#i feel like i never finish things sometimes

[shanastoryteller]

Congrats on finishing See Something Say Something!! I checked the notification of the first AO3 email sent out and you initially planned on five chapters.

Would you say that the ending changed considerably since you started in October? Or has that stayed the same?

thank you!

it stayed the same lol. while my fics getting wildly out of control and becoming way longer than i anticipated is pretty common, i'm pretty much never changing overarching plot when this happens. the story that i become interested in telling is typically the story then i end up telling

almost every story can be made shorter or longer. it's less about what happens and more about how that information is conveyed. things that really tend to affect writing length are perspective and breathing room

the shortest fic i have on ao3 that's not part of a series is You Were (Not) Meant For Me (posted 11 years ago, jesus T_T). the premise is that claudia was a witch who intended trained stiles to be a witch and she arranged his marriage to laura hale, the future hale alpha. this is a traditional pairing as talia's husband was also a witch married to talia in service of the pact. except claudia died before she could train stiles or tell him about the engagement. stiles starts learning magic after scott is turned. derek falls for stiles and feels like he's betraying his sister by loving him, betraying stiles by not being the alpha he deserves and not telling him about the arrangement claudia made, and hates himself the entire time, but not enough to stop himself

that's a 100k fic easy

it's 1,696 words

it's extremely limited perspective (derek's) and it's made up only of limited snapshots of moments with very little context. there's no seeing what's happening, only told, which i think would quickly grow boring if it was longer and if the real point of the story wasn't derek's self hatred and how he fails to deal with it. that's the part of the story that isn't told, really - derek does think explicitly that he hates himself, but we're also seeing it in the way he talks and thinks about himself and the people around him

by contrast we have survival is a talent, which is obviously my longest fic. we're over 500k and we've got quite a bit to go

perspective doesn't just refer to character pov, but audience pov - are you being told a story, or are you experiencing the story? this is also tied into breathing room. there's no wrong way, i've done both and will do both, but one certainly requires more words than the other in my experience

siat is told only through draco and harry's perspective, but it's all happening in real time. the audience is being taken along for this story. the thing is that that things in real life don't all come tumbling one after another, not all questions have immediate answers. when depicting character growth and a plot unfurling, i think it's really important to include breathing room to give the audience time to feel that growth and change. i'm stricter about this with siat than anything else i've written, probably sometimes to its detriment. i want you and the characters to have time to feel the effects of emotional revelations and plot hints. i want you to have the time to question and wonder about things the same way the characters do

one time a friend criticized the good place for including the portion where they were alive again on earth because it wasn't as interesting as being in hell, but i disagree. we needed that breathing room both to live with the effects of character growth of going through hell and to have time for the effects of their actions on the plot to settle before they moved forward again. i stopped watching agents of shield because we weren't given enough breathing room - there was never a chance to see the characters not in crisis, the world was always ending, ect. the alchemyst book series has the first like 3 books taking place over a day and a half. i got tired of it after that. there's no breathing room

a story where i gave up on the concept of breathing room was build your wings on the way down. i liked that fic, but i wanted it finished, and to do it with i think optimal pacing would have made it twice as long as it was. so i said screw it, avalanche time, everything is happening all at once right now. there's very little breathing room there, which i think doesn't work too terribly in part because everything is so urgent and everyone is stressed so not being able to catch you breath sort of fits

See Something Say Something did not need to be 215k, although i'm not at all complaining. i feel very happy with how i told this story. but the basic premise - sam getting his powers early, getting involved in the large hunter world secretly from his family, and dean feeling misplaced and worried about how much sam needs/wants him - could have been told a hundred different ways and all would have pulled it off, so to speak

i considered doing the the entire fic from dean's pov (as a sam girl i love his pov because all he thinks about is sam and he's so insane about it) which would have effectively cut out basically the first five chapters. i thought exploring the slow realization of what's going on purely from dean's pov, with the audience having not insight would have been really interesting, just like what I did in dumb luck or good ghost with dean slowly figuring out that sam didn't die in the crash. another thing is the inclusion of all the side characters which i did to make the world feel rich and real, but we didn't need all these outsider povs to get the basic point across. very rarely is something vital being conveyed by an outsider pov, but it reinforced and adds to the main characters. i also initially didn't have wincest, which obviously added a ton of words. i loved exploring dean's self hatred and fear and sam's obliviousness, but bringing them to a place of ignorance to acceptance to happiness is a lot longer of a journey than just dealing with dean's propriety love as an unhinged co-dependent older brother. again, i'm sticking by all these choices, i made them because i thought it was the best way to the tell the story i was most interesting in telling, but my point is that you didn't need them to tell this particular story

it was also how i told the story. we spend a lot of time wallowing in character's emotions, especially dean's and sam's, but the others as well. part of this fic is convincing you that these two brothers should fuck, actually, and doing that effectively is going to take some time, especially at this point in their lives when things are pretty normal. comparatively, fucking your brother after starting the apocalypse is pretty small potatoes. i wanted you to understand these people, to feel what they were feeling, to not feel that it was inconceivable that jess would be willing to share her boyfriend with his brother, to buy all their relationships with each other in a way that isn't purely based on convenience

part of the reason i wrote dumb luck or good ghost before see something say something was that i felt i needed a firmer grasp on who the characters are before getting into who they were and who they could be - especially john, who i feel is exceptionally difficult to write without over excusing his actions or over villainizing them. the reason john doesn't get a single pov in see something say something is that while he's a motivating and underlying factor in much of the story, the story isn't about him. it's about the effect he has on those around him, and i didn't want to sully the pureness of that effect by introducing his internal dialogue, regardless of how persecutionary or absolving it would be. it's just not about him. it's how he responds to others and how they respond to him in turn

anyway! this is another example of something ending up longer than expected, but yeah. the plot of see something say something didn't change much from posting of the first chapter and my stories rarely do - i have plot points in siat that have been there since i posted the first chapter that are still relevant and happening. "harry and draco just. cut dumbledore's fucking hand off" my beloved

[harrywavycurly]

Worth the Fight: Bad Energy

Masterlist: Here

CW: language, mentions of baby stuff, pregnancy symptoms and one moment where Ethan is mean (not to you lol)

A/N: I feel like y’all are working your way to a good place and maybe y’all can be friends soon if nothing happens that could potentially get in the way?👀✨

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy @hisparentsgallerryy @jerseygirlinca @behindmygreyeyes @mads3502 @tpwkdpr @unfuckwitablenarry @itscoucouharry @latedirectionerera @ell0ra-br3kk3r

Summary: You and Harry have sort of an odd routine going and the two of you begin discussing baby names and rocking chairs✨

“Morning.” Harry softly greets you when you open your apartment door, you give him a small smile as you move out of his way so he can enter your apartment allowing him to head straight for your kitchen. You let a yawn escape you as turn so you can follow him after closing the door but Harry pauses right before he enters the archway of your kitchen and turns his head to look at you over his shoulder. “Don’t forget to-”

“Lock the door.” You finish for him with a tired sigh making Harry have to bite his bottom lip to keep the soft chuckle to himself. He enters the kitchen while you turn and quickly lock the door so you can join him and take your usual spot at your little table while he busies himself with cutting fruit and the random veggies.

It’s been almost two and a half weeks since Harry came over to your house far too early in the morning just to make you some green juice and since then he’s been coming over every other morning. The only difference is he now changes what he puts in the juice depending on how you’re feeling about certain fruits or vegetables and he also secretly adds a bit of protein powder because he knows you’re in more of a snacking stage and the odds of you sitting to eat a whole meal are slim. Most of the time the two of you engage in some simple small talk while you sit at the table and watch him cut things up, not getting too deep about anything minus Harry asking questions such as how you slept and if you’re feeling okay or if your ankles are still swollen.

“Do you want pine-”

“Oh please don’t even mention that evil fruit.” You say with a groan making Harry just nod as he puts the pineapple back in your fridge and grabs a mango instead. “I don’t understand why something that tastes so good has to hate me so much.” You pout as you place your chin in the palm of your hand while your other one rests on your bump as you lean over your small kitchen table.

“I’m guessing it’s still causing you some reflux issues then?” He asks as he looks around your fridge for the bag of spinach he just brought over the other day.

“Yes but sometimes I think it’s worth it but not today.” You explain with a yawn making Harry take a half step back from the fridge so he can turn his head and look at you with a raised brow. Normally you’re a bit sleepy when he comes over for your morning juice before you head off to work or he has to go run an errand or attend a meeting but he’s never seen you this tired before and it makes him a little concerned about how well you slept last night.

“How did sleep last night?” He questions as he hears you let out a small sigh as you close your eyes and give him a shrug.

“I don’t know if I actually got any sleep last night so I guess that would mean I slept horribly? No that sounds a bit dramatic. I’d just say I slept not very well.” Your mumbled rant like explanation makes Harry chuckle as he shakes his head and closes the doors to your fridge, he places the fruits and veggies for you juice on the counter near the cutting board and then turns so he’s fully facing you.

“Well come on then.” You slowly open your eyes just as Harry takes a few steps towards you with his hand out. “You can drink your juice in bed and take a nap afterwards or something. But you need rest. It’s important.” He tries to not sound bossy or rude because he knows the two of you are in a weird place right now and he doesn’t want to do or say anything that would make you upset enough to kick him back out to just being allowed in your hallway.

“You’re just trying to get me out of the room so you can put weird stuff in my juice.” You accuse him with a playful glare as you sit up and take his hand so he can help you get up from the chair.

“You caught me.” He jokes as he wraps his hand around your smaller one before taking a step back so you have room to stand in front of him. “I’m just trying to load your juice up with things you hate.” He adds as you let go of his hand and head out of the kitchen, he stands there for a moment not sure if you want him to follow you or not since really the only rooms he’s ever been inside of in your apartment are the living room and kitchen.

“Can you grab my water for me please? I left it on the counter.” You call over your shoulder as you make your way to your bedroom. Harry doesn’t hesitate as he turns and grabs your green and pink water bottle off the counter and walks out of the kitchen into the living room.

He catches a glimpse of you just before you enter your bedroom at the end of the hallway and for some reason he feels nervous as he stands there with your water bottle in his hand. For a moment he worries that you’re only being this relaxed about him entering your bedroom because you’re exhausted and don’t really know what you’re doing or saying. But then again he knows you well enough by now to know you are usually always the one who tries to be polite and civil out of the two of you, it’s usually him that messes it up with his unkind words or actions. So he just shakes off his nerves and heads down the hallway to leads to your bedroom, he can’t help but pause at the door on his right that he knows is your spare bedroom because you told him one morning how you’re happy you splurged for the two bedroom unit when you moved in so the twins won’t have to share a room with you.

When you get to your bed you look over your shoulder and when you don’t see or hear Harry you quirk a brow as you turn and take a few steps towards your bedroom door. You poke your head out and you can’t help but smile when you see him standing in front of the twin’s room, you take a few more steps so your about halfway between where he’s standing and your bedroom.

“You can look inside if you want.” Your voice being so close to him makes him jump a bit causing the ice in your water to clink against the metal sides of your bottle.

“Oh uhm I don’t-”

“You don’t what? Want to see where your children will be sleeping and playing while they’re with me? That’s rude.”

“Well when you put it like that then okay yeah I’ll take a look.” You chuckle as you reach for your water bottle so you can take it from him, Harry chews on his bottom lip as he turns to look at you and when you just give him a reassuring nod as you take a sip of your water he places a hand on the doorknob and twists it open.

Harry feels his heart beat faster as he takes a step inside the room, he obviously knows that you’re carrying twins meaning two babies but seeing two cribs set up really seems to make it feel all the more real for him. He steps further inside the room and places a hand on one of the cribs as he looks around the room. The walls are a soft white and to no surprise you’ve hung up a little bookshelf in the corner that has a few books already on it, the cribs are also white and when he looks down he sees you picked out matching sheets for them that have little story book animals on them such as Pooh Bear and Petter Rabbit.

“It’s not done yet but sometimes when I can’t sleep or I’m restless I come in here and-”

“Did you put these together yourself?” He asks as you walk over to the dresser on the opposite side of the wall the cribs are on.

“I did yeah.” You answer as you turn and look at him, his eyes are a little wide and you know he wants to say something about how that couldn’t have been good for your back or your ankles. “It wasn’t very hard and it didn’t take long.” You explain as you place a hand over your very obvious baby bump, giving it a soothing rub as you walk over to the bookshelf.

“I haven’t uh-I haven’t gotten cribs or really anything yet.” He informs you as he runs his hand that’s not gripping the side of the crib through his hair as all of a sudden a feeling of being unprepared and overwhelmed with things he needs to get begins to hit him like a tidal wave.

“That’s fine Harry these were just on sale so I grabbed them. You have plenty of time to-”

“What if they come early and I don’t have anything still? Or what if they hate the cribs I pick and never want to sleep in them or-” A soft hand landing on top of his that’s gripping the crib makes him stop his rambling. He blinks a few times as he tries to calm his breathing down before he looks over at you and sees you giving him a small yet comforting smile.

“They’ll like whatever you pick Harry because you’re their dad and they’ll know you picked it just for them. Now I’m sure there’s going to be days and nights they don’t want to sleep but it won’t have anything to do with the cribs you get them.” You do your best to reassure him and ease him away from the edge of the small anxiety attack you know he is mere moments away from having.

“Would you uhm maybe want to help pick some things out for them?” He knows he could ask his mom or sister to help him but honestly for some reason he feels like picking the furniture for his nursery would be a good experience for the two of you to have.

“Sure oh actually your mom invited me shopping tomorrow she wants me to help her pick some crib sheets so would you want to just join us for that and we can look at cribs and stuff as well?” You feel a tinge of nervousness as you tell him about the plans you made with his mom, not sure if he is aware that she reaches out to you to see how you’re doing and even comes over for the occasional cup of tea.

“She told me about the two of you having plans tomorrow.” You let out a sigh of relief as you move your hand off of his and place it back on your bump. “Are you sure you would be okay with me joining you? I don’t want to get in the way.”

“She’s your mom Harry so of course I don’t mind you joining us.” Harry watches you closely as you speak so see if he can find any hints that you’re lying just to save yourself from hurting his feelings. But when you just stare at him for a few moments before taking another sip of your water he knows you’re being honest, you really don’t care if he comes with the two of you tomorrow and oddly enough he doesn’t know how to feel about the fact he’s going to be shopping for his twins with their mother and his mother.

“Okay I’ll uhm call her later to set up the details.” You just nod as you turn and head for the door while Harry still stands with a hand on the crib closest to it. “I’ll uhm go-go get started on your juice.” He fumbles over his words as he finally releases his grip on the wooden frame of the crib and turns around so he can see you standing in the doorway with your back towards him.

“Okay but don’t try to sneak any carrots into it this time or I’ll probably start crying.” You warn as you take a step into the hallway.

“Carrots are good for-”

“I don’t care what they are good for Harry they ruin the juice and make it a disgusting color.”

“The juice is already a gross color? It’s green.”

“Says the man with big dumb green eyes and green shorts on?” To that Harry decides to ignore your comments about his eyes and takes a moment to look down at his outfit, having forgotten he came here from the gym so he is in fact wearing green athletic shorts and a gray tank top with his neon colored running shoes.

“Just go lay down and I’ll bring you your carrot free juice okay?” You give him a smug smile as he stands at the end of your hallway near the living room with a hand on his hip while you stand in your bedroom doorway with your water bottle in one hand and the other also on your hip.

“Okay.” Harry rolls his eyes at how happy you sound all because he agreed to not add any carrots to your juice, he watches as you turn and enter your bedroom and waits a few moments till he hears the sound of your water bottle being placed on your nightstand before he turns to go to the kitchen.

“Oh and Paris is in the living room!” You shout as you fold your covers back so you can climb into bed, wanting to give Harry a heads up on the orange cat’s whereabouts since he still doesn’t seem to like Harry therefor thinking it’s okay to still use his ankles as little chew toys.

As if on queue Harry hears the all too familiar sound of a bell jingling from behind him just as he begins to cut up the mango that he decide would be a good substitute for the pineapple in your juice. He freezes the moment he feels the soft hair and slightly pointy whiskers rub against the back of his calf, Paris’s go too move before he sinks his teeth into the flesh right above Harry’s ankle bone. Harry takes a deep breath in preparation for the pain he knows he’s about to endure and sure enough maybe two seconds later he feels Paris bite down on his ankle as he starts to purr while Harry releases his breath and lets out a groan.

“Fuck sake Paris how long are we gonna be doing this mate? I’ve been here how many times now and you still don’t like me? I’m making your mom homemade green juice for Christ sake what else do you want from me?” Harry rambles on as he looks down at the orange cat who is just sitting there staring at him all innocently as if he didn’t just make a meal out of his poor ankle.

“One day you’re going to like me. I just know it.” Paris tilts his head to the side and looks up at Harry for a brief moment before he decides he’s done in the kitchen and walks off leaving Harry standing there with a half cut up mango in one hand and a knife in the other.

Harry isn’t sure if he’s dreaming or not, because surely there’s no way you actually said what he just heard come out of your mouth.

“I’m serious.” Your simple statement answers his question as you cross your arms over your chest and stare at him with a very stern look in your eyes that he’s never seen before, granted he hasn’t been around you for very long but still he’s never seen you look so serious.

“It’s a rocking chair how can it be haunted?” He wonders as he looks at the wooden chair in question that’s currently sitting in between the two of you.

The two of you are in the middle of a antique shop looking for some things to go on the wall in your nursery and also to see if they have any baby furniture that could potentially go in the nursery at Harry’s house. While it upset you a bit it’s no surprise to Harry that his mom suddenly “wasn’t feeling well” as soon as she found out you had invited Harry to tag along on today’s shopping trip, he knows very well she’s fine at home on her couch watching her shows and researching things for her garden. And while normally Harry would be annoyed at her subtle ways of trying to interfere in his personal life he’s thankful his mom isn’t here to witness him look absolutely lost on why the mother of his children thinks used rocking chairs can be haunted and refuses to buy one.

“Not haunted but it could hold bad energy from the last person who used it.” You explain for the second time as you scrunch your nose up while looking at the chair. “What if the last person who sat in that chair was a weirdo? Or was a serial killer?” Harry rolls his eyes at your ridiculous reasoning for why the chair could have bad energy.

“Oh come on what are the odds Ted Bundy used to rock his kids to sleep in this rocking chair.” Harry playfully argues as he points to the chair while you drop your hands from your chest so you can reach over and smack Harry’s arm with an annoyed huff making him glare at you.

“Why would you say that? Now we really aren’t getting it you asshole.” You snap as you give his arm one more smack before turning around and heading further down the aisle of old vintage looking furniture. Harry lets out a sigh as he runs a hand over his face because it’s only been half an hour since the two of you started this shopping trip and at this rate he’s not sure if the two of you will still be on the decently good terms you’ve been on the past few weeks by the time it’s over.

“Are you really mad? I know you’re more emotional than normal right now but it’s just a rocking chair and it doesn’t have to go in your house it can go in mine.” He tries to reason with you as he follows behind you down the aisle, he hears you let out a scoff at he mention of you being emotional and he instantly knows that wasn’t the correct thing to say.

“It’s not just a rocking chair Harry.” You quickly turn around to face him making him take a step back so he’s out of reach making you unable to smack him just incase you get the itch to do so again. “It’s where you put your babies to sleep while singing a lullaby and where you soothe them when they are upset and-and where you sit and read to them before bed and I just don’t want one that someone has already had all those special moments in. Even if it’s not going in my house I know my babies will still be sitting in it with you and I just-”

“Okay okay we can get you a brand new chair that no one has ever sat in just-just stop crying.” Harry’s words are rushed as he takes a small step towards you so he can place his hands on your shoulders, you didn’t even realize you were crying until you finally feel a few tears roll down your cheeks. You sniffle a few times as Harry bends his knees so he can be eye level with you. “I promise you will get whatever rocking chair you want. Just please stop crying.” He’s practically begging you at this point and giving your shoulders some gentle squeezes as you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your cardigan

“Oh sorry am I embarrassing you?” Your voice is a mixture of harsh and watery making Harry let out a sigh as he stands up and drops his hands from your shoulders. “Because news flash Harry pregnant people cry a lot okay?” He doesn’t want to start a fight with you so he just stands there and lets you take your frustration out on him because it was his poor choice of words that caused this reaction from you in the first place. “It’s not like I can control it either. I just cry all the time over the stupidest stuff.”

“I just don’t like seeing you cry.” You almost don’t hear his admission as he looks down at his feet while rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to make you upset I didn’t know you uhm had such strong feelings about rocking chairs that’s all.” He explains as he looks up at you making you let out a huff as your arms fall to your sides.

“It’s okay.” You tell him as you adjust the strap to your purse, Harry watches as you make a face of slight discomfort and he can’t even stop himself before he’s reaching over and grabbing the strap, he raises an eyebrow as his silent way of asking if this is okay and when you just let the strap of your bag fall into his hands he smiles as he takes your giant purse and puts the strap over his shoulder.

“I read somewhere that most people hyper fixate on one thing during their pregnancies and I just think mine has been the nursery. Mainly the furniture in it. So that’s why I uh had my-my little moment about the rocking chair.” You tell him as a way to help him get a better understanding on what’s going on in your mind, since you know having a breakdown in the middle of a store isn’t ideal especially for him. Mainly because anyone within a few feet of the two of you would be able to tell instantly who he is thanks to the short sleeves of his worn out Rolling Stones shirt letting his more recognizable tattoos be on display.

“Gemma’s was the car seat. She read every single safety review on hundreds of car seats and I swear she still doesn’t even like the one she uses everyday.” You smile as Harry talks about his sister, doing his best to help make you feel like he really does get it and that you being very particular about what you want in the twins nursery is totally normal.

“Oh speaking of Gemma I was thinking of Nora if one of them is a girl.” Harry feels as if his feet all of a sudden don’t know how to work as you turn around to begin heading down the aisle, tossing out a baby name as if it’s just a suggestion on what the two of you should eat for dinner and not a possible name for one of your children. “And I like Anne as a middle name and I know it’s her middle name and obviously it’s your mother’s name so I thought it would be cute?” You add having no clue Harry is still frozen in place a few paces behind you.

“Uhm-uh you’ve been thinking of-of names already?” He asks as he quickly rushes to catch up to you before you turn to head down another aisle that has framed art.

“Yeah? I’ve been thinking of names since I found out I was pregnant but I’ve just now narrowed the girl name down to that one.”

“And it’s Nora?”

“Yes I like Nora.”

“Nora is nice. I think I like it.”

“I’m glad.”

“So Nora as in Jones?”

“Uh more like Roberts.”

“And who’s that?” You stop mid step and turn to face Harry who has a very curious expression on his face as he flips through a bin of floral themed art.

“Nora Roberts is an author.” You answer making Harry just nod as a small smirk forms on his face.

“Should’ve known.” You roll your eyes as he looks over at you. “Of course you want to name our daughter after an author while I want to name her after a musician.”

“Well at least both Noras are talented.”

“You’re missing the most important part of this whole thing.”

“And that would be?”

“We just agreed on something.” The grin he gives you leaves you no choice but to smile back. “Nora Anne Styles? Or did you want them to have your last name? I’m fine with hyphenating it if you-”

“Styles is fine.” Harry feels hit with an odd swirl of emotions at your answer, knowing that you want the twins to have his last name makes him have a sense of pride but also makes him feel slightly nervous that one day they might hate having the same name as him. “I haven’t thought about boy names yet.” You tell him before you turn to look at a bin that has framed posters.

“Uhm how do you feel about Edward?”

“Edgar? Like Allen Poe?”

“Uh no I uhm said Edward not Edgar.”

“Oh sorry. Edward-Edward what?”

“James?”

“Edward James Styles.” You whisper it at first making Harry nervously rub his lips together as he listens to you repeat the name a few more times before nodding. “Okay yeah I like it.” You say with a smile as you place both hands on your bump before you turn to face him.

“Wow we are two for two.”

“Better stop before we break our streak or you even worst you make me cry.” Harry rolls his eyes as you take a step towards him while holding a hand out. He doesn’t know what you want his hand for but he turns so he’s facing you and gives it to you anyway with a quirked brow. “Can you feel that?” You ask as you place his hand on the side of your bump, he’s about to shake his head no when all of a sudden he feels like tiniest something press against his palm.

“Is-is that one of them?” You just nod as Harry stares down at his hand that’s pressed firmly against your bump. You watch his eyes go from wide and shocked to soft and glossed over so you place a hand over his and give it a small pat just as he lets out his first sniffle.

“Figured it was your turn to cry in public.” You joke as he blinks a few times trying to stop the tears from actually falling and rolling down his face.

“Thanks.” He says with a wet chuckle as you move his hand to the other side of your bump so he can feel another tiny little movement.

“I think they are stretching or something.” You explain as Harry just stares at his hand with a look of pure amazement. “They’ve been extra active today though.”

“I bet it’s because of the carrots I snuck in your juice this morning.”

The laugh you let out has Harry imagining for a moment this is what it would be like if the two of you weren’t just a few levels above being complete strangers who are having kids together and instead you were just two people happily shopping for nursery decor for their twins. It’s moments like this that he desperately wishes he could remember more about the night he met you because it’s glimpses of you like this, laughing at a stupid joke he said that have him feeling like you are so easy to be around and he’s sure that’s how he felt about you that night as well. But the harsh reality that Harry is very aware of is moments like this are rare for the two of you, he’s already made you cry today so he just tries to live in this moment that has him feeling a comforting sense of happiness as long as he can because sooner or later he knows it’s going to come to an end.

You let out a groan as you stretch your legs on your couch letting your sock covered feet land in Ethan’s lap which makes him just roll his eyes when he looks down and sees you wiggling your toes at him. He turns to look at you and lets out a laugh when you poke your bottom lip out and continue to wiggle your toes, a combination you know he can’t resist. Ethan lets out a huff as he places his phone down on the table next to the couch so he can use both hands to gently rub your slightly swollen ankles.

“You’re so lucky I love you because I usually never touch feet for free.” He states making you laugh as you get comfortable and go back to reading one of the pregnancy books Anne gave you the last time she came over. “Oh so how was the shopping trip the other day? Didn’t see you two on the news and you never called me to bail you out of jail so that must mean it went well?” He asks with a teasing tone that makes you roll your eyes as you flip a page in your book.

“It did go well actually I got a few new books for the twin’s bookshelf.” You begin as you lower your book a bit so you can see Ethan’s face over the top of it. “We picked baby names and-”

“Excuse me?” His eyes are wide and his hands momentarily stop rubbing your ankles as he snaps his head in your direction. “You did what now?”

“We sort of agreed on two baby names. I told him the one I’ve been thinking about for a girl-”

“Nora Anne?”

“Yes and he liked it but he thought it was because of Nora Jones.”

“Well yeah you can’t expect Mr. Asshole to know who Nora Roberts is.” You glare at Ethan for a moment making him just shrug because he doesn’t get what he did wrong so you just continue on explaining the baby names.

“But then he had an idea for a boy name and it’s uhm well it’s Edward James St-”

“James? As in Ethan James your super attractive young neighbor?” He all but shouts as he stares at you with an excited grin on his face and you just nod and laugh because you knew he would react this way to finding out the middle name Harry picked unknowingly wanting to give his son just so happens to belong to the very man he can’t stand.

“Exactly.”

“Weird way to ask me to be their godfather but I accept.” He says with a shrug as he goes back to focusing on rubbing your ankles.

“Don’t get crazy Ethan no one has asked you to be anyone’s godfather.” You explain with a laugh making him let out a dramatic sigh.

“Here I am rubbing your feet and ankles and you don’t even think I’m godfather material? That’s just rude.” You playfully glare at him when he turns his head to look at you with a smile. “But really I’m glad it’s going well with him I know you’ve been through some shit with that asshole so I’m happy that he seems to be making an effort to do things that are actually nice and helpful.” You just nod as you try to focus on the page you’re reading in your book.

“Yeah it’s been-”

“I saw photos of him out with another girl last night.” You drop your book to your lap as Ethan lets out a sigh of relief, feeling ten times lighter now that he’s spilled the beans about something he wasn’t sure he was going to tell you about or not but he figures you deserve to know the whereabouts of the father of your children.

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw photos of Harry out with some chick in a god awful tacky green silk dress with yellow-”

“Ethan.”

“Right sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair as he turns his body a bit so he is facing you, but makes sure your feet are still comfortably resting in his lap. “He was out at some club with her and they left hand in hand and got into his car and the only reason I known it was his car is because I recognized the driver.”

“Is that all?” Ethan raises an eyebrow at your question because you’re handling this rather differently than he expected.

“Uh yeah-yeah that’s all.”

“That’s okay.” You say with a slow nod before you grab your book. “He’s single he can be seen with whoever he wants.” You explain as you turn to the page you were just on, ignoring the look of confusion on Ethan’s face and the way your heart feels like it just dropped to the pit of your stomach.

“It’s okay if it’s not okay you know that right? He’s the father of your babies and it’s perfectly normal to feel attached to him in a way that no one will ever understand.” You can’t look at Ethan as he speaks or you’ll lose it so he just gives your feet a little squeeze before he reaches over and grabs the book out of your hands. “Look at me.” He says as he tosses your book onto your coffee table, you slowly look from your hands that are resting on your bump over to his face and then finally you meet his stare.

“He told me he had plans with his mom last night. That’s why he couldn’t come over to help put up the curtains I got for the nursery but he said he’d do it the next time he’s here to make my juice.” Ethan lets out a sigh as he watches your eyes get glossy as you let him in on a piece of information that you weren’t going to share with him because it seemed unimportant until now.

“God this wouldn’t be happening if you would’ve went with Zayn for your baby daddy.” His voice is serious but you know he’s joking as he reaches for one of your hands.

“Zayn wasn’t an option.” You explain with a sniffle as you try to stop the tears from falling with a few blinks.

“That’s a shame because that man is-”

“Was she pretty?” You mumble as you look away from Ethan and down at his hand that’s got a firm hold of yours as it rests on your bump. You don’t know why you asked because you know it doesn’t matter but you can’t help but be curious.

“Fuck no. She was hideous.” He watches the corners of your mouth twitch as you fight off a smile. “You’re the hottest woman that man has ever been with. Hands down.”

“You’re just saying that so I won’t cry.”

“No I’m not.” He argues as he gives your hand a squeeze. “I’m saying it so you’ll make me the godfather.” He smiles at the sound of your laughter even if it’s a littler watery sounding it’s better than the sound of you bawling your eyes out, that’s one sound he is sick of hearing from you. “I love you. You’re going to be okay.” You let out a sigh as you give his hand a squeeze making him smile.

“Thank you. I love you too.” With that Ethan lets go of your hand so he can lean over and grab your book off the coffee table and hand it back to you. The two of you silently deciding that you’ve had your fill of gossip for the evening so he picks up his phone with one hand and scrolls his social media pages while his other lazily rubs at your ankles. While you try to focus on the words on the page of your book you can’t help but let your mind wonder to the reasons why Harry would lie to you and if you should even bring it up to him. But as you get comfortable on the couch and Ethan lets out a soft sigh you decide that you’ll just deal with Harry later and enjoy your time with one of your bestfriends, refusing to let the man with the big dumb green eyes ruin anymore of your evening.

[charlie-ver]

Hey, you, the trans man reading this - I love you. I know there's posts like this, but I got down a bad rabbit hole last night and I think there's not enough nice posts towards trans men (:

I don't care if you've finished you transition, on won't be ever able to reach the changes you would like. I don't care if you've been on T for years, or just started, or won't be for some years, or can't or don't want to be. I do not care how you dress. I don't care if you want to be pregnant and have children one day. I don't care if you want hysterectomy and don't even want to freeze your eggs (Hell knows I am not freezing anything). I do not care if you want bottom surgery or if you love what you were born with. Because it doesn't matter and doesn't take away from your identity.

Gay trans men? You aren't just confused straight girls. You are valid in your gender AND sexuality. Straight trans men? You aren't a betrayal the moment you are no longer misgendered. You're still welcome in lgbtqia+ spaces. Because you're a part of our community. One does not lose their place the moment they are perceived and cis or cishet.

Cis men have heard it before, but they won't admit it. All this "if you like x you must be a girl" really just feels like repackaged "if you like x you must be gay". Wanna hear a secret?

HOBBIES, JOBS AND FAVORITE THINGS DO NOT HAVE GENDER.

I like botanical gardens. I love plants. I like looking at clothing, room decor, fabric stores sometimes catch my eye. Because I am am artist, and I take inspiration from these and many more things. Plant care and gardening is not a "red flag" for a trans man in my humble and trans opinion, but it's a sign that you have love to give. And that's beautiful. Just like liking these things does not indicate that a man is gay, it does not mean that your internal identity is any different.

Do not let the world put rails on your patch to your own masculinity. And if you have to hide, that's okay. If you can only be yourself online, that's okay. Trans people will always be here. Trans men will always be here. The best thing you can do is to live as safely as you can. I know this can come off as condescending from a European who has nothing to fear personally, except violence for one month in the year, because my way of being trans isn't "obvious", but I try to take it that my safety means I can try to reassure the rest of you, while you can just focus on your own misery and don't have to be strong for anyone but yourself.

If you need a safe place to went, come to my asks. If you don't want me to post them and just read them, that's ok. You can be angry, you can vent, you can cry, do whatever you need, but, obviously, no transphobia or anything (: Special love goes out to trans men who are of the aroace spectrum, because honestly, the aroace discourse never seems to die, it's just dismissed. Reminds me of something. Hm (: I wonder.

Anyhow. Come to me to cry, for a virtual hug, for a distraction, if you'd like. Feel free to ask for art. Want me to draw your trans characters with flags? I can do that, for free, for you. Ask or dm is enough (: Art and listening is the best I can do, but I'll do my best to do it well.

I love you. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy, and you also are wholly entitled to cry, to complain, to be sad, angry, loud, afraid. You are a human being with emotions, you deserve to feel them. Nobody can tell you what your internal identity, what your gender is. Because nobody else can know that. Only you can.

So let me repeat: It does not matter how you dress, whether you are on T, whether you want surgeries or love your body as is, whether you are skinny, fat, or muscular, what accessories and clothes you wear, how your voice sounds, how you act, how you carry yourself and what you like. The only thing that matters is how you feel. And while we're at it, yes, you may change your mind, but it still doesn't invalidate your identity in the moment. There was a time where I thought I was biromantic, but I dropped that because I wasn't, and nobody gave me shit for it. Because nobody should. Whatever you feel right now? Valid. Do you identify at a trans man but don't use he/him? Valid. Do you identify with more genders? Are you maybe a man only sometimes? Or are you more at the same time? All of that is valid, if you feel like a man in some aspect or on some part, you are one, if that's a label you want. If your gender makes more sense as a man, then yeah, you are one. Nothing else but how you feel matters.

I love you, and again, I'm here for you if you need that. I can only listen and draw a little something for you, but maybe that's enough for some. If it can help a bit, I can do it for you.

Anyone derailing this post will be blocked. I have no patience for derailers.

[snowluvvie]

₊˚⊹ ♡ . EASILY CONVINCED.

₊˚⊹ ♡ . RED K!CLARK X READER

₊˚⊹ ♡ . you want to leave him, but there's one thing keeping you there

₊˚⊹ ♡ . MDNI 18+ | word count — 2.8k | warnings — established toxic relationship, Clark does not care about your feelings at any point at all, manipulation, crying, oral (m. recieving), finger sucking, unprotected p in v, name-calling, hair-pulling

When Clark strolled into your shared Metropolis apartment, it was already after dark. The moonlight streaming in through the window glinted off the smooth marble countertop and illuminated you, already waiting in the shared kitchen for him to arrive home. Your arms were folded over your chest, eyebrows furrowed lightly. You were finally going to have the conversation you’d been needing to have with him for the past few months.

You thought if you came to Metropolis with him, stayed by his side rather than letting him run off on his own, things would get better. That isolation wouldn’t be good for him, and your presence would sway him to take off the ring and return to Smallville. It hadn’t. Sometimes it seemed like it worsened with the passing days—the going out and staying out for hours, sometimes overnight, being mouthy and rude, or just downright insulting. And you saw the way he looked at women passing on the street sometimes. It felt like being stabbed, though you’d given up on reprimanding him a while back. Now, though?

You’d come to the long overdue conclusion that this simply wasn’t the same Clark anymore, wasn’t your Clark. He wasn’t the guy that insisted on fixing your car when it made him late for school that day, or the guy that practically ran to your parents’ house to fix their fence when it broke, or the guy that kissed you like your face was something precious between his hands and fucked you like you actually meant something to him.

As Clark closed the front door behind him, your eyes caught on the obnoxiously large crimson ring still nestled on his giant hand. That old Clark was gone. Maybe one day he’d come back on his own, but for now? You wanted to go home. You wanted your life back.

You cleared your throat, and Clark raised his eyebrows as he regarded you standing there, waiting for him. “It’s late.”

He gives a halfway nod, lips quirking up into a smile, “It gets busier the later it gets. I should’ve stayed, really.”

By it he means that stupid club on the corner downtown. All pulsing blue lights and girls in the tiniest skirts you’ve ever seen. You’ve always tried to push its very existence out of your brain, and an involuntary shiver wracks your arms as you’re afflicted by thoughts of what he gets up to there.

“Well, I ate already.” Your arms tightened around you, silently cursing yourself for always fumbling when it came to things like this.

Clark hums in response, barely paying attention as he tugs his jacket off and tosses it onto the back of the chair. His keys clatter against the counter with a metallic clang, and he’s visibly already thinking about something else entirely.

You take a deep breath, “I wanna talk to you.”

“Y'are talking to me. Right now.” He flashes his pearly teeth, the little points peeking over his perfect bottom lip.

You shake your head, your eyes flicking away from him and instead focusing on the wall, or maybe the fridge. That was always how he got you—it was the same smile, the same twinkle in those blue eyes. It took all your willpower to stay grounded and remind yourself that no matter how bad you wished he was, he wasn’t your Clark. Your resolve trembled every time you looked at him.

“No, I mean talk to you about us.”

He rolls his eyes, “Not this again.” There he was. Dismissive and careless, which was all he’d been the last few months when he wasn’t just being blatantly mean.

“Listen! Yes, this again, you never let me finish!”

“I let you finish plenty. Wasn’t it…three times, last weekend?” He wanders over to the fridge, tugging the door open placidly. He looks over to you for a few moments, only long enough to see the way your jaw tightens as your face warms despite yourself.

“That’s not—I was trying to—” You huff, throwing your hands half-heartedly in the air as you struggle to articulate yourself. Like you always did, which Clark knew. “You know what I meant.”

Just as the last word left your lips, he slammed the fridge door. So hard the wall behind it rattled. "Can't this wait til' after I get somethin' to eat? 'M starved after tonight." He huffed out a laugh cause he knew what he was doing, leaving your imagination to run wild about what he'd got up to.

Though your bottom lip quivered a little bit, you shook your head. "No, you're a selfish dick. If I waited for you to want to talk to me, I'd be waiting forever."

Clark was across the kitchen and in your personal space in less than half a second, making you gasp. You tried to back up as he towered over you, but you bumped into the corner—he had you caged up against it. You avoided his eyes, though you couldn't escape his smell with how close he was. Delicious despite his bad behavior—oak barrels and gentle shampoo and sunlight. Your head swam as you took it in, you couldn't fight it when he grabbed your face, forcing it upwards. He craned your neck back to look at him, and his gaze was amused, lips tilted slightly upwards.

"My dick is a lot of things. Selfish is not one. You'd know, huh? There's only one greedy bitch here."

You were shaking like a leaf, and the squeak you let out was pathetic. "You know how I feel about the b-word."

Clark laughed loudly. "How you feel, and how you feel," his tone of voice lilted suggestively as his hand dipped down to the front of your shorts. "Are two very different things."

He paused for a half second, so you'd have time to say no, but it was mocking—he knew you wouldn't stop him. That made the seconds that stretched between you taunting, a total mockery of what you'd been trying to do, the corpse of your dead resolve practically half-buried already as you stood with baited breath, waiting for him to slip his hand where you wanted it.

As his hand went between your thighs, he grinned. “You’re real predictable, y’know that?” His fingers slid through your folds easily from how drenched they were. When he pulled his fingers from your panties, a glistening strand of your arousal clung onto them, and he shoved it in your face. Raising his eyebrows, “and you keep trying to act like you want me to be different. Liar.”

Your lip quivered from the misconstrued truth in his words, the way he could always use that against you. It wasn’t your fucking fault your boyfriend’s voice got you all hot, he was literally the most perfect man in the world, even when he was like this—that didn’t mean you wanted him to stay this way. The late-night whispers between the two of you as you laid on his barn couch back in Smallville, about a house and a family, were more important to you than the sex you seemingly couldn’t stop having. But why couldn’t you stop having it?

Clark shoved his fingers in your mouth, making you clean your own wetness off of them, and he intentionally shoved them back far enough to make you gag lightly. You hated the disappointment that bloomed in your belly when you realized he wasn’t going to relieve you further with his hand, he was just making a point. Your eyes burned.

"You owe me! I was ready to have a perfectly nice night an' settle in—you're the one who had to start somethin'." He rolled his eyes. "You're always doing this, y'know. Not very fair to me, is it?"

Your eyes watered and, though you were fighting furiously to keep it in, a little sniffle escaped you. The sound made Clark's eyes snap to you, just in time to watch the first tear slip down your cheek. The grin that spread across his face was sickening.

"C'mon. On your knees."

You hesitated for a moment, just long enough to make him punctate it with, "now."

The last of your resolve was officially gone and buried as you sunk to your knees, which met the cold tile underneath you, and looked up at him. Clark raised his eyebrows, prompting you with a nod, and your fingers found his belt and began undoing it. You fumbled with it a little, hands shaky through your crying.

When you raised a hand to wipe the tears from your face, Clark swatted it away. “Makes it extra wet, y’know that.” He reasoned with a charming smile.

You ignored him and finally got his belt undone, and his cock sprung out of the confines of his boxers already stiff. That only rubbed it in more—every insult and mockery he threw your way only made him harder, and your tears were just the nail in the coffin.

No matter how upset you were, it was muscle memory to take him as far back into your throat as you could, though you struggled. You gagged around it, saliva bubbling from the corners of your mouth. He was right, and the longer you went, your tears from both Clark’s mocking and how harshly you were gagging mixed with your spit and left his cock slick, your mouth sliding around it too easily. Your hand wrapped around the base so you could cover more of it, and his head fell back a little as you twisted your fist around his shaft at the same time your tongue swirled over his tip. The sigh he let out was contented, and he ran his fingers through your hair at the nape of your neck.

For a half second, you pretended it was Clark—your Clark. The guy who had held your hair back for you and rubbed your scalp soothingly when you had his dick in your mouth, doing his best to reward you for every good feeling you ‘gifted’ him, which was how he saw it.

The illusion was shattered when the fingers in your hair tightened sharply, making you yelp at the sudden pain. Clark groaned as your pained sounds vibrated around his cock, and he held your head in place as he started sliding in and out quicker, fucking your face at a more demanding pace than you’d been able to handle yourself. You gagged every time his tip hit the back of your throat, and Clark was letting the grunts and moans fall from his lips freely as you gagged, whined, and swallowed desperately around him.

“I like your mouth so much better when I do this. Not all that other shit.” He groaned. “Ah, fuck, ‘m gonna—”

Before he could finish his sentence, or cum down your throat, Clark was yanking you off of him by your hair. You let out a surprised yelp, but he was already snatching you up and tossing you over his shoulder like you were weightless. His shiny, throbbing cock still hung out of his blue jeans as he carried you to the back of the apartment and to your shared bedroom. He bumped your head on the doorframe as he brought you inside and ignored the noise you made, before tossing you down on the bed.

You sat there numbly, defeated, face streaked with tears and drool and precum, as Clark shrugged off his clothes and bared his inhumanly defined body to you. The moonlight coming in through the massive bedroom window—which wasn’t covered by the curtains, so you were sure some news helicopter would get a real eyeful of the habit Clark had developed to avoid a break-up—hit his chest in a way that made his tanned skin glow. Your mouth watered a little at the sight of him, something you’d truly never get used to, as if you needed more spit on your fucking face.

Clark wordlessly snapped his fingers at you as he knelt on the bed, and you moved obediently to hook your fingers in the waistband of your shorts and tug them and your panties down in one motion. Clark finished the job when he got impatient and made quick work of your thin sleep shirt, leaving it in two pieces by the foot of the bed.

He moved you like a doll, on all fours in front of him, fingers digging into your skin as he positioned you the way he wanted. The scream you let out when he sheathed inside you in one smooth motion—too big to fully bottom out, instead abusing your cervix immediately and giving you zero time to adjust—was muffled by his giant hand shoving your face into his pillow. That scent invaded your nose again, familiar and musky and clean, and you focused on it to distract yourself from the sting, gritting your teeth as you waited to adjust. Whines and yelps fell from your lips and were swallowed by the plush cotton, Clark still palming the back of your head to keep it there.

His pace was selfish and unforgiving, and though he was sliding in and out of you with no rhythm and no regard for how you felt, that didn’t stop the way your body began going limp, your pained squeaks turning into desperate moans and whimpers. “Nghh—ah, ah,” and you were sure Clark could hear it, no matter how drowned out it was by the wet, explicit skin-on-skin noises that filled the room.

He let your face up for a minute, and you gasped for breath.

“Feelin’ better now that you’re all full? Y’know—you’re always goin’ on and on—y’say you’re ‘not happy’” he did a high-pitched voice, mocking you, and you keened in response as he kept pumping inside of you, “I think what you mean to say is empty. Cause you’re all smiles when you're like this—real happy, right?”

Your only response was a low whine, and he smacked your ass hard. You jolted and yelped from the pain, but couldn’t move away from the second loud slap he landed against your cheek. He was holding you too tightly in place.

“Answer me.” Clark prompted, though his amused tone concealed an underlying threat as his hand still hovered over the globe of your ass, which was already blooming with red.

“Nngh—yes.” You cried out, but he clucked his tongue at you, ramming into you particularly hard to punctuate it. Your eyes rolled back.

“Yes what?”

“H-happy—‘m happy, thank you.” Fresh tears rolled down your cheeks from the way he was punishing your cunt.

You could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “there ya go!” Though, of course, nothing nice. He never fucking said anything nice. Said you hadn’t earned it, no matter what you did.

“Aah, shit—” His hips stuttered a little bit, and he let out a breath through gritted teeth. You clenched around him harshly and he groaned in response, your own release was creeping up on you.

“I dunno if you—argh—deserve my cum. Not today. Y’just cause problems.”

The pleading whine you let out was high-pitched and pathetic, the pillow wet with your still-flowing tears and the idea of him pulling out right now was torturous to you. He could’ve threatened to kill you and it would’ve been a less horrific idea.

“Please… please, Clark, please.” You babbled like a broken record, borderline incoherent through the snot and tears and broken moans. He was drilling your pussy, which was still squeezing him like a vice, and he laughed at your begging.

“One day I’ll stop bein' so nice, y’know?” Was the last thing Clark said before he came inside of you with a low, delicious groan, hips slamming into yours harshly as he fucked you through his orgasm. Your whole body shook with the force of it, limp and spasming, though he held you up easily. Your own release washed over you, and you finally let out a desperate, ecstatic cry as you were rewarded with the white-hot pleasure. The two of you were one, actually together for a few moments as you both reveled in the pleasure, something you didn't get from him anymore. Something you desperately missed, and your face screwed up at the familiar feeling.

It was over as quickly as it happened.

After Clark pulled out, he had the decency to arrange your limbs into some semblance of a laying position for you, since you were far too gone to do it. Your whole body felt like syrup. He laid your head on your own pillow, which made you miss the familiar smell of his, and tugged the covers over you. You didn't think you could speak if you wanted to, or remember your own name—or think of anything but him.

Clark rolled back over, a satisfied smirk playing at the corners of his lips. He was perfectly composed, though your chest still heaved as you tried to catch your breath. Shakily, you took a few slow, deep ones. There was a fuzzy warmth tugging at the edges of your brain and your chest. Like there always was after he was done with you.

“I love you.” You mumbled as your eyes drifted shut.

Clark’s answer was matter-of-fact, so close to being neutral if it wasn’t for the smugness that crept in.

“I know.”

[alilobsessive]

The Terrible Crow

All your life you desired recognition from your father, well you got it! But not from your bio dad, things only grow worse from there. For the Bats, not for you.

All your life you have longed for one thing, you’re Father’s recognition. At first it was simple things, like getting good grades, school awards. Anything for him to tell you how good of a job you’re doing. When he brought in Dick that changed, the escalation was quick. If he could be Robin, if he could fight with your Father why couldn’t you? Eventually after years of begging he agreed, then not even a week later he took in Jason and he became the new Robin. Your Father told you it was because he was older then you, already making it safer for him to go then you. When you brought up the fact that you’re the same age as Dick when he started, your father countered that Dick already had years more training with his parents than you.

After that you reluctantly didn’t argue, scared of seeming like nothing more than a spoiled kid. Jason in you began training together, although the two of you grew a bond it never felt right. Everyone called you close and although you liked him a part of you was resentful. You’re Father was always tougher on your training then Dick or Jason, always finding a flaw no matter how long you practice. In a way it helped you perfect your skills to the last detail. But he never told you “good job” not like Dick or Jason, it was always moving right on to the next thing. After Jason’s death the training got worse, he was somehow harder and stricter than before. You went to bed sore with aching bones and bruises from training, if you went to bed at all that is. Sometimes your sleep schedule was what was being trained, he would make you stay up for days at I time, rarely doing anything more than a nap. He told you this was similar to the training he went through, that it would make you stronger.

You never got the chance to prove it though, not even a half a year since Jason died a new boy was brought in. Tim’s the same age as you, highly intelligent and good at stealth but completely untrained. “SO WHY IS HE ROBIN!” You screeched at the man you call Father, Tim stands there glaring at you. He has a red mark on his cheek from where you slapped him when you were told he would be Robin. You were instantly yelled at and reprimanded by your Father for this, which started this argument in the first place. “I HAVE TRAINED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE FOR THIS, I HAVE DONE ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU WANTED ME TO! I FOLLOWED YOUR ORDERS I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO THIS” You scream at him, tears filling your eyes and falling down your cheeks. He just stares at you, expression blank and unchanging “what made you think I’d ever make you Robin?” Is all he says. Freezing you just stare at him crushed. “You’re dismissed” you feel like he spits it out, he doesn’t but it feels like he does “don’t ever train here again, nor even think about being a vigilante” you’ve never felt so much rage and sorrow before. You turn around to leave pushing Tim to the ground as you do “you’re grounded!” He calls out. Without even looking back you flip him off “fuck you Bruce!”.

After that things were never the same, you never wanted to try at anything anymore. What was the point in constantly studying if it meant nothing? So you did whatever you wanted, there were barely any consequences. Bruce didn’t give a shit about you, he never truly did. Alfred always sided with Bruce, sure he called him out when he was in the wrong, but that rarely changed anything with you. Dick was as absent in your life as ever. Finally you and Tim’s relationship was shit, it would never recover, at least you didn’t care if it did or not.

Eventually though you stumbled across a niche that peaked your interest. It started small, quick one minute videos about animal biology you finished the nearly 10 year old channel's entire library of content in 2 days. Then it evolved into animal psychology and finally to humans, what made them tick. It was fascinating every last detail interested you, from the mating habits of raccoons to the study that showed most humans could pick out snakes in extremely pixelated and blurry images. Even the more questionable experiments that would never pass today, like the wire and cloth mothers, and the monster study. Things that would have been difficult to prove or research if it wasn’t for the unethicalness of it all. Hell, even the bullshit study with gorillas learning sign language was interesting, even if the whole thing was completely pointless and awfully mismanaged. It was just so interesting to learn about.

Then you stumbled across it, a familiar name, Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow. All his published studies were almost 2 decades old, but that didn’t stop how interesting they were. Both as a glimpse into the mind of a madman who long had his license revoked and as a study in how the mind understood fear in general. Sure you were made to memorize his habits, his usual schemes, hell you even helped reverse engineer and make a cure for several of his fear toxin strands. But you never learned about his studies, never learned about the person behind the mask. But now you wanted to, desperately, of course you couldn’t just go to Arkham. Bruce would learn about it and who knows what he would do once he learns of your little…. curiosity.

No, you didn’t want that, so you lied in wait for the perfect time. But while you did so you studied, falling back into old habits. Day and night you obsessively researched human psychology, several studies both bullshit and true. You memorized everything, dates, names, places, what effects they had, any changes or new revelations in the study, what they were studying and in some cases what they ended up actually studying. You even ended up dabbing deeper into chemistry. All of this to impress someone, but you enjoyed learning these things. All of this was fun, unlike dealing with Bruce.

Then finally the day came, Scarecrow broke out of Arkham. Using the skills Bruce ground into your brain you found him. It was pretty easy, you're shocked he didn’t find Scarecrow sooner. Of course you ended up captured, tied to a chair in one of his labs. Oh also a gun pointed at your head, neat! “What are you doing here?” Scarecrow says suspiciously, a wide grin forms on your face as you happily say “I want you to teach me!” The man just looked at you strangely. Then he laughed, “this isn’t a very funny joke kid” the man sneered at you. “But I’m not! I’ve read your work Mr. Crane! It’s absolutely fascinating! I want to learn more, especially about your newer unpublished stuff!” He just stares at you, “really?” He asks, pointing the gun down. Although he doesn’t look like he believes you, “then prove it” before you can even react the gun is back at your head and he shoots.

The bullet barely misses but you don’t move, don’t even flinch, you just smile. You know how manic you look, but you don’t care. Scarecrow just stares at you surprised, he completely lowered the gun and put it away. “Well..” he mumbles, “I guess I can give you a test” that made you feel nothing but pure glee.

The costume you were put in started out simple, a almost completely black suit with blue gloves and a mask vaguely resembling a plague doctor. You thought you looked like a rip off emperor's coven member but that’s not that important. As Crow as his apprentice you were first given grunt work, helping and leading his henchman in getting supplies for whatever project he was working on. That was when you weren’t doing homework, taking notes, organizing documents. The Bat’s were completely unaware of what you were doing, sure they knew you had something after school. The one time they asked you told them you got an internship. They didn’t even bother to verify if that was true or not. Alfred was the only one who even slightly cared and even then he was just proud that you finally found a calling away from the vigilante life. Boy was he only slightly correct.

Things started ramping up after you defeated Tim, Robin in combat. The pure smug joy you felt at that moment is indescribable. The rejected Robin, who's rusty, proving that they're stronger, faster, smarter, better than the current? You were so excited you almost went into hysterics, and the fear on his face as you brutally kicked his ass? Priceless! They didn’t even realize it was you, but Scarecrow did, he recognized how similar your fighting style are instantly. At first you were worried, scared even about what he’d do now that he knew. Truthfully he was suspicious at first, but once you told him your story, how you were rejected from being Robin in favor of the second and third. How cruel they were to you before and after, even said you would tell him the secret identities of the bat’s and everyone you know is affiliated with them. Both publicly and privately, although he rejected your offer he saw your desperation. How much you want, no needed to stay, to keep this. Scarecrow accepted your loyalty and at that moment you truly became Crow.

To commemorate this occasion you got an outfit change. It became more padded, the mask looking more like a helmet then anything, and boots that increase your height by several inches. You were also made to train in a different combat style with both the added height and change of vision it was a necessity. But also to help cover your tracks as Crow from the Bat’s. So you grow, you changed, you trained and trained and they never noticed. Not when you came back injured from work, with new bruises and scars. Not when you came home with gifts, or when you brought your assignments back with you. They were completely ignorant as Scarecrow, Jonathan Crane, he became your family, your father.

Eventually though Bruce got suspicious, he never figured out who you were, not until much later. But he realized you're doing something shady, the man never put in the effort to figure out what exactly. So he sent you off to a college far from the city, of course he let you pick the field you wanted. It wasn’t too hard to figure out what to do, psychology was already your passion after all and you were being trained by the best. The only issue was Crow, how to excuse there absence. So faking an extreme injury a week before you left easily fixed that. Afterwards you packed up and went to school, a school you would never return from, not to the manor at least.

There you continued your studies, your training in all forms and your contacts with Scarecrow. The only real difficult thing was not getting caught in your less ethical studies. You spent from the age of 18 to 24 studying as much as possible in your field getting both a bachelor’s and master’s. The plan was to go for a PHD too, but sadly things were interrupted and you quickly returned home. Your dad, Scarecrow was extremely injured during a fight and was in the hospital. Someone needed to step up, that person was you.

This time your outfit changed once more, it made you look even bigger and bulkier then you were. A cloak with a feathered collar, iron gloves with clawed ends, the faceless bird helmet looking even more imposing. Everything in your power to make you look as menacing as possible, large and imposing, a night to rival the knight. As you were making your return known you discovered something interesting, a new Robin, a baby brother. Dispute your issue with your family something about this was exciting. You felt so happy and you didn’t know why, but the fact he’s a Robin? Well, the kid needed to be taught a very important lesson before he learned it the hard way.

It wasn’t hard leading him to Wayne tower by himself. Kid had the skills but no discipline, reckless and willing to do anything to prove himself worthy. You can relate, which is way it has to be you who dose this. You approach the 10 year old boy from the shadows “you came alone hatchling?” You say in a soft voice. He jumps away and wipes his head around to face you eyes wide, he pulls out his sword and points it at you. “How-“ “a magician never reveals there secrets” you say playfully “now put the sword down baby bird” he doesn’t just glares at you. He then lunges forward aiming for your throat, but it wasn’t hard to grab the blade and rip it from his hand. He stares at you wide eyed as you throw it to the other side of the building, he quickly reorganize himself and throw a punch. But you dodge it, each kick and punch he sent was easily avoided.

As he moved to kick your head you grabbed his leg, and pulled him away. “You know” you begin walking to the edge tone not changing, “in nature Crows and Robins have an interest relationship. Crows are an omnivorous creature, they don’t just eat seeds and nuts like some people will have you believe. They’ve even been reported to peck out the eyes and tongues of lambs. Robins are no exception,” you hold him over the edge and watch as his eyes widen. He squirms and yells, “Crows will actually protect the nests of Robins, for a fee of course.” Batman should appear any minute now. “There young, they take and feast on the eggs and hatchlings. They basically farm them, it’s fascinating really. Crows are one of the smartest birds, about as intelligent as a 7 year old human. We’re watching the first signs of the evolution of a society!” You say almost giddy, “little mafias! It’s adorable and fascinating!” “We’re are you going with this” you just stare down at him, your mask making it nothing more then a dark void. You can practically feel his presence close to you, “it’s simple really! I’ve never been payed my dues! And you’re just a hatchling that doesn’t know better” and you drop him.

Batman catches him of course, but by the time he does and gets back up the tower you’re already long gone.

——————

Sorry if it takes a while for me to post things! I haven’t been feeling great both physically and mentally lately.

[insertfunkyusernamehere]

lewis hamilton nsfw headcanons [male reader]

been almost a year lol. anywho, i'm back with more of bbg lewis <3

word count: 1.5k

again, i'm not a fem aligned dni account just because i write with a male reader. enjoy, whoever you may be :)

with a male partner, lewis turns a submissive little cockslut. fucking fight me

he's definitely on his knees for you every second day, nose buried in your pubes as he nips on your balls and licks long stripes up your length

you swear he gets drunk off the mere scent of you, the way he furiously ruts against your leg as he has your cock plugging up his throat has him acting as though he's getting paid for it

and god does he love it when you roughly grab his head, your hand like an anchor as it keeps him in place while you roll your hips into his face, using his throat to quench your sinful desires

he doesn't even care if you manage to pry tears from him, he just loves how raw he feels when your tip probes at the little dangly thing that swings at the back of his throat. so long as you're making more noise than he is, he's happy. he gets off on making you feel good

and when you cum in his mouth, he makes sure not to waste a single drop, eagerly lapping up every white bead that dribbles from your slit like a dehydrated man stranded in the desert

he then gets flustered when you pat his burning cheek, say he did a good job, and tease him about the wet spot on the front of his pants. that's gonna stain

while he loves giving you head more than anything, he is certainly not opposed to receiving a sneaky blowjob before or after a race.

he likes when people are around, it only further fuels the adrenaline surging through his veins. he gets a rush like he does when he's racing if he hears footsteps down the hallway while he's got you between his legs, muffling his sounds with his hand as he presses his back against the door with all his might

part of him wants someone to see, to see how he's got such a beautiful man all to himself. but he really doesn't want to deal with the media

when there's no time for penetration, the man absolutely adores frottage

there's just something about seeing your length slide against his, your cock being slick with both of yours and his arousal, your balls mushed against his and dragging with each languid thrust that turns him to a whimpering mess

it's a truly pitiful sight to see him humping your cock like a wild animal in heat

he particularly loves when you have your fingers jammed inside his hole while he's on top. he can't help but whimper, unsure whether to be bucking his cock into yours or rocking back against your hand

you give him a false sense of dominance whenever he's on top, it always gets to his head but you're quick to remind him who's truly the one in charge with a very sudden thrust inside of him

but he cares not, he loves it so long as it brings you pleasure

he's also a complete sucker for dirty talk

mostly when you talk dirty to him, typically because you rid his ability to speak when you plough the ever-living shit out of him

he loves when you tease him while his brain is melting out his ears, muttering filthy things into his ear that would make a sailor blush while he's on the brink of an orgasm

telling him how well he's such a good boy for taking your cock so well, how he's the prettiest little thing you've ever fucked the absolute stars out of, how you're never gonna be truly finished with him until you've completely rearranged his insides

is it possible to cum from words alone? because that's how lewis feels

he tries to tease back, but he simply can't keep up with you sometimes. you always manage to make him trail off or cry out mid-sentence

he goes scarlet when you prod at him over it

especially since he's away a lot, in a different country every week, he's constantly yearning for you. he loves calling you from his hotel room in the dead of night, telling you how he's got a hand in in his boxers and thoughts of you in his head.

he will absolutely melt with your voice in his ear, encouraging him as he desperately tugs on his aching cock, envisioning your hand instead of his. sometimes he packs a dildo in his suitcase so he can still feel like you're fucking him even while he's away. it's no substitute, of course...

but his mind is reduced to atoms when you please yourself alongside him, cumming at the same time and letting out choked sounds from the other end of the phone

you still succeed at making him feel like a virgin, even from a thousand miles away

he also definitely sends you explicit photographs paired with a cheeky text while you're at work

he always somehow manages to get you in the middle of a meeting with a very exposing picture that flashes a pretty purple plug plunged deep into his hole, accompanied by that innocence-feigning smile of his. your coworkers are confused as you suddenly excuse yourself from the room and head to the office restroom. you need to make a quick phone call...

you always panic, thinking your colleagues caught a brief glimpse of your phone screen, anything to distract them from the boredom grinding down on them as your boss drones on. whether they actually saw it or not, they would never confess. but they definitely giggle behind your back every time you enter the office, or look away and hide the red hue on their cheeks...

all it does is make you want to punish lewis even more when you get home. but he loves it, so is it even really a punishment?

but he definitely makes you drop everything to rush home in order to please him, he'll take any sort of treatment you have in store for him, even if that's strapping him to a chair and denying him and orgasm for hours on end. he'd rather it be you than a pillow

i cannot stress how much he loves when you throw him in doggy and then finish on his back, decorating the cross tattoo on his back with your cum. there's something about the faith that he holds so tender being tarnished by sins and debauchery, a major juxtaposition, that he finds so so so so hot

but he also just loves the position within itself, finding it to be very fulfilling. whether your hands are caged over his as you're marking his shoulder and you're ruthlessly fucking him into the mattress, or pistoning into him with a death grip on his thighs while he desperately paws at the sheets, he loves it all

lewis is also an avid enjoyer being wall fucked. period

having you manhandle him and lift him off the ground is sexy enough to him, but with you driving him up against the wall and letting gravity impale him on your cock makes him feel all sorts of things. he likes feeling as though he can't do anything about it. but he wouldn't want you to ever stop anyway

it's rare that you let the roles be reversed. it's not even a matter of you having to battle for dominance, he just doesn't even try to top. he's always so eager to be fucked by you and he makes it easy for you to get between his legs

you would actually have to coax him to get him to you fuck you instead, should you ever want that. and even then, you're still commanding him while he looms over you, telling him to go faster and harder, or slower and gentler. whatever your cup of tea may be

all it really does is give you a hotter view of his completely fucked out expressions, shadows casted across his face and highlighting his features in every perfect way. the way his brows crease up like the shell of a walnut, the way that small drop of drool slips out from the corner of his mouth and down his chin, the way his breaths come out heavy and ragged as he's inside you

he also definitely loves bringing sweet treats into the bedroom, like chocolate and such (yes, i'm piggybacking on that ONE interview, ifykyk)

he likes having you lay down, slipping a piece of chocolate past your lips and into your mouth, his finger lingering on your tongue before retreating

he would kiss you deeply after you'd swallowed, tasting the sweetness disperse from your mouth to his, feeling something stir inside him as aphrodisiac works its magic

he would like you to take a piece and run it across his body, melting the chocolate with the heat from both of your skin, leaving a trail of temptation along his torso for you to keenly lap up with your tongue

it's the only thing he's slightly worried to admit that he's genuinely into. he's eternally grateful that you indulged, reassuring him with a firm pat on the arse. he would chuckle softly and kiss you again

essentially, this man is a horny motherfucker and is just lucky that you are as well.

sex is never boring with lewis and he makes sure to keep you as satisfied as you make him happy

[writersblockiskillingme]

I NEED GI HUN X F! READER PLEASEEEEEE

There’s barely anything for him:((

It can be literally anything but rn I’m craving comfort so maybe Gi Hun comforts his girl when she starts crying and she can’t really explain what’s wrong

Comfort | Seong Gi-hun x reader

Pairing: Seong Gi-hun x fem!reader

Summary: You knew that hunting down the salesman was going to be difficult, but after everything that you've been through in the games alongside Gi-hun, sometimes everything feels like it's going to suffocate you. Luckily, he's always there for you.

Warning/s: angst, hurt/comfort, a little fluff, short fic, just two traumatized people trying to heal each other, PTSP (talking about the games), death, tears, sadness, depressed atmosphere, cigarette addiction, cursing (?), mourning, guns, hunting down the salesman, possible grammar and spelling mistakes

Author's note: So I finally got out of the writer's block, and I found some spare time, so I finally sat down to write. I gave it my best shot. I hope you like it! More to come.

Being his friend was easy. Being in love with him was even easier.

Once the games came around, everything became more complicated. I simply never thought that something like this was going to happen. Working in a job position that I did never brought me much money. Sure, it was enough to bring some food on my table and to cover the bills, but it wasn't anything big. However, once I found myself drowning in debt, I found myself in a horrific situation with no way out.

The money that I earned was not enough for respectable food, I couldn't pay my landlord for a few months, and I was a few weeks away from being kicked out on the streets. Not to mention the debt for which it seemed like I never paid enough to get out of. I thought moving back to Korea would somehow help me at least to escape the loan sharks and pay for necessary things, but I couldn't imagine how wrong I would be.

That's when I met him. The Salesman. Playing the ddakji with him for some money earned me some food for that night, but it also gave me an opportunity of a lifetime. It was an opportunity that I now know I would have never taken if I had known what was waiting for me out there once I called the number at the back of the card that he gave me.

Before the first game, I saw him. My old childhood friend Seong Gi-hun. Up until I saw him, I came to a realization about just how much I missed him.

Truth to be told, I have always felt something more than friendship for him ever since I was I kid. At first, I brushed it off, but when I entered my teenage years, I realized that I really loved him.

I had to move away when I was twenty years old. I haven't seen him ever since. I only heard a few snippets about his life during the years I spent away from Korea. I heard that he had a, now ex, wife, and a daughter.

It was his mother who called me. She used to watch over me sometimes when we were kids, and since I was her son's best friend back then, we kept in touch over the years. It was nice, to be honest. Up until the day that she called me for a regular check-up. I had just gotten off of work after a really bad day. I had just sat down by the kitchen counter when I heard my phone ringing. The entire time I was on a call with her, she sounded strange. Kind of nervous, maybe even a bit disappointed. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and when I asked her what was wrong she told me the joyful news.

"Gi-hun is getting married."

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. I somehow forced myself to finish the phone call, trying to sound as happy as I could, considering that the love of my life was marrying another. A few years later, he got a daughter, and I soon heard about the divorce. I tried calling him multiple times to check on him. He never answered.

We reconnected during the games. During the bloodshed. During the pain. During the tears. During the final game, where it was down to Sangwoo, him and I. After Sangwoo died, I knew I couldn't kill him. He couldn't either. After the stunt that we pulled, we survived. We were about to kill ourselves, we truly were, but then at the last second, just as the knife had scraped the surface of my neck, they announced two winners.

After that, I realized that I couldn't live without him. I didn't have a family, didn't have any friends. His mother died, and his daughter moved with her mother and stepfather to America he lost his family, too. We were everything to each other. We still are.

As the months, years, passed, we set ourselves on a mission of finding the salesman.

At first, we didn't touch the money covered with the invisible blood. We couldn't bring ourselves to do so, but when we realized that we may have a shot at taking down the games, we used the money only for that sole purpose.

The first thing we did was to pay off our debts. Then together we bought the love hotel called "Pink Motel" in Seoul. The sign outside was always tured off. We decided to buy it so we could live there and now we also use it as headquarters while tracking down the salesman. Which was always.

That was currently our only purpose in life right now.

After we figured out our plan, we started to work with the loan sharks that were chasing us because of our debts. We paid them to find the salesman, and they were searching relentlessly.

Our mental health hasn't been all that great either.

Both Gi-hun and I have developed a cigarette addiction. Sometimes all we did was breath in the intoxicating smoke instead of air. In a strange way it helped me breath. I wasn't so nervous anymore. My hands shook less.

Gi-hun has nightmares. Every single night. I have them, too, but not that frequently. He had a gun next to his nightstand. I had mine under the pillow. It brought a sense of comfort that was always short-lived.

The nightmares kept us up all night, and because of them, we couldn't find any rest even during the daytime. It was always the people we lost on that cured island. Sangwoo... Sae-byeok... Ali... The images of our friends dead never left my brain. And neither did Gi-hun's. Other times, we dreamt that we're still playing the games. Us dying. Each other dying. The Frotman. The salesman.

It was too much.

I was just monitoring the room where our most trusted men were practicing. I didn't realize when it had happened, but I fell asleep. I guess all those sleeping pills that Boss Kim gave to Gi-hun and me finally caught up to me.

I felt trapped. Gi-hun... he was dying in front of me during the squid game. I couldn't do anything about it. I held him, covered in his blood, crying, screaming, curing at the sky for the misfortune we had to live. Cursing the makers of the game. Cursing the Frontman. Cursing the pink guards that just stood there and did nothing. Cursing the world.

Hands.

They were shaking my shoulders.

My name.

It was uttered from the lips of the man that I would die for.

My eyes snapped open, meeting Gi-hun's worried ones. Once he realized that I was awake, his face visibly relaxed, relief washing over him as I heard him let out a sigh, his head and shoulders hung downwards.

"A nightmare again?" He asked me as he brought his hand up to my cheeks, whipping away the tears that I didn't know fell, but also wasn't surprised that they did.

"I-I can't-" I sobbed, unable to form a sentence as he quickly brought me in his arms, drowning me in his chest.

"Shhh..." He whispered as he ran his hand down my hair as I cried against his neck, drowning his black shirt with my tears, "I'm here. You're okay."

"Yo-You w-were-" I stuttered, tears streaming down my cheeks, "You were dying, and I-I couldn't s-save y-you."

For a moment, there was just quiet in the room. Neither spoke. The only thing breaking the silence of our bedroom were my cries.

"Do you know why I never answered your phone calls after you found out about the divorce?" He asked me, his voice low, but soft with comfort. His sudden question about that topic surprising me a bit, "Do you know why my mother told you about it instead of me? The wedding, the divorce?"

"No."

"It was because I didn't want to face the fact that I was the cause of your misery." He whispered, still softly running his hand through my hair, my cries slowly dying down as I listened to him speak.

"I have always loved you and I knew that I hurt you with my decision even though I never wanted that to happen. I just tried to forget about you, I never knew that I could actually be with you." He sighed, "I thought that it would be the best for you. I didn't deserve you, I'm not even sure I still do." He chuckled softly.

"But even though I may not deserve you, I will never stop fighting for you and your happiness. You are my everything, and I would be damned if I ever let you feel any sort of pain." He lifted my chin with his hand as he leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine, our lips almost meeting each other's, "We will find him and end this, but for now, how about I make you some tea and we get you to bed huh, my love? What do you say?"

-

-

-

@shadow-tumbler

[thatgirlthatwritessmut]

weird rq but likeeee? oh well here we go ! so basically rafe and yn are dating but then she finds out about the sheriff peterkin thing from ju and when rafe comes home she is PACING. she and rafe have a conversation and she goes to call the police but then rafe doesn't want to go to jail and tries to say it's because JJ doesn't like him and she obviously doesn't believe it so he like thinks about killing her but then ends up locking her in the thingy majigy I forgot what it's called til she changes her mind

idea honestly came from this song so !

calm down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rafe cameron x female reader

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ~ your boyfriend rafe locks you in a room until you calm down after finding out about him killing sheriff peterkin.

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ dark!rafe, violence, toxic behaviors, unhealthy relationship, emotional outbursts, kisses, crying.

—————

your friends and lover never got along. there was always something coming up. your pogue friends would always tell you that you should break up with rafe but you simply wouldn’t. even though you were pretty sure he was a psychopath you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him.

rafe didn't make it easy though. he was short tempered and ill mannered. sometimes you wanted to smack him across the face for the words that spilled from it. at times you did let your feelings get the best of you and the shape of your handprint would take over the pale flesh of his cheek. he would soon grab a hold of you and the two of you would tussle around but it wouldn't be long till your lips crashed on his inhaling his toxicity.

you knew this relationship was bad for you but you were blinded by love and desire which made the recent information that you were given hard to swallow.

you're taking your family boat out enjoying the air from the sea before you get a text from your friend jj.

jj: y/n I need you to meet me at my place. we need to talk. now.

confusion corses through your body as you quickly reply back.

y/n: jj what's going on?

jj: just hurry and get here fast.

you immediately put your phone aside as you grab a hold of the steering wheel on the boat and head for the dock. once you arrive you tie it up. as you finish you dash towards your car, hitting the gas. its not long till you're on jj front porch knocking on the door filled with worry. jj quickly opens the door and pulls you in without a word. "jj...whats going on?!" you say breaking the silence. he stares at you calculating his words. "you won't believe me.". "how could you know that?" you say slightly annoyed. "because its involving your boy toy...". your body freezes suddenly becoming breathless. "r-....rafe?- what the fuck did he do now?". "something bad. something he's not going to come back from...well he might because he's blaming everything he did on john b.". "what?!...why the hell is he doing that?". jj goes silent again. 'WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO JJ?!" you finally shout.

“HE SHOT SHERIFF PETERKIN!”

as you hear those words you step back not believing what's been said. "no....NO! that can't be true. he's done his fair share of fucked up things but he would never go as far as....as far as...murder.". 'oh yeah? that's funny because I saw him with my own eyes. me, kie, pope, john b, and even sarah. she'll tell you what he did and that's her own blood!".

you shake your head, tears beginning to blur your vision. you try to speak through your tightened throat. "whe-...when did this happen?". "recently....I wanted to let you know sooner but a LOT as been going on. I wasn't sure if you were at his place or not so i texted you as soon as i could. you're not safe around him y/n!". you stare at the wall choked up before making your way to the door.

"hey! where are you going?". jj quickly foots behind you not letting you out of his sight. as you walk outside you run to your car not looking back. "y/n don't do this! you hear me? don't!". you ignore jj's commands entering your car and slamming the door behind you. "I'm getting to the bottom of this! don't follow me!". with that said you put your car in reverse and make your way to the cameron house.

~~~~

you’re pacing at the front door as rafe arrives home. he glances at you surprised by your presence. as he locks the door he greets you. “hey baby. you didn’t tell me you were stopping by-”. “did you kill sheriff peterkin?”. he face stiffens as he looks up from the lock and stares at the door back facing you. silence takes over the house as your movements stop as well, eyes burning a hole into his neck. you repeat your question. “DID YOU KILL-”. “who told you that?” he snaps, turning around now stepping towards you with speed. “don’t worry about who. answer my damn question rafe!”. his jaw clenches as he stares at you then looks away trying to come up with a lie. “no. john b did.”. you immediately strike back. “liar….i know you’re not telling the truth i can see it in your face!”. you point your finger at him disgusted that he has put you in this position.

rafe begins to shake his head. “not here. not while wheezy and rose is at home okay? lets-”. “NO! no! you will not push me away rafe! why not tell the truth why not tell them that you KILLED SHERIFF PETE-”. rafe grabs you and takes his hand to your mouth silencing your words. “i really wish you wouldn’t do that.” he says, his strength besting you. “get off of me!” you say muffled as you push him away only being able to break free because he allowed you. the two of you stare at each other silently before you speak once again. “rafe…i’m going to ask you one last time. did. you. kill. sheriff. peterkin?”.

he narrows his eyes at you before shaking his head once again. you force a smile as you nod. “…okay…well i guess i’ll find out once the police hears about this won’t i?”. you make your way to the door and he blocks your path. “what does that mean?”. “oh you know what it means.”. his icey glare slightly scares you but you don’t let it show. you inch closer to him. “what now rafe?…are you going to shoot me too?”. you see the gears start to turn in his head, like he was actually considering the idea.

you try to push past him again but now you’re met with his hand to your neck. “r- rafe?” you stutter gripping his wrist. he starts backing you to a door glaring at you with every step. when your back hits the door you yell. “let me go!”. he doesn’t listen pulling you to the side by your neck as he opens the room and throws you inside of it. you fall to the ground wincing in pain. as you look back you watch him swiftly close the door. as you lay on the ground you start to hear a locking sound. you eyes widen and you panick. “no..NO! RAFE!”. you get up from the floor, pacing to the door and begin pounding it. “LET ME OUT!” you scream, beginning to kick. “i’m not letting you out, y/n. not until you calm down, okay?”. “screw you!” you shout through the door. “i’m trying to be civil here, and you’re freaking out right now.”. as your face turns with anger you suddenly hear a familiar voice coming down the stairs.

“rafe what the hell is going on? who is that?”. “r- rose?” you say thankful that she was here. “is- is that y/n?” rose says confused. “yeah.” rafe admits. “why is she locked in there?”. you immediately answer. “rafe locked me in!”. “she’s locked in there because sometimes you have to make the hard choice, right? she just didn’t get that.”. he then turns to the door so he can make sure you hear him. “you fail to understand that constantly, don’t you? huh? DONT YOU?”. he brings his fist up to punch the door. “shut the hell up!” you scream as you push your shoulder into the wood standing between you two hoping to break the lock. “you need to CALM DOWN!” he yells back at you. “what do you mean calm down?!” you reply. but then the other side of the door goes quiet. as a little time goes by you hear something again.

“y/n…what is it going to be?”. your pounding stops as you hear rafe’s voice again. “where is rose?”. “she went upstairs okay? i told her you’re fine which you are.”. “RAFE! stop it now! let me out!”. “i’ll only let you out once you promise me that you won’t go to the cops. so i’ll say it again...what is it going to be?”. you stop responding. soon rafe presses his ear to the door confused but quickly hears a glass shattering against the door. “LET ME OUT ASSHOLE!”. “okay. I’ll give you some time to come to your senses.”. as you hear his steps grow distant you punch harder. “let me out!” you insist. “i really wanna help you, but i need you to help me too okay?” rafe says as he walks up the stairs. you begin to repeat the word “no” over and over again not wanting to stay in the room another minute. “rafe? rafe?…please don’t leave!” you say softly as you give up on breaking the door. you slowly fall to the floor backing up into a corner bringing your knees to your chest. you cover your face as tears fill your eyes. you couldn’t believe what was happening.

after a while you hear the lock turning. you lift yourself from the floor watching as rafe opens the door. “y/n? have you calmed down?”. you nod your head repeatedly slowly walking towards him. as you walk out the door he grabs a hold of your waist. “i hope you can forgive me. i never want you to have to see me like that but you gave me no choice.” he says wiping your tears away with his thumb. your head nods as you sniffle. he then plants a kiss on your cheek then temple as he pull you into a hug. as he locks you into his warm embrace your mind fills with one thought.

should you protect your friends or your lover?

writers note ~ sorry if this feels rushed. lots have been going on in my life. i hope you still enjoyed !! :)

[gyubakeries]

𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀 | k.mg [TEASER]

a/n: this fic has been in the works ever since mingyu dropped the cover, and im finally getting around to posting it! writing it was no easy task, and when the idea of the angst olympics collab came around, i felt like it was the perfect time. this fic is very precious to me, and i hope you like reading it too!

shout-out to ally ( @lovetaroandtaemin ) for making this pretty banner for the fic!! also thanking all my beta-readers (tagged in main fic) for helping me out <3

lastly, i wanna thank the angst olympics collab for motivating me to finish this fic. i hope you guys like this one <3

word count (for teaser): 361 contents (for teaser): mingyu x f!reader , post-break up , mentioned drinking , angst

FULL FIC SET TO RELEASE ON - 4/2/24 @ 7 PM PST

read the full fic -- here!

check out the angst olympics collab -- here! and don't forget to support all the other writers too <3

summary: both you and mingyu know that your relationship ended a year ago. it was clear from the way you left and he never chased after you. then why do you still see glimpses of each other every time you’re trying to move on?

it's all wrong.

when mingyu wakes up, a white ceiling presses down on him, the scent of oranges suffocates him, and skin that is brushing against his isn't warm.

he feels uneasy, his skin prickling at all these foreign sensations.

it's all wrong.

he should have been looking up at tattered glow-in-the-dark stickers on a pale blue ceiling. he should have been in the embrace of sweet roses that always managed to make him feel at home. he should have been touching skin that keeps him warm through the coldest winter nights.

he should have done a lot of other things too.

he didn't.

—

"y/n, i know you're in there," comes your best friend's voice. he's teetering on the edge of exasperation, but you can only laugh to yourself.

it's a pathetic sound, and you can only think of when it used to be much happier.

"you better be decent," seungkwan warns, before he's punching in the code to your apartment and letting himself in. the stench of alcohol hits him first, and then his eyes land on you—slumped against the couch, hand clutching an empty bottle of alcohol, and a hazy look in your red-rimmed eyes.

"you promised you wouldn't do this to yourself anymore," seungkwan whispers, biting back all the nagging and scolding when he sees your blank, regretful smile.

"promises aren't a real concept anymore, kwan," you croak out, voice hoarse from all the crying. "they're never real."

you repeat the words like a mantra, sometimes in your head, and sometimes out loud. seungkwan bites his tongue to stop himself from crying in front of you as he helps you get off the floor, drink some water, and sleep in your bed.

"i'll stay the night," seungkwan tells you, already pulling out the air mattress he bought for himself ever since you started drinking to the brink of alcohol poisoning. "tell me if you need anything."

him, you think. i need him. kim mingyu. he's all i’ve ever needed.

seungkwan can read your mind, and he stays silent after that.

you fall asleep without saying anything, and old glow-in-the-dark stars and real laughter haunt your dreams again.

fill this form to be added to the taglist <3

head to the masterlist for more!

[enemiestolovershoe]

20 Moments bf!Chris Made Your Heart Swell

bf!Chris x fem!reader

Words: 800

bf!Chris who always makes sure you get home safe. It doesn’t matter if you’re out with friends, running errands, or just heading home from work—Chris won’t sleep until he knows you’re safe. "Text me when you get home," he always says. And if you forget? Your phone buzzes with a simple, "You home, love?" Every time, without fail.

bf!Chris who memorizes your coffee order. You never have to ask—he just knows. One morning, you were running late, and before you could even stress about skipping your caffeine fix, he handed you your usual. "Figured you’d need it," he said with a smirk.

bf!Chris who leaves his hoodies at your place on purpose. You always tell him he forgets them, but he never corrects you. "You just look cuter in them," he admits one night when you’re curled up in his hoodie, sleeves covering your hands.

bf!Chris who will literally drop anything for you. You once called him in the middle of a frustrating grocery run because the self-checkout machine wasn’t working. Five minutes later, he walked through the sliding doors, shaking his head with a grin. "Can’t leave you alone for one second, huh?"

bf!Chris who always pulls you closer in his sleep. Even when he’s dead asleep, his body knows where yours is. If you roll away, he’ll instinctively reach for you, mumbling something incoherent before tucking you against his chest.

bf!Chris who hypes you up over everything. New outfit? "Damn, my girl looks fine." Finished a book? "Look at you, a whole scholar." Made dinner? "Oh, we’re eating like royalty tonight!" No accomplishment is too small for his full support.

bf!Chris who gives you the last bite of everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s his favorite meal—if you want it, it’s yours. "Nah, I’m full," he’ll say, but you know he’s lying.

bf!Chris who kisses your forehead like it’s second nature. In the mornings, before he leaves, in the middle of conversations—it just happens. Sometimes, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. It’s just instinct.

bf!Chris who holds your hand under the table. Even in a crowded restaurant with all his friends, his hand finds yours. He doesn’t need to say anything—just having you close is enough.

bf!Chris who makes you feel like the only person in the world. At the end of the day, no matter what’s going on, he always makes time for you. "You good, baby?" he’ll ask, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. And when he looks at you, you know—there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

bf!Chris who texts you “good morning” and “goodnight” every single day. Even if he’s right next to you, even if he saw you five minutes ago—he still sends them. "Just in case you forget how much I love you," he says with a smirk.

bf!Chris who instinctively rests his hand on your thigh when he’s driving. It’s not even a conscious thing anymore. The second he gets in the car, his hand finds your leg, his thumb absentmindedly tracing circles against your skin.

bf!Chris who takes random photos of you when you’re not looking. You’ll find them in his camera roll—some blurry, some candid, all taken with a quiet kind of love. "I just like having pictures of my girl," he shrugs when you catch him.

bf!Chris who brings you snacks when you’re working late. If you’re busy, he won’t interrupt—he’ll just quietly place your favorite snack next to you and press a quick kiss to your temple before walking away.

bf!Chris who randomly tucks your hair behind your ear. It doesn’t matter where you are—talking, eating, watching a movie—if your hair falls in your face, he gently brushes it back without a second thought.

bf!Chris who rubs your back until you fall asleep. Some nights, when your mind won’t shut off, he just runs his hand up and down your back in slow, soothing motions until you drift off.

bf!Chris who makes up the dumbest nicknames for you. Some are cute, some are questionable, but they’re all undeniably Chris. "Come on, snickerdoodle," he’ll say, completely serious.

bf!Chris who always waits for you to walk inside before driving off. Even if you tell him it’s fine, he won’t leave until he sees you step inside. "Just wanna make sure my girl’s safe," he says every time.

bf!Chris who always notices the little things. New earrings? "Cute." Different perfume? "You smell good, baby." Something’s off? "What’s wrong?" Nothing about you goes unnoticed.

bf!Chris who pulls you closer when someone flirts with you. He’s not the jealous type, but if someone’s being too bold, his arm finds your waist, his lips press against your temple, and his voice is soft but firm—"She’s with me."

Taglist: @sophand4n4 @courta13

[princessmaeee]

Hi!!! May I request a GD x Fem!Reader, inspired by the skit where he played a villain/mob boss. Reader is there with him and the guys at the variety show, enjoying herself as she watches the guys play the silly games and loving how adorable her Ji-Yong is. But then she sees him come out and act all tough, her breath catches. Just when she thinks her bf can’t get any hotter. The others see her reaction and tease her relentlessly but she’s only got eyes for her man and his incredibly acting skills. How does he react when he learns that she’s all flustered by him acting all tough & possessive?

Villains Are Hots

Author's note : Hiii Sweety, thank you for the Request And sorry for the Wait ! I tried to search for G-Dragon Acting as villain. I found things, but I'm not sure If what I came with was exaclty what you wanted but I did my best ! I hope You will Enjoy it ! ♥

You were invited to a Variety show with all the other members of Big Bang and also Taeyang’s Wife, Min Hyo-Rin. The public knows you and the Leader, Ji Yong, are dating for almost a Year now and GD publicly said some weeks ago how serious this relationship is. You were more than happy he finally told you about you publicly. You didn’t rush him or even ask him this before, cause You knew how problematic it could’ve been if his fan reacted badly to the news, but happily for both of you, everyone accepted it, or almost everyone. The most recurrent criticism was about you not being an idol and just being a nobody, but you didn’t care and so did Ji Yong.

It was your first ever Tv appearance and you were sort of nervous, especially since none of the staff told you what’s gonna be about, but Hyo Rin seemed just as confused as you. She was in this industry for years and no one wanted to tell her what the show was going to be about.

When the animator called your name, you made your way on stage to your seat and the animator had a little conversation with you to introduce you a little bit more to the audience.

«-So, apparently you and G-Dragon have been dating for a moment. How is it to date a legend like him ? »

You blushed and gave a look to Hyo-Rin. You never did this before so you kinda start to feel anxious. You don’t want to say something wrong.

«-Oh, it’s … nice. I mean Ji Yong is really adorable and caring. He’s also really hard working. Sometimes I have to remind him to eat or to go sleep or even just get some rest. Otherwise he will literally work 24/24h. -And tell me how you met ? -It was three years ago. I had an Internship at YG for my work and I accidentally bumped into him on my first day. Well, in fact he bumped into me. I had an iced coffee in my hand so the impact made me spill it all over my clothes. Ji Yong apologized many times and got me a new outfit and also bought me another coffee. It was really sweet of him.-Yeah, that’s really kind. And did you recognise him when you bumped into each other ? -Not at all, I was too anxious, I barely had slept the night before so I didn’t pay attention. -And when you realised it, How did you react ? »

The animator continued to ask you questions until they switched to Hyo Rin, asking her about her relationship with Taeyang. Since she’s also an artist, she felt more comfortable with the questions. She was used to it, not like you. When question time was over, the animator introduced Big Bang and they appeared on stage, singing and dancing on their last released song. It was the first time you saw Your boyfriend performing live. You saw a lot of videos but never the live one. It made your heart beat faster and you smiled more as some sparkles lightened up in your eyes.

When they finished singing, it took place on the other side of the stage and the Animator started asking them questions about their dating life and for Taeyang and GD how they felt about having their partner on the stage today. GD smiled and answered ;

«-I’m happy she can finally see this other part of me. Performing is a big part of my life and of who I am, so having her there to see me live gives me motivation to give 110% of myself. »

You blushed and hid your face with your hand, smiling more. 

«-Congrat, GD, you made her blush, teased Taeyang. -Don’t say too much, she's gonna run away, continued Daesung. -Oh but you didn’t notice, but the camera did, when you were performing, how she reacted. Let’s watch Y/N reaction. »

On the big screen behind you, your face appeared and you could see your reaction wile looking at your boyfriend who was performing. You enjoyed it. As you look at your own reaction, you hide your face again in your hands, more embarrassed.

«-How are you feeling Y/N ? Asked the animator. -I don’t know. I’m not used to seeing myself on such a big screen. It’s kinda intimidating. -Keep an eye on her, I don’t think she’ll be ready for what’s next, said You boyfriend, with a big, to the animator.»

You gave him a confused look.

«-What have you planned ? You asked him.»

He just smiled at you and gave no answer. While the time off, you go back backstage. Ji yong passed close to you and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek before whispering in your ear.

«-You did an amazing job on stage, it seems really Natural for you. »

You smiled, happy to have given a good performance only by being yourself. You didn’t have time to answer Ji yong, he already left to go into the changing room with the other members. 

When you came back to the stage, the decor had changed. You were more and more confused about what will happen next. The staff showed you where to sit and you did. When the show restarted, the animator asked you.

«-So Y/N who’s your favorite Villain in any movies you have seen before, and Why ? -I think it’s ( Favorit’s villain name ) but I liked a lot more of the villains. Sometimes they’re not pure evil, they are just really broken. But also because I think they all have a lot of charisma. -That’s what we heard and that’s why we prepared a little sketch, with actors you will like of the ( scene name of villain you like ) from ( your favorite movie ) »

You started to make connections in your head and when the scene started, you saw your boyfriend, dressed with clothes who looked a lot like ( favorite villain name ) playing your favorite scene. You already love the character so much, but seeing your adorable Ji Yong as this evil character, playing like a pro, saying all hsi verses, it made your heart race more. You felt your cheeks becoming hot. For a moment you forget you were on stage with cameras, you just looked at GD performing with such admiration. Now you could definitely tell the difference between G-Dragon, the performer and Ji Yong, your adorable boyfriend. You can also say how much you like them both. 

Whe is performance were over, the animator looked at you and asked you something, but you didn’t pay attention, you eyes were still on your boyfriend who looked at you with a little smirk. Fuck that was hot.

«-I think you broke her, T.O.P said to his leader, when he noticed you didn’t answer the question the animator asked you. »

Your face became more red as you came back to reality, asking again what the question was.

«-What did you think of this little performance ? -It was… »

You looked at GD again and smiled at him.

«-It was hotter than the original. I’m glad to have such a talented Boyfriend. »

[npookie0]

Hiii, could we perhaps have some hcs for roning x artist!mc, so like their side hustle is drawing and stuffs and what he thinks of it? (and/or asks of them to maybe create something for him ^_^?)

Thank you for your time and stay hydrated <3

Sinner's Portrait.

Ronin x artist reader, headcanos, sweet and simple

Enjoy lovelies 🫶

Ronin was very interested in your artistry from the day he found out about it, he has a thing for creators after all. "You're a god on your own darling, a god who creates their own little worlds."

He is attentive to you whenever you show him your drawings or paintings, he asks about details and meanings behind every stroke of your brush.

When you paint he will stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you, chin resting on your shoulder while he watches your feelings and desires fill the blank canvas with colours and shapes

If there's a competition going around or if you're commissioned to make a big piece, Ronin will be there to keep you taking care of yourself, making sure you eat, drink and sleep. "As tragic as that would be, I can't have my lil artists pass out with their creation never finished."

Sometimes you doodle Ronin in your sketchbook or on your canvas before you cover them with paint, he finds it adorable how secretive you're trying to be with it.

You, obviously, give him paintings for his birthday, or Christmas, or any different occasion to give him anything - sometimes you don't even need an occasion, you just want to give him something. It makes him really happy, even if he's cocky about it and will always play his little nonchalant attitude with you. Your painting will now hang on his wall and he will brag about it to Angel, maybe be a little softie about them.

If you're in artblock, Ronin will offer himself as a model for you. "What? I kill people when I can't bring out any creative murder ideas, you can use a model when you can't get those creative thoughts to guide your brush."

Ronin doesn't ask you to paint him anything, at least not without making up an excuse for it. "Oh darlin', don'tcha want your lil creation to find their place in my home?" You know that he just wants to get a lil painting just dedicated to himself and you happily oblige, why wouldn't you make your edgelord of a boyfriend happy?

[lucy90712]

Holaaaaaa bonita

Would you ever consider writing a fluff alphabet for Héctor Fort?

I am in love with your writing 🦋

Have a great day / night

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about their partner?)

Physically Hector loves your hair. He loves playing with you hair it helps him relax he will run this fingers through it when it's all soft after you've washed it and he'll sit and braid small bits of it mindlessly as you watch a movie together. No matter what you do with your hair if it's done up nicely or you just throw it up in a messy bun he always thinks it looks amazing on you. 

Personality wise and just overall his favourite thing about you is your kindness. You are always helping people out where you can if you see someone struggling to carry something on the street you'll go over and help them. Hector loves this about you it makes him proud to be your boyfriend when he sees and hears about all the good deeds you do. Sometimes his friends will tell him that they've seen you helping someone out and it just fills him with pride. 

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He's too young to start properly thinking about starting a family but it's something he's excited to think about in the future. He knows one day you want kids and he does too so he knows it's in your future but it's something to think about then not now. He plans to be with you forever so the day will come just not anytime soon. 

C = Cuddle (How do they like to cuddle?)

Hector absolutely loves to cuddle. You never have to ask him twice to cuddle with you even if he should be doing something else he thinks cuddling is the best excuse to put off the task. Every evening he likes to settle down on the sofa with you in his arms. When he's away from you cuddles is the thing he misses the most and he always says he has to make up for lost cuddles when he comes home. His favourite way to cuddle is to hold you to his chest it doesn't matter if you are sat in his lap with your back to him or if you are laying down on top of him he likes to be able to hold you close. When you lay your head on his chest you always tell him how calming hearing his heartbeat is so when you are stressed he'll suggest you cuddle so he can watch as you relax. 

D = Dreams (How do they picture their future with their S/O?)

There isn't a single thing he doesn't want to experience with you. In the immediate future he is excited about finding an apartment for the two of you to live in together and make your own. He also wants to be able to travel the world with you he knows there's so many places and cultures that you want to experience and he wants to be able to take you to those places. He sees himself still playing for Barça for many years to come and having you there for all the big matches in Spain and across Europe and even the world if he is playing for the national team. All of the things he wants to achieve in his career and in everyday life he wants you by his side for all of those.

E = Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)

Hector is surprisingly good at expressing his emotions. His parents taught him that it's important to tell people how you feel calmly and not bottle up feelings which has made him great at expressing his emotions around you. This means that you have great communication in your relationship he will tell you if you have done something that annoys him or he doesn't like and you do the same. Your relationship is really healthy because of this which is a nice change to the relationship you had before. 

F = Feelings (When did they know they're in love?)

It didn't take long for him to know he was in love with you. There was lots of little things that made him fall for you but there was one moment where he realised how in love he was. He'd spent all day thinking about you as he'd been away for a few days and you'd been busy when he came back but he's going to see you after he finishes training. He's off his game in training as all he's thinking about is you. When he finally gets to your parent's place where you still live and you run up to him and all he feels is love for you. His heart just feels so full which makes him realise that he's completely in love with you. 

G = Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their S/O does for them?)

He's so incredibly grateful for you. You do so much for him, you are always there when he needs you whether that be after a hard day at training or a bad game he will always go to you first for comfort. He knows he relies on you a lot for support and he's endlessly thankful for that he knows it's a lot to deal with on top of all the stresses in your life so he always makes sure that he takes care of you too. He will always make sure he helps you out when he can in return for everything you do for him. 

H = Honesty (Do they have secrets they hide from their S/O?)

There are some things Hector keeps a secret for you but he always has a reason for keeping things from you. He will never tell you the amount of people he's blocked on your behalf so you don't see the hateful things they say about you. He will never tell you that he's done that nor will he tell you anything that's said about you as he doesn't want to upset you unnecessarily. He will also never tell you how many times he's seen people following you as you walk to his place knowing who you are and where you'll be going as he knows it would just freak you out. He's used to fans waiting outside his house and he knows how to deal with it and protect you once you are inside but he doesn't want you to be scared to go to his so he doesn't tell you the full extent of it. 

I = Injury (How would they react if you got hurt?)

When you hurt yourself he's usually more upset than you are. It can be something silly like a small cut or even a blister and he'll blame himself for not taking over chopping the vegetables or making you walk so far. He treats you like a glass vase as he doesn't want to ever see you hurt but of course he can't protect you from everyday life and how clumsy you can be sometimes. If you got a more serious injury he'd suddenly become a nurse making sure you take any medications you are supposed to take and he'll make sure you always have food and water. You take care of him when he's injured so he likes to return the favour if you get hurt and he's pretty good at it sometimes you think about saying you are still hurt just so he'll keep taking care of you. 

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? How do they deal with it)

Hector tries his best to not get jealous as he trusts you and knows you'd never engage with anyone who's trying to flirt with you. Sometimes he just can't help it though as wherever you go there is always multiple guys looking at you and he just hates knowing so many people are thinking about you in that way when you are his. When he does get jealous he will usually tell you that he doesn't like whatever situation so you will take charge and either leave if you can't fix the situation or you'll tell whoever is making Hector uncomfortable to leave you alone. There are times he lets jealousy get the better of him and he'll usually just get extra touchy until the guy gets the hunt and leaves you alone. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss you? How do they like to be kissed?)

He prefers kissing you on the lips over anywhere else as he thinks it's more intimate. He also loves to taste whatever lip balm you have on when he kisses you. He has a favourite lip balm which he will always notice straight away when he kisses you and you have it on. He likes when you kiss him on his jaw. For some reason it always makes him blush when you run up behind him and kiss him on the jaw. It's one of the little things you do that makes his heart swell for no real reason. 

L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

He says it first. He didn't mean to say it when he did the worst just slipped out by accident but he didn't regret it at all as it was what he truly felt. You both had spent the whole day together he took you to his training session and you'd taken him to the library to watch you do your school work then in the evening he told you to dress up so you could go for dinner. When you come back to his place you are exhausted after being out all day and are falling asleep in his lap which is when the words accidentally slip out. Hearing it wakes you right up but you say it right back without thinking too much which is a relief for him.

M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

There is so many good memories to pick from but one of his favourites is when you two had a beach day together during his time off in the summer. He laid next to you on the sand watching you read for a while before he couldn't sit still anymore and dragged you up to play volleyball with him. Of course he beat you but then these two guys asked to play against you both which you weren't so sure about but you smashed them. Both of you worked so well as a team despite the slight disadvantage with your height. It's one of Hector's favourite memories as you were so determined to win and really happy when you did. He loved seeing you so happy and having so much fun as sometimes you take life quite seriously. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He does like to spoil you. He makes good money and can afford to buy you nice things and things you like so he does. In his mind you deserve the world because you work so hard for everything else in your life and you are still there for him at every home match and whenever he needs you. You never take the things he gives you for granted you are always thankful that he chooses to spoil you with the money he earns. He doesn't always spoil you with material things when you wanted to start learning to drive he offered to pay for the lessons and the test so you don't have to use any of the money you have saved because why would you if he can pay for things. 

O = On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they're in love? Is it obvious to others?)

It's so incredibly obvious to everyone around him that he's in love. He doesn't shut up about you to his friends and family even before they met you they already knew so much about you as Hector told them everything there is to know about you. He also may as well have literal heart eyes whenever he sees you as his eyes just light up when you enter the room. His friends tease him all the time for how smitten he is with you but he doesn't care because he knows you make him the happiest he could ever be. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He doesn't use too many pet names for you but his go to is either amor or mi vida.

Q = Questions (What are the questions they're always asking?)

He's always asking where you want to go to dinner. He loves taking you out for date nights and you aren't the most decisive or assertive person so he likes to get you to decide where you want to go as a bit of practice on becoming more assertive. You feel safe making your thoughts heard around him which is why he likes to get you to practice ready for when you need to make your thoughts heard around other people. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

As long as he has the day off when it's raining he loves to just have a lazy day with you. Both your schedules are usually quite busy so getting a day to just chill together is always much appreciated even if it is horrible weather outside. The day will be spent watching films usually cheesy stupid ones so the mood is always lighthearted and fun plus you both like to make fun of how bad the movies are. The only break taken from watching movies is to bake some cookies or some sort of sweet snack to have for the rest of the day. It's usually chaotic baking together but Hector has learnt a lot about baking over his time with you so he's got a lot better at making less mess and measuring the ingredients accurately. No matter how chaotic it is the baked goods are always delicious and are a perfect snack for your day inside. 

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/S/O up?)

When he's sad Hector likes to do something to cheer himself up and usually he's choice of thing to do is kick a ball around as that's what he loves to do. If he can he'll get you to join him as he likes to teach you skills which you are useless at but that helps distract him as he has a lot of work to do to teach you. Watching you struggle and trip over your own feet makes him laugh and always has him feeling better by the time you go back inside. To cheer you up Hector will take you out on a drive, since he got his license he loves to just drive around and he loves it even more if you go with him. He'll take you somewhere where you have a good view of the city and just talk your ear off the whole time which really helps you to feel better. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He talks a lot just in general so he can talk about anything for hours. He will talk about anything and everything and you just listen to him because it's fun to watch him get so involved and passionate about random things. He also likes to listen to you explain the things you are studying so he can then annoy other people by explaining it to them in far too much detail. As much as he can talk at you for hours he also loves to discuss things with you he likes to bring up things and hear your opinion on them as you always seem to be so well educated and compassionate with your opinion. 

U = Understanding (How well do they know their partner?)

Hector knows a lot about you. He's still learning things about himself as are you so he doesn't know everything about you because even you don't but he always makes an effort to keep learning new things about you. That being said he knows the important things about you he knows your likes and dislikes, he knows how to read you like a book so can be there for you whenever you need him. He's very attentive to you and will never stop making an effort to learn about all the little things that make you who you are. 

V = Value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

You are a really important part of his life and you have been for a while now even before you were officially dating. At this stage in his life and career his focus has to be on football if he wants to improve and succeed at Barcelona but you understand that. He always makes sure you know you are important to him and it's been a discussion as to how he can make sure you feel appreciated while he's working on his career. Of course his family is incredibly important to him but he would always place you on the same level as them as your support and presence in his life is just as valuable to him as his family's.

W = Wedding (When, where, and how do they propose?)

It's a good few years before Hector even really thinks about proposing as you'd both said you want to settle into your lives before taking the next step in your relationship. When the time comes Hector wants to make it perfect because he wants to start the next stage of your lives on the best foot. He knows you aren't one for big gestures and you'd hate to have any attention on you during something like a proposal so he plans to propose to you in the privacy of your own home. He sets up rose petals on the floor for when you come home from a dinner with your friends which lead out to the garden where there is candles along side the trail of petals leading to him stood at the end of the garden. When you get closer he takes your hands and gets down on one knee. He says everything sweet thing you would want to hear before asking the question and placing the ring on your finger after you say yes. 

X = XOXO (How affectionate are they? In public/in private)

He's not very affectionate in public as he knows you don't like the attention it brings. Just being with him already brings attention and you don’t want to draw any extra eyes so he keeps the affection to a minimum. He will still always hold your hand as he likes to have the reassurance that you are next to him and that you are ok. Sometimes he will slip and arm around your waist but you will never see pictures of him kissing you in public because he wants to protect your feelings and privacy. In private he's a lot more affectionate he always has his arms around you and he's always pressing little kisses on your cheek or forehead. As long as you are around people you trust he will be his usual affectionate self. 

Y = Yearning (How well do they cope when they're separated from their S/O?)

He's used to being apart from you as he's often away for games and during preseason but that doesn't mean he doesn't miss you. He always looks forward to getting back home and seeing you again as he really does miss you but he is able to be apart from you. He thinks it's healthy to have time apart from each other and feel the feelings that come with missing each other and you feel the same way which is good for your relationship as you have to be apart a lot. 

Z = Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?)

He will do pretty much anything for you. Since the start of your relationship both of you have made plenty of compromises to make your relationship work but they don't feel like compromises as you are so happy in your relationship. He has also made plenty of decisions to better your relationship but to him it's a no brainer as he loves you and he'll do whatever he can to make your relationship as strong and healthy as it can be. 

[booksmood]

I humbly offer you a (kind of long) sneak peek of the fanfic I’m cooking up following the latest 19 days chapter

(I’m hoping to have the full thing posted on my ao3 @ sun_monsterz later this week, once my midterms are over and I can finish writing it!)

Mo had kept everything.

The proof was laid out right in front of him, yet it was still so hard for He Tian to believe. His old sweater. Their photos together. The studs Tian chose for him, and the piercing gun along with it. Even the note he’d written on scrap paper in middle school, a confession of sorts: ‘I don’t want you to like me more and more. Those words were lies.’

It was crushingly sentimental for Mo. Their relationship had been built up over the years on wordless affection rather than proper communication, especially surrounding matters of the heart, so Tian always had to assume that the love he felt was mutual.

Now, seeing all of this? It was as close to a confirmation of feelings that he thought he might ever get considering the new distance between them.

Following Tian’s sudden return, Mo seemed to have his guard constantly raised. Any hint of affection was met with immediate pushback, and any playful insinuations shot down with what Tian hoped were just harsh words that lacked truth, meant to hurt him as much as he now knew his departure hurt Mo.

Sometimes, when Tian tried to lighten things between them, he could see hints of the internal battle happening inside Mo. A blush that he tried to hide, or his increasingly delayed annoyance in response to affection. It made Tian hopeful that Mo still wanted him in this way, even if he didn’t trust Tian enough to accept being together again.

He knew everything that was broken between them was his fault, and that he didn’t deserve Mo’s forgiveness. Even still, the idea that he might no longer occupy a part of Mo’s heart remained an ever-growing fear that constantly ate away at him.

They desperately needed to talk, but neither of them wanted to make the leap towards that level of vulnerability. Communication was always where they faltered, but with Mo’s defences raised ever since he returned, and the finding of this box of keepsakes, Tian ached to be near him. To spill the contents of his heart until there was no doubt in Mo’s mind that he loved him unconditionally and always would.

It was all too much.

He couldn’t make himself look away from the box and its contents, the sides taped and re-taped several times over. It was clear that Mo had been through its contents with careful hands; everything was in pristine condition, as if handled delicately, though every remnant of He Tian’s face was carefully covered with thick white tape.

Tian picked up his old middle school ID card, feeling an overwhelming wave of emotion hit his chest. He swallowed down the emerging lump in his throat, his composure slipping away as the realization that he was remembered—that he could mean something important to someone—washed over him.

He knew he shouldn’t be seeing any of this. Mo had told him not to touch anything before leaving for work. It was just Tian’s luck that the first box he’d opened contained likely the most sensitive things of Mo’s that he would find in the apartment.

These were all the fragmented pieces of their past together. The fact that Mo still held on to them proved all of Tian’s desperate hopes, and simultaneously all of his fears. Because this was evidence that at some point and maybe even still, Mo really did love him. He hadn’t forgotten about Tian like he pretended to. The contents of this box proved that Mo treated their memories as something precious, not something to be discarded or forgotten.

But it was also clear that at some point, Mo decided he wanted to forget. The erasure of Tian’s face from every photo was telling of that deep hurt. Mo’s heart had been thoroughly broken by his indefinite departure, yet even still, he never let himself be completely rid of these special pieces of their past.

Tian decided he would never forgive himself for all of this brokenness he’d caused. As much as he feared being forgotten, he hated himself more knowing Mo was struggling with whether to remember him and live with the hurt of his absence, or let go and live peacefully.

When the tightness in his chest eventually became too much to bear, Tian placed the ID card back atop the pile of their memories, and slid himself backwards on the floor, further away from the box.

He buried his head in his arms and rested them on his knees, letting himself feel everything for the first time in years. It was a terrible truth, knowing Mo had been suffering through all the time they were apart. He felt a wash of shame for it, but even worse was the small part of him that grew sickly exhilarated, knowing the desperate love filling his chest was very likely reciprocated.

It felt like his heart would burst with all the warring emotions inside him. He was both desperate to see Mo, and terribly ashamed, wanting to hide from him until he could convincingly pretend he had never seen this memory box and learned the true contents of Mo’s heart. He wanted to kiss Mo until he knew Tian loved him like he would never be able to love another person, and he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness knowing he would never truly deserve it.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, regulating his breathing and scrubbing away the faint traces of wetness on his cheeks, he began moving himself around the tiny apartment unit in a blurry daze.

Minutes turned into hours as he made and remade the bed, cooked something barely edible with the leftover ingredients from last night, and eventually settled himself back on the floor, staring at Mo’s number on his phone as he contemplated calling him just to hear his voice and know that this man—impossibly—still cared about him.

He thought he should probably go outside, take a walk and get some fresh air to clear his mind, though he didn’t want to be away from Mo, and this place held all the traces of his presence. It was selfish, but learning of the box made him need Mo like the air in his lungs. The scary thing was, he didn’t think Mo needed him anymore.

He stared at his phone for another long moment, and then gave in and called.

[n-evermores]

By A Thread

Pairing: Alden Parker x NCIS!Reader Word Count: 6k+ Summary: Parker invites the reader to his cousin’s wedding, where unspoken feelings surface but end in rejection. Days later, a dangerous pursuit in the woods forces them to confront their feelings. Warnings: Age-gap romance A/N: A wedding scenario similar to Knight/Jimmy’s was requested about two years ago. I started writing it and couldn’t bring myself to find the right ending and it’s been stuck in my drafts. I finally decided to polish it up and finish it. This was a while back, which is why the beginning hints at Jimmy and Knight still keeping their relationship a secret. 

“Me and Delilah are taking the twins to the aquarium this weekend. They’re already so excited.” Tim grinned, his eyes twinkling with warmth.

“Sounds like you’re a bit excited too,” Jess teased, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

McGee just shrugged, his grin widening. She was right, of course, his face lit up every time he spoke about it.

“I have big plans this weekend too. We’re going—” Jess hesitated, releasing a nervous laugh. “You know.”

“Going where?” you asked, already guessing her plans involved Jimmy. Everyone knew about their relationship, yet she continued to dance around the topic like it was a big secret. Jess just shrugged, bringing her coffee cup to her lips to avoid answering.

Nick threw Jess a side-glance, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well, I’ve got plans too,” he announced with a shrug. “What about you? Any big plans this weekend?” He asked you.

“Nope. Just me, my couch, and Netflix,” you replied with a big, performative smile. The truth stung more than you liked to admit. You wished for something to break the monotony of your weekends. If you weren’t working, you were cooped up inside, watching TV. It was the same boring routine every weekend, and most days you silently hoped for a big case just to shake things up.

“No plans at all?” Jess asked, her surprise evident.

“Yeah, you need to get out more. You’re like a hermit,” Nick teased, his tone light but pointed.

You sighed, half-laughing. “I go to the cafe sometimes. And on occasion, I take myself to the movies,” you countered lightly. “I just never have anywhere to go is all.”

“Would you like somewhere to go?” A familiar voice interjected.

You turned to see Parker rounding the corner, carrying a box of sweets. His eyes flickered with uncertainty as he studied your face. “My cousin’s getting married this weekend. I was invited, and honestly, I’m not really one for weddings. I could use a plus one.” He offered you a small, nervous smile.

Your heart swelled in your chest at the sight of his hopeful expression. “Will there be cake?” you asked, trying to keep the moment light.

“Well, yeah. It’s a wedding,” he replied, his gaze searching yours. “So? What do you say?”

You stared into his eyes, your resolve crumbling under their gentle intensity. “How could I say no to that face? Okay. Count me in,” you agreed, earning a fleeting look of curiosity from Parker.

As he set the box of sweets down on his desk, you wondered if you’d said the wrong thing. How could I say no to that face? Honestly you may as well tell him you think he's hot. But it was true. How could you say no to him when he looked at you like that?

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at a quarter to six on Saturday,” he said, grabbing a pastry from the box.

Your heart did a little flip, and you took a steadying breath. You’d always loved the group trivia nights at Parker’s place, but you’d longed for a chance to spend time with him alone. The last time was weeks ago when he took you birdwatching. It was a memory you still clung to.

“You’re going to a wedding with Parker?” Nick leaned in, whispering just loud enough for you to hear. “You don’t think that’ll be a little awkward?”

You shrugged, brushing off his teasing. “No. Why would it be?”

Nick chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, try not to have too much fun. Parker might not be able to keep up.”

You just shook your head at Nick. You stole a glance at Parker and smiled, excited and nervous all at once. You couldn’t believe you were going somewhere formal with Parker. It almost felt like a date, but you quickly shoved that thought away.

It was not a date.

-

You stared at yourself in the mirror, scrutinizing your reflection. The cocktail dress was your favorite color, and it struck the perfect balance. It wasn’t too extravagant, but tasteful enough for a semi-formal event. Knight had offered you a long gown during your frantic search for the right outfit, but this felt more like you.

As you studied the curves of your body and the way the dress fit you like a glove, you wondered if Parker would like it. Or even notice it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the unease bubbling inside you. Meeting Parker’s family was intimidating enough. But more than that, the thought of being introduced as “just a friend” was a bittersweet reminder of your reality.

When the doorbell rang, you grabbed your clutch and hurried to open it. Parker stood there in a black suit with a crisp white button-down. His eyes widened slightly as he took you in.

“Wow. You look incredible,” he said, his voice soft.

You felt your cheeks heat under his gaze. “Well, look at you,” you replied with a smile, taking in how the suit complemented his already handsome face. God, he was just so good-looking, and you found yourself staring a little too long.

“Ready?” he asked, his hand brushing your elbow lightly as he gestured toward the car.

It wasn’t a date, you reminded yourself. But the way his hand lingered on your back as he guided you outside sent your heart racing.

Parker made small talk the entire way there, and you found yourself trying to relax as you tugged at your dress slightly. You were fine when he took you birdwatching, yet this felt different. The two of you, dressed nicely, attending a nice event with possible dancing. It was definitely different than birdwatching.

-

The venue was buzzing with laughter and chatter as Parker led you to your seats, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back. The brief contact was electric, and when it fell away, you missed it instantly.

You felt relief at spotting the familiar face of Roman. However, your relief was short-lived. Sitting next to him was Vivian, Parker’s ex-wife. The sight of her stirred an unwelcome pang of insecurity. You didn't want to feel that way. You liked Vivian, and you had little reason to feel the way you did, but you knew your irrational feelings had everything to do with your even more irrational feelings for Parker

“Dad, you didn’t tell me you were coming,” Parker said, his tone casual but edged with surprise.

“I wasn’t going to, but Viv convinced me,” Roman replied, nodding toward his companion.

Vivian smiled politely, but her gaze flickered to you, cool and appraising. The weight of her scrutiny made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You brought your hands to your lap, nervously fidgeting until Parker’s hand found yours, stilling your movements.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning in close enough for only you to hear.

“Yeah,” you lied, forcing a smile.

He removed his hand with a small nod. A few moments later, wedding music echoed off the walls and you all stood to welcome the bride as she walked down the aisle. 

You stole a glance at Vivian. She wasn't looking at you anymore, and you wondered if perhaps she was just as jealous of you as you were of her. She probably didn't expect to see Parker here with a woman. Or maybe she just didn't trust the situation.

After the newlyweds exchanged their vows, everyone made their way to the reception hall.

The reception was crowded, and you felt fine with Parker by your side, that was until he wasn’t anymoree. After the music began, and the newlyweds shared their first dance, couples began dancing together under soft lights. Your heart sank as you watched Parker and Vivian take to the floor. They moved effortlessly, their shared history evident in the way they laughed together.

A young man approached you, breaking your reverie. “Care to dance?” he asked, his smile probably charming to most, but you found it annoying considering your sudden sour mood.

You glanced at Parker, who gave you a small nod of encouragement from the dance floor. Pushing aside your disappointment, you placed your nearly empty glass of wine down and accepted the man’s hand.

He smiled at you, giving you a quick once over, “Is that your dad you came with?”

You felt heat rise to your face. “Um, no. We work together. His cousin is the bride.”

“Oh, I’m on the groom's side.” He said, twirling you gracefully before pulling you close again, his grip light yet steady. You tried to focus on the rhythm, but your mind wandered to Parker, his attention entirely on Vivian. The sight sent a dull pang through your chest, one you struggled to shake. After moments of going through the motions with your dance partner you were pulled from your thoughts.

"Having fun?" a familiar voice interrupted, startling you. You turned to see Parker, standing a little too close to ignore. His hazel eyes sparkled with amusement, and he extended a hand to you. "Mind if I cut in?"

Your dance partner hesitated but stepped aside, tipping his head politely. "She's all yours."

Parker’s hand settled comfortably on your waist, his other hand clasping yours. The warmth of his touch sent a ripple of awareness through you, one you hoped he didn’t notice.

Parker observed you, tilting his head slightly to study your face. His voice was soft, his gaze curious. “Something on your mind?”

You hesitated, your eyes darting briefly to your previous dance partner, who was now chatting animatedly with another guest near the edge of the dance floor. Parker followed your gaze, his lips curling into a teasing smirk.

“Ah,” he said, his tone playful. “Caught your eye, did he?”

Your face flushed instantly. “What? No!” you protested, far too quickly. “He just asked me to dance.” If only Parker knew it wasn't that stranger who caught your eye. It was him and your gaze has been unwavering ever since.

“Hmm,” Parker murmured, clearly unconvinced. His grin widened, and his gaze flickered back to you. “Then why are you so defensive?”

You rolled your eyes, desperately trying to deflect. “Well, what about you and Vivian? You two seem pretty close. It’s nice that you’re still good friends. That can’t be easy, considering, well, everything.”

Parker’s expression shifted slightly, his amusement giving way to something softer, more thoughtful. “Viv and I have a lot of history,” he admitted, his tone quieter now. “We didn’t end things on bad terms, so staying friends just made sense. She’s family, in a way. Her and my dad are still very close.”

You nodded, your fingers fidgeting slightly against his shoulder. “That’s admirable. Not every divorced couple can manage that.”

“It wasn’t easy at first,” Parker said with a small shrug. “But we found something that worked, and it’s been good since.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment you were too aware of the space, or lack thereof, between you two. The song shifted to something slower, the tempo almost forcing you to step closer. His hand on your waist tightened slightly and you reveled in it, even if it was just because of the dance.

“You’re still quiet,” Parker remarked again, his voice softer this time, almost a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze flickering away from his intense eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied, your voice not as steady as you’d hoped. “It’s just been a long day.”

Parker didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he held you a little closer, his thumb brushing absentmindedly along the fabric at your waist. “Well, in case I haven’t said it yet,” he murmured, his voice carrying a warmth that made your pulse quicken, “you look stunning tonight.”

Your cheeks heated again, and you couldn’t stop the small, bashful smile that tugged at your lips. “Thanks,” you said softly. He did say you looked incredible when he picked you up, but the way he spoke now just felt different. Did Parker find you attractive? He probably did, but was he attracted to you was the real question you wanted to know.

The rest of the dance passed in comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken feelings lingering between you. As the song ended and Parker reluctantly stepped back, you couldn’t help but wonder if he too felt that quiet pull, the unshakable connection.

But before you could dwell too long on the thought, Parker offered you a crooked smile. “C’mon,” he said, motioning toward the dessert table. “Let’s find something to indulge my sweet tooth.”

“Good, I can use another glass of wine too.” You said and followed him, your heart still fluttering.

At the dessert table, Parker carefully balanced two small plates piled high with slices of cake, his expression one of pure determination. You couldn’t help but laugh as he handed you one and grabbed a fork for himself. 

“What?” he asked, grinning as he caught your amused look. “I take dessert very seriously.”

“Clearly,” you teased, taking a small bite of the cake. It was rich, full of flavor, and just sweet enough to make you sigh with contentment. “Okay, I get it now. This is worth the hype.”

Parker chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on you for a beat too long before he spoke. “Told you. Weddings might not be my thing, but the cake always makes it worthwhile.”

You felt the heat of his attention and quickly took a sip of wine, the warmth spreading through your chest now more than just from the alcohol. Parker’s presence, his easy smile, the way he always seemed so effortlessly thoughtful, was starting to make your head spin. Or maybe that was the wine.

You finished your dessert, getting yet another glass of wine to wash it down all while Parker continued to eat, obviously not ready to let go of his sweets just yet. You found it cute how his face lit up while he ate. He leaned in conspiratorially. “Want to sneak out for a bit? I could use some fresh air.”

You nodded, grateful for the excuse to escape the crowd and the persistent ache of watching him interact with Vivian earlier. Together, you slipped outside into the crisp night air, the sound of laughter and music fading as the two of you wandered toward a quiet garden behind the venue.

The stars above sparkled like tiny diamonds, their brilliance mirrored in the soft glow of the fairy lights strung through the trees. You hugged your arms to yourself, more for comfort than warmth, as Parker fell into step beside you.

“You okay?” he asked gently, his voice breaking the comfortable silence. “I know I sound like a broken record, but you really have been quieter than usual.”

You hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress. The wine was making you bolder than usual, and for a moment, you considered brushing off his question. But Parker was looking at you with that familiar mix of curiosity and concern, and it made your chest ache.

“It’s nothing,” you said, though your voice didn’t carry much conviction. You gestured vaguely toward the sky. “Just one of those nights, I guess. Too much wine I suppose.”

Parker’s brow furrowed slightly, and he stopped walking, turning to face you fully. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Your laugh came out softer than you intended, almost wistful. “That’s the thing, Parker. Sometimes you make it hard to not tell you everything.”

He tilted his head, his expression shifting to something you couldn’t quite read. “Why’s that?”

You glanced away, staring at the stars as if they held the answer. “You’re just always kind to me and always patient with me. Albeit, a little sarcastic," You snorted, and Parker turned to look down at you with mirth in his eyes.

"Did you just use the word albeit?"

You shot him a glare, "As I was saying. You do things like invite me to a wedding just so I wouldn’t spend another weekend cooped up alone.” You trailed off, realizing you were rambling. “You’re just you.”

Parker’s lips quirked into a small smile, his voice soft when he spoke. “I don’t think you realize how easy you make it for me.”

Your gaze snapped to his, your heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

“You,” he said simply, as though the words had always been there, just waiting to be said. “I enjoy your company.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment, you felt like the ground had shifted beneath your feet. You swallowed hard, your pulse hammering in your ears. The wine buzzed in your system, loosening your tongue just enough for the truth to slip out.

“Sometimes I think I like spending time with you a little too much,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Parker’s eyes widened slightly. You knew you said too much. He blinked, surprise flickering across his face as if he hadn’t quite heard you right. He stared at you for a beat longer than was comfortable, his fork frozen mid-air over his slice of cake.

“Um,” he started slowly, his voice tinged with uncertainty, “are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You froze, realizing too late how much your words had revealed. The weight of his gaze made your chest tighten. “I didn’t mean,” you stammered, your cheeks burning. “Look, just forget I said anything, okay?”

He didn’t respond right away, his fork finally lowering to his plate. His brows knitted together, and for a moment, he looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Instead, his gaze flickered away from you, toward the stars above, his thoughts clearly racing.

“I’m sorry,” you added quickly, “I’ve had too much wine. That’s all. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/N,” Parker interrupted gently, his voice still low but insistent. His eyes met yours again, and you could see the hesitation in them, the cautious way he was picking through his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t, well, it’s just,” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, his usual calm demeanor visibly shaken. “You’re younger than me. I’m your boss. It’s—”

“Complicated,” you finished for him, your lips pressing into a small, strained smile. “I know. Trust me, I know. That’s why I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it, okay?”

He stared at you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he turned his attention back to his dessert, his fork clinking softly against the plate. You did the same with your wine, the tension between you palpable as you both sat in silence. The sweetness of the cake and wine felt muted now, the air between you too thick with everything unsaid.

You felt like such an idiot. How could you be so stupid to insinuate such a thing to your team leader, to a man clearly old enough to be your father? You wanted to walk into the night and just disappear into a void of nothing. It was embarrassing.

After a few moments, Parker finally broke the silence. “You’re asking me to forget something that I’m not sure I can,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost as if he were talking to himself.

You glanced at him, startled by the confession. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice cautious. Was he trying to admit he felt something too, or was your mind playing tricks on you?

He set his fork down as he met your gaze again. There was a vulnerability in his expression now, one you weren’t used to seeing from him. “Just,” he began slowly, carefully, “that I’ve thought about this before. About you. And I’ve told myself over and over again that it’s better to leave it alone. That it’s just easier that way.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “And now?”

He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he looked away again, his eyes scanning the garden like he might find the answer hidden in the foliage. “Now, I don’t know,” he said honestly. 

His words hit you like a tidal wave, but before you could respond, he shook his head, a small, humorless laugh escaping him. “I’m sorry,” he said, his tone softer now, almost apologetic. “This isn’t fair to you.”

“Parker,” you interrupted, your voice firm despite the tremble in your hands. “Don’t apologize. Please.”

He looked at you again, his expression conflicted. “You’re right. It’s complicated,” he said after a long pause. “And I need to think hard before I say or do something I can’t take back.”

You nodded, your chest aching as you forced a small smile. “I get it,” you said softly. “Really, I do.”

For a while, the two of you sat there in the quiet garden in silence. The weight of the conversation lingered between you, unspoken but impossible to ignore. And though nothing had been resolved, the air between you seemed different.

-

The drive back was quiet.

The sound of the engine and Parker's choice of music filled the space between you, neither of you daring to break the silence. Parker’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles faintly pale against the leather. You stole a glance at him, noticing the way his jaw was clenched, like he was deep in thought or maybe fighting with himself.

You weren’t sure what to say, and honestly, you weren’t sure if you should say anything at all. The tension from earlier still hung in the air, thick and heavy, leaving you to pick nervously at the hem of your dress.

When Parker pulled up outside your apartment building, the car rolled to a stop, and for a moment, neither of you moved. The quiet stretched, the weight of unspoken words settling in your chest. Finally, he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, moving to your side to open the door for you.

The two of you walked to your door in silence, the sound of your heels clicking softly against the pavement the only thing breaking the stillness.

When you reached your apartment door, you turned to face him, clutching your clutch tightly in both hands. Parker stood just a step away, his hands buried deep in his pockets, his shoulders slightly hunched like he was bracing himself against the night chill, or maybe his own thoughts.

“Good night,” he said finally, his voice low and steady.

“Good night,” you replied softly.

He hesitated, his eyes meeting yours, as if searching for something. Then, before you could react, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek. It was soft, tentative, and yet it sent a jolt of warmth through you that made your breath catch.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” he murmured, his lips just barely brushing your skin as he pulled back.

The moment lingered awkwardly, both of you standing too close, and neither of you willing to step away. The air between you felt voltaic, and your heart pounded in your chest as his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“Parker,” you started, your voice unsteady, but you didn’t get the chance to finish.

His hands reached up, seizing your face with a sudden urgency that made your breath hitch. And then his lips were on yours, hard and demanding, his kiss stealing the words from your mouth and replacing them with something far more primal.

Your clutch dropped to the floor as your hands instinctively found their way to his chest, clutching the fabric of his suit jacket as you kissed him back just as fiercely. The world around you disappeared, the only thing that mattered was the way his lips moved against yours, the warmth of his hands on your skin. You moaned into the kiss, pushing yourself flush against him. Your back hit the door, his hands moving to your waist to grip the fabric of your dress. You closed your eyes as he stippled soft kisses down your neck, and you buried your fingers in his hair.

But just as quickly as it began, it ended. Parker pulled back abruptly, his breathing unsteady, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment longer before falling away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, his voice rough, filled with equal parts regret and something deeper, something raw. He took a shaky step back, running a hand through his hair. “Good night.”

Before you could respond, he turned and walked away, his pace brisk, almost hurried. You stood frozen in place, watching him retreat to his car, your heart pounding and your lips still tingling from the kiss.

When he climbed into his car and drove off, you let out a shaky breath, finally letting yourself move. You unlocked your door and stepped inside, closing it behind you with a soft click. You leaned back against it and let out a long sigh, your head tilting back as you tried to process what had just happened.

Your fingers brushed your lips and then your neck, the memory of his kiss still fresh, still vivid. You could still feel the roughness of his beard against your skin, and the way his lips left soft kisses down your neck. You shivered at the recollection, yet he ripped himself from you too easily. You had no idea what this meant. What any of it meant but you knew one thing for sure.

 Work was going to be interesting.

. 

The next workday felt different, though you weren’t sure if it was real or just in your head. Parker had come in as he usually did, setting a box of pastries on his desk for the team, a small gesture of normalcy that only seemed to highlight how not normal things felt now.

The team gathered like clockwork, drawn to the smell of freshly baked goods, but you lingered at your desk, unwilling to engage too quickly.

Jessica Knight grabbed a pastry first, taking a big bite before leaning casually against Parker’s desk. “So,” she started, her voice light and curious, “how was the wedding?”

Parker, who was in the midst of placing his jacket over his chair, froze for the briefest of moments. He recovered quickly, straightening and offering a tight smile. “Good,” he said simply, his tone clipped.

Knight raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting more. “That’s it? Just ‘good’? I figured with you dragging Y/N along, there’d be some kind of funny story.”

Your heart lurched at the mention of your name, and you busied yourself with your computer screen, pretending to be engrossed in an email.

“Nope,” Parker said quickly, almost too quickly. “It was a nice wedding.” He cleared his throat and turned back to his files, signaling the end of the conversation.

But Nick wasn’t about to let it go. “So,” he called out with a sly grin. “How about you? Did you have fun?”

You froze, your hands pausing mid-typing as all eyes turned to you. You forced a smile, keeping your gaze firmly on your computer screen. “Yeah,” you said, your voice slightly too bright. “It was nice.”

The tension in the room was visible, and you could feel everyone’s curiosity like a weight pressing down on you. Knight’s gaze lingered, her sharp eyes darting between you and Parker, but for once, she didn’t press further.

Nick, however, let out a low whistle. “Okay, well, that was awkward,” he said with a chuckle, grabbing another pastry.

You muttered something about needing coffee and quickly excused yourself, heading for the break room and praying no one followed. All you could think about was the kiss and Parker's retreating form as he scurried away from you like a mouse from a cat. How were you supposed to work with him when you couldn't even look at him anymore?

-

The rest of the day passed in a blur, though you were painfully aware of every moment Parker spent in the same room as you. He didn’t try to talk to you, not that you gave him much of a chance. You avoided his gaze, kept your responses brief, and made yourself as inconspicuous as possible.

But as the afternoon wore on, you couldn’t avoid him forever.

You stepped into the elevator on your way to drop off some files, only for the doors to slide open again almost immediately. Parker stepped inside, his presence filling the small space and making the air feel heavier.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone cautious.

You nodded stiffly, keeping your eyes on the glowing panel of floor numbers.

The silence stretched, thick and unbearable, until Parker suddenly reached over and hit the emergency stop button. The elevator jolted to a halt, and the lights dimmed slightly, bathing the small space in a muted glow.

You turned to him, startled. “What are you doing?”

“Yeah,” he began, his voice steady but low, “we need to talk about last night.”

“There’s no need,” you said quickly, your voice sharp as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s fine. Just leave it.”

He stepped closer, his brow furrowed, his hands clenched at his sides. “It’s not fine,” he said firmly. “I crossed a line, and I need to apologize for that.”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and something deeper. “Don’t apologize again.”

He blinked, taken aback by the bitterness in your tone. "I was out of line.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that.” you snapped, your words coming out harsher than you intended. “Just drop it, okay? Pretend it didn’t happen. You’re my boss, and it’s complicated, and I get it. I get it, Parker.”

The hurt in your voice was undeniable, and Parker’s expression shifted, guilt flickering across his face. He opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head, holding up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” you said quietly, your voice breaking slightly.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, the silence heavy with all the things you weren’t saying. Finally, Parker nodded, his jaw tightening as he reached out to release the emergency stop. The elevator jolted back to life, the lights returning to full brightness as the hum of movement filled the space once more.

When the doors slid open, you stepped out without a word, your heart pounding in your chest as you walked away. This time you were like the mouse running from the cat and you couldn't bring yourself to look back.

And Parker? He stayed behind in the elevator, leaning back against the wall and running a hand over his face, the weight of what happened pressing down on him like a tidal wave.

-

The next time you and Parker said anything to each other was on the field. You mostly kept things professional, but now you were knee deep in a new case, and you had no choice but to interact.

Your suspect was hiding away somewhere in a cabin, and you and Parker went to question them. Of course, they ran off into the woods, only making themselves look more guilty.

"We've got a runner!" You shouted as you took off after them. You were fast, but the suspect obviously knew the woods better than either of you, navigating the trails with ease.

The sound of snapping branches and heavy breathing filling the air as you chased the suspect through the uneven terrain. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, the pounding of your boots against the forest floor matched the thudding of your heart. Parker was just a few steps behind you. You didn’t slow down.

The suspect glanced over his shoulder, his eyes wild as he realized how close you were. He darted to the left, trying to lose you in the dense trees, but you pushed harder, your legs burning as you closed the distance between you. You heard Parker call your name, telling you to be careful, but you didn’t stop.

You caught up to him just as he stumbled over a fallen log. Launching yourself forward, you tackled him to the ground. He let out a grunt of surprise, but before you could pin him fully, he twisted beneath you, throwing an elbow that knocked the wind out of you. You gasped, trying to recover, but he was quick. He shoved you off, scrambling to his feet as you fought to regain yours.

Parker’s voice called from somewhere behind you, but you barely registered it. The suspect turned on you again, swinging wildly. You ducked, countering with a punch to his side that made him stagger. You went to grab him, but with a sudden burst of strength, he shoved you hard.

Your foot slipped on the damp earth, and before you could find your balance, you felt your body lurch backward. The world tilted, and suddenly you were falling. The edge of the embankment crumbled beneath you, and you plummeted down a small ledge, crashing into the freezing rush of the river below.

The icy water hit you like a brick wall, stealing the breath from your lungs as the current dragged you under. You fought to break the surface, your limbs thrashing as the water pushed and pulled at you mercilessly. Panic set in as you struggled to stay afloat, the roar of the river filling your ears.

“Y/N!” Parker’s voice cut through the chaos, and through the blur of water and adrenaline, you saw him at the edge of the riverbank. His eyes were wide with fear as he searched for you, his weapon already holstered, his pursuit of the suspect completely abandoned.

Without hesitation, Parker leapt into the water. The current dragged at him immediately, but he fought against it, his desperate strokes propelling him toward you. You managed to grab onto a jagged rock protruding from the water, clinging to it desperately as he closed the distance.

“Hold on!” he shouted, his voice strained.

When he finally reached you, his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you free from the rock and against his chest. You could feel the strength in his grip as he fought to keep both of you above water, his breath ragged as he swam toward the shore.

After what felt like an eternity, Parker dragged you onto the muddy riverbank, collapsing beside you as the two of you gasped for air. Your body trembled violently, both from the cold and the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

“Y/N,” Parker rasped, his voice shaky as he sat up and pulled you into his arms. “Oh, thank God. Thank God you’re okay.”

You sank against him, your head resting on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you tightly, like he couldn’t bear to let go. His hand brushed over your face, wiping away the wet strands of hair clinging to your skin as his eyes searched yours.

“I thought I lost you,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

Your heart ached at the raw emotion in his words, and without a second thought, you reached up, your hand brushing his cheek. His gaze softened, and before you could even process what was happening, the two of you leaned in at the same time, your lips crashing together in a desperate, breathless kiss.

The kiss was messy, urgent, and filled with days of yearning since your last one. His hands cupped your face as you gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, neither of you caring about the mud or the cold. The kiss was pure, unspoken emotion, a silent confirmation of everything that had been building between you.

When you finally broke apart, you pressed your foreheads together as you tried to catch your breath. The world felt quieter now, the roar of the river fading into the background. Parker’s thumb brushed over your cheek, his eyes searching yours as if to make sure you were really okay.

You broke the silence first, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “If you apologize again, I swear I’m going to throw you in the river.”

A startled laugh burst from him, the tension breaking as he smiled down at you. “Noted,” he said, his voice warm with amusement.

And then he kissed you again, slower this time, his lips lingering on yours like he wanted to savor every second. As your arms wrapped around each other, the chaos of the day faded into the background. For now, this moment was all that mattered.

[sprunkimortality]

rubs my hands together,, jok 2 questions

clukr when did you start wearing those big ahh glasses 💀💀 they look like you see the other side of the world with them what in the prescription......

and two when you got married did your families ever meet or what (like mother and father

Clukr: "Well, actually, I've been wearing them since college. And they work well, thank you very much. As for that other question...well, Garnold has met my parents."

Garnold: "Nice old folks, I'd say! They make great stew!"

Clukr: "Was the food really the most memorable thing about them?"

Garnold: "Honey, if you'd only appreciate it more!"

Garnold: "Well, I myself don't have sleeping problems. Clukr...well...if staying up past midnight to finish a project counts as a sleeping problem, then he's got big problems."

Clukr: "Garnold, you know how I feel about dropping those!"

Garnold: "Honey, I never ask you to drop 'em. I just wish you'd take some time off, sometimes, you know? You've got bags under your eyes, love. And your spine's not getting any better if you keep hunching over your desk."

Clukr: "Hm."

Garnold: "Hey, it's why I'm here to help."

Clukr: "Alright...I'll admit...I'd likely be in a worse state had it not been for you."

Garnold: "I'll take that as a compliment! But seriously, Clukr. Ease out sometimes, y'know?"

Clukr: "Hm..."

Garnold: "We've known each other since high school! We dated some time during freshman year and then got married right after we both finished college! So, a while, actually!"

Clukr: "I can't believe it's been years..."

Garnold: "Yeah, we never do anniversaries, do we?"

Clukr: "Nada."

Garnold: "It'd only be extra stress for ya hun."

Clukr: "Well....you're not wrong. But, still. Sorry."

Garnold: "Hey, don't apologize! Our stupid lil' dates are enough to me. All that matters is that you're here, I'm here, and we're not goin' anywhere."

Clukr: "Garnold..."

Garnold: "Yeah, cheesy, I know. But you like cheesy, don'tcha? That's why you stayed."

Clukr: "Hrrmmm..."

Garnold: "Yeah, I'm right."

[Chuckling softly, Garnold plants a soft kiss on Clukr's cheek.]

Garnold: "Let's go to bed, hun."

Clukr: "Alright. Good night."

Garnold: "Night, love."

[Clukr and Garnold are now unaskable for the rest of the night.]

---

MFC: "I'm doing just swell! Things are better with my favorite Sprunki around!"

Gray: "Mm. Thanks."

MFC: "Anytime!"

[Fun Bot is currently asleep.]

Gray: "I've listened to death metal before. It's cool."

MFC: "Hehehehehe. I'd unleash The Rodent."