#i feel like i could do one with one of the iv ones and that fucking. great mic poke.

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[tbaluver]

Santa Baby- The Love And DeepSpace Men

pairings: xavier x fem! reader, zayne x fem! reader, rafayel x fem! reader, sylus x fem! reader genre: smut + drabble summary: santa gives you the gift of pleasure the night before christmas a/n: hihi lovelies ! i'm trying out this new layout but literally just for the holidays bc i dunno if i can do this for each post lols ive seen so many of my fav writers do this on every fandom so this is inspo from them !! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ rest of my a/n will be down below (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

‘twas the night before christmas, fruitcake, peppermint candy canes or any holiday food could never compare to the taste of your cunt debunked by santa xavier.

the warm glow of the fireplace casted both your shadows on the walls, yet the room was ridiculously hot. both of your bodies were sweating in a tangled mess. xavier situates your legs around his head, trapping him to the spot he thirsted so much for.

your limbs trembled as he rubs soothing circles on your thigh as he admires your leaking cunt. you felt like a mess under him, yet he wouldn’t have it any other way.

one arm pressed down on your hips while the other was used to pump his fingers into you. your mind was dizzy, not knowing which to focus on. his mouth and fingers were doing wonders that created butterflies in your stomach.

you tug against his hair, earning a soft groan that sends vibrations over your cunt. he licks a wide stripe from your entrance and up to your clit, collecting your sweet juices on his tongue while keeping his eyes on you.

he pushes his tongue inside of you, groaning from your taste. you buck your hips up into the air but his arm around your hip gently pushes you back down on the carpet. his thumb rubs on your clit, making sure to apply the right amount of pleasure that causes you to moan in pleasure.

there is nothing xavier wants more for the holidays other than giving you pleasure. he knows exactly what to do to get that reaction out of you.

his tongue consistently draws patterns on your wet slick while occasionally sucking on your clit. you yelp out a moan when he inserts two fingers inside of you, groaning softly when he feels how tight you are as you clench around his fingers.

his fingers pump in and out of you, curling to reach your favorite spot before his tongue dives back in, sucking on your clit. you were a moaning mess below him, tugging onto his hair as you kept bucking your hips up. you felt that familiar coil building up on your stomach, your walls squeezing around his fingers.

he watches you with half lidded eyes as you release your load around his fingers. after you ride out your high, he removes his fingers out, sucking the juices of your cunt.

nothing comes close to you all year long

Zayne:

‘twas the night before christmas, the mugs of hot cocoa were left abandoned, growing cold. the plate of cookies was surprisingly left half eaten. stockings that you wore were found on the floor along with zayne’s and the rest of your clothing trailing up to the floor of the fireplace. santa zayne has arrived but he is not finished just yet.

zayne swears he saw the most beautiful angel ever. no, not the one on top of the tree but the one on top of him. tits bounced joyfully that made him feel like he was dizzy. your pussy clenched around him, milking every drop of him and yet he couldn't get enough. his cock rock hard as you slide up and down his length, taking every inch inside of him in your belly like the good girl you are. 

he swears the way you were dripping for him and the countless orgasms you’ve given each other, he might as well just keep you on the good list for your entire life if you kept doing this. his mind completely forgot that the reason this all started was that you were a naughty girl for trying to shake around the boxes under the tree. 

a small lazy smirk curled on the corner of his lips as he held you, helping you bounce on his cock. his eyes half lidded as he admires the markings that littered all over your body, each and every one of them illuminating from the lights of the tree.

he isn’t that far behind from you. he watches your eyes roll back and your mouth open wide. with a breathless moan of his name, signals him that you reached your orgasm which makes him do so as well. the clenching and pulsing of your walls around him sends another bucket loads of his cum painting your insides milk white.

you looked absolutely breathtaking. your movements were slow as you continue to bring yourself down from your high as you both catch your breaths. he gently pulls you down to rest comfortably in the crook of his neck, keeping himself plugged in you.

you both were lost in your own world until the chime of the clock struck midnight, breaking the silence between you both. you tilt your head slightly, your cheek still resting on his broad chest as he tenderly brushes your hair. with a small smile, zayne whispers, “merry christmas my love.”

Rafayel:

‘twas the night before christmas, the tree was decked out and full of presents, big and small but one particular present caught your eye. a present that was too big to gift wrap.

there stood your boyfriend with a christmas hat and nothing on but wrapping paper wrapped around his sculpted body, specifically wrapped around his cock.

“well aren’t ya gonna unwrap me cutie?” he winks, tilting his head.

wrapping paper scattered across the floor and it didn’t take long for your present to be up and running. effortlessly, it didn’t take him long for him to peel off your clothes.

you sank to your knees on his carpet, positioning yourself in front of the tree where he laid out pillows for you to be comfortable. before you point your ass up to the sky, you take one last look at the ornament in front of you that reflects rafayel pumping his cock behind you.

he admires the sight laid out before him, a smirk curling on the corner of his lips. grabbing the base of his dick, he rubs himself between your ass cheeks, his pre-cum dripping on your skin. he spreads you slowly, a breathy chuckle escaping his lips when he sees you arch yourself more to press yourself onto him.

rafayel sinks slowly into you, letting you feel every inch of his length and vein going inside of you. he lets out a soft groan as he looks down at the way his cock disappears into your tight cunt as he pushes himself deeper, earning a whiney moan from you.

he starts off with a slow tempo, letting you get used to his length before his hips start slamming against yours. his hands roam around your back while occasionally squeezing the plush of your ass. he knows he’s fucking you good from the way your moans sound.

“yeah just keeping takin’ all of me cutie, just like that,”

the mix of your words slur together, “‘s good raf- so good!”, along with every sound that escapes your pretty mouth as he watches your ass bounce back rhythmically against his pelvis was sending him to overdrive.

your moans were muffled from the way you were face down into the pillow, drools spilling out of the corners of your mouth as each thrust sent you closer to climax.

he held you firmly in pace, his hands gripped on your hips, feeling your gushy walls constrict his massive cock. the familiar coil was winding in your stomach as you chased your high, rafayel wasn’t that far behind you either.

with a few hard thrusts in your walls you came around his length, rutting your hips more to milk out his cock before your legs buckled out. his pace slows as thick ropes of cum release into you, his hips roll against your ass to make sure no drop goes to waste. he keeps himself plugged into you as he plants a trail of soft kisses down your face and neck.

luckily for you, santa made sure you get an extra present that following night. a two for one if you will.

Sylus:

‘twas the night before christmas, and santa sylus’s little helper has been so good to him that she deserved her special treat early.

he removes himself in between your thighs, your arousal dripping down to his chin as he admires you. your pussy glistened in the warm glow of the christmas lights and from the flickering fire of the fireplace, your folds slick with arousal.

christmas was around the corner and this early present was meant for you but it seems like his also came a little too early as well. but it wasn’t finished just yet. santa sylus had planned a few more rides down.

once you were ready, you felt his swollen tip nudge at your pretty pussy, slipping in nice and slowly just for you. your back arched on his soft, fluffy luxurious carpet, pressing your chest against his firmer. inch by inch you felt his thick length enter deeper and deeper earning soft grunts fall from his lips.

you rock your hips under his, signalling him that you were ready for him to move more. you wrap your legs around his hips as he gently holds the back of your thigh to keep you in place and the other on the rug.

slowly, he rocks his hips with yours, keeping a steady pace. he captures his lips. picking up the pace slightly. sloppy thrusts and hungry lips, attempting to devour you, made your brain go dumb. between his heavy strokes and sweet kisses, you managed to catch your breath

his lips met your against, melting into your touch. the sounds of lip and skin smacking fill the room along with the fire crackling in the fireplace.

his hand tightens on your thigh while the other grips the carpet as he fastens his pace. grunts and small whispers that are cut off in pants, invade your ear. “so..so good..”

your velvety walls were so welcoming and warm. every inch and every vein of his length can be felt inside of you as it drags along your tight walls. beads of sweat drop down his skin as he focuses on making you finish first but the belly bulge he was watching go in and out of you was not helping him.

butterflies swarm in your stomach as pure ecstasy reaches deep down within you. your back arched when the constant thrusts of his cock became too much. sylus joins you, thick white ropes of cum spurted deep inside your walls.

he keeps you close, your foreheads connecting as you both catch your breath. his hips eventually come to a halt but he makes sure to keep his hips locked with yours so his seed wouldn’t leak out of you.

that’s one present off your christmas list and many more surprises he has for you.

a/n: hihi again lovelies ! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i moved it down here bc my entire yap is gonna cover the post ( • ᴖ • ｡) and before ANYONE mentions that this isn't giving santa baby from the song that's bc some parts are and some parts are not (ᵕ—ᴗ—) i referenced a lot of songs like nonesense christmas by sabrina, rocking around the christmas tree and just tried to use things from the holidays to make it smut related <(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)> i wanted to get this in before christmas bc i know some of you guys are going into christmas eve rn ! i hope you guys have a merry christmas and a happy holidays !! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )✧*｡

special thanks to my beta readers again @ilovemitsuya @deusfoundry @justwinginglife ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ !! mwah mwah ily all !!

[limethefirst]

Hellooo, i hope your having a beautiful day. I saw your requests are open and that you wrote for movie shadow once. Would it be okay if maybe i requested movie shadow x a reader who prehaps eggmans niece. Maybe then when its just shadow, stone and her on the crab prehaps she takes shadow to her room on the crab and trys to play and show him some of her stuff not scared of him. Then maybe she remind him of maria 🥹? Idk i have sonic brainrot after seeing the movie today lol and ive had this idea since.

Do I look like her?

pairings: Shadow the Hedgehogs x reader (platonic)

warnings: sonic 3 spoilers

summary: as the niece of Eggman you are left behind on the crab with Shadow as the men finish their mission, but every time Shadow looks at you he sees someone else.

a/n: hii thank you so much for the request! I’ve been wanting to write more Sonic 3 fics because I love the movie so much! I hope this is to your liking and you have an amazing day!!!

You watched your uncle Robotnik and Gerald walked away together, planning to sneak into GUN and steal the final keycard they needed, leaving you, Stone and Shadow.

“I have avocados in The Crab. Let’s go make guac!” Stone chimed, both you and Shadow turned your head to look at him.

“Revenge guac.” Shadow responded, his brows furrowed watching as Stone slowly helped you back into the sewer drain.

You were warned about Shadow, he was dangerous Robotnik had told you. Robotnik was somewhat caring when it came to you, he wasn’t harsh nor rude, he saw you as a responsibility but not a burden. He was kinder around you, maybe he saw a bit of himself, being all alone in a world that tended to abandon.

Whatever it was, you knew his warnings were usually right, but having been around the hedgehog for a while you honestly didn’t believe your uncle. Shadow, although seemed tough, you could tell there was more behind the persona and all the walls he’d put up.

Stone walked over to the island in the middle of the Crab, preparing the avocados for the guacamole he planned to make.

You took the opportunity to show Shadow around. Being the youngest of the bunch you didn’t have many friends and this was a chance to make a new one.

Quickly you walked in front of Shadow, a bright smile on your face highlighting the innocence in all your features, it was eerily reminiscent of someone.

“Come, I wanna show you around!” You told Shadow, grabbing his gloved hand unannounced, making him slightly more on guard. Stone looked up from the guac he was currently working on, he seemed happy; smiling at the two kids.

Shadow didn’t say much as you dragged him to your room, he just looked at you. Watching as your hand gripped onto his, he couldn’t help but hold on as well. Fearing that if he let go he may never find it again.

As he watched you near the closed door, he couldn’t help but take in all that you were, your demeanor, your way of speaking, your bright attitude, it was just like hers.

“This is my room!” Your hand started letting go of his but his grip only tightened. You looked down at his hand and back up at him as his eyes scanned the small room. You only smiled at his gesture, not feeling the need to point it out.

As you guided him around still hand in hand you saw his eyes checking every corner of the room, “It’s small,”

Your sudden laugh catches him off guard, his head quickly turning to see your free hand covering your mouth, “Sorry sorry! It’s just that’s the first thing you say to me?” You jokingly tell the hedgehog.

He watches you for a little bit longer, his eyes widening. As he stares up at you, all he sees is her. It wasn’t physical, it wasn’t that you looked like Maria, no not at all, it was the fact your personality towards him resembled her so much.

You weren’t afraid, you approached him and didn’t see him as a weapon or some type of lab rat. It was like he was really a person around you, like he was capable of caring again.

Shadow didn’t say much, and that was okay, you could do most of the talking anyway, you enjoyed being able to finally talk to someone.

You sat Shadow down on the floor, letting go of his hand so you could show him some of the toys and games you owned, knowing he lived 50 years in the past you wanted to keep him up to date on all the newer stuff that had come up. While you were grabbing some items you decided to also play a movie, it would be cool to show him the new films they’d come out with.

He silently watched you hurry around the room, dropping strange toys onto him. He felt some weird string toys get stuck in his quills.

You heard him rustle around, seeing him pull out your worm on a string, “Very colorful,” he grunted, as he tossed the toy in the pile in front of him.

All you did was smile as you sat in front of him, describing each toy and how they worked, as the latest Godzilla movie played in the background.

It was ironic really, back then Godzilla was a monster and now he was a friend protecting the people from the other monsters.

He no longer sat with Maria watching movies and playing games, now he sat with you. Oh how things really have changed.

[goldandrosered]

sooo i didnt really think of anyyyyy.. (i hate logo design, and thats basically what cutie marks are LMAO) (also im lazy lol)

BUT

i do have some rough ideas!

i feel like my jimmy would be a blank flank since hes a changeling, and so therefore doesnt have a cutie mark since the magic is pony-specific (as far as i remember). i also like the idea that changelings can be perfect mimics of others, except for the fact that they cant copy cutie marks properly / at all, so its an identifying feature of a mimicked pony is if they have a distorted/missing cutie mark - kinda like how people in folklore were warned to count the number of fingers a person had if they suspected they were fae? a perfect replica, apart from one detail that is slightly off..

also, i feel like hes not creative enough to come up with a fake cutie mark for himself, so he just keeps his flank covered and hopes people dont notice

for curly, ive seen a couple of people give him spaceship/rocket-themed cutiemarks, but i personally disagree, because i feel like it would be more interesting for him to have a more non-specific cutie mark since hes not sure about his place as a captain/pilot, but hes still unsure about what to try instead? maybe he would have a weightlifting/winter sport -themed mark since he’s genuinely passionate about those, maybe mixed in with a heart motif to represent his caring nature?

i feel like anya could go either way: shes very passionate about becoming a doctor, but “isnt good enough” to be one according to most people (including medical school). so she could actually have a medical-themed cutie mark due to her determination in trying medical school and her competence and passion (natural talent) in medicine despite failing med school due to struggling in some areas, or she could have a cutie mark completely unrelated to being a doctor, explaining why she struggles in that field so much

if youre lucky, i may sketch out some concepts of their cutie marks, but im not making any promises haha

heres a link to more of my ramblings explaining more choices i included in the designs! (mostly name symbolism)

I LOVE MOUTHWASHING

*throws mlp tulpar crew at you*

closeups:

[drewdoa]

─────────⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺─────────

── .✦ # 𝒚𝒐𝒖 • part 1 ; viktor

── .✦ a/n: hey!! so i decided to mix two of my favorite shows together!!! it’s definitely different from what i would usually write but i think it’s such a cool mix and the thought of viktor being obsessive is like rotting in my brain..i hope you enjoy this and tell me if i should make more!!

── .✦ extra info: no gender mention, obsessive behavior, harmless stalking, might be a bit inaccurate to their canon characters

{ inspiration taken from the show “you” on netflix ! }

viktor has always been the type to stay kept to himself. he doesn’t bother anyone or talk to many people besides jayce and you. rotting away in his lab at almost every opportunity presented.

..almost. he’s got a small hobby he tends to every so often, he doesn’t like to talk about it much since it’s a way for him to “de stress”. you’ve noticed lately he carries a what looks like a sketchbook that’s filled to the pages ends with things he’s been doing. pictures, and stickers and pen scribbled all inside, what else could he be doing? scrapbooking you thought!

one lazy morning though, around the crack of dawn basically, viktor was caught up in that book. going through page after page, admiring his past works. they all look similar. about the same..person?

you watch him carefully from a distance, in the hallway where his lab leads. what is so important about that book? why can’t jayce know about it? why can’t i know about it? are you hiding something crazy from me? do you feel like id judge you? all of these things race through your mind, though you reassure yourself with the fact it could just be something personal and you must respect that.

what are you so infatuated with. finally it’s about time you try and mention it, to test the waters if you will.

⌗˳⳿⤏ “viktor?” your mouth spits out, a bit of a distance between you two.

he’s caught just a bit off guard by your voice, he then relaxes just enough to give you a proper response.

“yes?” his body then turns to you, his chair fitting his body perfectly as he comfortably leans his arm on the armrest.

“i just wanted to check on you since you’ve been here for..a little while again” you take a pause before glancing at his prized possession before back at his face.

“i’ve been caught up with studies and working, im sorry i didn’t warn you beforehand. but you should be here too you know.”

“i’ve noticed you’re a fan of journalism too hm? a little expected though” you say as you step a little closer to him.

“…it’s been something i do on the side, i didn’t think you knew about journaling. you do most of that with jayce and his phone with a drink in your hand”

you freeze at his slick ass comment. as much as you wanna flick him in the forehead for it, you can’t, cause he’s right. you and jayce have been drinking quite a lot lately instead of focusing on the projects in which viktor has done most of your work.

“if i had the right to beat your ass i would’ve.” you reply while folding your arms. you take another glance at viktor’s book and there’s a familiar face in there. it looks hand drawn, a little accurate to..

“if you don’t mind, i’ve got work to finish, some that you should be helping with but there’s no point now..come back later. and bring my “partner”, i’ve got a lot of work for him.” his tall lanky figure rises from the chair as he grabs his cane, walking to the doorway and taking you with him.

“maybe one night i could show you what ive been doing..i think you’d enjoy the cage.”

✮⋆˙ hello!! i hope you liked this post :)) i was planning on making this like my own little series!! do let me know if you’d like a second part or any other requests (my asks are open <3) :D -drew

[multifandom-exe]

Leather Jackets and Ketchup ‘Mishaps’- S.Black x Reader 

Word Count: 2.7k (my longest yet :p)  Request: hey there! can i get one with prompts 79, 174 and 175, with Sirius, please? thank you!  Prompts: 79. No its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes”  174. “Did you see what she was wearing?”  175. “So what if I had sex with your ex?” 

A/N: this is a rewrite of an old fic from nearly 5 years ago. Find the terrible original here. Lmk if ive improved.  Warnings: None rlly, swearing, kissing, marlene hate (sorry marlene your my wife but youre sacrificed to the story) 

 A hogsmeade weekend! Practically the only thing keeping the students of Hogwarts from pitching themselves off the astronomy tower during their 6th year. You and Lily had planned to meet up with the boys later on for some drinks an some shopping, definitely spurred on by Lilys growing affection to James (no matter how much she denies it). 

You stared into the full-length mirror stuck to the wall. It felt as though something was missing in your outfit. Youd worn your favorite today, but it still didn't feel like enough. Lily sat on the bed behind you, looking as perfect as ever. 

“Can you stop hogging the mirror please, i need to do my makeup!” She nudged you with her leg that was hanging off the bed as a giggle bubbled up from her throat. 

“My outfit is not suffering because you want to look nice for James Potter!” You turned to her with that sly look as her face dusted rosy, pink, whilst she spewed phrases of denial. 

“Well, my makeup is suffering because you want to look nice for Sirius.” Now it was your turn to gasp.  

She had this idea that you were in for it with Sirius. You disagreed of course. Sure, i mean, you had feelings for him, you liked him. He was funny, attractive, and almost as smart as you. But it had been 6 years, if there was going to be any movement on that front, besides flirting that could make Casanova blush, it probably would've happened already. You were trying to let it go, but its difficult when you see him every day. 

“Not true! You know he doesnt like me like that, im totally over it!” You began observing yourself in the mirror again, as she gave you that, ‘whatever you say’, look. “Speaking of, though, a nice leather jacket is just what this outfit needs, do you have one?” Lily agreed and turned to look into her trunk for a jacket.  

“No, sorry sweetheart”.” You jutted your lip out and frowned a little. There goes your perfect outfit.  

After a little more observing in the mirror, whilst you watched Lily apply her makeup on the floor, the obvious thought entered your head. “You know who does have a leather jacket.” That mischievous smirk littered your face. “Sirius.”  

Lily then put a head in her hands, and you could see her reaction in the reflection of the mirror. “Sure you don't have a thing for him?”  

“Shut up lils, your just jealous of how goooood im gonna look.” You guessed Sirius wouldn't have a problem with it. Youd shared a lot of things over the years. Blankets, books, food, tea, you name it. 

She chuckled at that and finally stood up, giving herself a final glance in the mirror. “You know the boys will have a fit when they see you in that.” 

You rolled your yes, laughing softly. “Yeah, because those boys are the authority of fashion.” 

She giggled at that too, before picking up everything she needed for the day. “Well, whilst you commit grand larceny, im going to go get my pancakes!” She drawled sarcastically as she turned to leave.  

You muttered a soft goodbye as you also grabbed everything you needed. The boys had said before that you were free to use their dorm whenever, although Remus did add ‘Not for nefarious purposes Casanova’. You slipped out of your dorm, your boots hitting the floor with purpose. A woman on a mission. A leather jacket mission.  

The door to their dorm creaked open slowly, as if you were trying not to wake them. but you were surprised to see they weren't all still asleep right now, desperately savoring every extra 5 minutes. 

 Their dorm was an exact reflection of each of them. Vinyl records of the latest rock bands on the walls. Books and chocolate strewn about. Stubbed out cigarette butts (Don't tell Minnie). Dirty shoes and outfits from the last quidditch game. Mugs of tea forgotten about. It was so them. Everything you loved about your friends, all perfectly wrapped up in one little room. You made a mental note to spend more time here. 

As your eyes glanced around the room, you finally spotted it, dangling across the back of a chair that was pushed against his desk. It was surprising that it was actually here, since Sirius was very rarely seen without it. It had S.B written on the back in big white letters, and various patches from bands. But according to Mary, ‘the back of my outfit isn't my problem because i can even see it’. 

You slid it across your shoulders and instantly felt more comforted. The familiar scent that you loved enveloped you. You turned and checked yourself out in the boy's mirror. Now this was a complete outfit. Perfect for a Hogsmeade weekend. 

You slipped back out of the boy's dorm and started making your way down to the great hall for breakfast. 

You pushed open the heavy doors to the great hall, the smell of fresh breakfast food immediately hitting you. You skipped down to the table, going to meet up with the girls to discuss the future Hogsmeade antics.  

You giggled as you jogged past the marauders. With the prettiest smile, you waved to them. “Hi boys, don't cheap out in Hogsmeade later!”. You rushed to meet with the girls, oblivious to all the eyes that were on you. 

As you sat down, the boys, who were a little further up the table, all sat gawking at you. James nudged Sirius excitedly. “D’ya see what Shes wearing mate?” 

He had seen, which is why, when James had asked him, he had barely been able to form a response. He had felt the wind be knocked out of him as he saw you giggling and waving, clad in his leather jacket. It was almost like he was in a trance, raking his eyes over every inch of your frame, wondering how on earth that happened. And how he could get it to happen every single day. His thoughtfulness was broken by his friend's voice belting across the table. 

“Oi, (Y/N), you look absolutely astonishing in Padfoot’s jacket!” The sound of your name made you whip your head up, as you giggled with a blush coating your cheeks. Just as quickly as he had shouted, Lily had shouted back. 

“Dont be jealous James, just because you don't want to share him!” This caused all your friends to burst into a fit of laughter, all except one. Marlene was holding a firm glare at you from across the table. 

The boys vehemently questioned Sirius for the next 5 minutes. Questions of ‘did you know she was gonna wear that?’ or ‘did you finally make a move?’ or ‘i bet you're loving this’. The latter wasn't really a question, more a very correct observation which made him blush. 

Their conversation was cut short however, when they heard a clatter of plates from a little way down the table. They all snapped their heads toward the sound and found you and Marlene glaring at each other across the table. If looks could kill, wow. It had honestly only been a few minutes since you arrived, and they were all puzzled as to what could've happened in such a short time. 

And then, as if you were reading their minds. “So what if you had sex with your ex?” Came from you, as you flicked your head to the side condescendingly. The boys' jaws dropped; they probably would've hit the floor if there wasn't a table in the way. James looked as if he was watching the best soap opera of his life. 

Sirius and Marlene had a fling a few weeks back. It obviously meant more to her than him. And through the pangs of jealousy, you had comforted her. But it seems that wasnt enough for her, she wanted you to drop Sirius entirely. 

Sirius felt a jab into his ribs, and he quickly dragged his eyes away from the scene. “Ow!” He mouthed silently, trying not to disturb the tension. Remus rolled his eyes and mouthed back, ‘did you actually sleep with her?’. Now it was Sirius’ turn to roll his eyes as he whispers. ‘Obviously not, you know she doesn't like me back’.  

‘Yeah, he wishes. Peter added quietly, which caused Sirius to blush and tut, before they all turned their attention back to the scene. 

“Listen, im sorry he didn't want you, but that's no reason to treat me horribly, because he wants me now, is it?” The condescension in your voice was enough to grate on anyone who was on the receiving end. 

“Not wrong on that one.” Remus whispered quietly, causing Sirius to whack his arm lightly. HIs heart rate sped up like crazy. Did you know he liked you, all this time? Or where you just trying to get under her skin. The thoughts felt overwhelming.  

And then, It almost felt as if time slowed, as they watched Marlene snap. She grabbed the jug of pumpkin juice on the table and dashed it all over you. You had an utterly shocked look on your face. Not just because you were covered in pumpkin juice, but also because you were slightly impressed, she stood up for herself.  

But alas, war does not stop because of bravery. Your hand quietly slid a bottle of ketchup under the table as you spoke. Marlene had missed it, but it didn't get past Sirius. “You know Marlene, I wouldn't wanna ruin that pretty fake blonde hair of yours.” You laughed cynically, lifting the ketchup bottle.  

That second, Sirius jumped from his seat and ran down the table, grabbed your waist and hauled you up in his arms. He was already dragging you away as you pressed down on the bottle, squirting it all over her. 

“Ugh! You Bitch!” She screamed as she desperately tried to rub the ketchup from her face, with the girls next to her trying to calm her down. 

You laughed maniacally as you struggled against Sirius's grip while he carried you out of the great hall. Phrases of ‘let go Sirius!’ and ‘it wasn't my fault!’ fell from your mouth. Youd eventually stopped struggling about halfway to the common room, accepting your fate. 

When you finally reached the common room, he dropped you lightly onto one of the couches, and loomed over you, like a teacher about to reprimand you. 

“Sirius! Why did you drag me out of there I was winning?” The adrenaline was still clearly running through your veins as you laughed. By the look on his face, he did not find it funny. 

“(Y/N). You’ve just lost your friendship with Marlene, and potentially just sacrificed your friendship with Lily and Mary.” That definitely soured your mood. Suddenly, it wasn't very funny. “Why, in Godric Gryffindors name, did you do that?” 

You threw your hands down on the couch and pouted. “You wouldn't get it, Pads.” You sighed and tried to turn away from him. 

He had crouched down to your level now, turning you back to him with a hand on your knee. “Oh yeah, what’s so possibly bad that it warranted staining a girl, apparently fake blonde hair, news to me by the way, red with ketchup?” You tried to hide your giggle at his comment and did your best to keep silent. “Seriously, did she insult you or something? Whatever it was couldn't have warranted that.” 

You sighed again as the argument replayed through your head. You could already feel the anger building up in you again. “You should’ve heard what she was saying about you Sirius, it was all ‘he’s this, he’s that’ And then! She insinuated I slept with you, for my own personal gain, not because I liked you, not because Im in love with you, she thought I did it for bragging rights! Which is absolutely ridiculous by the way. Anyone who uses someone for bragging rights is absolutely disgusting, especially if they use you. So no, her insulting me wasn’t enough to warrant ketchup hair, but insulting you was!”  

You were bordering on shouting at this point, although your anger was misdirected. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your shaking hands. After a beat, you lifted your head to look at him, worried youll still find an angry look in his eyes. 

Instead, he was gaping at you. You furrowed your brows, questioning the incredulous look on his face. 

“You said you loved me.” He whispered lightly, worried if he spoke too loudly the words might crack his resolve.  

Your eyes widened as you studied his features. “I did not!” You tried to insist but the shock caused it to come out smaller than intended. 

“Yes, you did! You love me!” A smirk spread across his face as he pointed a finger at you. There was another beat of silence, before you jumped up from the couch and tried to run away from him. 

“Come here!” Unfortunately for you, his tall stature was not just for show, as he quickly caught up with you.  

He caught up with you as you rounded the couch again, pushing you down onto it. He had you captured between his arms. All he did was stare at you, into your eyes. 

“Im sorry your jackets covered in pumpkin juice.” You spoke softly in the space between you two. 

“It's fine i just...” His eyes racked over your figure once more. “I just can't believe your actually wearing my clothes.” 

You giggled in response and muttered low apologies. 

“Plus, I like the taste of pumpkin juice” He smirked, capturing your gaze again. Obviously, you didn’t get the memo, as your response was… 

“Taste? I know you're a dog, but you don't lick your-” but your words were soon cut off by Sirius’ voice. 

“For once in your life, be quiet!” He chuckled lowly before leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss. It was slow at first, soft, almost anticipatory, but it quickly sped up, almost like it was 6 years of emotions spilling out into one kiss. 

“I love you too, by the way” He breathed out as you broke apart, your foreheads laying against each other 

“Well id be very upset if you kissed somebody you didn't like, like that” You giggled, lightly running your hand through his hair. 

“And i love seeing you in my jacket by the way. But maybe next time tell the truth, and dont antagonize and cause a scene.” His reprimand fell short since he had the dopiest grin on his face. “But thank you for standing up for me.” 

You didn't think your grin could get any wider, “Of course.” You lay another kiss on his lips. Maybe Lily was right, you are definitely in for it. 

 Bonus 

The portrait hole swung open as James, Remus and Peter tried to search for their friend. Who was wrapped up in his own little world with his sweetheart on the couch. 

They stepped through as James tried to shout up to the dorm. “Pads? We're going to Hogsmeade soon!” His shout wasnt answered, so he glanced around the room. He found you two nuzzled together on the couch, only breaking away at the sound of his voice.  

“Oh, Christ alive, Pads get a room! Peter cover your eyes!” James wrapped a hand around his friend's eyes as you and Sirius burst into a fit of giggles on the couch.  

“Were coming!” You both untangled from each other and shifted off the couch. 

“I cant believe that was what got them to confess! A jacket! D’you think it would work the same if i wore Lilys clothes?” And with a smack of the back of his head from Remus, the group left to finally enjoy their Hogsmeade weekend. 

A/N: lmk how i did, leave requests for any hp character. comment for taglist. i love u

[bkgexe]

if all else fails, i was myself

bakugou x reader ✾ 4.6k

info! no smut sorry gang ✾ tw! trust issues that manifest as issues w physical intimacy/contact, dubcon in its vaguest definition (NOT bkg & reader) ✾ notes! ive been in perpetual writers block for months. is this trite idk. i miss my baby but anytime i write for him im like oops this is gonna be 60k words!!! so here is. a drabble lmao. also big lmao moment this is titled after count me out by kendrick lamar ldskfjdlkjf which was on repeat while writing so uh sorry mr. lamar abt the mha fanfic

katsuki has always known that part of him is wrong.

he’s never liked being touched. every kiss he’s experienced has made him tense as an elevator cable poised to snap. any attempt to go further than that has made him a little ill, made his gut feel like a stack of loose papers being torn to shreds, slow and loud.

it doesn’t help that he’s only ever had three kisses in his life: eijirou at a new year’s party (too many teeth), eijirou again at another new year’s party nearly a decade later (too much tongue), and then his fourth date with kyoka (when he tried to convince himself he just had to push through the discomfort to become normal).

things went further than that. it was a mistake. they both knew it right after it happened—kyoka first, and then katsuki after his head stopped pounding with what if i'm doing this wrong what if she's pitying me for fucking this up what if i don't know how to touch another person correctly what if i was supposed to learn at some point and i missed it how could i fucking miss it will it always be like this because i can't do this again i can't i don't—

“kat," she said after. she looked at him with something only a few degrees removed from pity, and poorly removed at that.

he attempted a halting non-apology. he attempted a real apology. failed at both.

"it's okay, you know," she said. "to not like it."

he scoffed even though he wasn’t entirely clear on what she meant by it, because there was so much he didn’t like. “i like it just fine.”

“if that was liking it, I’m honestly worried about your capacity for enjoying life in general.” it wasn’t a joke. her bluntness was something that'd made katsuki think he could push his boundaries with her. all of her thoughts were laid out plain for him to read, an open-source journal. “i'm just saying you don't have to like it. and you don’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. don't fuck yourself over for someone else's happiness.”

kyoka still texts him often, checks in, invites him to drinks with their friends. she’s kind. she’s normal. she doesn’t have this weird, shredded thing inside her that makes her balk at the idea of someone’s hand on her skin. that makes her think she's doing something wrong, even if she's not the one that initiated the touch.

when you started your job at the front desk of katsuki’s agency, he never thought that he'd be here, wishing above everything that he could just be normal. just for one fucking day, so he could laugh at your shitty jokes and maybe brush his knuckles across the back of your hand in passing and take you on a date where he could kiss you in his car after driving you home and the thought wouldn’t make his skin crawl, wouldn't tear up his insides to pulp.

because he fucked everything up. he's standing in his empty office where you'd been spending time with him and he fucked it up and hurt you and he's not sure how to unfuck it.

the thing is, he could grin and bear it. he could deal with the odd thing inside him that hates the contact and white-knuckle it through every kiss, every caress. but he’s never been a great actor. he wouldn’t be able to hide that from you.

(kyoka told him, years later, that it’s not that the sex itself wasn’t fine—what made it nearly unbearable for her was the fact that she could tell, only after it was too late, that being physically vulnerable with her pained him far more than he was willing to reveal.)

no one wants to feel like the person they’re with is grinning and bearing it. that they’re white-knuckling it through. katsuki knows this. he knows he’s basically a fucking virgin all but in title at thirty and that he’s got the personality of a dried-out fig you find in your fridge weeks after its last edible moments. he doesn't have much to offer.

but he walked into work one day and nodded at you, curt, a grimace on his face—and you smiled at him so kindly that his stomach twisted.

with you, it wasn't the feeling of something being torn apart. it was different, lighter. leaves wrenched into the sky by a strong breeze. still a kind of tearing, but different—less destructive.

he was wearing a deep carmine sweater his mom sent him in one of her bi-monthly care packages (as if he’s not an adult, and a pro-hero on top of that), and you said, “that’s such a nice color on you. is it new?”

there was that breeze inside his chest, strong, pulling at his bones. “yeah,” he grunted. then slowly, as if remembering how: “thanks.”

it was the attention, he thought at first, that piqued his interest. he wasn't used to it. people always watched him from afar, and he had fans online that were borderline obsessive, but people didn’t approach him. they didn’t say that’s such a nice color on you. they didn’t smile the way you smile.

he’s always had a shallow streak. it’s not like he doesn’t know this. it’s become a little muted over time, a little discouraged by the visible scarring on his face and body from his time in the field, but it’s never fully been eradicated. so it was simple, he thought. you paid him attention and stroked his ego, and he preened like a self-obsessed bird of paradise.

and then you started making these little origami whale sharks.

fucking stupid. it bothered him an annoying amount. you had a bunch at your desk, all different colors and sizes, some taped to your desktop monitor, some hung up with little pieces of string under the desk's storage overhang. you drew dots on the back of each one, a distinct spotted pattern that was unique for each shark. and you made them for everyone but him. eijirou bought you a pack of high quality origami paper and you made him his own fucking school, all with little faces, winking or surprised or angry, their wide paper mouths gaping and empty, the lines of their bodies pressed careful and sure.

he hated it. it was annoying and a waste of company time and he usually didn’t ever use dumb corporate slogans like “a waste of company time” but you were really pushing his fucking limits.

it was definitely just the attention he liked, he told himself, because surely someone doing something as dumb as this would annoy him to no fucking end if he spoke to them.

and then he spoke to you and he was wrong.

he asked why you made the damn things in the first place and you told him, “i like whale sharks. but to be totally honest, i just run out of things to do."

and he saw that as a challenge. you were running out of things to do? rest assured he could find more shit for you to take care of. so he did. tasks that he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, they were so dull and time-consuming. and you were so achingly competent that it drove him up a fucking wall. you completed everything he asked of you in half the time it would take someone else, and you always reported back with a smile, and you always did good work, and he could see himself having a conversation with you about something other than work but he didn't want to try because he was worried he'd begin to like you as a person.

you're pretty. really fucking pretty. he can see that now, and he sure as fuck saw it then. you're hardworking. you're just likeable, and that's something katsuki had never been. it (reluctantly) impressed him. worse than that, it turned his feelings for you into a sort of interest.

but he knows he's not normal when it comes to things like this.

he tried to distance himself from you because of it, but it turns out that asking someone to do work for you means you do have to speak to them sometimes. and sometimes turned into a lot of times.

sometimes turned into bringing him coffee in the morning, not because he asked you to, but because you're sweet like that. sometimes turned into being the person he bounced ideas off of when he had a board meeting coming up or something otherwise boring and meticulous. sometimes turned into you laughing at his prickly comments rather than going quiet because of them. turned into you saying suck it up, dynamight, this is what it means to be the boss when he complained about doing paperwork.

sometimes turned into staying late with him at the office, getting take out for the two of you to share while you finished filing claims and damage reports and other stuff he hated taking care of by himself. sometimes turned into him asking you to stay late just because he wanted you there. because even when he was quiet, you'd tell him about your day, about things that happened in the office, about how much you like the book you'd both been reading. he loved listening to you talk. felt comfortable enough to tell you things about himself when he'd never felt comfortable doing that before.

sometimes turned into you holding out a piece of fried tofu from your take-out container for him to eat while he was approving time-off forms that he should have looked at much earlier that week, and you being so close that he could notice how good you smelled, and the warmth of your body basically radiated towards him, like all your energy was focused on him, and your smile was small but somehow even more lovely than usual, a secret for him to tuck away and keep, and when you finished feeding him and he had a little sauce on the corner of his mouth and you reached forward to wipe it off for him and your hand lingered there for a moment and your eyes fell to his lips and what if you try to kiss me and i'm wrong and you hate me for it and what if i can't give you what you want and what if i'm not actually what you want what if i've disappointed you already what if—

it was too much.

so he fucked it up. your thumb was so soft against his skin. he reeled backwards in his chair, rolling it whole feet clear of you, and he felt the tearing again, the bad kind, like paper unevenly shredded by clumsy hands, and he had to leave. he had to leave. he needed to leave so badly that it felt like pulling his skin off would be preferable to being in that office with you.

hiding in the bathroom was fucking pitiful. he remembered his breathing exercises. he remembered to ground himself. and when he came back to his office, you were gone.

if he was normal—and he wants to be normal, god fucking damn—he could have stomached your proximity. he could have eaten out of your fucking hand. he could have touched you back like a normal person probably would have and he wouldn't be here, alone, looking at a little purple sticky note you left him that says i finished organizing the pto forms. i hope you feel better!

he doesn't know whose pride you're trying to save with that. as if you didn't leave because he made things so fucking awkward by running away from you when you touched him. when you—maybe, if he was reading the room correctly—were about to kiss him.

and you don't speak to him for days. he doesn't want to push so he doesn't—just watches you out of the corner of his eye whenever you're both in the same room, which is arguably worse. he's not sure. he's just itching to fucking talk to you because he misses it.

he misses you. in a more-than-friends way.

it takes a while for him to realize this. when he does, it hits him like a metal rod up the side of the head. it's fucked up of him to miss you the way he does when he doesn't feel like he can provide you with the things a normal person could. and though he's worked on his patience over the years—worked on understanding that he can't have everything he wants—it doesn't stop him from being selfish and finally pulling you aside to talk.

and baffling as fucking ever, the first thing you say is sorry. "i know i should've talked to you about it earlier. i just—i shouldn't have done that. and i know it. i shouldn't have assumed that—i don't know. that you..."

you look helpless. it's one of the very few times that katsuki has ever felt the compulsion to touch someone. not because he wants the touch, per se, but because he wants to be able to provide comfort. he never figured out how to do that with words. he's so focused on his inability to comfort you that he barely has any idea of what you're actually talking about. instead of doing anything at all, he just stands there like a fuckwad.

"i just want you to know that i would never—like never—have touched you, or tried to... if i didn't think there was like, a vibe?" you shake your head, exasperated with yourself. "god, even that sounds so bad. i'm sorry, i just—"

"wait, what are—?" and then it clicks, because he's been slow on the uptake figuring out his shit when he should have been focusing way more on yours. "there was..." katsuki says, and he fucking hates that he can't find better words for what you were both feeling in his office, "a vibe."

the way your face changes when you're flustered is one of katsuki's favorite things, but it's not as enjoyable when he feels just as flustered as you look. "i—oh? so... so you—?"

his ears feel like they're being attacked by two heated straightening irons and he knows they're red as hell right now. he's gonna have to say this plainly even though he'd rather get his teeth pulled out one by one with a pair of pliers. "it's not you."

your expression loses any sort of hope it once held. you press your lips together and sigh, maybe a little exasperated. he's doing his best here but he knows his best is shit. "i can handle a non-cliché rejection," you tell him. "honestly, i'd prefer a non-cliché rejection—"

"i'm not trying to reject you," he says, and it's selfish of him. because he's really not. he isn't comfortable with the things you'd want from him, but he still wants you in some capacity. "i just don't—do shit like that."

"kissing?"

somehow knowing for sure that you did want to kiss him in his office makes him want you more. he likes that you're bold. he likes that you're not ashamed of that. he wants to be different than he is. "any... of it," he struggles to admit.

"at all?"

he nods.

"just—like touching, and stuff?"

it sounds so juvenile that he can't help but laugh through his nose, roll his eyes. "yeah. touching and stuff."

"oh."

you're disappointed. of course you are. it's not like he expected anything different, but—sometimes he fucking hates his life. hates that he can't be the thing people need him to be. hates that trying is so difficult, that it flings his stomach into space, like a throwing stone skipping across a still lake.

"so you don't go on dates, or anything."

"haven't tried."

"do you not want to?" you ask, and he can tell it's more of a genuine question than anything. you're curious about him, like you always are. it's more than he deserves, for all he can offer.

"doesn't make sense to."

"that's not what i asked."

it's not. and so katsuki listens as you ask your question again, and he really takes a moment to think.

considering the answer to your question leads him to his first date with you. and his second, and his third—his fourth, and he's keenly aware that his last fourth date ended with what he expects all dates are supposed to end with.

he takes you to the aquarium. because of all the fucking origami whale sharks. you still haven't given him one and it sticks in his craw like a bone. in front of the backlit tank that holds sharks of all types, shapes and sizes and teeth he's never pictured possible of a living creature before, he asks, "why sharks?"

you look at him, brow raised. "i don't know. they probably needed the biggest tank in the aquarium. and this looks like the biggest tank."

"no, dumbass—your sharks. the ones all over the fuckin' office."

"what, you don't like them?" you ask, but you're smiling, sly.

he shrugs. he thinks they're dumb as hell. he wants one to hang up at work, like the ones you've got hung up at your desk. "they're whatever. they clutter the fuck out of ei's office. and he's already got issues organizing." you've just made eijirou so many at his point, and it's getting ridiculous. "but what—are they easy to make, or something?"

you laugh a little. "no. not at all, actually." a whale shark swims by, its spotted hide shimmering in the tank's eerie blue lighting, and you watch it intently. "but it'd be boring if it was too easy."

this date ends with him walking you home from the aquarium a few blocks from your apartment and you smiling at him and telling him that you had a really great time, and he feels like a fucking freak because you don't even expect more. you don't wait for a kiss. don't look disappointed that he doesn't try to give you one. the way you look at him holds so much affection that he doesn't deserve and he has no idea how to reciprocate it to you, and somehow he lands on, "make me one."

"one what?" you ask, but he thinks you already know what he's asking. you like to play coy. he likes it when you play coy. when you're enjoying yourself.

"one of your little fuckin' paper things," he mutters, because admitting that he wants one of those dumbass sharks feels somehow demeaning. he doesn't want you to know how much he's wanted one. "ei's got a million of 'em."

your hand was on your door handle, but it falls to your side. he's keenly aware of its proximity to him. he doesn't feel that terrible ripping in his gut and its absence is almost frightening to him. your fingers tighten into a fist. it's cold out. "ah, and you're jealous?"

"no," he says, knee-jerk. "i just don't get why everyone gets one but me."

you smile when he says this and he could live in this image of you, delicate and small and made for him. he goes home and thinks about it until he falls asleep. thinks about it even beyond then, feels that strong breeze inside him tearing every leaf from its grounded perch.

here's the thing—nothing against jirou, but unlike his other fourth date, this one was enjoyable. more than. he loved watching you be amazed by the size of the whale sharks, and he loved watching you put a bunch of coins into the penny press and cranking the machine until one was squeezed out into the pattern you wanted, and he loved watching you lay your hand against the glass where the rubbery wings of a flood of stingrays battled for your attention, and—

he loved watching you. that's weird, right? he sounds like a fucking lunatic thinking that.

but he does. he hadn't realized until now how difficult it had been not only to touch people, but to look at them. maintaining eye contact, watching someone do a simple task out of interest instead of staring them down in an attempt to intimidate them. he's so much more fucked up than he thought but what makes it bearable is that he can do it with you. he can watch the way you enjoy things and feel like he's not intruding on something he shouldn't. without even trying, you make him feel welcome—wanted.

that's it. you make him feel wanted.

the realization affects him in a way he doesn't understand. at work the next day, when you smile at him over the top of the front desk, he feels something incredibly strong—something like instinct—that tells him to touch you. small. a thumb brushed across your cheek. his fingers grazing yours. he wants it in a way that can't be right because he's never wanted to touch someone like this.

he doesn't do it, but he thinks about it all day. your little smiles when you notice him watching you on your dates, the way your fingers graze your lips when you cover your laugh, the softness in the way you regard him. you're quiet, reserved, but when you laugh you laugh hard. he wants your soft, your quiet and your loud, he wants the feeling of your fingers on his lips, he wants your smallest smiles, all things he wishes he could fold up and keep and later display somewhere he can always see them. a school of paper fish, gaping mouths and drawn-on spots and such carefully pressed lines.

so on the eleventh date—(he knows it's ridiculous to count, but he's never spent this much time with one person before, not like this)—he reaches for your hand when you're walking alongside the bay, the air turning cold in the wake of the sunset that the two of you had just witnessed. that's romantic, you'd teased when he asked you to watch it with him. he'd rolled his eyes, shrugged you off.

but maybe he wanted it to be romantic. maybe he wanted to make this as normal as possible for you because nothing has been normal between the two of you so far.

you pull back when he reaches for you, as if on instinct. look up at him, confused, when he reaches out again. "katsuki..." you say, and it sounds as if he's done something wrong.

he tries not to let his brain spiral but thoughts drip inwards. water meeting a dented hull. what has he done this time? what else has he fucked up by being fundamentally wrong?

"you know..." you start, and you lose your words.

he thinks of kyoka, years ago. it's okay, you know. to not like it. he wonders if you'll still text him like she does.

your lips pull into a frown before you speak and katsuki can't breathe. "i was never gonna ask on my own because i know you don't like talking about things like this if you don't bring it up. but—um. katsuki—do you think i expect something from you?"

"huh?" he asks, dumb. breathing is something he fails to do.

"i know that this is—different. i know you have some things going on that make the physical part hard for you." you look up at him so earnestly, and he loves looking at you. he loves looking at you and doesn't want to have to stop and he's worried that this is it. the moment he'll have to stop. you try to smile and it's small and he wants it all for himself. careful. delicate. secret, for him. "i'm not gonna lie to you. i don't know what a relationship without that kind of stuff looks like. but that doesn't mean i'm not willing to find out. it's—i don't need you to try to do something you think i want you to do."

"i'm not."

"it makes me feel a little sick, kat. honestly. it makes me feel like, i don't know—like i'm taking advantage of you, or something—"

"you're not."

"you don't have to do things like that to keep me around." you look flustered, eyes darting from his face to the skyline. "if you want me, i'm—you know."

it's okay, you know. "i don't know."

"i'm yours," you say, and cringe immediately at your words. "or like—i could be, you know, kind of whatever you wanted, if you—if that's what you want. would want."

katsuki can only remember a few times when his head was this quiet in the presence of someone else. when he trusted someone enough to let his mind go blank, to let himself act on instinct. "can i kiss you?"

you sigh. "this is what i was saying. i don't want you to—"

"no," he says, quiet, and he's closer to you than he's ever been. he likes the way you smell. he's not gonna apologize if that's weird. "i just want—god, i feel pathetic asking again. can i just—?"

just, just, just. just a touch, just a kiss, just a moment of your fucking time—it's all he wants. and he's never wanted like this. he's never trusted like this. his head has never quieted entirely because he's so sure that he's not going to disappoint you, or be something you don't actually want, or be wrong.

you've shown him that he can't be wrong with you, regardless of whether or not something within him is broken.

your lips are warm, a little chapped from the dry air, and he tries to remember what kissing chastely is but it's like something breaks in him further the second the two of you touch. his hands are cradling your face, his tongue is gliding against your tongue, his teeth are clacking against your teeth, and he knows the kiss is bad and wrong and messy but he suddenly needs it. he needs to feel you.

you make a noise against him and worry slices into his stomach before he realizes it's a quiet, breathy moan, and maybe you've been okay without the touch but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it when you receive it. he can tell he hasn't made his boundaries clear enough—your hands circle his wrists, too cautious to go further, too hesitant to grip him like he thinks you want to. like he wants you to want to.

his teeth hit yours again and you laugh, and he pulls back, stomach tight. there's a hope in him that's ready to be torn.

you see it in his face—the fear. "i love kissing you," you blurt out, as if it's the only reassurance you can think of in the moment. "i mean—you're just." you laugh again, and he realizes it's nerves. you're just as nervous as he is. "can i—can we go somewhere warm? and maybe do this more? or—if this was enough—"

he's pulling you towards his apartment before you can get another word out.

kissing you is easy because you make him feel like it's relatively new for you as well. maybe that's how it feels for everyone every time, but he wouldn't know. he just feels comfortable with you. like you're not so much better than him, like you're not waiting to laugh at him when he fucks up, like you're touching him because you really want to.

so he takes you to his apartment and puts you on his couch and kisses you until your back is against the armrest and he's looming over you and you feel comfortable enough that your hands stray from his wrists to his shoulders to his hair and he didn't even know touching someone could feel like this.

put aside the fact that he's nearly finished in his fucking jeans three times just from your fingers running across his back, from the way you cup his cheek when he pulls back for air because he keeps forgetting to breathe—just having you close is intoxicating. he wants to bury his face in the curve of your shoulder, he wants to bite marks into your skin that'll stay vibrant for weeks, he wants to etch himself into you so deeply that he doesn't have to leave. these wants aren't even sexual—it's something about having you be his. i'm yours, you'd told him, and he hadn't even known that it would be exactly what he needed to hear.

he's in love with you, which isn't shocking to him, but he knows he shouldn't be in love with you yet because people that aren't fucked up in the head don't feel shit like this so quickly. he's not gonna tell you this for a very long time, but he knows—so completely and confidently—that he will reach a point when he can tell you.

"you sure you want this?" he asks, breathy, between kisses.

you stop kissing him, brows raised in surprise. "katsuki, we don't... this is a lot for one night. we can take it slow, still."

"that's—i'm not talking about that." he gives in, then—lets himself bury his face in the crook of your neck, lets himself breathe in deep, lets himself find your hands and intertwine your fingers, and you can probably feel that he's hard as fucking metal for you but that's not what's important right now. it sure as hell makes it awkward to try to have a serious conversation, though. "you sure you wanna deal with all... you know. my stuff."

"are you sure you wanna deal with all of my stuff?" you counter, and he pulls back to look at you. kissed rotten and smiling. "of course i want to deal with it. i like you."

and he likes you too. god, he likes you so fucking much.

the next morning, long after you've left for home, he finds a little orange whale shark hidden behind the alarm clock on his bedside table, stars in the place of eyes, and the trace of you is enough to make him feel warm. to hope that over time his apartment becomes full of the little paper creatures until his home is its own aquarium, until everywhere he looks is a memory of all you've brought him—pieces of you, perfectly arranged and delicately folded by your careful hands, much too gentle to tear.

[bloodfiendarling]

𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓽

pair — rich student!reader x lecturer!ratio

wc — ~600

contains — dom reader, sub character, cock can be seen as a strap, written with mtf reader in mind, porn with little plot, college au, blowjobs (reader receiving), teacher x student (both adults), blackmailing, dubcon, power imbalance, picture taking

i cant get him out of my head all week .. oh my god . i need a hot lecturer to suck me off bad .. euhg ... gomen ... ive been staring at pics of him .. and now i cant sleep because of him . ratiosama , youre so pretty .. please let me hit . pleas eplease please please plea

also ..! my short requests are back open as of posting this ..!!! :D feel free to hmu on my inbox >_<

you flip through the pages lazily, looking bored out of your mind. the book you were reading.. agh, how boring. you couldn’t understand why ratio found it so interesting. and ah — seems like you found the page he left himself off on.

“so,” you used your leg to push against your professor’s head, making him choke a little before adjusting. as soon as your leg relaxed ratio finally slipped your cock out of his mouth, coughing — you made sure he didn’t move an inch. “what’s so interesting about this book, anyway?”

he stayed quiet at the question. not a talker, huh?

well, you understood his reasons. he’s been failing you for so-called incompetence. purposely screwing you over just because he didn’t like you.. well — at least you managed to get him into his position. choking on your cock in your dorm of all places. maybe not having roommates was a good idea.

all because you had some suggestive pictures of him you got.. with your own ways. not like it mattered how. “sooo, ratio..” placing the book down beside you on the couch, you lean down and grab onto his face, forcing those reddish-pink eyes into a death glare. “you gonna improve my grades or what?”

he just looked at you with that same, pissed off face. the one you’d see whenever you passed him by the hallways. yeah, he really wasn’t a talker. hah.

you sighed, waving your phone at him — showing off those pictures again. you swore you saw his eye twitch. “you want me to spread this, or, like —”

you turned your phone around, adjusting it onto his face — making sure the position was clear as day. dr. veritas ratio, between someone’s, no, his student’s legs to take cock like a good boy. it was almost amusing.

“what are y—” he almost wanted to lash out. but he knew better — not only was his entire career in your hands with just a few pictures, but you had daddy’s influence. you could most definitely ruin his life even more. only blackmailing him was probably a relief with what you could be doing to him. “you gonna comply or not?”

he nods — rather reluctantly. it felt horrible to obey. he wanted to do at least something to somehow defend himself, but it’s not like he can. “so be a good boy, will you, veritas?” prying open his mouth with one hand, the other was tangled onto his dark, purple hair, positioning it better so he could suck you off.

“you pissed me off, you m’gonna make you do more, yeah?”

with those words, you forced him to bottom out on your cock. he choked and coughed — but god did his throat feel good. you could see those pretty eyes rolling back with his brows furrowed, both hands on your thighs to push himself off only for you to get rougher.

you guided his head, bobbing it up and down your dick. even if you could tell he was inexperienced with his mouth — damn it still felt nice. that soft tongue of his swirling around your cock, messily coating it with his saliva. after you’ve gotten a good pace on him, he started doing it on his own accord. it felt kinda nice to be forcing him down your length, but this is fine.

finally — he was able to spit out your cock — coughing again. “aghck– hnnng..♡” suddenly, he looked like he was the one trying to seduce you. looking up with those eyes, drool running down his chin with his tongue lolled out like a pathetic little doggy. you didn’t know — nor care, if it was intentional or not — you could not just pass this opportunity and not snap a pic. was this a prestigious lecturer or a slut? you almost couldn’t tell.

oh you’re sure you’ll be seeing him like this more often.

hsr masterlist ♥︎

[barbiedemonaco]

as promised— some girl!driver fashion moodboards !!! starting off with my personal favs charles & george & lewis ❤️🩵💜

lengthy explanation + some more headcanons for each below:

i *personally* believe these three would be very traditionally feminine so this is reflected in my choices again this is all according to my *personal* headcanon which might not be the same as yours and that’s ok.. and yes they wouldn’t be decked out in designer/editorial 24/7 they’re athletes so they’d most likely live in puma or nike tech or lululemon or something idk but if they made as much money as their canon counterparts they might as well serve cunt on a daily basis idc this is my blog and i make the rules

charles

- warm autumn; lots of red obvi i don’t care that canonically charles’ favorite color is blue You’re Red Because I Say So

- i feel like she would get a little quirky and avant-garde with it… she does not have a single plain white tshirt it’s All statement pieces

- following up with the last point some of the cuter stuff i found were cropped tops and all that but i also wanted to pay homage to boy charles who’s a cozy mouse so we also have some cute sweaters in here for her..

- didn’t know how to showcase this here but she wouldn’t wear a bra and it is important to me that you know that

- slight animal theme here with the cheetah print and tabi flats.. it just makes Sense To Me

- for the making of these moodboards i didn’t really look for specific brands or fashion houses i would just pick pieces from my own pinterest boards as i scrolled through them but ive said time and time again that charles would be a die hard miu miu girl it just makes sense to me !!!

- keywords: playful + eclectic + romantic

george

- cool summer; i went with light and airy colors so lots of cream and cyan and powder blue

- silhouette wise i wanted to go with tight/confining pieces ?? to show off her self-discipline and uptightness… character design 101

- i feel like she’d (FOOLISHLY and BLASPHEMOUSLY) be self-conscious of her height so shoe-wise she’d do flats/oxfords/loafers/boat shoes (lol i know..) but if she *had* to wear something more formal she’d go with kitten heels

- keywords: intellectual + subdued + structured

lewis

- bright spring; i stuck with purple/magenta/silver as the main colors on this moodboard for the sake of visual cohesion but i feel like her wardrobe would be much much much more colorful

- with this one i knewww i needed to step my pussy game up bc of who we’re dealing with… someone who knows Actual Fashion.. so i knew i could not for the life of me make something ugly or god forbid boring

- lots of fun glitzy glamour ! i had to physically restrain myself from not doing just cunty clubwear bc this is meant to be for present-day self-actualized crunchy granola lewis not old testament hooking-up-with-rihanna lewis.. ik that version of herself speaks to her like venom

- like boy lewis i feel like she would like to show off her guns so lots of sleeveless tops 🙂‍↕️ but also some more billowing silhouettes !

- she’s tiny so she’d lovee to wear a big ass platform

- keywords: glamorous + sleek + futuristic

[taylsluvs]

Drawing Closer ♡

Jungwon x fem!reader

English is not my first language, so sorry if there are any mistakes :(

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, terminal illness,death of a reader. (Sorry) (If I forget something, don't hesitate to tell me)

This story is based on the Japanese Netflix movie "Drawing closer" but here Jungwon is not sick like Akito, mentions the other Enhypen boys and Rei and Wonyoung from Ive, in this universe they are not idols

It was a quiet afternoon, like any other, in the hospital where y/n had spent the past few months. The routine was monotonous: checkups, medication, and long hours staring out the window. Her world had been reduced to the white walls of her room, the beeping of the monitors, and the soft murmur of the nurses in the hallway.

However, that day was different. As she gazed out the window, her mind lost in thought, she saw a group of boys running in the nearby park. They were wearing school uniforms and laughing with such carefree joy that y/n felt a slight pang of nostalgia.

One of the boys immediately caught her attention. He had a bright smile that seemed to light up the place. He ran lightly, as if the whole world were on his side. When the group of boys stopped to rest, he looked up, and to y/n's surprise, he stared directly at her.

Caught off guard, y/n quickly looked away. But when she looked back, she saw him smiling and waving at her. Her heart skipped a beat.

The next day, as she flipped through a book with little interest, someone gently knocked on her door.

"Can I come in?" asked a young, cheerful voice.

When y/n looked up, she saw the boy with the bright smile, holding a small but colorful bouquet of flowers.

"Hi," he said, stepping in cautiously. "I'm Jungwon. Yesterday I saw you from the park, and I thought you might need something to brighten your day."

y/n looked at him in surprise, unsure of what to say. No one outside her family had cared about her in a long time.

"I... thank you," she murmured, feeling her cheeks warm.

Jungwon walked over and placed the flowers in a small vase by her bed. Then, he pulled out a bag of sweets and handed it to her.

"Do you like candy?"

"Yes... but I'm not supposed to eat too many."

"Then we can share them," he replied with a mischievous smile, taking one out of the bag and offering it to her.

y/n couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you always this friendly with strangers?"

"Only with those who seem to need a friend," he answered, sitting in the chair beside her bed.

That was the beginning of something y/n hadn’t expected. Jungwon stayed talking with her for hours, asking simple yet important questions: what her favorite color was, if she had a song she liked, how she spent her time in the hospital. At first, y/n answered shyly, but his enthusiasm was contagious, and soon she began to speak with more confidence.

Before leaving, Jungwon promised to return.

"I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?"

y/n nodded, feeling something she hadn’t felt in a long time: excitement for the next day.

That night, as she looked at the flowers he had left, a small spark of hope ignited in her heart.

The next day, just as he had promised, Jungwon appeared at the door of y/n's room, this time with a book under his arm and a smile as bright as the one from the day before.

"Hello, y/n! How are you today?"

She looked up from the notebook where she had been doodling. Although she wouldn’t admit it, she had been waiting for him.

"Better, I guess," she replied, trying not to show too much emotion.

Jungwon walked in confidently and sat in the same chair by her bed, placing the book on the table.

"I brought this. It’s a short story book, I thought we could read it together. Some are funny, others a little sad, but they’re interesting."

y/n took the book carefully and read the title quietly.

"Why are you doing this? You barely know me."

Jungwon shrugged, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Why not? You seemed interesting, and besides, I don’t think anyone should spend so much time alone."

Jungwon’s words touched something inside y/n, a wound she had tried to ignore for months. She lowered her gaze to the book, playing with the corner of the pages.

"I don’t have friends... I’ve never had any."

Jungwon stayed silent for a moment, watching her. Then, with a soft but determined tone, he responded:

"Well, now you have one."

y/n looked up, surprised.

"What?"

"Me. I’ll be your friend," he said with a smile so warm that it made y/n feel a lump in her throat.

She tried to say something, but no words came out. Instead, she nodded shyly, and a small smile appeared on her lips.

From that day on, Jungwon became a constant part of y/n’s life. Every day after school, he would come to the hospital with something new: a book, flowers, a game on his phone, or simply stories about what had happened in class.

He told her about his friends: Heeseung, who was the most talented in sports; Jay, who had a great sense of humor and always found ways to get into trouble; Jake, with his sweet and cheerful personality; Sunghoon, who was more reserved but incredibly kind; Sunoo, who always made everyone laugh; and Niki, the youngest but also the most energetic of the group.

"They’re like my brothers," he explained one day, showing her a group photo on his phone. "I’m sure you’d get along with them."

"I don’t know... I’m not good with people," y/n admitted, playing with the edge of her blanket.

"That doesn’t matter. They’ll love you because you’re you, just like I love you as you are."

y/n looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. It was hard not to believe him when he said it with such conviction.

With each visit, Jungwon managed to pull y/n out of the bubble of loneliness she had been trapped in. He taught her to play video games, introduced her to songs he listened to with his friends, and even tried teaching her some dance moves while she laughed from her bed.

One day, while they were in the middle of one of those fun moments, Jungwon asked her an unexpected question.

"Do you have a dream, something you’ve always wanted to do?"

y/n paused, thinking. She had had dreams once, but her illness had extinguished them one by one.

"I think... I’ve always wanted to feel like part of something," she said finally, in a soft voice. "I don’t know how to explain it, but I want to know what it’s like to have a group of people who accept me, who care about me."

Jungwon looked at her seriously, nodding as if he were planning something in his mind.

"Then I’ll make that happen. I promise I’ll make it happen."

y/n didn’t understand what he meant, but the confidence in his voice made her feel that, maybe, it was possible.

That day, as Jungwon left the room, y/n looked at the fresh bouquet of flowers he had left in the vase. For the first time in a long time, she realized that she didn’t feel alone.

A week later, Jungwon arrived at y/n’s room more excited than usual. He had a big smile on his face and was holding a bag with a female school uniform.

"y/n! This weekend is the festival at my school, and I already spoke with your doctors. They said you can go out for a while if you take care of yourself."

y/n looked up, surprised.

"A festival?"

"Yeah, it’s super fun. There are food stalls, games, music, and at the end, fireworks. I want you to come with me."

y/n hesitated. Her health had been fragile lately, and although the doctors had approved the outing, she still felt scared.

"I don’t know... What if I don’t fit in?"

Jungwon knelt down to her height and gently took her hands.

"I already told you, my friends will love you, y/n. Plus, you don’t have to worry. I’ll be with you the whole time."

The sparkle in his eyes and the warmth of his voice finally convinced her.

The day of the festival arrived, and Jungwon showed up with a wheelchair decorated with colorful ribbons.

"If we’re going out, we’re doing it in style," he joked as he helped y/n sit down.

She couldn’t help but laugh. Although she still felt a little nervous, Jungwon’s presence made her feel at ease.

When they arrived at the school, the place was full of life. The laughter and chatter of the students created a festive atmosphere, and the smell of street food filled the air.

"Jungwon!" shouted a voice from a distance.

A group of boys ran up to them. y/n recognized some of them from the photos Jungwon had shown her: Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki.

"She must be y/n!" exclaimed Sunoo with a big smile.

"Finally meeting the famous friend of Jungwon," joked Jay, winking at her.

The boys introduced themselves one by one, each one warmer and more welcoming than the last. Despite her shyness, y/n began to feel comfortable.

"Ah, there are Rei and Wonyoung!" said Jake, pointing to two girls near a game stall.

Jungwon pushed y/n’s wheelchair toward them, introducing them enthusiastically. Rei was a girl with dark hair and bright eyes, while Wonyoung had a sweet smile and a charming air.

"Hi, y/n. Jungwon has told us a lot about you," Rei said kindly.

As the group chatted, y/n couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Rei was. There was something about her confidence and charisma that made it hard not to admire her.

Later, when Jungwon and y/n were alone in a quiet corner, she dared to mention what she was thinking.

"Rei is really beautiful. I think she would be a great match for you."

Jungwon stopped in his tracks, surprised by her words. Then he shook his head with a soft smile.

"Rei is a great friend, but no. I’m not interested in her."

"Why not? She’s perfect."

Jungwon leaned slightly toward her, his expression serious but tender.

"Because there’s already someone I like."

y/n’s heart skipped a beat.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "And that person is right in front of me."

y/n was speechless, feeling her face flush with heat. Jungwon, noticing her nervousness, just smiled and gave her a light tap on the shoulder.

"Come on, there’s still a lot to see."

The night of the festival went on, and the energy in the air grew more magical with every passing moment. Jungwon’s friends and y/n had been touring the stalls, laughing, and sharing stories. y/n, although she had been shy at first, was feeling incredibly comfortable with the group. The guys were fun and kind, and Rei and Wonyoung had been a constant support, making sure to include her in everything.

Finally, the most anticipated moment arrived: the fireworks. The crowd began gathering in the open field behind the school, looking for the best spots to watch the show.

"y/n, come with me," Jungwon said, taking the handles of her wheelchair and moving it a little further ahead, away from the group.

"Why here?" she asked, looking around.

"Because I want you to have the best view," he replied with a smile.

They stopped in a quiet spot, where the lantern lights barely reached. They were close enough to the others to hear their laughter, but far enough to feel like they were in their own world.

The sky suddenly lit up with bursts of color, and y/n looked up, mesmerized.

"It’s beautiful," she murmured, almost without realizing it.

Jungwon, however, wasn’t looking at the fireworks. His eyes were fixed on her, watching the way the light danced across her face, how her eyes sparkled with awe.

"Yeah, it is," he responded, though he wasn’t talking about the sky.

y/n turned to him and noticed that he was staring at her. Her heart began to race.

"What’s wrong?" she asked, nervous.

Jungwon didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned a little closer to her, keeping his gaze fixed on hers.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly, almost like a whisper.

y/n felt her face flush. She had never been kissed before, and she wasn’t sure what to do. But there was also something in the way Jungwon looked at her that made her feel safe, like this moment was just for them.

"I... I’ve never kissed anyone," she confessed, looking down at her hands.

Jungwon smiled gently.

"Me neither," he admitted.

She looked up, surprised.

"Really?"

"Really. But I think this is the perfect moment to learn, don’t you think?"

y/n nodded shyly, and Jungwon leaned in even closer, stopping just before their lips touched, as if giving her a chance to change her mind.

When their lips finally met, it was a short, shy kiss, but full of tenderness. They quickly pulled apart, their faces as red as tomatoes, and started laughing nervously.

"That was... nice," y/n said, still feeling the warmth on her cheeks.

"Yeah, it was nice," Jungwon replied, smiling like a fool.

Behind them, Jungwon’s friends had seen the moment from a distance. No one said anything out loud, but they exchanged knowing glances and shared smiles.

"It was about time," Sunoo whispered, laughing quietly.

After the fireworks ended, the whole group gathered to take a picture. Heeseung insisted on taking it, making sure everyone was in the shot. Jungwon stood behind y/n’s chair, leaning slightly toward her, while Rei and Wonyoung stood next to her, hugging her warmly.

"One more, to make sure!" shouted Jay, as the camera captured another picture filled with smiles.

When the night came to an end, Jungwon took y/n back toward the entrance of the festival. As they said goodbye to the others, Rei and Wonyoung ran toward her, excitement on their faces.

"y/n!" Wonyoung exclaimed, taking her hands. "We really like you, you know? Now we’re officially best friends."

"Yeah!" added Rei. "When you get a phone, you have to message us every day."

"And we have to listen to and dance to K-pop together," continued Wonyoung, excited. "There are so many things we can do, even in the hospital."

"We’ll always visit you," promised Rei, smiling sincerely.

y/n couldn’t help but smile. For the first time in a long while, she felt like she belonged somewhere, that she had a group of people who really cared about her.

"Thank you, really," she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

Rei and Wonyoung gave her one last hug before saying goodbye, and y/n watched as they ran off, still chatting together.

That night, as Jungwon took her back to the hospital, y/n realized just how happy she was. Her heart was full of gratitude, both for Jungwon and for the friendships she had found thanks to him.

For the first time, she felt like life, although complicated, could still be beautiful.

The day after the festival, y/n was lying in her hospital bed, still smiling from the magic of the night before. Her mind replayed the happy moments: the kiss under the fireworks, the laughter with Jungwon’s friends, and the friendship promises from Rei and Wonyoung. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard hurried footsteps and familiar voices in the hallway.

"I think it was this way!" Wonyoung said, a little out of breath.

"No, we passed it, didn’t you see the sign?" Rei replied, sighing.

"You two are lost again!" Jungwon joked, sitting in a chair next to y/n’s bed.

Suddenly, Rei and Wonyoung burst into the room, slightly out of breath but with huge smiles on their faces. Both were carrying bags full of things and seemed ready for an important mission.

"We’re here!" Wonyoung yelled, waving a bag in the air.

"You took your time, don’t you think?" Jungwon said, smiling playfully.

Rei frowned, though she was clearly joking.

"Late or not, it’s girls' night. So… Jungwon, out!"

"What? But—"

"No buts!" Wonyoung exclaimed, gently pushing him toward the door. "Today is just for the three of us."

Jungwon looked at y/n, who was laughing uncontrollably at the scene. Though he hesitated to leave her alone, the happiness on her face convinced him.

"Okay, okay, I’m going," he said, raising his hands in surrender. Before leaving, he leaned in a little toward y/n and whispered, "Have fun, okay?"

y/n nodded excitedly, and Jungwon left, leaving the three girls alone.

"Finally! Now the fun begins," Rei announced, dropping the bags on the floor.

Wonyoung pulled out a box with a shiny pink iPhone and handed it to y/n.

"This is for you."

y/n blinked, surprised.

"What? I can’t accept this, it’s too much..."

"Of course you can," Wonyoung interrupted with a smile. "My dad has a tech company. This is nothing for him, and you need it."

Rei nodded, supporting her friend.

"Plus, how are we going to gossip with you if you don’t have a phone?"

With trembling hands, y/n took the phone, excited but a bit overwhelmed by the gesture.

"Thank you, really..."

"Don’t thank us too much, there’s more," Rei said, pulling out makeup, cute clothes, and even silly wigs from the bags. They had also brought food that they knew y/n could eat, like small cakes and fruit drinks.

The girls began setting everything up. While Wonyoung showed y/n how to use her new phone and create an Instagram account, Rei took out the makeup and discussed what look would be best for her.

"We’re going to do a simple but cute makeup, so you look like an idol," Rei said, determined.

"Me? An idol?" y/n asked, laughing.

"Of course. From now on, you’re part of our group, so we need to make you look spectacular," Wonyoung replied while showing her how to take photos for her profile.

When they finished doing her makeup, Rei and Wonyoung put on the clothes they had brought and ridiculous wigs, one blue and the other a crazy blonde. They turned on K-pop music on y/n’s phone and started dancing as if they were giving a live concert.

"This is our debut as a group!" Wonyoung shouted while Rei did an exaggerated choreography.

y/n couldn’t stop laughing as she watched them move around the room, filling the space with laughter and energy. Suddenly, the two girls came up to her, took her hands, and started moving them as if she were dancing too.

"y/n is leading the group!" Rei announced while they all laughed.

After dancing, they took lots of pictures, some cute and some completely hilarious. One of y/n’s favorites was one where the three of them wore the wigs, making silly poses in front of the mirror.

In a quiet moment, while they were looking at the photos, y/n began to cry silently. Rei and Wonyoung noticed immediately.

"What’s wrong, y/n?" Rei asked, approaching with concern.

"It’s just that... I’m so happy. I never thought I’d have friends like you."

Wonyoung hugged her tightly while Rei stroked her hair.

"We’ll always be here for you, y/n. No matter what happens, we’re a team," Wonyoung said seriously.

"Exactly. And not only that. You’re going to recover because you have to. We still have so much to do together," added Rei.

"Like what?" y/n asked, smiling through her tears.

"Like winning an award for best K-pop group, obviously," Rei joked, making them all laugh again.

"We already have a name, remember?" Wonyoung said.

"Of course," Rei said. "The Star Girls."

"I love it," y/n whispered, feeling happier than she had in years.

That afternoon, as Rei and Wonyoung left the hospital, y/n stayed looking at the photos on her phone, smiling. Though her body was weak, her heart was fuller than ever thanks to the friendships she had found.

A week after the unforgettable girls' afternoon, Jungwon arrived at the hospital with exciting news. He and his friends had planned a small beach trip, something simple but special, to spend time together. He had spoken with the doctors and Y/N's parents, who agreed to the idea as long as she didn't exert herself too much.

"The beach?" Y/N asked, her eyes wide. "I've never been to the beach."

Jungwon smiled, taking her hands in his.

"Then it will be your first time. I promise it will be unforgettable."

Y/N, excited, started telling Jungwon about everything that had happened with Rei and Wonyoung. She showed him the photos they had taken together, including the ones with wigs and funny poses.

"They look so happy," Jungwon commented, looking at the pictures with a soft smile.

"I am. I never thought I would have friends like them... and friends like you," Y/N added, looking at him with gratitude.

Jungwon looked away for a moment, a bit embarrassed, but he couldn't hide his happiness.

When the day of the trip arrived, Y/N was ready, her face glowing with a radiant smile. Jungwon arrived early at the hospital to pick her up, making sure everything was ready. He had a backpack with blankets and special food for her, prepared by Y/N's parents.

The drive to the beach was lively, filled with laughter and conversation. Rei, Wonyoung, and Jungwon's friends—Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki—were also there, ready to have an unforgettable day.

When they arrived, Y/N was speechless. The view of the endless ocean, with the waves gently crashing on the shore, was more beautiful than she had imagined.

"It's incredible," she murmured, her eyes shining.

Jungwon helped her out of the car and placed her in her wheelchair, pushing her toward the shore. Rei and Wonyoung were running on the sand, excited, while the guys set up an umbrella and started getting the food out.

The group spent the afternoon laughing and playing. They ate together on a blanket spread out on the sand, sharing stories and joking with one another. Jungwon stayed close to Y/N, making sure she was comfortable and happy.

"Are you having fun?" he asked her, offering her a small piece of watermelon.

"A lot. I never thought I'd see something so beautiful... or have friends like this," she replied, smiling at the group.

Before the sun began to set, the guys decided to get in the water, not caring that they didn't have swimsuits. Heeseung and Jake were the first to get wet, and soon everyone was splashing each other, laughing.

Y/N watched from the shore, feeling a mix of happiness and nostalgia. She wanted to join them, but she knew she couldn't. Her body was too weak.

Jungwon, noticing her expression, quickly returned to her side.

"Do you want to go in?" he asked.

"I want to, but... I can't."

Jungwon knelt next to her chair and took her hand.

"Then we'll stay here. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you."

Y/N smiled shyly, and Jungwon helped her get out of the chair. They sat together on a blanket, watching the horizon. The sky began to turn shades of orange and pink as the sun slowly sank into the ocean.

"It's cold, huh?" Jungwon said, pulling a blanket from his backpack and covering both of them.

Y/N nodded, leaning slightly against his shoulder. The moment was perfect, peaceful, as if the world had disappeared, leaving just the two of them.

After a while, Y/N broke the silence.

"Jungwon... there's something I want to tell you."

He looked at her, noticing the change in her tone.

"What’s wrong?"

Y/N took a deep breath, gathering the courage she needed.

"I never told you because I didn't want you to treat me differently... but I have a terminal illness."

Jungwon looked at her intently, his face filled with concern.

"What kind of illness?"

"It’s a condition that weakens my heart. The doctors say that, at any moment, I could...—" her voice broke, and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I could die."

Jungwon felt a knot in his stomach, but he didn’t let his own feelings take over. Instead, he wrapped Y/N in a hug, resting his chin on her hair.

"Thank you for telling me," he whispered. "But you don't have to face this alone. I'm here, and I always will be."

Y/N cried quietly against his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace. Jungwon gently pulled back to look into her eyes, wiping the tears from her face with tenderness.

"You're stronger than you think, Y/N. And even though it hurts to know you're going through this, I won't let you face it without someone who loves and supports you."

Carefully, he kissed her on the cheek, followed by a soft kiss on the lips, so tender and full of affection that Y/N felt her heart fill with love.

When they returned to the group, everyone gathered for one last photo together. Y/N, despite everything, smiled sincerely, surrounded by the people who had become her family.

That night, as they drove home, Y/N knew that this day would be forever etched in her memory as one of the happiest days of her life.

After their day at the beach, Y/N began to reflect deeply on her life and what she truly wanted to do with the time she had left. She knew she couldn’t change her fate, but she could choose how to face the days ahead. Inspired by the love of Jungwon, her friends, and the beautiful memories she was creating, she decided to live life to the fullest, without regrets.

However, she also made the decision not to tell Jungwon that her time was limited. She didn’t want him to be sad or worried. She wanted him to remember her as someone happy and full of life, not as someone losing the battle.

One afternoon, while Jungwon visited her at the hospital, she took his hand and looked at him with determination.

"I want to do many things with you, Jungwon. I want to live every moment as if it were the last."

He looked at her, surprised, but nodded with a smile.

"We'll do everything you want, Y/N. I promise."

The next day, Jungwon organized a small outing to the park with his friends and the girls, Rei and Wonyoung. Y/N was in her wheelchair, but that didn’t stop her from enjoying the sun, the trees, and the sound of the birds.

"Let’s have a picnic!" Sunoo announced, pulling out a blanket and food.

As they ate, Heeseung and Niki began playing a guessing game that made everyone laugh. Rei and Wonyoung taught Y/N how to edit the photos they were taking together, showing her filters and effects that made her laugh.

Later, Jungwon took Y/N to a quiet corner of the park. He had prepared a surprise: a new sketchbook and a set of colored pencils.

"For you to keep drawing, like you did at the hospital," he said, smiling.

Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she held them back.

"Thank you, Jungwon. You always think of everything."

She began to draw while he sat beside her, watching her with tenderness. She drew a tree with flowers falling, and in the center, two small figures holding hands: them.

A few days later, Rei and Wonyoung came with exciting news. They had gotten tickets to a K-pop concert and wanted Y/N to go with them. Although Jungwon was a bit worried, the doctors and Y/N’s parents gave their approval, as long as they took precautions.

On the day of the concert, Rei and Wonyoung helped Y/N get dressed in cute clothes and a bit of makeup. Jungwon accompanied them, making sure everything was okay.

When they arrived at the stadium, Y/N was amazed by the energy of the place. The lights, the music, and the fans’ screams were unlike anything she had ever experienced. During the concert, Y/N sang and moved her hands to the rhythm of the songs, feeling more alive than ever.

At one point, Jungwon leaned toward her and whispered:

"Your smile is brighter than all these lights."

Y/N felt her heart beat loudly, not because of her illness, but because of the love she felt for him.

Jungwon and Y/N began spending more time together. Sometimes, they would go to small cafés where Y/N tried desserts she had never had before. Other times, they would simply stroll through the park or watch movies together in the hospital, sharing laughter and deep conversations.

One night, Jungwon took her to a special place: a hill where they could see the stars clearly. He brought a blanket and a thermos of hot chocolate, making sure she was comfortable.

"Did you know there’s a star for every person in the world?" Jungwon asked, looking at the sky.

"Really?" Y/N replied, amazed.

"Yes. And if I could choose one for you, it would be the brightest of them all."

Y/N blushed and smiled, feeling more grateful than ever to have Jungwon by her side.

Although Y/N tried to stay strong, she knew her body was getting weaker. She decided not to worry anyone and continue enjoying every moment, even though she felt the end was near. One night, while she was alone in her room, she wrote several letters for Jungwon and began to draw what she loved most: the moments she had shared with him.

Each drawing was special: one of Jungwon smiling, another from the festival, another from the beach, and one more of the fireworks, where two figures were kissing.

In one of her letters, she wrote:

"Jungwon, thank you for showing me what it is to love and be loved. Thank you for every smile, every laugh, and every moment we spent together. Although my time was short, with you it felt eternal. You will always be my brightest star."

Y/N's days grew increasingly difficult. Her body was weaker, her skin paler, and her eyes were tired. She had lost a lot of weight, and even the simplest activities, like getting out of bed or talking for long periods, took a lot of effort. However, her spirit remained strong. Every time Jungwon or her friends came to visit, she gave them a smile, as if she wanted them to remember only the best of her.

Jungwon didn’t stop visiting her for a single day. He spent hours by her side, reading her books, showing her funny videos on his phone, or simply holding her hand while they both gazed out the window. Although he tried not to show it, he was devastated to see her like this. Every time he left the hospital, tears escaped his eyes, but he always promised himself not to cry in front of her.

One day, while Rei and Wonyoung were with Jungwon at the hospital café, they came up with an idea: to celebrate Y/N’s birthday. Her 16th birthday was approaching, and they wanted to make sure it was special, even if she couldn’t go out.

“She deserves the best birthday,” Wonyoung said determinedly, while Rei nodded.

“We’ll bring balloons, gifts, cake... everything we can to make her happy,” added Rei, excited.

The boys also joined in the plan. Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki were in charge of buying balloons and confetti, while the girls picked out a cake and gifts. Jungwon, on his part, prepared something special: a necklace with a small star-shaped pendant.

When Y/N’s 16th birthday arrived, her hospital room was filled with life. Pink balloons decorated every corner, confetti was scattered across the bed and floor, and a pink chocolate cake sat in the center of the table, surrounded by gifts.

When Jungwon and the others entered the room, singing "Las Mañanitas" enthusiastically, Y/N was lying in her bed, weaker than ever, but with a smile that lit up her face.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” they all shouted in unison, while Wonyoung and Rei approached to hug her gently.

“I can’t believe you did all this for me,” Y/N murmured, her eyes shining with tears.

“Of course we did. You’re our friend!” Rei said with a smile.

“And you’ll always be the star of our group,” Wonyoung added, winking at her.

Jungwon slowly approached and took her hand, kneeling by her bed.

“How do you feel, birthday girl?”

“Tired... but happy,” she replied, looking at him with tenderness.

Everyone sat around the bed as Sunoo lit the candles on the cake.

“Make a wish, Y/N,” Jake said, smiling.

Y/N closed her eyes for a moment, silently wishing: I want everyone I love to be happy, even when I’m no longer here.

Then, with Jungwon’s help, she blew out the candles, and everyone clapped.

After the cake, the friends began giving their gifts. Wonyoung and Rei gave her a makeup set and a new wig, while Heeseung and Sunghoon gave her a collection of postcards with beautiful landscapes. Niki gave her a large stuffed animal, and Jay and Jake brought an empty photo album for her to fill with memories.

Finally, Jungwon approached and took out a small velvet box.

“This is for you,” he said softly, opening the box to reveal the necklace with the star pendant.

Y/N looked at him, surprised, as he bent down to carefully put it on her.

“You’re my brightest star, Y/N. I want you to always remember that.”

Tears rolled down Y/N’s cheeks, but this time, they weren’t tears of sadness.

“Thank you, Jungwon. Thank you for everything.”

Although Y/N couldn’t move much, her friends made the afternoon unforgettable. Rei and Wonyoung began dancing a K-pop choreography in front of the bed, making everyone laugh. Sunoo and Niki tried to imitate them but ended up stumbling, causing the group to burst into laughter.

Y/N watched everything from her bed, feeling full of love. For a moment, she forgot her illness, forgot the pain, and simply enjoyed the happiness around her.

When the afternoon ended, her friends said their goodbyes one by one, promising to visit her again soon. Jungwon was the last to leave, and before he left, he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“Happy birthday, Y/N. You’re incredibly special to all of us.”

Y/N watched him leave, feeling that her heart was full of gratitude and love. She had turned 16 surrounded by the people she loved most, and that was all she could ask for.

When Jungwon arrived home after the birthday party, he felt a mix of happiness and exhaustion. His mind kept replaying the images of the celebration: y/n smiling with everyone, surrounded by friends who loved her, and him by her side, feeling a unique connection with her.

As he entered his room, he grabbed his phone. The first thing he saw was an Instagram notification: y/n had posted a new photo. Jungwon smiled when he saw the picture she had posted of the whole group celebrating her birthday. Everyone was smiling, and y/n, though a bit pale and weak, looked radiant, surrounded by love.

But what really caught his attention was the second photo. It was a selfie of y/n and him, taken during the calmest moment of the afternoon, when they both sat together, wrapped in a blanket while watching the sunset. The photo was accompanied by a message:

"I love you so much, Jungwon. You're the reason I keep smiling. Thank you for being my star. 💖"

Jungwon's heart raced as he read her words. Though his face showed a happy smile, he couldn't help but feel emotional. y/n's love for him was pure, sincere, and even in the midst of her illness, she never stopped showing it.

He decided the perfect response would be to leave her a comment full of love:

"I love you more, y/n. Thank you for being the light of my life. 💫"

After doing this, he put his phone in his pocket, thinking about how lucky he felt. Not only did he have y/n by his side, but he had found something deeper than any other relationship he had ever had in his life.

That night, Jungwon had dinner with his parents, as usual. But this time, the conversation took an unexpected turn. As his mother asked him about his day, his father, as usual, was more serious and direct.

"How was your friend's birthday, Jungwon?" his father asked, though with a slight grimace showing some disinterest.

Jungwon, smiling, responded enthusiastically:

"It was amazing, dad. We were all so happy, and y/n looked radiant."

But then, his mother's expression changed.

"It's good that you take care of her, son, but... don't you think it's a little complicated?" his mother said with a tone that seemed somewhat distant to Jungwon.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"I mean... she's so sick. She doesn't have much time, Jungwon. Don't you think you're getting into something that might hurt you?" his father said, his words falling like cold rain on him.

"But..." Jungwon started to say, not knowing how to respond, feeling a knot in his chest.

"She's a burden, son. You know how it is... someone who's so sick can't be in a real relationship, not now," his mother continued, her tone filled with concern but also something that Jungwon couldn't identify as anything other than disapproval.

His father's words struck his mind, and his breath quickened. Something inside him ignited, a flame of defense that he couldn't extinguish.

"She's not a burden!" he replied, raising his voice, surprising his parents with his firm tone. "y/n is not a burden. She's my life. And I won't leave her for anything in the world, even if they tell me it's not the 'right' thing to do."

His parents looked at him, surprised. His father frowned.

"Jungwon, it's just... she's so sick. Why stay with someone like that? She's going to leave you soon."

"I don't want her to leave, but that doesn't mean she's a burden!" Jungwon stood up from the table, anger about to burst. "y/n makes me happy. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and the one I love most in this world. I won't leave her, no matter what happens. She's not strange or a burden. She's my love. And she always will be."

His mother fell silent, while his father gave him a disapproving look. Jungwon was about to continue, but when he saw his mother's sad expression, something inside him softened.

"I'm sorry, mom, dad, but I have to do what I feel. And what I feel is that y/n is the most important thing in my life right now."

With that, Jungwon left the room, leaving behind a tense atmosphere. He headed to his room, where, once alone, he let out a deep breath. He had defended y/n, but the conversation with his parents had left him exhausted.

He looked at his phone again and the photo of y/n. In that moment, he knew he wouldn't let anyone, not even his parents, tell him what he should feel or do. If his love for y/n was something he had to follow, he would do it no matter the circumstances.

The day was cloudy, and the fresh air filled the atmosphere of the hospital. Jungwon arrived with a shy smile, as he always did, but today there was something different in his gaze. Today, something more important than his friendship with y/n was about to take place. y/n's breathing had become more difficult with each passing moment, but still, her heart kept beating strongly for Jungwon, and she couldn't stop smiling as she saw him enter. Even though her body no longer responded with the same vitality, her spirit remained intact, and he was the reason.

Jungwon entered the room and approached her with a tender gesture. He was holding a small box in his hands, something simple but meaningful. He sat beside the bed, and for a moment, they just looked at each other in silence, as if words were unnecessary.

"y/n..." he said softly, taking her hand. His voice was so warm and sincere that it made the air between them feel lighter.

y/n tried to smile, but her breathing grew slower and more labored. Her eyes sparkled with emotion, but her words no longer came as easily. Her lips moved with difficulty, but Jungwon looked at her with a deep understanding. He knew their time together would not be long, but what he felt for her had no limits; it knew no time.

"I love you..." she said with difficulty, her voice weak but filled with love.

When Jungwon heard her, he squeezed her hand a little tighter, feeling the knot in his chest tighten. He couldn't wait any longer; he didn’t want to wait any longer. He wasn't afraid because what he felt for y/n was bigger than any fear of losing her. Life was uncertain, but his love for her was not.

"y/n..." he said with a gentle smile but filled with emotions. "I've been thinking a lot, and I don't want another moment to pass without you knowing how important you are to me. You're my everything, you know that, right?"

y/n tried to respond, but her strength wasn’t the same. Still, her face lit up with a look of happiness. She showed him that she understood everything with a gaze that said more than a thousand words.

"I... I want..." Jungwon hesitated a bit, but when he saw y/n’s eyes, he found the courage. "I want you to be my girlfriend, y/n. Despite everything, I want you to be with me, now and always. Will you be my girlfriend?"

y/n tried to speak, but the words didn’t come easily. However, her radiant face and eyes full of love were enough for Jungwon to know that her answer was yes. y/n’s smile, although weak, was the most beautiful one Jungwon had ever seen. Her eyes sparkled with tears of happiness.

Breathlessly, y/n finally managed to say:

"Yes... yes... I want... to be your girlfriend... Jungwon..."

Jungwon, his heart racing, looked at her intently. Emotion completely enveloped him. The simple fact that y/n accepted, even in her situation, was a gift—something so big that he couldn’t describe it in words.

He leaned toward her carefully, so as not to hurt her. Gently, he kissed her forehead, then her cheek, in a gesture of pure and sincere love. He kissed her softly, without rushing, giving her all his affection in that small but meaningful gesture.

"Thank you..." he whispered, unable to stop a tear from sliding down his cheek. "I love you, y/n. I always will."

And even though she couldn’t speak much, y/n smiled with her eyes, with that special light she always had when she was with him. Despite all the pain she felt, her heart beat stronger than ever. Because she knew that in her final moments, she had found the purest love, the love she had always dreamed of.

That day, Jungwon and y/n shared a connection that transcended words, one that only true love could understand. They looked at each other, smiled, and in that silence, they both knew that what they had was something eternal.

The days passed slowly in the hospital, and although y/n’s health was deteriorating, her love for Jungwon remained alive, as strong as ever. Jungwon, for his part, stayed by her side day after day, doing everything he could to make her feel special, despite the difficulties. They had shared many moments together, but now, in the calm of the hospital, there was a sense of urgency to make the most of every instant, to create memories that could last beyond the physical.

One peaceful afternoon, after the doctors gave her a little rest, Jungwon entered y/n’s room with a small box in his hands. y/n, though weaker than ever, lifted her gaze when she saw him enter, and her eyes sparkled with an indescribable tenderness. Despite everything that was happening, she had never stopped smiling when she saw him. Her love for him was so great that not even the illness could extinguish it.

"What’s that?" y/n asked, her voice hoarse but full of curiosity. She knew Jungwon always surprised her with small but meaningful gestures.

Jungwon approached y/n’s bed with a shy smile and a glimmer in his eyes. He opened the box and took out two bracelets, one with white beads and the other with pink beads. The bracelets were simple, but to him, they meant much more than just an accessory.

"These are for us," Jungwon said, looking at y/n with a soft expression but full of emotion. "I want us to each wear one as a symbol that we’ll always be together, no matter what happens."

y/n, although she didn’t have much strength, weakly lifted her hand to see the bracelets. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw how thoughtful and tender Jungwon was with her. Although she couldn’t move much, her feelings hadn’t changed one bit. She loved Jungwon deeply, and now he was giving her a piece of his heart through this small gesture.

"It’s... beautiful," y/n said with a broken voice, smiling as tears fell down her face.

Jungwon, carefully, took one of the bracelets and gently put it on y/n’s wrist. Then, he put the other on his own wrist. The bracelets fit perfectly, as if they were made just for them.

"Now we’ll always be connected, no matter what," Jungwon said, looking at y/n with a mix of tenderness and sadness. "Every time you look at your bracelet, you’ll know that I’m wearing one just like it."

y/n nodded slowly, her eyes shining with gratitude and love. Although she was already very weak, she felt that this small gesture from Jungwon kept her alive in some way. She took her wrist with the bracelet in her hands and gently caressed it.

"I’ll always carry you in my heart, Jungwon," she said, speaking haltingly, but her voice full of emotion.

Jungwon leaned toward her, kissing her forehead softly. He felt a strange peace knowing that, even in the hardest moments, he could make her happy with small gestures. He wasn’t afraid to show what he felt, and now, more than ever, he wanted y/n to know how much he loved her.

In those quiet moments in the hospital, they shared more than just bracelets. They shared looks filled with love, soft caresses, and silent promises that, even though the future was uncertain, they would always have each other, no matter what.

And even though y/n’s body was fragile and her breathing labored, the bond between them had never been stronger. They both knew that what they had was more than just a relationship; it was a connection that transcended time, one that didn’t need words to be understood.

The room was completely silent, only interrupted by the faint hum of the medical machines. y/n lay in her bed, wrapped in a white blanket that contrasted with her pale skin. In her hands, she held her phone, gazing at the photos of the happiest moments she had shared with her friends, and most importantly, with Jungwon. Each image was a reminder that, despite her illness, she had experienced pure love and unbreakable friendships.

There was one photo in particular that she couldn’t stop looking at: it was the one she had recently posted, from her birthday. She was surrounded by balloons, cake, and all of her friends, with Jungwon by her side, smiling as if the whole world was perfect. That image was her most cherished treasure, reflecting all the good that had come into her life in the past few months.

However, as she stared at the screen, a sudden pain shot through her chest. At first, it was mild, like a sharp sting, but it quickly became unbearable. Her breathing, already weak, began to accelerate as cold sweat covered her forehead. She tried to call her mother, but her strength wasn’t enough. The phone slipped from her hands, falling to the ground with a dull thud.

“y/n!” her mother shouted, seeing her writhe in pain. She rushed to her side and took her hand, desperate. “Doctors! Nurses! Help, please!”

The nurses and the doctor rushed into the room. In an instant, the room was filled with chaos. The monitors began to emit a constant beeping, announcing what her mother feared. y/n was suffering from cardiac arrest.

“Quick, prepare for resuscitation!” the doctor ordered, while the nurses adjusted the machines and prepared the defibrillator.

As they worked frantically to save her, y/n felt the world begin to fade. The physical pain was intense, but what truly tore at her was the emotional agony. She knew the end was near, and memories of her life began to flash in her mind.

She saw her parents smiling as they played with her as a child. She remembered her little sister hugging her, always full of love and innocence. Then, her mind filled with Jungwon: the first time seeing him, his shy smile when he spoke to her, the days they spent together in the hospital, the kiss under the fireworks. Then came the memories of Rei and Wonyoung, how they had accepted her and brightened her days. All those moments rushed by like a whirlwind, but in each of them, Jungwon was there, as if he were the center of her happiness.

“Jung... won...” she whispered weakly, though no one could hear her.

The doctor kept trying, again and again. Each electric shock made y/n’s body lift slightly, but there was no response.

“Again! We can’t give up!” the doctor said, though his voice was beginning to crack.

After ten minutes of attempts, the monitor displayed a flat line. The constant beeping filled the room, confirming what everyone feared.

“Time of death...” the doctor said softly, tears filling his eyes. The nurses looked away, unable to face the sadness of the moment.

y/n’s mother let out a heart-wrenching scream, falling to the ground while holding her daughter’s lifeless body. Her younger sister, who had been waiting outside, ran in and, upon seeing the scene, broke into tears, unable to understand why her older sister was no longer with them.

“No, y/n! No, please, don’t go!” her mother cried, as her father held her, tears in his eyes.

The room was filled with pain, a pain so deep it seemed unbearable.

At that same moment, miles away, Jungwon was in his room. He sat at his desk, looking at some pictures of y/n on his phone, remembering her smile and how she made him feel. Suddenly, an inexplicable pain pierced his chest.

He placed his hand over his heart, trying to calm the sensation he didn’t understand. It was as if something inside him had broken, as if a part of his soul had been ripped away.

“What’s happening...?” he murmured, staring into the empty space.

Unknowingly, Jungwon had just felt the emptiness left by y/n’s departure. Although he didn’t yet know the news, something inside him knew that the world had just changed forever.

Jungwon woke up the next day with a strange feeling in his chest. The inexplicable pain from the night before was still there, like a constant pressure he couldn’t ignore. He felt restless, but he didn’t understand why. He looked at his phone and noticed that y/n hadn’t responded to the messages he had sent before going to sleep.

"Maybe she was tired," he thought, trying to calm himself down. He wanted to believe everything was fine, that this discomfort was just a coincidence. Determined to brighten her day, he prepared everything to visit her: he bought a bouquet of fresh flowers, a small bear plush with a red bow, and her favorite food.

As he walked toward the hospital, he tried to maintain a smile, though part of him couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. When he entered the building, he noticed the atmosphere seemed different, heavier than usual. There was less noise in the halls, less movement. But Jungwon tried not to pay too much attention to it.

He continued walking, carefully holding the plush and flowers, until he reached y/n’s room. When he opened the door, his smile disappeared. The bed was perfectly made, the white sheets as if no one had ever used them. The K-pop posters that y/n adored were no longer on the walls. The plush toys that always kept her company were gone, and the flowers he had brought on other occasions weren’t there either.

For a moment, he thought he had entered the wrong room. "Did I make a mistake?" he murmured to himself, stepping back to check the number on the door. It was the right room, but something didn’t fit.

Then, he heard a faint sob coming from the corner where the sitting area of the room was. With his heart racing and a lump in his throat, Jungwon slowly walked toward the sound. There, he saw y/n’s mother sitting in a chair, her face covered in tears.

—Ma’am... where is y/n? —Jungwon asked in a soft voice, although he could already feel fear creeping over him.

y/n’s mother looked up when she heard his voice. She tried to smile at him, but tears kept falling down her face. She struggled to stand and walked toward him.

—Jungwon... —she said with a broken voice, placing a trembling hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Jungwon dropped the plush he was holding. His mind had already understood what his heart didn’t want to accept.

—No... no, please, no... —he whispered, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped back, unable to face the truth.

y/n’s mother hugged him, trying to calm him, but both of them crumbled at the same time. Jungwon broke into silent sobs at first, but soon his pain became uncontrollable.

—Why...? She was fine! We were planning so many things! —he cried between sobs, unable to understand why life had been so cruel to them.

At that moment, y/n’s younger sister entered the room. Her small arms tightly held her sister’s favorite plush, and her swollen eyes reflected the same pain Jungwon felt.

—She... she loved you so much, Jungwon... —the little girl said through tears as she approached him and hugged him tightly.

The scene was heartbreaking. y/n’s mother, her sister, and Jungwon joined in a hug full of pain, sharing the loss of someone who had brightened their lives, even if only for too short a time.

When they managed to calm down a bit, y/n’s mother took Jungwon’s hand and led him to sit down. Carefully, she handed him a drawing book and a package of letters wrapped with a pink ribbon.

—This... this is for you, Jungwon. y/n made them thinking of you. She asked me to give them to you if anything happened to her... She wanted you to read them at home, in private.

Jungwon took the objects with trembling hands, feeling his heart break even more.

—Thank you for everything, Jungwon. Thank you for giving my daughter a reason to live. She was happy... because of you. She never stopped talking about how much she loved you.

He nodded, unable to speak. His throat was closed with the tears that still threatened to overflow.

—The funeral will be in two days... If you want, you can come. She would have liked for you to be there.

Jungwon could only nod again. As he left the hospital, he pressed the book and the letters against his chest, feeling like he was carrying a part of y/n with him. His heart was shattered, but he knew he had to fulfill her last wish.

Jungwon arrived home with his heart in a thousand pieces. He tightly held the drawing book and the letters y/n had left for him, as if they were the only things keeping him standing. As soon as he opened the door, his mother, who was in the living room, saw him enter. Noticing his state, she quickly got up, leaving the book she had been reading.

—Jungwon... —she began to say, concerned. However, upon seeing the tears streaming down her son's face, she understood immediately.

She approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

—I warned you, son. I told you this was going to happen... —she murmured, with a tone that was both sad and resigned.

But when she saw Jungwon completely break down, releasing a heartbreaking cry as he clung to the drawing book, her heart softened. Without saying anything more, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

—I’m sorry, son. I’m so sorry...

Jungwon let himself fall into her arms, crying inconsolably. For several minutes, his mother held him, stroking his hair and letting him release all his pain.

—She wasn’t a burden, mom... She was the best thing that ever happened to me.

His mother nodded, kissing his forehead.

—I know, Jungwon. I know.

After a while, Jungwon went upstairs to his room. He closed the door behind him and sat on the floor, still hugging the book and the letters. He felt exhausted, as if the weight of the loss was crushing him. Finally, he took a deep breath and opened the package of letters, determined to hear the words y/n had left for him.

The first letter was written in delicate, albeit somewhat trembling, handwriting. Jungwon recognized the effort y/n had put into every stroke. When he opened it, he read:

**"My dear Jungwon,

I don’t know how much time I have left when you read this, but I want you to know that every moment with you was the best gift life could give me. Thank you for coming into my life when I needed you most and for giving me a reason to live again. You are my first love, my first kiss, my first 'boyfriend'... and also my last.

Being your girlfriend was the best thing that happened to me. I loved it when you came to the hospital, when you looked at me with those bright eyes full of love. You made me feel beautiful, even on my worst days. Thank you for staying with me, even when you saw me feeling down. I don’t know how to thank you for everything you did for me."**

Jungwon cried as he read, tears falling onto the letter. He continued:

**"Please, don’t feel guilty. Don’t think you didn’t do enough, because you did more than anyone else would have. You gave me pure and beautiful love, and even though I wish I could stay longer with you, I want you to move on. I want you to live for me, to keep smiling, dancing, and reaching your dreams.

I love you, Jungwon. I will always love you, even from wherever I am now. I hope you remember me as someone who loved you so, so, so much."**

The letter ended with a small drawing of the two of them together, holding hands, with hearts around them.

Jungwon put the letter aside and opened the drawing book. The first drawing was of him, in his school uniform with a radiant smile. He remembered the day y/n had met him and how she had told him that his smile was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

The next drawing was of the flowers he always brought her at the hospital, drawn with such detail that it seemed like he could almost smell them. There was a small note beside it that read: "I will always remember your scent of flowers and happiness."

There was a drawing of the school festival, with all of their friends and y/n in the center. At the bottom, she had written: "It was my happiest day."

Then, he came to the drawing of the fireworks, where she was in her wheelchair and he was kneeling in front of her, sharing their first kiss. Around it, there were words in Korean that said: "Thank you for loving me. You are my star."

Each page of the book was a reminder of the love they had shared, the happy moments they had created together, even in the midst of the hardest circumstances.

Jungwon took another letter and opened it carefully. This one read:

**"When you think of me, I don’t want you to cry. I want you to smile. Remember everything we did together and keep those memories in your heart. Be happy, Jungwon. Please, be happy.

And when you look at the sky and see a bright star, think that it’s me watching over you, reminding you that I will always be with you."**

Jungwon pressed the letter to his chest and closed his eyes, letting the tears flow freely. Even though his heart was broken, he felt a small spark of comfort knowing that y/n had loved him as much as he had loved her.

At that moment, he promised that, no matter how much it hurt, he would find a way to move forward because he knew that was what y/n wanted for him. She had left him not only her love but also a reason to be strong.

The day of Y/N's funeral arrived, enveloping everything in an atmosphere of sadness. The sky was gray and cloudy, as if even the universe was crying her loss. In the main hall, where the ceremony was taking place, there was a large photo of Y/N smiling, placed on a table adorned with white flowers and roses, her favorites.

Jungwon arrived early, wearing a black suit that seemed to absorb all the light around him. In his hands, he carried the stuffed animal he had bought for her the day before and a white rose. Despite his composure at first, his heart was shattered. He had spent the night without sleeping, reading Y/N's letters and looking at her drawings over and over again.

When he entered the hall, he felt the air grow heavy, almost unbearable. In front of Y/N's photo were her parents and little sister. Y/N's mother was completely devastated, her eyes swollen from crying. Her father tried to stay strong, but his hands trembled as he comforted his little daughter, who clung to Y/N's favorite stuffed animal.

Jungwon walked slowly toward them. Upon seeing him, Y/N's mother hugged him again, as she had done days before, but this time neither of them could hold back their tears.

"Thank you for coming, Jungwon. She loved you so much..." she whispered, her voice breaking as she said the words.

Jungwon could barely respond, he just nodded as he placed the white rose on the table and set the stuffed animal next to Y/N's photo.

Little by little, Jungwon's friends began to arrive. Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Ni-ki entered with solemn faces. They, too, brought flowers, and although none of them knew Y/N as well as Jungwon, they knew how much she meant to him. They gathered near Jungwon, offering him silent support.

Rei and Wonyoung arrived shortly after, both with red eyes from crying so much. Rei held a bouquet of flowers and a photo they had taken together during one of their girls' afternoons at the hospital. Wonyoung carried a small letter she had written for Y/N, promising she would never forget her. Both approached Y/N's family to hug them, and then joined the group next to Jungwon.

The ceremony began with words from the priest, but Jungwon could barely hear. His mind was filled with memories: the first time he saw Y/N, her laugh, her smile, her soft voice calling him "my Jungwon." Everything felt unreal.

When it was time for some friends and family to share words, Jungwon slowly stood up. Everyone looked at him with empathy, knowing how much Y/N had meant to him.

"Y/N..." he began, his voice trembling. He paused for a moment to take a breath, trying to hold back his tears. "Y/N was... is... the most special person I've ever known. She taught me what it really means to love, despite everything. She showed me how to find happiness even in the hardest moments."

He paused and looked at Y/N's photo.

"I can't imagine my life without her, but I know... I know she would want me to move on. I won't say goodbye, because I will never forget her. Y/N will always be a part of me. Always."

With those words, he left the letter she had written for him on the table, next to the stuffed animal, and returned to his seat, breaking down in tears as Rei and Wonyoung embraced him.

At the end of the ceremony, everyone gathered at the cemetery. Y/N's coffin, covered with flowers, was slowly lowered. Her parents and little sister were devastated, crying inconsolably. Jungwon, standing next to his friends, felt his heart breaking even more with each passing second.

When the burial ended, everyone began to place flowers on the grave. Jungwon was the last. He knelt in front of the tombstone and whispered:

"I love you, Y/N. You will always be my star."

He left the last white rose on the grave and stayed there, even when everyone else began to leave. He couldn't let her go, not yet.

That night, while looking at the stars from his room, he remembered what Y/N had written in one of her letters: "When you look at the sky and see a bright star, think of me watching over you."

Jungwon smiled faintly through tears, promising himself that, even though it hurt, he would move forward for her, because he knew that was what Y/N would have wanted.

Time passed, but the memory of Vannia remained deeply rooted in Jungwon. The first few days after the funeral were the hardest. Every corner of his life reminded him of her: the hospital, the messages on his phone, the photos she had posted, and the letters she had written. But instead of letting the pain consume him, Jungwon decided to honor Vannia’s memory by living life the way she would have wanted: with love and gratitude.

Jungwon began spending more time with the friends they both shared. Rei and Wonyoung visited him often, and together they recalled the happy moments with Vannia. Rei even organized an afternoon where they recreated the "concert" they had done at the hospital, dancing K-pop songs with contagious energy.

"Vannia would be laughing at how badly I dance," Jungwon joked one afternoon, attempting a "Hype Boy" move.

"She’d say you're improving, even if just a little," Wonyoung responded with a smile.

Despite the laughter, there were days when Jungwon felt overwhelmed by sadness. During those moments, he sought refuge in the letters and drawings Vannia had left him. Each word she had written felt like a hug from beyond, reminding him of how much she loved him.

One night, while reading one of the letters, he found a page he hadn’t noticed before. It was a drawing of him looking up at the sky, with a bright star above his head. Next to the drawing, Vannia had written:

"Jungwon, don’t be sad for me. Every time you look at the stars, remember that I’m always with you. I love you more than words can say, and I want you to be happy, even if I’m not physically there. Live your life to the fullest, but don’t forget about me, okay? Because I’ll never forget you."

The words made him cry, but this time not only out of sadness, but also out of love.

As the months passed, Jungwon found ways to keep Vannia’s memory alive. He volunteered at the hospital where he met her, visiting other patients to cheer them up, just as Vannia had cheered him up. Over time, he began organizing small events with his friends, such as game afternoons, picnics, and beach visits, making sure everyone felt supported and appreciated.

One day, Rei and Wonyoung surprised him with a gift. They had created an album with all the photos they had of Vannia: the school festival, the beach, the birthday at the hospital, and many other special moments.

"We wanted you to have this, so you’ll always remember her with a smile," Rei said, handing him the album.

Jungwon received it with gratitude, feeling a warmth in his chest.

That night, while looking at the stars from his window, he smiled. He could imagine Vannia sitting on one of them, looking at him with that sweet smile he loved so much.

"I promise I’ll be happy, Vannia," he murmured, a mix of tears and a smile on his face. "And when it’s my turn to get there, I hope I’ll see you smile again."

With that promise in his heart, Jungwon closed his eyes, feeling that, even though she wasn’t physically there, Vannia would always be with him, guiding and loving him from the stars.

The End.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Damn that ivy fic hurt so good I need another.

How about ivy x reader but iii is in love with reader too but always thought she only loved him as an older brother but on a random friday she‘s tipsy and confessed to him that she had a huge crush on him but he never made a move but ivy did and she eventually fell in love with him?

Love in depths of silence

iii had always been a class clown. Never cared much for it. Never cared that he looked silly or unserious. He enjoyed it. Letting his bubbly personality show. It was him being his true self just… minus the deeply loving and caring side. When you had walked in with just as much sas he knew you were gonna get along just fine. And boy had he underestimated.

Crew often joked that you two should never be left alone unsupervised because if not one then the other was dancing on top of the tables or trying to prove that one could lift the leg higher than the other. There was constant laughter with you. Genuine one. One that made him giddy inside for hours as he thought back on it. But there was also a deeper part to this. One where you two would only have to look at one another to feel it. The pull. The slowly growing desire. They say that eyes never lied and in this case, they did the most talking.

When the flirting started it was hard to distinguish it from silly banter. So the push and pull started. That night in London after the fully sold-out arena happened. The thrill of it all. The buzzing in the air. The pins and needles in the fingers. The dim back room. iii’s hand in your hair as he pressed you against the wall. That kiss had it all. The longing. The desire. The love blossoming in silence. You had been the outlet and then when he had seen your big eyes looking back at him as he pulled away. He had panicked. Fully panicked he spewed something about this being a mistake as he stumbled back into the main room.

It had all shifted after that. For a handful of weeks, you two had fully ignored each other. iii knew that he had to be the one who had to take the first step. But how do you make a comeback after that? So he waited. Watched. You slowly went back to a somewhat similar banter. And after thinking of it for days he had finally bit the dust and went up to your hotel room. Palms sweating as he waited for you to answer. “Hey”, your cheeks were flushed, only a button-up jacket over your frame. “Hi, I was…”, iii frowned slightly as he let himself drink you in. “I…”, “Baby, who is that?”, that voice alone sends iii’s heart falling to his feet. “Did you need something?”, you asked softly but all iii can focus on now are the rustling sheets and the sound of footsteps. His shirtless bandmate walking from the back side of the room. “Hey, dude what’s up?”, iv says casually pulling his pants back up. iii honestly felt like laughing. No, the first reaction was to punch iv actually but he knew he had no right to so he had to back away. “Can’t seem to find my phone, thought that I maybe…”, iii was quick to shrug, “Actually maybe I do know where it could be”. And he’s turning so quickly he’s surprised he doesn’t tumble.

It was one agony-filled pretend fest after that. His only salvation was that you two didn’t seem too keen on public affection but even then fate would pull him to you. Making sure he would end up in the back room just as you were straddling iv, kissing him. Eyes falling to your interlinked fingers as you walked back to the bus. Ivy’s clothes you wore. He had a feeling that he could have had that. That it had been right there but he had fucked it.

And he had thought that he was starting to get over it. That he would move on. Make peace with it. Should have known it was a fool’s dream. The moment you stepped into the pub for that post-tour celebration. All iii could do was look at you. The lace dress. The heels. You were a vision. A fucking apparition he had been chasing for months now. One that had given him a fleeting hug before settling on iv’s lap.

“You’re quiet”, you nudged his shoulder as most of the guys had taken it upon themselves to either go dance or refill everyone’s drinks. “Just tired”, iii shrugged. You were inches apart. He could feel the warmth from your body. Smell your perfume. Then you just let out a giggle as you shook your head. “What’s so funny?”, he asked turning to you slightly. “Just… you know I had the biggest crush on you”, you mussed still shaking your head, “and I still think that you’re an ass for what you did”. iii wrapped his hand around his glass tightly, “I apologized”, “Did you?”, you asked bitterly. “I was pinning after you like an idiot and then you had pretty much called me one too”, you sighed, staring ahead. “Ever thought about the fact that maybe I had feelings for you too?”, iii bit back. “Oh, please”, you rolled your eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for months and I fucking blew it all out the window”, iii put his glass down on the table running a hand over his face. “Iii”, “Don’t give me that pity party boo shit”, he grumbled pushing out of the booth. “Don’t you fucking walk away”, you hissed following after him just his steps were a lot bigger and faster. “Iii this is your last warning”, you grunted as you both pushed into the called night. “Or what?”, he turned back harshly. You two were all up in each other’s faces at this point. “Or I will let go and you will never be able to reach me”, you whispered. “Go back inside”, iii said coldly, “your boyfriend is looking for you no doubt”. “You’re being an asshole again”, you muttered. “Just let me go”, he shook his head, stepping backwards. “Do you really want me so bad if you’re walking away for the second time?”, you muttered bitterly. “You don’t know shit about it”, iii shook his head, walking away.

[oldsoul007]

long journey

nicholas chavez x wife!reader

a/n: heyyyy guys….sorry ive been MIA and not active lately BUT school has been so hectic so i just finished finals AYYYY anyway ill def be more active these days coming cus im finally on break so expect some fun stuff. enjoy ;)

based on this request: Can you do one where Nicholas and Yn have a son and the little boy (even though he's a toddler) he's already taking strides towards independence and Nicholas is feeling the growing pains of letting go and still wants to keep his son little still?

Me and Nicholas sat on the couch, quietly watching our son, Ethan, as he carefully stacked his toy blocks, his little tongue sticking out in concentration. At just three years old, Ethan was becoming increasingly independent, a fact that filled his parents with both pride and a bittersweet sense of nostalgia.

“Look at him,” I murmured, my voice tinged with awe. “He’s getting so big. He didn’t even need our help with that tower.”

Nicholas glanced over at Ethan, a pang of something he couldn’t quite describe tugging at his chest. “Yeah, he’s growing up too fast.” His voice was softer now, almost wistful. “I can’t believe how much he’s learning every day. One minute, he’s asking for me to tie his shoes, and the next, he’s doing it on his own.”

I smiled, sensing the weight behind his words. I knew that Nicholas, a natural protector, was having a harder time adjusting to the fact that our little boy was no longer a baby. He’d been so hands-on, so involved in every little milestone, and now, Ethan was starting to take more and more steps on his own.

“I think it’s a good thing,” I said gently, taking Nicholas’s hand. “He’s becoming more confident. It’s a sign of how well we’ve done.”

Nicholas nodded but still seemed unsure. “I know, I just… I don’t want him to grow up too fast. There’s something about him asking me for help that makes me feel needed, like he still wants to be my little boy. I guess I’m not ready to let that go yet.”

My heart softened. I could see the deep love Nicholas had for our son, the quiet protectiveness that defined him as a father. But I also knew that the process of letting go was part of the journey—one that both parents had to navigate together.

“Ethan will always need you,” she said, her voice reassuring. “Just in different ways. He’s going to keep growing, but that doesn’t mean we lose the moments we have now. We get to watch him become someone new, someone amazing. And we’ll be there every step of the way.”

Nicholas watched as Ethan, oblivious to the conversation, triumphantly added the final block to his tower. The little boy clapped his hands, beaming with pride, and looked up at his parents, his eyes bright.

“Look, Daddy!” Ethan said, holding up the tower with both hands. “I did it!”

Nicholas smiled, his heart swelling with emotion. “You did, buddy. You did.”

For a moment, he realized that even though Ethan was becoming more independent, he would always be our little boy. The feeling of being needed might change, but the love and connection would only grow stronger.

Nicholas reached down to ruffle Ethan’s hair, a tear threatening to well up in his eye, but he blinked it away with a soft laugh. “Guess I’m just going to have to keep up with you, huh, kiddo?”

Ethan giggled and gave him a tight hug, and in that hug, Nicholas found a comfort—a reminder that no matter how much Ethan grew, he would always be his son.

[theartofwoompwoomp]

I’m a mother now

Optimus x reader

Summary: reader thinks bumblebee is their son now that they’re going out with prime

���——————————————————————

To this day you’re just so grateful for the big blues love. 

There was many things that could have made your relationship with him impossible, but thanks to him, he made them all reasons for a stronger bond.

He was a busy tall alien metal life form, but heck, you knew what you were getting into when you said yes to being his significant other.

Now you also know that having a significant other is no small thing. Especially not with a situation a bit complicated with you and your partner.

Interesting enough, you hadn’t met any of Optimus other autobots. He had mentioned them before and you knew some through descriptions but you never actually had the chance to meet them.

Not that you minded, you knew how hard it was for all of them and you didn’t want to be a burden.

You simply decided to enjoy the presence of your big lover. Leaning a bit on his shoulder towards the side of his neck. Feelings his digit reach you, poking you a bit on your side making a smile stretch on your face.

“Hey blue?” Your voice softly sliding through his helm, now lowering his digit, “Yes, my love.”

“Im so glad I met you.” You feel him tense a bit. Placing your hand on his neck drawing little shapes as you continue, “I never was close to anyone, you know?” His silence encouraging you to continue.

“I mean, maybe there’s something wrong with me but..” your voice hesitating a bit as you go on. “even if i was surrounded by others,… it just didn’t feel right.” You get up now standing, and he gets the memo offering his servo for you to get on.

Looking at him, he can see your sadness, anger, and peace. How the memories of the past brought pain and how the present grounded you.

It was one of the many things he liked about you. How even if you’re not feeling well, you continue on despite the pain. He knows what that feels like.

And you didn’t like sharing your true emotions. 

Especially after not allowing others to see your vulnerabilities for a long time. Yet, you wanted him to know. To know the impact he’s had in your life. 

“Optimus, after meeting you Ive come to realize the true feeling of belonging.”

It’s not noticeable, but you always knew how to tug his spark. Your words replaying in his mind. And your evening with him wasn’t much different after that, at least for you.

When he got back to base he was still thinking about your words. Wondering if you’ll feel more happy if you met his family the Autobots.

Maybe it would do you good. And even if it didn’t he wanted you to meet those he held dear. 

And it’s not like they didn’t know about you. He just simply didn’t want to get you involved with their problems, but after that night he acknowledged that his relationship with you would continue to grow. And he doesn’t want to keep you in a separate part of his life any longer.

When he told the autobots his idea, they were all ecstatic to meet in person the one who has captured their leaders heart. And after telling you, your reaction was no different.

The arrangement was all set. 

Currently the both of you heading towards base. You felt nervous, even if you knew they technically knew you and you technically knew them. It was still nerve racking. 

Especially when you knew how important they are to prime. They were his everything, and you didn’t want to disappoint.

When you were finally there you could see them chatting as they waited. Thanks to Optimus being very descriptive you immediately knew who was who.

Still in his aft-mode he caught their attention as they came closer. He transformed making sure to have you in servos still blocking them from seeing you. Sending you one last smile before introducing you.

“Everyone, I want you to meet my conjxn and significant other, (y/n).” 

Raising you bit so everyone could see you properly, you waved back with a nervous smile.  “Hello i’m glad we were finally able to meet.”

And at that the whole room explodes. Bumblebee immediately appearing to bombard you with questions, well noises. One second he was in front of you, the next he was pulled back by Ratchet. 

Feeling a bit bad for the cute bee you reach out, “It’s okay I don’t mind.”

He perks up at that quickly telling the medic off before going back towards you. Optimus lowers you a bit as bee stretches his own servo towards you. “Nice to meet you, you’re Bumblebee right?”

He makes some chirpy beeps as he nods excitedly. 

You wouldn’t have thought much about your introduction with him until you heard someone mention how Bumblebee must be really excited to finally have both parents in his life.

That caught you off guard, not expecting for that to have been the situation. 

You didn’t want to disappoint Optimus, especially not after knowing Bumblebee is his kid. You wanted to get along with him even if he didn’t see you as a parental figure. 

———————————————————————

Masterlist 

[rusmii]

𝜗𝜚 (HIS) ONLY

ft. dazai, chuuya, atsushi, akutagawa x fem!reader ; how they spend their december with you. cws; tooth rotting fluff, not edited, may be ooc.

love, runi. dear gosh its been so long since ive written 😭... i have a nsfw draft in the works, but i was feeling fluff atm 🙂‍↕️💗. i hope i did the boys justice 😭😭 and it doesnt seem too ooc :(. additionally, i don't think i'm going to disclose the actual reason for being offline for so long. am i sorry for deactivating? nah...

the 24th — his hands ran cold, puffs of icy air battling the hot cry of warmth. he could feel the ache in his bones, yearning for the fire a room away. "isn't it cold?" you ask dazai, who was sitting upright on the edge of your shared futon. "it is," he answers, a whisper so loud, even the wind howls with it. you shift away, holding the large coze of your blanket up high, a cave forming in mere seconds. "then get in." you say with a tired face, "i'm cold too, 'samu." warm me up, he almost missed. without protest, he curls up into your arms—embrace heating the ac he calls his blood. "can't sleep?" you ask the obvious, knowing he appreciated the sentiment anyways. "no." you can feel the small shake his head makes, as slow as a toddler may stand to understand physics, dazai is the same with himself.

it was confusing, all energy he focuses on you, is forced back on him with a stern lecture from you. every bicker and mumbles of defeat helps see the purpose of your intentions. "how are you going to take care of me, when you can't take care of yourself?" a question he could argue with, but deep down—he'd ponder the same question in his head. if he took care of himself, it'd make you happy, and him feeling unsure. if he took care of you, it'd make him happy, at the cost of your disappointment with him. take care of yourself, osamu. you'd always cry sheep as you comforted him. the same building resentment of having his freedom forced onto a schedule quietly turned into appreciation for your efforts.

you didn't leave him. didn't need to help him. you did anyways, the warm flutter he always feels whenever his hand grazes yours or the accidental eye contact throughout the day, was already telling enough. dazai wasn't obligated to show any gratefulness, and neither were you—yet you still did it. and every year since the day of your anniversary, there was always something special waiting for him. clothes, games, your love; everything, was there, in a box wrapped with his blues and your yellows. he envisions each gift to the tune of a shake from the box. each of them perfect, and what he preferred to have on this special occasion.

the 24th, his special gift waiting for you under the tree. to be opened, to be named, that's up to you to guess. but the small gift glistening underneath, cannot wait 'til morning. "i wonder what you got me." he feels your chest rumble softly. in almost an instant, the wear and tear of his job finally catches up to him. "you'll find out soon." dazai smiles against your chest, the soothing lullaby of your breathing nearly puts him to sleep. "happy anniversary, osamu. i hope you'll like my gift tomorrow." a few small circles rub dazai's head. he doesn't fall asleep until you do first. "i know i will," his voice quieter, gentler, matching the tempo of the dying breeze. and you'll love mine too, goes unheard. baby steps, baby steps were still baby steps.

the 25th — you looked just like a dream, the prettiest girl he's ever seen. in chuuya's mind, nothing quite comes and goes as slowly as your beauty. in fact, everyone assumes it's permanent by how he's so enamored—consumed with adoration. it should come as a surprise to no one, when he gifts you a personalized advent calendar to count down the days of his super secret selection of affection that chosen day. first it was hugs all day, then came kisses on the 3rd, and—oh he was so overwhelming with his love! and yet, you could never be bore of it. an excited squeal always left your mouth as soon the clock hit midnight, chuuya already making preparations for his swooning affection for the month of deer. "how's today?" he asks, seeking your approval from the early box picking. "perfect," you say, "i think you'll have me falling from the balcony with the way i'm falling for everything you do for me." he chuckles, "don't die yet, you still have a day, counting six extra, left."

the following day, you're awoken to the soft scent of cinnamon and marshmallows filling the tiniest gaps of air. you struggle to waken fully, still groggy from your late night endeavors with chuuya. matter of fact, where was he? it wasn't unusual for him to leave in the yawn of morning hours, but on his month off.. assuming the solution by the smell, you make way to the kitchen where chuuya stood behind a counter. he notices you in his vision before releasing a blinging smile. "good mornin' beautiful." a wink catches your eye, "couldn't sleep without me?" he says while patting fluffy pancakes down, each stacked imperfectly delicious with a drizzle of syrup and fruits decorating it. "and if i did?" you match his tease, creating an easy tension that could dissolve in any minute.

"well then, i won't keep ya' waiting." his lips form a familiar slant. using his ability to carry the plates and breakfast stand, chuuya's arms are already lifting you bridal. "why're you out of bed? i thought i gave myself enough time to surprise you." he nearly pouts to your face, not embarrassed to do so in front of you. you laugh it off, " 'tis okay, chu." booping him, he drops you onto the bed as some sort of petty revenge. "only if you say so." his lips met your cheek, propping the breakfast tray as you perched on your bottom. your stomach growled in anticipation, kneading the inner lining of your stomach. "well?" he asks, awaiting your approval once again. you picked up a fork and stabbed it into the fluffy pancake. bringing it up to his face, you tell him to open his mouth.

"first bite!" you nudge it closer, "okay," and without another word, chuuya took the entire thing into his mouth, "mmm - wow delicious. why don't you say; thank you chef nakahara." the mischievous in his tone was hard to miss—a smirk you wanted to wipe off his face. "you're welcome my princess." a giggle escaped with it. acting annoyed with the nickname, chuuya sneakily placed a dot of syrup on your cheek. "chuuya!" you gasp, scrambling to wipe away the sticky substance. "my bad, dear prince."

a small smack hit his shoulder, "go away!" nodding his head, he moves to get up, but is stopped by a small tug on his arm. "and bring me my gifts please." he thinks for a moment, arms relaxing and his body sinking back onto the bed. "oh? you mean the ones i threw in the fire to keep you warm last night? those presents? from under the tree?—ow! kidding!" he threw his arms up in surrender after getting smacked again, this time harder.

the 16th — when it came to december, atsushi was no stranger to the cold weather. being nearly stripped of everything but rags for clothes, he often got sick without compromise from the orphanage. when it came to his life in the agency—his life with you—he was taken care of, given affection he was denied, able to show the vulnerability the director shut down. in his own little mind, you were the stage centerpiece; a transition from the filthy pinecone to the golden star he finally got to place on his tree. "quiet," he almost flinches, until he heard a melody instead of the desolate, angry, mob. he opened his eyes, eyes blinding him with your beauty. "an angel?" he questions, still hazed from his pain. "no," you laugh, replacing the towel on his head, "[name]."

"[name]..." he repeats, affirming his belief of being fine and alive. in your shared home—kyouka standing beside you. "is he going to be okay?" her weary voice echoes concern, to which you pat her head and tell her to fetch some more water. "of course he is, he's atsushi. i need a refill, can you do it for me?" with kyouka hurriedly jogging away, you're left alone with atsushi. he moans, his joints aching with every twist. "are you doing okay?" you ask, rubbing soft circles on his palm. "feel so nauseous." he mumbles, throat hoarse like the attack on trojans. you cooed, a sweet lullaby that comforts him through thick and thin, "feel better soon, m'kay?" he bobs his head like copier, obedient. atsushis' peace answers with silence.

admist your little moment, kyouka arrives back with the water in hand. she hands you the small bowl and takes her seat next to you again. "he seems at ease," she notes. "does he?" you question, busying yourself with replacing the towel every now and then. "mhm," she nods, "i'm glad." a small smile comes foward on her dollified expression. kyouka also takes notice of the faint blush resting on his face, daint and obvious. she doesn't speak up about it, opting to pop the question in when atsushi was better. for now, she'll wonder what you two had talked about while she was out of the room.

the 31st — if akutagawa had any say about attending any gift-related events, he'd stay home. if akutagawa had any shred of empathy left, he'd conserve it just for you. a mistake, honestly. he curses to the devils' and above for forcing his heart to ponder sweetly for you. "no," he says, unwavering in his decision. "but, ryu!!" you whine so casually, wanting him to give in and get out of his comfort zone. you knew it wasn't an easy task, seeing as your beloved friend preferred to stay within the four white walls the port mafia created. "annoying," he grumbles, eyes tilting blinding anger, "leave me be." he shoves past you, destined to cast away your binding spell. you stand there, resolve strong as ever while defending against hollow words. "be that way," you sigh, "but before you leave, let me give you this." you pull out a small present, throwing it to akutagawa who caught it with rashomon.

"what's this?" he inquired, an annoyed grunt passing his lips when you don't answer and turn on your heels to leave. annoying, he thinks again. he decides to unravel his gift later, when he was in the comforts of his own home. "what's inside?" gin poked at it, wanting her brother to hurry it up already. "don't know, [name] gave it to me]." he sighs—a gentle remonstrance. gin nods in understanding, waiting eagerly for her brother to tear the paper apart. inside laid a small box, "is it jewelry?" akutagawa shrugged his shoulds, "might be."

he uncovers the tiny trinket inside. it appeared to be a plain, silver lining necklace with nothing attached. at the bottom of the box, a note read; a pitiful necklace for your grey home, truly, a noteworthy gift you thought of. "seems like [name] really likes you," gin jokes about. akutagawa was quick to shut it down though, not in the mood to entertain any lovey dovey tease. "alright, alright," she giggles, "are you going to the party tonight?" she switches the topic. the mafia didn't often hold parties—this year being an exception—to keep their reputation in check. "no, i don't think i will." gin pouts at her brothers' rejection. "i won't force you, but maybe you'd enjoy it." you'll see [name], is what she's implying. as much as he can deny the pointed accusations, it was obvious to others around, that akutagawa held a soft spot for you. he grounded himself, "no." his mental fortude will not be broken down by measly gifts. "mhm–okay," gin hides her grin exceptionally well.

on the day of the party, you're feeling gorgeous in your outfit, hair done and kept to match it. you greet others with polite grace, "good evening to you too executive ozaki." you return her greeting. she does a curt bow before leaving the short talk. hunger gnawed a tight grip on your stomach, a loud growl emitting nothing against the loud chatter of the room. you scan the area for the nearest buffet table to ease your hunger. spotting none, you traverse the mounts of cleanliness ordor into another area of the building, where you laid eyes on an exquisite high-top table filled to the edge of some of your favorites. your inner-self squealed in excitement, still needing to maintain your professional composure while walking down to it.

the closer you got, a familiar voice rang nearby. "i'd rather not talk about it," he adjusts the chain sitting on his neck, your eyes catching wind of his movements unbeknownst to him. "aww, c'mon akutagawa! just tell us!!" tachihara whined drunkenly, using gin as support as he leaned on her. "no," he says. "my brother is a little shy on the outside. don't worry tachihara–i promise he's feeling fluttery on the inside." gin reassures her friend with light taps on his hand. "am not." he glares, hardly ever removing that mean scowl of his. tachihara was about to make a scene until he flinched from your voice, "it's all in the tone, tachi," your half assed smirk eased in—delighted to see akutagawa wearing your gift, "the chain suits you, doesn't it?" you smile, that teasing glint shining in your teeth nearly makes the man in question falter.

"it does," he mutters, walking away with a clenched heart—the blush on the tip of his ears giving away his true feelings.

@ rusmii—everything is owned by mayira, she doesn't appreciate copyright breaches.

anyways lil rant at the bottom but, if ur not a writer, then u have no right to complain abt the amount of smut to fluff ratio 😭 (even then, as a writer, u should understand that complaining is not going to change anything).

im also tired of yall bitching abt everything in the x reader tag 😐 gtfo the place where ppl come to READ fics, not read ur bitching 🙏!

[complaining abt xyz] "oh im going to put this in the x reader tags to gain attention and sympathy for my cause!" OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

anyways, hello guys ik i wasn't gone for that long, but it feels like forever (cause i haven't written anything good yes ik). buuut.. my hyperfixiation on bsd isnt leaving anytime soon so why not make the most of it rn and write again. next fic is def smut 😴🤞.

[melissa-titanium]

i think your art is very beautiful //. !!!!!!!!!!!!!uhm what app slash program do you use or recommend ..

EV E Y BOD Y SAY. THAAAAAAAAANK UOU <33333 HELL O U SWEE TBEAUTIFUL THANG. IIIIIIII!!!!!!O K OK.

iam severely biased because i use csp and i Fucking Love CSP but. i have used lots of different art programs & can just share my experiences. my choice from top being first to bottom being absolute last

CSP ; i mean, like, legally speaking -- it costs money. but. like. you know. arr mateys and all that. smirk. VERY good program, super extensive & i believe its industry standard? one downside for most people ive seen is that it is. like. incredibly complicated & visually overwhelming. like this is my personal setup

BUT ALSO GOING INTO THIS MORE.,.. the interface is like. 100% customizable. you could completely get rid of every single thing on here except for the brush and colorpicker if you wanted. like it is completely customizable just do whatever the fuck u want forever ALSO ANIMATION FRIENDLY BLESS i do all my animations here!!! . i really like it because there is an entire asset store with people making dedicated brushes and models and textures etc etc & also its just. it has a nice feel to it :)) its hard for me to describe well but i love csp. my babygirl

MEDIBANG PAINT: i have not used this in . quite some fucking time so forgive me if some of this is outdated. its not like. NEARLY as customizable as something like csp or photoshop (ewww) but it works like. pretty fucking well honestly. the brushes all have a very nice feel to them and it's a very far far reach from csp in terms of like. Set up BUT its free and has a lot of pre-made brushes to pick from :) ... unfortunately theres no way to import stuff unlike csp and ps so ur stuck with things made within the app or downloaded from the cloud i think otherwise tho i think it has a very nice interface :)) NOT animation friendly tho. sigh

FIREALPACA: FREE... also you can animate in it but its fucking insane. better selection of brushes than medibang but im not a big fan of how it feels + it was super laggy for me when i used it....

KRITA: same as above p much but a smaller brush selection ... IBISPAINT: free! big fan of the brushes (+ theres a LOT of them) & even if the interface is a little confusing for me its pretty simple & would be good for sum people i think :) PROCREATE: $5 last time i checked? fuck procreate honestly. one of my least favorite programs & i used it for 2 years so i would know. it gets a LOT of popularity because its aesthetically pleasing and. YES the feel of the brushes is nice i will not lie but the shit hiding behind such a simple interface is the fact that there is literally. so few options/so little customization. very laggy, brushes are EXCLUSIVE to procreate & even if there's a wide selection if you want to move to a different program its gonna b a nightmare having to use totally different brushes. animation feature is fucking terrible, there's a seperate app made by the same people i think? and i havent tried that one but ive heard its good :)) regardless. procreate isnt BAD but it has an incredibly simple interface, ipad/iphone exclusive, only really works well with an apple pencil (which is already pretty fucking expensive on top of an ipad if you dont already have one LOL !?!?!?!?!?!?)

PHOTOSHOP: fuck adobe! expensive as hell + ia m generally just not a big fan of it or its interface... its not bad per se but i wouldnt reccomend it to anyone who hasnt Already Used It

THERES . PROBABLY MORE IM FORGETTING like i could say sony sketch & gimp and shit but i dont have enough experience with them 2 really say. regardless i hope IHOP;E ANY OF THIS MADE; SENS;E[ ;34TEORTUDOIG

[eah-confessions]

i think people are too harsh on the apple and raven switched at birth theory. sure, people are not allowed to like it and i'm not against pointing out the flaws in it but i sort of think people are overly negative about it's flaws, and i hope that doesn't affect the creator. and i'm saying this as someone who doesn't agree with the theory and also heavily disagrees with it

first of all one of the takes ive seen is switched at birth would "destroy" the destiny themes of the show- to which i heavily disagree. i feel like if the writers added this revelation later on in the series if way too wonderland and dragon games didnt end the destiny arc it would point the flaws in the destiny system and change the relationship's the royals. both raven and apple's moms have one track mind and believe their destiny should be followed. it would be a massive revelation to the characters and affect their relationships. i dont think it would make all the "drama" useless considering how a lot of it stems from the culture of the fairytale world, and it would force the characters to really consider what the destiny system is. one of the biggest revelations it would be if the parents didnt know too somehow, and it was a mistake the doctors made and not intentional. (or even an ordinary citizen of bookend who was mad at the destiny system- just throwing ideas out) if the story suddenly went this way, i wouldnt like it but it doesnt feel impossible to be added to the ever after high story, given cerise and ramona's story being added late in the story or holly and poppy. i mean swapping two different babies compared to twins being born really close together is a huge reach- but still.

another thing i've seen is that because blond hair can be be recessive it disproves the theory. i understand the theory is mostly because of the hair colors of the characters not matching, but i dont really think this disprove it because it's really hard to dispute given how bare bones the theory is. many bad theories are intentionally or not intentionally difficult to disprove. i also thought, as far as i know never seeing both sets of parents even in an illustration for them is kind of suspicious to me. it would be interesting to see them focus on their family tree as well, but they didnt probably because that would kill the suspense of seeing these characters later on.

i do think this is a bad theory (its more of an idea than a theory), but an interesting story concept that could have even be considered for ever after high. i do think that its possible that this was an early idea for ever after high. consider the following: ever after high was in development for several years and wasnt even about fairytales at first, it was about witches. disney was even working on desendants as well. now part of me wonders if the reason that apple doesnt have black hair is because of disney and not wanting to make the characters too similar to disney's despite them having the well known versions of many characters. so they have to call back to the disney version (ex: adding yellow and gold in apple's design) without directly copying them. another thing that strikes me as interesting is that in one of the original versions of snow white she has "hair as black as ebony" yet in her future shown in the mirror we never see snow white in the future with the blonde turning into black hair. in fact its raven who undergoes more of a transformation. knowing how much ever after high uses the original source material of the original it's something to consider. another interesting thing to consider is the possibility if cerise was going to be more relevant this theme would make sense throughout the series, of inheriting a destiny that doesn't belong to you (i believe she was in the stop motion short) so with this i propose that it could have been considered at one point for the story, but didnt use it because it didnt work. another interesting idea is apple and raven not being switched, but being related somehow. like if the good king had a relationship with snow white but left her for evil queen and she had apple because of that. so apple and raven would be half sisters. again, not something i would want in canon but still interesting.

i know the original posters of these takes might disagree with me, but i feel like switched at birth- even though not a well carefully or thought out theory (literally just a "what if") can open up more discussions of the creative decisions on ever after high, and i feel like the community just going at this theory (as well as other communities going after theories that arent just "its not real") to me is sort of unproductive. ive seen too many takes on why it's stupid and i'm tired. i think the original creator, as far as i'm aware is a well read person who made one bad theory so when people say that it "lacks media literacy" i sort of get mad on their behalf, also hating that as a buzzword. so yeah, even though i think switched at birth is a "stupid" theory i think it's overcriticized in the fandom for being bad, when the concepts it has are really interesting outside of this theory. because the fact the ever after high designers made the child of snow white a blonde is very interesting from a design perspective because snow white is well known in many versions of her tale for having black hair. as well as the fact that ever after high was sort of mistreated by mattel and that affected the plot we were shown and how the fandom interacts with eah media. sorry if some people see this confession is just "people are too negative" but i do think people are blowing how bad this theory out of proportion. it's a bad theory with a lot of potential. i think this fandom in general has a lot of problems of overusing negative criticism and certain discussions becoming popular over others, like overfocusing on the selfishness of certain characters and whether or not apple (or raven) is a good or bad person objectively and arguing about it amongst each other instead of like... the larger actual story? i also think switched at birth would make a good AU and seeing what it would mean for their fairytales is so interesting. but not a good theory, no...

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