body feels unstable and wrong as I walk through the house. My mind and body caught in a fuzzy sort of dream state. 

I dial Stu's phone number, because I know he'll ask less questions than Billy- and that's what I needed right now. Just a distraction.

I school my voice to properly fake that sort of "I'm fine, nothing bad has ever happened to me" tone.

I clear my throat. "Stuey? I know it's a little late, but-"

"Nah, it's okay, baby. Whaddya need?"

I laugh- of course Stu sounds so chipper, he was likely up looking at Play Boys or watching total torture porn (aka a load of trash). 

"Could you pick me up? It'd be nice to stay at your place tonight." 

I can practically hear him grin on the other line. "Ab-so-LUTE-ly!"

I kind of half-giggle and thank him. I pull on an extra-long hoodie and grab the handmade Michael Myers plush my friend gave me off my bed. I wait out on the front porch for him to arrive. 

I settle into Stu's bed, and he hurriedly puts his magazines and other items under his bed, careless to the minor scrumpling to his merchandise. 

“Hey baby,” he kisses the top of my head and I try not to shrink away too much when he does so. I know it’s Stu, I know I’m safe- I can still feel his touch around my body, his hands at my throat, though. It’s so hard not to think he’s there with me, in bed next to Stu and I.

I smile at him and let him turn his lamp off even if the darkness and the looming shadows in his room are wholly disorienting.

I can feel a light tickle against the shell of my ear, like someone is whispering, “I won't be able to stop myself.” I shake him off of me and turn to my other side.

Just leave me alone, please.

I probably toss in my sleep the whole night, but Stu doesn’t seem bothered when we wake in the morning. My eyes are bleary and blinking back tears, hoping he doesn’t see. 

I should know better than to think Stu could keep any secret from Billy. I'm still surprised, however, that Billy jostles into the Macher's kitchen at 9am, already with a prickled attitude.

I drop the spoon into my bowl of cereal, milk splashing up and over onto the counter. I try to school my expression into something more neutral, so my surprise doesn’t hurt him. 

“Billy,” I greet. 

He replies back with my name, which I can only half-hear through the fuzzy, distant feeling in my body. 

Billy sits on a stool next to me, moving my bowl a little further from my reach. “Why were you up so late?”

I half-laugh, still tired, still groggy. “What, I’m not allowed to stay up?” I tease. And the hurt sick feeling settles in my throat. 

Billy shakes his head and sighs- he’s clearly frustrated. 

Stupid. Stop teasing him, he’s- I physically shake the thought off. Trying desperately to repel the negative energy like water to oil. Get it together.

“C’mon,” Billy tries again. He seems abnormally pissy, and I wonder what Stu told him on the phone. It’s no way that either of them could have figured it out, but the lump in my throat still grows at the possibility. 

“Just- missed Stu. That’s all.”

“You brought along your plushy,” he says, like that’s supposed to prove anything. “And that big hoodie of yours that you only wear when you’re sad.”

“Did Stu tell you that?” I try not to sound too antsy or annoyed. I know they’re only worried. Of course they’re worried- of course they know my tells like the back of their hands. I should have just stayed home, even if that meant waking up with the feeling of him pressed against my body. 

He nods. “You always tell us what’s wrong,” and he whispers my name in that hard-soft tone he gets when he’s anxious. I shiver.

“Nothing’s. . . nothing’s wrong.” I try and I know it’s bullshit. It’s a dumb attempt and Billy sees right through it. “Nothing that you can fix.” 

And I know Billy takes it as a personal attack- that I think he can’t take care of me. That his comfort isn’t enough, that he isn’t enough. I don’t know how to tell him that’s not what I meant, though, without telling him what happened. It feels hard to breathe, I take a shaky, sharp breath in. It doesn’t help. 

I don’t even know what’s going on, my eyes teary and blurred. My ears are ringing out. My body feels so fuzzy and too soft at the edges. My thoughts muddle in my brain and I don’t know if I'm breathing or talking or breathing or- I gasp out. 

Stu’s hands hold my shoulders tightly, trying to ground me. He’s done it a hundred times before, and it works nearly every time. 

My breath is labored, heavy and quick. Too quick. I still can’t feel myself breathing.

Billy and Stu both try to reassure me- I think. Their voices still unclear through the fog. 

“‘M sorry, ‘m sorry, sorry, sorry,” I repeat, till the word feels unsafe and garbled through my lips. “Shouldn't have to- shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have to. Have to- have to worry.”

My voice sounds so far away, like I’m speaking into a dying microphone, to the clashing, screaming crowd before me. Feeling so unheard, so unseen, even at center stage. 

The fog fades around Billy’s voice. “Hey, hey, it’s fine. Just- stop apologizing,” my name is slow on his tongue. “Can you hear me? C’mon, baby, you’re worrying Stu.” 

And I should respond. But everything just feels so- off. I’m not even sure what I’d say. I don’t want to explain myself. 

When the fog finally finally cuts through, I can breathe again. I’m sitting on the tiled floor of the Macher kitchen, with my knees pulled up against my chest. Billy and Stu sit on either side of me, their hands tentatively retracted from my body. 

I can finally breathe in the clearing. I could cry, if feeling my feelings didn’t hurt so much. If everything didn’t hurt. 

My breath takes a while to steady, and when it does, Billy takes this as a sign to pounce on me again. 

“What happened, baby?” And he sounds so . . . concerned. It hurts to know I’m hurting him. My body aches with every pound of my heart against my chest. 

“I think I had a panic attack,” I managed. 

Stu lets out an awkward laugh, and I don’t freak out this time when he touches my shoulder. “No shit!” 

He murmurs an apology and repeats himself, quieter now. It was sweet. Stu was so sweet and I can’t get over myself to just- live and not cause all this . . . all this angst and trial and tribulations between us. Billy would remind me- if I vocalized this ache - in my own words, that having tough emotions aren’t a burden. It feels like it is though. 

“I’m sorry,” I try and Billy shushes me. He seems annoyed still, I know it’s just the look he has when he’s scared, though.

Fuck, he’s scared. Get yourself together.

I swallow down the lump in my throat.

“Okay, fine. I can’t apologize, I get it.” I realize now that my voice croaks out, like I'd been crying. 

My eyes still feel hazy around the edges and they still struggle to focus on anything properly. 

“What can I say then?” I teasingly ask, and I feel sick to my stomach. 

Please don’t ask me why. Please don’t ask why. Please don’t ask why. Please.

“What’s up with you?” Billy asks. I’m not sure if that’s any better of a question though. 

“I- I can’t tell you.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

Stu sighs, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. His fingers tense when he speaks. “Please? We won’t- Stu glances at Billy and then back at myself- I won’t ask any other questions, I promise.” 

I give a humorless laugh in response. “Real assuring.”

“C’mon, I can’t control what Billy does,” he whines.

And there it is again. The lump in my throat. His breath tickling against my face. “I just can’t control myself around you.”

The attempts to shake off his incessant greed seem to only be in vain.

“Just- just get off of me, please,” I have to wrench the words out of my throat. “Please, ‘m sorry for- I’m sorry- just. Let go.”

Stu quickly winds his hand from my shoulder and puts his hands up, in defense. He looks at me all confused, his eyes wide and his brows furrowed. 

He lowers his hands and gives me those stupid, big blue puppy eyes.  “What’s wrong?” And he says it so gently. His voice felt warm and comforting.

“Just- I. Give me a moment.” 

“Okay,” both boys reply. 

“I- I think I was sexually assaulted.” My voice comes out in a tight whisper, lodged somewhere between my throat and the tension of the kitchen conversation. “I thought- I thought it was my fault or maybe it didn’t- it didn’t happen. Or- or maybe I misremembered it but-”

My voice gets caught and I let out a measly sob. 

“Woah,” Billy carefully reaches a hand out towards me, but doesn’t touch me. “Woah, woah. Baby,” he whispers. “What- who did this to you?”

I sniffle. I didn’t want to tell them.

It felt so much more real speaking it aloud. 

His voice feels dirty against my body, and I just want to get away from him. But he’s in the walls, he’s in my dreams. And I can’t escape. He’s sitting with me as my boyfriend’s try to comfort me. 

“I know better than that. I should have known better than that and-” my throat feels all funny, like I can’t breathe again. A sharp intake in, a shaky breath out. “And I still let him put his grubby hands all over me.”

“Woah, baby,” Billy’s voice is impossibly quiet and calm. He appears more apologetic and concerned with how I am, than the dark, revengefulness that usually seeps out of him when someone hurts me. “Baby, look at me, okay?”

I keep my head snuggled at the top of my knees, straining my eyes to look in his direction. I hum, not trusting myself to speak without crying. 

“It’s not- it’s not your fault. Whatever happened, it’s-”

My mouth seems to be on its own agenda. And my head feels impossibly fuzzy again. Everything is so . . . so disconnected. I tap my fingers against my shins, and they don’t feel like they’re really there at all. No matter how many times I tap them in the same familiar pattern. 

Nothing feels right. 

“I shouldn't have been such a tease. I- he told me to stop, said he wouldn’t be able to control himself if- and, and I didn’t listen, Billy. Was so confused, didn’t know where I was, Stuey and- and he- I told him that. But I should’ve listened. He w-warned me and I should have- I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shh,” Billy tries once more. “It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, baby. Whatever- whoever it was, who convinced you . . . it doesn’t matter, okay? He doesn’t- you didn’t make him do anything. You-” even Billy struggles with it. 

He sighs, “what do you need from us? Just right now- what do you need at this moment, okay?”

Stu tries, as well. Learning from his previous mistake. 

“Is it okay to hug you or touch your shoulder right now?”

I shake my head. His hands at my throat, his voice tickled against my face. 

His hands at my throat, telling me to behave. 

Taking my “i’m fine”s and “okay”s out of context, blatant ignorance of my confusion.

“Could we just- could we sit on the couch maybe?”

It felt better, safer, in the openness of the living room. 

Like I wasn't going to suffocate and, like, explode or something. 

Stu's hanging his limbs off one end of the couch, and Billy tentatively perches on a couch arm. I assume Billy is sitting strangely to give me space- Stu's position is natural though. He always sits weird, and does things weird, which I love. I love him. I love Billy, and I'm just. I'm hurting them- I'm sitting in the middle of the couch, shaky and strange, and hurting them.

“What can we do?” Billy sounds gentle. He sounds sincere. I think . . . he is. The whole situation is strange and terrifying. I want to go back to sleep and hope when I wake that the past few months were some fever dream instead. 

I let out a shaky, heaving sigh. 

“I don’t- I don’t know.”

“That’s- that's okay. Baby,” his voice is sturdy, despite the uncertainty bleeding in.

“Yeah!” Stu smiles at me, and it feels sort of warm. It feels almost good. 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with someone so damaged.” I stare at my feet and my hands fidgeting absently in my lap. Tears pricking, stinging at my eyes.

I stumble over and retract apologies in my head. Trying to justify what he had done to me, to pin what he said, to pin his hands around my neck and push me down, as my own fault. As my own actions. 

I can’t tell Billy that. Not to him, not to Stu.

Billy has this restrained look in his eyes, and his face is twisted into an almost scowl. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I know I shouldn’t have said that. Because Billy thinks he’s broken, all the time.

He’s told me or alluded to his mom’s disappearance, to his asshole father. About the disconnect between himself and his own thoughts, his hands and his actions. He’s told us why he’s only ever felt safe and trusting in the arms of his lovers. 

And that he’s so afraid that one day, we’ll up and leave him, too. 

That he’s too damaged, too broken, to be loved. 

And I go and fuck it up again. I only know how to hurt.

“That’s, wait- that’s not. I’m sorry, Billy. I-”

And his voice is uncharacteristically sweet. It’s calm and low, and I can’t hear held back anger.

“It’s okay.”

“What?” My voice is small and squeaks out, unsure. 

“It’s okay. Baby," Billy says my name with my name with care. “You’re not- you will never be too fucked up to be loved by us.”

Stu smiles, protective. “I- we will never let that happen to you again.”

They offer physical comforts, they lean closer but not close enough to touch me. 

Maybe I shouldn’t be so trusting. He had promised to never hurt me and I followed him blindly. But Billy & Stu aren’t him. And I should be allowed to put my faith into others, without fearing I'll be hurt again.

I lean into Billy's touch, allowing him to encase me in his strong arms. Stu leans against us, bringing his long, sweater-clad arms around the huddled mess of us. 

Maybe it's against my better judgements.

Maybe it's a mistake.

But maybe, too, this is safety. This is love.