#i feel like i had way more spring thoughts while doodling these

[safyresky]

Spring doodles!! She's so cute and silly? She's been on the MIND, let me tell you. Have some close ups!

I've decided she has a pet baby lamb named Tuffet bc A) they're (bb lambs that is) cute and B) I thought it'd be fun lmao. He just appeared at her cottage one day and did not leave, and also did not grow, and so she named him Tuffet and now they are besties. Every year she tries to sick him on Winter, and he proceeds to do not that because. He is a baby. Spring thinks he's doing amazing anyway.

BOOM! MORE SPRING FACTS BELOW THE CUT!

I already put the Tuffet info above, lol. I just got really excited about it. Baby lambs are so fucking cute? What the fuck 😍😍😍😍😍

Spring loves flowers. She'll put that shit on anything—her baby lamb friend, her sisters, her nibblets, her great-nibblets, her fellow legates, her brother-in-law, the legends if she can sneak close enough

And she is NOT very good at sneaky. That's Autumn's forté!

(She would also put flowers on her BIL's twin. She would succeed because Winter would be glaring at him the entire time and he does not fuck with Winter).

Was a walking shrub before gaining form (will see in May in The Call part 2) and that's why her hair just stays like that

She CAN elementally charge it! And make it watery! And changes the flowers growing to reflect that—hence why it's down and long in #3. It's water, and probably runs reddish!

(Like iron enriched water, though I'm sure she can do blues—it's just more fun to have it be red >:)

I did a better doodle of the watery hair in my course notes this week:

She's fairly round in terms of hair and head! Her hair itself seems to have evolved from like, short haired sims 2 cc elevator cut with some wispy curls sticking out to Pink Diamond adjacent, or perhaps, cloud shaped, or maybe, flower shaped!

She's really fond of campy stuff, I've learnt. Apparently her favourite ordibeing restaurant is Rainforest Cafe (more on that later this week, I hope!)

As much as she hates shoulder season with Winter, she is very fond of the way things look after they freeze.

Winter uses this to her advantage when she pulls THIS KINDA SHIT in spring!

(As of drafting this post Sunday night. It was raining still. And ice is falling. And things still look decently frozen. It's supposed to be 12 whole ass degrees tomorrow though!)

She is so small and short and cute, I want to squish her guys. She's been so fun to draw the past week/weekend!

The baby lamb inspo came from this post! (And this image was ref'd for the sleeby and the flower crown!) The outfits in doodles 1, 2, and 4 can be found here, here, and here.

I guess? I've SORT OF started the to-draw tag adventure? I actually have stuff from the very first to draw pages all sketched out! I haven't had time to colour them/line them, and accidentally did them back to back so NOW I can't use my MARKERS or it'll bleed through and I'm kinda proud of those particular doodles, lol! Don't wanna ruin EITHER SET. The twins look much better than the Cold Front, admittedly. Their pose was more dynamic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've got one more set for those I wanted to add as well, I just haven't gotten around to it. Thursday night used to be doodle time but alas, Critical Role finished and now I find myself having to more actively make time for doodles. (Which, I'm doing! Progress is slow, but husbando is a sweetie who reminds me that me time is necessary and he's fine).

GOD it's SO FUN being able to draw your SILLY LITTLE GUYS FROM YOUR HEAD 🥰🥰🥰🥰 100/10, WOULD recommend!

[mitchellpete]

Dating Maverick (Headcanons)

summary: What dating Mav is like. (In ‘86 and in TG:M)

pairing: pete “maverick” mitchell x gn!reader

genre: fluff, a bit of angst

word count: 1278

A/N: if anybody wants a drabble/one-shot or for me to expand on any one of these (or if you wanna just talk about or exchange hcs), drop me an inbox! 

-

1986 (and a few years after-ish)

Maverick is a very gentle lover. It didn’t seem so at first, with how cocky and flirty he might’ve been to catch your attention, but after the second date? So vulnerable and soft with you.

He can sing! Like actually super well. You noticed one day and now you ask him to sing when you can’t sleep. He was kind of self-conscious at first, used to singing with Goose in a playful, rowdy manner, as opposed to softly to you. He grew more comfortable as time passed, and now he likes to sing you his mother’s favorite songs.

But also gets incredibly obnoxious sometimes and will loudly impersonate Elvis while you’re trying to get something done.

Spontaneous road trips on his motorcycle (when he’s able). Dinner in Oceanside. Lunch in Palm Springs. A pick up in Vegas. A day in Phoenix. When? Now! Now?!

Knows the Southwest like the back of his hand, actually. It’s not as fun as flying, but driving through the wide, open stretch of desert with you clinging behind him is one of his absolute favorite pastimes.

Is from somewhere in the Southwest, therefore he absolutely hates the cold. Will have the heater on in the winter time and is not opposed to getting wrapped up in blankets by you. You tease him on how easily cold he gets, and he’ll playfully go “Whatever.”

You frequently find random candid photos of you. Taped to his wall, to his fridge, suddenly framed on his bedside table. He almost never mentions them until you laugh and point them out, to which he responds, “I thought you looked pretty there.” (With a shit-eating grin.)

Definitely has one in his F-14, by the way.

Is very stubborn about his attire. Very insistent on dressing like a cowboy at all times. You had to buy him his first pair of beach shorts.

Loves seeing you in his clothes; he’s crazy about it, actually.

Very cute lunch dates. He knows the best diners.

He likes taking you out for ice cream. Sometimes you share a cone and watch the sunset and the planes soaring through the sky. 

He’s the best kisser. He prefers soft, sensual kissing and it definitely has its effect on you.

He has a habit of leaving paper planes everywhere. Some with love notes in them, others with funny doodles. Sometimes it’s just both of your names written, a little heart in between. 

He rambles a lot. He’s very, very passionate about flying, and about his plane. Though you might not know what he’s talking about, nodding along with a simple smile and asking him a few questions makes him so happy. “Well, no, you see..” And then he goes on and on again. 

At the same time, Maverick can be difficult sometimes. Especially after Goose. Sometimes he feels he needs to be alone, but don’t take it personally. He appreciates your support, but he’s been conditioned to “suck it up and move on.” It weighs on him to have to try, so expect him to be a bit quieter at times, a bit slower. You can sit around with him as he sulks, your head on his shoulder to let him know you need him, and that he’s loved. That he doesn’t have to isolate.

You get to watch him visibly becoming Bradley’s father figure. 

“Hey, about tomorrow’s date. Can I bring the kid?” 

Melting when he’s got Bradley in his lap in front of you, making airplane noises with a french fry to watch Bradley giggle and clap. Your heart swells at how good he is with him.

“Pete.. You can’t take him to watch that movie; it’s not for kids.” His signature grin. “Carole won’t mind.”

-

TG:M

Still sings to you. Or, in general, really. He likes to hum while making you breakfast.

He writes all your dates on his calendar. 

He’s very playful with you. Likes making you double over in laughter because it usually results in you wrapping your arms around him and kissing him.

But he also enjoys when you tease him. Tell him there’s something he can’t do as well as he used to and boy, he will prove you wrong. He insists he’s getting better with age.

He’s still as flirty as ever. Except, you’re already dating, so he does it to watch how flustered you get. He loves making you blush.

He likes pet names. Sweetheart and honey are the ones he calls you the most.

He still does not like proper beach attire. Will roll up his jeans and call it a day.

He loves beach days with you, though. He likes laying back on the sand and watching you sunbathe, or play in the water.

You’re almost scared of phone calls now, with the way you’ve been called and informed of the accidents he’s been in while testing his planes. Though most are minor, you can’t help but worry that the next one might not be.

You’ve cried to him a couple times, making him promise he’ll be careful.

He’s a bigger cuddler at his older age, with the habit of pulling you from where you stand, from whatever you’re doing, and tugging you into bed with him.

He likes it when you play with his hair. It’ll lull him to sleep sometimes. Especially when you gently massage at his scalp, and bonus if you’re giving him kisses too. The fastest way to get him asleep, truly.

Alternatively, he also likes playing with yours. He’ll randomly twirl a strand when you’re in front of him, will tuck another behind your ear, will softly intertwine his fingers in it while you lay on him. 

When he’s able, sleeping in together. As often as he can. 

He notices you so well. If something is bothering you, he’ll make sure to find out what it is. He’s also a very good problem solver (duh, but with mundane things too). You feel like he deals with a lot, so you don’t always take every single one of your problems to him, but boy, when he figures out something is wrong? Expect him to walk you through the simplest of things if that’s what you need. He has an unbelievable amount of patience with you. And if it’s something he can’t help with, he’ll at least want to be there with you as you deal with it. He can be the best listener if you need him to be.

Is a lot more domestic and able to settle down. Likes the idea of having a “home” with you. (Not that he didn’t when he was younger, but he feels more grounded now. More grown up. Able to breathe a bit better.)

He makes your coffee just the way you like it. If he’s up before you, he always wakes you up with it, and a kiss on the forehead.

The days spent in his hangar. 

Sometimes, in the summer, a late night thunderstorm will pass through, and there’s nothing more thrilling than cuddling up to him in the trailer, the both of you giggling at the sound of the rain pattering and the loud cracks of thunder. 

But also the days! Though he’ll be occupied with something, you’re always a mere 10 feet away, reading or sketching or entertaining yourself in whatever way you can. Other times you just watch him work. Other times you ask him to tell you his infamous stories, or about his dad. He’ll have sort of a sad smile as he talks, but you know that he loves talking about the past. You make sure to always make room for it in the tranquility of the desert.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Hi! I see you've been writing some stuff for Tfp humans and because I'm a Tfp human enjoyer I thought I could request something:)) (I personally cannot write so yeahh)

Fell free to do it and feel free to not do it if you don't feel like it :))

So,

How about an AU where June and Fowler (due to some relic to stuff) get aged back to when they were 16/17. They were probably wildly different than their adult versions and seeing kids interact with 80's teenagers would be fun (I personally hc Fowler & June to be in their late 30s like 39 so if Tfp is in 2011 yeah they would be teens in the 80s)

Also,here are some of my personal hcs for teenage June & Fowler which you can use but if you feel like they would be different feel free to do that too :))

Fowler was kinda the high school jock/a chad as one could call it. Also probably smoked even though he was under age lol. Probably a rock fan who plays the guitar to impress girls lol

As for June,I see her to be a rebel who wanted to be in a biker gang/generally into motorcycles. Probably like Miko but more reserved :)).

Also have my teenage Fowler doodle as an add on cause it's relevant

Sorry that the ask is so long btw I feel strongly about tfp humans 😭

Feel free to take anything/nothing into consideration for the main scenario :))

EXCELLENT ART!!! SORRY THIS TOOK TEN BILLION YEARS TO GET TO!!!

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Relics are not known to mess with age. The few that have such properties do little to harm a mech aside from possibly get rid of a beloved mod or engraving. As such, the team left one of their various collected relics just... laying on Ratchet's workbench. It wasn't particularly dangerous, and Optimus's memories of the archives stated that it had slight rejuvenation properties. That was all. It was essentially a small healing device meant to be applied to minor wounds.

But of course, anything minor to Cybertronians tends to be definitively less so to humans.

June and Fowler were left to keep a vague eye on the relic while the team performed other tasks. They chatted and overall relaxed, but at some point, Fowler noticed the relic was a little too close to the edge of the table for his liking. Sure the thing was almost as big as he was, but in his mind, with the help of June, they could push it back onto the table proper and rest easy knowing there would be no surprise clank to startle them or upset Ratchet. Their attempt to be helpful very quickly ended with a flash of light, every living being in the base hurrying toward two sets of screams, and gasps of horror all around.

June and Fowler were younger, WAY younger. Upon analysis, both were in their late teens biologically. Ratchet and Optimus argued over what to do, and upon seeing the relic, the overall consensus was that the two rejuvenated humans would have to remain at base until Ratchet could figure out a way to reverse the effects. It was not ideal, but a few calls later, things were organized enough. The military would cover for the loss of both Agent Fowler and June for the time being, and the team would get to work.

The team got busy and went about their work and June and Fowler stayed put... mostly. Despite having memories and experiences to match their adult selves, both teens had opinions and feelings regarding things. All three of the kids collectively decided they did not in fact enjoy these younger versions of the adults they knew within... about two minutes.

Fowler was a piece of work. He paraded around like he was in charge, but had the unfortunate habit of shoving Jack around for the kick of it. He didn't mean it maliciously, but the constant shoving did get on nerves. It did not help that Fowler used his spare time to work out now that his back was not murdering him every two steps. A definitive six pack most certainly did not endear him to Jack with his twiggy body. Fowler tried to get along with them by playing the adult, but being young again put a certain spring in his step and before long, he was off to cause problems. Lifting weights and wearing absolutely cringe worthy headbands, Fowler took off gleefully. The children avoided him like the plague, especially when he tried to rope them into his terrible 80s workout video exercise routine.

June was arguably worse in that while she wasn't outright cringy, she did have a few... habits. Her haircut was enough for even Miko to look away in shame. June's choice of clothing prompted three in sync face palms. And to add to it, she was absolutely determined to continue being the adult in the room even upon immediately getting distracted with video games and Fowler himself. Her use of 80s slang and her determination to ignore the rules just enough to be annoying quickly got on the nerves of everyone, especially the kids. Don't touch that? Oh she didn't touch it, she just got really REALLY close to it while making direct eye contact. Don't bother Ratchet? Well guess what, Ratchet gets a few dozen questions anyway.

Both were menaces to society just by existing. The team personally didn't mind all that much. What difference did personality shifts in small squishies mean to them? However even Bumblebee cringed internally as he watched the various scenes with the duo play out. Arcee for her part got several pleas from June to let her try Arcee's alt mode. Fowler may or may not have also tried to get Bulkhead to let him use the forklift to play lob ball, kind of.

Chaotic monsters all around.

Jack could do nothing but pray for the team to work quickly for the sake of his sanity. Miko is enough trouble on her own.

[oldwritingm]

can you please do a movie Lloyd X reader basically this takes place after the movie so everyone in Ninjago city knows that Lloyd is the green ninja but back to the plot Lloyd is currently going through the Oni and dragon equivalent of puberty so he is growing 2 new arms, horns, Wings and a tail and the reader always visit and Lloyd is starting to feel insecure so the reader shows Lloyd all the messages on her phone and all of them are from there school saying that Lloyd will always be the city green ninja and so on and Lloyd is happy that everyone will accept him and the reader and Lloyd end up cuddling and then garmadon walks in accidentally and processed to embarrass Lloyd in front of the reader and the reader pushes garmadon out of Lloyd room and the reader locks the door so both the reader and Lloyd can have cuddling in peace and the reader says that she loves him no matter what he will look like

This was so cute,, I had to do a little doodle to go with it

Word count: 978

Ninjago - Comforting (Transforming) Oni Lloyd

“Lloyd?” You knocked on the door softly, your voice low and laced with concern. You waited a few seconds for a response before knocking again. “Lloyd, are you in there?”

“Go home, y/n. I’m alright,” Lloyd finally responded. You knew that tone of voice: something was definitely wrong.

You turned the doorknob. “Lloyd, you can talk to m—” 

You had hardly stepped inside when you were startled by a loud yelp. Lloyd yanked his blankets over his head. “Don’t look at me!” 

You let out a long sigh. You stepped around the messy room like it was a minefield, making your way to his bed. Taking a seat on the corner of the mattress, you gently tugged on the blankets. 

“No,” he protested. “It’s worse.”

You had suspicioned that this had been about the changes Lloyd had been facing recently, and this confirmed it. To be fair, you weren’t sure how you’d take it if you started growing dragon-like features instead of acne and a squeaky voice. Puberty sucked, but you knew it must suck a lot more to be going through this. At least the other teens at your school had the comfort of knowing that they weren’t alone in their experiences, but Lloyd really was all alone on this one. No one else was growing horns. No one else had a tail and wings sticking out of their backs. And no one else was growing so tall so quickly. It really made him stand out; as if he didn’t already receive enough attention as the green ninja.

You pulled harder on the blanket until Lloyd finally assented, allowing you to unveil his curled up form.

Two horns poked out from his blonde locks; bigger than the last time you visited. He was on his side because laying on his back hurt the budding wings on his shoulder blades and the tail springing out from his lower back. They looked odd; small and unshapely, but you knew this was temporary. Frankly, you thought they were looking better every day. But you frowned when you remembered Lloyd’s words. Apparently he didn’t think the same.

“They’re gross, I know.”

“Lloyd,” you sighed, pulling his arm to get him to sit up. “They are not ‘gross’.”

Lloyd’s brows lowered. “Have you even seen these?” He lifted his arms to reveal two nubs, one on either side. Those were new. They would become arms, you assumed.

“I can’t go out like this,” he shook his head.

You almost felt like crying, hearing him say that. But when your phone buzzed, you perked up. You had just the thing to cheer him up.

“Here, look,” you whipped out your phone and opened your messages, handing Lloyd the device. “Just scroll through those.”

Dozens of kids from your school, who you’d never so much as spoken to before, had messaged you when Lloyd didn’t show up to class today:

hey this is random but i know ur friends w lloyd, is he ok? can you please tell him that i think its cool that hes the green ninja plus a dragon or whatever

Do you know why Lloyd didn’t show for class today??? I was gonna ask if I could draw him,,, his horns are so pretty

While he was scrolling, a message popped up at the top of the screen. It was from your group chat with the other ninjas.

JJ: UGHHH I wish I was growing wings

You both giggled. Tapping the message, you told Lloyd to scroll through the last few hours’ chat logs.

JJ: He does realize that being an Oni makes him, like, the ultimate green ninja right

nya: oni or not, he’s the best green ninja ninjago could ask for

The Rock: so true <333

“She’s right, you know,” you said, slinging your arm around his shoulder. “You’re the green ninja—everyone loves you. Oni or not.” You poked his horn, smirking.

That earned you a little smile. His eyes, misty and full of emotion, peered deeply into yours. With a sniffle he threw his arms around you, squeezing you. He started to chuckle, but you could feel teardrops dampening your shirt at the same time. “You’re the best,” he hiccuped out.

You scooted back against the wall, letting Lloyd rest his head on your chest as he leaned into you. You petted his hair while the flow of tears gradually thinned. When his eyes finally dried, you traced patterns on his back, humming softly. Drawing circles around his budding wings, you whispered assurances into his ear. His breathing slowed to match yours, and in the quiet you could almost hear your heartbeats drumming together.

You could have stayed like that for an eternity, but unfortunately, fate, or rather, Garmadon, had other plans.

He burst into the room without warning, driving the souls out of both of your bodies. 

“Lloyd, have you seen…” he stopped mid-sentence when he saw you curled up together.

“Oh,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “my apologies, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“Dad, get out!” Lloyd barked, his face bright red.

“This reminds me of how your mother and I were when we first—”

Lloyd clapped both hands over his face, groaning. You took the hint, hopped up, and shooed Garmadon out the door. “Hang on, I’m telling a story!” He protested as he went, but you shut the door before he could get another word in.

“Make sure it’s locked!” Lloyd ordered, still fuming.

You obeyed. Lloyd stood up and met you in the middle of the room, looking down at you as he pulled you closer. “Where were we?”

“You were being the most lovely green ninja, whom I love no matter what he looks like.”

Lloyd’s cheeks turned pink as he smiled. “Really?”

“Really.” 

You circled your arms around him. You stood just like that, holding each other tightly, swaying a little, enjoying each other’s presence. Uninterrupted this time cough cough

Thank you anon for requesting, and thank you for reading!! Hope you enjoyed! Take care!

(divider by saradika)

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 5/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 8.1k

Masterlist

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: smut (chapter 4 and beyond), language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) I'm sorry that this took so long! I had majority written for awhile but it just didn't feel right. I'm not even sure if it finally does but I'm going with it!

× Chapter Warnings!: smut (oral - m receiving), language, talks of mental illness, drinking.

Happy reading! xoxo

SPRING 2016

PERSEPHONE

“What are you doing?”

Noah yawned out his words as he stirred in bed, an inked hand lifting to scratch at his chest. She didn't even look up from the little comic-like scene she had been doodling - this being what she had chosen to throw herself into hours ago when she couldn't sleep and needed a distraction. 

Sleep. What a foreign thing that was to her nowadays. It infuriated her beyond belief, much more than anyone around her could've guessed. Seph had taken to not talking much about the issues she was having because she knew Noah would only fixate on them and try to help. And while she appreciated his attempts, she couldn't stop herself from wondering if they were doing more harm than good. 

Maybe their lack of full on intimacy didn't sound like a huge deal, but to her, it was making her lose her mind. Although, not because she was aching for it (even if she was); this was more so due to all the thoughts it was causing her to have. The worries. The overthinking. It was becoming almost unbearable up in her brain. 

“Hmm?” Noah hummed curiously when she didn't yet give a response. 

“Just some drawing.” 

Seph allowed her eyes to flicker up to him, a slight smile being forced across her lips. She was sure he wouldn't believe it, but she didn't have it in her to dwell on that right then. 

“Did you have breakfast?”

Jesus fucking Christ. Why couldn't he ever stop? 

It's not his fault. Don't take it out on him. 

“Yeah, I made some peanut butter toast awhile ago.”

A small lie, although not completely. She had made said toast, but unfortunately, she only took a single bite of it before the texture assaulted her senses and she had to swallow it down with the help of a leftover Sprite in the fridge. No idea who it belonged to, but it was flat as hell. 

Noah nodded, again yawning as he shifted onto his side to face her. A long arm snaked around her waist and gave a firm tug, forcing her to set her sketchbook aside so she could be pulled into his warmth without issue. Now that his chest was pressed into her back, he nuzzled into the crook of her neck and released a sigh of content. 

If only she could feel as carefree as he did right then. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, I'm good,” she softly spoke, fingertips trailing along the top of his hand that closed around her. 

“Just tired because I didn't sleep well.” Seph elaborated a bit, just so Noah wouldn't further worry about her. If she blamed it all on being tired, then there would be no issue, right? 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured against her skin. 

“We gotta shoot that video today, so I'll be gone for a bit. Did you want to come?”

Aka 'do you need a babysitter?’

Seph forced those thoughts to pause. She couldn't assume this is what Noah meant all because he was asking if she wanted to tag along. Who's to say he didn't actually want her there? 

Adjusting within his arms, she angled herself back a bit so she could see his face. She then smiled and shook her head, just before placing a light kiss to his awaiting mouth. Morning Noah was always the most adorable to her. His heavy lidded eyes and pouty lips were something she could stare at all day if given the option. 

“I have therapy, so I can't. You need some time with the guys without me cramping your style, anyway.” 

Noah rolled his eyes and tightened the hold he had on her body, his face then burying back into her neck where he began to lightly kiss a couple of times. 

“You give us our style. You know that.” 

Slender fingers slithered along her side, dropping over the curve of her hip before managing to slip beneath the fabric of the t-shirt she wore. Noah rubbed gentle circles into her skin, this soft sensation causing her eyes to flutter closed and her lips to part to allow a small exhale through. 

No, she couldn't let herself fall victim to this again because she knew exactly how it would end. Since Noah struggled to keep his hands off of her, he would either continue to caress her body until she made the move to progress further, which he would reject in his own way. Or he would sink his fingers between her thighs, quickly get her off, then carry on as if he wasn't hard and pressed into her lower back. 

While the latter option sounded far better, both actually sucked. 

“Is everyone coming back here tonight?” She figured changing the subject and focusing on something else would help distract not only her mind, but also those damned fingers of his. 

Noah made a small sound that told her yes, nodding slightly. 

“It'll be another not so chill night.”

There was a disdain in his voice that she hadn't been expecting. Did he not like when everyone piled into his shared place for a night of drinking and nonsense? 

Reaching for his hand to stop him from taking things further, she laced their fingers together and folded their now intertwined digits into her chest. 

“At least you'll have me there,” she shrugged. 

× × ×

“Persephone…if we adjust your medications again, this will be the third time within a year. In my professional opinion, I don't think you're really giving them a chance.”

Professional. Right. What a jackass. 

This was the statement that finally broke her that day. Her shoulders dropped and her head bowed, heavy sobs immediately beginning to escape her. A hand lifted to cover her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sounds, though she knew the older man wasn't so blind that he hadn't witnessed her oncoming break. 

“You don't get it. No one gets it.” She choked out while tugging down the sleeve of her (Noah’s) hoodie so she could wipe beneath her nose. 

“I hate the way all of the meds have made me. I'm not myself. I don't feel normal. I mean…who I was before wasn't so great, considering, but at least then I felt something that wasn't just…emptiness and anger and this sadness that's been eating away at me.”

Trembling hands cradled her face after dropping it into her palms, the tears not yet ceasing. It felt like a dam had broken within her - or maybe it was just a patch. Something told her this wasn't the breakdown she had brewing inside.

“I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even enjoy my time with the guy I fucking lo-” she paused before finishing the sentence, cutting herself off with a shake of her head. 

Nope. She wasn't going to admit that for the first time to her goddamn therapist. 

Seph took in a deep breath as she wiped the tears from beneath her eyes. She was hoping she could get herself together now, though mostly because she didn't want to return to the public with red and puffy eyes. 

“Maybe I'm just better without the meds. Is that an option? Things in my life are different now, right? So maybe the changes will help me stay level headed. I just need to feel like myself again.” 

“No.” The man was quick to respond. “Stopping medications abruptly is never suggested and you know this. It could make your negative feelings worse, as well as become more physical ailments, too.”

He deeply sighed as he looked at her across the room. It was clear to her that he was at a loss for words, though she wasn't surprised. It's the same expression she received time and time again from every therapist who was unlucky enough to have her land in their lap. Seph knew she wasn't that much of a handful, especially not in comparison to other people in the world. She was just…frustrating. Possibly even incapable of receiving help because she wasn't willing to open up to it. Or whatever the fuck her last therapist had told her parents. 

It was all bullshit either way. 

× × ×

Against her therapist’s better judgment, and possibly even her own, Seph had decided on her way back to Noah's after her appointment that she was going to put her medications to rest. She wasn't going to be so irresponsible as to quit them cold turkey, but tapering herself off was definitely in the works. Any of the effects she may experience couldn't be nearly as bad as how she was currently feeling on a day to day basis. This is what she told herself to justify the decision. 

Merely having put this plan into action was already lifting her spirits. She felt happier, lighter in her steps. Maybe even excited for the night that lied ahead? While parties used to be her cup of tea, it should come as no surprise that she wasn't as lively at them as she once had been. 

Not this time. She thought to herself while getting ready that evening. She was going to be the old Seph that night even if it killed her. 

High waisted shorts that were cut entirely too short in the back? Check. Random t-shirt of Noah’s that she had tied and tucked up at her waist? Check. Secret vodka shots that were taken before the guys arrived back? Double check. 

“You seem to be in a good mood.” Noah mused as he approached her a little later that night. “Therapy go well?”

Seph peered up at him, a grin manifesting over her lips. She assumed he didn't think anything of the cup in her hand that was a mixture of fruit punch and vodka, since the red juice was typically being had by her during any of their parties. Why would he suspect the second ingredient now? 

“It was fine, but we can talk about it tomorrow.” A wave of her hand brushed the topic away. She didn't want to dwell on something like that right then when she was supposed to be having fun, especially when she knew telling Noah about her session and her decision afterwards would put a stop to all the said fun. 

With her cup clutched securely in her hand, she took a step closer to Noah so her arms could link around his waist. Her body pressed firm into his now that her head angled up and her chin could prop against his chest, just so she could get a clear view of his face. 

“What are you doing?” Noah chuckled, a hand of his own rubbing along her back so she knew her sudden affection was welcomed despite the people. 

“Nothin’, I just missed you.” 

Wasn't it funny how she had once been worried about what people would think of her for cozying up with someone like Noah? And now, not only could she not care less about what others thought, she was actually pretty happy to be with him. 

When happiness could be felt. 

Not to mention the night and day difference Noah was to Mason. Her ex would always act embarrassed when she was a little more affectionate and craving his attention, even more so when others were around. But Noah? He leaned into it and gave it right back, sometimes tenfold. 

“How was the video shoot?” 

“Uh…” Noah shrugged, his other hand bringing his beer up for a swallow as the one still caressed along her back. “It went okay. Some creative differences but that's to be expected.” 

At this point in their relationship, Seph believed she knew Noah pretty well. She could tell when he was lying, or at least withholding things from her, and this was one of those times. Not even her vodka goggles could make her blind to it. 

“That doesn't sound too good…” The words were mumbled against his mouth after she had pushed up onto her tip toes to press her lips to his. While the initial kiss only lasted a second or so, Seph couldn't stop herself from leaning in for another, this one lingering for longer. 

How could it not when he always tasted so damn good? Still, she made a mental note to ask him more about the video shoot later. 

“Hey! We're gearing up for beer pong!” 

Folio’s voice cut through the little bubble they had placed themselves in which unfortunately forced Noah to pull back from her a bit. He looked off to the side where his bandmate was shuffling away, giving him a nod and a wave of his hand as a signal that he understood. 

Seph huffed, the pout obvious on her lips from the lack of connection. She so badly wanted to be as close as humanly possible to him, more so than usual. It was hard to tell if Noah shared the same desire, though. Things had been so off with him lately, as well as herself, that it was impossible to know for sure. Obviously she had yet to take Nick’s advice and actually talk to Noah about it. 

“I'm gonna run to the bathroom and then we're getting in on that game.” Noah tilted his head back to finish off what remained of his beer. 

“You're on my team, by the way, since you're oddly good at it…” 

Eying her suspiciously, Noah began to take slow steps backwards until her hand slipped from his. Seph could only laugh and roll her eyes at him, knowing damn well she had explained to him before that she had been playing beer pong almost religiously since she was thirteen. So, of course she was good at it. 

Once he rounded the corner down the hallway, she took in a deep breath, her smile falling. Her frustrations were really beginning to grow and that worried her. How much longer until she outright exploded? 

Goddammit. She couldn't keep letting her inner most thoughts drift to these things. This was supposed to be her fun night. Not her 'dwell on whether or not Noah is over me’ night. 

With pursed lips she glanced in the direction of the hallway he had sauntered down mere seconds ago. No…she shouldn't…right? 

Seph refused to think about it for too long. After all, she had vowed to act like her old self. The version of her that was all for taking chances and doing things that were probably pretty dumb. This little idea definitely fit the criteria. 

After finishing off the remnants of her drink, she found herself following the same path Noah had taken. It was mostly empty in this area of the house now because the other party-goers were either outside or joining in on the commotion in the kitchen and dining room. As she approached the bathroom, she heard the toilet flush and then the sink turn on, which didn't give her much time to back out if she chose to. 

Oh, hell. Why was she so nervous anyway? Noah was basically her boyfriend (relationship defining conversation still pending) and this is the sort of thing they did. What's the worst that could happen?  

Well…he could completely reject her…that was always likely…

Thankfully, the bathroom door opened before she could think any harder on that pesky thought. Noah appeared slightly shocked to see her standing there, though she barely had time to register his expression shift before she was closing the space between them and pushing him back into the bathroom with the force of her body colliding with his. 

“Seph-”

She cut him off after nudging the door closed with her elbow, a hand grabbing the back of his head and pulling his lips down to hers. His own hands were quick to find her waist, firmly clutching at her bare skin and pulling her in closer against him. 

Good. This was the sort of reaction she was looking for. 

Seph tightly grasped his hair between her fingers as she moaned into the kiss, letting him know exactly what she was angling towards. Noah seemed to be accepting of it by the way he guided her back into the wall and then used a singular hand to pin her wrists up above her head. She could already feel the bulge beginning to form in his jeans - and this made her so ecstatic that she barely knew how to contain herself. 

Fuck, she just knew she was about to cum so hard. 

“I don't know what's gotten into you…” he breathed across her skin while biting a trail down her jaw and neck, his free hand dragging along her waist. “But it's fucking hot.” 

Noah pressed himself between her thighs and tightened the grip he had on her wrists, though only for a brief moment before releasing them. Oh, so he found it hot when she took the lead? Noted. 

“Only thing I need getting into me right now is your dick.” 

Seph didn't care how ridiculous that sounded because not only was her brain foggy with only her desire for Noah, but she was also pretty buzzed from the shots and her mixed drink. Not drinking for a year was really getting the best of her. 

The moment her hands were free, they dropped to begin working on the irritating button and zipper of his jeans. Her lips worked skillfully over his as they engaged in another heated kiss; tongues massaged together, moans mixing, both of their primal needs for the other heightening in sync. Noah’s hands were in her hair and then feeling along her body, grabbing and touching at every bit of her that he could. She didn't even care when he drunkenly pulled too hard on her necklace by accident, almost ripping it off in the process. Thankfully the chain remained secure. 

“I knew you'd be hard for me already…” she taunted after slipping her fingers beneath the band of his boxers and feeling for herself just how hard he actually was. The answer: hard enough for his cock to pulse at the first graze of her fingers. 

A few steps forward and she had backed him up to the counter, all while she simultaneously pushed his boxers down and tugged his cock free. Seph looked up at him with a devilish smirk as her thumb grazed along the tip, this slight motion causing his hips to jerk forward and his hands to clutch the counter tight enough that his knuckles turned white. 

“Fuck,” Noah groaned. The sound of his breathing was already picking up despite her having just secured her fingers around his thick cock, slowly pumping along every inch. 

It was the expressions he made that she really liked watching - which now helped her realize why Noah also liked looking up at her as he was eating her out. Being able to see the other person coming undone more and more with every passing second was euphoric all on its own. His eyes closed and his jaw clenched, lips briefly folding in before another moan erupted from his chest. Of course just her simply jerking him off was going to be a show for her - it had been forever since he let her even touch him below the waist last. 

Seph picked up her pace, the grip she had tightening every time her hand would twist up towards the top. She noticed how he was trying his best to stop himself from thrusting forward into her palm, and while she wanted to call him out for it, she decided against it because she knew he wouldn't be able to hold back once she was on her knees. 

Speaking of - that's exactly where she had ended up. 

Heavy lidded eyes stared down at her now, his fingers helping with moving her hair out of her face and gathering it back in a makeshift ponytail. Seph smiled up at him just as she gripped the base of his cock and secured her plump lips around the tip, her tongue swirling around and gathering the bead of moisture that had already appeared. 

Noah did a sharp inhale, and she could feel the way his body tensed while she had him in such a vulnerable position. Since she didn't get to blow him often, she definitely liked to make the most of it. After taking in a deep breath of her own through her nose, her tongue laid against the underside of his cock, her head beginning its tortuously slow bob to take him in inch by inch. 

“Goddamn, Seph,” Noah cursed above her, “your mouth…”

There was no way he was able to finish the statement once she was swallowing his cock down at a faster pace, bringing him as far back to her throat as she could. Her new motions quite the contrast to how she had just been teasing him only seconds ago. Noah’s grip of her hair tightened so he could help guide her, a bit of force being applied in an attempt to push her deeper. 

“Lift your shirt up,” he then demanded, which she quickly obeyed by hauling the t-shirt up to rest on the top of her chest. 

Noah’s eyes focused on her chest, watching as she used one hand to massage her breasts from over her bra, the other still holding firm to his cock. She could see his eyes bouncing back and forth between her chest and the sight of most of his cock disappearing past her lips, since she was still trying her best to keep her sights set on him. 

A low groan escaped him, his hips thrusting forward to further feel more of her mouth. “You're so fucking hot.”

Seph then took it upon herself to tug down the cups of the bralette she wore, baring her chest to him. If his pupils weren't blown before then they definitely were now as he watched her play with herself, both for his entertainment and also to help relieve some of the tension she was feeling. 

Unfortunately, her dream of cumming hard was not in the works of coming true. 

“Dude, what the fuck are you-”

“Fuck! Folio! Get out!” 

Suddenly she was forced to the side and her mouth emptied as he pulled back, Noah’s body turning to shield not only himself, but also her from the intruder. 

“Shitshitshit! Dude! I'm sorry!” 

Seph was quickly trying to pull her shirt down after she had dropped to her bottom on the bathroom floor, while also attempting to see around Noah so that Folio could catch a glimpse of her glare. 

“Shut the fucking door! No! Get out and then shut the door!”

She had been so goddamn close to getting what she wanted. There was no way Noah would've let them exit the bathroom without first making her cum around his cock, but now either of them getting off was a thing of the past. 

“You live here! You have a bedroom!” Folio yelled from the other side of the door, prompting both her and Noah to simultaneously yell for him to ‘fuck off’ - a few other profanities and choice words also added into the mix. 

Seph groaned in annoyance as she continued to work at adjusting her bra and then tying the shirt up at her waist again. When she looked up, Noah had already stuffed himself back into his jeans - albeit a little uncomfortably - and was now extending a hand out to her. 

“I'm pissed,” she exclaimed after taking his hand and pulling herself to her feet with his assistance. Noah heavily sighed, his eyes still focused on her. He began to smooth his hands over her hair, gently tucking strands back behind her ear while nodding in agreement. 

“I'm more pissed that Folio might've seen your tits.” 

A pout and a whine took over her, though Noah only chuckled and pulled her into his chest where she could bury her face for a moment. 

“Don't worry. I'll kick his ass if he says anything about your tits. I already know they're amazing, no one else needs to.” 

“Not funny!” She huffed, the back of her hand lightly smacking against his shoulder. 

“I would see if you wanted to continue, but uh…” he looked down between them, his brows pulling together as if he was concentrating. After a few seconds, Noah released an exasperated sigh and shook his head. “I think the moment is gone…seeing Folio’s dumbass face makes it impossible to stay hard.” 

The moment was so gone that they had no choice but to slyly join the party again. Seph was crossing her fingers that Folio hadn't opened his big mouth to anyone about what he just walked in on, but by the look Alexa gave her, she knew how unlikely that was. 

Thankfully, nothing was said. A few sideways glances weren't going to get her all riled up, not when all of her unhappy feelings were still currently being directed at Folio. She glared at him from over the brim of her cup, though he was none the wiser. Noah, on the other hand, noticed each and every time. Seph could hear his subtle chuckle accompanied by his hand gliding along her lower back as if that would be enough to calm her. It was…kind of…but not fully. 

“Are you drinking?” Noah had bent down so his lips were at her ear, allowing her to clearly hear his inquiry over the sound of mindless chatter around them. 

Uh oh, she had been caught. 

Seph contemplated her response, though she eventually landed on simply nodding. Lying about it definitely wouldn't have been a good idea. If Noah was asking, then that meant he already knew she was. Huh…wonder what it could've been to give her away. 

“Yeah…” she glanced down to her drink, then back up to his eyes that had focused on her with quite a bit of intent. “It was a not so great session, okay? I just wanted to unwind. It's the first time in a year, I swear.” 

A smile then pulled up on his lips and he laughed, head slightly shaking. 

“Seph…Seph…stop. It's okay. I was only asking so I'd know. You know your limits, not me.” 

To further prove that he wasn't upset, Noah lightly held her chin between his fingers and met her halfway for a chaste kiss. As they parted, his arm slung across her shoulders, keeping her pulled in close against him. 

“Never Have I Ever!” Alexa suddenly interjected despite whatever conversations were happening. 

The mention of the game made Jolly groan, his eyes, along with a few others, rolling at the suggestion. 

“Oh, fuck off, you big babies. It's fun! No topics off limits, yeah?” The other girl continued with an animated wiggle of her eyebrows, five fingers now being held up. “And we didn't have enough cups left for beer pong so you get what you get.” 

The remainder of the people around the kitchen island begrudgingly followed suit until they all had a hand up, long swallows of their drinks already being taken before the game even began. 

“That's only four fingers…” she called out to Nicholas, whose brows furrowed as his eyes attempted to focus on his right hand.

Oh, someone had definitely had a bit too much to drink. 

“Ah, shit.” He laughed, only to add the fifth finger to stand with the others. “That's my bad.”

“I'll start!” Alexa further announced while her eyes danced around the people before eventually landing on her. She grinned, already erupting into a small fit of laughter. 

“Never have I ever…been to Sweden.”

Seph narrowed her eyes, though opted to lower a finger for no other reason but to play into the joke. At this point, why the hell not?

“Very funny, you bitch.” She grumbled behind her cup, taking a swallow from the sickeningly sweet concoction. 

The only other person to not have five fingers up was Jolly, and he still appeared very lost and confused by the joke exchanged. 

No, she wasn't actually mad about her Sweden trip being brought up, but Noah still gave the back of her neck a reassuring squeeze when his touch traveled down along her back and then up again. The way he was always touching her definitely didn't help the need she still had for him, although she wasn't going to complain. What she was going to do was squeeze her thighs together to hopefully relieve the slightest bit of tension. 

It sure as fuck didn't work. 

As the game began to slide into a full swing, Seph quickly realized that people were playing rather dirty and purposely singling others out. She should've known this by the opening statement being about her, but she had figured that was just Alexa being…well…Alexa. 

During the game, Seph had told herself not to look at the number of fingers Noah had up, or which he had lowered for. She didn't want to know, especially when the questions were geared more towards the sexual side of things. Unfortunately, when she accidentally caught a glimpse of his two fingers up compared to her four that remained, her mind began to wander. 

Which had he lowered for? 

Oh god…it hadn't been the threesome related statement, right? 

Seph was sure he also hadn't lowered when someone drunkenly muttered incoherent words about having sex with more than two people in a night…right? 

Fuck, she was going to be sick. 

“Never have I ever acted like a complete diva on a video shoot.” 

Wait, what? 

Seph’s eyes quickly drifted to the direction of the voice before realizing the words had been spoken by Nick. He was staring dead at Noah, no laughter or the slightest hint of a smile to be seen. Well…this surely wasn't the Nick she was used to. 

That didn't stop Noah from dropping a finger, leaving him with only one. That one was switched to his middle finger, it now being directed to Nick. 

Before she had a chance to question what Nick was talking about, Noah’s voice cut through the silence that had fallen upon the group. 

“Never have I ever told Folio that I think my best friend’s girlfriend is hot.” 

“Okay, what's happening?” Seph pulled back from Noah a bit so she could look back and forth between both him and Nick. Neither responded, or really even paid her any mind, for they were practically glaring at each other. 

“I mean…Seph is pretty hot…” Alexa nervously murmured to cut the tension. 

“Never have I ever been caught by Folio getting blown by my girlfriend!” 

Jolly laughed, pointing to Folio who was appearing as if he wanted to just curl up and die right then. “Bro, you got a big fucking mouth.” 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, guys! Get some drinks in me and I just start saying things. It's not done on pur-”

Alexa gave his arm a tug to silence him, her head shaking. Yeah, they all knew this wasn't the time for explanations. 

“What is going on?! I really just need someone to fill me in on what I missed because-”

“Never have I ever rejected my girlfriend's advances for sex for over two weeks!” Nick continued despite it not being his turn technically, but it was safe to assume all cordial game play had already gone right out the window. 

Nick’s exclamation was loud enough to cover her own protests and demands for them to cut it out. She abruptly stopped talking, her eyes going wide, the entirety of her body freezing. 

But wait, did they keep saying girlfriend? Okay, now wasn't the time to dwell on that. 

“Oh shit…” Alexa whispered in shock at the outcome of her request to play the juvenile game. 

The way Noah tensed beside her was painfully obvious. She was far too scared to look over at him, knowing damn well he would be wearing an expression that screamed how hurt and furious he was. 

“Nick!” Seph hissed. 

It was like her saying his name had brought him back down to Earth, because he blinked a couple of times and then looked at her. His eyes also went wide to match her own and that's when she knew Nick had no idea he had even just yelled that until the reality of it came toppling down onto him. 

“You told him that?”

Noah’s voice had softened, yet there was still an edge to it; and fuck, was it sharp. 

That was when she finally mustered enough courage to tilt her head up, their eyes meeting. She tried to speak but no words would come out, nothing more beyond a couple of syllables that meant absolutely nothing.  

“No, Noah, I- I mean yes, I did, but I just needed someone to tal…can we talk about this in private?” 

“Nah, you want to talk about our private business to Nick every chance you get, so why don't we let everyone listen in too?” 

“It's not like that!” She quickly protested, her head shaking back and forth.

“He’s my best friend, Seph!”

“He's my friend too! I just didn't have anyone else I could talk to and he's always been able to give me decent advice and-”

“Was it Nick’s decent advice that told you to throw yourself at me in the bathroom?” 

This was the moment when people began to clear out. Of course they wanted to linger and listen to the fight, but everyone was smart enough to know better. For the most part, at least. Before she knew it, only her, Noah, and Nick remained in the kitchen. 

“What?” Her face contorted in confusion, very much lost by the question. “No! That's not…no.”

“Don't worry about it. I'll go ahead to my room and you two can gossip a bit more.” 

Much to his dismay, or so she could assume, she wasn't going to let it drop like that. Instead, she was right on his heels, following him back to his bedroom. Nick was calling out behind them, though neither stopped to figure out what he was saying. 

“Noah…” she softly spoke his name after closing the bedroom door, hesitant steps then being taken closer to where he stood. 

“Do you really want to know why we haven't had sex?” A hand was held up that silently signaled for her to stop progressing forward, which she obeyed, swaying body and all. 

“It's because you aren't attracted to me anymore, right?” Maybe Noah’s question had been rhetorical, but her drunken brain was always going to get the best of her. 

“Because you want someone with more experience or someone with less issues or someone who-” her voice was cracking and wavering as she spoke, the tears welling in her eyes threatening to fall over. 

Never before had she been so thankful for Noah cutting her off. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Seph, stop. Listen to me.” Noah moved towards her, his inked digits grasping onto her shoulders so she had no choice but to stare straight at him. There was a deep breath that he exhaled, and Seph could tell that he was now struggling to find the words of his own. 

“When I look at you…I just want to fuck the absolute shit out of you. I want you begging and taking it and making those specific little moans that you do when you're really into it.” Noah paused and took a deep breath as if simply saying the words was too much for him to admit. Vulnerability wasn't something he did well. 

“But then at the same time I also just want to hold you as close as possible and make sure you're okay.” His voice softened now, just as his hands released the grip on her shoulders so he could instead slowly rub along her arms.  

“I have to know that you're okay, Seph, and that will always trump my physical needs.”

Now, why the hell couldn't he have said these things to her when they were both sober and shit hadn't just hit the fan? Why did a big explosion have to happen before he would express the deeper side of emotions to her? 

“And lately, I just…I can tell you're not okay. I've tried to get you to talk to me about it but you've been closed off, and I know you're annoyed with my questions all the time but I have to be able to say that I did everything I could to help.”

After a brief shift in his expression, Noah dropped his hands from her arms and took a step back. Maybe he had just remembered that he was mad at her and he needed to act accordingly. Or maybe he felt awkward since she had yet to say anything back to him. 

Oh, right, she did need to actually open her mouth…

“I never asked you to do that for me.”

Wait, no. She was supposed to say something nice! What the fuck was that?

Noah appeared both perplexed and offended by how she chose to respond. If he was trying to figure out why she had said that, then hopefully he’d be able to fill her in once he stumbled upon a conclusion. Not even she knew why. 

“You're unbelievable. What were you expecting me to do?” He breathed out a laugh of disbelief with a hint of annoyance - both completely understandable to be feeling right then. “Stand back and watch as you fade away to nothing? Literally and figuratively.” 

“No, no, that's not what I meant. I don't know why I said that.”

Seph lifted her hands to her head to press against her temples. A headache was slowly creeping up, though she wasn't sure if it was a response to her drinking or the stressful night they were experiencing. 

“Then what did you mean, Seph? I'd really like to know.” 

With her eyes closed and her fingers rubbing slow circles around her temples, she still somehow managed to shake her head and heavily exhale. There was too much going on her mind right then; focusing on one singular thought was proving to be harder and harder. 

“I don't know. I…fuck.” 

Noah dropped his hands to his sides in a dramatic smack and then rubbed over his own face, his form shifting back a few more steps away from her. He was aggravated. She would know this in any mental state. It didn't matter how hazy her mind was. 

“It doesn't make sense, okay? Like…why? Why would you think constantly rejecting me would be helping me?” 

“Because I didn't want you to use us having sex as an outlet!” 

“Oh, I wasn't allowed to have a few minutes of happiness and actually feel something because you were worried I'd…what? Rely on it? Become addicted? Constantly need to sit on your dick?”

“It's longer than a few minutes…” he grumbled. 

“That wasn't a fucking dig at you, Noah!” She groaned in frustration. To say that she was annoyed by his childish comment would've been an understatement. Of course that's what he would choose to latch onto. 

“Also, what guy doesn't want their girlfriend, or whatever, to be on their dick all the time?”

Wasn't that supposed to be the male dream or something like that? 

Those thoughts pushed aside, Seph and Noah stared silently at each other. She could see all the thoughts running through his mind, just as she assumed he could see the same for her. There was a lot she wanted to say, but none of it seemed like it would sound right. It wouldn't feel right. This was obviously a conversation they should be having when sober. 

But was that going to stop her? Probably not. 

“I know you were coming from a good place, okay, I get that. But…fuck…you don't understand how doing that made me feel absolutely terrible. Like something was wrong with me because why else would you be rejecting my advances?” There was another crack in her voice as she tried her best to explain her feelings, though that wasn't very easy to put into words. They both struggled with emoting verbally - if that wasn't already painfully obvious. 

“I needed you to be my boyfriend, Noah. Not my dad or my doctor. Or whatever you are, I don't know.” 

“You don't know? The fuck does that mean? What are you talking about?” 

Seph shrugged as she dropped her eyes down, a thumb now at her mouth for her to nervously chew on her cuticles. 

“You don't know if we're together or not?” 

There was now silence coming from her, this being enough of a response to tell Noah that yes, she didn't know. Or maybe she did? It was all very complicated and she was having an increasingly hard time wrapping her head around it. 

“Christ, Seph, of course we are. Why- what even makes you think we aren't?”

Well, now she definitely felt silly and possibly even a little bit ridiculous. She glanced up to look at Noah from beneath her lashes, her shoulder relaying another small shrug. 

“We've never really talked about it…so I didn't know…”

“You practically live here! In this room! With me! We hold hands, we cook for each other, we sleep in the same bed, we…do other things in bed!” 

Seph wanted to remind him that they rarely did other things in bed as of lately, but she figured he already had to know this. It's what had spawned the entire argument to begin with. 

“Well, I don't know, Noah! I'm not here every night so I don't know what you do or with who!”

Noah definitely looked offended now. Oops. 

“And you're about to leave for tour! Maybe you don't want anything serious before then so you can just…do whatever while you're gone!” 

The words were flowing from her at a rapid pace. Word vomit as people liked to call it. 

“You'll be meeting all these new people and seeing new faces and making new fun memories! While I'm sitting back here in Richm-”

“Then come with us!”

Seph abruptly halted her word vomit so she could process what he had just said. Her brows knitted together in confusion, a deep breath then being taken. 

“What?”

“Come with us on tour,” he repeated. 

“It's just a van, so it'll be cramped and we’ll be in shitty motels, and the food will be from wherever we pass, and I can't promise it'll always smell the best with all the other guys, but I want you to come.” 

More silence from her. Noah’s words kept repeating in her head as she dissected them piece by piece, looking for any evidence that pointed towards him just offering this to shut her up for the night. 

Almost as if Noah could sense this, he took a step closer to her, a hand reaching out to lightly rub along the back of her arm. 

“I've been wanting to ask you but I was worried that maybe it wouldn't be what's best for you right now. I was being your doctor and not your boyfriend…I can see that.” 

The hand on her elbow tightened so he could pull her into him, both of his long arms then securing around her to keep her close against his chest. Seph instinctively circled her own arms around his waist, face buried into him as he planted a kiss to the top of her head. 

This was where she felt the most comfortable. Her happy place. 

“Okay,” she finally murmured. The word was muffled but she knew Noah heard her by the way his arms tightened even more around her body. 

“Okay?” He repeated, clearly wanting her to elaborate even though he knew and she knew that he knew. 

“Okay, I'll go with you.” 

× × ×

REWIND: THE HILL'S GARDEN PARTY

NOAH

“I’m going to go grab some things real quick since we’re here, okay? It'll only take a couple of minutes.” 

Noah wanted to protest because that meant he would be left alone with the wolves, but he smiled and gave her a nod. She was already leaning in close to kiss him, which he would've been crazy to deny, and even crazier to ruin with his childish pout. 

Only when Seph disappeared into her house did he finally tear his gaze away from where she had been. He took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, his eyes now drifting around to briefly study the faces of those around him. Some were still glancing his way but most had taken to acting like he wasn't even there. If they were friends with Seph's dad then he was sure only the nicest of things had been said about him. 

“Enjoying the party?”

Noah turned to see the devil himself approaching, a polite but slightly sinister smile taking residence on his face. There wasn't much that he was scared of but this man…he truly made his insides churn. 

“Can't really say it's my style,” he attempted to joke, a nervous laugh to follow. 

Mr. Hill only held his gaze even as he took a swallow from his drink. “I won't disagree with you.” 

“Listen…” his heavy hand laid against the back of Noah’s shoulder to guide him to the side, away from prying ears but not so distant that people would grow curious. “I thought you and I had come to an understanding.” 

Noah’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, his jaw tightening and heart rate immediately picking up. 

“So, why are you here? And why is my daughter still parading around with you?” 

Silence was the only answer he could give. Back when Seph was away in Sweden, her dad had paid him a visit. Their conversation was mostly about the video circulating thanks to Maisie, but it had transitioned to the typical ‘stay away from my daughter’ monologue. Noah had only agreed so that the man would get out of his face. There was no intention to actually follow through with the empty promise, not until her dad 'sweetened the deal'. Initially he had denied all bribes but after the guys heard what the man was offering…

“I gave you the money to pay for that van your little band needed. I talked to my buddy who cut you the deal of a lifetime on your house. I held up my end of the bargain, so why haven't you? Are you not a man of your word, Noah?” 

Just hearing the things he had agreed to made him sick. There was a sting of acid in the back of his throat and he truly considered vomiting on Mr. Hill right then. Noah managed to swallow it down but only because he knew the man's suit cost more than his monthly mortgage. 

Despite Noah's silence, Seph’s dad could somehow read every thought he was having. He lowly chuckled, the grip on Noah’s shoulder briefly tightening. 

“Whatever you're thinking right now, go ahead and shove it all away. What you two have isn't love.” He grimaced through the last word. “It's fascination, rebellion, boredom.” 

“You don't know anything about what Seph and I have,” Noah finally spoke through gritted teeth. “If I could give you back every dime right now, I would. None of that stuff is more important than Seph.”

“No? Then why don't you go on and tell her? Let's find out from Persephone what's important.”

Noah shrugged the older man's hand from his shoulder, although in an indiscreet way that wouldn't draw the eye of others. He took in a sharp breath to attempt calming his nerves before shaking his head to the idiotic suggestion. 

“You want her to know even less than I do because you know it won't only be me she writes off.” Noah shared an intense glare with Mr. Hill, one that his wife must've noticed because she was soon approaching the pair and attempting to diffuse the conversation with a smile and quickly strung together lies. 

“Noah, it really was great to see you again,” Marilyn dramatically gushed while brushing a piece of invisible lint from her husband’s shoulder. “Dear, I think I just heard Bannon mention something about being in the market for a new office building?” 

With a tilt of his head, the man finished his drink and then pushed the empty glass into Noah’s chest for him to discard as if he was nothing more than the hired help.

“Davis,” he grumbled out his departure mere moments before Seph reappeared looking flushed but eager to leave. 

[notrecommendedforlife-blog]

the stars where we’re livin’

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

It took a week for Clay to finally calm down enough to return to their pod

(Clay takes care of Branch AU)

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

Chapter 1: Returning Home

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

First chapter of this story! I’m going to be posting it on ao3 under the same name <3

(also @elijah-doodle :P)

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

After spending the week at a friend's pod, Clay was calm enough to return home.

Upon entering the pod, he was shocked to see his Grandma sitting on the couch looking haggard and tired; her mint hair in disarray, deep bags under her eyes, and a frown pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Grandma?” Clay hesitantly whispers, flinching back when she springs up at his voice. He’s even more shocked when tears fill her eyes as she rushes forward to pull him into a hug.

“Clay, baby- my baby,” Grandma Ro murmurs into his hair, squeezing him as close as she can. Feeling the way she shakes, Clay wraps his arms around her. 

Soon, she leans back, keeping one paw on his shoulder while the other cups his face. Mint eyes check him over, tears steadily falling down her face. She lets out a relieved sob, causing him to panic and throw his arms back around her, which prompts Grandma Ro to let out all of the tears she’s been trying to hold back.

Eventually, the sobs come to a gradual stop and, even though Clay feels uncomfortable with all the moisture accumulating in his hair, Clay guides her back to the couch. Grandma Ro keeps her paws wrapped tightly around one of Clay’s own like she’s afraid to let go.

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” Clay says, unsure where to go after that.

Usually, when he and his brothers have huge fights that lead to them walking out of the pod, Clay will spend a day or two at a friend's. But this time, with the first show of the tour, the “Perfect Family Harmony”, quitting the band, and a bunch of tiny stuff that piled up over time, Clay felt like he was too wound up to return home - worried he’d lash out even more.

Clay takes a deep breath, keeping his focus on the small stain on his wristband, then tries to explain all that to Grandma Ro, “I swear, I meant to come back sooner, but I- it just-“ He cuts himself off when one of Grandma Ro’s paws cups his cheek, tilting his head up to look at her tear-filled eyes.

“Oh, sunshine, I’m just glad you’re here.”

His brows scrunch together in confusion, there’s definitely something more to those words.

“Roro?”

His Grandma sighs, removing her paw from his face to run through her hair, “I thought it was just another one of your fights and everyone would be back in a few days,” She starts, Clay’s shoulders slowly coming up to his ears as dread builds in his chest, “Meadow told me that you were staying with her and Karma, so I knew you were somewhere safe, but no one could find your brothers.”

The building dread falls into his stomach before trying to claw out of him through his throat.

She takes a deep breath, just like Clay had to earlier, “Astrantia asked around, and some Trolls say they saw John, Spruce, and Floyd escaping after the show.”

Clay pulls his paw away, curling into himself, his breath coming and leaving him too fast.

His brothers are gone? They actually left?

Okay, Clay doesn’t want to continue being in the band, but that doesn’t mean he wants his brothers gone.

And sure, he’s thought about escaping the Tree before- but not without them!

The fact that John, Spruce, and Floyd actually left-

Clay jumps up from the couch, his breath coming even faster, “B- Branch- Where’s Branch?”

Grandma Ro said no one could find his brothers - it was only until the Head Guard asked around that some Trolls say they saw three of them escape - but she never mentioned Branch.

Is Branch just wandering around after the fight? Looking for them?

What if he lost his glasses? What if he’s hurt? What if a Bergen finds him? What if-

“Clay?”

The voice, and two small arms wrapping around his leg, bring him back to himself.

Clay’s paws are clenched at the roots of his hair, a dull pain thrumming through his head and fists, his tail is curled tightly around his leg, tears are streaming down his face, and his chest aches with each rapid breath he takes in.

Clay looks down at the voice, releasing his hair, he scoops up the Trolling and collapses onto his knees. He sobs into Branch’s hair, just like his Grandma did to him minutes ago. 

Grandma Ro kneels beside him, making sure to give him space until he says otherwise.

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

Clay’s back! 

Grandma said Clay was still in the Tree, but Branch was worried his big brother was still upset he ruined the show- but he’s back!

That means there’s a chance Johnny and Spruce might come back too! And Floyd already promised he’d come back!

Branch wraps his arms around Clay’s neck, nuzzling against his jaw and trying to mimic the comforting coos and trills Grandma had been making to Branch all week. 

Even as he tries to comfort his big brother, Branch can’t help but wag his tail in joy.

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

[deadly-espresso]

A bit of a vent update.

Spring of this year has been a bit of a downer for me. Sure, I'll be finishing 12th Grade soon, but it feels like I've lost so much over the years… especially the trust of my fanbase. Plenty of bad things conspired about me back in 2024, and now it's really left me in a downer of a position this year, especially what happened with It's TG Sis and Dico. I hate the fact I was so invasive of them, wanting to feel valued and cared about when they had no real reason to, so it especially hurt a lot when It's TG Sis unpersoned me from their channel and community and Dico accused me of basing one of my songs on them when it wasn't the case. Looking back, I wish I did have a more sensible way to deal with the issues, rather than having my points of view being contorted by anger and spite.

Much of this stuff can be traced back to incidents with my art around 2024, the first one being about posting art that was perceived as being too overtly sexual. Sure, the art wasn't created with intent of being sexual and was instead made to poke fun at an edit someone made of my own art, but I can understand why people would think it was too lewd-looking to post in a server channel that was still 13+ only. Looking back, I wish my art had conveyed that intention better, rather than just being another artwork made in a simplified, silly-looking doodle style. Another controversy came to be due to accusations of some past art made in 2022 where people thought I was glorifying the German Third Reich and other countries with serious negative baggage in their history. Admittingly, my Countryhumans artworks which I had enjoyed making around 2022-2023 were mostly just made as another artistic venture, but in hindsight, I feel like my depictions of them were too sympathetic and "humanized", even though in my head they were more meant to be like humanoid abominations with a more alien sense of morality at best. I wasn't as experienced with art as I am today and therefore couldn't convey that kind of stuff that well. Eventually, my interest in drawing country personifications sizzled out, and looking back, the country personification art communities may have been doomed from the start due to the huge historical and political baggage behind many of them. It's just so easy to get stuff wrong and risk making things with unfortunate implications in those communities.

That said, I really wish my concerns didn't constantly fall on deaf ears or be dismissed as the complaints of someone who doesn't deserve to be heard out. I feel like it's only compounded the problem. But even then, it feels like I can't even do anything right. Like, I even bothered to write a document to help explain to others what had happended in the past year and where it all went wrong with me, but even that failed to convey my situation that well and I ended up privating it after a few weeks from the stress. I've also become more concerned about my mental health over the years when some recent conversations have left me to question if I do have some sort of mental health problem, possibly a personality disorder. If I really do have some sort of personality disorder, I don't feel safe enough to confront it in the flesh since I'm still living with my parents. I've already felt like a black sheep in my household for being neurodivergent, so I fear even confronting the possibility of me having a personality disorder with a therapist would just put more stress on my family. Due to these issues, I likely won't be as active or making as complex works for a while, though I can reassure you all that the whole Distortionist fanfic project I've been working on since last May is still being worked on, and its final part may be finished by THIS May.

If I do have any positive updates, though, I have recently gotten my hands on a copy of Synthesizer V Pro 1 (2 was released recently) and acquired a couple of voicebanks for the program, therefore you might see more SynthV content from me in the future (I've been relatively inactive with the program outside of the "Looking at Me" song made with Anri Lite I produced last May).

[cosmogyral-cat]

I may be a bit late to the party but I finally started playing Life Is Strange: True Colors. I finished the first chapter yesterday so I'll give a quick rundown on things and characters I liked as well as my thoughts on the story's setup.

!!!My knowledge about the game is limited to chapter 1-3, but I will compare some of it to the other games of the series, so there will be very minor spoilers for Life Is Strange 1, Life Is Strange: Before The Storm, and Life Is Strange 2!!!

So here's a list of things I really liked about the first chapter!

Consistent setting (which is something I didn't like about LiS 2. The Life Is Strange series' biggest strong suit is, in my opinion, its characters and the consistent change of setting and characters made it incredibly difficult for many people to really get attached to the characters)

Great introduction to Alex through interview with Dr. Lynn (teaser for her powers without revealing too much)

Well-written dialogue, the characters feel very distinct and natural

Gabe. Best big brother out there fr

The graphics and animation are amazing! In the other games, facial expressions could often seem stiff and at times even unexpressive, but True Colors captured emotions incredibly well and the art style in itself is a big improvement, the environment looks absolutely astounding

The water is so beautiful

Alex' journal is very distinct from the ones we've seen in other LiS games since instead of doodles, she has a very unique way of expressing herself through quotes and songs

The memory collection feature is a great way for collectors to learn a lot more about Haven Springs and its characters

While I felt like Sean was very stiff and more of a self-insert for the player, Alex had very unique struggles with her past and how introverted she is

The love interests are amazing. While Warren was incredibly questionable in many ways and while Rachel wasn't the best either given that she's cheated on Chloe multiple times, Ryan and Steph are nothing but delightful from what I've seen

Speaking of which: Steph is really cool, I like how flirty and outgoing she is, she just seems like someone who's fun to be around

Also speaking of which: I love Ryan so much. He's a bit nerdy, I love his sense of humor, he's attractive, he's calm and attentive, he's got a beautiful voice, he's a bit of a smartass, it makes me happy every time he's on-screen

I love the way Ryan handled the situation when he noticed that Alex was getting nervous because of Steph's anger. He saw what was happening, quickly found a solution and made sure that Alex was okay. This is something I wish more people would do when they see someone get anxious instead of questioning their anxiety or getting upset because of it

Unlike Daniel who was at times extremely annoying (at least in my opinion, I understand that children are just like that sometimes and that's okay), I grew incredibly attached to Ethan right away

I love the side characters!! They feel so authentic and it's nice to be around them, listen to them, help them with their individual struggles

The Thaynor puzzle was very fun to solve (but I think most True Colors puzzles are fun, for example the jukebox puzzle)

I like that the story is heading into the direction of "I have a power with many downsides but I can also use it to help people around me"

On that note, Alex' power is very cool and I like that it's something she's had trouble with way before the plot started

I was genuinely sad when Gabe died, it hit me like a truck because I really liked him despite the short time Alex spent with him

True Colors doesn't try to tackle a million societal issues at once and instead focuses on a few to make the plot feel consistent and realistic

The arcade games are so much fun, I'm so glad that they put little mini games like these into the game

Those are my thoughts on chapter 1 for now, I think I'll add more about the other chapters some other time!!

[cubedmango]

NAINAAAA OH MY GOD?(:&:?:& I’M DJD YOUUUUUUU !!!!!!! I’m so sorry I don’t want this entire ask to be pure nonsense so I’m gonna pick up every single one of the million pieces I just exploded into, off of the floor and try and function,,, can I just say you needed to add a warning to that post because I genuinely yelled so loud I felt sharp burn in my chest afterwards WHYY WOULD YOU DO THIS😭😭 KUROSAWA CRYING,, THE BREAKFAST NOTEJNSJS ADACHI AND THEIR LITTLE GIRL CUDDLED UP,,, THE RING,, THE CHERRY!!PYJAMAS I’M FUCKFNFJF oh man. Oh God. Wow you… bless you… you wonderful miracle working legend… like I need you to understand so clearly when I say that my heart took a nose dive upon glancing at that art like my deeply heartfelt love for your art aside the fact that you put it into a perfect visual form with our la sweethearts like I actually can’t move on?? I saw it earlier today and have been racking my brain trying to find ways to properly emote the groundbreaking shift that took place within my soul like. Every so often (every 10 minutes) mind would drift back to Them and I’d have to grab onto the nearest wall to steady myself I’ve officially Lost it. Like thank me? THANK /YOU/ 6473683 times over😭😭😭<333333 I feel like I felt the warm rays of the spring sunshine after a 12 month long winter like truly I’m not sure how but I’m gonna have to join you sensei is gonna receive a mental transmission from me every day onwards BEGGING for this progression it could fix me in so many ways nothing else ever could I just know it…

(other ask below for length)

The ask was getting so long I’m sorry😭 (you Broke Me) BUT your tags had my heart aching because I didn’t even think about that but you’re sooo right like it’s clear that a lot of kurosawa’s unrealistic expectations for himself were ingrained into him through his mother and what she actually expected of him growing up and that manifesting into fears of fatherhood and making the same mistakes is,,,, (had to stop to forcefully regulate my breathing pattern here out of sheer pain) like it’s a perfect next life stage arc that stays true to his character. Plus the whole contrast with adachi being naturally adept and comfortable with fatherhood due to /his/steadfast upbringing and being able to talk things through with kurosawa and help him understand that yeah there’s no such thing as The Perfect Parent™️ but you do just have to learn as you go, while taking into account to be mindful of not making the same mistakes as your own parents but at the end of the day the goal is to create that loving, supportive and consistent environment which he’s more than capable of doing like oh GOD I could eat rocks by the spoonful right now sensei PLEASE,,, I’m gonna stop rambling before every single thought floods out but once again THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for the Kurodachi brain food I’m gonna think about it an insanely unhealthy amount,,, I hope your day was loveliest it could be <333

PLS ANON IM CRYING SM these asks made my day pls im eating up all ur thoughts instantly (and weeps thank u im glad u liked the doodles 🥹) im so unwell abt kurodadchis rn so ty again for putting them in my brain !!!!!

also everything u said abt them talking the possibility out and accepting that they might not be perfect parents but they can actively try to do better and theyre 100% capable of that is just . aaauagGGHHGH i need sensei to make this happen w manga krdc like Right Now and then i need the drama crew to come back and give us a full s2 of this and then same w rd and then-

[where-i-keep-my-sh-t]

9/27/24

Today I was at my parents’ house.

Today I woke up in the aftermath of a hurricane.

It was so strong it knocked us off campus- I was home for an extended weekend but it also knocked out the power. Additionally, (and I would only come to know this later) it knocked numerous trees right out the ground.

For the first part, it was okay. I wanted to sleep a little longer, what with the dreary skies and low howl of wind outside. But eventually I got up- conditioned to eat cereal and milk like I was eight again. I wouldn’t complain. We needed to conserve the coolness of the fridge, so I was prohibited from opening it. 

Afterwards, we had geared up to go outside- an idea I was initially against. Seeing everything… didn’t really elicit much of a response from me. There was no tree through our roof- no broken windows or shattered walls. So why should I have felt anything? The only inconvenience was all the rubbish in our yard- sticks and branches and leaves. That and our car was looking a little more green than black-

We cleaned up for a minute or two, my brothers and I dragging out the largest of the debris and piling it up. A few neighborhood children came by to play with the younger of us, and one even followed us along on our walk. 

It was nothing too terribly devastating- roots everywhere, sure. Most people’s yards were littered with leaves, just like ours. It should’ve fostered a sense of community- I thought, going by what I’d seen in media- but really, it was just kind of sad. And humid. And a tad boring.

Somewhere along the trail we came along a ruined tent- with a bunch of scattered springs around. And since I had always felt (and been treated) like a child at my parents’ house, in my parents’ neighborhood, I sought to collect them all. 

Of course, I had to be imitated. I liked them for their iridescent sheen, their strength against my tugging fingers. Their shiny golden luster. My brothers picked them up simply because they had seen me do so first. I had to resist my frustration- my pockets were already sagging with the weight of the springs I’d collected already. I’d had to hold them the rest of the walk to avoid them slipping down to my ankles, a fact that made me feel both stupid and wealthy. 

We’d climbed over a few trees in the road, gone around some. It was funny, really, acting so out and about. If things had gone my way, I would have been asleep or on a device- but my mother had advised against using them too much. We didn’t know when we would be able to charge them again.

She took lots of pictures, like it was some tragedy. I’d honestly thought we weren’t going to be affected. I was wrong. Not horribly, but I was wrong. We’d seen downed streetlights, some with the heads cleaved right off. I picked one up and nearly pulled the cables out, but my father barked at us to move it along.

On one street, there had been a gas leak- I hadn’t been the first to smell it, but I was the first to recognize it.

I didn’t turn around- I didn’t want to. It wasn’t until my mother was shouting at us to turn around. She was explaining the gas leak- but I wasn’t listening. While they were all running up ahead, I was too busy thinking that if that house exploded-

I don’t know if anyone ever called the gas company. If the house exploded later, I don’t know if I’d care.

It was on the way home that I’d seen it, the sight that struck up the barest amount of feeling in me.

Someone had been unfortunate enough to have a tree laid across their roof, branches digging inward. The woman who’d owned it was sitting out front, leg wrapped in bandages. I believe I might have stared- but I moved on quickly, feeling a mix of discomfort and confusion. 

If the storm had been that bad, how was I not hit worse by it?

I remembered sleeping peacefully last night. I went to bed at an ungodly hour, up late doodling characters for a friend. It had been raining, and since I love the rain, it had been more of a comfort to me than the happenings of a natural disaster. I had been more than surprised when I woke up, and when we returned from our walk, some of the disbelief was still lingering. Could I have even called it disbelief, though? I was so used to dissociating that it just didn’t feel real, didn’t feel important.

I took a “nap” of sorts. I remembered going in and out of consciousness- between being too humid and the kids outside being too loud, I didn’t sleep very smoothly, but somewhere around the last stretch, the rest finally came to me.

I woke up around 4:00 pm. My brothers had been courteous to leave the room, and I’d used the bathroom in the dark. (Thank god we still had water…) I returned to my room after that, powering on my device to continue the art I’d been working on last night. I had messages from my friends- they were mostly okay. A couple fallen trees. A couple damaged homes. One dented kitchen wall. Lost cellular data and more power outages. Nothing good, really, but we still had a few days until I expected it to be.

Procrastination was my go-to. I ate a snack, drew for an hour, maybe a little more. And then we needed to go to the spring. And so I went, and that’s when I truly saw the extent of the damage.

Power lines knocked down by trees. Churches and houses and plazas wrecked by timber. Roots in the air, people hiking up and down the streets. Emergency vehicles riding all around. Another pang of pity. Maybe the slightest dribble of sympathy. I stared out the window, not knowing how to feel. 

When we arrived at the spring, it was full. Too full. People lined up and down the road trying to fill up their bottles with water. I advised going back at night. It took a moment, but we were on our way back home eventually. 

When we arrived, it was nearly eight o’clock. And then I sat down to write about my day.

Later, we went out to see the stars. In an unpolluted sky, there were so many I couldn’t tell what the constellations were. 

[dw-flagler]

Class ended in five minutes and all I could think was, an hour is too long for lunch.

Since the start of the semester, I had been looking forward to the part of Mr. Gladly’s World Issues class where we’d start discussing capes. Now that it had finally arrived, I couldn’t focus. I fidgeted, my pen moving from hand to hand, tapping, or absently drawing some figure in the corner of the page to join the other doodles. My eyes were restless too, darting from the clock above the door to Mr. Gladly and back to the clock. I wasn’t picking up enough of his lesson to follow along. Twenty minutes to twelve; five minutes left before class ended.

He was animated, clearly excited about what he was talking about, and for once, the class was listening. He was the sort of teacher who tried to be friends with his students, the sort who went by “Mr. G” instead of Mr. Gladly. He liked to end class a little earlier than usual and chat with the popular kids, gave lots of group work so others could hang out with their friends in class, and had ‘fun’ assignments like mock trials.

He struck me as one of the ‘popular’ kids who had become a teacher. He probably thought he was everyone’s favorite. I wondered how he’d react if he heard my opinion on the subject. Would it shatter his self image or would he shrug it off as an anomaly from the gloomy girl that never spoke up in class?

I glanced over my shoulder. Madison Clements sat two rows to my left and two seats back. She saw me looking and smirked, her eyes narrowing, and I lowered my eyes to my notebook. I tried to ignore the ugly, sour feeling that stewed in my stomach. I glanced up at the clock. Eleven-forty-three.

“Let me wrap up here,” Mr. Gladly said, “Sorry, guys, but there is homework for the weekend. Think about capes and how they’ve impacted the world around you. Make a list if you want, but it’s not mandatory. On Monday we’ll break up into groups of four and see what group has the best list. I’ll buy the winning group treats from the vending machine.”

There were a series of cheers, followed by the classroom devolving into noisy chaos. The room was filled with sounds of binders snapping shut, textbooks and notebooks being slammed closed, chairs screeching on cheap tile and the dull roar of emerging conversation. A bunch of the more social members of the class gathered around Mr. Gladly to chat.

Me? I just put my books away and kept quiet. I’d written down almost nothing in the way of notes; there were collections of doodles spreading across the page and numbers in the margins where I’d counted down the minutes to lunch as if I was keeping track of the timer on a bomb.

Madison was talking with her friends. She was popular, but not gorgeous in the way the stereotypical popular girls on TV were. She was ‘adorable’, instead. Petite. She played up the image with sky blue pins in her shoulder length brown hair and a cutesy attitude. Madison wore a strapless top and denim skirt, which seemed absolutely moronic to me given the fact that it was still early enough in the spring that we could see our breath in the mornings.

I wasn’t exactly in a position to criticize her. Boys liked her and she had friends, while the same was hardly true for me. The only feminine feature I had going for me was my dark curly hair, which I’d grown long. The clothes I wore didn’t show skin, and I didn’t deck myself out in bright colors like a bird showing off its plumage.

Guys liked her, I think, because she was appealing without being intimidating.

If they only knew.

The bell rang with a lilting ding-dong, and I was the first one out the door. I didn’t run, but I moved at a decent clip as I headed up the stairwell to the third floor and made my way to the girl’s washroom.

There were a half dozen girls there already, which meant I had to wait for a stall to open up. I nervously watched the door of the bathroom, feeling my heart drop every time someone entered the room.

As soon as there was a free stall, I let myself in and locked the door. I leaned against the wall and exhaled slowly. It wasn’t quite a sigh of relief. Relief implied you felt better. I wouldn’t feel better until I got home. No, I just felt less uneasy.

It took maybe five minutes before the noise of others in the washroom stopped. A peek below the partitions showed that there was nobody else in the other stalls. I sat on the lid of the toilet and got my brown bag lunch to begin eating.

Lunch on the toilet was routine now. Every school day, I would finish off my brown bag lunch, then I’d do homework or read a book until lunch hour was over. The only book in my bag that I hadn’t already read was called ‘Triumvirate’, a biography of the leading three members of the Protectorate. I was thinking I would spend as long as I could on Mr. Gladly’s assignment before reading, because I wasn’t enjoying the book. Biographies weren’t my thing, and they were especially not my thing when I was suspicious it was all made up.

Whatever my plan, I didn’t even have a chance to finish my pita wrap. The door of the bathroom banged open. I froze. I didn’t want to rustle the bag and clue anyone into what I was doing, so I kept still and listened.

I couldn’t make out the voices. The noise of the conversation was obscured by giggling and the sound of water from the sinks. There was a knock on the door, making me jump. I ignored it, but the person on the other side just repeated the knock.

“Occupied,” I called out, hesitantly.

“Oh my god, it’s Taylor!” one of the girls on the outside exclaimed with glee, then in response to something another girl whispered, I barely heard her add, “Yeah, do it!”

I stood up abruptly, letting the brown bag with the last mouthful of my lunch fall to the tiled floor. Rushing for the door, I popped the lock open and pushed. The door didn’t budge.

There were noises from the stalls on either side of me, then a sound above me. I looked up to see what it was, only to get splashed in the face. My eyes started burning, and I was momentarily blinded by the stinging fluid in my eyes and my blurring of my glasses. I could taste it as it ran down to my nose and mouth. Cranberry juice.

They didn’t stop there. I managed to pull my glasses off just in time to see Madison and Sophia leaning over the top of the stall, each of them with plastic bottles at the ready. I bent over with my hands shielding my head just before they emptied the contents over me.

It ran down the back of my neck, soaked my clothes, fizzed as it ran through my hair. I pushed against the door again, but the girl on the other side was braced against it with her body.

If the girls pouring juice and soda on me were Madison and Sophia, that meant the girl on the other side of the door was Emma, leader of the trio. Empty plastic bottles with labels for grape and cranberry juice fell to the ground around me. A bottle of orange soda bounced off my shoulder to splash into the puddle before rolling under the partition and into the next stall. The smell of the fruity drinks and sodas was sickly sweet. “Take that, you worm,” someone said on the other end of the door.

It swung open, and I glared up at the three girls. Madison, Sophia and Emma. Where Madison was cute, a late bloomer, Sophia and Emma were the types of girls that fit the ‘prom queen’ image. Sophia was dark skinned, with a slender, athletic build she’d developed as a runner on the school track team. Red-headed Emma, by contrast, had all the curves the guys wanted. She was good looking enough to get occasional jobs as a amateur model for the catalogs that the local department stores and malls put out. The three of them were laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world, but the sounds of their amusement barely registered with me. My attention was on the faint roar of blood pumping in my ears and an urgent, ominous crackling ‘sound’ that wouldn’t get any quieter or less persistent if I covered my ears with my hands. I could feel dribbles running down my arms and back, still chilled from the refrigerated vending machines.

I didn’t trust myself to say something that wouldn’t give them fodder to taunt me with, so I kept silent.

Carefully, I climbed to my feet and turned my back on them to get my backpack off the top of the toilet. Seeing it gave me pause. It had been a khaki green, before, but now dark purple blotches covered it, most of the contents of a bottle of grape juice. Pulling the straps around my shoulders, I turned around. The girls weren’t there. I heard the bathroom door bang shut, cutting off the sounds of their glee, leaving me alone in the bathroom, drenched.

I approached the sink and stared at myself in the scratched, stained mirror that was bolted above it. I had inherited a thin lipped, wide, expressive mouth from my mother, but my large eyes and my gawky figure made me look a lot more like my dad. My dark hair was soaked enough that it clung to my scalp, neck and shoulders. I was wearing a brown hooded sweatshirt over a green t-shirt, but colored blotches of purple, red and orange streaked both. My glasses were beaded with the multicolored droplets of juice and soda. A drip ran down my nose and fell from the tip to land in the sink.

Using a paper towel from the dispenser, I wiped my glasses off and put them on again. The residual streaks made it just as hard to see, if not worse than it had been.

Deep breaths, Taylor, I told myself.

I pulled the glasses off to clean them again with a wet towel, and found the streaks were still there.

An inarticulate scream of fury and frustration escaped my lips, and I kicked the plastic bucket that sat just beneath the sink, sending it and the toilet brush inside flying into the wall. When that wasn’t enough, I pulled off my backpack and used a two-handed grip to hurl it. I wasn’t using my locker anymore: certain individuals had vandalized or broken into it on four different occasions. My bag was heavy, loaded down with everything I’d anticipated needing for the day’s classes. It crunched audibly on impact with the wall.

“What the fuck!?” I screamed to nobody in particular, my voice echoing in the bathroom. There were tears in the corners of my eyes.

“The hell am I supposed to do!?” I wanted to hit something, break something. To retaliate against the unfairness of the world. I almost struck the mirror, but I held back. It was such a small thing that it felt like it would make me feel more insignificant instead of venting my frustration.

I’d been enduring this from the very first day of high school, a year and a half ago. The bathroom had been the closest thing I could find to refuge. It had been lonely and undignified, but it had been a place I could retreat to, a place where I was off their radar. Now I didn’t even have that.

I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do for my afternoon classes. Our midterm project for art was due, and I couldn’t go to class like this. Sophia would be there, and I could just imagine her smug smile of satisfaction as I showed up looking like I’d botched an attempt to tie-dye everything I owned.

Besides, I’d just thrown my bag against the wall and I doubted my project was still in one piece.

The buzzing at the edge of my consciousness was getting worse. My hands shook as I bent over and gripped the edge of the sink, let out a long, slow breath, and let my defenses drop. For three months, I’d held back. Right now? I didn’t care anymore.

I shut my eyes and felt the buzzing crystallize into concrete information. As numerous as stars in the night sky, tiny knots of intricate data filled the area around me. I could focus on each one in turn, pick out details. The clusters of data had been reflexively drifting towards me since I was first splashed in the face. They responded to my subconscious thoughts and emotions, as much of a reflection of my frustration, my anger, my hatred for those three girls as my pounding heart and trembling hands were. I could make them stop or direct them to move almost without thinking about it, the same way I could raise an arm or twitch a finger.

I opened my eyes. I could feel adrenaline thrumming through my body, blood coursing in my veins. I shivered in response to the chilled soft drinks and juices the trio had poured over me, with anticipation and with just a little fear. On every surface of the bathroom were bugs; Flies, ants, spiders, centipedes, millipedes, earwigs, beetles, wasps and bees. With every passing second, more streamed in through the open window and the various openings in the bathroom, moving with surprising speed. Some crawled in through a gap where the sink drain entered the wall while others emerged from the triangular hole in the ceiling where a section of foam tile had broken off, or from the opened window with peeling paint and cigarette butts squished out in the recesses. They gathered around me and spread out over every available surface; primitive bundles of signals and responses, waiting for further instruction.

My practice sessions, conducted away from prying eyes, told me I could direct a single insect to move an antennae, or command the gathered horde to move in formation. With one thought, I could single out a particular group, maturity or species from this jumble and direct them as I wished. An army of soldiers under my complete control.

It would be so easy, so easy to just go Carrie on the school. To give the trio their just desserts and make them regret what they had put me through: the vicious e-mails, the trash they’d upended over my desk, the flute –my mother’s flute– they’d stolen from my locker. It wasn’t just them either. Other girls and a small handful of boys had joined in, ‘accidentally’ skipping over me when passing out assignment handouts, adding their own voices to the taunts and the flood of nasty emails, to get the favor and attention of three of the prettier and more popular girls in our grade.

I was all too aware that I’d get caught and arrested if I attacked my fellow students. There were three teams of superheroes and any number of solo heroes in the city. I didn’t really care. The thought of my father seeing the aftermath on the news, his disappointment in me, his shame? That was more daunting, but it still didn’t outweigh the anger and frustration.

Except I was better than that.

With a sigh, I sent an instruction to the gathered swarm. Disperse. The word wasn’t as important as the idea behind it. They began to exit the room, disappearing into the cracks in the tile and through the open window. I walked over to the door and stood with my back to it so nobody could stumble onto the scene before the bugs were all gone.

However much I wanted to, I couldn’t really follow through. Even as I trembled with humiliation, I managed to convince myself to pick up my backpack and head down the hall. I made my way out of the school, ignoring the stares and giggles from everyone I walked past, and caught the first bus that headed in the general direction of home. The chill of early spring compounded the discomfort of my soaked hair and clothes, making me shiver.

I was going to be a superhero. That was the goal I used to calm myself down at moments like these. It was what I used to make myself get out of bed on a school day. It was a crazy dream that made things tolerable. It was something to look forward to, something to work towards. It made it possible to keep from dwelling on the fact that Emma Barnes, leader of the trio, had once been my best friend.

imagine a website where anytime you wanted to post a thought longer than a paragraph you had to end the first paragraph with the 🧵 emoji so people knew to keep reading

[cursed-elo-images]

I’ve listened to the song I tagged in my recent post.

If anybody sees this post and hasn’t seen the post I’m referring to, and has NO idea what I’m talking about, I drew something cursed you can find on my blog and the song I’m referring to is “Confusion” by of course ELO.

It’s not one of my most favorites, but it’s a really good one.

Well, I think I just ruined the song for myself. (half jokingly)

While I said the above phrase in jest, there is some truth to it.

But first, I must mention my backstory.

The Backstory of the One and Only, cursed-elo-images Herself

My relationship with ELO started in March 2020. This was right before lockdown, and a parent of mine showed me a copy of ELO’s “greatest hits all over the world” CD, and we decided to play it in the car. I did like them, but I didn’t really listen to them much that month (really just a little bit of Elton John and some David Bowie too who are also good), but I decided to in April that month. I fell in love with them. I did however discover them in 2018 but didn’t feel like trying them out since I wasn’t into classic rock during that time besides Queen, since I listened to a few vocaloid songs. I also had “Don’t Bring Me Down” stuck in my head in late 2019, for some strange reason, but again didn’t feel like trying them out at the time, since I just liked Queen then. (Also a very good band, and I should also mention I stopped liking vocaloid music in early 2019 and Queen was what brought me back to classic rock)

Since then, I’ve listened to this band a lot, usually during the spring-summer because those seasons I find “enhance” the experience, I suppose it’s to invoke the nostalgia I felt when they first touched the neurons in my ear canals. I have went on a hiatus in 2021 though, because I temporarily replaced them with British rock band Sweet, which are arguably MORE underrated than them, but came back to ELO since… not to slander Sweet but, ELO is just more interesting and sensorily pleasing. I wasn’t really interested in the members, just the music. This lasted from 2020 to March this year. I did try to memorize the members of the band last year, but again I wasn’t really into the fandom, I just liked them as background music/shoving their music into my ears whenever I feel like it, which was a lot, but not on the same level as me immersed in David Bowie’s many personas and the fandom side of THAT.

I don’t know what got me interested in drawing ELO members or reading fandom posts about them, but here I am. I love being this way, and it gives me more people to be interested in so I take this as a win. They just have that adorkable charm to them.

Why I’m Obsessing over ELO’s Confusion

Now the context is out of the way, let’s discuss why I’m obsessing over their “Confusion” song. Like I previously mentioned, I liked the song to listen to sometimes, and to use as background music. Yes, even when I was blissfully unaware of the members and the fandom, and the future that was to come of me drawing the most bizarro cursed nonsense shlock (affectionate) regarding the band. It’s a nice song, detailing the (in my interpretation, yours might differ) confusion, shock, and sadness one feels after breaking up with their significant other. However, I, being the equally cursed weirdo that I am, decided to use that song for the dreaded (affectionate) Melvyn bread train doodle. Why? Because that was the theme of the drawing. Did I need to add the song? No, but I thought it would be funny and look cool. Then when I clicked on the Spotify link I heard a snippet of the song and I unfortunately applied the lyrics to the drawing, implying that the band lost… Melvyn’s… human(?) form and became that cursed abomination (affectionate) and have their feelings about it.

Now, instead of being at peace with their music (specifically Confusion) I am now going to think of that drawing every time I listen to it. Just great (lightheartedly sarcastic).

[memoriapraeteritorumbonorum]

Hi!! I really enjoyed the hc you posted of Curvo and Cara noticing y/n picking up on their habits, and was curious if you could write something like that for Káno and Mai?

Thank you, darling! 💚

Ps, those hc were really cute 🥺

Noticing you've picked up their mannerisms - Maedhros and Maglor

Author's note: Here you go! Some soft moments for our favs. Glad you liked the other HCs🧡 I was listening to tavern music when I wrote this and got carried away, this song really captures this post's mood *swoon*

-

Maedhros 

He sometimes struggles with his concentration, especially when working at his desk 

Whenever that happens, Mai tends to doodle. He doesn’t really notice, it’s more of a subconscious thing 

You watched him zone out gradually countless times and it's the cutest thing ever

He’s always so put together and knows how to handle his concentration, but you knew he’s had more tea than usual that morning and tea always seemed to infiltrate his thoughts and make his eyes extra droopy

You were sitting on the couch behind the desk he was working at, practicing your beading skills, when you heard him draw a rather long breath

He’s doodling again, you thought, let me see what it is

Over time, you’ve picked up on some of the characters he would always draw when lost in thought. A small bird (you’ve come to the conclusion that it’s supposed to be a swallow) in particular would always make a comeback on his papers

Sometimes you pocket pieces of paper he was going to throw away, just for the sake of his little doodles. 

He’s so prim and proper, always on top of everything, so dutiful and disciplined, typical eldest son behavior

But his little doodles always show you that even the firstborn prince is just a person with cute quirks

One day, you find yourself sitting in the library, studying for a poetry recital that is coming up rather soon

You know there’s going to be a discussion afterwards, that is why you have taken it upon yourself to refresh your knowledge about this particular branch of elven poetry

What started out as an inspired, enthusiastic study session has now turned into your eyes burning from the dust flying around in the air every time you’d turn a page 

Why do these books have to be so old? You’re lucky if you don’t develop a dust allergy after this

The handwritten verses in your notebook are becoming sloppier and sloppier until you find yourself zoning out completely and thus forget about the quill in your hand

When you return to your chambers, Mai is there, curious to see which poems you’ve picked for the recital 

So you unknowingly hand him your notebook and his eyes dart back and forth between the page and you — like what’s up huh

"That looks familiar," he smirks, pointing at the little swallows adorning the bottom right corner of the notebook’s last page. You rub your eyes — did you really draw his infamous doodle?? Wild

Mai just traces the doodle with his finger, his warm eyes scanning the page while smile lines start to form on his friendly face

He always knew you had a soft spot for his doodles, and to see you actually adopting them into your own subconscious studying habits just warms his heart in a way he cannot describe

He feels so connected to you in that moment, so happy and safe, knowing that you cherish his little quirks which he always deemed as embarrassing proof of his concentration struggle

"Can I keep it?" he lets it slip, and feels a blush creep onto his cheeks at your smile. You nod enthusiastically and tear the page from your book, giving it to him

When you enter his study later that day, you find that he’s framed that page and placed it on his desk, next to his quill and parchment :)

Maglor

Laurë is an early bird

He’s always been one to greet the world, to watch it wake up. To see the sun rise and warm every creature, no matter how small and inconspicuous, to make them feel like every day is going to be a great one.

He finds himself sitting alone in the gardens, especially in the spring time, when everything is misty and dewy and the silence seems almost eery. 

You’ve gotten used to waking up without him, but you cannot hold it against him, really. Because he always kisses you on your forehead before he makes his way into the green grass and hanging trees, the roots and still tired flowers 

And every time you wake up, your forehead feels warm because of his lingering fëa on your skin, coaxing a smile onto your face, before he returns to your chambers shortly after, with a freshly picked flower to sweeten your morning

And so, one fateful morning, you wake up before he does. And you can tell that dawn draws near

Somehow, Mother Nature is calling out to you, and the gardens look so utterly beautiful in the distance, clouded by the misty air, you just have to go see for yourself

You slowly get up and dressed, take an extra scarf because we wouldn’t want you catching a cold!

And then you step to your beloved Laurë, bend down and brush your lips against his forehead

A ghost of a smile appears on his relaxed features I’m simping 

Your feet follow the trail he left from all his previous trips and you arrive just in time for the sun to peak past the horizon, lovingly greeting you, the newest creature in this setting

And so Makalaurë awakens, lonely for once, the memory of your kiss still on his forehead 

When you come in moments later, a lone rose in your hand, hair frizzier than usual because of this morning’s humidity, eyes sparkling with the optimism of having witnessed Arda’s serenity, he’s falling in love with you all over again

"Good morning, Laurë!" You beam and stretch your arm out to present your little token of love and he MELTS

He’s never expected you to ever indulge in this little morning ritual of his, knowing how grumpy you always get if you didn’t sleep enough

He just falls into your arms, inhales your scent which is now infused with flowery morning dew

Your scarf feels warm against his cheek from the residue sunlight and he squeezes you tight and just sighs

"Good morning, my sweet Y/N"

I’m gonna cry 

[namusthetic]

The Four Seasons

Color guide for the characters' comments:

Winter; Spring; Summer; Autumn;

_______

Winter

Jittery because had way too much sugar

Started buying presents and wrapping them in September

Has a special mug for every occasion

Likes to relax by the fire while reading or scrolling through their phone

Gives Christmas-themed socks to everyone

Sits in weird positions

Loud and affectionate with people they feel close with (even too affectionate... )

Cold and unforgiving when pissed

Has a reading list and is gonna finish it before the year ends (hopefully)

Struggles with anger management

Smiles at strangers on the street

Starts stuttering and their lisp comes out when too nervous or excited (I heard Autumn saying it was cute - oh really? - S-spring!!!!!!)

Loves surprises

Prideful, gets offended easily, but also forgives and forgets easily (it took us a whole afternoon to get them to open the door just because the three of us hung out without them - still don't know why we bothered. - HEY!!! )

Calls instead of texting

Ready to throw hands if any of their friends gets bullied or insulted

Aesthetics:

Hot chocolate and a crackling fireplace, Christmas songs and mulled wine, snow and cold wind, warm scarves and knitted gloves, snow angles and snowball fights, smirks and fistbumps, warm sweaters and tight hugs, doodles on frosty window panes, dad jokes and uncoordinated dance moves

Playlist:

Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Tongue Tied by Grouplove

(I Can Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones

This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

Eleanor Rigby by Cody Fry

Somebody To Love by Queen

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Michael Bublé

Snowman by Sia

Winter Wonderland by Michael Bublé

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

_______

Spring

Has various nervous tics because of anxiety

Always sitting on the floor

Often with their head in the clouds (AM NOT! - darling, I've literally seen you walk into door frames more times than I can count - ... )

Almost never raises their voice

Starts reading a book, then forgets about it and starts another one

Gets lost in daydreaming and dissociates from reality

Defends strongly what they believe in

"If I were a frog you'd be welcome on my lily pad"

Starts projects but never finishes them

Sensitive, cries easily when animals and environment is involved

In touch with their emotions and nature (and also with summer apparently - if you don't shut up, I swear. - Autumn, help me!! - oh, hell nah)

Spends long afternoons having pic-nics in the park, reading, sleeping and sunbathing

Walks in the woods looking for fae traps and playing hide and seek with foxes

Aesthetics:

Flower crowns, pic-nics and apricot jam, sunshine filtering through the leaves, birds chirping and bubbly laughter, bumblebees and bees flying from flower to flower, soft singing, flower crowns and daisy chains, curious eyes and pastel colors, small frogs and lilly pads, strawberry toasts and herbal teas, sweet smiles and paint-stained hands

Playlist:

Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

Cool Kids by Echosmith

Ophelia by The Lumineers

Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

Swing Lynn by Harmless

My Kind of Woman by Mac DeMarco

girls by girl in red

Coffee by beabadoobee

Juliet by Cavetown

rises the moon by Liana Flores

Where'd All the Time Go? By Dr. Dog

cardigan by Taylor Swift

No Plan by Hozier

_______

Summer

Sleeps with the windows open

Goes to the beach at sunrise to walk along the shore

Parties until late at night and comes home in the early morning

Afraid of never being good enough

Plans their day to the second, has a set goal in life

Chatty, makes friends easily but sometimes tries too hard

Just plain gorgeous (agreed!! - *blushes*)

Constantly doing something so they doesn't have any time to wallow in their thoughts

Sees the best in people (even Autumn? - Would you knock it off!?!!)

Doesn't need anyone's approval but cares about their found family's opinion

Has always something urgent to do

Done with everyone's whining (e- even me? - no, not you - pffft, simp. - *proceeds to throw a shoe at Winter* - You asked for it.)

Always tries to be strong by repressing their emotions (yeah, you shouldn't do that - sigh, I'll try not to)

Aesthetics:

Sunshine and linen sheets, freckles and dimples, gold and sand, warm laughter and cold cocktails, strawberry lemonade, pizza and a can of soda, tan lines and stretch marks, afternoon naps on the porch and late night rides, roller skating with their headphones on the promenade, thrift-shopping, a light breeze in the summer heat

Playlist:

Juicy by Doja Cat

Chicken Noodle Soup by J-Hope (ft. Becky G)

Cool for the Summer by Demi Lovato

WANNABE by ITZY

Need to Know by Doja Cat

I'm Legit by Nicki Minaj ft. Ciara

About Damn Time by Lizzo

Levitating (ft. DaBaby) by Dua Lipa

Egoistic by Mamamoo

Next Level by aespa

Truth Hurts by Lizzo

Gashina by SUNMI

Dirty Harry by Gorillaz

_______

Autumn

Lovely and deep, like the woods they like to wander

Started planning their Halloween costume since summer

Chooses their afternoon tea depending on their mood

Likes to sit by the window and read when starts raining

Often misunderstood

Looks dark and broody but is just a cinnamon roll (a cute, little, squishy cinnamon roll!!! - sometimes I struggle to repress the urge to push you off a cliff - nah, you know you love me - who's gonna tell them? - Not me.)

Starts reading several books at the same time and switches between them

Spends long afternoons reading in coffee shops

Struggles with depression and anxiety

Cannot function without coffee in the morning

Gets startled easily if they are focused on something else

Judges everyone silently, that's just what they do (Except Spring, she can do whatever she wants. - is it the cuteness? - It is.)

Waits for the call to end and then texts "What do you want?!?"

Aesthetics:

Eye-rolls, tired eyes, old books and fallen leaves as bookmarks, sentences underlined with shaky lines, large cardigans and knitted sweaters, dark coffee with splashes of milk, Earl Grey tea and butter biscuits, soft sighs and sweater paws, leather messenger bags and worn-out notebooks, the pitter-patter of rain on the sidewalk, fog and drizzle, the distant rumble of an incoming storm

Playlist:

The Less I Know the Better by Tame Impala

Tired by beabadoobee

Devil Town by Cavetown

Coffee by Jack Stauber's Micropop

Blondie by Current Joys

Alien Blues by Vundabar

Little Dark Age by MGMT

Hey Kids by Molina ft. Late Verlane

Take a Slice by Glass Animals

Vide Noir by Lord Huron

Mary On a Cross by Ghost

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

Zombie by The Cranberries

----------------------🍏

Helloo!!! ✨

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything (again, sob) but I'm back!

I chose seasons this time, and I've also added comments from each one, I thought it would be a cute thing to add, I had fun doing it.

For the character's comments I used different colors to recognize them, I hope it's not too chaotic.

Hope you enjoy, and please take care of yourselves,

lots of love 💜

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

The Special Birthday Gift

Ayaka x Majima!S/O fic

Part 1 Here

(Part 3 of a series, context is in part 1! Also the post is pretty long so be aware before pressing Keep Reading!)

'Hello, S/O. How are you doing?'

Ayaka stared at the letter she wrote intensively, triple checking if everything was correct.

'By the time you receive this letter, it will be my birthday. Normally, birthdays did not feel any different from other days. It felt like even more work with all the gifts and guests I would receive.

But ever since I have met Aether and Paimon, in addition to their invaluable assistance ending the Vision Hunt Decree, I feel that I can be a little selfish this year.

I want you to come by the Kamisato Estate. I would like for us to catch up and speak for a while. That is my only wish for my birthday.

Kamisato Ayaka'

It was quite blunt, moreso than any letter she had ever sent out. But, she figured there was no other way for her message to get across to them.

If she had any less self control she would have doodled a tiny heart beside her name.

That'd be a bit too childish, though Ayaka was sure they wouldn't have cared.

Shrugging and figuring that was good enough she folded the letter neatly and sealed it.

She exited her bedroom and asked Thoma to bring the letter to Itto.

The letter was addressed to S/O, but Itto would deliver it during their near daily sparring sessions.

S/O had a knack for appearing and disappearing at a moment's notice.

It was like they were everywhere at all times.

Which had been infuriating, because everytime Ayaka tried to approach them; they would get warned and pushed away by the city guards, her own guards, or the townspeople.

But no one knew the feelings the Mad Dog of Inazuma had for her, and that their feelings were mutual.

…

S/O walked through the streets of Inazuma City, many of the people getting out of his way quickly, averting their eyes.

Wading their way through the crowd and finding a bench to relax on, they opened up the letter Itto gave them.

(S/O) "The hell is this?"

They were tempted to toss it out if it weren't for the very fancy looking seal on the letter.

It was then they realized it was the Kamisato seal.

Their eyes widened as they quickly tore open the letter, but relaxed as they read the contents of it.

(S/O) "Birthday? Hmph, she should've found someone better to spend it with."

They originally stayed away to make sure she wouldn't get involved due to their past gang affiliations. Not to mention the Vision Hunt Decree.

They knew she was part of the Resistance, but didn't want to make her even more suspicious by interacting with the Mad Dog.

But with the Decree ended and any loose end tied up, they supposed they had no excuse now.

S/O smiled. After all this time, she thought of them.

(S/O) "Twist my arm more, why don't ya?"

Getting up from the bench, they had one stop to make before going to the Kamisato Estate.

(S/O) "Wait a second, why the heck am I buying takoyaki? It'll get cold before-"

It was then S/O saw Aether and Paimon walk into view.

(S/O) "Well, perfect timing."

…

(Paimon) "Oooh, Aether, look!"

(Aether) "Hm?"

The two looked at an older woman who was cooking food near a small stand.

(Paimon) "Excuse Paimon, but what are you cooking?"

(Woman) "Ah, this here's takoyaki!"

The older woman began explaining what it was to Paimon who was listening earnestly.

Aether wanted to listen more, but he felt something was…off.

His battle instincts were kicking in, making him ready to grab his sword.

(Aether) "…Ma'am, please stand back."

(Woman) "Huh?"

(Paimon) "Aether?"

(Aether) "…"

Aether's attention turned to the barrel behind the group.

It shook and made Aether adopt his battle stance.

The lid of the barrel lifted, revealing S/O with a sinister grin.

(Aether) "Oh god please no-"

(S/O) "AETHER-CHAAAAAN!"

(Paimon) "OH, NOT THIS LOONY AGAIN!"

Aether immediately got ready to fight, but S/O strolled up to them with a spring in their step.

(S/O) "Come on now, that ain't no way to treat a friend! I just came to ask a favor!"

(Aether) "So why's your knife out?"

(S/O) "Why is your sword out?"

Aether frowned at the question, sheathing his sword.

(Aether) "Guess if you wanted to fight you'd have done so by now."

(Paimon) "Paimon supposes thats true. They don't normally talk this long."

The woman squinted her eyes at S/O, as if trying to recall something. Aether noticed, but didn't mention it.

(Aether) "What do you want? And no, you can't have my glider."

(S/O) "Nah nah, nothing like that! The shit I got for ya is WAY more important."

(Paimon) "Uh huh…"

(S/O) "I need you to take 2 takoyaki to the Kamisato Estate!"

(Aether) "…Why them in particular?"

S/O waved a finger to them, shaking their hear

(S/O) "Nah nah nah nah! I'm giving you a quest, you take without question and get paid!"

(Paimon) "Paimon has a looooot of questions.-"

(Woman) "My goodness, aren't you Miss Kamisato's friend from that one time?"

S/O froze up, which everyone took notice.

Aether in particular saw the panic in their eyes, even though their face remained the same.

They turned around, trying to seem intimidating as their voice growled at her.

(S/O) "…Eh? The hell ya say, granny?"

(Paimon) "Hey! Leave the lady alone-"

(Woman) "It is you! I'd recognize how you say that word anywhere, only you can say it with such hostile yet thoughtful intent!"

The woman eyed their clothing up and down.

(Woman) "What in the world are you wearing? What happened to that nice black suit you had when you were with-"

(S/O) "ATATATA! QUIET GRANNY!"

Aether noticed before S/O spoke to the woman, they quickly sheathed their knife and their voice dropped a few octaves.

It was less exaggerated and a lot deeper pitched than how they normally spoke.

(Paimon) "Now Paimon has even more questions! S/O knows Ayaka?!"

S/O turned to Aether and threw him a bag of Mora.

(S/O) "Listen, just do me this ONE thing alright? Teleport your ass to the Kamisato Estate and give that to Ayaka, alright?!"

They stomped off out of sight, leaving the older woman slightly confused.

(Woman) "Still as bashful as ever I see."

(Aether) "Do you know S/O, ma'am?"

(Woman) "Vaguely. Miss Kamisato speaks highly of them all the time, but I never expected them to be the 'Mad Dog' people have been talking about!"

(Paimon) "How do they know each other?"

(Woman) "That is something you'll have to ask her yourself. But, the two came by last year and they were such a gentleman! When I said they were a keeper, they got all shy, especially when Miss Kamisato agreed with me, haha!"

Aether and Paimon looked at each other.

(Aether) "Do you mind if we come by later to pick these up for Ayaka?"

(Woman) "Going to go after them, are you? Well, do be careful! I'll have these piping hot by the time you get back!"

(Paimon) "Thanks, miss!"

(Aether) "Thank you very much, we'll be back!"

Aether and Paimon ran after S/O further into the city.

S/O walked through the streets, finger on their chin.

(S/O) "What does Ayaka want for her birthday? Could always ask Yae, but she'll think I'm pullin' her leg. Maybe Thoma? Ayato's too much of a hardass, so-"

(Aether) "Hey, wait up!"

Aether and Paimon walked up to them, making S/O curious.

(S/O) "Hey, I gave ya a job, didn't I? No slacking off!"

(Aether) "Oh come on, we know something's up now. No use in hiding it anymore."

S/O sighed, shrugging but accepting their fate.

Their voice stopped being as high pitched and reverted to a calmer deeper voice.

(S/O) "Fine. It's Ayaka's Birthday today and I want to get her something. Satisfied?"

(Paimon) "Why do you care about Ayaka of all people?"

(S/O) "What? Thought I didn't have any friends?"

(Aether) "Not any that were that high up."

(S/O) "…Wait a second, you were the guys who went with Ayaka during the festival!"

(Paimon) "Ooooh, someone's jealous!-"

Their voice suddenly went back to the higher pitched 'Mad Dog' tone.

(S/O) "Keep that shit up and I'll shove my knife where the light doesn't shine."

Paimon quickly went behind Aether as he just raised an eyebrow at her.

Turning his attention back to S/O he replied.

(Aether) "I am. She had fun, you have my assurance."

S/O's shoulders seemed to relax.

(S/O) "She better have. Anyways, you guys have talking to her a lot recently. You got any idea of what she wants?"

(Aether) "Truth be told, I think what she wants most is just some company. Well, that and to go someplace she hasn't been."

(S/O) "Company, eh? I dunno if I can be satisfied with just company."

(Aether) "Well, the festival on Ritou still has a bunch of things left over. Maybe there's-"

(S/O) "Shit, that's right! They got all sortsa cute plushies! Yeah, that'll do!"

(Paimon) "Sounds good! Let's go-"

(S/O) "Nope. You ain't followin' me. Go give her the takoyaki like I asked, lazy bums!"

(Aether) "If we do so, then can we hear how you know Ayaka?"

They took a long look at the duo, then finally shrugging.

(S/O) "Maybe. Now get!"

The two finally out of their hair, they made their way to Ritou.

…

(Ayaka) "Aether, Paimon! What an unexpected surprise."

(Aether) "Happy Birthday! Here's a present."

(Ayaka) "Oh, thank you so much! Though, I think I can only eat the one takoyaki."

(Paimon) "Oooh, if you can't then-"

Aether elbowed Paimon, making her stagger and almost fall to the ground.

(Aether) "It's actually not a present from us."

(Ayaka) "Oh? Then who would get me-"

Ayaka stopped midsentence failing to hold back a gasp.

(Ayaka) "…S/O?"

(Paimon) "You two DO know each other!"

(Aether) "Hm. That'd explain why you never said anything bad about them despite what everyone else thinks."

She smiled as she looked off, fondly remembering their time together.

(Ayaka) "Yes. S/O is a very important person to me. And if they got takoyaki, then that means they received my letter."

(Paimon) "Where was Paimon's invitation?"

(Aether) "Read the room. She wanted some time alone with S/O."

Hiding her giggle behind her mouth, she turned to Paimon.

(Ayaka) "I would not mind celebrating my birthday with you two another day. I'm sure you are busy yourselves. Oh, but where is S/O right now?"

(Paimon) "They were going to Ritou last they said."

(Aether) "We should probably check in how they're doing."

...

(S/O) "What the hell am I looking at?"

S/O held in their hand some strange Fontaine toy, shaped like a...spider? An egg? Honestly they were completely bewildered by it.

But the colors of it was a nice icy white. Just like Ayaka's hair. The stores were sold out of plushies, so they had to improvise.

(S/O) "Tch, damn it, Ayaka. Advanced warning woulda' been nice."

(Man) "HEY! YOU THERE!"

(S/O) "Eh?"

Turning around S/O saw a man in glasses looking extremely angry.

(Man) "Lemme see that toy you got!"

(S/O) "You know what this thing is? Honestly, I ain't got a fuckin' clue of what it-"

(Man) "That right there is a limited edition Apparatus!"

(S/O) "...That does literally NOTHING on telling me what it is-"

(Man) "IT'S MINE, THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"

Paimon and Aether entered the scene to see the two arguing. Well, the man anyways.

(S/O) "The hell you on about? I just bought it myself! Though, that'd explain why the thing was like 4,000 Mora...-"

(Man) "FOUR THOUSAND?! IT COSTS 50 THOUSAND!"

(Paimon) "My gosh, it's so noisy-...Oh hey! It's an Apparatus! We have that exact model."

(S/O) "Oh, hey-Wait really?"

(Aether) "Yeah, we were the reason it's in production, actually."

(S/O) "Huh, what haven't you two done by now? So, why's this guy throwing a tantrum over it?"

(Man) "Because I am a collector, you don't even know what it is!"

(S/O) "It's a birthday gift, ya dickhead! Now piss off."

(Man) "WHY YOU LITTLE!-"

(Paimon) "S/O, WATCH OUT!"

S/O dodged effortlessly to the right as the man's punch overshot them, and he fell to the ground.

(S/O) "Wow, throwing punches over a toy? Get a life man."

(Man) "I'm not done with you!"

(Aether) "Er, S/O. Go ahead to Ayaka's we'll handle this."

(Majima) "Roger, owe ya one!"

S/O ran off towards the Kamisato Estate, with Aether and Paimon talking the man down.

S/O managed to get fifty feet away before encountering another problem.

(Treasure Hoarder) "ANOTHER TEST SUBJECT!"

(S/O) "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

After dealing with the group of Treasure Hoarders, S/O dusted off their leopard-pattern coat.

(S/O) "Anything else wanna come after this little goddamn toy?"

Hearing mechanical whirring behind them, S/O slowly turned around to see a Ruin Guard activating.

Aether and Paimon ran in behind them, out of breath.

(Paimon) "Geez, first that guy, then treasure hoarders now this?! Are you sure that toy isn't a cursed relic?!"

(S/O) "SURE AS SHIT FEELING THAT WAY!"

(Aether) "Get to Ayaka, we can't risk it getting broken!"

(S/O) "R-Right!"

One hour later...

S/O was bruised, slightly on fire, electrified, wet, and all other manners of messed up.

Aether and Paimon looked equally exhausted as they approached the door.

(Ayaka) "My goodness, S/O! Aether!"

She ran over to them on the verge of panicking.

(Ayaka) "What happened?!"

(Paimon) "SO...MANY...ATTACKERS!"

(Aether) "But...it was worth it! S/O?"

(S/O) "Ta-daa...! Your birthday gift!"

S/O held it out triumphantly in front of Ayaka.

(Ayaka) "You went through all that for a birthday gift?"

S/O laughed in their signature crackhead style.

(S/O) "You know it! And it didn't even get a scratch!"

Ayaka's gift quickly disintegrated in her hands from the stress of battle.

(S/O) "..."

(Aether) "..."

(Ayaka) "..."

(Paimon) "OH COME ON!"

(S/O) "I hate my life."

Ayaka couldn't help but giggle, making S/O suddenly perk up.

(Ayaka) "Don't worry. I think I got my real birthday gift here."

She held out a hand towards S/O, making Aether realize they were the third and fourth wheel right now.

(Aether) "Well, you two have fun! Come on, Paimon."

(Paimon) "We went through all of that TO NOT EVEN GET CAKE?!"

Quickly teleporting away, they were left alone. S/O immediately exhaled as their voice deepened.

(S/O) "...Sorry I haven't dropped by lately, Ayaka."

(Ayaka) "Come inside, I'll patch you up."

S/O hadn't been inside the Kamisato Estate in what felt like a lifetime.

She gently patched up their wounds, making S/O think back on the memories they had here.

(S/O ) "Ow!"

(Ayaka) "Sorry, was I pressing the cloth too hard?"

(S/O) "Nah, just stings like a bitch. But it's worth it, I think."

Ayaka smiled before she wrapped her arms around them.

S/O relaxed into her embrace, taking slower and deeper breaths.

(S/O) "You been doin' alright without me?"

(Ayaka) "I've been getting by, I think. I've been worried about you, S/O. Ever since you left."

(S/O) "Heh, can't imagine why. When your boyfriend/girlfriend starts screaming like some kinda idiot on the streets, anyone should be."

Ayaka softly hummed as her arms remained in place.

(Ayaka) "You didn't have to go. We could have taken everything on together and-"

(S/O) "No. Not with the risk of you getting hurt because of me. Especially when the Vision Hunt Decree was happening. I couldn't live with myself if you ended up like Makoto."

(Ayaka) "..."

S/O turned around to face her, getting to her eye level by dropping on their knees.

(S/O) "If I have to leave again to make sure you're okay, I will."

(Ayaka) "But-!"

S/O hugged her tightly, interrupting her train of thought.

(S/O) "But...I don't have to. Thank the gods I don't have to."

She hugged them back, and both of them stayed silent as they held each other.

A year of not being able to speak made Ayaka's heart ache more than she thought it could.

And now, she planned to make up for lost time.

(S/O) "I missed you too, Ayaka. You're helpin' me take care of a year-long knot. And...I've been thinking about what to do with my future. I know want you here with me."

Her eyes widened.

(Ayaka) "S/O..."

(S/O) "Yeah yeah...I know this kinda talk doesn't fit me. Hell, might just be the moment makin' me so damn emotional."

(Ayaka) "S/O!"

They backed up, laughing.

(S/O) "Sheesh, I know you missed me but at least let me finish a sentence!"

(Ayaka) "Y-You're on fire!"

(S/O) "Psh, yeah I am! Don't ruin my sappy strea-"

(Ayaka) "NO, LITERALLY ON FIRE! YOUR SHOES!"

S/O quickly turned around and saw their dress shoes were engulfed in flames across the room.

(S/O) "OH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

...

S/O sprawled out on the bed next to Ayaka, completely deadpan.

(S/O) "Some kinda birthday this is."

(Ayaka) "Heh, well...At least I got what I wanted.~"

Sighing, S/O rolled over to her.

(S/O) "You wanted me and my shit to catch on fire?"

(Ayaka) "N-No but-"

(S/O) "Relax, just teasing. Shush for now and let's sleep. We'll get plenty of time to decide what to do."

Ayaka's heart gently pounded, but she held onto S/O like there was no tomorrow.

(Ayaka) "I'm so happy you're here again."

(S/O) "Me too."

They held onto each other, saying nothing else.

(Ayaka) I wonder what they're thinking about...Maybe they're like me, thinking how our arms feel wrapping one another...Hah, how cheesy of me.

(S/O) I am SO PISSED about my shoes. And more importantly, why did everything wanna kill me over that toy?!

[littlemissnoname13]

Hello can I request where draco in fourth year having a crush on a hufflepuff reader but acts as arsehole cuz he doesn’t know how to show affection , leading it to her avoiding him which makes him depressed about what did he do wrong ?

Hi love. Thanks for the request.💕

I love writing Draco x hufflepuff!reader stories! I am a sucker for a slytherin x hufflepuff pairing.

I added a few extra details here and here. Hope you like it. X

Hopeful (Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader)

Word count: 2100 sorry got a bit carried away. 😅

Warnings: None. Soft!Draco being an absolute blubbering idiot.

Draco’s thoughts are written in green

Spring had arrived. 

It could be felt in the cool and gentle zephyr that made the shiny new leaves on top of the once barren and dead trees rustle. 

Daisies were in full bloom and the wind had managed to carry some of the petals away—making them fall to the ground, acting like a harbinger of the fast approaching summer. 

Draco couldn’t be bothered if it was spring, or autumn or winter. 

In that particular moment, all he wanted to do was get away from the Slytherin common room and Pansy Parkinson. 

He had taken her to the Yule ball and things had sort of fizzled out afterwards. He couldn’t get himself to see her as anything other than a friend. 

Having ran all the way to a far and secluded area of the Hogwarts grounds, Draco leaned against a tree trunk and panted heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. 

“Are you—are you alright?” 

Your voice startled him and he quickly stood up straight to look around. 

You were sitting criss-crossed on the grass with your transfigurations textbook opened on your lap. Your shirt sleeves were rolled up and your yellow and black tie hugged very loosely around your neck. 

“Fine.” He muttered as he slowly sat down noticing a single daisy tucked behind your ears. 

After sitting there in complete silence for the next few minutes, he finally spoke up. 

“What are you even doing here anyway?” 

“Just wanted some peace and quiet to be honest.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s a beautiful day.” 

Draco just hummed in response and kept staring at the daisy in your hair that swayed lightly with the breeze. 

“What?” You asked when you noticed. 

“You have—you have a twig stuck in your hair.” 

“A daisy.” You corrected him as you closed your book and moved a bit closer to where he was sitting. “It’s a daisy.” 

“Yeah I know that. I’m not stupid.” He said quickly. “But why?” 

"Well, Daisies are essentially two flowers blended together in complete harmony." You said pulling the daisy out of your free falling hair before putting your hand forward to hand it to him. 

“And?” Draco reluctantly took the flower from you and blinked his eyes in confusion. 

“They are said to resemble innocence—true love even.”  You explained getting comfortable next to him.

“You believe in all that?” Draco scoffed, twirling the flower between his index finger and thumb. He couldn’t tell if the floral fragrance was coming from you or the air but it made him slightly queasy nonetheless. 

“Merlin. No.” You scrunched up your nose. “It just gives me hope I guess.” 

Draco gave you another hum in response. For someone who came up with snarky and sometimes witty comments on the spot, he found himself weirdly tongue tied. 

“I know you were hiding from Pansy by the way.” You remarked, making a small smile pull at his lips. 

“How come?”

“What do you mean how come?” You rolled your eyes. “Everyone can see that she is obsessed with you for some reason that I personally can't seem to comprehend.” 

~~~~~

The next day during potions class, Draco slowly opened his book and started to absently doodle on it with his quill while Snape talked about the upcoming potions essay that had to be done in pairs. 

Draco knew he should be paying attention but he just couldn’t get the interaction between you two out of his head. 

And just when he took a deep breath and decided to focus, a familiar scent started to fill his lungs up. 

Fruity, almost spicy notes of strawberry and pink grapefruit mixed with gardenias, vanilla and musk. It felt like someone had tossed a huge bouquet into the room. 

He knew it was you without even bothering to look up from my book. 

"Ah, Miss y/l/n. Late again." Snape muttered. “Five points from Hufflepuff house.” 

You quietly sat down next to your friend with your head hung low and Draco fought an unexplainable urge to give you a hug. 

"The essay must be done in pairs.." Snape said.

Great. 

"Ronald Weasley and Gregory Goyle." 

This is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks Snape. 

"Blaise Zabini and Hannah Abott." 

The last thing I need is someone weighing my essay down. 

"Draco Malfoy and y/n y/l/n." 

What? 

You turned back to look at Draco and gave him  an apologetic smile and he didn't understand why you kept smiling at him. It's not like the both of you had suddenly formed an unlikely bond with each other. 

Draco scowled at you in return and quickly raised his hand. "May I work on my essay alone?" 

"No. You may not Mr. Malfoy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Draco had been studying in the library for almost an hour. Because you were quietly sitting next to him, his elbows and knees slightly brushed yours every few seconds and as much as he hated to admit it, He secretly enjoyed it. 

Contrary to yesterday, Draco was trying very hard to make a conversation with you. You seemed somewhat offended that he had asked Snape to work on the essay alone. 

“I am happy to do most of the writing if you can look up all the ingredients.” You offered.

You don’t have to do all of that yourself. I am happy to help with the writing too. Is what he should have said. 

“Fine whatever.” He said instead as he reached for a copy of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. 

That night, Draco stayed up tossing and turning in his bed before giving up on getting any sleep for the night. 

He lethargically walked towards his dresser and put his hands in his blazer pocket pulling out the now dried and pressed daisy from the other day. 

Taking a deep breath, he put the flower in between the pages of his copy of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. 

You were drawing him in, undoing him, unraveling him even. 

He knew that. 

But did you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Draco! Open up." 

His head jolted towards the door and He quickly walked over to open it. 

You stood on the other end with books tucked in your arms, wearing your denim shorts and a plain white tank top—looking like summer personified. 

The more time he spent with you, the more he started to notice your quirks. Like that the way your skin glowed as the days got warmer. 

Compliment her. Do it. It’s not Difficult. 

“Did you do something different to your hair?” 

“Uh—no why are you asking.” 

“It just looks a bit strange.” He commented wanting to slap himself. 

"Okay, well are you going to let me in?" You questioned, wondering why he was blocking the way and asking you about your hair. 

Why did you have to wear that God damned tank top-

"Sorry?" You asked stepping inside making his cheeks burn when he realized he wasn’t meaning to say that out loud. 

"Just shut up and get back to working in the essay or whatever it is that you were doing." Draco grumbled feeling embarrassed as he grabbed some fresh parchment. 

Okay. Focus. The Strengthening solution requires...

You stretched a little and pushed your hair away from your face. 

several days to mature...

"Staring is rude Draco." You suddenly interrupted his thoughts as you set your eyes on his—peering right into his soul.

Draco felt like he was giving you some sort of power over him and the possibility of you using that power and leaving him heartbroken made him feel so very vulnerable.

He couldn't take the vulnerability a second longer.

 "I don't think we should study together anymore." He blurted quickly standing up. “It's for the best.”

"Huh?" You stood up contorting your face in total confusion—wondering just what you had done to piss him off. "What's wrong Draco? Did I do something wrong?" 

"Leave. Now." He muttered with his teeth clenched. 

Please don’t go.

"Just go—leave please."

You couldn’t help but feel a sharp sting burning your insides as you gathered all the books that were on the floor and ran made your way towards hufflepuff dormitories with tears threatening to flood your eyes. 

As soon as you ran off, he punched his wall and muttered out the plethora of angry curses when the impact bruised his knuckles.

~~~~~~~~~~~

During the following week, Draco failed to show up to any of your shared classes after you had refused to talk to him after what happened. 

Even if you did manage to see him walking down the halls or walking with Crabbe and Goyle, you noticed that he looked like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. 

On a Tuesday, Draco looked at the Hufflepuff table during breakfast and when you caught his eye, all you did was look away. 

Everyone at school had their opinions about him—most of them weren’t good opinions. 

But when you were with him under that tree, he seemed different. His smirk was more playful than condescending. It managed to charm you in a way. 

You took a final bite of your toast and gathered all your books, walking to your Potions class. 

His seat still remained empty and you shook your head, trying to snap away from the thoughts of him as you flipped open your book. 

Only it wasn’t your book. 

You didn’t remember writing on the margins and making annotations on your book. 

Running your fingertips along the pages, you flipped to the very first page of the book. 

D. Malfoy was written in ridiculously neat handwriting and you shook your head when you realized that you had grabbed his book with you that day by mistake. 

And just when you were about to put his book away, something fell from in between the pages and fell onto your desk. 

It was the daisy you had woven into your hair the other day. Even in its dried state, the petals remained intact like her had done something to keep them that way.

When class was finally over, you made a quick beeline towards the slytherin dungeons, bumping into people along the way. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Some hufflepuff girl is standing outside the dungeons asking to see you.” Theo shrugged when he saw Draco at the common room sofa. “Says it's urgent.” 

He felt terrified yet so elated as he quickly stood up and made his way outside. 

“Here’s your book.” You said taking a step towards him. “You never told me what’s wrong by the way.” 

“Thank you.” Draco quickly took his book from you and stared at the ground. 

“Why did you stop talking to me y/n?”

“You told me to go away—If I remember correctly.” You said shaking your head at him. “Tell me Draco, what’s wrong?”

“Everything.” He said quietly, meeting your gaze. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You make me feel all weak.....and smiley...and I hate it." He looked at you with agitation.

"Weak?" You ran your  fingers through your hair in confusion. 

"And your ridiculous white tank top." Draco half yelled. 

"What's wrong with my top?" You asked, raising your voice slightly as if you had had enough of this. 

"Nothing is wrong except for the fact that you look stunning in it.” He blurted involuntarily. "It is absolutely distracting when one is trying to study!." 

He watched you open your mouth in shock and close it. Before he could spend another minute trying to solve the riddle that was your expression, you grabbed him by his tie and placed your lips on his. 

His brows furrowed as he kissed you back tenderly. Tasting the sweetness of your lips—pouring out every bit of suppressed passion and adoration he felt for you with his lips.

There was something so strange and euphoric about finally kissing someone he had been longing to kiss for so long. 

Something so magical about holding the person that fits perfectly into his arms. 

Freaking Finally. 

He was slightly disappointed when you slowly backed away, but the glow on your skin and the glossy ness in your eyes made him smile. 

"I guess I'll leave before I realize the consequences of what I have just done." You said softly as you held his face and placed a small peck on his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, you found a tiny box and an envelope on your desk when you woke up. Your roommate let you know that Draco Malfoy had stopped by late last night when you were asleep and half begged and half threatened her to leave the box on your desk. 

You slowly opened the box and found a bedazzled and whimsical looking daisy necklace, encrusted with gems.  

A Daisy for my daisy. 

You give me hope.

- D.M

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco Taglist: @dracomalfoyisindahouse @dracomalfoys-wh0re @maybesandohnos @justfangirlthingies @desiredmalfoy @dlmmdl @trainintersection @fa-me @dracoswhore007 @paulina1998 @wh0re4blaise @marrymetheonott @quacksonsssandtea @letoof @rvaldez7569 @loloo22 @emma67 @berriemalfoy @thegaudess @itchywitch33 @louweasleymalfoy @lunar0se10 @savagelysarcasticslytherin @fleursbabe @teawineaddict @thebitchybeatle @malfoyxxdraco23 @fantasyfairysworld @trashyvicks @h0ggyw0ggyh0gwarts @l0vely-lupin @linasylveon @amwitherspoon @the-bisexual-bitch

Love you all sm. (if i was unable to tag you, please look into your privacy settings)

Fell free to send me reuests. My other stories can be found here.

Join my taglist here.

- violet-Anne